#i’m outie 5000 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yourbestpalpercy · 8 months ago

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Next day, rather early, Everest was woken up by Tartar messing with the lights.

*Click*

*Cli-*

��Y-Yes!? What! What do you want!?” Everest snapped at Tartar suddenly. She had figured it was one of the octarians. They seemed like the kind of people to do that. Upon seeing Tartar standing there however, she covered her mouth, “O-Oh! Uh- Tar-..” Everest took a breath in through gritted teeth, “Sorry…” Everest carefully climbed out of bed. Her golfclub sat beside her bed, easy to access and use if ever she needed it. Everest quickly grabbed it as she approached Tartar. Perhaps…she should start calling him by his title though.

“Eh,” Commander Tartar only shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t really mind, I’ve heard people be much, much ruder,” Commander Tartar signaled Everest to follow him. Everest tripped over the blanket as she did before peeling it off of her and following Tartar.

Everest’s white hair almost blended in with the white walls. Her pale skin barely made her stand out among the walls as well. “You’ve got your first test today. Believe me, most of them are going to be agility based. I had CQ install a way for you to easily climb back up into the course if you so happen to fall off like you did yesterday. Just find the closest ladder. But believe me, it’ll dock points, okay?” Everest, admittedly, was really paying attention to what Tartar had to say.

Until Tartar snapped Everest back to attention by snapping his fingers, “This zoning out thing you do is pretty common, hm?” Everest stared up at Tartar.

“Yeah. It was so easy to tone people out on the mountain. I’m trying to do that with all the extra voices.”

“Ah, well, it could be louder, you should see this place on a holiday. Hm, Halloween perhaps?”

The sound around instantly got just a little to a lot louder.

“They love Halloween. It’s their favorite holiday actually! I’d honestly like to try something on this coming halloween. Apparently, I made quite the name for myself. Or people are just stupid. I went to the store recently to get some food for down here and I found a costume titled ‘Evil Telephone’! It was alarming at first and I guess an employee noticed my panic because they came over to explain it was close to Halloween and that the store had decided to start putting out Halloween costumes early. I wanted to scare that employee so badly and insult how crappy the outfit looked but I decided not to,” Tartar only shrugged as he popped open the base’s door.

“Cool uh-, would the same occur for me? Could I go out without a costume?”

“HA! Ehheehe-!” Tartar started laughing, sparing a glance at Everest’s face. “Oh! You’re serious, here, let me laugh harder! BWAhahahahahHEHAHEEHAHA!!” Tartar snorted and laughed harder at what Everest had to say.

Everest only responded with a huff and crossed her arms.

“Ah, lighten up, Everest, maybe when that cult of yours leaves the mountains, humanity can be restored and you can be outside again,” Tartar hummed as the Outie 5000 pulled back up.

Everest approached the doors, having expected Tartar to stay in the station. A stab of panic shot through her when Tartar entered afterwards and sat down on the plastic seats. “You- uh- you’re coming with??” Everest placed her golfclub beside her.

“Uhm- duh! I need to be there to monitor the tests. CQ is going to be extremely busy today and so, I need to watch over the tests,” Tartar explained, only getting a sarcastic nod from Everest.

“Sure, and you’re not just there to see your “Human Child”,” Everest did air quotes and mocked Mr. Grizz’s voice best she could, “Do tests because you’re proud?”

Tartar only responded by shaking his head.

Everest nodded as she got comfortable in the seat across from him.

“So how’s the sea life down here treating you so far?”

Everest glanced up, spotting Jelly sleeping upside down above her. “Well, I made a friend. She’s…super quiet though,” Everest only pointed up at Jelly as her colors shifted through the rainbow again, rather fast. “There was a a-a ball…thing, bug- thingy, completely chill. He literally couldn’t care less that I was human. He’s wise. I-In a good way! I…I like him,” Everest smiled slightly.

“There’s the big eyed fish. They’re scared of me. I saw a blobby fellow, he didn’t seem to care much either. I saw some other squishyfish- No one down here understands personal space– they kept touching my face, neck and stomach–!!” Everest wrapped her arms around herself with a cold hiss, “I hate them! I hate all the squishyfish!” Everest shuddered.

“Then, worse people here, the fish with the huge–and I mean HUGE–mouths! They keep repeating themselves and this one comment, ‘You’re so cute, I could literally eat you up’!” Another shudder went down Everest’s back. “I hate them…” Everest whispered in a quaking voice.

“Ah. Gulper Eels,” Tartar rolled his eyes, “You can never trust them. Never, ever turn your back on them. I’d ban them from the trains if I could but that’s one of the CQs’ jobs. Deciding who…gets to ride and who…doesn’t,” Tartar seemed to be struggling slightly to find the words, “I’m shocked they haven’t been banned yet though. One of the eels ate the last train conductor when I was riding and wasn’t paying attention. I nearly tossed them off the train onto the tracks afterwards! They’re lucky I know how to drive a train!” Tartar choked the bar beside him.

“Oof…they’re worse than I thought,” Everest mumbled before noticing that a Gulper Eel was sitting in the same cart as them. They seemed to have been listening in. Everest narrowed her eyes and hissed, “Offense intended.” The Eel only frowned and switched carts.

Tartar chuckled at Everest’s comment as the train came to a slow halt at the first test. Everest got up from the seat and left through the doors. The test room seemed brighter than the first time. The sounds of a hollow room filled with water filled Everest’s ears.

Everest stared at the platform. “Go on, just step on, I was up all night working on upgrades for that golfclub! They’ll only apply in tests though,” Tartar explained, sounding eager. Everest gave him another anxious look before stepping onto the platform. A strange chamber formed around her immediately, shocking her for a moment.

Macheriny closed down onto her golf club and started to attach tubes onto it along with other stuff. Tartar insisted on Everest staying still. Please. Everest did so and when she opened her eyes, she had a backpack on and her golf club had a tube connecting to her backpack. White ink flowed through it as the chamber came down.

“Go on, Polar Bear, give it a swing!” Tartar smiled.

Everest swung her golf club outwards and upwards, spraying the white ink onto the wall before her. “And…you did this all last night?” Everest asked. Tartar looked exceptionally proud of himself. “That I did! It was simpler than expected honestly…” Tartar commented, “Just a few…35 white octarians into a blender but the point is you have an ink based weapon now for tests!” Everest gave it another swing, a little amazed by the color admittedly. “I thought it fit your paleness. You’re like a little ghost!” Tartar giggled before the main gate came down.

Everest lit up before running out, not giving Tartar even a moment to mention the last part. The course before her looked a tiny bit crazy to go through but other than that, everything looked perfect and challenging.

Everest leapt onto the first platform, grabbing onto the ladder before she slipped into the cold water. Tartar stood on the edge of the platform, looking worried about something. Everest took another jump to the next platform, this was moving slowly and throwing her off balance slightly before she regained it. The next platform had a singular octarian on it that moved back and forth.

Everest took a swing at it, causing it to squeal and spin around towards her. It started to shoot her with that same green blue slime that Everest had already grown accustomed to. The ink coated some of her face before Everest swung her golfclub down and caused the octarian to explode into a small pile of the white ink on the platform.

Everest smirked and then noticed her first problem.

It looked to be an ink activated machine. Everest swung her golf club near it, coating it in white ink, activating it. A rail pumped out of the machine, connecting to another platform that was further down and had many more enemies. “...?” Everest looked worried.

Tartar’s voice shouted from the main platform, “THAT’S A RAIL! JUMP ON IT!!” Everest looked back, seeing him waving his arms and trying to get Everest’s attention.

“JUMP ON IT!?” Everest shouted back. Oof, her throat already hurts…

“YEAH! You’ll be SAFE!! NO NEED TO LEARN BALANCING!!” Tartar was still waving its arms, probably because it's an android and can’t feel pain, hm?

Everest took a deep breath before placing a foot onto the rail. Immediately, her foot started to move down the rail. It was like a small stream..

Everest removed her foot quickly and wiped off the ink. “Okay, okay, Everest…” Everest backed up before leaping onto the rail. The ink guided her down the rail. It was actually kinda fun! Everest giggled and laughed from the feeling of the wind in her h-!

AUK–!

The rail came to an abrupt end, causing Everest to slam directly onto the ground. The octarians flinched and started spraying ink at her. Everest only scowled and got up. Any blood from the injury was quickly covered by blue green ink and white paint. Everest wiped the blood away and started to attack the enemies, swinging her golf club at them.

Each swing caused another octarian to pop into white ink. I mean, Tartar had 10,000 of them with it constantly getting more, it was clear Tartar didn’t care about these ones. Everest stood on the ink covered platform now, only yawning as she did. This test was exhilarating! Why was she yawning actually? Oh yeah, a taunt!

Everest chuckled before running to continue the course. There were two, tiny yellow cubes. “Hm? Huh, tiny jumps, okey,” Everest leapt onto one, quickly discovering that it was a sponge! Yeah, she fell straight through the tiny cube and into the cold water. A sharp shudder went through Everest’s tiny body before she plunged back underwater to grab her golf club before it touched the floor of the pool.

Judging by how shortly after she surfaced again and climbed up the ladder, she got a call from Tartar on her CQ-80, he was either panicked, scared, giving her a hint or doing all of the above. Everest looked at his tiny figure at the start before answering the call. “Heyyy, Polar Bear! Those are sponges, you’re gonna want to cover those in ink, causing them to expand, THEN you can walk on them. They won’t stay like that though!” Tartar explained. “Also, seriously, be watching your ink, I’m not too sure how you’ll be able to restock that if you run out, got it?” Tartar smiled before waving goodbye and hanging up.

“...Oh.” Everest spun back towards the sponge and started flicking her golf club at the cube. Rapidly, it expanded into a large, white sponge. Everest did the same to the second cube, leaping to it and then the next platform. She could see the piece of the marker right ahead of her now! There was just one problem. The five Octarians before her. Not just the tiny tentacle ones either, a fully formed, humanoid one. It actually stunned Everest for a moment before she swung at the octarian.

The octrian ducked, but didn’t shoot ink, running to the left- no, right- no, left! They kept zigzagging like this for a few seconds before skidding to a stop. “Phew… need a better tactic…” it panted.

Everest stood, stunned for a moment. This octarian wasn’t like the others. Quickly, before she quickly took out the smaller octarians first. Everest then charged at the humanoid Octarian, swinging her golf club about and spraying white ink about…until the ink came out with a hiss and…nothing. Nothing at all!

Everest glanced back at the platform where Tartar stood. He was still watching. She probably shouldn’t let him down.

The Octarian glanced back at Everest, quickly noticing that her weapon ran out of ink. They seemed so suddenly excited and took aim with their gun. “Aaah! I get to shoot something!!” The Octarian bounced a little bit. “Ink doesn’t work on you, does it? Funnn!!!”

“How did you come to that conclusion? Did Tartar mention it?” Everest asked, swinging her golf club down and aiming for The Octarian’s head. They dodged easily.

“Ooooh, soo close! I don’t actually want to hurt you or anything like that, it’s just- there’s barely anything to shoot around here, besides listen to Tartar over there-” they pointed to where Tartar was- “and read. Shooting the others is never satisfying!” The Octarian didn’t seem to want to fight, oddly.

“We’re a little far from him, dummy,” Everest grumbled and suddenly rushed The Octarian again, “Come on- I need to finish the test! I can’t be stuck fighting you forever!!” Everest kept swinging her golf club.

“Welp, finish it then. I’ll leave you alone.” They shrugged. “I’m not ready to be ink just yet, might need a couple more years.”

Everest bonked the octarian on the head slightly with her golf club. It was lighter than expected. “...So who are you, anyway? I’m not too keen on killing someone who seems so..human.”

“Ow-! I’m 7, and, could you not do that please?”

“Everest. And it wasn’t that hard,” Everest rolled her eyes before turning to the marker. She didn’t even notice the boxes with extra ink so that she could actually pass the test.

7, however, did notice Tartar beginning to yell about…something. “You–...Ink for-...!!!”

“What’s he getting on about?” 7 asked. “Something about ink…”

Everest paused when she got another call on her CQ-80. Answering it, it was Tartar.

“Okay, you can’t hear me. You need ink to finish the test. Break those boxes, there is extra ink in them,” Tartar pointed at the boxes towards Everest.

Everest nodded and hung up the phone before she slammed her golf club into the boxes, breaking them in after just a few hits. “Wh- no ink? Either Tartar was lying- but he never does, though- or CQ was being a petty little slimy slug!” 7 exclaimed.

Everest dug through the other boxes, finding a little note with a simple phrase on it.

L + Bozo + You’re a human + LMFAO + No Ink

Everest growled loudly before crinkling the note and throwing it off the ledge. “I’m going to kill that f*cking sea cucumber…” Everest hissed softly before charging the marker and trying to put it together without ink.

When Tartar called again, Everest ignored the call and kept trying to put the marker together. “EVERE— PICK UP!!” Tartar’s voice echoed among the test’s walls before Everest finally put the marker together and completed the test. Afterwards, Tartar walked back into the train. There was a strange object floating there.

It felt rubbery but also kinda like a cake.

Out of the corner of her eye, Everest noticed 7 approaching, “That’s a mem cake,” 7 explained and took the cake from Everest’s hands, “They’re compressed memories belonging to Kamabo Co.'s test subjects. Supposedly. Everyone that works at Kamabo Co. knows that Tartar makes them himself using what he learned from a different old telephone that treats him like a grandchild. I have no idea what their relationship is but it’s really sweet,” 7 handed Everest the mem cake again.

“Can…I eat it?”

7 went silent before slowly shrugging, “You…can try, I suppose…”

Everest immediately bit into the Mem Cake as the train pulled up and CQ crawled out.

“Oh. Cool, you beat the 1st test, I’m startled!” CQ feigned excitement before Everest suddenly kicked him.

“Sorry, I meant to say, I got your letter, you slimy sh*t!” Everest swore at the sea cucumber, now squeezing them like a stress toy.

Tartar ran out of the train, separating them. “D-Did I not make it clear enough, Everest!? No attacking the conductor!” Tartar pried CQ away from Everest.

“He tried to sabotage the tests! I broke open the crates and only found a small letter from him. It was insulting me, that’s why I started piecing the marker together with my bare hands! I couldn’t do anything else!” Everest glared at CQ.

7 spoke up, confirming what Everest had to say.

Tartar glared at CQ. “CQ…you do know what happens to unruly sea cucumbers, right? You cucumbers are not exempt from the blender if you so choose to disobey or fail me…” Tartar was completely cold.

Everest knew at that moment that this was the real Tartar. Cold, calculating, and threatening when he needed to be.

“You’ll crawl your way back up but let this be a LESSON!” Tartar suddenly chucked the CQ as hard as he could and Everest watched them splat against the side of the chamber and slowly slide down, leaving a trail of blue.

Everest felt a little sick for a moment before Tartar smiled and brought her and 7 into the train, assuring them that he could drive the train back to the Central Station and to not be worried.

He seemed…so friendly now. Whether this was an act or truthfulness, Everest couldn’t tell now. …At least Tartar wasn’t going to hurt her though. She could feel safe with him.

…Hopefully…

#commander tartar #oc writing #splatoon #splatoon oc #splatoon tartar #splatoon CQ

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somnomania · 1 year ago

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tbh i’m usually surprised when i hear that X fandom is full of raging assholes, because i just... never see them, because i already follow most of these points. i hoard fanart and i devour fanfic and sometimes via the fanart i find someone cool to follow but the second they either have opinions that are unpleasant or are openly engaging with others who have unpleasant opinions, i’m outie 5000. the internet is a wide and wonderful (also terrible) place, and no one is forcing much of anyone to do anything or look at anything any longer than it takes to go “hm, don’t agree with that, byeeee”. everyone take care of yourselves, and remember, teenagers are almost universally idiots who think they’re hot shit and know everything. if they’re lucky, when they become adults, they’ll think back on how they tried to terrorize strangers online and go “fuck i was such a stupid asshole”.

and as someone who makes picking fights with strangers online a hobby (one that i’m trying very hard to stop doing because mostly it ends with me being mad): we’re all serious about the engagement aspect. don’t do it. either they’re trolling or they legitimately think they’re going to be able to change your mind about whatever topic it is, and either way it’s a waste of your time.

I'm really getting into this one fandom and stumbled upon the community of anti's spamming their typical puritanical "you're scum of the Earth if you think XYZ" BS. I just want to write about fictional characters, but their posts put me in such a funky mood. It's my first time in a fandom with such opinionated and active anti's and I don't know how to stop letting their negativity mess with my creativity. I just want to enjoy content and write fic, man 😭 but I keep thinking of how much trouble I'm letting into my life if I release certain content. Any advice to stop the anti-anti's from influencing me?

How to Enjoy Modern Fandom: A Guide

i’m gonna take this seriously because i know it’s something a lot of people struggle with and let’s face it: modern fandom kind of sucks. people are extremely loud, extremely opinionated, extremely loud about being opinionated, and have just spent a year doing nothing but being more loud and more opinionated and more wrong than ever before, so...

1) limit what you see. this is the old “curate your space thing” and it’s tried and true. fandom is a total mess and the internet allows--forces--you to view the stream of conscious thoughts of every person who has ever had access to a keyboard and a wifi connection. so: mute words, and be smart about it. i mute words like “fandom” “shippers” “antis” “proshippers” and so on. i very liberally turn off retweets from people whose stuff i’m not vibing with. back in the heyday of vld i limited all my notifications to followers which absolutely insulated me from anything i didn’t want to see.

2) don’t go looking for stuff you don’t like. this is not me talking about shitheads looking at your stuff. this is me talking about you looking at their opinions. you never need to see it. don’t go in the pairing tag without putting a hashtag in front of it. you never need to know what a 14 year old in fuck knows where thinks of what you enjoy. you just don’t. i think of it as a respect thing: had i had access to the internet at that age and the ability to immortalize my worst opinions, i can only pray that the adults in those spaces would have done me the good grace of ignoring me. “some of them are older” yeah but i still don’t care. i don’t invite them into my mind or space.

3) don’t engage. this is so much easier said than done. i still violate this now and then, but i swear to you that it is never worth it. you are never going to change anyone’s opinion. what it will do is expose everyone who followed you for your support of a specific ship or content to the basic opposite of what they followed you for. don’t do that to your friends and followers, and don’t do it to yourself. it is literally not worth it ever on any level. even if you say the perfect words, they will still make you anxious if you’re anything like me, and i regret it every time.

4) step back as often as possible. we’re all on the internet a lot these days. if i see something i don’t like about a ship i do, i close the tab and open a webcomic or a book, put my phone down and go outside a moment, watch some tv, talk to a friend. literally anything but absorb that energy. fandom is my fun time and i know from personal experience those vibes will stick with me if i let them so i just don’t. public fandom should, i think, be 10% of your fun time if that. scroll for art, scroll for a cute headcanons from your friends, get distance as soon as it stops being fun for even a moment.

5) find friends and consider limiting your fandom experience to them. i now exist almost entirely on a private twitter. i don’t really want my every thought to be broadcast to thousands of people i don’t know. i use my main twitter to post fic, rt fanart, occasionally reply to people who reply to my posts, and nothing else. otherwise all my fandom is a few good friends i’ve made over the course of the past few years and most of whom i know irl now. it’s really freeing. i literally don’t care what anyone thinks of the things i like because i know i can call at least one person on discord and scream about that ship with them for a few minutes and that’s worth more than anything to me.

6) if you do get attacked... dm it to a friend to clown it. turn off notifications from non followers. actually close out of twitter. actually go outside and eat something and drink some water. i swear to you, the anxiety response from an attack on the internet is so outsized and bizarre because everyone’s opinion is projected at the same size. the literal only way to get past it as fast as possible is laugh at it, ignore it, get distance, keep doing what you love even if it has to be out of spite for a minute.

7) other tips: find out what your ship is called in another language and save that search so you can find good fanart and 99% less drama. western twitter fandom skews young. even if they aren’t being assholes, i kind of don’t want to hear what a minor thinks of xyz character’s sexual habits. on that note, keep in mind that harassers are mostly super young. it’s never a good look to fight a child and i find that most of what i see from them is a lot more tolerable when i remember they’re bored teens. i’m not excusing their behavior but much as i would not wrestle a child in the bread aisle for saying my shirt is lame, i will not fight an actual child on the internet lol. there are only assholes and non assholes on the internet. don’t buy into antis vs proshippers stuff. anti is a self-styled short term for “someone who harasses others over fake stuff” and proship is an even stupider term for “person who doesn’t think people should be harassed over fake stuff” so don’t use either. it’s literally all fake and so silly to me. you’re either having fun or you’re not. have other things going as much as possible. kind of redundant with what i said before, but to stay sane, i always have a webcomic or book open in another tab to scroll to because it reminds me i can get endorphins from stuff on the internet other than twitter. i just really try to limit how much time i’m ever exposed to any opinions on twitter lol.

i’m not gonna say fandom is supposed to be fun because i think you know that already. these are all the ways i’ve kept it that way and stayed writing over the past few years and some terribly stupid times. i hope any of that helps!! stay having fun and congrats on finding a new ship!! that’s always exciting to me lol <333

#good words #fandom #internet safety

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kingexpl0sionmurder · 4 years ago

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Body Electric - Kaminari Denki - Smut

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Pairing: Kaminari Denki/F!Reader Rating: 18+ (contains smut) Words: 5,491 Warnings: Sex work (Cam boy/girl), Quirkless AU, Aged-up Adult characters (someone is in grad school! wow!), mentions of masturbation (both male and female), mentions of casual ShinKami, established KiriBaku, Idk they are all just really sexually liberated and don’t care about watching each other cum. Is that voyeurism? I’m bad at tagging things. Title taken from a Lana Del Rey song. AN: Another BNHarem collab piece! The theme was sex work, and I have wanted to do a camboy Denki for a long time so here we go. This was really smutty in my head but Denki makes me soft and it turned out really cute in the end, I’m sorry? He’s such a dork I feel like any sexual encounter with him would just turn out like this in some way, idk. Thanks to @unbreakablekiribaku and @sailorsero as usual for being supportive of me. Happy birthday to @lady-bakuhoe and @burnedbyshoto 🎂🎂 There is no one else I would rather be birthday triplets with!

Please check out the Collab Masterlist: HERE Look 👀 at My Masterlist: HERE Buy me a Kofi if you’re scared of clowns too: HERE

---

Sighing, you sat up on your elbows, squinting at the chat on the screen, willing your heart to stop pounding and your breath to even out. The donations were pouring in, the chat moving so fast you couldn’t even read it. “Alright, lovelies, I hope you enjoyed that. Be right back and we’ll chat a little bit, okay?”

Donations popped up, the chat slowing a little as the clients who only came to jerk off to you left, leaving those who considered themselves true fans. You stood and made your way to the bathroom to pee, rinsing your toy off in the sink and washing your hands. You went back to your room, pulling on a hoodie and settling in front of the screen again.

“Alright, I’m back! I have some time for a few questions and then I have to go for the night. Let me see what we got!” You scanned the chat, ignoring the normal inappropriate questions. Mindfucker: Do you know who Chargebolt is? Cause I heard he watches your stream.

Your heart, which had finally slowed to a normal rhythm, picked up again. You most definitely knew who Chargebolt was. You gave him a good amount of money from your donations when you watched his cam shows yourself. “I do actually, he’s pretty popular on here, isn’t he?” You sat back a little, furrowing your brows. “How do you know he watches me?”

RedDaddy: He did a Q&A and mentioned your channel! Told everyone to check you out.

You recognized the names of the viewers and knew they were also regulars on Chargebolt’s streams as well, so you believed them. Chargebolt was gorgeous and funny, just your type. The knowledge that he was interested in you enough to watch you get off on camera was flattering. You hoped your blush wasn’t showing on your face.

“I’m surprised he knows who I am!” You had missed the last Q&A he’d done, since it hadn’t been on his normal streaming day, and you’d been stuck at work late. Leaning forward again, you bit your lip, looking into the camera from under your lashes. “Can I tell you guys a secret? I watch him, too. Why do you think I never do shows on Thursdays? That’s Chargebolt day.” With a wink you sat back, trying to will the blush from your cheeks. Mindfucker: I knew it! I bet he’s watching right now. You smiled, shrugging. “I hope he enjoyed the show, then!” You tried to hold it together, suppressing the urge to burst into a fit of giggles at the thought, answering a few more silly questions from your regulars, before signing off for the night, promising to be back again the following week.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, leaning your head back and groaning. It was wild that the guy whose cam shows you watched on the regular, the one who had inspired you to start your own, who you thought of half the time when you were filming yourself getting off on camera for strangers, knew who you were and was one of your viewers.

It brought you down a whole rabbit hole for a second, wondering if he got off on you getting off. Why else would he watch? Did he ever donate? You assumed he had a secondary account so you wouldn’t know it was him even if you tried to look at your past viewers, just like you had a secret account so you could watch him as well.

Cracking your eyes open, you clicked to view the donation tallies for the evening. You’d made enough to pay the rent on your apartment for the month in just one night. Sometimes you wondered how you ever managed to survive before you started doing this. It was meant to be a temporary side job, but you’d been running this cam channel under the screen name Neko for over six months, and you had clawed your way out of debt in such a short time, it didn’t make sense for you to stop.

You viewed a few more visitor stats with interest, before logging off the computer and shutting the laptop. You had to get to sleep for your real job in the morning, so you figured it was time for bed, pushing thoughts of Chargebolt to the back of your mind for now.

It wasn’t until later when you were lying down to sleep, that you thought of him again. Your eyes closed as you ran through a scenario in your head, wondering if he would mention you on Thursday, and what would come of all this? You had noticed your viewer numbers had spiked that day, so it was definitely beneficial that you’d caught his eye. You just weren’t sure what would happen next.

Denki was grinning into the camera, wiping the cum off of his abs with the towel he kept beside him, his chest and cheeks flushed pink. He adjusted in his chair, tugging the toy out of his hole and chucking it to the side, pulling his boxers back up over his softening cock. “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, babes.”

He chuckled at the comments flooding the chat as he reached for his water and took a sip.

Tapeman: As always, you never disappoint me, Chargebolt.

“Hey thanks, Tapeman! I appreciate you always coming to hang out...get it? Coming?”

Mindfucker: Ridiculous.

“Aw, you love me, Mindfucker.” He winked at the camera. “So, did you guys enjoy my Q&A the other day?”

The chat filled with praise, making him grin. He loved to talk to his fans, and sometimes they had some great questions for him. He knew a lot of people just watched him as a way to get off, but he liked to give a little piece of himself to them because he knew that most of the people who watched were probably lonely, and he wanted to help with that in some way. He kept things laid back, joking and laughing with his viewers before and after the show, taking requests and doing his best to remember some of the regulars. Some of the few who had been with him from the beginning he’d made into moderators to help with keeping things somewhat orderly in the chat. Some of them he actually knew in real life, like his roommate Hitoshi, who used the alias Mindfucker.

Mindfucker: So are we going to talk about Neko? Denki’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, you mean the stream the other day? It was…” He made the appropriate motion as he said it. “Chef’s kiss, immaculate. She’s so beautiful…” Trailing off, he let himself think back to the way your chest heaved and the face you made when you came. “I would do anything for her, man.”

RedDaddy: Dude, I agree! She’s also super sweet, like, the total package.

Sighing, he leaned his elbow on the desk, his cheek resting on his palm. “I am a simp, my guy.” He sat up, squinting at the chat. “She said she watches, right? Is she here right now?” He scanned the names of the viewers, frowning. “She probably has a second account. Well, if you’re here, Neko, you should hit me up. I read all of my DM’s okay?” He grinned, winking again. “Alright, I have to go feed the cats so I’m outie 5000, thanks for hanging out and I’ll see you guys next week!”

He said his goodbyes, ending the stream and sighing. He wiped off his toy with the towel and clicked through his stats for the day, smiling at some of the comments that came with the donations. Hitoshi came into his room a few minutes later, holding one of the cats, an orange tabby named Miso, in his arms. “I fed them, you don’t have to.”

Was it weird that his roommate watched him fuck himself on toys and jerk off on the internet on a weekly basis? Nope. Denki had forgone all sense of modesty when it came to sex a long time ago, and Hitoshi was the same. It helped that they fucked around on occasion, best friends who got lonely and lived together sometimes did that, he guessed. Or maybe they were weird. It was whatever, he didn’t like to think about it too much.

“What would I do without you, Toshi?”

“Kill the cats, probably.” He deadpanned, leaning in the doorway. “Burn all the toast you try to make, buy the wrong peanut butter, eat Cheese-Itz for breakfast every day, forget to pay the cable bill.” He raised his eyebrows. “I can keep going.”

“Fuck off, I got the all-natural peanut butter once, it was an accident!” Denki threw his soiled towel into the laundry basket by the closet and picked up the toy he’d used, waving it around a bit. “Did you enjoy the stream?”

Hitoshi snorted, eyeing the dildo warily. “I didn’t really watch, I had my eye on the chat. I was looking for Neko.”

“Man, I can’t believe she’s a fan!” He waved the dildo some more, watching as it jiggled. “I would let her do unspeakable things to me.”

“Look out, your sub is showing, Denki.” Hitoshi teased. “But I agree, she’s pretty great. I wonder if she’ll ever do private shows.” Pausing to scritch Miso behind the ears, he continued. “I’m sure they’d be in high demand.”

Denki stood, pointing at Hitoshi with the dildo. He really needed to put it down somewhere and stop brandishing it around like a sword. “Don’t even, I’d spend all my money on that girl.”

“I know you would.” He chuckled. “I did try to go through the usernames and see if I could find out who she could be, but I didn’t have any luck.”

“It’s okay! I’m leaving it up to fate now, man. If the universe wants us to know each other, we will.” He stuck his thumb towards the ensuite. “I’m going to wash my ass and then we can play Among Us if you want.”

Hitoshi, completely unphased as usual, nodded. “I’ll get a team together. Check the discord when you get out.”

Humming, Denki made his way to the bathroom, picking up his phone on the way. It buzzed as he closed the door, and he glanced down to see he had a message from his other moderator and friend, Eijirou, aka RedDaddy. Tossing the dildo in the sink, he looked down at the screen and opened the message.

Eiji: No luck on finding Neko on the stream, but she said she never misses a Thursday, so I bet she was there.

Denki: Thanks for keeping an eye out, man. I appreciate you. Among us in 30?

Eiji: Bet. I’ll ask Kats to play too.

Your next stream day had you feeling nervous. Chargebolt had talked directly at you on his last stream, asking you to slide into his DMs, and you had yet to take him up on it. You didn’t know what you were so scared of, Chargebolt was a nice guy. You chalked it up to the fear of the unknown. If you sent him a message, what would you even say? ‘Hey dude, nice cock?’ It was bound to be a disaster.

Pushing your nerves back down, you made sure you were ready for your stream, excited for the news you were about to drop on your viewers. You were needing a little extra cash due to some unfortunate car trouble, and you’d figured out a way to make up what you needed in record time.

“Hey everyone, welcome!” You smiled at the camera, waving your fingers. “Thanks for coming! I see a lot of familiar names here tonight. Hi Mindfucker, Dynamight, RedDaddy, Tapeman, LightningMcQueen!”

LightningMcQueen: Hey, beautiful! I’ve been looking forward to this all week.

Dynamight: Chill out, McQueen, you look desperate.

RedDaddy: Be nice, Dynamight. Hi, Neko!

Dynamight: Fuck off, Shittyhair.

Mindfucker: How’s your cat, Neko?

“Be good, Dynamight. You’re lucky I know you don’t mean that!” You giggled at the antics of your regulars, smiling at the question about your cat. “Ichigo is doing good, Mindfucker, thanks for asking! I’ll bring her on camera after the show if you want to say hi!”

Minfucker just sent a cat emoji and you laughed, shaking your head. “I’m beginning to think that you’re just here for Ichigo and not me.”

The chat went crazy with people denying it, telling you how much they loved watching you every week. You lit up, feeling more excited about your news.

“So I have something I want to discuss before we get started today. I’ve decided I want to try out doing some private shows, so I’m going to be offering up a few spots. I’m going to give some of my longest and most frequent supporters a shot first, and if all goes well, then I’ll open them up to the rest of you! I’ll be adding a signup link at the bottom of my page after tonight’s stream, so if you’re interested you can apply and I’ll pick a few of you and we’ll work out a schedule! How does that sound?”

Dynamight: McQueen already has his credit card ready I bet.

“Aw, you don’t want to play with me, Dynamight?” You teased, giving the camera your best pout.

Dynamight: You couldn’t handle me, Princess.

LightningMcQueen: Hush. You’re a bottom, Dyna.

Dynamight: Die you fucking extra.

LightningMcQueen: Love you too, blasty.

“I was going to let you pick the toy today, Dynamight, but if you can’t behave then I’m just going to have to let someone else have a turn.” You gave the camera a disapproving look, frowning. You’d picked up that these guys were friends, so you knew they were just messing with each other.

A donation popped up from Dynamight with a comment attached.

Let McQueen choose this time, babe.

“It looks like Dynamight is going to let you choose, McQueen. Which one?” You pulled over the box you kept your toys in and showed it to the camera. “Pick a color.”

LightningMcQueen: Yellow

You pulled the yellow silicone out of the box and showed it to the chat, smirking. “I call this one Chargebolt because it’s the same color as his hair. Are you sure this is the one you want me to use?”

When your stream ended, Denki leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath. The fact that he’d watched you fuck yourself with a dildo that you’d named after him was the hottest thing he could have imagined. He was jealous of that piece of bright yellow silicone more than he should be. He’d still enjoyed it, if the mess across his abs and chest were any indication.

He cleaned himself up and pulled on a shirt, clicking on the link for the private show signup. It was pretty straightforward, listing the price and how long the show would be, and asking for his username and what he would be interested in doing or seeing and what day would work best.

Staring at the form for a moment, he contemplated his options. He could sign up with his LightningMcQueen account, and he might have a chance. He was the first one out of his friends to find your channel one night when he was bored and horny. Then he’d shown it to Hitoshi and then shared your info with Eijirou, Katsuki, and Hanta. He would be considered one of the longest and loyal viewers like you had said.

However, if you got a request from Chargebolt? What would you do? Would you ignore it?

“Toshi!” He called out, knowing his roommate would hear him without him having to get up. “I’m having a crisis!”

The door opened, and the purple-haired man stood in the doorway. “I am not prepared to handle your bi panic right now, Denki.”

“Are you going to put in for a private show from Neko?” Denki pushed on, ignoring his friend’s exasperation.

“I spoke that into existence last week, you know. You’re welcome.”

Flopping back in his chair, Denki closed his eyes. “Should I send in the request with this account or with the Chargebolt one?”

Hitoshi shrugged, watching their cat Sashimi wander into the room. “You’ve wanted to talk to her for ages, man. You could have messaged her forever ago and you wouldn’t be playing this game with her. Sign up with your actual account.”

“I mean, she must think I’m cute, right? Otherwise, she wouldn’t watch.” He sat up, logging out of his secondary account and into his main one. He had a few unread DM’s, so he clicked, his breath catching in his throat. “Dude, look.”

There was a message from you, short but sweet.

Hi, Chargebolt. I don’t know if you saw the stream today, but you should check it out if you haven’t. I left it up for you.”

“She wants you to see her use that dildo she named after you.” Hitoshi patted his shoulder, and then bent down to pick up Sashimi. “I signed up but I told her I just wanted to have a date with her cat. She probably won’t pick me.”

“She will, she loves cats.” Denki clicked on your page and scrolled down to the bottom where the signup was again, letting it populate his main account in the information, and writing ‘any day except Thursday’ in the section for the time that worked for him. “I’m going to get this girl to date me, just you watch.”

Snorting, his roommate closed the door behind him as he left. “I believe in you, Pikachu.”

Once his request was submitted, he went back to his DM’s and sent you a message back.

“I was there, Neko. I never miss a stream. I submitted for a private show, so I hope you’ll pick me. I’ve been one of your viewers since the beginning, you know.”

---

In your head, you tried to plan what you would say once you were face to face (via camera) with the one and only Chargebolt. Everything your brain seemed to come up with fell short. What did you say to this guy, who you’d been simping over for over 9 months, who lit up your screen every Thursday with terrible puns and panty-dropping smiles? You knew exactly what he looked like and sounded like when he came. It was a strange thing to think that you knew that but you’d never actually spoken to him before.

It made you feel a little better when you realized he knew just as much about you. That he watched you fuck yourself on a dildo you’d named after him, and then spent the rest of the stream showing off your fluffy white cat Ichigo.

It was time to put on your big girl panties. You could do this.

Chargebolt had been one of the few that you’d chosen to do these shows with. He was also the last one. You’d met with 4 others, the ones who were the most active in your chat, the ones you assumed were actually friends.

Your first one was with Tapeman, who asked you to call him Sero. He was cute, with the widest, prettiest smile you’d ever seen. He made you laugh, and called you beautiful, and spoke to you in Spanish. You didn’t feel uncomfortable once with him, and the experience gave you hope that the rest would be just as nice.

Mindfucker was next, whose name was Shinsou and lowkey your favorite one. He didn’t want anything sexual at all, which surprised you. You sat with him and drank tea and you got to meet his two fur children, Miso and Sashimi, while he told you about his roommate. You let him admire Ichigo, and talked about music. He was sarcastic, but not in a mean way, and you were pretty sure he was going to be your new best friend.

RedDaddy and Dynamight had asked to do theirs together since they were dating. You wanted to question why they both watched your stream but RedDaddy, who was actually named Kirishima, answered it for you.

“We’re both bi, and we think you’re cute!”

“Yeah, plus McQueen has a thing for you so we like to be in the chat to help him out.” Dynamite, aka Bakugou, added in his gruff voice, folding his arms across his chest.

“Aw, that’s sweet!” You smiled at them. “He didn’t request a private show though, so I guess he doesn’t like me that much.”

Bakugou coughed and Kirishima grinned. “Maybe he was nervous! I’m sure you’ll meet him in one of these someday!”

“Enough about that dumbass.” Bakugou leaned forward, his hand on Kirishima’s knee. “Give us a show and we’ll give you one in return. Use that orange and green one for me, Princess.”

And give you a show they did. You got lost in how they looked at each other while they jerked each other off, and you were pretty sure they forgot you were even there at some point. When it was over, you suggested that they start their own channel.

Bakugou scoffed, but you could tell he was blushing a bit.

“I don’t know, Neko. I don’t think I could share him with anyone else. Except you, you’re the exception.” Kirishima grinned, winking at you.

But now it was Chargebolt’s turn. You made sure you had everything you needed, making sure Ichigo was out of the room, and then signed into your account.

Chargebolt was online, so you made the private room and sent him the request. You felt like you were shaking, and you checked yourself in the camera to make sure you didn’t look like a wreck.

You barely had time to breathe before he entered the chat, his camera screen coming to life and showing you his smiling face. You melted a bit, biting your lip, gazing at how attractive he was.

“Hey, Neko!” Chargebolt was as vibrant as ever, tucking his hair behind his ears, the black lightning bolt in his hair dark against the bright yellow of the rest of it.

“It’s nice to see you, Chargebolt.” You tried to relax, rolling your shoulders back. “It’s kind of weird knowing you can see me too.”

He laughed, leaning back in his chair. You tried not to stare at his arms in the tank top he was wearing. Chargebolt had a small frame, but his muscles were defined. You’d seen him plow through an entire bag of chips on stream once, without pausing to breathe, so you assumed he must be one of those people with amazing metabolism that you envied. “You can call me Denki if you want, kitten.”

You choked on air at the nickname, trying to compose yourself. “Kitten?”

“Well, Neko means cat, doesn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow. “I won’t call you that if you don’t like it.”

“No!” You practically shouted. “No, I mean, it’s fine. I like it.”

“Sweet.” He grinned. “Man, I’ve wanted to get you alone like this for so long, and now I’m just feeling really nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” You were surprised. The always cool but super dorky Chargebolt was nervous because of you? “So am I.”

Chargebolt- sorry, Denki, rested his elbow on the desk, propping his head in his hand. “Well, glad to know I’m not the only disaster here. I’ve been trying to get the courage to talk to you for months, and then finally Hitoshi got me to talk about you on stream a few weeks ago, and now here we are.”

“Who’s Hitoshi? One of your regulars?” Knowing that you weren’t the only one who was sweating bullets had you relaxing a bit.

“Oh yeah, Mindfucker! You know him right? He did a thing with you the other day, didn’t he?”

Eyes wide, you stared at him. “Shinsou?”

“Yeah, that’s my best friend and my roommate. He said he showed you the cats.” He shrugged. “You picked all my friends for your private shows. Sero, Kiri, Bakugou, Shinsou.” He paused, smirking. “I forgot that you don’t know that I’m LightningMcQueen.”

“That’s you? I was wondering why they didn’t send me a request, but it all makes sense now.”

Denki shot you finger guns and winked. “Kachow!”

“Oh god, stop it.” You rolled your eyes.

He chuckled, grinning at you. “So, did Shinsou talk about me?”

You giggled, remembering back. “He told me a story about how his roommate mistook a fuzzball for a spider and spent the afternoon sitting on a table waiting for him to come home and kill it.”

“It looked like one of those freaky poisonous ones from where I was sitting. I was afraid to let it out of my sight in case it got away and then multiplied and killed me in my sleep or something.” He took a deep breath. “Spiders are terrifying.”

This man was amazing. “You are everything I always thought you’d be, you know that?”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He sighed. “You have to have some kind of embarrassing story to tell me so I don’t feel like a fool. You’ve got to make it even.”

“One year my dad hired a clown to come to my birthday party. He walked in the front door and I jetted out the back door and hid in the garden until he left. Clowns are just as terrifying as spiders.”

Chargebolt laughed, and the sound made your stomach do a somersault. It was just as bright and happy as he was. “That is the cutest shit I’ve ever heard!”

“I’m glad my childhood trauma is amusing you.” You deadpanned, trying to keep the smile off your face.

“Aw, don’t be like that kitten! I’m glad we can bond over our irrational fears like this, you know?” He

You shivered happily. “Okay, okay.” You cleared your throat. “So, you didn’t write anything down here for what you wanted out of our chat today.”

“Oh, okay, down to business then.” He sat up straight. “Well, I wanted to tell you myself instead of submitting it on the form.”

Intrigued, you raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t want to give me a chance to back out?”

Snorting, and shook his head. “Nah, I think you’ll like it, kitten.” He folded his hands behind his head. “I want you to tell me what to do. I’m at your mercy.”

Swallowing thickly, you blinked at him. That was...really hot. “You like being told what to do?”

“I would love nothing more for you to pull my hair and peg me within an inch of my life while calling me your little cock slut.” He stared at you with an eyebrow raised, looking pleased with himself when he saw your expression.

Your thighs clenched together involuntarily. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, right? I mean, I’m a switch, I’d do the same to you if you asked. But we can save that for next time.” He smirked. “So, you down?”

Next time? This man was going to kill you. “Take off your shirt, Denki.”

“Fuck yes.” He groaned, reaching behind him and tugging the garment over his head.

His chest and abs came into view, and you let your eyes linger on the barbells through his nipples. “Pants too.”

He pushed his chair away from his desk and shimmied out of his shorts, kicking them to the side. You gazed at him in his blue boxer briefs, eyes lingering on his thin waist, strong thighs, and the outline of his cock. He was a sight to behold, honestly.

You held the fangirling back, leaning forward to get a better look at him. “Do you have any toys, Denki?”

“Of course, Kitten.” He moved out of view for a moment, coming back with a box.

“Let me see.” He tilted the box towards the camera, your eyes flitting over the different colors and shapes inside. “The pink one.”

“Okay, hang on, let me-” He cut off, standing up and throwing the pink toy on the bed. He picked up the laptop and moved it, laying down beside it and angling the camera so you could see what he was doing.

“Did you stretch yourself, baby?”

He made a noise that sounded like a whine in the back of his throat at the pet name, obviously pleased by it. “Yeah, of course I did.” He glanced at the screen. “You should, uh, take your shirt off too.”

“I thought you wanted me to tell you what to do, not the other way around.” Teasing him, you crossed your arms over your chest.

He pouted slightly. “I’ve been good so far though, right?”

“All you’ve done is take off two items of clothing and move to the bed. You’re gonna have to work harder than that!”

Huffing, he lifted his ass off the bed and tugged his underwear down his legs, kicking them off, his hand already moving to wrap around his already hard cock.

“Did I say you could touch yourself, Denki?” It was getting hard to keep up the stern act you were putting on, but you knew it was what he wanted. You wanted to watch him touch himself, watch the way his eyes fluttered closed when his thumb brushed over the leaking head of his cock, and the way he would bite his lip when he moved his wrist a certain way.

You could be patient though, so you continued.

“If I was there right now, what would you want me to do first?”

He stilled, blinking at you a few times. “I would want your mouth first, I think.”

Humming, you sat back, pulling your shirt over your head, letting him admire the lacey purple bra covering your chest. “You’d want my mouth on your cock? Trace my tongue along that vein along the underside and suck on the head a little?”

Denki groaned, closing his eyes, his grip visibly tightening around his shaft. He looked like he was trying not to get worked up too fast. You were amazed at how your words were affecting him, so you pressed on.

“I’d take you all the way down until I was choking on it, and I’d let you hold onto my hair and fuck my face. God, you don’t know how many times I've dreamed about doing that for you. What would you say to that?”

The blush spreading down his neck and chest made him look so pretty. “Ugh, fuck kitten, you’re killing me.” He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to look at you again. “I’d tell you how good you made me feel, but I wouldn’t let you finish me off that way.”

“Oh no? Tell me what else you’d do.” You took the opportunity to move to the bed yourself, pulling off your leggings and panties all at once.

Eyes glued to you while you unclipped your bra and threw it across the room, he continued. “Fuck, um, I would...god, you’re beautiful.”

Flushing at the compliment, you looked down shyly, breaking character. “I’ve heard you say that before and I still don’t believe it.”

Denki scoffed. “If you need a daily reminder, I’d be happy to be the one to tell you, kitten.” You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made your heart do a little flip. “I might seem like a dumbass but I’m using this camboy money to pay off my student loans for my masters in English lit so I can quote you entire sonnets from Shakespeare without hesitation if that will help you believe me.”

Your eyebrows shot up, impressed. Realizing you’d ruined the moment, you sighed, covering your eyes with your hand. “I’m sorry, I’m crap at this. I really just want to watch you cum.”

Chuckling, you heard him shifting on the bed. “Okay, how about this? Forget the toys. Just close your eyes and listen to me.”

“Okay.”

“If you were here with me right now, just like that, I’d spend so much time exploring every inch of you with my tongue. I’d start with your lips, your jaw, your neck. Collarbones, shoulders, your chest, those cute nipples-”

“How are nipples cute?” You interrupted with a snort.

You could hear him trying not to laugh, his voice pitched a bit higher. “Shh, don’t ruin it.”

“I think you just did when you said ‘cute nipples’.” You’d never had this much fun with someone in a situation like this. “If I had a dick, my boner would have just died.”

Denki wheezed, and you opened your eyes to look over at him. He was gazing back at you, his eyes bright as he laughed into his palm. “God, I like you so much, kitten.”

Your grin softened, your heart pounding at his words. “Me too, Denki.”

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