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ryuichirou · 1 year ago

Note

I been wondering what would it be like for the cast to be parents? I seen how Idia and Azul will likely be terrible ones and I am curious for the rest. (Except for Lilia for obvious reasons)

Anon! Sorry for the late reply. The day has come for me to share with you my nrc-as-parents headcanons lol I’ve mentioned this theme a little bit in one of the previous replies about Azul and Idia a while ago, and I’ll reiterate: we usually don’t really love the scenarios than involve characters becoming parents, and because of that I probably ended up talking about how bad of a parent all of them are lol But I tried to make it as fair as possible.

Actually, some of them turned out to be not so shitty ones! Which is quite surprising, not gonna lie.

Alright, so…

Riddle – such an anxious parent. One would assume that he would try not to mess his kid up as badly as his mom messed him up, but it’s Riddle we’re talking about; he’s still super dependant on tutorials and rulebooks, and whether he wants to acknowledge and avoid his parents’ mistakes or not, he’ll end up overthinking it and messing up massively. I guess it all depends on his partner, but he’d need a lot of help. He’s going to copy his mother until somebody stops him, although at some times he would think “I was actually very upset when my mother did that, I should stop”, but he wouldn’t be able to catch or even see all these moments, especially on his own.

Trey – “oh he is the perfect dad!” I hear the crowd saying. “NO!!!” I’m yelling back at the crowd. Of course, he is super caring and empathetic and has experience with children. And looking at some of the other…. Uh… contestants… of course, Trey is one of the best. But he is also an enabler that spoils his kids rotten. He’s way too doting. He’s strict about their dental hygiene! But other than that? Nah.

Cater – god I don’t think Cater would ever want a kid. I think he would think that unless he has a perfect and stable life with a house and no need to move anytime soon, it’d be too irresponsible to get a kid. But even then, he would be so focused on not messing up his kid (and he would only have one because siblings sucks) that he would probably make things worse lol He would also probably try to make everything seems perfect and his kid really wouldn’t appreciate it when they get older.

Ace – he’s the dad that doesn’t pay child support and visits them like once or twice every other week. I know I judge him based on his younger self, but I don’t feel like this guy is getting mature or responsible anytime soon. He’s the type of parent that always looks hella confused about what to do with a kid, especially when they’re too young/too old to appreciate his sick magic tricks. He’s not heartless, he just doesn’t get it and gets frustrated because of that and doesn’t want to continue trying.

Deuce – he would try to do his best. He would actually be quite a nice parent, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t make mistakes or get frustrated. He’ll mess up A LOT; he’s just very good at learning from his mistakes and knows how important it is to have a good parent. And his mom would help out a lot.

Leona – distant, lazy, always salty at someone for some reason. The type of dad who could technically brag about his kid to someone, but when the kid is there he just sits on a couch and watches tv in silence. He gets inspired to teach his kid how to throw a ball from time to time, but he’s also the type of a dad to miss the perfect timing for this kind of bonding and end up with a teenager who doesn’t want to hang out with him. Wow that went dark lol

Ruggie – on the one hand, he also has a lot of experience with taking care of children. On the other hand, his kid would know how to pickpocket at the age of 2. Just in case. His kid would love him a lot, but he’s definitely not the most conventional dad one could have. He’d also never have a child without any sort of financial stability because he doesn’t want his child to be raised up in the streets.

Jack – oh come on, he would be such a good father that it’s actually boring, NEXT!!!

Azul – Riddle’s mom 2.0. I’m sorry, this is the hill I’m going to die on. Yes, Azul was loved by his family and surrounded by nothing but support and care, but he’s also a psychotic control-freak that truly believes that he was too spoiled and that his parents should have been MORE STRICT WITH HIM!!! So in his head, the best thing he could do is to make sure that his kid knows magic by the age of 3, knows how to work with contracts by the age of 5, learns how to play an instrument, does sports, knows how to cook, has perfect pronunciation and vocabulary, and oh of course the kid also needs to have a hobby because if they don’t have anything they’re passionate about they’ll never succeed in life! Azul is overbearing lol but he is also probably overly protective of his kid. He’d also yell at his mom for spoiling her grandchildren lol but his mom would make a great counterbalance for his attitude with her being sweet, so it’s not that bad for a child...

Floyd – HE DOESN’T NEED A KID. PLEASE. HE AND JADE BOTH WOULD PIT TWO NEWBORNS AGAISNT EACH OTHER AND GO “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT”. But if we’re being honest, I just think he’s too volatile to be a proper parent. The possibility that he’d get bored and just ditch this whole parenting thing altogether is too high lol

Jade – If we don’t go the “baby wrestling” scenario, he’s… confusing. He might be a wonderful dad who is surprisingly perfect at parenting and smiles at you with his “what, you thought I would be bad at it? too bad” smile. As if he’s doing it to spite everyone. As if he’s plotting something. But I can also picture him leaving his kid in a forest just to see if he would find his way home.

Kalim – Oh he’s the most doting dad ever. His kid would have everything they want, he’ll shower them with love, kisses, songs, tasty food, gifts, snacks, cool outfits. He would photograph everything and have tons of videos on his phone. He would talk about his kids all the time. He would be so obnoxious and insufferable, Jamil would actually ask him to PLEASE consider not spending half of their funds on his child’s birthday gift? You’ll literally go broke please stop PLEASE.

Jamil – he’s also probably the one not to have a kid for a very long time because of having too many irons in the fire. But he’d be an okay parent. His biggest problem would be the fact that he’s busy. His kid would probably be super mature from a very young age though. And learn how to cuss from Jamil. Jamil didn’t mean to teach them that, but oh fuck. But also I think he would somehow end up making some of the same mistakes his parents made with him. He’s way too focused on Kalim to notice that he pushes his kid away a lot hoping that they’ll “understand” because they’re “smart”.

Vil – he would be a solid one! He’s also super focused on his kid learning a bunch of stuff from a very young age, but he is much more mature and empathetic than Azul is about it. Still, he’s quite strict, but he’s also super doting when he has his soft moments. But sometimes he still takes his own perfectionism too far. He’s the one to read a lot of the books about parenting and try to be as prepared for it as possible. But mistakes are unavoidable so let’s hope that the great Vil Schoenheit shows his excellence at everything he does yet again.

Rook – oh the weirdo. He has his strong points, and a lot of them: he’s super supportive, super loving, he helps out a lot, and he would actually provide a good balance if the second parent is Vil for example. At the same time, it’s impossible to have a “normal childhood” when your dad is Rook, because he’ll teach you how to hunt, how to survive in the woods, how to hide your presence from a tiger. His kids will watch him snap a deer’s neck at the age of like 2. So yeah, on the one hand he would be that parent who yells in excitement at his kid’s elementary school play, but he’ll also give the most ruthless critique to them afterwards. He’ll show his kid the beauty of nature, but he’ll also leave them in the woods for a week to survive alone. Don’t worry, he believes in them~ (his kid and Jade’s kid would stumble upon each other in the same woods and become friends lol)

Epel – he’s too much of a baby… I can’t even picture him having a kid. What kind of a teen mom?.. He’s going to be too focused on this whole cute/manly stuff, this never ends well lol

Idia – the awkward and avoiding parent that kind of wants to hang out with the kid but also wants nothing to do with them. He doesn’t know how to act around them and it’s painfully obvious. So he might miss the moment to actually bond with them just like Leona, but on the other hand, if the other parent is Azul, Idia could be “the fun parent”: the type that you can eat ice-cream with and play videogames for hours. But when the videogaming and ice-cream eating hours are over, he’ll just stop communicating with the kid again and hide somewhere. He doesn’t like being a parent much; he’d prefer to be “a cool uncle” of sorts. The one that only comes to visit twice a year…

Ortho – an actual cool uncle lol I also can’t picture Ortho as a dad. He’d be a collection of all the dad tropes from the tv. He would have so much fun! Not sure of the kid would have fun though. But Ortho would!

Lilia – oh we all know how good of a father he is. The best one.

Silver – a very sweet and empathetic one, caring and protective; his main downfall is the fact that his own childhood was so messed up that he doesn’t really know how to care for kids. Of course he wouldn’t just drown a kid in milk like his own dad did, but he also wouldn’t automatically assume that it probably isn’t safe to just let his kid play with a sword on their own. Something among the lines.

Sebek – absolutely obnoxious. Sometimes he’s surprisingly good… because his childhood wasn’t as bad as Silver’s, so he knows better. He’s also the one to read a lot of books and hope that he won’t make any mistakes. But he’ll make mistakes, get frustrated and angry, and make even more mistakes. And then he’ll sing an ode to Malleus instead of a regular lullaby because the young one needs to learn what’s important from the very first days of their life!!!!!!111 Silver and he need each other to balance shit out lol

Malleus – he would try, but I don’t trust him to try hard enough lol he would be invested and loving at first, but he would also get moments when he would just leave a kid and go on a stroll. It would probably take some time for him to learn that he probably shouldn’t do this. Hey he went through the same thing, right? Was it fair then? Why isn’t it fair now? (besides, Silver also turned out alright!) Not everything is about you, Malleus…

#replies #headcanons

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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 2 years ago

Text

SCREAMS

WELCOME BACK

I’VE HAD A WEEEK OF THINKING ABOTU EP 4 NONSTOP AND THE ONLY REASON I’M NOT POSTING ART IS BECAUSE I’M PARANOID ABOUT PEOPLE UNTHINKINGLY SLAPPING SPOILERS IN THE TAGS (its happened before) BUT DADSY HAS MY ENTIRE SOUL ANYWAY

ITS EP 5 TIME AND HECK HECK

MONKIE KID SEASON 4 EPISODE FIVE WE HALFWAY THROUGH BOOOOIIIIIIS

BUCKLE UP I AM NORMAL ALREADY FOLKS

actually to be honest I’ve been pretty chillin until I doodled Pigsy and Mk and now I’m feeling feral THIS SHOW REALLY IS SO GOOD FOR MY BRAIN YELLSSS

OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO COURT OF THE YELLOW ROBED DEMON HECK SOUNDS FUN LETS BOOGIE

continues to be a banger theme song that i will listen to all the way through every time it plays thank you very much

. . .

i need a moment

lays down

Pigsy absolute beloved ;-;

ALSO I’M KINDA WHEEZING AT THE BLUE ISN’T REALLY MY COLOUR

HECK I DIDNT’ APPRECCIATE EP 4 ENOUGH SO YOU BEST BELIEVE I’MA BE CHERISHIGN THE CRAP OUTTA EPISODE FIVE

I’M JUST SO HAPPY PLS BGSL;DKFMSDF

Pigsy washing his clothes in the river, Mk doodling i adore I’m so much and MEI BELOVED BALANCING SWORD ON HER NOSE I’M

THE VIBES ARE SO GOOD I WILL CRY

i had to rewind because i just sat here watching and just ;-; SUCH GOOD VIBES MAN |;A;/

ALSO HECK DIOLOGUE

HECKINGDSFLKMSD

PIGSY CALLING OTHER PIGSY A MONSTER

HMHMHM JOTTING THAT DOWN UR HONOUR

NGL BUT THAT VALIDATES MY OWN LITTLE SELF-INDULGENT FIC I WROTE A WHILE BACK OF TIME TRAVEL AND HIM DISLIKING PAST HIM SORRY I’M JUST GRRGRRRAWRRR BITES /POS

IS PIGSY HAVING TROUBLE ACCEPTING THAT WAS A PAST LIFE?

HECK I’M BITESBITESBITES

THE LAST EP KINDA FELT CONFUSING WHERE TANGS FELT VERY THUROUGH IN WHAT THE BIGGEST REGRET THING WAS BUT

AFTER LITERALLY JUST THAT LINE I’M LIKE OH SO HIS GREATEST REGRET WAS JUST BEING WHO HE WAS HUH FR

I’M LIKE THIRTY SECONDS IN AND ALREADY NORMALGBS;LDFKMA

Tang with the name correction ;-;

PIGSYGBSDFLMWE

DON’T GO COMPARING ME TO THAT DEMON

I’M JUST PLAIN OL PIGSY

|;A;/

I’M FINE IGNORE ME

Pigsy ur so valid for wanting layers on hHNV;LKSMFSD But my good sir no need to apologize for being a hunk smhBG;LSKDFM;WOEF

Mei

Mei absolute beloved

s SCREAMS

DRAGON TIME

WE GONNA SEE HIIIMMMMMMM

considering i had so much brainrot about Wukong and Ao Lie brother moments after season 3 if we see him and we get any of his care for his bro i will be emotionally destroyed /pos LIKE I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM SM I TELL YOU AAAAAAAA

Mei: oh he must’ve been awesome

you’re right mei he was

just didn’t get much… screen time. book time? time BG;KSADFKMSDF

I WONDER HOW THEY’LL CHRACTERIZE HIM

HECK

AAAAAAA

SO MANY OPTIONS

i am very normal if we see him i’ll cry

Mei’s got some seriously good balance now

MY ANCENSTORGSLDFKMAGNMAWE

Okay i wanna laugh over Mei’s I THOUGHT MONKEY KIGN WIAS YOUR DAD! HE’S NOT MY DAD!!!!

I WAS GONNA LAUGH BUT U H

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS BEEN MENTIONED

MK IS LITERALLY DRAWING A STONE EGG

THE PEBBLE CRACKING IN HIS FLASHBACK

BUDDIES OF MINE SUDDENLY ON THE MK AND WUKONG SIBLING TRAIN

head in hands

so this confirms the theory that smacked me in the face last week this is fine

Mk fr probably a pebble from swk’s rock or something i don’t know TOO MANY FINGERS POINTING IN TAT DIRECTION I DONT’ KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT FEEL FREE TO PROVE ME WRONG UNIVERSE I WOULD GLADLY ACCEPT IT

AM I AFRAID TO LEARN ABOUT MK’S BACKSTORY NOW?

YEAH A LITTLE BIT

EVERYHTING IS FINE

TIS IS FINE

PLS

SCREAMS

HE SAID IT

SHAKES YOU

GUYS HE SAID IT I’MGNSDFLK;MASDF

THE POINT

AND

PIGSY’S MY DAD

PIGSY SWEATINGBDL;KMASD

PLEASENG;LKSAMF

UR HONOUR

UR HONOUR PLEASE

THIS IS MY SEASON

HECKING

GETTING EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT SHUT UUUUPPPPBGS;DFKLMAW;EOIMFE

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

HIS BLEP AND CONTINUES COLOURING

Y’ALL MK MY BELOVED I ADORE THIS DUDE SM

PIGSY BLINDSIDED BY BEING CALLED DAD SO BLATANTLY I’M ON THE FLOOR

MK REALLY JUST

LETS CUT THE CRAP THAT’S MY DAD EVERUYBODY ELSE CAN GO I’MGBSD;FKMASDF

Guys I think i found my favourite episode

no lie this is

everything to me rn

PLEASE

A CONSPIRICY BOARDBG;SLKDMFWE

TANG’S DOODLES

SANDY STILL OFF SCREENGBSD;FKM;WOEF

CAN MEI BECOME A HORSENGKLMFD

GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY

HECK HECK I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MOVING TO FAST I WANT TO GO BACK AND REWATCH THE WHOLE MONKEY KINGS NOT MY DAD PIGSYS MY DAD UH KID I’M NOT TECNICALLY-

HEKCKMGNDSFMSD

YEAH

I CAN’T BELIEVE

THEY’RE THEORIZING ON SCREEN

ABOTU WHETHER OR NOT MK’S RELATED TO MONKEY KING

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL I FEEL LIKE I’M SCROLLING THORUGH THE FANDOM TAGBGBSDL;KFMSDF

I WILL CRY

HECK THIS IS SO FUNNY SEEING IT ALL SLAPPED OUT LIKE THAT I’VE LITERALLY THOUGHT THAT ALL IN THAT ORDER WE’VE MADE SO MANY THEORIES LIKE THIS I’M WHEEZINGNSDFL;KMSDF

BELOVED MONKEY KING

REAL SWK CONFIRMED

I’M GONNA SCREAM

THEY LEGIT DOING THIS??

FR???

I CAN’T BELEIVE THISGBSD;FKLMOEWF

RELATED TO MONKEY KING SOMEHOW CONFIRMED IG

ALL THAT

PLS

HE’S AT LEAST A STONE MONKEY

I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD WORK I LIKE MONKEY KING BEING ONE OF A KIND AND ALL THAT NOT SURE ABOUT THAT APPROACH BUT HECK IT WE BALL IG

ALSO PLEASELMGSAOFE

MK JUST LIKE NOOOO NONONONONOOO NO THANK YOU THAT’S CRAAAAZY

ah yess because he’s normally sooooo forthcoming with information

HELPGSDLKF

YEAH

SHE GOT A POINT LAD

SHE DO BE GOT A POINT

poor mk not looking very stoked at this possibility

CURIOUS YOU’D THINK HE’D BE ECSTATIC BUT IG TRUAMA DOES A LOT BGSDL;FKMS

MK COMUNICATING LEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WELL WHEN WE FIND HIM WE CAN ASK HIM! :D

PLS I JUST LOV EHIM A LOT GUYS

PIGSYGBSD;LKFMWE

PIGSY YOU’VE BEEN HERE FIVE SECONDS WHY ARE YOU ANNOYEDNLGKMMFEEF

I’m telling you now! :D

PLS IT TAKES A SECOND TO FIGURE THESE THINGS OUT

HECK

SCREAMS

HECK WAIT

I’M NOT READY

THIS IS SO EARLY IN THE EPISODE WDYM

USUALLY THEY WAIT TILL CLSOER TO THE END TO LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY

WE’RE ONLY TWO MINUTES IN

HELP WAITBG;LSDKMF

also welp ig mk really is stone monkey HOW DOES THAT WORK I DON’T KNOW I’M IN PIECES GO BACKGNS;LKFMWE

i DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S MONKEY KINGS ROCK MK I THINK IT’S YOURS

ALSO UM WHAT THE HECKNVG;LKSDMFBGN;AKFMA;WOEF

MK VERY EAGER TO HAVE MONKEY KING EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE HE’S DEFINITELY NOT HIS DADGBSDF;LKM;SDF

heck

okay

soooo

that sounded

less like monkey kings voice there

and more like

ahem Mk’s

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

SCREAMS AND SHAKES YOU ALL

I SWEAR IF HE’S A CLONE

OR HECKING

SOMETHING ID ONT’ KNOW

HE HECKING BETTER NOT BE DEAD

IT BETTER NOT BE MONKEY KING ISNT’ ACTUALLY MONKEY KING AND MK’S HIS REINCARNATION AND MONKEY KING IS ACTUALLY JUST A CLONE LEFT BEHIND TO COACH HIS NEXT LIFE THAT STUPID THING I MADE UP I SWEAR I WILL BE CRUSHED PLEASE DONT’ BE THATBG;SDLKFMAWOE I MADE THAT UP FOR ANGST PURPOSES NOT FOR IT TO BE A HTEORY FOR CANON

i am full of fear

HECK THOSE ARE GIANT EYES

SCROLL CURSE

OH NO THEY LOST THE CHEAT SHEET

CHEAT SHEET WAIT THAT’S SO FUNNYGHSBDFLK;MWEF

OH HECK

HECKK

ECK HECK JGSDJLFSJD

MEI

WATCH IT

OH SHE’S FAST NOW

OH RIP

WELP

I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING

SO WE’RE GONNA GET A MEI ARC IN THIS ONE AGAIN HUH

BREAK THE SWORD DISSAPOINTED FAMILY OR SOMETHIGN GOTTA RE-PROVE HERSELF OR SOMETHIGN HECKINGNFDL;KMWE

THAT’S SUCH PRETTY ANIMATION THO HECK EHCK

WE’RE ONLY 2:50 IN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS SCREAMS

THEY BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN ALL BUBBLED TO DIFFERENT PLACES I SWEAR

oh no yup separated

I’M SO SORRY MEI ILY

OH RIP

WELP

YUP EVERYBODY SEPERATED

AWESOME

HELPGML;SDFM

CONGRATS TANG LOOOKS ILKE YOU’RE IN THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN

GL WITH THAT

WIAT HELPGNSAOWE

HE FR JUST SCREAMS AND BUBBLES AWAY

HELPGMSLDF

I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE LONGER HELPGNSDLFKMSDF

peak comedy there well done lets scream and run away from that chapter so true bG;LKAWEMFAEWFNAWFE

Mei.

Mei you

Mei you literally have the fire of Samadhi

you have the Samadhi fire

you don’t need a swordnGL;KMAWFE

OKAY THO MEI EP OR SOEMTHING IG

SHE’S GONNA GO ON A JOURNY OF SELF-DISCOVERY IG

ALSO WHERE THE HECK DID MK GO

WE SAW EVERYBODY ELSE

WER’ES MY BOOOIIIII

OH I HATE HIM

IMMEMDEATLEY

WHO’S THIS CLOWN

FIESTY

EAT MY FIST

WHY IS HE

TALKINGNSDFL;KMWE

KILL HIM

SUS OLD MAN

OH RIGHT YEAH YOU’RE THIS GUY

OH HE’S A VIBE ACTUALLY

LONG HAIR VIBIN

YOU BETTER NOT HTINK MEI IS YOU’RE HEKCING WHATEVER

OR MAYBE YOU WANNA CONSUME HER

OKAY YEAH

FUN

I’LL BE SPICY ALRIGHT

OHH

OKAY CONCERN

BURN HIM ALIVE

COME ON W

not gonna

eat her right away oka

ITS HIM

ITS HIM HITSBSFBGANFABF;IOAWMEFAWMGFA;LFMAWOIEMFAF

SCREAMS

ITS HIM

TIS HIM

SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU ITS HIM

I KNOW IT IS

ITS HIM I TS HIM TBNSLKMGNEEM

ITS HIM

GREEN

ITS HIM

SCREAMS IT HE

ITS HIM ITS MY MAAAN

ITS HE

SCREAMS

ITS AO LIE

SHUT I’M UP GONNA CRY ITS HIM RIGHT NOW HE

I’M HAVING A MOMENT HERE GUYS GIVE ME A SECOND I’M GONNA CRY

OH HE’S SO SCRUNGLY

OH HE’S SO

YES

OH THE LONG SLEEVES EXCUSE ME HE’S SO DELIGHTFUL

I IMMEDEATELY ADORE HIM

I am not normal

HE’S BEAUTIFUL

HIS LITTLE HEADTILT

I WILL SOB

HELPGMSDLFKMSDF

TANG JUST ZOOMIN

NOP NOPE NOPE NOPE

THE NEZHA MOMENT

THIS IS ACTUALLY SO MUCH FUN

HECK AO LIE IS SO SCRUNGGLY I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YA’LL

HE’S DRAWN SO NICE

HES’ BEAUTIFUL

MEI GETS TO HANG OUT WITH HER ANCESTOR

SHE’S EITHER GONNA BE ANNOYED BY HIM OR VIBE AND I’M GONNA CRY EITHER WAY

OH NOPPES OUT TANG ET MOVING

YUP NOPE

THAT’S THE WORNG DOOR VERY MUCH

OH HE’S LAUGHIGN AT HER

WHATS SO FUNNY GUY

I LOVE

I LOVE HIM

SISTER

PLS

I ADORE HIM

YOU DONT’ UNDERSTAND I’M IN LOVE WITH HIS DESIGN THE VOICE ACTOR IS SO GOOD

THE :3 FACE THEY’RE GIIVNG HIM

i am actually going to cry YOU GUSY HE’S SO SCRUNGLY

PLEASE

PLEASE HE’S EVERYHTING TO ME

I WANT TO GIVE HIM SNACKS

THE TRIP

PLEASE

HE’S JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GUY

truly this is the youngest sib during the journey truly tis him

i love how i’m just assuming this is Ao Lie when i actually have no proof its just the vibes via the story and the fact he’s beautiful and green and absolutely delightful I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTANDNGLSDMAGNWO;EFM

oh man we’re only halfway through this is gonna be a long post hG;KLSDFJSD

THIS GUY

YUP MILDLY ANNOYED

I LOVE HIM

OH BUDDY NO

BUD

BELOVED

I’M ABOUT TO CRY

BRUH REALLY

JUST VIBIN

WAITING FOR HIS PWOERS TO BE SNATCHED

AND MEI JUST OUTRAGED BY THAT

YEAH

I’M

HECK

HECK GUYS THAT’S HER ANCESTOR I’M GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS THIS IS A THREAT

INACTION IS CARELESS

INTERSTING

MADAM

MEI NOT ALL OF THAT IS CORRECT

OH LETS GO I HOPE THIS IS A BOTH LEARN SOMETHING FROM EACH OTHER ARC I WILL CRY

MEI HECKA PASSIONATE ABOUT HER FRIENDS

HELPGMSDFLMADF

DO NOT SENSE

PLEASE

PLEASE HANG ON THIS IS MOVING SO FAST

THEY WENT FROM LIKE

HI HI

*INTENSE PHYSCOLOGICAL DISCUSSION*

THEY JUST MET PLEASENG;LKMSDFE

IS IT GONNA BE LIKE

GET OUT AND THEN SURPRISE! I’M AO LIE!

ANYWAY IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU BYEEEE

PLS

A SWORD IS POWERLESS WITHOUT THE HAND THAT WEILDS IT

I ADORED IT

MY DUDE WHO IS PROBABLY AO LIE no its’ definitely Ao Lie AO LIE BELOVED I LOVED IT ITS A GREAT BIT OF WISDOM

THEIR LITTLE BANTER IS SO FUNNY PLEASE

MEI’S READY TO BITE HIM HE’S JUST SILLY GOOFY MAN

THEY BOTH GOT GOOD POINTS

man family dinner must be fun if his sister’s anything like Mei bGALK;SMDFAOWEF MAN I LOVE THEM

TANG REALLY GOING THROUGH IT

MO??????

MO IS THAT YOU???

HECK???

WHERE’D YOU COME FROM???

WHY AREN’T YOU WITH SANDY??

i mean sandy’s probably not sandy rn but MO????

OH HECK

HELLO

LOUDLY

DECLARING THAT HUH

WHATS GOING ON OVER THERE

Y’know hang on before we listen to Wukong’s bros trash talk him i wanna think about the fact that Wukong and Ao Lie probably get along great because they’re so alike

they’re just silly goofy Ao Lie probably reminds Wukong of himself back when he was just goofing off pls

OH??

OH MACAQUE’S THERE LISTENIGN TO THEM TRASH TALK HIS BELOVED FRIEND?? YEAH?? OH I’M INVESTED LETS FREAKING GO

unpredictable sure is a word for WukongnGL;KMEAFWE

CHARERISTICALLY QUIET PLSNG;LSDKMF

oh wow hey

New VA nailing it actually

deeper sounding

more gruff hang on i need a sec

lays down

heck

okay

okay we’re good

lets see if Azure’s vibes continue to be rancid or he says something to bring it back

also my goodness what a good thing to slap in there, Monkey king gone for years at a time sure does make it sketchy i’m biting this

OH HE’S IN THE BIG OL KING SEAT UH

TANG RECIGNIZING HIM FROM THE DOODLE

PLS THAT’S SO SILLY /POS

NO YEAH ME TOO DUDE

HE’S HECKA SUS

HIS VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID

also heck i’m curious as to what they’re gonna do with this

like if Mac goes along with those three and then it’s actually the other way around not Wukong betraying them but them betraying him that’d be WILD considering we’re all so sure its something Wukong did but heck maybe Azure really does do something heck heck

OKAY BACK TO THE FAMBLY

and the excellently designed dude i immediately hated

he and Ao Lie are on opposite sides of the scale for me pleasemKLGASDF Cool design I IMMEDEATELY HATE HIM and COOL DESIGN I ADORE HIM

Whats up greasy ole face weirdo

OH BELOVED

BEAUTY FIRST

DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT

DID HE JUST SAY BEAUTY FIRST OR AM I JUST IN LOVE WITH THE DESIGNGNSDLFKMABGOWEMF

I’M GONNA ASSUEM THAT’S WHAT HE SAID AND CRY OVER THE FACT AO LIE IS PRETTY WE BEEN KNEW

OH MAN MEI’S GREAT

YEAAAHHHHH

SCREAMS

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

is the the DANG DRAGON MOMENT U SEEM MORE FAMILAR ARE WE RELATED MOMENT OR GNSLDK;MFAOWEIM

AAAA

SEH’S SO GOOD I LOVE HER A LOT

GET EM MEI

AYO

MADE HERSELF A SWORD

LETS FREAKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

SHE’S SO GOOD

I LOVE HER

WHITE HORSE DRAGON

HEAR THAT AO LIE??

HEAR THAT???

Its okay i’m fine i’m just losing it

GET EM GURRRLL

SHE’S SO

FREAKING POWERFUL

OH WOW THE DRAMATIC

HAIR SWOOSHY

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT DAY TO BE CARELESS

OH FREAKING

HECK

WOW

HE’S

OH WOW

I LOVE

HIM

I LOVE IM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

ITS YOU

AO LIE LIKE EH??

VA GO BRRR

I KNEW YOU WERE COOL

OH REALLY YOU THINK SO? :D

HE’S SO SCRUNGGLY

OH THE COOLEST

PLEASE

I WANT MORE OF HIM

I WANT MORE OF HIM SO BADLY

I BEG OF YOU

HE IS EVEYRTING TO ME I GOT CHILLS

HECK

OH MAN

MAN

AMV TIME HERE I COME THIS SEASON IS SO FREAKING GOOD I’M LOSING IT

I’M GONNA MAKE SO MANY AMVS I SSWEAR

I’M GONNA WATCH THIS EP ON LOOP

AO LIE IS EVERYTHING

I WANT HIM BACK

PLEASE

AAAAAAAAAA

|;A;/

SCREEAAAMMSSS

OKAY

OH MY BOY ARE YOU ALRIGHT?

HECK HE WAS STRAIGHT UP KNOCKED OUT UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE

GO BACK WHERE’S PIGSY HECK HECK HECK

I WANT MORE DADSY CONTENT WAAAAIT

OHBOY

WHERE ARE THEY

OH PUTI

OH ARE WE

WHERE

HECK

HANG ON

SHOOT

HE IS NOT REPLACING SWK IN THIS

I SWEAR

I WILL LOSE MY GOSH DANG MIND IF THEY DO THAT

SWK IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME DON’T DO THIS TO ME

HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK

SCREAMS

OKAY

OKAY SO MK IS IN

MONKEY KINGS PLACE

HECK

SO CONFIMRED MK STONE MONKEY AT LEAST, LITERLALY SWK’S SON OR SIBLING AT MOST OR LITERALLY SWK, AO LIE IS MY MOST FAVOURITE EVER I WANT HIM AND SWK BEING GOOFY TOGETHER RIGHT FREAKING NOW, ZHU BAJIE’S GREATEST REGRET MIGHT JSUT BE HIM BEING HISMELF, LBD LOOKED RIGHT AT TANG, MEI CAN MAKE HER OWN NEW SWORD NOW, MK MIGHT BE REPLACING MONKEY KING, AZURE’S VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID, THE NEW VA FOR MAC IS DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB OF SOUNDING CLOSE THE TO THE OG (nothing but appreciation for this guy thank you big shoes to fill) AND THEY’RE ALL SEPERATED, TANG FOUND MEI THO, AO LIE WAS READY TO GIVE UP HIS OWN POWERS, THEY CLASHED BOTH HAD GOOD POINTS, TANG BOOKED IT OUT OF THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN, MK DIDN’T KEEP HIS FRIENDS IN THE DARK ABOTU HIS VISIONS FOR LONGER THAN LIKE TWO EPISODES AND IS COMMUNCIATING, SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM THINKING ABOUT SWK AS HIS DAD, PIGSY GOT CALLED DAD PIGSY’S MY DAD, AH HECK HECK THIS EPISODE HAD SO FREAKING MUCH THEY FOUND MO, HOLDS HIM GETNLY, MACAQUEEEEEE AAAAAAAAA I LOVE ALL THESE GUYS SO MUCH

SHUT UP I THINK THIS IS MY FAVOURITE EPISODE NOBODY TOUCH ME I GOT EVERYTHING BUT WUKONG AND I’M ON A HIGH

KNOX OUT I GOTTA GO RUN INTO SOME SNOW

#knox rambles #knox reacts #monkie kid season 4 #lmks4spoilers #lmks4englishspoilers #I AM MENTALLY ILL /POS #AS EXPECTED THIS SEASON IS DESTROYING ME I'M #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #HOLY CRAP WHAT A HALFWAY POINT EPISODE THAT WAS SO MUCH I #HECKECKGMGBJMGOI;AWO;IEFJ;LAKFDS #THANK THE GODS FOR THE LAST CHILL EPISODE THIS WAS SO MUCH I'M HECKGB;SLKDFMEW #OKAY I GOTTA GET OFF WIFI SOMEONE NEEDS IT FOR THEIR MEETING I JUST WANTED TO POST THIS BECAUSE I'M LOSING MY MIND AND WILL BE FOR THE REST #OF THE WEEK THANKS GOOD DAY #HOPE Y'ALL ARE DOING WELL AND VIBIN I'M GOING FERAL

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iwillburn · 6 days ago

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I’ve put myself in a prison of my own creation I did this to myself I over share, I tell my plans thinking people are in my corner or have my best interest at heart

I’m constantly self sabotaging pushing the people I love the most away I something do know what real anymore idk who wants me I’ve realized so much about myself this year and I’m disgusted with myself I promised my self I’d be strong I never thought I’d turn into this when I telling the truth it’s looked at as lies and when I’ve lied it was to protect myself from more pain I’m not a victim I haven’t been a good person I must accept my wrongs and take accountability all year has felt like one big reaction …… reacting to people throwing jabs at me trying to destroy my mental …. Reacting to people pull at my heart going for my soft spot using me because they know how I love and how much I have to give and my reactions are my fault as a man I should have control over how I engage with people I should know better and I’m so disappointed and how much control I have people over me, I’ve been cruel I’ve been dishonest, I’ve been cold, I’ve been angry, and over all ive been a loser when i look i. the mirror idk what looking at anymore ive been called every name in the book for incel to narcissist, self absorbed, bipolar, autistic, slow dumb, know it all, lame, goofy fucboy, burnout, junkie clunker….like make up your mind i wont pretend like i dont have issues but i know now i have to be careful and who i allow to come in my energy give theyre opinion of who i am i almost started to believe them i have so much work to do and i cant let anyone in rn i to be sure im doing whats best for me and i wish this year didnt happen but i needed very lesson every step of the way i lost my person ik she was my person and it scares me to think ill never have a connection like that ever again we had so much in common it was wild at some point i thought she was copying my every move just to get attached in reality i got caught uo in my head inlet the people around me and my past hold me back from letting this person in….. all the plans we had all the places i wanted to take her all the self improvement we did together she has been the only person in the past 10 years thats help me in ways i didnt know i needed she made me want be a better man not only for myself but for everyone around me i fucked it up but how i did is so dumb paranoia and letting other people get in between us i was gang stalked my her ex and his friends and i should kept it to myself but at some point i thought she was in on it she would pull away at random and treat me as if i was a stranger all the things we told each other started to feel as if they've never been said at all she made me feel weird or creepy for check up on her or comforting her for sub tweets i knew were aimed at me all of a sudden im a stalker or im not respecting boundaries i deactivated all my accounts not only because of the gang stalking but also because i never wanted anyone to feel like im watching them that shit made me feel gross and i care so much about her feeling and her privacy i respect this person they've go me through the tuffest time in my life they dam near brought me back to life bur i cant accept the treatment anymore i found out they had 6 profiles and they would watch me on them so the projection is crazy i started making profiles to get away i had a youtube channel input alot of work into ive learned to keep they things i hold dear to myself now my accounts kept getting reported on all platforms she use my new accounts as proof that i watching her from them but i was trying to get away from her ex and continue my career well wanna be career ive been dealing with this so long i almost started to believe her i became scared to long in anything because i felt like many im the problem i havent been perfect but wtf is going on my mental was really tested this time im still trying to understand what was real this hurt me to my core she knows how much power she has over me and i wasnt afraid to hide how important she was to me i still dont want to believe she did any of this on purpose i dont want to believe her and her ex we in on it together but ill truly never know

#heartbreak #suic1de #gang stalking #ex boyfriend #sad thoughts #love #i love her #lost #please help

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hamadryad111 · 2 months ago

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Some pretty big changes are happening in my life,

After considering for years and going back and forth on this choice, I have made the decision to join the US Air Force. To be honest, I'm not satisfied nor happy with where I am in life and unfortunately I feel stuck financially and mentally. For the past 2 years, l've felt stagnant, working dead end jobs and not really doing anything nor contributing to anything and having no actual goals in life. I only have dreams that feel so far out of reach and I could never fully grasp into them, so, in all honesty, I haven't really been trying these past 2 years.

l've learned that I am my best self whenever I'm in a fast paced environment, l've also learned that I am the best version of myself when I have goals and something to prove not only to those around me but to myself. If I’m in a situation where I can prove that I am better at something or in a competitive position, I will do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals. I want to be in an environment where I know I can grow higher and become a better person as well as getting promoted within my career where as the job I’ve currently had for two years I’ve stayed in the same position, barely able to live off of minimal wage. I have tried college, and it just isn't for me unfortunately. I don't want to work 2-3 dead end jobs just to make ends meet And though it is scary being a woman in the military, and there are certain things and views that I disagree within the military, I feel as though I just have to suck it up, I really have no choice at this point and it is my only option in moving towards something I dream of having one day as well as having some sort of goal and path in life.

Throughout my entire life, my father has been in the military. Having only him to raise me and no mother figure, he has told me stories about his experiences and has nothing but positive things to say about it and has always been very adamant about me joining, and in some ways that little girl inside me just wants to make him proud, prove to him and to myself that I can do this, and I feel as though I’ll always want that because that’s just who I am. But I also know that I am doing this for myself and I have to remember to put myself first!

I currently have no direction in life, and I've never really known what I wanted to do with my life. I have certain hobbies and skills and dreams yes, but I’ve never really know how to make them a reality or career. But all I know is that I want to help people in any way I can, that has always been a goal of mine and it will continue to remain my top goal. I don't know if I'm making the right choice, and there is fear inside me about this decision, about making this decision I’ve held back on for years. This decision somewhat frightens me and yet I feel as though I have to do it (hehe Kratos quote 🤭)

I want to conquer this fear that has truly kept me held back and has prevented me from moving forward in life, my fear of failure has always affected my life and will most likely continue to do so for a very long time, but the first step towards conquering that fear is to simply make that choice and just do it.

But yes, although this post is very different compared to what I usually post, I just wanted to share what I’ve been going through ever since the hurricane. This hurricane has really made me open my eyes and question myself, made me realize that financially I’m not ready for any emergency as severe as this and it’s really been affecting me, but again it’s eye opening for me. Of course I’m not doing it just for the money, I feel like this is the next choice I have to make for myself.

To whoever read this fully, thank you so much. I hope you are all doing well and I hope to be back here soon with more music. Still not electricity or water here so it’s been incredibly hard, and now for the time being I don’t have a car (she gave out on my a few days ago and is currently in the shop and I’m still trying to figure out how I’m even gonna pay to get it fixed 😩) lately it just feels like one thing after another! But I just wanted to share my thoughts with you all and keep you all updated.

Hope everyone is happy and staying safe out there 💛

#life #military #air force #i dont know #idk what im doing #i love y’all #feeling stuck #just ughhh #I hope this is the right choice #is there really a right choice in this?#idk i’m in a mood #only thing that’s keeping me sane rn is god of war #always god of war man #I miss Kratos #god of war

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stayandcozy · 2 months ago

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Chapter 1: People, Places, Promotions

Chapter Summary: Solana attends a panel with her peers, where a performance from Stray Kids has her confronting the past. Afterward, Kai eagerly introduces the two friend groups. Despite her skepticism about the idols' intentions, Solana decides to stay, grappling with her own uncomfortable feelings.

WORD COUNT: 5666

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“Solana, it’s a dream come true seeing you in person. Hearing you talk with the other actors, it really shows how different you are from Irina. I have two questions. One, how do you get into such a character? And two, do you struggle with her character?”

I was staring out at a sea of blinking expectant eyes. Hundreds of people, all hanging on my next words, eagerly waiting for my answer. It was a simple question, though I could tell most of the crowd thought it was some deeply philosophical ask. It wasn’t, and I could only hope the real answer wouldn’t bore them. I deeply hated how I always had to make sure I was captivating in everything I said during the panels.

“I’ve got a dirty secret,” I said, leaning into my microphone, adding a touch more drama than necessary. It was what the crowd loved. “Ready for this?” I asked them. I got a mix of yes responses and continued. “The truth is… I used to be a lot like Irina. I hid my emotions until they festered into unrelenting anger. Much like Irina, I was dealt a shitty hand—sorry Jiho—so I was angry just like she is.” Nothing I said was a lie. I used to be angry, and even if I still was, the fire had dimmed to a softer simmer. It was no longer the raging inferno that consumed me. I went on, “The biggest difference between us is her inability to let others in. As silly as it sounds, this show really saved me. Both physically and mentally. Within this cast I was able to find friends I know I will keep for a lifetime.” I glanced at Claire and Collete who both gave me a soft smile. Then to Kai who wore a shit eating grin as if my confession was the best thing he had ever heard. Lastly there was Sasha, who was trying to blink back tears. “Maybe if Irina can learn to let others in, she can grow the way I did. As for your question, some days it’s harder than others to get into character. She reminds me of my old self, so memories can be brought up. But I think those are the days I connect with her the most and am able to deliver the best performances. No matter what her destiny is, I’m rooting for Irina, and I can’t wait to see where Danni takes her story in the future.”

Under the table, Sasha’s hand found mine and squeezed it tightly. It was warm and comforting. She felt a lot like Mom sometimes. She felt safe. Being cast in ‘The Universal Academy of Witches’ had been a stroke of luck. However I believe something deeper, perhaps something cosmic had brought me to Sasha.

Growing up, making friends was always challenging for me. I’d watch other girls click instantly, and I felt gnawing envy. When birthday invites were handed out, I was forgotten. When it was time to pair up in school, I’d be forced to sit alone and quietly work. I never understood why it was so hard for me. All I wanted was a group of friends to laugh and cry with. But instead, throughout my youth I only found myself more and more isolated. That loneliness became a kind of shield, something I wrapped around myself. I built my walls because it was easier to be alone, easier to not need anyone. At least, until I met Sasha.

We were alone in the waiting room. She was clearly nervous. Her leg bounced like it was on a spring, and she twisted her fingers around each other like they were the only thing grounding her to earth. I assumed she’d been cast as the jittery, anxious role—maybe the squirrely boy character. So, imagine my surprise when she introduced herself and revealed she’d been cast as Catherine, the strong-willed knight magician who cared more about order than any ruling government. Out of character her voice was soft and quiet, but the moment we started the cold read, Sasha and Catherine came alive.

Our situations couldn’t have been more different. Irina and I were woven from the same thread, but Catherine and Sasha felt like they were from opposite ends of the universe. Still, as time went, I could see Catherine in her, tucked away deep in her heart, waiting for the right moment to emerge. I knew it was coming.

Hearing the word sex broke me out of my thoughts immediately. “—the sex appeal character. Do you like playing fan-service roles or were you excited to get cast in something different this time?” The fan speaking to Sasha had started to lower the microphone and sit down, but just as his butt was about to hit the chair, he shot back up. “Wait! Also I’d love to know your favorite line. Okay sorry, thank you.” He finally sat down.

I didn’t even need to glance at her to know how she looked. Sasha hated those questions. Anytime her old work was brought up, I could see the energy drain from her. Her shoulders sagged, and her eyes lost a little of their sparkle. It was my turn to reach for her hand. I gave her a reassuring nod, hoping to give her a push to answer bravely. She looked back to me and smiled then let go of my hand.

”Well…” she drew out the word, buying herself a second to collect her thoughts. “I’m grateful for the roles I’ve had because they led me to where I am now. But did I like them?” She laughed into the microphone, a light, playful sound. “No. I didn’t like them. In fact, I hated them. They were just stepping stones, experience roles. But now that I’ve tasted the kind of characters I’ve always wanted to play, I’m never going back.

What an incredible answer it was. Sasha had this gift—the ability to connect with fans like it was what she was born to do. Despite all of her anxiety, when she was in front of a crowd, she beamed with radiance. “As for my favorite line,” she continued, “that’s tough. Do any of you have a favorite?” She gestured toward the rest of us on the panel.

It wasn’t a bad setup for a panel, really. We were seated in a packed university theatre auditorium. A long plastic table stretched in front of us, draped in a nice tablecloth with our show’s poster on it. Down at the far end, near the stairs, sat Danni Choi, the creative genius behind the manhwa. Next to her was her agent. Then came Jiho Lee, the manager for all the actors. Jiho had recently made headlines in South Korea for coming out as non-binary and launching a talent agency for queer entertainers. Some people adored them, and some hated them. After Jiho came the main cast of ‘Universal Academy of Witches’: Kai King, Collete Laurant, Sasha Wren, myself and lastly, Claire Gagni.

The premise of the show was simple enough: witches and warlocks from across the world came to train at an elite magic academy. So, the producers decided to cast actors from all over the globe. Kai was from Australia, Collete from France, Sasha from the U.S, Claire from the U.K, and me—from Russia. Well, technically. My last name Pavlov, and a passable Russian accent were all they needed to check that box. Never mind that I hadn’t been to Russia since I was six. But I wasn’t going to complain. That fake accent had landed me in a position where I could finally take care of Mom. I would always be grateful for Danni and Jiho seeing something in me when they watched my audition tape.

Claire must have wrapped up her favorite line because everyone was suddenly staring at me, waiting. I cleared my throat, preparing to drop into the lower register Irina’s voice required. “Irina is a woman of few words, but if I had to pick, I’d say, ‘I don’t fight because I want to win. I fight because I refuse to lose.’”

A handful of girls in the crowd started screaming, followed by a wave of applause. It still amazed me how putting on a different voice could inspire such a devoted fanbase. “Everyone has so many good lines,” Sasha mused, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, her eyes sweeping over the crowd like she was searching for an answer. “How am I supposed to pick?”

“See, she wants you to think she’s being all deep and quizzical,” Kai chimed in, laughing, “but she actually just can’t remember any of her lines.” The panel and the audience echoed his laughter.

“Alright, alright!” Sasha said, her eyes hardening into a steely resolve, a look that showed exactly why she’d been cast as Catherine. “‘Foolish cowards. My sword is the law, and I wield it with unwavering conviction.’”

The crowd went wild again. Next was Colette. Her character was a love witch, though more the innocent schoolgirl crush type rather than the seductive succubus archetype. “This is easy, Elise’s best line by far: ‘Yes, I’m crying! I can’t help it! I just love, love, love, love!’” A group of young girls cheered excitedly as Colette delivered the line.

Finally, it was Kai’s turn. He sat up a little straighter, taking a deep breath. His character, Oliver Brown, was the youngest professor ever to teach at the academy, and like many overpowered male protagonists, he had a massive cult following. His voice dropped into that perfect, smooth cadence that had won over so many fans—deep, rich, yet with a playful undertone that made every word sound effortless. “Now, I could be the good guy and give you the line you want…” He was toying with them, and the crowd ate it up. “Oh, fine. I can’t say no to you all,” he pouted, teasing them with a long pause. “Don’t worry, darling. Making the impossible look easy is kind of my thing. Besides, you know I can’t help but show off for you.”

The screams that followed were so loud I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. It was every fan’s dream to hear Kai say that in person. He beamed with pride while Sasha gave him an exaggerated look of disgust.

“Kai! You’re so hot!” someone in the crowd shouted, setting off another wave of laughter.

The moderator took that moment to step in, taking the mic from the last fan. “Alright, I think we have time for one more question.” He scanned the room, finally landing on a girl with short pink hair practically bouncing in her seat. He passed her the microphone, and she cleared her throat before speaking.

“Kai, I’m sure a lot of fans of UAW are here because of that live stream you did with Felix from Stray Kids. Neither of you really mentioned how you know each other, and I think a lot of us are dying to find out.”

Kai smiled softly at the girl. “Damn, here I thought I’d make it through the entire Q&A without him stealing the spotlight.” He shook his head and glanced at the producers. They gave him a quick nod, and he continued. “Well, Felix and I are both from Sydney. Not just that, we grew up on the same street, and our families are super close. I have three sisters who love to terrorize me every chance they get, so I always wished I had a brother to help me fight back. Felix was the closest thing I ever had to a brother. He’s a great mate. When I overheard Danni and some of the others talking about the opening song, it was like my heart spoke before my brain even realized it. I said, ‘Stray Kids could be cool for it,’ and the rest is history,” he laughed. “I didn’t think they’d actually reach out to the boys, but Felix and I were over the moon to be part of the same project. And it wasn’t just Felix—every one of them was excited. I’m not sure if you can tell, but I swear those guys are the biggest nerds you’ll ever meet.”

The crowd chuckled as Kai paused, reading the room. “Seriously though, I brought them here today as a little treat for all of you. I can’t keep letting everyone think they’re these cool, collected guys. Come on out, you guys.”

Kai gestured to the left side of the stage, and from the wings, four stunning boys emerged. He wasn’t exaggerating—Stray Kids were probably the most beautiful group of friends I’d ever seen. Each of them had such distinct looks, but all of them radiated something magnetic. It felt unfair. Men weren’t supposed to be prettier than women.

“Hello, everyone! Helloooooo, Kai!” Felix called out, bounding straight over to Kai and wrapping his arms around him. I had seen pictures of Felix from Kai before, but seeing him in person was something else. I glanced over at Sasha, who looked just as awestruck as I felt.

“We thought it would be fun to perform the song live for you all. What do you think? Wanna hear it?” one of the other members asked, his voice smooth. I didn’t know his name, but he had strong-looking arms, pretty lips, and was dressed in a tight tank top, an open button-down shirt, and jean shorts. He was just as pretty as Felix, and I had to force myself to look away before I started mentally objectifying him. These boys probably dealt with that far too often. The last thing I wanted was to be another fan who did the same.

I can’t lie, I envied their looks. But I definitely didn’t envy their lack of privacy. Fame, especially at that level, had a way of stripping away the parts of yourself you’d want to keep hidden, and fans felt so entitled to you.

We were ushered off the stage to seats in the front row. As I settled in, I found myself glancing at the pretty one again, curiosity got the better of me. Leaning over to Kai, I whispered, “The one in the tank top—who is he?”

Kai raised his eyebrows, and I rolled my eyes in response. “That’s Chris. He goes by Chan or Bangchan. He’s the leader of the band.”

I turned to Sasha, ready to ask if she thought he was cute too, but her gaze was locked on the youngest-looking member of the group. His long auburn hair had a fox-like quality, and even his features were sharp, mischievous, and yet delicate. Sasha’s mouth hung slightly open, so I reached out and gently pushed her jaw shut.

She blinked and blushed, glancing at me sheepishly. “I was going to ask if you thought he was cute, but it looks like you’ve already found your type,” I teased, giggling into her ear.

She swatted my arm. “I’ve heard a song by him before, but he looked so much younger back then. He really, uh… grew into his features.”

I leaned toward Kai again, pointing at the one with the fox-like features. “What about him?”

Kai didn’t look at me—he glanced over at Sasha, who was still staring. He snorted softly. “That’s Jeongin, but most people call him I.N. And before you ask, the last one is Seungmin. He and I.N. are the main vocals of the group, but honestly, all of them are ridiculously talented. There are four other members who also sing on the track, but they couldn’t make it today. These guys will cover their parts.”

Just as he finished, the boys started moving into position on stage. The lights dimmed, casting a soft glow, and then Felix’s deep voice filled the room as the song began.

“In the shadows they awake, casting fear into the night. Monsters born from twisted magic, haunting dreams and stealing light. A fire burns within, forged from bonds we hold. Witches across the ages, we stand ready for the fight.”

My god, his voice rivaled Kai’s. Then Bangchan took center stage.

“When the darkness tries to break us, and the world begins to fall, we’ll be stronger, side by side. We will answer this call.”

Listening to him sing gave me chills. His voice was powerful, commanding, all the while filled with warmth. After his verse ended, Seungmin and I.N came in together, harmonizing as their voices blended like paint on a canvas. It was ethereal—nothing short of magical.

“We rise together, hearts aligned, we'll face the storm, through the night, our magic shines, a new world to be born. No more fear, no more pain, we’ll drive the shadows away. In this fight, we lead with heart, come what may.”

The song was perfect, and they were perfect, and I hated it. As the last note echoed through the room, the audience erupted in cheers, clapping, and screams. If the applause for us had been loud, this was absolutely deafening.

Danni stood from her chair, holding up her hands to shush the crowd. “It’s always lovely when you experience something and just know you’ve made the right choice. I hope you all enjoyed the panel, and thank you, Stray Kids, for working with us. Everyone, please get home safe, okay? Oh, and keep your eyes out this Friday—I might accidentally release two new chapters instead of one. Seriously, be safe!”

The crowd began to disperse, buzzing with excitement as people filtered out of the auditorium. The members of Stray Kids waved goodbye and started heading backstage. Kai chased after Felix, who giggled like a child and playfully darted away from him. Watching them together was adorable. Yes, Kai was naturally bubbly, but something about him when Felix was around was different. His smile wasn’t just for show; it was real, genuine, and filled with joy.

A strange feeling spread through me as I watched them. I desperately hoped that Felix was one of the good ones but I doubted it—it was too rare a find in this world of fame.

Call it jealousy or simply my truth, but I cannot stand big celebrities. I had my fair share of them come into the Red Light Club. It was easier for them to get away with their sinful indulgence in a smaller area. Besides that when Mom and I were struggling in New York, we’d occasionally come across famous actors, models, influencers, and musicians. It wasn’t every day, but it happened whenever we ventured deeper into the city. Those kinds of people rarely hung around where we lived. Unless they came for the dances. They were too important to be seen in the slums, and honestly, I didn’t blame them. But I still couldn’t—and can’t—stand their lives. Something about millions of people struggling to eat while others spend thousands on a meal never sat right with me.

Another aspect I despised was the illusion of perfection surrounding them. Perfect jobs, perfect faces, perfect lives. But nothing is perfect about being a celebrity. Most of them are terrible people who wouldn’t bat an eye at others' suffering if it meant they could pocket a few extra dollars. They present the best versions of themselves, tricking the public into thinking they’re decent human beings. They aren’t. They fake kindness. They fake being ’one of us.’ Once you reach a certain level of fame and wealth, you lose touch with what it means to be human. Everything becomes luxury, and they forget what it’s like to live without it.

Kai and I have gotten into screaming matches about this on a few nights out drinking. He’d argue I was being cynical, and I’d insist that he’ll never see the truth. Felix might be good to Kai, but would he go out of his way to help someone in need? Does he possess basic empathy? Probably not. But at least he makes Kai happy. He’s good to him, even if he’s not good in general. Despite my strong opinions, I had promised Kai I’d be civil, to treat them like I would my friends. But they aren’t my friends, and I doubt they ever could be. They don’t understand what I’ve been through, and it’s not their fault—but how could I possibly get close to people who’ll never get it?

I put aside my bitter thoughts and walked past the curtain into the wing of the stage. Off to the left was a walkway to the green room, a cozy space with three nice couches, a coffee table, and a TV showing the stage. The four members of Stray Kids were lounging on the couches, while Kai sat on the floor across from them. From the bits of conversation I caught, they were talking about the crowd’s energy.

“—seriously! I thought you were gonna forget to call us onstage, man,” laughed Bangchan.

“He’s soooo jealous of me, hyung. Didn’t want his fans switching up on him,” said Felix.

“Oi, come here, you cunt,” Kai lunged at Felix, putting him in a headlock. Felix immediately pretended to pass out, going limp in Kai’s arms.

“Careful, Kai, you’ll have a lot of angry people if you kill him,” I teased.

“Forget prison time—you wouldn’t last a day before their fans got you,” added Sasha.

“You two sound like Mum, always ruining my fun,” Kai groaned, letting Felix go. Felix stuck his tongue out at him and gave a cheeky wink, leaning back into the couch while Bangchan reached out to rest his hands on Felix’s shoulders.

“So, what did you guys think? Did we do the show justice?” Felix asked, looking between Sasha and me.

“You did. You two,” I pointed to Jeongin and Seungmin, “gave everyone chills when you sang together. It really captured the fantastical side of Academy of Witches.”

“You two? Wait, Kai, do they not know who we are?” Jeongin asked, incredulous.

“I briefly mentioned your names about 15 minutes ago, so technically yes.”

“What! Just now you told them our names? Are you embarrassed of us?” Felix pouted.

“Yes, absolutely I am. And hey, it’s not my fault, mate—they just never asked,” Kai replied.

“Do you know anything about Stray Kids? Either of you?” asked Bangchan.

“Nope,” I said flatly.

Sasha, however, had a red tint to her cheeks. “Well… I know a single song because of my sister.”

“Is it God’s Menu? It's always God’s Menu,” Seungmin joked.

“Um… no,” Sasha laughed awkwardly. “It’s Maknae on Top.”

Jeongin’s eyes widened in horror as the other three boys burst into loud laughter.

“No way. There’s no way!” Felix cried, wiping away tears as he laughed harder.

Bangchan and Seungmin were clutching each other, trying to calm down, but every time they looked at each other, they just laughed harder. Jeongin, meanwhile, buried his face in a pillow, mortified.

"Okay, I have to know—what's so funny about this song?" I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.

Kai giggled. "Maknae on Top is a joke song they produced."

“It’s really catchy, to be fair!” Sasha defended.

Jeongin groaned into his pillow as the other boys finally caught their breath.

“I can’t wait to tell Minho hyung about this,” Seungmin added with a grin.

Just then, Claire and Collete emerged from the women's dressing room. They had clearly freshened up, with new makeup and comfortable, yet cute, outfits. I lowered my head slightly, hiding a knowing smile. Claire and Collete were good friends of mine, too. Since we were all cast together, we spent a lot of time hanging out. They were nice girls, and while I hadn't yet felt comfortable enough to open up to them completely, I did enjoy their company. In time, I thought, maybe I’d grow closer to them.

Although I didn’t share much about myself, they were open about their lives. Vanity played a big part in their world, which usually would put me off, but they never flaunted it. They just liked material things. Coming from wealthy families, it made sense for them to wear designer brands and the latest makeup.

When Kai told us about inviting Stray Kids to the panel, Claire and Collete had been ecstatic. Both were long-time fans, having followed the band since their debut on the survival show. It was no surprise they took extra time in the dressing room to change. What silly, vain girls. Boys like these could tear them apart, but if anyone could handle it, it’d be Claire and Collete.

"Hi!" Claire chirped. "It’s so nice to meet you guys—I’ve been a fan for so long."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bangchan’s smile falter. He chewed the inside of his cheek as the girls introduced themselves.

“Yeah, same! I’ve been following since Hellevator. It’s crazy to be in the same room as you,” Collete added enthusiastically.

Felix smiled back, but it felt practiced, the kind of forced, public smile I’d warned Kai about. I wondered if he saw it, too.

"You too,” Felix responded politely. “We were actually just talking to…” he trailed off, glancing between us and Kai, clearly unsure of our names.

“Sasha,” Jeongin chimed in, looking at her with a warm smile that made her flush immediately. “And Solana, right?”

“Wow, Lix. You don’t remember your best friend’s best friends’ names?” teased Seungmin.

“Hey! I just wasn’t sure which was which! Kai never shows us pictures of them!” Felix protested.

“Yeah, because you’re men. Men cannot be trusted,” Kai retorted, deadpan.

“Amen, Kai,” I laughed, but my eyes were drawn to Bangchan, who was staring intently at the back of Felix’s head. His hands fidgeted with the back of Felix’s sweater, and he was bent slightly forward as if he needed the blonde boy to ground him. Maybe it was time to wrap things up and give them some space.

“Anyway, we’ve got an early recording in the morning, so we should probably—" I began, but Kai cut me off.

“No way you’re leaving already! My best friends are finally meeting,” he insisted.

I shot Sasha a look, silently asking for backup. She nodded in understanding.

“Lonnie’s right. We have to be in the studio at seven tomorrow, so we really should get going,” Sasha agreed.

“I bet we could ask Jiho to push back the recording,” Claire chimed in, derailing my plan. “They are pretty understanding about stuff like this.”

Damn her. I just wanted to go back to our dorm and relax. These boys probably needed the rest, too.

“Let me text them real quick,” Kai said, already pulling out his phone.

“Sorry, you two, but I can’t let you leave yet. There’s no way the only thing you know about us is Maknae on Top, Sasha. You’ve gotta let me show you some of our other songs,” Felix begged.

Collete laughed, “Wait, you only know one of their songs?”

“I thought it was good!” Sasha defended again.

“Well, duh. All of their songs are good,” Collete replied.

I couldn’t help but notice Bangchan’s reaction. He scrunched his face when Collete said that, a clear sign of discomfort.

“Seriously though, come over! Let’s hang out for a bit. I’d love to hear the secrets of the show, and I’ll make sure to play you some better songs,” Felix smiled, trying to disarm with his charm. I wondered how long it took him to master speaking so casually with people who were so unlike him.

Bangchan’s grip on Felix’s shoulders tightened. “Lix…”

“Please, hyung! We rarely get to do stuff like this. It’s been ages since Kai’s been able to come over.”

“I don’t want to intrude, mate. We can grab coffee another time,” Kai said, clearly aware of the tension.

The two girls, however, were giving Bangchan puppy-dog eyes. Someone needed to step in for him.

“I’m sure you guys are busy, too. Don’t let us take up your free time,” I added, hoping to offer him an out.

“No. No, it’s okay. Please, Chan. Just this once,” Felix pleaded.

“I already texted the others to check if it was alright,” Jeongin added.

“Innie! I didn’t even give the okay yet,” Bangchan sighed, rubbing his hand down his face.

“Hyuuung! Kai’s been talking about them for ages. Come on, just this once…” Jeongin pressed.

Bangchan closed his eyes in resignation. “What did the others say?”

“They didn’t mind,” Seungmin replied.

“And Jiho? Did they agree to move the schedule?” Bangchan asked.

Kai glanced at his phone. “Yeah, just got a text. We’re not needed until noon.”

Claire and Collete squealed in excitement. I half-expected Bangchan to use their reaction as an excuse to refuse, but despite his clear reluctance, he gave in.

“Yeah, okay. Just this once,” he relented.

I felt a pang of guilt. It was clear he didn’t want us there, and I suddenly wanted to bail. I didn’t belong here, pretending to be part of a world I’d never understand. It felt like the walls of the green room were closing in on me rapidly.

“Would you hate me if I said I’ll pass? I think it’s best if I head home,” I started, but Kai stood up and immediately began slowly walking towards me.

“Yep. All of us will hate you. Me included. Hate you soooo much,” he said, his tone mock-serious.

“Kai, stop it. If she wants to go, let her,” Sasha chimed in.

“Don’t be so boring, Solana! When are you ever going to get to hang out with idols again?” Collete teased. I don’t want to hang out with idols. That’s why I’m going home, I thought.

Kai was still inching toward me, then finally picked up the pace at the end and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Would you hate me if I said I’m forcing you to go?” he teased.

I rolled my eyes and shot a look at Sasha, hoping for backup, but she was covering her mouth to hide a wide smile.

“Yep. Hate you soooo much,” I mimicked, making Felix laugh.

“Solana, I promise if you don’t have fun, I’ll buy you coffee for a week,” Felix offered with a playful grin. Typical rich boy.

“I’m more of a tea girl.”

“Then all the tea you can drink for a week,” he said, giving me puppy-dog eyes that made my cheeks warm. Kai, still swaying us both, was determined to drag me there no matter what I said.

“Okay,” I sighed.

“Woo!” He cheered.

“Kai, do you need our address, or do you still have it? You’ll have to take your own car. We can’t all fit in ours,” Bangchan mentioned.

“We’ve got room for two, Channie,” Jeongin offered, and Bangchan narrowed his eyes at him.

“I’ve got it, mate. No worries, we’ll figure it out,” Kai said, finally letting me go.

“If you’ve got room for two, could Collete and I join you?” Claire asked.

It was obvious Bangchan wanted to say no, but politeness won out. “Sure,” he replied.

Felix stood up and walked over to Kai. “Mind if I join you three? It’s a half-hour drive, and I’d love to get to know you both better,” Felix asked. If it weren’t for his status, I would have thought Felix was just a kind, outgoing guy. But I couldn’t shake the sense that his charm was part of his celebrity persona. Why was he so eager to get to know us?

“You can give me the rundown on why Maknae on Top is a joke,” Sasha laughed.

“Oh honey, we’ll need more than thirty minutes,” Felix teased, making Sasha smile at his quick wit.

“All right, children, let’s get going. We need to get home before Solana withers away to old age,” Kai called out, and I gave him my signature don’t-test-me look, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ll put you in the corner and make you count to five hundred for that, Kai,” I said.

“No! You wouldn’t!” Kai pouted dramatically.

I swatted his bum lightly. “You’re lucky that’s all I’m doing.”

“Ooooh, I like this side of Solana,” Felix chimed in while tossing me an exaggerated wink. Was he flirting with me? No way.

“Unfortunately, it’s the only time you’ll see it. Sorry,” I retorted.

“Lonnie, you’re such a brat,” Sasha laughed.

Kai started to head toward the door, dragging Felix along, and Sasha followed before pausing to look back at me. I hadn’t moved.

“It’s okay, Lonnie. It’s just one night, yeah? You won’t see these guys again,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s the problem, Sash. I hate friendships that feel fake.”

“Then it’s not a friendship. Just us meeting Kai’s friends. Nothing has to come of it.”

“You’re right. This isn’t about me. I should do it for Kai.”

“Atta girl. And if not for Kai, do it for me. There’s no way I can sit in a room with them without you,” Sasha laughed.

“You could.”

“Could not.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“Why do you have such a high view of me? I don’t see what you see.”

“Exactly. If you won’t see yourself in a good light, I have to. You’re phenomenal, Sash. I’m serious. If I didn’t go tonight, you’d be fine. You always are.”

“Lonnie, you put too much faith in me. I don’t—"

“Could you two be any slower? Come on, come on! We’re gonna miss our taxi!” Kai interrupted, poking his head back into the greenroom.

There was no escaping it. I needed to do this for Kai. He had been nothing but supportive since I’d been in Korea, and I couldn’t deprive him of this night. He had always talked about wanting his two worlds to meet, and I couldn’t say no. No matter my history with celebrities, I wouldn’t let it get in the way of Kai’s happiness. One night. Just one night, I told myself.

Written by Stay! <3

I love writing the boys.

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wool-f · 1 year ago

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29 Lessons from 29 years of living

Hello friends,

I’ve spent a little while contemplating on whether or not to create a blog post for this but I figured there is no harm in it, and maybe someone will take something from this the way that I take lessons from other peoples’ confessions.

I have spent 29 years on this earth so far and only very recently have I started writing myself letters on my birthday, listing all the things that I’ve learnt in the year prior.

Like most other things I post about on this blog, I’ve made a YouTube video talking about this year’s list and the reasons behind each lesson, which you can watch here, but if you prefer to read through lists and come back to them later etc, like I often do, please continue reading and let me know in the comments if you are going to take on any of the lessons I’ve learnt myself, or if you’re going to start making your own list! I’d love to hear your lessons.

29 Lessons from 29 years of living:

1. I am truly capable of creating any life or manifesting any opportunity I want.

2. I should take as good care of my health as possible.

3. Always try to learn something from any given situation.

4. Sometimes, things are just shit and can’t be turned into a learning experience.

5. Not all friendships are meant to last, no matter how badly you want them to.

6. Let go of people who make you feel like shit.

7. Don’t lower your standards - let the good people come to you, they will.

8. Trust you intuition! It never ever misses.

9. Read the book, watch the movie and rest when you need it. Enjoyment isn’t always productive.

10. Never get tired of going to things by yourself - that’s when you have the most fun.

11. Drink water - as much as you can.

12. Always wear sunscreen - it’s the reason people are looking younger and younger!

13. Journalling helps your mental health - keep this habit up.

14. Moving your body at least once a day and preferably in the morning makes you so much happier.

15. Keep trying to learn that second or third language - your brain works better because of it.

16. You are lucky - even when you don’t feel like it.

17. One walk a day is an act of rebellion against productivity and capitalism! (Read Sarah Wilson’s This one wild and precious life to understand this one)

18. Look around you - take stock of the beautiful world we are in - look up from your phone!!

19. Don’t get caught up in what other people think of you - if you’re happy and not hurting anyone, fuck what anyone else thinks.

20. Some people don’t deserve your forgiveness, your time or your energy.

21. The love you’ve given others they they haven’t returned is never wasted.

22. Believe that love is out there - you give it to yourself everyday.

23. Finding time to be creative is an essential part of your happiness.

24. Sometimes you can keep a little secret for yourself - it’s fun!

25. Always looking for a silver lining isn’t weakness - finding a light in the dark is strength.

26. Meditation is important - it makes you kinder.

27. If you want to do something, jump at it without hesitation - we only have only life, and it truly isn’t that long.

28. Find beauty and fun in the small moments in life - the mundane can be the best parts.

29. Never stop believing that a dream can become reality - what is meant for you will never pass you by and if you’ve imagined it, it is meant to be yours.

If you’ve gotten to the bottom of this post, thank you for taking the time to read my words and thoughts - these are deeply personal to me, but if you’ve gotten anything from them, I’m glad.

I hope wherever you are and whoever you are, that you’re having a wonderful day and being your truest and most authentic self.

Be kind to your self and others.

See you in the next post!

Gxx

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sleezeboss · 2 years ago

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2022 Art Summary and Thoughts

stealing this from a mutual- just wanted to reflect on the art I’ve made this year, what I’ve learned, and where I’d like to see myself go from here.

The end of the year is weird for me, artistically. I always slow down with art and get really immersed in family, holidays, and my life outside of art. And because I’m not cranking out art 7 days a week, it skews my view of my output and self worth, and it makes me end the year feeling like I’ve quit art, like I haven’t made anything, like it’s time to hang up my hat and move on or something.

But! When I stop being dramatic for like 5 seconds, I can see that that’s not true at ALL, and in actuality, in the last year, I’ve made some incredibly profound strides with my art that I am so excited to carry into the next year.

I’m hoping that sitting down and contemplating these strides will help solidify them and make them more tangible to me.

So let’s dive in!

At the beginning of 2022, I had a LOT of fun reacquainting myself with Ren and Stimpy. I started rewatching it on a whim while working out one day, having not watched the show since I was.... 6? and was instantly transported to a world of inspiration and love for my art and art-making that I hadn’t experienced for some time. The expressions, dynamism, and sheer energy of that show reminded me a lot about what I love most about my art. I felt encouraged to pursue my strengths, rather than constantly focusing on what I need to improve or need to change about my art. And I felt it blossom. I made some pieces I really loved in 2022, and I hope to continue with that energy and love for my own work that keeps art-making enjoyable and meditative for me.

These were all expression studies of screencaps from Ren and Stimpy episodes. I got ADDICTED to seeing my boys with these big, bold expressions.

This is the screenshot that kicked it all off lmao. This unlocked something so crazy in me.

This was me taking a stab at pulling expressions from my head, no reference.

After that, during the summer, I took a 6 week animation course through Animation Mentor, an online school. I loved it so much, that as soon as it finished, I immediately signed up for a second course that started not even 2 weeks after. Not to be dramatic, but no joke? For the first time in my artistic journey, I felt capable and confident about animating. It was the first time in my life that 2D animation was actually presented to me in an accessible (and achievable!!) manner. I have ALWAYS struggled with animating. I love it so much! I am a cartoon fanatic and Disney animation enthusiast at heart, and to love something so deeply and to only be mediocre at it at best can really be hurtful and demoralizing, but! These two animation courses really helped rewrite that narrative for me.

This was my second-to-last assignment, the floursack test.

This was my final assignment for my first course, 2D animation for beginners. A head-turn.

Moving into the new year, I would really like to see myself animate more. Making several small, 2-3 second animations and getting the practice in, building up a personal portfolio of animation is something I really want to see for myself. I want to see my characters live and breath, god damnit!!

Animating inspired me to make some style guides for my boys, rather than ref-sheets. I think ref sheets can become outdated quickly as your style adapts and changes, but a style guide, one typically used by animators, is a great guideline for keeping characters consistent. I thought that would be very useful for me, so I made one for Rex and Bub, naturally.

In the fall, I finally finished a mini comic I had started earlier in the year, Belphi’s New Pussy.

(cropped for NSFW material)

Comic-making was admittedly hard for me last year. I think graduating from my iPad to a new tablet set-up and learning CSP from scratch really shook my artistic confidence and motivation for comic making. All last year, I was beating myself up about not working on chapter 5 of Badbeat, so I am amazed and proud that I was able to get BNP out. Not only did I get it out, but it ended up being one of the most successful posts of my twitter career lmao. I’m really happy with how it looks, but I think it’s becoming clear to me that that level of comic polish is not sustainable for more than 1 chapter a year. If I want to finish Badbeat in my life time, I’m gonna need to simplify my process. Maybe even keep it to my iPad. Something about drawing and sketching is easier on my iPad, whereas the actual comic formatting can be done in CSP. I’m obviously still trying to learn my optimal workflow for efficiency, speed, and sanity haha.

In the comic year, I really would like to get chapter 5 out. That is my comic goal for the new year.

All and all, it has been a really productive year artistically. I feel like quantity-wise I have produced less than maybe the year prior, but I think the things I DID produce have been profound. Pushing Bub and Rex’s designs and expressions has been profound. Taking the steps to learn animation has been profound. Making a comic entirely in a new program that I have owned for less than a year is profound.

I am very proud of myself and can’t wait to see what the new year has in store!

#2022 art wrap #2022 art summary #blog #art blogging

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banannabethchase · 1 year ago

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Steady Love - also on AO3

Adam, with Nick as his roommate, starts off his sophomore year of college with a crush, actual friends and a whole lot of shenanigans. He ends it with, somehow, more.

Welcome to my 300th fic on AO3! I decided to combine elements of my 1st, 100th, and 200th fic on AO3 to create this one, and thus, a college AU involving 5 of my all time favorite ships across 3 of my most special fandoms. I hope you enjoy this continuation of The Rumor of Us for those of us who remember me from back then, and the continuation of the Quintis College AU I briefly wrote. Title from Look After You by The Fray, one of my all time favorite romantic songs.

“Page!”

Adam turns to see Nick throwing the basketball at him. He catches it and dribbles around the other team’s defense, which isn’t that impressive knowing who the defense is, and shoots.

The ball bounces off the rim and toward Nick, who makes the save and a three pointer.

“Yes!” Nick yells, dropping to his knees with his fists in the air. “I’m the effing king of this!”

Adam walks over and shoves Nick to the side with his foot. “Lucky shot,” Adam says, grinning down at him.

“Was not!” Nick scrambles to his feet. “I’ve been practicing my three pointers all summer.” He nudges Adam in the shoulder. “Anyway, we’re basically out of time for the gym. We only booked an hour.”

Adam checks the time on his phone. “Damn it,” he mutters.

“Are we done or something?” Toby asks. “Please say we’re done.”

“Wimp,” Happy says, grinning. “You don’t have to play next time, you know. I think I’d do better if you weren’t on my team”

“I do have to play!” Toby says, scrambling after Happy as she steps toward her bag on the side of the court. Adam’s kind of baffled he missed the insult entirely. “I have to make sure you don’t get yourself killed.”

“Toby, let’s be real here,” Happy says. “The only reason I play basketball is because you made me socialize with people other than you and the rest of the Cyclone, and you decided your roommate’s weird brother was the right call. You’re just mad I’m doing better with these friends than you are.”

Toby pouts. “Hey!”

“And I am not the weird one here,” Nick says.

“Bye, y’all,” Happy says, grinning over her shoulder. “C’mon, Curtis, to the showers.”

Adam rolls his eyes as Toby’s pout turns into unshielded excitement. They scamper away.

“They’re really weird,” Adam muses, dribbling the ball absently. “I like them.”

“Right?” Nick says. “Toby’s a TA, but he’s our age. He skipped a bunch of grades.”

“That explains some of the,” Adam shoots the ball and misses, pausing to find the right words, “socially awkward moments.”

“No kidding,” Nick says. He chases after the ball and chucks it back at Adam, who manages to make the three pointer this time. “There you go, dude. I knew you could do it.”

“It’s because he’s tall.”

Adam turns at a voice that makes his entire body light up. “Matt!” he says, trying to hold back before getting too weird. “Hi.”

Nick glances over at his brother. “What the eff are you doing here?” he asks, bouncing the ball. Adam fights the urge to tell him to shut up.

“You always make fun of me for not being able to play,” Matt says. He looks incredible; Adam’s never seen him in basketball shorts and a tank top. “So I figured I’d come and learn from the self-proclaimed best this year.”

Nick rolls his eyes. “You have awful timing. We only rented the court until five.”

Matt shrugs. “So, like, rent another hour?”

“That’s not how it works.” Nick belts Matt with the basketball, and Adam is impressed that Matt at least can catch it. He doesn’t dribble though. He just holds it in his hands. “Somebody else will have rented it out.”

“We could ask to share,” Matt says. With a quick flick of his eyes, he chucks the ball in Adam’s direction. Adam has to jump a little, feeling his shirt fly up as he does do, but he manages to catch the ball.

“You can’t – Matt, go away.”

“No!” Adam says. Matt and Nick look at him. “I mean, we could go to the outdoor hoops, right?”

“It’s ninety seven degrees outside,” Nick deadpans. “Let’s just go do something else.”

“Can I shower first?” Adam asks, wrinkling his nose. “I’m all gross.”

“I’m sure you’re fine,” Matt says, waving him off. “Dining hall should be serving dinner by now.”

“It’s five o’clock,” Nick says. “We – really?”

Matt shrugs. “I’m hungry.”

“Me, too,” Adam adds.

Nick sighs. “Whatever. Fine. Dinner.”

“I hope they have the pasta bar this time,” Matt says. And Adam knows, in that moment, with that smile Matt throws him, he’s doomed.

Matt flounces off to the pasta bar, almost skipping.

“Dude,” Nick says, elbowing Adam. “What is your deal?”

“Deal?” Adam asks, trying to keep himself from blushing. “There’s no deal. I’m – why?”

Nick stares at him. “You’ve hung out with Matt before and never been this twitchy.” He study’s Adam’s face. “Do you have a crush on my brother?”

“No.”

Nick’s expression goes from curious to annoyed. “You have a crush on my brother,” he says, definitively. “Oh, my god.”

“I – don’t!” Adam says. “And shush.”

“If you don’t have a crush on him, then I can say it as loud as I want.”

“No!” Adam says. “Damn it. Just – don’t tell him.”

“Are you gonna tell him?” Nick asks.

Adam presses his lips together and shrugs. “Maybe? I don’t know. I don’t…yeah.”

Nick sighs so deeply his shoulders slump. “If you make him cry, I have to kill you, you know that, right?”

“What?” Adam asks. “I’m your roommate!”

“Roommate and friend always comes second to brother,” Nick says, shrugging. “It’s biological. I am genetically wired to care about that dumbass.”

They look over, where Matt is very possibly flirting with the cook making the pasta, from the way he’s smiling and leaning against the counter. Adam can’t decide if he’s jealous or distracted by how good Matt’s butt looks in his shorts.

“Believe me,” Nick says, grabbing a slice of pizza, “I am the most annoyed about it.”

They grab some extra fruit and vegetables, because Adam’s mom’s voice is always in his head, and they find a small table near the hydroponics station.

“You ever get tempted to, like, grab a leaf of lettuce off of there and eat it?” Nick asks, shoving half the slice of pizza in his mouth.

Adam blinks. “No, but I am sort of fascinated at your impulse to eat public leaves.”

“They’re not public leaves!” Nick scoffs. “It’s lettuce grown by the college, and I pay tuition, so they are my leaves.”

Adam nearly stops breathing when Matt sits down next to him, like he doesn’t care Adam’s covered in sweat and his hair is a wreck. His heart is racing as Matt flashes him a smile.

“The pasta guy is really nice,” Matt says, mixing what appears to be something with vegetables and pesto. He shoves a giant forkful in his mouth and makes a face so pleased Adam has to turn away and take an unreasonably huge bite of pizza. “And he gave me extra pesto.”

“Yeah, because you were flirting with him,” Nick says, rolling his eyes. “God, you’re worse than Piper at that one party.”

“Am not!” Matt argues.

“The one when she stole all that toilet paper last year?” Adam asks, once he’s swallowed the pizza. “That was hilarious.”

“I was not flirting with him,” Matt says, and Adam doesn’t miss the way he flicks his eyes toward him. “Shut up. Eat your pizza, Nick.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!”

Adam snickers as the two of them bicker back and forth, finishing most of his plate before they get under control. Matt’s got his lower lip stuck out, Nick’s glaring, and Adam, mostly, is entertained.

“Are you two done?” he asks, because he wants to know what happens next.

By the start of September, Matt’s been to every single basketball court hour that they’ve had, and Adam is…technically handling it. The amount of times Matt has pulled off his shirt mid-game and Adam either missed a pass or immediately fell over is in the double digits.

He’s regaling his friends in class with the most recent story of Matt making a moaning noise during stretching when Annabeth and Piper both begin laughing at him mid-lecture, which feels excessive.

“Oh you legit like him,” Piper says, with a sharkish grin. “Pro tip? Act on it now. Otherwise you’re fucked like me and Reyna for the first semester of school.”

“Based on what I’ve heard before I’ve knocked,” Annabeth says, flipping to the right page in her notes, “nobody fucks like the two of you, but okay.”

Adam laughs as Piper rolls her eyes and slumps into her seat. “You all suck,” she grumbles.

They pass notes and tease each other through the lecture, which Adam would feel bad about but he scored a 95% on the first anthropology test and was only outscored by Annabeth, so he figures he’s fine.

Annabeth pokes him in the ribs when he snickers at a sex joke Piper makes.

“They’re going to hear you,” Annabeth says, scrolling her phone with one hand and taking notes with the other. “He’s not even using a mic now. And I really don’t want to get yelled at.”

“You’re on your phone looking up – oh, my god.” Adam leans back. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t see you putting lingerie in your cart.”

Annabeth smirks and shrugs. “Don’t look at my phone screen next time.”

By the time class is over, Adam knows he’ll be begging Annabeth for a copy of her notes, but he’s in good spirits to go for their basketball time.

“I gotta go,” he says, smiling at the two of them. “Basketball hour, you know.”

Piper immediately starts making kissy faces.

“It’s just basketball!” Adam says, suddenly wishing his hair was down to cover his likely pink ears. “He needs help with it.”

“You know what he needs?” Piper says, grinning.

“Don’t say it,” Annabeth says. “It’s a cheap joke.”

“He needs your dick.”

Annabeth and Adam sigh in tandem while Piper cackles.

“One of these days I’m going to tell on you to Reyna,” Annabeth grumbles.

“About what?”

“Bad sex jokes,” Adam offers. “Making fun of me.”

Piper scoffs. “She likes it when I do that. Reyna loves my stupid jokes.”

“Yeah, if you guys do go abroad,” Annabeth asks, adjusting her backpack on her shoulder, “you’ll have to learn a whole new language to make sex jokes in.”

Piper wrinkles her nose. “Reyna really wants to, but I’m not sure. She’s looking at France.”

“I’m sure there’s sex jokes in French,” Adam says, shoving his books in his backpacks. “Or you could just say ‘oui oui’ all the time and look like a dork.”

“Coming from you, that’s great.” Piper hits him on the arm with her notebook, grinning. “Go play homoerotic sports with your future boyfriend.”

The first set of tests by the second week of September hit, and Adam realizes he has a little collection of friends that makes him feel cozy, but a bit confused. He’s not exactly sure when his and Nick’s dorm room became the place where everybody hangs out, but he keeps trying to hide things like his teddy bear and his dirty clothes while Kenny and Piper try to kill each other in Street Fighter.

What’s even more difficult to manage, though, is Matt, sitting right next to him. On his bed. While Nick keeps glancing at him. Adam thinks that’s silly, because Happy and Toby are quite literally making out on top of his desk.

“Where’s Annabeth?” Reyna asks, yawning. “She and I have that Chem lab in the morning and I really want to go over our methodology.”

“Lame,” Piper says, twisting the controller and immediately killing Kenny’s character. Adam thinks that’s impressive, based on Kenny’s shriek of horror. “She and Percy are out on a date. She’ll be back soon.”

Reyna sighs. “She forgot to tell me. Jerk.”

“That’s because I was supposed to tell you, and I forgot, because I’m beating this wimp’s ass at every video game possible,” Piper says. She claps Kenny on the shoulder. “Actually, victory makes me horny. Reyna?”

Reyna snorts, but she jumps to her feet. “Why did I expect anything else?”

Piper throws a grin over her shoulder, short blue hair flying everywhere. “Later, nerds.”

Kenny’s still staring at the screen, open mouthed and miserable. “She beat me,” he says, horrified. He turns to Nick. “Why’d you – I brought my console here just so she could beat me?!”

“Piper’s weird, man,” Happy says, shrugging as she pulls away from Toby. Toby still looks super dazed. “Blame Adam. He’s the one who became best friends with her first or whatever.”

“Hey!” Adam says. He’s still trying to deal with the fact that Matt is pressed up against him. “She’s your friend, too.”

“That is beside the point,” Nick says, sliding to the floor. “Scoot over, Kenny. You can beat me.”

“It’s not the same if you let me beat you,” Kenny grumbles. “But, since you suck, I’d beat you anyway.” He hands Nick the controller.

“Hey, Hap?” Toby says, playing with the edge of her tee shirt. Adam rolls his eyes, meeting Matt’s in a knowing grin.

“What?”

“Your roommate’s out, right?”

She snickers. “God, you’re predictable.” She waves at them. “Later, everybody.”

The room is quieter, less intense now that it’s only the four of them, and Adam can feel Matt relax into his side. Nick and Kenny are fervently battling each other. Adam feels like this is a good moment. For what, he’s not sure.

“So,” Adam says, picking at a frayed end on the hem of his shirt. “How’re classes going for you?”

“Great!” Matt says, sending that megawatt smile in Adam’s direction. “Well. Pretty good, at least.”

“Only pretty good?” Adam asks.

“Yeah, math is kicking my butt,” Matt says, sighing. “I’m an ed major, so I have to take a class on how to teach math, which would probably be fine if I could memorize all the stupid vocabulary words.”

“I, um. I can tutor you, if you want.”

Matt turns to him. “You can?”

Adam nods. “I had a whole business in high school about it, but you’re my friend so I wouldn’t charge.” He smiles. “That sound good?”

Matt nods so hard his ponytail slips out. “Yeah!”

Adam leans behind.

“What are you doing?” Matt asks. He’s still smiling, though, so Adam thinks he’s in the clear.

“Oh,” Adam says, picking up the hair tie. “This fell out when you were nodding.”

Matt flushes the cutest pink Adam’s ever seen. “Thanks,” he says. Adam watches, probably too closely, as Matt ties his hair back up.

“So, um, how about tomorrow morning?” Adam asks. When he rests his hand on the bed next to Matt’s, the dip of the mattress makes his hand slide on top of Matt’s. Neither of them move. “For tutoring, I mean.”

Matt nods. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Nick flicks his gaze over at Matt and Adam, frowns, and opens his mouth. But Kenny’s screaming in victory before he can say anything.

“Oh, that’s how it goes, baby!” Kenny yells. “Victory doesn’t make me horny, but it does make me hungry. Anybody want to go pick up pizza?”

They do. They get pizza and sodas and bring them back to the dorm room. Kenny and Nick hang in Nick’s bed while Matt’s with Adam on his.

Adam feels like he may just combust.

They put on Five Nights at Freddy’s, which Kenny insists will be good because of the game it’s based on, but Adam’s a little hesitant.

“They’re giant toys, Kenny,” Adam says. “How could they possibly be scary?”

An hour later, Adam is more than pleased that it’s actually scary, because Matt’s buried his face into Adam’s chest and is halfway in his lap. He exchanges a glance with Nick. And gets a smile back.

Kenny and Matt sleep over. And Adam thinks this might be what college is supposed to feel like.

Matt and Kenny leave after they get breakfast in the morning, but Matt reminds Adam of their tutoring date before he leaves.

“I’ll stop by around one?” Matt asks. “You know. Since we slept in.”

Adam nods. “Yeah, I gotta shower.”

Matt makes an interesting face, pressing his lips together. “Okay.”

Nick grabs his arm and yanks. “Dude!”

“What?!”

“You are in love with my brother.”

“Am not!”

Nick yanks harder.

“Ow!”

“You like him,” Nick says. “You like Matt. I know how weird you are about your bed, and you let him sleep on your pillow.”

Adam frowns. “I’m not weird about my bed.”

“You have to remake it every time you sit on it funny and you change the pillow case every time somebody touches it.”

Adam stops in his tracks and turns to Nick. “You noticed that?”

“Of course I did,” says Nick. “You’re my friend. It’s why I tell people, usually, to stay off your side of the room and not to touch your folders on your desk. But Matt walked in there and sat down, and you didn’t even react.”

Adam opens his mouth, but then steps forward and grabs Nick in a tight hug. “Nobody’s ever noticed that and been nice about it before,” he says, words muffled by Nick’s shoulder.

“Course, man,” Nick says, patting him on the back. “You’re my best friend.”

Adam won’t let himself cry. “I am?”

Nick nods, like it’s the easiest thing to say, to believe. “You are.”

Adam exhales. “Even though I have a crush on your brother?”

“I knew it!”

Adam laughs and runs back to their dorm with Nick chasing him, feeling at home with a group of people for the first time ever.

Around 1:05, Nick’s left for reasons he won’t tell Adam, and he’s got the room to himself. Matt’s not technically late, he guesses, since he’d said around one. But the possible anxiety of being stood up triggers his need to clean and organize. He’s in the middle of putting away his last few books into his mini bookshelf when there’s a knock.

He stands and opens the door to see Matt, hair in a neat little half ponytail, smiling at him.

“How’d you get in?” Adam asks. “Um. I mean. Hi.”

Matt, miraculously, laughs. “The RA here knows me,” he says. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Adam moves so Matt can step by him, and his heart has never beat faster. Matt sits gently on the bed. There’s nothing in Adam that wants to move him or clean the sheets. It’s strange.

“I brought my homework,” Matt says, swinging his backpack to the floor. He pulls out a notebook and sets it on his lap, unopened.

Adam makes his way over to the bed and sits on his desk chair so he has a little extra space to set up on his bed. He shoves his glasses up his nose and forces himself not to look at Matt. “Um, so,” he says, clearing his throat. “Your class is kind of different than math that I take, since it’s learning how to teach math from it’s foundation. What are you stuck on?”

Matt blinks at him. “You know I don’t actually need help with math, right?”

Adam blinks and turns to Matt. “What?”

Matt’s smile is far too intriguing. “God, you’re cute.” Adam can hear his heart pound in his ears. “You – you’re smart, yeah, and I’m sure you could help me with everything. But I know the differences between subtrahends and addends and all that.” His eyes are too pretty under all those eyelashes. “I guess I wasn’t clear enough, but this was a ruse to hang out with you more.”

Adam’s mouth falls open as he looks at Matt, trying to process what all of it means. “You – hang out with me?”

“Without Nick, I mean,” Matt explains. “He always wants to tag along.” He turns to Adam. “This way we could have some time just us.”

“Just us?” Adam doesn’t know why he can only repeat the last thing Matt said. But Matt doesn’t seem fazed.

Matt nods, smiling. “I figured, after last night, you might like me too.”

Adam reaches out and rests a hand on Matt’s arm, trying to prove this is real and not a dream. Matt leans in and kisses Adam before he can process what’s about to happen. Matt’s lips are soft and warm against Adam’s, more than a dream. Adam almost falls over with how perfect it is. When Matt pulls back, his heart is racing and he can’t stop looking at Matt.

“Was that okay?” Matt asks. “I, like, have been trying not to want to kiss you for a really long time, and I almost did last night but Nick was there, and then you touched my arm and everything, so I figured –”

As much as Adam loves hearing Matt talk, he thinks he’s rambling and would appreciate being helped to quiet down. So Adam leans in and kisses Matt again, getting a cute little squeak of interest before he throws his arms around Adam’s neck. Adam breathes into it, leaning into Matt. He doesn’t know when he throws his arms around Matt’s waist, when he drags Matt into his lap, when Matt starts leaning into him, just that it’s happening.

Something about their combined weight is too much for the chair and it slides backward, the two of them falling to the floor. Matt giggles.

“Oops.”

“I think you broke my office chair,” Adam says, grinning up at Matt. “You are the worst person I’ve ever tutored, I think.”

“Am not!” says Matt, and Adam tries not to feel miserable at the lack of contact anymore. “Plus, it’s been, like, fifteen minutes, and it was a ruse I kissed you in the middle of, so that gives me bonus points.”

“I was going to tutor you the whole time,” Adam argues, and he adjusts his chair back up. It should be okay. “I just also wanted to kiss you.” He shrugs, leaning against his desk as Matt makes himself at home on his bed. “I was sort of worried the tutoring thing meant you didn’t think of me the same way.”

“Well, that’s just not true.” Matt stretches out in his bed, arms behind his head. Adam’s pretty sure he’ll have this image burned into his memory for the rest of his life. “I only started coming to basketball because Nick told me you were there.”

“So we have Nick to thank for this,” Adam says, grinning. He sits down on the bed, most of his weight still on his feet as he tries not to overstep Matt’s boundaries. “Good to know.”

“Adam?”

“Yeah?”

Matt’s grin goes a little devious. “If you want to come snuggle right now, it’s your bed. Or I can move. But you don’t have to sit so awkwardly in your own dorm room.”

Adam opens his mouth. “I – I’m not awkward.”

“You’re a little awkward, but it’s what I like about you.” Matt’s eyes are pretty and big, his smile honest. He scoots over and pats the side of the bed. “Come on. Forget math. Come snuggle.”

Adam carefully lowers himself into his bed next to Matt. They’re above the blankets, it’s the middle of the day, and Nick will probably be back from the gym any time now. It won’t go farther than either of them want.

When he settles, Matt turns over and cuddles into him. Adam automatically wraps his arm around Matt’s back and finally relaxes into the moment. “Hi,” he murmurs.

“Hi,” Matt says.

“Your hair smells nice.”

“Your sheets smell nice,” Matt says. It’s a sweet sentiment, but Matt’s face is shoved into Adam’s chest so he’s not sure how much of that sentence is real.

Adam doesn’t even know how to react. He’s spent weeks trying to get this moment to be anything near possible, and now it’s here in front of him. And he’s got no fucking idea what to do.

“Are you okay?” Matt asks. He scoots over, sitting up. “I’m going too intense, aren’t I.” Adam watches Matt curl up on himself. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not too intense!” Adam blurts out. Matt tilts his head to the side. “I’m just sort of freaking out a little bit. Not because of you. Because I’m…me.”

“Because you’re you?” Matt asks, and he scoots back over to Adam. “That’s why I’m here. Because you’re you.”

Adam turns around, finding himself nose to nose with Matt. “I like you because you’re you, too.”

Matt tilts his face and they kiss again, soft, gentle, and intentional. Adam feels warm and cozy. He lets himself reach up and rest his hand on Matt’s waist. Matt scoots closer to Adam and sighs, sending a thrill of exhilaration through Adam’s body. He angles his hips away, because he isn’t willing to screw this whole thing up, and keeps the kisses under control.

He doesn’t know how long it is, only that he wants this to last forever, with Matt curled up in his arms, his little giggles, their brief breaks to talk.

“So, does this mean we’re boyfriends?” Matt asks, red faced and hair mussed after a particularly enthusiastic make out. “Just to clarify.”

“I – I hope so,” Adam says, and he feels his face heat up. “I’d like to, I mean.”

“Good,” Matt says. “Then we’re boyfriends.” He leans in and kisses Adam again, and it feels like they could do this forever.

Forever in a college dorm is impossible, though, and the door swings open.

“Have you talked to Matt? He’s not answering my texts.”

Matt and Adam separate, and Adam freezes. “Um.”

Nick breaks into a giant grin. “Oh, damn,” he says. “I knew it. I knew it. Matt, you’re as subtle as a freight train.”

“Shut up, Nick,” Matt says, but he pulls Adams arm more tightly around him. “Let me have some time with my new boyfriend.”

They come back from Thanksgiving break to a chill that only seems to be fixed by holding Matt’s hand in his. He’d missed Matt more than he realized possible in that week, and the way Matt had thrown himself into his arms when they saw each other that first Sunday afternoon they were back was more than he could imagine.

“Come on,” Matt says, pulling away. “Nick’s doing, I don’t know. Something to do with class, probably. Let’s go get lunch.”

“Diner?” Adam asks, taking Matt’s hand. “I tutored over the break so I have extra money.”

“Ooh, are you going to take me on a fancy date to the local greasy spoon?” Matt giggles.

“We can get really fancy and buy the real maple syrup when you drown your pancakes.” Adam pulls Matt in and kisses his forehead.

They sit at one of the shiny vinyl booths for two, and Happy comes over.

“You’re a waitress here?” Adam asks. “Since when?”

Happy blows her hair out of her face. “Since I realized my bike needs repairs I can’t afford, and I wasn’t willing to wait until summer.” She clicks her pen. “Alright, dorks. What do you want?”

Adam and Matt order pancakes and hashbrowns and all other things that will make the chill outside feel a little more tolerable. Matt sips his hot chocolate with a smile on his face.

“What?” Adam asks.

Matt shrugs. “I missed you.”

Matt’s in the middle of a story about how Nick got his hand stuck in the turkey when his mostly empty mug of hot chocolate flies to the ground and shatters.

“Oops,” Matt says, eyes widening. “Uh. Do you see Happy?”

Happy whirls around the corner. “What the hell was that?!”

“Hi, Happy,” Adam mutters, sheepish under her furious gaze. “We, um. Broke a mug.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, no shit,” she mutters. “Wait, pretend I didn’t say that. I’ll go get a mop, but go check in with the front to see if they have anything to clean up the mug.” She frowns at it. “I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you idiots to pick it up on your own, even though it was your fault to begin with.”

“Yeah, I’ll go check,” Adam says. “You can stay here, Matt. Keep your sneakers clean.” He grins a Matt.

“No, I’m coming with,” Matt says. “It’s my mug, after all. I should let them know I dropped it.”

They make their way to the front space of the diner with barstools and a window into the kitchen where…where Adam…sees…

Adam’s mouth drops open, and he barely has the sense to throw out an arm to keep Matt from stomping through the door to the kitchen, but it’s no use.

“I’m sorry,” Matt says, and Adam should probably not be turned on by how bitchy Matt sounds, “since when have you been banging Mox?”

Nick sighs and adjusts his shirt and hair. “Since, like, the beginning of the semester. Took you long enough to figure it out.” Adam thinks back to the semester – other than when it was time to sleep or play basketball, Nick was pretty gone. He’d put it up to hanging out with Reyna or Happy or something, but nope. “How do you know Mox, by the way?”

“Not important.” Matt says, leaning against the wall and folding his arms over his chest. “By the way, Mox is short for…?”

“Moxley,” the guy says, and his voice is sand and smoke in one. “Jon Moxley. You his big brother or something?” He sticks out his hand. “Shake it. I’m a cook, not a monster. My hands are clean.”

Matt throws a hesitant look at Adam, who shrugs, then shakes Mox’s hand. “Hi,” Matt says, still with a little frown on his face. “Are you – what are your intentions with my brother?”

“Jesus Christ,” Nick mutters, dropping his head into his hand.

Adam watches as Mox’s grin goes a little…weird. “You really wanna know?” Mox asks.

“I – no,” Matt says, blushing furiously. He grabs Adam’s hand. “We, um. If you hurt him, I’ll kill you. Just for the record.”

“Sure you will, sweetheart.” Mox winks at Matt.

“Hey!” Adam says. “Be less weird about my boyfriend.”

“You sure about that?” Mox asks. He’s weirdly confident, almost too casual, as he leans against the stove. Adam secretly hopes it’s on. “Anyway, I’m supposed to be cooking, so it’d be great if all of you left my place of work.” He smacks Nick on the ass. “Except for you, baby. You can stay as long as you want.”

Nick nods. “Yeah, goodbye, roommate and brother. I have someone – something – things to do.”

“I should have known you were out getting laid when you were late to our study parties,” Adam says, but he can’t make himself be mad about it. He grabs Matt by the bicep and turns, leading him back to their seat.

Matt fumes silently as he picks up the shards of mug without any hand protection.

“The hell are you doing?” Happy asks. “I told you to ask the front to take care of that.”

“Your cook is making out with my brother, so he appeared otherwise occupied,” Matt says, glaring down at the puddle.

Happy snorts. “Oh, you didn’t know? Oops.”

“You knew?!”

“Only so many times you can hear weird noises from the kitchen before investigating,” Happy says, mopping up the puddle. It’s mercifully small. “Plus, me and Toby tried to hook up in the supply closet and the two of them were in there last week.”

“And when did that start?”

“Me and Toby?” Happy asks. “Like, last year.”

“No!” Matt says, throwing his hands in the air. “The Nick and Mox!”

Happy pauses mopping. “Don’t know. Don’t really pay attention to things like that. Mostly I’m focusing on how to make people tip me more. Toby’s been teaching me psychology tricks.”

“I can guarantee,” Adam says, “telling people about your tip related psychology tricks is not a way to get them to tip you more. I’ll tip you, like, 25%, but that’s because you’re my friend.”

Happy grins. “Then it worked!”

Adam avoids the urge to tell her it didn’t work the way she’d intended, but he does leave the big tip.

As they walk back into the windy chill of the day, Matt ramps himself up again.

“I can’t believe Nick is – is sleeping with the diner guy!” Matt says, immediately going red. “I – this isn’t – why?!”

“Is this a classist thing?” Adam asks, walking down the street back to his dorm. At the very least, he knows it’ll be empty for a while. “Are you mad your brother for sleeping with a townie?”

“No!” Matt says, and his hair is getting in on the drama, too. “I – that’s – not it.”

Adam studies Matt’s face for a few minutes. “Oh,” he says grinning. “You’re mad because you had a crush on Mox first.”

“I – did not!” Matt says, but he won’t meet Adam’s eyes.

Adam flashes his ID at the desk attendant as Matt stomps ahead of him. “You did,” Adam says. “Oh, this would be so funny if you weren’t dating me.”

Matt gets to Adam’s door and gestures to it angrily. “Open the door.”

“Why?” Adam asks. “So you can tell me how bad you want Mox to fuck you?”

Matt whines and stomps his foot. “No, because I want you to eff me, okay?”

Adam pauses, key halfway twisted in the lock. “Come again?”

“I – I liked Mox, a while ago,” Matt says. “Okay? I did. I thought – shut up.” Adam turns away and keeps opening the door and decides not to mention he hasn’t actually said anything. He pushes it open. “You’re not allowed to talk right now. Let me explain.”

Matt shoves past him and throws himself on Adam’s bed. “Before Nick went here, Mox and I flirted a few times at the diner when I was a freshman and all, so, yeah. I kind of liked him. But then I met you at the beginning of this year, and now I like you.”

At least, that’s what Adam heard. Matt’s face is shoved into Adam’s pillow so he can’t be certain.

“I know you like me,” Adam says, sitting on the bed next to Matt. It’s strangely reminiscent of the night they kissed the first time. “I was just teasing.”

Matt rolls over. “That’s the thing, though,” he says. “I don’t just like you.” He presses his lips together, and Adam thinks he can hear his heart racing.

Adam leans in and kisses Matt without pausing to think about it, laying across Matt’s body. He – he can feel that Matt’s hard against him, and his entire body electrifies with it.

“You know what I’m saying, right?” Matt asks, pulling back and tucking rogue curls behind Adam’s ear. “I love you.”

Adam nods, head spinning with all of it. “I – I love you too,” he manages to say. He didn’t know he did, not yet, but now, with Matt under him, with everything.

He’s sure.

Their clothes disappear in favor of roaming hands and lips. Adam doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, but he knows he’ll say yes to anything Matt asks of him.

“Are you,” Matt asks, lips parted and eyes bright underneath Adam. “I mean, I want to – do you want to?”

Adam brushes Matt’s hair away from his face, suddenly so glad Nick is busy. “Yes,” he breathes. “Yes, anything, with you. I want to. But, um. I’ve never – I mean, I’ve, like, kissed. Obviously. And- well, it depends – what do you want to do?”

Matt smiles. “Am I gonna be one of your first times?” He reaches up and plays with Adam’s hair where it’s fallen out of the ponytail.

“First time,” Adam whispers. “When it mattered.”

Matt’s eyes widen. “Oh,” he says. “Oh, okay. If you want to slow down, we slow down.” He reaches up again and cups Adam’s cheek, and it’s so sweet that Adam almost loses it right then and there.

“Do you want to slow down?” Adam asks.

Matt shakes his head. “Not even a little bit. But if you want to slow – ”

“No,” Adam says. “I want – I want you.”

Matt exhales, eyes deadly serious on Adam’s face. “Okay,” he says quietly. “I’m all yours.”

Matt is immeasurable kind and gentle, talking it out with Adam, explaining what to do, all while their hands are lined and Adam kisses along Matt’s body.

“You – you’re incredible,” Adam mutters. Matt throws an arm around Adam’s neck. “You know that?”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Matt says. “I – oh, okay. You’re doing so good at this.”

Adam feels himself turn pink. “I am?”

“So good,” Matt says. “And I’m ready, if you are.” He looks a little smug. “If you have what we need, that is.”

Adam flashes back to the beginning of the semester, when he, Toby, and Piper had found themselves at Walmart.

“I, um. I do.”

Matt’s face lights up with excitement. “You do?”

Adam nods. “Piper told me and Toby we were too – I think she said vanilla?” He feels his face burn pink. “She made us get a bunch of lube. Condoms.” He forces out the last word. “There’s a couple vibrators in there, too.”

Matt giggles. “Yeah?”

He nods. “She’s very persuasive, Piper.”

Matt stands and walks over to his desk. “In here?”

Adam presses his lips together and nods. “Yeah.

“Can I open it?” Matt asks quietly. “I know you don’t like people in your stuff.”

“You’re not just people,” Adam says. “Go ahead.”

Matt takes out the lube and some condoms, wordlessly looking to Adam, who nods. Matt’s always got a way of getting Adam’s heart racing like this.

“I’m ready if you want to,” Matt says quietly, coming over to the bed. He sits down on the bed, eyes on Adam’s.

Adam has to steady his breathing. “You are?” It feels too soon, or too fast, for Matt. He doesn’t want to over do it, but Matt seems confident.

“I just – tell me what you want,” Matt says. “I want to make sure you know, so I know, and so we, like, understand each other.”

Adam laughs as he slots himself in between Matt’s legs. “I want to fuck you, you idiot.”

Matt beams at him. “Okay. Yeah, perfect.”

Adam’s never felt like this before, when he and Matt connect. There are fumbling fingers and limbs, some laughter, pauses to kiss. His entire mind is consumed with how Matt looks and feels, how he tastes when they kiss, how he sounds when Adam tries a different move with his hips.

He’s watched a lot of movies. He’s read a lot of books. But none of the words spoken or written are enough to explain how this moment consumes him.

Matt’s little encouragements, praise, gentle touches, anchor him to the moment. Without them, he thinks he’d float away somewhere else.

“Matt,” he warns. “I – I think I’m…”

“That’s okay,” Matt says. “I, um, I can take care of myself after.”

“Definitely not,” Adam says. “I’ll take care of you as long as you want.”

Matt makes an interesting, irresistible little whine, and Adam can’t hold it back anymore. His mind and body coalesce into spinning, whirling bliss with Matt’s name on his lips, and he gives himself a few seconds to breathe. It feels real, overwhelmingly so, and he has to lean down to kiss Matt.

“Hold on,” he whispers against Matt’s lips. “I – give me, like, three seconds.”

“Take your time,” Matt says, beaming up at Adam, and god isn’t that a sight he wants to see every day.

Adam ties off the condom and chucks it in the trash can, then comes back to Matt. “So, um, I’ve never – like jokes with popsicles and whatever –”

“I promise,” Matt says, “whatever you do will be amazing.”

Adam ducks down and tries his best to get this right. He will admit it’s messy, but Matt’s got a hand in his hair and is squirming, which makes him think he’s doing okay.

“Adam,” Matt whimpers, “you’re – oh my god – you’re really good at this.” He whines and twitches his hips. Automatically, Adam throws an arm across Matt’s hips to still him.

“You have no idea how hot this is,” Matt pants. “I’m gonna – Adam, I’m about to –”

He has a decision to make. Adam picks up the pace and grins when Matt cries his name with a hand resting on the back of his head. It’s not exactly what he expected, a little startling, but it’s worth it to hear Matt breathless and giggling farther up on the bed.

“You’re glowing,” Matt says, smoothing his hand over Adam’s hair. “Like, you usually have a sunshiney thing going with the long blond hair, but you’re really glowy right now.”

Adam ducks his head, the intensity of the eye contact almost too much. “I am?”

“Yes.”

Adam lifts his head to see Matt with an angelic smile on his face. “You are, too.”

They kiss and hold each other, and Adam decides this might be his favorite moment of his life. It’s important to him to remember it so he can keep it as his favorite memory, too.

“So,” Adam says. “You excited to go back to classes tomorrow?”

“I can’t believe you’re asking about classes right now,” Matt laughs, draping a leg across Adam’s. “You’re such a nerd.”

“And?” Adam asks.

“And that’s what I like about you,” Matt says.

The last bit of the semester goes by too quickly – two weeks aren’t enough time to study, take midterms, and spend time with Matt. They go to a few smaller parties, lose to Kenny and Piper at every video game known to Kenny’s game collection, and stay up to late studying in the library until they get so giggly they get kicked out.

On his last day, two hours before his parents are supposed to pick him up before winter break, he grabs Matt as he’s leaving his last final.

“You done?” Adam asks. His last final was the day before, but their little group had a study party at Toby’s apartment the night before and he and Matt had had some time of their own afterwards.

Matt nods. “It felt good. Must be all that tutoring you gave me.” He winks, and Adam blushes.

“I can’t believe you called sex ‘tutoring’ in front of your brother last night,” Adam mutters. “Like, that was so transparent even Happy picked up on it.”

Matt shrugs. “And?”

Adam pulls him in and kisses him. “I love you,” he murmurs against Matt’s lips. “I’m gonna miss you so damned much.”

“Me too,” Matt says. “But it’s only a month, right?”

Adam nods. “Only a month.” They kiss again, then Adam reaches for his pocket. “I, um. I was hoping you could open your Christmas present now.”

Matt nods. “Okay.”

Adam did a terrible job of wrapping the picture frame, but he hands it to Matt anyway. Matt opens it carefully, unpeeling the crumpled paper with gentle fingers, and looking at it.

“It’s all of us,” Matt says, fingertips brushing over where he and Adam are next to each other in the cover picture of the photo album. “It’s the picture of all of us from the Halloween party.”

Adam nods. “That’s the first night we all took a picture together.” He brushes some hair from Matt’s cheeks. “Very found family of us. The rest is other pictures from the semester, so you – so you can look back if you’re lonely.”

Matt dives in and kisses Adam, arms thrown around his neck. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “This is the best gift ever.” He steps back. “Yours is in my apartment, though.”

“Oh!” Adam says. “That kind of gift?”

“Well, yes, that too,” Matt says, rolling his eyes with a smile. “But, like, the actual gift is in there, too. They wouldn’t let me bring anything into the test room.”

They walk, hand in hand, to Matt’s apartment that he shares with Toby, and Matt all but shoves him on the couch. “Wait here,” Matt says. “I’ll go get your gift.”

“Still feels like you’re gonna walk out naked and say I’m all you want for Christmas,” Adam yells after Matt, but he stretches out on the couch.

Matt comes back and holds out a smally, square box. “Here.”

Adam opens it and pulls out the keychain. There’s a picture of him and Matt at the top, and, below, a Spotify code etched into the metal.

“Scan it,” Matt says, bouncing on his toes. “It’s, like, a 2020’s version of a mixtape.”

Adam scans the code and sees a playlist called Adamantium.

“Adamantium?”

“Because you make me strong,” Matt says beaming. “It’s songs that make me think of you.”

Adam reaches up and yanks Matt down. “This is the best gift ever.”

He and Matt are really ramping up when the door crashes open with a bang and they pull apart to see Toby and Happy making out and running into the kitchen.

“Oh,” Matt says. “Alright, then.”

“Shut up,” Happy says. “You have an apartment, right Cowboy?”

“I – yes?” Adam says. “Cowboy?”

“You and the stupid fuckin’ belt buckles,” Happy says. “Out. I have a boyfriend to fuck.”

“I’m the boyfriend!” Toby says, and Adam is surprised he managed to bag such a smoke show as Happy freaking Quinn.

“We can go to your dorm,” Matt says, grinning. “I have it, unfortunately, on good authority that Nick is otherwise occupied.”

They fall together in Adam’s dorm, the lingering feeling of the last time until they see each other next sticking in Adam’s heart, but it’s good. It’s always so, so good.

And he’s always so, so in love.

Matt helps Adam pack up the essentials, and then Adam’s parents are texting to say they’re here. “Probably too soon to meet the parents,” Matt says, small smile. “Maybe next semester?”

“Okay,” Adam says, exhaling. “I’ll see you soon, right?”

Matt nods. “So soon.” He stands on his toes and yanks Adam in for what is clearly one final kiss, their hair messed up and hearts full. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Adam rests his forehead against Matt’s. “Thank you for being the best part of my semester.”

Matt tilts his head up and steals one last, perfect kiss.

Mini Playlist:

Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter

Kiss You - One Direction

Look After You - The Fray

I Think I'm In Love - Kat Dahlia

#HangMatt #wtf i like wrestling now???#in which sara writes #basically too much brain #I can't believe I don't have an actual PJO tag I am a fool #anxious millennial dreamboat #Matt Attrackson #I think I'm only going to tag the two of the but technically there are like 4 other ships in this

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hope-is-yellow · 4 months ago

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Gabriel's Redemption

One thing I love about Good Omens is how it helps me learn about myself. How I react to certain characters—who I get defensive toward, who I take a strong aversion to, who I want to protect, who I admire—shows me what I see about myself in them.

Because the writing, especially the characterization, in both the show and book is so good, I tend to have strong emotional reactions to the characters. That makes them good tools for self-discovery, a kind of mirror for my own virtues and vices, foibles, and strengths.

As long as I’m being honest about myself and with myself.

Even my responses to Good Omens fan creations (pictures, comics, fan fiction, video animations, written and video essays) teach me about myself. For example, observing what types of works I seek out is instructive. What kind of searches am I doing for Good Omens content on fiction or video websites? Why might I be drawn to more edgy or sad videos this week, or more upbeat stories the next? How do these choices reflect or shape my mood?

I’ve been thinking lately about why I find Gabriel/Jim such a compelling character in the second season. I’ve been thinking about what about him I might see in myself, and about how his redemption arc might give me hope for my own.

I want to acknowledge here that many viewers reasonably argue that at best Gabriel experiences only a partial redemption in season 2. Yes, he declines to end earth and humanity a second time, and his love for Beelzebub shows him something more important than choosing sides, but he still never acknowledges or expresses regret for trying to kill Aziraphale or destroy creation the first time around. But then again, if absolute power corrupts absolutely, and if Gabriel, as the only first-order archangel in the universe, is one of the most powerful beings in the existence, then I’d say that, while he has an awful lot of corruption to overcome, he seems to have come a fairly long way in an impressively short time by the end of season 2. He’s an immortal being; I trust that love will continue to eat away at his arrogance and instill some humility into him with time. Love has a way of doing that to the heart.

Even before I watched season 2, I found myself drawn to fan fiction that portrayed what some is sometimes tagged as “soft Gabriel” or “nice Gabriel”: Gabriel has realized, through some combination plot devices, the error(s) of his ways and attempts (and sometimes succeeds) in redeeming himself.

The circumstances in these stories that lead to Gabriel’s change of heart are many and varied, ranging from the extremely dark (Aziraphale’s trauma over his treatment by Heaven causes him to become a sadistic revenge seeker who tortures and abuses his former boss) to the light and fluffy (Gabriel becomes a parent with Beelzebub and wants to learn what delights earth can offer their child).

In the TV series, of course, it is simply romantic love that leads Gabriel to renounce the end of creation. He never says so explicitly, but we’re left with the impression through the brilliantly written and acted romance montage—incredibly only about two minutes long yet utterly convincing—that as Gabriel becomes enamored of his demonic counterpart, so he comes to appreciate the earthly environment in which this happens. He comes to appreciate music, for example, when Beelzebub expresses her liking for “Everyday” by Buddy Holly. By the end of season 2, Gabriel seems to finally begin to have an inkling about why God so loves Her earth.

(But then, who am I kidding; since when is romantic love simple?)

The series also shows us a childlike Gabriel in the form of Jim, who is practically a tabula rasa. We see him—hilariously—come to appreciate even more earthly pleasures, like cocoa, using books as flyswatters (that never hurt any flies) and coming up with nonsensical book shelving systems.

In fan fiction, once Gabriel’s redemptive change in perspective is accomplished—through whatever plot development—he often expresses regret, contrition, humility, willingness to learn. In some cases (in stories in which the author breaks with “canon” and he does not end up with Beelzebub), he renounces his heavenly position, and sometimes even his celestial powers, in favor of “retiring” to earth to live among humans, to learn about and from them, and to do good among them.

Sometimes Gabriel shows up on the Crowley’s and Aziraphale’s doorstep (if they’re in their South Downs cottage) or at the bookstore or Crowley’s flat (if they have yet to confirm their couplehood) and requests that they teach him about the earth. In these narratives, he often poses a question: what was it about the earth and/or humanity that made them willing to risk death to save it? Gabriel’s redemption in these stories takes the form of him becoming a student of earth, essentially, with one or both main characters acting as his teachers and guides. He learns to listen openly and attentively to others’ views and ideas; he learns the affection, compassion, and love that is so lacking in heaven; he learns the wealth of sensory experiences that having a body affords him; he learns gratitude and mercy; he learns the difference between self-esteem and self-absorption.

The reason I am attracted to these Gabriel redemption stories, I think, is because I struggle at times with some of Gabriel’s faults myself. For instance, I don’t think anyone would argue against the statement that Gabriel comes off as incredibly arrogant and pleased with himself. And I can act very egotistical at times. For me, low self-esteem and arrogant behavior are often two sides of the same coin, at least for me; it’s at those times when I’m most insecure about my abilities or my body or my general worthiness that I can lash out as the most obnoxious snob. It’s a childish, destructive, confused attempt at self-protection: I’ll point out your flaws and reject you before you can do the same to me.

Maybe I identify with Gabriel’s arrogance, and wonder if his egotism might be caused by deeply hidden feelings of self-doubt. We see that precious little compassion, acceptance, tolerance, love, or even basic courtesy is offered to anyone in heaven. In season 2 episode 6, Gabriel himself, in what I feel is one of the saddest moments in the entire series, says to Beelzebub during one of their meetings in the pub, “No one’s ever given me anything before.” In just a few words, Gabriel presents a devastating picture of the barrenness, the emotional emptiness, the cruel neglect of his existence until that moment. In the complete absence of love, is it really any wonder, that Gabriel offers Aziraphale only fake smiles; empty compliments; subtle and not-so-subtle putdowns; constant interruptions; and, in the end, murderous rage toward Aziraphale? Rage and anger are signs of feelings of injury and injustice, and all beings feel those things when they’re deprived of love. And if we have no way of addressing and rectifying the hurts and injustices we’ve suffered—no then—again—we can end up lashing out at other people. That’s not an excuse, but it can be a cause and a reason.

Now one might argue that Aziraphale was treated with equal emotional neglect and abuse by heaven and ended up a kind, sweet and giving soul. But then, Aziraphale had the love, friendship, trust, and affirmation of one being in the world, a certain demon who adored him from the outset.

The genuine love—romantic love, familial love, platonic love—of a single being can shield and cushion us from believing the cruel messages others send us with cruel behavior and inattention. Even if everyone else around us has failed to treat us with the respect and care we need and deserve, that single being’s love can bolster our self-esteem, free us from self-hate, and teach us to love ourselves and others.

Gabriel’s redemption story proves this axiom in the world of Good Omens: Once he received Beelzebub’s love, he was able to show love: He acted to avert Armageddon and save creation; he was ready to sacrifice his authority and power in heaven to be with his love in hell.

I think I so enjoyed Gabriel’s redemption story in season 2, and continue to enjoy Gabriel redemption fan fiction, because in them I find hope of my own salvation and redemption. They offer me hope of overcoming my own faults and becoming a better, kinder, more selfless person. To some extent the history and contours of my own struggle toward emotional development mirror Gabriel’s origins story. If I can find compassion for him, I can find compassion for myself. And if he found the capacity and courage to change after one loving being came into his life, how much more hope is there for me who am blessed with—and should appreciate more—numerous family and friends who love me.

#good omens #spirituality #mental health #my writing #reading

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latibvles · 2 years ago

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SAD, BEAUTIFUL, TRAGIC.

beautiful, tragic // amen, amen, amen.

sometimes i can’t help blaming you for leaving me here, what am i supposed to do?

masterlist | gallery | taglist

TAGLIST: @liebgotts-lovergirl , @softguarnere , @monalisastwin , @brassknucklespeirs , @mads-weasley

WARNINGS: major character death , descriptions of bombings , civilian death , gore , etc.

SUMMARY: As Christmas Eve comes around, it proves challenging for the battered medics of Bastogne to find reason to celebrate — as General McAuliffe’s response reaps lethal consequence.

She used to love Christmas

Well… used to love wouldn’t be the right term. She still does — but Christmases at home, with her brother, with Ron, with warm fires and a belly full of food. It nearly slipped her mind that Christmas was tomorrow, until Laura slipped a coin on a string to her with a soft smile and a “Merry Christmas Eve, Lieutenant.” Daisy put it on, took note of the matching one hanging from Laura’s neck — and it was the first time she smiled that morning.

It’s been four days since they were cut off, and three days since another Aid Station opened down the road with staff from 82nd Airborne and 705th Tank Destroyer. Ironically, the opening of it is an astute reminder of the Army’s lackluster medical training — filled with green replacements who make mistakes that Daisy has to amend. She doesn’t know when it was agreed upon by the officers that the enlisted would come to her for any and all questions, but she has a feeling it has to do with the ones who don’t like her very much. Now it’s just another thing on the long list of responsibilities she has to shoulder.

When the skies cleared yesterday it did little to lift her mood — but the supply drop certainly helped. Still, with men coming up to her for questions on even the most self-explanatory of procedure or direction, her patience ran thin. Poor Sergeant Lipton became victim to her outburst; she mistook him for another doe-eyed medic, but he took it in stride. He’d even cracked a joke, flashed her a smile, no harm, no foul.

“It’s bullshit and you know it, Charles.” Daisy spits out, her words sharp as they make their way down the street of the bombed out town. Lieutenant Phalen, or rather, Charles Phalen, as he asked her to call him, says nothing — so she continues. “I swear to God it’s like all those men learned was how to pester their goddamn nurses. And if Evans gives me that sideways glance one more time I’m gonna—”

“Tug his ear?” Daisy looks at him and shakes her head.

“Break his glasses.”

Charles takes a tentative glance towards the sky as an engine whirrs overhead, and Daisy looks up at it too. To her reluctant relief, she recognizes the black and white stars and stripes of the C-47. For two nights they’ve been getting hit with bombs all over town, and Daisy finds herself praying way more frequently now that the bombs don’t hit the church.

“Wonder where he’s headed,” Charles muses.

“Fiji, probably. Holiday vacations and all that.” She hears him snort beside her.

“You know a lot about vacations, Daisy?”

“Oh yeah — I’ve actually got a holiday foot massage in an hour with my best friend George Evans.” She fires back dryly, garnering another small laugh.

She can laugh and rant and curse all she likes, but none of it shakes this helpless feeling that’s long-since festered in her heart and taken root like a weed. There’s not much any of them can do, and Daisy hates that especially. That feeling that no matter how many people get back on their feet — it’ll never be enough. Trying not to give in to her own despair has proven harder as of late, with the crumbling buildings and civilian casualties demanding her attention.

The streets reek of rot. The air smells like smoke. The once-clear roads are littered with debris. It looks like the end of the world. She can only imagine what it’s like out on the line.

As they return to the Church, Daisy watches for a moment as they carry Smokey Gordon out by stretcher. They’d been so busy when he was brought in that morning, she couldn’t give Eugene more than a sympathetic look before she was being whisked away by her other duties. His eyes are half-lidded and his skin is sallow, but he’s alive, and he might get to go home. She feels Charles clap her shoulder and give it a squeeze.

“I’m gonna be with 82nd tonight, if you need anything.” He offers, and Daisy gives him a stiff nod.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She puts a hand over his and gives it a squeeze, before shaking it off to head back down into the stuffy Church, bursting at the seams with civilians and soldiers all in desperate need of a relief Daisy doesn’t know how to provide.

“There you go. Take this. Couverture? Couverture?” The French in Laura’s thick accent sounds a little strange rolling off her tongue, but something’s better than nothing. In the supplies had been some extra blankets, and they’d scavenged for what they could in the ruined buildings, washing the sheets until their fingers pruned and the water ran black with dirt and grime. Now they pass them out to the people finding shelter — elderly and women and children with dirt-smudged faces and tired eyes.

Daisy tries not to stare for too long as mothers wrap their children in the scratchy wool-covers, kissing their heads as the children let out wet coughs.

Christ, she misses her mother.

They’d be getting ready for Christmas Eve service right about how. Her mother, in her red-brown church dress and her father in a cable-knit sweater vest. And her eldest cousin, Mary, would be trying to wrangle in the other two, Abigail and Joseph. Her mother would be fretting over her father’s Christmas tie while her Aunt Marie desperately tries to calm her mother’s nerves. And the house would be warm — from Christmas lights and dinner cooking in the kitchen. It’s been two years since she walked the halls of her aunt’s stately Maryland colonial, and the thought makes her chest ache.

“Rogers, come with me. I wanna head to 82nd and see if they have any extra blankets. For the little ones.” Laura looks at her and nods.

“Sure thing!”

They make their way up the stairs and out into the frigid night quickly, and Laura hums to herself thoughtfully. Daisy looks at her with a raised brow.

“I’ve been thinkin’...” she starts out, “Tomorrow maybe a few of us could go n’ poke around, see if there’s any toys lying about that the kids might want. Since it’s Christmas n’ all. Somethin’ nice for the little ones,” The blonde suggests. Daisy smiles at that — her friend’s idea making her feel a little warmer.

“Wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Could see what we can scrounge liquor-wise for the guys. Something nicer than moonshine, maybe?” Laura’s grin grows wider at the thought.

“I like the way you think, Dais,” She throws her arm over Daisy’s shoulder, pulling her into her side as the lights from the other Aid station come into view around the corner. “That really oughta—”

Pop! Pop! Pop!

Their eyes snap up as 88s light up the sky, and make out the silhouette of planes. Then, there’s the familiar orange glow further in town — just like the one in Holland. Her blood turns to ice. A whistle pierces through the air and then…

She watches as a building goes up in a burst of brilliant orange flames. Her heartbeat picks up. It’s dangerously close to the Church and before she can register it, Laura’s taking off down the road.

“Rogers! Rogers!” Daisy calls out. The girl whips her head back, eyes lit up with courage.

“We’ve gotta get ‘em out of there, Dais!” Another whistle. Another explosion that shakes the ground. Daisy can’t look away. She takes a breath and nods. She’s right. No matter how much she wants to keep this woman close to her — she knows she’s right.

“I’m getting Phalen and some other guys and we’re gonna get everybody out, okay?”

“Yes ma’am!”

Daisy turns and takes off into the Aid Station. The able-bodied are ducked under tables and other means of cover. Her head whips around in search of Charles, calling out his name until the man comes from one of the off rooms of this building.

Another boom.

“What is it, Clarke?” he asks. Her face feels hot.

“We’re evacuating the people in the Church. Bombs are hitting way too close and I—,” Whistle. Boom. “Look. I just need guys, alright?! And a jeep.” Charles nods, his expression changing from concern to determination. He barks out a few names, and a couple medics spring up as he gives orders to each of them.

“I’ll get you that jeep.” He decides on, giving her shoulder another squeeze.

“Thank you.” Daisy responds, and she’s dashing out the door once again.

There’s fire, a lot of it. And screaming. Cries for people to clear the roads and get out mixed with the popping sound of 88s and the powerful groans of jet engines. She lifts her arms to cover her head as she runs, heart pounding in her ears, drowning out the cacophony. Gotta get back, she repeats, gotta make it back. As she approaches she sees specks in the distance rushing out of the building. She thinks she can make out those precious red crosses, and Laura’s blonde head as she rushes inside when—

Whistle. Boom.

The force of the explosion on her left is enough to thrust her into the opposing wall. Her head slams into the brick. Her ears are ringing. Glass and debris slice her skin and sting her eyes. Everything is muffled. She can’t see through the cloud of dust — she shuts her eyes. For a moment, Daisy just sits there in a daze. When she lifts her fingers to her temple, it’s warm and wet. She can taste blood in her mouth and her tongue aches.

“Get out! Quickly!”

“Clear the road! Outta the way!”

A flash of orange behind her eyelids, the screeching of tires. Her legs feel a little shaky. Gotta get up, she desperately tries to will herself into it. Stand up. Keep pushing forward. She holds her breath for a moment, pressing her palm into the brick and pushing herself up on trembling legs, squinting to see through the clouds of dust. Daisy takes a tentative step forward, and then another, forcing herself through the cloud and opening her eyes fully as she does so.

As three men stumble out of the Church, scattering to the wind, she brings a hand to her mouth.

It’s completely caved in — glass shattered and littering the ground. Dust pluming. A lump forms in her throat as she stumbles forward.

“Laura..?” Daisy whispers, her voice cracking as she approaches the entryway.

“Daisy?” Daisy whips her head around, only for her eyes to meet Eugene’s. He rushes forward, towards her and the debris as a medic warns them against it, falling to his knees and pulling out a familiar blue scarf. Daisy’s fingers ghost the coin hanging from her neck with trembling hands. She feels like she might be drowning. The throbbing of her head becomes a distant pain in comparison to the piercing pain in her chest.

“Gene, I—” Daisy struggles to find the words, grasping at something, anything, praying it isn’t real. “Renee and— Laura was right here. I saw her go inside and— and my nurses, and the women and the children. They were all…” she trails off, staring at the rubble with a quivering lip.

She feels a hand curl around her own in a death-grip. Squeezing tight enough for it to hurt. She doesn’t care. She looks at Eugene — his eyes aren’t glassy, but they hold the same grief that’s splitting her apart.

“Easy needs a medic.” He murmurs. Despite his grip, she squeezes back with all the strength she can muster, giving him a nod.

“Medic! Get your ass out here!” Eugene turns his head to look, and she follows, watching a man as he darts away. Then he’s climbing down the pile of rubble, and leading her with him. She doesn’t let go of his hand, not until they pile into a jeep headed back out onto the line, and even then she says nothing. She and Gene exchange looks, but nothing more. She wants to hold his hand again — but doesn’t. Daisy doesn’t even cry.

She says nothing when the jeep pulls into the woods she’s never been in before — not when they get out, and not when Liebgott practically springs out of his foxhole, scruffier with a bright red nose and a look of excitement that immediately shifts to worry upon seeing the state of her.

“Holy shit, Dais, what’re you doing out here?” He whispers. Eugene clears his throat.

“Can she share your foxhole t’night, Liebgott?” And then, shifting his eyes back to Daisy, “We can… talk to Captain Winters in the morning.” Daisy nods at that, weakly, as Joe places his hands on her shoulders, guiding her back towards the hole he sprung up from. When was the last time she’d slept in a foxhole? It had to be Normandy.

They slump into it, Joe placing an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. He’s warm, and familiar, and Daisy finds herself leaning into him.

“I slapped my father,” she whispers, her voice cracking in all the wrong places. Joe turns to look at her. She can feel his gaze on the top of her head, burning through her. “I almost died tonight and… and his last memory would’ve been of me slapping him before I got on the train.” There’s a heavy silence for a moment, before his fingers dig into her arm a little bit.

“But you made it.” Joe responds, definitive, in a way that makes her ache for home.

She stares at the dirt wall — and sees a dreamlike woman, with soft blonde hair and sky blue eyes. A smile to die for, an ability to charm almost everybody she ever met. A kid brother at home, a father, so determined to make it — she remembers that first day, when Daisy pressed her fingers into her back to push her over the finish line. Their first night out. The first time she followed Daisy without question, back in Holland. They were supposed to find toys and whiskey tomorrow, for the kids and the men.

But she didn’t, is what she says, except it comes out as a strangled sob. And then another one, that lurches her body forward, and before she knows it, she’s sobbing and hiccuping and Joe’s pulling her fully into his arms — so she’s sobbing into his chest now, incoherent and blubbering. Daisy can barely breathe, gripping onto him for dear life and trying to stifle her cries into his jacket. It hurts. She feels like she's drowning and scrambling for air, only for a hand to maliciously shove her down again and hold her under the water until her lungs cry out. Over and over, just when she thinks things could be a little okay, something happens for her to be proven stupidly, horrifically, wrong. And she hates it.

Joe says nothing, rubbing circles into her back, kissing the top of her head and keeping her close in a way that's so familiar it makes her cry harder. It's only then, that he tells her, soft as ever, to just breathe. Daisy doesn't know if she can do that.

She doesn’t know when she falls asleep — but it’s somewhere between the sobbing and a prayer

#fic // sad beautiful tragic #band of brothers fic #ronald speirs fic #ronald speirs x ofc #ronald speirs x oc #hbo war oc #hbo war fic #band of brothers oc #band of brothers ofc #yeah I didn’t write for like three days after writing this #because my heart was #quite frankly #BROKEN #and I was left in shambles because of it

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hjcoolartnerd · 9 months ago

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Continuing my rewritten things For Total Drama All Stars, now we have episode two!

Previous episode:

1. Heroes Vs Villains

Episode 2: Evil Dread

Recap:

Chris: “ last times on total drama, I welcomed the all stars to the newly decontaminated island. Then it was heroes versus villains. Driving into short infested water in search of the one key that would open unlock the door to the all new McLean spa hotel for winners only. Thanks to Scott’s cowardly fear we learned that inside of every robot it’s the heart of a Spaniard, in this case, Alejandro. And while Alejandro might not hold the key to Heather‘s heart anymore, he did hold the key to the spa hotel, and victory for the villainous vultures. Hamsters. And the heroic hamsters bid farewell to Lindsay, Via Our newest and most humiliating commode of transportation the flush of Shame who will be next to pop through the pooper? Find out right now on total. Drama. All stars.”

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Heroic Hamsters in the loser cabin:

Chester: “ there’s a storm coming!”

Stevlanna: “ I’m scared after all these years he’s going to return”

Vito: “ eyo, how are we gonna stop the Goomba?.”

Manitoba: ” hush, it mates, Mike is waking up” * Mike wakes up*

Mike: “huh? What’s that? You guys say something?” * Cameron snores, Sam sleeps peacefully as a mosquito drains his blood while Eric ‘shifts’ in his sleep. Mike shrugs then goes back to sleep.*

Eric’s Confessional: “ OK so I knew Mike had multiple personality sooner, but I didn’t thought it. Was this bad, his personality, talk in his sleep. I’m lucky I barely got any sleep last night besides, the bed are like rocks they were bit more in season one if I remember correctly. Maybe it’s nostalgia but damn my back hurts and also I think Lindsay a smart move being voted out yesterday, I actually doubt she is bad at pushing cards for crying out loud. She shops for a living and in season two she actually pulled Owen, Justin and Beth in the prison challenge by herself. Maybe Lindsey realized that $1 million wasn’t worth it and decided to leave huh?”

————————————————————————————————————

Villainous Vultures in the spa hotel:

Daniel: “*walking towards the masseuse* holy moly that was the best sleep. I’ve had in years this beds are even comfier than the beds back home I like winning.” *sees Heather waiting for the masseuse to finish with Alejandro* “ oh, sorry, am I interrupting a romantic moment between the two of you”

Heather: “ what!? no I just want Alejandro to stop hugging the masseuse!” * she was clearly blushing*

Alejandro: “*sigh* i’m sure her hands are magical, if only I could feel them”

Heather: “ seriously your legs are still asleep”

Alejandro: “ I don’t know if they’ll ever wake up, I was squashed into that robots suit for an entire year, which you would’ve known if you ever texted”

Heather : “ it’s not like you ever texted me”

Daniel: “ oh, yeah, you do definitely still have feelings for each other!” *laughs*

Heather : “ shut up Daniel! And are you getting your eyebrows waxed? *Alejandro Nods* wow”

Daniel: “that’s… uh cool?”

Alejandro: “ They call it manscaping because it is very manly and I didn’t text you because I was trapped in a robot suit”

Heather: “ugh what ever” * she rips off the wax from Alejandro’s eyebrow*

Daniel’s confessional: “ OK I really don’t see what Bryan used to see in Heather, It's like her she is so full of herself. And I also don’t get what Eric used to see in Alejandro. my brothers all have weird taste in people even Carlos and he’s one of the most neutral guy I’ve ever met, but the girl he likes is a complete rageholic. But I do need allies if I want to make it far Scott, lightning and Jo aren’t ideal, because they know how I play, besides, I wouldn’t trust Scott as far as I could throw him and that’s really far. Lightning is a self obsess jerk and Jo well if Cameron was able to double cross her and she didn’t see that coming, then she is not a good alliance member. *sighs* I guess is either Duncan, Heather, Alejandro, or Gwen. Heather and Alejandro are as manipulative as they come and Duncan doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would do alliances so time to buddy up with the weird goth girl. Have to make sure that she doesn’t kiss me that wouldn’t look favorable for me considering my girl from back home”

*everyone coughs*

Jo: “ gross I didn’t know Chris allowed Poofhead to return?”

Daniel: “*spraying his head* what did you say about my girl?”

Jo: “ of course only a dumb guy who gets with poofhead would do what she wants”

Daniel: “ and that’s coming from the girl who could easily be mistaken for a guy”

Jo: “What?! Only lightning thought I was a Guy!”

Daniel: “ no at first glance most people thought you were a guy. The only reason no one thought you were a guy was because you were sleeping in the girls cabin, and you actually do have the boobs. I happen to know that your name is Josephine” *jo looked mortified*

Jo’s confessional: “how on earth did brattniel, that my name is Josephine?!”

Daniel’s confessional: “ no I didn’t know her name until now the look she had on her face actually told me all I needed to know *laughs*”

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Zoey: “ we should divide our area into section and each day in one”

Courtney: “ no let’s separate the beach into quadrants each pick a quadrant”

Cameron: “ that’s exactly what Zoey said”

Courtney : “ then good we use the plan that Zoey and I came up with”

Eric : “ you mean the plan that only Zoey came up with? Just because you worded better doesn’t mean it’s your plan.”

Courtney : “ but I still came up with it”

Zoey: “ the more we bicker the more the villains are going to take the lead. Go team.”

Everyone but Courtney: “ go team”

Courtney : “*grumbles* yeah yeah yeah yeah can we start digging now?”

Courtney’s confessional: “ what’s with the loving? Hello, it’s called total drama not total friendship friendship,”

Eric‘s confessional: “ Courtney may be a smart player, but if she doesn’t start acting like a team player, then maybe she should be the next one taking the flush of shame, we are called the heroic hamsters, not the villainous , hamsters”

————————————————————————————————————

Jo: “ strategy, people, strategy. We should start at one end dig to the other in a straight line”

Heather: “ and what if the pieces are in the far end, huh? We need two lines that push in towards the center. Right guys”

Lightning: “ ain’t nobody telling lightning where to dig I am my own man”

Daniel : “ what about we steal the hamsters idea of dividing the beach into quadrants and each selects quadrant. And since we are seven, we are bound to find a pieces faster than the hamsters.”

Heather and Jo: “ you shut up nobody asked for your opinion”

Daniel : “ old Heather and Miss sweatpants just told me to shut up fine, *walk away angrily grumbling*”

Daniel ‘s confessional: “ when the team is filled with people who are used to having their own ideas and leading each of their teams, nobody listens to anyone and I don’t wanna go to the loser cabin, so those two better put their head in the game and stop fighting for control of the team that’s gonna be their downfall”

————————————————————————————————————

Eric: “Sam you need help?”

Sam: “* struggling* no no I go it, no need to worry “

Eric: “okay. *walks to another quadrant *”

————————————————————————————————————

Heather: “ fine we’ll work in a circular motion towards the center”

Jo: “no! Start with the corners then move to the center in zig zag “

Gwen: “*sighs* some team”

Heather: “exactly, a team without a leader is like a horse without a head, it just runs around blind”

Gwen: “I’m pretty sure a horse without a head doesn’t run anywhere “

Daniel “*laughs digging* are you confusing horses with chickens now?”

Jo: “Right? Which is why I should be this team’s leader!”

Heather: “ no I should!”

Daniel: “ a leader doesn’t impose himself he leads without forcing people to follow his lead but you girls do what you think is best”

Jo: “let’s let the team decide!”

Heather: “fine! *walks to one side* Lightning “

Jo: “ *walks the o the way calling Scott like a dog* come here Scott, Scott”

Daniel: “one of those girls would be our down fall”

Gwen: “ugh I give up!*trips and falls in front of Alejandro*

Alejandro: “ I hope you know that I appreciate your efforts, you are as wise as your skin is translucent”

Daniel’s Confessional: “Wow that guy is smooth like butter… I guess having all the villains in one team plus The gothball punk kisser in one team was definitely a bad Idea”

Gwen’s confessional: “I know he is evil but…. Oof those eyes”

Lightning’s Confessional: *continues to vomit*

————————————————————————————————————

Jo: “attention team! I am your leader!”

Heather: “No, I am your leader! *sticks the Shovel on the ground and hits piece * I found a piece!”

Daniel: “great now we find 6 more the same way *rolls his eyes with a smirk as Heather lift her piece and Jo goes to fight her for it*”

Jo: “you’d never have found it without me *Heather drops it on Jo’s foot* aaaaaaah!”

Heather: “oops sorry *jo pushes her down the moat*”

Daniel: “*laughs more* best team reunion Ever *walks away to keep digging*”

Chris: “two booby traps! Two puzzle pieces and two deliciously evil moats, it’s still anyone’s game but it won’t be for long right here! On Total! drama! all stars!”

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Chris: “an hour has passed and the teams are still tied one all. *whispering* which raises a pertinent question *now he raises voice* what is taking so long!”

Sierra :”we don’t have shovels!” Sam: “I have sands on my shorts!” Eric: “Don’t rush me!” Jo: “Ah hush! Lightning: “I’m amazing!” Daniel: “You do it then!”

Chris: “Blah blah blah, whine, whine! hurry up! I have dinner plans!”

————————————————————————————————————

Eric: “Nothing on my quadrant! *steps on a trap and gets cover in itching powder*is this… ITCHING POWDER! *yells and starts scratching like crazy* This is so Wrong! *runs towards the ocean to try and clean the itching power off*

Daniel: “*laughs* oh my! That’s hilarious!”

Scott: “Wow, not cool! *glares at Daniel*”

Daniel: “Come on Scott, That’s a hero in pain better him than us right?”

Scott: “Yeah, better them but not Eric!”

Daniel: “Eric is my brother, is my job to laugh at his misfortune besides he looks like a dog trying to sratch himself!”

Scott “*punches him in the faces and makes him bleed a bit,*”

Daniel’s confessional: “*clutching his nose* what is wrong with Scott? Last year he and my brother were at eachothers throat because Eric had threatened Him he would get him eliminated if he kept throwing the rats Challenges and now he is defending him. Does…, he likes Eric? Ew no, that’d be gross, no dirt boy is good enough for my older brother, I prefer him to date Alejandro again instead of going with Scott”

Scott’s confessional: “I’m not attracted to Eric, he just kept it a secret that I threw my teams challenges, so I do owe him one. Hector is a nice guys but he is not a snitch… and kind of cute…. Did I just said that ?! I meant for a guys he is cute… I’m going to stop talking now…”

Eric’s confessional: “*still scratching* did I see correctly? Did Scott punches Danny for laughing at me? Huh he might have a heart under neath his, musty, dirt stained, fit m good looking…. Wait what was I saying again?”

Sierra's confessional: "holy Cody! Did you see that? Scott defending Eric? Those two have the same tension as Heather and Alejandro had I'm season 3. I totally Ship Scoric... Or Erott... Huh I don't know which one sounds better?"

————————————————————————————————————

Heather: “come on people put this thing together already!”

Daniel: “*clutching. His nose with one hand* it’d be faster if you actually helped!”

Alejandro: “try those two together! No those two!”

Lightning: “Lightning finds the final piece I’m a hero!it’s probably a statue of me! being me!”

Daniel’s confessional: “okay, I see that Old Heather and Alehandjerk are only good for giving orders and not actually being team players.”

Gwen: “it’s tall whatever it is and boxy… like a tower… oh Big Ben!”

————————————————————————————————————

Zoey: “one piece to go, it has to be in Sam’s Quadrant”

Sam: “sorry guys I’m moving as Fast as I can”

Cameron: “all we need it the torch, Hurry!”

Eric: “alright! I’ll be useful and get that torch!”

————————————————————————————————————

Heather: “what’s with the big hole?”

Gwen: “maybe we put it together wrong?”

Daniel: “doesn’t Big Ben usually Have a clock in the same place that hole is?”

Lightning: “oh come on! Just get it Sha done! *the sculpture falls*”

Jo: “way to go liability!”

Lightning: “it’s not my fault you out it together wrong”

Alejandro: “we didn’t put it together wrong! There are only six pieces”

Jo: “great! So lightning miscounted! Come on everyone, we still have digging to do”

Daniel: “I knew you were dumb brightning but not I don’t know how to count dumb!”

————————————————————————————————————

Eric: “*moves Sam with the help of Mike and Zoey* Viola! The torch!”

Zoey: “*grabs the torch and Thor’s it towards the sculpture and it lands perfectly*”

Hamsters: “*cheers*”

Chris: “the heroic hamsters win!”

Villainous Vulture: *groans*

Mike, Zoey, Sam, Eric: *cheers*

Sierra and Courtney: “Spa Hotel! Spa Hotel!”

Chris: “ehem! I do require a volunteer for exile duty!”

Sam: “this one is on me guys to make up for my lack of diggings skills and… aaah”

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Gwen: “hey Courtney I just wanted to say congrats on….*activates booby trap and hits the Trash bag towards Courtney accidentally*”

Courtney: “*coughs* ew!”

Gwen: “that was an accident! I didn’t mean —-“

Chris: “Gwen Gwen Gwen, so evil! You are definitely on the right team”

Daniel: “dont listen to him Gwen! I know these are just unfortunate mistakes."

Gwen: "you believe I'm not doing it on purpose?"

Daniel: "of course! Even if Courtney did deserve that I know you aren't evil to do that sort of thing"

Gwen: "thank Daniel!"

Daniel's Confessional: "step one on making an Alliance with Gwen! Side with her. If she sees that I totally am With her in her 'accidents' she will think I'm nice. Oh yeah the wolf in sheep's clothing strikes!"

Gwen: "I though I was the only good person in the Villains team! I never thought Daniel had a kind heart!"

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Vultures Votes:

Alejandro: Lightning

Daniel: Jo

Duncan: Lightning

Gwen: Lightning

Heather: Jo

Lightning: Jo

Jo: Lightning

Scott: Lightning

Daniel’s confessional: “I would vote off lightning for being too dumb to count correctly, but if we need an athletic player for a more athletic demanding challenge Lightning is 10 times better than Jo so yeah my vite goes for Jo!”

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Order they receive the marshmallow

Duncan

Gwen

Scott

Daniel

Alejandro

Heather

Jo (bottom 2)

Lightning (eliminated)

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Next Episode:

Saving Private Leechball

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