#i’ll probably redesign them all quite a bit as i listen

[illucescere]

taz balance relisten hell yeah

[myfeetkeepdancing]

Charmed | Peter Parker x Male!Reader

Just to clarify, this is written with Peter being 18+ 

Requested by: @headmastermephistopheles 

Request: Could I request a peter parker x a playerish stark male reader? where the reader used to have a lot of guys and girls at his feet but when he moves to his fathers place , his bold honesty and charming charisma makes peter fall hard for him like super hard. Smut if possible ! I adore peter parker and you're amazing at writing about him so thank you for all the stories!

Words: 4468

Warning: Smut

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"Captain." Extending a hand towards Steve. "Good seeing you again."

"Likewise, (Y/N)." Receiving a firm handshake in return. "You do know, you can call me Steve? Right?" Giving you a kind smile.

"I do. But I respect your rank." Giving him a salute. "And your service."

"You really do have the charm of your father." Patting you on the shoulder.

"Don't let him hear that. But thanks, Captain."

You hear him chuckle a little. "Enjoy your stay here." As he holds the door open for you. "If there's anything I can do, please do come by."

"I'll find my way. Thank you." Walking down the hall, you pass all sorts of the nametags of Avengers. The doors were quite far apart from each other. So the rooms had to be huge, you wonder. You can't help but chuckle to yourself as you walk these halls. Being Tony's son does mean having certain perks. You just seem so terribly out of place. Seeing you're far from an Avenger. No superpowers. Or special abilities. No suit of armor.

Although you've heard some things about a certain security and safety protocol. Making the chance very likely that there was a suit of armor with your name on it. But you wouldn’t jump into one out of free will. Absolutely not.

After finishing your studies. Going abroad, traveling the world, you naturally rolled into working for Stark Industries while exploring the many wonders of the world. You eventually end up here. In the Avengers tower.

A welcoming 'committee' awaited your arrival. With most of the Avengers present, you catch up with them. You've known them for almost your entire life. Growing up with Tony meant having the Avengers in the background. They were all kind and friendly to you. And you experienced the highs and lows as well. Although from the sideline. You looked up to them. To their work. Their loyalty and service to the world. An incredible burden.

With a bag slung over your shoulder, you set out for your room. Tony had everything arranged ahead. Luggage moved in. Redesigned the interior. Knowing him, he probably overdid himself again. Going complete overboard with everything. But finding the room was another thing. It's been years since you've been here. Even the tower itself had an extensive rebuild. Feeling your phone buzzing, on the verge of picking up. Your eyes spot someone at the elevator. Rocking back and forth on the heels of his foot. Eyes plastered to his phone.

"Spiderboy!" You jokingly call him, laying your hand on his shoulder.

"Wha-! Wow." He jump scares almost a feet away from you. "H-Hey!" Cracking a smile on his face as he realizes who you were. "(Y/N)"

"I'm sorry." You smiled, reaching him a hand. "You must be Peter."  

"Parker… P-Peter Parker." Shaking your hand, looking at you with big eyes. "Nice meeting you."

"Likewise, Peter." Silencing your buzzing phone. "I'm (Y/N), but you already knew that." You smile. "I've heard a lot about you, Peter. Tony is ecstatic about you."

"Are you k-…? Really?!"

"Yeah, Tony’s quick with words, but slow with feelings and such. But he honestly adores you. You have to see through his jokes and sarcasm."

Peter only nods, clamping his laptop under his other arm. Readjusting the bag on his shoulder. Listening carefully to every word you say.

"Sarcasm and wittiness isn't always the right approach, you know." Both of your attention gets drawn to the lift doors closing. "Sorry, buddy, but you just missed your ride."

"It's fine. Don't worry." He smiled. "Bus won't be here in 32 minutes."

"So, do you live in the tower as well?" Pressing the elevator button for Peter. As he's too occupied listening to you.

"N-No, I… eh live with my aunt downtown."

"How nice." Sounding a bit too bitter to your liking. You just wish he lived here. Being able to spend some time with someone your age, instead of all the 'older' Avengers. "You're heading there right now?"

He nods quickly. "You?"

"Well, I'll be fair to you." Leaning into him, as if you're going to reveal a big secret. "I was on my way to my room. But I can't find it." Scratching the back of your head.

"I know where it is." He lively springs into action.

"Wonderful, could you show me?"

"This way." He beamed, proudly walking in front of you. Occasionally glancing over his shoulder.

"So… Anything big happening here at the weekends?"

"Not much. From time to time, the Avengers share a drink on the top floor. But things are calm these days." He stops at a door with your name on it. You caught yourself to not paying any attention to the route Peter took. Not where it was located opposite to the previously seen rooms.

"Thank you, Peter." Unlocking the room. Hanging your coat beside the door. Peter looking on, staring into the room. Large pane windows, pretty much the same as Tony's own room. Luxuries and grand.

"Oh, well then. I better be going." Checking the time on his phone. "See you around."

"Peter." You call out to him, "What will you be doing this weekend?"  Taking your place against the doorpost. Sheathing your hands in your pockets.

"M-Me?" He stutters, completely caught off guard by your question. You notice he's avoiding your eye contact the whole time. A blush coloring his cheeks. Staring down the hallway. "I… ehm."

"Attending any parties?"

"No-No-No, I'm not much of a party going type. Do you want to go to a party?"

"I prefer not to." You confess. "I was hoping to do something with you."

"Okay, okay." His smile growing wider and wider. "What are you thinking of?"

"I dunno. What do you usually do on the weekend?" You return the question. From this distance, you could almost hear his brain. "Except for saving the city as Spiderman, of course." Shooting him a playful wink.

Peter's face shoots bright red. With his hand, he rubs his cheeks and mouth, trying to hide his glowing red face.

"Here." Handing him your business card. "Think about it. If you don't want-..."

"Of course, I want to. But, I...ehm am running late." Glancing at his wrist while he definitely wore no watch. Starting to walk off.

"You know where to find me." You sniffle and wave him goodbye.

"Bye, mister Sta-... (Y/N)! Storming around the corner. Noticing his happy skip jump as he races off towards the elevator. You can't help but smile at his cuteness. It was only a few minutes ago he guided you to your room. His bus wasn't due to arrive in more than 25 minutes, you guess. You let him have his moment. He looked so nervous. You have to admit, you experience a bit of nerve and flutters in your stomach as well.

You spend the rest of the evening in the lounge area with a couple of Avengers. Sharing a few beers, hearing their stories, and play some games. Your phone was never quiet, but tonight you had to check every single notification. Peter still prominently present in the back of your mind. Eagerly awaiting his message.

Your heart skipped a beat, seeing his name pop up on your screen. The fact you had Peter's number already in your phone, gave away the illusion you had no interest in him. You heard the stories about Peter. You had seen the pictures. You didn’t fool yourself. And Tony didn’t lock any of his computers around the house either, so you fished Peter’s number out of there with ease. His profile picture enough to give you the jitters.

Peter was way more talkative via messenger. The conversation lasting long into the evening. Chatting about anything, really. Of course, a Spiderman patrol selfie to top it off. In the end, you set the date. Not like a date. With romance and all that. None of it. At least that’s what you keep telling yourself. Tomorrow he’s coming over, and together you've decided to call it a movie night. That's what he usually does on Saturday’s he said. So that’s what it was. Not at his aunt’s house. Not in the lounge. In your room. And for the first, in a long time, you’re feeling actual nervous.

The next day, just around the clock of six in the evening, your watch signals you that Peter had entered the building. All those handy tech bits came off good use. Apparently, you could set a notification as soon as a biometric scan noticed a specific person entering the building. And yes, Tony had given you a witty remark for only checking Peter’s box. But who’s to blame. He designed the system in the first place. For that remark, he didn’t have an answer at the ready.

“You look nice.” Peter murmured, adjusting the bag over his shoulder. Scrapping his voice a little.

“Thanks.” You give him a kind smile. “You too. Classy.” You compliment him. “Come in, make yourself at home.” Peter again takes in the room after a few steps in, looking in awe at the view and luxuries interior. Modern and spacious. But also a tad bit too large for a person your age.

"Dressed for something special?" He has a slight stutter to his voice. "A party?"

"It's pretty much the same as yesterday, I believe." Checking your clothing, as if there's something off. “But to answer your question. No. No parties. I don’t like them that much.”

“But you’ve partied almost everywhere across the world. If I can believe the pictures…”

“You right. But the thing is, you’re invited by influential people because of your name. You're more of a statement. Doesn't make it as entertaining as it looks."

"Why don't you decline them? Be honest about it. They get pretty wild, I've heard." His face coloring red at the thought.

"Sometimes, there's more at stake than what I want at the moment." You sigh, raking your fingers through your hair. "Oh well. I've ordered pizza in." Trying to shift the attention of the conversation. Getting a thumbs up from him as he connects his laptop. “Beer?”

"Yes, please." He kindly nods, looking up from his laptop.

"Peter, you don't have to say please for everything." Patting him on his shoulder. Seating yourself beside him on the couch. "Cheers, buddy." Ringing your bottle against his.

You see a surprising look, turn into a broad smile. "C-Cheers."

The couch was surprisingly large, especially for the two of you. How you wished you could crawl against him. Your thoughts often drift away from the movie you were watching. You and Peter falling in conversations about anything. Absolutely anything. He was smart, really smart. Had an interest in loads of things. Shared a lot of interests with you.

His body language changed visibly during the course kf the evening. As soon as his shoes came off, making himself really comfortable on the couch, you knew he felt at home. Making remarks, and funny jokes about anything and anyone. You’re drawn to each other. There was no other way to describe it. Your moments of eye contact were uneasy at the beginning. Especially for him. But that changed the later the evening progressed. Not one moment of silence dropped into the conversation. Peter told his stories. His experiences with becoming a member of the Avengers. Tales about Tony. But was interested in your stories, worries, and concerns. Peter was a damn good listener. You had to excuse yourself to Peter for a moment and step into the room nearby. For most of the evening, you've been pressing calls away. But not this one. In all, it takes not more than ten minutes before returning.

“Sorry, European client.” You excuse yourself. “Time zones and all that.” Seating yourself beside him again. Laying your arm to rest on the back of the couch. All comfortable and relaxed.

“I couldn’t understand a single word you were saying.” He giggles. "But it sounded kinda funny."

“It's the Dutch language. It's strange in their own unique ways. I'll teach you the basics sometime. Could come in handy someday."

“Awesome. You have an idea how long will you be staying?”

"Yeah, well the thing is, I haven't talked about it with Tony." You confess. "I've made quite a few international contacts by now. And there's still a lot to gain there. For a bit, it depends on what Tony has in mind."

“You don’t have a say in that?”

“You know how persuasive he is. Before you know it I’m back across the ocean.”

"Anyway." Rising to your feet. "In for another?" You intended to reach for his empty bottle. But are stopped by him. A firm grasp holds your wrist in place. You look at him in surprise. But you don't meet eye to eye. His head hanging downcast.

"Don't…" He muttered. "D-Don't go…" His hand feeling clammy and warm on your skin. You notice a slight tremble to his grip. His breathing heavy.

"It's… just the freezer." You try to lighten the mood. "But-..."

"No, it's n-not-…" He jumps up to his feet. “N-Not that…” Visibly swallowing the lump in his throat. "Please don't go." Taking a step closer, closing the distance between the two of you. Sad looking puppy eyes meet yours.

"P-Peter…" You stutter, followed by a shuddering breath. "Are you…" Your head is fuzzy, spinning, overwhelmed by your feelings.

Peter just nods with those big puppies eyes staring into your soul. Drawing you in closer. You turn into him, closing the distance. Peter was just a little bit shorter than you. And in slow motion, you close in on his lips. You bring your hand up to cup his cheek. Peter leaning, his hand reaching for the back of your neck. Lips meeting in the middle. It's soft. It's slow. It's sweet. It’s everything you wanted. It's breathtaking. Your bodies finding each other. Pressed against one another.

"P-Peter...?" “Y-You… ehm….” Red flooding your cheeks. You both stare at each other, hesitant on the next move. “Wow... A… S-Stark isn't quickly rendered speechless... B-But, this…." You nod. "T-this does…it”

"I want you to stay (Y/N). Really… R-Really want you to." His hands reaching for the first buttons of your blouse.

You cup both his cheeks and kiss him again. More violent than before. Resting your foreheads for a moment against each other. "Peter…?" You stammer. “You… really wanna do this?

He pushes you onto the couch, a force you couldn't possibly stop. Seating himself on your lap. With a simple nod, he takes off his blouse. Revealing his masculine body. Leaving you gazing at the irresistible shape of his body. Feeling yourself growing. You snap out of it the moment you see him open his belt, tugging to open his pants. Revealing his underwear, stretched by his length. Your hands slowly caress down the side of his figure. Captivated by his physique.

His lips smack onto yours, one hand on his length. Peter moaning into the kiss. The other arm wrapped around your neck. Grinding against one another for a while. Until you replace his fingers with yours on his cock. Making him groan harder than before. Stuttering your name as you stroke his member slow and steady. His head falling to the crook of your neck. You feel his trembling fingers work with your buttons on your blouse. Forcing you to go bare chest. "I want you (Y/N)." He moaned in your ear. His voice commanding, almost hypnotic. Making you shudder to your very being. Peter was irresistible right now. Too cute for words. Grinding his hips into your grasp, but also against your groin.

"I need you, Peter."

"L-Let's do it." He pants, struggling to get his pants off. And as soon as he gets his off, he looks at you, before loosening yours. Releasing your raging boner into the wild. Seating himself back onto you. You try to grind both cocks in your hands. But Peter has a different idea, flipping on his back. He wanted more.

“C-Can you…” He moans. “-touch me?” You sink deeper into the couch by his weight pressing down on you, angling your hips forward. As Peter climbs on top of you, anchoring his right arm around your neck. And resting his warm, masculine back against your body. Resting himself on top of you gave you such a beautiful view down his abs, onto his erection. He slowly sinks down, his ass cheeks guiding its way to your cock. You feel yourself harden even more. At this point, despite his enthusiasm, you can tell he’s nervous. “Are you sure about this, Peter?” Pressing gentle kisses down the side of his neck. Letting your fingers brush every inch of his skin. Peter completely lost in bliss by your touch. Whimpering as you caress his abs and pecs. You realize you’ve never been harder before.

"Y-Yeah…" He pants. "I want you…" Tilting his head towards you, searching for your lips, kissing you slow and passionate. "Yes… (Y/N). Please."

With one hand, you slick your length nice and wet. Making yourself ready for him. You watch for Peter's reaction as you place your tip at his hole. Pushing lightly against the resistance. Peter just moans, closing his eyes. Shuddering on top of you.  

"Talk to me." You whisper. "Does it hurt?" You watch him smile in response. Spreading his legs a bit further.

"N-No, it feels really good." He grins. "It… turns me on." Biting his lower lip.

"Good…" You stroke his length a few times. Making him whimper by your touch. Peter, on top of you, made you feel his every shudder and shake. Giving you a perfect insight into his level of pleasure. "Enjoy it." Before continuing to rub your tip along his ass cheeks. Softening up his flesh. With your fingers, you try to pry his little hole open a bit. Making it wet and ready.

"Put it in me..." He asks, breathing somewhat heavy.

You begin to push against his resistance. Trying to fit in the first few inches. You steady him on top of you. Watching his masculine torso heave up and down made you even harder.

"That’s it…!" He groans hard. "I... c-can feel you." He gasps. His ass cheeks clenching around your tip the moment you enter. Gripping around your tip tightly. You have to calm yourself down, closing your eyes, holding down your breath. Feeling his sphincter grip you so tightly was difficulty not cum already.

From your point of view, you can already see the sweat glistening on his body. You slowly begin to ease into him, your hand kneading into his chest, trying to make him relax. “It's so big…” He groans.

“It’s alright, Peter.” You keep touching him, softening him up. “Keep breathing.” He begins to push down on your cock. All without your help. Forcing you to slide deeper into him. His insides are warm and welcoming, the sensation enveloping. You halt for a moment, rubbing softly on his skin. Seeing his nipples rock hard turns you on incredibly. "How's that feel?"

"A…mazing." He gasps, his head falling backward. "G-Give it to me… please…"

“I’m going slow, Pete.” As you begin to move, his face a mix of pain and, seemingly, a bit of pleasure changes to a wide-open gasping mouth.

His breathing hitches with each thrust, you bring your mouth to his chest. With your tongue, teasing his chest. Stroking your tongue along his rippling chest. Circling his nipple, flicking it, before taking in-between your lips. Slowly suckling down onto it. Gasps of pleasure echo from his mouth as you continue by teasing his body.  

Despite his soft moans, seeing Peter this flustered on top of you actually makes him look even cuter. You can tell he’s feeling good. His face contorted in what you can tell is pure pleasure. Whatever you’re doing seems to be working as his ass tightens on you. “You’re doing great, Peter.”

Going faster, his grip around your neck strengthens. You feel him shudder, his ass tightening up on you. “It… feel so good.” He groans loudly. “I… can’t hold it… much longer…”

"Shoot it for me." You moan into his ear. While you watch him stroke his cock. His movement become jolted and irregular. You run your hands gently along with his abs, your mouth giving long, luscious sucks on his nipples. Peter was one panting mess, he loved his body being touched like this.

"I… I can't…" He stutters, his arms falling to his side. You watch as his cock twitch at each of your thrusts. You seize the moment and wrap your fingers around his meaty length. You have to be careful not to cum yourself already. Touching him like this. Sliding the wet ridges of his cock through your hand.

"Cum for me." You continue to tease him. "I want to see you covered in it, Peter."

His eyes widened in disbelief. Watching you as one panting and moaning mess. Desperate for release.

"Drench that beautiful body." That single comment made him clench around you tight. You see his toes curl, hip bucking against yours. Shaking. Shuddering. Accompanied by a loud growl of release and pleasure. He jolts forwards, gasping for air. As you thrust deep into him again and again. Your strokes on his cock, matching your thrusts. Feeling his cock spasm in your hand. Releasing a jet of cum on himself. Each push of your length, making him squirt more and further. Draining every drop from him. Until he falls back into your embrace. Spent and satisfied. Panting long and hard with his eyes shut tight. His body covered in wetness. Small trembles follow. His hand running across his muscled body. Feeling the wetness.

"Fuck…" You breathe heavily. Trying to hold it together. "That was hot." Connecting your lips with his shoulder and neck. Your tongue catching the taste of his wetness.

"I love you…" He says in a shuddering voice. "So… m-much." The largest smile stretching across his face. Kissing you slow and sensual.

His rolling hips distracted you immediately from continuing to grace his warm skin with your lips.   "A-Are you close?" He whispers to you.

"Yeah." You nod enthusiastically. Clenching your hands tight on his body. All warm and wet. Using whatever strength you have left to push him up and down your cock. You watch in amazement how his muscles stretch and bulge. Tense and relax. The size of his those thighs. The rippling muscles beneath the touch of your finger. God, he is so masculine, so complete. You feel overwhelmed. Short of breath. His proportions leaving you speechless.

Peter may be a bit inexperienced at it. But at this moment. This movement. The roll of his hips. Slow and steady. The angle on which he grinds down on your cock. So smooth and sensual. Swirling your cock through his wet, stretched insides. His flesh squeezing around your rock hard, pulsing member. Hugging it like you never felt before. While his breath fanned across your skin. Softly stifling groans by your penetration. Hugging you close.

"Keep going…" You groan. "Just like that…" Feeling your climax rise quick. Peter's insides felt smoother than before. You can't help but praise him more and more. Guiding you closer to your climax. The sight of his cock stiffening before you, makes you reach your high in no-time. Announced by a groan of pleasure and ecstasy, a load of cum erupts from your cock. You pull him close against you. Rutting into him. Filling his insides with your warm load.

Only the sound of heavy breathing, licking of lips, and tired moans. Followed by a burst of giggles. Peter still on top. You wrap your arms around his torso. Slowly sliding flat onto the couch. "Peter…" You whisper. "Something sparked yesterday, didn't it?" Biting your lower lip as he looks up at you with this cute smile. "I mean… look at that smile.” Your fingers gently playing with his ravaged curls.

He rolls onto your chest, laying his head to rest on his crossed arms. Releasing a content sigh. Dreamy eyes staring at you. "You make me smile (Y/N)." One finger tracing the lines of your collarbone.

You just love looking at him like this. Watching him absentmindedly circle his fingers on your skin. "I've grown to love you (Y/N). Everything about you is perfect. Your charm, your smile. You as a person. You're perfect in every way." Slight blushes forming on his cheeks. "I feel nervous, just looking at you." He giggles softly.

"Peter…" Cupping his cheek. "You're not the only one." Pressing your lips on his. "I love you so much."

“Will you tell mister St-…” He stops mid-sentence, his eyes glance up at you for a second. Realizing his mistake, as his smile grew larger. “-your dad about us? And your plans?”

"Yes… Yes, I will." For a moment, your thoughts wander off, imagining a rather uncomfortable conversation with Tony about you and Peter. "I know what I want." Brushing a few curls from his forehead, as Peter is obsessed with tracing his finger on your body. “Can you promise me one thing, Peter?”

“Wh-…?” Rising from your chest, seeing a bit of worry in your expression. “What is it, (Y/N)?”

“Please be safe.”

“I always am.” He smiles thinly. “Especially now that I have you.”

“For real, Peter. The Spider-Man stuff scares me.

“You really are the sweetest, (Y/N).” Peter shuffles closer onto you, leaning in to press a kiss on your lips. “I know what you mean. But don’t you worry. I’ll be extra careful.”

"I fear the day you don’t come home, Peter. I've seen it with my dad. I… I just want you to be safe… with me.” Pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Will you promise me you'll stay here?" Before you want to answer his question, his finger silences your lips. "Yes, or No?" He smiles.

"Yes… I'll stay here… If you come live with me." You watch his reaction, his smile growing. "Can you imagine comin-..."

Mid-sentence your cut off by his lips on yours. Passionate and strong. His hands holding onto your cheeks.

“Yes…” He mutters into the kiss with a big smile. “I… want… nothing more… than…to be …with you… every… single… day.” His body grinding against yours. Feeling him grow. "I want to be with you (Y/N).” Seeing the goosebumps rise on your skin, his hands roving on your skin. “You like that?” He smirks. Continuing to tease you.

"I like you, Peter." You groan by his tease. "With the whole of my heart." Tossing him on his back on the couch. Peter being much stronger, rolled you back.

“Let’s go to… our bedroom.” His smirks.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

Been thinking about the timeline... I know oKAY I KNOW... but listen isn’t it possible it has been three years? Maybe each season is 6 months long. In that case, Patrick comes into the picture about 1 year and 3 months into it. So that would almost make David/Patrick comments about “2 years” kinda make sense because by season 6 they’d have been together like a year and a half plus so maybe they’re rounding? Okay okay I know I’m wrong but I just want to to make sense!!!

honestly, running with about 6 months per season does probably work the best in a very general sense. but ultimately there are some things that support that and some that don’t, which is pretty much true of every way you try to look at the timeline.

i’m pretty sure we can at least accept that the first two seasons take place over about a year. (a year ago we had a staff of 25… / ronnie says you’ve only lived here a year / are you complaining about the quality of the free lodging i’ve arranged for you this past year? / this is the first real money we’ve seen in a year.) there’s not a whole lot within those two seasons to contradict that, so we can run with that.

johnny says in murder mystery it’s been 3 years since he played a round of golf, but okay, maybe he hadn’t played in a while even before they lost their money. i’ll let that one slide.

another point in your favor is ronnie telling moira in stop saying lice! that she still has 3 ½ more years on council. it’s been about a season since she was elected to her 4 year term then, so that pans out. 

but then moira says in dead guy in room 4 that she’s endured a cornucopia of trauma the last few years, which……. is definitely a stretch if we’re looking at about a year and a half there.

david says in girls’ night that it’s been a year since ted and alexis split, which works in your favor as well. 

but then just 8 episodes later, ted tells alexis he’s thought about kissing her every day for the last two years. maybe he’s rounding up, but i definitely don’t like it lol. 

in that same vein, joan says in sebastien raine that she’s been trying to set ted up with her granddaughter for 2 years, but it’s pointless because she’s not alexis, which implies that ted and alexis have been split for 2 years at that point. however, their split had happened not quite 2 seasons ago by that episode, which should only be a year if we’re running with the season = 6 months theory. maybe she was trying to set him up with her granddaughter starting before alexis came along, but that’s not really the implication of this line.

in mcjr, johnny says this is their third christmas in sc. IF they originally moved to sc right before christmas, it can conceivably be about two years at this point. however, nothing about any of the first few episodes of the show is conceivably wintery, so this one really takes some suspension of disbelief on that front. (nevermind the fact that none of the other episodes from what would presumably be their second christmas there around the end of s2/start of s3 mention anything at all about winter, christmas, hanukkah, etc either. it is truly eternally summer in sc, which adds to how fake time feels at any given point lol.)

over the course of s4, jocelyn has a baby, so presumably s4 is prob a bit longer than 6 months. david and patrick’s 4 month anniversary happens right at the halfway point, so let’s say maybe the season is closer to 8 months long, which is plausible. that’s not terribly far off of 6 months, but just something to keep in mind.

roland jr is then implied to be 8 months old as of love letters, which means that 8 months have passed between then and singles week.

in that case we’re looking at 8 months for s4 (minus mcjr), 8 months between seasons (including mcjr), and let’s go back to 6 months again for s5. so by the end of s5 we’re conceivably at 3 years and 4 months in sc. 

johnny partners with stevie on the motel in new car, and in the hospies he says it’s been a couple of years’ work. as long as we’re remembering the gap between the season’s there, i think that’s fine. we’re looking at just about two seasons, but plus the extra 8 months between, yeah, that’s 2ish years.

david says in liac that he went to fill out his business license two years ago. that’s about the same time frame as the previous johnny/stevie point, so i’ll allow it.

s6 goes and makes everything a little weird because somehow the first 6 episodes supposedly take place over the course of a month since it’s all before alexis’s flight is supposed to leave. that’s a weird shift from the other seasons, but if it’s not terribly long after that johnny says they’ve been staying in the motel for the last 3 years, he’s not that far off. we’d be at 3 years, 5 months or so by the middle of s6, so presumably it’s at least not quite 4 years yet by the time johnny says it, so i’ll give it to him.

those are the really broad strokes of the timeline. as you can see, there are a few things that we have to kind of sweep under the rug–which is the way the timeline always works–but some of them are at least more vague as markers anyway, so if you want to run with the 6 month theory, as long as you extend s4 by a couple months, it probably does work the best out of any fixed-length per season option.

however, it’s really when you get down into some of the details that things start to give you a headache. for instance, i wrote a whole entire primer on s4′s issues with david’s brithday and jocelyn’s pregnancy here, so feel free to dive into that if you’d like to pull your own hair out lol. those are really the kinds of things we’re talking about when we joke about the timeline being a disaster. 

ALSO something else i didn’t get into in that post is that rachel says in the barbecue that she’s trying to win her fiance back 6 months later. david and patrick have been dating for 4 months at that point. so in the 2 months before that, patrick apparently left his fiance, moved to a new town, started a new job, met the love of his life, decided to invest in his new business, applied for grants (and received them), helped get everything ready for the soft launch, and finally once their store is up and running asked his business partner out on a date. i’m not saying it’s impossible for that to have happened over 2 months–well no actually i am saying it’s impossible, lolol. the grants alone would take at least that long lmao. even if we’re running with the 6 months per season, that’s about half a season or 3 months, and that’s still awfully quick for alla that to happen. yeah yeah, suspension of disbelief, yadda yadda yadda, but i’m just saying there are a lot of spots that we have to kind of wave our hands at to make whichever timeline of your choice work.

also there’s the june 22 open mic poster in the bathroom at the apothecary, which adds a whole other conundrum because if it’s for the original open mic, which has to take place between david’s birthday and their 4 month anniversary, that only really works if david’s birthday is in april or so, which does not at all work with alexis graduating on his birthday or any of the numbers he gives. and if it’s for another upcoming open mic night, that means it has to be sometime before june 22 in roadkill when we see the poster, which is about 2/3 of the way into the season, making the start of the season february-ish? but that doesn’t even come close to working with an 8 month time jump between mcjr and love letters. in that case love letters has to take place in june, but then randomly 2/3 of a season later there’s a june event poster in their [recently redesigned] bathroom??? that seems to imply that maybe it really is a poster for the original open mic night, but as i just said, there are issues with making that theory work as well.

(and that’s just the actual time in sc timeline. i didn’t even touch on moira’s career timeline or how long she and johnny have been married, where over the course of just s5 and s6, we’ve gotten we’re still here 35 years later / after an award-worthy trilogy of decades together / your father and i have produced beautiful wine together for over forty years.)

so again, yes, i think in broad strokes you can kinda run with each season being about 6 months or so if that’s what you want to go with, but there are certainly things you have to ignore to make that work. 

and that’s just how the timeline is.

[oneshotnewbie]

Hey! Can you make a oneshot where baby danvers is like 16 or so and lives with Kara and Alex because Eliza died and they didn't wanted to have her in an foster family again? The woman from the youth welfare office comes home to them and ask them questions/look everything up and is unsure of her decision because both of her sisters work full time in and one of them is in a dangerous work and she thinks that they have no time for b!d? You can decide the end 🥰

Request 2: Can you do a oneshot where b!d is a teenager and Eliza dies unexpectedly so she has to move to National City tp live with her sisters?

A/N: I combined two requests in one because they both were the same. I hope you like it! 

Words: 1.724 

---

After your mother died in the lab due to a deadly misfortune, you couldn’t stay in Midvale longer and you have to get out of your house where you spent your whole life.

Beautiful but also bad memories tormented you in this house and it still hurt to connect them with your mother.

You had to get out of there, even the sight that once was so colour- and powerful was just a black and white and brought tears to your every time.

Also, the sight of old family photos, with Jeremiah, Eliza and you sisters on the terrace, the first one you actually shot when Kara came to earth, hurt and your sisters held them back from you, even if you would like to see them more than anything else and grieve.

They wanted to spare you the pain; these wounds were still too fresh. It was only a few weeks ago when you saw your mother for the last time, and you felt guilty.

Because on this day you argued with her before you went out the door to school and leaving her alone, standing by herself in the middle of the living room.

If only you had told her how much you love her, at least this one time.

----

It was one of the most important days in your life. Today decided if you could stay with your sisters or you had to go to a children’s home.

It was almost time; the woman form the youth welfare office had registered for today.

None of you could close your eyes tonight, no one could eat the breakfast in front of them and the fear was written on your sisters faces.

Kara had freed herself after talking to Lena about it today and was more than happy to know that when someone needed Supergirl, J’onn jumped in for her by turning into her and Lena also stood by her side.

Also Alex was not in the DEO today; too important was the appointment any you.

“I swear, when this is over and everything goes well, I’ll get drunk.” stated the eldest as she got up and left you both alone at the dining table.

You and your other sister started smiling even if you both didn’t feel like it. It still brought a smile to your face.

However, this was again driven away from the fear and panic in you. What if the woman tears you away from you sisters and puts you back in another family?

You wouldn’t go through that again.

You also stood up and put your food in the oven for later if you would get hungry.

Tears has built in your eyes, your hands balled into fist as you tried to fight against your emotions. But you lost.

Quickly you went to Kara who was still sitting at the table, with her thoughts probably completely elsewhere when you felt her jumping a bit while you hugged her as hard as possible.

As fast and well she could, she stood up with you, not letting you go. She turned to face you since you hugged her from behind. Now the tears ran unhindered down your cheeks and lay down on the blouse of the blonde.

She stroked gently over your head while she rocked you. The other arm wrapped around your shoulders and pressed you tightly against her.

“I’m so scared; I don’t want to lose you both.” You admitted between sobs.

“Shh, everything will be fine, you will stay with us, and we will do anything for it.”

You stood there for quite a time when you heard the squeak of the bathroom door in which Alex had recently disappeared. Small and soft footsteps sounded on the floor before they became louder with each step until they finally stopped.

You felt an warm embrace around you before a warm hand ran up and down your lower back and you couldn’t do anything than let out even more and stronger sobs as you clung to Kara even more.

“What happened?” the redhead asked in shock.

“Nothing, she is scared to lose us.”

Immediately Kara broke away from you and Alex came to the fore. One arm wrapped around your hips and together you walked to the couch where she sat you in and kneeled in front of you while Kara sat down next to you, rubbing little circles on your thigh.

The DEO agent cupped your face in her hands and looked deep into your eyes as she wiped your tears from your face with her thumb pads.

“Listen, to me kid. You will not lose us and you will certainly not be taken away from us either. We will prove to the know-it-all lady that we are good enough to take care of you. You have everything you need here, you have the superfriends which are your family who are fighting with us and even if that doesn’t work, we still have an ace up in our sleeve.”

You didn’t really wonder about the last sentence, your sisters always had a plan B and you knew that so you just nodded and looked at her. Your badass agent was close to tear up and you saw how much she fought and yet she didn’t show her true emotions and stood strong like you should be in this moment.

“Now stop crying because you will make me cry and I don’t want that cause we are strong. We are the Danvers sisters, we are stronger together.” She paused a moment. “And these two faces here,” she started, pointing with her forefinger at Kara’s and her face, “you will never get rid of those two faces. Never”

You looked between the two, sighed and started smiling. They always knew how to make you feel better.

Kara smiled back and Alex sat down next to the blonde, held her arms open, indicating you that you could sit on her lap if you wanted.

And of course you wanted. You three got into a hug. You lay on Alex while Kara was half on you, hugging you from behind. You quietly listened to the calming heartbeats and tried to calm yourself down with it.

After a few minutes from being in this position, the bell made you fell into reality again; you were so caught up in that moment that you almost jumped. Once again you all smiled at each other and nodded before Kara opened the door with Superspeed and the lady in front of you appeared.

“Good morning, my name is Mira Thompson. I’m from social services and had signed up a few days ago by calling you.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Thompson. I’m Kara Danvers and that’s Alex, my sister. Please come in.”

---

It was a long two hours of overpower and tension. Of talking and convincing. Of hope and fear.

The woman was hard to crack and you couldn’t see through her exactly.

Kara tried to buy her with coffee and cake, showed her the double bright side of her and showed her around the apartment that your two sisters had together.

She also looked at your newly redesigned room which you designed with the red and blond haired like you wanted. She paid close attention to the relationship between each of you, her eyes kept on moving to you and your charisma, how you behaved and how you looked between them.

She kept emphasizing how neat and tidy it was here and how happy you were, how your eyes radiated and your lips formed into a smile over and over again when your sisters where around and also the conversation that you had to take with her alone was good in your opinion.

That’s what you hoped, at least.

Again and again she wrote down note on her iPad which gave you panic but your sisters where there for you. She let Alex and Kara go through the toughest questions, hoping that the two would answer them correctly and to the taste of Mrs. Thompson.

“As far as I see this here, you’re in good hands, the confirmation that you already have some friends here and the papers that confirm that you have already found a school on which you could go soon would be nothing to restrict you from living with your sisters.” She started the conversation when you were called down and sat down between your sisters. “But..”

“But what? I thought everything is fine?” you asked nervously, your voice almost trembling.

“Kara works at the biggest media center in the world and often needs to be away in other cities for researches and interviews and Alex works at the FBI, which is certainly not without, I would worry that you would be alone too long or Alex would get hurt or worse while working.”

You swallowed hard and were unable to say anything, was it over now?

“We can assure you that we will be there for her whenever she needs us, we have good bosses who are our friends too and they would surely turn a blind eye when they now that Y/N is sick or otherwise.” Alex took over rudder while you collected your thoughts and emotions.

“Our friends we’ve been telling you about are taking care of her as well and would continue to do so – they’re are her family. Our family.” Kara intervened in the conversation.

“If that is so..” the woman stood up and you three followed her movements. “I would be ready to file in the documents and register you both as her legal guardians.” She smiled slightly and you were overwhelmed.

So overwhelmed that the tears started to ran down again and you fell around Alex’s neck while Kara accompanied her thankfully to the door and said goodbye.

After the door locked, you were still snuggled up to Alex and looked at Kara.

“We have to celebrate this. I will call everyone.” Said the blonde in a squeaky voice; cheering at the door and jumping around like a small child.

You couldn’t believe it. You did it.

For days there was a stone on your chest that made breathing a difficult task and a tornado raging in you. But you finally did it and you felt free.

You were allowed to stay with your family.

[throw-away-world]

Beyond Healing

Title: Beyond Healing

Pairing: Crowley x Aziraphale

Genre: Romance/Angst/Comfort

Summary: “Listen, Aziraphale,” He pauses because Crowley would only ever use his name when it is really serious, “You can’t keep running away from your feelings. I know that we used to consider a lot of things. But those days are over. Over, Aziraphale. What we have to do now is to be fucking honest. Because honestly, honestly, honestly, I love you so much. So much. If you think I regretted choosing you then you’re bloody wrong. Because I’ll choose you again and again even if you stop choosing yourself. I’ll choose you for the both of us.”

Note: Or the time Aziraphale almost gets eaten by his anxiety and paranoia. And they’re just a mess of emotions.

oOo

There is nothing in the world that Crowley could ever love besides Aziraphale. Perhaps, it is a caving ache within his chest, feelings not meant for a demon oozing out from every crevice of his whole being, bleeding for even a drop of the angel’s love. Perhaps, it is an undeniable truth plastered in every news if he could, just for Aziraphale to look at and end up thinking something entirely else. Perhaps, it is a miserable punishment, to love with every fiber of his soul, only to end up being denied.

Crowley could not count on his hands anymore how many times he has offered himself for Aziraphale—how many times he would choose the angel over the very essence of his redesigned existence just to keep his gaze, to stay by his side.

It is laughably wretched how for many a short moment he would see Aziraphale almost becomes unravel with his affections, only to see him take a hundred steps back—afraid, always frightened by things he gets himself ruffled inside his head.

“Angel,” He utters quietly, stepping obediently back when Aziraphale flinches under his fingertips. Soft blue eyes closing sadly, anxiously, before darting open, left and right—almost in a panic. He took another step away, “Aziraphale.”

“I got to go.”

He watches him leave as he does so many times. He had gotten so familiar seeing Aziraphale’s back that it is downright wrenching—the empty popping space that surrounds him surreptitiously consumes him inside, a perfect mirror of the caving gravity his soul only ever experiences when his angel would turn away.

“What are you so afraid of?”

.

.

.

“Is it so disgusting realizing you love a demon?”

oOo

Aziraphale, perhaps, is an open book for anyone willing enough to read him. He is indeed a rather expressive being, always wearing his emotions on his sleeves when it is inappropriate. He wondered if Crowley could see.

There are not enough words in the vocabulary of humans to describe the depth of his love for the demon. He knew that once he truly accepted his feelings, he would be all over the place.

Perhaps, he would even suffocate Crowley with the amount of affections he harbors for him. Perhaps, once Crowley realizes how disgustingly in love he is, he would end up chasing him away. Perhaps, he, himself, would be suffocated by his bottomless affection for the demon—how heavily grounded he feels whenever he felt his eyes on him, how his stare would scorch his skin, mar it red with just his gaze, how he has to constantly refrain himself from glowing whenever Crowley is around lest he gave it all away, how his heart would just explode whenever the demon utters his name.

He imagines a lot of things with Crowley.

A soft atmosphere. A homey cottage. Hot teas. Candlelit dinners. Midnight picnics. Quiet murmurs. Hot touches. Genuine promises. Warm cuddles. An unravelling of existences under unadulterated love.

“Aziraphale.”

He turns and meets the glares of the Archangels he left behind.

“What are you doing here again, Gabriel? Perhaps, you are not done threatening me the other day?” He puts his bravado, disguising the churning in his stomach to the best of his ability. Gabriel huffs, crossing his arms, “We saw you again with that thing.”

“That thing has a name. He is Crowley.” He pauses before adding, “Anthony J. Crowley.”

“I don’t care.” Gabriel has always been an insufferable big man, always trying to direct things his way, “I warn you, Aziraphale, know that I’ll find ways to make your life miserable—take the most precious thing away from you and vanish it in front of your eyes. This is divine punishment.”

“Nothing about it is divine, Gabriel.” He counters, “Stop being a child. You keep telling me that for over two years already.”

“And I’ll keep reminding you, you disgrace.” With a whirl, they were gone and he is left alone once more.

He imagines a lot of things with Crowley.

One of which is Gabriel’s threat coming into fruition.

.

.

.

“I’m sorry, Crowley.”

oOo

The empty book shop was a dawning answer to Crowley.

Aziraphale left. No farewell. No letter. No warning. He left. He left. He left. The thought races continuously inside his head, a hollow echo mocking his shriveled disposition. He sees black, lips tightening, and he thumps and thumps away on his chest because it felt like he needed to breathe—he needed something inside his chest besides an erratic beating exploding inside him, choking him.

Hands finding their way to long red hair, yanking and yanking—the physical pain is nothing compared to the chaos he is feeling.

Suddenly, he wishes he burns down with the book shop. Maybe Aziraphale would come back to him then. If he knew that he is on the brink of death, probably, he could hear him say his confession—he needed to hear it just once if he could.

But Aziraphale left.

He left him.

That’s his answer.

.

.

.

“OI! A FUCKING BOTTLE HERE.”

“Sir, please. You have enough.”

“Enough? Enough?” He is near madness, hysterical, “I ought to be enough, ‘s what I am. But the bastard left. Left. Just like that. Enough, my arse. Fuck. Fuck. JUST FUCKING GREAT, AIN’T IT?”

oOo

Skittish.

That’s what he is. His silhouette would even startle him. It’s laughable. Truly. He couldn’t even be relaxed in his own home, his thoughts are quite frightening. He had to get away for a bit to clear his mind.

“Please, pray tell, why you seem to be coming over quite a lot, Mr. Fell?” Madame Tracy is a nice woman by all means. A little odd around the edges but she always means well. Their little friendship after the Armagedon’t has been flourishing splendidly to the point that visiting has become a norm.

Yet, he knows that visiting seven times a week is a bit quite too much. Performing a miracle just to transport himself in his hiding place and her house is exhausting but takes his mind off things.

“I’m sorry to disturb you on a fine afternoon, Madame Tracy,” Aziraphale started, wringing his hands in worry, “It seems that I am quite all over the place lately.”

“Oh my, whatever do you mean? Is this about Mr. Crowley?” The flinch gave him away and he sees the frown lightly marring Madame Tracy’s lips. He shrugs, “It’s not that… It’s just… I mean…”

“Does Mr. Crowley know?”

“Know what?”

“How you are feeling overwhelmed?” Her eyes were kind but stern, a sense of a motherly figure. He looks away in shame, hands altogether stopping from its tick. She walks towards him, hand gently caressing his hair in a reassuring manner.

“What is there to be overwhelmed, Mr. Fell?”

There are a lot of things, he thought. There are a lot of things he kept on stressing about. Many of them, if not all, involve Crowley. From a point to another point, he would round up to thinking about the demon. And about the fear that is keeping him grounded. Fear. What a monstrous thing to feel. Especially when it’s about losing someone.

“Everything.” He replied, “Oh, everything, Madame Tracy. I’m so very afraid. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him. Or if the angels harm him. Just thinking about it makes me lose myself.”

“You told me that you’re not on Heaven’s side anymore nor Mr. Crowley is on Hell’s. What is causing this fear?” She queried, her eyebrows shooting up in confusion. He shook his head, “I may be not on either side but the threats kept on coming. I can’t. I just can’t risk it.”

“What do you have to risk, Mr. Fell?”

“Crowley!” He frets, “I can’t risk him. He is everything to me. And Gabriel warned me—he warned me that he would take everything that is important to me. What if they already knew? They’re just waiting to strike. I just—oh, Madame Tracy, I can’t lose Crowley. I really can’t.”

“Dear boy,” She uttered, voice a lull in the afternoon rain, “do you love Mr. Crowley?”

“Yes.” He doesn’t hesitate in the face of a kind woman, awfully docile under her gaze, “Yes, I do.”

“Then why are you running away by yourself?”

.

.

.

“I—”

oOo

It’s been a week—a tiresome week.

Crowley lifts another glass to his lips, tongue darting to taste the alcohol. He could get alcohol poisoning—that will discorporate him probably. It will send him right down to Hell. And the demons could feast on his soul.

He doesn’t need to live anyway.

He got his answers.

After six thousand years, he finally had gotten his answer. Quite fetching, really. How creatively painful must an angel be to break a demon’s questionable heart. Aren’t they supposed to be creatures of love? Shouldn’t they be more open to it? Be delighted that they made a demon fall?

“Huh.” He chuckles drunkenly, “Fall. All heavenly creatures on Your side are just so adept in making creatures like me fall. Amusing, ain’t it?”

The silence fouls his mood even more. He doesn’t expect for anyone to give him a response. But it still pricks his overly sensitive senses. He stretches his hand and laughs loudly as the sound of glass hits the wall.

He paces towards it, picks up the shards with bare hands and crunches them.

.

.

.

“Aren’t I a miserable one, Angel? Maybe, ‘s why you left.”

.

“Couldn’t accept loving a failed existence, huh?”

OoO

The concept of love is—it’s always a beautiful thing. It is soft and warm. Something like a cotton candy, sweet. Or maybe like crepes! He always loves crepes. It is just too savory—tempting, really.

But love is not a sinful concept at all, it isn’t supposed to tempt people. But humans’ way of feeling things is rather complicated. They just don’t feel a single thing of pure goodness. They are warped strings of emotions that got jumbled altogether, blurred into grayness that you can’t see where they start or end—there’s no clear demarcation for it. It’s an absolute mess!

Not that immortal celestial beings could say otherwise. Especially, immortal celestial beings that had been on Earth for far too long. Crowley and him had always been a special case. He supposed that it’s been a long time coming. Perhaps, it has always been part of the Ineffable Plan. God has always been mysterious that way but he dares not question Her. Not that it stops him from questioning the Archangels, but still.

God is different, he likes to believe that She understands.

He likes to. Really.

After the almost Apocalypse, things were rather hectic. He was always trying to get away from Crowley. Their lovely night at the Ritz was so memorable that it had triggered emotions, opened dams that should not be opened. How could an angel be so in love with a demon? This incredible, cunning, amazing demon he had for company for many millennia, who could possibly not fall in love with him? But oh! If this is written in the Ineffable Plan then She had something in store for them. And he really never liked the surprises She would come up with.

Sometimes, they’re just so cruel.

And he doesn’t—

He really doesn’t—

What would he do if falling in love with Crowley is just a stepping stone for a bigger Plan? And what if that Plan means someday hurting him so it could be achieved? What if they would be so in love but then it gets torn to pieces? He doesn’t want to be involved in the Plan anymore. He knows he’s not on Heaven’s side anymore nor Crowley is on Hell’s.

But one can never be too careful. The angels like to remind him that quite warningly.

He admits that he had done things that should be punished. Maybe. Just maybe She is just waiting for the right time to punish him because now he has something he really does fear losing.

And if he lost Crowley—

If he does lose him—

If one day, he woke up and suddenly Crowley was taken away from him—

If Crowley gets hurt because of him—

He would, absolutely would, just die.

He’d rather keep him alive. And if it means constantly deflecting, then so be it. He’d rather be unhappy if it means keeping Crowley alive.

.

.

.

Right?

.

“Then why are you running away by yourself?”

.

“Because I—”

.

“Do you love Mr. Crowley?”

.

“I do.”

.

“Then why are you running away by yourself?”

.

“Do you love Mr. Crowley?”

.

.

.

“Why am I running away?”

OoO

“Crowley?”

It must have been his imagination, his fantasy seeping out into the shadows of his confinement. How hard did he wish to hear Aziraphale call his name again?

“Crowley, where are yo—oh, dear!” He felt warm arms, hands gingerly picking the shards that imbedded themselves into his skin. He winces as dried blood surrounding the wounds make the cleaning more painful.

“What have you done to yourself?!” Aziraphale’s frantic voice beckons him a little closer to consciousness. See? See? If he hurt himself, Aziraphale might appear. “Oh, stop chuckling, you wily fool.”

“You came back.” Whatever this is, it felt too real. It’s an amazing imagination—the only thing other demons don’t have. He croaked, letting all his feelings out, “You came back. I’m glad.”

His imaginary Aziraphale pauses, wet droplets hitting his cheeks.

“Oh, Crowley, you fool.”

.

.

.

Another morning graces his eyes and he flinches, eyes opening.

.

.

“Angel?”

OoO

When Crowley wakes up, he is besides him. Aziraphale is a shivering mess, eyes red. He had thought he would lose Crowley then and there. The poor demon was covered in glasses from head to toe, bottles of alcohol rolling left and right. He thought Gabriel has finally made his warning a reality—but there are no traces of holy presence in the vicinity, just an extra-large amount of indescribable pain.

“Angel, where did you go?” Crowley asks, eyes almost glaring. Azirphale averts his eyes, “I’m sorry, my dear. I was…”

“Why’d you left?” Why’d you left me?

It breaks him to see Crowley like this. He never thought he would cause him such pain. A surge of guilt creeps in. He bits his lips, eyes down-casted in shame. Crowley looks so fragile, so hurt that he is afraid that if he touched him, he would crumble.

“I was…” He starts again, “I was just overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed.” Always quick with his wit, Crowley snaps, “Overwhelmed is when I run to you, begging you to come with me to Alpha Centauri because I thought we would not be able to stop the bloody apocalypse. Overwhelmed is when I sat down at a bar, crying myself into a drunken stupor because I thought I lost you. Overwhelmed is when you told me you’re never going to talk to me again if I don’t come up with a plan. But I never truly ever left you, didn’t I?”

“My dear—”

“No. No.” Crowley puts a hand up, “Let me speak, Angel. I waited and waited and waited. When I kissed you and you told me you had to go, I let you—trustingly so. It always pains me but I hope! I hope even under such severing misery, even when you constantly deny me of the feelings I deserve from you to have, even when you constantly pretend you don’t feel the same way. I hope! But, maybe, you thought of me too disgusting? Too wretched? How would a pure creature such as you love a fallen like me?”

Every word he spoke were little knives carving at his soul. He had hurt Crowley deeply this time, more than the last time that he did when he threw his request away to the pond. Looking at the crumbling state of Crowley was stabbing him.

“I did not leave, per say.” He intervenes mistakenly but Crowley only hisses at him before spatting, “I went to your book shop! And they’re empty. Not a single trace of your beloved books nor your things are there. I confessed to you and the next thing I knew is you’re gone!”

“I just kept it away somewhere.”

“Somewhere you did not tell me!”

“Crowley, let me explain!”

“NO!” Crowley explodes, eyes starting to sting, “NO! What you need is to sort yourself out! Let’s stop this dance because it’s killing me. I don’t want it anymore.”

Aziraphale scrambles, arms hugging Crowley tightly, “I’m so sorry, my dearest boy. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m so sorry for being so cowardly. I just don’t want you to die.”

“Die?”

“For the past two years, Heaven kept threatening me.” Aziraphale mutters, “They told me that they would destroy everything that I love. Crowley, that’s you! Everything that I love is you. I don’t want you to get destroyed for my punishment. I’d rather die myself a million times in place of you. I never intended to truly leave but if that’s all it takes to save you I—”

“I don’t want it!” Crowley shrieks, arms finally responding to the embrace, “If you leave me, I will just discorporate myself and send myself to Hell. Be tortured for all eternity than live without you. Because I finally have you. Just to lose you because you left willingly, that’s too much. I don’t want it.”

“But if I ever do, it’s because I want you to be happy—” He sobs.

“Listen, Aziraphale,” He pauses because Crowley would only ever use his name when it is really serious, “You can’t keep running away from your feelings. I know that we used to consider a lot of things. But those days are over. Over, Aziraphale. What we have to do now is to be fucking honest. Because honestly, honestly, honestly, I love you so much. So much. If you think I regretted choosing you then you’re bloody wrong. Because I’ll choose you again and again even if you stop choosing yourself. I’ll choose you for the both of us.”

Crowley knows a lot about him. He pretends that Crowley doesn’t. But truthfully, the demon does. And it’s overwhelming how much he would hold on to someone as imperfect as he—as insecure and painfully oblivious as he. He always knows what to say and when to say them, always reading between the lines of what he speaks. Perhaps, he never really had a chance in ever hiding something from Crowley. Perhaps, he naturally couldn’t.

Because he always comes around to a point where Crowley is waiting. Always patiently waiting for him.

“I’m sorry, Crowley.”

“No,” Crowley starts, “It’s I love you, Crowley. You got to compensate me double for making me miserable, Angel. I almost poisoned myself. Yuck.”

He couldn’t help the watery smile, couldn’t help but notice how normal they could chat around after a dramatic outburst—as if it’s always meant to be like this, with him by Crowley’s side.

“Aziraphale?”

He hummed in response.

“You’ll not suddenly disappear, right?”

.

.

.

He doesn’t.

[ramblefang]

 I’ve been watching quite a bit of Hearthstone’s Battlegrounds mode ever since it was added to the game—watching because I have a history of not being able to healthily have free-to-play progression mechanics in my life. Despite only watching, I have some ideas regarding game balance/design; it’s hard to avoid in Tw*tch chat or on R*ddit. (Also, I’ve had a lifelong passion for games and game design, though I haven’t been able to pursue it.) The main reason I’m writing my thoughts here, instead of on official forums or R*ddit, is because I don’t actually care to have anyone listen to me. It’s just a fun exercise to me.

Murlocs

A lot of people insist that murlocs need some sort of nerf at the top end, but, as I understand it, all of the different tribes are designed to have different “power spikes” throughout the game. And murlocs are specifically designed to have the nigh unstoppable super-late game snowball, but with a weak early and mid game. As such I wouldn’t be interested in changing their late game at all.

If I were to make changes, it would be to the parts of the game where they are meant to be weak. In particular, I’d look at Felfin Navigator and Murloc Tidehunter. The former because it really improved the murloc mid-game, and the latter because, despite murlocs supposedly being weak early, Tidehunter is one of the best tier 1 minions regardless of strategy.

Regarding Felfin Navigator, I feel that it’s too strong overall for murlocs. It has one of the biggest bodies in the tribe, competing favorably in general by the time you can get it. It being an additional board-wide buff also allows murlocs to more quickly and consistently get the snowball going, especially once they gain access to Primalfin Lookouts. One nerf could be to simply move Felfin Navigator from tier 3 to tier 4, where it can still contribute to the late-game snowball, while actually starting later. Another possibility, if it’s preferable to have a murloc option at tier 3 and keeping 4 as a relatively empty weakpoint, is to replace Felfin Navigator with a murloc that simply has decent independent stats without offering any sort of buff: essentially something to serve a similar role as Murloc Tidecaller and Old Murk-Eye on the earlier tiers.

As for Tidehunter, one possibility is to remove it and add a similar minion to tier 2: perhaps a 2/2 murloc that summons a murloc scout. Alternatively, if it would be preferable to keep the economic option of a “token” generator, a new one could replace Tidehunter at tier 1 for a different tribe or as a neutral minion. With the latter option, it would probably be appropriate to add a new murloc at either tier 1 or 2.

Mechs

Mechs have been in a bad spot since the last Battlegrounds patch (and I don’t think they’ve been too hot ever since Deflect-o-Bot replaced Cobalt Guardian), and I think they’d need to some significant rework. I’d consider removing Piloted Shredder from tier 3 and moving down Iron Sensei to take its spot. I think it would make sense to swap Annoy-o-Module and Junkbot, considering their actual power-levels. While that last change would likely be a nerf, I’d actually lower one of the tier 6 minions into tier 5 and add something new into tier 6: a powerful Magnetic minion perhaps? For other replacements, I’d definitely look at tier 1. Mecharoo and Micro Machine are both incredibly underwhelming options. I do like Mecharoo refreshing Deflect-o-Bot’s Divine Shield, so I’d rather replace Micro Machine with Paladin’s Glow-Tron.

Overall, I think these changes would position mechs as a powerful mid-late game tribe that are particularly powerful when people are getting to tiers 5 and 6. They still won’t scale as strongly as other tribes, but they start building up earlier with Glow-Tron at tier 1 and Iron Sensei at tier 3, capitalizing on those buffs with Annoy-o-Module at tier 5 and whatever new minion is added at tier 6.

Demons

Demons have been historically quite weak, with a relatively brief moment in the spotlight when Floating Watcher was originally introduced at tier 3. I’ve actually always felt like demons were strangely designed because they have two very distinct paths: exchanging health for big buffs with Wrathweaver, Floating Watcher, and Annihilan Battlemaster or using Soul Juggler with token-summoning minions. They don’t really mix together because big demons have few bodies, which are unlikely to die, for a Soul Juggler to trigger off of, and big demons that don’t die don’t leave much room for any tokens to be summoned. I feel they could use a more comprehensive redesign that better connect these disparate build paths.

One thing I’d like to design towards is the idea of inflicting self-damage for more tempo, so more minions that inflict self-damage could be interesting, likely with Floating Watcher returning to tier 3 to be a central player. To link the big and token strategies, maybe there could be a minion that summons imps when adjacent demons take damage (and it could be similar to Arcane Cannon and not be able to attack itself.) Another possibility, Soul Juggler could be changed to trigger on your demons taking damage instead of them dying, which would likely require it to be put in a higher tier and/or its damage being lowered. One last idea: if self-damage becomes more central to the demon gameplan, perhaps there could be a minion that sets your hero’s health to a relatively low number that is still high enough to allow for extra self-damage (say, 10 health.)

Overall, I think it would make sense for demons to be the tribe that becomes powerful quickly, spending your health to do so. They sort of are that already with Wrathweavers, but I’d like to lean into it more. But they require more changes to their fundamental gameplan than I feel up to designing.

Heroes

Recently, two heroes have been notably stronger than everyone else: Captains Hooktusk and Eudora. There are also a multitude of under-performing heroes. So I’ll take a crack at balancing them.

First I’ll discuss Hooktusk since she’s particularly unique and has a variety of ways to be changed. But before that, I want to discuss the way I see her design. It seems, to me, that she was designed around Galakrond and Malygos. Galakrond transforms a minion to one a tier higher for 1 gold, Malygos transforms a minion to another of the same tier for free, and Hooktusk “transforms” a minion to one of a lower tier for free and gets to Discover it. While Hooktusk is clearly stronger since she gets the minion in hand and gets to use the Battlecry with additional easy access to triples through the Discover, it was probably decided that there was plenty of room to be better than Galakrond and Malygos and still be fine overall. They honestly weren’t too far off, though she is a tad too strong.

The simplest change I can imagine to Hooktusk is having it cost 1 gold. The ability to easily find tier 1 triples seems to be strong enough for this ability to not be free, though I think this may put her down with Galakrond and Malygos. An alternative solution I’ve seen is for her to not be able to use her hero power on tier 1 minions at all; there’s nothing below tier 1 after all. Another possibility that primarily aims at weakening the Battlecry options, especially the token summoners, is to make it so that the minion is transformed on board without going to hand; I’m not a huge fan of this one because actually transforming the minion doesn’t really match the flavor.

And Hooktusk is pretty much the only hero I have significant thoughts about. The others should go by relatively quickly.

As for the other particularly powerful hero, Captain Eudora, the simplest option is to just make it so that it takes 5 digs to get the golden minion, up from 4.

Now for buffs, going alphabetically, A. F. Kay could be changed quite a few different ways. She could go back to her original incarnation and get one tier 3 and one tier 4 minion (instead of two tier 3 has it is now). Alternatively, they could mix things up and add a third minion: maybe a tier 3 and two tier 2, or whatever mix is balanced. Another option is to give her a bonus other than an extra minion: maybe extra gold for just turn 3.

Alexstrasza (and Ysera) is highly sensitive to what options there are for dragons, so it would probably be better to look at changing dragons in general rather than the dragon-synergy heroes themselves.

For Aranna, the simplest option is to just lower the number of rerolls needed to get the reward, but that removes the matching sevens (seven rerolls to see seven minions.) Another possibility is to give the upgraded hero power an additional active functionality. Maybe something that buffs a minion for one fight?

Bartendotron could use a more interesting hero power. My idea is that instead of tavern upgrades being cheaper, you get “tips” in hand when you upgrade (similar to Elise getting maps on tavern upgrades). These tips could simply have the effect of reducing the cost of the tavern upgrade, but they could become more powerful at the later tiers. You could also save them up to make a later tier particularly cheap. Another possibility is for there to be different tips at different levels: maybe one that gives you extra gold for a turn, another that buffs a minion, etc.

Elise could probably have cheaper maps, costing 2 instead of 3.

For both Galakrond and Malygos, I’d consider making it so that you can only use their hero powers on minions in the shop, but you transform the target into two minions, giving you a better chance at finding something you want.

I’m actually not sure what to do about George since giving anything Divine Shield is really strong. Making it any cheaper could easily be too much. He feels fine being designed as an early game hero who gets really strong later when he can afford to hero power stuff. It’s probably better to generally slow down the meta than change him directly.

Illidan mostly needs more minions that care about attacking first. He’s already quite strong with Monstrous Macaws.

An idea I had for Toki is for her hero power to upgrade the tavern for that one turn only. I think it would be fine for it to still cost one because you’d have to spend more gold on rerolls to get any benefit from it, and it doesn’t have the guarantee of the current incarnation. I don’t know if this would be significantly better, but I think it’s interesting.

Lady Vashj could probably just transform everything in the shop to match the upgraded tavern tier, instead of having to awkwardly arrange a shop with a bunch of higher tier minions before upgrading.

Lich Baz’hial could really depend more on any self-damage synergies added to demons. Or even just Floating Watcher going back down to tier 3. Otherwise, I’m not sure how to change her directly.

Jaraxxus is similarly dependent on demons and their strategy, and I’d look at demons before deciding what to do about him. Though, he isn’t too bad currently, if a bit boring.

Oh, Maiev could probably get a small nerf: remove the +1/+1 buff. Getting a minion for 1 gold is really good as it is, even with the delay.

I wouldn’t mind Millhouse being returned to his original incarnation because him being terrible is on brand.

It would be cool if Millificent’s hero power upgraded over time. It just makes sense to me for the mech hero to get upgrades. It could upgrade after buying enough mechs. First it could just upgrade to +2/+2 buffs. Then maybe it can gain an active component in addition to the passive buffs. One thought is an “Overdrive” hero power that buffs all mechs for the next fight.

Patchwerk could probably just go back to having 60 health. Alternatively, maybe he could regenerate health every turn?

I wonder if it would be too much for Queen Wagtoggle to give +2/+1 instead of +2/+0, matching Lightfang Enforcer’s buff.

Reno’s hero power could probably be free since it’s a single use.

You might be able to get away with changing Shudderwock to double all Battlecries that turn. Maybe bring it back up to 2 gold if that proves to be too strong.

I’m not sure what to do about Sindragosa. Maybe she could have a transforming hero power too, upgrading after you freeze the shop enough times. The buff could just be stronger, and/or it could gain an active component.

The Curator is mostly sensitive to what kinds of buffs exist in the game. His amalgam could become stronger just with the addition of new keywords from new tribes.

Akazamzarak could use some new Battlegrounds specific secrets, as well as the removal of crappier options like Snake Trap and Effigy. No idea what those new secrets could be though.

The Lich King seems more dependent on minions that synergize with his hero power, because I’m not sure how to make it better inherently; reducing it to 0 would probably be too strong.

And that’s about it. If I didn’t mention a hero, I don’t think they need to be changed or I don’t have any thoughts regarding them.

[cravingcrazewriting]

Reinvent Yourself {Treebros}

(Sorry about the error in the first one! It won’t let me edit it at the moment)

Being a shapeshifter was convenient for a number of reasons.

Evan could pretend to be anyone but himself, well, as long as he didn't strain himself too hard (that was never fun). He could completely redesign his body and alter the features he hated so much.

Even if he'd grown up in the confides of a government lab, and he didn't exactly get a childhood, he deserved to have a little fun, damn it, and explore the world he barely knew. He was finally free, and could do whatever he wanted.

Well, nothing illegal, obviously. He also had to keep an eye out for any government agents looking for him. But that was besides the point.

After flashing an ID at the bouncer, he stepped inside the bar and immediately was met with quite possibly the most beautiful person there.

They had a long, well built figure, with oak brown hair that poured down to their shoulders. Around their waist was a leather jacket, and they were wearing a black tank top, accompanied with multiple rings on long fingers, and ripped jeans to tie the whole outfit together.

Immediately, Evan turned on his heel and ran out and into an alleyway. He had to impress the beautiful stranger, and well, he couldn't, being his actual, boring self. His boring, actual self, who had sandy blonde hair, green eyes and the right mixed with red, soft skin, a snake tattoo on his upper back, little to no muscle whatsoever, and sort of plump build.

Throwing off a drawstring bag he previously had around his shoulders, he quickly stripped naked so his clothes wouldn't rip. Once this was done, he shut his eyes, and tried to imagine himself changing into a more attractive person.

He imagined curly, brown hair, a large physique, skinny waist, and a sharp jawline. Yeah, that'd do. He could change into the opposite sex, but most times he preferred using a male form, but couldn't do an animal, but everything else was fair game.

Bones began to unhinge and rearrange, as muscles started to expand, as his size grew, hair curled to his will, his vocal cords deepened, as his body made snapping and twisting sounds (it was never pleasant to do, let alone listen to).

When he opened his eyes, he was an entirely different person. On the outside, at least, but he could fake it till he made it, he supposed. It would work for the time being, until he didn't have to pretend anymore.

He doubted that'd be anytime soon, though, but that was beside the point.

Evan pulled out his ID again and looked directly at it. What was special about it was that it scanned all of his new facial features, and printed it onto the photo, adding on other specifics, like his height and stuff.

He strode over to the bouncer with confidence in his step, after putting a different set of clothes on, showed him the new ID, and went inside to find the beautiful stranger.

The Beautiful Stranger was sitting on a stool, on their phone, and a class of water sitting in front of them. They moved a hand downwards, and moved the sleeve of their leather jacket, before grabbing the water and taking a sip.

Evan decided to take the initiative, slowly sitting next to them, sparing a glance at their features.

They were a lot stronger than Evan anticipated. While they didn't have a body builder physic, the discarded jacket left a full view of two defined and broad biceps that this person could use to easily pin Evan against a wall or something because he just wasn't that strong of a guy. Sure, he could make himself strong, but it wore him out faster.

He wanted to speak to Beautiful Stranger, but the bartender already came over, and was asking him what he wanted to drink.

"Just some water, please," Evan didn't put any thought into the order, he just wanted the bartender to leave him alone. He spared a glance at Beautiful Stranger, wanting to initiate a conversation somehow.

Maybe a compliment would do? He wouldn't know, he never flirted with anyone before.

"Your hair looks soft," as he let the words unintentionally tumble out of his mouth, he realized that was a really fucking weird thing to say to someone. It sounded weird, too, and he was probably freaking Beautiful Stranger out, now.

Beautiful Stranger turned their head towards Evan, surprised by the compliment, but they smiled, and it was small and kind and friendly and just really nice.

"Thank you," they nodded their head at Evan, in a friendly type of way.

Evan wasn't good at upholding conversations. He really preferred it when someone else upheld it for him, because coming up with questions and creating small talk just wasn't his forte. "Where— where do you get it styled?"

"Oh um, this is all natural, actually," Beautiful Stranger gestured to the wild curls. Evan internally decided he'd keep referring to them as them until he heard a name or other characteristics because he did not want to assume anything. "It's god awful to take care of. It just— does it's own thing— that's how curly it is, it's ridiculous. Back in high school my dad would always tell me to chop it if I complained, but I was as stubborn as a mule, I suppose."

"I can't say the same," Evan chuckled meekly. "My uh— I was never aloud to grow out my hair. They always c-chopped it if I tried growing it out." Back when he was still living in a lab, his primary caretaker, Doctor Sherman, didn't let Evan grow out his hair or change it in any way, shape, or form. Previously before, he didn't know why they wouldn't let him grow it out or dye it, but he knew it was just to keep his appearance consistent on his file. Now that he was free, he was growing out his natural hair to a mullet.

"Oh," Beautiful Stranger looked like they wanted to say more, but chose not to. "I'm sorry," they looked away from him.

And just like that, the conversation died.

Evan resisted the urge to sigh, instead drinking his water, slightly disappointed. He needed a new plan, so he paid and left the bar, going back to the alleyway.

If some friendly banter didn't work, maybe seduction would do the trick? While he didn't know what attracted Beautiful Stranger, he decided he'd settle on a tall, skinny girl, with long, black hair, and would wear a shiny, ruby red dress with flats. It'd be the easiest way to find out what exactly caught Beautiful Stranger's eye (and if Beautiful Stranger seemed uncomfortable, Evan would back off, because he would never want to do something like that to them).

He let his muscles shrink and become more femininely shaped, as fat faded away and gentle curves smoothed their way up his thighs and hips, and his bones shrank and rearranged, as his face become a softer shape (despite having a women's body, he still preferred being as a guy).

Evan once again showed the bouncer his ID as he entered, spotting Beautiful Stranger just where he left them. He strutted over to him, feigning confidence, and willing his hands not to shake.

He gave them a gentle shoulder stroke to catch their attention, and trailed his finger down their arm.

Beautiful Stranger shuddered at the touch, and looked at Evan, seeming to be surprised.

"Hey hot stuff," he purred, silently hoping he was coming off as seductive and not as a predator or anything. "You're looking very nice tonight."

They chuckled somewhat awkwardly, and gave a little smile. "Um.. thanks?"

"You come here often?" Evan leant against the counter, allowing a relaxed pose to take its place.

"Not really? Look, you're attractive, and I mean like, super attractive, you're so beautiful but..." Beautiful Stranger let out a sigh. "I've stopped doing one night stands, and I'm here with my sister, celebrating something kinda important. So if you're looking for a hookup, sorry, but I can't."

Evan was surprised by his honesty, but stood up straight, knowing he wasn't wanted anymore. "Alright, I get it. I'll be on my way."

"Thank you," They seemed relieved. As Evan made his way out, he could feel their eyes on them. They cleared their throat and said, "Is that a snake tattoo?"

Evan turned his head back, seeing some of his tattoo slip out. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised, as the dress he wore was a bit revealing, especially in his backside. He just nodded.

"What's it mean?" Beautiful Stranger asked.

Ironically, Evan had never been the one who chosen that tattoo. Doctor Sherman chose where it went and what it was, and that was that. That was four years ago, and he was just twenty two, and while he could try to get it removed, it was a special tattoo that changed along with whatever form he took (the same went with his right red-green eye).

"Er— I guess it's a conception of judging something by it's appearance, but it being completely different," he just made all of that up, because what else was he supposed to say?

Beautiful Stranger hummed thoughtfully, before turning away from him.

Throughout the night, Evan tried using different forms and personalities in an attempt to impress Beautiful Stranger, but none seemed to work. They didn't seem to bat an eye at the different people he made, and whatever conversations they had were short and unimportant. Evan could only assume they just didn't like him. It was somehow, still, just him.

Evan entered the bar a final time that evening, wearing a basic blue button up, neat jeans that had little to no holes, and a grey jacket, as he swung his drawstring bag that was filled with his various outfits he'd used that night. Evan was tired, and quite frankly just wanted to drink and to drown his sorrows in them. In the back of his mind, he told himself to stay sober enough to rent a motel to pass out in (he didn't have an actual place to stay).

He sat down a couple of seats away from Beautiful Stranger. He just couldn't bear another rejection or let down. He wanted to be alone, probably for the first time all night, with whatever drink he'd buy.

"What'll it be?" The bartender from earlier approached him.

"I'd like some Rose Wine, p-please," Evan fidgeted with the hem on his jacket. "And put it on my tab?"

As he ordered, he couldn't help but feel a set of eyes on him, which was weird, because he wasn't remotely interesting to be watching. While granted, Evan was a shapeshifter, he tried to live his life as vanilla as possible, because that's what he missed, he never got to live normally, and he probably never will, because the government is still after him, and all he wants to do is meet his mom, who supposedly just 'gave him up', which he doesn't really buy, not at all, and go live in Canada, because he erased all files on him before he left, so they wouldn't be able to get him (or at least, he assumed). The only thing holding him back was the lack of money he had, and he'd need a job for a good solid few months, but he also couldn't stay on the streets, because that was unsanitary, and it was only going to get colder and colder each and every day.

"Bad day?" A familiar voice asked above him, settling into the seat beside his.

Evan didn't even want to raise his head to face them, so he just shrugged feebly. "Shitty night..." he said softly, and fuck, when did his eyes start watering? Doctor Sherman always called him sensitive, and told him he needed to mask and control his emotions. It wasn't like he could control his emotions, no matter how much he wanted to, because feelings were complicated and messy, and he just wanted them gone so he wouldn't have to deal with him.

"You um, wanna talk about it?" The stranger offered, and his curiosity got the better of him, as he raised his head from the counter top, and wow, okay, it was Beautiful Stranger sitting next to him, giving him a look of worry that could be compared to offering someone their condolences when a family/friend died, which was kind of baffling, because they hadn't really cared about him before, well, more like the different versions of him, actually, they'd never formally met like his true, god awful form, and yet he was getting more attention than any of his others did.

For obvious reasons, he couldn't tell him he was trying to talk to him all night, because he'd sound crazy, so he had to make something up. "Er— my b-boyfriend, he didn't like how anxious I was— or well, still am, actually— with like, everything, and I— I tried to change for him, but... nothing worked... so he b-broke it off with me..."

"So wait. You were trying to change yourself for some selfish asshole, while you have anxiety?" Beautiful Stranger looked pissed off, but not at him.

Evan nodded feebly, not saying anything. Really, what could he have said?

"You deserve better than him," Beautiful Stranger said firmly, shaking their head. "You're better off."

The bartender set down a cup of Rose Wine, and Evan suddenly remembered his plan. Taking the cup, he downed it and asked, "Why're you here?"

"Celebrating with my sis. I'm four years clean from cutting and two years clean from smoking weed," it was weird, because they seemed more eager to tell him about this than before in his other form.

"That— that's great," he smiled at them, because it was great, and it had to be a big achievement if they felt the need to celebrate it.

"It hasn't been easy, but it's worth it... What about you?" Again, there's hesitation in their voice, but they fight through it. It's kind of admirable.

In a way, Evan's addicted to shapeshifting. He absolutely loves being able to reinvent himself, despite the pain that rushes through his body, and it never fails to get his blood pumping.

But it's another thing he can't tell Beautiful Stranger. So, he says, "Lying. I hate conflict."

"But you aren't lying to me," Beautiful Stranger was smiling at him, and was he flirting? Evan couldn't tell.

"Or— or so you think," really, he was lying to them, but only about small stuff.

"If you were lying, you'd get defensive, and well, you aren't," Beautiful Stranger laughed slightly.

Evan sputtered, "I mean— well—I guess."

Beautiful Stranger squinted at him, and then smiled, "Wait, hold on, you have it too?"

"Have— have w-what too?" Evan was confused by what he meant.

"Your eye. It's got a little red in it," they clarified.

Evan's face flushed, and he looked away, covering it. Doctor Sherman could never find out where the red came from, and called it a 'scientific anomaly'. "Oh... sorry. It's weird, I know."

"Wait, no! I didn't mean it like that!" Beautiful Stranger rushed, and— that's their hand? It's so soft. "Just. Look at me?"

Evan sighed internally, but complied, and watched Beautiful Stranger brush their beautiful, long hair out of their face, revealing his left brown eye with a large amount of blue in it. He gasped, gazing at it.

"I wanted to say we both have Heterochromia," they chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh..." Evan said softly, trying hard not to stare at them. He knew from experience how awkward it was to have people staring at him, but he couldn't help it. They were just... so beautiful (hence the nickname), and Evan would stare at them for forever if he could, and fuck, their hand was still on top of his, and their gaze was directed at him and felt all too tingly in a sudden moment.

His thoughts were interrupted by the bartender coming by. "Want a refill?"

Evan nodded to them, and watched as the cup filled once more with the Rose Wine, taking it afterwards, and took another drink.

Beautiful Stranger grimaced, "Please tell me you didn't drive here."

Evan finished half of it before setting the cup down. The alcohol was really starting to set in. "Can't drive if I don't have a car," he shot finger guns at him somewhat awkwardly.

"So you walked," they assumed, "cause I don't think you'll be okay to go out on the streets like this."

"I'll be fine!" Evan laughed, and oh yeah, the alcohol was really hitting now. "I don't—" he hiccuped, probably from not having any water in between drinks. "I don't even know y-your— name!"

"It's Connor. Connor Murphy," Beautif— no, Connor Mur— no, beautiful Connor Murphy, smiled at him, and Evan decided it was safe to assume his pronouns were he/him unless told otherwise.

Evan slowly raised his arm so Connor could take his hand, but it probably looked weird, but everything was spinning and he'd rather not fall off of his stool and get a concussion. Never the less, Connor The Beautiful took his hand and shook it.

"I'm... beautiful," he whispered, not really used to calling Connor by his actual name. He was just so beautiful, he couldn't help it.

"While I won't deny that, I still need your name," Connor laughed, letting go of his hand. Evan just let it drop, sort of like it was weightless.

"Oh," Evan drank the rest of his second cup, and asked for a third. He laughed at the fuzziness gathering in his chest and said, "It's Evan."

Oh so beautiful Connor was smiling shyly at him. "Well Evan, maybe I can convince my sister to give you a ride home?"

It dawns on Evan that he kind of can't accept his offer. He'd love to, definitely, without a doubt, but he just have a home. His cup was filled once again, so he took another drink, trying to figure out how to tell Connor he couldn't without hurting his feelings.

"I— don't have one," well, congratulations Evan, for being brutally honest with this super hot stranger that he'd never see again.

Admitting to homelessness probably always sparked concerned, Evan reasoned to himself, as he saw Connor's expression melt into shock. "What? But where have you been staying?"

"Shelters, hotels, motels, and sometimes on a bench," he laughed dryly. He was painfully used to this routine by now, but it's not like he could leave.

"God, I'm so sorry for asking," Connor groaned, hiding his face in his hand.

Another drink went down the hatch. " 'm not mad or anyth'ng, you d'dn't know." He was forgetting to articulate his 'i's, he was aware, but did that really matter? No, he was drunk, and he could do whatever he wanted (well, he'd probably get in trouble, but that didn't matter to his drunken mind).

"Fuck, are you going to be okay?" Again, there was that look of worry, while Sober Evan would appreciated, Drunk Evan didn't want to be pitied.

" 'll be fine," he insisted, his cup becoming empty. "Just need a motel."

"Well when you're done, can I take you to one?" Connor took a moment to pause. "And I know it's weird, because we barely know each other, but I promise it's not out of pity, but because you're important."

'Important to the government? Yes. Important around here? No,' Evan thought to himself, but didn't actually say it. "Okay."

While Evan had a couple more drinks, Connor made some small talk. He talked about how hellous his high school years were, as he was at the bottom of the food chain, among with the relentless expectations from his parents didn't make life easier. He'd spiraled into depression, and struggled with it for the longest time, but eventually got a support system he could fall back on if needed be. He went into Graphic Design and was interning to design Buildboards with a company. In the spring, he'd graduate and start working there, while his sister majored in Astromony, and her girlfriend, Alana graduated early with to be a Paralegal (that was normal for her, because she always went the extra mile, he explained).

Once done, Connor talked to a blonde haired girl Evan could only assume was Zoe. With every passing moment, he could feel his legs wobble and he had to use the counter to stay upright. Connor noticed this, and coaxed Evan into grabbing onto his shoulder for balance, which was super nice, as he lead him out into his car.

It was embarrassing that he couldn't even get his seatbelt on without help, but all he could do was slump back against against the seat and mope. Connor was typing into his phone, looking for a nearby motel, most likely, and Evan couldn't help but feel just... so lucky. He knew guys like Connor weren't nearly as common as he'd like to believe, and just the fact he was doing this for him... Just was amazing.

Finding a motel didn't take nearly as long as he thought it would, much to Evan's disappointment. Was it wrong he wanted to be around him so much? He barely knew him, and yet there he was, wanting to see him again.

"Can you get inside okay?" Connor turned to him once the car was parked.

Really, Connor was just too sweet for his own good. Was he trying to leave Evan swooning hopelessly after him, cause he hoped not. "Yeah. It's just a few feet."

But just when he was about to step out of the car, Connor spoke up, "Can I have your number?"

Evan felt frozen in his spot, out of fear or anticipation, he couldn't tell.

"It's just— believe it or not, I've had a really nice time talking with you tonight, and I wanted to see you again," Holy fuck, that smile, it was like finding a diamond in the rough. So beautiful and rare, and aimed just at him.

Evan could feel himself fumbling for his phone, and handed it over, watching Connor take his out so he could take it. He silently typed in his number, seeing Connor smiling as he did the same, and they swapped back. He couldn't believe it. He'd gotten Connor's number.

And as he stumbled into the cheapest motel room he could find for the night, he felt like he finally did something right for once.

[kiraraneko]

CATS as reviewed by a furry

Apparently this is a movie review blog now lmao (listen I just have some Opinions™ I feel like writing down lately) You’ve already heard from a hundred sources about the terrible CGI and bad quality of the film overall, so I’m going to focus more on the characters themselves and how they’ve been translated from stage to film. As someone whose been a fan of CATS since childhood AND is active in the furry community, I hope this will be different from the other reviews. (YES THERE ARE SPOILERS)

Let’s just start this off by saying - everyone who keeps comparing this film to “furry porn” clearly is not familiar with furry porn, because the alleged “hornyness” of the actor portrayals is pretty in-line with the stage play. The only reason this movie comes off as so much more sexual is because the bad fur CGI doesn’t keep your brain from knowing these people are all basically nude. The stage play costumes feature fur tufts and limb wraps that work to somewhat hide the human silhouettes, whereas (even with some characters in coats and accessories) everyone’s fur in the movie is so skin-tight they end up being unmistakably human, so every sway and hip-thrust comes off as slightly disturbing in an uncanny way instead of feline and graceful.

Victoria the White Cat Now here’s where I’ll admit to my blatant bias - Victoria has always been my favorite cat (other than Rum Tum). Here’s a bit of trivia for you: Ever wonder why my fursona is a white cat? (Jumpcut to me as an 8 year old wearing a scarf around my waist, pretending to be Victoria). Her role in the play is small but she’s elegant, beautiful, and an incredibly talented dancer, and I always idolized her for that. So, you can imagine I was pretty delighted to find that she plays the role of “main character” in the film. Now in the play, the cats explain to the audience about who and what they are, with Munkustrap (the grey tabby) serving as a kind of narrator/translator and leader. Since you can’t exactly address a stage audience in a movie, Victoria fills that role of the “questioning onlooker”, which I feel fits her character very well considering she’s both a younger/newer cat to the Jellicle scene and she was the first to accept Grizabella, which connects her nicely to the entire story (both in the play and the movie). What I was markedly less jazzed about was the addition of her own song in the movie. I think it was a nice attempt to expand her role, but as an extension to Memories, I found Beautiful Ghosts to be frankly kind of boring and unnecessary. She’s essentially saying to Grizabella “I was just abandoned and I don’t have anything, at least you have good memories to look back on” which to me, came off as belittling to Grizabella with a dash of “poor me” for Victoria. However, the reprise version with Old Deuteronomy I actually ended up liking much more. It is less condescending when two old cats are singing to one another, versus a kitten who has their whole life ahead of them lecturing Grizabella about a past she knows nothing about. One last thing I’ll note about Victoria is her slight re-design in the movie - she’s been given some light striping patterning as opposed to being a pure white cat. This doesn’t bother me at all as I assume when it comes to lighting and rendering, pure white fur would have been too distracting on screen. Jennyanydots / The Gumbie Cat I’ll just come right out and say that this segment was probably the worst translation from the play in the entire movie, and it happens early in the film, so you’re already questioning what the hell the rest of the movie is going to be like. In the play, she’s a slow-paced and motherly type cat that only becomes energetic at night, when she sheds her fur to reveal a vibrant coat and goes to work teaching vermin of the house good manners and skills like crocheting (as opposed to hunting them, like other cats would do). In the movie, she’s flitting about the kitchen like a hyperactive rabbit, rampantly consumes some of the insects she’s painstakingly coached, and whines about wishing to leave her household. If this butchering of her character weren’t enough, they actually included the fur-shedding bit in an incredibly disturbing skin-unzipping sequence where she steps out of her cat skin to reveal a sparkly dress underneath. Characters in the CATS play occasionally do wear some clothing accessories, but this movie does not know the meaning of subtlety, and various characters are wearing fullbody clothes which even further breaks any illusion of these characters being cats. It just constantly wants to remind you that these are human people in unitards jumping around on a greenscreen. Rum Tum Tugger Undoubtedly a fan favorite, Rum Tum is the rockstar cat who swoons all the kittens and makes a general ruckus, with stylistic influences of Mick Jagger and Elvis. To say the least, I thought his part in the movie was fine, but certainly doesn’t quite have the punch to it that the stage play does. The movie has him breaking into a 50′s style diner while milk is liberally poured for all the younger cats. Both his character and that of the Gumbie cat’s are diminished further as she makes fun of his singing and dance moves - which may have been a funny addition, if it weren’t for her alleging his show-offiishness to a recent neutering. This joke just went a little too far in my opinion, and really detracted from the rest of Rum Tum’s performance. Bustopher Jones A very charming and gentlemanly cat, Bustopher’s sequence started well and then just got really weird. His song prominently describes his love of fine dining, his cheerful demeanor, and his well-groomed fur. The last of which was directly contradicted in the movie, as he rolled around in actual garbage making an utter mess of himself. He’s shown gorging himself through the entire segment with increasing fervor, until it’s just a bit too much to bear witness to. At one point, he’s meant to trapeze into a trash can, but the cat who jumps on the other end of the catapult is markedly smaller, and nothing happens. This is actually quite a funny moment, until once again, the joke goes a little too far and Bustopher comments being “sensitive about his weight”. This is just.. a bizarre comment considering he’s sung an entire song about being charmingly large and we’ve just watched him unabashedly stuff his face for five solid minutes. Applying human weight-shaming to the ideals of a cat is just completely unnecessary, awkward, and contradictory to his character. It changes him from an indulgent but experienced chap into something to be pitied. Asparagus / Gus the Theatre Cat Possibly my favorite segment of the movie, this is the only part I actually teared up at. As a child, I always thought Gus was a very boring character with a boring part, but watching as an adult I can understand and appreciate him much better. Sir Ian McKellen did an absolutely phenomenal job of channeling the frail, endearing, proud character of Gus (despite the wonky camera work of the scene). This might be the only part of the movie that matched, or perhaps even exceeded the stage play version, and I don’t think it’s any surprise that it also happens to be the most subdued sequence, relying almost entirely on character acting and line delivery, instead of fancy effects cluttering up the screen (as this musical should be). The end of his storytelling features some “lightning strikes” for emphasis, created by what I imagine would be a simple shadow stencil, and it added some genuine atmosphere to the idea of Gus as a performer with simple stage effects. It was a nice subtle touch, and I only wish the rest of the movie could have been more like that. I found his line condemning “modern productions” to be more poignant than ever before, and it makes you wonder if this movie suddenly became painfully self-aware.  Also I just want to throw this in: Before Gus’s song, there’s an unintentionally hilarious shot of Mr. Mistoffelees walking up on him drinking milk from a dish, except Gus is mostly in shadow with his cat features obscured and is standing fully upright, so he just appears to be a hobo man lapping at a dish, like someone legit just walked up on Ian McKellen being a complete fucking weirdo.  Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer This segment was another one that just didn’t come across quite right. These two are mischievous partners in crime, causing mayhem and stealing treasures. The '98 film version characterizes them as playful and upbeat, delighting in trouble-making, but they don’t seem to be quite experienced or clever enough to get away 100% of the time. The 2019 version came off as almost.. sinister to me. They coerce Victoria into stealing, frame her, and then leave her to what could nearly be her death, all while sort of talking through their lines with a cold inflection. This is supposed to take after the original “languid” London version, but they don’t play off each other very well and you don’t get a sense of the fun, amusing partnership they’re supposed to have. It’s mostly just watching them destroy several rooms of a house and then leaving Victoria to her fate like utter assholes. I don’t really have anything more to say on these two, it was just kind of bland and forgetful and leaves you disliking them instead of enjoying watching them have a fun romp. Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat I would give Skimbleshanks the award for “most baffling redesign”. As mentioned earlier, this movie takes cats-wearing-clothing to an uncanny level, and this is certainly the uncanny-est. While the play version has him in a cute waistcoat and arm warmers with elbow patches to give a “train conductor” vibe, the movie has him in full bright red overalls, with other reviews calling him “gay nightclub Mario”, lmao! As much as I wanted to enjoy this number, the sight of him was just too weird to look past.  The tap dancing during his skit was a fitting addition to his character - he is quite bouncy and light on his feet, so I thought it suited him very well and really liked that part. His song picks up after that, with all the cats dancing on the rail and there’s more weird camera work, at one point zooming out so ridiculously far it’s actually jarring. The rest of his song was okay, a CGI greenscreen that can do anything you want unfortunately just isn’t as creative and inspiring as watching actors build a train engine representation out of junkyard scraps on an actual stage.  Magical Mr. Mistoffelees The movie really took some liberties with this character, and I’m still on the fence about whether it was a good choice or not. In the play, Mistoffelees is a magician cat, performing tricks through his segment (including the most complex dance routine of any character) while other cats usually sing about his feats (in the ‘98 film, it’s Rum Tum). They went for the younger, unsure version of Mistoffelees in this new movie, and doubled up on it by turning him into something of a comedic-relief character. He doesn’t quite have a handle on his magic, and he trips up on his words and his feet several times through the movie. This would have been fine if his musical number hadn’t been such a let down. This is supposed to be his grand moment, but his “magic” ends up being underwhelming and the chorus repeats for SO long you’re practically begging for it to end. Where “Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?” was once a cheerful and upbeat line, it will certainly become a droning echo in your mind after watching this movie. The added plot of his implied attraction to Victoria I also found kind of weird, though I’ll admit that might just be my personal tastes. I always liked Mistoffelees being a more aloof kind of cat.  Grizabella / The Glamour Cat Alright buckle in, I’ve got some strong opinions about this one. Grizabella is undeniably the star of CATS - she’s an incredibly emotional character, visually intriguing, and her performance in the musical is nothing short of heartbreaking. She was referred to as “the Glamour Cat” in her prime, but it has turned into an almost mocking title as the other cats reject and shun her. We never really know why, but it can be implied she may have been cold and elitist to the other cats who once adored her, or had some other tragic and sudden fall from grace. Despite Jennifer Hudson putting in a damn good effort to play the role of this character, the movie itself let her down. The CATS play and the Jellicle ball which it centers around, while being a musical, is foremost a ball in which cats perform for the honor of being chosen. The dancing is just as important as the singing, and Grizabella’s character is heavily communicated by her posture. She’s hunched, stiff and limping, reaching out for others to accept her, and at one point even attempts to mimic some of the other cat’s dance moves before slinking away in shame. The 2019 movie paradoxically chooses to use extremely tight face-shots for just about every character routine. It is frustrating and claustrophobic to watch a movie where cats who are supposed to be expressing their character through movement are shown from only the shoulders up, just standing there singing into a camera - and this frustration is paramount at the Grizabella sequences.  Jennifer Hudson, singing her absolute heart out with tears pouring down her face, is still emotionally lacking because of the terrible cinematography refusing to show her doing any actual acting. I was so distracted by the mucus running down her face that I couldn’t even connect with her. I thought the costuming of Grizabella was very well done, but you barely got to see any of it. Overall a very disappointing performance, because Hudson was doing all the right things, and it could have been great if the movie had met her even halfway. Macavity the Mystery Cat Played by the incredible Idris Elba, Macavity underwent some heavy changes and expansion in this new movie. He’s the main antagonist of the play, and most of his antics like committing serious crimes and alluding the police are sung about as rumors but doesn’t himself sing, and actually doesn’t have any speaking lines in the play, adding to his mysterious character. When he eventually appears, he battles with Munkustrap and steals Deuteronomy (who is brought back by Mistoffelees). Macavity is usually depicted with vibrant clashing colors, wild hair, and uses quick threatening movements, while the Idris Elba version rein-visioned him as extremely sleek, black-furred, and sly and cunning, often emerging from the shadows to tempt other cats with their vices. He is given numerous speaking lines, and his villainy is expanded on as he kidnaps the other cats in an attempt to be the chosen Jellicle. I actually quite like this interpretation of the character, and it makes him a little more relatable instead of the vicious enigma he is in the play.  Something of note is just how literally the new movie took the rumors of Macavity’s powers. His abilities, which were muted and used sparingly in the play, were used constantly and without hesitation in this movie. He spends most of his time teleporting other characters and creating illusions, but then uses trickery to try and win the Jellicle ball, and fails to demonstrate his power of levitation when it really matters. So whether he does or doesn’t have real powers seems to be.. situational to say the least. Another thing I want to point out is just how uncomfortably sudden Macavity’s reveal is. He spends most of the movie in the shadows hidden under an oversized coat and hat, and then suddenly appears at the Jellicle ball without any disguise on whatsoever. Idris Elba is a damn fine looking dude, and you can clearly see his very human-shaped abs beneath his sleek Macavity fur, which is so close to his actual skintone that I’ve seen him described as “extra naked” and it’s pretty accurate. You just really aren’t prepared for this moment when it happens. Growltiger This guy is a rough and rowdy pirate-esque character with a dramatic love life. His segment was cut from the ‘98 film, so seeing the play in person is just about the only way to experience it. Because of this, it’s probable that many people may not even be aware of this character, so I was pretty excited to hear that he would be featured in the 2019 movie. Growltiger is quite overdue for his time in the mainstream spotlight. Turns out, unfortunately, Growltiger's Last Stand is not what you get. His appearance in the movie is more or less a cameo with a short introduction, and the rest of the time he’s serving as Macavity‘s henchman in the background. This is based on the 2015 revival of him as a dock worker, but I feel it was a weak representation of his character, and really wish he’d been shown in a better light. The movie cuts out pretty much every fight scene, and Growltiger‘s would have been dramatic and fun to watch, especially after Gus’s reminiscing. Instead, he was kind of lazily thrown into a river by Gus, who previously bragged about playing the role of Growltiger on stage, which is kind of an interesting juxtaposition if you don’t think about it too hard. Old Deuteronomy A surprising change was the decision to make Deuteronomy female, played by Judi Dench. I love old grandpa Deuteronomy, but this didn’t really bother me. Deuteronomy is a wise, beloved leader of the Jellicles and there’s not really anything integral about the character that says they couldn’t be female. Deuteronomy carries himself with dignity, but isn’t afraid to dance along with the songs of the other more lively cats, and Judi Dench certainly has an air of authority and respect about her. The character’s songs are reflective and thought-provoking, but once again, the 2019 movie fails to make any of these sequences actually entertaining. The absolute worst part of the entire movie comes at the very end, when Deuteronomy makes horrific, unblinking eye contact with the camera, and slowly talks her way through the Ad-Dressing of Cats. This is absolutely bewildering considering how the movie deliberately sets up Victoria as a main character in place of the audience, only to completely chuck that out the window of a moving car just to break the 4th wall in the most uncomfortable way possible and directly address the audience anyway. What is even the point? I can’t imagine there’s a single person that would watch that and be okay with it. The Ad-Dressing of Cats is supposed to be a cute, fun little recap of everything the cats supposedly taught you, but this movie made it feel like a lecturing stare-down. Other notes The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles was cut entirely from the movie, which is fine because it isn’t integral to the story or anything, considering it was also cut from the stage play when I saw it live. I kind of shudder to think of how The Great Rumpus Cat would have been interpreted in this movie, so I think we were all probably spared some indignities.  While this movie was watchable and certainly an interesting take on the play, it creatively added very little and only succeeded in making me desperately want to go watch the ‘98 musical. I thought at least this movie would be a fun soundtrack to view, but many of the songs just didn’t have the punchiness, joy, charm, or energy that I’m used to. There were parts of it that I liked enough to say this isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but that’s not exactly a glowing review. From the perspective of a theatre fan and a furry: If I want to see CATS, I’m most certainly going to choose the filmed musical over this new movie any day.  I’m infinitely more charmed by the graceful 80′s style dancers of the play than I am by the uncanny valley, painfully human cat-people of the new movie (and honestly I haven’t seen a single piece of fanart for it, so that really tells you all you need to know).

[nomattertheoceans]

I made you a promise - chapter 6

Okay I’m actually keeping up to my schedule of one chapter a week so far, I hope I’ll keep doing that well !! Here’s chapter 6, and before you read it, quick disclaimer : I’m really bad at describing places when I write in English, so don’t be mad but there’s a whole section of this chapter I’m really not happy about ^^’

I hope you enjoy it nonetheless !!

You can also read it on AO3 and fanfiction.net

@highladyofherondale 

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Rhys and Morrigan walked into the cafe across from his office. It was Thursday already, and the week had gone by in a flash. Granted, the two lunch dates with Feyre had probably helped a little. They had met on Monday and Wednesday, and during those occasions, he hadn’t been able to keep away from her, whether by holding her hand, by pressing his hand on her back to lead her through a door, by tucking some strand of hair away from her face,... he’d just wanted to feel her against him all the time. She hadn’t seemed to mind either, not hesitating to peck him on the lips as a goodbye, and not backing away when he had slipped a hand around her waist to keep her close to him and make the kiss last just a few seconds longer. They’d kept on texting everyday since their first date, and every time he left her, he was missing her the moment she was out of sight.

He sat down in front of Mor, stirring his thoughts away from Feyre to listen to what his cousin was telling him.

“So I was thinking you should tell Azriel to come with us to Rita’s tonight. He’s been working way too hard on this new security system for the office network, I’m not even sure he went home last night.”

“I get that Mor, I just don’t understand why you think I would have more success inviting him than you did. He never agrees to go out when I invite him, I don’t see why today would be any different.”

“Well… I already tried and he refused. He told me that you needed the new system to be ready by tomorrow, so it’s your fault he’s not coming, you have to fix it.”

“It does have to be ready tomorrow, you know it does, you heard your father as well as I did during the meeting on Tuesday. And don’t tell me you actually believe I would force my brother to work day and night without a break. If he told you he wouldn’t come, he won’t come and nothing I can say will change that.”

“Yes but Rhys, Cassian came home last night and we didn’t celebrate yet, Az has to be here.”

“I know, I’ll do what I can to convince him but you know him as well as I do, if he doesn’t want to leave the office tonight, he won’t leave the office.”

“Well then we’ll just celebrate tomorrow night.”

“I can’t tomorrow, I’m busy.”

“Busy ? With what ? Amren is in Europe with Varian, and I’ll be hanging out with Cassian and Azriel. Do you have other friends ?”

He chuckled at her joke, and considered his answer for a few seconds before saying :

“No I… I have a date.”

“A date, huh ? Is it with that girl you told me about last week? The one you “weren’t going to see again” ?”

“... Yes. I actually went out with her on Saturday and it went really well.”

Mor started asking him questions again, but he stayed vague about his answers. He didn’t want to give her too many details, like for example the fact that their next date was going to happen at his house, where he had offered to cook for her. He wasn’t exactly willing to see his cousin barge into his living room in the middle of his date to introduce herself to Feyre. Meeting Feyre for lunch had been nice, but he was eager to see her in a more intimate setting, if only so that she might be more relaxed. She was hiding it well, but he could see the shadows that sometimes entered her eyes when she thought he wasn’t looking at her. He didn't know anything too personal about her, she hadn’t seemed willing to talk about her family, or her ex, and he hadn’t pushed the subjects, hoping that she would open up when she’d feel comfortable enough. Maybe being alone together instead of at a restaurant would help her feel more at ease around him, at least that’s what he hoped. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt that attracted to someone, both physically and intellectually, so he wanted everything to go as well as possible, and an impromptu visit from his cousin wasn’t exactly part of a perfect night.

***

Feyre entered the cab and gave the driver Rhys’ address. She laid back on her seat and took a deep breath, once more thinking about the events of the past week. She’d kept smiling all Sunday when she thought about him (which had been a lot, considering they’d kept on texting regularly throughout the day), recalling the sensation of his warm lips against hers, and she’d been the one suggesting meeting him for lunch on Monday. After seeing each other five times in barely a week, and sharing a few sweet kisses since Saturday, there was no denying that she found him extremely charming, and enjoyed spending time with him, but she was now headed to his house to have dinner with him, and that was quite different from just seeing him for a quick lunch. She was excited to see him again, glad he had invited her to his home, but she didn’t know if it was a good idea getting closer to him. She felt good when she saw him, but there was some other feeling crawling under the surface, and the more she thought about it, the more it felt like guilt. Guilt when she’d been the one initiating the quick kisses they’d shared, guilt when she’d let him deepen those kisses ever so slightly, guilt when she’d delighted in their conversations over the week. Every time she started enjoying herself, her mind immediately went to Tamlin, and the way she’d left him, and that even though the end of their relationship had been rough, that didn’t excuse her for already starting to like somebody else. But when Rhys had offered a dinner at his house on Friday, she hadn’t been able to resist saying yes, eager to see him again.

The taxi stopped and she paid the driver before she stepped out and found Rhys waiting for her on the front steps of a three story townhouse. He stood up to meet her and she smiled as she took in his light pair of jeans and the maroon shirt unbuttoned at the top from which she could see his tattoos peering out, immediately glad to have accepted their date.

“Hey you.”

“Hey Feyre,” he answered, giving her a small peck on the cheek and taking her hand in his.

“So you do have clothes in other colors.”

“I do. Do you like it ?”

“It’s not too bad,” she said, glad to see him blush a bit at that answer. She looked behind him, taking in the full measure of the townhouse, just now realizing they were in one of the most expensive residential districts of the city.

“This is your house ?”

“Yeah, do you want a tour ?”

“Hum, yeah sure.”

He led her up the stairs and into the house. They entered a small hall, and Rhys took her jacket to hang it on a hook by the front door, before leading her into the living room to their right. The place was … cozy, there was no other way to describe it. The entire wall in front of them was covered in books, and there were two grey chairs and an accompanying couch in the room, that one oriented at the TV, while the chairs were closer to the window, probably meant to be a place to read. On the left side of the room, the space was open and she could see the kitchen from where they were standing. He followed her gaze and started talking :

“The kitchen’s over there, I thought we’d eat in there if that’s fine with you ? The dining room is pretty big and I generally prefer to use it only for formal meetings and stuffs like that.”

“Oh sure, wherever you want is fine. You know, if we were eating at my apartment, we’d basically have the choice between eating standing up or sitting on my bed, so the kitchen is fine !”

She realized what she’d said the second the words left her mouth. Making jokes about inviting him on her bed wasn’t exactly what she should be doing if she wanted to take it slow with him. He raised a suggestive eyebrow at her and said :

“Well maybe I wouldn’t mind sitting on your bed, Darling.”

She rolled her eyes and followed him when he offered to show her the garden. They crossed the kitchen and he opened a glass door to reveal a small garden surrounded by massive trees that shielded it from being exposed to the neighbors.

“It’s not special or anything, I’m not good with flowers or vegetables so it’s basically just grass, but I like to sit out there by myself sometimes, it’s... calm.”

“I like it that way. Although my sister would disagree if she saw it, she’d probably redesign the whole thing with some exotic plant or something.”

“You have a sister ?” He answered, turning towards her. He seemed genuinely interested and she realized they had never before talked about their close families.

“Two older sisters. Elain is a florist, she’s always been really good with growing stuffs so her career was always kind of a given.”

“And your other sister ?”

“Nesta. She’s… Well Nesta is a far too complicated person to be summed up by her job or her hobby.”

He laughed at that and gently took her hand again, leading her back inside and up the stairs, passing rapidly the second floor and telling her it had three bedrooms with joined bathrooms. He did not explicitly tell her which one was his bedroom - not that she wanted to know, she reminded herself as they climbed up towards the third floor. On that floor was a fourth bedroom, a small bathroom and a study, and finally, a last flight of stairs led them to what was clearly what Rhys was the most enthusiastic about, the rooftop of his house. Pebbles covered the entire roof, and a table and some chairs were installed in the middle of it. What seemed to be a jacuzzi took up a large portion of the left side of the terrace, and an outdoor sofa occupied the right side. But it wasn’t all of this that made Feyre gasp. It was the view they had from there. They could see the entirety of Velaris, lights illuminating the bay, the ocean looking like a giant mirror where she could see the reflection of the night sky above them. She approached the rail of the rooftop and leaned against it, taking in the city. She felt him coming up next to her and they watched the city in silence for a few moments before she found the strength to tear her eyes away from the stars and look at him.

“Can I ask you a question ?”

“Anything.”

“How does a 28 year old employee manage to afford a place like that in one of the most expensive districts of Velaris ?”

He looked at her for an eternity before answering.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

[bestfriendforhire]

Entry 380

 I took a seat, watching as Jarod, Maxine, Aurora, and Mila worked.  Maxine was arguing with Mila over the merits of a new type of resistor to be used in Aurora’s car, unaware that Mila was simply helping her to bounce ideas.  The technology Mila could access was vastly beyond Earth, so she was heavily restricted in what she could admit to knowing.  Her mother did allow her to help others toward ideas.

 Jarod, Mila, and Aurora were currently assembling the revised prototype.  By most standards, I was quite certain the original prototype would have garnered tremendous acclaim for its innovations, but these four were always looking for improvements.  Maxine actually helped redesign Portentia’s headset for the superhero suit recently, increasing Portentia’s effective hearing range again and updating the display to the latest specs.

 Jarod hadn’t admitted it yet, but I believed he was enjoying having Maxine around.  She debated with him on his level, came up with brilliant designs on her own, and surpassed his hectic work schedule to keep herself entertained, since she didn’t need sleep.  Mila did tell me that the twins have grown a bit jealous at times lately when Jarod was discussing his work, but Maxine hadn’t actually tried anything… yet.  I was certain she would eventually, given that she probably found his brilliance attractive as well.  He’d handle things well.

 Aurora was doing incredibly well.  I’d had some misgivings when we first met, but the girl had proven herself to be born for engineering.  Her ability to understand schematics at a glance surpassed even Jarod, from what he and Mila had told me.  There were times that Jarod would present her with a new idea, and she’d instantly point to flaws or things that excited her about it.  Even if her ability to communicate would barely improve, she was an asset to the world, though I had faith that she’d make significant progress in communication.

 “James?  When did you get here?” questioned Jarod after he turned around.

 “Several minutes ago.” replied Maxine.

 Speaking over her, Mila said, “Three minutes and twenty-two seconds.”

 Aurora ignored them, still assembling part of the car.

 “Sorry to interrupt.  I’m scheduled to chat with Jarod about an upcoming project, but I didn’t want to rush you.” I explained.

 He seemed to think for a second before saying, “Oh!  That’s right.  Mila had mentioned that a few days ago.  Let me clean up, and we can go…”  He hesitated as he looked around.

 “Let’s go for a drive.” I suggested.

 “Sure!  Yeah.  Meet you up top after I clean up.”

 “He can wait.  He should look at the upgrades.” argued Maxine.

 “Sounds good, assuming we can keep Jarod from getting too distracted.” I teased.

 He pushed my comment away with his hand, smiling as he walked away.

 I listened as Mila and Maxine walked me through the changes they had made since last time.  I didn’t bother telling Maxine that Mila tends to give me briefings as work progresses, since she seemed rather happy about her contributions.  Scaring her into giving up crime had worked better than I expected, but Aaliyah has whatever effect she wants on people.

 When Jarod was ready, we took the lift up and hopped in his Mustang, though little of the original car was left under the exterior.  He let Mila take over driving at my suggestion.  “So what’s up?”

 “Well, we hadn’t really sat down and talked by ourselves for a while, but let’s get to business first.”

 He looked slightly concerned as he asked “Is something wrong?”

 “No, other than my desire to appropriate parts of your latest car design.” I explained with a smile.

 He blinked and stared at me.  “Wait.  What?  You know there’s typically no discussion when something’s appropriated, right?”

 My smile widened as I said, “Thought you might get hung up on that part, but Aaliyah suggested an automated taxi service a while ago.  She’s been getting things prepared with the local governments for use in the city and suburbs.  After glancing through your current work, she modified things slightly to a design we could present for the general public.”  Mila put the display on the windshield.  “With your consent, this will be Best Friend For Hire’s taxi design for the next ten-ish years.”

 “Taxis, eh?  Mila driving them all?” he asked.

 “Of course.  Don’t worry.  This won’t stretch my processing power.  This section”—a section of the screen highlighted—”will give me an unnecessary boost for a small portion of myself to control the vehicle even in the event of a power outage disconnecting the Wi-Fi.” she explained.

 “You’ll also get a percentage from the Wi-Fi network.” I told him.

 “What about Maxine, Mila, and Aurora?”

 “Maxine’s not officially doing the work, but her family’s accounts are being compensated.  Don’t tell her.  She’s still on community service in her mind.”

 ‘Yeah, I guess.  She’s… surprised me.” he replied with a shrug.  “For the first month, I was triple checking everything she did out of paranoia, but something changed in her.  She’s really trying to help out as far as I can see.”

 “I concur.” stated Mila, though she sounded amused.

 “Fine, she still picks fights with Portentia whenever Portentia comes through the garage, but she’s helped Portentia too.”

 “I’ve heard.  That doesn’t make up for all the damage she’s done… or the lives lost.” I pointed out.

 “No, but I’m glad she’s trying.”

 I nodded in agreement and then asked Mila to bring up the details of how the profits would be distributed.

 Jarod looked through the terms and asked a few questions as I went through them.  Shaking his head and smiling, he said, “The other cab companies are going to hate you.”

 “One won’t.  I bought it already.”

 “What about their employees?” he questioned.

 “They’ll each be driving the version you saw with a steering wheel until they retire.  Unfortunately, a few were retired early due to unsavory habits, but the drivers will drive, the office people will keep busy.”

 Jarod looked at me in surprise.  “You had them killed!?”

 “Not how I’d put it, but there were a few whose information was given to the Slayer family.  Most who were retired early have been compensated, probably too generously, and fired.  Of those, I have to admit that a few won’t actually receive their full compensation due to current legal predicaments, but I didn’t make them break the law.  The drug dealer had quite a surprised expression when the police took him away.”

 As I talked, Jarod seemed to be appraising me.  When I finished, he said, “James, you’ve really changed, man.”  Holding up a hand, he quickly assured me “Not in a bad way, really, but… wow.  I never thought I’d hear you talk about people dying or being arrested so casually.  When did you get used to all this?”

 “When I got married to someone who could aptly be described as a living weapon and adopted a former slave.” I admitted.

 “Whoa.  What?  Dani was enslaved!?”

 “When she was quite young.  Luckily, that situation was rectified before too much harm came to her.  Best not to mention that part to anyone.  Hate for bad memories to be brought up if she hears them.” I explained, dancing around the truth.

 “I knew slavery still existed in the world, but wow…  She’s so cheerful and energetic.  I’d never have guessed.  I don’t understand how you three grew so close in two weeks.”

 “You will one day.” I promised.  “Unfortunately, I can’t explain.  My honeymoon seemed rather long and was extremely busy, but good things came of it.”

 He nodded.  “I get the secrecy.  With Ai and Mai, I’ve learned a great deal, but I can’t even begin to guess at the secrets Alma must keep.  Our new relatives are something else.”

 Smiling, I said, “They really are, but things will work out.  I won’t let them cause us trouble.”

 Jarod laughed.  “I still can’t believe you had Raine deliver Godric home.  Ai and Mai were horrified, but Mila showed me the look on his face.  I couldn’t stop laughing!”

 “Well, she’s more than a match for his whole family together.  Imagine if she had formed that keep in midair and let it drop.”

 “That thing’s amazing!  I still can’t believe she called that an ‘oops’.”  Catching my glance, he said, “Mila told me.  I wish I could ‘oops’ things into existence.  You’ve got to get her to help me in the lab occasionally.”

 “She’s a best friend for hire.” I replied with a shrug.

 “Fine-fine, but can you imagine the possibilities with power like that?  I’ve been wanting to tie Ariadne down and get her to help me, but I think we both know the odds of that ever happening.  Mila thinks Raine might be even stronger, which I can’t doubt after seeing that keep.”

 “Ariadne wouldn’t struggle too much with creating a keep, but I agree that Raine could do far more.  She’s practicing.  Ariadne will be visiting soon to help provide some encouragement, so I’ll try to get them both into the lab during the visit.”

 “Really!?” he exclaimed, excited before I could get another word out.  “Dude, I’m going to start planning for it.  With their help, we could have things created spontaneously inside a vacuum.  Then there’s this energy idea I had where…” he started going deeper and deeper into his thoughts on low-energy nuclear reactions.

 I stopped him partway through.  “When you do those experiments, please let me be present, just in case.”

 “Sure!  You’re always welcome.”

 “I’m planning on acting as a safety net, in case things get out of hand.  I’ve actually studied control of radiation through magic and have faith that I could handle a small nuclear blast, if containment were to fail.”

 “What!?  That’s amazing!  If I had known that, I’d have tried this other idea I had much sooner.” he stated, looking at me as if I should have told him months ago.

 “Sorry, but you could’ve asked my thoughts on it.” I argued.

 He laughed and nodded.  “Life’s just so busy for both of us these days.”

 “Really is.  I know we just celebrated the triplets’ birthday before the baseball game, but we’ll be having another celebration soon.”  The triplets’ party was small by my company’s standards, but they just wanted to visit France and spend time with a few people they knew there.  I covered the expenses, at least the legal ones.

 “Whose?”

 “Raine’s on the fourth, and then Jemal’s on the twenty-third.  I was thinking we could do something cat themed for Raine and make use of her fort.  This will be her first birthday since her mother died.”

 “Yeah… that’s rough, but she seems happier these days.  I wonder if she can hear us this far out.” he commented, looking around.

 “If she’s paying attention, probably, but I doubt she is.  Being able to hear everything in a city and wanting to are completely different.”

 “Oh, master.  Just one city isn’t bad at all.” argued Mila.

 “Well, you have certain advantages in that regard.” I argued, knowing that Aaliyah had expanded Mila well beyond the technologies of any world.

 “Maybe a few…” she agreed.

 Laughing again, Jarod said, “I’d be happy to keep up with a single room.  There’s just so much happening all the time.”

 I wished I could tell him what my day was like off-world, but Aaliyah didn’t want me to spoil the surprise.  There would eventually be a day where Jarod and I could discuss aliens, but I had quite a wait.  Still, I enjoyed spending some time cruising around with my best friend.

[doomedandstoned]

Red Beard Wall Unleash Power and Fury in ‘The Fight Needs Us All’

~By Tom Hanno~

In a matter of weeks, RED BEARD WALL will release their sophomore album, 'The Fight Needs Us All' (2019), via Argonauta Records. While most definitely still the Red Beard Wall we all love, since their first release they have redesigned this Wall in the best of ways. There is a tremendous amount of growth and maturity when compared to their self-titled debut (especially on the track "Ode to Green," which we will discuss later in this review).

I don't mind saying that there are quite a few tracks on The Fight Needs Us All that I love and, out of the eight songs represented, I'd say all eight of them are killer pieces of music. Their sound is rooted in several different schools of musical thought. There's a '90s grunge feel mixed with some doom elements, some stoner vibes, and a whole lot of conviction in the vocal performances -- and, of course, are riffs galore! Plus, it's good to hear frontman Aaron Wall utilizing clean singing more, with extreme vocals being less of a focal point. Alternating between the two establishes a nice counterpoint relationship, with the interplay between these two styles being one of the clear highlights of this record.

Let's start with “Ode to Green,” seeing as how I've already mentioned it. This one reminded me of something the first time I heard it, but I wasn't sure precisely what. When I went back to it again, I figured it out immediately. Much to my surprise, the main riff -- the first one you'll hear -- has a kind of Smashing Pumpkins feel. It's not unusual to hear that influence in this genre, as a large number of these groups were teens in the '90s and they soaked up the grunge tones that now show up in their own music. I think the coolest influence to appear is when Aaron sings, “Exceptional, Masterful, Fantastical, Magical.” I couldn't believe how much he sounds like Burton C. Bell. As a fan of Fear Factory's early music, this sounds like something they would have done, and it's probably my favorite portion of this song.

I've spoken of Aaron's unique vocal approach. He can belt out harsher vox with the best of them (screaming, but with control). However, his cleans have a Page Hamilton (Helmet) sound to them, which is in direct contrast to the dirties. When I talked with Aaron Wall over Messenger recently, he told me this about this song style: “The Page Hamilton thing is a huge compliment to me! I'll take that all day long. It's definitely not intentional, but I love and have listened to Helmet so long and so much that it's bound to work its way in.”

"The Warming," fourth song in, opens up with a very sweet drum groove, resembling swing. The first guitar sounds we hear presents controlled feedback, followed by one of the catchiest guitar parts on the album. The vocal melody flows with the guitars flawlessly, and I'm reminded of Coffin Carousel a bit. Aaron seems to have captured the spirit of David Howell's vocal style here, as well.

“Reign of Ignorance” gets my nod for the best song of the record. Opening with a slow, Black Sabbath-influenced guitar lead, this tune keeps the tempo slow and the riffs heavy. The section around the three-minute mark has a really cool tone to it. I'm not sure what effect is used, but it makes this part stand out nicely.

The title track closes the album in a powerfully fine fashion. I personally see this track as the embodiment of all Red Beard Wall is as a band. Aaron's harsh vocals have such power and conviction that it's insane, with lyrics to match that power perfectly; plus the music compliments those vocals extremely well. Another thing that stood out to my ear was the fugue (or round) section. There's more of a delay between the two voices than you would normally hear, but in my opinion that only makes this part sound better. I would compare this to Coffin Carousel again, because both groups employ similar tactics: driving guitars, clean vocals, and a strong melodic sensibility.

I was floored by how much this record grabbed me and highly recommend you secure your own copy of this excellent record if you're as big a fan of heavy music as I am. All of these songs stand equal to one another, which is a rare thing to find nowadays on an album. Red Beard Wall and Argonauta Records have the record queued for release in only a matter of weeks. The Fight Needs Us All on February 22nd...and that includes you!

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[elainemariemorgan]

12 May 2021

12th May 2021

Strictly speaking, I began the 12th designing a linocut at the kitchen table whilst having a G&T with a recording of ‘Come Dine with me’ on in the background. I habitually get to bed at about 2. Actually, I  wake just before 8 and spend a desultory hour listening to R4, catching up on social media and having a think; I consider this  a privilege of retirement. Six years ago I was Head of Art in a High School, beyond stressed and unhappy with art education policies. Now, I indulge myself.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December, at the end of that strange plague year, just at the point where elective surgery was suspended and the NHS dealt with a surge in Covid hospitalisations. My lumpectomy took place in March, followed by complications which put me in hospital for a week. As the wound heals, chemo is imminent. Tomorrow, I see my oncologist for test results and, I’m assuming, a plan. This afternoon it’s the dentist. Teeth have to be in good nick before chemo kicks in. Cancer is dominating life, though I try not to let it.

I text my daughter who is due her second Pfizer vaccine today but awaiting covid test results. Lateral flows show negative: its almost certainly the common cold, as incubated by her 2 year old, last week. Consequently, her 5 year old is home from school and she’s trying to work, too. Yesterday, her GP texted to say that no more deliveries of Pfizer vaccine would be received. She is anxious. No test results yet.

Husband says goodbye - he’s off to the gym for a personal training session and I’m pretty sure he’s chewing gum.

Avocado, tomatoes and wholemeal bread for breakfast (a smattering of lemon and olive oil) with strong Yorkshire cuppa and the daily chemicals. Consult the ever-growing pink file of doom for chemo info so that I can properly inform my dentist, then its a blitz on my collection of useful glass containers (which deeply annoy husband). I love making things, from paintings and knitting to ferments and preserves. I shuffle jars of salted nasturtium seeds, cherry gin, wild garlic salt and preserved lemons around in my small stores cupboard to enable me to secrete a few bound-to- be-necessary empty glass bottles for future projects. I whittle the jam jars down by a third. Will husband notice? Be pleased? Who knows.

A quick mosey round the weeds in the garden - its just been redesigned and is now a model of control after 40 years of hit and miss planting and eclectic artefacts. A 90’ long plot, it was designed originally as an allotment garden; I feel honour-bound to take an interest in its upkeep after so much money has been spent on it. We live in a 1900s terraced house in what we like to term ‘the bohemian quarter’ of the charming Sussex village of Bosham. Our youngest daughter, partner and their beautiful boys live round the corner in a slightly grander row of semis. Our elder daughter returned to the UK 2 years ago after 13 years living and working in Thailand and works in London. We’re a close family and see as much as we can of one another.

It wasn’t chewing gum but a Rennie because exercise causes indigestion, apparently.

I wouldn’t know.

Husband back from the gym, quick lunch of baked beans, egg and toast, and off we go to the dentist.

The dental experience proved more traumatic than expected. I had realised that a tooth I had been hanging onto (though I knew its days were numbered) would probably have to go before chemo started. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen today. Its a considerable number of years since I had an extraction, and back when I was a child in the North East - Im 67 now - a visit to the dentist required courage in the face of probable brutality. Fortunately, medicine has moved on; the tooth was removed efficiently and painlessly. I cant really feel my lips yet, though, 3 hours later, and am faced with the prospect of slops for dinner whilst husband enjoys a Turners-Award-Winning-Steak-pie. He also bought doughnuts, because he has a passion for them, but tells me they’re not award winning, so Im not missing anything.

6pm and Im lying in bed, not because Im tired but because I want the peace, calm and reflection accorded by our bedroom. Typically, over the last few weeks, I have crashed out in the afternoon most days - whether its an emotional or physical thing, I don’t know. Today feels a bit disjointed - maybe its the small bereavement in a lost tooth or perhaps it’s apprehension at tomorrow’s appointment at the Big Hospital, where my treatment will mostly be carried out. Two beanie caps ordered in preparation for baldness arrived today and, on the table downstairs, there are a couple of wig catalogues. My white hair is dyed mauve/blue/pink. The models in the catalogues look like newsreaders or Saga Cruise cruisers - neat and tidy people with whom its hard for me to identify. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in someone else’s soap opera: occasionally, reality bites.

I want to know what its like to have my hair fall out dramatically. I’m interested in the impact that the drugs will have, pain, disengagement, whatever. Husband pointed out, as I knew he would, that my expected hair loss could block the shower and then I wouldn’t be able to use it (the shower). Whilst truly wishing to embrace all the new experiences I’m about to encounter,  and being determined to do so with good grace and humour, I’ll clearly have to source an extra hair trap for the shower.

A bit of casual WhatsApp chat with the girls - always a cheering thing.

Daughter’s covid test proved negative and she’s been able to have her second vaccination. Phew! Plus the boys can go back to school and nursery tomorrow.

Go downstairs at 7.00.

Husband makes dinner tonight and has made luscious mashed potato with broccoli, spinach and gravy. So not slops, after all. My mouth is coming back to life - I feel able to eat, if not quite chew. Husband enquires what I will have instead of pie - I remember a can of corned beef in the cupboard. He hands me the tin. And a plate.

Looking forward to the G&T that I wasn’t going to have, now that I’ve changed my mind.

[tisfan]

Hope I'm hitting up the right author here - for the Communal kitchen verse, can I request a fic where (since they have many children now) bucky and tony are constantly interrupted trying to have teh smexy times?

cowritten by @27dragons 

A/N As might be obvious from the prompt, this fic contains a LOT of smut, grouped together by ridiculous situations. Almost getting walked in on by kids (no actual smut is going on while the kids are in the room, but it’s a close thing. Rikki is 20 in this fic.)

For Communal Kitchen followers; this story takes place after End of Tomorrow and is some silly antics to comfort you after a rough ride with EoT.

For NON communal kitchen readers: the plot to the rest of these stories is mostly irrelevant except to note the following relationships: Rikki, Jaime, and Sasha are Bucky’s children, as part of a Hydra experiment. Zoya/Zinobiya is Natasha’s daughter via Tony as the sperm donor (sort of… it’s complicated. Read Through Him, Me and Fertile Ground if you want the background on that)

Sasha/Sav is Inhuman, as well as being part supersoldier, so he has some interesting abilities. They don’t come up in this fic, but it’s what Jaime’s looking for; the coldcuff controls Sasha’s abilities and keeps him from setting himself (or other people) on fire

The Long Winter

The meeting broke up early.

Tony didn’t get to say that very often; in his experience,meetings tended to run over schedule, rather than under. But this meeting brokeearly, which meant Tony had two whole hours for lunch before he had tobe at some investor presentation on pain of having one of Pepper’s shoes shovedup his ass.

There were other, much more pleasant things to do with his ass inthe two hours he had, so rather than fuck around with traffic, he left Happy tobring the car home and took the armor instead. He called Bucky as he tookflight. “Hey babe, guess what? Meeting’s out early. You free for an earlylunch? Or… lunch?” Best to be at least a little subtle; these days,Tony never quite knew when an impressionable minor would be listening in.

“Oh, I think I can bring you a little somethin’,” Bucky responded.“Managed t’ get Sasha to eat and he’s actually napping.” There was ahasty scrambling noise before JARVIS cut the connection.

Tony didn’t bother with the doors or the elevator, either. They’dbarely had time for a parting kiss that morning before Tony had to leave forhis meeting, and Tony wanted to make the most of every second of hisunexpectedly long lunch break. He did one acrobatic swoop around the penthouse,because it was fun (and because he was pretty sure Bucky would already bewatching) and then dropped onto the landing gantry and let the automated systemstrip the armor off. It needed to be cleaned and checked for wear, anyway.

And if he put a little extra strut into his step, well, that washis own business, and his husband’s.

Bucky was leaning against the wall, partially hidden in theshadows, arms crossed casually over his chest. “Ain’t you a sight?” He steppedinto the light, the thin tank he was wearing still damp with sweat and histight workout shorts clinging to his thighs. He let the corner of his mouthtwitch up into a grin. “Wasn’t expectin’ to see you til dinner.”

“I wasn’t, either,” Tony agreed. He stepped out of the boots, thelast of the removal rig folding away, and another two steps brought him withintouching distance of Bucky. “Guess I just got lucky.” He dragged a fingertipdown Bucky’s arm. “Your turn to get lucky?”

Bucky caught Tony’s fingers, turned his hand and brought it to hismouth to kiss Tony’s palm. “With you, always,” he said. He sucked Tony’s indexfinger into his mouth, teasing, watching Tony’s face intently as he did so.When Tony’s eyes went half-lidded, he let go, tugging Tony in for a kiss.

Tony melted easily into it, hot and eager already. He slipped onehand under Bucky’s workout tank, dragging the calluses of his fingers acrossthe skin at the base of Bucky’s spine, teasing at the elastic of those shorts.“Probably we should take this inside before another news ‘copter catches us outhere,” he said when Bucky let him come up for air.

Bucky ran his hands down Tony’s back, took a long, lingeringcaress of Tony’s ass through the flight suit. “Let ‘em watch,” he said roughly,then shook his head. “Prob’ly right, though. Stevie’d have our heads on th’table if we’re in the tabloids.” He didn’t take his hand off Tony’s backside,though, even when they turned to go into the penthouse.

They were barely through the polarized glass doors before Tonystarted stripping off the flight suit. He’d redesigned it for easier egressafter the first few Bucky had ruined with eagerness, but it still took longerthan he’d like. He kept his eyes on Bucky, though, wondering if he’d ever betired of that view. It didn’t seem like it.

(more and all the smut below the read more… or catch the fic at A03)

Bucky peeled out of his clothes in seconds and was already tuggingon the autozips that ran down the side of Tony’s leg, pressing open-mouthedkisses on each inch of exposed skin, dropping into a squat. He lingered,fingers sweeping down Tony’s thigh and then gazed up, eyelashes lowered. “Mmmm,hey there,” he said, tongue flicking out to wet his lower lip. “Got somethin’for me, to whet my appetite?”  

Nope, Tony was never going to get tired of the way Bucky looked athim, hungry and predatory. Hnnng. “I bet I can find a little something for youto nibble on,” Tony promised, hoarse. He slipped his fingers into Bucky’s hair,curled the strands around them and pulled gently, watching Bucky’s expression.

Bucky ran his thumbs up the insides of Tony’s thighs, the flightsuit still around his calves, too impatient to wait. He dropped a line ofkisses over Tony’s belly, breath hot against Tony’s skin. “Mmmm, this is nice,”he said, voice low, almost like he was talking to himself. “Havin’ you homeunexpected-like.” Bucky rubbed his cheek against Tony’s hip, then licked downthe curve, making a beeline for Tony’s cock, already half-hard. “Gonna–” Andhis mouth closed, hot and wet and slick, over the head, tongue skating alongthe ridge. He pulled back “–enjoy this.”

“Good,” Tony managed. “Be worried if you– ohhhh.” He lostthe thread of his thought there, swimming in sensation. You’d think he’d getused to it, the things Bucky’s mouth could do. “Ohhh, yeah. I’m gonna enjoy it,too.”

The thud of preteen feet on the stairs was all the warning theygot; Bucky jerked back with a bitten-off curse and Tony started franticallypulling the suit back into place. Bucky snatched up his discarded clothes andbolted for the nearest door – the one that led back out onto the landinggantry. JARVIS politely shifted the polarity of the glass to hide Bucky just intime as Jaime came up into the penthouse.

“Dad? I thought you were in a meeting all day.”

“Several meetings, but one finished early,” Tony said, and he waspretty sure he even managed to sound mostly normal. “Did you need something?”

Bucky came back in the room, his tank stretched out a bit so thehem was brushing the tops of his thighs and his shorts were on inside out, butit probably wasn’t noticeable, as long as Jaime stayed on the other side of theroom. He scraped one hand through his hair, the back of his neck red.

“Sasha needs a new coldcuff and the spares are all lockedup,” Jaime said.

Bucky stared at him. “You live in a building full of spies andsuperheroes. No one can pick a damn lock?”

Jaime’s eyes rounded. “You said we shouldn’t do that anymore,” hepointed out.

Bucky made a disgusted noise. “So, now you’re listenin’ tome? Hell of a time…” He took a deep, steadying breath.

“I’ve got it,” Tony said, patting Bucky’s shoulder comfortingly.So much for Sasha’s nap – if he needed a fresh cuff, that meant he was awakeand in a seriously bad mood. “I’ll go get the cuff and see if I can talk somesense into the toddler. You… maybe get your shower or something.”

“Yeah, okay, right,” Bucky said, grumbling and pinching the bridgeof his nose. “J? Start the shower?” He glanced over his shoulder at Tony, thenadded, “better make it cold, okay?”

“Come on, baby,” Bucky said, after Tony had almost fallen asleepinto his chicken diane and green beans. A whole day’s worth of meetings – notto mention Angry-toddler Sasha, seriously Bucky’s youngest had taken theterrible twos and run with them for the better part of three years now – andTony was visibly exhausted.

(Tony and Bruce and sometimes Hank McCoy had been working onpre-developing the stims that Tony had managed to get addicted to in thefuture, but so far, they hadn’t been able to get it just right.)

Tony mumbled something sleepy, and Bucky sighed, then lifted him up.“I got ya, princess,” he teased, holding Tony close to his chest, feeling thatwarm, cuddly contentment all the way to his toes. “Gonna take you up to bedbefore you hurt yourself.”

Tony hadn’t gone quite limp in Bucky’s arms; he had one arm slung‘round the back of Bucky’s neck to steady himself and he was drawing lazycircles on Bucky’s pecs with one finger. There was a tenseness in Tony’s bodythat belied the half-sleeping pose he was projecting. His heart sped, just asBucky nudged the elevator summons, and so Bucky wasn’t quite surprised whenthat wandering finger circled his nipple, or when Tony’s chocolate brown eyesopened as soon as the door closed behind them.

“Faker,” Bucky accused his husband, letting fondness seep into histone.

“Are you complaining?” Tony wondered idly. He didn’t wait for ananswer, just leaned in to lick at Bucky’s collarbone, then nipped sharply,sending a shock of heat through Bucky’s body. “Besides, I think we had someunfinished business to attend to…”

“Yes, yes we did,” Bucky said, decidedly. He tried hard not toresent Tony’s business, as Tony himself said it more than once, someone had topay the bills around here, but it was hard (Bucky rolled his eyes at his ownthoughts. So hard!) not to miss him, when he was gone. They’d at leastlearned their lesson enough that Tony took the armor with him whenever Buckycouldn’t be with him (and Bucky scared the hell out of most of Tony’s businesspeers and clients). “Gonna demolish you.” Bucky shifted his grip untilTony was upright, legs around Bucky’s waist.

Bucky turned, pushing Tony against the wall of the elevator, mouthseeking Tony’s, eager to sample Tony’s lips.

Tony groaned and met Bucky’s mouth with his own, just as eager.His hips were already rolling against Bucky’s as his hands clutched at Bucky’sshoulders hard enough to leave small, regrettably short-lived bruises. “God,been thinking about this all damn afternoon,” Tony panted. “Boring fuckingmeetings, and trying to pay attention, but all I could think about was yourmouth and your hands and your dick. Jesus Christ, but I need you, baby.”

Bucky shuddered, unable to keep himself from rutting obscenelyagainst Tony’s body, felt the heat of him even through their clothes, whichweren’t going to last but a second as soon as he got the door lockedbehind them. God, god, Tony was writhing against him, climbing Bucky like agoddamn tree. His mouth sealed over Tony’s, mercilessly plundering the silkencavern, tasting. The elevator opened with a soft ding, and Bucky pushed intothe penthouse by muscle memory.

In the very small portion of his brain that wasn’t occupied withhis armful of eager husband, Bucky considered the distance to the bedroom anddecided that the chair was closer. He took two steps to the side and droppedinto it, Tony ending up straddling his thighs.

Tony glanced up as they dropped, grunted understanding, and pulledBucky’s shirt off quickly before going to work at his own buttons. Buckywould’ve preferred to just rip the thing off him, but he settled for helping,unbuttoning from the bottom up as Tony worked from the top down. Finally, theshirt was on the floor, and as Tony reached up to pull off the undershirt,Bucky surged forward to catch one of those sweet nipples and torture it. Tonygasped and fumbled off the tee, then curled his arms around Bucky’s shouldersand head, holding on for dear life.

“I gotcha, baby,” Bucky crooned, rocking Tony up, flexing histhighs to rub and press against the hot vee between Tony’s legs. He unhookedthe placard to Tony’s pants, tugged at one side and let the zipper slide downas he dipped his hand inside. He leaned back to watch Tony’s face as he palmedTony’s cock through his satin briefs. There was nothing – nothing –Bucky liked better than watching Tony come undone. So, so beautiful in hispleasure; all the little worried frowns and the wrinkled knot between hiseyebrows let go, and he was just… utterly divine.

Tony wriggled into a more secure position, tucked as close to Buckyas the chair would allow, and then leaned back, putting his hands on Bucky’sknees for balance. “God,” he sighed, “Bucky… yes, more, please.” Hisback arched in pleasure, the curve of his body as elegant as Clint’s bow. “Comeon,” he said, somewhere between begging and demanding. “Need you. Want you,honey, please…” His eyes flickered shut, then opened again to watch Buckyfrom under his eyelashes, unfairly sultry.

Bucky unbuttoned his jeans, heard the fabric tear as he pulled toohard on his own zipper. Shrug. He had more pants. Twisted in the chair, rubbingagainst Tony with entirely too much unnecessary wriggling, but that was okay,because oh, god, Tony felt so good, so eager and they were–

Knock. Knock knock knock. Thatwas the door to the kid’s floor.

Go away, Bucky’s brain snarled.

“No,” Tony whined softly, head dropping to Bucky’s shoulder. Hetook a couple of deep breaths, and let the last one out slow. “Maybe it’ll besomething fast and easy?” He took another breath, looked down – probably tomake sure they wouldn’t be exposing themselves to whoever it was – and liftedhis head to call, “What do you want?”

Sasha pushed open the door hesitantly, then signed, hands movinggracefully. The boy had learned to talk in the last few months, but particularlywhen he was upset, he regressed back to non-verbal. “Jaime’s sick.”

Bucky jerked involuntarily. Which, oh, god, was probably not thebest idea. “How’s he sick?” Supersoldier kids didn’t get sick. One ofthe perks of being a superhero-parent. No flu or chickenpox or ear infections.

Sasha twisted his fingers together and stared at his feet in anagony of indecision, then finally made a spread hand, thumb near his mouth, anddrew it down. Bucky blinked; that was the sign Sasha used for foods he didn’tlike and anything involving his brother’s favorite TV show, Adventure Time.But also the original meaning–

“He threw up?”

Sasha nodded.

Tony groaned, low in his throat. “Ug, okay, we’ll… Go keep aneye on him and we’ll be right there.” He waited until Sasha had closed thedoor, then rested his forehead against Bucky’s. “I swear…”

“My turn t’ adult,” Bucky said. “Get some sleep, baby. Maybe wecan get in a roll in the morning, yeah? You like that, little sleepy wake-upsex?” He couldn’t help pressing up against Tony, one last time, letting all hiswant and frustration grumble out of his throat.

“Mmm, yeah, that sounds like a good plan, babe.” Tony ducked infor a fast, hot kiss, a promise for Bucky to collect later, then slid offBucky’s lap with another wordless whine of complaint.

Bucky let the first few words of his commands whisper in his mind,just enough to bring himself down off the edge. He couldn’t push further thanthat, his kids were both in awe of, and terrified by, the Winter Soldier. Justenough frost to cool himself, and then he got up, scowled at his jammed zipper,and then tugged his tee back on. He paused to watch Tony walk, the sway of hiships captivating, into the bedroom, before heading down the stairs to find outwhat was wrong with his son.

Dark and warm and sleepy, Tony floated just below the surface ofwaking. It was there; he could feel it waiting, but he wasn’t ready for it yet.He could feel Bucky curled around him, one arm wrapped over Tony’s waist, afoot tucked between his ankles, breath puffing against his neck, hips snugagainst his ass.

And mmm, that might be a reason to wake up a little more, the heatof Bucky’s length pressed against Tony’s skin, already hard, rocking just alittle. Just enough to let Tony know that he was awake and ready for someaction. After yesterday’s little string of cockblocks, Tony was feeling prettyready for it, too. He swam through the sleepy lethargy to push back intoBucky’s body, to tip his head and turn it enough to see Bucky’s face when heopened one eye. “Mmm, morning, sweetheart.”

“Hey gorgeous,” Bucky answered. He was sporting some epic bedhead,long mahogany hair flat on one side and curling against his neck on the other.He nuzzled at Tony’s neck, breath stirring the fine hair at the back of Tony’sskull, sending flash-pulses of sensation across Tony’s nerves. His left handtraced a line, so soft, down Tony’s arm, across his ribs, and rested on hiship. The click of tiny, delicate plates in his fingers made an interestingcounterpoint to Tony’s pulse. He licked down Tony’s spine, slithering lowerinto the bed with each wet, warm kiss.   

Tony hummed with interest, his entire body waking up and comingalight one bit at a time, like watching a computer boot up. He slid his fingersover Bucky’s metal ones, feeling the little plates catch against his skin, thendragged a slow line up the arm toward Bucky’s shoulder, as far as he couldreach without rolling over to disturb Bucky’s progress. “And a good morning itis,” he purred, letting himself luxuriate in the electric zings of pure lustthat Bucky’s mouth was pressing into him.

“God, you taste good,” Bucky rumbled. “Could jus’ eat you alive.”He made it down to the base of Tony’s spine, licking that flat triangle there,hand firm on Tony’s hip, pinning him in place. He nipped the curve of Tony’sass and deposited a kiss on his buttcheek.

Gently, he rolled Tony over, ass up, fingers teasing at the backof his thighs, just under his ass, encouraging him to rut against the sheets.“Oh, god, I like to watch that, look at you, baby,” Bucky said, his voicehoarse with wanting.

“Look all you want,” Tony said, stretching his arms out andburying them under the pillows, “but more touching would be good, too. I’mdefinitely on board with more of the touching.”

“Uh-huh,” Bucky said. He sat up, smacked a light hand down onTony’s cheek, just enough to elicit a squeak. “I’ll take care of you,babydoll.” He ran a finger down Tony’s crack. He reached across Tony with theother hand, fumbling on the bedside table and found the lube. A soft snick, andthen Bucky was drawing a silicone-slick circle around his hole. “Like this,baby, you want it?”

“God, yes,” Tony said. Barely awake and already half-begging. Hedidn’t care; it had been too long and an even more torturous wait than usual.“Need you in me, want it hard.” He shivered at only the thought; hewanted to feel the ache for the whole rest of the day. And then go againtonight, maybe, too. Yeah, that would be… Mmm. He rolled his hips up,inviting more.

Bucky leaned over him, pushing and testing at the muscles there.“Tony, yes,” he growled, low and eager. “You got it…” Bucky made a soft,wanting sound as Tony clenched down on his finger. “Get up on your knees, baby,grab the headboard. I am gonna fuck you right through the mattress.”

“Oh, god yes…” Tony pushed up onto his hands and knees,then groped for the headboard. It shouldn’t have been as difficult as it was,but Bucky was teasing at his opening, pushing and tugging, and god…

“Sir,” JARVIS said neutrally. “I have rather an urgent call foryou both from Ms. Barnes.”

“We’re busy, J,” Tony gritted.

“Yes, sir,” JARVIS agreed, “but she says the matter will notwait.”

“I’m gonna cry,” Bucky complained, then, “put her through, voiceonly.” He took a few breaths, then, “What is it, Rishka?”

“Father, Tony,” Rikki said. She didn’t sound anything other thanmildly annoyed. “Ellie got a flash she thought you should know about. She says–” in the background, Ellie’s voice. Not her normal, smart-ass sarcasm, butthe sleepy, almost dreamy tones of the seer “–that you shouldn’t do what youwere about to do. Tony’s gonna break his wrist when the bed colla– OH, GOD,ELLIE, GROSS! You didn’t tell me they were fucking. Oh, god, oh, god,I’m hanging up now.” The line went dead.

“Is this a joke?” Bucky demanded of no one.

“Ellie doesn’t usually joke about her visions,” Tony pointed outreluctantly. He sat back on his heels and looked down at his hands. “I…really cannot afford a broken wrist right now.”

Bucky closed his eyes for a long moment. “Right, right,okay, yeah, I… no, that’s fine, Tony, you don’t, I know.” He blew out a puff ofair and then rolled to his feet, reaching for his clothes. He tamed his hairinto a messy bun. “I’m… gonna go find Steve and go for a run. An’… maybe weshould think about replacin’ the bed? I mighta… done some structural damage toit, or somethin’? I’ll… sorry, babe, I’ll be back soon.” He leaned over,quicklike, and pecked Tony on the mouth, before striding out of the penthouse,running shoes in one hand.

Tony watched him go sadly. “Structural damage, right. Project fortoday, I guess.” He flopped back down on the bed with a sigh.

The bed creaked ominously. Maybe it was for the best that they’dstopped when they did.

“Definitely the project for today.”

As if in agreement, the bed creaked again and then one side of itcollapsed, rolling Tony onto the floor. The headboard wobbled for half a secondand then collapsed the other way, and – yep, if Tony had been holding it wherehe usually did, it would’ve trapped his hand and probably broken something.

Damn it.

The bedroom was obviously cursed, that was the only fuckingexplanation for the last two days. And the shop, his usual back-up spot forgetting his husband alone and naked, was out because Jaime’s tutors had givenhim some fairly hefty projects and Jaime was in and out of the shop at allhours as inspiration struck.

Bucky was within an inch of stealing one of the quinjets forrecreational purposes, putting it on the ceiling on autopilot and nailing Tonyon the rather uncomfortable back benches. No one could accidentally walk in onthem at fifty thousand feet.

He’d gone down to the shop anyway to prompt Tony into rememberingthat eating was a thing, following along behind his husband like a junkyard dogand feeling miserable about it, when he spotted the weapons’ locker. No one wasever in there, except Bucky when he’d lost another pistol and needed areplacement in a hurry. Everyone had their specialty weapons, designed andmanufactured by Tony; these were just spares. So even if there was a call toAssemble, no one would come in there, at least.

Bucky nudged Tony, grabbing the back of his rock-and-roll teebefore he got into the elevator and raised his eyebrows, tipping his chin atthe door. “Wanna make a pit stop, babe?” He licked his lips, not quite meaningto, but god damn he was almost in pain from wanting Tony so bad.

Tony’s eyes flicked to Bucky’s mouth, pavlovian, and then to thedoor. “In there?” His voice spiralled with disbelief. A second later, his brainseemed to catch up with the rest of his body, and he nodded fast. “Yeah, yes,good idea, let’s– Oh, god, all the damn ‘blocks, I’m wound so tight…”He thumbed the lock and shoved the door open, all but tumbling through.

Bucky took care to lock the door behind them before pouncing onhis husband, kissing frantically, biting at Tony’s mouth like he was starving.He wasn’t even being gentle, necking with Tony like they were teens at a movie,one hand already on Tony’s fly. “Wanna taste you, baby, gotta, oh, letme,” he babbled. He stroked Tony a few times through his pants, feeling him up.Groaned as Tony stiffened against his palm.

Tony leaned back against the wall and spread his legs, and thatwas all the invitation Bucky needed. He fell to his knees and took hold ofTony’s pants–

There was a sound. At the door. Bucky froze.

“What is it?” Tony asked, whispering. His hand crept toward hiswatch, which had all kinds of protective toys hidden in it.

The pinwheel hatchlock spun, slow and unsteady. That shouldn’thappen; there hadn’t been an alert. Bucky reached over, his fingers searchinguntil he found the grip of a pistol. They were usually stored loaded, unlesssomeone had fucked up, at least. He stepped forward, letting Tony take up ashielded position behind him.

The door cracked, then opened…

A tiny person pushed into the room and slammed the door shutagain, giggling.

“Zinny,” Tony said, sounding somehow both exasperated andrelieved. “What are you doing in here?”

Zoya turned huge, rounded eyes up at them. “Shhh!” she commanded.“Hidin’ seep!”

Bucky thumbed the safety and tucked the pistol in at the small ofhis back. “The door was locked,” he pointed out. Of course, now one ofthe genius-spy-assassin-monkey-children could pick a lock. Of course.

“Best hidin’!” Zoya proclaimed happily. “You hide too, Unca Buckyan’ Unca Tony?”

“I guess so,” Tony said drily, obediently lowering his voice forher. “Who are we playing hide-and-seek with?”

The hatch spun again and Zoya squealed, running around behind oneof the archery racks, eyes wide.

Tash poked her head in the doorway. She was holding a bowl in onehand and had a fork wedged firmly in her mouth. “Zin,” she muttered around hermouthful, sighed in exasperation, and pushed the fork into a bowl of greens. “Notthe weapons room, I said –” She stopped, glanced at Tony and Bucky, then hereyes went wide. Her gaze lingered on Tony’s mangled shirt, the red and purpleof a rising lovebite visible against his bronze skin. She gasped, allexaggerated exasperation. “Yasha! In front of my salad!” She brandishedthe bowl at them.

Tony’s head fell against the back of Bucky’s shoulder as hegroaned. “We’re cursed,” he complained.

“Zin,” Tash said, holding out her free hand. “Come on, weaponsroom is off-limits. We talked about this. Let’s go before something shoots offin here.”

Bucky flushed, embarrassed, but refused to drop his gaze, even ifhe could think of absolutely nothing witty to say, knowing, knowing,that they were going to have to endure Tash’s sly humor and snide remarks allthe way through dinner, and it would be worse if they actually took thetime to finish anything. Heaven help both of them if they were ten minutes latefor dinner at this point. As soon as the door closed pointedly behind the twored-heads, Bucky almost squashed Tony against the wall. “Not. Fair.”

“Seconded,” Tony whined. “When they talk about how hard it is toraise kids, I didn’t realize how literal that was going to be…”

Cursed. They were absolutely fucking cursed. They’d triedhiding in Bucky’s bolthole apartment, and were interrupted by a squabblebetween the cleaning bots, who usually remained hidden but considered thebolthole their own personal territory thanks to Bucky’s training.

They’d gone to Tony’s executive office in the SI offices – afterhours; they weren’t animals – only to have Pepper come over theintercom to remind Tony that there were security cameras in there, and if theydidn’t put their clothes back on right now, she was going to destroyboth of them with her bare hands.

They went to a local sci-fi convention (and were almostrecognized, but played it off as being really good cosplayers) andchecked into the hotel, but were interrupted four times by someonepulling the fire alarm as a prank, until they gave up.

Bucky even tried pulling Tony into the vents, but Clint stumbledover them.

That wasn’t even mentioning the three separate occasions whenthey’d been nearly all the way undressed only to have the Assemble alarm sound.

All in all, it had been more than a week since they’d managed tohave sex, and if it had been a week where Tony was off on a business trip, thatwould’ve been manageable, but no, it had been a week of almostgetting to have sex and then being interrupted at the last. Possible. Second.Like an entire week of edging. It was maddening.

Tony flopped into the (new, structurally reinforced) bed thatnight and almost didn’t even want to try. He stared at the ceiling andwondered what was going to fuck things up this time. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Kids all in bed and asleep?”

“Sleeping soundly, sir.”

“Villain activity?”

“No unusual activity at the moment.”

Tony glanced toward the bathroom, where Bucky was. “Seal all thedoors and if anyone asks for us, send them somewhere else. I don’t even carewhere. No calls, period. I do not care if SI is on fire or Ellie sees mebreaking my leg. I will take the fucking broken leg if it gets me laid.And we’re not Assembling for anything smaller than the entire goddamn countryat hazard. If it’s just a city, the rest of the team can handle it. You gotme?”

“I understand perfectly, sir.”

Bucky came out of the bathroom, towel around his shoulders,wearing a fluffy terrycloth bathrobe that Tony had given him for Christmas oneyear, and he almost never actually wore, preferring, Tony thought, to showingoff his chest when fresh out of the shower and tempting Tony with a towel hunglow around his waist. His gaze flickered up to check Tony’s face, then back tothe window with its admittedly impressive view, but not really what Tony wantedhim looking at.

“Honey? Everything okay?” Bucky’s vision wasn’t as impressive ashis hearing, but it was better than Tony’s.

“Do you know, statistically speakin’, that there are, globally,seventy-nine million people having sex at any given minute of any givenday?”

Tony considered that. “That sounds about right,” he agreed. “Wantto come over here and join them?”

“Gettin’ close to th’ point where I might kill someone t’ be ableto take you to bed and stay there ‘til the job’s done,” Bucky said. He wasstill staring out the window, however, hadn’t even twitched in Tony’sdirection.

Tony got up and joined Bucky at the window, slinging his armaround Bucky’s waist and leaning into Bucky’s side as he, too, looked out overthe city. “Pretty sure that would just cause more interruptions, not fewer.”He glanced at Bucky, sighed. “If we give up, the terrorists win.”

Bucky shuddered at Tony’s touch, then pulled him closer. “Can’thave that,” Bucky said, mildly. He shifted a little, then tipped Tony’s chin upand lowered his mouth for a kiss. Soft, gentle, not demanding or rushing oranything, a tingling pressure of lips and breath and nothing more. “You know,it ain’t jus’… that. It’s more’n that, babe. Miss bein’ close withyou. Feels like you’re half th’ world away.”

Tony nodded. “I know. Hell, it might be easier if I washalf the world away. But hey, I know you heard me talking to JARVIS. I’m allyours tonight. Promise.”

“I’m all yours,” Bucky said. “All th’ time. Always.” Hesighed into Tony’s embrace, kissing him again, soft and easy. He cupped theside of Tony’s face, thumb brushing over his jaw, down his chin, urging Tony’smouth open for him. Teased at his lip until Tony leaned forward to meet him,and still it was slow. Exquisitely gentle. Like Bucky thought Tony mightdissolve into nothingness, float away on the breeze. “I ain’t so good withwords, doll. An’ I love you, so much. Sometimes, this–” he ran a hand lightlyover Tony’s chest “–this is the best way I know how t’ show it to you.”

It was sweet, and perfect, and unbearable. “Love you,” Tony said.“Forever, for the rest of my life, I love you. Come to bed, honey.”

Tony had never witnessed Bucky so tentative; each touch and caresswas deliberate, stroking Tony’s skin, dropping soft, heated kisses, but hemoved with heartbreaking caution. He kept his eyes on Tony’s face as he laidTony back on the bed. If it wasn’t for the way his hands were shaking, the wayhe worried his bottom lip with his teeth, Tony might have thought he wasdisinterested. He nuzzled at Tony’s throat, tonguing that spot where Tony’spulse throbbed. “God, Tony,” he murmured into Tony’s hair. “Baby,sweetheart, my life, my love.”

Tony combed his fingers through Bucky’s hair, trying to soothewhatever strange mood had gotten under Bucky’s skin. “I’m here,” he promised,“right here, just for you.” He took Bucky’s hand and laid it over his heart,pressing it down to feel each beat. “Just for you, but god… Touch me, Bucky.Need you to love me now.”

Bucky’s chin snapped up at that, and he looked at Tony with suchan expression of longing that it made his throat go dry. “Oh, Tony,” andthat came out choked and stricken, before Bucky kissed him, hard and wet, witha touch of wildness to him that got more aggressive as Tony opened up to him.His hands were everywhere, fingers tangling in Tony’s hair and tugging his headback to expose his throat, the metal fingers dancing down Tony’s side. With twofingers, so gentle, barely moving, Bucky stroked down the line of Tony’s cock,the polished metal slick and cool against his skin.

Tony arched into it with a gasp, letting Bucky move him whereverand however Bucky wanted him. Bucky was like a force of nature, unstoppable anduncontrollable. And yet if Tony breathed a word of complaint, Bucky would stop.Tony had no doubt at all of that. It was a heady sense of power.

Not that he wanted any of it to stop. He was desperate for everytouch, every taste, every sensation. “My soldier,” he whispered. “Yes.”

Bucky made a high, reedy, needy sound in his throat. He shuckedhimself out of the bathrobe, let as much of his skin touch Tony’s as possible.Then slithered down the length of Tony’s body, spread his legs to make room,paused to savor the moment, mouth mere millimeters away from Tony dick, waited.Watching Tony’s face intently. “Bucky, yes?” He lowered his mouth a fraction,lips opening.

Tony shuddered. “Bucky, more,” he begged, fighting to lifthis hips, to twist them, anything. “Please.”

Bucky waited just a little longer, eyes sparkling with delight,then…

He opened his mouth and took Tony in, all the way to the base inone slick, wet pull, tongue working in brushing strokes as he went. When he hadTony all the way back, his throat pulsed as he swallowed, sucking his cheeksin. He twisted his chin from side to side, giving Tony friction and brilliantsensation, then pulled back and almost off before sliding back down. His lipswere a tight ring over Tony’s dick and Bucky’s tongue was sweet, achingtorment.

Oh, god. “So good, Bucky, oh… Fuck, I’m not goingto last…” He’d been too keyed up for too long to let any kind of tease slowhim down. “Bucky, baby, honey, you are a goddamned miracle.”

Bucky slid back, reluctantly. He licked once, then again, at thesensitive crown. “Can’t have that, baby, you gotta wait for me.” He glanceddown and then groaned at the sight, Tony’s dick quivering and glistening.Tasted it again, like he couldn’t resist.

A soft whimper slid out of Tony’s throat, but he couldn’tdisagree. It was always best if they came together. Which did not stop him frombucking up into each lingering, careful touch in search of friction and heat.

He managed to pull himself together enough to twist around toreach for the drawer in the nightstand with the lube. “Fastest prep ever,” hesuggested, tossing the bottle down the bed. “I want to feel every bit of you.”

Bucky gave Tony a Look, with a capital L. “You know I ain’t gonnatake th’ risk in hurtin’ you, Tony,” he said. He wet his fingers, slid his handbetween Tony’s legs to tease and circle him, which, if Bucky was going tolecture him, at least he wasn’t leaving Tony hanging while he was doing it, andTony could ignore the scowl Bucky was giving him as he twisted and wriggled,trying to move Bucky faster, harder, now now now–

Oh Christ– Bucky slid one finger in, crooked it and stroked alongTony’s prostate, once, twice, three… oh, god, practically tortured it,rubbing and pressing, but just one finger… used his thumb to tease at Tony’srim. “I got you, Tony, baby, relax, honey, I got you…”

“This is not a relaxing situation,” Tony shot back. “Come on, Ijust… God, I need you so bad, Bucky, please. I know you love to makeme squirm but– fuck! –I’m begging, I just need you in me, come on…”

“I need you,” Bucky said. He added a second finger, scissoredthem, watching as Tony twisted, hissed at the pressure. “Need you so bad, wantyou so much. Want you t’ open up for me, there we go, yeah, like that, baby.It’s good, it’s good, I’m gonna give you what you need. There you are, baby.”He tugged, light, against the rim, then pulled his fingers out. Lubed himselfand lined up. “Oh, god…” Pressed the head of his cock in. “I got you, Tony.Bring me home.”

“Come on, honey,” Tony urged, rocking his hips up, pulling Buckyin closer. “Want all of you, every inch, as deep as you can go.” It ached inthe best way, that slow slide in. It was almost the same way his heart ached onthose rare occasions that he woke up and Bucky was still asleep and he couldwatch through those quiet moments. God, but he loved Bucky. “Love you,” hesaid, panting and wrapping his leg over Bucky’s hip. “My soldier. Come onhome.”

Bucky groaned, straining, and his metal hand came up to push atTony’s thigh, spreading him wider. The plate shifted, a sharp pinch, and thenheat spread from the bruise as Bucky switched his grip. And then Bucky buriedhimself in Tony’s body, thrust in all the way to the hilt, demanding and urgentand perfectly imperfect. “Oh… god.” Bucky leaned in, tucked his faceagainst Tony’s throat.  

“Yes,” Tony moaned, wrapping his arms and legs around Bucky. “Giveit to me, honey. Give it to me good, I need you.” It felt so good, likepart of him had been missing and was returned. And he still wasn’t going tolast.

Bucky rocked him, pushing deeper. He lifted himself up, hands oneither side of Tony’s head and ploughed into Tony, spine seemingly as flexibleas a snake’s. “Look at me, baby, lemme see you,” Bucky pleaded. And oh, god, itwas hard to keep his eyes open while Bucky was doing such delicious things tohis body, but at the same time – once he met Bucky’s eyes, near black withdesire – he couldn’t look away. “There you are… come on, baby, touch yourself,so close, I’m… oh, christ, fuck, Tony, you’re so…”

Tony thought he was going to come the instant he touched his dick,but he managed to keep it together, barely. He stroked himself nice and easy,maybe every three of Bucky’s thrusts, not wanting it over yet. “You feel good,honey? Tell me how much you like it.” Bucky had a bit of a love-haterelationship with talking in specifics during sex; pushing that button waseither going to speed things up or slow them down, and either way, it was awinner for Tony.

Bucky shivered, and the movement did interesting things to theplace they were joined together. “Yeah, you always wanna hear about it,” hegrowled, “you want me t’ tell you how warm you are, how slick and tight ‘roundme. The way you move, god, you make me th’ best kinda crazy, like I’m an inchfrom touchin’ eternity. Everythin’, everything you do, makes me wild. I c’nbarely keep my hands off you, an’ I…god, need you so bad, Tony. God, soperfect, look at you, god, how you take me, how much you want it.” He wasmurmuring in Tony’s ear, praise and worship and needy and eager, telling Tonyhow sweet he was, how good it felt, how every little twitch and flex wastranslated directly into his cock, his balls, how soft Tony’s skin was, howgood he smelled. “Baby, you’re th’ best thing I ever touched, can’t believe,sometimes, that you let me.”

Tony almost laughed at that. “We’ve been together for more thanfive years, sweetheart. You’re going to have to believe it eventually.” Henuzzled up under Bucky’s jaw to leave the sharp little bites that made Buckyshudder with sensation. “Mm, love it when I get you to talk dirty for me.S’when I know you’re wound up nice and tight.” He moved his hand faster,matching Bucky’s rhythm. God, he wanted to come; he could feel it buildingright at the base of his spine.

Bucky’s arm slipped under Tony’s back, yanking him down, pinninghim in place as Bucky slammed home. The intense, focused expression faded asBucky got closer to his own release, until he was almost sleepy-looking, eyeshalf-lidded, breath speeding. “Tony, oh, god, you feel so damned good, I… youunravel me. Oh, god, Tony, Tony, come on, I’m…” Bucky threw his head back, hiships moving reflexively, working in Tony with abandon.

“Yeah, honey, let it go, come on, I’m…” Tony’s breathing wasgetting rough and raw, and electricity built in his balls. He was going tocome, any second, just one… more… push– The world dissolved into fire, andhe was pretty sure he yelled something. Maybe Bucky’s name, maybe justnonsense. Didn’t matter, didn’t matter, not with the way his bones were turninghot and liquid, oh god, it felt so good…

Tony’d been flattened by his supersoldier before; at least thenewer mattress was somewhat softer, so he could still breathe. “Oh, god, Tony,”Bucky managed. “Christ.” He heaved a few deep, almost sobbing gaspsbefore he shifted his weight. He rolled off and sprawled out, taking up morethan his fair share of mattress. He kissed Tony’s forehead.

“Fuck, I needed that,” Tony sighed. “I love you.” He didn’t reallywant to move at all, but he groped around enough to hook his ankle underBucky’s leg.

“Needed you,” Bucky said. “I was this far–” he held out hisfinger and thumb about an inch apart “– from spontaneously combusting.”

Steve was leaning against the fridge, arms crossed over his massivechest with his very best Your Captain is Disappointed in You look plasteredacross his face.

Bucky stopped dead. Tony was following so close behind, theirhands twined together, that he actually ran into Bucky’s back.

“What th– Oh, hey, Cap. What’s… with the face?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. He knew they’d told JARVIS not tointerrupt them, but surely if there’d been an assemble call, J would have said something.Which meant that Bucky had no idea why Steve was looking at them like he wasgetting ready to chew steel and spit staples. And assign them both to KP orsomething.

Steve unfolded his arms. “I’m interested in your explanation forthis,” he said shortly. “Pepper is going to stomp on us with cleats forthe bad PR.”

Bucky actually turned and looked behind him, to see if someoneelse – Clint, for instance – might be following, and therefore a betterreceptacle for Steve’s anger. “Um, what’s this?”

From his back pocket, Steve withdrew a folded piece of newsprint.He flattened it carefully, then slammed it down on the kitchen table. “This.”

Bucky took a few more steps into the kitchen to look.

Oh.

Oh, crap.

Tony leaned around Bucky’s arm to look as well. “Oh. Well, crap.”

The article itself was wild speculation, headline coyly suggestingthat the Winter Soldier was cheating on his meal-ticket husband and had dodgedout of sight when Iron Man returned unexpectedly.

But there was Bucky, on the front damn page, buck-assed naked onthe Avengers Tower landy gantry, backed up against the door to the penthouse –from a week ago, when Jaime’d chased him outside in a hurry. Those telephotolenses were pretty damn good, too, because it wasn’t a grainy, fuzzy image,either, but rather high-def. He was high-stepping into his shorts, one leg bentto shove his foot through the leg hole, body facing the camera while he lookedback over his shoulder. The metal arm particularly stood out.

Tony, all but immune to Steve’s face, hummed thoughtfully and saidwith an audible leer, “At least they got your good side.”

They’d pixilated out his dick, at least, for the front page, butBucky would be willing to bet that somewhere, some paparazzi had the fullmonty. Which meant that either some yellow journalist was going to be coming toTony with a hand out for a big payout, or Bucky’s erection was going to end upall over the internet.

Tony chortled, pointing at the caption. It’s going to be a longwinter.

[taberdoodle]

Why does Venus like Victor, and how did he get the scratch over his eye? Sorry I'm kind of a newbie but I really do like your characters.

!! qoq *excited about answering venus questions* well in multiple different au’s Venus always has a different reason to liking Victor. The first ever rp I had with Venus, he was in love with Aaron. got married and everything. But at some point Aaron was kidnapped and Venus was told Aaron had been killed. That was when Shawn came into Venus’ life for the first time ever. Both Victor was mostly helping Venus cope and take care of Shawn, while Kinder at the time still hated Venus (since Venus wasn’t strong enough to actually protect Aaron, and would often cry a lot…or in short… “venus was being a little bitch” XD jkjk.) though Victor in that au never really got in a relationship with Venus. He had honestly helped a lot, but did…i guess grow quite closer to venus…Yet void and i didn’t really dive into it too much in that story. There was the second au that was closely connected to that one, where Victor still wasn’t yet gonna end up in a romantic relationship with Venus. This time Venus had…uuhm…been struggling a lot. Aaron hated him. and even gotten to a point where Aaron honestly didn’t care if Venus died…Venus’ mom was around (Jupiter) and she currently was in love with Kinder, but because of what Venus ends up doing…which i wont dive into details…Kinder and Jupiter end up…disagreeing. Kinder didn’t caare what happened to Venus, and Jupiter was distraught about her son. Though Victor showed a lot of emotions too. He cared about Venus too. To which Victor actually helped Jupiter out, taking her far away from there, leaving Aaron, Shawn, and Kinder to themselves. While Nova followed after Venus…Making Jupiter lose her mind. But because of Victors care and love for Venus, he took care of Jupiter. knowing that she too, would probably would follow them, but with his support she was able to stay sane. Then i dont remember any others after that one if im missing any between. but the next one. The next one started out with venus changing completely (it was when i redesigned him.) to which Venus had never done anything criminal, and he had drifted away from my original plan, and this was how i got the Venus that i love so much now. Venus first met Victor at night while walking home cause Virgil made Venus uncomfortable, and he eended up just sitting alone under a street light, waiting for Virgil to be completely gone. That was when Victor showed up and checked on him. seeing if he was okay or if he needed someone to walk him home. And honestly, venus didn’t think he would ever see Victor ever again, yet he rejected his offer and said he was fine and would just stay there…he would honestly regret it XD and wished he did take the guys offer. though then with the story Darek was alive and around, yet he had a crush on Venus and was one of his highschool friends. Venus had been crushing on Aaron still, i believe..but over all, there was a lot of drama with Aaron and Venus to which Virgil made it harder for him. Which lead to Venus meeting Victor once again. Victor was the owner of the bar and had always been an owner of many bars in other au’s XD and Venus had gone over there to drink like crazy cause he was upset (which is bad and you shouldn’t, and he knew he shouldn’t. especially since he has no one to drive him) to which victor was caring for venus while he was getting wasted XD and since venus had no one nor a ride home. Victor did the duty of driving him home. Which led to Victor spending the night at Venus’ place, and also really… “bonding” with him. and you know, after that it wasn’t official or anything, it was mostly seeming like Venus was desperate for a friend, or even a boyfriend or something. He was upset over Aaron and couldn’t get over it…and Victor didn’t seem like he was planning for a full relationship yet. But they exchange numbers and Victor was willing to be a sweet friend withbenefits*cough* Though the thing that made Venus fall for him more, was later when venus had ran away from his own home/apartment. he booked a hotel to stay at and was honestly distraught even more with stuff about Virgil and Aaron. he called Victor, and Victor didn’t hesitate to come to help him and listen to his feelings. To which Victor straight out had told him “…then why not be mine?” …or uhh something likethat, i cant remember and it’ll take too long to find it. THOUGH OVERALL!!! Victor had confessed and wanted to be with Venus. Venus wasn’t 100 percent sure about it, he was startled. But later on, he straight out asked to be victors forever and he grew out of Aaron and fell for Victor. Things got complicated and crazy later.

But truly, how it all started out, Venus was in love with Victor because it felt like he was the only person who ever wanted him. Who he didn’t chase after. (though Darek did want him sadly, but Venus didn’t like it because Darek seemed…a bit creepy. which Darek had been doing things that were NOT okay.) though to Venus it still felt like it was true. quq

with others au’s after that one…Venus always fell for him for similar reasons or just because he found Victor extremely attractive XD or that he felt safe. Or it would be switched around where Victor was interested in Venus first. 

though in almost all au’s so far, venus is always falling in love with Victor. (and recently we’ve had Victor and Skott in the same au’s with them quq so that’s a lot of fun, i dont wanna miss out on those lovely two~) 

TL;TR: Venus is in love with Victor because he’s russian Venus felt like Victor was the only person to ever really care about him or have interest in him first. 

as for the scar on his eye when i first made him? (Venus on the right) 

he got that scar the same day he got the ear piercing, and the same day Darek had been killed. (which was the first story ever for Venus) and Venus only tells people that all he remembers, is that he was naked and fighting a bear. He doesn’t remember how he REALLY got it (and i never decided XD) but over all Venus had been doing some “bad stuff” and he doesn’t remember the night all that much. He only remembers waking up to the casualties all around him, the piercing on his ear. his eye bleeding like crazy, and his hair toasted completely short, as if he had accidentally set it on fire.he doesn’t remember much of it.though the Venus that i have now, sometimes has some au’s where he looses his eye. It depends on the au’s though. Purge Au, Recent Au that we’re working on which is fun. One of the first ones with his new design. it’s often that it’s either Victor, or someone like Sol tends to end up causing the damage. ^^;

though if Victor ends up being the one to do the damage. He tends to regret it a lot later on. Venus doesn’t really hold it against him. Yet always feels sad that he can’t see Victors beauty with both eyes.(also this picture is from the recent rp) also i’ve decided which eye that venus loses and the picture above, it’s the wrong eye XD it’’s his actual right eye that he loses often. 

i have a few other pictures i drew in college, where it shows the correct eye that was lost. but this post is already long enough. i’ll post all the pictures at a later time

[aberaham]

What about this Abesome Life?

- 27. february 2017 -

Heya Guys 'n' Gals,

my brain is hot at work and doesn't give me a break! But my body was pretty lazy last week. I still did some work and started a new Job which will bring me some cash but I could've done more! Well, can't we do better all the time? Anyways, I'll gonna talk a lot about Abesome Life again to sum it up.

Polishing those Characters

As I showed you last week I'm working on refining all the Abesome Life cast you know and who will come. First of I read a lot of Character design rules and guidelines and found something that makes it way easier to me than anything else.

When I think about those characters, which three attributes come to my mind. Then based on those Attributes I gonna design their Look -Face, Hair and Outfits-, their speech pattern and how they act.

I'm gonna take this Rule and make it the first and most important one for my characters. Of course, there are other but those are helpers. They gonna help me define them even more. The three attributes are the base and essence of my Character. The other guidelines will help make them even more interesting. For example what color do they prefer? What's unique to them; this is also a quite important design element.

Make them Unique but not too complicated!

If your characters look too busy it is hard to look at them. They need to stay simple for the reader, viewer or listener to identify with. Simple is a description which is hard to balance. I think there is an order of three stages where you have to balance it out.

Simple - Interesting - Complicated

If your Character is in the middle -Interesting- then your Spot on and if you're an amazing designer you can put the cherry on top to make him or her unique.

But back to my Characters and their designs. I basically have the three attributes for everyone so far and I don't have a problem with drawing them in full body and Portrait but where I struggle are the outfits. I'm a bit torn here. I love different Outfits on characters and I cringe when I see something like "This person always(!) wears red or the complete same outfit!". I mean for children Cartoons it is okay but it is not believable in my opinion. that's why I want at least design four to five outfits for each character. basically their seasonal look and some additionals like beachwear or something like that.  Based on those designs I'll vary around. For example, T is wearing a T-Shirt. The Shirt will have regularly another print on it. One of his Attributes is "Nerd" so they will be Game and Toon references. Of course, the Characters will have their Favorite Clothes and those will be almost constant on them. After all none of them is a rich goon and can buy new Clothes every day.

What's about this year?

Let's widen the scope a bit and talk about the whole Abesome Life universe and what is planned for it this year. As I previously said I have multiple pages of AL One-Offs written and some already ready to be uploaded. I took these pages and checked how far I get with them. My Idea flow for it is coming to an end for the time being I need to think about what I do after this and prepare for it. To date it, I'll get to Page 74 and it will be uploaded on the 15. August.

After that, I'll do the same with my Pokémon Nuzlocke Comic. translating every Page so far in German, Upload those every Tuesday and Thursday to Facebook and the English version on every other Platform. But those won't be so long as the One-Offs. You see my Nuzlocke Comic is divided into Seasons. and the First season is done after Page 20 which will be online on the 26. October.

After that, the big Abesome Life: Continue will live up to its name and continues. But not in the same way the other Comics. If and that's a big if, I am able to manage this I'll upload the whole first Chapter "Login" at once. I don't know if I'm gonna translate it to German as well but it would be probably appropriate.

I haven't planned further than that but since Christmas is slowing arriving I think about working on the Christmas Special again. It only exists on my Homepage in German at the moment so it could get the same treatment as everything else and I gonna translate it and upload it to all the other platforms. But I honestly want to redo the whole thing. My friends tell me not to do it since they love it how it is but I'm not satisfied with it and I know I still won't be when I finish all the redesigning and such. But if I really gonna do that it won't be done for this years Christmas for sure.  I still need to think about this a bit more.

All in all, these are my Plans for the whole Abesome Life Universe this year. Obviously, I wanna continue every Abesome Life comic next year and after that but no one knows how my life can turn out. Even now, I can't tell if I'm able to do all this what I planned in a month or so. After all, I tell you on a regular basis what I'm planning and in the end, it didn't happen that way. But on the other hand For Abesome Life I feel like I am at least motivated and inspired. By you people. Since I Upload on a regular basis I get feedback. My previous plans were longtime projects like Smuggler Affairs or something different. But Abesome Life is present every Tuesday and Thursday... and sometimes even Monday. Your likes, shares, and comments are helping a lot and you need to know that. Don't think "Aw, he probably don't wanna hear something like that. What's my comment worth anyway." No. Exactly the opposite. Even a simple "Hi" helps me pick up the pen and keep drawing.  

That takes me to the next thing I like to talk to you. I have a void over the weekend. A five-day gap between comic pages. I need something to do on Friday or Saturday to fill that void with an Internet presence. But what? What would you like to see?

Ultimately I wanna try out Live Streaming but I feel like my fan base is too small at the moment and I fear I gonna sit there drawing and talking to myself for an hour. Some weeks back I already mentioned it but I feel like Livestreaming is a thing for me when I have a 100+ Follower/fan base.

But until then I want to do something on the weekend. Is it a short video about something, some drawing process uploads or a featured day like Fanart Friday or Space Saturday. I don't know. I like to hear your input to that!

The Vote comes to an End

Speaking of your feedback, the voting for your favorite Abesome Life Classic Comic is going to end tomorrow. Here it's how it looks so far.

I don't think anything will change in that short time. even another vote gets in and there will be a tie, I gonna take the leader from today since it is longer in the lead.

But obviously if another Page will take the lead it will be the winner and I'm gonna color that page then. But for now, you can expect to see "Goodbye" in full color.

What else?

Well, I talked A LOT about Abesome Life right now and let me make it clear: I don't work day and night on it. I can work on other projects and Jobs and Abesome Life will still be uploaded regularly.

For example here is a sneak peak of a piece of work I do at the moment and I'm quite proud of so far.

Well, you obviously don't see so much of the picture and can't see why I'm proud of it, but you need to take my word on it since I worked really hard on it and you'll see it in April in its full glory.

I'd like to show some other projects but on the one hand they are still early stage and on the other hand, I got the word not to share it since it is quite private for the person. But let me at least tell you, for me, it is something completely new to do and I enjoy exploring my possibilities and learning something new. For now, I'm satisfied but I feel like when the project gets into detail I'll gonna have some issues with the style I need to overcome.

Keep your desks clean

Abe

[the-quitter]

Notes - 3

I’ve been inconsistent with my notes titles.

Don’t worry, I fixed it.

Just had a brainstorm. The reason I haven’t tagged this NSFW is because this is an aspect of nature. And I’m not making a joke out of it, or making it an explicit thing, I’m discussing it the same way one would if they were talking about flowers, or animals.

I mean I personally don’t think the discussion of genitals and sex should be censored. It should be treated like a biologic discussion, because it is a part of biology, and a natural cycle of life. And even as a kid, you’d see animals, and bugs, and even plants reproducing. Nature is this way. So don’t lynch me for talking about it? 

Instead I invite you to think and share about your ideas on this as well.

Now since the day I learned about aliens, and watched alien movies, I’ve of course also read fan-fictions and seen fanart. And listen, I’m not going to lie, but those works were definitely nsfw. I looked at fantasy and made-up creatures as well, and was a bit disappointed at the variety. Now problem is, even when I think about it now, most sexual intercourse requires a sword and a hilt. In rare cases there are spores, but that’s about the extent of my knowledge. My point is that there’s no real diversity when it comes to genitalia. I have only looked at the flea, when it comes to insect genitals, but otherwise, it seems sex organs are relatively... boring. It just involves an inserting apparatus and a hole.

It feels so weird to call the reproductive organs boring, is it just me?

Sex, or the act of sex, is quite different. Now when I say sex, I mean interaction between two (or more!) sexes in order to produce offspring. So I’m ruling out self-replicators because, well. That’s not really sex? I mean you just split in half. And most of the time large complex organisms can’t preform such a feat! In fact, I can’t think of a single intellectual specie to do it.

I suppose one could argue that earthworms are... intellectual. But to which I will look deep into your eyes, stare for a good solid minute, and say, ‘are they really tho?’

Now of course if there’s a specie that does do this and is a bit closer to the snake than the earthworm, please let me know. I like learning, but not researching (only slightly joking).

Now I generally dislike the penis gifted female, because I’ve only seen it in pornography, and feel... Just not good. For some reason it feels like they’re being demeaned, but perhaps I’m the real villain for saying that I don’t like looking at such materials. There’s a whole issue in there I’d love to expand on, but let’s steer back to sex.

Now the reason I brought up the girl-boy, is because I’m thinking about how fertile or virile the associated parts would be. And if I were to make-up a specie where this is one gender, the other being essentially sex-less, would it be possible for ‘same’ sex partners to reproduce? And I suppose both yes and no answers would make sense.

However I want to make it so that the other sex is important as well. I mean if one can reproduce without the other then there’s probably going to be a massive imbalance.

Actually, let me think this through...

The way I see it is this, sex is a pleasurable experience, and if the specie is as intelligent as the human, it would rather enjoy lustful activities without the risk of pregnancy. This means that if same sex partners have intercourse, and it feels good, AND their organs don’t flower, then homosexuality would be extremely common with almost no complaints. Now what this means for the opposite sex is well... actually I don’t know... They’d most likely be homeless or left alone, I mean they’d be treated like an entirely different species.

However. IF same sex reproduction is possible... then I suppose they’d at least be more included... Or more like there’s no real reason to exclude them.

Hmm..

While I was typing it out, I was thinking a lot more about the species, and I think it should be a poly-amorous thing. With the homosexual intercourse being pleasure-less and sterile, but the poly sex (which includes two, or more, from the same sex and one, or more, form the opposite) being fertile and extremely pleasurable. Having a litter is more common, and the girl-boy gender is more common than the gender-less counterpart.

I made a character long time ago, she was supposed to be a popular singer with an entourage of backup singers, who also doubled as her servants and of course rumored to also be her lovers. She can be the gender-less (I shall dub it g- to make it easier), and her servants can be the g+ (you’re a smart child, figure it out).

oh wow, I can already imagine the society that emerges from this arrangement.

The g+ will be treated like rats and stereotyped to be sex-crazed animals, controlled by their urges, while the g- are the high class, society approved cool cats. Their apparel will be mostly decorative, but sparse. They probably value jewels more, including piercings and perhaps body art as well. Not tatoos, but something similar to henna, but more temporary, and more comfortable than paint. 

In fact, lets do this, the g+ have very durable bodies, and the g- will be armed to the nines. Teeth claws and heightened senses.

Abuse towards g+ is common and forgettable, the reverse is a crime punishable by only death. The earliest societies operated like a lion’s pride, with the g- leading a group of (often pregnant) g+.

The g- have actually been evolved down because of years of laziness and lack of threats and more comforts. Unlike the human species, they have been around much longer on their own planet. They did evolve intellectually, but have done so at an odd pace.

The g+ used to be the original inventors and creators, spending so much time trying to stay alive through litter-birth. But as the years went on the g- have been improving on these basic structures and ideas. Like using bricks to build a castle.

As years went on the g- began to warm up to the idea of merging prides, and having more than one g- as the ‘highness’. As opposed to before, when g- fought to the death to claim another highness’s entire pride.

I should clear up a small detail, while the (I’ll call it this for simplicity) g species were mainly herbivores, g- hunted solo for bigger game to feed themselves and almost never needed sleep. There are instances of cannibalism, but it’s treated like a rude gesture than a full on crime. G+ are known to be especially delicious when it’s simulated to it’s limit at the time of it’s death.

the g- have a specific gland that helps ‘activate’ the g+ genitalia, including heightening it’s sensory touch and gives the g+ a sense of high.

It is during the human equivalent of the middle ages, the g species changed the way their society worked. The ruling class and the working class was separated. And the g- were taken from all the litters. During this time the population of the g species took a huge hit, because of the separation of the g- and g+, but no one cared because their numbers were quite large.

Perhaps a century of this falling and separation before one ‘pride’ or more accurately a kingdom, took up traveling, and spread history and knowledge, attempting to seal the gap between g- and g+. But the highness was killed along with their strongest g- supporters.

This led to a new dark age, where killing and cannibalism (g- be >:c   ---> the g+) was done freely for a little under a year, before peace was finally achieved when the g+ gave up on their rights, and settled with procreating instead. It was from here that the stereotype emerged, and the population went up again. The g species slowly recovered and got a boost in innovation. How complex their technology is compared to our own... is well... a little above (not by much). But the population is booming like crazy.

Crime is prevalent, mostly between g+, while g- are quickly pushed up social ladders whenever they’re noticed.

Gangs and syndicates run everything.

Actually plan on making her chubbier. Maybe redesigning the breasts... it’s easier if things are airborne. Now whether it comes out of the breasts or out of her skin, like sweat... hm... the real question is if g+ gives birth, why would a g- need breasts? In other renditions that I made of her, Velei (We-lie) has no breasts, and is in fact flat chested. But I like the chest, so perhaps instead of breasts she just has a large swell in the chest, and a bit of a stomach sticking out. Along with thunder thighs and small amounts of flab on her arms.

She’ll still be attractive looking I bet. She’s got wings and a fluffy fat tail after all.

She is made fun of because she cannot fly, and compared to her race, she is quite heavy. Really heavy.