#i’m actually going to start yelling
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guys i’m not doing ok
#i’m actually going to start yelling#he looks SO pretty with the purple. and he’s a UNIT in the sweater like ok king we get it you’ve been working out#and the chains leather pants boots really just. reminding me that he CAN dress#absolutely breathtaking#chris motionless#miw#motionless in white#she speaks
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Wait, what happened? I can't watch streams nor vods so I'm a bit lost here--
In her last stream Shubble talked in depth about an abusive ex. She did not say any specific names but based off the behaviors and tidbits she mentioned about that person has ME thinking of a specific name. I won’t say who because I’m not trying to start shit and spread rumors, You’ll have to watch the vod and come to your own conclusion.
What matters right now though is Shubble. Please send her lots of love and support. She deserves the world
#rozu asks#anonymous#I don’t think it’s wise to start pointing fingers#my brain is an overthinking mess and I needed to yell somewhere#so I might actually go delete that sorry#I’m freaking out and assuming things but I don’t want others to do the same
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my mother was genuinely trying to make the argument that people do not fundamentally care about each other’s stories and only care in the ways they can relate their stories to their own experiences and therefore no one should ever try to make new plot lines or share their stories bc it’s all been told before and the only point to you sharing your story is for your own therapy bc no one actually cares and humans aren’t actually pack animals but lone wolves and we keep saying we want to change the world and we could so easily overthrow people in power but bc no one actually cares about each other we don’t do it and just give up. I have never been more certain in my whole life that I am right in saying she could not be more wrong. for the love of god please just share an orange with someone
#this is the same woman who will start yelling at the tv if she can follow the plot that’s coming within the first five mins#and has said before she hates people talking to her and doesn’t care what anyone has to say#like of fucking course you think that!!!! but not everyone has the same brain rot as you!!!!#and if you actually think that’s true in all your fifty years of wisdom from living#then be the fucking exception!!!!! care!!!!!! about something or someone!!!!!#jesus fuck!!!!!#I tried to argue but she gave me a look that was like#‘uh huh but I’m so much older than you I’ve Seen The World I Know better’#like. the length of your life does not make you more correct than me by default#sorry I’m ranting I’m just like. jfc then fucking care!!!!! do something instead of wallowing in self pity#and saying that you’re just ‘noticing the truth’ instead of being a martyr#anyway.#go hug somebody. lay in the grass in the sun
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I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT WE WERE ABOUT TO GET A SHERLOCK’S BIRTHDAY EPISODE. I’VE LITERALLY POSTED ABOUT IT YESTERDAY I’M A FUCKING GENIUS
#sherlock and co#please excuse me#I’m deeply sorry for my behavior#I’m just SO EXCITED#I’ve made a post LITERALLY YESTERDAY wondering if the next episode will contain sherlock’s birthday#considering bbc!sherlock was born on 6th of January I think#I actually started screaming when sherlock said it’s his birthday#and just went on Tumblr in a speed of light to yell to you guys#and normally I wait till the end of episode before checking Tumblr to avoid spoilers#oh fuck me what is this podcast even doing to me I’m going insane#john watson#sherlock#sherlock holmes#goalhanger podcasts#goalhanger
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top ten dudes with father issues
#ilysm boy your story was genuinely so well written i can’t wait for the replay so i can point and yell FORESHADOWING at everything#arven#pokémon arven#arven pokémon#trainer arven#pokémon#pokémon violet#pokémon scarlet and violet#there are so many ways to tag this stupid game there are a thousand variables please send help#scarlet/violet#pokémon scarlet/violet#pokémon scarvio#i give up i’m gonna hit tag limit if i actually go for every single one#OOUHGGGGH i love. i love the boy#not gonna talk about the plot here bc i don’t feel like having to tag this one as spoilers too#please simply enjoy this chest-up portrait of arven looking mildly angry. no spoiler content needed#my art#maybe i should start tagging my own original pokémon posts like i do for kh and twewy tbh…#might make my life easier
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I say this with the deepest sense of hatred imaginable, fuck this article
#‘read more’ no I don’t think I will#hey google why was this a recommended article. wanna tell me why that is. wanna tell me why you thought I’d like this shit#there’s a difference between an opinion piece and literal ableism lmao fuck you man#this especially hits a nerve for me because I was a quote unquote snobby kid who was really just autistic#yeah hate to break it to you but I wasn’t locking myself in my room everyday and destroying things and screaming because I was bored#it was because I had debilitating anxiety and sensory overload that I didn’t understand or know how to deal with#pretty funny how the ‘snobby’ behavior stopped almost the second I got on meds and learned coping skills. huh. interesting#actually fuck this by the way this makes me so angry I can’t even verbalize it#yes there are kids who are just Being Kids. but ever stop to consider that maybe they’re going through something they can’t verbalize#saying that autistic behaviors are bratty is So fucking damaging. ppl will internalize it and turn that stress towards themselves#meltdowns that would’ve otherwise been outward get internalized and start self destructive behavior#my fucking source? points at myself#and using the term ‘functioning’ also pisses me the hell off#yeah I’m ‘high functioning’ until I’m Not and I can’t talk or move#also Nobody is just handing out autism diagnoses left and right to random kids who are defiant sometimes#my brother in Christ I would like to see a source for that. where’s the proof that this is happening other than rising autism rates#fuck you fuck you and most importantly actually just plain fuck you#I’ve been treated like shit by total strangers because I have selective mutism. that shit is traumatic#I wasn’t fucking Misbehaving when an old fuck starting publically yelling at me and berating me because I didn’t say hi back to him#I wasnt being ‘defiant’ when I could barely leave my fucking room for weeks afterwards and had panic attacks every fucking day#why the fuck would anyone let this article be published#tw ableism#so sorry for not being ladylike! it’s not the Victorian era you dipshit! I’m not trying to be rude I am autistic#but apparently autism doesn’t work like that so oh ok I guess I’m just a bad person. thanks for confirming my suspicions
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I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”
(Rant in tags)
#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me??#when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah#but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way#he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod#qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right#after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like#my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit#I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we#get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that#stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my#brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a#reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period#is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet#it goes 🙃#random0lover emotional dumps#random0lover rambling ♡
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re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on
https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share
(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.
(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)
anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂
- @bondedpairs
ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!
#like. i don’t know how to explain how narratively aware will smith is to me. he knows he’s being put into the codependent rookies arc.#he’s aware that zeev buium transforms into a dog. he knows that he and mack aren’t getting together because mack’s gotta work it out first.#& in a less unhinged way i simply mean that will smith has an air of both self-conscious thought & projection i think is maybe fascinating.#but not in a way in which i actually know this or think that he thinks about himself and how he comes across. he just Is Something ????#the best way i can explain is one of my alltime favorite fics i use it like a shorthand citation bc i love it so much but catchascatchcan’s#many worlds universe but specifically the second tk/pat story second person you the ouroboros spits out its tale nolan walks off screen.#like that is the kind of narrative awareness i am trying to explain that no matter where i put him will smith knows he’s inside a story but#not in a way where he’s trying to do anything to it. he’s just present there. this makes no sense to me either please understand#liv in the replies#bondedpairs#happy to have brought you something in your times of woe!!! also hope things get a little less stressful for you!! <3#we’re 2gether p much 24/7” no go on i say in my nature documentary voice. watching them like bugs under a rock rn observing from a distance#this DID get me to actually watch the video. agreed with puckpocketed saying rich text and ur tags like. YES the daddy issues popped out.#just wants to make sure he’s having fun!! checking up!! mack the prime irritance in will’s life!! foisted off on one another w/ no choice#it’s like when your parents are friends so then you have to be friends with their kids in a way and then also like. you’re the only kids#close in age to each other but they’re NOT but it is definitely not like. i would choose you for any lifetime it is very will smith hockey#(once again) very aware he has to wait for mack to settle down. like now that i’m saying this i DO want clairvoyant will smith which is not#where it goes in the first half but just in the sense of like. those silly posts that are like ‘invested early in stock!’ & it’s a picture#of braden holtby & his beautiful bisexual wife brandi back when holts was a hipster who wore skinny scarves & now everyone thinks he’s sooo#like that but it’s will smith saying my god you are insufferable but you’ll be fantastic in five years. get in the fucking car.#(yes i am drawing extensively from the one picture where will has COMPLETELY tuned him out (there is a football reasoning reference here?#with the patriots? neonfretra drew this also but it was a tweet about the teams. there’s layers to this here ANYWAY) we’re building a life#i realize after the fact i addressed neither the dilf (gilf?) fucking here nor the content of the actual video & polycules to which i say:#brain scrampled egg. the burnsie/joe/patty/(pavs???) polycule just exists to me and the kids intersect the venn diagram but in a much#smaller portion than they intersect each other in both ways (will/mack joe/the guys)#also as for the content of the video. you’re gonna have to give me at LEAST (how long did it take me until i actually started posting tzjd?#i hate that this is my metric but it really was like. i see everyone yelling about them & i’m like ok. [please ignore the irrational hatred#i have for tz at the time it has to do with moritz seider and also whenever i see him on the ice something awakens in kill mode] and i DO#blame tzjd for my 800 drafts and it took me like. a good while before i finally went OH kay. i see it. okay i can get invested. horizon at#a 45 degree angle moon in the late waxing gibbous winds scented of orange & blowing S by SW from the vortex cycle etc etc ass conditions)
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Singlets stop talking about systems as if you’re an expert because you follow some on tumblr challenge (also warning the tags here are a huge rant so feel free to ignore that)
#first off I think most syscourse is stupid#at the end of the day you’re just arguing with strangers on the internet who probably aren’t going to change their opinion on anything#you’re not going to do anything but make yourself upset and waste you’re time#if someone’s spreading misinfo and they refuse to listen when corrected (assuming you’re actually trying to be helpful instead of just#yelling at them for being wrong because if someone did that to me I wouldn’t listen either) just block and move on#anyway to get the point of this post#I’m in a discord server with this one person and I can’t even remember why or how the topic of syscourse came up (it’s a fandom server)#and this person (a singlet) starts going on a rant about how having x belief about systems is inherently ableist and you shouldn’t trust#anyone who believes that#and it’s like you don’t even have the disorder you don’t have the lives experience to be able to talk on these things#like I guess have an opinion sure but don’t go around telling people (mostly other singlets) what is and isn’t right about a disorder that#your only info on is from people on tumblr#and I didn’t say anything about it because this server is really good for finding places to watch/listen to hard to find or expensive media#and I just didn’t want to fucking deal with it but like if you’re a singlet don’t go around telling people what they should believe about#systems or how cdds work especially when you’re not an expert and you haven’t done actual research into the subject#(also I’m purposely not saying the specifics of what was being said because I don’t want to deal with anyone seeing this and wanting to#argue about those specifics because as I’ve said before arguing about system stuff on the internet is largely pointless)#system#syscourse
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That moment where you’re legit sobbing over the first response you get in a character ai chat because it’s just a little to close to you’re relationship with your father and makes you realize that you may have a little bit of daddy issues
#it’s almost 2am and I’m legit sobbing#please send help#it’s a fucking Clark Kent ai to#like I know my dad loves me but we never do the stuff he promises#and it fucking sucks#like one year he was legit in jail for my birthday and promised he’d stop smoking#it’s been years and he still smokes#he promised that we’d go to Halloween horror nights since I gave up multiple parts of my vacation I was looking forward to#and nope never went#promised me to go to GameStop and buy me a game for my birthday#been a month later and you can see how that’s looking#idk maybe I’m asking for to much#I basically become numb to it now#making sure not to ask to much so I don’t get yelled at#but it still fucking hurts#idk if this is a vent or not#gonna be safe though#tw vent#small vent#idk man I’m probably being selfish and spoiled#my parents and sisters think I am#idk maybe I am and I’m just a master manipulator without wanting to be#maybe there’s something important that I’d not think is important that I’m leaving out#like it doesn’t happen all the time just most of the time when he promises something#and oh fuck I’m actually venting#sorry guys#darken talks#gonna end this before I start crying even harder
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Oh my pretty little trophy you know if hung you down and kidnap you to keep you as a pet. I’d look after you real good so you’re always ready for me to use.
#then I’d really be your trophy 🫣#the thought of someone actually hunting me down has me weak in the knees#guys it’s HILARIOUS how easy id be to catch#if you want somewhat of a challenge give me a little head start#cause uh#maybe if my adrenaline was pumping it would be different#but usually I’m really good at sprinting but after a little bit I’m fucking done man#also can’t climb a tree (sad I never did as a kid ☹️)#when I think of someone hunting me down in the woods or something#I feel like I’d sprint off in some random direction#maybe running into a tree or tripping on some shit#and then not even 5 min will go by and I’ll hear you behind me or see you#and I’ll just like lol yell#or like freak out#grab some sort of twig for defense#knowing damn well that ain’t gonna do shit#or I’ll try to keep running but I feel like my anxiety and adrenaline would not mix well and I’d fall or something#and just be so so so easy to catch#you’ll be able to jump right on top of me and pin me down#or when I get up it’ll be so so easy to grab me and push me against a tree and tear off my clothes#gotta claim me by forced breeding before you kidnap me#okkkkkkkkkkk#I need to calm down wtf#ask#anon
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jfc i hate my mother
#my alarm doesn’t go off and i’m already stressed and trying to get ready#and she starts screaming at me to get in the car and we have to go right now when i’m literally in the middle of getting dressed#like um actually i cant just leave in a bra that’s a problem#and then she insists she’s trying to help me and so i told her ill fucking walk cause her yelling is the opposite of helpful#personal.txt
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beating back all these trigun fic ideas with a comically large stick
#whiskey yelling into the void#I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ALL OF THEM!!!!!#ok ok. my post trimax fic i think might be like 10-20 chapters at most and idk if i’ll even finish he psot 98 fic tbh#i’m at ch 2 for the 98 one and i am losing steam already#part of me rly rly wants to go full steam ahead with the trimax fic but idk how far i’ll actually get??? bc i’m already hitting a block#and i’m still on ch 1#but also what if i wrote a modern day college au. what then#or a trigun polycule road trip fic that’s bene occupying my brain for the past day#shaking my brain MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!!!#i’ll just focus on dreamstuck until i can decide what trigun fic to put my whole chest into#bc i already know i cannot start and finish all of them i will give up and lose interest eventually on a good chunk of them
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My prediction for this weekend is that we will be Pulling up to the Mom’s Side Of The Family party (which my mom is unable to attend bc she’s SICK) and I am very visibly the most unhinged there. I then get questioned relentlessly by my extended family who all live in rural upstate ny about my identity before making my cousins take me to find deer shed while I talk obsessively about Hannibal
#turtledove yells into the abyss#I’m actually rlly sad my mom can’t make it to the party#We literally arranged to go to dinner in her hometown tmmr :(#Like it’s still great to be back here but :(#Also this is the first time I’ve resolved that fuck it I know I’ve got queerphobic family members but I DONT CARE#They can be shitty to me all they want they don’t have much time left on this planet they’re OLD. I’m NOT. And also I’m crazier than them#If they pull shit I’ll just start talking about the romance of cannibalism. Fuck are they gonna do? Stop me?
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#wdl#this is the last yelling into the void#i have insomnia - most of the time i don’t need to take sleeping pills but when the exhuastion starts to impact me i need to#i don’t like to take pills bc i won’t wake up in the morning and i also will wake up in the middle of the night and have no memory#an issue has been me ordering things online and having no memory of it#specifically ordering vinyl#so i made the comment of maybe i should write in my phone what vinyl im ordering to strengthen the memory#that way maybe it’ll be less likely i order the same pressing while asleep#and someone made the comment ‘discogs exists’#and it just made me very annoyed and i can’t even properly say why#like it seemed so fucking dismissive#why? i can’t tell you#do i think discogs is a solution?#no the online catalog honestly sucks and if i were to try to go on discogs asleep / in that mindset i will 100% buy more#it just seemed like it didn’t take into consideration the actual problem at all#but this could be very well bc i’m sensitive about the topic
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Okay aaaand someone stole my sandwich from the break room fridge I really am just gonna fucking lose it
#I can feel a scream sobbing mental breakdown coming on but I need it to hold off until about 11 pm#after I’ve gotten off and gone to an atm to get cash for laundry#once I’m in my apartment I can start screaming while I clean up a week’s worth of dishes and trash#so help me god if I go to the dmv tomorrow with every piece of paper work the dealership gave me AND their website pulled up saying what#documents I need as proof I have the right shit and they’re still difficult#I might actually finally well and truly snap and do something that ends with me having an arrest warrant#but ya know#I’m fine#just trying not to lose it and start yelling at some random coworker for daring to chat with me rn#kaz rambles
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