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vicocaaisha · 8 months ago

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All Mine

Baek Harin x Reader Fic.

Sypnosis: Having friends is not your top priority; therefore, you kept rejecting Harin's advances. Not until she got jealous when you found yourself a new friend.

Warnings: SMUT, mature scenes, choking, virgin!reader, possesive!Harin, bottom!reader, top!harin, stalking, read at your own risk!

Requested by: @imurcherie1

“Y/N-ah, do you want to hang out later after school?”

“Harin wants us to eat later together at lunch, can you sit with us?”

“Can you join our group for the school project? We can do it after school!”

“Hey, Y/N, can you teach me how to play chess? Help me beat Harin!”

Typical Wooyi, always asking you for help. You think it’s just an excuse to make you hang out or spend time together with Harin, which for you is a waste of time because you have other things you want to do than doing friendly stuff that you’re not interested in.

“Sorry, unnie. I have other things to do! Maybe next time.” is the response you always answer to Wooyi.

You sometimes wish that you are in the lower grade, like in grade C so that no one won’t bother you and leave you alone. Being family friends with Harin means you’re also powerful inside your classroom, that’s why your classmates are always clinging to your side because they think that you’ll favour them or something.

But you didn’t care. All you care about is your studies, not the recognitions but the information you learn. Such a nerd thing to say but deep inside you really love studying, learning so many topics fascinates you.

You are smarter than Doah, but you don’t even participate in school competitions. You’re just focused on gaining skills.

“You look pretty having your hair up in a bun, Y/N” Harin greeted you.

“Yes, you do! Can you teach me how to do that later at lunch, please, Y/N.” Wooyi practically begged.

Here we go again, Harin’s group always bothers you to join them during lunch. You don’t have an interest in being friends with them even though your families are good friends. You’re just not that fond of being friends with someone, you like being alone more. Plus, Wooyi enjoys to torture your classmate, which is like a redflag to you because how can you enjoy on tormenting someone?

“I’m sorry, guys. I actually have a thesis report that I’m finishing. You know, I make money doing these things for other students.” You replied.

Harin only scoffed and started to walk away from you. She knows that you’ll just reject their invitation to hang out with them. Harin can’t do anything about it. She can’t blackmail you into being friends with her because there’s nothing hideous about you or even a secret.

Harin could only stare at you from afar. She likes you– no–, she wants you to be hers.

She’s so glad that you being preoccupied with your hobbies means you’re less aware of what's happening in your surroundings. Harin could easily stalk you and you won’t even notice that some of your things from your room are missing.

“I read somewhere that the new season of Jujutsu Kaisen is airing next week.” Jaeun said as she sat beside you.

How did she find you? You’re sitting under a tree that’s far away from your classroom’s building.

“How do you even know I watch that?” You scoffed as you read your book. Does she need something? She’s usually on her own or with Suji. What does she want now?

“Oh, you don’t? I was actually giving this Geto plushie for free.” Jaeun waved the plushie doll on your face.

“Oh my! He’s my favourite!” You were shocked, you can’t find any Jujutsu Kaisen merchandise here in South Korea, and Geto is your favourite, “Can I have it, please? Where’d you get this?” you asked as you grabbed the plushie.

“Oh, umm…” Jauen was stammering. She didn't know how to handle this kind of situation. She’s scared that she might fuck it up after having your attention.

“He’s so cute! What do you want in return, can I please have him?” You begged her. This is the first time that your classmate sees that you’re capable of showing feelings, too.

“O-of course, uhh… I just want to be friends with you, can you join me during lunch?” You were too happy from the plushie you received that you accepted her offer without thinking about it.

And that’s how you ended up being with Jaeun. She always follows you around and you were too happy that one of your classmates watches your favourite anime. When you’re with her, you are too talkative about your favourite anime, Jauen doesn’t care though; she’s satisfied that she finally is on your good side.

Harin noticed that you finally are friends with someone, and that someone is the person who she despised the most. She was angry, she wanted to harm Jaeun but it’s impossible because of Suji always rescues Jaeun whenever she corners the tall girl.

Jaeun introduced you to Suji and Se-eun. You were awkward when you met them, you don’t really like social gatherings; you can only handle one person at a time.

So here you are, on the rooftop with them. Suji introduced you to their plan once they figured that you’re trusty enough. You rejected their proposal though.

“Sorry, Suji. I don’t have an interest in being a hero here. I know, call me selfish or whatever. Do you know who you’re provoking?” You asked them genuinely.

Suji still tried to convince you. You just rejected it again and excused yourself. Do they know what they’re doing? Are they high? Harin is so dangerous. Even if you want to end this game yourself, deep inside you still value Harin.

You’ve known Harin ever since the both of you were younger. You secretly had a crush on her, when you saw her performing a dance. You were in a trance, you befriended her. You thought at first you wanted to be just like her but as your friendship progresses, your feelings also progresses. You tried to ignore it but can’t help it.

Although, as the both of you were growing older, she started to change. Sometimes you think that she turned into a monster but still, you cared for her so much even if you don’t show it.

You wanted to be away from her because you realized being in love with a girl is rather unusual. You’re scared that she might notice that you’re in love with her and betray you. Harin is unpredictable, you’ve seen it yourself.

“Y/N!” Wooyi runs into you as she sees you walking down the corridor.

“Wooyi, I’m sorry, but I’m not in the mood right now. My head aches so badly.” You tried to make an excuse before she could ask another invitation to hang out with them.

You tried to walk faster, “The chairman wants to talk to you right now, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Wooyi said as she tried to catch up with your fast pace.

“What? She could have texted me beforehand. She has my number, ugh. I don’t even look presentable right now.” You mumbled to yourself, Wooyi seemed to hear that.

“Oh, don’t humble yourself. You’re always pretty! You should spray some perfume, bet she’ll go crazy over you!” Wooyi said, which she regretted saying afterwards because it confused you. The chairman going crazy over your perfume?

“Oh, I’ll head to the classroom now. Gotta find them bootlickers!” Wooyi suddenly parted ways, you didn’t even get the chance to ask what she was talking about.

You sighed. Usually if the chairman, Harin’s mother, wants to meet you, she’ll schedule a meeting or she’ll text you and your parents about it. Also, you never had a meeting inside the school because she said once that it feels unprofessional meeting inside the school. What could be the problem now?

You are now in front of the chairman’s office, spraying perfume over your uniform. You took a big breath before opening the door, you were nervous that you might be in trouble, especially after hearing Suji’s crazy plan.

“Hello, Mrs. Baek. I’m sorry if I took too long, I was at the–” you stopped what you were trying to say when Harin revealed herself by turning around her chair.

“Uhm… Where’s your mother, Harin? She asked for me, didn’t she?” You tried to ask to make the awkward atmosphere out of the room.

“That would be for another time, Y/N-ah.” Harin said and stood up from her chair; walking towards you.

“You’re smoking again, I told you that’s not good for you.” You tried to lecture Harin. You are now currently in the middle of the room.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.” Harin said as she took another puff of her cig and she continued walking after passing you. Where is she going?

“Okay then, I better get going now if your mother is not here.” You rolled your eyes.

You heard a click. Harin locked the door behind you, trapping you inside the chairman’s office.

You began to feel nervous, you haven’t been in a room alone with Harin for the longest time. You tried to avoid this kind of encounter because you can’t contain your feelings. When talking with Harin alone, you will start to stutter.

“I wanted you here.” Harin dropped her cigarette and stepped on it. She’s aware that you dislike the smell of cigarette.

“Ohh, can we make it faster, please?” You were trying your best not to stutter because she’ll sense that you’re nervous.

“Enjoying being friends with Jaeun?” Harin started to walk towards you, which made you walk backwards as well. You were like a prey in her eyes, anytime she might devour you.

Oh shit. You thought to yourself. You forgot that Jaeun and Harin had a history before, she talked to you about this before! How could you forget it! It’s because of that damn plushie, you got too excited over that.

“H-harin, I’m so sorry. I forgot, I’m really sorry. It’s because she gave me the plushie, I got too distracted over that. I don’t mean to offend you, I swear–” You stopped your rumbling when your back hit the table. She got you very cornered this time.

You didn’t have the space anymore to move back and she still is walking forward slowly as if she’s stalking a prey. You’re very scared now, hell, you even are sweating too much for your liking. Note that this room is air conditioned.

Harin giggled to herself, “Y/N, why are you trembling so hard?”

She is now in front of you.

She tugged on your school necktie, which made you lean towards her. Since she is taller, you are looking up at her.

“Tell me, Y/N. Whom do you like to kiss?” She’s taunting you and all you could do is look at her doe eyes.

“Do you like Jaeun?” She asked you with a mischievous smile.

“I don’t like her, I don’t even have an i-interest to date a-anyone.” You stuttered, fuck you really are nervous.

“You’re lying, Y/N/N.” That nickname she used to call you when the both of you were younger.

“You’re stuttering, Y/N, it means you’re lying. Which one is it, hmm?” Her face is inches away from yours. Even if you haven't talked to her for years, she still knows your mannerisms.

Before you could even reply, she suddenly kissed you.

It felt passionate for a short time, not until she bit your lip that caused you to whimper and she immediately inserted her tongue. Did she practice with other girls before? How come is she so good with kissing? You felt jealous...

Your thoughts got cut off short when she stopped kissing you and started to undo your blouse.

“Harin, we s-shouldn’t be doing this.” She got tired of your mindless comments, so Harin pulled your necktie tighter that made you choke.

“Did I tell you to talk?” Harin only smiled when she saw you struggling. You were just gripping her clothes and whimpering because of the restriction of the air in your lungs.

Once she was satisfied, she stopped pulling your necktie and continued removing the articles of your clothes.

You were now left in your school blouse that is open, and your skirt; no bra nor panty. You suddenly felt insecure about your body when Harin was staring at your body up and down. Your first instinct was to cover up your body, but Harin beat you to it and held your wrists before you could even move them.

“H-harin” You can’t understand what’s happening between the two of you. Is she toying you?

“Stop talking, Y/N! God, you made me wait for so long, and then Jaeun easily caught your attention?!” Harin felt insatiable over you.

She then started kissing your neck, leaving marks all over your neck. You can’t even move and too scared to protest but deep inside you’re really liking this.

“You’re mine, Y/N/N.” Harin whispered, hunger laced on her voice.

“Hnng–, H-harin!” You yelped when you felt Harin’s long, slim fingers toy your clit.

Yes, you’ve touched yourself before but Harin massaging your clit felt so amazing. You can’t contain your moans anymore. You tried to shush yourself by putting your free arm on your mouth. Harin noticed this and…

She inserted two fingers, you aren’t ready for it, and it’s definitely your first time. It hurts like hell. You were struggling below her, and all you could do was to let out a shameless moan.

“A-hh, it hurts. It hurts, Ha-rin! Hnng!” She only removed your arms that were blocking your mouth and continued fingering you even if you're hurting.

Pain soon starts to feel pleasure soon enough. Harin is still putting hickeys on your chest area. She then started to look at your face, your fucked up face. Looking at you with adoration, you look so good even if you’re being fucked, Harin thought to herself.

“Baby, you look so good.” Harin whispered seductively, she couldn’t even explain how turned on she is right now. The stoic and nerdy, L/N Y/N, is being fucked out like this.

“You’re mine, Y/N. I don’t want you seeing anybody but me, you get that?” Harin starts to get rougher on you, hitting that one spot makes you struggle to respond to her. Because of that, she slapped you, thinking to herself that it might knock you to your senses.

“Mhhmm– sorry! Ahh– Fuck!” was all you could blur out during that time.

Harin only chuckled as she pressed down her thumb to your clit. Fingering you and massaging your clit at the same time feels like you’re going to climax soon.

“I f–eel, ahh! Like I’m gonna p–EE!” You gripped onto her shirt more.

“Say you’re mine, Y/N, then you can let go.” Harin teased you. She then started to suck on your breasts, which added to your stimulation more.

“I’m y–yours! Harin–nng. I lov–e you for so long, Fuck!” You didn’t even realize that you accidentally confessed your love towards her because of the pleasure you are feeling. Harin felt over the moon when she heard your confession, which drove her even more very crazy and continued to get rougher on you.

As you trembled against her holds, you couldn't contain yourself anymore; you tried to let go of the pressure you were feeling, and instead, you squirted.

Harin continued to finger you until you rode out your high. You didn’t even realize the mess you created on her uniform because you were still trying to calm down. So many thoughts were running to your mind that time and one of those is that you just fucked your long time crush.

“Baby, are you okay?” Harin asked you with softness evident in her voice. She brushed your baby hairs out of your face with her dry hand. You look so exhausted, and your face is very flushed. You just nodded weakly, too tired to say anything.

You were laid against the table, and Harin decided to take you on the couch so that you could rest comfortably. You’re too tired to even care about your appearance at that time. You just let Harin help you wear your panty and your bra.

Maybe you could rest for a bit, so you decided to close your eyes.

“I love you.” Harin whispered as she was doing after care to you. She must have thought you were asleep.

“You do?”

“Yes, so much. I was trying so hard to reconnect our friendship again.” Harin kissed you passionately and with love this time.

“You’re wet?” You asked sheepishly as you felt her clothes.

“Oh, you squirted.” Harin smiled at you.

“What? No, I did not!” Harin laughed at your response. You’re still stubborn as you were before when both of you were younger. Harin only stared at you blankly. You can’t seem to read what her thoughts are, so you decided to break the awkward silence.

“So, is Mrs. Baek really asking for me?” You asked.

“No, it’s my last resort,” she confessed, “I can’t seem to get you all alone for myself, why are you avoiding me?” Harin asked you as she caressed your face.

You avoided her gaze, “It’s because… I’m scared that I have feelings for you, more than friends.”

There was silence again, when you looked up at her, she looked as if she were in a daze; lost in your beautiness. She was still caressing your face that time. You leaned up and kissed her with all the strength you had. The both of you kissed that you felt like it lasted for hours.

You stopped kissing her because it might lead the both of you to another round, and you still have classes to attend to.

You are fixing yourself, trying to look presentable after Harin fucked you out. Hickeys all over your neck, your hair is tangled mess, your clothes crumpled. Suddenly, Harin hugged you from your back, and you felt the wet spot on her clothes.

“Harin, go change your clothes. It’s disgusting!” You tried to wiggle out of her embrace and then laugh when she kissed your neck.

“It’s your fault, you peed on me!” Harin protested.

Let’s just say she never lived that day down when you squirted and always teased you that you peed on her.

I've read your requests. Sorry if I didn't get to reply, but I'll be working on those soon!

I'll also go back to school tomorrow, so it might take me a while to post again. Sorry!

If you have any requests, dont hesitate to send them^^

#baek harin #jang daah #pyramid game #pyramid game x reader #baek harin x reader #myung jaeun #jang daah x reader

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trippinsorrows · 2 months ago

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looking through your eyes + seventeen

authors note: this chapter covers the aftermath of solana's attempt in the previous chapter. please heed to content warnings in order to make an informed decision regarding reading this chapter.

i'm going to handle solana's experience in the hospital as realistically as i can, but there are creative liberties taken as well. and don't come for me for the ending either. :/

cw/tw: angst, discussion and coverage of the aftermath of a suicide attempt, mental health discussions.

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 15k

Roman has a long to-do list. He always does and always will. But, this is by far one of the last things he wants to do.

He’s going on 24 hours of no sleep, which isn’t the first time he’s done as such, but it’s the first time he’s done as such and actually felt the impact of the sleep deprivation. And truth be told, deep down he knows the exhaustion that he feels is more mental than anything.

It’s the result of the toll that finding out Solana tried to kill herself has taken on him.

Is taking on him.

But, he can’t deal with that shit right now. He can’t deal with it because he’s got his Wise Man, Rikishi, Solo, Jimmy and Jey all sitting around him, wearing various levels of confused expressions. Which only irritates Roman more because Rikishi and Paul are the only ones who should be confused. The twins have been with him dealing with all of the shit the past 24 hours.

Solo too.

Rikishi is the first to speak, studying Roman. The Tribal Chief is more than sure he noticed the grimace on Roman’s face as he went to roll his shoulders, remembering yet again of the wound that probably won’t heal as quickly as predicted given the fact he’s done the complete opposite of ‘taking it easy.’

“You gonna tell us what happened or—”

“There was an assassination attempt on Solana’s life last night.” Roman’s sentence is matter-of-fact and to the point, nevermind the fact that his right hand forms into a fist at just saying as such.

Rikishi and Paul share shocked expressions, Roman’s older cousin being the one to ask, “is she—”

“Bullet hit me instead. Didn’t lodge. I’ll be fine.” Roman only adds that last part because of the horrified look on Paul’s face, already knowing his Wise Man will bombard him with questions about his injury. “Xavier Miller and his boy were behind the attempt. I’m handling them now.”

“But sir, why would Miller want his own daughter dead?”

Roman closes his eyes and rolls his neck, working to settle his rising temper. He hates talking about this shit. It only spikes his eagerness to get his hands on Miller and rip him apart limb by limb. “Because she didn’t go along with his plan.”

Rikishi speaks up again. “Plan?”

Roman’s jaw clenches. “He wanted her to kill me.”

The rest of the men look equally shocked, Paul gasping loudly, asking, “she’s a traitor?”

If looks could kill, Paul would be six feet under. Roman has to mentally restrain from acting out on his suddenly murderous urges. “She’s my wife.”

Rikishi, however, seemingly tosses his longtime friend a lifeline, trying to reason with his younger cousin. “Uce, that doesn’t mean she can’t be both—”

“What I’m hearing….” Solo surprises the men around the table as he sits forward. “—is that she can’t be trusted.”

Roman isn’t sure just how much of his anger and rage at the accusations being slung against Solana is showing, his Solana, but it must be enough for the twins, of all people, to try and de-escalate.

“Come on now, this is Soso we talking about.” Jimmy is the first to kick off peacemaking. He looks at his father, “pops, you was there when we first met her. She was nervous as shit. Ain’t nothing about that girl dangerous.”

Jey chimes in, handling Solo. “And you of all people should definitely know that’s not Solana. She would never hurt nobody, let alone kill nobody.”

Solo, however, simply scoffs. “Like she ain’t hurt her brother?”

“What was she supposed to do? Let him beat her?” Jimmy is the one to snap, shouting back with a suck of his teeth, “man, that bitch deserved it!”

Rikishi jumps in, defending his younger son. “I think what Solo is trying to say is that it proves she is, in fact, capable of hurting someone if she wanted to.”

“Why would she want to hurt Roman? That don’t even make no—”

“Enough!” Roman’s fist slams down on the table. “The next person to say one more negative thing about my wife is getting a bullet in their fucking skull.” There’s a blanket of silence, all of the men knowing that Roman would absolutely carry through on this threat. A promise, really.

Roman swallows, both from anger and something else he can’t pinpoint. “Solana tried to kill herself last night. What in the fuck about that presents a danger?” He doesn’t care enough to observe the reactions of that news. Doesn’t give a fuck. “The only person she’s a danger to is herself.”

Paul is the brave soul, or perhaps just stupidly and naively asking, “is she—okay?”

“I said tried, didn’t I?” Roman snaps, forcing the pudgy man to recoil back in his seat. Roman clenches his jaw yet again, directing his statement to the next older man. “Rikishi.” He runs a hand over his face. “Meet with the Elders. Tell them about the assassination attempt. That it was Miller. Nothing about the plan. And leave it at that.”

Rikishi removes his glasses, sitting up at the table. “Roman, the Elders should know—”

“The Elders know what I want them to know, and I want them to know that someone tried to kill my wife, and I’m handling it. That’s it.” Incapable of dealing with any more of this shit, Roman stands up from the chair, turning his back on the rest of his family. “Wise Man, let’s go.”

The obese man also shoots up from the chair, nearly tripping over his feet as he wordlessly follows Roman out of the room.

Left alone is just Rikishi and his sons, the patriarch asking, “she tried to kill herself?”

Jimmy and Jey wear similar frowns, recalling the horrific truth they learned about their ‘Soso’ just hours prior. Jimmy shuts his eyes, unable to push away the memory of a hysterical Naomi throwing herself into his chest at the memory of finding Solana unconscious.

“It’s….it’s a long story,” Jey answers in a low voice, wanting to be respectful. Aware or not, Solana’s story is hers to tell and hers only.

Truthfully, he’s slightly surprised Roman even disclosed that part of the past 24 hours.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of the story that Roman left out,” Solo suddenly finds his voice again, sharing directly to his father and brothers. “Like the fact that Roman took that bullet for her.”

“What?” Riksihi asks, shock stamped all over his voice.

“I was right there. I saw the whole thing. He pushed her out the way.”

Jimmy shrugs. “He protected his wife. What’s wrong with that? We all would have done the same.”

Jey nods in agreement. Rikishi looks torn.

Solo continues, pointing out. “But, Roman ain’t like us. He’s the Tribal Chief. He needs to act like it.”

“Careful, son,” Rikishi cautions, seemingly breaking from his conflicted state. “Your Uce sits at the head of the table for a reason. His ways may be unorthodox at times, but his reign won’t be questioned. We won’t disrespect him.”

Solo scoffs. “But you’ll disrespect the other Elders by lying for him?”

Jey jumps in, chiding, “man, what’s up with you tonight?”

Solo scoffs, pointing to himself. “Me? I’m not the one whose judgment is clouded. We all know if this was one of us and the roles were reversed with our wives, Roman would want them executed. He’s not thinking straight.” Solo looks around the room, noticing there’s a brief second of silence. “Ya’ll see it too. I’m just the only one who’s willing to say it. Roman is losing focus—”

“That’s enough, Solo.” Rikishi raises his voice, firmer, that of a father. “You’re out of line, son.”

Solo looks around the room, halfway waiting for his older brothers to jump to his defense, to agree with what they have to know is the truth. But, when that doesn’t happen, he also shoots up from the table, rocking it in the process, leaving the room without another word.

Once gone, Jimmy motions with his thumb. “Man, he is tripping.” He shakes his head, asking his father, “you want us to talk to him?”

“No.” Rikishi answers almost immediately, sighing heavily, running his hand over his face. “I’ll do it….you all just….watch Roman.” He stands up, as Jey mutters something about having the hard job. “And sons….this conversation doesn’t leave this room, understood?” Jimmy and Jey look slightly confused and taken back, Rikishi explaining, “I know you’re both closer with Roman. But, he’s just your cousin. Solo is your brother. He’s definitely tripping, but he’s still your family too, and there’s nothing more important than brotherhood, alright?”

________

Roman awakens with a heavy sigh that’s followed by his eyes closing.

His sleep has been shit the past few days, and it’s been solely because his bed is cold and empty on the other side. Because he’s sleeping alone, something he once cherished but now can barely tolerate. He didn’t realize just how much he enjoyed Solana’s soft body pressed up against him, the satisfaction he felt waking up to her every morning.

Now, he just awakens to silence or the sound of Dulce whimpering or barking.

Dulce’s whimpers on the side of the bed remind him of the fact that she’s still sleeping in his room. In their room. On Solana’s side.

Her empty side.

Moving the blankets off, Roman swings his big body over the side of the bed and walks over to motion for her to follow him. “Come on.”

He knows she has to empty her bladder, but he’s grateful for a reason to leave the space that reeks of Solana, a constant reminder of her absence.

It’s….an experience, to say the least.

Picking her up, he carries her down the steps, through the house, and out the back sliding door by the kitchen. Roman places her in the grass, letting her do her business as he goes to sit down on the edge of one of the chaise lounge.

He closes his eyes.

Love.

Suck a weird fucking thing. Something he’s never really understood.

Or felt.

Not….not in this aspect at least.

He’s always been confounded by the emotion that makes people act so outside of their character, clouds their judgment, and seizes their brain in crippling ways. He never saw the appeal in it. Never wanted it.

And then came Solana.

If someone had told him four months ago that he’d not only be married to a woman he actually cares about let alone would end up loving, he’d probably knock them flat on their ass. Harshly criticize their stupidity at the very least.

Falling in love with Solana was never the plan. He never wanted this for himself. He just needed to marry to create an official heir. And that was it. She would do her thing, taking care of the kid and whatnot. And he would still do him, continuing his life of commitment free sexual relations with whoever was his flavor of the week. Or day.

And yet all of that, just the thought of it, sours his expression.

He doesn’t want anyone other than Solana. Doesn’t desire to be intimate with anyone other than her. It’s her he wants to wake up to every morning, her he wants to make happy. He just wants her. Nobody else.

Because he loves her.

And it’s a shocking, life changing realization he finally stumbled into while sitting at her hospital bed. An epiphany he’s certain was heavily transitioned from subconscious to conscious given the events that transpired that night.

She almost died, was almost shot, and there’s not a fucking part of him would do anything differently. He’d take that bullet and any other bullet for her anytime.

Because he loves her.

He stood between her and her piece of shit father, not thinking twice about it, only knowing that decision would forever negatively change her life. Thinking how he promised her he would never let her end up in that position.

Because he loves her.

And he sat at her hospital bed, holding her hand, pouring his heart out to her because the second those infamous words left Jey’s mouth, his world nearly collapsed. He couldn’t think straight as he rushed to the hospital, uncaring and uninterested in anything except being with her, holding her, catering to her. Whatever she needed. He just needs her to be okay.

Because he loves her.

Roman’s head tilts back, the weight of all this lying on his chest.

He can’t deny it. Can’t deny he loves her. Not to himself, at least. He just doesn’t know what the fuck to do about it.

There’s…..there’s no room for love in his life. No place for it. Love is weakness, and Roman has never and can never be weak. He’s the Tribal Chief. The Head of the Table. The leader of the Bloodline and Cosa Nostra. There is no space for weakness.

Or love.

And yet….it’s there.

It’s there for her.

Dulce walking over to the chaise lounge that Roman realizes is usually the one she sits on when she’s writing brings him back to the sadness that creeps in at her absence. Dulce must feel the same as she lays down, ears also down, whimpering.

Roman beckons her over, watching as she slowly walks over to his feet, ears still down as he picks her up and places her on his lap. It’s something not even a week ago he would probably do. But, that was then, and this is now.

And now, he almost feels a sense of duty to Solana’s puppy.

Because it’s this same puppy, he’s learned, that barked nonstop at Bayley and Naomi, running over to Solana and starting to cry, effectively alerting them that something was wrong.

Very wrong.

With an uncharacteristic level of emotion, Roman gently strokes the top of her head. “You saved her life….” For his own mental sanity, Roman chooses not to think about what the alternative could have been. What his reality would be if this small, five pound animal didn’t have such a close, protective bond to her human. “Thank you.”

Dulce whimpers in response, laying her body on his lap, staring at the empty pool chair.

Roman sighs, eyes shutting again.

The emotion is undeniable as he acknowledges in a soft voice. “I miss her too..”

This shit is much harder than he realized.

________

Roman: How are you doing?

Solana glances at her lock screen at hearing the familiar, personalized notification sound. The sound she set specifically for texts from her husband. Her smile is already set on her face but settles into something deeper as another message slides in.

Roman: Do you need me to come home?

Placing the pencil down on the nearest surface, she swaps out her task at hand for a brief break to respond to the question she anticipated would be proposed at some point in the day.

Just not this soon, perhaps.

Solana wipes one hand on her shorts, the other unlocking her phone to open his thread. Preparing to reply, her gaze shifts over to her sweet baby boy, sleeping peacefully in his infant pillow. Low, relaxing music plays from her Alexa on the nightstand, lulling and keeping him in his slumber. Similarly, Dulce lays peacefully in her bed on Solana’s side of the bed, curled into a little ball.

The smile somehow grows deeper.

Solana: I’m okay. You don’t need to come home, really.

Solana quickly snaps a photo of the baby and includes it with her next message.

Solana: We’re good. :)

Solana brings her finger to gently caress her son’s cheek. He has such a calm disposition about him. Even at 6 weeks. She can just see he’s taken on more of her demeanor than his dad’s. Granted, she also noticed the same thing about her oldest twin, only for her to gradually be morphing into the female version of her father.

Roman hearting the photo captures her attention once again followed by his reply, which seems to be the result of long distance mind reading.

Roman: He’s been a lot easier than the girls were. But, time will tell.

Roman: Where are they?

She giggles, imagining his elongated sigh as he considers what could be in store for them once their son starts to get bigger and older. Can move around and get into things with his sisters. It’s more likely than not bound to happen.

Solana: In their playrooms. They’ve been surprisingly quiet too….for now. Lol

Solana knows her girls well enough to know silence with them, mostly when they’re together, isn’t usually long lived. The quieter of the two is very much like Solana, able to stay and keep to herself just fine without making much or any noise. Her sister, however, older by 6 minutes exactly, is not.

She is rambunctious and loud and loves to be moving. And when they’re together, that adventurous nature rubs off on Solana’s twin, usually resulting in them getting into something. More often than not.

Roman: I talked to them last night. Reminded them it's important they listen and help you out.

This is something she already knew, having overheard as he put them to bed while she catered to their newborn. He’s done that a lot since the birth of their son. Really taken over as much as he can with helping the girls, when it’s something he can do. And if he can’t do it, like them wanting to do art with her or bake something, usually the youngest vs the oldest, he’s on baby duty.

Whether he realizes it or not, he truly is great at being a dad. Though something tells her, always has, that even three kids deep, he struggles with that insecurity at not being good at it.

Not being good enough.

Roman: I still think it was too early for me to come back to work and leave you alone with everything.

And there it is. What Solana already knew he was thinking but is happy to see him finally admit. Roman’s been working from home the past six weeks, since the birth of their son. And while she’s appreciated having him home, helping her out with managing their growing family, it was time for him to return back to the ‘office.’

She knows he worries about her, worries about her feeling overwhelmed, but she’s been good the past few years with being open with him. That hasn’t and won’t change.

Solana: You were going to have to go back eventually, Ro. I’m okay, really. The girls really don’t cause me any issues. And he’s easy.

Solana: Outside of when he’s groping and squeezing the mess out of my breast. 😅

Breastfeeding has never been much of an issue for Solana. And, while it was definitely a bit of a challenge breastfeeding twins, there was never a pressing enough problem for her to not consider doing the same for her third child.

Granted, unlike the girls who, at most, felt around her breast while getting their fill, her son is more handsy. His little palms often slapping, squeezing and even scratching with his nails she makes sure to try to keep cut low.

She chuckles, thinking about how this could very much be another small sign she’s in store for yet another energetic child. It lines up though. Even when he’s sleepy, little scowl on his face, she sees Roman. In all of the children, really. But with him, the way his little lips dip and light eyebrows cave into a look of unmistakable disapproval, usually when she takes too long to pick him up or feed him, that’s all Roman.

Roman: Smart kid.

She giggles, sending out a reply that’s a result of years of growing more comfortable with teetering the lines of risque topics and innuendos.

Solana: Your kid, clearly. 😅

Roman: Damn straight.

Chewing on her bottom lip, she keeps the conversation going with another risky text.

Solana: Just two more weeks until I’m….cleared.

Over the years, and as she’s continued to heal, Solana has found herself with a sexual appetite that’s nowhere near her husband’s nor most women her age, but it’s there. Coming and going. Ebbing and flowing. And lately, it’s been on the flowing side.

Roman: We should wait longer.

Roman: I’m not taking any risks.

She sighs at his reply that’s not entirely unsurprising. He absolutely would want to go past the recommended 8 weeks that she was told by her doctor that they would need to wait to resume intimacy. An extended period of time than the usual 6 weeks due to the second degree tear she sustained while birthing her third child. A thing that can happen during childbirth and wasn’t anything too serious, but something she knows her husband sees as just that.

Thus him wanting to not ‘take any risks.’

Solana: I understand.

Understanding is different from agreeing, but she won’t push him on it.

Solana: Besides, don’t want to risk another baby.

Solana: Just yet anyway….

Having this conversation over text probably isn’t the way to go, but she has no doubt he’ll talk with her about it more in person when he comes home tonight, after all three kids are down for bed.

That doesn’t mean they can’t start it now, at least, though.

Roman: Seriously? You really want another baby?

Roman: He isn’t even a year yet.

Roman: You forget I’m 10 years older than you. I’m getting too old for all these kids, Solana.

It’s true they just welcomed their baby boy not even two months ago. And Roman is aging. He’s older, the gray in his beard spreading by the day, but he’s still just as active and fit into his forties as he was when they met years prior. Thus, he’s exaggerating.

Solana: No, you’re not.

Solana: And that wasn’t a no…..

His reply comes in a bit quicker than she was anticipating.

Roman: It wasn’t.

She smiles. Solana has learned her husband well over the years. Knows him well enough to know that if there wasn’t a part of him also interested in maybe having another child, he would be clear about his standpoint. He would express his disagreement.

So his comment would suggest he’s not team no. That he’s open, and his following texts confirm as such.

Roman: But, this would be it. Four is more than enough.

She smiles, knowing that this definitely will still be discussed in person tonight but happy that he’s unwilling to deny himself. Solana’s love for him has only deepened since seeing him step into the role of fatherhood.

She just wishes she could get him to see how good he is at this. The girls wouldn’t adore him as much as they do if he was bad at it, per se.

But, he’s not.

If only he could see it.

Solana: Unless we get another set of twins….😅

Roman: Jesus Christ

Solana giggles, imagining the look he must have on his face. Probably similar to when they found out about the girls. She wasn’t entirely surprised given how strongly twins run on his side of the family.

But, he most certainly was.

A quiet knock pulls her from the conversation as she lays her eyes on the twins who are waiting by the door with hesitant expressions. She waves them over, placing her finger over her mouth to remind them to be quiet to avoid waking up the still sleeping baby.

They tip toe over to her, moving to her side of the bed, leaning over and looking at him. The oldest is the one to ask, whispering, “why does he sleep so much, mama?”

Solana chuckles. “That’s what babies do. They need a lot of sleep to grow big and strong.”

The quieter of the two of them deviates from her usual silence to predict, “he’s gonna be big and strong like papa.”

The oldest, however, doesn’t hesitate to reiterate. “I’m still gonna be the tribal chief though.”

Solana has such a torn reaction she does well at hiding. As much as she loves how much her technically first born admires Roman and wants to be just like him, she also has no idea just what it is that Roman really does. The true weight that comes with wearing the Ula Fala.

Or the fact that by his family’s laws and traditions, their son is the true heir to the Bloodline. Granted, she also suspects it’s those same laws and traditions Roman will fight tooth and nail to change should their daughter, even after knowing the truth about the Bloodline, still want to pursue taking his place when the time comes for him to step down.

Roman would do anything to give her just as much a chance to the keys to the kingdom as her brother.

But, that’s so far down the line, and Solana doesn’t like thinking about it too much. She just wants to enjoy her children as they are now, innocent and oblivious.

Ms. Quiet stays on her talking streak, asking quietly, “can we still go to aunt Bayley’s house today?”

Solana nods. She briefly forgot about that, but it’s still very much doable. “Of course.”

The girls gasp and look at each other, Solana already knowing another request is about to follow. Roman’s little twin ends up being the one to ask, “mama, can we go see papa at his office before?”

She shouldn’t be surprised. One of their favorite things to do is stop by and see Roman while he’s at work. Something she hasn’t done in some time, not since the birth of her son and even then, it had been a few months.

Solana starts to text and ask him if he’s busy, but one look at the happiness on the girls’ faces at being able to see their dad, and she knows she doesn’t need to.

She knows there’s no way on God’s green earth that he would turn them away, even if he stopped or canceled a meeting just to interact with them.

That’s just the kind of father he is.

His kids come first.

With excitement bubbling in her stomach at seeing her husband, Solana takes a glance at her son, smile growing as he stirs, clearly just as ready to see daddy.

She then looks back at her just excited girls, sharing, “time to go see papa.”

“Time to get up.”

Solana has to blink a couple of times to reorient herself, almost entirely due to the shocking nature of her dream. A dream she’s now had every night since being admitted to the hospital, glimpses, and what feels like peeks, into the future.

Her future.

But, at the same time, it’s a distant thing that seems unattainable and unrealistic given where she is now. On a legally mandated psychiatric hold after attempting to die by suicide.

“You up, sweetie?”

Solana nods and sits up in the bed, accepting the water and pills in the small medicine bowl. She doesn’t hesitate to swallow all three, offering a small smile to the nurse who’s been assigned to her, making sure she takes her medication as prescribed.

The nurse, Carol, she thinks, reminds, “breakfast starts in twenty.”

Solana nods, pushing back some of her hair, waiting for the older woman to leave before she lays back down on the bed.

She shuts her eyes.

The past few days have been…..an experience. An emotional ride unlike any she’s been on in years. The last time she can recall struggling and feeling as heavy as she was was when she woke up from her coma and had it confirmed that her mother was dead. Something she knew but held onto the invisible string of hope that Nina somehow survived.

Even though Solana still recalls the moment she heard and saw her mother take her last breath.

It’s a weight that’s lessened tremendously over the past couple of days, since she woke up yet a second time, less irrational, not as hysterical. Part of her reaction was most definitely due to still feeling suicidal, still believing that being dead would be better for everyone. But her reaction was exacerbated by the fact that two male nurses moved to restrain her as she tried to move from the hospital bed. Having male hands on her like that was triggering and made her emotions that much more difficult to manage in an already tense situation.

But the second time she awoke, Solana saw nothing but women. Truth be told, she’s only had women on her care team since being admitted. It’s made such a big difference.

All of it has.

Being in this space, so separated from the outside world. It’s been both difficult and welcomed. A nice escape from a recently draining reality but also a heavy separation that she’s brought up a couple times now in her individual therapy sessions with her therapist, Gail.

That is the difficulty in being separated from Roman. It’s a dichotomy. As much as she wants to see and talk to him, she wants to hide and avoid him. She wants to explain yet also never have to discuss it again. An avoidance behavior that is typical for survivors of suicide attempts, another thing she’s learned in therapy thus far.

But more than anything, Solana just wants to talk to him. She remembers from when she was admitted as a teen following her first attempt that communication is typically cut off from the outside. She just didn’t realize it would be the same protocol as an adult.

Something intended to avoid patients from being re-triggered. She gets that, but it doesn't make her miss him any less.

This is the first time they’ve been separated from one another since before the wedding, and it’s not a fun experience.

But yet….

It’s not a horrible experience either.

No one wants to be in the hospital. And no one definitely wants to be in the hospital on a legal hold because they’ve been deemed a danger to themselves and thus needs 24/7 supervision.

That part sucks, but what hasn’t sucked for Solana is being able to be as honest and vulnerable as she needs to be. To cry and fully acknowledge the extent of her feelings, to be as raw as she’s been in her therapy sessions thus far with Gail. The woman whose kind smile, non-judgemental and self-disclosure of also being violated has created such a safe space for her.

Solana knew, knows, that she can talk to Roman. That he’s made it clear there’s nothing she can’t discuss with him. But, there’s something about speaking to another woman, someone who’s also sadly been through something similar that’s….that’s healing, almost.

Knowing Carol will be back for another reminder about breakfast, Solana pulls from her thoughts and leaves her bed to start her day.

Everything in the hospital is planned, time cut out for everything from meds, breakfast, group therapy, individual therapy and more. There’s only so much time in the day that’s reserved as ‘free time,’ though being hospitalized doesn’t present a ton of options for one to choose from during said ‘free time.’

However, Solana has always been able to occupy herself and keep herself busy, and this is no different.

Later that day, she’s in one of the common areas, utilizing her free time with one of her favorite coping mechanisms. One she’s recently revisited and brought back to lean on. Pencil in hand, Solana uses the sketchbook she was given by Gail. No particular drawing in mind, it’s not missed on her how the bare bones outline of the face she’s drawing has very similar features to that of her husband.

“Hey.”

Solana lifts her head from the page, landing on two women who she’s seen in passing and up close in her group therapy. Both are brunette with similar heights yet different builds. The shorter one looks like she keeps herself in the gym, slender muscles visible even with the hospital provided clothing they all wear. The other is a few inches taller and curvier, her breast stretched against the material. The shorter one is the one who spoke. One looks amenable, the other does not. The one who spoke is, unfortunately, not the one with the friendly expression.

Solana swallows, gaze somewhat traveling as she sees one of the orderlies already watching the interaction. Closely. He’s a big man whose size looks disproportionate to the job he holds here, and she’s noticed him watching her a couple of times. Yet, it’s never been a predatory gaze. Almost…..protective.

“Solana, right?” She nods as the two women plop on the other sofa adjacent to the one Solana sits on. “I’m AJ, and this is Candice.” She gestures to the other woman with her thumb, the brunette waving and smiling almost giddily. Before Solana can say anything else, AJ is leaned over, asking in a low voice. “You’re Roman’s wife, right?”

Solana tenses. For some reason, that rubs her the wrong way, sends an unfamiliar chill up her spine. Something in her tells her to lie, but it’s no use in denying the obvious. “Yes.”

AJ snorts and sits back, arm lazily lounged up on the top of the sofa. “Well, I was gonna ask you how’d you end up here, but I guess that’s an obvious answer.” AJ laughs darkly, making her comment to Candice but directing it towards Solana. “I’d try to off myself too if I had to be married to that son of a bitch.”

Clearly, Solana has not been in a good place recently, hence her current situation. Her emotions have been all over the place. That’s why she chalks up her next actions to the fact that she’s still coming down from her relapse.

Closing up the sketchpad, Solana sits up and doesn't stutter as she states clearly and concisely to AJ, “you have no idea what the hell you’re talking about, so why don’t you just shut up and leave me alone?”

Candice's shock matches that of Solana’s, but the former doesn’t back down. Doesn’t suddenly regret her statement. Maybe it’s adrenaline. Maybe it’s the fact that Solana feels the anger stirring inside her at even the insinuation that Roman could ever be the cause of her trying to end her life.

When he’s the one that saved it.

AJ, however, doesn’t look shocked. She looks pissed off.

And then she’s smiling.

“Oh, sweetie, you have no idea who you’re messing with.” AJ starts to stand up, Candice following suit though she looks more confused and dumbfounded than anything. Like she’s there but not here. “Your psychopath husband isn’t here to save you—”

“You lay one hand on her, and I’ll snap your fucking neck like a twig.”

Three sets of eyes land on the figure who’s way too big for them to have not heard his footsteps, but that’s exactly what’s happened. The orderly who Solana has noticed watching her since her admission is standing almost protectively beside where she still sits on the sofa. His gaze and voice are hard as steel, focused on AJ and Candice. “I suggest you leave. Now. And stay the hell away from her.”

Solana looks between this man who, for some reason, is defending her and AJ, who still looks more amused than anything. She scoffs. “Of course.” Frowning, Solana is still stuck on the fact that this orderly who’s working in a psychiatric wing for women who’ve tried to kill themselves just threatened to kill another woman when AJ simply turns to walk away, Candice hot on her heel.

And as soon as they're out of the vicinity, the man steps back, as if wanting to grant Solana space. He then exclaims, further deepening her shock, “you’ll be safe here, Mrs. Reigns. You have my word.”

Mrs. Reigns…..

Solana is suddenly taken back to her birthday trip, the way she was addressed by the pilots, the chef, and anyone else that Roman hired to assist them on their vacation. And that’s when it hits her.

“Bloodline…..” It makes so much sense. Why he’s always seemed to be around when she’s not in her room, the way he’s watched her almost nonstop since she arrived, the way he intervened just now. “You’re Bloodline.”

“Dave.” He offers a small, respectful smile that’s all the answer she needs. “But everyone calls me by my last name, Bautista.”

________

“Hey.”

It’s interesting how a simple word can bring on such a reaction.

Just yesterday, the same word was said to her and followed up with a not terrible but strange interaction.

She can only pray this time around is different.

Solana takes a second to pause and shut her eyes before she looks up from her inner arm where she works on the assignment given in her first group therapy session.

Her eyes land on three women, all familiar faces because they’re all in her group. However, she’s never directly spoken to them prior to now.

Solana swallows and offers a small smile. “Hi….”

Solana studies all of them, different in skintones, builds, hair colors and even facial expressions. The one who spoke first pushes her raven hair over shoulder and clears her throat, asking, “is it—is it true that your husband had the orderlies and security replaced with Bloodline members?”

The question takes her back, Solana unsure of how to respond, not because she doesn’t know the answer. She does. Baustista indirectly confirming that he was sent by her husband to watch over her has made Solana realize that it’s not just him who she catches watching her whenever she’s not in her room. It’s other men as well. Big, strong, much too in shape for a job like this.

The only logical thing that makes sense to her is that Roman is, once again, looking out for her. As he always does.

“That’s pretty fucking cool. If so.” Another one comments, her brunette pulled to the side of her neck as she sits down on the sofa opposite Solana. “It was even better seeing AJ put in her place.”

Solana swallows, quite unsure just how to respond to that. “I—I don’t want to cause any problems.”

The first woman scoffs, also sitting down next to the other lady. “You might not, but AJ does. I honestly don’t know why they don’t put her in the other wing with Victoria.”

“The other wing?”

The third woman breaks her silence, explaining, her voice quiet and typical for her equally unassuming demeanor. “There’s two psychiatric wings here. The one we’re in and another for more….severe cases.”

“I.e. the really crazy bitches.”

“Melina!” The woman with brunette hair shakes her head, smiling a little as she formally introduces everyone. “I’m Mickey. This is Melina, and that’s Cameron, but we call her Cam.”

For some reasons, the names fit all of them, Solana moving to the side as Cam gestures to the space next to her and takes an almost apprehensive seat.

“Solana—”

“Oh, everyone knows who you are, girl.” Mickey snickers, leaning back into the sofa and crossing her legs over one another. “You might just be my new favorite person.”

Solana frowns, completely lost at this seemingly random title. “I don’t—-I don’t understand.”

“AJ thinks she runs shit around here. Her and that dumbass friend of hers, Candice Michelle.” Melina explains, shaking her head. “AJ definitely should be in the other ward with Victoria. She’s the psychiatrist that runs it. Doesn’t put up with shit. Almost polar opposite of Dr. Stratus.”

Solana doesn’t know much beyond what’s being said, but something tells her she’s most definitely in the better of two places. Even if just getting to have Dr. Stratus manages her meds. She really likes her.

However, this conversation brings up a very valid question that Solana doesn’t exactly know how to word very well but finds it in her to ask. “So you all….you’ve been here before?”

It’s obvious, given the fact that they’re all so familiar with each other and dynamics. Same with this AJ and Candice person, but Solana doesn’t want to assume.

There’s a silence that falls over the women, and Solana instantly feels bad, feels silly for not recognizing how invasive that question is. However, before she can apologize, Cam is the one to speak up.

Shrugging, her smile is tight and undeniably sad as she says so simply, “demons are hard to kill.”

And just like that, Solana has never related to something more.

Feeling overcome with an almost duty to share, her eyes drop to her arms, the intricate outlines of butterflies camouflaging the scars that will never fully go away. “I get that……I really do.”

Looking up, Solana feels the set of understanding gazes on her, instantly knowing without any of them needing to share specifics that they just get it. They understand the specific and tragic ways one can end up in a place like this, oftentimes due to demons beyond their slaughtering capabilities.

Mickey clears her throat, gesturing to Solana’s arm. “You’re really good.”

She glances down at her still unfinished art, a small smile falling on her face. “Thank you.” An idea crosses her mind as she notices each of them attempted to follow through on the assignment as well but clearly struggled. “I can—I can help, if you want?”

Cam gasps, obviously excited by the idea of it. “Really?”

Solana’s smile grows as she explains, “I—I love art.”

Mickey squeals almost and pulls out a black sharpie from her bra, shrugging with a playful smile.

“We were kinda hoping you said that.”

________

“You’re quiet today.” Gail’s assessment continues as she asks in a gentle voice, “are you nervous?”

Nervous is an understatement. Solana fidgets on the sofa, running her hands down her sweats. “I—I haven’t seen or spoken to him since….you know.”

Gail presses her lips together, nodding. “You don’t know what to expect.”

Solana nods, eyes starting to water. “I don’t—I don’t want him to be upset with me.”

It’s officially been a week since Solana has been admitted into the psychiatric ward. An interesting experience, to say the least. She’s made enemies, made ‘friends’, worked through and started to process with a professional so much of her trauma, and more. And while her longing for seeing and speaking to her husband has only continued to grow by the day. The day finally being here where she’s allowed a visitor, where he will come to see her this evening feels almost….it feels too soon.

She’s just so nervous, unsure of what that reunion is going to look like.

Gail sees the thoughts brewing in her client’s head as she asks in an attempt to redirect, “are you responsible for his emotions?”

“No, but….but I—” When she struggles to get out a coherent response, Gail presents a thought provoking question.

“Solana, based upon what you know about Roman, what’s more likely? That he’ll be upset with you or that he’ll just be happy that you’re alive?”

It’s such a good question, one that has the emotion bubbling in the back of her throat, emotion she shows as silent tears begin to fall. “I—I want him to be happy, but…..”

“You’re still struggling with feeling like a burden to him….” It’s an assessment by her therapist that is wholly correct, but one Solana can’t verbally comment on, only offering her agreement with a silent head nod. “Do you remember the exercise we did a couple of sessions ago about faulty thinking? About the ways your trauma influences your thinking.”

Solana reflects back on that session, so heavy yet so helpful. It provided her such insight on just how deeply her experiences have painted her view of so much. Of everything, really. Including how she so lowly views herself sometimes.

“I want you to think about that and compare it to the thoughts that you’re having now……where are they coming from?”

Solana closes her eyes and blows out a breath. “My…my fear.”

“And if your fear was a living, breathing entity sitting opposite beside you right now, how would you combat it? Think about the cognitive challenging we discussed.”

Keeping her eyes shut, Solana travels back to that session, utilizing the skills and tips and knowledge she’s learned since her admission.

She takes an ‘efficient breath’, as Gail calls them. “I’d tell my fear that….that you don’t get to control me anymore.”

Gail smiles softly, gently encouraging the young woman to continue. “What else?”

Silent tears continue to fall, but Solana’s voice remains firm and unwavering. “And that….that Roman cares about me and just wants me to be okay and….and get better.”

Gail hasn’t felt so proud and pleased with a client’s response to the empty chair exercise in quite a while. “Exactly.” She sits back in her own chair, jotting down some notes. “Can I ask what you’re feeling right now?”

Solana finally opens her eyes and wipes at her eyes, scoffing quietly. “A…a little better, actually.” She motions to her chest. “It doesn’t….it doesn’t feel as heavy.”

“Good.” Gail makes note of this and starts to ask a follow up processing question when Solana’s soft voice beats her to it.

“Can…..can I talk about something with you?”

Gail’s grin is warm and welcoming as she offers genuine assurance. “Solana, there’s nothing we can’t discuss here.” She’s pleased to see Solana’s smile grow at this reassurance. “What would you like to talk about?”

Feeling on the spot all of a sudden, despite being the one who initiated the conversation, Solana does her best to manage and push through her anxiety. “I—I’ve been….I’ve been having dreams since I got here.”

Gail is mindful of her expression as she asks in a soft voice, “dreams or…..”

Sensing what she’s asking, Solana quickly shakes her head. “No. Not those. Not nightmares. They….they really are dreams. Good dreams, I—I think.”

Studying her, Gail assesses. “You seem unsure.”

Deciding to bite the bullet, Solana shares in a low voice, “they’re dreams of me in the future…..as….as a mother.”

Gail nods. “I see.” She makes note of one of Solana’s nonverbals. “You’re smiling right now.”

Sniffling, Solana continues to share and exhibit so much vulnerability, most of which is solely because of how safe and non-judged Gail has made her feel. “In the dreams, we have three kids. Twin girls and a baby boy.” She wipes at her nose and swallows deeply. “I—I want to be a mom someday, but I don’t….I don’t want to be a bad mom.”

If these dreams have shown her anything, it’s that she wants more than anything to be a positive influence in her future child, or children's, lives. She doesn’t want to cause them even a fraction of the parental trauma she’s experienced.

And deep down, Solana knows that she’s absolutely nothing like her father.

But, she knows she’s very much been deeply impacted by her fathers’ abuse. By all of her trauma. And the last thing she wants is for any of that to negatively influence her children.

“Solana, what makes you think you could ever be a bad mother?” She shrugs, shutting down a bit. Gail sighs lowly, offering words of affirmation and support. “You are not a bad person. You are not a broken person. Not a damaged person. Just a person who’s been dealt some not so great cards, but you’re here, working on these things. Working on becoming a healthier version of yourself.” Gail chuckles, pointing out, “that doesn’t sound like a bad future mother to me.”

Really sitting on the words of encouragement and doing her best to not let the self-doubt creep in, Solana asks in a voice barely above a whisper, “do you….do you really think I could be a good mother?”

Gail’s response is almost immediate, not a thought to be had as she answers honestly, “Solana, I think you could be a damn good mother.”

Solana laughs, emotion seeping in as she nods, utterly grateful for such kind words. “Thank….thank you. That….that means a lot to me.”

“Of course.” Gail would like to process this more, maybe get into some additional trauma work, but there’s another important thing on her agenda for this session. “Solana, as you know, your hold will be up exactly one week from now, meaning you’ll be officially discharged and allowed to return home.”

Solana eyes lighten up at that, an expected reaction as Gail gently slides into a deeper conversation pertaining to her release. “But, there’s something I would like to speak to you about.”

________

Roman doesn’t think twice as he walks into the room that’s suspiciously quiet to be located in a hospital, decorated just as one would expect a therapist’s office to look. He only briefly takes a look around before plopping his big body down on the sofa.

He didn’t even pay any attention to the fact that Gail was attempting to extend an olive branch, offering a handshake that he so rudely ignored, clearly ready to get this over with.

She keeps her togetherness, offering a verbal introduction. “Thank you for com—”

“This has to do with Solana, right?”

Gail makes a face, pressing her lips together as she chuckles quietly. “Of course.”

“Then get to it.” Roman is quick with the demands, asking, “how is she doing?”

Gail offers a tight smile. “I’m Gail Kim, the therapist on staff who’s been handling Solana’s individual therapy sessions.”

“Did I ask you who you were?” His stare is cold and uninterested. “I asked you how she’s doing.”

Sighing, Gail refers to the tablet on her lap, opening up the notes she’s happy that she prepared ahead of time. This is going exactly as she predicted it would. “Your wife is no longer endorsing suicidal ideation which means she’s denying any thoughts and plans to take her life, which is significant progress considering it’s only been a week—”

There’s a hint of hopefulness in both his expression and voice as he asks, “so, she’s ready to come home?”

Gail hesitates. “Not exactly.”

The previous hopefulness melts into something cold and harsh. Roman is visibly and understandably irritated. “You just said she’s not suicidal anymore.”

“Yes, but it’s not that simple. Solana is….she’s an interesting case. Her trauma history is significant. Though she seems to be on the way to stabilization, there’s still a lot of work that needs to be done. She needs continued professional help.”

“Isn’t that why she’s here with you?” His tone is cruel and condescending. “If you’re too fucking incompetent to help her, let me take her home, so I can.”

Gail bites the inside of her cheek. If this was anyone else, she would set them straight on the importance of mutual respect. But, this isn’t just anyone. This is Roman Reigns, and she’s well aware of the fact that one wrong statement or sign of disrespect could very well end her life, so she does her best to remain calm and professional. And she tries an alternative approach.

“You know, one of the exercises she did in an individual session asks about what safe spaces she has, sources of support and whatnot. And you know what she put down for almost every answer?” Gail gives a small, closed mouth smile. “You.” Well trained in reading nonverbals, she picks up on the brief giveaway sign of emotion that flashes in Roman’s eyes at this. “She put down that you are her number one reason for wanting to live.”

There’s a good minute of silence before Roman asks in an uncharacteristically low voice. “So why did she do it?”

Gail's smile shifts into a solemn frown. “I’ll leave that discussion to the two of you. She’s expressed wanting to talk with you about that directly.”

“I’m asking you.”

Gail leans back in her chair and goes a different route. “It’s okay to be upset with her. To be angry at her. To be angry at and blame yourself.” Gail catches just a glimpse of surprise in his eyes at the last part. “To actually feel your feelings.”

Roman, however, is uninterested in any of this. Offended even. “Why the hell would I be angry at her?”

“Why wouldn’t you be? She tried to leave you. That’s essentially what suicide is. Escapism. It provides the patient with the peace they’re looking for but leaves the loved ones left behind with a world of questions and emotions.” She explains, mindful of her tone and voice. “Two truths can exist in the same universe. You can be happy she wasn’t successful and still angry at her for trying in the first place.”

Roman is quiet for a good two minutes, Gail wondering if she should transition to another topic when he breaks said silence in that same low voice.

“I don’t understand why she didn’t call me. I told her to tell me if…..if those thoughts ever returned.”

“But she didn’t…..” Gail’s voice softens as she adds, almost empathetically. “I think you’ll find talking with her will give you some of the answers you’re looking for. But, they truly should come from her.”

Roman won’t push. He wants to, but won’t. If this is something Solana wants to discuss with him herself, he’ll respect that. So long as it’s not triggering to her, which it seems, surprisingly, it’s not.

Gail clears her throat and transitions to the next section. “Dr. Stratus started her on a medication regimen of Sertraline, 50mg and Wellbutrin, 100mg, once a day in the morning as well as Hydroxyzine, PRN, which means as needed. The Sertraline and Wellbutrin are antidepressants, and Hydroxyzine can be taken when she starts to feel overwhelmed or triggered. So far, she’s responding well, though it typically takes 4 to 6 weeks for patients to truly notice the full benefits.”

Roman nods, as Gina or whatever her name is, continues to explain what’s otherwise obvious.

“We’ve been administering her medication and given how she attempted to take her life, Dr. Stratus and I strongly advise that you or someone else take over that administration upon her discharge—”

“Do you honestly think I’m stupid enough to allow her to have unmonitored access to pills again?” Roman doesn’t even try, not that he was before, to hide his frustration and irritation. She’s acting like he’s stupid. His degrees may be in business, but one doesn’t need to have a degree in behavioral health to know thatyou don’t give a formerly suicidal person free access to the same method they used to take their life.

Gail, however, decides to not feed into it. “You know, anger is sometimes just anger. Just people mad as hell. But sometimes….sometimes it’s what we call a blanket emotion, meaning there are other feelings hiding beneath it, being presented as anger.”

Roma sits forward. “Just what the hell are you trying to insinuate?”

“Nothing at all, Mr. Reigns.” A small smile falls on her face, and that only pisses him off even more. Is this bitch trying to patronize him or something? “But, you should know that we offer support for spouses and loved ones like yourself who are supporting—”

“The only thing I need for you to do is to help my wife, so I can get her the hell out of this place and home where she belongs.”

Gail takes a deep breath.

It was worth a try.

“I want to show you something.” She stands up from her chair, moving to her desk as she pulls out a key to unlock the drawer. “Solana signed a full release authorizing us to share all details regarding her care with you. But, there are some things she’s explicitly expressed you not being okay with knowing and seeing. This is not one of them. And I think you would find it interesting….”

If not for the fact that the therapist already made it clear that safety concerns and suicidality are exceptions to confidentiality, Roman would be concerned, wondering just what exactly Solana doesn’t want him to know.

But something tells him she’s perhaps opened up in therapy about specifics regarding her trauma more than she has with him, and if that’s the case, his only hope is that this woman knows what she’s doing and doesn’t trigger Solana further.

She walks back over, handing him a set of sheets. Roman takes them, immediately noticing the handwriting.

Solana’s handwriting.

He gets to reading the bolded question that each has answers of varying length.

Who is your safe person? What makes this person safe?

My husband. He’s the first man in my life to not hurt me. The first man I’ve ever trusted.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you trust this person with 1 being none and 10 being absolute trust?

How does this person make you feel safe?

He’s patient with me and listens to me and makes me feel beautiful.

How does this person serve as a member of your support system?

He listens to me and always checks on me.

How long have you experienced thoughts/urges/practices of self-harming behavior including suicidal ideation and/or attempts?

The first time I felt like I didn't want to be alive anymore was when I was ten. I woke up from my coma and realized my mother was dead. I just wanted to be with her. But it’s my brother constantly telling me I should kill myself after my mom’s murder that made me seriously think about doing it.

He would tell me that it should have been me who died, and I should just kill myself because no one wanted me.

And I started to believe him.

It’s been on and off since then.

Has there been a point in time where you have not had these thoughts/urges?

Yes. For the past four months.

If you answered yes to the previous question, what caused or contributed to the cessation of these thoughts/urges?

I met my husband. I had real friends for the first time. I found myself having a real family for the first time in a long time.

I was happy.

Prior to this gap, when was the last time you experienced any of these thoughts? What triggered them?

The day of my wedding. This was before I got to know my husband. I was scared he was going to beat me like my dad and brother.

What happened to re-trigger you? If uncomfortable sharing, list the emotions you felt during this episode.

Sadness. Anger. Confusion.

Do you remember what thoughts you were experiencing before the suicidal and self-harming ideation returned? What were they?

I couldn’t stop thinking about my rape and my mother’s murder. It was like I was reliving them over and over again, and I couldn’t get the memories and flashbacks to stop. It felt like all my progress was reversed, and I’d have to start over, and I didn’t want to put my husband and family through that, as they’re the reason I even started to heal.

I just didn’t want to be in pain anymore, and I thought everyone would be happier if I was dead. I didn’t want to be a burden to my husband.

Looking back and reflecting on your thoughts, have they changed? And if so, how?

I don’t want to die. I still don’t feel as good as I was feeling before I found out the truth, but I’m not thinking or wanting to kill myself anymore. I still have a lot of things I want to do. I’m not ready to be done here. Just want to get better.

Do you wish you would have done something different? What could you have done differently?

Yes.

Called my husband.

Can you identify at least one reason your life is worth living?

Roman

Roman has oscillated through so many different emotions reading through this worksheet from beginning to end. Anger seems like the dominant emotion, his jaw clenching as he learns how close to the paternal tree Solana’s bitch brother remained..

He’s not much better than Xavier.

If not worse.

And Roman is determined to find even more, additional ways to make that fucker suffer the way he made Solana suffer for so many years.

He’s also livid and something else unknown that on a day that should have been special for her, she was considering taking her own life.

And he hates himself for putting her in that position in the first place. He was the one who wanted to speed everything up, not even considering how traumatic that process could have been for her.

But he especially doesn’t know how to feel reading just how highly Solana views and feels about him. She hasn’t been very quiet regarding how much she cares about him, but reading her words, her writing, her honesty, it makes him aware of just how much she cares.

“You mean a lot to her. And her healing and progress moving forward will require your support.” Gail cuts in, voice calm and almost soothing. “One of the things I ask clients all the time is who their support system is and is there anything else they need from this person or persons….she couldn’t tell me a single thing she needs from you that you don’t already give her.” Roman says nothing, not even offering a nonverbal gesture or movement for her to analyze. Thus, Gail continues, reviewing her notes of topics she wanted to touch on with him prior to his seeing Solana in a few hours. “Now, I will say, Solana does exhibit strong codependent tendencies. Specifically with you. She’s extremely attached to you, and while that should probably be addressed at some point, her stabilization is the priority.”

Roman doesn’t pay much, or any, mind to that last part. He doesn’t care what this woman says. Whatever Solana needs, she’ll get.

Especially if what she wants is him.

Cause he wants her just as much.

________

Roman doesn’t get nervous.

Ever.

But, he’s certain what he’s feeling in his fucking stomach is some level of nerves.

And he hates that shit.

Cause why the fuck is he at his grown age feeling anxious about seeing his wife? Perhaps it’s the fact that it’ll be the first time in a week that he’s actually laid eyes on her, seeing her not lying unconscious in a hospital bed. That he’ll be able to have her big brown eyes focused on him. Hear the sound of her voice, so soft and light.

He shuts his eyes.

Fucking nerves.

He decides to pull out his phone as a distraction while security escorts her to him in the visitors section, remembering a text from Paul that he should probably respond to. Not that he wants to, but it’s better standing here feeling fucking stupid and—

“Roman…”

He wasn’t sure just sure how he would respond or react or even feel seeing her for the first time in a week, but Solana is barely able to get his name out of his mouth when Roman snaps his head up from the phone in his hand to the direction of which the voice came.

It happens a bit too fast for him to even process. The rise and easy falter of her smile, the gloss of her eyes, the tiny scoff of disbelief that leaves her mouth before she’s running toward him. Roman wastes not a single fucking second to pick her up the minute she throws her body against him. And just like that, almost every trace of irritation, of vexation, of anger melts away.

Roman’s eyes shut as he holds her close against him, noticing how tightly she’s holding him back.

Her voice cracks followed by a sniffle as she murmurs against his shoulder. “I’ve missed you….”

For a brief second, he’s angry again. Angry because has she been asking for him? And if so, why was he not informed? Stratus has been texting him frequent general updates. That she’s been consistently opening up in individual therapy, not as open in group sessions, often writes and draws during their designated free time, etc.

But nothing about her asking for him.

He makes a mental note to ask Stratus about that shit, but not now. Now, his focus is entirely focused on the woman in his arms.

“I missed you too.” Saying he missed her feels like an understatement. Roman has been fucking miserable without her around, but what good would it serve her to share as such? So, he keeps it simple but still accurate.

He ignores the small part of him that dislikes when she finally pulls away, but that dissatisfaction is easily shoved to the side when he sees her eyes watering. “I’m so sorry. I—I didn't mean. I just—”

Roman’s focus is now solely honed in on stopping her from crying. He can’t see her upset. Not after what happened. He moves his hands to her face, gently cupping her cheeks and brushing away her tears. “Let’s talk, okay?”

She nods, stepping back, forcing his hands to drop but easily sliding her hand into one of his as she leads them in the direction from where she came. Roman won’t lie. He’s not paying attention to much in passing. Just her. It’s like there’s a blurred lens on them, distorting everything around them except his wife.

And he has zero issues with this.

He has zero issues until they’re walking past a group of three women who seem to notice that Solana is crying and stop her, the one who almost looks like she could be Hispanic asks Solana, “are you alright?”

Who the fuck is this? Roman would most definitely ask as such as well as tell her to stay out of their damn business if not for the fact that Solana answers almost reassuringly.

“Yes, of course.”

To make matters worse, this irritating ass stranger has the audacity to almost send a suspicious damn near glare his way. Just who the fuck does she think she is?

The woman on her right suddenly asks, her quiet voice strangely reminding him of Solana. Right off the bat, he can see they have similar demeanors. “You’re still joining us for breakfast, right?”

Solana answers right away, shaking her head. “Of course.”

Joining for breakfast? What the fuck is this? A psychiatric ward or summer camp?

The women all seem to give Solana that ‘call us if you need anything’ nod before finally leaving him alone with his wife. Roman has to keep his sigh to himself.

Only Solana would make ‘friends’ at a damn hospital.

She finally leads him into what he would guess is her ‘room.’ He’s instantly not impressed and annoyed because he directly instructed Stratus to make sure she had the best this place has to offer.

This clearly ain’t it. He adds it to his list of complaints to bring up to the psychiatrist. He’s also annoyed by the ‘sheet’ that serves at the door, irritated that they won’t have total privacy. But, he understands. It’s a psychiatric ward. Not the Four Seasons.

Roman allows Solana to guide him over to her bed where she motions for him to sit down. He does as such, partially surprised when she climbs onto his lap, legs on either side. He doesn’t protest though, simply holds her by his hips as he shifts so that his back against the wall.

Solana, however, keeps her head down, her hands scrunching the bottom of his shirt as she seems to force out, “I don’t want to talk about this—”

That’s an easy thing, Roman quickly moving to remind her of her autonomy. “Then don’t—”

She cuts him off. “But, I need to.” She finally lifts her gaze, and my God, he’s missed staring into those pretty eyes, seeing her pretty face. “I can’t—I won’t avoid it.” She takes a deep breath, asking, “what do you want to know?”

He’s partially surprised by how direct she’s being, but in his defense, the last time he spoke to her directly, she was in such a different place. A much darker place.

That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore, but he knows looks can be deceiving, so he remains cautious. His voice is surprisingly gentle, as he answers, “I think you already know the answer to that, Sol.”

Her eyes shut again, and he can’t tell if it’s because of his use of his nickname for her or the emotionality of it all.

Both, probably.

She brings her gaze back on him, and he hates seeing the emotion building back up. Logically, he knows that there’s no way to have this kind of conversation and emotion not be present. Doesn’t mean he has to like it though. “I just….I couldn’t think straight that night, Roman. I just kept reliving every bad thing that’s happened to me but now with the knowledge that it was my own father that was responsible. And I just….I couldn't handle it.”

This is the part he can barely handle. The knowing of the role, a large role, he played in what landed her here. He feels like shit about it and prepares to take ownership when she continues.

“And I thought….I felt like….I felt like all the progress I had made was now gone and that I’d have to start over, and I just—-I couldn’t fathom going through all that again.” She swallows, tears starting to fall. “I felt like I would just be a burden to you and that….it would just be easier for you if I was dead.”

Gutted. Reading it was one thing, but hearing it is an entirely different experience. To know this is truly how she felt, the thought process that led to her making the decision she made. The most likely reason she didn’t call him.

Because she thought she was a burden.

It kills him.

She drops her head, and he moves his hands back to her face. “Solana, look at me.” When she continues to keep her head down, he repeats himself, voice still low and gentle. “Look at me.” She seems to hesitate but follows through, Roman hating how devastated she looks. “Nothing about my life would be easier without you in it. You are never a burden to me. You never have been, and you never will be. I want to help you. Listen to you. Whatever it is you need, I’ll do. I just need you to tell me.” This time, he’s the one swallowing back unfamiliar and uncomfortable emotions. “I just need you to not leave me, alright?” She seems slightly taken back by his honesty and vulnerability. Truthfully, so is he. It was one thing to be so honest with her while she was unconscious, but it’s another when she sits before him, aware and conscious and hanging onto every word. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about your father. I should have—”

“No. Please—please don’t.” She shakes her head, interrupting him with that same small voice. “I’m glad you didn’t.” The ‘shocked’ ball is back in his court as she explains, “I don’t….I don’t think I would have ever wanted to know the truth. It’s….it’s been too hard to have to deal with that.”

Clearly. He can’t even begin to imagine what that’s like for her. To be stuck with the knowledge that her own flesh and blood could be so cruel, so hateful, so evil as to do what Xavier has done to his own daughter.

“The therapy has….it’s helped.” He believes it. Roman has noticed the sheets of paper that have positive affirmations and what he would guess are coping skills taped to the wall opposite her bed. She cracks a small, sad smile. “It’s….it’s been good for me.”

He believes that, too. He can see that. There’s a stark difference in her appearance, even with her being emotional as she is with the conversation at hand. She doesn’t look as fractured as the last time he saw her.

She looks stronger. Happier, even. It makes his chest swell with yet another unfamiliar sentiment.

Love, perhaps?

Just thinking about it has Roman clearing his throat, needing to focus on something other than that right now. “Have they been treating you okay?” This has been pretty high up, if not the highest, thing on his priority list.

She nods, Roman noticing and grateful that her tears are starting to dry up. “Yes. I….how many Bloodline men do you have here?”

“Enough.” She doesn’t need to know the full extent of just how above and beyond he went to ensure no one on staff at this hospital could be questionable about their intentions towards her. “I’m always gonna look out for you, baby. Always.”

Her eyes shut, not from feeling overwhelmed but something else. Something that seems less heavy and more comforting.

Solana moves around on top of him, Roman somehow sensing what she’s trying to do, and he has zero hesitations.

He shifts his body, so he’s laying on her bed, his feet dangling off the edge of the bed, but it makes no difference to him as soon as she lays on top of him, her head cradled in his neck, her arms around him.’

“I’ve missed you.” Her arm laid against him, Roman reading to close his eyes when he catches onto something for the first time. He doesn’t know he missed it either, because it stands out. Roman gently takes her arm, turning it over.

On her inner forearm are a set of beautifully drawn butterflies of various sizes and colors, the largest being a dark blue color and the smaller one next to it, different shades of red and pinks. There are three much smaller butterflies under the two larger ones, two of them pink and the smallest also that same dark blue.

She looks up at him, offering a small smile. “It’s something they have us do in group therapy. They call it The Butterfly Project.” She shifts her body to show him her other forearm, revealing additional butterflies before she lays back down as she was. “You draw butterflies that represent the people in your life you care about and every time…you think of wanting to self-harm, you remember that you’re killing the butterflies. It’s like….like a reminder that people care about you.”

It’s an interesting concept, and judging by the emotion in her voice, a concept she resonates with deeply. Roman’s long index finger ghosts over the larger blue one as he asks, “who is this one for?”

Solana’s smile deepens. “You.” He’s grateful that she continues to explain so he doesn't have to think much about that sentiment very similar to love that comes up at that admission. “And this one,” she gestures to the pink and red one. “--is me. My future self.”

That doesn’t help the building emotion, so he again goes for distraction, motioning to the remaining three, asking, “and those?”

She swallows, something flashing in her eyes he can’t identify, answering gently, “I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

Her answer confuses him. He doesn’t know what to make of it, but he doesn’t want to push her either.

“How is Dulce?” She asks suddenly, the sadness in her voice returning.

Roman won’t tell her the way her puppy sometimes sits by the front door around the time she usually gets home from work or the way she whimpers at night every so often, clearly missing her owner. He’ll spare her that, offering only a morsel of the truth.

“The usual. Sleeping most of the day. You can tell she misses you.”

Solana frowns. “I miss her too.” She licks her lips, asking almost nervously, “how are Bay—”

Roman is quick to shut that down, a hint of harshness in his voice. “I don’t want to talk about them.”

Truth be told, he’s not sure if he’ll ever be able to look or view them the same ever again. It may be a bit irrational and unfair, but it’s how he feels. And truthfully speaking, he’s got ten million other things on his mind and in his heart he’s trying to sort through.

“Roman…..” Solana sits up a bit, and he’s taken back for a second by how fucking beautiful she is. Even with the sadness in her eyes. “It wasn’t their fa—”

“Not now, Sol.” His tone takes on a gentler tone as he adds on, for good measure, “please. I just want to enjoy you.”

He knows she’ll bring it up again. She cares too much about the two women who Roman will never trust her with again to just let it go permanently. “Okay.” She lays herself back down on top of him, and Roman kisses the top of her head.

“How are you?”

He’s not quite sure why her question surprises him. But, the answer is an automatic, “fine.”

He’s far from fine, but she doesn't need to know that.

Again, Solana sits up, that frown almost deepening. “Are you sleeping?” She reaches over and caresses his beard. “You look tired. H–have you been taking your medicine?”

Roman is truly dumbfounded. She is the one who is currently a legally mandated patient in a psychiatric ward because she was actively suicidal only a week ago, and yet, she’s laying here worried about him.

Roman has to push back that love feeling that’s returning.

“I keep telling you not to worry about me,” he reminds, once again wanting and almost needing to stress to her that worrying about him should be the last thing on her plate.. “I just want you to focus on yourself.”

Her retort surprises him, bold and almost uncharacteristic of her. “And I keep telling you that I’m always going to worry about you.”

Roman chuckles, commenting, “you’re becoming more outspoken….”

She gives him a small smile. “I told you the therapy has been helping.”

Roman scoffs. She’s right. Maybe that Gemma woman does know what she’s doing.

“Do you need anything?”

Solana says nothing, just lays back down against him, her hand moving over his chest, resting on his heart. “Just you.” She must glance at the clock on the wall as she comments, “we only have 40 minutes left….”

He knows she’s referring to the one hour time block allotted for visitors. Something he absolutely couldn't give two shits about. “I’ll stay as long as you want me to.“ He’d stay the whole night if that was what she wanted.

“Roman….” It’s funny how he already knows what she’s going to say. “The rules—”

His interruption is sharp, but it’s not aimed towards her. And she knows that. “I don’t give a fuck about rules when it comes to you.” She sighs into his chest, offering no protest, saying nothing else.

Conversation is intermittent over the next two or so hours, Solana eventually falling asleep on top of him. He doesn’t mind. As much as he enjoys talking to her, having her body on top of his is an easy, acceptable alternative.

He’s missed this. Missed being with and around her. Roman is just now realizing just how much he benefits from having her around. He’s been a complete nightmare for everyone around him outside of Dulce, even more temperamental than his usual default setting.

But the minute he laid eyes on her, saw her innocent smile, had her in his arms, everything suddenly felt so better.

That’s what she does for him. What she is for him.

Medicine.

An antidote. Something he never knew he was missing until he met her. It seems like it was almost impossible for him to not fall in love with her.

Love….

Thinking about it again brings a frown to his handsome face, forcing him to face a reality that’s so easy to escape when he’s with her.

Roman may love Solana, but….he can never act on it. Not really. Can never tell her he loves her. That makes it official. That confirms that he finally has something his enemies can use against him, a distraction, a weakness.

Loving her openly would make him vulnerable, would put her at risk, and he couldn’t do that. Not just for himself but most definitely not to her.

To be with her like this, open and vulnerable, behind closed doors is one thing. It’s an entirely different ballpark though to make that visible and public, even with just telling her.

Feeling her stir against him, Roman kisses the top of her head, tugging her closer.

He won’t deny that he loves her.

But, he can’t act on it either.

He’s just going to have to find someway to push that down, tuck it away for safekeeping.

It’s just better that way.

________

Roman stays for about two hours, Solana waking up and reluctantly expressing her okayness with him leaving. It’s not what she wants, definitely not what he wants, but it’s what’s necessary.

If even for the fact that Dulce can’t be left alone for too long.

Solana holds onto his arm as she walks him out, Bautista not too far behind to escort her back to her room.

But, it’s when he turns to tell her bye, Roman about to ask her when she wants him to come see her again (fuck visting days), she surprises him by reaching behind her back and pulling out a sealed envelope.

Brows furrowed, Roman is curious just how the hell he missed that when she presses it against his chest. “Promise me you won’t read it until you get home.”

Now he’s extremely confused. It’s been a while since Solana has written to thim. They’ve progressed way past that, and it does concern him a bit that she didn’t just talk to him about whatever lies between the lines of this letter.

But, he also knows she’s been working hard in therapy and even in being able to open up to him about what happened that night had to have been a lot for her, so he won’t push it and will respect it.

Accepting the letter, he simply says, “okay.”

She offers a close mouthed smile, a sign of appreciation and moves to hug him once more, mumbling something in Spanish against his chest that he can’t make out. When she pulls back, he doesn’t hesitate to cup her cheek, reiterating, “you need anything, you let me know, alright?” They’d already briefly discussed how she had picked up on the fact that he had his men stationed strategically all over this place, and any of them were able to get a message to him.

She nods, repeating to him, “okay.” Solana tugs on his shirt and leans up to kiss his cheek, murmuring against his ear, “bye, Roman.”

It seems saying goodbye is difficult for her just as much as it is for him, Roman unable to reciprocate it, only letting his gaze follow her retreating form until Bautista gives him a nod and closes the door behind them.

He stands there for a good minute or two before actually leaving.

Fuck. Leaving her seems to be getting harder and harder.

Roman is barely in the SUV, door not even shut when his long fingers are moving with all the determination to open up the envelope. He unfolds the piece of paper, unsurprised to find her neat handwriting.

Roman,

I need to ask you to do something for me, but I need you to please hear me out before you settle on an answer. And please know I wouldn’t be asking this of you if I didn’t believe it’s something I really need.

I’m so sorry for putting you through this. I never want to cause you any stress or create any problems for you.

I wasn’t in a good place, and this experience has made me realize there’s still a lot of parts of me that still need to heal. I still have a lot to work through.

That’s why I’m asking.

Gail mentioned a treatment facility she runs about an hour away. It’s a 6 week program for women coming out of the hospital like I will be.

Roman, I think I should go.

I don’t think I should come home just yet.

I don’t feel ready. I’m not having those thoughts or urges anymore, but there’s still things I think I need to work through. I don’t ever want to put you through something like this again. I don’t ever want to end up back here again, but the only way I can do that is by making sure I’m good before I leave.

And I don’t know if another week can do that.

I miss you. So much. It’s been hard being away from you and Dulce and everyone else. But, I feel like I have to do this. I need to do this.

For us.

But mostly for me.

I want to get better.

Please let me.

Te quiero mucho,

Solana

BTW, I’m saying ‘I love you very much’ in Spanish.

Because I do.

I love you, Ro.

And I don’t need you to say it back or feel the same. With what you’ve been through, I’d never expect or ask that of you.

I just need you. Your continued support. That’s all. That’s enough.

With all my love,

Solana

________

“I’m so sick of your bloody fuckin’ shit, Seth! It’s the same fuckin’ thing over and over again, and I’m done!”

The cadence, melody, and even tone of his wife’s rant serves as the perfect resources for Seth who is lazily sprawled out across their sofa, beer in one hand, the other hand moving as if conducting an orchestra.

And he is.

Because this has become a song and dance with his fiery tempered, Irish wife.

Seconds later, she’s practically stomping in the living room, their daughter in hand who is most definitely old enough to remember this little spat. He cackles to himself. How unfortunate.

However, Becky’s enraged gaze is focused on him, disgust plastered all over. “Were you even listenin’ to me?”

He makes a sound, unbothered eyes falling on her, that infamous smile growing. “Of course, dear.”

Becky, however, knows better. Has been with this man long enough to know better. And she’s done. “Ya know, I thought you were getting better, yeah? But then that bloke Breaker comes over here looking for you, and I—” Becky cuts herself off, refusing to start yelling with her daughter in her arms. Her accent is even thicker, as she shares while adjusting the bag on her other shoulder, “I’m gonna go stay with Charlotte til’ I can figure out just what I’m gonna do.”

What she’s not saying is that she’ll stay with her closest American friend until she can find the funds and resources to move back home.

She’s just done.

Seth, however, seems unconcerned by the fact that she’s leaving with their kid. “Okay, dear.” He snorts, falling into that all too familiar maniacal laugh. The one that typically accompanies the reckless and dangerous behavior that has her packed and ready to go. It was one thing when it was just the two of them, but with a child now, Becky has a responsibility to keep her daughter safe.

And there is nothing safe about her husband rekindling ties with the Nightmare Factory.

Not wanting him to see the pending tears, Becky kisses her daughter’s cheek and heads for the door, not allowing herself to hesitate as she rips it open only for her jaw to drop.

She scoffs. Unbelievable. With even more support for her decision to leave, Becky looks over her shoulder at her husband who climbs to his feet. “First the Nightmare Factory, and now the fuckin’ Bloodline?” She shakes her head. “Yeah, you dig your own fuckin’ grave, Seth.”

And with that, she moves past the figures, determined to not look back this time.

Meanwhile, a massive smile grows on Seth’s unshaven face, delight dancing in his dark eyes.

This is certainly proving to be such an eventful day.

He practically stumbles over but manages to stand firm as he takes a swig of his beer, burping loudly and then asking with all of the excitement, evil smile on his face.

“How can I help you?”

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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lorelune · 1 year ago

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lobotomy commission

|| jing yuan x gn!reader || T || love sick hopefully lovers || wc: 3.9k || ao3 ||

The Xianzhou Alliance has... never allowed lobotomies? Why are you so insistent on receiving one?

(The General, the Divine Foresight.)

minors, antis, and ageless blogs dni

a/n: oh mister general jing yuan you have me so damn heart eyes. here's a lil sweet treat!!!!

CW: fluff, friends to lovers, jing yuan being a bit silly, alcohol consumption, FLUFF, a bit of crack being taken seriously

"Lady Fu, I need to be put down." Your cheek hits the low table. You feel pathetic. It's a Thursday and you're teary-eyed after far too little wine to be in such a state. You sniffle.

"No one is 'putting you down'!" Fu Xuan huffs from the other side, patting your arm. "It's rare that you’re this mopey. What’s troubling you?"

"I am not 'mopey'. I need a lobotomy. Which of the commissions would handle this procedure?"

Lady Fu frowns, clicks her tongue, and sighs your name, “A lobotomy, really?

"Yes, exactly. As soon as possible, preferably.” You down the rest of your cup and restlessly flip your phone screen up.

"This is particularly pathetic. Stop drinking and wallowing and just tell me what's wrong."

"Fu Xuan, you will scold me." You push yourself up on the table and shake your head. "No, actually, you will fire me. You will send me to my office this very instant, force me to pack up my things, and turn in my permissions. I'll be out of a job. Then, I'll be homeless. then—"

"No, nuh-uh, no more dramatics!" Fu Xuan slaps a hand over your mouth. You're glad you’re seated in a private corner of the bar, as this is a rather pathetic display on both of your parts. "Please just tell me, what’s the matter?”

Your dilemma.

"I like the General."

Fu Xuan frowns, expression pinched, and her hand falls heavily onto the table. "That... isn’t exactly new information? Even if it’s a... questionable call of taste, the general is handsome. Occasionally charming when he isn’t being an oaf on purpose. I don’t think having a bit of a crush on the Divine Foresight is anything unusual. Half of the population of the Luofu holds the same opinion.

“Okay, but,” you unlock your phone, a ceramic, cat-shaped charm swinging from the vase as you wobble. “What if the General were to return my feelings? And he invited me for a walk and a meal tomorrow evening?”

Fu Xuan's jaw drops. "You're joking."

"I'm not,” you whine and slide your phone across the table.

...

Divine Foresight 🦁:

Are you free tomorrow evening? I know a terrace that has a splendid view of the overlook near the Cinnabar Eyeline. I would be delighted to take you to it and share a meal after,

Divine Foresight 🦁:

If you'll have me :3c

...

“Oh... wow.” Fu Xuan looks shocked. It’s hard to shock her, but she does tend to avoid divining the destiny of those she is close to (unless entirely necessary.) Her intuition regardless of mathematics and astral geometry is, however, keen. Yet her eyes are wide and she struggles to gather her words. “What a menace.”

“I know.”

“The General is rarely so forward. I’ve never heard of him being so forward.”

“I know.”

“Except, perhaps—”

“With me?” You rub your cheeks. They’re warm from the wine.

“Only you. Though this is particularly... telling. I’m sure it’s sincere.”

“I would agree.” Your stomach flutters, and you swallow the feeling down.

Fu Xuan narrows her eyes and says your name, mouth in a thin line, "You haven't replied."

“And that’s why I need the lobotomy.” You swallow. “I’m going to turn him down.”

“WHAT?!”

You need another drink.

Fu Xuan clearly does not. Her cheeks flush rosy pink as she slaps her hands on the low table. “Why would you reject him? Even if he’s a scoundrel— he is genuine.”

“I know, that’s why I can’t accept his... proposition.”

Despite knowing that Jing Yuan serially denies any potential suitors or daring admirers. You know that it has always been like this— from the time long ago when he first gained rank, to his ‘withered age’ as he self-deprecating refers to himself now. He is always kind about his rejections, you’ve witnessed one or two of them, but he never even entertains the idea of romantic partnership. You’ve never heard him mention it or any desires.

So, for him to so bluntly ask you on a date—

He couldn’t be more clear with his feelings.

“You’re a fool.”

“Now, you’re getting it.” You pour yourself another glass of plum wine. Your shared bottle is nearly empty. “This is why I need the lobotomy.”

Fu Xuan watches you drink your glass in a single go. Her brows are pinched and her arms are crossed. Her shoulders sag a moment later.

“I do believe I understand your reasoning, and I don’t think it’s lobotomy-worthy.”

“... High praise.”

“[Name].”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry.” You laugh behind your palm. The world feels sticky and bouncy, all at once. You crave the respite of your own bed. “I can’t accept his proposition in the form of a text. I mean, Lady Fu, he's the most powerful man on the Luofu. He is renowned in all fields of battle, strategic, and social graces. He’s kind. He probably like, kisses babies on Sundays at the markets."

"He does not."

"You never know!" You groan. "That's all to say that I won't accept an invitation to a date with this little effort put into it."

"... Because it's a text?"

"Because it's a text." You nod.

Fu Xuan pauses, then sighs.

“I can’t decide if that makes you a fool or not.” Her hair is frizzing up with the humidity. "Perhaps you have a point, the General is old enough to know and have some decorum when going about these things."

"Maybe he's a virgin? But like, for dating."

"I'd have to check... certain records. Archives. To confirm or deny that."

You wilt, “He probably isn’t. I’m being foolish.”

“No, you’re not.” Fu Xuan smooths a hand over your cheek with a frown.

"Lady Fu," you cry and wish you were at home. In bed. Maybe you should block his number. "You're supposed to say, 'You absolutely are, my most beloved junior, I will schedule your lobotomy and—’"

"No more talk of lobotomies, please."

"Fine, fine." you sigh and finish off your final cup as Lady Fu does as well. "Do you think I'm nuts for turning him down?"

"... No, I don't." Fu Xuan looks shy for a moment. A lot more human than her lofty station implies. "I don't doubt that... Jing Yuan has feelings for you. I see how he looks at you. But he ought to romance you a bit. A text is low effort. You should reply regardless though."

"I'm going to, I just needed some courage. And moral support." You give her a soft smile and tap back into your messages. Fu Xuan practically crawls around the table to your side. She leans her head on your shoulders and her eyes droop. You take a heavy inhale, then exhale, attempt to focus your blurry vision and craft.

...

You:

General, though I'm flatered by your offer, I will need to decline. Though I will ackknowledge what I would imagine (and hope)) to be your genun

You:

geuine

You:

gennuie

You:

genuine

You:

feelings, I cannot accept an invitation in the form of a text message. I must be wooed.

You:

lady Fuu says "if you are capable of such things"

You:

pls don't fire her she's a good boss and so nice

You:

[picture from XX/XX/XXXX @ 2:14 AM]

...

The next morning is hell. Hell. You wished you had undergone your requested lobotomy. It certainly feels like someone has stuck metal rods into your brain, with the migraine pounding the back of your eyes. Maybe a hangover this bad is somewhat equivalent to a lobotomy. Your memory of your night prior is... cloudy, to say the least. Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth as you manage to down a glass of water and a handful of peachy-colored pills. You speed walk to the Divination Commission, shooting Fu Xuan an apologetic “sorry, running late, forgive me 🙏" text.

You mentally pat your drunk self on the back. After you sent your... rejection (ouch) to the General, you muted his messages and deleted the thread. No evidence, no way to feel awkward about it sober. And no way to dwell on it either. Besides, you hardly remember what you said to him after your last glass of wine. It’s hazy in your memory.

It was... perhaps a foolish way to go about things. You certainly could have approached the General and talked about it, but he sometimes spoke in circles about matters of the heart. Maybe... maybe you felt too fragile to dance that dance, if it came to that. Maybe, you were a bit overwhelmed by his invitation. You know all too well that he does not let himself be pursued. He does not pursue others.

You feel blind-sided by the whole thing.

But that doesn’t matter— because you cleanly rejected him and your only repercussion is a hangover that you’re sure Fu Xuan is twinning.

And besides, it’s better that you rejected him. He’s of such a high— highest station. He wouldn’t have time for you, surely. You... have gotten used to your entirely and completely platonic, twice-a-month lunch dates and the occasional star chess lesson (where he never lets you win but you swear you'll give him a run for his money.) But it's fine. You can let go of those things, along with your feelings for the General.

It's better this way.

You think these thoughts somewhat confidently until you arrive at the Divination Commission and find a crowd swarming the central platform under the Matrix of Prescience Ultima. Frowning, you try to weave through the edge of it to your office, where you conveniently have a few nutrition shakes stashed away that you most certainly need. You’re already late and this hangover needs to go. You have a full docket for the day that you need to make fuller so you don’t think about—

You nearly stumble when you hear a rich, familiar, roll of laughter. You freeze, slowly turning to the sound. A crown of fluffy hair peaks above the small crowd, a red ribbon waving in the breeze.

Absolutely fucking not.

You duck, just in case, and try to creep below the crowd. You probably look ridiculous, but you absolutely cannot see Jing Yuan. You can’t. Your poorly-thought out, hungover plan of not caring about the General does somewhat heavily rely on not seeing the man. You trip over over your own feet and barely catch yourself so as to not tumble to the ground.

Jing Yuan calls your name and

You freeze before jolting to your full height a moment later. The gaggle of your coworkers part enough so that you’re able to see him— lit so well and handsomely in the morning sun, smiling so easily with... perhaps a hint of mischief in the curve of his lips.

He waves with his free hand, while a massive bouquet is pillowed in the crook of his arm.

The flowers are beautiful— off-ship exotics, clearly. The colors are all bright oranges and vibrant blues. Thinner stems are topped with bundles of white, delicate flowers that break the barrage of colors. They look fresh, like they’d been cut this morning. Fu Xuan stands next to him, clearly hungover herself and close to popping a blood vessel. It’s incredibly rare that the General do anything in the mornings, especially causing a commotion in the Divination Commission.

Jing Yuan, who is more than likely aware of this, looks entirely unbothered. Actually, he glows as he calls your name, gentle and rich, and the sound of it hits you in the chest, “There you are.”

"Here I am." You're not. You need that lobotomy. You nod to him curtly, "General. Is there something I can help you with today?"

Fu Xuan looks like she’s going to expire right there on the platform.

Jing Yuan cocks his head knowingly, “There is, yes. I have a rather personal matter to discuss in private with you. Are you available?”

You have things on your schedule. You can make yourself appear busy, if it means not dealing with the General you can’t really hide from and the beautiful bouquet in his arms. “Well—”

“They’re free.” Fu Xuan all but pushes you toward him. You regret covering her tab the night before. “Especially free, since I’ll be rescheduling our weekly meeting to tomorrow.”

“Is that really necessary—?” You laugh and wring your hands. You feel caught in the worst way. “General, will this personal discussion take much time? I am quite busy today—”

Jing Yuan, who has been watching your exchange with Fu Xuan wordlessly, looks a bit... crestfallen. It’s hard to tell on a man who holds himself like the General, but it’s there. A crease between his brows that’s slight, but visible and abnormal. Maybe he’s holding the bouquet a little tighter than he probably thought. There’s a sheen of sweat on his temple that, if asked, he would probably blame on the heat index for the day.

Your words die in your throat as you take him in and force yourself to meet his gaze. Honeyed and sad, a bit like a kicked dog.

“... I suppose, I could arrange a proper appointment with you. Perhaps it was uncouth of me to expect such accommodations to be made for me last minute. I apologize.” You can hear his tone change. It may be imperceptible to someone else, but you notice the shift in him. Gone is the playful lilt and air of mischief, on his a veneer of niceties that you... had forgotten he loses around you.

Something in your chest aches.

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Floundering. Jing Yuan adjusts his hold on the bouquet—

“Enough of this.” Lady Fu shakes her head. She shoos a hand toward the lingering onlookers. “Back to work, now. Don’t eavesdrop either. I’ll know if you do.”

(Debatable, but it’s Fu Xuan’s favorite threat.)

Once the crowd has dispersed, she turns toward you too. You needed that lobotomy, like, yesterday.

“I will make the necessary changes to your schedule so you can speak privately for as long as you need." She points at you, then Jing Yuan. “Sort this.”

The General raises an eyebrow at her. She’s bold to speak in such a way to someone above her own station, but Lady Fu doesn't dare back down. She glares at him, then you, partially covering her mouth to block Jing Yuan’s view before mouthing, “FIX THIS!!!!”

...

On the way to your office, you walk side by side, in silence. You’re trying to think of the right words to say.

“... Are you sure you have time for this, General?” You ask him, softly. “I don’t mean to ask as a slight— just— I don’t want to inconvenience you is all.”

“Of course.” He replies easily. You turn down the long, quiet corridor that leads to your office. It’s tucked away in a corner of the divination Commission, facing outward toward the Arbor’s stump with tall windows providing a sunlit view. You’re glad you don’t have to look at him as you unlock the door with a thick-looking key. “This is a rather pertinent, time-sensitive matter we’re discussing. My own schedule is not consequential in this case. Haste, moreso.”

You laugh under your breath.

“Great Lan, Qingzu is going to kill me.” You sigh before pushing the door open with a shake of your head. Perhaps a smile curls on your lips. Who’s to say. “Did you at least not leave a pile of paperwork for her to delegate in your stead?”

“And what, diminish the time I have for my afternoon nap with busy work?” Jing Yuan laughs. The sound fills you from the bottom up and you want to choke on it. You tear your gaze away from him. “Such a thing would be unhealthy, you know. I’m an old man.”

“An old man who needs an ample amount of beauty sleep.” You tease him, it’s easy to. You speak before you even have a chance to think about the warm nature of your words. The meaning behind the bouquet in his arms that he still hasn’t given to you.

Why Jing Yuan is in your office at all.

“... If this is about my texts my last night—”

“It is, partially.” Jing Yuan hums. “I’m afraid I’ve slighted you, and it’s of the utmost importance I correct my transgression.”

“That’s— That’s not necessary, General.” Your cheeks burn.

“It is. Entirely, in fact. Stating my intentions with you over text messages was... a poor choice on my part. I must apologize appropriately, don’t you think?

“I mean— that’s—” Your words flounder in your mouth. “Kind of you.”

It is kind of him. He certainly doesn’t need to be here, in your cramped office, with a bouquet that costs close to what you make in a day of work. He doesn’t need to be showing a sincere, lovesick smile as he speaks. He’s showing you a card he’s kept close to his chest. One you, perhaps, guessed he had, but hadn’t intended to ever see.

He presents you with the bouquet, “You said you must be wooed, and I am here to begin that process explicitly.”

"... I said what?" You’re going to burst into flames.

“I thought you may not recall your exact words. Did you and Lady Fu have a fun night together?” Jing Yuan chuckles, and you flush so hot you feel almost faint. “You said that I must, and I quote, ‘woo you’.”

He smiles at you, the glint in his eye a bit more mischievous. More knowing. He’s toying with you.

“I— no— I’m so sorry, General.” You cover your face with your hands and back into your desk. “Forget I said that. Please forget I said anything.”

“Please, use my name.” He corrects, gently. “I’d prefer not to forget. You have a point, I should have stated my intentions clearly and to you in person.”

You peek at him between your fingers. He still holds the bouquet out to you, like he’s trying to lure a cagey cat in for a pet rather than make a confession. You feel out of sorts. Off kilter. That said— it is nice to hear him in person. Your heart has been oscillating between fluttering and pounding.

Jing Yuan tilts his head sweetly at you. You take the bouquet from him and examine it closer. There’s yellow and lilac pollen dusted on the filaments, fresh and fragrant.

“Jing Yuan, then.” You reply to him, softly. It’s hardly the first time you’ve called him by his name, rather than a title, but he preens when you speak regardless. “... So, you intend to woo me then?”

“Entirely.” Jing Yuan hums to himself, looking quite proud. “I do fully recant my offer I sent previously. Though I would be happy to lounge with you in the terraces and see some lovely views, I’ve secured a reservation for this evening at a lovely restaurant in the Exalting Sanctum, if you would accompany me.”

Your stomach flips pleasantly. You can’t help the little smile that’s twitching over your lips. You take care to not crush the bouquet in your arms, despite the urge to squeeze it to your chest, just to tamp down the thumping of your heart. Stroking your thumb over the silken petal of lush, round-petaled bloom, you let yourself smile.

You can practically hear Jing Yuan holding his breath. His eyes look hopeful and young.

“I accept,” you reply. “Consider me wooed.”

“It was that easy?” Jing Yuan’s voice takes that air of smugness that you know is a farce but you still can’t help but to approach him and bat your hands at his chest.

“I already like you, you know,” You laugh. “I was more offended that you wouldn’t face me and tell me your intentions. I hardly know the General to be a coward. I was a bit slighted.”

Jing Yuan catches your wrists in one of his hands and gently holds them against your sternum. His fingers lay over the thump of your heart; you wonder if he can feel it. You feel pleasantly woozy when you meet his eyes and all their intensity. Intention.

“I apologize.” He speaks smoothly, easily. Perhaps ducking his head down to be closer to your own. “It’s quite difficult to proposition someone so beautiful and kind.”

“Ah, so the General was hiding behind a screen, then?” You laugh over the heat rising in your cheeks. “I’ve never known you to be a coward.”

Jing Yuan hums, and you pop up on the corner of your desk. He’s close enough to feel the heat of him, and see the threading of his uniform and the glitter woven into the rich fabrics.

“Hm, I wouldn’t say it has anything to do with cowardice.” Jing Yuan shakes his head. His breath is warm over your cheeks. “I planned to tell you my intentions of courting you at the Terraces, once you accepted. I, perhaps, was too presumptuous in expecting you to assume beyond my initial ask. I should have been more clear.”

You stifle a laugh and flex your hands, still held in his firm, but kind grip.

“Jing Yuan, if you continue to speak to me so directly, I’ll demand you take me out now and not this evening.”

“Is that so?”

“Entirely.” You struggle to maintain eye contact and not let your gaze drift down to his lips. “I’m not used to you speaking so clearly, only your riddles.”

“What riddles?” He tilts his head, curly, a sweet smile on his face that is far too mischievous for who he is expected to be.

“Oh, you know—”

“Do I?” Jing Yuan asks. He steps between your thighs, the width of him forcing your legs wider. As if your flush could be any more intense. “You must tell me more over lunch. I’ll send a message to Lady Fu and clear your schedule?”

“... She did say to take as long as we need to sort this,” You soften, a bit intimated, if only for a moment. “Is this sorted?”

Jing Yuan hums, “You did say you were wooed. I’d consider that fairly sorted.”

“And you’ll have me?” You ask him, daring to slide your arms over his shoulders. The contact bubbles up months of tension over Star Chess boards (during games that, perhaps, were not entirely platonic).

“I’d be honored.” Jing Yuan’s voice sounds sweet, more quiet than you’ve heard before, like it’s just for you to hear.

There’s an edge to it all still— something raw and new that will need to be tempered. That is the nature of immortality and the relationships and partnerships that come with it. Complexes develop, heal, and grow differently within the self. You’ve already gamed out a few of Jing Yuan’s (a cursed Master who he will only reference in melancholy, unrequited love he was too young for, so many tragedies that he somehow manages to give himself for not preventing). He is perceptive. You’re sure he has put together some of yours as well.

For now, there’s a promise of good things. There’s the feel of him pressing his lips to yours, gentle but unyielding, strung with a mutual yearning that, in retrospect, would’ve been a shame to crush and hide away. There’s the warmth of him so close, and closer still when you drag him closer by the nape of his neck.

You can feel his grin against your lips, and you mirror it easily.

No riddles, only a fragrant bouquet and intention.

#lore writes #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #jing yuan reader insert #hsr x reader #im very in love with him #he is so husband #feeling very soft and yearning about him lately AAAAH #enjoy :''^)

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binarisunset · 2 months ago

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I think a lot of people in the fandom don’t give credit to how smart and capable Sejanus actually is.

It gets swept under the rug because a lot of his actions during Parts I and II may seem irrational and impulsive, but that’s only because we’re seeing them through Coriolanus’s eyes, who of course can’t empathize with the misery he’s going through by being forced to participate in the Games (and as a mentor to a former friend, no less); and the way it makes him act that way.

But in Part III? When he’s finally free from the games and the Capitol? He thrives. He instantly becomes friends with his bunkmates, with other peacekeepers, with the Covey. He adjusts to District 12 like he’s always belonged there.

When Coriolanus needed help to find out where Lucy Gray lived, Sejanus is the one that gets the information for him –anticipating Coriolanus himself. Discretely, because he correctly deduces that Coriolanus wouldn’t want other people to know they were looking for her.

It’s also Sejanus the one who gets him to the Covey’s place, taking charge of their trip there, asking around for directions and guiding them through the Seam. We know damn well Coriolanus would’ve never reached the place by himself.

And most impressively, he managed to infiltrate a rebel plot without any of the peacekeepers noticing it. And I’m not counting Coriolanus because the only reason he realized Sejanus was involved in something shady was because he was obsessively watching his every move (and literally went through Sejanus’ stuff behind his back to find some dirt on him). If Coriolanus really didn’t care about Sejanus like he proclaimed to, he would’ve been none the wiser to the rebel plan, just as their other bunkmates and fellow peacekeepers were.

Sejanus knew how to lie, how to play his cards right. Spruce wouldn’t have trusted him with the escape plan if he thought Sejanus was incapable of handling it.

When the murders happen, he doesn’t panic —he’s shocked (understandably so), but he’s able to remain calm.

What I’m getting at is — give my boy his flowers! And recognize that he’s not this helpless, emotional boy who constantly needs saving. That’s what Coriolanus thinks. He was a smart, capable young man who was willing to lie and get his hands dirty for something he believed in. Give him credit where credit is due.

#sejanus plinth #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #tbosas #tbosas meta #I guess??#*#yall keep falling into Coriolanus’ incorrect assessment of sejanus #it’s driving me crazy

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pitchsidestories · 5 months ago

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searching for hope II Lucy Bronze x Reader

masterlist I word count: 3426

a/n: hi, it's inspired by this request here, we hope you like it despite the heavy topic.

warnings: career ending injury, sadness, but with a fluffy ending

Suddenly, the whole Estadi Johan Cruyff fell silent when they heard your scream echoing against the walls of the Barca femeni’s home. Everyone who saw you sink to the ground after a bad tackle from your opponent turned pale.

Yes, the tackle from the other player was bad, but what was more unnerving in their eyes was the way you hold on to your knee. This was always a bad sign and something people who followed women’s football grew all too familiar with over the past years. It sends a shiver down the spine of the home fans and your beloved teammates.

It has been an ordinary league game so far, it wasn’t an important one, your team was already leading with three goals and yet you found yourself laying on the pitch. The pain your body was in felt almost unbearable.

“Hey! Don’t move!”, Lucy yelled, looking deeply worried at you while she knelt beside you, taking a hand of yours in hers. Your girlfriend normally tried to keep your relationship as private as possible, but her concern for you threw the normal behaviour out of the window.

“Lucy?”, you mumbled, the tears streaming down your face made your vision turn blurry, but you would always recognize your lover’s voice.

“They’re getting the stretcher.”, Lucy informed you calmy, from the outside the English woman might still look like her professional, tough self, but inside she was falling apart. Seeing you in this state of agony broke her heart.

“Lucy, you need to let her go, the medics are taking care of her now.”, Alexia smiled empathetically at the older player.

“I’ll come and check on you later, okay?”, your girlfriend whispered into your ear before releasing her protective grip from you with a heavy heart.

Instead of speaking you just nodded, signalizing that you heard her, as the medical staff was taking you off the pitch. Even though you closed your eyes you could feel Lucys gaze lingering on you until you were inside the ambulance. The sound of clapping hands from your team and the fans warmed your heart.

“That was bad. She was white as a ghost.”, the defender whispered, the shock of your terrible injury was written all over her.

“Don’t think about it right now, focus on the game, Lucy.”, Keira responded.

“I’m focused.”, Lucy shrugged it off.

Looking at the time, she added:” It’s only ten more minutes anyway.”

Turned out, these were the longest ten minutes in her whole career.

She never felt more relieved when the referee blew the final whistle. As fast as the English woman could she packed her things to travel to your hospital bed.

“Hey, how are you?”, Lucy asked you still out of breath.

“It hurts so much, Lucy.”, you replied in an honest tone, you hated how you sounded, so weak, normally you were known to be a woman who could handle her pain.

“I know. But it will get better.“, Lucy promised as she sat down on the side of your bed.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head: “No, they said it might end my career…“

Lucy shook her head determinedly: “They can’t know that yet! We don’t even know what it is!“

“It’s my knee.“, you said, your voice choked with tears. You took a deep breath to gather yourself before you added: “Isn’t it weird? We already worried about your knee and here we are…“

If you were not as overwhelmed with the situation, you might have laughed about the irony. You girlfriends knee had been troubling her for some time now so you had prepared for the event that she would have to retire.

What you had failed to include in your plans was the fact that injuries could happen at any time and football careers could be cut short by them.

“We’re not at the point for this conversation yet.“, Lucy replied with stubborn hopefulness.

You sighed: “I know… but I have a bad feeling…“

Lucy took your hand in hers, squeezing encouragingly: “That doesn’t have to mean anything.“

It took days of different tests and scans until you finally had your diagnosis. You had been able to tell what would follow from the look on the doctors face before he even said a word.

It got too real too fast. You were suddenly faced with the fact that your life would never be the same again, the dream that you had spend years working so hard for turned to ash right in front of you on a random Tuesday afternoon.

“Luce, could you please leave me alone for a moment?“, you begged. There were no tears yet, just emptiness.

Your girlfriend rubbed circles on your healthy knee with her thumb: “Y/n, please…“

“We just got told that I can never play again. Go!“, you shouted at her.

Lucy only frowned at you: “We can find another doctor. There’s always a way.“

“Not right now. Leave!“, you instructed her once more, this time as collected as you were capable of.

Reluctantly she got up and left the room without another word.

Only then your tears began to fall and realization set in.

Outside of your hospital room, your teammates were impatiently waiting for any news.

“What did the doctor say, Lucy?“, Mapi asked as soon as English defender stepped out. The heads of the other players snapped up immediately.

Lucy looked at Fridolina, Aitana, Ingrid and Alexia and shook her head. “He pretty much told her that her career is over. She didn’t even have the surgery yet!“

Ingrid blinked down at the bouquet of lilies in her hands, her lip trembling: “And all we got her are her favourite flowers…“

“She’ll still appreciate them.”, your girlfriend reassured her with a sad smile on her lips.

“Yes, but we didn’t thought this could be a career ending injury-“, the team captain explained, but even she was at a loss for words, nothing what the midfielder could say felt appropriate, you weren’t that old yet, and the thought of you never playing for Barca Femeni again was terrible to her.

Alexia could feel a lump in her throat as she was thinking about you, normally you’d have so many years left in the beautiful game.

“Her scream will haunt me in my dreams, it was awful.”, Fridolina confessed, biting her lip.

“This will be a hard time for her.”, Aitana whispered, visibly moved by the news about your injury as the Swede hugged her.

“As well as for Lucia.”, Mapi predicted.

“I’m fine.”, Lucy tried to comfort her teammates with her reply.

“No, we’re here for you both.��, Alexia clarified.

Your teammates stayed true to their words, whenever one of you had a bad day, they made sure that someone was there for you or Lucy.

A day before the surgery your girlfriend made sure she was at home. The defender and you were laying on the sofa, her strong arms were wrapped around you, making you feel very safe and comforted despite the rising nervousness.

“Are you ready for it, love?”, Lucy asked you attentively.

“I am ready.”, you nodded, while she was running a hand through your open hair which you knew she loved a lot.

“Maybe things will change once it’s healed.”, the older woman thought out loud, her voice full of optimism.

“Yes, maybe. But you know what we need right now?”, you changed the subject to something more light-hearted.

Smiling your girlfriend watched you while you were making two cappuccinos for both of you, with a sprinkle of hot chocolate powder on top of it. The delicious scent filled your whole living room, mirroring the peaceful atmosphere of this afternoon.

“Did you perfect your latte art while I was in training.”, Lucy rose an eyebrow in amusement.

“Possible. Narla loved it because she got a lot of milk foam in the process.”, you winked at her laughing, as the dark-haired player took a few sips from the hot drink, closing her eyes with relish.

“At least it had something positive for one of us.”, the defender smirked, meanwhile the West Highland Terrier has been taking your place, so she received her daily dose of cuddles. You could never get tired of the sight of these two, which had a huge place in your heart.

“And you got a delicious cup of coffee at the end too.”, you reminded her. More serious you added:” Missed me at training?”

“Yeah. Everyone’s asking how you are.”, Lucy cleared her throat.

“I miss them too.“, you admitted. “They’re more than teammates, you know?“

Your girlfriend nodded slowly, in quiet understanding: “I know.“

“Of course you do. Sorry.“ Your gaze shifted towards the contents of your cup.

Lucys hand appeared on your healthy knee, rubbing light circles with her thumb. “No, I appreciate them for their support.“

You looked back and managed a slight smile: “Me too, them and you.“

The defender shrugged casually: “That’s the least thing I can do for you.“

Before you could assure her that she already did more than necessary, Narla jumped on your lap and started to lick your face.

Giggling, you pulled back: “Oh, apologies, Narla. You’re doing a great job too.“

You rewarded the little dog with some pets while Lucy laughed: “Don’t forget your biggest supporter.“

“Never,“

“I’m sure she will take good care of you after the surgery.“, Lucy joked.

You pushed any thought about the surgery away. For now, you just wanted to enjoy the calm afternoon with your two favourites.

You did not remember much about your surgery day until you woke up from anaesthesia. You were confused and tired and you heard people talking all around you. It took you a while to recognize the familiar voices.

“Luce, it’s going to be alright.“ That was Mariona.

“I can only hope so.“, you heard your girlfriend say, her voice was full of worry.

“She’s a fighter.“, Mapis voice promised in the darkness.

“She is.“

“See?“

You finally found the energy to open your eyes. Your teammates all stared back at you. Slowly blinking, you had to clear your throat. It felt disgustingly dry.

“Girls? Hi…“, you managed to say hoarsely.

Mapi smiled: “Hi.“

“Love, you’ve done it.“ Lucy carefully took your hand in hers, studying your face closely.

You frowned: “I didn’t do anything.“

“Yes, you did.“, Lucy remained stubborn.

“The doctors were working.“

You were too tired for an argument so you were grateful when Ingrid changed the subject: “How do you feel? Are you thirsty? We got water and some snacks for you.“

“I’m okay. Water sounds great right now…“, you replied truthfully and were immediately handed a glass of water by the Norwegian.

“Here you go.“

You took a sip. Your throat already felt so much better. “Thanks, Ingrid.“

“You’re welcome.“

“They didn’t say anything, right? If the surgery went well and stuff?“, Lucy interrupted. You just blinked at your girlfriend in confusion. Hadn't she just been watching you wake up?

“I’ve not spoken to them yet…“, you replied.

“That’s okay. I can do that for you. You need to rest now.“

It was only when your teammates had left and you had time to recover why Lucy was so nervous about the outcome of the surgery.

But both of your hopes were crushed several hours later in the same hospital room by a stern looking doctor. He confirmed that the recovery process would be hard and your injury would very likely end your professional career.

“Love?”, Lucy started gently.

“Yes?”, you looked up, still too shocked by the recent confirmation.

“Maybe we should let a second doctor check your knee.”, she suggested cautiously.

“Okay.”, you agreed, too exhausted to say anything more than that, while the defender kissed your hand lightly.

“Maybe there’s still a chance.”, your girlfriend more optimistically than she actually felt. But Lucy wanted to be strong for you even though the news saddened her almost as much as you.

It was after the third time you tried another doctor who was only repeating the diagnosis you heart right from the start that you exploded in front of her:” I had enough, Lucy. No more doctor visits because of it, I can’t do this anymore.”

You could see the shock on the English woman’s face. It was so unlike you to go after her like this.

“Maybe there is one out there that can fix your knee.”, your girlfriend mumbled, still too stunned about the way you reacted.

“Are you even listening to me?”, you yelled frustrated at her unshaken optimism despite the bad news.

“I am. But I’m not ready for you to end your career yet.”, Lucy declared stubbornly.

Her belief was something which ignited a little spark of hope inside you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said what you did next:” The recovery just begun, so maybe we should take it one step at a time.”

“Okay, fine.”, the defender agreed.

But rehab turned out to be physically and mentally tough for you and the people who loved you. On an especially hard day in the gym, you begged Mapi who was there as well to not call Lucy to pick you up. Simply because your girlfriend was already doing so much for you in everyday life.

“Why not? She can just pick you up.”, the Spaniard shrugged.

“No, she can’t see me like this.”, you frantically shook your head.

The face of your teammate softened. She paused for a moment before asking you.

“Do you really think she cares?”

“All she cares about is my comeback, Mapi. What if the doctors are right, do you think Luce would break up?”, it suddenly broke out of you, the fears which had a hold on you since the recovery started, were put into words for the first time. Before they only lived in your head.

“No. There’s no way.”, Mapi promptly answered without a second thought.

“Like whom am I when this ends?”, you continued, a sad smile appeared on your lips.

The defender stroke your back empathetically: “You’re still you. You’re more than a football player. Always remember that.”

The darkness you had felt earlier was feeling a little lighter through the kind words of your friend. It was like there was a light at the end of the tunnel, you could almost reach it with your hand.

You gently placed your hand on Mapis thigh and forced yourself to look at her: “We need to meet up for a coffee soon. I need to see something else than the gym…“

“Tell me when and where.“, your teammate replied, giving you an encouraging smile.

“I’ll.“, you said with genuine anticipation.

Excitedly, Mapi suggested: “I can bring Ingrid.“

“Sounds great.“

“We’re happy to distract you.“

You just smiled at the defender. Even though this phase of your life was not the easiest, the love and compassion you got from your teammates made it bearable.

When you got home, Lucy was already waiting for you impatiently. The expression on her face already told you everything, you needed to know. You suppressed a sigh.

“Mapi told me what you said to her earlier…“, Lucy began.

“Did she?“ It was more a statement than a question.

“Yes.“

“We were just talking.“, you tried your best to calm Lucys worries.

“You should have asked me to pick you up.“, Lucy insisted, anger mixing into her voice.

You had no energy to fight now. “It was fine. You already do so much, I don’t want to be a burden to you.“

Your girlfriend rolled her eyes: “Oh, please.“

“What?“

“Stop being like that. You know I want to help you.“

“I just told you that you’re already helping!“ You sighed with annoyance.

Lucys voice went quieter as she said: “Not in the important moments…“

“Luce…“ You bridged the gap between the two of you, unsure of what to do next.

“Just call me next time.“

“I’ll.“, you promised.

“Thanks.“

Carefully, you wrapped your arms around Lucy. She leaned into the hug, the crease between her eyebrows softening. You locked eyes with her: “I love you.“

Lucys lips moved in an attempt to reply but she was interrupted by a high-pitched whimper.

You both looked down to see Narla sitting at your feet.

“And you too of course, Narla.“, you laughed.

Lucys features finally relaxed: “Let me make you some dinner. Maybe that can save your day.“

“Yours definitely does.“, you grinned, only then realizing how hungry you were.

With a wink, your girlfriend pulled out of the hug: “I’ll make your fav.“

“Thank you.“ You kissed her cheek, full of gratefulness.

As promised, you met Mapi and Ingrid at a small café the next morning. You were chatting about your recovery and the latest team news. Ingrid was in the middle of explaining how Martas shoes had disappeared from the changing room when Mapi took a sip of coffee and started coughing.

Ingrid looked at her girlfriend in concern, stopping herself mid-setence.

“Oh my god. That coffee is awful, y/n. The one you make is so much better.“, Mapi grimaced.

“Mapi, be quiet!“, Ingrid told her girlfriend quickly. She looked around the café sheepishly in hopes that no one had heard her girlfriend slandering their coffee.

Mapi shrugged: “But it’s true.“

“Uhm thanks, I guess?”, you replied smiling amused at the Spaniards dramatics.

“She’s not wrong to be honest.”, the Norwegian admitted blushing.

“Actually, I’ve always dreamed about opening my own café, someday where Lucy could have her bar alongside.”, you confessed, your eyes looked dreamily at no one in particular.

Behind them you were daydreaming about it, you could see the welcoming, modern space, the coffee machine which everyone would spot at first sight when they entered the café, with cute different coffee cups, waiting to be filled. In the day it would serve all kinds of hot and iced drinks while in the evening your girlfriend would serve drinks.

“Oh my god, you should!”, Mapi clapped her hands excitedly. The defender was your ultimate hype woman since the injury.

“Yes, we’d never go anywhere else.”, Ingrid added grinning.

“Please! Everyone can be a coach or a pundit after retirement.”, her girlfriend basically begged you.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”, you asked them.

“Okay.”, the older woman nodded.

Step by step your daydream turned into reality over the upcoming months. As your body recovered from the big injury, the café came slowly together too. While your physical and mental wounds started to heal you felt more comfortable each day in your new role as former football player and current small business owner.

Obviously, it still hurt a little when you saw your girlfriend and teammates play, but on your private opening celebration with them you felt an inner calmness about it. You were ready for your next chapter which was still unwritten.

“Are you ready for your first customers?”, Lucy’s question took you back to the present.

“I’m ready.”, you answered, a nervous smile flitted across your face.

She pressed an encouraging kiss on your cheek, before remarking:” There they are.”

“Hi, come on in, girls.”, you waved at the entering guests cheerfully.

“Hi, this turned out so cute girls.”, Mapi noted with approval while taking everything in.

“Yes, this is so you, I love it.”, Ingrid marvelled at her surroundings.

“Thank you, I assume that you guys want two flat whites?”, hearing them praise your new project made your face lit up.

“Don’t you worry, later we’ll have some drinks to celebrate the opening properly.”, Lucy told her teammates with a cocky smile on her lips.

“We’ll stay for both. Coffee and drinks.”, the Spaniard responded happily.

“Perfect.”, you were just starting to make their coffees as slowly but surely the rest of your team was getting inside the café.

They tried to show you that their support didn’t stop because your football career has been cut short, it was still there and today you could feel it especially.

Late at night, your girlfriend and you had done the cleaning of the mess the celebration had caused. In the background slow music was playing and Lucy danced with you in the dim lit room, whispering into your ear:” I love this little life we created together.”

So did you, you searched for hope after the injury and you found it in the encouraging smiles of your friends and right here in the arms of the defender who you loved a little bit more with every passing day.

#lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze imagine #woso x reader #woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso community #woso one shot #woso oneshot #barca femeni #woso angst #alexia putellas #mapi leon #ingrid engen

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runningfrom2am · 1 year ago

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you’re losing me - r.c

summary: after standing, unwavering at Rafe's side while you took and lost the gold and the cross over and over again, you've finally had enough.

tags/warnings: angst, established relationship (rafe x reader), song fic (you're losing me, taylor swift), unedited, some swearing

wc: 1k

i feel like this is so shit bc i don't ever do oneshots but i had too bc this song is just too good- taylor swift has done it again ladies and gents

you stand at the front door of your boyfriend of seven years childhood home with an overnight bag slung over your shoulder. you haven’t been here in months, and it feels like forever. it doesn’t even feel like a home to you anymore. neither does he. you spent a long time contemplating whether to throw out everything you built together, or keep it. eventually you decided.

you take a deep breath as you bang your fist against the door, exhaling as you step back from the door and look up onto the balcony. within seconds, you see the familiar face of your boyfriend, peeking over the edge, a phone held to his ear and with his free hand he holds a finger out to you, signalling he’ll be down in a second. you nod as your eyes fall back to the door once he disappears.

“babe, what are you doing here?” rafe asks as he slings the door open, a nervous smile crossing over his face.

you step past him into the entrance of tannyhill mansion, turning to face him.

“you left me in guadeloupe, in a big empty house with nothing to do but wait for you to come back and you never did!” he freezes for a moment at your outburst before regaining his composure, shutting the door.

“i know, i’m so sorry, love, but i’m handling some business here for my dad- you know that.” he explains, reaching out and resting his hand on your shoulder.

“you’re dad actually sent me.” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. “and i see there’s not even a for sale sign on the front lawn, so really, what have you been doing?”

he rolls his eyes, simultaneously dropping his hand back to his side. “listen, i’m working on it, okay? there’s a lot to do, with the money and the cross and the gold and-“ you cut him off.

“stop!” you shout, louder than you probably intended but after weeks of hardly hearing a word from him, texts and calls going unanswered, you need him to hear you. to see you, again. you find yourself frustratedly holding your hands up next to your head. you open your eyes and look at your boyfriend, hardly recognizing the man in front of you as he stared back in shock. “enough about the stupid gold and that stupid cross! i just- i can’t take this anymore!”

“you weren’t saying it was stupid a few months ago when you helped me pull it out of the fucking ocean- and, and you didn’t say that when we got robbed at gunpoint by my sister and her stupid look boyfriend over that same gold. so don’t tell me, now, that you think it’s stupid. we almost died for that, y/n!”

“rafe, stop.” you say, calm even as he shouted back at you. at least he’s here. at least you’re talking. “you’re losing me.”

“what?” his voice is softer now, and the expression on his face tells you he’s reeling over this information. after everything you’ve been through together, everything you’ve risked and lost over this gold, he couldn’t lose you too.

“i can’t do this anymore.” you explain softly, shaking your head and looking down at his shoes. “what happened to us? we’re hurting people. i know that’s not right, but i was always doing everything for you. fighting only in your army- i just assumed we were always doing what was right but i saw the way those kids look at us. we’re monsters to them, rafe.” your eyes lock with his again as he shakes his head. “and you’re just ignoring me now. what we had is long gone.”

“no- no. i’m- we’re doing this for us. once i melt down that cross and sell it i’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted. everything we’ve fought for, it’s yours. i promise.” he insists, grabbing your shoulders and rubbing them reassuringly.

“i knew you took the cross…” you chuckle, but it lacks humour. “don’t melt it down. it belongs to pope and his family in rights, we should just give it back.”

“you’re not hearing me-“ he starts, but you cut him off again.

“no, you’re not hearing me.” you say, shaking your head. “you’ve changed. i’ve changed. we were good people, and i can’t live with myself if this is who we are now. i can’t keeping hurting people because of you, over money. it’s so stupid.”

“i don’t understand…” he says, staring deep into your eyes, his own widening at what he knew you were insinuating.

“i know you don’t.” you smile sadly in return, reaching up to cup his cheek in your palm. “you are not the boy i fell in love with in middle school. and i am not that girl anymore either. i gave you all the best versions of me, i was always here for you, but you don’t reach for me anymore.”

“no- no you can’t leave me now.” rafe says in protest, his blue eyes welling up with tears. “it’s almost done. we’re almost done and everything will go back to normal.”

you softly sigh. “i don’t think it can. i’ve shown you signs for months now- that i wasn’t happy. and every time you gave me this same speech.”

“no, y/n, i love you. you know that.” he says, grabbing your hand now and pressing your knuckles to his lips, bruises there faded while your nails had been bitten down until they bled. until this last year, he had never seen you without a fresh manicure.

“i know.” you whisper. “but i just can’t.” you shake your head, pulling away from him and stepping back towards the door.

he stays silent, watching you as you stop before you grab the handle. “say something.” you say, refusing to look back over your shoulder. the air is thick with the loss of this relationship- and rafe’s never-ending indecision.

“i don’t know what you want to hear.” he mumbles his reply.

“i only wanted you to see me.” you reply, looking back at him now. “if you choose me, then we can talk.” you say, walking out and closing the door behind you.

rafe stands in the foyer, breathing heavily as he thinks about what he should do. what he has to do.

it’s you, or the cross.

#obv the next morning the cross is sitting at pope’s doorstep #rafe cameron #obx #obx fanfic #outer banks #rafe obx #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader

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luvsellie · 2 years ago

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MASC ON [e. williams]

pairing high school au!ellie x fem!reader

summary being the new girl in school meant walking in to projects smack-dab in the middle of the year. but when you get assigned to work with the masc girl who sits next to you, there’s no hiding your blatant attraction toward her…and maybe she can’t hide her’s either.

warnings ellie and reader are 18 here (seniors in high school) !! kissing, pining (this is literally just fluff and i wanted an excuse to write for flashback el)

wc 3.9k

note this is incredibly self-indulgent and took me an embarrassing long amount of time to actually write i apologize (title inspiration from the song mask off by future)

“this is so stupid.”

ellie’s complaint compelled you to roll your eyes, a redundant sigh escaping you. “i heard you the last three times you said it.”

your deskmate slumped against the side of her bed, nimble fingers fidgeting with a slightly chewed pen as she watched you create a rough outline of the halle comet on a large poster board—she thought it was more entertaining than trying to gather the essential information your teacher had required to be provided. you could feel her eyes observing every flick and stroke of your pencil as you struggled to copy the image from your laptop.

the task had deemed itself to be more complicated than you thought, and after one more final attempt, you tossed the writing utensil to the side in frustration. “this is so stupid.”

snorting at your disgruntled attitude, ellie reached for the pencil. “how about this; i’ll draw and you get the stats. i’m dying of boredom over here.” she shuffled closer before you could object, shoving her textbook your way.

not bothering to argue, you grabbed your backpack and started to sift through the supplies you had brought along to her house. markers, pens, pencils, scissors, binder…

removing your binder from your bag you flipped it open, only to be met with other assignments and notes from varying classes. groaning, you said over a shoulder, “ellie do you have notebook paper?”

“yeah—top drawer of my desk,” she answered without looking in your direction, her short hair falling to cover the side of her face.

nodding to yourself, you shoved your things back in your bag and stood, making your way toward her desk. it was rather cluttered, which didn’t shock you in the least, but still organized in probably a way only ellie would understand.

you grabbed the first drawer’s handle and gently pulled, exposing the mess that was inside. grumbling to yourself about how ellie couldn’t possibly be able to find anything in this chaos, you began to poke through her things. managing to spot a spare journal—which you noted was not looseleaf paper like you had asked—you carefully maneuvered the notebook out from underneath all of her art supplies.

hip-thrusting the drawer shut, you flipped the journal open, eager to get on with the research you did not want to do, simply to get this project over with. but as you overturned lined pages, you came to realize this was a sketchbook—and you were the starring subject.

“ellie,” you called, eyes trained on a drawing of you slumped over a book in the school library (you recalled this day rather vividly).

the auburn-haired girl finally looked up from her spot on the carpeted floor. she quickly realized what was in your hands. “shit,” she couldn’t help but mutter in panic. ellie rushed to her feet, already reaching to take the sketchbook from you. “sorry, you weren’t supposed to-”

you said her name again, interrupting her explanation with “you would’ve saved me a lot of time had you been the one to draw that ridiculous comet from the get-go.”

ellie’s arm fell to her side, and she tried to calm her racing heart with a deep inhale. she scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, invisible strings tugging on the corners of her mouth when she realized you weren’t pissed at her. “yeah, i guess you’re right.” she paused before adding, “you’re a really shitty artist.”

your eyes flickered to hers immediately, and you snapped the journal shut before smacking her left upper arm with it. “hey! i tried my best, okay? we can’t all be as talented as you.”

“got that right,” ellie mused, her familiar easygoingness making a return. she stuck a hand out. “can i please have my sketchbook back?”

you kissed the back of your teeth, giving her a look of contemplation as you hugged the object in your hand a little closer to your chest. “mm, i don’t know. i was thinking about going through it some more. i mean, i barely got to see anything.”

ellie’s eyebrows shot up. “seriously?”

“seriously,” you told her with a nod, taking a step closer to the desk behind you.

her hand dropped, and you swore that something flashed across her face, but before you could identify what it had disappeared. maybe i’m pushing it, you thought suddenly, growing aware of the way you were holding onto something that she probably poured her heart and soul into.

across from you, ellie adjusted her stance before shrugging. “alright. have fun, i guess. i just need it back tomorrow by 6th period.”

you blinked at her words, dumbfounded by her compliance. watching her return to the poster board on the floor, you held the little journal closer, already making note of what you would be doing later when you returned home.

ellie liked to draw you. she supposed it was rather obvious, but seeing the way your eyes widened as you observed her drawings made her second guess. had she really not been that apparent? she guessed not. and while she was excited to let you take her sketchbook home, she was more nervous.

it was very hard to sleep that night, and only when the small illuminated numbers on her alarm clock struck two a.m. did she finally manage to doze off.

“you look a little…rough,” dina said, cringing at her own word choice.

ellie ran a hand through her hair as she walked beside the shorter girl. “thanks. i hadn’t noticed.”

dina ignored the jab. “i can’t believe you actually gave it to her. hell, you never even let me touch that thing…and you’ve only known her for, like, two weeks! i am feeling a little betrayed, but it’s whatever.”

“letting her look at it just…felt right? i don’t know how to explain it. she doesn’t seem like someone who’d become suddenly disgusted by me drawing her way before we ever started talking,” ellie confessed, spotting the door to her earth and space class.

“ouch.” dina grabbed ellie’s arm, pulling her to an empty wall. “first of all, i wouldn’t be disgusted by you if i was her. secondly, stop being nervous. there’s no need for all of that.”

“i’m not nervous,” she objected immediately.

the brown-eyed girl stared blankly at her. “yes, you are. you’re more fidgety than normal. just go in there, sit down, and wait for her to walk in. you said she normally gets to class practically right before the bell rings?”

“yeah, she comes from the other side of the building.”

“perfect! now go.” dina shoved her friend in the direction of the classroom, waving her off with a smile.

sighing through her nose, ellie entered the room, greeted her teacher, and visibly sagged when she noticed you weren’t in your seat yet. there’s still some time, she thought to herself, not realizing that you had walked in behind her until you said:

“hey, el, you’re kinda in the way.”

you watched as ellie turned to face you, her eyes wide as she whirled. “you got here fast,” she stated bluntly.

shrugging, you moved past her to walk toward your desk. as you sat you said, “class was in the library today since they were using our room for testing.”

ellie nodded from in front of you, still standing. you noticed how aloof she was acting. “are you gonna sit?” you asked, gesturing to the desk beside you.

“yes,” she said hastily, pulling back her chair. she landed with a thud. slouching against the back of her seat, she looked at you and continued, “you brought the poster in, right? this morning?”

your mouth pressed into a thin line. “yes, ellie, i brought the poster in. but we’re not presenting today anyway, so had i forgotten, we’d still be okay.”

“god, that is such a relief,” she sighed, leaning her head back to stare at the speckled tile ceiling and roll her tense shoulders.

“agreed,” you breathed while hauling your bag into your lap. unzipping it, you pulled out the familiar brown journal. “here. back to you before 6th period. just like you said.”

ellie took her notebook cautiously, setting it on her desk as she glanced at you.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked skeptically, lowering your voice to a whisper as your teacher started class at the front of the room. “if you didn’t want me to take it then why did you give it to me in the first place?”

the girl beside you shook her head, leaning her body closer. you stared at the outline of her tattoo as she said, “i wanted you to take it. i’m just nervous that you look at me differently now.”

your eyebrows shot upward, both taken back and confused by her answer. “why would i even-” you turned to face her. “ellie, i don’t look at you ‘differently’ because you draw me. i think it’s rather sweet, actually.”

ellie was bewildered by your words, recalling what dina had said earlier about how she would have loved it if she were drawing her. maybe she had been right. licking her chapped lips, she shifted in her seat, as if she were going to say something, but snapped her head to the front when the teacher said her name sternly.

“miss williams i need you to pay attention, please. this has to do with the project, and i will not be happy when you decide to ask me something i already explained to the class,” the man up front lectured, making both you and ellie sit a little straighter in your seats.

you sent ellie an apologetic look when she glimpsed in your direction. as your teacher moved on from his scolding, you grabbed her sketchbook from her desk and flipped it open to a clean page, pen in hand.

meet me at my locker after school? you wrote quickly, pushing it over for her to see.

ellie grabbed the writing utensil you gave her. i have basketball practice after school :(

frowning, you exaggerated a sigh, shooting a playful eye roll her way as you scribbled out a reply. then i’ll come by the locker room after practice. there—problem solved.

problem solved. ellie wrote back with a grin, nodding at your solution.

“i am incredibly stupid. what was i even thinking?”

jesse was quick to shoot down your self-loathing, his shoulder brushing up against yours as he walked you in the direction of the girl's locker room. “no, you’re not. you were bold. there’s a difference.”

you pressed your lips into a thin line, cheeks slightly puffing out before you kissed the back of your teeth. anxiously running a hand over your face, you said, “well…is there really?”

“yes,” your friend quipped.

rolling your eyes, you shoved jesse jokingly as someone came walking out of the locker room. you instantly recognized dina in her cheerleading outfit, a knowing smile making its way onto your lips. the girl from your history class had always been super friendly.

“dina!” you called, earning a low groan from jesse.

the cheerleader grinned immediately, though you recognized its falter when she spotted her ex by your side. “hey! what’re you doing in the athletic building?” she made a show of not acknowledging jesse.

“i’m here for ellie!” you told her with a toothy smile, fidgeting with the straps of your backpack.

dina’s eyes widened with realization, but her bubbly appearance didn’t feign. she pointed a thumb toward the door she had come out of. “oh! she’s the last one still in the locker room, which i suppose you might’ve already known?”

shaking your head, you said, “yeah, i told her i’d meet her after basketball practice had finished.”

“well don’t let me keep you here then,” dina exclaimed, stepping out of the way to the door with the tiny woman’s symbol on it.

you nodded as you stepped past her, only looking over your shoulder to say, “i’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“yep!” dina confirmed.

jesse shot you a reassuring grin as you disappeared into the dimly lit hallway that hosted the coaches’ offices.

heart beginning to race, you pulled the door handle to the locker room and forced your legs to move. the fluorescent lights were harsh against your eyes, your chest constricting with nerves as you walked past bathroom stalls, sinks, and floor-length mirrors. you couldn't remember the last time you had been in a locker room.

finally coming up on the athletic lockers (they were on a completely separate wall from the regular physical education lockers), you started to hear shuffling.

“ellie?” you called out, trying your best to not sound like you wanted to abandon this idea entirely.

as you passed a few more of the athletic cages, you spotted the girl you were searching for. her lack of a shirt made you balk.

turned toward the lockers, ellie passed a towel through her wet hair, arms tense with movement. you admired the taunt muscles of her back, her damp skin littered with small, but visible, freckles.

she hadn’t noticed your presence.

you cleared your throat promptly, offering her a smile when she turned around. trying not to be distracted by her toned arms and abdomen, you said, “hi ellie. hope i didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

she shook her head, mouth curling into something between a genuine grin and a satisfied smirk. “hey…and no, you caught me at a really good time, actually. practice ended about 45 minutes ago.”

nodding, you took a few steps closer. “yeah, i know. i asked a friend when practices normally end. figured me being a little ‘late’ would benefit. didn’t want to catch you before you had time to shower.”

“ouch,” she said, reaching to grab for her dirty practice t-shirt in her locker. ellie looked over her shoulder as you halted.

something about the way her eyes glinted made you deadpan, “if you throw that at me i will turn around and leave right now.”

chuckling to herself, ellie shook her head. “calm down, i’m not throwing anything at anyone.” she dramatically put the shirt and a pair of folded athletic shorts in a drawstring backpack before shoving it back into the locker.

“you are so annoying,” you snapped at her, moving to sit on the wooden bench placed directly in the middle nook of lockers. as you sat, you caught a whiff of sharp mahogany and cheap cologne.

ellie’s eyebrows raised, her shoulders leaning to press against the cool metal behind her. “and yet here you are, going out of your way to meet me in the back of the locker room after school.”

part of you was certain she made emphasis on the phrase ‘back of the locker room.’

shooting her a glare, though, you straightened as you said, “i said you were annoying, not that i didn’t like you.” there was a pregnant silence before you added, “besides, i wanted to ask if you wanted to go get coffee with me.” you watched ellie’s lips pull back in disgust, your heart dropping in an instant. “or not. sorry, i didn’t-”

“how about we go get dinner instead?” she interrupted. “coffee’s disgusting and i’m starving.”

blinking at her words, you licked your lips. “yeah. yes. that works.” it took you a moment to regain your composure. shit, i almost blew that. “i didn’t know you hated coffee.”

ellie turned and grabbed a hair tie. as she put half of her hair up—somehow in the most attractive way you might add—she said, “oh, yeah. that shit is gross.”

“um, have you even tried it?” you asked doubtfully, mouth forming into a frown. when the auburn-haired girl stayed quiet and instead clasped a thin silver chain around her neck you guessed her answer was clean no.

you scoffed as you nudged her sock-covered foot. “i’m going to force you to try mine the next time i bring some.”

“sounds great,” ellie said sarcastically, a grin tugging on her lips. her smile sent chills sprawling down your spine.

shrugging off your backpack, you set it by your feet, muttering out a barely audible, “fuck.” you had no idea where this conversation was going, and your attempt at asking her out on a date had been a bust…sort of?

ellie had declined coffee and suggested dinner, but it still sounded like it fit more under the category of ‘hangout as friends.’ talking to her was sometimes like talking to a brick wall. masc’s are so fucking clueless, you thought, releasing a heavy sigh through your nose. or maybe i’m not being obvious enough?

“what?” she asked at your suddenly agitated (as she’d describe it) attitude, wetting her chapped lips as she went to sit next to you. lifting a leg over the bench, she sat, body facing yours as she man-spreaded for comfort—her proximity and stature reminded you that she was still very much shirtless…and somehow way better at this (you weren’t sure what this even entitled) than you were.

goosebumps spread across the skin of your upper arms. you shifted, pulling up a knee to rest on the wood as you trailed off, eyes avoiding hers, “you’re just so…”

her head tilted, eyes narrowing as she leaned closer. there was no way she didn’t notice the way you sucked in a breath. “i’m so what? look at me when you talk,” she said.

your gaze snapped toward hers, but first flickered to the swell of her mouth.

“i’m so what?” she repeated, her voice lowering an octave. when you said nothing, she added, “cat got your tongue?”

between her teasing and the adrenaline coursing through your body, you were compelled to do the only thing you could think of to shut her up—to make her drop the questions. swallowing the lump building in your throat, you grabbed her face, thumbs pressing against her warm cheeks, and kissed her with unmistakable want.

although ellie hadn’t expected for you to be so physically direct, she did not mind it at all. following the rough pace you had set, she kissed you back with just as much ferocity, her fingers slipping into the belt loops of your jeans to slide herself forward and you closer.

you mewled at her movement, the pressure between your thighs growing as intensely as you were kissing her. she was quick to regain control of the situation you had thrust upon her.

“ellie,” you mumbled against her mouth, your eyes half-shut as she tugged on your jeans a second time.

“come here,” she told you hastily, lips trailing toward your left ear. “sit on my lap.” she kissed your temple. “please.”

shuddering at her request, you wasted no time in pulling away, pushing yourself off the bench, and situating your legs over hers in a straddle position.

the heat from ellie’s skin seeped through the fabric of your shirt, her hands slipping past the hem. you found yourself arching instinctively to her venturing touch, your stomach twisting into tight knots.

“you are going to make me go insane,” she confessed, her words coming out in a whisper, leaning in to kiss you again. her lips were gentler against yours, eager to savor the moment.

in turn, you indulged in letting your palms trace the sculpted muscles of her arms, fingers trailing every dip and curve from her years of work in the weight room. “you are so beautiful,” you told her delicately, relishing the way her skin burned under yours.

ellie followed the compliment, her hands finding your face and forcing you to look at her. green eyes etched with something between lust and admiration, she thumbed a corner of your mouth. “do you have any idea what you do to me?” she whispered. “from the moment you walked into that classroom…”

her words died in her throat and she swallowed thickly as you shook your head. “don’t do that. not here.”

“do what?” she questioned, adjusting her position on the bench.

the friction between your legs forced you to release a shaky breath, and you licked your lips in an attempt to focus on bringing your thoughts into coherent sentences. she was making it extremely hard. “i want to talk about this over dinner,” you told her hoarsely. “about what we are now. about what you want us to be.”

“are you saying you want to go on a date?” she asked quietly.

you couldn’t help your sudden smile. “i asked you earlier when i mentioned coffee, but you instantly shut that idea down.”

ellie rolled her eyes, though you could sense her pang of guilt. “you weren’t very clear on the date part. otherwise, i would’ve said yes immediately.”

surprise feigned your features. “you? saying yes to a coffee date?”

“oh, ha-ha.” she exaggerated the fake laugh. “and yes, had i known you were asking me out i would've sacrificed my comfort for your enjoyment. honestly, i think i do that quite often—as of right now i think my tailbone is being bruised.”

you sucked in harshly, moving off her with urgency as you shoved her shoulder with a hand. “why didn’t you say anything?!”

“and risk not feeling you up? yeah, no thanks.” her tone was definite.

your jaw fell slack as you crossed your arms over your chest, confounded by her response. “you can still feel me up without me in your lap, dummy.”

“yeah, but that sounds less fun,” ellie teased, holding up her hands in defense. she stood from her seat, reaching around you to grab her baseball t-shirt from earlier. as she put her arms through the sleeves she said, “i have a game tomorrow. you should come watch.”

you scrunched your nose jokingly, deciding to use her words against her. “and see you all sweaty? yeah, no thanks.”

ellie straightened out her shirt, shooting you a rather bemused look in the process. “how do you know you won’t like seeing me all sweaty and worn out?”

as she hunched down to pull on her converse, you exhaled heavily, unable to come up with something witty. mainly because she was right. you would totally like to see her all sweaty and worn out. so, with a slight bruise to your ego, you itched your nape, mumbling out, “i never said i wouldn’t like that. you always assume shit about me.”

“and you always assume shit about me, so we’re even,” ellie shot back, standing back up. she grabbed her backpack from inside the locker before changing the subject. “where do you wanna go for dinner?”

you shrugged, reaching down for your own bag. swinging it over a should, you said, “i don’t know. whatever you want. and you’re right, i do assume shit about you. like right now, for instance, i’m assuming you’re a picky eater.”

“i am not a picky eater.” she shut down your claim with a light kick to your shoe. “and fine, i’ll pick something and surprise you. did you drive to school today?”

you shook your head. “no.”

“great, looks like you’re sticking with me then.” she tried and failed to hide her cheeky smile. closing her locker, she grabbed your hand, hastily leading you toward the main hallway of the locker room. “come on.”

trailing after her, you felt your cheeks heat with the prompt realization of your reality. maybe you’d have to thank your earth and space teacher for assigning that stupid comet project. the steady growth of your relationship with ellie made your insides twist with pure excitement, and as she rambled about how much you would enjoy her restaurant of choice, you couldn't help but succumb to the feeling of pure bliss.

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ily-sunghoon · 1 month ago

Text

The Omen of Sterling | CHAPTER IV

Pairing : vampire!enha x fem!oc

Genre of this chapter : vampire, disgusting little smut scene with jungwon

POV : Author’s

Words count : 5.2k

WARNINGS : MDNI!!! food, blood drinking, pussy eating, nipple play, period cycle, curses, mentioned of kms, kinda power abuse, enha are simps, fighting, witchcraft, DO NOT PROCEED IF UNCOMFORTABLE lmk if I missed anything

Note : PHEEEEEWWWW FIRST SMUT CHAPTER! the smut scene is really short, but! enjoy! ALSO, TWO NEW CHARACTERS WOOHOOO <3 feel free to ask if you have confusion about anything! (dont ask me when will this end)

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST : @nshmrarki @capri-cuntz @millieinyourarea @strxwbloody @poeticjustice1010 @leesura @vousty (let me know if you want to be added)

CHAPTER IV: BLOODY NIGHT

Wilhelmina is in a good mood today, she’ll be back at her uncle’s mansion! Her favorite place ever, because everyone in the castle is not fun. Here in the mansion, they’ve got Ricardo and Jasper who are just as weird as her. Now, she heard that the new girl is also a fun person too! She can’t wait to meet her!

A little bit contrast for the seven vampires, Wilhelmina is like a thunderstorm. Sure, she keeps the house lively! But no one would deny the chaos that she would be making every five minutes is kind of difficult to handle.

“Tell me what happened while I’m gone. In full. Where is the new girl? I want to meet her.” Wilhelmina demands Jasper.

“Good timing, she’s in your uncle’s office.” Jasper grins.

“Oh! What chapter did I miss?” Wilhelmina smirks at the hinted statement.

“A lot! Go barge in, you’ll see for yourself.” Jasper whispered.

Wilhelmina walks upstairs to Jestel’s office with Jasper.

“I’ll wait here.” Jasper informed. Stopping right next to a vase.

Wilhelmina nods and storms uninvited. She clearly could see the way Jestel was so drooling over the new girl.

“Wilhelmina, how many times—” Jestel sighed at her behavior.

“GOOD MORNING! Hi, I’m Wilhelmina. I’m so glad we finally meet each other!” Wilhelmina smiles widely at Iolana.

“Hi! I’m Iolana. I heard about you from Jestel and Ricardo a lot!” Iolana smiles back, she gave her a smile that she didn’t give to any of those guys. A genuine, warm smile.

Jestel froze when he saw her smiling like that.

“My room is on the 4th floor! Please visit me if you have spare time. Or I can visit you! We can go shopping, gossiping, do each other’s hair—oh, wait! WOW! You have short hair, that’s rare!” Wilhelmina is shocked. She had never seen any girl with mid-length hair like Iolana before.

“Wilhelmina, manners.” Jestel reminded her.

“I apologize, Iolana. I was just curious!”

“It’s okay! My brother accidentally cut it during our duels.” Iolana answered, still with her warm smile. She feels safe around Wilhelmina, there’s no bad vibes from her.

“Are you planning to grow it?”

“Of course! Wouldn’t want to get some mouths on my new society.” Iolana giggled.

“Fuck them, you’re very cool!” Ricardo was right, Iolana gets along with Wilhelmina really well.

“Wilhelmina, watch the language.” Jestel reminds her again. “Get out, you’re disturbing our discussion.”

“Oh, my my! Iolana, you must be special. He hates discussion, let alone with a new girl that he just met.” Wilhelmina giggled. She loves teasing everyone in the house, especially her uncle. It gave her a sense of control and it’s fun.

“Don’t listen to her, Iolana.” Jestel tries to convince Iolana otherwise.

“You can ask everyone, Iolana. I might be a trouble, but I never lie.” Wilhelmina laughed this time. Surely Jestel can’t beat that statement, Iolana knows that it’s the truth.

“Are you done, Wilhelmina?” Jestel is panicking.

“He gave her his blood.” Jasper added, bursting into the room.

“Really, Jasper?” Jestel is frustrated right now.

“What does that mean?” Iolana plays dumb.

“Well, somebody is ready to settle down! Eager, aren’t we?” Wilhelmina is enjoying this. “Iolana, you’re truly special. Blood is a big deal around here.”

“Really?”

“Not necessarily!” Jestel panicked again.

“It’s the biggest love form for us Kroshoviens. Hope that helps!” Wilhelmina is giggling nonstop.

“Oh! Even if they mix the blood with somebody else’s blood too?”

“Well, they’re all confessing to you then.” Jasper shrugged his shoulder. “Who’s the other boys?”

“Saine, Jusarlie, and Sarco.”

“Sarco?!” They stopped for a second. “Sarco gave his blood to you?”

“Yes, yesterday after dinner.” Iolana explained.

“This is so fun!” Wilhelmina eyes lit up in excitement. “Hope you can handle the intensity, Iolana!”

“Wait, Wilhelmina, could you explain it again to me? I’m kind of puzzled here.” Iolana played her part.

“That would be my pleasure! Let’s go to your room, I’ll explain further.”

“Iolana, she might add a few lies.” Jestel warned her again.

“No, Wilhelmina never lie.” Jasper shoos them away.

“Bye, Uncle Jestel! Bye, Jasper!” Wilhelmina hugs Iolana’s arm and walks to the 3rd floor together while chatting.

Jestel is visibly bothered.

“Look who’s in a lovestruck now.” Jasper laughed at Jestel’s expression.

“I could handle those other two, but Sarco? Really?” Jestel faked a deep sigh.

“Don’t you think you should start to listen to Idris? None of his omen are proven wrong, especially for this girl.” Jasper gives him simple advice.

“Maybe I should, it is hard to believe this sometimes.”

—

“Wilhelmina, are you not bothered by my scent?” Iolana asked her when they reached the 3rd floor.

“Oh, it only works for the opposite gender! I feel comfortable with you even though you’re a sweet-scented human!” Wilhelmina explained.

“Do they just want my blood…? I don’t know who to trust right now.” Iolana frowned.

“Hey, it’s okay. I feel you, it must be very overwhelming. Take it easy, Iolana. I personally think that they’re in real lovestruck.” Wilhelmina waits for Iolana to open her bedroom door.

They walk in and sit on the bed.

“So… about the blood confession? I don’t know… could you explain more?” Iolana asked politely.

“Basically, if they give you, their blood. It means they’re consenting to you to call upon them whenever you want and need. Hence why we see it as the greatest form of love. It’s not common for one to give their blood so easily to someone they just knew. That’s why I called you special.” Wilhelmina explained.

“Is it that serious?”

“Yes! Only engaged and married people usually do that thing to each other. So, sum it up by yourself.” Wilhelmina laughed. “They’re so in love with you, they think you’re the one for them.”

“This is a bad thing, then?” Iolana gulps.

“Depends on how you look at it, me personally, it’s so fun! You can just summon them as you wish. How fun is that?” Wilhelmina tries to make Iolana see the bright and fun side.

“Whenever, huh?” Iolana nods and smirks.

“That’s the spirit!” Wilhelmina knew Iolana hides something mischievous behind those shy smiles. “Don’t you want to try to summon one of them?”

“Sure! Who should I call?” Iolana is confused.

“Call my uncle.”

“Okay, let’s try.” Iolana is giggling. She tries to focus herself while taking a deep breath. “Jestel, I need you.”

In a second, Jestel teleported in her room. He looks confused. “Iolana, did she ask you to do that?”

“We just want to try!” Iolana defends Wilhelmina who’s smugly grins at Jestel now.

“Okay, next time do it only if you need me, alright?” Jestel tried to be as soft-spoken as he could. It’s a funny scene to watch for Wilhelmina.

“Okay, Jestel.” Iolana puts up her innocent gaze.

“I’ll get going.” Jestel nods and walks out from her room.

Wilhelmina laughed loudly as Jestel had already walked up the stairs. “You’re so good at acting sweet, you should teach me.”

“The key is in the eyes. Just make it bigger, full of hope, and blink a few times, you know. Like this.” Iolana gives her an example. “Always work on men.”

“Let me try, let me try.” Wilhelmina closes her eyes, preparing to try the sweet-looking eyes method. She opens her eyes, giving it an essence of hope, and blinks a few times. “Like this?”

“Yes, that’s perfect!” Iolana claps her hand, proud of Wilhelmina. Girlhood is so fun.

“I’m going to use it against Jasper.” Wilhelmina mumbled to herself.

Iolana gives her a smug grin, “You like him, don’t you?”

“No, no, no! No way, right?” Wilhelmina’s nervous chuckles are enough evidence of her real feelings toward Jasper.

“Sure! No way, right?” Iolana mocks her.

“Don’t tell anyone! You’re the first to know!” Wilhelmina whispered.

“Let’s just hope Saine isn’t in his room right now.” Iolana whispered back.

A knock on the door made them jump. “Iolana, it’s me.”

Oh, lord. It’s Saine.

“Speaking of the devil.” Iolana laughed. “Come in, Saine.”

Saine walks in with a sweet smile, but it fades away immediately when he sees Wilhelmina. “Oh, my vamp, it’s you.”

“You gave your blood to her, right?” Wilhelmina strikes back. “That’s so sweet of you, Saine.”

Saine swifts uncomfortably, “Uh, yes. Anyways, I’m going for a walk in the town. Do you want to join me, Iolana?”

“Sure! Can we invite Wilhelmina too?” Iolana is in her innocent mask again.

“Sure.” Saine nods. Praying to every deity and his ancestors that he could think of right now.

“I’ll go ask Jasper.” Wilhelmina smiles at Iolana, then smirks at Saine. “Jaspeeer!”

“Stop screaming, I could hear you perfectly without all the screams.” Jasper shows up immediately at Iolana’s door.

“Relax, soulmate. Let’s join Iolana and Saine for a walk.” Wilhelmina chuckled.

“Sure, let’s go. I’m ready.” Jasper nods.

“Okay, our first stop is my father. He made a special necklace for Iolana. We should grab it first, I’m sure it can hide her sweet scent.” Saine smiles warmly at Iolana.

—

Holstein crouched in front of the last Sterling that he could bring here alive. Fortunately for him, it’s Tama Sterling! The eldest son of Tearle. Luckily, Tama survived his own suicide. So, here he is! Lying on the special prison’s floor, helpless, out of energy, hungry maybe? He’s also very angry. Only if he is a vampire, they’ll be dead by now.

“Is your sister alive?” Holstein asked.

Tama remained silent.

“She’s important to me.” Holstein said again. “She might be the one.”

“Over my dead body.” Tama mocks him.

“You’re so hard to talk to, just like Jestel. I’m sure Iolana is just like me. Easy to talk to, cold-headed, and not stingy.” Holstein scoffed. “Don’t worry, Tama. You’ll be a vampire soon.”

That can’t be happening, what are their plans now?

“Without your memory too, isn’t it sweet? You’re going to be our little dangerous weapon.”

“I’d rather die.”

“You don’t get to choose here.” Holstein hits Tama’s head, not enough to make him die, but enough to knock him out.

—

Iolana stands up and hugs Saine’s arm. Ready for the quick speed she’s going to face. They’re instantly gone in a second, it takes fifteen seconds to get to the Cairneye’s Mansion. Iolana never realized how far it was. Maybe yesterday she was really enjoying the view.

“Papa!” Saine shouts for his father.

“My ears,” Idris acts like his ears are hurt by Saine’s voice.

“Whatever, where is the pendant?” Saine is fed up with Idris’ playfulness.

“Oh, there’s a few things that I need to tell you. Are you sure these two can keep their mouth shut?” Idris points at Jasper and Wilhelmina.

“Guys, get ou—” Saine was interrupted by Iolana.

“They can stay. I trust them.” Iolana calmly answered.

“Are you sure?” Idris frowned.

“I have their secrets, it’s good.” Iolana tilts her head a little bit.

“Woah, what is my secret?!” Jasper is panicking.

“She’ll tell you later, now Uncle Idris tell us.” Wilhelmina glares at Jasper.

“Well, Iolana. Get ready to be hex!” Idris tells the news like it’s a birthday party, full smile, little claps. This man is crazy.

“Idris, slow down.” You can see Iolana is slightly panicking. “What did I do?”

“It’s not a you problem, it’s Slevado.” Idris laughed. “As usual.”

“Ugh, those bitches.” Iolana couldn’t hide her hatred toward that nation. “What did they have in mind this time?”

“First of all, do you know this?” Idris holds a necklace in front of her face, for her to see clearly.

“That’s… how did you… is my brother alive?” Iolana is out of words. The necklace was Tama’s. He always wears it wherever he goes. It’s his treasure.

“He might be alive, I’m not sure. Can you sense him? It took a lot of energy for someone to transfer their real time vision to me, let alone letting me grab a thing. He’s a great wizard.” Idris complimented Iolana’s brother.

Iolana doesn’t say a thing, she holds the pendant of that necklace and focuses her energy to find her brother.

“We found you in the woods. We don’t know who turned you into a vampire, but you’re safe here with us.” It looks like they’re having a feast. Tama is right there, sitting next to Holstein.

“I’m thirsty.” Tama looks miserable.

“I know, drink as much as you want.” The heir of Slevado is such a sweet talker. It scares Iolana off.

“You’re all so kind to me, what do you want from me?” Well, Tama is still Tama after all. Straight to the point and couldn’t trust people easily.

“Nothing! You can live here, this is your new home.”

Tama stares at him blankly. “Why?”

“You’re strong, you knocked out my guards. That’s why I decided to bring you here, to my castle.”

“You want me to be your guard?”

“No, we just want to give you a better life. That way you can explore more of your powers. We just want to help you.”

“Okay.” Tama is still not very friendly.

The vision ended. Iolana drops to the floor slowly after she witnessed all that. Saine holds her arms, he feels sad for her. She doesn’t deserve any of this.

“Turn me into a vampire.” Iolana said helplessly. “I’m your only chance.”

“Iolana, take a deep breath. What do you mean?” Wilhelmina crouched down.

“If they’re going to strike Krashoviel with Tama as a vampire. None of you will survive. Tama is a lot stronger than me.” Iolana explained.

“How strong was he as a human?” Saine asked, hoping that Iolana could provide a specific detail.

“As strong as Ricardo, but heartless.”

They gulp in unison. Ricardo is young, but he’s already almost as strong as Jestel. Maybe it’s all because of Sarco’s hard training, but since he’s young… he still follows his heart sometimes. He often lets emotion take over him.

“He might be stronger than Sarco now… with the fact that he’s also a new vampire as well.” Idris strokes his chin. “Where were you guys going?”

“Just a walk to see the town.” Saine answered.

“Cancel it, we need to do an urgent meeting.” Idris said calmly. “All of us.”

—

The palace is nervous, Idris said he will bring Iolana to the meeting today. How the table has turned, vampire fears a mere little human. Such a funny scene to watch.

“What do you think just happened?” Odelia asked Jestel.

“Another vision, maybe.” Jestel guessed. “He’s your son, you should know better.”

“They’re here.” Sarco said, standing up to greet Idris and the people that he brings to the meeting.

Idris opened the door and let his son, Wilhelmina, and Jasper enter the room first. Meanwhile, he enters the room alongside Iolana. Anyone who studied the art of people’s aura will definitely notice the flame and shadow competing to take over Iolana’s aura. The whole room are terrified. It’s so suffocating.

“Iolana, what happened?” Jestel asked her gently.

Idris let Iolana make the announcement. “My brother, Tama Sterling, has been kidnapped by Slevado. They turned him into a vampire just recently. You need to turn me into one too. I’m your only hope.”

“How so, my child?” Sullivan asked Iolana. Genuinely curious as to why she’s their only hope.

“They brainwashed Tama. It’s not good, Tama is far stronger than me even as a human. He will end you without any difficulties as a fresh vampire.”

“Do you know the possibility of his power right now?” Sarco asked.

“Do you know my grandfather? Thessio Sterling?”

“Oh, I’d rather not. I agree, turn her into a vampire.” Sullivan had a war flashback from that name alone.

“Is he that strong?” Wilhelmina is clueless.

“He’s dead and grandpa still has goosebumps just by hearing his name. What do you think?” Jestel asked Wilhelmina.

“Well, one of you should be Iolana’s host vamp then.” Wilhelmina nods.

“It’s not that simple. She needs to bond first.” Odelia is opposed to that idea. “Iolana, I’ll give you time to choose until Jestel’s birthday party.”

“Jestel’s birthday party? Do you want us dead, Odelia?” Sullivan sees this as an emergency.

“No, we must wait. Let her choose. Who wants to be his host vamp?” Odelia knows what’s going on.

Jestel, Jusarlie, Saine, Sarco, and Hiael raised their hands.

“Oh, my vamp.” Ricardo mumbled under his breath.

“What the fuck are you doing, Hiael?” Jestel yelled.

“What?” Hiael seems unbothered.

“Put your goddamn hand down.” Jestel couldn’t believe this.

“I was just answering Your Majesty’s question. I’m not going to be some ambitious Iolana’s chaser like you and the others.”

“Then put your hand down, don’t make this more complicated than it already is.” Saine tries to stay collected.

“I was just being honest?”

“See?” Odelia turns to her father.

“Iolana, I’ll guide you to choose a host vamp. Feel free to ask about anything. I’ll provide you with my information.” Idris said to Iolana.

“Sarco, I want you to train Iolana to be as strong as you in her human form.” Odelia ordered.

“Are you sure?” Idris is concerned. “As strong as Jestel would be enough.”

“We need someone who’s stronger than Tama, we can’t let anything out of control.” Odelia explained. “Do you copy, Sarco?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

—

Dinner time is almost ready, Iolana is in the bathroom. Preparing herself. Well, today is not nice to her apparently. She sees fresh blood on her panties. This is the least thing that she needs right now. Iolana panicked, she didn’t know what to do. She quickly changed her panties and washed the blood stained one.

“Iolana, let’s go.” Jusarlie’s voice makes her gulp.

“Jusarlie… tell Jestel and the others… my menstrual cycle is here.” Iolana holds the door with her body, just in case Jusarlie lost control.

“Shit.” Jusarlie panicked. “Wait, I’ll tell them. Don’t open the door to anyone before we gather here.”

For half a minute, she waits there patiently. Afraid of what could come for her.

“Iolana, it’s us.” Their voices somehow calmed her down. “Don’t open the door just yet. We could lose control.”

“What should I do?” Iolana is scared.

“Wilhelmina will take you to the basement’s bedroom. You should stay there for a few days.” Jestel explained. “It has triple protection door. You should be safe there.”

“T-triple?” Iolana was surprised by that.

“Yes, three iron doors. So, we can’t come in easily.” Jestel answered. “Why did it come faster than it should be?”

“Probably because I’m stressed.” Iolana took a guess. “I’m sorry to bother you, guys.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Jestel reassured her. “Okay, we’ll be out of the house for a bit. You listen to Wilhelmina, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Take care of her, Wilhelmina.” Saine taps his cousin’s shoulder.

They are out from the house, along with the butlers, maids, and guards. Waiting outside, while Iolana is being moved from her room to the basement.

“Iolana, let’s go.” Wilhelmina said gently.

Iolana opens the door slowly.

“Oh, wow. They would lose their mind if they were here. Come, quick.” Wilhelmina brought Iolana’s bag.

Iolana clings to Wilhelmina and they go to the basement in a second.

“Alright, I’ll explain fast. Every mealtime, they will give you food through this little food elevator. Remember to not open the iron door. It’s there for a reason. Jestel has prepared this room especially just for you, so I guess everything is here? If there’s anything you need, just talk through telepathy. You’ll figure it out. You’re a Sterling.” Wilhelmina smiles. “I’ll go. The door will be locked once I get out, only you can unlock it afterwards.”

“Thank you, Wilhelmina.” Iolana nods.

“Alright, you take care right here.” Wilhelmina waves before closing the ordinary door. Iolana could hear the iron door closing one by one while Wilhelmina walks out.

The basement’s bedroom is not bad, a good place even. Sure, it’s smaller than the original bedrooms, but it’s enough for Iolana. She began to unpack her things, praying that her menstrual cycle wouldn’t last long.

Meanwhile, the dining room is unbelievably quiet. Everyone tries their best to focus on their food and drink.

“Her scent. I’m going insane.” Jusarlie’s eyes dart to the secret door that Wilhelmina and Iolana pass through earlier.

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” Saine is doing the same thing.

“Hold yourself together.” Jestel told them.

Sarco seems like he’s not listening, though. He’s done eating. Now his eyes keep staring at that secret door.

“Sarco.” Ricardo tries to call him. No response.

“Sarco?” Wilhelmina is worried now.

Sarco is gone in the blink of an eye. They were all panicking and rushed to the basement. They felt great relief when they saw Sarco is just standing in front of the first layer of iron door.

“Iolana, summon me if you need me. I know you’re in pain. I could help.” Sarco sounds so tempting for Iolana.

“Sarco?” Iolana replied hesitantly.

“Yes, just remember that you can summon me whenever you want.”

“Iolana, don’t listen to him.” Saine scoffed. “Summon me, instead. I know you better than him. We shop together, remember?”

“You’re high, let’s go.” Wilhelmina tried to drag Sarco and Saine out of there. “Do not summon any of those guys, Iolana. They’re not in their right state of mind.”

“Sarco…” Iolana whimpers loud enough for them to hear.

Oh.

That awakens something inside them. Something deeper. It crossed the line, it’s unethical. It’s something primal.

“Iolana, summon me if you need help. You know the words, Darling. You did it once yesterday, you can do it.” Jestel bangs on the iron door.

“Iolana, I could bring you your favorite novels. Just summon me, okay?” Jusarlie is also banging at the door.

“Jusarlie?” Iolana did leave the book that she’s currently reading.

“Iolana, you need me, right?” Sarco looks so desperate right now. That is surely not on anyone’s bingo list.

“Iolana, go to sleep. Don’t listen to them.” Wilhelmina keeps her sane, to be honest. Iolana is close to summoning one of them.

She knows it’s wrong, but at the same time it feels very right. She needs one of them. Menstrual hormone messes up with her.

“My vamp, I need to call Idris.” Wilhelmina faked a deep sigh. “Jasper, help me.”

“Let’s go.” Jasper nods, they immediately go to Idris as fast as they could.

Idris, who’s currently busy with customers, is puzzled by their sudden appearance.

“Wilhelmina, Jasper, what’s wrong?” Idris stopped stirring his pot.

“Iolana is in her menstrual cycle, and we couldn’t get the four of them away from the basement’s door.” Wilhelmina informed Idris.

“Bloody hell, couldn’t it pick a better time? I’ll be there in a minute, keep an eye on them.” Idris nods at them. They rushed back to the mansion while Idris excuse himself to the guests, “Could you wait for maybe ten minutes? I need to take care of something. Vampz in love, you know.”

“Sure! We could wait, Sir Idris. Take your time.”

Idris smiled at the guests and rushed himself to Jestel’s mansion. He goes straight to the basement and found an uncomfortable scene. Jestel, Jusarlie, Saine, and Sarco are practically begging. Beyond desperate to open the iron door.

“Collect yourself.” Idris goes to his son first, he slaps him a few times. Not working. Saine is still high. “This is what you get from giving your blood so generously to someone you just met.”

“Is this normal?” Jasper is curious.

“Yes, this is normal, if Iolana is a vampire. Well, unfortunately for us, she isn’t a vampire. Yet.” Idris sighed. “They’ll riot if we drag them upstairs. I’ll knock them out. Ricardo, Jasper, Hiael, help me transport them to the living room.”

Idris began to knock them up one by one with just a touch on their nape. Idris is indeed scary.

The others do what Idris said earlier, they’re now gathering in the living room. Idris sealed access to the basement for the four of them.

“When will they wake up?” Jasper asked.

“A minute from now, two minutes maximum.” Idris sighed again. “This is troublesome, we have to turn her into a vampire as soon as possible.”

Saine opens his eyes. His head is dizzy as he tries to sit. “What happened?”

“You were high, you dumb fuck.” Wilhelmina scolds him.

“Oh, I remember now.” Saine nods. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine as long as she doesn’t interact with any of you lovestruck heads.” Wilhelmina scoffed again.

Jestel and Sarco are slowly opening their eyes too.

“Did I drink too much? What happened?” Jestel had no idea as well.

“You were high due to Iolana’s amazing scent.” Jasper laughed.

“Really?”

“Why do you think I need to call Idris here?” Wilhelmina scoffed.

“Oh, I apologize.” Jestel giggled.

“Iolana, please! You need me, Iolana. I could help you.” Ricardo mocks them.

“I didn’t say that.” Sarco shook his head.

“I am not even exaggerating anything, ask Hiael.” Ricardo is fed up.

“He’s right.” Hiael nods.

“Iolana.” Jusarlie sit straight, making the others surprised by his sudden move.

“Is he still high?” Ricardo looks confused.

“Iolana needs me.” Jusarlie said before completely disappeared in front of their eyes.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT.” Idris panicked. He rushed to the basement to check if Jusarlie teleported or walked. Wilhelmina and Jasper follow him along.

Their hearts dropped when they saw the basement was empty. Iolana summoned Jusarlie.

Iolana summoned Jusarlie.

“Iolana! Iolana! Don’t be ridiculous now!” Wilhelmina panicked, banging at the door. “Iolana! What are you doing?”

“She’s in good hands.” They could hear Jusarlie’s low chuckle from behind the doors.

Idris couldn’t say anything. He was speechless. He went back upstairs, hugging Wilhelmina and Jasper.

“Idris, what happened? Where’s Jusarlie?” Jestel is puzzled. “Why did you put a spell to lock us out?”

“Let’s just hope Iolana is alive and well after this.” Idris said calmly.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Sarco is annoyed.

“She summoned Jusarlie.”

The room felt thick. Completely shocked at the announcement.

“But she’s mine.” Sarco said almost to himself.

“Papa, you’re joking.” Saine tries to be as positive as he could be.

“Saine, let’s just hope she makes it out alive.” Idris pats his shoulder.

“Why? Why? WHY?!” You could hear the despair in Saine’s voice. “Why not me? Why?”

“Idris, read the future. Is he going to be her host vamp?” Jestel looks very insane right now. He grabs both of Idris arms. “Tell me, Idris. We need to know.”

“I’m not sure, but you still have your chances. If she makes it out alive.” Idris answered as much as he needed to.

“I’m going to chop his head off.” Sarco closes his eyes, holding his anger in.

“This isn’t fair. I’m going to kill myself.” Saine grabs a fist of his own hair. He’s very devastated.

“Let’s just hope she makes it first.”

—

“Baby… you need me?” Jusarlie almost lost his self-control when he was being summoned at Iolana’s room.

“Jusarlie, if you drink some of my blood. Wouldn’t my menstrual cycle end faster?” Iolana asked a very difficult question right now since Jusarlie can’t think straight.

“Oh, baby… should we try?” Jusarlie voice got deeper. Iolana could see his eyes darkened at her words earlier.

“Let me make sure of something first.” Iolana smirks back at him. How brave. Jusarlie raised an eyebrow, what could she possibly do?

“Kneel.” Iolana stares right into his eyes.

Jusarlie suddenly lost control of his own body. He kneeled in front of Iolana. He doesn’t even know what is going on right now.

Iolana giggled, “I was right. Let’s try it, Jusarlie. I hate my menstrual cycle.” She shamelessly lifts her night gown and slides her panties down with that pair of innocent eyes staring at Jusarlie.

Jusarlie? Still kneeling. He’s drooling now. This girl is so fucking dangerous.

“Come and get it, Jusarlie.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice, Jusarlie quickly positioned himself between Iolana’s thighs. He inhales deeply. “God, Iolana, you smell so good.”

Iolana squirmed under his touch, she held her whimper.

“Thank you for the meal.” Jusarlie didn’t waste any second to finally lick her bloody folds down. It was the most delicious blood he had ever tasted. He is becoming more passionate as he sucks her clit, trying his best not to bite her.

Iolana is a total mess, she couldn’t contain her moans anymore. Her hips moving up and down, all because of Jusarlie’s talented tongue. And he doesn’t plan to stop. He licks her like a kitten, her blood is intoxicating.

Jusarlie swirls his tongue inside her, making her cry out a whimper. One of his hands naturally reaches up to lifts her night gown higher. Once he found her breast, he fondles with them with both of his hands, pinching her nipples slowly and plays with them like a toy.

The pleasure from her core and her breasts is enough to make Iolana breaks, “J-Jusarlie… fuck… it feels so good.” Iolana’s breathy voice makes Jusarlie’s cock twitch.

“Don’t say it like that, you’re making me hard to control myself.” Jusarlie opens his eyes and stare at Iolana fucked up face. She is so fucking beautiful. He would not share this with others. Iolana should be his and his alone. He sucks at her pretty pussy until there’s no blood left coming from her vagina. It was the most delicious meal he ever had.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to be your host vamp?” Jusarlie climbs up while caressing her body, teasing her. Her jolts stroke his ego for sure.

“No, not yet. I haven’t decided.” Iolana is sweaty, out of breath, after Jusarlie devoured her pussy.

“I don’t want to share you.” Jusarlie holds her face gently.

“That’s your problem.” Iolana smirks again. “We’ll see if this method works tomorrow.”

“You’re cruel.”

“Never said I’m not.” Iolana makes him sit by pushing him while she raises her body to sit as well. “Now, you get out like the way you enter this room.”

And just like that, Jusarlie is gone in the blink of an eye. Iolana is very satisfied with the power she currently holds right now.

—

Jusarlie is back in the living room. His smile never leaves his face. He licks the remaining blood on the tip of his lips, unaware of the eyes that stare at him like he just did something really bad.

“What the fuck did you just do with her?” Jestel holds his collar.

“None of your business.”

“Tell me she’s alive.”

“Oh, she’s alive! Breathing normally, body temperature is normal for human, heartbeat normal, and… well pleasured.” Jusarlie giggled at himself.

“Did you fucking touch her?” Sarco’s blood boils.

“She asked me to. Not to brag about it or anything—”

A thud makes the whole room shocked. Saine just punched Jusarlie in the face.

“Don’t say any word about it.” Saine looks insane. He completely loses his mind. What the hell did he do wrong? Jusarlie is not better than him. Why did Iolana choose Jusarlie instead of him?

Jusarlie laughed like a maniac. “Just know that the sweet scent did not lie.”

Jestel, Saine, and Sarco stare down at him. Full of hatred. Full of jealousy. What makes the feeling worse is they can’t do anything about it.

In the very same room, Idris, Jasper, and Wilhelmina know that the future is going to be more complicated than they anticipated. As if the four of them being insane isn’t enough, Iolana chose the crazy path as well.

TO BE CONTINUED...

; YOUR CUTE REBLOGS AND COMMENTS MAKE ME FEEL REALLY GRATEFUL <3 ; FEEL FREE TO HIT MY ASK IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION ABOUT THE WORLD BUILDING OR CHARACTER!

#enhypen #enhypen fic #heeseung fic #jake fic #jay fic #jongseong fic #jungwon fic #sunghoon fic #enhypen vampire au #enhypen vampire #enhypen series #sunoo fic #ni ki fic #enhypen smut #jungwon smut #jaeyun fic #enhypen hard hours #jungwon hard hours

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literatureloverx · 4 months ago

Note

Hiii!! good day to you☺️☺️!!! Just wanna ask something if you don't mind me🤗. In the aftercare scenario with fyodor, in the last part of it they talked about having children. Since reading that it's the only thing on my mind rn😔. I really wanna know what you think about fyodor, his darling and their children. Like would he be a good dad, an okay one or a bad one? How maby children do you think he'll have? Etc etc. Even though it's kinda impossible for him(rn) to have children since it'll probably become a problem for his plan, but can't a girl dream?🥺 Anyway tyty in advance if you answer this

(I love you so muchhhhh ahhh i wanna bite you/affectionately/😚😚. I love love the way you potray fyodor— my knees become weak every time I read one of your post! You're literally serving us a whole 5 star mchelin meal and I'm licking the plate- all utensils clean frfr😋😋. I hope you continue this and I'll be right here with the others supporting you🫶🏼🫶🏼)

Oh my gosh, I actually shed some tears here…🥺❤️

I can’t even begin to tell you how much your support means to me. Every time I read your sweet words, I get so emotional. I'm beyond grateful for your love and encouragement—it really keeps me going. ❤️

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!❤️❤️❤️

In actuality, I got two other requests about Dad!Fyodor. I wrote some headcanons about this and included a scene too, but since I don’t want to be unfair, I will post the scenario I wrote here and the headcanons in the other request ❤️

I hope you enjoy it, my dear! ❤️

Mdni, yandere behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, dad!fyodor, ideal type fem!reader, fluff, etc.

———————————

F Y O D O R D O S T O E V S K Y

Belonging

Never in his life had Fyodor calculated that he would end up in this moment. It was a delight indeed, to feel the pleasure of utter belonging. You, belonging to him. Him, belonging to you. Him, belonging to his own small family.

A small smile forms on his lips, his eyes softening as his pale, cold hand gently places itself upon your belly.

It feels so strange, in an almost tooth-rottingly sweet way. It was something he never wished for, never considered before. But since you came crashing into his life with your graceful, soft, sweet nature, hopping into his safe space, jumping over his seemingly endless high walls, everything has been changing for him.

To find himself in such a vulnerable state was frustrating. He did not handle this new information well at the beginning, at all.

After endless loneliness, he felt uncomfortable with the togetherness with someone else. Finding you and falling for you, his soulmate, his lover, was indeed a shock for his hardened heart.

But now, this? A child? His child, that you’re bearing inside your very body?

He is not someone who loses his cool easily. You softened him. Your still unborn baby, whom he can't imagine parenting as any other human being does, softened him. He has found himself dwelling on thoughts obsessively focused on you and your child. About your future.

If this had not happened simply by itself, he wouldn’t have thought of having a child. But now that you’re full with his child, smiling at him with utmost love and affection, he can't help but love your baby.

Love… such a distant word for him for decades, for hundreds of years. Humbling, but so utterly real.

“Can you feel it, my love?”

“Yes, love.”

His gaze focuses on you, the dark glimmer shining through his soft expression, a sight far too familiar to you.

“I’m amazed how we managed to produce such an energetic offspring, given our harmonious and peaceful personalities.”

His humorous comment makes you huff out a giggle, amused at his remark.

“I’m not sure if I’d describe you as such, my love…”

His eyes soften further.

“I believe that motherhood has already made you brattier, my dear. We might need to change that attitude in the near future.”

Another chuckle, this time even more heartfelt than before.

He softly kisses your forehead, his fingers gently caressing your belly.

“The medicine is working. You’re feeling less dizziness, correct?”

Fyodor being your husband has more than enough beautiful aspects to it. One of them is, indeed, his ability to see, hear, and understand everything the moment it occurs. Like now. He always knows how you’re feeling, and it is refreshing in a sweet way.

“Yes, my love. I’m doing very well. Also, I'm not lonely at all, thanks to you.”

He smiles fondly, a lazy smirk stretching out his lips. Of course you weren’t. He is often away, but he always manages to send you gifts and activities to pass the time with. You’re always surrounded by people who dote on you and do everything in their power to make you feel comfortable in your huge mansion while you wait day and night for your husband to arrive and show you his affection.

It always pays off. The waiting, the longing, the slight agony that sometimes pierces your heart and makes you miss him even more than ever.

But he always returns. Always, without a single exception.

In those times whenever you were waiting eagerly for your husband to return, you had plenty of time to think about every possible possibility. How your lives would change when your little one arrives, what kind of mother you’d be to your child, what kind of father Fyodor would be… you never once doubted him.

You trust him with all your heart and secretly, this trust gives Fyodor immense strength, even if he never verbally acknowledged it. He knows that you trust him, and your trust and love work wonders on him.

From a logical perspective, he is not someone who needs love or acknowledgment, praise or appreciation. But with you by his side, loving, appreciating, trusting, understanding, and caring for him unconditionally, he acknowledges that everything is so much more beautiful as you bestow pure joy into his previously cold and inhumane life.

Your little family already makes him feel more human. You make him feel human. Not that he thought that he ever cared about being inhuman, but it turns out that he is, indeed, not much different than other human beings.

Feeling like a human has an incredible vulnerability to it. But with you, he can’t help but bow down to his own humanity, to his own vulnerability.

“I love you...”

His eyes glimmer with a faint shadow, and you can see inside his eyes how his sentence continues.

‘…I love both of you.’

To read my other works and the backstory to this scenario => MASTERLIST

#bsd fyodor #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #fyodor x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #fyodor x you #yandere bsd #bsd #yandere fyodor

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weirdsht · 1 month ago

Text

Disillusioned 20 . Overdue

a/n: OMFG AFTER 20 CHAPTERS I FINALLY FOUND WHAT FACE MASK I WAS ENVISIONING, apparently it's called a face veil. the one I specifically had in mind is a hanfu face veil

also while writing this I had to reread the novel because I wanted to use the exact lines Alberu said, and holy sht does it get funnier every time I read it

tags: possessive/overprotective cale, fluff, attempt at comedy

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

Buy Me Dessert

Navigation Masterlist prev . next

“Let’s use this opportunity to reveal _____’s existence.”

“Pardon me but I literally just got here…”

_____ was taken aback by the crown prince inside Cale’s room. Not necessarily by his presence as Raon had already informed the healer through telepathy, hence the extra tea, but rather at his words.

“We’re already going to give the people a lot of surprises before the program starts why not maximise it?”

The healer listened to Cale as they poured everyone a cup of tea. In the corner of their eyes, they can see Raon offering them a piece of cookie.

“Yes, I also can’t hold off the nobles wishing to investigate Medicus-nim any longer. At every meeting, they insist on knowing the mysterious healer who’s always by our beloved commander’s side.”

All three adults know what the nobles really want is to pry the healer away from the commander’s side but no one said it out loud.

“So _____ is also very popular! Good for you kindest _____!”

_____ accepted the cookie the young dragon was offering before talking.

“I deeply apologize for the trouble I have caused. I know you’re already busy blocking off the churches because of Mary-nim.”

Sip

The healer took a small sip of tea before continuing.

“If everyone agrees that it’s time for me to make my presence known again then I shall abide.”

Raon held another cookie on _____’s lips despite the healer already holding one. Giving in to the child’s wishes, _____ took a bite of the cookie.

“Then it’s settled. I shall officially announce that you are alive and well. I shall also officially announce that you will be inheriting half of the Perduellio’s assets.”

The Medicus looked down for a moment to see the young dragon playing with their discarded face veil. Raon is trying to wear _____’s veil but can’t quite tie the strings at the back.

“Wouldn’t doing that get the crown some backlash? I am still a Perduellio even though I do not share their blood.”

“They won’t. No one will even dare have a passing thought that you’re involved in their crimes once they hear how they discarded you.”

Cale motioned over to Raon as he spoke. Once the dragon was in front of him, he tied the strings of the veil that reminded the redhead of the Chinese traditional dramas he used to watch back in high school.

Thump

Finally, things sunken in on _____. As they they did the healer felt a sense of nervousness. Unsure if they will be able to handle such responsibility.

Cale who noticed the healer’s hands tremble ever so slightly grabbed them. Holding hands seems to be the new norm for the two.

“I’m not sure if I’ll do a good job but I promise to do my best.”

“Since that’s settled, let’s go back to our previous topic. As I was saying, I need to borrow Choi Han and you.”

Alberu ignored the two showing affection despite not being romantically involved and instead focused on feeding Raon more sweets.

_____ took that as a sign to go back to their bedroom. The commander and healer duo reluctantly let go of each other’s hands and the crown prince kept pretending his blind.

Two days later, at the centre of Huiss, both nobles and normal citizens of the Roan Kingdom gathered to watch the award ceremony and celebration.

“I’m sure everybody is shocked at my sudden announcement of my instructor.”

It’s true, no one had expected Choi Han to come in together with the crown prince, much less be announced that the youngest swordmaster is his highness’ instructor.

“However!”

The healer took it as a sign to stand up.

“There is still one more surprise.”

_____ could feel and hear the nobles whispering amongst themselves. Scared of what’s to come.

“Everyone knows about this one particular healer, the one who’s always by Commander Cale’s side. Surely everyone is curious as to who could that be.”

At that moment Choi Han assisted _____ towards the platform where he and Alberu are. This made everyone even more intrigued as the swordmaster looked like a knight escorting a noble.

The healer muttered a thanks towards Choi Han before stepping to be beside Alberu.

“However, you all them better than you think you do. Young master _____ could you do the honours?”

Both the hall and the plaza are filled with murmurs and questions. Everyone is asking one another if they heard the crown prince correctly.

“How could this be real? Isn’t the Medicus dead for two years?”

“But they never presented a body…”

“Well, how could they retrieve a body that died in the Dessert of Death.”

To quell the masses' growing questions, _____ finally pulled down their hood and removed the face veil they were wearing.

Questions and doubts turned into exclamations of celebration.

“It’s Medicus-nim…”

“Our Medicus-nim is safe!”

“All this time Medicus-nim has been helping defend our kingdom!”

These are some of the comments that can be heard throughout the plaza.

Meanwhile, the nobles in the hall are just as shocked but are more composed about it. However, it’s still noisy as everyone is murmuring amongst themselves.

Alberu raised his hand indicating silence as he still had more to say.

“Young master _____, most of you may know them as Roan Kingdom’s Medicus. Two years ago we received the devastating news that they have died but that was not the case.”

Alberu steps forward for dramatic effect.

“Today the truth shall be revealed! What really happened was that young master _____ found out about Perduellio’s wrongdoings. However, before they could report to me directly what they found out their family threw them in the Dessert of Death. Luckily the Dark Elves found the young master in time.”

Gasp could be heard throughout.

For the citizens that wrongdoing was the announced fraud, tax evasion, and embezzlement done by the family. The nobles and those with a strong network of information, know it’s most likely pertaining to the human trafficking case that happened in the Gyerre Territory.

“It is essentially thanks to the young master that we found out about the Perduellio’s true nature. Even after what happened to them, they still looked after our kingdom.”

Half a lie of a story, but who would dare try to verify it? In addition to that, how would they verify it when the Perduellios are within Cale and Alberu’s clutches?

“As of today the title and territory of the Perduellio’s shall belong to young master _____. Along with this comes half of the assets they used to own.”

The nobles waited for more, scared of the power the Medicus was about to hold. Surely that can’t be it. Not only does the healer have great contributions during the war, but they have also essentially reported traitors within the kingdom.

At that moment, Alberu gave the spotlight to _____.

“When his highness the crown prince came and talked to me, he had offered to give me more rewards for my contributions during the war. However…”

Soft and gentle voice that everyone missed listening to can be heard. This made everyone silent so they could tune in better, especially the citizens. This is essentially the first time _____ is making a public statement.

“I refused it. I may have not known before what my adoptive family was doing, but I still unknowingly helped fund it. For that, I deeply apologize to the citizens of my beloved kingdom.”

_____ bowed deeply as an apology.

There’s no way for the healer to know, but at that moment protests could be heard in the plaza. People are saying things like “they should have accepted the rewards as they deserve it” and “there’s no way they could have known, Medicus-nim is also a victim”.

“As a further apology for the Perduellio’s misdemeanours, I promise everyone that I will further help the citizens of our kingdom by doubling the charity events I used to do in the past. I also promise to straighten out the Perduellio territory.”

‘And do my best to provide some land where the Dark Elves can live.’

_____’s voice was soft but stern. Everyone can see the determination in the healer’s eyes.

Ever since _____ has heard from Cale about how Alberu is planning to give them Perduellio’s territory, the healer has set their mind on providing a land where the Dark Elves could live. The healer is aware that with how things are right now, Alberu can’t give them a separate land himself. So _____ took it upon themself to provide them with land to help normalize their existence and help the crown prince award them their land faster.

After _____’s proclamation, Alberu took over again and the healer went back to where they were seated before. As they did they put their hood and veil back up. There honestly wasn’t a need to do so.

However…

“Cale, I am truly, very proud of you.”

There it is.

“I am very happy to have such a precious younger brother like you”

It took every fibre of _____’s being to not laugh.

The reason why the healer pulled their hood and veil back up is so that no one would be able to see them laugh. While watching the theatrics Alberu is doing _____ remembered the private conversation they had the night before where they talked about how dramatic Alberu should be for this moment.

‘This is more fun than I thought.’

It was after dinner, the entire Henituse family might eat their dinners separately but that doesn’t stop Cale, _____, and the kids from eating together. Eating almost every meal together had been their norm for a year, being in the Henituse castle is not going to change that.

The healer opened the door to their room that was placed just beside Cale. As they did the first thing they see is a quarter Dark Elf reading the novel they had just finished reading.

“A man who got transported inside a novel as the empire’s hostage second male lead then promised to live a simple life so they won’t die for the male lead but ended up making both the male and female lead attached to him? This is interesting I might have to borrow this book from you so I can continue reading it later”

“I didn’t know the crown prince of our kingdom is also a professional in breaking and entering. You truly are a man of many talents.”

Alberu is leisurely sitting on one of _____’s couches while eating a cookie he bought himself. The healer closed the door and sat down in front of him.

“What brings your highness here?”

The crown prince already visited the other night, there’s essentially no reason for him to visit again. It also can’t be an emergency because if it was then he would be in Cale’s room.

“I’m here to talk about your rewards for your contribution during the war.”

_____ refused immediately.

“Your highness, I’m sorry but I must reject.”

The two started talking about the possible backlash if _____ receives too much. The healer also let Alberu know of their plan about letting the Dark Elves in their territory once they become a count.

None of them knew how but the topic gradually shifted to something more lighthearted.

“So you know how my dear dongsaeng has been giving me headaches right?”

The healer nodded.

“I want to pay him back for his efforts somehow.”

Without missing a beat _____ spoke up.

“Make the sworn brothers reveal dramatic your highness. Make it look like you are brothers that have been reunited after being apart for hundreds of years.”

“You really get me Medicus-nim! That’s exactly what I was planning to do.”

Alberu starts talking about the script he had in mind. As _____ hears more about it the more they could envision Cale having a sour look on his face.

The two conspired together to make a script that would make play directors run for their money with how dramatic and grand it is.

“Your highness after grabbing his hand I suggest looking moved while saying “There’s probably nobody in the world who is upright and has no greed like my younger brother” it’ll probably give your dongsaeng nightmares for at least a week.”

And so that’s where they are right now.

_____ had to cover their mouth with their hand. To others, it'll look like the healer was just deeply moved. But the sworn brother knows that the healer is fighting for their life to not laugh out loud.

“I am happy as well. Hyung-nim.”

The one-sided play put on by Alberu ended when Cale finally called the crown prince ‘hyung’ out loud. After that fiasco, the award ceremony finally started.

Mary and the Dark Elves just didn’t mention how pink _____’s face was from holding back laughter.

After the ceremony, the healer changed their outfit into something more fitting for a noble before going over to where Cale is.

“Hahahaha! Cale you should’ve seen your face. It was so funny.”

“You definitely planned that with the crown prince didn’t you?”

Cale is glad that _____ is more expressive and is more joyful now. He just doesn’t appreciate how the healer is currently laughing at him.

“Of course I did. I don’t think I would be able to hold it in if I didn’t know what’s going to happen in advance.”

“Just keep laughing. Let’s see who’ll get the last laugh once you choke on your dessert.”

“Hahahaha!”

No one can hear the conversation the two nobles are having. So in their eyes, it just looks like two good friends having a chat as they didn’t notice the slightly sour look on Cale’s face.

Some might even speculate that something is going on between the two.

How could they not when there’s a blatant fondness in the young man’s eyes?

It honestly looks like his blasting his feelings for everyone to see.

The Henituse family calling over _____ to talk to them does not help the future rumours.

“It’s good that your territory is just right beside us. Remember to call us for anything you need help with.”

“If anyone mistreats you or questions your power tell us or Cale immediately.”

It also doesn’t help that Deruth and Violan are acting as if _____ is their child. The whole thing honestly screams ‘Not only am I being protected by this new dukedom, but I am also very much loved by them.’

That was why some nobles had the great idea of trying to approach the newly named Count while they were eyeing the sweets selection. Since they couldn’t approach Cale they switched their targets to _____.

Not only are they acquainted with the Henituse Duchy, but they are also reputable themself. Their power is unstable opening an opportunity for other nobles to help them, and they have a gentle personality. There’s a lot to gain by forming a relationship with someone like that.

So two nobles set their eyes on _____.

However, before they can even try to speak an overwhelming presence makes itself known. The aura of this person is so strong that it feels suffocating.

“I told you to come to me after talking to my parents.”

“But I saw this cake that looks good. I wanted to get it for us and Raon to taste.”

“Where is it? If it’s good let's ask Beacrox to make it.”

The two nobles tried approaching again once they saw the friendly atmosphere between the two. However, they stopped in their tracks once they saw the commander look at them directly in the eye.

‘Wasn’t he just smiling at the healer a second ago??’

Cale who made his Dominating Aura slightly stronger looked back at _____ who was none the wiser.

“Let’s go Raon is waiting for us on the terrace.”

“Ah right! I have to let him taste this, let’s go.”

With that, the two nobles lost their chance to even glance at _____.

“I’m sorry… I wanted to join you this time too.”

Once again the commander and healer duo are talking. Unlike their conversation earlier, this one is more serious. More private.

“Don’t worry about it, there's more than enough of us to finish the task.”

As usual, their hands naturally found their way towards each other. Cale squeezed _____’s hand to further show that it really is okay.

In that moment it was just the two of them in their own bubble. Nothing else mattered; not Raon stashing away desserts, not the nobles partying back there, not even White Star watching from the live feed in the plaza.

Just the two of them in their own world. Reassuring each other that everything will be alright.

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