#i’ve been playing on and off since hw came out but i keep starting new characters so i’m making lore and backstory for this one

[bottleoflemons]

[miioouu]

Headcanons (for Deku, Bakugou and Kirishima) where theyre pretty close to their crush who started noticeably hiding a secret, suddenly hanging out with someone else. Turns out they wanted to learn a new skill to impress them. Something small but doable (like learning the ukulele or some other thing)

We want to impress the bois👏👏 Thank you for requesting!! ❤️💜❤️

Midoriya Izuku 💚

- You two were close friends since the beginning of the year.

- You were best friends, never hiding anything from the other, even your most embarrassing stories!

- But lately, you began to feel something for the green haired boy.

- Your heart seemed to beat faster around him, you'd often get jealous, something you never felt before for him, whenever he'd pay more attention to someone else other than you.

- Secretly, he was feeling the same, but he thought he'd never get a chance with you, so he buried his feelings deep inside, ignoring them.

- But you weren't like him, you wanted to impress him.

- Knowing him for as long as you had, you realized Deku's amazing drawing skills! So you decided, that maybe if you got better at this creative hobby, it would earn his attention.

- So now you started hanging out with one of you artist friends from the Support Department, thus making deku feel a bit left out.

- And everytime he'd ask you about it, you just ignore him changing the subject, or straight out lie.

- Even though he was pretty hurt that you were keeping something from him, he never pushed you to tell him, knowing it was something you wanted to keep private and he respected that.

- One day, after having ignoring him a whole week, you ran up to him, giving him a hug.

- He was surprised, what has gotten into you y/n? One day you never talk to him, the other you show him so much attentin.

-"Dekuuu, I know I've been treating you badly lately, but it's for a good reason! I swear!"

- You'd reach into you backpack, pulling out a piece of paper. After asking him multiple times if he was prepared to see what you've been so busy doing and teasing him about it, you finally gave him the paper.

- Smile stretching on his face, eyes lit up and red cheeks, hw couldn't believe what was before him. It was a magnificent painting of the both you.

- After you've explained to him that you've been working on it with the help of your friend, everything clicked, why you were always so tired, why you'd ignored him so often.

-"I just wanted to impress you Deku!"

-And you did, he now has the painting framed in his bedroom, always looking at it when he felt down. One day, soon, his bedroom would be filled with pictures and paintings from you. But first he needs to confess.

Bakugou Katsuki 🧡

-Were you two friends? No? Best friends? Meh, that's closer. You two were best friends for ever and ever and ever and....

-Well that's what you told people. It wasn't a lie, but maybe you were exaggerating a bit.

- And maybe, everytime you'd mention it, it would truly pull at our angry boy's heart.

- Was he being friendzoned? Why does he care anyway, you were just a random person, nothing special about you.

- Well, except your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your sweet voice....

-Fine ok, you are special and he is in love with you! But he will never, ever admit it.

-But you didn't know that, and you really didn't know that Bakugou was that simple of a man.

-Thinking you needed to impress him to catch his heart, you always spent days daydreaming about how you'll do it.

- Finally in class, while everyone was talking about some concert or something. It hit you!

-Bakugo was really into music. Everyday he'd come to class with his earphones on, and when he's in a good mood he'd quietly hum his favorite song. (ok but emo music was so junior high bakugo, now he's into jazz, disco, electro type of music I will NOT accept any criticism thank you)

-So maybe a way to get his attention, was to impress him with something he is passionate about, music!

- So why not ask Pikapika to help you learn the guitar? Nothing bad can happen, right?

-Oh but were you so wrong, so so wrong.

-Learning a new instrument took way too much of your time, and wanting to be decent at it, you'd practice extra time, which meant spending more time with Kaminari.

-Now you saw nothing wrong with that, enjoying his company, and the way he hypes you up to make the explosive boy head over heels for you.

-But Bakugou did. What are you always doing with Denki? And why aren't you telling him? Were you keeping secrets from him? HOW DARE YOU?

-Well he let it slide, but not without shading you every once in a while. But he had enough of your little secret when he saw you walking out of Kaminari's room late one night.

-He wanted to kill him, murder him with his own two hands. And you? Why didn't you tell him damn it?!

- He returned to his room for he wanted to be alone with his thoughts after being betrayed by his owns friends.

-But he didn't get the chance as you came barging into his bedroom.

-"Katsukiiiii wanna hear what i learned on the guitar? Of course you do silly why am i even asking?!"

- You didn't even give him time to yell at you for coming to his room that late, to kick you out and tell you to go back to your secret boyfriend, as you excitedly began playing his favorite song.

-It wasn't perfect, but he couldn't help but find it so cute when your brows frowned in concentration, and thr way your little tongue sticked out on a particularly hard note.

- As you finnished, you looked up to him, trying to detect a reaction from him. As much as he wanted to praise you, he couldn't get pass the fact that there's something between you and Kaminari.

- When you asked him about it, and he shouted at you that he couldn't believe that you kept your relationship a secret from him, you put the guitar down, and explained to him that no, you're not in a relationship with electric boy, and you were just learning guitar from him so you can catch his attention, he never felt so stupid.

-"You don't need to learn any new skill to make me fall for you y/n. I already have..."

Kirishima Eijiro ❤️

- Kirishima was everyone's friends, but it took someone special to be his best friend.

- And luckly for you, you had that unique something that made you, not only his best friend, but the redhead slowly starting to develop feelings for you.

-He found you perfect, but he was still too insecure to actually tell you that.

- On the other hand, you were also head over heels for the boy, but how could you not?

- His angelic laugh, his sweet smile and his soft eyes everytime you looked at each didn't help with trying to get rid of those feelings.

- After the realization of being in love with your best friend finally came slow and clear, you decided to act up on your crush.

- You had no idea how Kirishima felt about you, you were just his friend nothing more.

- But you wanted to impress him, maybe he'll start seeing you in diffrent way.

- What's something that could impress him though?

- Manly stuff, manly stuff, manly stuff... What does even mean Kiri?!

-How were you to catch his attention if you didn't know "manly" activities.

- It was untill the both of you were training that you figured it out! He'd be so so shocked if he see you wight lifting.

- But ugh what a paiiin, it was really difficult and you don't think you're able to do that without someone yelling your head off to keep going.

- Oh well that's easy to find, smirking, you approached Bakugo whonwas looking at you suspiciously.

- You explained to him how important it is for him to help you, and you may or may not have accused him and blamed him "you don't want to see me happy? You want me to die alone I knew it!"

- Oh my god you're so dramatic, he had enough with your cries so he finally gave in and accepted to help you.

- But with that, it meant spending less time with Ei, which confused him.

-Are you mad at him? Did you decide that he wasn't good enough to be your friend? Have you realized how much of a loser he is and his friend is much better?

- You did see how down Kirishima looked lately, thus deciding to train harder and finally show him your impressive new skill.

- But it actually made things worse, he's been seeing you with Katsuki almost everyday, ditching him to go to the gym with the blond instead him.... Are you... Are you in love with Bakugou?

-How did that happen? And why was Katsuki betraying him? Should he let it slide or have a talk with you?

- The day he decided to face you, you planed to show him, insisting that he'd come to the gym with you.

-"Look what Baku has been teaching me!"

- You'd pick up one of the heaviest weight, eyes never leaving his form to see his reaction.

-To say he was impressed was ana understatement.

-"So that's what you were doing with Katsuki? I thought.... I thought you were ditching me for him..."

-His words stung, is this what you made him feel like? Is this why he was so sad recently?

- After reassuring him, that you would never, ever ditch him for anyone and that you were doing all of this to surprise him and maybe see you as more than a friend. He couldn't believe his ears, running up to you giving you the biggest hug.

-"y/n you know how much i like you! You didn't have to try!"

[suggiebabe]

hi there! so um, i've been seeing a lot of tiktok videos in which hawks is cheating on his s/o and getting caught by them. i was wondering if you would be so kind as to make a fic about it? 🥺👉👈 i'm really curious on how it's gonna play out (it's up to you if you want it to have a happy ending). thank you!!

Please Believe Me!

A/N: Not @ me saying I would post last weekend, then not posting an actual fic like a whole week later......... My deepest apologies... but I once again, have little hw, so let's see how this weekend plays out!!!!! I do gotta learn some new music and work on some club stuff tho, pls wish me luck in keeping my motivation <3

Pairing: Hawks x Reader

Word count: 807 > Bad Ending & 979 > Good Ending

Warnings: ANGST!!! Cursing, Cheating but with both a good and bad ending hehe

It was your 9 month anniversary with Keigo, and you could not hold in your excitement when your boss told you could leave work early that day. On your way home you decided that you should get him a gift too, maybe some candy or a cake, since the two of you decided that getting each other anniversary gifts that cant be eaten was just too complicated. 

When you walked into the cake shop, you couldn't help but smile at the memories it brought. Looking over at the booth that you and your boyfriend sat at when you first came here, chuckling at the time he spilled his coffee on his lap, almost getting burned. When it was your turn to order, you quickly ordered the cake you remembered that he liked, and left the shop with the biggest smile on your face.

The walk home seemed to last longer than it usually would. You thought running, but decided that it wouldn’t be good to show up to the house out of breath, and with the cake all bumped around. 

When you finally reached your doorstep, you placed the cake on the floor along with your things and scurried through your bad for the house key. When you finally found it and tried to unlock the door, you noticed it was already unlocked. Confused, you picked all your things up and walked inside. 

Your stomach sunk at the sight of some small shoes sitting sloppily in front of you. As if the person that took them off was doing it in a hurry. You were frozen in place, the thought of another girl being in your house while you weren’t home, making you insanely uncomfortable. 

You walked in further and set the cake on the table. Silence filled your shared apartment, not a sound to be heard. You walked around looking for the owner of the petite shoes, and when you reach your shared bedroom, your heart fell on the floor. 

Keigo was in bed, but not alone. A small girl was lying next to him. And much to your surprise, they both seemed to not have any clothes on. Tears filled your eyes as the situation marinated in your head. 

You stood at the door, frozen in place once again, and quietly called out his name.

“Keigo...” You said brokenly. The sound of your voice stirred him from his sleep, and he opened his eyes to see you standing at the doorway of your room. He immediately shot up from his position with a shocked look on his face. 

“Babe? W-what are you doing back from work so early? You on lunch break or something?...” He said frantically searching for some pants to put on, looking up once and a while to see if you would move from your position, which you didn't. 

You nodded your head slowly, “Y-yeah... boss let me go home early, since I told him it was our anniversary today...”  Your voice was quiet, and he could hear the hurt in your words. Guilt stabbed through his hear when you mentioned that it was your anniversary, he had completely forgotten, making his guilt build up even more. 

“Shit... babe... I-” “Don’t call me that.” You interrupted him, “You cheated on me, and on our anniversary too? Did these 9 months mean nothing to you? Was it all one-sided?” You started bawling, falling to your knees, the pain in your chest felt terrible. It felt like your heart was actually getting torn in half.

“No. It wasn’t. Y/N I love you, please believe me when I say th-” “YOU LOVE ME? THE FUCK KIND OF LOVE IS THIS?” You yelled, the sadness now turning into anger. You stood up and marched towards him. “If you loved me, then what the fuck is she doing in the bed next to you?” You pointed to the now awake girl sitting up with the blanket covering her chest. 

“And you, get the fuck out of my house.” You spat out at her. To which she listened to you and left as soon as possible. Looking back over at Keigo, you wiped the remaining tears out of your eyes and shoved your finger in his chest. 

“You have 30 minutes to pack your things and get out of here.” As you were going to walk away, you felt him grab your wrist. “YN, c’mon let's talk this out!” You could hear the guilt in his voice, but that didn’t mean he didn’t cheat on you. You shook off his wrist and scoffed at his attempt to save himself. “Keigo, save the embarrassment, and just leave...” The tears started to weld up in your eyes again, but you knew to break up with him would be the best choice in the end. 

It was only up from here. 

Not wanting to see the painful sight anymore, you walked out of the room and got your stuff together. You decided you were going to leave without saying a word. The thought of talking to him made your heart ache, you didn’t want to hear any excuse he could come up with. 

Taking one last look at the cake on the counter, you put your shoes on and closed the door behind you. You planned on going to your best friend’s (Asui) house since you couldn't think of anywhere else to go. You moved out here because of him. You’re lucky you were able to make friends at work, you even managed to get a best friend. 

When you got to your Asui's house, you fell into her arms and cried. Understanding your situation, she decided it would be best not to ask you for the details. She tried to get your mind off of things by watching movies and eating your favorite snacks. She also took your phone away so you wouldn't notice how much Keigo had been calling and messaging you.

After a week of living with her, the two of you decided that should go grocery shopping since your food was running low, and you two couldn’t live off of fast food forever. 

While at the store, you two were walking around the aisles getting whatever you needed. As the two of you were walking down the frozen foods aisle, Asui brought up how she wanted to go back and get some more chips, to which you agreed with and asked her to get you some too. When she left, you continued to look around.

A pack of frozen fruit caught your eye, and as much as you tried to reach up, you couldn't reach it. Now, you weren't that short, but that shelf seemed higher than it should've been. As you struggled to get your fruit, a red feather flew by and pushed it down to you. You caught it, and held it in your hands, not wanting to turn around to see the man that made your heart break. 

You felt a hand grab your shoulder and slowly turn you around. Looking at the floor, you saw a pair of familiar black sneakers. They slowly moved closer to you, and you felt the familiar warm brace of your ex-boyfriend. You would be lying to say you didn’t miss it. 

“Y/N... I... I’m so sorry,” he sounded like he was starting to cry as he pressed his head into your neck, “this week... It was so hard without you... please... please can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I missed you so much...” His voice sounded broken. As much as you wanted to decline his request, your heart longed for him, and you just had to give in. 

Tears started to run down your face as you hugged him back. Once he felt your arms wrap around him, he squeezed you tighter. “K-Keigo... I... I missed you too...” Once you muttered out those words, you realized how true they were. 

The moment was interrupted by Asui clearing her throat, making the both of you look over at her. She stood next to your cart tapping her foot with her arms crossed over her chest. When your eyes met hers, you lightly smiled, and she rolled her eyes

“Ugh. You two are idiots.” She walked over to Keigo and shoved a finger in his chest. “If you even think about hurting her again, you’re going to pay for it, bird brain.”

He chuckled at the nickname and nodded. 

“You have my word.”

Another A/N: I’ve been writing this request and another in between classes, I hope you enjoy it!!!!!! When you said I could pick the ending, I was like “well I want happy, but WHY NOT BOTH???”

[et-lesailes]

missing linc // chapter four

series masterlist

pairing: ceo!dad!steve x reader

word count: 2800

chapter summary: reader doesn’t hear from steve ever since the phone call until he gets drunk one night and decides to come forth about his feelings.

taglist:  @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade, @melannie77, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @honeyloverogers, @capsiclesdoll, @qrndevans, @mcueveryday, @drkstrangeson, @bangtan-serendipity, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyiamthatbitch, @captainscanadian, @kaithezaftig, @morganhoran1671, @booktease21, @hista-girl, @steeeeverogers, @okilover02, @collete04, @sadella-adams, @rumoured-whispers, @aletteredaffair, @shannon124, @isawritesstories, @knuffeltuff, @wxntersoldiers, @kelbabyblue, @macgruberrr, @troublermalik, @deepmuffinspymaker,  @societalfailure, @brastrangled, @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall, @anxiousstark, @captainsbxbygirl, @barbar126

notes: it’s finally here! i’m posting this in a bit of a rush, i’ve got a million things to do today and a 4 hour drive to look forward to... i’m also gonna tell you guys now that ch 5 might take a few days more than usual, i’m still thinking about which direction i want to take this story and i would rather take my time than have it be rushed! 

** concerning the taglist: i’m super duper touched n happy that so many people are requesting to be added, but i will say that it is a LOT of work to go through and tag each one of you. unfortunately copy pasting does not work with tumblr notifs for some reason. and so if i’m starting to notice people who are on this taglist and not interacting with this fic (liking, replying, reblogging, etc.) i will start removing those people. but thank you so much to the ones who do interact, it means the world to me!

“Are you fucking kidding me, Tiana? You knew she was coming over, and you really thought having your boyfriend’s tongue shoved down your throat in front of the biggest fucking window of my house was a good idea?”

“She came thirty minutes early, Steve! How could I have known? David had been right about to leave just so it wouldn’t cause any problems when she came!”

“Well it fucking did. How did you even cover that up, anyways?”

“I just told her he was over for work. At the time, I didn’t know she saw me, okay? Steve, you need to fix this.”

The businessman scoffed, running a hand through his hair in frustration as he paced the empty conference room back and forth. “This is not my thing to fix, Tiana, this is all you. If it were up to me and if you actually listened to me, there wouldn’t have even been anything to hide. You and David could be fucking like goddamn rabbits in your own fucking front yard if you wanted to, if you had just been willing to get a fucking divorce.”

There was silence on the phone, and Steve knew she was starting to cry. He knew her too well by now, he did not even need to hear any choked sobs or sniffs. They had been together since they were twenty-five, after all; as much as neither of them wanted to know the other inside and out, they did. 

“How does this not hurt you at all, Steve? How are you just-- how are you so fucking okay with me sleeping with another guy? You don’t even want to fight for me?”

“Don’t start this conversation again, Tiana.”

“I need to fucking know! What suddenly became so fucking unattractive about me that you didn’t want to be with me anymore? That you decided you didn’t love me anymore, after being together for over ten fucking years?”

“I don’t fucking know what it is, Tiana, I just know the feelings aren’t there anymore!” his voice was practically a roar now, the male completely heated upon having this argument for what felt like the millionth time. “And I know they weren’t for you, either! Yeah, I know I fucked up, but I did it because I could tell you had fallen out of love too, and you know that! And I know, that’s no excuse for what I did. But everything that’s happened since then, that’s all on you, all of this shit happens because you won’t fucking let go already!”

Silence again. This time, he could hear her cry. 

“I really fucking hate you, Steve.”

“Then let me go.” His voice returned to its normal low pitch, though he was practically breathless from his rampage. Thank God he had picked one of the more isolated conference rooms, though he couldn’t be positive that the people directly below him or above him hadn’t heard his wrath. 

She hung up and he sunk down into one of the office chairs, resting his elbows on the smooth wood surface of the table as he brought his hands to his head, closing his eyes.

It had been about a week since you had last talked to Steve, and you were worried out of your mind. Not that he really had any reason to be talking to you; it wasn’t as though you were best friends, why would he be calling you up to talk about his life and how he was coping with his cheating wife? Still, you had been hoping for at least a text, maybe even an extremely vague update letting you know he was working things out. 

Seeing Tiana at the daycare was also incredibly awkward. You figured she knew that you had told Steve, because she seemed a little more stiff around you. You were also a bit confused by her behavior, too. You had expected she would have wanted to explain everything to you immediately, to try and defend herself and make herself seem like she was not the bad guy. Or, at the very least, flip out at you for telling Steve everything. But there was nothing. She said her hellos, goodbyes, a forced smile as she either dropped off or picked up, then left. Perhaps she just did not want you to be further involved, and even you decided that was for the best. Still, you were a bit sad upon realizing that might have been not only the first, but the last time you would ever babysit Linc. You doubted Tiana would ever want you to again. And so you savored your time with him during the days, playing with him and enjoying every ounce of his demeanor that reminded you so much of his father’s.

In a way, it was good that you and Steve were not keeping up communication. You could think about other things, other people. The more you thought about it, you had been far too intrigued by the tycoon, and it was probably for the best that you had some space from him. You felt dumb and naive for having such a huge crush on someone so unattainable, but now you could try to move on. If that was even the term for whatever this was-- it wasn’t as though you had any legitimate relationship to move on from.

Friday night came around, and you were getting ready for a date. A boy from your social psychology class had been interested in you for a while, and when he had reached out to you earlier in the week right after all of the drama with Steve and Tiana to ask how your summer was going, you took it as a sign. And so you had made the first move, asking if he wanted to grab dinner with you sometime. 

The date went fairly well-- as well as it could, anyways, after meeting a man like Steve Rogers. Peter was a cute guy, harmless and like a little puppy, but you couldn’t help but realize how much more… mature Steve had been in comparison. Had you screwed yourself over? Were you only into older men now? It wasn’t as though Peter was childish, you had just appreciated how experienced in life Steve was. He seemed so wise even from simple conversation, and the fact that he was such an amazing dad was a plus…

When Peter asked for a second date, you felt far too guilty to agree. How could you if you couldn’t stop thinking about another man? You explained to him that while the date went great and that he was an amazing guy, you were not particularly ready to jump into a relationship and that you did not want to lead him on-- and he completely understood. He asked if the two of you could at least still hang out as friends, and you couldn't help but feel touched and grateful that he was so sweet about the whole situation, immediately agreeing. Like a perfect gentleman, he brought you home and to the doorstep, giving you a hug before watching you go inside and turning to his car. 

You went to sleep feeling rather content for the first time all week, hopeful that focusing on this new friendship would help get your mind off of Steve. 

You felt the same contentment as last night upon waking up, a determined smile spread across your lips. It was Saturday and you would go out with some friends, have a movie night, do something instead of think of a messed up relationship that wasn’t even yours. 

However, once you checked your phone as you still lay in bed, your eyes widened in shock.

Steve: I miss you

You blinked a few times, positive you weren’t dreaming even if that was what it felt like. You checked what time he sent it. 9:12 AM. You looked at the current time. 9:20. Your heart was racing and you felt exactly like you had the week prior, his annoyingly handsome face now taking up your mind. Did he mean to send that to someone else? Perhaps Tiana, maybe they had made up? You were staring at the text message so intently that you hadn’t even noticed there had been speech bubbles underneath it the entire time until another message came in.

Steve: I fjucking miss you. It’s dumb hw much I miss you,

Was he drunk? You didn’t know whether to find this hilarious or concerning, but either way you were definitely confused. Why would he miss you? And why was he drinking at 9 AM? Though the second the question popped into your mind, you realized he was probably still in Manila. Immediately going to the clock app on your phone, you looked up what time it was there. Exactly twelve hours ahead, meaning it was 9 PM for him. Still a bit early to get drunk, you thought to yourself, but maybe that meant he wasn’t doing so well…

Y/N: Do you mean to be sending these to me…?

The speech bubbles appeared almost instantly.

Steve: Well theydre definiely not for my fucking wife.

Steve: Fuck

Steve: Im sorry

Steve: I shoudlnt be doing this.

You frowned, immediately texting back.

Y/N: You’re not okay, are you? You can talk to me it’s okay

Y/N: I want to help, Steve

Y/N: Do you want me to call you?

There were a few moments of torture before the speech bubbles sprung up again.

Steve: Give me aon hour.

You stared at the message, wondering if he would actually call you in an hour or if he would be passed out. You lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling as you processed everything that had just happened.

He missed you. You shouldn’t have felt so ecstatic, but you were.

So much for forgetting about him.

Your phone dinged again and you held it up to your face in seconds. However, it was not Steve.

Peter: Good morning :) I just wanted to say again that I had a really fun night last night! I hope you slept well!

That made you smile, glad that he had the consideration to send a good morning text even after you had told him you would rather remain friends for the time being. You had really gotten lucky with him-- you had certainly had experiences with guys in the past who would react much more bitter. 

Y/N: Hi Peter! I did too, and I can’t wait to hang out again soon! Slept like a baby haha

You and Peter texted back and forth for the next forty minutes or so until he had to go, and you actually felt a little better.

You rolled over in bed to attempt to go back to sleep for a bit, mostly doubting Steve’s last text. It was a weekend, anyways, so you might as well catch up on sleep while you could. You had probably been shifting around for about twenty minutes until your phone started ringing. Opening your eyes from your terrible attempt at sleep, you blinked, genuinely shocked. Sure enough, his name was on your screen, and you bit your lip somewhat nervously as you sat up in bed to answer it.

“Hi, Steve,” you spoke softly, your voice slightly shaded with sleep due to not having used it yet. “Are you alright?”

“Hey, Y/N. I am,” he spoke surprisingly coherent, throwing you off. You had expected him to still be a drunken mess. Had he really sobered up in an hour? He definitely did sound tired, though. “I’m.. sorry about those messages from earlier. I hope they didn’t weird you out.”

The complete opposite, really. “No, of course not.” You answered, keeping your more honest thoughts to yourself. “I guess I was just… confused.” He sighed deeply and you could hear the rustling of sheets. Was he getting into bed? You hoped so, he sounded like he needed sleep. “Yeah, as you should be. Hell, I am too. I mean, I barely even know you, and all I can think about is how I want to.” You felt your heart skip a beat, a blush traveling over your cheeks. “Really?” was all you could manage, almost convinced this had to be a dream. However, you made yourself snap out of it; you were still certainly welcome to this, but you wanted to be as rational as possible. “Steve, is this just because of…”

“No.” He cut you off and he sighed again, silent for a few moments before speaking lowly. “Tiana and I, we have a complicated relationship. We have for years now.” You noticed that his answers seemed slightly short; you were waiting for further explanation, but there was none. You weren’t sure if you should inquire further-- was he letting you know that he wanted to talk about it, or was he trying to avoid the subject entirely? You slowly cleared your throat to fill the silence, then ventured to ask a question. “What’s going to happen from here?”

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “In an ideal world, I’d be a single dad with no complicated relationships, and I’d just go ahead and ask you out so I can actually get to know you. But here we are.” You couldn’t help but blush deeper at how direct he was, not quite used to men being like this. Or, at least, boys your age certainly weren’t. “Our age difference… doesn’t bother you?” you asked hesitantly, and he chuckled for the first time, the deep rumble sounding like music to your ears. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I don’t think you even know how old I am.” You had assumed thirties, but you supposed he was right. “I’m thirty-eight,” he told you before you could even ask, pausing for a moment before continuing, “How do you feel about that?”

“I love it.” You found yourself blurting out, then hit your forehead, silently groaning as you fell back onto the bed. He was laughing now, teasing, “Oh, do you now? Wow, are you telling me you have a daddy kink?” You couldn’t help but giggle too, rolling onto your stomach. “I didn’t mean to say it like that, okay? I just meant-- I don’t know, I’ve never been with an older guy before if we’re being honest, but I want to be with someone mature. Someone who can help me be better and has experience to back it up, but of course I want to be able to support them too. Which brings me back to my question…” you trailed off somewhat nervously. “Do you really think a twenty year old girl is someone you should be interested in?”

“I think I don’t give a shit how old you are.” He replied bluntly, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly at that. “I mean, as long as you’re legal, of course, which you are. But your age has nothing to do with what I may or may not feel for you. I think you’re fun to talk to, you take amazing care of my son, who, not to mention is absolutely in love with you too-- and you have so much dedication and passion for what you do and what you want. And… it doesn’t hurt that you manage to look drop dead gorgeous no matter what you’re wearing. Even when you’re covered in my son’s drool by the end of the day.” He added playfully, and while you were blushing madly over all of his compliments, you laughed loudly at his last one. “Thank you. That might be the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me.” You replied sarcastically, and the sound of his laugh echoed on the other end, only making you smile wider. Making him laugh felt so damn satisfying.

“Are you feeling better?” you suddenly asked, hating to ruin the moment by being so serious, but you were genuinely concerned. “I mean, both from being drunk earlier and… everything else.” He hummed lowly and you could hear the sheets rustle some more. “Talking to you helps a lot. I should have called you earlier this week, honestly.” There it was, your heart racing again. “When do you come back?” you asked, now just wishing you could see him in person. “My flight’s in the morning. I should be back sometime on Monday.” 

“Will you pick Linc up?”

“I will.” He confirmed, and you could hear by his tone that he was smiling. “How about we figure out when to spend time together once I’m back.”

“Alright. Sounds good.” You agreed, unable to help but smile, too. “Goodnight, Steve. See you soon.”

“Night, Y/N. Thanks for talking to me.”

[jtrbluv]

need(y) | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: angst/fluff

word count: 3.6k

warnings: swearing

request: Hello!! Could I get a jungkook angst/fluff imagine where you guys are becoming distant and you leave for some space and he doesn’t know and thinks that you left him?? Sorry if it’s confusing, thank youuuu :)

a/n: sheesh! this was not supposed to be this long HAHA. sorry this took so long to write school just started and it’s fr kicking my ass. i’ve already gotten so much hw for the first week grrrr. i rushes the ending a bit so i’m not quite satisfied and i didn’t edit it either so um sorry about it LOL. anyways thanks for requesting this anon!! in honor of his bday too ig haha, hope u enjoy it :)

☏ ☏ ☏

Missed Calls:

y/n <3 (11)

6:45- lmk when ur coming home i can’t wait to see you <33

8:30- u must be busy at the studio it’s okay i’ll wait

9:47- hey it’s okay if ur coming late but could u just give me a heads up

11:02- jungkook?

12:17- happy belated anniversary to you too ig

1:56- i needa stop getting my hopes up huh

Being in a relationship with a worldwide famous idol is never easy. Learning to understand and appreciate the value of the relationship regardless of its limited-time came easy to you. That’s one of the reasons why he became interested in you in the first place. You never came off as overbearing and clingy and you always understood why things had to be different. And that added to the list of things he already absolutely adored about you.

It had been a year since Jungkook had confessed to you backstage that night, asking you to be his lover and promising that he would cherish you like no one ever will. And you can confidently say he very much did at the beginning, commonly known as the honeymoon stage. Things only started to fizzle out and go downhill a few months ago. His group was scheduled for a new comeback. He was promoting and traveling around the world while you were on the sidelines and comfort of your home, cheering him and his group on. Daily texts and calls kept both of you grounded and steady, but as time passed by, those texts and calls ceased to exist. You had been constantly ignored and you didn’t think much of it at first, after all, he was a busy man with a busy schedule. The tour had finally been coming to an end and he’d have the opportunity to come home to you, just in time for your one year anniversary. He had flown in 2 weeks precedent to your anniversary, and fuck, you were so happy to be with him again.

He had made a promise to you that you two would get to spend a lot more time together as he was coming back. You two had finally been living together again after what seemed like years as his group had gotten a break after such a hectic year. He would go to his company need to work on future projects and such and it didn’t bother you at first. He would typically come back home late while you were sleeping and leave early in the morning before you would wake up. As it occurred more frequently, you started to become more concerned. He was finally home for once and he wasn’t even making time to see you. You didn’t want to seem annoying and clingy so you decided to push these thoughts to the back of your head and keep them to yourself.

-

You had agreed to have a celebration at home, figuring all the restaurants in the vicinity would be closed by the time he’d get home. You patiently waited in the living room, coffee table filled with his favorite foods and snacks you were able to pick up at the local convenience store. He had told you the night before he’d be coming home at 9, a little later than you liked, but you let it slide nonetheless. You essentially cherished all the time you had with him anyway, whether it be a minute, an hour, or a month.

You mindlessly sat in the living room, not paying attention to whatever was playing on the TV. Your ears were constantly alert and peeled, waiting for a familiar car to pull up to your driveway. Your eyes constantly shifted back to your front window, scanning the neighborhood to see if he was back yet or not.

Time ticked by like molasses, your patience and tolerance wavering as it went on. There were no signs of him and he wasn’t answering any of your calls and texts. You were in complete disbelief at the fact that he didn’t have the decency to spend time with you on your first anniversary. Everything you had been holding in was starting to seep out of you, anger and sadness fuming from your system as you ask yourself the same question: Why do you constantly put yourself in this situation? Being hopeful for something just to let it get torn down again. Is that what your relationship has turned into? An insurmountable lost hope?

For the first time, you realized all you’ve been doing his abiding by him, waiting for his cues, going off of his beck and call. You were being walked all over, and you didn’t realize until that moment. For the first time, you were fed up.

You groan in frustration as you snatch your phone from the coffee table. It was 2:34 AM. You furrow your brows as you see how late it is, and how many hours it’s been since he was supposed to come home. Your emotions took control of you as you hastily shut off the TV, charging into your room as you recklessly grab one of your backpacks and stuff random clothes into it.  You grab the nearest hoodie you could find and slipped it on as you grabbed your wallet, keys, and phone. You abruptly halt at the doorway, deciding to write a small note for him before you left. What were the chances he would see it anyway?

I need some time alone to think. Please do not contact me during this time. -Y/N

You stormed out of the house, slamming the door shut behind you. You quickly started your car and pulled out of your driveway and into the streets. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just didn’t want to stay in that house any longer. The streets were empty and the sky was dull and overcast. You let the streets guide you, taking whatever twist and turn you happened to encounter. Your hands were gripped tightly along the steering wheel as tears slipped out of your eyes. You quickly wipe them away as you recalibrate your focus on the road ahead of you. You decided it’d be best to stay at a hotel for now, until you could think of a better solution to all of this. You were able to find a hotel that had lower rates since you literally bought it on the spot.

You checked into the hotel and quickly escaped to your room. You throw your backpack to the floor as you lower yourself into the cold, unfamiliar sheets of the bed. You contemplate your options. As much as you didn’t want to admit, all your actions leading up to that moment had been caused by pent up rage and frustration in the heat of the moment. In spite of that, you didn’t regret what you had done. It felt as if time had frozen and it would only continue once Jungkook became aware of what you had done. So you were going to wait.

-

Jungkook stumbled into the home, hair disheveled and vision blurry from his near sleepless night. While working at the studio he had unknowingly fallen asleep while working on a track. All of his members had already gone back home so there was no one to wake him up or remind him of his girlfriend that was waiting patiently back home for him, ready to celebrate a long-awaited and special day.

All traces of the anniversary had slipped his mind as soon as he slid into a deep slumber back at the studio. He trudges around the house and his eyes land on the organized display of snacks on the coffee table. His eyes shift to the blanket and pillow that you two tended to share was all crumpled on the couch. The lightbulb immediately lit in his mind as he put the pieces together and his eyes widen in absolute horror. He had forgotten your anniversary.

“Oh my god, I’m so fucking stupid!” he exclaims, the tone of disbelief in his voice increasing as he realizes his mistake.

“Y/N!” he cries out to you as he runs around the house, searching in all the rooms to see if you were there. He almost forgets the phone that laid in his back pocket until he takes it out, hoping to call you in hopes that you would respond. His phone lights up only to show how indecently late he was, 5:43 a.m, and the amount of missed calls and texts from you, the disappointment and dejection he sensed from you increasing as he read each text you sent to him. His jaw dropping incredulously as he shuts his eyes and takes a deep exhale.

“Fuck, what have I done?” he huffs out, his voice small and full of somber. The fact that he had forgotten a day as important as this was already encompassing his mind but more so, he couldn’t find you and it deeply startled him, he didn’t know where you were and where you could be at this hour. He walks back into the living room where he assumes you had been waiting and his focus shifts to the kitchen where he notices a small notepad and pen along with a torn piece of paper that seemed to have something inscribed on it. He squints as he walks towards the kitchen. He took the paper in his hands as he immediately recognizes your handwriting and his breath hitches as he reads your name. His feet stay rooted to the wooden tile of the kitchen as he freezes there with the paper in his hands. Dumbfounded was an understatement to whatever Jungkook had felt at that moment in time. A tear had involuntarily slid down his cheek. Was this it? Was this the end? Were you going to leave him and never come back? These were only a few out of the heap of questions that were running through his head. All he knew was that he needed to find you. And he needed to fix the mess he had just made.

Similar to you he had bolted out of the house and drove off, unaware of where you actually were but he figured if he had searched for long enough, he would be able to find you.

You had slept deep into the day, finally getting up only because you started to notice the consistent vibrations that came from your bedside table. Naturally, you figured it was Jungkook, you didn’t tell anyone else of your whereabouts since it was so sporadic and you certainly didn’t feel like conversing or informing anyone of your situation. Out of curiosity and the annoying blare of your phone, you decide to see who it is anyway. Much to your surprise, your best friend Seulgi’s beaming smile flashed on your phone screen as you pick up.

“Seulgi, hi,” your voice manages to croak out as you adjust to the sunlight peeking out of your window.

“Y/N, where the hell are you?” she immediately asks, you can basically hear the frown lines etched into her forehead.

You groan into the mic of your phone as you speak back, “Seulgi, I can explain-”

“Jungkook’s been looking for you all night and asking everyone where you are,” she cuts you off.

“Seulgi,” you exhale, trying to suppress your anger, “he forgot our anniversary.”

“Oh my god.” she gasps, “you’re joking.”

“Did he not tell anyone?!” you shriek into the phone.

“No! He just said you left and he was looking for you and he was really scared and he even sounded like he was on the verge of tears and once I said I didn’t know where you were he just hung up!” she rambles on and on.

“Okay, yeah, he forgot and I got mad and I left,” you reveal, voice barely over a whisper.

“Y/N, I don’t blame you,” she reassures you, voice softening, “but, I think you should confront him about this.”

“Yeah, I know. I just needed some time to cool off and think.”

“Well, do you plan on breaking up with him?” she speaks timidly.

“I- I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to. I want to hear what he has to say.” you stutter, your mind in a complete frenzy.

“Hasn’t he been paying less attention to you these last couple of months?” she asks, “I rarely see you two go out anymore.”

“Yeah cuz we really don’t,” you confirm. “He’s been so focused on his career which I understand but, sometimes it just feels like he doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that he has a girlfriend.”

“Then why haven’t you told him that.”

“I don’t want to seem like the type of girlfriend to hold him back from doing what he loves. He’s invested so much time into his career.”

“Y/N, obviously not telling him how you feel has resulted in this mess. And okay, before you attack me, if he doesn’t have the decency to spend time with his girlfriend every once in a while then he doesn’t deserve your time and energy in the first place,” she advises you.

“I know that Seulgi, that’s all I’ve been thinking about all night.”

“Then talk to him Y/N,” she softly mutters, “for the sake of your relationship with him.”

You hum in agreement but as you’re about to hang up she interjects, “Okay, but just remember, I’ll support whatever decision you make next. I know you’re wise enough to know what you deserve and what’s best for the two of you. Always here for you Y/N.”

“I don’t know where I’d be without you Seulgi. I’ll update you. I’ll head out now.” you smile into the phone.

“You got this Y/N!” she cheers as you hang up.

You had clear intentions on your mind but you couldn’t help but feel anxious and uncertain about what was to happen between you and Jungkook.

jungkook, i’m in sunset central hotel. if you want to talk, come here as soon as you can. Thanks.

Jungkook’s eyes widen to the size of saucers as soon as he saw your name flash onto his screen. He redirects his GPS to the hotel you were at, a 45-minute drive. He didn’t care, he just needed to find you.

-

You waited at the foot of your bed, feeling extremely uneasy about the whole confrontation. Your foot was constantly tapping on the wooden floors, as you played with your hands and glance back at your phone to check the time.

-

Jungkook finally reaches his destination as he surges through the front doors of the hotel, asking the front desk if you were still staying over. The front desk had called you and informed you that someone had come to see you and if it was okay for them to come over. You hesitantly obliged, cowering every time you heard Jungkook answering whatever questions he was required to answer.

It never really registered through Jungkook’s mind that he was supposed to talk to you. He just planned on spilling his heart out and hoping it would be enough for your forgiveness and just being able to hold you in his arms again.

He takes his time getting to your room. His movements are lethargic and hesitant, taking the time to gather his thoughts. He reaches the floor your room is on as he steps out of the elevator and scans the area to find where your room would be. He slowly walks as he sees your room number, he knocks softly at the door, staring at his shoes.

Your head snaps to the sound of his knocks, you take a deep breath as you stand up and slowly creak open the door. You don’t even bother to try to share any eye contact as you widen the door and motion him to come in.

“Y/N,” he begins, eyes still focused on the floor, “I’m,” he exhales, “I’m so sorry.” He slowly tilts his head up, analyzing your body language. Your hands were clasped in front of you as your eyes shifted back and forth to everything but Jungkook. You could feel his stare burning into you but dismissed it.

“Is that-,” you mutter, “is that all you came here to say to me?

“No!” he interrupts, causing you to flinch. His face softens at your reaction, “I- I fell asleep while working on a song and lost track of time.”

Your jaw clenches at his statement as you take a moment to let what he had told you sink in,  “And that makes it all okay?”

“No, of course, it doesn’t-”

“Jungkook, we were supposed to spend this time together with each other. You’re on an actual break for once and you’d still rather dedicate all your time to it instead of spending time with me. All your other members have been going on trips, seeing family, hanging out with friends,” you huff out, glaring at him as he looks at his shoes, “do I not matter to you anymore?”

Your last statement almost made him meltdown right there on the spot. The fact that he had made you believe that he didn’t care about you at all was already bad enough as it is.

He takes a step towards you and looks you straight in the eye, “No, Y/N,” he sighs in exasperation, trying to piece together what he was going to say, “we’ve just been getting so much publicity and gaining so much popularity and fame, I feel like they expect so much from us. And from me. I’m the Golden Maknae, I have to be good at everything and be able to do anything, but in reality, nothing’s working out and I’ve just been stressed as hell and wanting to see you.”

“I’ve never left Jungkook until yesterday, I’ve always been there waiting,” you reveal slowly, “and I really always want to be here for you. Ever since the tour, you stopped contacting me and I just thought you were busy but in the back of my mind, I started thinking that you just didn’t care anymore.”

“But I do, I always did.” he says, taking a step towards you.

“You haven’t proven otherwise, and I don’t want to reach this breaking point just so we can be happy and go through this all over again.” your voice cracks.

“I know, I don’t want that either, but, if this was bothering you for so long, why couldn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Do I really have to remind my own boyfriend to spend time with me?” you scoff as you shake your head in disbelief.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean that, I mean we’ve never had any problems in our relationship up until now, and now that I’m thinking about it, you could’ve told me off and broke up with me a long time ago, but you never told me when you had any problems with me. Yes, I know the things I did were stupid as fuck but Y/N, being in a relationship while balancing my career is still new to me. I’m absolutely clueless and stupid and I need you to guide me so I can be there for you.”

“I-,” you sighed heavily, “I didn’t want to intrude. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you are and I didn’t want to fuck it up.”

“Hey, I’m always willing to give up time for you.” his responds as his eyes soften, “I know it sure as hell may not seem like it, but you shouldn’t prioritize my needs or whatever you think my needs are over yours. Now I’ve just been taking advantage of your leniency. How did I not notice? Fuck, I’m such a dumbass.”

You honestly didn’t know how to respond to that, you knew what you were doing was selfless and you were extremely patient about it all, “I just figured that was the last thing you wanted you know, another thing to worry about on top of your career.”

“I thought about that at first too,” he agreed, biting his lip, “I realized later on that it really shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. I care about you too much to let that happen and the more I got to know you, I realized that, well, you were worth it.”

You could feel his intense glare without even sparing him a glance, “Am I still worth it to you?”

You feel his hand envelop your own as steps towards you once again, “You always will be.”

“You’re making it really hard for me to keep being mad at you,” you huff, tightening your grip around his hand.

He noticed the fact that you were still avoiding eye contact and you remained distant. He tugs on your hand and pulls you close to him, breaking your personal barrier. He pulls you into a warm hug, something you both had craved for so long. The longing and acceptance for one another was mutual, but where were you two supposed to do from there on out?

He loosens his hold on you and pulls away slightly, “Are we okay?”

For the first time that day your eyes met his as you replied, “Yeah, we’re okay.”

Only time would tell.

-

-

-

MASTERLIST

[migleefulmoments]

awesome-fanfictionada * tumblr * com / post / 615676095589728256 so anon ask how it's possible that no one's ever let the cat out of the bag this entire time (not to mention no one's ever captured a surreptitious pic of C/D together) and the answer is a rambling response filled with fake rumors and inane talk about smiling at each other. basically, there is no answer for how darren's "incompetent" team has kept a lid on this secret for nearly a decade. cuz they haven't. cuz it's all bullshit.

The first thing to keep in mind is that awesome is a newbie- she popped up in January 2020. Everything she knows is from "researching” the ccers favorite gifs and answers Abby and co gave to their nonnies in the last few years. She was trolling through the cc masterposts but most of them are long gone so she basically learned through their favorite gif playlist-if you put all the gifs together and took away the slow-mo feature it was probably a total of 4 minutes or less of Chris and Darren’s lives and all of it was from the Glee set or during promo for the show.  

I wrote my comments after her post: 

Anonymous asked:

So, we're 8-9 years? into this whole situation. I want to know how no one has ever let something slip about the truth. There's a lot of pieces in motion...PR houses, SM, appearances with beards, them being together (physically in the same place, like living together) without public knowledge. There's also a lot of people that would have knowledge of the situation. And some of them are not that bright or discreet. It's an incredible amount of time to maintain all of this.

Dear Anon, I’m not sure about the tone of your ask and if you want me to convert you or reassure you? However, I’ll just comment on the things you say. It’s not correct that no one has ever let anything slip about them, there have been in the past people who (2) tweeted about them as a couple just to dleete the tweet shortly after. Not always, some tweets are there still. (3)There have been IG posts and radio interviews with the voice of one of them in the background when there was supposed to be no official interaction. There have been other let’s call them (4)“clues” - even if they weren’t meant to be such. (5) It’s been many years, yes, and with the years comes the ease and the routine, everybody is aware of the situation, teams know what they have to do to keep it going (though sometimes they also slip up, some more than others). With the years the startling suspicion that they might be indeed a couple subsides and nobody cares about it anymore (but us), no one goes out to investigate because why should they? (6)Who cares about D marrying to hide the fact that he’s gay? He’s not the first nor the last to do it. (7) And he’s not that famous that people will want to know at all costs or have tabloids to pay for the scoop. (8) No, it is still his team that needs to pay to get articles out (talking about M mostly). And based on the comments they get on such articles, D’s secret seems to be an open one. Why would anyone tell about them? In HW everyone knows everything about everybody but they seldom tell cause they are all in it together - so who should tell and whom to? (9) Besides - there are plenty of couples in HW and around HW who are pretty secretive about their relationships and have been for years without anyone finding out anything they did not want exposed. Some couples are never seen together anywhere but are known to be married because they have at some point or another confirmed their relationship. (11) It is a long time to maintain this but if the parties involved are fine with the outcome (I doubt D and C are now, but for argument’s sake) nothing will get in the way to disturb the situation.

Do you want me to confirm to you that they actually live together? I cannot. That they have been together all the time? I cannot. (12) But look at them interact at the G/lee reunion and tell me honestly that there isn’t anything going on between them - they have been looking at each other that way for almost 10 years now. Have they at any time looked at their official SO in the same way? They make each other smile and laugh, that counts for very much in a relationship.  

Yes, I started on 2...ignore there is no 1. 

2. She mentions the Tweets that were soon deleted- this is one of my favorite arguments because it’s the most pathetic proof and proves just how easy it is to con a tinhat. Faking a Tweet has been easy for many years and anyone with photoshop skills could do it from day one. Tweets that showed up, then quickly disappeared but luckily ONE person managed to get a screencap? Riiigggghhhhttttttt. We also know that a couple of those famous disappearing Tweets were never real but were written about as part of the “news” post that GleekinthePink mistook for real but was later proven to be fanfiction. 

3. The videos where they hear the voice of the other -usually in a laugh- aren’t “proof” of a relationship. First of all, the obvious, we don’t know who it is since they are off-camera and the person on camera never makes a face of surprise like I would expect if the other outed them. It also makes no sense to imagine that Darren married Mia to protect the secrets but they took a risk by having the other in the room during a live or while shooting a video they posted to social media. I can’t imagine taking a chance like that on something as stupid as a promo Livestream or a haircut-maybe to attend a small family event like Chris’s mom’s funeral or his dad’s wedding, but not a haircut. 

4. What clues did they give away exactly? The not-actually-matching shirts? The not-at-all matching duvet covers? The song lyrics? None of these “clues” are evidence of a relationship. They are simply evidence of a fandom obsessed with making everything into confirmation bias and Abby’s talent at bringing everything back to Crisscolfer.   

5. Now she starts to layout her argument that “everyone knows and they are willing to keep it a secret because who cares”? This argument is so weak I would hope that her community should see right through it, but I’m sure they don’t. I’ve learned through my interactions with Trump supporters and ccers that people who are in a group because they want to win and to be special, people who are bonded together through anger, misogyny, and hate require very little fact-based information. They thrive on short sentences-repeated often- and in anger and having a scapegoat to hurl all their shit at. Having someone to hate is like meth- it’s highly addictive, it rots their brains and it keeps them coming back even after it is killing them. I am sure that any ccer who reads awesome’s post will accept it all at face value.  Hollywood isn’t a close community full of people who either love and respect each other enough to protect Darren or are indifferent as long as it doesn’t affect them. The fact is, Hollywood is a small community, yes. If cc were a couple, everyone would know but being a small community and one willing to hide another’s deep dark secrets aren’t the same thing. Nobody has a reason to protect Chris and Darren by lying or actively working to protect their secrets.. People like and respect Darren because he’s genuine, honest, kind, and interesting but ccDarren is none of those things. He’s a liar who is hiding in the closet because he’s can’t give up his fame, he “treats Mia like shit”, he continues to work with the man who put him in the closet using THE Contract. THE Contract alone would be HUGE and go well beyond tabloid fodder. The NYT and WaPo would be all over the story of Ryan Muphy and Fox TV forcing Darren into the closet, forcing a beard and forbidding them to interact for a decade. 

The biggest reason her theory is nothing but a naive fantasy is that Hollywood isn’t a static community.  Over the last decade, many people came and went and there is no way you will ever convince me that in 10 years, not one person let it slip or was willing to sell them out for their own 15 minutes of fame or blackmailed one of the players get something they wanted. Darren is a vary social man and lots of people consider him their friend. He attends a lot of functions where people see him with Mia. Either ccDarren and ccChris never go out in public- for 10 years they have kept their relationship inside at one of their homes and only a couple of friends know the truth or it’s statistically inconceivable that someone hasn’t slipped or outed them. Glee had a huge cast and crew- add the plus ones and we have a crap ton of people who know, but not one person told a friend who let it slip? Nobody told a friend who works at TMZ or knows someone who does or who is on TMZ payroll? Puh-leaze . 

The tabloids would LOVE to get ahold of CrissColfer- not simply because they are gay, but because Darren has presented as straight for over 10 years and he just married a woman! He also said as a straight man he won’t play another gay character. A gay Darren would be tabloid fodder at any level but as Abby loved to point out, he just won every award; he’s one of the Ryan Murphy Players and his career is on fire right now. CDAN has posted multiple blinds about Darren being gay over the years which proves that tabloids would be interested in such a story.  

6. In 2020 it would be big news if a celeb married to hide a gay relationship.  Especially if that man was famous for playing gay characters and who has been in a relationship with the woman he married for 10+ years. Awesome is dreaming if she imagines nobody would care about such a story.  It’s a story about deception and lies but if you add in the shit they believe, THE Contracts and being forced in the closet, a paid beard who abuses Darren and hidden relationship with another man who has presented another man as his long-term boyfriend? Yeah, that would be huge news. 

7. I have no clue why she thinks he isn’t famous enough to have a tabloid pay for information. Has she read TMZ in the last 5 years? It’s full of stories about Farah Abrahman and other reality stars and their shenanigans. You don’t have to be a huge blockbuster movie star to get a tabloid interested. You only need a sordid story about love mixed with deception, sex, money murder or abuse of power. The tabloids feed off stories like the tinhats have written CrissColfer. 

8. I always love the comments about his team forcing articles out -especially Mia. WTF? His team doesn’t force out articles- they get him publicity when he has a project. Darren hasn’t done all that much press I would call fake, certainly, not many that are written by his team or read as if they just pieced together PR pieces written by his team. Maybe ccers are finding nonsense articles that are clearly written for clicks (they were debating about one last month that was clearly written by someone who Googled Darren and cobbled together his story from what they found online without trying very hard. It wasn’t even written well.  It’s super easy to avoid those articles- if they say “sponsored” that’s a good clue. If you have to click through paragraph by paragraph or photo by photo, or you can barely see the article among the flashing ads, you’re probably reading something of poor quality and not worthy of your time. Stick with articles that are more reputable-actual entertainment publications that cover the industry and including interviews or stories written by journalists. BTW, when was Mia in an article last? I mean more than a mention or two? She was quoted in some for TSG’s opening but other than that she isn’t in the pieces.  

9. There are plenty of couples who keep their relationships quiet but Darren Criss is NOT one of them. Neither is Chris Colfer... but especially not Darren Criss. He doesn’t talk about his relationship per se but is mentioned in places where one would normally talk about one’s spouse. Mia is always by his side and clearly enmeshed in his life- they share old friends and live and work together. The people awesome is referring t-those who keep their private lives private- aren’t running around with a fake wife or fake husband to protect their actual relationships- they are just keeping everything quiet-think Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes or early Angelina and Brad. Arguing that because some celeb’s keep their private life private, it is rational to believe that Darren and Chris are simply one of those couples is a fallacy-but it’s almost 3 am and I’m too tired to think about which one it is. 

11. Now she’s arguing that in over a decade in Hollywood, the people in Darren’s and Chris’s lives have been static and therefore there isn’t anyone to rock the boat and out them. An interesting argument in light of Darren’s resume over the last 9 years- Broadway (4 different shows (2 Hedwigs)), TV (Royalties, Hollywood, Glee, AHS, ACS), music (including a few tours, 2 albums, multiple one-off shows, and several music videos), Elsie Fest, two feature movies and all the award shows, charity events, fundraisers, and other random things that Darren does. He also owns two businesses that we know of- TSG and The Motley.  That’s a shitload of people that he’s interacted with just at work in the last decade. Oh and add all the people who worked on the wedding-the vendors and their staffs- it’s unrealistic to believe that not one of them realized something was ccUp. Chris entirely changed careers adding all the people in the publishing world that an author works with. He also has done a couple of shows for TV. I’m not even considering the charities they both work with. Not only is this a LOT of people who are keeping their mouths shut, but it isn’t a static group-Darren filmed Hollywood and Royalties this year and rehearsed Amerian Buffalo bringing in an entirely new set of people to work with. If Chris gets his TLOS movie off the ground that will be hundreds and hundreds of new people with him  The fact is, Hollywood isn’t static- it’s the most unstable business I can think of with new people coming to seek their dreams and others giving up or going off to do something else like music or Broadway. There are alwasy new people coming and others going. If Darren and Chris were in fact in a relationship then lots of people near htier homes would know- grocery store workers, restaurant staff, dry cleaners, etc. Yet nobody with this type of evidence has ever even suggested they are a couple. The legit media has never sniffed around trying to find out if Darren is actually gay or with Chris. That says a lot about the validity of the story. Darren would have been hounded by the media when he started playing Blaine but was telling everyone he was staright and showing up at events with Mia. 

Hollywood isn’t known for being altruistic and kind. It’s a ruthless industry full of people with huge egos and big power and people who are broke and just want to get hired for a part, they want their dreams to come true. Hollywood is a town of desperation for so many with big dreams and a quick buck selling a story to a tabloid or the 10 minutes of fan that it would bring- hell even someone making a deal with TMZ to cover them for a period of time in exchange for info about Chris and Colfer is wayyy more credible rational than believing Hollywood is static and nobody has a reason to out Darren.  

12. Laughter and joy are important in a relationship but smiling at someone during a charity online reunion isn’t proof of anything- it’s just common courtesy to be polite in that scenario. Notice they once again are relying on a photo- a stillshot from a video- 1 single frame is “PROOF they are in love” because Chris is giving heart eyes to Darren.   

If your entire argument is they have overwhelming chemistry then you must know that nobody will take you seriously and you should really get listen to an objective opinion by someone who isn’t desperately searching for confirmation bias that they are a couple. Good chemistry doesn’t make a relationship-lots of people have good chemistry and they aren’t in a relationship and lots of people in relationships have poor chemistry. It isn’t proof of anything except that ccers have no evidence.   

[josaeul]

Love Confessions PT 1° BTS

______

☽: Pairing: BTS (OT7) x Female Reader / First Person

_____

☽: Au: Momentary High School Au! Yandere !

☽: Word Count: 30K

☽: Chapters Here: 13/(Currently)26

☽: Summary: It didn’t matter that you didn’t know them, it didn’t matter if you had your own plans; it did matter if you didn’t return their love.

______

☽: A/N: Hi, I’m Dio/Ado! I used to have another tumblr account where I originally published LC but it soon became more of a “personal” so I took it down, while I didn’t publish chapters here I did publish up to 26 chapters in other platforms, so instead of publishing 26 1k-3k words I meshed them all together into 2 parts, as of now the story is still ongoing so there will be more than 30 chapters (my original estimate). If anyone is wondering, this fic has been ongoing since the 7th of July, 2018 and has been on-and-off in the works, mainly because I’m still in high school and it’s h a r d to have a schedule when you’re swamped with hw. This is edited but there may be spelling errors and bad usage of full-stops and commas where they’re very wrong (I mainly speak, not write in english lol that’s why I’m better verbally speaking than writing) but bare with me; english isn’t my first language!

Because this fic is so damn long, especially here on Tumblr where I decided to mash up some chapters, I’ve added a key for the recommended rest/stop place! It’s this  “____ღ”, this is where the original chapter ends!

________

It’s been going on for ages ever since I moved back here strange notes have littered my locker everyday. Love confessions as a matter of fact. They made no sense, the situation made no sense they weren’t written by the same person but they were written by the same group of people. Honestly, at the beginning I found them to be quite cute they were written with such fondness it made my heart flutter. It was clear they were written with care, each word delicately being chosen, that time had been spent crafting each. But as more time went on they became more aggressive, possessive, threatening and even demanding. Still, these people continued to declare their love but showed strong aggression towards my friends and family at the same time. The notes started to include personal information, from where I lived to what underwear I had been using that day. I suddenly felt unsafe like my safety and life was being analyzed and used against me. Suddenly wasn’t just notes soon there were eyes following me too and in those moments where I felt eyes following me as I walked around the schools' hallways, I hid on the rooftop where I knew that this stalker, or stalkers, would leave me alone. Or at least for a moment or at least I thought so, I hoped.

Today I was clutching my bag tightly as I made my way behind the gray wall of the roof, where I’d hide whenever I felt those eyes following me around, one that was meant to keep us away from the storage room, and failed to do so, when suddenly a girl, probably a few years older than me, walked in followed by a fellow student; a boy. And the boy was none other than the one and only Jeon Jeongguk. Seeing his stupidly handsome face made me scowl, I quickly hid behind the wall and listened in to hear what was happening I didn’t want him to think of me as a loner that couldn’t make any friends other than him because I could.

I knew Jeongguk we were actually best friends when I first lived here. We’d go everywhere together, the park, the movies, we’d also go to each other’s house so often we had the others’ clothes and some belongings there, it had gone to such a point where our parents began planning our wedding. At the time the thought of marrying Jeongguk made me cringe because we were best friends but now just the thought of breathing the same air as him made me want to cut off my oxygen intake and just suffocate a slow and painful death. In other words; I, [Whole Name] [Last Name], hated Jeon Jeongguk with my life.

He became the embodiment of what he, we, used to hate. So coming back home to Jeongguk version two felt like I had lost a friend, a part of me and I did. Jeongguk forgot completely about what we had, about me. He became cold and he distanced himself, started hanging out with the ‘cool kids’, or whatever. I don’t care at least not now. I could make new friends, I could act cold, I could ignore him and I did. But did I want to? No, not really. But at the same time, if this was Jeongguk now, I don’t want anything to do with him.

At the beginning when I had just come back I did my best to become friends again but with how he was acting and seeing him act like such a dick made me want to beat him up, he had completely forgotten and ignored me, he didn’t even spare a glance my way. The only time I’d go to his house now was when Mrs. Jeon, his mom, invited me to help her cook and try to bring us together again. But every time I went there he’d either ignore me or throw insults at my face, and after that he’d just stare at me for the rest of my stay there.

The last time I went was over a little over a month ago and it was solely to take the things I’d left there when I was younger. I did my best to go when I knew he had football practice so I didn’t have to meet him. That day I made sure to call his mom to get her to lend me her keys something she happily did at the end of the day I was [Family Nickname] the girl that helped their shy son and became his first friend. I took with me some boxes, I don't remember exactly what or how much I left, but whatever it was I was taking it back. Jeongguk had made it rather clear he didn’t want anything to do with me so I made him a favor taking back my stuff back. The minute I stepped foot inside the house I noticed a pair of my favorite shoes there, I probably left them there when we said goodbye so when I came back I could leave with my special shoes, how cringy. Mrs. Jeon probably left them there they looked so clean as if someone had just bought them, I could imagine her cleaning the shoes everyday. Laughing a bit I took the shoes and placed them in one of the boxes I had brought, maybe Mrs. Jeon would miss them but Jeongguk wouldn’t. As I made my way to the living room, everywhere I went something was there. My old portable game console, a few books I had been looking for, some random hair ties, those looked too childish to be from Mrs. Jeon and I don’t think Jeongguk would use hair ties either, some toys, and like that I found bits and pieces of my childhood everywhere, it felt nostalgic and to some point my heart ached. And it all went into one of my boxes, so by the time I had walked all the first floor all traces of my belongings had left and all that was left was the second floor,  I had filled up the of one of then cardboard boxes I had brought, I still had two left and one that I had brought full of his belongings he’d left when we were young that my mom had kept just in case he’d need them back. I made my way up to where the rooms were I noticed how the only one that had my old stuff was Mrs. and Mr. Jeon’s and Jeongguk’s bedroom, the guest rooms and Junghyun’s room where practically bare with no traces of the family, much less me. His parents' room had a few pictures and a few tacky drawings me and Jeongguk had made, those I didn’t touch, I even noticed how in her dresser Mrs. Jeon still had the bead bracelets I made her. But the room that shocked me the most was Jeongguk’s, his room was filled with my stuff and I didn’t know if two boxes would be enough for all of it. He had stuff from pictures of the two of us to even my old plushie I brought with me when we had sleepovers, just to name a few that stood out. He kept it all and I didn’t really know how to feel. I snapped to my senses and quickly took all I could fit in my boxes and as I did a big part of me felt weirded out. Why did he act like he hated me so much if he kept all of this, it took me over all almost an hour to clear his room but it felt right, no pictures or plushie; no [Name]. He wasn’t going to be reminded I ever existed now. Good, I didn’t want to be remembered by him. I took the box I had brought myself and left it neatly on his bed, quickly wrote a small note explaining what I had done and why. I didn’t apologize, why would I? He erased himself from my life emotionally, and even went as far as avoiding me, so might as well say physically too. I was doing the same thing, but as I took out my boxes and walked back home I couldn’t help but feel guilty and empty. After that I ignored the Jeon’s. I didn’t go to their house, only waving to them when we stumbled on the supermarket, didn’t really pick up their calls leaving my parents to do so, only going over if I knew my parents or someone else I knew was going too. Basically never. I had erased them from my life; but most importantly I erased him.

If only I had seen how Jeongguk reacted to seeing all his collection gone.

So, seeing him now being dragged all the way over here probably for a love confession made me cringe and hard. Seeing your ex-best friend being asked out definitely felt weird. And I felt a strange pang in my chest as I looked at the girl, her name was Sakura and she was cute. The different kind of cute I was, I mean am I even cute to begin with? Maybe that’s what his ideal type is, the opposite of me. Why was I being so damn petty?

As they walked towards the railing of the roof I pressed myself closer to the walls, I didn’t want to get caught somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be, much less by Jeongguk. Plus, as wrong as it was, I wanted to see how it turned out. As much as I say I hate him, he still played a part in my life, a part I wasn’t about to truly forget or replace.

The girl shyly fixed her hair behind her ear as she spoke, she took her time probably nervous, “W-well, Jeongguk... I know you must get this a lot...”

”Oh god, please hurry up!” He exclaimed impatiently. God he was such a dick.

”Ah, ok! I like you, a lot. I know you’ve dated prettier girls and I may not be the best but-“

”Cut it, will you? I don’t know you, what even is your name Sana? Sinb? Sarah? Look, I guess you’re not that bad, but come on, me? Please, don’t waste my time like this, this is unnecessary.”

”Wh-what?” The pretty girl choked out, I wasn’t really looking by now having seen enough but I could tell by her voice that what that dick said hit her hard, sure those are insults someone would have thrown around in second grade but still, pouring your heart out for it to then be rejected in such manner must have hurt. I had never been rejected, but I could only imagine the pain.

“Are you fucking stupid? Look,” he started, “please get lost and refrain from contacting me ever again.” Ya ou could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke and I bet all my money that as the girl left running she was a crying mess and I couldn’t blame her I was close to crying too, just where did Jeongguk go. I know people change, especially from fourteen to seventeen, hell even from ten to eleven, but the changes he went through shocked me to the core.

I sat waiting to hear the door open and close to indicate he had left too but it never came. It seemed he was staying out there, he didn’t walk either he seemed to be standing in the same place. I thought he had fainted, a pretty good thing if I wanted to run away without confrontation, or something until he burst out laughing. The sound of his laughter was psychotic, it started out quite but it grew to the point I wanted to rip my ears off. No one had told a joke and nothing funny had happened, if anything the scene that just played out was quite sad, especially since I had been in similar shoes. So then, why was he laughing. I pressed my back tightly against the wall and pushed myself further away from the edge. His laughing fit didn’t stop though. It became even louder. He laughed so hard he fell on the floor, the sound of his knees making contact with the ground bounced all over the place accompanied with the sound of him hitting the ground in laughter, he sounded demented.

After a few seconds of this the laughing stopped, but again the sound of the rooftop door opening didn’t come much less the sound of him standing up. Now the only sound other than the wind and soft rain softly passing through tree leaves was the sound of him crying and speaking through broken sobs.

”I didn’t do enough, didn’t I? Of course I didn’t”, he screamed, his voice sounded constricted and forced, “Why won’t she love me! I did everything Namjoon told me to do... everything!” He began shouting towards the end of his mumble. He clearly wasn’t stable, at least not now, and it broke my heart to see him like this. Who was Namjoon? Did he make him act like this? Perhaps, was it student council Namjoon? Was he somehow responsible for the strange change Jeongguk went through? I mean, he holds enormous power considering he’s just the president of the student council, I mean, he’d been in this school for such a long time but no student has that much power. He was to graduate soon, his class was the first to graduate since the extension of high school education from eighteen to nineteen-twenty, he was older than many of us but that was no reason for him to hold that much influence.

Yet the poor boy kept on crying and I couldn’t listen to him anymore. Not even the sound of the rain could really drown his sorrows out. I was disappointed in him, and I had no idea why he was crying, but either way he still had a big spot inside my heart and I felt weak hearted, and I did what I had told myself countless time I wouldn’t do. I stood up, picked up my bag and made my way towards the broken boy.

As I stood a few feet in front of him I could feel my heart break slightly, it looked worse than what it sounded. His shirt was soaked with tears and rain, his nose was runny, I couldn’t see his eyes as he covered them with his hands. I walked slowly towards him and he finally seemed to hear me and the weight in air as he went stiff, losely growling as he spoke, “How long have you been there?”

But unlike his voice, his body shook slightly as tears continued to fall from his eyes and down his cheeks. I felt awful, he still was my Jeonggukie. Scared of what others thought, shy and a cry baby, a dummy, impulsive, and reckless, to name a few. He was still my Jeongguk. That’s what I wanted to believe now, would it stay like that though?

“A-ah, shit,” I froze before blindly speaking whatever came to my mind, “Jeonggukie, please don’t cry, uhh, you’ll make me cry too!” I cringed realizing that I had used the ‘special’ nickname I had with him with the technique I always used on him when we were younger so that he’d stopped crying. The nickname wasn’t special anymore, it seemed like all the girls in this school used it on him, but still I could silently pride myself on being the first one to call him that. And that technique wasn’t going to work, he was older now and he hated me, didn’t he?

“Bunny?” He asked shyly, he slowly let his hands drop from his face as a small blush took over his features. Maybe, just maybe, he still was my Jeonggukie somewhere deep down.

Finishing the few steps I needed to be by his side I crouched down to his level, and brought my hand to caress his hair softly, we were getting soaked so I try and cover us with my school bag. Slightly humming as confirmation that it was indeed me, and after him looking over me fast as if to confirm that it was really me, he threw himself at me and I fell on my butt from the force, we were now in the shade of a roof as I hit my back against the wall. He quickly hugged me and immediately began crying once more.

”[Name]! I’m so so sorry if I made you mad or hurt you, oh god, don’t tell me I hurt you!” He began blabbering as he cried harder. What happened to him? Only a few minutes ago he was being the biggest dick to a sweet girl and now he was crying and apologizing to me?

“Jeongguk, what happened?” I tried to ask but he refused to listen and opted to continue apologizing and not letting go. He wasn’t as scrawny as he was when he was younger, he was actually quite *big in comparison to me so pushing him away was out of the question. So I opted to silently embrace him. We had spent such a long time like this that we both ended falling asleep and missing class. Not that I cared, I was happy being like this. I could never be mad at him forever.

By the time I had woken up, I expected Jeongguk to be gone because it was either A) a dream or B) he regretted what he did and decided to be a dick again if not an even bigger one. But to my surprise I woke up to a big pair of doe like eyes staring up at me from his position on top of my chest.

“Bunn,” he began, his voice husky from just waking up, “I’m sorry if I upset you, I know you went up to my house and took your stuff back, I almost had a panic attack when I noticed your things were gone. I’m so sorry if I was ever a dick to you. I-I just love you so much I’m scared I’ll hurt you.” He whispered softly as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, blushing slightly I stare away from him.

”I love you too, Kookie. Don’t worry about anything, ‘kay? You’re always going to be my best friend.”

If only I had noticed how his eyes seemed to have darkened at the mention of best friend.

That day, Jeongguk walked me home. We went up to our lockers, and I was surprised to see one less love note. Today, there were only six. I expected Jeongguk to ask me about it, or ask me if I knew them, but he if anything he seemed more interested in me arriving home safely.

That night was the first night I received a letter inside my house. Freaking out I quickly open the letter only to find out my suspicions were true.

——☽

Our dearest [Name],

We are all very happy to know that you have finally accepted your fate to be with us. It is on our best intentions to tell you that it will not be long until we are reunited again.

In the meantime, we wish you do not engage in any form of relation with any male or female other than the ones you already engage with. If you do happen to break this wish, we are sorry to tell you that we will be forced to deal with the source of the problem very similarly with how a gardener does; take out the malice from the roots. All that we ask of you is to stay put and wait for us as we will come when the time is right.

Meanwhile you wait and we prepare it all, we will be keeping an eye on you at all times. Do not fear anything as we will take care of it for you.

We will meet again but for now,

Goodbye.

-BTS

——

_____________________ღ

——

It had been less than a week since me and Jeongguk had begun hanging out again. And as nice as it felt it also came with this overwhelming feeling whenever he was around, he was too clingy. He’d be there always, and if he wasn’t he’d be calling me or texting me.

He had been doing the latter all day. He said it was his way of saying sorry and that if he could he would’ve come over. And at that, I didn’t know what was worse; him calling me or him being here.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful that we’d finally be able to hang out like we used to, heck yes I was, it’s just not like this. I didn’t like the feeling he brought with him whenever we hung out; it was just like at school. But instead of eyes, it was actions and words.

Who knew words could have such an effect on somebody?

They knew.

The people that have been leaving the notes on my locker knew. I had no idea why, but after a while of this strange occurrence, I started collecting the notes. It became a habit of mine whenever I was bored to try and decipher or try finding patterns in them. And today seemed like a nice day to try, everyday seemed like a nice day to try if it brought me closer to stopping these creeps.

I had turned off my phone. Giving Jeongguk a quick text saying I was going to study so I couldn't have my phone on, liar liar. I had decided to try and analyze the notes, do something with them at least.

And the best way to do so was to go to the beginning.

I decided to paste them to a small notebook I had laying around, so I just had to flip a few pages to find what I was looking for.

The first note, and it happened to be signed by Suga.

It was rather short but heartfelt, and the first time I read it I couldn’t help but blush furiously. It went like this;

”My muse,

I’ve been loving you for a while now, you know? My heart skips a beat every time I see you, and it starts creating a new melody for you, its eternal muse.

All I can do is hope that when our time comes to meet, you help me create the most beautiful symphony for us.

Until tomorrow and forever,

Suga”

Even now, the thought that someone like me was able to inspire someone with such a way for words to create music made my heart skip a beat. But this ‘Suga’ boy wasn’t as sweet as he introduced himself as, slowly I saw his transition from a love struck boy to a sick pervert. Especially on his latest note, which by far has to be one of the creepiest;

”My dearest muse,

What exactly do you think you’re doing? Talking to those no life like that, letting them flirt and touch you. Are you that lonely that you’re willingly letting anybody touch you?

I’m the only one allowed to touch you, perhaps there are few times were I’m allowed to do so but I treasure them intently.

Next time that happens I’ll make sure to cut their dirty hands off and burn them to ashes, so they never bother you again. I promise to send their ashes to you soon.

I  don’t like breaking promises, darling.

Whatever happens remember that I still love you.

With eternal love,

- Your loyal servant, Suga”

Reading the note over and over again I couldn’t help but think that I should go to the police but as quick as the thought formed it had to go away. If it was true that they were watching my every move then I couldn’t risk going to the police because who knew what they’d do, they already knew where I lived and so they must also know my family and friends too. I wasn’t going to go around and risk them unless it got too dangerous.

Time had flown by the window, and by the time I finished reading all of Suga’s letters it had already turned dark.

”Ah, I must’ve skipped lunch and dinner...”, I mutter. I wasn’t surprised, actually, it happened very often where I’d be so caught up I forgot about time. Today was no exception it seems.

Everyone in my house, except for myself, were out for the next week. I wasn’t worried about being by myself, neither about the stalkers since from what I caught on they seem more keen on keeping me out of harm, strangely knowing that they were there and would try and keep harm away from me made me worry less about the dangers of being by myself, though a recurring theme on their letters was taking me away when the right time came that was going to be easy to avoid; I just wasn’t going to give them the right time. I’d make it impossible for them to take me until I could be sure that I and my family could be safe, then I’d go to the police. That’s the plan, the best case scenario.

Deciding that it was enough blabbering to myself, I try to cheer myself up and go make some food. I wasn’t going to make some Gordon Ramsay premium meal, fuck that shit, I’d just go for one of those 5-6 minutes microwave dishes or whatever.

As the dish sat in the microwave I decided to turn on my phone, and not to my surprise Jeongguk had bombarded my phone with texts and calls. Even though I wasn’t surprised, it didn’t mean it didn’t creep or worry me out.

We hadn’t even been around each other for a week and he already was slightly getting on my nerves. I was going to have a talk with him about respecting others privacy.

I open the messenger app to find texts after text from Jeongguk. My chest slightly hurt, since when was he this dependable?

——☽

Jeonggukie

Hey i’m gonna be studying so i’ll have to turn my phone off (>o<) :ME

Jeonggukie: okay (^o^)!

Jeonggukie: it’s fine just text me once you’re done!

Jeonggukie: gtg team needs its’ golden player again

[sent at 1:16pm]

Jeonggukie: YOY O Y OY O!!!!

Jeonggukie: Why haven’t you texted me bakc?

Jeonggukie: *back

Jeonggukie: are u mad @ me??

Jeonggukie: Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

[sent at 1:23pm]

Jeonggukie: wait.... don’t tell me you’re actually mad?

Jeonggukie: fuck,

Jeonggukie: gtg again for practice but by the time i’m back you better not be studying anymore and be online with me,,,

[sent at 2:34pm]

Jeonggukie: [Name]...

Jeonggukie: Are you ok?

Jeonggukie: You’re not hurt right?!

Jeonggukie: Oh fuck....

Jeonggukie: What if someone took you?!

Jeonggukie: What if someone HURT you?!

Jeonggukie: [Last name] [Name] you better text me right now or else I might do something we both will regret....

[sent at 4:20pm]

Jeonggukie: [Name]...

Jeonggukie: I went over to their house but,

Jeonggukie: They told me you weren’t with them...

Jeonggukie: They also didn’t know where you are...

Jeonggukie: Or if you’re with someone

Jeonggukie: So then the question is...

Jeonggukie: Where are you Bunn?

Jeonggukie: They didn’t tell me :(

Jeonggukie: Will you tell me?

Jeonggukie: :(

[sent at 5:37pm]

Jeonggukie: They told me they didn’t know but I know they’re lying!

Jeonggukie: So I took care of them!!

Jeonggukie: Aren’t you happy?!

Jeonggukie: Awww, but now I’m dirty :((

Jeonggukie: Your prince can’t be dirty can he?

[sent at 7:43pm]

Jeonggukie: i still can’t find u tho...

Jeonggukie: you can’t be still studying... actually you may!

Jeonggukie: idk BunBun, it seems weird to me u never did this before....

[sent at 7:56pm]

Jeonggukie: u know what!

Jeonggukie: I'm going over to your house!

Junggukie: and if you’re not there or with someone else...

Jeonggukie: Kookie is going on a man hunt ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

[sent at 8:00pm]

——☽

What the hell? What was he going on about? In all honesty I was curious, but I didn’t want to find out. The more I thought about what Jeon had texted me, the more it confused me. Thoughts mixed with illusions, and facts mixed with theories.

What if Jeongguk was one of the note writers?

It seems so far fetched, I mean how did I even come with that conclusion, but it also makes so much sense. If he was one of these creeps then- no, he couldn’t, but then it could explain his weird behavior. My gut feeling was hysterically telling me to block him out of my life but...

Heck, [Name] stop it, you’re mixing up reality with fantasy and making life more difficult than what it should be. I did my best to push the thought away, but it somehow always found a way to linger in my mind. But there’s no way Jeongguk would be stalking me, we had barely even reconciled. I had been so caught up in thoughts that I hadn’t heard the front door opening, and by the time I did the intruder had already made their way to the kitchen. Tensing up at not only the arrival of the intruder but also at the obnoxious sound of the microwave announcing itself ready, I jump slightly when a hand pats my shoulder to then engulf me in a hug.

”Bunny! Oh my god! I thought someone had hurt you!”, Jeongguk pouted, “Why didn’t you answer my texts, [Name]?”

Feeling uncomfortable I slightly push his hands off me but to no avail as he continues holding me tight.

“God! Jeongguk, I told you I was studying! Not everyone can get A’s without working!” I try to sound as true and confident as possible. If my assumptions were true then any false move could mean hell for me.

“Ah, Darling you flatter me!” He joked, “but don’t go around thinking like that, don’t tell me someone told you the opposite?”

Fuck, why is he acting so weird! Who even asks these questions? This wasn’t the Jeongguk I left. He’s meant to get these thoughts away not confirm them!

“Jeez, Jeon, it’s nothing I promise you. This test is very important to me and I can’t risk failing it” I try to reason with him he was acting unreasonably right now.

“Mhm, is that so?” He questions as he lays his head on top of mine, “Then it’s decided. Tomorrow I’ll take you to a friends house so he can teach you, he’s really smart Bunny!” He laughed a bit.

“Haha, really?” I ask slightly disheartened.

”Yeah, his name is Kim Namjoon, do you know him by any chance?”

Hell fucking no, he couldn’t be talking about council president Kim Namjoon, right?

“The-the council president?” I gulped, please no no no no no no no no no no n-

“Yes, you’re not that anti-social, Bunny.”

Fuck.

——————————☽

[Earlier || 3rd p.o.v]

Jeongguk was freaking out. You hadn’t answered his text for a while now. You couldn’t be studying for that long, right? You normally always had your phone with you so then why weren’t you texting him? Had you met someone better? Did you meet someone better? Even after all he did for you? He changed so much because of you and you were paying him like this? It was clear to him that you wouldn't be studying for that long.

No, it wasn’t you, it was probably some pesky friend of yours keeping you away from him, let’s be real you love him so why would you ignore him.

Jeongguk didn’t like that at all.

Maybe what he was going to was harsh, but it wasn’t like it was his first time doing this for you. But he couldn’t do it alone.

He had gotten so anxious and scared something had happened to you he began shaking. With the anxiety eating him away he shakily dialed the number and waited to get his call to get picked up.

”Namjoon, I need help with something”

It had taken Jeongguk and Jimin little to no time finding out where your ‘friends’ were.

”Does she really have to hang out with people like them?” Jimin asked Jeongguk, accentuating them. It was clear that the boy didn’t approve of the people you hung out with, why couldn’t you hang out with him instead? He was clearly better than these Joy and Lisa girls.

”Oi! It’s not my fault none of you had the balls to hang out with her before.” Jeongguk snarled at his older friend, they made you happy, why was Jimin questioning you?

“Well, why don’t you grow a pair and hang out with her then?” Jimin mocked, he knew why, they all knew why.

”Oh shut up you burnt piece of-“

Just as Jeongguk was about to throw a punch, the front door open and out came your best friend, Joy.

Confused she started at the two boys and asked, “Jeon, Park? What are you two doing here?”

Jumping slightly, Jimin offered her a charming smiling as he pushed Jeongguk's’ hand away, “Aw! Joy you caught us! We were just wondering about [Name], and since you two are friends we thought we’d come and ask you!”

It didn't make sense to Joy why they’d come to her house when they could’ve texted he, much less when they could have directly asked [Name]r.

“Why didn’t you call me then? It would’ve been easier...” She trailed off.

“We didn’t have your number!” Jeongguk smiled.

Liars, they did have her number and she knew it, how else would’ve they invited her to those parties. That’s when she noticed why it felt odd.

“Well, how did your know where I live” She questioned further, they weren’t acting like usual. Joy never liked them, to be honest, she always found them weird but this was on another level.

”We checked the school records, silly!” Jimin laughed, he was starting to get annoyed.

”What are talking about? Stop acting so weird!” She shouted, who would go that far to know where someone lived!

Plus, the school records had her dad’s house not this one!

”Atta, girl!”, Jimin smirked walking towards the girl, “You haven’t been answering any of our questions and it’s getting annoying..”

”Where is [Name]?” Jeongguk butted in.

Shaking her head slightly she tried closing the door on them, things were escalating quickly and she didn’t like where this was going.

”Stupid girl, where is she?” Jimin asked harsher, she was taking too long and he wasn’t sure how much longer he was willing to put up with her. Jimin was a patient good boy but when it came to you he couldn’t wait, he wasn’t going to wait.

”I-I don’t know now leave me alone!”

Oh poor Joy!

—☽

It had taken the boys a few hours but eventually she broke, everyone brakes eventually.

But sadly, it was true; she didn’t know where you were.

And now the boys had spilled blood that shouldn’t have been spilled.

”Look what you did Jeongguk!”, Jimin scowled as he dragged what he hoped and looked like the leftovers of a girl's arm, “Now we have to clean this whole shit up by ourselves, you little bitch. ”

The younger boy had been given the task of taking out the heavy load as he had been the one responsible for this kill.

“How many times do I have to tell you she wasn’t, and still isn’t for your fucking information, picking up my calls or responding to my texts!” He shouted from outside, it was true. While Jimin was busy trying to coax out information about your whereabouts, Jeongguk had been repeatedly calling you.

“Be grateful we actually got useful information about [Name] or else I would’ve told Namjoon about your breakdown.” The eldest of the two threatened as he glared at the younger boy.

They had been cleaning for a good hour when they realized they still had a shit more to clean, deciding to call for help, they patiently sat at the dead girls house as they roamed through a box of momentum’s Joy had of her and her friends.

And to their luck, she had a few pictures of you. They had passed the rest of the wait there going through her stuff trying to find anything about or from you, which they did. In their eyes, they hit the mother load.

They had been so caught up by the box and it’s content they hadn’t realized their friends had arrived.

It was like the two boys were there with you! Gushing at the thought they searched further and further in the seemingly never ending box.

“Kook, we need help if you want to burn the evidence, I’m afraid you’ll need to-“, Namjoon started but his voice drifted off as he took a better look at the box in the youngest hands, “What’s that?”

”Ah! Just a box Jiminie and I found at the girls house, if you look closely it has a lot of stuff from [Name]!” Jeongguk exclaimed happily, hell yes he was proud of himself, he means, how many times can the others say they found anything remotely similar to this?

”Are you sure there’s nothing else like that in the house?” Namjoon asked again as he took a look through the box, maybe there’d be something, anything that could help get closer to you, help him get closer to you.

”Don’t know...”, Jimin trailed off, “maybe we can search while we finish the place up.”

And that’s what they did, four boys; Namjoon, Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung went through the house searching for anything that could be of use to them. But to much of their dismay, they didn’t find much.

Clearly pissed Namjoon mercilessly threw the lighter at the house setting the building ablaze. Without even looking back, he made his way to the car and patiently waited for his friends as they watched the building burn.

After a while, Jimin and Taehyung suggested Jeongguk to continue searching for you. And so the youngest did, texting you about going to your house he asks his friends to drop him there.

As they watched him leave the car Namjoon calls out to him, “Kook, we helped you with your little stunt but now you have to help us, you’ll set us up with her somehow, ok?”

A little nervous, Jeongguk just nods. How is he supposed to set you and the other three up? Turning around towards your house he sees the lights on, you had to be there. Scolding himself for not checking your house earlier he invites himself in, not really caring if you wanted privacy or not.

Because why would you want to be away from your groom?

———☽

[Present// 1st p.o.v]

After leading Jeongguk out of my house, after agreeing to take his stupid study lessons with that Namjoon man, I can’t wait to go to sleep.

Taking a quick shower, I throw myself at my bed only to be met with the odd feeling of paper against my chest.

Terror courses through my veins as I slowly sit up from a lying position. Oh hell no, please no. Fully sitting up, I stare in front of me to find a pretty, slightly crumbled, white envelope with a pretty heart sticker in the middle.

How did it get here? The only other person who came here was.... Jeongguk. But when did he come inside my room?

——☽

Our Dearest [Name],

We are happy to see that you keep the notes we give you!

It shows how much we mean to you, of course you will never understand the extents we’d go for you. You will soon learn how to truly accept us as your future lovers.

It does sadden most of us to see you only read Suga’s letters, in the other hand he was beaming. Tell us, darling, do you read the rest of our notes like that too?

We hope.

Anyway, we are glad that we will have an opportunity to get closer soon, and we trust your feelings will come to light soon too.

With Love,

-BTS

———☽

_____________ღ

The fated day had arrived, and I was now heading over to Jeongguk’s house for our study session. I was terrified. I didn’t want to meet Jeongguk, not now that this awful theory had planted itself on my brain, and I definitely didn’t want to meet Namjoon.

Kim Namjoon, face of an angel and a personality Satan himself would be jealous of. He was student council president. At the beginning he was a sweetheart, he tricked all of us to believe him to be one. He was despicable, using his powers to his advantage to remain on top of the social hierarchy at school. Even if it was just school to some, he saw it as an opportunity to climb his way up in society now. Hanging out with the kids whose parents were CEO’s, treating them with respect and giving them what they wanted. And excellent grades, working extra credit every day and following the rules like a bible. And just like that he had managed to secure himself job offers from big companies at the age of eighteen and a half, he had enough offers that he could get fired from each one everyday for years and never be jobless. But to keep such a picture perfect image some dirty work needed to be done, of course his hands wouldn’t even budge as he always had someone else do it for him.

He was so wicked and corrupted the Devil himself was afraid.

I was shaking throughout the whole drive, my legs began moving by themselves and it suddenly felt like I wasn’t in my body anymore.

“Gran, are we close?” I asked, my voice breaking at the possibility of only being a few minutes.

”No, baby, the road we normally take closed so it’ll take us a while longer put it half an hour? God, why do things like this happen at the worst times?” Gran commented, she was right. Why do the worst things happen when you least need them to? Was there a need for balance? Did every time something good happens something bad had to contradict the previous events as if to remind you that ‘hey this is real life not a movie, so bad shit happens, deal with it’.

Sighing I tell Gran that I’ll try sleeping the rest of the trip off, maybe it’ll take my mind off things, hopefully I won’t dream surely they’d be nightmares.

But sleep wouldn’t take me, thoughts about what could happen, whether it be due to the nonsense that my brain had come up with or not wasn’t clear to me, the thoughts haunted me and sleep seemed farther and farther away.

So for the rest of the car ride I just stared ahead of me. I counted clouds, the number of red cars that passed, how many people would wave back at me if I waved, how many dogs were on the street, I did everything to not be reminded that I would drown in the five hours without parental supervision next to a former friend and potential stalker and a student council president sociopath.

Closing my eyes I let out a sigh, maybe if I don’t speak about anything personal and just focus on studying it’ll go faster.

——☽

By the time we had arrived at Jeongguk’s house I was almost an hour late. And knowing from experience Namjoon didn’t like it at all. My friend Irene, the head of our club had told us stories about the boys’ ill temper. Approaching the driveway, I fumbled with my book bag and silently prayed that some stupid shit happened to Namjoon and that he wouldn’t be able to come to the tutoring session. But whatever deity is up there seemed to want to fuck me over and went out there and made him wait for me outside. And damn did he look pissed.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck- I pissed Kim Namjoon! I had unwillingly and unknowingly pissed Kim Namjoon, and now here he was death glaring at my car.

I didn’t care that my grandmother was driving me, fuck that, what I did care was what Namjoon could and would say. His presence was enough to invoke fear and terror and plant it in my chest.

Getting out of the car I ask my gran to pick me up earlier, “Grans, I know the session ends at six, and it’s now one but please for all that’s good pick me up at five or maybe even earlier? Make anything up, that you needed me for something! I don’t know like, help with the tv or whatever, please! I’ll do anything!” I begged her.

”Why? Weren’t you and that Jeon boy friends?” She asked me curiously, she didn’t exactly shoot down my offer yet I knew that did I say anything wrong she’d probably pick me up at ten out of spite.

”Used to, we got into a fight and I don’t want to stay with him too long, I-please.”

”Fine, fine. Just text me and I’ll come before but no matter what I’ll pick you up at five okay?”

Nodding viciously, I thank her and bid her goodbye. I had an escape plan now if things went south, and if I grew uncomfortable I could text the girls, now all that’s left is actually going through with the study session.

“Ah! Hello [Name], it seems you finally showed up!” Namjoon says as he stands up to shake my hand, I don't know if he’s being kind or just being a sarcastic prick, but at this point, I don’t care, I needed this to go faster, so fast that it’d seem like a dream, a horrible and awkward dream.

”Oh yes, the street I normally take was closed due to a house fire nearby” I try to excuse myself.

”Oh yes! I heard it was quite brutal, it seems they also found a dead girl there, I think she went to our school, Park Sooyeong or Joy does it ring a bell?” He asks faking concern, why do I think he’s faking concern? Maybe it was due to the way his eyes twinkled with wonder when I asked him what he meant, maybe it was for the joy laced in his tone.

“I’m sorry, what?” I laugh, tears gathered around my eyes as I tried to understand the wicked grin that sat in his face, why couldn’t he have told me differently, not so vaguely and so disinterested probably because he knows she was my best friend, because she’d always cause him trouble, because she was different; why? Joy, the thought of her dead made me start bawling my eyes right there. She couldn’t be.. dead? She had called me yesterday to make plans to hang out next weekend. Her happy voice haunted me, there’s no way.... Why hadn’t anyone told me before? Was she the only one dead? Or did her mother and sister die too? Why wasn’t it on the news? Or had I been so selfish that I didn’t check properly?

”Shhh, [Name], it’s okay! You’re safe,” Namjoon whispers as he pulls me into a hug, from what would I be safe? I didn’t care and my grip on his shirt tightened, I wanted to pull him away, “They won’t hurt you, they’d never hurt you.”

Who?

Who was he talking about and why was he so certain. Suddenly something clicked in my brain, something Jeongguk said the rooftop that day.

”Why won’t she like me! I did everything Namjoon told me to do.... I did everything!”

Namjoon. He had something to do with Jeongguk acting weird, and now here he is not worrying about the death of somebody but me? Jeongguk and Namjoon. They did hang out together, did they not?  Nothing made sense anymore, and I didn’t know what was real or fake. It kept getting mixed up in my head. What if Jeongguk and Namjoon are working together?

“What are you talking about? You make it sound as if it was a serial killer, this town is safe why would a killer be loose?” I ask, I needed to get as much information out of him and Jeongguk as possible. But there is no way he’ll believe-

“Oh, haven’t you heard what I said? They mutilated the girl, it has to be someone experienced with murder and getting away, I mean if you looked at the news you’d see, they found pieces of the dead bodies all around the street, there were footprints of five to four different shoes and sizes, unless the perpetrator had many different sized feet then it’s clear that there were more people, at the very least four. It’s even said that whoever mutilated the body, even if not being a doctor due to the way the bones had been sliced, was someone with experience.” He stated matter of factly, but it just didn’t seem right to me. What news? No news station had reported any of this. My grandma had the news on as I got ready and no news about this had been displayed at all, and how would these things get out to the public? Different shoe sizes, what were they going to do, measure everyones’ feet?

But before I could ask any other question Jeongguk came out rather excited for our study session. I think this is the first time since coming back that I’ve been glad Jeongguk showed up.

In my head this suddenly this wasn’t just a study session, this was my opportunity to figure what the hell was happening, not only to me but to Joy and the town.

——☽

We had spent three hours studying and I still had no progress on my new mission. And it honestly felt like hell. I sighed slightly as Namjoon kept on rambling about Newton’s laws of motion, acceleration and pressure. I knew this stuff, not to a cup of tea but definitely more than what Namjoon seemed to think I knew.

He suddenly stopped though, maybe my sigh wasn’t as discreet as I thought it was and he looked at me straight in the eyes without saying anything. Finding this a bit creepy I look over to Jeongguk, who had been unusually quiet, to find him staring at me with the same intensity, let’s say for lack of better wording.

Feeling utterly uncomfortable, I excuse myself to the bathroom only to be grabbed by not only Namjoon but Jeongguk from both wrists, not letting me stand up properly. It was a horror KDrama scene. I stumbled to the floor and gasped, what the hell?

”Uh,I need to go to the bathroom? Can you, like, let me go?” I question, what the fuck are they doing?

”Don’t-don’t take too long, Bunny!” Jeongguk says blushing as he retrieves his hand waiting for Namjoon to do the same.

”Y-yeah, we-we still have a lot to cover!” Namjoon tried to cover up his embarrassment by bringing up more work, fuck him for that.

”Yeah, I’ll keep it in mind...”

I hurried to the bathroom with my bag in my arms and pull out my phone. I hadn’t used it all day, too scared about seeing my inbox flooded by texts from Jeongguk. As fast as I could I open the messenger app and tap on our friend group.

——☽

NO LIFE’S AND THEIR MOM LOL

Nini♥︎: omfg, did you guys hear?

[Sent at 12:57PM]

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: yeah, i didn’t believe it

Rosie🌹: my mom sat me down and told me

Rosie🌹: i haven’t cried this much in ages

[Sent at 1:34PM]

Mom-rene💖: who’d do this?

Seulgi bear🐻: I heard they stole the friend box she had

Seulgi bear🐻: like, the one with pics and stuff about us?

Wen-Wen💙: the one she did with us when [name] came???

Seulgi bear🐻: yeah, it’s gone

[Sent at 1:35PM]

Chicken🦆: so you’re saying someone broke into joy's house, burned it, killed her all for a box??

Yerim💜: who the fuck would do that that’s sick as fuck,,,,

[Sent at 1:45PM]

Seulgi Bear🐻: ok so you know how my dad works at the police station???

Nini♥︎: yes

Yerim💜: seulgi......

Seulgi Bear🐻: they found the box

Mom-rene💖: what?!

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: with all of the stffu

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: *stuff

Seulgi Bear🐻: now, don’t freak out much but

Seulgi Bear🐻: they found fingerprints, they assume that’s the people that killed Joy AND  burned her house....

Rosie🌹: people???

Chicken🦆: like more than 1?

Seulgi Bear🐻: yes, but here’s where it gets really weird.... all of the stuff about us was there...

Mom-rene💖: tell me how’s that weird?

Seulgi Bear🐻: All but [name]’s

Seulgi Bear🐻: her stuff was gone, all of it.

Nini♥︎: you don’t think....

Wen-Wen💙: seulgi,

Wen-Wen💙: who’s fingerprints did they find??

Seulgi Bear🐻: Park Jimin’s, Jeon Jeongguk’s and Kim Namjoon’s, those were in the box

Seulgi Bear🐻: in the door handle they found Kim Taehyung’s

Mom-rene💖: [name]! weren’t you at Jeongguk’s house with Namjoon?!

Yerim💜: get out of there!

Chicken🦆: now!!

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: she’s not responding, omg do you think she is dead??

Seulgi Bear🐻: she will be fine, the police are investigating further, don’t worry [name]

Yerim💜: can’t they just arrest them!!

Seulgi Bear🐻: sadly, they need more evidence... they could’ve found the box after  the murder left or maybe even before, joy could have gifted it to them and Taehyung could’ve gone over to her house before, you know how they used to date and all....

Mom-rene💖: but IF they’re the stalkers, does that mean they’re also responsible for the love notes?

Wen-Wen💙: idk probably

Rosie🌹: So they’ll probably not hurt her,,,,

Mom-rene💖: [name], whenever you read this, getting out of there understood?

Nini♥︎: go to seulgi’s house, k?

Seulgi Bear🐻: we will all be there, you’re not alone....

[Sent 3:47PM]

I’m getting out of here now, don’t worry:You

[Sent at 3:53PM]

——☽

“I’m sorry but I need to go now, my grandma just texted me.”

___________

“Wait! What? [Name] don’t go, please!” I heard Jeongguk yell behind me, causing Namjoon to look at him. I ran as I saw Namjoon turn away and Jeongguk run beside him.

I hid behind the wall  of the corridor as Jeongguk scrambled next to Namjoon, asking him what to do. I could hear Namjoon talking over the phone and Jeongguk crying his eyes out whispering soft mantra of “What do we do?”.

“S-shit, Jeongguk stop screaming- [Name] left? N-no Jin don’t hang up, I-I know we’re in deep shit but- yes, we’ll be more careful next time, and we’ll- yes, we are going to call you if we- when we do it again”, Namjoon sighed, “she doesn’t know, she left running I think, she was texting her friends’ silence, “Yeah she’s friends with Seulgi the daughter of the chief detective- Shit!”

He hung up and made his way towards the bathroom door, in other words the other side of the room, the side I wasn’t in. Bolting my way outside I make my way towards Seulgi’s house.

Just who was Jin, why was Jeongguk acting so weird and what dip shit were they in?

——☀︎

“G-god! [Name] you’re alive!” Irene threw herself at me the minute I entered Seulgi’s room.

Irene was never one to cry, but here she was mourning the death of her friend, our friend Joy, she was gone. Seeing all my friends in a room faces red and eyes swollen made me realize that it was true; Joy was dead.

That they killed Joy.

”It has to be them, it just has to be!” The youngest, Yeri, cried, she was a few months older than me yet we always treated her as the baby.

”I-it probably is them, dad said so and he’s good I-I trust he’ll bring justice to Joy.” Seulgi whispered, she seemed to be in disbelief, I remembered how she used to like Jimin only a few weeks ago.

”Cheeky, you were with Jeongguk and Namjoon, two of the suspects weren’t you?” Lisa asked, she was stroking Rosé’s hair as the later filled the room with sobs, I couldn’t bear to watch her.

”Y-yeah, they were acting w-weirder than usual.” I choked out, tears brimmed my eyes and I realized I hadn’t cried much over Joy’s death; why? Because Namjoon freaked me out and Jeongguk is a weirdo, that’s why.

“W-when I left N-Namjoon was t-talking about not getting caught”, I sink into the bed beside Rosé, “T-they talked about the police a-and I-I think they killed Joy”

“But why?”, Jennie asked exasperated, “Why would they kill Joy? What did Joy have that no one else did?”

“Well- I mean, hadn’t we established that they were the love note writers?”, Yeri asked and we all nodded, “So remember how they started getting weirder and weirder as time went on?”

Again, we only nodded.

“So, what if they are the stalkers? I-I mean not like average stalkers I mean full out ‘I-Will-Kill-For-You’ stalkers? Like, Joy was friends with [Name], and both of you hanged out a lot even without us, so what if they wanted to, I don’t know, figure out where you were and they got mad or something and killed her? I mean, it’s not really the first time someone close to us or someone that has shown interest in us, in [Name], has died suddenly, and you’ve all got to admit they’ve always acted weird when [Name] was around. We always played it off as coincidence but, really…? That’s just dumb..” Yeri trailed off, I was left in shock at how much sense it all made; had I been that stupid?

“There we have killers and a motive.” Seulgi said slowly, it made so much sense that another wave of tears came.

“But! They have an alibi, don’t they?” Wendy spoke for the first time with a hoarse voice, she sounded defeated, it hurt seeing somebody as extroverted as her so quite.

”What if it doesn’t coincide with , for example, Jeongguk did though, I mean I was with him that day...”

”What? What do you mean, [Name]?” Rosé asked, probably excited at the possibility of Joy getting justice, but a part of her also seemed confused.

”What was Jeongguk’s alibi, Seulgi?”

”Seokjin said that he, Jeongguk, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin had spent the whole evening with him and that they didn’t really leave the house.” Seulgi recalled, yet something felt odd...

”That is just plain wrong, Jeongguk went over to my house, the-the day of the murder he was out! Seokjin is in this, maybe it’s true that he was at home but the rest no, and so is Namjoon, of those two, when I went to Jeongguk’s house I saw a car that was probably Namjoon’s,  so that’s a fact now, though he drives like shit, Jeongguk told me that, and the car that had dropped him off had a very bad driver because my front house neighbors’ complained about a black van that almost ran over their sons in a play date that day, that was Namjoon! S-so it’s possible Jimin and Taehyung were there too!”

“A black van? Dad said that a few witnesses saw a black van!”, Seulgi added in shock, “Kim Yerim you’re a genius!”

“Now we need evidence, to get them in jail where they belong”, Jennie spoke up, “But how do we do that?”

”Easy, we know their weaknesses and we’ll use it against them,'' Irene said determined, she sounded as if she was planning something, “They won’t get away with this.”

”And what is that?” Wendy asked her, she sounded unsure at the idea of interacting with them.

”Their weakness is [Name], she'll need to get close to them, gain their trust and then find clues as to what is going on... that is if she’s up to it.” Irene looked me in the eye.

”We now know they are serious trouble, are you up for it [Name]?”, Jisoo looked up from the window, she had spent the whole conversation so quiet I hadn’t even noticed her, “Do you want to put an end to this?”

“Yes.”

_____________ღ

Year: 20##

Place: Some Dumpster

Point of view: Hoseok Jung

———☀︎

Biting at my bottom lip I try to slow down my pace as to not bring too much attention to me, that’d be bad. Very bad. It’s not like what I was doing was going to not draw attention to myself, everyone stared at me suspiciously as I walked with my big, green bag. I would too, honestly.

The bag itself wasn’t what would draw attention, it was the smell. It smelt fucking awful, and I knew that everywhere I went it left the smell of a corpse around. Sure, if someone used their imagination they could come up with a strange and repulsive accusation, but then again...

What could have I done?

No one would suspect a 15 year old of murder, would they? I could easily say it was my gym clothes, with puberty and all. It wasn’t the whole body, oh no! We left the big stuff to Seokjin and Yoongi, I just had the inside stuff, the organs. But most importantly and my biggest worry was the heart.

A thief’s heart.

The heart that almost stole [Name]’s. His name was Mark Lee, he was around [Name]’s age, maybe younger, they had a few classes together and talked every once in a while when he suddenly decided to confess to her, who was he to do so? But that wasn’t a problem, that wasn’t meant to be a problem. All she had to do was rejected and then we’d all be okay, but no; she gave him a chance.

She gave that little asshole a chance but wouldn’t even spare a glance my way. And for that I was going to make his life a living hell.

They were going on their first date tomorrow, it was meant to be at the movies to watch  a crappy romance movie she’d been gushing about with him about, ha, watching movies at a first date with my [Name]? She deserves the best first date in the world, something only I can give her. She doesn’t deserve that, not from him, she deserves the world.

“And you can’t give that to her, can you Lee?” I mumbled as I made my way to the dumpster.

——☽

By the time I arrived at the dumpster, the sun had set and the whole sky had an orange tint to it, [Name] would be home probably in her room doing whatever her little heart wanted, maybe getting ready for the big day tomorrow and a big day it was.

Opening the bag I gently sit down in the middle of the garbage, I look for the healthiest and best looking organs and store them little containers Seokjin had given me before, he had taken them from one of his father's hospitals, he wouldn’t miss them they had many. The old man had everything, hospitals to hotels. Those organs we’d sell or do whatever Yoongi did with them, we didn't care what he did with them as long as it brought money for the our, my her, plan.  

Humming, I put on the gloves and prepare myself to take out the organs that seemed to have taken the least damage from Jimin’s little fit with the younger boy, poor Mark his handsome face was completely destroyed now. Too bad, [Name] wouldn’t even want to look him in the face now.

“Aish, the kid needs to learn not to break valuable stuff like this...”, I muttered as I try and arrange Mark’s brain nicely in the box, “Why did you have a brain and didn’t use it? It’s making such a mess now, it’s only use is that making messes, look where it led you Mark. Now you’re dead and probably getting sold to some weird Frankenstein scientist or something...”

Looking at the boxes I had arranged, I take out my spare phone and text Yoongi warning him where the boxes where for him to pick tomorrow, if he didn’t we could get into some shitty  trouble. Now I could focus on the main attraction.

The Heart.

Putting on my gloves again I play with the small organ, it fit nicely in my hand.

“What happens if I give you a- haha!”, I squeeze the muscle a bit and see it twitch as it continues palpitating slightly, “Haha, look at this! Useless, you aren’t even attached to someone and yet you try so hard to be useful, pathetic.”

Tossing the heart around for awhile I grew tired, and decided to finish the boy off.

“You’re lucky Namjoon didn’t want me bringing the kit with me or else you would’ve been dissected right here, right now”, I looked at it with pity, “God, you were very naive you know? Thinking someone like [Name] would even be interested in you, ha, please”

I take it and squeeze it tighter, blood gushing from the little arteries.

Quickly getting the butcher knife from the bag, with shaky hands I cut the heart in small pieces trying to make them as symmetrical as possible. Fucking disgusting.

”Now! Don’t you look better?”, I ask to no one as I place the heart pieces with the rest of the organs that Yoongi wouldn’t be able to sell, “Bet you your friends would love to have a taste of you won’t they? Seokjin and Taehyung will have a good meal to prepare for your friends now~”

I laugh a bit as I fish for a bag around the dumpster, finding a broken recycled bag I place the containers filled with the body parts and store them for Yoongi, “You’re lucky we like the same girl or else I would’ve ratted on you ages ago...”I muttered as I place the containers in then old, worn out bag, “This is all for you, [Name]”

Does this mean I’m happy sharing? No, of fucking course I’m not.

But who said I can’t rat them all out later?

Laughing loudly, I take out the gas and lighter as I throw the gasoline around the area making a heart, or at least something similar.

“This is all for you, baby” I repeat as I throw the lighter at the fire. I watch a bit as the fire grew and grew taller and taller, deciding that I should change clothes I strip down from my sweatpants and stay only using my t-shirt, only then I realized how cold it was.

All for [Name].

Sighing a bit, I dirty my spare pants to make it look like I had gotten into a fight or something, even going as far as punching myself to create bruises; who would suspect a boy how had just gotten mugged?

Taking off my shoes and one sock I throw into the fire, watching it burn brighter as I throw stuff into it, filling it, making it go higher and higher and-

“It’s like my love for you”, I giggle, “the love I’ll be able to give to you soon, very soon”

No one would suspect Jung Hoseok for murder; I won’t let them.

_____________ღ

“Geeze, [Name], we didn’t really think this through did we?”, Wendy whispered beside me as we made our way through the school halls, she was right. We, indeed, didn’t think this through.

”I mean, yeah- we didn’t think through it all, but god if we’re right it’d make things so much easier for Seulgi’s dad to catch them!”, I explain as I try and mask the, very obvious, fear, “Plus, I don’t think it’s just Joy they killed, they must’ve done this multiple times, it was all to clean, Namjoon himself said so, plus if they got out of it once who says they couldn’t have done it before?”

“Yeah, plus why would a police station have their data in it if they hadn’t found their dna somewhere else?” Wendy questioned anxiously, I hadn’t noticed it before. But then again, didn’t the police station have the dna of all of those who lived in town? But then, they did seem wary considering the way Seulgi's’ dad spoke of them.

”Mark.” I stop walking as I suddenly stop dead in my tracks.

”Mark Lee? The dude that went missing before your date...” Wendy stared at me as she trailed off.

”You don’t think?”, she asked me shaking slightly, “That they had something to do?”

“I mean-“

”Hello! You’re both Wendy and [Name], right?” A student council member asked us.

Ah yes, the plan.

“Yeah! We wanted to talk to Kim Namjoon about perhaps holding a funeral service for our friend Park Sooyeong, she passed away a few days ago. We are on the list, right?`` I ask trying to make myself sound as sad as possible, Wendy catching on and only responding with a nod and a short sniffle.

“Yes, please, can we speak with Namjoon?”

”Yes. Follow me,” He walks towards the farthest door, us walking closely behind, “So, please don’t take long, Namjoon has been acting really off lately, don’t-don’t tell him I said that! So the council is trying to take as many interviews and meetings ourselves.”

The boy looked at us, concern lacing his eyes as he whispers, “Please, be safe and don’t anger him too much.”

He then motions towards the door and leaves.

”Wendy, leave it to me, stay here, please.”

——☽

I knocked on the door thrice, when I heard a faint “Come in”, followed by some paper shuffling.

I open the door and peek inside, this was unexpected. The room was mainly filled with browns and dark reds, the schools colors, the furniture giving an antique feel to the room. In the middle, the desk of the council president sat, a leather couch by its side and two chairs in front. It looked like the whole schools budget went into the room. No wonder Namjoon blackmailed students.

”State your business an-“, he began monotonously when he looked up at me to meet my eyes, “[N-Name], I didn’t think it-it was you, I- here! Take a seat please!”

He was stuttering and he couldn’t even form a sentence.

“Ah, Namjoon! Please don’t worry, it’s fine”, I smile at him as I sit down, “I came here to talk about the funeral service for Sooyeong, Joy, she-she was really close to me an-and now that she’s gone, I- we felt it would be important to be able to hold something in her memory, you know?”, I feel tears swell in my eyes at the thought of my friend. Maybe acting like it hurt wasn’t going to be as hard as I had thought, fate had laid down the prefect Shakespearean tragedy.

He slightly stiffened at the mention of Joy, or my tears I don’t know at this point. Blushing red he gives me a small pocket handkerchief, and looks at me smiling, how can he smile so freely?

“Would that make you happy?” He looks at me as he grabs my hand, his hand covered all of my hand, his smile was cute; but he may have been the murderer of my best friend and there’s no way I’ll forget that. Until he’s proven innocent, I won’t budge. Too much evidence was piled up against him.

“Yeah, it would, it really would, thank you”, I smile back at him.

“Anything for a friend”, he smiles, “You’re friends with Jeongguk so you’re friends with me too.” He squeezes my hand slightly, and let’s it go hesitantly.

He stands up, walking all the way towards me from behind the desk just to help me stand up. He places his hand around my shoulders, leading me towards the door. Shouldn’t this meeting be longer?

“Namjoon, I shouldn’t be saying this but...”, I suddenly stop at the front of the door, shaking slightly from fear and sadness; real fear and sadness, “Seulgi’s dad, who’s in the case, thinks that maybe they killed Joy because she was my friend, I’m scared Namjoon. He said it was definitely a murderer, and that it was all to similar to other ones he had participated in; he searched for a bit and found that there were at least two cases that were similar Mark Lee and Vernon Choi, and they were close to me, th-then he said that other people close to me kept disappearing even after I left, and even more now that I’m back th-he thinks I’m next and I’m scared Namjoon, I-I don’t know what to do. I don’t want another Joy.” I made it all up, but fear and sadness that if I failed my friends and those I loved would be hurt, was real, my sanity was deteriorating, I can’t lose anyone anymore. Another loss, I couldn’t have that, I wouldn’t be able to handle it..

”[Name], I promise you that me and Jeongguk will always be there for you, if it makes you feel better I have some friends you could meet, they’re all rather athletic and are really nice, we aren’t the police persee but maybe we can help you feel safe. Maybe I could present you all at lunch today?”

”Ah, yes please, if it’s not too much!” I ask, was he going to let me meet...

“They’re Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin, Jeongguk will be joining us but you already know him very well, don’t you?”

”Yes! We are really close, is it that obvious?” I lied through my teeth, my heartbeat was off the charts as my hands grew sweaty.

”Haha, kind off,” he chuckled, “he never shut ups about you.”

“Really?” I turn red a bit, that jerk, he probably told them all my personal info, god that little son of bitch!

“I look forward to lunch with you, I hope we can become close friends.” He smiles at me as I walk out of the door. Wendy is there waiting for me, we both wave goodbye and leave hurriedly as I begin to tell her about it all.

“Wendy, I think he knows something, he wants me to go eat with the other six.”

“Are you sure about that?” Wendy asked, “They won’t hurt you will they?”

“I don’t know. Have you heard about Irene?” I ask her, we both knew that we didn’t have the answer to her question but maybe Irene did.

“She’s with Park Ji-” My eyes widen, nervously I look at Wendy, she understood.

Her phone rang with a text she looked worried as she stared down at it, I bit my lip.

“I gotta go, go hide in a bathroom so the teachers don’t see you.”

——☽

”Guys we have a special lunch today...”

——☽

“[Name]?”

”Yeah, I got her to come have lunch with us and to speak about a memorial for Sooyeong, but that’s more on me”, Namjoon sighed, “She thinks we’re out to get her, what do we do?”

”Out to get her?”, Seokjin asked eyes bulging, how could she ever think that? Where they too obvious? Had they gone too far?

“Is it because of Sooyeong and ya know?”, Yoongi asked, “I told you, don’t kill unless they impose a threat, what type of threat was her family and her? Wearing the wrong colored shoes?”

“Jimin and Tae said she had caught them before that and that she was already on to something...” Jeongguk trailed off, it wasn’t the first Sooyeong had caught the duo spying on [Name], and it wasn’t the first time she caught any of the seven.

“They had reasons, okay?” Namjoon sighed irritated, what do they win now arguing, it already happened.

”Of course you’d say so, you helped them too!” Hoseok snarled at Namjoon, how could Namjoon be so fucking dumb.

”Well, who was clumsy enough to get her to remember Mark Lee, huh? Didn’t you say you were going to make her forget Mark was even a name yet you couldn’t even talk to her!” Namjoon harshly whispered to the boy next to him, Hoseok’s eyes widen as he looks around the empty classroom in embarrassment.

”She-she what?”, Jeongguk asked, “She remembers Mark?”

”Yeah, she even talked about him to me you fucking idiots, by the way she spoke she seems to remember every single one, even after she left”, Namjoon sighed, “We can’t do much now, or act by the plan, we-we gotta wait longer and not act-“

”Wait longer?”, Yoongi laughed incredulously, “I waited for years, years, Kim, she fucking left and I had to wait longer and now you come up with this bullshit? What about all that, we gotta go fast before she’s tainted and all that bullshit Tae and you blaber on about?”

”If [Name] was able to catch onto something than most possibly the police too, Min, Officer Kang already did for the fucking record, meaning that if the only person alive were to suddenly disappear she would become the prime suspect, and even if they end up cleaning her name, her life would be ruined because that’d mean they’d need to find us and a) she’d be unprotected, b) or they’ll see her like an accomplice, she’d go to jail because of some shit she didn’t do. That’d be fucking it, it’s better to get close to her and wait for a while or convince her to come with us willingly.”

Yoongi stayed silent as thoughts raced around his head. Who did they think they were to tell him what to do?

“Namjoon’s right...”, Jimin sighed, everyone sighed, “It hurts, but we can wait, right? It’ll be nicer to have her now, but don’t you think it’s better to be cautious?”

”Jimin is right, let’s-let’s leave this for later guys”, Taehyung suggested, “[Name] will be having lunch with us won’t she? So, let’s get ready for now, ok?”

He only received a crowd of unmotivated grunts, as they stood up and made their way out of the classroom.

——☽

”Taehyung, do you think she really remembers Mark?” Jeongguk asked his older friend as they made their way towards their lesson.

”Probably, she cared about him a lot, she almost stopped hanging out with you ‘cause of him, remember?” He answered nonchalantly, he knew that was a sensitive spot for Jeongguk.

“Mark Lee”, Jeongguk test out his name, “Mark fucking Lee, I hope you’re burning in hell.”

”I-I can’t believe it, even after everything we did, she still remembers him? Yet she wouldn’t talk to me? If I could, I would bring him back to life over and over again, and kill him every fucking time. I’d make sure to make him suffer, to let him know that he isn’t worthy of thinking of [Name], that I won her heart the minute she won mine, that she’s mine. Mine! Not his, mine! He probably threatened her to go out with her; asshole. Fucking asshole! It’s his fault! I’m meant to win, not him! Haha, I’m happy we got rid of Mark Lee that summer.”

The oldest of the two seemed unfazed at the youngest fit, rather opting to continue walking in silence. He had to agree, though, he also was happy they got rid of Mark Lee and he would do it again if it meant being with [Name].  

Suddenly, a pair of footsteps made themselves clearer behind them. Stopping half way both males stiffened as a voice made itself heard through the empty hallway.

“Y-You killed Mark?”

ღ__________________ღ

“I did it.”

Irene watched in shock as the younger boy confessed to the death of her younger friend.

“But J-“ The oldest began, but was soon cut off as the male before her began speaking.

”Don’t, I don’t know why I’m telling you of all people, after school I-“

”No, J- I’m... we’re talking here now, you killed someone! And n-now you’re after [Name]?” She shouted as anger began numbing her rationality, she knew what was happening, she had told her and now he came here lying to her?!

”[Name]? I could never! I swear, I-It was only Mark I was after!”

”Only Mark? Only Mark?”, the brunette raised her voice, “What about Sooyeong? Or Nayeon? Or maybe even Jae? Or Yugyeom? Or-“

”Or who? I didn’t kill them!” He shouted, he was getting angrier by the minute, mimicking the eldest girl.

”But you killed Mark, huh?”

”Y-yes.” He answered back, but they both knew that the uncertainty in his voice was clear.

“You didn’t, both you and I know-”

”Stop acting like you know what you’re talking about, Joohyun- !”

”Stop lying! You’re too young, Ji-“

”I’m too young? You’re talking as if I didn’t kill Mar-“

”I know he threatened you, Ji-“

”He who?”

”Namjoon!”

”N-Namjoon had nothing to do with tha-“

”I know you didn’t kill him, Jisung, it was Hoseok wasn’t it?”

———☽

The younger boy looked in horror at the older girl.

”N-no, I s-swear it was m-me!” Jisung stuttered.

”No, I know it wasn’t you. Seulgi’s dad, he told me about how the prime suspect for the Mark Lee case suspect were Jung Hoseok and a man named Son Saeyoung; they closed the case with it being Saeyoung fault, both the murder and death, but it wasn’t like that, right? Hoseok murdered Mark and then someone sold the body parts to Saeyoung, incriminating him. They paid you to tell me this right?”

Silence, only a confirmation to Joohyun. Poor Jisung, he probably only found out by accident and now he was probably going to jail for something he didn’t do.

”It’s okay, tell them I believed you; that I’ll tell Seulgi’s dad, ‘kay? Don’t go to the police just yet though,” Irene stayed silent for a while, “would you follow me? It’s something I need you to do before you go.”

Only nodding in agreement the younger boy walked behind his friend, thankful for her brain, thankful of her for being able to pick up what was wrong.

”Thank you, Joohyun”

”No problem, if we die we die together, ‘kay?”

———☽

Biting her nails anxiously was a wrecked Wendy, she needed to call [Name], fast.

”F-fuck, Joohyun, why did you do this....”

The older girl just cracked a broken smile, her cheek cracked awkwardly as more blood came out from the cut that was plastered on it.

”Ji-Jisung, I-I couldn’t blame him, Mark-k wouldn’t have wanted that...”

She was greeted with silence from her younger friend as she tried calling [Name], again.

”Gosh, [Na-! God, finally! [Name], call Seulgi and her dad, now! Irene is hurt, I need you to come to the rooftop as fast as possible! W-what? What do you mean you’re actually going to have lunch with them? Leave the fucking plan!”, she screamed angrily at the phone, “Irene is dying, and you’re worried about that?”, silence, “You’re gonna call Seulgi, now.”

Wendy cut the phone call before [Name] could protest further, she didn’t want to hear her.

”She’ll call the ambulance and Seulgi’s dad, don’t worry too much, you’ll be fine.”

”G-good, I need to te-tell [Name] something.” Irene muttered.

“I-I just can’t believe Jisung did that, he could’ve killed you...”, Wendy felt tears form at the corner of her eyes, “Joohyun, you could’ve died, we really don’t know what we got ourselves into....”

The older girl pushed herself from the floor, immediately worrying her friend but she was quick to brush her off.

”T-the thing is, Seungwan, [Name], she won’t make it, no matter how hard we try and shake them off; they’ll always find her somehow....”

———☽

”Seulgi! It’s Joohyun she-she’s gotten beaten up, she’s with Wendy now but please come, with your dad and an ambulances too! God, f-fast! Please! It-It was Jisung, it seems like it, but I-I don’t know, okay? I wasn’t there, I’m sorry, please focus on the task at hand.” And with that the girl hung up the phone and rested her head against the bathroom door.

”I should get going now.” She pushed herself and readied herself for the dreaded lunch.

I don’t want to do this.

She thought to herself bitterly, she sighed and pressed a cold hand to her forehead.

“Have I gotten a fever? My cheeks are red...” She felt her cheeks too. They were blazing. She was worried sick about her friends, what was going on?

Silence. The only sound was that of a girl exiting the bathroom.

She walked through the empty halls, her light footsteps barely echoing through the hallway.

She looked through the window, she saw the younger kids during their PE class, she saw a few girls during their free period walking through the quad.

She suddenly stopped dead in her tracks as she heard the words. She didn’t know what had happened before but she blindly spoke in response.

“Haha, I’m happy we got rid of Mark Lee that summer.”

“Jeongguk? Y-You killed Mark Lee?”

The boy in question and his companion stopped and turned around. Their faces paled, their eyes widened and their mouths turned agape.

”[Name]?”

———☽

“They don’t want to kill her, they want to keep her....”

———☽

“Jeongguk, what do you mean?” I asked as I backed away slightly.

He said nothing, he stared directly at me as his friend looked at me wide eyed.

I couldn’t place my finger on how, but I felt like I knew the boy beside Jeongguk; the boy who laughed at the mention of Mark’s death.

”Kim Taehyung?” I whisper softly to myself, I ruffled my hair slightly and let my hand fall on chest. No...

”Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jeongguk, you both killed Lee Mark?” I ask, as I looked at them both in the eye.

Mistake number 1.

Taehyung’s eyes widened further, if possible, as he began to shake and fiddled with his finger. His mouth parted open, and even from where I stood I could hear his jagged breathing.

“Y-you know m-my name?” He asked as a bright blush took over his cheeks, “You know my name, haha, you know me!”

He looked over at Jeongguk, giggling as he grabbed the younger boy by his shoulders,

“She knows me! M-my baby knows me, Jeongguk, oh my-!”

”Taehyung...” Jeongguk grabbed his friend trying to stop him, but he shook him off as he began chanting repeatedly the words “She knows me!”

”Taehyung, she heard us!” Jeongguk whispered harshly, tugging at the oldest sleeve.

”She knows...”

At those words, the blushing male seemed to have been hit with the truth. His smile shut down, and his body took a more menacing, yet lazy, stance.

”My baby knows me, she know us and what we do, because she isn’t stupid, right baby?” He asked me as he began walking towards me, slow steps echoing through the hallways.

”What?” I ask him as I began walking back with every step he took at my direction.

”Taehyung, could that be why she agreed to eat lunch with us?” Jeongguk asked as a dull look came over his eyes, his posture mimicked Tae’s.

”Probably, but don’t worry Kookie! She will spend the rest of the week eating lunch with us, won’t she?” He asked as he backed me against a door.

When did he arrive here?

“N-no! Stop, I’ll tell the police!” I tried pushing him off, but Jeongguk came and took one side of me as Taehyung took the other. I was trapped.

Mistake number 2.

”But, Darling, you wouldn’t want Taehyungie to tell Namjoon would you? That you were toying with us?”

”Are we toys to you?”, Taehyung asked against the crook of my neck, “Do you want to use us? Are we nothing more?”

Excitement took over his voice as he spoke, he began kissing my neck.

”Stop it now! Seulgi’s dad is coming over any second now!”

”Are we toys to you? I don’t mind being your toy, do you Jeonggukie?” Taehyung repeated and asked Jeongguk, ignoring my previous threat.

”No, if it means she’ll only pay attention to me!” He giggled and kissed my cheek.

”Me neither, but just for today; I want to play with her instead, so let’s go!”

He gave me one last kiss, and looked me in the eye, a look that made me shiver; suddenly running away wasn’t an option that didn’t include anyone not getting hurt. I didn’t know what to do, they just confessed to murder damn it! Why can’t I be smarter like Yeri, or athletic like Lisa or cunning like Irene? Why did I have to be me?

”But first, we gotta establish some rules!”, Taehyung continued after he took my bag from my shoulder rather harshly, I grunted in pain as the material brushed aggressively against my neck.

”Number one, you tell no one about what you just heard! That means no Irene, no Seulgi or her dad, no Wendy, or Lisa, or Jennie; we don’t want another Joy, do we?

Second, you’ll only look at us and talk to us, your family’s okay, but only direct family; boys and girls alike will be taken care of accordingly.

Third, you’re doing this out of your free will, if anybody asks; even the other guys!

You have to say yes to us! M’kay? So if I were to ask if you love us you gotta say yes, ha!

Hmm, that’s all I can think about now, we’ll add more as we go, now let’s go skip class! Let’s go to that ice cream place, maybe the others will be there, or maybe just Yoongi!” Taehyung giggled once more and led the way for me and Jeongguk as they both took my hands. We don’t want another Joy? Huh?

I don’t know what’s worse; what they’re doing or that I can’t find the strength to fight.

——☽

By the time we reached the ice cream shop, I had received a text message from Wendy thanking me about calling Seulgi and her dad, she also asked me where I was.

It was the first time I lied to her, it wasn’t a complete lie though, right?

Mistake number 3.

I had to hide to be able to text her as I was being watched at all times by Jeongguk and Taehyung; I felt weak. Why did this happen to me?

”So, [Name]? I went and ordered your favorite ice cream, we also took the liberty to call Yoongi and Jimin so they’re gonna arrive at around 1:40? So while we wait, do you have any questions?” Taehyung asked.

I looked around me, trying to find a possible exit but Jeongguk who sat over at my right, was clutching my hand tightly and Taehyung was blocking the pathway towards the door.

He looked at me curiously, as did Jeongguk, the later being way more quiet but more touchy. He now had a hand on my cheek as he caressed it softly while Taehyung played with my hand.

“Yes, I-I have been receiving letters by a group called Bts; Jin, RM, Hope, Chimmy, V, Suga and Cooky, are they you by any chance?” I did my best to not stutter, to sound confident, to be like Irene.

He stopped playing with my fingers, as he took my hand to his lips and began kissing it.

“My baby is so smart! Yes, I was V while Jeonggukie was Cooky, pretty names right?” He accentuated each word with a kiss.

Suddenly, similar to falling into cold water, I remembered something Lisa told me a few months ago that made me shiver.

“Did any of you ever call a friend of mine?” I asked nervously.

“What? No, why?” Jeongguk asked me, he had stopped playing with my hair, something he did when nervous.

”S-so you don’t know anybody called Seungkwan?”

”Baby?” Taehyung asked growling, he took both of my hands and pressed them against each other and pressed them against his cheeks; pulling me slightly over the table.

“Ah-it’s just a boy that had called a friend of mine as-asking for me, and I thought that maybe that was one of you...” I stuttered, trying to take my hands away.

”That wasn’t us....” Taehyung growled lower, he let go of one hand and continued playing with the other.

“Did he call your friend on her cell phone?” Jeongguk asked as he resumed playing with my hair.

“Yeah... I think she still has the phone on her record....”

”Tell her to give us her phone please, Bunny!” Jeongguk pouted.

“Yeah! But it’s fine though, he won’t bother you, not while we’re with you!” Taehyung smiled at me, but in his eyes I couldn’t ignore the clear look of anger in them.

Just then as Tae finished his threat, the door to the shop opened rather obnoxiously and in came two overly contrasting boys.

Min Yoongi and Park Jimin.

Park Jimin; the schools sweetheart, wearing his ever iconic oversized sweater and charming smile, his school uniform perfectly clean, and stunning hair, which was dyed a pretty dirty blonde, and skin well kept.

Min Yoongi; the schools bad boy, wearing his iconic, and rather cliche, black leather jacket and bored face and look, his uniform messy and dark hair fell over his eyes as he looked around almost as if intimidating everyone who looked his way was his goal.

They seemed to be having a friendly conversation, with Jimin doing most of the talking, when suddenly Yoongi looked over and made eye contact with me, fuck. His eyes widen as he lightly hits Jimin causing the younger boy to look over and a bigger smile to break through.

Just as the two boys made their way over to the table, the waitress came with our orders. Her forearm balancing all of the ice cream’s was suddenly knocked over by Jimin’s overly excited steps and were sent flying onto my school blouse.

Yelping from the coldness seeping into the thin fabric I stand up, harshly setting aside Jeongguk, and try dabbing the icy liquid out of my shirt to no use. I was scared and cold as fuck.

”Oh- [Name]!”, Jimin exclaimed pushing the poor waitress and knocking her over, making her fall to her butt. God no, what is wrong with these people?!

”I-I-“ She tried speaking but was soon cut off by Yoongi.

”What’s your name?” His eyes seemed to widen with anger and his pupils dilated and widened threateningly. He looked like a street cat, I couldn’t help but feel sorry and scared for the young woman.

”Gretel Zacharias...”

Yoongi then looked over at me and my shirt and crouched down next to the woman, whispering something into her ear that caused her to look at him in horror and scramble to her feet quickly and storm off, screaming apologies with tears streaming down her face.

”Sweetheart, please use my sweater!” Jimin began taking off his sweater and handed it to me, blushing furiously. Sweetheart?

He handed me the dark red fabric and smiled sweetly down at me.

Nodding silently, I began to make my way to the bathroom when suddenly Yoongi asked.

”Where are you going, my mus- [Name]?”

Blushing, I boldly walk up to him and tiptoe to the significantly taller male, trying to find the words to make him blush, I’d try a Jennie approach.

”The ice cream got into certain places, it kinda fell into the space between my chest, and I think it’s kinda deep in there too and I don’t want to get a cold...”

Turning away I march into the bathroom stall to take out my shirt and bra. What was I thinking?!

Thank god I hadn’t taken out my other bra from PE the day before...

Why had I done that?

Unfortunately, I didn't think I’d need more shirts and so I had to put on the sweater.

Wetting a bit of paper towel to clean off my chest and hair, and spray some perfume.

“Hopefully Jimin won’t mind the smell...” I snort a bit as I imagine how uncomfortable Jimin would get thanks to my perfume. Hopefully he won’t mind me not using a shirt. Thinking of facing Yoongi again after what I had done made me cringe.

——☽

By the time I got out of the bathroom stall, I got gently grabbed by the arm by Min Yoongi as he gently led me to the table.

”You’re only wearing a bra?” He tried to ask quietly as we sat down.

Blushing at how loudly he said that I look over at him at a loss for words.

”Sweetheart is using my sweater without a shirt?” Jimin squeaked, while Jeongguk muttered  something that sounded like the words; “Lucky bastard”.

”Don’t worry, [Name], no one is allowed to look at you dirtily, only us!” Taehyung giggled as he took my hand and resumed playing with it.

Suddenly Jeongguk grabbed a strand of hair and began braiding it as he had done earlier, when I felt Jimin take my other hand and play with it too; giving it kisses while Yoongi leaned against me and began leaving kisses wherever he could find bare skin.

I couldn’t stop them.

Mistake number 4.

———☽

”Wendy, they want to make her their doll.”

_______________

“I can’t find her!” Seulgi looked over at her dad distraughtly, where was [Name]? She wasn’t in danger, right?

“Bear, are you sure it was her who called you?”

”Yes? I mean, it says on my phone it was her and Irene and Wendy told us about her.... maybe someone kidnapped her!”

”Why would you think someone kiddna-”

”Where’s Irene?” Seulgi looked over at her dad, the poor man didn’t understand his daughters fast words and seemingly nonsensical actions.

“In the ambulance getting treated, she’s fine but will be take-”

He never finished the sentence as his daughter ran out of the room and out into the parking lot screaming for her friends.

Running until her lungs felt like they would collapse Seulgi pushed past the paramedics until she saw her two friends talking in whispers to one another.

”Wendy!” The black haired girl shouted as she made her way to the girl.

”Seulgi! What happe-“

”Do you know with who [Name] was with?” Seulgi said breathless, her heart was beating in her ears, she felt all of her senses alert. Suddenly she was in survival mode.

”The boys, she-“ Wendy tried to explain, but Seulgi’s nervousness began affecting her too.

”No, she wasn’t with them, she wasn’t the bathroom, right Wendy?” Irene cut off the younger girl.

”What- no! She-“

”She wasn’t with them, I saw them whilst Jisung asked me to follow him.”

”Ah, really? But she told me-“ Wendy tried to debate with the eldest but was cut off again as Seulgi began speaking.

”I think- I think we should talk to [Name], or at least me, I’m the one who knows the most and they’d kinda figure out if all of us suddenly-“

”Irene! The doctors couldn’t find any broken bones, just a lot of internal and external bleeding but it has stopped, you were lucky this time as it was quite a superficial case so you’ll be able to go home just fine! I’ll take you-“

The female in question, much to everyone’s amazement, stood up by herself; not resembling the girl who had just been lying there before.

“Go look for her outside, she might be with an angel and ice.” Irene spoke, she didn’t look back as she began running away ignoring the younger girls calls and making her way to the ice cream shop.

Just like they’d planned.

———☽

”Seulgi, I-I think I know where [Name] is but we shouldn’t go there now, let’s send your dad.”

”Why?”

”I think Irene....”

The older girls eyes widen as she stared at her friend.

“N-no.... but that’d mean that Joy-“

”Shh!” She was hushed by her friend.

”We need to tell [Name] and the other girls! I’ll call the others you go tell your dad [Name]’s at ‘Angela’s Cream’! Go with your dad, we’ll meet over at your house!”

”Ok!” Seulgi began running next to Wendy when suddenly they were stopped by the scream of a teacher.

”Oh my god! There’s a dead boy in the basket ball court- it’s Park Jisung!”

They both froze in place, looking each other in the eye; an albeit silent, but mutual agreement of what was happening and what must be done was shared and they both parted ways.

Another life could be taken any minute now, they couldn’t risk it because the next victim could be [Name] or maybe even themselves.

____________ღ

As the four boys talked around me, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of questioning if I had done the right thing. If my assumptions were correct the girls would show up any minute now, or at least Seulgi’s dad.

Please, Wendy, you’re smart!

I prayed silently, looking out the window I noticed how the former quiet road was now taken into blue and red; a police car. I was about to cry out of joy.

The black car pulled over at the street and out came the familiar looking officer; Police Chief Officer Kang. Also known as Seulgi’s dad.

He marched into the ice cream shop until he made eye contact with me. Relaxing my previously tense stance I gently nudge Jeongguk and point over to where Mr Kang was standing as he spoke with the shop owner.

”What...” He whispered shocked as he took my hand forcibly.

”Taehyung, the police...” Jimin trailed off, he began sweating anxiously as the officer made his way towards our seats.

”Hello, are you students from-“

”Yes we are, we are out here with permission sir.” Yoongi cut off rather rudely.

”Well, good for you! Now, I need to know if Miss [Last Name] is he-! There you are, you’re needed in the police station now, please come with me.” He answered back rudely back, he never did enjoy taken bullshit from other people, I felt tears pool in my eyes in relief.

”What- why?” I asked faking shock.

”For the murder of your friend Sooyeong and the recent murder of a boy named Park Jisung”, he answered, “We were told you were close to both of them and you might be the clue to finding the murder of these two.”

”J-Jisung?”

“Yes please, follow me now” He took my hand from Jeongguk and pulled me out of the cage he and Yoongi had made and led me to the exit.

The words of protest were blocked from my ears as they seemed to be filled with blood, the thick liquid blocking all sound except the words forming in my head.

It’s your fault he’s dead.

The words kept repeating themselves as I boarded the car and I sat next to my friend Seulgi.

I stared at her through as tears kept falling and the imaginary blood in my ears kept rushing.

She said nothing as she too cried and held me in her arms tightly. Probably afraid of what was going on.

If only I knew it was because of the sick betrayal of our close friend.

”[Name] , I’ll be taking you to my house, Seulgi told me that the other girls were going to be there by the time we arrive; so please don’t worry...” Officer Kang spoke softly to us as he drove the black police car to his home.

——☽

As we drove through the town, I couldn’t shake the bitter feeling of regret of ever coming back here.

The pretty colors of the sunset that painted the windows and our sling in the car only added to the bitter feeling of helplessness and nostalgia that ate me away.

Seulgi, who was exhausted, had fallen asleep beside me and was now resting herself in my shoulder as I stared out the window.

Watching the commercial buildings turn into the neighborhoods, and the businessmen and women turn into gangs of kids playing games out with their families and pets, I couldn’t stop the hopeless wish that settled in of wanting to stop it all.

As we pulled into the driveway of Seulgi’s family home, I nudged her slightly for her to wake up.

“You need to explain everything, please.”

———☽

The dyed red-head made her way to the ice cream shop, only to find the people she had wished to find gone, sighing she fixed herself through the reflection of herself in the mirror; she didn’t look that bad for what she was about to do and had done.

She didn’t even feel guilty, she tricked her friends and? That didn’t mean she regretted her actions it was her survival over theirs. It was a selfish world they lived in.

”Irene! You’re here?” The red-headed laughed bitterly.

”Please, stop it... I can’t keep it up like this! They’re gonna end up dead!” Irene cried, tears falling.

“Tell me Irene, does it look like I care? I’m dead for all they know, and a dead girl can’t cause chaos.” Sooyoung asked.

”No, Joy, you aren’t dead but I sure wish you were....”

_____________ღ

“What?” Chaeyoung exclaimed, no one was ready for what Wendy and Seulgi had just said.

”Joy is alive?” Jennie asked confused as she leaned against the wall.

“Yeah, she’s probably working with the guys after [Name] too...” Wendy finished, she sighed.

”We should tell Seulgi’s dad...” Chaeyoung suggested, despite her shock she still was more useful than I could ever be.

”Yeah, then that’d rid Sooyeong and Irene, and with our witnesses they’ll at least put Sooyeong in jail” Seulgi agreed, I knew by the way she spoke that the idea pained her, it pained all of us. Irene and Joy, who would have thought?

”But then that leaves the boys....” Lisa brought up a very big point, the main point.

”I’ll deal with them”, I speak up suddenly, “It’s my fault, not yours, I-I know what I have to do just give me some time and things will go back to normal.”

”No”, Jennie sighed, “You won’t, that’s just fucking stu-“

”Let her”, Jisoo spoke up, “She’s- [Name], [Name] are you sure about this?”

Nodding I look at her as determinedly as I could, I could fix this.

“You won’t changer your mind will you?” Yeri laughed bitterly, I wouldn’t betray them.

I nodded again.

”It’s for the best” I said quietly, even if I was unsure I had put people in danger, I have been useless and I have only been an inconvenience, I wanted to do something, I needed to do something.

”But these boys, that we don’t even know, can do anything! What if you end up hurt? The what if’s are endless!” Jennie argued, she was blushing with anger, “We can’t just send you like that?”

“Jennie”, Jisoo hugged her tightly, “It’s our [Name], she won’t go down without a fight. I trust her and should you, all of us.”

”I can’t believe we’re agreeing to this...” Wendy said exasperated, tears bubbling under her eyes, I felt tears bubble in mine too as I looked at my friends.

“What are you going to do?” Yeri asked again, “Maybe we can come up with a middle ground.”

”I’ll give them what they want” I stated without budging.

”What?” Wendy shouted, jumping from the bed and slamming her hands on the bedside table.

”What’s so bad about that?” Chaeyoung asked, suddenly her eyes widened.

”She’s gonna give herself! That’s what she’s gonna give!”, Wendy raised her voice.

”What?” Jisoo exclaimed, eyes widening.

”You can’t do that!” Turning around, Lisa began hyperventilating.

”You-“

The girls began acting up, begging me to change my mind, but I wouldn’t. All of this was happening because of me, and if I could stop it then I fucking would.

”You’re gonna do wha-?”

“You stupid bi- you’re gonna give yourself like that?”

”Gosh, you-you’re really stupid aren’t you? How are you even going to do that?”

“By walking out the door, duh?”

———☽

They locked me in the bathroom.

I was locked in the bathroom, sitting in the bathtub and silently singing nursery rhymes as I waited until they finished telling Mr Kang the truth.

I was indeed very stupid.

Silently running the plan through my head, I lean against my knees and pray that their intentions aren’t bad. That if I do end up going with them that I won’t end up dead in a ditch. But it was indeed better than having my friends dead.

Leaning against the bathtub, I close my eyes and let myself sleep for a while. Numbing myself to the surrounding world. I hadn’t been able to really have a peaceful time since coming back to this damned town.

As I stay there, nightmares and never ending thoughts began plaguing my mind.

What if I jump out of the window, make my way to Kook’s house and let him kidnap me. No one will miss me anyway, plus I’m the reason why all of this is happening. The reason Sooyeong faked her death, killed her sister and mother and betrayed us. I’m the reason Mark’s dead, Nayeon, the rest. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve to be alive now.

Tears began slipping out of my eyes, as the thoughts began multiplying and breathing became hard. Shaking harshly from the mere memory of the news articles declaring my friends deaths; knowing that somehow I had caused them.

I lost track of time. I couldn’t stop shaking and crying as blame and guilt began consuming me.

All my senses began failing me.

I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t touch and I couldn’t speak.

A feeling of numbness began biting at my ribs, leaving trails of pain as it made its way up my head until I was left with a pounding headache. My cheeks felt cold as the tears ran across them, broken sobs that overtook the sound of footsteps and bodies falling.

I couldn’t think, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t understand and I couldn’t feel.

”Please, anyone, save me”

The door burst open, and I let out a scream.

———☽

[3rd Point of View]

The blood from the bunch of young women laid over the house as Sooyeong stood panting.

“I-I did it....” She whispered softly.

Laying down, she waited for her captors to come over and finish the job. Laughing lightly she looked over to her presumably dead, older friend, Irene.

”Onnie, we’ll meet in hell, haha, just like Jennie said!” She laughed full of delusions.

As she rested on her back, she tilted her head to see all her friends, gone.

“If only...”, she whispered, “If only I was allowed to kill her too, then we’d be together forever...”

Smiling, she let bitter tears run down her cheek.

“I can’t believe I’m fucking dying full of regrets, haha, fantastic!” She turned around in the bloodied floor, she noticed her sides were all red and sticky.

”Ugh, didn’t Officer Kang keep cigars?” She muttered, as she pulled herself upwards.

Stumbling into her dead friend’s father office, she made her way to the ‘empty’ liquor cabinet, the one Seulgi so many times defended and said was filled with juice and snacks. There sat stacks of Marlboro and heavy liquor. Opening a random packet she took a cigarette and slowly lit it, placing it between her lips. Taking a heavy breath she let out a dull huff.

Laying against the table, she counted the minutes until her death.

Still with her cigarette, she made her way to the bathroom, sitting against the door she knocked softly.

”Guys?”, she heard her friends voice, ex-friend, she reminded herself bitterly, I sold them away.

With a clear idea of who was in the bathroom, Joy began to speak.

”You know, I always told myself that if any of my family members or friends were to get in a life or death I would put myself after them and take the bullet. But, ha, now that it really happened, I killed my fucking parents and sister, sold you lot to them and signed my own fucking death note and now, they’re gonna take you away! Priceless!”, she laughed, “Fucking priceless, I promised myself that I wouldn’t die full of sin or regret but look at me now, keeping you busy while they kill your family! They’ll come by any minute and kill me, bet you they’ll do it quick. That way they’ll take you away faster, you’ll live like a princess [Name], ahhh, how much I wished I was you right now. Seven hot dudes killing for me, I’d die for that...”

A muffled voice could be heard, and loud banging against the door.

“Joy?”

She ignored her.

“Tell me, [Name], should I let myself be killed or should I kill myself?”

”Where are the others? Joy!”

”Oh, the girls?”, Sooyeong asked as she took another swing, “They’re dead. I killed them, anyway, what should I do?”

The girl inside the bathroom finally was able to hear it all, all at once it hit her, her senses overwhelmed her, and so she cried, punched and kicked, she let the inner turmoil inside of her manifest itself into the surface.

”Let me out you psycho!” Never once did [name] question if that was Joy.

”Sweetie”, Joy laughed, “I’m not half as bad as them!”

”Who? Who dammit?” The younger girl cried in frustration.

”BTS”, Sooyeong accentuated every letter, “Your secret lovers!”

”Wha-“

A loud bang into the door and several footsteps were heard from the floor below the two females.

“They’re here, fuck them, I’ll do it myself” Sooyeong muttered to herself.

Standing up, she opened the lock to the bathroom door, however she didn’t open the door; yet.

Heart racing, she took the gun that was situated next to Jennie’s body, they were getting close. She could tell due to the increasing volume of the chatter, the sound of footsteps and the smell of rotten seven little pigs who will all burn in hell.

Hastily she made her way to the bathroom and opened the door to revel a petrified [Name], tears streaming down her face as she looked at her demented friend.

They were now outside the door.

“Bye bye, bitch. Remember that I love you and I will save you”

Joy leaned the gun against her chest and shot her herself.

Blood spilled everywhere as her falling body made way to the most agonizing and traumatic sight.

Seulgi’s room was littered with her friends dead bodies, including Seulgi’s parents. The walls showed claw marks, blood splattered against the walls and organs spilled on the floor.

Gagging, [Name] cried louder than before, sobs echoing on the almost empty house.

A rush of footsteps and angry mutters made their way outside the bathroom door before five male figures appeared on the doorway.

“[Name]!”

____________ღ

With wide eyes I look up and find Jeongguk and his ‘gang’, people I know now to refer to as Bts.

After hearing what Joy had said before shooting herself, I couldn’t help the fear that ran through my veins as I saw five of the seven males, where were the other two? What had happened?

”Get away from me!” I shouted at them and pressed myself into the wall, Jimins’ sweater and my skirt were now soaking wet from the leftover water, my socks were drenched, but I didn’t care, I needed distance right now.

“What?” Jeongguk asked flabbergasted, he stepped forward but I let out a scream to show I was not having it.

”I said what I said! Get away from me, you freaks!” I screamed, now with anger replacing the fear. These men ruined my life in just a few days, in just a few hours they took almost everything I had away from me, I only had my family left now and even then I wasn’t sure about that.

”I- we’re here to rescue you!”, Taehyung said as he approached me slowly, he pushed Jeongguk slightly to the side as he opened his arms.

”No! Joy told me everything, she said that you made her kill the girls and that this bullshit, yeah this fucking bullshit, that it’s all your fault!” I screamed at them, I motioned to the room as tears hot ran down my face.

”She did what?” Namjoon asked as he pushed Taehyung and Jeongguk away and walked over to me.

Peering over the bathtub, he gently took my hand.

”Baby, how do you know she wasn’t lying? Huh, she faked her death, killed her friends and family, how do you know she wasn’t lying to you again?” He whispered softly, he took my hand and rubbed circles against my palm.

”Because I know her-” I tried arguing with him but my mind was shutting itself off.

”Mhm?” He asked softly as he helped me stand up and exit the tub, I began shivering as I looked over to see the body of my friends, the people who had only tried to help me, looking so damn dead.

”She said you killed my family and that you were going to come over and take me away, I trust her more than I’d ever trust you.” I trailed off, my feet wobbled as my legs gave out due to the sight in front of me, I was about to puke.

”Really now?” He questioned as he took my legs and carried me bridal style, he took me and the four other boys away from the bathroom, he looked down at said girls body and silently motioned Yoongi, “Do you think we killed your family? That Kookie did?”

At the mention of his name, Jeongguk came over and kissed my cheek as Namjoon held onto my now shaking body.

“No, Kookie wouldn’t... right?” I questioned myself softly as I began questioning myself.

”No, bunny!” He lied, he was lying! Joy would never lie.

”See?”, Namjoon asked, “he wouldn’t lie to you, we wouldn’t lie to you, on the other hand your friends over there did. Irene knew about Joy, she even helped her. So how do you know the others weren’t in on it?”

”How do you kn-“

”Irene came to me about it, after she got injured, she told me she knew all about Joy and her plan, that’s why we went over to your house to be sure you were okay, thank god you weren’t there because a fire started all over the neighborhood, seven or so houses caught on fire,” Namjoon continued on speaking.

”Sweetheart, I’m sorry but we weren’t able to get your family out on time at all.” Jimin added on as he opened the front door.

”What-?” My family… was gone?

Why did it make sense?

”Mhm, we think it was Joy who did it too, I mean she already killed at least twelve people, what are three more?” Namjoon continued on talking, I shook at what he said.

“Hey, Namjoon help me ove-“ I heard a voice speak, but I couldn’t pinpoint whose voice it was, being too concerned about what Namjoon was talking about, he did sound familiar though.

“Jin, say hi to [Name] over here, she’s currently very scared,  but we’ll fix that, won’t we?” Jimin told the owner of the unknown voice, he sounded happy.

“Aww, is she? Are you sad? Don’t worry, we’ll be taking you to a beautiful vacation in a few hours so don’t worry, you’ll be safe soon.” Jin awed, he pinched my cheek it hurt but I couldn’t bring myself to show any sort of reaction .

Too tired to question what was really happening, I let them take me to the black van parked outside of Seulgi’s family home. I didn’t have it in me to fight, I wasn’t like my friends; I was alive and they were dead now, there was no use comparing us. As we walked, I couldn’t help but notice the strong smell that began floating in the air, were they pouring gas all over the house?

Why wasn’t I fighting? Was I that weak?

As Jeongguk opened the door to the van, I couldn’t help but notice how a few of my bags from back home littered the van.

”Why do you have my bags?” I asked with a monotone, soft voice I could barely talk.

”Ah, that was me, your parents had been noticing how you had been feeling off, so I had taken out your bags to go over to my house earlier that day,” Jeongguk explained, he talked too fast though, maybe he was lying but I couldn’t find it in me to care..

“Ah, okay.” I truly didn’t understand the logic behind that explanation but I was too tired to try to question them further, I was too numb.

Letting them pile inside the car, I lean against Jeongguk and slowly let myself succumb to sleep.

“Ah, Jin we didn’t need ropes or drug, I told you so.” Namjoon whispered.

”Hey, Namjoon, where are we going at the end?” Taehyung asked as he caressed my face.

”Far away, Tae, really far away”, Namjoon responded mindlessly, “So far away that people will forget we even existed here...”

————☽

Waking up by suddenly being picked up by someone, I peel my eyes open.

“What the-” I was about to complain when I began panicking.

”Oh! You’re awake?” I heard a voice I didn’t recognize ask, who was he?!

Looking up, I see a rather attractive male with noticeable folded ears smile down at me.

“Who are you?”, I whisper-shout at the unknown male, “And where the- where are you taking me! Put me down, sir! This is borderline kidnapping, that’s what this is! Let me down or I am calling the police, I am going to shout, I swear it! My best friend’s father is a police officer damn you!”

All the unknown boy do was smile down at me and hugged me tighter to his chest.

“Stop it this instant! Do not cuddle me! Who do you think you are?” I continue to toss and shriek.

“Haha, cute.” Was his only answer, this fucking bastard!

“I am not cute-“ Stopping suddenly as I feel the man going up stairs, I panic, “Where are we going?”, I ask less loudly, I then realized I had let the boy take me to who knows where, “You haven’t answered me yet.”

”Oh, we’re boarding a plane.” He smiled and continued walking forward.

”What the- No we are not! You are boarding a plane, and you are forcing me to board it with you! Who- I am so telling on you to the police!” I shout at him.

Suddenly arriving at the top of the airplane stairs, the man carrying me puts me down and opened the entrance to the plane.

Pushing me slightly inside, I meet with the gaze with five familiar males. Memories of earlier this day rushed into my brain.

“Y-you!”, I look at Namjoon, “You sweet talking mother fucker! Let me go, now!”

As if he’d gotten hit, he flinched and looked at me hurt.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do any-“

”My ass! Go suck my spiritual dick you little fucker! You fucking drove Sooyeong insane, you killed my family with a fucking house fire you little dick!“

”We did not kill your family it was a house fire-“ Namjoon tried to explain to me as he stood up.

”God you must really like my ass, it’s impossible! We had the wires in the whole mother fucking neighborhood checked less than two weeks ago, so unless someone like you fucking tampered with the wire there is no reason for that fire! Do you really think I wouldn’t know my best friend? Sooyeong couldn’t even get the goddamn wifi working without five fucking youtube videos and her dad!”

”You do have a good ass.” I heard Yoongi remark, I flipped him off as I continue screaming at Namjoon.

“And we didn’t do it why would you think-“

”Because everytime you kill you make a fire to burn all the evidence, you dumbass! At least get creative and do something new! Don’t serial killers enjoy being different and unique and quirky or some shit?”

”How do you know?” Jimin asked slightly alarmed, the tension went from me being a little bitch to them all being in high alert.

“Do you think I’m that dumb to not notice how every boy and girl I’ve ever gotten close with dies? Look, I didn’t go around announcing it like-like it was something I was proud of it, but does that mean I wasn’t slightly suspicious? Like, dude, any boy I went three meters next to dropped dead, man. Like, that shit ain’t normal.” I asked dumbfounded, sure I wasn’t smart like Yeri or Seulgi but I wasn’t dumb either.

”Shit, if you realized than-“

”Ha, but don’t worry because you murdered the head officer in your case! He was going to announce it in a meeting in a few days or whatever but oh so lucky you! He’s fucking dead and in ashes because you idiots couldn’t think of anything better!” Maybe I’m being unreasonable, I’m fucking fighting with the murderers of my friends and family but I’m not afraid not anymore at least.

”You don’t understand! We did because-“ Jimin began trying to explain.

”We love you!”, Taehyung finished, “We love you so much-“

”Well, I hate you!”, I shouted at him, “You lot ruined so many lives, including mine! How the bloody hell am I meant to return feelings for su-“

”Wowowow, sweetie hate is a strong word, maybe you could say slightly displeased.” Namjoon remarked calmly as he walked over to Jeongguk and Jimin who were now in border line tears.

“Well, I have a strong hatred towards you!”

”Hmm? What’s with all the noise-! Hey, princess, you’re awake! Good, come on, sit over here.” A handsome male came over to me, taking my hand and leading me to a plush chair.

”Awww, you’re crying? Come here”, he took my head into his chest, “Don’t worry, I’m here, shhh, what did these awful, dirty, stupid, morons do? Come on tell Jinnie.”

I hadn’t realized I had been crying until he had remarked it, man, I really did cry a lot.

”T-they hurt me and my-“, I choked out.

”They what?” He spat as he slowly and gently sat me in his lap, re-taking my head into his chest not allowing me to look.

”N-no, they- they, I’m scared,” I cried into his shirt, “Please help, Jinnie”

I had no idea what his name was, was this that Jin dude, I could only blindly guide myself from what he had called himself.

”Y-you’re scared of what?” I heard him ask flustered, flustered by what? I had no idea who this man was or his name and he really isn’t leaving me with the best impression.

Pushing my head off his shirt I met his familiar looking eyes.

“T-them....”

”Awww, princess, don’t worry! They won’t hurt you, they’re with me. We’re trying to protect you, baby.” He smiled.

“F-from what? You’re the ones hurting people. I asked, all the changes in my mood began making me tired. I couldn’t think properly anymore.

”Shhh, babe, have we hurt you?”

”N-no?”

”Then, are we really the bad people?”

”I-I don’t know? Yes?” I answered as my voice broke in confusion, they were bad people. Why couldn’t I say so? Why were they so kind? Weren’t they the ones that were trying to hurt me? They killed everyone, right? But then, they seem kind so how would they do it? Maybe, it wasn’t them?

”Namjoonie, come here, tell our princess here that we aren’t trying to hurt her.” Jinnie motioned Namjoonie to come. No, Namjoon, he doesn’t deserve an affectionate nickname.

”Hey, babe, look up at me. We won’t hurt you, we’re saving you from the bad people like Sooyeong. You know, the girl who killed your friends and her family?” Namjoonie said.

No he isn’t Namjoonie.

”Why would I lie to you, hmm? Jinnie, Kookie, Jiminie, Yoongs, Taehyungie, Hoseokie and me wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Y-you wouldn’t?” I asked, suddenly everything was getting number and number.

The air smelled sweeter, my vision was hazy, I couldn’t think properly. I felt giggly. Suddenly, Jinnie seemed like the comfiest surface in the world so I threw myself into his chest, giggling.

”Ahh, p-princess, you’re making me blush!”, Jinnie laughed.

“I’ll tell the pilots to start since someone is too busy.” I heard Kookie say.

Hearing him stand up and leave the room, I lean against Jinnie further.

————☽

By the time I as suddenly woken up, I still felt slightly giggly from whatever had happened earlier. A sudden weight had been added into my chest and stomach making me open my eyes and look down at the male on top of me.

”Hi, umm, who are you?” I asked him.

“Your Jinnie,”

“No, I mean who are you?”

”Hey, babe. I- do you really not remember me?”, ‘Jinnie’ asked suddenly.

Looking down at him in sudden confusion I shake my head no.

”Ahh, such a pity.... I do, you know, remember you.” He said as he leaned further against my chest, “I remember meeting you the first time like it was yesterday, it’s engraved into my mind. Sometimes, I have dreams about the day I met you, about how I could have acted to make you mine. Yet I didn’t do that. Those dreams made me act like this, those dreams helped make my mind clear; that I needed to protect you from the bad people. Not like I don’t always dream of you. Every dream I’ve had since I met you is about you. Innocent and not. Dreams about what I could do to you, how I could claim you as mine and lock you up in a castle and protect you from there. God, the thought that you don’t remember me makes me so fucking sad you have no idea yet knowing that I can restart with you is almost like a blessing.”

He looked out the window as did I. As I looked out I noticed how dark it was, and how the stars seemed to make the sea shine brighter.

“I’m- I’m Kim Seokjin, I’m currently twenty-two and I’m taking you, [Last Name] [Full Name] being now seventeen years of age, to the farthest place I can find. It’s a pretty island that I bought a few years ago, in that little big island I made a whole village for you and the rest of the guys. There we’ll have everything, and when we run out; I can always buy more. I can run my business from there, that way we won’t ever run out of money and if you ever want to leave I’ll be able to take you away to anywhere...” He introduced himself smiling softly.

”Seokjin... like the Kim Seokjin from camp?” I asked suddenly.

”Wait you remembered?” He asked in shock, his eyes sparkled with hope.

”W-well not one hundred percent but I think I do?”, I answer in quite a bit of a shock myself, “You bought an island and built a village for me? You have to be kidding, there is no way you-“

”Well, my family owned it anyway but I bought it from my parents; it was practically a gift from them.” He answered.

”But still! You’re insane, who the hell spends that much money on a crush?”

”You are not a crush, [Name].” He laughed, “I love you! For god’s sake I made a whole little village for you!”

”G-god, you’re insane!” I freaked out, the effects of earlier gone.

A dulling look came over his eyes suddenly when I spoke those words.

”Princess, look, I have done way worse shit than buying and building a goddamn village for you. If you needed I’d start a war for you. So do what you do best, and be a good girl for Jinnie, okay? No cussing, no acting out of line, drinking all of the juice and no calling me a freak.” He whispered against my ear.

”What’s wrong with you!” I shouted at him.

Suddenly I heard shuffling from the seat behind me, and the boy that had carried me earlier popped up.

“Good night, what happened darling? Did the serum ware off?” He asked, he seemed tired yet he still smiled, he was wearing a beanie that made his ears pop out even more.

”Yes, it did, Hoseok could you please bring in some more.” Jin asked Hoseok.

“Jung Hoseok? Like star dancer Jung Hoseok?”

He didn’t respond as he fiddled with a bottle until he sat down at the seat next to mine with a little silk piece.

“The one and only, pumpkin, now close your eyes and you’ll feel happy again! You want that right? When you start behaving nicely as you do with this we’ll stop dozing you! Okay? So be good for me, please?”

He gently brought the silk next to my nose and I felt myself go into complete darkness, the same sweet air in my lungs again without me wanting it to.

____________ღ

A string of light coming from the barley opened curtains, followed by the sound of waves crashing against the sand happened to be the reason I woke up today.

Opening my eyes slightly thinking, hoping, that I’d wake up to find myself in my room. But I wasn’t. This wasn’t my room and most definitely not my house.

With fully open eyes, sit up in the comfy bed I happened to be laying in. White, silky sheets with beautiful lace designs, and pillows that smelled wonderful. The bed wasn’t the only dead giveaway that I wasn’t home, other than the rather obnoxious sound of tropical birds and the sea, the room was too.

The spacious room was adorned with clean, grey, stone walls. Walls that were gracefully decorated with minimalist paintings and photos of me and seven men I didn’t know, upon further inspection I saw a picture of what’s supposed to be the night sky the day I was born. A white desk sat in the corner of the wall in front of me, a desk filled with gifts.

At both sides of the bed, there were bedside tables made of glass and black wood. On top of them, each had a lamp and a picture frame of what appeared to be the sea, in one sat a remote control, a small white box and a ring box. In the other, sat a bunch of my trinkets from back home.

The room had a black, clean and shining marble floor, and in some areas had fluffy rugs like beneath the desk and a round glass table, with a rather beautiful flower arrangement, that was placed in the corner, next to the window, it seemed to take a good fourth of the wall.

Looking around once more I saw what I assumed was a closet and bathroom. Both of which, by the looks of it, seemed to be overly spacious.

Standing up from the bed, I looked down to find myself in a white, silk nightgown, quite similar to the fabric of the sheets.

Expecting cold from the marble floor, I was astonished to find that the floor was actually rather warm.

Now as I stood in the middle of the room, I realized how big it really was.

“God, it’s like, three times my old bedroom...” I trailed off.

Remembering the box that lies next to my bed, I rushed over to the bedside and rushed to open the package. Inside was a brand new phone, black and cold to the touch.

”What the-“ Turning around I run to the desk only to find it full of designer branded bags and boxes.

From Gucci to Louis Vuitton, my mouth fell agape at how much all of this must’ve cost. Not only the gifts, but the television, phone, computer and this very same room must have cost a fortune.

“Who the heck has that much money?” I ask myself quietly as I sit down on the desk chair.

A sudden curiosity came over me as I stood up and made my way to what I assumed must have been the closet. Pushing the black door I’m met with a closet as big as my room back home, filled with expensive looking clothes and shoes. Jewelry was stored in glass cases, the light casted a glittering shine to the diamonds and pearls, and a vanity sat in the far back, also filled with makeup. The walls were of black marble, they seemed to hold a certain shine to them that was only noticeable thanks to the beautiful and large glass chandelier that laid on top of the jewelry case.

As I walk inside what’s basically Narnia, I hear the door to the room open as a pretty looking girl looks at me and squeaks.

”Oh! Miss Kim, I thought you wouldn’t wake up ‘till later! Well then, I guess I’ll help you earlier than I thought!” She exclaimed happily, her smile was wide as she spoke.

“Miss Kim?” I asked her as she gently pushed me inside and sat me down in the black velvet chair.

”Yes! I’m one of the maids that are meant to help you when you’re with Mr Kim, other times I guess you’ll get called depending on which Mr your with! Honestly, I think you look cuter with Mr Seokjin!” She giggled as she began combing my hair, she was soft and careful as she brushed my hair

”Hmm, ah! I know, how about a dress? Yes! They said that they would appreciate if you could wear a dress today! It’s hot, so how about a sundress? A strapless one could do, you do have a pretty skin color so I guess a black one could work!” She chanted to herself.

”Okay, go take a long, nice shower and I’ll help you once you get out. Now go, go, trust good ol’ Chuu!” She laughed.

Standing up, she led me to the bathroom and directed me where everything was. She then left me do wash myself.

“Love, take as long as you want but do keep in mind Misters have been waiting for you since you’ve arrived!”

And so I washed myself. I tried to use the best smelling soap and shampoo I could find, to then using the best smelling perfume once I was done. Sighing at how good it felt to be clean, especially after all the mess from earlier, I take a look at the redness of my eyes and puffiness of my cheeks.

I hadn’t realized how long I had taken, but it seems that long enough for Chuu, or Jiwoo as she had also introduced herself as, to pick a black summer dress, shoes and beautiful makeup.

Giving me the dress, I change as fast as I could to let Jiwoo do her magic, maybe she’d take long enough to take my mind off things.

By the time I was ready, I still remembered all that had happened and Jiwoo had left me in the room, telling me another girl would come and pick me up to take me to eat.

So now, I was sitting in this foreign room waiting for god knows what.

———☽

”Hey, [Name]?” I heard Taehyung ask me as he gently nudged me.

”N-no...” I groaned as I covered my face with the silk.

“Yes, princess, c’mon, if you don’t want to walk I’ll take you by force!” He laughs as he lifts me up.

”No.” I groan as I turn around, causing him to almost drop me.

”Shit! [Name], we’re leaving to eat, now.” He scolds as he looks at his watch, he then takes my hand and exits the room.

I get dragged in silence through the modern and yet old looking house until we exit the building and enter the garden.

“Do you like it?” Taehyung asked suddenly.

”Like what?”

”The island?”

”I haven’t seen it much, but it doesn’t seem bad. But I’d rather be home with my family, not, you know, being kidnapped and living with a bunch of stalkers, it’d also be nice to you know, know whats happening? And like, be home and safe?“

”We aren’t stalkers, [Name], we’re just doing something important; taking care of you, plus, your family is dead.”

Staying in silence, I keep trying to ignore the fact my family was fucking dead and that maybe two of my friends turned out to be murderers.

Was Jiwoo into this too? She seemed to be so kind but then again, Joy did too...

Suddenly being pulled down, Taehyung took my hand and led me into a fancy looking greenhouse in the middle of the garden.

“Why are we here?” I asked him as he hummed a melody as we walked through arrangements of different flowers and exotic looking plants.

”To eat, silly!” He laughed, he squeezed my hand as he led me faster.

Once we reached the section filled with my favorite flowers, I began hearing chatter and the sound of plates being served. The voices grew louder the deeper we walked into the [Favorite Flower] filled space.

“Hey, princess, did Jiwoo give you you’re medicine?” Taehyung asked as we made our way.

“N-no?”

”Ahhh, we’ll need to talk to her then, but don’t worry! I’ll give it to you here!” Taehyung smiles down at me.

Even though there was nothing scary about Taehyung, his way bigger frame than mine and the smile that was etched into his face whenever he saw me definitely began creeping me out enough, as if he being my stalker and killing my family wasn’t enough reasons to be wary of him.

He stopped when we were met with a glass room that was seemingly placed in the middle of the greenhouse, he knocked on the door and let go of my hand, placing me in front of him.

The chatter died down as a maid opened the door and we were revealed six males and a few maids, who were standing to the sides. The men were sitting around an organized and pretty wooden table that was filled with delicious looking foods.

”[Name]!” I heard Jeongguk exclaimed as he stood up and made his way to us.

”God...”, I heard Jimin sigh, “Pretty....”

”Please sit down, over here.” Yoongi motioned to the end seat next to him and Seokjin in the head of the table in their end.

Jeongguk took my hand and led me to the seat as Seokjin took out the chair for me to sit. By the time I was sat down, the majority of the boys had already engaged themselves into conversation leaving me to myself when suddenly Yoongi began talking to me and Seokjin.

”So, kitten, how much do you really know about us?” Yoongi asked me, I suddenly remember his comment about my ass and blush slightly as he smirked.

Blushing even more at the nickname, I look back at him and shrugged slightly.

”Gosh, you’re so cute!” Seokjin gushed as he squished my cheek.

”I-I guess, not much... I mean, what I knew were only theories made by my friends...” I spoke quietly as I swatted Seokjin’s hand.

”And what did they come up with?” Yoongi asked, as he took my hand and gently caressed it.

”That you were the ones that wrote the letters....” I spoke in whispers through gritted teeth, I try and pry my hands away.

“Ah, so smart!”, Seokjin laughed, “Who was who?”

Both of them looked at me filled with curiosity.

“I think that you”, I pointed at Yoongi and Seokjin, “are Suga and Jin, and that him and him”, I pointed at Jeongguk and Jimin,” Are Cocky and Chimmy respectively”

I looked at the rest of the boys quickly. Out of the seven, I properly had interacted with all but Hoseok and knew little to nothing about Taehyung, Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon

“You’re right!”, Seokjin laughed along with Yoongi, “Who else?”

”Ahhh, Hoseok he’s hope? And that Taehyung is V? And so that leaves Namjoon as RM...”, I trailed as a girl with a name tag that read ‘Heejin’ served my food.

”Ah, thank you! Miss... Heejin!” I thanked her brightly, or as brightly as I could.

“Hey, princess, look at us....” Yoongi pouted at me.

Blushing even more, I nod quietly, not wanting to anger any of them.

”You haven’t taken your medicine, have you?” Seokjin asked, causing Taehyung to look up from his conversation with Jimin.

”Yeah, she hasn’t taken it yet!”, Taehyung exclaimed.

”But she’s behaving so well!” Hoseok gushed.

”Yeah, but we don’t want that to changes do we?” Namjoon laughed as he took a little flask from his suit.

They passed it down until it reached Seokjin, who took the baby blue flask and looked me in the eye.

”Princess, how do you want to take it? From the bottle or with your juice?” He asked me.

”I-I don’t know-“ I stuttered as I blushed from the attention, was I child to them? Was this a game? I was a year from being a legal adult!

And how could I be so fucking weak?

”She doesn’t know, our baby doesn’t know!” Jimin awed as he sighed into his chair.

”So cute!” Taehyung agreed with his older friend.

”For fucks sake, I love her...” Jeongguk mutters with wide eyes.

What the hell is wrong with them?

”Want to take it from the bottle for us?” Namjoon asked as he fiddled with his tie, a pink blush taking over his cheeks.

”I-I guess?” I answered confused.

I took the bottle out of Seokjin’s hand a quickly chugged it down.

Tastes like the alcohol we’d sneak out of Jeongguk’s dad’s alcohol stash.

”Princess took it so well!” Taehyung clapped.

”Yes she did!” Jimin cheered as he leaned against his palm creepily.

As the other boys began talking with each other again and their attention drifted off of me I waited until only Seokjin and Yoongi were still quiet.

”Hey, what is it that you made me drink?” I asked Seokjin, I picked at his ring hoping to catch his attention.

”Ahh, just a little something to make you behave properly.” Seokjin assured me, he took my hand and kissed before setting it down next to the plate

”How?” I pressed him slightly.

”This makes you behave better, it makes you more well behaved for us, it’ll help you learn how to behave.” Seokjin tried to clear it out for me.

“Bu-“

”Look, darling, you’re done! You ate so well! Hmm, how about you leave with me now!” Jimin suddenly spoke up.

”Wh-” I had barely eaten, I hadn’t even touched the soup and I was starving.

”It’s my day today and tomorrow! Then again, I don’t remember anymore but dates aren’t important. So, let’s go!” Jimin pressed on as he helped me stand up and began dragging me out of the room against the judgment of the other boys. He quickly ran out and picked me up, now I truly couldn’t leave. I was getting tired and giddy by the minute.

“Let’s change clothes together!” Jimin suggested as he ran with me into the house.

———☽

Jimin took changing together quite literally. He brought his clothes to the closet, but instead of using my brain I let him.

The weird liquid they constantly fed me seemed to take effect quickly as I began giggling at every action Jimin did.

By the time we were done changing, we were both wearing matching outfits consisting of orange and navy blues striped oversized sweaters and light blue shorts, with white sneakers and socks.

”You look so cute!” Jimin squealed as he hugged me tight.

”Ha! Thanks Jiminie!” I laughed.

”Where do you want to go?” Jimin asked me as he took my hand and led me outside the other side of the house.

“I don’t know... let’s see a movie!” I suggested, not remembering that we were in the middle of an island the possibility of actually there being a cinema were scarce.

”Yeah, let’s go! In the village there is a movie place-“

”How?” I asked him as he took me down a path as we seemed to be walking down a hill.

”Jin’s family built a village here for their special workers, originally that is, so they could come over to have vacations and not risk having anything happen to them, they still sometimes come but not as often as a bunch of those special workers got ‘scared off by the bad vibes’ over here, as if....”

”So it’s haunted?”

”Nah, it was us trying to get them to leave so we could get this island for you! It was around the time you left, so we had a ton of time to make this place special!” Jimin recalled.

”Ahh, but how did you know I’d come back?” My eyes were dropping slightly, I was beginning to feel number and number.

”You’re very special to us, darling, there is no way in hell we’d let you leave us.” Jimin spoke seriously.

”Really?” I asked him in slight shock.

”Mhm, I mean, at least I do. I dunno about the others but I’m pretty sure I love you!” He spoke softly as we arrived at a town-ish little place.

There were a few people, people that looked very important and rich walking around. People that didn’t seem to like us, why?

”Let’s go, it’s over there!”, Jimin seemed to read my mind when he pulled me toward the cinema, “Let’s watch your favorite one!”

What Jimin had led me wasn’t exactly what you would’ve imagined. But it certainly was a cinema, black background and red velvet, cushioned seats. It was extremely modern in comparison to what I had childishly imagined.

As the movie played on, I couldn’t concentrate on it. Maybe it was because I had seen it over ten times or maybe it was because of Jimin sitting on my lap and cuddling me. No, it was because the drug was warring off, maybe they underestimated my tolerance to the drug. The more minutes passed the more conscious I was about the whole ordeal that had happened in the last forty hours. The death of my whole family, the death of my friends and their families, my kidnapping; everything.

Suddenly I began hearing the soft snores Jimin made while he slept. I looked down at him. One of my tormentors. One of the reasons everything I loved was gone. The more I looked at him, the more I wanted him dead. Frustration that had been built since I moved back into that god damned town was falling over me.

I was crying, I realized when a few tears had fallen into Jimin’s face. I watched as he moved a bit in his sleep as he smiled, muttering my name sometimes or even laughing.

Bastard.

In that moment I realized that if someone didn’t enter that cinema in the next few minutes I would murder that man. I would choke him to death. Scream at him how much I hated him.

It seems someone heard me as two males, followed by two females, came into the cinema.

“[Name]! Are you crying? Are you okay?” I heard Jeongguk exclaim as he ran towards me.

He growled at Jimin as he woke up from his nap in my lap.

”Wh-“

”Why is [Name] crying, Jimin?” Taehyung asked him seriously.

”Wh-“ I pushed Jimin off me, cutting him before he could even start.

I brushed my clothes off, in hopes of brushing him off me too.

“Because I fucking hate you lot, that’s why. What is wrong with you? You keep drugging me all the damn time and expect me to be cool with it? You fucking ruin my life in a few hours and think I’m going to be all lovey-dovey with you? You little fuckers, you all ruined my life!”

I straightened my posture and walked out of the building. I ignored as Jimin and Jeongguk broke down crying, I ignored Taehyung as he screamed at me to come back.

”What? Ha, as if I cared!” Taehyung shouted at me before he quickly realized what he had said, “Dammit!” He cried again.

”Bunny, come back!”, Jeongguk cried softly as he tried chasing me slowly.

”Fuck off.” I responded tired, “You really think that some random ass drug is going to make me be okay with you lot taking me for hostage or some shit?”

We walked out of the cinema.

”It’s not like that!” Jeongguk exclaimed, he was getting more and more frustrated as I spoke. “They love you, we love you! I love you dammit!”

”Love? You sickos call this bullshit love? You need medical help, Jeongguk. Cut it with your bullshit, are you really that desperate that you’re gonna up front kidnap me? And on top of that fuckery, you expect me to be in love with you? Like hell I will! I despise you, Jeongguk, I have despised you since I came back home. You were nothing but the biggest dick ever to me and then you pull up this bullshit? ‘I love you’ you say, bull-fucking-shit I say.” Pushing him as I walk towards the house, I look back at him. “You are so full of yourself it’s disgusting.”

Looking at me in shock, Jeongguk then straightened himself up and began making his way faster towards me. I couldn’t see his eyes as he walked with his head bowed down, yet I didn’t want to see his eyes.

”Look, bunny, I wanted to behave. I really fucking did, but this behavior of yours it’s not up to my standards,” he gripped my wrist suddenly, “and I call bullshit to it. You see, bunny, I behaved like a good little bunny boy because you liked me like that didn’t you? You wanted me to be your Jeongguk, and so I did because that way you’d be mine, right?  But it seems like you think you’re in control, that you don’t belong to me, and let me tell you sweetheart, I don’t like it when people take control. You promised me we would get married, you promised me you’d love me, that we’d be together forever, all if I was your little good bunny. And I did. But you, you didn’t keep your part of the promise, you weren’t a good owner. No, no, you went out there and caught others hearts and then moved out of town, you left your bunny alone with these impostors. I didn’t like it, I did not like it at all, and I’m making sure no one takes my owner away now, even if I have to make you my bunny.”

”What?” I asked in a whisper, yet he ignored me and continued on rambling.

”I’ll put a pretty little collar on your neck if you even think of running away, but you won’t, right bunny? You’ll be here with me, and you’ll help me kill them off. All of them.” He laughed as he began leading me inside the house, to his room.

“Ki-kill them?”

”Yeah, they’ve made your life a hell, Hoseok killed Mark, Namjoon spread rumors of you, Seokjin has poisoned you before, Jimin broke into your house a bunch of time with Tae, Tae stalked you and taken suggestive pictures of you and Yoongi, he started the fire.” He smiled evilly as he caresses my cheeks.

”B-but...”

”See bunny? You can’t trust anyone here, not even me, but unlike them I’m willing to do anything, within reason, to redeem myself to you, but no letting you leave, sadly.” Jeongguk then began kissing my hand and talking, “So, will you let me be your bunny? I’ll do anything you ask of me, I’ll be your servant. I promise you that you won’t regret it, just let me be your bunny again.” He pouted as he looked up and left one last kiss on me knuckles.

He then threw me on the bed and rested himself on my chest as he looked up.

”I’ll do anything for you, kill, cook, torture, plant flowers, anything, you can tell me what to dress, how to act, how you want my hair. I’ll be your doll, bunny, just say yes. I’ll protect you from them.”

Blushing, my mind began to race as my blood began pumping faster. My mind became hazy as I spoke words that I didn’t know if I regretted.

“O-okay, I-I mean, yes?”

Suddenly it was his turn to become excited, as adrenaline seemed to pump through his veins, his eyes got wider as he caged me in his arms.

”Really? Oh my- finally! God, I love you, I love you, I love you!” He cried as he cupped my face in his hands, tears began to stream violently down his face, ”I’ll be the best bunny!” He laughed as he kissed me in the lips, it wasn’t like he left me much choice.

You never truly learn how to stop making mistakes, do you?

________________ღ

When: Back then.

Why: Because she didn’t want to.

Where: Home?

—————— b e t r a y a l ————————

Blood. Everywhere. The room was drenched in the red liquid, the smell of iron attached itself in every surface the liquid was attached to, the sticky substance was dripping from its source to the floor and the surrounding areas. Patterns of blood everywhere, ceilings, walls, floor.

Mutilated. The corpses let out their rotting smell, it seemed to reach every corner and stay there, the smell didn’t fade, even if they had been laying there for years and years.

Standing in the middle was the son of a loving family, as he breathed heavily, as he stared at someone he never thought he’d hurt.

“Why? What did that poor woman do to you?” She asked him while tears pooled in her eyes, his eyes.

”Mom, you don’t understand!” He shouted at her, of course she didn’t; she didn’t know [Name] like he did.

”No I do not, you- look what you did! All for this girl who doesn’t even know you! I should call the police, Taehyung, what you’re doing isn’t normal! You’re going to hurt her aren’t you?” She yelled at him.

“Hurt her? We are talking about [Name] you know!” He yelled back.

He yelled at his mother.

”Yes I do, and I also know that this isn’t okay! Taehyung, do you think this is okay? Killing people?”

”Scumbags.” He muttered as his chest rose up and down at a dangerous pace.

”What did you say?” She asked, this boy, no this man wasn’t her son.This thing wasn’t human.

“They were scumbags, they weren’t people! They contaminated her, mom, they tried to dirty her! Why don’t you understand? I love her and she loves me back! I’ve seen it, I’ve fucking seen it!” He shouted at her as he took slow steps towards her.

”Wait until your father hears about this, I might not call the police but he sure will, he will not tolerate this!” The mother shouted at her son, her husband was a good man, he’d teach their son.

”Dad? He’s been gone for almost a year! What? Don’t tell me you thought he was gonna return now?” He asked her as he laughed, tears falling from his cheeks.

”Y-yes, he will and he will not tolerate this behavior of yours!” She tried to stand her ground against her own blood. This thing was not her son.

”He was with another woman, mother, he came back months ago, do you want to hear what happened with dad and her?”

He began laughing louder as he saw the look in his mother’s eyes.

”The secretary, mom, it was her; Heejae. You weren’t home when they arrived, I was though, I was here all along and I heard it all, do you want to hear it, momma? Hear how father cheated on you with that slut?” He walked to a small computer in the back of the room, he passed through corpses as if they were nothing.

The mother followed the son, almost like a robot, as he pressed play on a video. A video showcasing the most intimate act between two people; between her husband and his secretary.

“It was upstairs, momma, until they saw your car, they ran down here, my mistake was I didn’t lock the door, so they saw it all. He acted just like you said he would, but their phones were on their pants, they always are, but the problem is they didn’t have theirs on. And guess what I did Momma?” He looked as the tears streamed down her face as she looked at him.

”What did you do, Taehyung?”

”I killed them. Now tell me, mom, do you think that my relationship with [Name] is a bad one?” He asked as his mother threw herself at him as she cried.

”I-I-“

”It’s not, is it? What I’m doing is preventing her from doing things like this, now tell me, mom, am I bad?”

”N-no?” She croaked, her own sanity was falling down like sand castle, a human being can only take so much at a time before they fall into insanity. This boy was her son.

“See mom? Now, I don’t want you to end up like dad, so, will you help me keep my [Name] save?”

The son asked his mother for help. And just like any good mother, she accepted it.

“Thank you, momma, I promise you your daughter in law will be better than this dumbass of a father.”

———— m o m m a ————

And just like that the son’s mother set out to help him and his friends with all of their deeds. Of course, she didn’t cheer for all seven kids, that at this point she considered her own, she always hoped that her son would win the girl’s heart.

“Taehyungie, make sure you dress nicely today, you have biology with her, don’t you?” She reminded him every Wednesday and Thursday.

”Oh, yeah! Thank you, momma!” He’d always let her help him get dressed and fix his hair for her.

And just like that, a bond that should have broken only strengthened itself.

———— m o m m a ————

One day, the son burst out crying as he came in the house he and his mother lived in.

The woman didn’t work, as her husband had left them a great deed of money and her friend Miss Kim helped her, she was also in their sons secrets.

”Taehyung! Oh god, what happened?” She cried, the last time he had reacted this way was when his lover had left him to go elsewhere, since then all his friends and the families that knew had been trying to locate her and bring her back to them.

”Momma, Jin said- he said that baby bear was going to come back next week! She’s coming back, Momma!” He cried harder as he hugged his mother.

“She is?” She exclaimed she was ecstatic, finally her son was going to be happy again.

”Yes! I-I gotta make myself handsome for her shouldn’t I? Ohh, it’s been so long, what if she’s changed her taste? What if she doesn’t hang out Jeongguk anymore? What if she- she had a boyfriend?” He muttered the last part darkly to himself.

The mother chuckled to herself as she hugged her son, he looked older but he still acted like a little kid. This boy was her son.

”Don’t worry, Taehyungie, she won’t have a boyfriend, she isn’t like your bastard of a father, she wouldn’t cheat on you, and if she does, has that ever stopped you? You’re the best looking boy in your school, baby, she’ll realize her mistake in an instant! Then you’ll take her to the island and be happy there forever!” She hugged her son closely as he cried out his love’s name.

”Come on, tomorrow you won’t go to school, you know what? You won’t go to school at all this week, we’re gonna get you ready for [Name], how does that sound?” She decided as she looked down her son who was snuggled into her chest.

”N-nice.” He stuttered as he smiled softly.

That week, the son and mother spent a ridiculous amount of money to make the already handsome boy look even better. This woman was his mom.

———— m o m m a ————

And so it went, the boy updated his mother on his delusional relationship and the mother believed it and loved the thought of her boy with such an amazing woman as [Name].

Until the one day.

“Momma! Jeongguk said that [Name] is gonna hang out with him and Namjoon and that she might hang out with us too soon!” The boy ran to his mother shouting in joy.

The news caused her to jump in joy with her son.

”Oh! Baby, that’s amazing!” She hugged him as she smiled up at him.

”It is, isn’t it?” He laughed.

”Of course! Oh, by the way, the boy that tried to flirt with [Name] last week is in the basement, he’s sedated, so you can do whatever you want with him after you do your homework and remember that dinner is at seven!” She laughed as her son nodded happily and skipped up the stairs in joy. These two things are human.

——— m o m m a ———

“Momma, Momma! You won’t believe what happened!” He shouted as he sat down at the table with his mom and younger sister.

They weren’t siblings by blood, him and his mother decided to adopt her one day due to the similarities she had to his lover. The day they adopted the girl, they swore to protect her from harm. The son ended up as a father figure to the young girl and the mother watched almost as a grandmother. He liked to believe that she was his daughter with his lover.

“Huh? What happened, Hyungie?” The younger sister asked.

”Ahh, Jieun, we made a friend with the boys, her name is Sooyeong and she will help to bring my wife, [Name], to us!” The son smiled at the five year old.

”Really?” She asked happily.

”Oh, wasn’t she a friend of [Name]’s?” The mother asked, “Won’t she snitch?”

”Nah, she even killed her family! She’ll also kill [Name]’s friends so that she’ll only have us!” The son smiled proudly.

”Amazing!” Mother looked at both her children.

”See Jieun, you gotta protect [Name] just like Taehyung-ie when we leave to the island, okay?”

”Yes, momma.”

”So what will you do, Jieunie?”

”If [Name] does anything suspicious with one of the boys other than Hyungie I’ll tell Hyungie and momma about it so that they can purify her, then I’ll take her to drink tea and make her sad so she doesn’t do it again!” The girl recited by heart as she smiled, the two other people clapped and congratulated her.

”Yes!” Her brother smiled.

“Aren’t you an amazing little girl?”

——— m o m m a ———

“Momma?” She heard her son’s voice from the phone, she held her daughter tightly.

”Yes?”

”Are you on the plane with Jieun?” He asked worriedly, he needs his mom to be there with him.

”Yes, is [Name] with you?” She asked as the plane began preparing to take off.

”Yes, she’s sound asleep now. It’s so weird, it really is happening, momma. Ah, we’re landing soon, I’ll call you when we’re home, love you momma! Tell Jieun that she’ll meet my wife soon!” He made a kissing sound before cutting off the phone call.

”Momma, is it normal to do what we’re doing? Taking a girl to a place far away without her family, what if she gets lonely?” The daughter asked.

”It’s normal, Jieunie, we’re protecting her from those beasts that will make her cheat on Taehyung, not that she would, but it’s best to be sure. Plus, we’re gonna be her new family, so she isn’t going to be lonely.” Mother smiled at the girl as she curled into her chest.

”Are you sure, momma?”

”Momma always knows best, baby.”

______________ღ

——— m o n e y , m o n e y ———

“Hey, Seokjin, how was summer camp?” Seokjin’s older brother asked him excitedly, he hadn’t been able to go due to his parents forcing him to stay home and study but he was alright with it, he knew it was for his and his brother’s future.

”Ahh, Seokjung, it was something.” Seokjin commented tiredly, he was exhausted by how idiotic the kids in that camp were.

”Really? Huh, but what’s something, Jin? It can’t be nothing.” Seokjung pouted as he sat down on the couch next to Jin, couldn’t Seokjin see how lucky he was?

”Ah, it was okay, I guess, I was the second oldest though, so they put me in charge of my cabin, so I had to work with this girl, I think her name was Joohyun?” Seokjin told his brother.

”Ahh, Joohyun? Like Bae Joohyun?” He asked, now this was important, Seokjung smiled.

”Yeah, I think, why?” Jin mused, now this was interesting, was this the girl his brother had a crush on? No, it couldn’t Joohyun was fifteen, the same age as Jin, and Seokjung had said she was younger than him. Seokjung being only fourteen years old.

”Ah, was [Last Name] [Full Name] there?” Seokjung asked blushing.

”I think so?” Seokjin answered amused.

”W-well, you see, she’s the girl I have a crush on.” Seokjin confessed blushing red.

”Really? She’s like twelve dude, what? That’s creepy dude, what the hell?” Seokjin snorted, Seokjung pushed Seokjin laughing embarrassed.

”H-hey! I know, and that’s why I’m not going to act on my feelings okay? Anyway, she’s cute and all but she’s in what, fifth grade and I’m in eighth and the fact that she’s friends with Jeongguk, Jeon Junghyung’s little brother, isn’t going to help much.” Seokjung laughed.

”Wow, tragic, anyway, where’s mom and dad?” Seokjin laughed.

”Oh, yeah, they went out to dinner with this weird ass old man, dunno why, probably business.” Seokjung casually mentioned, “Anyway, Jin are you going to go to camp next year?”

”Hmm, do you want to?” Jin asked.

”Huh? Do I want to go? Hell yes I do, it seems fun as hell!”

“Then I’ll go, Jung, don’t worry, I’ll have fun for you.” Jin smiled.

If Seokjin could have something his brother didn’t and wanted, he was going to have it no matter what.

————— m u s t  b e  f u n n y ————

Fuck Seokjung, fuck mom and dad, fuck that damned company, fuck it all.

Seokjin, grumbled as he threw himself into his bed, why did Seokjung have everything?

“He inherited the company, the smarts, the good looks, every-fucking-thing, he has a crush, he is a crush, the money, the girls, he gets it all, he’s fucking younger than me by two fucking years and what did I get? Summer camp, summer fucking camp.” Seokjin whispered harshly.

He turned around in his bed and looked at the window.

”I could steal his crush.” Seokjin told himself matter of factly.

It was true, he got confessed everyday by some girl, even if he didn’t try so maybe if he tried he could steal [Name] from Seokjung.

”Yeah, that isn’t too hard, is it?” Seokjin mused. “But, what does [Name] like?”

Who was [Name] in the first place, was she mature? What did she like? Was what he was doing perhaps too petty? No, it was a dose of Seokjung’s own medicine.

That night, Seokjin spent it all looking around his brothers room while the latter slept. He found both something horrifying and absolutely amazing.

”He fucking stalks her.” He mused.

And like that he spent countless nights throughout the rest of the summer, rummaging through his brothers stuff, and during the day he’d stalk her to gather all he could to win her over. So someone would choose him over his brother.

———— i n  a  r i c h  m a n ‘ s ———

“Seokjin, oh god!” His mother cried in the couch, she bawled her eyes out in her own hands. Her son, her favorite son, had died.

”Your brother, Jin, he killed himself.” His father finished as he also cried, Seokjin knew that if it had been him they’d only shed a few tears, but with Seokjung? They’d cry a river for that bastard.

He knew.

”What?” Seokjin asked with, fake, sadness.

”Yes, we don’t know why, b-but me and your mother needs a break so we’ll be going on vacation for awhile, at that island we bought a while ago, anyway this isn’t what we need to tell you is that- you’ll be taking over the company.” His father smiled through tears. “Make us proud son.”

That was what his parents told him before they sent him to summer camp again, yet he didn’t want to go. Nothing else was said between him and his parents not that he cared, he had something more important at hand. He didn’t cry, why would he? He had killed Seokjung anyway, with the help of his friends that is.

His princess wasn't there anymore.

———— w o r l d ———

“I-I like you and I know I’m three years older than you, [Name], but you’re very nice and next year I’m leaving so I won’t be here anymore, really and I heard you’d move soon in like a month or more and I was like, wondering if you’d like to go out, not like a date, that’s like, weird but-“ Seokjung confessed to the blushing fourteen year old.

”Ah, you’re , but I like you anyway!” She smiled, she was not expecting that nor was he.

”You do?” He asked in shock.

”Yeah! And, yes I know I’m fourteen and that this is weird and all, you’re like what seventeen, but let’s give it a go while you’re illegal, ‘kay? After you turn eighteen it’s all gone! And if it doesn’t work you can forget me and if it does you can, like, totally wait!” She fingered gunned the boy as he laughed.

”O-okay?” He asked laughing harder at her antics.

”Totally tubular!” She joked as she grabbed his hand and interlocked their fingers and pulled him to an ice cream shop as they both chatted happily.

They were too happy to notice the group of four males glaring their way.

”Your brother confessed to her,” Namjoon gaped at the scene, he couldn’t believe what he had just seen.

”And she accepted him!” Hoseok cried, tears streamed down his face.

”And she’s leaving, leaving while dating your idiot brother?” Yoongi growled. “That’s fucking illegal!”

”He’s still underage though...” Seokjin commented numbly. He had finally realized after two years of stalking her, he had realized he had fallen in love with her too. But it was too late, and the fates hated him, and his princess was about to leave the kingdom without him. And she was now with that pig of a brother.

”Kill him.” Seokjin said suddenly as they stood up, he didn’t even think twice before saying it.

”What?” Hoseok asked scared, kill someone? Him? No way, he couldn’t even kill an ant!

”Kill him, let’s kill my brother.” Seokjin laughed.

”What the fuck, dude? You okay?” Yoongi asked worried, that wasn’t like Seokjin at all.

”Hell yes, I’m so okay that my brother stole the love of my fucking life!” He answered sarcastically, as he glared at the ice cream shop.

“Hey, guys, you said you’d do anything for [Name], right?” Namjoon asked suddenly.

”What are you talking about now?” Hoseok asked even more scared, if that was even possible.

”I say, we do it, murder Seokjung, he’s in the way.” Seokjin repeated.

”Me too.” Namjoon agreed.

”Okay, fine, it’s for [Name], right?” Yoongi asked, it didn’t take much convincing for him anyway. It’s not like he hadn’t considered murder before, he just never had the resources to actually do it.

”Yeah.” Seokjin answered him, obviously, who else would it be for.

”Hoseok?” Namjoon asked.

”F-fine, but let’s not get caught, ‘kay?”

“That’s the fucking plan you idiot.” Yoongi laughed.

”Anyway, how do we do it?” Seokjin asked seriously, not an ounce of hesitation or doubt laid in his voice.

”Fake a suicide?” Namjoon suggested, he couldn’t believe they were actually going to do this.

”Hmm, yeah, whatever. Should we call the younger kids though?” Yoongi asked as they walked the basically dead streets.

”Nah, they’ll probably snitch, plus Jeongguk isn’t in the best place with [Name] leaving and all that shit, he’ll need Jimin and Tae.”

”Yeah, so how do we do it? The fake suicide? What’s the story behind it, do we forge a letter?”

”We can make him choke in the new car dad gave him, we can lock him in the garage and turn the engine on, no one can survive that, he won’t be able to breath in a few minutes but just in case, we can leave him there for an hour or so.” Seokjin told them his plan.

And they all agreed.

And that’s how they killed their first victim. But it was too late, [Name] had already left town, without knowledge of what happened to Seokjung until years later, yet by that time she had bigger problems than that.

——— m o n e y  , m o n e y———

“Seokjin, aren’t you happy?” His driver asked him, he probably had no idea his brother died or that he really didn’t want to leave his home, he wanted to work, he needed to work.

”Not really.” Seokjin sighed as he leaned against the glass.

”Why is that?”

“Because the girl I love left.” Seokjin told him dramatically, he was the only adult he felt comfortable enough joking with.

”Ahh, how special is that girl?” The old man laughed, his voice was filled with joy and curiosity.

”Special enough I’d kill for her.” Seokjin smirked behind the old man’s back.

———— w a s  r e a l l y  f u n n y ———

If Seokjung had it, Seokjin needed it. That’s how you fell in the devil's hands. By mere bad luck and a one sided rivalry, quite a drama, right? At the beginning, he only wanted you for the sake of having something his brother wanted. But slowly, it became more about himself, and his needs. He needed you now, not his brother, not the company, you. And not even that overachieving idiot was going to keep you two apart.

Luckily for Seokjin, it seems like you didn’t remember either him or his brother. He now was the only heir of the Kim company in your mind and memory. He now had something his brother didn’t. He has you.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t regret killing his brother, he would’ve enjoyed seeing his face as he won you over.

But one can’t have it all, can they?

———— i n  a  d e a d  m a n ‘s  w o r l d —

————         

@nojamsnoham @camiliasmencles @yandere-hobi @spaceunicorn293  @prinnytaylor @mo-la @ggukkimari @ilovesomuchstuff @strawberry-leche

————

[j4gm]

Ted Anderson’s Adventure Time Season 11 AMA.

So Ted Anderson, writer of Adventure Time Season 11, unexpectedly hopped onto the Adventure Time Discord yesterday for an impromptu AMA. He talked a lot about what his plans were for the rest of Season 11 and beyond, and also talked about his other work including Beginning of the End, My Little Pony, Moth & Whisper, and Orphan Age. Here's most of his answers. I’ve rearranged them to be in a more coherent order.

You can read the full AMA on the r/adventuretime Discord.

Mordo: Before the cancellation, was the stuff with Finn and the humans going to be longer than 2 issues?

Ted: That particular story was always planned to be 2 issues.

The way S11 was going to work is, it would be broken into 3 chunks of 4 issues apiece. The first story was the Empress Marceline 4-issue story. The second chunk would be the 2-issue Humantown story, followed by two single-issue stories. Then there would be one big 4-issue finale story.

Also I should clarify the breakdown of the first arc: Sonny Liew wrote the story, but that was just a summary of events. I wrote the actual script and laid out the events and so forth. I think technically he's credited for Plot and I'm credited for Script?

The first single-issue story was already sort of revealed—that's the one about Jake and Jermaine. The second one would have been about Finn deciding he wants to make something, and going on a big adventure to make a new, handmade sword. And the 4-issue finale would have followed off of the Humantown story and wrapped up more of that.

I was actually already starting issue 8 before I heard it was canceled. Issue 7 is done, but unfortunately it can't see the light of day. It's the property of BOOM and Cartoon Network, not me.

[Issue #7] was a very standalone kind of issue: Jermaine is a successful painter and gets invited to a big fancy party, and Jake invites himself along. Jake ostensibly came to invite Jermaine to the family reunion [in the finale arc], but he knows that Jermaine doesn't like to travel. So he actually came to do a big mystery adventure. One of Jermaine's paintings gets stolen, so the two of them investigate to find out the truth. In the end it's revealed that the whole thing is a big setup by Jake, who wanted to give his brother a fun bonding experience, Mostly I wanted to write some done-in-one stories and get some Jermaine in there, because I like him.

Issue 8 would have been about Finn, who's feeling restless after making the cabin, and deciding he wants to make more stuff, so he decides to make his own sword. He meets various characters traveling around Ooo, checking in with them and talking about what he's doing now. I wanted to focus on Finn feeling adrift now that the biggest adventure of them all has happened, and he's kind of without a purpose.

Boulder/Stert: What would the comic's finale have looked like? What would the end of S11 have looked like had you made it there?

Ted: So thematically, I wanted to get to the idea that Finn was feeling useless as an adventurer. The world was getting more saved, things were getting rebuilt, people don't need a "kid with a sword" any more. But Finn would've realized that it's not about him as a lone adventurer—he's part of a community, a whole bunch of people who are working to make the world a better place.

The finale story would have revealed that Dr. Gross had been offered amnesty and was secretly working in Humantown, plotting a takeover of all of Ooo. Dr. Gross would've created a plague to affect the candy people and something called "GO Juice" [Genetic Optimizer Juice], which was just Finn's DNA injected into the humans to make them into adventurers too. But, crucially, it wouldn't have made them teammates—they would've just been a bunch of lone wolves. So when Jake and Lady and PB and Marceline and all the rest work together, they defeat the humans easily. Rather than fight Dr. Gross, [Finn] escapes and helps his friends, who are fighting everyone else.

There's a little bit of that story still in issue 5: Finn gets a scratch fighting the robot and Minerva patches it up, and that's how they would've gotten his DNA.

I was going to bring back Samantha the dog as a side villain. She would've taken over the Candy Kingdom with a dog army, in order to plunder their technology and lead a dog revolution in the Crystal Dimension, but really she was just being used by Dr. Gross.

Also Jake would've had a family reunion, because I really wanted to write all his kids. Originally it was going to be him and Lady finally getting married. [Cartoon Network] specifically said that Jake and Lady couldn't get married, because they were, and I quote, a "modern couple". I still have no idea exactly what that means, haha.

I had some thoughts about how I wanted to handle the humans. I didn't want them to immediately integrate into Ooo, but I didn't want them to be completely standoffish and weird, either. Issue 12 would've ended with them more or less being led by Minerva, and slowly putting themselves out there.

Something else I should make clear: I had absolutely no contact with the AT people, so I don't know if any of my ideas fit with what they wanted to do. All of this stuff is just out of my head.

Stert: Yeah I feel like you would've been good as long as you didn't straight up contradict the show.

Ted: Oh, speaking of contradicting the show, I got a funny note about the Empress Marceline story. Originally, in Sonny Liew's notes and my script, it actually took place 10,000 years in the future, not 1,000. But for some reason CN changed it to 1000. And I have no idea why, because all that does is mess with the timeline more. Like, if it's 1000 years in the future, it should have Shermy and Beth and look like that setting. But by the time CN changed it, it was too late for me to add in any of that stuff. So if you think it's weird that Shermy and Beth didn't show up, and Marceline wasn't trying to rescue Bubblegum from an ice prison: that's why!

SpaceGiraffe/Owlz: Were there any plans for Simon to meet with the humans and/or Minerva? I wanted to know if you had any plans for Ice King or if that was just Olivia's job?

Ted: Once I heard that Olivia was doing the Simon & Marcy series, I deliberately kept my hands off of Simon, just in case. I didn't quite know what I would want to do with him, either. He could play an interesting role in post-finale Ooo, but ... idk, he's been defined so much by tragedy and loss, it would've taken a while to build him back up again.

Stert: Do you know if Gross and Minerva would have interacted in these new comics?

Ted: I hadn't planned for Gross and Minerva to interact too much? Minerva would've come along with Finn when he infiltrated Humantown to find out what happened. Actually, my idea was that Minerva uses her "Mini-form," which is literally a six-inch-tall action figure of her that would ride on Finn's shoulder as he snuck through the vents, haha.

Stert: The final issue ends on a pretty negative note for Finn and humanity. He's very angry at Malloy lying to him and storms off not wanting to have anything to do with Humantown. Looking back do you think it's a good idea to end Finn's arc in these comics with the humans on a pretty downer note?

Ted: I don't think it's the best way to end S11, no. It makes sense because it's a natural story break, but it also leaves Finn angry and resentful, and deliberately separating himself from other communities. I do love those last two pages, because Mar Julia did some amazing art on them, but emotionally it leaves Finn kind of out in the cold. I did tweak issue 6 a little by adding the HW scene. Originally Finn went to see Aunt Lolly to see if she made the robot monsters. Frankly, the HW scene is better in every way, haha.

Owlz: Did you have ideas for Finn's closure with Huntress?

I like [Finntress]! I like a lot of Finn relationships. But I also like how it's very casual and not labeled. I should be clear: I really didn't change anything based on people's feedback from here. But the [Discord] server and poking around Tumblr reminded me that I needed to include some HW. I feel like their relationship has always been ambiguous, so I liked them not getting a super specific ending.

Boulder: Did you have anything in S11 for Mars?

Ted: I didn't have anything for Mars, actually! I should've! I like Mars a lot, mostly because we see so little of it and it's so dang weird.

Boulder/StephanFS: What plans did you have after S11, with or without a cancellation? If BOOM announced S12 with you as the main writer, what would you write?

Ted: I didn't have anything specific for after S11, since I already knew that it was probably going to be the last time I was going to write AT. I had some vague ideas of trying to bring back Fern, but like ... that's a very fanservice type of thing to do, haha. I probably would've brought him back just to let him die again, but this time with a little more closure. Also I might have done more stuff with magic? I love the weird elements of magic they've got set up in the show. Maybe doing something with four new elements of magic, one of which would have been grass. But that was just very vague thoughts.

Stert: Who did you like writing for most/have the most trouble with? Between Beginning of the End and the S11 issues you mostly handled Finn with a touch of Jake and the rest in smaller amounts, interested in if you were happy with that or wanted to play with other folks.

Ted: Jake was definitely the most fun to write, just because of his way of speaking. Whenever I did a line of his dialogue, I ran it through John DiMaggio's voice first to see if it sounded right. As for favorite in general, that's a tough one. I was told to try and keep the focus on Finn and Jake rather than the side characters, just because they're the main characters. But that suited me just fine. And yeah, for BotE I was also told to keep the focus on Finn and Jake. But that's what I was planning to do anyway. (And yes, I still plan to finish the annotations for BotE! One of these days! Promise!)

Stert: How well did you know the show before you started work on the comics?

Ted: So, total honesty: I loved AT and stuck with it until about season 5. Which, not coincidentally, is when Steven Universe started. I didn't ever stop loving AT, I just fell off the wagon for a while.

Stert: Tale as old as time 🤣

Ted: So once I got the news about BotE, I binged everything from the start. I didn't actually get to see the finale until after I'd started writing S11. CN was being very careful about leaks, so they wouldn't actually let their comics people watch upcoming episodes. But Whitney, my editor, had seen it, so she described it to me over the phone. Very weird experience.

Mordo: What is your view on Come Along With Me?

Ted: I feel like it was as good as it could be, under the circumstances. After hearing about their plans and how they thought they'd have another season, it made more sense. Like, if they'd had a bunch more episodes, they could've set up Gumbald and used the Candy Kingdom Haters some more (remember them???) The finale had a tough job to do: they wanted to give a satisfactory ending to as many of the threads in the series as they could, and yeah, some people didn't get as much as others. Again, I really wish they'd had another season.

Owlz: What do you think of characters like Martin or Ice King?

Ted: I would've LOVED to bring Martin in somehow. He never really got his comeuppance. I don't think I could've put him in S11, but if there had been a S12 or a miniseries or something, that would've been ideal. He's such a ****ty dad, haha. I hate him as a person but love him as a character. I probably would've brought him back by saying, like, "Oh yeah, I hung out with that transcendent being from beyond space, but she got sick of me after a week and dropped me off on an asteroid."

Stert: Were there any characters you were very intimidated to write for, like you thought you would screw them up?

Ted: Oh that's a great question. Honestly, I was a little worried about writing Marceline, because I feel like she's very specifically tied to the experience of being a teenage girl. Which I've never been. Like, the best stuff with Marceline is by Olivia Olson, or Meredith Gran, or Kate Leth, who have written about (and actually been) a teenage girl dealing with Feelings. So getting her right was a challenge.

Owlz: Who’s your favorite AT character?

Ted: Oh man, favorite? That's an impossible question, haha. I have a lot of fondness for Susan Strong. I like her as a kind-of counterpart to Finn, as well as a more driven and adventurous type. She also got to have a really neat arc that ended well, but also left open the door for future adventures. Her design is also great, and her backstory is really cool.

Stert: The stuff you did with her, Billy, and Fern to show off different avenues of heroism and stuff with Finn was very cool.

Ted: Yeah, that was super fun. I think I mentioned this in the annotations: originally it was just going to be Finn meeting a bunch of his alternate versions, like Farmworld Finn. But then I realized, wait, there are characters who are way more interesting than that. (Not to hate on Farmworld Finn! But he's no Susan Strong)

Owlz: What are your thoughts on Betty Grof? The show didn’t reveal much about her.

Ted: Oof. She deserved better. I wanted her to be developed more, frankly. But I sympathize with the creators. I don't think they had the time they needed to flesh her out. I wanted, like, an entire spin-off series about her learning the secrets of magic.

Stert: So to ask another possible impossible question, what's your favorite episode (or multiples)?

Ted: I really do like "Mama Said". It's maybe my favorite one-off episode, just for how surreal it is. Plot-relevant episodes ... I liked the one about Finn building a tower to tear off his dad's arm, haha. I have a real fondness for the wacky one-off episodes, like anything about Jake's kids. The Card Wars tournament episode, or the one about Bronwyn.

Owlz: What if AT got rebooted and you got to be a writer?

Ted: On the one hand, I would've liked creating a more coherent mythology, like exactly how this or that happened. On the other hand, the weird inconsistencies are what make this show so fun.

[While talking about some of the Easter eggs included in Ted’s comics, somebody posted this panel from BotE]

Ted: Part of that panel is actually a quote from Guillermo del Toro. The line about "animated by incredible humanism" is from the introduction he wrote to the Art of Ooo book. I love dropping in weird easter eggs. So when I started writing BotE, I caught up on the entire show, but I also tried to catch up on all the supplementary materials, too. That's why I slipped in that thing about Hunson's nickname of "Johnny Corndog," for example.

Owlz: You should also check out the AT official cookbook. It’s adorable.

Ted: I have! In fact, there's an easter egg from that in there! In issue 6, Minerva mentions something about making Finn her special macaroni and cheese, I think? That's her recipe in the book.

CharlesOberonn: I have a question regarding pacing in comic books. Specifically, how stretched out and slow pacing is in comic books today compared to comic books in the past. A story that would take 1 issue in the 1960s-80s could take 3 or 4 or even 5-8 issues today. What do you say about that?

Ted: Ah, pacing in comics. An old nemesis, haha. I like both the issue format and the book format for comics. You can do very different things with them, just like the difference between movies and TV. If you are writing something with issues, then I feel like every issue needs to give you a complete story, or at least a complete slice of a story. I definitely feel like attitudes have changed regarding how much story you fit into an issue of comics, but that can be both good and bad. A little while ago I reread the original Iron Man story where he confronts his alcoholism, and he goes through withdrawal in literally one page.

Stert: I know this kinda stuff is usually not answered straight up, but how much do you make writing for comics?

Ted: I'm not yet at the point where it's my main job. Right now I'm getting my teaching license so I can be a school librarian. And with licensed comics, I don't get any royalties, just a flat fee for writing the script. But it's a good gig regardless. I get to sit around and tell other people how to draw cartoons. I would absolutely love to write full time, and I'm in the process of getting together more projects to make that happen? But not quite yet. Which reminds me: I am currently trying to put together a pitch with Mar Julia, artist for both BotE and S11! But very different from AT.

Owlz: How long have you worked on comics?

Ted: I've been working on comics for ... something like 6 years? I think? My first professional comic was MLP, actually, which is not at all normal, haha. I was a big fan of the show, and I knew I wanted to write comics. I'm also friends with Zander Cannon, who's been a professional creator for decades and is a super cool guy. He knew someone who worked at IDW, who put me in touch with the MLP editor. I sent them some samples, I sent them some pitches, and bada bing bada boom, they let me write a story about Pinkie Pie. It's all about networking, baby.

Mordo: What’s your favorite TV series of all time?

Ted: Oh jeeze, that's a question. There are TV series that I love in different ways and for different reasons. AT is definitely one of my favorites, but I also love The X-Files, but for completely different reasons. Star Trek the Next Generation is also pretty high up there. Futurama is another one that I'm a big fan of. I should've included a reference to John DiMaggio from that, come to think of it. Showed Jake with a cigar and a beer, or something. Now there's a crossover I'd love to see. Oh, Gravity Falls is definitely up there too. Regular Show is another fun one. I pitched a couple RS ideas around the same time as BotE, but they were already transitioning to the Twenty-Five Years Later series.

Mordo: Not sure if this was answered earlier, but why was AT season 11 the one that had to kick the bucket when it was doing better than the other comics?

Ted: I really have no idea. It was a money thing, to the best of my knowledge—they expected the comics to sell X copies, and they didn't quite make it, so that was that. In the email they sent me, they emphasized that it was not a question of the quality of my writing, or how they were being received. I don't really know any more than that, unfortunately. Yeah, I have no idea how they calculate anticipated sales or anything. But I guess S11 just didn't hit the expected targets.

Mordo/StephanFS: What else do you write Ted? If you were to work on something original, what would it be?

Ted: I still do write for MLP, actually. I've got a three-issue miniseries starting next month. Plus I've got a couple creator-owned series: Moth & Whisper and Orphan Age. The trade collection of M&W comes out next week, and the first issue of Orphan Age came out this week. I have a lot more original stuff in the works, too. Not a lot of it is like AT, to be honest. I don't tend to write stories that are so .... weird? Nothing against weird! Obviously! But it's just not the kind of stories I tend to come up with. M&W is a cyberpunk heist thriller thing, and Orphan Age is a post-apocalyptic western.

That’s all for now. If you like Ted Anderson’s work, be sure to check out Moth & Whisper and Orphan Age. Catch them on ComiXology or wherever you get your comics.

Farewell for now!

[lanamemories]

crash lands a giant animatronic john travolta (wild hogs era complete w a receding hairline n leather jacket) onto the dash n dismounts frm his back without any explanation as to my vehicle...... helo........ nw tht i’ve made the world’s most unsettling entrance i wil? introduce myself. i’m nai n i’m 23 n live in Manchestoh (typed w a fitting n blood curdlingly british accent). my pronouns r she/her n i currently want a pet baby yoda i can feed strawberries to n tuck into a tiny baby yoda sized bed. anyway. lana’s pinterest can b found HERE n more abt her is under the cut!!

KRISTINE FROSETH / CIS-FEMALE — don’t look now, but is that lana jameson i see? the 21 year old dance student is in their sophomore year and she is a rochester alum. i hear they can be exuberant, alluring, childish and impulsive, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet she will make a name for themselves living in murphy’s beach homes. ( nai. 23. gmt. she/her. )

aesthetics: scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out into a cold breeze in just spaghetti strapped silk, a red lightening stripe painted over your eye like a new take on the scarlet letter, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off the bruised cap, doodling penises in condensation instead of sitting still, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, playing where’s waldo with your lipstick in the crowd of a party and finding red smudges on at least six people’s mouths, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open.

BACKGROUND:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him. jst a leetle bit Fractured in its intentions.

anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door

(dissociation tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents including a military father tht he found suffocating)

SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x

(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in and out of hospital twice nw n he’s currently dipped off the radar after starting to use. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her. she doesn’t talk abt this tho. when she feels the urge to cry she usually jst smiles

ANYWAY whew tht rly…. took a dark turn there….. chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of… almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched

(violence tw) a mre recent point of history is her involvement w danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine who is possibly the antichrist??? pending investigation). he attended lockwood n lived in a house w a group of other guys. it wsn’t a registered frat bt he essentially…ran it like one it ws kind of a weird set-up where he ws the King Of The Roost. essentially he found out tht lana n zeke van doren (full name it’s official business Babey) slept together n he ended up beating him to near death in front of her bc his pride ws rly bruised since they were meant to be dating (if u can call it tht bc danny’s idea of dating is very Warped). ANYWAY he ws found guilty n sent dwn bt the trial ws only recent so. it was just intense all around. crosses my fingers across my chest to ward off his Evil

PERSONALITY:

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

PLOTS:

exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. worlds our oyster fellas!

[kates-sweet-escape]

For the longest time  [ HW | F ]

pairing: Hyungwon X Reader (Gender neutral)

genre: Fluff

word count: 3.8k

summary: You and Hyungwon have been friends for the longest time. But a night out in Seoul might change that forever. 

cover: Made by me. Picture credit to Naver Dispatch.

song: “Jealousy” by Monsta X

lyrics:  “There is nothing between us. So what is this? Why do you keep getting on my nerves?”

“You’re aware of the fact that you’re being extremely petty right now?” You almost had to scream at the top of your lungs to make your voice heard over the loud music that was blasting from the huge high-end speakers. You were in one of Seoul’s hottest nightclubs to party. Because you had something to celebrate. Your best friend’s first gig as a DJ. But instead of dancing the night away to the songs that Hyungwon was mixing so perfectly, you’d somehow gotten yourself caught up in this mess.  

You looked at Minhyuk who was standing right in front of you being way too close for comfort. You’d been friends with Minhyuk for a while now, but this… You could clearly see the barely visible pink highlights in his grey contact lenses. Even in the dimmed lights that were illuminating the bar right next to the dance floor. That’s how close he was. And if you hadn’t been that used to Minhyuk completely ignoring your personal space, you might have really felt uncomfortable.

He looked at you with a stern expression on his face before he nodded. “Yes. 100%.”

So he was serious. Great. “Then why do you-”

“Because that’s the only way Jihye will realize that she has done something wrong.” Minhyuk looked over his shoulder and towards the VIP booth across from the dancefloor where you had been seated upon entering the club with Hyungwon. Jihye was sitting at the table surrounded by Hoseok, Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Usually she loved all the attention. But today she didn’t seem too happy about it. Her big brown eyes were transfixed on Minhyuk, not minding Kihyun at all who seemed to be talking to her. Her expression had hardened, making her look almost angry as she was watching Minhyuk very closely. You shouldn’t take part in any of it. You weren’t on good terms with Jihye to begin with. You should just pull out of this whole show that Minhyuk was putting on for her to see. And not only because this was childish and stupid. But also because you knew what it felt like to be eaten alive by jealousy.

Minhyuk smiled a little before he leaned in a little further towards you, making you able to clearly smell the cologne he was wearing. “She’s looking this way. Laugh. Like I said something funny.”

You scoffed as you saw Jihye clenching her jaw. This was just ridiculous. “I don’t think you’re very funny.”

“Well, that’s because you have a rotten sense of humor.” Minhyuk pouted a little, fully aware of the fact that you were weak to him playing cute. “Come on Y/N. Please!”

“Minhyuk, this is insane.” Yet you still faked a laugh, even placing your hand on his shoulder just to really help him with his little charade. You were definitely way too smitten with that guy. “You're both grown-ups. Just talk it out for Christ’s sake.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried that already?” Minhyuk, who was known for being a tease, took your hand from his shoulder and held it for a lot longer than he should have. “I did. Countless times. But this is the only way she’ll even notice that I am angry about something. You know how she is.”

Yeah, you knew. That’s why you shouldn’t get involved in this. Because that woman was borderline crazy. You sneaked a peak towards the booth. Jihye looked really angry, her plush lips pressed together into a small line. You let go of Minhyuk's hand and took a small step back. That should do the trick.

Jihye and Minhyuk where the kind of couple that you’d seen in countless movies. They were always fighting. And if they weren’t fighting, they were in the process of making up. At first, you’d thought that it was kind of funny. But after two years with front row seats to all their drama, you were just tired of it all.

“Gosh. How are the two of you even still together?”

Minhyuk smirked a little, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Dedication. Loyalty. And lots of-”

“If you want me to play along, you better not finish that sentence.”

“Love.” He giggled a little. “And lots of love, Y/N.”

You clicked your tongue in annoyance. You knew what he’d really meant to say. You’d been friends with him for long enough to know what was going on in that funny little brain of his. “You’re the worst.”

You were looking for the bartender who’d taken your order a while ago, but since this place was packed, it seemed like you’d still have to wait for a little longer to get your drinks. You’d wanted to go alone, but Minhyuk had tagged along. And now you knew exactly why. Gosh, you wished that Jooheon hadn’t been busy tonight. Then you wouldn’t have to play the decoy. Those two were usually flirting with each other anyway. But since he was caught up at work, you’d just have to play Minhyuk’s flirt of choice.

Great. Just great.

Minhyuk let out a deep and drawn out sigh. “Don’t you think I feel pathetic for doing this? Because trust me, I do. And I know that you don’t like her an-”

“What are you two talking about?”

You were glad that the loud music completely swallowed up the loud yelp of surprise you’d let out. “Changkyun!” You pressed your hand against your heart that was beating rapidly inside your chest as you looked towards the youngest of the group. He was rocking a pair of round glasses, black nail polish and a man bun. “Hell, don’t ever do that again!”

“Do what again?” You were met with Changkyun’s usual expression of faked innocence that just gave away the fact that he’d done this on purpose just to annoy you.

“Creeping up on me like that!” You hated being surprised. Which was exactly why Changkyun had done it in the first place. That little bastard. Why were you friends with him again? Oh yeah, right. Because you adored all of Hyungwon’s friends. “Make a noise if you move, would you? You’re not a friggin’ cat.”

“I make plenty of noise. You just can’t hear it because of the loud music.” Changkyun smiled at you smugly before pointing towards the DJ booth where Hyungwon was playing one amazing set after the other. “By the way, is it just me, or is Hyungwon on fire tonight?”

“You bet your ass he is.” Minhyuk let out an impressed whistle and you couldn��t help to feel an immense amount of pride as you watched the crowd cry out in approval upon the smooth song transition that you knew Hyungwon pulled off effortlessly. “Those beat drops and song transitions? The crowd is going nuts over them.”

You looked at Hyungwon who was staring down towards his DJ gear. He seemed to be lost in his own little world again, with those giant headphones dangling from his neck. He was wearing a black T-Shirt and his hair had this surreal silver color you’d helped him apply in the bathroom only a few hours ago. He looked up at the crowd again before he initiated another beat drop, jumping up and down with them as it kicked in.

Seeing him like this, at the DJ booth, working diligently while the crowd went wild over what he did, was still foreign to you.

It was like he wasn’t Hyungwon anymore. It was like he’d completely transformed into H.One. And even though you hated to admit it, you kind of liked it. Because you knew how much he loved this. How much his music meant to him. You’d talked about it with him countless times whenever he came over to your apartment to show you a new song. You would both lie on the floor, right next to one another, and just listen to it in the silence of your apartment.

And those moments were some of your most treasured memories.

You smiled as Hyungwon suddenly looked up and your eyes met for a few seconds over the large crowd that was separating you from him.

He was looking right into your eyes. You still needed to get used to this new look with the blue eyes and the silver hair. But no matter which colored lenses he wore or what hairstyle he was having you’d always be able to recognize him straight away. Because he would always be your best friend Hyungwon. And nothing would ever change that.

You really shouldn’t stare at him for this long. People would misunderstand. So you nodded at Hyungwon one final time before you refocused on your conversation with Minhyuk and Changkyun. “I told you guys that he’s that good.”

“How were we supposed to know?” Minhyuk sounded a little offended. “He never talks about his music.”

Changkyun cocked up his eyebrow before looking at you intensely, which you chose to ignore. “Well with us he doesn’t”

“And we are his roommates.” Minhyuk narrowed his eyes but his lips were still showing a hint of that proud smile he’d had on his lips ever since Hyungwon had told them about this gig. “That little traitor.”

Okay, that was enough. You turned towards Minhyuk. “First of all, he’s taller than you, Minhyuk. So you shouldn’t call him little.”

“But-”

“And second of all, are you really surprised that he doesn’t want to talk about his music with any of you?” Because you sure as hell weren’t. You loved these idiots to bits, but they could be a real pain in the ass. “You always tease him for being a DJ.”

“No, we don’t.”

“You do.” You’d seen it for yourself on multiple occasions. And you were so over it by now. Hyungwon wasn’t like all those countless college kids that thought of themselves as the next David Guetta just because they had seen some DJ Youtube tutorial once. No, Hyungwon had actual skill. “And I swear to God if I ever hear any of you call him H. Aoki ever again, I’m gonna start throwing punches.”

“You know, Y/N” Changkyun was looking towards the DJ booth before suddenly leaning into you, his lips brushing over your earlobe as he started speaking again. “You’re kinda hot when you get angry about something.”

You rolled your eyes, completely unfazed by any of it. Changkyun was as much of a tease as Minhyuk was, flirting left and right wherever he went. You’d seen him have countless flings in the past. With men and women. So you knew he was only playing around to annoy you. Because if Changkyun had really wanted to flirt with you, he’d be a lot smoother about it.

You shoved him and Changkyun let out a dry laugh as he stumbled backwards, only missing some poor fella by a mere inch.

“Shut up, Kyun. Seriously.” You felt a light tap on your shoulder and turned around towards the bartender who’d finally gotten your order ready. You reached for your money, but Minhyuk was a lot faster, handing the guy a 50.000 Won bill before picking up Jihye’s martini and Hoseok's coke and his own vodka-energy and heading towards your booth.

In the corner of your eye you could already see how Changkyun tried to escape, but you grabbed him by the ear and dragged him towards the bar. “You aren’t going anywhere.” You nodded in Hyungwon’s direction before handing Changkyun the water you’d ordered for him. “Bring him his water.”

Changkyun let out a deep sigh, but he took the glass of water off the counter before grabbing his beer. “You know that I’m not your slave, right?”

“You're the youngest,” you said with a smirk on your face as you picked up the rest of the drinks, including your own. “That’s basically the same as being a slave.”

“Can’t you give him his water?” Changkyun glanced nervously towards the DJ booth. “I don’t wanna get close to him right now.”

“What?” Something was seriously wrong with this kid.

Changkyun bit down on his lower lip, looking a lot less tough even though the tattoos on the side of his neck usually made him seem like a total badass. But when it came to his hyungs he was really just a nervous mess sometimes. “He might kill me.”

“Why?” You laughed a little. It was always fun to watch the guys putting Changkyun in his place. God knew that cocky kid desperately needed it. “Did you tease him again?”

Changkyun looked at you in utter disbelief before he started giggling like a preschooler. “Wow. You’re so dense.”

“What?!”

Changkyun took a huge step forward. “See you later, Y/N!”

“No! Hey, Kyun! What are you talking about?” You stretched out your hand to grab him by the collar, but Changkyun was already out of reach, sticking out his tongue as he disappeared within the crowd.

“The show tonight was really great. The crowd loved you.”

“Mh.” Hyungwon seemed to be completely lost in thought as he was walking right beside you. He’d been oddly quiet ever since you’d said goodbye to the others at the club. They’d stayed behind because they’d still wanted to keep on partying but you’d been tired. Work had been tough lately. So you’d been grateful when Hyungwon had suddenly shown up at the booth, telling you that he wanted to leave because his gig had just ended. And since it had kind of become a tradition that he’d walk you home after a night out, usually taking you on a little stroll around town to sober up a bit while talking to you, you’d left with him immediately without thinking twice.

But now you were kind of second-guessing that decision. Maybe you should have gotten a cab instead. It would have been a lot less frustrating. And a lot less awkward.

“What did the manager say?” You tried your best to keep the conversation going. If you could even call it that. Because it was mainly just you babbling on and on while Hyungwon kept his mouth shut. “Will you be able to have a gig there again?”

“Mh.”

Slowly you were starting to get angry. At least you’d be home in a matter of minutes. “I bet he’s gonna make you a regular in no time. He’d be a bloody idiot if he didn’t.”

“Mhm.”

Your apartment door finally came in sight and you let out an annoyed sigh. You’ve been friends with Hyungwon for over 6 years now, meeting him in your first year of college and becoming best friends in a matter of months. And in all those years, you’d never felt uncomfortable around him. Until tonight.

There had never been that much awkward silence between the two of you. And you hated it. But there was nothing you could do about it. Because apparently, Hyungwon had just chosen to act like an utter idiot tonight. Maybe his first big gig had already gotten to his head. Or maybe he just didn’t feel like talking to you. But whatever was going on with him tonight, you sure as hell weren’t having any of it.

“You know if you don’t feel like talking just say so, instead of acting like a complete prick.” You came to a halt in front of your apartment, eyeing Hyungwon who finally seemed to actually look at you for the first time ever since you’d left the club. “Newsflash: I don’t need you to walk me home. I’m a grown up and more than capable of protecting myself.” You could see him clenching his jaw in anger, but you didn’t care. You were just as angry as him. Maybe even a little angrier. You’d looked forward to him taking you home. You liked those little late night strolls you shared because that was the only time you actually had him all to yourself. Where you could openly and freely talk to him. But he’d taken that away from you by acting this way. Which made you furious. “So next time you don’t have to force yourself to come along.”

“Oh give me a break.” Hyungwon narrowed his large eyes, the cold and angry stare sending shivers down your spine. But you weren’t backing down. Not this time. “I didn’t force myself to come along and you know it.”

“Do I? Because you’ve given me the silent treatment for the past thirty minutes and I don’t even know why.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Care to explain now?”

Hyungwon opened his mouth, almost as if he wanted to start talking, but after a few seconds, he shut it again, staying as silent as he had been for the past thirty minutes.

You’ve seriously had enough of this. “Goodnight, Hyungwon.”

You turned his back on him, punching in the code to your apartment with so much force that you feared you might break the number pad. But you just couldn’t get yourself to care. You were still way too angry to focus on anything else.

You opened your door as soon as it was unlocked but just as you wanted to step inside your dark little hallway, you were shoved forwards, struggling to stay on your feet as you stumbled inside.

“What the hell?” You looked back at Hyungwon who was coming in right behind you before he closed the door with a loud thud. “I don’t remember inviting you in.”

He didn’t seem to care much for your words because he didn’t make any move to leave. He even had the nerve to take off his leather jacket. “This isn’t over.”

“Oh, I beg to differ.” You pointed towards the door while taking off your shoes. Right now you really didn’t want to see his face any longer than absolutely necessary. “I have nothing more to say to you.”

Hyungwon grabbed a hold of your wrist as you tried to get away from him. “But I do.”

“Well, you could have said it on the way here.” You scoffed. “It’s four in the morning. Just-”

“Why the f*ck was he standing so close to you?”

Hyungwon’s sudden outburst of anger left you speechless. You’d never heard him raise his voice. At least not towards you. But now he was looking at you, with a fire in his eyes that you feared could be used for mass destruction. He was obviously really angry. And you had no idea why.

“What? Hyungwon, you aren’t making any sense right now.”

“Minhyuk.” Hyungwon suddenly took a huge step towards you, his chest almost touching yours as he looked down at you, his eyes not leaving yours. “He was this close to you, wasn’t he?”

Suddenly you had trouble breathing. Since when was it that hot in your apartment? Was the AC broken?

“I…” You stopped, unable to focus on anything but the distinctive smell of his cologne and the warmth of his body. “Could you take a step back?”

“Why? You seemed to be pretty comfortable with the other guys coming that close to you. Changkyun too.” Hyungwon snarled. You’d never seen him like this before. “He was even closer to you, right?” He took another step towards you, his hand grabbing you by the waist as you tried to take a step back. “Like this.” He leaned in even further, making your head spin with the feeling of his lips touching your ear. You could feel his breath on your skin. “I could see his lips touching your ear.”

“Hyungwon, stop.” You placed your hands on his chest, pushing him back a little. You had a hard time forming coherent sentences. You’d had a crush on him since day one, but since you’d become friends you’d always suppressed it. But having him this close to you wasn’t really helping. Quite the contrary. It was dragging all your pent-up feeling right back to the surface. Which was very, very dangerous to say the least. “What’s gotten into you? They were just messing around and you know it.”

Hyungwon shook his head, his fingers digging into your clothes even harder. “No, I don’t. And you shouldn’t just assume that either.”

“Minhyuk is in a relationship.”

“But Changkyun isn’t. So you shouldn’t let him this close to you.” You couldn't believe your ears. Did he really just say that? “That kid might misunderstand.”

Your brain didn’t seem to be able to focus on anything Hyungwon said, so you just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “That kid is only two years younger than you.”

By the way Hyungwon’s expression hardened, you knew that you’d said something terribly wrong.

Hyungwon’s voice sounded more like an angry growl than anything else. “You really shouldn’t take his side right now.”

“Seriously, what has gotten into you?” You tried to push him away but he just wouldn’t budge. He used to be a paper doll! What the hell was going on right now? “You’re acting really weird right now. If I didn’t knew any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”

Your words were followed by a heavy silence. You couldn’t possibly be right about this. That would be just ridiculous. Hyungwon wasn’t-

Hyungwon suddenly started speaking again. “What if I were?”

You could feel your heart sink in your chest. Was this some sick joke? Some prank that he pulled on you? “This isn’t funny.”

“Do you see me laughing?” He sounded dead serious. And just by your heart rate suddenly increasing, you knew you were in serious trouble.

Okay. Time to reason with him. And with that stupid heart of yours. “Hyungwon, we’re friends.”

“What if I don’t want to be just friends anymore? What if I want to be more than that?” Hyungwon suddenly lowered his voice. Now he was almost whispering. “What if I want to be able to be this close to you whenever I damn well please?” He came closer again, his nose brushing against yours as he was staring straight into your eyes, not even budging an inch. “What if I want to have the right to tell those two idiots off, when they’re too close to you again?”

Your brain had a hard time processing his words. “Why would you want that?”

“Because I like you, Y/N.” Hyungwon didn’t even flinch as he said those words that you’d secretly wanted to hear since the first day you’d met him. “And I have liked you for a very long time.” His lips brushed over your cheek ever so slightly, making your head spin and your stomach clench with anticipation. His next words shattered your friendship into a million little pieces while at the same time they opened the door to a whole new world of possibilities you’d always thought of as being tightly shut.

“So what do you say? Should we stop this little game now? Because I’ve been waiting for you to be mine for the longest time.”

[someobscurereference]

I just started to start studying for my GMAT for business school and I have SO MANY creative hobbies (not necessarily writing, but more so on the art/drawing/crafting side). In undergrad I did the dumb (but fruitful!) thing to give up all my hobbies (gaming too!) for good grades. I don't want that. Now that I've graduated, I have full time work and now this new self studying. I don't want to throw away more hobbies again. How do you balance work/life/hobby/school?

This is a difficult question, but I’ll try my best to help! (Though it should be noted that I’ve also been doing wayyy less writing than I would like to be doing lately because of the new additions of an internship, independent study project, and a part time job on top of my regular school schedule and thus just don’t have the time or energy to write most of the time lately. I should also be studying for the GRE and I haven’t started yet. So nobody is perfect, and I also should be taken with a grain of salt.)

However! You really don’t need to throw out 100% of your hobbies and things you enjoy to do well in school. I played video games, crocheted, and wrote fic during my previous semesters of university while still maintaining pretty good grades overall. It’s more about balance than throwing hobbies away outright. Actually, I really would recommend you don’t do that. Keep things that make you happy. Your overall mood and head space will be a lot better if you do. There were definitely days I could have gotten farther ahead in my work if I had studied but chose to make a doll or write a fic instead. But there were also times where I didn’t do either of those things for a week or more at a time because it was Crunch Time and I just couldn’t afford that. But I always came back to those things, and my grades were just fine in the end.

A full-time job is eating up most of your time already, I assume. And then you maybe come home and study for the GMAT after work every night.  Plus cooking, cleaning, errands, friend/family invites, etc. Which probably doesn’t leave you with a ton of hobby/personal time at the end of the day, usually. Or so I’m presuming after watching my friend study for the MCAT for the past few months. But at the end of the day, balance is really important. It doesn’t have to be 100% studying or 100% hobbies. You’re going to have to actively carve times for both out for yourself, but it’s worth it.

Work is maybe unavoidable since those hours are probably pretty set. Plus you need to pay bills. But unless your test is literally next month, it’s probably a good idea to carve out a little more personal time than you are already. Because “me” time is super necessary! There needs to be time in your week where you sit and unwind a little. And if you unwind through creative hobbies and this isn’t a separate time you have to book for yourself, all the better! (I’m the type of person whose unwind time and whose creative time are two different things. Everyone works differently. If this is you also, that’s alright.)

So if you’re studying 7 days out of the week already, I would suggest making making that 5 or 6 days instead. Or however your schedule is setup. If you feel you can’t drop a day entirely, maybe halving your time on a certain day may help. (For example, studying for an extra hour on Saturday so you have extra time Sunday or Monday evening for you.) Taking a handful of hours (or even a day, if that’s your break day or something) can feel detrimental to your GMAT score. But you’re theoretically studying a few months in advance already. And you’re also going to get super burnt out if you do nothing but work and study all the time. I’ve been watching my MCAT friend go through the same thing. It’s miserable. Even if there’s an hour here or there you could theoretically spend studying rather than in front of the TV or with some paint or whatever you do for fun, your study habits are going to be way less effective and you’re going to retain way less if you feel like garbage because you never do anything you enjoy either.

Even if you’re not the schedule type, I would recommend making a schedule. Break your life down by day. What time is for work? What time is for studying? What errands do you need done this week? (That last one can be a sticky note next the schedule or something. You don’t have to say “laundry = 1 hour” or anything. This is just a reminder.)

Block these times off. Now you have your study time. Example: “Monday, 7AM to 5PM. Work.  7PM to 10PM. Study time.” Remember to give yourself time to catch dinner after work and whatnot in there. Set this schedule out according to your work and study needs. Look at where you could theoretically have Hobby Time. 

Maybe your schedule doesn’t have to be that specific. My personal schedule is just a series of sticky notes that looks like:

Monday

Conversation HW

Lesson Plans (add Japanese and Print)

Teach English

Tuesday

Print Presentation Handouts

Finish Presentation

Reading HW

Etc.

These aren’t necessarily all things I do on Monday or Tuesday. These are things due by Monday and Tuesday. (Except for work, which is the day of). This is my reminder that I need to have these things done before Monday morning or else I’ve missed my deadline. And I have subsequent lists underneath that for Wednesday, Thursday, etc. Your schedule maybe has more specific times. Maybe it has weekly deadlines instead of daily. Your schedule doesn’t have to look like this. It should fit you and your needs. 

Life is busy and hectic. It’s easy to get swept up in it and say you have no time for your hobbies, especially if you have more than one. The most difficult part is carving time out for yourself. But it’s also the most rewarding and beneficial. 

And if there are days or times where you could theoretically be studying or doing a hobby but you’re just too tired, it’s okay to take a break. Your energy is finite. Don’t overextend yourself either. Just don’t let yourself get caught up in the easy cycle of putting off doing a hobby for the tenth time in a row either. I have trouble getting started writing after it’s been a while, but I also know it’s way easier once I force myself to just start.

One last note: If you really have “SO MANY” hobbies (not just 1 or 2), keep in mind that you may not be able to do them all as frequently as you’d like at the moment. Maybe pick one or two to focus on every week or two. Or cycle through them on a regular basis. Whatever works best for you. (For example, I haven’t crocheted anything in forever. But that’s the most time consuming hobby I have, and I like writing way more. So when my limited hobby time is available, I tend to pick writing more often. When I return to the US, I’ll probably pick up crochet again). If you’re trying to go through 5 different hobbies in the same week, that’s going to be really difficult. Pick one hobby and do a different hobby next week.

The GMAT isn’t forever! You won’t be studying for the rest of your life, thank goodness. I mean, when you get into graduate school, you’ll still be studying, yeah. But not for the GMAT. So hopefully that’ll be easier and you’ll get just a bit more breathing room then. Until then, be strong!

Good luck on your test! I know I talked a lot, but I hope this helps!

tl;dr I’d really recommend setting a weekly schedule for yourself and sticking by it because otherwise it’s way too easy to just let time slip by. You have to actively carve time out for your hobbies.

[forgettinggirlinterrpted]

Sunday 5/6

My roommates name is Shauna. She doesn’t flush and when I got here there was what I can only assume were soiled clothes in a brown paper bag. 

A woman in the hall is also talking about her shit. I’m the youngest person here and im afraid to shower, there’s no door. The poop lady is cackling. 

My roommate and I talked, she’s nice, and I met her night nurse and she is so nice. Her name is Maria. 

I’m having a hard time figuring out why I feel like this. Its hard b/c I’ve been hungover but surely that’s not all it is. How do you recover from a hangover so bad you end up in a psych ward?

It weird not having my phone, I want to check twitter. I don’t want to go to group therapy tomorrow. 

I just can’t stop crying, my eyes actually hurt. 

My mouth tastes bad but I have no toothpaste. 

I started reading this book called notorious nineteen and it is truly trash. 

I don’t have the lights on bc Shauna’s sleeping- I feel like Mozart. 

My eyes hurt, I might go call my dad again to get my moms phone number. 

Ill be back. 

Got Taylor’s # and called her/my mom. Maria gave me some antihistamines to try to calm me down/sleep. 

My sisters want to come visit me on Tuesday. 

I’ve only eaten a donut this morning. 

There’s a painting of a window that is 100% mocking me. 

I’m sweaty. 

Some snaps I would be sending if I had my phone 

*a pic of the little card that was on my bed when I came in w/ a number on it for housekeeping. Caption idea- 

is this a joke?

It’s a work in progress. 

*def a snap of me whipping/nay naying to the woman whose been singing in the hall all night (singer)

Shauna is snoring. There’s no joke there but its absolutely worth noting. 

I just want to play candy crush. 

Monday

(12:30 pmish) I feel like I’m in a dream. I’ve been sleeping all day- it turns out it was only like 3 hours tops.

I had so many dreams. 

I just went and talked to a big ass table of doctors about my life and I just feel so groggy. They’re in there talking about me. 

I skipped lunch b/c my tummy hurt so bad after breakfast. 

Shauna puked everywhere. 

I think she’s leaving. 

Also turns out she’s in withdrawal AND pregnant. 

And she has an infected injection site on her arm. 

I just talked to my mom/dad/Taylor and asked them to bring me some books + shirts. 

The nice psychiatrist said she would give me some adavan to calm me down. Also I skipped lunch b/c my stomach hurt so bad from breakfast but now I’m hungry so I guess they’re gonna order me something. I feel so weird. (might have napped here)

4ish pm

40 mg stratera (sp?), one mg atavan. 

Finally left my room, I’ve been asleep all day. 

Nurse went and got me a coke + a water and I saw they’re watching forgetting Sarah Marshall so I thought Id join. Everyone called me out when I came in since ive been hiding out. Bitches. 

Movies suggested by the dude I’m watching FSM w/

- assassin’s creed

-Dogma

10 positive ways to describe myself

1. Legs that go up to my asshole

2. College educated

3. Big heart

4. Good sense of humor

5. Love babies

6. Love my friends 

7. Good communicator

8. Love the outside

9. Big smile

10. Lovely family

9 positive coping skills 

1. Talk to Taylor

2. Going on walks

3. Calling my parents

4. Reading

5. Going to therapy

6. Doing hw

7. Watching movies

8. Candy crush (questionable) 

9. Eating veggies

8 things I’ve accomplished 

1. College

2. Getting into grad school

3. Learning Spanish

4. Coming to the hospital

5. Making great friends

6. Moving a lot and making it through

7. Driving to SLC 

8. Supporting myself (for the most part)

7 healthy things I can do each day 

1. Eat well

2. Shower

3. Talk to my friends

4. Not drink

5. Clean my room

6. Clean my clothes

7. Do my hw

6 things I can change

1. My eating habits

2. Drinking

3. Exercising more

4. Getting a routine

5. Whitening my teeth

6. How I see myself

5 things I can’t change

1. How my family acts

2. How my friends act

3. The status of the US public school system

4. The amount of sunlight in my apt 

5. My face 

4 reasons I can’t give up

1. My family

2. I’m going to change the world

3. My friends

4. My future students

3 places I can get help

1. w/ dr. whose name I can’t remember 

2. my apt (Taylor)

3. the hospital 

2 people I can really trust

1. Taylor

2. my parents

1 reason I’m here

1. I need to not feel like this anymore

I’m holding myself back from asking why everyone’s here. 

Assassin’s creed guy, also known as biting guy (an inside joke from earlier) and sweater girl are talking about if the food delivery guy has extensions. 

We got called to dinner, now were finishing Sarah Marshall. 

Biter dude told hair guy “nice hair”.

Oh my god, when peter sings about how much he hates himself, biter and white shirt turned to me and said dang sounds like he’s going to be in the room next o me! way to be self aware guys! 

Just called my dad to find out about my stuff getting dropped off but turns out he did 2 hours ago and its all been in my room. 

I started crying immediately b/c Taylor is amazing- she brought me the perfect books. It was like she was talking to me through the books. 

She gave me b Franks autobiography and Jesse Donaldson’s ‘on homesickness’. And the book Amanda gave me. also wuthering heights and pastures of heaven. All so perfect. 

Shirts is roasting the shit out of double lasagna (he ate… double the lasagna we all got for dinner).

He keeps saying he looks like he’s about to give birth 

“I mean were already in the hospital we just gotta figure out what floor is maternity”

Wuthering Heights

1801- Mr. Lockwood +Heathcliff

Thrushcross Grange

Double lasagna is talking about the last time he had tequila- brother the last time I drank it I ended up here. 

What an anecdote. 

“they could have stolen my jewelry or even my virginity!” – about the guys who helped when he got too drunk. Double lasagna’s real name is * but he just introduced himself as Dorothy (to hair the night nurse helper). 

Fake Abby (biting guy came to my room thinking I was her) is here and shirt just said “you’re awfully quiet” and she rejected him hard. It was awk. 

One of the helpers is just chillin in here w/ us while I read my shitty book and we watch “just go w/ it” – its so bad. 

One of the nurses (pony tail) just made me go on a walk down the hall w/ him. They all keep asking me how I’m feeling and I keep saying fine but I’m not. As long as I don’t talk I don’t cry. I’m starting to think I want to stay here longer but also leave right away. Its all so confusing. 

Double lasagna just asked hair nurse if he could have his phone out of his bag and the way just looked up from his phone and said “nuh uh” was iconic. 

Its 805 pm and I think I’m going see about getting my sleeping pills so I can just crash. 

I need to document stuff better tomorrow b/c I don’t like how much of a blur today is. 

I finally showered and I feel better I think. I just don’t know what the move is once I get out. Like I don't know how to talk to anyone. 

I need Taylor to contact Morgan I think. 

I’m sure she’s confused. Or maybe she doesn't care literally at all.  Who cares. I’ve been surprised at how easily I’ve been sleeping today especially without my phone and with everything on my mind. 

I need a talk therapist like yesterday.

I can’t bring myself to get through any of the books Taylor brought. The 19 book in such trash but it’s easy to read.

 The shower needs to be pressed every 45 seconds to say on. I wore shower shoes.

 Fake Abby doesn’t know what the move is, I can tell.

I called Taylor + my mom then got snack in my night meds. I mom told me to call back to talk to Mack so I just did. She’s lovely. 

Double lasagna somehow talked to snack nurse into giving him a full sandwich. I got a strawberry poptart and a coke. 

They’re checking in a new girl now who looks a bit like she’s closer to my age. 

I’m happy she’s not my roommate. 

I think tomorrow ill try to call family/friends less and trust the process. I need to really take a step back. 

I’m just happy I feel comfortable sitting in the sun room. I knew a lot more about movies than they did 

Goals for tomorrow-

Check out group

Find rec room/sign my name by Mack’s 

Document everything

Keep room clean

They still haven’t cleaned Shauna’s side. Its off putting. 

Have I mentioned they check on me every 15 minutes? 

Its off putting also. 

I wish I had just like some mascara or something. I hate to be that girl but damn. 

My mom keeps trying to talk about the funny aspects of this but I can’t say I’m feeling them yet. Today just really was such a blur. I sept a lot then talked to therapists then I think went back to sleep? Then begged for lunch then I think slept? That’s where its fuzzy. Called my fam too much, I need to not tomorrow. 

I also want to gain control of tv room tomorrow. Power move!! 

Did I mention I called Chelsea? My brain is mush. 

- Be more present tomorrow-

- Ask more questions- 

be warned: new beginnings are rarely pure, and neither are the men who seek them

On Homesickness pg 23

Scott County

We are homesick most for the places we have never {truly} known

37, Franklin County 

Questions to Proteus -> how do I get home? 45, Montgomery County 

Tuesday 

7:10 am 

slept super hard but also had super vivid dreams. Mack and I talked about that last night. 

She said she had never brought it up. I was a little restless, prob just bc they were constantly opening my door and eventually just stopped closing it. 

I’m just trying to let go of control. I don’t want my phone back. I need to talk to someone about the insane anxiety I feel when I think about home back to the real world. 

Even just being in my apartment scares me b/c it feels like its full of negative energy. I need to focus on the good when I get out. 

I keep thinking about my phone bill and I can’t remember if I paid for internet. Also the maintenance light is still on in my car. 

Even though mom and dad are coming today I need to be communicating less w/ outside world. If I really want to be off the grid I need to really b alone with me thoughts and be okay with it. 

I kept feeling for my phone throughout the night. 

I wonder what the nurses think of me. do I seem different than everyone else?

I keep finding myself trying to relate to the nurses, esp. the young male one (hair) but what am I trying to prove? That I’m not like everyone here? 

Newsflash, asshole, I am 

(I’m the asshole)

I need a sharper pencil- do you think a lobotomy joke will be appropriate when I request one orr?

I wonder if Prather has texted me. I’m supposed to sub on the 21st. 

Yikes

Not looking forward to checking my bank account. I really spent a lot w/out giving a shit. It was freeing but I also haven’t worked in over a week + a half soooooo. 

On homesickness is so dramatic but I love it. Makes me think of Taylor. (bc home, not the drama)

Also I think I’m getting fucking sick. Or, according to Lula (Flula) in 19, I’m getting hospital cooties. 

7:27 am 

I’m in TV room w/ singer. I asked what we’re watching and she said “some kind of cartoon”. She’s not screaming which is awesome. I’m going to read Wuthering Heights. 

Almost 8 

Called dad and asked him to bring me a pair of readers since my eyes hurt. Nice nurse #2 is here again. She’s blonde. I haven’t seen Maria again. Met another nurse too. She was young. Also there’s a fake nurse (fake nurses are in teal, like hair, and he real ones are in blue) who I def. know. Cant figure out from where, maybe high school? Either way, not cool with it. Also, they sharpened my pencil. 

TIME TBD

Having a hard time focusing on reading. My eyes hut. 

I don’t like waiting around. 

Is it petty to point out inconsistencies in the rules? There’s different info on different sheets in the packet they gave us. Makes me wonder how closely these patients are reading it. Its all petty though, like whether or not we should take 5 or 10 minutes to use the phone or how many visitors we can have at a time. 

I know myself too well, ill be bringing it up. I’m going to check on breakfast. 

8:30ish

breakfast was sub par. Sat alone. New girl, sat w/ double lasagna. She only wanted milk so homeboy asked if he could eat hers! Has he learned nothing?? I ate pretty quick; I think I need to go back to sleep. I feel weird. 

Time-?

Dr.?? (nice psychiatrist) came in and we talked. Started fine but I got really upset b/c of how much I feel like garbage and I don’t now if I want to be here. But also I don’t want to go back to the real world. She left and I went to go get a visteral 25 mg b/c I’m so upset. They gave it to me and when I got back to my room I 100% had a panic attack. 

I felt like I was a kid again. Maybe its b/c I’m here but I’ve never been sure that what it was until now. They happened a lot as a kid and usually ended in my mom holding me and saying everything’s ok. Its so hard not having that now. I left my room and the med student from Sunday was in the hall and he came and talked to me until I calmed down. 

With talking to them I finally feel like I’ve been able to verbalize how anxious I feel here along with how I feel about leaving. I just need to rest my eyes for right now, but when I’m up I need to write down what Dr. B said about when I get out. 

I miss my parents. 

Time unknown

Honestly can’t remember what happened next. 

Social worker came in, she’s lovely. Talked a bit then I kept resting. 

She gave me some info on how to stay grounded during a panic attack. 

Then I think I went to the rec room to do a puzzle but then religion group started. I stuck around but then little dr came to get me and asked if I would meet with big table of doctors even though I hate it. 

I did it but it made me upset again. They said they would come talk to me but they haven’t. 

I fell asleep again then not Maria nurse came to tell me they’re gonna give me more adavan once my visteral wears off. Fell back asleep then got a drink/ate lunch.

My puzzle got hijacked so I brought a new one into my room. I hit a wall so I stopped to write all this down and go find out what they talked about it my meeting. 

I think its around 1 pm. 

2pm

Sat and watched how I met your mother for a little. Started crying. Asked a nurse when I was gonna get talked to when little doc came up. they gave me an adavan and now I’m waiting for him to come talk to me. the maid is making up Shauna’s old bed while I sit and cry. Very awk. 

I don’t know why I keep crying. I just feel like I’m going to keep having these attacks. I feel so hopeless. 

Still sitting here crying. Still no doctor. 

My name is Abigail and I am safe. I am in the present and I am safe. 

~505

lil doc came to talk to me and I got upset. I don’t understand what my next move is. 

Just slept pretty hard until now then got dinner. Going back to sleep is very tempting. 

I think I’m allowed another pill. What’s the point? 

6:50 pm 

I honestly don’t know what I’ve been doing since after dinner. I’ve been doing the puzzle in the TV room. I’ve been watching the office. I asked nice nurse if I could have another pill but she’s pretty sure she cane until its time for bed. My anxiety is pretty high right now my parents will be here in like an hour. 

7 pm

officially been hoarding pencils. They say I can have an atavan at 10 pm for bed, but they gave me a V. im wondering if that’s going to help me sleep. They’re going to put me on abilify on top of my startera. I’m hoping they’ll give me some of this visteril to take home in case I start to freak. 

Decided that in order to help me not get stressed I want someone to take my phone and ask me one by one about who texted/called/emailed and help me deal with it. Same w/ my bank statement. 

I want to say I feel better, but I don’t know. Its just all a blur. 

I want to see m parents so I can find out what the move is when I get out. Maybe a meeting with Andrea and social working and one of them would be cool. 

I don’t want to get out after Taylor leaves. Fuck.

Double lasagna and biter left. 

* is still here, and fake Abby is MIA. 

New girl who I don’t know 

New guy Brandon- wears vans 

And tad who Mack warned me about. Apparently he called 911 on the nurses from the phones. 

Bold move. 

Fake Abby and I are friends. I think she’s lonely, I know she wants to be my roommate, but I can’t deal with that. 

Now I just kill time until mom gets here. 

930 ish?

Mom and dad came and I feel a bit better. Mom and I did our crossword puzzle and dad and I figured out grad school. I also had him assure me I don’t need to worry about $ right now. 

I asked for a pen but they said no. but I STOLE ONE FROM MY DAD!! 

Honestly its low on ink but just having it feels great. 

Just called my mom and said goodnight to Mack. I feel ok. Mostly just shook b/c of how much of a dream this all feels like. But I’m ok. Time to crossword and eat my poptart like the star patient I am. And I’m gonna do it in god damn pen! 

Goals for tomorrow- 

- track when all meds taken

- get better at checking time 

8am

slept like shit. But I think I might go home today?! I’m sick so my head fucking hurts. I dontknow what to think. I just want to sleep in my own bed. 

11am 

talked to dr. B + some of the team and I think I’ll just stay another night. It was hard for me to think of what I wanted to b/c I just woke up. but she made a good point that if I’m sick and drowsy it could be good to stay since they’ll change the time I get the abilify. I don’t know. Just very tired. 

1109

Watching fresh prince. Thought there was gonna be group in here, but so far nothing. Fuck this. 

Fake Abby told shirt he looks like Carlton and no shit he kind of does. He deadass did the dance while he was walking out. He thinks side burns were cool. Now singer is singing Elvis songs. 

Newer girl is even scarier she’s very touchy. Seems like she doesn’t listen. 

singer is standing directly in front of the tv. She threatened to fire the nurse that told her to stop. 

Shirt is leaving today. 

New girl just came in and snatched the stuff out of singer’s hands and then tried to talk to everyone. Now singer is out for blood. New girl is wild. 

1140

going to lay in bed until lunch. 

~12

slept a little until lunch. Hamburger and a coke. 

I’m def staying another night. Thinking of some ideas for pickup since I need someone to go back to my apt w/ me. 

I think that’s the move. And then if its horrible I can try to stay somewhere else. I’m thinking of asking my sisters. Idk. Might call some of them now. 

I’m really just waiting to get something for my cough. 

215

just slept super hard

even denied taking my cough meds so I could sleep more

I finally got into the rec room and unsurprisingly it was a disappointment. 

Couldn’t find macks mark so I left. 

Gonna go try to get more crossword 

255

just called Chelsea, she said she would try to come over after work/talk to liv about doing the same. I just want to take a real shower. 

Crazy Tad just said hi to me. 

New girl (maid) is asleep sitting up, we’re watching that 70’s show. 

My shirt smells like Keenan. 

Also its almost snack! 

Hmmmmm 4? 

took a shower after smashing a poptart. The sheets they gave me to use as a bathmat smells like actual piss and shit- maybe I shouldn’t have wrapped myself in it. 

A little before 5

Slept again. Got woken up for dinner. It was ok. God I’m so fucking tired. 

I’m glad I’m writing everything down b/c its all such a blur. 

Cant remember if I already wrong down that I talked to chels. I want help meal prepping and doing some laundry. Also someone to sleep over. I want my own bed, but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want my phone. I don’t know what good anyone can do me right now until my meds get figured out. I don’t know!! 

I met my new nurse, DD, who said I’m taking my abilify in an hour. Then I want my sleeping pills so I can konk out, ugh. 

Time to lay down. Again. 

I think I fell asleep again?

Went to get my abilify around 615. Panic attack happened again. 

I can’t stop crying and I don’t want to be here anymore w/out talking to someone about all my regrets. 

I think more than anything I’m really disappointed with how this whole thing is going down. 

Just want to stop crying. 

830 pm

calmed down. Kind of okay w/ leaving but also so anxious. 

844

Singer has 12 different personalities. 

About to go ask for my meds/follow up on what’s up w/ the nurse’s research 

9ish 

Ate a poptart. Nurse was doing meds so she hasn’t looked into anything. Took 2 hydroxizines (50 mg) + a 3 mg melatonin. Called dad, still not a grad student. Very frustrating. Everything sucks but its ok bc I am Abigail Nash and I am safe in the present. I am not in the past. The present. And there are people that love me. 

Thursday 

- if… because then 

- one day at a time 

9 am?

Had breakfast, found out I’m going home today. 

Called mom + dad, and mom is gonna pick me up around 5 

2 more free meals! 

Getting a therapist is going to take a minute but I feel ok about it 

Nurse Nadine is so sweet. 

These people are getting the wildest thank you cards later. 

930

I’m going to get a watch 

I don’t like not always knowing the time 

That fucking short haired nurse came in again and gave me shit for being in my room

 Don’t know her name 

But I don’t want to 

I’m getting out here short haired lady! And I’m pulling out to win! 

I’m getting sleepy, fuck 

I have like 8 hours to kill 

Soooo

Suddenly now that I know I’m getting out I feel like some kind of bubble has been burst and I feel semi normal 

Am I really the Angelina Jolie of this place? Not actually Angelina, but her character from Girl Interrupted? 

She’s hot in that too, though.

Final thoughts for now- RIP Brittany Murphy. 

925

group- only going because nurse Nadine is leading it. 

Tad gave a very sweet little speech about his dad

Grabby girl wouldn’t share, she it nuts

But now miss congeniality is on!!

1055

cute rec therapist let me into the rec room. I wrote 

SCABZ

In big letters on the table, and made a picture frame. Also played ping pong with grabby. I’m not even going to go into how that went. 

Update: grabby thinks I’m her mom 

My best gift:

The gift of travel. Travel in the sense of moving, traveling to see a friend, or a friend traveling to see me. travel has allowed me to maintain friendships w/ people I usually wouldn’t. Another gift coming from travel is my best friend, Taylor who traveled to another state for school, where I met her. And the gift of going to visit my best friend in France a few years ago who I’ve known since I was 9. 

~~~~ when the party is at it’s best, it’s time to leave the party ~~~~ 

- Tad’s ex-father-in-law

almost noon 

Tad (ok turns out its not the Tad Mack was talking about) said some really good stuff in group and when he was talking about finding balance I said, “like the yin for your yang?” and he did not know what I was really talking about but it fit into the convo really well. So I started to draw him one and when it was over I gave it to him and he was really touched. I feel really good about it. It sucks I’m just now getting to go to group but I think my meds might be working b/c I haven’t gone back to sleep yet. 

Also, they said I could keep 19! 

I need to get some books together to donate. And some puzzles. 

After lunch 

Pulled pork. Singer change the channel on TV to cartoons. I see a nap in my future. Also brushing my teeth. 

There’s a new kid, he’s gotta be newly 18 b/c he looks young. 

Tried playing monopoly w/ Tad, maid, and new guy, but it devolved. 

Thought he was cute but he might be nuts (shocker)

I said he was welcome to my books and he looks a mans search for meaning and I’m about to leave so I don’t think im getting it back. 

Amanda wrote a nice note in it. That sucks. I gotta stop being so nice. 

I asked them to give me a visterile and they did. I should be ready to rock when mom gets here. 

430

did more painting- made a weird sign for door knobs. No sign of homeboy + my book. I kind of don’t want to leave, but I refuse to let myself have fomo in a place like this. Idk what the move is for my book. He better be reading it. I don’t want to leave before dinner so he can at least have a chance to say something to me about it. 

Tad is really fun to hang out w/. he is really nice. We talked about grounding during panic attacks and he invited me to play monopoly and we talked about how it sucks that we all just started talking to each other but that’s also prob just a sign that the meds are working. 

I saw he put my yin yang in the front of his journal. Very sweet. 

This isn’t to say he isn’t totally nuts. Also, young guy said my voice reminded me of “stuff” what the fuck. 

Grabber called me mom and tried to give me her hand. 

[astroellipse]

live blogging but it’s all one post and not actually live at all. this one is really long open at your own peril.

This has to be one of my favorite cutscenes in the game... I skipped most of the cutscenes in this questline with “Tsuyu” and whatever else went on because I don’t care for it, aside from some funny Asahi bits. And this cutscene is the KING of funny Asahi scenes, him just getting straight up murdered. It’s even funnier the second time around because now I realize... he was never actually acknowledged by Zenos. That was Elidibus controlling his body, simply using Asahi’s devotion for his own devices. And I realize now that Elidibus was trying to back up Emet-Selch’s own carefully laid plans, which... is something to keep in mind for later. I can’t wait to see more of Fandaniel later I love his/Asahi’s voice actor. And I know it’s fairly negative in this case but I can’t help but enjoy the campy villains...

And now I can finally stop skipping cutscenes! I realize I just now skipped the part where Alphinaud set out on his doomed journey to Garlemald, but... man I didn’t want to hear Gosetsu cry about Tsuyu I just hate that plot point so much. They really shoulda just let them die.

Oh my god I forgot that Gosetsu is bald now. I know it’s like a tradition thing and serious and everything but. Hhhh he looks so silly without it... Doesn’t help that it lets you see the outlines of all the polygons comprising his head...

Oh man I appear to have gotten events swapped around. Is it now that we see that energy source on the Azim Steppe? We’re about to go and put up that barrier in the Brume, which I’m pretty sure i thought came after ShB for whatever reason. I think I’ve mentioned it in a previous post... though that one I also think I deleted for an unrelated reason, I think because I was tired and got some details wrong and in my frustration and exhaustion threw the whole thing out. I’ll have to write down those particular thoughts again, after I see whatever it is that’s about to happen.

Oh man. i wonder if Hien doesn’t realize that Y’shtola is blind. They get to the Azim Steppe and he’s immediately like “Let me show you my favorite spot where you can see the pretty fields and sky :)” and she returns with “Yeah yeha okay let’s get on with what we came here to do”. Very funny. Actually Hien and Y’shtola are in general very funny together I like seeing him react to her talking to him like he’s an idiot.

So, the legend goes that a “wayfaring soul” came to the Steppe and received a sliver of Nhaama’s power in the form of a shard, and used it to cleft the earth and raise it to the heavens to avert calamity, then made an offering of blood. The sliver of power is Allagan technology, which was used to raise Azys Lla and create Dalamud. The dialogue has been very particular about referring to the person in this story as “wayfaring soul” and not shorter synonyms like “traveler”, which i think is probably deliberate? Especially with this now being the lead-up to ShB.

I guess now would be a good time to re-write some of my thoughts about the Steppe. It is not an original theory that Azim the god and Azem the ancient are related if not one in the same. They are both light, and related to travel. The WoL is expressly referred to as a traveler by Cirina’s grandmother, and iirc Azem is as well. Azim descended from the heavens to walk amongst his children, who are all nomadic. If they do have a relation, then the people of the Azim Steppe might be thought of as Azem’s people. I say this because I’ve been wondering why the Empire hasn’t touched the Azim Steppe, the real reason. The Xaela would make incredibly useful conscripts, and could be easily trounced by a suitably large magitek army during any one of their squabbles, or I’m sure the Empire could destabilize them in any other way. And that isn’t even to mention the large energy source hidden away in its cliffs, which have to be giving off some kind of signal. I wonder if the Empire ignoring the Steppe has anything to do with Solus and his sentiment for Azem.

I suppose I should actually get on with re-seeing this part, then.

God. I love y’shtola the bit with Magnai is so good. The voice acting. He sounds so hurt with his “Little...?”. “Look into my eyes” She’s blind you absolute dumbass.

Alright. Well. I didn’t actually gleam anything new. We’re about to go into the meeting sequence and. God. This is another one of my favorite cutscenes in the game. the visual effect used to represent the WoL’s soul being torn from their body is so cool... I wonder which outfit I should wear? I’ve changed all of them I think since uploading screenshots last. AST is cute and what I’ve been using for the last few quests to soak what little exp I can, but... this is a bit too serious for a cute healer in a skirt and glasses, plus the collar on the shirt would cover his face in some of the shots... DRG it is again then, I guess. It has sort of taken over as my primary class. I enjoy playing it more than BRD :\

“Let us hope that the coming meeting passes more peacably than the last such gathering in ala Mhigo” jfc Y’shtola. Hhhhhooooo here we go!!!!!!! Hhhhh I love Alisaie I remember this was the part that solidified her as precious little sister numero uno.... god... the scene where she gets taken away I’m already nearly tearing up I love Shadowbringers man holy shit.

Raha you dumbass!!!!! Endangering everyone like that. Literally takes five tries before he gets it right, and trying to explain everything while the WoL can’t rightly hear. I know he’s desperate but goddamn dude. Just. God. I’m so excited. I’m excited to see Urianger get to be an actual character again. I’m excited for the Scions to actually care about each other and especially the WoL. Also to see Doran grapple with these troubles as Secret did, finally finally learning why the hell he’s here, what Secret is and what he is, and... coming to terms with it. He was excited when it first happened, before his memory was sapped, mostly a product of being fused with Secret for so long without a will of his own, but... after experiencing all this, seeing these people as his friends. Learning to accept his place in the story much more easily than Secret...

There’s a reason I’ve kept the title “The Last Resort” on him. It’s for my own purposes. Secret has still not accepted that she as a person, though not her soul was created for the sole purpose of being a hero. If she can’t accept this in time... she might resort to letting Doran take the reins. Forfeiting her personhood altogether. This path would rely on unofficial lore about Fantasia, about how it warps reality to make it so that you were always this race or that... I might actually do it, too. I’ve done more things right with Doran, and I have friends on this server. I... suppose Secret would take Doran’s place in my personal narrative then. Which. Feels bad. Like a disservice to Secret, though... I suppose it doesn’t have to be. At this point Doran is still no less relevant to her. Secret will have simply gotten literally washed away with her memories.

I’m uh. Starting to think I might be too attached to Secret. The thought of having her not be my main character, of neglecting her in any way, of having to make this choice is. Making me genuinely emotional... though I suppose I’ve seen enough people on here talk about how they cry about ocs and whatnot.

Anyhow. I think I might change Doran’s hairstyle for Shadowbringers. might make it longer. It seems only appropriate, it having been so long... and something more elegant would be fitting. Maybe I’ll finally find and settle on an AST glam that is suitably pretty. I adore my current one for how cute it is but it doesn’t exactly fit ShB’s vibes.

Oh wait back to serious stuff. It’s funny that Lyse didn’t get called. G’raha explained it as the people closest to the WoL were called, and... for even Urianger to be called and not Lyse. It has funny implications.

MAN....... WHY does this game put Alisaie through so much :(((((((( Endwalker had BETTER give her and Alphinaud some damn good development like they implied. LET THE WoL BE THEIR OLDER SIBLING OR SOMETHING...... The WoL and Alphinaud were so good together during HW, and then them and Alisaie in this sequence and a few other scenes before now and during ShB but... it just doesn’t feel like it’s there during ShB, not with all the other adult characters around.

Granted I do this with every kid in this game. I saw Myste and even before I knew what their deal was it was just

this plays in my head every single time i see a kid. Let me adopt Unukalhai. Game. Game I am demanding now let the WoL care about others. That poor kid has just been sitting in the Solar for two entire expansions then some, and not even as a result of being a necessary quest npc stuck in a time bubble like Urianger’s double in the Waking Sands like he’s aware of what’s going on. I... actually imagine he might be relevant in Endwalker. Reaper comes with your very own voidsent, which means the void will be relevant again which might mean Unukalhai will be relevant!!! At the very least to the Reaper questline, if it has one.

Continuing the story again. Actually you know what LET THE WOL HUG THEIR FUCKING FRIENDS!!! It wouldn’t take THAT long to set it up for each different race which I assume is what keeps them from having the WoL physically interacting with much of anything but it would be SO GOOD!!! IT WOULD BE WORTH IT!!! I wanna give Alisaie a hug she’s suffering so much :(

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT’S HIM HIM HIM HIM IT’S EMET-SELCH FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! HELL YES I’VE BEEN WAITING!!!!!!!!!I forgot he was introduced here!!!!!!!!!!! It sounds like his voice actor hasn’t settled into his voice yet at this point though :0 And his theme!!! i love his theme I thought it was so weird at first but it’s fitting...

Oh my god did they not update Varis’s model since his debut? Look at this shit

Why are his pupils square... and blown up as it is on my screen it’s like... i can see individual splotches of color on his texture??? Incomparison Emet-Selch’s eyes are still sharp up close and instead of weird splotchy skin you can see individual pores. I just. Why. Didn’t they update him???

OH LMAO RIGHT AND THEN VARIS JUST SHOOTS HIM! GOD. And the FACE they have him make. Emet-Selch is such a good character.

Actually I’ve decided that Garleans are just ugly. I think that’s just it actually.

And then there’s... Black Rose, was it called? This would be confusing to see if you didn’t do those sidequests in Gyr Abania. Granted they were to unlock aether currents but I imagine plenty of people skipped them. This would have been a very abrupt introduction, and it loses relevance so soon after...

Hmm. With the story bringing back what I now realize are forgotten/resolved tidbits about the Empire, I can’t help but wonder if they’ll bring back the Optimates, what with us finally seeing the Garlemald in person in Endwalker. They would make for a good enough rival faction.

I have... changed Doran’s hair... it’s really just his old hairstyle but longer, the highlights are even in the same place though they’re fainter. He has gone through subtle changes between expansions. First I changed his lips to a darker color, flip flopping between not wearing lipgloss to a peach color then to as dark as you can get without wearing actual lipstick. Then I changed his eyebrows, still short but angled slightly downwards. And now his hair is long... the implication is that he’s let it grow out over time. It looks nice with most of his outfits, even plays nice with DRG’s hood, though as I expected my previous AST glam is a no-go. It actually looks cute from the front but it sticks right through them hem in the back and we can’t have that.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh may have just spent 800k gil on a nice shirt. On the bright side my AST glam is now just about as pretty as I can get it. I took the vibe I liked from the old one and now Doran’s a little... uh... maybe I shouldn’t have given him long hair.....

Ah shit I haven’t put together a GNB glam yet and I’m running low on funds... the only reason I could even afford that shirt was bc one of my fc members gave me and the only other guy that was on 1mil one night at random :| I really like the current glam but... it’s too cartoony for ShB!!!! hhhhhhhh Maybe I’ll be able to utilize some of the next Scion set once I get it...

hhh back to story... there’s this person in my FC that’s super talkative, but 56 and married and getting into over-sharing territory :| not like... weird oversharing but man I don’t need to know you get hives that was unprompted. Chill otherwise and it IS like 12 but wtv.

Aw man if that guy in the most recent trailer really was the twins’ dad then no wonder Alphinaud is out here looking to make any man who’s nice to him out as a father figure. There’s Estinien, Arenvald, now Gaius... and you might count Urianger and Thancred, and maybe the WoL.

Oh, Ascian lore! There’s a hierarchy. Red masks stand above black, already knew this. Those joined to the Source stand above those adrift in the shard. I don’t think I would have understood this the first time.

“A silent agent of death... Now that I think on it, Black Rose may well possess the perfect aspect.” I... is this him pondering whether this is how the Calamity will take shape, or deciding it?

Oh I really don’t like Varis’s voice acting. I’m glad he dies soon. Although, that “... It was by design!?” was pretty good. So is that information that Garlemald is an Ascian construction is absolutely hilarious, as is Emet-Selch toying with Varis.

OH. Emet-Selch has all these clones because Varis choose him as a test subject while messing around with Allagan cloning technology. I thought for some reason that the clones had been Emet-Selch’s doing.

“I’ve a feeling this won’t be the last time his bravery in the Empire will serve us here in Eorzea.” Said by Raubahn about Alphinaud setting back Black Rose production. Probably obvious foreshadowing for Endwalker.

Sharlyan... attempted to negotiate peace with the Empire? That’s not exactly surprising, though it is still new to me. Tucked in optional standing-around dialogue from Alisaie

Oh my GOD I hate Varis and his idiot hat. This scene is so uncomfortable and not just because I have to hear Varis speak. All of the city-state leaders act like monumental shitheads just to create tension and let Varis put them down it’s stupid. You idiots you’re supposed to be engaging in peace talks not venting about the Empire. Put aside your pride and play parley with the single most hated man in the world. It’s literally all just to stall for time, why would they do any of this. And oh my god, who even let Aymeric speak here. He brings up his stupid little battle with the dragons or his daddy issues at every opportunity. Yes yes we all played Heavensward but I can assure you it was not for its politics or message about war. Like yeah that whole ordeal ended terribly. We just killed the evil people/dragons and that was that. Solved purely through force.

Hhhh I forgot about this. That Varis AGREED with the Ascians. “There will be but one race--a perfect race--as we were when time began.” HHghghh. Oh right and he freely admits the bit about Garlemald being built by an Ascian.

Hm. Currently the Ascians’ plan is to bring about more Calamities which would be terrible and kill lots of people. Fandaniel... wants to kill everyone. I wonder how he accounts for the other shards. Wouldn’t it have made sense to at least try and work with his fellow Ascians? Either to round all up all the souls in one place before blowing it all to hell, or by sabotaging their plans and creating more situations like the one that created the Void. Or if decimating the Source would kill everyone anyways.

“Don’t you dare leave me alone.” ALISAIEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THIS PART! I HATE IT! DON’T TAKE HER AWAY THAT SCENE HURTS SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Taking a break to do my dailies for poetics bc I BARELY make the ilvl requirement for the next dungeon. anyhow. In this prae run there’s a Haurchefant look-alike called “Haurchefant Corpse”. He’s wearing a white suit and a halo, and is a scholar. I’m still laughing man wtf!!! Dude kinda sucks though he didn’t summon his fairy before the battle with Nero and only got out like two offensive spells lmao

Alright. Story again. G’RAHA. STOP BEING A CRYPTIC ASSHOLE!!! ALISAIE!!!!!!!!! HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I KNOW THEY REUNITE SOON BUT... HER REACHING FOR THE WoL... WHO LET THEM BOTH ONTO THE BATTLEFIELD!!!!! I’ll fucking cry man... this is cruel...

Oh my god I was looking to see if there were any story sidequests at this level i skipped the first time and saw that there IS story with Unukalhai that I haven’t seen, currently. Because I haven’t been able to do all of the savage trials with him... maybe once I get to 80 I’ll be able to convince someone to unsync them with me for first clears... the questline is called “Void Quests” too... Ah. To do this last questline you have to have ALSO done all the role quests. Good thing I’m leveling one of each currently lmao... wait. I don’t have a caster. I suppose I’ll have to level summoner on him after all...

“But no one is invincible, Doran. Not even you. So please, take care of yourself out there.” Foreshadowing of the WoL nearly getting merc’d on the battle field. Side note I had to look that up because I’ve been thinking of that word a lot lately. And now realize that it is not a real word but a gaming term? Also that it’s written like that. It comes from CoD4. Or. Actually. reading more I have no clue where it comes from though I did know it was in relation to mercenaries at its root even if its meaning doesn’t.

Ah... speaking of this is probably the last story bit I’m going to do before bed. Though. I... think this leads right into entering Norvrandt. Oh holy shit Doran’s forehead is so big now. he looks so goofy in this shot they took away his fucking eyebrows.

I’ve mostly been wearing his new AST glam since I changed his hair and that at least has glasses... and GNB wears a full-face mask and BRD has a half-face mask. But this. This looks like a lil bit silly ngl.

Ohhh I forgot you fight as Hien against Elidibus/Zenos... While waiting for the WoL to arrive. i love fighting as DRG against Zenos. Same reason as I enjoy using SMN. Fighting using the power of a beast, it’s fitting. Also goddammit G’raha... Why are you so stupid. My guy. Thank goodness Estinien is some kind of stalker because my god. Ohhhh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight it’s later you actually go to Norvrandt. Rn you just get a lil peek at G’raha. Again, waaaay too recognizable. Literally not even a secret.

Hhhgh... hearing Aymeric speak to the WoL.... they are Friends it is Cute. He like... actually tries, I realize. He makes it clear that he’s fond of the WoL past the obvious hero stuff. Godddddddd this is adorable... Aymeric is still an idiot but he is an incredibly endearring idiot. Ah... and Count edmont comes to visit too. His fatherly relationship with the WoL is adorable as well... I still remember their moment during the DRK questline.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggg and Tataru crying about seeing the WoL... fwiends... ShB is GOOD. And the WoL goes and kneels in front of her.. ghghhh

Ahh that WAS finally the end of the intermediate stuff. Oh my god I love this game. Jesus christ this is so good. And I finally got the new travelling outfit! Hopefully this’ll give me an idea for a GNB glam... I... can’t use the body piece cause it’s too gaudy but the others would work maybe.

Oh shit I finally lost my sprout too! I’m gonna stop writing now just gotta finish up some business...

[10verboy]

(@squishywonu i’m gonna try to write out of my comfort zone since ily and i really have nothing else to do with my spare time (besides working on hw bUT--) and wow this is so weird i can’t believe i’m writing about u

1,277 worDS HOLY GUACAMOLE that’s the most i’ve ever written at once i

warning!

there’s cursing :) oops 

i apologize in advance for whatever happens under the cut lmao

“Who’s the new girl?” Yuta asked as he chewed his sandwich.

Well...bread. It was just two slices of bread. Sicheng stole all of the turkey from it after Yuta got up to get a drink from the lunch line. He didn’t really care though.

 “That girl you bumped into in the hallway earlier?” Johnny guessed, more focused on the homework he was doing that was supposed to be due today. “We have, like, half of our classes with her.”

 “I’ve never seen her before?”

 Doyoung by now had just settled down in front of Yuta after getting out of the lunch line. Catching wind of the conversation, he butted in, “That’s because you don’t pay attention, dumbass. Madi literally was in your group for a project in bio. I remember because she came up to me trying to get me to tell you to actually do your project.”

 Yuta perked up. “So her name’s Madi?”

 The group of friends all collectively groaned, loud enough to hear over the busy cafeteria noise.

 “There she goes.” Sicheng looked up and nudged his head in the direction behind Yuta.

 “She’s sorta...cute” he thought, as he caught a glance of the girl before she disappeared out of the cafeteria. At least he thought he thought it. The boys’ teasing “oooh”s and giggles said otherwise.

 When the bell rung to dismiss lunch, Yuta and his friends got up and threw away their trash. Unlike the group of friends’ usual habit of walking ridiculously slow to their next class so they would make it the very last minute, Yuta sped walk, leaving everyone behind him. He was going to properly talk to Madi, and maybe even get her phone number.

  “Okay kids, pop quiz time,” announced Ms.Anston. “It’s based on what you learned these past 3 weeks. Hope you all studied...oh, and it’s 54 questions.”

  Shit.

  The bell rang signifying the end of the period and Yuta barely got his test done. While on his way sulking to his locker he was tackled by that one weird kid Jaehyun that no one talked to. Yuta guessed that he was under the impression that Yuta actually liked him, but he was in too bad of a mood to tell him off like usual and just shrugged him off. “Heyyyy, buddy! How was physics,” Jaehyun inquired.

 “Jung Jeffrey, can you please stop jumping on people like that? You’ll give him back problems,” Ten nagged, and turned his attention to the disappointed (and slightly annoyed) man that Jaehyun was currently getting off of. “But I guess physics sucked ass,” Ten continued, smirking like the little shit he was “,since there was a test last period and you wanted to talk to your little lady?”

 “How do you even know about that, I literally just--”

 “Johnny.”

 “Ah, yes, your boyfriend?”

 “Doyoung if you do noT SHUT THE HELL UP--”

 By now Yuta’s group of friends all were gathered in the middle of the hallway, ignoring the frustrated stares of their other peers and the cat fight that Doyoung and Ten were in the middle of.

 Taeyong started to question the crush-ridden boy. “So,” he continued, “you didn’t get the chance to talk to her?”

 “Nah, Ms. Anston wanted us to suffer with a 52 question test so…”

 “--Wait, we have a test,” Sicheng interrupted.

 “Winnie, I love you, but not now. So you didn’t even catch her after class?” Taeyong kept pushing for answers. Yuta was thankful for his legitimate concern. Every other one of his friends were probably planning when they could possibly embarrass him (especially Johnny and Doyoung...he did not trust those assholes one bit).

  “Um, Yuta?”

  The group of boys barely noticed the soft voice floating above the ruckus of the hall outside of the small circle they had formed.

   “Yuta?”

   A small hand crept onto the said boy’s shoulder. “Yuta!”

  When he finally turned around, the last person he expected to be calling his name was right in front of him. The girl that he was currently having a crisis over, Madi. Her hazel eyes sparkled as he looked at them, her brown hair perfectly falling around her face.

  In reality, her hair was was dishevelled and her eyes were squinted and soulless. Getting through a busy high school hallway is like being on some sort of survival show. Only the strong survive. However, Yuta could not properly process the actual state Madi was in. Too blinded by some type of attraction to her. Doyoung stopped in the middle of his petty attempts of insulting Ten, now distracted by the current interaction between them.

  “...yeah?”

    Judging by the snorts Yuta could here next to him from Johnny and Ten, the word ‘yeah’ did not come out right. Or he was making a stupid face that most-likely made him look like some constipated potato. Either way, Yuta was screwing up already and the conversation had barely started.

   Madi’s voice managed to snap him back to reality from planning his own death in his head. “Ms. Anston wanted me to bring you back to the classroom? I have no idea why but she said she wanted to talk to you and didn’t trust you enough to actually come if you were by yourself.”

  The only thing Yuta could manage to do was nod his head and follow her.

  A voice in the back of his head was urging him to start some type of conversation with the girl as she walked next to him in the hallway. The silence between the two was slowly driving him to madness and Yuta was pretty sure he would have jumped out of the nearby window by now if it wasn’t for some handsy couple that was making out in front of it.

  Madi turned around to face Yuta, now in front of their destination. The sudden stop caught the boy off guard, causing him to trip. Madi was now in his arms as he tried to keep from falling on her. The two stayed in the position until Madi talked again and pushed away.

  “Uh, so, we’re here. I’ll see you later…”

   Seeing this as his chance, Yuta popped the question he had been dying to ask, “Hey, can I get your number?”

  There was a moment of silence as Yuta waited for his answer.

  One second passed by…

  Then two…

  Then three…

   It really wasn’t that long a period of time, but it felt like an eternity to Yuta. Surely, this absence of a response meant that she was disgusted, weirded out, and overall just trying to comprehend why this dusty, crusty, musty boy with bad grades even dared asking such a thing.

  The silence really meant: Holy crap fucking Nakamoto Yuta, A.K.A the hottest fucking dude I’ve ever seen, just asked for my number. But he did not know that.

   “Yeah,” Madi finally squeaked. The two exchanged their phone numbers awkwardly, Madi almost dropping her phone (twice) while trying to enter Yuta into her phone.

   “I’ll text you after school then~” Yuta winked, in an obviously better mood than he was on the way to the classroom. The sentence seemed more like a statement than a suggestion to Madi, but she couldn’t have care less. She was looking forward to having a decent conversation with the boy, contrary to the conversations they had when they worked on their biology project together. If you could even categorize them as conversations. It was really just Madi trying to ask him questions as he played games on his phone in the middle of class when they were supposed to be working (she ended up doing the whole project herself).

end :) i didn’t even bother to edit any of this so :)) i’m sorry :)) about any :))) mistakes :)))))

that ended sO ABRUPTLY so here’s a bonus part of them texting each other 

Yuta: heeeeyyy :)

Madi: hi

Yuta: did u miss me??

Madi: um                                                                        

we just saw each other an hour ago

Yuta: wow ok I see i kno when i’m not wanted

Madi: nO i just mean…..i don’t have many guy friends this is weird and you never even talked to me in the first place

Yuta: well now u have THE GREAT UTAH ;)

        **yuta

Madi: lmAO UTAH

Yuta: shut up that was on accidenT

Madi: nah i’m gonna call u utah from now on

Utah: i just came here to have a good time and i honestly feel so attackd rn

I don’t think i want to be friends anymore :(

Madi: ok i’m sorry utah i won’t do it again :^)

Utah: I fucking hate u nvmd i’m blocking ur number

Madi: lmaO SORRY NO PLS DON’T

Utah: only if you go on a date with me

Madi: uh,,,

Utah: if yoU WANT TO

Madi: if you pay for my food

Utah: no prob ;)

Madi: thx utah

Utah: >:(

[monstacatcher]

So I’ve been thinking about The Clan MV’s

I’ve had this theory sitting in my drafts since Fighter came out but I decided to finish it now, even it its about 4 months late. ALSO THIS IS VERY LONG BUT I INCLUDED SCREEN SHOTS TO MAKE IT EASIER TO READ.

Basically this is what this theory includes:

Friendship

An alternative reality

A solution to the question of the flower

An answer to what it all means

It all kinda makes sense

Stranger Things yo

Alright, so in Part 1: Lost, MX have already said they all live in a poor neighborhood, which is apparently under the control of military forces that we see the boys stand up too in the MV. 

The Clan is them of course, a tightly knitted group of friends who struggle through their daily life by being together. MX mentioned the different ‘loses’ their characters have, Kihyun has a limp and uses crutches, Shownu lost his dad, and Hyungwon is being abused by his dad and so on. This is all cool, explained and kind of obvious. 

THE THING THAT PEEVES ME THOUGH IS THE FLOWER. What’s the deal with it? In All In we see them drink it, they crush and boil it and tbh the scene looks like a drug fest or a worship ceremony. 

Besides that scene, Shownu drinks it after finding his dad has passed, and Minhyuk pours it into the tub where Hyungwon is, (looking dead or knocked out) and it seemingly revives him, or kills them both. 

OR alternatively what I think it actually does is brings you to some sort of realm or reality, and alternated state of mind, like a hallucinogenic drug, without the feeling of being high so to speak. I think depending on how you ingest it, it either heals you, or it can move you to this ‘realm’. 

The reason why I think this is because of the fight or war that MX seem to be in at the start of the MV. I thinking one of two things. 1, this happened before the events of the MV. They all fought to keep their village from being taken from the military, but they failed and ended up having to live with it. But while they fought and run away, they find this THING in the sky, which I think is a door of some kind between our reality and another realm. 

So they’re like whoooaaa, and this thing gives them these flowers so they can stay strong and fight against the oppression they face, that’s why they kinda worship it. Minhyuk gives the flower to Hyungwon during battle and he heals, so this is after they actually find this thing in the sky. ANYWAY I’m making myself confused lets stay on target.

2, Minhyuk and Hyungwon probably have some sort of relationship,bfs or just bffs is a minor detail, but regardless, Minhyuk is protective af and takes Wonho and I.M with him and burns down what looks like a headquarters for the military forces, and frames Hyungwon’s dad for it, so he’s out of the picture.

(The red arrows are just to show that its a military headquarters not Hyungwon’s dad’s house)

(Fuck you dad)

This makes the military upset and starts tearing down on the village for real, and the boys stand up to it, and as a result this thing appears before them because it’s seen them use the flowers and wants to reward them. I know, did I drink that flower voodoo? TBH I believe more in my first theory, because Hyungwon and Minhyuk are shown seeing the thing in the sky, but they wouldn’t be there if it was after the events of the MV because they are, well dead? So disregard the second option entirely actually. I’m sorry I’m confusing you. Let’s continue.

I also have third reason to believe that there is another realm because of what continues to happen in Fighter MV. All the Stranger Things references, the intro and the bikes in Fighter, Minhyuk, Shownu and Hyungwon end up being caught in the ‘The Clan’ version of The Upside Down, and the rest of MX has to go there to save them. 

The reason why MH, SH, HW (hereby referred to as Lost Squad) are trapped there is because they committed a sin or are experiences a great sadness, so they’ve been caught in the realm, without being able to return, like they usually do during their ‘worship meetings’. They have each other to pull each other back, but now they’re all grieving separately and struggling to return, so JH, WH, KH, I.M (from here on out referred to as Rescue Squad), have to get them. 

All their ‘realities’ in this realm differs from what they’ve experienced. Shownu’s reality is him being in jail for robbing the bank, mourning his father alone and blaming himself for his death.

Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s ‘death’/’travel’ together brings their realities together, their relationship is probably a mental institution to them, being punished for it and unable to escape it, Hyungwon through his dad’s abuse and Minhyuk through watching someone he loves go through that. They left our world together and now they feel drugged and caught off guard so they can’t leave.

ALRIGHT NOW THAT WE’VE ESTABLISHED A FEW THINGS, we can tackle the events of Fighter MV, the big rescue.

Wonho is building a machine in Fighter, what it does we don’t exactly know, but the only people we see interact with it is everyone who didn’t obviously drink the flower towards the end of All In is Rescue Squad. 

(There is no real reason for this screenshot to be here I just wanted to bless you with it)

The machine seems to be a computer of some sort, with controllers connected by vibrant colored wires, that makes it look more like a scrapheap game console than an interdenominational travel machine. If Wonho is the engineer and builds the machine, maybe I.M is the hacker who writes the programming for it, figures out how to find Lost Squad and bring them back? 

MX has mentioned that the teddy bears is a symbol of their childhood or innocence, so I don’t think there’s a direct relation between this and the plot, its just symbolism. I thinking the machine will help the rest of the boys recover their friends who are lost in another reality because of the flower.

When I.M is playing his game where he is surrounded by the stuffed animals, his game character (also a teddy bear) eats a flower, like in Super Mario, where the flower makes you invulnerable for a certain amount of time, maybe this means he’s figured out how they can use the machine Wonho has built to travel safely and save Lost Squad. 

So far it seems like all of Rescue Squad has one part each in the rescue. Kihyun’s part seems to be quite gloomy. Kihyun seems to have killed someone as a favour so that he can get access to a massive storage facility where it looks like someone is growing this flower by the bucket.

Now you probably think, but didn’t the Thing give MX the flower exclusively so they could survive that battle from All In? When I wrote that I was think of in the term of them being shown where the flower was, or the Thing brought it into our world, like a new plant to grow, so eventually other would find it. The scenery of All In and Fighter are quite different so I think that some time has passed between the videos and they might have moved on to somewhere else to build the machine and hash out a plan to rescue Lost Squad. So theoretically in that time others could’ve found the flower.

ANYWAY BACK ON TRACK: Rescue Squad needed a lot of this flowers to fuel the machine, so when Kihyun brings back the flowers, they liquidate them and Jooheon fills the machine with it. That’s the final touch on the machine so that Rescue Squad can safely enter and exit the other realm to save Lost Squad.

(Also bare witness to honey-thighs)

Now we gotta enter the other Realm to see whats up with Lost Squad. Shownu mentioned in an interview that Jooheon is a kind of intermediate character, he can travel between the worlds. This makes kinda sense, as in All In, Jooheon is the one who leads the flower-drinking ceremonies. Jooheon enters in both realities to kind of give the Lost Squad a heads up that Rescue Squad is coming for them. To Shownu, Jooheon knights him, which by real life terms of real knighting’s, usually means that the person is being honored for something they’ve done, in Shownu’s case, trying to rescue his father by any means necessary. This means he can forgive himself and get ready to fight to leave, and not wallow in his sadness and regret.

In the case of MH and HW, Jooheon appears as a Doctor, there to cure them or give them a reason to leave, the spirit to fight back and be themselves again, that there’s nothing wrong to fight for someone you love, regardless. He offers them those gummy-bears, one blue, one purple. This GETS ME because it HAS to be a direct reference to The Matrix. You take the blue pill, you stay in blissful ignorance and keep living in the matrix, you take the red pill you wake up in reality, the true world outside the matrix where humans are nothing more than energy cells. What bothers me though is that they take the blue pill, which according to The Matrix means you stay in the made-up world, but in the context of blue being the color associated with both the flower and the X-clan, that could be the equivalent of the red pill. Or I might be overthinking it and he just gives them one each to wake them up a little, cause they look like they’re about to pass out any minute before Jooheon arrives.

Right before Jooheon alerts MH and HW we see Rescue Squad preparing the machine, filling liquid, turning buttons, doing some serious gaming button pushing.

After that scene, we cut to the flower just floating around, then a quick shot of the same room, but the boys are gone and the screen is blinking blue, so they must’ve manage to enter the other realm, since the controls are spread around the floor like they were just dropped.

The next minute we see them joyfully running through the halls, all wearing white clothes and together, exiting a door in blinding light. I’m sure in between that cut they managed to find each other and make a ‘mental’ run for it, back to reality.

The end of them in clouds and stuff I think is just that Music Video Aesthetic to show off all the members in heaven like they’ve left together. Done. They made it, Lost Squad: Rescued, Rescue Squad: Successful, Brain: Hurts.

So That’s It Folks. That’s my theory, it might not be 100% correct since some things might’ve been proven wrong by interviews with the boys in later dates but this is something I started writing when the video first came out, and then I gave up for months when it gave me a headache. Revived the idea as of February so I hope you enjoyed it, please reblog and comment with your own theories if you have any! Thanks for reading this massive post <3

[anxiouslysly]

Sunday 9/2 11:35pm

friday didn’t have class til noon so i fixed my flat tire. idk i’ve been sleeping terribly (waking up at 5:30/6am and a couple times throughout the night) so i was still kinda tired and didnt want to do much even though i didn’t get up til like 8 or 9. went to linear, katherine’s in that class! not too bad we learned about vectors. then went to design optimization, we talked about like the definition of the phrase pretty much. prof thought it ended half an hour later than it did but realized it when we all started packing up. went to get ice cream at the grad social w kristin since she got done early but then dan was already here so he came too. saw david there giving out bottles! then it was kinda a mess i got more broccoli from kristin, dan and i drove to my apt and i cooked for large group. he stayed home and i went (i knew i’d have to talk to new ppl and wouldn’t really be able to introduce him or talk to him that much so he chose not to go) and apparently emily and jared both asked him like multiple times why he didn’t go and so he wasn’t in the greatest mood which i get, was not ideal. but when i got back we watched some netflix on the couch and i nearly fell asleep, went to bed early so we could get up early. 

left saturday morning at 5 for potsdam, he drove and i tried to sleep in the car. went to crew practice, i sat in the gazebo by the water, it was v nice and sunny out. all the new freshmen were there for the first time. once he was done we went back and got a few groceries and had breakfast then got ready for float fest, what a time. i got to meet his ppl- alex seems v chill, a good guy. steg is a little more out there and energetic, he and devin had constructed the suburu chair w balloons and it actually held up pretty well. they lost their friend matt somewhere on the river he went off with other ppl. there were people smoking weed and cigars which wasn’t pleasant but it was v nice out still and chill to just float down the river. alex, dan, and i swam back up the river a bit to get out at the beach (when we realized there might not be another good stop to get out) and drove back to devin’s for shoes and stuff. dan and i went back and changed, he showed me around campus. when we got back from that they were all back at the apartment, then the other guys were grilling brats and burgers so we ate and then hit the road. i drove, was kind of scared of messing up his car bc its kind of finicky. we switched after like 2.25 hours which was when i saw the text from sage about going on the retreat. also on the way back he told me about how the girl who keeps texting him when she’s drunk/making bad decisions is his ex and it was an inappropriate relationship bc he was 4 years older and now he feels responsible for some of her issues. got back and watched rogue one bc we were both pretty tired, i nearly fell asleep again (definitely missed some parts). 

today we went to the later church service, pastor ed was preaching and i thought he did a good job (and dan was singing). came come and made fajitas for lunch and then we were just sitting and talking a bit until he fell asleep on me for a little while. then he headed out back upstate...it’s never easy saying bye. i tried to get started on hw, got a tiny bit done. after a while jared was like you ready? and i was like for what? so we biked to the turnaround. right before we left i got a text from joe asking if i wanted to play catan so i said yes when i got back i’d come over, told dan and called him quickly on the way there. it was fun, we did 2 games and joe won both. dan had said how he wasn’t thrilled about me going but after we talked some more and he said he knows it’s not healthy and thinks its because hes jealous i’m doing fun things without him. also i was sitting in my room and emily and jared were arguing which was not the most fun to listen to. and earlier jared asked if i wanted to bike to grafton next weekend and i was like idk i’ll see if i can get dan to bring his bike and he was like is he visiting every weekend? and i was like idk? probably a lot? but not every single one? and he’s like okay i was just asking. idk dan was also frustrated bc he’s been sleeping on the sofa and they’re not particularly...quiet ppl like jared slams doors and emily walks really loudly. 

going biking tm with the cycling club, and having dinner w joe and kristin. really should get work done too.