#i’ve been avoiding spoilers like the fucking plague for weeks now

[faynthearted]

mmm I finally made it to season two of arcane and holy shit

[hauntedkeys]

For context, I’ve been avoiding spoilers for the silt verses like the plague for weeks and someone on my dash thought it’d be a good idea to blog about the literal outcome of the finale without tagging it as spoilers so now I know how it’s going to end and I’m fucking pissed

This is just your (kind of annoyed) reminder to tag recent spoilers for fandoms with the appropriate spoiler tags (please)

[stypidwthluv]

MAN. I have been avoiding Tumblr like the plague cause finals have kept me from watching the most recent episodes but DAMN. I got around to it and I am so glad I did.

This won’t be long cause I’m so fuckin fatigued right now but GIDAMN.

First of all, Eddie and May’s friendship is a fuckin godsend in an already close to perfect show.

Second, WTF is happening with Taylor and Lucy, cause I think most of us remember that Buck NEVER mentioned that the girl he kissed now works with him.

Third, getting to see Albert and Karen and Josh and Sue and just all of my favs was a salve to my soul after the week I’ve had.

(Just for context sake I have fallen down five times today ALONE because my legs are giving out and could barely make it to campus to take my last final because im feeling so weak (prob sick))

Fourth, Maddie and Jee. Just. THEM

Fifth, fucking May Day. I don’t have the words for May Day there was too much and yet so little.

Eddie finally back in turnout gear.

The dispatch fire and everything to do with that (trying to avoid major spoilers)

FUCKING JONAH (I don’t know where to begin with that one)

Papa. Bear. Bobby.

etc. etc.

Anyway I just wanted to post something so no one thinks I’m dead. Have a nice day y’all.

[thequibblah]

i sent an ask earlier today about reading come together abd I just got fully up to date!!! it is amazing and thank u for writing I’m just sad there isn’t yet more to read!!!! u are amazing!!! also because I only just found it and so haven’t been following the story before this point - is there a regular update schedule, or do I need to just keep checking periodically? also how many chapters do you think it will end up? (sorry for all the questions I’m just loving it so much!!!)

AH welcome to the world of caught-up readership where you don’t have to avoid my blog like the plague because I play fast and loose with spoilers!

and no worries for the questions, it’s been a while since I’ve answered something like this so it’ll be useful for anyone else in your boat.

updates are once every two weeks, on Saturdays (typically at midnight EST, but I let you guys know if that’s not going to happen). you can see the next update in my pinned post, and a longer schedule (that I update whenever I have delays) here. aaaand of course it’s not up to date NOW, but that’s mostly because I seem to have fucked up on when Saturday is lol. please hold, I’ll fix that shortly. when i do have a change to the upcoming update, I post about it here.

as for how many chapters it’ll be, I keep trying to take a guess and then feeling like I’ve messed it up, so I’ve stopped bothering. I cannot say how many chapters this’ll end up, but it will stop at the end of the gang’s seventh year!

[haloshornsinkstains]

Two Weeks [Obey Me]

Kore and Belphie, post lesson 16 (spoilers if you’re not there yet). 

--

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since the incident. Two weeks of the boys fussing over her.   Two weeks of Mammon clinging to her almost 24/7 (not that she could blame him) and sending death glares at the youngest when he dared show his face. Two weeks of outbursts that ended in her yelling that she was not Lilith and could they just STOP. Two weeks of Beel's quiet sadness. Two weeks of nightmares. Two weeks of Belphegor avoiding her like the plague.

It was enough.

It's not that she wasn't scared, the nightmares were proof enough of that. In the midst of all her apologies to Barbatos about being spotted and messing up he'd warned her she would probably never forget this, despite the merge, apologised that the best he could do was offer something to help her sleep, to combat the nightmares. She'd refused. "I don't run from my problems Barbatos." She sighed. "Even when that problem is someone trying to kill me." He sighed, she wasn't wrong. How many of the brothers had tried to kill her now? She offered him a small smile, weak but there. "Can I ask something?" He shook his head. "Lord Diavolo will not let you go back in time again." Kore waved a hand dismissively. "I'd rather not. Just… when you collapsed the realities…" she swallowed hard, staring down into the teacup as if it would give her the answers "promise me they're not all there waiting for me to come home?" He watched her carefully for a few moments, handing her a handkerchief as tears started to roll down her cheeks. "This is the first time I've seen you cry since that night." "Barb… please?" "That reality no longer exists. There is no one waiting for you there because there is no there." "Okay. Thank you." She dabbed her eyes gently. "He looked… they all looked so broken when they thought I was gone. I couldn't do that to them again. Not when they wouldn't know. After I made that terrible joke about haunting them." "You had better run along home now my lady, else Mammon comes after my head." She gave a small strained laugh at that, he knew she didn’t like the formalities, they only came out when she was in trouble or he was trying to distract her. "Thank you Lord Barbatos. And sorry again for all the trouble." He rose, taking her teacup and setting it down on the tray before guiding her to the door. "Don't be, it's a welcome change to be surprised for once." She paused at the door, enfolding him in a gentle hug. 'Full of surprises indeed.' He thought, though he didn't push her away. She gave him that sad smile before she made to leave for real this time. "One last thing Kore." She turned, one eyebrow raised. "My Lord has decided not to punish Belphegor any further." A long exhale. A nod. This time the smile she offered him had more life. "Let's have tea again Barbatos."

It's not that she wasn't angry either. She was furious. She had trusted him, had wanted to help him, she had put her faith in him and he had abused that. Had manipulated her and used her and to top it all off the little shit had killed her. She was almost used to the boys trying to kill her at one point or another, Lucifer had tried twice and been very serious about his intentions. But it had always been part of some loss of control, Leviathan had been so jealous his sin took over, Beel had been hungry and pissed about his custard and Lucifer had been absolutely fuming, both times. Angry in a way that made it abundantly clear where Satan had come come from. But Belphie hadn’t been out of control, maybe he had been angry, but he wasn’t angry at her specifically the way the others had been, he had been utterly fucking delighted when he was killing her. She could almost understand why he might blame humans for Lilith’s death, maybe even stretch towards understanding some of the anger - after all if someone had hurt someone she cared about then… well, it was good no one really had. But this was more than that, this felt like utter betrayal after she risked her life for him. The image of his smile as he killed her flashed through her mind, it was terrifying sure, but more than that, the manipulation and betrayal and being blamed for something that happened hundreds if not thousands of years before she was even thought of pissed. her. off. Everything she had done to try and fix the bonds between the brothers was crumbling around her because one demon had to hold a grudge and she was utterly done with that.

But more than the fear and the anger she was sad. Sad to have been betrayed by someone she thought she was growing to like. Sad to see the hurt and worry on the brothers faces. Sad to have lost the quiet comfortable feeling of home she got from the House of Lamentation after all this time. She felt like she’d apologised a thousand times, for being careless, for getting hurt, for making Mammon so upset, for making all of them so upset and worried. The sadness crept into everything like an infection, dampening the anger and the fear.

So here she was. Scared. Angry. Tired. And still determined to fix this goddamn family. And there was Beel making his sad puppy eyes at her again. ‘ Demons should not be capable of sad puppy eyes’. “Beel?” He startled, flinching away from her slightly, his cheeks flushing when her face fell. “Sorry.” Kore reached out, gently placing her hand on his. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment, steeling herself. She had to do this, she worked too hard on repairing their relationships to let one asshole with some truly terrible decision making skills break everything. “Where is he?” He flinched again, even as he tightened her grip on his hand. “Um… the attic I think.” ‘Right. Of course he’s in the attic, no one goes up there. Though I guess whatever spell Lucifer put on it is broken now if he can get up there. ’ Kore nodded. “Okay.” As she stood and turned to leave he caught her wrist in his hand. “Do… do you want me to come?” “I wish I could say I’d be okay but, please? I’d appreciate it.” He nodded, following her up towards the attic.

Belphegor was curled up in a pile of blankets, cuddled into his pillow like she’d found him so many times before. Back when the door was locked and she was trying so desperately to get him out of there. That might not have been this Belphegor, but the memories were the same even if the demon in them wasn’t the one in front of her. Or hadn’t been. Time travel and alternate realities made her head hurt. He stirred as they approached, slowly lifting his head to blink sleepily at them. It took a few seconds, but when he realised she was there he blanched, shifting back like a cornered animal. She wondered if maybe she should be a little pleased, be glad that he was worried, but he had the same damn sad puppy eyes that Beel did and she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Even if he had murdered her, she’d seen the way the others looked at him now. The way Mammon looked at him in this reality. So different from the one she came from, and dammit she needed to fix this. And she needed to mend things if she ever wanted to sleep right again. If Mammon ever wanted to sleep right again too, she guessed. “Hey.” When had her voice got so quiet and shaky? Did it even matter? “Why are you here?” It was sharp, defensive and hurt. Beel shifted uncomfortably beside her. Kore sighed. “We need to talk.” “What could we possibly have to talk about human?” She flinched just a little at the bite in his words, Beel placed a hand on her shoulder. “Belphie…” At the sound of his brother’s voice the younger demon wilted slightly, curling back into his blankets. “Why would you come to talk to me? You’re so scared of me you’re shaking.” He mumbled, and goddamnit both of them had the same sad puppy eyes. “I’m not…” But Kore could feel her body trembling now he’d pointed it out. “Maybe I am shaking, and maybe I am scared. But goddamnit I did not spend all this time trying to put this family back together to let it fall apart now.” “Why do you even care?” “I’m stubborn, ask anyone.” She padded slowly across the floor, signalling gently with one hand for Beel to stay where he was. “I’m stubborn and I’m well known for sticking my nose into things that don’t concern me. And if Lucifer trying to kill me twice didn’t stop me then I’m not letting you stop me either.” “I killed you.” His voice was so small, so different from the wicked tone she heard in her nightmares. “Why aren’t you more scared of me? Why don’t you hate me?” “You did kill me.” She nodded, settling herself down on the floor in front of him. “You killed me and you enjoyed it and honestly I’m really angry about that, and I am scared. Never thought I was allowed to be scared of dying, but hey, you learn something new every day.” She ignored the confused look he shot her, taking a deep breath. “But I also want this family to be a family again. And I think I’m going to haunt you forever, and that’s more than enough punishment for anyone.” “I could kill you again.” He snarled, and if the cornered animal metaphor hadn’t been true before it was now. He looked in pain, eyes darting around the room looking for an escape. “You could.” Kore steadied her breathing, glancing back over her shoulder towards Beel. “And I could marry Lord Diavolo and become Queen of Devildom, but the odds on either of those are slim. Not that I think you’d try again, but I’m not alone this time.” “What makes you think I wouldn’t try again?” “I’ve got eyes?” Belphie growled in response and she heard Beel shift behind her. “I know what remorse and guilt look like. I also know the Belphie I met before this was sweet, if a sarcastic little shit, and I know his brother thought we’d get along great. And maybe I thought that too.” Kore sighed, holding out a hand. “I’m not saying I forgive you just yet, and maybe you’ll decide you hate me anyway, but I’d like to at least try. Besides -” her mouth quirked up in a wicked smirk “-how are you going to enjoy my innate ability to piss off Lucifer if you’re always hiding from me?” That got a hint of a smile out of him and he gently reached out to shake her hand, muttering a quiet ‘truce’ under his breath. Somewhere behind them there was a choked sob and both heads whirled in Beel’s direction. Kore smiled softly. “C’mere you big softy.” She sighed, holding out her arms. Smothered in the suffocating warmth of Beel’s broad frame, her face pressed into Belphie’s neck she sighed. “Hey Belphie? Just so you know, I’m sorry.” “The fuck are you apologising for?” His voice cracked and she could swear she felt something wet drip onto her shoulder. “I should have come sooner.” Tears were filling her eyes now and she felt Beel squeeze them a little tighter. “I’m sorry too.”

She was going to save this damn family if it killed her. Again.

[justal0wk3yg4mer]

Things I’ve Said: Thief 2014 (Some Spoilers)

My words                                                                                                                  *Player/My actions*                                                                                                  Character dialogue

Nice title screen. Very dark and foreboding. 

*Reads a tip* Oh goodie, I get to be a peeping tom.

I like Garrett, he’s sassy. And hot damn that voice.

Y’all laying on the eyeshadow thick. Like, raccoon thick.

See Garrett has good morals, if necessary kill, if not necessary don’t kill. Erin WTF is your deal?

Now see, I think that was a bad idea. If she relies on that thing so much you are just gonna screw her over if there is a need for an escape.

Don’t tell her that, she has an inferiority complex.

Thank you! Robes ARE sketchy.

*Gets my rating back* I am a GHOST!!!!!!!!

Wait we like birds? I thought we avoided birds cause they’re snitches.

Oh shit, a year?! I thought maybe a few months, but a year! Damn, their just dragging this place through the mud turtle speed.

Old blind people always know what’s up and are cryptic about it.

You want coffee? No honey, what you need is a good ol’ knockout. Don’t worry, I’ll hook you up. 

This creep is gonna shot you. He’s the bad guy, he’s gonna-...........or maybe not? That’s it? Mentally scar the dude? Not very evil of you-*Thief-Taker General kills the man*-and there it is. Told you he’d shoot you.

*Listens to a conversation* Oh, only the wealthy can get cock rings? Good to know. *Listens for a few more minutes* And somehow this conversation got worse.

Is that a..............! It is! Finally, a plague mask! I was wondering when I would see one of these.

So, either the proportions on that woman are wrong, or she’s got a fatass.

*Meets Orion* Nope. Don’t like you and don’t trust you. I don’t care that you are ‘helping’ people, something is wrong with you.

You want Garrett to steal a book? That is the first thing you have said that actually interests me.

*Me thinking I can jump over a large gap like in Assassin’s Creed*              *Garrett Dies*                                                                                                 Fuck 

Brilliant, blood makes a sound.

Yo, fuck this. I did not sign-up to go to the upside down. And why does Erin sound mad?

*Garrett touches a painting oddly* Huh, guess Garrett is an ass man.

Erin is related to the Baron, calling it. *Chapter 3 memories play* Damn it. But you know what, good for her!

OMG! Is that a drag queen!? Yas bitch, tell his crusty, creepy ass off!  

I knew one of these holes would lead to a sex scene.

Thief-Taker General: Punish me mommy, I’ve been bad.                        Eeewwwwwwwwww. I didn’t need to hear that.

How much freaky cult BS is in this town?

Orion: You can’t just walk in the front doors.                                           No kidding? Damn, how else is a thief going to enter a building without using the front doors?

Why the fuck are people panicking? I haven’t done anything.

*Listens to a conversation* 4 to 5 days? I’m pretty sure the architect is dead. *Enters the architect’s study* Called it.

*Garrett falls and lands in front of several Nightwatchmen*               Garrett: Good Evening.                                                                                That’s kinda funny.

VIVA REVOLUTION!!!!!!!

Don’t you do it. Garrett no. We are getting Basso and getting the fuck out of here, you hear me!                                                                                    Garrett: It’s who I am.                                                                                    ITs wHO i aM

You fucker, I knew you were gonna be here. *Referring to the thief-taker general*

Oh great, I’m going from the crazies of the streets to the crazies on a fucking island. (BTW Garrett said almost the exact same thing right after I said this and I screamed. Thanks unreal.)

*Reads a tip* First of all, what the fuck are freaks? And second, freaks do what now?

Please don’t let this be a Victorian style Outlast.

*Door slams shut behind me*                                                                         Fuck.                                                                                                            *Doors are suddenly barracked behind me*                                                  FFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

Oh fuck, it’s the bonies! (Warms Bodies anyone?)

Orion did what to you? See, that is a red flag for me. I don’t like that, something is up with that guy.

He’s the Baron’s brother? Has to be the youngest, and I stress the young bit, brother. And of course he’s crazy, I knew he was suspicious! 

Why is it, whenever I get out of a major cutscene, 95% of the time I get force pushed? Like, I just watched a memory and now I’m in danger. That is oddly common in Garrett’s life, watch, next someone is going to be waiting for him on the ledge.                                                                          *Enter thief-taker general and his stupid rant*                                              You motherf*cker! I knew that shit was gonna happen, but I didn’t want you!

A hand for a leg, and a leg for a hand. Not how it goes but this game makes it work.

Fuck the graven. Who decided that burning the bridge was a good idea? Yeah, let’s destroy a major bridge that could have brought over supplies or let people come and go as they please. Fucking dumbasses.

BBQ anyone?                                                                                                *Few seconds later a person burning falls over*                                          Like I said, BBQ anyone?

Damn, I can’t swim across this little area? This is gonna be like Altair all over again.

Beggar Queen got more sneak game than Garrett. At least he didn’t jump. *She leaves* Correction, Queen’s sneak game is over 9000.

Ah yes, the final mission. It’s dark, it’s raining, and lighting flashes over a worn-down cathedral. I fucking love it.

Gaming logic. Fires are still burning when it is pouring down rain. And I have to shoot a WATER arrow to put the fires out. Genius.

My dude, you grapple?

These flowers were really pretty at first. Now, they just give me the willies. I’ll probably turn a corner and see a bonie. *Does exactly that* Fuck my life.

What the fu-No wait, why am I surprised? It’s more cult BS.

Oh no, she screamed and force pushed everyone, run away!

*Thief-Taker General enters for a final battle* Fuck off! You are the most stereotypical villain ever.

Well when you say it like that, all you ever wanted to do was murder Garrett. Not see him hang, there is a difference.

FINISH HIM! (If you didn’t read that with the Mortal Kombat voice, you’re wrong)

Garrett: I’m not alone down here.                                                             Yeah no shit. Wanna say that a little louder to let the bonies know as well?

Oh God, Orion has daddy issues.

Erin, WTF? Garrett literally said not two minutes ago that he wanted you. Not the primal.

Erin quit it, you’re scaring me. That ‘secret’ better not be some BS like “BTW you’re my dad.”

Erin: Garrett! I’m slipping!                                                                          Fuck you game, I already went through this.

And the darkness finally leads to dawn. Good job Garrett, you and the city live to see another night.

Ladies and gentlemen this weeks tally was lovingly name after how many time my dumbass said this. I give you:

Oh Pretty!: 168                                                                                

[sinfulavenue]

Episode 44, Wish Review

(Manga spoilers)

THIS - EPISODE - WAS - FAN - FRIGGIN- TASTIC!!!!

Aajajaxjcjszjcjdxn I feel so illiterate right now, I could literally just keyboard smash for the next minute to convey my excitement over this episode but that would be extremely lazy and this episode deserves better.

After a bit of a difficult beginning to season 3 with my enjoyment at times being marred by deleted scenes and a pace that never stopped to breathe, this episode reminded me why I fell in love with Attack on Titan in the first place. AGH the feels! I think my heart exploded!

It wasn’t just the action that made episode 44 great, it was the emotion. Literally last week I said that emotional detachment was a bit of a problem this season but certainly not in this episode, I was right there with the characters, feeling everything and oh my God it hurt!

EREN!! 💔

I’m woman enough to admit I cried ... and hugged my Eren plushie for an hour afterwards! ….(yes I have an Eren plushie alright and no I can’t sleep without him!)

The soundtrack was damn amazing too! Hands down the best episode of season 3 (so far) but I hope the best is yet to come.

Once again Kenny stole the show!

So the storming the cave scene was just ajsakajxshshcj PHENOMENAL! It was so good! I absolutely think the anime did it better than the manga because we got LEVI VS. KENNY ROUND 2!

Akashsbzk! Sorry for keyboard smashing so much but I’m finding it hard to express myself in proper words right now. My heart literally stopped at that moment when Levi was chasing one of interior MP’s, about to go in for the kill when there’s this almighty YEEEHAA! (or whatever the hell that noise was supposed to be 😂) then a gunshot and suddenly I’m like OH SHIT KENNY’S HERE! 😱 Ajzabsshwjdshs!

I know not all the changes have been popular this season but who the hell is going to complain about an additional Levi vs Kenny scene? I’m so grateful for this addition because while the first Levi and Kenny fight was spectacular, this one felt a lot more up close and personal, Levi fought with such anger and determination and this time there was nobody else getting in the way. The pair were really going for one another, blades clashing.

Thank you so much WIT for this godsend of a shot!

It was just so satisfying to see the uncle and nephew engaged in a one on one battle, creating even greater tension between the two characters before their complex history is finally revealed in a future episode.

Ha! Maybe if Kenny had focussed on actually fighting instead of dishing out sick burns he wouldn’t have got his ass kicked 😂.

I have to say Traute really shone in this scene too, using her wits to figure out what Levi’s squad were trying to do, even avoiding a strike from Mikasa which is saying a lot because that girl is a killing machine!

But please God tell me someone is looking after Hanji!!!

Historia’s Dilemna

In the manga Historia shot Eren a murderous glare before Rod came in with his box of syringes. It’s a shame this was cut but she still still gave him a few severe looking glances showing that her father’s manipulation was starting to work. Historia outright stated that she was going to eat Eren and fulfill her duty.

Kenny sure knows how to make an entrance (although I’m a little confused how he is miraculously no longer bleeding here).

I loved that of all people it was Kenny who tried to talk Historia out of going through with this, even if he was only doing it to spite Rod. Kenny tried to make Historia see that her father is nothing but a manipulative coward who won’t become a titan himself. However it’s a little sad that most of Kenny’s dialogue here was cut (although I guess we can’t really be shocked by cuts anymore 😒). In the manga Kenny outright told Historia that everyone including her father wished she’d never been born and drew her attention to the fact that he only started caring about her when his legitimate children were wiped out. Kenny also mentioned how Rod had tried to hide the fact that the Reiss family had lost the power of the titans and only started spilling when Eren sealed the hole in Trost. It’s a shame that this was cut as it gave some context as to what was happening behind the scenes the whole time and also showed a more perceptive side of Kenny. Keeping his full dialogue would have added even greater build up to Historia smashing the syringe but don’t get me wrong the whole scene was still amazing.

On another note, this episode gave us the first glimpse of Uri Reiss!!!

“I shouldn’t have happened”

OH MY GOD! My boy!! 💔 My poor, poor boy! It hurts even thinking about this scene. To see Eren’s fiery soul so broken ... it was beyond agony. In season 2 Hannes talked about how Eren always got back up, no matter how many times he was knocked down but this time Eren didn’t get up, he was so plagued by guilt for what his father had done that he was willing to die without a fight.

It hurts even more when you think about how he didn’t even had a choice, the titan power was unwillingly bestowed upon him and now he’s caught up in something greater than he is with no way out.

Honestly I think this was one of the saddest moments of the whole of Snk and kudos to Yuki Kaji for that powerful voice acting because it takes a lot to break my heart of stone!

Eren’s feelings of worthlessness clearly sparked a deep empathy in Historia because while he was saying all this we were shown a brief flash of her being rejected by her mother.

“I want you to live a life that you’re proud of”

Oh God and just when I thought I couldn’t get any more emotional, Historia suddenly remembers Ymir and hesitates before injecting herself. Ultimately it’s the words of Ymir that stop her from eating her friend in the name of fulfilling her royal duty.

Aghhh! I was in pieces by this point and when she smashed the syringe to the ground my tears of sadness became tears of joy and I wanted to jump around the room screaming!

Admittedly Historia went a little crazy after that, saying fuck humanity, hitting Eren and calling him a crybaby but cut the girl some slack she’s been through a lot!

OH and about that ending! THAT ENDING!😱 ajwjdwksjdwjefe

This is the most excited I’ve been for the next episode since this season started!!

The Remaining Episodes of the Uprising arc

So I think there is a great possibility that (with great restructuring) some of the skipped scenes will appear in the next few episodes. Here’s why.

So when it was announced that there would be 24 episodes in season 3 it was my assumption that there would be a fairly even split between Uprising and RTS, (as they are both 20 chapters long in the manga) so I reckoned 12 episodes each.

However the Uprising arc ends on chapter 69 and this episode (the 7th episode of season 3) took us to halfway through chapter 66 meaning there are roughly three and a half chapters left to cover. That really isn’t a lot and based on how quick the pace has been, three and a half chapters is unlikely to fill five full episodes. This is what makes me wonder if some of the skipped scenes will be worked in somehow, because if they aren’t then I can see the arc ending by episode 10!

I just want to put this out there. If the Uprising arc is concluded in less than 12 episodes I will be extremely angry and disappointed because this arc deserves better than being crammed into a measly 10 episodes and it certainly deserves just as much screen time as the RTS arc.

The preview of episode 45 looked like it could be setting up for the scene where Levi tells Historia to become the queen and I’m still holding out hope that the rest of Eren’s titan experiments at the cabin will appear in a flashback. I get not having them at the beginning as it wouldn’t have been the most exciting way to kick off a new season but I’ll be pretty sad if those experiment scenes have been cut altogether. Honestly it will be such an anti-climax if Eren just gains the hardening ability without us seeing the blood, sweat and tears he went through trying get hard (hehehe) back at the cabin.

But the real question is how will the arc end? Will we still see Historia punching Levi? If so then how will this come about if all the scenes leading up to this moment are missing? Will these scenes be worked in but in a different way? Or will the ending be completely different?

I realise I have more questions than answers so I guess we will have to wait and find out ... I’m sure WIT have a plan right? 😅

I don’t want to end this review on a sour note because this was such a good episode so instead I will end by saying once again how much I enjoyed episode 44 and I eagerly await episode 45!

[saventhhaven]

Together

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Tags: Season 12 Spoilers!, angst, fluff, angry!Dean, depressed!Dean

Word Count: 2,410

(Gif not mine)

The Winchesters were not doing well. You couldn't blame them. With Cas dead and their mom God only knows where they had every right to be upset. Dean was far worse than Sam. Sam had a way of looking on the bright side of things, no matter the situation. He still had hope that you could bring Cas back. That you could find their mom. Sam would shoot you weak smiles every now and then to try and convince you everything would be okay. Dean was quiet. More quiet than you had ever seen him before. All of your attempts to cheer him up fell flat. He was drinking more and sleeping less, which was never a good sign. But what scared you the most was how empty he looked. Although Sam still practically towered over him, Dean was a tall man. With his long legs, broad, muscular torso, and large frame, you knew there wasn't much that could truly knock him down. But despite all of this, never before had you seen him look so small. There were dark circles under his eyes that didn't seem to go away. Had you not been able to see all the grief he was trying to conceal, you would have described his lack of emotion as soulless. This was how the famous hunter dealt with his pain. He bottled it up and allowed it to consume him until it practically killed him from the inside out. You were trying to be there for him, but he wasn't letting you. Sam told you not to take it personally - that him pushing everyone away was normal when he got like this. You knew he was right, but it was hard to not let it get to you. You had shared things with Dean about yourself that you had never told anyone else. He always listened and never judged you for your feelings. But if he wouldn't let you be there for him, what was the point of him being there for you? Relationships were supposed to be a two-way communication, but lately, it felt like everything was one-sided. You might as well be talking to a brick wall.

You sighed heavily, taking a swig of the amber liquid in the whiskey glass on the table. You had been sitting like this for hours, just staring at the wall. You weren't sure what else there was for you to do. Every attempt at a win lately had turned into a dead end. Sam lowered his book to look at you from across the table. He didn't look nearly as exhausted as his brother did, but you could still tell just how tired he was. The recent circumstances had worn you all out.

"You okay, Y/N?" You rolled your shoulders. God, no, you weren't okay. It felt like your entire life was collapsing around you, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Venting to Sam wouldn't fix a thing, although you knew he wouldn't complain. If anything, you would bet Sam could relate exactly to how you were feeling.

"I'm hanging in there," you finally answered. Sam nodded, causing his hair to move slightly.

"That's all we can really do until we figure something else out." You snorted into your whiskey glass.

"Yeah, no shit." The clock ticked quietly in the background of the room. It was in no way loud, but the constant reminder that time was passing and everything was going to shit was almost enough to make you stand from the table and rip the damn thing from the wall. Everything felt completely and utterly hopeless. You glanced over at your gun on the long, wooden table. You could always try to pick up a hunt to blow off some steam, but you weren't sure how much that would do for you (or the brothers) in the long run. You sighed again and opened your laptop. It wouldn't do anything, you decided. But at least it may provide a good distraction. Sam had already resumed his book, nose practically buried within the hardbound pages. The sound of glass shattering, however, had you both startling in your seats. You weren't sure how long it took for Sam's reflexes to kick in, or yours, for that matter. It couldn't have been more than half a second after the initial clamor that both of you were out of your chairs, rushing towards the noise. The continuous stream of bangs, thuds, and cracks had your heart racing in your chest.

"Dean?" Sam yelled. You could already tell the source of the noises were coming from behind the door with the golden eleven.  As you approached his room, you heard glass shatter loudly against the floor.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean shouted. You flung open the door and burst in, Sam only a matter of mere steps behind you. Your eyes immediately widened at the scene in front of you. His room was completely in shambles, and by how it looked, he was nowhere near finished working out his rage. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that you and Sam were even in the room, Dean roared in anger again, flipping his wooden dresser.

"Dean," you tried. He shoved the contents from the surface of his desk to the floor in one sweeping motion. "Dean," you repeated, louder this time. He snatched the lamp from his end table, and you quickly went over to him, shrugging off Sam's hand of warning on your shoulder. "Dean!" You latched onto the arm holding the lamp in the air, and he jerked in surprise.

"Get away from me, Y/N," he growled lowly. You shook your head firmly.

"No." Sam took a step in your direction, and you held out an arm, silently telling him you had this one. Dean's expression darkened, and you could see the conflict on his face.

"Y/N-"

"I'm not going anywhere." You were all talk in moments like these. Dean knew that. He knew that if he told you to get out again, you would go. But for both of your sakes, you had to uphold the strong facade. After what seemed like an eternity later, his shoulders slumped, and he allowed you to take the lamp from his hands. As you placed it back down on his bedside table, the shattered mirror behind him caught your attention. Some of the shards had stayed intact, jagged lines all reaching for the point of impact. Understanding hit you, and you gingerly reached for Dean's bloodied hand. Pieces of glass stuck out from his swollen knuckles, blood streaming from the wounds. "Can you grab me some stuff for stitches?" you asked Sam quietly. "We'll be in my room." Sam nodded in reply, leaving you alone in the quiet room with his brother. The two of you stood in the tense silence for a moment before you opened your mouth to speak.

"You don't have to reprimand me, Y/N," Dean grumbled, halting your flow of words. "I know I shouldn't have trashed everything. You don't have to say it." You frowned, pressing your lips together. Did Dean really think that much of you? He really thought you would run in on him essentially having an emotional breakdown and then yell at him because of it? You knew he was in a bad place right now, but that still hurt.

"I was going to ask if you were okay," you said quietly. Dean laughed humorlessly, bobbing his head.

"Am I okay?" he repeated. The tension in the air was thick. Difficult to breathe through, almost. You held your breath as you waited for him to continue. Dean let out another shout of anger, kicking his bedframe hard. "Oh, yeah, I'm friggin' peachy!" he yelled sarcastically. "In fact, I'm fan-fucking-tastic!" You flinched. You couldn't help it. When Dean got angry like this, it scared you. He took note of your startled body language, and the hard expression on his face faded slightly. You nodded your head towards the hallway.

"Come on," you urged softly. "We can clean this up later." Dean only paused for a moment before stepping over the accumulating pile of broken furniture pieces. As he quietly began down the hall to your room, you switched off his lights and closed the door. 

There were so many things you wanted to say, but ironically, no words would come. What do you say to someone who feels like everything that's gone wrong is their fault? You could try to tell him that none of this could have been prevented, but there was no way in hell he would believe you. You knew Dean Winchester. Any time someone he knew or loved got hurt, ion his mind, there was always something he could have done. Dean was constantly plagued by thoughts that had him second-guessing everything he did. His head would come up with impossible plans of what could have been done differently., Even when hiding behind a smile, you could still see all the guilt he carried with him from the misconception of always believing he could have done more. The problem was, he didn't see what you saw. Dean never saw how many lives he saved. He only saw the ones he lost.

By the time the two of you arrived back in your room, there was already everything you would need to patch up Dean's hand placed neatly on your desk. You made a mental note to thank Sam later. Dean took a seat upon your mattress somberly, the fabric sinking beneath him. As you watched him with careful eyes, you could tell he was doing everything he could to avoid eye contact. You sighed, reaching for the tweezers Sam had brought in. When you wordlessly pulled up a chair beside him and began pulling glass shards from his hand, he looked at you in surprise.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" You freed one of the larger shards from underneath his skin and dropped it into the trashcan.

"What do you want me to say, Dean?" you asked tiredly. "I already know if I go for any of the 'we'll get through this,' you'll just blow me off. I could try to get you out of your head, but you won't listen to me." He met your gaze, and for the first time in weeks, his eyes held emotion. "I've been trying, Dean. But it feels like you don't want me to try anymore." He tore his eyes away from you, but before he did, you could see the guilt that filled them. You sighed in despair, returning your attention to his wounded hand.

"I never want you to stop trying," he whispered. You couldn't believe your ears.

"Then talk to me," you begged. "Please. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours so I can help you." Dean shook his head.

"It doesn't matter," he insisted. With a long pause, he swallowed heavily. "I don’t matter." 

You almost dropped the tweezers in shock.

"You don't matter?" you echoed. "Dean, you're one of the people that matters the most! You've saved more people than I can even begin to count. You've saved the whole goddamn world! More than once!"

"But I couldn't save Cas!" he snapped. "Or mom!" You shook your head.

"You can't put that on yourself. You didn't see Lucifer coming. None of us did!" Dean pulled away, moving to the opposite side of the mattress, and looking at the ground despondently. You hated seeing him like this. It hurt your heart. He was the man that you loved more than anything in the world, and he was in pain, and there was nothing you could do to make it go away. You took the needle and thread and went to crouch in front of him. "I know you're hurting," you started, pushing the sharp point under the skin. "Cas was my family, too. And believe me, if there were some way I could go back and put myself in his shoes, I would. I would trade his life for mine if it meant we could have him back." Dean shook his head.

"Don't talk like that. Having Cas here, but you gone wouldn't make anything better. We can't live our lives on 'what ifs,'" you continued. You blinked away tears. You had to be strong for him.

"It doesn't matter," Dean said again.

"Like hell, it doesn't. What happened to the Dean that told me I had to keep fighting no matter what? That no matter how bad things get, we can never give up?" He looked into your eyes coldly.

"Well, I guess that guy's long gone now."

"No," you disagreed. "No, he's not. You see, I can still see him in there. He's just lost right now." You finished the last stitch, pulling the thread taut. "After all these years, you never let me give up, Dean. Now it's time for me to return the favor."

"Don't waste your time, Y/N," Dean said seriously. "It's too late for me." You squeezed his good hand.

"You're wrong. You're so wrong. It's never too late." He stood, turning his back to you.

"And that's where you’re wrong. I'm broken beyond repair." Dean reached for the doorknob.

"Dean Winchester, you get your ass back here right now!" you ordered. He ignored you, pulling the door open. You ran up behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. "I know you think it's all over. I know how bad this hurts." You couldn't hold back your tears anymore. "But I need you to keep fighting. This world needs you. Sam needs you. I need you." Dean turned in your arms and looked down at you. "And I know you're trying to pull away from Sam and me because you think that'll make it easier. But I need you to understand that even if you don't need me, I will always be here for you." His lower lip trembled slightly, and then Dean Winchester broke.

"I do need you, Y/N." Tears rolled down his cheeks, but he didn't bother to wipe them away. "You and Sammy," he sniffed. "You're all I've got left now." You pulled him closer to you as he buried his face in your neck, and pressed a kiss to the side of his head.

"We're gonna get through this Dean," you promised, carding a hand through his brown locks. "Together."

Thank you so much for reading! If you liked it, please leave me feedback! I love hearing from all of you!

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@cole-winchester @alexwinchester23 @1-am-made-of-stardust

[landoftheoutsiders]

Day 1: An Introduction to the Madness

So, I have a vlog channel, I have a physical journal, and I have friends to talk to as well as a therapist... but nothing really beats a good old fashioned “blog” post to an abyss of strangers. Plus, said therapist wants me to journal more. So. Lets talk. 

Just a warning, this one is going to be a very long stream of conscious that captures my previous year. I’ll try to keep it interesting. Trigger warning: I get dark, and I’m very open about my mental health. I keep details out, but tones of suicide, eating disorders, and self harm are there.

     Its the summer of 2016, and I’m stable-ish, ready to take the dive into adulthood and move to Atlanta and live the city life. I grew up in a small town in North Carolina where nothing much really happens except for your casual school shooting and freezer being sold on craigslist with a dead woman inside. Oh, be prepared for the dark humour and tones of nihilism. I wanted to explore and see what else the world had to offer.       The move happens. I’m driving down i20 with my dog, and I have to pull over and take a nap from the overwhelming amount of anxiety and anxiety induced nausea. Fast forward to October. I have maybe attended two or three classes at my university, I essentially spend all of my time in my bedroom, and I am a nanny without a cause. The kids I cared for were 13, 15, and 17--I know, I’m confused as to why I was hired to be a nanny as well. If anything, I was moreso a personal assistant for the mother than anything else. They were a great family, but I missed having constant interaction with people on a daily basis (I was a server when I lived in NC). After several weeks of consideration, I came to the decision, once again, that it sounded like a good idea to end everything. I laid in my closet for about an hour thinking about how I was going to do everything, mentally saying goodbye to my dog, and just mentally arguing with myself about why I should and shouldn’t do this. I ended up telling myself that if I could count backwards from 100, then I could go through with it. Spoiler alert: I passed out and woke up to my mother calling me.      Honestly, then, I was a little pissed off, but mostly scared about my mental state and conflicted on what I needed to do. No way in hell was I going to call my therapist because that was a one way ticket into the nearest mental hospital, and no way I was going to tell anyone that knew me personally because I didn’t want them to think I was seeking attention, trying to play the victim in some way, or for them to think that anything was their fault. Care-taking at its finest. Anyways, I just avoided my closet like the plague for a few days and told my therapist the next time I saw her which was maybe five(?) days from the night I almost killed myself. Needless to say, she was pissed off that I didn’t tell her what happened or tried to reach out sooner.      Fast forward to January. I meet a really nice guy at a small group thing with a church. He’s really sweet, can sing, play guitar, has blue eyes... whole nine. We hit it off and start dating in February. Around March, we start sleeping over at each other’s apartments and things are pretty steady. We moved in together at the end of that month. I finally feel like I’ve met someone who can handle my crazy. I got a job at a local pet store--life is great. Then April hits. My dog who is essentially my child, therapy dog, and world all wrapped up in a four legged, fluffy, white package dies in my arms at the vet. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much or so hard in a public place before. I had no shame. She was my rock, and my rock shattered. I was even more of a hot mess than I normally was. I wasn’t eating (which wasn’t new, but more on that later), I was sleeping all the time, crying all the time, and just wanted the world to stop. I was over it.       And then comes June. That is when my boyfriend and I broke up. I had no place to live except with an acquaintance. I stayed with her for about a month and a half. She knew a couple girls needing a third roommate, so I jumped in on that deal because it seemed perfect (emphasis on seemed). Things are going great for the most part. I got a new dog, started a new semester at my university, was still loving my job, and thought that my life was coming back together--I already had my hard part of 2017, right? Wrong. Very, very wrong.      September proved to be the icing on the strugglebus cake. I stopped eating altogether for a few days, freaked out, and called a friend who was recovering from an eating disorder. She said to call my therapist and tried to reassure me that my therapist might not send me to a treatment facility. So reluctantly, I called my therapist. Here is a taste of how that conversation went: Therapist: What’s wrong, is everything okay? Me: Well, there isn’t a gun to my head or anything.  Therapist: Okay... I’m glad. What is going on though? Me: I haven’t eaten. Therapist: Since when? *Its thursday* Me: Monday? Therapist: I’m going to send you numbers for treatment centers. Call them immediately and go get assessed.  Me: Do I have to actually go to treatment though? Therapist: If you don’t go, I can’t continue seeing you.

     Looking back, I was definitely being a little shit for that comment, but I was petrified. Treatment centers were something that I had been avoiding for several years, and I wasn’t about to just all of a sudden go to one. So, September 25th, I packed a dinner and went to my hell on earth. I was recommended to go to their php program, but I was still holding on to my full time job and school, and there was no way that was about to happen. One week later, I was dropping my classes and going into their php program. Putting my life on hold like that was one of the hardest things I think I’ve honestly ever done.       I ended the year of twenty-fuck-teen in their iop program, and went to aftercare shortly after the new year. I’m leaving their program altogether minus seeing my new therapist on Thursday this week. It is a very bittersweet feeling. I never thought I would miss being at that place. I’ve made a few really good friends since being there though. I guess that is the one good thing that came out of going to treatment.       As for my eating disorder? I’m still fucked up, but at the same time, I’m just tired of trying to get better when it seems like I can’t do it. Its almost as if the hope of starting a new chapter of my life eating disorder free is always going to be out of my reach, but I guess we’ll find out eventually.  Enough of my boring, shitty life for now. Maybe I’ll be able to actually keep this thing going. I tend to forget or lose my journals, and I don’t have time to edit vlogs right now. I hope this didn’t bore you too much. Round of applause if you actually made it this far. Proud of you. You’re the real mvp. 

-- Rian Dianna

[thank-your-lucky-stars]

Okay. Having time away from tumblr yesterday really gave me a chance to sort of...be okay about stuff for a bit. I mean, I’m not, but I got some ~clarity about things that I need to talk about.

It was good to be away from Robron and I only came on tumblr to reply to birthday messages (thank you again everyone!) but I didn’t look at my dash or anything. I had a Robron-free day, which was what I needed. 

When I got home last night I did come on tumblr and look at my dash a little, and just like....seeing all the Robron gifsets and stuff, I didn’t really feel anything. Like before all this crap, I’d always feel joy when I looked at them. The past few days I have only felt sadness. Last night I didn’t really feel anything.

In some weird and twisted way, I feel like I have been “cured”. I know I was (am?) in too deep with Robron and I probably was from day one, but over the past year especially I have really relied on them in a way that is unhealthy. I have spoken about this a few times, my reasons for it and what-not, so I won’t go into that again (you can probably find the posts in my #personal tag if you need me to elaborate) but while the good times can leave me with an incredible high, the bad times can really....fuck me up. And that’s not normal. I literally laid awake most of Thursday night, unable to sleep, tossing and turning, and any sleep I did get was plagued with dreams about what happened Thursday (despite the fact I didn’t even watch the episodes) and I was left feeling genuinely sick to my stomach. That isn’t normal. That isn’t healthy. That isn’t fun.

I’m not deluded and I never have been; I know how soaps work and I know couples more or less never get a happy ending unless they leave the show together. I’m not a mug; I’ve watched soaps for more than 20 years, since I was a literal child, so I know the drill. It doesn’t mean I can’t be affected or hurt by what I see, or that I can’t think that the way this has been written, or the timing of this is absolutely awful. Because it is. I’m pretty certain that’s not even a matter of opinion; I think that’s probably a fact. 

I spoke on Friday about how I’m not a positive person and me being positive about Robron isn’t actually like me, yet my faith in ED and my love for Robron somehow carried me through. I had real trust and faith in their storytelling, in their writing (for the most part), and in the words of encouragement they gave us on twitter and in interviews and what not. I believed it all, and I was wrong to, because here we are.

So let’s talk about where we are; it’s shit and lazy. The cheating crap has been done to death, I know it’s a soap but for a soap that has been on form over the past year or so, you’d think it’d try to break the mould and do something a little....different. But nope. I always, deep down, figured something like this would happen one day, but I always hoped it wouldn’t be for at least another year or so. But it has happened, and even though I haven’t watched the episodes, from what I have heard it wasn’t even well written. Which is....a shame. If they’re going to fuck up, at least fuck up right. Although I do sort of like....appreciate that this probably happened in the “best” way. I’d rather it be under the circumstances it was under than have Robert just getting bored and randomly shagging someone one day. I’d rather this than how things went when Paddy randomly started cheating on Rhona even though their marriage was pretty solid at the time. I appreciate that this is probably the “best” way it could’ve happened, even though the timing is crap and it shouldn’t have happened at all. But whatever.

Last night I was almost feeling positive in the sense that “well, at least that’s over and done with now.” - like the worst has happened, it’s happened early, so maybe once it’s happened it won’t ever happen again? Cheating is the one thing I struggle with, the one thing I find hard to forgive, but at the same time I don’t see things as black and white, and regarding the circumstances of Robert’s actions, and the fact he was drunk (no excuse, but he wasn’t of sound mind to give proper consent) it makes it a little more bearable, I guess. I can forgive him, depending on how he deals with it. (Whether I can forgive the writers is another thing.)

But whether I forgive Robert or not, Robron have been tainted. I - and others - can still ship them and love them, but it doesn’t mean it’ll be the same. Their relationship was messed up and unhealthy in many ways, but in another way it was “pure” from cheating. I loved that with Aaron, it was different for Robert. He was meant to be the one that was different from the others. And I still believe that, definitely, but at the end of the day Robert has still been unfaithful, and that can never ever be erased. We can forgive, and maybe sometimes we can forget, but it’ll still be there in their history.

And now we have the fact that Rebecca will probably end up pregnant. Spoilers are saying there’s a pregnancy, and while it hasn’t been confirmed that it’s Bex, I’d literally bet my last quid on it. And when I read those spoilers earlier, I didn’t even feel anything. I didn’t feel sick or want to cry. I just felt...disappointed. I almost laughed. It is the most predictable thing in the world, it has been done approx. 288442848942 times and yet here we are. 

Maybe Emmerdale will surprise us. Maybe there will be a massive twist. I read something on twitter, apparently someone on DS said that a “source” said that Bex and Robert didn’t actually have sex, that Robert can’t remember and Bex is lying or something??? I mean LOL that would be amazing if that was the case, but it’s blatantly....not. At this stage, I don’t have faith in ED to be that clever about it, and even if that was the case, they still put us through all this stress for like......nothing. And after this week, I really don’t believe anything “sources” say. 90% of them clearly don’t know all the facts, all the details, and the rest of them seem to completely make things up. So I wouldn’t believe a single word of that.

Do I think Robron will get through this? Eventually, yeah. But it’ll drag on and on and be boring as fuck, and one thing Robron have never been is boring. We now know that Robert still hasn’t told Aaron by the time he’s released from prison, on the 6th of April. So that’s another few weeks of secrets and shifty behaviour and lies. Awesome. And then who knows when Aaron will find out once he’s home? God forbid ED actually have Robert own up and be honest about it, making a change from all the other cheating crap. So then we have to wait....and then we’ll have the pregnancy stuff (which is no doubt Bex), adding more ~drama and making the eventual reveal even more explosive. YAWN.

So we have - at the very least - another month of crap, it seems. I’d like to think ED will throw in some surprises, will surprise us in a good way, but I can’t see any light at the end of this anymore.

And in a way, I feel like I’ve been cured. I used to try to plan my life around Robron, like I’d try to avoid making plans on nights when I knew they would be on screen (or at least their major eps anyway) and even if I did go out when I knew they were on I’d be thinking about them and feel like I was missing out, even though I’d always watch the episode as soon as I got in.

Not anymore. That’s going to change. I don’t want to be ruled by them. I don’t want my moods to be influenced by them. I don’t want to only feel really ridiculously happy because of them and I don’t want to feel sick and miserable because of them. It’s not right and it’s not healthy and I feel like this whole thing has just, in a way, killed it for me. Not completely, but enough for me to sort of....love them a normal amount, maybe. I mean the spark has gone and I don’t know if or when it’ll come back. 

There are plenty of characters I like/love from Emmerdale, and I enjoy their stories the appropriate amount. I can be affected by stories in good ways and bad ways without it having any major impact on my life. Maybe Robron will get to be like that now too. Maybe I can watch a bad episode for them and not lay awake at night feeling sick and upset about it. Maybe.

I don’t know. I think I’m going to be up and down about this. I’m no longer optimistic about their future but I hope that’ll change. I’ll never be as positive again, that’s for sure. I’m sort of torn between feeling like “okay, the world is shit. there’s bigger things to worry about than a fictional couple.” and “yeah, the world is shit, my life isn’t great, and that’s why I need them to focus on and to be a light in my life.” - I feel like I’ll go back and forth between the two.

I’m still upset and angry and disappointed. I hope that will change, even if a miracle happens and somehow this manages to be okay and Emmerdale somehow manage to fix this. At this point it’s hard to see how it realistically can be fixed, but whereas once upon a time I had faith that they would fix it (like in November), now I’m not so sure they can fix it in a way that is satisfying for me and for everyone else too.

I just hate how things have so dramatically changed not just for me but for everyone. I admire the people still trying to find the light and I understand why even some of the positive people are having to take a step back from the fandom as things are really negative and dark right now. I understand it all and I respect everyone’s views and opinions on this, I honestly do. I just hate that we’re all - not just me, but everyone - having to deal with this in the first place when just three weeks ago we were so so happy and almost excited about the direction we thought things were going in.

This post is a mess but I needed to get my feelings out. I don’t know if anyone will feel the same; I think everyone is feeling a bit confused and messed up at the moment. I just feel like we’re going to have to sort of accept this new era of Robron, accept that things are crap and will be for some time, and we’re either going to have to somehow deal with it and move on, or move on to something else all together, or just learn to live with loving Robron in a different way.

It’s going to be rocky. I think most of us will be very back and forth about it all. But I just want you all to know that I’m still here, and even if I need to take a step back at any time, I’m not planning on leaving the fandom. You guys are the only shining light right now and even if we feel like we might lose Robron (or at least the joy and “purity” of Robron), I don’t even want anyone to feel like we’re going to lose each other.

[rednovagalaxy]

So I watched all of WandaVision for the past week and through unintentional means I decided to do something fun: I decided to spoil the first eight episodes (including the big twists) and later watch the show with my parents. The experiment is this: can you still enjoy the show even if you know what the twists are?

The answer to that question was yes. Because in a good show, at least if the twist is done right, the rewatchability of these shows go up as there is more content to get out of than just watching it on the surface. You get more emotionally charged as the mystery unfolds in every episode. Even in the most mundane episodes, there’s that one scene that changes everything now knowing the twist beforehand. That was my feelings towards WandaVision throughout its entire run. But why am I mentioning this?

Well I remember about how people discuss about spoiler culture and the need to avoid spoilers until people actually saw them because it would “ruin the movie” in anyway and I found that notion to be ridiculous as hell. First off, if spoilers DO ruin a story in any way, than the story was shit to begin with, because they were more concerned about shock value than creating a satisfying story. Secondly, so what? Getting spoiled is not the end of the world as some of these people like to say they do. Sadly, my parents are one of those weirdos who are averse to spoilers but I’m not going to shit on them just because they don’t want to get spoiled while watching it. Part of spoiler culture is the rise of mystery-mongering, a colloquial set of tools to set up a mystery and execute them.

The best example I can think of is the Sequel Trilogy of Star Wars, as it gets my point across the best. One of the most contentious things about the Sequel trilogy is this nagging artificial mystery revolving around Rey’s parents. In The Force Awakens, it’s portrayed with this weird hallucinatory bullshit constantly throughout the movie while at the same time putting so much weight and drama behind it that screams “THIS WILL MEAN SOMETHING” in the next episode. But then when it actually happens... it wasn’t satisfying. Granted the reveal was good (or at the very least it was better than the “Rey was a Palpatine” twist) but the build up was unsatisfying because they put this artificial mystery nonsense that dragged out for far too long, which put higher expectations on the audience than they ever should. Honestly if J.J Abrams fucked off with this mystery box bullshit, his movies would be better for it. 

My point is that WandaVision not only doesn’t do this any of this crap but stays on par on what the premise was set out to do: give Wanda a character arc. Like I said previously, I’m not worried as to whether spoilers will ruin the show for me (and granted that I’m one of those impulsive fuckers who will read TVTropes everyday) because the show at the end of the day was trying to tell a satisfying story. The MCU never used mysteries outside of the Infinity Stones to make 20+ movies,TV shows, and comic books for the past 13 years that Marvel has been producing them. And with Disney Plus releasing episodes weekly rather than all at once, people are starting to realize that binge-watching is not only not the greatest way to watch television, but it’s unhealthy period. Like how is it different than binge-eating or drinking?? And that’s not getting into the sheer amount of crappy theories that were jossed to the point where the creators were aware that something like this will happen and have said that they will be disappointed with that attitude. WandaVision has not been one of the best MCU projects to date, it’s also one of the most satisfying shows I’ve seen in a while in a plague of films that try to be shocking rather than tell a good story. 

[junker-town]

'The Bachelor' episode 7 recap: Oh God, Corinne’s gonna win this whole dang thing, isn’t she?

Nick “Handsome Software Salesman” Viall keeps sending home supposed front-runners.

Hello Sports Bachelor Nation. Guess what? Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Now, a lot of people have very strong feelings about Valentine’s Day, and I don’t mean to disrespect your love or your hate for it, but I honestly couldn’t care less about Feb. 14. In my experience, you’re either in a relationship and stop to buy some Russel Stover chocolates on your way home because you forgot to do something actually thoughtful, or you’re not in a relationship, and you stop to buy some Russel Stover for yourself a day later, when they’ve gone on sale. Big whoop.

However, it does seem appropriate that we usher in this day of love by spending the evening before watching women get their hearts ripped out on national TV. Let’s do the damn thing!

NICK WONDERS IF HE CAN DO THIS, AND CHRIS HARRISON IS LIKE, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS?

We spend an inordinate amount of time in the beginning of this episode wondering if Nick Viall can do this, because he sent three women home and had a nervous breakdown at the end of the last episode. The women wonder if Nick can do this. Nick wonders if Nick can do this. Chris “Crest White Strips” Harrison — who shows up on the beach in St. Thomas wearing linen, with his shirt sleeves AND pant legs rolled up, like some psychologist on vacation — wonders if Nick can do this.

We viewers are probably the only ones who don’t wonder if Nick can do this, because of course Nick can do this, because that’s why Nick’s on the show in the first place: To do this. We all know (we do all know this, right? C’mon guys, tell me you know this) that there’s no way he’s tossing away half a season of ratings because his heart hurts.

My main takeaway here is that Sad Nick sitting on an overturned boat on a beach is a lot like Sad Ben Affleck. They both knows what they’ve done, they both know they’re the ones who got themselves into this whole mess, and they both have to sit there in front of a large audience and simply take it.

WE’RE GOING STREAKING TO BIMINI, BRING YOUR GREEN HAT BIKINI

But then Nick snaps out of it, as we knew he would, and the gang heads off to an island called Bimini, which is not only an island, but also the thing that goes on top of a motor boat to provide shade to those aboard.

Fun fact! Anyway — hometown dates are next week, so whoever is left at the end of this episode gets to bring Nick home to meet her family.

The stakes, they are high.

Which is why, when Vanessa gets the one-on-one date, Corinne goes, “you lucky bitch.” I think at this point most of the women kind of like Corinne, so, while they might’ve blown a collective gasket earlier in the season, now they’re just like Miley Cyrus’ friend Leslie in that song where Leslie’s like, “oh, she’s just being Miley.” The gang rolls their eyes and moves on.

I don’t blame Corinne, however, because she hasn’t had a one-on-one date yet, and here’s Vanessa, going on her second. Corinne gets personal and makes fun of Vanessa for being a saint, given that she’s a special needs teacher. I’m kind of here for this. Not in terms of making fun of Vanessa for doing a very noble profession, but for Corinne’s suggestion that maybe Vanessa is using her job as a bit of a high-horse upon which to perch. Especially since, in an earlier episode, Vanessa gave Nick a scrapbook that she said her students made her that was all about how wonderful she is. A scrapbook that, — and I’m just playing devil’s advocate, here — Vanessa might’ve actually made herself.

We haven’t seen much of this in action on the show, but I wouldn’t be surprised if behind the scenes, when the women are just chilling with each other, Vanessa is low-key super annoying about how she’s a Good Person. Good People always love to tell you they’re Good People.

And Good People, in my experience, are the most insufferable kind of People.

VANESSA AND NICK MAKE OUT UNDER WATER

My key takeaway so far, as Nick and Vanessa lie on a yacht, is that I would love to go on a tropical vacation. Nick appears to be wearing a Livestrong bracelet, which is the funniest thing I’ve seen since the stupid romper Danielle L. wore right before she got the boot last episode.

Check this out:

Hahaha is sweaty Nick wearing a Livestrong bracelet? #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/sua1VFtMpg

— Charlotte Wilder (@TheWilderThings) February 14, 2017

It’s 2017, dude! What you doin’! (Watch there be, like, some touching reason he still wears it, so soon I’ll sound like a total asshole, even more than I already do.)

Vanessa and Nick make out underwater while wearing scuba goggles, and it is decidedly unsexy. I have never made out with anyone wearing goggles, nor do I have any desire to. In fact, I’m surprised the goggles aren’t bumping into each other and preventing these people’s mouths from meeting. But somehow the physics of this work, and no one drowns, which is nice, because making out while treading water below the surface is actually the leading cause of drowning on The Bachelor. And that’s a fact, Kellyanne Conway style.

WHY IS THIS SPOILER HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

I am losing my mind, because stupid Mashable (I’m sure the people who work there aren’t actually stupid, etc., disclaimer, disclaimer) tweeted that Rachel is the next Bachelorette.

Finally! Meet ABC's first black #Bachelorette, Rachel Lindsay: https://t.co/YJA9mac1rD http://pic.twitter.com/kRrIGGV55J

— Mashable (@mashable) February 13, 2017

Are you fucking kidding me? You’re gonna drop this when she’s STILL ON THE SHOW? Look, I’m here for this: Having a black Bachelorette is imperative, because there have been 75,000 seasons of this show, and every moron looking for love has been white as a cone of vanilla ice cream in a snow storm.

I just wish they’d been able to keep the cat in the bag until Rachel gets kicked off. I’ve avoided spoilers like the plague, which is hard to do when your job is reading and making internet all day, and I’m very upset that one crossed my timeline. In fact, I am livid. I feel like I just walked in on a cheating boyfriend, the way Raven did a few months before coming on this show. And now I, like Raven did to her boyfriend, would like to beat Mashable over the head with a stiletto.

(Yes, I know, other outlets reported this. It’s not just Mashable. But it was their tweet I saw, so they are bearing my full wrath. Sometimes life isn’t fair.)

Oh, by the way: I called this after Week 1.

VANESSA IS LIKE, I LOVE YOU, AND NICK IS LIKE, EH

To many more firsts... ❤️#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/t7Z78SvxAx

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 14, 2017

Vanessa is beautiful, and I like her hoop earrings, but she makes garbage sartorial decisions. The dress she wears to dinner looks like she wrapped one of those baby-carriers around her body too many times and called it a day. She tells Nick she’s falling in love with him, and Nick is like:

“I’m looking for the type of love I’ve never had before. I do believe there is a greater love for me than what I’ve had. I really, really like you. A lot. But it is incredibly important for me, if I’m lucky enough to feel love or say ‘I love you’ in this world, that I only say it to one person. I’ve never dated multiple women before — “

*Record scratch. Freeze frame. “Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got myself into this situation.”*

“ — and so I’m taking it slow. And I’m glad I am, because if I’m lucky enough to say I love you, I want it to feel like in a way I’m saying it for the first time.”

Well, that certainly explains Nick’s mentality and why he gets super butthurt when the women he’s slept with either don’t call him back or don’t love him. This dude’s mentality is monogamous to a fault.

Vanessa is not thrilled. Vanessa, I’m realizing, is also boring. I don’t remember what she says after Nick dumps that on her because it’s not very interesting.

SWIMMING WITH SHARKS

Nick, Corinne, Raven, and Kristina go on a group date. They swim with sharks. My dad must’ve showed my mom how to turn on the television (which is a thing neither she nor I can ever figure out how to do on our own at my parents’ house, because they have too many TV remotes which all have too many buttons) because she starts texting me about the show.

I’m going to let her take the reins on the recap for a moment:

CORINNE IS WORRIED

Nick seems more into Kristina than he does into Raven or Corinne during the part of the date where they’re swimming with sharks. At night, Corinne asks Nick why she hasn’t had a one-on-one yet, and he’s like, “yadda yadda yadda,” and she’s like “cool, I feel better.”

Then she gets really nervous and eats a lot of cheese and I deeply identify with someone on this show for the first time in my life.

"I'm just eating cheese." - Corinne #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/ft1PlnGFhk

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 14, 2017

Honestly — and this might sound strange — I think Corinne and Nick have more chemistry than Nick has with most of the other women. She’s the only one who makes him seem like he has some semblance of a personality. Like, he’ll be funny with her occasionally, which is impressive for a guy whose chemical makeup is 90 percent Pepperidge Farm oatmeal bread.

Corinne also has great clothes.

NICK SENDS DANIELLE M. HOME, RUINING MY PREDICTIONS FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON

So Nick and Danielle go on a painfully awkward date where they ride bikes around and then go to dinner. “Your face is pretty great,” Nick says, and I contemplate switching the channel over to the Westminster Dog Show so I don’t have to watch this. But it’s a good thing I don’t, because Danielle M. tells Nick she loves him, and then Nick sends her home.

I’m like — exsqueeze me, dude? Danielle M. was the star of a country music video, what more do you want?

I’m upset because I was pretty sure Danielle M. at least made it to the final two, and now I feel like my whole life is a lie. Danielle M.’s ex also died, and now she’s heartbroken, and I just ache for her. I really do. I know this show is largely not made up of real emotions, but at some point, what emotions there are do become real, if only because of Stockholm Syndrome from being cooped up in a house with no cell phones, and it’s very sad to watch people be sad. Even I, in my blackened, cynical, Bachelor-hating, Bachelor-recapping heart, don’t love to see this.

"I don’t know what to think right now. I thought this was my time. I really did.” –Danielle M #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/jleYFQ1rRp

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 14, 2017

OTHER STUFF HAPPENS

Quickly, because I’m running out of steam here, and we need to get to a greater point before this ends: Nick and Rachel go on a date and talk about how Nick is white and Rachel is black, which is, I think, the most race has ever come up in a season before, which is good.

But at this point, thanks to goddamn Mashable, we’re all just waiting for this stupid season to end so we can watch Rachel be the Bachelorette. So who cares whether Nick holds onto her for another episode or not.

Then, Corinne tries to have sex with Nick by showing up at his hotel room unannounced. She drops her line about her heart being gold but her vagine being platinum, which is great news, because now maybe the producers will stop teasing that clip. Nick doesn’t have sex with Corinne and sends her on her way. Corinne winces down the hotel hallway in Christian Louboutin stilettos, which cost at least $800.

Then, Nick sends sweet, sweet Kristina home. Kristina, the lovely Russian woman with the inspiring adoption story. I knew this would happen, but it still hurts.

Our hometown dates will be: Raven, Rachel, Corinne, and Vanessa.

HERE’S THE DEAL

Corinne is going to win this whole fucking show, because it's 2017. We can't have nice things. Donald Trump won the election and the Falcons couldn’t hold on to a 25-point lead in the Super Bowl. Why should The Bachelor be any different?

I used to think it was ridiculous to even begin to think Corinne had a shot, but I’ve changed my tune. We live in dark times. We’re through the looking glass. So, mark my words: Corinne WILL win.

"Now, Corinne is great again." -Corinne#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/xVyMzqjAWL

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 14, 2017

BUT IF YOU KNOW, DON'T TELL ME, BECAUSE I HAVE TO AVOID SPOILERS OR THESE RECAPS WILL TURN INTO EVEN HOTTER PILES OF TRASH THAN THEY ALREADY ARE!

Look, I love Corinne. She’s the most interesting part of this show. But I want to live in a world where Nick picks Vanessa, and they ride off into the sunset in a blaze of boring glory the way The Bachelor is supposed to end. I need, in these bizarre times, some shred of normalcy. And in a normal world, the villain of The Bachelor doesn’t win The Bachelor.

Which is why I’m pretty sure Corinne will be Mrs. Nick Viall when this whole stupid thing is said and done.