#i’m an extrovert because i need to be not because i want to be

[luuney]

being an extrovert is so pathetic because what do you mean you’d rather stay at the front of the shop than sit in the break room alone during your lunch break and that everything you do is actually to curb this perpetual underlying sense of loneliness and isolation from others (it’s me i’m pathetic)

[paarksunghoon]

FIXED COMFORT | SUNGHOON

SUMMARY: typically, sunghoon’s the one who takes care of you when you’ve had one too many. but once in a blue moon, he lets his guard down and allows you to care for him the way he does for you.

or, the one where sunghoon’s drunk at a bar and misses his girlfriend a little too much.

NOTES: idk I just feel like someone should let him sleep for six months straight!!!

PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 4.4K (4444 exactly—she’s a shortie).

WARNINGS: fluff on fluff on fluff.

***

“Hey, do you think you could come get Sunghoon from the bar? He’s been asking for you for the past hour.”  

Jay’s phone call pulls you out from a deep slumber on a Saturday night that falls on a day with no plans other than pure relaxation. Sunghoon had been preoccupied with work and classes this past week and wanted to unwind by drinking at his favorite bar with his closest friends and all you wanted to do was sleep the weekend away. 

Since the two of you started dating six months ago after being friends for a little over two years, you both agree on the notion that you’ve found a good balance between time spent together and apart respectively. Nothing fundamentally changed with the exception of kissing and touching one another in the way a couple would. He still respects your independence and you respect his time away from you as well. 

Sunghoon learned quickly that you’re the type of person who values your alone time more than anything else. When he first started developing feelings for you, grappling with your absence wasn’t easy. He initially thought you weren’t interested in getting to know him the way he was with you because you weren’t afraid to decline invitations and telling people ‘no.’ Slowly, over the course of many months of pining and late night conversations, did Sunghoon learn that you’re typically your best self after a moment of isolation. 

Your boyfriend is somewhere in between an introvert and extrovert. He tends to be shy when he meets people he isn’t familiar with while his loud, rambunctious attitude is typically reserved for those who know him best. He likes to keep to himself for the most part, giving some of his personality away when he feels his walls start to crumble naturally. You love that he has a good head on his shoulders and that he’s able to tell you about his feelings while maintaining an air of confidence. He doesn’t inherently need anybody; he likes your company and will do anything to keep it.

Moments like this are when your heart feels softer for Sunghoon than when the two of you were just friends.

“I know you wanted to spend the weekend alone but Hoon’s been saying your name all night,” Jay says. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“No, it’s fine.” You’re sure Jay can hear your brittle voice. “Are you guys at the bar near your place?”

“That’s the one. Thanks again and I’m really sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t sweat it. Cook me something next week if you still feel bad.” 

“I can do that. Chili oil noodles with shrimp sound good?”

“It’s almost like you know me.” He laughs at your sarcasm. 

“Drive safe.” 

When Jay hangs up, you allow yourself a few minutes to adjust and wake up, stretching your body from the warm comfort of your blankets. You change out of Sunghoon’s shirt to put on pajama pants and another one of his stolen shirts, opting not to take a jacket since you figure you won’t be out for very long. 

You thank your past self for filling up your gas tank before tonight after having put it off for a few days. Knowing Sunghoon, he would still scold you for allowing yourself to run nearly empty before filling it up even if he was inebriated. Somehow, knowing this about him brings a smile to your face.

Sunghoon’s the kind of guy who likes to have some control over certain things. He likes order and structure, often waking up at the same hour every weekday to build a routine his body can remember. He’s been like that since you first met him but you think it’s part of his charm. Even from two years ago, when you met him through Jake Sim, Sunghoon has maintained a level of confidence and control that he does now. On the heels of an impressive skating career before pivoting to focus on higher education, Sunghoon had his preferences and will stick by them. 

His discipline is the first thing you noticed when you met him for the first time. Jay, someone you were already familiar with, agreed to cook dinner with your friend group under the condition that everyone helped him shop and chip in for the meal. Sunghoon held Jake back from buying unnecessary things like boxed chocolate milk and candy because Jay had desserts back at his place. He held a checklist of items whereas the rest of your friends ran up and down the aisles without thinking much about what needed to be purchased.

Sunghoon’s near-meticulous behavior is juxtaposed to your chaotic and rambunctious nature. You often follow your gut instead of setting a solid plan because you’re not concerned with meeting deadlines, sans education. Whereas you tend to lean towards a go-with-the-flow attitude, Sunghoon is the opposite. But that’s something he loves about you.  

At a surface level distinction, it didn’t seem like the two of you would get along as well as you did. It surprised Jake when Sunghoon asked for your number so he could text you about seeing a comedy film with him as no one else in the group wanted to see it. Including you at an impromptu study session with him (Sunghoon was organized and neat while your pens were spread all over and your study methods, haphazard) felt like watching two people clash. 

Rather, you and Sunghoon complement one another. 

The idea of letting himself go with someone who wasn’t part of his friend collective was unheard of. Getting to know a girl who didn’t share similar lifestyles didn’t appeal to him before meeting you, and you’re inarguably the most chaotic person Sunghoon knows. But he finds that there’s order within your chaos—you know who you are and what you want, and you will not compromise yourself just to please other people. 

It’s what Sunghoon loves the most about you. There’s a boundary you never let anyone cross under the assumption that your own safety net feels compromised. He’s watched you lose friends for this same reason and has always admired the way you carry yourself like you know you deserve better than people who disrespect you. He’s witnessed the grace you maintain when people who call you a friend voice words of kindness but speak ill about you behind your back. If anything, Sunghoon feels pity for anyone who crosses you to the point of anger. To be envious of another’s confidence is one thing. To make that known is another. 

Sunghoon learns that you let your inhibitions go because holding control over yourself feels like a burden. It feels like setting a standard you will never be able to meet. He never thought of order in that way before getting to know you. Your approach to life sparked a new wave of emotions within him to the point where he was open and willing to let you farther into his life. 

His days were ruled by guidelines he had to maintain and proper etiquette that followed him even off the rink. The poise he carried from his career on the ice bled into his personal life too. Although, he doesn’t mind that it does. Sunghoon values any form of structure because it makes him feel like he has a purpose and that there’s something to be accomplished at the end of the day. 

Most times, Sunghoon’s feels like people judge him for his regimen and can’t fathom why he appreciates control so much. They tell him to let loose and enjoy his time away from his career. People always think he simply doesn’t know how to have fun because he’s set in his ways and won’t let other people coax him into doing something he’s not comfortable with. But not you. Sunghoon has never felt like you‘ve judged how he chooses to live his life. 

Before he knew it, a year had passed and he started to call you one of his best friends. The friendship was gradual. Sunghoon didn’t have many close female friends in the way he does with Heeseung, Jay, and Jake. You’re the first person since ending his career who hasn’t tried to pry into the why. In fact, Sunghoon enjoys that you didn’t bring it up. 

(You did, in the form of cooing over his younger self skating in competitions for the first time or roasting all of the outfits he had to wear. But somehow, all of your jabs made him feel happier than when people complimented his performance.)

Eventually, being around you felt too right. He loved it when you took naps on his bed and felt comfortable raiding your kitchen pantry without permission. Sunghoon could leave you in his apartment without him being in it and feel at ease. In fact, he started to look forward to coming home to you. All it took was seeing you wear his hoodie because you got too cold and forgot your jacket, to make him drop his bag by the front door and ask you to be his girlfriend. He hasn’t regretted anything with you since. 

The weather is cold outside since it’s approaching the middle of autumn. You let your car warm up and blast the heat all the way up while adjusting your defrosting settings before heading to the bar to pick up Sunghoon. You sift through your playlists and settle on soft indie melodies before you drive away from the curb. 

You’ve never seen Sunghoon get drunk to the point of needing extra help. Usually, you’re the one who goes a little too hard whenever Heeseung brings out the alcohol or if Jake offers an edible or two. Sunghoon likes to sit back and stay sober (or sober up by the end of the night) when he notices you having too much fun. He doesn’t mind, though. Sunghoon likes taking care of you because sometimes it gives him purpose. You’ve never understood that sentiment but to each their own. 

The only times you’ve seen him completely wasted are usually when you’re equally as gone, like on your first road trip as a couple. The five of you rented a lakehouse a few hours from Seoul and spent an entire weekend basking under the hot sun and chose to forget about university stress before finals would inevitably kick everyone’s ass. All five of you were cross-faded (but not without Jay and Sunghoon both prepping water bottles and snacks for when the munchies would hit prior to taking anything). You watched Sunghoon relax to the point where he was much quieter than he normally was and when you asked if he was doing alright, he looked you in the eye and told you he loved you for the first time. 

I always have, I think, he said as he brought your hand to his chest. You might not believe me because neither of us are sober but I swear I’ll tell you in the morning. 

Sunghoon gets affectionate when he’s drunk or high, often to the point of asking for reassurance. The rational side of his brain is temporarily disfigured. You don’t mind being there to tell him that he’s the love of your life and you’d never go anywhere when he gets like this. Although, you’re usually just as gone and gush all of your hidden emotionally-charged feelings, which pair well with Sunghoon’s need for validation sometimes. 

Your friends love your relationship. They don’t think it’s too much or too little, going so far as to take photos of the two of you when you aren’t looking. Some are funny like the pictures of you sleeping on his chest with drool pooling out of your mouth. Others are romantic and whimsical, like the pictures of Sunghoon looking at you like you’re the sunshine to his moonlight. They can’t get enough of you two. Your friends love knowing people they care about are deeply in love with one another and your relationship is somewhat of a reminder that true romance does exist. 

Thinking about this makes your heart swell as you park your car and tuck your keys inside your purse. The bouncer checks your ID and lets you inside the bar, and you already spot Jay off to the side. 

“Thanks for coming,” he says as he gives you a loose hug. “And sorry for waking you up.” 

You wave him off. “It’s fine. I’ve probably woken you up for worse.” 

“Yeah, like the time you and Jake wanted ramen at 3am and wouldn’t stop calling me because both of you got a little too high.” 

“Can you blame us?! You were like, two blocks away.” 

“Yeah, but did you need to eat with me?” 

“Duh. You’re like, the best person to eat a late night dinner with.” 

The two of you laugh as he leads you to the group. You see Sunghoon slumped over the table with his head in his arms and the rest of your friend group tries really hard not to seem too excited when they see you standing next to Jay. 

“Fucking finally.” Heeseung stands and gives you a quick side hug before Jake does the same. “Love you guys and all but he started to become unbearable when he kept showing us photos of you.”

Jake snorts. “Poor guy was almost about to cry.” That makes your heart soft. 

“He looks so cute,” you coo, tilting your head to savor this moment. It’s abnormal for you to be the sober one but you’re starting to understand why Sunghoon doesn’t mind taking care of you when you’re like this. 

Jay comes to stand next to you. “He’s not cute when he drank half his weight in alcohol and wouldn’t shut up about how pretty your hair is.” 

“What, do you don’t think my hair’s pretty?” The messy, unbrushed hair is enough to make the guys laugh. 

“Nah seriously, thanks for coming,” says Jake. “We felt bad calling you but he refuses to get out of his seat.” 

“It’s fine.” You wave him off and step closer to your boyfriend, who still hasn’t moved from his position. 

“Do your thing and we’ll be here if you need help bringing him to the car.” Heeseung smiles gratefully at you. 

Even the back of Sunghoon’s head is unfairly gorgeous. His hair always looks nice, although you credit that to his younger sister introducing him to a world of hair care products during his skating years. It feels soft to the touch as you stroke the back of his head until Sunghoon slowly comes to. You feel his body start to stir.

“Baby,” you say quietly, bending down until you’re next to him. “Wake up for me.” 

“Hm?” Sunghoon mumbles from his arms. He feels the sensation of your fingers carding through his hair and pulls himself from the table, wiping the spit from the corner of his mouth before realizing you’re standing next to him. “Y/N?”

“I’m right here.” 

He pulls his head up until he’s sitting upright in the booth, squinting up at you to adjust to the bar lights that disappeared when he closed his eyes. Your boyfriend looks so innocent like this. He looks at you with a wide, round gaze as if you’d appeared out of thin air and he’s trying his hardest to figure out how you’re standing in front of him. 

“Is it really you?” Sunghoon asks in a quiet voice. His tone makes your heart flutter and you reach your arms out until you’re cupping his jaw and rubbing the pads of your thumbs over his cheeks. Sunghoon melts into your touch and you feel his body start to relax. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, bug. Did you have fun tonight?”

He nods in your hands, “Mhm. Just tired now.”

“Jay said you were asking for me.” 

“I always ask for you.” Your cheeks heat up and you try to ignore the snickers from behind you. 

“Why don’t we go back to my place, yeah? You can sleep in my bed instead of this bar.” 

“Can we? I love the guys but I just missed you.”

“Simp,” Heeseung whispers before coughing into his fist. 

Sunghoon stands from the booth once you’ve taken a step back to give him the space to move. He’s surprisingly able to stand on his own and clutches onto his jacket as he makes his way to the door. 

“Sorry guys,” he mutters to the guys. 

“Yah, it’s fine,” Jay says as he waves Sunghoon off. 

“Get home safe,” Heeseung says as he opens the door for the two of you. Sunghoon waves behind him until you guide him to the car. 

“Can you put your jacket on for me?” You catch it in your hands after he nearly let them fall from his grasp. 

“Shit, sorry.” You watch Sunghoon put on one arm and then the other. He looks so childlike in this moment as he concentrates his hardest to put the jacket on without stumbling. 

It reminds you that he doesn’t show you this side of him often. Sunghoon, ever the poised individual who likes to know what’s ahead of him, has let his inhibitions down. Seeing his figure slowly push his body through the warm fabric has you biting back a smile. 

“Need help?”

Sunghoon looks down at his hands that are trying to zip his jacket up to no avail. He feels like his hands are too big and the zipper is too small. “Please.”

Your steady fingers cover Sunghoon’s and take over the tedious task. The metal is warm from his fingertips. You can feel him looking down at you and you temporarily fumble with the zipper, which makes him laugh.

“Silly,” he mutters. “Ah, fuck. I don’t know if I can open the door.”

You roll your eyes and open it for him. “You’re funny.” 

He slides into the seat as gracefully as he can without hitting his head on the roof. Sunghoon struggles, but manages to buckle himself in and grins up at you when he hears the click of the buckle. When you look down on him, the lamp post from above casts a soft glow on his face. He looks so youthful at this moment. Sunghoon has let go of his thoughts and couldn’t think about anything but the present moment even if he tried. 

He waits for you and mumbles about how cold it is when you turn the engine on. The warm air starts to uplift his spirits and he looks at you with us head pressed to the headrest.

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”

“What?” you ask. “Why?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. Usually I’m the one taking care of you.”

“You don’t always have to be brave, you know.” 

Sunghoon doesn’t say anything. He reaches out to envelope your hand in his and squeezes it until he’s holding it loosely in the quiet of the evening.

“I love you.” 

Your heart blooms. “I love you right back.” He seems satisfied with your response and lets go of your hand so that you can drive back to your apartment. 

When you park on the curb, Sunghoon’s sober enough to unbuckle his seatbelt and wait for you to turn the engine off before opening his door carefully. He steps outside and leans back on the car door until you walk around the hood of the vehicle and grabs your hands to pull you into him. 

You feel his lips on your before you register what’s happening. He tastes faintly of pineapple soju and beer, and his mouth is warm. Despite his inebriated state, Sunghoon’s able to hold you between his hands as he moves to place them on your hips to balance your body after you’ve stumbled into him. 

The kiss itself is slow. In fact, it feels as though Sunghoon has slowed time around so that the two of you could enjoy the late night kiss uninterrupted. You can barely hear anything besides the ringing in your ears after being caught by surprise due to your boyfriend’s abrupt movements. Your mouths move in slow tandem and Sunghoon nearly pushes his tongue inside your mouth before pulling away to rest his forehead against your own.

“My baby,” he whispers against your lips before giving you another quick peck. 

“You are so cute.” You blurt out this confession like you’re still pining after him. “Let’s go inside, yeah?” 

The apartment is warm compared to the environment outside and Sunghoon slips off his shoes in favor of wearing his designated slippers. He doesn’t let go of your hand the entire time he does so, letting you pull him into the hallway until the two of you reach your bedroom. The hardwood floors feel better than the uneven pavement from outside.

He loves it here. It’s a sanctuary away from his apartment with the friends he will probably invite to his wedding. But something about your green comforter and hand-painted artwork adorning your walls makes Sunghoon feel like he would live by your side for the rest of his life. The scent of your room–warm peaches and vanilla–tugs at his heart strings. This is where he belongs. 

Likewise, you love seeing Sunghoon behave like this. It’s not commonplace for him to let people take care of him in the way you are now. He’s used to people looking out for his career and best interest but he struggles with allowing others to handle him with such care. After a decade of enduring harsh criticism and physical endurance, Sunghoon struggles to relax and allow others to take the reins. It’s partially why he loves taking care of you. Being able to provide that kind of love and support makes him feel wanted and needed, even if you tell him he’s more than enough a thousand times over. 

You leave him in your room to change his clothes taken from his designated drawer while you prepare skincare and the works. You hear him shuffle outside and fall onto the bed once, prompting you to hold your laughter in as you wash your hands and pull out hair clips for him to use. 

“I can’t lie,” Sunghoon says as you emerge from the bathroom to see him in a big t-shirt and pajama bottoms, “I’m really looking forward to you doing my skincare.” 

You snicker and pull your desk chair into the bathroom. “Now you know exactly how I feel every time I beg you to do mine when I’m drunk. Sit and close your eyes, please.” 

He follows your instructions and leans his back against the furniture. Sunghoon doesn’t fuss when you pin his hair back until it’s secure and allows you to make him feel pampered in a way he typically wouldn’t. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” 

Sunghoon hums. “Yeah, I did. The guys picked me up from my place and we had lunch at that seafood spot we’ve been meaning to try.” 

“Was it any good?”

“So good.” He licks his lips. “God, I’m still thinking about that shellfish soup. We ordered enough food to feed a village but it was so worth it. I wanna go with you.” 

“We can go wherever you want.” He smiles at your soft tone. 

“We also went to the beach and met some guys at the skate park by the highway. They were pretty nice and let us use their boards for a little. Heeseung got along with them the best, I think.”

“Heeseung makes friends with everybody.”

“He says he’s not social but that’s a lie.” Sunghoon twitches his nose when he feels a damp washcloth on his face. “We went to the bar afterwards and split it by round. I got the first and honestly, I don’t remember much after that.” 

“How are you feeling now, though?” you ask as you finish patting his skin dry. “Do you still feel dizzy?” Sunghoon opens his eyes and watches you apply a serum before dabbing it all over his face. 

“Not as much as before. I think I’m just tired.”

“And clingy, apparently.” 

Sunghoon smacks the back of your thighs. “Shut up. You love it.” You silence him by kissing his nose. 

While he brushes his teeth, you situate yourself underneath your plush covers and allow the weight of the blanket to fall on top of you. The sweet promise of a good night’s rest feels imminent, especially when you see your boyfriend emerge from the bathroom. He turns off the light and walks towards the empty side of the bed before he’s slipping himself beside you. 

Sunghoon’s an equal opportunist when it comes to sleeping positions. He loves it the most when your head is on his chest and when your arms are tangled in one another because he likes knowing that the two of you yearn for each other equally. But when he gets like this, Sunghoon takes initiative to maneuver himself until half of his chest and head are on top of you. He situates his arm around your waist and pulls himself closer to your body until a deep, satisfied sigh comes from the back of his throat. 

He hums in appreciation when your fingers begin to massage his scalp. Sunghoon’s hair is soft and silky and on most days, you’re the only person who gets to touch it. The slowness of your movements paired with the soft kiss you place on his temple makes his eyelids feel heavy. 

“Sorry you had to come pick me up,” Sunghoon mumbles against you. “I know we agreed to give each other some space this weekend.” 

“You should know by now that I’d do anything for you.” He feels you kiss the crown of his head. “Plus, we both know you’d do the same for me.” 

Sunghoon nods. “I would. You’re my girlfriend. Duh.” His sleepy nonsense makes you laugh. 

“You can go back to hanging out with the guys tomorrow if you want.” He shakes his head. 

“I want to get breakfast with you.” Sunghoon finds your free hand and presses a sleepy kiss to the back of it. 

“Whatever you want. We can get breakfast.” 

“If we wake up early enough.” 

You laugh again. “Yes, if we wake up early enough.” 

Sunghoon mumbles a few incoherent words that you can’t quite make out because of your own tiredness. When your own eyes start to droop, Sunghoon feels your fingers start to falter and looks up at you to see you’ve fallen fast asleep. 

He kisses the underside of your chin and falls asleep too.

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! x

[luveline]

I need more Hotch x teacher PLEASE, I’ll take anything 😭🙏🏻

Mr. Hotchner —call me Aaron, he always says, because he’s a bully— walks across the school grounds with his son stuck to him. 

According to your colleagues, Jack used to be more outgoing. Not extroverted, but friendly, with many friends and lots to say. But after the passing of his mother a few years ago he’s become a quieter child. It’s not uncommon to see him glued to his father or his Aunt Jess before school. 

You tuck your hands in your cardigan against the early summer morning chill. “Hello,” you greet as the Hotchners approach. “Good morning.” 

“Good morning,” Aaron says. His smile is a rare and lucrative sight; whenever he smiles at you like this, as though you’re some wonder he’s happened upon accidentally, it betters your whole day. 

“Good morning, Jack,” you say, a gentle prompt to see what mood he’s in. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi, buddy. You got your reading diary filled out?” you ask. 

“Yeah. Me and dad read Marlo again, I hope that’s okay.” 

You bend just a bit to be smaller, “You can read anything you want to.” 

“Dad says so too.” 

You and Aaron share a look. “Dad’s always right, huh?”

Jack nods emphatically. Aaron edges a half step closer to you, looking as though his hand is itching where he’s tucked it in his coat pocket. There’s something in it, you realise. He pulls it out and offers it to you covertly. 

“You left this behind,” he says. 

It’s one of your bracelets. You open your palm and let him tip the bracelet into your hand, curling your fingers closed, but not before the brush of his thumb has made you miss it against your cheek. 

“Oh, wow, I assumed I lost it.”

“No… it must have fallen down between my bed and the nightstand.”

You glance around, not as covert as you wish you were. It’s not that you and Aaron can’t date, but you perhaps shouldn’t, and besides that things are so new between you that it isn’t anyone else’s business either way. Plus, you have Jack to think about. He doesn’t know you’re seeing his father yet. 

You smile gratefully and tuck the bracelet into your pocket. “Thank you.” 

“Jack!” a blonde little girl called Sadie races up to you all and smiles wide. “Do you want to come and play with me? I want to try cartwheels before we go in.” 

Jack looks up at Aaron, who nods and leans down. He kisses his unwrinkled forehead. “I should be going soon. Be good today, okay?” 

Jack says his love yous as he jogs away with Sadie, his lunchbox forgotten in Aaron’s hands. “Want me to take it?” you ask. 

“Oh, yes. Please, honey, if you don’t mind.” 

Again, his hand brushes yours as he hands it over, his skin a reminder that he’s touched you now, and kindly, gentle fingertips trailing down your back as you dozed with your face against his chest. He’s so… perfect, in a way, such a caring person, you’ve never felt like this about someone. His proximity makes you wish you could go home with him now or follow him to work. It’s an achy feeling without being sore. 

“I never mind.” You watch him carefully as you talk, “It’s nice to get to see you every morning.” 

“It would be even nicer if we could’ve had the whole morning together,” he says agreeably, fondly. “Did you check your calendar for me? How are things looking next weekend?” 

“Very open for nice men who bring me jewellery.” 

“Don’t start,” he says quietly, his hand twitching toward yours, “or I’ll blow our cover.” 

“I wish you could.” 

“Me too, honey. I’m going to talk with Jack about it again this weekend.” He beams. “I wonder if he’ll change his tune this time.” 

When Aaron brought up the idea of you and him together to Jack, it had been as a simple hypothetical: How would you feel if me and Miss L/N wanted to be friends, Jack? 

He was ecstatic. Then we can see her all the time! he’d said. Aaron’s next port of call is to introduce the g-word. 

You and Aaron meet eyes, looking at one another, his hand creeping closer and closer to your side. He takes the end of your cardigan into his hand and feels it between his fingers, the slight touch, slightest movement of the fabric against your shoulder sending a shudder down your arms and chest. 

“Can I see you tonight?” he asks. 

“You aren’t busy?” you ask, surprised.

“Of course I am, I always am. But I think I have to see you.” 

Oh, you have to, you could tease. But you really need to see him too. “Just text me when you want me and I’ll be there,” you say, looking away from him toward the children and their racing. 

You’re glad you aren’t looking at him when he next speaks. “I always want you, but I have to go. Have a good day, honey, alright?”  

Jack’s lunchbox creaks in your hand. A funny soft kiss would be nice here, his smile pressed to yours. Maybe one day you’ll get one out in the open. “Thank you. Have a good day, too, Aaron,” you say, only looking up at him when you’re sure he’s crossed the school grounds to the parking lot. 

He looks back over his shoulder to you twice. 

[finelinevogue]

my universe

summary - university can be tough and lonely sometimes, but luckily for you your boyfriend lives nearby

pairing - spencer reid x shy-university!reader

word count - 900

[this is just a little taster... should i continue this? if so feel free to send any ideas/prompts for this pairing you would like to see]

University wasn’t all it was cut out to be.

It was different to what you had been expecting.

You had expected constant house parties. You had expected 9-5 studying and 5-9 partying. You had expected to finally come out of your shell and live life like every extroverted person did. 

But that wasn’t the case.

Instead, university was lonely, isolating and really tough. 

The work was okay but the social life was really hard. 

You remember the first conversation you heard between your roommates like it was yesterday.

“Should we invite them?” 

“We don’t even know their name, so what’s the point?” 

“Yeah you’re right. Going out doesn’t seem like their vibe anyways.”

“So are we going or what?”

You hadn’t even put faces to names before your flatmates had ruled you out as one of them. You had managed to become friendless without even trying. Sometimes a flatmate would come to you if they had a problem with the wifi or they wanted to know whether they could use your milk in the fridge, but other than that you were left alone.

Like tonight.

You were trying your best to study for an upcoming test in a few weeks, seeing as you had nothing else to do, but your flatmates were pre-drinking and it was so loud.

The music was thumping away in the kitchen and they must have invited more people over as there were lots of voices. Too many voices for comfort. 

Your room was small but it was yours.

It was cosy with fairy lights strung up on your walls and crossing the ceilings. There was a huge pinboard of memorabilia that you had brought from home. Some were photos of you and your mum. Some were photos you had taken of your few friends back home. Most were of your boyfriend, Spencer.

In fact a lot of the other tat on your board was shared property between you and Spencer. There were cinema tickets from dates and tiny handmade cards from him to you. 

It was your safety wall, because every time you looked at it you reminded yourself that you weren’t completely alone. 

<.><.><.>

Your phone rang 15 minutes later.

“Hey, you.” You smiled, putting your pen down in a hurry to speak to your boyfriend.

“Hey you, back.”

It was always so good to hear his voice. No matter how far or near he was, his voice was the one comfort in the world that you would crawl home to. 

“You okay? I thought your text said you were going out for drinks with the team?” 

“Plans fell through.” He didn’t sound too bothered.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” 

“Don’t know, really.” You shrugged even though he couldn’t see. “So where are you now?”

“Funny story…” 

“Okay?”

“I’m like five minutes away from you.” 

You sat up straight in your chair. 

Your attention turned from Spencer to the raving music from the kitchen. It was loud and thumping and it was a wonder that Spencer hadn’t commented on it yet. 

It had taken a while for you to come clean to Spencer about how rubbish your flatmates were, but luckily for you Spencer was the best boyfriend in the world and he only lived half an hour away. Whenever he could he would always come and spend time with you.

There was even that one occasion that he stayed in the library all night with you to practice for a test. No one was better than him.

“Is that okay?” Spencer asked, having noted your silence.

“You’ve saved my night.”

“Well they don’t call me a ‘hero’ for nothing.”

You laughed, “Nice try. I’m not feeding your ego any more than that.” You heard him laugh too.

“Shall I come up or do you want to go somewhere?” Spencer asked.

“Depends.”

“On…?”

“Whether Alicia is going to flirt with you again. I do not need my evil flatmate accidentally tricking you into falling in love with her. It’s probably her master plan.”

Alicia had taken it upon herself to try and smooth talk Spencer when he had first visited. Apparently she couldn’t believe that ‘someone like him’ was dating ‘someone like you.’ That had been a real kick in the teeth. Spencer had pretended to be oblivious and shut your bedroom door in her face though, so that had been a small victory.

Since then you had teased Spencer about the interaction. He had obviously talked about how teasing was your way of deflecting talking about your jealousy, but whatever.

“Alicia is going to be your villain origin story. I can feel it.”

“You’re damn right.”

“I know.”

“Right. You need to tone that ego down before I see you.” You joked, causing him to laugh back.

“Okay but seriously, do you want me to come up? I look like a serial killer waiting to pounce down here.”

You stood up from your chair and moved over to the window. It only opened a smidge, but it was enough to see Spencer standing four floors below. You gave him a big smile and a small wave, which he returned.

“You kind of do look like a serial killer. Why are you dressed all in black?” You asked whilst still looking at him from the window.

“Y/N!” He whisper-shouted your name. 

“Okay I’m coming.” You shut your window and picked up your flat keys, “Just don’t murder anyone whilst I come and get you.” 

“I swear to…”

Before he could finish you hung up on him.

[f1amour]

「 ✦ F1 GRID BLURBS — NIGHTMARES

drivers included | oscar piastri, lando norris, charles leclerc, carlos sainz, max verstappen, lewis hamilton

description | based off this request

content warnings + authors note | mentions of a car crash, pregnancy, and anxiety, comfort. sorry for any spelling mistakes <3

navigation. | requests — open | main masterlist.

─────────────────────────

OSCAR PIASTRI ⁸¹

★ you’d been with oscar for three years and throughout your relationship it was common to spend long weeks away from each other. oscar had a demanding career and you were still studying at your university still one year to go. you had been able to attend your classes online for the first two years of your relationship but as you reached towards the end of your studies you had to be present on campus. it’s summer break which means you get oscar all to yourself for a few weeks. you spend that time in australia for a week then you head back home to monaco. it had been a long day at the beach and oscar had to attend a virtual meeting with his team, “i’ll join you later, honey. it might run a little late though because of their time difference but i’ll cuddle you after. i love you,” oscar gives you a quick kiss before he heads out to the living room so you can go to bed.

★ 45 minutes pass you keep tossing and turning, you grab the bottle of melatonin gummies in your nightstand taking two. an hour later oscar is getting into bed with you exhausted from the meeting. you start moving against his arms that were wrapped around you, he assumes you are just trying to get comfortable but then you start breathing and panting heavily. you start thrashing around and oscar shakes you awake, “baby, hey hey yn wake up it’s okay,” his soothing voice fills your ears and you sit up with wide eyes, “i…god i’m so sorry, osc,” your voice shakes as he kisses your head.

★ “you don’t have to apologize but i’m a little worried, you never get nightmares? what’s changed?” he asks, you lie your head on his chest and you debate on telling him why exactly these nightmares have been reoccurring, “i…i started taking melatonin. it helps me sleep but it also gives me nightmares sometimes but it’s fine! i wake up but then i drift off to sleep sooner or later. i’m okay.” you give him a smile that does not convince him that you are okay. melatonin? trouble sleeping? since when? “we’ve been together three years, yn. since when do you need something to help you sleep?” oscar questions, his oblivious question just makes you feel more embarrassed to confess why you have to take something to sleep. “i can’t sleep without you. it’s been hard lately not being in your arms every night, i’m sorry.” your eyes well up with tears and he he pulled you into a hug.

★ “oh baby, you should not apologize for that. i’m so sorry you’ve been feeling that way. i know we got so used to each other and having to change our routine is difficult. we can make this work though, okay? i don’t want you taking these anymore,” he points to the bottle you had on the nightstand, “we’ll work on facetiming more when have time and when you get a weekend off i’ll fly you out to me. even if it’s a few days i know it’ll help soothe us both.” his encouraging words and effort to fix how you’ve been feeling is more than enough to have you firdtinf back to sleep. “thank you, oscar. i love you,” you whisper quietly as your eyes close and soon you’re asleep on oscar’s chest while he pulls you in closer, “i love you more, honey.” he whispers back before drifting off to sleep with you.

LANDO NORRIS ⁴

★ lando was the extrovert in the relationship while you were the introvert; you both liked it that way and loved each other for it. lando loved yapping to you while you cooked dinner or watching a tv show. he also loved physical touch so any chance he got his hands would be on your whether around your waist, holding your hand, kissing you as many times as he can, sitting you on his lap, he loved being around you. you got so used to him and his affections especially traveling with him every race week that your favorite routine was going to bed together. you’d gotten him into your skincare routine so more every night you’d both unwind with small talk while washing your faces and applying moisturizer. you’d then go to bed and fall asleep to lando’s yapping about whatever gossip he heard around the paddock.

★ recently though he’s been going out more after a race whether it’s to celebrate his win or oscar’s or carlos’. you loved celebrating his accomplishments but the constant need to be at a nightclub almost every week was exhausting for you. you struggled to fall asleep the nights he was out partying late and you’d wake up from a nightmare a lot every time but you refused to tell lando. you didn’t want to seem like a clingy girlfriend so you just kept it all to yourself.

★“i got here safe and sound, mate. locked the door and now going to bed with m’lady. yeah yeah fuck off,” lando hangs up from his call with carlos who wanted to make sure he got to the hotel room safely. he had gone out to celebrate carlos’ win in mexico and him getting p2 and he was a bit bummed you couldn’t join them after dinner with the sainz family but you were simply exhausted. “baby?” lando walks into the room seeing you in deep sleep clinging to his pillow and he smiles at the sight in front of him. he was hoping to do his skincare routine with you which hadn’t been done in a few weeks but you were done for the night.

★ he changed into some pajamas and did his skincare before walking back into the room to join you in bed only to find you moving around with an uncomfortable look on your face as your whisper “stop, no, please…stop,” your voice gets louder until you are shaken awake and meet lando’s worried eyes. “baby, it’s a nightmare you’re okay i’m here,” he pulls you into his lap holding you close as you catch your breath. “but you’re barley here nowadays.” you tell him almost low enough thinking he won’t hear you but his expression shows opposite.

★ “what…what do you mean? we’re together all the time?” you sigh leaning against his shoulder, “yeah when we go to free practice, quali or the race but you aren’t here when i need you most. i go to sleep alone nowadays because my boyfriend wants to go out clubbing every weekend,” and there it was. lando had been hearing this from oscar telling him you talked to lily about feeling distant from him, he never thought it was true until now. “i get you want to celebrate your victories and your friends but i’m alone here, lan. i gave up a routine i had at home to be with you and i won’t ever regret that but the small routine we started to have that gave me some peace you’re abandoned. now i go to sleep alone and sometimes even wake up alone. i do our skincare routine all by myself. i’m so scared i’m losing you that i’ve had nightmares nonstop.” the words come out before you can think but you’re glad you have ben able to finally admit what you’ve been feeling for awhile now.

★ lando processes the information you just shared with him and he feels a pit in his stomach, he feels guilty and terrible that you’ve had these thoughts for awhile now. “i miss hearing your voice. i miss hearing you talk about whatever nonsense you heard from the paddock while we do our skincare or when i cook us food. i really miss you but i don’t know if you miss me.” you avoid his eyes when you tell him the last sentence afraid he might just walk away but instead he lifts your chin up so you meet his eyes. “i am so sorry you’ve been feeling that way baby. i always miss you. i love you. i’ve been an idiot to not notice what you’ve going through. getting nightmares because of me? i never want you to experience that again. i guess the excitement of having a chance at the constructors and possibly drivers championship clouded any other thought. i celebrate every week as we get close to the end but i left behind my number one support in that process. i’m gonna do better, if you let me?”

★ his reassurance that he’ll do better and he knows where he went wrong makes you smile becuase that’s all you’ve ever wanted, “i’ll join you on some nights you wanna celebrate, but promise when it’s too much we’ll stay home?” you lean your forehead against his and his smile lights up at your question, “you know it, baby. besides we can celebrate in our hotel rooms all the time we do our skincare and make some sweet sweet love in be—.”

“lando!”

CHARLES LECLERC ¹⁶

★ being engaged to a formula one driver was quite demanding as everyone wanted the inside scoop in your life; especially the paparazzi. you didn’t mind charles’ fans you loved them and the love they had for your relationship with their favorite driver but it was the media the invasive people who wanted a front page. they got so obsessive that one night they followed you and charles home after having dinner with his family at a local restaurant.

★ three cars speeding and trying catch up to you just to capture any images they could and while charles was experienced enough to drive at an incredibly fast rate he didn’t see the truck backing out of a driveway and you both ended up in the hospital. you both suffered a few injuries but it’s the crash that left you traumatized more than ever. you couldn’t go into a car for a few weeks without panicking but it slowly went down. however, your thoughts of the crash never left when charles had a race. you woke up in a panic almost every night either of the car accident or even worse, charles being in an accident while racing.

★ you didn’t tell charles about the nightmares becuase he already had enough on his plate you didn’t want to add some silly scary dreams you had to it. that was until he was on the racing simulator while you slept in the next room, leo walked out do the room barking at charles. “mon dieu leo, je vais me coucher dans un moment, je vais coucher avec ta mère (my god leo i will go to bed in a bit go lay with your mom)” charles shoos leo way but the pup prances to his owner and bites his ankle causing charles to yell, “leo no!” but the pup ignores him and continues biting and yanking at his ankle.

★ leo barks louder and charles senses the urgency of he stands and lets the dog guide him towards the bedroom and when they entereo runs up to the bed and charles immediately notices your hyperventilating and crying with your eyes closed. “chérie. wake up come on it’s okay breathe, it’s okay.” he repeated as you wake up immediately and cling to charles. you take deep breathes before looking at charles who was busy wiping your tears away, “amour, what happened?”

★ you sigh and tell him the reason for the nightmares and there’s a small silence before he breaks it, “i get them too sometimes. but mostly on the track i…i just think of what would’ve happened that day if i lost you,” he tells you while you let leo who was seated on your lap. “maybe…maybe we should go to therapy? talk to someone about it so we can help each other?” you ask him and with a smile he kisses you softly, “that sounds like a good idea. i think this little deserve a treat before bed for taking care of his mom.”

CARLOS SAINZ ⁵⁵

★ you loved exploring new places with carlos when you both were free from your usual busy schedules. however, you absolutely HATED the ocean you didn’t mind staring at it from afar of course it was a beautiful view but being in the middle of the ocean? yeah, not your favorite thing ever. it didn’t help that you were also seasick but carlos spent so much time planning this trip out with you and his family you couldn’t say no.

★ “i’m surprised yn went to bed so early. she loves being in the middle of this,” carlos’ mom tells him as they sit around the dining table where carlos and his father started bantering which you enjoyed watching especially because it was like twins arguing with each other. carlos and his father were identical only difference one was younger and the other was older. carlos sighs and stands up, “i’m just gonna make sure she’s okay. i’ll be back in a few minutes,” he says but his dad laughs, “buenas noches, hijo.” knowing his son enough he says goodnight, one thing about carlos he was attached to your hip every moment of the day. he was going to join you in bed even if he wasn’t sleepy, all to be close to you.

★ expecting you find you in full sleep he was let with an uncomfortable look on your face and heavy breathing, he can sense your panic so he gently wakes you up from whatever you were dreaming of. “amor…despiertate, está bien, estás bien.(love…wake up, it’s okay. you’re okay.)” his gentle voice fills your eyes and you clutch onto his arm with a panic look on your face but reality sets in that you were indeed safe in bed and not deep in the ocean floating below you. “i’m sorry, carlos,” you explain to him your fear of the ocean and that is why you were having a nightmare, also exhaling the sea sickness which he immediately kisses your head apologizing for not seeing how sick you’d been feeling. “we’ll get back to land tomorrow morning—,” your protest telling carlos you don’t wanna ruin the trip but he just reassures you with a smile and tucks you back in bed with him. “you can’t ruin anything as long as i’m with you, i am happy.”

MAX VERSTAPPEN ¹

★ sleeping peacefully beside each other with only the small sound of wind outside you begin stirring in max’s arms as images from the horror movie you had watched earlier with max invaded your sleep. “no…max, help….please no!” your voice grows louder and at your last no you sit up catching your breath and looking around your surroundings. “shcatje? what’s wrong?” max sits up rubbing your shoulder softly helping you calm down.

★ silence fills the room but then your glare at him slapping his shoulder, “it’s your fault! this stupid nightmare was of your stupid movie you suggested we watch!” you yell at him, max can’t help but laugh at your outburst regarding what your nightmare had been about. “so you’re saying this may fault? you wanted to watch the movie too!” he argues back, after an exhausting triple header you were happy to spend some time alone. only for max to suggest watching a new horror movies that had just come out and you…you wanted to spend alone time with him. but what did he want? watch a scary movie where he just yapped the whole time about how unrealistic some scenes were.

★ “i didn’t want to watch the movie i thought you were just going to play it and make out with me! i didn’t think we were actually going to watch the movie and listen to you talk to whole entire time. i hate scary movies and you didn’t remember that…that’s not nice,” you pout at your boyfriend for forgetting one of your simplest dislikes you had. “i did forget that…i’m sorry, i just wanted to lay with you and watch something that was the first thing i saw on the tv. i won’t forget ever again, okay? no more nightmares.” max kisses your head and pulls you onto his lap which you smile at feeling closer to him, “we can make out now?” he adds, his lips trialing down your neck and you quickly agree pulling him into a very well needed kiss.

LEWIS HAMILTON ⁴⁴

★ “baby? i’m home! they had me doing so much today it’s supposed to be my day off where i spend time with my wife as we unpack in our new home but no they need me to…yn? love?” lewis walked into the new home you had bought together after a few months of being married you both wanted to move into a bigger home rather in the apartment you’d been in for year now. he expects to find you in the living room cuddling with roscoe but instead finds an empty kitchen and living room. “babe? i thought we were going for dinner—yn?” lewis stops midway when he walks into the bedroom and sees you cuddling roscoe with tears in your eyes.

★ “hey, what’s wrong? why are you crying?” lewis quickly joins you on the bed and pulls you into his arms and you just sob on him for the next few minutes, his soft rubs on your back and soothing words help calm you down after a bit. “i…it’s such a big house, you know? i love it and i’m excited to share this step with you. i just get scared being in a big house alone and just with roscoe because you’ll be gone so i’ll be her with the baby on my—.” lewis’ heart stops at the mention of a baby, “baby? are you pregnant?” expecting some response fork you he receives another crying session form you in his arms mumbling words along the line of “going to be here in a big house with a baby what if someone breaks in?” “i’m gonna have swollen feet!” “whose going to sing to the baby while you’re away?” “what if—.”

★ “honey…let’s take a deep breath okay? now, i can’t promise there won’t be lonely days but you can come along with me until you are no longer able to travel alright? that has never been a problem. i’m going to make sure to be with you every step of the way. we will get through this, alright? together.” he reassures you, trying his best to stop you from overthinking. “i just found out this morning i was waiting to tell you once you got home but i was so tired and overthinking…that never ends well for me. i just got scared this is all so new the house and now the baby? we’re gonna be okay, right?” his smile warms your heart (and nerves), “we are gonna be perfect, honey. me, you, roscoe, and the baby.”

[katiascraft]

"This is how you fall in love" | OP81

parings: Oscar Piastri x Reader.

Summary: Oscar is truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

Now playing: "this is how you fall in love" by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler.

Word count: +1,2k

Warnings: I think none just pure fluff. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many errors). I do what I can. Not proofread.

Authors note: hey I don’t even know if this is good - I really hope it is - but I needed to write about Oscar SO BAD. (Btw is Yale in New York? Forgot to look it up). Update: I changed it. Yale it’s no even near to NYC 🤣 I’m a mess. Don’t forget to comment, like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

It was a sunny morning in Monaco. The quiet of the city could still be appreciated. You were asleep on the bed you shared with Oscar. It was your first night here since you haven’t seen each for the last time about 1 month or maybe almost 2. Time is a difficult thing to be aware of with his schedule to be honest.

Both of you had really busy lifestyles yet managed to build this relationship. Mostly it was a long distance relationship. He was traveling and working the whole year. And you were a student at Ivy Columbia University in New York City. As students it was difficult to find a gap between your exam and classes that fitted the races. You tried your best to always be there for him. Even if it was through the phone after the race. And for him that was really considerate.

You didn’t even have time to breathe when it was exams season yet you still find time to call and check on him. He knows it’s an obvious thing you’re supposed to do with people you love. But still he really appreciates it.

He was so happy and grateful you were finally together. Because you don’t see each other that often - every moment you spend together it’s so intense and pure magic. You do everything you could think of before saying goodbye again and part ways. It was the hardest part of your relationship. You said goodbye to each other so many times it anxiety breaking. He just never could get enough from you, from being with you. He has never felt this way about anyone and the fact that it’s been 4 years of being side by side it was crazy to him. How he would never get bored of you. You were always so intriguing, unpredictable, witty. You were the opposite when it came to what others could see. But behind close doors in your little magical and full of love world - you two matched each other's crazy perfectly.

Oscar is an introvert and really shy when it comes to interactions with people, always feeling nervous and so polite. You were always loud and could talk even with a wall if you wanted to. Always the life of the party so extroverted. You were the opposite but the same in a way. You would get so shy around him giggling like the teenager you were since you two met. And he could be the best at flirting and teasing around you. You made him feel so comfortable in his own skin and he just got loose and relaxed. Could be the real him with you. And just for you.

In your little beautiful world you wouldn’t stop talking about everything and anything. Joking around and teasing each other just to end up having sex in the living room. The chemistry between you two was unmatched. Behind your four walls he was the most confident man and you were as well. Bringing the best of each other out. Just for the other one. You were sexy, fierce, not afraid of anything. He made you feel even powerful.the way he always uplift you when you needed him the most and the fact that you could be so vulnerable knowing he won’t judge. He never did. He knew the real you and embraced it. His love changed you so much. He is the best thing that ever happened to you. And you were his. Oscar with you was kind of another person. It was him of course but intensified. Open and free. You gave him that space, that safety. And he adored you so much for that. Being himself it’s something he struggles with most of the time. Shying away. But with you by his side he could be the life of the party too.

He loved watching you study so concentrated. He would join you in silence, maybe by reading a book, or preparing your favorite tea in moral support. Or he would just sit in silence admiring you. How the sun would reflect on you and how it could make you shine even more. How perfect you’d look. And how that could make his heart race high speed. He would feel so lucky to have you. The comfort he felt was so big. He would want the time to stop right there and live stuck there forever. With you. Also, he loved the way you showed him so much love. He loved your homemade cakes and pies. You were so good with pastry. It was your inside joke. Because you were so good with him as well. He sometime would join you and try to help just to fail miserably and start a flour fight. The kitchen ended up in a mess but you were giggling and enjoying yourselves. Everything was worth it.

He really loved sharing activities together. Whether it was a paddle match against George and Carmen or Maria Kart battles with Lando. Also you loved hiking together and discovering new places around Monaco where you could escape reality and plan picnic dates. He loved that you got along so well with his friends and family. Since day one it felt natural. Everyone was welcoming of you. He was so nervous about it. But it was perfect because for him you were.

He heard you coming down the stairs just in time for the breakfast he had prepared for you both. You appeared with your hair in a mess and sleepy eyes. His tshirt on and your boxers of lighting mcqueen. You looked so adorable. Squishy. he smiled widely at you. And you returned the smile hugging him tightly.

“Good morning sleeping beauty” he said sweetly, grabbing you in his arms and kissing your temple. He heard you giggle.

“Good morning my Prince Charming. How grateful I am to wake up next to you for the rest of my life” you said teasingly and romantically looking at him. He giggled blushing. A soft pink tone now on his cheeks. You always had that effect on him.

“and how grateful I am to have you in my arms every morning for the rest of my days” he said just like you making you giggle to then plant a soft kiss on your lips. “I love you,” he said, pulling away gently.

“Me too my love” you said softly.

You two took all of the things he had prepared with so much love to the table by the pool. The morning was beautiful and warm. Perfect. He put all of your favorite fruits and prepared your favorite cappuccino as well. He is always on the details. He remembered everything about you. You didn't have to ask - he already knew. He was perfect. Perfectly imperfect. There was no other man like him. You were sure about it. And you felt really lucky he even looked at you. These past few years were everything and more of what you could ever have dreamed as a kid. You always wanted to have your special someone - but you never thought you would find him.

You had your breakfast talking about what you were gonna do for the day.

Maybe this is what it really feels to fall in love.

Peaceful. Comfortable in silence. Not overthinking. Just being you and feeling loved. Feeling seen. Feeling celebrated. Cared for. Being chosen. The one. The bestest of friends. Your shoulder to cry on. Laughing until crying. Hugs and more hugs. Plasire. Deep talk. Vulnerability. Partnership. Support. Admiration. Trust and communication.

Giving a part of you to someone else to carry everywhere they went trusting they will never break it.

Maybe this is how you fall in love.

How you two fell in love every single day.

——————————————————————————————-

Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any ideas my inbox is open so send your requests!

[aceecee]

Insatiable - Chapter Six

TW for this chapter: some angst, reader displaying destructive behaviour just like with her ex-girlfriend, death, grieving or lack of it, themes of obsession and possessiveness

Don't worry, it's packed with a lot of fluff as well

AN: I will not apologise for my favouritism of Zayne.

WC: 6.2K

Masterlist

When the days are rough, he finds himself staring at the photo of the young girl. His eyes trained on her smile. The smile he failed to cherish too late.

The smile he’ll never see again. 

He doesn’t really care much for birthdays. 

But his family does. Many find it funny how such a stoic kid can belong to outgoing and extroverted parents. He wonders the same. 

The party is in their backyard, his parents wanted something extravagant but his wishes won in the end. It was easy to pull the ‘it’s my birthday’ card, he doesn’t ask for much often so he gets what he wants on the rare occasions he does.

Banners are strung up everywhere. His mother’s work. She’s also put balloons everywhere and decorated everything. Despite his wishes she had gotten a bouncy castle. He felt he was too old for it but his classmates seemed to enjoy it. He wasn’t close with the people in his year level, he didn’t know how to be friends with them and they saw him as cold. 

He doesn’t have to be a genius - though he is - to see that none of them want to be here. They give him strained smiles while their parents stand behind them, the reason as to why his classmates have been forced to attend. He almost feels bad for them.

They all disperse into their own groups after telling him a half-assed ‘Happy birthday’ and thrusting their gifts into his hand. He tosses the gifts to the pile, not interested in the contents. He’s more than happy to stay at the side, book in hand. It’s on the reading list for an upcoming subject and he likes to be prepared.

Besides, the actual people he wanted couldn’t make it. Caleb had a school trip and Mara was down with food poisoning. She had called him in tears, letting him know she couldn’t make it this morning with promises to make it up to him. Though a little disappointed, he wished her a well recovery and told her not to worry. That just left-

“Happy birthday, zayniee.” 

You. 

It left you.

You’re wearing a cute jumper, blue ombre in colour. He remembers when you had started knitting it. You’ve paired it with a black skirt and black tights. You’re wearing earrings in the shape of blue ribbons. You look cute. You’re smiling at him softly and there’s a rectangle box in your hands. It’s wrapped in brown paper with an ice blue ribbon and a card on the box. He’s intrigued. 

You hand him the box and he takes it. Instead of tossing it like the rest, he keeps it on his lap. 

You take the seat next to him, your legs don’t reach the floor so you settle for swinging them. “I’m sorry the others couldn’t make it. They felt bad.” He can’t imagine Caleb feeling sad for missing his birthday. He has no idea why the rascal didn’t like him. “It’s fine. It can’t be helped.” You just give another soft smile.

The two of you sit in comfortable silence as he continues reading his book.

“Oh, is that Monomania?”

He glances at you. “You’ve read it?”

“Yeah, I got bored one day. I liked it, the author did well balancing the themes of obsession and going too far but it also fell flat in many areas.”

He hums, an invitation to continue. “You want a small spoiler about the ending?” you ask. He turns to you and contemplates for a second before agreeing. 

“You won’t like it.”

“Like what?”

“The ending.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s more of a fairytale ending than the one even I anticipated.” 

“Is that what you think of me? Cold?”

“Not at all. But even you can’t deny that you can be a little…logical.”

“Hmm.” 

Of course you end up being right when he finishes the book the next day, a happy ending was not needed for a book like this. It ruined his morning a little. His parents didn’t notice the subtle pout on his face.

His mother calls everyone over to cut the cake. It’s ice-themed. He doesn’t like it. He feels you lean in towards him, touching each other’s shoulders. “At least it’s not a carrot cake,” you comfort him. 

At least it’s not a carrot cake, he repeats in his head. It’s weird how you always seemed to know the right thing to say. You seem to understand him a lot. He doesn’t know how to feel about it.

The both of you enjoy the cake together. Your love for sweets was the biggest thing you had in common.

After, it’s time to unwrap the gifts. He doesn’t mean to be unappreciative but it's clear his classmates don’t know him all too well. He’s left with unimaginative gifts like socks or simple clothing. He’ll just donate them.

A familiar brown wrapped box sits in front of him. He unconsciously saved it for last. He’s careful with unwrapping it, you’re watching him with anticipation and the last thing needed is for him to disappoint you with his reaction. The card on the box doesn’t say the stereotypical ‘Happy Birthday Zayne’ like the rest had. 

You’ve given him a coupon instead. ‘Ask [Name] to make you whatever sweet you desire’ is on it. Towards the bottom are five punch holes. He’ll have to be careful with his decisions. Your sweets are on a whole other world on their own, he’ll have to savour them. 

He removes the wrapping, it’s a vintage record player still in mint condition. You beam at the awed look in his eyes. There’s two vinyl records underneath. “They work, don’t worry. I wasn’t sure about your music taste so I picked at random. The shop I found had many more, I’ll take you there.” 

He flashes you a small smile. “Thank you,” he says softly. He’s never mentioned liking music around you or even talked about record players but the gift screams him in a shocking way.

You stare at him frozen for a second. He doesn’t realise you’re flustered when you avoid eye contact.

Maybe birthdays aren’t so bad. 

“I’m surprised [Name] isn’t with you. The two of you are always attached at the hip.” When leaving for the new cafe that had opened up, the last thing he expected to happen was meeting his childhood friend again. 

Mara was taller now. A hunter, he thinks feeling annoyed. She has a heart condition and chose one of the most extraneous jobs. It’s just like her. He remembers how [Name] had supported her in this endeavor. Zayne had missed you all these years. To everyone’s surprise, the two of you had become fast friends. He doesn’t understand how a warm person like you sought friendship in him but he’s glad you did. He regrets not keeping in touch.

He’s taken aback at the tears that gather in Mara’s dark brown eyes at his question. She’s grown to be a beautiful woman but his heart remains unaffected. He tries to imagine what you look like now.

Did they fight? He brushes the thought off. There’s no way the two of you would end up not friends. No the only reason he can come with for a separation is-

His eyes widened. 

No. No. No. 

“She’s dead.”

Mara had shown him where your grave was, right next to your parents. She’s waiting in the car while he visits you.

In his mind you had achieved your dream of being a bakery owner and were happy. It’s what you deserved.

He’s disgusted in himself. He’d run away like a coward in his childhood. He missed the extra years with you the others got. While he was busy with med school and then becoming a doctor, you were dead. You’d been dead this whole time and he had no idea.

He’ll spend the next few years just thinking. Thinking of you, of everything about you he can commit to memory. The only place you exist is in the minds of those you’ve left behind. He’ll think of missed chances and regrets. Sometimes he allows himself to fall into the what ifs, imagining a future with you that would never come to pass. These moments were rare, he only indulged in them at his weakest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to your grave.

It’s all he can say.

You had decided it would be best to keep your wishes to disappear to yourself. The twins would never break their allegiance to Sylus, not that you ever wanted them to. No, in the N109 zone, the only person you can fully trust is you. 

You had stayed up that night and came up with a mental checklist for escape. 

1. Find your own place. Not in the N109 zone. 

“No,” Sylus tells you. You’re standing before him in his office. He’s not even looking at you, too busy with the paperwork in front of him. His words bring a pout to your face.

[Why not?] 

“Because I said so. You’re not getting your own place. You have everything you need right here. You’re not leaving.” You glare at him and a hint of amusement flickers in his eyes. You hate that he never takes you seriously. “End of discussion.”

Taking in a deep breath - to calm the need to strangle him, it doesn’t work - you reluctantly relent. Instead you ask for something else. 

[Can I go visit my brother?]

It bruises your ego to ask for permission to do anything. You’re not a child, you’re nearly the age you were when you died the first time. But the N109 zone isn’t one you can just enter and leave when you want, unless you’re someone like Sylus. 

Your words stop him, he pushes away from the work on his desk. His attention is now fixed on you, his gaze leaves you on edge. Nearly two years have been spent with him and you still have no idea how to read him. It's frustrating, being able to read people has always been your strong suit, it helped with the constant manipulation you would pull. You had been happy to do his bidding without question before and now you regret the amount of control he has on you. 

“Why would I do that?” he crosses his arms. 

[Because it’s my brother…?]

He narrows his eyes at you.

“Why would I do that?” he repeats. 

[Because I just found out he’s alive and I want to see him. Not to meet him, I’ll watch from a distance. I just have to see him with my own eyes.] You give him a pleading look. He sighs and looks away, taking a few seconds to agree before looking at you again.

“Fine,” he reluctantly agrees. “But you know the ordeal by now. Do something for me in return.”

Ugh everything is always a business deal with him. 

“Sit,” he commands, gesturing at the chairs in front of him. You do.

He takes the glasses off his face. A shame. He looked very sophisticated in them. “That doctor you mentioned, there’s still nothing on her,” every month the two of you would meet and he’d relay the information he had found out and in the last year, not even a sentence could be written down. It left the both of you frustrated.

[Do you think..]

“That we have a traitor amongst us? Yes I’m sure of it now,” he finishes the thought for you. There’s a tick in his jaw. You don’t blame him, moles are annoying to deal with normally. But here in the N109 zone finding one is like finding a needle in a haystack. Everyone is a mole here. Finding the right one will be hard.

“Don’t worry, I already have a trap settled for our little rat. We’ll find them.”

His words don’t comfort you. They meant he’d known about the mole for a while, at least long enough to come up with a plan. Before your mind can go on a tirade at your developing distaste for your boss, he interrupts you. 

“Moving on, I’m sending you on your first mission.” You keep his stare. “After you come back from seeing your brother. Make sure to have no contact with anyone. No one can know you’re alive. Also remember to take your phone this time. Got it?”

Ah right. The phone he’d given you was rarely used. There was no point, all the people you communicated with lived under one roof and you all used Meph as a phone anyways. 

You nod. 

[Cross my heart and hope to die.]

He glares at you, not impressed.

That’s how you find yourself, staring at the mirror in your bathroom. 

Sylus had given you three days to visit Ei.

The weather in Linkon will be cold so you make sure to dress up in a nice wool coat. You have a small bag with you, there’s a few outfits in there and way too many pairs of undergarments. You’re not taking any chances. There’s a key to the hotel room Sylus had booked for you in there. The problem is the very large and very visible scar across your throat. You lift your head up a little to check it out. It’s still bright red. Your finger’s trail over it. The scar doesn’t feel as thick as it used to be but it’ll draw attention. You decide to take a scarf with you. 

You still haven’t decided on how to feel about it. On one hand, it’s frustrating not being able to talk. It gets in the way of your everyday life. Even if you can sign now, many people don’t understand it so you have to carry a tablet around. Your torturers/killers had taken so much from you that it doesn’t hurt emotionally that they’ve taken your ability to talk as well. On the other hand, you’ve gotten used to not speaking. No longer do you remember what you sound like.

Ah, well. No point dwelling on it.

Sylus will show you how to leave the N109 zone. The way he does. 

You feel like an imposter being back.

You had once built a life here but that’s been gone for a long time. You no longer have a place here.

First order of business is to visit the library, after you check into your hotel of course. The looks you receive all go ignored. You’re not humble about them, you’re aware of your beauty. 

You peruse the selection of books but none of them interest you. Sylus already had a vast collection and you weren’t interested to add to them. You weren’t here for the books either. No, you were here for the computers. 

You walk over to one and set your bag on the table. Sitting down, you turn it on. A book and a pen are retrieved from the bag. The purpose of your visit is to look for places available. A simple one bed will do. Hell, you’ll even take - you shudder at the thought - a studio. You browse through all the available properties, noting their addresses down.

Maybe if Sylus hadn’t proven time and time again he can’t be trusted then you would have accepted his ‘no’ without fighting. But, you have to look after yourself first. Besides, the small act of rebellion soothes you, you had grown a bit too complacent. He’ll find out, Sylus has too many ways of tracking you. The very phone he had given you which was currently in your bag for one. Mephisto for another, the city was loud and filled with people, everything is noisy so you have to really concentrate to hear the bird. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to be following you. 

Second order of business is the graveyard, flagging down a taxi, you show the driver the address written on your book.

You walk by your own gravestone and you try your best not to register your parents’. You’re not ready. You stand before the gravestone you’re here for.

Caleb Xia.

He really died. 

You hadn’t been there.

He was dead.

And you weren’t there. 

Some friend you were. Your mind remains oddly blank as you stand in front of him. It’s not like you can even say anything to him. Not even the lies that easily roll off your tongue. You turn to leave.

Third order of business.

Akso Hospital. 

Zayne doesn’t believe in ghosts.

Not when his coworkers tell each other stories of those that took their last breath in the hospital, now doomed to forever roam the grounds. Not when Mara would tell him “spooky” stories to try and freak him out (it never works, he has no idea why she hasn’t given up). 

So then, why is there a ghost standing in front of him? 

The woman standing before him looks just like you - a grown up version of you. The rational part of him tries to answer, it’s just a coincidence that they look similar. It’s just a coincidence that the lady is standing right in front of the hospital room where your brother currently resides.

Just a coincidence. 

There’s no way you’re alive. There’s no way its you wearing that long black winter coat with the black scarf around your neck. The coat practically swallows the woman up, nothing about her body can be seen. It’s not you because you hated keeping your hair long. It’s not you because you'd never sport that dead emotionless look on your eyes. It’s not you because you loved sleeping and you would never have eye bags that huge.

It can’t be you.

As a doctor, he’s treated a variety of people, especially those who have experienced trauma. But his mind (heart) can’t accept the way you look. He never thought he would see you so broken. Just what have you gone through all these years?

The doctor in him is screaming. Yelling to stop standing there and fix you. 

He watches silently, frozen, as you contemplate entering the room. Your hand remains on the door handle, the window in it showing you the view of your brother inside. Eiden hasn’t noticed you, he’s fast asleep. The image of his rest calms you down. It’s a good thing he can still sleep peacefully. 

The ghost looks painfully human as she steps away from the door. You still haven’t made a single sound, even your steps are quiet. He sees you close your eyes for a few seconds, your hands come up to rub your arms, an effort to ground or comfort yourself. When they reopen you look more focused. You’ve made up your mind on something when you sharply turn and end up looking right at him.

He sees your eyes widen in shock. In realisation. He can no longer convince himself you’re a ghost or another woman, there’s no denying it. It’s you. 

The two of you remain frozen where you stand. Neither party makes a move. Neither of you speak either.

You break the moment by running away.

He watches as you leave him again. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Zayne wasn’t supposed to be working but when is a doctor’s schedule reliable? You saw him listed as Eiden’s doctor and you weren’t even surprised. No matter how hard you try to stay away from the main cast, your fate seems to be thread right through theirs. Fuck. You should’ve made a plan just in case. When has anything in this horrible world gone right for you???

You try to look for a taxi. Hell you’ll even break into a car if you have to. Anything to get out of here.

Your mind is unreliable in moments of panic. Every thought is dramatised and the actions you end up taking go too far. You’ll come up with a simpler solution later but by then the damage will often be done leaving you with regrets.

Oh my god, I should just kill myself. Yup, that’ll fix it.

The last thing you wanted was to see Zayne again. He’ll tell everyone, you can’t have that.

I should just kill him then! 

Before you can enact terrible crimes, your psychotic thoughts are thankfully halted at the hand on your shoulder.

You shove your shoulder away, stepping back until there’s a good distance between you. Zayne sees the fear in your eyes and his movements stop. 

“It’s you,” he finally says in awe.

You can’t look him in the eyes, there’s too many things in there for you to decipher. 

“[Name],” he calls out again. That gets your attention. It’s been so long since you’ve heard another say your name. Even after Sylus found out your real identity, he never acknowledged the name. As far as the world knows, [Name] is dead. 

He tries to take a step towards you but your eyes are trained on him, when he notices the dread on your face, he stays in place.

“Please…just don’t leave,” he begs. It’s so uncharacteristic of him but you’ve always been weak to a pretty man begging.

“Just wait,” he checks his watch, “for thirty minutes. I get off work and we can talk. That’s it. I only want to talk.” The desperation in his voice freezes any hesitation in your mind. Memories rush in your head, the two of you had been so close once. He’d never done you wrong.

[Only if you promise you won’t tell anyone.] It’s a gamble whenever you sign, fifty percent in your favour, either the person knows the language or they don’t. But if there’s one person you’d think did know, it would be Zayne. Besides, your hands are far too shaky to write.

As expected he looks surprised at the movement of your hands. “Why are you…” he notices the ‘don’t ask’ expression on your face. “Fine. I won’t tell anyone if you wait,” he clears his throat and gathers himself. His voice is clearer when he speaks again. “There’s a cafe down the street, wait for me there. It’s going to rain soon,” he hands you his credit card. His eyes show relief when you take it. His phone beeps and when he checks it you know he’s needed. You won’t let him choose between his responsibilities and you so you relent.

[I’ll be waiting.]

He gives you a small smile, there’s a thousand questions on his face that he doesn’t ask.

Zayne watches you through the glass of the cafe. 

You’re sitting at a two-person table. There’s an empty coffee cup in front of you, its warmth long gone. You haven’t ordered any food which worries him. He’d never known you to give up free food.

All his previous attempts of envisioning you grown up fall spectacularly against the real deal. The lashes on your eyes that he wants to count individually. The blemishes on your face have him wanting to know how they got there. The long nails you have that seem almost inhuman have him intrigued. Every part of you tells a story he desperately wants to know but it’s a tale you’re not ready to divulge. 

Maybe you’d rather have Mara around. Zayne isn’t the type of person people go to for comfort. He understands that. He can’t give you what you need.

But, fuck, he’s going to try. For you.

You take notice of him when he enters the cafe. Instead of going straight to you, he walks over to the counter. You watch him confused at the action until he returns with two plates. One has a strawberry shortcake and the other is a chocolate cherry tart. Your eyes lit up at the sweets and he suppressed the laugh bubbling in his throat. He notices your focus on the shortcake and places it in front of you.

None of you say anything, simply picking up your spoons and digging in. Then, like it's second nature, you pick your plate up and Zayne does the same, you put the shortcake in front of him and he gives you the tart. Neither of you can help the wide grins you bear when you realise what you both have done. An old memory resurfaces in your mind.

The five of you are currently on your way to the park, walking through the town. It’s a nice sunny day and none of you had anything going on so why not enjoy each other’s company? 

Calen, Mara and Eiden are at the front, talking animatedly with each other. You and Zayne are walking behind silent. 

“What do you think [Na-” Mara cuts her own words off when she looks back to you and realises that neither you or Zayne are there. The three of them retrace their steps and find the both of you by the bakery, your faces nearly pressed up against the glass.

“They’re at it again,” Caleb says, annoyed. “Why were we even surprised,” Eiden comments. Mara can’t help but watch on in jealousy. You were her friend, it’s her you should be doing stuff like this with.

“Those weren’t there last week,” you let Zayne know, two pairs of eyes trained at the batch of desserts displayed through the glass. “You’re right.” The two of you waste no time entering.

“C’mon,” Caleb grabs the wrists of the two people by his side, leading them away. “We’ll come back for them, they’re in their own world now.” At least he won’t have to share Mara with you today.

Zayne and you have developed a ritual of sorts. Since you’re both just children, you can’t buy all the sweets you’d like to. Each of you only carries enough money for a singular sweet on your person. So, you each order a different one and share. You order a sachertorte while he gets the mille-feuille. 

The both of you sit down and only take two bites. The first to taste the desert and the second to confirm if it is actually good. You groan at the thick chocolate and moisture of the cake, “It’s really good.” Zayne has to be careful with his, it’s made of puff pastry and can easily crack. “The custard in this is perfect,” he lets you know. You swap your plates around and try the second one.

The lecture you’ll end up getting from your parents about having too many sweets is worth it.

The smiles don’t wear off as you reminisce. 

There’s the smile he looked for in each passing person.

The both of you just stare into each other’s eyes, the words of the others in the shop blur out. The comfortable silence you often shared with him in your childhood returns, two pairs of eyes do all the talking. You break the contact by blinking and that breaks him out of his stupor. 

“I..” his words trail off as he overthinks what he’s going to say. You try to give him a comforting smile.

“I won’t ask about what happened. I won’t ask about why you’re not speaking either just…” your breath hitches at the look he gives you, mixed with desperation and yearning. “Let me examine you. Then I’ll be at ease.” 

Your gaze falls over the empty coffee cup as you consider his words. [I don’t do well with hospitals…or doctors really.] 

“That’s fine. We can go to my place,” he negotiates.

You should say no. You should walk out of here and never come back to him, your mind screams at you.

But it’s Zayne. The same Zayne who had left when he hurt the girl he cared about, Mara, not able to deal causing pain to someone he loved. The same Zayne who became a cardiologist to try and make it up to her. 

At your discomfort, a smile adorns his face. “I’m glad to see at least something hasn’t changed,” he muses.

You shoot him a confused look. He pauses, a look of contemplation in his eyes, wondering if he should continue his thought. He does.

“When we were kids you hated being taken care of, even by your family. Almost like you didn’t believe you deserved it,” he explained. “It didn’t stop you from caring for everyone else though.”

You didn’t think anyone noticed your guilt.

There’s a gentle flick to your forehead, snapping you out of your thoughts. You look up at him in awe. “Many are not fortunate to have those who cherish them, so stop running,” his voice is in a whisper, soothing as always.

Ironically, he speaks nearly the same words you had to Caleb. You were always the biggest hypocrite you’ve met.

[Okay.]

The ride to his place is silent.

True to his word, it starts to pour heavily. You worry for Mara when you can hear thunder. Is she still afraid of it? Your gaze is out the window, committing each image to memory. Fauna and flora were scarce in the N109 zone but they flourish here in Linkon city. It’s nice to see. Linkon city looks so alive compared to what you’ve become used to.

Zayne opens the door for you as you get out of the car. His house is just what one would expect of him. White and black are the primary colours. Everything is placed neatly and organised in a fitting manner. It still feels like a home, you can tell the place is cherished. 

“Come to my office,” he leads you into a room. He gestures for you to sit at the chair by his desk and you do. 

His hand reaches for your scarf. “I’m going to take this off now. Is that okay?” You nod and wait with bated breath as he works on removing it, gently pulling out any hair tangled in it. His gaze is like steel when he sees the scar. You stop breathing all together when his fingers trace over it before removing them completely, his hand clenched into a ball by his side. Even his anger is silent. 

[It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt at all. I’ll speak again, don’t worry.] You don’t like seeing him like that. His eyes soften at your words. Only you would try and comfort him about your injury. He kneels before you, hands reaching your left one. He looks over the injury he had caused. He doesn’t have to speak for you to hear his thoughts. You pull your hand out of his.

[Not your fault.]

“How did you stop me that day?”

When you don’t make a move to sign, he sighs. Another secret…

“Neverm-”

[If I knew I would tell you. Truth is my body moved on its own that day. I haven’t done it since then.]

“Ah.” 

You can’t help the giddiness as you look over the boy you used to know. He’s become a man now, he’s become the Zayne you used to squeal over. Part of you misses the chubbiness he had in his face but the other part appreciated the sharp look he has now. He’s grown even more taller, and his clothes do a bad job of hiding the muscles underneath. And - oh wow- his eyes are so beautiful. You could look at them all day and never be bored.

Due to his stoicism, many like to paint him as a cold and indifferent person. You yourself thought he’d be like that with you, that his kindness was only reserved for the MC. You had been proven wrong every step of the way. You know better now.

That unlike his evol, Zayne is warm. Not in the way of body temperature or even his outward personality. He was warm in the way he adores animals. In the unique way he shows his care. In his touch. In the way he’d always been careful to never hurt your feelings growing up. You could go on about him all day. None of these things were noticeable at a first meeting with him, maybe even the second but you’re glad he let you in so you could learn them.

You have no doubt that he’s an amazing doctor. His patients must feel so lucky knowing that their physician will advocate for them and has their back. There are only four people that restore your faith in humanity and he’s one of them.

Without thinking, your hand reaches out and cradles his face. He lets out a gasp at the contact before engulfing your hand with his and leaning his face into your hand further. His eyes close and the peaceful expression on his face does not help the erratic beating of your heart.  

“I’ll make some tea. Would you like that?” He’s staring at you so earnestly as he kneels, your hands still touching. You lick your suddenly dry lips, all too aware of how his eyes follow the muscle. You nod. This was getting too intimate. He lets go of your hand and stands up. “I’ll be back,” he says.

You decide to survey his office while you wait. The chair you’re sitting on is comfortable. What catches your attention is the bookshelf mounted on the wall. You stand up and walk over to it. Your fingers trace over the spines.The books on it are mostly medical journals and none of them interest you. You stop before an item, one very familiar to you.

A record player.

You remember how frantically you had gone into every shop you came across, looking for a fitting gift. To your luck, you came across a shop with vintage goods. There had been many, in various colours but you thought Zayne would appreciate the dark wood one. The record player was small enough to carry in one’s arms. You picked out two music tracks to go with it. To your utter relief he had loved the gift. 

The shop had become a regular place to go with Zayne. It had a variety of vinyl records as well but they were expensive. The two of you would save up for them one by one. You helped him amass quite a collection. 

“You noticed it,” his words don’t surprise you. His steps in the kitchen and the noises of him preparing the tea were all clear to you, so was him making his way back. He’s holding a tray with two steaming cups on it. He sets it down on the desk and walks towards you.

[I can’t believe you still have it.] He shoots you an incredulous look. “Of course I did. I make sure to keep it in good condition as well.” He goes over to his desk, pulling out a drawer. The record in his hands is one you know very well. All the artists on these records were unknown to you and this record is no exception. Except for the fact that you ended up becoming a huge fan of the artist. It’s a classical melody. The notes are simple but are so hauntingly beautiful. It’s engraved into your heart.

[It’s our song.]

“Yes it is.”

He places the record onto the player. Familiar music begins playing. You close your eyes to take it in, your head bopping to the tune. Zayne watches as you do the same notion you had when he first played the record. It’s soothing that some old parts of you still remain.

When your eyes open, you stare in shock at his outstretched hand. His cheeks glow with a red hue.

“Indulge me.”

Please. 

You stare at his palm.

What are you thinking, Zayne? She’s not ready for something like-

You place your hand in his. 

He stares in awe at the flustered look you have. It’s him that’ll need a heart transplant if you keep this up.

Your fingers lace together and he uses the momentum to gently pull you closer. His other hand goes on your lower back while you keep yours on his upper arm. You push your face into his chest as you sway together, you can’t handle looking into his eyes. You dance for a while completely unaware of the turmoil in his mind.

You feel his face move closer to your head. He places a tender kiss to the side of your head. Everything you’ve been holding in seems to break. He holds you tighter when he feels you shake, the wet of your tears decorate his neck. His hand caresses your head over and over again. It’s comfort at its best.

“I’m here,” he whispers against your head. “Let it all out.” It kills him inside how much you seem to need this. How he can’t even hear your cries. It’s fine, he’ll take whatever you give him.

Later, Zayne carries you to his bed. You had cried in his arms for nearly an hour until you passed out from the exhaustion. He lowers you onto the bed, making sure to take the coat off. Pulling the duvet over you, he sits down by your side and examines your face. Your eyes were puffy from the tears but it looked like you really needed this.

As much as he doesn’t want to, he gets up to leave. His movement is stopped by a hand on his wrist. ‘Stay,’ you mouth at him. You push yourself to the other side of the bed, patting the spot you were previously on. He gets on and settles in. You give him a sleepy smile and doze off.

He doesn’t sleep.

Watching you is enough.

You should’ve left. You should’ve gotten into a car and drove off. You should not have stayed. Because you’ve given a very desperate man a taste of you and he’s not letting you go now.

Tag List: @serenity-loves-red @crimsonmarabou @reni502

[sturnsstar]

Adore You ✶ Matt Sturniolo

⋆.˚pairing: Extrovert!Yapper!FemReader x Introvert!Matt

⋆.˚warnings: porn with plot / minor discussion / reader can’t take anything seriously and overthinks a lot / miscommunication / Matt just wants reader to shut up / Matt is a communication king / pet names! / SMUT / fingering / brief jerking off / some dirty talk / p in v / no protection (USE IT) / they banter a lot

⋆.˚requested: no

⋆.˚summary: You and Matt have been together for almost 5 months now. Your lifestyle is pretty different from his, but you manage to find compromises throughout the relationship. One night, you convince him to accompany you to a party, where you start to overthink your relationship. Luckily, Matt is here to prove you wrong. 

P.S. english is not my first language.

It was 11 pm as I finished reapplying my gloss for the third time that night. I finally convinced Matt to come to a party with me. It had been a while since I last went to a big social event, since Matt doesn’t really enjoy them. He never stopped me from going, of course, but he generally declined my invitations to join me.

Tonight though he changed his mind: while I was in the middle of preparations he sent me a text, asking me where and when the party was. I was so excited to go with him: I liked showing him off, he was my best friend and the best thing that ever happened to me. I honestly didn’t understand how he could like me, given the fact our personalities were so different: I’m what could be described as a social butterfly, a yapper, always ready for a new adventure or a new party, the more people the better. Matt was somewhat shy but not really: he enjoyed being with his friends but he never liked loud places, which I, on the contrary, loved.

We somehow worked anyway: he’s the lighthouse I need to calm myself, the part of me that knows how to handle me and my moods. And I like to think I help him too, making him understand that sometimes going out and trying new things is not that bad.

He picks me up twenty minutes later and we drive to the house where the party is taking place. The host is one of my old schoolmates: she’s graduated University and wants to celebrate with her old friends. I begged Matt to come with me, mostly because I want him to know my friends better. The fact he’s here with me tonight means the world to me.

“Thank you for joining me” I say, taking his right hand in mine and squeezing it gently. “It means a lot”.

“Sure, sun” he says not looking at me but squeezing my hand back, his attention on the road. I notice his hand is a bit sweaty. He’s nervous.

“It will be alright. They will like you” I reassure him, confident in my words. There’s nothing not to like about Matt: he’s a kind soul, he just needs to be more open to let the rest of the world see it as well. He hums the tune of the song that’s playing on the radio, and I understand he doesn’t want to continue the conversation. I lay back against the seat and enjoy the rest of the ride with him, knowing he needs silence to relax completely. He doesn’t let go of my hand, though.

We arrive at the right address and he parks the car a bit far away from the house. He kills the engine and doesn’t move to open the car door.

“You don’t have to, if you’re not comfortable” I say calmly, smiling softly at him. He turns his gaze to meet mine, and I can see the anxiety in his eyes. “I won’t force you to do something you don’t want, Matt. We can go home, watch some movie” I suggest, not able to hide the bit of disappointment in my voice. He notices it.

“No, it’s alright. We’re here anyway” and he gets out of the car. I can’t shake off the feeling he’s forcing himself to do this. That’s not what I want. Reluctantly I exit the car and reach his side as we walk towards the house. I take his hand in mine for reassurance, both his and mine, and we enter the already full house together.

Immediately the smell of smoke reaches us. I wrinkle my nose as we make our way through the living room, looking for the host. We find her in the kitchen, two beers in hand.

“You came!” She yells as soon as she sees me, making her way through the multitude of bodies that stand between us. I laugh happily at her outburst and her wobbly walk and immediately greet her with a hug, letting go of Matt’s hand.

“Of course! How could I miss it?” I ask grinning widely. I move back a step to be next to Matt again. “This is my boyfriend, Matt!” I introduce him to my friend, and she screeches about the fact that she’s been dying to meet him. I sense Matt flinching but my friend doesn’t notice. I do, though. He’s uncomfortable.

“We’ll just take something to drink, is that alright? Then we can catch up later” I tell my friend as I grab two cokes from the ice bucket. She voices her agreement before she shrieks again as soon as she sees another girl that played volleyball with us in school. With that she leaves us. I turn to look at Matt. 

“Did you like her?” I ask hopefully. He shrugs. “She yells a lot,” he deadpans. My shoulders sag, knowing this would be his answer but hoping he would say something else.

He senses my disappointment and takes my hand once again. “Sorry, sun. I’m trying” he says, his brows furrowed and his blue eyes sincere. I soften, knowing this is hard for him. He’s doing it for me. I smile and get on my tiptoes to peck his lips softly. “I know,” I whisper. 

Sometime later we make our way to the garden, where a bunch of different seats are spread all around on the grass. We sit down on a sofa where one of my old schoolmates invited us to. He was on the baseball team, if I remember well. We never really connected during school, but we were always at the same social gatherings, somehow. Tonight, he’s as drunk as one can be and suddenly considers me one of his oldest and dearest friends.

“And then, oh, then remember when they dared you to jump into the neighbors pool, and you actually did that?” He asks loudly and I giggle nervously, remembering I was a bit wild in my early teens. “Yeah, well, they called the cops after” I remember bashfully. 

“You never told me this story,” Matt says. I blush. “Yeah, well, it wasn’t one of my best moments” I admit embarrassed. Why do I feel so awkard? He’s my boyfriend, he knows me and he knows this happened years ago. I feel like I’m trying to make a good impression on him.

“This is just one of many, Matt!” Liam laughs. “She was a beast! You couldn’t stop her” I eye him carefully, not liking where this is going.

“You’re exaggerating” I try to joke, starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Liam scoffs. “Exaggerating? Nah. I was there! And if I remember it right, you never gave a fuck about what others thought. What’s changed?” He asks playfully. I feel Matt stiffen. 

“Nothing. I just don’t do this staff anymore” I deadpan, my face set in a stoic expression. I don’t like this conversation, I don’t like this party anymore. 

“Whatever, you’re no fun” Liam scoffs, his attention on me finally over. He turns around to find his next victim and I worriedly turn to look at Matt, but I find his expression extremely calm. 

“Everything ok?” I ask tentatively, and he turns to look at me quizzically.

“Yeah? I’m not a child who’s never interacted with the world” he spits, rather brutally. He’s upset, he doesn’t like my friends. 

“Well, sorry I asked then” I bite back, turning away from him as another one of my old acquaintances calls my name. I chat with her for a long time, forcing myself to laugh at her jokes and smile at the right moments, trying to ignore the gloomy boy next to me.

This is ridiculous. I told him he wasn’t obligated to come with me. Now he’s here and he’s trying to make me feel like shit? I’m not having it. I can’t be ashamed of who I am and was: this is part of me, and if he doesn’t like it, I haven’t chained him so that he can’t leave whenever he likes.

Matt bounces his leg, making the whole sofa tremble, and I grow rapidly irritated. I feel overwhelmed by everything that’s happening: the people that were part of my daily life once felt like strangers now, the stories they’re telling are making me feel self conscious, and the glares I sense from Matt are making me mad. I get up abruptly, Matt follows.

“Something wrong?” He asks, suddenly worried. Oh, so now that he got what he wanted he’s suddenly worried about me?

“I want to leave” I say flatly, making my way to the door. He quickly comes after me, trying to keep up with my pace. Once we’re inside his car and he starts the engine, I feel his gaze on me.

“Were you not having fun?” He asks, and I almost believe he’s oblivious to how he made me feel tonight. 

“No, drive” I mutter, my cheek against the window. He doesn’t say anything as he wordlessly drives towards his house.

“I want to sleep at my house tonight” I say, hearing him take a breath.

“Why?” 

“I just want to”

“Your things are at my place, though”

“I’ll get them tomorrow”

“Sun, can you tell me what I did wrong?” He asks, his voice pleading.

Why do I feel like crying? I should be angry, instead I’m just ashamed. I haven’t felt like tonight in a while.

“Are you serious?” I whisper, turning to look at him. He senses my discomfort and quickly pulls over, killing the engine and turning his head to look at me.

“What’s wrong?” He asks again, his brow raised.

“All night, you acted like I forced you to come with me! You kept puffing and huffing all the time. I was afraid to say the wrong thing and piss you off!” I outburst, my cheeks red and my eyes watery. 

Matt stays silent for a while, waiting to see if I have something else to say. I don't. Once he realizes this, he lets out a breath.

“Can I speak now?” he asks. I nod, my eyes on the road in front of us.

“I’m sorry you felt this way, sun. I tried to enjoy it. It was just too much. I felt overwhelmed by all the people there. And honestly I also felt stupid” he confesses. 

“What? Why?” I ask, furrowing my brows.

“Because I feel like you don’t tell me things? I don’t know, it feels like you're always walking on eggshells around me.” he explains. I widen my eyes at his words. What is he talking about?

“I don’t know what you mean” I say defensively. He scoffs.

“Right. I feel like you don’t tell me things about your past. Why is that?” 

“Because of how you’re acting now” I raise my voice.

“And how am I acting?”

“Like you’re accusing me of something!” I snap, tears in my eyes. This is escalating way too far. And I know it’s my fault: he’s trying to explain himself while I’m being all defensive. I can’t help it. I don’t want him to change his view of me, but I feel like I’m slipping away.

“Hey, kid, calm down” he mumbles.

“Don’t call me kid.” I hate when he does that. He rests his head against the seat and closes his eyes. I watch him, scared he’s had enough of me. 

“Matt…” I whisper to get his attention. I have to explain myself as well. “Sometimes… I’m ashamed. I don’t like some things I did when I was younger, I know they were careless. I didn’t want you to think less of me if you knew” I admit. He tilts his head in that sweet way of his, a small smile on his lips. “What?” I ask, baffled. He shakes his head. 

“C’mere” he murmurs, gesturing to come closer. Slowly, I climb over the console with his help and finally rest my legs on each side of his. He holds me by my waist and pulls me closer. I let him. 

“Sun, you need to stop doing this” he says distractedly, fingers tracing my hip bone. 

“Do what?” I ask, my eyes transfixed on his long fingers. 

“Assuming things about me. Thinking I’ll get tired of you just because you never shut up” I lift my head rapidly, ready to snap at him again that if he doesn’t like my yapping, he can always leave me, but I see him grinning widely as his fingers start to tickle me. 

I snort very unlady-like and try to free myself from his grasp, failing miserably when he stops my futile attempts by kissing me. I mumble something intelligible as his lips press against mine over and over again, effectively shutting me up. I sigh into the kiss as my arms wrap around his neck, my fingers toying with his soft hair. 

His hands never stop touching me: my shoulders, my neck, my back, until they rest again on my hips, his fingertips grazing my butt.

“Sleep with me tonight” He murmurs as he trails kisses down the column of my neck, his voice husky and his warm breath making me shiver.

“You don’t really wanna sleep at yours, right, pretty girl?” he asks, biting down my shoulder gently. I let out a whine at the pet name, shaking my head slowly. 

“I thought you had enough of me for the day” I admit pathetically. He tuts and shakes his head, a smirk on his lips. “You think a lot, don’t you?” he mocks me as one of his hands trails my chest, feather-like touch making me squirm. 

“Shut up” I breathe when he finally cups one of my breasts through my top, his fingers gently tracing my erect nipple. He laughs quietly, seeing the reaction he has on me. Then, after one last kiss to my lips, he lets go of me, leaving me hot and bothered while he seems completely fine and ready to drive back to his place. I try to even my breathing as I watch him, his expression betrays his controlled demeanor. He still has that damn smirk on him, he knows I can’t wait to get home. His hand rests on my thigh, squeezing it gently every once in a while. 

“I don’t think less of you, just so you know” He breaks the silence of the car ride. I don’t say anything, my hand placed over his. “I’m serious, sun. I just wanted to hear about your past from you, not someone else.” he explains. I nod, a big weight lifting from my shoulders. 

“I’m sorry I overreacted” I answer, feeling awful that my fears overpowered me tonight, clouding my sense of judgment.

“‘s fine” he smiles, patting my thigh. He parks the car and waits for me before walking towards his front door. His brothers are probably asleep by now, but we try to be quiet anyway. He opens the door for me and as I pass by him, I feel his hand slapping my ass quickly. I turn around to tell him to stop or else his brothers will wake up but in a second he’s on me: hands on my jaw to turn my face up as his lips slot over mine, his tongue sliding into my mouth. 

He effectively shuts up every protest I had, as I blindly walk back into his house, his sure steps guiding me. If he makes me trip I’ll seriously be pissed. But he doesn’t. I don’t even realize it but we’re in his room, the door locked behind us. 

He walks me towards his bed, trying at the same time to kiss me and to take off my top. He struggles a bit and I laugh, squeaking right after when he spanks me again. “Matthew, I swear if you don’t quit it-” 

“What? I’m curious, what will you do?” he asks as he finally manages to get my top out of the way. As always, his eyes trail down to my exposed chest. It doesn’t matter how many times he sees me, he always acts like it’s the first time. I blush at his serious gaze, my hands trailing on his waist to get rid of his sweater as well. 

“Cat got your tongue?” He laughs teasingly and I scoff, my hand pushing his chest away from me. He doesn’t let me get far though as his arms lift me off the ground making me yelp. A second later, my back meets the softness of his dark sheets, him soon following after me.

“Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen” he mumbles under his breath, making me squirm under him.

“Come here” I urge him, my arms pulling him down towards me. He lets me, his hot lips peppering my face with kisses making me giggle and turn away from him. “Stop!” my laugh turns into a whine when he presses his hips against mine, making me feel how hard he actually is and effectively changing the mood. I try to breathe normally as I spread my legs to give him room, my skirt rising up on its own accord. Matt pushes it out of the way so that my panties are on full display for his hungry gaze. 

“Let’s see...” He mumbles as his fingers trace the cotton material. He looks up at me in mock surprise. “Who made you this wet?” he asks, voice husky. 

“Bloody Santa Claus” I joke, rolling my eyes. He doesn’t smile, though, just shakes his head.

“Do I have to gag you?” He asks rhetorically. I shake my head, giggling. “Sorry, my love” he smiles softly at the pet name and moves his hand under my panties, making me gasp at the sudden gesture. My breath speeds up as his agile fingers find my clit easily, making small quick circles just the way I like it. 

I moan wantonly as I try to keep my eyes open to watch him, on his knees between my legs with his hair now messy from my fingers. His other hand slowly caresses my face, his thumb on my bottom lip, making me slightly open my mouth. I kiss his digits one by one and take his thumb in my mouth, sucking it gently and hollowing my cheeks a bit, my eyes staring directly at his.

“Fuck” He groans at the sight, one of his fingers probing at my entrance.

“‘Gotta stretch you out a bit, pretty girl” He informs me like I’m not aware of the fact I need some preparation to be able to take him. I nod furiously as his long finger enters me slowly, making me get used to the sensation before starting to move in and out of me. Soon it’s two fingers, all the while his thumb never stopped working on my clit. I grab his biceps as I try to muffle my moans of pleasure.

“Matt, please…” I whimper, eyes screwed shut as I feel the coil on my stomach grow more and more, my legs moving uncontrollably.

“What do you need?” He asks me, his lips next to my ear as he keeps his ministrations going. He’s trying to sound calm but his cock pressing up against my thigh lets me know how excited he actually is.

“You know what I need” I breathe as he pumps his fingers faster.

He furrows his brows and I can sense what he’s thinking. Before I can say anything, he stops his movements, his fingers still inside me. I whine disappointed. “Why did you stop?” I ask, trying to move my hips up to gain some friction. 

“You didn’t answer me, so I just figured I had to stop” he teases me, making me roll my eyes. He wants to hear me beg.

“Come on, my love, please” I say sweetly, lifting my head up to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I need you” I pant to his ear. “I was so close” and I end it all biting his lobe, knowing this would send him to another planet. He gasps, his fingers give an involuntary thrust that makes me squeal. 

“Yeah?” He asks gruffly. I hear the sound of a zip as he shimmies his pants down his legs until he kicks them away. My hands immediately go to his hips, still covered by his boxers. One trails to the front, where his dick is hard and aching. He must be uncomfortable, restrained like that: I decide to be kind and help him, taking his cock out of its confines. Matt lets out a breath of relief as I start to steadily stroke his length. 

He slowly lowers his hips to mine and slots his cock between my folds, making me gasp when his tip hits my clit repeatedly as his hips rock back and forth. I raise my legs and interlock them behind his back, pulling him flush against me. 

“Matt, I want it” I moan breathlessly, my hands on his hair.

“Yeah? Want my cock in your pretty pussy?” he asks me, panting slightly from the stimulation. I nod furiously, not wanting to wait anymore.

“See? It was easy to admit” Before I can think of some snarky remark, he aligns his cock with my center and slowly pushes in, effectively making me forget anything I was about to say. 

I feel him stretching me out so good, and I try to relax my muscles to ease his access. Matt’s brows are furrowed in concentration. Even with our banter, he’s always very attentive not to hurt me. I smile fondly at his expression and kiss his forehead, making him halt for a moment, his eyes bright. 

“I’m so in love with you” I whimper sincerely, taken by sudden emotion. He smiles back and kisses my lips slowly, his hips starting to move. I whine into the kiss, my hips lifting up trying to be at his same pace. His arms cage me and I feel so safe, so happy to be with him, in his bed.

“You have no idea how much I adore you” He moans against my shoulder, his hips going faster and faster, making my head spin. His hand slips down to play with my clit once again, making me see stars. My legs tremble once again around him, a tell tale of the fact I’m about to cum.

“Will you come around my cock, pretty girl?” he pants as he doubles his efforts to get me there. I moan in response and he laughs, kissing my temple.

“Come on, baby, I know you’re there. Wanna feel you” he mutters, and I know he’s close as well. With one last hard thrust I feel my orgasm crash through me, my whines muffled by Matt’s mouth on mine. 

“Shit. Squeezing me so tight” he groans, and I feel his dick twitch inside me as he lets out a long moan. He stills his movements when he comes, his eyes screwed shut as I hug him tightly against my chest, praising him in his ear. He tries to even his breathing as I trace patterns on his back, and we both lay silently on his bed in complete bliss. 

Some time later he slowly pulls out of me, making me shiver slightly. He grabs a glass of water from his bedside table and offers it to me, and I gladly accept it, gulping it down. We set under the covers, his head on my chest and his arms around me. 

He laughs suddenly. “What?” I ask, confused. He smirks, looking up at me. 

“Who would have guessed the only way to shut you up was to fuck you?” He asks proudly.

“Matthew I swear to God-”

a/n: feedback is greatly appreciated! :)

[shaiyasstuff]

hellow^^ idk how this request thingy works but i’d like to ask for the fluffiest cutest fluff of how the lads men will react to mc being a bit bold(??) like trying to hold hands with them something like that, considering that mc is a shy person? sorry for this😭😭 this has been bugging me for like a week now and i just want to satiate this need of mine hehehwhahsgsg

also, it’s actually me being shy to my bf even after a year of dating and i still get shy with holding hands and everything with him😭😭 i love caleb A LOT😔😔🫰🏻 sorry again, tmi i guess😭😭😭

omg i would love love LOVE to write this for you! sksks that is so cute?? i’m actually quite the extrovert myself so seeing really shy people sometimes baffles me XD i decided to write this in a more comedic tone because i find that it really starts getting you giggly sksksk tell me if you don’t like it though🥹

here is your request written beloww (unfortunately i do not write for caleb at the moment, forgive me? :<)

Had this request since forever, i’m sorry it took so long :p

Rafayel

You didn’t mean to do it.

It just kind of… happened.

One minute, you were staring at your laptop screen, chewing your thumbnail like it owed you money, and the next minute your pinky was just… there.

Sitting next to his. Touching. Breathing the same air.

You immediately wanted to die.

Abort. Abort. Emergency.

But Rafayel had already noticed. Of course he had. Because the universe was cruel and Rafayel was worse.

“…Y/N,” he said, slowly. Like you were a wild animal. Like he was trying not to scare you off. “Are you… are you trying to hold my hand right now?”

“No,” you said immediately.

“But your finger—”

“It slipped.”

“Your entire hand is slipping.”

“I’m testing gravity.”

He blinked at you. Then blinked again. Then full-body collapsed onto the floor like his soul had been forcibly ejected.

“I’m gonna die,” he announced from the floorboards. “This is it. I’ve seen heaven and it’s pinky-first hand-holding.”

You covered your face. “Please shut up before I actually ascend out of shame.”

He peeked up at you with the gentlest smile you’d ever seen him make. It made your stomach somersault like a traumatized gymnast.

“I’m not making fun of you,” he said softly. “I’m just—really happy you touched me first. Even if you did it like you were defusing a bomb.”

You didn’t reply. You were too busy malfunctioning

Zayne

It took you an hour to decide.

You stared at his hand on the armrest like it was a medieval relic. He wasn’t even paying attention.

Just watching a video, arms crossed, frown in place. Classic.

You, on the other hand, were over here doing breathing exercises like you were prepping for a hostage negotiation.

Okay.

You could do this.

You very, very slowly reached out. Your fingers hovered above his like a crane game, shaking slightly. You were sweating. This was fine.

And then—just barely—you touched the side of his hand.

He flinched like you’d tazed him.

You yanked your hand back like you’d been caught trying to steal government secrets. “S-sorry—I—I didn’t mean—!”

He turned his head so fast you thought you heard a vertebrae crack.

“You were trying to hold my hand.”

“No! I mean yes—I mean not in a weird way—I just—” You were halfway to curling into yourself like a shy little bug.

Zayne stared. His ears red.

Then—slowly, rigidly—he reached over and took your hand. Very carefully. Like it was made of glass and explosives.

“…Next time,” he muttered, still looking straight ahead, “just do it.”

You nodded, eyes wide.

“Don’t make that face,” he added, glancing at you. “I didn’t hate it.”

Your heart did a full backflip into a vat of molten embarrassment.

“…I’m gonna go scream into a pillow,” you whispered.

“Do it later. I’m not letting go.”

Sylus

It was fine.

Everything was fine.

You were just sitting next to Sylus on a rooftop. Casual. Chill.

No thoughts. No anxiety.

Definitely not staring at his hand resting by his thigh like it was the holy grail.

Nope. Not you.

You were normal. Totally not planning an emotional ambush. Not at all.

You were. Obviously.

You scooted an inch closer. Then another.

Then—half an inch, just for good measure.

Your pinky hovered next to his like a drone on low battery.

Your heart was sprinting.

Your soul had already left the building.

Just do it. Just hold his hand. It’s not illegal. You won’t die.

You might die. But in a cute way.

You reached out.

Your fingers brushed his hand.

Then you froze.

Like a raccoon caught in the headlights. Staring. Horrified.

Sylus glanced down immediately. Then up.

You felt his eyes on your face like a heat sensor. You could feel him trying to process it.

“You okay?” he asked, voice low and so casual it made it worse.

You made a noise that sounded like a cross between a squeak and a power outage.

Sylus blinked. Slowly. Dangerously.

“…Were you trying to hold my hand?”

You instantly pulled your hand back like it had betrayed national security. “N-no—I mean—I was just stretching—like—finger yoga—”

“Finger yoga,” he repeated, deadpan.

You nodded, face burning. Your entire nervous system was filing for divorce.

He didn’t speak for a second. Just watched you. Unreadable. Then—

“Come here.”

Your soul ascended.

But before you could combust entirely, he reached over and—gently, deliberately—took your hand in his.

Fingers cool, firm. Careful. His palm fitting against yours like it was meant to be there.

You short-circuited. Fully.

“I was wondering how long it’d take you,” he said, voice low and just a little amused. “Didn’t want to scare you off.”

You stared at your hands. Then at the skyline. Then back to your hands.

You were never speaking again.

“…You’re still shaking,” he murmured, thumb brushing over your knuckles.

“I—I’m fine,” you managed. Barely.

“You’re adorable.”

You died. Right there. On that rooftop.

Sylus just smiled to himself and didn’t let go.

Xavier

You had rehearsed it in your head.

Five times. Okay, fifteen. Whatever. You had a plan.

You were going to accidentally reach for the popcorn bowl on the same side he was sitting, and your hand would maybe land near his. Just near.

Not even touching.

Just close enough to give yourself a heart attack.

So, of course, what actually happened was this:

You reached for the bowl.

You missed.

You smacked his hand.

And then. You panicked and just grabbed it.

Full-on, uncoordinated finger spaghetti.

“Oh,” Xavier said.

You didn’t speak. Couldn’t.

Words had abandoned you. Your mouth made a sound somewhere between a squeak and a dying phone battery.

His thumb brushed against your knuckles. Slowly. Deliberately.

“You’re trembling,” he said, voice low, warm.

You wished for the sweet release of spontaneous combustion.

“I—I didn’t—s-sorry—I wasn’t—I was just—snack—popcorn—”

“You’re adorable,” he said gently.

You made a noise. It wasn’t human.

“I mean it,” he added, quietly, like he was afraid to scare you off. “It means a lot. That you tried.”

You didn’t answer.

You just nodded and looked at the wall like it had personally challenged you to a duel.

[likelysobbing]

hiiiii can u do kk dating hcs please? btw you’re a really good writer!!!

𖥻 TRU-LY FRU-ITY. kk arnold x lowkeynpc!reader headcanons ! !!

synopsis: sol yaps about an npc reader and kk fallign inlove because sol loves kk so much to the point if she doesn’t watch herself (she does) it’s borderline parasocial. thx. kk dating headcanons but indepth.

notes: dawg i went crazy on this sorry about that nonnie i didn’t mean to make u wait so long… love u, btw. thank u so much 🤍 also that title was the only one i could think off STOP IT its so cute isnt it its SO cute

cw: it goes first meeting -> when kk and reader realize they’re inlove -> confession -> ACTUAL dating headcanons. i make stupid references to old lives. npc!reader is default reader because i want to keep this as general as possible. this is not proofread. i use 😝 emoji alot. also, i am crazy. OK LET’S GET IT STARTEDD 📣📣📣

let’s set the stage— say, you’re here, you’re queer, even—and you’re a student at uconn. but that’s… lowkey it. you’re a student at uconn, nothing particularly spectacular—you study, maybe you go out for drinks if you’re feeling a little brave, you do what you need to do to live. every day was routine—wake up, go with the flow, go to bed. you were fine with that. it just meant you … protected your peace too hard, and that’s a good thing! nothing’s out to get you, because half the time no one’s able to pair your face to a name. your life? it’s peaceful!

and then you happened to see kamorea ‘kk’ arnold drop a pen while she was walking through campus.

she was joking around with her friends, jumping around, acting silly, and forgot that her backpack was open. she was lucky she didn’t drop anything else. you happened to have seen that pen drop out of her bag, and initially you were going to ignore it. you wanted to get to class early, and maybe returning a pen to one of the most notorious extroverts on campus (who, even worse, has NOT seen your face) wasn’t a good idea if you wanted to be smart with your time.

and you didn’t know what came over you, but you picked up the pen and walked straight to her. she was mid-laugh when you tapped her shoulder, and she turned. “oh—“ she flinched, turning to you and muttering a small “yo.”

immediately, kk checked you out. and not in the way one usually would (the way you wished she was checking you out), but in a who-are-you-you’re-so-socially-dead-i-can’t-even-remember-your-face way. to spare yourself the small talk, you wasted no more time— “your pen,” you said, handing her her writing utensil. she looked at the pen as if it was suddenly spouting ink, blinking slowly. when she looked up? you were already walking away.

so basically, it was all the pen’s doing.

ever since that faithful encounter, it’s safe to say that kk began noticing you more. once just a blur of features in a crowd full of faces, you’re now the one she sees first. she sees you more often, and realizes that you’re in a lot of the same places at the same time. that intrigues her.

ice says something about it when she talks about you; they’re in the basketball facility warming up with the rest of the team, stretching a bit— making light, funny conversation on the way. the topic of people gets brought up, and kk mentions you. she’s yapping, “it’s like, she’s a whole wallflower or something—but she got friends! she got friends. just not a lot. and i been seeing her around lately, and we’re in alot of the same places so i’m like?? why i ain’t seen her here before?? so now im just wonderin’ what her deal is.” meanwhile, ice side-eyes her.

“have you talked to her yet?” ice asks, and the team looks to kk… who doesn’t even wanna talk no more after that.

eventually, she does end up talking to you. this time, she sees you drop your pen and comes running up to you—she sees an opportunity, but all you see is.. just her. and her eyes twinkling brighter than usual.

“yo, you dropped your pen this time,” she laughed, and you smiled awkwardly, gave her a little “thank you” and expected it to be done just like that.

it wasn’t.

you walked away and she ran to your side, and then she just… started talking. she didn’t even introduce herself formally. she just said ‘i’m kk, by the way,’ which wasn’t a problem, because you already knew she was more than that. this was kamorea arnold. uconn basketball star, the lovely little burst of energy, the happy little—aaandd she just stumbled on the shell of a snail.

“oh, i’m sorry y’all— sorry y’all, sorry y’all—“

you didn’t even know who she was talking to. there was only you and the snail. and then you realized she was talking to you and the snail, which is why she was saying ‘y’all’.

and that was when you knew you were in for it. and… lowkey into her.

okay set up done!

kk and you really hit it off. turns out, you didn’t need to speak much for her to speak. kk just needed to know you were listening. and you showed her you did— you hummed at the right time, you laughed at the funniest jokes, you grinned in confusion when she spoke about basketball (which led to a very passionate ramble about basketball), you gasped at every twist, you did all the right things—but …

pair kk’s lovely personality, her beautiful laugh, her eagerness to speak to you and just… her in her entirety? banger combination.

you did all the right things, but you fell at the wrong time. you fell hard, for her.

you didn’t know she fell harder.

like, literally and figuratively. i think it’d be funny that kk once thought her eyes lingering too long on your lips, her hands twitching to hold your own or to even touch your skin was completely borne of platonic attraction or festering romantic attraction that she could move on from. her epiphany that she is inlove with you comes during half time. she’s in the zone, sipping from her lil water bottle, and then she finds her eyes wandering throughout the stands. she doesn’t know why— she just finds herself looking for a certain… devoted pen returner. she realizes you’re not there, and that you’re probably studying, and that makes her pout.

she wants your eyes on her. she wants you to look at her, to see her in her element, maybe to see her catch a little attitude—but she wants you to see her. she wants you to see her!

or maybe she just wants you.

it’s something she comes to terms with in the middle of a crowd so loud that the voice in her head can’t echo against it’s confines. she wants you. it’s clear, resolute—and absolutely exhilarating.

it horrifies her, don’t get her wrong; she didn’t see it coming, nor did she expect it to be so strong the moment she realized, but that’s also whats so exhilarating. love is so unexpected!

regardless, even with all her spunk, kk hesitates. she doesn’t necessarily stop yapping your ear off, but it’s like her words get more calculated—she pauses more, and when you look to see if she is still mentally present, you find yourself locking eyes with her before she shakes her head and talks about another topic. you catch her staring a good twenty or more times in the span of three days and you start to get a little… suspicious…

but you stay, anyway. because why wouldn’t you? she’s cool.

she’s so cool.

and then the sun so bright happens.

it’s not anything big—it happened so spontaneously; kk didn’t plan anything. as soon as you asked why she was even here, it just slipped out. and it worked.

kk asked you to be her girlfriend with a hand on top of yours and what might have been the first shy smile you ever saw from her. she said, and i quote, “so are we… you know like, you know..” and you just had to tilt your head and make her say it.

“bro. bro—“ this girl is such a wuss she can’t even look you in the eye and yet…

“no, no because— what are we? what do you want us to be?” you STAY insufferably oblivious on PURPOSE lmfao.

“broOohmygee… can i . be your girlfriend.”

“of course, k.”

BOOM SHAKALAKA YES LORD YOU BAGGED FYNE SHYTTT 😝 now onto the actual dating headcanons!!

early into the relationship she starts out how she treated you whilst you were still friends, but with the little quirk that you’re going out on dates now, she grins whenever she talks about you to a degree it’s concerning, and she invites you out to her games. and she’s also shy when it comes to romantic affection.

but let’s say you’re long past that awkward phase now.

kk’s an extrovert, always jumping around from place to place—sharing laughter with people, filming tiktoks, living her best life. she’s also, lowkey, famous. there is not a game in which she isn’t signing someones shirt after, and you know because you’ve checked. meanwhile, you are just a student trying to get by at uconn…

but! to kk, you’re everything. it’s why no matter how extroverted she is, if you’re more on the introverted side—she’d love you all the same and adapt to your needs; need to leave a party? done, maybe kk will stay back a bit—you understand she needs to have her fun— but she’ll call an uber for you, keep updates on your location via the life 360 circle you guys have labelled ‘completely platonic relationship’ (you do not have a completely platonic relationship).

she’s quite protective—she doesn’t keep her eyes off the life 360 map until she sees you’ve arrived back at the dorms (which she, silly as she is, has labelled as ‘homebase’ in your circle). whenever you’re out, kk texts you at random times to see if you’re still out there and safe. it’s not even a ‘proof of life?’ sometimes its just a picture of the tru fru she got and all you really need to do is respond “yummy”

she always has a hand on you. waist, hips, shoulder, back of your neck, whatever it is— she has to feel you next to her when she knows you’re next to her. she’ll be on her phone in one hand, and you’ll be leaning into her shoulder and she just pulls you in closer (#nonchalant while doing it to. but in her head she’s going hehehehehehhehe😝😝)

outside of that she’s not all that affectionate. she’ll have a hand on your waist, but its really all about whether or not you lean in. she’ll always reciprocate your affection but won’t make a move to initiate it in public. in private, however, you know this girl lays on top of you and sleeps. she don’t move. she’s on top of you, in a star fish position, with her eyes closed.

in private she’s all hugs and making grabby hands at you because she can get a bit needy. she’ll probably do random things to catch your attention, and then just ask for a kiss when she has you.

“kk, what the hell—“ you jumped, eyes widening at the sudden influx of tru fru bags on your bed. kk shrugged, unblinking before crawling onto your bed herself, “they were on sale.” she murmured, “‘kay,” before inching closer to you—“give me kisses.”

i feel like kk would also spoil you but in the stupidest way. like you guys would genuinely get into arguments over who would pay and kk would be breaking her wrist pushing your hand down and forcing the cashier to take her cash.

“come on, kk, you paid last time—“

“i don’t REMEMBER. last time. …. let me pay.”

and sometimes she will literally shove your hand back onto your side and slam her card/ cash down onto the register. im not playing. like she doesnt even fight you on it the moment you try to take out your wallet she grips your wrist and pays before you can even get money out

but don’t get me wrong— kk likes to be pampered. sometimes she’ll let you pay—when she does, she sticks her tongue out and giggles and kicks her feet like 😝😝😝 ayeeeeeee…… or sometimes she does that little thing where she gives you a backhug and kisses your cheek do you people know what im talking about. its so funny to me. shes like ‘thank you🥰’

but she prefers to be pampered in a different way! she likes to be considered, for lack of a better word. she likes it when you give her the warm-hot cookies from crumbl because you know she doesn’t like cold cookies, she likes when you leave her tru fru ALONE, she likes when you come to her games and do your best to get a front row seat — she looooves. LOVES. when you consider her, and what she might want. everytime she sees you she’s like that one “ariana what are you doing here ?! 😆” meme shes so jolly my woman bro my woman

also she probably refers to you as ‘my baby’, or ‘my girl’, or maybe like ‘my lady’ if she’s feelin’ a bit lovey dovey. if we’re talking about endearments, i don’t think kk would be a ‘ma’ or ‘mama’ girl. she’d be like, ‘bae’, ‘baby’, ‘schnookums’, ‘pookie!’ even. sometimes when she’s soft she’ll call you ‘lover’. in terms of what you call her, there’s the obvious ‘kk’ and what other usual endearments you use, but kk melts whenever you use ‘baby’ I KNOW IT I KNOW IT GUYS IM PUSHING THE ‘kk loves being babied’ AGENDA LEAVE ME ALONE

the type of girlfriend to put bunny ears behind your head during photos and make you look goofy. she says you look cute, but you’re always cute to her so don’t trust that

the type of girlfriend to point at you whenever she scores a point. also the type of girlfriend to point at you whenever she thinks she’s about to score, and if she misses she’s like… “i’ma walk that off, y’all… i’ma walk that off…”

she’s so lovely 💔

she doesn’t necessarily speak ABOUT you a lot to the team, but she makes such frequent references she might as well just ramble about you forever. she genuinely doesn’t mean to. you’re like the only thing constantly on her mind. i know paige grills her for it too zon’t play… also, ICE. ice gets at her for it. everyone bugs her in their own ways because they don’t know you personally so they’re like “who’s she? who’s your girl?” and kk’s like “my girl’s my girl…? duh”

“you really can’t go a day without yappin’ about her huh, kk?” paige drawled, slumping against the gym bleachers as she nodded towards uconn’s #2, who was … minding her business. prior to the statement, paige was simply talking about how hot it was outside, and how connecticut is never usually this hot and ‘that says a lot’ and miss kamorea arnold just butts in like: “my girl said it was really hot out too. that’s why i decided to go light on my fit, if that’s the right word. light .. or like whatever y’all wanna call it…”

it’s ALWAYS an ‘oh, my girl—‘ with her i swear. but! despite their annoyance with kk always mentioning you, the team meeting you would be a fun event! trUST. trust. truuust. no teasing whatsoever involved.

— on kk’s mood swings or sadder moods, she wouldn’t wanna go to you at first, scared that you might end up making it worse without meaning to or she’ll say something out of pocket, but the moment you come to her alone, when she tries to isolate herself? when you open your arms and just walk towards her? when she finds herself melting into you, hands on your hips, lips to the space between your shoulder and neck and there is just love and nothing but love in the air? regardless of whether you say something to her or not, you didn’t even have to say anything. you don’t need to. kk still knew then. you got her locked in with you, and hard.

kk always seems to shine a little brighter with you. (haha reference to my old fic im hilarious)!

the publicity of the relationship? not very public. infact it’s giving private but not secret. she doesn’t post you lots but she tags you enough for the fandom to know shes off the market fs. i feel like kk, as silly and goofy as she is, is a very private person and this would extend towards you. it’s like she doesn’t put you in the spotlight because she doesn’t want to overwhelm you with the sting of the light.

but that’s okay, because kk’s your sunshine, and so long as she keeps her own light— her own hands— on even a patch of your skin? aslong as you’re still hers? there is no doubt in your, or her, mind that together is what you are meant to be, and here— whereever here is— is where you are meant to stay.

tl;dr sol loves kk so bad

@likelysobbing.

[funlovinzara]

The unexpected hangout

𝐼 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓈 𝓂𝑒

(Music is intended to be played in the story, wear headphones <3) (long fic)

I grew up in this town for as long as i can remember, i wasn’t introverted, but i wasn’t an extrovert either. I spoke when i had to, leaving me with a group of friends here and there. Beginning high-school was another story, i still had my small group of friends including this one girl Momo. I don’t exactly know how i became friends with her but shes been the friendliest since i could remember.

But i find myself drowning in the sinkhole of over working, and i think she could tell because she recommended a sleepover/hangout with another one of her friends that she thought i would like. Momo is the only one i can truly be myself around so how can i expect her friend to even like me. I open to learning many subjects, although i don’t pick a favorite i like things about conspiracies or random theories to keep me up thinking.

My phone dings with a message, its from Momo

Momo👻: I’ll be at your place around 7! My friend is still coming over, trust me you and him are going to be great friends.

Me: Him? He’s a guy? You must be setting something up

Momo👻: Well I’m just saying if things between you guys progress than it is what it is but thats NOT what I’m trying to do at all🤣

Me: What if he’s really rude or something i cant handle more stress I’m too tired for this, if i wanted to have a guy friend then i would have asked.

Momo👻: No he’s not like that he’s a total nerd, he would never do anything harmful. Ive been friends with him for awhile, i talk to him about aliens and stuff all the time

Me: What makes you think i wanna deal with boys at all. I’ll try to be friends with him i guess but if he does anything that i can’t respect he’s getting out of my home

Momo👻: Alrightt no need to be so stuck up, your stressed just relax for a bit.

I stare up at the starry night and then bring my eyes to the clock, Momo is a few minutes late. But as a coincidence, she knocks at my door as soon as i have that thought. I go down the stairs to see her open the door, hmm must have been unlocked, but i remember locking.

Maybe i should be nice, ill try my best too. I mean she wasn’t worried about him or anything. Momo swings the door open giving me a big hug, i look behind her to see a boy. We make eye contact and he looks away timidly and fiddles with his hair. Momo knew i had a thing for nerds, she’s definitely setting something up.

(I was a little scared to introduce myself though…)

“This is my friend i told you about, his name is okarun!!”

He looks back up shyly, extended his hand to give me a hand shake. I give him a handshake back, flashing the tiniest smile to show the least bit of comfort. He steps closer to me to whisper something quiet enough not for Momo to hear

“M—my name is actually Ken takakura…” I nod my head to make sure Momo doesn’t think anything is up, i wonder why she calls him Okarun though. Momo yawns making her way to the living room and into the kitchen, opening the fridge to look for her favorite drink i usually keep at my place.

“Hey…y/n you don’t have any more of that drink..”

“Sorry, I’ll buy some more soon.” She walks back over to the entrance of the home where me and Ken were still standing awkwardly “its alright, speaking of which, the gas station is only a 5 minutes walk from here. I’ll go run and buy some!! My grandma gave me some money incase i wanted to get snacks!”

I look at her in despair. I whisper yell at her before she walks out the door “You’re leaving??!? Now???! Me alone with a boy??!!”

“Cmonn I’m gonna be back I’ll make it quick.” She gives me a sly wink before shutting my own door at my face. I turn around slowly, lifting my head up to look at Ken embarrassingly. He was looking at me but he shifted his gaze to some random spot in the house. I didn’t want to stand here forever..

“We can just go to my room for now while we wait…”

I guide him up the stairs towards my room, i leave background music playing to calm me and i accidentally forgot to turn it off. We enter my room and his eyes lighten up like a puppy. I had a fluffy rug, thick bed sheets many tiny figures and posters, with a neat desk and dim lights. He felt a comforting feeling as he heard the music that was left playing.

He looks around and he notices i have a book on my desk titled “conspiracy’s and theories #1: Aliens? Are they real?” I sat on my bed and i saw him approach the book for a closer inspection, his eyes glow as he looks up at me.

He realizes he touched something without asking and he places the book down quickly while fiddling with his hair again and re-adjusting his glasses. He looks down at the floor in embarrassment with a blushing face.

“I have the same book..d—do you like…aliens..?”

My goodness he is so cute. I snap out of my daydreaming after staring at him.“Well…i like reading about them. They seem cool to me and i like the unknown. I watch a-lot of documents.”

He looks up at me, with his hand still in his hair. “Do you know anything about…UAP’s and UFO’s..? I softly replied, “Yes i do read about them a little.” His eyes were in full on dull mode, he was so ready to rant. I realized he was still standing, and i was on my bed. He’s not a bad guy at all, he’s just really shy, well— so am i.

I pat the spot next to me signaling him to sit down next to me. I try to get more comfortable, i sat in a criss cross position. He looks at me with his face flushing again and he slowly makes his way to the bed, he sat in the same criss cross position facing me. His hand still in his hair obviously, his head down, he muttered…

“There have been many sightings of aliens..I—I’ve done alot of research. I should have brought my b—books but i thought that you weren’t really going to like….me..”

“Oh, i thought the same about you…that you were going to be kind of rude to me. But you like the same things as me.”

He hesitantly brings his head up to make eye contact with me, his face a pink tone due to the blush. My open window blows a cool air into the room, moonlight hitting his eyes and shining them. I avert my gaze to him to see him pondering into my eyes, his lips part as he was going to say something until we could hear the door open. It was Momo, that was really quick.

We rush back downstairs to see her with multiple bags, more than what she said she was going to buy. “Oh man, i really should have called you!! They had an amazing deal and i got so many snacks for half off!”

Me and Ken look at each-other, we slightly giggle at the goofiness of Momo. Momo ran up the stairs and came back down with a giant blanket from my closet, she places it on the couch with the snacks she bought on the table

“Cmon guys let’s watch a movie!!” I sat down with Ken trying not to be to close to make me uncomfortable, through out the movies we watched i could feel him land his attention on me. But he was very slick with it, i could hardly tell.

At the end of the night after all the movies, Momo and Ken helped clean up. Momo grabbed all of her belongings and so did Ken and they were about to leave. “Bye y/n! See you tomorrow!!”

“B—bye…” i didn’t want it to end like this… “Okarun.” He turns around and looks at me with confusion and a bit of fluster. “Could I see your phone for a sec?” He hands me his unlocked phone and i quickly type my number and my name into a new contact space and hand him his phone back. He looks at what I’ve done and his face goes from pink to a rose red. He looks up at me like his face was about to explode

It seems like he wanted to say thank you, but Momo pulled him out of the door in a hurry. The door shut on me again, but instead..i don’t feel lonely anymore. I feel a warmth entered my soul.

We could be friends…

This took forveerrr please but i love this alot like i really wanted to get the emotion in here😭🫶🏾

[pauline-sunshine]

Suchwidate

Part 1, Part 2

Part 3

Pairing: Min Yoongi x female actress reader

Summary: After being a guest on Suchwita something bloomed

Genre: fluff (like tooth rotting fluff…I warned you), slow-burn (maybe?)

Warnings: cringe awkward flirting, they are shy and idiots but kinda adorable

Word count: 1,2k

Author’s note: I apologize for any errors! English is not my first language. Sorry, it took me so long to write it, had an existential crisis… Two more parts are left! Thank you so much for reading, for reacting!! You are the best!!!

The room was crowded. Everyone seemed to be having a great time except you. You felt like a doll that had to be perfect, had to be liked by everyone you were introduced to in order for them to be interested in you. That’s what you’ve been told to do. Stealing glances across the room and exchanging smiles with Yoongi were the only things that were saving you but even this wasn’t helping at some point.

Yoongi looked around the room another time to catch a glimpse of you but he didn’t succeed.

“Hey, have you guys seen Y/N?” Yoongi asked and all of them started to look around. “I think I saw her talking to one of directors…”

“Go find her!” Jimin encouraged him. Yoongi looked a little bit hesitant because he didn’t want to let his friends alone in case someting happened.

“Seriously, just go! If anything, we will cover up for you. Go!” Jimin slightly pushed his back so Yoongi would move.

‘Y/N this, Y/N that, Y/N let me introduce you to…’ your mind was racing and replaying bits of endless interactions you’ve just had. The hardest thing for extrovert is the desire to be liked by everyone, and sometimes it just gets too much… and right now was exactly that moment. You liked being around people, it was a part of your job, but when you felt the pressure to please everyone you meet, to make a good impression, it got harder to be in the lime light. So you thought of nothing better but to escape. You’ve hidden in an empty hallway, the light was dim and good enough to give you an opportunity to pass some time unnoticed. You were blindly staring at the floor, going in circles, trying to calm down the nerves until you’ve hit a wall, or at least it seemed like it.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” You moved your head up and realized that “the wall” you hit was actually Yoongi.

“You shouldn’t be here all by yourself. Are you okay?” he frowned.

“What- me? Uh, I’m just tired, I didn’t want to be there. What are you doing here?” you were drenched in your worries and that obviously influenced your mood.

“I just thought… you’d like some company. Tell me what happened.” he led you to a small sofa in a corner.

“I don’t know,” you let out a big sigh as you sat down. “Sometimes it just feels so overwhelming to be around people. I’m sorry that you have to see me like this… again.” Indeed, it was the second time he was there for you when you needed help.

“Don’t apologize, Y/N, it’s okay, I can sit here with you for as long as you’d like.”

“I think I don’t feel like talking right now,” you admitted. Yoongi nodded, understanding without judgment.

“It’s fine…” he hesitated for a moment, “I crave your attention, but I crave your silence even more.” He whispered shyly. If the light was brighter, you would be able to see his blushed cheeks.

Your palms were slightly touching but neither of you moved them away. For some time the space was filled with echoing sounds from the party and silence until the moment you suddenly bursted laughing. Yoongi gave you a concerned look.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just, uhm, I haven’t felt this introverted in a while,” you turned in hope to see if he remembered this phrase that he used on your first encounter. He did and the proof of that was a smile that appeared on his face. The slight tension between you disappeared. You felt better and he was the reason.

“Sorry, can I just,” you stretched your arms, “I was looking at it the whole evening. I wonder, why didn’t anyone tell you?” Yoongi eyes widened for a moment until he understood what you were doing.

“There you go,” you were very pleased with your work because now the man’s tie was fixed.

“So, you’re saying, my tie was a mess the whole time, not to mention a thousand photos were taken, and you’re telling me only now,” he wasn’t angry, he was teasing.

“Oh, please, no one noticed… except me, I guess.” You patted him on a shoulder.

All of a sudden he stood up. “Come walk with me. Let’s get some air.” He offered you his arm with a playful grin.

“Are you suggesting that we- oh, that’s wicked.” You placed your palm at his.”You know what, I trust you, Min Yoongi, with parts of myself I’m afraid to show anyone else. Beware, I might get used to this.” You uttered in a low flirty voice.

“Maybe, that is exactly what I’ve been plotting.” He responded in the same manner.

KBS Hall was left behind. You decided to head to the Seogang bridge.

You walked side by side, each step was like a reaction to the excitement bubbling just beneath the surface of a casual conversation. Wind was playing with your hair, fingers intertwined. Yoongi was gently stroking your palm with his thumb.

“Wow, I forgot how beautiful the night sky can be.” You looked up at the stars.

“It really is. Much better than whatever was happening back there.” Yoongi chuckled.

“Agh, don’t even bring that up!” You laughed.

“At least we made a great escape,” he was grinning.

“You’re just lucky I needed fresh air,” you playfully nudged him.

“Lucky? I’d say it’s destiny!” The mock seriousness in man’s voice made it sound even funnier.

“Destiny, huh? That’s a bold claim for a late night bridge stroll”. You raised your eyebrows.

“Just stating the facts.” He shrugged and continued with feigning nonchalance, “Besides, who else would I want to be here with?”

“Well, I’m glad it’s you. I feel like I can actually breathe out here.” You blushed slightly.

“Same here. It’s nice to just… be ourselves.” Yoongi glanced at you, his heart was racing.

“Exactly. No pressure, just us and the stars.” You smiled softly.

“You know, I’ve been thinking…” He paused and looked at you, “maybe we should do this more often?”

“I’d love that! Just us and the night.” Your eyes were sparkling just like stars from the night sky.

“And maybe someday we could make it a regular thing?” Yoongi asked hesitant but hopeful.

“It sounds perfect, Yoongi.” You felt your heart fluttering.

You shared a shy smile, both feeling the warmth of possibilities as you continued walking side by side. But Seoul wouldn’t be Seoul if it left you without a sudden shower. Laughter erupted as raindrops began to fall, adding a sense of spontaneity to the moment.

“Here, take it. No objections.” He took his jacket off.

“But you will get all wet.” You took a step back but he took two forward.

“And you won’t?” He gently put the jacket on your shoulders.

“You will get sick,” you parried.

“I won’t, and even if I get sick, I will survive.” He gave a playful grin, his hair already starting to dampen with the rain. “Let’s get you home. You must be tired from the night, and I don’t want you to catch a cold,” he said while taking you into his warm embrace.

[kifkay]

Winx & Specialists Dynamics that are so Precious to me

it makes sense that in the show, winx and their non-boyfriend specialists don’t interact much. but!! i’m very insane about codependent found families, and I want them all to love each other. so here’s my take on some tet-a-tet dynamics:

rare pairings:

Musa & Timmy: childhood frenemies. they used to go to the same middle school on Melody, and as type-A tweens do, had an intense, “you’re the only person I match myself to” kind of rivalry. they lost contact after Timmy moved away, chilled out considerably, reconnected in Alfea and had a wonderful banter-filled friendship since. because of how fast they slotted back into a friendship, some of their classmates genuinely thought they were siblings.

Tecna & Riven: got up from a rough patch. from “I dislike you but we both love Musa, so we have to be civil” to “you have more depths to you than I expected” to “now that I understand you, I can’t help but admire certain things about you” to “bitch, you are the only person who is as weird and clueless as I am, ARE YOU READY TO GO TO THE ARCADE AND ANNIHILATE KIDS FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES”

Flora & Brandon: little sister, older brother vibes. of similar temperaments and views, they enjoy spending time over a cup of tea — talking about everything and nothing. it’s therapeutic, almost.

(no one in the group knew that Brandon and Flo were good friends. once, when the two had to team up during a mission, Bloom couldn’t even finish saying: “it would be a good opportunity for you to get to know each ot-“, before the specialist-fairy duo were re-creating the most complicated and choreographed hand shake ever. jaws were on the floor.)

Aisha & Brandon: they are sporties, and they like doing sport things together! they don’t talk aside from exchanging brief encouragements and advice while out, preferring to spend their time in companionable silence. sorta like those dads who never talk to their buddies, but somehow have the strongest and longest bonds ever?

Helia & Bloom: artist besties. Bloom drags Helia out on picnics, where they practice observational drawing (and tiktok trends that Bloom desperately wants to reenact but none of the winx are good at arts); Helia responds by taking her out to see art museums in Magix. it’s a fun dynamic of Bloom being the bubbly gold retriever, and Helia being her black cat.

Tecna & Sky: they didn’t have much of a relationship until year 4. somehow, they both got really, intensely into weaponsmithing and built a joint workshop. they found that they enjoy working alongside each other and value each other’s insights. sky goes to tecna when he needs frank, un-sugarcoated advice, and tecna accompanies sky on hikes and other spirited adventures, for “bonding activities” (because he told her she doesn’t get out of her comfort zone enough). it’s a relationship of deep mutual respect.

Sky & Stella: childhood friends. they knew each other as children and enjoyed playing together (which is how Stella also knew Brandon pre-Red Fountaine). at least, until Stella was unofficially banned from Eraklyon because shenanigans, and they lost contact. they still jokingly call each other “My Lady” and “My Lord”.

Stella & Nabu. Both are flirty and extroverted people, who enjoy the spirit of showmanship. They have a friendly rivalry going of who can fluster the villain of the week the fastest.

canon bf-gf dynamics (dating in canon, open to interpretation otherwise):

Bloom x Sky: liked each other since the first meeting; bonded over being the friend group moms. (on unrelated note: bloom gentle parents her friends, while sky goes all exasperated cig mom on his team and repeats things like: “you better go to sleep right now, or so help me Dragon I will take away your Owl pilot privileges-“)

they are not the most outwardly affectionate couple of the winx, yet they are so wordlessly devoted to each other. sky will follow bloom to the ends of all dimensions, when she gets a calling from powers as mystical as she. bloom will always believe in him and see him as his own man, unlike the many who see him only as his father’s son. they were entwined by fate, long before one had met the other; yet, there’s the trust, the respect, the faith so strong — that could have only come from friendship forged and tested by fire.

Stella and Brandon: the hottest power couple; sole reason behind 60% of all student fairies/specialists/witches queer awakening.

they banter all. the. goddamn. time. these dorks are speaking a whole different language.

they are also most comfortable in each other’s company, being able to be their genuine, less polished selves. stella and brandon are both performers bred and born, playing the roles of a noble princess and a knight. it’s nice, to have a safe reprieve from all that acting.

Aisha and Nabu. their love was one that sneaked up on them. their distance, set by a discomfort at the idea of an arranged marriage, bridged as they transitioned from being reluctant comrades to friendly rivals to unwilling friends to best friends to “if someday the moon calls you by your name, don’t be surprised — because every night I tell her about you”

Tecna and Timmy: partners in crime, ride or die, sunny faith in each other — even when the other person doesn’t believe in themself. I have a whole post about them, go read that ;)

Flora and Helia: they are so. they are. they-

icons. the most romantic couple, the one that sets the standards, the one that gives their friends advice. they are extremely attentive to each other’s needs and tender with each other’s feelings.

flora can recite helia’s poems in her sleep, and trace his drawings with her eyes closed. helia brings mielle presents every time he stops by. flora has tea with helia’s dad every other tuesday; she keeps note of every time helia and saladin are supposed to meet up, to be able to whisk helia away after and distract him from his troubles. helia knows how to care of flora’s plants, and sends her lovingly assorted gift baskets semi-regularly.

Musa and Riven. their relationship is push and pull, is joy then sorrow.

it’s all in a drag of a cigarette, in the vortex of a starless night, in the hoarse laughter. “of all the people in the world, why did it have to be you?” she’ll say and smile.

“ I’m afraid we’re doomed, lover,” he’ll reply, faux-casually, and smile back. both of them will know it’s the truth.

their relationship was not built to last, not for the lack of love or try. maybe they were too similar — both headstrong, unbending, bleeding hearts. maybe they were just different enough not to understand their hurts. nevertheless, it was not built to last — but neither of them would ever bring to regret it. love prevails, no matter in what form in comes, or something like that.

[dat-town]

wanna be yours

Characters: down bad!Taesan & female reader

Setting & genre: friends to lovers, college au

Summary: Just Taesan going through it with his crush on you.

Warnings: stage names used, alcohol consumption (beer), shooting-related words but in laser tagging context, light swearing

Words: 3.6k

Author’s note: title from the arctic monkeys’ song aka the ultimate down bad song

@restlessmaknae, the thing is i needed something lighter after all that angst and i wanted to wish you merry xmas with something light and happy because i wish you all the best for the next year as well! i am so so proud of you and i told you that this year's time apart would be a preparation for next year! you won't get rid of me this easy though. love you, always! <3

It’s pathetic, really, Taesan thinks, when he immediately perks up as the pizza place’s door opens and he hears your laughter. He makes sure to mask his expression and with conscious effort at least he manages to relax his posture, melting into the fake leather seat of the corner diner before you get to the table.

Jaehyun greets everybody at the table loudly like always, with enthusiasm and no shame that Taesan could never phantom. You follow in suit, much less conspicuous, a wave and an easy smile, sliding into the booth right next to Sungho’s girlfriend. Taesan pretends to check something on his phone but he couldn’t even recall the time read on his screen because when he looks back up, he catches Hyein whisper something into your ear and you look up, straight at him with a smile tugging on the corner of your rosy, shiny mouth. Taesan briefly wonders about the taste of your gloss and if your lips are as soft as they look. Then he blinks and snaps out of it.

Embarrassment makes him flush anyway because please god, let it not be about him, whatever shit Hyein shared. Still, he tries to play it cool and instead of looking away like a coward, like how his first instinct is, he makes a show of raising an eyebrow in question as if taunting, challenging you. Hopefully, he manages to preserve his cool image this way.

What, he mouths and you silently giggle, eyes turning into crescents.

I will tell you later, you whisper back and Taesan hopes relief doesn’t flood his features. It wasn’t about him then.

You order a banana shake with choco chip cookies, your usual, because of course Taesan knows that. He knows an embarrassing amount of your likes for someone who is ‘not interested’ as he has been trying to convince Leehan almost as long as you have known each other.

Taesan still remembers how you came into his life: how quick, with a smile, like a breeze on a scorching summer day. Jaehyun invited you to this house party at his and Sungho’s place because of course, you were one of those friends Jaehyun made along the way with his ridiculously extroverted personality. It was a small flat, too small for so many people and Taesan was starting to regret deciding on this particular gray tee because he could feel sweat dripping down his neck. He needed some fresh air, so he stepped out to the balcony but you were already there nursing your cheap beer.

“Hey,” you turned to him with a smile, bright and friendly, and he just awkwardly stood there not sure whether he should have gone back and left you alone or that would have made things worse. “Taesan, right?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, still hovering by the door even though you didn’t seem bothered by his presence. He was just never really good at interacting with new people. Especially girls, more specifically pretty girls.

“I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself as if Jaehyun didn’t make sure previously to make it known like the loud nosy friend he was.

“I know,” Taesan nodded, having no idea what else to say. You didn't seem to mind as you just tilted your head with an amused smile and a quiet hum. Then you casually fixed your plaid shirt’s collar and Taesan, following your movements, noticed the graphic tee design underneath that overruled all his introvert tendencies.

“Oh. You like Nirvana too?” He blurted out, his music geek ass crawling out of his cave.

“Yeah, I grew up listening to my father’s LPs and CDs a lot,” you nodded and it broke the dam. You two still talked about favourite bands and songs, concerts you’ve been to and ones on your bucket lists when Sungho found you at 2AM and ushered you inside.

It could have been the start of something but Taesan isn’t delusional. You got along quickly with everybody, he isn’t anything special. You are easygoing and charming, of course everybody likes you and of course, you had a boyfriend. At least in the few months of your acquaintance you had. Taesan actually realized how screwed he was when he heard about your breakup and his first thought was how you deserved better, somebody who supported you and your interests unlike your snob ex. Maybe somebody like him.

The boy suddenly feels a light kick against his shin and it snaps him out of his thoughts. He’s ready to scowl at whoever thought it was funny to do that but then he catches the mischief in your eyes and his annoyance almost immediately disappears as he shares a look with you over the table, ignoring everybody else. Oh yeah, he’s so gone. He hopes he’s subtle enough though because he would sooner dig his own grave than have his friends tease him for his crush.

Taesan might be a masochist because he can’t make himself push you away. He’s generally good at keeping people an arm-length’s away. He’s reserved enough for people to think he’s not interested and they don’t bother to get to know him better. It has never seemed to be a problem for you, ever since that night you keep finding ways to him. You exchange music recommendations, complain about professors and assignments, laugh at Jaehyun’s scaredy cat ass during haunted house night. He listens to you talk about the pressure of being a good enough daughter for your high standard parents and how falling out of love felt; and you listen to his songs.

Maybe it’s your willing vulnerability that prompted Taesan to show you his music. He’s usually beyond cagey with his compositions, he doesn’t even show them to Jaehyun and Woonhak until they are perfect or well, good enough according to his own perfectionist taste which is almost the same and those two share the studio with him! He’s snappy whenever somebody disturbs him during his producing sessions but if that somebody is you? He pulls his claws back immediately, his rough edges softening.

His heartbeat goes haywire whenever you show up in the studio and playfully pull the headphones off his head, checking the music out for yourself, nodding along to the beats. At least then he can watch you closely for your expressions, using his curiosity as an excuse why he’s staring and it’s part of the reason too, so it’s not exactly a lie. He wonders whether you like it, whether you can guess that all his lovesick lyrics recently are about you. He hopes you don’t, he hopes you do.

It’s an uneventful Tuesday night when he’s deep in thought about rhymes that don’t make sense and metaphors that feel forced and just nothing sounds right. When the door to his studio opens quietly, for once he’s almost glad for the disturbance. He turns around in time to see you sneak into the studio, holding a convenience store plastic bag above your head as if it was a humble offering, a white flag.

“I brought ice cream,” you explain with a beaming smile and Taesan is not one to say no to a free late night snack. He doesn’t answer, too starstruck by sight of you in an oversized hoodie, all soft and cuddly, which you take as a good sign and slip further inside, closing the door behind you.

“You didn’t answer my texts, so I guessed you’re here,” you muse out loud as you sit down on the extra chair next to his, offering him a plastic-wrapped popsicle, then unwrapping another one yourself.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, unplugging his phone from the charger to check on the missed texts from his friends before picking on the colourful wrapper.

“It’s okay. I know how you get when you’re in the zone,” you smile sweetly and gosh, how can you be so perfect?

Taesan’s breath hitches when you inch closer, your shoulder pressing into his arm as you take a closer look at the computer screen, at the audio software he uses even though you probably don’t understand what’s going on there.

“New song?” You ask, genuine curiosity in your bright voice, so Taesan hums and tells you that he’s stuck on the chorus. You know nothing about music but he lets you listen anyway because at this point he’s desperate for any pointers and well, he’s weak for you, so it’s not like he could say no to those sparkling eyes.

He plays the half-finished song for you once, picking on the skin around his fingernails in the meantime from the nerves, the popsicle melting in his other hand.

The too big headphones are still on you when you turn to him with the most beautiful, beaming smile ever when the audio file ends in a hundred seconds that has never felt so long.

“It’s so good! Seriously, how can you come up with lyrics like this? And that melody in the beginning? So catchy!” You exclaim, taking the mouse out of his hand, fingers brushing, just to rewind the audio to the beginning and play it again. This time you’re humming along with it, eyes half closed, fingers drumming on the desk. You look so immersed and so enthusiastic that Taesan can feel his heart ache in a way he’s not sure is healthy.

“There could be more instruments in the chorus to make it stand out more but I like it a lot,” you say when you finish your second listen and give him back both the headphone and the control over the computer before you nudge his side playfully.  “You’re such a romantic.”

“Am not,” Taesan objects hurriedly, his ears already reddening. Gosh, if you knew that it’s you who’s making him sprout out all these lines about jittery nerves around a crush and wanting to watch the stars together.

It’s hard sitting still, so close that your knee brushes against his sometimes; it’s hard to concentrate on your questions when your floral scent envelops him; it’s hard not to lean closer, to close the gap and kiss the melting vanilla ice cream off your lips.

Shit, woah.

Taesan sucks in a breath and rolls his chair backwards, away from you. You look at him with furrowed brows in confusion, so cute and unaware of your effect on him that he swears you’ll be the death of him.

Summer days seem endless and Taesan makes some regrettable choices in the name of fashion. But as a proud believer of no weather being too hot for black clothes, he cannot back down.

“Aren’t you hot?” You lean closer to talk over the loud music and Taesan immediately feels warmer. If he was Jaehyun, he would make a joke out of it, asking if you found him hot with wiggled eyebrows but he’s not that shameless.

“Nah, I’m good,” instead he lies through his teeth. You shot him a look of disbelief and shrug, looking back to the stage, moving to the beat of music, jumping around, having fun.

“I’m back!” Woonhak raises the bag of drinks in the air like they were some kind of reward and honestly, Taesan has never been so relieved to get a cup of iced Americano.

“What took you so long?” He grumbles though as he tries to cool off with the cold drink.

“Yah, the line was crazy long. Next time you can go,” the younger complains and gets immediately babied by Hyein who definitely spoils him too much.

The next splash of water reaches their group and Sungho shrieks the loudest as he gets soaked while you giggle in your already see-through tee. You have a bikini underneath but still, Taesan has this urge to cover you up. He knows it’s silly, the entire purpose of this event is to get wet in the summer heat but he can’t help it, not when you sing along with some random kpop boy group on the stage. He doesn’t even know why he agreed to come, it’s really not his scene. Sure, he loves music but the water bomb festival isn’t exactly his typical concert experience.

Five minutes later he gives up and slides off his overshirt, tying it around his waist.

“You have moles here,” you point out suddenly and Taesan looks at you a little dumbfounded.

“What?”

“Moles. Here. It’s cute,” you say with an endeared smile and poke his bicep right above the birthmark which is revealed now that he’s only in his sleeveless tee.

Taesan can feel his ears burn and he wants to laugh. You did not just call his arms cute when he worked out in the gym to gain some muscle. But well, let’s look at the bright side: you seem to have meant it as a compliment and while he has never bothered with his moles, long accepting them as a part of him, now he starts to have a love-hate relationship with them because from then on you start poking his bicep just for the sake of it whenever he wears tank tops or t-shirts with shorter sleeves and it sends a flutter down his stomach every single time. He’s positively losing it.

On his birthday, the gang goes laser tagging. Unfortunately for him, you end up on a different team alongside Riwoo, Leehan and Woonhak. Honestly, with Sungho on his team, Taesan is pretty confident, the two of them tend to be the best in these kinds of games and he gets competitive anyway, so he swears he won’t go easy on you.

He even tries to shoot you in the back like a coward, so you wouldn’t get a chance to distract him but you duck at the last minute and avoid it. He starts chasing you then between the maze of neon-lit pillars but a sudden 180° turn of yours takes him by surprise and somehow it ends up with both of you on the ground with your body pressing against his. You push yourself up just enough to look down on him and lying on his back, momentarily breathless after the collision, Taesan swears he feels his soul leave his body because damn, you are beautiful. Your hair is messy, strands of it falling into your face, eyes dilated and shiny, burning with fierce passion.

He is distracted, he doesn’t even notice when you pick up your gun again, not until you shoot him in the chest, the echo of his vest’s switching off sound resonates off the walls. The hell.

“Cheater,” he mutters but with less bitterness than what he would have if it was anybody else.

“Says you,” you retort with a cheeky smile before getting ready to push yourself entirely up, ready to hunt down the rest of his group.

You don’t even make it to your feet though. Taesan pulls you down again with a grab on your wrist but this time he rolls the two of you around, so you are with your back on the floor and he’s the one hovering over you. He sneaks a hand under your head, protecting you from the impact as you look up at him with widened eyes. He feels breathless again and hopes he can blame it on the game.

“What on Earth are you guys doing?” Sungho’s sharp voice comes, seemingly oblivious to the tension around you and Taesan scrambles to his feet, offering you a hand which you take with a grin, the shadow of the previous look still present in your eyes. He doesn’t want to let go.

Later, there’s a cake and a cheesy toast from Jaehyun and you gift him an LP that he listens to over and over again.

Just before the summer ends, you all hang out together by the Han River, eating store-bought cheese tteokbokki and way too spicy ramen on the worn blankets. That’s when Taesan witnesses it: a guy asking you out just a few steps away within earshot when you are returning from your sweets errand.

It’s already been months since you broke up with your ex, so of course, you would want to move on, Taesan wouldn’t blame you nor does he blame the guy because you’re pretty and amazing, what’s not to like. But then you duck your head shyly, glance quickly towards the group that’s mostly unaware why you’re held back and for a moment your eyes meet.

Taesan quickly looks away, the loose threads of the blanket have never been so interesting.

“Ah, I’m flattered but actually, there’s someone I like.”

He hears your answer loud and clear and it breaks his brain. Do you like someone? Who and why didn’t he have no idea? Or maybe you just said that to nicely turn down the guy? Was he not your type? Wait, what kind of guys do you like? What…

He’s still thinking about it, his thoughts on overdrive, when you eventually leave, the group scattering across town after sunset, and he offers to walk you back to your place from the metro station. The air between you is heavy, not just from the humid summer air.

“Taesan?”

“Hm?” He whips his head your way, playing aloof.

“Tell me,” you prompt vaguely and he feels his heart drop. What if you know what has been plaguing his mind? What if you think he’s a weirdo?

“What?”

“You’re thinking too loud,” you explain with a shrug and a small smile playing on your lips. “What’s it about?”

Taesan doesn’t even think this time.

“You,” he blurts out without meaning to and he has half a mind to turn it into a joke, a teasing but you look so genuinely surprised that he can’t make himself.

“What about me?”

He can’t read you. Do you really not know?

“Everything.”

But mostly about how your bright personality and wide smile is like molten sunshine and that it’s unfair because he has always associated himself with the moon and there’s something tragic about being ill-fated from the beginning. About how crazy it is that you’re here asking that question as if there was any prolonged moment in your company when he was able to focus on something else that wasn’t you. About how much he would like to hold your hand and play with your more delicate fingers, pressing his lips to the pad of them, an action somehow more intimate than kissing itself.

But he doesn’t dare to even say that out loud, too afraid of messing up.

You chuckle at his nonsense answer anyways, flash him a shy smile and look away  and it’s in moments like this when Taesan lets himself wonder whether you feel differently about him too. Because he’s pretty sure friends don’t look at each other the way the two of you do. Or at least they’re not supposed to.

“Who is it?” He hisses as the question that has been scratching his throat stumbles out and he forces himself to act nonchalant about it, as if your words didn’t have the power to turn his world around. You look at him questioningly and Taesan takes a deep breath, refusing to back down like a total loser, so he clarifies: “The guy you like. Do I know him?”

“Oh,” you mumble, looking down, nerves acting up, and halt your steps. Taesan suddenly wants to take it back because you don’t have to tell him something like that, he’s being nosy and uncharacteristically clingy and… “Do you really want to know?”

Yes.

No.

He doesn’t even know. Because based on your reaction, you do like someone, it wasn’t just a white lie and he doesn’t know what to do with that. But he bites the bullet because it’s better to know than to wonder, he’s already driving himself crazy as is.

“Sure,” he shrugs and he’s being so fake he cringes at himself but at least your eyes are on him again. Shiny doe eyes he knows he will write into yet another song.

“What if it’s someone you don’t like?” You quirk a brow and Taesan has to consciously unclench his fingers. His throat feels tight, the summer air suffocating him.

“You don’t need my permission.”

“Not even if he’s very close to you?” You tilt your head, pouting.

“God, please tell me it’s not Leehan. He cares more about his fish than girls,” he exclaims dramatically, because he doesn’t really think that you would like his best friend since he hasn’t seen you hang out much and he needs to break this awkwardness somehow.

You laugh at his answer, harder than necessary because it wasn’t even that funny. You look at him like he should know already and it’s ridiculous because there’s still uncertainty and tension lingering in the space.

Then you step so close that you crowd into his space, push yourself to your tippy toes and peck him on the mouth. Brief and fleeting but so sweet Taesan feels the sugar rush go to his head. He almost forgets the topic you were on as his brain short circuits.

“Me?” He finds himself asking dumbly. “Really?”

It feels unreal, even with the soft pressure of your fingers curling in his shirt, you staying so close that your breathing fans against his chin.

“Really,” you nod, eyes full of wonder and amusement. Relief.

“Fuck,” Taesan swears under his breath as he slides a hand to your nape and leans down to kiss you properly. He feels your smile against his lips and he can already tell how your friends will get to know the news and that he wasn’t the one who confessed despite his year long crush but at that moment he doesn’t mind any future teasing. Because you like him and suddenly all the silly love songs about the firework-like kisses make sense.

[slvtteez]

♚ - Switch. | 강여상

✦ summary: when you decide to help your boyfriend, yeosang relieve stress after his attitude towards you and everyone around switches. ✦pairing: idol boyfriend! yeosang x fem! reader (ft. san, wooyoung, hongjoong briefly) ✦genre: smut!, idol au, brief fluff ✦word count: 3.1k ✦warning: smut!, dom!yeosang, fem reader, oral (m and f receives), yeosang is cold towards the reader, unprotected sex (don't condone please be safe), creampie (be safe), big dick! yeosang, vaginal fingering, hair pulling, rough sex, squirting!, praise, dirty talk, pet names (baby, princess), impact play (spanking), nipple play (slight), teasing, begging, cursing, fluff (brief)

this is a work of fiction and is not meant to be a realistic representation of any of the real people mentioned!

nsfw content below. 18+ - mdni

Yeosang and I worked well together despite being the total opposite of each other. While I was the wild social butterfly extrovert that was down to try anything with anyone. Yeosang was the sweet homebody introvert who only wanted to spend time with me or the members. It worked for the both of us because we both equally loved doing what made each other happy and found joy in each other's hobbies. 

I remember the moment he first introduced me to the members. The entire time they looked between me and Yeosang, huge smiles plastered on their faces watching us interact.

-

“Wah our Yeosangie, I never would’ve thought I’d see you like this with anyone but us.” Hongjoong exclaimed to the members. They each nodded in unison loving how you bought out Yeosang’s bubbly side even more.

 “Don’t forget about me.” Wooyoung playfully pouted to Yeosang who only chuckled at his silliness. “Wooyoung, calm down.” San said, playfully tsking at him with a smile. 

“Y/n is very special to me and I plan to be with her forever so let’s all live happily together!”  Yeosang exclaimed, causing the members to coo and cheer for the both of you. You stared fondly into his eyes smiling at his cute declaration in front of the members. 

‘He’s a keeper’ you thought to yourself.

-

We’ve been together for four years now and everything has been going more than well. I feel very fortunate to have met Yeosang and have the opportunity to call him mine. Our relationship is full of love, when there was an issue whether in our relationship or personal it was easy to come to each other, and we hold time for each despite Yeosang’s busy schedule. 

That was up until recently.

Yeosang has been coming home from work acting a bit strange like a switch was flipped in his head. His new routine consisted of him trudging around the house cursing, showering, eating where he’d finally acknowledged me, barely, then he was locking himself away until it was time for bed. His attitude towards me was unlike I’ve ever seen in our entire relationship. When I tried to ask him what was wrong he’d scowl and brush me off.

Today I decided to cater to him hoping he’d open up a bit. I ordered his favorite food Yangnyeom chicken, his favorite snacks, and dessert hoping that through his stomach some tension would ease. 

The minute he walked inside he released a loud sigh, muttering curse words under his breath. Hurriedly coming to greet him I'm met with a deep scowl etched in his face.

 “Baby what’s wrong?” I ask, concerned about him. 

“Don’t worry about it y/n.” Yeosang says curtly before walking off past me. I stand there stunned by his response, racking my mind on what could possibly be the issue today. Following him to the room I watch as he gathers his things to shower still muttering to himself. Feeling like there’s no other option, I wait for him to shower then call San.

“Hey y/n! how are you?” San happily greets you when he picks up the phone. 

“Hey San. I’m doing okay…I just really need your help.” I say. 

“Is it about Yeosang?” He asked, sighing into the phone.

 ‘So I guess it’s not just me who has been seeing his sudden change’ I think.

 “Uhh yeah I’m not sure what’s going on and I’m really concerned about him. He refuses to say anything but I want to help if I’m able to.” I plead.

 “Calm down y/n, lately we’ve been getting a lot of heat from the company about trivial matters, they’ve been nitpicking at him the most.” I sigh remembering an article I’d seen the other week where fans were criticizing their most recent performance. 

“Oh I see.. Well, thank you San for this. I’ll talk to you later.” San bids his farewell and I hang up. ‘He just needs a stress reliever then’ I think to myself knowing just the way to do it.

When Yeosang gets out of the shower, I sit patiently at the table waiting for him to come out and eat dinner. “ Tah-dah!” I exclaim the minute Yeosang walks in. Showing off the display of his favorite food and snacks hoping it could help ease him just a bit. “Ahh thank you baby.” He says with a small smile. “I wanted to do something special for you today. You still have another surprise I’ll give you later!” I smile wiggling my eyebrows comically at him. Yeosang lets out a small chuckle while sitting down to start digging in. 

Dinner goes by smoothly, the scowl now off of his face but stress still evident in his eyes. “So what’s this other surprise?” He questions eyebrow raised. Putting away the last of the cleaned dishes I only grin while shaking my head. “If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise baby.” “Ahh right.” Yeosang nods before walking off to the living room. With him now distracted by the tv I quickly start to execute my plan. I shower thoroughly and dress in a sexy red lace night dress Yeosang bought for me not long ago. “Here goes nothing.” I prepare myself in the mirror hoping this method can naturally take my man’s stress away.

“Yeosang, close your eyes!” I yell out to him from the bedroom. “Ahh right my surprise.” He says covering his eyes with his palms. I walk out making sure to dim the lights a little and stand in front of him holding a slice of his favorite cake. 

“Now open them.”  

Removing his hands, he blinks a few times adjusting his eyes before peering up at you amazed at the sight . He takes in your figure, loving the way the dress hugs you in the right places and exposes just enough for the imagination.

“Surprise baby.” I smile coyly, loving the way his eyes raked over my body. “Oh baby.” Yeosang mumbles lost for words.

 “I just thought you could use a nice stress relief baby, so I prepared all of your favorite things to eat.” I state innocently.

 Looking me in the eyes I see the dark gaze Yeosang has been possessing lately appear once again. “Is that so princess?” His now husky voice challenges a smirk growing on his lips. ‘Princess?’ Confused by the new nickname; I decided to play along with him. I nod back at him feeling small from his gaze. “I mean I do really really like this cake.” He stands up, inching forward, taking the plate from my hands. “But I think I have a taste for something very special right now.” Yeosang puts the plate down directing his attention back to me.

Taking a small step back I watch him move towards me with a grin on his face. “Have a seat princess.” He gestures towards the couch behind him. I make my way to the couch sitting as he instructed. He takes his seat next to me studying my breath subtly increasing at his closeness. “Princess, don't be shy. I don’t bite.” Yeosang states, voice deeper than before. Taking it upon myself I move to straddle his lap, loving the closeness.

 Since his sudden mood change our intimacy decreased to just small pecks here and there. 

“I want to help take all of your stress away baby.” I say in a slight whisper. I begin trailing small kisses on his collar bone, moving toward his jaw until I’m hovering over his lips. 

“Can you use me as your stress reliever baby?” I whisper eyes looking seductively between his eyes and lip.

In a flash Yeosang grabs my hair, roughly pressing his lips against mine. Our lips wrestle vigorously against each other with greed. A slight moan escapes me as Yeosang nips at my bottom lip tugging lightly at the flesh. He slips his tongue in my mouth and mint fills my senses. Unconsciously, I grind my hips on Yeosang’s already swollen bulge earning a loud groan from him. His grip on my hair tightens as he pulls away from the kiss; lips red and swollen. “Who told you to move?” He questions. “You’re mine to use right? You do as I say.” He growls clutching my hair even tighter, earning a whimper from me stilling my movements. 

Letting go of my hair Yeosang brings his hands to my breast, smirking at the way my nipples instantly perk up from the indirect contact. "My needy princess.” He whispers, ghosting his fingers over both nubs. I let out a shaky breath feeling a shiver course through my body as he continued teasingly playing with them. 

Desperate to feel more, I inch my way up his lap getting as close as I possibly can to him. Settling down my pussy finally fully aligned with his cock. “Sneaky girl.” Yeosang tsked shaking his head coolly. "Baby I want more.” I whined, not satisfied with his teasing actions on my nipples. With that he roughly pinched both nipples, rubbing them between his fingertips. I wince a little at the sudden action feeling a shock of pleasure run to my core. I could feel my juices dripping and knew Yeosang could feel it as well through his satin pajama pants 

“I need you to be a bit more patient princess.” He coos.

Letting my nipples go, Yeosang goes to remove his shirt revealing his toned muscles. Our couple tattoo decorated the right side of his chest, red ink bright just like when we first got it. He removes my dress leaving me fully bare for his eyes only. “No wonder your juices are soaking my pants princess. You didn’t even bother to put on any panties.” I giggled shyly at Yeosang’s words knowing there was a flood brewing between my legs. “That’s so fucking sexy!” He says pulling me down into a passionate kiss. His fingers trail lightly up and down my thigh, inching closer to my pussy with each stroke. I whimper into the kiss, starting to feel more frustrated from the lack of contact.

Breaking the kiss, Yeosang moves me off of his lap, onto his side. My jaw drops being able to see just how much I soaked through Yeosang’s pants. He chuckles, taking off his pants in one swift movement. “I want to see you bend over while you suck my cock.” He commands. Getting on my hands and knees making sure to perk my ass up; I lean into his lap taking his cock in my mouth. I couldn’t help the moan that escaped the minute his flesh touched my tongue. A mixture of his precum and my juices swirled in my mouth deliciously. 

Though I loved receiving, I can't deny that sucking Yeosang’s cock turned me on even more. His thick cock filled my mouth entirely, continuously leaking precum down my throat. The moans that came from his mouth fueled me to go deeper and deeper even when I’ve reached my limits. My core was instantly leaking from the taste of his cock alone.

I took as much of him as I could down my throat, stroking the remaining with my hands. “Yes princess there you go.” Yeosang groaned, slapping my ass. I moaned out loving the stinging sensation as well as having his cock in my mouth. “Ah you like that?” He asks, earning a nod and another moan from me. He smacked my ass harder this time, getting another muffled moan from me. I bob enthusiastically on his cock loving the praise he gave me each time I took him deeper. 

Coming up for air, I looked up catching Yeosang’s hooded eyes watching my backside. Looking in between my legs I gasp, being met with a huge puddle soaking the couch. “That’s all you princess.” He spoke, rubbing my ass sensually. “Please touch me.” I whimper up at him. “Where do you want me to touch?" He questioned. “Here” Yeosang smacked my ass harder than before prompting me to squeal. “Or here?” His fingers skate over my wet folds, slightly rubbing my clit. I loudly moan my approval, desperation quickly coming back. “Which —.” “My pussy! Please baby I can’t take it any more!” I plead, interrupting his sentence. 

Getting what he needed, Yeosang redirects me back to his cock, then begins rubbing his fingers up and down my folds again with more intention. “Your pussy is so beautiful and wet. All mine.” He grunts circling my clit with slight force. Arching deeply, I desperately twirled my hips around spewing incoherent words from my mouth. My task completely went from my mind as I felt my orgasm approaching. “Yes Yeosang. F-fuck baby please I need this.” I begged. He stopped, quickly flipping me on my back, kneeling in front of the couch between my legs. “I need to taste you.” His mouth made contact with my clit sucking vigorously. Inserting two fingers into my hole I felt my juices gush out as he plunged deeper, earning a growl from Yeosang. Hungrily eating me out I gripped his hair tightly knowing after a few more strokes I’d be coming. “I’m gon-na cu-“ the words stuck in my throat. I began shaking violently, eyes rolling to the back of my head, arching off of the couch as my orgasm took over. Yeosang’s fingers curled faster, his mouth moved rapidly. Clear liquid gushed from me coating his face. I let out a scream at the intensity. Yeosang continued, helping me ride out my high before removing his fingers and slurping up the rest of my juices

“Yum.” He smiles, licking his lips, face still dripping. I hid my face embarrassed not knowing I was capable of squirting that much. “Don’t hide, princess. I love it.” Leaning down, Yeosang removed my hands and kissed me gently. “I love all of your juices.” He smirks.

 Picking me up he walks us into the bedroom laying me down on the edge of the bed. I watch as he strokes his cock, peering down at me spread out on the bed. “I’m not gonna be so gentle today princess. Sorry in advance.” Yeosang slowly eases his cock little by little inside of me groaning. I moan loving how he stretched me out with every inch. After a while he bottoms out filling me completely. “Move baby.” I moan out wanting to feel more. Yeosang starts off gently, taking a few inches out and slowly pushing back in. “You’re so tight.” He groans deeply, circling his hips. Increasing his speed his hips smack against my ass, pulling out fully then plunging back inside of me roughly. 

With each stroke my breath is knocked out of me, my moans being cut off short. I grip the sheets tightly trying to steady myself from the force. Mouth agape, Yeosang ponds harshly into my pussy filling the house with nothing but the sound of skin slapping against each other and the bed rapidly hitting the wall. “Fuck—“ He growls out watching me struggle to release a single noise. 

“You wanted to be my stress reliever, right princess?" "You wanted me to use your holes to release stress huh?” He taunts loving the way your face scrunched up while taking his cock.

 “Answer me!” He booms, slapping my pussy sending electricity through my body. I release the longest and loudest moan of my life, finally catching my breath. “Fuck yes baby! Please use me! Please use my holes!” I screamed out loving how he pounded into me. I was high off his cock feeling myself slowly lose control over my senses.

Hearing this Yeosang pulls out, flipping me onto my hands and knees. Slamming back into my pussy he slaps my ass over and over again loving the screams that came out of my mouth. “Arch how I like it.” He commands pressing down on my back. His cock going even deeper than before hitting my sweet spot directly. I gasp at the sensation, trying to match Yeosang’s strokes chasing my incoming orgasm. “I’m coming baby.” I shout, clenching and unclenching around his cock, legs spasming uncontrollably I feel my juices gush out again as my orgasm crashes into me. “Yes princess cum all over my cock.” He praises continuously pounding into me. 

Gripping my hips tightly Yeosang slows down his pace moving my body back and forth. “You’re. Taking. Me. So. Well.” He coos snapping his hips into me sharply after each word. I moan loudly feeling him hit my sweet spot again. “Where do you want me to cum princess?” He asks, resuming his strokes like normal. “Inside of me baby.” I wiggle around being met with a slight smack to my ass. 

Groaning out I enjoy the now slow deep strokes Yeosang does. Hearing his moans causes me to clench tighter around his cock. “Moan some more for me baby.” I beg. His cock twitches inside of me at my plea prompting me to moan out. “Princess I’m so close.” He moans out loudly, speeding up slightly. “I want you to cum for me one more time.” He snakes his arm between me to rub my clit. I move my hips circularly, stimulating us both. “Just like that.” He moans fucking me more erratically. I feel my orgasm quickly approaching again bracing myself for the impact. “I’m coming.” Yeosang groans. His cock twitched inside of me, planting his seed deep inside my pussy. With a few more wild strokes I quickly follow behind, coming undone underneath him. We both flop down onto the bed trying to catch our breaths. 

-

After our breathing settles Yeosang stands up “I’ll go run us a bath baby.” He walked out of the room allowing me to rest more. Coming back he picks me up bridal style placing me in the tub between his legs. I sigh loving how the hot water relieves the tension from my body. A comfortable silence takes over for a moment before Yeosang speaks up. 

“I’m really sorry y/n.” He sighs. “I haven’t been treating you the best lately because of my own problems. I know it’s no excuse but I really hope you can forgive me.” 

Taking in his words I turn to embrace him in a hug. “It’s okay baby. I forgive you.” I press light kisses on his head. “Please don’t shut me out like that again though. We’re a team, remember?” I bring his head up to peer into his eyes. Yeosang nods “I promise you I won’t do this again.” 

Satisfied, I lean in for a kiss. Passionately exploring each other's mouths allowing the tension between us to finally be released. We bathe each other, finally calling it a night after finally indulging in the cake I brought.

 “I love you y/n.” Yeosang says, nuzzling his nose in my neck as we cuddle in bed. “I love you too.” I kissed his head as we both drifted off to sleep.

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[beefrobeefcal]

what the hell is wrong with tim feat. Tim Rockford

Summary: Tim is not acting like himself...and there's a coffee shop with only one bathroom.

Tim Rockford x f!cop reader | Rating: 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,565

Content Warnings: sex pollen, bathroom privilege abuse, handsy Tim - willing reader, consent is given to the needy man, scared coffee shop worker, talk of crime scene, police, public sexual encounter, high-as-ball oral sex, tim is a cunning linguist, oral (f receiving), eye patch required, gross bathroom floor, forced orgasm, squirting

Author's Notes: This is only a thing bc of the potential badge i could have earned from @pedroscouts... I am not sorry for my vanity. This fic is dedicated to @goodwithcheese - i hope - if nothing else - you enjoy my take on Tim.

Thank you to @strang3lov3, @noxturnalpascal, @bitchesuntitled & @weregirlbyknight for their eyes and love. dividers made by @saradika-graphics

One line is dedicated to @covetyou. I'll let you find it.

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

Tim had felt hazy and off since he’d left the warehouse. That was one of the weirdest drug busts he’d participated in, finding the offending parties sucking and jerking each other off and barely noticing that half the city’s police force was watching.

He was a reserved man. Many of his coworkers, past and present, had learned that his rough, quiet exterior was just the outer shell to a pensive, shy, overthinking loner. His routines kept him in line when a case had others wanting to pull their hair out, and his isolation and limited social life had him solving said cases quickly and without distractions.

You weren’t that much different from Tim, but you understood the inherent value of networking and getting to know your fellow officers. You had more of an extroverted nature, and seemed to be one of the few who could hold a conversation with Tim that wasn’t solely about whatever case either of you were working on at that moment – sometimes you discussed past cases and different kinds of coffee. Because of this, he’d developed a slight affinity for you that he kept deeply under wraps. 

He tried to shake off the weird, hot feeling that coursed through his body, as he walked down the hallway to his office at the precinct; his hand rubbed the back of his neck. He’d barely noticed you coming from the copy room, and you in turn had your head down as you reviewed files.

“Whoa, Rockford! Walk much?”, you exclaimed as your shoulder collided with his. He looked up and you could see something was off, placing your hand on his shoulder to steady him. “Hey, are you okay?”

He looked at you, feeling the heat in him crank up to 11, and swallowed like his mouth was dry. He nodded and responded in a hoarse voice, rubbing his eyes. “I’m… yeah, I just… I just need some coffee.”

“Uh-huh.” You didn’t believe him. Tim was a man of few words, but not normally were those few words also stilted. You moved your hand to his chin, forcing him to look at you.  “Are you drunk?”

Tim’s eyes met yours and there was no differentiating his pupils from his irises. Despite this, it still made your body react to his intense eye contact. He smiled although it seemed more loopy and intoxicated than what he normally offered you. “I wish. Might… might feel better than this. I… I jus’need some coffee…”

“Let’s get you some coffee.”, you said with a crooked smile. Your hand, after making direct contact with his skin on his chin, felt a slight tingling sensation. You wiped your hand on your jeans and lead Tim down the hallway. 

You’d ushered Tim out of the precinct and over to a coffee shop located in a hotel lobby nearby. This place had won out over any other coffee shop, given it was the closest, it was usually quiet this time of day, and he looked like he needed to get out of the office entirely.

Tim’s head was swimming, and he was sweating profusely even though your table was directly under the AC vent; your skin was erupting with goosebumps and Tim was practically melting, a flush creeping up his neck and sweat beading on his forehead. You felt for the guy, you really did, but you knew this wasn’t a case of him just needing coffee.

“I’m not trying to be mean or anything but… you look like shit. Are you on something?”

He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning. “I’m not on nothin’.”

You nodded, giving a non-committal uh-huh, not believing him, and the two of you continued to sit and sip in silence. The fingers that touched his chin still tingled, and you mindlessly rubbed the pads together, making the tingling extend up into your hand. You didn’t give it another thought; carpal tunnel syndrome was something you knew could come with desk work and it’s what you assumed this was. When you finished your cup and saw his was empty, too, you walked over to the counter to grab a second cup for Tim; even if coffee wasn’t the solution, he looked like he needed it.

Tim’s eyes followed you and as your back was to him, his mind swarmed with dark, delicious, and depraved thoughts as he stared at your backside. His feet were moving towards you before he realized he’d even gotten out of the chair; his hands gripped your waist and pushed you up against the counter, your back flush with his front.

“Tim!”, you yelped, trying to turn around to push him away, but his hold on you was firm.

He buried his nose in your hair and inhaled deeply and breathed out a deep growl, his hot breath cascading over your scalp, neck and shoulders. The woman behind the counter just watched, wide eyed, holding your two to-go cups of coffee. You offered a sheepish and awkward smile, trying to act as casual as you could manage and took the cups from her.

“Thank you!”, you said, cheerily, dragging Tim behind you. You wanted to leave, but with Tim all over you, the few steps back to the table were all you could muster.

You put the cups on a side table and pushed Tim off you. He fell back onto the chair heavily, still looking dazed.

You sat down on the other side of the table and glared at him, then your phone buzzed. You held a finger up to Tim, who was looking like he was starting to move towards you like a drugged bear, and hissed, “Stay put!”

A message from the precinct’s administrator, Sally, read:

You have Rockford with you? Is he acting weird? Daniels saw you leave with him. Other cops at the bust are being treated for non-lethal aphrodisiac intoxication. He should be fine but just watch out 😉

Closing your eyes and groaning, you tried to calm yourself; you couldn’t lose your cool when Tim was clearly so out of it. While you were deep in thought, your eyes still closed, you tapped the rounded corner of your cell phone on your head. And upon opening your eyes, you saw that Tim was gone. You looked around and heard a grunt from under the table.  

You leaned down and got a good look at Tim crawling over around the table’s pedestal. His wild and fried eyes met yours and before you could take control of the situation, Tim grabbed your ankle, his hand moving up under your pant leg.  

The cashier behind the counter cleared her throat and looked at you, silently asking if you were okay. You gave her a forced smile and nodded. “I’m… we’re fine!”

The cashier gave you a slow confused nod. Clearly, she didn’t believe you and was seconds away from probably calling the cops on this deranged man getting too handsy with this poor woman. You couldn’t let Tim be seen like this by your coworkers; the embarrassment would kill him.

“We’re… we’re rehearsing a play… and he’s drunk - he’s supposed to be drunk.”, you quickly spit out, forcing a laugh, as you tried to pull your leg away from his out-of-his-mind determination.

Another buzz! from your phone and the screen lit up with another message from Sally:

 And don’t make direct contact with his skin. 

You paused and stared at the screen, feeling a wave of warmth start from your head and roll down your body. You were brought back to reality for a moment when Tim’s hands tried to take off your shoe. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”, you hissed at him, keeping your voice low as to not draw too much attention. His blown out and dopey eyes looked up at you and you could see a bit of drool in one corner of his stupid grin. “Tim. What. The. Fuck.”

“You just… you smell… you smell so good…”, he groaned, biting and mouthing your knee through your pants.

You froze, your eyes wide. You couldn’t help the fuzzy sensation that was starting to grip your mind, making that heat bloom in your core. His hands were on your bare skin as he soaked your pant leg with his drool. Even though your brain felt like it was beginning to fill with marshmallows, you still had enough senses to realize what was happening and you tried to diffuse the situation. “Tim, did you take or ingest anything…  anything at that drug bust – “

“Need…”, he grunted, interrupting your questioning. His hands slid up your thighs and gripped your hips.

Tim’s head was getting dangerously close to your lap, his loud huffing and inhaling making it apparent where he was headed, his mouth leaving a drool path up your pant legs, and you needed to get control of the situation. You pulled yourself from his grip and stood up, stepping away from the table. You offered another sheepish, fake smile to the cashier, and leaned down to pull Tim up off the floor, eventually dragging him as he held on to your leg to the washroom near the backdoor of the coffee shop.

Getting into the washroom for you was one thing; trying to cajole Tim into standing up so you could get a better look at him under the fluorescent lights while your body was trying to pull you into a frenzied, horny abyss was completely different. 

Similar to a sedated toddler, Tim’s body was like a balloon filled with cooked spaghetti. No matter what hold you had on him, he seemed to be drawn to the floor like a pile of wet laundry, and eventually, he was trying to pull you down with him. 

“Tim, I need you t-”

“I need you, too…” he grunted, pulling himself up onto his knees with his grip on your hips.

His eyes were wild and fully black. You couldn’t help but see a bit of Mr. Burns when he’s drugged up on that episode of the Simpsons with the X-Files tie-in. As you were distracted in thought, he pushed you up against the sink counter and buried his face in your lap, the sound of his inhale obscene.

You squealed out, “TIM!”, and tried to shove him back, making contact with the bare, clammy skin of his neck. Your fingers tingled and your head felt light and fuzzy. Tim’s face contorted to that of a wild dog fighting for the last scrap of meat and he growled. Your body froze but your hazy brain didn’t give you the signal for fear; instead, you felt cautiously optimistic. His huge hands gripped the back of your thighs, pushing his face back into your crotch, and you seriously considered not stopping him this time.

Until your phone dinged repeatedly, bringing you back to reality. You managed to get your foot on Tim’s broad shoulder and kick him back while you fumbled in your pockets to find your phone. Tim landed on his back with a grunt, but, undeterred, he pulled himself up off the floor. You didn’t see it as you scanned the continual messages from Sally, telling you to bring him back to the precinct ASAP -  demanding to know where you were and telling you that this could become a volatile situation. Your brows furrowed, confusion at the messages still coming in, asking for a response…

You need to come in with Rockford NOW. He is not stable.  RESPOND NOW I PROMISE YOU THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE TO BE A HERO ROCKFORD IS COMPLIMENT FJCK FUCK I MEANT COMPROMISED. ROCKFORD IS COMPROMISED. YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE

Reading through the messages left you unprotected from Tim, as he stumbled towards you with a classic Kubrickian stare, grunting and panting and sweating. Before you could look up, he had you pinned up against the counter, his forehead against yours, his breath hotly washing over your mouth, and his hand planted on either side of you on the counter, caging you in. 

You stared at him, your wide eyes so close to his that he looked like a cyclops, your own breathing becoming more of a pant as his sweat dripped down your face. He smelled like he was sweating a high end cologne with a hint of pine needles.

“Is… is it getting ho-hotter in here?”, you croaked out, trying to say something - anything - to diffuse the situation.

Tim only grunted back, one of his large hands moving to your side, clumsily gripping your waist. He dug his fingers in and groaned as if this was the only thing that was going to get him through whatever psychotic episode he was currently in. 

You needed to get control of the situation. You cleared your throat and spoke in the most authoritative voice you could muster. “Offic-”, you squeaked out before lowering your voice. “Officer Rockford. This is inappropriate on so many levels and I must ask tha-that you k-keep your hands to yours-”

“Wanna eat your fucking pussy.”

Although the words he spoke came out clearly in a grunt, it took you a moment to realize that THAT was what came out of his mouth. You silently mouthed the words back to him with a furrowed brow, trying to relay the message to your brain. Your pussy, despite having no ears, heard the message loud and clear, and chose violence by deciding to clear house and flood the basement.

He closed his eyes and inhaled, his forehead pressing into yours, and let out a deep grumble of a grunt. 

“I can -”, he shuddered out in a growl. “Fuck me gently, Jack - I can smell her…”

You could only let out a whimper and watch helplessly as he grabbed and pulled you to the floor, The slightly off-white tiles with stained grout were of no consequence once he had you down there. He crawled up your body like you imagined a drunk crocodile would lumber across a beach and his feverish body heat radiated off him. You felt like you were under a heating lamp, or under the spotlight during an interrogation, and he was trying to sweat a confession out of you. Your brain swirled with ideas and thoughts - all of them major HR violations - but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Tim sat up on your thighs and hands were sluggishly - yet deliberately - pulling at your belt and your standard issue detective dress pants, trying to get them open. You didn’t stop him, Instead, you gazed up at him; he was a vision. His white dress shirt was translucent with how drenched in sweat he was and the perfectly coiffed curls on his head were limp and dangling, wet and dripping. His face was flushed, and his neck - oh fuck, his neck - it was glistening; you watched one bead of sweat make its journey from his patchy beard all the way to join its brethren in making his shirt wetter. 

Your head felt like it was under water, sounds muffled, but you did hear the sound of fabric ripping, and you watched his hands rip open your pants, no longer able to wait for the slow burn of a zipper being pulled down. 

Everything moved in slow motion for you, like whatever had affected Tim had seeped into your bloodstream and you were both on a magical journey together on a hotel coffee shop’s bathroom floor. In a whirlwind that moved at a snail’s pace, Tim managed to stand up and pull your pants off, but didn’t make it over your shoes. Much like Peter Pan’s shadow, your ripped open pants laid on the floor, inside out, still covering your feet. Your underwear didn’t fare any better as he balled up the front of them in one fist and yanked them off your body, leaving deliciously red welts on your hips. If you cared, you didn’t realize it. 

He snarled and brought the shredded remains of your panties to his face and inhaled. He grunted and mouthed them like he was a man starved, and the sounds he made were euphoric. 

His large palm came down and clumsily stabilized himself next to you as he knelt down between your open thighs, grunting and snorting. Your hands shakily moved to his head and you felt his wet curls pull through your fingers, leaving your hands slick from his sweat and melted hair wax. His head moved down between your thighs as his hands brutishly pushed them up and apart.

The sound of his breaths panting out against the wet crux of your thighs was obscene and loud and so insanely hot, and above his sounds you swore you heard the angels weeping in envy as soon as his nose pushed against you into your folds. He groaned through his open mouth as his wide, flat tongue laved over your fluttering hole; his nose pressed tightly against your twitching nub, and you squeaked out a whine in response. 

“So… fucking… good…”

His timbre and tone was deep enough that the vibrations alone pushed you closer to the edge and you let out a gasping moan. Tim pushed you, gripping the underside of your thighs, up onto your upper back as he got up on his knees, butting them against you. He shoved more of his face than should have been possible between your legs and opened his mouth wide and licked his tongue in your hole, like a teenager French kissing for the first time. If anyone had walked in, you swear they would have assumed that Tim had the most perverse-looking bong and he couldn't stop taking hits off it. The sounds you made were muffled and distorted from the angle he had you at as his nose repeatedly pressed against your clit, bumping and smashing it as he sucked the life out of you through your pussy.

“Tim!”, you panted out. “Oh fuck!”

He groaned a response, unintelligible due to his tongue being out and his face being buried, but you could have sworn he said, “I know, right?”

The white hot coil that had been slowly tightening over the past hour suddenly snapped and you screamed out, involuntarily trying in vain to arch your back. Tim held you firm and kept pressing his fucking nose into your clit and fucking you with his tongue. It was almost too much, and you screeched and writhed as much as you could, your hands gripping his arms and digging your nails in. Your whole body felt like it had been set on fire and it was consuming you. 

But he didn’t let up. There was no respite, no chance for you to take a breath and reset. Another orgasm came crashing through you and then another one right on top of it. Through them all Tim kept going. And going and going, and you didn’t know any longer when one climax started and another began. 

Tim held you firm in his arms, his large hands splayed out on your belly as your legs tensed and flexed over his shoulders. All you could do was hang on and scream while he devoured you over and over and rocked his hips against your back.

You swore you couldn’t handle anymore. Whatever drug or intoxication Tim had gifted to you was wearing off and you didn’t think your body could handle another mind altering orgasm. But he kept going, forcing another one out of you as he grunted and bucked and rutted against you faster and faster. 

He let out an animalistic groaning growl into your pussy

The feeling in your lower belly was different this time. The build up was greater than before as his nose pressed harder and he panted into you while tongue fucking your hole. You felt the urge to let go as that coil released again and Tim simultaneously pressed his crotch to you and wailed out as a warmth bled over your back. He lifted his drenched face from you just enough with a high pitched moan that when you squirted, it got him square in the eye.

You don’t know how long you both laid on that bathroom floor. Your limbs felt heavy, like they were filled with concrete, and Tim didn’t seem to be faring any better. When you were finally able to catch your breath, you groggily sat up and looked at the carnage that was Tim; his whole body was shaking and the front of his navy blue dress pants were wet - not damp, not moist -  and there seemed to be liquid pulsing still from his crotch.

“Tim - .”, you called out, but your voice was hoarse. 

His head rose and he looked at you, dazed. 

“What in the heck - “, he groaned as he sat up, rubbing his eye. When he brought his hand down to wipe his face, his eye looked red and irritated. 

You both looked each other over and no further words were said as you pulled yourselves together. You left the coffee shop still straightening your clothes, not making eye-contact with any of the employees.

After taking a desperately needed long weekend, you returned to work. Walking in, you saw your coworkers and everyone behaved as if nothing had happened. Until Tim came into the morning meeting with an eyepatch on.

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