#i’ve been mia for like. a couple weeks. whoops

[catpeepeepoopoo]

day….15?? it’s been a while whoops

[collabwithmyself]

Interlude: Just Like Me

"Did you SEE THAT?!" Maya crowed, leaping off the couch and onto her feet. "That was AWESOME!"

Miles was right behind her, flapping his hands as giddiness overtook him. "I can't take the suspense, Maya, I can't wait another week for this! We've been looking forward to this showdown all season!"

"YES! Did you see the way the Steel Samurai was so cool with his spear?!" Maya grabbed the nearby broom - Miles had abruptly abandoned his chores when they realized the show was about to start - and swung it haphazardly. "See you in Hell, Evil Magistrate," she said, her voice dropping into a deeper register Miles wasn't even aware she was capable of. He stopped trying to grab the broom from her to correct her technique, flabbergasted.

"How in the world did you just do that?"

"Huh?" Maya blinked. "Do what?"

"Th-That! With your voice!"

"Ohhh..." Maya grinned mischeviously. "A girl has her ways."

The pair stood there for a second.

Two.

"Okay, it's a lot harder than it used to be, since I've been doing voice training and all," Maya admitted in a rush, unable to contain herself.

"Why would vocal training make changing your voice harder?" Miles wondered aloud. "...Why would you need vocal training in the first place, in fact?"

The answer cracked him over the head like a wooden rod. No, wait, that was Maya fooling around with the broom again.

"NGHOOH!"

"Whoops!"

Miles rubbed the swelling knot on his forehead, grimacing. "What was that for?"

"Hee... Cain instinct?"

"What? Where do you get these words?"

"Internet."

"Who is giving you access to the internet? Don't you live on a mountain?"

"I usually use Mia's computer whenever I visit to look at stuff," Maya said matter-of-factly.

There was something else he wanted to ask, but it had been very rudely interrupted by Maya whacking him. He racked his brain, retracing his mental steps. She was messing with the broom because they were talking about the Steel Samurai, and Maya had made herself sound sort of like the Steel Samurai, and she brought up voice training when Miles asked... aha!

"Maya, what did you mean earlier by vocal training?"

Maya stiffened, clutching the broom. "I was hoping I hit you hard enough you forgot about that."

"Wha-- why would you--" Miles was bewildered. "You hit me on purpose so I'd forget I asked you a question?"

"Yeah! Let's talk about that! I'm such a card, aren't I?" Maya gave him a toothy grin.

"Maya."

Maya puffed up her cheeks and then let out her breath with a noisy sputter of her lips. Her arms drooped, and the broom slid out of her hands and onto the floor. "Can't you just drop it, My? It's nothing important."

The curious part of him yearned to know what Maya was hiding, even though he had a decent hunch. The rest of him, however, felt regret at seeing Maya so dejected. He cleared his throat awkwardly and sat back down on the couch.

"Right. I... I'm sorry."

...perhaps there was something he could do that might be able to coax the story out of her, but if he was wrong, he'd be baring a particularly vulnerable part of himself to someone he still didn't know all that well. Maya didn't seem like the type to be hurtful, but she'd lived in a village with heavy gender roles her whole life, and he wasn't sure if he was mentally prepared to walk her through the basics if need be.

Eventually, he settled on saying, "I had an odd voice when I was younger, too."

Maya perked up. "You have an odd voice now," she said almost immediately.

Miles spluttered. "I do not," he protested.

"Nghooooh," Maya groaned. Miles took a cushion from the couch and chucked it at her.

Once she stopped cackling, she leaned on the couch with an expression Miles hoped was intrigue. "Okay, okay. Tell me about your weird voice."

"Well, it could... very easily be called feminine, I suppose." He folded his hands in his lap as he carefully picked his words. "I had to go through a lot of effort to make it sound the way I wanted it to."

Maya was wearing an expression he couldn't quite read, looking like she was somehow simultaneously staring at him and through him.

"So I, erm," Miles mumbled, all too aware of how little he'd thought this through, "understand what it's like. To be unhappy enough with your voice to want to change it. And I, er, I'm glad you're comfortable."

An extremely awkward silence filled the room, stretching longer and longer. Miles began to fidget in place, squeezing his hands together before releasing, squeeze-release, squeeze-release--

"I'm trans."

Miles stiffened. "O... Oh?" he managed, wincing at how terribly desperate he sounded.

Maya wound a piece of hair around her finger. "Yeah, I realized that being a boy sucked one day, and I wanted to be a girl instead. So I am a girl."

"I don't know," Miles mumbled, tensing, "I found the concept rather appealing."

It took her a moment, but then her jaw dropped. "Wait, you--?!"

He folded his arms across his chest, giving himself a firm squeeze. "I haven't known anyone like myself since I was nine years old," he admitted.

Maya chose this moment to hurl herself over the back of the couch and flatten Miles in something approaching a hug, but was really just a mess of flailing limbs.

"NGOOOH!!"

"I've never met ANYBODY like me before!" Maya shouted, ecstatic. "Do you have any idea what it's like being the only trans person in an entire village that still doesn't even grasp the concept of gay couples?"

"I can only imagine," Miles wheezed. "Please get off my stomach."

Maya chose instead to somehow drop even more of her weight onto him. Miles coughed.

"It's like destiny we met or something, My! This is incredible!"

"I-I don't... wait, aren't only women born with spiritual powers in your village?"

"The spirits said trans rights," Maya said sternly.

They stared at each other.

Then they both started laughing.

Maya collapsed fully against Miles, wheezing as she tried to catch her breath. "Hoo, yeah... once I figured out I was a girl, I was like, I wanna be a spirit medium! Because that's what women in Kurain Village do, y'know? And it turns out, bam, I've got spiritual powers! I think it's probably the only reason anybody in the village actually takes my identity seriously!"

Miles's grin slipped off his face. "Ah... that's..."

But Maya seemed unperturbed. "I think my Aunt Morgan thinks I turned myself into a girl specifically to spite her, which, while a hilarious concept--"

"Maya," Miles said firmly, "you deserve a more accepting environment than that."

Maya deflated. "Yeah, well, it's the best I'm gonna get," she sighed.

"Well, I can say with certainty that you're a woman regardless of whether you can channel spirits."

Maya was silent, resting her face on Miles's shoulder.

"...thanks," she finally mumbled into him.

Miles awkwardly patted her on the back. "Er... yes."

[let-me-write-shit]

Like We Used To: 23

[Click Here For Previous Chapters]

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CHAPTER TWENTY THREE:

“Do you think all of this is still necessary?” Elizabeth called from the bathroom, pulling on the tenth outfit in the last two hours.

She dabbed her forehead with a towel, starting to sweat from all of the movement as Claudia, the stylist, buttoned up the back. Harry sat on the edge of his bed beside Lisa and Jeffrey, discussing details of the upcoming fashion show and going over bits for the preparation for his Halloween concert. 

After Harry left her house Thursday morning, they had been brought to the attention of more pictures that were captured of their outing at the pumpkin patch with Harry and Elizabeth holding baby Mia, pushing the stroller around, and picking out pumpkins together. The caption had been ‘Harry Styles Getting Serious With His New Girlfriend’. It was pretty clear that most people had assumed that they were an item, so did they really have to make an official public appearance as a couple? What was the point?

Elizabeth had spent all of Thursday and Friday getting as much work done as she could so that she could go to Harry’s on Saturday morning to get fitted for her Fashion Show before they left for Anne’s. Now that they were getting closer to the day of the show, she was beginning to have doubts about their ‘first official appearance’, and the anticipation of dinner tonight with Harry’s mom didn’t exactly calm her anxiety.

The door creaked open and both Claudia and Elizabeth looked up to see Harry poke his head in. He smiled politely and nodded at Claudia as if to say ‘can you give us a moment’, before she nodded understandingly and slipped out, closing the door behind her. Harry stepped closer and tucked a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear and took her hand in his, looking all over her face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, sincerely.

Elizabeth sighed, looking down, “I’m freaking out a little,” she admitted.

“Talk to me.”

She took a deep breath, “I don’t know. I know it’s not supposed to be a big deal. Like, we’re dating, whoop-dee-doo! But, all of this,” she gestured down to her clothes that had clips everywhere to cinch in where needed, “it’s a lot. Why does there have to be an ‘official outing’, you know?”

“Do you not want to go with me?” Harry asked, looking into her eyes.

“No, I do, but…”

“So don’t think of it as an ‘official outing’ and just think of it as you just going to an event with your boyfriend,” Harry said softly, running his hand down her arm, “We don’t need to make it into a big deal. We’ll just tell the stylist to take your measurements and surprise us with your clothes. We’ll go, take a few pictures outside the event, enjoy the show, and go to the afterparty. There doesn’t have to be any official statement, I won’t stop for interviews on the way in, I think us showing up together is a statement in itself. Sound good?”

Elizabeth took a breath and nodded, looking down again. 

“Is there something else bothering you?” He asked. When Elizabeth nodded he pressed, “Tell me.”

She felt all of her anxiety force its way out of her mouth, unable to control what she said as her hands quivered and her voice shook, “I’m pissing myself about going to your mom’s tonight. I haven’t seen her in so long. Does she even know we’re dating? Should I bring something? What do I even say? What if she hates me now?”

Harry let out a chuckle, pulling her into him tightly and kissing her on top of her head before lifting her up and setting her on the bathroom vanity. He stood in between Elizabeth’s legs, and squeezed her thighs before raising a hand to her face, lightly brushing his thumb across her cheek.

“Lizzy,” he chuckled again, “My mom adores you, she always has. She’s brought your name up in conversations several times throughout the years. She could never hate you. And yes, she knows we’re dating. I told her the morning after it happened. All she wants is to see you again. You know her. She’s the same as she was back then. Don’t worry.”

Elizabeth nodded once more, taking another deep breath to compose herself. Harry grinned, entertained by her sentiments, and leaned in, kissing her softly. When he pulled away, he looked at her up and down where she sat on the counter, legs on either side of him. 

“You know, we’re in the perfect position to…..” he smirked, wiggling his eyebrow and biting his lip.

She smiled, leaning in and giving him another kiss, pining for his touch. She took in his bottom lip, biting on it lightly as she reached down over his pants to grab his soft member before letting go. As she sat back up, his lip flopped back into place and his eyes bore down at her, hungry. 

“Later,” Elizabeth whispered in his ear before pushing him back and jumping off the counter.

Harry groaned, the left side of his lips upturned in an amused smirk, smacking her butt as she headed towards the door and making her let out a hushed yelp. He quickly adjusted himself in his pants and followed Elizabeth out of the room where Claudia, Jeffrey, and Lisa were. Harry let them know the plan, and they stayed until 1 PM to finish up getting Elizabeth sized and wrapping up a few more minor details with Harry.

Soon, it was just the two of them relaxing on the couch in Harry’s living room, watching the movie ‘Just Friends’ to pass the time until they had to leave for Anne’s house. Elizabeth was nose deep in her phone, typing away until Harry cleared his voice.

“Who are you texting?” He asked inquisitively.

Elizabeth looked up, wrinkling her eyebrows, “Nosey.”

“Well, you’re just over there on your phone when a movie’s on…”

“Am I not giving you enough attention?” Elizabeth teased, making Harry’s expression soften into a little laugh. Elizabeth continued, “For your information, I’m in a group chat with Sarah, Mitch, Kate, and Matt. We’re trying to plan a get together after your concert in a couple weeks now that Kate, Lewis, and Matt were able to get time off to go to New York for the show.”

Harry smiled at her, staring. It was longer than normal which made Elizabeth’s eyes dart from left to right, confused. He finally spoke, “I love how much my friends like you.”

Elizabeth smiled, blushing lightly while trying to play it off, “I mean, what’s not to like?” she flipped her hair dramatically. He laughed, crawling towards her on the couch to give her gentle kisses. 

The car ride to Anne’s house almost felt like they were driving back in time. Although Anne was in a newer, larger home, she remained in the same area as when the two of them grew up. They passed their old school yard, the park they used to hang out at, drove down streets that they used to roam and ride bikes. Elizabeth stared out the window, smiling as she recalled the moments when her and Harry would sneak out late at night to meet up at the park and share candy, talking until the sun began to break. 

When they pulled into Anne’s driveway, Elizabeth felt her nerves start to kick in, making her stomach flutter. Harry noticed, squeezing her hand reassuringly until she nodded, ready to get out. About halfway to the entrance, though, the door flew open and Anne ran out, screeching excitedly, heading straight towards Elizabeth.

“Oh my goodness, my dear Lizzy! Oh, I’ve missed you!” She exclaimed in her ear, pulling Elizabeth into a tight hug and tottering her left to right.

Elizabeth laughed, feeling her nerves fade away almost immediately, having the same effect from Anne’s embrace as she did whenever Harry hugged her. I guess that’s where he got it from.

Harry scoffed, “Uhm, hello? What about me? Your son?” he quipped.

Anne pulled away smiling widely, her dimples identical to Harry’s. She gave him a squeeze and laughed, “Sorry. Lizzy always was my favorite.”

Harry chuckled, mouthing an ‘I told you so’ over to Elizabeth before following Anne inside. “Is Gemma here?” he asked, looking around vaguely.

Anne smacked her tongue, “No, darling, she couldn’t make it.” Harry nodded and she said, “I was just getting ready to start cooking the tacos.”

“Can I help?” Elizabeth offered.

Anne smiled, turning to pat Elizabeth’s cheek, “See, this is why you were always my favorite. I’d love some help! Thank you, darling.”

They followed her into the kitchen where all of the ingredients were laid out on the counter. Anne instructed her to start putting things together for the cabbage topping while Harry was to chop some onions and she would cook the meat.

“You know, I always thought that there was something going on between you two when you were kids, but every time I asked Harry, he always said ‘no, mom, she’s got a boyfriend’. Or ‘Ew, mom, stop. We’re just friends’.” Anne mocked her son, giving the steak a quick mix, “But I always noticed anytime all you kids were over, whenever you were all laughing, he’d always look at you first.”

Harry groaned, blushing, “Stoooop, your embarrassing me.”

Anne looked over, pinching his cheek before turning back to a smiling Elizabeth. “I’m glad you gave him another chance. I know you must have been so hurt when he left. I was always upset with him for doing that to you all.”

Harry put his head down in guilt while Elizabeth nodded solemnly, “Yeah, it was pretty upsetting, but he’s definitely been making up for it. He’s been really great.”

“Good,” she ruffled Harry’s hair, “and don’t let him live it down, either.”

Elizabeth laughed, “I won’t.”

When they were younger Elizabeth had a habit of talking to Anne like she was one of her friends. It always seemed to embarrass Harry whenever he had friends over and Elizabeth went missing, only to find her and his mom laughing in the kitchen, and almost immediately they picked that up again. This time, however, Harry smiled happily watching as his mom and girlfriend laughed to the point of tears. Harry was right, there was no reason for Elizabeth to worry. 

It had eventually gotten to the point where Harry felt comfortable enough to let the girls talk alone and he stretched out in the living room, watching TV while Anne and Elizabeth continued talking in the kitchen. At first they discussed Elizabeth’s job and she told Anne about her neighbor, Judy, and their old friends. The conversation then turned to Anne and how she managed to deal with the sudden fame of her son.

Anne sat back in her seat, letting out a contented sigh, “I gotta tell you, Lizzy. I’m so glad you’re back in his life. And mine. I can’t believe you’re still close with all the others. Kate, Lewis, JJ, Matt, Celeste. I wish Harry could have been a part of that. I’m sure the bond you all share is incredible. But I’m grateful that you all found each other again.”

Elizabeth nodded, smiling softly, “I’m really lucky to have such great friends. And now with Harry back it kind of feels like our little pack of friends is whole again. It’s pretty great.”

Anne nodded, but her smile started to slowly fade. After a moments thought she sat up, a more serious expression spread across her face. “Lizzy, I just want you to be careful.”

“What do you mean?”

Anne outstretched her arms on the table, opening up her hands in order to take a hold of Elizabeth’s. She gave Elizabeth’s hands a squeeze as she spoke, “I know your relationship with him is new, you might still be getting adjusted to his new….way of life. And I’m not sure how much you two have spoken about his previous relationships. There’s been a few, and I haven’t met all of them, but I do know the reason why most of his past relationships ended. Time. With the work he does, he rarely has free time. He’s always traveling, and when he’s not traveling he’s writing an album, and when he’s not writing an album, he’s doing press work. It’s a never ending cycle and the stress of it usually becomes the final straw. I don’t mean to scare you. I’m telling you all of this because I just adore you, and I love my son, but I don’t want you to get heartbroken. So just...be patient with him, and be careful. Will you?”

Elizabeth gulped. Somehow hearing this from Harry’s mom made her insecurities of their relationship seem not so outlandish. So far it hasn’t been too terrible, but she could have just come in at the right time. His schedule seemed to break all of his relationships before her, why would she be any different? Just because they used to catch fireflies at the park when they were younger? 

KEEP READING

[calpalirwin]

Love in a Coffee Shop

Summary: Finn starts dating again.

A/N: Y’all ever get curious what Finn gets up to during all of this? Or are we all so far up Ashton’s ass that we kinda forget Finn exists? Be honest! Well, I love Finn, so we’re gonna check up on him if that’s cool.

Word Count: 2.4k

And away, and away we go!

__

“You need to go out on a date,” Vanessa said with an eye roll.

If I had a dollar… “What do you think I do?” I asked.

“Work, take care of the kids, brood, visit you mom, brood some more.” She ticked each thing off on her fingers with a playful smile,

“I do not brood,” I defended while Ashton snickered into his hand. “And for the record, I have gone on dates. They just end horribly.”

“Aw,” Vanessa pouted. “Single, hot dad thing doesn’t work?”

“Oh, it works…” I shuddered. “Too well, that’s the problem.”

“Oh, boohoo, I’m Finn, and have lots of sex. Poor thing…”

I threw one of my fries at her while Ashton coughed to cover up a louder laugh. “Again, that’s not the problem, Ness.”

“Well, what is the problem then, Mr. Therapist?” she asked me in exasperation.

“Well first it was them running for the hills when I mentioned that my ex was pregnant with my second kid. That, uh.. Didn’t really sit well with women funnily enough.”

“That makes sense. But what’s the problem now?”

“The problem now is that they start planning these futures where we have kids too and…” I shuddered again. “I love my kids. I do. But one of each is enough for me. I don’t need exactly a bajillion like you do.”

Vanessa scoffed at me in offense, crossing her arms over her chest. “Wow… how did I ever let you go?” she sighed dreamily at me with a sarcastic smirk on her lips.

Ashton’s high-pitched giggle escaped despite his best efforts which set off both the couple in the booth behind us, and Mason and Bailey. “Stop!” Ashton wheezed. “Can’t breath! Couple behind us can hear!”

I was pretty sure the couple behind us was laughing far more about the grown ass man with the boyish giggle mixing with the gleeful laughter of small children than mine and Vanessa’s actual discussion. Especially when Ashton’s plea for us to drop the conversation resulted in the couple laughing even harder.

“Well,” Vanessa pressed on. “Mason starts preschool on Monday. Maybe you’ll find a cute single mom.”

“I don’t want more kids, Ness…”

“She probably won’t either! It’ll be great!”

“Yeah, minus the combined kids we have together from our exes? Pfft, perfect! What am I thinking?”

“Well what are you gonna do? Find a woman that doesn’t want kids? Women don’t admit that. You really think they’re gonna admit that to a dude with kids? Fuck no! Women get the stigma that if they don’t want kids it automatically means they hate them.”

“Okay, well I don’t think that.”

“Yeah, but they don’t know that.”

I groaned. “Ugh, I’m just gonna get a vasectomy and call it a day. Oh, you want kids? That’s cool, I can’t. Whoops…”

“That’s not a bad idea. Considering how easy it is for men to control their own reproductive rights…”

“Yeah, yeah, this country’s fuckin’ backwards. But move with my kids to Australia and… actually…”

Vanessa snorted. “I am not moving to Australia. No offense, love,” she said, patting Ashton’s hand.

“None taken.”

~~~

“Alright, Mase, I’ll pick you up in a few hours and take you to Nana’s,” I told Mason before straightening back up to my feet. I checked my watch. Perfect. Bailey was already with my mom, Mason had been dropped off at school, and I still had a half hour to make it in to work.

“Hi, I’m Mia,” a soft voice introduced and I lifted my gaze to find a woman in a knee-length patterned dress standing in front of me with her hand extended. Soft brown hair was piled on top of her head in a perfectly messy bun, escaped strands framing a set of equally soft brown eyes hidden behind black framed glasses.

“Finn,” I replied, shaking her hand.

“Finn… I don’t recall seeing you last week.” Her pink lips frowned in concern, and rightfully so. A strange man in a room full of preschoolers was mad creepy.

“Oh, yeah, my ex brought him last week. We have split custody of uh…” I looked around trying to spot Mason in a small sea of three and four year olds. “Well, he’s here somewhere… quiet one, bout this high.” I held my hand out measuring Mason’s height against my leg.

“Mmm” she hummed in response, her frown turning into a soft smile. “Well it’s nice to meet you, Finn.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Mia.” I returned her smile. Please be the teacher, and not a mom. Please be the teacher, and not a mom.

“Well, I’ll see you later for pick up then,” she nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll be here,” I answered, watching her move towards a chair in front of where all the rugrats sat cluttered on a rug decorated with the alphabet and numbers. Yes!

~~~

“So…?” Vanessa nudged my arm from across the table.

“So, what?” I asked, feigning innocence.

She rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Finn…”

“I had the kids, Ness. Didn’t exactly go on any dates.”

“Yeah, but did you see anyone you might be interested in when you dropped Mase off at school?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“Oh, my god, who?!” Vanessa pestered, her eyes lit up with excitement. “Was it Gwen’s mom, Lydia? I think she just has the one, so that wouldn’t be too bad. And she’s so cute.”

“You act like I’m picking out a puppy… and no. Not Lydia. Mia.”

“The teacher?!” Vanessa oooed, lifting her hair up off her neck and fanning herself. “The scandal!”

“Yeah… so I’m not really sure. She’s cute. She’s great with kids. But she’s his teacher for fuck’s sake.”

“Yeah, but what if she’s one of those teachers who’s a teacher because she doesn’t want her own kids?”

“What if she’s the teacher who’s a teacher because she wants kids?” I countered.

“For a therapist, you're pretty pessimistic there, Finn,” she tsked.

I rolled my eyes. “Alright. Say you’re right.”

“I usually am.”

I rolled my eyes again. “Say you’re right,” I repeated. “She’s one of those ‘I get my fulfillment by teaching other people’s children rather than having them myself’ types. Still doesn’t change the fact that she’s Mase’s teacher. That’s not like… scandalous?” I asked, stealing her word for it and waggling my fingers ominously.

She shrugged. “Maybe. But isn’t that your guys’ business to decide that for yourselves?”

I let out my next breath in a huff, running my hands through my hair. “Maybe. But I dunno if this is a risk I can take, Ness. If I ask her out and she says no, then there’s the awkwardness of having to see her twice a day. If I ask her out and things end badly, it’s the same as if she rejects me outright, but worse because we already tried something.”

“Has it been awkward between us since we broke up?”

“What? No…”

“So there ya go. It’ll only be awkward if you make it awkward. And if things potentially being awkward is what stops you from trying in the first place… well, that’s the weakest excuse I’ve ever heard.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’ll think about it, alright?”

“Good enough for me!” she chirped.

~~~

I groaned as my phone rang, telling me it was Vanessa. Why was she calling me on a Sunday morning? I checked the time and groaned again. And why so early? “Yeah?” I answered with a yawn.

“Coffee shop on the corner of Fifth. Now!”

“What?”

“Mia! She’s here at the coffee shop.” By her hushed tone, I could imagine she was whispering into her phone so Mia must have been close.

“Jesus Christ, woman…”

“Are you coming or not?”

“I don’t even like coffee.”

“Then order a fuckin’ bagel for all I care. Just get down here!”

“Alright, alright…” I grumbled, pushing myself out of bed.

Ten minutes later I pushed my way into the little shop, spotting Ashton, Vanessa, and the kids chatting quietly with Mia at a table. Vanessa caught my eye, and said something that was probably “Oh, it’s Finn!” based on the way her mouth moved before waving me over.

“Hey guys,” I said once I got closer to them.

“Oh, hi!” Mia greeted with a smile. “Your little one with their mom?” she asked offhandedly, bringing attention to the fact that I hadn’t brought the kids with me.

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. Did she not know Mason was mine? “Uh, yeah. He is,” I said, reaching out to ruffle Mason’s hair whose primary focus was on his croissant and chocolate milk.

He swatted at my hand angrily before he lifted his eyes up. “Daddy!” he beamed.

Mia’s eyes went wide. “Oh! Mason’s yours! I thought…” Her gaze fluttered over to Ashton. “Oh, my, that’s embarrassing…”

I laughed, brushing it off. “Honest mistake. But yeah, he’s mine.”

Her gaze flickered over to Bailey. “Both of them?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

“Oh, now I’m really embarrassed. I can’t believe I didn’t pay attention to the fact that I’ve seen Mason all week, but not Ashton and Vanessa here. Oh, wow…” Her glasses slid down her nose as she ducked her head down, her cheeks bright pink. 

“Again, honest mistake,” I told her. “Don’t even worry about it.”

She shook her head, still wrapped up in the small mishap. “I’m, uh… gonna go get my coffee now. It was good running into you guys. Finn,” she nodded politely and excused herself to go wait in line, her arms brushing against mine as she squeezed past me. 

“Well…” Vanessa prompted.

“Well, what?”

“She didn’t say my name when she said goodbye.”

“Or mine,” Ashton added.

“Just yours. Funny.”

They were right. Why had Mia just said my name? And had she brushed into my arm as she moved past me or had I made that up?

“Finn? Finn?”

“Hmm?”

“Go order your bagel.”

“Yeah, bagel,” I nodded, hurrying to go stand in line behind Mia. It took her stepping forward to place her order for me to figure out what I was doing. “And a cinnamon raisin bagel, please,” I added, stepping forward and pulling out my wallet.

“Oh, no…” Mia stammered, shaking her head at the now thoroughly confused barista. “Just the coffee, thanks,” she reiterated, flashing her card.

“Nope. Bagel too,” I spoke again, blocking the card reader from her while I handed the poor barista some cash. “Sorry for the confusion.”

Mia’s eyes narrowed at me as the cash register clanged open and I got my change, dumping it into the tip jar. “Thank you, but that was completely unnecessary,” she told me as we stepped off to the side.

“You’re right. Probably should’ve asked first. Can I buy you a coffee sometime?”

Heat rose in her still slightly tinged cheeks. “No.”

I nodded, feeling the muscles in my jaw twitch. “Alright. No worries.”

“Because you already bought me one, so the next coffee should be on me.”

“Oh? Well, uh, I don’t actually drink coffee…”

Her lips pursed together in thought as a different barista put our items on the pick up counter. She dug around her purse, pulling out a pen and scribbling something down on the bag my bagel was in “Well dinner, then,” she amended, handing me the bag with a phone number written on it in a loopy scrawl. “Or do you only eat bagels?”

~~~

“I’m really glad you agreed to this,” I said, admiring the way the candle flickering on the table between us cast her in a soft glow. “I, uh… wasn’t sure if I was crossing a line, or something.”

“Oh, this isn’t a date. This is just me returning the favor for that coffee the other day.” Her words didn’t match up to the teasing tone and playful smile.

“Mmm, right. Maybe I’ll just have to buy you more coffees then.”

“Or pluck up the courage to ask me on a real date. Whichever is easier.”

“Would you say yes if I asked.”

“Ask me and find out.”

“Two Fridays from now. Say seven?”

“Seven,” she laughed. “Two Fridays from now? Little presumptuous of you, no?”

“Or optimistic. Whichever is easier.”

She laughed more, then sighed. “That sounds lovely…”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming…”

“However,” she said with a knowing look, and I was already in love with the way she played with words. “There’s something I should probably tell you first.”

“Oh?” I asked, trying not to let my mind take me down the rabbit hole of wildly outrageous deal breakers.

“I can’t have kids…”

“Oh?” I said again, stupidly.

She nodded slowly. “Yeah… just so you’re aware. I try to get that part done and out of the way as soon as possible. Makes it a little easier to deal with the rejection that usually follows.”

“That’s um…” I faltered and I reached for her hand. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Oh, it doesn’t bother me. I didn’t want kids even before I learned I couldn’t have them. I mean, I love children. I love my job. But having children of my own wasn’t ever something I felt I needed.”

“That’s…”

“Fucked up?” she chuckled nervously.

“Great,” I corrected.

“Really?!”

“Oh, yeah,” I nodded, with a grin. “But, I have two. That’s not a concern for you?”

“Oh, no, not at all. I’m fine with that. It’s… complicated, I guess? I don’t mind dating parents and playing a role in their children’s lives. I just biologically don’t want to be a parent.”

“That’s not complicated at all, actually. That’s…”

“Great?” she offered.

“More than great.”

~~~

“C’mon… pick up the phone, Ness,” I muttered to myself as I bounced on the balls of my feet.

“Finn?” she asked as she answered.

“SHE CAN’T HAVE KIDS!” I clapped a hand to my mouth after the outburst. I probably could have phrased that better, but I couldn’t help myself. I was fuckin’ smitten. Mia was beautiful, and smart. She was good with kids. She didn’t care that I had kids. And she couldn’t and didn’t want kids of her own! Fuck, I felt like I had hit the jackpot and I needed someone to be just as excited with me.

“And you just blurted it out to me like that?” I could imagine her eyebrows raised in question. “Finn… do better…”

“Sorry! Yep. Probably could have phrased that better. Or not told you at all… but fuck, Ness! I’m so happy! We’re going on another date in a few weeks. And just… fuck, I haven’t been this excited in a long time.”

“That’s great, Finn. I’m really happy for you.”

“Oh! You have to swear to me you won’t mention to her that I told you. She didn’t make it seem like it was a secret, but… ya know?”

“My lips are sealed. And hey, Finn?”

“Yeah?”

“I fuckin’ told ya so.”

__

Tag List

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[seungmqn]

i see people talking about idol producer and of course i have to join in?? i know i’ve been mia but i’m having another existential crisis like i always am so thats nothing new!! but a couple weeks ago i caught up with nine percent and their little mini documentary thing (bless u nine percent subs on yt) and it’s #confirmed that i still love lin yanjun and chen linong. also #confirmed that wang ziyi can be my sugar daddy along with my other one mr. jackson wang :^) -ip anon

Jamsbsjsnssh I hope you’re okay idol prod :((Confession: I definitely haven’t watched the mini documentary thing… whoops bUT REST ASSURED I’LL WATCH IT AT SOME POINT Yanjun is legitimately the most beautiful person that I’ve ever seen and Nongnong is confirmed as the sun so thats a powerful duo right there jasmsbdjsn Wang Ziyi can be my candlelight dinner romance a n y day of the week bc we all know he’s a cliche romantic and I l o v e it 👌🏼 Also Jackson ajsmsbdjs I don’t even want to talk about him 🤧🤧🤧

[marvelintimelords97]

1,6,8,10,13,14,15,16,17,21,26,29,33,37,39,43,44,48,54,60,61,64,67,68,71,79,84,87,90,92,93,95,96,98,100,104

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? good morning babe, you where talking in your sleep again last night.6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?Ya but that is so far in the past that I am over it, it sucked at the time but we made ourfriendship work still and the mess up was on both accounts not just mine. 8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?I haven't exactly counted but probably 30 times a day when I am around him 10. When is the last time you saw your sister? oh man it's been about a week or so, I need to get together with her soon and see if theres anything I can do to help her with involving her wedding, ive been a pretty mia bridesmaid.13. Do you think relationships are hard?they most definitely can be, especially if you yourself have alot of issues going on in your own life but you're trying to not let those problems effect the Relationship you have with your partner. no relationship is a cake walk but if you are willing to put the time and effort into each other they can very amazing. 14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?There is a few small things I would change that would have helped myself and others get through life easier then we had to, there is a lot of things that have happened in these past five months that has caused chaos, stress and even depression for many of the people involved including myself and I hold myself accountable for a lot of it.15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?hell no id be locked in a room with my boyfriend I don't have any complaints there.16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?it depends on my mood, it is currently very drab out and I would appreciate some sunlight so I can go for a nice walk.17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?god only like a half a dozen people ya! my middle name is Michelle by the way21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?yup I have indeed 26. What breed was the last dog you saw? a cockapoo, I took her for a walk yesterday and she cuddled with me this morning 29. Do you think you’re old?I wouldn't say old no, the way I see it ( or at least how I saw it was ) I am currently at an age where people treat me like an adult when it comes to money or something they need otherwise I am a child who needs to shut up and not speak unless spoken to.33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?some where in between, I love fall although that could be a little biased for one of two reason, my birthday is in the fall and it lands on the same weekend as thanks giving so . . . . 37. What song are you listening to?questions like this are kind of dumb cuz like . . . im not listening to nything right now.39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?Ya which would probably be my Sister or an old friend of mine but I guess she wouldnt know everything cuz its been a while.43. How well do you know the last female you texted?I'd like to think well enough, I have known her since grade 9 and we had almost every class together.44. Does anyone disgust you?oh my god don't even get me started I would have to roll out a list starting with someone who mentally and emotionally abused me for a long time in my life.48. What color shirt are you wearing?a black Hottopic Umbreon Tanktop. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?Not really I don't mind as long as they are responsible and don't drink or drive.60. What do you carry with you at all times?the weight of the world crushing me with all of my different emotions . . . I bet you were expecting an answer like my cell hpone of lip chap . . haha nope. well maybe but still. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?I do it pretty much every night so where the hell is my money?!? 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?Of course I do! its such a nice way for someone to show you their affection 67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Do them myself for sure, I can't be high maintenance I buy to many funko pop figures. 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?Random but I guess zebra? 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? Android for sure.79. Did you ever have braces? Nope, probably should have but I personally feel its to late for that now. 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?I wish I had of done gymnastics as a kid but lol nope, I have asthma and get out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs to fast. 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? both, if I where to go somewhere trying to look nice then I would for sure wear the Heels, however I would be prepared with a change of clothes and some flipflops 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? I wouldn't really say I snuck out cuz I didnt but I have left my house really late at night/early in the morning before but only ever if im with friends, I refuse to walk places alone at night. 92. Have you ever made out in a car? I've done a little bit more then that.93. …Had sex in a car? its really hard to have sex in a car, if you want to do that, invest in a truck go on a long drive to somewhere in the middle of no where, put a big thick blanket down in the bed of the trunk and make love under the stars.95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Playing the sailor moon pops app I have on my phone cuz I am addicted to the stupid thing. 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? Oh man I honestly don't even remember, it feels like it was a couple years ago 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Sort of? not exactly its more so as if I was in a committed relationship with the person but I was so scared of being hurt from my previous relationship that I was not found of the idea of putting any titles on it. 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? yea probably I mean not hate persay but I wouldn't say we exactly get along all that well. 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? If I owned cowboy boots I guess I probably would?( I meant to look at the time on the clock before starting this to see how long it took to reply to all these questions . . . whoops )

[theteenedit]

January Tunes 🎵

January has been a big month for music, especially for me. I spent most of the summer adding to my ever-growing travel playlist, as well as goofing around (aka. dancing like an idiot) to all my favourite 80′s bangers (inspired by a very fantastic episode of Black Mirror set in that exact time...).

So, without further ado, here is this months’ playlist. 

1. Heaven Is A Place of Earth by Belinda Carlisle

“They say in heaven love comes first We'll make heaven a place on earth”

This song has always been good, and will never not be. I remember hearing it first in Wild Child as a much smaller, younger Lottie, and it has been one of my favourites ever since. 

2. Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars

“You’re like a mirror, reflecting me Takes one to know one, so take it from me”

This is a truly beautiful song. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over how wonderful and how utterly calming it is. Both the lyrics and the vocals are amazing. I’ve listened to it way too many times to count.... Whoops. 

3. S.O.S. by ABBA

“I really tried to make it out I wish I understood What happened to our love, it used to be so good”

I heard this for the first time in yet another movie (Mamma Mia), which is one of my favourite films of all-time. I could quote all of the songs and lines if you asked. Also, there is nothing better than Meryl Streep. 

4. Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

“Found my heart and broke it here” 

AND

“Had my first kiss on a Friday night, I don't reckon that I did it right But I was younger then, take me back to when”

This is a new one, recently released, and I’ll give you a few moments to guess how long it took me to fall in love with it..... Let’s just say: very, very quickly. This song is a work of art and absolutely worth the wait. 

5. Mid-Air by Paul Buchanan

“I want to live forever And watch you dancing in the air”

I really have no words for this one. It honestly makes me feel like I’m in love with someone I’ve never met, and that is really special. 

6. First by Cold War Kids

“Heavy as a feather when, you hit the dirt How am I the lucky one?, I do not deserve To wait around forever when, you were there first”

I really, really, really love this. I heard it on an episode of Suits and spent the next five minutes searching the internet for it through the words ‘first you get hurt, then you feel sorry’. It is a really beautiful song, and great to travel to. 

7. Scene Five - With Ears To See and Eyes To Hear by Sleeping With Sirens

“From the place I was, to the place I am, to the place I want to be For the mountains I've been climbing over and under and over”

I have always adored the ‘Scene _____’ songs by Sleeping With Sirens, but I only came across this one a couple of weeks ago, and it really hit a chord with me.

8. Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits 

“I can't do the talk like they talk on TV

And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you I can't do anything except be in love with you”

I heard this with my mum after just finishing my study of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, and just fell head over heels for it. I really enjoy the slightly modern feel the band has placed on a very old story, and the instrumentals are so lovely. 

9. Attention by The Weeknd

“Baby, you are so strong Baby, you are calm, you are so calm, yeah Tell me where it went wrong Tell me how to love, it's been so long”

Is it really a playlist of mine without a Weeknd song or two? I really like this song. It is written very well, and never fails to make me attempt to dance along to it. 

10. Girls and Boys In Love by The Rumble Strips

“Move to the city, loose all your heart, she weren’t that pretty, you ain’t too smart.”

Umm, Angus, Thongs and Snogging anyone? (From another movie!! Ahh!!) It was one of the first coming-of-age movies I ever saw, and definitely the first one I’d seen with someone dressed as an olive in it. I probably owe all my (non-existent) snogging and how-to-pluck-your-eyebrows knowledge to this piece of art. 

11. Friday, I’m In Love by The Cure

“Monday you can fall apart Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart Thursday doesn't even start It's Friday I'm in love”

I will be forever dancing to this song. Forever in love with this song. I’m obsessed, honestly... It’s just that good.

12. Boyfriend by Best Coast

“And know that he knows I know that he knows That he wants to be my boyfriend”

Another awesome song. I’ve been listening to it for ages, and dancing around to it for just as long. What a tune!

13. As The World Falls Down by David Bowie

“As the pain sweeps through, Makes no sense for you. Every thrill is gone.”

AND

“We're choosing the path Between the stars. I'll leave my love Between the stars.”

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh... I have been so loved up with this song for so long because of the movie it featured in, Labyrinth, which I still adore to this day. Goblins, a beautiful dance floor and David Bowie? What more could you ask for? It’s just magical, honestly. 

14. Die For You by The Weeknd

“You're scared to be lonely 'Specially in the night I'm scared that I'll miss you

Happens every time”

Yet another... I know, I know, but it needed to be done!! This song is a masterpiece, and will be sure to get you moving. 

15. Mr. Brightside by The Killers

“Jealousy, turning saints into the sea Swimming through sick lullabies Choking on your alibis”

This song is a classic, and just gets me up on my feet every time. I know every word (as many of us do) and I’m also crazy for the Killers.