#i’ll just…stare at this forever
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I’m absolutely losing my mind over how beautifully @madbalalaika brought Florence and Beckett to life in this piece. The tension, their expressions, the sheer chaotic energy — it’s everything I dreamed of and more.
This incredible art is based on a moment in Chapter 8 of Until the Legs Have Swung (aka my magnum opus, my pride and joy). If you love angst, questionable morals and a dash of sexual tension, you’re in for a ride.
@madbalalaika, you’re a genius. Thank you for making this masterpiece <3
#utlhs#eeeeeeeee#i’m so normal about them#i’ll just…stare at this forever#cutler beckett x ofc#cutler beckett#potc#pirates of the caribbean#potc fanart#potc oc#potc fanfiction
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Altar
#vivectober#vivec#tes#morrowind#vehk#inktober#i had too much fun haven’t done perspective in forever it feels like#I may have overworked it a bit not sure#I’ll be able to look at it and tell a month from now just not now cause I’ve been staring at it working#TruthiLiar’s art
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The eepiest of boys
#he just woke up#godzilla#gojira#kaiju#fanart#art#monsterverse#Gareth depicted him as an old samurai#that’s the only depiction I’ll take of him (in the mv ofc)#the missile is eepy#Mothra’s the pov she’s staring at her man#cannot take her eyes off him#I’m just gonna draw him like this forever
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So… I got and new phone liketwo days ago, and… and I- I did something… I think it may be the greatest thing I’ve ever done.
And I need to show everyone this because it makes me so happy, and I think it will make other people happy too.
(This was so much fun)
#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#i love luci#tumblr sexyman#apple daddy#duck lord#short king#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#homescreens#it took forever to make#but it was WELL worth it#it makes me so happy#like I don’t think I need to do anything else ever again#I’ve peaked#I’ll just stare at my home screen until I rot#it’s what Lucifer deserves#let’s be honest#so many ducks
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o dear soul / flesh and bone
love alone / is your home
#ffxiv#oc: emile jenidaut#estinien varlineau#emile/estinien#can we just ummm can i AAAAAAAA#i literally need to lay on the floor about it#THE WINGS!!!#the way the light hits them !!!!!!#so ethereal and exactly what i envisioned#ty azia for finding them and holding my hand through it <3#just needed a lil magic. a lil whimsy if you will#if you need me i’ll be staring at these forever :’)
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pleeeease im begging weeping pleading on main for memes to distract me from the lame-o news I’ve been saddled with today ;__;
#also today a woman asked me if I’m one of those “gender creeps” so I’ll never be shaving again#because uh 1 rude and 2 um yeah I /am/ a gender freak what about it ladyyy anyway she wasn’t the bad news but it did add a#yuck taste to my yummers mood and now I don’t want to focus on things I should and wanna be distracted for forever by memes#until the cows come home or until I become cool enough to buy a cow and bring it home or whatever#yeah that’s all sometimes it’s frustrating when older folks just say weirdly ballsy things#as if they didn’t spend their days beating children for not eating veggies and staring at people for too long like go off I guess brenda#aaaaanyway please send me memes and I’ll do them all right now I sweeeeaaaar to Maeve or whoever
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#I JUST GOT THE CUTIES MOST AMAZING JOBIE AND BARRY COMM IN THE WORLD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i can’t stop staring at it#it’s gonna get posted later tho so i’ll ofc rb and show y’all then but#it’s so good….#genuinely gettin a lil jobie comm will always make life worth living#i love it so much….. it’s so beautiful………. thank you eddy forever and ever#jitter bugs u
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Boots crunched in hay, and then he was knee to knee before her.
Aedion.
There was nothing kind on his face. No pity or warmth.
For a long minute, they only stared at each other.
Then the prince growled softly, "Your plan was bullshit."
She said nothing, and couldn't stop her shoulders from curving inward.
"Your plan was bullshit," he breathed, his eyes sparking. "How could you ever be her, wear her skin, and think to get away with it? How could you ever think you'd get around the fact that our armies are counting on you to burn the enemy to ashes, and all you can do is run away and emerge as some beast instead?"
"You don't get to pin this retreat on me," she rasped. The first words she'd spoken in days and days.
"You agreed to let Aelin go to her death, and leave us here to be slashed to bloody ribbons. You two told no one of this plan, told none of us who might have explained the realities of this war, and that we would need a gods-damned Fire-Bringer and not an untrained, useless shape-shifter against Morath."
Blow after blow, the words landed upon her weary heart. "We—"
"If you were so willing to let Aelin die, then you should have let her do it after she incinerated Erawan's hordes!"
"It would not have stopped Maeve from capturing her."
"If you'd told us, we might have planned differently, acted differently, and we would not be here, damn you!"
She stared at the muddy hay. "Throw me out of your army, then."
"You ruined everything." His words were colder than the wind outside. "You, and her."
Lysandra closed her eyes.
Hay rustled, and she knew he'd risen to his feet, knew it as his words speared from above her bowed head. "Get out of my tent."
She wasn't certain she could move enough to obey, though she wished to. Needed to. Fight back. She should fight back. Rage at him as he lashed at her, needing an outlet for his fear and despair.
Lysandra opened her eyes, peering up at him. At the rage on his face, the hatred She managed to stand, her body bleating in pain. Managed to look him in the eye, even as Aedion said again with quiet cold, "Get out."
Barefoot in the snow, naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs, as if realizing it. And not caring.
So Lysandra nodded, clutching Ansel's cloak tighter, and strode into the frigid night.
"Where is she?" Ren asked, a mug of what smelled like watery soup in one hand, a chunk of bread in the other. The lord scanned the tent as if he would find her under the cot, the hay.
Aedion stared at the precious few logs burning in the brazier, and said nothing.
"What have you done?" Ren breathed.
Everything was about to end. Had been doomed since Maeve had stolen Aelin. Since his queen and the shifter had struck their agreement.
So it didn't matter, what he'd said. He hadn't cared if it wasn't fair, wasn't true.
Didn't care if he was so tired he couldn't muster shame at his pinning on her the blame for the sure defeat they'd face in a matter of days before Perranth's walls.
He wished she'd smacked him, had screamed at him. But she had let him rage. And had walked out into the snow, barefoot.
He'd promised to save Terrasen, to hold the lines. Had done so for years. And yet this test against Morath, when it had counted ... he had failed.
He’d muster the strength to fight again. To rally his men. He just ... he needed to sleep.
Aedion didn't notice when Ren left, undoubtedly in search of the shifter with who he was so damned enamored.
He should summon his Bane commanders. See how they thought to manage this disaster.
But he couldn't. Could do nothing but stare into that fire as the long night passed.
#Chapter 34#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aedion Ashryver#Lysandra Ennar#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#more tags more spoilers below and above warned#the magic thread - if only there was Aelin - the fire - what the sky shows - he had failed - retreat and live fight and die - to Perranth#the sound of shields is giving infinity war vibes and while I try to stay a little optimistic even I must admit things are getting sticky#the Crown Prince splattered with blood both red and black. — Manorian I’ll bleed whatever color you tell me to lol — the Thealis reference#Ashryver eyes dim — okay that one hurt — I will follow you cousin however this may end but we cannot keep this up not — to whatever end#Where is the Queen? Where is her Fire? but if the Firebringer fought without flame they would know — She has run away. AGAIN.#asking why Aelin of the Wildfire did not burn away their enemies Did not at least give them light by which to fight. Ok but I luv Wyvern Lys#Two Silent Assassins noticed on the second night that the dead soldier still lay on Lysandra's back. — a line that broke me#They treated her with kindness nonetheless. No one made to reach for the lone horse — Aedion should’ve been there should’ve been kind to her#Even the Queen of the Wastes was pale her wine-red hair plastered to her head beneath the dirt and blood. —no ur plan was bullshit#he’s not speak to her it’s him to him-You don't get to pin this retreat on me she rasped. The first words she'd spoken in days and days.#She wasn't certain she could move enough to obey though she wished to. Needed to. Fight back. Rage at him as he lashed at her. but she knew#he knew it and he’s wishing she’d punish him for it but she didn’t#Barefoot in the snow naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs as if realizing it. And not caring.#So Lysandra nodded clutching Ansel's cloak tighter and strode into the frigid night. — this chapter hurt me — I’m with Ren WHERE IS SHE#Aedion stared at the precious few logs burning in the brazier and said nothing… well not nothing & braziers double haunts me forever#Everything was about to end. Had been doomed since Maeve had stolen Aelin. Since his queen and the shifter had struck their agreement.#So it didn't matter what he'd said. He hadn't cared if it wasn't fair wasn't true… mmm no those words mattered they were awful#why must we repeat HoF mistakes per ship#He wished she'd smacked him had screamed at him But she had let him rage. And had walked out into the snow barefoot#soon — they will come soon — they ghost leopard dis not falter — the Crochans and Rolfe and ugh so many people just need to show up soon
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I wholeheartedly believe gym is one of the classes Eddie had to retake term after term and year after year. And every year, he’s convinced this is going to be the year he’s actually going to scrape by and at the very least not have to take gym again, even if he is stuck coming back for another year
And the thing is, he could fully pass gym if he just showed up and changed and participated and he knows that, but the whole thing feels like torture
So every year it starts off as just I’ll just smoke one cigarette and go to class late and then it’ll be less to endure. And then he’s dreading it and as slow as possible and then oops he’s already missed this much, may as well just skip the rest. It’s not like missing one class is going to fail him. And then it’s fine I missed last time so I’ll go, but I’m not changing and I’m just sitting on the bleachers
And then it’s that he showed up late and fully planned on changing and at least pretending to participate, but turning right back around and leaving after getting two steps in and finding out they’re doing basketball and the douchebags on the team are clearly way too into it and nope, not happening. And they’re probably going to be doing it all week, so he’s just going to miss the week and then he’ll come back next week and see what they’re doing then and he’ll actually change and look like he’s trying and everything will be fine
And then he shows up after a week off and changes and vaguely walks around during dodgeball enough to look like he’s trying and okay the jock assholes hit him with like 20 balls and definitely were aiming for the head and he’s pissed off, but at least every time they decide to all aim for him at the same time, at least he gets to sit on the sidelines for a wild. But then at the end of class, he still gets pulled aside and warned that he’s already failing and if he wants to stand any chance at passing this time, he needs to start showing up on time and changing and actually trying every day. And he’s pissed but he still convinced himself he’s going to show up and endure it to get through, but then the next day guess who’s smoking in the bathroom for the first ten minutes of class. And he figures they’re playing dodgeball all week and he’s already going to be in shit for being late so he may as well just skip for the day and have one less day of the assholes ganging up on him. One more day isn’t going to be the deciding factor on if he’ll fail or not. And then one day becomes two becomes three becomes the rest of the week. And when he goes back late the next week, he finds out just how low his mark is. And soon it’s well if I’m failing again this year anyway, there’s no way I’m going and sitting through a single class more. I’ll just try again next semester and then I’ll actually show up and do enough to make it through
Steve is unbearable when he finds out that gym is one of the classes he’s still left dragging himself through again. He’s not trying to be an asshole, but gym is the one class he didn’t just barely scrape by in. And sure, gym was easy for him and the one class he actually enjoyed, but that’s not the only reason he’s so incredulous about this information. He’s like “How do you fail gym? Don’t do you just have a o show up to pass?
And that’s mostly true, but Eddie has absolutely zero patience to listen to it or justify how he keeps screwing it up every time while he’s just hoping he’s forced himself to show up enough times for gym not to be the one thing that prevents him from graduating after taking it over semester after semester for three years straight
#Eddie in the school bathroom staring down his reflection every day: Just suck it up. it’s just an hour. Just actually go so we can be done#with it forever#And then he ends up deciding nah I’ll go tomorrow and lighting a joint anyway#After a month without a single appearance Eddie’s classmates forget he’s even supposed to be in their class#I’m working on the next chapter of Held Back and I have a lot of thoughts#Eddie Munson#Steve Harrington#Stranger Things#ST4#ST#Mine
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Bad day. Horrible awful terrible bad day
#there’s not even a reason. nothing bad has actually happened#it just FUCKING SUCKS#I want to walk into a lake and never come back#I want to take my brain out of my skull and throw it at a wall and watch it splatter#I know today sucks because I’m so tense and upset that my back HURTS so fucking bad#cuz when this happens I tense up and my back muscles decide to coil around my spine and squeeze like a starving snake#it’s spreading through my shoulders and even to my chest which is a first#I just 😭😭😭 I want to go home except home also sucks cuz roommate#and I know he’ll be out in a few days but that feels like forever#and I’m so tired and I’m so upset and I want to curl up in a ball and cry and hide from the world#but I’m working a 7 day stretch at my job#and I have to transfer the power and internet to my name sometime before Wednesday#and I’m so sick of takeout the idea of eating it makes me want to vomit but I can’t physically bring myself to cook while they’re there#and I just. ugh. UGH#I’m so sick of existing#why does my life only allow me small handfuls of months at a time#where I’m not living in some form of disaster and stressed to all hell and back and just wanting to lay down and die#what did I do so wrong. what have I done to deserve all this shit#in my short terrible miserable fucking life#whatever I’ll just go home and stare at the wall#and then go to bed and come to work and come to work and come to work there’s always going to work#I’m going to fucking scream I hate my brain#why can’t it just regulate itself in a normal way cuz that’s the thing I know I’m being insane and nothing is actually this bad#but man if it doesn’t fucking feel that way#and being aware I’m being batshit really doesn’t make it better actually I think it makes it worse#kaz rambles
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good evening 👁️👁️
#i gotta bake cookies for my family and coworkers once i get home but honestly i’m excited!!#i love pfeuffernusse (?) cookies bc it’s like gingerbread cookies but x10#i’m just also staring at the kaiya inbox call and my own inbox rn like pls pls i wanna write so bad 😭#and i know myself — i’m about to take forever with these cookies bc i get distracted so easily :’ ))#anyway i hope the day has been kind to y’all!! i’ll be here when i can 💜#get ready to ramble | ooc
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the isosceles that Saturninus grabbed (he doesn't know what's coming)
Helping My Apostle With Spreading The Gospel 😂😂 (SOCIAL EXPERIMENT) (GONE WRONG) (GONE VIOLENT) (WHAT WERE THEY THINKING⁉️)
#HRRRNGG….ARTWORK FOR ME THANK U SO MUCH….#I’m gonna eat it….but the printer is too loud.#I’ll just resign to staring at it forever#again thank you so much I can never say it enough#isosceles watch out. oh god he’s got AirPods he can’t hear us.
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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Idk why I thought the new year would suddenly bring immense change to me as a person, it was such a childish belief, I can’t believe I let myself fall for it. The years go by but I remain the messed up anxious wreck who starts crying the second she’s left alone with her thoughts. The new year won’t change anything, nothing will
#just look at me#I could very possibly graduate from school in half a year and I still don’t know what I want to do with my life#I can’t take the slightest bit of criticism or else I’ll feel like shit for a week#I need to be staring at a screen at all hours of the day because if I don’t distract myself I will break down#I’m so obsessed with pleasing people that when I can’t fulfill the simplest of requests I want to die#indulging in hobbies. things that are supposed to be enjoyable. feels like hell for me#through all my years of creating there is only one piece I can honestly say I like and am proud of#and I haven’t even touched writing since because I’m scared of not being able to reach that high again#art comes a little easier but I’m only capable of one or two pieces a month#I don’t have anyone irl whom I trust. I’m so lonely that I literally have imaginary friends. at 17#and I still haven’t figured out my gender or what pronouns I prefer. I don’t even like the name I picked for myself#I could go on forever#I don’t know how anyone puts up with me. I know I wouldn’t if I had the choice#I keep going on and on about how I want to get better. I don’t want to be so miserable all the time#but I just don’t know how#I try to be kinder with myself and I’ve been pretty successful at it but.. it doesn’t help#I can be soft and gentle all I want. it won’t make everything else go away#so there’s nothing left for me to do but cry all alone in my apartment at 2 a.m#I guess
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Off of work now it’s school time
#my eyes feel dry#wasn’t busy at all but I was losing my mind because of it#I have realized it’s not that I can’t handle kids it’s that I can’t talk to people#give me a task I’ll do it and stay on it forever#ask me to conversate and I’ll just stare that’s not a skill I have sorry
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I’m literally never recovering
#I had to stare at my phone for 30 seconds before I started bawling my eyes out#the worst part is I was fully expecting this#I just don’t think I could’ve ever been prepared enough for how painful this was#hey at least we might get some evan and barty dreams!#I think seeing regulus grieving barty is gonna hurt even more I’m not sure I’m ready#i’m devastated#i’ll miss him forever#crimson rivers#crimson rivers chapter 66#zeppazariel#marauders#barty crouch jr#regulus black#fic: crimson rivers#captain-cheeseboi
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