#i’m going through so much and i’m only an hour into the audio book

[dondalsy]

derek landy making every character canonically bisexual continues being my favourite slightly homophobic allyship moment

[wh1msic4lwasab1]

𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬: ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚✎

synopsis: Your english professor and you happen to enjoy the same literature, and he invites you to take a look at the libraries premium collection, to give you a little more than the suggested recommendations.

tags: corruption, power dynamic, dubcon, explicit, vulgar, cunnalingus, degredation

a/n: this is a late bday present for my bae @l0rdgeosupport3rr

wrd cnt: 1.7k

“The stranger, a fan of Albert Camus?” Your professor asked with amusement as he passed your seat in the large lecture hall, standing infront of you with his body leaned above yours to take a peak at what page you were on.

“Oh, that’s the best part.” He murmurs, seeing you pull the wired audio pieces out of yours ears.

“Huh? Oh- Yeah I’m really liking it so far, but it’s hard to annotate with a paperback.” You say, chuckling as you meet his eyes above you.

“Yes I can quite see that….Give me a minute.” He says, ignoring about 3 other students incredibly prudent with important questions.

A while passed, and you saw Professor Nanami rummaging through a shelf behind his whiteboard, full of clutter.

He comes back, “How’s this?”

He presents you with a dark red and orange hardcover of the book you were reading.

“Woah..how much was this?” You ask, carefully handing the book as to not somehow ruin it.

“I’ve forgotten since the time I purchased it. You can keep it.”

You almost have to pick up your jaw off the floor, seeping with gratitude, you reply, “Are you sure? Thank you so much Professor!”

You smile, appreciate of his friendliness.

“If you’re interested in more classics, the library has a few new hardcover editions.”

“Really? I’d like to go but I’d have to stay for hours picking the best ones.” You laugh.

“I wouldn’t mind accompanying you, I could offer you some good recommendations? I have to pick up some copies as well this afternoon”.

You agreed, excited and more appreciative of his kind gestures.

Class ends quite quickly. You stay and wait for your professor who walks with you to the library.

You use the time spent walking across campus to talk more about literature, finding lots of equal footing between the two of you.

When you arrive, he opens the doors for you to enter.

It’s quite late out already.

The library was not very populated, but many used it as an area to study.

“So, what are your favorite genres?”

You take a while to think, “Hmmm…I like romance- oh and dystopian fiction! and definitely gothic literature”.

He nods his head, seemingly impressed with your selection.

“I know the perfect place.” He adds, walking you over to a section with some books he’d assume you would be into.

Time goes by fast, and about half an hour later; you both have almost 5 books each ready to check out.

Your professor is quite observant, handing books over to you he thinks will be of interest to you, giving you a short summary of each.

You were quite impressed with his knowledge on so many pieces of literature.

He was an english teacher, but his intelligence was admirable.

As was his….everything else.

You found yourself listening quite closely to him; his lectures, his announcements, the way he spoke to you in such a respectful manner. It made you think about how he’d sound in more- intimate scenarios.

You’d drift off in class thinking about it.

He squats down to pick up a book off the very bottom shelf, putting it back though.

But then, his knuckles brushed against your hip as he pulls a third book from the shelf above, bending his back to set it on the ground, his stack growing taller.

He doesn’t say anything at the contact, secretly watching for any reactions from you.

When you display none, he only gets more bold.

“Excuse me”, he whispers, taking a book directly above your frame; pressing his crotch directly behind you, groaning at the stretch his hand travels to grab the spine.

This time you did have a reaction, something inside you told your body to move slightly back, almost unnoticeable in the way you scooted into him.

You felt the presence of him behind you, casting a shadow infront of you.

“This is a great one. Can’t believe they keep it all the way up here.”

“Catcher in the Rye? I’ve heard a lot of complaints about that one actually.”

“Pfft, the people who complain about this book just don’t know how to read between the lines. It’s an amazingly realistic book, everyone should read it at least once.”

You hear him go on more about the book, simply responding with “Uh huh” and “Mhm”’s but all you can focus on is how hard his cock felt against your ass just a minute ago. How the lighting in the library looks on him, how his rolled up sleeves display the veins that run up his arms and adorn his hands. The glare in his glasses snaps you back to reality, the reflection of your face; practically drooling over your Professor.

It felt terribly wrong, but all you wanted to do was kiss him, feel his hands on your back as he ravished you right here against the bookshelf.

“So?-“ He said.

“What? sorry- I didn’t hear you. “

He smiled, “I asked if you wanted to go ahead and take a seat.”

You nod, laughing off your little slipup.

He leads the way, you almost instinctively hold his hands, stopping yourself just in time so he didn’t notice.

The two of you sit down in between two tall science fiction shelves, secluded and honestly too dark to try and read anything.

He didn’t plan to read.

“So what are your plans here?” He asks, jumping to a completely different topic.

He removes his jacket, throwing it over the armrest of the couch next to him.

“Well- I’m not too-“

You pause, feeling his hand place itself on your knee.

“Go on dear.”

“I’m not too sure yet, but I’m interested in an aeronautic focused field.”

“Oh wow, smart girl.” He says, his hand now slowly rubbing your leg.

“Professor-“

“Kento, just go ahead and call me Kento.” He adds.

His behavior made your skin tighten, your face getting hotter from the contact he was making under the table.

A number of students could see if they just walked by.

“You were saying y/n?”

“Right…I’m just- Professor what are you doing…”

“Didn’t I just tell you to call me Kento?” He asks, his palm now grazing up and down your thigh.

“S-Sorry-“ You say, obviously stiff and embarrassed at what he was doing, incredibly ashamed of how much you wanted him to go higher.

'Don't be sorry, my dear. Just relax.”

His words sent chills down your spine and you couldn't believe what was happening. In the middle of the library, he was touching you in such an intimate way, a very inappropriate way at that.

Your mind raced as you tried to process the situation. You were a good student, always focused on your studies and never one to engage in any sort of scandal. But there was something about your professor that drew you in, something you couldn't resist. And in that moment, you didn't want to resist

As his hand reached all the way up to your your inner thigh, you let out a small gasp, feeling a surge of desire rush through your body.

“we shouldn’t be-“

Without a word, Kento started rubbing your pussy, your leg now draped over his as he felt your warmth.

“I think it’s time you stopped talking, and just listen.”

“But-“

He took your hand into his, and placed it on his own cock, guiding it to rub himself.

The two of you soon stopped talking, just exchanged wildly inappropriate glances.

“Does it feel good when I do this?” He whispers close to your lips, his thumb pressing into the space your clit is, making you grind your hips onto his hand, nodding approval as you palm his cock harder.

His breathe falls on your lips, dangerously close.

In that moment, all of your worries and doubts disappeared as you gave into the fiery passion that burned between you and Kento. His hands roamed over your body, setting every nerve on fire. As you lost yourself in the moment, you couldn't believe that this was happening but you didn't want it to stop, but you had to try before it got too far.

“wait no- someone will find us”.

He grabs your face with his palm, keeping your chin up to direct you to his eyes.

“That’s not what you really want. I think you wait me to keep going. Maybe you want to be found like this…?”

Before you can protest, you feel Kento slide your panties to the side, ignoring your skirt as he just hikes it up to your stomach, taking two fingers to spread your sticky folds.

“Looks like I was right…you’re dripping.” He breathes harshly on your earlobe, hearing your hushed whimpers.

His fingers were so long, so thick and warm.

“Is this what you wanted the whole time? Your professor to touch you?”

When you didn’t reply, he took your jaw in his hands, forcing you to look at him instead of down.

“I asked you something y/n. Or are you too ashamed to answer?”

“I- Please…keep going”.

He chuckles deeply, inserting two full fingers into you, making you gasp and cover your mouth.

“You’re such a slut.” He whispered, pulling his fingers out and gripping both your thighs as he retreats under the table.

Your eyes widen at his vulgarity.

You protest and try to close your legs, groaning when he pulls them apart forcefully and slides your panties off and putting into his back pocket.

“Shhh…don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe, just don’t make too much noise.”

“But professor- no we cant- not here…we have to st-“

He grips your thighs harder, furrowing his brows.

“How many times have I asked you to call me Kento?”

“I’m- sorry sir…“

His fingers start to play with your folds again, taking a better look at the mess you’ve been in this whole time.

“You need to have a little more trust in me. We’ll be fine…Plus, you don’t seem like you want me to stop at all dear. I can feel your clit pulsing against my thumb.”

You froze, you couldn’t argue any longer nor did you have the will to.

Instead, you gripped his hair when he started eating your cunt, grinding your hips towards him and smearing all your juices on his faces.

The sounds he made while slurping you up plus his whimpering where much louder than you, he should take his own advice.

Your body stared shaking, not knowing if it was from your professor absolutely devouring you or the chance of someone catching you, probably both.

Wasn’t he supposed to get copies or something?

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[porcelana-r0ta]

The Curse of Sight, Part 4

[Part 1] [Part 3] [Part 5]

[Ao3 Link] (Available only to Ao3 users)

Summary: When Wes Weston meets Tim Drake-Wayne, the dots start connecting. And those dots form a Bat.

Ever since Wayne Enterprises’s TikTik went live, Wes has been upgraded from go-fer to Rebecca’s unofficial assistant. He mostly helps pin microphones or scribes for her as she dictates scripts. Sometimes he’s a runner to other departments when she’s too impatient to wait for emailed replies. She also gives him “homework” in the form of scrolling through his TikTok FYP and reporting to her on popular trends and audios so she can keep an eye on teenagers’ interests.

The only real thing he’s still doing with his original internship is his morning coffee runs, which Tim Drake will only occasionally join him on. Not always—he is the co-CEO of WE—but enough that Wes starts to relax on his “Red Robin and Batman are going to rip out my spinal cord” anxieties. His two main concerns are now just “What if Jade tries to make me go back to being a go-fer” and “What if Rebecca wants me to be in another TikTok?”

He’s still running interference with the other teenagers from Amity Park over that one. Especially with Tucker, who had only become more insufferable when he got the letter containing Tim’s signature.

“Wes,” he said into the phone when Wes had finally answered the call instead of pressing decline like he’d done six consecutive times beforehand. “Wes, buddy. I—I need to meet with Tim Drake-Wayne. This is a matter of life and death. WayneTech is only releasing one more PDA and then they’re shutting the PDA line down completely in favor of regular tablets. I can’t let that happen. Wes, please!”

“I think it’s too late for that,” Wes had replied. “Like, this is already in motion. Also, Mr. Drake-Wayne and I aren’t really friends.” He conveniently left out the part where they had known each other long enough to probably be considered friends, at least by normal civilian standards. Wes certainly considers Tim one, at least, but he’s not sure how mutual it is. “I’m just an intern who ran into him on a coffee run, and I got his signature. There’s not much more I can do for you.”

Tucker made the sound of a dying lamb, “Wes, please. I’ll do anything.”

Wes paused, tempted to say, Then admit what Danny is.

He bit his tongue and cleared his throat, “Anything?”

“Anything, man. Please!”

“Then perish.” Wes ended the call and ignored Tucker’s resulting onslaught of texts.

But that was a few days ago, and now Tucker only intermittently asks for Wes to convince Tim to save his beloved line of WayneTech PDAs. Wes wants to send a mean text about outdated technology, but he manages to hold back and continue to leave the other on unread.

Maybe it’s still mean to ghost (ha) him like that, but it’s also mean to harass Wes about the PDAs when he’s just a lowly intern. He just gets the fucking coffee.

(Nevermind the whole, you know, the friendship is real thing.)

Soon, getting coffee for the 73rd floor with Tim turns into hanging out with Tim for a few hours after their shifts. It starts slowly, with Wes mentioning off-hand that he’s going to the library, and Tim mentioning that he hasn’t been to the library in a while, so Wes invites him out. And they go to the library, check out some books, and then realize, Oh, hey, it’s a little late. Wanna head to Batburger for some food? And then they go out to eat and take turns reading the first chapter of the books they’ve chosen to each other.

And then Wes is inviting him over to his house, or Tim is inviting him out to eat, or to the movies, or whatever. No invitation to Wayne Manor, not that Wes expects one or even really wants one—a house full of Bats? No, thanks.

And Wes wasn’t kidding about the kidnapping/hostage bait, either: just last week, Dick Grayson had been held hostage in Bludhaven, not as a police officer, but as Brucie Wayne’s beloved first child. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t even Bludhaven’s own hero Nightwing who saved the day, but rather Gotham City’s Batman and Robin.

So, yeah. Not being spotted at the Manor? Tim wearing sunglasses and hoodies whenever they hang out in public? Totally fine by Wes, thank you very much.

Plus, it keeps Tucker from really blowing his phone up.  

“Hey,” starts Tim one day after being invited over to Wes’s house after work. “Do you think you and Rebecca would be willing to work at a Wayne Gala?”

They’re lazing about on the couch in the living room with Criminal Minds playing on the TV before them. They’re both under separate fuzzy throw blankets with a bowl of popcorn taking up residence on the middle cushion between them.

Wes tilts his head, considering, “What gala? And when?” And more importantly, “Will we be getting overtime for it?”

Tim snorts and shoves a fist full of popcorn into his mouth, chews, swallows, then says, “The Pride Gala toward the end of the month. The 26th. And yes, you’ll get time and a half.”

“Ah,” says Wes. He remembers how much more openly supportive of LGBTQ+ rights Bruce Wayne had become when Tim began dating some guy named Bernard Dowd from his school last year. (Not that he hadn't been supportive beforehand.) They’ve been broken up for a while, but he knows the two are still on friendly terms because the tabloids publish photos of them hanging out every once in a while and hypothesize that the flame is rekindling. “I mean, I have literally no other friends in Gotham, so I’m game. I don’t know about Rebecca, though. She probably has a life.”

“Probably?” Tim asks.

He shrugs, “I mean. She makes a lot of memes. I don’t know what your social life is like if you make as many memes as she does.” He shakes his head to himself, then asks, “I’m guessing you want something on TikTok about the Gala?”

“Yeah.” Tim shifts on the couch so he can face Wes more, and Wes turns as well. “Bruce says that some of Gotham’s elite need a reminder that he’s not a fan of their bigotry and that he doesn’t like doing business with idiots.”

Well. That sounds like the Brucie Wayne who loves his children and made a whole public spectacle of babying Dick Grayson after his rescue in Bludhaven last week.

“I’m down if Rebecca is down,” Wes says. “I don’t know about going if she can’t make it, though. I don’t think I’d do well around rich people without a poor person by my side. Eat the rich and all that—no offense.”

Tim snorts at that, “None taken. We can be kinda snobby. I hope I don’t come off too snobby?”

“Well, you haven’t asked me about my favorite place to go skiing yet, so you’re doing pretty good.”

“I haven’t even been skiing,” Tim says.

Wes thinks about how during his cyberstalking of Tim, he’d found several pictures of the Drake parents on their own skiing vacations, all suspiciously missing Tim, even though he’d have been old enough to attend according to the time stamp. His heart clenches and his body goes cold.

He wraps the blanket around him tighter, “What, no way! That’s criminal. That’s, like, the basic necessity of proving wealth. You need to have Mr. Wayne take you some time.”

Tim’s nose wrinkles in disgust, “Just call him Bruce. Hearing ‘Mr. Wayne’ from someone who isn’t a journalist or an employee is weird.”

“Tim. I am an employee.”

His friend’s ears go a smidge red, probably embarrassed to have forgotten so easily, if Wes had to guess, “You hardly count. Besides, I don’t wanna go skiing. I’d probably break all my limbs.”

Ah, right. The classic “I’m too clumsy to be a superhero” defense. The only Waynes who couldn’t use that excuse were Dick Grayson (a literal Flying Grayson) and Damian Wayne, who would probably pop a blood vessel if he was anything less than the perfect heir.

Danny was genuinely clumsy, at least. Even before he dropped all those beakers in science, he was always tripping over literal air.

“Well, you can do some other rich person activity. Like, I dunno, having a pet tiger, or something.”

“Damian would love that. He has a pet cow in a barn on the Wayne property.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“I would never lie.”

“What’s its name?”

“Her name is Bat-Cow.”

….You’re fucking kidding me.

“Like… after Batman?” These people aren’t subtle. Why the fuck is Wes the only person capable of figuring anything out? Why was he cursed like this?

Or is it the other way around? Is everyone else just cursed with obliviousness, and Wes has some kind of immunity?

“Yeah, like Batman. It’s because she has a spot on her forehead that looks like a bat.”

“Of course she does.” Because why not? It’s not like anyone but Wes has eyes and brain cells, after all. Hell, the Waynes might as well dress up as their alter egos for Halloween. It’s not like anyone will fucking notice. Gotham society would probably have a grand ol' laugh about the ridiculousness of Brucie Wayne dressing up as the Bat. Ha, impossible!

“She’s the reason Damian is a vegetarian.”

“Okay, that’s adorable.”

“It’s really not. He’s a Demon Spawn.”

“That’s a rude thing to call your little brother.” Never mind that he’s called his cousin, Kyle, much worse.

“Ew, spoken like an only child.”

“Shut it. Do you guys have any other pets?”

Tim nods, “Yeah. They’re all Damian’s, though. He has a cat named Alfred the Cat, who isn’t to be confused with Alfred Pennyworth, the butler who’s honestly more like our grandpa and Bruce’s dad. Then there’s Titus, a dog. And Dick has a dog named Haley who he sometimes brings to the Manor for ‘playdates’ with Titus, but it’s really so Damian can fawn over her without feeling embarrassed over it.”

“Gross, that’s sickeningly sweet.” Wes chews some popcorn consideringly, “You know… that might be a good TikTok, too.”

“What? Meeting the pets?”

“No. Well, yes.” He thinks back to some of his mother’s rants, and then Rebecca’s own rants. “Not to make it sound like my mom just tells me everything, but she says that the public views Damian as kinda snobby. Or at least stiff. Letting him do some kind of ‘introducing the Wayne Family Pets’ TikTok might help with that. People love pets."

“Yeah, well, Damian hates cameras.” Tim’s voice is more than a little tense, and Wes doesn’t need to be told in words that he’s walking into more dangerous territory.

He shrugs, “Just an idea. If Damian is uninterested, he doesn’t have to. I just figure that using the pets—animals he loves enough to go vegetarian over—to humanize him to the press would be easier than, like, traumatizing him on Good Morning, Gotham or something.”

Wes doesn’t mention how a lot of the press and public’s view of Damian stems from racism thanks to his obviously Middle Eastern blood. He doesn’t think he needs to—Tim and the rest of the Waynes are already well aware.

“He’d traumatize them, really. But I see your point.”

Wes snorts, if only to keep up his façade, “He’s a twelve-year-old boy. What can he do?”

Tim gives an amused smile, an inside joke that he doesn’t know Wes is in on, and says, “Yeah, you're right.”

xxXxx

At work the next day, Rebecca squeals with delight when Wes asks her about going to the Pride Gala for work, and immediately starts drawing up script ideas. Halfway through Script #5, she freezes, and says, “Oh my god, I have nothing to wear to the Gala!”

Wes looks at her in confusion, “What do you mean? We’re basically going as the help. Can’t we just wear something professional?”

She sends him a withering glare, “Ugh, you’re such a teenage boy. This is a Wayne Gala! And even better, it’s the Pride Gala! All the donations go to the Trevor Project. We– we can’t just show up in sweats and a hoodie!”

“That’s… that’s not at all what I was suggesting? I said professional? Does professional mean something different in Gotham?”

Rebecca’s brow is pinched, “Listen. This is a Wayne Gala. That’s a big fuckin’ deal, you non-Gothamite. Even the press dresses up for the Galas.”

“Oh, okay.” Uncertain, Wes pulls out his phone and texts Tim about her concerns.

W: Hey Tim Rebecca says that we can’t wear prof clothes to the gala bc we’ll look too homeless. Is there, like, an actual dress code to follow?

The reply is swift for someone who is a CEO of a whole entire Fortune 500 company.

T: Don’t worry about clothes. WE will provide a fitting and the formal wear for you both to keep. I assume this means Rebecca is down?

W: Yeah. And I’ll let her know.

“Tim says that WE is gonna provide the formal wear,” he tells her while she’s in the middle of a panic attack.

“Are you texting him right now?” Rebecca asks. “Ask him when we need to be fitted. And make sure he knows we won’t be fitted outside of work hours unless we’re getting time and a half.”

Wes rolls his eyes but obligingly relays the message.

T: I am going to talk to Damian about your idea today. If he is receptive, I am thinking that you and Rebecca would clock in like normal on Friday but would accompany me to be fitted, and then go to Wayne Manor to film that “introduction to the Wayne Family Pets” TikTok.

W: Let me run that by Rebecca

He explains the idea they’d discussed yesterday about the pets, and then Tim’s proposal for Friday. Instead of verbally saying anything, Rebecca snatches his phone from him and ignores his indignant yelp, and plays an impressive game of keep-away as she types something with one hand and uses her other hand to bat away his angry attempts to reclaim his property. After a few moments of this struggle in her tiny cubicle, Rebecca lets out an “ah-ha” and hands the phone back to Wes.

He quickly takes in the damage:

W: Hi Mr. Drake-Wayne it’s Rebecca!!! I stole Wes’s phone :) I’m totally down with using company time for this and so is Wes 🙂 you’re way better than my old boss at Taco Hell btw. Also does WE buying our formal wear include buying shoes and accessories?

“This feels exploitative,” Wes says with an uncomfortable twist in his stomach.

“That’s why I took your phone instead of asking you to ask,” she says. “I get to be the bad guy, and you get to be friends with your friend without feeling like a gold-digger. Everyone wins.”

“No. I feel like trash.”

“Sorry.” And to her credit, she does look apologetic. “But I have student loans to pay off, rent, and other bills, and no heels that would go with anything WE will provide. I can’t afford this and I won’t feel bad for asking my rich boss to pay for it all as a work expense.”

On the surface, Wes understands that. He knows that he’s not poor-poor in the way that lots of people are. His mom has a job at Wayne Enterprises, for fuck’s sake, and he likely won’t have to worry about college as long as he chooses someplace sensible. But asking for so much from Tim, from his friend, leaves him feeling hollowed out and filled back up with swamp mud.

His phone lights up with a notification.

T: Hi, Rebecca. And of course! You’ll have to do your own hair and makeup, though. And I’m glad to be better than your old boss :)

Wordlessly, he shows the text to Rebecca, who nods, “Acceptable terms.”

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he says.

He walks away and hides in his mom’s office for the rest of the day.

xxXxx

Tag List:

@theamazingfox @quietlyscared @lumosfeather18581   @blankliferain @amercurio @gin2212 @starscreamlover @hoarder-of-gender @the-ghost-trader @iariinay @ectoplasm024

If you want to be added to the Tag List, just ask in the replies!

[deesseshesca]

PAC : Life update 

 DING ! DING ! DING ! Last stretch before school start again. 

FLASH SALE 

For the next 2 weeks all readings on my ko-fi is 20$, only 

!!!GIVEAWAY!!!

There’s 3 spot open for a free full reading (audio form) 

To participate: You must like, re-blog and comment on this post. 

With much love, Shesca 

Good evening,pretty souls, let’s check out your last run around the block before you go back to being responsible. 

Choose the image that’s speak to you and allow yourself to soak ONLY what’s reasoning with YOUR SITUATION 

Rules and Disclaimer 

I am the type of tarot reader to say as it is. Nothing is sugar coated but everything is sent with good intention. If you are not ready to face some truth, you should vagabond somewhere else. 

TW: DV,Addiction

PILE 1 

What’s going on inside your mind ? 

Star (reverse), Ace swords (Reverse),1122

STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM 

You guys are overwhelmed with everything that’s going on in your life. You need to work towards a happy life. I’m hearing, ‘’ BUT I’M ALREADY DOING IT !’’. B*itch calm down. You are not doing it. You are so used to sadness that when nothing is happening in your life, you choose to fill that void with sad music, gut wrenching books or trauma full movies. Even in times of peace you CHOOSE to feel bad and the fact that you can’t even recognize how mess it is. Just show how deep in the victim mentality you really are. 

STOP MOVING GOALS 

Stop following that unexpected willpower at 3 am. Is probably a manic episode but anyway… I digress, stop thinking you can change your life overnight. You need to go one step at a time. Wake up and schedule what you can do. Not what you want to do. And allow grace to be with you, because even if you fail just know you are actively working towards something great. Then just that on its own is worth a standing ovation. 

What does the heart want ? 

You are dealing with a super bad person, I felt like punching him/her a couple times through my screen. Him/Her cheated on you, broke up with you and expected you to stay faithful. How the heck on this green earth does that F*CKING work ?!

Ace swords, Tower (reverse) 

Open communication 

Your relationship may be facing challenges (alter ego: YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS IN THE GUTTER) and you need to allow yourself to speak up (alter ego: what are you.. a dog ? Why do you have to ask permission to speak). Right now, you don’t speak. You are even scared to voice your emotion because you are scared he/she will flip on you. Which usually ends up withyou  running in the bathroom crying and then him/she yelling like an animal. He/she abuses you verbally. You know, they know, I know you are one fight away from them connecting their fist to your face. Instead of leaving, you are reminiscing about all the time you have spent on this relationship. Babe is time to choose. You OR this relationship (Alter-ego: Girl/Boy that’s no relationship, that’s a toxic mess. They deserve to feel my wra-)

!!!GIVEAWAY!!!

There’s 3 spot open for a free full reading (audio form) 

To participate: You must like, re-blog and comment on this post. 

💌If you want more insight regarding the situation you can always message me for a private reading, especially since they are on sale at the moment. You can comment a purple heart, 

Much love, Shesca 

PILE 2 

Check in: You have big boobs. Way bigger than normal and you love it. Most people in your situation may wish to have a reduction but you love it there. If you are an owner of a ‘’d’’, you may have a big d. That’s it,that’s all. 

What's going on inside your mind ? 

9 cups (reverse), Ace Pentacles (Reverse) 

Not everything that glitter is gold 

There is a contract that’s going to be presented to you. First you do deserve recognition. You've been putting in the work, the hours and you BEEN patient. Now is finally time to reap what you sow but be careful the same way you know your potential. The same way others see it and see big profit. Before you sign your life away in a slave contract that’s going leave you broker than broke, plz read all the little characters on the paper. 

You act like you are better than everyone. Nothing is ever good enough and nobody can seem to please you. You are full of yourself. You are so F*CKING immature 

CUT ! You have a very toxic family and that’s what they think of you. If you were looking for confirmation, here u go 

What does the heart want ? 

King pentacles, Hierophant 

You are in a happy and secure relationship. They are generous, dependable and very protective over you. They don’t care about anyone except you. They've been telling you that your family is your number one enemy. You refuse to take their opinion in. They want to get married, have children and fill out taxes with you and only you. Go ahead Pile 2, send them that pinterest board with all your wedding requirements, they will love it ! I sense that you are as possessive with them as they are with you. Awww, I love some equally possessive couple. Plus, they will do anything to have you and KEEP you. 

!!!GIVEAWAY!!!

There’s 3 spot open for a free full reading (audio form) 

To participate: You must like, re-blog and comment on this post. 

💌Pile 2, tell me all the tea in the comments. What is, your cousin or your own brother ? Who is the hater ? Anyway if you like the reading you can always message me, especially since they are on sale at the moment. 

Much love, Shesca 

PILE 3 

What’s going on inside your mind ?

Ace cups , 3 cups (reverse) 

You might be a functioning addict. 

GO GET THAT PREGNANCY TEST 

Plan B failed. Trust me babe, better now than later. Clench your coins and go check on the 2 bars. 

NO MORE ‘’Get it Sexyy’’ 

You might be trying to run away from  the truth but Pile 3, you need to stop and sober up. You have an alcohol/weed addiction. You are so exhausted. Just to keep up, you were pondering on trying some other drugs. Stop babe. Right now you don’t like the people you are surrounded with but you lost all contact with your family. Making amends with them is your best bet, I know it can be hard. But better you spend time trying to get better than wasting it away unhappy knowing damn well you have too much to offer to the world. 

What does the heart want ?

Ace cup (Reverse), knight wands, 

They STILL and FOREVER want you 

You know you f*ck up. They loved you. Treated you well and just because they question your commitment a little too much to your liking. You went out of your way to show them you did not need them. I feel like you guys were at a party or the club and you kiss someone randomly. Now there is no contact. There is no official break up but there’s no communication going on between y’all. This is prime self-sabotage. You know damn well all they wanted was some communication, just to prove that they matter to you. They feel like you treat them like a simple sneaky link and it ain’t fair. Especially when you know they are the only ones in the corner. You know, they know, I know: they are going nowhere. They are so attracted by your independence and charisma but you keep using your quality against him/she.

 

!!!GIVEAWAY!!!

There’s 3 spot open for a free full reading (audio form) 

To participate: You must like, re-blog and comment on this post. 

💌Is it positive ? Don’t worry pile 3, I know you are going to figure it out. If you need more support you can always message me especially since my reading is on sale at the moment. 

Much love, Shesca 

PILE 4 

You worked very hard to finally enjoy the life you have right now. Going on trip, exclusive pool party and twerking your a*s with your ratchet friends. You always save from pregnancy scared. Damn girl, you are lucky. If you are a man, you know damn well you should not be hitting it raw. But you did it anyway, lucky for you no pregnancy and no disease. 

What’s going on in your mind ? 

10 pentacles, Death (reverse), 3333, 

Keep working hard and playing harder. 

Expansion is on the horizon . I’m talking to the nail artists that love creating crazy drawings in all types of fonts, hair stylists that excel in dying hair, lash tech that are always book and mua that finally got their social media success. Is time to dream big. I'm talking about your own studio, your own lash equipment, your own hair care or even your own 1:1 teaching class. 

Kill the devil 

Don’t let the bad thoughts make you doubt the legitimacy of your success. Babe you did ! YOU ! All on your own. 

What does the heart want ? 

King wands (reverse), 8 pentacles (reverse), ‘’Yes! I cheated’’ 

Y’all are messing with the baby daddy of someone. At the time you did not know and did not care. As of now, you still don’t give a f*ck. Like that’s not your business that he cheated on her with you. All you care about is to have a good much. And he is, so he stays in rotation. If you are a man, you don’t care that she has a boyfriend at home. If she wants to suck your nuts then be it. Is not your fault she’s begging for it. Might as well make her dream come true. 

!!!GIVEAWAY!!!

There’s 3 spot open for a free full reading (audio form) 

To participate: You must like, re-blog and comment on this post. 

💌I support women's rights but more importantly women's wrongs ! Guys, is the head really worth all that fighting with bf, don’t let me hanging all I need is the tea in the comment section. Until then, if you want more shady tea regarding your situation, you can always message me. The readings are on sale at the moment. 

Much love, Shesca 

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Bedtime Stories

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 1, 426

Summary: thanks to this lovely idea from @nell4now I wrote this adorable idea where Dieter reads to his family even when he’s away

Warnings: pregnant reader, all the pregnancy nausea, so much wholesomeness so maybe have some tissues, Stephen King

Check out masterlist here

“‘The operation was called hobbling, Paul, and that is what I’m going to do to you. For my own safety…and yours as well. Believe me, you need to be protected from yourself. Just remember, a little pain and it will be over. Try to hold that thought.’

Terror sharp as a gust of wind filled with razor-blades blew through the dope and Paul’s eyes flew open. She had risen and now drew the bedclothes down, exposing his twisted legs and bare feet.

Seriously honey cakes, you want me to read this?”

You opened your eyes and looked over at your husbands concerned face. Humming an affirmative, you nodded your head.

“Won’t this make you more nauseous?” he asked.

“Your voice is soothing.”

“It’s not your favourite voice though?”

You gave a little smile, “It’s in my top five of sexiest voices.”

“Top five? Wow, I’m honoured.”

“There’s a lot of sexy voices out there,” you rubbed your stomach. “Yours is the Things favourite.”

Dieter put his hand over yours, “Am I your favourite, cupcake?”

“Don’t talk about food or I’ll vomit.”

“So back to the crazy violence?”

“Yes! The Thing wants violence!”

“Aw,” he patted your stomach. “You’re already taking after your mama!”

*****

This tradition of Dieter reading to you started when you got pregnant. Trying various ways to distract yourself from the constant nausea, the only thing that brought comfort was your beloved horror. While watching a film, you’d end up falling asleep to the sounds of mindless teenagers falling victim again and again to the slow-paced serial killer. You’d wake up hours later with a blanket draped over you and a fresh glass of water on the table.

Reading also helped but it was hard to keep your eyes open. Dieter quickly learned that the best way to soothe your battling body was to read to you, his voice providing a gentle hum, the perfect vibration to cancel out the painful buzzing of nausea. It was so comforting to cuddle up with your husband while he read the words of your favourite books.

Sadly, he wasn’t able to read to you every night. He made himself busy so you wouldn’t have to work, and it would leave him with plenty of paternal leave once the baby was born. Technology helped in some ways but not always. Lying in bed with a few good pillows to prop you and your growing bump up, you answered your phone, Dieter showing up on screen.

“Hey honey cakes, sorry I haven’t been able to call later, filming has been hectic and-you’re lying in bed. Have you been sick again?”

“No, it’s just a pain in the arse to move around. Have you tried moving around with a watermelon attached to your stomach?”

“I’d have to check over my filmography.”

You both laughed but you stopped and shifted, letting out an uncomfortable sigh.

“Are you okay honey cakes?”

“Yeah, the Thing is just excited to hear you.”

“Hey cupcakes,” he addressed your stomach. “Have you been missing daddy?”

“I had to find something to stop the summersaults. I ended up using some audiobooks you did.”

“I did some audiobooks?”

“Yeah, I never knew you did the audio for Never Go Down to the Neverwoods. That’s my favourite werewolf trilogy. I liked that the main character Celina was a female werewolf. And it had creative werewolf lore with original werewolves being priestesses of Artemis and…”

“I narrated a werewolf series?”

You described the story to hopefully trigger a memory. “Small town suffers strange animal attacks which turn out to be a werewolf.”

“Sorry but when I read things out loud, it goes in one ear and out the other. But not with you, I’d never with you.”

“I know,” you sighed happily. “You probably don’t remember some chapters. Had to skip them.”

“Really? Why?”

“Sheriff Luca and Celina finally get together and have some babies, so it gets a bit spicy.”

“I really must’ve not been paying attention because I’d remember some spicy reading.”

You laughed, “So how is it on the other side of the country?”

Dieter sighed, “I tell you; I’m bored out of my brains here.”

“Do you have enough yarn?”

“Thankfully yes. And this small town is big enough to have a small yarn shop. I’m nesting now. Actually, let me show you what I found yesterday.”

He moved out of frame for a second and came back trying to move his object into frame. You managed to see a set of books.

“I found the complete Winnie the Pooh stories!” he declared. “It’ll fit great with the nursery.”

“That’s so sweet!”

“I can’t wait to read them,” he wiped a tear from his eye.

“You know, could you read them out now? Record them I mean.”

“You’d like that?”

“I know someone who’d like it,” you said rubbing your stomach.

*****

Clara loved it when her father read to her. Dieter noticed this early on as she’d always give a wide grin whenever he’d talk to her, smiling a toothless grin. Eventually she would understand the words he was saying, and she went on a magical journey every night before bed.

“Now one day Pooh and Piglet and Rabbit and Roo were all playing Poohsticks together. They had dropped their sticks in when Rabbit said ‘Go!’ and then they had hurried across to the other side of the bridge, and now they were all leaning over the edge, waiting to see whose stick would come out first. But it was a long time coming, because the river was very lazy that day, and hardly seemed to mind if it didn’t ever get there at all.”

“Can we play?” Clara asked looking up at him.

“You want to play Pooh Sticks?” she nodded. “Of course we can cupcake. We’ll do it as soon as I’m back.”

Dieter wanted to be there at every bedtime but sadly, his work didn’t make that possible. He was sad to leave his family as he went off to be several states away.

The timing became terrible as Clara came down with a terrible fever that warranted a trip to the emergency room. Thankfully it wasn’t as bad as you thought, your motherly instinct taking it to the extreme. Coming back home after a few hours with medication, Clara was put straight to bed, your bed as you wanted to keep her close. She was still restless with fever, so you put the headphones over her ears like you did when you put them across your pregnant bump. As soon as the dulcet tones of Dieter’s voice played, your daughter instantly calmed and fell into a deep slumber.

You only informed your husband once Clara’s illness was in the clear as he would have come straight back home. He did still call you as soon as he was able.

The ringing of your phone woke you from your slumber. You quickly forgave it as it was Dieter calling, soon seeing his face on your screen.

“How is she? How are both of you?”

“She’s fine. We’re fine. It was just a small fever.” You moved the screen so a sleeping Clara could fit onto your screen.

“She’s sleeping next to you?”

“It made sense. You’ve spoiled her with cuddles.”

He sighed, “I do. And I spoil you with cuddles.”

“Cuddles are nice.”

“She can’t wait until she gets cuddles from you again.”

“Has she been missing me much?”

“Only a little. I brought out your recordings to help her sleep.”

“Really?”

“Really really.”

 “Glad those recordings helped you again. Tell her I found the perfect place to play Pooh Sticks.”

“I will. Love you Dieter.”

“Love the both of you.” He put his fingers to his lips and held them up to the screen and you did the same.

*****

The recordings were used every night while he was away. Clara would happily listen to a story every night. But before she closed her eyes, she’d say “Night night daddy.”

This left you confused until you decided to listen to the recordings. You never heard them in full as the stories were purely for your daughter. Rewinding a little, you listened to the ending. What you discovered brought a tear to your eye.

“So they went off together. But whenever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the Forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing.” There was a pause then Dieter said. “Night night cupcake, daddy loves you.”

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @cevans-is-classic @glshmbl @cupcakehp @gswizzsstuff

[tropetember]

[Image description. Image reads “Tropetember”, in the background, a picture of a mug placed on an open book in front of a blanket invokes a cozy feel. End id] Thanks to @supericelight​ for the image description!

We’ve tried to answer as many common questions as possible below, but if there’s anything else you want to know, our ask box is open.

How do I post my work to the Tropetember AO3 Collection?

When you go to post a new work in AO3, there will be a section that says ‘Post to Collections / Challenges’. In the field next to it, type ‘Tropetember 2024’.

Do I have to post my work to AO3, or can I just post it to Tumblr, or a different site?

You can post your work wherever you like! As long as you make a submission through our Submissions form, or mention us @tropetember in your own post including either the link to wherever the fanwork is hosted, OR the text of the fic, we will post it.

You can also post only to the AO3 collection if you don’t want your work on Tumblr.

How do I tag/format my submission to the blog?

The most important thing is to check the box for #R-tropetember if your fic is NS/ FW (AO3 rating of M or E).

You can also choose from the other checkboxes to tag your work, but please make sure to use these responsibly and correctly! For example, don’t check all of the different types of media unless your work genuinely falls under these categories. Each submission needs to be individually checked and posted by the mods, so please don’t make our job harder - we’re already putting in many hours of work!

Incorrectly tagged works will have all nonessential tags removed and will therefore not show up in the search results.

Please make sure to include your fic’s TITLE, TROPE & SHIP (if applicable). For ship fics, the commonly accepted ship name (main ship only) should be included in brackets after the title, if you know it, and also the main trope/prompt(s) you used in the fic.  Any further courtesy or content warnings are appreciated, but not required.

What do I do if my submission isn’t posted?

Give us 24 hrs to post your submission - both of us work, so we aren’t always online. If it’s been longer than that, it’s either Tumblr screwiness or human error, so please do send us a message or ask so we can check we received it. We want to post all your submissions!

What kinds of fanworks are allowed?

Anything and everything! You can post fic, art, craft, fanvids, playlists, original music, audio, or whatever you like, as long as it fits a trope.

Can I skip some days?

Absolutely. You can do as many or as few days as you wish.

Why are there multiple prompts listed for each day? Do I have to combine them, or can I just pick a single one?

We listed various prompts for each day to give everyone as much choice as possible. You definitely aren’t expected to combine them (but you can if you want!).

Is Tropetember open to any fandom, character or ship?

Yes, it is! Feel free to create content for whichever fandom you want, including crossovers.

What if I miss the day for the prompt I want to do? Can I do the prompts out of order?

It doesn’t matter if you miss the specific day - please go ahead and write the prompt that caught your eye! Feel free to do any of the prompts on any day of September.

What if I’m late and don’t finish before the end of September?

We’ll be allowing late entries for one week after September 30th. If you miss that deadline, the AO3 collection will remain open until the one for next year is up and you can still post your works there.

Can the fills for the prompts be a new chapter of an existing fic, or part of an existing series?

Yes, that’s fine with us. Go ahead!

Can I combine the prompts with another event or bingo?

Absolutely!

Will you reblog NS/FW or controversial material?

Yes, in general we will. However, anything NS/FW or particularly controversial will be tagged with 'R-tropetember’ at the mods’ discretion. Please make sure to block this tag if you don’t want to see NS/FW content.

We will also attempt to tag works with any other relevant tags for blocking, including the ship name if possible. However, we won’t necessarily read all works ourselves, so we won’t be able to tag for all work content. Please heed the AO3 tags.

Remember the first rule of fandom: ship and let ship. :)

Why do you post and reply at strange times?

We don’t live in the USA, so our time zones are different. :) One of us is European and the other is Australian.

What’s with #27, “gay panic”? Isn’t that a discriminatory legal defence that allows for hate crimes against LGBTQIA+ people?

We (the mods) are both members of the LGBT+ community and we are very much aware of our gay history and the way this term has been used against people like ourselves. However, this phrase has a history of being thoroughly reclaimed by fanfic authors, with use dating back well prior to our own entry into fandom (and we’re old enough to remember the days of Livejournal, Wordpress and Fanfiction.net!) Feeling an initial sense of panic over one’s sexuality is something that is highly relatable to most people in the LGBTQIA+ community and that most of us have experienced, and the use of the phrase “Gay Panic” to describe a crisis of sexuality is part of our intertwined communities’ history.

~

Welcome to Tropetember!

Tropetember Prompt List

Tropetember Hard Mode Prompt List

[autisticempathydaemon]

I wasn't sure if this is where I answer for the redacted match up but I hope it is!^^

feel free to take your time and I hope you enjoy reading this stuff...^^

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?: you've seen the butcher by deftones because I really love deftones as a whole and I really love the intro and I don't know why but the song really reminds me of the Shaw pack.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?: Actually no because I have close to zero patience and I just never really liked them.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. : I didn't have any.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?: my watch later tab on YouTube. An hour of mincraft music followed by every redacted sleep aid.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?): I changed my name to toby because it fits the personality I like other people to see me as and the good parts of me. And a lot of people who inspire me are named toby in some form.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?: honestly it changes quite frequently but it usually rotates between the D.A.M.N. crew (Gavin and lasko mostly), Sam, and Porter.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.): Elliot and Aaron because Elliots just kind of boring to me and Aaron is just David without the fuzzy.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.: stranger things but only season 3

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?: ollie or Elliot

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.): sentimental stuff like how I met someone or how I've changed over the last few years

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.: Arizona tea (fruit punch one cuz I'm a fruit cake), Dr. Pepper, or mountain dew

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.: redacted wise: Gavin bc he was the first playlist I ever fully watched and I love my Bae

Music wise: my everything playlist called stuffs that I made 4 years ago.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?: the crave series by Tracy Wolff. It's very similar to a lot of redacted and its vampire shit.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!: I love deftones and Korn. Garfield4life. Lasko is Bae. I found Redacted through the guy confession audio the day it came out. I used to think Damien and lasko were gonna get together because I saw the Damien and Huxley confession cover and had a dream where it was lasko and convinced myself it was real untill I got to that point in the D.A.M.N crew playlist. :]

Hmm, this one was difficult for me. Though you gave me information, I found it hard to glean who you are with that information /nm With that in mind, I think Asher is perfect for you!

I get the vibe that you might not be the type to volunteer a lot when talking about yourself? Asher would be a good match for you in that he’d either be really skilled at easing that info out of you naturally, given his personable and emotionally intelligent nature, or not feeling the need to push or prod, learning about you at your own pace. I also like that you describe yourself as having little patience as that’s how I think of Asher too- at least, until it counts. It’s good for a pair to have similar temperaments, you know?

One of my favorite things about your life with Asher is how much he’d indulge your love of Garfield. Asher Talbot is that boyfriend who goes scours eBay for the things you like no matter what that may be, no matter the cost; he is hounding those auctions like- well, like a wolf. He’s the same way with concert tickets- you know he’s making sure you get the best seats for the next Deftones show, even if he has to save for months. It’s not even his type of music necessarily, as a canon FOB stan, but he listens to their discography for a whole month before the concert to get hyped with you. He’s just like that~

Song:

Maybe we could be/ Sweet eternity/ Are you the one?/ Are you the one?/ Dreaming, I'm sleep/ Are you the one?/ Pray my soul to keep/ Comfort seems unreal/ The opposite of how I feel/ Before I come undone/ Are you the one?

This song came up when I started a Spotify Radio for “You’ve Seen the Butcher”, and I think it suits y’all! One, I always make sure to pick a love song cause matchmaking and romance. Two, it’s got a bounciness to it! It’s fun to listen to; I can easily imagine Asher bopping around at midnight, hopped up on RedBull, while he fixes y’all a snack.

Runner-up:

Vincent is your main runner-up because I think he’d have such a fun time goofin on you about your guilty pleasure books. He’s a vampire; that’s just his right, you know? Milo is your other runner-up because I am imagining Aggro feuding with the little Garfield effigies around your house, and it’s a delightful, silly image.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[tryslora]

What I'm Reading Wednesday...

On the Duck Prints Press reading server, it’s What I’m Reading Wednesday where we all share what we finished in the last week, what we are currently reading, and what we think of these books.

I figured hey, why not bring that to the rest of the world for myself. Because I love yelling about my current reads. And I’ve always got several things in motion at one time, between physical, audio, and ebooks, plus things I’m reading for specific reasons.

Here’s the summary from the last week in visual format (the actual discussion is behind the read-more):

Fiction

I am currently reading Many Drops Make a Stream by Adrian Harley (from Duck Prints Press). There are so many things to love in this book. The world building packs so much into such a small space. The culture clash between human and shapeshifter is wonderful (and Harley’s shapeshifters truly have a culture all their own). I thought it was going to be a quick read because it’s short, but the language and depth of information have me going slower and savoring every word. That said, I’ve also reached the point where I want to take it in faster, so I find myself spending a little extra time every time I pick it up, just to get a few more pages!

Manga & Graphic Novels

I have one manga and one graphic novel in progress.

I’ve been reading The Complete Elfquest, volume 1 by Wendy & Richard Pini for a little over two weeks now. We have several of these volumes, and my intention is to read one chapter/issue a night, so I am able to savor them slowly, but also get through them. Reading this first volume is like coming home into a fandom from childhood. The first chunk of it was also collected in the original Warp Graphics compilations, and I can’t remember how often I read those back in high school. I’m reaching the parts now where I probably only read the individual issues once or twice, so it’s familiar, but not to the point where I’m like oh yes, I remember gazing at that panel for hours. I still love these elves, and this story, and I cannot wait to get home each day and be allowed to read a chapter. I’m looking forward to when I reach new-to-me material.

I watched the 24 episode anime The Apothecary Diaries and I wasn’t ready to let it go when it was over, so I started reading the manga by Natsu Hyuuga and Nekokurage. I finished volumes 5 & 6 this past week and am currently reading volume 7. I have the remaining already published volumes waiting for when I’m done with this. I adore Maomao and Jinshi, and am incredibly excited to get to the point where canon moves past what is in the anime. That said, getting to revisit events I already watched on TV and linger over what was said and the exact expressions has been soooo good. (And yes, I know the light novels also exist and will be rolling into those in ebook form after the manga; I might be a tad bit obsessed).

Audiobook

A while ago I thought “I should read some TJ Klune” so I checked the library list I had for audiobooks, and the first of his Extraordinaries trilogy was available in audio. I listened to it. I was addicted. I’m now on the third book—Heat Wave—and I find it very very hard to put it down. I can’t listen while working, only while commuting, walking, or doing chores—things that don’t require me to actually think so I can multi-task. But hey, it’s a GREAT way to get me to do my PT since it means fifteen minutes more of audiobook listening! Nick, the POV character, has ADHD and I flail a lot over pretty much everything he thinks and does. I love every character in this series. I love how Klune is using superheroes as an allegory for the queer experience and for racial issues, but at the same time, is actually addressing those issues explicitly. I both want to listen faster to find out what happens, and linger so it doesn’t end.

Ebook

I have been reading Wayfinder by CE Murphy, which is the second in a duology. This is a romance, yes, but it’s another fun culture clash book, this time between humanity and faerie, and I am so here for that. Murphy is an author I used to read a lot from, and I’m trying to work my way through her back catalog slowly because I’ve always enjoyed her style. Accessible and fun. This series is about a woman who has always been able to hear lies (a Truthseeker), and how her talent develops, and how she works with the faerie kingdoms to try to help them (despite some of them not wanting help, and the original situation not being the one she’s actually needed for).

Non-fiction

I have been working my way through three non-fiction books.

One is A Year of Zen by Bonnie Myotai Treace. I had been looking for a journaling prompt book, and decided to give this one a try. I made the difficult decision to write directly in the book itself, then the additional decision to let myself fail if needed. So if I don’t get to answer a prompt on a day, I just answer it the next day. One prompt per day. It’ll take me more than a year to go through it, but that’s okay. The idea is to have me think and write a short paragraph every day, and not feel guilty about messing up. It’s working surprisingly well. Learning to let myself fail has been a big part of my process this year, and hopefully I am learning to let go of some of the anxiety about things needing to be matched and rigid.

The one I am stalled on right now is The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. It was recommended as a book that therapists like to use for themselves, not merely recommend to their patients, and it reminded me of the radical acceptance I’m supposed to be practicing (and apparently am, despite myself, according to my therapist after she listened to me). The problem is, it has exercises (doesn’t everything?) and I stalled out because I didn’t have time.

Time is a theme, y’know? And that’s what happened with the last non-fiction book. I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, taking it as a self-guided 12 week course. I’m currently on week 5. However, I did a week of just doing morning notes before I really got started, then I took a week off when everything went haywire in my schedule because of the power outage. So it’s been about seven weeks so far. This week, as I worked on exercises, I found myself really digging in to my emotions about this book. And in the end, I decided that while I can see the value in some things, the book itself is giving me more anxiety about everything to do with my writing, while at the same time making it impossible for me to find time TO write (while following the advice it gives). So. I am no longer doing it as a course, with exercises, but I will finish reading it. And if an exercise appeals, I’ll do it. It’ll still take time, because I’ll probably still read one chapter each weekend, but I am already feeling WAY less stressed and I only made this decision last night.

So…

That’s it for me! What are you reading?

[incorrectonceandfuturenerd]

Happy Ten Year Anniversary @onceandfuturenerd! A few of us over on the discord server put together an audio compilation of us talking about how much we love the podcast and what it means to us. There's a transcript below the cut that also has the names of who's speaking in each clip.

Thank you so much for making this wonderful podcast, and congratulations on ten years!

Kat: I love most things about The Once and Future Nerd. The characters, the setting, the genre awareness, the humor. It’s my favourite podcast for a reason, and that’s saying something as I’ve listened to over a hundred. I remember listening to the show for the first time in late 2016, it was... Christmas concert season and I was walking back and forth pretty much exclusively between my dorm, rehearsal, class, and the dining hall. Um. But somehow, despite that very limited time, I managed to listen to all of The Once and Future Nerd over the course of approximately two days, and fell in love with it pretty much immediately. Um, at the time, all of book one was out, which was, uh, less than there is now, but still a significant amount of podcast to listen to over the course of 48 hours. Um. Aside from how wonderful I continue to find the podcast, The Once and Future Nerd has also allowed me to have access to a community I never would have had otherwise. After creating the discord to talk more about the show with a few other folks, I met some of my closest friends. As of sending this message, I have sent-- and I checked right before- before I did this-- in the server alone, 28,638 messages. That is not including direct messages to my friends, that is just directly in the server. Um, the server has also had a long-running Dungeons and Dragons game that’s been going since spring of 2019, and has had multiple bl- book clubs, including one that meets weekly has consistently since spring of 2020. It’s been one of the most fulfilling community experiences of my life, and it all ties back to The Once and Future Nerd. Creating stupid inside jokes like Gy’y Fy’ryy and Elves Have Fur and Antonin being the sexiest the character no matter what any polls say, he better win this last one, I swear... um, it’s been one of the great joys of my life over the last five years. Thank you so much for all the love and joy, humor, tears, and so much more that The Once and Future Nerd has brought to my life and to the lives of many others. The story’s been wonderful, y’all are wonderful, and I hope you continue for many years to come. Happy ten year anniversary.

Nicole: What do I love about The Once and Future Nerd? This is going to sound weird, but I love how specific it is. The Once and Future Nerd is such a peculiar blend of genre and humor and social commentary, that it’s a near perfect filter for finding like-minded people. I’ve met some of my best friends through this podcast and I’m so grateful I found it back in 2016. At the time, it was so hard to find fantasy audio dramas, so I was immediately drawn to The Once and Future Nerd for that alone, uh, when I was trying to search for some. I really liked the concept, enough to make me listen until Monsters, because that’s the chapter that hooked me. I devoured the rest of book one after that, only pausing to sleep and attend lectures... and sometimes listening to it during lectures. Sorry, not sorry to my stats prof. If I had to pick a favourite moment, I would have to say Yllowyyn’s confrontation with Ry’y lo-Th’yyt in Bridges. I think that one is burned into my brain because I was a crowded train trying not to freak out at the time. This podcast means a lot to me as a source of connection with others and it’s just a plain fun story. Thank you, Zach and Christian and everyone who works so hard on it. It’s been going for ten years, and I don’t care if it takes ten more.

RJ: I found The Once and Future Nerd in February of 2017 as a depressed 18-year-old in my first year of university, and I think I listened to everything that had been released at that point in about a week? I love it because of the genre subversion and genre awareness, I love the characters, I love the way it challenges expectations and engages with complex topics with care... I really, really like listening to this podcast, but more than that, I like talking about this podcast. The main thing that makes me keep coming back to The Once and Future Nerd, keep listening, and that makes it important to me, is the community I’ve found in listening to it. I joined the discord server two days after it was created, and that remains the only fandom space where I’ve successfully made actually close online friends. To the point where the friendship has expanded beyond just our shared enjoyment of the podcast into just... being friends. It’s really great to get to know these people, to plan things like this anniversary event with them, to have things like a weekly book club, or collaborations on projects, or just conversations about silly and serious things related to the podcast, and unrelated to the podcast. And none of that would have happened without The Once and Future Nerd so, thank you. Thank you for being the reason that I know these people, thank you for being the reason that I have been inspired to make creative things, from fanart to videos to what have you, uh... I love your show so much, congratulations on ten years, and I can’t wait to hear what comes next.

Dirk: Hey, this is Dirk. Uh, I don’t remember when I started listening to this podcast, it was years ago-- but I do remember being immediately drawn in by the brief and tragic tale of Mr. Fluffy Toes. The mix of humor and sass and sincerity, it immediately struck me. As the story went on, I delighted in Nelson being shockingly genre-savvy about this fantasy world and, honestly? I really enjoyed the fact that the world at large ignored the kids at first. That’s not something you often get in portal fantasies. Uh, I’ve also always deeply enjoyed the queer representation and tongue-in-cheek political commentary... As if that wasn’t enough, you all gave me a chance to write for your podcast. I had so much fun with the Bailey sisters short, and with making up a whole-ass holiday! It was so much fun. And even though I had to recuse myself from the later plotline, I’m still here to listen to how it goes. My inability to write for it has absolutely no bearing on your grace and kindness to me, and even though I dread how it will make me feel because of my own personal issues, I know that I can trust whatever it turns out to be. Like so many pod- things in this podcast, it’s gonna be sensitive, sometimes funny, sometimes deeply tragic, or terrifying, and it will never punch down. Because that’s the kind of podcast you have made. Happy ten year anniversary, thank you so much for all that you’ve given us. And I hope you can continue making whatcha love for as long as you want to be making it. And like... Let’s be real. As long as you’re making this, we’re gonna be here for it, so... Thank you.

Oriana: I had the podcast recommended to me by a friend who was very active on the reddit at the time. I love that The Once and Future Nerd is not afraid to look long and hard at The Implications of a lot of fantasy tropes. I kept listening because I wanted to know what new ideas would be explored next. One of my favorite moments is the speech that Traft gives about how the Princes of Iorden do alchemy. The Once and Future Nerd is the first thing that I got to write for that has an established audience and... that was very cool. Thank you for everything.

Aja: Hey guys my name is Aja, and I just wanted to say congrats on ten years of a fantastic podcast. I started listening to The Once and Future Nerd back in 2017, 2016, not long after I’d gotten my bachelor’s degree from college and right as I was starting to realize that I wanted to go back to school to get my teaching degree. So it- it came at a really special time in my life. What kept me coming back over all these years is the fantastic character development, especially for the kids, uh, in the story, but also for everybody else, and I’ve also just really appreciated the, uh, subversion, I guess, of fantasy tropes. I think it’s kept the story really interesting and really relevant, and it’s- it’s so real, despite being a fantasy story, so. Thank you so much for all of your hard work, and I look forward to listening for... as long as you keep making this podcast. Thanks guys.

Aster: The Once and Future Nerd is one on an ever-growing list of podcasts that I deeply love despite being upwards of a year behind on, and every time I am able to get back to listening to it, I am in awe of the incredible world that it shows. And a special thanks to the podcast for finally, really, dragging me down into the incredible world of audio drama fandoms.

Teddy: Well, first of all congrats on ten years, that is a tremendously long time to work on a project, and it’s an excellent project to have been worked on. I’ve loved the podcast for... a while. I’m not quite as into it as I used to be, but I still listen to the episodes whenever they come out. Uh... I first listened to the podcast all the way back in, I believe 2016? Uh, when I was in college. One of my friends was listening to it at a DnD session and I heard just one clip of it-- I think it was the scene where Regan had a threesome with the barkeep and his partner? I don’t remember exactly what happened in that scene but, uh... [laughs] it was interesting enough to draw my attention, and I talked to my friend about what the podcast was about, and I decided to go ahead listen to it, and so I listened to it. It hit all the right notes for me. I really loved the emphasis on diversity, and the science that went into it. I thought the science... um, the way science and magic integrated in the show was really fantastic and clever. You know, I really loved the characters. I think I listened to the entire podcast, up until the beginning of covid, about... three or four times through, and then since the pandemic when everything’s slowed down I’ve only listened to it another couple times since then. But, even though it’s no longer quite my main fandom or anything... But I think that I’m going to continue listening to it for as long as it comes out. Even if it’s never my big passion, it’s gonna be one of those quiet, comfortable, familiar things that will be a thread woven throughout the path of the rest of my life. Or not the rest of my life, but, you know, a good portion of it. However long- however much longer it goes, um. But, yeah, uh, congrats again on ten years of The Once and Future Nerd, and thank you for creating it. It’s really fantastic, I love it so much.

Rachel: So I found The Once and Future Nerd shortly after the pandemic started. A friend reached out to me who, um, I had met in college, and she asked to connect and we started calling every week, and we eventually started listening to this podcast together because she was already a fan, and she thought I would love it-- she was totally right. Um [small laugh], and we listened to this for almost a year, almost like a book club. Um, and we talked about it, and we got deep into the themes which was really enriching for me, that’s one of my passions, I got a degree in it. Uh, in, um, literature, so just picking apart stories and I-I was- I’ve always been impressed by how crunchy it is. How the characters feel fleshed out and stood apart from each other, and how so many tropes you think you understand and then you guys subverted them. Um. And then, while I don’t listen to The Once and Future Nerd right now, I have other podcasts that I do listen to, and before listening to The Once and Future Nerd with Kat I was not a podcast person. So, because of this podcast I actually have maintained a friendship, and I’ve gained a whole new ways to access stories, and it’s been pretty marvellous. And I’ve loved that a lot. So I’d like to thank the creators for those two sparks of joy in my life.

Kellie: Congrats on ten years! Um. I have not been listening to The Once and Future Nerd for ten years, I’ve been listening more like the past, like, one and half or so years, um, and I am so glad that I started listening. This podcast means a lot to me, it is one of my favourites, and not only is it just individually enjoyable for me, it’s also brought me closer to a lot of people, um, the existence of the podcast itself has brought me into a community that I value so deeply, and brought me close to so many people who I just love and adore. So, I mean, you know, obviously you’re doing something really right if, uh, you’re bringing people close together for lifetime friendships, uh, by making, you know, content. And that’s amazing in and of itself. But also, just, the podcast itself is so good. I mean, first of all, it’s great quality, it’s, you know, these... these wonderful little stories that are so, so gay. [laughs] And that analyze interesting topics in a really nuanced way. I can’t express the appreciation that I have for the way that y’all talk about these topics cause they’re always- they’re handled so well. Um. So, instead... [laughs] so instead of trying to express that, um, I will instead express that I just love how... I love when Arlene and Gwen are gay. Like, that’s just great. You know? It’s fantastic. And they’re so, so gay, and it’s so, so wonderful every single time. [sighs] And also Regan is just so hot. You know? Like. Uh, I... [sighs] Good for her, you know? Good for her. And good for y’all for- for having this podcast be- be going on for so long and still going strong. It’s- it’s so much fun and I’m so excited to keep listening to it. I’m not all the way caught up! But I’m working on it and I’m r- just enjoying every moment along the way. Thank you for what you do, cause what you do is so great. It’s incredible. Thank you.

Drak: The Once and Future Nerd. Um. What it means to me. So I had really bad migraines a couple years ago. Uh, to the point of, I had to blindfold myself for days and weeks at a time, uh, in order to avoid a debilitating migraine. And, um, so I found myself suddenly having to navigate the world without being able to see. The worst part of it was the boredom because I couldn’t read fanfiction, I couldn’t, uh, do most of my crafting hobbies, I couldn’t play video games. Um, obviously there are, you know, ways that people can do those things while blind, but I did not have any of those accommodations at the time. And so I started listening to podcasts, and I found The Once and Future Nerd and while listening to it, sitting in my room, by myself, uh, blind and in pain, The Once and Future Nerd took me away from my loneliness and my boredom and my pain and, you know, kind of, uh, saved my life. Uh, because I had something to help me get through a difficult period of my life, and, um. On top of that, you know, I-I love how much care and thought the crew and the cast and everyone involved puts into the story, um, in terms of being, like, sensitive about topics and as well as, like, trying to, um, provide good representation for, uh, marginalized voices, and um. I just. God, I love this podcast so much. Thank you, thank you so much for everything y’all do. The Once and Future Nerd is... I-I recommend it to everyone I know, even if they don’t like podcasts because I-I really think it’s that good. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sen: I love this podcast for its tapestry of fantasy tropes, the funny takes, and the moments of awesome. For multifaceted, diverse characters that I hadn’t encountered in other mediums before, and [sighs] well, for a gorgeous sound design that brings it all together. I found this podcast back in the middle of 2018. I was in a really, really bad place then, I was failing my classes, um, due to depression and anxiety for which I had begun taking medications too, which was not easy to adjust to. I just- I couldn’t concentrate on anything at all. So, I ended up searching for, uh, podcasts, and specifically what I would do back then is I would read the scripts and then I’d decide to listen to the whole thing later, you know. I read the first two episodes, then I just decided fuck it. I’m gonna listen. This podcast, and a few others, they were what got me through a really difficult time, but, you know, what made me keep listening then after that was just that it keeps on getting better. Personally, my favourite moment in TOaFN is, uh, episode three of I’ve Been Working on the Whale Road. Because, okay, yes, there are the pilot- uh, pirates, and there is Maddy Groves, but then there is also Bryce’s death. An ignoble death, nobly done. I get emotional thinking about it, but I think the way that Bryce died, it touches you, I think. And I think that... that balance between the humor and the silliness and the sincerity, and the love, I think, uh, it’s always- it touches you. I love this show for its emphasis on storytelling, the words “people are the stories they tell, power is who gets to tell those stories” th-they’re ingrained in my mind at this point. I resonate with the philosophy so much, and I’m so grateful to this show for getting me through tough times and for teaching me things about storytelling, about myself. And for the people that I have met through this show. In the discord server, the long-running DnD game, um, those people that, like, I got close to, and the book club folks, er, that I get to chat with on occasion. They make me laugh and they make me smile and I can confide in them, they’re always there and... I just- I- Thank you so much, for giving me all of that.

CJ: Congrats on ten years!

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 38/41

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, talk about masturbation, separation angst,

Series Masterlist 

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

8.25.2020

Hey babe! 

So, yay email! Hopefully this will work for us. :) But the internet is SO SLOW. Even with barely anyone here it took 10 min for my email to load. I am told by the winterers that trying to upload a video is all but impossible. But a picture *can* go through. Thank the local deity that we don’t have to super old school it and use carrier penguins! Yay! Well we finally made it to McMurdo. I can’t believe it’s been a whole month since I’ve seen you, well except for the phone calls in Christchurch. It feels like the band aid is really ripped off now. I’m just trying to breathe through it. I hope you are staying busy or at least distracted. I am excited to finally be here after 5 days of delayed flights as is the rest of my group. We’ve taken to calling ourselves a flock. I have no idea why. So I’ve got a room all to myself right now, but we’ll see how many people show up for the mainbody season in October, I may or may not have a roommate. So, there I was trying to get settled and I opened my big suitcase and found the books and the dark chocolate and the candles and the little bottle of essential oil blend. Fuck it smells like you. It made me cry and smile at the same time. Thank you baby. This is a classic pic me in front of the station sign. It looks darker than it was, but we only had 4 hours of sunlight and there was a storm coming. Wow, I thought I'd been through blizzards at home. This was nothing compared to what they got here! I’d send you a photo. But it’s literally just white.

I do have a confession to make. You remember that freakin’ hot phone sex we had during my quarantine? Yeah… um.. I recorded the audio, yup, every time. I’m gonna listen to your amazing voice telling me to touch myself. I think I’ll lube up my butt plug you gave me and push it into my ass imagining it’s you. Fuck I miss you. I miss your body next to mine at night and your cock in me in the morning. I love you Aus, I miss you. All the kisses for you. ~Your Kitten

8/26/20

Kitten!!!  I’m so stoked that we still get to keep in touch. Even if only over email. That pic of you in front of the sign feels surreal. I can't even tell it's you with all the layers! The landscape looks so desolate. I’m so glad you found my gifts, that’s just stuff I don’t like to live without, kinda like you. I’m not liking living without you. Although I’m STILL finding post-it notes. You little fiend, putting them in all my clothes. Makes me smile and cry too. I did get some exciting news though. Baz, as you know, has been checking up on me since you left. I really love him, he is such a marvelous soul. Anyway he told me yesterday that we will start rehearsals next week and filming is slated to start up again in mid to late September. Thank God, I gotta have something to focus on other than this empty apartment. I’m just waiting for the rest of the crew to get back in country, then I’ll be too busy to think. Also, I’m gonna talk to your Uncle Roy this week and make sure I can still stay here. Baz says the studio will give me a stipend for the apartment and I’ll just pass that along to him. That reminds me, Kate said she had not seen anything related to us from Marissa’s channel and that she would be willing to have a meeting with her, but she won’t make any guarantees. I have a confession too, I went and developed those couple rolls of film we'd taken. It was so fucking sad that you weren’t there to play with while I waited for them to dry. Anyway, You know how I wasn’t sleeping in our bedroom yet? Well, I put the photos I took of you up all over our bedroom and it finally let me sleep in there alone, although I might’ve cried myself to sleep just a little. When I woke up hard I had those gorgeous pictures of you in that black dress to jerk off to. Fuck you are hot and fuck I miss you so much. Oh my god, just reading that you are fucking your ass with my butt plug has me hard, you are such a naughty Kitten. I might have to keep track of how naughty you are and punish you accordingly when I see you next. I wish you were here to suck this hard cock right now. I think when I finish I’ll stroke myself while looking at those closeups of you and imagine your luscious lips wrapped around me. I’d send you a pic of it, but I’m terrified it could get out somehow. I love you more, I miss you terribly, only 187 more days to go.. Roughly. ~Your Aus

9.20.20

Hello my love,  So how’s things? Are you ready? I’m so excited for you to start filming again. You got this babe! I believe in you! (forehead kisses) There were satellite issues again when I tried to call you last night. I’m so sad we keep getting hosed on our phone calls. Soon you’ll be too busy to take a call from me! We are pretty solidly in the groove of our workday, that’s 6 days a week. I’m on the day shift right now and it’s been a bunch of maintenance checks and rebuilds on buildings and answering calls for service. There is a big build that got delayed due to covid, but we will be starting on that pretty soon. The food is surprisingly good. The galley really loves their themes. Taco Tuesday, Asian Nights, Sunday Brunch. The pizza is pretty good too! It’s not a woodfired oven made by the hands of angels good, but when you want pizza, it’ll do. Made a good group of friends, though we are all weird misfits here it seems. Do you remember when people had to talk to each other instead of stare at their phones? It’s like that here, since there isn’t wifi, not that it would work right. It’s amazing how old school it feels, it’s kind of wonderful. Probably sounds like torture to you my shy, introverted darling.

Most of the people here are guys. It’s like 70/30. I’m the only woman in my department, not like that’s new to me. The first day I showed up for work the foreman asked if I was in the wrong place. They tried to give me shit at first until I out-hammered them all in a nailing race. Just a dumb little competition thing. But it stopped them from fucking with me. Yeah, I know my stuff assholes! Lol! Now we are all good. Except for Joe, I do not like Joe. He just rubs me wrong and won’t let the girl thing go. We may have to have a little come-to-Jesus meeting during which I emasculate him with the claw on my purple hammer! The other women I’ve met have also been surprised by the overall disappointing behavior from some of these guys. There is a saying on the ice- “Antarctica: Full of badass women and mediocre men.” This is true. Not all the guys are that way though, some of them are nice and those are the ones that get laid. Yeah, there are a lot of hookups happening and there are free condoms, like, everywhere. No one here is as interesting or as sexy as my man though. Plus, you spoiled me with not having to use condoms. I miss your skin on mine, I miss your lips on mine, I miss your cock in my mouth. Since I don’t have a roommate yet, I think I’ll light your candle, put on the sexy music playlist we used to fuck to and add some of that EO to my wrists. I’m going to suck on my dildo. I’ll start slow just licking the tip, I’ll imagine your hand in my hair and your sky blue eyes watching every flick of my tongue. I’ll make sure my lips are good and wet before I slide it down my throat. And I’ll be fucking myself with my vibrator, the one that's curved. The only thoughts I'll have in my mind are ‘it’s your cock in my mouth, it’s your hand on my pussy, it’s you, it’s you, it’s you’. I’m gonna cum so hard, moaning around your imagined cock in my mouth, I may have to do it twice. God I miss you. Tell me more about how you jerk off to pictures of me, that is so damn hot. I’m just imagining you stroking yourself, playing with the tip a little. Damn. ~Your Slutty Kitty

 9/22/20

My bad, bad Kitty, I do not know how you do it, but are you aware of how fucking sexy you are? Even just via email you get me so riled up. How do you take the mere 26 letters of the alphabet and make them into these sexy fucking pictures in my head?! I miss my cock in your mouth too, I miss you laying out on the bed with your legs wide and my head buried between them. I don’t have anything to lick and pretend is your pussy, but I promise I will make up for it when I see you next. Oh lord I gotta go take care of this massively hard co

9/22/20

Hey love,  Sorry, I hit send without meaning to! You got me so hot I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t take me long baby, I used that coconut oil from just before you left. The scent totally put me right back there with you on your knees devouring my cock. That reminds me, I need to get that dress dry-cleaned… It’s stopped smelling like you now so… I suppose it’s time. I’m ready- ish, the last 6 months made me feel like all the Elvis sunk into my bones. I’ve been working like a fiend with Baz and Polly and Irene and Erik. They have all commented on how it’s different now, more natural. My day is so full of Elvis again it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m so nervous all over again. I’m waking up at 3 again. I miss you. Not just for the sex baby, but you. You make me better. Please keep trying to call, my PA on set will have my phone when I don’t. I put one of your pics up in my trailer, btw, one of the clothed ones. I kiss my fingers and touch it every time I leave and say hello to it when I come in. People that see me do it still don't know who you are, (Baz and Tom are good secret keepers). That last article with the pics of you and I at the airport really threw them all off. I think Kate told me that the paps were searching the passenger lists for all outgoing planes to Europe that day to see if they could figure out who you were. It's fun to keep them guessing. I totally get the hooking up, happens on set too. People are people. I’m not worried about you Kitten. How’s your demon though… she doin’ ok? Getting out of hand at all… pun intended! Ok, early call in the morning. I love you so much. 160 days +/- ~ton Roi

10.11.20

My darling man,  FUCK I am still riding the high from talking to you last week! I can’t believe I caught you in your trailer too! I’m sorry I couldn’t play sexy games back with you because the phone was too public on my end. I loved you telling me how you were stroking yourself though and how you came on your stomach. I went right back to my room, to rub one out. Damn. Luckily my new roommate was at work. She asked me when she moved in why I had a pic of you and me on the wall by my desk. I told her I was in love with you. It was so funny, she sat down on the couch and started talking about you like we were in middle school. ‘ He’s so dreamy and I hear he broke up with his girlfriend and is dating a French woman!’ “was that the only time you met him?” Oh my god, it was all I could do to not laugh in her face. I’m sorry baby, I had to tell her. I hope you aren’t mad! I still don’t think she believes me, even after I showed her pictures of us (appropriately clothed of course). I appreciate you asking after that sexy bitch in my head. She is doing fine, staying on her lead. None of these people would satisfy her anyway. She’s too far gone for you. :) My daily horniness level has chilled out since I’ve not been getting fucked by you on the regular, though there are times! Oh and fun news! I’m going to be setting up a few field camps in a couple weeks, so I won’t be in touch much after halloween -ish. But I WILL be out on the literal ice. Think warm thoughts for me! At least I will get away from Joe! He is still a dick.

~your naughty Kitten (for different reasons)

10/12/20

Kitten,  Of course I’m not mad! Once you are back I want the whole world to know that you are mine and I am yours. Also, Kate set up a meeting with your cousin Marissa. I talked to her and got her info when I talked to Uncle Roy. (He still refuses to let me pay him.) Kate was impressed by her and is planning on offering her a paid internship. Love you baby, go conquer that ice! ~Aus

(Please read the following letter with a deep southern accent of yore) Twenty fifth day of October in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty My darling Austin, I pray that this electronic mail finds you healthy and hale. I have been feeling dashed about by the trials and travails of my good work here on the deep continent. We no longer are a sleepy little hamlet of a mere 200 people. Oh no! A veritable influx of learned people hath arrived, swelling our little cold town to over 800! The light has arisen indeed as we currently receive a joyful 15 hours of sunlight each blessed day. My dear roommate Tabitha seems to have accepted the love that exists between us, my dear Austin, since she overheard our delightful conversation on the telephone a scant few days ago. Indeed it seems she has spread our information to the other members of the kitchen staff as one of the good ladies asked me about it the other day as I procured my nourishment. The person in question didn’t know you, but was happy to know I was dating someone, since apparently the rumor had been circulating that I was a person uninterested, sexually that is. The very idea! My darling Austin, I shall be leaving in two days time for my quest on the ice. It will be my pleasure to erect structures providing temporary shelter from which the good men and women of science may illicit new and exciting information about this oft times perplexing world that humanity calls home. And before you query, yes, I must confess my dear Mr. Butler, I have been imbibing in the devil's drink and yes my loins still burn for you. Pray for me, dear man, that I may endure such hardships that may come and be delivered forthwith into your awaiting arms. With all my love and tenderness. Miss Kitten P.S. Sorry about drunk-as-fuck girl up there, she is just being silly. Can’t wait to fuck your brains out again! Love you -She Demon

10/26/20

Kitten,  You are so weird. I fucking love it and you. I’m so glad you are mine. Filming is so far so good. I barely have time to think, which is perfect. Also, I was eating a mango in the kitchen last night. You know how you cut the side off and score it then turn it inside out? Well, I decided just to eat it off the rind like that, instead of cut the chunks out. And all of a sudden it was like eating your dripping pussy. I am slightly ashamed to say that I dropped my pants right there and jerked off with the coconut oil. The juice was dripping down my chin and chest and onto my cock. Oh, My. God. It was the best one yet. I’ll have to do it for you (to you?) when you get back. Needless to say, a whole new world has opened up to me. I WILL be buying more mangoes. I may not be able to see one without getting aroused from here on out. I think I’ll go have the other half now…

Good luck doing bang! bang! construction things on the ice! Stay safe and warm. I’ll talk to you when you get back. Forever yours- Austin

10.27.20

Aus-  Oh, Mangoes… Damn. Now I fucking want mangoes. Freshies are like currency down here, I haven’t seen a mango though. Just so you know, that last letter was a bet between me and Tabs. We did karaoke that night and I got a little sloshed and started talking in accents. She didn’t think I would do it. Lol! I tried calling you a few min ago, but no answer. I’m leaving in an hour. I’ll email and try to call when I’m back! Oh and come to find out that Joe thought he was flirting with me the whole time, he likes me. Was about to pull my pigtails, I suspect. Boys are so weird. I confronted him and he confessed he was crushing on me pretty hard. I told him about you ( not by name) and that I wasn’t available (plus I would fucking break him). He seems to have backed off and will hopefully treat me like a person. So yay! Growth! Love you tons, Tally ho! Kitten

10/28/20

Darling,  It breaks my heart that I missed hearing your voice. I really needed it too. We filmed some gut wrenching stuff this week and I just needed you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Austin 124 +/-

 11.22.20

Sweet, sweet man, I love you too! I’m sorry you had a tough week and I wasn’t there for you. I promise after this, I will never be more than a text away from you again. I hope it’s gotten better! I’m going to try calling tonight when I get off work. Thank god I’m back though! We had a crazy, crazy time. We got caught in a freak storm at Amundsen-Scott. We were supposed to be there for like a day to get supplies and such. We ended up there for 5 days! But after that things cleared up, it was amazing. We set up 5 different camps. Everything from simple temporary polar escapes on wooden platforms to actual shelters that will have to stand up for the rest of the season if not longer. One was at a penguin rookery! They were adorable and came right up to us! Miss you love, hopefully we will talk soon! ~Kitten

11/23/20

Babe,  Those pictures with you and the penguins are unreal! I can't believe they just walked up to you. It blows my mind that anything can live down there. How are things with Joe? Did he actually change his behavior? I would say ‘do you need me to come down there?’ but I know you got this, my amazing, strong sexy beast of a woman. I hope I can pick up when you call next. Missing hearing your voice broke my heart. ~Aus 98+/- (Why is this taking so damn long! You should be in my arms.)

 12.14.20

Dear darling Austin, Thank god we got to talk last week, I was really worried about you. Digging into the pain about your mom… I just wish I was there to hold you tight, like she would’ve been. I know I didn’t know her, but from everything you’ve said, I know I would have adored her. (hugs, hugs and more hugs) I got your package yesterday! I opened it without thinking, thank god all the things in it were wrapped! Except for the mangoes… fuck baby. They are perfectly ripe right now, if a little frozen. I’m gonna go eat some mango pussy. Would you like that? watching me eat pussy….

Did you get my package yet? It might be a bit silly. But you can open it when you get it. :) We have been digging into this new building since I got back. The guys worked on all the steel pieces and I’m lead on the framing team. It’s definitely different from what I’ve been used to doing. But I’m finding that all my skills are actually helpful because I know the pieces that come next, so I don’t let the crew fuck things up for the electricians and plumbers and drywallers that will be coming behind us in the future. I miss you baby, I know we keep saying that to each other, so much that it’s like saying something over and over again and the shape of it feels odd in your mouth all of a sudden. But even though I have made great friends here and am in a routine that pulls me from day to day, it would be perfect if you were here with me. With you on my arm, no one would try to pull my pigtails! Love you with all my heart ~Kitten

12/25/20

Baby Doll,  Merry Christmas!! Babe, I did get your package, and I didn’t open in until this morning. Why would you say it’s silly? It’s amazing. You painted this? I am going to take it in and have it framed so I can hang it up. Wow. If you ever wanted to stop doing construction, you could be a professional artist. Tom and Rita have invited a bunch of us up to their place for dinner. I’m about to go get ready but just wanted to tell you that yes, I get it. Saying it gets old, but it doesn't mean we don’t feel it still. Yeah, mom would’ve adored you right back. I fucking miss you. I fucking love you. And holy fuck yes on watching you eat pussy, mango or otherwise.

66 days +/- (can we make time move faster?) ~Your own personal elf- Austin

12.25.20

Dear Austin,  Merry Christmas!! I loved your gifts, they are perfect for here! Lip balm and sunscreen and the warmest, silliest socks. That mini humidifier is sitting on my bedside table as we speak! The running gloves for under my big ones are going to be a game changer! Now I can do fiddly bits without my fingers getting cold! Although it’s a ridiculously balmy 25 degrees Celsius out there right now. I don’t even bring my red parka out right now! Today I joined the Antarctic Polar bear club. Yup I plunged into barely above freezing water in my underwear, no not the unicorn ones, I actually had some polar bear ones I brought just for this! I was nothing if not on theme! It was fucking cold. And exhilarating! But I’m not sure I want to do it again. Luckily we went right into the sauna to warm up! Love you ever so much, give Tom and Rita my love! ~Your Xmas Kitten

1/1/21

My sweet Kitten, Thank you for the phone call, oh my god I needed it. I’m feeling so worn out, even though we kinda had this week off and I’ve been just sleeping as much as I can and going to the beach with other cast members, it’s just not the same without my best girl next to me. (that’s you, btw) I wish I had you with me last night to kiss. I did end up kissing Olivia, but it was just a new years eve peck thing, plus it’s not like we’ve not kissed on set. Is that weird for you? I’ve never asked you about it. Love you so much, it hurts. I def need a kiss on my heart. 59 days +/- ~Yours, Austin

1.3.21

Austin, When I see you, you are gonna get all the kisses on every part of you. Real talk babe: where I’d like to be there to remind you what my kisses are like and reap the benefits if you get turned on, kissing on set doesn't bug me, that’s just part of acting. Didn’t Elvis kiss like all the girls in the audience? Super-spreader much? Ha! TBH, I pecked a few people too when we counted down to midnight. How do you feel about that? Wow, that looks super passive aggressive. I’m def not meaning it that way. Just wondering cuz we’ve never talked about it and I don’t think our games with Loki or ‘the guy from Brisbane’ count as talking about it! Now actually making out with someone like not for work (that’s a crazy sentence right there!)… that we’d def have to talk about. I mean… mostly because I would want to be a part of something hot like that. FOMO!!! On a different note, I sang in Icestock last night. It’s the annual McMurdo music festival. There were comedians and skits and mini plays and bands and a chili cook off! I sang a bunch of stuff with some guys, we had to rehearse on our off time but it was super fun! I had my buddy video it. I’m gonna put it on a USB stick and send it to you, just for fun! There is some other stuff on there too, just for you, including my polar plunge! God we needed a party too. The grind was getting to us all. Yeah we have 24 hours of daylight, but I never knew I’d miss the stars so much! We are about to head into Vessel Season, that means extra people in town, mostly Kiwi and US military, to help unload the massive supply ships. From what I understand we will be pulled to help. I love you baby, soon hunny, soon I miss YOUR kisses ~Kitten

 1/8/21

My darling love, Happy Elvis’ birthday! He would've been 86. We had a huge birthday cake on set today. I don’t really care about pecks like that, plus you are too French for me to get up in arms about that. I do feel the same way you do about making out. If you are gonna make out with someone, I want to be there too. If it’s a girl, I def want to be there. That would be hot. We filmed a kissing scene today between young Elvis and younger Priscilla. It really made me miss you so much. I definitely channeled our first kiss into the work. Remember, on the couch? This might be weird to say, but no one kisses me like you do. Love and miss you, 52 days +/- ~Aus

1/25/21

Kitten,  Honey, I have a confession. We were rehearsing one of the big shows where Elvis goes into the audience and kisses all the girls. I had to talk my own demon out of taking home an extra and fucking her silly. She looked just enough like you and she was staring at me all dreamy eyed when I was on stage. Then I had to kiss all these women in the audience and I was all worked up. I’m sorry babe, know that I didn’t do anything or even talk to her. But we talked about being honest with one another and I feel better with you knowing. No I’m not asking if I can do anything with her, it was just like a perfect storm to turn me on. Honestly I’ve been too exhausted and terrified to really feel horny lately, so it kinda took me by surprise. I’m so sorry if this makes you mad. Know I love you and I’m not gonna do anything to screw up what we have. ~Austin 35 days +/- (I can wait, I swear)

1.26.21

Babe,  Love you, not mad. Will respond more when I have time! ~Your best girl

1.31.21

Ok my love,  First of all, I’m sorry this took so long to reply to. It’s been so busy here I’ve not had time. Secondly, I’m not mad. You are human, despite your intrusive thoughts to the contrary. Being attracted to people is just a part of being human. It actually feels really good that you were comfy enough to tell me how you are feeling. Thank you for trusting me. I have this ideal thought in my head that I’d want to be cool with a sorta semi-permeable relationship. Like yeah, making out with a women with you would be hot… fuck I think making out with a man with you would blow my fucking mind. (would you be down for that? Kissing a guy?) But I know I’m not cool with either of us just fucking others at will, at least not when we are this far away. How could you reclaim me, or I you, when these miles exist between us? Share someone with you? Sure, but we need to actually sit down and talk about it face to face. When I'm back and we’ve talked and you and I have had our fill of one another, if that girl is game and we get along… I’m down to try it out, baby. If you are even interested in that. There are a few cute Airmen here, but my demon seems to be slumbering. Remember, the less I get the less I want it. It could also be the fucking 10-12 hour days we’ve been putting in! Which is VERY different from fucking 10-12 hours a day.  Remember our first 72 hours? Damn that was amazing. I love you baby, now and forever, Your lover- Kitten

2/4/21

Amazing woman of my dreams,  How are you so fucking cool, do you know how hard I had to work to get my other gf’s to be cool about kissing on set, let alone talk about sharing a person. This whole thing makes me love you even more. How do I feel about kissing a guy? I think it depends on the guy. But it doesn’t squick me out or anything. Honestly right now, if it meant getting to hold you in my arms, I’d do it and more in a heartbeat. And for the record, I don’t think I could ever ‘get my fill’ of you babe. I love you so much, 25 days +/- (is that fucking real, only 25 days???) Devoted to you- Austin

2.25.21

Babe,  Oh my god! I am so done helping unload and reload ships! Give me my fucking hammer and let me pound something! So I have some shitty news. Y’know how, on the phone we were talking about my departure date being end of February and being back with you by March 1st. Well, I got my departure date, it’s not until March 10th, and I can’t move it up. They even offered me a bonus to stay overwinter, but I declined. As cool as it’s been I need to get off the ice and into your arms. So I won't be back on the Gold Coast until March 12th at the earliest. I don’t know if I have to quarantine. I have to arrange for my stuff to be shipped to Greece in that time as well. You say you have to leave for London mid March. I’m freaking out that I might miss you. I’m gonna try to call tomorrow so we can talk about it. Fuck this sucks, Love you so much ~Kitten

[silverfoxstole]

Thank you for the tag, @jennyfair7 !

Tag someone you want to know better!

Favorite color: various shades of blue

Last song: Big Big Love by Belinda Carlisle

Last movie: I can’t actually remember when I last watched a film! It may have been Paper Mask, months ago.

Currently watching: We’re rewatching Open All Hours for the umpteenth time, and skipping back and forth through Poirot (again). The new series of Fake of Fortune started last week as well.

Other stuff I watched this year: Mostly stuff we’ve seen many times before. The only new things I’ve seen have been The Great British Sewing Bee and Annika.

Shows I dropped this year/didn’t finish: Nothing. I don’t watch much current TV so it’s unlikely to happen.

Currently reading: Just finished Hogarth: A Life and a World by Jenny Uglow. Not sure what I’ll start next as all the books I want to read are still an extortionate price on Kindle.

Currently listening to: I’m going through the Lucie Miller BF audios as I’ve actually not heard them all. And Santiano, whose new album is out at the end of the week.

Currently working on: Yet another PMG sketch, and I have a pair of jeans to finish that I started yesterday.

Current obsession: Do I really need to answer that? I think this blog is self-explanatory. 😉

Tagging with no pressure whatsoever: @know-it-all-freak @eighthwholove @eightwithcapitale @aragarna and anyone else who would like to join in!

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve had Cabin Pressure saved on my phone for fucking ages by now. I downloaded it back in early July, I think. I had the idea that I had gone through most of my list of things to watch/listen to, and I wanted some new long-running audio thing. I asked people what they thought I should pick, and had multiple recommendations for this show Cabin Pressure, which is not long-running, people just said it’s good and only 13 hours so I should do that first. I didn’t know much about it, I knew that John Finnemore is one of those guys who was Footlights and Radio 4 so probably does the kind of vaguely pretentious humour that I like, so I downloaded it and figured that once I finish everything else on the list, I’ll quickly do the 13 hours of Cabin Pressure before starting some new long-running thing.

…That was months ago. It’s now mid-November, because I kept getting recommended other things. I did a Lee & Herring rabbit hole, followed by going through a whole bunch of Stewart Lee things that I didn’t get to last year when I just did his TV shows + DVDs. A similar thing with Josie Long, when I got my ahdns on a bunch of her stuff that went beyond her recorded shows that I heard/watched last year. There was a bunch of Robin Ince stuff and Michael Legge stuff. There were lots of recordings from the 2023 Edinburgh Festival throughout August. Then there was Alan Partridge, I listened to From the Oasthouse and liked it so much that I had to listen to all three of his audiobooks before I could move on from that. Turns out I missed out on a lot by only doing the TV/radio things + movie on the first go of that stuff years ago, the books and podcasts are better.

There have been other things too. I kept finding more stuff, to add to my “Comedy --> New” working folder on my phone, with the folder labeled “Cabin Pressure” always there at the top, never touched. But this week, I finally finished everything else in that folder, and all the episodes on my podcast app and in my Downloads folder on my laptop, and opened up this new thing.

I realized I’d been expected it to be a show about people trapped in an airplane after a crash or something – some sort of horror scenario like that. So I was surprised to learn it’s just a sitcom about airline pilots flying planes, and I had to retrace my steps to work out where I got my expectation. I think it came from the fact that the only thing I’ve seen John Finnemore do was be the guy who flew the escape pod in Avenue 5, so I guess I just assumed anything he does with flying is a dystopia.

I’m now two episodes in, and it’s not a dystopian nightmare. It’s Butternut Cabbagepatch and Peter Manion from The Thick of It being sarcastic at each other, and it’s great. It makes me almost nostalgic, the way it so perfectly captures the essence of the Radio 4 sitcom, of the sort that my dad used to often play in the car when I was a kid. Biting, sarcastic characters all talking with perfect diction and dry wit being sardonically annoyed about things. A bit like The Department too (which is another example of how I think this the exact type of slightly pretentious humour that you get when you combine Footlights with Radio 4). I love that shit.

Unfortunately, however, I’ve been sidetracked again. I’ve heard a few things of Nish Kumar’s recent stand-up, some of which can be seen in a post that’s been going around Tumblr, where he thanks Russell Brand for never making anything of value that is now ruined by the recent news. I think the version that got filmed actually didn’t mention Arthur, but in some other versions, he has said he specifically appreciates that the Arthur remake was shit so it’s not like anyone’s out there saying “Oh no, I can’t watch the Arthur remake anymore.” I hope the fact that he didn’t mention it on NextUp doesn’t mean he’s cut that line entirely, because I think it’s a good example.

I haven’t seen the Arthur remake. But I have seen Arthur, several times, when I was quite young. To be honest I don’t remember a lot about it, except that it had a main character who was kind of a dick, with a dry-witted sarcastic butler who at one point said “I’ll alert the media” when Arthur said he was going to take a bath. I remember that part because it became a running joke in my family for years and years. It still is, actually. Ever since I was a kid, my family will say “I’ll alert the media” to each other as a way to sarcastically suggest that whatever they’re doing isn’t that important.

When I was a teenager, I used to write a parody newspaper that would publish an edition during every family reunion, because that’s the type of annoying teenager I was (I say, as though I don’t now have a blog for writing similarly annoying things). I remember that one time, at such a gathering, my father told me he was going to take a bath. “I’ll alert the media!” I said, very pleased to have had an excuse to use that reference in its original context. As soon as I said it, I realized I was the media, and considered myself alerted. So I wrote an article in the family newspaper called “Your Very Local News – What Is Going on in Your Bathroom Right Now” about how my father was taking a bath, and the whole thing was a joke about how the media has to be alerted when people take baths, and it was a reference to a movie that no one in the family besides my parents/brother and I had seen. I was about to write that that’s the sort of annoying teenager I used to be, but actually, I stand by that, I think it was hilarious.

Anyway. I haven’t actually seen that movie since I was young. I remember so little about it. I know it stars Dudley Moore. I remember my dad first got me interested in it by telling me it stars one of the Beyond the Fringe guys, since I loved the Beyond the Fringe CD that he used to play in the car a lot (when he wasn’t playing mildly pretentious Radio 4 sitcoms, or his Goon Show tapes – you can see how my childhood influenced my current interests). I remember finding it very funny.

So, when I heard Nish Kumar fairly recently mention the Arthur remake (for anyone who doesn’t know, the original movie is from 1981, while in 2011 Russell Brand starred in a remake, I have never seen that remake and have no desire to do so), it made me think I should re-watch that original movie. Then I listened to two episodes of Cabin Pressure, where one of the main characters is named Arthur, and every time they say his name it makes me think I should watch Arthur.

So the upshot is that I have downloaded the (original) Arthur movie and I’m going to watch that. But I will get back to Cabin Pressure soon! That show is definitely going in the folder of Britcom that I’ll give my dad for Christmas this year, as I’ve spent the last few years repaying him for raising me on this stuff by giving him back a stream of more comedy than he could ever watch or hear (don’t worry, I’ll get him a proper gift too). I am, to be honest, surprising myself a bit by how much I’m enjoying it.

In the meantime, though, I’ll let you all know if the Arthur movie is any good now that I’m over the age of about ten. Some things I enjoyed when I was ten have really held up, and some very much have not.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Daily Planet Classifieds

Fandom: DC Comics, Superfam, Young Justice 98, Titans

Summary: Laney Hausler is currently attending classes at Metropolis University when he sees a boy with his face in the library. At first, he thinks he's seeing things. Later, he starts to realize something strange is going on.

Conner Kent lives off-campus with his friends, but he sees a boy who eerily resembles him, and he hires a private investigator to look into the life of his doppelganger.

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Jonathan Lane Kent, Conner Kent, Eddie Bloomberg, Rose Wilson, Bart Allen, Cassie Sandsmark, Cissie King-Jones, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Meloni Thawne, Vic Sage, Slade Wilson

Relationships: Past KonBart

Additional Tags: Father-Son Relationship, Father-Daughter Relationship, No Powers AU, Found Family, Stalking, Family Secrets, No Powers AU, No Capes AU, Complicated Relationships, University AU, Roommates, Private Investigator, Twins, Multiple POV, First Person POV, Obsession, Psychological Drama, Complicated Relationships, Unrequited Love, Platonic Relationships

Chapter One: Move-In Day (Laney's POV)

Orientation and the move-in weekend started on Thursday. I spent my entire childhood in home school, but after weeks of begging, Father agreed to let me go away to college. It was the only time I’d ever been alone, so my departure was not without tears. Father set me straight, and he put me on the train. I waved until I could no longer see him, and my journey began. I slept in my train car for a few hours until the sun peeked through the blinds. I woke up and waited for breakfast. Father gave me a book to read to keep me busy, but I couldn’t focus on the words. I pulled my sketchbook out of my backpack and drew our house. It was a little bluish-grey house that you had to take a boat to get to. Just beyond the front door, our wooden dock and willows surrounded the home, almost swallowing our blue house up. I lived in isolation there with my father until I was old enough to sit quietly in his office and tend to my studies.

Father sat with me and worked on my reading between surgeries and consultations. He told me I required more attention than the public schools would’ve afforded me, and I saw things I wouldn’t have in a public school. I sat in on Father’s surgeries when I wasn’t doing homework or sleeping in his office. At home, I’d work on our land, and on weekends I’d make money selling produce at the farmer’s markets. Sugar cane, garden eggs, corn, carrots, and figs. All sorts of things. The farm and the hospital were all I knew. But I sat on the train, looking out the window at unfamiliar territory. I was far from Kansas. And the marsh. And our little bluish-grey house. And Father.

I ate breakfast in the dining car, watching the trees zoom past, wondering when it’d all stop. Smallville to Metropolis was a forty-hour trip by train, requiring a transfer. I was too nervous to travel by plane. But I always had lovely dreams about trains. My breakfast had too much sugar, but I didn’t mind. It gave me such a rush.

I returned to my car, finishing my sketch before listening to the audio for the book Father gave me. I tried to follow along, but I couldn’t stay awake long. I stopped the tape and lay on my stomach.

The train ride went smoothly, and from there, I lugged my suitcases to the nearest cab. The cabbie helped me load my luggage into the trunk. “Where to?” asked the cabbie.

“Metropolis University,” I answered.

“Long way from home?” he questioned.

“Mhm… All I wanna do is lie down in my dorm and sleep, but I’m thrilled-. I’m rambling,” I muttered.

“That’s alright. Most kids don’t wanna talk at all. These drives go a lot faster when you have someone to talk to,” he replied. So, we talked. Or at least I talked. When I arrived at the campus, I ran into a large crowd of people, and I grabbed a map from one of the tables. I’d never had a cellphone before because I never needed one, so I nearly forgot to text my new roommates to let them know I was on my way.

I sent a short message and received a call immediately. “Where are you? I’ll meet you there,” he said without so much as a greeting.

“Um… I’m at the big statue of the bulldog,” I replied, “And… I have a question. I hope you don’t think I’m rude for forgetting. It’s just that I don’t know how my phone works yet-.”

“You don’t remember my name. Do you?” he laughed. “That’s okay. It’s Eddie. You’ll remember it once you meet me in person.”

“Eddie. Right,” I smiled, “Um, I don’t wanna cause you any trouble. If you’re moving in, I can find-.”

“I see you! I think. You’re the one with the hat, right?” Eddie asked.

I looked around and tipped my hat. “Sure am,” I replied.

He tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned to see Eddie for the first time. I don’t think I ever would’ve expected to see the person I did. He was a ruddy ginger boy with blue eyes and a wide smile. “Rose would’ve come too, but she’s putting together furniture, so she’s not exactly in a pleasant mood… And she doesn’t read Swedish-.”

“I could help. I don’t read Swedish, but I’m a whiz at assembling furniture,” I interrupted without meaning to. Eddie laughed and led me to our dorm suite, which was more like a small house than a room. A girl sat on the floor with a cigarette in her mouth, cursing as she tried to assemble a bookshelf.

“Stupid old man and his stupid Swedish furniture. I hope I see that bitch in the street-.”

“Rose,” Eddie raised his voice. She put the unlit cigarette in its box and extended a hand to me. I shook her hand.

“I’m Laney… Um, you bought Swedish furniture from an old man?” I asked.

“No… My fucking dad ordered it as a character-building exercise. I should take this fucking deformed screwdriver-.”

“Allen wrench… It’s an-. I can put that together for you,” I offered, “I can put it together in less than twenty minutes.”

“Fuck yeah, I’ll order takeout. What do you eat?” Rose asked.

“Tacos,” Eddie whispered, “Say tacos.”

“Sure, I’ve never had tacos before,” I replied. Their jaws dropped and they stared at me in silence. “Well, I-. I um-. I lived in a small swampy town outside Smallville… And we didn’t eat out a lot.”

“Put the Alex wrench down. We’re going to find you the best tacos Metropolis has to offer,” Rose replied as she stood up. Eddie grabbed his car keys, and I followed them out the door.

“Oh, it’s no big deal-.”

“Laney, it’s a big deal for us,” Eddie interrupted.

They took me across town in Eddie’s car while Rose smoked a cigarette and looked at ratings for taco restaurants on her phone. “The best one is by S.T.A.R. Labs,” Rose replied, “Hey, Lane? What’s your major?”

“I’m Pre-Med. I wanna go into pediatric surgery,” I answered, “What about you guys?”

“I’m Women’s Studies, and Eddie’s a film major,” Rose answered.

I couldn’t remember much after that because I fell asleep. When I woke up, Eddie and Rose were in line. Eddie walked over and leaned in the window. “What kind of meat do you like? They’ve got chicken, pork, beef, lamb, fish, shrimp-.”

“I’ll have lamb,” I answered.

“Lamb… Okay,” Eddie replied, “Do you want a Coke?” I shook my head.

“I don’t drink pop… Um, I’ll have tea or fruit juice if they have any… And if they don’t, I’ll have water,” I replied. Eddie nodded and tapped the hood of the car.

Eddie and Rose came back to the car several minutes later with drinks and tacos. “You’re a real straight arrow, you know that?” Rose teased. “Do you have a problem with me smoking around you, because-.”

“No, it’s alright. I don’t mind. A lot of the doctors at my father’s hospital smoked cigarettes,” I replied.

“Your dad’s a doctor?” Eddie asked.

“Mhm, he’s a neurosurgeon,” I replied.

“Oh, shit… Is he pressuring you into Pre-Med? Slade almost blew a gasket when he found out I wanted to major in Women’s Studies,” Rose replied, “He’s military.”

“My dad’s a car salesman, but I don’t think he cares what I do. I’ve lived with my aunt for the past six years,” Eddie replied.

“Oh, my father and I are close… We did everything together,” I explained, "I think he wanted me to go into architecture instead, though."

"How come?" Eddie asked as he dipped his taco in sauce and took a bite.

"Surgery is high-stress, and he wanted me to stay closer to home," I replied. Rose gave me my to-go plate and a styrofoam sauce cup. I set the cup inside the lid of my container before dipping my taco like Eddie and taking a bite. It was spicy and savory with hints of lime. Not to mention the lamb. It was cooked to perfection, and the tortilla crunched wonderfully between my teeth. I made a noise and they fell into a fit of laughter.

"Good, huh?" Rose chuckled.

"It's amazing," I replied before taking another bite. I must’ve eaten ten tacos that night. I assembled the bookcase and unpacked after we got home, and I would’ve slept in my bed, but we all fell asleep on the couch after setting up Eddie’s bookcase.

[riversofmars]

Hey ya,

I recently stumbled over your blog bc of my incredible adoration for Nicola Walker (well, tbh let’s just say I’m a sucker for everything she does) but I never got into the Big Finish Audio universe – well, until now! And it’s all bc of you. (I know I’m kinda late to this party…how could I've missed that?) Bc of your blog I started to ship Liv/Helen (I mean, omg, how can one not?!) although I only listened to Dark Eyes so far (and Helen is not even in it!). now I can’t just get enough of these audio plays – much to the disappointment of my bank account (of course I discovered this incredible universe of the 8th Doctor and Liv after the December sale of Liv’s audio plays). But well, Doom Coalition, here I come! I think I’ll never get out of that universe again. Haha.

So, thank you for bringing me here! I definitely need to dive into the whole Helen/Liv fanfic world as well. Do you have a good story to start with? Or a favourite one? (can definitely be one of yours)

OMG! That is just the best message to wake up to! Welcome to the club, you will not be disappointed!!! And you're quite right, this universe probably won't let you go again, that's certainly my experience. The whole range is just amazing, you're in for such a treat. Doom Coalition is just the best! Feel absolutely free - if you'd like to discuss the audio and or/scream about them XD - to DM me as well. Always love hearing first reactions to these amazing stories!!!

I would just point you towards some of the other wonderful Liv/Helen shippers on here if you don't follow them already!! @meluisart @might-be-a-zygon @morbidjazz @cactuswithacamera @pers-books @ceridwyn2 and many more!

And ohhhh the word of fanfiction... We have this big goal of one day reaching 1k of stories for them so they can be counted as one of the big DW ships! As it stands, they already have the most amount of any Big Finish pairing which is just amazing so there are an awful lot of outstanding stories to chose from! One thing I'd say is: Spoilers. A lot of mine would spoil many stories that you haven't listened to yet, though I suppose if you follow me and ship Liv/Helen as a result, you've already seen some of the biggest spoilers... sorry about that! So when if comes to suggesting something, I'm gonna just go with stories that are alternate universes or relate to Dark Eyes in particular! There is just so much amazing fic to chose from, I wouldn't know how else to pick XD

So here are a couple of mine that would suit!

"In the Absence of Moral Absolutes" - A Nixyce VII alternate universe in which Helen is one of the freedom fighters

"Shelter from the Storm" - Another "What If" Helen was on Nixyce VII with Liv

"Absolution" - Eight, Liv and Helen revisit Nixyce VII and Liv tells Helen what happened to her there

"The Time-Traveller's Wife" - Helen meets a future version of Liv before she actually meets Eight and Liv in The Red Lady. So technically pre-canon

I would also say visit @meluisart AO3 page for more amazing fic and particularly their Knight!Liv/Princess!Helen AU for something not-canon-related!!

But honestly, there is so much amazing work out there, I could carry on for hours but sadly, I need to get to work now XD

You're in for such a treat with this fandom/ship, so much wonderful content to get through, no need to rush! If you're interested, I could also send you an invite to the Rare Pair Doctor Who Discord Server where there is a Liv/Helen channel and many lovely people to discuss their story with!!

Feel free to message at any time about anything, it brings me so much joy to share my love obsession with them with others! Can't wait to hear what you think of the other audios. Yes it's an expensive hobby but so worth it XD

Thank you for absolutely making my morning with this message!

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #47 (part one)

previously - Journal Entry #46 (part seven)

Victor

Hey, everyone.

So, it's been a while, and I'm not even sure where to start. Things have been... chaotic. I guess Yuri's been keeping you up to date, and I'm sure he's told you all about my accident and everything that's been happening since, so I won't go over that again. Living it once was enough, and I'm still having nightmares about it, so... yeah. I'm trying to keep my waking hours as free from it as I can.

I haven't felt like recording anything up to now. I mean, I obviously couldn't while I was in the hospital, but since I've been home again, I haven't had the mental stamina for it, or the physical stamina either, really. Being in pain is pretty exhausting, honestly. I think I probably already knew that from taking care of Yuri, but now I understand it from personal experience. I'm not used to feeling like crap and having hardly any energy, and it sucks.

I’m confident that my arms and rib are slowly getting better, and Mom says the bruises I had on my face and shoulder and down my side are totally gone, but I'm still having brutal headaches and I still can't see properly. Julian had to set up my phone for me so I could record this. If I'm not looking right into the camera, I'm sorry, and if I'm accidentally giving all of you like, a thousand-yard stare or something, I apologize for that too.

Sometimes I think my eyes are improving, but then I'll blink or I'll try to focus on something and it's just gone again. Mostly, everything's all blurry and indistinct, as if I'm looking through one of those frosted glass shower doors. It's frustrating because not only can I not play games on my Switch or text on my phone, I can't even do stuff that doesn't require major use of my hands and arms, like watching videos or practicing my reading or even picking out audio books by myself. I have to get help finding an audio book to listen to, or a movie. I basically have to listen to movies too, which is annoying.

When I'm not in too much pain, I get bored, and without being able to do anything to distract myself, all I can do is think. I don't like that. It's too scary and depressing, especially when I start worrying about whether my life really is going to get back to normal.

I realize it's only been a little over a week since my accident — this is Monday night and it happened a week ago Friday — so I shouldn't expect too much, too soon. The doctor did say it might take a few weeks or maybe up to a month for the worst of the symptoms to resolve, after all, and I might be dealing with some aftereffects for months. She said it was a grade 4 concussion, which is the most severe type because I was unconscious for more than a full minute, and she said I've got mild swelling of the brain. That's the explanation for the bad headaches and dizziness and of course the vision problems. I'm not supposed to be doing anything strenuous, or even remotely active, really. I'm not even allowed to climb the stairs by myself until the doctor clears me to do it. Not that I can actually climb the stairs by myself anyway, but you know.

Earlier today, Yuri's dad arranged an appointment for me with the oppthalmologist that he and Mrs. Okamoto, Yuri and Yuki all go to. Her name is Dr. Ishida, and she's going to see me this coming Friday. Exactly two weeks after the accident, if you're counting. I'm hoping she gives me better news than the ophthalmologist at the hospital did.

Yeah, you didn't hear that wrong. Mr. Okamoto arranged it. Yuri was going to do it himself, but he's actually sick right now and he's not up to making important phone calls. Like, he's sick enough for the hospital, if you ask me, but I think somebody would literally have to carry him out to the car to get him there.

Managing at home when he's this ill is not ideal in my opinion, but he says he doesn't want to go to the hospital because he doesn't want to leave me. I totally get that. I don't want us to be apart either, but I'm also freaking out because I can't take care of him like I usually do, and he's not comfortable with Mom or Julian doing what I normally would. Plus, they don't know everything they should be doing for him anyway, and it's super difficult for me to explain it.

All I can say is, thank goodness for Yuri's dad.

I know what you're likely thinking. Up to now, Yuri and his father have been on really bad terms and barely spoke to each other, and Mr. Okamoto hasn’t exactly been my biggest fan either, so why am I saying I’m grateful for him? Well, the thing is, he’s surprised us all during the last several days, and not in a negative way.

Let me try to explain.

Maybe people think Yuri’s not interested in a relationship with his dad, and I guess I wouldn’t blame anyone for believing that, considering how tense things were in the past. Yuri does actually want a relationship, but he and his dad are both so stubborn that once they started resenting each other for whatever real or imagined hurt they'd caused, neither one of them was willing to let go. I think Mr. Okamoto was more at fault than Yuri for the problems between them, mostly because he didn't know how to deal with Yuri not living up to his unreasonable expectations, but to be fair, you can't have a disagreement by yourself. Yuri isn't just an innocent victim of his dad's difficult personality and crappy communication skills. He had his own part to play.

But, since my accident, we're seeing a side of Mr. Okamoto that we've never seen before. It started with him coming to the hospital right after it happened, to sign consent forms, talk to the doctors and generally deal with stuff until Yuri could get there. Then, he stayed here with Yuri while I was in the hospital, which I was grateful for. I didn't like to think about him being alone. He said it was awkward, having his father here, but also kind of reassuring in a way.

I'm glad they both seem to be softening up, at least for the moment. Yuri really needs his dad in his life, and seeing Mr. Okamoto ready and willing to help us says something about how much has changed between them in a short time.

I want to be optimistic that things are going to get better between them going forward. Anyone who didn't know the whole story would probably be inclined to be positive in this situation, and maybe I should be too. I promise I'm trying, but knowing Mr. Okamoto, I have my doubts. He's not great at consistency and he hasn't shown much interest in the past, but I guess there's always a chance this time it'll be different. For Yuri's sake, I hope so, but I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Anyway, on Saturday night after dinner, Mr. Okamoto came over to get the stuff Hana left here that morning. Apparently, Yuri had called or texted him to pick it up because he didn't want her coming back here for it herself. I'm pretty sure nobody wanted her to come back, least of all me, so I was relieved when my father-in-law took the bags and made his exit.

I'm not sure I was quite so relieved when he returned about two hours later, with bags of his own, and with Yuki in tow.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was thrilled to see Yuki. I just didn’t know what to expect with her and her father planning to stay here.

When Yuki first saw me, she ran to me and hugged me so hard that I thought she might break a few more of my ribs. Then we both cried a veritable flood while she told me she loved me and that she was glad I was alive.

I hadn't realized she was at the hospital with my friends on the day of my accident, and my heart hurt when she told me how worried she'd been. Nobody would tell her anything, she said, and when she wasn’t allowed to see me, she’d feared the worst. I said I was sorry for saying I didn't want anyone to come and see me in the hospital, and she said she understood, but I wondered if she did. In hindsight, I should've agreed to let her visit. I might've felt better after a hug from my favourite local super spy and internet personality, Yuki Okamoto.

Yuki and her father haven’t left here since Saturday night. He brought the smallest shikibuton for Yuki, and of course a normal sized one for himself, and the two of them have set up camp in the laundry room, of all places. Mom and Julian are in my room, Yuri's in his own room, and of course I'm still in the dining room, so it was the only spot left.

Mr. Okamoto said he was here to help. Nobody questioned him, not even Yuri. Since then, he's been doing all kinds of things around the house, including cooking and baking, which he's good at, and housecleaning chores, which he's not good at. Most importantly, he's doing things for Yuri, like helping him in the bathroom, and making sure he stays as nourished and hydrated as possible. Mom said he even gave him a bath this morning, which in her words, "left the upstairs bathroom looking like a small tsunami went through."

While Mom mused aloud about how he could've gotten so much water everywhere and why there were so many wet towels, and complained about the disaster area he'd left behind, I laughed so hard it hurt. I was trying to picture it, and all I could think about was the time me and Ellie were babysitting her cousins, and the four-year-old decided he wanted to be a sea monster while in the bath. We even got water on the ceiling that day, although we never mentioned it to Ellie’s aunt and uncle. I guessed Yuri probably hadn’t been anywhere near as lively as that kid had been, and it was much less likely that he’d wanted to play a game and splash around for fun, so it left me curious about the mess, too.

Bathtime tsunami notwithstanding, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thankful for Mr. Okamoto's help right now. I doubt he's anywhere close to my standards when it comes to Yuri's care, but far be it from me to look this particular gift horse in the mouth. That he's even here at all is astounding, and the fact that he basically rolled up his sleeves and plunged into the current state of madness in our home is a super big deal.

On a connected and somewhat lighter note, I'm pretty sure Julian and Mr. Okamoto are besties now. Mom still seems a little cool toward him, but he and Julian have instantly bonded over their shared interests. They both play the piano, they both love art, and apparently Mr. Okamoto is as big a science fiction and fantasy nerd as Julian. Not gonna lie, listening to the two of them geek out over video games, role playing, Llama Man comics, and classic sci-fi B movies like It Came From Sixam and Day of the Plant Sims was kind of surreal.

It was highly entertaining, having an Uncle Kaz movie marathon with them on Sunday night. We watched some of Uncle Kaz's older Japanese-language films, with English subtitles, and me and Mr. Okamoto tried our best to help Julian understand the jokes. It was fun and felt weirdly comfortable, and by the end of it, my father-in-law and future stepfather were on a first-name basis. I'm not even allowed to call my father-in-law Kenji, so obviously Julian has made a great impression.

Wait... let me backtrack a bit. Like, a lot of stuff happened before the movie marathon, and it's way more important.

On Sunday, we all slept in. Once everybody except Yuri had finally gotten out of bed, Mr. Okamoto and Yuki made rice, eggs and grilled fish for breakfast, and it was so good. Mom had to feed most of my meal to me, but Yuki and I figured out a way for me to grip a spoon without using my thumb, so with her guidance, I was able to feed myself a bowl of rice. It was strange not using chopsticks, and I still feel embarrassed about getting help to eat, but I'm learning to accept it. It’s only temporary, and things could be a lot worse, right?

But, I digress.

After breakfast, Julian helped me upstairs so I could lie down and cuddle with Yuri for a while, and try to figure out just how ill he was. I knew it was serious the night before, when he didn’t come downstairs to share my mattress in the dining room, but I didn’t know the extent of it until I could see him and physically touch him.

To my dismay, it was way worse than I’d expected. He’d been unwell for a couple of weeks before my accident, and I realized he’d been declining, but this was really bad. It blew my mind how he’d managed to hide the true severity of his pain from me, but I reminded myself that I hadn’t exactly been in a fit state to notice every little nuance of his demeanour and body language like I normally would.

Obviously, he’d been forcing himself to do everything he thought he had to do instead of resting and taking care of himself, and by Saturday night his body didn’t have enough fight left in it. His immune system is weak at the best of times, and it’s like he’s constantly pushing through a state of nearly always being mildly unwell, but this had clearly been a headlong rush into a full-on crash. There was no way he hadn’t seen this coming, even if I hadn’t.

Once I was settled in bed with him, I let him lay on top of me the way he likes, even though it made my cracked rib hurt like hell. It was pointless to say anything or to try stopping him. He was so out of it, he probably didn't even realize what he was doing and just instinctively crawled onto me, seeking any bit of familiarity and human closeness he could find. I felt bad for him because even though I was in discomfort, I knew he was in far more pain than I was. I could feel heat radiating off his skin, and every time I moved even slightly, he whimpered.

I wished with every fibre of my being that I could make all his suffering disappear. I hated that he was so sick, and that it was at least partly my fault for not paying better attention to him and letting it get to this point without insisting that he needed rest and medical attention.

"This isn't good, Yuri," I told him, after I’d inadvertently shifted my weight, and he literally cried out from either the movement itself or the abrupt change of pressure against his stomach.

“Don’t… don’t do that,” he gasped. “Hurts. Gonna make me throw up.”

Normally, I might make a joke about him throwing up in bed, but this was not a laughing situation. “If you have to, tell me. I’ll yell for your dad.”

“Please… don’t.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. His tears were soaking through my t-shirt, and I felt helpless to comfort him. “Do you want to lay a different way? It might be less uncomfortable if you’re lying on your side or your back.”

“Wanna lie like this. With our whole bodies touching.”

“We can do that with you on your side,” I said. “You can be the little spoon.”

“Don’t wanna be the little spoon.” And to prove how adamant he was about it, he curled his fingers around a fistful of my shirt, as if daring me to pry him loose. I could feel his little hand trembling against my shoulder .

I rubbed small lines on his back with my fingertips. It felt inadequate, but it was all I could do with my arm in a cast. “Yuri,” I said. “Can you listen to me for a second?”

“Yeah,” was the weak reply.

"You need to see a doctor.”

“Don't want to.”

“You can’t go on like this. You need help, and you need to be somewhere where somebody can take care of you properly.”

"No..." He dragged out the single English syllable in a long whine before continuing in barely intelligible Japanese, "Want you to take care of me."

"I can't, sweet baby," I said. "I love you so much and I want to do everything for you, and I really I wish I could, but this is too much for either of us right now. You need to be where somebody can tend to you night and day, and I think you're gonna need medicine and intravenous fluids to help you get better."

"No," he repeated.

"Yes," I insisted. "Remember last time you were this sick? You needed fluids and antibiotics, and your doctor said the hospital was the best place for you."

"Don't want antibiotics. Make me feel worse."

"I know, but only for a short time. After that, you'll start feeling better a lot quicker. Let your dad take you to the hospital so you can get better?”

“No.”

“I’m worried about you, Yuri. Please.”

"Don't wanna be alone." he said.

"You wouldn't be alone. Me and Mom and Julian would all take turns staying with you. I think even your dad would. He's really stepped up lately, you know."

"Gotta tell him..." Yuri said, but then seemed to lose the thought, and mumbled something that sounded like, "My violin."

I smiled despite the circumstances. "You have to tell your dad about your violin? What about it?"

He let out a little grunt of frustration and tugged feebly at my shirt. "Victor!"

"I'm here."

"Listen."

"I'm listening, love."

"My violin case. Tell Papa..." He trailed off momentarily, as if he was trying to think of how to make the most impact with as few words as possible. "In my violin case. Look. It's important."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Thank you," he whispered. And then, "Love you. Just... wanna protect you."

"I know," I said. "I love you too."

"Please... tell Papa. Promise."

"I promise."

That satisfied him, and he let out a long, shaky breath that was half sigh and half moan. "Gonna sleep," he murmured. He was still clutching my shirt, but it didn't take long before I felt his fingers relax.

I lay awake, thinking. I couldn't imagine what would be in Yuri's violin case other than his violin, and why it'd be so important for his father to see it, but he was so insistent that I figured I'd better not ignore his request. Besides, I promised, and you guys know how I hate breaking promises, especially ones I've made to Yuri.

When I was sure he was sound asleep, I eased him off me as carefully as I could, and then climbed out of bed. It took me a second to orient myself, and then a few more seconds to crawl my way over to where Yuri usually keeps his violin case, on the floor next to his dresser. I could make out the shape of it, and to my surprise, the distinct shape of his violin on its stand next to it. He almost never leaves his violin out for long periods of time. I didn't know when he'd practiced last, but it definitely hadn't been since I got out of the hospital. He wouldn't have left it out since Thursday, so I guessed he must've taken it out sometime on Saturday.

But why?

Cursing my clumsy fingers, I fumbled with the latch of the case for a minute or two. I let out my breath when I finally got it open.

What I found inside was something I totally did not expect. It was a beige file folder stuffed with papers.

I didn't dare try to lift it out by myself, fearing that I'd end up spilling the contents all over the floor. I knew I wouldn't be able to read anything, but I had to soothe my curiosity anyway, so I hooked my fingers under the cover of the folder and flipped it open.

I'll admit, had no idea what to make of it when I thought I saw two passports inside. Why would Yuri have our passports in a folder like this? He’d said he wanted to protect me, but surely that didn’t include leaving the country? Neither of us were in any shape for that. I didn’t understand.

I probably would've panicked if my bruised brain hadn't suddenly registered the fact that both passports were red. The covers of Canadian passports are dark blue, so neither of these could've been mine, and if mine wasn't there then Yuri's wasn't either. Even if either of us could travel, he wouldn't go anywhere without me. I was sure of that.

But, that only begged the question, whose passports were they? And what was Yuri doing with them?

Obviously, it wasn't something he was trying to hide from me, or he wouldn't have directed me to them and asked me to tell his father. The thing was, there was no way in hell I was going to show anything to Mr. Okamoto until I knew what it was myself.

Since I couldn't read the papers, and I couldn't ask Yuri about them, I decided there was only one thing to do. I made my way the short distance back to the bed, and then felt around carefully on the nightstand to locate Yuri's phone. I was glad we'd activated voice dialling on both our phones a few days ago, as that was going to make my mission a whole lot easier.

I had to concentrate to remember how Yuri had listed my mother in his contacts, but once I got it, I said aloud into the silence of the room, "Hey, Siri. Call Dr. Grace."

Mom answered on the second ring, and she sounded both confused and worried. "Yuri? Is everything okay, sweetheart? Why are you calling me from upstairs?"

"Mom, it's me," I said. "Yuri's sleeping. Everything's pretty much as you'd expect, but... can you come up, please? I need your help with something important."

"What is it?" she asked.

"I'll show you in a minute. Please, just come up. I don’t want to tell you over the phone.”

That last sentence came out weird, like a line from a badly-scripted TV show, but I didn’t waste brainpower stressing over it. I had a feeling I’d need to save my mental energy to deal with whatever I was about to learn about the passports and Yuri’s folder full of mystery papers.

"Okay," Mom said. "Hang on. I'll be right there."

[nicotinzwei]

February

Hello, February was stressful but okay. The last months I picked a song to listen to parallel to reading but I literally didn’t listent to new songs this month.

Book

Krabat from 1971 is a short novel by Otfried Preußler based on an old sorbian story. It describes 3 years in Krabats life in which he originally wants a summer job at a mill but then accidentally does dark magic. The audio book is only 3 hours long, one for each year, and is on youtube for free. It’s narrated by the author who describes scary or fantastical moments is such a casual manner that sometimes makes me want to scream at him, but also really adds to the mood of the books and Krabats seemingly dead-end situation. After finishing I found out that they built some sort of themed area in the place the story is set. There you can find all sorts of fun attractions for kids like a haunted mill, places of deaths of the characters, a sunken carriage and a graveyard. You can also rent the location for company events or weddings so you already know what I’m gonna do.

Movie

This month I went to my first cult movie screening. I saw a very cleaned up version of Rocky Horror as a play before which was also filled with audience participation but seeing The Room in a small old Viennese theatre with drunk students for its 20th anniversary was just so much better. I love the concept of audience participation and am kind of sad so few movies got the cult status needed for it. For this movie there are a bunch of callbacks pointing out weird details, famous lines you can quote, props like spoons or footballs you can throw or you can just scream at the characters for being so fucking stupid. Some people even came in a suit. I think after like two decades of going to the cinema this was my favorite experience. In an age of Netflix I really think this is how you keep cinema and communal watching alive.

Game and Videos

A double feature category! I started playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons again. I already had like 300 hours in this game and thought I was through with it, but then I started watching the Amanda Files and she got me hooked. The first video of her I saw she visited some horror themed island and described the plot of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 in her valley girl voice and it’s the funniest thing I ever heard. She could talk about literally anything for 2 hours and I would listen to her while playing animal crossing.

Website

I didn’t know what to call the category because it’s not really about the website but more about the concept of buying second hand directly from people. The vintage fashion thing got so big over the last few years that especially in Vienna second hand stores are selling the stuff so overpriced that even if you only do it for environmental reasons you just can’t afford it anymore. But after I got two harmonicas second hand earlier this year I really started looking through willhaben religiously. This month I picked up a table only like 4 minutes away for 20€ and two days later I sold my old one for the same amount. If you live in an area where a lot of people are using it and you have a friend to carry stuff this is such a cool opportunity to basically just swap your stuff for free if you play your cards right. Now every few weeks on my lunch break I go somewhere, pick up a picture for 3€ and get in a little walk. Highly recommend it!