#i’m very unsure how i feel about this and especially the ending but i hope i’ve handled it respectfully at least

[sour-cherryyy]

SNOWED IN. 〜Ni-ki

Pairing: Bf!Ni-ki x Gf!reader Summary: When a snowstorm cuts your date short, Ni-ki ends up spending the night at your apartment. What begins as innocent closeness quickly deepens into something far less innocent. Word count: 3.1k A/n: MDNI!! 18+ Smut & fluff. So nervous while writing this! It literally took everything in me to muster up the courage and post. There's like a whole long ass story before the spicy stuff bc I had to mentally prepare myself lol. But I hope you guys like it. (Requests are open) Now playing: UN Village By Beakhyun

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The door clicks shut behind you. You're both breathing hard from the sprint up the stairs with Ni-ki’s laughter still dancing through the warm, quiet hallway as he stamps the snow from his boots. 

“Wow,” he says, brushing melting flakes from his shoulders. “That came out of nowhere.” 

You nod, heart racing from the cold. Your cheeks sting, your fingers are numb, and there’s a giddy kind of buzz in your chest from the sudden change of plans. The storm rolled in quicker than anyone expected, and now, just like that, he’s in your apartment. 

Ni-ki shakes out his jacket and glances around your apartment as he sees it for the first time. “It’s cute,” he says, his lips curving slightly, “Very you.” 

You watch him, still by the door, arms wrapped around yourself like you’re unsure what to do now. You didn’t expect this. The night was supposed to end with a casual goodbye, maybe a second kiss in the car, a text an hour later.  

Instead, he’s standing in your hallway, clearly staying.  

“Oh,” you say, breaking the quiet. “Let me get you some dry clothes.” 

He follows you toward your room, shedding his damp hoodie as he goes. You catch a glimpse of the shirt riding up beneath it a sneak peek of his v-line. You look away too quickly and bump into the dresser. 

He chuckles behind you. “You okay?” 

“I’m fine. Just, uh, didn’t expect the weather to turn into a whole blizzard.” 

Ni-ki steps closer. Not too close, but enough that the space between you sharpens. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “I’m kind of an unexpected guest now, huh?” 

“No.” you say firmly, trying to hide your nervousness. 

You hand him an old sweatshirt- oversized, worn in- and avoid looking at him as he thanks you and changes right there, like it’s nothing.  

“Why are you acting so shy?” He smiles as if he's done this a million times before. 

He’s really comfortable. And although he hasn’t been in your apartment before,he has been in your orbit long enough to know how to move in your space. 

You’re not used to that. Not used to someone this confident especially when you're dying inside. 

Not looking up from the spot on the wall you’ve been eyeing, you answer. “I’m giving you some privacy.” 

“Well, I'm done.” He tosses the damp clothes on the heater.  

You blink, realizing you’re still in your (now slightly wet) outside clothes. “Right. I should change.” 

Ni-ki catches the glance you throw toward your door and lifts his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, I’ll give you some space.” 

He turns and disappears into the kitchen, leaving the soft sound of cabinets opening and the hum of your heater behind him. You move quickly, peeling off the damp layers and pull on a set of soft shorts and an oversized t-shirt with a faded mickey mouse across the front. Comfortable and somewhat safe. 

Still, you hesitate before stepping out. You know it’s just sleepwear, but it feels different now. This isn’t just a solo night or a casual video call. Ni-ki is here. In person.

When you finally emerge, he’s crouched in front of your pantry, holding up a half-full bag of marshmallows with a hopeful expression. 

He looks up. 

And he freezes for just a second- nothing dramatic, just a blink too long, his eyes flicking down, then right back up to meet yours. His lips part slightly, like he was about to say something and forgot the words. 

Then, with a lazy smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, he says, “cute.”, voice lower than usual. 

You tilt your head in confusion. “It’s just pyjamas.” 

“Hot chocolate?” he offers, changing the subject back to the marshmallows he's holding. “Or is this just a snack stash?” 

You laugh, tension easing. “Help yourself. I’ll start the movie.” 

He joins you on the couch a few minutes later, two mismatched mugs in hand and his eyes already scanning your small stack of DVDs. 

“You seriously own It Takes Two on disc? You’re so old.” he says, settling in beside you with a blanket draped over his lap. 

“It’s a classic,” you say defensively, scrolling to the input channel. “Mary-Kate and Ashley carried my childhood.” 

He snorts. “No argument. Just surprised you didn’t go for something darker. Thought you were all ‘psychological thriller’ vibes.” 

“That’s only on weekdays.” 

You press play, and the familiar opening notes start up. The couch is small, and without really talking about it, you both end up under the same blanket, legs stretched out in the same direction. His feet brush yours occasionally, each touch sending a tiny jolt up your spine. You don’t move away. 

The movie plays on- half commentary, half laughter, and full of those quiet glances when the other person isn’t looking.  

At some point, you reach for your phone, curious how long the storm might last. You expect to see a few flurries and mild delays. Instead, your notifications are filled with alerts. 

Heavy snowfall. Whiteout conditions. Road closures. 

You sit up straighter. 

Ni-ki leans over to peek at your phone. “That bad?” 

You scroll again, confirming it. “Yeah. Looks like everything’s shut down for the night. Buses, Ubers... even walking would be dangerous. Were Snowed In.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “So, I’m not going anywhere, huh?” 

You shake your head slowly. “Doesn’t look like it.” 

He leans back, arms stretched behind his head, casual. “Well, that’s it then. Guess I’m your problem for the night.” 

You glance over at him, heart doing something you don’t have a name for. The movie still plays in the background, the screen casting soft light across his face. He’s smiling- but it’s softer now. 

And for some reason, you’re not nervous anymore. 

You just smile back. “I’ve had worse problems.” 

He tosses you a cushion in mock offense, but he’s still grinning, “Thanks for letting me crash.” he says, voice lower now, calmer. “I’ll take the couch.” 

You shake your head gently. “You’re taller than the couch.” 

He lifts a brow, half amused. “You think I don’t know how to fold myself in half? I’m very flexible.” 

You have a hard time believing he’ll have a comfortable night your small couch. You can’t even sleep comfortably on your couch.

“Still,” you say, clearing your throat, “I’m not going to make you sleep out here. It's cold. The bed’s big enough.” 

There’s a beat of silence. 

He studies you- not just your face, but the way you say it. Your voice isn’t flirty. Just genuine and trusting. And somehow that makes the room feel warmer than the heater ever could. 

“You sure?” he asks, voice gentler now. 

You nod. 

He smiles- soft, that rare kind of smile you’ve only seen once or twice when the world goes quiet around him. “Alright,” he says. “If you’re okay with it.” 

You don’t make it a big deal. You both pretend it isn’t. He helps you lay out extra blankets, teases your pillow choices (“You really have one shaped like a peach?”), and the air feels lighter with each passing minute. 

When you finally crawl under the covers, it’s both familiar and unfamiliar. You’ve cuddled before- on movie nights at his place, during slow evenings when neither of you wanted to say goodbye- but there’s something different about slipping under the sheets beside him. Just the two of you having nowhere else to be. 

He settles beside you with easy grace, one arm tucked behind his head, the other resting lightly across his stomach. You lie on your side, facing him, watching how the soft glow of your lamp casts faint shadows along his jaw. 

He turns to look at you. “You cold?” 

You shake your head. “Not really.” 

He shifts closer anyway, just a little, his arm brushing yours beneath the blanket. “Still feel like I should keep you warm,” he murmurs. 

You don’t shy away. You don’t need to. Being this close feels like the most natural thing in the world. 

“You always do,” you say quietly. 

The corner of his mouth lifts. “That sounds like something someone would say in a movie.” 

“Yeah, well. I’m not very original.” 

He turns toward you fully now, his voice lower, more serious. “No. You’re just honest. That’s better.” 

You lie there in the quiet, heartbeat a steady thrum against the pillow, and you wonder if he can feel it from here. If he knows what it’s like for you- how new this all is.

“You okay?” he asks softly. 

You nod, but then you add, “I’ve never done this before.” 

“Done what?” his eyes are set on yours. 

You shrug, “Shared a bed with a boy.” 

He chuckles and reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingertips lingering against your cheek. “You don’t have to do anything,” he says. “We’re just sleeping. That’s all.” 

“But what if I want to do something?” you ask, voice steady despite the rush in your chest. 

He doesn’t pretend to misunderstand. His eyes search yours, thoughtful and kind, and for a moment, you expect him to pull back. 

Instead, he pulls you even closer.  

You slide easily into the space he makes for you. His hand finds the small of your back and the weight of it sends a flutter straight through your chest. 

"Are you sure?" he murmurs, his voice low, like it’s meant only for you. 

You nod, barely. “Yeah.” 

And that’s all it takes. 

He kisses you deeply. There’s a deliberateness to the way he moves, like he’s reading you in real time, learning what makes you lean in and what makes your fingers tug at the fabric of his borrowed sweatshirt. He takes the hint and slips out of it with ease. 

In return, his hand trails up your side, beneath the hem of your own t-shirt, lingering, waiting, asking. You nod, sensing his hesitation and off it comes. 

His lips crash back into yours as his hands roam your figure unapologetically. You exhale into the kiss, pressing in closer until there’s barely any space left between you. His leg shifts, and suddenly you’re straddling one of his thighs, the blanket slipping slightly as the heat between your bodies overtakes the chill from the cold outside.  

You break the kiss with a small gasp, forehead pressed to his, catching your breath. One of his hands stay on your waist as the other travels up to your chest. His thumb proceeding to draw slow, absent circles against your nipple. 

“Is this... okay?” he asks softly.  

“God, yes!” you whisper eagerly. 

You can't help but grind down on his thigh chasing for some sort of friction to ease the acing building at your core. 

You lean in closer, your hands tracing the outline of his Adams apple and the curve of his neck. You press your lips to the spot just beneath his jaw, and he exhales like you’ve undone something in him. 

Something shifts in his expression- like tension unravelling, like desire held back too long now flickering into something deeper.  

“Good.” he says, voice rough. 

And then he kisses you again- this time with a different kind of certainty. His hand leaving your breast and dragging down to trace the hem of your shorts before dipping in past your panties. 

His slender fingers trace a line up your slit slowly feeling how soaked you've become. 

He breathes out a shaky laugh, brushing his lips against your neck. “You’re so wet for me, baby” he says, low and honest. 

He continues, drawing lazy slow circles against your clit, each one sending little waves of pleasure pulsing through your body. He watches your face closely as you close your eyes, as if he’s memorizing your every expression. 

You bury your face in the crook of his neck, gripping the sheets at your side as your body melts into his touch. His other hand grips your thigh tensely, grounding you in the moment, anchoring you to him.  

“Just like that?” he whispers, thumb brushing with barely-there pressure. 

You shake your head, speaking before you can think. “Need. More.” you manage, voice breathless. 

His eyes darken just slightly, not with surprise- but with intention. 

Then, in one smooth movement, he flips you over. Your back meets the mattress with a soft bounce, and he follows you down, bracing himself with an arm beside your head. His face hovers just inches from yours, gaze locked onto yours, searching. 

“You want more?” he asks, voice lower now almost like a growl. 

You don’t answer with words. You just pull him down by the back of his neck and kiss him like you’ve been waiting forever to. 

Its hungry, messy, and filled with desire. You feel his fingers skim over the bare skin of your hips, dragging down slowly like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. 

He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, eyes locked on yours, giving you just a breath of warning before he slides them down in one smooth motion without hesitation. The cool air brushes over your skin, leaving you exposed beneath him.  

But he never looks away, appreciating your perfect body, taking it all in. 

Then without skipping a beat he strips off the rest of his own clothes. Your eyes widen at the sight of him and the size his erect length. 

“Woah,” you breathe, the word slipping out before you can stop it. 

A low, amused smile curves at his lips. He leans in just slightly, his voice dipping into something playful and warm. “Yeah?” 

You nod, still staring down at him, still adjusting to the new reality unfolding between you. 

“Yeah,” you whisper. “Definitely.” 

He looms over you, clearly thrilled at the ego boost you just gave him.

He rubs his tip against your clit, grinding into you, letting you feel him. The anticipation is almost enough to undo you.  

You arch up into him, impatient, wordlessly conveying what you want.  

You hold your breath as he pushes in, slow and careful, watching every change in your expression. It’s a stretch, a fullness that borders on too much, but just when you think it might overwhelm you, he stops. He stills, buried only halfway, breathing heavily against your ear.  

“Is this okay?” he asks, his voice laced with tension, like it’s taking every ounce of control to hold back. 

You exhale, the discomfort already melting away into something far sweeter. “More than okay,” you assure him. “Don’t stop.”  

He groans softly, sounding more like relief than pleasure, then thrusts the rest of the way in. 

You gasp, fingers digging into his back, overwhelmed by the sensation of him fully inside you. It’s something you couldn’t have imagined and yet somehow, it’s exactly what you want, what you need, what you’ve been waiting for.  

He pauses, letting you adjust, letting you catch your breath. “God,” he murmurs, forehead resting against yours, “you’re so tight.” 

You shift slightly beneath him, testing the limits of what you can take, and he swears under his breath. “Please,” you whimper. 

He draws back, almost all the way out, then thrusts in again. The motion sends a shockwave through you, your body tightening around him instinctively, pulling him even deeper.  

“Oh, fuck,” he groans, and this time he doesn’t stop.  

He finds a rhythm that builds, each thrust more insistent, more certain. His hands grip your waist, fingers pressing into your skin, pulling you closer to meet him. It’s more than you’ve ever felt before, a pleasure so sharp all you can do is hold on and let him take you there.  

The room around you disappears, the storm outside silenced, everything reduced to the sound of your rapid breathing and the steady, relentless slap of his hips against yours. You’re not sure how much longer you can last like this, every thrust tearing you apart and putting you back together, and Ni-ki seems to sense it.  

He presses his face to your neck, teeth grazing lightly against your skin as he drives into you with increasing urgency. “Gonna make you come so hard,” he promises, voice almost desperate.  

Your body is already responding, tension coiling tighter, tighter, until it’s all you can do to gasp his name.  

He snakes a hand between your bodies, thumb finding your clit with shocking precision, and you’re done for. The coil snaps, the world shatters like glass, and you come so hard you might actually be crying, though you can’t tell for sure.  

He’s right there with you. The sensation of you clenching around him drags him over the edge, a deep groan escaping as he pulses inside you. 

He spills into you with a groan, his body shuddering against yours, warmth flooding you in hot, dizzying waves. He’s beautiful like this, you think dimly, and you cling to the thought as you hold on to him, riding out the last of it together.  

In the aftermath, you both lie there, tangled in a mess of limbs and sheets, struggling to catch your breath. The world comes back into focus slowly- the quiet hum of the heater, the gentle patter of snow against the window, the steady beat of Ni-ki’s heart beating in rhythm with yours. 

“Wow,” you whisper, still half-dazed, still wondering if you dreamed the whole thing. 

He laughs softly, brushing a damp strand of hair off your forehead. “Wow,” he agrees, his fingers trailing lightly down your side, leaving a pleasant shiver in their wake.  

You don’t know how long you stay like this, just holding each other, neither of you quite willing to move yet. Long enough for the sweat to cool on your skin, long enough for your breathing to even out, long enough for the reality of what just happened to sink in. 

He shifts eventually, rolling onto his side, facing you fully. You match his movement, settling into the warmth of him, the steady rise and fall of his breathing lulling you into a blissful haze.

“Hey,” he murmurs. 

“Mhm?” 

“Why didn’t you let me watch you change earlier?” 

“Huh?” you ask, recalling your previous interaction. 

“I mean, I was going to see you naked anyways,” he teases.

You poke his side, feeling him squirm just slightly, a breathless chuckle escaping your lips. “Shut up.” 

For some reason, writing about sex is way more nerve wracking than actually having sex. Also, if you haven't watched ‘It Takes Two’ idk what you're doing. pls go watch it rn. Best movie ever, literally. I think I may have watched it more than 20 times since I was 5. Comment and reblog if you enjoyed it. Thanks for making it to the end, -EL (masterlist)

[jenscx]

MAGNETIC — yu jimin x f!reader

it was your very first time appearing solo on a variety show. was it a blessing or a curse that you ended up paired with aespa’s leader?

TAGS — fluff, self-on kode, lesserafim member!yn, flirty!karina, mostly texting, short oneshot, call it want you want (pt2)

WORDCOUNT — 1.4k

you were unsure about attending a variety show alone, especially one that had garnered a lot of attention lately. self-on kode, broadcasted on youtube. it was going to be your first time appearing solo, without the safety of your group mates. naturally introverted, you allowed your more outgoing members to lead the conversation, like yunjin, who was basically your saviour.

barely having a chance to greet the staff, you were quickly ushered into the seat. behind you, a pink wall separated you and your mystery partner. you had hoped they were going to be someone your age. it was already awkward talking to a stranger, but if it was a senior? you shuddered.

“y/n-ssi,” the director handed you the noise-cancelling airpods. you nodded at him gratefully and the cameras started rolling.

the chat was empty for a while and you almost started typing when a greeting came.

tonkatsu:

hello~~

i am tonkatsu ^^

you raised an eyebrow at the strange nickname. tonkatsu? like the food?

babybird:

hello, i am babybird

(“why did i choose the name tonkatsu?” jimin repeated, a smirk on her face, “i was feeling hungry.”

“babybird, or ahgase is the fandom of got7,” you explain, cheeks flushed, “i am a fan of theirs.”)

tonkatsu:

how are u today?

i was very excited to film!

you giggle, why did they answer their own question?

babybird:

i was nervous, it’s my first time appearing solo

tonkatsu:

ure in a group, babybird-nim ^^?

oh shit, you thought. with the staff laughing at your misfortune, you struggle to come up with a suitable reply to tonkatsu.

tonkatsu:

i think ure more shy than me

babybird:

is that a good thing?

tonkatsu:

oh? definitely not hehe

you roll your eyes at their reply. they were so annoying! cheeks puffed out, you continue typing.

babybird:

what’s with your name?

it’s a little strange..

tonkatsu:

i just like it

i’m really hungry now

i’m on a diet :((

babybird:

so you’re an idol?

your eyes gleam with amusement. your partner had just revealed a very important detail about her—

tonkatsu:

yes!

what the…

babybird:

why did you admit that so easily? ^^;;

normally people would hide that fact

tonkatsu:

but can u guess which idol i am~~

(jimin stares blankly at the camera, “of course i hadn’t expected babybird to pick up on my mistake but i had to show them that everything i did was intentional!”

“i thought it was very smart of them to reveal it,” you say, “it is hard to find out which idol my partner was.” the subtitle underneath you says, she was fooled.)

tonkatsu:

what’s ur mbti, babybird?

babybird:

i forgot… i think istj?

tonkatsu:

enfp, wow

babybird:

we’re complete opposites…

tonkatsu:

opposites attract tho?

you internally palm your face. the staff laughs at your misfortune of being partnered with a flirting expert. it was only fate for you to meet someone so…

babybird:

what’s with your flirting?

didn’t you say you were shy?

tonkatsu:

i guess it comes out naturally with u

u shld feel honoured!

i am quite the catch

babybird:

ok, let’s move on :)

do you have siblings?

tonkatsu:

just an unnie ^^

ah…

babybird:

you’re a girl.

was this time on purpose?

tonkatsu:

are u a guy or a girl?

wow, she just completely ignored you. but from the way she reacted, it was a mistake.

babybird:

guess?

tonkatsu:

this is what im hoping for!

a girl!

babybird:

oh..!

are you a prophet?

the camera pans to jimin who laughs at your absurd comment. the director holds up a sign which catches your attention; show your partner your home screen.

tonkatsu:

[image attached]

“homescreen,” you squint your eyes, “do you mean screen time…?”

tonkatsu:

why are u taking so long?

are u a boomer?

babybird:

[image attached]

watch your mouth

why is your homescreen so messy?

tonkatsu:

did u just buy ur phone lol

it’s so empty..

babybird:

wow we do not match each other

tonkatsu:

how many people do u live with?

babybird:

you tell me first

tonkatsu:

3 other people!

jimin smirks, “if they’re smart enough, they’ll think of aespa!”

meanwhile, you shudder at the thought of another 4 member girl group. “ah… do you guys have enough budget to host blackpink?”

tonkatsu:

answer my question! ^^

babybird:

nope! it’s a secret :)

tonkatsu:

hey!!!

that’s so unfair

i revealed mine to u

:((

babybird-nim…

babybird:

your begging won’t do anything

tonkatsu:

but…

don’t u think i’m cute?

babybird:

?!

what.

tonkatsu:

LMAO

i’m just kidding~

“why did you pair me up…” you mutter, “with a weirdo?” the staff laughs at your remark while jimin looks around warily, “are you guys laughing at me?”

babybird:

you’re an interesting person.

tonkatsu:

that sounds backhanded

babybird:

i live alone

(“i felt like lying to her. she kept teasing me, so it only felt right to lie, and i didn’t want her to know which group i’m from,” you say.)

tonkatsu:

oh!!

are u a soloist?

or…

are u older? ^^

your face of astonishment draws out more laughter. what the hell. you think. jimin, on the other side, just laughs quietly at herself and your silence.

(“it was my first time ever, having someone insinuate that i was old,” you say, “i was slightly shocked.”

“it wasn’t meant to be rude or anything, just to draw out a reaction,” jimin explains. the subtitle reads, the power of enfp.)

babybird:

do i seem old?

tonkatsu:

ah…

maybe? a little

i like older women tho :))

can i call u unnie?

let’s talk informally

babybird:

wow you type fast.

and i didn’t say i was older

what if i was in my 40s?

tonkatsu:

i’ll act polite when we meet

over chat, let’s be friends!

babybird:

your way of thinking…

it’s amazing

tonkatsu:

i know right!!

only u understand me

do u like watching dramas?

babybird:

oh!

i watched pyramid game

tonkatsu:

who’s ur favourite character?

babybird:

suji or maybe doah!

tonkatsu:

do u like bona sunbaenim?

babybird:

yes!!

i watched 2521 too!

she’s really pretty…

tonkatsu:

babybird-nim.

babybird:

yes?

tonkatsu:

who’s prettier?

me or bona sunbaenim

babybird:

lol i don’t even know you

tonkatsu:

based off the vibe ^^

babybird:

bona sunbaenim

no doubt haha

jimin pouts. the director holds up another sign; share your playlist with your partner.

tonkatsu:

[image attached]

babybird:

[image attached]

tonkatsu:

oh! u like aespa?

babybird:

yes…

i like dreams come true

and thirsty the most

tonkatsu:

i like aespa too!!

who’s ur bias?

babybird:

maybe… winter?

but i like them all

(“how did you feel when she said winter was her bias, and not karina?” the director asks. jimin sighs dramatically, “i guess, disappointed. i thought she would be drawn to me.”)

tonkatsu:

ah…

the disappointment is evident.

babybird:

do you have a bias?

tonkatsu:

karina obv!

she’s super pretty

babybird:

yes, i agree

tonkatsu:

but why is winter ur bias?

babybird:

i feel that she’s more relatable

karina is someone i would just stare at

i would never dare to talk to her

tonkatsu:

oh, why?

babybird:

she’s too pretty.

you further elaborate, “i saw her backstage before. she’s actually so pretty i couldn’t even move, one of my members had to nudge me.”

jimin, on the other hand, is flattered.

“she’s saying i’m too pretty to be her bias?” she laughs.

babybird:

let’s hold hands

tonkatsu:

so suddenly?

babybird:

the director told me to tell you ^^

tonkatsu:

LOL okay

you stand up from your chair, inching closer to the corner of the pink wall. your heart is beating a mile, pounding against your rib cage as you extend your hand, meeting the stranger’s. your first thought is that the hand is warm, and way bigger than yours. both hands interlink, you hold your breath. only when the stranger gives a squeeze, you let go, a pink flush on your face.

tonkatsu:

that was heart-fluttering

babybird:

your hand is so warm

tonkatsu:

was it nice?

after this, let’s hold hands more

(“i was thinking… is she crazy? or just flirty,” you groan, “everytime she would say something flirty and i didn’t know how to respond.”)

eventually, the chat ends abruptly. you sigh, stretching as you stand up again. you hear shuffles from the other side. strangely, your palms are sweaty and you feel suffocated.

a head peeks out from the other side.

“oh my god.”

“you tricked me!” are yu jimin’s first words to you. the stunning leader stands in front of you, mouth agape and all you can think about is how you basically confessed your love for her.

she moves closer to you, “so you were lying about living alone?”

“payback to you teasing me,” you answer, your throat feeling oddly dry. jimin laughs heartily, “how could i not tease when your reactions are so cute?”

the camera pans to you two sitting down, the director asks, “so will we see you holding hands more often?”

“yes, definitely!” jimin answers, beaming. you splutter indignantly while hiding your red face in your hair.

she turns to you, “i said we would hold hands more, right?”

you can only nod. who were you to deny yu jimin?

[inuyashaluver]

seeing nimah with the baby was so cute! would you ever write nimah x reader maybe they visit reader’s family and they see how nimah interacts with the little one then they start asking reader about when they want kids but it’s not something reader and nimah have discussed so reader thinks nimah’s discomfort around the issue is because she doesn’t want kids but nimah just doesn’t know how to express that she wants to start thinking about their future so hurt/comfort and the common misunderstanding trope! Just an idea I had an wanted to share 🤍

are you kidding? - niamh charles

niamh charles x reader

description: in which you and niamh both want kids but are unsure how to express it

warnings: little tears, swearing, IM RUSTY

a/n: again, how do you people expect me to see a picture and react normally, I LOVE THIS WOMAN, thank you so so much for the request, much love, enjoy!!

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it was rare that you and your girlfriend, niamh, had a disagreement. the two of you were very big on communication and outwardly expressing your feelings if you were angry, uncomfortable, sad, it didn’t matter.

talking for the two of you has always been important ever since the two of you started dating.

this was mainly due to the fact of niamh being hopeless when it came to flirting with you. you believing for a long time that she didn’t like you.

—

the girl was hopeless around you, not knowing how to act around you even though she’d known you ever since the england youth camps.

you always flirted with her and she didn’t know how to react, she’d be cocky at first but immediately faltered when you’d send her a charming smile. especially when she signed to your team chelsea back in 2020.

“hey, niamhy” you smiled kindly at her as you entered the chelsea change rooms, seeing niamh chatting along with zećira.

they both stop the conversation when they see you, niamh pink in the cheeks at seeing your sweet smile.

“hey, (y/n/n)” she breathes out, watching as you make your way over to both her and zećira. “hey, any plans for later? there’s a new cafe down the street that i want to try” you ask, making sure to look at niamh directly when you asked the question.

zećira chuckles at niamh’s surprised expression, sending you a little wink, niamh swallows, “i’m free, are you free?” she turns to zećira, “no, no, i’m not sorry” zećira grins, you smile at both of them expectantly.

this wasn’t the first time you had attempted to ask niamh on a date, the brunette always managing to bring someone else along to make it a group hangout rather than just the two of you.

“niamh” you call out, meeting her blue eyes with a sheepish smile, “i was hoping it would just be us two” niamh’s eyebrows raise slightly, both of your hearts pulsing with anticipation.

“oh” she chuckles nervously, “okay, let’s do it” she utters, “it’s a date” you wink, walking out of the change room, as you were already changed.

niamh watches you go and as soon as she sees your frame out of the door, she slaps zećira harshly on the leg.

“ow! what?” she winces, shoving niamh back, “i’m going on a fucking date” niamh exclaims, fiddling with the end of her shorts.

“it’s a good thing niamhy” niamh nods unconvinced, she’s been crushing on you ever since she was 15. how could you like her back?

and of course the date went well, once you outwardly told niamh that you actually liked her, the cocky, confident niamh that made you shy came out.

—

you and niamh had been dating for just over 3 years, both of you moved in and were extremely loved up with each other.

it was a sunny day in london when your family arranged a gathering with a bunch of your family members.

part of your invitation was with the insistence that your girlfriend came along, a family favourite for everyone.

“don’t you look gorgeous” niamh grinned as she watched you adjust your outfit in front of the mirror, coming over and standing behind you with her arms wrapped around your waist.

you smile and lean back into her when she presses a kiss to your cheek, “you look beautiful, baby” you grin at her in the mirror, letting her spin you to press a sweet kiss to your lips.

“ready to go?” she murmured against your lips, you nod, pecking her lips quickly and grabbing both of her hands.

“my family is a lot, if it gets too much, we can leave, okay?” niamh rolls her eyes fondly, kissing your forehead quickly before pulling you into a little hug.

“love, i’m fine” she assured, dragging you to the car excitedly at the thought of spending time with you and your family.

she squeezes your thigh excitedly as she drove, letting you give her a game plan on how to approach each and every family member in attendance, chuckling to herself that you did this every time she met them.

—

you grip her hand tightly when you reached the door of your aunt’s house, niamh giving your hand three squeezes for reassurance.

you look at her with a bright smile, about to ask for a kiss until the door was thrusted open by your aunt looking extremely tired.

“hello, lovebirds!” she grins, you and niamh returning the greeting with kisses to the cheeks and tight hugs.

niamh places a hand on the small of your back as you both went around and did the rounds, engaging in conversation after conversation with both of you sporting bright smiles.

“so niamh, are you looking after our girl?” one of your uncles said, you smile shyly when niamh presses a kiss to your temple, pulling you closer to her side.

“always, she has to take care of me more because she’s an angel” she smiles down at you, eyes full of adoration, drinking in your pink cheeks.

—

before the food even came out, you dragged niamh to the side of the backyard with a heavy sigh, thumping your forehead on her collarbone.

she chuckles, her arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer, “you okay?” she whispers next to your ear, you mumble a yes against her, your arms going around her neck to hug her tightly before your name was screamed from the kitchen.

you groan, trying to hold on to niamh but the brunette pushed you back slightly, kissing you quickly and ushering you to help out.

you pout at her but leave reluctantly, knowing the longer you weren’t in that kitchen, the longer the lecture and you’d rather avoid one altogether.

niamh walked around your aunt’s backyard and settled in with the kids playing football. the kids always loved niamh and she’d often resort to them rather than the adults for some fun.

“niamhy, play with us!” one of your younger cousins grabbed her hand and dragged her over, smiling up at her with a toothy grin. niamh was quick to agree, smiling equally as excited.

“niamhy, you’re not kicking right” one of your cousins grumbled, she giggled brightly, apologising and letting the small boy adjust her movements the way he wanted.

it was until one of your much younger cousins, a one year old, was thrusted into niamh’s arms that she slowed down her movements.

the baby uncommonly fell asleep on niamh’s shoulder as soon as she was perched on her hip, much to the surprise of your family.

the baby was usually a handful and found it difficult to fall asleep. but niamh managed to get her to sleep in two minutes.

she was turned into a referee quickly and took her job seriously, only letting them get away with little fouls because they were having so much fun.

the kids all loved her, and so did the adults. niamh’s bright smile was hard to miss when you came back outside with platters of food.

you place the food down on the table and take in the scene in front of you. niamh with a baby on her hip while she giggled and refereed the game. to say your ovaries exploded was an understatement.

“that will be you soon” your aunt teases, you give her an expression of shock, stuttering on your words saying niamh wasn’t ready for kids, as the two of you hadn’t really discussed it.

both of you knew you wanted to spend forever together, that was common knowledge. but kids just hadn’t been brought up yet, you’d shown an interest but niamh ever really expressed a huge interest.

she’d coo over her friend’s kids, your family, her family but you never knew if she wanted some of her own.

niamh did want kids of her own but she didn’t know how to express it to you, not really knowing how you felt about them.

everyone got ushered to the table and niamh’s face brightened when she saw you, walking over to you gently to keep your cousin sleeping soundly against her.

she greets you with a soft kiss before she pulled out your chair with one hand, winking when you took your seat.

she sits down carefully, eating with your cousin sleeping soundly on her shoulder. “here, baby, let me hold her for a bit so you can eat” you offer but niamh shakes her head, letting go of her fork and holding your hand for a second.

“i’m okay, i’m the chosen one” she grins at you, you giggle, leaning over to kiss her cheek softly before you eventually end up feeding her the food on her plate because she was so focused on keeping your cousin comfortable.

—

when you both made it to the car after the gathering, you and niamh both let out a heavy sigh when you sat down, quickly breaking into a fit of giggles.

“high five, we did it” you chuckle when niamh holds her hand out to you, you slap her hand with yours, niamh’s fingers moving to interlace your fingers, pulling your hand to her mouth to press a gentle kiss over the back of it.

“we did it” you grin at her cheekily, niamh not missing the twinkle in your eye as you looked at her. “why are you looking at me like that?” niamh breathes out, cheeks turning a little pink at your look of adoration.

“nothing” you shrug, ushering her to start the car, she narrows her eyebrows at you but gives in, lacing your hands together and starting the car.

“you were so good with my cousins today, you know?” you glance over at her nervously, “they’re all so cute, i love spending time with them” she grins while watching the road, what she didn’t see was the tears brimming in your eyes.

you were overwhelmed with emotion for some reason, really wishing seeing niamh with the kids were your own.

it was until she heard a sniffle and felt the loosened grip of your hand in hers that she noticed. she glanced over quickly and panicked, thankfully able to park on the side of the road.

“babe?” niamh calls out softly, holding your hand tightly and taking off her seatbelt quickly. she ducks her head to make eye contact with you but you couldn’t look at her, overwhelmed with the feeling of embarrassment.

“hey” she gives your hand a squeeze, her free hand directing your jaw to look at her, meeting her eyes with a tearful expression.

“what’s wrong, my love?” you shake your head at her, letting out another sniffle, “nothing, i’m fine” you attempt to reassure her but she knows you too well, knowing you better than herself.

“baby, talk to me” she pleadingly whispers, you let out a shaky sigh, letting your girlfriend gently brush away the tears flowing down your cheeks.

“it’s stupid” you laugh wetly, niamh frowns at that, a scolding look almost. “nothing you feel is stupid, come on, baby, what’s wrong?” she gives you a reassuring smile, you can feel yourself calm down in an instant.

“when you were with my cousins, i couldn’t help but think about us” you said softly, almost impossible for niamh to hear but the small space in the car finally did her a favour.

“what about us, baby?” niamh digs a little further, her kind eyes making it easier to open up. “kids” you mutter, “our kids” niamh gives you a surprised expression, knowing the two of you haven’t really talked about this.

she also found it comical the two of you were parked up in a residential street 5 minutes from your home to discuss the topic.

“and i know you don’t want any with me and that’s okay, but i think the least you could do is get me a pet” you laugh wetly again, sniffling as you look at her,

“babe” she shakes her head, “are you kidding?” your eyes widen at her tone, she sounded a little offended and you were worried you overstepped.

“what?” niamh angles her body more towards you, “you really think i don’t want kids with you?” niamh’s eyebrows furrow again, face full of concentration as she analysed your facial expressions.

you shrug in response, a little hurt at the thought of niamh not wanting children with you.

“(y/n)” first name, this was serious, you thought.

“baby, i want nothing more than to have children with you, i always have” niamh pronounced, wiping away a stray tear from your cheek.

you look at her in slight shock, tracing her face for a lie and finding none, she was being honest.

“really?” you smile, she smiles back, happy to not see you crying anymore, “of course, my love, i’d get you pregnant right now if i could” she smirks suggestively, giving your hand another squeeze when she notices your pink cheeks.

“well, we better get home then” you tease, though niamh took it seriously, starting the car almost immediately and driving to your home.

literally dragging you out of the car and throwing you over her shoulder. sure, it couldn’t happen like this, but who are you to decline niamh?

—

you both discussed that children would happen a little later for the both of you, but it was certain to happen. you were both relieved to know what each other wanted.

you and niamh spent a lot more time babysitting cousins, nieces, nephews, dogs if you had to and it felt extremely natural and familiar for the both of you.

you were both excited for when those children would be yours, excited for what the future would hold.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill - pretend it’s you! ily pernille x

liked by _jessflem and 44,232 others

niamhcharles17: trying to steal the favourite cousin status from me

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yourname: she’s MY cousin

↳ niamhcharles17: OUR cousin

↳ yourname: i knew her first

↳ niamhcharles17: baby, i came with you to the hospital

↳ yourname: go away

zeciramusovic: waiting for your turn

↳ niamhcharles17: coming soon 😏

[dazedandconfused-15]

Heaven's in your eyes (Part 5)

I just wanted to apologise to everyone for going M.I.A. over the last few months. It's been a lot—new job, Christmas, etc. I haven't forgotten about this fanfic, nor have I forgotten how much love it's been receiving since the first chapter. Thank you again, guys. SMUT is coming VERY soon, but remember, this is a slow burn… ;)

Summary: Life in Hawkins is dull and lonely, especially after your mom abandoned your family, leaving you even more isolated amidst school rumors. Already shy and with few friends, you find solace in your solitude—until Billy Hargrove, the intriguing new boy from California, comes into the picture. To your surprise, Billy seems to seek you out, finding ways to talk to you despite the odds. Never in a million years would you have imagined forming such an unexpected bond with someone.

Link to: Part 1 Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4

@tatumrileyslover @littlenosoul @the-freak-cassie-313 @rainy-darling @nina-from-317 @galacticglitterglue @stanseventeen @sakurasimppp @seedlingghost @losingmygrasponreality @mindsofjade @insomniacfigure

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The day you return to school comes far too soon. You managed to get by by skipping Friday, but today is Monday, and you can’t afford to miss another day. The lessons are piling up, and with tests looming closer—especially as the end of the year nears—catching up is no longer an option.

This morning, your dad dropped you off before heading to work. When you close the car door behind you and face the school building, you take a shaky breath. You’re prepared to face whatever consequences come from your decisions, but you can’t shake the tight knot of anxiety in your stomach.

You scan the parking lot filled with students, searching for the familiar faces of Tina, Vicky, or Carol, but you don’t see them. Instead, your gaze lands on Billy. He’s leaning against the side of his car, chatting with Max. Max has her backpack slung over one shoulder and his skateboard on the other, while Billy pulls a cigarette from his pack, both of them seemingly deep in some animated argument.

You hesitate. Do you approach him? You called him the day after that night, like he asked, and he reassured you that Monday would be fine—that you shouldn’t worry. But after that, you didn’t hear from him. You’re left with no clue where you stand with him. After that kiss... what are you? Are you still friends? Or something more?

You try to push away any hope, but a small part of you can’t help it. The uncertainty lingers, weighing on you.

As if he feels the pressure of your gaze, Billy turns his head. Your eyes meet.

Max, still talking and gesturing, notices Billy’s gaze and follows it to where you’re standing. Billy lifts his hand, waving for you to join them. You tighten your grip on the strap of your backpack, walking toward them, mentally preparing for whatever might happen.

“You okay?” Billy asks when you reach them.

“Hey, yeah.”

Billy glances back at Max. “You got that?”

“Billy, it’s not like I’m…”

“I don’t care,” he cuts Max off sharply. Max opens her mouth, as if she’s about to protest, but then thinks better of it. She looks away, her expression a mix of scowl and concern. You’re not sure what’s going on, but Billy doesn’t seem to notice. His blue eyes remain locked on her face, intense and unwavering. “You really want that to happen again? Do you like pushing him until things blow up?”

“Of course I don’t!” she scowls, looking back at him. 

“Then stop being so goddamn stubborn and do as I say.” Billy lights a cigarette, his eyes staying fixed on Max. You shift uncomfortably, unsure whether to look away or stay. This moment between the two step-siblings feels more personal than you’re ready for, and you're left wondering what's going on.

“You’ll have plenty of time on the weekends. Otherwise, it’s straight home after school.”

“Alright.” Max grits her teeth as she says it, though it’s clear her frustration is with the situation rather than Billy himself.

Billy watches her for a long moment, taking a drag from his cigarette as if assessing whether she’s truly accepted his ultimatum. Max holds his gaze at first but eventually looks away, her discomfort evident, even though she tries to hide it. Billy’s stare is intense, like he’s daring her to challenge him again.

“You’re gonna be late. Go to class.” Billy jerks his chin toward Hawkins Middle School, a few feet away from the high school. “I’ll see you by the car at four.”

Max says a soft “hi” to you before leaving, heading off with her skateboard. You watch her go in silence, your eyes shifting back to Billy as the tension lingers in the air.

“Is everything okay?”

Billy exhales a long sigh, tapping the cigarette and flicking the ashes onto the ground. “Yeah. Just gotta remind her how things work around here from time to time.”

“She seems upset…”

“Well, next time, she better listen so she won’t be.”

You notice the tense set of his jaw and the way his gaze stays locked on Max’s retreating figure, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him like this—so tightly wound.

“Billy…” you say softly. “It’s normal for a kid her age to push boundaries sometimes.”

“Not in this household.” Billy shakes his head, his hand holding the cigarette rising to his face as he scratches his eyebrow with an irritated flick of his thumb. “And she knows it. She fucking knows it. But she keeps going rogue.” You fall silent, sensing the weight in his words, and your nerves spike as you wonder if there’s something deeper behind this. You don’t want to push him to talk, but you can feel the storm brewing inside him.

He takes a drag from his cigarette, his hand trembling slightly before he speaks again. “Neil went ballistic last night.”

“What did he do?” you ask, a wave of concern rushing through you. “Did he hurt her?”

“No.” Billy’s voice is rough, but he shakes his head, his eyes flicking away for a moment. “He got close, but…”

“Oh God…”

“It’s fine. He didn’t touch her. I stepped in before it got worse.”

Billy’s gaze stays fixed on the distance past your shoulder. It’s obvious he’s trying to push the conversation away, but you can sense there’s more that he’s not saying.

“So he hit you?” you ask, a knot of dread forming deep in your chest. Billy shakes his head, letting out a frustrated sigh as he shifts against the car, finally meeting your gaze again.

“I’m fine. He was too drunk to even hit me properly.”

Relief washes over you, and you nod, taking in a breath. “Alright, but—this can’t keep going on…”

Before you can finish, Billy surprises you, reaching out and pulling you close by the waist. Your hands land against his chest, and you’re suddenly close enough to feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under your palms.

“Hey, it’s all good. I’ve got it,” he reassures you, his voice softer now, but the intensity is still there, buried under the surface. 

This closeness leaves you momentarily speechless, sending your mind into a tailspin. You try to pull yourself together, feeling your heartbeats quicken as you're flush against him. “But…”

“It’s always a rollercoaster with him. As long as we know how to move around him it’s gonna be ok.” still holding you against him with his other hand, he brings the cigarette to his mouth and takes another puff. You’re too entranced by his scent, his red mouth as he exhales the smoke on the side to avoid blowing it on your face. “Stop worrying so much.”

You shake your head in defeat, your mind silently racing as he finishes his cigarette. There is a reason why you worry so much. Billy can downplay it all he wants, but you are fully aware of what his father represents. You have seen it on his skin, in his eyes and in his attitude when he’s around older men. Max is so young and you are certain that Neil has touched her mother as well. You wonder what she looks like; you've never met her. Billy brings you back to the present moment by gently squeezing your waist. His tourmaline eyes roam over your face. The combination of his gaze, so casual, and his warm hand touching your body sends you into heat. 

“You good?” 

You know what he’s referring to. For a moment you stopped thinking about it. Now it comes back in full force and your anxiety is increasing with every second. You feel overwhelmed by this emotion along with how flush his closeness makes you feel. Your mouth feels dry.  “I don’t know. I don’t know how it’s gonna be.” 

“You’re fine. Nothing’s gonna happen. Alright?” 

You nod, unconvinced, and as he brings his face closer to yours, his breath fanning over your face, mint an tobacco. Your heart races quickly as his lips brush against yours. You struggle to realise it, you didn't think he would kiss you again so soon. You certainly didn't think he would kiss you here. It is as if an electric shock was born from your kiss. The surprise triggered by the fact that what happened the other night is not just a vague memory makes you even more euphoric. His hands tighten their grip on your waist, pulling you flush against him. You completely ignore the risk of burning yourself with his cigarette, which continues to die slowly, held between the fingers of his free hand. You rest your hands on his shoulders, denim against your skin. The rest of the people, the sounds around you disappear. You are awash in the passion with which he kisses you, makes you euphoric. His hand leaves your waist and comes to rest on your cheek and you give him space, your hands descend to his chest. The sound of the bell breaks the moment, but you both seem to struggle to break the kiss. You are aware that you must enter the building but each time you pull your lips away Billy chases you, urging you to chase him back. After an eternity, perhaps because you are both out of breath, your lips part with difficulty and you squint, dazed. Your mind tries to regain focus as they move from his heated gaze to where your hands lie against his chest, tucked white shirt in denim jeans. His necklace. He squeezes your waist, as he exhales against your lips. You do not dare to meet his gaze because you know you would not be able to resist him. You have to go back to class. Billy seems to think the same as you because he pulls his face away slightly, bringing the cigarette back to his mouth between the two of you. It is now practically finished. Tilts his head back as he exhales. You eye his Adam apple. 

“Well, shit.” he clears his throat, a chuckle leaving his lips as his eyes briefly look past your shoulder. This makes you feel hotter, flattered by his exclamation. You understand very well what he feels. You feel yourself going up in flames as much as he does. “Guess we gotta go now,” he mutters, his eyes finding yours. 

It is as if he is seeking your confirmation.  It's clear that neither of you wants to move from here. 

“Yeah. Yes, let's go,” you nod, shaken and still dazed. You move away from him slowly, aware that if you moved too quickly you would stumble or lose your balance. 

Most of the students have already entered the building, but some of them are lounging by the entrance, and some of them are looking at you and Billy as you both walk in. It is likely, indeed certain, that they have seen you back in the parking lot. You decide to ignore their persistent stares completely. You feel relieved when you notice the absence of familiar faces once you are in the main hallway. Maybe you can avoid unpleasant situations at least until lunchtime. You turn to Billy, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. It's time to part. You won’t share History class together today. 

“I'll stay in the library to study later today,” you inform him. You have a habit of always going home together, but you have a Chemistry test in two days and need to study.

Billy doesn’t look at you. His eyes are fixed on something to your right. You know that look. You follow his gaze and spot Tommy Hagan by the trophy cases at the end of the hallway.

“Billy?”

“You said Carol was with Tina that day?” His voice is low, but it’s more of a statement than a question. Your heart sinks as you quickly put the pieces together.

“No, Billy, please don’t make a scene.”

His eyes never meet yours. “It’s alright.”

“Billy—”

Billy whistles sharply, cutting you off. “Hey, Hagan!” Tommy Hagan turns around, his indifferent expression shifting to concern when he sees Billy heading his way. You hesitate behind him, dread pooling in your stomach. What is Billy going to do?

“Can I have a word?” Billy calls out as he strides toward Tommy.

Tommy glances between Billy and you, uncertainty written across his face. “Uh, sure.”

“Your girlfriend and I have a problem,” Billy starts, his tone sharp. You feel agitation rise in your chest, already dreading where this is going.

Tommy’s brows furrow. “What?”

“Tell her to quit bothering her.” Billy points to you with a sharp motion of his thumb. Tommy’s gaze follows Billy’s direction, then his expression shifts into one of incredulity, followed by a short burst of laughter.

“What? Are you s—”

Billy cuts him off. “See, I don’t beat up girls.” his tone casual, almost dismissive. “I’m not an animal. But if she doesn’t stop with the bitching right now, it’s your ass next.”

You rush toward them, tugging weakly at Billy’s arm as students begin to slow down, watching the scene unfold. “Billy, come on.”

Billy doesn’t budge. He looks at Tommy, who’s starting to squirm under the pressure, and adds, “You got the hint pretty quickly. So why don’t you do the same with her? Update her on how things are gonna be from now on. I won’t be so nice next time.”

The calmness in Billy’s voice is chilling, but his eyes are a storm, seething beneath the surface. “You hear me?” he asks, tilting his head to the side, his blue eyes piercing through Tommy like a warning.

Tommy stiffens, looking down, unable to hold eye contact. He nods several times, trying to keep his composure. “Yeah, man. Safe and sound.”

Billy nods, slaps Tommy on the shoulder with a casual, almost condescending gesture. “Thanks.”

As you both walk side by side down the corridor, you feel the weight of everyone’s gaze, the whispers and stares burning a hole through you. You can’t shake the feeling that every step is being scrutinized.

Luckily, you don’t share first period with Tina. Chemistry is just Carol and Vicky, and while they shoot you their usual derisive looks, they don’t say a word. Without Tina, they seem to lose their bite, their presence fading without their leader to prop them up. It suits you just fine.

The rest of the morning goes by without any issues, but by the time lunch ends and Math class rolls around, unease settles in your stomach. Tina is in that class with you. When she walks in, you brace yourself, expecting some kind of confrontation. But instead, she just shoots you a dark look and storms past your desk without a word. Her footsteps are heavy, her scowl deep. You hear her drop onto her chair behind you with a loud thud, the sound making you tense.

You’ve never seen her like this.

The teacher walks in, pulling her things from her duffle bag as the usual classroom chatter hums around you. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Carol abruptly getting up from her seat next to Vicky and making a beeline for Tina. Your stomach tightens. You risk a glance their way. They’re whispering, fast and animated, their heads ducked close. It doesn’t look good.

As if sensing your gaze, Tina looks up—and locks eyes with you.

Her icy stare makes you go stiff. She tongues her cheek, her expression a mix of defiance and contempt. You swallow and turn back to your desk, willing yourself to ignore it.

The rest of the afternoon drags unbearably slow. You wait for something to happen, for one of them to approach you between classes, to say something, do something. But nothing comes. By the time the final bell rings, you take your time packing up, head down, hoping to avoid them in the hallway. But they don’t even acknowledge you as they leave.

Relief floods you when you’re the last to say goodbye to the teacher. You make it to the library without issue, slipping inside where it’s mostly empty—most students eager to escape the school building as soon as possible. You pass a quiet boy from your class who glances up at the sound of your footsteps, offering you a shy smile before returning to his book.

You settle at one of the farthest tables, tucked behind a bookshelf. No one bothers you, but focusing is impossible. Your thoughts spiral. Tina’s strange behavior, Billy. Especially Billy.

His hands. His lips. His gaze.

The two kisses.

By the time you’re leaving the building, your mind is still clouded with him. You’re nearly at the exit when you hear male voices behind you. Then, a whistle.

Your body tenses instinctively, already on guard, ready to shut down whoever decided to be an idiot today. But when you turn around, you’re met with a different sight.

Billy.

“Hey.” he approaches you with his sports bag slung over his shoulder, his teammates behind him.

“Hey..” 

“See ya, man.” the boys greet him, throwing you a brief glance as they all walk past you. 

“I didn’t know you had practice today.”

Billy shrugs. “Didn’t know either, they moved it from Friday to tonight.” 

His hair has lost some of its volume, damp curls falling over his forehead, with smaller strands clinging to his neck. He’s wearing gray sweatpants and a t-shirt under his denim jacket, nothing like what you’re used to seeing him in. Usually, when he has practice, you go home alone.

The sight of him like this stirs something in you, something you can’t quite put into words. There’s a familiarity to it, a quiet intimacy. Stripped of leather, denim, silver rings, and a perfectly styled haircut, he feels… softer. Warmer. Like home.

“Watcha still doing here?” he asks you. You can smell his shampoo mixed with his cologne. You try not to drop your eye on his mouth as he chews on a gum. 

“I was in the library.” he indeed wasn’t listening to you earlier this morning.

“Good thing I got practice then, huh?” he jerks his chin toward the exit behind you, as he starts walking toward it, so you follow along.

As you both step out of the high school, the heavy doors swinging shut behind you, you’re immediately met by the warmth of the evening air. The parking lot is bathed in golden light. The lingering heat from the sun settles over your skin like a comforting blanket, thick with the scent of summer grass and faint traces of freshly cut lawns from the nearby fields.

The sky is a vast canvas of soft, golden light, stretching high and clear, only just beginning to fade toward deeper blues at the edges.

“So how was your day?” he asks. 

“It was fine.”

“Yeah? Everything went well?”

You actually want to ask him if he had anything to do with Tina, Vicky and Carol's behaviour. But you prefer to wait until you are both in the car. 

“Yeah. How was yours? Was practice okay?”

“Not too bad. Coach gave us some shit 'cause the big game against Chesterton’s coming up. He says they’ve got a couple of new guys who are supposed to be real hotshots, so he’s on us to keep our heads in the game,” he says as he drops his sports bag in the trunk. “Keeps saying it’s our ‘chance to prove ourselves.’ Like winning every other game wasn’t enough.”

The sounds of the quiet parking lot surround you, the slamming of car doors, and the subtle echo of laughter from the rest of the basketball team as they all leave. 

“Is he always this harsh to you?” 

“Always is. Eh, who cares. Got used to it.”

The inside of the car is stifling after being parked in the sun all day, the black leather almost burning your skin as you sit down. You breathe a sigh of relief when Billy rolls down both windows, letting in a rush of fresh air.

“Yeah, it’s boiling in here. Do you have plans?” Billy asks as you pull out of the parking lot and onto the road.

“Not really, no,” you answer. During the week you normally just stay at home. You turn to look at him, curious. “Why?”

“Let’s head to the lake. Freshen up a bit.” 

“Oh. You wanna swim?” 

“Yeah, why not. It’s warm enough now.” 

You find yourself at a loss for words, his sudden offer making your stomach twist with unease. The two of you have never swum together, always staying near the water’s edge. You knew the time would come sooner or later if you kept going to Lovers Lake as summer arrived, but you didn’t expect it to be so soon. So, you come up with the lamest excuse possible.

“Uhm, can we do it another day? I don’t have my swimsuit with me.”

“We can stop by your house to get it.”

“But you don’t have your swimming trunks either.” 

Billy waves his hand in a dismissive gesture as he reaches for his pack of cigarettes. “Don’t need it. Just gonna use my gym shorts.”   

You find yourself speechless. Not knowing which excuse to find.

“Hey, if you don’t wanna-”

“No, no. I want to!” you rush. You don't want to miss an opportunity to spend time with him. Even if you have to risk him not liking what he sees once you’re in nothing but a swimsuit. “I was just... never mind. Let's go, let's stop at mine to pick it up.”

You tell Billy to wait in the car—you won’t be long. As soon as you shut the front door behind you, you rush to the bathroom, grabbing your razor in a frenzy. In your haste, you nick your calf, wincing as a thin line of red beads on your skin. But there’s no time to dwell on it. You finish up quickly, dart to your room, and snatch your bikini on the fly, slipping it on before pulling your clothes back over it.

When you step outside, you immediately spot Eddie Munson standing by the Camaro, right in front of Billy’s door. You haven’t seen him in days. His trailer door is open behind you, he must’ve stepped out when he heard the engine.

He glances up as you approach, offering a nod in greeting before turning his attention back to Billy. You catch the tail end of their conversation as Eddie gestures to one of the many tattoos inked across his bare forearm.

“...sick, man.”

“I can ink you up sometime. Just tell me your price and I’ll cut you a deal,” Eddie shrugs. “I’m flexible.” 

“Sweet. That’d be great.”

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Eddie straightens up, his gaze flicking to yours. You’ve never talked much. He seems like a nice guy, but there’s always been something about him that makes you a little hesitant, a little shy. Maybe it’s the ever-present chain hanging from his jeans. Maybe it’s the way he’s always dressed in black. “Hey. How’s it going?”

“Hi, not too bad,” you reply giving him a small smile. “How are you?”

“I’m good yeah. See you.” he starts walking backward toward his trailer, then points at Billy. “You got yourself a nice guy.” 

“Oh. It’s huh, it’s, wer-re not-” you stutter, feeling your cheeks heat up. Eddie throws his hands up in a quick, playful gesture — palms outward, fingers spread slightly, as if to say, "Alright, alright, I'll shut up." His grin is boyish and teasing.

“My bad! Didn’t mean to assume,” he chuckles, starting to backpedal toward his trailer. “Catch you later, neighbor.”

You glance at Billy as he leaves the dirt road and turns onto the main road. You hadn’t realized he and Eddie were so close—he never mentioned seeing him.

“Are you thinking of getting another one?”

“Huh?”

“Another tattoo,” you clarify.

“Oh.” A grin spreads across his face. “Yeah. Definitely. Got something in mind.”

“Where would you get it?” you ask, intrigued by his vague answer.

Silence.

You turn toward him in question, only to flinch slightly when you feel his fingers brush against your skin. He doesn’t take his eyes off the road as his fingertips graze your calf, his palm settling on your shin. A jolt of electricity shoots through you as you realize—this is his answer.

“Nothing too big,” he says. “Thinking red ink.”

“Oh.” You try to sound casual, as if his touch isn’t setting you on fire. “That sounds like a really cool idea.”

Billy hums in response, and the silence that follows is thick—charged—because his hand is still there, warm, his fingers idly stroking your skin. Luckily, your house is only half a mile from the lake. You’ll be there soon.

The water is still a little too cool for you, so after a quick dip, you climb out. Lover’s Lake is peaceful in the early summer evening, the water stretches wide and glassy, mirroring the sky’s soft hues. The air is thick with the scent of damp earth and pine, the occasional ripple breaking the surface as a fish moves below. A gentle breeze rustles the trees, carrying the faint sound of crickets just beginning their nightly chorus. The sun hasn’t set completely yet, but the sky is shifting—shadows stretching long over the dock, the horizon painted in streaks of orange and pink.

An hour later, you both end up in your usual spot—one of the docks where you’d sit to study or just unwind. Billy props himself up on his forearms beside you, his tanned arms illuminated by the fading sunlight. Your eyes drift over his sandy blond curls, messy from the water. You have the urge to run your fingers through them, but you hold back. You’re not sure you have that kind of confidence, not yet—not with him. Even though you’ve kissed twice now, you’re afraid of pushing too much.

“Jason’s throwing a party,” Billy says suddenly.

“Oh.” The statement catches you off guard. You watch as he pulls a cigarette from his pack and places it between his lips. “Jason as in Jason Carver?”

Billy nods as he lights the cigarette with one hand, his other arm still resting on the dock. For a brief moment, his eyelashes brush against his cheek, and you find yourself staring. You follow the movement of his hand, the way his thumb lingers on the grill of the lighter before he flicks it shut and places it back down. He takes a slow drag, then pulls the cigarette away, exhaling a cloud of smoke. You love his hands.

“Tomorrow.”

You assume he’s going. Billy has never missed a party. There are rumors about him being the life of them, and yet you struggle to reconcile that version of him—the one who drinks, fights, and lets loose—with the one sitting beside you now. The boy who lent you his jacket, who hugged you, who shares this quiet moment with you. The same boy who once punched someone so hard he knocked out a tooth, nearly sending him into a coma, blood splattering across the pavement.

“Will you go?” you ask, though you already know the answer.

Billy exhales another cloud of smoke, his voice slightly rough as he stifles a cough. “Yeah. Haven’t been to one in a while.”

You hum in acknowledgment, your gaze drifting toward the opposite shore. The sun has completely set now, and though the air is still warm, the sky has darkened. Your legs float lazily in the water, barely submerged. You’re not sure if you’d feel cold, but Billy doesn’t seem to mind.

“You should come.”

Your gaze snaps back to him. At first, you’re silent, caught between surprise and uncertainty, unsure if he’s being serious.

“Me?”

“You,” he repeats, eyes glinting with amusement.

“Billy.” You let out an uneasy laugh. “You know I’ve never been to any of those parties.”

“There’s always a first time.”

You’ve never felt comfortable with the idea of parties. You know you wouldn’t fit in, would probably feel out of place—maybe even unwelcome. Rejected. And after what happened with Tina, the thought of walking into one now feels even worse. You can’t hold your tongue now that it’s on your mind again.

“Can I ask what you told Tina earlier?”

Billy looks momentarily taken aback. Then he scratches his cheek with the hand holding his cigarette, his gaze shifting past you to where the Camaro is parked in the distance.

“Aw, why are you still thinking about that bitch? Forget her. She ain’t gonna do shit anymore.”

You nudge his arm lightly with your thigh, your voice gentle but firm. “Billy.”

He looks back at you. But he doesn’t answer. Instead, he takes a slow drag of his cigarette, exhaling as the silence stretches between you.

“What have you done?” 

For the first time, his expression shifts—like a door slamming shut between you. The warmth in his eyes cools, his features hardening in a way you’ve never seen before. His jaw tightens, lips pressing into a firm line as if holding something back. The cigarette lingers between his fingers, forgotten. When he finally speaks, his voice is steady, but there’s an edge to it, sharp and unwavering.

"What, you think I’d hit a woman?"

There’s no anger, no outburst—just a quiet offense, a distance that wasn’t there a moment ago. His gaze, once open and familiar, now feels just out of reach. 

The change in him is instant, and it hits you like a splash of cold water. Your stomach tightens. You don’t like this—this sudden distance, the way he looks at you like you're someone else entirely. 

“No, that’s not what I meant!”

The words rush out, a little too fast, a little too desperate to pull him back from whatever place he’s just gone to. But he doesn’t soften. He doesn’t say anything at all. Instead, he flicks the ash off his cigarette, his gaze drifting somewhere past you, jaw still locked tight.

You shift closer, hesitating before reaching for his arm. “Billy,” you say, quieter now, trying to catch his eyes. “I wasn’t accusing you. I just… I just want to know what happened.”

Still, nothing. The silence stretches, thick and heavy between you. It’s like watching a storm settle over the ocean—calm on the surface, but something deep and dangerous churning underneath.

Your chest tightens. You don’t like this. You don’t like how far away he suddenly feels.

“Please,” you murmur. “Talk to me.”

For a second, you think he might not answer. Then, finally, he exhales—sharp, controlled, smoke curling from his lips before he mutters, “Forget it.”

But you can’t. Not now. 

Your fingers tighten slightly on his arm. “Billy, please. I didn’t mean it like that.” You shake your head, exhaling sharply. “I shouldn’t have said it like that. It just—” You pause, searching for the right words, for something that will pull him back. “Tina looked at me like she wanted to kill me today. In class. Just full-on daggers in her eyes. But she never said a word. Never even walked up to me.”

His expression doesn’t shift immediately, but you see the smallest flicker of something—acknowledgment, maybe. You push forward.

“I don’t get it,” you continue, voice softer now, careful. “I know she hates me, I could feel it. But she just sat there, staring. Why? What happened?”

Billy exhales slowly through his nose, still distant, but the tension in his jaw eases—just a little. The silence stretches, but this time, it feels different. Less cold. More like he’s deciding something.

Finally, he takes another slow drag of his cigarette, then speaks. “I talked to her earlier.”

You wait, but he doesn’t say anything else. That’s not enough. You need more.

“What did you say to her?”

Billy exhales. “Told her whatever this thing is she’s got with you, it’s done. That I don’t want to hear about it, and she sure as hell better not try dragging me into it.” his voice is calm but firm, no room for argument. “Told her to get over it and move the fuck on.”

His confession stirs something warm inside you, something that spreads too fast, too deep. The conviction in his voice, the way he says it like it’s the simplest truth in the world—it’s almost too much. You swallow hard, trying to process it, but the feeling is overwhelming, almost suffocating in its intensity.

Billy shifts beside you, exhaling sharply through his nose like he’s only just realizing how serious he sounded. He drags a hand through his hair, ruffling the curls at the nape of his neck, then drops it, fingers tapping idly against the dock. He doesn’t meet your eyes right away, gaze flicking toward the water instead.

“Thank you,” you say eventually, your voice quieter than you intended. “I just don’t want you getting antagonized by everyone because of me. That’s the last thing I want.”

Billy scoffs, a short, dismissive laugh. “As if I give a shit what these hick townies think of me.”

You don’t respond. Instead, you watch as he stubs out his cigarette against the wooden dock beside your legs. He seems so sure of what he’s saying. And deep down, you’ve always known it to be true—Billy has never cared about anyone’s opinion. You’ve seen it in the way he carries himself, from the very first time you spotted him in the school hallways.

“Tommy H’s stupid freckled face can kiss my ass.”

The statement is so unexpected that you freeze for a second. Then you press your legs together, fighting back a laugh. Billy swats away a fly that’s just landed on your knee, his hand lingering for a moment. His touch is warm, grounding, and for the first time tonight, the tension seems to ease. There’s even the ghost of a reluctant smile on his lips. The shift in atmosphere washes over you like a wave of relief.

“So…” he starts, his thumb dragging idly along your knee.

You glance at him, curious. “Yes?”

“Are you coming or not?”

It takes a second for his words to register. When they do, you let out an exasperated laugh, shaking your head. “Billy, I’m not going to the party.”

“Why not?”

“...You know it’s not my thing.” the admission feels uncomfortable, like you’re exposing something shameful about yourself. “I’d just feel weird.”

“That’s ‘cause you’ve never tried it.”

“What makes you think Tina won’t bother me there? Everyone’s gonna be drinking, and—”

“You’ll be with me the whole time, sweetheart.” His voice is smooth, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, like you’re just making excuses.

You shoot him a doubtful look. You hadn’t even considered the possibility that he’d stick by your side all night. You’re still not convinced.

And he sees it.

Because suddenly, he lifts your leg gently, slipping beneath it as he moves closer, settling himself between your thighs. His presence feels different like this—closer, more deliberate. The warmth of his hands against your skin sends a shiver through you, but it’s not from the water.

“Come on.”

“What?” you ask with a nervous giggle, your heart stammering in your chest. His arms brush against your legs, his torso barely grazing your inner thighs.

“It’s gonna be fun.” His grin is subtle, teasing, like he already knows he’s winning.

He props himself up on his hands, the wooden dock creaking beneath the movement. The water sways below. And then his face is level with yours, his blue eyes half-lidded but impossibly intense, locking onto you like a challenge.

“Come to the party with me.”

“Billy… I…” You sigh, knowing—knowing—that right now, if he asked you to jump off a bridge, you’d probably do it without hesitation.

And when his lips brush the corner of your mouth, you know it’s over.

“Come with me.”

His voice is low, like velvet, pulling you in deeper. It’s a command, but it’s also a plea, soft but insistent. He doesn’t kiss you fully—not yet. His mouth hovers near yours, teasing, coaxing, almost as if he’s waiting for you to lean in, waiting for you to make the next move. The air between you is thick with tension, with something unspoken that neither of you can escape.

His lips place slow, wet, open mouthed kisses on your cheek. Like he has all the time in the world. And maybe he does, because you haven’t pulled away. His touch is warm, sending a trail of fire through your veins, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“Say yes.”

His words hang in the air, heavy and final. Your chest tightens. You don’t know what to say, what to do. He’s got you on the edge, holding you there, the answer in his eyes, in his touch, in the way he leans closer, as if he's asking for more than just a yes. He wants all of you.

And then, his lips are on yours, deep and slow, like he’s savoring every second, every movement. The kiss is everything. The world spins around you, and all you can feel is him, the heat of his skin, the press of his body against yours.

He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t break the kiss until you’ve lost track of time, until your mind is completely clouded with nothing but him. Your hands find their way to his shoulders, to his chest, holding onto him like he’s the only thing grounding you in this dizzying whirlwind.

And then he pulls away, but just enough for him to look into your eyes, his breath mingling with yours, his gaze dark, but searching.

“Say yes.”

You swallow hard, your pulse pounding in your ears. You’re on the edge, you know you are. And you can feel it, deep down, in your bones, that there’s no going back.

“Yes.”

[themoonlitquill]

Whispers Woven in Shadow. (6/?)

𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝘼𝙧𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧? 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚? 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚? 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮.

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 ; 𝖠𝗓𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗅 𝗑 𝖥𝖾𝗆!𝖮𝖢 (𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅).

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 ; HI. I meant to post this yesterday (like I did last week don’t hate me pls) but I didn’t like where I originally ended it so I revised and ta-daaa! 🪄 This one was a very fun one to write! It was going one direction and then ended up somewhere else, which I LOVED. And I hope you do too! ��� Alsooooo, the next chapter is already in the works and let’s just say I am STOKED for it. 🤩 Hehe. ENJOY!!

𝖳𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 ; 𝗡𝗼𝗻𝗲??? 𝗢𝗺𝗴 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗹𝗲???

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ; 3553.

“The key to being a Daemati is discretion,” Rhysand stood in front of Ariadne, only a few feet away, with a rather serious expression in place. It was clear that what he was about to teach was important, no nonsense to be found, and she found herself thoroughly engaged. “Once you find your in, the last thing you want is to be discovered. It could be catastrophic otherwise, especially since you’re new at it.”

Her hands were clasped together behind her back, lips pursed. “That makes sense, but wouldn’t they be able to feel me enter somehow?”

“Not necessarily,” he picks a piece of lint off his sleeve. “When you’re in complete control and know what you’re doing, there’s nothing to be felt. Although,” the violet of his eyes were gleaming. “It also depends on if they’ve been trained against Daemati powers and if they have… it can be more complicated.”

“So there is a chance that I could be found out?” Ariadne frowns. “What do I have to do to prevent that?”

The High Lord smirks. “I’m so glad that you asked, littlest Archeron. That’s exactly what we’re going to work on today.”

“I have a name, you know,” her eyes were now narrowed into slits, annoyance set into the hard line of her mouth. “Use it.”

“You’re a sassy one, aren’t you?” Rhys chuckles under his breath. “Reminds me of Feyre.”

She swallows dryly, a pang hitting her chest. “I don’t want to talk about my sister with you.”

His shoulders lifted slightly and she had a feeling he had sighed, more than likely frustrated by the way she had shot him down. Not my problem. I don’t trust him. I don’t know if I trust any of them.

Ariadne takes a breath, the pain receding to a dull ache, and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, the pointed tip more prominent now. She didn’t know if she would ever get used to them. “Where do we start?”

The smirk diminishes as he straightens and it amazed her at how quickly he was able to switch from one emotion to another. It was almost too easy for him, which was a conundrum in itself. “Close your eyes.”

She hesitates for a moment, unsure, but obeys nonetheless.

“Now,” his tone is softer, more coaxing, like cool water flowing down a stream. “Picture a door. It can be any color, any shape, any size. Just be sure to put all of your focus on it.”

Slowly, Ariadne begins to conjure up what he had asked, allowing her subconscious to make the decisions for her; polished wood - ebony? - that was slightly worn with age, large enough for a grown person to fit through, and its handle curved into the shape of a crescent moon. She doesn’t know why, only that it felt right.

“Good,” Rhys hums approvingly. Could he see it too? It wouldn’t surprise her if he did. “The door isn’t yours, remember that, it belongs to someone else. Think of the mind as a house, full of locked rooms that hold a plethora of secrets.”

She gives a subtle nod, finding herself grateful for the way he was explaining things. Magic was a completely foreign concept to her and having powers, even more so. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t be able to figure it out if he approached it differently, but she’d rather it be done this way. Much easier.

A strange sensation brushed against the door then. It reminded her of nails scratching, not entirely unpleasant, though not comfortable either. There was an awareness that came with it, some sort of pressure, and she couldn’t help wondering exactly what it was.

“Do you feel that?” She nods again. “That’s me. I’m allowing you to sense that I’m trying to get in,” there’s a shift in the air and all of a sudden it disappears. “And now you can’t feel me anymore, correct?”

“Yes.”

“The goal isn’t to use brute strength, even though there will come a time when that’s necessary,” he pauses. “But for now, it’s about slipping through the cracks. There’s always a way in, Ariadne. Even if you don’t see it at first. Some houses leave windows left open, while others have weak locks. Sometimes there’s too many doors, which leads to things left unnoticed. Don’t force it. Follow your instincts and feel for the gaps.”

Ariadne exhales, finding her center where she stood and reaching out tentatively; it felt like her own opalescent barriers, though this time, it was extending towards the door she had created, moving along the outer edges in search of a way in.

Her brow draws together, coming up empty handed and leading to her releasing a frustrated huff. “I don’t- Wait!”

The shimmery mist gathers along the bottom left corner, probing at the wood and that’s when she feels it. A small hairline fracture, barely there, but it was possible, and that was all she needed. “I found it,” her tone was hushed, full of awe. Truthfully, she hadn’t put much stock into this and now she was a believer.

Rhys smiles. “Try to get through without me feeling you. I’ll wait.”

She takes a breath and holds it before pushing forward, allowing herself to slip into the crack, trying to be mindful of how much pressure she was putting behind it and there’s a whisper in the back of her thoughts, reminding her to be stealthy, as fleeting as a shadow. Her nails dig into the skin of her palms, teeth clenched, and she focuses on thinning out, bleeding through to the other side inch by inch.

“There you go. That’s it,” he encourages, watching her with a keen gaze that holds something akin to amazement, and he couldn’t help but marvel at her tenacity. “I can feel you, but just barely. If you keep practicing, I won’t be able to at all, which is saying something.”

Ariadne finally opens her eyes and she feels… accomplished. It wasn’t anything major - yet - and she still had work to do - a lot - and despite that, she had done it. There was progress made and she couldn’t help in feeling more determined than ever. This bit of success had served to further prove that she could do this, that she wasn’t going to be stuck, and she relished in it.

₊˚✧𑁍.ೃ࿔*:･

As it turned out, Rhysand was a pretty good teacher. He was patient and explained things well, gave her praise when she earned it and corrected her when she made a mistake, though it wasn’t harsh, more on the constructive side than belittling her like she had expected. It was… nice, and she had learned enough to begin practicing on her own before they would eventually move to the next lesson.

There was no way she was ready for the whole ‘shattering minds’ aspect of it, but maybe Azriel had been right. It would be smart for her to at least know how to do it. Just in case.

And speaking of the elusive Shadowsinger…

Ariadne tilts her head, honey brown eyes roaming over bronze skin and swirls of black ink that adorned his upper arms, disappearing beneath the sleeves of his shirt. How many does he have? She wanted to ask and managed not to, especially after how he had reacted yesterday. Why did he leave like that? He owes an explanation. It was rude. If he doesn’t want to be around me, he should be an adult and say that. Are all Illyrians complete dicks?

She huffs and strides into the kitchen with purpose, dead set on confronting him and giving him a piece of her mind when he looks up, gold seeming to brighten, and causes her to falter, suddenly feeling warm all over.

“Hi.”

Azriel raises a single brow and she notes that he had stiffened, shoulders tense and shadows flitting about almost anxiously. “Hi.”

“How was your day?”

He balks. “My day?”

An uncharacteristic snort emits from her. “Yes, your day. It’s called having a conversation. You should try it. Unless you plan on leaving again without a reason why?”

Guilt flashes across his face and she places her hands on her hips expectantly. “I’m sorry.”

She softens. A little. “You shouldn’t have done it. If I do something to offend you, I’d much rather you tell me than running off and making me wonder what the hell it was I did. I’m a big girl, Azriel. I can handle the truth.”

He observes her silently for a moment. “I know you can.”

“Don’t do it again. Please,” she adds. “I want to be your friend and you’re making it harder than it needs to be.”

“Friends,” his jaw clenches and her head tilts curiously. Did he not want that? “Okay then. My day was… alright.”

Maybe he did. “Just alright? What did you do?”

“Trained with Cass.”

“What kind of training?”

“Hand to hand mostly,” he relaxes, slightly, some of the tension lifting. “Some flight maneuvers here and there.”

Ariadne perks up at that and leans against the counter, glancing at his wings briefly. “Did you ask him to race?”

“It may have come up.”

“And?”

“He agreed.”

“Oh, how exciting! When can we do it?”

“Whenever you want,” Azriel’s gaze intensifies and she feels heat creep up her neck. Why was he looking at her like that? “As the unbiased judge, we thought it only fair for you to be the one to choose.”

She hums. “Well, in that case, how about the end of the week? It’s only a few days away and it’ll give me time to write out a scorecard.”

“A scorecard?”

“Yes. It can’t just be based on how fast you are. That wouldn’t be as fun.”

He seems to think it over, lips twitching. “What are the other categories other than speed?”

“I can’t tell you that. Cassian isn’t going to get an advantage, why should you?” Ariadne raises an inquisitive brow, engaging in a silent challenge. “What’s fair is fair.”

“I don’t even get a hint?”

“No,” she releases an exaggerated sigh. “I’m afraid your skill will have to speak for itself.”

Azriel’s shoulders shake as his mouth curves up into a smile, the smallest hint of a dimple appearing and she finds herself fascinated by it, gaze zeroing in as her body leans over the counter. She wanted to see if he had another on the other side, but it was gone before she could ask.

She chews on the inside of her lower lip, suddenly finding herself at a loss for words; it seemed that happened a lot when she was around the Shadowsinger and she didn’t know why. It was like she had a million different things to say and couldn’t figure out how to string them in the right order to keep the conversation going.

It also didn’t help that she held a fear of him leaving again because she did something wrong that she was unaware of.

How was she supposed to navigate this?

Her mouth opens and then closes, brow furrowing, and she could see the shadows swirling about languidly, some slithering towards her and she wanted to touch them, wanted to touch him.

Wait, what? Ariadne shakes her head and resumes her incessant biting. Don’t do that. If you’ve learned anything, it’s that he’s an obvious flight risk.

Azriel watches silently and she had this weird feeling that he knew what she was thinking somehow. “They like you.”

She blinks. “Who?”

The shadows move closer and his head inclines slightly. “Them.”

Where had that come from? Their conversation in the library replays in her mind. He had pulled them away from her like it - she - was some sort of issue and now he was finally acknowledging it? It made no sense. Like everything else around here, she sighs.

“Maybe I’m better company than you are.”

His eyes widen a fraction and a low rumble reverberates in the back of her skull, warm and all-consuming. It sent tingles down the length of her spine and there was no doubt that it was a laugh. She was certain. Azriel was laughing. Maybe she wasn’t so bad after all.

₊˚✧𑁍.ೃ࿔*:･

Cassian was massive.

She had met him before and yet, she didn’t remember him being this big. It was sort of… intimidating. He looked like he could throw her through a wall and not even break a sweat. Her lips curve slightly at that. It was certainly entertaining to think about.

He stood next to Azriel and there was a shit-eating grin on his face, which only seemed to annoy the Shadowsinger and it was obvious that she was missing something.

But what?

Ariadne observes Cassian with interest, wondering how different he was from the others. He had to be a force or else he wouldn’t be the… What was his title? Lord of… Something, she tilts her head with a curious expression. Lord of Illyrians? What in the name of the stupid Cauldron was it?

She flicks her gaze to Azriel, silent questions in honey brown, and he elbows Cassian, chin dipping towards her and she wished more than anything that she knew them well enough to know exactly what they were saying without saying it.

“So, you can’t hear at all?”

A dark shadow passes over Azriel’s face that she chooses to ignore, mostly, and she shakes her head. “Not in the traditional sense. I mostly go by touch and sight.”

“That’s gotta be a pain in the ass.”

Ariadne fights a smile. Oh, I like him, she steps forward, eyes roaming leisurely. “Believe it or not, you get used to it.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Cassian looks down at her with amusement. “You’re really tiny.”

She scoffs, hands moving to rest on her hips. “You don’t miss much,” her neck tilts back in time with her perusal. “Which is surprising considering I didn’t think you’d be able to see from all the way up there.”

He barks out a laugh. “You’ve got my vote.”

What was that supposed to mean?

Azriel rolls his eyes, arms moving to cross over his chest. “Ignore him. I do.”

“It’s impossible to ignore me,” Cassian interjects. “Don’t listen to him. He’s cranky and needs a nap.”

Ariadne nearly laughed at that and it was a bit of a surprise at how comfortable she was with him already. Rhysand, she was still wary of, and Azriel… well, she wasn’t quite sure what she felt where he was concerned, but Cassian? He was a breath of fresh air and she liked that he didn’t seem to take himself too seriously. She thought they might end up being fast friends, which she was in no position to say no to.

“Or maybe you just get on his nerves.”

His grin widens - if that was even possible - and catches the small chuckle from Azriel, the rare sound a surprise and he found himself stunned for a moment; his brother could deny it as much as he wanted, but it was evident that there was something there and it pained him that he couldn’t speak on it, not unless he wished to come to blows and the last time that happened, it hadn’t ended well.

“She has a point,” the Shadowsinger gives Cassian a knowing look, who huffs in return. “I’ve never heard any complaints,” he focuses back on the youngest Archeron. “I could never. He loves me too much.”

Her eyes rolled, though there was no malice, only a subtle fondness that softened her features. “I wouldn’t push my luck if I were you,” a small hum emits from her throat. “Have either of you decided what you want the prize to be if you win the race?”

“I’ve been waiting for this!” Cassian claps his hands together, a mischievous glint in his gaze. “Oh, right,” he smiles sheepishly at Ariadne. “Sorry, this’ll take some getting used to. Anyway,” he perks back up. “I’ve been thinking that since you’ve shown so much interest in flying… That the winner gets to take you for the first time.”

Azriel tenses and so do his shadows. “Absolutely not.”

He ignores him, practically giddy, and continues on without missing a beat. “Az told me about this scorecard you’re making and since you’re the one judging, it makes sense for the winner to be the one to do it. You know,” Cassian’s grin returns. “Safety and all.”

“I said no,” Azriel bites out, jaw hard. Was he out of his mind?

“I like that idea,” Ariadne had noted the Spymaster’s reaction and it was the ten-thousandth thing that she added to the ‘makes no sense’ pile. “But instead of just going for a flight, why not make it more interesting?” There’s a brief silence and she took that as her sign that they were agreeing with her. “I want to go down to the city and explore. I’m sick of being in this house, no offense,” she glances up at the ceiling before returning to the two Illyrians. “I need to get out and the winner gets to be my escort slash tour guide.”

“Excellent!” Cassian pats Azriel on the shoulder. “I bet you’ll make sure you win now,” he winks playfully at the little Fae. “You’ve got yourself a deal!”

₊˚✧𑁍.ೃ࿔*:･

You are excited.

Ariadne looks down at the shadow encircled around her wrist, eyes brightening. Hi! Long time, no see! Wait, how can you tell I’m excited?

You wear your emotions plainly, it tightens its grip in a quick squeeze. It is easy to tell.

I never really noticed, she gives a half-shrug. But you’re right, I have something to look forward to at the end of the week. I get to fly to the city!

Velaris.

Yes, Velaris, her eyes move to the open archway across the room. I’ll be out of this house for the first time since that damn Cauldron and be around other people and check the shops and see that pretty river and be normal.

It was all she wanted; to have the opportunity to venture out and be a part of something instead of locked away in a hypothetical tower - that was actually a magic house - away from curious glances and speculation. Though, she found she didn’t care what the reaction would be to her, only that she was finally going to be free, even if it was just for a little while.

Who are you going with?

She blinked down at the shadow, watching it shimmer as it flowed around her wrist. They really were beautiful. Oh, I don’t know yet. I’ll find out at the end of the race in a couple days.

It is your decision who wins, is it not?

Yeah, it is, Ariadne hums and ghosts her fingertips over the sleek obsidian. Why was it so important? Why had Azriel said no? She had caught that - despite her lack of skill in that department - and hadn’t stopped thinking about it since. I want it to be fair, though. That’s why I made the scorecards. I split it into different categories.

You made a scorecard?

She huffs, not liking the fact that it felt like it was laughing at her. What was the big damn deal? It was the perfect way to judge!

Yes, that way I can take into account a few other things needed to win a race other than speed.

Such as?

Agility, form, and endurance, she raises a single brow, daring the shadow to tease her again. It doesn’t just take being the fastest. What about the air currents? The way they extend their wings and how far? What if something gets in their way and they have to go around it?

Like what?

What kind of a question was that? Ariadne throws her hand up, a second huff emitting from her lips, though more exasperated this time. I don’t know! A tree?

A tree in the middle of the sky?

Are you serious right now? I don’t know how high they’ll be flying!

It would have to be a very tall tree, the breathy whisper was lighter and she realized then that it was laughing at her. What a beastly little thing! She wanted to flick it.

I’m not talking to you anymore if you’re going to keep making fun of my scorecard!

Me? Making fun? Never.

She releases a frustrated sound and flicks it, eyes narrowed. Be nice!

Says the one who just wounded me.

Oh, don’t be dramatic. You’re fine, she rolls her eyes, but carefully rubs a small circle with her thumb, slow and soothing. I thought it was a good idea. There isn’t much to do around here, so I figured I’d go all in.

The shadow wraps around her forearm and squeezes, the temperature cool against her skin. It is. Your mind is fascinating and I enjoy seeing how you respond to things.

So that’s what that was? Ariadne purses her lips, watching as it moves further up until it’s on her shoulder and twirling through her hair. It seemed to like it there the best. What a weird way to go about it.

Not weird at all, little moon. You will soon see.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ; @ashblooddragons , @rcarbo1 , @waytoomanyteenagefeels , @prettylittlewrites , @tele86 , @missxmarvelous , @herondale-lightworm , @kabekusa , @fr0stf4ll .

[maggotzombie]

the day/night we met ; henry cavill

PAIRING — Henry Cavill x Reader (fem) SUMMARY — On your wedding day, your Maid of Honor prepares a special gift to which you and Henry have distinct responses. WORDS — 1,8k TW — nothing really just a lot of fluff, emotions (I cried a bit writing it), Henry in a suit 😈. A/N — Hi! I'm not dead, just quit the most toxic job ever so I'm getting back here lol Here's a short but very dear fic to me that I wrote last year but never posted. I'm so happy to finally post this! This story has been in my head for two years now and it came out better than I thought.

Song insp.: Eu Me Lembro by Clarice Falcão feat. Silva

— 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

“ALRIGHT,” YOUR MAID OF HONOR smiles, carefully wiping her tears with a napkin. “After making you cry and potentially ruining some makeup,” The room laughs. “I’ve prepared something different to end this on a high note.”

This is one of the dearest moments of your life: your wedding. You’re marrying your soulmate. Your heart could burst with love and happiness whenever.

Everything’s perfect, from your dress to the lights of the venue. Henry – your newly proclaimed spouse – has an arm around you as you listen to your family and friends' speeches about you and your love.

You found it strange when your Maid of Honor wasn’t the first to speak, but it seems she has a reason for it. Immediately, you feel anxious, but in a good way.

“When these two told me they were getting married, I knew I wanted to do something special for them,” Your best friend starts. “I just didn’t know what, but I knew it had to be something remarkable, something for them to look back and have a good laugh,” She looks at the both of you with tears in her eyes, chuckling.

You also wipe tears off your eyes, smiling back at her, and Henry tightens his embrace around you.

“So I sat down with these two, separately, and started to ask a few questions,” She smiles and wiggles her eyebrows, which is an expression you know very well.

‘Oh my,’ You think. ‘What is she up to?’

“Things started to get really interesting from the start, and I decided to make a video out of it,” Your best friend winks at you. “Without further ado, enjoy it.”

With a pleasant smile, she sits down. The attention turns to the screens set around the venue.

You remember sitting with your Maid of Honor to chat about your relationship. You didn’t really understand why she wanted to do that. However, it always has been effortless talking about Henry, and you brushed it off as having something to do with the wedding.

You recall having a great time answering her questions – drinks might have been involved beforehand, but the whole process was surprisingly professional.

Your friend’s face pops up on the screen as she introduces herself. “In this little video, I wanted to talk about our lovely couple’s amazing and fun story, especially the day they met,” She explains. “Newlyweds, I love you very much, and I hope you like this little something I put together for you.”

She blows a kiss and waves. Then in fancy lettering, “A love story” is scribbled on the top-left corner of the screen, and “A story of love” on the bottom right corner. You wonder why both phrases – which convey the same thing – are on the video, but the thought quickly slips your mind when your smiling face appears on the screen.

“State your name and occupation, please,” Your friend prompts on the video, but she’s out of the shot.

You roll your eyes amusedly. “What’s this, a trial? I’m innocent, your honor!” You giggle, making everybody at the venue laugh.

You answer the question anyway, and your name also appears written on the video.

“For the purpose of… this, I’m the bride?” It sounds like a question, and you make a face, unsure of yourself.

She never explained what the video was for, in your defense.

Right after you, Henry appears. “I’m Henry, and I am the lucky groom,” He smiles brightly, looking as handsome as always.

“So, tell me, how did you meet Henry?” Your friend asks, and your smile is instant as you remember that exact day as if it was yesterday. “How did you meet Y/N?” She asks him in the next scene, and his reaction is the same.

“I was hosting a brunch,” You start, your eyes unfocused as the vivid memory plays in your mind. “And it was morning when Henry arrived.”

When he reapers, you can tell it’ll cut back and forth between you. “I was throwing a party, and she was the one that came around. I think it was three in the afternoon,” Henry replies, quite differently from you.

You scoff mockingly, looking at him by your side. He chuckles, brushing it off with a shoulder tic before you turn back to the screen.

“And I said: ‘Hi, come on in, make yourself at home,’ You know, something of the sorts,” You shrug off.

Your betrothed chuckles in the video, scratching his chin in thought. “I was the one that said hello, but she didn’t hear.”

His comment makes the venue erupt in laughter. You meet Henry’s loving gaze again and squeeze his hand, making him bring yours up to press a kiss on your knuckles.

If your shared story had different and entertaining versions until now, it’d just get better!

After being asked about first impressions of one another, he replies: “She thought I was hilarious,” He says with such confidence that is endearing.

In your turn, you laugh and cover your mouth as if what you are about to say it’s an embarrassing secret.

“Oh my god, he wouldn’t stop talking! Like a lot!” You emphasize. “And I pretended to laugh the entire time,” You say very sheepishly before throwing your head back in laughter again. “That’s terrible. I feel like I need to apologize,” You add after your fit.

“Oh, I just remembered something,” He suddenly announces, and his smile is wide as the memory toy around in his head. “Her blouse was inside out,” He chuckles, eyes focused on a spot. “She’s so adorable and such a goof, isn’t she?” He looks back at the camera.

“He loved the way I was dressed,” You giggle, visibly shivering as you physically remember the feeling of him truly looking at you for the first time.

Your friend asks another question, changing the subject slightly, but Henry shakes his head.

“Yeah, the party was great! Everybody was having a good time, but I only remember searching for her when she wasn’t near me. Trying to get another look, you know?” He says.

In turn, you scoff. “No one was dancing! I don’t remember who was taking care of the music, but it was terrible!” Your genuine response makes the room fills with laughter another time. “At least everyone had a drink in hand and ate something.”

“Oh, yes. The food was wonderful. Everything homemade,” Your partner assures with a proud nod naively.

“I bought everything off Tesco,” You rushedly confess, throwing your head back in laughter again.

Back to the present moment, you’re wiping the new tears from the corners of your eyes due to laughter. You love the good energy around the room as your guests and yourself enjoy the video your Maid of Honor made.

Now you understand both phases in the beginning, and although you and Henry have very distinct versions of the day you met, you love both of them and the feelings they bring you.

However, something changes in the next second of the video. For the first time, on a split-screen, you two appear together.

“When I saw him, I knew it (When I saw her, I knew it),” You both say simultaneously. “She (He) was the person I’d spend the rest of my life with,” You continue.

Glancing at him, you’re surprised to see he’s already looking at you. Then you exchange a knowing look. It seems like you got on the same page in this part of the video.

“And that’s how I realized that life put him (her) in my life,” You say in unison. “On that Tuesday (Thursday) of September (December),” Your responses overlap with each other, drawing amused reactions from people.

“That’s why I remember everything, of every second,” Both of you state, which is downright ironic at this point. “Ask me anything that I remember.”

“I remember,” You proudly declare with a grin but, this time, by yourself.

And so does Henry. “I remember,” He nods with a beam.

The video ends there, and the room erupts in applause, whistles, and hollered praises.

Words couldn’t describe the dazzling feelings you’re experiencing if you wanted to. You can’t be more grateful to your friend for this treat either. And, of course, the man you now get to call your husband.

The spotlight of attention returns to you as you’re exchanging the most enamored gaze ever. Henry leans in and presses his lips to your forehead, making you close your eyes. Slowly, you allow all those remarkable sensations to wash over you.

When you reopen your eyes, you smile at him before looking at your Maid of Honor. “Thank you so much for this extremely thoughtful gift. We both loved it a lot.”

Henry confirms with a head gesture.

“Words won’t do justice to how much you’re special to me. I’m just so grateful I get to share such a special and meaningful moment of my life, like this one, with you,” Your voice cracks at the end, and you smile, trying to hold your tears at bay as you can see she’s doing the same. “So I can’t thank you enough.”

As the room gets loud with another round of applause and cheers, she smiles, mouthing an “I love you too” to you. Wiping your tears carefully one more time, you chuckle.

“Although, I only have one question,” You announce, making the room pipe down. “Was my blouse really inside out?” You giggle as you look back at Henry.

Your husband starts to laugh. “Yeah,” He confirms bashfully. “Yeah, it was,” He nods as your guests join you in laughter.

“Oh, God. I can’t believe it,” You shake your head in embarrassment. “I also would like to point out that my husband clearly has a lot of experience with interviews,” You remark, addressing the room. “I feel kinda bad after saying I was pretending to laugh at his jokes when he’s all loving and caring,” You rejoin your friends and family in fun.

“I do tell bad jokes,” Henry concedes in your defense. “I love how genuine you are, and you’re loving and caring to me, too,” You nearly melt at his famous Hollywood-star smile.

The sound of ‘aww’s’ fills the room. “You see what I’m dealing with?” You joke, making everybody chuckle.

You give him a chaste but affectionate peck on the lips. Your wedding coordinator decides it’s time for the first dance to open the floor to make your guests burn some energy after the buffet.

And so, feeling the most secure and happy while pressed against your husband’s chest with his arms around you, you swing slowly. By sharing the same air, the same space, and the same feelings, you can’t think of anything better.

It all started on a Tuesday morning in September for you. But for him, it was a Thursday afternoon in December. Now, it is a Saturday evening in November that you’ll never forget.

You will remember. Everything. Of every second.

[beemoon17]

What is one thing I wish someone had told me before I went on t?

I’m a researcher, I’m autistic, I’ve known I was trans since the 4th grade and next year I’ll be entering my senior year of high school. With that information you may ask, what could you have possibly not know about being on t? The answer is pretty much nothing. There wasn’t a result, a symptom, a reaction, a change, a possible complication that I hadn’t managed to uncover in the treasure trove that is the internet. I watched YouTube videos, read articles from fancy clinics and medical researchers, I scrolled instagram and TikTok and Tumblr and Reddit, I read every article from every blog or newspaper or magazine. Trans topics, especially transitioning, was and still is one of my biggest special interests. In the least official way possible, I am an expert.

And yet there’s still one thing that no one had fully impressed upon me. Which was just how happy being on testosterone would make me. YES! Of course I have read and listened to people talk about the joy they found in transition, how the changes that they experienced brought them peace, alleviated years of depression and anxiety and misery, changed their lives. But no one prepared me for the fact that being on testosterone. Just. Being. On. Testosterone. Has made me so fucking happy. Has boosted my confidence so much.

I’m a month and 22 days on t. The changes I could tell you about are minuscule. I have no big transformation pictures or videos to show you. But the joy and confidence I have experienced in the last month and 22 days despite that is insane. I am so excited for the future, I am letting go of ideas, both related to my assigned sex at birth and not, of what my life is supposed to look like fly out the window. I am planning my future around my happiness and my personal fulfillment. I feel myself walk with a new sway in my step. And talk with a more confident ring to my voice. I look in the mirror and I see myself, still with virtually the same face that I had the very first day I started injections, but unlike before I always take a moment to stop and admire my face, because I can finally love it, because I finally know that my body is working to change and become something so much more mine.

It is absolutely incredible. And I hope that anyone who is afraid or anxious about starting testosterone, that anyone who is on the fence and unsure, will read this and let it be a guiding step in their journey to that decision, no matter what it ends up being. That anyone reading this will know that transition is beautiful, it is life saving, and transformative. Transition is godlike. And powerful. Making the choice to move forward on your journey is for you, don’t let fear or family or friends hold you back. Your future is yours, only you can live your life. So go live your life.

[carlottawllms]

Can't Be Mine

Mason Mount x Reader Angst / Fluff Italics = Flashback

Author’s note: I’m back. Kinda at least. Like I explained before I’m currently in struggle city and have no clue how to get out of it…I’ve been wanting to write this trope for as long as I can remember and after a quick chat with my lovely Loz @mountttmase, I eventually managed to be inspired enough to write this.

I hope you’ll like it! As always, feedback is very much appreciated. Especially now that I’m finding myself in a bit of a slump. Thank you, love you loads! 🩷

When your alarm went off at 6am, you weren't half as annoyed as you usually would be and, against all human nature, you jumped out of bed and into the shower, a soft hum of a song, that was stuck in your head, following you.

You weren't a morning person, far from it in fact, as you normally needed at least an hour and a coffee to function properly, but after yesterday you felt like all the happiness of the earth had gathered in your heart.

“I really don’t think I want to say goodbye yet.”, you pouted, feeling genuinely sad you’d reached your front door. The date that was just about to end had been the best you’d been on in a while, and you hated how these past few hours had basically flown by.

“Neither do I, but it’s late and I don’t want you to be grumpy tomorrow morning and annoy your colleagues.” Mason flicked your nose lovingly and the way you scrunched it had his heart squeezing in his chest. You were too adorable for your own good.

“I know.”, you sighed. “I genuinely enjoyed today a lot, Mase. Thank you.” You squeezed his hand that had been wrapped around yours ever since he’d helped you out of his car.

“No need to thank me. I enjoyed it just as much.”, he smiled. “And I’d love to see you again.”

When you simply nodded in confirmation, a blush coating the tops of your cheeks, Mason leaned down. For a second you thought he was going in for a kiss on the lips, something that for you felt a little hasty, but you soon felt his lips pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Good night, y/n.” The soft smile he sent your way had the butterflies in your tummy going mad. Especially as halfway to his car, he looked back and waved again, chuckling when you did the same.

It was insane how quickly this man had you falling for him.

And with that memory basically engraved into your mind, the drive to your office wasn’t half as annoying as it usually was.

It wasn’t that you hated your job. Quite the opposite actually and up until this day you still couldn’t believe you’d manage to land a job at Manchester United.

Back then, it had actually just been a silly ‘bet’ between you and your dad. Towards the end of your time at university, you’d been looking at several job offers and companies, unsure of where to apply and one day, a job offer at the football club had come up.

You’d laughed if off, saying they wouldn’t take you anyway so there would be no use to put time and effort in an application, but your dad being your dad had insisted they would. So in an attempt to prove your point, you’d applied anyway and to your biggest surprise, they’d invited you for a first interview.

And even after the years you’d spent working for them already, you still enjoyed every single day with your colleagues.

“Morning.”, you smiled brightly as you entered your shared office. Your work bestie Anna was already comfortably working away. She looked up from her keypad, obviously a little confused by your good mood this early in the day.

“You look awfully happy, y/n. Something you want to tell me?” Anna took a sip from her coffee and leaned back in her chair; her watchful eyes following your every move in hopes to figure out what had happened.

“No.”, you grinned. “No, I don’t think so.”

“You got some last night!”, she exclaimed, causing you to shush her instantly. The door was closed, but obviously nothing was soundproof, and you didn’t need this week’s rumours to include you.

“No, I didn’t, Anna.” You rolled your eyes when she sighed dramatically. “But I did go on a date.”

Your colleague and friend gasped in surprise. After years of sharing an office with you, she could recall the times you’d actually gone out with someone on one hand and you admitting it on a random Tuesday morning hadn’t been on her bingo card at all.

“No way, I didn’t think I’d ever see the day. You have to tell me everything! Like…what did you do? How was it? Who is he?”

You laughed at how excited she was and it somehow warmed your heart. She really was a great friend, and you knew she’d always have your back and be excited with you. Just like you’d been when she’d told you that she’d got engaged a few weeks back.

“It was pretty much perfect.”, you admitted, feeling the heat rising to your cheeks. “He was an absolute sweetheart and gentlemen. We actually went for a walk with his dog first – he’s super cute by the way – and then grabbed some take away on our way back and spent the evening at his and-”

“You went to a stranger’s house for a first date? y/n, are you crazy? That’s bloody dangerous and-”

“Obviously I didn’t, you know me, Anna.”, you laughed, only now clocking on to how weird it sounded to go home with a stranger. You quickly unpacked your bag and sat down, finally taking a sip from your coffee as well. “He’s like…a friend of a friend, so I knew him before and neither of us wanted to sit in a restaurant, so we went over to his.”

“Pff, I’m relieved, not gonna lie. Thought I had to get your head straight or something. But that sounds so relaxed and laid-back. What’s his name?”  

“It’s erm…Cameron.”

When Anna raised her eyebrow sceptically, you knew your answer had come out too hesitant in an attempt to find a name that wasn’t Mason. “Are you sure, love?”

“Yes, sorry, I was just thinking about yesterday.”, you chuckled, dropping your head to avoid her seeing your red cheeks. “His name is definitely Cameron.”

Before either of you could keep the conversation going, Steven, head of media department, popped into your office and you could tell by the look on his face that he hadn’t come for a normal chat.

“Morning girls, it’s short notice, my apologies, but there’s going to be a meeting in conference room no. 2 in ten minutes. Make sure you’re on time please.”

Anna and you exchange a meaningful and equally worried look the second Steven had left again. Unannounced meetings usually didn't bode well and for some reason you had an extremely bad gut feeling today.

After all, a high was usually followed by a low. And this week's high had undoubtedly been yesterday.

“I wonder what that could be about.”, Anna mumbled as she gathered her iPad and pen. “He didn’t mention anything about bigger projects for this week.”

“No idea, but for some reason I have a really bad feeling about this, to be honest.”, you confessed. Your heart was racing and you felt sick to your stomach; both signs that had you worried as your gut feeling very rarely ever fooled you.

And when you both arrived in the conference room and not only your other colleagues from the marketing department were sitting there, but pretty much all your colleagues from the administrative departments, you felt vindicated.

The last time you’d all been called together like this, you’d been told that there would be a new owner, and this didn't feel any less big.

-

After an exhausting day on the training pitch as well as an extra shift in the gym straight after, Mason would normally flop down on the sofa and take a nap before a game or two with Ben and an early night, but after the date with you yesterday, he was still pretty much on cloud nine.

It had taken him an embarrassingly long time to grow a pair and ask you out – about three years of friendship in fact – and he wasn’t proud of how long he’d been simping for you in silence and opting to stick to staying friends, but he’d been terrified of being rejected.

Ever since you and him had become friends, he’d never seen you seriously date someone and you’d never given him any real signs you could be interested in him out of all people, so he’d held himself back and enjoyed the time he’d got with you.

But lately, you’d been a bit touchier with him. Conversations had turned flirtier, and you’d sought out his proximity more than you usually would.

So one evening on your way back home – you’d been out for dinner with friends – he’d held you back by your hand, bit the bullet and shyly asked if you wanted to go out with him. On a date. And the bright smile on your face as you’d nodded, had made his tummy flip like never before.

Mason had wrecked his brain for days to figure out what he wanted to do for your first date. He’d wanted it to be absolutely perfect and ended up making a list with all options, but after a conversation with Declan, he’d settled on the most down-to-earth option. Going for a walk – Ace unsurprisingly ended up loving you way more than him – and eating pizza in the safety of his home.

Despite the years of friendship, he’d worried the date might be filled with awkward silences and two people not knowing what to say, but to his utter relief it hadn’t been weird for a single second. You’d settled straight away into easy conversation, laughter and slightly deeper topics and it had never felt wrong.

Not when he’d pulled you into his side during the film, not when you’d grabbed his hand beneath the blanket, not when he’d kissed your cheek when saying goodbye.

The only problem: He missed you already.

Mason had always enjoyed your company, but ever since yesterday, he just wanted to spend every second with you. He felt like he’d got to know you on a different level and he appreciated who you were as a person even more than before.

Throughout the whole day he’d hoped to catch at least a glimpse of you, maybe just a tiny smile from you, but he never got the chance.

Realistically, he’d known he wouldn’t see you. He rarely ever did because the time you had to spend with the players or staff members was limited and reserved for special occasions like the photo shooting for a new season, but the whipped part of him had hoped you’d make up a silly little reason to see him.

He considered calling you, but he didn’t want to annoy you, so he eventually opted for a message. But much to his surprise, it was left unanswered.

*

To say you were nervous when you came in the next morning was pretty much an understatement. Your heart was beating out of your chest; overall you felt like you were about to faint.

“Morning.”, you mumbled quietly as you entered your office. Your voice lacked the usual excitement and happiness, but Anna’s greeting wasn’t more cheerful either and as much as it sucked, you were glad you weren’t the only one who struggled to process everything that had happened and throughout the day you noticed that it seemed as if the news had hit everyone quite surprisingly, meaning the atmosphere was tense – to say the least.

Two hours into the day – you’d barely managed to get anything done – your phone lit up with another message from Mason. The hopeful sound of it made your heart hurt, especially as you knew you’d have to leave this one unanswered. Just like the ones he’d sent yesterday and this morning.

You knew it would confuse and probably hurt him and that alone made you feel like the worst person on earth. Mason was the most genuine and kind man you’d ever met. He had a heart made of gold and deserved nothing but the best and here you were ignoring his every single attempt.  

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Anna’s soft voice and her hand on your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts. You’d been so stuck in your head, you’d not even noticed how she’d got up and sat down next to you.

“Nothing, I’m just…everything’s okay.”

“y/n, you’re crying. That doesn’t look like everything being okay to me.” She gently turned your chair and grabbed your hands. “What’s wrong? You can talk to me, you know that.”

“Not about this, no.”, you shook your head. “But it’s okay, I’m fine, I promise. Just had a bit of a moment.”

Anna didn’t look convinced at all, but much to your relief decided to play along for now and accept your decision to keep whatever it was to yourself. She squeezed your hands and nodded. “I’m here whenever you’re ready.”

You were quick in wiping the stray tears away once she’d let go of your hands, determined to get yourself together, but it was hard to focus on anything other than Mason.

Somehow you made it through the day without fucking anything up or breaking down again. You’d only bumped into Mason once. He'd intercepted you in the corridor after lunch, but you'd brushed him off with the brief information that you had a meeting.

The sad and disappointed look in his big brown eyes had haunted you throughout the whole day and now that you were sitting in your quiet kitchen, staring at the wall and trying to enjoy your dinner, it got even worse.

He didn’t deserve any of this. But there was nothing you could do. He had to forget about you and the feelings he held for you as quickly as possible and shutting him out felt like the only way. Even if it was the most painful one.

You tried watching some random show on Netflix, but with your thoughts distracting you continuously, you gave up not too long after and got ready for bed.

Mason had messaged you again a little while ago, asking how your meeting had gone, but you’d ignored it. Just like the two calls that had come in a little later. You could feel your heart breaking every single time his name popped up and your resistance crumbled ever so slightly.

You made it into bed without giving in, bravely deleting all notifications from your screen, thinking it would surely get better and be easier tomorrow, but just when you were setting your alarm another message came in, filling your eyes with hot tears.

-

A deep sigh left Mason’s left when once again there was no reply from you. Ever since yesterday evening, he’d been wondering what he could’ve done that would make you ghost him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find anything.

The date had been amazing, probably the best he’d ever been on and from what you’d said, he’d thought you felt the same. But ever since then, everything seemed to have gone south.

Looking back at it now, even you telling him you had a meeting to attend, felt like you brushing him off and not wanting to talk to him, especially as he’d seen you talking animatedly to a colleague not long after, and his heart squeezed uncomfortably at the thought of you not wanting anything to do with him anymore.

He liked you, he really liked you a lot, so you ignoring his every attempt like this felt like torture. What if you really just cut him off like that without so much as an explanation?

*

It didn’t get easier at all. The next day still felt like you were ripping your own heart out and you had a hard time focussing and not bursting into tears.

You had a feeling that Anna knew something was genuinely wrong with you, but she respected your decision and didn’t ask you again. Instead, she brought you tea and a couple of snacks back whenever she had to leave the office and whenever she’d pass you, she squeezed your shoulder in an attempt to be there for you.

You managed to avoid Mason for the majority of the day. He’d tried to catch you a couple of times, but you were lucky enough to always be a step ahead and get away from him. By his expression, you could tell just how upset he was, but as much as it tore your heart apart, you couldn’t help but keep going.

It was what was best for you. Even though it didn’t feel like it at all. And if you were being honest with yourself, you began to genuinely doubt whether you were really doing the right thing.

Later in the afternoon - Anna had just left for a meeting - a knock at your door had your heart dropping to your tummy.

“Hi.”, he said quietly. The small smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes like it usually would, and it pained you, knowing you were the one who’d caused it. “Can we talk?”

“I don’t thi-”

“y/n, please.”, Mason sighed as he closed the door behind him to allow the two of you some privacy. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”, you dismissed, trying to busy yourself with tidying up your desk a little, but it was to no use. He could see right through you, you knew that and he wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted.

“Yeah, obviously everything’s fine.”, he scoffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “That’s why you’ve been off with me right? And ignored my messages and calls. And dismissed me yesterday, saying you have a meeting when you actually just didn’t want to talk to me.”

“I did have a mee-”

“I saw you laughing with a colleague right after, y/n. I didn’t expect an hour-long conversation, you know? I just wanted a little chat after you ignored every single message those last days.”

You could tell that he was genuinely hurt by your actions, and you hated yourself for making him feel this way. You’d never meant for him to see you joking around with Ellie after you’d told him you had to leave for a meeting and you could only imagine how much it must’ve stung.

“I thought the date was great and you said you’d enjoyed it too. What happened ever since? Or did you lie back then and never planned on seeing me again?” His voice was laced with disappointment and sadness and the expression in his voice mirrored both in a way that had your heart hurting like never before.

You wanted to tell him you didn’t lie and that you’d meant everything you’d said. You wanted to wrap him up in your arms and confess how much you liked him, but instead, you got up from your desk and shook your head.

“I don’t want this, Mason.”

Mason visibly winced at your choice of words. Ever since you’d got to know him, you’d never used his full name unless you were mad at him and the fact you did now hit him harder than he’d expected. He watched you walking towards the door, obviously trying to look for an out, but he wasn’t ready for that yet.

You went all stiff when you felt his hand on your elbow, holding you back and turning you around. His eyes were hard and focussed on yours, causing you to gulp heavily.

“y/n, what’s wrong with you? What happened for you to turn on me like this? What did I do?” It was painful to hear him questioning himself, wondering what he had done wrong, when it hadn’t been him at all, but you couldn’t tell him that.

“I don’t get this at all. y/n, we got along so well, what happened? If I did something to piss you off, just tell me, please…like…just please.”

You bit the insides of your cheeks as hard as possible to stop the tears from welling up in your eyes. You couldn’t cry in front of him or he’d know something was up. Something that didn’t have anything to do with him.

Not trusting your own voice, you remained silent; simply focusing on holding back those tears.

“Look at me and tell me you don’t want this. That you don’t want me.”, Mason all but demanded. He was agitated, desperately grabbing the last straw he could find, but his heart only broke further, when you didn’t say anything at all.

You knew you’d break down if you looked at him; if you caught a glimpse of those sad eyes, so you opted to stare at the floor. The tears were brimming in your eyes and you knew you couldn’t hold the sobs back for much longer, but it was Mason huffing in disappointment, that had the first tear rolling down your cheek.

“And I thought this could be it.”, he sighed. Shaking his head he let go off your elbow and slowly trudged out of your office.

It took everything in you to keep yourself from sinking to your knees and crying your little heart out as the door fell close, but you were still at work and couldn’t cause a scene like that. Your heart was in your throat, keeping you from breathing properly and you felt like you were about to throw up any second as the tears silently ran down your face.

This was the worst you’d ever felt. No other heartbreak came close to how much it hurt to know you’d sent away the best thing you’d ever had.

You tried your best to calm down and regain your composure, but when Anna came back into the office, you still felt like you were in some sort of different dimension. Your thoughts were all over the place, pretty much wavering between making you feel like you did the right thing and like you were the worst person in the world and it didn’t take Anna more than a glance to figure that out herself.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“I erm…I’m not feeling very well, to be honest.”, you admitted, knowing it was no use lying to her when you probably looked like you’d been crying for the past hour. “I think I’ll actually head home.”

“I think you should.”, she nodded; reaching out and squeezing your hand tentatively. “Call me if you need anything, okay hun?”

“Will do, thank you.” You tried a small smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace than anything else. “See you tomorrow.”

“Take as much time off as you need, y/n. It’s just work. Whatever is going on for you, prioritise that, yeah?”

You nodded, the gratitude you felt nearly bringing you to the brink of tears again, but you managed to keep it together. Saying goodbye, you hurried out of the building and making the short drive back home where you eventually let go of everything you’d been holding in.

*

Coming into training the next day, Mason still felt awful. Obviously, he was still hurt by you pushing him away like you had, but he also felt horrible for not respecting the choice you’d made.

Sure, he was sad and disappointed, especially as you’d never explained your change of heart, but after mulling about it for hours yesterday, he’d come to the conclusion that the way he’d reacted had been out of line as well.

You’d obviously been distraught and instead of just accepting it for the time being, he’d made it worse and demanded something you’d not been ready to give to him yet. He had too much respect for you to disrespect your decisions like he had and whilst it might only hurt him further, he’d made the decision to apologise for his behaviour and tell you that he’d be okay with being friends.

Ultimately, he just wanted you to be happy and if him not being in the picture as your boyfriend was part of your happiness, then he was okay with it. Well, he would be. At some point.

The whole training session, Mason kept going over what he wanted to say to you, to reassure you he would stay your friend if that’s what you wanted and never in his life had he been happier about a gaffer calling it a day.

He quickly took a shower before jogging up to your office, thinking that after today, you and him could be back to being friends, but he was more than surprised to find it empty. Your desk looked untouched, there was no bag by the side of it and no trace of your coffee mug.

“Oh hi Mase.”, Anna smiled the moment she returned to the office. “You’re alright?”

“Yeah, erm…I’m good, thanks. You too I hope?”

The blonde girl nodded. “I take it you’re looking for y/n?”, she asked, receiving a quick confirmation from the midfielder. “She’s not in today. Rang in sick this morning to let us know she won’t be in the whole week.”

Mason’s heart dropped to his tummy. You were rarely ever sick and it wasn’t like you to sign off sick entirely instead of working from home, so the worry that overcame him was barely bearable.

“Can I help you with whatever you came here for?”

“I erm…no, it can wait until next week, no worries.”, he smiled, hoping it looked like a genuine one and not like the forced one it felt like to him.

Anna just nodded and watched him leave. She’d been suspicious before as you and Mason had always got along really well and you’d kept mentioning him, but whenever she’d hinted at there being more between the two of you, you’d denied it and explained that he’s just a really good friend.

Now however, she felt as if everything was adding up: You struggling to remember the guy’s name you’d gone on a date with, the way you’d not taken the news on Tuesday well and now you ringing in sick for the whole week after you’d obviously been crying yesterday.

She just hoped you’d figure it out and not give up on everything that could be.

Mason didn’t have to think twice about where to go as he got into his car and started the engine. He’d been determined to make things right before and now that he had the confirmation that something was genuinely wrong, he wanted to make sure you were okay even more.

The drive to your house felt like an eternity and when he eventually reached your door and knocked, his heart was beating out of his chest. What if you sent him away again?

You were surprised to find someone knocking at your door this late in the afternoon and wondered, if Anna had decided to stop by as you knew she hadn’t bought your excuse from this morning. Especially not after she’d found you after you’d cried your eyes out, but when you opened the door and it wasn’t Anna staring back at you, your heart dropped.

“I…Mase, what-”

“Anna said you rang in sick and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”, he explained quietly. You could tell how nervous he was by the way he kept fiddling with the hem of his shirt and if you weren’t in the situation you were in right now, you’d find him utterly adorable.

“I’m okay.”, you nodded, trying to shut the door subtly, but Mason caught on to it almost immediately.

“You don’t look okay, though, y/n.”, he insisted, stepping closer so you couldn’t close the door on him. He studied you for a moment, clocking on to the slightly puffy and red-rimmed eyes, the red nose and your chapped lips. I could be a cold, but it could also be because you’d cried and not knowing made him feel like he was going insane.

“Probably caught something. A cold most likely. Savannah has been coughing ever since she came back on Monday. So it’s actually better you leave. Wouldn’t want you to catch it too.”

You knew it was a poor attempt at getting him to leave again, but you were too weak to think about a proper reason. The constant crying and worrying had got to you, making you feel like death warmed up.

“I actually came to apologise too.”, Mason admitted. He scratched the back of his head. “Do you think I could come in? Please?”

You thought about it for a second, utterly confused why he was the one wanting to apologise when you’d ghosted him for days, but you eventually sighed and let him in. Having known him for years it was pretty easy to tell that he wouldn’t leave unless he got to apologise for whatever it was and especially because of the current circumstances, it would be better if he wasn't seen at your front door.

Mason really wanted to give you a second to process his presence, but the need to say what he had to say was too overwhelming, so he started talking as soon as you entered your living room.

“Look, I just wanted to apologise because the way I behaved yesterday was out of line and-”

He had so much to say, so many things to reassure you that he was okay with whatever you wanted him to be, but one accidental look at your opened notebook was all it took to shut him up. The page you’d opened on Google made it unmistakably clear that none of what he’d planned to say was necessary. You had made your decision. A painful decision made by someone he’d never thought would hurt him like this.

“Mase?”, you asked, confused as to why he’d stopped talking, but then you remembered what you’d looked for a few minutes ago. “It’s not wha-”

“Save it, y/n.”, Mason interrupted you sternly. Unlike when he came here, his expression was stoney and cold.

“Never mind.”, he said. “It was a ridiculous idea to think you’d want anything to do with me after your behaviour those last days…and to think I came here to apologise. Fuck me.” The hollow laugh he let out had chills running down your spine. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him this hurt and you were desperate to explain, but Mason wasn’t having any of it.

“Mase, I-”

“Look, y/n, you don’t have to pretend anymore. Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to date me anymore? Obviously, it would’ve hurt, but we’ve been friends for so long, I would’ve never let you go entirely. I would’ve been okay with being friends if that’s what you wanted, but very clearly, were not on the same page with that either.”

You could feel yourself tearing up at the way he got the wrong side of the stick and didn’t even let you explain things, but after everything you couldn’t blame him for it.

“No, Mase, it’s not like that, I-”

“y/n you’re literally looking for a new job.”, he huffed. “You obvs can’t wait to get away from me and whatever it was between us. Just tell me, seriously, because this is getting ridiculous. I just…this is so fucked up, I can’t believe it…I just…”

You watched him running his hands through his hair and over his face. He looked confused, angry and most of all hurt, but as much as you wanted to interfere and explain everything, you knew you needed to wait a little longer and let him get everything off his chest.

“Back in your office, I asked you to tell me you don’t want me. I fucking asked you and you didn’t have the guts to tell me straight into my face.”, he boomed. “Instead, you’re ringing in sick when you’re not actually sick but looking for a fucking new job. Just to get away from me…like…do you realise just how fucked up this is?”

“You’re getting it all wrong, Mase.”

From the look on his face, you could tell that he didn’t appreciate you saying that at all. You knew he probably felt ridiculed and taken for a fool who’d laid his heart out in front of a girl who ended up stomping all over it, but you didn’t know how to even begin to explain what was going on.

“Yeah? Then fucking tell me how what you’re doing translates into you wanting to be friends or more with me. Because I obviously don’t get it at all.”, he bellowed. “It hurt y/n, can you imagine? We went out on that date and it went so well and I really thought you were the one I’d been looking and waiting for for years. I genuinely thought we had something but instead you went all cold on me and fucking ghosted me. You didn’t even explain anything. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

You choked on your own breath as the tears you’d managed to hold at bay finally made it past the last line of defence. Here he was, laying his pain out in front of you and it hit you like a million trains all at once. His big brown eyes were full of tears, probably a mixture of hurt and anger, but it didn’t make it any less bad.

You’d never meant to hurt him and now here he was, standing right in front of you with tears in his eyes and his heart broken into a thousand pieces.

“And on top of that, here I am wanting to apologise for making you feel bad and disrespecting your decision…god this is so fucking humiliating you have no idea. I-”, Mason stopped and took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he didn’t have the strength to keep going like this anymore. He just wanted it to be over. “Look, y/n, you don’t have to leave. I know how much you love your job and the club. I’ll just stay away and leave you be. It’s like we’ve never been friends or something, I don’t know.”

And with that, he turned around, obviously leaving the choice with you once again, and you contemplated letting him leave, but you knew that this time it would be for good. And whilst it was everything, you’d tried to achieve those last days, right now you realised it was the worst thing that could happen.

You weren’t ready to lose him. You couldn’t lose him. Not when he meant everything to you.

“I’m doing this for us.”

Mason had wanted to leave. He’d been determined to stop this game you were playing with him, but your quiet voice made him freeze on the spot. He didn’t turn around, not ready to face you in case it was just another move in whatever game you’d chosen, but something inside of him wanted to hear what you had to say.

You took a deep breath, ready to lay it all out in front of him, no matter the consequences, but you were terrified it was too late. “I…with the new management, we’re not allowed to have any kind of friendship, let alone relationship with any of the first team players.”

Mason’s blood ran cold at your words. It was everything but what he’d expected you to say.

“The day after our date? We got called into a meeting where they explained that the team’s success is the most important thing and that nothing and no one can be a distraction. Apparently, someone had filled them in on the friendships that had formed and they didn’t like that administrative staff and players aren’t strictly separated, so they gave us updated terms for our contract that states that from now on, any kind of relationship and us is strictly forbidden and that whoever would break the rules would be immediately suspended. Apparently, we don’t even have to sign it for it to be effective.”

Mason’s heart hammered uncomfortably in his chest. He could hear how much it took for you to get it all out without breaking down and it made him feel even worse for exploding on you like that before.

“I couldn’t tell you cause it was confidential and to be honest, I’m not even allowed to tell you now, but here we are…”

When he turned around, his gaze was a lot softer as it locked on yours and the relief flooding your veins because of it was indescribable. Maybe everything would be okay after all?

“y/n.”, he sighed softly as he took a couple of careful steps into your direction and when you didn’t back off, he eventually brought you into a tight hug.

The warmth and comfort surrounding you all of sudden as well as the reassurance that you hadn’t broken everything beyond repair caused you to eventually collapse in his hold. Emotions, you’d been holding in for days turned into body-wrecking sobs; your fingers gripping his jumper and his arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders the only things keeping you upright as you let everything out.

Mason felt absolutely helpless. He’d never seen you like this; so broken and sad and he had no idea what you needed. On any other day, you’d been this strong and independent woman; you’d always known what you wanted and needed and of course, you’d let your guard down on several occasions with him, but never like this.

But as shit as the whole situation was, it just proved to him, that you felt the same for him as he felt for you.

“It’s okay, love.”, he whispered as he leaned his cheek on top of your head. “I got you, I’m not going anywhere.”

He slowly swayed you from side to side in an attempt to calm you down further, lips pressing kisses to your hair every once in a while, and it wasn’t long until your sobs became less and less violent. Ever since Tuesday, you’d felt as if the castle you’d built over the last years had collapsed in itself, but the way Mason kept you safe in his arms and whispered reassuring words into you hair made it all seem a bit less definite.

“I’m sorry.”, you whispered once you’d regained enough composure. “I know I hurt you a lot and I never meant to be as shitty as I’ve been. It’s just…when they handed us the updated terms, I didn’t know what to do. They said there would be consequences and I was so terrified something could happen to you and…I thought you’d just forget about me and our date if I pushed you away enough and…I’m so sorry I hurt you like this.”

Mason pressed a kiss to your head, before pulling back an inch. With his fingers beneath your chin, he tipped your head back gently to catch your eyes. They were still filled with unshed tears, but you didn’t look as heartbroken anymore as before.

“I’m sorry, too, y/n. I shou-”

“No, Mase you have nothing to apologise for.” You loosened one hand that was still gripping his jumper tightly and moved it on top of his shoulder; your thumb just about caressing the warm skin of his neck.

“I was the one who ghosted you and didn’t explain anything properly. It’s just…I like you so much and when you cornered me in my office and asked me to tell you I don’t want this, I couldn’t. And I couldn’t even look at you cause you would’ve seen my tears and…I couldn’t tell you, Mase. Because it would’ve been a lie.”

“I know.” He gently cupped your jaw with his warm hand, thumb caressing the soft skin on your cheekbone causing you to smile softly. “But still…Yesterday, I gave you the chance to explain, but everything was still so fresh and then today when I came here, I cut you off all the time and jumped to conclusions. I know I was mad and hurt, but I should’ve given you a moment to explain. I’m sorry, I didn’t.”

“No, it’s okay, Mase. You couldn’t know and when you saw the page you just got the wrong end of the stick. After how I treated you I wasn’t surprised you got mad.”

You gently kissed the palm of his hand before leaning back against his chest. His evenly beating heart doing the trick in settling you even more and when Mason ran one hand up and down your spine, you snuggled into him even further.

For a rather long while, you simply stood there, holding each other and breathing in each other’s scent. His hands continued to run up and down your spine, fingers gently digging into your tense muscles, and you kissed his chest in appreciation.

Deep down you’d always known that trying to get rid of him was the most stupid decision, but now that he was holding you like this, making you feel the safest you ever had, you seriously questioned yourself.

Mason was the best thing that had ever happened to you and it didn’t matter whether it was as your boyfriend or a normal friend, there was no way you’d ever let him go.

“I don’t want you to quit, y/n.”, Mason suddenly said. “Let’s keep it under the wraps and see where it’ll go. We obviously like each other a lot, but we don’t know if it’ll work out in the long run. Let’s just figure it our just us two and when we’re both certain that this is what we want, you can still quit.”

You pulled away from him a little bit, searching his eyes for any kind of doubt, but there was none. All you could find was the determination to make what you had work.

“Are you sure? It could have consequences for you too and I don’t want this to jeopardise your career.”

“More than sure.”, Mason smiled. He leaned down and pressed his lips to your forehead. “I know how much you love working for United and there’s absolutely no need to worry about me. If anything, I’ll be even more focused and determined to do well and impress you, to be honest.”

“Well, I am pretty impressed already, Mr. Mount.”, you giggled, pinching his sides in jest, before resting your hands on them and turning serious again. “So, we’re doing this?”

“We are.”, he confirmed and the smile lighting up his face made you feel weak in the knees. He really was the most beautiful man you’d ever laid your eyes on. “And I couldn’t be happier, love.”

Carefully, he slid his hand up your arm until he could cup your cheek; his fingers spreading just behind your ear as he tilted your head up a little. He noticed how your gaze dropped to his lips momentarily and how the grip of your fingers had tightened ever so slightly.

“I really want to kiss you.”, he admitted quietly, nose nudging yours in an attempt to test the waters and when you didn’t pull away, but instead tilted your head a little to the side, he dipped down and kissed you softly.

You kissed him back just as gently, but he could feel it in every cell of his body. The overwhelming feeling of happiness and love threatened to burst his heart, and he could tell that you felt the exact same thing.

When eventually both of your smiles broke the kiss, it was earlier than either of you wanted. You pressed your forehead to his; eyes still closed, and the small chuckle Mason let out had the butterflies going wild in your tummy.

“I like you so much, y/n.”, he whispered; both of you knowing that liking each other didn’t come close to how you actually felt, but you knew it was too early to say it yet.

“I like you loads, too.”, you smiled and with that, Mason leaned back in to kiss you again.

—————

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[snapscube]

Are you interested in the upcoming life is strange? I'm still unsure how I feel about it I'm excited but very worried how well or badly executed it could be with returning to max yknow?

i’m very interested! somewhat skeptical tbh, which is sad to feel since i fucking LOVED deck nines work on true colors, which is still my favorite life is strange. that game alone is giving me a lot of lingering good will towards double exposure and i hope it delivers. but ill admit bringing back Max is giving me some trepidation, especially within the context of what this game actually seems to be. it almost feels like max being the protagonist is somewhat of an afterthought? she doesn’t have her old powers, chloe is nowhere in sight and yet they want us to believe this game respects both endings of LiS1, and i’ll also say that i’m kinda exhausted by the idea of it being a death/murder as the inciting incident again. literally that makes life is strange 2, true colors, and now double exposure all games about the aftermath of someone close to the protagonist dying. i would have liked to see them do something new w the premise in that regard. but yeah, none of this is snuffing out my excitement for it overall! just hoping it feels meaningfully told and surprising.

[glowettee]

💌 glowettee hotline: issue #001: navigating cliquey vibes: finding your light in chilly uni halls

(some text blocked in favor of anon's privacy reasons <3)

welcome to the very first edition of glowettee hotline, where we fix your study slumps, productivity spirals, and it-girl dilemmas with a mix of soft discipline, coquette motivation, and glowettee philosophies.

i’ve been obsessed with the idea of creating a space where we can romanticize self-improvement, push ourselves academically, and embrace that girl energy, without the burnout. and after receiving 17 (!!) submissions already, i know we’re onto something magical. love you all <3 - mindy

hi darling, hope you're having a lovely, wonderful day!!

i'm so excited you reached out with your q today, because i literally know how challenging it can be to feel adrift in a sea of cliquey vibes at uni. it really sucks when you're surrounded by friendly faces in one circle but then find yourself in classes where almost everyone else seems distant, unwelcoming, or even downright snobby. i totally understand the weight of feeling unsupported especially during group work or oral presentations. so, let’s chat through some super detailed strategies to help you not only survive but thrive rn in these tricky social settings.

navigating cliquey vibes: finding your light in chilly uni halls

by mindy @glowettee (glowettee hotline, submit here for personal advice: https://bit.ly/glowetteehotline)

⋆. 𐙚 ˚appreciating your core circle & celebrating your uniqueness⋆. 𐙚 ˚

firstly, your core friend group is such a precious gem. remember, having a close-knit set of people who know and love you is more important than being universally liked. here’s how to make the most of your supportive tribe:

• before tough classes or presentations, lean on your close friends. even a quick pep talk or a smile exchanged across the room can boost your confidence. • use your circle as a sounding board for your ideas. they can help you rehearse presentations or give you tips on how to navigate group assignments. • celebrate your wins together. even if it’s after a brilliant group discussion or just overcoming a day that felt isolating, take some time to share those moments. • remind yourself daily that your worth is not determined by the acceptance of everyone around you. you are a unique, clever individual radiating positivity. never forget that.

2. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚turning group projects into a positive challenge⋆. 𐙚 ˚

group assignments can be super intimidating when you’re unsure whom you can rely on. but think about it as an opportunity to discover parts of yourself you might not have met otherwise. here are some practical steps for navigating group work:

• start by introducing yourself warmly. a simple "hi, i’m [your name]—i'm excited to work with you all" can set a friendly tone. • initiate a casual group chat or a quick get-to-know-you meet-up before diving into the work. suggest grabbing coffee or even meeting in a quiet corner of the campus to chat. • assign roles based on everyone's strengths. this not only clarifies who is doing what but also gives everyone a chance to feel valued. propose clearly defined tasks by asking, "what part do you really love doing?" or "which part feels natural to you?" • if some group members remain distant or rude, focus on collaborating with those who are engaged. sometimes, it’s okay if one or two people are enthusiastic. quality over quantity. • always have a backup plan for situations when group dynamics falter. perhaps create a personal outline for the project and set aside time to rework any loose ends. this helps you retain control over your part of the assignment, even if others aren’t as invested.

3. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚building personal resilience and managing class anxiety⋆. 𐙚 ˚

feeling out of place in classes where few familiar faces exist is completely normal, but there are some really neat ways to boost personal resilience. i like to think of these techniques as little self-care rituals that build your inner strength:

• start your morning or class prep with affirmations. say something like "i am enough" or "i belong here" as you look in the mirror. these affirmations can be surprisingly powerful. • cultivate a mindfulness practice. even just five minutes of deep breathing before class can help center your energy. use mindfulness apps or even a simple timer to guide you through a quick meditation. • keep a journal of small victories. jot down every little win, like speaking up in class or even smiling through a challenging presentation. these notes become a lovely reminder of how far you’ve come. • set up a pre-class ritual that calms your nerves. even if it’s listening to your favorite song, enjoying a cup of herbal tea, or just giving yourself a gentle pep talk, these rituals let you enter class with a positive mindset. • acknowledge that it’s okay to feel anxious. instead of trying to push the feeling away, wrap yourself in understanding and self-love. after all, every uni student feels the pressure sometimes.

4. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚creating meaningful connections beyond your immediate classes⋆. 𐙚 ˚

even if certain classes feel socially isolated, there are countless ways to build community on campus. sometimes, the most unexpected connections can blossom into the most sincere friendships. consider these avenues:

• join uni clubs, societies, or interest groups that resonate with your passion. it can be a creative club, a study group, or a casual meetup for a shared hobby, these environments tend to be super welcoming. • attend campus events, workshops, or talks. these can be fantastic settings for meeting people outside the rigid structure of classroom interactions. it's a chance to meet someone who shares your vibe and interests. • volunteer for student-led initiatives. taking part in projects or community service can show you a side of your peers that you wouldn't normally see in a lecture hall. • look into mentoring programs or campus counseling services. many unis offer support that not only helps with academic stress but also with social challenges. sometimes, sharing your struggles with someone who understands can be incredibly reassuring. • consider creating a little interest group of your own if you notice others who feel similarly isolated. even a small, informal study or discussion group can help you forge lasting bonds.

5. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚reframing challenges into growth experiences⋆. 𐙚 ˚

it’s natural to feel disheartened when you face exclusion or cold responses. but often, these challenges are little nudges guiding you to develop a thicker skin and a stronger sense of self. try out these reframing ideas:

• view each uncomfortable encounter as a step towards personal growth. every time you overcome social hurdles, you’re building resilience and learning more about yourself. • remember that some people’s unfriendliness is more about their own insecurities than any shortcomings on your part. their behavior says more about them than it does about you. • channel any negative energy you encounter into creative or academic pursuits. write down your thoughts, doodle your feelings, or even consider a blog post about your journey. creativity is a wonderful way to turn pain into something beautiful. • celebrate your uniqueness. the qualities that set you apart are what make you valuable. sometimes, it’s exactly those differences that will eventually attract the right people into your life. • let every difficult experience remind you of the person you are becoming. each challenge faced is a victory in building your inner power and empathy.

6. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚personal rituals that keep you grounded⋆. 𐙚 ˚

i believe in creating a few personal rituals to help navigate the ups and downs of uni life. these little practices can serve as anchors on days when everything feels overwhelming:

• before class, take a quiet moment to enjoy a comforting cup of coffee or tea. let that be a moment just for you, a time to gather your thoughts and breathe. • keep a small token or journal with you. it could be a piece of jewelry, a lucky charm, or even a handwritten note that reminds you of your intrinsic worth. whenever you feel isolated, hold that token and feel the support it symbolizes. • make a mini “positivity checklist” for turbulent days: 1. take three deep breaths. 2. text or call a friend from your trusted circle. 3. quickly jot down one thing you’re proud of from the day. 4. give yourself a moment to reflect on a past success. • if ever the weight of anxiety feels too heavy, try a quick self-soothing exercise like stretching or taking a brisk walk between classes. little bursts of movement can reset your mind. • remind yourself that self-care isn’t selfish! it’s essential. investing time in nurturing your well-being pays off in your academic life and beyond.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆final thoughts & encouragement⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

i know how overwhelming it can feel rn when every class and group project seems to amplify your insecurities. but darling, every challenge is also a lesson in disguise. use these moments as opportunities to cultivate your strengths, build resilience, and discover new facets of yourself. your uni journey is uniquely yours, sprinkled with little moments of growth, learning, and even unexpected joy. sometimes, the journey might seem rocky, but every bump is teaching you how to rise a little higher each time.

remember, you are not alone. even in moments where you feel isolated, your inner strength and your supportive circle are there to hold you up. take these strategies at your own pace, experiment with what feels right for you and make adjustments as needed. your story is still unfolding, and every challenge you overcome adds another beautiful chapter.

sending you the biggest virtual hug and all the good vibes!! keep shining in your own unique way and know that these hurdles are just stepping stones to an even brighter future. i hope these detailed tips bring you some comfort and clarity, and if you ever need to chat or dive into more ideas, feel free to send more asks!! remember to take care of yourself and keep believing in your incredible journey!!

and that’s a wrap on glowettee hotline: issue #1. i am so obsessed with this already, and i can’t wait to dive into more of your guys' questions.

if today’s advice helped, let me know in the replies/reblogs: what’s one habit you’re changing after reading this? let’s romanticize self-discipline together. ✨

and if you have your own it-girl dilemmas—submit them here: https://bit.ly/glowetteehotline

(psst, i read every single one. 💌)

stay soft, stay productive, & stay glowing. 🌷 – glowettee

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[jennifer-jeong]

Fluff + Slight Angst | L&DS x GN!Reader How They Comfort You

SUMMARY Headcanons on how they'd support you

CONTENT Fluff, little bit of angst, mentions their past and past traumas

WORD COUNT: 765

ZAYNE | LI SHEN

Zayne is actually very good with his words, he’s very soothing especially when it comes to academics or stress. I imagine he learned it from his time in med school both because they teach it in his classes and also because he needed to learn it for himself (med school is painfully stressful). He’s still a bit inexperienced when it comes to intimate relationships and how to communicate in them but he still does really well. He’s struggled a lot also with his nightmares and his evol, so he probably also learned a lot about coping mechanisms through that. He probably took the time to study things like PTSD, anxiety disorders, and insomnia.

He comforts you with sweet words and logical advice. If you’ve had a bad day he’ll suggest things to help you relax so you can get back to it tomorrow. He knows that life doesn’t wait for anyone and he just wants to give you a pick-me-up the best he can. He’ll make you tea, soup, and obviously also a sweet treat at the end. He’ll give you a lot of kisses and cuddles, whatever you need. He probably also encourages you to let it out and cry if you’re feeling it, he knows that it’s good for you since it’s been scientifically proven LOL. Zayne would probably have made a great psychiatrist even despite his stoic self but regardless he does make an amazing lover.

RAFAYEL | QI YU

Rafayel is just a lil guy and isn’t super good at finding the right words to comfort you with but he knows he loves you and hates to see you like this, so he does everything he can. Rafayel hasn’t had family or loved ones with him or close to him for a long time. I imagine that in his childhood, he was probably also robbed of the opportunity to learn how to communicate in a situation like this because his home was destroyed. He’s been through so much pain though and so his empathy for you runs insanely deep. He understands any pain you feel so wholly even if he can’t explain it with words well.

He comforts you with so many hugs and buys you your favorite foods. If you’ve had a bad day he’ll immediately drop whatever he’s doing and suggest you do something together. You can have a paint night, watch a movie, cook a meal, or even just put on a random show and cuddle. He knows life sucks sometimes but he knows that his life sucks slightly less with you in it and he hopes so desperately that he does the same for you. You let him know that he makes everything better though, you communicate with him both because you like using your words but also to kind of show him how you do it so he can learn too.

XAVIER | SHEN XINGHUI

Xavier is so sweet and overall just kinda goes with the flow. He’s literally an old man LOL, he has a lot of patience and loves you so much. However, sometimes this makes it difficult because you need him to be decisive with his words sometimes but he struggles with it. He’s lived such a hectic life and has already lost you once so I imagine it’s hard for him to really understand how to put things into words. Not to mention the fact that he was seemingly very protected and sheltered back on his home planet since he always had bodyguards around him.

Xavier plays dumb sometimes on purpose because he’s a silly dude but he’s extremely observant and smart. He knows exactly when you’re feeling down or stressed or anything. He’s good at reading your emotion, just kinda unsure on what to do afterwards. But upon noticing, he will always hit you with the “are you okay?” because he knows you’ll communicate with him. Even if you just say “I’m fine” he’ll know you’re not and will encourage you to do something with him until you just tell him LOL. He knows it’s something he wants to work on but he’s smart and a very fast learner, so if you come up with any sort of codes or phrases that signify certain things, he’ll catch on fast. Have a code for “I need hugs and no talking?” he’s on it, code for “I need to yap and cry?” he’s by your side. He will literally travel to the ends of the infinite universe to find you because he promised you, and you best believe he won’t ever break that promise.

|| MASTERLIST ♡ || Thank you for reading! ||

[gudfornuthin]

Hiii❤️, are you taking requests for Bernard rn? And if so can you write a Bernard x reader (she/her) where she has a very flirtatious personality and he has a huge crush on her and he lovesss when she’s being that way towards him but when he sees her talk to other people like that he’s kinda jealous and maybe end in some smut ( ofc only if you’re comfortable writing that!<3)

Jealousy looks good on you

Bernard the elf x reader

A/N: ‘tis the season and the Bernard girlies have awakened. I’m shocked at all the support I’ve received from these one shots and I’m so glad to be writing more. This isn’t my best imo, I don’t know where I was going with it so I kinda got carried away, but oh well lol. I have another Bernard request after this one and then I’ll be back to my Beauty and the Beast rewrite. Hope you all enjoy :))

“She’s doing it again.”

“Who?”

“Y/N. She’s flirting with him again.”

“Your obsession with Y/N is becoming a problem.”

This wasn’t the first conversation Curtis and Bernard had had with each other about Y/N. This topic specifically. It was known by the other elves that she was confident, and very blunt when talking to others. That also didn’t stop in the romantic sense. And Bernard knew that. She wasn’t afraid to flirt with him in front of others, and that’s why he loved it so much. It made him feel good. And also slightly embarrassed. Only because he wasn’t used to that sort of attention, especially from a very beautiful girl. He wasn’t great at reciprocating her advances, but he hoped she wouldn’t stop. So far she hadn’t. But a new ‘suitor’ had entered the picture, and Bernard was not happy. Some tall, blue eyed elf that he hadn’t bothered learning the name of was also receiving the flirtatious attention from Y/N, and unfortunately he was much better at dishing it back than Bernard was.

“I’m not obsessed with Y/N,” Curtis rolled his eyes at that remark, “I’m just curious to know why she thinks it’s okay to talk with that guy when they both have a lot of work to do.”

The younger elf snorted. “You don’t seem to have an issue when she’s talking to you and wasting precious work time.”

“You’re not helping,” Bernard huffed, walking away from Curtis and towards the workshop, trying to get the image of Y/N and the tall, blue eyed elf out of his head.

**************************************************************************************

It had been a few hours since his last conversation with Curtis, and Bernard had quickly calmed down, busying himself with tasks he had yet completed for the holiday season. However, it hadn’t helped him get Y/N out of his head. From the constant flirting, to seeing her using that charm on someone else, Bernard was unsure where the relationship stood. Was it all a big joke to her? Had she been leading him on the last few months to mess with him? Before he could dive deeper into his existential dread, a soft voice sounded from behind him.

“Hey handsome.”

Bernard froze slightly, and looked over his shoulder to see Y/N walk through the door, a stack of paperwork in her hands and a bright smile on her face. Glitter on her cheeks and nose, sporting a new dress that glimmered in the light, Bernard thought she looked like an angel ready to be set atop the Christmas tree. He shook himself out of his trance, and smiled tightly back at her, unable to form any words. He quickly turned back around, continuing his sort out of different coloured wrapping paper. It wasn’t usually Bernard’s job, but he needed the distraction, and the wrapping room was a quiet place to come in the evenings.

“Curtis told me you’d be in here and I need you to sign these papers for Santa.”

Y/N held the paperwork out towards Bernard, their fingers touching briefly once he reached out to grab them. He placed them on the side of the desk and mumbled a ‘thanks’ under his breath, barely audible. Y/N let out a small huff and strolled around Bernard, taking in his tense form.

She smiled again. “So. How’s my favourite elf doing?”

Bernard didn’t bother looking up from his work. “He’s very busy at the moment,” his tone dull and unwavering.

A hand suddenly came into the head elf’s view, and hit the desk hard, jolting everything laying on top. Bernard jumped back and looked to the side where Y/N stood with eyebrows raised and her mouth pursed.

“Have I done something to upset you?” She asked, crossing her arms and popping her hip to the side.

Bernard wasn’t sure what to say, nor how Y/N might react. He’d never been great at showcasing his feelings, especially in the romantic sense. But this wasn’t just some random girl he’d found cute once and never interacted with. This was Y/N. One of his closest friends, someone he cared deeply for. Who seemed to care deeply about him too. She was also someone he worked with. The possibility of admitting how he felt, and for her to not feel the same, it would no doubt make things awkward. And he’d hate to ruin what they already have. Even if it killed him to see her flirting with someone else.

“You’ve done nothing, I’ve just had a lot on my plate and I can’t handle any distractions at the moment,” Bernard finally replied, trying to keep his voice level.

“Really?” Y/N bit back, “because I feel like you’ve been avoiding me all day. And since when do you spend time in the wrapping paper room? When Curtis told me you were here, I was worried you might be having a mental breakdown.” She ended with a joke, but part of Bernard knew there was truth behind her words.

The head elf felt himself boiling over. His temper was short, and everyone knew that, but when it came to Y/N he was unusually chill. Her presence was good for him. Not at this moment though. He could feel himself ready to lash out, and he was worried what could be said.

“Do I have to explain everything to you? Can I not spend time alone without you knowing where and what I’m doing every second of every day?”

“I’m sorry I care about you and want to know what you’re up to! Sure you can have all the time you want alone, I just don’t like it when you avoid me completely,” by now, both of their voices were shaking and getting louder.

“I thought you’d want to spend more time with your new tall, blue eyed friend,” Bernard instantly regretted his words.

Y/N opened her mouth but closed it almost instantly, her brow furrowed and confusion clear on her face. “What are you talking about?” her voice now considerably calmer.

Bernard could feel the embarrassment wash over him, desperate to think of some excuse, but coming up short. “This morning, I saw you talking to someone. It looked like he was flirting, and you seemed to be doing the same back,” Y/N’s face softened as she begun to realise what and who the older elf was talking about. “It got to me, okay? It bothered me that you were talking to him in that way when,” a slight pause, “you usually only talk to me that way.”

Y/N shook her head, a confused look returning briefly. “I don’t understand, you never showed any interest in my flirting, why is it bothering you when I do it to someone else.”

“Because I like you!” There it was. That barrier Bernard built high for years, keeping relationships at bay, had just been broken. And he didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. “I’m not the best at showing my emotions. Romantically speaking, I’m an amateur at it. And I’m sorry I was never good at reciprocating your advances. I guess it doesn’t matter if it was just a joke to you.”

Y/N reached out quickly, grabbing Bernard’s hand and holding it close to her. “It was never a joke to me. I just didn’t think you liked me in that way so I stopped. Thought I’d try with someone else to help me move on from you.” She moved a step forward, standing toe to toe. “I knew it would never work. You’re the only person I truly care about, in that way.”

Bernard was speechless. He couldn’t stop staring into her eyes, brimmed with emotion but full of love. He mostly felt like an idiot. Never taking the chance before now to make a move or admit how he felt. He finally felt at peace. Like everything had finally worked out.

“What now?” Bernard awkwardly questioned, placing his hands on Y/N’s hips.

“I think you should probably kiss me before someone else does,” She jested back.

They both laugh and lean in, Y/N’s hands going to hold the head elf’s face. The kiss deepened, Y/N moving her left hand to the back of Bernard’s head, tugging slightly at his curls. This elicited a deep moan from Bernard’s throat, his pants growing tighter, as he tugged Y/N somehow closer to him and towards the desk still covered with wrapping paper.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” Y/N mumbled out between wet kisses.

Bernard moved to sucking her neck, most definitely leaving bruises. “I don’t know. But I never want to stop.”

They continued making out, Y/N feeling the desk behind her and sliding on top, pulling Bernard in between her legs. She felt him growing harder, and slowly moved her hand down, palming at the front of his pants. Bernard couldn’t help but whimper slightly, gripping the side of the desk as well as Y/N’s thigh. Keeping one hand on his hard on, she moved her other back up and unbuttoned his shirt, rubbing her hand in circular motions on his chest. Bernard followed soon after, taking hold of the bottom of her shirt and lifting it over her head. The couple continued kissing and touching anywhere they could reach, seeming to care little to none about the door still being open, or whether someone walked by and found them in their current predicament. They were just glad to have finally admitted how they felt. In the back of his head, Bernard reminded himself to thank that tall, blue eyed elf for bringing out the jealousy in him.

(Sorry it seems to cut short, I’m terrible at writing smut or intimate stuff but I hope you all enjoyed anyways :))

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam. I finally bit the bullet and decided to get an evaluation for adhd. (yay!) My test is scheduled in a couple weeks, but I had an intake appointment a couple days ago and the doctor I saw sent me an MMPI test to do online ahead of time. (boo.)

I hate this thing so much. There’s over 500 questions and she said it would take 45-60 minutes to complete, but I’ve spent that long just waffling over the first 75 questions so far. There are so many generalizations and binary thinking type questions, and the longer I stare at this paralyzed with indecision between two wrong answers, the more I start to feel like they are going to come back with some other kind of neurodivergent label for me.

I was told the in person testing is supposed to take 4-6 hours, but I’m getting worried that it’s going to be much worse than that given the rate I’m currently going at. Do you have any advice for getting through these? I do recall that you’ve previously said to always answer as if you didn’t have your current coping mechanisms in place.

Also, thanks for talking about all this stuff so candidly and informatively. It’s been an inspiration and a big part of why I decided to finally get tested myself. Even if this does end up telling me and I’m different flavor of nd, I’m looking forward to hopefully having a little more insight as to how my mind works.

Hey Anon, apologies this reply wasn't as prompt as it could be! Hopefully it's still posting before your evaluation. Congrats on setting that up, it can be really hard to do.

The personality categorization tests are really dreadful for lots of people, if that helps, but especially for people who are either more literal minded or extremely adaptable, because we all know a lot of behavior depends on context or on comfort level. For what it's worth, the rest of the eval shouldn't be like that. They may put you through The Questionnaire, which is a roughly twenty minute list of questions about behavior, but even then that should be easier because it's asking you mostly to recall actions you've already done.

I would recommend when you have your evaluation, bring up your struggle with the MMPI. Remember that your goal is not to get A Specific Diagnosis, it's to get the correct one, and the more info they have, the more likely that is. Be as honest as you can within the difficult confines of a process that wants to categorize things that are very difficult to measure.

The in person testing will involve much more unambiguous testing -- lots of problem solving, memorizing, clicking buttons when prompted, etc. none of it is hard; some might be stressful but just remember you're there to demonstrate your real skills and abilities. There's no way to pass or fail any of these tests. Think of them as games if that helps. I enjoyed the process as a challenge :)

And good luck! I hope it goes well for you. Bring a snack and a water bottle and if you feel unsure about something remember it's totally okay to ask for clarity. You'll do just fine.

[fairycosmos]

u can ignore this if u want but i feel like i just need to tell someone and ur my favorite girl on this website and i have no friends rn. i’m 21 yrs old and i have a lot of rlly deep seated issues, including daddy issues. my dad was never really happy with me, i was scared of him, he hit me, etc etc. i’m also very lonely and it eats at me a lot. anyways i started seeking out older men (like double my age) after i got on dating apps about a year ago. i’ve come to realize it’s because i’m looking for a father figure in them. or at the very least someone who fills a similar role. back in november i started seeing this guy. he’s 43. i cut it short by the end of the month because he was too sexually forward and im very sexually and romantically inexperienced so i wasn’t into it and thought i couldn’t be the girlfriend he wanted. a couple days ago he messages me again asking what i’m up to. and saying he wants to give it a go again, and that he’ll take things slow this time. i’m very skeptical of him, and worried he just sees me as a body, but i want to give it a go anyway. i think i’m just emotionally attached to idea of us working romantically because he’d give me a reason to get out of the house and more importantly he’s the first man to give me romantic/sexual attention that i reciprocated. he was the first guy i ever went on a date with. lol. i know i probably shouldn’t meet him again but i’m going to. :/ i’m so mentally fragile rn i feel like he’s gonna win me over as soon as i see him lol

hi hi angel im so sorry ur going through this, i can tell how much inner turmoil its causing in you and honestly i understand <3 i really feel for you, and i want to start by saying thank you for trusting me with something so raw and vulnerable. it takes so much courage to even put these feelings into words, and the fact that you're aware enough to say you probably shouldn’t meet him again already shows that deep down, you know what’s best for you. that kind of self-awareness is powerful, even when it feels small or buried under everything else. it makes complete sense that you're looking for something to hold on to when you feel lonely, hurt, and unsure, especially when someone offers attention that feels warm, validating, or safe even if it isn’t truly those things.

the thing is, looking for that kind of love in older men, especially ones who show interest when you’re in a vulnerable state, can be a really endless and painful cycle. it’s not your fault at all. when we grow up not receiving the love or safety we needed, we look for it wherever we can, and sometimes the attention of an older man feels like it might fill that gap. but it won’t, and it never really can. those wounds deserve to be healed in spaces that offer genuine care, not places where power is uneven or where your vulnerability can be used against you. i know that’s easy to say and hard to live. it takes time, distance, and sometimes years of unlearning to feel the truth of it even when you already know it in your head. and it’s completely okay if it takes your mind a while to really digest and accept this too.

i really hope you’re able to talk this through with a therapist or even just someone you trust, because speaking it out loud saying this is happening and i don’t know what to do can be the beginning of breaking the pattern. and if it helps, try imagining if it were a friend telling you this exact story. i’m sure you’d instantly question the intentions of a forty three year old man messaging someone your age again, knowing your history and how hurt you’ve been. you deserve that same protective instinct for yourself, even when it feels impossible. i know this can feel like a softer kind of self-destruction, like maybe it's not that bad, but it is still hurting you. and that matters. you matter. please try to put your own safety and well-being first, even if that means saying no to something that feels good in the moment. that kind of care for yourself is something you’re absolutely worthy of, even when it doesn't feel like it.

i’m twenty four now and even in just the last couple of years i’ve started feeling my brain actually shift regarding this sort of thing. things that used to feel so important just don’t anymore. that kind of attention, the kind that once made me feel seen or wanted, now feels empty because there’s no depth to it, no real love or growth. it’s okay if it takes time for that change to happen in you too. there’s nio deadline and no shame in still being in the middle of it. you’re doing the best you can with what you’ve been given. i’m always here if you ever need to talk or vent and please please try to keep yourself safe first. you have the power to interrupt these patterns. sending so so much love your way for real, i really mean it when i say im here for you and i get it!! x

[just-unknown-works]

(what my brain comes up with when I’m unable to draw so have a text post. May potentially draw it later down the line if I feel up to it.)

TWST AU -ShoenSpade Stepbrothers AU-

~The reason why they weren’t in each other’s “going home” events~

White rabbit fest:

Dylla: *looks around the group of friends* Hm…?

Epel: Something the matter Mrs. Spade?

Dylla: Oh! I apologize I was just wondering where *looks to Deuce* your brother was?

Deuce: He’s busy with work. I thought he, or pops, told you that he couldn’t participate cause they were working on the same project…?

Dylla: Ah! That makes sense. Though your father neglected to tell me it seems…*smiles darkly*

Deuce: *under his breath and sweating slightly* Pops is in trouble…

Vil’s red carpet cadets (note: Eric has a mild dislike of Ace because of the fact that he almost got Deuce kicked out of NRC on their first day + the fact that Ace bullied a blind person, despite them all being friends now):

Eric: *takes in each face of the people Vil brought* Oh? I don’t see your brother anywhere. Did something come up?

Vil: Yes unfortunately. Two things came up so he couldn’t come.

Eric: *raises an eyebrow* What two things?

Vil: One club thing and…*glances at Azul before leaning towards his father and whispering* One remedial lesson. Apparently he didn’t do to well on one of his tests. I was however able to bring his friend Ace with me. *nods his head subtly towards Ace before going back to sitting up properly*

Eric: Ah I see. *looks towards Ace and gives a darkened smile slightly laced with malice*

Ace: *sweats and gives an awkward smile*

Ace: *mentally* Did I do something wrong???

Bonus! How each of the parents feel about Yumehara:

Dylla: Thinks she’s a sweet girl who gets along with her son really well. Worried and fussed over her when she went to the White Rabbit Fest since there were lots of people there. Thinks Deuce might be bi (and potentially poly) because of his interactions with her and how he talks about Jack (do I plan on making this a ship in this au? Unsure atm). Overall thoughts- Yumehara’s a 10/10 and she hopes she and Deuce will always be good friends (also happy that the mobility aid her and Eric agreed on, it took a bit to agree on one, when Deuce asked for it is very useful).

Eric: A very polite young lady who is very self sufficient and independent despite being blind. He also thinks she’s really intelligent (was able to figure out that Vil and Deuce were brothers just by the way they talked about each other). Likes that she finds Vil and himself so reliable to guide her when she walks (had heard from Deuce that she enjoys being guided when they walk so he ended up doing it after they met). Glad she is good friends with both of his sons and hopes that they will remain friends for life. Overall thoughts- She’s a 10/10 in his books, especially when she tells him stories about Deuce.

[batsovergotham]

I really admire your writing and the way you structure the story. When I read, it feels like I'm actually reading the main source material. How you capture each character's essence and characteristics (especially Mark) warms my heart. I hope your art gets the recognition and appreciation it deserves. Authors like you that know how to take a character and inject it into their own plotline while staying loyal to their traits is what makes this community strong. -🌭

(spoilers for the Invincible comics ahead!) :)

ahhh thank you so much this seriously means the world to me. i’m so glad the story and characters feel true to you, especially mark. he’s been one of my favorite characters for years (literal childhood crush lol), so i care a lot about writing him accurately and with depth.

and yeah… not to be That Person, but i do cringe a little when i see how often he gets mischaracterized in fandom. people love turning him into this super submissive, shy, softboy who just stands in the corner looking awkward and unsure 24/7 and like, yeah, he can be sweet and dorky sometimes, but that’s not who he is at his core.

mark is emotional. he’s reactive. he stands his ground. he’ll argue, push back, make tough decisions, and live with the consequences. he’s not some passive guy waiting for direction he argues with people constantly.

COMIC SPOILERS BELOW!!!

like the scene at oliver’s funeral?? he literally punches Allen in the middle of his grief because he doesn’t want to be told how to mourn and thinks it's allen's fault. he lashes out because he’s hurting. or the way he constantly pushes back against cecil, eve, nolan, the coalition, allen, everyone. he questions people, even when it’s uncomfortable. and eventually? he becomes a leader himself.

and yeah, the show softened him a bit early on, which makes sense. but comic mark has way more edge. he jokes more, pushes harder, and he’s got this balance of confidence and introspection that makes him feel real, even at the end of the comics he still has his flaws although he's calmed down a lot. his character develops as time goes on and i feel as though it's rarely shown in a lot of fics.

you can also always tell when someone hasn’t read the comics or even fully watched the show, because the version of mark they write just doesn’t reflect who he actually is. and the thing is you can really tell when someone hasn’t read or watched the source material. they write this version of mark that’s so overly softened and submissive, it just doesn’t feel like him at all. and don’t get me wrong mark can be submissive in certain situations (and that’s fun to write too), but he’s not spineless. he’s not a pushover. he swears, he has opinions, boundaries, and a very real sense of self. stripping that away makes him unrecognizable.

so yeah thank you again for this comment. it seriously means so much that you picked up on all of that. i try really hard to write a mark who actually feels like mark, not just some flattened version of him. <3