#i’m. still very mad about this
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I feel like I owe everyone an explanation for my near social media death (hiatus is a better word I guess). Suffice to say my motivation/focus hit an all time low, and a couple of very well placed distractions didn’t help keep me on track. On the other hand, despite all of the… shit out there… my mental health otherwise feels better. Or as well as it can in the absence of energy and motivation. Can’t have it all!
I have managed to get a little done after all this time. Two comms on the slab and a new friend on the way. My fingers are crossed for a lot of things, and I gotta fight to keep putting in the work!
#work in progress#watercolor#traditional media#commissioned art#I’m so so so so sorry I’ve been so bogged down in my head#will probably be cutting off commissions for a little while until I get into a better position to get them done#in a TIMELY MANNER oh my god I’m sorry#my dumb brain is still mad about not having an adhd diagnosis#now people keep mentioning I’m probably autistic#not to self diagnose but that makes some sense#anyway look at the dog sketch if she settles ok I’m naming her Raclette#maybe Lettie for short?#she’s adorable either way#very demure and mindful
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Look people can discourse about how problematic a ship is and how terrible people are for shipping it all they want, but the reasons they try and assign for shipping something are usually pretty ridiculous. The only actual point of discrimination on whether or not I’m gonna ship a pairing is just how narratively compelling the character dynamic is. Do they play off each in an interesting way? Is there some good narrative symbolism involved?? I’m there.
Yes that does mean I’m often a basic bitch and end up enjoying whichever slash and femslash ships are popular BUT there’s usually a reason why a bunch of writers have gotten into something! Tbh! Shit being popular doesn’t mean it’s bad, stuff usually pops off for A reason, regardless of it’s a reason you personally agree with.
#once again the exception is x*cheng I’m so sorry I’m saying it once again but it’s true#that’s pure pair the spares there’s nothing that narratively interesting to work off of#they barely interact in the story#I’m happy some people enjoy it but it’s very uninteresting to me#let’s see guess I’ll tag a few ships I’ve seen people complain about for being too popular and/or problematic#zosan#people are mad about that one all the time but I’m sorry I love rivalry ships and actually im not sorry#labru#people are also as ever mad about that one but they just work so well post canon#ugh just remembered I still keep seeing Takes on#catradora#oh and of course most of the ships in the locked tomb. take your pick#lawlu#shipping#shipping discourse#fandom#Caitie speaks
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so nice of joker out to release a song for all ldr survivors out there
#joker out#joker out fanart#song rec#untittled joker out discography project#2024#i’m actually so mad at them for making šta bih ja this good#im still angry and very salty about ist postponement i felt like this hyperfixation was finally over but noooo this fucking song is too good#i’ll be here forever 😔😔
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ok i need to go to bed but also ive been thinking about this and i need to put it out,;
those fics, either entirely sex or only with references to it, that capitalize on marvin’s definite misogyny and internalized homophobia are scrumptious as fuck but ESPECIALLY the ones where they specifically mention him being disgusted with doing things sexually (or not) that he perceives as feminine. not just bottoming though, giving a blow job (specifically on his knees or when he’s being maneuvered by his partner. manhandled if you will.) or simply being called pretty by a man. giving up his power in a hookup or a date, the other person paying or taking the responsibility of taking marvin out rather than the other way around. i eat that shit up i love it. even when he and whizzer are back together, he’s better but im sure he still has a long way to go especially in his view and treatment of women. maybe he sees whizzer as an ‘equal’ now in the relationship, doesn’t expect him to play the traditional role of a woman, but the misogyny still comes out to play when he talks to trina im sure of it. or, i hate to say, with cordelia and charlotte. i wont deny being besties with a lesbian couple definitely did wonders for his world view but he has years of this kind of thinking and behavior to undo. i just am fucking obsessed with the exploration of that in fan work.
#i say ‘person he’s with’ as if it’s anyone but whizzer#first exposure to this was a fic of he and whizzer hooking up and he got mad about whiz putting his hand in marvin’s hair during a bj#and then calling him pretty#he was like ‘i’m not a fucking woman. stop touching me like one’#special shout out to how he definitely also overcompensates in masculine behavior for being gay#probably more aggressively pre baseball game but he def still does post#he’s a traditionally masculine man to begin with#i don’t know if this was intentional by cborle in his portrayal but in the revival he feels very ‘i’m a Man i am a Father im a manly man’#anyways thinking#always thinking#jay is going batshit insane#jay is jabbering#jay is going to BED#falsettos#falsettos 2016#marvin gardens#marvin falsettos
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Sometimes I see the way certain people in a fandom treat a ‘tough love but well meaning and trying his best in the only way he knows how’ Dad and I can only think “You have a horrid relationship with your father, don’t you? 🫵👁️👁️”
#self projection is a very real thing and most of the time it’s silly fun but sometimes your blowing up a character when you really-#should be blowing up your father; I’m just saying.#the amount of times I’ve seen a dad who doesn’t understand his kid and unintentionally hurts them but grows to try and understand them but-#then the fandom wants that guy DEAD is ASTRONOMICAL.#this was spurred on from the fact I was thinking about Norman’s Dad in Paranorman. Yeah he’s tough love but the movie says it outright;#the reason he acted like that is because he’s scared for Norman. he doesn’t understand him and when people don’t understand something they-#get scared and mad. and even though he was shown to get upset note that he NEVER hurt Norman and buys him weird zombie/horror stuff because-#despite not understanding him and wishing he was ‘normal’ he still loves him! and he accepts his weirdness by the end of the movie in his-#own weird emotionally stunted way!#ignore this entire rant I just have so many emotions about dads who don’t understand but try their best regardless OUGH#prince rambles in this chilies tonight#fandom
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Broke: we should adapt the Silmarillion into a show or movie
Woke: we should adapt the Silmarillion into a Soulsborne style game
#I’m right btw#playing as a maiar thru the first and second age#your level up lady is Nienna#maedhros would make an excellent boss in the style of radagon and Messmer#and on the subject of bosses Melkor would be a fantastic ostentatious boss#like I wouldn’t even be mad that conceptually this would break a lot of canon it’s about the VIBES#I mean I feel like if you tried hard enough it wouldn’t even break canon#i.e. Maedhros boss fight could b a battle for the silmaril that he clutches to still but you win & then boom cutscene to him yeeting himself#I’m very smart and very correct and very autistic
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if you voted for trump i hope you dr0wn in a boiling body of water and also fuck you if you’re staying silent on this and on palestine, congo, sudan, tigray, yemen and haiti etc i wish you the same. whether youre american or not it’s basic fucking decency to care and show support to your fellow humans because anyone who isn’t a white man rights are in peril
and if anyone needs someone to talk to my discord is @ is ad0rechuu
#NOT A DEMOCRAT BTW#i’m still on hiatus and i’ll make a post about that soon but i want to offer my support#and sorry if this is messy and unreadable i’m just very mad and in a lot of (unrelated) pain#also if anyone says “it’s wrong to say that stuff about people the same counts for you too it’s also wrong to not care abt ppls rights
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triple A mad scientist <3
#like how their eyes came out in this one#feeling very. idk off lately. about sexuality and stuff#my aunt said something about a boyfriend to me a few weeks ago and I’m still not over that so maybe that’s it#anyway *shaking* I need to draw as many aroace characters as possible-#blue phantom#the blue phantom#ducktales#ducktales 2017#dt17#duckverse#gyro gearloose#mad ducktor#wackys art#aromantic#asexual#aroace#agender#pride month
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no hate but i truly am not seeing what all these bucktommy endgame truthers are seeing
in the few 1 on 1 scenes they have together, to me, it seems not just awkward, but like the writing and framing is intentionally pointing out the awkwardness
like, he’s uncomfortable being seen on a date with Tommy (despite having no issue in s2 when the elf lady thought him, Christopher, and Eddie were a whole family?)
not to mention how astronomically strange that kitchen kiss scene was (idk where y’all are getting cute/romantic but maybe that’s just me). Tommy kissed him to stop him from talking, asked him if it was okay afterwards, then proceeded to make entire date plans with very little input from Buck, who pretty much just stands there confused the entire time (not trying to insinuate in any way that Tommy assaulted him, he def seemed into it but that whole scene seemed very strange and forceful to me)
that paired with the scene when they met up after Tommy (rudely if i might add) cut their first date short and he insists it was because he didn’t want to pressure him? strange since he didn’t seem to have a problem pressuring Buck when he kissed him without asking and planned the whole date for him.
everyone’s already pointed out the bachelor party scene but i feel like i need to as well, Tommy chose not to dress up despite presumably knowing how much it meant to Buck, and then intentionally down played it when Buck pointed it out (idk the “they had henleys in the 80s” line seemed way to rude and dismissive to not be intentional)
and maybe it’s just me misreading it, because obviously at the beginning of any relationship there’s going to be some tension, but idk
we know that the writing and symbolism in this show is very intentional so im not inclined to believe so many people would notice it if it wasn’t meant to be noticed.
i have so many more opinions but this post is getting too long (i also have opinions on how all of this points towards buddie as well but that’s WAY too much to put in this post)
#buddie#eddie diaz#911#911 on abc#evan buckley#i’m def reading too far into some of this#i also just think it’s very lame writing to have a man come out as bi and then immediately stay with the first man he ever dates#what they taught us in ap english in hs really stuck with me i guess#i still over analyze everything all these years later#am i allowed to tag this bucktommy or will they be mad at me a again?#i mean i’m talking about it in the post so too on me it makes sense to tag it#i guess that’s not how everyone else thinks though so whatever
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Since seven people have given me the green light, I’m gonna briefly sum up my hatred for Focalors in a few (okay-maybe more) sentences. Warning, I swear. (And if you don’t share my opinion and want to be rude, I kindly ask you to leave because this is just my opinion.)
She didn’t do sh*t.
She’s like that one person in a group project that pitches in at the very last moment and then takes half the credit.
She says she didn’t wait around while Furina suffered but all I see is her playing with legos and slowly building her death-sword while Furina did all the hard work and suffered without rest.
AND THEN SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO CLAIM FURINA’S WORK AS HER OWN BECAUSE THEY’RE “essentially the same person”
BULLSH*T.
I get it, Focalors “saved Fontaine with her sacrifice”. NO SHE DID NOT. Furina saved Fontaine with her sacrifice. And all she got was a thank you from a bubble.
DID ANYONE ELSE THANK FURINA AFTER THE PROPHECY?!
Because as far as I can tell, Furina needed to succeed in tricking everyone—AND I MEAN EVERYONE. So that Focalors could enact the rest of her plan. Furina carried, and she carried HARD.
And to be honest, I was pretty mad at everyone when they turned their backs on Furina in the trial. She said she had a plan, but they broke Furina’s trust anyway. And when I mean they, I mean Neuvillette and Clorinde, Sigewinne, Traveler, Lyney, EVERYONE.
So while everyone mourns the death of Focalors, I’m here worrying about Furina cuz she sacrificed every part of herself to save Fontaine from the prophecy. And NO ONE seems to care.
I’m even pretty sure she has identity issues and major trauma because of it. No, I’m definitely sure.
And what does she get? A single sorry from the one who made her suffer, and who knew she would suffer.
Sometimes it feels like Focalors saw her more like a doll than a human. “You truly are my ideal” she said. “Furina’s humanity is what made her perfect”
At least the ARCHONS respect FURINA. They should all go to Fontaine and give her a hug. And tell her she did a good job.
*takes a deep breath*
So, I’ve got one last question.
What would have happened to Furina if she said no?
Would she be re-absorbed(and basically killed) into the divinity half of the hydro archon until a human counterpart said yes? Would Focalors plead with her? Or control her to say yes? Or would that be that and Fontaine gets flooded?
Just think about that for a while.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Genshin Impact with all my heart, but I’m just mad about how everyone, especially Focalors, treated Furina in game. And it was an awesome archon quest! But I won’t be crying over Focalors anytime soon.
Furina deserves all the love. <3
#genshin spoilers#genshin impact#furina de fontaine#focalors#angry rant#I’m totally neutral about Focalors because she DID die for Fontaine#for now#though I’m still very mad at her#it was such a cruel thing to do to Furina#avid believer of Furina protection#Furina needs a hug#Furina#Neuvillette#genshin traveler#clorinde#sigewinne#genshin navia#don’t even get me started on her story quest#fontaine#nation of hydro#god of justice
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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if anyone’s got really good posts about the way Dungeon Meshi handles gastronomy and/or the impact it’s had on people’s irl relationships with food, could you send em my way? please and thank
#roadie rambles#dungeon meshi#I ADORE reading posts like the one I just rb’d#I have a degree in literature and food studies so it’s insanely fascinating to me to read about dunmeshi’s frameworks#and the way its story has inspired people to get into cooking or at the very least be more mindful about what they eat#and that’s not even touching on the other bigger topics like cultural exchange; nostalgia and food sovereignty#it makes me wish I was still in school (shocking I know!) bc I just /know/ at least one of my classes would’ve dived into it#just imagining sitting in a lecture hall with a picture of senshi on the screen drives me mad#(if anyone has actually experienced that know that I’m SO JEALOUS OF YOU 😭)#dungeon meshi gastronomy
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For any remaining madcom followers I have…
A treat <3
#madness combat#the auditor#Madcom Lovecore#rufioarts#Idk y’all I had the urge to draw the wife of all time!!! I miss her <3#Sorry it’s Lovecore Audi shes all I care about/hj#Please no one follow me for more Madcom it’s very rare I’ll post more KSMSNSJ I’m still knee deep in my superhero comics hyperfixation-
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a couple hours ago i ranted to my sister angrily about the lego movies and here’s a visual reenactment of that
i was so pissed i felt like matpat
#all the love to my lovely sister#for listening to me rant about silly legos for around 2 hours#i’m still so mad#not ranting here tho cause i’m scared the lego community will set me ablaze or smth#scary place#oh yeah she’s been converted into the special spaceship book club oh joys !#we looked at how many fics every other ship has in comparison to special spaceship#it was very sad to look at#apparently someone made a fic of benny and colin?? the computer from dhmis????#so good for them i suppose !!
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choosing to be the bigger person this year (not even hatewatching one episode of h***********)
#it is a very important and clumsily done show for people who are in the life phase where they need the minutiae of gender sexuality#and mental health explained to them like a slightly condescending tumblr text post psa#and i am simply not in that target audience because i am 27 and do not need the moral lessons of my media handed to me on a platter<3#yes i said clumsily done. yeah i’m still mad about what they did to my guy REDACTED
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wrt dean hitting sam and how its obviously something with an established history of happening from the way sam acts about it (‘you satisfied?.. guess not’ ‘take a swing’ etc). i personally think this has been a pattern in their life pretty much forever. wait i ended up saying way more in the tags im gonan make another post i think
#the thing with sam and dean is also that since they were so neglected a lot of Relatively Normal older sibling behavior becomes something#different. like take in a very supernatural christmas. dean gets mad at sam and starts yelling at him to shut up#and it’s discomforting to watch!! no one is telling dean to stop or in any way contradicting the messages hes giving to sam and ur like.#christ!! but that’s like. Pretty Normal older sibling behavior i think. i was never really the kind to fight with my siblings when they were#kids like that but tons of peoples older siblings beat them up for fun when they’re like 8. but it just becomes different#with sam and dean - because dean does have all the power in a way older siblings dont normally bc usually you and ur sibling are still both#the KID. you know? whereas deans given an authority of fan. idk. deangirls like to talk about dean playing a parental role#if you subscribe to that you have to even more so admit that the way he treats sam becomes very fucked#and i’m not blaming dean for this when he’s a kid. cause how’s he meant to know better and also this is probably how john acts he’s learning#it from someone#but as he gets older? i just reckon it doesn’t ever change. he never learns that it’s unacceptable and sam always lets him treat him The Way#He Does In Canon so he just never changes. and what started off kind of as normal siblings antics quickly shifts into something entirely#different. especially as in canon when dean hits sam its usually like a punishment. after sams gone out of his control. or its to take out#his own anger. which is SO fucked up. and this most definitely was happening before canon#spn#oliver talks#sam & dean
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