#i’m really weird like that when it comes to shows. like i’ll spoil the entire thing for myself just to make sure i know i’ll like it before

[inkykeiji]

I feel like you'd like the show Tokyo Revengers. it's about gangs in Tokyo and honestly it gets me very in my feelings because theres a lot of tragedy involved within show. they also go very in detail about each characters back story without taking away from the general plot/idea behind the show. obviously no pressure to watch!!! I just figured id throw it out there cause it seems we have similar tastes in shows/books/characters/depth!

i’ve been recommended this anime a few times, actually!!! and i can totally see why; with the organized crime/gang aspect + supposedly well written characters it def seems up my alley (and i only say ‘supposedly’ because i haven’t watched/read any of the media and thus cannot judge for myself, but i’m not doubting that they’re well written!). but i looked into the plot a while ago and the time travelling aspect just completely turned me off of it. i’m really not into stuff like that >.< also,,, none of the characters piqued my interest except for maybe that dude with the neck tattoo??? and like black n blonde hair??? i dunno, but i kinda resolved that it probably isn’t for me :(

[chocopotts]

Plankton movie spoilers ahead uhhh yeah. Movie doesn’t “release” until next year, but leaks are kinda like Pandora’s box. I’ll probably rewatch it when it comes out so no harm no foul??? (I am morally wrong sorry I’m not a saint)

Just a reminder, please watch the movie when it releases. Idc if you watch it now, but big companies aren’t just executives and millionaires. They’re also animators, musicians, writers, and other people whose jobs are at stake almost constantly. As artists ourselves we need to support each other Yknow?

Anyways…

I LOVED IT SO SO MUCH ITS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE SANDY MOVIE OH MY GOD

Also no screenshots but I might make some doodles later (spoiled obviously I don’t wanna ruin this for no one)

I always thought it was weird how mean plankton was to Karen in the show, and the entire movie is just him trying to get back with his wife after she’s finally had enough and goes through with her own evil plan (WHICH WAS COMPLETELY FOOLPROOF SHE WOULDVE DESTROYED EVERYTHING)

This is really just Karen’s movie tbh. She’s fun, expressive, and the whole thing pretty much focuses on her

The animation shifts, especially during planktons childhood flashback and him realizing how abusive he was, were absolutely beautiful. There was a lot of heart put into them as well as the story

There were a couple scenes that dragged for too long, but overall great. Not a lot of flanderization of characters.

Also the music was FIRE there was a part in Karen’s that was a little choppy but I mean. It’s a leaked movie so it could change. The animation as well looked pretty good aside from the over saturation and sometimes stiffness. Some of the jokes as well actually made me giggle.

Overall it’s just a really good SpongeBob movie. Maybe not on the same level as the first two, but DEFINITELY above Sandy’s and maybe even the third movie

[sister-shoujo]

So I just read Blue Flag and oh my god was I sent down a roller coaster and it left even questioning myself. Anyways before I get started I’m going to spoil a lot so if you don’t want to see that don’t look at the following post.

The story takes you through a lot of twists and turns. Sometimes you start off hating character that you actually love on the end and maybe bias versa. Everyone in the story has a lot depth and all of the characters get some sort of back story or make statements that have the reader understand why they act the ways they do. I know it’s not new for characters in anime to have a sob story of some kind but they all felt more relatable and realistic. Some people dealt with bullying, others were battling inner demons, some peoples parents passed away from accidents, etc.. Each story was different and all of them weren’t super extreme. Of course that’s not to say that people in the real world don’t go through extreme shit we all do. However anime sometimes can overdo those making the story seem redundant or maybe less interesting because it’s to much like the others.

Spoilers ahead!!

I truly adored Taichi and Futaba’s relationship. They were so adorable and I really liked the fact that throughout there relationship they had to learn to set boundaries not just with others but between themselves. Especially because both of them are pretty passive when it comes to being firm. Futaba being able to share her feelings about how she didn’t like Mami hanging around Taichi openly was just amazing for her entire character. Futaba is one who is always super clumsy and shy so she always felt the need to apologize. She stumbles on her words a lot also and just comes off as a not super confident person. So I loved that she felt comfortable enough to do it later on.

I loved them. I loved their friendship. I loved their dynamic. I love both of them as people. I just love them.

But what I didn’t fuck with was after Toma’s confession when everybody lowkey turned on Taichi. Everybody was making things weird for them. Don’t even get me started when Toma walked into the locker room and someone with no filter or home training felt the need to call Toma a pervert for walking into the mf locker room because Taichi was changing for gym like everybody else in there.

I think that’s the reason why I was able to live with not seeing Tom’s at the end of the book with Taichi. We had already seen Tina’s feelings so much that in those last moments it was showing how important Taichi’s feelings were as well. Toma liking Taichi doesn’t make Toma. bad person and Taichi letting down Tina doesn’t make Taichi a bad person. However the kids around school siding with Toma was making Tomas feelings seem more important. For instance, when those girls were telling Toma that Taichi was some sort of bad guy for not reciprocating romantic interest. Just pissed me tf off.

But besides all of that I loved there ending and I didn’t feel like it was rushed.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live with the fact that there was never a confession. I thought there was going to be one at the end of the book because of how Futaba was saying Masumi was special to her. I just loved them so much and thought they deserved way better. I know Futaba looked happy in the end but Masumi just looked enjoyed by her husband.

Even though Masumi’s husband resembles Futaba so much she didn’t smile or show any sort of emotion towards him until that last single panel. So that makes me question did she really get true happiness at the end like the other… But who knows maybe there was something else the author was going towards that I didn’t understand.

But anyway that’s all for now…

[car-sounds]

The Letter

Mammon x (GN)reader

2nd person

2147 words

Summary: The aftermath of the chat "Listen Up" MC goes to make up for Mammon's misunderstanding

(In case you haven't read the chat)

(sorry for having to scroll past the whole chat)

“Levi, did I not tell you to get Mammon, dinners ready” Lucifer called out as he set up the dining table

“I did tell him, he said he was busy and to eat without him” 

“Busy, yeah right. I’m sure this is just about his little misconceptions” Asmo said while giggling. You turn to Asmo confused 

“Yeah he’s embarrassed he mistook the letter you delivered to him for a love letter. He was so confident about it too, didn’t even think to check before bragging. Almost makes me feel sorry for him” 

Lucifer sat down and signed “He should really learn to not get ahead of himself” You let out a shocked expression “Oh, I feel bad for him. You guys can start without me. I’m going to clear things up with Mammon” 

You make your way to Mammons room and knocked on the door

“...”

“Come on I know you’re in there” due to the lack of reply you decide to start banging on the door in hope of a response

"Calm down, if you want to come into my room this badly I guess I'll allow it"

Mammon finally lets you in and you quickly start explaining yourself “I’m sorry about Lucifer’s letter, I didn’t think you would get that impression”

He attempts to retain his composure and defend himself “What are you talking about, ya really thought I would think it’s a love letter… or something”

“Oh, really? Levi told me-”

“WHAT!? You seriously believe him over me”

“He showed me the conversation and sent me screenshots too”

His eyes started to wander to everywhere but yours own “ Wha- I- he - how do ya know that was me!?”

“Just let me make it up to you, alright” Mammon responds to you with a scoff “Getting to hang out with me sounds like I'm doing you a favour" 

“Yeah, yeah. Get ready I’m taking you out on a date” The last bit said with a teasing tone.

“Be ready by 8, don’t be late”

“Ugh, fine. You’re paying though” and with that you left.

As soon as you’re out of sight he can no longer hold back his giddy grin, a grin that stayed on his face the entire time he was getting ready only stopping to try and settle his now burning up face. His door soon burst open “So, have you decided where we’re going yet?”

“Oh, uh I don't know, wanna go to Majolish to check out the new clothes”

“Sounds good, let’s go!” you grab Mammons arm and start dragging him out the door, once you get past the gates you loosen your grip, allowing him to take the lead. 

Mammon's residual embarrassment with the results of his premature bragging and the fact that he’s holding your hand right now is what’s responsible for him being unusually silent. With him refusing to hold a conversation with you, the only thing breaking the silence throughout most of the walk is your little giggles directed at his obviously flustered face, giggles that make his hand tense up and pout more prominent. 

Once you can see Majolish in the distance you finally speak up.

“So, you ready for me to spoil you to your heart's content, my lovely date~”

“Better get your wallet ready don’t think I’m gonna take pity on ya”

“I said I was going to spoil you, don’t you go thinking I’ll go back on my promise” You speed up so you can open the door for him, bowing as he walks through as if he was royalty. 

“Good on ya, finally treating me with the respect ‘The Great Mammon’ deserves” with this sentence and confident stride to the clothing racks you think he had finally gotten over his original awkwardness. 

You follow him watching him shop, since he was unaware of your close presence when he finally turns around he jumps almost falling into the racks 

“!!!Aren’t you gonna shop for yourself?”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but maybe I’ll find something”

"It's weird with ya just following me around this whole time"

“Oh, sorry I'll leave you be for now" you start to walk off, Mammon grabs them by the arm and pulls them in close. "No, stay by me..." Mammon lets go MCs arm and backs away a little "It's just... I wouldn't want you to get lost or something. Lucifer would kill me" The awkwardness returned for a few uncomfortably long seconds before Mammon turned to continue shuffling through clothes. After a while of searching he lets out a sigh 

“So far nothing has caught my eye”

“Oh, do you wanna go to any other stores”

“No, I’m starting to get pretty hungry. Wanna pick up some food”

“Sure, I’m surprised you didn’t buy anything. I guess that’s lucky for my wallet” 

"Yeah, yeah…lucky you, don’t think I’m taking pity on ya or something”

"Got it, any place you wanna eat?”

“Yeah, I heard Beel talking about a new menu item from the bakery a few blocks from here, wanna check that out”

“Sure, let’s go” 

As two of you make your way to the shop you take the opportunity to question Mammon a little 

“So, nothing caught your eye earlier”

“Yeah, like I said before”

“I’m still just a little shocked that you had the opportunity to basically bankrupt me and didn’t take it” 

“I don’t see why you're complaining, if anything you should be on your hands and knees thanking me for my generosity”

“Thank you oh great Mammon. I shall forever be indebted to you” you say with the most dramatic voice and hand movements you can pull off

“Shaddup, we’re here now so you can stop pushing my buttons” you let Mammon pick out a couple things before he tells you “Just so you know all this your buying and don’t go thinking I’m going to share” 

“Of course, go wild” just like before even though you said he could get as much as you could afford the order was relatively modest. 

“So, what are you getting?”

“Oh, uh I already ate a little before we left, so I wasn’t planning on getting something”

“Suit yourself, I guess” once you get your order the two of you decide to head to a nearby park so you both can end this date on a more relaxing note. The park is pretty much empty so finding a bench to sit on wasn't difficult. 

“Which one was the item Beel was talking about?”

“This one right there. What? Are you regretting not getting anything for yourself? You better not start begging for me to share or anything like that because it’s not going to happen"

"I know, I know, I won't”

"Good” You sit and watch as he starts to chow down on his food "Wow, this is really good...AH!!!... have you been just staring at me this entire time!? God, don't you have something better to do other than stare at me? But... anyways this tastes pretty good, and since I'm feeling extra generous today I'm willing to offer ya some... I mean maybe that will even get ya to stop staring at me”

"Didn’t you say you weren't going to share?”

“Here I thought you would appreciate my generosity. It feels weird having you sitting with an empty plate, while I have all this food. So... just take my offer while it's still up for grabs"

“And yet you keep insisting that you haven’t been taking pity on me”

“I told ya I wasn’t, the only reason I’ve been taking it easy on ya is because I don’t wanna face Lucifer's punishments if I did. Nothing more, get that through your head”

“Okay, if that’s what you want to keep telling yourself”

Mammon's expression softens a bit before he goes to hand you one of his cookies. 

“I heard this one was good…So ya like it”

You nod “Thanks for sharing with me!”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever”

Both of you enjoy your treats together, Mammon finally loosens up a little and starts to drop his tsundere-like tendencies, making for a pleasant conversation. You hardly notice how late it’s been getting, once Mammon releases what time it is he appears both shocked and concerned “We should probably head back, but ya better be careful if Lucifer found out how long I kept you out he would kill me”

You two grab all your things and throw out all your trash before heading home. On the way back Mammon catches you shivering “Are ya getting cold?” 

“I’m fine” 

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get sick because of this... y'know the others would kill me if that happened to you under my watch. So just take my jacket, ok"

“Says the man “not spoiling me””

He rolls his eyes pretending to be annoyed by your comment, while taking his jacket off and putting it over your shoulders.

“Thank you, Mammon~” you lean into him and hold his hand and try to continue walking.

“HUH, WHAT?!”

“Oh, do you not want me holding your hand? Sorry” You back off and give him a light hearted chuckle.

He fidgets with his hand for a few seconds before answering “It’s just I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea”

"The wrong idea? Guess my intentions weren't clear enough"

"No... I knew those were your intentions... I mean why wouldn't you wanna go on a date with The Great Mammon"

"Oh, then what did you mean by wrong intentions?"

“Would ya stop questioning me,” Now he’s the one going to hold your hand “"If you really wanna okay, maybe this will help warm you up too" with those last few words he softens his tone of voice.

The two of them continue walking and chatting about the rest of the House of Lamentation’s recent antics. As you get closer to your door the chatting fizzles out. Once you’re standing outside of your room Mammon breaks that silence "Um, I guess good night"

You enter your room and turn around leaning on the door frame "You can hang out with my room if you want"

"HAHA, knew you wouldn't be able to part ways with me just yet!"

As soon as he finishes his sentence you glare at him while moving to shut your door in his face.

"HEY, MC I was just joking let me in"

You decide to take pity on him, open the door back pulling him inside while laughing.

"You always act so cocky" you tell him while ruffling his hair.

"HEY, quit it"

You continue to pull him around until you're both sitting side by side on the couch.

“So, did you have fun today?”

"I guess, too bad I couldn’t find anything good on sale"

“Couldn’t find anything good, yeah right. You just care too much about me to spend all my money, isn’t that right”

“WHAT!? Ya really thing The Great Mammon, avatar of greed would care about some lowly human”

“Ok, ok sure you “hate” me I totally believe you. But still I’m glad you had fun! I hope it makes up for the letter"

"You didn't have to make up for that, it's not like I cared or anything but hey thanks for the free food"

"While fine if you don't think it's necessary than I won't be giving your apology gift"

"GIFT? Is it something expensive? I was hurt by the letter I swear! Take pity on me"

"Don't worry it's not worth anything. You decided to stay in my room, anything you want to do to pass the time” 

���Nooo, I wanna see the gift. Please”

"Sure, since you asked so nicely" you tease, placing an envelope on his lap.

“Money!?”

You playfully scold him, lightly slapping his shoulder "I already told you that's not what it is. Don't get your hopes up" 

“Ok I promise won't get my hopes up. Can I open it now?"

You smile and nod. Mammon opens the envelope and pulls out a folded up letter. He stays silent while reading, once he's done he leans into you and presses his face into your side. It was your handwritten letter

"I told ya I didn't think it was a love letter. So, you're really going to believe Levi over The Great Mammon"

"I guess if you don't want it then I'll just take this off your hands"

He folds up the letter and shoves it in his pocket "no"

“Love you, Mammon”

"Ya better mean it"

"I do"

"Good… I love ya too" He lifts his head up to face you stares into your eyes for a few seconds before leaning in for a kiss "um... if it's not too much to ask... can ya write me some more of those letters?"

You giggle, pressing a kiss into his cheek "Anything for you"

Masterlist

[littlemisstfc]

EARTHSPARK IS SO GOOD, YOU GUYS. OH MY FUCKING GOD. 😩

Hello boyos, gorls, and nonbinary pals. It’s been a while since I’ve written a huge writing on this silly platform, huh? Lol.

Anyways, quick updates: I’m releasing a new video sometime this month, which is me ranting about the misogyny of the Bayverse. Fun times. Fun times. :D Also, I’ll be at TFCon LA 2023 next week for Saturday and Sunday. Feel free to come by and say hi to me. :)

Back to the review…so….the 2010s to early 2020s has been a very weird decade for Transformers. Not only for the Bayverse movies (my beloathed), but for the tv shows. While Age of Extinction is my guilty pleasure and Dark of The Moon is legitimately good, the movies are declining in popularity and quality, thus resulting in a huge reboot to fix up Bay’s mess. That resulted in Bumblebee (2018), a gem that was the light at the end of a very frustrating tunnel. Transformers Prime started strong, but then turned into a mish mash of wasted potential and became a frustrating chore to watch by the end. RID 2015 is a show that exists. Rescue Bots is great, and Academy is fine for what it is. If you read my review of BotBots before the accidental deletion, that show is pretty good. However, it’s a show where someone might gotta have to take it or leave it. In the middle of the downward spiral of the Aligned continuity and the movie universe rebuilding itself from Bayverse’s mess, Transformers Cyberverse is the true outlier. It’s so great I made an entire video about it that you can check it out in the link below. 🤭

Now, I wanted to bring this up when talking about Earthspark because ngl, I was worried about the potential likelihood of the show falling into the pittraps of the Aligned continuity in the first round. Now that I’ve watched the show, I can confidently tell you that IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN I EXPECTED. WE HAVE A FUCKING MIRACLE AT THE END OF A TURBULENT DECADE.

This show is thankfully so much amazing and cool and wholesome, JUST LIKE IT HAS NO RIGHT IN BEING THIS GOOD. True, like I always say, there is no such thing as a perfect show. This show definitely have flaws, but they’re not detriment to the show’s quality. It’s basically everything I ever want from a Transformers show, including even subversions of the Transformers formula like Cyberverse.

Let’s go on this little journey together on everything I like and dislike about the show. Spoiler warning here since this show is best experienced blind and I’m not like some people who decided it’s a good idea to not put spoilers behind a tag or filter. Don’t be like these people. Don’t spoil the show for those who cannot access it. Don’t do it. 🙂

Anyways. 3, 2, 1, Pingu.

The Good, The Bad, The Skullcruncher:

Let’s get the elephant in the room clear: the art style is…an art style that exists. It’s not for everyone and it did take me a while to warm up to it. However, over time, I’ve gotten used to it since the amazing animation and fight choreography are great enough to make up for the art style.

The school episode is meh. It’s nothing interesting of note except the Terran parts and frankly, I find the two bullies pretty annoying. However, it does deserve points for having the amazing Daran Norris back in a Transformers show. At least it is not boring, but it’s not worth noting.

The humor sometimes doesn’t land, especially since modern humor such as the iPad environment we’re in is a delicate line these days. The humor is Yeessss tier most of the time though.

I’m glad that Hashtag didn’t keep her weird accent when she first appeared. That’s a plus. 👍🏽

Bee did come across as a bit of an asshole at first, which was admittingly something I wasn’t vibing with. However, thanks to the power of good character development, I warmed up to him. However, a counterpoint is that it’s a unique subversion of how Bee is introduced from other Transformers media.

I have no idea how to feel about Mandroid. It feels like he really doesn’t have much of a significant impact on the story, since GHOST are the main antagonist and the Decepticons being more of a morally gray chaotic neutral type characters. After the end of the first part, I only have questions of where the hell is he. It’s such a shame, since he has a lot of interesting potential and he has a banger voice actor behind him. At least he came back in the finale episode for reasons I’ll get to in the positives section of this review.

Anyways…yeah, that’s all I have to talk about in terms of critiques. Let’s move onto the good stuff: EVERYTHING ELSE. 🥳

A Night of a Thousand Bumblebees:

This show gets points for referencing the Optimist Prime and Negatron meme.

The main characters are just so charming and lovable, I WILL PROTECT THEM WITH MY LIFE. The Malto family is the main human characters done right. Dot is such a badass with such an enduring friendship with Megatron, along with being a loving mom and best wife to Alex. She’s also really great disability representation, showing that even with the prosthetic leg, she’s still a badass. Speaking of Alex…this man has no right in being such a lovable dork who loves his family and having so much swag. I want that Bumblebee suit. Mo and Robbie are very likable and adorable, especially regarding to their relationship with their Terran siblings. Speaking of the Terrans, they’re just utter darlings and a joy to watch. Twitch is hyperactive and cute, Thrash has a lot of funny moments and a likable personality, Hashtag is surprisingly enjoyable considering her powers of the Internet, I would die for Jawbreaker, AND NIGHTSHADE IS THE AUTISM CREATURE. I fucking love them, not only for being already being great nonbinary representation but also has a lot of relatable quirks such as their mechanic hyperfixation and their difficulty in having social interactions with other people. And…THE SCENE WHERE THEY SAY THEY ARE THEY/THEM HAD ME SOBBING SO HARD. It’s just amazing to see the franchise that helped me out so much throughout my life validate my existence and the existence of so many others like me. ✨😭✨

LOOK AT FLUFFY EARS. SHE’S SO ADORABLE. 🥺

ELITA IS MY PINK WIFE. I FUCKING LOVE HER. SHE CAN TOP ME. ✨😩✨

Bumblebee took a while for me to warmed up to him, but he eventually becomes the Bubblewrap we all know and love. Also, his relationship with Breakdown, although brief, is so wholesome. 🥺

Other things I love is the voice acting, including the welcomed returns of Transformers alumni such as Steven Blum and Roger Craig Smith, the animation is beautiful, the fight scenes are bonkers and well choreographed, the humor is yeesss tier, and overall, the messages such as having a good relationship with your family and good teamwork. Delicious food. ✨

I really love what this show is doing with Megatron and Optimus. Their relationship is perhaps my favorite part of the show. You can definitely feel not only how close they are as fwiends, but you can see both sides of the idea they represent: what if every bot deserve second chances? I appreciate the nuance to the Autobot vs Decepticon conflict, something that is definitely built up from Cyberverse. Here, it explores in depth about the more gray and complex areas of the conflict, where neither side is right nor wrong. However, it’s a reasonable two sides of a coin story that is explained well enough to appeal to both kids and adults. I also like how Megatron and Optimus are willing to hear each other out even through their disagreements. Optimus is also very likable and adorable, being a big ol dork you cannot help but be charmed by. Now…let’s focus on Megatron now.

I thought “Decay” was my favorite episode for exploring Optimus’ and Megatron’s relationship in depth, and bitter divorce ex Soundwave…until “Warzone” came out. This Megatron manages to fix the main issue of Autobot Megatron: it makes sure that he has to work hard to earn trust in his journey of redemption. He is someone with a lot of regrets over how much destruction and devastation done to Cybertron, because of his actions. It doesn’t sugarcoat the realities of his redemption: there are people who are not gonna accept that he wants to end the war nor understand how much the war costed the Cybertronian people everything. The cherry on top of his lessons to the baby boo boos about not repeating the same mistakes the Transformers did is the presence of the flowers from the IDW. Quick summary: they represent how much lives are lost in a conflict. Just…the way it fell from the monument at the Spacebridge Memorial to Megatron gently picking it up and putting it back on it, symbolizing how much he truly changed for the better. After the fight with Shockwave, including all the heartbreaking LAYERS of the gravity of Megatron’s redemption, it concludes on a beautiful message that many people came learn from, especially in these current times. you cannot change the past, but if we learn about it, we will be able to not make those same mistakes ever again. Thus, “Warzone” is my favorite episode in the entire season. In fact, I want to dedicate an entire essay to how this series portrayed Megatron once everything is done and finished. We’ll come back to the topic soon, lads.

Also, I really love how the show is exploring the not so bright side of having bots on planet Earth. The finale episode is perhaps the episode that rivals “Warzone” for not only bringing more amazing nonbinary representation in the form of Sam (looking forward to seeing her and their relationship with Nightshade in future episodes), but for managing to tell a story of how to deal with racism (through the Terrans being treated as outsiders in the big city) without sugarcoating it and telling it in a way that kids can understand. Hashtag feels the most pain in being treated as an outsider, even with her family there to tell her that everything will be okay. Then…perhaps one of the darkest scenes of Transformers as a whole is when Mandroid took over her as an attempt to get rid of the baby boo bops and try to get Bumblebee’s parts, and feeds into her insecurities over whether or not she has the right to live on Earth. Through the use of mind tricks, he is a representation of all the disgusting ignorance and stupidity plaguing our real world right now, trying to “prove” that marginalized people, who are represented by the Terrans here, have no right to exist. However…then the Malto kids used the power of the Green Prime to reach out to Hashtag and let her know that everything will be okay. True, not everybody is going to be compassionate and understanding of people who are different from them. There are genuinely evil and hateful people who will never be negotiated with and will never understand the concept of being a decent human being. However…it doesn’t mean that you should let them get to you. You deserve the right to be yourself and live your life the way you want to live it. You are surrounded by people who love you and understand what you’re going through. You are not alone. You are good enough. In a time where we experience such amount of racism, misogyny, and homophobia in places in and out of the Transformers fandom…we need this message more than ever. We should not follow Mandroid’s hateful ideology. Instead, we should be the Maltos. Love will triumph over hate, and no matter how much the world tries to crush you, you are more than meets the eye in beautiful ways.

Conclusion: This is number three on the Transformers ranking list as of the time I am writing this. 💕

Transformers Earthspark is incredible. It has no right in getting everything so right. It’s a fantastic love letter to the Transformers franchise as a whole. Let the haters talk smack. I am confident in saying that this show is the ever rare Ultra Yesss tier 10/10.

Please check it out if you have accessibility to the show on any platform. I promise that you’ll not regret this fantastic start of a promising new future for Transformers. ❤️

[quillyfied]

Hellaverse Theories: Helluva Boss S2E4

Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! Now, folks, I’m a gentle soul. I prefer comedies and romances to drama and angst. But. Every so often. Every now and then. I get a dark hunger for some whump (followed by comfort but lol this episode does not provide that service). And this episode? DELIVERS. HURT THE BELOVED BIRD MAN. HUMBLE HIM. WHEEEEE!

Anyway. S2E4 WESTERN ENERGY HERE WE COME.

“Where the poor pour for you” good GRIEF okay. Also I didn’t know imps came that tiny. Someone help them. And build a Zootopia-esque tiny town for them, if they don’t already have that.

I see divorce settlement negotiations are going well :P It’s so funny to see Stolas being openly petty and bitchy to Stella when Via isn’t caught in the immediate crossfire, because we see through flashbacks (so far) that he really, really didn’t talk back or question her much during their marriage (not never, just not much). This is “don’t you want to just go apeshit” at its most refined. And lol at Andrealphus trying to wrangle Stella; she’s many things but tame has never been one of them and if she wasn’t such an egregious abusive violent bastard it would be more impressive (and I have some Thoughts about her and places this personality trait of hers could go/mean if given proper development, but later in the episode).

Alright, Stolas’ notification that he has a meeting with Ozzie in three days. That puts a timeline on this thing that may become amended by Oops, because after what Stolas is about to go through, I’m not sure he’s able to keep that meeting; and Striker does say “had a royal on the ropes just last week,” and Fizzarolli schedules Stolas for a nooner, so maybe it did need to get rescheduled while Stolas recovered. Not for long, though; a week at most. I don’t know how long people are in the hospital for normally when they get the kind of treatment Stolas gets, but he spends three days to a week in recovery, then still has bandages by the time Full Moon rolls around (whenever it may be)—demonic resilience, even in the face of holy weapons. Also. Where the HECK does blessed rope come from?? (And on the subject of timing, Blitzo spends a week tracking his sister while Moxxie and Millie are working the camper job—does it take Stolas a full week to recover? The chronology is so tiresome to track sometimes.)

But anyway, back to Andrealphus and his stupid face and his transparent attempts at manipulation. He’s kinda bad at this when he doesn’t have any ammunition, but he IS related to Stella, so I wonder if they both compensate the lack of skillful manipulation with pure arrogance. And I do very much question if Stella is as stupid as Andrealphus clearly thinks and says she is, or if she just has different goals and motivations and isn’t inclined to share them. Reducing Stella to an empty-headed spoiled brat just feels wrong in a show (and, frankly, a universe) where nearly every character has SOME sort of hidden depths, even if they’re just hints.

Also: I notice that at this fancy tea place, it’s not just Goetians demons. I see other Hellborn there as well (the lady at the table Striker lands on looks like she’s a succubus shark with very lovely tail fins, good work on the genetic lottery, madam). Interestingly wide social strata. Also, just gonna go ahead and speculate about it here: it’s weird that every ring has localized demon strains, but Wrath’s imps and (I am assuming heavily here, since Bee is hound-shaped and also appears to be the beast tamer in Lucifer’s merry Hellish circus) Gluttony’s hellhounds are at the bottom of that heap. Succubi/incubi, sharks, baphomets, whatever Envy has (possessors, I’ve heard it said? Not in-show yet so idk but I’ll go with it for now), even sinners from Pride—why are they higher on the social ladder than imps and hellhounds? How did that come about?

Very interesting to me too that Striker is clearly not full-blooded imp (very sharky), but he identifies as an imp and also has some strong opinions on his own superiority to the rest of imp-kind. There is a parallel there to be drawn to the real world that I am unqualified to speak on and am going to back away slowly from, but it has been noticed. And it’s also noticed that Striker isn’t immune from the affliction of having deeper waters within, too. Dude has a backstory and I’d love to know it.

Striker is a damn good gunslinger, though, and that’s fun to watch.

Holy balls I finally found the frame with the higher-class demon (maybe lower-ranking Goetia? Given that she has pupils?) who has a purse imp. That is. Deeply uncomfortable, actually.

HA also found Striker’s wanted posters. “Preferably dead please” NICE

Such a change for how Blitzo answers the phone when Stolas calls this time, though. He might just be trying to keep calm and easy because Loona is so distressed, but I also like to think, given his reaction in a minute when he realizes how deep Stolas might actually be in it, that Blitzo might have cooled off slightly since Ozzie’s. They haven’t talked about their issues one jot, but time does tend to take the edge off certain wounds. Time, and having an adventure in the human world together involving their daughters, and maybe skipping a few full moons, it’s really unclear.

“What does he look like, your Highness?” “Hmm…sexy?” “That’s Striker, sir!” Never fails to make me laugh. Of COURSE that’s how they identify who’s got Stolas trussed up on the back of a horse XD Also, this episode is an important one not just for breaking everyone’s illusion about Stolas’ untouchable nature and power, but for breaking the last scrap of fantasy that Stolas is clinging to about the nature of his and Blitzo’s relationship. He isn’t taking this seriously yet, despite the blessed rope, and the fact that Stolas isn’t more worried makes me think he doesn’t know about the previous assassination attempt, because I think he’d be way more concerned if he remembered that this same guy tried to kill him with an angelic rifle. He might know. Because it would be just as in-character for Stolas to know but just shrug and move on because it’s not like anything happened, he’s fine, Striker didn’t get him and he hasn’t ever been seriously physically threatened before. This is another step in Stolas’ painful, painful growing up process. It hurts, but it’s shaping him into a demon who can maybe not just become better for Blitzo and for Octavia, but better for Hell in general. And by better, I mean more willing to look the social structure of it in the face and go “no, this sucks, actually.” Again, I don’t know that Helluva Boss proper is ever going to actually address and try to change these bigger social systems, because that’s a heavy and complicated topic, but providing fanon fodder to create those kinds of stories and fantasies for itself is not a worthless service either, actually.

And for folks who want to blame Blitzo for not coming himself, two things: one, Loona is and should be his priority and he isn’t wrong for that, especially given the suspicious difficulty in getting this necessary appointment (listen it COULD be Slothful negligence, but I think we all know there’s something a little more systemically classist, if not racist, about how it takes FIVE YEARS to get an appointment for a YEARLY SHOT that Loona NEEDS or she is vulnerable to a HORRIFIC DISEASE. If there are hellhound shelters, why aren’t there hellhound clinics with better supplies and this very important shot more readily available?). Two, Blitzo DOES start trying to get to Stolas. Look at the way he breaks the gear shift. Until Millie and Moxxie reassure Blitzo that they can handle this rescue mission, Blitzo is either gonna break the appointment to go handle it himself, or he’s gonna try to ram through this appointment as fast as possible to get to Stolas ASAP. He is trying. There’s so much going on. But Blitzo picks his priority, and he's absolutely right to do so. If Stolas and Blitzo ever discuss that, I doubt Stolas would ever blame him for it, even if he is still disappointed by Blitzo never showing up (necessary as it is to continue breaking these rosy glasses of his so he can more clearly see his reality).

It took me looking it up to finally realize that Striker has a different voice actor for this season. Dude does a good job; it’s close enough to Norman Reedus’ performance that I didn’t notice, but the deeper register does make him sound more dangerous. And sexy. Mustn’t forget sexy. I am fully in the camp that Stolas’ initial “Oh, shit” is because Striker giving off a sinister one-liner and crushing the phone is, in fact, hot. Not entirely negated by the fact that Stolas is finally being clued into the severity of his situation, either.

I genuinely have to wonder if cell phones in Hell are so cheaply replaced that you could probably get them from a vending machine, or if they have healing/regenerating capabilities somehow. That would be more interesting to get information on, actually, but it’s just a recurring gag, there will never be anything deeper there.

Blitzo checks in with MnM, but the fact that he both trusts them and can give them some quick instructions on where to start looking—he’s good at his job and he’s intelligent, okay, he’s SMART and I hope he KNOWS IT. His self-esteem might be in the toilet but I hope he at least knows how intelligent he is. And can we talk again about how Blitzo can spell out loud just fine? I thought maybe he just didn’t care to correct his texts (turned autocorrect off like a legend), but it’s his handwriting, too, that suffers from his horrendous spelling. Why is it that his writing spelling is bad but his spoken spelling is good? Continuity error? Funny bit? Actual medical reason?

Also. Why is titty-haver a recurring insult in this show? I can glean that it’s a flavor of sexism, but. Like. Never heard that one before. Why is it a go-to choice?? Just gonna file it along with “daddyfucker” and try to move on with my day, I guess.

Also, this scene is part of the reason why I spell it “Blitzo” and not “Blitz;” if Blitzo is constantly telling people the O is silent and Nurse Muffy here can’t find his name without that O at the end, then he clearly spells it with the O still (or he had to give his legal name when he made the appointment, but either way: the O is present even if it’s silent, and I’m still not going to hunt down that special character and train my devices to recognize it when we all know the O is silent, and this is the laziness molehill I’m dying on I guess). (I mean, besides, that slashed-O character is an actual character with an actual pronunciation, this is trying to use Cyrillic to spell out your edgy blog title with no regard for what the characters actually are or mean or sound like all over again XD)

I love that the “prick” comment is what causes Karen Fishbitch here to finally vocalize her displeasure instead of just throwing looks. That is so…White Middle Class Mom of her. To point out the most innocuous thing to get offended over. Ugh.

JOEL PEREZ DOES EXCELLENT IN THIS EPISODE OKAY. I didn’t realize he was the poncho-wearing singing imp AND the sleepy doctor but HE’S AMAZING OKAY.

Striker having a theme song that he has to beat off with a stick makes me giggle so hard. I feel like all this comedy is setting us up for something! Almost like it’s about to get really bad!

Cutting back to Blitzo, I love the little shows of optimism he still has now and then. He clearly offended this lady earlier, but he still tries to make conversation while they’re waiting. Just a decent thing to do. I do wanna talk briefly about the kid calling Blitzo a “fire-toad,” though, because that’s a new one. And given the very detailed shading on Blitzo’s frown, we know right away even before Karen says “it’s not polite to call them that to their face, honey” that what the kid just said was pretty offensive.

…and it DOES make me side-eye Ozzie calling Fizzarolli “Froggie,” just a little bit. It’s an adorable nickname. But if a slur for imps is fire-toad…it does give me some Questions. Might be a continuity error or just a terrible coincidence that I don’t think we’re gonna get any answers for (has this been brought up in a panel or anything?), and they’re different enough that I don’t think for a second Ozzie calls him that maliciously or even in a reclamation way. Fizz and Ozzie seem to have been together for long enough that if Fizz really didn’t like it, he wouldn’t tolerate it, so that’s what I’m gonna choose to trust for now.

“I am not from Wrath, bitch” THEN WHERE ARE YOU FROM. Pride is my guess, since that’s mostly where we see the circus, but watching this fish woman throw out racist comment after racist comment (and classist, too, get it all in there), it does make me wonder how many imps from other rings have to deal with the same exact thing. My guess is a lot. (And again begs the question that if imps are Wrath-native demons, how did they end up on the bottom of the totem pole? Especially when we now know Satan is a lava-bleeding brick shithouse with a hot voice??)

And gosh, look, homophobia from a bunch of biker cowboys now. This episode truly has it all!

(And, again, how hardy are imps?? Moxxie is stabbing that guy SO MANY TIMES in the background, good GRIEF—)

Nice to know that it isn’t just Blitzo who causes destruction everywhere he goes; all of IMP has that affliction :P

Stolas giving Striker so much sass is fun to watch, despite the classist undertones. “Your wife must really hate you.” “You have no idea” YEAH STOLAS GIVEN THAT THIS IS HIS SECOND MURDER ATTEMPT ON YOU SPECIFICALLY I THINK HE DOES KNOW. I would also really like to know where the giant statue with the unrealistically huge boner came from, actually. That’s a specific choice. I mean, all of his décor is, but Striker, why THAT??

The voice actor for Striker makes what I assume is a conscious decision with his voice when Striker snaps about how every ring can’t be some fancy city, when he talks about how some folks have everything they love taken away by royal demons. He’s angry, but there’s a note of…something…in his voice that I can’t find a word for. “Pleading” certainly isn’t it, “sad” maybe, “desperate” isn’t it but it’s in the neighborhood…I don’t know. It seems like he’s trying to get Stolas to understand Striker’s position, imps’ position in general. Which is odd given that he’s about to torture and kill him, and clearly doesn’t have any illusions about changing Stolas’ worldview in that time (or that it would even matter), but the slightly softer tone of voice is striking. Pun only a little bit intended. I don’t think that softness is for Stolas, but for his own loss. Which I want to know in all details now please yes. And even more than that, I want to know about the specific royal that fucked Striker over, and if they’re still out there. (Taking bets now that if it’s a royal we already know, it’s either Paimon, Andrealphus, or Vassago, simply because Vassago having a dark past element like that would be DELICIOUS.)

LET THE HURTING OF THE BIRD MAN BEGIN. I love that angelic steel has a sizzle to it when touching Stolas; really adds to the torture.

“All you royals ever do is try to talk over us!” Also specific and I don’t think to this particular situation. Striker doesn’t care that Stolas isn’t the one who fucked him over (presumably); Stolas being part of the class of demons that caused him so much hurt is enough. And this show is violent, but there’s something visceral about watching torture as opposed to Millie tearing through an entire crowd of sharks, something that hits different when watching Stolas’ blood spatter as Striker stomps on his stab wound. Stolas keeping up his fighting spirit and not begging or weeping is…complex, actually. Begging and weeping is a normal reaction, but one that audiences generally tend to read as weak (which is lame given that that’s how most of us would react tbh but we are talking about fiction I suppose), and since Stolas is meant to be a sympathetic character to us, it makes sense to skip that reaction for him. However. HOWEVER. There’s also context for why Stolas doesn’t react to physical pain in the way that Striker clearly wants him to.

The fact that he BARELY FLINCHES when he gets his FUCKING LEG SNAPPED? Hot, but also, “Blitzo handles me rougher than that in bed” I genuinely cannot tell if that’s taunting, or if he’s serious. It would not surprise me if he was serious, especially if higher-ranking demons have a healing factor (and I genuinely don’t remember if that’s fanon or canon, but the fact that Stolas and Blitzo both are surprised that Stolas can get hurt like this indicates to me that even if we don’t see a Goetia or a Sin instantly healing from a cut or anything that isn’t delivered by angelic steel, it’s a pretty solid theory to stand on). Then the stabbing into the broken leg, and “Blitzy’s knife is bigger, and hits so much deeper.” Again…making Striker angry on so many fronts and I respect the hell out of it: sexual overtones that will shortly be more explicitly shown to freak Striker out, lack of reaction to pain that Striker wants but isn’t getting, dismissing Striker entirely (and especially in favor of Blitzo, whom Striker has a little bit of a muddled past with)—this is a strong fucking reaction to torture that I fully believe only comes from prior conditioning. Now. Whether that means Stolas and Blitzo are into some very hardcore kink, Stolas is used to pain from other sources (Stella being the prime candidate), or some mixture of both…the implications of seeing a pampered prince not break under this kind of physical pressure are damn impressive for his character makeup and future arc. Physical pain is nothing to Stolas. Emotional pain, though…phew. He is not built for it. Which Striker attempts to hammer at too, starting with demeaning him, but Stolas is able to irritate him enough to buy himself some time. There’s the tear, which I believe is concession to the physical pain as well as the high emotions he’s operating under, but first round complete. Stolas is somehow holding his own despite being in a very bad place.

I also gotta question “you won’t be worth more than the tombstone you’ll be buried under” being met with “Blitzy says far dirtier things to me with much sharper objects at my throat.” Which. We don’t know if anything Stolas is saying is true (it might be), but Blitzo engaging in degradation/humiliation of that caliber and higher in bed begs some questions about Stolas’ social awareness. Questions that I’m content to let rest for now and see what the rest of season 2 brings, actually. I’ve already talked at length about how Stolas has his own internalized classism and racism that he needs to address, both for himself and for his relationship with Blitzo, so I’ll let it lie for now.

Still amazed that the same guy who voices Valentino of all bitches also voices this adorable sleepy little goat man doctor. THE RANGE. IT IS IMPRESSIVE.

Finally pausing to get a good look at Andrealphus’ Elsa Palace and…it really looks like it’s in a remote location of Pride, looking at the harsh landscape. I suppose Andrealphus just had to…Let It Go when he had this place built? :P (Let’s be real it was probably gifted to him.) Andrealphus’ existence as Stella’s brother raises SO MANY MORE questions for me, too. For a start, they’re two different birds, which I guess is okay since Paimon isn’t a bird at all and still produced Stolas (and Via is an owl rather than a swan, despite having some similar features). For another, Andrealphus has no pupils, like Stolas, and I wonder if the presence of pupils in a Goetia means something. Paimon had them, but he also has a malleable form. Stella has them, as does Octavia, but in the s2.5 trailer when we get shots of other non-bird Goetia members as well as Vassago, none of them have pupils, just solid red eyes like Stolas. In the book the Ars Goetia, Andrealphus is a marquis, ranked lower than Stolas (who is a prince); we can also assume Andrealphus is lower-ranked than Stolas because of Andrealphus listing off all of Stolas’ assets that they (he) would lose access to if Stolas were to be killed (rather than, say, stripped of and given somewhere else, since Via clearly isn’t ready to take her father’s place yet). Andrealphus having a very obvious and physical ability, though—that feels important, especially since Stella shows no such capacity.

Out of lack of ability…or lack of training? The Goetia being patriarchal is a huge possibility, though it hasn’t been outright stated yet (and it could just be coincidence based on the fact that there are way more male characters in the Hellaverse for some reason).

I love that they were just at a fancy tea place, and here Stella and Andrealphus are, drinking MORE TEA at his palace.

I’m gonna say this about Andrealphus’ treatment of Stella: while he does have absolutely flaming (icing??) homosexual energy…the things he says and the way he says them to Stella does come off as very uncomfortably close to incestuous. The more I think on it, the more I wonder if it’s Andrealphus mimicking an older family member or friend who treated Stella in a similar way to assuage her ego and keep her in line, since her temper has clearly been a problem since she was a child. “Silly minx,” “fiery vixen,” tipping her chin with a finger MULTIPLE times—absolutely YIKES behavior, especially from a clearly slimy and manipulative older brother. I suppose they could be adopted, or half-siblings, or even just with a significant age gap; we don’t know how old Andrealphus is compared to Stella. But even if his mannerisms towards her aren’t meant to imply something THAT gross, they’re still horrifically infantilizing and belittling. I don’t want to live in a world where Andrealphus is bringing a sexual element into interactions with his sister, so I will henceforth try to ignore it, but I won’t lie to you folks and say I don’t feel the discomfort or feel the vibe. (Also seems problematic to me to have a big brother character with gay-coded flamboyance also have incestuous tendencies, but the incest might be completely unintentional and just how it unfortunately came out looking. Maybe they’ll fix that in the future. Or maybe they won’t.)

Now, about Stella: she doesn’t seem afraid of Andrealphus, in fact bringing him up to Stolas as someone whose words she takes seriously. She listens to him, is guided by him, but there are some tiny hints and clues that suggest to me that Andrealphus is pretty good at corralling her, if he can’t contain her entirely. He’s fawning over her, gentle and indirect with his wording as he tries to guide Stella into a less rash course of action, until she seems to miss his point completely and then he snaps at her. Now. Does Stella actually miss his point? Or does she just not care? It seems even Andrealphus is taken aback by his own realization that Stolas’ stuff will all pass to Via. And it does not escape my notice that he calls her Via, not Octavia. Stella is unaffected by this assertion, happily living in her dream land where she doesn’t have to deal with Stolas anymore (and therefore gets to be a sexy widow and not a sexy divorcee, which might have a better social reflecting on her anyway, especially if she’s possibly going to get put back on the marriage market or even just search for a more suitable partner herself). She doesn’t care that Via will get all of his stuff. Does this mean she’s stupid and just didn’t realize it? I don’t think so. I think she’s secure in her knowledge that Via inheriting won’t budge her equilibrium. I don’t think Stella WANTS Stolas’ responsibilities and legions and powers. Andrealphus might, but Stella doesn’t. She likes to swan (lol) around being rich and pretty and throwing parties and not having an unsightly blight on her reputation like a boring husband who cheated on her with an imp and then divorced her.

Now. Andrealphus neglects to do something in this conversation that I find fascinating and may be more deeply indicative of how Stella feels about her daughter. At no point does Andrealphus admit the possibility of either manipulating/controlling Via once she gets Stolas’ position, or killing Via and inheriting that way. I don’t think this is because ANDREALPHUS gives two shits about his niece. I think it’s because STELLA might have one or two shits to give about her daughter—and Stella giving shits about something usually means screeching violence from her when threatened or insulted. I may be proved wrong in the upcoming episodes, but I think that with every horrible wretched action and word out of Stella’s mouth, it is suitably complex of her to still care in some capacity about Octavia. We DO NOT KNOW what their relationship is like, if Stella is neglectful or pushy or kind or cruel. We DO know Octavia cares about her mother, cares that Stolas doesn’t love Stella and is taking more time to fight back against her (though Via probably doesn’t see it as fighting back, just plain fighting, because I don’t think she fully understands how terrible Stella has been to him). Andrealphus not suggesting anything untoward happening to Via hints to me that he knows that would not be a productive route to take when trying to talk to Stella.

And Stella is the product of her upbringing just like Stolas: she’s been told all her life that she’s attractive and that’s her most useful quality, that she’s rich and that makes her better than everyone else, that her prettiness and richness are valuable, and hey maybe she’s stupid but at least she’s hot! Her temper is violent, and the fact that she goes to murder as a solution rather than trying to take him for everything he has in the divorce says something about her, too. If Via gets all of Stolas’ things, Stella is still going to be taken care of; she clearly expects her daughter to continue to care for her and maintain her, and if Via can’t or won’t, Andrealphus will. Wanting Stolas dead is about her pride, because how DARE he also be stuck in this boring as fuck and unhappy marriage and then try to get out of it? There is so much about Stella’s behavior that could hint at the ways she was belittled and molded into a seriously unhealthy shape by outside forces. It was her arranged marriage, too, it was her life decided for her from childhood too, it was her utility to produce an heir too. This doesn’t excuse her abuse, but guess what, abusers are also people and have complex motivations and often dark and hurtful pasts and those are important to examine too. Not because Stella’s actions aren’t her fault, but because when you have a female character in a show with a high ratio of non-female characters and she is the only living mother who gets any kind of regular screen time, you want her to have a little goddamn depth, dammit.

Exploring an abusive marriage where the wife is the abusive one is something that isn’t done enough in fiction, IMO; I don’t want apologetics for her, I want explanations. I want reasons. I want her to either be shown to be incapable of feeling conflict because of how badly she’s been screwed over and in turn has embraced her own awful behavior as a deeply maladaptive coping mechanism, or to go through some damn emotional conflict that won’t erase her mistreatment and abuse but will show that she isn’t a one-note harpy wife. Maybe she’s like this because she was made this way (and is too terrible a person to fix it which is absolutely on her but I think there’s blame to share for how she turned out this way in the first place). MAYBE I WANT STELLA TO STAB ANDREALPHUS THROUGH THE HEART WITH AN ANGELIC SPEAR WHEN HE GOES TO ATTACK STOLAS AND BLITZO LATER IN S2.5. MAYBE I WANT THAT.

ANYWAY.

“This kind of situation is extremely unique. A Goetia has never behaved like this before.” Alright I’m calling bullshit, but as I have said before, I do think the Goetia family is more than capable of covering up their scandals. Stolas being an odd duck (owl?) within his own family and thus his drama blowing up without anyone knowing it was coming because nobody bothers to check in on boring stuffy old Stolas (…still want to point out that he’s very young, especially for an immortal demon) is more likely, though.

And here we go, back to the Torturing Stolas channel, where Striker is getting tired of playing with his food and finally finds the ultimate weak point to press: Via. The fact that it makes Stolas go vengeful instead of tearful is another pillar to the STOLAS LOVES HIS DAUGHTER fact of the show. And the knife going all the way through this time makes me wonder if it’s going to have some long-term problems for him. He does have the arm bandage longer than any other bandage that we see, after all, even the broken and stabbed-up leg. I also really want to know what Stolas’ last words were trying to be. “Blitzo…will…” Blitzo will what? Come for him? Avenge him? And I love that Stolas wants his last words to be about Blitzo, not because he doesn’t love and isn’t thinking of Via, but because at this point, he’s already sworn to defend her (even if he really, really can’t), and keeping her out of the conversation is safer for her. Blitzo can handle himself. Via can’t, not against Striker. And Stolas already showed his hand by reacting so vehemently to Striker just mentioning her, so I have no doubt that if and when Striker comes back for Stolas or Blitzo in the future, Via is going to be playing some sort of role in that endeavor.

And not to drive home the point that Striker is poor AF despite being a highly successful assassin, but. Look at his flip phone. Look at the cute little charm on the flip phone. This dangerous violent man has a PHONE CHARM. What a DORK.

I also love that Stolas is so indignant at the idea of “we still need him alive to get some affairs in order.” He might just be reacting to Stella’s voice in general, now that he’s very clear that this whole thing was her doing, but. The AUDACITY of this bitch.

Who wants to bet Striker never got paid for this?

Now. The attempted eye-gouging. I’ve seen it floating around that “if you’re gonna threaten to blind a character, don’t be a coward and do it,” but. Come on. Let’s be a little practical, y’all: if they took any of Stolas’ eyes, they’d have to update the merch :P

THE FACT THAT THE IMP VAN BLASTS LA CUCARACHA. HELL YES.

Splicing the very real life-or-death battle with Striker with the still dangerous but more comedic battle of getting Loona her shot is such a good storytelling choice, actually. Cutting some of the tension while also making it that much more potent, especially as Moxxie and Millie start losing—cutting away from them right as they’re getting their asses handed to them to watch Blitzo getting HIS ass handed to him but in a less high-stakes way is maddening in the best way. Also: Striker’s face when the radio changes to something pop. Beautiful XD Damn this is a good fight scene though. Really showcases how skilled Striker is, because taking on Moxxie and Millie at the same time when they have very focused intent to kill is impressive.

…aaaaand Striker’s immediate discomfort at Moxxie’s unexpected sexual overtones wins me over again. The only sexual harassment I will allow: flustering the villain so the heroes can wreck his shit :P (Please know I am joking.) Tbh Striker has no room to talk, he is LITERALLY FUCKING DROOLING as he strangles Moxxie. This is clearly already kinda kinky for him. He just doesn’t want Moxxie to be into it (very “evil dentist from Little Shop of Horrors” of him).

I genuinely want to know how Striker keeps getting out of these situations. By all rights he should have been impaled on his own stone boner. Sigh. (And I cannot WAIT to see him come back after being burned alive; gonna be messy as HELL.)

Now here’s my question: how in the unholy heck are there so many reporters and paparazzi at the hospital already? I’m assuming Moxxie and Millie called ahead to make sure the hospital could get him taken care of ASAP as soon as they arrived, but what gossip mongers were crouched in wait for that? (Also, the doctors being plague doctor aesthetic: good stuff, very good stuff.) (IF STOLAS KEEPS CALLING THEM LITTLER ONES OR LITTLE CREATURES AFTER THIS ISNTEAD OF BY THEIR NAMES I’M RIOTING.)

And. The tail shot. And the surprise and vulnerability in Blitzo’s face and voice when he says “He can get hurt?”

BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP YOU’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT ALL THE WAYS HE CAN GET HURT IN THE NEXT HALF OF THE SEASON.

I need a minute I am WEAK.

Nooooo twinkly pretty heartbreaking tune how DARE you make this moment where Stolas’ final hope of his fantasies playing out, even just this one time, dies even more tragic. It’s so SAD, IT’S SO SAD. IT’S SO NECESSARY BUT IT’S SO SAD. Let’s make it worse: there’s a game you can play with picking flower petals off a flower and you say “they love me, they love me not.” Whichever you say at the last petal is the universe’s answer to the question of whether or not your beloved loves you. (Please keep in mind this is horseshit as far as reflecting reality goes but it’s a pretty sort of ritual to play sometimes.) Stolas is in a hospital room surrounded by so many flowers they cover the floor. A petal falls…he loves me. Stolas gets a text from Blitzo, hoping he gets “bivver swoon.” Stolas smiles. Responds with thanks, and invites Blitzo to come see him at the hospital. Blitzo types…and never responds. A petal falls as Stolas’ smile fades. He loves me not. Stolas sets his phone down. He rolls over, and another petal falls on his phone. He loves me. Stolas nestles into his hospital bed in contemplation. A fourth petal falls…he loves me not. (Though we don’t know where that petal winds up, and it’s a “he loves me” petal that lands on his phone, so maybe????)

I’m FINE.

I’m so fine that I am going to now move on to the next episode and I don’t have to wait for my misty eyes to clear AT ALL.

[silverwings22]

Song of the Sea: Chapter 21: Radiant Bride

Chapter warnings: mentions of starvation, questionable food choices, drugs, violent crime Series Warnings: explicit smut, alien anatomy (it's a monsterfucker fic, guys), major character injury, grief, canon typical violence, autistic meltdowns, and my terrible attempts at Mando'a

Previous chapter:

Next Chapter:

“You okay, Baby Mega? Gundark didn’t get you, did it?” Shiani poked her head into the girl’s room. They’d been on a pickup mission for Cid, and the drop zone had been  swarming with the creatures. 

“No, I’m okay. Are you?” Omega had Lula in her lap, looking out at the stars as they headed back to Ord Mantell. 

“Mad I couldn’t catch that little one.” Shiani laughed, climbing up to sit beside her. “Ran out of time, or I’d have had it as a snack.”

“You’d eat a gundark? Eeew!” Omega laughed. 

Shiani scooped her up in her tentacles and lifted her up in the air, giggling too as she turned her upside down. “Not ew! I’d eat anything that didn’t eat me first!”

“Really?” Omega blinked. “Even gross stuff?”

“I’ve eaten plenty of gross stuff. I lived in the trash.” Shiani shrugged. “Hunting was bad. Sometimes, you do what you have to do. But some things you think are gross turn out to be tasty.” She set Omega in her lap and cuddled her. “I wasn’t a great hunter when I lived in Acopit, but I got better when I was in exile. I had to.” 

“Is it weird to eat something you killed?” Omega looked up at her. 

“I don’t think so. There’s honor in doing it yourself, and surviving by your own power.” She booped the girl’s nose with a delicate claw. “It does taste better when you cook it though.” 

“You ate stuff raw?” Omega blinked. 

“The nearest thermal vent was two klicks into Acopit territory, and every siren on Kamino wants to kill me.” Shiani shrugged. 

Omega turned around and cuddled back. “I don’t understand why they don’t like you. You’re great.” 

Shiani nuzzled into Omega’s hair gently. “I think you’re great too. My favorite girl in the galaxy.”

Omega grinned at her. “Tech’s your favorite guy, isn’t he?”

“Tech’s my favorite everything.” Shiani giggled. 

“Would you ever marry him? Wrecker and I were watching a holo-show and some of the people in it got married.” 

Shiani pondered thoughtfully. “I never thought about it before… but yeah. If he gave me the gift, I’d accept it.”

“Gift?” Omega blinked.

Shiani laughed. “When you want to get married, you give a gift. Something you make yourself, that they wear on their chests over their hearts.” She smiled fondly. “Males are supposed to ask, though.”

“Like the armor Tech’s making for you?” Omega flopped dramatically across the siren’s lap. “I saw it on the worktable. It’s too small for any of the guys.” 

Shiani froze, eyes wide. “He’s making me armor?” Her hearts picked up with a delight that spread like warm sunlight throughout her entire body. Armor, like he and his brothers wore, marked them as a part of the squad. It was the ultimate symbol of love, to build something by hand that was so hard to make but so protective. 

“I hope I didn’t spoil the surprise.” Omega whispered. 

“I’ll still act surprised.” Shiani assured her. “Promise.”

Omega grinned and nodded. “How much longer til we land?”

“Not much longer.” Shiani nodded. “Want to come view the landing? Tech said I could do it this time.”

“Yeah!”

The two of them climbed out of the gunner’s seat and headed to the cockpit, where Tech and Echo were sitting and talking. Well, mostly Tech was talking, but Echo didn’t mind listening as he cleaned his pistol. Tech looked back and smiled faintly. “Right on time, cyar’ika.” She leaned over the back of his chair and nuzzled his face with her own, which made Echo snicker and Omega beam. Tech ignored both of them, patting the arm rest. “Come around here and take the controls.”

Shiani nodded and they swapped spots, so he was standing behind her. Echo let Omega sit in his lap to watch, watching the siren as she went through the landing processes. She was efficient with it, using tentacles to flip dials and pedals as her hands stayed steady on the controls. 

“Very good.” Tech praised as they entered the atmosphere and headed for their usual hangar spot. 

She grinned, engaging the landing gear and bringing them down gently, landing with barely a wobble. Echo smirked. “She lands better than you.”

Tech huffed. “This is a controlled environment. You have experienced my landings in a combat zone, those are not comparable.” 

Omega giggled. Shaini just smiled and reached back for Tech’s hand. He took it and pulled her out of the seat. “Come along. I have a gift for you before we step out.” 

“Gift?” Her eyes sparkled as he walked her back to the work bench, glancing over her shoulder at Omega. The girl gave her a thumbs up. 

Tech stood her in front of the work table, adjusting his goggles and turning her so she was facing away. “Hold your arms out, let me make sure it fits.”

She blinked, lifting her arms obediently. Tech dropped a chestplate over her head, with flexible vest-like shoulder pieces similar to his own. It covered her gills but sat high enough not to impede her tentacles, with extended plates that went low on her stomach and sat above her belt in the back. It latched on the sides, and was much lighter than his armor that she’d picked up once or twice. 

“I have vambraces for you as well. I considered leg cover as well, but I thought it may irritate your tentacles or be too heavy for you.” Tech adjusted the latches carefully, making sure they were secure. “Is this comfortable? I can make adjustments as needed.”

Shiani’s eyes sparkled with absolute delight as she turned around, checking the fit. “And you made this?”

“Yes. I should have made it sooner, and I apologize for waiting so long. Do you like it?” He startled when she threw herself into his arms. 

“I love it. Love you.” She grinned, nuzzling into his chest happily. “I’ll wear it on every mission, promise.”

“Good.” He smiled, hands on her hips squeezing his familiar set of three. “You can paint it as you see fit, when we have time.”

Shinani nodded with delight, touching the metal when he let her go. Holy tides and stars… he’d put the armor on her himself. All she had to do was make him a gift in return and they would be married!

“Come along, we need to get our payment from Cid.” Tech waved for her to follow him down the ramp after his brothers.

“Cid could have mentioned the gundarks.” Echo complained as soon as his boots touched the ground. 

“We made it out okay.” Wrecker grinned, scooping Omega up and setting her on his shoulder. She had a box of Mantell Mix, smiling as she tossed a couple pieces in her mouth. “How’s it this time?” He grinned

“Better than ever.” She beamed and gave him a piece. 

They headed for the Parlor, all of them immediately noticing a crowd of armored figures they didn’t recognize. Shiani tucked herself a little closer to Tech, frowning,. “Who are they?” 

“I am unsure.” He frowned, hand moving to her opposite shoulder firmly and giving her a comforting three squeezes. Wrecker carefully set Omega down and carefully put her in the middle of the formation to keep her safe. They ducked into the Parlor, finding it much more crowded than they remembered. 

“Since when is this place so popular?” Echo frowned. 

Shiani scrunched her face. “The appeal of the Parlor is it’s normally empty.” 

“Let’s just get paid and go.” Hunter sighed, heading for the office. He hated the eyes on them, especially Omega. 

Tech was thinking much the same thought about Shiani, the siren’s unique appearance catching lots of attention. She just looked annoyed by all of it, crossing her arms and tentacles tightly. She’d gained some confidence about sticking up for herself with strangers now, but stares still made her uncomfortable. An unusual looking hooded figure in a mask passed  as they approached the office door, and she lightly tugged Tech’s vambrace. “Pyke?” She murmured. Now that she was well versed in most sentient races, Tech had suggested she study common group affiliations and their symbols. 

“It appears to be.” He nodded. “That is not a good sign.”

Omega frowned. “What’s a Pyke?”

“Spice trader. They’re a very violent gang.” Shiani patted her hair gently. “Nothing for you to worry about though. They’re leaving, and Cid’s not stupid enough to make deals with Pykes.”

Omega nodded, looking over at Hunter as a guard tried to stop him from getting into the office. “Appointment only.” 

Hunter narrowed his eyes and gave Wrecker a nod. The big clone quickly seized the guard by the chest plate and threw him out of the way. Shiani leaned over and picked the office lock with her claw quickly. When they walked in, a green devaronian male with a familiar looking lizard purring in his lap came into view.

“It’s quite rude to barge into someone’s office unannounced.” He raised an eyebrow at them curiously, waving down the group of other enforcers who moved to intercept the group. 

“It isn’t your office.” Hunter frowned. 

“I beg to differ.” The man chuckled. 

Omega spotted the lizard and blinked. “Ruby? What are you doing with her?” 

“I paid Cid for her, and she delivered. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.” He scratched the creature gently with his long nails, making her roll over on her back to get her belly rubbed. 

“Where is Cid?” Shiani narrowed her eyes, head cocking to the side to examine his face. She usually tried to keep from being confrontational at the first meeting, but something was amiss and her family had just walked into it. “And who are you?” 

“Cid is out. Permanently. The Parlor and surrounding territory are mine now… you all look like competent mercenaries. Well…. Most of you.” He eyed Shiani and Omega. “If you’re looking for employment, I might have some work for you.” 

“We’ll think about it.” Hunter huffed. 

“You didn’t answer my question. Who are you?” The little siren puffed up a little, standing her ground when the devaronian got up and walked to her side of the desk.

“I am Roland Durand.” He curiously examined her. “I’ve never seen anything like you. I’m a purveyor of oddities, Miss. You would be much better paid as my assistant than whatever you make with them.” 

She narrowed her eyes. “I’m very happy with my family. Thank you.”

“Let’s just go.” Omega pulled at Shiani’s arm gently, trying to get out of the office quickly. Tech’s eyes were burning holes in Durand, and she was slightly concerned about a fight.

Shiani nodded, putting her arm around the girl. The followed the guys out of both office and Parlor, Hunter immediately shaking his head. “He’s a gangster. We’re not equipped to deal with anything like that. We need to leave Ord Mantell. Tech, get the ship ready and we’ll start supplying to leave.”

Omega frowned. “But what about Cid?”

Tech shook his head, arm firmly around Shiani’s waist now. “She was likely eliminated or forced out of the area, if Durand’s tone is anything to go by.” 

Omega looked horrified. “Would they really kill her? We need to look for her, she could be in trouble! She’s our friend.” 

“She is our employer.” Shiani shook her head. “You have a good heart, Baby Mega. But that care doesn’t go both ways.”

The girl dug her heels in. “She’s helped us. It’s only right to do the same in return.”

Hunter sighed, starting to kneel and try to explain for the millionth time why everyone wasn't their friend, when Cid's voice caught his attention from behind. “At least someone was worried about me.”

Cid was standing in the doorway of the Havoc Marauder, arms crossed. Shiani  matched her stance. “What did you do to make Durand take your Parlor?”

“We'll talk about it in private, Suckers. Come in.” 

Tech cleared his throat. “Are you inviting us onto our own ship?”

“You're catching on, Goggles.”

“Rude.” Shiani grumbled, but walked up the hatch with an extremely displeased look. 

They gathered around and Cid offered an explanation. “I see you met Roland Durand. He used to be a client of mine… he's the son of crime boss Isa Durand. I guess he's trying to make a name for himself out from under his mother's shadow, so he's making a deal with the Pykes.”

“Stupid.” Shiani shook her head. 

“Yeah. But he had enough goons to run me out of my bar.” Cid huffed.

“Why would he want a bar on Ord Mantell anyway?” Hunter raised a tattooed eyebrow. 

“Ord Mantell sits in the crossing of multiple hyperspace lanes. Ideal for smugglers, and my parlor is right in the middle of all the action.” Cid explained. “He saw the value, but I'm going to get it back.”

“And how do you intend to do that?” Echo's native sass had been mostly repressed by Cid's absolute audacity thus far, but he was finding it again. 

“You're going to help me. We're all in this together.” Cid threw her arms over Hunter and Wrecker’s shoulders. “We've been through a lot together so far, and I've done right by you boys. I'm good with secrets.”

Tech narrowed his eyes. “You are blackmailing us into compliance.”

“You catch on quick.” Cid nodded. 

Shiani bared her teeth and hissed softly, making the trandoshan take a step back and give her blue rings and split jaw an uneasy look. “Threatening people you need help from is a bad idea.” She growled. She usually didn’t let Cid 

Omega immediately got between them. “I'm sure Cid didn't mean to make that sound like a threat. She's just scared and needs help. She helped us when we needed it.” Her little hands pushed gently at Shiani's chest plate. “You're sorry, aren't you Cid?”

Cid nodded immediately. “Yeah. Sorry, Suckers. Like Tiny said, I'm just in over my head.” She tried to placate the siren. 

“We should help. She's helped us, and her Parlor is her home and livelihood.” Omega pleaded. “It's the right thing to do. How would we feel if we lost the Marauder?”

“We do not interact with gangsters.” Tech sighed, patting Shiani on the arm to get her to relax, until she covered her mouth with her hand and stared daggers at Cid. “But I see your point, as much as I disagree.”

Hunter grumbled and looked at Cid. He really couldn't afford to be on Cid's bad side, and Omega looked so adorably sure they'd make the altruistic choice. Even Shiani, who he was sure was about to bite Cid, softened a little at her big brown eyes. “Fine. What's your plan?” He sighed.

“There's an access point to the old mining tunnels that goes right under my office. My sources say Durand has a shipment of 6 cases of spice in my office right now.”

Shiani nodded. “Saw it. Big boxes.”

“We'll go into the tunnels and steal the shipment. Then when Durand can't deliver,  the Pykes will take care of him for us.” Cid tapped the holo table with a claw. 

“Why don't we just go in directly? I hate sneaking around.” Wrecker grumbled. “We could take his guards.”

“No one can know we're involved.” Cid said it too fast, and Shiani felt fear bubbling up around her like an underwater steam vent.  “The Pykes are no one you want to cross. They'll make you wish you were dead a long time before they kill you.”

Shiani sighed, drumming her claws together. “And how will you distract Durand? If he's in the office, we can't steal the spice without being seen.”

“I've got Bolo and Ketch on it.” Cid smiled. “They'll steal the lizard. He's nuts about that thing, he'll go looking for it.”

“They won't hurt Ruby, will they?” Omega fretted.

“Ruby’s got teeth and claws. She’ll be fine.” Shiani patted her head. “Don’t worry. Go get your bow.”

Omega nodded and headed to her room to get her gear, and Shiani followed Tech to the cockpit to double check the ground security protocol. He didn't like Cid getting into the ship uninvited. 

“Were you actually going to bite her?” He asked after a moment. 

“It crossed my mind.” She said firmly. “She threatened my family.”

“You are the most remarkable woman in the galaxy.” He dipped his head against hers, arms around her waist as he squeezed his little siren three times. “Loyalty means everything to clones. Yours means everything to me.”

Shiani smiled. “I’d follow you anywhere, Tech.”

He picked up his helmet and nodded. “Then let us make this quick. I have no interest in running into the Pykes.”

She followed him back out, rubbing her thumb against her chest plate. She didn't relish a fight with notorious gangsters either… but she'd follow Tech anywhere he led her.

No one was thrilled about going into a manhole, but the group followed Cid to the old mining tunnels she’d indicated. It was creepy and musty smelling inside, with a set of mining carts hanging from a cable that wound its way through the cavernous abandoned mine. Shiani investigated them curiously, then scrunched her face and looked at Tech. “Rusty.”

“They are in poor condition.” He agreed. “But given a little time, the two of us could reasonably get the motors running.”

Cid shook her head. “The motors are too loud. This is a stealth mission.”

Wrecker pouted immediately. He hated stealth missions. 

Shiani patted his arm. “Into the cart. We’ll have to work the levers.” 

He sighed. “Okay… but a fight would have been more fun.” 

“I’ll wrestle with you when we get done.”

Cid eyed the petite siren as she swung into a cart next to Tech and the two of them broke the rusty lever free. Wrecker was doing the same in the next one, Hunter and Echo working the third loose. “Doesn’t seem like your style to beat up on a little woman like Suckers, big guy.”

Wrecker laughed. “She’s a lot stronger than she looks, Cid.” 

“She wins more than 90 percent of the time.” Hunter chuckled. 

“She is strategic. And it is 92.67 percent.” Tech sounded amused too. 

Shiani smiled at the praise and started helping Tech work the lever to push them along the overhead track. The cavern was narrow here, and it reminded her of when she was first exiled, before she’d made the little cavern in the belly of the inactive volcano her home. It had been just a dark and lonely cave, only safe by comparison to an execution. That was before Tech had filled it with light and his voice, and she found her place in the galaxy beside him.  

She wasn’t alone anymore. Someone would face the dark places with her. 

They got to a large door and Cid gave them a sharp look. “Once this is open, not a peep out of any of you. You’ll wake the hive.”

“Hive?” Hunter frowned. 

“The tunnels have a little… pest infestation problem.” Cid said quickly. “But it won’t be a problem if you all keep your traps shut. That means no humming, Suckers.”

Shiani looked unimpressed. “I hum when I’m happy. Don’t see how this is a happy time.”

“We’re not scared of a few bugs.” Wrecker grinned. “Right, Shiani?” 

“The closest thing I know to bugs is a crab. I can eat those.” She shrugged. “Can I eat these bugs, Cid?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” Cid shook her head, and waved for Wrecker to come shove the door open. “Remember. Not a sound.”

Past the door, the tunnels were full of giant cobwebs. Shiani held her flashlight tightly, the only sign she was any bit uncomfortable was a tentacle wrapped around Tech’s ankle. Behind her, Wrecker was just as deeply uncomfortable at the distance between them and the bottom of the cavern, so far below he couldn’t see it even when he pointed his own flashlight downward into the dark. When it slipped from his fingers, every one of them froze and watched in silent horror as it bounced down against the webbing and went out, out of sight in a turning depression underneath them. Cid looked like she was about to crumple, shaking and staring, so Shiani lightly patted her arm. “Nothing woke up.” She whispered gently. A low, animal cry from below echoed as she spoke, but seemed to be the groan of something rolling over in its sleep.

Cid nodded and swallowed hard before giving Wrecker a murderous look. “Nice going.”

“It was an accident.” He looked a little red-faced, but it was hard to tell in the dark of the caverns. 

“Just keep moving.” Hunter grumbled, shaking his head. Tech went back to his lever, Shiani helping him. Not that he needed her help, but he liked having it. This entire adventure seemed entirely ill-advised, but having her cut down on the bickering that usually came up between his brothers… and himself, if he was honest. He and Wrecker bickered a lot. 

When they arrived up under the office, Shiani held her tentacles up like railing to make sure all the clones got out safely. Hunter sighed at the stairs going up, then looked at Cid. “He out of the office yet?”

“Ketch just commed, he’s out. Let’s go, quick.” Cid urged, pushing them up the stairs. “He won’t be gone for long.” 

The top of the staircase led to a trapdoor, which they pushed up. A rug slid off the top, and Echo made a face at the skittering of rodents out of their path. Before he could complain too much, Cid admonished him to be quiet and started counting the crates of spice to be sure they were all accounted for. Hunter gave a couple quick hand signals, and the clones set themselves in a line to start passing the crates back efficiently. Shiani and Omega remained near the bottom, the siren taking each crate and loading it into the carts while the girl tied them down as securely as she could. “What even is this stuff, Shiani?” She grumbled. “Why’s it worth so much?”

“Drugs.” Shiani set another crate down. “Illegal drugs. People pay lots of credits to get it, because they’re not supposed to have it.”

“But why do they want it?”

“Sometimes life feels so bad, people want to escape.” Shiani sighed. “Drugs make an easy escape. Can’t be sad or stressed when they’re high.” She shook her head and patted Omega’s head. “Doesn’t fix the problem though. It’s still there when you wake up.”

“How do you know so much about it?” Omega blinked at her as the siren took another crate from Wrecker.

“Sirens are not that different. When some sirens get tired of life, they suck on puffer fishes.” Shiani chuckled. “Looks stupid. Makes them act stupid, too.” 

Omega giggled and finished securing the crates as Wrecker came down with the last one. The guys looked to be in a hurry, Cid rushing them from behind. Hunter pulled a quick strap over the last crate. “Secure enough. Let’s go.”

“Durand coming back?” Shiani frowned as Tech waved her and Omega to the carts. 

Tech nodded, pulling her in and securing the door as a blaster shot rang out. “That would be him shooting the door lock.”

“Oh no. Lever time.” She grabbed ahold of her side of it and they started their way through the tunnels as quickly as they could. 

Hunter glanced back as a couple of the enforcers got into another cart behind them and got the engines working. “We’ve got company.” 

“Blasters?” Shiani reached for the pistol on her hip. Tech insisted she carry it, though she frequently forgot it was there. She was a close combat kind of girl. 

“You’ll wake the hive!” Cid hissed. 

“This hive will be inconsequential if we are shot.” Tech ducked and pushed Shiani down before she could get hit. “I do not think, even with our accuracy, we can take them out quick enough to avoid being caught.” 

Shiani blinked, peeking up. “Cover your ears!”

Hunter blinked, then activated the filters in his helmet and put his hands over Omega’s ears. 

Shiani sucked in a deep breath and leaned over the cart edge, letting out a scream that blew their pursuers off the tracks and into the caverns below. She snapped her jaw shut and looked down, watching them vanish. “Sorry Cid.”

The trandoshan shuddered as another creepy animal cry echoed from beneath them. “... I don’t like this.” 

Tech frowned. “Maybe we should activate the motors and get out of here as quickly as possible.”

“Good point.” Hunter frowned, crouching to examine the mechanism. Fortunately it wasn’t in as bad shape as they’d initially thought, and all three motors came to life after a moment. They started hurrying along the track, over where Wrecker had lost his flashlight, when a swarm of creatures came hurtling up towards them. Shiani squeaked when they started biting, tearing into her exposed head tentacles. Wrecker doubled over to protect Omega, and Cid started swearing and swatting at the monsters. 

Shiani screamed again, a group of them falling out of the sky and back into the darkness, but more just replaced them. Tech threw an arm over her to try to protect her face, throwing his flashlight up in an attempt to aim his blaster. The creatures screeched, wheeling out of the way of the light. “Use your torches!” He called over the din of screeching insects and yelling clones. It was hectic, everyone clinging for dear life to the carts to avoid being thrown over the edges with the jostling monsters and blaster shots ringing out. One by one, the crates of spice were knocked over the edge and went hurtling to the ground below. 

“The spice!” Cid wailed, watching her chance at a get rich quick scheme fade away. 

“Forget it!” Hunter snapped, the group finally making it to the manhole door. Wrecker wrenched it open and everyone darted out, letting the big clone slam it shut aggressively hard. 

Everyone collapsed to the ground, catching their breaths. “At least we got rid of the spice?” Omega gave an optimistic, tired smile.

Something squeaked behind her, and the clones and Cid turned around. Shiai was sitting on the ground, holding one of the creatures with her claws jammed into it as it squealed and fought against her and the light outside. She was grinning brightly, head cocking back and forth and heedless of the little bites and scratches all over her face and head. “Shiani…?” Tech frowned. “Cyar’ika, what are you doing with that?”

“Snack. Insects are like crabs, right?” She turned it, looking for a place to sink her fangs. 

Hunter, Omega, and Cid looked disgusted. Wrecker just looked confused, watching her. “You’re gonna eat a bug?”

“No, she is not.” Tech grumbled, pulling the flapping and screeching monstrosity from her hands. It tried to bite him, still screaming, until he tossed it in the air and shot it before it could get its bearings. 

Shiani made a sad little noise. “But Tech…”

“I will get you something to eat after this. I will find water and catch you a fish myself, or buy whatever you would like from a cantina. But please do not make me watch you eat an insect. I fully intend to kiss you later, and that would be detrimental to the experience.” 

She scrunched her face. “They serve crab in cantinas on some planets we visit. What is the difference between crab and bug, except crab is wet and bug is dry?”

“A crab is served cooked, to begin with.” Tech gave her a hand up, and she sighed. 

“Sushi isn’t cooked. Neither is cookie dough, and Baby Mega and I ate a whole bowl last week.”

Hunter gave Omega a stern look. “Really?”

“It was good.” She smiled sheepishly. 

Cid sighed, nudging the dead insect out of the way with her foot. “C’mon. Let’s go wait for Bolo and Ketch to send the signal.” 

Hunter sighed. Now he had to deal with her on his ship for even longer… “Fine.” 

It didn’t take long for Cid to get the message from Bolo and Ketch saying the Pykes had arrived and come for Durand. “They don’t take kindly to unpaid debts, so they’ll fix our little problem for us.” 

“Your problem.” Shiani raised an eyebrow. “We’re just helping clean up mess.”

Cid huffed. “And here I was thinking about giving you guys dinner on the house.”

“The least you can do, after I got bit by all those flying things.” The siren chuckled, dabbing bacta on her many scratches. “I didn’t even get to eat it.”

“Were you actually going to eat it?” Cid eyed her. 

Shiani nodded. “I was. But I like kisses more than snacks..” 

“How do you go from threatening to bite me or apex predator mode, to a teenager in love?” Cid huffed. 

“I’m not a teenager. I’m twenty three standard years old.” The siren laughed. “Teenage years were terrible. All suckers and elbows, never knew how to fix my head to look pretty, and then got banished.” 

Tech chuckled. “You looked fine when we met.”

They walked into the Parlor and found Durand’s armored enforcers laid on the floor dead. Omega’s eyes went wide before Shiani put her hands over them. Cid just grinned. “See. Told you it would take care of itself. Now we can clear this mess out and start over.”

“I guess you want our help with that too?” Wrecker grumbled. 

Shiani and Hunter both turned their heads. “I don’t think the problem is all gone yet, Cid.” The sergeant muttered. 

Coming out from the office, four Pykes were escorting a humble looking and handcuffed Roland Durand. He spotted them, and in a desperate bid to save his own skin nodded at them. “They’re the ones who stole the spice. I know she was involved, and she got them to help her.”

The Pyke leader turned, examining the group who all pushed Omega to the middle protectively in the face of danger. “Return the spice, and we will consider the matter between us resolved.” 

“We don’t have it.” Cid frowned. 

“Then you are of no further use to us.” The Pyke drawled. “Kill them.” The Batch all reached for their own weapons, and Shiani’s claws came up along with her bared teeth.

Hunter realized quickly they were in over their head, and slowly lowered his blaster. “We don’t have the spice, but we know where it is. We can retrieve it and bring it back to you, if you’ll let the matter die here.”

“My patience is wearing thin. You have until nightfall to retrieve the spice. But the child remains here.”

Hunter started to balk, but Shiani put a hand on his shoulder. “They won’t hurt Baby Mega, as long as we do what they say. If we don’t, everyone dies here.” Her eyes moved sharply to the Pyke leader. The gang was ruthless and legendary, but they kept their word… most of the time. She would have to hope this was one of those times. 

The sergeant was backed into a corner with no option, and he hated it. Cid just nodded, looking terrified. “Suckers is right. It’s not a negotiation. We’ll all die here unless we get that spice.” 

Shiani knelt, putting her hands on Omega’s shoulders. “Listen to me.” She whispered. “Be very brave, Baby Mega. We’ll be back for you. We’ll always come back for you. Stay quiet and safe, okay?” 

Omega nodded shakily, glancing around. “I will.”

Shiani hugged her tightly and got up, running her tongue over her fangs as she looked at the Pyke leader. She wanted to puff up, make threats to bite and claw until they were all bleeding. But that would provoke them. Family didn’t provoke the enemy. They just protected their own. “By nightfall?”

The Pyke nodded and turned away, pointing for Omega to sit at a round table and shoving Durand over beside her. The Batch regretfully had to leave her and headed outside. 

“How are we going to get the spice?” Wrecker frowned. “Do we have to go back in there with those things?”

“Irlings.” Tech looked up from his datapad. “They are called irlings. They are nocturnal and photosensitive, so I recommend finishing this before dark.”

Hunter rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Not much choice there. Tech, we need a plan.”

“Working on it.” Tech showed Shiani his datapad, and her eyes brightened. 

“I love lights.”

Wrecker and Cid were lowered by the Marauder's outboard pulley system into the irling nest below the mining track. Hunter was waiting at the controls anxiously, pulling each crate of spice up and pushing it back inside to Shiani. “We could use a hand here, Tech.” He grumbled. 

“I’m giving you six extra arms. Let him work..” The siren chuckled. “If we need it, you'll be glad he did.”

“It's almost dark. Those things are going to wake up.” Echo muttered tensely from the cockpit. 

“I am preparing for the possibility.” Tech assured him. 

“Four crates up.” Shiani chirped. “Cid and Wrecker can ride the last two up.”

Hunter nodded, touching his comm. “Got the last two secure, Wrecker?”

“Yeah. This place is creepy, pull us up.”

Hunter started the pulley once again and glanced back at the setting sun. Shiani patted his shoulder. “Baby Mega is strong, Hunter. She'll be okay.”

“I hate that she's in this mess. And for Cid of all people.”

Shiani sighed. “I don’t like Cid much either, but I do think she feels bad about getting Baby Mega into trouble. Cid’s selfish, not evil.”

“Maybe I should have let you bite her.” He huffed. 

“Then Cid would be mad. Selfish means vindictive when crossed.”

He sighed. “Yeah, ye-”

“Hunter! Get us out of here! They're swarming!” Wrecker’s voice screamed through the comm, and blaster fire echoed below.

“Tech!” Shiani yelped. “The swarm’s coming up!”

Tech quickly tightened a screw and tossed her an oblong shaped device. “Twist counterclockwise on the left side! You have six seconds after.”

Shiani twisted the device sharply. “Tell Wrecker to close his eyes.” She leaned out and threw the invention straight down into the hole. “Incoming!”

Hunter hit the comm. “Eyes shut!”

Shaini shielded her face, listening to the swarm getting closer and the echo of Wrecker’s screaming. “Four. Five. Six.”

The cavern below lit up with an explosive flashbang, sending the irlings scattered and diving back to their silent and dark nest. Hunter hauled Cid and Wrecker to safety, he and Shiani pulling them up to the platform of the ship when they came into view.

“See Muscles? That wasn't so bad.” Cid's voice was shaky and her claws clutched Shiani's arm a little too tight. 

Wrecker just groaned miserably. 

Hunter patted his back. “C'mon. We gotta get the kid.”

Shiani darted back to Tech with happy eyes. “That was brighter than all the lights on Tipoca City!”

He chuckled and pulled her to him by the hips, so his chin rested against her stomach where he was seated and she stood. Her praising his invention was his favorite part of this mission. “Should I make you lights more often?”

“I like lights. It's dark underwater.” She smiled and traced a claw over his cheek. “Baby Mega lets me sit under her lights in her room sometimes.”

“Once we collect Omega, you can do that.” He let Echo pull the ship around, though, so he didn't have to let her go yet. 

The Batch walked into the Parlor with six crates of spice and set them in front of the group of collected Pykes. “Here. We kept our end of the deal.”

The leader nodded. “Then the matter between us is resolved. The child is free to go.”

Omega ran straight to Hunter, who tucked her immediately to his side. She looked anxiously back at Durand, who was quickly realizing that the matter between Pykes and Batch was solved, but his life was still in danger. “What's going to happen to him?”

Shiani shook her head. “Don't look.”

“But he just made a mistake! He shouldn't have to die over it.” Omega turned pleading eyes to the Pykes. “Don't hurt him!”

Shiani winced as the Pykes forced Durand to his knees over a crate. “Killing one means their family comes for revenge.” She murmured, hand on Omega's hair. She was thinking of sirens, who'd swim halfway across the planet after a missing member of their clans, or who'd hunt the largest sea monsters on Kamino if it meant protecting their children. 

Cid nodded. “Just call it a bad deal and move on.”

“We do not accept bad deals.” The Pyke sneered.

“If you kill him, you'll have a blood feud with Isa Durand. Do you really need that heat right now?”

Hunter moved to cover Omega's eyes as a knife came down, but instead of killing Roland Durand they only cut his horn at the scalp. He was dumped on the floor, and the Pyke leader pocketed his trophy. “Our business is concluded. See that our paths do not cross again.”

The other Pykes took the spice and filed out, leaving Durand humiliated but alive. 

Omega crept over to him. “Are you okay?”

He touched his horn and winced. “It's a small price to pay…” Ruby hopped into his lap comfortingly, and he looked over at the group who were all checking on Omega. Shiani spotted his expression and stepped out of the family huddle to approach him. 

“You're lonely.” She said matter-of-factly. “Miss you family?”

“I thought striking out on my own would earn my mother's respect.”

Shiani chuckled. “Go home to your mama. Love is more important than respect, and she loves you.”

“You don't even know my mother.” He frowned.

“I know mamas. They love, even the tough ones. Go home.”

He sighed and nodded. “... good idea.”

Once he'd shuffled out, Shiani went back to Tech's side. Cid smiled. “First round is on the house.”

“You owe us more than that.” Wrecker laughed. 

“Don't push your luck.” The trandoshan chuckled. When she glanced over her shoulder, Tech and Shiani were already slipping into a back booth to look at datapad holos of Nabooian paper lantern festivals. “Those two are easily entertained.”

Hunter chuckled back. “Only when they're together.”

[terraxcloud]

Sice

I guess I’ll start my “mumbling” again.

I’ve recently came across the video below. It’s about Kingdom Hearts and FF Type-0, with “potato quality audio”.

I have no idea why I posted that, but it kinda reminds me of...whatever I’m doing here (I’m not going to make videos). Y’know, it does make sense for me to post that.

I was going to title this “Mog’s Intercepting Wills”, but that would mean I’m focusing on the entire thing. No, I’m focusing on something specific, although the entirety of the Intercepting Will is “sus”.

The entire Intercepting Wills has the characters shown above...yes, no one else. This Intercepting Wills was followed by Paine’s Intercepting Wills, which is peculiar because Paine always stands beside Sice in this one.

It’s obvious why Serah, Eiko, and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Terra” are there (to me, obviously). Let me show you the first three characters that appear in the event that aren’t moogles.

No, that isn’t enough. Let me show you the very first non-moogle character to appear in the event.

Does Sice even have anything to do with moogles? I can’t quite remember...I always thought it was Cinque (Aerith in disguise) that was the moogle character of Type-0.

Many people ask themselves why Red XIII and Rikku aren’t in Opera Omnia. Red XIII at least makes sense...he’s not like the other characters and they can save him for before Rebirth (as he’ll be playable there). Rikku on the other hand has had a character portrait in the files of the game since it released and really has no reason to not be in the game.

Well, see it this way. The reason Paine appears with Sice is to show they are using Sice to represent Rikku. As I said earlier, Rikku was created from Priscilla, the girl in FF7 in the Junon area that gave the party Shiva materia (the Shiva that looks like Terra [the first Shiva that changed appearance too]) and has a crush on Cloud.

Yes, the first time I mentioned Rikku I said that she still remembers having a crush on Cloud in FFX-2 because she is “technically” Priscilla. It wasn’t until this Intercepting Wills that there was finally evidence that she actually has a connection to Terra.

Sice is in Act 4, Chapter 2 - Part 1 with Machina where he is...constantly talking about making everyone’s dreams come true. Yuna and Squall are also involved in that scene. Machina is created after Cloud, and I’m sure others already noticed that.

I dunno. Is Rikku even worth talking about? Maybe I’ll just have to see what DFFOO does with her when she appears before or after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Wait, let me rephrase that...is PRISCILLA even worth talking about? She’ll probably appear before Rikku, in 4k, with modern state-of-the-art graphics, showing off that weird Artificial Respiration minigame.

Yes, this post was kind of a joke, but it’s not.

Let’s go back to that “triangle” pic.

This “triangle” reminds me of that moment Terra, Tifa, and Aerith were just casually talking to each other in Aerith’s Lost Chapter. Change Eiko with Betty (AC’s “Moogle Girl”) and Sice with Rikku (who is Priscilla) and...WAIT. I get it now, HA. They’re just showing the characters in FF7R that are related to Terra and have a crush on Cloud.

DFFOO is a weird game that somehow has all the answers everyone wants, but it tries to not tell you them and instead uses character placement to say things. The average person wouldn’t find anything noteworthy in this scene.

Call me insane, but what fun is there to be a sane FF7 Youtuber theorist? I watched vids from that Maker guy who has created a ton of “complete” FF theory iceberg vids that don’t have ANY of my ramblings in them. I mean, if this stuff gets spoiled...it wouldn’t be surprising anymore once it happens, so maybe I’m glad he hasn’t seen it.

How about I tell you something completely unrelated that nobody knows? Pinkie and Trixie from G4 MLP were originally siblings during development. How do I know? I ask myself these questions sometimes. Knowing things without concrete answers is difficult, which is why I look everywhere until I’m “very sure”. Although, the other things I know are far more important...

Honestly, people like to be so “accurate”. You know how it’s like, “Betty didn’t have a crush on Cloud!”, “Rikku is a different character in a different game!”, or my favorite, “Terra isn’t in FF7.” Yeesh...it’s not that simple! Use your intuition! Intellect is going out of style. Facts can hide the truth.

[semper-legens]

159. The Terror, by Dan Simmons

Owned: No, library Page count: 935 My summary: 1845. Sir John Franklin is leading two ships full of men into the Arctic ice to find the Northwest Passage. They have provisions to last years, state of the art ships, and no chance against the Arctic winter. The provisions spoil, the crew lose hope, and the ice is creeping in. But the Arctic has other horrors waiting for these men. There’s something on the ice, and it’s coming for them... My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

Ah, the Franklin expedition. What, men undertaking a foolhardy journey in an unfamiliar environment and ending up getting stuck and resorting to cannibalism before dying horribly is something I am interested in? What a surprise! Yeah, this is totally one of my weird morbid interests, so this mammoth novel about the expedition’s demise was totally on my radar, especially since people were raving about the TV show adaptation when that came out. Overall I had a good time with this book, despite its length I found it very well-paced and gripping, and I was totally into it. There were some bones of contention I had, which I’ll talk about under the cut, but overall I liked it.

First off, I gotta shout out to the fact that this book has a bunch of different characters who are similar-seeming white dudes, and yet I remembered who they all were and could distinguish them well. Which doesn’t often happen with books of this kind, so kudos. This book was grim as hell, but in a very engaging way. I liked the use of the different narrators to show different points of view on the expedition and different mindsets (Goodsir is the one I blorbo’d). I liked how things just kept getting worse, and worse, and worse at a fast rate of knots. The oppressive atmosphere the book created was almost overwhelming, and definitely interesting to read when it’s Cold As Balls out! The supernatural element was the only grand-scope part of the plot I wasn’t so sure about, I feel that the Franklin expedition’s interesting enough on its own to carry this kind of narrative without introducing an explicit Scary Monster. Personally I would have drawn back on the Scary Monster angle, made it a bit more subtle and ambiguous, but that wasn’t the story Simmons wanted to tell.

The portrayal of the Inuit in this book is...interesting. Every POV character is racist. They’re all white British men from the 1840s, of course they are. It’s never really portrayed as a good thing, the framing of their thoughts is more to show what white British men from this era would think - people are surprised, for example, when Dr Goodsir treats an injured Inuit man. (The Inuit are also universally referred to with a word now recognised as a slur.) And the characters dismissing and treating the Inuit badly is framed as terrible by the narrative. I’m thinking mostly of the incident where one crewman, Hickey (more on him later) wants to kill an officer, and murders him shortly after he’s met with an Inuit group. This group was wary of the officer, but eventually managed to communicate and shared food with him. Hickey killing him and, worse, framing the Inuit for his death dooms the entire surviving crew - a partnership with the Inuit could have led to food for the starving men, to the Inuit teaching them how to hunt and fish and gain food for themselves. But Hickey made them into a scapegoat, and that comes back to bite everyone. (Cannibalism joke!)

But at the same time, there’s Lady Silence. She’s a young (possibly even teenage) Inuit woman who comes onto the ship after the man she was travelling with was killed. The captain keeps her around so that she could maybe teach them how to get food. There is a lot of emphasis on her body. She is constantly mentioned as being naked under her parka - part of this is for contrast, to show that the crew’s decision to wear wool that gets wet and freezes was a bad decision, but the framing of it is very sexual and definitely crosses the line of being fetishising, especially when men keep seeing her naked and fantasising about her. Again, this is probably meant to be the POV of men who have been on a ship for years and are racist and have complicated thoughts about seeing this woman, but the framing crosses over into fetishising her. I also don’t know how much the Inuit legends and mythology mentioned in the book are based on real myths (apart from Sedna, I know that one) but there’s a chance the book could be iffy along those lines, not knowing about the culture I cannot comment.

So the Hickey thing. Hickey is a crewman in a relationship with another crewman. He’s also an evil murdering racist cannibal. His group is the only group shown resorting to cannibalism, and it’s more murder-cannibalism than survival-cannibalism. (Bringing sick crew along as reserve food stores, shooting crewmen without casting lots for food, that sort of thing.) And, look, I have views about cannibalism I don’t think it’s in and of itself a morally bad act. But portraying the cannibalism like this really draws a line to the contemporary view on the idea of the Franklin expedition eating people - the Victorians were horrified that anyone could think that white British men could do something so barbaric and uncivilised. And having one of the only (not the only, to be fair, but certainly the most prominent) gay men portrayed as an evil cannibal...it’s not a great look, is all I’m saying.

Next up, some epic fantasy, and a young street rat learning there’s something magical about her...

[moemoemammon]

Following that "least favorite" request could we get their reactions to being to told that they're their favorite, but to not tell the other brothers so their feelings don't get hurt? Maybe because they relate to them the most or just get along really well. Thanks!

You're My Favorite! But Don't Tell the Others-

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

There are no words to explain the overwhelming satisfaction ion Lucifer’s face after you tell him that. Of course, it’s only natural that he would be your favorite, all things considered.

The Avatar of Pride won’t ever forget this moment. He carefully considers your words and agrees not to tell anyone, as much as he’d love to bring it up, because he knows more than anyone what kind of chaos would ensue should the others (especially Mammon) find out.

But they can tell something’s up when the eldest has been heard humming all day. He moves about the house with even more grace than usual, and hasn’t scowled even once.

But the REAL shocker was when Mammon tried hiding a bill right as Lucifer walked in... and the eldest let him off with a warning. A WARNING! The brothers thought the Devildom must’ve frozen over, but you and he knew different.

“MC, I would like you to accompany me to Le Pluvier this afternoon, once you've finished your studies. I've already made reservations, so be sure to get ready on time. I've made sure to consider the things you might like to eat, so I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself. Don't be late." "...I'm grinning? I don't know what you're talking about."

Mammon

The gigantic grin on Mammon’s face is so bright, it could rival the sun. You’ve seriously made his day. No, his year. Actually, he’s pretty sure he could ride this high for the next millennia! There’s nothing in this world that could dampen his spirits right now! 

He feels like he just won big at the casino! Of course he’s your favorite! He WAS your first demon, and now he’s gone and claimed his rightful spot as your number one! Good luck trying to keep him from saying anything. Mammon’s gonna throw it around in everyone’s faces for as long as he can milk it.

And you thought he was clingy before, just wait till you see how he treats you after hearing that. Despite always calling you his ‘servant’ or his ‘human’, you’d  think your roles were reversed. Mammon spoils you every chance he gets, buying you clothes and trinkets, filling the spaces in your room with the things he knows you like, monopolizing you completely until nearly everything you own is a gift from him.

Your words also help soothe that jealousy of his a little. Only a little, though. It’s easier to watch you talk to other demons when he knows he’ll always be your first man.

“Didja really have to stay after class that long? I know you were talkin' to that demon that lent you a book, but you outta ask ME for stuff! Tch... you're lucky I'm in a good mood today! But I guess I don't have to worry about some low level demon like that, seein' as I'm your favorite!"

Levi

Wait wait wait....Come again? Did you seriously just say what he think you said..? That had to be a mistake! Some kind of...uh..verbal typo! Because there’s absolutely, positively, NO WAY in all of the nine layers that he could be your favorite demon. And yet you still insist that you’re telling the truth, and Levi feels like he’s died and gone to heaven. 

Red faced and stammering up a storm, Levi looks like he might die. Is it really okay for a shut-in otaku to feel this giddy? Seriously, he hasn’t felt like this since he got his hands on a signed copy of a Ruri Hana audio drama! No no, this definitely beats that!

You’ve managed to inflate his nearly nonexistent ego, and now he feels like there’s nothing he can’t do! Maybe he could even go to Majolish right now?? THAT’S how good he’s feeling!

Almost as bad as Mammon in keeping it a secret. He doesn’t tell anyone right away, but they’re suspicious when they notice how much time he’s spending out of his room. And then when he and Mammon get in another petty argument, he drops the bomb that he’s your favorite demon in the entire Devildom, and you can guess how things go from there.

“Uuuoooo...!!!!! I've decided..! Since I've got a serious stat buff, I'm going to open a booth at the next convention coming up..! I'll sell my Ruri-chan fan art and spread her influence all over the Devildom! I'd never have the guts to do it normally, but I feel like I could do anything right now! Y-you'll go too, won't you MC?"

Satan

You nearly made this man spit tea all over his book, and now he’s coughing and spluttering and trying to figure out what could’ve prompted what he’s taking as a confession. You.. do realize what you’re saying, don’t you? And you know the kind of effect your words have on him?

Satan isn’t the type that wears his heart on his sleeve, so you have to look for his subtle expressions to tell how he’s feeling. But there’s nothing subtle about the redness of his ears and how he’s begging you not to look at him right now. For the sake of his sanity, give him a minute to recoup.

When he does recover, he agrees to keep it a secret for obvious reasons. And it’s hard to tell that he’s in a good mood, other than the fact that he hasn’t tried to pull any pranks on Lucifer lately. But Asmo sees all, and literally hounds him into spilling the tea.

He tells him a lie of course, but now the other brothers are noticing just how happy he is. Satan's smiling way too much today, isn't he? And he didn't even get mad when Beel got whipped cream on his jacket! Well, not THAT mad, anyway.

"Haaah... everyone's been harassing me all day, claiming I'm smiling a lot. I'm sure I look the same as I always do, but I'll admit that I've been happy ever since you told me that this morning. Wait.. you did think I've been grinning too, do you? I have??"

Asmo

Asmo always jokes about being your favorite and announces it as if the two of you are married, but when you actually confirm that his longing for you isn’t one sided, he ends up smearing lip balm across his cheek in shock. Did you... really say that just now? He knew it all along, but hearing it like that is just...!

Ooooh, he’s so happy he can hardly contain himself! Asmo throws his arms around you, peppering your face in kisses until you feel sticky from lip balm, wipes your face clean, then marks it up all over again. Good luck getting rid of him, because he might never let go.

Immediately posts it to Devilgram. Did you really think he’d let such a momentous occasion go unannounced? You must not have been paying attention to the kind of person he is! Asmo would put you on a pedestal in front of the world like a precious jewel if he were able, but this’ll have to do. He won’t hide his love at all!

Of course, the others don’t take too kindly to it, not that he cares. He never leaves your side, pampers you like crazy, and has even attempted to get you to move into his room. Lucifer put an immediate stop to that, though. Boo...

“I just can't get enough of you, MC! Just being near you gets me so excited that I can hardly stand it! You'll take responsibility for what you're doing to me, won't you? And in exchange, I'll take my time showing you just how much I love you. After all, you're my favorite, too!"

Beel

Beel never has a problem with choking while he eats, and it comes as naturally as breathing. Unfortunately neither of that applies right now, since you just made him choke on a meatball sub.

He usually takes your words with quiet acceptance, but this might be the most emotion you've ever witness from the stoic demon. His eyes are wider than that time that laid on an entire gingerbread mansion, sparkling up with such deep emotion you wouldn't be surprised if he cried. Instead he softens up and immediately embraces you.

...And doesn't let go. Sandwich long forgotten, he's been carrying you around all day, and ignoring any questions or protests from his brothers. Also insists on feeding you throughout the day. The food tastes better when he can enjoy it with you, so why not just bring you everywhere?

When he isn't carrying you, he's following you around subconsciously, either close up against you like a protective wall, or just far enough that you're within his line of sight. As far as not telling anyone, he... tells Belphie immediately. It was an accident though, since there's not much he keeps from his twin.

"MC, I won a meal ticket for Godevil Chocolatier. Let's get something for dessert today. Ah, you can get as much as you want, too. I really want to see what things you choose. They might become my favorites."

Belphie

There's nothing in this world that can wake Belphegor from his sleep, unless he allows it. No loud noises, no amount of shaking or smacking, and not even dragging him around the house. But the moment you whisper that he's your favorite demon, the Avatar of Sloth is wide awake.

Hey, you're not just saying weird things to get a reaction, are you? Because if so, this is a new level of cruel. Yet you confirm that you mean it and swear him into secrecy, and Belphie tries his best not to show how happy he is. A smile keeps creeping up on his face that he struggles to force down. It's annoying...

As funny as it’d be to tell everyone the news, he's good at keeping secrets. Instead, you've noticed that he's been sleeping a little less that before. When he does take one of his hundreds of naps, he finds some way to be closer to you. He's even been seen sleepwalking to your exact location somehow-

It's hard for him to believe that you're not teasing, though. How could HE be your favorite demon here? Belphie doesn't do anything special to win you over, yet after everything he put you through, you like him enough to deep him your favorite?

"You're weird, MC. I mean... me? I won't deny that I'm really happy though, but I guess I'm in disbelief. You should spoil me even more until I believe you. Lend me your lap for a few hours, okay?" "...I wonder what Lucifer would think if I told him, heheh."

[astaroth1357]

Brothers Accidentally Make the MC Cry

Hello, this is the obligatory italics blurb that I have to put under my titles or else things look weird and it bothers me. Don’t mind the blurb. The blurb is a friend. (Though I could start writing pieces of a little story up here just to see if anyone even reads them… Hm…. Ideas, ideas...)

Warning: Angsty

Lucifer 

If he were being honest, he’d say that a part of him had always feared this would happen...

Lucifer likes to tell himself that he’s invincible, but everyday stresses can get to him just like anybody else. And like other people, he may not always act his best when he’s dealing with a full plate…

The MC hadn’t meant to make his day harder when they told him that they accidentally broke a lamp. It was a genuine accident! But Lucifer was still dealing with the fallout from another one of Mammon’s failed schemes, Satan had cursed all of his ties again, and Beel had eaten every scrap of food in the House… for the second time that week...

In comparison to everything else, a broken lamp was quite minor, but for Lucifer it was just the last straw and, for just a moment, he lost control…

His palm slamming against his desk hard enough to snap its legs and send it crashing to the ground. He scarcely knew what kind of look he had on his face, but whatever it was, he had made his human jump back in shock...

Really, it was silly for them to assume that he had gotten that upset over a lamp, but he saw tears starting to gather in their eyes all the same as they stammered out a quiet apology… 

It felt like an ice spike to the heart. Damn his temper… He really ought to have been more careful with them after… well, everything he’d done before…

He was quick to go over to them, catching their face with his hand and giving them the most sincere apology he could muster while wiping away their tears… Overreactions aren’t becoming of him and he hated to cause them pain… 

He, of course, took care of the lamp himself as penance and on the surface that seemed to be it (but to anyone paying attention, he had softened up on the MC considerably for at least a week. They probably could have sworn in front of Diavolo and he’d let it slide, he felt that bad about it...)

“I’m sorry, MC, I shouldn't have reacted like that… You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise… Please, there’s no need to cry…”

Mammon

Oh? What's that? His heart is now in a million pieces now...? Well, that seems fair…

He and the MC were out on one of his gambling nights and he was actually on a killer winning streak for once! Jackpots around every corner, he was rolling in it!

The MC had tried to convince him to just throw in the towel early, take his winnings while he had them and bail, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.

In hindsight, their insistence must have really shown how much the MC cared about him and wanted him to keep his earnings... but in the heat of the moment all he saw was someone trying to spoil his one night of fun.

To be fair to Mammon, it’s rather rare for him to lose control of his anger like he did. But when they tried to pull him away from the roulette table, he genuinely snarled at them and told them to get lost...!

Fortunately, he regretted his actions immediately after he saw the hurt in their eyes…

If their goal had been to get him to step away from the table, they achieved it. But only because he got up to pull them into a hug while stammering out apologies… Watching them actually shed tears hurt worse than any rope Lucifer had ever tied around him...

He spent the rest of the night away from the casino and trying to cheer up his human like his life depended on it... Seeing them in pain just tore him up that much.

"Ah, come on MC… I'm sorry, honest…! Please don't look at me like that, I'll do whatever ya want okay...? Just no more cryin…"

Leviathan 

Now thinks he's the worst, literally the worst. Lower than lesser demon spit. Lower than Cerberus' shit. Lower than… well, you get the idea…

Levi can get very… intense when things involving his passions are brought up. This can be a fairly endearing quality… but it also means he gets disproportionately impassioned about seemingly minor things.

Levi ended up snapping at the MC when they let him over-sleep one day. This wasn’t unusual for them to do as Levi’s sleep schedule was notoriously shitty, but they shouldn't have done it that particular day…

An item he wanted on Akuzon was going to go live that morning and he had to be awake to participate in the bidding. He had mentioned it to the MC the day before, but he blew past it so quickly they didn’t actually remember…

He found out that he missed the bidding after he woke up and he was pissed. Genuinely enraged that they didn’t remember to wake him up to the point that he was shouting and baring his fangs! 

… Really it was not a good look and he should have known better.

The look of fear and the tears gathering in the MC’s eyes snapped him out of it like a hard slap to the face, and somehow, it stung even more than that would’ve... It wasn’t long before he was crying along with them, practically begging for forgiveness...

He made it up to them by having a private showing of their favorite movie using a projector in the Planetarium, cuddling with them under a blanket while still, occasionally, muttering apologies under his breath.

“M-MC…? MC don’t cry…!! Please don’t cry, I- I’m sorry!! I… MC… I’m so sorry…”

Satan

Like Lucifer, he always worried this would happen and he hated when it finally came to pass…

He’d spent all his life learning how to restrain his temper, but it’s not a perfect science. There are the occasional times where the heat of the moment gets the better of him and he does something he regrets…

The MC had walked in on him one morning while he was fuming about Beel leaving the fridge empty again. It hadn’t been the first time they’d seen him like this, but this time he was absolutely furious.

He had told Beel again and again and again to get his snacking under control or to, you know, get up early and get more food so the whole family wouldn’t spend the morning starving but noooo! Mr. I’m Hungry never thinks about anything but his own stomach and then leaves whoever’s on kitchen duty to pick up the slack like some dimwitted muscle-bound meathead and THEN-!!

When the MC tried to take his arm to calm him down, he jerked their hand away from him and roared right in their face. He may not be a lion, but the full sound of a pissed off demon could make humans have breakdowns all on its own…

Which was more or less what the MC began to do as he gripped their wrist, panicking while taking shallow, stuttered breaths…

Satan's anger left him swiftly and he let them go, only reaching out to touch them again when he tried to wipe the tears from their cheeks… He had to coo and beg for them to calm down, which was only so successful because he was fighting back tears himself… 

On a scale of 1-10 of the worse things his temper has ever done, he'd rank this a firm 200... He refused to touch them for about a week afterwards and it took a long time for him to trust himself again… He just didn't want to hurt them...

"MC?? MC…? M… Oh no… MC, I'm so sorry, I would never hurt you! I… I wouldn't dare… please believe me..."

Asmodeus 

Oh baby! Sweetheart! Love of his life!! No, please no… don't subject him to this…

MC and Asmo were out dancing and some witch came by to try and flatter him.

Now, Asmo is a flirt normally, but get a few drinks in him and well… Let's just say his love of attention overrides his better judgment far more often than it should and friends don't let friends go home with creepy witches.

When the MC told the witch to scram, Asmo was confused and, frankly, quite irritated. That lovely lady had been stroking his ego in all the right ways and his human just scared her off so rudely!

Under most situations, Asmo would have kept his cool better but the haze of Demonus made his tongue loose... which let the venom fly…

He couldn’t quite remember what he said. The words left his mouth so quickly that they slurred together on his clumsy tongue, but it must have been enough because the MC flinched away from him.

That hurt all on its own, but as he started to process the pain in their eyes… he had never sobered up so fast...

He had their cheeks cupped in his hands and were kissing away their tears within the instant. Though the loud music at the club should have drowned out his apologies, the MC could see it written all over his equally tearful face…

He pulled them into his arms and then out of the club shortly after, the fog of Demonus that plagued him just moments before had long left him and all he knew was that the MC needed to be brought home and cuddled… stat.

“M-MC…? I’m sorry was it something… did I…? I’m so sorry… Please don’t cry…!”

Beelzebub 

He really didn't mean to shout so loud… honest... 

Beel becomes a completely different person when he’s hungry. He’s not entirely to blame, as his hunger can get so intense, but he still can snap from time to time when he really doesn’t mean to…

It was right after one of his practices and Beel hadn’t gotten a chance to eat in a few hours by the time the MC came to grab him from RAD. That already had him in a bad mood, but practice hadn’t gone too well for him either… 

He honestly didn’t realize how sharply he snapped at the MC when they asked him how he was. The irritation and frustration of the day all hit him at once and he became much harsher towards them than he ever intended…

It must have been the shock of seeing ever-sweet Beel suddenly get so aggressive with them that startled them so. He saw a couple tears gathering in their eyes before they could hide them and his heart just sank…

The MC was picked up in a crushing bear hug before they even let out their first sniffle. Beel didn’t even have to say how sorry he was, they could feel it in every squeeze he gave them. All while he completely ignored the growling of his stomach...

Beel wouldn’t let them go until he was certain they’d forgiven him which, honestly, took a while. Mammon was the one to ask why he had carried them all the way back to the House like a baby but… well, he didn’t need to know, now did he?

“MC, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have shouted… Are you alright...?”

Belphegor 

Stubborn boi is stubborn and trying really, really hard not to crack right now...

That's not going to last long.

Belphie can be a bit of a brat and since he's the baby of the family so he's used to getting his way. He and the MC don't argue a ton, but when they do, he always digs his heels in and refuses to budge an inch on anything.

So what started out as a simple disagreement on how often Belphie would flake out on his chores turned into a kick-the-door-down argument over how much his laziness left the MC to pick up the slack...

It ended as all their barn burning arguments do, with demon-form Belphie sitting cross-legged on his bed refusing to look at them and the MC angrily pacing about the room until he cools off…

And then he heard it.

First a sniffle… and then a hiccup. Another sniffle then muffled whine…

Oh no… not this… Why are they crying…? They don't normally cry…

To his credit (or perhaps discredit), he managed to hold out for about two minutes before he finally glanced back at them. Seeing the MC wiping their tears all alone on the floor crumbled his resolve real quick.

The MC found themselves enveloped by Belphie's arms before they even noticed he got up. Naturally, he was pouting and trying to make it seem like "not a big deal or anything" but they could tell by the nervous twitch of his tail that he was hurting too…

Needless to say. Belphie started remembering his chores a lot more after that.

"Humans are so fragile… I didn't mean to make you cry, you know? I'll get things done just… Don't cry… please…"

[mercy-burning]

Your Favorite — Part 3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: As the summer comes to a close, Spencer and Y/N start feeling a shift in their relationship. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Adults w/ age gap, thigh riding, exhibitionism, oral sex (male receiving), penetrative/unprotected sex, breeding kink, one line of daddy kink,  Word Count: 4.3k exactly, love how that turned out lol

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

NOTE: Thank you all for sticking with me through this long wait, I feel so bad for having to keep putting it off. But I’m very proud of where this ended up, and I’m so glad you’ve all been so excited about it! I had so much fun writing this story, so again, thank you very much for reading and indulging me in this weird fantasy lolol ❤ Love you guys! And, as always, thank you to the lovely Em ( @boldlyvoid ) for being my beta for this series! Your feedback and support has been a big help from the start, ILY

———

AUGUST 12th

"I don't wanna hear a single word, understand?"

Not like I have a choice; As soon as the harsh whisper leaves Spencer's mouth, his hand is covering my own and my back is being pressed up against the wall of the storage closet.

But that's all he does. I wait for him to make a move, but instead he insists on being a tease.

"What? You've been trying to get my attention all night, and now that you have it, you're not gonna do anything with it?"

"I want you to do it for me," I mumble into his hand.

He shoves me harder into the wall and slots his knee in between my legs, spreading them apart and making me sigh.

"You wanted it so bad... So take it..."

Watching the amusement dance through his features as I grind down on his leg and whine into his mouth only excites me more, right next to the knowledge that downstairs the house is congested with people visiting to celebrate my mom's new promotion at work.

Needless to say, it doesn't take me very long to start feeling my stomach tense. My hips are wild as they roll over his leg, whines spewing from my mouth and into his hand. I look up into his eyes, doing my best to show him how much I could never grow tired of this, and he returns the favor by lifting his leg higher and giving me more friction.

In no time at all, I'm shuddering against him, feeling his hand press harder into my mouth to muffle the high-pitched whines that I can't help but expel.

"Nice and quick... Good girl..." Spencer muses, slowly peeling himself away from me. "You're really looking forward to being spoiled later, aren't you..."

The grin that spreads over my face is unwavering. "Definitely. Knowing Mom, she'll be passed out cold in like an hour."

I know I'm the one who brought her up, but it still stings a little when Spencer smiles fondly. "Yeah, she's a lightweight alright... You sure you can handle all this time without me until then?"

Despite the butterflies I get when he says it, mischievous and downright delectable, his hands reach out to grab my waist and pull me closer to him, I roll my eyes. "You underestimate me."

He studies my face for a moment, a pretty smile flashing before me in the dim light before he kisses my cheek. "Sure."

And when he leaves, I wait.

Minutes later, my skin still burns from his touch.

———

The moment my eyes open the next morning, it all comes back in flashes.

His lips are on my skin, travelling lower and lower...

His hands trail all over my body, featherlight in a way that leaves me with goosebumps.

His tongue starts slow, taking its time to taste me and savor every precious second.

His voice is like the sweetest prayer, whispering praises that leave my head dizzy and my heart pounding.

His lips languidly open and close around the most sensitive parts of my body, in tandem with that sweet, magnificent tongue as each action pulls sighs from the very depths of my soul.

His hands reach up and tangle with mine as he makes me come on his tongue, over and over again until I'm practically numb and the lull of sleep drags me under.

His hands now ghost over my bare skin, along my sides and down to my waist. I hum happily and push back against him when I feel it.

He's hard.

"How long before you think she wakes up?" he whispers in my ear.

"Not long... Maybe we... shouldn't risk i—"

The words fall off a cliff, never to be seen again when he slowly enters me, gripping my leg and forcing it over his own. "I'll be quick."

I can tell, though, that he doesn't want to be. It's present in the way he enters me, over and over with motions that feel rather stunted and definitely too rushed.

"Baby, no," I whine, reaching behind me to hold his hips still with one hand. "Fuck me slow... Don't rush..."

"But... Your mom..."

"Please..."

Spencer sighs, though not from exasperation. No, his breath is long and teeming with relief, hands gently roaming over the entirety of my body as his hips move slower. He's taking his time, relishing every second and feeling me gradually get more slick at his undoing.

His lips are on my neck, not providing marks to match the ones hidden on the inside of my thighs and my chest, but merely resting there. He kisses me in between gentle thrusts, letting out small whimpers of his own when I clench tightly around him.

This...

This is different.

We've had slow morning sex before, but never like this. Somehow, I find myself drifting, like I'm being carried away by his current. There's nothing but me, Spencer, and our breathing... Our bodies, our air, our souls...

This is what I imagine making love feels like.

Which is why I barely notice when it slips from my mouth— Three words that should feel more daunting due to the weight they hold and the way they ultimately change everything. And yet, whispering “I love you,” in a nearly breathless string of syllables feels incredibly natural. It’s more sincere than anything I think I’ve ever told him, so much so that I don’t even think about what it will mean in the long-run. Instead I let it fall from my lips again and again without regret or consequence.

He doesn't stop, either. Spencer continues to fuck me softly, like it's all he knows how to do. In fact, my confession only seems to make him relax more.

And that's what finally pushes me over the edge.

His name escapes my mouth in a whisper that sounds more like a plea not to leave, and he holds me closer to him. Our bodies are flush together, my back resting perfectly against his chest as he takes a few final thrusts and empties himself inside of me.

If we stayed like that forever, I could die happy.

And actually, that wouldn't be far from the truth, given that if we did stay here forever, my mom would certainly find us and kill us.

The thought makes me sigh.

"You have to leave..."

"I know..."

Spencer pulls me closer, squeezing me tight and giving me a long, bold kiss on the jaw before he rips himself away and takes my heart with him.

AUGUST 18th

Things are significantly different now.

After the morning I let slip that I love him, Spencer and I had been intimate once. We found ourselves alone while Mom was at the grocery store and instinctually came together.

It was quick, and it was fast and rough, and while it obviously felt good, something was off. But I knew it wasn't a physical problem. Like I said, it felt as good as any other time we'd been together, but it just wasn't right.

I hate it.

It hasn't even been a week since then, and I miss him. I miss our dynamic, and I miss the way I used to feel when he touched me.

So I stalk into the office and lean against the doorframe, watching Spencer as he goes through a large pile of paperwork. His hands and his eyes are moving at near light-speed, and the way he concentrates almost makes me feel bad for my intrusion—Honestly, I could have looked at him all damn day.

But there's a bigger plan in mind.

"What'cha up to?"

He looks up and greets me with a smile. "School starts in a few weeks. I'm just trying to get my coursework prepared."

"Oh... You... mind if I keep you company?"

"Not at all."

It's an innocent enough exchange, though I'm hoping I can change that. Mom doesn't get off work for another few hours, so it gives me ample time to do what I have planned.

I walk over and nudge his leg with my knee, and he lets me in. I climb on his lap, and after giving me a brief kiss on the cheek he returns to going through his paperwork.

My face turns and I nestle it into his neck. He hums softly when I kiss the skin under his jaw, once, and then twice, and then over and over in quick succession.

I can feel him smile. "What are you up to, princess?"

Hearing the nickname return in earnest makes me smile. I nip softly at his neck and run my tongue along it. "Mmm, trouble."

"Sounds like you," he mutters through a sultry sigh once I start going lower, kissing the top of his shoulder.

I slide my hands up the front of his chest and gently undo the top button, giving me access to more skin. "You love it when I make trouble..."

"Hmm, I'm not sure about that."

I slide off his lap then, crouching between his legs and looking up at him with a smile. "Really?"

All he does is look down at me, his pupils growing bigger by the second. So I continue my venture, sliding my hands up the insides of his legs until I reach the belt. "So you don't love when I do this?"

Spencer sighs, helping me by lifting his hips a little and letting me slide down layers of fabric until his dick is right in front of me.

I don't waste any time, taking him in my hand and bringing him to my mouth. He's still not entirely hard yet, but I don't mind at all. In fact, I let out a happy sigh just before I press kiss after kiss along the entire length of him. From base to tip, I take my time kissing and licking along the salty skin and giving him my full attention. I pull back and admire him, I smile, I kiss and I lick and I squeeze him with my hand... And when he's finally nice and hard, I take the head of his cock in my mouth and suck gently.

"Y/N..."

I hum around him, sinking further down until he hits the back of my throat, and then I come back up and repeat. It's slow. Maybe torturous even, but really I don't mean it to be.

Thankfully Spencer seems to be happy with my speed and technique; His eyes are on the verge of closing and his chest is heaving slowly, fingers gently caressing the sides of my face as I go down on him.

It's this same slow, steadying pace we'd taken before, and it's exactly what we needed.

I can feel his touch on my face, burning into my skin and marking me for all eternity. Likewise, the thick, throbbing weight of his cock sliding over my tongue and down my throat feels just like home— Like it's right where we're meant to be.

Once again, we fit together perfectly.

This epiphany sets a fire deep in the pits of my stomach, and just like that our spark is back again.

I look up and catch his eye, and he lets me keep it, forcing himself to keep his eyelids open to watch me. My pace remains consistent and slow, and and he brings both of his hands under my chin. The way he holds my face is so gentle, so loving and sensual that I nearly burst with tears at the sentiment alone, and it doesn't take long for him to start letting go.

He stutters my name when he comes, still using the pads of his nimble fingers to caress my throat. I take in and swallow each rope of cum until it's gone, and even then I keep him in my mouth, gently bobbing my head up and down just for the sake of feeling him inside me somehow.

But then he lifts me off of him and his dick falls limp in his lap. I sigh and lean down, kissing it a few times before just resting my head in his lap as he strokes my hair.

"You're right," Spencer says after a few moments.

"About what?"

"I do love when you make trouble."

We laugh, and I lift my head to look up at him.

"I know... It's your favorite."

"That it is, princess."

AUGUST 26th

I wish more than anything that this orientation would just end. My left foot is anxiously tapping the cool white tile of the floor as I wait to be next in line to grab my paperwork and get on my way— To home for what I'm sure will be a long weekend trying to find free minutes to steal with Spencer.

In another life it might have gotten tedious and painful sneaking around for so long, but I found it excited me. Sure, my feelings for Spencer were growing at an exponential rate, but ever since I visited him in our home office, we seemed to be getting back our groove— With an added flair I might add...

Each time we were together was more intense than the last. His hands got more possessive, his kisses got deeper and more passionate, and the way he looked at me?

I could swear I felt him falling just as deep as I was.

The smile it all brought to my face in that moment fell a little short when they called me next in line, and I fell into a joyful step forward to collect my things.

When I get home, though, things aren't as joyful.

The first thing I notice is that Spencer's car isn't in the driveway or even on the street. He's usually here on weekends, so I wonder if he's out for something, or even out with my mom on a lunch date or something.

I try not to think about that thought too much and step inside, hoping to at least enjoy the silence for a little while, lest they really are out together.

I think I'm out of the woods when I hear the television, a laugh track of some kind, but then it turns into the Friends theme blaring through the speakers, and my heart nearly falls into the pit of my stomach.

There's only one reason Mom would be watching Friends. She swears up and down that she hates it, but it always ends up on TV when there's one specific thing she's going through, because "Hearing them complain about their stupid problems make me feel better about my own!"

Her own problem being a breakup.

For a moment I wonder if maybe Spencer had told her about us. Or maybe she found something somehow that would give us away. I make my way slowly through the space until I reach the living room, my brain making up every possible horrendous outcome— Not even to prepare for the blow, because I know that absolutely nothing could prepare me for the wrath of my mother in any situation... I simply can't help myself from feeling guilty and heartbroken as my stomach churns and my heart beats so loud I can barely hear the TV anymore.

When I come into her view, Mom freezes and lets out a large breath of shaky air. The small tub of ice cream in her hands shakes just as much, and I can tell she's trying her hardest not to burst into tears.

I've never seen her this upset before. Normally it's just anger and annoyance, but this time she looks utterly broken.

"M—Mom?" I stutter, even though she probably can't even hear what I'm saying over the TV. I still don't know if she knows about my involvement with Spencer, but I feel like she'd be more angry with me than sad, so I figure it's safe to come closer.

The moment I take a step forward, she sets the ice cream on the floor and opens her arms to me, a choked sob forcing its way out. It almost makes me cry, just seeing her this heartbroken, and in an instant I'm running to her and snuggling into her side as she hugs me.

"What happened?" I will myself to ask, even though I still have no idea what it means for me. Maybe that's selfish, but if he's taking himself out of Mom's life, surely that has to mean he's removing himself from mine as well, right? And if he's just leaving without saying anything... God, that would ruin me, too.

Still, I wait to hear what Mom will say.

"He broke up with me," is all she says, through a long and tired sigh. She mutes the TV and then holds me tighter. I can feel that there's pure sadness controlling her every movement, and it crushes me.

"Why?"

"I don't know, he just... He said he didn't love me, and he wasn't feeling it anymore."

"That's all?"

"Uh huh... It was so sudden, too, like... I thought we were really getting along, and I just... I don't understand how he couldn't feel it... I felt all of it, and he just... He felt nothing. How could he feel nothing?"

I really don't know what to say anymore... It seems to me like Spencer really told her the truth and ended their relationship because he didn't feel anything for her anymore, but... I always knew he had to have felt something... I guess I just didn't realize someone could fall out of it so quickly.

The guilt overwhelms me then, when it dawns on me that I made him fall out of it so fast. I was there, taking up small moments of his time until, eventually, I'd taken up so much of it that it wasn't just his time I was stealing, but also his love. His fire, and his passion... Month by month, day by day, I was draining the love he had for my mom and distilling it to meet my own desires.

And now, here I am, in my mothers arms as she weeps over a man she truly loved, all because he and I were selfish and treasonous.

If Spencer decides he still wants to be with me after this, I really don't know if I could do it. Even after all this time... After all this trouble and guilt and glorious treason...

He could never really be mine.

———

Y/N,

I knew this day would come from the moment I met you. Of course, I didn't know how far my feelings would take me, but in the end I knew I would one day have to leave you and your mother behind.

Day by day my feelings for you grew stronger, and it wasn't until you told me you loved me that August Thirteenth that I realized I loved you, too. What we had was always dangerous, but by then my heart was focused solely on you, and I could feel your mother slipping from my grasp.

I pretended for as long as I could, but now you've taken up so much space in my brain that when Eve pulled me near, I almost sighed out your name instead. I knew then that no longer could I "keep up appearances," as I often like to tell you.

Maybe one day you and I can find our way back to each other, but for now, I think it's for the very best that we go our separate ways.

In my wildest dreams I will think of you fondly, and I can only hope that you might do the same.

Always Yours, Spencer

JUNE 19th, SEVEN YEARS LATER

There are so many things I'm thinking about when I come home tonight.

One: I'm a little tipsy and completely fucked out, which reminds me of that night I came home in the exact same state, only to find my mom's old boyfriend, Spencer, unable to sleep and to stop staring at my bare legs. The memory brings a smile to my face.

Two: My feet fucking hurt and I want to get these goddamned shoes off.

Three: The ghost of Spencer's smile when he saw me for the first time in seven years burns in the back of my mind, right next to the ghost of his hands caressing my skin like it had been the first time.

Four: How am I going to spend the rest of the summer back in town knowing what it feels like to have fucked him at all without an ounce of guilt attached to it?

Five: Am I going to tell my mom that I slept with her ex-boyfriend tonight?

Six: Fuck, I'm hungry...

My heels come off as soon as I step through the door.

The light is on, and I can hear Mom laughing in the kitchen with Adam from far away, which brings a fond smile to my face. I'm glad that she's finally happy, with someone who doesn't make me want to fall to my knees, thank you very much.

And truthfully, if I hadn't ran into Spencer at all tonight, I'm not sure I ever would have thought about that whole situation again— It was fucked up, he ended up leaving both of us, and Mom was so deeply devastated after their breakup that I didn't have the heart to tell her I missed him too. I just buried it deep down and tried to move on right alongside her, eventually erasing his memory from my mind, body, and soul.

Well, almost.

There were days, obviously, where his letter hummed inside my pillowcase where he left it, whether I brought it to college or kept it at home, or it sat soundly in my new apartment. His words were always there, spilling into my dreams and dancing with me through our memories; tangled tongues and limbs, wild nights and passionate mornings...

I'd wake up feeling hot to the touch and missing him completely.

Thankfully those days were few and far in between, and for a while I'd stopped thinking of him altogether.

But of course, it turns out that Spencer Reid is in fact, pretty damn inevitable.

That bar downtown was packed, so it was a wonder I'd even ran into him of all people in the first place. What he was doing there I didn't know. And neither do I now, because from the moment we laid eyes on each other, it was this constant state of shell-shock and fire, nothing else. He asked briefly about Mom, I told him she'd been married for four years, and then he joked about how he was surprised I hadn't tried to steal him from her.

Naturally, with that ever so playful look in his eye practically taunting me, I played to his joke and responded with a sultry smile, "The only one I ever wanted to steal was you, Doctor..."

The rest wasn't exactly a blur, but all I'm going to say is that we spent the rest of our time together at his apartment, "catching up on lost time"... And as much as I'd grown out of the submissive role sexually over the years, I found myself crawling back, submitting to him like I'd done it a million times over. And, really, I might as well have.

It's like we'd never stopped.

That being said, I declined his offer to stay the night and told him to give me a call some time before I left to go back to Seattle. Though, not without giving him a thousand goodbye kisses that were rather counterproductive.

Thinking about it makes my cheeks burn hot, though thankfully it's summer, and Mom won't have to question it. Though, if she does, I suppose I could keep it short and sweet and tell her the truth at the very least: that I met up with an old friend who showed me a good time.

"Hey'a, Sweetpea," she greets with a bright wave. She and Adam are obviously a little tipsy, more than me by the looks of it, but I pay it no mind. "How was you're night?"

"Great! Went to a few bars downtown, met up with some friends..."

"Oh, good, well we're glad you got back safe."

I snag a bottle of water and an apple from the fridge, then turn back around to see Mom and Adam snuggled in, sharing a smile that would make even the happiest person on the planet sick to their stomach.

Oddly enough, it reminds me of back then, when she was with Spencer, happier than ever and completely oblivious to what was going on in her daughter's life.

The thought makes my stomach flutter, taking me back to earlier in the night when he had his hands tangled in my hair and his mouth attached to my skin, spewing filthy words and praises that had me begging for more...

"I missed you, princess," he whispers, holding himself deep inside me. His fingers brush the matted hair from my face, revealing more of my saccharine smile and eyes that swim with mischief.

"I missed you too," I whine, reaching out and grabbing handfuls of his ass, shoving him even farther inside me and wrapping my legs around him tighter. "...Daddy..."

Spencer loses all semblance of cool, pulling back and slamming into me with full force. I—

"Y/N?"

I blink away his memory, reminding myself of where I am and what I'm doing, finding Mom looking at me with a curious gleam in her eye.

"What are you thinking about?"

With a small smile, I nod in her direction. "Oh, uh... You'll never believe who I ran into tonight."

———

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[broadwayandnetflix]

i have a request for bo burnham!!:) maybe like the reader and bo watch the special when he gets done editing it and doing all the other stuff he has to do for it, and he records her reaction to the whole thing and that’s how he announces the special?? i know that’s weird but it’s been stuck in my head, so you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!

Test Run - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: FLUFF (angst if you like squint)

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: y’all I wrote this so fast, like kachow. I hope you enjoyed it, and got a break from all of the angst. but angst is still good. but this fic is not me fangirling over inside. never, couldn’t be me. I hope you enjoyed the fic though @bos-a-feminist I had sm fun writing it.

It had been late one evening when Bo had practically burst into the door of your bedroom. You sat puzzled as you gave the man time to catch his breath, as he gave you an eager look.

Trying not to giggle as Bruce yipped at Bo’s feet in pure excitement, it seemed he too was trying to figure out what was going on.

“What? Are we finally gonna have sex again?” you say humorously, causing the man to break composure for just a second.

“No! I mean what the fuck? Yes, yes, and to answer your question, yes. But not right now.”

You giggle as he looks at you with an expression you couldn’t fully decipher. In any constellation, it had been months since you had seen the man this energetic.

Usually, when Bo would come back from his long days in the guest house, he’d tend to be exhausted. Often just giving you a quick kiss before collapsing onto the mattress.

His blue eyes softening towards you as he extends his hand for you to take. Which made you realize that there was an ounce of seriousness in his actions.

Your hands fitting perfectly in his as he pulls you up from the bed, one hand making sure to hold the small of your back.

“Where are we going?” you breathe out.

Bo remained silent, but you found out soon enough as he led you outside to the guest house.

You had stopped dead in your tracks, causing him to do the same. Eyes widening as you realized what was gonna happen, turning to Bo and giving him the biggest grin you could muster.

From the minute he had set foot in the guest house to begin his special, he had been very secretive about it. Something about how it helped him to create something that no one really knew about.

I mean, you had some idea when the UPS trucks kept delivering camera equipment. Or when he had asked if he could take some of your clothes. Other than that, though, top secret.

It had been about roughly a little over a year when he had started the special. A year of emotions and hard work, and by the looks of it.

It seemed as though he had finished.

“Wait are you doing what I think you are doing?” you say, looking at him expectedly.

“Shit babe you catch on quick. Yes, if we are on the same mindset. I think we are, now hush, or I’ll never get to show you it.” Bo instructs before leading you inside.

In all honesty, you didn’t know what to expect. The last time you had seen the guest house had been roughly two years ago. Now? It looked completely different.

Wires and different camera equipment lay waste on the floor, making it almost a hazard. Other lights of various types and sizes filled the room like mini metal trees. It looked disorganized and yet organized at the same time.

Yet Bo walked through the maze of equipment with ease, almost as if it wasn’t even there. You smiled before tiptoeing to the clearing that Bo had made for you.

“Yeah apologies, I wasn’t expecting company.” Bo smirks as you break into laughter.

“It looks…well it looks well used.” you reply, getting comfortable on the chair he had provided.

In front of you sat a projection on the wall of what seemed to be an editing software. You looked back at Bo with an eager grin; he gives you a slight wink.

Anticipation settling in the air as you watched him mess around with the monitor. Until his cursor finally presses on a folder and a video screen pulls up.

You half expected him to sit beside you. Still, instead, he remains behind the computer, amongst his sea of technological instruments and cameras.

“Y/N, I’m showing this to you. Simply because you deserve to see why I’ve been so busy for like a year or more. Plus, you mean the world to me and I wanna know your input.”

Bo says softly. You can detect a hint of nerves in his actions and tone; you practically melt, realizing that was he anxious. Regardless you knew without a shadow of a doubt you were gonna love whatever he puts out.

You open your mouth to reply before he presses play, and an eerie ringing fills the room. Music filling your senses as the special, titled Inside, plays before you.

The next hour or two fills you with a multitude of emotions that you can’t quite place. It seemed like Bo was making you laugh seconds ago, and now you can’t help but feel tears well up in your eyes.

Cinematically it was stunning, breathtaking even. It was hard to believe that Bo had turned the little guest house into a studio. Or at least to the extent that it became, with its gorgeous displays and production.

Performance-wise, it was a completely different ballpark. Bo fucking delivered in more ways than one, whether in humor or just pure raw emotion.

Acting or not, it broke your heart to see the man you loved so dearly in the state that he was in. Of course, you could tell something was up even then when he was filming, but he never gave away the extent of it.

Just hearing him cry made your stomach twist in knots; you wanted to comfort him. Only to be reminded that it was just merely a video of him.

Even at the moment, it took you everything not to look back at Bo; you knew how much he valued your attention. Plus, you wanted to experience the special in full, just as you would if he were on stage.

The special wasn’t the same as his others, but it was well needed for a time like this. It felt personal and introspective, but it was also oh so clever and in-depth. You adored it and the time and effort that he had put into it.

As the credits rolled out and you saw an acknowledgment for your name, your heart soared.

You knew that the two of you had worked hard to be there for each other the past year. Especially with everything that was going on and Bo working most of the time.

To know that you had helped him in any shape or form. It just meant a lot, in more ways than he’d ever know.

The lights in the room flickered on as if he had made a make-shift movie theatre. You wiped away any stray tears, and before he could even say anything, you ran into his arms.

Bo jolting back in surprise before accepting the embrace and holding you tighter into his chest. His head resting gently on top of yours due to his taller stature.

“God I love you so much, more than you’ll ever know. I seriously don’t know if I would’ve made it out alive this past year if I didn’t have you.” he croaked into your hold.

It took you a second to realize that the man was crying, and you pulled away to meet his eyes. Your fingers brushing away his tears before reaching up to give him a kiss.

His figure bending down just a tad to meet your lips as he kisses you back sweetly. It’s light and yet so filled with passion for making up for what time that had been lost.

Yet as he looks down at you, a smile etching across his lips. As he asks you about what your thoughts are on his special, he already knows your response.

Unbeknownst to you, he had recorded your entire viewing experience. Of course, if he were to ever share it anywhere, he’d ask your permission, but it was apparent.

Even as you told him how much you loved it and how much you enjoyed it. You knew that he knew that you understood the special the way he had intended it.

It was one of the many things that made him adore you endlessly. You meant the world to him.

“We should celebrate babe! Maybe order a pizza or something.” you exclaim, arms still wrapped around his neck in your embrace.

“We definitely should, but what pizza places are open at this hour?” Bo smirks as you give him a slight frown.

“I don’t know, that’s a good question.” you hesitate.

“Actually I do know one place that’s really good and delivers.” Bo whispers seductively up against your ear.

You giggle and gesture for him to continue as he swiftly pulls away from your hold. His hand outstretched for you to take once again as he leads you towards the house. Or, more importantly, towards your bedroom.

“Me.”

——————————————————————------------------------------------

Bo sat anxiously beside you as his fingers lingered over the ‘post’ button on his different social media accounts.

The post in question was a video that he stitched together of you watching the special. With your consent, of course.

It had been edited together to be vague enough that he wouldn’t spoil the special. But nonetheless, it was sweet, and he totally made sure to include you tearing up in it.

You made it a priority to tackle him for that one.

The video was sweet and short, but it got the intended message across, and you personally loved it, just like you loved Bo and the special.

“Any-day now Robert.” you tease as you hold his one hand in yours.

“Do you think that they’ll wanna watch it?” he whispers quietly.

“Of course they will, it’s you. Baby you are so talented, your fans will be so excited.” you reassure.

Bo sighs before squeezing your one hand tightly before pressing the button. And letting Inside out into the world.

[sortasirius]

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me.  Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based.  In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place.  Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!”  Bruh.  The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode.  You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season).  Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here.  Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone.  He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else.  That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit.  This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this.  That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS.  AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all.  Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this?  I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20?  AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT?  WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half?  Nothing really happened?  Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around.  It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it.  The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery.  Truly, that is the only thing.  It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper​ got a week or so before the finale.  She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right?  It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc.  The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.”  Uh.  Where are they?  And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So.  Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

????????  That’s the end if it?  They don’t need to be discussed after this???  It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too?  Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay?  Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else.  They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else.  Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here.  What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right.  Weird as fuck.  Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas?  My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene.  Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back.  Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it.  Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad.  It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway.  He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here).  Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying.  My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair​ spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven.  The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago.  We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread).  The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here.  Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here.  Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions.  Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was.  None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why?  Why lie to all of us when we have questions?  Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense.  Simply?  Warner Brothers is absolutely massive.  These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs.  They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha.  It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him.  He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids.  It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then. 

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram.  It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other. 

My theory?  They didn’t know.  They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all?  Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so.  I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God.  I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read.  He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that?  Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys.  Why would he get involved?  He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is.  He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam.  I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to.  So what changed?  What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious?  CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South.  It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And?  They don’t care.  They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects​ wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here).  They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line.  And you know what?  To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what?  They warned us.  I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network.  I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want?  Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy.   In fact, to the people trashing them?  You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb.  Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them.  The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this,  Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

[lilydrangea]

My thoughts on Sonic 2

YOOOOOOOOOO I just got out of my first viewing of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (cuz we got it early in Germany) and I wanted to share my thoughts fresh of the press and piping hot.

(Don’t worry, I put all the spoilers below the thingie.)

One thing I can say without spoiling anything: I laughed when I saw the three posters in the theater. (translation as follows)

Knuckles: 2 times as strong

Sonic: 2 times as fast

Tails: 2 times as fluffy

Also, there is no second post credit scene. But the movie was such a blast that you’ll probably sit through them anyway just in sheer awe of what you have just witnessed.

- Nice how they made a new Paramount ring logo rather than just reusing the one from the first film

- Clever way of showing Eggman’s ingenuity with his Rube Goldberg utilities and traps.

- Applause for that Shiitake joke.

- How much you wanna bet that those obvious humans in silly suits, who are apparently pals of Knuckles, will receive zero context or explanation? *TWO HOURS LATER* Yep, just as I thought.

- They actually referenced Da Wae, Jeff Fowler you madlad

- More scenes of Sonic’s room are always a good thing

- More Sanic and fart jokes *insert George Takei Oh my here*

- Times they could have used the drowning music but didn’t #1

- So Longclaw really did die... that’s sad.

- Nice reworking of an innocuous detail from the first film into a plot point

- UPTOWN FUNK LET’S GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!11111111

- Sonic made the dance scene good, great and awesome, and then Tails made it outstanding and amazing.

- One of the very few criticisms I have with this movie is the beginning feeling a tad rushed. Like, it would have been nice to see a flashback to Tails being bullied and feeling like a lonely freak rather than just having him tell us this. I suppose the comic tie in is supposed to fill in the gaps, but it’s most likely not going to be released here.

- Also, Tails canonically watches Sonic as he bathes.

- I’ll say it now, the cabin scene is my favourite in the entire movie.

- “Kids, there’s nothing more cool then being hugged by someone you like. But if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s no good.”

- With just one word, heck not even really a word, Knuckles manages to make Jim Carrey Eggman look like a bore by comparison.

- Knuckles’ father here was a better dad in one scene than Locke was throughout Penders’ entire run.

- Sonic has the most Gen Z energy I’ve ever seen.

- GUN are total shits.

- Tails wins by doing absolutely nothing.

- Didn’t this film have a hedgehog in it? I could have sworn- oh there he is.

- Sonic is Jesus now.

- Times they could have used the tunes of concentrated anxiety but didn’t #2

- For a movie called Sonic Vs Knuckles in Japan there wasn’t as much bad blood between them as I thought.

- Times they could have made Honest Trailers’ prediction come true but didn’t #3

- Sonknux shippers are going to meem this scene to heck I just know it.

- Knuckles yeets himself into oblivion.

- Stone continues to be a simp.

- Nice trick with the missile Sonic.

- ♫ Sonic Heroes! Sonic Heroes! ♫

- The return of the dance off! YAAASSSSSS!!!!

- If I had a euro for every time Robotnik has turned himself into a god and Knuckles was the one who took that power away from him I’d have three euro. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened thrice.

- OMG, the Chaos Emeralds are so TINY!

- Wait are they actually... Yo, Super Sonic looks incredible!

- As a huge Sonic the Comic fangirl, that bait and switch they pulled was one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen.

- “You finally had all seven Chaos Emeralds together, and you threw them away?!” “Exactly!” “Eh, that’s fair.”

- I take back what I said before, I'm having a hard time if I like this scene or the cabin scene more.

- SONIC CALLED TOM DAD I CANT EVEN

- Nice callback to the baseball scene from the first movie. Great to see how much this boy has grown.

- Idris Elba wasn’t lying when he said the Knuckles ice cream scene was great.

- This movie in general has some of the funniest lines I’ve ever seen.

- I love the updated classic sonic sprite with the blue arms. It looks so good.

- Shadow being the one to be featured in the post credit scene didn’t surprise me. I’d already been spoiled on the fact that another Sonic charecter was featured in it, and he, Amy and Metal Sonic were the only candidates I could think of.

- Doesn’t this raise some plot holes with the events of the first movie? Because Commander Walters says he knows about Project Shadow, yet he had no clue what was going on when Sonic caused that EMP with his chaos energy.

- Shadow looks really cool though.

- I’m wondering how the 16 bit credits in the third movie are going to work, because unlike Sonic, Tails and Knuckles, he doesn’t have a classic form and his design is a bit too complex for that.

- Wondering how they’ll adapt his mess of a backstory.

- Also, it’s so obvious that he wasn’t given any lines so that could leave it a surprise as to who will voice him.

So in summary: I’ve found my new favourite movie.

[mystic-sky]

|✨Part 1✨| |✨Part 2 ✨| of the Friends with Benefits Series.

Your relationship with Suguru started off somewhat unexpectedly. A new semester romance, however it was unwanted after dealing with Satoru Gojo just last year. You tried not to blame yourself for the situation unraveling the way it did. You did your best to make Satoru comfortable with you- at least you thought you did.

He cut you off as soon as you made your feelings apparent. You wondered if he somehow did it for your own good, or maybe there was something deeper that went along with it. No matter, you remained optimistic. You were young, and bound to make mistakes. This was just a story to tell your children about in the future if you ever felt it was necessary.

But back to Suguru, who had wiggled his way into your life somehow. He wasn’t a random guy actually. More like a familiar face you’d seen in a few of your classes because you both were in the same major. Just so recently, he decided to talk to you.

You weren’t expecting to hit it off with him so easily. He was sort of scary looking, which led you not to engage with him in the first place. He never tried talking to you before 5 months ago. And neither did you, considering you thought he was so handsome he’d break your heart too somehow.

His arms were sleeved with tattoos that would bridge at his chest. The tattoos would sometimes peak out of his wide collared shirts if he chose to wear one that day. He had a thing for wearing these huge ear gauges that had his favorite anime on them. Though, you never noticed until you sat close enough to him to see the designs. It was a rainy day, and both of you ended up sitting beside each other in your sociology course in the back of the classroom. You were both late, having come in just after the other.

It was weird seeing him this close. He never did come late to any class you’d ever been in with him. Even if you wanted to sit with him, like Satoru, he never had any available seats beside him. He didn’t disturb you until the lecture ended, commenting on one of your anime themed mechanical pencils. That sparked your first conversation with him, and he wasn’t shy to ask you out for coffee right after.

He’s been keen on you since, and you just barely give him the time of day in the beginning. You were just cautious, after the whole Satoru situation. Suguru was fine with whatever you wanted the situation between you both to be. But you will admit, the conversations he’d keep you up with at night made it hard to not fall in love with him.

He’d take you out to dinner, study with you, and sleep with you from time to time since the sexual attraction between you was hard to deny. You think your favorite thing about messing around with Suguru was how he’d always pick your brain after sex with manga theories and better endings than the canonically debuted ones. He was a really good cook, and you often challenged him to make your favorite dishes. They were excuses to invite you over to his place, so he gladly took each one with merit. It was friends with benefits but with far much more substance to hold onto.

He never poked you about getting serious. Whatever you both had was still young at barely 5 months. He could tell you’d been going through something mostly because of how you sexed him. Sometimes you were the dominant one- you’d throw him on the bed and bounce yourself on his length until your knees were far too tired to go on. Other times, he’d steal the show from you, showing you just exactly what he was capable of.

He spread you onto the desk in his bedroom, face deep into your folds. He also loved to spoil you, like Satoru, but you did your best not to think of him when you both were together. Suguru had so much more hair to grab, considering his tongue work was so good it scared you.

“Be a good kitten and cum for me.” He said between sucks on your clit. You often couldn’t think, and that was a good thing. He numbed you in plenty of ways, he knew he had been helping you get over something. He had been doing the same thing but you could care less.

“Actually, I changed my mind.” He tore his mouth from your steaming sex, wiping his chin. You gasp as he lifts you up off the desk, holding your body without leaning against anything for support. You felt weightless, feeling his length prod at your entrance. You tried to hold back a giggle as he smiled smugly at you.

“You ready?” His eyes were sincere, asking for your consent again as he was aching to sink you onto himself.

You nod, feeling a bit nervous. “Stuff like this is about balance. Start flailing around again and I’ll drop you.” He teased. Your hands found some of his hair again, tugging on it a bit.

“Just fuck me.” You roll your eyes as he slams his length into you, making you cry out and clutch your arms around him. His large hands firmly grasp underneath your thighs, using the way your ass recoiled against his thighs to keep a steady rhythm. He’s immersed in the way your broken moans pour into his ear, fueling his stamina. He’s a stickler for teasing you the entire time, praising you for taking his length so well.

“Such a good kitten, you’re taking it so well.”

It was the third time he’d ever held you up to fuck you. After letting go of the fear of him dropping you it became incredibly easy to focus on the pleasure.

“You’re gonna cum aren’t you? Don’t worry about the carpet baby, make a mess for me.”

He knew how to mix things up the way you needed. On your rough days he’d sex you slowly, more passionately and generously. If you were happy and feeling frisky he’d fuck you accordingly. He was pretty good at reading your body just after the first few fucks you had. You hated comparing the two men, but it did happen from time to time when you were in solitude, plagued by your own self-deprecating thoughts every now and then.

It was weird how they emanated each other’s personalities in certain ways. And then you found out that they used to be good friends in high school until something happened. You never poked Suguru about it, since he’d seem to get irritated when you were around groups of friends and Satoru’s name was mentioned. You did your best to be satisfied with what you had. He was handsome, smart, and possibly wanted to be your boyfriend in due time.

But you couldn’t help but think about Satoru. Not only was your experience with him a wild one, but he was fucking everywhere. It’s always like this for you. It’s not until you’re trying to avoid someone do you begin seeing them absolutely everywhere.

You stared at Satoru over Suguru’s shoulder, poking your cheek with your tongue. The audacity he had, showing up in the cafe where you both first met while you and Suguru were on a routine study date. Well, it was a hotspot for a lot of students, so who are you to say he can’t come in here.

“I think I’m overworking myself today, we can go eat now.” Your mood change was evident to Suguru, but he couldn’t put his finger on why at first. He watched you get up and pack your things before shortly following.

As you tossed your bag over your shoulders, he took hold of one of your hands, squeezing firmly. He pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze.

“Is it something I can cheer you up from when we get back to my place?” Suguru was a bit smug about it, and also painfully intuitive about your emotions even though you’d been close for such a short time. Your cheeks went red, eyes burning holes through the floor.

“It’s nothing, really. Let’s just get out of here.” You manage to look back at him, just barely glancing at Satoru who probably had been looking in this direction. Suguru pressed another kiss to your forehead, wrapping his arm around you and leading you out the cafe. He nearly touched shoulders with Satoru and his own dame, smirking just loudly enough for him to hear.

Suguru wasn’t dumb, finally having noticed your energy change just a few moments after Satoru Gojo entered the cafe. This was your favorite place, and he hated how someone could ever ruin that for you. He felt urged to do something about it- with or without your consent. He doesn’t poke you about it until you’re in the car.

“Random question, but do you know Satoru Gojo?”

The question like a pin in your spine, making you visibly un-slouch in the drivers seat. He doesn’t look at you, feeling that would make it easier for you to talk. You take this the wrong way, and feel even more tense.

“I do, we were a thing at one point.” You manage not to stutter. You had no idea why you felt scared or touchy about the subject- you shouldn’t be. His entire vibe had changed, and he didn’t have his usual grin peaking at the corners of his lips.

“Oh,” he says simply. The longest ten seconds of silence reign throughout the vehicle. You’re anxious to turn on the radio, anything to rid the first bit of awkwardness the two of you had ever shared.

“He’s an asshole, isn’t he?” He randomly chuckles heartily, somewhat calming you.

“Yeah,” you’re exhaling properly now, “he really is.”

“We were best friends for about four years. I know him like the back of my hand. Granted, he’s probably changed a lot since high school.”

“But you’re both so-

“Different?” He chuckled. “Yeah, I know.”

“If he was an asshole then, he’s multiplied tenfold.” You roll your eyes. “You both don’t talk anymore?”

You knew they didn’t, but you took the opportunity to ask anyway.

“Nah, he’s a slimy bastard. I hope karma turns him rotten.” You’d never seen Suguru scowl before. He must really hate him, you thought. Still, what a small world; first Satoru and now his ex best friend.

“You still talk to him?” He pokes again. His tone is just barely playful. God, you changed your mind. You didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

“No, we don’t talk anymore. It ended pretty badly.” You say simply. You also decided not tell Suguru that the both of you messed around just before you started messing with him.

“Sorry about that. If we were friends sooner I’d have told you about him.” Suguru is apologizing for something you weren’t entirely ignorant about in the first place. You knew what you were getting into.

Satoru never tried to convince you the situation was anything other than what it was— until the end. The sweet things he started saying to you during those final months often echoed in your head- like he meant all of it.

The sex developed into something that it shouldn’t have. Sex that passionate should be forbidden if you aren’t already in love. And the things he said to you the last time he dropped you off didn’t make it any better. You wanted to slap his stupid, pretty face.

“I’m over it now.”

Suguru pans his gaze to watch you nonchalantly staring out the window. He knew better than to ask anymore. He was more elated that you didn’t interact with him at all. He didn’t need Satoru painting a picture about him in your head before he could first.

What sucks the most about dating people you go to school with is how often you’d see them. Satoru was fucking everywhere. The local restaurants, the library, the cafe, and he’d registered for two of your classes this semester. He didn’t speak to you at all, but he was always just there. Perhaps he’d always been around but since you’d been involved with him you were more aware of his presence.

You were standing in line in the library, attempting to return some books. He entered the space, and walked up behind you, standing on the line and giving your space. You turn your body slightly, peering up at him. You thought to leave, but just because you resented him didn’t mean you were going to cower every time you had to be around him for a while. You let out a sigh as you tip toed to peer in front of yourself; at least the line was moving.

Both of you had made it to the front, talking to separate librarians beside one another. When they both got up from their seats to head towards the back, he spoke directly to you, without actually looking at you.

“(Name), word of advice— I’d steer clear of Getou Suguru if I were you.”

Anger poured over you; you did your best to keep your voice low and eyes forward when saying this.

“That’s the first thing you say to me after almost a year? Go fuck yourself.”

He bites back a witty response, poking his cheek with his tongue. “Whatever. Find out the hard way.”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve. Why the fuck are you telling me this?” You’re whisper-shouting, considering it’s a library.

“Because,” he turns to look at you, “I care about you.”

“What a load of shit.”

Satoru Gojo doesn’t care about anyone, you learned that the hard way.

He let out a sigh. He knew he had no right, but even if he couldn’t get you back, he wanted you to know what kind of guy you were seeing. He couldn’t say anything, he knew you wouldn’t listen. Not like this anyway. Both librarians returned, and gave you back your borrowing passes. You quickly departed, refusing to give Satoru another opportunity to speak to you. His words stuck with you on the way home. You didn’t have any reason to be afraid of Suguru, right?

Two months had passed since Satoru had “warned” you about Suguru. And nothing has happened to lead you to be cautious of him. Satoru hasn’t spoken to you either.

You’re sitting in the guidance counselor’s office as it’s the end of the semester once again. You typed away on your phone, telling Suguru you’d see him for dinner in a bit before throwing your head back and shutting your eyes. The heaviest sigh left your lungs, you were thankful the semester was nearing its end. You had quite enough of studying and needed to unwind.

You feel a presence on the end of your bench, making you open one eye. You see white tresses, and you catch the scent of familiar cologne.

Satoru doesn’t look at you, but he’s quite aware that he’s sitting beside you as well. You almost scoff, only crossing your arms and legs. Noticing the undone laces of your boots, you lean forward to tie it. Your loose bag on your shoulder which unfortunately wasn’t zipped, spilled small notebooks and pencils all over the floor. Spare change rolled across the walk way along with other items.

“Fuck...” you muttered. His head snapped towards you as you let out a sigh and bent down to pick up your things. Your phone that was your on your lap hit the ground as well. You saw his hand in the corner of your eye reaching down to help.

“I got it.” You say sternly, and shamelessly picking up your things. He retracts his hand, and instead gets up to pick up the items that were further away from you, ignoring your request not to help.

He sits back beside you, handful of change and pens. He holds it up towards you quietly while you attempt to fix your bag back to the way it was. You turn to look at him for what feels like the first time in forever, blue eyes pouring into your own (eye color) ones.

“I didn’t need you to do that.” You say, taking your things. You initially thought to take your things from him without a word. He went back to staring in front of himself, waiting to be called. You shifted uncomfortably, and fidgeted with your fingernails. You forced yourself into to pay attention to the soft music playing from the back of the office until he spoke.

“How have you been?”

For some odd reason though, you wanted him to say something to you. You had a lot of things to let off your chest considering the way things ended. You thought of giving him a piece of your mind right there in front of all the staff members, but you restrained yourself.

Instead, you found yourself saying “I’m doing great.”

“That’s good.” He says nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t even sound sure of his own response. A few minutes of silence resumes after. You’re a bit startled when speaks again.

“I’m definitely out of line right now, but I’ve been wanting to talk to you about some things.”

“What could we possibly have to talk about?” A lot. You were bubbling over.

“There’s a lot of things, at least for me, that I’ve never really told you.” He’s looking at you now. “Can we talk somewhere quieter? Whenever you’ve got the free time, and only if you want to.”

He was offering closure to you a bit too late. Or maybe all this time you’d convinced yourself you’d moved on. You often found yourself replaying the morning he brought you home and all the things you should’ve said in that moment.

That’s not exactly moving on. Unfortunately, you also found yourself comparing him to Suguru more often then not. That’s not moving on either.

“Okay,” you said. “Later on today. Round 8pm.”

He looks thankful. Just as he spoke, your counselor called out to you to come into their office. You stand up, looking down at him.

“Cafe then?” He suggests.

“That’s fine. See you.” You shrugged. You didn’t care that much for the place. You heard him say goodbye as the door shut behind you.

You had half a mind to never speak to him ever again. Though both of you were using each other, he knowingly crossed a line, making you feel things for him in a situation where feelings weren’t supposed to be involved. And he never gave you a chance to truly address the situation. Now, almost a year later, he’s ready to speak to you on his own terms. You’d be sure to tell him you had no intentions of making amends with him. If you personally didn’t have interest in what he had to say, you wouldn’t bother gracing him with the ability to explain anything to you.

You would’ve made him suffer. He’s lucky you’re still a bit distraught about the situation. Any longer into your situation-ship with Suguru and Satoru wouldn’t even have the slightest chance at something like this.

Dinner with Suguru was transparent. He could tell something was on your mind but he didn’t pry much after his first attempt. The last time you both talked about Satoru he turned into a different person, and it didn’t sit right with you. You did your best to brush it off, assuming he was just protective over you. But Satoru’s warning in the library echoed in your subconscious more and more. Just what happened between them, and would it be okay for you to ask Suguru about it?

He wasn’t your boyfriend either, but you suppose he wanted to be? You hadn’t brought up the dating conversation in while and you probably wouldn’t until you situated the Satoru thing.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Suguru’s holding your face, brushing your hair out of your eyes. His smile is incredibly gentle and you feel guilty for keeping this from him.

Perhaps you should hold Suguru accountable too, for being so sweet to you like this. He informed you he wouldn’t up and leave unless you wanted him to and that he’d never say anything he didn’t mean. But after dealing with trauma from past relationships, affection like this was always perceived cautiously.

“I know,” you say, feeling his lips press against your forehead again. “It’s just not easy to talk about right now.”

“That’s alright,” he assures you. “I’m here whenever you’re ready.”

His lips connect with yours while his hands slide down your back. He feels you relax a bit, and that makes him smile. How could he possibly be a bad person?

“I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

You nod, watching him part from you and get into his car. You never did come to understand how he could afford it; a black Mercedes Benz-Coupe. You assumed that and his nice apartment were inherited wealth from his parents.

You wave at him before going into the station. Luckily he had things to attend to, and you didn’t have to bother making up anything about tonight. It was just barely any of his business, right?

You had an idea of what to expect from Satoru when you got there. You were rehearsing things you wanted to say in your head, some of them incredibly mean. You wanted to hurt his feelings too, if you had it in you. It didn’t take you long to get to the cafe, and you’d arrived early, already finding Satoru in the very back, furthest away from people. You gripped your bag strap, before sitting across from him.

“Hey, you’re early.” He says surprised, looking up at you from his phone.

“You’re the early one.” You say, not even cracking a smile.

“How are you?”

“Same as earlier. What did you want to talk about?”

He’s visibly gulping, and you’ve never seen him this nervous. He places his phone face down on the table, turning the sound off. You cross your arms.

“Right,” he lets out a heavy sigh. “Where should I start?” He attempts to gather his thoughts, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“I’m not the kind of guy who really addresses his feelings, if you couldn’t already tell at the time we, you know... I’ve been fucked over a lot. I don’t have a lot of actual friends, and I’m constantly aware that people cling to me for my money or looks.”

He never acted like his entourages bothered him per se, but you did notice that he never bothered being around people anymore when the two of you were a thing. You prompt him to continue with your eyes.

“The only best friend I’ve ever had used me until I realized what was going on and cut him off. The first girl I ever really loved chose him instead of me shortly afterwards. Obviously, it’s not a legitimate excuse to have treated you the way that I did, but I guess what I’m saying is that I’m cautious of people and have been for a long time now.”

“But I never tried to use you,” you interjected. You felt a bit insensitive for spitting it out like that, but he really did hurt you.

“I know, and I realized that a bit too late.” He sighs. “But more importantly, I realized that I didn’t talk about or convey my feelings correctly. I know I confused you a lot, and you didn’t deserve that at all.” He tried to keep eye contact with you when he spoke, but your lion like force was pretty strong.

“And when I dropped you off— I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You were so much more than a warm body to me. You were the first real friend I’ve had in a long time. Things got so cloudy for me since we were sleeping together. I didn’t know how to address it, and it freaked me out when you told me you wanted more. I should’ve been elated, but I suppose I didn’t want my heart broken again either.”

“So basically...” He breathed out, “I’m really sorry. I’ve got some messy emotions, things I’m gradually learning to deal with. I’m not making excuses for myself. It’s just I never did talk about myself much when we were a thing, so I wanted to tell you something at least, and apologize. I hated the way I left things. I know it’s long overdue for an apology but...”

“But?”

“I still have feelings for you. I never stopped. The more time passed, the harder it made it for me to apologize and tell you how I feel. And then I noticed you were going out with... him, so I thought it was too late. But I still wanted to try, I guess.”

He looked so awkward, you almost laughed. Apologies were definitely foreign to him. You could tell he meant it, but even so, he wouldn’t be getting a relationship out of you, if that’s want he wanted.

You let out a large sigh. For some weird reason all the angry things you wanted to say wouldn’t come out. You wanted to be angry at him but you just couldn’t. And your heart was swelling at the idea of him still having feelings for you. Did he really mean that?

“We’re not together. Not yet anyway— it’s complicated.” You crossed your legs and leant back in your seat. Suguru probably would’ve been your boyfriend already if you weren’t so stuck on Satoru.

“Oh,” he said quietly. You’d never seen him look so small, it was definitely out of character for him.

“I forgive you,” you lean forward, holding your head in your hands. All this time and you still had soft spot for him.

“Really?” He’s surprised. Your friends will be too after you tell them this story.

“You want me to take it back?” You’re pinching the bridge of your nose.

He chuckles nervously. “No ma’am.”

“Are you... doing okay though?” He probes after noticing the stress in your brows.

“I can’t stay mad at you. And I want to so bad. It’d make my life simpler. Now I’m conflicted.” You drag your fingers under your eyes, before smooshing your own face, stressfully so. He thought you were cute, but he felt bad being the source of your distraught-ness.

“So I take it you still have feelings for me?” His voice is regular now, and just barely his normal cocky tone.

You won’t even look at him. “I mean...”

How do you explain to him that the only reason you’re messing with someone right now, who just so happens to be his ex-best friend, is because you were trying to forget about him in the first place?

“I get it if you don’t.” He says. “It’s been a while.”

“I do.” It’s almost instinct for you to correct him. “That’s the problem.”

“Ah, I see.” He’s rubbing the back of his neck again. You wished you could start over with a clean slate. School and dating shouldn’t be this difficult.

Satoru thought to warn you again about Suguru in that moment, but he held his tongue. He didn’t want to make it seem as if he was badmouthing him so you could favor him more, he wanted you to lean towards him naturally, if possible.

Silence reigned throughout your little booth in the cafe. The sound of rain hitting the window screen made it easy not to talk so much. It also made it hard to see a certain black, long-haired male in his Mercedes Benz, parked just across the street.

Suguru threw his cigarette out the driver’s window, continuing to watch the both of you inside. He shook his head disappointedly before starting his car.

“And that reminds me,” you say, making Satoru swallow hard and shift in his seat.

“What was that nonsense two months prior, about Geto Suguru?”