#i’m getting like goosebumps during every song

[pipperoo]

wow, y’all really weren’t lying, huh? why are pulp musicals literally the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard???? what have i been doing, why haven’t i listened to them so much fucking sooner?????

[rimunagenius]

I Could Die For you

ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x reader

ʚ word count: 1.2k

ʚ warnings: RPF!! , fluff, fluff, literal fluff, so much love that it’s sickening

ʚ rimunagenius speaks: to make up for that last post about emily because what the flip!! also the first Kate fic i’ve released that hasn’t been in a series!! yay! also ofc i had to write Kate to one of my favorite love songs!!💕 if you guys do not listen to this song and love it, i’m quitting writing and reporting everyone’s blog…

| Women’s Basketball Masterlist |

Something inside the cards I know is right

Don't wanna live somebody else's life

Kate was so happy. She knew her life was exactly where she wanted it to be. Cold mornings like this, wrapped in the bed sheets, both your bodies wrapped together to create the most perfect fit to a puzzle.

With your head resting on her body, your nose nuzzling perfectly into her neck, your soft snores and exhales ticking her skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

The way your hand rested on her chest, and the way Kate's hand rested on your waist from the way she was holding you into her body. She knew she didn't want to be anywhere else but here. Lying here, wide awake admiring you and thanking god or whoever was out there, that she was able to do this, and do it with you.

This is what I want to be

And this is what I give to you because I get it free

"Oh my god, Kate." You stood in shock in your guys' kitchen. You had a rough day at work, letting Kate know that while you sat in your office, counting down the minutes until you could come home. So when you walked through the door and wandered into the living room where Kate was watching the NBA finals, she got up to greet you and took you to the kitchen, giving you the flowers and chocolate she picked up on her way home from practice today. 

You had a new adjustments to make since leaving Iowa. Picking up your life and moving to Las Vegas with Kate when she found out she made the roster officially, after living in a hotel room during training camp. You loved her so much, and you had so much faith in the person she was and the skills she had, you knew moving across states wasn't going to be a regret you had years down the line. 

Tears welled in your eyes, the overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation radiating from the blonde who stood a few feet away. "Aw, don't cry. Why are you crying, baby?" Kate walked up to you, wrapping her arms around your neck so you buried your face into her chest. 

"Because. You do this for me just for having a bad day. Your days are full of stress with basketball, still proving yourself, and tired from your work. I don't deserve you, Kate." You were a mess. You missed a lot of things. You missed your old friends, how close your guys' family used to be, and you missed Kate while she was gone. You missed a lot of things—you've longed for those things, but you loved your life here with Kate. You two away from what you knew and grew accustomed to, to independently make what you want and need. 

You loved it but you couldn't help but long for what used to be your life sometimes. "You deserve everything. You deserve the world and more because you packed your life up just because you believed in me. This is the very least I could do for you. I will continue to show you how important you are to me and who I am. You make me better so I'm going to show you every day til I can't anymore. I love you. You work hard and you deserve to be appreciated and seen." 

That made the tears fall harder, but you looked up at Kate, and couldn't believe this was your girl. The woman you got to spend and do life with. You kissed her lips chastely, hugging her close again. You two stood there, looking at the pretty flowers and sharing some of your chocolate. 

She smiles while I do my time

It was so early in the morning. Kate waking you up for a travel day for the Aces. It was an away game to Los Angeles and you wanted to make this game so you took the days off. 

You hated getting up early, and the stress that came with traveling was truly not a great time. Kate knew it, but she loved that you were willing to do it for her.  You didn't like most things, but the look on your girlfriend's face when you watched her do the thing she loves most, play the game that gave her many of the amazing opportunities she's had, it was all worth it. 

Kate walked onto to the court, looking at you behind the Aces bench, and smiled. You already smiling right back at her. She knew that no matter how early she woke you up, or how many times she did it, you'd be there, lift her up, and cheer her on. You knew this was where you wanted to be. 

I could die for you

It was the day after Kate had won the WNBA Finals, and you two had been lying in bed since last night. You couldn't believe that she had come so far from the little girl who idolized the Iowa Hawkeyes Women's Basketball team, to a woman who's grown into the most tremendously courageous and strong woman who won her first WNBA Championship. It was so surreal. 

"You know I love you so much, right?" Kate whispered. One arm wrapped around you, pulling you close to her body, while her other hand held your thigh that lay across her hip. 

"I would hope so." You giggled softly, looking up at the blonde above you, your hand went from her chest to the side of her face, resting against her cheek. You looked into her eyes, the blue of them convincing you more by the second that they were better looking than the sky outside. 

"No, I'm serious. You are the love of my life. I would be so lost without you. I don't think I could live without you—let alone do what I've done this past year without you." Her voice wavered, you could tell her emotions still running high after the night she had last night. 

"Kate, my love." You chuckled nervously, the confession making you giddy, but also overwhelmingly more in love with Kate, if that was even possible. It brought tears to your eyes.

"You make me so happy. Just being right here, with you, is more important to me than winning another ring." 

"Oh my god Kate, stop it. You're going to make me cry. I'm so in love with you." You wiped a small tear that fell down your cheek. Kate smiled down at you, willing herself to not close her eyes and just die happy right here with you. 

"I'm so in love with you, I could die." Kate giggled softly, wiping her eyes before leaning down and kissing your lips softly. You smiled into the kiss. You smiled so hard you couldn't even kiss properly. A fit of giggles came from the both of you. 

"Ah! Kate, stop it! Oh my god, Kate!" You screamed and giggled as she left kisses and tickles everywhere she could reach, especially in your most ticklish spots. You two couldn't be anymore happier. Kate wouldn't want to be anywhere else unless you were there, under her arms or wrapped in them. 

Oh, this life I choose.

You two were just simply two girls in love and wouldn't have it any other way. 

[spooky-holtz]

You Don't Need To Keep It Hush

Melissa Schemmenti x reader

Genre: fluff, VERY suggestive, its so close to being smut

Word Count: 2.7k

Prompt: based on the song 'Toothbrush" by DNCE (cringe, I know)

------------------------------------------------

There is an undeniable warmth coursing through your body when you finally manage to wake in the morning hours of a spring Saturday. The sun that peeks through the open curtains casts your bedroom in a yellow hue, the glow making the once boring room seem so much more enticing. While this helps the warmth you can feel, there is no doubt in your mind that the main culprit is the body pressed against your back.   

A heavy arm is wrapped around your waist and a soft pair of lips exhale gentle snores onto the smooth expanse of your back. You can’t help but smile as memories of the night before come flooding back. Flashing details of red hair and heavy breaths surge through your mind, the heat that was already coursing through you growing exponentially as you remember the sounds that left the lips currently pressed gently to your spine.   

You can feel the smile that graces your lips before you realize it's even there, a blush creeping across your cheeks as the sight of Melissa’s heaving chest comes straight to the forefront of your mind.   

You had never meant for your relationship with Melissa to end up this way. You had simply started as co-workers, but that’s how it always starts, right? What was the odd weekend catch-up over coffee quickly turned into full-blown meals together and now Melissa is like clockwork, always managing to turn up at your apartment door at 6pm on the dot every Friday after school, a bottle of wine and a bag of take-out under her arm. What started as a way to simply relieve stress after a rather tipsy suggestive conversation during one of those evenings has easily become the best part of your week.  

You’re snapped from your thoughts by the arm around your waist tightening, pulling you closer into the redhead as she lets out a quiet groan.   

“Jesus Christ, couldn’t you have managed to close the curtains properly last night?” she asks, her voice thick with sleep. You let out a laugh, a sharp exhale through your nose as she pushes her face further into your spine to escape the harsh glow of the morning sun.   

“You didn’t even give me chance to, you know that right?” You retort, playfulness laced in your tone.   

Melissa’s manicured nails scratch gently at your bare stomach as she stirs, pondering her next comment. You feel her smile as goosebumps erupt across the flesh of your torso where her hand lays, clearly feeling the effect her touch alone has.   

“Touche,” she says through her sleepy grin, “Can you blame me, though? Those plaid pajama pants you had on last night were extra sexy.”   

You turn your head slightly to look at her over your shoulder, only seeing the mess of red hair that is sprawled across the pillows she insists on keeping in your bed. Before this little arrangement you were quite happy with a single pillow but, of course, Melissa had her way and now the head of your bed is adorned with well over half a dozen pillows for the single night she spends here every week. The sound of soft giggles breaks through your faux-offended silence as she chuckles into the skin of your back before pressing a soft pair of lips between your shoulder blades.  

“I’m just kidding, babe,” she says, her voice still incredibly raspy from the slumber she has just awoken from. Your stomach flips at the little nickname. The giddy feeling you always get whenever Melissa calls you ‘babe’, or ‘hun’, or ‘sweetheart’ never gets old, even if she has been calling you some variation since you met in the teachers’ lounge at Abbott. The words carry an entirely new meaning now than they did a few years ago.  

Even if you aren’t technically in a relationship, you know that her words carry the affection that she shows you in other ways. That same affection is there in the sickly-sweet cup of coffee that waits in front of your seat in the teacher’s lounge every single morning, directly next to the redhead’s Stanley Tucci mug. It’s in the requests to get your classes grouped together during every single Abbott field trip. You see it in the way she’s memorized your take-out order for each restaurant this side of Philly, or the tupperware filled with leftovers that she brings you most days. While you both may not explicitly say that you love each other, you hope that these actions speak so much louder than words possibly could.   

“You’re an asshole, I hope you know that,” you say, breaking the growing tension between you. You feel her lift her head from the pillow, the hand that rests against your stomach pulling to roll you onto your back so you can get a real look at her face.   

Her chin is resting on her hand, propped up against the soft mattress and awaiting your gaze. You can’t help but be taken aback by just how beautiful she is. The sun reflects off her fiery hair, giving it a golden tint that creates a halo around her head. Her eyes sparkle with mischief as she teases you, knowing exactly what to say to invoke a reaction from you, only so she can soothe the ‘hurt’ a few seconds later.  

“Yeah, but I’m your asshole,” she says, batting her eyelashes that still wear the remnants of yesterday’s mascara, the makeup collecting under her eyes that are impossibly bright despite her sleepy state. You scrunch your nose at the statement. She does nothing but giggle, seeing your immediate disgust – she knows what she’s doing.

You can’t help but feel all traces of negativity leave your system when you feel her relax against you, choosing to move her head from her hand to rest her chin on the soft flesh of your chest. She looks up at you through her incredibly thick eyelashes and you feel your entire demeanour soften within seconds. You let the comfortable silence take over for a few moments, the two of you simply taking each other in. Her head rests against a chaotic pattern of red lipstick stains that cover your skin from the night prior. You can still feel each kiss that left each mark burning your skin.  

“Morning, gorgeous,” you say, a hint of a smile playing at your lips. She rolls her eyes at the nickname, but the blush that spreads rapidly across her cheekbones and down the milky expanse of her chest reminds you just how much she loves being called that. She’s propped herself up again, looking down at you with unspoken admiration as your free hand traces patterns up and down her spine. She forgoes words and instead trails her hand up your body to rest against the side of her neck, her nails once again scratching gently at the flesh there.   

She pulls you toward her gently, meeting your lips in the empty space between. She’s careful to use a tenderness that is only reserved for you, gently pressing your lips together while you hum your appreciation for the action into the quiet of the room. She moves languidly against your lips, taking her time to show her affection. You automatically move your hand to cup her jaw, moving her head to deepen the kiss and regain your control. You feel her gasp at the action as she reciprocates hungrily, tracing her tongue against the swollen flesh of your bottom lip. You can’t help but groan quietly against Melissa’s lips, feeling her smirk into the kiss.  

With a newfound satisfaction for your appreciation, Melissa moves away slightly and swings her leg over your waist coming to rest on the other side of your waist. She uses the leverage to straddle your hips completely, trapping you on the bed between her thick, pale thighs. As she pulls back from the kiss to look down at you through curtains of red hair, you can’t help but notice the shift in her energy, the relaxed Melissa you had just seconds ago being replaced by one that has an undeniable hunger in her eyes. It’s the same look you’ve come to recognize every Friday evening, and one that you will never tire of.  

You’re half-hypnotized as you look back at her, a mixture of her incredible beauty and intoxicating actions rendering you useless. She just smirks as you stare at her dumbly, knowing that she has you wrapped around her little finger. You find it incredibly easy to lose yourself in these moments, taking in the wrinkles around her eyes that deepen when she smiles, her bright green eyes never leaving your own.  

She’s looking down at you with a similar admiration, her eyes flitting from your own down to your lips and back. You raise your eyebrow slightly in a silent taunt, inviting her to act as she sees fit.  

She wastes no time in leaning back in, this time bypassing your lips completely and attaching her own to your sharp jawline. Her hands rest on the pillow either side of your head, trapping you in place, as if you had any desire to be free from the situation. Though your eyes are closed with pure bliss, you can feel her mussed red hair tickling against the skin of your chest as she moves one hand to rest against your jawline, maneuvering your head to reach the places she needs to reach.  

You whine as she tilts your head, her lips travelling across your jaw and down the expanse of your neck. She finds the sweet spot underneath your ear and latches to the skin there, the firm grip she has stopping you from moving away from the inevitable mark she will leave there. Covering that on Monday morning is the least of your worries right now, with the only thought coursing through your mind being Melissa’s intoxicating floral scent. You can feel her heavy breathing in your ear as she works, the sound only bringing back welcome memories of the night prior.  

As if she’s reading your thoughts, you feel Melissa’s hips push into yours from where she sits atop you. The feeling of her undeniable arousal on your stomach making your head spin, the hands that rest on her hips guiding her and pushing further into you. You’re given a slight reprieve from the overwhelming sensations as she begins to pull away from your neck, moving her head upwards to look at you properly again.  

“I guess I forgot to say, ‘good morning’”, she says, licking her lips. There is no denying that she knows exactly how to rile you up and you know she’s proud of it with the smug expression she wears. Over the last few months Melissa has learned your body like the back of her own hand, knowing exactly what spots will have you melting at her touch and bending at her mercy. She runs her thumb over your swollen bottom lip from where her hand still sits against your jaw, her strong grip keeping you in place. She looks at you almost expectantly but all you can do is stare back with your mouth slightly agape, wondering exactly what you did to deserve this wake-up call.  

“Jesus Christ Mel, you’re going to have to give me a few minutes before you pull that shit again.” You say, sighing through the sentence.  

You feel her giggle as her face breaks into one of those cheesy grins that you love, her dimples becoming more pronounced as she does so. You don’t think you will ever tire of the bliss and domesticity of your Saturday mornings with Melissa. Even if you aren’t in a ‘real’ relationship, it’s an unspoken rule that she’s not allowed to leave before you can cook her breakfast (or brunch, depending on how long you decide to stay wrapped up in bed together). Sometimes she helps you by chopping fruit or brewing the pot of coffee on the kitchen surface, stealing glances from the other side of your apartment’s small kitchen. 

The comfortable silence is broken by a quiet sigh from the redhead before she begins to move off you.  

“I guess I should probably start getting ready for the day,” she says, swinging her leg back over your hip so her bare feet can reach the cold hardwood floor of your bedroom, “Those papers won’t grade themselves.”  

She picks up your crumpled Blondie shirt from the night before from where it lays discarded on the floor at her feet, pulling it over her head before she shakes her hair out. You can’t help but watch her in awe. She truly makes even the most mundane of tasks seem incredible.  

She moves toward the bathroom as you sit up in bed, wrapping the now warm sheets around your torso to cover the smattering of lipstick stains across your chest that will probably sit there for another few hours. You can hear her as she rummages through her bag, no doubt trying to find the toothbrush she always swears she packed before leaving her own home the evening before. You sit cross-legged as you wait for the rummaging to stop and the sound of running water to start. As if she can hear your thoughts, her head appears in the bathroom doorway, a sheepish smile on her face.  

“You wouldn’t happen to have a spare toothbrush I can borrow, do you?” She asks. Her fingernails drum on the doorframe as you stare back at her, the soft smile on her face relaxing her anxiety radiating from her.  

“Check the cabinet. I bought you one while I was in the grocery store yesterday.” You say, your smile growing wider with the evident relaxation on the redhead’s features. “You can always just leave it here then, ya know? You’ll never have to remember a toothbrush if you already have one at my place.”  

She cracks a grin from where she stands, hand removed from the doorframe and playing with the rings that sit on her fingers. “Thanks, hun,” she says quietly, the sheepish grin back on her features, “I really appreciate it.” 

She disappears again and you can feel yourself slipping away with the easiness of these mornings. There is a domesticity that you’ve found yourself craving since meeting Melissa that you can only find in the Saturday’s you spend together tangled in sheets. You know that there is something more to it but the thought of ruining this near-perfect arrangement stops you from taking the next step with her.  

“Hey, how would you feel about going out for breakfast with me this morning?” You blurt out into the empty room. You can hear Melissa’s actions freeze as the quiet swishing of her new toothbrush against her teeth stills. She pads toward the doorframe again, toothbrush still in hand and foamy toothpaste covering the corner of her mouth. The sight of her makes your heart melt in your chest, knowing that nobody else gets to see her this vulnerable.  

“What, like, out-out?” she asks, her brows furrowed slightly. The question makes your gaze drop to your hands, suddenly incredibly distracted by the way that you’re picking at your cuticles.  

“Yeah, I uh, I thought that maybe we could actually go on a kind of date instead of, you know, just doing this and then not seeing each other until Monday?” You say, more to the bed sheets than to Melissa herself. You’re trying so hard not to be offended by her lack of answer, knowing that even saying anything that could hint toward your real feelings was the worst decision you could have made.  

Before you can decide to get up and remove yourself from the situation you’ve created the bed dips in front of you and a warm hand comes to rest against the side of your face. Melissa is kneeling on the crumpled white sheets that are half-wrapped around you, the grin she’s wearing showing you her newly cleaned teeth. You don’t have a chance to react before her lips are on yours, the redhead’s grin making it impossible for her to kiss you the way she really wants. She holds you delicately, the softness of her actions a sharp departure from the night before.  

It’s a short few seconds before she pulls away and meets her eyes with yours, her chest still heaving from the exertion.  

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

[furioussouls]

There’s a part of me that recognises you.

[yandere! oc x chubby reader]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Song: Chihiro by Billie Eilish

Warning: yandere behaviour( I dont condone yandere behaviour in real life, this is just fiction), chubby reader (uses she/her pronouns), cursing, lucid dreaming, spirituality

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Standing knee-deep in the ice cold water while the salty breeze of the sea hit your face, you stroked over the goosebumps that rose over your plump arms. The radiant full moon illuminated your face and your eyes took in the view of the beautiful beach in front of you. The beach that you’ve been seeing every single night in every dream you had. The beach where you met him for the first time.

You don’t remember when the dreams first started, nor whether the guy you met in your dreams was just a person you once saw passing through a crowd, or just a result of your brain coming up with the image of the most beautiful guy alive.

You are completely aware of the fact that you’re dreaming. Whenever you saw him, you knew that you were dreaming. Your very own personal man of your dreams. Whenever you woke up, a heavy sense of sadness and dread filled you. Not only because the most perfect man disappeared from your grasp yet again, but also because you weren’t sure what was happening. Was it just a weird reoccurring lucid dream? Was it a memory? Or something entirely different?

Completely lost in thoughts, you stared at the gentle waves when familiar arms wrapped around your plush torso from behind. The comforting scent of oranges, sandalwood and jasmine infiltrated your nose and your worries eased a little. You smiled while keeping your gaze on the reflection of the moon on the water surface.

“I missed you during the day”, you whispered and he chuckled and squeezed you firmly.

“Darling, I can’t even begin to describe how much I missed you. I wish I could just sleep forever so we can see each other all the time.“, he sighed and buried his nose in your hair. He inhaled deeply and let out a small groan.

You turned around and looked at him. He leaned forward and gently kissed your nose. You wrapped your arms around him and buried yourself in his chest. His smell engulfed you and his hands gently squeezed whatever they could reach.

He‘s not real, he’s not real.

After a long minute you spoke up, “Can we sit down?“, you asked him and pointed to your usual sitting spot.

He nodded with a gentle smile and both of you sat next to each other in the sand, and he started to pick up pretty shells for you.

“How was your day?“, he asked you and you sighed and leaned back. His eyes immediately found yours and he furrowed his brows in concern.

He‘s not real.

“It was the same as always“, you replied numbly and looked up at the stars.

He put his large hand in the middle of your stomach and tenderly rubbed your lower belly fat.

“I hate that you’re so stressed about your life. Every night you look more exhausted and unhappy and seeing you like that feels like I’m getting stabbed in my chest. I wish I could take you away from everything, Darling. ", he told you and for the first time tonight he wasn’t smiling.

Your heart fluttered but immediately afterwards a wave of embarrassment and sadness washed over you. You’re taking like this with an imaginary man. A man from your dreams. He wasn’t real. None of this was. You can’t keep going like this.

You stood up walked back into the water and looked straight ahead, his arms gently squeezing around you again.

“What are you thinking about? “, he asked you, his chin now gently resting on your shoulder. His slender, veiny hands engulfed your beautifully plumped one.

You turned around to face him again and admired his features; from his shoulder-long blonde hair that shone golden in the light, to his beautiful honey coloured eyes, which brought out the slight freckles speckled across his nose and eyelids and plump lips. His long and lanky body adorned in a white button up and black pants.

His tender eyes scanned you from top to bottom too, his eyes halting on your round hips and pudgy stomach, which were particularly emphasised in this white night gown you were wearing. His gaze softened even more and his hand tenderly stroked up your arm til his hand reached your cheek and he cupped your face in his warm, big hands.

”My precious darling. What’s going through your pretty head, hm?“ he hummed and gently rubbed his aquiline nose against your hairline. “You can talk with me about anything. You know that.“ His hands wandered up and down your back and he pressed his forehead against yours.

“You’re not real.”, you replied quietly and looked down.

Focusing on his button- up shirt was easier than looking into his piercing, loving eyes, but before you had the opportunity to avoid his eyes for too long , you noticed his necklace; it was a crystal. A purple one at that. Was it an amethyst? Before you could spend too much time thinking about his necklace, his hands cupped your round cheeks and made you look up at him again. This time his eyebrows were furrowed and his plump lips pressed to a line.

“What did you just say?”, he asked you solemnly.

A pit formed in your stomach. You gulped and responded, “We‘re dreaming. No, I’m dreaming. You’re not real. You‘re just a man in my dreams that I made up. Our relationship isn’t real and I think we need to stop meeting here.“

You felt pretty stupid for “breaking up“ with someone from your dreams but it was the right thing to do.

The idyllic landscape suddenly turned into a nightmare; heavy lightning bolts struck the ocean and thunder rumbled all around you. Your eyes widened and you felt your pulse pick up.

Your eyes found his again and your jaw dropped open when you saw the tears running down his freckled cheek. You wanted to apologise to him, to comfort him, but before you could even get one word out, he fell on his knees in front of you.

“I don’t know what happened. Just yesterday we were talking about everything until you woke up and now you’re saying that what we have is not real? That our feelings aren’t real? What the fuck happened to make you change your mind?“, he asked loudly with tears streaming down his face. He took your hand and and kissed the palm of your hand and each individual finger softly while tears were dripping on your own hand.

Why would you dream this? Why would it feel so real? He looked at you from below his lashes, expecting an answer and kept your hand close to his mouth.

You felt the world crumble and blur around you. The light of the moon dimmed slowly while the ocean was drying up. This happens every night. This process was as familiar to you as was seeing him and this beach. It could only mean one thing; you were waking up.

He frantically looked around and held you by your shoulders. It was a firm but gentle grip nevertheless. “Please, baby. Please don’t leave me like this, okay? Come back tomorrow, hm? We‘ll talk it all over”, he begged.

Before you could answer, you woke up in your room. Blinking sleepily, your eyes scanned the room and you sighed and brushed your hair back. What the fuck was that about? Shit, you felt even more exhausted than before you went to bed. You were about to get up when you noticed something. The hand that he had kissed desperately, was slightly wet. It looked like the cause for it were small and irregular droplets of water; like his tears.

Goosebumps rose all over your body and your cheeks began to heat up while a cold shower ran down the nape of your neck. The heavy sense of dread expanded in your belly. No, you were probably just going crazy. Nothing extraordinary happening here. Nothing at all. Your eyes slowly drifted back to your hand and you picked your hand up and gently held it under your nose. His familiar scent invaded your nose again and you jumped up from your bed.

Suddenly you remembered his necklaces; the amethyst. Scrambling to your phone you looked up which crystals can help with lucid dreaming and… Amethyst was amongst the top five crystals.

Easy explanation, you were going crazy. You have nothing else going for you in your life so you convinced yourself that the man from your dreams is real. Easy situation.

You needed fresh air; walking outside in the autumnal weather while the dried leaves were crunching beneath you always helped clearing your mind. The refreshing breeze whirled around you and your tense body calmed a bit, when you accidentally walked against somebody. The person dropped their belongings and you apologised and picked up their things. Before you looked them in their face your eyes halted at their necklace; it was the same amethyst from your dream. You took a few steps back and your eyes immediately jumped up to the persons face and it was him. The man from your dreams.

“Hello, baby. We finally see each other during the day too. My name is Ellis“, he said gently with a lazy, soft smile and extremely deep bags beneath his eyes.

[aplaceinme]

For @leashybebes

Thank you so much for requesting this! I really hope you like it!! 💜💜

Song number 73 is “Wildfire” by SYML

“Tommy?” Buck asks, letting himself inside Tommy’s place. 

They had given each other’s keys about a month ago in case of emergencies. It is also a way for them to get inside, and get comfortable while waiting for the other to come home from a shift. After all, it’s quite common for one of them to be late due to a call taking too long. 

They weren’t supposed to meet tonight, but Buck is worried about Tommy. They have hardly texted today, which is weird for them since they are always exchanging texts during their shifts. Even if one of them is not working while the other is –a strange circumstance since they made sure to try to have the same shifts– they are still texting each other about random stuff. Except for today. That, together with the fact that yesterday Tommy canceled on him saying he had a migraine, has made Buck start spiralling with worry. 

Buck has been trying to control his insecurities, to stop thinking that everyone will walk away from him, and since dating Tommy he has gotten better at that. Tommy has an uncanny ability to reassure Buck in different ways. He does it in the way he looks at him, with fondness and adoration, and how he is always quick to compliment Buck about anything and everything. It’s in the way he always keeps in mind the things that Buck likes and dislikes. In the way he always tries to touch him, and not even in a sexual way –though there is plenty of that of course– but in a loving way: a hand on the small of his back, an arm wrapped around his waist when walking, holding his hand whenever possible, cuddling him when watching a movie and in bed, and hugging him any chance he gets. It’s also in the way he listens attentively to Buck’s rambling, asking questions, and later remembering all the details. His love is present in practically every single thing Tommy does and says around Buck. 

That’s why Buck’s sure that Tommy is not trying to ghost him, thinking of breaking up with him, needing a break from him, or anything like that. But something has happened, and Buck needs to know what so that he can help Tommy with whatever he might need. 

“Tommy?” He asks again after not receiving an answer. 

The entire place is quiet and dark. It’s such a contrast to how it usually is that Buck feels weird and his worry grows tenfold. 

Turning on his phone flashlight Buck looks in the living room, Tommy’s office, and then the garage. After not finding him in any of those places, Buck goes upstairs and calls his name again. 

As he nears the bedroom, he starts to hear some soft sniffling. Feeling his heart pounding in his chest and getting goosebumps all over, he carefully opens the bedroom door. 

Tommy is lying on his side, facing away from the door and he is crying softly. 

With his heart breaking into tiny pieces but also alarmed at what could be the cause of this, Buck approaches the bed, climbs into it and hugs Tommy from behind. 

“Evan?” Tommy asks, startled and with a hoarse voice.

Tommy sits up quickly, dislodging Buck’s arms from around him. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was worried about you,” Buck explains, carefully grabbing Tommy’s hands, which are aggressively wiping his tears away. 

“I’m fine,” Tommy says, even though tears keep slowly falling from his eyes.

Buck gently wipes the tears away, and then cups Tommy’s cheeks. “You’re not, love. What’s wrong? You can tell me.” 

Shaking his head, Tommy replies, “No, no, if I tell you I will start to ugly cry again and I can’t… I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a mess, and I’m not supposed to- It’s too much… You shouldn’t see me like this!” Tommy gestures at his face and the state he is in.

After taking a deep breath, Buck grabs one of Tommy's hands and entwines their fingers, giving it a little squeeze.  “Listen closely to me, ok?” 

As his lips tremble and his breathing shudders, Tommy nods hesitantly.

“Do you remember when the 118 got the call about a trailer truck tipping over and falling over someone? How that accident made me have flashbacks of being trapped under the fire engine?” Buck asks in a soothing voice. 

Tommy opens his mouth to speak but Buck doesn’t let him say anything. 

“Do you remember how much of a mess I was? How that night I dreamt that I had lost my leg so I woke up screaming and sobbing?” 

Buck waits for Tommy to nod again before continuing, “And do you remember what you did? You comforted me. You hugged me while I sobbed, not caring that I was getting snot all over your shoulder and chest. And when I apologized and made the self-deprecating comment that I bet I looked like hell, you told me… do you remember what you told me?”

“That you looked beautiful,” Tommy whispers. 

“Yeah, that’s what you said. And it’s the truth for you, too. There’s nothing that would make me think you’re not the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Buck says softly. “You were my rock then, let me be your rock now.”

Tommy sucks in a shuddering breath and buries his face into Evan’s neck, hugging him tight. His body shakes as sobs begin to erupt from his throat. 

Buck swallows the lump in his throat and strokes Tommy’s back in soothing circles. 

Eventually, Tommy tells him that it’s the death anniversary of Alex, the only friend he made during his time in the Air Force. He confesses that he had almost forgotten about it, his mind not registering the date, and how guilty he feels about it. 

Buck holds him and lets him talk about his friend, not interrupting once. Tommy tells him about how Alex was also a closeted soldier, and how they understood each other from the start, becoming thick as thieves. In many ways, Alex had been like the brother Tommy never had. On that fateful day, Alex had requested to go on a dangerous mission instead of Tommy and that was the last time Tommy saw him alive.

When Tommy falls asleep in his arms, exhausted, Buck keeps holding onto him, and silently thanks Alex for saving Tommy’s life.

[syluscore]

Every Version of You

A reverse harem with three variants of Leon Kennedy and feminine reader.

An average day, nothing noteworthy. Until someone intercepts you and your partner a week before you’re gearing up to head out for an assignment. Now there’s nothing average about today, nothing is normal anymore. You’ll never understand. Is it time travel? Is his soul broken apart and now manifesting different versions of himself? All you know is that an older version of Leon is here, insisting he had to come back to save your life with the help of a trusted few. And for some reason his younger self from when you two first met and survived Racoon City together is also here. When your Leon is swept away on a mission to rescue the president’s daughter from a cult in Spain, you’re left to try and prevent your coming death with his past and future self. When he returns, how do you confront everything that has come to the surface with the other two? Will you be able to prevent your ultimate demise? It’s going to take every version of him in order to save yourself.

~ Masterlist ~ Next Part ~

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

SONGS: Always - Bon Jovi and Work Song - Hozier

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR PART ONE: drunkenness, pining, repressed romantic feelings, death, depression, anxiety, tension, kidnapping, violence, drugging, water submersion, self-depreciation, thoughts of dying, desire to die, heartache, angst, hurt with no comfort

!!!!!!!!MINORS DNI! THIS POST AND BLOG ARE 18+ ONLY!!!!!!!!

PART "CHAPTER" ONE:

“I can’t sing a love song, like the way it’s meant to be.” You belt out the lyrics to the last song you remember playing in the bar before the alcohol completely took over. Despite your words slurring, you did your best to mimic the sultry rock tone of Bon Jovi.

“God, you’re so drunk,” Leon laughs as he tries to keep you up right as you make your way down the dark, city streets. 

The only other patrons on this road are other drunks. All of the businesses beyond the bar are closed up and dark. You can still hear the music from the bar thumping in the distance.The late night air is chilly, but you’re too obliterated to take much notice of the goosebumps littering your exposed skin.

“Nooooooo,” you whine at Leon. “You’re supposed to sing the next part. This is a duet, Leon, come on!”

He stares down at you with an amused look on his face. “I’m not doing a Bon Jovi duet with you at 3 am in the middle of the street.”

You pout at him, stopping in your tracks in defiance. He tries to continue pulling you along, but you hold the heels of your feet firmly in place on the cobblestone. The rough texture of the restored downtown district usually pissed you off. You were always tripping over yourself on the uneven terrain, but tonight it’s helping ground you in place. You subconsciously apologize to the ground for all the times you’ve cursed it.

“I can’t sing a love song, like the way it’s meant to be.” You sing the same lyric as earlier loudly, your tone absolutely atrocious. 

Leon sighs before finally giving in, replying with the next line. “Well, I guess I’m not good anymore, but baby, that’s just me.”

You squeal joyfully at his rock ballad impression before clinging to his arm again, allowing him to continue guiding you down the road.

You’re practically screaming at this point, “And I will love you, baby, always. And I’ll be there forever and a day, always.” 

Leon knows he’s lost the battle. Your drunken mind knows no ration, so he sings along with you quietly. He fights the smile threatening to overtake his face, not wanting to encourage you further.

But it’s too late. When he gave in during your small fit, that was all the motivation you needed to give the city street the performance of your life. 

As you continued singing, your hazy mind couldn’t keep track of the lyrics. Leon just shakes his head as you get the words completely wrong. 

He stuffs the warm feeling in his chest down, locking it away as he always does. He doesn’t like how endearing he finds you. The way you carry yourself so carefreely. You’re boldly and unapologetically yourself. It’s everything Leon wishes he could be. He never allows himself to think any deeper on the feelings inside of him. Nothing good ever comes from him expressing the intricacies of the branches growing and entwining deeply in his chest. 

You’ve got your claws deeply embedded into his person. He has killed for you before, many times, and he will do it again without a second thought. You’re his best friend, his partner, his twin flame, but he refuses to vocalize what you mean to him. 

The world is a shitshow filled with unspeakable horrors and ill intent. Boldly caring for anything makes you vulnerable. If you have nothing, then there isn’t anything for the world to steal from you. His life is already overly complicated. He’s merely a prop for the US government. Nothing but a tool, or more accurately a weapon. He’s the weapon they use against bioweapons. A machine that serves its intended purpose and is expected to maintain itself as it sits idly by before it’s needed again.

He finds comfort in this fact somehow. An object doesn’t need to feel or process emotions. It enables him to push down his trauma and function day to day without breaking apart at the seams. If he detaches himself from the physical world enough, going through the motions is a piece of cake. Maybe he’s not living, maybe he’s merely existing, but when he’s with you… he feels everything. He wants to stay in the secureness of being numb, safe and sound within his own walls.

He shouldn’t have agreed to hit up the bar with you tonight. But after being briefed on your next assignment, you needed to be plastered to cope with the new horrors you’d be dealing with. And the truth was Leon cared about you extensively, so he could get through tonight. He’ll drop your drunk ass off at home and then seclude himself from you until it’s time to go on your assignment together. 

“Oh fuck,” you holler as you trip over your own feet, exposed knees crashing into the ground beneath you. You hiss at the stinging of new scrapes on your skin. 

Leon crouches down and attempts to help you up, but you’re super unsteady as your legs shake underneath you. 

“We need to get your drunk ass home before you completely self-destruct.”

You giggle up at him before your eyes connect with his. Your mind goes completely blank as you soften beneath his gaze. This is what it means to get lost in someone’s eyes, it must be. The alcohol running through your system is making it hard to ignore all the pesky feelings you’re able to brush off–to stuff deep down when you’re sober.

What if he leaned down and kissed you right now? What if he finally closed the gap between the two of you? What if he completed those broken pieces of yourself and made you whole again? Finally giving into six long years worth of tension? Your eyes fall down to his plump, wet lips before rising back up to meet his stare. You subconsciously lick your lips in anticipation. Your heart feels like it’s in your throat as the pace of your breathing picks up. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire and you want nothing more than to extinguish the flames, but in the back of your mind you know you want to ignite them further.

Neither one of you break the stare down raging between you two somewhere in the middle of this forgotten street. You could be literally anywhere and it wouldn’t make a goddamn difference. Wouldn’t change a fucking thing. But you know that’s just the loneliness and liquor talking. He’s your Leon, it’s not like that. He’s not like that. You’re not like that. Right?

You’re so lost in one another that you don’t notice the sounds and shifting air around you until it’s too late. While you were lost in your own bubble, you left yourself vulnerable and exposed to the world around you. And it seems the world took advantage of that fact.

Suddenly arms are wrapped around your cowering frame. A hand comes up and covers your mouth, muffling the startled scream tumbling from your throat.

Leon darts forward to pull the person off of you when two men you don’t recognize grab either of his arms and pull him back away from you. His elbows are flying into their sides, his nails digging into their skin. His knees and legs kicking out as he fights to break from their holds on him.

“Don’t make me do this, Leon,” a deep voice speaks to him, but it doesn’t change anything. Leon keeps fighting against them. The man lets out a heavy sigh before swinging his free arm and punching Leon hard in the face, his body instantly going limp at the impact.

You realize you’re crying and whimpering as you shake in the man’s arms. His tight grip on you hasn’t faltered for even a second. You’re powerless, a helpless feeling taking over your entire being. You have no fight in you tonight. You’re too drunk and you immediately regret allowing yourself to be in such a state.

“I’m so sorry.” The man holding you removes his hand from your mouth, but before you can say anything, there’s a stabbing pain in the side of your throat. Your eyes shoot in the direction of his arm, seeing him pulling a now empty syringe away from you. You’ve been drugged. You want to panic, but a fuzzy feeling seeps its way into your muscles and bones. Before you’ve even processed the sudden turn of events, darkness wraps around you like a blanket.

You have no choice but to allow yourself to fall into it.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Waking up feels like you’re trapped underwater. The world is so far away, the only sound surrounding you being your own heart beat thrumming in your ears and the movement of the water flowing around you. Your limbs feel limp, your body weightless. The only thing you can do is allow yourself to sink into it, to embrace the sensations.

But then you begin to open your eyes.

Everything is out of focus, distorted as if looking through someone else’s glasses. You have to force yourself to blink, taking all of your energy to lift your heavy eyelids. 

You can’t help it. You let them fall shut again. Even with your eyes closed, it feels like the world is spinning around you, but at least the ache behind your eyelids stops.

You almost give yourself back over to sleep. Almost. 

You feel hands gripping your arms, shaking you. You assume the person is trying to wake you up and you try to force yourself up, but your blood feels thick in your veins. That under water feeling growing inside your body as well. The feeling is almost peaceful so you cling to it.

The memories start to trickle into your brain that feels like it’s vibrating inside of your skull.

You shoot your eyes open and look down, attempting to focus your eyes as you force yourself to blink rapidly. You feel so fucking high and there’s nothing you can do other then beg yourself to please come down. Even as your eyes start to focus, your brain feels trapped behind a barrier and you still can’t get any appendage attached to this useless body to just move.

This isn’t working. You close your eyes again, instead focusing on your breathing. In, hold, then out. In, hold, then out. Rinse, lather, repeat. You can feel your lungs expanding and retracting over and over in your chest; the feeling has your anxiety rising.

But it’s finally working. Somehow, some way, the anxiety is awakening your nerves and pushing the drugged out feeling away. 

It probably takes twenty or thirty minutes to come back to yourself enough to comprehend what’s happening around you, but it finally does. And what you see has you feeling even more high.

You’re laying on some dingy, old couch. The room around you is dark and dank. It’s somewhere between a basement and a dungeon. The more you look around, the more you think it’s more dungeon leaning. 

You slowly manage to sit yourself up, using every ounce of strength you have to achieve it. You take more deep breaths before pushing yourself up, barely managing to steady yourself as you stand and your knees threaten to give out beneath you. More deep breaths and your head stops spinning, allowing you to open your eyes again. 

The room is small;  just the couch, a lamp, and a door. 

A few shaky paces forward and you’re at the door. Up close, you can see that the old door isn’t closed all the way. Placing one hand on the door frame for balance, you reach forward with the other slowly pushing the door open. And what you see has your head reeling more than the drugs.

This room is much larger than the previous one, the high ceilings nearly three times higher than the previous. Two men stand at a control panel surrounding a large tank of… water? It looks like bubbly, murky, thickened water. Another man stands away from the others, looking lost and out of place in a shadowy corner of the room.

But those are the least concerning elements. What has you screaming out in shock is the man up on the metal platform above the tank holding an unconscious Leon in his arms. It looks like he’s moments from dropping Leon into the mysterious vat of liquid and it has panic overtaking your system.

Every man in the room's attention darts to you at your sudden outburst.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” a man with a thick accent speaks from the control panel.

“What are you doing to him? What the fuck is going on?” You wheeze out. The room grows silent except for your heavy breathing and the weird humming noises coming from inside the tank.

Adrenaline takes over, your survival instincts kicking in as you rush towards the tank, ready to do anything to get Leon away from this death trap.

You throw yourself at the ladder attached to the platform above the tank, ready to do whatever it takes to save him. But large muscular arms wrap around you, trapping your arms at your side.

You kick and scream, anything to break free of his grasp, but to no avail. He’s so much larger than you. Even without the drugs lingering in your system, you’re still not sure you’d stand a chance against him. You’re the damsel in distress, nothing but a sitting duck waiting for your hero to come rescue you.

But the ever dependable hero is in immediate danger, mere feet above his ultimate demise. 

“You ready?” The accented man speaks to the man above the tank.

“Whenever you are.” A gruff voice responds from above. 

The accented man starts counting backwards from ten as the other man starts to move Leon towards the edge, ready to toss him in like nothing but a rag doll.

You’re screaming, pleading, begging them to stop. You’re in hysterics and all of the men ignore you. No one even bothers to spare you a second glance.

You’re completely helpless. You can’t save him. You’ve failed him as you always do. You know if it was you in his position, he’d have saved you effortlessly. He’d never allow you to die like this. He’d never allow you to die at all, but you can’t return that simple fucking favor. 

Please let me be next. Throw me in after him. I could never live knowing I allowed him to die as if he was nothing. He’s everything. If I can’t save him, take me with him. I’ll follow him even in death. What’s a world without Leon Kennedy? I don’t want to know, please don’t make me know.

Your heart shatters as you watch Leon’s limp body fall into the vat of liquid. The man at the control panel flips a giant lever and the liquid glows. The light from the tank is blinding as the man holding you releases you to cover his own eyes. 

You’ve always been a coward and you refuse to be as your best friend dies in front of you. You force your eyes to stay open through the excruciating pain burning in them. 

But then as quickly as it appeared, the light disappears. The man on the platform has collapsed, unconscious above the tank. And weirdly enough, the man lingering in the shadows has collapsed as well. 

You can’t stop the tears as they fall down your face, a sob breaking through your lips as the realization sets in. The tank is empty. Leon is no longer inside.

Did they fucking incinerate him?

You fall to your knees as you shake, your entire body crumbling as the situation truly sets in.

I’m so sorry, Leon. I’m sorry for being such a useless piece of fucking shit. Wherever you are, reach through to me and smite me dead with you. Drag me to the other side with you. Don’t make me stay in a world where you don’t exist. 

I’ll never let you down again. I’ll remind you every day how much you fucking mean to me. You can’t be gone. Please don’t be gone. There’s no me without you. 

You’ve always been larger than this world, Leon, but it’s nothing without you. The world was never worthy of you, and neither was I. But don’t fucking leave me. There’s so many things I haven’t said, too many things I haven’t said. And I’ll forever hate myself for it. 

If your heart isn’t beating, then mine doesn’t deserve to beat either. I’ll rip the fucking thing from my chest to follow you wherever you are now. It beats for you and I think it always has, since the day I fucking met you. 

If not this life then I’ll be yours in the next. I won’t be stupid anymore, I fucking swear it Leon.

I love you Leon Scott Kennedy. I fucking love you. 

And the afterlife can’t fucking have you. I know you and I know that you can look God in the face and fight, kicking and screaming, your way back to me. It’s not your time. All the time in the world would never be enough time to spend with you.

So you bring your ass straight back here and I’ll fall to my knees, devote my life to you. I’ll pray to you if it’s what you ask of me. You are my purpose and there is no meaning to this bullshit life without you in it.

I never got the chance to properly and loudly love you. Never got the chance to show you I love you. You left this world not knowing how much you were loved. And none of it is right. I’ll burn this world down for you, Leon. I don’t care if you want me to or not. This place will not go on without you. I promise, my love. 

If you don’t come back to this world, there will be no world for any mother fucker to ever come back to. No one is more worthy than you and I’ll never allow them to feel as if they are. As if any mortal soul could ever begin to compare.

You’re supposed to stay with me to the end. This can’t be the end. Is this the end? I refuse to accept this ending. I’ll rewrite the whole fucking book until it’s structured around nothing but your happy ending, Leon.

Leon. Not my Leon. I’ve lost you before you were even mine to lose. You left without knowing I’m yours.

[elsgooglyeyes]

long distance situationships are hard. so here’s cute little drabbles about the random domestic things you and ellie would do for me to cope.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟﾟ☾

first off, ellie will do anything with you, and i mean anything. you’ve gotta go drop off a box at the post office? ellie is right by your side. you’ve gotta run to cvs for a new charging cord? ellie is walking up and down the aisles with you because she insisted you get snacks while you’re there.

“i dunno babe…you never know when you’re gonna need snacks. you especially need some when someone wants to come over and like…watch a movie or some shit…” ellie mumbles and shrugs her shoulders. you smile softly and pause, “is that you saying you want to come over and watch a move?” ellie eyes you from the side and bites back a small smile, “i mean if you’re suggesting it, babe. i’d fuckin’ love to. thanks! let’s get these and these…oh! and these…” she starts piling different chips and candy into your basket on top of your charging cord, burying it in the bottom. later that night, you’re both cuddled up in bed, the laptop propped onto of your legs and whirring ever-so dramatically as if it’s a plane about to take off. ellie’s arm and hand is intertwined with your own, your head resting on her shoulder. her thumb draws slow circles on your hand and you hum at the feeling.

“i can’t believe you’re getting me to watch this fuckin’ movie…” she mumbles and you laugh. “it’s my favorite! you’re gonna have to learn to love it,” you state matter-of-factly as the universal intro begins, sung by a bunch of men a capella. you immediately start singing along to the first song, and ellie just chuckles and shakes her head. she sighs softly and gets more comfortable, knowing it’s gonna be something she’ll have to like just because you like it. by the end of the movie, however, she’s engrossed; watching you sing the final songs with enthusiasm and marking the choreography while still seated next to her. you laugh along and ellie pipes up, “i feel like they should’ve revealed benji is a good singer at the end during his solo. that would’ve been a crazy reveal! they should get me to write and direct these,” and then another with “beca and chloe aren’t endgame? what the fuck?” you both end the night in each others arms, a comfortable silence washed over you. your head is buried in her side, trying to engrave her scent into your mind. “can we watch the second one tomorrow…?” ellie whispers and you giggle, nodding your head. “i knew you’d like it” you whisper back. “shut up.”

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟﾟ☾

ellie would sit on the counter as you cook her breakfast, her boxers hung low and hair running rampant. you hum softly as you cook the eggs and begin the bacon. ellie watches you intently, mesmerized by every little thing you do. how can someone make peeling raw meat look so hot? okay, kind of gross. but you make it attractive. her eyes wander down your body, soaking it in like the first and last time she’s ever gonna see it. taking in your marks, scars, wrinkles, and anything else she can make note of like she would need to draw a map of your body. her eyes wander back up to your face, and she smiles softly. “jesus…” she mumbles and your eyes widen a bit as you look at her. “what’s wrong?”

“you’re just…too fucking perfect…everything about you…” she draws on as she continues looking at you. you feel heat rise to your cheeks and you return your attention to the food. “thank you babe…but i’m not all that.”

“ohhh but you are,” ellie mumbles as she slowly gets off the counter and comes up behind you, hands resting on your hips, goosebumps following in their wake. she places a soft, lazy kiss on the spot between your shoulder and neck. her hands roam to your stomach and you swat them away softly, giving her a pointed look with your eyebrows raised. ellie chuckles and places her hands back on your hips and places another kiss, and then another. in between each one she whispers praises to you, “you’re so beautiful,” kiss “and kind,” kiss “and you make me laugh like no one else can,” kiss “i think you’re even funnier than me,” kiss and smirk. your face continues to heat up as she does this. fortunately, the food is done before she can continue and you turn around abruptly in her arms. “food is ready, but we can continue this later, yeah?” you smirk and place a soft kiss on her lips to which she happily accepts. your lips slot together and ellie sighs softly, but you pull away too soon and ellie is left chasing you with her lips. she sighs and grabs a plate to begin eating. “this better be the fastest we’ve ever eaten, babe…” she states as she eats her food quickly, “i’ve gotta show you all the ways you’re perfect to me…” she smirks and puts her attention back to her food as you bite back a smile and begin eating as well.

[e-dubbc11]

No One Needs to Know

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: little drinking, smooches, fluff, maybe a swear word or two

Word Count: 1.6K-ish

Summary: Takes place before Billy and Reader get together, when they’re still crushing on each other and one scene in present day

A/N: Part of the Sweetest Pain Series. I’ll leave the rest of the series linked HERE so I heard the song No One Needs to Know by Shania Twain last week and it just reminded me of this series and sparked this little idea. I’ll link the song at the end.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕💕

Billy didn’t know.

He had no idea that every time he touched you, every cell in your body tingled from the top of your head, all the way down to your toes and the hair on the back of your neck would stand up.

But he was your tattoo artist, he was supposed to touch you, he was supposed to rest his long talented fingers on your warm soft skin as he drew permanent works of art on you for everyone to see, but you weren’t supposed to be turned on by it. The needle gently scratching the surface of your skin for hours, although painful at times, was the best kind of pain and it kept you going back for more.

The growing ache between your thighs, the butterflies in your stomach, and the goosebumps that peppered your skin…all of them were not supposed to happen. Billy’s clean familiar smell of green soap was not supposed to be one of your favorite smells in the world but it was.

Impure thoughts of “What else are those fingers good at besides art?” or “I wonder what it’s like to fuck in the tattoo chair?” raced through your mind almost daily.

A couple of days before your appointments, your heart would begin to beat just a little bit faster than normal, you’d catch yourself daydreaming and smiling for no reason thinking about Billy. You would replay some of your past appointments in your head, how gentle he was drawing little circles on your skin with the petroleum jelly before pressing the needle to your skin, how cool the sharpie felt at first when he needed to free hand some of the flowers on your arm, and how the warm air that escaped his lips moved across your shoulder when he was trying to get the stencil to dry quickly.

All of these thoughts and memories made you question whether or not what you felt for Billy was just a crush or…were you in love with him. Above everything else, the two of you were friends and you didn’t want to ruin the friendship by telling him how you felt if he didn’t feel the same way about you.

It was even difficult to tell your friends what you were feeling for Billy because of his reputation around town of being a womanizer and never having a serious relationship so you never even told them you had a crush on Billy.

They learned how you really felt about him during a karaoke session where you were a little bit tipsy on one of your girls’ nights. You sang Shania Twain’s No One Needs to Know. They figured it out pretty quickly after that. Just as Billy told you he had a secret love of 80’s hair metal, 90’s country was your guilty pleasure. Ever since you had walked into his shop, you had that song playing in heavy rotation.

Am I dreamin’ or stupid?

I think I’ve been hit by cupid

But no one needs to know right now

I met a tall, dark and handsome man

And I’ve been busy makin’ big plans

But no one needs to know right now

I got my heart set, my feet wet

But he don’t even know it yet

But no one needs to know right now

I’ll tell him someday some way somehow

But I’m gonna keep it a secret for now

“Is that song about anyone in particular, y/n?” Your friend Danielle asked.

Her question took you by surprise because you thought you were doing a good job of hiding the fact that you were crushing hard on your tattoo artist, so you just shook your head nonchalantly.

“Come on, you can tell us. We’re your best friends!” Said Jessie, excitedly.

Danielle pondered for a minute and then asked, “Well what if we guessed who it is? Would you tell us yes or no?”

What harm could come from them guessing? You were really sure that they had no idea you had a crush on Billy.

“Sure. If you guess, I’ll tell you yes or no.” You said.

Both of them were deep in thought before Danielle asked, “What about that dude from work? The one that always comes into your cube to talk.”

You closed your eyes briefly and shook your head.

Jessie had the next guess.

“Or the guy from the gym that always asks you to spot him?” She asked.

You replied with a slightly sinister smile. “Nope! Not him either.”

“Well, shit…who could it be?” Danielle asked in a frustrated tone.

You could almost see the lightbulb appear over Jessie’s head when a wide smiled stretched across her lips and her eyes lit up with excitement when she said, “I got it! Ya know how she is always ridiculously happy after she’s done at the tattoo shop?!”

Danielle’s eyes widened and started pointing.

“Oh my god, she has a crush on her tattoo artist!!” Exclaimed Danielle.

Jessie gasped then replied, “I think you might be right!”

The two of them held their breath as they waited for you to reply.

You didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore. “Yes, alright. I have a HUGE crush on Billy, ok. And I know you guys are gonna tell me he’s always out with different women but we’re friends, we always talk and laugh when I’m at the shop. It’s just easy with him and I just…I just really like him, ok?”

Your friends looked at you fondly like they knew you were really in love with him and no matter how badly they wanted to tease you about it, they just couldn’t bring themselves to do it. They just wanted you to be happy.

Danielle worked at a bar that Billy frequented and she then told you something that surprised you.

“Ya know since he’s been tattooing you, he hasn’t been to the bar…at all. Well, maybe a handful of times with Frank but he always leaves alone.” She said with a friendly smile, moving a stray hair away from your eyes.

I want bells to ring, a choir to sing

The white dress, the guests, the cake, the car, the whole darn thing

But no one needs to know right now

I’ll tell him someday some way somehow

But I’m gonna keep it a secret for now

We’ll have a little girl, a little boy

A little Benji we call Leroy

But no one needs to know right now

“He hasn’t? He’s been tattooing me for six years!” You asked with a hitch in your voice.

She shook her head slowly. “No…I even asked about the nights I’m not there. Maybe you should tell him how you feel. He could feel the same way you do, ya know.”

“I have another appointment in a few days.” You said nervously.

Jessie looked at Danielle then looked back at you and said, “I think it’s time to tell him. He really could be the one…and I’m just gonna throw this out there, you guys would have beautiful babies.”

The three of you laughed, hugged and enjoyed the rest of the night but it didn’t make you any less nervous about telling Billy how you really felt about him.

You really hoped he felt the same way.

**********

“And I did feel the same way.” Said Billy, as he kissed the top of your head.

As you kissed him on the cheek, the bristles of his beard gently tickled your lips and your mouth split into a smile. Billy had also been nervous about telling you how he felt about you because he was scared to fall in love, scared that if he finally let his guard down that you would leave and never come back…just like his mother had done.

Falling in love would just be another curse, leading to more pain and self-loathing because he thought he didn’t deserve love.

That’s why he never had long term relationships. If he never got attached, they’d never have a chance to leave and he wouldn’t consider himself weak. But you were different. You were everything he had ever wanted, someone who could make him laugh, someone he could open up to, and someone who accepted him for who he really was. Billy Russo was finally happy because of you, his little firecracker.

“We had beautiful babies too.” You said with a warm smile.

Billy captured your lips with his, your smiles chasing each other in between kisses, and he gazed at you with his endless brown eyes like he hadn’t seen you in a week. With that million-dollar smile and a wink, he pulled you flush against his chest and said, “Well, you know what we have to get now, right sweet girl?”

Confused, you pulled away slightly and asked, “What’s that, baby?”

“A little Benji we call Leroy.” Billy sang softly to you in your ear.

As a wide smile stretched across your lips, his long slender fingers reached for the hem of your shirt then brushed the soft skin of your stomach as he leaned in until his lips were on yours once again.

From the very first time Billy kissed you, it felt like his kisses were meant to be all for you, like the ones that came before you never existed and he’d be the first one to tell you that none of them mattered to him…at all.

Billy had wanted you all along and he wanted everyone to know…right now.

And I’m not lonely anymore at night

And he don’t know that only he can make it right

I’m not dreamin’ or stupid

But boy have I been hit by cupid

And no one needs to know right now

Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @fakehappy27 @snowkestrel @music-indie-tv @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @fictional-hooman @celestialend @nutmeg17 @k-marzolf @vaguekayla @rosaleenablack @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @aoi-targaryen @rachlovesactors @qu1etwolf

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @ittybxttykxttytxtty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @mrsbillyrusso

If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

[hischierdevils]

Kill My Time | J.H.

note: based on the song Kill My Time by 5sos

summary: jack always has to share you and he's getting tired of it

warning: slight angst, fluff

wc: 2.1K

Meet me downtown at the dive bar

You're the only one that makes me feel alive

I can't keep drowning in the shadows

You're the only one that matters

Saying that Jack was excited for you to move to New York full time was an understatement. Your families were close growing up and you were always hanging around Jack and his brothers. Every good non-hockey memory he had included you and he was excited to have you to himself for a while without Quinn and Luke interfering. 

During the first game of his that you attend alone, you sit by the ice wearing his jersey. He scores twice, pointing to you as he cellys. You’re excited for him and it reminds you of watching him play hockey when you were growing up. 

After the game, you join him and a few of his teammates at a bar in Hoboken. “Y/n!” Jack’s running up to you as soon as you step foot in the bar. He picks you up and spins you around, causing you to giggle. 

“Hey, Jacky. You played great tonight.” You tell him as he sets you back down on your feet. 

He grins at you. “I had my lucky charm watching me.” 

You roll your eyes and playfully push him away. “You’re so cheesy Hughes.” 

“There she is!” Dawson walks over to you and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. “It’s so good to see you, y/n.”

“It’s good to see you too, Dawson.” Is Jack seeing things or are you blushing at his friend as he lets go of you?

Jack and Dawson lead you to the bar where they buy your first drink. A few of his other teammates come over and Dawson beats Jack to the introductions. “This is y/n, she grew up with Jack. She’s practically his sister.” 

Jack tries to hide his annoyance as you look at him proudly. He’s protective of you of course, but none of his feelings are brotherly toward you. He’s never gotten a chance to tell you how he feels because he’s used to being overshadowed by his brothers. And now his best friend it seems. 

“So you’ve got all the dirt on Hughes?” John Marino asks you. 

You flash Jack a devilish grin and take a sip of your drink. “I’ve got a couple embarrassing stories for Jacky, yeah.” 

“Y/n, I've got just as many stories about you.” He reminds you with a wink. 

“She’s an angel, what are you talking about?” Dawson pulls you into his side and Jack forces himself to take a sip of his drink before he reaches for you. 

It seems like his teammates are all eager to get to know you as you spend most of the night talking to them, barely giving Jack any attention at all. He almost wishes he didn’t invite you so he wouldn’t have to share.

When Dawson asks Jack for his permission to take you on a date it puts him in a tough spot. He immediately wants to say no but he’s not prepared to answer the questions that will bring. He finds himself nodding and saying yes, hoping you’ll turn Dawson down. It hurts like hell when you agree.  

He's only got half of your heart

'Cause I've got the other part

Why don't you just say goodbye now?

It's only a matter of time now

“Dawson told me he asked for your permission.” You make eye contact with Jack in the mirror as you get ready at his apartment. You’ve been practically living with him on the weekends, staying in his guest bedroom.  

“He did.” Jack confirms as he turns his attention to the phone in his hand. He mindlessly scrolls through instagram, looking for a distraction. 

“I’m surprised you gave it to him.” Your voice is a lot closer now and he’s surprised to see you standing beside him as he looks up. 

The red dress you picked to wear tonight hugs your curves a little too closely and he has to clear his throat before he can speak. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

“I just thought-” You blush and look away from him. “Forget it. Can you help me put my necklace on?” 

Jack takes the delicate chain from you and stands up as you turn your back to him. He brushes the hair off of your neck which causes goosebumps to rise on your skin. “You thought what?” He clips your necklace onto your neck and brings his hands down your arms, resting them on your wrists. 

You relax into him, pressing your back into his chest. You close your eyes, enjoying the moment before you say what’s been on your mind and in your heart. “Jack, we-” 

A knock on the door causes the two of you to jump apart. “I’ll get it.” He grumbles before walking out of his spare bedroom. You check yourself out in the mirror, making sure your hair and makeup still look good before taking a deep breath. 

If anything was going to happen between you and Jack it would’ve happened already, right? You thought your crush on him would fade away as you got older but all time has done is make your feelings for him deeper. 

You haven’t told him how you feel, too afraid to ruin the friendship, and now you’re about to go on a date with his friend. You hear the two of them laugh in the living room and you know you can’t stall anymore. You remind yourself that Dawson’s a nice guy before walking out of the spare bedroom. 

Both boys stop talking and stare at you as you approach. “Wow.” Dawson glances over at Jack before turning his attention back to you. “You look amazing, y/n.” 

“Thank you.” You smile as you look down at your outfit. The red dress was probably too much but you were hoping that it would elicit something from Jack. “I hope I didn’t overdress.” You add once you notice Dawson’s jeans.

“Don’t worry, I'm flexible.” Dawson winks at you which seems to annoy Jack. “I can change the plans.” He puts an arm around you and begins to lead you to the door. 

“Should I stay up?” Jack attempts to make a joke but it falls flat. You turn to look at him, unsure of what to say. 

“I don’t keep a girl out late on the first date, Hughesy.” Dawson brushes him off. “See you later.” 

“Bye, Jack.” You give him a little wave before letting Dawson lead you out the door and down to his car. Once you’re both inside, you sit in awkward silence. 

“I’ve got to be honest…I didn’t think he’d let me get this far.” Dawson’s words cause you to look at him in surprise. 

“What do you mean?”

“I thought that if I asked him if I could take you on a date he’d realize he had feelings for you. When he said yes, I was hoping you’d turn me down and admit your feelings for him.” Dawson laughs. “I guess you two are perfect for each other because you’re both stubborn.”

“So you don’t actually want to date me?” Dawson’s words sink in slowly. “You think he has feelings for me?”

“I know he does, y/n.” He drums his fingers on the steering wheel of the still-parked car. “He doesn’t ever shut up about you. I’ve seen the way you look at him, too. One of you needs to admit your feelings.” 

“I can’t.” You say quickly. “I took the job in New York just to be close to him. I can’t ruin our friendship.”

Dawson sighs and starts the car. “Where do you want to go on our date then?”

Dancing in the dark 'til the sun comes

Tangled in the sheets 'til the day's done

I don't wanna kill my time with somebody else

In a city full of lonely people, I just want you all to myself

Jack wants to run after you the second you walk out the door with Dawson but he restrains himself. He knows you’ve gone on dates before, even met some of your serious boyfriends, but this feels different. It feels like the beginning of the end for him. 

He tries to keep himself busy. He attempts to play video games and then switches over to a hockey game when that doesn't work. He can’t help but wonder what the two of you are doing. 

Did Dawson take you to dinner? You’re a picky eater but Dawson doesn’t know that. He should probably order you food because you’re going to be hungry after only eating a salad. Would he take you to the movies? Or dancing? Did he take you somewhere where he could keep you close to him? Put his hands on your body…

He jumps to his feet, no longer content to sit here and wait for you. It’s been over two hours and he hasn’t heard from either of you. Oh god, what if you’re having a good time? Could he handle the two of you as a couple?

He paces the apartment, considering his options. If he tells you how he feels about you and you reject him, that could be the end of your friendship. If you feel the same way, then what? How would a relationship work when he’s traveling all the time?

Just as Jack has finished plotting Dawson’s murder, the door to his apartment opens. You walk in laughing, wearing Dawson’s jacket around your shoulders. Your cheeks are flushed and you're smiling at Dawson as he finishes whatever joke he’s telling you. Jack’s seeing red as he meets the two of you in the foyer.

“Where have you guys been?” He demands as he crosses his arms over his chest. 

Your smile fades as you look at Jack. “We were out.”

“Out?” Jack scoffs. “Four nearly three hours? What happened to not keeping her out late?” He turns his attention to Dawson. 

“Seriously dude?” Dawson tries and fails to keep a straight face. Jack frowns as you and Dawson share a look and start laughing. “If you didn’t want me to go out with her you should’ve said something!” 

“I didn’t…I don’t…”

Taking pity on Jack, you shrug out of Dawson’s coat and give it back to him. “We got dinner and went to an arcade.” 

“You went to an arcade wearing that?” Jack motions to your tight dress and heels. 

“I controlled the air hockey table for an hour thank you.” You inform him. 

“Because most of the guys were too distracted to watch your hands.” Dawson laughs. Jack clenches his jaw and Dawson takes that as his cue to leave. “I’ll see you guys later. It was fun hanging out with you, y/n.” 

“You too, Daws.” You walk him to the door as Jack stays rooted to his spot, trying hard to keep himself in check. “Thanks again for dinner.”

“No kiss goodbye?” Jack notices. “Are you going to see him again?” 

You walk up to Jack and stop right in front of him. “Do you want me to see him again?” 

Jack opens his mouth, ready to tell you that he doesn’t care but he knows he can’t watch you go on another date. “No. I don’t want you seeing anyone.” He places his hands on your hips before he can stop himself, pulling you into him. “I want you to be with me, y/n.” 

You smile as you wrap your arms around his neck. “You couldn’t have told me that three hours ago? My feet are killing me, Hughes.” 

He laughs and grabs your thighs, lifting you up so you can wrap your legs around him. “Is that a yes?”

“Kiss me and find out.” He doesn’t have to be told twice, leaning in to press his lips against yours. You kiss him back hungrily, tugging his hair so he opens his mouth slightly allowing you to slide your tongue in. 

He groans as he pulls away from you and carries you to his bedroom, setting you down gently on his bed. “Dawson planned this didn’t he?” Jack chuckles as he helps you take off your heels. 

“Yes.” You moan as he takes the painful shoes off your feet and he raises an eyebrow at you. “He did.”

“Baby, please don’t ever make those sounds when I’m talking about Dawson again.” He says seriously. 

You grip the collar of his shirt and pull him up to you. “Then stop talking about him because there’s a lot of sounds I can make.” 

He grins and kisses you again, slowly leaning you back on the bed. “I ordered food because I figured you’d be hungry.” He murmurs as you break apart.

“Oh my god, you’re the best.” You kiss his nose before sitting up. “All I had was a salad.”

[freddiemercurylegendabovelegends]

🔸The Girl In The Audience

by Patrick Lemieux

The band had agreed prior to this to allow the company Mobilevision to film them in concert. The resulting film would be toured by the company for paying audiences. Two special concerts were planned for November 24th and 25th for The Forum in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. 19 year old Sarah Bernard had no idea that attending the concerts would result in her being immortalized on film.

“I attended both nights for the Montreal shows, and was fortunate enough to be up front both nights,” says Sarah, “My sister Cathy and her friend Christian Giddings got three tickets for both nights and invited me to go, as they knew I was a fan, so I was lucky in that sense.”

Sarah goes on to explain, “I had been a Queen fan since the mid-1970s, when I received my first Queen album. It was Sheer Heart Attack, and it was given to me as a gift. I would often listen to certain songs and associate them with certain memories in my mind, and listening to Killer Queen always reminded me of the first time I played the album and broke in my record player at my best friend’s house. The album that I played the most in the ‘70s, however, was probably A Day at the Races. I had seen Queen two times before the Montreal shows.

At the Montreal shows, Sarah was able to make her way to a priceless spot perfect for taking pictures. "I’m sure there were reserved spots up front for professional photographers and media people outside of the film crew, but most people around me were simply fans,” she says.

Throughout the concert film, which is edited together from both nights, Sarah can be glimpsed center stage in the audience, occasionally taking pictures. Unfortunately, she no longer has the photos she took at the shows. Sarah says, “They were not the greatest quality, but I was proud of them.”

Of the band’s performance, Sarah says of Freddie, “I recall thinking that he made it very hard to NOT watch him. He was a wonderful performer, and I was reminded of how incredibly he commanded the stage. It had been a few years since I’d seen them last, and I’d forgotten what a force he really was up there. In the two shows I’d seen before, I was not as close to the stage, but I was still enchanted by how he worked the crowd. It really was like he held us all in the palm of his hand. Like we were being manipulated, and we loved it! A feeling I’ve felt with very few other acts. Brian and Roger were just as swift and amazing as I’d remembered from the previous shows. Watching Roger drum was almost hypnotic! John always seemed like the quiet and reserved type in photos and magazines, but live on stage, he always shined!”

Sarah goes on to recall, “Towards the end of the first show, I had spent some time trying to get their attention for a wave or a smile, and I made eye contact with John who nodded at me and returned my smile, which made my night even better! I also remember getting goosebumps during a few numbers both nights and even in the two previous shows I’d seen. Most notably during, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’!”

At the end of “Love Of My Life,” the cameras captured a truly moving moment in Sarah’s reaction as she stands still and glassy-eyed amid the erupting audience around her. She remembers what was going through her mind in that moment, “Every time I heard ‘Love of My Life’, I felt a bit emotional. I had fallen in love with a man who I truly saw a future with, and who used to play a few songs to serenade me while we were dating. ‘Love of My Life’ was one of those songs, and both nights I can remember feeling like I was on the verge of very happy tears just thinking about my love. He was on my mind and in my heart at the time I was being filmed.”

Sarah didn’t know she specifically had been filmed in her moment of quiet reflection, “We did see the cameras at the shows, but I never really noticed them facing me. I assumed they were filming the crowd as a mass of people.”

“Those were my last two shows with Freddie”

Full Interview 👇

https://www.queenonline.com/features/the-girl-in-the-audience-fan-feature-by-patrick-lemieux

➡️ Patrick Lemieux is a Canadian artist and writer. He is co-author (with Adam Unger) of The Queen Chronology book, available at Amazon -

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Cabaret rant. Go

I already answered this and then tumblr deleted what I wrote and I’m PISSED.

SO

They changed the theater a lot since the last time I was there (the last time I was there was for Mean Girls like 7 years ago). They've changed enough that they must be fairly confident this is going to be a long ass run of the show because it certainly cost them MONEY.

They have you enter through the side in an alleyway because the show is about the Kit Kat Club, an underground club in Berlin, 1940s. Before you even go in, they check your ID to see if you're over 21, and if you are, you get a little stamp on your wrist.

You have to walk through the alleyway to get into the theater after you pass security. At the end of the alleyway they ask for your phone, where they put a sticker over your camera. There are no phones allowed before, during or after the show. Wait until you get outside.

Once inside, they check your 21+ stamp. If you have one, they hand you a shot to take before you go down to the pre-show entertainment.

Pre-show entertainment is a cabaret-esque experience, with dancers and musicians who make their way through the crowd as you are drinking and mingling. They have custom cocktails for the Kit Kat Club, and that is all they serve besides wine and champagne.

When it is time for the show, you are ushered to your seats or tables. The stage is a circular platform in the middle of the room and it isn't very big. The actors and performers must walk through the audience to get on and off of stage, which results in many of the show-goers becoming the show, with talk backs, the cabaret girls/boys dancing at their table, etc.

Eddie Redmayne (yes THAT one) plays the Emcee right now and he is PHENOMENAL. Delightfully creepy in his role. He did break character once after a truly horrific joke that got more laughs than he expected. It was fun.

Gayle Rankin (yes THAT one) is playing Sally Bowles at the current moment. I had literal goosebumps after she sang Cabaret, the title song of the show. It was insane. She was insane. I was in awe.

The whole thing was very androgynous as well, and they didn't shy away from the sexual nature of cabaret that so often gets watered down when it's talked about. They are prostitutes, almost every single character in the show, and they talk about it. They show it. They don't, however, make it purely about fem-presenting prostitutes.

Men and women wore the same costumes throughout the entire show, no matter what that costume was. Shorts? yes. Dresses? yes. Suits? yes. They wore the same thing. Some fem-presenting performers wore subtle makeup, whereas some of the masc-presenting performers wore bright pink eyeshadows and glitter on their nipples.

There is a historical inherent inequality in how sex work is shown for women vs men in these kinds of shows - in this show, even, despite it always being a step ahead - and this rendition of it did not have that inequality. Everyone was equally celebrated and judged for it, and everyone showed the same amount of skin.

The thing about Cabaret is that it is interpreted differently by every single director that puts it on. No two renditions are alike, and that's the beauty of it. This particular rendition was a uniquely incredible study in performance art, and a wild commentary on the world's current political climate.

If you are unfamiliar with the show, Cabaret takes place in the beginning stages of Nazi Germany. Do with that what you will. Think of the crossover between that time and this one as you will.

(spoiler: most characters in this show are thinking "it's fine, nothing will happen, the election doesn't really matter, the nazis won't come into power")

I don't want to spoil everything in this interpretation, especially not the ending, in case anyone goes to see it or in case a recording or something comes out at some point, but I will say that one of the BIG lines in the ending is "if you are not wholeheartedly against this, you might as well be for it" and it was an incredible commentary on current times.

Another part of the show that gets changed from one rendition to another is the closing number, which is an almost word for word reprise of the opening. One of the lines is "even the orchestra is beautiful" and in the closing number, the orchestra begins to play out of tune after that line. It was insane. It was brilliant.

It was truly a one of a kind experience from start to end. There was no sense of it being part of a bigger show, even though logically we knew it was. From start to end it felt like you were truly a part of this Kit Kat Club, and it made the ending hit so much harder. During the intermission the actors came out and sat with people in the audience, spoke with them, drank with them, danced with them and brought them on stage. There was no "them" and "us." It seemed like we were just as much part of the spectacle as they were, even though that's obviously not the case.

It was brilliant. A show I'll simply never forget. It left everyone feeling exactly how you should feel at the end of Cabaret, with the Emcee's words haunting you

"Where are your troubles now, eh? Forgotten?"

Here are the only two pictures I really got from the night:

left: 21+ stamp and phone sticker; right: alley entrance right before phones must be put away

[vintageshanny]

I'm curious - if you were able to have Elvis sing a private concert for you, and you got to pick the setlist too, which 15 songs would you ask him to sing?

Oh my gosh, I love this question so much! I could probably spend weeks (months? years?) trying to decide on the perfect concert list, but I tried to just go with my gut. But honestly, to see and hear him utter even one note live would have been a complete dream come true.

Trying To Get To You – This is a must. This is a song that I think he must have really enjoyed singing because it popped up in his shows throughout his entire career, and I have yet to hear a live version of this where it sounds like he “phoned it in.” He gets deep into it every time. It’s also the song that made me fall in love with him. ❤️

If I Can Dream – I get goosebumps just from watching this on a screen; I can’t imagine the way it would have felt to be in the room while he sang this. The power and raw emotion in this vocal just blows me away.

One Night – Another one from early in his career that he kept coming back to. The way he can’t stop himself from dancing to this in TTWII is simultaneously adorable and sexy.

Swing Down Sweet Chariot – I picture him really excitedly getting into this the way he did in The Trouble With Girls. It’s so sweet the way he couldn’t contain his love for gospel music.

Such a Night – I think it would be so hot to hear him make those sexy noises and moans at the end. And since it’s a private concert, who knows what might happen…😉

Any Day Now – I don’t think he ever sang this one live, but it’s such a beautiful song about the bittersweetness of love. I would have loved to see what he could do with it on stage.

Lawdy Miss Clawdy – Oh, what I wouldn’t give to see him accompany himself on piano for this the way he did on closing night February 1970.

Heartbreak Hotel – I love the way he sort of made this into a slow bluesy number when performed it live. And the piano riff is perfection to me.

My Babe – I love blues music, and he makes this song so sexy when he performs it with his little ad libs. Phew…

Just Pretend – I mean, the riffs he threw into this song during his performances. Enough said.

Funny How Time Slips Away – His performance on this always sounds so effortless, and it’s another one where every live performance sounds amazing to me.

Tomorrow Never Comes/Make the World Go Away – I’m cheating and putting these together because I would love to hear this kind of powerhouse vocal performance live.

You’re the Reason I’m Living – As far as I know, he just sang this once, as kind of a dedication of love to his audience. It would have been amazing to witness that.

If You Talk in Your Sleep – This is such a funky song, and I love how he was just grooving up on stage when he performed it live.

Unchained Melody – There are really no words to describe how beautiful/special/meaningful it would be to hear this one. This exemplifies to me how he gave his all to his fans to the very end.

Honorable mention: I Can’t Stop Loving You - Something about his live versions of this and how passionate they are gives me a whole new appreciation for this song.

If anyone wants to reblog or comment with their own list, I’d love to read it! ❤️😘

[glen-reviews-gay-stuff]

Eat the Acid by Kesha

So I don’t do drugs, and I have no intention do so, but if I did do drugs, I think this song would break my brain.

I love Kesha, she is an icon, I lost it when she got on Fortnite because of the Lady Gaga update, and for some reason, her 2023 album Gag Order has become not my comfort album, but my late night existential crisis album, and if you’ve heard it, you’d get it. (this is a plug you should go listen to it here’s the link)

Gag Order is inspired by Kesha’s nearly decade long lawsuit with her former producer and abuser Dr. Luke. Since it was released while the lawsuit was still ongoing, this album is deeply rooted in metaphor, and delves deep into her mental state during the pandemic, specifically on songs like The Drama and Living In My Head, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

I first heard Eat the Acid about a year ago, when it was released as a single along with Fine Line, which is also an excellent song. I listened to both of them as soon as they were released, and though I do love Fine Line, and I probably like it more than Eat the Acid, there’s something almost sacred about Eat the Acid, and it’s weird, because it’s a song about how Kesha’s mother told her never to take acid because it will change your brain chemistry forever, and you will see things that you can never forget.

But Eat the Acid is a song that I think works maybe even better on a standalone basis, though the transition from this to Something to Believe In on the album is absolutely perfect. In the song she has an encounter with God, and basically compares having a spiritual awakening to taking that acid that her mother warned her not to. “You said that the universe is magic/just open up your eyes the signs are waiting” is a lyric from the bridge, and I think it’s one of my favorite lyrics ever. In the context of the song, this lyric is chilling, it gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. I cannot emphasize this enough, to truly experience this song, you need headphones, a dark room, and an existential crisis. There is nothing like it that I’ve ever heard, apparently along with the vintage psychedelia that it’s already pulling from, this song is also inspired by freak folk, which is apparently a subcategory of psychedelic folk that is also inspired by baroque pop.

Honestly, when I do have that existential crisis and sit down to listen to this song, it does kind of make me wonder what it would be like to eat that acid and what I would see while listening to this song.

[nijigasakilove]

Chills. Goosebumps all over my body. Sawano and A-1 you’ve done wonders on me.

This episode lived up to every bit of the hype. The spider boss fight was insane and the weight of every strike was conveyed thru A-1’s amazing direction. As you’d expect, it was a dog fight but Jingwoo pulled out in the end. Those debuffs and paralysis status effects came in so clutch. Stabbing the boss’ eyes was a brutal but effective method too.

What took things from good to peak though was Dongsuk’s dumbas getting the karma he deserved. Bro really had the nerve to come back after Jinho and Jinwoo survived like shit was gonna be sweet 😂 should’ve taken your rewards and left. Got exactly what was coming to him.

After seeing Jinwoo take on the spider I’m sure Jinho was probably more afraid of him than Dongsuk and his goons. Bro was shook when they asked him to kill Jinwoo.

Feel like something truly snapped within Jinwoo after that cheap shot from Dongsuk. Killing monsters is one thing, but other people is a totally different thing and he had to(and rightfully) cross that line today. Almost like a rebirth for him.

“You’ve tried to kill me 3 times and now you want mercy. You’re the one who said everything that happens in the dungeon stays there right” 😭 man that was hype. Took dude’s head right off

The final chains holding Jinwoo back are gone. Feel like even bro’s voice got deeper after that lmao.

I NEED the Sawano insert song played during Jinwoo’s awakening. Took that scene to the next level.. combined with A-1’s direction.. immaculate.

I’m moved. This series is special

[adoreinbloom]

thank you @sun-lt and @dahliaaz for tagging me in this!

here are my top albums of 2022!✨ (some of them were released in 2022, and some weren’t but i discovered them in 2022, so i hope that still counts!)

i tag @pop-punklouis, @sweetest-devotion , @itslottiehere, @dragmedown, @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs, @allmylouv and anyone else who wants to do it! (no obligations! ✨❣️)

harry’s house - harry styles

the album that was the soundtrack to my summer. from going from listening every single day to hearing my favourites from the album live in a few months felt incredible. I haven’t stopped listening since it’s been released. i’ve had it blaring from the speakers any chance i can get at home, and i always go to listen to it as soon as i open spotify. i didn’t know what to expect when we had as it was as the only single leading up to it, but it exceeded all my expectations! it felt like he had the most fun with this album, and he wanted us to have as much fun as he did with it and i can’t not be in a good mood when listening to every song. he amazes me every single time with his work, and i think it will always be constantly on my ‘on repeat’ spotify playlist.

faith in the future - louis tomlinson

the best album to close my year off with! i was really curious to see what the entire album would sound like considering he kept saying this was the music he always wanted to make, and i wanted to see what he has always been working towards. if this is the music he’s always wanted to make, then i am fully on board and will continue to fall in love with his work. it was a mix of songs that each told their own story, and made you relate moments of your own life to the memories he’s singing about. i can’t wait to see this live.

the car - arctic monkeys

i wasn’t a huge fan of arctic monkeys’ last release, so i wasn’t too excited about the car but i decided to pre order the vinyl anyway just to go out on a whim! i think it’s definitely one of my favourite AM albums, and i kind of wish i’d bought tickets for their next tour since listening to it a few times.

doomsday - lizzy mcalphine

my third most played artist on my spotify wrapped behind harry and louis. i fell in love with give me a minute during lockdown, so i was excited to see what else she was releasing! it did take me a while after the album was released to actually listen to it, but every song i love. i have it as my ‘wfh concentration album’ and it’s very mellow and just perfect. her voice is incredible, and i wish she was touring more local to me i’d love to see her!

stick season - noah katan

very late to the game with this one but i fell in love with it from the get go! i feel very calm and chill when i’m listening to this album, and like i just need to listen to it when i’m sitting on a bench somewhere and looking at the world pass me by. it makes you think a lot about your own memories when listening, and i had goosebumps listening to a few! it kind of reminds me a bit of mumford and sons, and i love them a lot.

take time - giveon

this is a 2020 album so i’m very very late to this one! i saw the performance he did of heartbreak anniversary at wireless festival this year and fell in love with it, so i immediately had to see what else he’d released. a lot of his songs have been good to listen to when i was writing (or trying to write) and the storytelling of his music kind of inspired a few stories of mine.

(i would have followed you) - delaney bailey

the best album to listen to when i just need to cry. the most angelic voice i’ve ever heard, and a bad album to listen to when it’s like 3am and you are overthinking everything that’s ever happened in your life. my heart broke 100 times over with every song and i loved every second of it.

emails i can’t send - sabrina carpenter

i haven’t listened to sabrina since 2018 when she released singular act one, so i was going into this with a four year break almost. i really really liked it! it feels like the kind of album you’d listen to when you were on a late night drive with your friends just blaring out the songs. that was the energy i got from it and you always ALWAYS need an album like that in your life.

the otherside - cam

for some reason, i’ve only listened to changes that harry wrote since 2020, but never the entire album that came along with it! i’m secretly a fan of country (not all country but a fair bit i like!) and this just felt like the right amount for me to enjoy! she reminds me a bit of old dolly parton (especially with the song diane) and i feel like my grandad would have really really loved her, and that is always a winner for me.

[maverick-jones-writer]

scrolling

by: Maverick Jones

A/N: since we’re all talking about the dead internet theory now, I thought I would share this WIP!! enjoy!! EDIT: i know the format isn’t right but i’m posting this early and i’ll fix it later :)

Your bedroom ceiling fan grates with every rotation. The sound pierces your skull, but the room is stuffy without it on. You flip the pillow, sighing as the cool fabric touches your skin. You will yourself to sleep.

…

You cannot sleep. Frowning, you rub your eyes before reaching over to grab your phone. You squint your eyes at the bright screen, blinking back tears as you turn the brightness down. The fan drones on while you tap on Instagram in the bottom left corner.

Your page opens to Kim Kardashian. She’s wearing a navy blue bikini - the kind that barely covers anything. She looks pasted onto the picture, standing in a pose that you would find from students in an Intro to Drawing class. Sculpted and carved. Skin airbrushed. Your skin crawls looking at her.

You scroll away, seeing next someone you knew from high school. She is also in a navy blue bikini, but not as revealing. You swipe through the three pictures of her laying out in different poses, each one hiding her stomach. The caption reads, “still young 🩷” You remember she had a baby boy a couple years ago. You like the picture, then scroll past.

“Are you tired of pickle juice getting on your fingers? Try-”

You jolt at the sound blaring out of your phone. Fumbling your fingers, you tap the mute button, throwing a futile glare at the screen. “Fuck you!” you mouth, holding up your middle finger. Your phone does not reply.

You rapidly scroll through the following posts:

Reel of James Charles using only eyeshadow for his makeup.

Your local YMCA’s poorly decorated gym (the picture is blurry).

Political ad.

A tumblr repost (you screenshot it).

Reel of a tumblr repost.

Tumblr repost (ad).

Your ex-friend’s wedding photos (you like the post).

BetterHelp ad with the quote, “Your mental health should take priority. Start your therapy journey for only $49.99 a month.”

Reel of a YouTuber you used to watch promoting their (recycled) content.

Ad for Max (HBO).

Reel of someone reading aloud tumblr reposts.

Another ex-friend’s vacation photos (you don’t like it).

A poorly drawn creature with the caption, “me when someone mentions Bistro Huddy”

Political ad.

You exit out of the app; your eyes glaze as you sink further into the pillow. You tap on TikTok in the bottom right corner.

A video of someone using the “How Rare is My Birthday?” filter is the first thing you see, so you immediately scroll past.

You watch a video of someone defending Chappell Roan for speaking out against fans harassing her. The comments say that it’s the price of being famous - get over it. You scroll.

A clip from Family Guy comes on. You watch the whole thing before scrolling, despite not caring for the show.

The haunting music of the song “Labour” sweeps your ears while clips from the show The Handmaiden’s Tale play. The edits line up to the flow of the music. Your eyes dilate, mesmerized by the shifting and swooping colors. Goosebumps form. You start to feel-

An ad interrupts the video. Your shoulders sag as you scroll by, knowing the ad signals the end of the video.

Piano begins to play softly in the background, with a sweet voice blending in. The video is a clip from the movie “All Dogs Go to Heaven”, and it has text on the screen that tells about the child actress who was killed by her father. Your eyebrows furrow, your face grim. You don’t like how monsters like him still roam this world. You like the video, then scroll away.

A cat video appears. You smile, like it, then scroll.

The song, “The Both Reached For the Gun” plays during another edit, this time focusing on two characters, both of whom are reaching for the same object. You frown, wondering if the creator of this edit knows the origins of the song and it’s true meaning. You begin to type out a comment, explaining the themes of the song, but you delete it and scroll past, deciding it does not matter.

You scroll by these next video intros:

“You see how I come to work? Very mindful, very demure-”

“I’m Pete Buttigieg, you might recognize me from-”

“If you’ve lived through the stress of having a lost pet, then you need-”

“The World Health Organization is warning about-”

“Guys! Is this what our marriage has come to? Oh my God! Jack just-”

“This is literally the best gift I ever-”

“This is what the election-”

“I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy, unless of course-”

“We’re having another baby! After five boys, we really wanted to try one more time for a girl-”

“I’m not racist, but-”

“I kept seeing these pants all over my FYP, and I-”

“This summer has been the hottest summer on record-”

“A 2023 international survey showed that 47% of people under the age of fifty do not want to have children. Why? What is stopping people from having children-?”

“You cannot believe how fucking happy I am that Wendy’s-”

“If you’re trying to conceive, you want a reliable-”

“Another bomb dropped in-”

“Me when the boys-”

“Okay, storytime about how I used to date a billionaire’son-”

“My hair completely changed when I started using-”

“This comment right here is so important, and most people don’t realize that when they die, which is why I bought-”

“If you’re walking daily and you’re not seeing results, it’s probably because-”

“Drought has struck-”

“A physical therapist told me to work on my posture, so I-”

“Introducing-”

You come across a video with the text “The Internet is Dead,” You begin to watch.

“I think it’s time we talked about late stage social media, and how the internet is dead. For those of you who don’t know, there’s an online conspiracy theory going around TikTok that’s referred to as ‘The Dead Internet Theory,’ which basically states how most of the internet now is made up of bots and AI generated content.

Now, I know you might be saying ‘Dave, this is impossible! We see posts with so much engagement all the time!’ And you’re right, there is a lot of engagement…on the surface. However, often times nowadays when you’re looking through comment sections, you see a lot of the same repetitive phrases, emojis, and rhetorics. Just because some of the bot comments are glaringly obvious, doesn’t mean that all of them are. If you look at the comments under other videos about this theory, you’ll see how the bots behave. Worse, you’ll also realize how used to it you are, but why is that the case?

Well, if we cast our minds back to the early 2010s, we can even see in those early years of Instagram stories of people buying likes, comments, followers; buying engagement. From a business standpoint - it makes sense, especially if you are trying to build your business from the internet. Data shows that posts with engagement typically garner more engagement. That is the original purpose of social media - to promote things that people like on a social standpoint. So, if you buy some engagement, you can wedge your foot into turning yourself into a business, where the product you sell is the lifestyle you live.

This brings us to late stage social media. This theory ties into elements of the dead internet theory by talking about how a lot of the content you see on your feed is inorganic. It’s all cookie-cutter, corporate, recycled bullshit; which counterattacks the original intent of social media: genuine human engagement where you could connect with others and meet new people of any sorts. It has now morphed into this venomous monster that feasts on our everyday lives. Anytime you go on social media, no matter what app you use, it is the same. You have the for you page, the explore page, the stories, the saved posts on your profile, pinned posts, it is all the same, including the content. Creators and businesses across all platforms reuse the same material, and it’s posted to all the major social media platforms. It’s gotten to the point where you don’t even need to have them all - you just need one app to see what everyone is posting. And what they are posting is bullshit. And there’s absolutely nothing anyone of us can do about.

Anyway, I’m really interested to hear your guys’ thoughts on this. Comment down below what you think about this! Do you believe in the dead internet theory? Or do you find that you still find organic content on your social? I could be wrong, you never know! Anyway, thank you guys for checking out this video, follow me on-”

Blinking, your jaw falls open. Disgust coils in your stomach while your skin crawls. The next video’s contents play through the speakers, but your not registering a word. Everything in your brain is scrambled, trying to justify what you’ve seen.

But how can you?

You turn off your phone, setting it down on the bed next to you. Eyes wide open, you grab the spare pillow behind you and hug it, your chest tight. When your head starts to pound, you press it into the pillow, shoving down the pit of horror in your stomach while you listen to the fan hum on, scraping the ceiling with each swing.