#i’m so full of love i feel like i could fall over and die happily

[killsaki]

honestly there’s nothing more encouraging to me than when people enjoy my original creations. YES ! i love that i am able to enjoy anime fandom + sexy fics with you guys. i love writing them (obviously. i’ve been doing it three years now) but i just. am so happy people like fuzen. and kiyoshi. and (begrudgingly) katsumi.

[healmydesires]

nasty (j.m)

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

summary: On a hot summer morning, you wake up with Joel’s mouth between your thighs.

genre: smut with a bit of fluff. kinda pure filth… sorry (18+ mdni)

word count: 4,2k

tags/warnings: established relationship, age gap (reader is in her late 20’s, joel is in his early 50’s although it isn’t really mentioned), soft!joel, soft!dom joel, sub!reader, dom/sub dynamic, somnophilia (consented, but it isn’t mentioned), lots of pet names, reader is described as shorter than joel, unprotected sex, piv sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), joel has high key an oral fixation, pleasure!dom joel, doggy, hairpulling, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, size kink, daddy kink, praise kink, creampie, heavy on the breeding kink, joel has a big dick.

a/n: the title is inspired by ariana grande’s song nasty. also in my brain this is in the same universe as “forever in your eyes”. this is truly… a huge fantasy of mine so, this is another super self indulgent piece. I hope you enjoy! <3

pls joel miller… one chance 🥺 [begs]

ao3

The sun is bright and warm on a summer morning, light slipping through the partially open blinds, warming up the bedroom. Your body slowly wakes up from its slumber, a moan falling from your lips as you register the feel of a wet tongue lapping at your slit.

Your cheeks heat up as you realise the position you’re in. You’re on your tummy, your hips are slightly tilted upwards as Joel’s tongue licks your pussy from behind like a man starved. You whimper loudly as your pussy clenches around nothing as you feel him circle the tip of his tongue around your tight wet hole. You still feel a bit sore from last night’s activities. As Joel was making you cum on his tongue for hours before he even made love to you.

“Ah, Joel!” You mewl pathetically.

“Good morning baby girl.” He groans against your heat.

You grip the bed sheets between your fingers as you slowly rut your hips against his mouth. Your core is beyond soaked, dripping underneath you onto his mouth and sheets. You were truly desperate and full of want, you needed some more relief.

“You’re dripping for me kitten,” Joel grunts as he slowly moves his fingers to your wetness, tracing your slit slowly with admiration as you try to buck your hips against his face and fingers, begging for more. “So needy for me.”

Your eyes slide shut and you whine, as he leans down to wrap his lips around your button at the same time he pushes two of his thick fingers inside your pussy.

A broken moan spills from your lips as he moves his fingers and tongue simultaneously.

This is heaven. You could literally die happily right now.

His tongue, moving slowly against your clit, as his fingers continue to fuck inside you. The wet squelching sounds makes Joel moan into your clit, causing vibrations that make your body tremble and shake. He curls his fingers against your most sensitive spot inside you, making you grind your hips against him once again.

Your walls hug every surface and ridge of his thick fingers, the sensation making your toes curl. Joel’s mouth lavishes your pussy with his tongue while he moans every now and then against you. Your hips continue to move against his face, picking up your pace gradually. Your head reels with pleasure once his tongue presses down on your needy aching clit.

“F-fuck, J-Joel, I’m so so so close. Pleeeaaaase.” You whimper begging for more.

Joel sucks at your clit while he curls his fingers into you. He eventually sucks harder on your clit, still occasionally swirling his tongue around your little button while moving his fingers inside you faster.

You’re a mess of his name, you chant Joel’s name over and over again. Eyes are squeezing shut to the point of tears, overwhelmed as he continues to pleasure you in one of the best ways he can.

You let out a moan more akin to a scream as he scissors his fingers inside your pussy at the same time he sucks your clit into his mouth. With the second hard suck on your throbbing clit, you cum with a loud moan. You feel your vision turning white as your whole body writhes beneath him.

He laps at your release happily, licking your pussy lips slowly until you’re whining from the overstimulation.

“I’ll never get tired of how sweet you taste baby,” he groans against you. “I could eat this little pussy for days.” You feel him press soft kisses to your trembling thighs, his beard tickling your skin.

“Please Joel… I need you.” You whine desperately.

“What do you need sweetheart?” He says as he presses another kiss to your skin.

“Fuck me, please. I need you to fuck me.” You wiggle your hips impatiently.

“Anythin’ for you princess.” He chuckles as he grips your hips to flip you over but you quickly swat his hands away with a whine. “Sweetheart?”

“I wanna try something else this morning…”

Every damn day, you’ve been begging for him to fuck you from behind. And every time he would find excuses not to do so. He keeps telling you that he doesn’t want to hurt you. You know how big his cock is, you’re more than aware of that. But you simply don’t care, you want him to fuck you in the most filthy way possible. To stretch your tiny hole, filling you up so deliciously. You’ve been dreaming of him fucking you from behind for so long, you need it so much.

“Baby, we talked about this. You need to be patient.” Joel whispers as he caresses your hips in a soothing manner.

“Joel… I’ve been patient.”

“Sweetheart—”

“I need you. Just, pleaseeee. Please, I need it so bad. I need to be filled with your thick cock. Need you to fuck me from behind so bad. I just crave it so much. I want you to breed this little hole you love so much… Please your kitten needs it so ba—” your begging gets cut off by a high pitched whimper leaving your lips as Joel’s mouth dives back between your thighs.

Licking a long stripe along your slit, coaxing a loud, broken moan out of you. Joel’s hands grip your hips, keeping you in place as he laps at you furiously. You writhe against his lips, whining and pleading for more.

He encircles your clit and sucks, pulling whimpering pleas from your mouth. It’s heavenly addicting, the way Joel’s tongue slips between your folds and dips into you, working you closer and closer to your release within each passing second.

His hands move to your ass, kneading the two cheeks as he lets you grind your hips back against his face. Sweet little noises of ecstasy leave your lips as he continues to lick and suck at your pussy.

You shudder as his lips wrap around your throbbing clit again, sucking lightly. You cry out as you feel yourself get closer to your second high of the morning. You squeeze your eyes shut as you pick up your pace, unable to handle the unbearable pleasure you’re experiencing as the coil in your stomach is about to snap.

You mewl loudly as Joel plunges his tongue inside your pussy. Massaging your inner walls, driving you insane. He sucks and licks with fervour.

“Joel, please, I’m close, fuck fuck fuck,” You stutter out a loud cry.

He increases his pace, tongue thrusting inside your pulsing hole rapidly. Your body’s temperature is rising as you move your hips, fucking his tongue.

“P-please.” You moan, your voice sounding so broken.

“Come for me kitten.” He groans against your pussy before plunging back his tongue inside you, bringing his thumb to your clit applying pressure. You come with a loud whine, your vision turning white and your ears ringing as your whole body racks with such intense pleasure, you almost thought it might make you pass out.

Gasping out his name, you grasp the sheets in your hands at the intense pleasure. Your pussy keeps clenching around his tongue as he continues to pleasure you. Your hips are stuttering until the final waves of aftershock have passed. Gently, he laps at your release until the overstimulation is getting too much.

His hands caress your ass fondly as he pulls his mouth away from your throbbing heat.

“You did so well angel, you’re always so good to me. Such a good girl. I can never get enough of how good you taste.” He murmurs.

You whimper at both the oversensitivity and his words. As you’re trembling and coming down from your high he moves to press wet kisses all the way up towards your neck. Your whimpers, whines and moans don’t stop as he spoils your body with his touch and his affection.

“I love you so much sweet girl.” Joel whispers as he nuzzles his head between your neck and your shoulder.

You feel yourself melting underneath him at his words, touch and kisses, “I love you too.” Joel presses open mouthed kisses against your neck, shoulders and jaw. Leaving you a whimpering mess. You’re wiggling your hips against him, situating his hard length between your ass cheeks. Joel’s hands come to grab your hips with a loud groan.

As you continue to squirm under him, his cock slides against your pussy. The action makes both of you moan and your body trembles with anticipation, hoping he would finally enter you from behind. You feel your inner walls clenching around nothing as you move your hips against his, grinding your wetness against his massive cock, the tip nudging your clit or entrance every now and then.

It turns slick as you keep grinding yourself against him, and he has no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting his cock against your entrance. He groans as he moves his body against yours, leaving you breathless. You feel your pussy pulse and continue to squeeze around nothing, practically begging for his cock.

His body is covering your whole body with his own. Joel nuzzles your neck as he continues to litter your skin with his kisses. You writhe against him, wishing he was just pushing his cock in you already and filling you up in the best way.

Joel reaches down and grasps himself to line up between your lips and slide. He is rubbing the tip firmly over your swollen clit and your mind is all over the place.

“F-fuck, Joel please. I can’t do this anymore, I just need you so bad. My pussy needs you. It needs to be filled with your cock and cum. Please d-daddy. Fill this little hole up, breed this pussy. Daddy please—”

At your words Joel growls, grasps your hips and tilts them more and pushes your legs further apart. He moves to circle his tip around your entrance, pulling more desperate whines from your lips. You’re squirming, wiggling your hips, trying to push back against him but he has such a strong hold on you, making it hard for you to move too much.

“Be a good girl and be patient.” He groans against your ear.

“P-please Daddy—”

A broken gasp leaves your lips as he finally slides the tip inside you. You feel his body moving behind you, sitting up against you, and you know his eyes are on your pussy. He’s watching as your walls spread to begin to wrap around him. You whimper at the new angle as you try to accommodate his girth. He can barely get more of it in your tight walls at first, eventually using more force to open you up for him. It feels like you are being torn open, split in half.

“D-d-daddy…” you stutter and mewl.

“I know baby girl, I know.” Joel moans as he gradually slides more of his thickness inside you and you tremble more underneath him. Your pulsing walls are wrapped tightly around his cock, as your pussy pulls him in more. The pressure of his massive dick deep within your walls overwhelms you while you clutch the sheets below you in tight fists.

“Ah, daddy… you’re so big.” You whimper.

“You take me so well kitten. Doing so good for daddy.” He moans as he leans down to press a soft kiss against your cheek, as he keeps pushing more of his girth in you slowly. You feel so full already and you know he’s barely halfway in.

“So full…”

“I know my sweet girl, I know. You’re doing so well, soon you’ll be filled with all of daddy’s cock.”

The whines and whimpers and moans keep spilling from your lips as Joel continues to push deeper and deeper. Your hands continue to grip the sheets between your fingers as he penetrates your tight walls.

“Please daddy… more. I can take it.” You whine as you squirm underneath him.

He groans at your desperate whines, losing his composure momentarily as he thrusts the rest of his length all the way inside your heat. The head of his cock touching your cervix once he bottoms out. A scream leaves your mouth as you’re trembling underneath him, you try to adjust to his size while your pussy keeps clenching around his cock. You push your head into the pillows as pathetic whimpers keep falling from your lips.

“Fuck, so fuckin’ tight.” Joel hisses.

You moan and squeeze around his cock at his words, leaving him panting above you. Both of his hands move to grab at your ass cheeks, kneading them slowly and gently.

“Please d-daddy. I need more.”

“Fuck, baby girl, you look so beautiful like this, taking me all the way… like the good girl you are.” He can’t control the words that leave his lips as his hips move, quickly pulling himself almost all the way out of your pussy, making you whine at the empty feeling. “Such a needy pussy.” Joel groans before he thrusts himself all the way inside your cunt again.

“Ah ah fuck, daddy… oh my god—” you hiccup as he moves his hips slowly but hard against you. You cry out as he thrusts so deep inside you that it has your body slumping against the bed. Your pussy continues to pulse and squeeze around his thick cock, as it tries to adjust to its girth still.

You moan loudly, arching your back and pressing your ass up against him, and he grabs your asscheeks, keeping the angle perfect as he starts rolling his hips deeply into you. You feel his cock throbbing inside you as you tighten around him. He’s so deep, hitting your cervix repeatedly making your eyes roll back in your head.

“F-fuck baby, you’re so hot like this.” Joel slowly picks up his pace at the sight of you throwing your head back. “You’re all mine, isn’t that right baby girl?”

“Ah, y-yes yes yes, I’m all yours. P-Pleeaaase f-fuuuck, I need m-mo—” you’re begging and you’re unable to finish your sentence as he gives you a particular hard thrust.

You almost feel your arms giving out on you because of the force of his thrusts. Joel’s hands are clawing at the sides of your hips, guiding you with him, and he leans down again to place kisses on your upper back, his kisses travel down your spine, until he leans back up and just looks at you from behind.

Your mind goes blank as all you can do is focus on the feel of him stretching you, filling you up, so overwhelmed with bliss already. He thrusts deeper inside you, earning whines and moans as you continue to cry out his name. You try to tell him, breathlessly, about how good he is making you feel.

The sound of your pleasure fuels his desire to fuck you better, urging him to do more.

Joel picks up his pace, thrusting into you quicker, harder, hitting the spot that has your body going numb.

You claw at the sheets, burying your face into the pillow to muffle your screams. The air is all stuffy around you as his hips move faster, moaning you try to push back your hips against his to take more of his big cock. Your tiny pussy is so full of him, still trying to accommodate his thickness as it pulses and tightens around him. Joel moans at the sight, kneading your ass as he tries to bury himself more inside you, his tip hitting your cervix instantly. Your eyes roll back inside your head once again as you dig your fingers more into the bed, you mewl against the sheets at the overwhelming pleasure he’s giving you.

Hair is sticking at the nape of your neck and back, and Joel leans closer to brush it away but instead he grabs and tugs slightly on it, at the same time he thrusts harder and faster. You whine loudly as the angle makes him hit your sensitive spot inside you. You’re literally going insane, it feels so overwhelming and good.

Your noises become louder and higher pitched as he continues his assault on your pussy, indicating that you’re getting closer as well as the sounds of your pussy that keep meeting his cock over and over again. The sounds mix along with your desperate cries. “Your pussy is so tight and wet around me, begging me to fill you up in other ways… begging for my cum.” He groans as he thrusts harder.

“God, daddy-daddy please. Fuck I—”

You whine as your eyes roll back inside your head.

“What do you want, kitten?” He groans while one of his hands reach around you to slip against your clit making you writhe against him as he applies pressure. The pleasure has the tension tightening in the pit of your stomach, dying for your release.

“Oh, m-my goood… please J-j-d-daddy, h-harder, faster p-p-pleaaseee.” You squeak out in between moans. The wet noises of him easing into you over and over has your cheeks burning, realising just how wet and needy you are for him.

Joel buries his face in the crook of your neck, picking up his pace again, fucking you so fast and hard that you swore you never moaned so loud in your life. Suddenly, everything was becoming too much: the pressure against your clit, his grunts, the sticky, sweaty feeling, his scent, his warmth, the drilling of his cock inside you. Just everything. You try to catch your breath but from how Joel is thrusting inside you and the rubbing against your clit it feels almost impossible to do so.

“I-it feels s-soo— F-fuck, I-I, daddyyyy—”

“Does that feel good, sweet girl?” He asks as he leans down his body closer to yours making him hit your cervix repeatedly. You whimper and tremble underneath him as you nod, he moans against your ear as he whispers close to you. “Does it feel good? That I’m fucking you like this? Just the way you wanted it.”

“Yes! I-it feels sooooo gooood, Joeeel—” you whine as he continues to hit your sensitive spots inside you. Joel’s fingers continue to press down on your little nub making you squirm. The tension continues to build up as the pleasure is becoming too overwhelming.

Joel snaps his hips into you again and again, thrusting deep, causing you to see stars from knowing just how to pleasure you. Feeling like your head is swimming once again, you whine. “I’m sooo so close, p-please…” you beg desperately. You only need one more little push, a little bit more attention to reach your peak.

You are crying out for him, your moans almost sounding like his name, and he moves his head down again and presses kisses down your neck.

“Come for me kitten…” he whispers against your ear.

“Ah—”

His hips never slow down as he massages your clit. And then the coil in your lower tummy snaps, your eyes rolling back into your head while you arch your back as your world dissolves into pure ecstasy. You can’t stop yourself from shaking as you come against him. You almost black out because of the intensity of your orgasm, trembling like crazy. You whimper as the overstimulation is getting to you.

“Daddy wants to fill you up, baby girl.” He groans as his pace is becoming erratic, with less finesse as he charges towards his own finish line. “Going to fuck a my cum into you, kitten. Get you nice and full…”

Your walls pulse and become tighter around him as he continues to hit your cervix. He groans as his movements become more sloppy. Loud mewls leave your lips as he finally spills his seed inside you, coating each inch of you with a warmth that pools deep inside you.

“Ah...” you whimper underneath him as your body continues to shake.

Joel exhales deeply as he feels himself come down from his high. He gently pulls out of your tiny spent hole, making you whimper at the loss and you feel his eyes on you, knowing that he’s watching his seed drool out of you. Your pussy continues to clench repeatedly around nothing and he feels himself harden again at the sight.

You’re still trying to catch your breath as you whine every now and then. He moves off the bed, making his way to the bathroom to get a warm, wet cloth and returns to your legs to clean you carefully. Once he’s done he comes back into bed, wrapping his arms around you instantly.

You feel his face nuzzling in the crook of your neck. You tighten the hold you have around him, holding him close, pressing a soft kiss on the top of his head.

“That was truly amazing Joel… thank you.” You whisper against his hair before you hear him chuckle, his body shaking as he laughs softly.

“Any time baby. You know I’d do anythin’ for ya.” He says before bringing his head towards yours, leaning down once again to capture your lips in a soft kiss.

“I love you.” You whisper as you pull away to look at him tenderly while your fingers trace his face, his beard fondly.

“I love you too, sweetheart. So much.” He whispers back as he leans down to kiss your lips. The kiss is like velvet against yours, and there’s no hurry when he tilts his head a millimetre to fit against you better. His lips are so soft, swollen from all the kisses you’ve shared. His mouth moves, delicate and slow. He kisses you like he has all the time in the world.

His mouth moves slowly from your lips to the rest of your face, littering your skin full with them. “You did so well for me, such a good girl for me,” he whispers as he places soft kisses against your temples. Your cheeks burn at his sweet words. He leans down to capture your lips in another kiss. Kissing each other languidly for a while before you feel him trace your thighs with his fingers. You pull away and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“What?” He chuckles, playing coy and tries not to laugh as you shake your head with mock annoyance.

“I know what you are thinking.” You squint your eyes at him suspiciously.

“And what am I thinking?” He asks playfully, staring you down as he tries to stifle a grin.

“Well, I don’t even have to say what you’re thinking, I already feel you getting hard again mister.” You say with a playful smile as you poke his chest. He quickly grabs your hand, bringing it up to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. Butterflies erupt in your stomach at the action.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He whispers against your hand, his eyes glinting with mischief.

“Right… of course you don’t.” You roll your eyes at him playfully.

You yelp as you feel him pinch your ass. “Don’t be a brat.” He grabs your ass in his hands, bringing you closer against him as you whimper, making him chuckle at your reaction. “You know that I’ll always want you.”

Heat rises to your cheeks at his words. “Me too.” You whisper as you bite your lips with a smile.

His eyes twinkle deviously as he squeezes your cheeks in his hands. “I could wear you out even more than I did last night.” Joel says cheekily, winking as a smirk plays on his lips.

“Joel!” You give him a playful push as your cheeks heat up at his words. Joel laughs before wrapping his arms around you, puckering his lips while making kissy noises and littering your face with kisses which makes you giggle and squirm against him. Joel’s grip tightens around you as he continues to kiss you all over your face playfully.

“I know you love it baby girl, don’t try to deny it.” He whispers before leaning his head down to kiss your neck, you squeak and continue to squirm against him.

“What if I say I don’t?” You taunt teasingly, cocking your head to the side.

“Then you’re a terrible liar.” He says looking all smug before his lips nip at your jawline.

Your giggles turn to breathy whimpers the more he kisses and licks your neck. You feel yourself lose easily in his kisses and touches, your body turning to mush instantly.

“I’ve been very nice, very good to you… Maybe you’d love to cum around me again?” He smiles as he looks down at you deviously as you gasp, giving him a playful push again.

“Joel!!” You squeal before he holds your body close to his, swallowing your noises as he kisses you deeply. Both of your laughs turn into breathy moans as you both continue to touch each other.

The morning continues like this, your fingers wandering all over each other, giving each other kisses all over as the pleasure between you two doesn’t stop. The day is filled with love and desire for one another, you will never get tired of loving that man.

He’s your heaven.

[capseycartwright]

you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star

“Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.” 

in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.

ao3 link

Buck was driving himself to Eddie’s before he could really even think about it, the autopilot of his brain engaging and getting him behind the wheel, and on the road to his best friend’s house without needing much thought at all. Eddie was who he needed, in that moment – not Maddie, and her sage advice, not Hen, who’d be clever, and logical about it all. No, he needed Eddie. Eddie, who inexplicably opened the front door in his underwear and a pink shirt. Eddie, who let them sit in silence, a playlist churning out eighties rock for a full twenty-three minutes (Buck checked) before Eddie said anything at all. 

“So,” Eddie set his empty drink down, gesturing to Buck for a second. Buck twisted the cap off before he handed it over, adding to the pile on the coffee table. “What happened? You said that you and Tommy were going to the movies tonight.” 

Buck groaned, the sound loud in the quiet of Eddie’s house. “I was supposed to be,” he slumped back onto the couch. “But then he dumped me.” 

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “He dumped you?”

“He dumped me,” Buck confirmed. “Because I am a deeply unlovable individual who is going to die alone.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I think you might be being dramatic there.”

“I’m not!” Buck protested. “Eddie, everyone I date dumps me – or leaves me. That apparently doesn’t even change when I’m dating a man. It’s not – I thought it would be different, with Tommy.” 

“Because he’s a man?” Eddie’s confusion wasn’t judgemental – no, Eddie never judged him, Buck was sure of that much. It was sincere confusion, his best friend wanting to understand where Buck was coming from.

“Yeah? No? I mean – maybe,” Buck huffed. He wasn’t entirely sure how to articulate himself. “I guess – I guess I just thought that now I know who I am, that I’m like – consciously aware I’m bisexual – it might be different. That maybe it didn’t work out before because there was this part of me that I didn’t know, or understand, and that had affected my relationships because I wasn’t bringing my like, whole self to the table. But if it didn’t work with Tommy, then that’s not why. Right? Then the problem is me.” 

Eddie’s expression softened. “I don’t think the problem is you, Buck.”

“It has to me! I’m the only common denominator here.”

Buck wanted to cry. He wanted to lie down on Eddie’s couch and cry until he had nothing left – and it wasn’t about Tommy, really, because Buck had liked Tommy, but the end of their relationship wasn’t what was making him feel so devastated. It was the idea of Tommy, more than anything else – what Tommy represented. A happily ever after that Buck was falling short of all over again. 

“What did Tommy say, exactly? Maybe – maybe you’re spiralling, and he gave you a good reason that you’re not seeing.” 

“He – I asked him to move in with me.” 

“Buck.”

Eddie sounded long-suffering. Buck had earned that. He knew that much. “I know,” he knew it had been the wrong move. The words were barely out of his mouth, and Buck knew it had been the wrong move – but that was sort of his thing, to cling desperately to relationships that didn’t work because he was so terrified of being alone. “I just – I felt comfortable with him, and the whole Abby thing was weird.”

“Really weird,” Eddie agreed, wincing. 

“But not the kind of weird I couldn’t get past. Right? He came over tonight, and I told him – why be apart when we could be together. Then, he said he couldn’t move in with me, because if he did, I would only break his heart,” Buck sighed. He wouldn’t intend to. That’s what Tommy had said – but who ever planned to break someone’s heart? No one was that cruel. Maybe they were – but Buck wasn’t. He’d never wanted to break anyone’s heart, even if that had been the end result sometimes. 

Eddie was quiet for a second. “Did he say why he thought you’d break his heart?”

Buck’s beer burned his throat as he took another gulp, the sour taste lingering. “He said that he was my first, but he wasn’t my last.” 

read the rest on ao3

[madsnic1119]

Idk I’m having thots need them out (fem reader) I didn’t proof read this💀 aftercare at the end

He bent you over the counter, flipping you skirt up and pushing your panties to the side- too impatient to take them off. You hear him unzip his pants and undo his belt. He comes up behind you, slowly tracing your outer lips. He breaks the seal and slips his finger up to your clit

“OH-“ you say out of surprise not expecting him to press on your clit so suddenly

“I know baby- feels good huh?”

You nod not being able to form words with the pleasure he’s giving you. He presses and circles your clit a few more times. He pulls his fingers back a little to press them into you.

He slowly slips on finger in, all the way to his first knuckle. You clench around his finger- which is much larger than yours.

“Mmm”

“Can feel ya clenching around me love- fuck I can’t wait to fuck you” he grunts out

He pushes his one finger in and out a few times, slowly adding a second. Taking his time to stretch you out. No matter how many times you two have sex he makes sure to stretch you out as to not hurt you

“Please- please just fuck me” you pant “I need it so badly”

“I know bunny, but I need to stretch you out. Can’t hurt you- don’t want to hurt you my love” he says pressing a kiss to the back of your head after

He fingers you for a few more moments. Finally pulling his fingers out. You hear him hum and the sound of his fingers popping out of his mouth

“Fucking delicious love, could die happily eating you”

He pulls his cock from his pants. He presses the tip to your hole. You whimper wanting him to just push it in

“Shshshshhhh I know know baby- fuck” he says slowly pushing into you

You drop your head down to the counter, not having the strength to hold it up on your own

“Fuck bun you’re so tight, fuck will never get used to you pussy” he moans out

He finally bottoms out. Making sure he doesn’t hit your cervix (let’s be honest that probably hurts slamming into it). He pulls out slowly

He builds up a slow but mean full pace

“Mmmm harder- please faster. I need it so badly. Been waiting like a good girl. I promise I’m a good girl”

“I know baby- such a good girl for me” he says starting to go faster like you asked

He grabs your hips and pulls you up to his hips- making you level with him. As he does he starts hitting your G spot

You moan loudly

“Theeeeree it is- I found it” he chuckles out hitting your spot over and over again

“Such a good bunny for me” he groans after

He thrusts in and out of you as hard as he can while making sure to not hurt you. He keeps hitting that spot

His thrusts go sloppy, nearing his orgasm. He bands down- his head right next to yours. He circles your clit

“Ohhhh fuck- fuck fuck fuck fuck- I-nmmmmnahh” you moan out

“I know baby- cum for me. Cover me in your cum bunny please” he begs

He keeps thrusting into you- going faster. You drop your jaw in a silent scream, cumming all over his cock. Closing your eyes and dropping your head back next to his

He oants into your heart- groaning at how good you feel. Useless babbles into your ear. He thrusts two more times frowning loudly finally hitting his orgasm. He pulls out and watches his cum fall out of you, down your thighs

He swipes his fingers in it before it hits your new thigh highs- not wanting to upset you with staining them. He pushes his fingers in your mouth

“Good girl”

He pulls you up gently. Making sure you’re steady. You tuck your head under his chin/ into his chest while wrapping your arms around him. Both of you still panting

“I love you” you whisper

“I love you too” he says kissing the top of your head. He takes you to the bathroom and cleans you up. Helping you change into pjs- doing so for himself after. You both climb into bed, quickly falling asleep

The end. Idk what this is but I was having thoughts and needed them out lmfao. Imma tag this as multiple characters as I never said the name

[babygirl-riley]

I’m sorry

Simon got shot and you don’t know if you can help

I saw this tik tok and now you all get to suffer 🧍🏻‍♀️

“Take me from the dark, from the dark. I ain’t gonna make it myself.”

Warnings: angst, violance, blood, mentions of death, swearing, mentions of smut

Pt. 2

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst list

The groaning, the panting, the moans. Usually they would be good memories, memories that you would have with Simon pinning you against a wall or bed. Intertwining each other, his cock hitting your sponge spot. Those were the moans you loved hearing.

These ones however made your skin crawl. Hurt. Wanting to die. You don’t know what happened. One moment both you and Simon were overlooking a base full of Russians and next you were attacked. Surrounded as you called to Laswell that you were falling back then the deafening shot.

Simon fell, still, no movement. You screamed as you shot out and dragged him to a safe spot. After what felt like hours that you got him up and ran into the trees, he woke up. Gargling. Mumbling. Screaming. Blood spurt in different places. His leg, arm, side, it seem to be everywhere.

You thanked the gods that you found safety. Abandoned cabin, miles and miles away from the base. Hoping they don’t find you both. You broke into the house placing Simon on the old couch. “Stay with me baby.” You cried running around the home stealing rags, sheets, clothes, anything that could cover the blood.

“Y/n…” He couldn’t finish your name.

“Shut up Simon.” You yelled as you ripped open drawers trying to find anything to sew him back up.

ANYTHING! Duck tape, string, fuck GLUE just anything! You ran to him running with arms full of shit. You look up at his mask, his eyes blank. You ripped your helmet off and gloves, tearing the sheet first. You started his leg, tying the top of his thigh to stop the bleeding. He moaned moving his head over.

Your eyebrows kneaded together as you started his arm. You pulled out your knife looking at his vest. You had to, you had to rip his clothes. He would be cold you have to stop the bleeding. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You cried ripping his top part off.

The blood seeping, you pressed on that first. His eyes gazed over towards you looking at you. You didn’t notice that he tried to reach for you. It wouldn’t stop you tried putting more and more on. “I don’t know what to do,” You cried placing a hand on his mouth having him face you. “Tell me what to do! Simon please!” You screamed watching his eyes roll and tears edging to come out.

Simon didn’t know what to do. Everything was on fire but at the same time no pain was there. He was dying he knew of it. Simon begged with his eyes to have you stop. To hold him. He was fucking terrified. He was terrified of leaving you here alone with his dead body. He was afraid of you crying and screaming in agony. He was afraid to have you left alone with their child at home. He was afraid of not growing old with you. He was afraid…

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t know what to do! I…FUCK! Please Simon just stay awake!” He grabbed your hand trying to call you down as you sobbed. Wanting your hand to stay right there, he could feel you, he could feel that heat. Your touch. God he will miss it. He felt his face change about to cry. About to mourn for you. He didn’t want to leave you. You shook your head, slowly and gently ripping his hand off so you could work. He wanted to cry, the loss of your hand was something that just made him so upset.

Hold me y/n. Please just hold me. Need you to hold me. Simon wanted to yell at you to do it. He just wants to feel you one last time, just like how he did the first time he did. Simon wanted to feel your curves, you warmth. That would have him get closer to death happily. Not scared.

“Simon stay the fuck awake!” You yelled. It startled him, he never head you yell at him like that. Only to rookies. Did he try to close his eyes. Maybe. He just wants to be held. He needs you.

Stay awake. Stay awake. Stay awake. Stay awake. That is all he could think. Watching you work on him. Please stay awake Simon. Blood covered his mask and face from you holding it for a moment. Your hands stained with his blood. Covered that silver band. The band that bonded you both now stained in a horrible memory.

Sickness and in health. God he wanted to laugh. You are right here through this “sickness,” watching him die. Fuck there was a lot of blood not in him, he could feel it too. Simon wanted to help, wanted to speak. Ease the tension. But he couldn’t.

He felt himself slipping. “Why won’t it fucking stop! Come on Simon just stay awake!” You snapped your head over making sure he was awake. Alive.

Simon blinked making an indication he was breathing. You couldn’t stop crying yet you couldn’t stop putting pressure on his wound. You need it to stop. You need it to keep staying inside of him. You need him alive.

Your child needs to see him again. To hold him. To make more memories with. You looked back up at him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Simon,” You yelled him jolting a bit. “Stay awake, please don’t.”

Simon looked down at you, sympathy behind them. God you wanted to slap it off cause it’s like he knew he was dying showing you that he loves you. Saying goodbye. “Hold…” He coughed, you could hear the blood in his mouth. “Hold me.”

You shook your head. “Stop that. Stop that right now,” You cried looking back at the wound. “You’ll be fine.”

Simon sighed, he knew he would be doing the same. Wanting to keep the blood down instead of holding you. To keep you alive. It’s just the feeling of his soul leaving. He wanted to feel you as he let himself go. You just were stubborn, refused for him to go. Refusing to come for terms with him dying.

Simon inhaled deeply, there it is. Is this what it felt when a reaper came to grab you? Is this how it felt when his soul was cutting the last strings. He was tired. God he was so tired. Simon watched as your face changed to hope but it could be too late. He can feel himself slipping.

“You’re going to be okay,” You said sobbing once more. “It’s going to be…”

That’s when your voice disappeared, he can see you as you got up running around to finally get your hands on duck tape. You smiled, seemed like you laughed. It’s too late baby. Was all he thought. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. He said to himself. I tried I really tired.

You wrapped the duck tape around him holding the sheet down. You worked on the other wounds, placing other pieces in them holding them down with duck tape. You wiped your arm from the sweat and tears. You laughed, you got them to stop. You looked at Simon smiling at him, hoping to celebrate with him. Soon it dropped. Everything.

“Simon,” You asked watching his eyes start to close, trying to stay open. “Baby please I got it to stop,” You placed your bloody hand on his cheek, this time he wasn’t grabbing it. Panic ran through your veins. “No nononononono! I got it to stop!”

You shook him a bit with no movement, his eyes rolling close. “I’m sorry no! Please! It’s not too late baby! Please please! Simon stay with me! I can’t loose you!”

You shook him once more looking around for more wounds. There were no other ones. Maybe you didn’t weren’t attentive to the other wounds? You sobbed as you looked around his body. “Please Simon,” You begged looking back at him, he was pale, lose of blood can do that. “Simon I’m sorry! Please. I am so sorry! I…Oh my god no.”

Your mind went blank as you leaned back on your legs. He can’t be gone. Not him please. He has to come home in no body bag. Warm not cold. Holding you. Holding him. Holding your child. You thought of ways of telling your child how daddy’s isn’t coming home. How it is just mommy and him. No daddy. You shook your head. This was the last assignment. Last loose end of their career.

You were suppose to grow old together. Have grandchildren. Have more children even. Grow old without the fucking SAS career. You gasped as you looked around you are alone. He isn’t here. He is gone. You cried and cried begging. Apologizing. This is your fault. It should have been you. Not him. Your veins went cold seeing his body still.

Just check. He could be alive, just slowly breathing. Barely alive. You sat up slowly, shakily placed your fingers against his pulse. “Please baby please.”

[bardy-boy]

Who Is Who Within The Mystery Gang and Bad Kids Mash Up?

Disclaimer: none of these mash ups are identical. These are just the closer comparisons that I believe to be correct. And yes, for an even number I had to include Scrappy. I love the person that I paired with Scrappy so there’s no hate to that character. Also, I realize that the intrepid hero’s have many characters. I chose the bad kids because they are the most like the mystery gang, not because I don’t like other seasons. I love other seasons. Now hear me out, gang.

Fred is Riz. This probably has to do with the autistic boy swag I get from both of them. They both are so passionate about mystery solving and charismatic, although not always great with people. Though neither of them are natural born leaders they manage to keep the group with a focus on mystery because these dudes really truly love mystery. They’re passionate and cute and terrible at reading social cues. While neither of them are necessarily prone to romance, they are filled with love. Their friends are one of the most important things in their life and they have a complete dedication to them.

Daphne is Fabian. Both of these two come from a rich and privileged life style. They’re not super accustomed to norms and can sometimes struggle with understanding their privilege. That being said, they are protective, caring, and willing to learn. Both of their love languages is gift giving which is great coming from someone with such amazing fashion sense. They can be easy to over look, but in reality they are so kick ass. Either of them could easily kill a man and look hot while doing it. They are more than just looks and money, they are fiercely loyal and insanely active!

Velma is Adaine. This is something we can all agree on. They’re the smarts, yes, but they’re also soft and nervous. Each have a need to be perfect, to strive for the best. And as nice as they are, you do not want to get on their bad side. There is a deep buried rage in there. They both love their friends, but also enjoy time to be alone and recuperate. With all the chaos of a big group it’s okay to need moments to calm yourself. This is very different from loneliness which (I think) both have a deep fear of. Without these group members, the rest of the group would fall way off track. Sometimes taking your time and slowly solving the puzzle is the best move. Velma and Adaine already know that.

Shaggy is Gorgug. This lanky loser can fit so much love inside of them. They are both very low key and chill on the outside. Neither of them are great at expressing their feelings (albeit in different ways) but they know just how to comfort someone when they are down. Maybe neither of them are the brightest in the bunch, probably because all that metal music they listen to at full volume blew out some brain cells. Also, each of these dudes are so awkward when it comes to romance, but that never stops them from trying. These dudes are a glue in the friendship. You just can’t find anyone who dislikes them.

Scooby is Kristen. I know this one is weird, but hear me out. This clumsy idiot would die (and in both cases (if you know where to look) has died) for their friends. Each one is always down for a joke and uses humor to cope with bad situation. And, out of the group, talks the most about food. Even though both of these characters don’t come from great situations (in the majority of Scooby media, Scooby was a misunderstood stray before the gang) they go through life happily and with love. They choose worship as a form of love (food vs a deity) and are both attracted to dogs. THE lovable goofball.

Scrappy is Fig. I know this is going to be controversial, especially since I hate Scrappy and love Fig, but when I’m right I’m right. The sheer amount of confidence and chaos displayed within these characters make no sense, but you love to see it. They get the rest of the gang in so much trouble. As naïveté as both of these guys are they do it to protect their friends (and show off a little bit). Although there has been a change of writing for the mystery gang, the original group loved and was dedicated to scrappy no matter what. Yes, they make mistakes but both of them look up too and honor their friends so much. They love a good joke and to encourage others to put themselves out there. Maybe they aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but fuck everyone else. Those who like you are the only people you should care about. Also they both love the word fuck.

[litlunacy]

So I’ve been contemplating Nilofynn’s fey patron again, still trying to get a feel for her. I’d wanted someone a little flighty, maybe a little silly, but also still a typical petty, possessive sorta fey creature. But I figured I’d do a little lore digging to see if there was a canon Archfey that I could use instead of making one up because I’m lazy like that. And uh…I got more than I bargained for. (Ramble-y thoughts ahead, including evil!AU thoughts. Yay!)

I never wanted his patron to be evil, so I was looking into the Seelie Court. And then I thought, wait, wouldn’t it be interesting if his patron was actually Titania, the Seelie Queen? Cuz like, you’d have to be either mad or super sure of yourself to go making a pact with a Bhaalspawn, right? An unpredictable murder machine? But then I thought, why the hell would she want one, especially with Bhaal’s Chosen, made from his own essence?

Well, obviously she offered up the contract while Bhaal was still dead. Duh. Tried to get in there while Bhaal had minimal influence, maybe turn Fynn to the light.

Like, she sees this young man full of so much life and with so much love to give and his affinity for nature and then wham the Urges take over and he murders his adoptive family. He’s broken. So she steps in and is like, ‘hey, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. I can help, you know. I have power. I can use that to help, to keep you calm, to keep you grounded, keep you you.’ Of course it doesn’t always work, and it never works when he falls in love, they always die, but he just can’t stop falling anyway, and Titania is there in the aftermath, giving comfort, consoling him and trying to figure out a way to help him. But she’s not as much of a match for the dead god of murder as she thought, and then Bhaal returns, and it’s worse, it’s so much worse, and Fynn gets darker and becomes the Chosen and she thinks she’s lost him. But then he falls in love with Gortash, and it’s a terrible decision, really, but it’s him, it’s that boy full of love she’s been trying to protect. She has hope.

And then he gets his brain whacked apart and tadpoled, and he forgets it all. Even her. But it’s an opportunity. He’s not the Chosen now, Bhall isn’t whispering directly in his ear, he doesn’t know the terrible things he’s done, the thing his father turned him into. She gets a do-over. She can save him this time. Which is why she refuses to answer any questions about his past. He thinks she’s stringing him along, but she’s really trying to steer him the right way, protect him from his past. And between her belief in him, and the rest of the gang’s belief in him, especially Astarion and Halsin, it works. He does resist his Urges, he does defy Bhaal, he does get his happily ever after with the men he loves and their gaggle of critters and orphans and vampire spawn horde. And it feels like the best pact she’s ever made.

But in my lore digging, I also read about the Raven Queen. Which, the raven has very much been Fynn’s symbol to me since the beginning. He’s mutliclassed into ranger and has a raven familiar. And the Raven Queen’s domain is in the Shadowfell, and she collects memories of loss and tragedy. What’s more tragic than a man forced to kill every person he’s ever loved? So what if she had gotten her claws on him first that day he murdered his family? What if she was constantly whispering even more darkness in his ear? Well, then he’d be a hexblade warlock for one thing, and also he’d end up getting the Slayer form and telling Shadowheart to kill the Nightsong. He’d return to his place as the Chosen of Bhaal. He’d let Astarion ascend. And Halsin would be stuck watching them both feed into the worst of each other, descending further and further into darkness while he can’t do a thing about it. But he can’t kill them either, because he loves them too much and once again blames himself for it all. A big old tragedy all around.

IDK if I’ll do this evil!AU playthrough, but boy am I feeling the vibes. I’d make myself feel terrible the whole while, but it might be fun? I don’t usually do full evil playthroughs in games, but something about this compels me. (Also knowing that it’d just be and AU and in canon they’re all together and happy and being their best selves)

[secretly-a-catamount]

Rowenas If I fall . . .?

Waysa: I’ll be there to catch you.

Serafina: *looks at Braeden* What if I fall?

Braeden: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Jess: *watches these two interactions*

Jess, to Essie: And if I fall . . .?

Essie: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

—————————————-

Serafina: Braeden is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?

Jess: Punch them in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Rowena: Tackle him.

Essie: Dump him.

Waysa: Kick him in the shin!

Braeden: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!

—————————————

*The Squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

Serafina: I will not let you down.

Braeden, mustering enthusiasm: Sounds fun.

Waysa: No, I'm not.

Jess: Please god, I am so tired.

Essie: Do I have to be?

Rowena: I’m the villain.

———————————————

*The Squad when asked about their earlier confession of love*

Jess: Yeah, you're lucky. I like you.

Essie: I'd understand if you didn't feel the same way . . .

Braeden: *has a panic attack* What confession?

Serafina: *winks* I know, babe. You like me too.

Waysa: So what? Are you going to date me or not?

Rowena: It was a dare.

——————————

Jess: Stressed.

Waysa: Depressed.

Rowena: Possessed.

Essie: Obsessed.

Braeden: Impressed.

Serafina: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...What?

Serafina: I just wanted to join in.

————————————-

Jess: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Jess: Violently practices.

Rowena: Violently studies.

Waysa: Violently sleeps.

Waysa: Violently shoots pictures.

Essie: Violently boxes.

Serafina: Violently murders people.

Braeden: Violently worries about the previous statement.

——————————-

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*

Waysa: So what have you been up to recently? Braeden: Leading a revolution with Serafina.

Waysa: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Braeden: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Waysa: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Rowena?

Braeden: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Essie?

Waysa: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Jess?

Braeden: Cult leader.

Waysa: Yeah, that sounds about right.

——————————-

Jess: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Serafina: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back . . .

Braeden: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Waysa: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Essie: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Rowena: Mental stability, my old friend!

Jess: Goodness, could you guys lighten up a little?

——————————-

Serafina, to the Squad: I’d die for you.

Jess: Then perish.

Rowena: You will.

Waysa: Please don’t.

Essie: Cool.

Braeden: I’d die for you first, Serafina.

[mooooonnnzz]

The Lamp Is Low // Neteyam x gn!reader

💙 You and Neteyam’s relationship headcannons 

the title has no correlation to the story 

had nothing else to call it so i named it after a song i was listening to while making this LMFAO

reader is gender neutral AS ALWAYYSS

neteyam is addicted to readers kisses fr

did not proofread I APOLOGIZE FOR MISTAKES

1k words

ALSO MY REQUESTS R OPEN RN SEND REQUEST (would love to see sum neteyam requests and some for lo’ak AND KIRI TOO NEED MORE KIRI CONTENT)

you kiss neteyam way too much

at least thats what lo’ak says, but how could you not?? 

neteyam had such a kissable face, how could you resist?

neteyam loves it though. 

the feeling of your feathery kisses littering his face made his heart full. he literally begs u for more kisses, like he can’t get enough 

♡ Your soft lips pressed against his forehead then his cheeks. “Be safe, Neteyam.” You placed one last kiss on his lips, a parting gift to take with him as he trains with his father. Neteyam’s tail wagged happily behind him, smiling brightly at you. “One more?” He asked. You shook your head affectionately and kissed his lips once more. “One more and I’ll go.” Neteyam said, closing his eyes and leaning closer to your face. “Neteyam.” You scolded playfully. You couldn’t ignore his request so you did as told, you gave Neteyam the kiss he was practically begging for. You patted his chest with your hand, pushing him away from you. “Okay, now go!” Neteyam stayed rooted in his place, a bashful smile on his face. “One more kiss?” 

my man is always deprived of your kisses he needs ur lips constantly on his face or he dies 

he has told u this once, like he was so fr he was like

♡ “You have to give me another kiss or I die.” He said randomly after you gave him a kiss on his lips. You furrowed your brows in confusion. “You are going to die?” You repeat slowly, watching how Neteyam nods his head vigorously, like if he nodded any slower he was going to be knocked out dead. You weren’t going to give in and give him that kiss. He’s had enough of them, any more you’re sure your lips would fall off. “You don’t have enough time Neteyam, you must go.” You say. Neteyam looks at you then suddenly gasps dramatically, his hand slapping against his chest. “I think I’m dying!” He rasped out, flopping his body against yours. You just stared at him, looking at him unamused. He opened one eye and then the other, huffing out, he whispered. “You are supposed to kiss me to bring me back to life.” You puckered out your lips, eyes narrowing as you pretended to think about what Neteyam just said. “I don’t think I will.” You said. Now this time, Neteyam’s gasp was real. He shot up and he genuinely looked so hurt.  “What? How could y–” You shut him with a kiss. You separated and you pushed him away. “You better not come back!” You say. “I make no promises!” 

you patch neteyam up whenever he comes back injured from whatever he was doing 

he sometimes gets hurt on purpose so he could feel your fingers graze his skin 

lo’ak had witnessed neteyam “accidently trip” on the roots of the trees just so he could have a scraped knee

its actually so embarrassing 

♡ “Bro, you are not fooling anyone.” Lo’ak said, crossing his arms over his chest. Neteyam got up from the floor, brushing the dirt and grime that stuck to his legs. “I’m fooling y/n, though.” 

is he though?? 

♡ “For Ewya’s sake, do you fight with your eyes closed?!” You gently pat down one of Neteyam’s gashes on his back dry. “How do you manage to come home everyday with a new injury?” Dipping your two fingers in the healing paste you cultivated earlier while the boys were out, you delicately glided the ointment along Neteyam’s wounds. His ears flickered, a hiss left his lips. “That hurts!” He said through clenched teeth. “Oh, so now you are complaining about the pain?” 

okay at first, he did fool you but after a few times of him coming back with a bleeding leg or arm, you figured he was doing it on purpose 

whenever Neteyam has a rough day or has been chewed out by his dad, he always comes to you to be at peace

you tend to rebraid his hair while adding more beads to his collection

he has said that it helps calm him down 

you also message his head he absolutely LOVES IT

♡ Your fingers intricately worked with each strand of Neteyam’s hair. Crossing the strands over each other, you woven each strand into a braid. Digging your fingers into the bowl full of beads, you plucked a few out, ornamenting each braid with a bead of their own. “How have you been?” You ask, fingers gliding down his newly done braid. A satisfied smile was pulled onto your lips, fingers rolling the stray bead that you had found on the grassy floor. “The best I can be.” Neteyam vaguely responded. You knew he wasn’t telling you the truth, he wasn’t the best at lying. You dropped the bead back into the bowl with a sigh. Throughout the whole time you have been braiding his hair, Neteyam has been cold and quiet. Only uttering a few words to you when needed. A stark contrast from how he usually acts. You threaded your fingers through his hair. “How was the hunt with your father?” You watch as Neteyam’s body physically tenses at the mention of his hunt. “Nothing out of the ordinary.” He lies straight through his teeth, his fingers anxiously wrapping themselves around the grass. “Neteyam.” You sternly said. You got up and moved around him, sitting right in front of him. “I know when you lie.” You tell him, narrowing your eyes at him. He shrinks under your intimidating gaze, his tail flicking nervously behind him. Neteyam sighed out and finally allowed himself to open himself up. He began to explain how his father blew up on him during a hunt, how he yelled at him for not getting his aim right after various corrections from his father. After he ended his rant, you offered him a piece of your advice and what you thought about the situation. You helped him regulate his emotions and calm down. Neteyam had visibly relaxed and his mood perked up after you and him talked about it. He laid his head down on your lap. Wordlessly, you tangled your fingers in his hair and pressed the tips of them on his skull. You slowly messaged his head, fingers skillfully moving from the next point onto the next. Neteyam sighed, closing his eyes. With you by his side, he could overcome anything. 

if you wanna be in my taglist comment or dm me! <3 + my requests are open!

Taglist: @writingsbybirdie @tzurue @lokisblueskin @slaypussypop-21​

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv! I know you're still on a fandom break, but your rec lists are the best and I really need some Harry pov fics—think Away Childish Things, Nice Things, and Here's the Pencil Make it Work all of which which I've already reread too many times in the past six months for me to describe accurately myself as "okay" so if you know of any other similar fics I'd much appreciate it!

Tysm and hope ur having a lovely evening 💜

Hello friend, happy to help! I haven’t read a lot recently so I apologize for not reccing any new fics here. I’m assuming you already know Turn by SG which has an iconic Harry POV, so I have listed other titles with a focus on pining!Harry. I hope you find some exciting new reads here!

Still Life, orphaned (M, 3k)

in a rambling way by @fw00shy (T, 7.5k)

Ron knocked Hermione up, and now Harry's got to figure out how to clone himself so that his friends don't split up fighting over him. Falling for Draco again was never part of the plan.

Clear As Mud by scoradh (M, 9k)

Set post-war and post-Harry's-conscience...

Poppiholla by @moonflower-rose (M, 12k)

Harry had accepted that he would pine silently for Malfoy forever, but one, humid summer might change that.

Take These Lies by @pennygalleon (E, 20k)

There’s a portrait of his godfather in Draco Malfoy’s potions shop and Harry needs to know why. But that’s not why he keeps coming back.

Faint Indirections by ignatiustrout (2019, T, 29k)

Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expects to turn up in Boston, Massachussetts. But now he's here, and he won't stop requesting books from the library where Harry works.

On Your Shore by @xanthippe74 (M, 35k)

Clearing out a remote house full of cursed collectibles in the Outer Hebrides? Not a problem for an experienced curse breaker like Harry Potter. Spending a week with the straight, happily-married man that he’s starting to have feelings for? And sharing a bed with him at night? Surely Harry can handle that, too.

Rush (For A Gap That Exists) by @sleepstxtic-drarry (M, 42k) - F1 AU

A story of love and loss that grew amidst the most infamous rivalry in Formula One history: the story of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (E, 61k)

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

The Beauty of Thestrals and Other Unseen Things by @writcraft (E, 63k)

Harry has terrific friends, an amazing girlfriend and his job as Head Auror enables him to work on challenging cases and Ministry reform. He just wishes he could work out why he’s been so out of sorts.

The Promise of Summer by Omi_Ohmy (M, 66k)

How was Harry supposed to know that coming back for eighth year would be so confusing? Everything is the same, and yet not the same. And nowhere is this more obvious than with Draco Malfoy. Harry finds himself once more watching and following Malfoy, trying to work him out.

Home Truths by @skeptiquewrites, art by @fantalfart (E, 67k)

In the off-season Harry decided to fix up Grimmauld Place and found that Draco Malfoy was the only person who could help him. A demanding career and unrelenting press scrutiny were enough to deal with before Harry added a house with a mind of its own, family history, and a tense, flirty, complicated relationship with his childhood nemesis to the mix.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose and dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

Grounds for Divorce by Tepre (E, 122k)

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

[strawberrychz]

heyy! can i request douma with the reader who's muzan's daughter pls? i can be fluff hahah like just douma being a simp for her or something like that... thank u!!

༄ 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀: 𝖽𝗈𝗎𝗆𝖺 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

༄ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: ... 𝖽𝗈𝗎𝗆𝖺

༄ 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: 𝗂𝗆 𝖺 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝖺𝗌𝗌 𝗌𝗂𝗆𝗉 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗆𝖺𝗇,, 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺y.

- DOUMA

༄ douma has grown so used to being worshipped by others that the idea of idolizing someone else other than muzan was impossible.

༄ it was love at first sight truly. there was just something about you that intrigued him, piqued his curiosity— made him feel something that he’s never felt in his life. it’s been driving him to get your attention since the first second muzan introduced you to the upper and lower moons.

༄ he wasn’t so sure what caught his attention in the first place; was it because you were muzans daughter? maybe you were powerful? or perhaps, you were just pleasing to the eye. regardless, it only motivates him to get to know you more.

༄ however, a certain event truly makes him fall for you, hearts forming in his eyes as his heart beats for the first time in his life. while everyone refused to acknowledge his existence, already avoiding him like the plague once the meeting was over, you greeted him politely and sat by his side, initiating a conversation with him.

༄ no one’s ever done that with him before!! especially not willingly. he gets all emotional when you do stay back to accompany him for a few moments, attentively contributing to the conversation and keeping a kind smile throughout it all. once you excuse yourself, his eyes follow you, a huge part of himself already attached to the attention you’ve given him.

༄ after that fateful moment, he had dedicated a good portion of his time trying to win your attention and love in the most annoying yet adorable ways possible. it’d be a daily occurrence, really. with a low curse, muzan would regret introducing his daughter around the twelve kizukis in the first place, not considering the consequences of his actions.

༄ almost like a lost puppy, he’d follow you around as much as he could, skipping behind you happily with the biggest smile on his face. when you’re both together, he’d often bombard you with endless questions about your life or complain about futile matters regarding other people or events.

༄ most of the time, he’s extremely affectionate, shamelessly clinging onto you without ever considering the fact that your dad could literally kill him at any given moment. hugs over your shoulders, pats on the head, him laying on your lap, holding your hand as you both walk together, leaning on your shoulder, and so on.

༄ though the other upper moons respect you just as much as they do with the king of demons, often bowing whenever they see you and addressing you in the most formal way possible, douma has his own way of respecting you. he talks so casually with you, it often earns him a series of consequences from scoldings to full on injuries from muzan and the rest of the upper moons. he doesn’t mind too much though, knowing that your smiling face will make him feel much better.

༄ whenever he sees you during a meeting, he yells from the top of his lungs to get your attention, waving his hand in a comical manner; “hi (y/n)-chan!! you look stunning as usual!!” muzans eye twitches as he sends a venomous glare his way, though it leaves the second upper moon unfazed as he lets out a playful giggle. you wave at him secretly with a smile and he sighs lovingly, not caring if he was threatened moments before.

༄ super fucking annoying when you’re gone. he’s grown so attached to you that whenever you’re not around, he ends up whining to the other upper moons about anything and everything he can. “(y/n)-chan’s been gone for too lonnng! i’m gonna die if she doesn’t come back soon.”

༄ this earns him a strike from akaza, who yells at him in frustration as he sends an attack his way; “stop addressing muzan-sama’s daughter so casually! have some respect!” when he regenerates, he huffs childishly and folds his arms with a pout, only angering the upper moon three in ways he didn’t know was possible. “whatever, you’re just jealous she likes me more.”

༄ also has a hard time detaching himself from you when you both are together. he can spend days — hell, even eternity — with you without ever having a complaint but when you end your shared time together, he gets all fussy about it. “do you really have to go? you can stay here with me!” he’d try to convince you to stay back, and though sometimes you fall for it, most times you’re required to go. with that, he sighs in defeat and tears up, though it’s alligator tears half the time, looking up at you with puppy eyes; “promise me you’ll come back to visit!”

༄ though muzan often grows impatient and irate by doumas behavior, knowing he could just make his upper moon two vanish with just a single snap, he holds back. in the end, he has no bad intentions towards you and despite his very clingy and childish attitude, you seem to enjoy his company. at least he knows you’re with someone who serves as one of his most trusted demons. douma is also one full of strength, hence his position, so muzan is aware that he’ll be able to protect you.

[pellucid-constellations]

Hiiii!

I read your fic "Voicemails to an Unmanned Inbox" and I wanted to ask you if you could write an alternate ending where it doesn't end happily? Like something happens to the reader? Thank u;)💖

Voicemails to an Unmanned Inbox (alternative ending) 

Summary: This is an alternate ending to this fic, beginning at the voicemails Bucky leaves the reader after a fight. This can be read on its own. 

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: Heavy angst, death

a/n: Dang when you want angst, you want ANGST. This was painful to write, not gonna lie. 

Masterlist

He gave it about 5 minutes of staring blankly at his phone before he called again. And again. And again. Each voicemail he left was more desperate than the last, fear building in his chest with each one. 

“I know callin’ you again probably won’t do anything, but it's worth a shot, right? If you answer, I promise I won’t say anything. You can scream at me for however long you want and I’ll sit here and take it. Come on, sweetheart, you gonna pass up on a deal like that?” 

“Just give me anything to let me know you’re safe. Send me a text? Or whatever those things are called. I know I said not to text because I don’t understand it, but I’ll take anything you’ll give me. Please, baby, you got me beggin’ over here.” 

“Stevie said I should give you some space, and I’m more than willing. Just—I just need to know you’re safe. You can stay as far away from me as you want, sweetheart, but please at least call Nat. Tell her you’re okay. She hates me, so you can guarantee she won’t tell me where you are.”

“Shit, it’s raining. Call me back.” 

“Is this you leaving me? Please, don’t do this. I love you. I’d do anything to take back what I said, just please don’t do this.” 

Eventually, the phone stopped ringing, each call from Bucky immediately met by the answering machine. He found himself missing the shrill, monotone beeps; they meant there was a chance you would pick up. 

“Did your phone just die? God, I hope not. I got Tony tryna track your phone, but no luck. You pull the tracker out or somethin’?” 

“You’re tearin’ my heart out, sweetheart, I’m freaking out without you here. I know I messed up, but I need you. I need you to tell me when I’m wrong and when I’m bein’ stupid like how I was today. I need you to hold my hand and force me to take those meditation classes for my heart health or whatever you said it was for. I need—” he took a breath, tears falling down his face for the first time that night. “I need you here, loving me. Because that’s the only time I feel like Bucky. The only time I feel like me. Please, baby, let me—” 

“The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages at this time, goodbye.” The call ended abruptly. Bucky called back, one last time, but was met with the same message. 

He stared down at his phone and contemplated chucking it at the wall. Was this really it? Had he screwed up so badly that you didn’t want him anymore? Or worse, were you hurt somewhere? Unable to pick up the phone because Bucky had forced you out of the safety of your bedroom. 

Bucky was pulled from his thoughts by a vibration in his hands. Looking down, he almost didn’t believe his phone is ringing, somehow drawn to the conclusion that the stupid thing didn’t work at this point. But the screen clearly read some number he’s never seen before, and the vibrations were strong in his hand. Expecting the worst, he lifted it to his ear.

“Hello?” His voice was hoarse from overuse. 

“Hello, is this James Barnes?” 

“Who’s askin’?'' Bucky responded, already irritated that it wasn’t you on the other end of the call. 

“My name is Doctor Stevenson. I’m calling from the Albany Medical Center Hospital.” It was as if all of the air had been sucked out of the room as Bucky waited for the man to continue. “I’m calling about Ms. Y/l/n?” Bucky stopped breathing. 

“Is she okay?” He was frantic now, running around the room to find his shoes. He didn’t waste time putting them on, opting to carry them as he ran down the hall. 

“Can you confirm that I am speaking to Mr. Barnes? This is sensitive information that I should only be sharing with an emergency contact,” the man probed. 

“Yes! Yes, this is Bucky! I mean this is Mr. Barnes. My birthday is March 10th, 1917.” Bucky was getting angry; his bare feet slammed into the ground of the compound as he rushed to get to you. 

“1917? Let me double check my records one more—” 

“I swear to god if you don’t tell me if my girl’s okay, you’re gonna wish you never told me what hospital you’re at,” Bucky seethed. The doctor stuttered over the phone. 

“I—well I’m afraid I have some bad news.” Bucky stopped then, leaving a dent in the wall by the elevator as his left arm made brutal contact, his momentum impossible to control. 

“What?” He sounded destroyed. 

“Do you need a moment, Mr. Barnes? It may be beneficial to sit down or—” 

“Just tell me. Tell me my girl’s okay,” he begged. There was a long pause on the other end. 

“I’m sorry to inform you that Ms. Y/l/n was in an accident. She was brought to our hospital, but she passed moments after arriving. I am so, terribly sorry Mr. Barnes.” The sound of Bucky’s shoes hitting the ground was lost to his ears, his heartbeat so incredibly loud in his head. 

It was as if his world was tilted. As if the axis that kept him spinning in place was just shot out from under him. You were his axis, and now you were gone, leaving him to spin out relentlessly into a cruel, unkind reality.  

“No,” he choked out, utter disbelief replacing any irritation at the doctor's previous hesitance. “You’re lying—youre—you’ve got the wrong girl, right? Not my y/n. She—she loves me. She chose me.”

His lips were dry and his throat hurt. He felt like he’d been screaming down a void. The pressure that had been building up in his chest the moment you left the room was mercilessly crushing him now. He reached out to pull at his shirt, desperate to relieve the ache. 

“I am very sorry for your loss, Mr. Barnes. Her identity was confirmed by the police upon her admittance. Would you like to come and say goodbye? We can keep her here on the unit if you’d like? Anything to make this easier on you.” Bucky couldn’t take the remorse in the doctor’s tone. 

“No. No, you’re wrong. Because if she’s gone then I can’t tell her—I have to tell her,” he slid down the broken wall, the front of his shirt ripping from how hard he was pulling at his chest. “I need to tell her I love her. I didn’t get to tell her.” 

Bucky didn’t get to hear the doctor’s response, the phone slipping from his hand with a violent sob. His metal fingers left indents in the hardwood floor as he pressed against it, heavy tears streaming down his upturned face. 

He wasn’t sure if he could handle this type of pain. When it was physical, Bucky could pinpoint its location like his body was a map. A broken leg was localized, manageable. But this? This pain consumed his entire being. It hurt so deep that it set into every one of his bones and pulled at his nerves. How could he do this without you? How could he live with the regret of his parting words? 

He couldn’t. He absolutely couldn’t come to terms that this was his reality now. A reality without your soothing words and kind touches. Without the one person who saw him fully and still accepted who he was. Who didn’t ask him to change but instead asked him to embrace every part of him, even the small, angry parts that he hid behind masks and agreeable words. 

Steve found Bucky some time later, huddled on the ground with pieces of drywall surrounding him. He was unresponsive, but Steve could gather what had happened by the look on his face. It took many long moments of coaxing before he could get his best friend standing. 

Bucky wouldn’t go back to therapy, not at first. He knew they would ask about you, and he found himself reluctant to speak your name out loud. After a month of no shows, a small box from his therapist landed in front of his door, your phone inside. Bucky had assumed it was with you when you crashed, lost on the road somewhere or crushed in a ditch. He picked it up and held it to his ear, a voicemail ringing through the speakers. 

“I know callin’ you again probably won’t do anything, but it's worth a shot, right?”

[lesbian-deadpool]

Meeting In Autumn

Modern AU

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 1,626

Warnings: None. It’s so fucking fluffy.

Request: Nope.

Summary: You did not expect your day to go like this when you took your dog for a walk.

Ko-Fi

Commissions

(Not My GIF)

---

Yellow.

Red.

Brown.

And gold.

Various shades of those colours floated around on the frosty autumn day before landing in a crunchy heap on the floor.

And those were the lucky ones.

They had narrowly missed the beast snapping its drool-covered jowls at them. Hoping to ensnare them before their remains were inevitably flung to the ground beside their brethren.

An onlooker, watching on, in sick amusement.

That onlooker being you.

Breathy laughs poured from deep in your chest, eyes secure upon your playing dog, trying to catch the falling leaves. Jumping up high into the sky to reach them before they could get closer to her level, pants sounding through the air, light coughs coming from her as she shook the dead leaves from her jaws.

"Your dog's cute."

Looking over your shoulder at the new presence coming up beside you.

You inhaled deeply at the sight of her, the shade of her auburn hair rivalling the dark red tones of the falling leaves, it shining mutedly under the cold sun. Leather jacket drawn over her shoulders, the attached belt tied around her waist, with her hands in her pockets.

But you were absolutely captivated by her eyes.

The green reminding you of the trees, in this very same park, during the summer. Sparkling like the frost-covered blades of grass under the autumn sun.

"Thanks." You smiled at the beautiful stranger. "She's an idiot."

"Aren't all animals at heart?"

"Well, you got me there."

You then whistled for your dog to come back to you, which she did obediently. Stopping by your feet, butt wiggling with the power of her shaking tail, as she sat looking up at you lovingly.

"She adores you," You threw the woman another smile before looking back down at your pet, scratching behind her pointed ear. "Can I?" she then asked, gesturing to the dog.

"Of course."

You watched as the red-headed stranger crouched before your German Shepard, rubbing her cheeks lovingly while cooing cute little praises to the girl.

That may just have been the most adorable thing you have ever been seen.

"What's her name?"

"Lasher."

She looked up at you then, bare hands still deep within the animal's fur, brows furrowed and a curious look within her eyes.

"Lasher? What a unique name."

"She's adopted. I didn't name her," you explained as you clasped the lead onto her collar.

The woman raised to her feet within an, "Oh."

"Y/N," you told her, offering your hand for her to shake.

"Natasha."

"Well, Natasha," you began, "Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with Lasher and I?"

"I'd love to."

It was when you were walking side by side heading towards the nearest, family-run coffee shop when you offered her the lead. Natasha took it with a bright smile.

"What's this for?"

"I guess I'm just used to it." You shrugged but happily explained when you spotted her confused look. "Whenever I'm walking Lasher with my friends or family, I always let them walk her."

"That's so sweet."

You smiled brightly. "It always makes them happy, so."

And that only further solidified Natasha's point in her mind.

"She's so well behaved," the red-head said next, watching as Lasher obediently walked beside her.

"Well, she's an ex-military dog. She's perfectly trained. She got shot. Nobody expected her to live longer than a year when I adopted her. That was three years ago. She made a full recovery within months."

Natasha could feel her heart swelling from your acts of care and kindness. The fact that you would adopt a dog that everyone thought would die not long after, but still wanted to give her the best life you could, made her swoon, even if she had only met you just five minutes ago.

It wasn't long before you arrived at the coffee shop. Telling Natasha to take a seat under the canopy with Lasher, considering you couldn't take her in with you while you got your drinks.

She had been waiting for only a few minutes, with the dogs head lying upon her lap, looking up at her with adoring eyes, as the red-head brushed her fingers through Lasher's fur. When a woman at a nearby table called over to her.

"Your dog's beautiful."

"Oh, she's not-" Natasha began to wave her off when you walked over, pulling out the chair across from her.

"They're gonna bring our drinks out in a few minutes," you said, sliding a plate of gingerbread cookies between the two of you, waving your hand to them, letting her know she was free to take some if she liked.

"You two are a very cute couple," the same woman as before said.

"Uh, we're no-"

"Thank you," Natasha interrupted, reaching over to grab the hand you had resting on the table. Shooting you a quick wink that the stranger couldn't see, mutedly telling you to play along.

"Yeah," you looked over to her, "Thank you." She nodded, returning her attention to the friends she was sitting with.

You moved your free arm from the table, clearing the space for the teenage buy placing your steaming mugs in front of you and the red-head. And a metal bowl filled with milk on the ground in front of Lasher.

"Thank you," you and Natasha said at the same time, your dog showing her thanks by quickly lapping up the milk.

"I'm glad you didn't try to run off with my dog while I was in there."

Natasha giggled, sprinkling a pink sugar packet into her spiced drink before stirring it.

"Well, she s perfect, so I won't say the thought never crossed my mind."

You laughed this time. Catching the woman looking at you over the cup she held in her hands, blowing softly into her drink before taking a sip out of the corner of your eye. As you prepare your hot drink just the way you like it.

"Good to know I need to watch out for you." You beamed at her, staring into her green eyes. "So, Natasha. What do you do?"

You had spent the whole day with the woman.

Or so, that's what it felt like.

When in reality, it was only around five hours.

But with the November sun setting earlier than you were used to, making time feel almost warped.

The air growing colder, biting at your showing skin.

It was only when a small shiver ran through the red-head, one that she tried to hide, did you take pause in your place on the sidewalk. Quickly remove the scarf that sat around your neck, looping it around itself and tying it so that it would contain more heat. Swiftly removing it, then placing it over Natasha's head, surprising the girl slightly.

Natasha gave you a warm smile as you walked beside her once again, pushing your hand's into your tan borg-lined corduroy jacket.

"Won't you be cold?"

You hummed in question. "No, I'll be fine. I can handle the cold pretty well."

"Thank you," she almost whispered.

"You're very welcome."

Soon enough, you had reached your destination before. A, mostly lit up, suburban house.

"Thanks for walking me home," Natasha said, handing you the lead beak, before bending low to be face to face with your dog, speaking in a sweet voice, "And thank you too, sweet girl."

"It's no problem," you replied, watching as she raised to her full height and looked at you intently, "We wouldn't have done anything else."

Suddenly, the air was filled with small high-pitched whines, directing both of your attention's to the sad dog sitting by your side.

"She's gonna miss you."

Natasha cooed, her heartbreaking for the crying animal, as she reached down to pet her once more. Hoping to soothe her sadness.

"Here." you handed her a small card you had just pulled from your pocket, one with your number on.

"What's this?"

"My number. You can call me and see her anything you want."

"Only Lasher?" she asked a warm half-smile pulling at the corner of her lips, shoulder's dancing side to side.

"Well, maybe me, too."

Natasha smiled, about to rear back and step into her temporary home, when she remembered the garment around her neck.

"Oh!" she called, surprised, reaching to pull it over her head before you stopped her.

"Don't. You keep it for a while. That way we have more of a solid reason to see each other again."

She bit her lip for a moment, her voice coming out softly, taking on a slightly deeper tone, "Thank you for a lovely day."

"And thank you."

"I'll see you around, Y/N."

You gave her a single nod, expecting her to begin walking to the house behind her. But instead were surprised when she grabbed the collar of your warm jacket, pulling you down for a soft, care filled kiss. Pulling back with a small pop, Natasha looked you up and down as you stared at her with slightly parted lips, uttering a single husky "bye", then walked away.

You stayed there, watching her enter her house, then starting to make your own way home. But not before you leaned down, hooking your palm under Lasher's muzzle, rubbing your thumb into her soft fur, speaking to her in a praising tone, "Thank you for being such a good wingman."

Little did you know Natasha had her back pressed up against the metal, blissful smile pulling at her lips. Images of you and the day you had shared together along with your adorable dog, flashing through her mind.

However, she was interrupted soon enough.

By none other than her blonde-haired sister.

"What's up with you, beamy?"

The red-head sighed dreamily, meeting Yelena's eyes.

"I met someone."

---

Permanent Tag List: 

@imnotasuperhero, @veteranwerewolf95, @natasha-danvers, @marvelfansince08love, @higherfurther-romanova, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @sestra-inestro, @thelastavenger-3000, @mixed-fandom-mess, @wannabe-fic-reader, @vancityfire13, @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday, @007giu, @fayhar,

SFW Tag list: 

@peggycarter-steverogers, @natalia-quinzel,

[kairakeiji]

die for you | hanma shuji

pairing: hanma shuji x reader

tags: established relationship, fluff...yeah you’re both running away

word count: 2.0k

for @sakusins - the plot feels like a cop out bc i know your whole love story with him is running away, but i still hope you like it lmaoo happy valentines darling i adore you <33

it’s two twenty two in the morning when hanma’s helping you sneak out of your bedroom window.

you check the clock in the spur of the moment, a bag in your hand full of all your essentials, stuff you deem absolutely necessary to survive. hanma’s got a bag of your stuff slung over his shoulders as his legs swing over the window, a smile on his face and adrenaline coursing through his veins.

despite living in this house all your life, despite sleeping and spending most of your days in this small room, it feels so easy to leave. you take one look back at your bedroom, the stack of books right next to your desk, the pictures of you and your friends hanging on your wall, you’ll come back for them, after all the lock on your window was broken. it had been broken since hanma snuck into your room for the first time, you smile as you recall the moment, scolding him before he peppered your face with kisses and fell asleep in your arms. you two went to extreme lengths just to see each other. with life circumstances, and strict parents you both found yourselves bending over backward just to spare a moment together.

but now it felt as you had all the time in the world.

it was two twenty two in the morning when you closed your bedroom window for the final time and climbed off the roof of your house to run away with hanma.

there wasn’t a single ounce of regret in your system.

“oh my god,” you laugh breathlessly as you both run to your boyfriend’s car hand in hand. “my parents are gonna kill me, they’re gonna kill you and then they’re gonna kill me.”

“i’d like to see them try,” he scoffs, stopping in his tracks and pulling you into his arms. “you’re all mine,” he smiles. “nothing can take you away from me now.” there’s a rush that comes when your lips meet his as you both stand on the driveway of your house, a kiss that reminds you that he loves you and that you love him, that this was the right decision, that this was the choice you wanted to make. you pull away with a smile before he’s crashing his lips into yours again. after months of sneaking in and out of your window, hanma didn’t need to rush, he didn’t need to hide from your parents who clearly despised him. he could love you fully, he could give you all of him.

and he didn’t want to wait another second.

hanma’s going twenty miles over the speed limit when your laughter rings through his car. the windows are down, your hair’s a mess, yet he thinks you look absolutely beautiful. there’s no set destination, neither of you know where you’re going to end up, yet he continues to drive, he’ll drive until you tell him to stop. even if the cops were on his tail, he’ll continue to drive until you tell him otherwise (which would probably happen sooner rather than later knowing you).

“i’m running away,” you laugh to him. “i’m running away.”

“hell yeah you are,” he smiles.

“i’m running away with the love of my life,” you say happily, and hanma’s heart skips a beat at your words.

“no doubts?” he questions, and he hopes you have none.

“not a single one.”

and he smiles. it was the first night you both had together, the start of your new life with him, leaving your old one behind just to be with him. it felt crazy, irrational almost but love made you do things like that. love made you fall for the delinquent everyone told you to stay away from, love made you break your surprisingly complex window lock just so he could stay with you whenever he wanted, love made you skip events just so you could meet up with him. you were young, yet you were so hopelessly in love.

“what do we do now?” you ask, voice soft.

and there’s a smile on his face as he replies.

“anything you want baby.”

“then drive,” you say. “drive as far as you can, let’s get out of here.”

and his grin grows wider when his foot pushes harder on the gas.

it’s three thirty three in the morning when hanma’s stopping in the parking lot of a hotel.

it’s not the nicest place, but it’ll do for tonight. after all, you didn’t have that much money on you, something your forgot to consider when you left home. yet the thought seems to slip your mind when you rest in his arms.

you’re more relaxed, hanma thinks to himself as he pulls you closer to him. his fingers card through your hair as he stares up at the hotel ceiling. this was all he could give you tonight, a small little room and a small bed that barely fit you both. he promised you the world and he was certain he would give it to you. after all, hanma’s always been like that with you. anything you wanted was instantly yours. if anyone was bothering you, he’d take care of it no problem. he’d set the world on fire if you wanted, watching it burn in your arms. he’s always believed that you deserved the world, that you deserved all the stars in the sky, but for now all he can give you is this small hotel room, a place you both can call home for the night.

soon, he thinks, he’ll be able to give you more soon.

it’s nine in the morning the following day when hanma wakes up the next morning.

he’s so used to alarms and waking up at the crack of dawn just so he can sneak out of your bedroom window. but today, he didn’t need to worry about that. today he could sleep for as long as he pleased. you were still asleep in his arms, cheek smooshed against the pillow and he can’t help but smile. you were beautiful, even in moments like this, he thought you were the most beautiful person he laid eyes on.

he recalls the moment when you first met when a guy was causing you trouble outside of your university campus, and hanma, even though he barely knew you, ended up beating him up. he still remembered the look of pure shock on your face. you were his classmate, at least when he decided to go to class, and you knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was often absent. he still remembered your scolding, even when you barely knew him you were still on his ass. yet at the time he did nothing but scoff saying that you should thank him for saving you despite the fact that you claimed you didn’t need saving. but you mumbled a thank you when you surprisingly saw him at school the next day. it was kind of odd how an unpredictable unprecedented chance meeting led to something like this, led to him letting down the walls to his heart just to let you in.

but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

his fingers gently card through your hair before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. there’s a small grin on his face, one he couldn’t wipe off even if he tried, and it only grows wider when a small whine leaves your lips.

“shuji what time is it?”

“good morning baby,” he mumbles.

and your eyes slowly open, smiling when you realize he’s right where you left him last night. there was no text saying he left, no alarm snapping you out of your sleep.

he was still here.

“good morning,” you repeat. “what time is it?”

his eyes turn to the small clock in the corner of the hotel room, “it’s around nine,” he whispers before he pulls you in closer. “but that doesn’t matter, we have all the time in the world.”

“shuji.”

“yes baby?”

“isn’t our checkout time at ten?”

there’s a silence that follows before his eyes widen slightly, “yeah it is.”

“then we should prep to leave right?” you ask.

“we don’t have to,” he tries. “we could stay here forever if you’d like.”

“the owners would kick us out.”

“i’d like to see them try.”

“it’s like you’re asking for a fight shuji,” you mumble rolling your eyes.

“i wouldn’t mind it if you wanted to stay,” he reasons.

“okay then,” you mumble, pulling yourself out of bed. “i’m not letting you kill someone on our first day together. we’re not starting our life together with a homicide.”

hanma’s got his arms around your waist before you can even take two steps away from the bed about to counter your reasoning before your phone rings. there’s a split second of silence between you both before it rings again. your eyes meet his, “who is it?” he asks as you move to grab it.

“my parents,” you answer, declining the call only to see hundreds of texts and missed calls from your family. there’s a slight tremble in your hand as you read through the messages, all the open ended threats, the questions that seemed to not need answers. they knew exactly where they were.

they knew exactly who you were with.

“hey,” he calls out, pulling you away from your phone before you can feel your fears spiral. “i can take you home if you want, we can pretend none of this ever happened and you could go back.” he really hopes he doesn’t have to, but it would be selfish of him to say that out loud. you always came before him, his wants were always second to yours.

but you shake your head, “no, no it’s fine,” you mumble stepping closer to him. “they’ll stop texting in a bit,” you say, cupping his cheeks. “shuji i want to be here, i want to be with you.”

it would be a lie to say that he didn’t feel guilty. it would be a lie to say he didn’t feel any kind of shame from taking you away from your family, from your old life. you gave all of that up to be with him, and in that moment he makes a promise to make all of it worth it.

but he asks again, “are you sure?”

“i’m very sure.”

and with that, his lips meet yours. he’s never been able to love you like this, to love you the way he’s always wished he could. every obstacle seemed to come in his way. but now they’re all gone, and now nothing could come in the way between you and him.

“but baby,” you mumble as you pull away, resting his forehead against yours. “we have to get out of here before the owner kicks us out.”

“okay,” he smiles. “anything for you.”

because it’s true, he really would do anything for you.

who’d have thought that someone like you could have one of tokyo’s most feared men at their beck and call? if you asked any of hanma’s subordinates they would only mention his more sadistic, cruel side. but with you, he seemed the complete opposite.

“so,” he asks as you both get out of bed. “what do you want to do today?”

you shrug, “no clue,” you hum. “maybe find a place to live, so we don’t end up in hotel rooms every night.”

“alright,” he nods. “sounds good to me, i’ll find you the best place that money can buy.”

“shuji we barely have any money.”

“so what?” he counters. “if you want it, i promise it’ll be yours.”

he’ll give you everything, he’ll find the nicest place for you to call your own. he’ll give you the world the second he has the chance because it’s you, the first person who loved him, the first person to happily call him yours, the first person who promised to stay by his side. he’d give you everything because you were the person he loved with his entire being.

thanks for reading!! reblogs are incredibly appreciated <33

[mercy-burning]

Your Favorite — Part 3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: As the summer comes to a close, Spencer and Y/N start feeling a shift in their relationship. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, thigh riding, exhibitionism, oral sex (male receiving), penetrative/unprotected sex, breeding kink, one line of daddy kink,  Word Count: 4.3k exactly, love how that turned out lol

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

NOTE: Thank you all for sticking with me through this long wait, I feel so bad for having to keep putting it off. But I’m very proud of where this ended up, and I’m so glad you’ve all been so excited about it! I had so much fun writing this story, so again, thank you very much for reading and indulging me in this weird fantasy lolol ❤ Love you guys! And, as always, thank you to the lovely Em ( @boldlyvoid ) for being my beta for this series! Your feedback and support has been a big help from the start, ILY

———

AUGUST 12th

"I don't wanna hear a single word, understand?"

Not like I have a choice; As soon as the harsh whisper leaves Spencer's mouth, his hand is covering my own and my back is being pressed up against the wall of the storage closet.

But that's all he does. I wait for him to make a move, but instead he insists on being a tease.

"What? You've been trying to get my attention all night, and now that you have it, you're not gonna do anything with it?"

"I want you to do it for me," I mumble into his hand.

He shoves me harder into the wall and slots his knee in between my legs, spreading them apart and making me sigh.

"You wanted it so bad... So take it..."

Watching the amusement dance through his features as I grind down on his leg and whine into his mouth only excites me more, right next to the knowledge that downstairs the house is congested with people visiting to celebrate my mom's new promotion at work.

Needless to say, it doesn't take me very long to start feeling my stomach tense. My hips are wild as they roll over his leg, whines spewing from my mouth and into his hand. I look up into his eyes, doing my best to show him how much I could never grow tired of this, and he returns the favor by lifting his leg higher and giving me more friction.

In no time at all, I'm shuddering against him, feeling his hand press harder into my mouth to muffle the high-pitched whines that I can't help but expel.

"Nice and quick... Good girl..." Spencer muses, slowly peeling himself away from me. "You're really looking forward to being spoiled later, aren't you..."

The grin that spreads over my face is unwavering. "Definitely. Knowing Mom, she'll be passed out cold in like an hour."

I know I'm the one who brought her up, but it still stings a little when Spencer smiles fondly. "Yeah, she's a lightweight alright... You sure you can handle all this time without me until then?"

Despite the butterflies I get when he says it, mischievous and downright delectable, his hands reach out to grab my waist and pull me closer to him, I roll my eyes. "You underestimate me."

He studies my face for a moment, a pretty smile flashing before me in the dim light before he kisses my cheek. "Sure."

And when he leaves, I wait.

Minutes later, my skin still burns from his touch.

———

The moment my eyes open the next morning, it all comes back in flashes.

His lips are on my skin, travelling lower and lower...

His hands trail all over my body, featherlight in a way that leaves me with goosebumps.

His tongue starts slow, taking its time to taste me and savor every precious second.

His voice is like the sweetest prayer, whispering praises that leave my head dizzy and my heart pounding.

His lips languidly open and close around the most sensitive parts of my body, in tandem with that sweet, magnificent tongue as each action pulls sighs from the very depths of my soul.

His hands reach up and tangle with mine as he makes me come on his tongue, over and over again until I'm practically numb and the lull of sleep drags me under.

His hands now ghost over my bare skin, along my sides and down to my waist. I hum happily and push back against him when I feel it.

He's hard.

"How long before you think she wakes up?" he whispers in my ear.

"Not long... Maybe we... shouldn't risk i—"

The words fall off a cliff, never to be seen again when he slowly enters me, gripping my leg and forcing it over his own. "I'll be quick."

I can tell, though, that he doesn't want to be. It's present in the way he enters me, over and over with motions that feel rather stunted and definitely too rushed.

"Baby, no," I whine, reaching behind me to hold his hips still with one hand. "Fuck me slow... Don't rush..."

"But... Your mom..."

"Please..."

Spencer sighs, though not from exasperation. No, his breath is long and teeming with relief, hands gently roaming over the entirety of my body as his hips move slower. He's taking his time, relishing every second and feeling me gradually get more slick at his undoing.

His lips are on my neck, not providing marks to match the ones hidden on the inside of my thighs and my chest, but merely resting there. He kisses me in between gentle thrusts, letting out small whimpers of his own when I clench tightly around him.

This...

This is different.

We've had slow morning sex before, but never like this. Somehow, I find myself drifting, like I'm being carried away by his current. There's nothing but me, Spencer, and our breathing... Our bodies, our air, our souls...

This is what I imagine making love feels like.

Which is why I barely notice when it slips from my mouth— Three words that should feel more daunting due to the weight they hold and the way they ultimately change everything. And yet, whispering “I love you,” in a nearly breathless string of syllables feels incredibly natural. It’s more sincere than anything I think I’ve ever told him, so much so that I don’t even think about what it will mean in the long-run. Instead I let it fall from my lips again and again without regret or consequence.

He doesn't stop, either. Spencer continues to fuck me softly, like it's all he knows how to do. In fact, my confession only seems to make him relax more.

And that's what finally pushes me over the edge.

His name escapes my mouth in a whisper that sounds more like a plea not to leave, and he holds me closer to him. Our bodies are flush together, my back resting perfectly against his chest as he takes a few final thrusts and empties himself inside of me.

If we stayed like that forever, I could die happy.

And actually, that wouldn't be far from the truth, given that if we did stay here forever, my mom would certainly find us and kill us.

The thought makes me sigh.

"You have to leave..."

"I know..."

Spencer pulls me closer, squeezing me tight and giving me a long, bold kiss on the jaw before he rips himself away and takes my heart with him.

AUGUST 18th

Things are significantly different now.

After the morning I let slip that I love him, Spencer and I had been intimate once. We found ourselves alone while Mom was at the grocery store and instinctually came together.

It was quick, and it was fast and rough, and while it obviously felt good, something was off. But I knew it wasn't a physical problem. Like I said, it felt as good as any other time we'd been together, but it just wasn't right.

I hate it.

It hasn't even been a week since then, and I miss him. I miss our dynamic, and I miss the way I used to feel when he touched me.

So I stalk into the office and lean against the doorframe, watching Spencer as he goes through a large pile of paperwork. His hands and his eyes are moving at near light-speed, and the way he concentrates almost makes me feel bad for my intrusion—Honestly, I could have looked at him all damn day.

But there's a bigger plan in mind.

"What'cha up to?"

He looks up and greets me with a smile. "School starts in a few weeks. I'm just trying to get my coursework prepared."

"Oh... You... mind if I keep you company?"

"Not at all."

It's an innocent enough exchange, though I'm hoping I can change that. Mom doesn't get off work for another few hours, so it gives me ample time to do what I have planned.

I walk over and nudge his leg with my knee, and he lets me in. I climb on his lap, and after giving me a brief kiss on the cheek he returns to going through his paperwork.

My face turns and I nestle it into his neck. He hums softly when I kiss the skin under his jaw, once, and then twice, and then over and over in quick succession.

I can feel him smile. "What are you up to, princess?"

Hearing the nickname return in earnest makes me smile. I nip softly at his neck and run my tongue along it. "Mmm, trouble."

"Sounds like you," he mutters through a sultry sigh once I start going lower, kissing the top of his shoulder.

I slide my hands up the front of his chest and gently undo the top button, giving me access to more skin. "You love it when I make trouble..."

"Hmm, I'm not sure about that."

I slide off his lap then, crouching between his legs and looking up at him with a smile. "Really?"

All he does is look down at me, his pupils growing bigger by the second. So I continue my venture, sliding my hands up the insides of his legs until I reach the belt. "So you don't love when I do this?"

Spencer sighs, helping me by lifting his hips a little and letting me slide down layers of fabric until his dick is right in front of me.

I don't waste any time, taking him in my hand and bringing him to my mouth. He's still not entirely hard yet, but I don't mind at all. In fact, I let out a happy sigh just before I press kiss after kiss along the entire length of him. From base to tip, I take my time kissing and licking along the salty skin and giving him my full attention. I pull back and admire him, I smile, I kiss and I lick and I squeeze him with my hand... And when he's finally nice and hard, I take the head of his cock in my mouth and suck gently.

"Y/N..."

I hum around him, sinking further down until he hits the back of my throat, and then I come back up and repeat. It's slow. Maybe torturous even, but really I don't mean it to be.

Thankfully Spencer seems to be happy with my speed and technique; His eyes are on the verge of closing and his chest is heaving slowly, fingers gently caressing the sides of my face as I go down on him.

It's this same slow, steadying pace we'd taken before, and it's exactly what we needed.

I can feel his touch on my face, burning into my skin and marking me for all eternity. Likewise, the thick, throbbing weight of his cock sliding over my tongue and down my throat feels just like home— Like it's right where we're meant to be.

Once again, we fit together perfectly.

This epiphany sets a fire deep in the pits of my stomach, and just like that our spark is back again.

I look up and catch his eye, and he lets me keep it, forcing himself to keep his eyelids open to watch me. My pace remains consistent and slow, and and he brings both of his hands under my chin. The way he holds my face is so gentle, so loving and sensual that I nearly burst with tears at the sentiment alone, and it doesn't take long for him to start letting go.

He stutters my name when he comes, still using the pads of his nimble fingers to caress my throat. I take in and swallow each rope of cum until it's gone, and even then I keep him in my mouth, gently bobbing my head up and down just for the sake of feeling him inside me somehow.

But then he lifts me off of him and his dick falls limp in his lap. I sigh and lean down, kissing it a few times before just resting my head in his lap as he strokes my hair.

"You're right," Spencer says after a few moments.

"About what?"

"I do love when you make trouble."

We laugh, and I lift my head to look up at him.

"I know... It's your favorite."

"That it is, princess."

AUGUST 26th

I wish more than anything that this orientation would just end. My left foot is anxiously tapping the cool white tile of the floor as I wait to be next in line to grab my paperwork and get on my way— To home for what I'm sure will be a long weekend trying to find free minutes to steal with Spencer.

In another life it might have gotten tedious and painful sneaking around for so long, but I found it excited me. Sure, my feelings for Spencer were growing at an exponential rate, but ever since I visited him in our home office, we seemed to be getting back our groove— With an added flair I might add...

Each time we were together was more intense than the last. His hands got more possessive, his kisses got deeper and more passionate, and the way he looked at me?

I could swear I felt him falling just as deep as I was.

The smile it all brought to my face in that moment fell a little short when they called me next in line, and I fell into a joyful step forward to collect my things.

When I get home, though, things aren't as joyful.

The first thing I notice is that Spencer's car isn't in the driveway or even on the street. He's usually here on weekends, so I wonder if he's out for something, or even out with my mom on a lunch date or something.

I try not to think about that thought too much and step inside, hoping to at least enjoy the silence for a little while, lest they really are out together.

I think I'm out of the woods when I hear the television, a laugh track of some kind, but then it turns into the Friends theme blaring through the speakers, and my heart nearly falls into the pit of my stomach.

There's only one reason Mom would be watching Friends. She swears up and down that she hates it, but it always ends up on TV when there's one specific thing she's going through, because "Hearing them complain about their stupid problems make me feel better about my own!"

Her own problem being a breakup.

For a moment I wonder if maybe Spencer had told her about us. Or maybe she found something somehow that would give us away. I make my way slowly through the space until I reach the living room, my brain making up every possible horrendous outcome— Not even to prepare for the blow, because I know that absolutely nothing could prepare me for the wrath of my mother in any situation... I simply can't help myself from feeling guilty and heartbroken as my stomach churns and my heart beats so loud I can barely hear the TV anymore.

When I come into her view, Mom freezes and lets out a large breath of shaky air. The small tub of ice cream in her hands shakes just as much, and I can tell she's trying her hardest not to burst into tears.

I've never seen her this upset before. Normally it's just anger and annoyance, but this time she looks utterly broken.

"M—Mom?" I stutter, even though she probably can't even hear what I'm saying over the TV. I still don't know if she knows about my involvement with Spencer, but I feel like she'd be more angry with me than sad, so I figure it's safe to come closer.

The moment I take a step forward, she sets the ice cream on the floor and opens her arms to me, a choked sob forcing its way out. It almost makes me cry, just seeing her this heartbroken, and in an instant I'm running to her and snuggling into her side as she hugs me.

"What happened?" I will myself to ask, even though I still have no idea what it means for me. Maybe that's selfish, but if he's taking himself out of Mom's life, surely that has to mean he's removing himself from mine as well, right? And if he's just leaving without saying anything... God, that would ruin me, too.

Still, I wait to hear what Mom will say.

"He broke up with me," is all she says, through a long and tired sigh. She mutes the TV and then holds me tighter. I can feel that there's pure sadness controlling her every movement, and it crushes me.

"Why?"

"I don't know, he just... He said he didn't love me, and he wasn't feeling it anymore."

"That's all?"

"Uh huh... It was so sudden, too, like... I thought we were really getting along, and I just... I don't understand how he couldn't feel it... I felt all of it, and he just... He felt nothing. How could he feel nothing?"

I really don't know what to say anymore... It seems to me like Spencer really told her the truth and ended their relationship because he didn't feel anything for her anymore, but... I always knew he had to have felt something... I guess I just didn't realize someone could fall out of it so quickly.

The guilt overwhelms me then, when it dawns on me that I made him fall out of it so fast. I was there, taking up small moments of his time until, eventually, I'd taken up so much of it that it wasn't just his time I was stealing, but also his love. His fire, and his passion... Month by month, day by day, I was draining the love he had for my mom and distilling it to meet my own desires.

And now, here I am, in my mothers arms as she weeps over a man she truly loved, all because he and I were selfish and treasonous.

If Spencer decides he still wants to be with me after this, I really don't know if I could do it. Even after all this time... After all this trouble and guilt and glorious treason...

He could never really be mine.

———

Y/N,

I knew this day would come from the moment I met you. Of course, I didn't know how far my feelings would take me, but in the end I knew I would one day have to leave you and your mother behind.

Day by day my feelings for you grew stronger, and it wasn't until you told me you loved me that August Thirteenth that I realized I loved you, too. What we had was always dangerous, but by then my heart was focused solely on you, and I could feel your mother slipping from my grasp.

I pretended for as long as I could, but now you've taken up so much space in my brain that when Eve pulled me near, I almost sighed out your name instead. I knew then that no longer could I "keep up appearances," as I often like to tell you.

Maybe one day you and I can find our way back to each other, but for now, I think it's for the very best that we go our separate ways.

In my wildest dreams I will think of you fondly, and I can only hope that you might do the same.

Always Yours, Spencer

JUNE 19th, SEVEN YEARS LATER

There are so many things I'm thinking about when I come home tonight.

One: I'm a little tipsy and completely fucked out, which reminds me of that night I came home in the exact same state, only to find my mom's old boyfriend, Spencer, unable to sleep and to stop staring at my bare legs. The memory brings a smile to my face.

Two: My feet fucking hurt and I want to get these goddamned shoes off.

Three: The ghost of Spencer's smile when he saw me for the first time in seven years burns in the back of my mind, right next to the ghost of his hands caressing my skin like it had been the first time.

Four: How am I going to spend the rest of the summer back in town knowing what it feels like to have fucked him at all without an ounce of guilt attached to it?

Five: Am I going to tell my mom that I slept with her ex-boyfriend tonight?

Six: Fuck, I'm hungry...

My heels come off as soon as I step through the door.

The light is on, and I can hear Mom laughing in the kitchen with Adam from far away, which brings a fond smile to my face. I'm glad that she's finally happy, with someone who doesn't make me want to fall to my knees, thank you very much.

And truthfully, if I hadn't ran into Spencer at all tonight, I'm not sure I ever would have thought about that whole situation again— It was fucked up, he ended up leaving both of us, and Mom was so deeply devastated after their breakup that I didn't have the heart to tell her I missed him too. I just buried it deep down and tried to move on right alongside her, eventually erasing his memory from my mind, body, and soul.

Well, almost.

There were days, obviously, where his letter hummed inside my pillowcase where he left it, whether I brought it to college or kept it at home, or it sat soundly in my new apartment. His words were always there, spilling into my dreams and dancing with me through our memories; tangled tongues and limbs, wild nights and passionate mornings...

I'd wake up feeling hot to the touch and missing him completely.

Thankfully those days were few and far in between, and for a while I'd stopped thinking of him altogether.

But of course, it turns out that Spencer Reid is in fact, pretty damn inevitable.

That bar downtown was packed, so it was a wonder I'd even ran into him of all people in the first place. What he was doing there I didn't know. And neither do I now, because from the moment we laid eyes on each other, it was this constant state of shell-shock and fire, nothing else. He asked briefly about Mom, I told him she'd been married for four years, and then he joked about how he was surprised I hadn't tried to steal him from her.

Naturally, with that ever so playful look in his eye practically taunting me, I played to his joke and responded with a sultry smile, "The only one I ever wanted to steal was you, Doctor..."

The rest wasn't exactly a blur, but all I'm going to say is that we spent the rest of our time together at his apartment, "catching up on lost time"... And as much as I'd grown out of the submissive role sexually over the years, I found myself crawling back, submitting to him like I'd done it a million times over. And, really, I might as well have.

It's like we'd never stopped.

That being said, I declined his offer to stay the night and told him to give me a call some time before I left to go back to Seattle. Though, not without giving him a thousand goodbye kisses that were rather counterproductive.

Thinking about it makes my cheeks burn hot, though thankfully it's summer, and Mom won't have to question it. Though, if she does, I suppose I could keep it short and sweet and tell her the truth at the very least: that I met up with an old friend who showed me a good time.

"Hey'a, Sweetpea," she greets with a bright wave. She and Adam are obviously a little tipsy, more than me by the looks of it, but I pay it no mind. "How was you're night?"

"Great! Went to a few bars downtown, met up with some friends..."

"Oh, good, well we're glad you got back safe."

I snag a bottle of water and an apple from the fridge, then turn back around to see Mom and Adam snuggled in, sharing a smile that would make even the happiest person on the planet sick to their stomach.

Oddly enough, it reminds me of back then, when she was with Spencer, happier than ever and completely oblivious to what was going on in her daughter's life.

The thought makes my stomach flutter, taking me back to earlier in the night when he had his hands tangled in my hair and his mouth attached to my skin, spewing filthy words and praises that had me begging for more...

"I missed you, princess," he whispers, holding himself deep inside me. His fingers brush the matted hair from my face, revealing more of my saccharine smile and eyes that swim with mischief.

"I missed you too," I whine, reaching out and grabbing handfuls of his ass, shoving him even farther inside me and wrapping my legs around him tighter. "...Daddy..."

Spencer loses all semblance of cool, pulling back and slamming into me with full force. I—

"Y/N?"

I blink away his memory, reminding myself of where I am and what I'm doing, finding Mom looking at me with a curious gleam in her eye.

"What are you thinking about?"

With a small smile, I nod in her direction. "Oh, uh... You'll never believe who I ran into tonight."

———

PERMANENT TAGLIST (tags not working are struck out):  @elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup @liveloudwriteloud @reidsconverse @la-vie-en-amour1 @edgycowboy666 @averyhotchner @centiaaa @lizziechaseee @coffeeandendlesswords @usuck @spenxerslut @ssacalumsg0lden @emilyprentisslittlewhore @takeyourleap-of-faith @reidyoulikeabook @spencerreid9 @b-a-utiful @jareauswifey @flipperpenguins @pansexualthing @donald4spiderman @awesomebooklover17​ @shemarmooresfedora @izraahh1 @bakugouswh0r3 @singularityjc @xoxospencerreid @thatsonezesty13 @big-galaxy-chaos @mggskneescrews @youabitchhhh @spencersjello @moonlight-2-6 @starrylang @foreveryoungxx3 @spencerreidscoffeecup @morganwilliams @emilyprsntiss @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @gubswh0re @mrsobrien888 @loveeee2134 @umbreonwolfy @ayla-1605

If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, feel free to message me or leave a comment and I’ll get on it right away!

[sukirichi]

hey!! congrats on 500!! could i get breakfast: ingredient 33 + sugar 7 for nanami kento? thanks!!

VIOLET

violet; a flower that symbolizes faith and affection — this was simply one of your promises to Nanami.

meal order: 🥞 + 33 (royalty au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) (no warnings, other than this fic is unedited.)

notes: thank you so much for joining the event and requesting! i honestly loved this idea so much, i still remember how happy i was when i first saw it and i looked forward to writing it. i hope this was what you were looking for! i may or may not have been too deep in the feels with this one. anyways, enjoy and thank you so much! breakfast has been served!

word count: 7k+ 

“Nanami.”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

You looked up from under the golden roof, a small smile on your face. The sun shone down brightly, the calm, gentle air making the flowers in your royal garden dance side by the side, almost as if encouraged by the soft kiss of nature. In this lightning, all the colors popped out vibrantly, a wide array of splashes of life laid out before you. “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?”

Nanami, your bodyguard, followed your line of sight. “Yes, Your Highness.”

Stiff and straightforward as ever, you connoted with a hidden smile. “Perfect,” you announced, lifting your gloved hands in a beckoning gesture. “Come with me. I must inspect the garden. I heard from the staff last night that my new flowers have arrived. I shall see to it that it came in perfect condition,” Nanami nodded beside you and followed you as you trudged all the way out in broad daylight, your hair shining from the sun’s rays.

As if noticing the harsh glare of heat on your skin, Nanami was quick to open your parasol, standing at least a foot behind you. Trained to be obedient flawless in their duties, his footsteps were silent behind you, nothing but the tapping of your heels against the ground heard from the open space.

You were shielded from the heat, but you weren’t satisfied.

With a faux, distressed clicking of your tongue, you stopped in your tracks, whipping around to face your black-suit clad bodyguard. His gaze immediately fell down to your feet, back tilted in a perfect bow. You sighed, “Nanami.”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Do you want to be fired?”

He froze at your words, momentarily looking up at you for a moment before turning to the ground again. “Of course not, Your Highness,” although monotonous, you could detect the slight tinge of worry in his voice, and you felt a smile crossing on your lips when you saw his brows furrow. “I extremely apologize if I’ve done something wrong. I must repent for it and assess my worth as your—”

“You’re not holding the parasol properly,” you cut him off and stepped forward, reaching to his extended arm and placing yourself right next to him until your shoulders were close enough to brush against each other.

Nanami’s jaw clenched at the lack of space, probably worrying that this was disrespectful, completely unaware you enjoyed every single moment of it, especially now that your senses were clouded with both his masculine scent and the calming aroma of flowers.

“If you keep such a distance from me and extend your arm to hold this, you’d tire your arm, and when your arm is strained, then you won’t be able to be fast enough to protect me from whatever harm comes my way. Plus, holding it in this manner leaves my nose to be burnt under the harsh sun! You wouldn’t want your princess to have sunburn, would you?”

“Definitely not, Your Highness. I would not want any harm or trouble your way.”

“So then step close to me. Like this,” you gestured to the both of you, and underneath the parasol, the hesitance swirled all over those pretty blue eyes of his. It made you want to sigh; he worried too much sometimes. “See? Your arm won’t be tired and my nose is perfectly safe under this shade.”

“But Your Highness – this distance—”

“I shall permit it for now. The situation calls for it,” you waved a hand nonchalantly, moving to where you wanted to see the new flowers. Although you couldn’t see him, the lack of warmth beside you was a telltale Nanami was too stunned to move, and you turned around, head tilted challengingly. “Or you’re still questioning the judgment of your princess?”

Nanami frowned, “I am not, Your Highness.”

“Good. Let’s see the flowers then,” You chirped with a clap.

It was the perfect day for a stroll, a rare day where you basked in not having to worry about your princess duties. The sun was out, the skies were clear, and was that a butterfly happily flying in your garden? Now that Nanami had grown comfortable after mentally reassuring himself it was fine to stick close to you, it honestly couldn’t have been better. But you being the sneaky little princess you were, you still had other plans in mind.

Three maids appeared out of nowhere, carrying a basket, a blanket, and a bottle of wine. They all strolled your way with their heads duck down, wordlessly setting out the white and red plaid patterned blanket on the soft, freshly trimmed grass.

You clapped your hands in sheer enthusiasm, “Oh, how perfect timing! It is quite tiring to stroll around this massive garden, don’t you think, Nanami? We should take a break.”

“A...picnic, Your Highness? Out here? Would you not be more comfortable inside—”

“The dining halls are boring and all the staff would be staring at me as I eat,” you plopped down rather ungraciously on the ground, taking off your heels and planting your sock clad feet on the blanket. On any other normal day, your dear Mother would’ve smacked you with her fan had she seen you act this way, but your parents were out of town, and Nanami was the last person who’d ever judge you. You had every right to be free. “It’s not a very comfortable thing, as you must know, and I’d like to enjoy my temporary freedom.”

A few beats passed as Nanami processed your words. A frown still on his handsome face, he studied the comfort of your body on the ground, already moving to open the basket with a cheerful hum. He supposed it wouldn’t be so bad to let you be this way.

“I will follow whatever pleases you then, Your Highness.”

You hid a smile through sucked in cheeks, pulling out the cake and acting surprised even though you’d ordered this days ago, randomly dragging a servant aside to shyly ask her to get you Nanami’s rumored favorite cake from when he went with you on a trip overseas.

“Oh, look! Fondant Cake from the Kingdom of Cherie. Fine, fine wine too, the best from His Majesty’s collection, if I heard it correctly,” you could barely contain your glee when the slightest light glimmered through his guarded eyes, hands reaching down to pat the empty space beside you. “Sit down. I need you to eat this for me.”

“But Your Highness—”

“Lest you want me to be poisoned, Nanami?” you reeled your hand back, gloved hands placed above your chest as horror filled your gaze. Nanami – bless his sweet soul – quickly bent his knees in half. Slowly, with disbelief still crossing his mind, he allowed you to spoon feed him, the chocolate sauce of the cake staining the tips of his lips. “Well? How is it? Is it safe to eat?”

Nanami moaned; pride swelling up on your chest because finally, you could do something for him. He was still too cautious though, and he concealed his delight with a slight clearing of his throat, palms flat on his muscular thighs as he nodded your way. “It is extremely delicious, Your Highness. I believe it is safe to eat.”

“Did you like it?” You already knew the answer, but it wouldn’t hurt to hear it straight from him.

“Yes.”

Thankful that your ears were covered by a frilly bonnet so he wouldn’t see how warmth crawled up at the tips of your ears, you beamed at him, proudly presenting more of the surprised you had in store.

“I have fresh milk cheese from the city of Lein too. Do you know that people travel from all over the world just to visit Lein and have a taste of this cheese? If it were not for our good connections to them, we would never be able to taste this,” you felt Nanami’s curious gaze fall on the delicacy on your hands, a smirk tilting your lips because cheese as quite rare where you were from. Setting it down on a plate, you cut a piece of the dairy, the fork nearly shoved in Nanami’s face. “But just to make sure, of course. We never know people’s intentions – I could be poisoned. You know very well there are plenty of people after the throne and my head.”

Nanami’s eyes widened at your implications, “Princess, please do not speak so lightly of the threats over your life.”

“Why, does it worry you?”

Nanami looked at you like you’d grown two heads. “Of course it does. It is my duty to protect and worry about you.”

“Is it really just a duty?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Nothing,” you said through gritted teeth, pushing the plate towards him again before Nanami could comprehend whatever went on in your head. “Pair it with the cake. Maybe there could be a chemical reaction that is life threatening. Oh, how I fear for my life, Nanami.”

Obediently, Nanami swallowed the food, eyes closed from the flavors bursting through his mouth. It wasn’t too much of a reaction, but there were hardly any when it came to Nanami to begin with, so it was enough for you, and your giggles were stifled beside him. “I believe this one is safe too.”

And so began your spontaneous picnic, with Nanami being flustered the whole time because you insisted on feeding him. He refused many times, claiming that a royal shouldn’t feed a servant, much less spend their time with him this way. Even though you didn’t mean it, you rolled your eyes just to dissipate his worries, lying through your teeth that you were full and you didn’t want to be suffocated in your corset.

You proceeded to tell him of the different ways his precious princess could die of asphyxiation. The more grotesque your storytelling began; Nanami ate everything quietly, still oblivious that you had your eyes on him the whole time.

He ate quickly, not wanting to be rude and take up too much of your time, but you insisted that you didn’t want him to choke and ordered him to slow down. As your lovely and dutiful servant, who was he to defy your orders? So he took his time, and you closed your eyes, leaning back onto his firm shoulders that grew rigid under the contact.

Soon though, Nanami relaxed, and you were about ready to fall asleep when Nanami quietly announced he’d finished his food, thanking you for the meal.

“That was a lovely picnic,” you grinned at him, even if you’d barely eaten anything.

After all, you only asked for servings for one person, lying to your staff that you wanted it for yourself. Should the higher-ups ever hear about you ordering two servants to share it with someone else when it was painfully clear to everyone in the kingdom you had no prince, it would cause chaos.

Nanami followed you as you stood up, the servants taking it upon themselves to clear up the dishes before they left you to your own devices. You walked all the way near the back of the garden, a place private only for the royal members for this was where they kept their most precious flowers. Upon seeing that the ones you’ve ordered had arrived and they were blooming beautifully beside the white roses, you ran to it, gesturing for Nanami to come closer. He leant down to inspect it, watching the way it twirled around your elegant fingers.

“This is called a Violet. It symbolizes faith and affection.”

“It is beautiful,” he commented quietly, his cool gaze sliding over to yours. “It suits you very much, Your Highness.”

Your cheeks warmed at the sudden attention, which was ironic, since wasn’t that what you always wanted? “I think it suits someone else better, if I were to be honest,” you admitted mysteriously, leaving your bodyguard confused for the nth time that day, but as always, he kept silent unless spoken to. Nanami’s eyes drifted to the flowers again, the rule of never looking in the eyes of royals burned right through his head.

Deep down in your heart, you knew it was a bit too early, but you’d always been impatient. You wouldn’t wait for the right time or the perfect opportunity – you preferred to grab moments and create them yourself.

Squeezing the hem of your dress under bundled fists, you finally gained the courage to be as upfront with him. “Nanami, can you promise me something?”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Never forget this flower. When you are feeling down, I want you to remember this lives and blooms here, that it was the Princess’ favorite, and she wants nothing more than to have this whole garden bloom with it,” You knew, you knew painfully that Nanami may never understand your garden referred to your heart and that it bloomed with your affection for him, but was it so bad to hope that one day you may show your adoration for him?

You’d prepared for this – for the possibility that maybe you never could – so you ordered these flowers, wishing silently that someday Nanami might understand the things you could never say.

“When the right time comes, I shall pluck a flower and give it to the person that receives my faith affection, and I’ll create an entire garden for them.”

Nanami absorbed your words, processing them seriously just as a servant should when it comes to their master’s words. A moment later, Nanami nodded once, head bowed in respect. “I’m sure whoever Prince is lucky enough to get your hand in marriage will be absolutely delighted, Your Highness.”

“The person I long for is not a prince,” you hinted, “He sure is charming, however, much to his ignorance.”

Nanami peeked at you under his blond lashes, the confused pout on his face worrisome yet adorable. It made you want to step forward and capture those red lips in a kiss, but you were still his Princess, and he your bodyguard. You couldn’t do it – not now, at least – for his sake. “I am not sure it would be ideal that you marry a non-royal, Your Highness.”

“Tell me, Nanami,” you began, voice turning serious that his ears perked up at the sudden firmness compared to your usually lilted self. “Do you believe love should be constrained by rules and traditions?”

His answer came in an instant, making you wonder if he would still keep to his words if he found out everything. “No, Your Highness.”

You smiled at his answer – longingly, proudly, and at the same time sadly. “And I wholeheartedly agree with you on that.” Without another word, you turned your back on him and walked back inside the large castle, his footsteps finally audible as he followed you.

Funny it was, that you, a royal-blooded woman found so much comfort in the sound of someone’s breathing and footsteps.

“Nanami.”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

You sighed and placed your book down your lap, playfully glaring at the stiff bodyguard who hadn’t moved a muscle ever since he accompanied you in your private library. “You are causing me an uncomfortable amount of stress. I do not like it.”

“What have I done wrong, Your Highness?” his voice trembled again, his back forming that straight, perfect bow that you knew took him years to practice. It probably caused him a lot of pain if his head guard slapped the other servants’ backs just to straighten their spine, and you winced at the idea of it. No one had ever even dared laid a finger on your hair; not without your permission, anyway.

“I sincerely apologize for my shortcomings. I hereby vow to do better in my duties to serve you.”

“As you should. Now come here,” you beckoned him to come closer, sighing louder when Nanami sat a foot away from you, lips pressed into a tight line. “Closer, Nanami.”

Biting his lip – and you nearly couldn’t tear your gaze away from the sight – Nanami inched closer to you, his back still perfectly straight, eyes staring straight ahead, and he was so rigid you wondered if he even breathed at all.

You shook your head with a stifled smile, soft, tireless hands bunching up to release the tight knots of his firm, broad shoulders. You weren’t surprised he felt this hard under your touch; he was a bodyguard, after all, the Princess’ personal one, at that. It made sense he kept himself trimmed, but it didn’t stop the heat spreading all over your skin anyway as you imagined just how firm he was under his clothes.

Eager to get rid of such inappropriate thoughts, you huffed through your nose, continuing to roll your fingers over his back.

“You look so stiff that I cannot focus on this novel I’m reading. Heavens know how shameful it must be that we are getting scholars to study with me this weekend and I am not even halfway done with this classic. It truly bothers me, Nanami.”

“Your Highness,” Nanami’s voice was hushed, his eyes staring directly into yours. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you a massage. If you keep up being this rigid around me, I will lose focus because it makes me uncomfortable, and if I lose focus, I can’t perform my duty well as the princess, and if I am unable to do that, I lose respect, then my title stripped away from me. Terrifying, Nanami. Terrifying, indeed.”

Nanami was silent for a while, his gaze not leaving your focused face. Then, he turned away, his shoulders deflating as he gave in to the pleasure of your surprisingly expert hands. “I am extremely sorry.”

“As you should be,” you commented sarcastically, “Now relax. Pick up a book you like and have some of the biscuits, tea. I cannot focus with you standing around me like a statue. The stone gargoyles do that for us already,” when Nanami didn’t budge a muscle even after you’d finished massaging him, you waved a hand in the air, brow raised challengingly. “Well? Are you defying my orders?”

Nanami shot up from his seat in an instant, “Of course not, Your Highness.”

You pulled the book up higher to hide the wide grin on your lips, watching his curious and slightly dazed staring at the walls upon walls of books stacked upon one another. His wonder of the sight left you wondering just how you managed not to kiss every part of him senseless, for he was so fascinating and far more intriguing than any other universe written beyond these pages.

Nanami’s long, slender fingers finally plucked out a rather thick novel he seemed to find interesting, making his way back to you. He still sat on the other end of the couch to respect your space, and you kept silent this time, not wanting to cross the line.

He may be comfortable around you now, but you knew Nanami better than anyone, and he still held his orders and duties close to his heart that he would never break them no matter what.

It was a compelling quality of his – one you had no idea whether to admire or be irritated of.

Your twinkling eyes studied his stunning features; from his slicked back hair, to his sunken cheeks, all the way down to the sharp point of his nose and to the plumpness of his lips. He was too beautiful that you wondered how he hadn’t managed to be snagged away yet when you were reminded that Nanami was too busy in his duties of protecting you to have time for romance – and for the first time, you felt thankful for the fact you were a royal.

“That is a good one,” you piped up as you read the title of the classic novel. It was a classic about the variegated realms between dreams and reality, one you haven’t read but always wanted to. “Do you mind reading it to me someday? I love the sound of your voice.”

Nanami’s cheeks flushed a bright red at your unexpected compliment, but he nodded anyway, clearing his throat before he spoke. “S-someday, Your Highness, if your schedule allows it so.”

It sounded so much like a promise – and you looked forward eagerly to it.

Finally gaining your focus and determination to study and perform your royal duties now that Nanami had finally taken some time to relax, you did the same, leaning back onto the velvet couch and crossing your legs over the other. “Someday it is.”

“You have to be prepared for your coronation ball,” Rubine, one of the assistants of your dancing tutor made known, snapping her fingers in front of your face when you’d unknowinfly spaced out the window. “Now, up on those toes, back straight and head held high, Your Highness. Let us see if you’ve mastered your dance routine. You must understand it is the most crucial part of the ball and all eyes will be watching you. You cannot afford to make a single mistake.”

Suddenly remembering of why you were spacing out, you winced at the previous phone call prior to Rubine’s arrival. “I am well aware of that, Rubine, but...”

“But?”

“My dance partner, Philippe, just called to say he’s fallen ill and cannot make it today.”

“Ah, Philippe!” Rubine tugged at her hair, dramatically bending forwards to groan, “This is the final rehearsal! Your coronation is so near!” She sat up straight and paced back and forth, her long locks jumping and bouncing as she chewed at her nails. “Well, what shall we do now? We don’t have anyone else to practice with you and I’m only here to substitute for Madam Tee. She’d kill me if she finds out you didn’t rehearse, and I doubt any of the boy servants would know anything about the dance.”

“If I may,” Nanami suddenly spoke up from the corner, tentatively approaching the both of you with one of his hands laid flat on his abdomen. You and Rubine fell silent, his eyes flitting over yours for a moment. “I’ve been with the Princess from all of her dance classes. I know the routine very well,” his tongue darted out to lick at his lips, sending both your mind and heart into a frenzy overdrive. “If Her Highness is comfortable with it, I may be her dance partner for now.”

“That works, I suppose.”

“I’d like to see you dance, Nanamin,” you teased confidently, but no mistake, your heart drummed wildly in your chest at the idea of dancing with the man who’d unknowingly captured both your eye and heart the moment you met him. “Let’s see how good you are then. I warn you though; I’m a very skilled dancer. But please, don’t fret, I won’t criticize you.”

You expected Nanami to at least go along with your lighthearted teasing, but he was Nanami Kento; a very dutiful servant who lived to please and serve his master.

He simply pressed a polite kiss to the pads of your knuckled when you offered it, his eyes still unreadable as he praised, “You are a very good dancer indeed, Your Highness.”

You already knew that, but hearing it fall from his lips hit differently. It suddenly got harder and harder to remember the routine, your confidence slipping into thin air the moment his warm hands wound around the curve of your waist, flattening at the small of your back.

Your breath hitched as you looped your fingers through his larger, calloused ones, and your heart absolutely melted because you fit just perfectly in his hands. Considering that you’d taken off your gloves, you could feel ever callous and scar in his hands, a huge contrast to your soft ones that had never known a day of manual labor.

Nanami was close enough you could feel his breath warm your cheeks, with you staring up at him with wide, blown out eyes. He was still expressionless as ever, jaw tight and brows dipped low, but you could see the softness in his gaze – nearly bordering on adoration.

In that moment, you felt yourself falling harder, and soon, you were both lost in the music.

Nanami was right – he did know the dance. For such an unyielding protector, Nanami danced extremely well, his turns and guidance to your twists flawless.

He caught you in his arms each time, his hands slipping back to hold your waist as if it was second nature for him to hold you like this, to dance with you like this. Everything faded into nothingness at the background, both your gazes captured and enamored by one another. Somewhere in the climax of the dance, your chest pressed flush against his a little tighter, your hands squeezing his a little harder, and you both danced like you were the only ones that mattered in each other’s world.

And in that moment, it felt like you did.

When the music slowly faded out to its ending, you and Nanami were both breathing hard from the strenuous performance that required the utmost elegant execution. Still, his hands remained on your waist, your hand holding him in such a manner that you almost refused to let him go.

But you had to – you knew you had to – and with a broken smile, you pulled away from Nanami.

“Wow,” breathed out Rubine “Princess, I am blown away. You’ve danced better than you ever did with Philippe. You two have got amazing chemistry,” she rubbed her chin at the observation, but you and Nanami were turned away from each other, both of your hearts more conflicted than ever. Rubine, however, remained unknowing of this all. “I guess being around each other all the time adds in to that fact too. That was a very mesmerizing and intimate performance – I actually felt a little guilty that I’m witnessing such moment.”

“I am glad I could be of service to Her Highness.”

Your gaze cut through his, the heat in your eyes loud enough that he was compelled to hold your stare. You immediately softened at his expression; giving in to the pleads of your heart that you were and always will be, utterly and hopelessly in love with him – even if it was impossible he’d ever feel the same way.

Surely, though, it wouldn’t be so much of a sin for a princess to be selfish in a while. “I look forward to dancing with you on the ball, Nanamin.”

“I highly doubt that, Your Highness,” Nanami’s eyes blanked out into an unfathomable expression again, making you wonder if the fondness he held you with when you danced ever existed. “You would be swarmed and surrounded by royals and elites – and I shall be watching out for you from the distance, as always. It’s going to be a crucial event and you have duties to fulfil; a dance with your bodyguard would only ruin the importance of the event,” he reminded you, his words like a slap to your face.

You didn’t have to be scholarly enough to interpret the meaning of his words; Nanami was reminding you that he was servant as you were master, and it simply would not happen. “Who knows what people would say...I only worry about your reputation, Your Highness. Words cut deeper than a knife.”

“I know that,” you agreed with a shattered heart, “I guess I’ll just dream then.”

The coronation went smoother than expected. Until it wasn’t. People from all over the world came, chatting with you about the latest political trends and plans on how you wished to broaden your territories and expand trading systems.

Everything went fine and accordingly to plan until the marriage talk was brought up. Before you knew it, princes and dukes, along with equally socially powerful men came flooding left and right, pressing kisses to your (thankfully) gloved hands and spewing out poetry as if it would impress you. In a way, it did, at least most of them had good taste in literature and were actually well-read, but your eyes kept searching for a certain blond in the crowd, that sinking feeling only growing in the pit of your stomach.

Eventually, it became too much for you.

A neighboring prince asked for your marriage and announced he was good friends with your family, and that about crossed the line and tipped you over the edge until you excused yourself. Growing too tired with all this unnecessary “royal duties”, you disappeared from the crowd, running to the nearest desolated terrace and crying your eyes out.

You never wanted to be a princess.

You never wanted to be born with such luxury, only to pay a price that you couldn’t even choose your own future.

You lost track of time and you no longer questioned why no one looked for you. With each passing second, the crown above your braided hair grew a lot heavier and you slumped across the pillar, burying your tear-streaked face behind your arms. You just felt so tired you wanted to rest – wanted to see Nanami, to run away, to tell him that you loved him.

But he wasn’t there. You hadn’t even seen him the moment you woke up, servants flocking you at every corner as they prepared you for the event.

Your heart ached and you called out for him in broken whispers, wishing that he’d be there to comfort you. “Nanami,” you cried out softly. It was pathetic, really, that the newly crowned queen was crying like a child who lost their toy as you hid from the crowd. “Nanami, where are you, Nanami—”

A pair of arms tugged you into a solid chest, your cheek pressing on top of a rapid heartbeat that raced to no end. Warm, strong arms engulfed you in a hug, a heavy head with a familiar scent falling on the sides of your head that was free from the tips of the crown.

“I thought I lost you, Queen,” Nanami panted, his hold on you growing tighter. Your tears stopped flowing as you fisted his shirt, weakening in his arms and he let you – he knew even the Queen of this prosperous kingdom was still a person and you allowed yourself to grow vulnerable, because this was Nanami and Nanami always caught you.

Before you could stop yourself, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his, the salt of your tears passing to his cheeks.

Nanami stood frozen solid for a second before he kissed you back, taking your breath away because his lips held the same wanting as yours did. Soon, his large hands cupped your face as he pulled you closer to him, sighing into your mouth as if he’s dreamed of this moment as long as you had. Nanami kissed you with so much love pouring from his lips that he didn’t have to tell you for you to know, prompting the dam within you to break.

You were crying – the happy tears flowing endlessly – while his thumbs wiped the tears away.

“I love you,” you confessed as you both pulled away, foreheads pressed against each other. This time, there was no more fear or worry as love shone in both your eyes, your hands still helplessly clinging on to him for dear life. “I love you, Nanami, I’ve always loved you. Please don’t leave me – please don’t.”

“I wasn’t going anywhere, Your Majesty,” he addressed you according to your new title, but nothing has changed for him. “I have loved you too long before, and I’ll still keep loving you if you’ll let me.”

That night, you both shared a plethora of first. The first kiss. The first dance. The first I love you’s that wouldn’t stop spilling from your lips, the confessions accompanied with laughter. It was only the beginning of a wonderful yet unforgettable memory, and you abandoned all the riches and gold in the world because this, right here was your real treasure, and you sealed your promise of your faith affection to him with one last kiss.

Ever since you and Nanami had established your relationship, you felt like you were on cloud nine.

Being Queen didn’t seem too much of a grueling task anymore, not when Nanami was grazing his thumb over your knuckles under the table when you were doing paperwork, not when work days and boring, dreadful meetings always ended with him pulling you aside as everyone left for a quick kiss that soon turned into a heated lip-locking.

This was bliss – to have him right here, to finally be able to express how much you loved him – and you couldn’t get enough it.

You still had no king despite the number of suitors that visited every week, so much so that the maids have grown weary of cleaning up your trash bin filled with unopened love letters. Quite frankly, you couldn’t care less because you already had the love of your life within your arms. You turned everyone down, and it wasn’t a huge deal because you were just crowned Queen and surely you had far better things to do than worry about bringing about an heir, but it had already been a year and your advisors were mad.

They’ve informed you that several cities and kingdoms were losing trust over your reclusiveness, the diplomatic relationship turning strained thanks to your eagerness to deny everyone.

Your tongue slipped inside Nanami’s, his hands crawling under your night gown as his body crawled between your legs, with you sighing romantically into his mouth.

“Your Majesty,” he mumbled through stuttering kisses, his fingers deftly pressing into your curves. Despite your insistence that he addressed you by your name, Nanami requested that he still keep his duty as your bodyguard, and you were too soft to deny him this. “Your Majesty…I think we should put an end to this.”

You stopped kissing him.

Hands falling from his neck, you pulled away from him, eyes hardened into a glare. “What do you mean we should put an end to this? Are you suggesting we break up?”

“Yes.”

You gritted your teeth at how he said this so easily. Before you could open your mouth to retort, Nanami beat you to it, distracting you by pressing soft kisses on the column of your neck, always so gentle and careful to not leave marks where the maids could see.

“I’m only worried about you,” he whispered, “I am ruining your reputation because I am in love with you. Your Majesty, I promise to still serve you and be loyal to you,” Nanami pulled away after leaving one last kiss to the sensitive area of your neck that always had you whining in his arms, but this time, you whined out of desperation, nails digging into his bicep as he stared at you apologetically. “We cannot keep doing this, Your Majesty. We both cannot be selfish enough to abandon the future of our people.”

“Well, what about my future?” you banged your fist on your chest, “What about my happiness, Nanami, ever think about that?”

Nanami wiped away the tears streaming down your cheeks, pulling you into the comfort of his arms instead. He understood your pain better than anyone for he, too, shared your longing.

“I don’t want you to go,” you cried into his shoulder, gripping his shirt tightly that it crumbled beneath your grip. “It’s not a life if it’s not with you and just tell me what I have to do, I’ll abandon my title and I’ll stay with you, we don’t have to—”

Nanami silenced you with a kiss, this one more ardent than the others.

He whispered sweet nothings into yours, broken promises that he’d stay, that you didn’t have to change anything and that you could work it out. You believed him, or at least you fooled yourself that you did, because your hold on him was regretful, angry, begging.

The next morning, Nanami was gone from your chambers.

The next night, Nanami was gone from the servant chambers.

The next week, you were married to Prince Satoru from a Kingdom you’d never even heard of.

Nanami resigned. As per rule of the kingdom, staff didn’t need the monarch’s permission to be dismissed from their post. He wasn’t there in your wedding, and he wasn’t there for the next few days to come. These days stretched into weeks, and two months have already passed before you were silently staring out at your window, wondering what Nanami was doing.

The last thing you heard from him was that he went back to his family’s warm, living a peaceful life and bowing one last time to you before he completely disappeared.

His letter remained in your drawers, his neat cursive informing you that he was a lowly servant, and didn’t deserve you, that he didn’t want to ruin your future and only wanted the best for you. You wanted to hate him for it, wanted to curse him for it – but you only tossed and turned in your bed, staring at the ceilings as you pictured his rare smile over and over again.

You wondered how he was doing.

Was he happy? Was he okay? Did he think of you night before he slept? Did he miss you the same way you craved his touch, his voice, his laugh – everything about him and himself?

A loud rattling caught your attention, your head turning to see Prince, or rather, King Satoru saunter in. He was popular in his kingdom and even rumored to have a harem, which you could see happening because he was flirty and shameless.

It was clear that this was a loveless marriage and he only agreed because he had good ties with your family, also adding in to the fact he was the richest and most powerful out of all your suitors. You weren’t too friendly with him, but you weren’t treating each other like strangers too. You both acknowledged each other according to the title, but it never stretched to the fact he was man and you his wife.

Satoru had never talked to you before other than the common pleasantries, so it surprised you when he sat across you, mirroring that familiar torn and forlorn feeling as he stared at your kingdom.

“You and I,” he began quietly, “We both want what we cannot have, don’t we?”

“Hmm.”

“I know you’re in love with someone else,” Satoru smiled, and your eyes widened when he only chuckled knowingly. “It’s okay, Queen, I promise I don’t mind. In fact, I’m just the same as you – I’m madly in love with my butler you won’t understand.”

You nearly toppled over your seat at the sudden confession that Satoru laughed as he helped pull you up, but it didn’t stop you from blabbering.

“You-you’re in love with Geto Suguru?”

“That I am. I’ve been in love with him since we were kids, to be honest, but people had different expectations and plans for me, as you can see.”

“I,” your throat ran dry, your palms growing sweaty. Surely…you could trust him with this, right? “I’m also in love with my bodyguard, or former bodyguard, anyway. His name is Nanami Kento and he’s currently at his farm and I-I—”

“You want to see him and break this marriage?” Satoru didn’t even have to hear the words come from your mouth before he’s pulling you up to your feet, crystalline blue eyes as vivid as the sky. “Well, what’s holding you back, Queen? Let’s go look for him.”

Satoru dragged you along the hallways, liberated laughter echoing in the large space of the castle before you two saddle up your respective horses, shouting for the gate guards to move away. You’ve never felt this free – and Satoru shared the same glee as yours when he stretched his arms beyond the sky, whooping as he smacked his horse to go faster.

By the time you’ve made it into Nanami’s farm, it was nearly sunset, and both you and Satoru were drained from the long journey.

Nanami was dressed in a plain shirt and worn-out sweatpants, dirt caked on his sunken cheeks when he turned at the sounds of horses galloping, you perched on top of your white stallion proudly. “Nanami!” his eyes widened and he dropped the bucket he was holding, the breath taken away from his chest when you jumped off your horse, crashing him into a huge hug.

“Your Majesty,” he spoke breathily, hands coming up to caress the back of your head. “What are you doing here? And King Satoru? What’s going on?”

You answered him by dragging his collar down until his lips danced with yours. Just like that, all your worries and previous sorrows washed away into nothing as his hands gripped tightly at your hips, kissing you back just as eagerly that even he was crying. This time around, you reached to swipe your thumb over the warm tears, kissing him over and over again to remind him your feelings hadn’t changed.

“Let’s go home, Nanami. I promise I’ll do everything right this time around – just please, come home with me.”

You’ve lost count of the times you’ve prayed to the divine beings over and over again to give you one last chance, fearful that maybe Nanami would still be firm in his belief that he wasn’t good enough for you when he was perfect the way he is.

But then he kissed the crown of your head as a silent form of affection, staring deep into your eyes as he smiled, “Your wish has always been my command, Your Majesty.”

Nanami had his back turned to you, his slender hands plucking the violet flower. Upon hearing your not so sneaky footsteps, he whipped around and laughed just as you roared, making the little girl in his arms giggle, copying your greeting as she hissed her fangs.

“Rawr!”

“Aw, you’re so adorable!” you pinched her little cheeks before peppering them with kisses, your precious daughter laughing at the sudden shower of affection. Nanami laughed, too, the deep sound vibrating from deep within his chest. He held up your baby to kiss the left side of her cheeks while you squished her right, your baby’s cheeks smushed between the adoration of her parents. “You’re so cute – just like Daddy!”

“I am not cute,” he protested dejectedly, although the small smile on his face told a different story.

It wasn’t easy – none of this ever was, but you didn’t regret a single moment of it. The old school traditions of your kingdoms were abolished due to a long, hefty process of appealing to the public and proving that love should never be constrained by rules and traditions, and now Satoru was also happily married with his husband, Geto Suguru. The last letter you got from him informed you they adopted a two baby boys named Megumi and a feisty little girl called Nobara, and you were excited for the children to meet and play again.

Safe to say, it was all worth it. All the moments led up to this were painful and filled with longing, but you’d do it all over again if you could.

Because this was what you promised him – endless faith and affection – and you sealed this lifelong promise with a kiss.

“I love you, King,” you mumbled through his lips, and he laughed as he rocked the baby side to side. The kiss was slightly awkward since her grubby hands were trying to clutch both of your chins, sending you both into fits of laughter.

“I love you too, Queen,” he kissed the top of your head and your crown with it – for you were his woman, his wife, and the Queen who ruled all of his heart – leaning down to kiss his baby’s cheeks before he pulled you both in for a hug. The atmosphere that day was similar from when you first forced him to have a picnic with you; warm, sunny, with the wind encouraging the flowers to dance in sync like how you danced with Nanami when you were younger. Your baby gurgled nonsensically, Nanami smiling to himself as you both stared at the bundle of joy in his arms. “I love you too, Violet. Mommy and Daddy loves you a lot.”

To love him, to hold him, to cherish him – it was a promise you held deep within your soul.