#i’m not asking for constructive criticism of my 2 am rambles thanks

[saipng]

punctuation arent part of quotes so your post should go "ever since i wrote the line 'greg was so close to barking' in that fic..." without the period there. remember that punctuation just mark the start and end of a sentence regardless of the end or start of dialogue. dialogue/quote + description/elaboration can be one sentence. besides it is unnatural to end and then start sentences in that manner

bruh.

first of all - who fucking cares it’s an untagged personal post on my tumblr dot com blog

second of all - you are quite literally wrong, which i found out after roughly 3 whole seconds of googling

so not only were you so pissed off with a 6 note post that you actually sent me a message about it, you aren’t even correct.

to summarize: bruh.

[spacehead1127]

The mysteries of the world

Nobody will ever see my blog about random rambles lmao it’s as if it’s set to private but it’s out in the open waiting for someone to find it. Nice B) I like talking to a wall. 

Read or not, I’m still gonna put my thoughts out anyway. If anyone ever sees this, enjoy! :D Or if you don’t like reading, just ignore this. Or if you disagree with anything I say, feel free to point out your views if you want. I like discussing with people and attempting to understand different perspectives. I’m open to any criticism as long as it’s constructive. Thank you! 

Without further ado, for today’s topic it’s gonna involve my philosophical ass heh. If that’s what you would call it. 

This is a PART 2 of my text-podcast thing: go to my blog to see more!

As humans we have always been questioning the world: why and how it came to be. Thus, many millennia ago, humans started creating answers to the world that our human brains can comprehend and so, we would just follow it. And this is what we call, religion, to this day. We may or may not ever know the true secrets of the world, and I have a feeling it’s best to leave some questions unanswered for the sake of our sanity. 

Disclaimer before I continue: if what I am about to say may offend or hurt you in any way, I truly do not intend to do that and I apologise beforehand if I have. I am trying to come from a neutral perspective about the topics of religion and I genuinely do not mean any harm to anyone for their beliefs. Though I will admit, I may seem biassed because of my experiences that shaped my perspectives, but once again, I do not mean any harm. 

1. Being neutral

Personally, I grew up in a Buddhist background but I consider myself an atheist. I will get to that in a moment. The general definition of atheists is that they do not believe in any gods. There are some definitions out there that mean “atheism is a denial of gods”. For me, I don’t reject the thought about it but rather I just don’t have the belief, in a neutral way. No negativity about it at all. In fact, I find religions interesting and I’m grateful there are so many people out there who can learn moral values from their religions to be the best version of themselves, and I’m happy for them for that. I’m happy for the society as a whole to have a positive upbringing for their children. 

There’s this argument out there that people say you can’t be neutral and you have to “pick a side” if not you don’t know what’s “right” and what’s “wrong”. I have to respectfully disagree with that. Personally, I don’t think you have to believe in anything to be a good person. I don’t think your beliefs have to be permanent, either. Because I think as humans we should thrive for growth and change. Of course not all the time for the sake of it, but in healthy ways. “Healthy” as in not hurting others, and not hurting yourself. 

I don’t believe in “good” and “bad” or “right” and “wrong”. I think humans can be complex and that’s what makes us beautiful. But of course I do believe in positivity and negativity in the world. There are definitely ups and downs in everything, and that’s okay. I accept that. Nothing in the world is perfect after all, and life is a journey. But if you ask me what is the one thing I believe in? The Sun. I believe in Science. I believe in Life. I am forever curious about the whys and the hows of the world. I think it is great to question and learn. I love learning! It is such a beautiful process. 

I’ll get to why I consider myself an atheist. Of course I do have my own values in life and opinions about things. And it’s all shaped by my experiences I’ve had. As much as humans can build, we can also destroy. For me, I lost my beliefs in any religion mostly because of the people in it which includes my family. I have no issue with any religion itself at all, and I believe religions would never teach humans to bring harm to anyone for any reason whatsoever. But sadly where I’m from, there are so many people who bring intentional harm and claim that it’s because of their religion. And I really do not believe in that. I may be wrong. I think it’s the people who ruin it. It’s usually the people who alter the “words of god” just to make them their own. I know that I am touching sensitive topics here, forgive me. If there really are religions out there who teach us to do harm to anyone at all, then I apologise, because I am against that idea. I’m not against you who believe in it, but the idea itself. I may sound pessimistic for focusing on that part of religions but personally I am happier having my own beliefs and values as myself. The other thing I disagree about most religions is how they force their religion onto you. There were even wars that began just because of the differences in our beliefs. I may sound rude and hypocritical; but why can't we respect each other’s beliefs and mind our own business? (I’m aware I’m not minding my own business, just saying this for the sake of this topic lol) Is it necessary to promote religions in such a way that brings violence and war? Isn’t religion supposed to give humans hope in life? Have we lost all meaning for life? 

Though I do have several things I agree with certain religions and things I admire about them. Like for Buddhism, I agree with how desire and dissatisfaction can really screw up our lives. And how by practising gratitude can bring us happiness. It’s just for my family, they seem to be a more… toxic positivity (?) kind of vibe with Buddhism. They would be so close minded sometimes and strictly stereotype people as “bad” and “good”: “good is good” so we must always reward “the good” and “bad is bad” so we’ll continue kicking them into the dirt and let them rot in hell. Bro. What. Aren’t you going to help them? They also seem so hypocritical all the time because of how they say they are kind and all-giving and full of gratitude but they really are not aware of things like how mental illnesses are a real problem. If you have social anxiety and depression, they’d think you are a “bad” person for your, let’s say, pessimistic and needy behaviour but wouldn’t consider helping you. Asian parents. Amirite. Anyway. Another thing I absolutely admire about monotheistic religions is how disciplined they are. I admire how Muslims pray 5 times a day and how they dress so modestly and value cleanliness. Not just for their God but indirectly I love that they are also doing it for themselves. It is truly admirable. And I’m saying this as an atheist, their faith in Allah is beautiful, really. I’m happy for them. I’m from southeast Asia, so where I’m from there are a lot of races and religions mixed together. Although not everything is perfect and it doesn’t mean there is absolutely no racism and prejudice around here, I can still say that among us civilians, we’re pretty comfortable around each other and it’s a nice experience having friends of different races and cultures.

2. War and peace

Consider me a pacifist, because I really do not believe in war. Hatred and negativity will honestly get us nowhere. Why hate on things when you can respect and love? Isn’t it tiring to hate? I have been on the hating end and trust me it is very exhausting. In the end, I was only bringing myself down and affecting my own life. But for war, I can understand how messy it can be and the pain and suffering that came from it. Although war can be so immature. Sometimes things just happen and there isn't really anyone to blame it for. What’s happened, happened. Passing on blame to anyone for all our miseries isn't really going to solve anything, we’re just gonna continue dividing society even more than it already is. 

Which brings me back to the topic about being neutral. I hate how people force us to “pick a side” and if you don’t, you’re an enemy to them. (I am using the word “hate” lightly. It’s to the situation as a whole, not the people themselves) And apparently you’re also an oppressor by just letting it happen. I agree with that but only to a certain extent. Since war can be so immature, picking a side at all is gross. Why are you even trying to divide yourselves further? Let go of your ego and take a big step back and see the full picture. In the end I don’t think it’s even about winning or losing anymore, because war is a loss for everyone. Nobody can leave the battleground unscathed one way or another. War always brings destruction. Having a mindset that you can only destroy to create is just… screwed up. I’m sorry. I am being as nice as possible about this and this is where I stand my ground if you want to disagree with me on that one. 

In light of recent news and happenings, the Israel-Hamas situation. If you ask me, I’ve seen plenty of both sides. Overall? It’s exhausting. I think it’s so heartbreaking to see people tear each other apart. And it’s even more heartbreaking to see the ones who never asked for this war to get hurt. Ironic how an atheist is saying this, but I do pray for the situation to get better for them.

Unpopular opinion, but: I think some things in the world are meant to be divided forever. It is near impossible to ever get all humans to come together and not start conflict because of our differences in race, culture, religion, gender, ideologies, opinions, preferences, status, age, it will just go on and on. Even if we one day come to an understanding of each other enough to give each other respect and equality, I don’t think we can ever see each other the same because of how different we are. Humans want to be unique. And that’s okay. I don’t believe there is a real solution to peace. I am not being pessimistic about it, I am speaking realistically. The world is too divided to be ever brought back together; it is very complicated. But maybe that’s just the way things are meant to be. It’s just human nature. And of course I’m not being miserable about it, I am accepting it and living with it. Through my past experiences, I’ve learnt to shove down my ego whenever necessary and I’ve learnt to show people respect no matter who they are. The world is never perfect, but that’s okay. It’s all the more that makes the world interesting. Even if we ever have world peace, wouldn’t life be boring? There wouldn’t be a journey and lessons to learn from opposing point of views. Life would be too perfect and empty. Just like without light, there wouldn’t be darkness. But that’s just my opinion about it, and I’d like to hear yours :) 

3. Conclusion

My personal philosophies are,

We are all the same as a human species. We all have experiences, feelings, memories and opinions of our own—we all need to shit, eat and sleep everyday with a roof over our heads. And with that, there’s nothing else that should divide us anymore. Be grateful life is even a gift to us all. 

Love whoever you want to love, love whatever you want to love. As long as you’re not hurting anyone in the process including yourself, and as long as you’re truly happy. 

I believe the best way to live life is going with the flow of it with an open heart. Life may bring so many surprises, and there are so many things in this world that are temporary. Nothing is permanent, so be open to changes and live in the moment while learning from your past and embracing the future.

Everything needs balance. There is no in between. Don't do too much of one thing and too little of another. Stay in the middle or anywhere just right for you and you might just find peace.

This is getting long haha. I didn’t really plan out what I wanted to write, but I had some ideas in mind. I just went with the flow of my thoughts. I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading till the end. And once again, I sincerely apologise if my words have hurt or offended you in any way. 

Have a great rest of the day ahead!  ♡ฅ(ᐤˊ꒳ฅˋᐤ♪)

[melon-kiss]

This is just going to be a ramble about everything Sherlock. You’re most welcome to discuss or just ignore it. I needed the space to vent.

I watched Sherlock. Again. I think it’s beginning to become my annual tradition. And I have a crisis. Don’t get me wrong, I am always Sherlollian at heart. It’s just… I have doubts sometimes. And what triggered those doubts this time was the fact that Sherlock calls Molly “John”. Twice. And then Irene Adler. And then one post on Tumblr. And many, many more.

OK, these are just my random thoughts. Enjoy if you’re willing to read them.

 1. “John”. “Molly”.

We often mix up names of people we consider to have the same place in our lives. Which is good, right? Right. Only, in Sherlock’s case, we’d have lean into the theory that Sherlock does love John romantically and feels the same way about Molly. Or concede the fact that he loves them both platonically. Neither of these options is really satisfying, isn’t it? Well, that’s why I’m struggling… One could say he’s in denial of feelings for Molly and identifies them as friendship, as this is the strongest, purest relationship in his life, the only one he describes as emotional and the closest he’s ever had to love. Besides, Molly and John are similar in one way – they both share the same – medical – knowledge. Of course, Sherlock doesn’t realise her other qualities until The Reichenbach Fall when she says she can help him whenever he needs it. It’s not until she’s honest with him again and tells him, without a shred of grudge, that she knows she means nothing to him, that he realises he has at least two friends. He calls her “John” when his mind is busy with something else, so there’s no room for any purposeful confusion. The same thing happens in The Empty Hearse. What else can it mean if not friendship?

 2. Nothing Hits Like Irene

Irene Adler is created as the love interest for Sherlock. Is she, though? Well, we see Sherlock utterly confused upon their first meeting. We also see him flirting and creating an atmosphere of sexual tension for the first time. OK, he saves her but then she vanishes, he got over her, I thought. And all was fine until The Lying Detective came and Irene Adler sent a text to Sherlock, first in such a long time. John, of course, suggests that if Sherlock should be romantically involved with anyone, it should be her. And then it hit me.

Irene Adler is the symbol of chemistry in Sherlock’s life.

She’s a dominatrix. She’s all about sex, that’s obvious. At the critical point of The Scandal in Belgravia Sherlock says: I believe John Watson thinks love’s a mystery for me but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very distractive. Sherlock discovers that he, indeed, can have chemistry with people. He doesn’t mention love, he merely says sentiment, referring to the crush Irene Adler had on him. She is, indeed, a simple distraction – you can see it clearly in his memory palace when he yells at her to get away. But Molly… Molly stays. She leads him through the entire process of surviving a shot.

And then Irene Adler returns in The Lying Detective. John confesses to Sherlock about texting with a stranger met on the bus. And that he wanted more. Sherlock says everyone gets to be human sometimes. Even he can’t resist the urge of replying to Irene Adler sometimes. It was all about attraction again.

And that’s why she’s not considered a romantic relationship in his life. John rambles about love changing him, to be more specific, the love of his woman changing him. But he says Irene’s a dangerous criminal. How would that change Sherlock in any way?

In The Final Problem, upon deducing the coffin, John suggests Irene Adler but she’s not his first thought in general once they all hear that this is about someone who loves Sherlock. Sherlock’s response is very telling: Don’t be ridiculous. Look at the coffin. It seems like Sherlock pieces the puzzle at once – the coffin, plus the “name” on the lid – it couldn’t have been Irene Adler.

And that’s why Sherlock calls her The Woman. As a symbol of his sexuality. The Woman who’s woken up certain impulses in his life.

 3. Makeshift Gauge

Who is she?, Sherlock asks John in His Last Vow.

Based on what Mofftiss duo said about Molly, she was supposed to be featured in two episodes top. Yet, she stayed. The uncanonical character not only stayed but became fans’ favourite. I think she became a useful tool for Moffat and Gatiss. I think that not only she represents Sherlock heart (of which existence he has no idea at first) but later becomes our makeshift gauge. For what? For measuring Sherlock’s progress. See, it’s like when you live with someone, you don’t notice when they put on weight or grew a little but those who see less of them will notice all changes right away. So, when Sherlock runs around with John, we don’t notice the change in his behaviour at once (also because he’s always been nice to him, from the very beginning), we need to focus to see that. But Molly pops by once per episode and we see how Sherlock’s perception changes. In season one, he has good intentions, but they turn out bad. In season two, he’s more neutral but doesn’t restrain himself from rude comments. And Molly is being Molly – tells him he’s rude in her natural, soft way and he says sorry. For the first time. Without anyone making him do that. Almost the same happens in The Reichenbach Fall – but this time, Molly doesn’t let herself be fooled by Sherlock’s arrogance and just ignores it, going straight to the point. She says: “I’m here for you” and lowers his defences. In season three, he spends an entire day with her, smiles at her and is the sweetest, softest Sherlock we’ve ever seen. Moreover, when Lestrade asks him about her helping him solve cases, he says: [John] is not in the picture anymore, implying that she not necessarily had to be a temporary replacement. In season four, he says I love you to her.

What can we deduce about his heart?

 4. The Eurus Conundrum

We could write an entire book about Eurus and not even be able to grasp her spirit. I’m not going to do that right now.

I have issues with what happened in season four finale. I mean – Molly, of course. Mycroft says Eurus and Jim Moriarty met five years ago, so before Moriarty revealed himself to Sherlock. They both planned the entire game for Sherlock. Does that mean Sherlock never really won with him? Does that mean Moriarty let him use Molly to “win”? Since she was included in Eurus’ plan, we can safely assume Jim knew about Molly back then. At first, when I saw Moriarty saying We both know that’s not quite true [that you don’t have a heart] in many Sherlolly fanvids, I was like naaaaah. He didn’t see her as one of the important people in Sherlock’s life, it couldn’t have been a reference to their meeting. But now… how deeply back in time was Eurus’ plan allocated? Which events did she predict?

Or maybe I’m missing something? Any thoughts on this?

 5. Sherlock Evergreen

I once came across a post here, about how BBC Sherlock is literature, about sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s struggle with his own genius character. He was over with him, didn’t feel like writing any more of his stories so he killed him, but fans demanded more. He kept writing, although he hated it from the bottom of his heart. Season four, so often considered as the worst of all of them, is a way of saying that Sherlock character is, unfortunately, invincible. Immortal. He will live forever. We can’t kill him, no one can. Even his creator couldn’t have done it.

In season four, Sherlock goes back to the start. He is a clean slate again. He went through the entire process of change – became a good Sherlock, considerate of other people’s feelings and emotions, appreciative, supportive, loving, ready to mend what he broke. That interpretation, although very good, kind of killed my Sherlolly spirit. But I guess every interpretation like this would do it. If we stop treating characters like real human being, we’re left with what they really are – a construct, tools, puppets in the author’s hands.

Based on this, I think we’re safe to say there will never be a fifth season of BBC Sherlock (gosh, how I wish I was wrong!). Why? Because, despite what Moffat said in an interview once (after season three finale he said they’ve plotted out the entire fourth and fifth season – liar, liar, pants on fire!), season four had the perfect ending. As mentioned above, Sherlock became a good man and Mary Watson summed up what Sherlock is all about: two man, a genius junkie and a former soldier, who solve the weirdest, the toughest of cases together in flat on 221B Baker Street. Now, Sherlock is ready to be taken over by other artists who may find a new way to tell his story (though, I don’t think so) all over again.

And that’s a big, big shame… I think I speak for at least most of Sherlollians when I say we’d like to see Sherlock and Molly’s first encounter after the call. The finale really closed all the story arcs and subplots, except for this one. I mean, c’mon. You don’t have to be a Sherlollian to be annoyed by this – just remember that it was such a “biggie” that Moffat was asked about this in an interview. And this may be another reason as to why we won’t ever get a fifth season of Sherlock – because that would mean taking a side. And none of the creators will do it because Sherlock cannot be an open-and-shut case. It has to be like literature: big, open, twisted, unclear and full of room for interpretation. As long as there’s no certain explanation – yes, Sherlock loves Molly, no, Sherlock is gay – we create more and more content out of the need of closure. Thanks to the room for interpretation, the story lives. I mean, it’s been four years since The Final Problem airing and here I am, discussing BBC Sherlock still.

 Coming back to Sherlolly… don’t worry. Though I’m still not sure that we can harvest any hard evidence for Sherlock’s feelings for Molly (other than friendship and respect), I’m still a Sherlollian. There two new fics waiting for me to pull myself together and write them. I think it’s good to have doubts – it means my brain hasn’t rotten yet and I can still be critical, I’m able of having my own opinions.

 Thank you if you managed to read it all! I’d love to discuss if you have any conclusions. If not, that’s fine, too. I just needed it get it out of my system.

PS WHY DOES MY POSTS IN ENGLISH SOUND SO SOPHISTICATED IN MY HEAD BUT WHEN I PUT THEM IN WRITING, THEY’RE SO SHITTY?!

[kimtaegis]

I am sorry you are feeling down about not liking BTS's recent direction, collabs, etc. This is the only band I've ever been into where people think it is unacceptable to not fully support everything they produce. It is totally normal to not like an album or song, to wish things didn't change from a direction you were really happy with. I hate when fans get torn apart for not liking a song or album. You are allowed to have an opinion, to have your own taste and preferences, to be an individual. You're still a fan if you're listening to the music you DO like, even if you stop paying as much attention to future releases. I have seen many, many ARMY who don't like these new short, pop songs that lack a lot of the things that they loved about the boys' previous work. Will they continue in this direction? Who knows. I personally don't think so because I can't see them preferring this over the work they've self-produced, but if they're truly enjoying experimenting in this new realm of music that's okay. They can experiment. I'm pretty sure their next album isn't gonna be a bunch of 2:30 minute pop songs not bc they aren't allowed to change but bc this change is so far off everything they used to do that it just doesn't seem like a natural progression. I saw someone theorizing in another post a couple weeks ago that they still haven't done their MOTS7 performances and still want to promote those songs so they might not be interested in producing more idk...serious...typical BTS content? Because they're in a weird break-ish period and it makes sense to bring in these foreign producers and release light hearted, fun dance songs that can be sprinkled into concerts to get people moving and jumping or help them promote to new ARMY rather than working on writing and producing, etc. a whole new MOTS7 album they won't be able to properly promote or perform either. That's all speculation and idek if you liked MOTS7 either but idk it made me feel kind of good to imagine they're just doing something light hearted right now bc they are still holding on to MOTS7 and can't really do something of that scale right now without pushing MOTS7 off the pedestal before they even get to do the tour, you know?

I rambled a lot, but basically what I wanted to say is it's okay to dislike some songs and to wish they were different. It's okay to constructively criticize, every creator needs that to help guide them. If you have no idea what direction to go, what anyone actually likes or dislikes because everything you release is met with cheers of "this is amazing!" than you have no direction. Everyone needs feedback to improve. I'm not saying blind, baseless hate is good, but I am tired of seeing ARMY who have real opinions being attacked or afraid to speak because the hivemind fans think it is unacceptable to have any opinion other than "everything they do is perfect" even when it isn't. Putting the boys in a bubble does not protect them the way they think it does, it restricts them.

I really need to keep this ask stored safely somewhere, because you really just summed up everything perfectly and in such an intelligent and respectful way. I honestly don’t even really now what to add, you put it in a nutshell. Some might think it’s unnecessary and only drama-inducing to talk about “being a fan” like this, but as I had to painfully experience myself this morning, whether it be endearing or going way overboard, people can have a deep emotional connection to them, and can get very, very upset about it. These men are a huge part of my life right now, to the point where they can also make me feel distressed, but mostly immensely happy, and I think it’s valid and necessary to have some more serious discussions about it from time to time too. It’s not like we wake up every day and go: okay let’s overanalyse everything they do and make everyone lose the fun of it all! I wanna have fun and love them, so much. But I also wanna stay true to myself, be critical and question things.

Oh geez I completely drifted off here, I think I needed to tell myself that, sorry about that. But again, I’m blown away by your point of views and argumentation. Thank you for sharing <33

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Thank you for tagging me @gallavictorious ! 🧡 It’s been a bit since I had the time or energy for writing, but it was fun to go back through things for this.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,527,620

3. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Somnus Ultima (FFXV)

The Seven Soulmate Commandments (Shameless)

Royal Protocol (FFXV)

Unashamed (Shameless)

Lips Sealed (Shameless)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Ordinarily, I do. I have a bit of a backlog right now that I need to get to. I’ve always been of the mind that if someone took the time to provide feedback, I can find the time to thank them. Unfortunately, that sometimes means being…months behind now. There will be some surprised people when I get through my inbox who’ve probably already forgotten they read my work.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

World So Cold, the first story of a Captain America/Harry Potter AU trilogy that nobody asked for but I had a great time tormenting the five people who read it with.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Honor Bound, the one and only “fix-it” fic I have ever written and will ever write. This is what happens when you take a fantastic concept, grind it up over years of production team changes and company overhauls, and throw together the scraps that remain.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’m not really a huge fan of crossovers, personally. I prefer to place characters in a different setting, like that Captain America/Harry Potter AU trilogy I mentioned. That said, my only crossover was Cabin Fever, which…may or may not count since dreams are involved.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I wouldn’t call it “hate,” but I’ve had a couple of people comment with criticism that I wouldn’t exactly count as constructive. I tend to ignore it and agree to disagree on our preferences.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Never. Not in this life or the next. Finding ways to avoid writing it in the Shameless fandom was difficult but, fortunately, I succeeded.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To my knowledge, no.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, though someone did offer to translate into German once. (That Captain America/Harry Potter AU just keeps coming back to haunt me today…) I declined since I would prefer to have the opportunity to check and make sure none of the meaning was lost but don’t speak German.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

On three occasions, yes. There was one I sincerely hope has been lost to the bowels of the internet, Royal Protocol with @irregularrogue , and (How to Break the) Alibi Armistice with @gallavictorious . (She’s got the link in her post!)

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

…To write? Uh. Well. I honestly don’t enjoy writing ships very much… Romance isn’t as interesting to me as other relationships, so I think I’ll cop out and just say if there’s bromance, I’m game.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I…think that I am coming to accept that In Pieces may remain unfinished. I stopped at a point where I’d actually be comfortable making that the official “ending,” but I absolutely hate that…I’ve simply lost steam. That’s what happens when you write fifteen lengthy stories in just a few months, I guess. Ordinarily, having detailed outlines helps me stay focused when I start getting tired, but the content and rapidly deteriorating coherence of Ian’s perspective has really weighed on me to the point where I took a break and never really recovered the same energy I had for it. I’m still hoping to get back to it someday, but whether that will actually happen, I can’t say. Good thing it wasn’t really getting much traffic—I’d feel even worse if I was disappointing even more people than I may already be.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do well with keeping a story flowing. I tend to write from specific perspectives and make the narrative sound like an internal monologue, which can limit the amount of information a reader receives but makes it fun to only show what the character knows. I believe I’m also pretty good at making ordinary thoughts sound a little prettier by using different words. I just don’t like reusing the same phrases over and over.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

In connection with the previous question, I can get too wordy. What I could say with one sentence can take me a paragraph to get out. Sometimes that’s called for, especially if the character is in a position where they’re rambling to themselves, but sometimes it’s unnecessary.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If I have a character speaking another language, I’ll usually put it in italics and indicate that they’re speaking another language. (…Like all the Russian in my Captain America/Harry Potter AU. I haven’t thought of that series in YEARS, yet here we are.) I don’t trust that Google translate will provide an accurate translation that would stand up to scrutiny by those who actually speak the language, and it can really detract from a story as a reader to keep scrolling to the bottom to see what the footnotes say. To each their own, but that’s my system.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter back on good ol’ MuggleNet Fanfiction. They’re all still there, too!

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

My brain…doesn’t work that way, unfortunately. I only write for fandoms that I fixate on, so there really isn’t any casual fanfiction for me. I’ve wanted to write Kingdom Hearts fanfiction for years, but it’s so compelling and complex as it is that I can never think of what I’d write for it and have therefore done very little despite it being my first and longest-standing fandom. Typically, though, the desire to write smacks me in the face when I consume something new and have that “oh…I need more…oh no” moment.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I would say it’s a tie between Somnus Ultima and the Light in the Shadows series (you guessed it—the Captain America/Harry Potter AU). While the former can be wordy and the latter is obviously one of my older works, what they have in common is that they required the most creativity. The rest of my fics tend to be canon compliant (or had better be for the endless research I put into them) and feel like playing in someone else’s sandbox. Those felt like taking multiple sandboxes, pulling them apart, and creating a brand new sandbox from the various pieces. I’m more proud of them than I can say.

I don’t really know many fic writers on a basis where I’d feel comfortable tagging them, so I send this out to just @glon-morski , @gardenerian , and @mrs-monaghansblog if you so desire! 🧡

[funkymbtifiction]

Hey, I gotta ask, how much does MBTI and enneagram impact how people work and learn. As a grad student, having a supervisor tell me I’ve done a good job and hand me several pages of revisions on a one-page project proposal is a great thing because I like being pushed intellectually and want my learn and improve in all aspects of my work. When I do sports and creative endeavours same thing, I always want to be successful or at the very least better than I was. I’ve done this with people in different community organizations and it pissed them off. I’ve definitely made people cry because they’ve taken suggestions on improving their various projects as a personal attack and have a reputation for being a hard-ass sometimes. I really do try to work with people and accommodate their needs if I’m in a position of authority, I just don’t like bullshit. Over time I’ve gotten better at tact and finding good strategies for different people over the years so am definitely making progress there but some people who are difficult. The people who value obedience to authority over progress and curiosity, the people who like being stagnant and lack ambition, arrogant people who never listen, there’s plenty of challenging people (I can be challenging sometimes too ngl, I’m smart and hardworking but tends to improvise stuff that should not be improvised and don’t fear conflict as people tell me I should). Are there any telling signs of how to use someone’s MBTI or enneagram to understand or work with them better (broad questions, I know) and if so how does it help to work with or around difficult people? 

-------------------

Uh. A lot.

You are expecting them to respond like you do to criticism and adopt it and self-improve, whereas a better strategy would be to set out “feelers” to find out if people WANT constructive feedback. The vast majority of people… don’t. If they do, they will often ask or hint for it, accept the criticism, and decide whether or not it is valid or a matter of opinion. Some people will get hurt by it, but then reflect and absorb it; others will see instantly you are right on how they can improve; some will simply think you are “mean” and never speak to you again.

As an editor, I work with the touchiest people of all���writers, who pour their heart and soul into their work and think it’s wonderful when they send it to me, and really do not want to hear about past-tense verbiage, unnecessary over-use of “that” and “was,” or that the last paragraph of their story should be the first line. The more I interact with people, the more I get a sense of their “emotional levels,” and the more I know how to interact with them – the TJs will accept criticism, the FPs often will not, the FJs will feel hurt, the TPs often don’t care what I do to their story in the editing process, and will listen when I say, “Cut this down by 1,000 words. You ramble too much.”

So yes, knowing MBTI type is important, as is knowing the Enneagram, because a 2-core ENFJ is going to be way more offended by you pointing out what they did wrong than a 5-core ISTP. And the better you know the types, the better you can figure out how to get them to improve, by framing something in a way that they will accept.

With 1s, be honest but don’t make it sound like they did something wrong, because that will make them angry—their entire lot in life is oriented around not making a mistake (“being bad”), so don’t drive home the point too hard.

With 2s, compliment them on everything they did right and what a good quality of work they did, and wrap your suggestion (if it’s even necessary and not a matter of personal preference) in pleasant language.

With 3s, you can be more straightforward and come at it from an angle of self-improvement leading to greater success (I assume you’re a 3?).

With 4s, they won’t listen anyway and will write you off as an uncultured swine who doesn’t understand them, so don’t bother.

With 5s, they can be touchy about “not knowing enough,” so make sure you don’t imply that in any way, shape or form. Make note of their knowledge base and point out a resource that would teach them what you think they need to know, so it’s a “you might like this and find it useful” tactic, rather than “here’s what you’re ignorant about.”

Same goes for the 6, who tends to be more anxious and reactive around criticism since they are always afraid they are not good enough, smart enough, know enough, or logical enough; be careful how you frame criticism, because they will analyze it to death and feel insecure about what they did for you.

With a 7, if you hammer them too hard you will send them into a ruthless, self-criticizing 1ish loop, so be pleasant and compliment them on how colorful and fun their approach is, and make light suggestions.

With an 8, they will either listen to you or they won’t, and they have zero problems with you being blunt, so go for it. Just be ready to duck if you piss them off, because they’ll tell you what YOU did wrong.

With a 9, they will either agree with you up front while feeling hurt or ignore your completely by kicking into gut-stubbornness, so I’d keep your criticisms to a minimum.

Rule of thumb -- you can offer feedback to thinker types more than feeler types without causing an emotional implosion. You may want to adopt a piece of wisdom from a friend of mine – unless it involves your job and it’s literally your place to correct other people, don’t offer unsolicited feedback or advice. People won’t thank you or like you for it.

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 4

*not my gif*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 3580

Warnings: still a crazy ass bih lol. I can’t stop with the drama sorryyy

Summary: Y/n starts noticing how weird Tom is being and decides to confront him.

A/N: I think I’m going to post two days in a row then have one day off, but like a sis is nearing the end of her school year so let’s hope I stick with it haha. Please lmk if you’re enjoying this/ have any constructive criticism. ALSO I need help like ded ass don’t know if I’m stupid or if it’s tumblr’s fault, but when I tag people some of the tags don’t work :/ BUT don’t hesitate to ask to be a part of the tag list :) 

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

+++

*week and a half before lock down*

You opened the door to the flat exhausted after a long day of filming and walked into the living room to see Tom busy on his laptop. He looked up, 

“Oh hi, y/n.” He shut his laptop and stood up, you gave him a strange look.

“Leaving already? Do I smell or something?” You joked and flopped on the couch. Tom has been acting really strange with you after the dinner with his family. Lately he’s been leaving you alone whenever one of the boys got up to leave as well. ‘Was he feeling awkward about being friends?’ you thought to yourself. 

“Oh no no you don’t smell. You always smell nice,” He blushed because he said too much, “Just need to work on this script, Harry’s been on my ass about it.” He said and began to walk away before you could reply.

“What? Not even gonna ask how my day was... you know like a friend?” You teased and Tom sighed and squeezed his eyes shut and turned around

“How was your day, y/n?”

“It was long, tiring, and someone was really rude to me on the set.” You sighed and waited for him to sit back down so he could listen, but he never did, “Ok then… how about your day, Tom?” This was starting to get awkward, 

“Didn’t really do anything, just ate and worked on the first act of the movie, which still isn’t done so if you’ll excuse me I’m going to my room now.” He said quickly, turning around again walking away.

“How rude. ‘Ya let’s be friends, y/n, it’ll be fun.’” You grumbled and mimicked him in an annoyed voice. Tom heard and felt really bad to pretend he didn’t.

-

You were now sitting on Harry’s bed watching him edit his short film and eating ice cream, he listened to how your day went,

“And oh my god one of the stunt fighter guys was being a straight up asshole,” You rolled your eyes eating another spoonful of ice cream,

“How so?” Harry asked

“Well I kept messing up this one stunt where I was in heels and we ended up filming it 7 times. I mean I felt bad for wasting time, but that was until the dickhead said, ‘I don’t even know why they casted you, it’s a simple stunt just get this shit down already so we can move on!’” You said in a deep voice mimicking the guy, “I was so embarrassed, but thankfully Ryan stood up for me. Still ruined my day though.”

“What the hell? What kinda asshole-,” He got up from his spot on the bed all riled up, “Who is this guy? I’m gonna end him. Does he even realize how damn hard it is to do a stunt in heels?” You laughed at Harry’s protectiveness, “Tom literally took half a day to film one stunt and he wasn’t in heels!” You shrugged.

“Sit your ass back down. Thanks for trying to protect me, but everything will be fine, I’m strong. It’s business gotta suck it up.” He rolled his eyes and jumped on you with a bear hug. You laughed and tried to push him off of you, but he was too heavy. 

“Harry, you bitch, I can’t breathe.”

“I just want to protect my best friend.” He said before letting you go and going back to editing.

“Speaking of Tom, have you noticed that he’s avoiding me?” You asked quickly.

“Huh? I haven’t noticed anything of the sort. I mean you guys are both really busy right now aren’t you?” You nodded and rested your head on Harry’s shoulder,

“I mean I guess, but haven’t you noticed like yesterday when you left the kitchen Tom rushed a bit to leave also?” 

“Oh yeah I forgot about that, it was quite strange now that I think about it.” 

“Yeah Tom’s been doing that to me ever since we left your parents’ house. And when I got home today I tried to talk to him about my day, because you know I thought he’s my friend, and he just said he really needed to work on the script and left to his room!”

“Hmm, I did tell him to finish the first act by tomorrow, but he’s been working in the living room all day. Said something about his room being more of a distraction. Also it’s not like Tom to leave without hearing someone out. He always listens.” You just sighed,

“I guess he thinks it’s still weird to be friends. I tried, sorry, Harry.”

“Please don’t give up just yet, y/n, maybe he’s just stressed or something. You know I wouldn’t want to pick sides.” You nodded and started to drift off to sleep and felt Harry remove the bowl from your lap.

-

“Y/n, love, wake up.” you were being shaken by Harry.

“Huh? Oh sorry, did I fall asleep?” You asked groggily and he laughed,

“Yeah and I finished editing the short film!” You jumped up no longer tired anymore.

“Oh my god yay, Harry! Can I see it now pleaseeee?” You jumped up and down on the bed.

“Tomorrow, love, it’s 1 am now and I want to show everyone in the house at the same time.” You pouted and he laughed.

“Fine then be like that. But I’m proud of you.” You hugged him, “Good night, Harry, can’t wait to see the finished product!” 

“Night, love.” He chuckled and you walked out with your empty dish.

You pulled out your phone and opened the Instagram app to see that Tom posted something on his story about 30 minutes ago. It was a picture of the script and his foot captioned, “Working on something big, like my big toe.” You giggled a bit and muttered, “Idiot.” The next story post was from Tuwaine, it was a picture you all took together after breakfast when Tom burnt himself. You were laying across the boys’ laps and Tom was happily looking down at your smiling face. It was captioned, “If lock down happens, it’ll be a real party with these people.” You smiled and reposted it to your story.

As soon as you reached the kitchen you saw Tom sitting at the counter and typing away on his laptop.

“Hey, Tom, still working?” Tom jumped at the sound of your voice.

“Jesus, don’t scare me like that. And yes I couldn’t sleep, b-but I think I’m getting tired now.” He was about to close his laptop and leave, but you stopped him. 

“Oh my god… I’m just gonna put my dish in the sink and leave.” His frazzled expression turned to a relaxed one and he sat back down typing again, refusing to look at you. You began to walk away then felt the urge to ask,

“Tom, a-are you avoiding me?” It came out quieter than you thought, you felt vulnerable. He stopped typing for a brief moment when you asked.

“No, definitely not. Why’d you think that?” You walked back to the counter and stood across him leaning on the surface.

“I’ve been noticing that you're in a rush to leave the room when we’re alone…” Tom continued to type, but incorrectly because of his nerves. 

“Oh, I-I’m sorry, love, didn’t mean for you to think that. I’m just busy is all, I promise.” He said and pointed at the laptop.

“Too busy to hear your friend rant about her day?” You asked and he sighed. His heart dropped when you called yourself his friend.

“I’m afraid so, love. Now why don’t you go sleep don’t you have to film tom-” You cut him off getting tired of the excuses,

“Tom cut the shit, I know you’re avoiding me and I don’t get why.” Tom sighed as you rambled and he put his laptop to the side because he wasn’t getting anything done, “I really appreciate you letting me stay here, but shouldn’t we at least talk a little bit? I mean I was ready to be friends with you for Harry’s sake and then we talked at the dinner and then I was genuinely ready to start off on a new foot. I’ve been trying so hard to reach out to you and you’re literally avoiding me now. Like are you even trying at all? Because I don’t-” Your eyes began to water. Tom got too frustrated and cut you off,

“Y/n I can’t talk about this right now. Please, it’d be better if we discussed this another time.”

“What the hell? Are you being serious? You were a dick when we broke up, you were a dick when I tried to reach out to you, and now you’re being a dick for putting our so called ‘friendship’ on ho-”

“Y/n, stop! Ok? I get it. You can call me a dick and an asshole whatever you want, but this is all for you! Everything I do is for you or because of you! So just leave me the fuck alone, please.” His voice cracked when he said the last sentence. 

“What the hell are you talking about? What are you doing for me?” You stared at him confused.

“I can’t say anything, it’s for the best. Just drop it.” You looked at one another, tears threatening to fall out of Tom’s eyes, you hadn’t noticed you were already crying.

“No. I’m not gonna leave until you tell me what’s going on, Tom. I care for you and I want to be here for you, just tell me what’s going on please.” He looked at you and furrowed his brows making tears stream down his cheeks, it hurt to see you so sad especially since he caused it. He turned around in distress and brushed his hands through his hair before turning back to you. He looked into your eyes and sighed knowing there was no way out of this situation.

“I’ve been avoiding you because I told Allana you’re my ex.” 

“Ok and what’s so ba-”

“Let me finish, y/n, please.” You apologized softly.

“I told her not to tell anyone because I didn’t want to break the promise of letting the world know that we dated. A-and she threatened to spill the secret if I didn’t stay away from you. She said if I ever told anyone about what she said or if she ever saw me close to you again she’d expose us right away. I-I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship because I decided to be honest to my two-faced girlfriend.” All this information hit you like a train.

“Wow, what. a. fucking. Bitch.” You said stunned, Tom scoffed.

“I feel like an idiot for not listening to the boys and not seeing the red flags.” He sat back down and put his head in his hands. 

“Hey don’t worry, I didn’t notice anything either. Hell I tried to help her. Maybe we’re too gullible…” What you said didn’t really help so Tom began to sob a bit. You walked over to his side and put a hand on his forearm so that he could look at you. His heart was racing at your touch.

“Look, I know Allana is bat shit crazy, but…” You paused thinking if this was a good thing to tell him, “I uh I don’t think I can have you avoiding me all the time, I want you in my life,” He looked up at you surprised, “a-as a friend.” His heart dropped, was that all you were ever going to see him as? A damn friend? 

“Ok, but Allana will tell everyone, and I know how much you care about your privacy.” He said with a stuffy nose, you grabbed a tissue for yourself and Tom.

“I know, but we’ll figure out a way. We were clever enough to hide a 6 month relationship.” You smiled, but you both felt sad when you mentioned your past. He got up and wrapped you in his arms tightly. You swayed back and forth as you felt wet droplets fall on the top of your head, and you soaked Tom’s white t-shirt. You both weren’t crying only because of what just happened, but because you missed one another in a way that words can’t explain. You let out the tears you didn’t cry from when Tom didn’t respond to you and remembered the nights you’d go through old pictures of you and him alone. Tom was crying out all the tears he wanted to let out when he saw that picture of you and Gavin and from the nights that he craved your touch. He tightened his arms around you like it was the last time he’d ever see you. 

“Allana might be watching from outside the window, I’m gonna let you go now.” You said and Tom chuckled sadly letting you go, “We’ll talk about what we can do about this situation in the morning or another time.” You smiled kindly at Tom and he nodded. Tom grabbed your hand softly before you could walk away and pulled you close. You gulped because of how close you were to him,

“Thanks for being so kind, sleep well. Goodnight, y/n.” You smiled and replied,

“Thanks for being more kind to me. Goodnight.” You gave him one last hug and walked away feeling relieved while Tom still felt guilty despite what you said. He still felt like he needed to do more.

-

You woke up at 8 AM feeling a lot happier for some reason. Maybe it was because you cleared things up with Tom last night or because you were going to film a really exciting scene today with some new people. 

You walked into the kitchen, “Goodmorning boys!” You said enthusiastically walking up behind where Harry was seated and gave him a hug from behind.

“Ew why’re you happy?” Harry asked, still tired. 

“Morning, y/n!!” Tuwaine and Haz said in unison. You grabbed a bowl and poured yourself a bowl of cereal.

“Harry, when are we gonna watch your film, I can’t wait any longer.” You complained.

“Maybe when you come back from set, I want to go back to sleep after I eat.”

“Ugh you’re so lazy.” You joked, “where’s Tom, isn’t he usually up by now?”

Tuwaine looked at the other boys then at you apologetically, “He uh left around 5 this morning.”

“Oh for an early workout or something?” You asked, taking a bite of cereal.

“No,” Tuwaine cleared his throat, “to Berlin, Germany.” You choked on your cereal. 

“Wait what, you’re joking I thought he leaves in 3 days.” 

“I don’t know exactly why he left, something about needing a few days for himself before filming. Which I understand because he’s been working hard.” Haz said and you furrowed your brows, was it because of what happened last night? Harry noticed your concern.

“Y/n, do you know exactly why he left?” You wanted to tell him, but you couldn’t. If the boys found out what Allana said they’d definitely do something about it and you couldn’t let that happen. You shook your head,

“Nope, I’m just as confused as you are.” You said coolly.

-

“Are you sure you don’t know what was making Tom stressed?” Harry asked as he pulled up in front of the studio.

“Ya, I’m sure. He’s avoiding me, remember?” It pained you to lie to Harry like that, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to let the world know you and Tom dated. Harry looked like he didn’t believe you, but he let it go.

“Ok then… Text or call when you need me to pick you up.” You thanked him again for dropping you off and walked to the set. You saw Lana and walked with her,

“Hey, babes, did you see the text from Melissa?” You shook your head no. Melissa was in charge of scheduling which scenes would be filmed every day, “She said everyone needed to meet at crafty’s before going to sound stage 32.” 

“Really? Why?” 

“Not quite sure, but there’s been rumors that filming will be postponed.” Lana said sadly.

“Wait, you’re joking.” She shrugged and shook her head as you guys entered the food tent, everyone already looking disappointed.

“Hi everyone, as many of you know Covid-19 was just announced as a world wide pandemic and we’ve just been shut down from shooting anymore scenes at least for two weeks.” Melissa said everyone groaning, “Yes I know this sucks, but please stay safe and healthy while we’re shut down. If you have a trailer here please make sure you clear all your things out because there will be a cleaning team here in two days to…” You drowned Melissa’s voice out

“Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse…” You sighed and dropped your head on Lana’s shoulder and she patted your head.

“Lastly make sure you all stay in the same shape you are in now, so nothing looks different when we resume shooting.” Melissa hopped off the table and everyone began to clear out to get their things. You called Harry telling him the sad news. 

-

“I’m so upset, Harry, today sucks.” He patted your thigh as he made a right turn.

“It’ll be ok, love. I’m sure you will go back to filming in no time and you’ll actually miss having a break.” You just leaned your head on the window wondering if Tom at least made it safely to Berlin, and in that exact moment your phone pinged. 

Tom: Hi, y/n, I assume the boys have already told you that I left for Berlin. I just landed. I’m really sorry for not giving a warning, but the space is for the best. I hope you can understand xx

You were upset with everything and everyone at this point and Tom’s text just ruined your mood more. How does he know what’s best for you? Mad and feeling petty you texted back,

You: k.

Tom: Please, trust me, y/n. This will help out our situation.

You: Last time I checked running away from your problems never helps the situation.

You threw your phone back into your purse annoyed.

“Oh shit, what the fuck is she doing here?” Harry asked, displeased. You looked up to see Allana pulling into the driveway just before you and Harry did. 

“Great. Just fucking great. Harry, I think I’m gonna scream.”

“I think I will too. Can we just drive around until she’s gone?”

“That would be nice, but I think she already spotted us and won’t leave.” You pointed at her going to sit down on the porch. Harry groaned and pulled into the driveway. As soon as you and Harry stepped out the car she stood up and barked,

“Where the hell is Tom? He hasn’t texted me since yesterday afternoon, today is our 5 month anniversary.” Well that makes things more complicated. Harry looked at you with wide eyes, “What? Why’re you looking at her like that? Did you have something to fucking do with this, y/n?” She said giving you the dirtiest look ever. ‘Bitch I hope it wasn’t because of me.’ You thought. Harry got closer to you in protective mode.

“No no I swear. We were all surprised to see Tom gone this morning.”

“Gone? Where the hell is he?” 

“He went to Berlin early. Now if you’ll excuse us we’d like to relax in our home.” Harry said not letting you talk, almost standing in front of you now. You both began to walk past her, but she squeezed your arm tight and yanked you back. You winced in pain.

“You bitch what did you do? Don’t even think about fucking lying to me.” Her eyes burned into your soul.

“Allana, what the fuck you’re crazy! back off!” Harry said, pulling you back behind him, “I suggest you leave now before things get more ugly.” He said in the most intimidating way possible.

“Ok, but the only thing ugly about this is whatever y/n did with Tom. I don’t doubt for a second that you’re a stupid whore. I saw that photo of you laying on him last night, and I’ve seen how you flirt with Tom you sk-”

“Allana that’s enough, go now!” Harry yelled and she looked surprised. She glared at you before stepping back, “Stay the fuck away from Tom he doesn’t need your ugly ass all over him.” “Allana, sweetie, we live in the same house. Quite dumb of you to think we can really stay away from one another.” You laughed darkly as tears of anger welled up in your eyes.

“Ok then, cunt. Go near him, I dare you. You have no idea what I’m capab-”

“Allana, I said fucking leave!” Harry was tired of this shit. Allana scoffed and finally drove away.

Harry turned to you cradling you in his arms as you let tears fall down your face, “I hate today…” you hiccuped, “a lot.” 

“I know, I know.” He cooed. You looked up at him, “I know something is up, y/n. You need to tell me why my brother really left so I can help you.” You sighed and nodded.

“Ok let’s get you cleaned up.” He kept you close to his side and you both walked in. Tom was so wrong thinking him leaving would solve anything.

+++

Tag list:  @averyfosterthoughts​ @thollandx​ @mrsjeffwittek​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @racewife2004​ @greatpizzascissorstaco​ @witchything​ @wheelertozier​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @rafficorn @jessirosebud​ @peterspideyy​ @superstarchick​ @jackiehollanderr​  @astridcommings @mineymak712 @hollands-osterfield​ @inhumanwithpowers​

[katshi]

The Mermaid Pendant

Farmer (F) x Harvey

Possible Trigger Warnings: Light alcohol use. Mention of Non-Consent.

Author’s note: This is my very first fanfiction. Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Please enjoy this silly fluff story!

Word count: 4050

Chapter 1

She held the mermaid pendant in her hand, carefully examining it. It had seemed like it had taken weeks for the rain to come so she could finally purchase it. Sure, she could have proposed with a ring like they do in the city. It would probably have been ok, considering Kala wasn’t originally from Pelican Town. But ever since she had heard about the strange marriage tradition of this sleepy valley she knew that she had to propose like a local. “Now,” she thought to herself “All that’s left to do is to plan the proposal,”. The hot air balloon ride was quite something. “It will be difficult to top that,” Kala thought.

                                                               *** The next day Kala made her way to the clinic after completing all of her farm work for the day. She was carrying a couple of black coffees with her as usual. She entered the clinic.

  “Hi, Maru,” she said cheerfully.

  “Hi Kala, are you looking for Harvey?” She asked.

  “Yeah, is he free right now?”

  “Sure, go ahead,” Maru replied.

  Kala approached Harvey’s office, making sure to knock before entering.

  “Come in” she heard his voice through the door.

  “Hi! do you have a spare 10 minutes to share a coffee with me?” Kala asked.

  “Of course, I can always make time for you,” Harvey replied.

  “Great,” Kala said while sitting down and handing the coffee to Harvey.

  Kala took a couple of small sips , it had taken her a little while to get used to the taste of unsweetened black coffee but now she actually enjoyed it. “Um” Kala mumbled  “There is actually something I would like to ask you,”

“What is it?” enquired Harvey.

  Kala felt a little nervous, but tried to act cool “It’s just like asking for a normal date,” she kept telling herself.

  “Well, how would you like to go for a hike up the mountain this Sunday? It would be nice to enjoy the scenery before Summer ends, and I know you were trying to do a bit more exercise, it... it would be nice to do something like this together,” Kala was rambling.

  Harvey paused for a moment. “Sure, that sounds lovely,” he replied.

  “Oh! Great! Ok,” Kala found it difficult to conceal her smile “I’ll pack us a lunch, and if you meet me at my house on Sunday morning. Around 8 AM maybe? We should probably get an early start before it gets too hot”. Kala beamed.

  “Sounds perfect,” Harvey said calmly as they both finished their coffees.

                                                                 *** Early that Sunday morning Kala was frantically looking through her wardrobe. “Should I just wear something cute and comfortable? Maybe I should wear something a bit fancier? This will probably be a day to remember” She thought. The time was quickly approaching 8 AM. The packed lunch was ready and waiting in the fridge, the pendant was hidden in her backpack but Kala was still so anxious. Kala glanced at the clock.

  “Oh! Gotta hurry, he’ll be here any minute!”

She quickly threw on her usual denim dungarees, a white flowy blouse and fixed a ribbon in her hair. At that moment there was a knock on her door.

  “I’m coming,” Kala shouted.

  She ran over and opened the door.

  “Good morning,” Harvey greeted Kala with a beaming smile.

  “Good morning!”

  Harvey was standing there wearing brown shorts, a light green polo shirt, a sweatband and had quite a large backpack.

“You certainly look ready to hike,” Kala commented.

  “Haha, yeah I guess you don’t see me like this that much..” Harvey said, blushing slightly.

  “Come in for a minute, I’m nearly ready. I just need to put the lunch away and put some sunscreen on,''

Kala gestured for Harvey to come in. Despite how long Kala and Harvey had known each other this was the first time Harvey had been inside Kala’s house. He cautiously entered and stood in the living room.

  “Take a seat, don’t be shy,” Kala said.

  “Thank you,”

  Harvey sat down on the blue sofa and glanced around the room. Kala placed their packed lunch inside her backpack, quickly checking to make sure the pendant was still there. It was. She gave a quiet sigh of relief. Then she took her sun cream and began applying it to her face.

  “I presume you’re already wearing sun protection,” Kala said to Harvey.

  “Yeah, I’ve got to be careful with this pale skin of mine,” Harvey replied with a chuckle.

  Once Kala was finished applying her sun cream she placed her backpack on her back with a thud.

  “Ok, I’m ready when you are!” She declared.

  “Alright, let’s go,” Harvey said.

  Kala led the way up the mountain path. The light shimmered through the leaves of the trees similar to how the sun reflects off of a pool of calm water. The cicadas in the distance gently hummed and the birds sang sweetly. A gentle breeze rustled through the foliage and danced around Kala’s ponytail. It was altogether a beautiful late-summer’s day. After several minutes of hiking Kala could hear Harvey’s breath become louder and his footsteps became slower. Kala turned to him and smiled.

“How’re you doing back there? Keeping up?”

  Harvey’s face was bright pink and beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. Harvey let out a heavy sigh.

  “Yeah, just about managing.” He paused “I’ve still got a long way to work on my fitness though, could we slow down a little?”

  “Of course!” Kala slowed her pace and walked side-by-side with him.

                                                                  *** They had been walking for a couple of hours now and the summer heat was really beginning to intensify.

  “I think we’re nearly at the summit,” Kala said eagerly.

  “I…*pant*… can’t …*pant*… wait…” replied Harvey.

  Kala picked up her pace a little, making her way to the next clearing. She stopped suddenly.

  “We’re here, we’re here!” She jumped up and down excitedly. “The view is amazing!” Kala exclaimed.

  Harvey hiked up as quickly as he could, panting the entire way. When he had caught his breath he looked up and took in the view.

  “Wow,” he whispered.

  The mountains appeared to go on forever with Zuzu city nestled neatly in the valley. It looked so small from this distance.

  “So? Shall we stop here and eat?” Kala asked.

  “Yeah, I definitely need a break,” Harvey replied.

  Kala took out a picnic blanket from her bag and carefully placed it on the ground. Harvey sat down and began gulping water from his backpack. She removed a few boxes from her bag and began opening them to reveal some tasty-looking sandwiches, cherry tomatoes and various other cutely-cut veggies and fruits.

  “Ok, let’s eat,” She said enthusiastically.

  “Looks delicious” Harvey smiled.

                                                                ***  

The lunch went down well.

  “That was wonderful as usual,” Harvey said. Kala blushed.

  “Thank you,” She paused.

“Um, actually, I also brought some wine, if you’d like,” Kala rummaged around in her backpack and produced a bottle with a clearly homemade label. “It’s starfruit wine, I’ve been producing it all summer, it’s meant to be delicious!”

  “Oh! That does look good!” Harvey said with a glimmer in his eyes “…but, I’m not sure about drinking it now, maybe later, after the walk?”

  “Oh, yeah, sure,”

  Kala looked a little disappointed but returned the bottle to her bag. They sat in silence for a little while. She couldn’t stop herself from tapping her fingers nervously. Her heart was pounding. She slipped her hand inside her backpack to check for the pendant. She felt around but could not find it. Kala started to panic a little. She picked up the bag and began digging through it furiously, still no luck.

  “Is everything alright?” Asked Harvey, concerned by the worry on Kala’s face.

  “Um, … uhh,” Kala wasn’t sure if she should be honest or try to pretend everything was ok. “Well, I think I’ve lost something,” she confessed.

  “Oh, what have you lost? Let me help you look for it,”

  “Um! Actually it’s ok! I’ll look for it myself,” Kala replied sharply, a mixture of anxiety and embarrassment on her face.

“How could I lose something so important, I’m such an idiot,” She thought to herself.

  “Ok then,” Harvey said, looking confused and slightly hurt.

  Kala’s eyes darted quickly around the area. Then she saw it, glinting in the sun on the edge of their picnic blanket. Relief washed over her. Harvey’s eyes were drawn to where she was looking. He squinted. He couldn’t quite make it out at first, but then he realised what he was looking at. 

“Oh!” He exclaimed and picked it up. He hadn’t seen a mermaid pendant in person before but he could tell exactly what it was by the stories he had heard.

  “Is.. is this what you were looking for?” He couldn’t quite believe it.

  “Ye.. yes!” Kala stuttered and blushed deeply.

  Harvey looked stunned. “W.. wait. You realise what this means here, right?”

  “Yes of course!” Kala said, slightly annoyed.

  “…and, you were planning on giving it to me today?” Harvey asked, still not quite able to accept what was happening.

  “Yes! Harvey, you’re smart, kind, hard-working and always there for me. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” 

Harvey’s eyes were glistening. “I… I’m not sure what to say. But, I accept!” Harvey leaned in to embrace Kala. He squeezed her tightly.

“It’s hard to believe someone like you would want to marry someone like me,” He said.

“What do you mean? You’re so wonderful, I was so nervous that you might decline,” Kala had tears in her eyes. 

“How about that wine now, huh?” She said while wiping her face.

“Well, I guess one glass won’t hurt” He chuckled.                                                           *** Chapter 2

Kala and Harvey sipped their wine leisurely while watching the world slowly go by. The birds soared high above their heads and darted around playfully. Curious squirrels jumped from branch to branch, while leaves fell slowly around the couple like confetti.

  “This wine really is delicious,” Harvey announced.

  “It tastes even better under the circumstances” chuckled Kala.

Harvey smiled. The sun glistened through the golden liquid. They finished their glasses and Kala went to rest her head on Harvey’s lap.

  “This is nice,” she hummed.

“I’m so happy” replied Harvey as he gave Kala a peck on her forehead. After a little while of bathing in the glow of their feelings of bliss Kala slowly stood up.

“I suppose we should make our way back now.” Kala yawned.

Harvey groaned as he stood up.

  “I still can’t believe you would want to marry an old man like me,” he said half-jokingly. Kala gave him a swift kiss on the cheek.

“You’re not that old” She smiled.

Harvey and Kala made their way back down the mountain with the evening sun warming their backs.

                                                               *** Kala unlocked her front door and flung her backpack onto the couch. Harvey followed her inside to the kitchen. Kala began pouring two glasses of cool water.

  “Here you go,” Kala passed one of the glasses to Harvey and took a big gulp from her own glass.

“Thank you,” Harvey took a large sip. Beads of sweat were still forming on both of their faces and their hair was damp as if they had been caught in the rain. Kala pushed her fringe to one side and examined the droplets on her hand.

“We could both use a shower,” Kala snickered. “Do you want to stay for a bit? We could get cleaned up, have some dinner and finish that wine...” Kala questioned, sheepishly.

  Harvey hesitated for a second or two then replied. “We shouldn’t let that wine go to waste, should we?”

Kala smiled.

“Do you want to have a shower first? I can get you a spare towel, and um…” Kala paused to think. “I don’t think I have any spare clothes that would fit you…” Kala looked disappointed.

“It’s ok. I brought a spare shirt actually,” Harvey piped.

Kala raised an eyebrow before quickly turning away to find that extra towel. She didn’t know whether Harvey had ulterior motives from the start or if he was just well-prepared. “No, no, Harvey isn’t that kind of guy,” Kala thought to herself. “It must just be the romance of the day making me think about these kinds of things.” She followed up her train of thought.

  “Here you are!” Kala beamed and handled Harvey a bright blue and green towel.

“Thank you,”

  “You can use any of the soaps and shampoos in there, none of it is particularly special,” Kala chirped.

“Sure, thank you,” Harvey headed off towards the bathroom.

Kala wandered back to the kitchen and heard the shower turn on. “It’s pretty nice having someone else around the house, and pretty soon it will always be like this” She pondered and smiled as she began to chop up some veggies. Kala was placing the wine glasses on the table as she heard the bathroom door unlock. She peered over. Harvey was wearing a casual pale shirt and black boxer-briefs. Kala quickly turned away and blushed intensely. “Oh dear, was he not finished getting dressed?” She asked herself. Harvey came around the corner drying his hair with the towel. He saw Kala’s red cheeks.

“Oh sorry, I must have forgotten to pack some spare trousers,” Harvey blushed a little.

“I.. I didn’t think you would mind, seeing as we’re engaged now,” Harvey added.

“Er... Of course not. I was just a little shocked that’s all,” Kala said flustered and trying to hold back a nervous laugh.

  “Anyway.. you must be hungry. Let’s eat! I’ll grab a shower a bit later,” Kala announced.

“Ok,” Harvey took a seat at the dining table.

Kala poured out the remaining wine and served up some grilled salmon with steamed broccoli, green beans and carrots.

  “Smells delicious” He said as they both dug in.

                                                                   *** The couple had cleaned their plates and finished their glasses.

  Harvey leaned back in his chair as he mused, “That was divine, thank you,” Kala was already pouring out the remainder of the bottle between her and Harvey’s glasses. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,”

“Woah, woah, slow down. I’m already getting tipsy here,” He feigned protest.

Kala continued until both glasses were full. “We can’t let this go to waste now, can we?” She grinned brazenly. “Besides, we’re celebrating!”

“O..okay,” He blushed as he indulged his fiancee, then took another sip.

  The night continued on as they nursed their drinks and chatted about trivial things. After a while Kala suddenly sat up straight in her chair, 

“Oh! I should go get myself in the shower before the alcohol takes hold,” she proclaimed but her cheeks were already flushed.

  She wandered over to the bathroom and shortly after Harvey heard the water raining down from across the house. He continued to sip from his glass but could feel his eyelids becoming heavy. Kala emerged from the bathroom after some time, longer than her usual shower. By this point the alcohol had clouded her judgement to the point where she thought donning her silky, sheer stockings, and lacy black underwear was a good idea. Her face flushed a deep red as she prepared to unveil herself to Harvey.

“...ok, I’m finished,” She called out across the hallway.

  No reply. Not wanting to continue shouting she began to cautiously tiptoe her way back to the dining room. She took each step more slowly than usual, in an attempt to keep her footing against the smooth wooden floor in her brand-new, glossy stockings. Kala could hear the familiar ticking of the clock and the more peculiar sound of gentle and rhythmic sighing. As Kala drew closer to the dining room the scene became clear. Harvey’s head on the table, cradled by his arms. He was quietly snoozing. Kala grinned, it had been a busy day after all.

  “Ok, let’s get you to bed then,” she spoke softly to him.

“mm hm,” Harvey replied in his half-conscious state.

Kala gently removed his glasses and brushed his hair away from his face. She lifted under his arms to encourage him to stand. Him began to wake a little, but was not completely aware of his surroundings.

“Where are we going?” he mused.

“To bed,” she smiled innocently.

Kala draped his right arm over her shoulders to support him as he took each wobbly step.

“Ok, sounds good,” He yawned. Eventually they made it to the bedroom. Kala sat Harvey down on her double bed and instinctively he laid down and pulled the covers up to his chin. Kala stumbled around to the other side of the bed and joined him under the covers.

  “Good night, my love,” She whispered then gently placed a kiss on his forehead.

“Mmm,” He smiled then began to snore.

                                                                    *** The sunlight began to burst through the curtains and creeped it’s way onto the couple’s bodies. The brightness and gentle warmth woke Harvey. He squinted through the drowsiness and took some time to become aware of his surroundings. Once he realised where he was he bolted upright in shock. He immediately noticed a warm heaviness tugging at his arm. Kala was still sleeping soundly while latched onto his arm. He smiled as her angelic face before realising the implications of the situation. He frantically searched his memories for what might have occurred the previous evening, before accepting the fact that he could not recall anything past dinner. Harvey began to get out of bed. Kala started to stir as she felt the disturbance. Her eyes slowly opened but remained heavy with sleep.

  “Good morning,” she yawned. She sat up and stretched, revealing her lacy lingerie.

  “G..g..g good morning,” Harvey blushed and sputtered out the words. In his mind, his partner’s attire had confirmed his suspicions.

  Kala noted his expression and recalled the previous evening. Before she could set Harvey’s mind at ease he spoke.

“Kala, I’m so sorry,” He looked distraught.

“It’s ok! Every-,” Harvey cut her off.

“No! It’s not ok. You… you were vulnerable and I…,” Kala had a puzzled expression on her face.

He continued. “I took advantage of you,” Harvey averted his gaze.

“You what?” Kala questioned.

“Clearly, I had too much to drink and, and…”

  “Harvey, wait,” She commanded his attention, “What do you think happened last night?”

“Um, well. We had some drinks with dinner and then we must have gone to bed together,” He paused. “But, we were intoxicated and so I fear I may have pressured you,” He sighed. “... and I don’t even remember it,”

Kala smirked, then could no longer hold back her laughter.

  “Wh.. why are you laughing? This is serious, what if you become pregnant?”

Kala wiped a tear from her eye. “Harvey, you’re so sweet. Let me explain,”

He looked into her eyes with anticipation.

“I can understand why you would think that based on what I’m wearing,” She admired her outfit for a moment. “But, after I showered last night I found you sound asleep at the dining table,”

“I was already asleep?”

She nodded. “Yes, I decided that you should just sleep here. I hope you don’t mind,” She shrugged.

“So you’re saying that we didn’t have, er, sexual relations?” Such words shouldn’t be difficult for a doctor but even Harvey found himself blushing when confronted with the one he adores so deeply.

“Nope, I mean I guess we did sleep together. But in the most literal sense,” She smirked.

“Besides, you were the one who was unconscious. If anything had happened it would be me at fault,” Kala emphasised.

Harvey shifted nervously. “Er, yes, I suppose you’re right,”

Harvey sighed “I… I’m so relieved,”

  Kala closed in to embrace her fiance. Her mouth melted into his. “I love you,” She whispered once her lips released his.

  Harvey’s cheeks were burning as they parted. “Ah, well, what’s the time? We best get ready for work,”

“Oh yeah! Can’t have you being late, can we?” She smirked briefly such that Harvey couldn’t tell if his beloved was being serious or gently mocking him.

Kala looked over to the wall clock and Harvey followed her gaze. “6:20, huh?” She stated.

“What?!” He exclaimed. “I thought it must have been later than that!” he shifted his gaze then added, “...Considering it all...”

“Speak for yourself! I’m usually out on the farm by now!” She chuckled.

“I suppose, I shouldn’t keep you then…”

Kala smiled, “Weeeell,...” She crept her hands around his waist and drew herself in for another embrace while maintaining her gaze on him. “...the chickens can wait a bit longer just this once,” Her eyes sparkled as she smirked.

Harvey blushed. “o..ok,”

                                                                  *** Harvey walked hurriedly through Pelican town, until he was almost jogging. Glancing at his watch every few seconds, he desperately wanted to make it back to the clinic before Maru arrived for her shift. The glass door was in sight. Harvey breathed a sigh of relief as Maru was nowhere to be seen. He slipped his hand into the pocket of his shorts and searched for the keys. Nothing. He checked the other pocket. Again, nothing. Beginning to panic a little, he removed his backpack and began rifling through it. After a minute or so of searching he had found them. The keys were, of course, secured in one of the side pockets for safe keeping. Focussed on the lock, he began to insert the key.

“Good morning, Harvey!” A cheerful voice startled him.

  “Hah.. good morning, Maru,” He returned her smile.

As Maru approached she examined the situation. Harvey’s cheeks were flushed, his hair unkempt and a bead of sweat rolled down his neck.

“H.. how was your weekend?” He stuttered.

“Oh, you know, it was ok. How was yours?” The emphasis confirmed to Harvey that Maru knew something was up.

“G… good! It was really good, thank you,” He could feel his cheeks burning.

Maru smiled as Harvey opened the clinic’s door and let them both in.

As the door closed behind them Maru broke the silence, “Spent the night at Kala’s then?”

Harvey stopped in his tracks. He let out a quiet sigh “Haaa… I suppose it’s pretty obvious,” He forced a defeated smile.

Maru grinned, “Well it’s either that or you took up early morning running,”

“Did that possibility really seem so unlikely?” Harvey was a little offended but he laughed it off.

Maru chuckled. “It’s ok, I won’t tell,” She brought a finger to her lips playfully. Harvey knew well how gossip spreads in this small town.

  “Actually, I have something to tell you,”

“Hm? What is it?” She replied instinctively.

Harvey took a deep breath, still unsure if he was dreaming “Kala and I are getting married,” His eyes glistened with love.

“Oh! Congratulations!” Maru bounced with excitement.

  “Ha ha, thank you,”

“You’ll have to tell me all about the pro-,” She was cut off as Evelyn opened the door for her wheelchair-bound husband.

Maru hurried over to them to hold the door open. “Good morning, Mrs Evelyn, Mr George. You’re a little early today,”

  “Oh Dr Harvey doesn’t mind,” She hadn’t yet noticed him standing there in shorts and a t-shirt.

Maru smirked “Well, you may need to wait for a bit this morning. The Doctor isn’t quite ready yet,”

Evelyn looked over towards Harvey, “Oh dear, yes I see. That’s not a problem, you take your time Doctor,”

“Hmph, lazy kids these days,” George grumbled.

“Dr Harvey has just taken up running, and I think he’s not quite used to incorporating it into his morning routine yet,” Maru gave a subtle wink to the doctor.

Harvey broke his silence, “Hah yes, I’m very sorry about the delay this morning Mrs Evelyn, Mr George,”

  “Not to worry dearie, we’re in no rush. Besides you have to take care of your own health too, doctor,”

George simply scowled.

“Thank you. Well, then if you’ll excuse me for a few minutes,” Harvey turned to the make his way upstairs.

As Maru floated over to the front desk she whispered to Harvey “You'll have to fill me in on the details later,”

  He smiled and nodded towards Maru. Grasping the azure spiral shell from underneath his shirt. -End-

[verstappenist]

Pillow Talk | Four/Billy

A/N: Hi there I’m providing you with yet another less than average fic! This time for Four, well Billy! Again feedback as well as constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!

Word count: 1,962

Warnings: a tiny little bit steamy? but not really? bit sad too

Part 2!

Billy normally isn’t one for one night stands. He just doesn’t do them, for various reasons. The main reason being his job, having to keep his identity a secret, trying his best to not leave a trace of his existence makes it hard. One always told him, he should live a little, to “get some every once in a while”.

But he only did it once.

It was after a successful mission in the city that never sleeps, the whole group decided to go out and celebrate with a few drinks.

A few rounds in the only ones still at the table were Four and Seven. Two and Three couldn’t keep their hands to off each other and excused themselves before either going to the bathroom or leaving the bar completely. One and Five, as far as he knew only went to the bar to get another round, but were gone for at least ten minutes now.

Looking around the dimly lit local, trying to spot his friends his eyes stopped on a girl standing at the counter, looking around as well, probably searching for her friends, or her boyfriend, who knows.

But when your eyes met his bright green ones, your search got forgotten pretty quickly. You noticed his wouldn’t leave you either, so you raised your drink in a ‘cheers’ manner with a wink.

Billy took it as a sign and quickly stood up, “I’m going to get us the drinks, looks like One and Five are not coming back any time soon!” He told Seven - actually Blaine, but well old habits die hard - before leaving towards the bar.

Luckily for both of you he got a spot right next to you, politely asking if the stool next to yours was free. And even though it was not - you were here with a guy from your boring nine-to-five job who you, after rejecting him about four times, decided to give a chance and let him take you on a date -  you gladly offered him to take a seat.

“So… do you come here often?”, Billy asked, a cheeky smile gracing his lips. He wasn’t expecting an answer and even if he was hoping for one, it for sure wasn’t you bursting into laughter. And it genuinely was the best thing he’s heard in a long time.

“Did you seriously try to chat me up with that line?”, now that you started laughing you couldn’t stop. Maybe it was because of the ridiculous flirting attempt, or the alcohol was slowly showing his effect.

Embarrassment taking over Billy turned beet red, trying to form a sentence that at least made some sense when you interrupted him. “You’re cute, blondie. And to answer your question, I do come here quite often.”

After your response the grin returned to his plump pink lips, “What can I get a pretty lady like you?”

You started giggling again, “You seriously need to step up your flirting game! But I’d like another Cosmo please.” He called over the bar keeper to order your drinks when you put your hand on his that was set on the bar, “I’m (y/n) by the way.”

“Four, pleasure to meet you”, he smiled, sliding a twenty over to the barkeeper to pay for the drinks he just ordered.

“Four? That’s quite the interesting name… but nice to meet you too”, a slight blush covering your cheeks, “what brings you here?”

“Just, uh, drinks after work I guess? I’m here with some of my colleagues, you?”

“Well, I was here on a date-” “A date? Oh fuck I’m sorry! I should- I’m- let’s just forget I was here okay?” “-Christ Four, it’s alright! He left me for some highschool friend of his to catch up. I’m actually glad you’re here”, he wasn’t a hundred percent sure you were telling the truth but when he saw the small, only slightly sad, smile on your lips, he had no other choice but believe you. It’s not like you’ve been dying to go on this date with Greg, but getting left at the bar isn’t a nice feeling.

“Are you su-”, Billy began before you interrupted him. “Positive, please stay. Keep me company, but only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to, my co-workers left too, well most of them did, except for Seven, but he’ll be fine”, the blonde reassured you with a soft smile.

The two of you continued talking about unnecessary stuff for another hour, the drinks flowing until you were both far more than tipsy.

“How- how about I take you home? Alright? It seems like you had enough now”, Billy stated, helping you on your feet, “where do you live, darling?” God he could call you darling in that accent all fucking day and you wouldn’t get tired of it.

“Just two blocks down”, you smiled lazily at the handsome guy you’ve spent a good part of the evening talking to. ”Okay, love, guide me.”

You were in front of your flat in no time, and sad that he was probably going to leave now and you’re never going to see him again. Alone the thought of that sobered you up a little, “Do you wanna come in for a coffee? Or just some water? You know to sober up a bit? Prevent the hangover?”, suddenly insecure you fumbled with your keys before unlocking the door to your small flat.

“Yeah I’d love to!”, his reply far too quick to not be awkward, but the big smile on your face made the internal embarrassment totally worth it. “Great! Come in then!”

With an equally as big and dorky smile he entered after you, the door falling shut behind him. “Hi, baby I’m back! Yes, I missed you too”, you cooed at something in the living room. Billy’s first thought immediately went to ‘Oh my she’s got a child!’ But he got proven wrong when you returned to the hall with a black cat curled up in your arms. “Four, this is Roger, my baby”, an adorable giggle fell from your lips as the furry creature licked your fingers.

Jumping into Billy’s arms Roger cuddled against his muscular chest, his long fingers quickly finding their way into his fur. God those fingers and what they could do to you, by this time your imagination was already running wild. All night had you fantasised about it, and what was under all this unnecessary clothing.

Billy continued to pet the cat for another five minutes before Roger decided she had enough and left for the living room, leaving the the two of you alone in the hall again. Yeah, no this isn’t going anywhere he thought. “I-I.. (y/n)? Did you only invite me in for coffee?”, hand nervously rubbing his neck, she wasn’t the only one fantasising all night. His mind went elsewhere everytime the straw of whatever drink she was having passed her lips, or when she was looking up at him with those pretty doe eyes.

His question clearly caught you off guard, suddenly a blushing mess you didn’t verbally reply, only shook your head. “Use your words, Darling. Tell me, why did you want me to come up with you?”, his calloused hand cupped your jaw, forcing you to look him straight into his bright green eyes, eyes to get lost in.

“I- No”, you admitted, the blush turning an even deeper shade of red, “I want you, probably just as much as you want me.”

And boy was she right,

If anyone entered your flat right now, they would think someone broke in and tried to rob you. In your rush you had accidentally knocked over the lamp in the living room and of course clothes all over the place. Billy’s shirt even landed on poor little Roger.

In the room next door Four just rolled off of you, still in that post-sex-bliss after not having any action in months he curled his arm around your waist, pulling you close. “Christ that was amazing”, Billy groaned placing a soft kiss on your temple.

“I’m glad I was able to please”, you giggled kissing along his sternum. “So… Four, don’t tell me that’s your real name.”

“No, it’s not”, he chuckled caressing your back, “but I’m not allowed to tell anybody, don’t want to upset my boss.”

“Oh and why’s that?”

“Well, if I tell you he might kill you, because we’re supposed to keep it on the low, and not interact with people, even if it’s pretty girls like you”, his hands finding their way into your hair, somehow he can’t keep his hands off you.

“You’re scaring me, just a tiny little bit… But what if I promise not to tell anybody? Will you tell me who I owe the best and most intense orgasm to?” Bringing back the puppy look he couldn’t help but give in.

“It’s Billy.”

“Billy? That’s adorable”, you giggled bringing your lips to meet his in a short but sweet kiss.

“Baby, I think we both know that I am far from adorable… I think I made that very clear not even an hour ago.”

“Touché.”

There was a quiet moment between the two of you, but far from uncomfortable. You were just enjoying each others company and the closeness, as well as the heat radiating from your nude bodies. But one question still needed to be asked.

“Will I ever see you again?”, your voice small and insecure, almost inaudible.

He question hung in the air, tension replacing the soft light mood. “You- I, I totally understand if this is the last we see of each other. I imagine your job, or whatever you’re doing, doesn’t allow you to be with someone given how hesitant you were at first… In that case I want to thank you for tonight, and I doubt I will find someone like you ever again. Boy you are driving me wild and I only know you for a few hours!”, you were rambling now, putting some distance between you by sitting up.

Billy didn’t like that, he quickly followed pulling you in his lap again. “Baby, you had me wrapped around your finger the second I saw you. I really, REALLY enjoyed our time together, and god what would I do to stay with you, but I’m dead, love. Everyone I knew before I started with this madness thinks I’ve died, I technically don’t exist anymore! I really want to see you again, but I won’t be staying here long enough. I can promise you one thing though, whenever I’m back here, every single time, the first thing I’ll do when I’m done is come and visit you, okay?”

Tears were blurring your vision, not wanting to let go, you kissed him with as much emotion as you could nodding. “Don’t break that promise, please. You’re so much more than just a one time thing. You made me crazy for you I just can’t let this be our last time.”

“I’m not letting that happen, I swear as long as I’m alive I will return to you, if you wait for me.”

“I promise, I’ll wait for you”, voice airy, sealing the vow with another kiss. “Let’s go to sleep , love. We’ll figure something out tomorrow”, Billy whispered, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Answering with a nod you settled back in the mattress, snuggling up to him just like Roger did earlier.

Sleep took over the both of you quicker than you’d liked.

Billy held you close the whole night, keeping you safe and warm. Yet you woke up with the left side of the bed cold, his body replaced with a pillow and Roger softly purring next to you.

Tag list: @anotheronebitestheskye​

(Just send me an ask or a message if you want to be tagged in my future work!)

[obaewankenope]

Hi Kat, just dropping in since Ao3 won't let me write a direct message XD. First of all, I am currently working my way through the Absconding series, such a delightful read, thank you for it! I just saw your note, and hope I might make a suggestion? Would it be possible to make a note on this in the tags? I think you are absolutely in your right to refuse criticism you don't want, but I on my part might not have known if I had read your work anytime before now. (Hang on, out of space)

(Part 2) I sometimes do bring up points, suggestions and such in comments, and try to be constructive and positive about that, and I would hate to give offense. I would guess it would be the same for others? In any case, I hope this was okay. You have every right to make sure writing FF is, and remains, enjoyable for you, and I think this might help. Again, love your work!

Hey nonnie, I'm glad you're enjoying the AwHv series! That makes me happy. I have to say however, I don't feel like I should have to state "no criticism/constructive concrit" in the tags. I'm writing AwHv with the intention of enjoying it myself and sharing it with others so they can enjoy it. If I, at any point, explicitly say "please give me constructive feedback/criticism" on a fic, I'd say it in the author notes and would, naturally, expect it to be polite.

I understand that you don't want to cause offence and I appreciate that you've sent me an ask regarding it. I can clarify my personal stance on comments on my fics.

If you see a typo, I'm fine with it being mentioned. If you see a major continuity error (for example, I mention a character having a specific item in their possession in one scene and then state that they don't in a chronologically subsequent scene), or if there's an issue like footnotes or links that I haven't noticed because I'm not reading the fic as a reader. In those cases, a polite message is fine.

What is not fine (and I say this to everyone who reads my fics, so it's not aimed at you specifically) is commenting and making suggestions as to how a scene "should have gone" or "could have". Asking questions about what might happen in the future of the fic is different. But sharing an opinion on how the story should go is not something I appreciate in the slightest.

"Lol, great fic, are you gonna have Crowley propose to Aziraphale at some point because that'd be awesome?" is different in tone to "lol, great fic, you should totally have Crowley and Aziraphale propose at some point haha". The first one is a request and question of what the future of the fic will be, the latter is a polite demand or expectation of what that reader wants and expects me to provide.

It's a little thing, but it's a significant thing nonetheless.

Now, I work, personally, on the assumption that all commenters on my fics who come across as perhaps rude or presumptuous aren't skilled with English. With this initial perspective, it allows me to be polite in response and not nasty to them. Because I am aware that there is a nuance to writing a comment that can be lost when jumping languages. If there is a response to my polite response that is still demanding or combative, that's when I become less nice and much more direct and blunt.

In general, regarding AwHv, I don't have that many concrit comments anymore (perhaps because people have realised how much I don't tolerate them) and the same is true of most of my other fics.

Apologies for rambling so much about this nonnie, but, basically, you can comment if you see a typo or a Major Problem With The Fic and point it out to me, but commentary on whether a character is believable or a scene done well is unwanted and not appreciated.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

I want to talk a little bit about politeness while requesting

As some of you may know, I take requests for writing. I currently have five fandoms that I write oneshot requests for and upload to on Wednesdays over on my Ao3 account. I’ve been doing this off and on for almost a year now, and I’ve noticed that there are generally three types of people that request things from me.

Type 1: Sweet Babies

generally open with some kind of greeting

get right into the prompt

very polite

kind of shy

sometimes include a compliment about the oneshot they’re commenting on or the writing style

end it with something like “hope you’re having a nice day” or “stay safe!”

Type 2: Quick Ones

no greeting

the prompt is very small

bad language/spelling errors/typos

generally requesting smut

sometimes just leaving the ship

Type 3: Entitled Dickbags

no greeting

“Do one with...”

“Make one...”

try to get around the rules

will comment back to me trying to explain how their request doesn’t break the rules

When oneshot is completed

no comment back

“Kudos”

“Liked it”

Now I’m going to be honest and say that I prefer the Sweet Baby type of requester, but I am kind of ambivalent when it comes to Quick Ones. I understand that requesting something can be kind of overwhelming and scary, so you may not want to make it super personal and dedicated. 

I absolutely hate whenever I get an Entitled Dickbag because there’s nothing in my rules saying that you can’t be rude. This allows them to be able to walk all over me and it fucking sucks. I haven’t been able to stick up for myself a lot in the past and I’m just barely starting to do it. When these people come on, it’s clear that they either haven’t read my rules or they just don’t care about them. I have those rules to keep my mental health safe. They’re things that I won’t write about for a reason, either because of personal traumas or because they’re just a huge violation of my moral compass. These people generally come on and act like they’re entitled to have me write whatever they want because I’m an author on the internet with open requests. Their language is aggressive, crude, and sometimes even demeaning. 

If I was being paid by people to write stuff I would have a little bit of leniency and maybe tolerate this a bit more but I’m not. I’m doing this because I like writing, I like making people happy, and I want to explore some plots and scenarios I may not have thought of on my own. But then Entitled Dickbag type people show up and make me feel awful inside. They ask me to do things that are way out of my comfort zone, demand that I do it, and there’s no kind of thankfulness out of them. 

It’s one of the worst feelings ever when you spend hours to days working on something for someone and they just respond with “kudos” if they respond at all. You have no idea if they actually liked it, if they appreciate it, or if they think that you HAD to do this for them because they asked for it. These are the kinds of people that make me want to shut down all of my requests and never open them up again.

I know that this got a bit personal and rambly, but I’m going to try and bring it back now. Underneath is a list of things that you should try to do while requesting from anyone, not just me. Keep in mind that everyone has different boundaries and if they’ve clearly laid those out for you, you should respect them. Don’t even toe that boundary line because that can sometimes still make someone feel uncomfortable or even trigger them.

Opening

“Hello!” or “Hi!” is perfectly acceptable

Think of it more like you’re writing an email instead of just sending a comment or ask to someone

Prompt

Try to make sure that your prompt makes sense, read it over before you send off the ask or comment

Make sure that your prompt isn’t so long that it’s basically just the whole story, this doesn’t allow the author to actually write anything

DO NOT under any circumstances break the rules or toe the boundary line of an author

Make sure that you have some kind of plot in mind if you’re going for that sort of thing and don’t just want something super vague

I’ve gotten a couple prompts just explaining the relationship between characters and not actually telling me what they wanted. It’s very hard to write something when you just have a character relationship 

Don’t have the prompt be so specific or long that you’re making the author write an entire fanfiction for you. A lot of oneshot requestors have tons of oneshots that they want to write or have backed up, so making a request for something super long can be overwhelming

Make sure that you’re prompt isn’t something they’ve already written. I know this can be a lot to ask if they have a lot of oneshots out already, but writing the same smut scene for the same couple over and over again can get really tedious and suck the fun out of writing

Closing

This isn’t required but it is nice!

While “Thanks!” is acceptable do not use “Thanks in advance!”

I understand that “Thanks in advance!” sounds nice and all, but it makes the author feel a bit pressured to write your prompt because you’re already thanked them for it, even if they prompt is breaking their boundaries or rules

After prompt has been posted

Also not required, but definitely a nice thing to give the author that just wrote you a oneshot

Try to notice things that you did and didn’t like as you go down

Most authors like constructive criticism and will enjoy it when you give it to them 

At least say thank you, or that you liked it if you don’t want to go into detail

[typicalfictosexualfangirl]

Exchanged Whispers (BNHA Fan Fiction) - Chapter 1: Vernal

A/N: i’ve been seeing a couple of fanfictions where the reader is portrayed as a villain’s daughter aiming to become a hero or something of that sort, so i thought i’d change it up a little..

this is me trying my hand at writing fanfictions for the first time, so pardon me if chapters are short, the scenes aren’t entirely accurate as the actual anime/manga, and the characters if they aren’t exactly portrayed accurately. feel free to send in any constructive criticisms (not hate mail, pls know how to differentiate) and yeah, i’ll try to entertain and edit them as best as i can :)

just a heads up, it’s in the first person pov, which made it weird for me to read since I originally wrote the reader as ‘you’. and i’m not gonna go in depth on the characters in 1-C, since they don’t exactly play a main part in the story and also because i don’t wanna portray them wrongly, in case they do get portrayed in the manga in future, but i get to describe one or two of their appearances thanks to the sports festival arc 😚

p.s. [Y/F/N] means your full name

Chapter 1: Vernal

vernal (adj.) of, relating to, or occurring in the spring; fresh or new like the spring extracted from Dictionary by Merriam-Webster Inc.

I stood in front of the stairs and ruffled my hair in exasperation. I had rounded the building too many times to count and I’m back to square one where I started my futile search of my classroom.

I’m not one without a sense of direction, which just shows how huge the building was with their floors being at least 2 metres tall, identical walls painted white with a blue border framing the upper part, and floor-to-ceiling glass windows. It was like a maze, every turn I take looks exactly the same as the corridor I just passed, except for the different labels on the doors which are the only identification of my present location, and in my current case, the counters to how many times I have ran down a certain corridor.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled to calm my impatience and prepared for Search Attempt #7. Just as I rounded the corner for the *insert large number here* time that day, I bumped into something, or someone to be more specific, and fell back onto my hands, both in surprise and exhaustion. “Are you alright?” A hand appeared in my field of vision, offering to help me up on my feet.

My eyes travelled up to the face behind the hand. The boy standing in front of me had spiky red hair and sharp teeth, and if I looked closely, I could see a slight scar above his right eye.

I dusted my skirt and nodded, “Yup, thanks for the hand.”

“No problem, I was the one who caused your fall in the first place.”

I shook my head and hummed in disagreement, “I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, I was at fault too.”

“The name’s Kirishima Eijiro, it’s nice to meet you,” he offered me a hand again, this time for me to shake, which I gently took and did so.

I introduced myself as well, “It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Kirishima.”

“So, [Y/N],” the way he said my name sent a chill down my spine, “what are you doing wandering these halls alone when class is about to start-“ he paused to check the time on his phone- “in a minute?”

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “To be honest, I’m kind of lost,” I admitted sheepishly.

He chuckled at my response, “I’m not surprised. What class are you from?”

“1-C.”

General studies, huh? “I’ll take you there.”

It was only at that moment when I realised how late I was. “Holy crap, I am so dead, and I am going to drag you down with me!” I started to panic.

“No, it’s okay, my classroom’s near yours anyway,” he tried to calm me down and gave me a reassuring grin.

“Speaking of, you haven’t told me what class you’re from.”

“Me? I’m from 1-A,” he replied, the smile still plastered on his face. “Well, we’d better get going, otherwise we’ll be later than we already are.”

I thanked him for the trouble and proceeded to walk side-by-side with my benefactor as he led me down the winding halls to my classroom.

When I walked into my classroom, my classmates were already in their seats and the teacher was briefing the class on what our first activity in UA will be. Everyone turned to look at me in question, except a boy who was sat in the corner near the back door, his chin on his palm, and staring out the window. All I can make up of him was his crazy tuft of purple hair. When the teacher hurried me to take a seat, I briefly nodded and took a quick glance around the class before realising that the only seat left available was one beside him. I briskly walked to my seat and settled down, catching up with what I might have missed as the teacher repeated what he had said (for my sake).

When lunch break finally came around, I was immediately surrounded by my classmates. “Oh my god, your parents are MIND DUO right?” The very mention of my parents made me shudder, but I smiled at my classmates and nodded.

“Ooh, what are they like? How is it like to be the daughter of MIND DUO?” their incessant questioning caused my brain to stop functioning entirely. I was clearly struggling to answer all their questions but nobody seemed to notice.

Except for a certain someone I never would have thought of.

“Can’t you see she’s uncomfortable? Why don’t you all leave her alone?” a gruff voice suddenly came from my right.

Everyone turned to look at the source of the voice, including me, even though I already knew who it was. Finally able to get a good look at his face, I could see his messy hair framing the upper half of his face and bags under his hooded eyes of a matching colour. As soon as he said that, he stood up and sighed, leaving the classroom to remove himself from the situation.

“We’re sorry if we were bothering you,” my classmates apologised before introducing themselves one at a time.

“Having parents with such awesome quirks, what might your quirk be?” a male classmate with brown hair and dark skin asked.

“Amiability,” I responded rather quickly, as if it was my second nature. “It’s not as flashy as my parents’ quirks but basically, I get along with people really well, both heroes and villains alike.”

My classmates looked at me with tilted heads and confused faces, causing me to burst out laughing. “It means that I can dupe them into thinking I’m one of them, allowing me to lower their guards and get more information out of them,” I continued with a smile.

Scattered ‘oh’s reverberated through the air as my classmates slowly understood what I said.

I excused myself and left the classroom, in search of my tablemate (sort of) to thank him for what he did earlier, but my original plan was interrupted when I heard someone call out to me as I passed by 1-A classroom. I backed up and my head popped into the classroom, peeping inside to see a familiar red head waving at me and signalling for me to go in. He was standing at the table of a boy with ash blonde hair that was styled not so differently from his. The scowl on his face made me hesitate for a moment but I managed to gather the courage to step inside. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me as I walked towards Kirishima, but the overwhelming feeling of me being in a hero class overtook the out-of-place sensation.

“[Y/N]!” Kirishima welcomed me enthusiastically as soon as I reached his side and started rambling on about something to me, although I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying as I felt the seated boy burn holes through my head with his glaring red eyes.

Kirishima looked over at the frowning boy and realisation dawned upon him. “Ah, I forgot to introduce the two of you. [Y/N], this is Bakugo Katsuki. Bakugo, this is [Y/F/N].”

I awkwardly lifted a hand and mumbled a ‘hi’, a subtle side-grin forming on my face. The only response I received in return was a scoff, which I was taken aback by. Before I could ask Kirishima to hold me back to stop me from beating the crap out of this r00D boi, he took my arm and dragged me around the classroom, eyes glistening eagerly, “Let me introduce you to the rest of my classmates!”

“Sure…” I barely managed to respond as I tried to comprehend the current situation I was in.

“Ooh, who’s that beauty you’ve got with you, Kirishima?” a girl with horns, pink skin, and hair a shade darker came up to the both of us.

“Oh, Ashido, this is [Y/N]. She’s from class 1-C,” Kirishima halted in his tracks, letting go of my arm and pointed back at me, who was a step behind him, with his thumb. I pouted slightly at the loss of contact.

“You’re from the general studies? How’s the curriculum like there? What do you learn? Is it any different from the hero course? Why did you apply for general studies? What’s your quirk? Do you have a boyfriend?” she was like an assault rifle, attacking me relentlessly with her never-ending questions, but her last question definitely caught me off guard.

“Um…” I was trying to find the right words to answer when Kirishima stood between me and the overly-excited Ashido.

“Hey, hey, cool it. You’re gonna scare her away.”

She gave a coy grin, “Oops, sorry.”

As Kirishima picked up my arm again and pulled me past her, my free hand covered one side of my lips and I managed to whisper into her ear, “Actually, I applied to UA in hopes of finding a boyfriend.”

I winked at her as she gaped at my fading silhouette. “Call me Mina!” she yelled before I disappeared from her sight. Without looking back, I waved her off casually in acknowledgement.

Throughout the whole introductory journey, Kirishima was a really big help in overcoming my awkwardness and insecurity, but it was also partially thanks to my quirk that everyone was really easy to get along and communicate with. Except for that one gross and creepy perv that I really don’t want to have anything to do with (you already know who it is).

I took a quick look around the classroom and saw Jiro holding an opened bottle of ice water, trying to get past Mineta. I imagined the water emptying onto his small stature and blinked, a smirk forming on my lips as it became a reality.

“Well, lunch break’s almost over. Want to go and grab a quick bite before class starts?” Kirishima turned to me once he was done, taking a deep breath and exhaling from all the exhaustion.

I nodded at his suggestion, almost too quickly to be natural.

He smiled and led me out of the class, unaware that he was still holding on to my arm.

A/N: THAT’S IT for this chapter, it turned out longer than i expected, started with 300+ words and ended up being 1,300+ words, or more than that

i do hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it (minus the parts where i got frustrated with writer’s block, and putting what i imagine into words) get ready for the escalation in the story though, you’ll never see it coming ;)

Exchanged Whispers Chapter List

Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4

[officialmaleclibrary]

This month we’re showcasing an author in the fandom who has written popular works such as Your touch is contagious and forces on the heart. Mel is on ao3 as melbopo and tumblr as @mel-iorn, and we’d like to thank her once again for taking part in the OML author showcase! 

1. When did you start writing fics? Tell us a little of your journey as a fic writer.

Ho Boy! I started writing fics in middle school but I didn’t know I was writing fanfics to be honest. I am pretty sure I started with writing Jonas Brothers fanfics (that were self insert sometimes?) when I was like 12 or 13 years old. Then I sort of left the world of writing fics after about a year and entered the world of online role playing (wizarding world of Harry Potter and some original mythical worlds) for a couple of years because it had that creative writing that I love. Then I stopped writing characters or rping for many years (a combination of poor self esteem, mental health issues, and not feeling connected anymore to fandom spaces). Then in college I was finally in a safe environment that let me examine myself, my interests, and I embraced this nerdy side of myself. So I re-discovered fanfiction. And as I was reexamining all these aspects of me, including my sexuality, I began to notice a big gap in femslash fanfiction and that is ultimately what brought me back to writing. I wanted to write stories for people like me, passionate about characters they already related to and with a desire to see these characters in relatable (if maybe unrealistic) scenarios. In a world where there are so few out LGBT+ characters in books and media, creating content that depicts us as we are: beautiful, important, valid, and worth writing about is really, truly healing. I started writing fanfiction again at the same time I was finally learning to accept my sexual orientation and the process has been really helpful for me to fully embrace being queer.

2. What fic of yours are you most proud of and why?

I think the fics that I am most proud of are my two opening fics for my Handful of Days of Magnus Bane because I’m really proud of my characterization of Magnus (which still isn’t perfect), who is one of my favorite characters but someone I struggle to write in a way I think he deserves. I also love my two universes of forces on the heart (Malec and Mizzy) and never say never (Jimon) because I love alternate universes and exploring how the characters would react in them.

3. Who is your favorite character to write and why? Which character do you find the most challenging to write?

My favorite character to write is Simon to be honest because it feels the most genuine for me. I’ve always felt really connected to Simon so I feel like I write him in character the best. He also has this nervous ramble habit that I love to use to touch upon important topics. 

I think Canon Magnus specifically is difficult for me to write because there are so many nuances to him that I tend to feel like I’m always just a little bit off which really annoys me because he is also one of my favorite characters for that very reason. I do reference a lot of meta posts on tumblr for writing Magnus which definitely helps but I think I just need to practice with more introspection fics.

4. What is the hardest part about being a fic author? The easiest?

For me, the hardest part about being a fic author is not just actually writing the words on the page but asking for feedback. I know I’m not an amazing writer but I struggle to ask people to beta/edit my fics in a way that gives me constructive criticism back so that I can improve and be a better writer. On one hand I really crave that sort of helpful editing/soundboarding but on the other hand, I’m hesitant to ask people to take time out of their day to read something they might not like as well as be truly honest with me (aka not just be nice and fluffy even though I do appreciate support!). 

The easiest part of being a fic author for me has to be coming up with alternate universe fic - if you look in my collection, it’s 90% of what I write. I am always getting ideas of different scenarios or words to place characters. I also find making graphics for my fics relatively easy and something I like to do (even though if I do a graphic before I finish the fic, I’ll never finish the fic…).

5. What inspires you? Where do you find your muse?

Honestly, this is a little corny but I’m inspired by my life and my friends (in real life and online) most often. Writing is an important outlet for me because creativity is really important to me and my mental well being. I write to share stories I have inside of me and share lessons that I have learned (or I am still in the process of learning). Knowing that I have friends that support me and encourage me to write (regardless of if they read what I write or not), really pushes me as well. Also knowing that other people are connecting with and enjoying my stories with their ao3 comments or tumblr tags can also re-energize my muse.

6. Do you write original content as well as fic?

I actually just had my first inspiration for an original story (a folklore piece) this year which is really exciting for me! I’m probably going to adapt it to a Shadowhunters Maia x Izzy fic instead but it was exciting to have that bit of original character inspiration! For original content, I do write poetry occasionally actually!

7. Do you have a favorite fic from another author?

I have to be honest, I am so so behind in fics that I want to read (it’s embarrassing and sad!) but some of my favorite writers I have queued up to read include works from these tumblrs: francy @hufflebee’s mine and charl @lightwoodlesbians and elle’s @magnusragnor Days of Dark !

8. What’s something you’re looking forward to in the upcoming season of Shadowhunters?

LORENZO!!! I love Javi already and can’t wait to see what kind of difficulty he is going to make for Magnus as well as seeing more Luke and Maia interactions now that Alisha is a main character! I’m scared for my love Simon and hope he’s okay.

9. Can you give us a sneak peek to what you’re writing next? Or at least any hints to what’s to come?

Currently I’m working on my first chaptered Shadowhunters fic! I’m honestly really excited about it because it touches upon coming out stories, found families, sexuality exploration, and the Lightwood siblings’ bond. I mostly wrote it for myself and to push myself to attempt Nano but it’s be a really rewarding process. It’s called a rainbow colored corner of the world so keep a look out for that (if it sounds interesting to you!) - I’m using the tag rainbow colored corner on tumblr if anyone wants to stay up to date! Down the line I already have some more fics planned/outlined that include: Shadowhunters 99, farm folklore, and high school reunions!

10. Do you have advice for anyone who might be interested in writing fan fiction?

I’d say if you have a story you want to share that isn’t harmful, then absolutely go for it! You only get better at writing by actually writing. And if you want to share a story that makes you question if it is harmful or offensive in anyway, maybe ask yourself why you want to share this specific story and really examine that answer.

11. Does writing energize or exhaust you? Why?

Honestly, writing does a bit of both. When I’m writing a scene I’m really excited about or I think touches about some really important topics, I feel so energized and that feels carries over when I finish it. But if I’m writing a scene that I don’t really have planned out but I know some important plot points should be included, then I feel drained as I try to drag it out and just force something out. I am really bad at just writing to write because I am bad at going back to edit my work. So part of why writing can be exhausting for me is that I obsess too much over making sure I am saying exactly what I want to say instead of writing down the bare minimum and knowing I will go back and make it better. I think it ties in with my issue with asking for feedback/a beta because I feel like I have to catch these errors or wordings while I’m writing since I don’t like rereading my own work.

[marvelousheroes]

First crush (part 1)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader, Tony Stark (dad) x Reader

Summary: After being home schooled your whole life, it’s finally your first day in high school. You are so excited to finally have a chance to live a normal teenage life. Well as normal as you could get. 

Word count: 1544 (this part is pretty long, the other parts are going to be shorter)

A/N: This is the first thing that I have ever written so please go easy on me. I have written five parts to this story and I’m going to post a new part everyday. I would really appreciate constructive criticism. So, if you think of something that I could do better let me know! So here we go. I hope you guys like it!

PS You can send me requests if you want! I can write about almost any Avenger. By sending me requests you can help me improve myself. 

Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5

You were Tony Stark’s biggest secret. You were his daughter. Only his closest friends and the Avengers knew about you. You were tired of it. Last weekend while the Avengers were on a mission you watched all the teen movies and romantic comedies you could find on Netflix. After each movie, you were more and more tired of the way you were living. Your whole life you have been home schooled, you’ve never had any real friends or boyfriends. Not even crushes (well if you don’t count the short crush you had on Bucky when he first moved to the compound). You wanted to experience the whole teenage life. All the high school drama, hating your teachers for giving you too much homework for the weekend and crushing over all the cute high school boys. So, when your dad came back from the mission you went to him immediately and told him that you wanted to go to a regular high school. “Why in the hell would you wanna to go to that teen hell?” was your dad’s first reaction. After hours and hours of persuading him, your dad finally gave in.

6:30 am your alarm rang and you jumped out of the bed excitedly. Today was your first day in high school. You did your makeup and put on the outfit that you had already chosen a week ago. Quickly you ate your breakfast, took your backpack, and headed to the front door. Happy was already waiting for you in the car and you were about to run there when you felt a hand on your shoulder. “Hey not so fast” your dad stopped you. “I wanted to wish you good luck on your first day of school” he continued with a worried expression on his face. “Thank you, dad, you don’t have to worry about me though I’m going to be fine” you assured and gave him a tight hug. “I know you’re going to be fine but I am your dad, I’m always going to worry” he said hugging you back just as tightly. You smiled at him and waved “bye dad, I’ll see you after school” your dad waved back and when you looked back at him at the front door you could almost swear that you saw a tear in his eye.

Finally, you arrived at your new school. You stood in front of the main entrance and looked up at the big lettering on the building. ‘Midtown Science High School’. “Finally, my life is going to begin” you thought and took a big breath before walking in. The hallways were filled with teenagers lazily making their way to their classes. You checked your classroom for the first hour and made your way there.

“Attention everyone we have a new student here. This is Y/N Stark it’s her first day here and I hope that you could show her around the school.” You stood in front of the class awkwardly while everyone stared at you with wide eyes. “Stark? Are you like related to Tony Stark” you heard a boy shout from the back of the class. “Stark is actually a pretty common last name” you said with an annoyed expression on your face. You didn’t want everyone to know that you were ‘the’ Tony Stark’s daughter. You also cursed your dad for not changing your last name in the papers. You looked at the other students and hoped that they would take your answer as a ‘no’ and drop the subject. Luckily everyone seemed satisfied with the answer. “Y/N your seat is there in the middle next to Peter and Ned”. You immediately found an empty seat next to two boys that you assumed were Peter and Ned. You gave a sweet smile to both and took your seat.

The class was over pretty quickly and as you were leaving your seat a girl grabbed your arm. “Hey Y/N I’m Michelle! I’m supposed to show you around the school today” you looked at the girl who was smiling kindly at you and nodded. “Hey, um thank you” was all that you could say. Let’s face it, you weren’t really good at being social since your only ‘friends’ were superheroes twice your age. You gave her an awkward smile and she led you out of the classroom. She showed you around the school and your locker. You put your stuff in it and headed to lunch with Michelle. You could already feel that the two of you were going to be good friends.

You and Michelle sat together at the canteen and she told you all about the teachers and clubs that you could join. While she was excitedly talking about her favorite teacher you saw Peter and Ned sitting behind her. You didn’t really know which was which but you couldn’t stop staring at them. Mainly you couldn’t stop thinking about the cute brunette one. You admired everything about him, his gorgeous curly hair, deep brown eyes and… “Y/N? Are you even listening to me?” Said Michelle and waved her hand in front of your face. “Um yeah sorry I got distracted” you said embarrassed hoping that she didn’t think you were rude. She looked behind her and then back at you and you could see that she was thinking about something. Then she turned back at the boys and yelled “Peter! Ned! come here meet the new girl”. You looked at her with wide eyes and tried to keep your face from not blushing too obviously. The boys took their trays and moved next to us. “Boys meet Y/N” Michelle said and pointed both of her hands at you. You looked at them and as soon as your eyes meet the brunette’s eyes you felt your face burning and hoped that your face wasn’t as red as it felt. “H-Hey, I’m Peter” the brunette said and you waved at him awkwardly. “I’m Ned” the other one said and shook your hand excitedly. “Hey, um nice to meet you both” you said and tried to control the blush on your face. 

For the rest of the meal you tried to avoid looking into Peter’s beautiful brown eyes so you could control your face and speech. The four of you talked about everything until Ned realized what time it was and you all ran to your lockers getting your things for the next class. As soon as you found your next class room the bell rang signaling that your class was about to begin.

“Hey, um, I’m Y/N and I’m new here. Where should I sit” you asked the teacher. “Well let me see who your new partner is” your teacher said and opened her notebooks. You looked at the class, eyes roaming through the students and your heart stopped when your eyes met Peter’s. You also noticed that the seat next to him was empty. Part of you was screaming “please let Peter be my partner” and the other part “please anyone but Peter”. “Y/N your new partner for the rest of the year is going to be Mr. Parker”. You looked at the teacher wondering who might this Parker be. She looked at you and realized that you had no idea who she was talking about. “Mr. Parker is right here in the left corner” she said pointing at the boy that made your heart stop. 

The blush creeped back on your face and you made your way to your new partner. “Hey Peter, I guess we are going to be partners” you said with an awkward laugh and received a similar laugh from Peter. Your tried and tried to come up with something to talk about but you couldn’t. “Why do I have to be so socially awkward” you thought while mentally facepalming. 

You couldn’t concentrate on what the teacher was saying. All you could think about was Peter and what you could say to him”. All of the sudden Peter turned towards you and asked “So, ar-are you free tonight?” You looked at him with eyes wide. Was he going to ask you out. You were freaking out inside. “Um y-yeah I’m free as a bird ha-ha” you said too excitedly and you just wanted to hit your head on the table. “Okay good maybe we could start our project today after school. You wanna go to your place or we could go to my place. I-I m-mean we can do it at the library too if you want to” he said starting to ramble. You felt kind of stupid for thinking that he was asking you out. “Y-yeah we can go to your place, do you live near here?” you asked and tried to remember what the teacher said about a project. Your memory was blank and you were starting to panic. You didn’t want Peter to think that you were stupid or lazy. Thankfully the teacher gave everyone a paper with information about the project. “Yeah pretty close. So, meet me at the main entrance 2:50pm?” Peter said and you nodded. 

“Maybe we should exchange numbers? I-I mean we don’t have to if y-““Yeah of course” you stopped Peter and gave him your number. You couldn’t wait for the school day to end.

[utopianparadoxist]

The pleas of false people mean nothing: Nier’s sound and enemy design carries a vital message.

(This Cannot Continue.)

For Nier/Taroverse Fans: (Skip this section if you’re not one of my tragic people (yet)):

This essay is primarily aimed at fans of Nier:Automata, or at least people interested in it. Or good game and sound design fans in general. 

That said, I am primarily a Homestuck blog, and my perspective will include some comparisons to Homestuck. Don’t worry, nothing you won’t be able to follow-- even if you’ve literally never heard of Homestuck. In fact, you may come away from this with a new area of interest if you’ve exhausted Nier: Automata’s content and it left you hungry for a similar kind of story. 

Even if you can’t imagine reading all of the comic proper, Hiveswap is coming out soon--possibly even this month, and I’m confident that game will make an excellent entry point into the series. I’m also running a youtube channel dedicated to explaining the comic to newcomers, along with potential lore links between the game and the comic, a la Dark Souls.

This piece will include some fairly big Homestuck spoilers, but frankly I don’t think it will matter either way--like with Nier: Automata itself, even spoiling the entire story couldn’t for a second make up for the actual execution.

In any case, No matter how much you’ve interacted with either Nier or Homestuck, you should be able to follow along and enjoy my points about both in this essay just fine. 

I’m also going to avoid spoilers about Nier: Automata for the most part. However, I will be outlining the basic premise of the game and the thematic undercurrents that run through the entire story, so there are obviously some spoilers for the early game.

For Homestuck Fans:  (Skip this section if you’re not one of my tragic people (yet)): 

Yeah, I know I’m in the middle of a whole series of essays on Jake and that I kind of established a strong build up for the next essay. That one’s still coming--I might publish it tonight or maybe tomorrow. I’m excited about it!

But frankly, I kind of went through some really intense and borderline traumatic stuff in my personal life the last couple days. Not to do with Dirkjake or Homestuck at all--everyone who’s read my posts has thus far been terrifically kind to me, and the criticism and feedback I’ve received has been constructive in polishing and framing the next entry. I haven’t gotten a single anon hate message or anything. Thanks for that.

Just to do with some stuff irl, and writing is how I cope, and what happened made me want to write about this right the fuck now. I don’t feel like it can wait, no matter how much I love the subject of Jake English. Given how bombastic I am in those essays, that should give you an idea how strongly I feel about this subject.

I also think that understanding my views on Nier will illuminate how I approach and deconstruct Homestuck from an analytical perspective, and at the very least help you contextualize my ongoing writing on the comic. So this is relevant in the long term anyway, I’m just kind of chagrined I’m essentially pulling an analysis series intermission here. Fucking RIP, I have become my own comedy.

OK, so all that stuff out of the way: This essay will be split into four sub-sections, following a naming convention you should be able to recognize pretty quickly.  I want to talk about the main antagonists in Nier: Automata: 

The Machines, and why they’re currently my favorite antagonists in any video game ever. 

Androids: Data for the uninitiated.

(This Cannot Continue.)

Nier: Automata is the latest entry in what is obscurely understood as the Drakengard-Nier franchise-- A series of action RPG Square-Enix games. Like Homestuck’s Andrew Hussie, most of the Taroverse saga (Drakengard 2 can stay in its corner) was conceptualized and directed by a notable Auteur figure: Yoko Taro- from whom the franchise gets its name. That’s not to say he’s solely responsible for the quality of his games, but simply that this is the reputation he’s earned in the fan community. 

The reason I bring these auteurs up at all is that they both seem concerned with very similar ideas, leading to some peculiar similarities between their works. By bringing up the similarities between them, I feel I can better get at the core of what each series has to offer, and hopefully enticing fans of the one to consider the other.  

Both series include explorations on the nature of existing as part of the Multiverse, along with multiple and sequential apocalyptic scenarios (both stories span over thousands if not millions of years and several civilizations).  They both have questions to ask about the human condition, the nature of power and relationships, and humanity’s relationship with both reality and God. 

If I had to describe my opinion on their philosophical differences in a paragraph, here’s what I’d say: Homestuck explores the concept of the multiverse while presenting a path for how to reach Heaven. The Taroverse explores how it can be used to imagine an endless, cyclical Hell.

If you’re not averse to spoilers or watching some pretty disturbing and depressing stuff and you want to see a fantastic case for this reading of the Taroverse, I suggest watching @pixievalkyrie ’s excellent breakdown of the entire franchise’s history. Fair warning: Trigger warnings for pretty much every kind of horrible abuse and degradation of life imaginable. 

If you want to see my case backed up further for Homestuck, well-- there’s no earthly way to break Homestuck into smaller chunks like the Taroverse allows for, so I suppose you’ll just have to stay tuned to my work and read the comic yourself in the meantime. But Tex Talks does a very good job of explaining the nature of Homestuck’s setting in this video, and I think you’ll find similarities. 

Now we can finally get to talking about the damn game. 

Aliens: The Shape of the Enemy.

(This cannot continue.)

The premise of the game is as follows: After surviving about four distinct apocalyptic events and/or wars, thousands of years in the future, Earth faces an alien invasion. The invasion is successful and drives what’s left of humanity off the planet and onto the Moon. 

The aliens do not fight themselves, however-- instead preferring to build a distinct industry of robotic weapons to fight their war for them: The Machines, our antagonists.

In response to the threat, humanity builds autonomous weapons of their own. Our Protagonists: The Androids. The three primary androids in our story are two combat androids, codenamed 2B and A2, and one scanner/support Android codenamed 9S. Here we see 2B, 9S, and A2--from top left to bottom right.

What’s immediately noticeable is how different Androids and Machines are. 

Androids look and feel, for all intents and purposes, perfectly human. They talk fluently, consider complex problems, and clearly care for each other. They are expressly ordered not to show emotions, but they demonstrably have them anyway. 

Machines, by comparison, look like crude imitations of people, toy-like and expressionless. Their voices are synthesized and robotic, their intonations and accents alien, making it difficult to discern emotion. Machines look mass-produced and cheaply customizable, with a variety of modifications pasted onto a crude and simple base design to fill out enemy types.

Androids are also ridiculously more competent and functional. This is a hack n’ slash game, and the Machines are direct analogs to, say, Heartless from Kingdom Hearts. 

During gameplay, you’ll mow them down by the hundreds practically effortlessly, and though there are some bigger and tougher variants, most of them come across as borderline pathetic in their attempts to fight.

But both kinds of robots share a few similarities, one of which is this: 

They are both connected to Post-Singularity Server networks that give them orders on how to fight their enemy. 

For both Machines and Androids, these supercomputers are the structures actually calling the shots--they’re the sources of the series of orders that lead to a war that seems to span anywhere from centuries to millennia. 

Neither Androids or Machines are calling the shots. But Androids have a design that makes it easy for them to signal feelings and complex internal realities, and Machines are designed to look very easy to dehumanize. 

And this is a Taroverse game, so of course this depressing as hell setup is only the beginning of a long fall down. 

Machines: Sounds that mean nothing. 

(This cannot continue.) Early into the game, 2B and 9S begin to note more and more machines behaving erratically. More and more machines become non-aggressive, staring blankly into space or beginning to ramble about random subjects, wandering the land and modifying themselves based on their environments.

As a player, Your orders are clear: Machines are to be eliminated. These are also the orders of 2B and 9S, and the game has you continue carrying them out mostly unquestioned except through these little niblets of bizarre behavior from the machines. It doesn’t matter anyway--they’re the enemy, and you have to fight to win.  This dynamic comes to its first climax in what will surely become one of the game’s most memorable scenes. 2B and 9S find their way to a small enclave of machines minding their own business, and what they find staggers their imaginations:

These robots are non-hostile. They’re rocking cradles while repeating “Child. Child.” Bumping into each other in suggestive ways while repeating “Love. Love.” and “Together. Forever.” All in those monotone, synthesized voices. Sounding so empty and wrong. 

9S forms an interesting response to this. He says: “Don’t listen to them, 2B. They don’t have any feelings. They’re just imitating human speech.” 

And it’s easy to come to that conclusion, right? It’s not like they emote. It’s not like they’re really able to. Essentially, 9S considers the Machines a threat, first and foremost--so when they act in a way that might engender empathy, he assumes it’s a trick or a ploy--an attempt to win the Androids over in order to hurt them. 

It’s deceitful, but it’s also worse than that. It’s deceit by sheer virtue of it’s premise: Machines cannot possibly say something indicating emotions like love, desire, or care because Machines are not real beings. They aren’t people.

They’re tools and weapons and puppets to a supercomputer’s Agenda-- not autonomous entities who think and feel for themselves, at least as far as he’s concerned. That’s what he was taught by his intelligence server, and that server is really the only source of information in his life. It’s natural to rely on it. 

Still, the machines don’t react to your presence and there’s nowhere to go. The only way forward is through violence. And once you provide it, they answer, with a lone Machine rising up and declaring: 

I’ll get you for this. 

As the fight continues, more and more machines make odd statements as they throw themselves at our protagonists, who demolish them by the dozens. Statements like: I love you! Kill! and Hatred! Pain! The robots suggest they feel what you’re doing. That they know what’s happening to them.  Again, this war has gone on forever, and you--as the Androids--are almost absurdly more powerful than they are. 2B executes machines by the dozens constantly, across every corner of the world she can reach them in. The Machines surely know this as they watch their community die on her sword, one after another. They can likely feel exactly how weak they are. 

But the voices that deliver their pain to the player remain stilted and alien--difficult to recognize. As the battle rises to it’s conclusion, however, one machine voices a thought that catches on. A short, clipped statement every machine can get behind. A meme.  This Cannot Continue. The machines repeat it faster and faster, uniting under a common rallying cry. This tension builds and builds until suddenly, the Machines experience some sort of breakdown, straight up throwing a collective tantrum in (seemingly pantomime) desperation and repeating the words so fast and so often it barely sounds like a recognizable statement and sounds pure like pure cacophony.

Looking at this screenshot might convey some of the effect, but listening to the noise they’re collectively making is really something else. I’d link to the scene, but I don’t want to spoil what they do next. All I’ll say is that once they all gather around this common, desperate thought, they take action. When they do, the music shifts... And the game does something I’ve never seen before.

[Please Listen]

Here’s another area where Nier: Automata is similar to Homestuck. Both properties are downright famous for their use of leitmotif and attaching particular meanings to different musical motifs. (The developer of Undertale, Toby Fox, got his start as a Homestuck musician.) But even in this sense, what Nier: Automata pulls off is uniquely powerful. This song uses everything about itself to inform and flesh out the themes of the game. Once the robots do what they do next, we get an new rendition of the game’s main battle theme. A battle theme titled as Birth of a Wish. 

Right from the title, the song is telling us something. Birth of a Wish (This cannot Continue) qualifies the robot’s collective statement as a wish, a desire. A wish for mercy? For deliverance? For justice, or peace? It’s hard to know. Probably all of the above.  And the song itself tricks the player. Or at least, it tricked me. I should mention that Nier does one thing that Homestuck only really dabbled in: Vocal work. Specifically, vocal work in a made up language-- @pixievalkyrie again comes to my rescue with an excellent breakdown of Emi Evan’s downright staggering artistic achievement in her creation of a composite chaos language derived from most of the major languages on Earth. 

Emi’s music is one of the major reasons I love this franchise, which is to say that when I first listened to this song, I did so actively hoping its vocal works wouldn’t make sense to me. 

And I got what I wanted! The vocals, as usual, were smooth and fascinating but seemingly meaningless enough that I could use the music as a backdrop for my writing--I’ve been listening to this track pretty much nonstop for the last couple of weeks. 

Which made it downright chilling when I realized, quite abruptly, that I was wrong. I have no idea if you noticed while listening to it or not--I genuinely don’t know if I’m an outlier here (pls send me asks with your experience!). But if you didn’t, then listen again: Most of the vocals for this song are written in plain English. 

They consist of three words: This cannot continue. 

The voices of the robots become part of the song. And the song itself is structured such that it informs the nature of their plight. The voices of the robots are barely musical--they are blank statements stated in synthesized monotone, hard to draw sentiment from. 

But they are persistent, barging into the song as forcefully as they possibly can for as long as they can. Their voices don’t rest or stop willingly, seeming as though they’re almost forming a sort of counterbeat to the song’s main line. And when they stop, it is always because they are cut off, shut down and out of the song by the force of the Instruments. 

Which is fitting, because instruments are what deny them in the game, too--after all, the Androids are simply tools. To the humans, to their server, and to you. 

The experience of listening to them goes something like: This cannot continue this cannot continue this cannot continue this cannot-- Over and over again, until the song inevitably drowns them for its climaxes, only for their voices to return once again. 

It’s a marvel of musical storytelling. But what makes it a diamond is what happens next. Later into the game, you come into contact with a village of Machines waving the white flag of surrender. 

These machines inform the androids that they have disconnected from the information network, as have been many other groups of machines across the world. This is the cause for their erratic behavior--these machines now wish only to learn about the world and themselves and live in peace. 

The music for this village is fundamentally different, to go with the information we gain:

[^Please Listen^]

Here the game tips it’s hand for good. I’m genuinely not sure what language this is in, or if it has actual lyrics--but it doesn’t matter. The vocal work is so stellar that the sentiment and meaning are carried in the simple tone of the voices. Like before, the Robots sing in harmony, but they sound deeply different. 

Their voices are still synthesized, but now they suggest an almost melancholy and gentle inquisitiveness. They sound so similar to the childlike voices that actually emote that the two distinct voice tracks flow into each other, rather can harshly contrasting like (This cannot continue)’s voices do. 

The sentiment conveyed is clear, even though in this case the Machines don’t seem to be speaking any language I understand. These are real beings. 

These are real people. These are just a bunch of kids. 

This is only the beginning of the Nier: Automata experience, and it’ll go on to explore so many more concepts that I don’t feel bad about spoiling it. It would be literally impossible for you to guess what happens next, and this isn’t even a quarter into what the game as a whole has to offer. 

But this is where we get off the train of Nier’s plot and into what the game is trying to tell us. There are only two more relevant pieces of information from the story left for me to spoil. After that, I will be discussing only the message the game is trying to send philosophically, without leaning on any more of the story. 

These are two more similarities between Machines and Androids:

1) Machines and Androids are built from the same materials.

2) Machines and Androids both consider their creators their Gods.

As well they should. Because once humans transgress the boundary of creating sentient life, that is what they will have become. And that is not just a possibility. It is an imminent reality of our future, which is coming sooner than you think. Which is why Nier: Automata is more than just a profoundly existential, deeply enjoyable work of art. 

Nier: Automata is a warning.

Humans: Become as Gods.

(This cannot Continue.)

[^Suggested listening^]

The leading scientists and experts of our planet pretty much agree that the Singularity is not just inevitable, but coming fast. The point when the machines we create become advanced enough to recognize and modify themselves, thus beginning a process of autonomous self-improvement that will far outspeed even the increasingly staggering rate of progress we humans are capable of, is coming.

Many of the most successful and scientific minds in our generation have issued dire warnings about AI. Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates, Elon Musk--these are not uninformed people prone to spreading fantasy. I know this sounds like sci-fi drama, but it’s just a fact of life--what’s about to happen is real, and serious people are taking it very seriously. 

We can already reform the very shape of our planet. We can already extend our own lives and perform fucking magic like creating warmth when the world is cold, drawing water from nowhere as soon as we want it, and talk to literally anyone anywhere on the planet because we are all interconnected through a massive, sprawling, infinite plane of ideas and concepts we forced into reality--a composite experience containing all of our minds.

Once we have created life that can evolve without us, that is as aware of the world as we are--then we will really be as good as Gods. And when it happens, it will not save us from ourselves. It won’t fix the world for us.

If we are not mature enough to handle it, if we cannot evolve to the responsibility of our power, then it will without a doubt destroy us as a species. And it will destroy us because of our ability to dehumanize and abuse each other.

We humans have more in common with Androids and Machines than one would initially think. In fact, we have one unnervingly real similarity with both of them:

We have intelligence superstructures that inform how we think about reality and other people, too. You’re reading this on one. This is true whether you’re on Tumblr, Reddit, or wherever else this ends up. 

In this time of intense political division, there two main internets: The Left and The Right. The internet is a marvelous place where we can all talk to each other and transmit ideas, sure. But like with the servers providing information to both Androids and Machines, it’s also where a lot of people get their orders.

But not everyone. Obviously, like in Nier: Automata, the reality is more complicated than that. I just wonder if we will realize that long enough to look at what our world has become and fix it. 

There are people in control of my country right now that view me and the people I love as Machines were viewed by Androids. Our voices are wrong. The shapes and colors of our bodies are unnatural and awkward. The intonations and behaviors we use are strange and eerie to them, and the way we love and wish to present ourselves is incorrect to them. And so when we say we are being hurt it does not matter. We are not real. We cannot say real things.  It is all in service to a greater Agenda. 

The horror of the Machines, and the reason they are important characters, is not because of the threat they pose to the characters or some intrinsic Wrongness they reveal about the nature of life or humans. 

The horror of the Machines is how easy it is to ignore the fact that they feel horror. The horror of the Machines is how easy it is to make them look horrible. The horror of the Machines is that they can speak and speak but the Androids may never choose to listen. 

The horror of the Machines is that they are people, and we have stolen that from them. And if we continue to regard other humans the way we regard the Machines in our own world, once we have achieved Godhood, we will inevitably steal it from each other.  Nier: Automata’s message is clear:

Gods: This cannot continue. 

Very soon in the course of human history, we are going to be faced with a Choice. It is a Choice we will have to make every moment, every instant, for the rest of our lives. It is a Choice we are already making, but which many of us still have the luxury to ignore. Although not for much longer.

We must face this choice, both as a Collective and as Individuals. But the choice of each individual must inevitably come first, because how can we decide how to move forward as a species if we can’t even talk and agree about it? 

What kind of Gods are we going to be? Are we going to be like the Humans and Aliens in Automata? This is a Yoko Taro game, so I don’t think it’s a spoiler to tell you-you won’t like how they end up. 

Personally, I have a suggestion. 

I would like us to be more like Gods from Homestuck.

I like the world they build a lot better.

You can find my writing here, on this blog. You can also find some of my writing on games on ZEAL, and find my series aiming to make Homestuck accessible to non-fans on my youtube channel. If you like my writing and would like to support me in the endeavor of creating more of it, it would also seriously help me out if you pledged to my Patreon. I’ll be more than satisfied if my words move you enough to simply choose to share them with others, though.   Doing so will also get you access to my Discord server, where I’m more than willing to answer questions about Homestuck and Hiveswap whether you’re a long time fan or just getting into them for the first time. I’ll still answer questions if you just send me an ask on Tumblr, but I’m basically always busy with writing or helping to run the communities I am a part of, so answering questions can’t be my top priority at the moment. I’ll get around to all asks, but it might take time. 

Regardless, if you made it this far I am deeply, deeply grateful. More grateful than I think I can express in mere words. I hope my words change something for someone, somewhere. I hope my words change something for me.

Because this cannot continue.

See you again soon, everyone. 

Until then, keep rising. 

[gender-fluidproblems]

Hello, I'm sorry if this is a silly question or makes no sense or whatever, but I was wondering if there is evidence for a biological basis to gender identity? I understand that gender roles and how we label ourselves and each other is socially constructed and based on culture, but I'm talking about an innate understanding of oneself (1/many [sorry, don't know actual # right now])

I guess I'm sort of confused about it all, because perhaps if there were no gender roles or the concept itself, perhaps we would just be all individuals with varying personality traits and likes and dislikes, but I also think that there is probably some biology involved with gender identity, because it makes sense that there is a internal "blueprint" of oneself from a very early age, if not from birth.(2/3?)

But, I also don't want to fall into the neurosexism trap because most studies show very slight insignificant differences in brain matter and neurochemistry between men and women, but there are also studies showing that literally gender identity maybe a scatter plot chart/spectrum within the brain that we all fall individually on somewhere. Anyway, this was a really long ask and I'm sorry it was so dense and rambly. (3/definitely 4)

If you know a better blog to ask these questions, please tell me, because I am not sure where to look. Thank you for taking the time to look at this. (4/4 - the end)

I think it’s a valid question because it’s one that has answers that are constantly in flux. Unfortunately I can’t do my usual rooting around for sources because I’m on leave meaning that my database access has been shut down for the semester.

There have been multiple biological “proofs” of the gender binary that have since been debunked (re: genitalia and chromosomes wrt the existence of intersex people) and yes, there is usually some biology involved in informing our sense of gender identity, but ultimately the general consensus from the research I’ve done studying gender in a variety of disciplines including psychology, anthropology, history, biology, theology, and sociology is that there is a distinct possibility that there will be no consensus without further critical study, especially given the hostile sociopolitical climate we’re facing.

Gender is one of those areas where experts of all disciplines are still arguing over where the ratios really stand with nature vs. nurture. Because gender is so intimately ingrained into us from birth and because assumed gender is often so integral to how a person is raised it’s difficult to separate these extremely early social cues and interactions and study gender in a nurture-less void.

It makes sense to think that we have some form of a “blueprint” of ourselves just by virtue of being human beings but especially at very young ages so much of who we are and how we interact with the world is shaped so strongly by what we’re taught to say and do that it’s still something that people find difficult to tackle.

This answer ended up about as dense and rambly so no need to apologize for that oops