#i’m very attached to the thought of rich having a little sister now

[sea-jello]

rich has always seemed like the type of guy to have a little sister, like maybe 6 to 8 years old

[tomwambsgans]

that gay brother/little sister post you reblogged was soooo juicy so now i wanna ask your thoughts on gay roman (i’m absolutely a gay roman truther)

so i'm not attached enough to roman to have TOO many pre-formed thoughts on this but i'm gay enough i can't not have thoughts, so. another disclaimer, due to my lack of attachment i'm not whatsoever married to the notion of either kendall or roman (or shiv for that matter) being gay as opposed to bi. however i have eyes and a brain so i know they're all not straight, like that much is basically textual.

but anyway. when it comes to any of the roy siblings and homosexuality, i'll say my very first thought is this monologue from Angels in America. not that they would necessarily have that exact ideology about it, but those notions would greatly inform their attitude about themselves. imo roman, with his inclination toward fascistic masculinity in particular, would be the most likely to overtly think these things, and i do think he kind of does. roman knows that he's unable to get off with normative sex, but he also explicitly derides "liberal butt-love" and implicitly (sometimes explicitly) all the non-conforming and gender-bending stuff that goes along with it. that's at least partially because he's talking about a category of people that he does not belong to, due to being far above it. it's often the case for those who are rich and powerful and condemn the same "deviant" practices that they themselves engage in, whether it's gay sex, or just generally non-normative sex, abortion, etc. it's okay for me, but not for you.

but that's just one piece to roman's puzzle because there's also clearly shame wrt masculinity (logan's masculinity) and also some sexual trauma involved. i think kieran and/or one of the writers has said something about not wanting to pin Why Roman Is Like That on anything in particular, like not wanting to definitively say that something happened to him as a kid, but honestly i think it's extremely unlikely that he'd be like that about sex if nothing did. maybe it was very complicated and it not any singular event, but there's got to be something. some sexual depth to his childhood abuse that never got explicitly touched on. other people much more invested in roman than i have done really good meta on the roys' relationships to their bodies (like w the Summer of Competetive Eating Disorders), so i'm not gonna try to rehash those other ppl's thoughts, but in short that's the sort of thing i think of when i'm trying to imagine what the fuck happened to roman. like just over-arching themes of The Boot throughout roman's life, the lack of ownership over his own body in a way that reflects femininity and strips him of manhood, whether at home or at military school, etc.

i mean, we (as in the audience) are definitely at least supposed to wonder, like when it's implied that Mo's pederasty wasn't exclusive to girls (Don't Get In The Pool With Him), but also, if anything of that nature happened to him and informed roman's relationship with his sexuality, i have to also think that roman doesn't actually remember. his whole thing in austerlitz where he jokes to connor "i'm gonna tell them you diddled me" gives me the sense that maybe roman just kind of wishes it was that cut-and-dry, because then he'd have something specific to blame his whole deal on.

anyway. this is about roman being gay, not specifically sexually Weird - i just think the context of all that is relevant to how he'd conceptualize himself and any gay feelings he has. and i do think that if and when roman has ever had sex with men, he probably does lump it in with the fact that he can't have Normal sex. i think roman would have to undergo a lot of character development to ever consider it normal sex. honestly, simply recieving a handjob from his personal trainer was likely "wrong" enough for roman to get off despite how the average gay man would see it as extremely vanilla compared to roman needing to be degraded or fantasizing about necrophilia. growing up with logan "i didn't figure you for a faggot" roy would have, of course, really reinforced the ideas about that being Wrong.

(speaking of logan dropping the f slur, i think it's interesting that despite how roman acts anti-woke in front of others, he's shocked when logan says it. it's clearly crossing a line even for him, almost certainly because he's been abused with this word throughout his life. :'/)

so yeah i don't think roman would ever call himself gay (or even bi or queer) even if he is. and as for the matter of if he is, like as in, if tabitha and gerri are exceptions... i honestly don't know, but i don't think roman knows either. i think the relationship he has with love and sex, his own body and others, the very concept of desire and the love and affection and closeness he seeks out... are genuinely so gnarled and complicated, and wrapped up in all the aforementioned shame and abuse, that figuring out where gender factors into it would - once again - basically require years of therapy on his part.

it's definitely very plausible to me that kinky, non-normative sex is something he only needs in order to get off with women because he has no innate desire for them even when he loves them (and roman definitely has a lot of love inside of him that he will bend over backwards to give and recieve). but it's just as plausible that roman's association of feelings of wrongness with sexual pleasure is in fact unrelated to whatever gendered desire he has or doesn't have. his attraction to men is, funnily enough, more undeniable to me than his attraction to women is, but i do think that how it's portrayed in the show emphasizes roman's role in the world more than desire he holds inside of him. i always think of that one tweet that's like "whenever there's a guy that needs to be seduced, instead of shiv or some other hot woman they send roman." and his role as the Desired One (aka Practically A Woman) is likely a sort of spite factor in him wanting to deny overt homosexual interest too, since it's kind of imposed on him before he has a chance to say anything about who he is.

it's funny bc roman is the one male character where like... i simultaneously like the idea of them being gay and enjoy their relationships with women. he's just so complicated that he kind of exists outside the constructions of sexual orientation? like not in the "he's closeted and he's never coming out so even if he's gay, he's also not" way, but "this guy would not be able to figure out how to define attraction or desire to begin with." gerri being the love of his life and the notion of him being gay are not whatsoever mutually exclusive in my mind, because he's just that complicated.

finally i wanna say, again, that i'm not extremely attached to roman. nowhere near to the degree that i care about tom and greg. which i say because yknow.. i want to kill and maim when i see anything implying that either tom or greg are anything but gay. idk how you feel about it but i'd totally sympathize if you were the same about roman, lol. and i wanna emphasize that it's very likely the only reason i'm not necessarily a gay roman truther is because i haven't thought about it enough. i'd love to see anyone else's gay roman meta if they have it.

[ask-the-seven-sins]

lust, n.

Sexual appetite or desire. Chiefly and now exclusively implying moral reprobation: Libidinous desire. (The chief current use.)

i’m ngl i donf know

they’re a little silly…

they’re one of the richest of the sins after greed because of their sex factory and the mass amount of sex toys they sell

they dont really have a preference on who they fuck or love

although they dont really love cuz theyre the sin of lust

they/she 🧐🧐🧐

relationships/opinions

wrath: THEY HATE WRATH SOOOOO MUCH.!!!!! CANNOT STAND HIM AT ALL!!!!! ANNOYING LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!! they love him. is very open about it to him but not around the other sins, they wanna have more moments with him just two on two even if it’s just simple getting to know each other— it feels like they haven’t seen much about wrath and they really wanna learn more about him.

sloth: no comment, they haven’t really interacted much

pride: ehhhh…. shes silly, lust likes bickering with her. the two are like frenemies

greed: still no comment but not as bad as they thought greed wouldve been

gluttony: STILL absolute fire 🔥 finds her fun to be around and easy to entertain, bonus points because she always agrees with them and it boosts lusts ego

envy: sees envy as a silly annoying little cousin

FUNFACTS!!!!

• lusts name is ivy!!

• youngest of 3

• is a sinner— lived in the philippines in manila when they were alive

• like mentioned earlier they have two siblings, a brother and a sister :3 all three of them are in hell but their parents are in heaven (i have yet to name the two)

• ivy doesn’t really talk to their siblings, nor do they bring up the fact that they have siblings at all

• they can travel to earth, they have yet to tell the other sins except for wrath since he already knows… pride has a small idea

• their human disguise resembles what they used to look like as a human

• they don’t really remember how they learnt to have a disguise, it kind of just came to them one day

• theyre extremely rich because of the insane amount of horny sinners in hell— making their business extremely successful

• despite being the sin of lust, ivy does not condone or have any tolerance for forceful relationships

• one of ivys favourite manwhas is i love amy

• although they can change their appearance, ivy has grown attached to the one they have now and refuses to change their pink hair and height. they will if they really have to, though

• they like to sing, but is extremely embarrassed about how they sound

• ivy used to be a cheerleader and is extremely flexible

• hates veggies

• extremely picky eater

• the portals they use for transportation are made up of crystals

• when they first became a sin, they didn’t really talk to everyone and were extremely closed off. the sins still don’t know much about ivy other than their persona, the one that’s extremely overconfident and loves… sex!

• ivy is extremely fragile (laufey?) and sensitive— even if they get comfortable with you lucifer knows how long it’ll take for them to actually talk about their problems with you

• used to have long hair, cut it after their first relationship in hell

• is still in contact with the ex from their first relationship, ivy has an unhealthy habit of knowing when people are bad for them and yet it only makes them more attached

• extremely touch and attention starved

• clingy, extremely clingy

• physical touch is lust’s love language :3

• when they’re feeling upset, they’ll either ignore you or go up to earth

• seeks validation from literally everyone, whether it be a random imp at their club or one of their fellow sins

• teases all the time but when they’re getting teased they immediately shut up

• laufey and sonic fan!!!!

okay sorry …. it’s so long here are what i think the sins would be if they were sonic characters based on mh knowledge.

lust - rouge

wrath - espio but lamer

envy - mix of tails and knuckles

pride - surge

sloth - tangle

gluttony - charmy

greed - blaze

[brokenhcrt]

HEADCANON DUMP ; STORM SIMMS

headcanons from previous blog

storm has been to a few warped tours

storm's main jewellery, ones you would almost always see him wearing. a pick necklace, it was originally just a plain silver one, but then the pick was lottie's favourite colour, he also has his mother's wedding ring on it too, his father said he could have it ( haven got their mother's favourite bracelet and engagement ring ), he has a black ring he wears on his left middle finger - it was given to him on his 18th birthday by his mother.

that is what he will always wear, he will wear other jewellery as well

the pick will change colour to what ever his so fav colour is

If you find out Storm's birth name, do not use it as you'll find it's one of the few things that set him on edge, and a constant useahe will result in him getting angry

honestly, the only time blythe, storm’s father, got very angry was when storm told him what had happened between him and haley. his father, called up haley’s father and yelled at him for raising a spoiled entitled brat who hurt storm, not long after storm’s mother had passed away at that

if i’m honest, if you end up close to storm. you could just rock up to his parent’s home, walk yourself in, and act like it’s your house - and his father and sister wouldn’t care. they’re use it already from his band members. you will not be kicked out of the house, just asked if you ate the last of the cereal

now....i’m not saying the simms family dressed up as the addams family one halloween..... but they totally did.... blythe - gomez, rebecca - morticia, storm - pugsley & haven - wednesday

date storm & you get a song. simple. he will eventually end up writing a song for you

His sister is a dancer, and he makes sure he goes to every recital he can of hers to support her even when the band kicks off and if he can't make it in person will call her and let her know he supports her and loves her and wishes her the best at the recital

Storm is the kind of person to call his S.O baby

Storm, instagram only: stormsimms

Storm doesn’t really have any social medias. He has an instagram but like, that is it and he barely posts on it. If he posts on it, it’s generally band related stuff, is friends, his s.o but extremely rare if it’s him himself ( unless promo for band )

while storm’s lockscreen is generally his partner if he has one, it’s his bandmates if he’s single. his homescreen will forever be his favourite photo of him, his dad & mum and sister. bc it’s with his whole family smiling and it is attached to a great memory.

when in a relationship. you can bet that storm’s phone background is his partner

storm 100% get’s his kind, caring nature from his mother

dating storm includes: him buying you cute little gifts. him buying things that remind him of you. him taking you with him to his mother’s grave with him. kisses and hugs a lot. kisses on the cheek, forhead, hand - everywhere kisses. hugs from behind. soft cuddles. him playing songs solely for you. him learning your favourite songs and playing them for you. matching jewellery.

Storm’s last serious relationship was when he was nineteen, not too long after his mother died in fact. It lasted nearly four months. It was a girl named Haley, she was an old friend, the daughter of his parents friends. Though, his parents stopped being friends with them because they were one of the sets of people who were judging Storm for his non confirming ways that they thought that the rich should look like and act, and what music they should listen too. The relationship ended when Storm found out that Haley was only dating him to piss of her parents and she wasn’t up front about it. Had she asked, he might have been okay with it. He didn’t like being used, so he dumped her. He’s been a few dates here and there since then, but nothing has stuck yet.

how he says 'i love you' without actually saying it: Helping out when he can, always lending ear for you to talk to and buying small gifts he knows you would love. He notes everything you say away in his mind, and does at times buy little gifts that remind him of you

storm writes a song - in later years, called heartbreak sisters. the inspiration is the daines’ sisters. he uses different names, but he knows both girls stories and thought it would make a good song. it’s about how these two girls who are so different from each other and the struggles they’ve gone through and how they despite everything the heartbreak sisters are just trying to be there for the other.

Storm has seven tattoos. He has a his sister ( tulips ) and mother’s ( desert rose ) favourite flowers over his heart. Stick n Poke star in the crook of his neck, near collar bone, left side done by Andy. A sword on his inner upper right arm. A crown at the base of his neck. “eat the rich” written on his left arm, at the wrist. Skull on his right shoulder blade. Mini Maze on his right thigh & ghost on his inner left arm

storm’s mother died when he was nineteen, it was from car accident, she was coming home from work, and she - just didn’t make it because a drunk driver hit her car, she had died on impact.

storm does like a few pop bands - one he loves is little mix. only people he allows to make jokes about it are his band mates and his sister. 

storm is a people pleaser... but literally only to those he cares about and close to him. he’s the first person to reassure you that he’s there for you, or just to tell you whatever you want to hear - even if it’s cheesy as fuck. he doesn’t care. because he wants everyone close to him to be happy. though this people pleasing doesn’t go without boundaries as in he doesn’t push his boundaries when people pleasing - and in fact can be quiet blunt, if the person needs to hear it too.

for one halloween storm dressed as slash

storm’s parents home isn’t the biggest, it has five rooms - three of which are guest bedrooms. his parents don’t like to flaunt their wealth as much as their old friends did. it’s part of the reason their children aren’t the ‘stereotypical’ rich kids. luxury ( a want not a need ) items were treated as such and everyone in the family worked hard to get the things they want. the only time their parents let them have the money without working for it was when it was to help a friend out.

storm’s family is always donating to charities. they always research the charity first as well.

storm would 100% wear a shirt that says ‘eat the rich’ and if you call him out for being from a rich / wealthy family he will say ‘i said what i said’

there was a moment, where andy’s drumkit had been broken, everyone suspected it was the guy harassing her. andy cried at seeing it. storm brought her a new one

radiates big brother energy. 

will not hesitate to step between you and someone bothering you

practically an older brother to andy

hates his legal name, you call him that - he won’t listen, call him storm

will let you play with his hair

[bluesky88diary]

Want to share with you foretaste of new book. Please enjoy it ^ ^,

January 14, the day I decided to make a gift for myself. What it might be? Heading upstairs to the garret with following crunching sound I am recollecting memories of childhood days. Who didn’t escape from parents and home tasks into some hidden nook? Garret is perfect place for curious little explorer to find or store riches, read fairy tales, write dairy, watch stars and fall asleep when rain takes a walk over the roof as if telling lullaby.

Creak of wooden doors and treasure trove is open again. Furniture wall with all goods still yet in place, nothing changed. At first sight black and white TV reminds me dandy times and all that fun I used to have, but also some horror movies. One of them was about hungry doll swallowing everything and everybody. “Is that creepy monster somewhere here?” I quickly check few closets. Nothing. “Where she gone?” Then I look up and freak out at hanging down white plots and staring at me glossy eyes, watching after every move. “Oh, there you are. I thought you finally found new victim but nope”. Actually this is my sister’s doll, very neat about two feet tall pretty doll, but after that movie she turned into monster I couldn’t fall asleep afraid of her. Also I remember on another side wall Persian antique carpet. As a kid I had rich imagination and at night those patterns become alive, telling scary stories among tiny citizens inside mysterious carpet. Then I hide myself under the big warm blanket with only one wish - wake up in the morning.

In one of closets I find grandpa’ hats from 60’s like in old movies, sun battery calculator like my first ever computer, jewelry and gems, sweets and whiskey, several porcelain services, even fishing rods in secret shelves. One of the secrets was right beneath TV. Once I found in that cache dollars but had no idea what those papers are about. Good I was smart enough to guess it might be something valuable if was hidden, otherwise I could get in big troubles paying with 100 bucks bill. However it was a cache, so in my turn I decided to hide there toys too. Next time there was only my toys and no more cash.

Finally old forgotten but found again in wooden drawer notebook. Blue cover, black worn out trimming with vintage look. I like aged things because they contain time and can tell many stories about past days, one’s memories and maybe feelings or even more. Nothing more exciting than delving deep into your favorite books, old diaries, unsent letters, dreams after all. All together they hold time in frame of my life, giving me opportunity to travel beyond borders of daily life. However, for those who like me love the vintage look, bring a new book can be a struggle, that’s why I went on garret to find old notebook and make wonders to begin. This might be step to get into the art of memories, to give old story new title.

Quickly I found colorful paper and cut out a shape for a sticker with new title “Blue Sky”. Let me cut out of shiny golden paper some round flecks to adorn my baby with warmth of sunshine and accomplish this look. One more thing is missing, my fountain pen brought form Paris. You might guess right, this pen also contains few stories to tell. I attach the pen on side of Blue Sky like a feather of soaring bird and now all perfect.

Excuse me, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Leon the traveler and I’m about to tell you, dear love, wonderful story of my life, journey written on vintage pages of Blue Sky. Thus without haste make your favorite beverage and fit comfortably in your cozy nook. Miracles begin here.

New year steped in and new page was born, the first of many. Fresh story falling in droplets of ink on paper, which with times passing by will become good wine with taste of valuable memories. Untold story to become well known song of our love, the story about our blue sky that can unite two hearts in eternal relationships.

Today I went on journey among memories and countless stars, among many constellations to find only one shining in your heart, to find and keep forever inside of my heart and hearts of many who might yet to come after us. This is my gift of love for you, my beloved flower.

[sylverstorms]

Cassandra x Maiden----Anonymity

Three months, two days and seven hours.

That is how long you’ve been in Dimitrescu castle for. If rumor is to be believed, you are well on your way to setting the year’s record for longest living maid. Well. ‘Maid’, according to their perception. Your mind always automatically corrects it to something more fitting:

Prisoner.  

You did not choose to work for them. You did not choose to be in this godforsaken place, cleaning crimson stains off the floors, trying to convince yourself the wailing that sometimes reaches your ears is simply the wind. You never would have imagined your life’s end like this, serving wine –no, who are you kidding, it’s too crimson for that— to the Dimitrescus at dinner until one of them snaps and drives the nearest blade into your throat.

Probably Daniela.

It’s not unheard of. And stories of other maids’ murders are plenty.

Daniela has bitten one’s throat off for the crime of addressing her wrongly. Cassandra has left increasingly deep gashes, some of which resulted in deaths, for random offenses, like staring at her for too long. Bela, arguably the more merciful of the three, has snapped necks only when the staff disrespected her sisters’ names, or her mother’s.

You aren’t sure if you want to thank the older maids for this information or yell at them for the nightmares it has caused you. You are lucky to not be in the village, they say –everyone there must already be dead. You are even luckier to have been taken from the dungeon by the Lady herself. It means the daughters don’t know you and the castle is big enough that they may never spare you a glance.

You hadn’t believed it, at first.

Yet in the three months of your stay, you have never come across anyone other than Bela in the sections you were assigned to clean and polish. She passed you by the hallway like she did the decorations and the furniture –and you couldn’t be happier about it. You have caught scarce glimpses of Alcina Dimitrescu, too. Never the other two residents.

Not until the fateful day another maid disappears and the staff’s assigned posts change. You have no say in it and no power to object.

May as well keep my head down and continue to work as carefully as I have. That is the idea. Not to look too much, or think too much, or feel too much. Avoid mistakes because those in the castle are fatal.  

It is a little difficult to remain utterly calm when the sound of swarming insects comes from far behind you, though.

Your blood starts to kick in your veins. Your heart wants to jump out of your chest and make a run for it. You lock your muscles down and summon all the willpower you possess to stay focused on your task.

Please be Bela, please, please, be Bela—

The buzzing dies down. Steps approach you in the otherwise silent hallway. They are too light to be Bela’s. You’re probably screwed, you think, but you keep cleaning the surface in front of you until it’s practically a mirror with how it shines.

The steps halt too close to you for comfort. Out of the corner of your eye, you realize they’ve left bloody imprints on the floor you’ve been polishing for hours now. Dainty, pale fingers are wrapped loosely, almost lazily, around a sickle dripping crimson.    

“Never seen you around, before.” the sound of her voice makes you freeze.

You stop and turn— to face none other than Cassandra Dimitrescu. Her hood is down, brunette waves on point, the dried blood at her chin a terrible contrast to her otherwise attractive face. You… didn’t know she was that pretty, up close.

“I… I have been here for three months. On the opposite wing.” you say. Was I even supposed to reply? You’ll find out soon enough, if your tongue is still attached to your body.

Her eyes give you a quick once-over. “Bela’s been keeping you a secret, huh.” she tsks. Her free hand goes to the handle of the door next to you… and only then do you realize it must be her bedroom. You’re literally assigned to clean the wolf’s den. “Come wake me up when the sun has set, completely.” she emphasizes.

What.

“Uh—”

The crimson-dyed sickle moves until its blade rests underneath your chin, lifting it so your eyes meet hers. From this angle, under the pale lighting of dawn, they look more –stunning— blue than inhuman gold. “No loud sounds. No lights. Got it?”

How can you not, when your life depends on it?

“Yes, my lady.” you reply. You don’t even dare draw breath.

“Good.” In one swift movement, the sickle is gone, the handle turned and she’s already shedding her robe.

You catch a glimpse of a black corset and a narrow waist before you avert your eyes.

The door shuts.

...

Waking Cassandra up can be… tricky, the other maids tell you.

She detests light when she opens her eyes but she also doesn’t want it to be pitch black. You’re not supposed to talk but you can’t shake her, either. Which brings you to the very logical question:

“What the hell am I supposed to do, then?”

To which they have no answer.

They have no answer, you realize with a start… because there’s nobody alive to tell the tale of how to actually wake the brunette sleeping beauty up without simultaneously signing their own death sentence.

The hours pass both too slow and too fast. The sun sets over the horizon.

And you stand, riddled with nerves, outside Cassandra’s room.

A deep inhale later, you turn the handle. The door is left half-open so a bit of light comes in from the hallway. Her bedroom smells like shampoo, bath salts and spices. She must have taken a shower before she went to sleep. You approach the figure tucked under the silken sheets of the queen-sized bed…

Cassandra is lying on her side, one hand underneath her pillow, the other extended loosely towards the edge of the mattress. She probably sleeps naked, at least from the waist up, but thankfully the covers are wrapped around her chest. Their royal red color makes a stark contrast against the paleness of her skin.

Her face is so… serene.

She is a monster and a sadistic killer, yet right there you can’t deny she looks more like a renaissance painting.

Now onto the hard part.

“My lady… the sun has set.” you whisper, kneeled on the floor beside her. No movement comes. “Hey… I’m here to wake you up?” you try again. Still nothing. Shakily, you bring your hand up to the bed. Not daring to touch her, you leave it beside hers, over the covers. “Cassandra?”

She turns her face deeper into her pillow –no, no, you don’t think it’s cute, what’s wrong with you— but at least she’s finally reacting. You call her name one more time.

Her nose scrunches up a little. Long fingers flex –and they touch yours. She’s cold. A pair of blueish ambers blink open to regard you. Not with malice, or with annoyance.

“Good evening.” you speak, unsure of what else to say.

A smirk slowly curves her lips. She looks like a lazy cat pondering whether or not it’s worth it to pounce and that’s not good. It’s not good, not ‘hot’ like your mind suggests. God, you’ve been in this castle so long you are starting to get messed up.

��Mm, breakfast in bed.” she grins and licks her lower lip sexily. Your eyes fly wide open, but her hand is already gripping the front of your black shirt, trapping you there.

How could you ever find this psycho attractive?! you get mad at yourself. Is she hot now that she’s going to kill you?  

But Cassandra only lets out an airy laugh and releases you. You fall backwards on your behind. “Breathe, darling, I’m joking.” She rolls onto her back and seems to wince from it. Her smile vanishes.

“…does… your back hurt?” you ask when you finally find your voice again.

“Ugh, a Lycan landed a hit on me. He’s pieces now, of course, but my muscles still pull.” she says it casually, like it’s a thing that happens.

Silence falls over the room. You take it as your cue to leave. You stand and bow while she’s looking blankly at the ceiling—

But she stops you.

“Wait. Come here.” you don’t like it when she gets that tone, like she came up with something she cannot wait to try. You’re already close to the bed, you’re not sure what she means. Until she pats the spot right next to her. “Don’t make me say it again.”

You won’t. You know what’s good for you.

Hesitantly, you take a seat on the –admittedly very comfortable— mattress. “Yes, lady?”

“Give me a massage.” she says like it’s your job, like she’s the rich woman in a spa and it’s what’s expected. She turns onto her front, bearing her naked back to you and you have less than five seconds to come to terms with the thought of straddling her.

Carefully, you bring your knees on either side of her thighs and pull the sheets so they rest low at her waist. You feel warmer than you should given the temperature of the castle. If she knows the fine teasing line she’s walking, she is loving every inch of it.

Cassandra loves being the center of attention and she loves being pampered, you realize.

It’s probably amusing to her to make you fluster, but this is also an opportunity for you to get on her good graces. She is a dangerous one and it’ll be a great asset for your survival if she’s leaning favorably towards you. Win-win situation. You just have to be good at your job. Like always.

By some miracle of God, you do know how to work the tension out of muscles.

The first time you touch her, you simply rest your hands on her back to warm it. She doesn’t seem to object, from the way lean muscle stretches out under your fingers. Cassandra feels cool, but not hard like marble. Her skin yields under your touch, soft and smooth.

As you apply more pressure to your stokes, she starts to let out little sighs that you have to mute in your mind before they start to affect you. You’ve been high-strung and without sex for too long. Your body all too eagerly intercepts this death-trap as foreplay.

Minutes roll by.

You alternate between all the methods you know. The one that really seems to get her is when you drive your thumb into the knots and end with a little circle.

Cassandra is –God help you— openly moaning every time you press more. It is a bit too much pressure you’re applying though and you don’t know if you’re hurting her and she’s just into it.

“Is this too much…?” you ask. Fuck, why do you sound so breathless?

“No, it’s good.” she husks back.

“Harder?” You don’t know what innocent means, anymore.

Cassandra sends that little smirk again over her shoulder. “Harder.” she replies and the extra flair she puts into it is enough to nearly fry your brain. And other parts of you.

You’re pretty sure you need a cold shower by the time you leave her room.

...

At diner, you hang back in the shadows, gaze downcast.

You do not need to know what the Dimitrescu family is eating, nor what they’re drinking. You do not need to see Cassandra or risk catching Daniela’s gaze. You love your anonymity in the castle. It has kept you alive.

But it is shattered like frail glass when you bring another bottle of Sanguis Virginis to the table. You’ve almost retreated back to your place, when Daniela’s eyes zero in on you.

“She’s the human!” she exclaims like she’s made the world’s most startling discovery. Bela seems to understand, but the Lady and Cassandra frown over their glasses.

“I am almost afraid to ask, love.” Lady Alcina says…

And she’s right.

“The one who made Cassandra go ‘harder’ and ‘yes, yes!’ earlier this evening.” she impersonates in her sluttiest voice and then breaks into a fit of cackles. Bela’s lip twists into a withheld chuckle.

Lady Dimitrescu nearly chokes on her wine.

Cassandra slaps the back of Daniela’s head. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Girls.” Alcina warns and glares until the table calms again.

Then, her eyes curiously fall upon you.

So much for your anonymity.

Ko-Fi

[nights-legacy]

Wolf Sitting-Kirishima

Main Masterlist MHA Masterlist

-3018 words

+After a day off and out with your sister, you come back to find things are topsy turvy. Kirishima had been turned into a wolf on patrol. Bakugo explains what happened and tells you that Aizawa has put you in charge of the canine. Since you had an animal communication quirk coupled with being able to take on qualities of countless animals, he thought it would work out the best.

“Yes, yes! I just made it back to the dorms.” I said into the phone. “I promise I made it safe. Geezes sis, I training to be a pro! I think I can walk home and know how to defend myself if something happens.” She laughed at me and saying she surrenders. “I’ll call you tomorrow. I promise! Bye!” I hung up with a huff.

“Have fun today?” Uraraka asked across the room. I laughed while looking at my phone, checking my email.

“Loads but my sister can be very, very exhausting.” I said. She laughed with me. She walked up to me and handed me a file. “What’s this?”

“You’ll see.” She gave me a sympathetic smile before walking out.

“Oookay.” I said before taking my shoes off and switching them out. I walked into the common room and passed the couches before double taking. On the couch was a giant red and black furred wolf passed out with all four feet in the air. I gaped for a second before someone called me from the kitchen.

“Hey beastmaster!” It was Bakugo. I walked in and gave him a questioning look.

“What’s with the…”

“I’ll get to that in a moment.” He interrupted before turning back to whatever he was working on. I waited patiently, looking out into the main room every now and again. The wolf barely moved from his position. He pulled a pan of food. “That…” He wiped his hands of and pointed towards the wolf. “Is Shitty hair. He got hit by a quirk out on patrol today that turned him into a wolf.”

“Shit. Really?” I looked at him surprised. He nodded.

“That paperwork is everything Recovery Girl could give us plus a low down on the guy’s quirk that turned him into this.” He pointed to the file that Uraraka gave me. “I have been in charge of him since this happened but now you’re in charge of him. Because of you quirk and all. I really don’t give a fuck.”

“What? I am not the only one here that’s able to communicate with animals.”

“Yeah but you are closer to shitty hair then Koda and a hell of a lot more out-going. Plus this was ordered from the Human Catepillar. Sorry not sorry.” He said before walking away with his food.

“I really wish you would stop calling Aizawa sensei that!” I just got a gruff in response. I groaned before looking at the file.

I opened it to read over what I up against. Recovery Girls notes said that the quirk should last for a couple of days, a week at most. He is still normal Kiri just in a dog form. There was a note from Aizawa saying that I still had to bring Kiri to class since he can still comprehend everything.

“He is going to hate that.” I said laughing. I read over everything and sighed. I got up and walked into the other room. Kiri had shift on the couch but was still asleep. “Hey Kiri.” I poked him. He moved a little but didn’t wake up. “Kiri.” I tried again. “Kiri!”

“Roup!” He let out a surprised sound before falling off the couch. He wiggled around on his back trying to get to his feet. He finally got to his feet and looked around startled. He finally found me. His tail started wagging.

“You really got into a predicament didn’t you?” I asked crossing my arms over my chest. His ears laid back for a moment.

Yeah. I did. I didn’t see him there until it was too late. I heard him say in what everyone else would have heard as a whine. He sat down and looked up at me with puppy eyes.

“Well it could have been worse I guess. Are you hurt otherwise?” I asked looking him over. He came up to just below my waist in this form. He was huge.

No, a bit sore but nothing bad. I am more itchy than normal though he said. What did Aizawa decide on the situation? He asked while scratching behind his ear.

“That’s good. Well he decided I am going to be the one taking care of you for the time being. Since I seem to be the best qualified for this situation.” I said. I saw his eyes light up when I said that causing me to chuckle. I moved forward to scratch his head. “Umph. And the first order of business is a bath for you.” He whined before catching himself.

Why does that bother me? He asked and I laughed.

“Probably the wolfie side of you. Come on, to the showers.” I said. I started walking towards the showers. I checked to make sure no one was in the girls showers before leading him in. “Go on in. I got to grab some soap and stuff.”

So this is the girl’s showers? Mineta and Denks would be so jealous if they knew I was in here. He he. I rolled my eyes before walking to the toiletries closet. I looked through and found the best things I could for a wolf.

“This was the best I could find. I’ll have to go and get some real dog shampoo…” I looked and saw Kiri was up on his front paws on the sink looking at himself in the mirror. He looked conflicted. “Are you alright?” His fur bristles in surprise before he looked at me, hopping down.

Yeah. Just checking to see the damage. He said.

“In my opinion, you’re a very handsome wolf.” He perked up and his tail wagged enthusiastically, giving away his happiness. “Come on then, time for a bath or shower more like it.” He drooped a bit before following me.

Giving wolf Kiri a bath was a trip and a half. The paperwork said he was still Kiri in there but he still had a lot of tendencies of the canine breed. Like playing in water. By the time we finished I was as wet as he was. I turned off the water before turning to stare at him. He was sitting there with his tongue out and wagging is tail.

“Well you’re going to be a handful.” I said. He paused eyes looking around.

What, why? He asked but then he did the wolf equivalent of blanching. Oh…Sorry about that.

“It’s okay. Now we need to dry you off. Come on.” I got up and wrung some of the water out of my shirt. Thank god I didn’t wear white today. I grabbed the towel and threw it over his head. It took longer to dry him then it did to wash him. I ushered him out to the common room again and up to my room.

Am I even staying with you? He asked. I nodded and went to pull out clothes for me.

“It’s for the best since I’m in charge of you. Now I am going to take my own shower. Be good and don’t, you know…Do any bad dog stuff.” I said before pausing. I nodded and left to take a quick shower. I got back quickly to see Kiri dozing in my bed. “Ack-hem.” He jumped to attention.

Sorry. You bed is just so comfy. He went to jump off the bed before I stopped him, laughing.

“It’s fine. I was just messing with you. But you will have to make room when it come’s time for bed.” He nodded. I sat at my desk, pulling out my homework for tomorrow. “Oh and by the way, Aizawa sensei said you still have to attend class even in this wolfie form.

What?! WHHHYYYY? He whined and barked unhappily. I just laughed periodically through the evening, people stopped by to check and see if Kiri had really been turned into a wolf. Denki was having a blast with it, even going as far as to play with him. Even Aizawa stopped by to check on us. He received an angry bark about having to go to class from Kiri.

“Ah man!” I yawned and stretched. I looked over at Kiri, who had all four paws in the air like earlier. “How is that comfortable? Whatever, time for bed.” I turned the lights off and shoved Kiri over to get into bed. He repositioned himself to give me room. I could feel the heat coming from him and it wasn’t too long before we were out.

The next morning I was woken up by a very antsy Kiri needing to go out. I quickly stumbled around and helped in outside. Yawning, as we walked back in, Bakugo and Iida chuckled at us. I gave them the finger and in response got more laughter from Bakugo and a scolding from Iida.

“Aw! He’s so cute.” Mina squealed as we sat in class waiting for Aizawa to get there. The rest of the class who hadn’t seen him the night before were gawking over him now. I left them to it and sat down at my desk.

“Rough night?” Midoriya asked.

“No, not really. Well the bath was but not much else.” I told him. I looked back at Kiri who had Mina attached to his neck. I chuckled. “Just new.”

“How is it taking care of a dog version of the guy you are whipped for?” Bakugo said. I tensed before throwing my notebook at his head.

“Shush!!”

“Why you!” He jumped up and turned to charge at me but a loud bark and growl made everyone freeze. We all turned towards Kiri to see him standing at attention and everyone backed off him.

Damn, it’s 8am. Calm down you angry Pomeranian. It was just a notebook. He said. I laughed as he came and sat down between us.

“What?! What did he say?” Bakugo exclaimed.

“He said it’s just a notebook and to calm down.” I said between the laughs. Kiri looked back at me expectantly. “What? I am not saying the other part. I don’t want to die today.”

“What was the other part? Tell me!” I looked back a Koda, who had an amused smiled on his face. I looked at everyone else behind me before at Midoriya. He looked like he wanted to know too.

“Angry Pomeranian.” I said before me and Midoriya burst out laughing.

“What!” He yelled before chucking my notebook back at me and turning his complete attention to Kiri. “That’s rich coming for you.” The two started arguing even though Bakugo had no idea what Kiri was saying. We were all getting a kick out of it until Aizawa walked in.

“DO I EVEN WANT TO KNOW?” He yelled above the commotion. I shook my head and reached out to pull Kiri back by the nape of his neck. He made a confused little yip before turned to me with confused, puppy eyes. I swooned and laid my head on my desk.

“You’re too cute like this!” I exclaimed. He poked me with his nose and I playfully swatted him away.

“Okay, okay. Everyone CALM!” Aizawa yelled. Everyone scurried to their seats. “I know this is different and amusing but you can gawk, fight, and whatever else after school. For now, pay attention.

“Yes, sensei.” We all chorus. Kiri sat by me the whole day, surprisingly not dozing off like he does normally. The other teachers were a little more inclined to give leeway to the situation. Lunch Rush even had something special for Kiri at lunch. The other classes were dumbfounded by our ‘indifference’ to the situation but we were used to strange shit happening.

“What is Kiri supposed to do about training?” Denki asked All Might as we came into class.

“He is exempt for training. There is not much he can do in this form. Can you even activate your quirk Kirishima?”

I don’t know. I haven’t even thought about trying to, SQUIRREL! I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh as he got distracted. He looked over at me in embarrassment.

“No he hasn’t.” I said strained.

Glad you’re amused by this. Kiri whined, before laying down and crossing his paws.

“Well, we will not worry about it. You have Miss Y/N if you need anything. Now let us go!” He said. Training went by smoothly and Kiri decided he wanted to run around and bark us on. He was even able to pull a few of us out harm’s way a few times.

“That was awesome. Can we keep Kiri as a wolf all the time?” Denki asked. This caused Kiri to pause and send a soft snarl his way. I could tell Kiri was getting tired and I smiled. I scratched his ears and head. He pushed back into my touch.

Days went by like this until a week had passed. If I had to go out for my internship, the rest of the class took turns keeping an eye on Kiri. There was even times that they called and had Kiri talk through the phone because they couldn’t figure out what he wanted and Koda wasn’t around.

“Damn.” I groaned, falling down on my bed. I buried my head in my pillow before I heard the door open.

“Hey L/N, just bringing Kiri to you.” I mumbled out an okay and thank you. I heard the soft thuds of his paws as he walked in. I heard him sit down next to me on the ground. I turned my head to see him looking at me with his head cocked.

What’s up? He asked.

“Just a rough day on the job. I got beaten up pretty good today.” I said sitting up and rubbing my neck. He set his head down on the bed. I could tell he was worried. “I’m okay Kiri. Just a little sore. Come on, let’s go to bed.” He walked over and hopped up onto his back legs to turn off the light switch. He then jumped up on the bed and stretched out along the length.

I woke up in the middle of the night to a weight against my back. I groaned and pushed my elbow back against the weight.

“Kiri back off a little.” I said. A groan was the only response. I sighed before trying to settle back but then I realized it was a human groan. I shot up and felt an arm slip down my waist. I saw a very human and very naked Kiri next to me. “Ahh!” I screamed before pushing him away and unfortunately off the bed.

“What the…” I heard him groan. He sat up and rubbing his head. He looked around and his eyes widen, looking at his hands. “The quirks gone. Yes.” He then looked down. “Oh shit.” His head whipped up towards me.

“Hi.” I waved shyly. “A set of clothes are on the dresser. I got them in case you changed.

“Oh thanks.” He said with a blush. I turned towards the wall so he could put on his clothes. “I’m decent.” I turned and he was standing by the door, rocking back and forth on his feet. After a bit he finally spoke up. “Should I go back to my room?”

“No, it’s late. Might as well stay.” I said.

“You’re right.” He said. He walked forward but stumbled a little bit.

“Not used to walking two legs?” I joked. He glared a bit before shaking it off. He reached up and shook his hair out, brushing out a few knots he found. I admired him as he moved, reorienting himself with his human body.

“That was a learning experience. I have a new found respect for wolves now.” He looked at me in amusement. “I don’t know how you can do that all the time, even if it is only half-way.”

“Guess being born with it gives me and advantage.” I said pulling my knees up.

“I would say so.” He joked. He stretched and I heard his back pop. “Oh, that felt good.” I shook my head and looked at the clock. It was just past 1am and I could feel sleep calling my name again.

“Come on, let’s get back to sleep.” I pat the bed next to me. I looked away blushing. I pulled the covers back as he sat down. He moved in and pulled the covers over him. We sat there in silence. He looked like he wanted to say something. “Something on your mind?”

“Huh, oh yeah. Um, L/N?” I hummed looking at him. “Is it true what Bakugo said?”

“Which time? He has said a lot in the past week.” I chuckled. He rolled his eyes but he had a small smile.

“The first day. When everyone was fawning over me. He said you are whipped for me?” I froze in shock. I bit my lip and looked down. I nodded meekly. “Oh wow.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make this awkward.”

“NO! No, you didn’t.” He said before setting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him. “I like you too.” I smiled at him. He smiled back before a yawn interrupted. I chuckled before brushing hair away from his eyes.

“Let’s get some sleep. We have all day tomorrow to talk things out.”

“Alright.” He smiled before laying down. I looked down at him before lying next to him. I heard him let out a breath before he moved closer, wrapping his arms around me tentatively. My eyes were starting to grow heavy and I snuggled into his chest. He was still warm, not as warm as before but it still lulled me to sleep.

Tag list: @spicy-therapist-mom

[heyyyharry]

Deep End - Chapter 6: Andersen’s Fairy Tales

…in which Harry teaches Ezi how to read.

Word count: 4k

AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.

WARNING: MATURE THEMES

All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist

Wattpad link

A/N: please please let me know what you think. I can't write without motivation 😭

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When Harry finally decided to answer his mother’s call, he had prepared himself for some verbal ass-whooping. He was twenty-four years old, a celebrity and a millionaire, yet still getting scolded by his mother on a daily basis. Life was good.

“Is your date okay?” The first thing his mother said to him was this. At first, Harry thought he’d misheard it. But then she repeated the question in a more urgent and concerning tone. “Harry, is Ezili okay?”

His mother had never remembered the name of any girl he’d brought home. His mother always had a lot to say about the way those girls had dressed, talked, and carried themselves. Had Ezi charmed his mother with her siren magic?

Harry shuddered at the thought. “Y-Yeah...why?”

“Dawson told me you and Bax got into a fight at the manor.”

Harry smacked his forehead. Fucking Dawson. “How did Dawson know?”

“He found Bax lying on the floor.”

Although Harry hated to recall that night because he couldn’t imagine how scared Ezi must have been, it was funny to think about how pathetic Bax must have looked when Dawson had found him. The mental image made Harry laugh. “See?” he told his mother. “It wasn’t a fight if it was one-sided. I beat him up.”

His mother exhaled sharply. Harry could imagine her with her eyes closed, shaking her head. “The only reason I will let you get away with fighting your cousin in my house is because I know what he was trying to do with Ezili. So I called to ask if she was okay.”

“She’s okay. Don’t worry. I think she also scared him.”

“She’s a woman. Any strong woman would’ve been terrified in that situation,” said Harry’s mum. “I feel bad for having let that happen. I shouldn’t have invited him.”

“It’s not your fault, Mum. He’s always been scum.”

There was a pause, and Harry knew exactly what his mother was going to say. “Bax’s parents have always hated us. They envy your father. I think they’re trying to sabotage our wine business. Maybe if you’d change your mind--”

“Mum, we’ve talked about this,” Harry sighed. “I love my career. I can’t...I’m not a businessman like Dad. Isn’t Dawson doing a good job managing our family business already?”

“He is. But I know your father would’ve wanted it to be you.” When Harry stayed quiet, his mother knew it was a sign that this topic shouldn’t be continued, so she switched to another. “You should invite Ezili to lunch at the manor.”

“Mum, that wouldn’t be necessary.”

“Nonsense! Her first time in our house and she got absolutely traumatised. I’ll make up for it. I’ll send you an invitation in the afternoon.”

“Mum, there’s no need for an in--”

But his Mum already hung up on him.

Sighing, Harry sunk back into his chair. A staff member knocked on the door and informed him that he would have to return to the set in fifteen minutes. He told them he got it and intended to call his mum again and try to talk her out of the lunch thing with Ezi. That was when he got another call.

“Don’t tell me someone’s injured. It’s only been an hour.”

“Worse!” Niall screamed. “Dawson kidnapped the girl!”

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Ezili didn’t know if the bookstore was small or Harry’s house was just too big, but she liked the cosiness of it in contrast to what she’d always been used to. There were bookshelves climbing all the way up to the ceiling. The walls were covered with hundreds of books of all sizes, and there were dozens of piles on the floor in the corners as well. But seeing that most of the furniture was covered in dust, Ezili guessed they didn’t often have visitors.

She wondered why nobody wanted to come into this fascinating place. She loved books even though she couldn’t read or write. She’d found a few books in her room and some of them had pictures, but she could only guess what the stories were about. So she wanted to read, but it would be something her mother would never approve of. If she learned to read, she’d become a laughing stock for her kind for sure.

Entering the bookstore, Ezili and Dawson were greeted by an old lady with crazy chestnut hair that looked like she was wearing a fluffy dog on her head. Her eyes were huge behind those thick round glasses that gave her a psychotic kind of look that absolutely terrified Ezili.

“Hello, love birds,” she said with an ear-to-ear grin. Ezili could not take her eyes off the shiny wires attached to this lady’s teeth. They sparkled every time she opened her mouth. This woman must be rich if she wore silver on her teeth.

“Oh, we’re not birds,” Ezili said as she pulled Chilli tighter to her chest.

The crazy lady hugged her stomach and burst out laughing. “She’s a funny girl,” she told Dawson, pointing to Ezili, then her face turned serious. “But no cats allowed.”

“She’s with me. Her name is Chilli and she’s very nice--”

“She can stay here while you pick your books.” Before Ezili could protest, the lady took the black cat and put it on the counter. “So what are you looking for?”

“Thank you. We’ll just have a look around,” Dawson said with a tight smile and pulled Ezili with him. They turned into one of the aisles and heard the lady telling them she’d be here if they needed help. What kind of help would you need in a bookstore? It wasn’t like books would attack you.

“The Book of Wisdom,” Dawson said as he took out one colourful book from a higher shelf. Ezili peered over his arm as he scrutinised the front cover. He smelled like coconut and summer, which reminded her of those tropical islands she’d visited with her mother. And the fact that he was a lot taller than her made her want to bury her face into his chest to get soaked in that homely smell. But then she remembered what Harry had taught her about consent. Realising her chest was touching his arm, she stepped back and felt him relax a bit more. She hoped he didn’t think she was sexually hairdressing him. She had no idea why they called it hairdressing, and she kept forgetting to ask Harry.

“Hey, why do they call it hairdre--”

“Lesson 1: Be polite.”

Ezili jumped and hid behind Dawson’s back, her heart pounding violently. “Did the book just..talk?”

“Yeah, it’s a talking book for children,” Dawson chuckled. “I like your sense of humour.”

He flipped to a new page and the book talked again, “Remember, kids, if you accidentally raise your voice with someone, always apologise to them. It’s not nice to yell at other people.”

Ezili couldn’t decide if she was in awe or creeped out by the talking book. Maybe a little bit of both. But then her eyes zeroed in on a picture of a beautiful siren on one of the covers. She passed Dawson to try and was trying to reach for the book when his hand landed on her shoulder, and she looked up to see him grab the book without effort and hand it to her with a smile.

“You like this? It’s the new edition of Andersen’s Fairy Tale.”

“The Little Mermaid!”

“Yes.” Dawson’s eyes squinted behind his glasses. “You’ve never read Andersen’s Fairy Tales?”

“I have,” Ezili lied, hugging the book to her chest. “I want this book.”

“Great. I’ll buy it for you. As a gift.”

Harry had told Ezili that humans couldn’t just take the things they found because they would get arrested, and apparently, they couldn’t fight and kill each other for things either. It didn’t sound fair and was kind of stupid. Why were humans so dependent on these stupid papers they called money? Ezili couldn’t understand how their inferior brains worked sometimes.

“Hey, look,” Dawson said, holding up his phone that was buzzing in his hand. “Harry’s calling.”

Ezili couldn’t care less about Harry now. She let Dawson speak to him while she flipped through the book to look at pictures. But...why was there a picture of the prince and another girl? Didn’t he marry Ariel? She tried to look for the ones that revealed the new ending, which was apparently different from what she’d seen on the telly, but the rest of the chapter was just text and no pictures. She hated this. She wished she could read.

“Yeah, she’s here with me. The bookstore is just a few blocks near your house…” Dawson finished the call with Harry and turned back to Ezili. “He’s coming to pick you up.”

She found it strange that Harry would speak about Dawson with such hatred, like the way Koa would speak about Ezili, while Dawson had always been so nice about Harry. She couldn’t recall him saying anything bad about Harry when in fact, she could go on and on for days about Harry’s bad qualities. And she’d only known him for a week!

“Why doesn’t Harry like you?”

The question seemed to have caught Dawson by surprise, but he was quick to put on a smile.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m helping his mum run the business his father left for him. But he was the one who didn’t want it. He wanted to become a singer.”

“Harry’s mother doesn’t want him to be a singer?”

“No.”

Ezili closed the book and gave an understanding nod. “My mother never lets me do things I like, either. She never thinks I’m good enough because I’m not like her.”

“I’m sure your mother loves you,” Dawson said. Ezili liked the twinkle in his eyes and tenderness in his voice when he reassured her. Maybe he had a special gift that only sirens had. The gift to charm anybody they wanted. “Every mother has their own burdens and loves us in a different way.”

“But...if they love us, should they want us to be happy?”

Ezili didn’t know where that had come from. For the last twenty years of her life, she had never once thought of this. Why now? Why now that she decided that she could have been happier if her mother hadn’t been the way she was? But sirens were all supposed to be the way her mother was. Cold and dangerous like the ocean itself. So did it mean...did it mean her mother and sister were right? That she was too weak and emotional to become Queen?

“Ezi!”

The sound of her name pulled her out of her own head. She snapped her head up to find Harry padding toward her. He looked just like that night when he’d scolded her for biting his cousin. She hated this Harry.

“Let’s go home,” he told her coldly.

Before she could reply, he took her wrist and pulled her with him. The book fell to her feet and she was too appalled to even pick it up. She was about to remind Harry that Dawson was standing right there, but then she realised Harry had intentionally ignored his cousin.

“Ezili, your book!”

Harry and Ezi stopped before they got into the car parked out front. Dawson handed her the book and beamed. “I already paid for it.”

“Thank you.”

“Very nice. Get in, Ezi.”

Dawson seemed slightly annoyed by Harry’s attitude, but he didn’t act on it. Instead, he gave Ezili another gentle smile and told her he’d see her another time. Then, he went back inside the bookstore.

Ezili wished she could have stayed with him.

“Rescue mission accomplished!” said an energetic voice as Ezili got into the back of the car. A stranger she had never seen before peered around the passenger seat and smiled at her before he started speaking in a funny accent, “You’re welcome, by the way. The name’s Niall.”

Chilli was sitting on Niall’s lap, licking her own paw, which showed that she was comfortable around Niall, and Niall wasn’t an enemy. To human Ezili, of course. All humans were enemies to sirens.

“I’m Ezili,” Ezili said, then, she recognised the funny accent. “You’re Niall...Horan?”

“You know me?”

Ezili could feel her grin stretch from ear to ear. “I saw you on TikTok! You’re so funny.”

“Look, H, a fan!” Niall exclaimed as he shook Harry’s shoulder, but Harry didn’t react as he manoeuvred the car back onto the road. “I like her already.” Niall laughed. “I’m Harry’s best friend. Are you following my TikTok?”

“Yeah. I’ve watched every single one.”

“Good, good, good,” Niall said, nodding slowly. He turned to the front and back to Ezili immediately. “Also, I’m sorry about what happened to you. The accident must have been awful.”

“What?”

“Niall,” Harry growled. “Seatbelt.”

Niall flinched. “Sorry.”

Frowning, Ezili hugged her new book and sunk into her seat. She hated this Harry. He reminded her of a whale with a toothache, and even with that image in mind, she still couldn’t laugh. That was how angry she was with him. Yes, she was angry with him being angry with her. And for pulling her out of that beautiful bookstore. For making her drop her book. For holding her hostage like a prisoner. For being rude to Dawson. She hated him. She hated Harry Styles.

So when they’d arrived home and he told her to go inside and hang with Niall, she had to chase after him and let him know how much she hated him.

“Harry Styles!” She called when they reached the white stairs leading to the enormous courtyard where he’d parked his car. “Why are you upset? You have no right to be mad at me after you lied to me.”

Harry stopped halfway down the stairs; it seemed like Ezili’s words had finally hit him. He slowly spun around with a stunned expression as if she’d accused him of manslaughtering. “I didn’t lie to you,” he said, his jaw tight. “I told you to stay in your room. You were grounded.”

“You didn’t tell me that you’d leave me with your assistant and Niall!”

“But I didn’t lie to you.”

“Telling half-truths is telling lies.”

Harry held Ezili’s gaze for a long moment before he started ascending the stairs. She stiffened as he stopped right in front of her, leaned in, and stared.

“Oh, so you’re so honest, aren’t you?” he asked in a mocking tone. “You’ve never lied to me?”

“Never,” she said confidently.

Well, that was also a lie. But since when had Ezili felt bad for lying? She’d eaten men like him. Why did his presence now make her nervous?

She hated that the more she stayed human the more human she became. That thought terrified her even more than the possibility of getting caught and killed in this foreign land.

“I’ve never lied in my entire life,” she added, making Harry's eyes grow wide.

He said nothing, and when he turned to leave, she hurriedly followed him down the stairs. “Speechless by my honesty?” she asked.

“Speechless by the lies that come out of your mouth,” he said. “Is your name even Ezi?”

“No, it’s Ezili.”

Harry let out a scoff but he didn’t stop, so Ezili grabbed him by the arm and spun him around. Hard.

“Shit! How are you so strong?” he cried out, facing her again.

“Apologise.”

“What?”

Ezili folded her arms across her chest and sharpened her gaze. “Apologise right now.”

“For what?”

“For yelling at me.”

“And why should I apologise for yelling at you?”

Ezili bit her lip. The voice inside her head told her to push him down the stairs. She could just say it was an accident, and no one could prove that she’d done it. However, she needed him alive. Sucking in a breath, she said, “Because that’s what decent people do. A talking book told me that.”

“You mean those children's books you found in the bookstore,” Harry taunted, giving her a despiteful smirk.

She scowled at him even harder. “Apologise.”

“Fine,” he breathed. “I apologise for yelling at you. Now you apologise for stealing my cat.”

“I tried to save Chilli. You see, your assistant said something about the Master of the House being dead. I thought you were dead. But she was only talking about a show--”

“Yeah, famous Netflix show. It’s good. But that’s still no excuse for taking my cat.”

“Fine.” Ezili glared at him. “I’m sorry for stealing your cat.”

“And for getting into Dawson’s car.”

“And for getting into Dawson’s car.”

“And for leaving with him and liking him.”

“And for—What is your problem with Dawson?”

Instead of answering the question, Harry pulled out his phone, looked at it, and then told Ezili, “Go inside. We’ll continue this talk when I get back.”

He was just about to run when she pulled him back by his sleeve. He gave her a ‘what do you want?’ kind of look as she stammered, “When...when you get back…”

“Yeah?” He stressed out the word, an eyebrow arched impatiently.

“Can you teach me how to read?”

“What?”

“Teach me to read. Are you deaf?”

“You can’t read?”

When Ezili shook her head, Harry’s frown transformed into a smile. “That explains a lot.”

She smacked him on the arm and he gasped and leapt down two steps.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing! Why are you so aggressive?” Harry winced and backed away from her. “We’ll talk about this later. Now go inside and film a TikTok with Niall or something. I’m late for a photoshoot.”

Ezili opened her mouth to ask him what time he’d be home, but Harry had already run back to his car.

.

.

.

Harry got home at around 10 PM. He’d had a rough day. His manager had been furious because he had run out on a magazine photoshoot without saying a word to anyone. In his defence, he’d been in a rush, and couldn’t figure out an excuse to cover up for the fact that he’d almost let a mythical creature get loose. He shouldn’t have been so careless and left her with his assistant and Niall. That was his fault. Also, he could never think straight when he was angry. He thought about the look Ezili had given him when he’d pulled her out of the bookstore. The look Dawson had given him. Fucking Dawson. If it wasn’t for him, Harry wouldn’t have had to be mean to Ezi.

“Hey.”

“Jesus!” Harry shouted when the light switched on and he saw Ezili sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room. “Wha--Why are you on the floor? Get up.”

“This is Chilli’s favourite spot so I thought I might try to see how comfortable it is. Pretty uncomfortable, I must say.”

Harry rolled his eyes and offered Ezi a hand to help her get to her feet. “Why are you still awake?”

She pulled away from him and rushed over to the table to grab the book Dawson had given her. She shoved it at him. “You promised to teach me to read. This is a collection of fairy tales. Andersen’s Fairy Tales. I noticed that one of the details from The Little Mermaid story was different from the film, so I want to know how the story actually ends in the book.”

Harry sighed as he took the book and looked at the cover. When he glanced up, Ezi was giving him these big puppy dog’s eyes with her hands clasped together in front of her chest. “It’s late,” he said tiredly.

She shook her head. “You promised!”

“I can just tell you the ending.”

“No, I want to read!”

“Fine, fine.” He put his hands up, left palm out, the other holding the book. “I guess there’s still time to teach you the alphabet then we’ll call it a day.”

Harry could have sworn he had never seen anyone as excited about learning as Ezi was, which was quite amusing, he must admit. So they sat on the couch as he taught her the alphabet and how to put letters into words. She was a fast learner, so it didn’t take long for her to memorise everything.

“It’s been three hours and I still can’t read,” Ezili whined as she hit him with a pillow.

Shocked, Harry blinked at her. “That’s not how learning works. You need time.”

“You said my brain was more developed!”

“Yeah, but still!”

Scowling, Ezi kicked Harry’s feet. “You’re the worst teacher ever. I’ll never get to know how it ends.”

“Okay, Miss Drama Queen,” Harry scoffed. “How about I read you the story now, and when you can read on your own, you can practice by rereading it?”

Ezi thought for a moment, then the line between her brows eased, and she nodded once. “But you must teach me everyday until I can read.”

“Fine,” Harry breathed as he opened the book. His body stiffened when Ezi suddenly leaned on him like he was a pillow, her cheek against his arm, and he could feel every beat of her heart.

“Go on,” she urged him, giving him a nudge.

He cleared his throat and opened the book, trying to distract his naughty mind with the innocent words of a fairy tale.

Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal, it is very, very deep; so deep, indeed, that no cable could fathom it: many church steeples, piled one upon another, would not reach from the ground beneath to the surface of the water above. There dwell the Sea King and his subjects. We must not imagine that there is nothing at the bottom of the sea but bare yellow sand. No, indeed; the most singular flowers and plants grow there; the leaves and stems of which are so pliant, that the slightest agitation of the water causes them to stir as if they had life. Fishes, both large and small, glide between the branches, as birds fly among the trees here upon land. In the deepest spot of all, stands the castle of the Sea King. Its walls are built of coral, and the long, gothic windows are of the clearest amber. The roof is formed of shells, that open and close as the water flows over them. Their appearance is very beautiful, for in each lies a glittering pearl, which would be fit for the diadem of a queen...

By the time they’d finished one-third of the story, Ezi had already fallen asleep with her head on Harry’s shoulder. Harry wished he’d read this to her in bed so he wouldn’t have to carry her upstairs now. She was small and slender, but he’d had a bad day, so even the littlest inconvenience could bring down his mood. Cursing under his breath, he picked her up and carried her to the stairs as she curled against his chest like a little cat.

When her eyelids fluttered, he thought she was going to jolt awake, but then her brows knitted, and she murmured, “Mother, please...give me more time. I will bring you the heart…the heart...”

He chuckled and put her down on the bed.

[snellyfish]

I’m not really doing too well, if it’s alright could I have some Kiyo headcanons? Preferably just Kiyo, if it’s not too much to ask. It’s also fine if you don’t want to send any/respond.

Sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon, anon! ♥

A lot of these are pretty fucking grim but I promise there’s also some nice lighthearted ones in here somewhere 😭 Mentions of animal death and some classic sibling abuse in here;;

I always kinda viewed him being mostly raised by his sister: Never really had an attachment to his parents because he was very young when they died and any grieving he may have needed to do was swindled by his sister just trying Too Hard to move past it and coming across like “we didn’t need them anyway.” So I do think that he just really needs/wants parental figures / mostly a maternal figure in his life of any kind, since he lost his real one and was forced to depend on another. He doesn’t know how to cope without one.

Definitely a weird kid growing up, no friends in school but everyone was also too scared to bully him directly. Honestly believed he had a lot of friends in school at the time because he would just ramble to other kids about horrifying things and they’d run away crying, and his sister would have to drill it into his head later that he has no friends. Thanks, sister.

^On top of that I definitely think he’s on the autism spectrum...somewhere in there.

REALLYYYY liked dissecting frogs, probably tried bringing his own dead animals he found to school so he could dissect them in class...his sister was brought in MANY times by teachers to give him a stern talking to.

Had a secret highschool crush, probably not realizing it was a crush, and was trying to flirt with her like “I want to dissect you so bad.” Probably got kicked in the knees. But hey! Now he’s a big fan of human anatomy!!! #feminism

I think he was a peaceful kid otherwise, he would always try to pet any neighborhood pets or wild animals that would let him, likely has some childhood scars from this because nothing was un-pattable to him. He’s a lot more careful and smart about it nowadays, but he would still pet a moose if given the safe chance. For the experience.

Had very little reactions to death in general growing up, since he was forced to repress his mourning for his parents he ended up being a bit apathetic about it to cope. So, as much as she loved animals and would never hurt one; he loved dead animals just as much. Ended up seeing beauty in death. 

...DEFINITELY LIKES TAXIDERMY NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. Took a few taxidermy classes, everything he stuffed was too mortifyingly bad to keep, except for a coiled snake he has kept throughout the years.

Probably went to a few funerals of his sister’s friends/coworkers and...enjoyed them, he was basically the only one not crying, just smiling behind his mask. As he got older he would hang around graveyards alone and write his thoughts, about whatever, in a little notepad--he liked watching stranger’s funerals from afar, too. He especially loves the feeling of graveyards at nighttime, it brings him comfort, making him feel close to the dead.

He’s, ykno, an atheist, but I think after extensively studying different religions and beliefs he has a fondness for them all, being a BIT spiritual himself and taking bits and pieces of religious beliefs in a different light for himself. Such as customs on eating, views on life/death, karma, etc. He’s not theistic by any means, but he likes the structure and meaning that psuedo-faith gives him.

His favorite color fluctuates between gold and red. :)) He likes the rich background of royalty in both of the colors; the irreplaceable shininess of gold and the gorey hue of red.

HE! LOVES! HIKING!!!!!! Whoever he’s travelling with is forced to hike the nearest large hill or small mountain with him wherever they are, this man is so lanky and beyond skinny but he loves to climb, his calves are SO TONED it’s UNREAL.

When they reach the top of the mountain, he refuses to take any photos, he loves to live as much in the moment as possible and has a near picture-perfect memory, he may lightly sketch out in a notepad whatever he sees when they reach their destination--but he doesn’t like digital pictures and would prefer his hiking buddy refrain from taking any as well.

Has too much of an attachment to the natural human body to get any tattoos, (still thinks they’re beautiful on other humans, self-expression is human nature afterall) but I do think he’d be a huge fan of piercings for himself--not that he’d even keep them in all the time, but he at least loves the process of it and needles in general.

Likes “feminine” things a lot due to being raised by his sister, and once he finally gets help regarding his trauma, I think he’d be determined to reclaim his makeup and skirts as a part of his own identity; stubbornly refusing to let the memory of his sister taint what he enjoyed so much. Maybe a little bit of non-binary Kiyo propaganda happening here. Who knows! runs away at mach speed

[recurring-polynya]

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I am In Love with Hitori Sasori and she is probably my favourite OC side character of all time. You only spent a few paragraphs fleshing out her character (speaking of, I LOVE your writing: it takes you less words than most professional authors to write a female that actually passes the Bechtel test lol) but that little bit was enough to get me evil laughing (have I mentioned I love you’re writing?!). I’m definitely not asking for more content or something, I just wanted you to know I love and appreciate her badassery!

Thank you! I’m so glad you like her! 

I’m always torn, because I hate making OCs, but I want my world to seem very rich and full, so I generally try to make ones that I can re-use. Most of the time when I see people writing Soul Society noble characters, they are very sinister and backstabby and often hate Rukia. a) I am honestly crap at writing intrigues and b) I always feel like most people are far to wrapped up in their own selves to bother being evil, the banality of everyday selfishness is far more interesting to me. I also love the way the upper class are portrayed in Jane Austen’s novels-- people are good and bad, but they are also weird and annoying and obsessed with their hobbies or their fad diets, but they are very much *people.*

Rukia’s been around noble circles for 40 years. People may find her distastefully common, but on the other hand, she’s the sister of the Kuchiki clan head, and so I think they are going to be nice to her, whether they feel it or not. On the other hand, Rukia is quite good at reading people and is not particularly interested in noble hobnobbing, and so I thought it would be in-character for her to have acquired a stable of Weird Lesbians that she hangs out with at parties. All of them are way too into their hobbies, because they’re smart, but under-stimulated. Sasori was actually the first of these delightful ladies that I came up with. It’s extremely funny to me to name-drop characters from the anime filler arcs, so I definitely wanted someone attached to the Kasumiohji clan, the weaponsmakers from the Captain Amagai arc. Sasori is based a little bit on Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh) from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, both in the sense that she’s very embedded in her family business, and because of that sick fight where she keeps breaking weapons on Green Destiny and swaps through about ten extremely different weapons like this is just a regular Tuesday. That just seemed like a really fun person who Rukia would enjoy being friends with, and who would, in turn, admire the freedom and usefulness Rukia enjoys by being a member of the Gotei. The fact that their friend group also includes a horse girl and a woman who writes romance novels is just icing on the cake.

This wasn’t really a deliberate attempt to get my Bechdel check boxes. It’s just that on average, I care about a female characters roughly 10 times as much as male characters, and if there aren’t enough of them around, I will just make some.

You know, while writing this, it occurred to me that Sasori probably knows my other weirdly popular OC, Kuchiki Choei. I cannot decide if they would be failed-to-achieve-expected-family-roles solidarity besties or if Choei is just terrified of Sasori, doubly so, now that she is in Squad 11.

Anyway, thank you for the kind words! I worry constantly about overusing my OCs, so these kinds of reassurances are good for easing that anxiety. She’s a very useful character, especially now that she dual-classes as both a Fancypants Socialite and a Squad 11 Dirtbag, so I am sure you will see her again in the future.

[bleulone]

Can we talk about about how Colin looked in ep 1 when he first saw Marina compared to how he looked when he saw Pen in ep 8. Almost the exact same look! Of course his look to Penelope is probably more about his guilt because he brushed her off when she tried to warn him but still..progress! Lol and then when he's getting ready to leave for Greece, he glanced towards Penelope's home. I think they're having Colin's feelings for her grow gradually in the show instead of all of a sudden like in the books.

Hey! Thank you for this insightful ask of yours :) Sorry for the late answer, I took a long time to write this— without further ado, here we go!

Indeed, Polin is first and foremost a story of gazes, those gazes being of many natures. Whether they are love ones, friendly ones, admirative ones or lustful ones, looking imposes itself to be a huge parameter in Penelope and Colin’s love story.

In order to understand that on screen, film-making has at its disposal a very rich and smart langage of its own. Sometimes, comparision helps to underlines the differences between one character’s relationship with person A mirorring person B. I feel like Shondaland and Chris Van Dussen wanted to introduce the audience to the evolution of our Bridgerton men’s perception of Love. For instance, while Anthony views attachement— to Siena— as a way to escape his responsibilities before becoming his villain (...until our queen ma’am Kate Sheffield comes to the picture), Benedict doesn’t comprehend this universal concept and prefers to enjoy the many physical pleasures life can offer. In other words, the older brothers already explored their sexuality here and there, making them the infamous rakes that they are. As for Colin, it’s a complete other thing.

Colin is young. Very young. At 21, he’s just left Eton College and barely knows anything of the world nor women. Like Anthony said in 1x06, Colin hasn’t been taken to brothels which is a very important step in the building of young men’s sentimental and sexual education during that time period. Since he missed this essential step, our sweet/immature boy has no clue about how to deal sagaciously with his feelings and his “foolish” impulses, baring his naivety. At this point of the story, we can easily come to the conclusion that Colin is a virgin who can’t drive XD. He��s just a child overcame by his passions, a hopelessly romantic who rushes things without taking the time to properly court or know his significant other. And his off-screen flirtation with those supposed numerous girls in London isn’t of any help to justify his (oh so little) experience. So when he sees Marina, he’s so struck by her... mainly by her alluring appearance. And he doesn’t seem to let his eyes nor mind go beyond her exquisite beauty.

In this perspective, the whole Colin/Marina storyline can be perceived as a parallelism to the Pen/Colin’s one. In 1x01, he is immediatley smitten with a dancing Miss Thompson, which happens to be ironically the same case with a 17 year-old Pen but with him. We got to see her, a few moments ago, dreamily looking at him from the back of the dancefloor (echoeing the episode where she fell madly in love with him after he fell off his horse at Hyde Park). She’s charmed by his dashing look and his kindness, yet she doesn’t seem to know anything else about him considering the rare conversations they share. Her burning gaze fits the original story from Julia Quinn’s books because in Romancing Mister Bridgerton, the 28 year-old spinster Penelope do realize later on that Colin is more than a good looking man : he’s a human who possesses a temper and flaws.

Either way, both of our boos are portrayed as hopelessly young people in love who childishly idealize the objects of their affection.

In 1x08, it’s the other way around. It’s Colin who sees Pen first, her who appears to wear the yellow dress’ lookalike from the pilot—what an interesting call back ^^. With his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide open, we can catch sight of the timid spark of a change in his gaze : Colin Bridgerton notices Penelope Featherington. He‘s touched by the realization that she cares about him. It would be rather inappropriate of me to say that Colin is already in love with her. However, in the finale, I do believe that he’s more struck by her high level of deep care for him than her beauty.

We are thus able to spot two big differences in Colin’s relationship with women in this season : when his attraction to Marina was purely physical and rushed, his attraction with Penelope is more emotional and slow. And for now, he comes to cherish his special bond with her, especially after she tried to warn him of the dangerous trap he was about to fall into. Even if he just sees her as his younger sister’s best friend right now, Pen matters in his life. And it’s still a little yet important progress for sure.

Speaking of which, I agree with you that this look of awe as well as realization is mostly mixed up with guilt. Since he didn’t take into account her words, he felt the strong need to apologize. But bear in mind that guilt formulates a considerable part in Colin’s feelings for Pen... and it’s only the very beginning. In the future, he’ll blame himself for not seeing her as the beautiful goddess and siren that she is in the first place. He’ll blame himself for not reciprocating the feelings for her.... Though at the moment, due to his lack of experience with women, Colin is oblivious to Pen’s obvious signs of sorrow when he told her he’s leaving for Greece/Cyprus. Next time, he’ll detect her sadness and won’t let her go, I’m sure of it (if he doesn’t I’ll riot).

Furthermore, I’m so glad you brought up the scene where Colin glances at the Featherington house. I had the same thought as well. When you put this still and the one where Pen is crying while looking at her window side by side, it even seems like they’re looking at each other. In a way, it implicitly confirms Pen’s key role in his final decision... After all, she’s the one who inadvertently inspired him right ?

The act of traveling has always been seen as cathartic since leaving home to discover yourself allows you to heal your broken heart and soul. It’s natural for Colin to do this. To make his first real steps into the world. His choice is quite relatable more than it is essential for his arc in the series. I can’t wait for him to come back all changed, hot ^^ and mature. I think, like you said, they are planning on making him progressively falling in love with her. Colin’s feelings will gradually leave the platonic zone to explore and officially stay in the intimate zone throughout the seasons.

Overall, the Colin/Marina and Colin/Penelope parallel in s1 mostly helps viewers to compare the way Colin evolves from being a stubborn naive boy to a heartbroken young man who’s aware of his crutial need for Experience. His coming of age, just like Pen’s, has just begun. And they will surely lead to our boy changing himself into the true charming rake that he’s meant to be and our girl into a more confident woman. Consequently, I think their story won’t take 10 years but rather at the very least 5 years perhaps to fit the TV timeline. Once Polin will finally be able to discuss, we’ll hopefully get to see more interesting nuances and shades added to the portrait they painted of one another over the years. They’re indispensable to the slow build up of their emotions/attraction as well as the shattering of their childish idealization/perception of each other.

All in all, I’m so loving the fact that season 1 beautifully sets up the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story. This first installment is like an expository scene of a play. It leaves a trail of clues and pieces of information here and there at the reach every viewers who can pick them up and analyze what can be the main themes which will determine one character’s story arc/romance. With Polin we have : admiration, wit, love and friendship, desillusionment. (I know they are more but it’s all I can think of rn lol).

If we’re already emotional messes just with the mere power of them looking at each other, imagine when they’ll actually talk and share real conversations. It’s going to be a long way to canon but luv me some good fluffy angsty steamy slow burn :) ✨ I hope this long of mine answers your ask ahah, even if I talked about many things other than just Polin’s looks. Also, sorry if you spot some grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

[siriuslyblackblog]

Professor 》 Remus Lupin (18+)

《 (4) 》

If it's easier for you to read on Wattpad, tap here! Please don't forget to vote or leave a comment❤

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Rose spent the whole day preparing for the task. Or that's what she was telling her roommates and the twins. In reality, she was thinking about the man. The man who looked so good in that white shirt with his sleeves rolled up. Something nobody knew about her is that she had a wild imagination. Her roommates and twins saw her as a distant but shy person. In reality, she spent many nights touching herself and keeping her mouth shut. But she would rarely bring herself release. There was nobody to fill out those fantasises. Now she finally had someone. Right now, her mind was filled with her professor taking that shirt off and revealing his body. She wondered how skilled his tongue was. She always wanted to feel so much more than just her fingers down there. She wanted to feel his tongue. Oh, how good that would feel. She needed professor Lupin so bad that her clit was aching.

Rose slowly worked her fingers on her clit, driving herself to an orgasm for what seemed like an eternity. She simply couldn't reach it. Her other hand held onto the headboard and her had was thrown back. It felt good, but not good enough. Her clit was now so sensitive that each touch became painful. It wasn't pleasure anymore. It was just pain and frustration. Her body was covered in sweat, her hair was sticking to her face and her mouth was dry. Rose finally moved her fingers from her clit and relaxed her body on the bed, letting out a frustrated huff. She couldn't do it.

Looking out through the window, she noticed that the sun was already setting. Her roommates will be back any minute and she was still laying naked on the bed. She put on her clothes, then picked new ones and headed towards the showers. As the cold water relaxed her tense muscles and washed off her sweat, she started thinking. She caught her roommates pleasuring themselves many times during the night, and they all seemed to reach their orgasm fast. So why couldn't Rose do it? Her fingers slid down to try one more time, but pain took over her body and she immediately pulled them away. That's it for today, she thought.

Casting a spell to dry her hair and dress up, she gathered her books and made her way towards her new favorite classroom. A big sigh fell from her lips and she closed her eyes. She was finally going to be alone with him. But what did she expect? He won't jump on her as soon as he sees her. She wasn't dressed the way he seemed to like. Even though it was only September, the rainy days made most students pull out their jumpers. At least her stomach was hidden under the white shirt and the grey jumper. She decided to wear the robe today too. It was buttoned up so that her legs were hidden too. It was quite cold and she didn't want to play with her health. Not tonight while it was raining and the sky was lighting up every few seconds.

Merlin, she hated thunder. Every time the hallways and her room lit up, she would wince. It was truly beautiful to watch, but her ears were sensitive and she disliked the sounds of it. That's why she begged the twins to leave her out of any pranks that involved fireworks, firecrackers or anything similar that makes loud noises and explodes. After making fun of her and receiving a few shoulder hits, they finally made a promise. Speaking of pranks, the chocolate was now forgotten deep in her drawer. She didn't want that kind of trouble with the new professor. She needed to impress him.

Roseanne entered the classroom with a smile on her face, ready to greet her professor. Her smile faded once she realised nobody was in the classroom. The room lit up once again, making her squeeze the books against her chest as she waited for the loud noise to pass. She sat down in the place where Nancy would usually sit: right in front of him. Like usual, she placed her books in the corner of the desk and took her quill. It was old and barely functioning, but she didn't have money for more. She couldn't tell her parents that she needed it. She just got it. How was she supposed to tell them that Draco Malfoy stole it from her and convinced everyone that she was actually the one to steal from him? The Malfoys and Periculums were already in a complicated... let's all it friendship. They didn't need more drama. Besides, she would still suffer awful words from Mr Malfoy and his son. Although, Narcissa and Dottie grew up together and were almost like sisters, Lucius and Vernon were enemies since day one of schooling. Vernon was just as spoiled as Lucius and the fight about popularity was still active, just with less violence and more words.

Dottie and Vernon were very young when they got married. Dottie came from a rich family and was the perfect fit for Vernon. Her hair was similar to Narcissa's. Her poliosis didn't just make her hair different. She also had different eye colours, making her stunning. That's mostly what made boys approach her when she was younger. She was always showered with presents, but she still kept her humble side. That's what she wanted for her daughter too. Both of them.

Yes, both. There were two. Roseanne and Leta. Leta was the older sister. The daughter they made a mistake with. Vernon spoiled her, showered her with love and presents and Leta grew up to be rude to her mother. Dottie didn't want to let her child drown in the materialistic world and lose herself. She wanted her to learn true values such as friendship and love. Vernon was always against Dottie's mindset and continued to make every Leta's wish come true. When Roseanne was born, the older sister was blinded by jealousy. She hated the younger one, continously hit her when nobody was watching and kept saying mean words to her. Even though the baby couldn't understand her, Leta felt better when she let out all her anger. Roseanne grew up in her mother's shadow and Leta continued to take whatever was given to her. On Leta's eighteenth birthday, Vernon gave her a single present. It was a wand. A special powerful wand and Merlin knew where the man got it. It was gold with a diamond handle, shining and almost blinding even in dimmed rooms. A few days later, it was Rose's birthday. Rose got a big cake, her own big room and a pet, her beautiful barn owl Eris. She also got a single necklace from her mother. It was a silver necklace with an owl pendant. The owl had two rubies instead of normal eyes. Scared that she might lose it, she attached the pendant to her bracelet and hid it under the sleeves.

One night, Rose heard screams and loud thuds. Outside of her window, she could see Leta on her knees, crying her soul out and holding onto Vernon's leg. The black haired man pushed his daughter away, then entered the Manor with an angry look on his face. Dottie stayed behind, wiping off the tears and placing a kiss on Leta's forehead. Then, she pulled out her wand and cast a spell through tears. In a second, Leta was gone. No, she couldn't have killed her. Her body would still be there. The sister simply vanished. Rose never really had a good relationship with her sister, but she often thought about her. Leta was somewhere alone, without a family. Was it her decision to stay away or she couldn't find the way back? Rose also noticed the big change in her parent's behaviour. They became cold and distant. They were very strict with Rose, allowed her to eat just twice a day and with limited amounts of food, which is why she used all the chances she had to eat properly at Hogwarts. Lamb and potatoes were much more appealing than carrots and cauliflower.

Her thoughts were interrupted when something soft touched her leg, making her jump. She pulled out her wand, ready to cast a spell at whatever just touched her. The creature moved towards her and Rose could finally recognise the brown ears. Coco had escaped and followed her to the classroom because she was scared of the thunder. Usually it was Dell who took care of her, but she must've had plans with Fred.

"Coco!" The girl whispered as she tried to get her pet. "Bad girl. What are you doing here?"

The small creature escaped her hands, then started hopping towards the stairs which led to professor Lupin's room. Rose gasped in horror and rushed up the stairs, trying to grab the brown ball of fluff. Coco was faster than her and reached the top immediately. Rose tried the tongue clicking sounds to call her, even pulled out a few leftover treats. But the bunny only looked back at her once, then disappeared inside the room. The door wasn't fully closed. It was opened just enough for the pet to get inside. Rose sighed in defeat, then carefully and quietly climbed up. Professor Lupin still wasn't around and she hoped he wouldn't be until she got her naughty pet out.

The brown haired girl gulped as she finally reached the door. She crawled on the floor, careful not to make any loud noises. She still had the treats in her hand, hoping that the bunny would smell them and get back. Sometimes she just wished she never got it. Coco often liked to sneak into the kitchen and steal vegetables. Once they found her in the fridge, laying on her back and just staring in front of her. She had eaten so much that she couldn't move. Rose could yell as much as she wanted, but Coco got it her way. It was late now. The damage was done. The animal was smarter than you'd think. Never underestimate them.

"Coco, I'm going to leave you here and pretend I don't know you. I'll find a different bunny. A good bunny. Not a bad girl like you."

The words and the treats seemed to have worked because Coco was back at the entrance again. Rose was still on the floor, her hands in front of her as she held the delicious treats for Coco. The bunny was soon in her hands, drowning in the sweet taste and wiggling her ears. Rose finally sighed with relief, then gave her a few pets.

"You're in big trouble, little one," she said with a smile. As much as the pet got on her nerves, she adored it. Rose pushed herself off the ground so that she was kneeling. She was still waiting for the bunny to finish eating so she could hide him under her robes during this class. Just as she was finished and Rose got ready to get up, the door opened. Professor Lupin stood in front of her, his eyebrow raised in amusement.

"May I know what you are doing, Miss Periculum?"

Rose felt her body freeze. She slowly raised her head, her eyes meeting the soft hazel ones. She couldn't move or speak. She could only watch. Her professor wore a white shirt which wasn't properly buttoned up, his hair was a bit wet and his chest was slowly rising and falling. A small smile was on his lips as he watched his student struggle to form a sentence. He looked like a hot mess. He looked incredibly good. She wanted him so bad. She wanted to pull those wet strands of hair, make him sweat and make him want her at every time of the day. She wanted him to be obsessed with her just like she was becoming obsessed with him.

Remus let out a chuckle, then stepped closer towards the girl. He hated that he was enjoying the sight of her on her knees. She looked so small, so innocent and so sweet. He wondered what that bottom lip tasted like. He wanted to make both her lips plump with kisses. He also wondered how beautifully her already red face would look covered in sweat, her hair sticking to it because of certain activities. He just adored how she currently looked on her knees. Clouds of lust hovered over his mind, his sense disappearing somewhere in the back of his head. The man got so close to her now and noticed that her head was in the perfect height as his crotch.

Rose gulped, then brought her bunny closer to her chest. Her legs almost betrayed her when her professor put his hand under her chin, slowly raising her head up and making her stand up. She could feel her skin burning as he kept his hand there. His thumb moved up and gently touched her bottom lip. Merlin, that had to be the softest thing he had ever touched. Rose relaxed into his touch and looked at him completely enchanted. He allowed himself to step even closer, closing the distance between the two of them. His head was only inches away from hers and she closed her eyes, enjoying his warm breath on her lips. If only he would kiss her. If only he would press her against the nearest wall and touched her the way he knew.

"Roseanne Periculum!"

"Rose, we know what you did! Come out, now!"

The voices were loud in the hallways, making her wince and move away. Her eyes had become glossy with lust and she could barely breathe. Remus removed his hand from her face, then moved her hair aside and moved just in time. Elisaveta and Priya entered the room, followed by professor Sprout. The blonde haired girl looked furious. Her hands were squeezed in fists and she was almost flying towards Rose. Priya followed behind, her face similar to Elisaveta's. Rose stumbled backwards, hitting the chest of her professor with her back. If there wasn't two very angry people in front of her, she would be on cloud nine.

Remus stepped in front of his student just in time and held his arm out in front of her so the blonde girl wouldn't do anything. Elisaveta angrily tried to grab Roseanne again, but Remus stood in front of her with his whole body now. The brown haired girl held her bunny against her chest, fear taking over her body. Why was her House Head here and why were the girls angry?

"What seems to be the problem, Pomona?"

The lady pulled the girls back, then stood in front of the professor.

"Miss Periculum did a prank on the girls. Or so I've been told. Is that true, Rose?"

Before she could answer, Remus put his hands in his pockets and looked at the girls. "Roseanne was here for a long time. She couldn't be the one to do it."

"She did it and she knows it."

This time, Priya rushed towards her and almost got her, but was stopped by the professor again. He simply stood in front of Rose, protecting her from their angry grips and stares. Meanwhile, Rose got a clear look on his toned back. She wished she could drag her nails all over them and mark him. That way everyone would know that he was making her feel good and he belonged to her only.

Roseanne, you hopeless, horny virgin.

"That chocolate was your idea. It was the creation of you and those filthy Weasleys!"

"Oh, no."

Remus turned around towards her with a confused look on his face.

"Oh no? What does that mean, Miss Periculum?"

Rose bit her lip and looked at him apologetically. "It is the creation of the Weasleys, professor. But it wasn't meant for them. They took it from my drawer."

"Who was the chocolate for?" Remus asked, even though he knew the answer.

"You, professor."

He looked over at the blonde haired student, then back at his favorite one. She was biting her lip and nervously petting her bunny. Oh, how he wished he could be the one biting that lip. He would gently suck it, then sink his teeth into it just enough to hear her whine and beg for more.

"And what was the chocolate supposed to do to me?"

"Well, I'm not sure about that."

"Not sure?! Fireworks were coming out of my ears, nose, mouth and–"

"That's enough information, Yakusheva."

Remus was lucky that he had his back turned towards them. He let out a chuckle, knowing how the sentence would end. Seeing that Rose was still nervously looking at him, he sent her a wink and gently took the bunny from her.

"Well, Pomona, there's only one way to solve this."

"What is that, Remus?"

"I say detention. From me."

Finally, something good came out of Weasley's pranks. Remus knew what he was doing. As soon as the girls left the class, he say in his chair and placed the bunny on the desk, giving it pets.

"Have a seat, Miss Periculum. It's going to be a long night if you don't start."

"Yes, professor."

The man let out a quiet hum at her words, enjoying the way she called him. He just couldn't wait for the detention. Will she let him touch her? Will she let him show her how good she can feel? Little did he know that Rose had wilder fantasies than that about him. Fantasies about his tongue, his fingers and his...

"The task is on the blackboard. Good luck, Roseanne."

"Thank you, professor."

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

[joachimnapoleon]

"Everything captures the imagination"

Two letters from Caroline Murat, newly-crowned Queen of Naples; the first to her uncle, Cardinal Fesch; the second, to her sister-in-law/friend/rival Hortense de Beauharnais, Queen of Holland. Caroline has only recently arrived in Naples, and is not quite adjusted to her new home yet; her accommodations are dreadful and she already feels forgotten by her friends and family back in Paris; but it's obvious as she gets further into the second letter that she's already beginning to be charmed by what Naples has to offer.

[Both letters are translated from Lettres et documents pour servir à l'histoire de Joachim Murat, Vol 6]

***

Queen Caroline to Cardinal Fesch Naples, 13 October 1808

You must permit me, my dear uncle, to make you some reproaches; you have not yet written me a word since I left you, I do not have your news, or Mama's, it seems that the whole family wants to forget about me. I am still suffering, I have not yet been able to occupy myself with either the arts or antiquities this city contains.

I'm arranging at this moment another apartment than the one in which I'm living; I am lodged in the sky, I have to go up two hundred and sixteen steps to arrive at my place. You see that without going out, I can get a lot of exercise. I do not go up this stairway a single time without thinking how amused you would be at my expense if you could see me.

I cannot sleep, because the arsenal is below my room. In short, my uncle, I am very badly lodged and I'm going to try to parry these inconveniences. My children are doing well, they offer you their respectful homages. The King is always working so much, I hardly see him.

Adieu, my dear uncle, give me your news and that of all the family, because I have none of it here.

Caroline

***

Queen Caroline to Queen Hortense Naples, 16 October 1808

I am angry with you, my dear Hortense; in the more than a month since I left Paris, you haven't written one word to me, I am sensitive to this forgetfulness, I would have never thought that you, who are so good to everyone, would not have been so to me. I've received a letter from Eugène, you see how better cared for one is by new friends than by old ones. Eugène was very charming to me on my passage through Milan, caring, gallant, all that one could desire to find in a kind prince; I told him about what we had agreed upon, he did not evince too much curiosity, he was very fine and he promised me everything. If ever you see him, I'm counting on you to talk to him about this matter.

I am sad here, you can conceive it, my dear Hortense, I am still not lodged, I have no apartment, my room has the air of a furniture storage: hats, jewelry, cows,

... It literally says cows (vaches). I'm assuming Caroline is just being wry. Unless there is a translation for vaches I'm unaware of; if so, somebody please tell me, because so far I’ve found nothing else.

everything is in my midst. My writing desk was broken en route. When I need something, everything has to be turned upside down. It's like I'm still on a trip. M. de Westerholt will tell you all this.

I hope in fifteen or twenty days to be better established in another apartment, then I'll write you in more detail. I'm still not accustomed to the air of this country; it is necessary, when arriving here, to pay a tribute to the climate. I have refused the balls, the fêtes, because of my health, and I've been too ill to go out much.

It's hard to tell how much of the rest of this is Caroline just trying to rub in how beautiful Naples is (she was undoubtedly aware of how generally unimpressed Hortense was with Holland). Regardless, Caroline, like Joachim, definitely falls in love with Naples in short order, especially its scenery and ancient ruins.

I've seen Portici, the park of Capo di Monte which is beautiful, large, and well covered, it dominates Naples, the sea, and the delightful countryside. The most frequented promenade of the city is the beautiful quay of Chiaia, at the end of which is the tomb of Virgil, on the mountain of Pausilipe. The Palace of Naples is built on the edge of the sea, facing Vesuvius, which, in a quarter of an hour, buried Pompeii and Herculaneum. I will see what is left of those two cities with interest. This country is rich in souvenirs and curious objects.

It is here especially that one can say that to the very stones, everything captures the imagination.

Capri has just capitulated. The King has been in Castellamare for several days, he is well and works a lot. My children embrace you tenderly, they speak to me of you often. Achille and Letitia want to write to you. Adieu, my dear Hortense, give me your news and tell me if you've absolutely forgotten me. I embrace you.

And now we embark on a postscript that is roughly as long as the preceding text.

P.S. I haven't written in my hand because I'm angry with you and I've written at least fifteen letters today. It's during my toilette that I dictate, because I must receive the deputations of the provinces. I'm sending you the views of Naples and its environs that I've made right now, I've worked day and night to send them to you. It suffers a little from the haste put into it, because all the royal houses which are charming, appear ugly on the engraving. Caserta, for example, cannot be described, it is more beautiful than anything one can imagine. Versailles is nothing near it. I'm going to give you an idea, there is only a small wing inhabited and in this small body of buildings, there are lodged five thousand people. The chapel is bigger than the Room of the Marshals.

(A massive chamber in the Tuileries Palace, lined with portraits of Napoleon's marshals.)

The Queen's apartment has fifty salons, its library alone is composed of six rooms lined with bookcases, but no books.

It is the promised land here. In the country, one sees festoons of vines attached to the trees, of fat clusters of grapes more beautiful than those the Israelites brought to Moses. The apartment being prepared for me will be superb, not by the beauty of the furniture, but by the manner in which it is situated, I'm making a little drawing that I will send you.

I hope that everything I tell you makes you want to come and visit this country, it is well worth the trouble of taking five hundred leagues to see.

You must be very sad at the Emperor's absence. When he returns, you will be very kind, my dear Hortense, to remind him that he promised me his portrait, that I've made Letitia and Louise hope for it and that we are awaiting it very impatiently.

Best wishes on my part to M. de Lavallette. You see how much I chatter. I hope that you will show the engravings to the people who show you such pretty English engravings, that you will speak of me sometimes and that you will make beautiful plans to come see me.

M. de Ségur has been very kind, he writes to me often. The archchancellor also, but the Queen of Holland not at all. She is not kind, the Queen of Holland. However, I prefer to believe that her letters are lost.

[Autograph in Caroline's hand] I kiss you and I love you.

Caroline

If you have some news of General Excelmans, give it to me, because I am very anxious.

***

[Cross-posted to my Project Murat blog.]

[itsmeevie01]

Bio!Dad Bruce Day 14-Gala (Part 1)

ummm hi? i just wanted to give yall a huge heads up that this IS part one of two, and part two will be added when i have time to go back and finish. both my computer and my phone are acting up, and my tablet has a faulty keyboard. that said, im going to work to get things back on track. 

Two days after Christmas, the manor was buzzing with activity. The Kents had arrived the day before, and now everyone was prepping for the annual Winter Gala. Marinette was standing in her room, hands on her hips, glaring at her father as he tried to convince her that no, Marinette, the gala is not that big of a deal. down the hall, Tim and Damien helped Alfred sort through the myriad of suits and other formal wear that the siblings would be wearing the next night. Jason had left on ‘business’, while Dick was watching over the people brought into finish decorating for the occasion. Once the boys’ clothing had been sorted, Alfred moved on to check on Cass who had been studiously avoiding all activity related to the Gala.

In the Crewe Group Chat

Kim: Mari, when do you get back in town??

Chlo: M, there’s damage control to do, do you want me to wait for you?

Max: Marinette, you may want to check your Instagram. I know that you avoid social media in Gotham but…

Chlo: MARINETTE CHENG-WAYNE

Chlo: Pick up your phone

Chlo: MARI

Alix: Chloe, chill.

Alix: there’s only so much we can do if she’s busy today.

Kim: we need to take care of this somehow though.

Alix: do we have ANY OTHER WAY to contact m?

Adrien: why do I feel like I’m missing something very important?

Max: have you checked the news lately?

Adrien: I only really check AkumaWatch, why?

Max: check international news

Adrien: is… is this what I think it is? (Attached is a screenshot of international gossip. At the top of the page is a picture of two teens in hoodies moving away from an airport. They are dragging suitcases and have their heads down to avoid attention. The boy’s hood is thrown back, and his well-known blue eyes are glaring at the photographer. Above it is the title has Timothy Drake-Wayne finally found love? The second screenshot is from farther down the article where there is a picture of Cassandra Cain-Wayne, Damien Wayne and Marinette hurrying along a sidewalk completely bundled up. The caption reads could this be Tim Drake-Wayne’s mystery girl? Who is she?)

Chlo: YES

Chlo: and its gala day so she’s going to be busy af anyways.

Adrien: What do you mean its Gala day? There’s only one Gala today?

Chlo: Duh. Mari is going.

Chlo: Keep up, Adrikins.

Alix: oh god

Alix: does anyone know how her dress turned out? She had been freaking out about it last I heard, and we all know how much M puts by first impressions.

Adrien: Ok, I’m still really confused? There’s only one Gala today? The Wayne Winter Charity Gala, which is really exclusive and a huge to-do? What Gala is Marinette going to???

Nino: dude

Nino: please

Nino: don’t be oblivious.

Mari: what did I miss?

Chlo: DID YOU SEE THE NEWS?????

Mari: um…yes? Jason has been having a ball with all the press. Why?

Chlo: I thought you were trying to be low key?

Mari: tonight

Chlo: IM SORRY??? WHY AM I ONLY HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW????

Alix: well, it’s a good thing you have so many influential friends who keep ending up at the same Galas as you, Mari

Adrien: ok, I’m still confused

Chlo: your going to the Winter Gala, right?

Adrien: yeah? We go every year. The only entertaining part is the fact that the Wayne kids always fight. Otherwise it’s all snobby rich people.

Chlo: I’m taking offence to that, since Alix and I have also been going for years.

Alix: seconded

Mari: to be fair, you both tend to hide away and prank people

Adrien: wait. That was you two?

Adrien: And Marinette, how do you know that?

Mari: omg

Mari: I give up sdjkgb

Class Group Chat

Lila: guys! My friend reached out to me…

Alya: wait! Which friend? Is it…?

Lila: yes! Its Maralynn! She’s sooooo excited about her family Gala tonight!

Alix: Maralynn?

Lila: ok, you didn’t hear it from me, but that mystery girl? Seen at the airport with THE Tim Wayne? That’s her! They’re actually twins!

Chloe: oh! That means that Alix, Adrien and I will see her tonight! Its so cool that she trusts you not to reveal who she is…. (:

Marinette: lol isn’t Twitter convinced that she’s dating Tim? AWKWARD

Lila: Maralynn told me that it wasn’t worth it to go after the rumors. I’m trying to respect her decision.

Rose: that’s so sweet, Lila! I didn’t know that you knew the Waynes!

Lila: I don’t know ALL of them, just Maralynn! We were at boarding school together in Italy for a few years.

Marinette: OH WOW

Nino: Chloe, Alix, your going to have to tell us what you think of her?

Lila: oh yes! And if you see my boyfriend, send my love!

Chloe:…BOYFRIEND???

Lila: oh? You didn’t know? Tim and I have had a thing for a while

Marinette: oh really? Chloe, you’ll have to pass on that she’s thinking of him tonight!

Lila: I mean… not if you don’t want to! I wouldn’t want to be a bother on GALA night!

Chloe: if I see him, it won’t be a bother at all Lila!

Marinette shook her head and set her phone down as the class chat continued to blow up. As much as she loved Chloe, she knew that the girl was instigating Lila for fun. When everything blew up, Marinette wanted to be able to stand back and watch the fire burn, but not be close enough to get burned. When she turned in her room, the garment bag in the corner caught her eye. Inside, Marinette knew, was a long black dress. When she had run the design past Alfred, the English man had given her an approving nod. Later, she had heard him mentioning to her father that at least one of his myriad of children would be able to dress themselves. The comment had made the teen giggle and she had made sure to put every effort she could into the gown. More than anything, she wanted to make her family proud. A knock on the door drew her attention and she turned to find Cass standing there, her own gown held in its own garment bag.

“get ready? Together?” the noirette lit up at her older sister’s suggestion and she nodded excitedly. The other girl moved into the room and hung the bag in her arms over the wardrobe next to Marinette’s. after she had deposited her shoes, the older teen turned to her sister and smiled.

By the time that Tim came to check on them, both girls had finished their Makeup and were working on hair. The makeup artist that Bruce had hired was packing up her stuff and the hair stylist was partway through Cass’s hair. Marinette turned towards her brother with a smile from where she was standing in front of the hidden dresses. “lend me a hand?” He smirked at the frustration on her face.

“Gladly, Little Bit. Which one is yours?” when the girl nodded to the larger of the two bags, Tim frowned. “how big exactly is your dress?”

“Big enough for me to need help getting it on. Its not that it’s exactly heavy either! Its just…poofy?” he laughed at Marinette’s rush to explain and helped her pull the bag off of the dress. When the dress was no longer hidden, his breath caught. The black dress was stunning. He could see where it moved from black to grey to blue at the bottom, and the long full sleeves followed the same style. Hanging on the hanger behind the dress was a black hoop, and a pair of low heels (as tall as Bruce would allow, actually. He had to remind her ten times that although this was a high society event, she was still 14, and didn’t need to be dressing like she was 20.) sat under the layers of the dress. Where he had been expecting glitter and sparkles, Tim was surprised to find that the satin was free of almost anything that glittered.

“wow” Marinette laughed at his reaction and reached for the hoop.

“I know, right? It took forever, but its totally worth it! And, it’s the designers first attempt at this kind of formal. I think she did a great job.” Tim paused at that.

“LB, hey,” his sister tensed at the abbreviation for her nickname before she turned to him. “who exactly designed your dress?”

“Oh, just a small up and coming designer. You wouldn’t have heard of her.” Cass sniggered from her spot by the vanity and Marinette shot their sister a smile. “ok! Let me get the slip on, and then after the hoop is on top, ill need your help with making sure the skirt fits right.”

Marinette would not be over exaggerating if she said that the red carpet was incredibly chaotic. The only thing she could think of that was more chaotic was perhaps the last time Jagged had held a concert in Paris. After she had made it through the gaggle of reporters and the public (was that Mr. Kent, SUPERMAN, she saw standing in the crowd calling out questions? Dam that man was everywhere.) the teen dropped her purse, that held an extra set of shoes, in her seat. The rest of the family wouldn’t be in for a bit. Her father, Dick, and Damien would all be in the receiving line Alfred would be behind the scenes all night, and Tim was already striking up discussions with business partners. Cass was on the other side of the room, looking stunning in her deep blue dress. When her sister had approached her, through her website, about the dress the teen had squealed at the idea of designing the close-fitting dress for her only sister. A Blonde caught her eye and pulled the noirette out of her thoughts. The familiar girl who was making her way over had abandoned her trademarked blues and yellows in favor of a deep red that matched the garnets littering her jewelry. A few steps behind her was another teen close to Marinette’s age with a pink pixie cut slicked down. The other teen was wearing a suit that had perfect tailoring…actually, that was Marinette’s suit. The girl laughed as Chloe and Alix joined her, the shortest of the three standing in the middle to draw attention to her suit.

As the girls caught up, they scanned the ballroom. On the other side, Tim was starting to look frazzled, while Marinette thought she saw Jason slip in past one of the servers. opposite them, Damien and Dick were starting to mingle while Bruce moved to greet the Kents. As she swept her gaze over the room, Marinette blinked. There, looking straight at her was-

“oh no, its Adrien. Chloe I love you and all, but if that boy causes a scene tonight…” Chloe waved away Alix’s worries.

“I already told him to be on his best behavior. I am personally more interested in when Felix will get here. For all his big talk about transferring to a private school in Paris, I won’t believe it until the brat comes to see me.” The group stifled their laughter at Chloe’s put out response.

“as long as he doesn’t come over asking about everything going on, we should be good.” Marinette nodded at Alix’s statement on Adrien.  

Look for Part 2 soon! if yall have any thoughts, i’d LOVE to hear them, since i have the basic plot down and im fleshing it out now...

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

The Helping Hand

Summary: Y/N Krast Illegitimate Daughter of Tony Stark. Product of an unwanted teen pregnancy. What would Howard Stark be capable of doing to assure his sons future? What will happen when Tony meets our Beautiful, young, genius, rich philanthropist.

Word Count: 3800 approx 

A/n: Big steps today... Hope you enjoy. Also wanted to thank you all we've reached 39 followers. It is very much appreciated thank you for reading. Might post again this this week if not then next week.

Tw: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug use, Drug addiction, Teen Pregnancy. (If there are any I missed please tell me.)

Ch.9

Chapter 10: Civil War pt.2

Ch.11

"Why am I really here mom?" You ask still with your eyes closed. "Why don't you tell me… I know you don't want to go back." She says calmly. You can only sigh. "It's all going to hell, the team. I love them all, but they are tearing each other apart." She chuckles. You open your eyes and just look at her. "Well then why are you here with me instead of stopping them from tearing each other apart?" She teases. You change the subject. She lets you though. "My… dad? Did you love him?" You are not sure if you wanted the answer, but you asked anyway.. "Did I love him… tough question monkey." She contemplates for a while. "He was childish, and not in a cute way, at least not looking back… I used to love that about him." She looks back at you, her eyes connecting with yours. "He changed though… when we found out I was pregnant. We were scared and young… but he cared. More than I'd ever seen him care for anything else."

You can't help but tear up at her memories. Then the anger builds in yourself. "Then why didn't he fight for me?" Your sentence dwindles into a whisper. "Who told you he didn't… or that he hasn't?" Her words shut you up right away. She laughs at your confusion. "I'm assuming you're not telling me who he is?" She nods in agreement "It's not my place to tell you." Then again you ask another question. "Did he love me?" She looks down to you and smiles. "Oh… from the moment he first held you. You made the most peculiar sounds… and your tiny hands would grip our fingers" She sighs. "I wish I had more time with you then. I tried really hard… to stay awake." She clears her throat. "But I couldn't fight anymore… But you have to." You sit up looking at her. "I don't want to leave you alone." She shakes her head. "I'm never alone…" now it's your turn to shake your head. "Living your life vicariously through mine does not count." She laughs. 

"I met Dave and Vivian" she mentions solemnly. You almost choke on your own breath at their mention. "They're here?" She nods enthusiastically. "They'll hear about this… one day you'll talk to them again." You groan. "Tell Dave… tell him that I'm sorry. Viv tell her that I'm taking care of all her sisters… all 5 of them." You chuckle. "Just tell them that I miss them…" She nods holding your hand. "God… you were supposed to make it easier to leave, not harder."

Tony sits at your bedside. "Why aren't you waking up?" He sighs. They've tried virtually everything and time was running out. "You can't leave me… you can't just waltz back into my life and die on me." He pleads with anyone who would listen. "You need to know that I'm your dad… you need to know that I'm your dad." He speaks into your hand. Your eyes wide open now. Having heard everything you instinctively pull your hand away. Soon you realize you can't breathe comfortably. It was an all around traumatic experience, tears soon started falling. Tony's initial shock prevents him from vocalizing your state. It isn't until Wanda walks in that she calls for a doctor. Tony stands in a corner watching you struggle with the doctors.

Soon the tubes are no longer preventing you from vocalizing your thoughts; you take advantage rather quickly. "Leave" is all you can say with your voice hoarse and devoid of any emotion. The only thing giving you away were the tears. "Y/n you need to hear me out…" you interrupt him. "I don't need to do anything… LEAVE." You grit out wincing in pain as the words leave your throat. Soon your vitals begin to increase at any alarming rate. Doctor's burst in again, ushering Tony out and sedating you. As soon as he walks out he is met by everyone's expectant gaze. "What happened?" Steve is the first one to speak up. "She found out… more like I told her right as she was waking up." Tony rubs his temples.

When you wake up someone is in the room you can tell. It's almost like you can feel them, without even opening your eyes you call out her name. "Nat?" You hear her walk towards you. You clear your throat. "He's- he's…" is all that comes out and she nods but doesn't say anything. That's when it all clicks. She wasn't looking at you… she was quiet, you only needed to look at her posture and you knew. You laugh. "You knew… didn't you?" Her eyes widened in surprise giving her away, except that it wasn't just her. "Oh… god you're all liars. You all played me. Im so stupid." Your laugh continues; it was cynical with tears rolling down your cheeks. "You're all hypocrites… You sit on your pedestal and preach trust and honesty…" You don't finish the sentiment. Sitting up and pulling at all the wires attached to your body. She reaches out for your hands but as soon as her hands land on your, you recoil at her touch. "Stay the hell away from me Natasha!"

You walk out the room leaving her behind using the wall to help you walk. You made it out to the waiting room and it just broke your heart even more. Their eyes on you, the pity radiating off them. Pietro can't even meet your gaze, much less Wanda. Steve took a cautious step forward, and when you didn’t step back he continued. As soon as he reached you he embraced you, everything came crashing down. The truth would have never hurt so much, and you still didn't know the whole story. You take this opportunity and ask Steve to take you to your room. He did as you asked the whole way there was silent until you made it to your room and he closed the door. “Y/n I’m so sorry…” you cut him off. “No you aren't.”  you mutter quietly. It takes him by surprise and you take advantage of it. “You need to find him… you need to leave before you don't have the chance to anymore.” He can help but ask why. “Why are you helping me?” You turn to him, your eyes filled with unspoken words. “Because I care for all of you too much to stand by and watch you destroy each other. Leave now!” 

“I need to take Wanda and Pietro.” He states and you nod. “I’ll send Clint for them later.” You can't help but to turn in awe of his statement. “Steve you can’t… you can't do that to his family.” You see the guilt in his eyes. “Tony has the government on his side.” Is all he says before he turns and walks toward the door. “Take care Y/n''. Before you know it you’re alone again with nothing, but your thoughts. Soon enough Vision comes phasing through a wall. “I thought you and Wanda talked about this.” You joke wiping your tears away. “Yes, well I thought you might appreciate the company.” He motions to your bed and you nod. He takes the liberty and sits down. “Y/n, I can't lie and tell you that I know what you feel. I comprehend many things, but emotions are the one thing I can't quite figure out.” He states matter of factly. “You played a crucial part in making me whatever it is I am, but what I'm meant to be is what you would say up in the air.” He mentions moving his hands.

“Vision you’re a highly intelligent being with access to all the knowledge you could ever need. I was a kid… a sick kid. His kid.” You state quietly. “I met my mom.” you speak up again. He looks at you trying to decipher what you meant. Your hands motion to your head. “Vision I think that I’m going crazy.” The words barely a whisper as they leave your mouth. “Y/n there are many things that we can't explain… You said this helped you in Vienna. Maybe it’s best not to question it now.” His eyes search for yours, and you nod. “We’ll be a pair of unexplainable beings.” you laugh lightly. Tony not so graciously bursts in as you're about to say something, Vision stands and nods at your direction, you let him go and Tony walks in. “I know that you're angry, and disappointed, and that you probably hate me… but I don't want you to hate me.” 

“Yes, well you should’ve thought about that before you casually forgot to mention that You were my father for half a year. And that's assuming you just found out Tony. When did you find out?” He’s quiet at your question, which in turn answers your question. “How long did you know… how long did they all know?” You look at him shift in his place trying to regain himself, so you let him. “Not long after Sokovia… And I-i had my suspicions before that actually.” He states standing straight and looking into your eyes for any sign of emotions. “The team didn't find out until you had your first episode.” You could tell that he didn't want you to hate them too… Little did he know that that wasn't an option because you cared for them too much. “Is Maya Hansen my mother?” You ask taking him by surprise. “I-I um yeah she was your mother.” He says scratching at the back of his neck. 

“Right, well I’ll be staying here for the time being. If that's okay with you of course.” Staying gave him hope and you knew that. Now you were lying to him using it as a weakness, all to help Steve. “Yeah, Of Course I can set you up with a more permanent living situation.” He says the excitement dripping in every word. You can only nod. “Hey.” You say as he’s about to walk out. He turns to face you. “She’s okay… and she doesn't hate you.” At first he didn't understand what you meant until he remembered what you said after your first episode. Right as he was about to say something you cut him off. “And for that matter… I don't hate you either.” You state quietly. “I’m hurt… I just need a little time.” He nods the light back in his eyes. “Can you tell the twins that I want to talk to them?” He nods and finally walks out of the room. 

Although your words were true you couldn't help but feel guilty. Lying was something that you were not fond of, but neither Steve nor him will take a step back and think about what's best. If someone didn't step in they would kill each other… and whoever it is that comes out on top will never be the same. You couldn't let that happen so if that meant tearing them apart before they got the chance to kill themselves it’s a sacrifice you were willing to make. Then you heard a faint knock on your door and you knew who it was. “Come in it’s open” You say loud enough for them to hear. They walk in and they are a mess just spewing out words out of their mouths… and Pietro seems to be speed apologizing and you can't help but laugh. “We’re not talking about that right now you two… so you can stop doing that.” You say flatly looking at Pietro whose words were now actually comprehensible. “I’m assuming that neither of you have changed your minds on the accords?” You ask, raising your brows. Pietro nods in agreement, but Wanda's silence and lack of reaction are somehow louder.

“Wanda you want to share with the group?” You say confused giving Pietro a look and he just shrugs. “Wanda, you know that we cant sign those papers right.” Pietro asks. She shakes her head . “I’ve hurt people Pietro, maybe this is for the best.” You scoff. “Everyone in this compound has hurt people… Including me.” You turn to Pietro. “She has day two tops before Steve comes for you.” You say emphasizing the ‘you’ at the end. “I just don't want you to feel like you don't have an option, but Wanda you have no Idea what you're signing up for if you sign the accords” She nods. “That's what I wanted to tell you.” You nod and Pietro gives you a small smile. “Why are you doing this Y/n going against your father.” Hearing her say that sparks something within you guilt, anger, sadness. “Because neither of them are going to win, they are too blind to see that we’ve already lost what we value most... Each other.” Both twins are surprised by your honesty. “I’m just trying to preserve what's left.” She nods. “You signed the accords.” She mentions sadly. You nod, taking her hand in yours. “I don't have superhuman abilities, that can be used for bad.” Now you take Pietro's hand as well. “I will do my best to keep you safe. Tony might be my father, but he’s wrong. Take care of each other.”

“This sounds an awful lot like a goodbye.” Pietro quips sadly, you nod. “That's because it might be for a while. We have to keep this charade going till Clint comes for you both. Vision won't let you go without a fight.” You say. “To our luck we have something on your side.” You say smiling pointing at your chest. “I’m going to miss you both.” You smile and pull them both into a hug. They walk out. It's not long after that you hear steps outside your door but they never come in. So you sleep it off. Days passed and you haven't heard from Steve and you were starting to worry. 

Then you walk into a busy bustling conference center Tony looks stressed. He looks up at you and he seems to take a breath. “Y/n are you okay?” He asks worriedly. “Some pain here and there, but I don't think it’s anything serious.” You state. “Where are you going and would you mind if I came?” You asked, he sets his phone down and gives you a look. “You um… You would like to come with me?” You take a seat next to him. “They captured Barnes and Rogers… along with his ragtag friend Wilson. We’re going to Berlin. Pack a bag we leave in 30.” You nod. “Where's Pepper I haven't seen her around?” He nods. “Well, um we’re taking a break. I told her I would walk away from all of this, but I can’t. This is me, not to say it's her fault it’s not.” You nod and give his hand an assuring squeeze. “She loves you, just let her know you love her too.” You say as you walk away.

The flight to Germany was rough… not only were you still tired from the surgery, but it was tense. Natasha and Tony were walking on eggshells around each other. And it seems that she is keeping her distance from you. You try to relax and sleep a little but much like your flight to New York nightmares plagued your subconscious. When you wake up you don't miss the looks that Tony and Natasha give each other. Then you remembered your mothers words, you closed your eyes again and tried to relax completely just when you were about to give up and you heard her voice. “This is where you use the gift that I gave you a while ago, look for the perfect opportunity.” Then it happens again  "Zhelanie, rzhavyy, Semndtsat', Rassvet, Pech', Devgat', Dobro Serdechny, Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu, Odin', Gruzovoy Vagon." Those words. Followed by “Now is the time.” When you wake up Tony is now sitting next to you holding your hand. He goes to apologize, but you stop him and thank him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

After the plane landing Tony explains that he wants to talk to Steve alone you agree and take a step back. You follow Natasha to an empty surveillance room. “I want to apologize for the way I reacted when I found out.” You say when you sit down. “It was not fair for me to take out all of my anger on you.” You continue and you can tell that you fazed her, she was expecting the worst case scenario with you. So it’s not an understatement when she says that she was speechless. “I understand if you don't want to forgive me, or If you need time…” This is the part you weren't expecting. She lunges towards you and kisses you, her lips on yours and you freeze at the feeling. She pulls away hastily turning her back on you. You don't hesitate this time you pull on her arm back to where she was standing... and kiss her back this time your lips moving in perfect synchrony. It would be an understatement if you said that the kiss was quite literally magical. 

“I’ve been waiting a long time to do that.” You confess your forehead resting on hers. "And why didn't you?" She asks teasingly. "Well I was kind of waiting for that second date. I kinda have a rule." You say chuckling. In this moment you couldn't have been more happy. And there it is again that voice. "Natasha, Something is very wrong." Quite literally mirroring the incident in Vienna. When suddenly sirens are going off all around you. Your eyes meet Natasha's gaze… afraid of her reaction. "You have to tell me how you do that." She quipped making you laugh. Then you see The world renowned Winter Soldier in attack mode. Nat leaves you in the room going to fight the assassin that is endangering your lives. Almost as if it were instinct you hack into the intercom system and repeat the words that were seared into your memories. "Zhelanie, rzhavyy, Semndtsat', Rassvet, Pech', Devgat', Dobro Serdechny, Vozvrashcheniye na rodinu, Odin', Gruzovoy Vagon." You don't even have time to understand how it came out in perfect tongue. "Soldati."

 You watch him loosen his hold on Natasha. The breath you've been holding is finally being let out. You see him mouth the phrase. "Ya gotov otvechat" Suddenly Steve and Sam are there and then the rest is a blur. You feel your eyes roll back and the muffled sounds of steps running frantically. When you wake up her eyes greet you, she was worried you could tell. Your eyes wonder her figure, and then her neck. The marks of his hands taking their toll on her. “Are you okay? What happened back there” She asks. “Sorry…” All you can mumble out your eyes pinned on the marks on her neck. She seemed to notice. She took your face in her hands forcing your eyes to meet hers. “It’s okay I’m okay” Is all she needs to say and you nod, leaning forward, and placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. “I should’ve done something sooner.” Finally taking a look around you don't quite realize where you are. Nat seems to notice. “We’re at the compound… My room.” She mentions shyly. “How long have I been out?” She sighs. “A while, a couple of hours.”  You nod apprehensively. “What happened after I blacked out?” You ask trying to remember what occurred in those hours.   

“Well after your little speech on the intercom… he shut down. Whispered something along the line of ‘Ready to Comply’ then Steve and Sam took him from there.” You nod in relief visibly relaxing. Nat gives you a look. “I know what you’re thinking and it's not like that.” You state standing up. “My head tells me things… my mom tells me things. And I know that sounds fucking cynical but I'm telling you its true.” Nat tenses again her rigid exterior on again. “You said that last time.” She states bluntly. You nod slightly hurt at the fact that she doesn’t believe you. “Last I recall it also saved you last time.” She sighs but ultimately nods. “What side are you on? Because I’m having trouble believing that you are on my side.” She asks cautiously “That's because I didn't take a side Natasha, you knew how I felt about the accords from the beginning.” She’s quiet and you continue. “I’m trying to keep everyone from drowning” you take a deep breath. “I’m a pacifist Nat, and I don't want to fight with you… or anyone for that matter.”

 She nods “Y/n, I have to go, can I trust you to make sure nothing goes wrong here.” You smirk at that. “D’you want me to lie to you?” You can see the amused look in her eyes. “No, we wouldn't want that now would we?” You shake your head in denial. “Well, in that case…” She cuts you off with another kiss. “We’re okay… regardless of what happens outside of that door. We can come back to each other right?” The last part was more a silent plea… to which you happily gave in. “I’ll be waiting for you.” She smiles genuinely and it’s truly a sight to behold, you feel  honored to be the reason that she's smiling. “I’ll see you later then.” She states as she walks out of the room and you nod. As Steve had mentioned Clint showed up later that night. You didn’t have much to do with that by the time you’d made it down stairs. They were long gone. You could almost say the same for Vision, there was something about him now. “Are you okay?” Is the first thing that comes out your mouth. “Do you have reasons to suggest otherwise?” You shake your head. “I take it they left.”

 When you finally left the compound… It felt great. Stepping away for just a minute was just what you needed. Unfortunately for you It wasn't long till you were dragged back in. It couldn’t have been three hours by when there was a knock at your door. The person standing on the other side did surprise you however. Pepper, it was her but something was different… She seemed sad. “Pepper, It’s nice to see you, what do you need?” You say while opening your door and moving to let her pass. “You need to help them…” It's all she says and you understand. “I’m trying Pepper, but they are too stubborn for their own good.” She nods. “How is he?” You take a deep breath. “He’s going stir crazy, but he's otherwise fine.” You state. “He does miss you.” She shifts her gaze, not completely comfortable. “He’s going to need you… I’ve had to do things that will hurt him. It’s going to hurt more when he finds out his daughter was working against him.” Now this made her look back at you, concern in her eyes. “He-he told you?” You nod and squeeze her hand. “I know where they are at...” It’s all that Pepper blurts out.