#i’m working myself to the bone but i guess if i have a little bit of fun it’s a problem

[yellowsubiesdance]

i can’t simply have a break, i need to be going to school, working, AND finding time to do chores in the house

[brokenmutations]

When there’s a Logan, there’s a You

Logan Howlett [Variants] • She/Her Pronouns • Mutant!Reader [Heightened Senses] • In Wade’s attempts to find the perfect Wolverine for his timeline, he half expected not to run into the many different yous that existed • ANGST/SFW/NSFW • TW: Blood / Nightmares / Scars

“Oh, I gotta find me another Logan” Wade sighs, taking out the glorified fire phone. “An alive one…Don’t get up, guys. I’ll see myself out”

Comic Accurate Short King

“Logan!” Wade shouts in the axe throwing bar, spotting Logan sat at the bar. “I’m gonna need you to come with me.”

“Who’s asking?” Logan glared, hopping off the bar stool and revealing his true height.

“Oh, look at this hairy Lou Retton” Wade giggles behind the mask. “Did you stick the landing, little guy?”

A bit of annoyance grew on Logan’s face as he walked closer to Wade.

“Yes, you did! Comic-accurate short king” Wade leaned down, his voice in more of a mocking way and before he could say more he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Marvel Jesus turned around and holy fuck was this universe’s Y/N was tall as SHIT.

“Who you callin’ short, fucking ketchup bottle?” Y/N growled, gripping his shoulder with a bit of a force that drove a shiver down his spine.

“Okay Godzilla, I think I’ll be on my way out” Wade pulls himself away, taking the phone out and staring at their height dynamics as the door opens behind him. “He climbs you like a tree huh?” He teased only for both of them to get annoyed about to follow him but he quickly went through with it shutting behind.

Cue the fucking montage

Weapon X

As Wade steps through the door he was in shock at how ruined this universe was.

“Everything here is on fire” He thought out loud, entering an alleyway finding a hunched over figure with a cloak covering them. “Hi, have you seen I guess a more apocalyptic looking Hugh Jackman around here?”

The individual lifted their head showing their face to Wade causing him to kneel in front of the person.

“Fucking hell is that you Y/N?!” Wade removed the hood of her cloak revealing the buzzed hair. “Okay Furiosa, you slay in any universe”

The confusion write itself on her face as she didn’t know who this person was but given her state of being, she didn’t have the strength to fight him. But he sure did.

Suddenly, Wade was thrown away from Y/N’s space causing a bit of a comical scream to erupt out of the poor guy. Next thing he knew, his body met the wall which broke a few bones. Especially the car he landed on broke a couple more.

As Wade groans lifting himself onto his elbows, he turned to find a man had replaced where he was.

“I don’t know who you are but maybe you know where—-“

The man straightened up turning around to look Wade with the familiar scowl that matches every Wolverine.

“Well well well, you aren’t a kitty cat like the rest with that lion’s mane of yours” Wade smirks rolling off the car and walking over to get up close and personal. He was about to demand he come with him but then his eyes moved with his head to the metal stump that used to be his left hand. “Do your claws still work with that thing?” He gasps suddenly, straightening up. “Was that the hand you used to jerk o—-“

Before he could finish he went flying to the wall again after Logan punched him with said stump. Logan had enough of this yapping individual he’s never seen before and decided a threat is a threat. So he went after Wade and if he could, he’d turn him into ceviche if other matters didn’t stop him.

Y/N watched this all play out for a while and wanted to break it up but a part of her couldn’t handle the noises she was hearing.

Her wince is what made Logan stop and shove Wade off the car he was fighting him on before quickly approaching her. Logan gently cradles her face with his hand resting his forehead against hers.

“Yeah…okay, I’ll uh…see myself out” Wade groans dragging his body to the door he opened with his phone.

Patch

When Wade opened the door to the next universe he was confused whether he was in a casino in Vegas or a casino in the middle of the jungle because when he looked outside the window it looked like a jungle.

“Can I help you sir?”

The voice caught him off guard as he quickly turned around to lock eyes with this universe’s Y/N. Except his Y/N had cochlear implants. Not every universe is the same people! This Y/N clearly had her mutation manifest a bit too much that her eardrums BOOM! Exploded. Bursted…what’s the medical mumbo-jumbo? Anyway, I only know that cuz that ALMOST happened to my Y/N.

“Sir—-Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for a tall broody man that apparently has a very gremlin sized version of himself in another universe. Hell, you were alllllll leg there” Wade started to doze off thinking about how exactly the short king, yknow then he snapped back into it. “Anyho! You’re not helpful so I’m leaving you in your cute little waiter outfit alone and let myself in”

Before he even got to the door, Y/N blocked his path firmly pressing her hand against his chest.

“Okay princess, I’m not here to fight. I just need to talk to Logan”

The name triggered a thought in her mind unknown to him, but it was obvious that she thought Logan’s position was about to be compromised by this stranger.

“You don’t have a meeting with Patch and if you enter without granted access…I’ll have to take care of you myself” Y/N shoved Wade with a force he would never expect from her.

“Holy shit have you been working out or juicing?” Wade scoffs falling on his ass watching Y/N take out a small canister that with a quick press of a button it formed into a staff. “Marvel H. Christ…you pack a punch. I wonder what you’d do with the Hulk as your opponent”

“I’d leave if I were you”

“Sorry, sweetcheeks. That’s a no can do” Wade groans on his way back up, taking one of his katanas out. “Guess I’ll have to force my way through”

Logan suddenly felt uneasy as he looked at his winning cards, confusing the others at the table but his expression was toward what he heard that they didn’t. He reveals his cards and listened to their disappointment but before he could leave the table…

“Patch” Wade gave him a look which led Logan to gesture for the man on his right to give up his seat for him. “I need to talk to you”

“I don’t know who you are, bub” Logan tapped the table for his cards as the dealer gave Wade his as he was confused at to what they were playing.

“Yeah but I know exactly who you are and you HAVE to tell me how you snagged Y/N. The little lady is crazier than mine.” Wade lifted his cards, leaning into Logan. “What are we playing?” He whispers only for the man to growl at him in his space. “Ok ok. Not Go-Fish…uhm. I fold”

The dealer nodded and went to the next player, Logan kept his composure for the most part but when Wade said his partner’s name…his whole body tensed.

“How do you know Y/N.”

“Well that’s a bigger discussion we should have in private. And probably without her because she’s gonna be pissed when she wakes up” Wade went to reach for his card and Logan had enough which led the man to unsheathe his claws to stab him in the head. The woman on the other side of the mercenary, screamed when blood got on her but business continued as Logan retracted his claws along with pulling Wade away and off the table.

“You look like you could use a drink” the dealer gestured for a waiter to come over and before Logan could stand up to check on one in particular, he felt a hand stop him.

Logan quickly looked up locking eyes with his partner who bore a tired expression along with a bruise forming on her cheek. He could smell the blood on her and knew it was hers given she hide her other arm behind her back to avoid other eyes.

‘You okay?’ He signed to her as Y/N nods before both their attention were drawn to Wade dragging himself along the carpeted floor.

“Never…coming…back here” Wade groans continuing to drag himself away as Y/N scoffs at his form while signing ‘idiot’.

As soon as Wade left, Logan rises to his feet excusing himself from the table and walking out with Y/N back to the small lobby before their casino room. He frowns scanning around the room to see all the damage done to the place alone.

‘He ever comes back, you get me’ Logan scoffs as he signs to her while taking a hold of her arm that Wade managed to knick with his tiny knife.

‘I can handle myself’ She frowns, feeling his fingers gently lift her chin to have her attention on him.

“I don’t care. This operation is risky, I can’t lose you in the process” Logan frowns, kissing her forehead before bringing her into his arms for a brief moment. Her body finally relaxed after that whole interaction.

Old Man Logan

“This is much homier than the last universe…I think I still taste metal…” Wade pondered as he approached the small property in the woods. “Was it his claws or her staff going up where the sun don’t—-Oh hey!” He waves at the old man on the porch.

Said old man didn’t seem to care much of the guy dressed like a ketchup bottle. He kept his attention on himself until he heard the footsteps draw nearer.

“Hello, Hi! Hope you’re the man I’m looking for”

The old man lifted his gaze only for Wade to be taken back a sec.

“Well don’t you need some coconut oil on…that” He gestures to Logan’s older complexion as his words only drew out a low growl from the old man. “So you and my Logan actually aged. Can the little Wolvie still perform? I wanted to ask my Y/N but she’s still grieving”

Logan glared at him which drew out a growl out of the man the closer Wade got.

The growling annoyed more than the merc as the front door opened revealing this universe’s Y/N with a very tired expression on her face. Logan’s growling suddenly stopped as he turned toward the door finding her disappointed expression making his expression soften for a second.

Then a whole 180 turn back to Wade returning the scowl on his face and suddenly the shotgun he was hiding under his blanket fired at the poor guy launching him back from the force alone.

“He’s twitching” Y/N frowns stepping off the porch and checking the body, watching the bullet holes heal. “He can heal like you, babe” she pulls away from the body, only for her back to bump into Logan’s chest as he instantly went to cover her with his body. “He’s not going to hurt me”

Logan shot her a glare which was met with an annoyed look from her. He tensed when he heard Wade groaning, resulting in him gently nudging Y/N back as he took a step back.

“Okayyyy…clearly, I struck a fucking nerve with this one. Like…the others” Wade groans rising to his feet and cracking his back as he did such. “I shall bid y’all farewell…this writer needs to send me to a universe where the wolverine is a cat. Then maybe just maybe I won’t be too hurt” he sighs taking out his phone and opening a door to the next universe.

The poor guy looked around terrified as to where the man dressed in red had disappeared to, all while Y/N pulled away heading back inside.

“You want some peach cobbler?” She asks halfway through the door as Logan perked up quickly following behind her.

The door shut a moment, then Logan opened it back up leaving his shotgun outside before going back in.

Crucified Wolverine

Wade face plants into the sea of red skulls and part of him was afraid but most of him was curious.

“What in the fuck…” He lifts his head finding Logan on a giant yellow X. “Are you okay??” He laughs, struggling to rise to his feet as he stumbles on over to get close to this variant.

All this Logan has done was groan to the feeling of the nails in his wrists and the rain hitting his skin making him overall uncomfortable.

“Yeah uh. Not you…we’re uhm. Going in different directions” Wade turned around opening a door. “Thank god I didn’t find a Y/N skull…”

“Y/N…” Logan sobbed hearing her name which only made Wade anxious and get out of there faster not wanting to know what happened to one of his best friends in this universe.

John Byrne’s Brown and Tan Wolverine

“Oh yes, YES! Classic John Byrne brown and tan” Wade nodded happily watching Logan come into view of the wrecked forest they stood in. “Now you fought the Hulk in this costume…”

Logan readied himself, unsheathing his claws at the exact moment the Hulk roared which led Wade to turn around being face to face with said green monster.

“I’m Marvel Jesus you dull creature and I——“ Wade was suddenly hit by the Hulk into the trunk of a knocked down oak.

Part of him was having enough of these Logan variants that Wade started to whine and an even bigger chunk of him wishes his Y/N was with him.

“Get up!”

It felt like he was seeing an angel when her voice caught his ears. Y/N picked up Wade like it was nothing, carrying him over her shoulders and bringing him away from the fight but the Hulk was acting like a bull chasing them which led to Logan chasing him.

“DITCH THE RED, BUB” Logan shouts, climbing a tree and launching himself onto the Hulk’s back throwing him back.

Y/N suddenly dropped Wade but helped him to his feet. “Listen, Red. You’re not from here and this ain’t your fight”

“I know I know! I was gonna ask if I could borrow your Logan to help save my universe” Wade’s voice was panicked watching Logan and the Hulk fight.

“Look. Avengers are after us for messin’ with the multiverse already. You need to find a Logan that doesn’t have anything he could lose in his universe.” Y/N frowns. “It’s messed up but that’s how it’s gonna have to be.”

“Wait. How the fuck do you know so much about the multiverse?”

“When your Red vanishes one day and it became this unknown trend…you get curious and start talking to a few sorcerers” Y/N states, getting a chill down her back as she quickly grabs Wade pulling them both out of the way of the tree thrown their way.

“Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE” Logan shouts, mainly over his anxiety for their safety with a hint of anger.

Y/N sighs grabbing Wade’s hand and pulling him out of their line of sight. She quickly took the phone out of his hand and dialed in two sequences.

“These two have lone Wolverines. One definitely has some baggage from a different studio but the other I know nothing about”

“Ok ok…I’ll take it” Wade took the phone, opening the first one up. Before she stepped completely away, he called out to her catching her attention. “Uhm. I…”

“You will save your universe, Wilson.” Y/N gave a small nod with a smile before turning around and running toward the fight.

The Cavillrine

The revving of the motorcycle caught his attention instantly.

“Oh now we’re talking” Wade started to approach this universe’s Wolverine. “That’s the whole goddamn package right there”

As he got closer, he grew more confused and remembered when the other Y/N brought up “studio” as if it meant something important…

“Yknow…from behind you look a little like Henry—-“ The second Logan turned around, Wade gasped. “Oh my FUCK…the Cavillrine the legends are true”

Logan gave him a confused expression as he puffed out some cigar smoke, bringing his attention toward his bike once more.

“And may I say sir on the behalf of all humanity….this just feels RIGHT” Wade emphasized on the last word with a bunch of giddiness in his voice watching Logan turn to him. “We will treat you so much better than those shit fucks down the street!”

“You were just leaving” Logan scoffs, removing the cigar from his mouth and tossing it.

“No sir! I wonder if your Y/N looks a little like Amy Adams” Wade thought for a moment, “No no no sir, not while the fate of my universe is at—-“

Poor guy.

Wade flew through the next time door from the force of Logan’s punch.

The Worse Wolverine

After the whole spiel, Logan came face to face with Wade’s gun as he could sense he had enough of disappointment. But he wasn’t going to go that easily.

“Watch this” Logan laughs reaching for the bottle and straightening up. “Alright…Woah—-“ he grabbed onto the gun to stabilize himself. “Easy…” he laughs softly, starting to drink the bottle straight up.

“Good god” Wade watches in pure shock. “Thirsty little honey badger aren’t yea?” He continues to watch him down the bottle which triggered a thought in his mind. “How did Y/N deal with your little drinking problem huh?”

Logan finished the bottle with a bit of a shocked expression hearing that name. “Y/N?” He questions him, only to suddenly collapse from the amount in his system.

Wade sighs holstering his gun and stepping over his unconscious body. “You will have to do”

You’ve all seen the movie do I really have to rewrite the whole thing? Let’s just get to the part where you show up

Althea scoffed after her wishing she was deaf comment as she listens to the commotion Wade and Logan were causing in the streets.

“Y/N!” She shouted knowing her apartment door is closed, and Y/N’s. But with her mutation, she heard her.

Y/N instantly lets herself in running over to the window and climbing out onto the fire escape where Al was. She instantly took note of the commotion happening.

“What is it?!”

“A fuckton of Wades”

“God fucking damn it. They better not be staying. Those motherfuckers won’t pay their rent!” Al scoffs again, going back into her apartment to look for some much need cocaine in her opinion. All while Y/N continued to watch the fight happening before re-entering herself and quickly grabbing something.

While the two were fighting in the bus, Y/N stepped out of the apartment complex finding a few Deadpool stragglers resulting in her running toward a presumed dead one and grabbing his handguns to take out the few giving hopefully her Wade less trouble. She flinched to the sound of broken glass as she ran over to the end of the bus sighing with relief.

“Wade, this is what you’ve been doing?! Fucking up the multiverse?!”

“I DIDNT DO SHIT! BLAME THE TVA” Wade shouts in her direction as he couldn’t help but feel the growing tension beside him that was Logan staring into Y/N’s soul from the looks of it. “Listen sweet cheeks. We gotta go save our universe and I need peanut’s help. So while he continues to stare at you like he’s seen a ghost Imma need you to have our backs in case—-“ he heard the sounds of bones cracking back into place as Y/N instantly knew where he was going.

“Go!” She shouted at them and while they ran to take care of the time ripper, she half expected to take on a whole clusterfuck of Deadpools. But when she heard the stand down! from Peter. She had only an ounce of hope.

Once the threat of it all was over, Y/N found herself back in her apartment leaned up against the door hugging a flannel close to her chest as she didn’t feel it in the moment. But seeing Logan, not her Logan, again was bringing back all kinds of feelings. She was hugging her Logan’s shirt as she had quite a few along with a box of Polaroids that their daughter took for the most part.

A knock on the door pulled her out of this trance she put herself in as she rises to her feet.

As she opened the door, her heart that was once beating fast because of her anxiety…relaxed when she locked eyes with Laura. Y/N instantly dropped the flannel and broke down into tears bringing her into her arms sobbing with her.

“Mom…” Laura whispers, sobbing and gripping onto the back of her shirt. Y/N held onto her for dear life, looking over her shoulder to find a smiling Wade and equally happy Logan beside him.

When they locked eyes, Y/N couldn’t help the smile on her face even with all the tears before hiding her face while hugging Laura. Logan felt his heart beating out of his chest.

You’ll find me again, I promise His Y/N’s words rang in his head as he looked at this universe’s Y/N.

A Logan will always find a Y/N

[froggiewrites]

Hii, I hope you're doing well, if not I'll hope things will go better!

I really liked your writing like it's so good!!

I have an sfw request about Ace.

So basically reader is feeling really sick recently so they spend a lot of time with Marco who gives them advices and all, and Ace gets jealous about this cause he thinks that reader is interested in Marco so one day when he's with the both of them he just says something like "oh I wouldn't want to be the third wheel" like something that clearly shows that he thought the two of them were now a couple and when he learns that they're not he immediately confess to reader?

I really hope it's not too precise, if you want to change things feel free to since you're the artist here, and I hope you understood (English isn't my first language) thank you so much for the other stories!

Take care, bye bye!

Hi, thank you so much for your well wishes and your request! Sorry this took so long, I burned myself out a little bit with the Halloween event and it took me a little time to get back into the swing of things. This one is short and sweet, and I hope you like it!

Third Wheeling It

Pairing: Ace x Reader

SFW

Summary: You've been spending a lot of time down in the clinic with Marco recently, and Ace gets the wrong idea. Warnings: Fluff, Misunderstandings, Very Little Hurt/Lots of Comfort, Idiots in Love Word Count: 1.6k

You’re convinced you’re never going to feel normal again. You have a headache you just can’t shake, and a fatigue down to your bones. You haven’t been able to shake whatever it is, no matter how much you rest.

“Are you really sure I just need to take it easy? It’s been weeks.”

Marco gives you a sympathetic look. “I know, but you really do just need time. You burned yourself out. Recovering from that takes a while.” He had been telling you that since you first started making regular visits to his office a couple weeks ago. You had spent a majority of the last week curled up in one of the beds in the clinic, pretending to rest but really just bothering Marco to entertain yourself. You suppose it was rest, in a way, but you liked to pretend you were somehow tricking him, getting away with something. It made you feel less helpless, and helped ease the ache of missing your normal routine.

You throw yourself down on the cot you had claimed for your own. “But I want to be better now.”

He laughs. “Don’t we all. If desire were all it took, I would be out of a job.”

“You could still fight. You don’t need to be a doctor to be a pirate.”

“True enough. But my point still stands: if our bodies listened to what we wanted there would be no need for doctors. Sometimes there really is no magic solution other than time.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.” He passes by your cot, ruffling your hair light as he walks past. “But you’ll pull through.”

“Will you sit with me? We can suffer together.”

“I have work to do,” he says, sitting on the edge of your cot with a slight smile anyway. “And I wouldn’t really call hanging out with you suffering.”

You smile sleepily. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“You need to raise your standards.”

“My standards are sky high, thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah? What are they, then?”

“One, handsome. Two, nice to me. Three, end of list.”

He laughs. “God, the bar is in the ground for you, huh? Let me correct that for you: three, be Portgas D. Ace.”

You blush. “That–I–uh. Shut up!”

Marco is still laughing at you when you hear a throat clear in the doorway. You both look up to see the man you were just speaking of leaning against the doorframe, his eyes avoiding yours, a slight frown on his lips. “Sorry, I just–I heard you were down here again, and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You smile at him, bright and earnest. “I’m doing alright, I guess. As well as I can be.”

Marco stands, moving away from your bed and back to his desk, more than willing to let Ace take his place at your sickbed. “They’re fine, really. They just hate listening to me.”

“I’d like listening to you if you had better things to say.”

“Ouch!” He puts a hand over his chest. “I’m just doing my job here!”

As you both giggle with each other, Marco trying to distract you and you trying to let him, you both miss Ace shifting uncomfortably and biting his lip. However, once you’ve come back down, you don’t miss the way he’s looking at you, a look far too intense to dismiss. It’s strange, somewhere half between hurt and resignation. Something flashes in his eyes, something pained, but before you can ask him what’s wrong he’s already turned his back. “I’ll leave you two to hang out. I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”

“You’re leaving already?” You can’t leave the sorrow out of your voice or the pout off of your face. “But I’ve missed you.” And you had, really. Spending most of your time down here with Marco means you’ve barely spent any time at all with Ace these past few weeks. You had missed everything about him, from his smile to his laugh to his loud, obnoxious snores when he passed out halfway through dinner. 

His shoulders stiffen. His voice is tight when he speaks again. “You shouldn’t say things like that. You could give a guy the wrong idea.”

You sit up, wincing but forcing yourself through the discomfort. “What kind of wrong idea?”

“The idea that you might be…interested.”

“That sounds like the right idea, actually.”

He whips around, his face painted with hurt. “That isn’t funny.”

“Who’s joking?”

“I…really. This isn’t…this is cruel. Having to third wheel with you two is hard enough without…”

Marco finally speaks up, his voice filled with confusion. “Third wheel?”

“Yeah, watching you two get closer while I have to pretend I’m fine is hard enough, you guys don’t need to rub it in my face.” He doesn’t sound angry, really, just defeated and pained. “I’m trying to be happy for you, you don’t need to make it harder than it already is.”

You furrow your brow. “Happy for us?”

Marco can’t help the surprised bark of a laugh that leaves him. “You think we’re dating?”

Ace pauses. “You…aren’t?”

“Hell no!”

“Absolutely not!”

You and Marco both instantly refute the claim, perhaps a little more harshly than necessary.

Ace lights up like the sun. “You mean it?”

“Of course we mean it!” You cry.

“Why wouldn’t we mean it?” Marco chuckles, voice filled with the sort of weary but unwavering affection Ace tends to bring out in people. 

“Will you go out with me?” Ace stares at you with wide, pleading eyes, already moving to beg on his hands and knees, as though he expects rejection.

“You aren’t really my type,” Marco quips with a laugh, before closing the curtain to give you two some privacy.

It’s your turn to be shocked, heart beating out of your chest and cheeks flushing. “You–I–What?”

He grins, on his knees in front of you, taking a hand in his. “I like you, a lot. Will you go out with me?”

“This is so sudden.” You want to say yes, of course. Why wouldn’t you? But you weren’t expecting such a confession today, and your head is still pounding, and you can’t quite get over the thought that Marco is listening right behind the curtain. You know that Ace doesn’t care about any of those things, blind to anything but his goal in any situation, but you could never be so headstrong, so carefree. Could you?

“I’ve liked you from the moment I saw you.” His smile is growing ever wider, his eyes filling with hope. “I thought I had lost my chance, and I will absolutely never take that risk again. Will you be mine? Or, I guess, could I be yours?”

Your cheeks are on fire, and your brain is melting, but your mouth moves despite yourself. “Yes,” you hear yourself say.

You’re pinned to the bed as he throws himself at you, laughing joyously. “Yes? Oh my god, yes!” He tucks his face into your neck, and you can feel his smile. “I never thought it’d be a yes.”

“How could it be anything else?” Your voice is soft, more vulnerable than you’d like. But you would never understand how he could expect anything less than success. You don’t know how anyone could speak to Ace for longer than five minutes and not fall madly and deeply in love with everything about him: his smile, his humor, his confidence. He shines like the sun, and you don’t know how anyone could ever resist basking in his warmth for as long as they can.

“Well up until a couple minutes ago I thought you were in love with Marco.”

You laugh. “I’ve been sick, Ace. He’s a doctor.”

He doesn’t respond, and you can see a bit of pink at the tips of his ears. “How was I supposed to know?”

“You could have asked.”

“You should listen to them,” Marco calls from behind the curtain. “This was entirely self-inflicted.”

“Shut up!” He finally leaves your neck just to shout at Marco, cheeks hot. “Would you have asked?”

“Yes. I’m a grown man. I can handle a tough conversation.”

“Well–I–Shut up!”

Marco laughs, and you can hear the door slam shut behind him. Ace buries himself in your neck again, his strong arms pulling around you even tighter, and you can’t help but smile. He seems so delicate like this, so unlike his usual self, and you can’t help but admire him. He’s so charming even now, so vulnerable and small. “I would have been too nervous to ask too,” you quietly reassure him. “And it doesn’t matter anyway, because you said it.”

He smiles against your skin. “I did say it,” he mumbles. “And you accepted.”

“I did.”

“I really like you.”

“I really like you, too.”

You don’t have a moment to react before his lips are on yours, slightly chapped and hesitant. You imagine this is what sunlight tastes like, warm and inviting. His hand rests on your cheek, thumb brushing lightly against your skin. He’s smiling as he pulls away. “And now I can do that whenever I want.”

You grin. “You can. You’re encouraged, even.”

And so he kisses you again. Marco leaves you too alone for as long as he can justify to himself, and when he finally interrupts you two again you find yourself more than ready to leave the clinic again, a warm hand intertwined with yours and your headache nearly entirely gone.

Tag List: @pandora-writes-one-piece

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Can you please write some hurt comfort hero and villain. Where the villain is the grumpy one and the hero is the sunshine one. The hero gets hurt (Villain finds who did the hurting and takes care of it) and villain has to take care of the hero’s wounds. With very “Who did this to you” vibes. Thanks! No worries if you are busy! I love your writing!

The hero stared at the supermarket shelf, their mouth agape. It was nothing more than another cruel joke that got in line to torment them today.

Everything seemed to be conspiring against them — being late to work, getting their ass kicked for a solid hour and now, the chocolate they craved on top of the shelf. Theoretically, the hero would be able to reach it, but their stitches were still fresh and their bones ached persistently.

On top of that, the supermarket was playing heartbreaking songs. Although it did fit the hero’s overall mood, they would have welcomed something more upbeat.

“Long day?” They looked at the person next to them and to their surprise, their nemesis was standing close by. They wore a hoodie and a cap, hiding their face and physique rather well. At first, the hero frowned, looked away, but then their eyes found the villain once again.

Their bottom lip was swollen. Their knuckles bruised.

“Kind of,” the hero said. Their voice was embarrassingly hoarse, so they cleared their throat. “Definitely exhausting.”

“Yeah, I get that.” The villain took a bar of chocolate from the shelf and turned it in their hand, examining it arrantly. Their nose wrinkled. Suddenly they turned towards the hero and lifted the bar in their hands. “Putting mint and chocolate together is an actual crime, like…who the fuck thought that would be a good idea?”

They shook their head and basically threw the bar back to where they had taken it from.

“What an absolute loser bullshit.”

And the hero, for whatever reason, the hero had to giggle. The villain seemed to be genuinely agitated by it and the hero couldn’t help but find it delightful.

“Sounds personal,” the hero quipped.

“Intrinsically personal, believe me.” The hero didn’t even realise how their smile was glued to their face until soft quiescence overcame the both of them.

The hero dared to look at their nemesis, but the villain’s eyes were on them already.

“You okay, though?” they asked, almost whispered the words. It was something out of a dream.

In the hero’s experience, most people didn’t really like those who were complicated. Understanding someone else is difficult. Challenging. Messy.

It is work and most people are already working enough for them to go crazy. So, demanding even more work was preposterous. It was ridiculous.

But when the hero was with the villain, it was so easy. All of it was so easy.

Barely any miscommunication. Mutual respect. Compassion. The hero swallowed.

Why did they have to be on opposite sides?

“Yeah,” the hero said. They stared at the shelf. “I’m okay.”

“No, be honest.”

“I am being honest.”

“Not quite,” the villain said.

The hero looked back at them.

“I…I am just a little mad at myself for being precarious, I guess,” they said eventually. “I suppose you took care of them, though?”

“Yeah, wasn’t pretty.”

More silence.

“Listen…you don’t have to—”

“Don’t give me that crap.” The villain’s eyes were on the shelf, as if it was the only way of communicating with each other. As if this shelf was the equivalent of looking into each other’s eyes. Both seemed to be really bad at that right now. “I make my own decisions.”

“Are you badly hurt, though?” The hero asked. They shifted a little bit closer to the villain until their shoulder nearly bumped against the villain’s biceps.

“Looks worse than it is.” The hero could feel their little finger brush the side of the villain’s palm. They pulled their hand away. “Don’t worry about me. You on the other hand…”

“I’m okay,” the hero repeated. Again. Their hand against the villain’s fingers. And the villain’s fingers against theirs. Testing the waters. “…did you follow me?”

“I know most of your routines, I figured you’d buy some stuff after such a big fight.” The hero kept staring at the shelf and the villain did the same. The hero didn’t even dare to breathe. They didn’t know what they were doing, didn’t even remember if they were allowed to do this.

“You’ll never beat the stalker allegations,” they joked. Somehow, their little finger hooked around the villain’s slowly. The villain’s fingers were warm. Oh so comforting.

“I’m not— I mean…really, I…you mentioned buying sweets after a big fight once, so—”

The hero giggled again. Their index finger brushed the villain’s sensitive knuckles carefully. Were they allowed to take their nemesis’ hand? Were they allowed to be this close?

The hero was losing their mind, but they supposed the villain was feeling something very similar.

“I was just joking, I know you’re very attentive…” They took in a breath but their chest hurt a little too much to inhale properly. “…thank you for checking up on me.”

“Of course. Always.”

Ultimately, the hero let their fingers intertwine, making their heart race in their chest vigorously.

They couldn’t remember holding hands being such a big deal to them. Big enough that they couldn’t even look at the villain now.

The villain’s thumb kept rubbing the hero’s cold skin. Gradually. Very gradually.

“I know it’s a lot to ask and you can decline anytime…but can I take care of your wounds?”

The hero looked at them and finally, their nemesis did the same.

“I’d like that,” the hero said. Their cheeks felt hot.

“Okay,” the villain breathed. They stretched out their other arm without letting go of the hero and grabbed the bar of chocolate the hero had eyed on top of the shelf. “This one is on me.”

The hero nodded.

[avatar-anna]

Assistant! Reader x Harry Styles Masterlist

April 2016

“Thank you for meeting me.”

Y/n settled into the seat across from Harry. Her hands curled tightly around her mug, apprehension seeping into her bones. “Of course.”

She had been surprised when Harry called her, asking to meet at the Beachwood Cafe. She hadn’t heard from him in months, not one call or text, not even an email. Not that Y/n really expected much when One Direction finally went on hiatus, but after zero communication, she wasn’t quite sure why he’d called her all these months later. 

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages,” Harry asked.

Y/n’s eyebrows raised a bit, but she answered him anyway after taking a sip of her coffee. “Fine, I guess. You?”

“Good!” Harry said excitedly. “Taking a break the last few months has been…I don’t know. Peaceful, but odd, you know? I’ve never had so much time to myself before.”

“Must be nice,” Y/n said, trying to hide the irritation in her voice.

“Yeah, but I realized that I kind of miss it,” he said. “I knew once we decided on the hiatus that I wanted to do my own thing, but I thought I would take a longer break, but I feel like I’m…itching to get back to work.”

That definitely seemed like Harry. Y/n had worked for him for years, and even when there were breaks between tours, he was hard at work—writing, going to Fashion Week, collaborating with other artists, vocal training, even trying new recipes in his state-of-the-art kitchen, which led to a phone call at one in the morning where Harry asked Y/n to come over and see if his macrons tasted "fluffy enough." It seemed only right that he rested for mere months before starting a new project. She could practically picture him at either of his homes in LA or London, scribbling in his leatherbound journal or playing new melodies on his guitar or piano (and the occasional late-night pastry party). As long as she’d known him, Harry had been a hard worker through and through. A little on the wild side when he had some tequila in him, but when it came down to his career, he was focused, determined. 

“Good for you,” Y/n said, meaning it. She always thought he was capable of more. “So what comes next for you? Have you recorded songs already?”

“Not quite. I’m planning a trip to Jamaica to write and record there. It’s remote, serene, a good place to get away. So we’ll have to start booking flights and places to stay and—”

“I’m sorry, ‘We?’” Y/n asked, her brow furrowing with confusion. 

Harry matched her look of confusion with one of his own. “Yeah, I mean—I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

The sentiment warmed Y/n’s heart for a moment, but his immediate assumption that she would drop everything just because he asked her to brought the irritation swarming back. “Mr. Sty—Harry, you know I don’t work for you anymore, right?”

“What do you mean? Are you talking about the hiatus? I just thought we could all use some time off, but…I guess I just thought—”

Harry didn’t finish his thought, but his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. Y/n would’ve found it cute if he hadn’t been so dense. Resentment still circled around her like a fog, and she wouldn’t let it go so easily, she couldn’t. 

“I was employed by your management, Harry. To be an assistant to a member of One Direction,” Y/n explained. “I was let go. I had to quickly find another job doing something else.”

“Oh.”

Y/n supposed she should’ve anticipated being fired, but she didn’t. There was a lot of information that she was privy to that most people weren’t, secrets that were tightly bound by an NDA when she was first hired, but talks of the hiatus was very hushed. She knew to suspect that somewhere down the line the boys would finally take a break, but it came a lot sooner than she was prepared for, and she was left jobless before she had the chance to line something else up. Y/n thought that Harry would give her the courtesy of a warning, but he said nothing about it to her, didn’t offer much except a side hug after One Direction’s last performance.

So yeah, she was a little bitter.

“I’m—I’m really sorry, Y/n. I know it doesn’t make up for…all of this and everything you went through, but I am truly sorry.”

“Thank you.” 

Y/n believed him, believed that he was sorry for everything that went down, but it still hurt to know she wasn’t someone he was close enough to talk to about all of this at the time. She was Harry’s assistant, she knew that, but they’d been through a lot together. But he was ever the professional it seemed, and it was her job to remember that, not his.

When she realized her coffee was finished, Y/n stood up. “Well, it was good seeing you, Harry. Good luck on your next project. I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“Wait, but—you’re not—you‘re leaving?”

“I have to run a couple errands before work," Y/n explained. She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “But really, no hard feelings. I wish you all the best.”

She left Harry at the table, heading for the front of the cafe and toward the busy street beyond. Her heart felt heavy as she walked away, but she tried to shake the feeling that she was walking away from more than just her boss. Former boss. Like her mother always reminded her, she couldn’t be a personal assistant forever.

“Wait!”

Y/n turned on instinct, eyes widening as Harry jogged after her, his little bun bouncing with each step. He skidded to a stop in front of her, green eyes wide and searching. For what, she wasn’t sure, but the heat of his gaze was enough to make butterflies stir in her stomach.

Putting on her best front, she raised her eyebrows, waiting for Harry to say whatever he needed to.

“I wasn’t kidding earlier. I need you, Y/n,” he said. “I—You’re the only one who really knows me, who I know will have my back no matter what. I need a familiar face in my corner.”

I need you, Y/n. Those words were her kryptonite. Year after year, Y/n heard Harry's voice over the phone as he roused her from sleep, read the text messages while she was getting her nails done or watched TV in her hotel room, or on the rare occasion she went on a date. But she had to hold strong. Y/n had been devastated by her sudden layoff, but now she had a life, and she didn't want to get sucked back into Harry's very alluring web of charming smiles, cheesy jokes, and endless adventure. That was his life, not hers.

“I have a job, Harry. I can’t just drop everything and quit because you suddenly want me to—”

“What are they paying you?”

Y/n’s brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”

Harry pushed on. “What are they paying you? I’ll double it.”

Scoffing in disbelief, she said, “It’s not about the money—”

“Triple,” he countered. Harry took her hand in his and squeezed it. He looks desperate, Y/n thought.

“I can’t just quit my job because you remembered I existed,” Y/n said quietly, pulling her hand out of his. She clung to her resolve, hoping Harry would make this easy and just let it go, let her go. “I—I deserve more.”

More of what, she wasn’t sure, but Y/n knew it was true. Harry only reached out because he needed something from her, and that hurt more than she cared to admit. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Harry said, looking down at his shoes. A pair of scuffed Chelsea boots he wore practically everywhere. Y/n had bought him a pair of Vans one year, an attempt to switch up his wardrobe, but he still chose the boots nine times out of ten. “Just—At least think about coming to Jamaica. Please?”

“Harry—”

“Not as my assistant. As a guest. A friend,” Harry amended. “We’re planning on staying at a huge villa, and I want to make up for being an idiot. Just—Just think about it. Please.”

Despite everything, Y/n found herself wanting to say yes. It was that magnetic pull she felt toward Harry that had kept her working for him for so long. He was an important person in her life, and up until he’d all but ghosted her after the hiatus, she thought she was important to him too. In spite of his misgivings, Y/n still wanted to believe that she was. 

It was so stupid, but it felt good to be wanted by him. She was an idiot, she knew that. But her friendship with Harry was legitimate, he'd just acted like a complete idiot. She'd known him long enough to know he was very capable of acting like an idiot. So even though she shouldn’t, even though she had carefully lined up her reasons not to in a little line, she started to cave. 

But she couldn’t make the decision now. Not when Harry was looking at her with pleading green eyes and his sad little puppy dog face, his cologne dizzyingly lovely. No, she owed it to herself to really think about what she wanted. If getting sucked back into that whirlwind was worth it. Worth getting her heart properly broken when she knew he would never feel the same about her.

"I'll show up at work, you know," Harry said. "I'm not above it. You might think I am, but I'm not."

Y/n had no doubt in her mind that he would. Along with being an idiot, Harry was very stubborn, and very persistent. She had years with him to know that. Did she really need Harry Styles showing up at her place of work?

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” she finally said, trying to pretend like her heart was screaming to just agree. But her heart was an impulsive little shit that was bound to get her in trouble.

Harry’s face broke out into a wide grin, one that displayed those famous dimples and lit up his entire face. It was hard to feel like he didn't think she was the only person on earth to exist when he looked like that, like he was convinced she’d already said yes. “I’ll take it.”

[emvsswrites]

bodyguard - ft. sasuke uchiha

synopsis - sasuke’s newfound desire to protect you after your injury in the latest mission

tags - fluff, slight angst if you squint, not beta read, mentions of blood, injury, (takes place BEFORE joining orochimaru), mentions of hospital, overprotective behavior, (slight ooc i’m not completely finished with the series)

word count - 0.625

request - “Just saw your intro post, you don't write character x character...so nvm. No issue. But you can work with Bodyguard theme itself, I guess...(I'm bad at giving prompts i think lol)”…”@emvsswrites Yeah, if you are aligned with having Sasuke then yessss🙈❣️” - @purpleskiesupwards

‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚

Sasuke didn’t understand. He knew that you were a capable shinobi, hell, if his pride allowed it, he would even say that you were better than him.

So why did he feel this need to protect you?

After team seven’s latest mission against a particularly strong opponent, you had managed to be rendered unconscious after a deep cut to your waist, already being previously vulnerable by exhaustion caused by other enemies.

Your injury led you to get put into the hospital for a few days, which is something that, I kid you not, has never happened to someone as strong as you.

Sasuke convinced himself that was the reason for his panic. It was just..unexpected, that's all. Nothing else. Why would he worry for someone, anyways?

But he just couldn’t beat that gut feeling of needing to protect you.

Not so surprisingly, you were eager to be discharged from the hospital and continue to train. You can’t fall behind, that’s not even an option for you. Sasuke respected that, of course. He would’ve done the same, after all.

However, the sight of you struggling to even stand on your own—that shook him in a way far more severely than he should’ve.

“..Hey- uh..take it easy, (y/n)..”

You raised an eyebrow, the slightest smirk on your normally monotone expression—Now that was not normal of him to do.

“You should watch your tone, Sasuke. If I didn't know any better, I would think you were worried about me.”

“Wha- no, i’m not worried!” He stammered, feigning nonchalance. “You’ll just…drag the team behind if you’re injured. You’ll never heal if you keep working like that”

“..Ah..sure..” You remarked sarcastically

After that little interaction with Sasuke, one that should’ve made him calmer, it made him just feel even more scared. The way you struggled to even stand without wobbling—it seemed wrong for someone as strong as you.

With this sense of dread growing in him for your safety, he knew he should do something. (for him of course totally not out of worry for your well being or anything)

So what better than to just be a bodyguard for you and follow you around?

And so he did. Even though it was a bit weird at first, it was also funny to see the ever-prodigy so protective. No matter how much he tried to hide it, you could always tell what he was thinking.

“I'm not worried! it's so that you heal quicker and stop burdening the team.” (no it wasn’t)

“You’ll probably just end up working yourself to the bone and get worse, and you’ll bring us all down, I'm not worried.”

“I was just told by…Kakashi sensei to watch you, I'm not worried, he is.”

It was funny, actually. He was in a world of denial, but it’s Sasuke, what did you expect?

Of course, you wouldn’t be injured for too long, but you still found it odd that he continued to follow you around even after you became more mobile. So, one day, you decided to ask him.

“Hey, Sasuke?”

He turned to you, hands in his pockets as he turned to face you.

“What do you want?”

“Why do you still follow me around? I’m perfectly capable of doing these things myself now, y’know.”

He just about stopped in his tracks.

“I- uh..We just can’t have you getting hurt again and drag us all behind. Knowing how clumsy and weak you are, it’s probably gonna happen again.”

“Ah..alright then.”

He turned away embarrassed, and you subtly smirked. What he truly meant to say was ‘I was extremely worried about you being hospitalized, and I would rather die than witness that again’.

But you didn’t need to tell him that.

‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚⊹‧₊˚♪𝄞࿐₊˚

author notes - i had this as a draft for so long im sorry

[qin-qin16]

Wonder what it would feel like to have a soul bond with Ut sans someday, like- the fact that he trust someone enough to actually considering doing that is so wholesome.

Kinda wanna see how would he act when he realized he want to make a soul bond with reader, would he doubt himself? Would he just act on it? Would he just reassuring himself that maybe now is not the perfect time yet? There's just so many questions about how would he act on the situation makes me almost questioning myself lol.

I swear I love him so bad I wanna give him a smooch until can't think of the surrounding fiwhdlaizi2dnsoxgwxjayx

cw.: Sans x Reader, gn!reader, thoughts about soul bond, he is just a bit shy and anxious, fluff…

note: I didn't know if you just wanted my opinion or a oneshot, so I decided to write a little scene about it, hope you like it :D and I just realized that I never write for him before! Poor UT Sans.

He was always lazy — at work, with his puns, and even in his relationship with you -, but you didn’t seem to mind it. It had a certain domestic charm in a way.

However, he was being a little selfish in wanting a part of yourself just for him — a bit of your soul to bond with his forever. Yet, how could he express this to you? Do you even understand how precious and intimate this is?

Sans didn’t remember seeing anything like that in human culture; the closest comparison was marriage, but even that didn’t quite match the depth of soul bonding - and was unnecessarily expensive too. 

He tilts his head down, weary from thinking so hard about this. His weight seems to sink into the old couch, still tense with all the little engines working in his mind. You love him, right? So why the hesitation? Why is he so worried about your reaction? Is he afraid you might reject him?

No, you would never reject it — at least, not in the harsh way he imagined. You were kind and considerate, not someone who would cruelly laugh at his words.

“See? I told you I could match your lazy style!” He lifts his skull to you, seeing your figure appear in the doorway of your shared room — wearing one of his old blue coats and a black-stained shirt underneath.

Your proud smile in such a silly conquest made his own widen, finding your effort to amuse him funny.

“Well, I guess I’m not the only lazy bones around now.” He couldn’t resist the chuckle that escaped through his teeth when you snickered.

I can think about that later, Sans thinks as you come closer, your lips now pressed together but still showing traces of the wide smile from before.

However, he knows he can’t be lazy about this — especially when his own soul cries out whenever you're far away. I can think about that later, he repeats in his mind as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him again.

For now, he is content with the domestic life you share, mostly because he can almost feel your soul’s joyful rhythm against his chest whenever you’re in his arms.

[feligamifebruary]

Parisiens, Parisiennes, dragons and birds of all horizons,

Once again, Feligami February is just around the corner, and you may already be thinking of the wonderful creations you will bestow upon us throughout the month. It will be our pleasure to archive them on this blog, in case our timeline gets erased, and to answer your most burning questions below.

1. Tell me about the event!

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, Feligami February is a month-long fandom event dedicated to our favourite lovebirds. The principle is simple: to tickle your brains (and hearts!) with our prompts, so you are inspired to create the content you want to see on Tumblr on AO3.

When the time comes, simply upload your creation(s) to the #feligami february and #feligami february 2025 tags, and make sure to tag this blog: it will ensure we spot your work, as easily as Felix spotted the Peacock Miraculous under Gabriel’s tie.

2. What kinds of content/themes are welcome?

Any and all creative media are welcome: art, fics, AMVs, playlists, cosplays, moodboards, web weaves… as long as you do the creating yourself, and not through AI. The only thing we’ll be stealing this month is cursed jewellery.

While you are welcome to explore the themes of your choice, we reserve the right not to interact with smut and potentially triggering content based on our own comfort levels. Please make sure to tag your pieces appropriately to ensure the event remains fun and safe for everyone.

Poly ships are welcome, as long as they include Feligami of course!

3. I’m not sure I can cover all prompts/post on time. Can I still participate?

Of course! The entire point of this event is to have fun. Don’t overwork yourself.

4. I have an idea, but it doesn’t align with any of the prompts. Can I still post it?

Please do! The prompts are here for inspiration, not to suffocate you. Break your chains.

5. The creative process can be a bit lonely. Where can I meet other cool, motivated, brilliant Feligami creators like myself?

We have a Discord server, where you can hang out with fellow Feligami fans, share your ideas, and take a peek at the amazing content coming your way! Think of it as our own little window, on which we all draw hearts for each other.

If you’d like to join, please follow this link to the art room, where you will not be subjected to a creepy hallucination-based play.

Without further ado, we wish you all a lot of fun, inspiration, and bone-chilling musical numbers! 🎶

Full prompt list below! 🦚🐉

Week 1: Tropes 🪶

1. Once upon a time

2. Duel

3. Anti-hero

4. You & Me Against The World

5. Alternate Universe

6. Monster

7. Home

Week 2: Celebration 💎🌹

8. Diamonds

9. Flowers

10. First kiss

11. Reunion

12. Birthday

13. Family

14. Valentines

Week 3: Freedom 💍

15. FREE

16. Amok

17. Miraculous

18. Emotion

19. Pretension

20. Disobedience

21. Waltz

Week 4: Art 🎨

22. Watercolour

23. Stage fright

24. Representation

25. Journaling

26. Re-creation

27. A new world

28. Happy ending

[goosefruit]

the sound of her voice

vanessa shelly x reader

tw: phone sex, sub!reader, sex toys (bullet vibrator & dildo), teasing, orgasm denial, masturbation, maybe exhibitionism (not really? vanessa is in a public space but alone), a lot of dirty talk

================================================

You had always been a good girl for Vanessa.

Normally, on your days off, you’d wait patiently for her to come home, sometimes even dressing up to give her a pleasant little surprise. In return, she’d reward you with her tongue and fingers until the both of you were too tired to keep going. 

Normally, you would never tease her while she was at work, aside from the occasional suggestive text. 

Today, however, time felt unbearably slow. Every part of your body was aching to have Vanessa by your side, but it would be at least another 2 hours before she was home. 

That was when a wicked idea came to your mind.  

Getting off your living room couch, you made a trip to your bedroom closet to look for a couple of items. A blush crept up your cheeks as you thought about this brilliant plan that you were about to execute. 

You laid down on the bed with a small but powerful bullet vibrator, as well as the dildo that was usually attached to Vanessa’s strap-on harness. The silicone cock was a whopping 8 inches long, in a dark shade of purple. Memories of your girlfriend bouncing you on it in the back of her cop car flashed through your mind, sending a wave of arousal down to your core.

To make the experience even more pleasurable, you decided to wear nothing but one of Vanessa’s hoodies. Wrapped up in her scent, you felt as if you could close your eyes and pretend that you were laying in her lap. 

And so you turned on the vibrator and dialed her phone number.

“Y/N! What’s up, honey?” Her sweet voice sang out from the other end.

“Vanessa,” you slipped the toy under the hoodie, pressing it against your nipple. The sensitive peak became hard and erect at the contact, and you bit your lip to avoid making a noise. “Nothing’s going on today. I just reeaally wanted to hear your voice.”

Vanessa gave a light laugh. “Miss you too, babe. I just finished checking up on Freddy’s; thought there was a break-in, but it was just a raccoon who slipped in and broke some shit trying to get to a pizza that the new night guard left out." 

“That’s absurd! Hope the little guy at least got a bite,” the vibrator began to move lower, now at your hip bone. “So, does this mean you’re still in the pizzeria’s parking lot, in that cop car of yours?”

“Mhm,”

“Alone?”

“Completely. You know no one visits this place other than me and the ever-changing night guards.”

“Great,” you smirked to yourself, drawing soft circles on your inner thigh with the vibrator. “Because I’m in bed right now, warming myself up for you when you get home.” You turned the vibrator up a setting so that it was loud enough for her to hear through the phone. 

“Oh, are you now?” 

The confidence in her voice almost made you rethink your decisions, but you pushed through and continued talking. 

“And oh fuck, my pussy is so wet. It’s practically dripping for you, Vanessa.” Putting the phone on speaker, you set it down beside you so that you could run a finger through your slick folds while the other hand guided the toy closer. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, the things I want you to do to me, and the things I want to do to you. You drive me crazy, you know that? Fuck, I wish you were here with me.”

“Well, I can’t say that I’m not enjoying this newfound boldness, sweetheart.” There was a hint of raspiness in her voice. “But you know you could never touch yourself as good as I do.” 

The vibrator finally completed its journey to your clit, and a loud moan escaped from between your lips. 

“Mmm, fuck— and guess what, Nessa? I’m wearing nothing except for your hoodie…smells heavenly. Can almost pretend you’re here eating out my pussy. Ohh god—  feels fucking a–amazing—” 

You took the dildo and lined it up with your dripping wet hole, slowly pushing the tip in. The vibrator was still held in place on your clit, the double stimulation causing your eyes to roll back.

“I’ve got our favourite dildo here too. That huge one you love to destroy me with…better get it nice and lubed up for you when we have our fun later. It’s suuuch a shame you can’t see how well my pussy is taking it right now.” You pushed the entire length of the dildo in before pulling out to thrust it into your pussy. Keeping quiet was no longer a concern as curses and moans spewed out of you. “Ohh y–yeah— can you hear how wet my fuckhole is?”

“Yes baby, keep talking,” her heavy breathing was audible. 

You pounded the toy into your pussy harder. “If you were fucking me, I would hook my legs over your shoulders so you can rail me so deep I can’t walk the next day. Doesn’t that sound nice? Just like t–that, baby— bruise my fucking insides. Make me cum, Van– mmm!” At this point, you were rambling, saying anything that came to mind. Your brain had already turned to mush the second she started speaking in that sultry fucking voice. 

Vanessa let out a long groan, the same one you were used to hearing every time you made her cum. Did she just…?

“Fuck,” she panted, a quiet moan coming from her back of her throat. 

The realization made you halt in your actions. “Vanessa, did you just have an orgasm!?”

“Oh honey, I told you the parking lot’s empty. What? You thought I wasn’t going to touch myself to my pretty girl’s voice?”

The thought of Vanessa in the driver’s seat of her car with a hand down her pants made your stomach tighten with excitement. You began to fuck yourself with the dildo again. 

“V–Vanessa— I’m getting close too—” you pleaded, praying that she would let you cum from your own hands just this once. 

“Not yet, sweet thing. You’re going to stay on call with me while I finish my patrol for today, but don’t you dare cum before I get home.”

You whined, not knowing whether you could last even 5 more minutes. 

“But by all means, keep fucking yourself. My radio’s broken, so give me something satisfying to listen to.”

“Vanessa– I ca—’t—”

“You said you wanted me to make you cum, no? So be a good girl and hold on for me.”

Of course, you were her good girl. So even though your sensitive clit couldn’t possibly handle any more stimulation, you turned the vibrator up another setting.

“I’ll be home in an hour.”

[nightghoul381]

Ellis Twilight ~ Main Route Chapter 18

Disclaimer for route warnings | Masterlist

Additional Content Warnings: None Not a warning but a little note- They did not give Ellis' brother a name...

This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Villains. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!

Part 1

Liam: “Actually, Ellis has been going to work early in the morning and coming home late at night.”

Liam: “He hasn’t eaten much in the castle lately. I wonder if he’s eating properly outside?”

(Huh…)

Harrison: “He’s in charge of Jude’s work, he probably doesn’t even have time to sleep, right?”

As I frowned in worry, someone beside me tapped me on the shoulder.

Roger: “That’s perfect, you can bring him some food.”

Kate: “What!?”

Liam: “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be happy.”

Liam: “Ever since you left Kate, he’s…looked kind of gloomy.”

When I felt upset and looked around, Jude was the only one looking at me with cold eyes among the smiling faces.

Jude: “……”

It felt like he was asking��� “What did you go that far for?”

(…Just waiting won’t get me to Ellis' heart.)

Kate: “I-I’m off now.”

--

As I stood in front of the door to his room, my heart was beating fast and my hands were shaking as I pushed the tea trolley.

(What if he says he doesn’t want to see me?)

Just thinking about it makes my chest ache and I felt like giving up.

I knocked on the door lightly, dispelling those negative feelings.

Kate: “Ellis… are you awake?”

Ellis: “…Kate?”

Kate: “May I come in now?”

After a hesitant silence—

Ellis: “Yeah…That’s fine.”

Ellis held the door open and let me in.

Kate: “G-Good morning! I heard you hadn’t had breakfast yet this morning…”

Ellis: “So you brought it up for me…Thank you.”

Ellis peered at the plate on the tea trolley.

--Flashback—

Ellis: “…This is a problem.”

Ellis: “I want to make you happy…”

Ellis: “But I don’t know how to make you happy anymore.”

Ellis: “…Sorry. Just give me a little bit of time.”

--End Flashback—

(After that happened, we’d kept our distance for a few days…)

Ellis’ feelings and my feelings were left a tangled mess.

As I watched Ellis smiling at me, it was as if everything had been reset.

(…I guess that’s why.)

(What to eat, where to go for fun…)

(I feel like I want to just keep having a fun conversation like nothing happened.)

(I’m scared to step into Ellis’ mind.)

Ellis: “Fufu… all the things I like, you’re very kind, Kate.”

But then, what I saw of Ellis’ hands were different from before.

His hands were originally slender and beautiful, but now the bones were visible.

(We can’t just pretend that fight never happened and laugh together again.)

I pulled myself together and looked up at Ellis.

Kate: “…Ellis, you’ve lost some weight?”

Ellis: “That’s not true—”

I was about to say more, but when Ellis noticed my gaze, he smiled faintly, as if he was troubled.

Ellis: “Maybe so.”

Ellis: “…maybe it’s because I was lonely without you.”

Part 2

Ellis: “Maybe so.”

Ellis: “…maybe it’s because I was lonely without you.”

Previously when Ellis said something like that from up close, he’d have a calm look on his face.

But now—

(Even sitting down next to each other on the sofa, Ellis and I haven’t made eye contact.)

As if there was something in his eyes that he didn’t want to show.

Ellis: “Did the job with Jude and the others go well?”

***CHOICES***

1. Yeah...

**2. I wanted to talk about it now. +4 +4**

 3. Actually, it wasn't work.

*****

Kate: “That’s…actually what I came here to talk about.”

Ellis: “I was worried about you while we were apart, so I’m glad you want to tell me.”

I was nervous, but I had to tell him.

(I wonder if Ellis will be angry?)

(Or maybe it will make him sad…)

As long as he shows his emotions, that’s fine.

(If he doesn’t show anger or sadness…)

The scariest thing was— not being able to open the lid of the secret box.

Kate: “I’m sorry I left without telling you anything.”

Ellis: “No… I’m the one who’s sorry, for the way we parted the other day.”

Kate: “No, it’s mine.”

When I shook my head, Ellis’ lips loosened slightly.

Kate: “I went to check on something that had been bothering me for a long time.”

Ellis: “What was it you were wondering about?”

Kate: “Ellis…”

(My voice is trembling…)

I clutched my throat and looked straight at Ellis.

Kate: “I wanted to know why you think you have to keep your feelings in check.”

Ellis: “…”

Kate: “I thought there must have been something in the past that made you think that way, so I went to the town where you were born.”

Ellis: “…I see.”

Ellis: “Did you figure out anything?”

Ellis looked into my eyes.

Dark twilight eyes entwined me like thorns.

I felt as if my throat was tightening as I squeezed out the words.

Kate: “…Ellis…”

Kate: “Did you kill your brother?”

Part 3

Kate: “…Ellis…”

Kate: “Did you kill your brother?”

Ellis: “Yeah. That’s right.”

His voice was calm and his eyes were unwavering.

Kate: “That’s—”

--Flashback—

Ellis: “’Forever’ can only be obtained at the end.”

--Second Flashback—

Ellis: “If you were destined to despair tomorrow, would you want to make today last forever?”

--Third Flashback—

Ellis: “…Hey, Kate.”

Ellis: “How happy are you right now?”

--End Flashbacks—

Kate: “To make your brother’s happiness last forever…?”

Ellis: “--…That’s right.”

--Flashback—

Ellis: “It would definitely make you unhappy.”

Ellis: “Until I make your greatest happiness eternal,”

Ellis: “I have to keep my desires bound.”

Ellis: “So… I can’t tell you that I love you right now.”

--End Flashback—

The things Ellis said to me—

I slowly connected these with Ellis’ past.

Kate: “Ellis, feeling like you need to suppress your feelings to make someone happy…”

Kate: “…Does that have anything to do with what happened back then?”

Ellis: “……”

Ellis didn’t answer my question, just stood up and took out a photo from the cupboard.

Ellis: “That’s my brother, in the picture.”

Ellis: “I killed him 12 years ago.”

--

My brother and I were twins.

Ever since we were little, we loved to run around and play, climbing the walls and roofs of the village houses.

My brother looked a lot like me, but we were completely different on the inside.

My brother was so active that he sometimes ran off and left me behind—

It made me feel lonely.

Brother: “One day, I’ll go see more of the unknown world!”

Brother: “As fast as the sun sets, I’ll run as far as I can, chasing the twilight forever!”

“Go see more of the unknown world”—That was my brother’s favorite phrase.

Part 4

Brother: “One day, I’ll go see more of the unknown world!”

Brother: “As fast as the sun sets, I’ll run as far as I can, chasing the twilight forever!”

“Go see more of the unknown world”—That was my brother’s favorite phrase.

My brother always ran fast and far away, dreaming of a world he had yet to see.

But I was happy just running with my brother and jumping off high places.

Ellis: “I don’t care where I am as long as I can be with my brother.”

Brother: “Even if it meant staying in this town forever? In a tiny house?”

Ellis: “Yeah.”

“Being with my brother” is all I wanted.

Brother: “That’s boring. If you say something so carefree, I’ll leave you behind!”

Ellis: “No way, I’ll definitely follow you.”

Brother: “If you can keep up!”

It was a little sad to hear my wish was boring, but…

My brother and I were still children who couldn’t even leave the town where we were born and raised—

Since I knew he wasn’t going anywhere, I was able to stay by his side with peace of mind.

Back then, racing on hills at dusk was what made us happiest.

But…

--There was an accident.

My brother’s leg was crushed after being run over by a carriage.

His life was saved, but the doctor told him that he’d never be able to run around freely again…

His happiness was shattered in an instant.

Brother: “I can’t travel the world with you with this leg…”

Ellis: “Well… I can carry you, don’t worry.”

Brother: “That’s not the point!!”

The sadness was so strong that it hurt, and tears flowed from my brother’s eyes and from mine.

Brother: “I wish I had just died.”

Ellis: “…No.”

Ellis: “No… please, stay with me forever.”

My mother, father, the doctor, and I all tried our best to encourage him.

But my brother was getting angrier every day.

Part 5

My mother, father, the doctor, and I all tried our best to encourage him.

But my brother was getting angrier every day.

My brother had a photo of our family from when we were running around and held onto it as if he would die if he let it go.

Every time he saw the photo, my brother ended up crying and thrashing about in pain.

I thought that happy memories were breaking my brother’s heart.

(If the scenery outside and the memories will only hurt you… it would be better to lose them all.)

(I have to make my brother happy.)

I didn’t want my brother to suffer, so I hid the photo.

Brother: “Not there… it’s not there, it’s not there…”

I heard a noise and entered the room to find everything upside down, the desk, shelves and the floor were a mess.

Brother: “Ellis, where’s my photo…!?”

Ellis: “I hid it away. Brother, it looks like it hurts you every time you see it.”

Brother: “Why…What do you know?!”

Soon, my brother’s face turned red with anger.

Brother: “Looking at it, I could imagine for a moment…”

Brother: “The wind I feel while running, the temperature of the setting sun, the weight of my tired legs…”

Brother: “I could go anywhere while I was looking at it--!”

I thought that photo was taking away my brother’s happiness.

Ellis: “…I’m sorry.”

My brother was so angry that he started throwing random things at me.

But when I instinctively dodged the things he was throwing, my brother became even more angry.

Brother: “—Oh, that’s right. You’re always happy at home.���

Brother: “So how could you know?”

Brother: “I can’t go anywhere anymore, just like you wanted.”

Brother: “Are you satisfied?”

Ellis: “…No, that’s not it… I’m….”

I just wanted to make my brother happy.

I just wanted to get him away from the pain—

Brother: “In the end, your own desires are the most important things to you.”

--Is my true desire really just to make my brother happy?

Ellis: “That’s when I finally realized.”

Ellis: “When I saw that ‘my brother couldn’t live without me’—I was happy.”

Next Chapter | ***His Side Story - I will link on Ch 19 since that's really what the side story is for!

[lordeemailarchive]

how I’ve been, revised

(20/09/2023) (Solar Institute Bulletin No. 22) (From London)

Aftershow quiet in Helsinki

Hey,

I just finished writing you a long letter, catching you up on how I’ve been. It ended neatly, tied with a little bow. I chose my words well, but I didn’t tell the truth. So I’m starting again, gonna type and not look back, and send what comes out.

I’m in London, have been since May. Things feel clear here. I haven’t seen many friends; mostly, I’m alone with my thoughts. I go swimming, I go to work, I walk home or take the train, I eat in my kitchen, I go to bed thinking about what I’m making. I’m starting to miss my friends and family, like a vitamin I’m deficient in. Soon I’ll be going back to New York, and then home.

I’m living with heartbreak again. It’s different but the same. I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember. I’m not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn’t something to hide from, that there’s actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I’m sick of being with myself. I eat chocolate to try and manipulate the endorphins, bring back the sweet happiness of Easter morning. I sit in the time machine and wait for it to move, but it hasn’t been invented yet.

My body is really inflamed, it’s trying to tell me something and I’m trying to support it but nothing seems to help and I get frustrated. My gut isn’t working properly, my skin is worse than ever, I’ve gotten sick half a dozen times. I realised earlier this year that listening to my body is hard for me, it’s something I never really learned how to do. I’ve been trying to teach myself that this year, but it’s been hard actually, pretty confronting, has made me fully aware of all the times I ignored it or didn’t give it what it needed, shamed it for a fight or flight response, took a handful of pills and pushed through. The little yellow pill I took every morning for thousands of mornings since I was 15, I stopped taking it 5 days ago. Gonna see how it goes.

I go online and look at everyone. Beautiful people sing to me. Everyone’s gotten really good at the same thing. I look at arched backs and wet flower mouths, the right bag, the right sunglasses. I wonder if it feels as good as it looks, it’s been so long since I chose the best picture from a hundred, lined it up like pulling an arrow taut in a bow, and let it go. Everyone looks very thin. Just thinking that makes me feel tired and far away. I’m not sure if it’s having an effect on anyone else. I keep spending money, wondering if what’s in the package will make me feel right, but I guess I buy the wrong things. I was gonna go to fashion week in Paris, had all these grand plans, but this week I txted my manager and pulled out. At the start of my career I promised myself I’d never be one of the people in the light smiling if it wasn’t real.

Earlier this year, I ate two handfuls of mushrooms, solid doses that tasted like green dirt. I got a lot of information about what my body had been through in our time so far, what it needed, where God was and where God wasn’t; I felt in my bones how destabilising it is to leave home and start a new life the way I did. I also saw that my body is completely magnificent, and that hating it is as futile as hating a tree; that I truly, truly love doing my job, and that my life is like a beautiful tapestry, and every inch of it is precious and has meaning.

It might seem funny or be easy to forget, but I make records because I need to. The songs are spells; a spell to let go of something, a spell to unlock a door. Every time I put something into words just as I see it, set it to the right music, a knot comes loose in me. But it hurts too, confronting the knots. I’ve made enough records to know that this feeling of my skin coming off is part of it. I know I’m gonna look back on this year with fondness and a bit of awe, knowing it was the year that locked everything into place, the year that transitioned me from my childhood working decade to the one that comes next — one that even through all this, I’m so excited for. It’s just hard when you’re in it.

So in this state, I went out on a short European festival tour. We built a cool new version of the show in a couple days. It was good to change gears and get out of my head. I put effort into the show, changing the setlist and arrangements, it was cool how you picked up on that, and it felt good dancing to the new versions with you, looking out at you, all sweaty with your friends, all on the same drugs. I felt the throb of history that’s under this music now, how each year makes these songs feel more like collectively written and sung pieces. I left my body and merged with yours and it was ecstasy. Then I went home to a business hotel and washed the glitter and smoke out of my hair.

Lauren took some beautiful pictures — sharing a few with you here.

Backstage in Portugal.

Cute Polaroid series of the 6pm, 8pm, and 10pm versions of me on a show day.

I’ve read some great books recently, including Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, Speedboat by Renata Adler, Motherhood by Sheila Heti, Rough Translations by Molly Giles (brought into my life by sweet angel bookworm Chris Chang), Birds of America by Lorrie Moore; am waiting on my copies of ĀRIA by Jessica Hinerangi and Te Ana Ata: Menstruation In The Pre-Colonial Maori World by Ngāhuia Murphy. Was given Wawata - Moon Dreaming by Dr. Hinemoa Elder which I’m loving looking to as the Maramataka evolves.

It was Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori last week, I loved listening to this from London. This vid from Hemi showing the similarities between te reo Māori and ʻōlelo Hawaiʻi is so sick.

Been meaning to tell you about The Kindness Institute too, a mental health resource for Māori rangatahi that has recently lost government funding. Go check out the beautiful, necessary mahi they’re doing — I know the cost of living is cooked for Kiwis right now and pop stars asking people to donate sux, but if you work at a good sized company maybe you can wrangle a donation from your employers?! I’m gonna email my record company about it.

Other bits that have inspired lately:

Dieter Rams’ principle of “as little design as possible”. This fantastic interview with Thom Yorke. Maddie’s unbelievably beautiful Melo inspired tattoo.

Loving the beautiful new Troye songs and vids, Kelela’s Raven hitting right on the e-bike rides home, late to the magic of Frou Frou but glad I’m here, and the rest of my brain is M.T. Hadley, this great Te Whanganui-a-Tara based band Womb, and Talk Talk. And for those it concerns, have been pilled by parasocial big cousins Jason and Chris. My mum just sent me a Sylvia Plath poem that feels like it sums up the above, I’ll copy it here:

They thought death was worth it, but I Have a self to recover, a queen. Is she dead, is she sleeping? Where has she been, With her lion-red body, her wings of glass?

Now she is flying More terrible than she ever was, red Scar in the sky, red comet Over the engine that killed her— The mausoleum, the wax house.

Sylvia Plath, "Stings"

Hope you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t worry about me, I still laugh every day, it’s all moving, even when it goes slow. I’ve accepted the mission — I have a self to recover.

Speak soon, E X X X X X

(source: received this email)

[gretavanmoon]

an omnipresent force• ch 2

Chapter 2- DARK ENIGMA

Jake x reader (we'll get there... I promise)

Words: 12.4k

A/N: Semi-AU// Set six years in the future, the world has decided to cast humankind aside, starting with the poisonous entities that are destroying her the most.

Warnings: Dystopian Horror Cursing, Smoking, Mention of Drugs, Feelings of Fear and Uncertainty, An Apocalyptic World, Hunting, Violence (mention of firearms), Kidnapping, Wounds and Pain, Blood, Death & Dying, Burials, Lying, Deceit, Sadness, Panic Attacks, Use of Restraints, Mentions of Sex

Cheatham County, Tennessee

Five days later

Y/N

The old wood of the rocking chair squeaks beneath me as I gently move my body back and forth, snuggling into my thick afghan wrapped around my body. There is a light dusting of snow on the ground, and I’d spent the majority of the evening out here on the porch, taking in the scene of my grandparents’ farmland before me. The lead in the pencil I’ve been writing with all evening is starting to dull, but I press a little harder to get the last few sentences written down into my journal. 

December 29, 2030

Day five back at Pap and Gran’s farm. We didn’t do much today except peel some potatoes and boil chicken for broth. Gran’s state has deteriorated since we made it back here. Paps and I truly thought that maybe bringing her back to her home would make her feel better, but she’s only gotten worse. Part of me thinks that she might have just wanted to find her peace here, in her own home, in her own surroundings before she decides it’s okay to let go. Awful of me to think that, isn’t it?

I miss my Mom. And I miss my dad, and I really, really miss my brother. Having nearly no time to mourn them has truly put me in a weird headspace, I don’t know how I’m making it day to day. Sometimes I think back to that fear I felt when I first realized I had to get the hell out of my house when I found the faultline in my foundation, that feeling that it could all come crashing down on me at any second, burying me in walls and furniture and drywall to the point I can’t breathe… That’s what this feels like. Like I’m standing in my basement again, just waiting for the whole thing to crush me. 

The only thing that is keeping me going is Paps and Gran. And the fact that if I stop, then they stop. And Gran is already slowing to a crawl. 

I pull out my pocket knife from my pants, opening the blade and sharpening the graphite in my pencil a bit before licking the tip, and getting back to work. 

I’ve lost nearly 16 pounds, and my hair feels so thin. I can feel my muscles starting to wear out, and the joints of my bones are beginning to ache. Lack of nourishment, I guess. But I don’t let it stop me, and neither does Paps. We are still getting up at the crack of dawn every single morning to look for roaming wildlife to catch. Thankfully we were able to get our hands on six chickens, a rooster, a goat, and the neighbor’s old Blue Heeler, Hank. Hank sits by my Gran’s side day in and day out… I think he remembers that she used to throw him scraps out into the front yard.

The strangest thing happened to me yesterday, and I feel embarrassed to even admit it in this stupid journal. 

For the first time in months, I got the overwhelming urge to want to fuck. 

I wish I could write that in invisible ink like we used to do in text messages, yikes. But, I guess I have to realize that I am still a living, breathing woman who still goes through her monthly cycles, and still possesses the urges associated with it all. God, I  fucking laughed out loud at myself. I haven’t seen another man close to my own age since we left Nashville and I saw a group of young people throwing a cinder block through the front glass of a coffee shop. For fucks sake I’m so embarrassed. 

But I actually even dreamed about it last night. Real, true, romping sex in some strange place… it was so real that I woke up in a cold sweat with my heartbeat between my legs. Shit. I don’t even know who it was with, but that part didn’t matter. I used to love those pointless, carnal dreams that made you blush in your sleep. But damn, now? That’s as close as I’m probably ever gonna get. 

I had to spend the rest of the day fighting the flashbacks while spending time with my literal grandparents. Ignoring the fact that I used to daydream about it, then make a phone call to whoever, and make it happen. It used to be so easy. Shit, I miss random hookups. Fucking hell. 

Now I’m spending my days collecting freshly laid eggs before a pack of wild dogs come and kill my chickens. Goddamnit.

ANYWAYS. 

Tomorrow is my 33rd birthday. And I don’t even care. It feels silly to even think that even though the world is pushing me off the literal land I stand on, I still have to age. I still have to deal with being a human. And mourn the loss of my family. What the fuck. Just lost the last of my immediate kin, I’m digging up last season’s potatoes from the ground and nursing my sweet Gran as she lies in her bed in pain, and I’m having sex dreams. Really, really fucking good sex dreams. If I could roll my eyes with paper and pencil, I’d be doing it right now. The human experience is so fuc

My thought process is stopped when I hear the sound of something I haven’t heard in literal days. Weeks? I don’t know… But I hear it, the faint sound of a tune and a melody coming through an old, staticy speaker. I close my pencil into my journal and stand, realizing I’d been sitting outside for a while now as the stars had become bright and the moon sat high in the sky. 

My brow furrows as I listen harder. It’s Billie Holiday. I push the front door open and enter the warm house, firstly noticing the crackling fire that Paps had kept burning all day. I then saw him standing in the dimly lit corner, fiddling around with his old vinyl records and adjusting the volume of the music. The wall behind him is stuffed full of records, floor to ceiling and two shelves wide… all full of the music he filled mine and James’ lives with since the time we could walk. He’d been collecting his entire life.  Truly, I owe my love of music to him. 

“Paps…” I say softly as I enter the living room. 

“Hey youngin’, sorry if I disturbed ya…” he said, puffing some pipe tobacco smoke up into the air. I used to tell him he needed to quit, but now… what’s the use?

“You didn’t, Paps.”

“I sorta… forgot that music exists,” he chuckled, opening the cover of a Bill Monroe album and inspecting the inside.

I place my hand on his back, giving him a few pats as I lay my head against his shoulder, watching the record spin on his antique hand-crank phonograph. “I kinda did too, actually,” I reply, admitting it to myself. “What made you pick Lady Day?”

He shrugs. “Not sure. Always loved her voice, hated it when she passed. She left one hell of a legacy, though, huh? Your Gran sure loved her, that’s for sure,” he mumbles on, looking back to the daybed we had set up for Gran in the living room so she could be closer to the heat of the fireplace. 

“Love her, Don. Not loved. I ain’t dead yet,” we both hear Gran stir from under her blankets. The both of us erupted in a fit of laughter at her unbridled and filterless sense of humor. 

“Hell’s fire, Jane. Didn’t think you’d be able to hear us,” my Paps laughs as he places the cover back down on the table and goes to join her at her side. I follow behind. “Did we wake you?”

“You did, but that’s okay. No better way to be woken up from a dreamless sleep than by some pretty music,” she says, propping herself up on her pillows. She still has so much strength, and though she’s weakening by the day, I’m still astounded by her ability to get up and even walk herself to the restroom. “And!” she boasts with her crooked finger in the air. “No way I wanted to miss my favorite granddaughter’s birthday when the clock strikes twelve,” she adds with a reassuring nod. 

“Gran, you don’t need to stay up this late! It’s almost midnight now, go back to sleep,” I push her, not wanting to miss one second of any rest she can get, while also wishing that she and Paps could sit up and reminisce with me until the sun comes up. I’d give anything to have just one more hour with my parents and James.

“Oh, child, I’m fine!” she pushes my hands away, pulling herself back up. “You’ve gained another year. This day and age, that means something, you know?” Her voice is weak, but she still sounds like herself, her southern drawl coming out to play as she tries to fluff the pillows behind her. 

I nod in understanding. “If you say you want to stay up, we’ll stay up!” 

There really isn’t such a thing as a true bedtime, anymore. I’m up at strange hours of the night, take many naps throughout the day… time doesn’t matter, aside from the rooster reminding us of when the sun is about to come up every morning. 

But we still set the clock, and we’ll change the batteries. The Grandfather clock against the back wall reminds us of each hour, every day. And how lucky we still are to have each and every one, no matter how long they drag us on. 

Gran taps her fingers along to ‘Love Me or Leave Me’ as Paps sings quietly along, and I place a few new logs onto the fire to keep it burning. The smell of this house has always stuck out to me– matured wood, the scent of the barn wafting through the cracked windows, the Murphy’s Oil Soap that Paps was always obsessed with cleaning the floors with… it’s all still stuck here, unmoving in time. Just like the photos on the walls, the dinnerware filling the shelves, and the wall that’s covered in pencil markings and dates, marking mine, James’, and my father’s height growth over the years. 

It’s all still here, exactly where they left it. Exactly where they carved things into the load-bearing beam that runs the span of the house. The wearing in the wood of the floor where Gran stood for fifty some odd years in front of the stove cooking meals. The screen door that hangs haphazardly on the front door, the screen ripped and aging as it served its purpose keeping the flies out of the house for however many summers.

A time capsule. And by god, were the three of us overjoyed when we pulled up and found it not sitting at the bottom of a sinkhole.

“Have you got any Sinatra?” my Gran asks, pulling me from my deep-thought trance as the Billie record spins now, without any sound. 

“Of course, sweetheart,” Paps agrees as he stands to replace the record, knowing that he’d give my Gran anything she could ever ask for, just like he always had. 

He makes his way back over to his setup and finds exactly what he’s looking for, switching the vinyl out and putting the needle back down. Gran tilts her head back onto her pillows as she hears Frank’s voice come over the crackly violin sounds. 

“Ol’ Blue Eyes,” she mutters before sitting back up and grabbing at my hands. “You know, Y/N, I didn’t always love music, it was your grandfather’s doin’ that got me to fall in love with it.” Much like he did for me, actually. “Of course I’d go to the dances at the school and I knew a few songs here and there, but it was when I met him that I truly found my love and appreciation for it.”

“He’s had that effect on us both, then, hasn’t he!” I jest, smiling and squeezing at her frail hands. We both glance at him still standing by his collection, eyeing the spines of the covers and pulling them out to look over. I truly did owe a lot to him, he taught me more about artists than I could have ever taught myself. Older ones, especially. He knew the stories that were never recorded in interviews and tabloids. He knew, because he kept them all in the back of his mind as if they were his own family stories.

“That man got me to follow the Dead around for nearly six months before I told him he’d better get me back to Tennessee so I could have me a garden,” she went on, making my face warm with a grin. I’d heard the story a hundred times before, but I’d sit and listen to it a hundred times more, if time would let me.

“Oh, shoot, Jane. We had a good time,” Paps interrupted, scowling at her as he puffed his pipe. 

“Didn’t say we didn’t, Don!” she pokes back, and I can tell they’re about to get into one of their little playful spats. “Your grandfather and I tried LSD for the very first time while we sat in a drum circle after a Dead show in Kansas City,” she said, her eyes wide as she still held my hands. 

Now that, they’ve never shared before. 

“Gran!” I exclaim, truly surprised.

“Now Jane!” Paps barks from his place.

“What?!” she replies, shrugging her bony shoulders. “It was a damned good time and I can honestly say I came back a changed woman. Nothing wrong with that, now is there? I’ve lived one hell of a life…” she trails off, earning a scoff from Paps as he waves her off. “There should be nothing stopping you from still living your life, Y/N. Do you hear me? The Earth might swallow us up, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep running, keep on living, you understand, child?” she asks, moving her cold hands to cup my cheeks.

“‘Course I do, Gran. I promise,” I relent, and I envy her ability to speak to me with this regard, knowing that the end of her life is near.

“Good,” she pats the side of my face. “Don, how about a little acoustic for a dying old woman?”

Paps drops his shoulders. “Now Jane, do ya have to keep talkin’ that mess, or am I gonna have to make you?” he teases.

I laugh and stand to go into the kitchen as Paps makes his way over to the corner, plucking his old acoustic from its place. I re-wet Gran’s cloth in the icy water, wringing out the dripping water and returning to place it back over her chest. 

Paps sits beside us on the daybed, the smoke rising from his pipe as he plucks at his strings, his feeble but strong hands re-tuning them to where it sounds best. My grandfather is, and was, a very handsome man. Strong and built like an ox. I can see why Gran followed him around chasing after the Dead for six months.

Finally he strums a perfect chord, raising his eyebrows at Gran as she smiles back at him. “Guess it’s a good thing I never got my hands on an electric, hm?” he says as he bites the end of his pipe. 

Neither Paps or I have shown any signs of the rash, at all. No where. And neither of us could fathom why.

The two of us sit and listen to Paps play a plethora of familiar tunes, his fingers still agile enough to float over the strings and play little snippets of all of Gran’s favorites. I can feel Gran’s body relax as she listens to him, her mind probably floating through a million memories of watching him play over the years. He hums along a little as his eyes close on their own, listening to himself play. I swear I could sit here for days. 

After a few minutes, his fingers contort and play a little more harshly, strumming out a tune that hits a nerve buried so deep within me, I almost cry right there on the spot. His very own rendition of one of my favorite songs in the world, You’re the One. 

“Paps…” I murmur, almost whining.

“Hush, child, let me see if I can still pull through these chords,” he shushes me. And he does. I want to scorn him for bringing up the music that was made by my favorite band in the entire world. But then again, in later months, Greta had become one of his favorite bands, too. 

“Babe, ain’t no denyin’, that I got you in my head…” he sings to Gran, making her cover her face with her hands. He plays through about half of the song before he stumbles over a note or two, and decides his hands have gotten too tired. 

“How dare you, Paps. You know that struck a nerve…” I say, scowling at him. 

“Oh, quiet, now. You used to walk around the house singing their songs for days on end. Watch those silly videos of them, hell. How many shows did you go to?” he asks, truly schooling me on my own obsession with that band.

“Twenty-three,” I mutter under my breath. 

“How many?”

“Twenty-three! Okay?” I play along with him, the both of us knowing that he attended the last five of them with me. 

We’d traveled over to Kentucky for his first time seeing them live after I’d shown him a few of their songs. He was hooked after his first play of From the Fires, ripping the album cover from my hands to read along with the lyrics. After that we moved on to Anthem of the Peaceful Army, Garden’s Gate and so on, each play enrapturing my grandfather even more than the last. 

“These kids have some damned promise, that’s for sure. This is a sound I haven’t heard in ages… and their talent? Boy…” he’d said. I still remember the day I surprised him with tickets to his first show, watching him fall in just as much love with them as I was. Swaying along to their classics, singing along with the lyrics he’d learned to love. He learned their names, he learned their personalities a little. He even met a few of the friends I’d made along the way, flirting with them as we’d all stand in line before a show. 

It was Paps and Gran’s travels with the Grateful Dead that inspired me to follow Greta Van Fleet around on their tours. Not for six months straight, as I had to hold down my job, but nonetheless. Twenty-three shows I went to over the course of nine years. Strange Horizons all the way up to their last tour before the world shut down. I had tickets and plans to meet up with my group of friends for a show after Greta had gotten back from Greece, but, of course that never happened. 

Paps grew to love them just as much as I loved them. Love them. For so many years, they were my escape. My solid rock to land on as the headaches of daily life surrounded me. I made lifelong friends through them. Traveled to other countries to see them, with my friends by my side. I watched them grow into men, as I had grown into a woman right alongside them. Watched them evolve, grow, and retreat into silence before exploding back onto the scene with something brand new and fresh, roping me right back into their world. Obsessing over every little detail they fed us. Digging deeply into the meanings of songs, and discussing all the lore with my cohorts on social media. I can account many of my life’s milestones to at least one song of theirs. 

Now, when I find the world more quiet than it ever has been in my lifetime, I find myself reminiscing on those times, some of the best times of my life with that band, and my friends that felt more like family. I catch myself humming their songs, just trying to keep myself centered and rooted to the earth as it literally is falling apart beneath my feet. Greta was always my solid foundation, and even during the End of Days, they hold true to that assignment.

The grandfather clock finally decides to strike midnight, signaling my 33rd birthday.

“I’m sorry we can’t celebrate like we normally would, sweetheart,” Paps says as he continues lightly strumming.

“It’s okay, Paps. Just having the two of you still here with me is celebration, enough.” And I truly mean that. I watch as Gran’s sullen eyes fill with tears as she watches the two of us, and I know I’d give anything to keep the two of them alive as long as I possibly could. But her rash is worsening by the day, and Paps and I can tell that though she puts on a tough exterior, she’s suffering inside.

Gran had fallen back asleep peacefully to the sound of Paps’ acoustic, and we covered her up and threw another few logs onto the fire to last us a few more hours, at least. Paps kisses my forehead after he places his guitar back on its stand in the corner, wishing me a happy birthday as we both retreat to our beds.

+++

The next morning, I wake to myself shivering; Paps and I both must have slept through the night without waking up to tend to the fire. I stretch my muscles and rub my eyes, but I’m instantly startled  by the sound of someone coughing. I throw on my robe and slippers and rush to the living room, finding Gran sitting up in her bed, coughing terribly. Paps and I are by her side in seconds, asking her what she might need to get through the fit, but she just shakes her head. 

Her skin is cold and gray, and it looks as though her muscles are shaking uncontrollably. She’s almost completely covered in the rash, now.

“Do you want to get in the tub, Jane? Do you need to get in the water?” Paps begs of her, kneeling by the bedside. 

She shakes her head more. “No,” she chokes out. Her throat sounds scratchy and dry and we offer her water, but that, too, she rejects. Finally her coughing subsides and she relaxes back, and Paps and I share a knowing look. A look that we’ve both shared three times, when everyone else finally succumbed to the rash. 

This is so fucking unfair. Why don’t I have the rash?! Why can’t I take this pain away from her? Why am I not suffering, too?!

“I’m ok Don. I’m ok,” she mutters, her voice barely her own. 

We both sit there with her for hours, until the sun is noting midday. We hold her hands, caress her face, talk to her, tell her stories… anything to get her to pass with as much comfort as we can. She coughs, still, but each time she begs us to carry on with talking to her. I watch as my grandfather finally sheds a tear, wiping it free from his face as he sniffles through it. 

“Don’t you dare cry for me, Don,” Gran says. “We’ve had a beautiful life together. Beautiful… family,” she struggles to breathe. My chest feels heavy, too, with the overwhelming amount of sorrow it’s holding. I want to throw my fist into the wall, curse everything that has ever lived. I feel a rage building up in my stomach, one that is beginning to burn with so much fury that when it finally awakens, I’m not sure I’ll be able to contain it.

“I love you, I love you both…”

And with one small exhale, she ceases to breathe any more. 

We both allow ourselves time to weep at her bedside for a minute or two before I finally stand and open the windows, uncaring of how it will chill the house. I wanted to let her soul be free. 

+++

It took me about three hours to dig my grandmother’s grave, as the ground was hard from the cold and one shovel can only dig so fast. Hank the heeler was by my side the whole time, sitting and watching guard as I threw the shovels of dirt into a neat pile. I insisted Paps let me do it alone, and he spend a little bit of time with her to say his goodbyes.

 It was cathartic, really, putting my body through physical grunt work as I let the tears fall freely. I wept for her, for the rest of my family, for the heartbreak of my grandfather. But mostly, I cried for myself. I shouldn’t have, it felt selfish to, but I had hardly allowed myself any time to feel sorry for me. Fuck, a person can only take so much. My heart was already broken into a thousand pieces, but the numbness of the past few months had shielded my ability to listen to myself. My body somehow must have felt the need to get it out, so that I could put a brave face on for Paps. He’d need me to. So, as a rare bit of bright sunlight came down and scorched my arms, breaking through the freezing cold wind, I allowed myself to cry again.

It’s almost sunset, now, and Paps had wrapped Gran up in a few white sheets, topped with a pretty lace tablecloth that she had woven many years ago. It used to cover the dining room table, but it did seem fitting for it to be with her, now. 

I give Paps a sweet smile as I make my way into their bedroom, sitting on her old chest as I open the top drawer of her armoire. There, arranged still so neatly, was all of her expensive jewelry that she hardly ever wore. Gold bracelets, diamond rings, emerald-encrusted pieces… all if it is so precious, so valuable, and so completely worthless. 

I take a second to collect it all up and slip it into a canvas drawstring bag, making sure first to keep just one piece out for myself. She’d have wanted me to, I’m positive of it. 

A sterling silver ring topped with the prettiest piece of deep blue turquoise. Her grandmother had given it to her many years ago, and she only ever wore it to special occasions, but it fits perfectly on my middle finger. And if I wanted something to remember my grandmother by, it would most definitely be this. 

I go back into the living room and gently grab my grandmother’s cold, bruised hands, replacing each piece of precious jewelry onto her fingers and wrists wherever I can fit them, stacking them one on top of the other. 

“Should we add her books, Paps?” I manage to ask. 

He shakes his head solemnly. “No, might be best to keep things like that above ground…” 

Paps and I make our way out to the barn as dusk falls, and I light the few candles he has placed around on the shelves and tables. It’s dilapidated but in a good way; the walls and ceiling showing wear of many, many years of hard work. I watch as Paps grabs up one of the candles and walks to a swing door I’d never really noticed before, using some force to pull it open and propping it with a cut of a two-by-four. My eyes take a second to adjust to the darkness as he walks further inside the room, illuminating the space. There in the center of the small room is a pine box casket.

“Paps, what in the world? When did you…?” I breathe, walking closer to it. I notice that it has my grandmother’s name carved right in the top, the letters painted in black.

“About fifteen years ago, I’d say. Jane and I always said we wanted to be buried right here on the farm, when our times came. Guess we never told you kids about that. Your parents knew, a’course, but we never dreamed they’d go before us…” 

Paps pulls his blue handkerchief from his back pocket and wipes his nose, his eyes still dripping with remnant tears. 

“It looks really good, Paps. You did a great job,” I commend him, but he pays no mind. Instead he blows across it, relieving some of the old sawdust from its home on the lid. He pulls the top open and inspects it again, pulling a few pieces of straw from the inside. 

“Help me get it over to the site?” he asks, and I realize I’d never even asked him where he wanted me to dig the grave. I just picked the prettiest place that I could. Something tells me he would have picked the same place, too. “Under the willow?” he asks. 

Great minds.

“Under the willow.”

We lower the casket onto the wheelbarrow and roll it across the back yard and along the fenceline, right beside the weeping willow tree. It was Gran’s favorite place to come and lie in the grass with a book. Hank walks alongside us, his snout on guard for any wild packs that may be a threat to us. 

Together, we lower the pine box into the hole I’d dug, making sure it was level at the bottom. “Want me to go get her?” I ask. 

“I’ll get her,” he responds as he takes off back toward the house. The wind is whipping my hair across my face, now, as the stars are beginning to show themselves, and I can’t stop myself from crying again. This shouldn’t be happening. I shouldn’t be standing beside a grave I just dug, with a casket my grandfather built, watching his back walk across the tall grass to retrieve the body of the love of his life. This shouldn’t. Fucking. Be. Happening. 

In the moonlight, I finally see the figure of him coming back through the shadows with her in his arms. I silently thank the heavens above that he is a strong man, still yet, with more brute strength than any man his age should have. Just like James.

I help him lower her inside, but not before the both of us place kisses on either of her cheeks. I work to cover her back up with dirt as he stands behind, Hank begging his hand for a pet.

“You wanna say a few words?” I ask him as I throw the last shovelful of dirt on top, wiping a hand across my cold-sweat forehead. 

He takes a quick, chopped breath. “Sixty-two years wasn’t nearly enough with you, sweetheart. Won’t ever be enough. Thank you for every single laugh, every single tear, every single argument and happy moment. Thank you for our beautiful children, and grandchildren, and thank you for filling my heart with more joy than any man should have the privilege of havin’. You sure made my life worth livin’. Give ‘em hell up there in heaven, Janie. I know ya will. I love ya to the moon.” He sniffles again as he gives in to Hank’s requests, finally leaning down and wrapping a strong arm around the dog. I sidestep and wrap my arm around him, too, and we stand there in the wind until we can’t stand any more.

JAKE

“RRRUHHHHH!” I growl loudly as I wake up from unconsciousness in a full-on panic. My eyes are shifty and dry as I work to sit myself up quickly, my hands still bound at my back. The tape is gone from my mouth now, though. 

It’s dark, and it's cold, but I’m indoors. I just can’t fucking see a god damned thing. 

“Hey! Help!! Can anyone hear me?!” I yell, my voice echoing hard off the walls that surround me. My voice feels dry and knotted in my throat as I try to swallow what little moisture I have in my mouth. When I get no response, I crack my neck sideways as pain sets in over my body, and not just from my arms being bound. I feel as though my legs have been hit with something hard, and my back feels like it’s bruised and sore. What the fuck? What the fuck!

“Heyyyyy! Somebody come and fucking talk to me! What do you want?!” I yell again, my heart rate flying as reality sets in that I’ve been kidnapped from the cabin. Alone. 

The last thing I remember is being alone in the back of that truck, rolling around as whoever was driving had little care for it’s cargo in the back. Maybe that’s why I feel bruised and beaten. Or maybe it’s not. 

Yes, alone. In the truck… six intruders… weapons… it’s all coming back now, in little spurts of memory. Where is everyone else? Where is my family? When was I brought in here? I feel bile rising in my throat as I feel a panic attack setting in, and I grind my hands against one another so as to try and free them from their ties. But it’s no use, of course. It only digs them into my skin more. 

I sit in silence listening to only the sounds of my uneven breathing, trying to calm myself and make a plan of action. No time to fall into fear, Jake. 

I maneuver my body around to get to the walls, standing on my sore legs to turn and let my hands run along them. There’s nothing there– no windows, no chairs or furniture. Just a box. I diligently run my hands along every one. Four walls. With nothing. Nothing but– 

A door. 

I turn my body to try and find a doorknob or whatever to open it, and when my hand finally grasps the spherical knob, I realize that the mother fucker is locked. Of course. I turn and slam my shoulder into it a few times to see if I can pry it, but it’s no use. “Hey! You son of a bitch! Let me out of here!” I yell again, getting mad, now. 

“Quiet, Jacob,” a voice I do not recognize suddenly fills the room. My stomach drops. 

I open my mouth to reply, but nothing really comes to mind. The voice is male, but distorted. Quiet? QUIET? 

“Who the fuck are you? Open this door and come and talk to me!” I yell again, my body suddenly feeling like my blood is going to pulse from every orifice of my body. 

There is a long pause. 

“I said quiet, Jacob,” it repeats. 

I grit my teeth. This voice is really pissing me off. 

“I’ll be quiet when you come in here and fucking show your face!” I yell even louder this time.

There is another long pause, and finally, I hear the metallic screeching of the heavy door opening. I waste no time in trying to push through it, relying on only my hearing to know what is going on, just as I had back at the cabin. Everything is so fucking dark.

But I get nowhere. I’m stopped by my body running into two stern and sturdy men again, pushing back further into the echoey room. I nearly lose my footing, but I press forward again, determined to get through that fucking door. But they stop me again, thrashing my body back so hard I hit one of the walls. It nearly knocks the breath from me, but I catch it. “Who are you? What do you want? I want to see my fam–”

“It’d really do you good to stay fucking quiet, like we told you to.” Suddenly I feel a gloved hand cupping across my mouth, stopping me from speaking. The man’s face is close to mine, whispering in my ear as he pins me back against the wall with his other arm. “Do you understand? Can you keep your voice down?” It asks, a little more lax. 

After a few seconds, I nod, but my mind doesn’t have the time to process another plan. Maybe if I cooperate, they’ll let me the fuck go. His hand slowly falls from my mouth, and I stay quiet, nothing filling the room now but my haggard and nervous breathing, again. “Who are you,” I whisper, my tone demanding. 

I notice that the second man must be standing behind the one still holding me to the wall, hearing him huff a laugh under his breath. How can they fucking see me? 

“Let’s just say that if you play your cards right, we’ll be your new best friends,” the man says as he releases my chest, allowing me to breathe. I hear the tear of velcro twice, realizing he must be taking his gloves off. 

“I don’t need any more fucking friends. I have plenty back at home,” I bark, still gritting my teeth as I stay at a quieter level. 

They laugh again. “Home? You mean the cabin you were holed up in? Barely surviving?” the man behind the first asks sarcastically. 

“Home is where my family is, actually,” I bite.

“Aww, isn’t that cute,” they laugh at me again as I hear that they’re both standing, now. I should try and run again, right? But it might get me knocked unconscious again. Maybe not. Not yet. 

“Little Jake Kiszka, maybe you really do have the heart of gold everyone says you have,” the first one says. “Maybe being rich and famous didn’t get to you, after all.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about? Who are you? How do you know my name?” I ask. 

They both scoff again. “You’re fairly fucking famous, my guy. Lots of people know your name,” the second one blurts. My guy? Who–

“Well it’s pretty convenient that I don’t know yours, seeing as how you have me fucking tied up in a pitch black room. Can we cut the shit? Or am I gonna have to try and run again?” I ask, completely over this game. Suddenly, I don’t feel very threatened. 

“You won’t get very far if you do, Jake,” the first one whispers, and I hear his boots step closer to me again, and his breath hot on my face. “Listen to me, and listen closely, okay? Are you listening?”

“Yeah, fuck, I’m listening,” I say.

“We told you to stay quiet for a reason. You’ve been captured by an outfit that’s been around for a long, long time. But you weren’t caught for just any reason,” he goes on, barely audible. 

“What does that mean? What reason?” I ask. 

“They’ve got reason to believe that you know.”

“Know what?” I ask, confused. 

“Why the fucking world ended. Or actually, how. Your brothers, you all wrote about this, didn’t you? In your music?” he goes on, and if I wasn’t confused before, I sure as shit am now. 

“What?!” I squeal, almost laughing. “You’ve got to be kidding me…”

“Hmm-mm. They aren’t kidding. Does it feel like they’re kidding right now? No.”

“Why do you keep saying they? You are the one that’s got me locked up, right now,” I retort. 

“Because we’re pretending,” suddenly the other one is in my ear. “They think we work for them. The brunt work. The dirty jobs…. Like kidnapping you,” he says. 

“Listen Jake,” the other interrupts. “We know you, we know who you are. We were… we were fans of your band, back then. But these people, the ones who hired us, they trust us. And they have worse plans for you than holding you in a dark metal box with your hands tied…”

“Why me? Why did they take me?” I ask. 

“Your music, your songs… you fucking predicted more about all this than you think you did,” the other explains. 

Josh’s dreams. 

“We didn’t predict shit, we were just writing fucking songs, we didn’t–”

“All of it is real, Jake,” the first whispers, his lips brushing my hair. “The stories you told, the worlds you built… all of it exists, and has existed for a long time.”

“I don’t get it,” I say, blinking my eyes in the darkness. 

“The lyrics you wrote about, the Garden you all dreamt up… It exists. In a complete other realm.”

I damn near laugh in their faces. “You’ve got to be kidding me, right? This is a joke?”

They stay quiet for a beat. “No jokes here, Jake. Just know that more is happening than you could ever even fathom. It’s not just the end of the world here. It’s the end of the world there, too. Well, it’s about to be, if the battle is lost,” the second says. 

“You’re both insane, and I’m in on some kind of prank. This is all a joke!” I argue. “We didn’t create that world...”

“No, you didn’t. But you knew about it. You wrote songs about it, didn’t you? You told tales of a Battle, wrote songs about war and peace, lyrics about the water rising, and the air so thin…”

My head is spinning. I’m getting a headache. And I could really use a fucking cigarette.

“Yeah, global fucking warming, who didn’t know about that?” I defend. 

They both laugh under their breath. “Let’s just say you guys literally wrote the time and space of another world as if you’d read their history books. And, lived there alongside them.” 

There’s no fucking way. This is absolutely ridiculous. 

“What do you mean if the battle is lost?” I ask, the question coming from my mere curiosity. 

The second crouches down in front of me again, from what I can tell. “Our world here has already begun to end, right? Technology itself is murdering us by the boatloads. The thing we created. It’s omnipresence became too much for earth to handle, started to suck away at her resources and poison her. Poison her natural way of ebb and flow. So she said fuck you humans, I don’t need you. You shall all suffer my wrath, and I’ll use the poison that you created to kill you,” his voice had gotten a little dramatic, as if he was reading a romantic tragedy. 

“Okay Shakespeare, we get it,” the first says, and I can’t help but laugh a little. “Here’s the thing… the other realm is suffering, too. What happens on earth is mirrored in that realm, but the mirror isn’t a clear reflection. It’s more of a…”

“Cloudy and messy shadow of what happens in our realm,” the other says. 

“Yeah, actually,” the first agrees. “It happens here, it happens there, just not the exact same way. So their world is suffering, too. But they’re going to try and stop it.”

“How are they going to do that?” I ask.

“...Have you not figured that out yet, man? Don’t you think that uh— capturing a few guys who have predicted it all to a tee so far and using them for information on what’s to come next wouldn’t be a nice and easy route for them?”

“You’re shitting me, right?” I say blankly. “You kidnapped me because they think I know what’s going to happen next after the world ends?”

“Mm, kind of. You’ve gotten it all right, so far.”

No, Josh has. Apparently.

“That and… a pretty good other reason,” the first mumbles. 

“What other reason?”

“You don’t have any signs of the rash yet, do you?” the second inquires, throwing me off. How would he know that?

“No… but what’s that have to do with all of this?” I say, my mind spinning. 

“You’re an immune. Just like us,” the second says with a bit of pride in his voice. 

“An immune? How the fuck do we know that we just haven’t gotten it yet?” I press. 

“You’ve seen how fast that shit kills people,” the first scoffs. “Don’t you think you would have at least shown a little bit of a sign of it, by now?” 

He’s right. It’s been months since the first sign of the rash, killed more people than I’d like to discuss. And quickly, too. But my whole family… none of us have shown signs…how are we all so lucky?

“Maybe the earth decided that she’d keep a few of us, the ones who aren’t fucking assholes,” the second barks, earning what sounds like a slap to the chest from the first. 

“I don’t think that’s how it worked, idiot,” he says. “Anyways, we’ve already spent too much time in here with you, Jake. But listen. Remember we’re all pretending. They’re going to push you, they’re going to make us push you. But we want you to know we’re on your team, even if we act like we’re not. They’re out collecting immunes as we speak, trying to put everyone into some type of commune to protect the longevity of mankind. But you’re special, because they think you know. They’re special because they’re immune. You following me?”

“When they kidnap more immunes they’ll group me with them, but treat me differently because they think I can help them, got it,” I say, catching on fairly easily, for some reason. 

“Bingo,” the second clicks his tongue. 

“Do the people who hired you live in the other realm, too? Like, why do they care?” I ask, feeling like I just read the plot of a fantasy novel.

“Think of it like a family intertwined between both worlds. They’re able to bounce back and forth, but they all take up space in both places. One realm can’t live without the other. That’s why they’re trying to stop the end of their world there, so they have somewhere to be if our’s ceases to exist,” the first explains. 

“That’s fucking confusing,” I whisper. “If ours ceases to exist, one can’t exist without the other. Isn’t Earth already too far gone?” 

“Maybe her inhabitants are almost wiped, but as a planet, she’s still got a long way to go before rejoining the cosmos. If the other realm is saved, it could power Earth enough to stop her eradication. Plus we have immunes. Earth won’t completely die, she’s just trying to do a hard restart, if that makes sense,” the second one adds. “She’s sick, and she’s trying to make herself healthy again.”

I let out a huff as I try and wrap my head around the dystopian film I’m apparently a part of now. Half of me thinks these guys are lying to me. Playing games to distract me. But then again, why would they be wasting their time?

“Play dumb, Jake. Pretend you don’t know a goddamn thing. Especially when they start to question you about what you guys wrote in this last album,” the first says, standing to his feet and putting his gloves back on, from what I can tell. “This isn’t gonna last forever, we’re going to put a stop to this.”

“You are? How?” I ask, pulling hard on the ties around my wrists. 

“We are. With your help,” the second whispers. “There’s a whole group of us who plan on breaking free of this shit, we’ve just got to trust each other that we can run. Gather up the other immunes once they’re captured and create our own destinies.”

“But, if we don’t go along with them, won’t Earth completely shit out on us? If their realm dies too?” I ask. 

“Catching on quickly, Jake. I’m impressed,” the first whispers. “If we recreate our own line of mankind from the immunes, everything will be okay. We just want to do it out from underneath the thumb of these selfish motherfuckers. We can do it on our own.”

The two of them turn on their heels and start to walk toward the door again, leaving me sitting in the floor. “Hey, where is my family?” I ask. 

“They were assigned elsewhere. Separated all of you, we don’t know where they ended up. Sorry, man,” the second says. And within seconds they’re both gone, and I’m alone, yet again.

Y/N

I trudge back inside the house now under the cover of darkness, after having spent a few minutes outside trying to breathe and calm myself. Paps has lit a few candles inside, and I can see the warm glow of them through the windows making the house look like a jack-o-lantern. I smile a little at the thought. As I push the door open and lock it behind me, I turn and notice he’s stood by the kitchen table, a few more candles lit across it. There in front of him are two bowls of potato soup. 

“Paps, this is so nice of you,” I mumble as I hang my afghan on the back of a chair. “I thought you said you weren’t up for eating tonight?” 

“Your Gran would have been ticked if she knew we were too upset to feed ourselves, you know that’s a fact,” he says, pulling my chair out for me. I take a seat and I can smell the herbs he’s put into the soup.

“You’re right…” I agree. “She wouldn’t have been happy with us at all.”

“Plus, figure you could pretend one of these candles is on a birthday cake, and blow it out. Since we didn’t get to celebrate you the right way,” he adds as he takes his own seat. 

“I think I could do that,” I say, picking up my spoon to dig in. “Thank you Paps, you’re really too good to me.”

“We’re all we’ve got, sweetheart.”

As we eat, I watch as Paps’ hands seem weaker now, and how they shake a little as he brings his spoon to his mouth. He’s done an excellent job on the soup, but we both know we’re choking it down, both of our stomachs too wrought with nerves and heartbreak to enjoy it like we should. 

As we clean our bowls, he pushes one of the candles toward me, holding his hand out to motion for me to blow. The candle is old and burned through almost all the wax, but it still smells of pumpkin and apple pie. “Don’t forget to make a wish, sweetheart. And make it a good one,” he says, giving me a sweet wink from behind his glasses. 

I take a deep breath and wrack my brain, feeling like making a wish right now is selfish. Normally, I’d wish for a happy next year, health and fortune for my family, or even for the next man that walks into my life to be the right one. 

But all of that feels stupid now, pointless to request of the universe. 

Next year isn’t even promised. 

Over half of my family is gone. 

And no man is destined to walk into my life to better it in the least, let alone offer me kinship of any kind. 

So instead I wish for Paps to stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible, and that the universe bestows good things upon us both. Because like he said, we’re all we’ve got. 

+++

After I’ve cleaned the dishes and tidied the kitchen, I’m stopped in my tracks from the same sound I heard coming through the walls last night– the sound of quiet, staticy music. 

I find Paps with his record player again, cranking the handle on the side as the sound begins to spill from the horn. For a second, I’m happy that he’d kept this old thing, knowing that without it, we wouldn’t be able to hear music at all, probably ever again. 

I step up beside him and watch it spin, listening to “Lovin’ You More Every Day” by Etta James drift into the air. I know that Gran loved this one, too. It was one of the songs they danced to at their wedding. 

So I take his hand in mine, pulling him to stand with me on the old oriental rug in the middle of the room. I begin to sway around as he gently places his hand on my back, swaying right along with me. We’re dancing a little too slowly for the speed of the song, but neither of us care. We’re just enjoying our time, wishing that Gran was here to clap for us after the song ends. But as it comes to a close, we’re met again with static, waiting silently for the first note of the next song. 

“You’re a bit too big now to stand on my feet,” he says through a stiff smile. 

“Maybe so,” I giggle. “But it was your training that got rid of my two left feet…gave me a sense of some rhythm…” I grin. 

He smiles again as he sniffles through some more tears. “I’m sorry I won’t be there to dance with you at your own wedding, sweetheart,” he mumbles as he pulls me close, and my heart shatters into a million pieces. 

“Now Paps, don’t talk like that…” I argue. “Lord knows I’m not gonna find a man who can dance better than you, anyway.”

I hear a chuckle run through his chest. “May be, sweetheart. May be.”

We sway along to a few more songs before we’re both yawning. “Believe I’m gonna hit the hay,” he says solemnly, patting me on the head a few times before making his way to throw a few more logs onto the fire. 

“Me too, I’ll see you in the morning?” I ask, realizing that this will be the first night in over sixty years that he is going to sleep knowing he won’t wake up to the love of his life. 

“When the rooster crows, my sweet. Love you.”

“I love you, Paps,” I say as we part ways, drifting off to our respective rooms. 

I’m thankful the weather isn’t too horrendous tonight as I snuggle into my bed, pulling the covers onto my chest. I relax, but leave my candle lit, staring up at the ceiling and recounting the day. The look on Gran’s face as she finally met peace, no longer feeling the wrenching burn of the rash that had enveloped her body. Poor Paps. I can’t even imagine what he’s feeling, right now. 

I grab my journal back up and flip to the page I’d left off on, realizing I’d stopped in the middle of a thought. Instead of finishing it, I start a new one. 

I write about Gran’s passing, how and where we buried her, how I adorned her hands and wrists with all her old jewelry, and how Paps had made me a special birthday supper. I try to be as detailed as possible, leaving nothing out as I let my hand flow from print to cursive. My eyes begin to get heavy as the candle light flickers, and I realize just how exhausted I am. How mentally and physically drained I’ve become, simply from trying my best to stay alive. 

My eyes close a little, drifting down onto my forearm that’s covered in tattoos. My dad hated them, but Paps and Gran always told me they were an expression of my life at the time, like a roadmap of all of the things I loved, when I loved them. Keepsakes I’ll never part with. I always thought it strange, that coming from grandparents from an era of humans who normally found tattoos distasteful, but. 

But they were right. I have over twenty tattoos, but my forearm is dedicated to the band that I knew and loved so much, and who brought me some of the happiest times of my life.

The first one sits right in the crook of my elbow, a simple sun and crescent moon that I got right after I fell in love with From the Fires. Then words, right below that, reading ‘In an age of darkness, light appears’ in small font, wrapping all the way around my arm. Under that, a swirling symbol that resembles a radar, 13 lines that make an almost complete circle to commemorate the song that reminds me to step back into the natural world. Beneath that, a sword and an arrow, parallel with one another. And lastly, a symbol that truly represented their fifth album, lines shaped into what looks like a bird in flight. 

I never got to get a tattoo from this last album. And honestly, the darkness of the theme of it made choosing what I would have gotten a little difficult, anyway. 

I run my hand over the dark black ink and my mind begins to sleepily drift. I wonder what my friends are doing right now…are they alive? Are they sad, too? Are they still clinging to the good times we shared to keep their minds from falling into the deep depths of solitude?

My fingers stop over the Age of Machine tattoo, the little ridges of the skinny lines still rigid on my skin. I think about how much this tattoo reminded me to unplug and drown myself in nature every chance I got. How that song truly motivated me to do the exact opposite of letting myself be pulled into the false world of social media, and spend my time in my garden, or swept up in a book. Strange, now… thinking about how it made me feel when I listened. Haunted, dizzy, and uneasy. Scared, almost, but cautious. Ominous and anxious, but in the most peaceful way. Now I’m glad of the inspiration it gave me. Maybe that’s why I haven’t gotten the rash. It’s almost like that song was warning us of what was to come…

What are the men who wrote this music doing right now? Are they okay, too? My heart wrenches in a different way than it has, yet. Yearning to know of the state of people I had never met, yet worried about the wellbeing of for so many years of my life. “Silly,” I whisper to myself. But, it’s not silly. It’s just the heart they helped me find within myself to care about other people so deeply.

I close my pencil into my book again as I blow out my candle, thinking of all the nights I went to sleep excited to wake up before the sun and double check the luggage I’d packed, grabbing a quick coffee before I hit the road to travel to god knows where to see my friends and my favorite band again. Carefree, and careless. Living my life the way I wanted to, choosing the road ahead to achieve that happiness I’d always chased when it came to hearing their music live. Life unchained, the way Gran lived hers. 

+++

Just as my body is relaxing into a well-deserved sleep, I’m awoken by a loud rumble, a deafening sound so deep that I feel it in my bones. I shoot up in bed, realizing that the bed below me is shaking, vibrating. I pull the covers back quickly, rushing down the hall to find Paps already coming toward me with his candle in hand. 

“What’s going on?!” I yell above the loud rumbles. 

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” he yells back, and we both make our way to the large picture window in the living room. The moonlight illuminates the hillside of the farm, revealing a giant faultline that reaches from one side of the field all the way to the next. 

“Shit,” Paps mutters as I feel panic setting into my gut. “Faultline.”

“What’s that mean?! Paps, what is it?” I ask in succession, watching as the crack as wide as a river is eating up the ground.

“Probably another sink hole. Or one is going to happen nearby, I’d say,” he barks as he turns and rushes back to his room. “We’ve got to go. We’ve got to run,” he hollers. 

What?! Run?? We can’t run! 

“Paps, but the house! We’re alread–”

“Get your backpack. Get dressed, hurry! We’ve got to get away from it!” he commands, his voice booming. The house begins shaking again as I run to my room, throwing on my pants, jacket, and boots, and tossing my heavy emergency backpack over my shoulders. I make sure to secure my toboggan onto my head before stuffing my journal into the free pocket of my backpack, rushing back out into the living room to find Paps ready and waiting. 

I hear plates and dishes falling from the shelves of the kitchen, and books falling off the shelves of the living room. It’s just like an earthquake, except I had watched a crevice form in the ground, right before my eyes. My hands are shaking, and I am already broken out in a cold, panicked sweat.  We rush to the truck, throwing our things into the bed as we climb inside. 

“Hank! Where’s Hank?!” I yell, looking around for him. 

“Leave him, we’ve got to go,” Paps says as he turns the key in the ignition, hearing the engine purr to life for just a second, before shutting right back off. He tries again, pumping the fuel pedal to get the block to heat and the glow plugs to light. “Fuck, fuck!! Come on, baby! Don’t do this!” he yells, trying to coax the machine. But it’s to no avail. The battery has died.

We open the doors and clamber to grab our bags again, realizing that on foot is our only means of escaping the growing faultline. We take off rushing down the dirt road, still hearing the deep rumble of the ground separating behind us. I wish I could describe the sound, a noise unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. The cracking and snapping of deep roots, the crashing of trees, a low bellowing sound so deep that it sounds like it came from hell, itself. Unreal. And utterly fucking terrifying. 

My legs carry me, and luckily so do Paps’, straight down the long driveway and back onto the main road. I hear the wood of the house start to creak, and more wooden-sounding bangs. Fuck. Please, not the house… 

“Should we go to the woods?” I pant, knowing that Paps is just as out of breath as I am. 

“No, to the knoll,” he points, panting too as he motions toward the top of a high hill. When we finally make it there, we stop, taking a breather as now it feels as though we’re far enough from the field to get a better view of everything that lies beneath. And there, right in the center of the field is another sinkhole, giant and deep and dark with half the farm swallowed up in it. 

Luckily, the house is untouched.

“How on God’s green Earth…” Paps breathes as he lets his hands fall to his knees, trying to catch his breath as the two of us look down on the scene in front of us. Like it was straight from a horror film. 

“Had to of been Gran. She wouldn’t let the devil himself take her home, if it was the last thing she did,” I say, earning a breathy laugh from Paps. 

“You’re goddamn right, sweetheart. You’re goddamn right,” he says, finally catching his breath. “We need to run, we’re pretty close to this thing, still.” We take off again, rushing back down the road as we still hear the ground shaking below us. We hear trees falling in the distance, and we begin running again. I’m truly thankful for Paps’ stamina and heart right now, his legs getting him to safety even at his age. 

“Keep going, Paps, not much further,” I encourage him, just in case he needs it. “We’re okay, we’re okay…”

Suddenly, I see a set of headlights in the distance, barreling down the road towards us in a cloud of dust. When it finally approaches, I flag it down until it stops beside us. An old man is sitting in the driver’s seat, his face just as panicked as ours. “Hop in! Hop in!” he says, and we listen. Paps and I rush to the passenger side and slide into the cab, the man already hitting the gas before Paps can even shut the door all the way. 

“You’ve got to turn around!” I say, “There are sinkholes this way!”

He turns the wheel harshly, and I’m glad he listens to me. We rush back the opposite way, zooming down the road so fast I can hardly fathom what’s happening. Pure panic. 

“We’re alright, Paps, we made it out,” I try and calm him, reaching for my canteen of fresh water and offering it to him as he catches his breath. 

Suddenly we’re being thrust forward as the man steps on the brake, and I’m close to cursing him before I notice he’s stopped before another faultline in the road. “My god…” the man says, opening his truck door and climbing out. 

“No, no… what are you doing?!” I yell, wondering why in the hell this man is getting out of our escape vehicle and walking towards the crack in the ground. I watch as he steps closer to it, inching his steps as he peers down over the edge. “Is he insane?! Are you insane? Please, come back!!” I scream, but he doesn’t listen. The ground shakes again, throwing the man off balance as it makes him stumble, swallowing him right up into it. 

“Oh my god!!” I yell as Paps lets out a guttural scream. My hand covers my mouth as I yell in disbelief, watching as the man is there one second, and gone the next. 

“Drive, Y/N, drive!” Paps urges me, pushing my arms to scoot to the driver’s seat. I throw the truck in reverse, pulling the door closed as I rush to get us away from it all, pushing the pedal to the floor as my eyes scan for more faultlines. It feels as though we’re surrounded by them. My heart is pounding, now, as my body does the necessary work on auto pilot. 

“Keep going! Keep going!” Paps says as we get closer to town, and away from the vibrating ground. After a few minutes of shaking panic, it feels like the buzzing of the ground has subsided, and I can finally take a deep breath. A shaky one, but a breath nonetheless. 

As I finally allow my eyes to adjust and my hands to stretch, I’m finally feeling in control of my body again. Okay, okay, I’ve got this. Just keep driving. “Paps, you okay?”

“I’m okay sweetheart, you okay?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” I breathe, taking another deep breath in to calm my shaking body. “God, why the fuck did he do that?”

“Couldn’t tell ya, dumb and curious, I guess,” he says, taking another drink from the canteen before offering it to me. “Head toward the city, we’ll need to find a place to hunker down, tonight.”

And though my heart is still pounding as his words hit me, I take the right turn off the state route to head to the interstate, both of us in high hopes that the city will offer us more than it did when we left it. But honestly, I’m losing faith. 

I’d been driving for nearly twenty minutes on the empty road before I take a cutoff exit, determined to cut our drive time down and conserve fuel. The exit leads to a sideroad that is heavily wooded, but I know it will get us to the city more quickly. As the headlights shine down the two-lane road, I notice some kind of dark, shadowed figures standing down in the distance. I blink a few times, trying to see what is there. 

“Is that deer?” I ask Paps. 

“Can’t tell, it’s too dark,” he says, so I slow my pace. My headlights do little to light them up, but the closer we get, the more human they look. Tall, dark… just standing there?

And they aren’t moving. I bring the truck to a stop, my headlights almost no help at all as the figures begin to close in on us, instead of moving out of the road. 

“The hell is this, what’s happening?” Paps yells as the figures have us completely blocked from continuing down the road, now. My panic returns. I hear Paps cock his shotgun. “Drive, drive!!!”

My foot smashes the pedal to the floor, but the truck doesn’t move. The tires screech as I continue pushing it, willing the truck to keep going. But it won’t. It’s like I’m running it into a brick wall. “What’s happening!! Why won’t it go?!” I scream, my hands gripping the wheel as the truck begins to fishtail from the force of the tires on the ground. The lights from the truck are completely gone, now. We’re in total darkness. “Paps!”

“I’m here, I’m here, honey!” and I feel him grab my hand. Suddenly the truck doors slam open, and my body is being grabbed and pulled from the seat. I thrash and kick at whatever has grabbed me, but nothing works. It’s too strong. I feel a painful hit to my head, and my ears scream as I start to lose consciousness. I feel a dark cover be put over my head and secured, completely blocking my vision altogether. “Paps!!!!” I try and yell, but I’m slipping quickly into unconsciousness as my voice is barely a squeal. My hands are being tied in front of me, and all I feel is cold. 

+++

I wake up in a cold sweat, my hands still bound as I sit with my back against a metal wall. My breathing is ragged as I try and take in my surroundings, and I realize I still have the covering over my head. I wince in pain from the impact of whatever hit my head earlier. I hear others beside me, many crying, panicked voices whimpering in the same room. I try and make a sound, but my voice is hoarse from screaming. I try and speak, but there is tape over my mouth. What is happening, where is Paps?!

My heart is pounding in my chest as I try to raise my bound hands and remove the covering, but it’s secured tightly. I’m in pitch black darkness, and I can’t see a fucking thing. I try to stand, but my muscles are weak and sore, and I can hardly will them to move, let alone stand. It’s unclear how long I was knocked out, and how long I have been sitting in this cold, metal room, but it feels like only a few minutes have passed. I feel tears begin running down my face, I feel so helpless, so exhausted. So blind.  

Suddenly I hear a loud noise, like a heavy metal door being thrust open. I see a light through the covering over my face, and I try and yell again. But nothing comes out. Just like in those nightmares where you are unable to make a sound. I hear footsteps come into the room, heavy boots pounding against the concrete floor. My covering is forcefully removed, and it takes a second for my eyes to adjust to the bright light. 

Finally, I’m able to see eight or ten others with me, all of us sitting with our hands bound, lined up against the walls of this room. Some beside me, some directly across from me. I watch as two tall, masked men work their way around the room, removing each and every face covering. A woman, a man, a teenaged boy, an elderly lady… and then, Paps. I make excited eye contact with him as I feel a squeal leave my taped lips. He’s safe. He’s here. 

I watch as the rest of the covers are removed one by one, the person seated directly across from me being saved for last. They leave him sitting for a few seconds as they exchange what looks to be laughs with one another before one of them gently kicks his legs a little before undoing his head covering. 

The man’s face is beaten and bruised, his brown hair tangled and long and falling in front of his face as he winces in pain. They throw his face covering back down to the floor beside him, laughing again as they turn and leave the room without a word, locking the door behind them. 

I peer to the hair-covered face again to get a better look, and I swear if my mouth wasn’t taped shut, I would have screamed out in disbelief. 

That’s Jake fucking Kiszka.

He feels my eyes on him as he finally looks up to me, noticing my awkward stare. Neither of us can speak. I feel myself smiling under the tape, what are the fucking odds? What is happening?! Where the fuck are we?

His eyes grow wide as he realizes I know him, and he stares back at me in utter confusion. Do I tell him I recognize him? Shit, he can probably tell I do, by now. For some odd reason unbeknownst to me, I maneuver my tied hands to slowly pull up the sleeve of my shirt, showing him the splattering of tattoos that line my forearm. I know you. I watch his eyes see them as I straighten my arm out, willing him to see them, recognize them.

I watch his chest rise and fall as he begins shaking his head slowly side to side, his breathing picking up significantly as he looks at me with red, swollen eyes. 

No? Is he telling me no?

Just as I hear the sound of the heavy footsteps coming back down the hall, I watch as Jake slowly lifts his bound hands to his face, his pointer finger sticking up in front of his taped mouth. 

My stomach falls as I realize he’s serious. Not only is he telling me no, he’s telling me to stay quiet.

Tags: @gretavangroupie @britney-gvf @sacredstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @farfromthehomelands @takenbythemadness @writingcold @builtbybrokenbells @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @fleet-of-fiction @milkgemini @gvfpal @ageofcj@dancingcarbon @highway-tuna @stardustjake @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfmarge @gracev0609 @myleftsock @literal-dead-leaf @peaceloveunitygvf @ageofbajabule @slut4lando @jordie-gvf @sadiechar @tinydancer40 @rosabellagvf @capnjaket @lyndz2names @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gretavanomens @spark-my-nature @josh-iamyour-mama @anythingforjtk @alwaysonthemend @danieljlmwagner @klarxtr @fortunatelytinybasement @demonrat444 @gretavansara @watchingover-hypegirl @hippievanfleet @digitalnomadz @raviolilegs @lipstickitty @hippievanfleet @klarxtr @strange-whorizons @do-it-jakey-baby @myownparadise96 @gvf-luna @starshine-wagner @cassiesgreta @joopsandjangs @whimsiliz @kiszkas-canvas @whimsiliz @joopsandjangs @broken0mens @scoreofinfantryvines @whereiskeara @do-it-jakey-baby @miravanfleet @heckingfrick@kiszka-canvas @whimsiliz @joopsandjangs @broken0mens @scoreofinfantryvines @whereiskeara @do-it-jakey-baby @miravanfleet @heckingfrick @jenniferkiszka @jjwasneverhere @gvfmarge @pineapple-photographer @vanfleeter

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - 22 Months

Slime time again, and the goo keeps gooing.

General update on slime-ification - I’ve only got bones in my head left! All my musculature and squishy bits have dissolved now, so I’ve just got a skull floating in my goo. I noticed that all this dissolving happened way quicker than it had previously, which I’m guessing is due to my acid helping to break things down

I have to say, having your spine dissolve is very painful, turns out all those nerves do not enjoy being eaten away by acid/medicine. Additionally, having all those nerves change caused me to have various movement and coordination issues - I spend quite a bit of time over these past four months as a puddle of goo, just about able to shuffle towards food, which honestly sucked, not having proper control over my body is the exact opposite of what I want. Obviously there were moments when it was fine, and I was able to do things normally, but even then the pain typically persisted in the background.

One benefit has been that, since my spine fully dissolved, I’ve felt more in control of my body than ever, and while that might just be in contrast to having less-to-no control recently, I think I have actually improved. Some of my fine motor skills that I lost in the early stages have returned, and I can perform finer manipulations of and with my slime, and I just feel more connected to my body now, which is very neat.

I’ve been working under the assumption that my brain is still inside my skull, as I’ve heard you know when that goes, plus if I move my skull around I can get a little dizzy, so I’m pretty sure it’s still in there. On that note, yeah, I can move my skull around my body, since it’s the only part that isn’t goo, so there’s nothing really holding it in place. In theory I could take it out of my body, but I don’t wanna try that as I’m honestly afraid that could kill me (I think a lot of the lack of control while my spine was dissolving was due to the lack of connection to my brain to hold myself together while the nervous connections reconfigured to be slime), so for now I’ve got the neat party trick of being able to move my skull around my body.

Of course with all my fleshy bits melting away, I’ve had some interesting experiences with my senses and similar things. The first thing I’ll run through is eyesight - I didn’t have great eyesight before, but I found my eyesight slowly deteriorating which, especially combined with the struggle to remain coalesced from my spine degrading, was pretty terrifying. The only thing that kept me somewhat calm was being fairly certain that, as with my lungs, my body would learn to replicate the function of the organ. Fun fact - slimes don’t naturally have eyes, so when I lost my eyesight, it didn’t naturally come back. I sat for a decent while waiting in blackness, waiting for it to come back, much like I’d started absorbing air through my slime with my lungs, but it simply didn’t. The only reason I can see now is ‘cause I kinda just made it happen. I figured that even if it didn’t automatically happen, my body still had absorbed the organ, so it should be able to replicate its function, so I shaped myself some eyes, playing around with them until eventually I was able to see again. It seems short written out, but I was at this at least a good few hours, trying to work out how to replicate an eye - fortunately, it does seem like there’s at least an instinctive part of my new body that can help fill in gaps, so I didn’t have to consciously replicate every fine detail of an eye. 

I do have to say, it took me a while to fine tune everything, started off with it being all very blurry and desaturated, but I eventually found where I was before, and actually, once I took my glasses off, I was able to correct my eyesight altogether. I do wonder if I can go even further, but with the experience so fresh in my mind, I’d rather my body get used to having eyes again as a default before I mess around more. Despite 20/20 vision being very nice, it is a little sad for me to no longer need my glasses, I’d gotten used to them, and it’s kinda a shame to see them go. 

I do have to add, weird thing about slime eyes, since it’s all really just my slime seeing, I don’t need any depth to my eyes, frankly I don’t even need ‘eyes’ in the traditional sense - any part of my slime can see, I just have to choose to see from there and I can, so my eyes are just kinda indents in my face so that people have a reference point as to where I’m looking from. At some point I’ll mess around with additional eyes, but as before, I wanna make sure I don’t accidentally blind myself again.

Taste and smell are a pair that I’ll group together, since they’re linked in both humans and slimes anyways. Naturally, much like with my sight, I slowly lost both of them as the responsible parts were consumed by my slime, rendering me unable to taste or smell for a while. Honestly, compared to sight, this wasn’t such a bad loss - made meals very uninteresting for a while, but aside from that it was easy enough to work with. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever really got them back properly, despite trying, I was never able to force them back into being like I did with my sense of sight. One day I did begin to taste again I noticed, although I also noticed it had definitely changed. For one, I can kind of switch it on or off, and for another I can now taste anything I eat, regardless of if I put it in my mouth, or just absorb it. It’s neat, and also definitely adds to the lack of distinction between differently shaped parts of my body - my mouth doesn’t do anything special with regards to eating, it’s just habit to eat through there, I can eat, and taste, just as well through any part of my body.

Smell however hasn’t come back, well at least, not really in a human sense - I can ‘smell’ things, but it’s more like tasting the air, rather than actually smelling. I’m guessing it’s because I don’t have to breathe any more, so I’m not inhaling the particles, instead, I simply absorb them passively as I move around. Of course, since this is now tied to my taste, turning that off stops me from smelling, so I’ve been trying to find a middle ground where I don’t taste things all the time/don’t taste things I don’t wanna, but can still smell - haven’t quite found the sweet spot yet.

On the topic of the mouth becoming redundant as a defined part of my body, I also lost my voice once my vocal chords were subsumed. These, fortunately, were the easiest to restore, or at least achieve the same function, simply by vibrating my slime to produce sound. It took me a little while to work out how to do this, but given the amount of time I’ve spent learning how to shape my slime, it wasn’t too hard. I have to concede that at first it was very wet and gurgly sounding, but I spent time working to refine it, and now it sounds much better. The slightly funky part is that it does sound different to my old voice… which I’m not sure how to feel about - I wasn’t overly fond of my voice before but it was familiar, and suddenly having a new voice is weird - I’m still adjusting it to find a voice that’s overall closer to what I had before, but I am having fun playing around with it a little. Oh, and of course, as with tasting, since I can do this from anywhere on my body, again, the ‘speciality’ of my mouth is kind of redundant, it’s just simply a shape on my body which is familiar and a hangover from my time as a human.

Surprisingly, my hearing hasn’t been affected yet, not even sounding like I’m underwater - I’m guessing that since bones go last, my ear bones and all that haven’t gone yet… and that maybe my slime is acting in place of my eardrum, assuming that that has also been absorbed. I’m guessing that that’s gonna go at some point over the next few months.

As for the rest of what’s been going on, I’ve continued to try to practise controlling my acidity, and I’ve gotten a little better, I’m able to make portions of my body neutral pretty easily now, buuut if I stop focusing it immediately returns to acid, not to mention it’s only parts at a time. I did get a suggestion about using air pockets to produce safe areas within myself to store objects - kinda a fly in amber situation (y’know, since I’m literally sap) - which has been useful, although since I don’t breath anymore, providing the air has been a little difficult, but I worked out how to move air around with my slime so I can blow on things now, as well as make the pockets. Still gonna focus on my acidity control, but until I’ve got that down, I’ve got a good work around!

On the shaping front, I've added a few new features to my form. First, I gave myself horns, and made my ears kinda aquatic looking, kinda like fins, but ears, like merpeople are sometimes depicted with. Neither of these particularly do anything, but I like how they look. On the more ‘functional’ side I shaped myself a pair of cat ears, and some big ol’ dragon wings on my back, of course all made from slime. I put the ‘functional’ in quotation marks since neither really work for their intended function, so they’re also only decorative at this time, but I’m hoping I can get them to work eventually. The cat ears don’t work since I’m pretty sure I’m still reliant on my human hearing system which doesn’t connected to cat ears on the top of my head (unlike my fin-ears which just replaced/were reshaped from my old ears) and I haven’t worked out how to fly with the wings yet - and I’m honestly not sure if my slime will let me, gonna have to experiment more with them.

On top of all of these, and combined with having had a lot of issues holding my humanoid form over the past few months, I’ve actually been experimenting with a sort of slime ball form. It’s very nice, small, and definitely adds to my feeling of ‘slimeness’, plus it’s a form that fits my skull pragmatically and aesthetically (main reason i haven’t shrunk my humanoid form is ‘cause i’d have to keep my head approximated the same size to house my skull, which’d lead to weird proportions). Only issue is, while the hopping isn’t exhausting (no need to breathe and no muscles means exertion isn’t as bothersome) it does kinda rattle my skull, and therefore brain, around which makes me a little dizzy. 

Kinda can’t believe I’m saying this, but I can’t wait for my brain to go and leave me fully slime, it’s gonna be so awesome!

See y’all next time! Goobye! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First - Prev - Next

Tag List below cut

@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog, @mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat, @copperweave

[justsomerandomfanfic]

hello!! i recently saw one of your MHA matchups and it was written so well!! i was wondering if I could ask for an MHA matchup as well?? i was hoping for a romantic matchup with a male character :) teachers/villains preferably if that’s okay!

i’m 20, and i go by they/them pronouns! as for my physical appearance, i have very long, black hair and i’m really pale (i struggle with going out bc of some mental health issues, so i tend to coop myself up all day and work from home). i have a bunch of piercings as well as tattoos, and i tend to lean towards a more messy “mall goth-ish” aesthetic in the way that i dress and do my makeup!

as for hobbies/things i enjoy, i really love cooking. i spend a lot of time finding new recipes and trying them out. i really like music and tend to lean towards bands like Slowdive and Nine Inch Nails! i love video games, (specifically old 2000’s horror games lol), horror movies, and the macabre. i love to collect odd trinkets and bones as well as vintage video game consoles! i also draw quite often and love making little crafts for others out of my drawings like stickers and stuff :)

thank you so much for taking the time to read my request even if you may end up unable to get to it!! <3 have a wonderful day!

Hello, I'm sorry for the bit of the wait! And thank you for the compliment! <3333

I really hope you like your matchup!

I made sure it was only a teacher or villain.

Though I was struggling between two characters, I found your match after further pondering! <3

Enjoy!

Romantic Matchup: My Hero Academia

~~~

Romantic;

~~~

My Hero Academia;

Shota Aizawa -

You were the newly hired art teacher at U.A.

You were taking on the role of helping students explore their creativity amidst their rigorous hero training.

You considered your class a breather for them, possibly even art therapy.

It wasn't exactly easy for you to step into such a lively environment, given your preference for solitude, but the idea of sharing your passion for art motivated you.

You first met Shota during a staff meeting.

His disheveled appearance, tired eyes, and overall 'I don't want to be here' demeanor immediately intrigued you.

He, on the other hand, noticed your unique look - long black hair, your goth-inspired attire, and the confident way you carried yourself despite the situation - and found himself oddly drawn to your quiet intensity.

Your first real conversation happened in the teachers' lounge.

Shota caught you sketching during your break, his tired eyes lingering on the intricate details of your work.

After a moment of silence, he muttered, "About time they hired someone who knows what they're doing. Guess the kids might actually learn something for once."

His tone was dry, and he didn't say much more, even when you gave him a smile.

Shota wasn't the type to forge fast friendships, but you found yourself becoming his regular lunch companion.

You bonded over your shared love for quiet spaces and introspection.

Often, you find comfort in just sitting in silence together.

He was one of the few people who truly appreciated your crafts - aside from Hizashi. When you gifted him a sticker of his cat.

He totally would show you pictures of his cat.

(He has a cat now).

Not talking about Sushi here.

Anyway!

When you gifted him a sticker of his cat, he couldn't stop himself from smiling faintly and sticking it on his reusable water bottle.

You introduced Shota to your love of cooking, often bringing him homemade bentos during long staff meetings or little treats for your shared lunch.

He wasn't much of a cook himself, but he started picking up little tricks from you, eventually learning how to make your favorite type of coffee because, "You deserve better than the sludge in the teachers' lounge."

Movie nights became a tradition between the two of you.

Shota was surprisingly open to your collection of your old horror movies, though he'd often fall asleep halfway through - his head resting on your shoulder as you tried not to die of cuteness overload at how cute peaceful he looked amidst the chaos on screen.

The shift from friendship to something a bit more was subtle.

Shota found himself looking forward to seeing you every day, noticing the little things about you like how your eyes lit up when you talked about your latest art project or when you got another vintage video game console to add to your collection, or how you would hum softly to a 'Nine Inch Nails' song while preparing food or snacks.

For you, it was the way he always seemed to look out for you, from ensuring you didn't overwork yourself to subtly stepping in when you struggled in social situations

His quiet protectiveness made you feel seen and cared for.

Neither of you was particularly expressive about your feelings - Shota most definitely - but the tension between the two of you grew palpable.

Little touches; like his hand brushing against yours while passing a coffee mug or the way his gaze lingered for a bit too long. The way you would play with his hair when watching movies or the way you would take extra care when preparing his food, trying to make it perfect... It all hinted at what neither of you dared to say.

For now...

The confession came after a particularly stressful day for you.

You were venting to Shota about how overwhelmed everything felt, and he quietly listened, offering his calm presence.

He didn't know when his mind began to wander, but it did.

"How did you get your makeup that perfect like that?" He would himself ask himself. "I really want to hold your hand."

Before he knew it, he was blurting out, "I care about you."

You stopped ranting, pausing, turning to look at him.

He looked nervous, surprised that the words just flew out of him, but he continued, "More than I should for a colleague."

You were stunned at first.

"I care about you too, Shota," You admitted, your cheeks flushed.

That moment marked the beginning of something beautiful.

Shota frequently surprises you with little acts of service, like cleaning up your workspace when you're too overwhelmed or leaving small, thoughtful notes in your lunchbox.

You both share quiet mornings together, sipping coffee while you sketch and he reads or grades homework,

It's a domestic bliss that neither of you ever thought you'd enjoy so much.

He takes you on low-key dates to places he knows you'll love, like antique shops where you can hunt for trinkets or quiet museums where you both can admire paintings

You often cook together, with Shota trying his best to follow your instructions.

While he’s no master chef, he enjoys the intimacy of the activity, especially when you sneak a kiss on his cheek for encouragement.

You both adopt a stray cat together, naming it "Void" to match its dark fur.

Void and Shota's cat are the best furrrrends furever...

Sorry.

They are both your fur babies.

Your home becomes a cozy blend of your two styles.

You love braiding Shota's hair, it helps both of you calm down and relax.

He's incredibly protective, always making sure you feel safe and supported.

If anyone ever dismisses your interests, personality, or opinions, Shota has no problem setting them straight.

And the same goes for you protecting him.

Shota would go out of his way to learn about your favorite things, even trying his hand at drawing to make you things, that would make you smile.

On tough mental health days, he's patient and understanding, knowing when to give you space and when to pull you into his arms for a hug.

You'd draw him in your sketchbooks, multiple pages just of him; his hair, his hands, his eyes, his mouth, just him.

Shota, half-asleep, mumbling, “You’re too good for me,” As he pulls you closer during one of your late-night movie marathons.

You'd smile softly, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “Says the guy who’s literally perfect,” You whisper, pressing a light kiss to his temple. “Now go back to sleep, you sap.”

You trying to paint his nails black for fun, only for him to sit still for ten seconds before smudging them accidentally.

He'd offer his scarf when you forget yours, wrapping it snugly around your neck and muttering about how you need to take better care of yourself.

Lazy afternoons spent on the couch with Void and his other cat sprawled between you, your fingers gently running through Shota’s hair as he quietly drifts off to sleep.

Lots of lunch naps together in his sleeping bag.

<3

[emsgwenstan]

Personal or professional?

Chap 1 | chap 2 | chap 3

Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader.

Words: 2k

Warnings: bodily issues, swearing.

Note: imma b honest I’m filling In for the parts I want to write. I’m not there yet. Just know there will be a few things coming within the next few chapters! Xx

———

Just as I was thinking about how ridiculously bold it was for me to put my number on that cup, I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket once I returned home.

‘Meet me at the weathervane in your lunch break tomorrow?~Larissa’

My eyes went wide as I re-read the message over and over until I realise that she can see if I’ve viewed it, I quickly replied.

‘Sure, 12:30? Are you sure you have time?’

Immediately it was seen and I waited in anticipation once the three little dots popped up.

‘That’s fine, even if I don’t I will always make time darling.”

I didn’t know exactly what to reply, so I just turned off my phone and threw it on my bed, I could feel my face flushing at the thought of her. I stripped off and got ready for a shower, the chill of the room raising goosebumps along my skin, the tile floor of the bathroom freezing the soles of my feet, stepping in, I let out a hum at the hot water encapsulating my body finally letting myself relax against the wall, ridding myself of the day, not that it was so bad.

Once out, dried off and dressed, I jump into bed not bothering with dinner, being far to exhausted to cook or order anything, I snuggle into my thick duvet and flick on the tv to half watch and listen to another true crime story. It isn’t always ideal to watch this stuff when I live alone, especially as a woman, but there’s something oddly calming about it, even if I get slightly paranoid. After a while I fell asleep at around 8:00pm, but woke at around 12 to turn the tv off.

———

The next morning I woke up earlier than usual to perfect my simple make up, applying a layer of foundation and mascara, the smallest bit of matte pink lipstick and to be sure to have every hair on my head in place held in a slicked back ponytail. ‘I just hope this will last for at least 8 hours, the next 4 don’t matter.’ I thought.

Throwing on my black jeans and fluoro pink work shirt, as well as a baggy pink and black work wear jacket, I glance at myself in the floor length mirror, every time I do I see nothing I like, nothing pretty, nothing special, I feel like I must be such a curiosity to other people, my job, my height, my weight, my strange mix of masculinity and femininity, I know I’m not skinny or thin but I’m not that big either, anymore at least. The stretch marks on my stomach, thighs and breasts are the things I try so hard to cover up. I can’t help but wonder why anyone would want to be with or associate around someone like me, even if I personally don’t discriminate against what people look like. That also brings me to ponder why Larissa asked to have lunch with me today.

I think my collar bone length, warm blond hair is probably the only thing I change often or really take care of, I try to do my nails and keep them clean and presentable, always painted in a nude pink, which is ironic considering i don’t actually like the colour. I change the studs in all of my piercings, rotating the gold from small hoops to diamonds. My hands are scared and calloused from 22 years of working with rough materials as well as my legs and forearms, I guess I’ve no need to be jealous or overthink about others body’s or physique’s I’m a grown woman after all, but the insecurity is always at the forefront of my mind.

After traipsing out of the house, I finally made it into work at 5am, turning on all the lights and compressors and the radio I listen to until 9, it goes off once my boss turns up. “No music in the factory Violet.” He’d say, which is bullshit, it’s so fucking boring without it. Walking into the shop’s kitchenette, I flick on the kettle to make my morning tea in a travel cup and tap my fingers on the bench in waiting. It’s already freezing today, the cold seeping through my layers of clothing and apparently the concrete walls, yesterday was warm enough to wear shorts and go without a jumper.

Consulting with my boss about the order needing to be placed for the cupboards going to nevermore was nauseating, It took a lot longer than usual because of all the questions he asked about yesterday afternoon. “So how was going to the school for strange kids yesterday?” He asked sarcastically, not looking up from his computer. “Their not strange, their just different to you. And it was fine, obviously got all the information we need.” I said annoyed. “Right.” After a long pause he spoke again. “Miss Weems seemed to enjoy your presence, she didn’t shut up about the stuff you showed her.” I was perplexed and rolled my eyes. “Well at least someone appreciates it.” I said under my breath looking down at my thighs picking bits of lint and sawdust off the material. He was quiet after that.

12:15 rolled around, I grabbed the keys to my personal car and popped back into his office to tell him I’m going on break, it was so nice on the short walk in the sun. I jumped in my black Mercedes sports car and made my way down the street, turning a few corners I parked outside the wethervane and locked the car before entering the cafe. Larissa wasn’t there yet, so I took a seat in a booth next to the large window with my back turned to the door.

Staring out the glass and watching the towns people walk about, some in tandem with each other holding hands, some parents with young children or strollers, a few elderly people walking in groups giving the impression of being friends for years going for a walk with their wife’s arms wrapped around there husbands. One in particular caught my attention, a young man who looks to be in his early 20s exiting the florist bearing a bunch of white roses, his demeanour riddled with nerves, he sat at a park bench close to the other side of the road, pulling out a little black box, he observed it for a moment before snapping it shut, than stood smoothing down his hair and blazer before walking away. A small smile crept on my face hoping all goes well for his next obvious destination, but it quickly faded in a realisation, which I wish to forget.

A hand on my shoulder ripped me out of my mind, turning my head around I see her. Larissa. A huge grin took over my face clearly out doing her small smile. “Afternoon violet.” She greeted. “Hi.” I responded sounding so high pitched I internally cringe at myself. Larissa placed her purse on the surprisingly unsticky table and takes a seat in front of me. “How are you darling.” She asked removing a black leather glove. “I’m alright, not particularly busy today which is pretty good but that just means the day will drag a lot longer, better now I’m here with you though.” I said, staring at her beautifully red painted nails. “Oh that’s horrible, you must get lonely in there by yourself no?” She stated. “It’s nice, but sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to. Don’t you get lonely? Being in your office?” I asked wondering why she’d worry about me when I’m sure she’s in the same position. “Not at all, I have teachers, students, parents, groundskeepers and just about every other kind of person in and out all day, sometimes it gets so frustrating I put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on my door just for at least five minutes of peace.” She exhaled slightly rolling her eyes at the thought, I nodded in understanding, chuckling softly at her annoyance.

Idle conversations flowed between the two of us before we were politely interrupted by a waiter handing over two menus. “What are you having.” I asked her. “A chicken Cesar salad. You?- Oh and I’m paying by the way… you bought me things yesterday.” She stated. “There’s no need really.” I answered. “I insist what would you like.” She pushed. “Probably just a grilled cheese.” I said. “No. Don’t think I don’t know that’s the cheapest thing here, get what you want sweetheart.” My pulse skipped then ran faster at her new term of endearment, I felt like I was melting from the inside out. “Fine I’ll just have the same as you please.” I settled, displaying a shy smile. I didn’t care about the food really, I don’t plan on letting her see me as a naive and difficult thing who can’t pay for myself or play her as a fool, I guess that’s just what happens when you’re completely independent for a long period of time. “Are you sure? you can have anything.” She asked again. “Positive, thank you.” Larissa waved over the previous waiter and ordered for the both of us, we ate once our meals arrived and sat in comfortable silence.

Larissa did in fact pay, she left no room for argument and we both walked out together into the fresh, crisp air and warm sun. “Do you need to go back just yet?” She asked. “No I think having a break over half an hour would be fine considering how much overtime I do that I don’t get payed for.” I chuckled trying to come off lighthearted, but it sounded more bitter than I intended. “What do you mean? What are your allocated hours?” Larissa stoped the slow pace causing me to walk a little in front and turn around to face her concerns. “Allocated… 7:30 to 5, but I usually get to work around 5 and finish at 7.” I said furrowing my brows. “Why?” I ask. Larissa was silent for a moment. “So your telling me you work 12 to 13 hours every day? When your only supposed to be doing 9 and a half?” She asked incredulously. “Yes.” I said almost immediately realising that wouldn’t seem right or normal to anyone else who doesn’t know what it’s like to do my job. I laughed at her, not in a rude way but at her worry. “How do you do that!? You work almost 70 hours a week!” Her eyes growing widder with the facts she’s coming to know. “I’m fine. I manage.” I simply said turning to walk a bit more for her to follow, at this point there is no destination.

“You look gorgeous today, channel right?” I asked, pulling my hand out of my pocket to point at her outfit, a ploy for a change of subject. “Yes, thank you. How did you know that?” She asked. “Just like I know your heels are louboutins, your watch is Valentino, your bracelet it Cartier and your broach is probably the hardest to guess I’m not quite sure about that one, but I know your necklace is personally made. Oh and your pearl earrings are vintage Tiffany & co.” I stated proudly hoping I wasn’t wrong. “You continue to surprise me Violet. First your this strong independent woman who can build an entire house and the interior with you bare hands and now your a fashion expert, what else don’t I know?” She said with an amuse smile. “There is a lot you don’t know about me Larissa, but what ls the fun in letting you in on all my secrets just yet? Who knows, I could be very boring.” I giggled. She shook her head gently and placed her gloved hand on my arm. “You are the most interesting person I’ve been around for quite some time darling, I don’t believe you could ever be a bore.” At that i blushed furiously letting out a foggy exhale.

Larissa was the epitome of ethereal, the way her eyes look so piercing in the sunlight almost as if they were so blue they could be mistaken for white, her porcelain skin illuminated as well as her platinum hair. Right now her nose and cheeks are flushed red and her lips displaying the same shade she had painted on herself, I hoped anyway, their a little swollen due to the cold. “Hey, can I ask you a random question?” I asked timidly hoping it’s not to weird. “Of course you can.” She said. “Do you…ahhh, do you have…someone, like-.” I struggled to spit it out. “A girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, partner?… no sweetheart.” She continued on, laughing at my shy state. “Right… that what I was trying to say, and how is that, wouldn’t you have plenty of people lined up for you? surely.” I exaggerated. “So your a flatterer to I see.” She gasped feigning herself from being to serious.

About two seconds later Larissa looked away and her attention was taken by the front of the Jericho book shop and Library, she moved so quickly to snatch my wrist and drag me in the direction of the entrance. “Woah, you could have just asked me to come with you.” I just about snorted. “I’m sorry come on I haven’t been in her for ages, please!” The sparkle in her eyes showing unwavering hope. “Of course I’ll come I love books to ya know.” I grinned. “Well that’s another thing I just learned about you.” She said holding the door open for me.

It was so warm and cozy inside, the smell of a vanilla candle that was placed next to the register and the scent of paper was almost nostalgic, I hadn’t been in here for a while either. Larissa ended up in-front of me and I don’t think she realised she held out her hand behind her for me to take. After mild contemplation I took it, Larissa immediately tightened her grip, pulling me along with her to a section she clearly has been down before. She let go of my hand a crouched to the wooden floor removing her gloves again so she could feel the spines of the books.

Larissa was in her element, completely enraptured in her own world. I let her be and scanned the shelves above her, taking an interest to one that was a royal blue colour with gold embossed lettering, I placed my palm on her shoulder to stabilise myself and stood on my tip toes to reach it, admiring for a moment before I could read the blurb, Larissa gasped in excitement. “Yes, I found it!” She exclaimed. “What is it?” I asked. “I hid this book almost a year ago because I didn’t want to buy it at the time.” She said looking up at me. ‘she’s so bloody adorable.’

I helped her off the floor and we moved back to the register. “So what do you have?” She asked. “Um I think it’s a book of poetry, I flicked through it and read one, I like it.” I said. “You should read me one.” She smiled. Before I could respond a little lady with grey hair and a long green cardigan came walking behind the counter from what I assumed was the ‘back’. “Oh Larissa! How are you dear!?” She said surprised. “Francis! I’m well how are you?” She responded, it would be silly to think they weren’t aquatinted. “I’m doing ok, finally got that hip replacement back in may, working like I’m a teenager again.” She said. I quietly chuckled. “That’s wonderful.” Larissa replied placing her book on the counter. “And who’s this lovely lady with you?” She asked. “Oh forgive me, violet this is Francis, fran, this is violet, she’s making the new classroom cupboards for nevermore.” Larissa was almost proud to be able to introduce you to someone. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I said holding out my hand for her to shake, instead she took ahold of my palm with one hand and placed her other on top. “Like wise dear. Your a hard worker I see.” She stated observing my hand. “Thank you?” I said unsure of how to respond.

Larissa stood to the side waiting for me to pay for my own book. “Oh this one’s good, perhaps you can read some to your girlfriend over there.” Francis said talking about the book and Larissa. My eyes were just about bulging out of my head at her words, I was rendered speechless. “Hush now Fran! I see your still cheeky as ever.” Larissa hissed. The elderly lady chortled at her with a shit eating grin. “Don’t you forget it. When you get old you tend not to hold your tongue.” She initially spoke to larissa than back to me. All I could do was stand there awkwardly, but praise her for not giving a fuck, I like her.

We exited the shop bidding the woman farewell and set off to back to our cars. “Sorry about that, I’ve known Francis since I was 14, she can be very brazen sometimes.” She said. “Don’t worry about it shes cute and hilarious… so you went to nevermore when you were at school?” I asked. “Yes, every weekend I’d go to the library part of the shop and sit for hours, than we’d exchange opinions on the books I’d read over a cup of tea.” She expressed clutching the book tighter to her chest. “That’s so sweet, I wish my childhood was that simple, I would have loved to have the freedom to Sit and read until I was to exhausted.” I said. “Well it wasn’t all that easy but I didn’t have to many friends to mingle with I suppose.” I felt a tinge of sadness at her confession, understanding what she means. “Nor did I, but I guess that’s why it’s so important to you now as headmistress right? To ensure all the kids are happy and safe?” I wondered. “Exactly.” She said pulling out her car keys while I simultaneously did the same. We both hit the unlock button to find we were parked right next to each other.

To our surprise we both had the same car, except hers was red. “Nice car.” I said. “Like wise.” She laughed. “Well I suppose this is goodbye.” Larissa said looking at me slightly saddened at the fact. “I suppose it is.” I retorted. Larissa stood peering into my eyes, her expression turned confused. “What?” I asked. “Your eyes…they’ve changed colour, I thought that yesterday, but now I’m sure.” She said hoping she didn’t sound to insane. “Yeah they do that, I don’t really know why, they go from blue, green, grey to blue grey to green blue, it’s weird but I find that when I’m tired my eyes are really blue and when I’m happy or focused they’re really green, almost like a mood ring.” I laughed. Larissa own eyes flickered between my own causing me to become short of breath. “It’s very interesting, very unique.” She said. “What are they now?” I whispered, Larissa seemed to be closer than I thought. “Green on the outside with a little bit of blue in the centre.” She matched my tone of voice. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and tilted my head down before exhaling and returning the gaze.

“So when will I see you again? Apart from the obvious work reasons.” I asked. “Would Friday night be ok, I could take you out for dinner?… if your not interested then that’s ok we could-.” Yes yes yes yes yes. “No! I’d love to just text me with plans yeah?” I wished I didn’t seem to overzealous. “Really? Alright than I will see you Friday.” She said. “Of course I’ll see you than.” And only than I did something I wish I could take back, something so stupid, so unprofessional. I leaned in a little closer and kissed her cheek, not like it was hard or strained, not even a millisecond went by for me to not look at her after, I all but ran to my car and shoved the keys into the ignition and turned it on ripping the gear stick into reverse to get the hell out of there. I did spare her a glance and and idiotic wave before practically speeding away.

Larissa stood there on the footpath shocked, blushing like one of her students, she returned the wave and set to get in her own vehicle. Sitting in the drivers seat hands clamped to the steering wheel, she let out a chesty giggle and a smile reaching her eyes. It was Larissa’s turn to feel like a giddy little girl. On her way back go nevermore I was the only thing on Larissa’s mind, by the time she arrived through the gates it was just after 2 pm, she would spend the rest of the day in a haze hardly concentrating.

Later that night she dragged a chair in front of her fireplace with a blanket adorned over her lap with her new book in hand and a glass of wine placed on the floor next to her, a relaxing evening to go along with an eventful afternoon. I was much the same, unlike the previous night I had enough energy to make something for dinner while standing in the kitchen with my own book, reading passages from it whilst stirring the food on the stove.

the eyes

are portals to

different worlds

this is why

we shut them in

beautiful moments.

Let’s just say both of our dreams that night were of each other and the next morning consisted of thoughts for Fridays dinner.

———

Just wait for the dinner;)

@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar @giogwensversion @sabraaabra

[feligamifebruary]

Parisiens, Parisiennes, dragons and birds of all horizons,

Feligami February is fast approaching, and you may already be thinking of the wonderful art you will bestow upon us throughout the month. It will be our pleasure to share your creations on this blog, and archive them in case our timeline gets erased.

I sense that, like Felix, you have an inquisitive mind. Fear not, for we have prepared a helpful FAQ below:

1. Tell me about the event!

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, Feligami February is a month-long fandom event dedicated to our favourite lovebirds. The principle is simple: to tickle your brains (and hearts!) with our prompts, so you are inspired to create the content you want to see on Tumblr on AO3.

Any and all creative media are welcome: art, fics, AMVs, playlists, cosplays, moodboards, web weaves… No rules and no amoks shall get in your way.

2. Sounds fun! How do I join?

Simply upload your creation(s) to the #feligami february and #feligami february 2024 tags, and make sure to tag this blog. This will ensure we spot your work, as easily as Felix spotted the Peacock Miraculous under Gabriel’s tie.

3. I’m not sure I can cover all 29 prompts, or post on time. Can I still participate?

Of course! The entire point of this event is to have fun. Don’t overwork yourself.

4. I have an idea, but it doesn’t align with any of the prompts. Can I still post it?

Please do! The prompts are here for inspiration, not to suffocate you. Break your chains.

5. Are poly ships allowed?

Absolutely, as long as they include Feligami and exclude any incest and/or pedophilia.

6. What about smut?

Given the age of the characters and the target audience of the show, we will not be allowing any form of smut as part of this event. Similarly, NSFW content will not be allowed in our Discord community (more on that below).

7. What about angst?

Go ahead! Please make sure to tag potentially triggering content to keep the event safe and enjoyable for everyone.

8. The creative process can be a bit lonely. Where can I meet other cool, motivated, brilliant Feligami creators like myself?

Fear not, for we have you covered. By joining our dedicated Discord server, you will get the chance to hang out with fellow Feligami fans, share your ideas, and take a peek at the amazing content coming your way. Think of it as our own little window, on which we all draw hearts for each other.

If you’d like to join, please follow this link to the art room, where you will not be subjected to a creepy, hallucination-based play.

9. You guys sound cool! Where can I find your work?

🐈‍⬛ Paracosmicat (any pronouns)

The best Adrien expert there is, and a reference for all Manon-is-Lila conspiracists. They are also the instigator of this beautiful adventure!

Tumblr | AO3 | Senticousins sideblog

🕊️ Nina (she/her)

Thinker of thoughts and rotater of blorbos. Our marketing and communications expert.

Tumblr | AO3 | Senticousins sideblog

🧬 Helix (she/her)

Artist extraordinaire, romance lover, and our much needed IT expert. If this blog doesn’t explode by the end of the month, it will be exclusively thanks to her.

Tumblr | AO3

Without further ado, we wish you all a lot of fun, inspiration, and bone-chilling musical numbers! 🎶