#i’ve been working for five straight years at this job and everyday i still wake up gagging and trying not to get sick bc i’m so anxious abt

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i was gonna say someday in my life i will wake up before work and not feel like throwing up but then i remembered it’s an anxiety thing and it most likely will not stop so long as i have a job

[wondernimbus]

breathe — draco malfoy

pairing: draco malfoy x female!reader

prompt: her death leaves behind a void in draco’s chest nothing can ever fill.

t/w: death and mentions of anxiety

requests are open. please refrain from plagiarizing my work!

Five months.

He's gone five months without her. And he's determined to keep going—he has to. He has to. 

But goddamn does it bloody well hurt.

—

In the middle of a��quiet cemetery stands a boy in a black suit and a cluster of white roses clasped in his hands, eyes staring but unseeing as he stands over one of the countless tombstones with his heart in his throat and what feels like a gaping hole inside his chest.

"I miss you."

Snow falls from the sky. Bits of it sink deep into the fabric of his suit, fall into his hair, some onto his face. But Draco doesn't feel it, the bite of the cold. His knuckles may have turned a pinkish red from the frost and his blond hair may have turned stiff from the flakes of snow stuck in it, but he doesn't feel cold.

He's been cold for five months now. He can't feel it anymore.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

It has, says the voice inside his head that keeps him company when he feels the loneliest—when the pain becomes too much to bear—the voice that he knows isn't real and hates that it isn't. The one that sounds painfully like her.

"Yeah," Draco continues, bottom lip trembling, and it's not because of the snow. "I'm doing okay." He lies. Keeps lying. "I think I'm getting better."

He's not. He can't get better, not when he sees traces of her everywhere, even when she isn't really there.

He sees a wooden desk and remembers her with her head bowed over a sheet of parchment, tongue poking out of her lips in concentration as she chides him—"Not now, Draco, I'm studying"—he pulls out an old chessboard from the crevices of his closet and remembers her grinning in triumph over winning a particularly intense chess game even though he lost on purpose—he walks past a park and remembers lying on the grass in the Hogwarts courtyard with his head in her lap and her fingers raking through his hair as she told him Muggle stories of love and tears and laughter and everything in between. Stories with happy endings; so unlike Draco's and hers.

He squeezes his eyes shut; tears fall and trickle down his cheek onto the ground, joining the bundle of snow at his feet. 

"Life hasn't really been the same since—"

A sob tears its way up his throat and out of his lips before he can even think about suppressing it. 

"—since you left."

With his other hand—the hand that's not grasping onto the bouquet of roses like it's a lifeline—he wipes his tears away aggressively, almost angrily.

"I've started talking to myself a lot lately even though I know you're not going to respond because I've been so used to you being here to listen and now you're not."

Another sob. Pathetic, says a voice inside Draco's head. Not her voice. Never hers. She would never make him feel bad for feeling things—no, she'd crouch down next to him on the floor, wrap her arms around him and say "Everything's going to be okay, love. I'm right here with you. Right here" and he'd look up at her and start crying even harder, because in a world where his parents expected too much from him and he was never good enough, he had her.

Or, well. He used to.

Draco clenches his fists, nails digging crescents into his skin as his breathing gets uneven and the air suddenly feels too tight. He tries to ground himself by inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth and repeating the process—

"That's it, love. Keep breathing. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." 

Draco took another shaky breath, trying to focus on her face even though her features were blurred and he didn't quite know where to look through the tears obscuring his vision.

Panic attacks. He hated them. Hated the hand that felt like it had reached straight into his chest and started squeezing. Hated the tears that slipped out of his eyes almost automatically.

"It's okay, Draco. Breathe with me."

He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes, shoulders trembling from the effort. "You're doing such a good job, Draco," she said gently. Draco let out a long, shuddering breath. "You're doing so well. Now breathe. Breathe with me. In through the nose, out through the mouth—that's it, love, keep going. In through the—the—" her voice broke. Draco couldn't see it—and maybe it was better that way—but she'd started crying at some point.

"In through the nose," she continued, swallowing back a sob. "Out through the mouth. I love you, Draco. You're gonna be okay."

"I know you'd probably get mad at me for this if you were here, but sometimes.. well.. sometimes I find myself wishing I was dead."

And even though there's no one around that's listening and Draco is the only living, breathing soul among the countless graves, he feels exposed. Bare. Like he's laid his biggest vulnerability out for the rest of the world to see. 

"I wake up everyday," he says slowly, a crease in between his brows, "I stare up at the ceiling for a little bit. And then I get up, eat, sleep. Get up, eat, sleep. Over and over and over again."

A pause. "It all just seems so.. pointless," he bows his head, staring at his shoes as though he's ashamed. And he is. He's ashamed that he's like this—because he knows that if she were here (which she isn't, says that annoying little voice at the back of his head) she'd smack him upside the head and say

"Don't be ridiculous, Draco," she rolled her eyes, glancing up for a brief moment before transferring her gaze back to the textbook in her hands. 

Draco fell quiet again, staring into the embers of the fireplace. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to ask her to drop everything and run away with him on a whim.

A few seconds passed in silence. She looked up at him again out of concern to find that he hadn't moved at all. A twinge of sadness plucked at her chest and she sighed, closing the book with a soft snap as she set it down on the floor. 

Draco lost himself in his thoughts sometimes. It wasn't a common occurrence, but she'd seen it enough times to know how bad it could get inside his head. It was a side of himself that he only felt comfortable enough showing to her and her only—a side that he'd kept well hidden under the facade of arrogance he always had put up.

It was when he would start thinking about—well—everything. How he never seemed to match up to his parent's expectations no matter how hard he tried. He'd think about his obligations as the heir of one of the oldest pureblooded wizarding families. He'd think about his future and wonder if he deserved one with her with that dirty mark on his wrist.

Usually it would take quite a while to snap him out of his reverie, but tonight Draco seemed more lost in his thoughts than ever before. When she got up from the carpet to sit down next to him on the couch, his eyes were still hazy and unfocused. "Draco," she murmured, sitting with her feet tucked underneath her as she turned to face him. "Draco?"

Her hands reached out for Draco's, fingers slipping into the spaces between his own of their own accord. At this, he blinked, his gaze clearing, and looked at her. 

"Love," he breathed quietly.

She pursed her lips in a small smile, squeezing his hand in hers. "I'm here," she told him, basking in the silence of the Slytherin common room, only interrupted by the sound of her and Draco's breathing and the crackling sounds from the fireplace. She shifted on the couch to make herself more comfortable, leaning the side of her head on Draco's shoulder and ignoring the ache of sadness in her chest that would always come when Draco felt down.

"Galleon for your thoughts?" she whispered.

Draco unlaced her hand from his to slowly trace the lines on her palm with his index finger. "It'd take much more than a galleon, love," he whispered back, and there was a ghost of a small smile on his lips, but it was blanketed by the worry etched deep into his face. 

The corners of her mouth tugged up into a sad smile. There was nothing in the world that she wanted more than to rid Draco of all the worries plaguing his head. He'd grown up surrounded by so much despair and for years he had no one but himself to carry his burden with, but now here she was. And even though she'd already done everything she could to help him—and she continued to do so every single day—it never felt like it was enough. 

"You know you can always tell me everything, yeah?" she said quietly, looking up at him from the corner of her eyes. 

Draco, with his gaze fixed on their hands, nodded. "Yeah."

"I mean it. Always."

He smiled, and it was a real one this time. "I know."

The snow has stopped falling. Draco tastes tears, hot and salty, on his tongue. 

"I'm going to keep going, though," he tells her. Hangs onto the tiny sliver of hope he has that she is out there somewhere, listening. "I'm going to.. I'm going to keep getting up and eating and sleeping until it doesn't feel so tiring anymore. Okay?"

Silence. "Does that sound good, love?"

Like shouting into a canyon and waiting for an echo that would never come. 

"I know that's what you'd want," he says quietly, gritting his teeth. "For me to keep living. Not to give up. So that's what I'm going to do."

"Don't give up."

Draco snorted out a laugh. "Shouldn't you be telling yourself that?"

He was sitting with her at their usual table in the library; the one right by the window near the restricted section. She had a Potions quiz tomorrow—Draco being the "smartass" he was (or so she called him), didn't need to study, but she did. Him being her boyfriend, he'd offered to tutor her, unaware that it was easier said than done. She just couldn't, for the life of her, get the terms right. 

She scoffed. "I don't need to tell myself that. I won't give up no matter what—you, on the other hand.."

Draco scrunched his nose. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying you have a tendency to stop trying and call it a day."

"That is a lie."

"Is not."

"Well, I suppose it depends on the task—if it's tutoring you, then anyone's bound to give up.."

"Hey!" she reached over the table to smack him on the shoulder. He swiftly dodged, laughing. She rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress the smile on her face as she sat back down. "Maybe I should be getting a different tutor."

"Or maybe you should just be studying harder."

"Or maybe you should actually be trying to teach me—"

"I am!"

"—without giving up halfway!" 

Draco huffed. "Okay. Fine. Let's try this again. What's another word for wolfsbane?"

"Um," a pause. "No idea. Okay. I'm sorry." 

He let out an overly dramatic sound of complaint. 

"Don't give up, Draco," she reminded him, fighting back a laugh. "Don't give up."

Draco crouches down next to the grey tombstone already decorated with all sorts of flowers from friends and family and places his own set of white roses right next to her name. With hands that won't stop trembling, he pulls out a tiny box from his pocket.

"I was supposed to give this to you after the war," he says quietly, presses his palm to the snow under which he knows she's resting, looking as breathtaking as she always has with her eyes closed.

"I wish I could've given it to you when I had the chance, but.."

"Don't do this to me, love."

Draco couldn't think straight. He gathered her into his arms and cradled her the way he had done countless times before, except this time she wasn't smiling up at him with a familiar sparkle in her warm eyes—no, she was limp and cold and her eyes were open but unseeing. 

"No no you can't—you can't do this to me—" Draco was gasping for breath that wasn't there. Choking on his tears, he shook his head repeatedly, rocking back and forth on the ground, "Look at me, love, you promised you wouldn't leave—"

In the middle of a destroyed hallway, with the battle of Hogwarts in full fledge all around him, a boy in bloodied robes and an entire ocean caught between his lashes knelt on the ground, cradling the only person who had ever mattered to him in his arms as she did exactly what he was begging her not to do—

"You can't leave me like this, love. Don't leave me like this, please please—"

—and died.

Left him. Just like that.

In the middle of the empty cemetery, a boy in a black suit kneels next to a tombstone, hands shaking as they gingerly set down a small, golden ring on the grave marker. Pulling out his wand, he whispers a spell and enchants the beautiful golden band to stay there for as long as the world exists.

Draco closes his eyes, inhales through his nose, exhales through his mouth.

And then he leaves. 

Just like that.

[aubreyprc]

good for you

part five of my sour series

follow up to traitor

request by @emilyprsntiss who wanted a second part to traitor surrounding the lyrics below<3

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me

If you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby

God, I wish that I could do that

ao3

-

Their lives take different turns the moment she walks away from him on that rainy night in December, watching him walk away, his fiancé wrapped in his arms as their laughs attack her ears.

Emily goes back to Yale, continues down the self destructive path she was on before she even met Aaron, yet this time carries with her memories of what could have been and a broken heart she isn’t sure will ever mend. She spends her days wrapped up in her covers, engulfed in the darkness of her bedroom nursing both a hangover and a shattered heart. She spends her afternoons forcing herself to go to class, just to sit in the back row and let her mind wander back to the summer, to him. Then spends her nights doing her best to forget, a string of drinks she doesn’t pay for and names she won’t remember following behind her. And while Emily struggles to put herself back together in the wake of loving and loosing the only man she tells herself she will ever let herself feel for so strongly for again, Aaron moves in with Haley, into a home she declares their family home and he smiles, kisses her on the doorstep and laughs when she pulls him through the door all while pretends he doesn’t feel as though a part of himself is missing.

While Aaron gets married, his heart so full of love and joy while he and his new wife share their vows, while they have their first dance, his happiness overflowing in his chest as they spend their first night together as husband and wife, Emily is recruited into the CIA, her expertise in linguists catching their eye as they look for someone to take the last place in their plan to catch The Valhalla.

While Aaron gets his job at the FBI, heads out of the city for his first case with a smile on his face, Emily joins a task force, meets her new team and learns of an international terrorist group who they plan to catch.

When Aaron takes over as Unit Chief, shaking the hands of Erin Strauss as she explains the responsibility that comes with the job, Emily smiles as she takes the hand of Ian Doyle, french words falling off her tongue with ease as she introduces herself as Lauren.

While Aaron kisses the happy smile on Haley’s face, his own smiling poking through as he places his hand on her still flat stomach, the words I’m pregnant still ringing in his ears, Emily stands on the balcony of a house in Tuscany, smiling when arms wrap around her waist and lips kiss her neck as she tells herself that she isn’t in love with him and tries to ignore the flashes of a life she once had, when she was just Emily, a summer that feels like a lifetime ago when soft hands were on her body instead of rough ones, when her name was whispered into her ear instead of Lauren in the dead of the night. When she wasn’t in too deep with a terrorist who could and would kill her without a second thought if she makes one mistake. She finds herself missing Emily, the naïve girl who just wanted to love and be loved but was too scared to accept it.

While Jack makes his entrance known with a high pitched cry, while Aaron kisses his wife’s head as they see their son for the first time, when a little hand wraps around his finger and his heart burst with so much love he thinks it could kill him, Emily is pushed into the back of a car and drove out of town, before she is met with Clyde and the words Its over start being said to her repeatedly before she nods, walking straight past them and towards the hotel room, ignoring the calls of her name. The calls of Emily, she doesn’t know it she’s ignoring them because she can’t talk to them or if she’s ignoring them because that name their shouting is foreign to her now, two years of being called Lauren programmed into her brain. It turns out to be the latter when she’s put into mandatory therapy and they call her name four times before Tsia taps her shoulder, signalling that it was her they were calling, the beckons of Emily landing on deaf ears.

While Aaron soothes his son to sleep, whispering soft words as he cradles the new born in his arms, Emily dyes her hair back to black, cuts it short and forces herself to remember Emily, but she’s looking in the mirror and hating the woman staring back, feeling a stranger in her own skin.

While Aaron watches Elle walk out of the BAU for the last time, Emily forces herself to not react when Erin Strauss offers her a job in the unit, trying her best to not make it obvious that she flinches every time the words Agent Hotchner fall from her mouth. She shakes the woman’s hand, accepting the offer to start the following week and heads out of the office, walking straight past Aaron, neither catching the others eyes as they stare at the floor, missing each other completely.

Seeing her again takes the air out of his lungs as he stands up, a whisper of her name leaving his lips as she stands in front of him, he holds out his hand for her to take and as she does his whole body sets on fire, catching her eyes for the first time in ten years as a small smile rests on her face. His heart hammers in his chest as he looks through the paperwork, confusion written all over his face as he realises she was in fact part of the BAU despite the fact he wasn’t made aware of it and yet still, the thought of being around her everyday made it almost hard to breath, so he ignores the hurt look on her face, apologies and leaves the room, the feeling of her eyes on his back making his skin crawl as he clenches his fist, the feeling of her skin burnt into his.

Listening to her profile their latest killer has him beaming with pride, even as he held a stoic face, proud that after all these years she really had made something of herself, just like he knew she always would and he couldn’t help but be more proud of her. He wonders how she got to where she was, how she knows what she knows after being in counter terrorism for so long but he lets it go, accepting her into the unit and watching with hesitation as she heads off with Gideon and Reid.

They don’t talk about their past, they don’t act like they know each other and they certainly don’t act like they were once in love. They act like strangers because they have to. Because it’s easier. Because he’s married and he can’t allow himself to think about her like that again, about their summer ten years ago or about how deep she rests in his heart even though he pretends she doesn’t. She can’t let herself remember how in love with him she once was, scared that she’ll fall right back into it, knowing all too well that she never truly got over him. Over them.

She watches with a heavy heart, swallowing the lump in her throat and exhaling a shaky breath when he walks in, Haley’s hand wrapped in his as she smiles up at him, the two of them laughing at something and she looks away from when just as quick as she sees them, clearing her throat and grabbing her glass, tensing her body when she feel Haley take a seat next to her, fakes a smile when she holds her hand out and shakes it, trying to slow down her heart with slow breathes as the organ beats rapidly against her lungs.

“Haley.” The blonde woman introduces, and it takes all of Emily to smile and not bite I know at her.

“Emily,” She replies, “Nice too meet you.”

“You look familiar….Have we met?” Haley asks her innocently and she sees Aaron clench his fists, can feel his eyes burning into hers as she smiles at Haley. She could easily explain. Easily say yes, we have, Aaron was dating me when he started seeing you. She could, and ten years ago she would have, but instead, she shakes her head.

“No, I don’t think so.” Emily smiles, “I must have one of those faces.”

She sees Aaron visibly react, a sigh of relief falling from his chest as he grabs his drink, placing a hand on the back of Haley’s back before he meets her eyes, a thank you written in them and she nods, looking away and turning to Penelope, laughing as the woman discusses Morgan, grateful for the distraction.

She’s standing at the bar, sipping her wine as she watches Aaron and Haley, glaring at them as they smile, before quickly shifting her eyes from them as he looks in her direction. She feels him walking towards her before she hears him and once she’s stood next to her, she closes her eyes, shaking her head.

“I’m not doing this.” She tells him, “I’ve left you alone, I told Haley what she needed to hear and…I’m not doing this.”

“We need to talk, Emily. We can act like strangers forever.”

“But we are aren’t we?” She questions, looking at him, “Strangers?”

“No.” He tells her, “You could never been a stranger me.”

“Aaron,” She sighs, closing her eyes as she looks to the floor. “I’ve left you alone, I’ve been professional and-”

“I know.” He says, “But sooner or later we are going to have to talk about us. About what happened. You can’t hate me forever. Not if we’re going to work together.”

“I don’t hate you.” She whispers, looking at him sadly, “I hate what you did, but I don’t hate you.”

He’s silent, looking right back at her, before he smiles.

“Please can we talk?"

“What’s there to talk about?” She questions, and he sighs. Emily looks to the floor and shakes her head.

“Us, our past, what happened- We need to talk about this."

“What do you want want me, Aaron?” She asks, “A congratulations? A Good for you?” She laughs, “Good for you, Aaron, you got everything you wanted, but what about me? I don’t want to talk about it. I was the one who got left with nothing and I was the one who got their heart broken so no, we can’t talk.”

“Emily-”

“You got married. You started a family.” She tells him, lifting her head “And that’s great, it’s what you wanted.” She smiles, “You’re happy and that’s all I want for you, but…please. Please don’t ask me to talk about it, or us or about what we had. It was ten years ago, you’ve moved on and I’ve-” She stops, laughing, “I wanted this job, Aaron. I got offered this job and I couldn’t turn it down, but…you were never supposed to be in my life again, you were supposed to be the person I bitch about with friends and continue to hate for what you did to me for the rest of my life, but I don’t get that now. Instead I get to watch you smile at your wife and listen to you talk about your son all day everyday and it’s hell, it’s hell but I do it, I do it because I have to, so, I’m asking, no, I’m begging you to let me be.” She says, tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she looks at him, “I don’t want to talk to you about us or about anything that isn’t work related and I certainly don’t want to sit next to the woman you cheated on me with and I do not want to hear about how great your life is. Okay?” She sighs, a weight lifted of her shoulders as she finally lets out everything she’s held in for the last month.

He clears his throat, holding back his own tears as he nods.

“Okay,” He accepts, “I am sorry, Emily. For everything. If I could change it-”

“Don’t say something you don’t mean, Hotch.” She smiles sadly, the sound of his shorted last name coming from her mouth feeling like a stab to the chest, “I can’t do this with you right now. Do you know how much I wish that this didn’t bother me?” She laughs, “How much I wish I could do what you did and just move on and act like we never happened?”

“I never-”

“Stop.” She tells him, “Just stop.” She looks around the bar, noticing how Haley was watching them before looking away as she caught Emily’s eye.

“It won’t be like this forever. And maybe we can be friends but just not right now. I cant do this with you right now.”

“Okay.” He smiles, “I’ll leave you be.”

“Thank you.” She sighs, “You’re wife is looking at us, maybe you should…”

“Yeah…” He whispers, before smiling at her, before watching her turn and walk off.

With a deep breath, he shakes off his feelings and heads back to his wife, kissing her on the head as she smiles.

“You and Emily seem close.”

“I worked for her mother, back when I first started in the FBI.”

“She’s the woman from the Christmas party?” Haley asks, lacing her fingers through his.

“Hm?” He questions, and she shakes her head, smiling.

“Nothing,” She lies, before turning to look at Emily, her mind flashing back to the young dark haired woman who’d stormed past her all those years ago.

fin

[surveysonfleek]

1619.

What do you do with your plastic grocery bags after you unload your things? save them and reuse them

Are you afraid of being electrocuted? not something i’ve really thought about but yeahhhh that would hurt haha

Have you ever slept in a water bed? no :( i’ve alwaysss wanted one as a kid and obviously never got it. are they even a thing anymore?

What do you think about Britney Spears comeback? good on her! i’m glad she’s finally free. not sure about a music ‘comeback’ though

Ever bite your tongue twice in a row while eating something? not twice

Do you cook your own meals or do your parents? both

Did you sleep in or wake up early today? i woke up 2 minutes before my alarm went off

How do you feel about having sex during your menstrual period? i prefer not to tbh

How do you feel about anal sex? never say never but i dont think im interested

Does your ex have a job? i dont know anyone personally thats an adult that doesnt. no one can afford to not have a job when youre living in a city like sydney

Have you ever slept in a car? yes

Do you think the drinking age should be lowered to 18? its already 18 here

What was the last term of endearment you used (babe, hun, dear, etc)? love

What were you doing the last time you were in the bathroom? peeing

Without naming any names, say something to somebody. stop complaning

How often do you use Flickr? never. i did back in the day when tumblr was more popular

Have you ever peed while on the phone? yeah

Have you ever been on a blind date? no

Do you have a crush on the last person you texted? hes my fiance. more than a crush

Have you ever got into an argument with the last person you kissed? yes

Has anyone made you cry in the last 3 days? no

Have you ever liked somebody who was nice to you, but horrible to everyone else? haha nope

Share 3 nice memories you have of the person you fell hardest for. the day he proposed. such a funny feeling, it sorta gave us a spark that we hadnt felt in a loooong long time. our first trip alone together which was in san francisco. still one of my favourite cities of all time. it’ll be 10 years this year which is crazy :( any time we visit our land together. hoping we can have a house built and move in by the end of this year.

What did you do yesterday? worked

Choose 5 friends, and briefly describe their relationship status. the five people i thought of are all taken except one

Have you ever made any of your friends cry? i dont think i have actually! 

Does anyone disgust you? no

Is there anything about your life at the moment that you’d like to change? only one thing and thats my diet and exercise. iim such a lazy ass

Do you regret anything you’ve done in the last 7 days? nope

Do you keep a diary? And if you do, has anyone ever read it? no

What would you do about someone who was sending you mixed messages? id find a time to speak to them one on one and ask them straight up whats going on

What are the 3 unhealthiest things you’ve eaten most recently? chips, soda and ritz

How’s your appetite atm? full

Is anything annoying you at the moment? yeah. i have some wax melts on and it smells amazing but now its too overwhelming and giving me a headache

Out of all the conversations you’ve had recently, which one has made you smile or laugh the most? i was talking to my workmates today, our workplace does id tags which lists our favourite food and movie and we were going through everyones, it was hilarious.

Describe the last situation in which you found yourself feeling awkward. meh everyday

What makes someone a good friend? at this point in my life everyones really busy. i love my friends who i dont have to speak to everyday but the love is still there when we catch up. and its also a two way street, its not always me or them reaching out

Do you look decent in your most recent photograph? haha no

When was the last time you wanted to laugh, but felt like you couldn’t? i forgot haha

If they decided to stop making chocolate tomorrow, would you care? it would be a shock but id stock up and get over it

What’s your relationship with the last person who put their arms around you? my fiance

What were you doing at 4 o'clock this afternoon? showering

What will you be doing in 30 mins? tiktok probably

Was today better than yesterday? it was kinda the same tbh. today is better because its nearly the weekend (i queue my posts)

Will tomorrow be better than today? sure will be! friyay!

[keichan]

Running Through the Night Tsukishima x fem!reader Part 10: It’s a Forever Thing

You and Tsukishima have been friends for as long as you two could remember. With a very unexpected confession, how will this affect you two?

Authors note: It’s been a pleasure writing this story for you guys, with it being my first on this sight, I’m very proud of it

Check out my new SMAU written by me  @pipsqweaks​ TANAKA INK’D SMAU

Word count: 1876

Genre: college au, unrequited love, angst, best friends to lovers, fluff somewhere in there, mutual pining

Warnings: manga time skip!!! FLUFFFFFF,, swearing

Please follow me to keep up with my upcoming projects! I’m now accepting requests for headcannons and drabbles!

masterlist・previous・next

“Honestly I think you should wear that shirt that Hinata got you from, Rio! It’s super cute!”

“Fuck off.”

“I’m being completely serious. I think it’ll really show him your support at the match tonight.”

“I’m taking Hiro for a walk if you’re gonna keep acting like this.” With a sigh Kei placed a leash onto the dog's collar and waved goodbye before leaving the house. Worth a shot.

You and Kei walked into Sendai City gymnasium hand in hand with Yamaguchi in tow. 

“Tsukki! I’m gonna go get food, do you want anything?”

“Yeah, just grab Y/N and I whatever looks good.”

“Okay!”

The two of you made way to your seats in the stadium. It was packed to the brim. It was the beginning of the season and a lot of fans usually came out to support the Adelers and Jackals specifically. 

Kei let go of your hand to begin flipping through the pamphlet of the players today. He looked tense as usual. If you were being honest, you couldn’t tell if he wanted either Hinata or Kageyama to win the match.

“Tsukki! I got them! And it was Osamu from the Miya twins, isn’t that amazing? Anyways, do you want a beer? I saw a vender walking the isles.” Yamaguchi waved with Yachi standing closely behind him. 

Without looking up Kei retorted. “No, I only drink kahlūa and milk. And I refuse to drink with anyone who doesn’t appreciate kahlūa and milk.” 

Yamaguchi and Yachi stood up slightly straighter and the three of you all gave each other a knowing look before you elbowed Kei in the ribs.

“What was that for?”

“You could’ve just said no thank you.”

“What’s the fun in that?” He smiled before leaning over to kiss your forehead. 

You shrugged before waving the two over to sit by the two of you.

“Be kind.”

Your heart swelled with joy to see the Jackals had won the game. Hinata finally was able to claim his victory over Kageyama. You impatiently dragged Kei down to the court to meet him and Kageyama and other players that the two of you have gotten to meet in your high school years. 

“Slow down. I don’t see what the fuss is about, we’ll see them regardless.” Kei muttered under his breath. You gave him a quick pout over your shoulder making him roll his eyes. He interlaced his fingers with yours and held you back for the crowds to pass. 

“OH MY GOD IS THAT Y/N????”

Immediately a sweaty man's arms wrapped around you and pulled you away from Kei. Your eyesight was immediately clouded with orange hair. You immediately hug him back as he teeters you back and forth on your heels. 

You hold him out at arms width.

“Hinata!!! You did so good! I can’t believe you trained yourself to be a leftie! That was the best game I’ve ever seen!”

Hinata flashed you a vibrant smile before peering over your shoulder to see Kei, Yamaguchi, and Yachi. With one arm still on your shoulder, he used his other hand to wave hello.

“Great, now it’s like I have to burn my girlfriend alive since you got all over her. Also I’m pretty sure my games are much better than his, sweetheart.” Kei chided, scowling at Hinata. His eyes widened as he chuckled nervously. 

“Don’t worry about him, Hinata.” You patted his hair down with a warm smile. 

As your hand fell down to your side, Hinata’s eyes followed the gold band on your finger. 

“YOU TWO GOT MARRIED?”

“No dipshit, I proposed to her.”

Everyone around you gasped. You waved your hand in front of your face laughing lightly. “Kei and I were planning to announce it here since we knew everyone would be coming here today.” You held your left hand up to your face for your friends to see. 

Everyone leaned in towards your hand with their mouths agape. You couldn’t see him, but you knew Kei was standing behind you with a proud smirk on his face. It was definitely getting to his head. 

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

The five of you turned to the side to see Kageyama striding over.

“She actually agreed to marry you? Who would’ve thought.” Kageyama forced out a very unnatural laugh. 

“Kageyama I don’t think that came out as funny as you thought it would. And actually, everyone kinda did. Since our first year of high school. Yanno? All three years it was kind of a will they, won’t they situation.” Hinata’s hands were up in front of his chest facing Kageyama. 

“Shut up, dumbass!”

Kei came up behind you placing both hands on each of your shoulders before turning his head to Kageyama. 

“My, my. I just think the King is jealous that I get to marry the love of my life, while he gets to stay married to volleyball. When was the last time you had an actual-“

“Shut the hell-“

Everyone besides Kageyama burst into fits of laughter, causing his speech to blur to a stop. Placing your hands on top of Kei’s, you turned to the black-haired setter. 

“Some things never really do change from high school, do they?”

You look up to meet Kei’s eyes. As soon as he sees you his face softens. You give him a soft nod signaling that he doesn’t have to push Kageyama anymore and he smiles in return.  

“I hate it when you two do that thing, it’s weird.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s cute.” Hinata mumbled to himself. 

“Shut up, dumbass.”

It wasn’t long before the other alumni from Karasuno met on the court. 

You, Kiyoko, Tanaka, and Yachi shied away to sit in the bleachers to tell them about the engagement while Kei was able to catch up with everyone he knew on the court. 

“So basically when Kei and I were little, there was this park by the river that we’d like to go to after school everyday. It was on the edge of our neighborhood so it wasn’t super far away or anything. It was when the leaves began to fall he wanted to go on a walk out there. We hadn’t been in years. He led me to this little candle-lit picnic- plastic candles though, believe it or not he was scared shitless of accidentally burning anything. Apparently him and Yamaguchi set it up a little while earlier…”

“Baby what’s all of this?”

“Can I not celebrate how much I love you from time to time?” Heat rose to your face before you waved him away.

“I guess so.”

“Good because I have all of your favorites right here, angel. Plus we’ve been so busy with work and school I haven’t had the proper chance to treat you.”

You sat beside Kei as he began to sort through the basket. He pulled out a bottle of wine and two cups. He poured you both a glass and the two of you slowly sipped on it as the sun began to dip behind the river.

“I know I say this a lot, but I’m forever grateful that I get to be by your side everyday.” Kei used his index finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, eyes straight ahead.

“I know, baby. I love living life with you.”

“I think this’ll be super romantic if we slow danced right now.” Kei stood to his feet, extending his right hand out to you. You took it as he pulled you to his chest. Your hands reached around his neck and your noses brushed each other. He turns his head to place a chaste kiss on your lips before grinning down at you.

“You make me the happiest man alive. I’m so grateful that my best friend is the love of my life.” You play with the hair at the nape of his neck as you smile. “Sorry it took me so long to come around. We could’ve had each other for much longer than this.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little mind over it.”

“I have no worries when I’m with you.”

Your hands gently grip around his shirt collar to pull him in for another kiss. Long and sweet. Your lips move along in perfect harmony as he holds you by your waist. He pulls away, barely an inch from your face. 

“L/N F/N, I-“

“Oh my- Kei are you okay?” You jolted at your name, he hadn’t said it in so long. He places a large hand over your mouth.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to raise a family with you, not a dog family with Hiro, but have actual kiddos. I want to wake up next to you every morning of my life. I want to fall asleep next to you every night. I want to be the reason you smile and be your comfort whenever you fall. I know that we’re both seniors in college right now, but next year I have a job lined up as Curator and the Sendai Museum. I haven’t told you yet, but I know I can support us. You’re about to get your dream job as well.” His hands travel down to yours before taking a step back. 

Kei lowers himself onto one knee before fumbling with his front pocket to pull out a small ring box. 

“Will you marry me? I promise to treasure you for the rest of our lives.”

Tears began to swell in your eyes as you began to nod quickly. You quickly rushed over to him hugging his neck smothering his face in kisses (and tears). 

“Yes, Kei!”

You finally wipe away your blurry vision to be greeted by him smiling, he was on the brink of tears himself. He offered the warmest, most compassionate smile you’ve ever seen from him in all the years you’ve known him. Your heart glowed because you knew this wouldn’t be the last time you’d see him like this. Your life was just now beginning. Kei quietly slipped the ring onto your finger before rushing up to grab your face with his hands. He gave you baby pecks on your lips. Each time he pulled away to look at you, his smile widened as if he couldn’t believe that you were there in front of him. 

“Thank you, my love”

“I’ve gotta say, if I’m being honest, I didn’t really think Tsukishima had a romantic bone in his body.” Tanaka chuckled to himself. Kiyoko pushed his shoulder gently. 

“Tsukishima has always had a soft spot for Y/N, he’d run to the ends of the Earth for her, Ryu.”

“So like me?”

The conversation between your friends blurred into background noise as you caught Kei’s eyes. He was with Bokuto, Kuroo, and Daichi. They were grabbing on his shoulder and laughing about something. 

Kei gave you a warm smile and held his thumbs up. You returned the gesture. He mouthed a very small “I love you” before returning back to his conversation. His smile continued to glow across the room. You smiled looking down at the ring that adorned your finger. 

A forever. 

taglist: @pipsqweaks | @pperapear | @wakayetoshi | @luvmonie | @bumbledunce | @a-listaire | @ysasian​ | @kodzu-ken | @montys-chaos @setterfish | @cece-lives-here | @totorosleaff​ | @sailorscout1902​ | @goopycookie

[chasing-classics]

Welcome to the Slaughterhouse (3/3) Miguel x Reader x Angel

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Reader x Miguel Galindo

 Warning(s): mentions of domestic violence and sexual assault, angst, language, SMUT. If any of these trigger you, please don’t read.

 Summary: In the final installment you deal with the aftermath of the dinner and the truth is finally revealed.

PART 1 , PART 2

 ‘’Mrs. Galindo. . .do you need a moment?’’

 You looked up at Agent Potter, your lips pulled in a thin line as he gazed back you with an obviously fake smile. His smile reminded you of Miguel’s, it was the same smile Miguel wore constantly to appear polite. In reality it was the smile of a snake in the grass or a wolf among the flock.

 ‘’I’m fine,’’ your eyes narrowed as you offered a faux smile of your own.

 ‘’Great,’’ Potter clasped his hands together as he took his seat across the table from you. You instantly sat up straight, hands folded together on the table. You noticed Potter eyeing your wedding ring for a brief second before his attention returned to you.

 ‘’Shall we begin?’’

 ‘’We shall.’’

 ‘’Can you tell me who killed your husband, Miguel Galindo?’’

 ~~~~~~~Three hours earlier~~~~~~~

 You felt your body tremble as you stared at the body of your husband. It was a sight you had often thought about, but at the same time you never truly wanted to happen. As much as you hated him for the vile things he did to you and the cruel things he would hiss at you while he was beating the shit out of you or using your body for his own selfish desires, you never wanted it to come to this. There had been a time where you would’ve moved Heaven and Earth for Miguel, and he would’ve done the same for you. The beginning was completely different.

 ‘’Miguel,’’ you laughed, your boyfriend wrapping his strong arms around you and pulling you back into your shared bed.

 ‘’Five more minutes, mi amor,’’ his voice was groggy from barely waking up, but you could tell he was grinning as he peppered kisses across your shoulder.

 You shifted to face him, gazing down at his handsome face. He smiled right back at you.

 ‘’Marry me,’’ he whispered. Your jaw fell slack. ‘’That’s not funny, Mikey,’’ you chastised, the heat rising to your cheeks as you stared at this absolutely perfect man. He sat up and you couldn’t help but stare at his bare chest. The sweetest smile was on his face as he turned to his nightstand and pulled out a small velvet box.

 ‘’Miguel?’’ you gasped as he opened the box.

 ‘’I love you, y/n. And I don’t want to spend another day without you sharing my last name and seeing this on your finger. I want to grow old with you, watch our children and grandchildren run around and grow up. I want you to be completely, fully, unconditionally mine. Will you marry me?’’

 ‘’Y/n?’’ Nestor’s voice brought you out of your memories, looking away from Miguel’s body as Nestor handed you a handkerchief to wipe the blood off the side of your face. You took it and nodded your thanks before turning to Adelita.

 ‘’You should go, they’ll be here any second,’’ you warned.

 She nodded, and you held out your hand to her. She clasped it and offered a small, sympathetic smile. She looked at Angel, who was still clearly in shock. Like a phantom, she took her men and retreated from the house into the wine cellar.

Your eyes then fell on Angel, who shakily took a step towards you before encompassing you in a warm embrace.

 ‘’What did you do, querida?’’

 ‘’What I had to.’’

 ~~~~~~~~~~Six Months Ago~~~~~~~~~~

 You whimpered as you limped through the tunnels, the soreness between your legs a familiar feeling that you’ve grown accustomed to in your marriage with Miguel. The blanket that war thrown over you protected you from the night wind as well as anyone whose allegiance was to your husband. Nestor was currently with Miguel, keeping him occupied. You knew your mission and you were well aware of what was at stake. With every step you took your prayers grew, begging any guardian angel or divine deity that your plan would work. By the time you reached your destination Adelita and Bishop were already standing.

 ‘’What the hell is she doing here?’’ Bishop visibly tensed up, Tranq and Taza in the background lowered their arms; hands near their holsters.

 You immediately lifted your arms, showing that you meant no harm.

 ‘’She’s with me,’’ Adelita answered, her eyes reminding you of a rattlesnake; ready to strike if provoked.

 ‘’I came because I need your help,’’ you mustered as much courage as you possibly could.

 The men visibly relaxed albeit not much. You couldn’t blame them, here was the wife of their employer and enemy. Miguel was a very powerful man who was not above using violence to get his way. They had every reason to distrust you.

 ‘’Obispo,’’ a gruff voice called out among the shadows.

 When Alvarez made his presence known Bishop’s mouth opened in both shock and confusion. The former patriarch of the Mayans stood by your side, offering a comforting hand on your shoulder. You nodded your thanks to him before you both looked at Bishop.

 ‘’Now can we talk?’’

 The four of you sat at the Mayans’ Templo, each of you tense with uneasiness. The silence was thick and heavy and you knew they were waiting for an explanation.

 ‘’As you know, Miguel is a powerful man. He is a violent man. I know he takes advantage of his influence over your club,’’ you began.

‘’For as long as I’ve known Miguel he has craved power. Power over the cartel. Power over the club, the rebels. Power over me. Everyday for the last two years he has beaten me, raped me, threatened my very life, and has tried breaking me in every sense of the word,’’ you couldn’t help the quiver in your voice as countless nights of abuse replayed themselves in your head.

Bishop shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but the sympathetic look in his eyes was beginning to show.

‘’You’re a very smart man, Bishop. You know about Angel,’’ the way Adelita averted her eyes at the mention of his name filled you with jealousy for a split second before it evaporated.

 ‘’You’re going to get us all killed,’’ Bishop sighed.

 ‘’Primo, hear her out,’’ Alvarez’s strong voice filled you with the encouragement to continue you so desperately needed.

 ‘’We all have a common enemy,’’ you pointed out.

 ‘’We made a deal with your husband, Mrs. Galindo,’’ Bishop all-but spat out your marital name.

 ‘’An unfair deal,’’ Adelita cut him off, voice sharp. His gaze was redirected as the Rebel Queen.

 ‘’Y/n came to me shortly before the deal with Galindo was made. I’ve seen her scars, her bruises. I’ve seen the mark of the devil on her skin. He is vile, and he deserves to pay. Not just for her, but for every orphan whose parents were taken away by the cartel. For every widow, every mother whose child is buried in a grave due to the cartel. For the father and son who were burnt to a crisp due to his rage. I want vengeance. Galindo gave me Devante’s head, now I want his life,’’ Adelita’s stone cold voice sent shivers down your spine.

 After a moment or two of silence, Bishop sighed, ‘’Galindo has too many allies that will seek retribution against the club. I’m not endangering my men just so you two can settle the score with him.’’

 You shook your head. ‘’You’re wrong. Miguel has more enemies than allies, believe me. And you won’t be doing the killing. All I’m asking for is compliance. All I want is not to live in fear anymore. Nothing touches the club, nothing will touch Adelita.’’

 ‘’This is our chance to right his wrongs, primo. I’ve seen what he’s done. We’ve seen it. I took this position believing I could prevent him from becoming his father, but I was wrong; he’s much worse. He won’t stop until he’s dead,’’ Alvarez stared somberly at Bishop.

 Bishop sighed, rubbing his temple as he mulled over his options. His eyes met yours’.

 ‘’What about the cops? You think they’ll just turn the other cheek when they find his body and no murderer?’’

 ‘’Los Olvidados,’’ Adeltia began, ‘’will be taking the fall, but thanks to y/n and the Galindo’s resources, the FBI will not be able to track us. It’ll be all smoke and mirrors.’’

 ‘’What about Oceteva?’’ Bishop pointed out.

 ‘’Nestor is aware of my plan. He’s willing to be complicit. Nestor’s brother’s death wasn’t an accident. Miguel had him shot after he got wind that Nestor’s brother was planning to rat on the cartel. His body is currently in an unmarked grave.’’

 Bishop and Adelita’s eyes widened but they resumed their stoic statures. They shared a quick look with each other, to which Adelita nodded. Bishop glanced at Alvarez and you were able to breathe easier when you saw the resignation on the president’s face. He looked straight at you.

 ‘’Angel cannot know about this. Until this shit settles, you two act like normal. The less people involved in this; the better.’’

 ‘’They came out of nowhere. I believe they’re called Los Olvidados. My husband kept his business extremely private. But I remember him mentioning them. One minute we were having dinner with the Mayans, to discuss a potential partnership to take down the rebels, but before Miguel could mention anything. . .he was shot,’’ you tried your best to play the role of the grieving widow, and you were convinced you had done a decent job by the way Potter wasn’t immediately calling you out on your bullshit.

 ‘’Why did they not kill the rest of you?’’ Potter questioned, forehead crinkled in thought.

 ‘’I told you, it was only two or three of them, by the time the first shot was fired my husband’s security and the Mayans were ready to fight back. They came, shot my husband, and fled. I don’t know anything else other than my husband is dead and you’re sitting here like this is a game of cat and mouse,’’ you hissed.

 ‘’Oh Mrs. Galindo, or rather Ms. y/l/n now, I understand you have had a terrible loss. Losing a spouse is traumatic, but to have it happen right in front of you. . .’’ Potter abruptly stood, circling the room like a vulture with a bad hairdo.

 ‘’You are welcome to search my house if you’d like,’’ you steadied your voice.

 ‘’We already have my dear. Nothing. All we found was the tunnel that they used to enter your humble abode and that led us to the middle of nowhere. Strange isn’t it?’’ his voice sent chills down the back of your neck but you kept your face stoic. You couldn’t afford to screw this up when you had come this far.

 ‘’You’re free to go,’’ Potter stated after what felt like an eternity of silence. You suppressed the sigh of relief you so desperately wanted to take and stood up, walking calmly to the door.

 ‘’Oh wait. I do believe congratulations are in order,’’ Potter’s eerily cheerful voice made you stop dead in your tracks, the doorknob barely skimming your fingertips. You slowly turned to face him once more to find him holding a manila folder and sliding it across the table. You didn’t dare reach for it. You held eye contact and steadied yourself for whatever he was about to say.

 ‘’It appears you are nearly three-and-a-half months pregnant,’’ he smiled that sly fox smile of his as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You gulped and quickly turned the door handle and rushed out of the building. It wasn’t until you met Nestor, dutifully waiting by the limo that you burst into tears as he held you.

‘’It’s over, y/n,’’ he comforted you. You shook your head violently.

 ‘’I’m pregnant, Nestor,’’ you sobbed, suddenly feeling very nauseous. There had been a few days where you had forgotten to take your birth control, and the timeline was so twisted and uncertain that there was no definite answer to who was the father of your child. Nestor just held you.

 It had to have been early morning by the time you made it back to the house. Thankfully, Miguel’s body had been taken and although the house was in disarray from the FBI’s probing, you were grateful that you couldn’t make out where the blood stains were unless you truly stared long enough. You felt exhausted in every sense of the word as you slowly made your way to the staircase.

‘’He’s waiting for you,’’ Nestor’s voice rang out, making you pause. You sighed, feeling the tears already beginning to form once again. How could you tell him that you were pregnant? That there was a possibility the baby you were carrying wasn’t his, but that of your abusive husband’s? His half-brother. A child that was possibly conceived through rape. You felt like you were floating up the stairs, and before you knew it there was Angel waiting for you in the master bedroom. His eyes searched yours, looking to see if you were hurt. You let out a little breath and that was all it took before he dashed to you and held you against his chest while you sobbed.

 ‘’Shhh, mi amor. It’s ok I’m right here, I’m here,’’ he whispered while stroking your head.

 ‘’I think we should start trying,’’ Miguel stated as you both laid in bed, you curled up against him after making love.

 ‘’Really?’’ you whispered as you listened to the sound of his heartbeat thrumming within his chest.

 ‘’Why not?’’ Miguel grinned, looking down at you. ‘’You’re the love of my life, the woman I plan on marrying. A baby wouldn’t be the worst thing would it?’’

 You stayed quiet for a few seconds. You couldn’t help but think that Miguel was always the one to make the big decisions. Marriage, kids, what would be next? He had already snapped a few times at you, but you chalked it up to whatever family business he often referred to. Coupled with his mother’s untimely death a month ago, you could understand why your fiancé would be under pressure. Although his temper scared you, you loved him and believed things would only get better in time. You always wanted a family and to become the mother you never had growing up. While you often thought about a tall, dark-haired Casanova on a motorcycle, you loved Miguel. A baby wouldn’t be the end of the world, it would be a new start.

 ‘’I’ve always hated this room,’’ you sniffled, slowly walking around the much too large bedroom. Every inch of the room held a memory you desperately wished you could forget. Countless nights of screaming, crying, anger, and despair circulated within the room. Angel sat at the foot of the bed, carefully watching you and allowing you the space you needed to come to terms with the night’s events. Even he was exhausted, he knew your head had to be spinning right now. You picked up the picture of you and Miguel on your wedding day. You didn’t even recognize the girl in the white dress anymore. So naïve, so full of hope and love. You wished you could tell her to run as fast as she could before it all went to shit. Your knuckles turned white as you cleaned the picture frame.

 SMASH!

 You let out a howl of anguish as you chucked the picture against the opposite wall. Angel jumped up, startled. You tore at the velvet curtains until they were ripped off the rod. You picked up the bottles of perfume and cologne that were on the vanity and smashed them to the tiled floor. The smell of expensive, foreign perfume filled your senses as you totaled the room. The vase of flowers that Miguel had just bought you days ago was smashed to smithereens. Every shatter of glass, every shard of porcelain was lost as memories of him violating you and abusing you orbited your mind.

 ‘’Y/n,’’ Angel’s deep voice pulled you out of your rampage. The room was destroyed and finally matched the true image of what your marriage was really like. The veil was lifted, and here was what lied beneath it. You glanced at the wedding ring that was still on your finger. Before you could yank it off, Angel’s hand gently took hold of yours. You looked up at him, allowing him to slowly slide the ring off your finger and you winced at the clink it made as it was tossed to the ground. Angel held both of your cheeks in his hands, his forehead pressed against yours as your breathing evened out.

 ‘’I-I’m pregnant, Angel,’’ you whimpered, preparing yourself for his outburst. He stilled and you swallowed the sob that threatened to escape your lips.

 Angel’s lips crashed against yours, causing your eyes to snap back open. You weren’t sure if he heard you right, or maybe it hadn’t sunken in yet. When he pulled away your heart clenched as you struggled to piece together your words.

 ‘’Angel it might-,’’ you were hushed when he pressed another kiss to your lips. He pulled away once more and looked at you, tears threatening to spill from those beautiful chocolate brown eyes at any moment.

 ‘’Listen to me, alright? I love you so fucking much. I’d die for you, and I’d die for this baby. Because even if he isn’t mine, he’s yours’ and that’s all that fucking matters to me. You’re the best part of me, nena. You always have been. I’ll be damned if I lose you again. I can’t promise it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows and shit, but I promise I’m going to love you until they put me in the ground and even beyond that. I’m going to be there for you and this baby.’’

 Tears cascaded down your face, falling onto the floor as you crashed your lips onto Angel’s. The two of you backed up until you fell into the king-sized mattress. You tensed when you were able to still smell traces of Miguel, but you pulled your focus onto the man you had loved ever since you were a child. You hurriedly yanked off the elegant dress that you were still wearing, your body on full display for Angel to see. His eyes traced every curve of your body and his hand laid itself on your abdomen. The two of you undressed yourselves, too lost in each other to really give a shit about anything else. Miguel had taken away so much from you, but he was not going to take away this moment. This was your future. Angel was your future.

 The two of you rolled over as Angel kneeled before you. You instinctively spread your legs for him. It should’ve been illegal for him to look this good, hair slightly messed up as he kissed up your naked body in your marital bed. ‘’Angel please,’’ you gasped when he took one of your nipples into his mouth and hungrily suckled. His right hand toyed with the other as his other hand pinned your hips to the bed. You could feel the tip of his cock rubbing against your folds as you tried grinding against him.

 Your hands ran through his hair and scratched up his back while you threw your head back and moaned and whimpered Angel’s name.

 ‘’You’re so fucking beautiful,’’ his husky voice gave your butterflies that fluttered throughout your entire being.

 His kisses trailed up your neck, gently nipping and sucking on it while one of his hands crept towards your needy pussy. His thick fingers lazily rubbed at your clit and gathered some of your slickness before he shoved two of them into your tight opening. Your fingernails gently clawed at his shoulder blades, his knees preventing your legs from closing as he began fingering you.

 ‘’I’m going to make you cum on my hand before I make you milk my dick,’’ he groaned in your neck before nipping at your ear.

 You closed your eyes, your lips open as you panted from the way his fingers thrusted into you. The sounds emitting from the two of you were sinful and heavenly all at the same time. You clenched around him when he went knuckle-deep and hit that sweet spot inside of you. You began rocking your hips and tilting them upwards to meet his digits. Angel took the hint and bit down on your shoulder before adding a third finger and hammering away at you.

 ‘’A-Angel,’’ you whined, unable to do anything but moan and chant his name like prayer while he took control.

 ‘’Fuck nena, all wet and needy for me and I’ve barely started,’’ he smirked down at you before kissing your soft lips, swallowing your cries when he repeatedly hit your sweet spot. You tried telling him you were about to cum, but you were unable to do anything but cry out his name as your orgasm overcame you.

 He bit your sensitive nipple as he settled between your legs. He looked right at you, your blissful tears only fueling his desire for you as he took hold of his thick manhood and slowly traced your opening with the tip of his cock.

 ‘’Tell me you love me,’’ he whispered. And unlike the way it was with Miguel, there was no malice in his voice. Just primal, beautiful, sinful love.

‘’I love you,’’ you whispered and gasped when he shoved his entire length into you in one thrust, bottoming out and grunting your name. You wrapped your legs around his waist and held onto his shoulders as he began bucking into you, his balls slapping your pussy with every brutal thrust. The friction between the two of you made it difficult to suppress another orgasm. You whimpered when you felt him fill you up every time his cock speared you, your body nearly dragging along with his cock as he exited you. His nose brushed against yours as he pressed his forehead against you.

‘’Cum for me again,’’ he ordered and sped up his thrusts, your body bouncing underneath him in tune with his movements. ‘’Angel, papi,’’ you moaned out, your pussy clenching around his heavy cock. ‘’You’re fucking soaking querida,’’ he grunted as he grabbed your legs, pressing them against your chest so he could go deeper and harder.

‘’Angel!’’ you whined, cumming around his cock as you shook underneath him. It was all too much, the weight of him on top of you, the feeling of complete fullness as his dick repeated slammed into you. You were in a hot, thick wave of euphoria and you never wanted it to end as your fluids coated him, only allowing him to enter you faster. You barely felt Angel give you a kiss before he positioned you onto your side, lifting your leg up and resuming fucking into your sore but blissed out body.

‘’How does that feel amor?’’ Angel grunted, his hand brushing away your hair so he could see your face. His eyes watched as your breasts bounced, giving a few extra forceful ones just to watch your tits move with his thrusts. His gaze then traveled downward to the way his cock split you open, the way his dick disappeared in those tight folds of yours and the way your cum coated him. He was a lucky man.

‘’I-It’s too much Angel. I feel so f-full,’’ you whimpered, panting as he hid his face into your shoulder.

‘’I’m almost there nena, give me one more,’’ he growled out almost animalistically as his hips sped up, causing you to grip the sheets. While one hand toyed with your bouncing breasts the other began furiously rubbing at your clit. You clawed at the sheets, eyes closed in pure pleasure as you felt that familiar coil in your stomach.

‘’You look so fucking pretty taking my cock baby,’’ Angel moaned, kissing your cheek as his hand gently but firmly pressed against your stomach.

His filthy words is what did it for you, his name the only thing you could scream as you climaxed a third time, laying limp on the bed as he pounded into you like a madman. The grunt he released when he filled your tight sore pussy up, along with the way he gently pulled your hips closer to his so that every drop of his warm cum filled your womb was all you could focus on. Your eyes felt heavy as Angel remained inside of you, his cock twitching every now and then as his muscular arms encompassed you.

 ‘’I love you y/n,’’ he whispered behind you. The most genuine smile graced your lips as sleep slowly began taking you.

 ‘’I love you too, my Angel.’’

 You weren’t sure how long you had been able to sleep. Angel’s arms were still wrapped around you but he was no longer inside of you. You carefully maneuvered out of his embrace and managed to walk out onto the balcony, the silk robe that Miguel detested was loosely hanging off your body. He had said it made you look cheap, but you had always loved the robe. Miguel hated a lot of the things you loved. You were positive that Miguel would never completely leave your mind. You’d probably need therapy, and you weren’t naïve enough to believe that the trauma he had put you through would evaporate. You’d always remember him and the things he had done. The pain would wax and wane, and you would have to find a way to pick up the shattered pieces and create something beautiful out of it.

 You glanced down at your stomach, you hadn’t grown much but just knowing the life that was slowly blooming in you offered the tiniest bit of comfort. You wanted this. This was yours’, your choice. You finally had a choice. And you wanted this baby more than anything. You glanced back at Angel who was peacefully sleeping and smiled as the dawn steadily approached. It was not going to be easy. None of it would be. You’d have to deal with the aftermath. You’d have great days and horrible days. But Angel and the baby made up for it tenfold.

 ‘’A part of me will always be with you,’’ Miguel’s gruff voice caused you to shiver.

 ‘’You’re wrong. The memories will haunt me. But I already have the best part of you,’’ you replied. You could almost see the smirk on Miguel’s face.

 ‘’You sound strong, amor.’’ You nodded your head.

 ‘’I survived the slaughterhouse. I can survive anything that comes after.’’

 Miguel grinned, nodding his head as you stared out the balcony, noting the way the sun slowly spread along the mountain. Replacing the various shadows and fog with the warmth of the sun and illuminating the greenery. You nodded to yourself once more, hand pressed to your stomach as you slowly turned away to rejoin Angel where you knew his arms would be waiting to hold you once more before you braved the beginning of a new day.

 If I could let these thoughts drown And someday he might lose his crown In time these chains that hold me down would set me free Would set me free

[m-oana-archive]

A Love Too Heavy (For Just One To Hold)  pt. 1

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader x Remus Lupin

Words: 2,461 

Summary: After pining after Y/N for years, Sirius finally gets the girl: the happy ending the story is supposed to end with.  The only problem is the fact Sirius' feelings for Remus still haven't seemed to go away.  But he isn't the only one starting to question their ability to love two people at the same time.

requested by @shinysilverunicorn-blog​  | read on AO3 | Masterlist 

Sirius’ POV 

Spring was full and bright all around Hogwarts. The chirp of birds rhythmically punctuated the soft breezes that tossed up ponytails and rustled seeds off of daffodils. While most of the students in the courtyard were staring at all of these beauties of early April, Sirius was busy studying the light breathing of his girlfriend’s breathing while she slept, head resting on his leg.

Y/N was undeniably beautiful, even without the fascinating contrast of light and shadow passing over her face from the evermoving clouds in the sky. Sirius noticed it the first moment he saw her. Despite the crowd of students at the Sorting Ceremony and the grandeur of the Great Hall, the thing Sirius couldn’t keep his eyes off of was a girl who was sorted into Slytherin. It was enough to make him upset to have been sorted into Gryffindor; luckily, his new friends were rewarded enough for being covered in gold and red.

Hogwarts was just large enough that Sirius’ path never truly crossed with Y/N’s during first year, but just small enough that he’d see her across courtyards or libraries: a rude reawakening of his crush. He pushed it off, learning about his roommates instead; Peter had never been out of the country, Remus had a big appetite for chocolate, James really did need his glasses, Remus always put his right shoe on before his left, Peter talked in his sleep and James tossed and turned in his, Remus had read every book known to man, James loved puns, Remus liked sly remarks (and was good at making them), Peter preferred biking places, and Remus drank most everything out of his assortment of mugs.

It wasn’t until second year that Remus had class with Y/N: herbology. Never did he think he’d enjoy plants so much, but he entered the greenhouse skipping. While he was slow to break the house pride divide, when it was first demanded that the students find partners from another house “to learn how to cooperate with people that have different strengths,” Sirius was quick to find an open spot by Y/N’s side.

“Finally,” she said. “I’ve caught you staring at me before. I’ve been wondering if I resemble some second cousin of yours that got kicked out of the family for something.”

“No. You’re far too pretty to be mistaken for poor old Wilbur.”

She brushed off the compliment: “That sounds like a pig’s name.” But she was blushing.

“Why do you think he got kicked out? He was a pig!”

The grin that formed during the exchange lasted for the rest of the day.

“Mate, you better be careful,” James warned at dinner, the chicken dangling out of his mouth wildly contradicting his tone. “You don’t want to seem too eager.”

Sirius’ eyes darted from Y/N to James. “Me? Too eager? What, have I turned into a mirror?”

Peter sniggered; Remus shot a secret smile Sirius’ way, the one that meant good job, you amused me. “What’s that supposed to mean,” James whined.

“Have you seen yourself around you-know-who?”

“I thought we agreed to call her she-who-must-not-be-named. It’s much more mysterious.”

“We could call her by her name if you had the guts to go after her,” Remus added nonchalantly. Sirius looked at him to give him the same smile of appreciation Sirius had gotten but moments earlier.

“It’s my safety feature,” James said. “If I had balls, I’d be irresistible.”

Peter almost choked on his potatoes. Which were mashed.

“Well I do have balls,” Sirius argued. “So I am irresistible.”

And irresistible he was. Sirius wasn’t sure what exactly it was: the “don’t give two fucks” demeanor, the fact he was an extremely amateur electric guitarist, his perpetually unlaced combat boots, or the fact he had a naturally flirtatious personality (he even flirted with James and Peter for fun), but people batted eyelashes and bit lips and blushed up their necks. By year four, Sirius realized he could almost get anything by calling someone “love” or “darling” in the right way. Essays were written and proofread, reading was skimmed then recapped, Butterbeer was sent to tables free of charge. By year five, Sirius found that some first-years were betting on which of them could get Sirius to ask them out. By year six, it seemed as though Sirius had all of Hogwarts under his finger.

Except, of course, Y/N. When Sirius would widen his eyes and part his lips in pleading, Y/N would just shove the parchment, quills, and ink back into his lap.

“I have my own work to do, Sirius,” Y/N scolded, burying her head back into her textbook. “If you do it with me, like Rem, I’ll help and discuss. But I’m not going to risk my grade for you.”

Sirius grinned, hiding the fact his stomach turned at Remus’ name. At Remus’ lack of acknowledgment of the compliment; he was sitting next to Y/N, also engrossed in reading, not nearly happy enough to be wanted by someone as amazing as her. He had to clear his throat to ask, “Am I really not worth the risk?”

Without taking a beat to pause, she responded, “Not really, considering I already have all of your attention, anyways.” Remus looked up at that comment, staring at Sirius with a smirk. Sirius gave him an obviously fake smile, teeth gritted and eyes dark, which automatically disintegrated when Remus threw a spare quill at him.

Sirius’ frustration wasn’t momentary; Y/N’s words were like a spell stuck in his head, floating around, never settling. It was true: although she was a constant presence in his daily life, Y/N quipped and quarreled with him like she was James or Peter. Was it because he would give her more of his hours than a day could provide? Because he’d so obviously drop anything to help her without any explanation needed? Because, even after so many years and so many beautiful people with lovely souls and smiles, Sirius would still choose her, each and every time?

Was his ardent desire the one thing pushing her away?

Sleep was futile after that comment, leaving Sirius tossing around his bed like a hurricane. His mattress creaked below him with every overexaggerated movement. After about half an hour of this, a shadow formed above his tired—but sleepless—eyes. Sirius opened them to Remus standing there, coat on over his pyjamas.

“Sneak out with me?” he grinned.

“But of course.”

They took the invisibility cloak and went to Black Lake, their usual spot. The cold air helped numb Sirius’ aching tiredness, beginning to match his energy level with his inability to sleep. Even when he sat down on dewy grass next to Remus, he felt endlessly more awake.

“You kept moving in your bed,” Remus said, looking straight out towards the lake. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Yes, Sirius’ insides gasped. Yes, because you’re a good listener and my best friend.

Outwardly, Sirius matched Remus’ indifference. “You don’t want to know.”

Remus looked at him. But it felt more like through him, through his flesh and bones, to the heart pumping and beating and quaking. “What do you know about what I want?”

Remus’ eyes looked like the lake they were sitting in front of: deep, beautiful, dancing with the glittery reflection of starlight. Suddenly, Sirius was aware of how close they were sitting to one another. Suddenly, his heart wasn’t only beating and pumping and quaking, but skipping beats.

Because, if Sirius was being honest with himself, there wasn’t always only one person. Of course, Y/N caught his eye first, but seeing her was a rare phenomenon at first, only becoming a constant enough to be a reason for Sirius to wake up everyday during third year. But since the beginning there was Remus Lupin. Remus, who had a big appetite for chocolate, always put his right shoe on before his left, had read every book known to man, liked sly remarks and was good at making them, and drank most everything out of his assortment of mugs. Remus, who had a talent for making him feel happy, be it through a crude joke or a secret smile or a quill to the head.

Remus, who he had been this close to kissing before. At some party in fourth year, when everyone was too young to have alcohol but still acted drunk, and people were playing spin the bottle. On his turn, he spun, and the neck of the bottle missed Remus by something Sirius had naively labeled “luck.”

“It’s a pity,” Remus teased. “I’d be a good snog, you know.”

Now, almost three years later, Sirius was finally ready to believe him.

But, in fear of wanting too much, too many, two, Sirius turned away. “I know what I want,” he lied, stupidly, desperately, painfully.

Not wanting to have ruined his friendship for nothing, the next day, he found Y/N and asked her to Hogsmeade that weekend.

“With James and Peter and Rem—”

“No,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “Just the two of us.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, I don’t know what you think about how I’ve treated you for the past few years, but God, Y/N, I just… I’ve liked you so much since the moment we met. And I just didn’t know how to act around you except being my normal arsehole self—which is no excuse to have been an arse, I know— but you just always… you’ve never let me catch up to how I feel about you.”

Y/N was laughing. Was this just some sick joke to her? Sirius went to open his mouth again, but before he could, she was saying, “I guess that’s better than hiding it in a diary and pretending it's not real.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “Wait. You can’t… do you really feel the same?”

“Sirius, you are a massive—” Y/N said, while taking his hand in hers, “—absolute, oblivious, fool. Why would anyone hang out with you willingly if they weren’t totally weak for you?”

Sirius laughed. Part of it was joy that he got to squeeze Y/N’s hand in his, feel it, hold it, support it. But part of it was false; for, that statement could apply to Y/N as much as it could apply to Remus.

Now, a few months later, Sirius and Y/N had had their first date, first kiss, first night together, full of writhing and gasping and “I love you’s” mouthed directly onto skin. Every time he looked at her, he still saw her as the breathtaking girl across the dining hall at the Sorting Ceremony, as tough his eyes were time capsules incapable of encapsulating the beauty of what they held. Maybe he kept her at a distance subconsciously. Maybe it was because he knew he wasn’t ready for the kind of relationship he wanted to have with her. Or maybe, he knew having her love would feel too real to fathom, too large to hold, and he couldn’t manage to make himself do it until there were no other options than to get past the fear and learn to carry the love he used to secrete.

Even while looking at her now, he was in awe.

Even while looking at her now, he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had kissed Remus the night before.

Perhaps things would be less tense now; the dorm room would be wordless if it weren’t for James’ nonsensical but necessary blabber and Peter’s desire to talk whenever an awkward silence broke. Perhaps it would be as loud as it used to be (if not louder, for obvious reasons) if Sirius hadn’t so obviously turned himself away from something he wasn’t against as much as afraid of. Perhaps, more than the kiss itself, Sirius now longed for a bit of normalcy, wishing he could have both the girl of his dreams and his best friend. Be it in the same way, in different ways…

Sirius was so deep in thought he didn’t realize he was staring across the courtyard with narrowed eyes and that Y/N had wordlessly awoken from her slumber. Both of these realizations happened at once, when Sirius felt a touch to the bridge of his nose that didn’t come from his own fingers.

He looked down to a Y/N happy enough to be faking a pout. “What’s that for?” she asked, referencing the furrow between his brow she had helped calm.

Sirius sighed. His hand rose to lift Y/N’s finger off of his face, directing it to slip into the crooks between his fingers instead. Despite the apparent intimacy of the gesture, Sirius was removed; if he felt more comfortable, his eyes would meet Y/N’s, which they couldn’t do. “I just feel… I don’t know why, Y/N, but I really think, for some reason, Moony’s angry with me.”

“Oh.” Now the frown was real. “Do you really not know why, or is this one of those ‘I don’t want to admit I did something wrong’ moments?”

“Come again?”

Y/N sat up, making it more difficult to avoid her eyes. “I just feel like you both know one another awfully well for you to not know how you could make the other mad.”

“I guess,” Sirius blew out a breath, “We, um, argued… and both took it more seriously than we needed to. Now neither of us will crack first.” It wasn’t far from the truth: both of them had taken that moment with immense weight in the way it shifted the dynamic of their relationship, and now, neither of them wanted to bring it up to the other.

“You’re both mature enough to have that conversation,” Y/N complimented.

“Yeah. I just think he’s not done cooling down from it. I don’t want to push him again too soon.” Again, not far from the truth. But it was still a lie. A second lie, which worried Sirius in the ease of its formulation and distribution.

“Well, I’m headed to study with him now. So if you want, I can ask some not-very-sly-because-they’re-far-too-pointed questions.”

Sirius finally met Y/N’s eyes; now, it was she who was wearing a tense brow. Sirius echoed her previous movement to relax the spot before kissing it. “Would you do that for me?”

“But of course,” Y/N smiled, standing up. She collected a few things from the ground: her cardigan, her bookbag, a dandelion. She held it up to Sirius’ mouth. “Wish me luck?”

Sirius blew and watched the seeds dance around him. But, if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t quite sure what he was wishing for.

⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥

Pt. 2 NOW AVAILABLE! read here 

⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥  ⬥

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added): @siriuslyimmoony @astertist @who-cares-unknown @neewtmas @sjriusblck @boring-viola @moonlitdiggory @gryffndor @themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy @the-apple-princess @sly-vixen-up2nogood @bluemadcnna @lonelyheart-jadedsoul @starlitfawkes @swellwriting @young7711 @fandomsxo @kar-loves-you @some-blondes-unicorn @bethanystan @starlitfawkes @jamcspotters @siriusoricns  @swellwriting

[casper-writes-stuff]

Fallen

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20046148/chapters/47471281

Summary: Patton has Roman and he has Dolion. That's about it though, in the friendship department. Not a big deal though, that's all he really needs! Who cares if he gets picked on for his overly cheerful disposition when Dolion isn't around to shoot glares at everyone? Not him! In fact, he so doesn't care what other people think that- Yeah no, he usually ends up crying alone in his room when he feels lonely because Roman is always at rehearsals for some play or another and Dolion prefers to stay in his home alone after school to recharge for the next day.

That is, until he manages to catch the attention of one Virgil Ward, resident bad boy punk at the school who's rumored to have killed someone in the last school he was in and everyone avoids except for Student Body President Logan Thomas and resident biker gang member Remy Sanders.

Special thanks to @thetickleeraven for letting me write a fic inspired by their own fic, Rumored!! 

Patton was a lot of things. He was friendly, he was what Roman described as “soft pastel”, he was a dad joke loving fiend according to Dolion. He was not, however, popular. This was evident by the avoidant students and sarcastic teasing from the more, actually popular, kids.

That was fine though, he had Dolion and Roman and that was really all he needed, right? Wrong apparently, since he usually got overwhelmed with loneliness after school when he was home alone after school, waiting for his parents to get home from work. His mom already starting her twelve hour shift at the hospital and his dad barely coming home because he was a workaholic at his everyday desk job.

It was quiet existence and not exactly something Patton wanted, being the extroverted teen he was, but that wasn’t really something he could control. So, every morning, he’d wake up, put on makeup to hide his red puffy eyes from crying to sleep the night before, put on a bright grin and give himself a pep talk.

“You, Patton Heart, have got this. You’re kind, you love your friends, your friends love you, you’ve got all you need. You’re smart! Getting straight A’s at school and having a four-point-o grade average is hard to achieve and you’ve got that! You’re incredible, you can do this!”

Usually, the pep talk worked and he could get on with his day, but sometimes, like today, the words felt fake. It’s okay though, he could fake it ‘til he made it. He was going to get through today too!

Patton pushed the little voice in his head telling him he couldn’t do this to the back of his mind, grabbed his backpack from his room and headed out the door to go next door before Roman left to pick up Dolion.

The walk was short but definitely needed to pick up Patton’s spirits as he felt his grin grow more genuine at the thought of getting to see one of his two best friends so early in the morning. Roman Prince was already locking up the house when Patton made his way through the gate, beaming at the drama nerd humming some Disney song to himself (was that Go the Distance from Hercules?).

“Hey Ro!” Patton said brightly, making Roman jump and fumble with his keys, the jingle abruptly stopping when they fell through his fingers to the concrete porch step.

Patton snickered and Roman playfully glared at him, bending down to pick up his keys.

“Must you do that every morning, Pattoff?”

“I dunno, do you gotta get startled every morning, Romoff?” 

Roman sighed dramatically, walking past Patton and out to his red Hyundai Ioniq Hybrid (Patton had no idea what that was, but Roman was very insistent on saying the entire car brand or whatever it was).

“Honestly, you’d think with how often you scare me each morning I’d get used to you popping up out of nowhere, but no I’m always in different stages of getting ready when you come over!”

Patton rolled his eyes, readjusting his backpack strap on his shoulder before responding.

“Not my fault you’re inconsistent with getting ready. If you had a set routine I’m sure you’d get more used to it! I always come over at the same time every day, and I never know if you’re going to be still brushing your hair, putting on your makeup, or packing your bag.”

Roman stopped with the driver’s side door open to stare at Patton, as if just realizing something.

“Wow, you really do show up at the exact same time every day. Doesn’t the routine get a little boring?”

Patton shrugged, opening the door on his side and tossing his backpack on the floor before climbing in.

“It’s comforting, I guess? I dunno, I kinda like it though.”

Roman hummed as he climbed into the car with Patton, sticking his key into the ignition but not turning it and turning towards Patton.

“Didn’t you say once that routine wasn’t the healthiest for the human mind?”

Patton shrunk into his shoulders, staring out of the windshield.

“...yeah. The brain needs stimulation, and a regular routine bores the mind and makes depression more likely.”

Roman raised an eyebrow, but otherwise stayed quiet. Patton didn’t say anything else until Roman’s ringtone for Dolion started going off, Fall Out Boy blaring throughout the car.

Roman cursed and dug into his back pocket for his phone until he could answer the call, putting it on speaker so Patton could hear too.

“Yes, love?”

Dolion’s unamused voice came through the tiny speaker.

“Don’t you “love” me, you’re three minutes late in picking me up, Roman. School starts in five.”

Roman cursed again, setting his phone down on the center console while Patton snickered as they both buckled up.

“Did you seriously not even start driving yet? Do you want to be late again?”

Patton felt his heart jump into his throat at the reminder. If Roman made him late again that meant detention for Mr. Lendor because he was late yesterday but managed to get out of the punishment because he’d literally never been late before.

“Please step on it, Roman,” Patton whispered, sinking low in his seat at the thought of getting detention.

Roman gave Patton a weird look, Dolion already having hung up.

“Why? You usually advocate for safe driving.”

“I have Mr. Lendor first period, Roman. I was already late yesterday.”

Roman has a really bad habit of swearing, and usually, Patton would subscribe to the swear jar, but right now he actually agreed with the loud “Fuck!” that Roman let out as he pulled out of the driveway and stepped on the gas.

Patton ran into the school ahead of Dolion and Roman, quietly repeating crap to himself as he ran to the back of the school towards the English hall. Of course his first class had to be at the very back of the school! The bell rang thirty seconds before Patton slid into the classroom, his rubber soles squeaking against the linoleum flooring.

A bunch of kids starting snickering and whispering as Mr. Lendor handed Patton his detention slip, making his heart fall despite the heaving of his chest.

“I gave you a chance, Mr. Heart. I’ll be seeing you in Mrs. Montejo’s classroom after school.”

Patton nodded quietly, taking the slip before making his way to his seat in the front of the classroom, jamming the paper in the smallest pocket of his backpack before he pulled out his English textbook in dejection, opening it to the page written on the board. Today was going to be a long one…

And it honestly was. He’d had to run to every single class to make sure he was on time, getting warning shouts from teachers and angry ones from student’s he’d accidentally run into. He wasn’t usually in this much of a rush, but teachers kept holding him back after class to talk to him about this scholarship or that extra credit assignment and it was driving him insane!

He finally slowed down near his psych class, knowing Dr. Picani would be much more forgiving if he walked in a few seconds late than the rest of his teachers. His constant reference to cartoon characters definitely helped Patton get really into psychology. 

Patton gave a genuine smile at Dolion when he met him in the hall, walking along with him to Psychology.

“You look like hell,” was Dolion’s first comment, making Patton snort at the abrupt honesty.

“I know. I’ve been running around all day. Teachers keep holding me back to talk about my grades.”

Dolion groaned. “You’d think with your perfect grades, rivalling only Logan Thomas, teachers would leave you alone.”

Patton heaved a sigh, nodding in agreement. “I know, but they want me to start thinking about colleges, even though it’s still only Junior year and I don’t entirely know if I want to be a therapist or work with pets!”

Dolion gave Patton a Look. “You’re allergic to cats.”

“Not severely!” Patton defended, entering the open door of the classroom with Dolion, taking a moment to smile at Dr. Picani before sitting in his seat just as the bell rang. 

Of course, a minute after the bell rang, Picani hadn’t started teaching and that was because a certain student usually took two minutes after the bell rang to enter the class.

Patton shifted uncomfortably in the silence, Dolion already doodling in his sketchbook and not paying attention to anything but what he was doing. Patton sighed, resting his elbow on his desk before plopping his chin his hand while he waited for Virgil Ward to enter the classroom.

Virgil had a reputation. He always sat in the back of every classroom, regardless of seating arrangements, he skipped classes he didn’t like or feel like going to (which was saying something that he literally always showed up to Dr. Picani’s psychology class), he almost never spoke up and tended to insult whoever forced him to when he could.

He had also transferred to the highschool a year ago, and the rumor was that he had killed someone in his last school.

Patton didn’t think it was that extreme, otherwise he’d be in jail, right? Still, Patton couldn’t help but believe that maybe he had beaten someone up and gotten expelled or something and that had caused his transfer.

And right on time, Virgil sauntered into the classroom, his bottom lip dipping as he played with the piercing on it with his teeth.

Of course, there was also the fact that Virgil was incredibly attractive, with his piercings and tattoo sleeves and his ripped skinny jeans, his studded bracelets and black shirt and leather jacket. It was honestly ridiculous how hot the teen was.

And, instead of sitting in the very back, he always sat behind Patton.

Patton had grown used to it by now, what with the year being two-thirds of the way over, but it still gave him nervous butterflies. Whether it was from the tiny crush he had on him or the dangerous reputation he had, Patton never could tell.

He was just… he had control. He had friends too! Despite being labeled the dangerous bad boy everyone should avoid, everybody secretly swooned over him, and those that hated him didn’t dare make it known to his face and that was honestly just… so cool! It made Patton envious, but at the same time he admired him so much. He was friends with the actual smartest kid in school, Logan Thomas, and with resident biker gang member Remy Sanders.

Logically, pastel soft boy Patton, who wore pink and was one of the most sensitive kids in school shouldn’t be crushing on bad boy Virgil, but everything about him captivated Patton and he really couldn’t help it.

“Patton?” Dr. Picani said, making Patton blink back to reality.

“Um… yes?” he asked, sheepishly, making Picani raise an eyebrow.

“Can you tell me what HFD is?” he asked patiently, smiling knowingly as Patton flushed, realizing he had spaced out.

“High Functioning Depression. It’s uh… not actually a clinical diagnosis though, falling under Dysthymia instead....”

Dr. Picani nodded. “Exactly! People with HFD are found to be smarter than they were before, some psychologists find that people with HFD tend to throw themselves into their work, most claiming to be perfectionists before diagnosis.”

Patton breathed a sigh of relief when the attention was off him again, though now he was actually paying attention to what Dr. Picani was saying and taking notes. He’d have to ask someone for notes he may have missed, if he can find anyone. Dolion doesn’t usually take notes, and usually everybody else avoids him…

Sighing, Patton listened intently, trying not to let his mind wander off. He’d barely eaten today, so concentrating was difficult, maybe he should eat something when he gets home? His mom should have food ready when he gets home, if she decided to cook tonight. Though maybe not, she did mention having to go to work early today and wanting to get plenty of rest in his family group chat during lunch…

Before he knew it, the class was over and he’d once again barely paid attention, though it didn’t look like there was homework for this class at least. Hopefully he’d get a chance to go over someone’s notes during detention.

“Patton, if you wouldn’t mind staying for a minute?” Dr. Picani spoke up, making Patton sigh.

“Yeah, Dr. Picani?” he asked, forcing on a tired smile for the sake of his favorite teacher.

“Are you okay? You barely paid attention today. You had a faraway look in your eyes almost the entire class.”

Patton nodded, smiling more genuinely this time.

“Yeah, I’m okay! I’m just tired today is all, I was up late working on homework last night.”

Dr. Picani hummed to himself, tapping his chin.

“Can you do me a favor? I want you to research depression tonight, different types, as much as you can handle after all of your homework. Then I want you to come see me Monday after school and talk to me about what you learned, okay?”

Patton, feeling slightly confused, nodded. “Sure, Doctor. Can I ask why?”

“We’ll talk about that on Monday, Patton.”

Nodding, still confused, Patton turned to leave the room after Dr. Picani gestured for him to leave.

And then he noticed the time and he took off running through the halls again to get to the Spanish building outside. God, why was this school so big?

He barely made it into the classroom with a minute to spare, his rushed entrance gaining the attention of everyone there, including Virgil and Remy, the latter sporting a black eye that couldn’t even be completely covered by his shades. The former had bruised knuckles, and there was a third kid closer to the front of the classroom with a swollen nose and split lip.

“Kind of you to finally join us, Mr. Heart. Why don’t you take a seat next to Mr. Ward in the back and we can get started. I certainly hope you don’t make being late a habit.”

Patton bit back his response that he wasn’t late this time, deciding he didn’t really want to gain a reputation of fighting teachers and did as he was asked.

The butterflies in his belly returned, this time stronger, now that he was sitting right next to Virgil instead of in front of him. God help him, detention was going to be hard until he was able to focus on something else.

“Alright, now that everyone’s here, detention has officially started. You’re not allowed to do anything except sit there and think. You all know the drill. I’ll be back here every fifteen minutes to check in on you.”

Patton held back a groan, slumping forward and hitting his head against the table. Being forced to think with nothing to do? Bad idea, Mr. Lendor. If he heard Patton’s regular thoughts when he was crying himself to sleep at night (not that he’d do that here, too many people), he doubted the teacher would make him do nothing.

“I know this is something you’re not used to, Mr. Heart, but you do need to face the consequences of your actions.”

Patton sat up to stare at Mr. Lendor in horror at being sought out, the snickering from the other students making Patton’s cheeks burn.

“Yes sir,” he muttered, sinking low in his seat as Mr. Lendor left the room.

The second the authority figure was gone, Remus, Patton’s regular tormentor switched desks from the front to the one right in front of him, sitting backwards in the chair with a wicked grin.

“Well helloooo~ Pattoff!”

Patton flinched, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Please don’t call me that, Remus.”

Remus pouted, pushing his cheek into his hand so one side of his face squished up.

“Awww, why not Pattoff? Aren’t we friends?”

Patton didn’t answer, staring at his desk and picking at a loose thread on his pastel yellow jean shorts.

Remus huffed at the lack of a response.

“So, what’d you do, baby? You’re never late to class, surely Mr. Lendor was sparing you? Did you get in a fight? Finally grow some balls and punch someone? I knew you were faking that ridiculous sensitivity of yours.”

“Leave him alone, Burke,” Virgil snapped, making Patton look over at the other in surprise, Remus doing the same.

“Aww, Virge sweetie, I’m sorry. Am I bothering your little toy? I didn’t know you laid claim on him,” Remus purred, only to jump in surprise when Patton stood up abruptly, smacking his hands against his desk.

Patton was glaring harshly at Remus, tears in his eyes.

“I am sick of your gross comments toward me Remus Burke. You have anger issues and an obsession with sex? Fine, but leave me the hell alone.”

And then he stormed out of the building, adjusting his route so that he could head home, whether or not Mr. Lendor was gonna give him another detention on Monday or not.

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

FIC: Surpassed All Men III

---

The past three weeks had been strange. Or rather, strange things had kept happening around and to her and Jo still couldn’t work out what on earth it had all meant.

---

It had started with Grey’s refusal to leave her side except for toilet breaks since he’d gotten home that afternoon. And he watched her more than usual. Not in the way Jo had gotten completely desensitized to over the years - the watching that was more studying, usually with a pencil or charcoal in one hand and a sketchbook or piece of paper or sometimes even a napkin in the other - but in a much more concerning way.

When she’d finally woken from her nap, Grey had softly suggested they start getting dinner ready and then had persisted saying her name every time her back was turned. The weirdest part was that he’d denied it entirely, and looked at her strangely when after the third time she’d asked “what” that Jo had just laughed loudly and said he was the cutest prankster she knew. They’d spent the rest of the night together like always - a tub of ice cream between them as they watched an older movie together, wrapped up under a blanket despite the slightly balmy Spring night time, and Jo had just ignored every time she heard her name from the other unless it was that soft pet name instead.

In the morning, she’d woken with a slight headache and that had just been the start of that new development that happened every day upon waking. Like her ears were ringing with the ghosts of something she hadn’t heard and it was all catching up to her in a rush of noise and a pounding in her temples as she’d sit up for the first time of the day. However, two Advil with her coffee and Jo was right as rain for the rest of the day. Or at least, right so far as the headache went.

There was still that annoying little voice, or voices, calling out her name on occasion but after the fifth time that such a call occurred followed almost immediately by a text message or phone call from one of the younger hunters on the scene or from one of her boys, Jo figured it was just like a phantom itch before her phone would buzz like the feeling of the phone’s vibration before it would really go off. However she could tell that Grey had noticed something from how he would stare at her each time it happened, a tiny crease between his brows she hadn’t seen since their daughter got home and they’d fixed her apartment to be as safe as possible all over again.

This ongoing pattern became part of her everyday routine, and Jo slowly began to be able to recognize the voice before the call would come in.

---

‘Jo...’ Frowning, the blonde rubbed at her temple for a second as she set down the wooden spoon into her mixing bowl with a sigh. This was getting a little annoying, whatever it was, but recognizing the voice gently whispering her name that time, Jo let out a small happy noise.

“Jo?” Grey perked his head up at the sound of her stopping her baking, looking over at her and Jo merely shook her head back at his query. “You okay, pretty one?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just-” She started replying before the opening chords of her ringtone started chiming through the room. Jo let out a small laugh as she reached over for her phone, flashing up ‘Unknown’ at her before she answered and set the call straight to speaker. “Hey Billy, what’s up?”

“It’s me- uh, Mom?” “Yeah, babyboy what’s up?” “Um, I had a question about a case I’m on with Jake.” “Sure, shoot!”

“Mom,” The voice at the other end of the phone sounded hesitant, and Jo shrugged to herself as she began wiping off her floury hands on her apron. “How’d you know it as me? I’m on a motel phone?”

“Call it mother’s intuition, Billyboy.” The blonde let out a laugh as she moved around to lean against the countertop, making a surprised noise as a hand came around her waist and Grey’s chin rested over her shoulder to look at the phone screen. “Your dad’s here too-”

“Hey dad!” “Hey Billy. You had a question for your mom?” “Oh! Oh yeah!”

Jo smiled her way through the call, trying to keep the amusement off her voice as she answered the other’s questions, called a greeting to the other young hunter as he seemingly entered the motel room, and teased both younger men that they better be back in town the next month for the surprise birthday dinner for Sam. She knew she didn’t do a good job of it as Grey wrapped a tighter arm around her waist, and when they ended the call he ran a hand over her hair gently.

“Pretty one, how are you doing?” Grey asked gently, stroking his fingers over her ear gently as he looked at her in concern. “How much more you have to do on the brownies?”

“Just into the pan and then into the oven.” “Good, I’ll get that done and then did you want a massage while it bakes?”

Biting down on a pleased moan, Jo nodded under his hand before the other pressed his lips gently against her forehead and moved around to get the rest of the baking done. Perhaps her attempts to hide when the headaches were starting wasn’t particularly good, but at least she always got something sweet out of it.

---

The next strange thing had been the sugar cravings. Jo had always had a sweet tooth, but one morning two weeks after Gabriel had visited when she found herself dumping five spoons of sugar into her coffee to make it tolerable she had been so confused. That had just been the first in a long line of strange desires - from brownies at all hours of the day, to putting honey on practically every meal, and her pouting for five long minutes before Grey had agreed to summon her more apple sauce for the pork roast she had already dumped almost an entire jar on the side of her plate with.

All in all, her food cravings weren’t particularly strange, until the one afternoon she had a desire she hadn’t since she was carrying Fiona.

---

“Hun,” Jo asked quietly as she was slumped over the kitchen table with her laptop up. There had been email after email coming in all afternoon from all corners of the country - and a chain that was updated every two minutes from the group of tech-savvy researchers that was draining all of her focus - but all the blonde could think about was a craving she couldn’t put into words. “Hun, I need food.”

“Jo, you’re in the kitchen.” “So?” “So get yourself something.”

“But huuuun,” The blonde whined as she looked up from the screen to see the other chopping the ingredients for dinner and looking back at her in exasperation. Waiting for Grey to catch her eye, Jo slowly shifted to the side, leaning a little further forward in her sundress and pressing her arms together rather obnoxiously. “I’m hungry and I don’t know what I want.”

There was a long pause before the other sat the chef's knife down and brushed his hands off on the side of his jeans with a frown. “What do you feel like? Let me guess, something sweet?”

“Yes!” “Well, I’ve got some fruit in the fridge from Shada’s visit-” “Ugh!”

“Jo, you know as well as I that fruit isn’t going to hurt you.” Grey let out a bit of a laugh at her antics, moving towards the cupboards and fridge alike, opening the doors so that he could review the contents. “But fine, we’ve got chocolate-”

“No thanks.” “What about some cookies?” “Nope!” “Popcorn?” “Oh yes!”

“On its own?” The other asked quietly as he moved around to set a pan with oil onto the stovetop and begin the process to get the corn kernels popped and the afternoon snack prepared. Jo let out a disappointed whine that got a returned laugh. “Okay, what with then?”

“Oh, oh, I want it with pickles and peanut butter and Siracha and honey!” Jo found herself immediately knowing the flavors she wanted, that had been dancing on the corner of her desires before. As she rattled them off, she didn’t even remember why she knew she loved the combination, other than that it needed to be perfectly balanced with more sweetness and peanut than the tang of pickles or heat of the chili. “And mini marshmallows, do we have any?”

“Uh,” Grey stumbled over the response, pausing with his back to her and Jo frowned noticing the way his shoulders suddenly went tense. “Jo? You want that combination?”

The other’s words made her freeze for a moment, tilting her head as she thought about the way he seemed to react before running through in her mind what she had asked for. She’d last had the exact same cravings when she had been waddling around the house with her second baby, and the strange combination had been all she wanted to eat for months. Slowly she found her eyes widening, and a slight concern running through her. “Oh. Uh, yeah I do. But not for that reason though!” Jo found herself rushing to say as she rubbed at the back of her neck nervously. “I just... I really want somethin’ sweet, but tangy, and hot and... I like marshmallows.”

The pause between the both of them until the sound of popping started under the metal pot lid, and as Grey pulled a face, he looked at her in concern and worry before getting everything together. Jo found herself frowning even as the craving and desire she’d felt growing all afternoon faded satiated as she chewed on the popcorn as soon as he’d set the bowl down and started back on dinner.

---

As strange as the cravings had been and developed, that sudden desire having grown to be frequently wanted each day, Jo found herself disturbed most of all as the last thing she’d noticed happening. It had been subtle at first, and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it began, but the last time she’d been out of the house, Jo had almost found herself crying and racing home immediately rather than face it more.

---

Jo and Fiona were sitting at the other’s favorite cafe when it first started that morning.

The quiet sound of someone chuckling. It seemed a little out of place, and a little too repetitive rather than genuine. The sour sound of huffed laughter the same way over and over. The dark tone but with none of the amusement that usually filled the sound with warmth for most people. Jo’d frowned a little - the sound something she’d heard a few times over the last few weeks, but never quite as loud or as close, or for as long.

“What on earth is that?” Jo sighed, rubbing a hand to her temple for a moment as she looked about herself, as Fi looked back at her in confusion. “Can you hear-”

“The weird constant laughter?” “Yeah that.” “It’s definitely weird, I, uh, I can’t find anyone feeling amused enough for that.”

The blonde frowned across at her daughter as the brunette looked about herself and held tightly onto the cup of green tea she’d ordered over touching her salad. Fiona looked about to each table, brown eyes wide and confused as she seemed to look around the both of them. It wasn’t something that the other did usually, and Jo reached across the table to place a hand comfortingly against the other’s wrist.

At that moment, the sound grew louder, and over the top of Fiona’s shoulder, Jo could see all of the other customers sitting nearby started laughing loudly. Loudly, bitterly and with the same lack of amusement and warmth as the rest of them. The waitress came over and as she set Jo’s lemon meringue pie down in front of her was giggling manically as she placed the plate down and looked at the pair of them expectantly.

Jo raised an eyebrow for a moment, glancing between the giggling woman and her daughter who had jerked back in her chair and twisted as far away from the waitress as possible.

The pair of them shared a concerned look as the woman walked away after Jo muttered the word ‘thanks’, and the disconcerting feeling grew with the sound of laughter grew louder and louder over their meal.

“Mom...” “I know, darlin’, we’re goin’ now.”

Jo threw a few notes down on the table to cover their meal and a large tip before the pair left and intended to walk around the local shopping mall. That was until the laughter continued. Loud and abrasive, and slowly driving and digging at something deep inside of the blonde as the pair scurried towards the exit.

It wasn’t until they reached the car that Jo gave in to that little voice inside - letting out a loud laugh as she leaned her head against the top of the car, unable to stop the sound as it rang across the car park and she blinked a few times through the tears that ran free down her face to see her daughter’s face screwed up in concern, even as her lips tugged up in her own hysterical laughter.

---

[bluesfortheredj]

You tap the end of your make up brush against your palm as you wait for the next person to enter your trailer, and as soon as your hear his voice from outside the door, your heart skips a beat. You jump up from leaning on the counter then straighten out your shirt and quickly smooth down your hair before he sees you.

“Ready for me?” he asks as he enters without knocking.

“Oh, Gwilym, I’m always ready for you,” you grin, and he blushes as he laughs.

“You’ve made my day already and it’s only half six,” he sighs happily as he drops himself down into the chair that faces the large mirror. You lean over from the side as you begin to wipe his face with a cleanser, then apply a nourishing cream as a base for his make up, and as you dab at his skin you find your eyes wandering down to the deep v shape in his cream t-shirt. Your tongue darts out from between your lips to lick them as you eye his chest hair and he smiles to himself in the mirror as he watches you carefully.

“So, what do you prefer on a man, (Y/N)… A bit of chest hair, or smooth and shaven?” he asks as you meet his gaze. Your mouth opens to reply but no sound comes out, so you end up looking like a fish as your lips move together then apart again.

“Can’t beat a bit of hair,” you eventually manage to squeak.

“I thought you’d say that,” he chuckles.

This was the part of your morning routine that you enjoyed the most, and Gwilym had become increasingly bold with his flirting recently as you got to know each other better and better each day. Your days had become that much brighter knowing that you’d get to see him, and you soon found yourself counting down the hours until you saw him again which you knew was a bad sign.

“(Y/N), can I ask you something?” Gwilym suddenly questions as you turn to your table full of make up and pick up a small tube of primer.

“Of course,” you smile when you turn back to face him.

“I was just-”

“Is pretty boy done yet?” Ben asks as he barges through the door unceremoniously.

Both you and Gwilym let out frustrated sighs as he flops down on the couch at the end of the trailer while he waits for you to be done with Gwil, and your conversation stops dead in its tracks.

“You don’t need to stop on my account,” Ben smirks over at you both as you hurriedly finish off Gwil’s make up.

“All done!” you announce, then turn to your table so you don’t have to watch him leave.

“Right, what am I in for today then?” Ben grins as he plants himself in the chair that Gwilym was sat in only moments ago, “oh, and sorry for disrupting you two love birds.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” you reply as you bustle around the counter and almost knock a bottle of foundation on the floor.

“Of course you don’t, and neither does Gwilym either apparently,” he smirks.

“Got your drumsticks on you?” you ask.

“No, why?”

“Well that’s a shame, I need something to hit you with,” you laugh before giving him a playful slap on the arm.

“Not my fault you two are so obvious about it,” he winks as he rubs his skin where you hit him.

Once Ben was finished and your trailer falls quiet as everyone makes their way to set, you take a few minutes to yourself and sit down with a cup of tea and your phone for company. Your thumb scrolls through instagram as usual, liking the odd photo every now and again, but you stop when it gets to the suggested people and you spot your ex boyfriend’s face straight away. A sinking feeling grows in the pit of your stomach as your eyes fixate on the tiny picture on the screen, and you almost tap on his profile before you think better of it and scroll past quickly.

The nagging voice in the back of your head continues throughout the day, making it increasingly difficult to resist taking a peek. It was a simple curiosity of what he was up to in life now, and things hadn’t ended badly so there was no negativity there; it’s like when you see an old school friend on facebook, and you have to click on their profile, even though you know it’s going to be filled with pictures of their children. You made a decision as soon as you left work that night, and if you were still wondering about it all in the morning, then you’d look.

As expected you wake up with that same thought floating around in your mind like a small cloud on an otherwise clear day, and you tap on instagram to see your suggested people hadn’t changed. There he was again, his blank expression staring back at you from his chosen photo. He never was one for smiling and that alone makes you chuckle to yourself before you finally press on it to see his profile.

“Oh, wow,” you say aloud as you see that he’s now married. He looks happy and it made you happy to see that rare smile in his wedding photo. His wife is pretty, thin, and blonde, and they look wonderful together in the pictures from their big day. You don’t spend too long on his profile and when you come off of it you’re not feeling too bad about it all, but then the comparisons start.

Of course everyone takes life at their own pace, but you’re the same age and he’s married already. Sure, other people your age have kids too, and most of them in school now, but there was something about this that was getting to you because you could not be further from anything like that in your life right now. You’d love to be settled with someone, but you are on the downhill slope towards thirty with no sign of a partner, and suddenly you start to wonder why. Your thoughts spiral on your way to work, and the fact that it’s four in the morning and you haven’t had a coffee yet is definitely not helping.

“Morning!” Gwilym grins as he walks into the trailer soon after you arrive, holding two cups of coffee, “I saw you walk in and thought you could use this. You look a little sombre this morning.”

“Thanks,” you smile as you take the cup from him, but you’re too distracted to say anything else.

“Is everything okay?” he asks as he takes his seat and looks up at you with a concerned frown.

“Fine,” you nod, “just fine.”

Gwilym frowns as you start to pick up items from your table then put them back down again when you realise they’re not what you need, and he reaches his hand out to yours to comfort you.

“Hey, you can talk to me if you want,” he says softly as his fingers stroke your knuckles.

“I’m fine,” you smile weakly.

“Alright then, here’s a question for you,” he grins, settling back in the chair, “men with long curly hair or short and swept to the side?”

“Both. At the same time,” you chuckle lightly, but stop almost as soon as you’ve started, then get to work in a solemn silence. Gwilym tries his best to get you into a proper conversation but it doesn’t work, and your answers are kept short. As he leaves the trailer he notices you hunch over in front of the mirror and take a look at yourself with an expression of disdain, and it leaves him with a sadness that sticks by him for the rest of the day.

“Have you seen (Y/N)?” he asks every person he passes once he’s done with filming. Finally he gets an answer from one of the women from wardrobe, and he finds you sitting by yourself on a chair near the car park, twirling a cigarette around in your hand.

“Didn’t know you smoked,” he smiles kindly as he approaches your slumped figure.

“I haven’t done in years,” you sigh, not taking your eyes off of the stick that rests between your fingers.

“Feeling stressed?” Gwil asks as he sits down on the floor next to you.

“I’m feeling… Unsettled.”

“Do you want to tell me why?”

“It’s stupid, really,” you say as you shake your head.

“It’s not stupid if it’s upsetting you this much. You were like a completely different person this morning, I’ve been worrying about you all day.”

You turn to look at him and meet his bright blue eyes which are filled with concern as they study your face, then you slide off of your chair so you can sit leaning up against his arm. He gladly places his arm around your shoulders as he smiles to himself, then waits for you to open up to him.

“So I know that you shouldn’t compare your life to anyone else’s, but when I’m surrounded by people that are the same age who are getting married, having children, and generally doing very grown up things that seem so far away in my own life, sometimes it just gets to me, you know? It sounds stupid, and my goodness do I sound ungrateful, but-”

“No, you don’t sound stupid in the slightest. I feel the same sometimes. Everyone sort of assumes that because of my job my life is sorted, but it’s not at all. Professionally, yes, but personally, far from it.”

“Exactly! I couldn’t be happier with my job, and I know that I’m one of the very few people in my friendship group who can say they enjoy going to work everyday, but that’s only part of it. Everything else is all up in the air, and the pressure and expectations set by everyone else just overwhelms me sometimes.”

“It’s okay, it’s only natural to feel like that what with bloody social media everywhere and engagement announcements every five seconds,” Gwilym reassures, and you tilt your head up to look at his kind face that was already aimed towards you, “anyway, those things may come to us sooner than we think...”

His lips slowly form into a smile as you both maintain eye contact, then he moves his head towards yours ever so slightly to test the waters. You smile up at him as his grip on your shoulder becomes tighter, and you also move forwards a little to let him know you felt the same. Within a couple of seconds your lips meet in the middle in a soft kiss and your hand reaches up to his cheek as he slips his tongue into your mouth. When you both eventually pull away from one another, your faces are flushed red, and neither of you are sure where to look.

“I think you’re right,” you say shyly.

Request: I have a request for Gwilym! The reader works as a makeup artist on set of Bo Rhap and always has a joke and flirts with Gwilym, but one day he notices she’s quieter than normal and doesn’t really speak whilst she’s getting him ready then finds her after he finishes filming and comforts her because she just feels a little sad and their first kiss happens?

@painthatiusedto @winnielinleigh @queenslandlover-93 @excellentbecca @ametaphorbrian @peachllobotomy @lovemarvelousfics @lovemelikeyou1997 @readinghorn

[catdaddydef]

❤️💖💘💓💝💕❣️💟❣️💕💝💓💞💘💖❤️💝💞💕💖

Tagged by the lovely @enderkate and the wonderful @ahgase55g7

The rules are:

1. Tag the person who tagged you

2. Answer the questions.

3. Tag 10 people

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE U GUYS

•How tall are you?

5’2 and flourishing. Give me a tall man tho, but I'mma still wear the pants. Everyone in my family is literally the same shape and height. The genes are hella strong.

•What color and style is your hair?

I dye my hair all the time, but my natural hair color is a lightish brown. Right now I have it a pretty dark shade of brown, but an thinking of dying it again. I have super long, straight, and THICK hair. It’s getting hotter out and I am about to chop it all off. I really want to bleach my hair, but that is too big of a step.

•What color are your eyes?

Brownnnnnn.

•Do you wear glasses?

Only when I drive or am in class. I have tried everything, but my glasses always leave a weird indent where my makeup is on my nose. So, I try to get by without them.

•Do you wear braces?

No. I actually sucked my thumb until I was ten, so I am surprised my teeth aren’t messed up, and I have really straight teeth. Maybe sucking my thumb moved them back into place? Is that even a thing?

•What’s your fashion sense?

I love fashion so much omg. I usually go for a vintage look, but am really into athletic fashion. If I could wear vintage Chanel or Versace everyday, I would, but your girl is broke. I desperately want a Chanel boy bag, so sugar daddy where u at?

I tag a lot of fashion under INSPO. So, if you ever see that tag, that’s what u will see me wearing or wanting to buy.

•Full name?

Ashley Rose. Idk if I want to put my full name because I am dodging the feds. JK JK

•When were you born?

August 5, 1997. 🦁♌🦁

•Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’m from Minnesota in the US. Reppin that northern twang. I live in Minneapolis, which is the biggest town in our state. It’s smaller than Chicago, but just the right size to get a small town feel in an urban city.

•What school do you go to?

I’m in university right now at the University of Minnesota. I’m a third year studying Psychology and Family Therapy. My goal after getting my degree will be to go onto grad school, either for Psychology or Social Work.

•What kind of student are you?

I was always the class clown, but in uni there are to many people to be wildin like that haha. I actually really love school and enjoy all of my classes. I worked really hard to get here, so I am milking it for all it’s worth. My grades are really nice, and I pride myself in saying that because I have went through such a tough time and still willed myself to keep up with school.

•Do you like school?

I’m a nerd yeah.

•Favorite subject?

Anything psych related. I’m in this cognitive psychology course right now and I love learning about the brain and how it explains our actions. Did you know we can live with only half a brain?

•Favorite TV show?

I love love love love love Naruto. It will forever be my favorite childhood memory, especially with my sister. That being said, I love anime as a whole. Right now I am watch JoJo and it is giving me life. Some of my other fav’s rn are The Haunting of Hill House, The Office, and That 70’s Show. I was a big Game of Thrones fan, but I didn’t like that they diverted from the books, so they lost me there.

Oh! And I am a huge reality TV fan. I have seen almost every season of The Challenge, watched Flavor of Love and I Love New York a million times, and Keeping Up With The Kardashians is a guilty pleasure. Say what you want, but I have been watching that show since 2008.

•Favorite Movie?

I’m a sucker for any emotional, sad movie. I love Titanic, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, A Star is Born, Edward Scissorhands, yeah. But my all time favorite movie would be the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. I can recite the whole script of Dead Man’s Chest and don’t even doubt it.

I just recently saw Akria and have been super obsessed with it, so that may potentially be a favorite.

And The Room is such a gem to me. Midnight showing are such a mood.

•Favorite books?

Hands down the Harry Potter series. I have read them all three times. I also am an avid fanfic reader. Go support your fandom writers plz. They are so precious.

 These are some of my favorite writers @prettywordsyouleft @urlocalkpoptrash @katdefbeom @ahgaseda

Favorite pastime?

I’m a huge YouTube Stan. Like, I spend most of my free time watching shitty videos. I’m one of Trishy’s Fishies 🐠🐠🐠

I am super in love with my cat, Miss Boo. So, I try and spend and give as much love to her. ♥️

Something I really love doing is finding new animes to watch with my sister, so shout out to her!

•Do you have any regrets?

I do, but if I had the chance to take them back, I wouldn’t. I have struggled a lot, but realizing that my mistakes have made me grow and learn is something I cherish.

I regret not fully standing Got7 till If You Do. I watched their little asses from debut, but fell in completely later on. Foolish.

•Dream job?

I’m so looking forward to what is ahead of me in social work and therapy. BUT I have always wanted to be an ice skater. Deadass. Or do something in fashion.

•Would you ever like to be married?

Yes! It will happen when it happens, but I know I would really love to grow old with someone and build a family. Let’s hope my prince gets his ass together and come find me. I’ve been waiting.

Where u at Jaebum. The fuck.

•Would you like to have kids?

Definitely. I want to have a huge family with a bunch of pets. I grew up with a yellow lab and when I am out of uni I want to adopt one. Also, I want to have an army of cats.

•How many?

Deadass five or more. Let’s go womb.

•Do you like shopping?

It is a bad habit. Don’t get me started. I admit I spend too much money on stupid stuff. I am such a makeup addict so plz keep me away from Sephora.  

•What countries have you visited?

Italy and Greece! I really want to travel more, but my wallet says no, no, no, no, no. I will probably end up living in Minnesota for the rest of my life because I want stay close to my family. Family means everything to me.

Regardless of being labeled as a kpop fan, I would love to visit Korea. I studied four semesters of Korean and would love to put it to use. I have also been a fan since 2013, so through kpop I have taken in a lot of the Korean culture. It would be a dream trip.

•Scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Waking up. JK. I don’t really remember my dreams all that much, but any dream where either someone has died or I am getting chased really freaks me out. I use to have really bad sleep paralysis, but I never had any hallucinations, just the experience of not being able to move or breath is super trippy.

•Any enemies?

Only myself.

•Any significant other?

Yeah, that spot is open right now. Please send in your applications.

I’m pretty sure Jaebum is single right now, just saying.

•Do you believe in miracles?

I want to, but I physically do not think they actually happen. I am a really practical person, but am open to learning and wishing.

I am suppose to insert a Got7 Miracle quote here hehe?

•How are you?

Gucci. Stressing and excited because the semester is coming to an end. And also super hyped because I just ate some good food. Hehe.

Tagging these lovely people! I’m not sure who has done this or not, but if you want to, JUST DO IT! 

@lordofassgard @jacksonurs @defsoulsgirl @tuanamino @empressjiaer @youngjaelitist @prettywordsyouleft @mark-tuan-and-namjoon-lover

[mind-reader1]

Queen of Hearts (Ch.7)

Drake x MC (Emma Barnes)

TRR AU: What would happen if Emma loved Drake but had to marry Liam?

Catch up here

Warnings: None

Note:

Word Count: 3592

Summary: Another person learns the secret, everyone returns to the palace and Emma learns just what she’s up against. Liam has a surprise for Emma, is it good or bad? 

Chapter 7: Dive (Ed Sheeran)

You’re a mystery I have traveled the world, there’s no other girl like you No one, what’s your history? Do you have a tendency to lead some people on? 'Cause I heard you do, mm 

I could fall, or I could fly Here in your aeroplane And I could live, I could die Hanging on the words you say And I’ve been known to give my all And lie awake, everyday don't know how much I can take

So don’t call me baby Unless you mean it And don’t tell me you need me If you don’t believe it So let me know the truth Before I dive right into you

Hana wandered back out to offer everyone brownies and noticed it was just Liam.

“Where did everyone go?” Liam was lost in his own thoughts, fiddling with the engagement ring he had given Emma, he didn't notice Hana.

“Liam?” She gently put her hand on his shoulder and frowned at the ring in his hand.

“Oh, Hana. I'm sorry I didn't hear you.”

“Is that Emma's ring?” Liam tucked it away in his hand and forced a smile, not answering.

“Is everything alright, Liam? I hope I'm not being too forward, but you and Emma seemed...off.” Liam sighed, they really hadn't done a good job at hiding it from their friends.

“Lady Hana, has Emma said anything to you?” She shook her head.

“You're a good friend Hana and I feel Lady Emma and Drake will need someone like you in the upcoming months.”

“I don't follow, Liam?”

“To be honest, Lady Hana, Lady Emma is in love with Drake. Our engagement is only to gain the support of the Cordonian people, she and Drake are...together.” Hana wrapped her head around Liam's words. Everyone's strange behavior suddenly made sense, why Liam was holding the engagement ring in his hand. Hana didn't know what to say, she felt for all of her friends. One thing was still bothering her though.

“If you know, then why Emma? I know you don't love me, but I would have been happy to help you for the sake of Cordonia and my friends happiness. It doesn't seem fair to any of you.” Liam gave Hana a small smile.

“I didn't know until I was down on one knee in front of her because I love her. I appreciate your offer, Lady Hana, but what's done is done. Everyone loves her, if I suddenly announced my engagement to another woman it would unravel everything I've done to gain Cordonia's support.” Hana nodded, she understood, she just wished she could door more to help her friends. Liam's phone began to buzz.

“We've been cleared to return to the palace!” Hana smiled and went to go inform Maxwell and Bertrand. Emma and Drake were still in the bedroom, it had been quiet, they were probably sleeping. Liam couldn't stand the thought of walking in to see her in Drake's arms, it had been hard enough just seeing her in his bed. Liam considered asking Hana to go wake them, but she had gone to find the Beaumont's. As Liam steeled his nerves and prepared to open the door Maxwell came bounding into the room.

“We're going to the palace? Where's Drake and Emma?”

“Drake is laying down. Lady Emma is also resting I believe.”

“I'll go check on them!” Maxwell went straight for the room and Liam panicked stepping in front of him.

“Why bother them before the motorcade is here. Drake had a long night and I believe Lady Emma is in the other room.” Maxwell looked around, there was no other room.

“Liam, I know.” Maxwell met Liam's gaze and Liam dragged a hand down his face.

“Does everyone know?”

“I don't think Bertrand knows.” Maxwell looked at Hana, she must have known if Liam was openly talking about it in front of her. “Olivia has an idea too, but we haven't told her.” Bertrand walked into the room silencing them all.

“I believe the motorcade is here to take us home. Bastien just pulled up in an SUV.” Bertrand looked around, suspicious of the sudden silence.

“Where's Lady Emma and Drake?”

“They're both resting, we’ll wake them now.” Hana and Maxwell turned as if they were going to wake them separately and Liam walked out with Bertrand. Hana stumbled onto the bedroom door where Drake and Emma were resting. They both looked so peaceful, she felt guilty waking them.

“Emma, Drake,” Hana whispered from the edge of the bed. Emma blinked awake first and panicked when she saw Hana.

“Shit. Hana! It's not what it looks like I swear.” She fumbled on her words until Maxwell slid up behind Hana. Emma sighed.

“So you know too?” Hana nodded.

“How?”

“Liam told me. I saw him fumbling with the engagement ring he gave you, something just felt off about it all though.” Emma nodded, they were working on it.

“What's wrong? Why are you both standing there?”

“It's time to go back to the palace. A motorcade came to pick us up.” Emma nodded.

“I'll wake him. We'll meet you out there.” They nodded and wandered their way out. Emma leaned over and gently kissed Drake on the lips. His lips curled into a smile before his eyes opened.

“Mmm. I like waking up to you kissing me.”

“We have to go Drake, they're taking us back to the palace.” Drake sighed and carefully sat up.

“Back to playing pretend.” Emma nodded and slipped Drake's ring off her finger, handing it back to him.

“Hold onto it for me until I get a chain for it.” Drake nodded and put the ring back in the velvet box.

“You know where to find me, whenever you want it, it's yours.” They grabbed the few things they had, Emma grabbed Cooper and they all climbed in to go back to the palace.

One morning she was awoken by a light knocking on her door, she hadn't slept all that well anyway. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Drake's lifeless body on the floor.

“Good morning, Emma.” Liam smiled at her, they had both apologized to each other after their fight at the safehouse and had a few days to cool down after all the action.

“Morning, Liam. Is everything okay?” It was unusual for Liam to be the one waking her up.

“Everything's fine. Bastien is holding a briefing about the shooting and I thought you might want to be there. I know it affected you quite a bit.” He noticed the dark circles beginning to form under her eyes.

“Thank you. I'll be out in just a minute.” Emma got dressed and threw on some makeup. Once she was ready, she followed Liam down the halls which were bustling with more staff than normal.

“Is this all for the festival?” Liam nodded.

“The Five Kingdoms Festival is a time-honored tradition in Cordonia, I considered canceling it this year because of everything that's happened...but I felt it would be a sign of strength to our enemies.” Emma nodded.

“It's a good plan. Having the King and other nobles present will be a clear act of defiance to those who attacked. How are you holding up by the way?” Liam sighed.

“I'm grateful that everyone made it out alive, but I regret that it even happened in the first place.” they strolled into a dining hall where the King Father and Bastien were waiting. Emma couldn't help but scan the room for Drake, she felt that he should have been there, he had been affected by the shooting more than any of them.

“Your Majesty, your Grace.” Bastien bows with obvious pain.

“Sit Bastien, you're still recovering.” Bastien gratefully took a seat.

“Thank you, your Majesty. I would like to apologize for the events of the Homecoming ball. I failed you all, I failed Cordonia. There never should have been an attack on the palace.”

“Please Bastien, I'm just glad you survived.” He gave Emma a weak smile.

“Me too. Especially Drake, you saved his life.” Emma smiled.

“I was only able to because he saved mine first and you got us out. Where is, Drake, by the way? Shouldn't he be here?” Bastien smiled back, genuinely smiled.

“He was still resting,” Liam said.

“You were very brave, but you shouldn't have been in that position in the first place. I've made arrangements for your increased security going forward. I promise that I won't rest until we've found these enemies.” A dark shadow crossing Bastien’s face. “Whoever they were, they were professionals, they left almost no evidence behind.”

“Bastien has been keeping tabs on the crowns enemies for years.” Suddenly it hit Emma, Liam had mentioned enemies but she didn't realize just how many there may be.

“How many is that exactly?” Emma's voice came out as barely a whisper, they were clearly capable and there were multiple ones.

“We've eliminated some over the years, the ones who were responsible for the previous attacks on my family included. However, there are still three groups with the resources available to carry out the attack on the ball.” Constantine's face turned into a scowl.

“The Liberation Core, an anti-monarchy group. They've grown bolder but never tried something of this magnitude.” Liam said.

“There's a new faction calling themselves the Sons of Earth, they aren't against the monarchy necessarily, but they disagree with some of the decisions I made while I was king. They want more international involvement.”

“We should also look into the Nevrakis family, given their history,” Bastien said. Emma felt like her head was spinning. She was beginning to understand Liam's concern in New York, but it was still all so much to take in at once, and the idea that Olivia's family could have possibly been behind it. She felt like she might be sick, she could hear the blood pounding in her ears as the conversation continued around her.

“No. It's not Olivia.” She blurted out. Everyone looked at her, surprised by the sudden outburst.

“She loves Liam, she would never do anything to hurt him.” Liam nodded in agreement.

“We did grow up together, I couldn't imagine her behind something like this.”

“I still can't eliminate her and her aunt as suspects but I will take it into consideration,” Bastien said. “It will take time to gather intelligence on them all though.”

“Yes the people are still reeling from the news, and I know those who were in the palace are still quite shaken.” Constantine gave Emma a worried glance.

“We hope to ease some of those fears at the press conference later today.” Liam glanced over at Emma and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Many nobles won't be attending the festival today. They're afraid to show the crown any support right now.” Constantine sighed.

“We have an announcement to make it the press conference that may change that,” Emma said making Constantine raised an eyebrow.

“We've decided to hold a unity tour. The wedding will be in a month and if they won't come to us, we can go to them. A visit from the King and future queen could be very persuasive.” Constantine mused for a moment.

“That's actually a wonderful idea. It will be the perfect event to bring the people of Cordonia together.” With nothing else to be discussed, Liam went to place the final touches on his statement for the press, and Emma headed back to her room to get ready for the festival. Before she could make it down the first hall, she caught a glimpse of a fist flying towards her. She ducked, just barely in time but the attacker was relentless. Her other fist came straight for Emma's face but she dodged it.

“What is-” Emma couldn't finish her question because the woman's leg was flying towards her in a roundhouse kick that Emma backed away from.

“Very good, your Grace. Room for improvement, but a good start!”

“Who the hell are you?” Emma asked breathing heavily.

“I'm Mara, haven't you haven't figured it out by now?”

“Bastien mentioned he made new security arrangements.” Mara smiled.

“Good, you're smart. I asked him to be vague so I could surprise you and see what I was working with.”

“So, do I just call you Mara ooooor?”

“Mara is fine.” Just then a door opened behind them and Liam came strolling up.

“I'm glad you've met Mara! I was hoping I could speak to you alone for a moment though?” Emma nodded and turned to give Mara a look but she had already gotten the hint.

“I know that it's not real but, it would help if we gave the people something else.” Emma stared at Liam confused.

“Engagement photos. Ana de Luca has agreed to take photos for us.” Yet another brilliant idea and all she could think about was how badly she wanted it with Drake.

“Sure. When is she coming?”

“Right now.”

“Shit. I don't have anything to wear Liam!”

“I had it taken care of. She's waiting for us in the ballroom.” Emma followed Liam when a thought crossed her mind.

“I never really had a say in this? In any of this, did I?” Liam sighed.

“If you don't want to take the pictures I can tell her you're not feeling well after the attack. As for the grand scheme of things, no it wouldn't have worked with anyone else.”

“I'm sorry. Let's go meet, Ana.” Emma really did feel bad, besides, it was just some more pictures in a fancy dress.

“Your Majesty, your Grace, I'm so glad you could make time for this. I'm sure the people will be happy to see this after everything that's happened.”

“Yes. There will be plenty to discuss at the press conference later today.”

“So Ana, I hear you have a dress for me?” Ana handed Emma a black dress bag which she took and slipped into a curtained off alcove to change. The dress was a white, three-quarter sleeve. Beaded lace hugged her body while the soft satin of it created the sleeves and train that sparkled if the light caught it just right. Emma was struck by how much it looked like a wedding dress. When she stepped out she saw Liam's eyes widen as he held out a bouquet of pink roses for her.

“You look stunning your Grace, now let's stand over here.” Ana directed them to the spot with the best lighting.

“Let's try a regal pose first.” Liam stood behind Emma, both of them felt stiff and awkward. Ana could sense it too, she had them shift poses to something more romantic but Emma couldn't feel less romantic at that moment. She felt like a fraud as she leaned up to give Liam a kiss on his cheek at the last second.

“So cute, but you can't see you're lovely face. Let's try one more.” Liam grabbed one of Emma's hands with one of his own gloved ones, both of them smiling for the camera though it didn't quite reach their eyes. Ana still gushed over the picture anyways.

“Absolutely beautiful. I can't wait to run these for Trend magazine.” Emma smiled and set the flowers down, looking at Liam.

“I have some business to attend to. I'm sorry to run out.” He gave her a silent thank you and she took off. She needed to get out of the palace, get some fresh air. The garden maze was Liam's place, she couldn't go there, instead, she found herself in the orchard. Once she hit the dirt she didn't stop running until she found a swing. She sat on it and took a few deep breaths.

“Barnes?” She spun around to find Drake approaching her worried. Shit, she thought.

“What's wrong? I saw you run by in a hurry. What are you doing out here?” When he got closer and really saw the dress he froze. Emma looked at him with watery eyes, so much for being out of tears.

“Nice dress.” He whispered.

“This could've been my wedding dress when I married you. Instead, I wore it for engagement photos with Liam. When did it all go to shit Drake?” She began sobbing and Drake came over, holding her against his chest as he tried to soothe her.

“While I was taking those pictures, all I could think about what how much I wanted to be taking those pictures with you, how I wanted to see your mouth drop open when you saw me in my wedding dress.” She sniveled.

“Barnes, if you think you don't have that effect on me in everything you wear then you're crazy. I don't care if we're married or not, I know that you're going to be mine forever no matter what.” Emma leaned back and looked up at Drake. She knew he was hurting too, he was being strong for her though.

“I love you.” She whispered. Drake wiped her tears.

“I love you too.” She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. Breathing in his familiar scent, relishing the feeling of his strong arms around her.

“Here is the lovely orchard.” Her eyes sprung open when she heard Liam's voice approaching. She broke free of Drake's grasp just as Liam and Ana rounded the corner.

“Oh, Lady Emma, Drake,” Liam was clearly surprised to see them, “I thought you had things to attend to before the press conference?”

“Yes. I needed to discuss some wedding arrangements with Drake.” She plastered on a smile and Drake followed her lead.

“With Mr.Walker?” Ana wasn't convinced.

“Yes. He's Liam's best friend and a very close friend of mine as well, naturally, he'll be an important part of the wedding. He has been super helpful in helping me plan some surprises for Liam.” Drake nodded in agreement.

“How charming. Oh, what a lovely place for a photo. Your Grace if you could sit on the swing.” Drake naturally moved up to stand behind her when Ana frowned.

“I'm sorry Mr.Walker, I want his Majesty to stand there.”

“Right, sorry.” Drake sulked off to the side and watched as the woman he loved took more engagement photos with his best friend. Drake could have seen himself standing where Liam was, taking his own engagement photos, if only he had spoken up. It killed him, seeing Emma in the white dress, Liam in his formal suit, it was a preview of the wedding day only a month away.

“Ana, perhaps you'd like a picture of Drake and Emma together since he's been so much help in planning and clearing her name,” Liam suggested, trying to make this easier for his friends.

“That's a lovely idea your Majesty. Drake, go stand where he was behind her Grace.” Drake left his injured shoulder at his side and put his other arm on the vine-covered rope of the swing. Ana snapped a picture then looked at the screen frowning.

“Drake, this feels too forced. Perhaps you could put your other arm on the swing too?” Drake tried and winced in pain.

“Why doesn't he put it on my waist, he was injured at the ball saving me.” Ana smiled.

“Yes, let's try that.” It looked better but Ana still wasn't pleased.

“It's still not quite right. You need to relax Mr.Walker.” Emma turned so just Drake could see her face. She mouthed “I love you” and his face broke out into a natural smile. Both of their smiles reached their eyes.

“It's perfect. What a great idea your Majesty. The light out here really make your eyes shine your Grace.” They all knew that wasn't really it though.

“Thank you. I really should get back to planning though.” Emma gracefully bowed out again and Drake followed while Liam continued his tour.

“I've got some time before the press conference and I was thinking…” she trailed off, “I could really use a new necklace. Maybe you could help me find the perfect chain and jewelry to adorn it?” She winked and Drake grinned at her.

“I don't have much experience with jewelry but I think I can help this time.” They went down to the palace boutique after she changed, but no matter how many chains Emma looked at none of them struck her as the right one. She was ready to give up when she saw it. In a dusty display case, a thin silver chain rested, it was longer than the others she had looked at.

“This is the one.” Emma bought the chain and practically dragged Drake out of the boutique.

“Woah, where's the fire?” She didn't stop until they got to her room. With one quick glance, she shoved Drake into the room and shut the door.

“Are you going to tell me what's going on?”

“Give me the ring.” Drake dug around in his pocket and took the ring out of its velvet box. Emma slipped it onto the chain and turned to Drake.

“Care to do the honors?” Drake grinned and took the necklace from her. He brushed her long blonde curls to the side, his touch sending shivers down her spine. He brought the necklace around the front and latched it, letting it fall against her chest. The ring hung below her shirt at the moment, but if she wore a plunging neckline, it would be seen. She reached up to admire the ring again while Drake gently kissed from her shoulder up her neck. Every kiss was like fire on her skin. She turned, tangling her fingers in his hair, just as her lips brushed his there was a loud banging on the door.

“The festival is starting and you still need to get dressed!” It was Maxwell. Drake groaned in frustration and stalked over to the door.

“You have the worst timing, Maxwell. I'll see you down there, Barnes.” Maxwell was startled and against his better judgment stole a glance into the room, but Emma was fully clothed.

“I interrupted something didn't I?” Emma sighed.

“Just a little yeah.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay, Maxwell. We're still figuring this out.”

  Tag List:  @princesstopgun @choicesyouplayandmore @leelee10898 @agent-bossypants @brightpinkpeppercorn @roonarific @indigo39@skyila@speedyoperarascalparty @andy-loves-corgis@furiousherringoperatortoad @blackwidow2721 

[violetsystems]

#personal

The weather is back to being amazing again.  This is the horrible curse about Chicago.  For maybe five or six months out of the year, the temperature is gorgeous if not sometimes extreme.  Now that the AC is on, my cat sleeps like a human in bed often.  A little human.  I wake up a few times a night to find her in different spots.  Mostly just waiting for me to feed her wet food in the morning.  I still feed the cat outside my door.  My immediate neighbors do as well.  I think when you think about common ground between people in society you have a good starting point there.  They share the porch here.  Sometimes it’s a little claustrophobic.  But it is never trans or homophobic.  I think people like myself who openly identify as straight and cis could do a better job at empathizing.  But people are already bothered enough by society to where I try to tread lightly as to how I do this.  Nobody wants to be patronized.  It’s tacky.  So it’s always the little things in this neighborhood that communicate the most.  Hanging a plant for your elderly neighbor.  Shoveling the snow early in the morning in the dead of winter.  In the summer, it’s a little easier to be patient with the ways people try to communicate.  And then there’s the glaringly obvious clues that people don’t really give a shit.  I went to do the laundry yesterday.  It’s a small building so not a lot of traffic down there.  The trash is usually filled with laundry supplies.  I went down there and somebody had deposited a U Kotex tampon box in the trash.  This act alone baffles me but it’s such a familiar thing.  I would call it a microaggression.  And here’s how I would explain it.  Back when I was shoveling the snow, somebody had scrawled a message in my immediate neighbor’s doorstep.  Part of it had been snowed over but the message I could read simply said “Gay people live here.”  I couldn’t tell who wrote it.  I worried that my neighbors didn’t.  In short, I cared silently about how this would be perceived.  So I erred on the side of being inclusive and shoveled it last.  Either way, it was information I could choose to respect or neglect.  Months later, finding a tampon box in the shared laundry room when you know some of your neighbor’s identify as nonbinary at the least is sus.  I did the same as I did back in winter.  I disposed of it before anyone got the wrong idea.  Again I’m no detective.  But it’s obvious to me people don’t care about how that might make somebody feel.  I do.  I don’t go knocking on somebody’s door and loudly exclaim “why are you throwing your tampon box in the trash?”  It could have been them for all I know.  So like I do often, I fix the situation before an incident arises.  And nobody knows it was me.  I know for a fact certain neighbors of mine are completely passive aggressive.  The couple behind me definitely gets off on not locking the gate behind them.  It just so happens my immediate neighbors and I are the ones who seem to get targeted for package theft.  I’m used to being targeted and smeared.  When I see other people getting fucked with it largely concerns me.  I can’t always erase the fact that people often play elaborate pranks on me in public.  Where I live and sleep is a different matter.  The problem with microaggressions in society is pretty simple.  Bullying never went away.  It’s normalized as a badge of courage.  A rite of passing in society.  A hazing and a reprogramming of sorts.  Some of us feel pressured by society to fight back.  To act up.  To tear down.  And then some of us have fought that battle alone for years only to be ostracized and explained away.  I spoke with a friend recently about being bored with Chicago and alienated.  They replied flippantly “Well everybody knows you aren’t really a big fan of being social.”  Everybody also knows I flew to Asia fourteen times by myself over a five year period.  The attention to detail only goes so far before it has jumped the shark.

Any sort of a sacred communication, writing or otherwise will eventually degrade into noise.  People in Chicago definitely don’t like you being you outside of a clearly, organized group.  I was reading something about Pride recently how the organizers did not want police involved at all.  It sounds like a no brainer to me.  Pride started as a riot.  A necessary response to oppression and repression.  As an aging straight white man I don’t really see myself at pride.  Neither do I see police belonging there as well.  And yet.  The police feel left out or something?  When Black Lives Matter makes a valid point about police being the number one threat to the very definition of the movement this is a threat how?  When you’ve had your civil rights shredded daily in broad daylight just being a regular person and I mouth the words ACAB all of the sudden I’m a threat to society?  Somehow me opening my mouth and speaking up for other people makes me a target.  And yet I do it pretty clearly and succinctly under my rights of freedom of speech.  It gets abused.  Toyed with.  Tampered with.  Just like any basic infiltration of any cool thing or movement here in America.  No matter how many years I see these people try to throw a wrench in independent movements thinking for themselves, I’m struck at how amateur they become.  America can’t have you thinking for yourself without supervision.  It bullies people into being afraid.  It infiltrates with a smile and a well meaning look only to poison the well and look back accusingly.  “Why aren’t you thirsty?”  It sticks it’s fucking nose into everything and acts like its the champion or savior when it has done nothing except play the villain.  Good cop.  Bad Cop.  Still a fucking cop.  And it doesn’t actually have a leg to stand on.  It uses other people to do it’s dirty work.  Pits movements against each other to neutralize dissent.  It takes over the core history and rewrites itself into the story as the main character.  It buried people’s authentic narratives in favor of lumping them into a moderated congregation.  It talks but never lets you speak.  When it does, it talks over you and mansplains everything you’ve been saying all along wrong.  It’s baked into the culture.  Traditional American doublespeak is an advancement of Orwellian lying.  People think they can smile so sweetly and say absolutely nothing of substance.  That these little pockets of resistance need to be ironed out and managed.  That autonomy isn’t an actual survival reflex.  Of all the people you know who have been fucked with and survived.  It’s me.  And I am just some normal dude on the internet.  And yet I can’t speak loud enough in mainstream society to get people to understand I have a point.  That people gaslight, gatekeep, and gestapo their way into putting you in your place.  The shit I’ve seen here in America let alone Chicago would have Germany in 1940 blushing.  And yet, I don’t really put up with any of it.  It’s fucking clown show level cosplay.  Rich people who think they can walk through walls of ethics, privacy and culture to throw around their weight.  People don’t like me these days because I interfere with them directly making a profit.  Imagine that.  I’ve been targeted for everything.  Made to look like I’m crazy, old and alone.  And now I have to deal with billionaires afraid of where I’ve invested my meager retirement funds.  And I deal with it everyday.  Sharks swimming around me in Teslas and T-Shirts trying to intimidate me into throwing in the towel.  After the towel was thrown at me repeatedly.  I can’t explain how ridiculous this is.  I can explain how insensitive it is to throw a fucking tampon in the laundry room when your neighbors are gender queer.  And then as an ally, people think it’s my job to confront this.  I do.  I put all in the trash where it belongs.  Where the racoons and my civil rights still dwell.  You don’t need these people in your business.  You don’t need to feel guilted by the oppressor into thinking there is something wrong with you not trusting authority.  They openly lie, plot and spread deceit.  So don’t let them into your scenes, movements or personal lives and move on.

This is easy to say when you live outside the blast radius of culture war.  I happen to enjoy the freedom of living in a city just as much as everybody.  It is something else to manage the personal and organizational politics therein.  New York to me is a little less pretentious and stuck up about the status quo than the midwest.  The midwest is clingy and clumsy about how it asserts it’s power in a vacuum.  And Chicago right now is just one huge lawless fucking vacuum.  I would love to write about it.  Maybe even sit down for a chat with the Mayor about how she plans to fuck up the next two years of being half in control.  But we all know I’ll never make it as a journalist.  I’ll never have the opportunity here to be acknowledged as a writer.  I’ll never be recognized for anything I’ve ever done because it would require an inconvenient truth to be brought out into the open.  You only make it in this town if you are connected.  You only get to be free if you let the powers that be have their say.  It’s only ok to survive if you are transparent in everything you do.  And when you are, your information is spread out to the point it’s a liability at best.  People already know everything about you including where you fit in the hierarchy of capitalism.  I belong on the outskirts with all the “freaks.”  Being bullied like it’s 1990 all over again.  These people never learned to be better.  So they simply get off on judging everybody else by their lackluster fucking standards.  You can stand up to them.  You can learn how to tell if someone is being genuine or trying to subvert your power.  You can say no.  You can not let these fuckers into your most trusted places and spaces.  And you can fuck with them back if they do.  For me, it’s not a good look for me to take the bait.  This entire process has been hopeless to me.  I have learned nothing good about how real society operates at its bitter core.  What I can tell you is this.  People tell you whatever they think will make you feel good.  And if you question their motives, they will make you feel guilty first before getting caught in a lie.  If you catch them in a lie, they act like you are crazy.  And this is the rhythm of how protest, resistance, and freedom is squelched in America.  Nobody is fighting back.  I would know.  Because I am literally exhausted making this point as an ally for years on the internet.  We need to organize and yet we’re too busy ripping each other apart.  We know we have common ground.  We know we connect in genuine ways still.  And people are scared to.  They’re just coming out of their shells.  I think the whole point of things like Pride were to create autonomous zones where people could feel free.  To feel like they weren’t judged or watched.  I know what it is like to be surveilled on levels I’m embarrassed to share.  I live that hell every day of my life for reasons unknown.  I don’t know how it was brought on me.  It hurts.  Every fucking day of my life to be watched and misunderstood.  I created a sacred space for myself to communicate this.  A place where I can be proud of who I was and talk about it.  A place where I could catch my breath and continue to resist and to think.  And there’s no shortage of right wing nuts who argue their stupid clubhouses need to be protected by a flag most people wipe their ass with.  Respect is a two way street.  I’m just directing traffic.  And I’m warning people around my neighborhood specifically.  I’ve seen the passive aggressive judgmental bullshit go too far and I’m not going to let it go by unnoticed.  I know just who is completely full of shit out here and why.  And people trust that I know because it’s my job to pay attention to detail.  I don’t get paid shit to be a good person.  But you don’t get away with being racist, homophobic, transphobic or any other shit like that on my watch.  I will let you know on site.  One tampon at a time.  <3 Tim

[jungnoir]

college boyfriend!joshua

a/n: special thanks to @choco-seventeen for giving me the idea of barista!josh which ended up being the best idea ever,,, get rdy to die yall

here it is, our long awaited gentleman of seventeen!! requested by this darling~

i’ve never written anything for josh (which is appalling) and seeing as he’s now,,, like a bias,, i mean i kinda have to don’t i

i’m going to pretend that a straight week of searching for joshua scenarios did not help encourage this

so, lovely josh has always had a love for animation

ever since he was a baby, he’s always found a joy in watching cartoons, so his parents always put on some colorful children’s movie for him whenever he got fussy, or when he’d wake in the middle of the night from a terrifying dream and he’d need some calming down

this kind of comfort of seeing characters of all colors, shapes and sizes gave joshua an abundant imagination as a child. he always found he liked the fantastical feeling of animation that live action didn’t really provide him

anything could happen in animation, and anyone could be anything and look anyway that they liked, which was part of the appeal for him

as he got older, he was exposed to anime (lol) and he found that he enjoyed the more mature animation just as much as the kind marketed for children

and he didn’t discriminate either! he could watch anything from tokyo ghoul and death note to your lie in april and haikyuu!! 

but his favorite kind of animation lied in the love of studio ghibli films

something about the wonder of each film enthralled joshua so much as a teen, bringing him the nostalgia of his childhood that he loved so much

to all of his friends in high school, they had always expected joshua to get a stable, lackluster office job and stay in california with his family, which, originally, was the plan

but the films had inspired him to take a leap, so after applying to a few universities in seoul and getting accepted to the good majority, josh finished up two years of college in california before packing up everything he had and all the money he’d saved from odd jobs through his high school/college career and booked a flight straight to seoul, south korea

he obviously wasn’t flying completely blind, as he did have a friend living there already by the name of vernon

long story short on how the two met, bonding over xbox live can lead to long-lasting friendships ok

after a few years of friendship, countless nights of Skype calls and planning to meet one day, joshua had taken the first step and vernon’s family were more than happy to let joshua stay with them until he could get onto his own two feet (not that there’s any rush!! vernon totally doesn’t mind having an older brother around)

joshua was no stranger to korea either, having been taught korean since a young age by his parents, so he was pretty much set to start his new life in korea, even if his parents were pretty sad to see him go so far and so soon

they knew joshua had been a good kid his whole life, and he was making sure every connection and plan he had for his new life was laid out just right so he wouldn’t make things hard on himself and his family, and that was all they could really ask of him

for the summer before school started in korea, vernon takes to making sure joshua is settled in and at least semi-good at making his way around seoul without a problem

there was that one time,,, where he did get lost for like five hours and showed up back at the chwe house with an assortment of baked goods and sweets and exclaiming that “this stuff is so much better than the stuff in california!!”

vernon: you realize that we all thought you were dead right

josh: *blink blink* hm? :)))

but i mean before vernon knows it, joshua is freakishly adapted to life there and he’s suddenly like a local, making friends with literally everyone he meets because everyone is so fascinated by the american boy!! yet it’s funny cause the way josh saw it, vernon was v similar to him in a lot of ways, so he was a lil overwhelmed to find all of vernon’s friends were like !!! a foreigner !!! tell us everything

and sure, vernon hadn’t been to america since he was about five except to visit family, but they were all sooooo excited to hear about things from joshua’s perspective compared to the younger boy’s

so josh obliged, always talking about his experiences overseas and the other kids would be like :o or :D because!!! to josh that was all just boring everyday stuff to him but to them this was all so cool and interesting, and the way they felt about america was the same way josh felt about korea tbh

after a year in college in seoul, joshua was well settled down at the school

since he’s like,,, one of the best english speakers in school (save for a handful of other students who were bilingual their whole lives, foreigners, or just really good at the subject asjdijisa) he’s always willing to help his friends out with english class projects and he coaches them by speaking to them in english at random intervals

like they’ll be having a completely korean conversation and then all of a sudden josh is like “explain the plot to howl’s moving castle in english” and they’re like o shit here we go

but it’s really helpful??? they all get amazing grades bc of his pop quizes

all hail english professor hong jisoo

but, ok, everyone is so confused because that’s….. not what he goes to college for

like he’s verbalized that he loves learning and that being an english teacher in korea would be great for him bc he loves to show people the joy of learning! but animation was his first love

he’s v passionate about it, and he’s made several short films where the characters were stylized after his friends and their experiences (with their permission of course)

he actually did one on jun’s story of coming to korea for the first time as a chinese transfer student and entered it in a small film contest and won!! and jun was so happy that he cried ok

joshua was on skype with jun to jun’s family back in china and they were all gushing about the film after josh emailed it to them

basically if joshua ever needs to flee to another country, jun’s home is open jun’s mom said joshua has privilege of jun’s room before jun does

despite being really good at animating though, joshua is actually kinda shy about showing his work. he’s even shy showing it to his friends with the exception of vernon and jeonghan, the latter of which passive-aggressively convinced joshua to do it and is now joshua’s biggest hype man

“jisooooo. jun got a movie and I didn’t??” “…what would a movie about you even be about? you don’t do anything but sleep” “it could have been about how much you love me!!”

to placate him joshua showed all the lil drawings of chibi!jeonghan joshua had done over the year and jeonghan wouldn’t stop smiling and hugging josh all day jfc

jk jk tho jeonghan is super supportive and whenever people ask him (or don’t. they usually don’t ask but whom the fuk cares jeonghan says) about joshua, jeonghan just guuuushes about the boy and all of his great art and shows them joshua’s v tentative instagram page of his art. there’s only a few pics of outlines and some small clips of films he puts together, but jeonghan will gas his boy up so bad you’d think joshua already had an oscar

on the side, joshua has a job at the campus coffee shop

and like,, idk if you understand just how much of an accumulator of revenue that boy’s face is??

joshua is pretty humble so whenever his friends tease him and say that most of the customers that come to the coffee shop are there for his face, he downright refuses

but i mean,,, it’s true,, the majority of customers come during joshua’s shifts

and if josh isn’t working, it’s like a funeral home

it gets so bad the school is like “do u wanna like work here forever bc we’re totally down with that”

josh is like “lol no”

but he’s really good at his job and not many ppl notice that!! some jealous dudes think the only reason ppl even buy coffee from the shop is bc josh is serving it and they’re deluding themselves into drinking it, but josh is actually an amazing barista

u kinda get creative with coffee when you’re living off of it to graduate ajsiodha

he’s also king of latte art don’t fight me on this

he was playing around in the back one day on his break when he got an idea to make some art in a latte, bc he was at a creative loss with his art on paper, and he just made this v simple couple of hearts here and there, and then suddenly he was making all kinds of designs that ppl loved

his favorite is a little cat design that is so friggin cute ok. everyone loves it

everyone except you,,, who had no idea this was even a thing

between classes on certain days, you have about two hours of free time to yourself, so you like to escape to your favorite coffee place to study and relax

you usually didn’t like to go during this certain time in the day bc the shop was always bustling with customers and you really rather preferred to be in a smaller crowd. so basically, you’ve never seen joshua

you haven’t even heard of him bc you’ve always been pretty in your head when it comes to your studying time

u basically zone out the minute you can smell the coffee beans

but a friend of yours held you up in your last class, so your two hour break diminished to fifteen minutes, and you still hadn’t had your coffee

you practically bolt toward the coffee shop, but your eyes bug out of your head when you notice that for once, there’s a huge crowd of students there, something that never happens when you’re there

so like, groaning internally, you force yourself into line before anyone else can get in front of you and delay you even further

but like… the line is moving at snail’s pace

you can barely see up front, all you know is that someone is taking their sweet time making coffees

in fact, 70% of your time is swallowed up just waiting for the line to move up

you’re jittery, knowing class starts soon and you already don’t have that much time to book it to your next class at this rate, but you have to have your coffee

finally,,, you reach the front….. and….

“hi there! what can I get you this lovely afternoon?”

in the words of jeonghan again, whom the fuk-

“u-hhuhhhuuu hhh ????” 

windows has shut down unexpectedly

this beautiful specimen of a man is smiling down at you without a worry in the world, blinking softly with the longest, prettiest eyelashes you’ve ever seen on a guy

his hair is short and well kept, roots dark and colored with highlights of chestnut throughout

he’s in the uniform but that’s really only black slacks and a half apron; he’s wearing a really nice baby blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and his collarbones are just slightly exposed with only two buttons undone at the collar- !!

“do you need a minute?” he asks, looking concerned at your vacant expression

that seems to snap you out of it (or maybe the frustrated swears from behind you do), and you sheepishly apologize, spitting out the first thing that comes to mind, which is definitely not your usual order, “small latte, please”

his eyes light up when you answer, “would you like the art too?”

you furrow your brows and he stares at you for a good moment before he realizes,, wow u really don’t know about his latte art? that’s literally all ppl come here during his shift for

but he does notice he’s never actually seen you during his shifts before

hmm. interesting

“i… i do latte art. it’s kind of… sort of a thing? i don’t know, um, would you like me to make you something in particular?” he says, suddenly a little flustered

you know. you know deep in your heart that you have zero time to spare and that you really shouldn’t be late for this class… but also,,, why the heck not

“surprise me!” you say softly, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding

joshua perks up and he nods (probably harder than he should have) and quickly puts in your order for your latte 

you quickly scoot to the side and another boy takes over in his place as he turns to make your coffee, and you can’t help but watch his calm, gentle hands as he prepares it

there’s no rush in him, no sloppiness detected, and you can tell he takes pride in his craft

he pours the steamed milk with no difficulty, pouring it with such smooth precision that it hypnotizes you, even as he’s half turned from you and you can barely see what he makes

it’s only when he’s done and handing over your coffee with a smile that you realize,, you’re holding a mug

you forgot to ask for a to-go cup!

but like,,, if you put it in a to-go cup now, it’ll ruin his art

yet, you’re so late for class already……..

he looks at you with even more concern when he just catches you staring at the small tulip etched into the surface of the coffee, and he’s about to ask if you’re alright when you suddenly smile at him and say “you’re beautiful”

in ur mind, you’ve just told him the art he made in your coffee was beautiful

it takes u like,, eight seconds to register that is not what you said AT ALL

but by the time you realize your mistake and wordlessly try to motion to the cup he’s already laughing gently behind his hand, eyes locked on yours, and when he’s done he says “i’m sorry, i’m not making fun of you… you’re just… very sweet. i hope you enjoy the coffee”

part of u still wants to correct yourself, maybe save some of your pride, but instead, you simply sigh and accept his compliment that low (high) key makes your heart beat a little faster, and you quickly whisper a “thanks again!!” before skedaddling

and josh just watches with a soft smile, and can’t seem to get the strange new customer out of his head even after his shift

he doesn’t even mention that you’ve stolen the mug when his co-worker asks about it in bewildered confusion

“just say I broke it” he tells him, and goes back to work like nothing happened

the next day, you come in much earlier and find that the shop is void of a crowd, much to your relief and quieter dismay

holding in your hands the mug that you had washed and stared at in disbelieving horror the whole night in your dorm, you walk up to the counter and hold out the mug to the cashier, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion when you start to ashamedly explain exactly how you had snuck out one of the mugs

but before you can even get anything out, josh suddenly appears from the back, tying his apron just as he spots you and he goes “oh!! hey, mug stealer”

your face flashes in mortification

“i swear it was an accident-” “don’t worry, no hard feelings. I already covered for you so I mean, it’s practically yours anyway. you didn’t have to bring it back”

but you still hold it out, sighing “it made me feel bad, ok? i can’t look at this shame cup anymore”

joshua snorts bc

shame cup

ur too fucking cute for him

“ok, well, let’s make it not so shameful” he says, carefully taking the mug from you and going over to the coffee machine “latte, right? same as usual?” he throw over his shoulder

the girl at the cashier actually knows you, has served you for the last few years, so she shakes her head and tells him that’s not your usual, which makes him a little surprised and he apologizes, saying that he’s since switched around shifts with someone else so he’s still adjusting, so he’s about to ask you what you usually get when you blurt “latte’s fine!” 

and ok, yeh, you’re not getting a latte for him of course

obviously

he just smiles that beautiful smile and gets to work, and the cashier gives you a small, very indiscreet wink much to your chagrin

you shuffle to the side and watch joshua work again, smiling as he gets ready to pour the milk, when he asks what kind of art you’d like

“can I have… wait, what are you good at?” “hm, well, my favorite is a kitty” “kitty it is!”

he quietly makes your kitty, lip tucked between his teeth and you can tell he’s working hard 

he sets the cup before you (this time in a foam cup, just in case you have to run and didn’t remember to tell him again), and watches with pride as you beam at the art, your eyes shining

before you even think about it, you’re whipping out your phone and snapping a photo of it for instagram, before you realize you don’t simply want to credit “random handsome campus barista” for something as beautiful as that

“what’s your name?” you ask, and joshua tells you, and you quickly type down his name in the caption before tapping the photo to add a tag “do you have a instagram?”

and though he rarely ever uses it unless jeonghan prompts him to, joshua spells out his username for you and you tag him successfully, posting the photo just as joshua’s back pocket vibrates with a notification

“thank you so much, joshua. you’re really good at this you know” 

and josh hears it from everyone a lot. all of his customers and co-workers compliment him often so it’s not like he’s unaware of his talent

but there’s just something about the fact that you complimented him that makes him blush, but he just bows a little at you and thanks you softly as you depart to find a table to start studying

of which,,, u do not do lol

even tho it’s barely 10 posts, you spend quite a while looking through joshua’s instagram

they’re mainly shots of his art, of which you soon find out that his major is animation and film development

the captions are v minimalist, but in the comments to his friends and others who’d found his insta, he’s cutely gushing with lots of exclamation marks and the like about how his work is coming along, having casual convos about the others and how their lives are going, and responding to compliments with v heartfelt thanks

because he doesn’t post much, you check the posts he’s tagged in and see a bunch of candid, secret pics of him from all kinds of funny angles, most from students and some parody ones from his friends

by the time you decide to check how much time you have left until your next class, you find you’ve got about a half hour to cram whatever you were going to study within two hours into half of one and get to your lecture on time

so as fast as your legs will allow, you quickly hit follow on his instagram and stuff everything you have back into your bag before sprinting out, missing joshua’s small goodbye and wave in your haste

he smiles anyway, and later when he gets off his shift, he checks his notifications and finds he has a new follower… you

he totally misses everything his professor says looking through your instagram for a good hour and a half

so it goes on like this for a while, you getting your coffee from josh now that half his adoring fans are usually in class when you go to see him, and the two of you casually chatting about this and that

he talks about his major, you talk about yours, and a pure friendship forms

with josh, you really feel like you can talk to him about anything and he understands

he speaks slow, soft, uses pretty words but they’re never overrated. he talks to you with the utmost respect and attention, 100% focused on you whenever you’re around. you’re honestly surprised no one has snatched him yet, what with how much of a catch he is

and like,, you know that anyone would kill to date him because not only is he talented and beautiful and a certified dorkozoid, he’s considerate, kind, feminine…. he almost feels untouched by this world and everything in it

maybe that’s why, you usually think. he’s a catch. anyone would be lucky to have him and you’re having regular chats over coffee and you can tell ppl are jealous

but he just feels too good for you. for anyone

you can’t think of one person on campus that would be good for him. not necessarily that there isn’t anyone… it’s just… who?

as months pass and winter gets colder, you find yourself feeling the effects of being single ten times more

so your friends are like!! are you still head over heels for that barista?? let’s set you up on a blind date to get your mind off it!!!

you’re only like 60% against it

because honestly, even though you’d do anything to work up the courage to date joshua, you wouldn’t mind getting a little dolled up for someone and having fun on a date

so your friends set you up with some guy who’d meet you at this italian place in the city on friday, and you anticipate the day, even telling josh about it when he has time to listen

“ahh… heh, a blind date? you must be super excited” 

instantly you can tell something is off with the way josh talks, but he still keeps that pleasant smile, even tho it doesn’t quite reach his eyes

for the next few days leading up until friday, josh feels a little more reserved to you, not as open as usual and somehow always a little out of it when he talks to you

even when you ask, he just smiles (and it is nothing like his real smile) and tells you he’s fine

so come friday, you’re all dressed up and you happen to walk past the campus coffee shop and see joshua going in for a late shift, so you wave to him on your way and

fuck

fuck

he can’t even manage to say anything, completely speechless as he sees how absolutely stunning you look

and how he wishes you’d turn into the shop, grab his hand and tell him you were excited for your date

but instead, you’re meeting someone else, and all he can hope is that they care about you half as much as he does. even half was a feat

he suddenly catches up to you before going in, grabbing your hand, and you blink up at him in confusion when he says “be careful. text me when you get there please? so i know you got there okay. and… and text me, or one of your friends on your way home, please. you don’t know who this guy is or what he might do. just… have fun. be careful.”

you look at josh, his eyes showing such worry and concern for your well being that you pull him into a quick hug, smiling into his chest as he lets out a sigh, “of course. i’ll be good. plus, i have a pocket knife and a full can of pepper spray just in case he tries to get one over on me”

he chuckles, feeling a lot more relaxed as he hugs you back, “let’s trust you come back with that can still full and that knife still clean, alright?”

eventually, he has to send you off, and you head to your date

you arrive by 6:55, having been told that he’d be there by 7, and so you anxiously look around, knowing you were supposed to be on the lookout for a guy in a navy blazer

but… all the guys in navy blazers are there with someone already

by the time it’s 7:30, the waiter has come by twice, asking if the other member of your party is coming

and by 8, you’re sure he’s not

so you begrudgingly order dinner, eat it in angered silence, and don’t even bother to text your friends he didn’t show. you get your leftovers boxed and order one slice of strawberry cheesecake and leave, your eyes stinging and your heart hurting, but you get back to the school just fine

and at first, you were going to just head back to your dorm. 

but you walk past the coffee shop, and you look through the windows to see it’s still open and josh is still inside, cleaning up and shutting down for the night

before you can think, you’re rushing inside, glad he hadn’t locked the doors, and as soon as josh looks up in surprise to see you, he’s shuffling out from behind the counter and scolding you with “you never told me if you arrived or not. why are you back so early? you look sad, (y/n). what happened? what did that bastard do-” “I have cheesecake. you want some? take it or leave it”

you look hurt, but you keep up the stony expression and he just quietly nods, following you to a booth in the very back

he says nothing as you take out the cheesecake, says nothing as you go into the back and grab two forks and hand him one, says nothing as you take the first piece and sigh, over-exaggeratedly praising the dessert

he says nothing because he knows better. instead, he just listens as you begin to babble about the day, about how excited you were for today all week, how your friends had gassed up your blind date so much and how you had spent two hours eating by yourself, too embarrassed to cry or even tell your friends

he watches as you quietly struggle to pick up a strawberry, the sauce drenched fruit slipping off your fork as your hand trembles with words unsaid

so, he slides out of the booth and into yours, slips an arm around your shoulders, and makes you put it down

“it’s okay. i’m here” he says softly into your ear, and you let it all out into his shoulder

all of your tears and makeup stain his shirt but he couldn’t care less, his only priority in holding you close and comforting you

he wants to beat up your blind date, make them feel terrible for ever passing up an opportunity to spend a night with you because gdi, you were amazing and lovely and he wished he was in that bastard’s shoes

you guys stay like that for a while, you simply relishing in his comfort and joshua wishing he could help you feel better, yet not knowing how

but then he gets an idea

“do you want me to show you how to make latte art? you mentioned you were interested once”

at first, you’re kind of like??? now of all times?? but you also can’t help wanting to get your mind off things, so he helps you slip out of the booth and leads you to the back in the kitchen

there you see his sketchbook and laptop up, seeing he had been working on something before he’d gone to clean up

he goes to get some coffee together while you look over his work, smiling when you see he’s intricately drawing a character at a booth in what looked like a coffee shop, but as you look at it longer, something starts to click

“josh?” you ask, and he hums, filling up a cup with some coffee “Is… is this me?”

he glances back at you and his eyes widen some when he sees what you’re looking at, but he turns back around to play it off before you can say anything “ah, yeah. i needed to warm up so… i thought of you and drew”

“this looks way too detailed for a warm up” you say with a smile, tracing your fingers over the drawing, half of it colored in, the other half still white parchment paper and blending in to the colors where they end

josh snorts, making his way over to you and closing the notebook, “look at you. you know me too well, it seems”

you simply nudge him and he places the coffee cup before you before handing you a metal cup of steamed milk, “so, we’re going to start out with making a simple heart. it’s really important how you guide your hand. i don’t expect it to be perfect, so just try, freely”

he hands you the cup and you nod, turning the spout toward the cup and trying to carefully pour in the shape of a heart, but it becomes a deformed swirl too soon

josh still smiles, telling you to attempt to fix your mistake, but you continue to find it hard, somehow making the swirl more prominent

“josh, please help me” you whine with a small smile, and he nods with a laugh, reaching his arms around you

and,,, you’re caged against the counter, his hand coming to rest above your own where you hold the milk, and his head leans down to whisper into your ear how you should pour, murmuring “it takes a bit of practice, but once you get it, it’s satisfying”

you can’t even focus on the damn coffee bc he’s so close sasjhnasi

he keeps whispering in your ear, helping you try to fix your mistake, and then he grabs a toothpick and starts to trace the swirl into something of a shape, looking a lot better than before

“see?” he whispers by your ear, smiling even as your heart beats so hard you bet he can hear it against your back “not so bad”

you turn your head slightly, only able to move so much with his arm around you and body behind you, keeping you practically pushed up against the counter

he just looks at you for a moment when he sees the look in your eyes, mouth going a little dry

it must be the moment, or maybe the mix of emotions you’d released earlier, because you can’t find the nervousness from before anywhere near when you knead your fingers into his shirt and pull him in to kiss

his lips taste like coffee and stolen sweets, and he moves his body only to turn you around for better access to your mouth, his large hands closing around your hips and squeezing

he’s careful but he is not shy. he kisses you like he’s been wanting to all night, and if you asked him, he’d tell you he had 

you get so caught up in his heady kiss that even when he lifts you onto the counter and pulls himself between your legs, you don’t stop to laugh or marvel at his strength you didn’t know he had. you just thank god that he’s closer

after a few moments, he ends up pulling away, your lips chasing his with a frustrated whine that has him nearly buckling under his weight “my boss will kill me if we make out in the kitchen”

“then let’s take it somewhere else, dummy”

joshua has never locked up the coffee shop faster

after that day, he finally asks you out, and of course, you say yes

your friends apologize to you, feeling absolutely terrible for what happened with the blind date, but you honestly couldn’t care less bc if you hadn’t been stood up, you may have never gotten the chance to kiss joshua

everyone, and i mean everyone can tell there’s something different about josh come monday

he’s so much more peppy, so much more friendly, he’s practically beaming like a ray of sunshine,, like more than usual

and it’s so obvious why when you come in, stealing a kiss from him when he gets your coffee to you before you leave

josh’s co-workers are like??? is this allowed?? wtf is this allowed????

joshua’s boss doesn’t care cause it’s FRICKIN CUTE

a majority of joshua’s suitors back off when they find out he’s taken, but of course they continue to come bc josh is amazing at making coffee and no one is petty enough to stop coming just bc he’s taken lol

if joshua was an amazing friend, he’s an even better boyfriend ok

turns out that one drawing of you in the coffee shop was not the only one

he draws you often, and his favorite you to draw is a cute lil chibi version which he swears is so cute bc like,,, u small

boy literally giggles whenever he thinks about it

you: it’s really not that funny josh-

joshua: YOU’RE SO SMALL

actually made a chibi ver of himself and animated your chibi selves to kiss

he sent you the video and you look at it before you go to sleep every night bc it’s so cute

is always hyped for animated films and you can never get him as excited for live action films

he goes absolutely nuts for disney and stuff but he’s also a fine tuned indie animated film connoisseur of course

sometimes he’ll be like “so i watched this film last night called blah blah blah and it was about blah blah blah and…” and you don’t know wth he’s talking bout sometimes but you just listen to him babble bc u love him

scolds u if you haven’t seen a particular movie/anime/cartoon and then proceeds to force you to watch it

but you actually end up liking them?? and some of them become your comfort movies just because they remind you of josh

will send you animated couples and be like “this is us”

even if you two have nothing in common with the characters? it could just be a cute scene and he’ll link it back to you two

jeonghan LOVES you…. and also will fight you for joshua’s attention but he still loves you

he prides himself on being “joshua’s best friend” but then you meet vernon and vernon is like “he was my best friend first” so you go from a love triangle to a love square

if you added in all of joshua’s admirers it’d be like a love….  enneacontakaipentagon

(that is a thing)

since it’s a lot to go back to america to meet josh’s family, you instead meet vernon’s family in place of them, who despite only knowing josh for a year feel like he’s their second son

they gush about how much they love him and his influence on vernon and vernon’s lil sister and it’s just,,, so precious

but you can tell he gets homesick sometimes, and when family holidays come, he gets particularly sad

vernon’s family works hard to make it easier on him so they set up a skype date with his family every holiday and you watch josh as he talks about how his graduation is coming up, how he can’t wait to visit them, how he misses his mom’s home cooking and how nice life is in seoul

he introduces you to them over skype as well and they’re so kind and lovely!! they absolutely spoil you with love and attention and only have lovely things to say about you

then one day, you get a call from vernon’s mother

she tells you that secretly, they’ve been setting up for joshua’s parents to come visit, and they want you to keep it secret, as well as keep joshua out of the house the day they arrive so he doesn’t catch on

which,, proves harder than you expect

even on spring break your lovely boyfriend only wants to stay in and catch up on shows with you so you have to literally drag him out of the house to hang with jeonghan and vernon at the mall

while you’re all out, joshua just happens to see a shirt while you’re all shopping

it’s a tank top with the word “california” written across it

and usually, josh would just ignore little things like that, but as he stands there, he starts thinking of home and his family who he misses like crazy

it’s not like him, but a few tears slip past his eyes before he wipes them away, attempting to hide it before one of you saw

you did, but you don’t say anything, instead hooking an arm with him and leading him elsewhere, practically bursting with the need to tell joshua what was awaiting him at home

you manage to keep it secret though, even as you smile wider than ever on your back to vernon’s house

of course,,, josh is highly concerned

“why are you smiling so much? what are you hiding?” “dang boy, can’t a girl just smile a lil bit” “not like that. your smile is too big. it’s creeping me out”

if you weren’t driving you might’ve socked him in the arm

you carefully pull up to the house and joshua’s eyebrows furrows when he notices vernon’s parents’ car is parked somewhere different than it was when you all left 

“v, did your parents go somewhere?” he asks, but vernon simply shrugs and follows a grinning jeonghan out of the car, leaving just you and him alone

he stares at you for a bit, the smile still on your face, and then looks back at the house, the wheels turning behind his eyes

“what are you waiting for? i don’t know about you, but I wanna meet the hongs sometime this week, thank you”

his eyes widen a little bit and you’re laughing as he tumbles out of the car, rushing toward the front door as you trail behind, hearing a chorus of elated screams before you enter the house

when you do, you see josh all wrapped up in between his parents, all three of them crying into each other as jeonghan, vernon, and vernon’s family watch with smiles just like yours

for the rest of the day, you spend it with josh and his family, catching up on all that they’ve missed along with getting to know the hongs personally

they’re just as sweet in person as they are over skype, and they absolutely love poking fun at josh to you whenever they get the chance

the sound of josh’s embarrassed “mooooooom” in the background as she tells you about josh’s anime phase and how she’d seen an episode of one of those shows and had to have a talk with him afterward

you: what were you watching, josh?

josh:… i have since refined my taste

by the time the night ends, you’ve got enough embarrassment fodder to last you months

“please don’t take anything my parents said seriously okay. they live to make my life terrible” he tells you over the phone that night, after vernon’s family told you it was getting far too late and you should be heading home

highest of keys, josh was hoping you’d stay so late that they’d let you sleep over but knowing he had two (2) sets of parents in the house now, they’d probably make vernon sleep between you two and that’s the closest you’d get throughout the night

“i don’t know about that. those baby stories were comedy gold” you grin into the phone, laying on your back and smiling up at the ceiling

he scoffs, “just wait till i meet your parents. they’ll tell me all the crazy stories and i’ll have so much blackmail i won’t even know what to do with” “isn’t it funny how i met your parents, who live in california, before you met mine who live here?”

he smiles into the phone, “’s okay. makes us a unique couple. i was starting to think we were far too daydreamy. almost feels like a movie.”

“i’m surprised you haven’t turned it into one, actually” you say, playing with your shirt hem as sleepiness starts to creep up on you and you let out a yawn

“i promise one day i’ll make a movie about us. now go to sleep, i’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

you yawn again but oblige, and you say your goodbyes before hanging up and laying down to fall asleep, a content smile on your face

but then your phone vibrates under your pillow not twenty minutes later

confused, you pull it out, and find a video message from joshua

carefully, you open it, unsure of what you’ll expect, but find a seemingly quickly drawn stop motion video of chibi!you and chibi!josh kissing each other’s cheeks

you smile tiredly, shaking your head at the boy, but as the video comes to an end, a speech bubble appears above chibi!josh’s head, his eyes turning into hearts as he speaks to chibi!you “i’ve been debating on when to say this for a while, but i’m proud to be the first of us to say it: i love you”

the video ends, and you giddily dial josh’s number once more, the boy picking up just as quickly as you had called

“yes?” he says softly, voice tinged with slight worry

but you just chuckle, “jerk. i wanted to say it first. now let me go to sleep… i love you too”

[x-oc-blog-x]

Inside Avas’ OCs

I got a questionnaire from mibba.com for my OCs

Oliver Asman

Basic

1. What is your full birth name? Oliver Lee Asman

2. Any nicknames? Oli

3. When were you born/how old are you? June 5. I’m 19

4. If immortal or slow-ageing, what is your apparent age? I’m human soo.

5. Where were you born?

The United States

6. Who were your parents? Cassie and Daniel Asman

7. Do you have any siblings? Yeah. He is 5. His name is Joel.

8. Where do you live now? At jacks house in the US

9. Who do you live with? Jackson Canmore and his mom.

10. Are you right or left-handed?

Left

11. What words/phrases do you regularly use? I definitely say sorry a lot.

12. Name some habits or strange quirks you have? I chew on hoodie strings. And my shirt sometimes. I know it’s gross

Appearance

13. Height: 5’ 7”

14. Weight: 147 pounds

15. Skin Tone: I’m tan

16. Body Shape: normal? I don’t know.

17. Hair: blonde quiff

18. Eyes: blue

19. Face Shape:what does this even mean?

20. Everyday Dress Style:I like to wear black jeans and a t shirt

21. Formal Dress Style:slacks and dress shirt.

22. Any Jewelry? A few bracelets just to fidget with really.

23. Any Scars? Just a few. Ive got some on my thigh. I don’t want to talk about it.

24. Tattoos? No.

Growing Up

25. How would you describe your childhood in general? It was okay. It could have been better. I was kicked out though. There was that.

26. What is your earliest memory?

My mom and dad arguing over money. He hit her.

27. How much schooling have you had? I graduated

28. Did you enjoy school?

Yeah. I got to spend time with friends. And jack

29. Where did you learn most of your skills/abilities?

School

30. Any role models while growing up? Not really until middle school. I really liked the flash. Jack made me watch it.

31. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I actually wanted to be a dinosaur. Then I wanted to be a teacher

32. What was your favourite thing to do? Play with dinosaur toys with jack. And when I grew up a bit I liked to write.

33. Were you popular?

No

34. Who were your friends?

Jack, Misha, Collin, Rex, Alex, Loni

35. When and who was your first kiss?

My first kiss was a girl named Maddie in 6th grade

Past Influences

36. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Moving in with jack when I got kicked out. That really influenced our friendship and helped us get together. And that was life changing.

37. Who has had the most influence on you? Jack.

38. What do you consider is your greatest achievement? Healing from being kicked out and not trying to reach out to my toxic family.

39. What is your greatest regret? Missing so many opportunities because of insecurity.

40. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I have no idea. I try not to do bad things.

41. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? No

42. When was the time you were the most frightened? When I was kicked out. I was so scared. My dad had me by the hair and was dragging and throwing me.

43. The most embarrassing moment of your life so far? I accidentally submitted one of my writings for an assignment instead of the actual assignment. My teacher was really confused.

44. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be and why? As much as I loved living with Jack and his mom, I wish I wouldn’t have come out to them. Maybe they would still talk to me.

45. What is your best memory? My first kiss. Jack and I were in the park. And without me even telling him I liked him, we both just kinda kissed.

46. What is your worst memory? Other than being kicked out, Being beat up in the bookstore. I didn’t do anything to them, but because I was holding hands with jack, they put put me in the hospital.

Beliefs and Opinions

47. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? I try to be an optimist.

48. What is your greatest fear?

Being alone

49. What are your religious views?

I believe in the Christian god. But I never go to church or anything.

50. Political views?

Not conservative.

51. Views on Sex?

Sex is a cool thing. Everyone is different with it, but it’s nice. I like it. I want to go more into detail but I really shouldn’t.

52. In your own opinion, what is the most evil thing someone could do?

Kick out their child for being lgbt+

53. Do you believe in Soul Mates/True love? I do.

54. What do you base success on?

Personal Achievements. I’m successful for finding a healthy relationship and getting out of a toxic situation. Other people are successful for getting past their bad pasts.

55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with yourself?

I try to push my feelings away. I don’t like negative emotions.

56. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with others?

I usually tell jack how I feel if I’m depressed because he likes to help.

57. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

Yes.

58. Is there anything you would absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances?

I’m sure there is. But I don’t know what they would be

59. Why would you refuse?

N/a

60. Who or what, if anything, would you die for?

I’d die for jack and his family. I’d die for my friends. Id die for the kids like me who don’t have anyone to go to because they were abandoned for who they are.

61. What do you feel the most passionate about?

Jack.

62. What one act are you most proud of?

Healing from bad things.

63. What one act are you most ashamed of?

Coming out to my parents.

64. Are you a leader or follower?

Follower

Relationships

65. In general, how do you treat people you don’t know well? I try to be nice to everyone.

66. How do you treat people you do know?

With respect.

67. Who do you respect the most and why?

Jack. He is a nice human who has been through bad days. And he is still the best and nicest person I know.

68. Who are your friends?

Misha, collin, Jack, Loni, Alex, and Rex.

69. Who is your best friend?

Jack

70. Ever been in love?

Obviously.

71. Who do you consider family?

Jack, Misha, Collin, Ms. Canmore

72. How close are you to your family?

I don’t talk to them. At all.

73. Who do you turn to in desperate times and why?

Jack. He has always been there for me.

74. Who do you trust to protect you and why? No one should have to protect me. But in the times that I needed it, Jack. Sorry if I keep saying his name for everything. He is everything to me.

75. Who do you despise the most and why?

My dad. He took me by my hair and threw me from our house because of my sexuality.

76. Do you tend to argue or avoid conflict? Avoid. My anxiety doesn’t like to fight.

77. Do you care what others think of you?

Yes.

Sex and Intimacy

78. Do you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, trans or something else?

Pansexual.

79. Do you have a significant other?

Yes.

80. Describe them: kind, smart, sweet, supportive, loving, and everything someone could want.

81. What is the perfect romantic date?

Going to the park and having lunch.

82. Best sexual partner?

Jack is the best. But he is the only person I’ve had sex with.

83. Worst sexual partner?

No one. Jack is the only person I’ve had sex with.

84. Worst thing you’ve done to someone you love?

I don’t know.

Likes and Dislikes

85. What is/are your favourite hobbies/pastimes?

I like to watch tv. And write.

86. What is your most prized possession?

The bracelet jack gave me.

87. Favourite colour?

Green

88. Favourite food?

Pizza

89. Favourite movie? Spider-Man: far from home

90. Favourite TV show?

Glee

91. What, if anything, do you like to read?

I like poems. Rupi Karar especially

92. What style of music do you like?

I like all music. Except country.

93. What is your idea of good entertainment? Books, tv, plays, etc.

94. Do you smoke?

No. It’s gross

95. Drink?

I don’t unless someone offers at like a party or something.

96. Drugs?

Nah.

97. Typical Friday night?

Cuddles with jack.

98. What would be the perfect gift for you?

Roses.

99. Rain or Sun and why? Rain. I like to feel the rain.

100. Day or Night and why?

Day. I like the sunrises and the sense of everyone having something to do in the light.

101. What makes you laugh?

Puns. Jokes.

102. What shocks/offends you?

Anti-lgbt people. People who deny human rights to others.

103. How do you deal with stress? I usually break down and cry.

104. Are you spontaneous, or do you feel you always need a plan?

I prefer plans to ease my anxiety.

105. Any pet peeves?

Nah.

Occupation/Study

106. Do you have a job or are you studying? I stay at home. I don’t do much. I sometime write for commission money.

107. If so, what is it/what course?

Writing.

108. Do you like it?

Yeah.

109. If studying/not working, where does your money come from? It doesn’t really.

110. What is your boss/teacher(s)/agent/publisher ect like? I am my boss that’s pretty cool.

111. What are your co-workers/other students like? Nope.

112. Do you get along with them? Nope.

113. What is something you had to learn that you hated?

Semicolons

114. Do you tend to save or spend your money?

Save

Misc.

115. Describe the routine of a normal day for you:

Wake up. Cuddle. Sometimes work. Eat. Cuddle. Blah blah.

116. What is your greatest strength?

Being able to pick myself up when I’m down

117. Greatest weakness?

Being so emotional

118. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I would want to look better. I think I could improve my face.

119. Introvert or Extrovert?

Introvert

120. Organised or messy?

Organized.

121. Three things you’re good at:

Writing, overthinking, and being a friend.

122. Three things you’re bad at:

Rationalizing, talking to strangers, and being alone

123. Do you like yourself?

Kinda

124. What is your life goal?

To be fully happy with who I am.

125. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Hopefully I’m married to jack. Maybe having a baby.

126. If you could choose, how would you want to die? With jack by my side. I don’t want to be alone.

127. Three things you would do with 24 hours left to live? Talk to my family and explain to them some things, tell Joel how important he is to the world, and to have some alone time with jack.

128. What is one thing you’d like to be remembered for after your death? Being a good person

129. Three words to describe your personality?

Awkward, caring, and nice.

130. Three words others use to describe your personality?

Awkward, horny, and fun😂

[stevenrogers5-blog]

Last Five Steven (Part 8)

Summary: It’s based off of the musical ‘The Last Five Years’. Steve proposes to you. You guys get married. But is married life what he wanted. Or is it what he thought would be better for you. In this fan-fiction, you will travel throughout past that leads up to the wedding. But you will also be met with the present times as their marriage progresses.

Word Count: 1,624

Warnings: Bad words... But cute Steve Fluff

A/N: Once again, my written series so sorry if it is not a fan favorite. Just trying to do a part 3 of strings and trying to write some more original stuff. SERIOUSLY SEND IN REQUESTS!! 

Past

You slam your apartment door shut, knocking down your stupid christmas lights around the door. You huff as you throw your bag on the floor, kicking your heels off and heading straight for the closet and bathroom, completely ignoring Steve’s presence. Once out of your waitress outfit and makeup, you sigh loudly as you fall onto the couch.

“Baby…” Steve says hesitantly.

“I fucking hate New York and all the people in it!!!” You scream into the pillow. Steve slowly makes his way to you as you flip your body over. He picks up your legs and sits down placing them in his lap.

“Talk to me” Steve says giving your legs a soft rub. You huff as you rubs your eyes trying to prevent the tears from coming out.

“I am a talented dancer! I am a talented person! Why am i still stuck at this shit job then?! My time window is slowly shrinking and i can’t seem to freaking figure out how to get my foot in the door!” You explain, the tears finally being released from their chamber. Steve gives you a sympathetic look before pulling you up by your arms. You sit up letting out a massive sigh. Steve wipes away the escaped tears before standing up and leaving the room. He comes back with some tinsel and wraps it around your neck.

“I have a story for you.” Steve starts.

“Please no Steve, i am not in the mood.” You huff about to take the tinsel off before Steve’s hand stops you.

“I call the story the Schmuel, the tailor of Klimovich. Schmuel would work till half-past ten at his tailor shop in Klimovich. Get up at dawn and start again with the hems and pins and twist. Forty-one years had come and gone at his tailor shop in Klimovich. Watching the winters soldier on, there was one thing Schmuel missed.” Steve began as he lifts you off the couch and set you on the counter in the kitchen. He proceeded to hand you a cup of hot chocolate with peppermint liquor in it. You smile slightly as you take a sip of the warm liquid.

“Steven i do not know how this is suppose to help me feel better” You whine before Steve put his hand up to signal for you to be quiet.

“ ‘If I only had time,’ old Schmuel said. ‘I would build the dress that's in my head. A dress to fire. The mad desire of girls from here to Minsk. But I have no more hours left to sew’ Then the clock upon the wall began to glow…” Steve trailed off as the he turned the lights on behind the grandfather clock that was sitting next to the front door. You laugh as he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Those look lovely Steven” You say, nodding your head towards the lights. He smiles as he picks you up and sets you on the ground and drags you through the kitchen, turning the lights on through there.

“Oh but darling my story is not over. For the clock said ‘ Oh Schmuel you will get to be happy. For i give you unlimited time!” Steve drags you to your shared living room and sits you once again on the couch. You cross your legs and he turns the fireplace on. You watch the light engulf the stockings that you had hung up a few days ago. “ ‘So Shmuel go, sew!, and be happy!. Old Schmuel waved his hands at the clock and proceed to say ‘ No, it is not my lot. I’ve gotta make do with the time i have left’. So it was half past ten and schmuel called out ‘ Goodnight Klimovich’. He then proceeded to put his jacket and head towards the door” Steve says and he wraps a blanket around you and carries you to your craft room. He places you down on your chair and your bring a leg up to your chest

“Please tell me that th-”

“The clock cries out ‘Wait! Not yet! Even though you're not wise or rich you're the finest man in Klimovich. Listen up, Schmuel make one stitch and you'll see what you get’ But Schmuel stated ‘ It is much too late for me. I am at peace with my destiny and and i accepted how my life has turned out.’ But the clock cut him off, crying out ‘ Schmuel! One stitch and you will unlock all of your dreams.’” Steve says as he grabs one of your needles and pulls some thread through it. You huff out hoping and praying he doesn't ruin anything in your room.

“Steven” you warn as he steps closer to the dress you had been currently working on.

“So Schmuel put the thread through the needle's eye. And the moon looked down upon him. And he pushed the thread through the velvet black material. And as he turned his attention away for a second, the clock was starting to turn back in time. So he grabbed his shears and he cut some lace as the old hands moved left on the beautiful clock's face. And his fingers flew and the fabric swirled, it was becoming to be nine-fifteen all around the world. Every cut and stitch was a perfect fit as if God were controlling the needle himself!” Steve exclaims, pretending to sew into your dress, throwing tinsel and ribbon around the room. You laugh, wrapping the blanket around your body.

“I swear you are going to be the death of me Steven” You mumble, admiring your boyfriend dancing around the room.

“So Schmuel cried out through a rush of tears ‘Take me back! Take me back all forty-one years!’ And on he went sewing as the silent street awake with his cries. Schmuel's dress was at last complete. And he stretched his arms, and he closed his eyes. And the morning sun finally started to rise. And the dress he made on that endless night was a dress that would make any soul take flight. And sewn into the seams was forty one seasons of dreams that were slowly starting to come real.” Steve stopped his motion and turned to look at you with soft eyes, before placing the needle down. He kneeled down in front of you and took your hands in his.

“What?” You whisper before he kisses you softly and quickly.

“It was the very dress, as the papers stated, was a dress a beautiful woman wore. She claimed her love for young Schmuel who had only presented her that dress that morning with a soft knock on her kitchen door. Many had dreamed and prayed to get out of Klimovich, but none have succeeded” Steve says as he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. You smile sweetly at him as you place your hand lovingly on his face. “Maybe it’s that you are afraid to go out onto a limb-ovich” You laugh “Maybe your heart is completely swayed that you aren’t talented, but your mind can’t agree. How can i show you that you are the woman who inspires me everyday i wake up?”

You feel tears slowly creep into your eyes again, not like the ones like before.

“I don’t think that this time is when you should let your fears persuade when your time is up! Say goodbye to wiping ashtrays at the bar! And say hello to Y/F/N Y/L/N, the big-time star!” Steve exclaims as he takes the blanket off of you. He then swiftly throws you over his shoulder and proceeds to dance out of the room, back into your kitchen. “Oh baby, you get to be happy! I give you unlimited time!! Stop temping and go, Go!, be happy!!” You squeal in happiness as he sets you back down on the counter.

“Oh Steven” You exclaim as he pulls out papers of information for a headshot guy and advertisements for wanted actresses.

“Seriously Y/N, here's a headshot guy and a new BackStage where you're right for something on every page.Take a breath, take a step, take a chance, take your time. I know how talented you really are, now it’s time to show the world and yourself how talented you are!” Steve says, stepping in between your legs. You at him with most loving look before kissing him. Steve pulls his face away but not to far as he still wants to keep you in his arms. “I want the world to see my beautiful yet hard working freak of a girlfriend i have.”

You laugh at his words. He watches your face conform to your laugh, letting his admiration for you take over his every muscle.

“Steven, you are the most amazing man any girl would ask for. How anyone survives a life without you is beyond me.” You say as the tears once again slip from your eyes. He wipes them away before setting you on the ground. He leads you back to the couch and sits down. You sit in his lap, cuddling with him and sighing in pure contentment. He rubs your back before breaking the silence once again,

“Have i mentioned today, how lucky i am to be in love with you?” Steve whispers into your ear. You turn to face him and smile before connecting your lips for one more kiss. This time it is your turn to pull away, thus leading him to lean his forehead against yours,

“I love you too Steven.” You whisper before sliding down into his lap. He wraps his arms around you as you both sit in silence, watching the light from the fireplace playing across the walls.