#i’m so tired also i’m general
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i’m so sick of all the percabeth posting about the show like i was also as excited in the start but now i’m so tired of every post being about the romance
im so tired of only a small minority of posts being not about percabeth like THEYRE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTICALLY LINKED THIS EARLY. IS NO ONE ELSE BOTHERED BY THAT. and also fuck us allos bro i get the aromantics now why is everything about romantic love
#i’m a hater today#i’m sick and tired of love#i’m so tired also i’m general#fuck love all my homies hate love we want silly best friends and familial relationship exploration#percabeth#like i get it guys im also a huge percabeth shipper but please. no more. 🙏🏻#pjo tv show#pjo#pjo series#pjo fandom#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#annabeth chase#aromantic
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did it very fast so I know it’s cringe and yucky etc but I want more first interactions between the Emilys and Aftons in game
#I just really like the concept of confrontations#I also am a sucker for the puppet in general so that has no bearing on this at all nooooo#fnaf#fnaf fandom#fnaf fanart#art#fnaf art#video games#fnaf puppet#charlie Emily#william afton#fnaf william afton#fnaf springtrap#springtrap#puppet#fnaf 3 kinda#five nights at freddy's#fnafblr#sorry for all the tags I’m tired
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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buffy knows spike loves her during season five. buffy knows spike loves her when she comes back and seeks comfort/silence in his presence. and as she comes back to herself and tries to make peace with the fact that she’s Here Again, she still knows he loves her. and i think part of the Big Bad Grabbing The Slayer For The Darkness routine they both cling to is that it allows them to pretend this huge thing isn’t between them so they can get what they both want (someone to stay).
and like obviously buffy cannot allow herself to believe that he loves her for many reasons, but she DOES believe it, she can’t make herself unknow it even though she tries so hard. which is partially where the breakdown with tara in 6.13 comes from because the cognitive dissonance of soulless spike loving her as if he has a soul while she is so lost within herself that the only way she can reach for him is to use him (which would be fine if he was the big bad grabbing the slayer for the darkness) which is hurting him! unfathomably! but he’s supposed to be the corruption! how can he??? any of it???
meanwhile spike has watched the woman he loves be brought back as a shell and he wants to see the light in her eyes and he can touch her now and sometimes that’s enough to make her laugh but he can’t linger in those moments or she’ll go away again! so he can play the role he needs to play so she’ll stay, as if he could keep her anywhere she didn’t want to be. as if he wants her to be in the dark instead of bringing him into the light. but how could he ask for anything more when he already got her back and he didn’t even need to kill her afterwards.
and so they hurt each other and he forgets himself and asks her if she even likes him and it’s too honest and he’s asking too much (he asks for nothing) so before she can throw her life away like it’s nothing, he puts the game face on, makes himself a target, and swallows it all. and she can’t unknow. and it would all be fine except he’s a vampire and she’s the slayer and how can he just say it like it’s nothing when she needs to beat his face in just to keep from screaming.
#there’s so much with the scoobies and dawn having expectations of her that she constantly disappoints#because at least she then has something she thinks she must strive for she has clear lines to fill out#even if she knows she won’t do it successfully#spike takes her as she is and wants to love her as she is and wants her to love herself as she is#and that is unacceptable because there’s too much freedom in that and she’s so tired and so hungry and she thinks she came back wrong#if he can love her (a monster) then he must also be a monster#because if he loves her like a man loves a woman then this is It and she has to figure out how to live with#her own actions and the way she feels#it’s sooooooooooo tragic#like he looks at her and sees the sun and doesn’t want her in the dark!!!! but she’s so cold!!!!!!!!! she doesn’t want to hear that she can#still generate her own heat she just wants to feel the fire#and he can play.#he can pretend.#because he thought he was going to live forever without her.#sorry that episode is just literally fucking crazy buffy summers i love you#btvs#this is not a good post i’m not saying anything. 6.13 is just a crazy episode
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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Can I be real honest and admit how much it saddens me that Instagram doesn’t even let me check if my friends or mutuals liked a post or story without slapping me with “insights” and how good or bad I’m doing regarding my content. I? Don’t care? God forbid I just want to share drawings or funny stories just for the heck of it . why does everything have to be about your account’s performance.
#pix habla#being a people pleaser and struggling with being good enough makes this worse for me#not right now I’m doing so much better really#but it makes me sad to the point of tears this is all that matters#I miss simpler times when it was just about sharing stuff with friends or people who’d enjoy it#I also made the mistake of opening comments on popular posts and it’s all just ? complaints ? people asking for more and complaining when#it doesn’t cater to what they want#I’m really tired 👉👈 idk#it just feels like keeping up with the algorithm ruins art and even just people’s feelings in general#it shouldn’t be about that#Eugh#anyway I can’t even check who likes my stuff it’s just a number now#a number attached to an analysis about performance and account activity#again… that’s so incredibly depressing#but I digress pffft#:’> I’m ok just had to get that off my chest#it’s been bothering me#I see artists I look up to struggling to stay in the algorithm and it shows their art has suffered for it#it kinda hurts to see it yknow#but again. I digress!!!#-sad shimi dance- Shakira Shakira…
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hello vilco nation (all five of you) today i offer two aus for you to rotate in your mind like microwave
phantom of the opera (phantom silco)
hades silco persephone viktor
that’s all goodnight
#five is being generous but fandom culture is coming back the era of the rarepair is upon us#also known as aus where silco wears a nice coat and goes ooooo you miss zaun you miss zaun so bad and are tired of the topside#ooo you want to come back to me so bad#the funniest thing is that i’m a raoul defender but eat up any au where the main ship is put as e/c#i see the allure idk don’t worry about it <3#silco arcane#viktor arcane#vilco
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Choo-choo! We've almost reached the likes goal on the reblog game!
Please be mindful of future likes for this game!
Now then get ready for departure soon! All Aboard!
For this post
Thank you everyone so, so, so, SOOOO MUCH!!! I set an incredibly difficult goal for this honestly, and yet you all helped it be reached!! I appreciate it so much, thank you!!
Unfortunately however, the next part is not finished yet. I was planning to have it finished and ready weeks ago, but I became severely sick and have been unable to finish it to have it ready for this wonderful moment :( I’m so sorry. And I am still pretty bad off, and I’m unsure how much longer it’ll be like this for me.
But!! It was still pretty far along when I had to stop. A lot of it is done. And I have tried to make it up to everyone by making the part extra long. And it is becoming more lighthearted and about comfort now, the next choice to make falls into that ^^
ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU EVERYONE!! It means a lot to me to see that people are actually commenting on the comic and celebrating that it has reached its goal. It means a lot to see that people care!! I am so excited to get the next part out to you guys and to continue on this once again!! ^^ <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
#wayward’s asks#this is also why I have been gone again unfortunately#I talk about my general health below in case you don’t wanna read that#my stomach has turned on me and I’m unable to eat anything without horrific pain#it is like my gastritis from last year but doubled now#not eating has left me exhausted and I am sleeping a lot right now#but unlike last year I cannot afford to lose anymore weight#so it’s been a lot harder this time around#that’s why I’m not around a lot right now anywhere really#I am trying to fix it and make it better but it has steps and it’s taking time#I’m so tired of being tired and nauseous#so thank you for your patience#I really appreciate it#I see my other asks and I’m so sorry i haven’t gotten to the#them#but I wanted to respond to this and not just leave this here#because I do really appreciate everyone’s collective efforts a lot#thank you
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Posting this here as well
Food for thought
#disability tag#chronic illness#disability#disabled#ableism#rant#vent#if these types of posts make you uncomfortable#they should#but instead of shying away from it or ignoring it#please all I ask is that some of you help raise awareness in general#or don’t participate in these trends#idk I’m just#so tired of ableism becoming more and more normalized#and when I see fellow disabled people speak up#they’re either ignored dismissed or berated#please just be nice and do better#tiktok#trends#memes#awareness#EDIT: oomf made such a valid point about how the tooth trend is also incredibly classist#and I couldn’t agree more#thank you beloved moot I appreciate the very important addition /gen
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✨preferences should not be standards for writing advice✨
#whenever i see writing advice i just get annoyed#honestly one of my biggest gripes about writing communities in general is this#constant need to regurgitate certain pieces of writing advice like they’re ambrosia of the gods#my biggest writing advice is to just stop fucking listening to all writing advice that has to do with#prose and style#just stop doing it#read books and find things you like and craft your own style of things#i know this is not simple for everyone but i’m tired of constantly seeing#i think flowery prose bogs things down too much#and i think that direct prose isn’t good enough at putting people in the world#like mate—everyone has preferences and preferences do not make good advice#so like#i wish people would stop acting like their opinion is the next best piece of writing advice#it doesn’t help anyone it just causes fucking insecurities#i am also having sensory overload so perhaps ren doth bitch too much#but you can pry flowery prose and run on sentences and incomprehensible blocks of text from my cold dead hands#bc it makes me happy to write like this and fuck off#ren hot cakes#i’ll delete this later im just cold and annoyed#and unfortunately you can thank my mother bc im extremely passive aggressive
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Dogshit screenshot study attempt but I worked so long on it and I’m mad abt it so u guys have to look at it too >:(
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Proship + adjacent + other Murdoc selfshippers/oc X canon shippers DNI
#i love you just a little too much#MacGyver Murdoc#Murdoc MacGyver#dennis murdoc#MacGyver Murdoc fanart#pls be nice to me when you find out im a selfship blog im too tired to be bothered rn :(#also just be nice in general abt this one ik its ass I’m fully aware. just be so niceys to meee pls ok bye ily/p <3
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Entering depressed dreamty wave era of the month, I’ll excuse myself for being moody, I randomly feel like crying on the floor.
#so uh you know when you realize you have a patern and smell that you’re approaching a period where you’ll feel extremely low ?#that me rn#I’m starting to feel weird and i’m self aware enough to know that mean I’m slowly falling under a wave of negative feelings and that at any#given moment I’ll be having an emotional meltdown#so like I’m feeling a bit sad but I know that soon i’ll feel BIG sad#kinda like seing the water dissapearing on a beach and knowing a tsunami approach#so I’ll excuse myself in advance for being emotionally tired and in general constantly sad#i know i’m very open on this blog about moments where I feel down#but I don’t want to be seen as ‘the girl who can’t shut up about being sad’#i can’t shut up in general#so i do end up not closing my mouth when feeling strong emotion of sadness#also i need a therapist but for personal reasons can’t get one#which sucks#am I trauma dumping here ? definetly#will I’ll probably delete this later out of shame ? surely#that a lot of tags because i don’t feel like saying this out loud on text#I think i’m annoying#most of the time I’m sure that I am#lacking self confidence suck#anyway#dreamty’s ramble#tw vent#vent
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feeling a little weird about this holiday season and i’m not really sure why
#I’m not upset that I’m not with my family. i think I’m just like. idk. i think I’m just sad#in general. like I’m glad I don’t have to be w my family this holiday season bc I. don’t like them#but. idk. I just feel Weird……. and almost apprehensive? idk#but I also keep thinking about how I don’t remember the last time someone got me a thoughtful gift without me asking for it lol#I think the closest I’m getting this year is the puzzle my mom sent me. but even then. I don’t have the space to put it together. so like.#and. thinking abt how the last couple times I’ve done a secret santa exchange I just. never ended up getting *my* gift bc people dropped#out and it never got figured out. and like that’s fine. shit happens. but when it leaves me giving and giving and giving… I get tired#boy I’m so exhausted lately lmao I popped an advil pm and now that I’m winding down I’m just. crying as I sit here w this lol#at least I’m included in the ss at my new job despite being Brand New and. I’m sure I’ll get something fun out of that lol#anyway. that’s my complaining for the night. time to honk shoo#i say things
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I wish I was confident enough to hit up another conversation with you.
-🥦
Then just do that! (It might take a bit for me to respond though… but I’ll try!!!)
#gosh I’m so sorry for the people I’m leaving on read rn ;w;)#.#i-like-talking#..#yk what I should maybe stop talking as much in general#I’m tired ;w;#I love talking#but this is also a lot#why is being a person so hard
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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Protecting my peace and learning to move on. Accepting the things I cannot control and taking it all as lessons. You can’t force people to change, you can’t force people to understand you, you can’t force it to work if the other side isn’t willing to put in the effort because they want to. You can’t force friendships, relationships, people to treat you right. You can’t force anyone or anything. Accepting things as they come and as they go.
If they wanted to, they would.
#also learning to be okay alone and working through some trauma alone#as I’ve noticed it effects everything in my life#I’m to blame for certain things and acknowledging that fact and trying to be better is growth#I’m not the best person by any means but I do wanna be a better one#I’m tired of my trauma that was caused by others to affect me and anyone I come close to#I’ve realized a lot of patterns and that I shouldn’t have to do things to get people to like me#to love me and to want to be around me that’s not healthy or good for me nor is it good for the other people involved#because at the end of the day if someone wants to be around you they would do so#if someone wants to talk to you hit you up be around be a good person to you etc they would do so and if they don’t then they don’t#and accepting that and learning that has been a bit difficult for me life in general has been#I’ve gone through so much in the past few years it’s absolutely exhausting and depending a lot instead of being independent#I have a lot to work on within myself as does everyone#and to the person that (knows I’m directing at him) I’m sorry and I hope we can communicate healthily sometime soon about it all#there’s a lot that needs to be said that wasn’t addressed and I’m sorry for my part#I’m learning and growing and dedicated to positive change I hope one day you see this and understand
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