#i wrote this without my glasses on so if it makes no sense do say

[doomedtokill]

um. evanreg. i need to know more im afraid. i havent heard a single thing about them ever and im already obsessed

hey rem:)

evanreg is just evan and regulus learning together how the world can be kind to them, they both were hurting so much and leaving their families at similar times created this bond where they understand each other to a scary level. they are this reserved couple you wouldn't assume are dating as they are still very scared of outside judgement. sometimes their love for each other is suffocating but they both are too say anything as the fear of losing each other is worse. its not codependent to the point of never seen without each other but they just enjoy each others company too much they wont change, they both live separate lives and they are very happy to finally not be controlled every step of the way.

i like to imagine evan doesn't like to stay in a job for too long as he cannot settle, constantly searching for something he can't find as the only thing he knows he enjoy is music and weed which doesn't pay the bills. regulus is in some cooperate job actually using his degree and is enjoying it. feel like in a modern au it would be compute science or business. they live in the city in this skyrise with beautiful views all refurbished but very cosy, they take pride on their space as its finally theirs

i could go on for ages

[ruruvxz]

“Snowed In”

Idol!Huh Yunjin x Fem!Reader

↳ synopsis: Two girls with similar initials, cross paths at a packed grocery mart, both of you confined inside by the snow. Her soft red hair and her thick black glasses instantly catch your attention, if you didn't know any better you'd think she was a celebrity. Though a celebrity wouldn't steal your umbrella…

↳cw: dense reader, use of language, reader is really stupid like extremely, korean name is yujin for plot purposes, fluff

↳word count: 2.7k

a/n: I originally wrote this back in 2023 I posted this on Wattpad and it did not do numbers, but besides that I really enjoy writing about her since I feel like she’s soft??? Idk if that makes sense or if I’m yapping but enjoy (also this is heavily based on nana where both nana and hachi both have the same first name… sorry yall ur Korean name is now Yujin)

“Shit! This snow really got my ass packed in!” You groan in annoyance, how did you even manage to get stuck in a snowstorm, let alone get stuck in “EMART” of all places. Besides being stuck in this tight packed store you couldn’t help letting your eyes drift to the pretty girl next to you. To your horror it seemed like she understood your whining and was now chuckling at your anguish. Adding salt into your wounds, she happened to be holding your umbrella without a care in the world. You couldn’t just let that slide, of course you hated confrontation, but you couldn’t just let this woman take your property.

“Sorry to disturb you…" You spoke up turning your body fully towards the ginger-haired woman, whilst puffing up your chest to seem more intimidating. This certainly got the odd looking woman's attention, as she had now put all of her focus onto you. Lifting what was her attention on the window to stare deep into your ferocious gaze.

A little curious to what you had to say next she tilted her head curiously, strands of hair drooping onto her face while stopping at the bridge of her nose. "Me?" She questioned, pointing her index finger to the left side of her cheek. You stood in front of her, taking in her features, she was undoubtedly quite stunning. Her mole resting on the left side of her nose, her soft red hair, her pink lips, everything about her was breathtaking. Honestly, she looked stunning enough to be a model, or an idol, any of which she’d probably excel in.

Envisioning her as an idol, her face seems recognizable in a sense, like you’ve probably seen her somewhere in the media, or in those performances your roommate watches. Squinting your eyes at her face, trying to place a finger on why she looked so familiar, you cut yourself off with a cough. "Ahem." Snapping yourself out of your daze, you locked eyes on the umbrella then back at her.

"That umbrella, it’s— it’s mine." You spoke up, your voice a bit timid, but her laugh quickly caught you off guard. ‘Why the hell was she laughing, did she think I wouldn’t have caught her?’ You wondered to yourself, whatever this woman was laughing at you reached out your palm out, indicating for her to return it back to its rightful owner. She just stood there, red hair falling on her face still laughing. You heard her cough and fix her composure before being able to speak.

"Are you sure?" She cackled before continuing "I didn't know the umbrella with ‘Huh Yunjin’ engraved on the handle was yours." She began to bust out even more after saying this, you stood rooted in your place in embarrassment, shocked as you thought—no you knew that this "Cony the bunny" umbrella was yours.

You shook your head in disbelief before turning your full attention towards her "No— it's mine, this was an exclusive Line Friends item!" You argued trying to convince the red-head that this belonged to you, though the girl seemed to be indifferent. She too, looked adamant that this umbrella belonged to her.

“Look… if it were to be yours, it would've had your name on it. You're pretty, but you've got some temper." She giggled, not knowing what you'd do next. Though through the heat of the moment, you yanked it out of her hands and read the name on their handle.

"Aha! Look, it says Yujin L/N, not Yunjin, Yujin is my Korean name!" You pointed at the engraving, there in deep letters wrote, "Yujin L/N,". The redhead stared down at you for a good 30 seconds before her cheeks turned red, expecting her to walk away in embarrassment she just laughed placing her hands over yours as you gripped the umbrella.

“Hahahaha! God, I'm sorry— we just had similar names, I thought that this was mine!" She laughed once more, finally loosening up when you realized how contagious her laughter was. The way she spoke, it felt like she had no ill intentions with your umbrella. And before you knew it, you found yourself laughing with her, her hands intertwining with yours as you laughed together.

After the both of you laughed off that whole ordeal, you decided to go on an adventure to find her missing umbrella around this cramped convenience store. Luckily enough, it sat on an empty table near a window, and to your surprise, it was the same Cony umbrella, this time with 'Huh Yunjin' engraved on it.

Even if you didn’t know you've been subconsciously talking to her for what seemed like minutes (which was actually hours) as she was great company, not noticing the sun setting from the snow. Even if the world had snowed you into this tightly packed store, you didn't regret it one bit. As much as you hated to admit it, this was time well spent with the girl you’ve come to know as Yunjin. As was such a good sport about everything that had occurred today, and to be honest she was a great speaker, with such an interesting way of words, she could honestly be a public figure.

Though you found it a little odd that she avoided any conversation about what she does for a living, she brought amazing stories about places she's been that intrigued you. Like how she was born in Gangnam, but was raised in New York, so most of her early life was in the states. She talked about how she was in theatre, her passion for writing, and how she occasionally liked to dance. She talked more than you could, making it a little hard to process all this new information about a girl you just met but you didn't seem to mind, since, truth be told, you couldn't take your eyes off of her.

As she continued you watched the snow die down, and the workers rushed to clear the snow off the entryway. Yunjin couldn't help but notice it too, as she watched your gaze break from hers, her words began to die down finally stopping her story about some friend, whilst ending it with a sigh.

"I guess this is where we part ways." She mumbled staring at you, expecting you to not react,

"Hm?" You answered, confused as to why she looked so disappointed.

"I mean— at least you can go home right?" You added with a chuckle, your hands assisting you in getting up from your seat. "C'mon, you can't expect to stay here forever!" You joked, trying to lift Yunjin's spirits.

"You're right! It's just I haven't talked to anyone like this without the expectation of them wanting anything from me." She spoke her voice a little sorrowful, you watched as she sluggishly picked her umbrella and her beanie from the table. You studied her movements carefully. Yunjin pulled the beanie on her head, wrapped one of those surgical masks tightly around her mouth, and put the thick sunglasses around her eyes. You looked quite shocked, was she really worried about being cold, it looked like she was trying to hide from the weather.

"Yunjin... what are you doing?" You laughed, walking over to her, she looked at you confused. "If you dress like that, people will think you're some government spy."

She stood there defensively, "What do you mean?!" She scoffed, not expecting to be put on the spot like that.

"Yunjin if I didn’t know any better I would’ve probably mistaken you as some sort of celebrity— or robber… here look." You answered, you pulled her beanie off then swiftly taking off your claw clip, you bunched up her hair, and clipped your claw clip to form a messy version of a French Twist. You took off your scarf wrapped it around her neck neatly, and insisted she keep it.

"There, now you look like someone who's just got good style."

"Oh- wow! Are you saying I didn't have good style" she pouted under her mask. You nodded your head no and proceeded to laugh.

"Just saying you looked like someone trying to catch the wrong attention, and you don't want people taking pictures of you, do you? Besides you kind of look like those celebrities trying to hide their identity!” You laughed once again, covering your chuckle with your hand.

"And what if I was?" She asked, her playful tone completely changing.

"That would be so pretty fucking cool." You responded nonchalantly, not expecting anything more from that.

"Hey hypothetically, would you still be friends with someone famous?" Yunjin asked apprehensively.

"Why wouldn't I be? Not like it's affecting me. Also, are you asking if we're friends? Or if I would be cool BEING friends." you asked, completely ignoring the famous part.

"Oh! Uh, aren’t we already friends?" She asked, tilting her head a bit in confusion.

"No." You responded in a cold sarcastic tone.

"Ugh! And all that heartfelt talk for nothing!" She joked, letting out a little laugh before hugging you. You laughed with her as you both finally decided it was time to scurry back home. Before saying your goodbyes, she asked if you wanted her to drop you home. Yunjin didn’t want to admit to herself that she wanted to stay by your side a little longer. You agreed, not wanting to walk alone in the dark, she smiled happily but what you didn’t see was her mentally congratulating herself for scoring a few more minutes with you.

To Yunjin’s dismay though, it didn't take quite long to arrive at your destination, the supermarket was never really a long distance from the house you shared with some college roommates. It only took a few turns until you saw your quite home peeking out.

"This is my stop. Thanks for dropping me!" You spoke, standing right in front of the driveway. You hugged her goodbye before walking to the doorstep, inserting your keys the redhead stopped you.

"Hey! Wait! Y/N—" She spoke.

"Yeah?" Turning around back at her, your key already inserted in the lock.

"You... aren't seeing anyone right?"

"Nope, if I was I wouldn't be going to supermarkets alone, and making friends with people who steal my umbrella."

She chuckled loudly, getting the unwanted attention of your fellow nosy roommates. You watched as their heads peeked out the window. It was a surprise for you to make new friends, and it was even more surprising that you were bringing anyone home. "Funny. Haha." Yunjin spoke, full of sarcasm.

"You have Kakao Talk right? Give it to me, I'll add you Yunjin."

"Alright." She walked over to you and handed you her phone, you added her using the QR feature.

"Anyways, was that all you wanted to say?"

"Yeah— actually no."

“Ugh, you're driving me crazy Yunjin, what do you want to say?” You huffed your breath visible with the cold weather, the snow was really getting to your fingertips, it felt as if you were going to freeze to death.

"Well I should hurry up what I’m about to say then, you busy on Saturday?" Yunjin asked, a hint of discomfort in her voice as she feared your rejection.

"Yeah, I have work..."

“Oh." This was exactly what she feared, she sounded let down and turned around ready to walk off before you heard your roommate slam the window open.

"Y/N— You idiot!" Your roommate spat out at you, clearly ready to scold you from the upstairs window. "Yunjin— I mean, Y/N’s friend! She's not busy that day!"

Yunjin looked a little stunned that your roommate was peeking out of the window to scold you. "She isn't?"

"No, she isn't! She got— uhm— laid off! She's not busy she's far from that— she's a bum!" Your roommate lied through her teeth as she was trying so desperately to convince the redhead you weren't busy.

"Wait what? I haven't got laid off!" You rebuked, right before you were cut off once again, this time by Yunjin.

"Perfect! Let's get lunch together! On me."

You pried your eyes off of your nosy roommate and back to Yunjin who stared back at you with a cheerful grin. Your cheeks flushed, as you spoke up, a little flustered by how direct she was."Like a date?"

"Yeah, like that. You're cool, I wanted to get to know you more!"

"Oh!"

"Yeah! So I'll text you the details."

You stood there in shock, trying to process why this gorgeous woman would ask you out on a date. But before you could question her antics she spoke up, snapping out of the trance you were in. "Bye!" She giddily replied as she started walking off, holding her umbrella tightly in her hands.

"Wow! Okay! You're so bold Huh Yunjin!" You screamed out, trying to get her attention as your cheeks burned red, she couldn’t notice it of course.

"Only to the girls I like!" She spoke.

(I’m going insane)

[here2bbtstrash]

sunday (explicit)

genre: straight-up smut baybey, i did it y'all i wrote a pwp again

pairing: seokjin x reader

summary: you got your boyfriend exactly what he wanted for his birthday.

word count: 5k

contains: explicit sexual content~*~ say it with me: BRAT 👏 TAMER 👏 SEOKJIN 👏 established relationship, reader is uhhh 😬 Extremely bratty lmao, jin takes care of that, BDSM dynamics (mention of safewords and hand signals but neither are used!), reader gets spanked with a belt oop 🤭, fingering/a lil bit of eating it from the back, orgasm denial, big dick jin 😏, praise kink, mouth/throat fucking, a bit of breathplay, begging and apologizing, oh yeah she cries... like.... kind of a lot 🥲 there's a dacryphilia moment in there too (~*~add a little spice~*~), unprotected sex but they're in love it's fine, lots of subspace at the end, use of a vibrator, overstimulation, she comes.... idek how many times, and a smidge of aftercare 🫠 also i promise there's no food play, you'll get why the cake's there at the end ok lmao

A/N: a day late and a dollar short but hey that's my mental health rn 🫡 this was fun!!! always nice to dust off the ol' pwp muscles and frankly i've been itching to write proper BDSM for a bit now. sometimes you just wanna get the shit beat out of you lovingly and that's valid and sexy ya know. anyway feel free to silently skip this one if it's not for you!! and i know i'm gonna get a comment on it so 🙄 i used his korean age on purpose lmao 🙄 yes i can count and yes i know their system is changing~ ANYWAY i sincerely hope you enjoy babes and that you all had a lovely seokjin day 🥺 i loooove y'all !!! 💜

thank you to @haliiimede for beta reading and being my soulmate 🥺

read on AO3!

~*~

The slam of the front door tells you that your plan for today has worked perfectly.

Standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, you adjust a final strap on your bralette, then quickly scramble to pull your clothes back on. You attempt to keep your expression innocent as you slip down the hallway to greet your boyfriend.

Before you can even make it, you hear the unmistakable pop of a wine bottle being uncorked, and you enter the kitchen just in time to see Seokjin leaning up against the counter with a glass of white in hand. He doesn’t look particularly pleased to see you.

“Hi baby,” you say, sweet as can be. “Can I have a glass?”

A muscle works in his jaw as he looks you over, and the expression on his face already has a flame licking in the pit of your stomach.

“That's all you have to say?” he finally answers.

You blink up at him, feigning ignorance. Your heartbeat has started to race behind your ribs, sensing imminent danger— the good kind.

“I haven't heard from you all day today,” he tries again.

You shrug. “I was still sleeping when you left this morning, and then, I don't know. I was doing things. Does it matter?” If Seokjin wasn’t already pissed, you know your last question will get him. You turn away to busy yourself with retrieving a wine glass so he can’t see the smile you’re trying to bite back.

The tone of his voice makes you freeze, glass in hand. “I don't recall saying you could have any.”

Your lower lip juts out automatically, and you do your best to steady your breathing without making it apparent. Even your voice comes out a little shaky. “But we always share.”

The silence in the kitchen feels deafening, punctuated by the soft tap of Seokjin setting his glass on the counter. You mirror him, swallowing hard as he steps in to close the distance between you. It never gets any less exciting to have him tower over you, big and broad-shouldered, tall enough that you have to look up through your lashes to meet his gaze. A dull ache starts to pulse between your legs.

“Do you know what today is?”

You lick your lips and try to speak. “Sunday?”

It’s like you barely get the word out before he’s gripping your jaw with one large hand, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat. Anticipation buzzes through your body, all the way down to your toes, as he forces your chin up.

“Anything else?” His voice sounds like a warning.

Your mouth pulls into a grin beneath his grasp, one you can’t quite manage to keep innocent. “Oh, Seokjin, is it your birthday? I knew I was forgetting something. Oops.”

“Fucking brat.”

All at once Seokjin locks an arm around your hips, and you let out a shrill squeak as your feet leave the floor entirely when he outright slings you over his shoulder. This is, of course, exactly what you’d hoped for, but you struggle a little in his grip nonetheless. All part of the fun.

You’d left the bedroom door cracked on your way out to greet him, and he takes the opportunity to kick it back open. A shiver runs up your spine at the sight, and then you hit the bed hard enough to knock the breath out of your lungs.

You push up onto your hands as you sit up, slightly dizzy.

“That hurt, Seokjin,” you whine, but you both know you don’t mean it. You have agreed-upon methods of telling him when he’s really hurting you in a way that doesn’t feel good: safewords, even hand signals for when you’re rendered non-verbal. Anything said that isn’t one of those is just you running your mouth on purpose, winding him up. Like now. “You’re being so dramatic.”

“And you’ve got a fucking attitude today,” he snaps. “Is this really how you want to do this? On my fucking birthday?”

You blink up at him with the same sweet smile. “What if I told you I got you a present?”

This seems to surprise him a little, and he pauses, like he doesn’t quite buy it. “A present, huh?”

“Mm-hmm.” You nod as you get to your feet. “Let me unwrap it for you.”

Taking your time with it, you peel off your sweatshirt and leggings to reveal the lingerie you pulled on as he was coming home. It’s a soft pink set with a floral design, thin straps, and romantic lace, and you happen to think it does wonders for your curves.

“What do you think?”

You can see the hungry gleam in Seokjin's eyes even as he scoffs, feigning disinterest. “Oh, this is my present? A disrespectful brat that I have to teach a lesson? I should rip this shit off.”

“Hey, this was expensive!” you snap, and he arches an eyebrow as if to give you a final chance to behave. It just makes you want to push him that much further.

You step closer, allowing a perfect line of sight to your tits that threaten to spill out of their confinements, and you soften your voice when you speak again. “What, you don’t forgive me, Seokjin?”

The corner of his mouth just barely ticks up. “You know the rules. Forgiveness is earned.”

He reaches a hand down to undo the buckle of his belt, and your nipples are suddenly painfully hard against the lace fabric. You can’t remember the last time he used his belt. Fuck, he’s really mad.

“Bend over.”

You huff a sigh as you drape yourself over the edge of the bed, and his hands are already on your ass. He makes a low noise of appreciation as his fingertips dig into your supple skin, pressing firm enough to make you wince. He's not being gentle, and you don’t want him to be.

Your eyes flutter closed in enjoyment of being manhandled like this, and you get so lost in it that it takes you a second to realize Seokjin has asked you a question. By then it’s already too late.

He gives a warning slap to your ass as he repeats himself. “I said, how old am I?”

You peek over your shoulder, wiggling your ass against the flat of his palm, only for him to smack you hard over your left cheek. You bite back a whimper, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

“I don't know,” you lie, blinking up at him. “You’re so old now, it’s hard to remember.”

In one swift move, he yanks his belt out from around his waist, and you swallow hard as you watch him fold it over in his hands.

“Then why don’t you fucking count for me.”

The belt cracks down over your ass, and you flinch at the first real rush of pain. It takes you a second to regain focus, your brain still buzzing from the hit, and then his words come back to you.

“One.”

“So you are capable of listening, huh?”

Another hit, equally as hard on the other side, and you grit your teeth.

“Two.”

“Aw, where’d that smart mouth go? Not so chatty now?” Seokjin cracks the belt again, and you can barely get the word three out before four is being delivered just as harshly. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to breathe. He's really hitting hard tonight.

“Four,” you gasp, and you hear Seokjin exhale a dark laugh above you.

“Better toughen up, sweetheart. We’ve got a long way to go.” Another hit in the same spot, this one enough to really sting.

“Five.”

“You know, since I'm so old.”

The next blow he delivers is so hard, the word comes out as a cry of pain. “Six!”

You flatten your pelvis down against the sheets, as if in an attempt to hide from the beating, but there’s nowhere to go. The extra pressure makes you feel how hard your clit has started to throb from your punishment. You bury your face in the crook of your elbow, your hips jerking reflexively as you moan through seven, eight, nine.

Every muscle in your body seizes taut as you prepare for ten, trying to encourage yourself to breathe through it, though all you can get out right now are shallow gasps for air. I can take this, you tell yourself, I can take this.

But it doesn’t come. You’re pulled so tight you think you might snap, and you manage to lift your head up from your arms to look back at Seokjin.

“There she is,” he says, and the soft tone of his voice in no way influences how hard he brings the belt down over your ass.

“Ten!” you groan, and the sharp bite of pain over your already raw skin nearly brings tears to your eyes. And he’s not even halfway done.

It’s all you can do now to remember what number you’re on, especially as Seokjin continues to allow torturously long pauses between his hits. He'll wait just long enough that your heartbeat starts to slow, teasing the thin length of the belt up the backs of your thighs, sometimes even with a laugh.

But it’s not relief: the waiting keeps every inch of you on edge, all wound up with anticipation of the next dose of pain, so tense you’re not sure you’re breathing.

You’ve hardly choked out fourteen when you flinch at a brush of contact, the warm touch of skin where you were expecting the crack of leather. Letting your forehead drop against the bed, you pant like you’ve just run a marathon as Seokjin's hand moves over your abused flesh, groping and massaging as he did before. You can’t tell if it’s been minutes or hours since then, but his touch is grounding, calming, even when his fingers sink into your fresh bruises with enough force to make you whimper.

You can feel the way the seam of your panties sticks to your center now, and you can only imagine that they must be entirely soaked through, your slickness already starting to paint the crux of your thighs. With a soft whine of need, you spread your legs a little wider in search of anything but more pain.

“What do you think?” Seokjin's voice is dark when he speaks, thick with lust. The thought of him straining hard against his pants has you practically drooling on the mattress. You want nothing more than that cock stretching you open right now. “Starting to learn your lesson?”

As much as the rational part of you appreciates the check-in, you can’t ignore the new rush of rebellion that surges up at the question. What, does he think you need him to go easy? Does he think you’re not tough enough, that you can’t take everything he’s willing to give you?

You push up to look over your shoulder at him again, your jaw set firm. “No.”

Anger flashes over his face, but he can’t quite hide his smile. “Then I guess I can stop holding back.”

Shit, he was—? You don’t get the opportunity to finish that thought before the loop of his belt is whizzing through the air, and the impact it makes against your ass hits so hard, you momentarily see stars. “Fuck!”

“That's not a fucking number.”

“Fifteen,” you gasp, dropping limp against the bed like a ragdoll, breathless with relief that you didn’t lose track. “Fifteen.”

“The brat can count,” Seokjin remarks, and then he delivers sixteen just as hard and your whole body spasms from the pain as you choke out the number. “If only you knew how old I was, you might have some idea of how much longer I have to beat your ass.”

Your eyes are really starting to well up now, but you force yourself to keep breathing, to focus on his words. It might be coded to fit the scene, but it’s a clear reminder nonetheless: you’re more than halfway. You can do this.

By twenty, the tears have started to spill down your face, but Seokjin knows you well enough to know the scene doesn’t stop unless you call a safeword. He trusts you to know your own limits, and you do. But fuck, he can really test them sometimes. You’re dying for him to touch you, fuck you, do anything but keep fucking beating you. It’s taking everything in you to keep going, your feet kicking helplessly each time he brings the belt down over your tender backside. He hasn’t lightened the weight of his hits up even in the slightest. If anything, they’re only getting worse.

“Twenty-one,” you breathe. You only have ten hits left, and you’ve already gotten through ten hits twice now. You can do this.

“Twenty-two.” You tell yourself not to fight it.

“Twenty-three.” Just give into the pain.

“Twenty-four.” Submit.

Your shoulders heave with sobs as the twenty-fifth strike finally, finally breaks your last resolve. You press your face into the mattress; you’re crying so hard you can scarcely breathe. Even though your body keeps flinching with the reflexive animal reaction to try and get away from the pain, your mind has fully accepted your punishment, all the fight gone out of you.

It’s like someone else is counting for you now, so much so that you don’t even realize what number Seokjin is on until the words leave your mouth.

“Thirty-one.”

You hear the jingle and thud of the belt hitting the floor, and then his gentle hands are encouraging your legs to spread apart. The brush of his fingers over your aching core is sweet, overwhelming relief from the pain still coursing through your system. You’d think it’d be enough to make you cry, if you weren’t already.

“Good girl,” he says softly, and that small praise alone has you floating straight up to the ceiling.

His hands move quickly to pull your panties down and off, and you work to get your breathing back under control, letting your sobs dissolve into sniffling gulps. You whimper when his palms slip under your hips, encouraging you up onto your knees. Your body shivers all over as you try to hold yourself up, to be good, and then you feel Seokjin slip two fingers into your drenched center.

“Oh my god,” you groan as he starts to rub diligently at the ridges of your front wall, his free hand gripping your ass to spread you open. His touch in both places at once, pressing down on fresh swollen bruises and curling up into the sweetest part of you, it’s so good. It reminds you why you willingly give yourself over to this man, the one you love so much, the only one who can make you feel like this. You’re so turned on from the mix of pleasure and pain, you might be close to blacking out.

The bed creaks as he shifts a little, and then he replaces his fingers with his mouth, and you keen. You bury your sounds in the crook of your elbow as his tongue plunges into you, and he snakes a hand between your legs to rub slow circles over your clit. Your mind is reeling; you can barely manage to speak.

“S-Seokjin,” you gasp. “You’re g-gonna, ngh, gonna make me—”

He pulls off just enough to mutter, “You better fucking ask first.”

You swear he ups the intensity on purpose when his mouth returns to your pussy, as if to drag you that much closer to the edge. His thumb is working so perfectly at your clit, you can feel your thighs starting to shake as you writhe back against him. “Can I— can I please come, Seokjin? Pleaseplease, please?”

“No.”

His voice is firm, unbothered, and paired with the painful loss of his touch all at once. A strangled sob of frustration escapes you as you collapse against the bed, exhausted from holding yourself up and from your denied release.

“Not yet,” Seokjin continues. “Not until you’ve learned to be a little more obedient.”

His strong hand closes over your bicep, and he easily flips you over onto your back, causing you to hiss at the graze of your sore flesh against the sheets. Your lower lip trembles, your eyes threatening tears as you stare up at him, but you stay quiet.

“Be a good girl,” Seokjin says, dragging one finger up the column of your throat. You willingly tip your head back for him as a shiver rolls through you. “Let me fuck this smart mouth, then I’ll make you come as many times as you can handle. Okay?”

When you nod softly, he hauls you up to your feet. “Get on your knees.”

You do as he says, sitting back on your heels and watching as he works his pants and boxers down to free his cock. He’s thick and long, flushed dark and dripping hard. Big enough that you go slightly cross-eyed trying to take him in. Your cunt clenches desperately at his size, at how badly you need all of him inside you, bottoming out into you again and again.

But even moreso, you want to be good.

“Mouth open,” Seokjin instructs, and you comply, letting your tongue loll out for him as he tangles a hand in your hair.

He guides himself between your lips, and your eyes roll back at the weight of him on your tongue, the feeling of your jaw stretching open to fit him. He’s so fucking big, it’s uncomfortable, but you do your best to breathe around him and give into it.

Trying to hold still, hands placed sweetly on your thighs because you know he likes it that way, you blink up at Seokjin as he starts to thrust into your mouth. You can taste the salt of his precum as his length drags along your tongue, and you fight back the urge to gag when the tip of his cock nudges into the back wall of your throat. He groans softly as he rubs himself there, his grip on your hair tightening until the pain stings your scalp. Your eyes start to water as you try to keep yourself from choking.

“Fuck,” he hisses when he pulls out, saliva stringing in thick strands from your mouth to the head of his cock. He squeezes at the base of it, eyes glazed dark with lust, and you take in as much air as you can, the cool rush painful where your throat is sore from the stretch of him.

You sit up taller as if to ask for more.

Seokjin’s gaze meets yours as the hand on his cock guides it back toward you, but he doesn’t slip back into your mouth. His eyes are fixated hungrily on your face as he drags the head of his dick down over your bottom lip, teasing it around your mouth and along your cheeks, clearly enjoying that he can do whatever he wants with you.

Your pulse drums loudly in your ears as you sit there, mouth open, and take it. The whole lower half of your face must be slick with spit and precum now, given how easily he glides across your skin, and then you’re hit with the heavy thud of him smacking his cock once, twice, three times against your flat, willing tongue.

“Are you done being a brat now?” he prompts, and you can feel drool spilling down your chin as you nod, his cock still weighing heavy on your outstretched tongue. He slips it in a little further, just past the ring of your lips.

“Gonna be a good girl for me?”

A soft whine escapes around his girth filling your mouth. You nod again, desperate, and then he hits the back of your throat with enough force to make you gag noisily. Your body shudders beneath him, and you try to keep it together.

“Learned your fucking lesson?”

Tears start to sting at the corners of your eyes as he keeps sliding himself into your mouth, the head of his cock dipping down into the tight clutch of your throat, as far as he can go until your nose is flush with his abdomen. You can’t make another sound, your mouth crammed too full, but you do your best to nod even as you lose the ability to keep breathing.

Seokjin’s thumb brushes over the bulge in your throat, and you know what he wants. Tears slip down your cheeks as you squeeze your eyes shut and swallow around him, and he rewards you with an unabashed moan that lights up everything inside you.

“That’s it. You look so good when you cry on my cock,” he rasps, his hand closing over your throat as you swallow again.

You can feel yourself starting to get light headed from lack of oxygen as more tears stream down your face, but the praise spurs you on. You want it too much, it makes you eager to please at any cost, despite the dizzying surge of adrenaline, despite the way your throat is spasming painfully now. You’ll pass out with his cock down your throat, if that’s what it takes.

He pulls out all at once, and the rush of air you heave in is like broken glass against your raw throat. You fall forward, your palms just barely catching you from landing directly onto your face, and you can’t do anything for a moment but breathe in ragged, shaky gasps. Tears are still welling up in your eyes, dripping down onto the carpet beneath you.

Your world tilts as Seokjin easily scoops you up in his arms just to drop you onto the bed, flat on your back. There’s still the dull ache of the bruises he beat into your ass, but it’s like someone’s turned the volume down on it. All your physical sensations seem distant, like they’re happening to someone else, even the dull ache thudding between your legs, a desperate desire to come that was only made worse by being used as your boyfriend’s fucktoy.

Your eyes flutter closed as his hands slip up your body to undo your lacy bralette and peel it off of you, and you don’t fight it.

“Hey, hey. Look at me.” Seokjin's voice pulls you back from the edge, and you fight to open your eyes again. He's hovering over you, fully stripped now, his brow creased slightly with concern. “Stay with me a little bit longer, okay?” His tone is still serious, and you sniff softly as you nod.

He slips a palm encouragingly under your thigh and you do the rest, so out of body that it’s like you weigh nothing at all as you pull your knees up to effectively bend yourself in half for him. He practically growls at the sight of you spread for him so willingly, presenting a cunt swollen with need, painted glossy with arousal.

You watch through heavy-lidded eyes as he kneels up on the bed, and then his thick cock is grinding over you, dragged right up your center. The feeling of finally being touched where you need it most has you exhaling a moan of relief.

“Is this what you want?” Seokjin's breath is hot on your neck and chased by the scrape of his teeth, earning another noise of pleasure from you. Your clit throbs as he rolls the head of his dick over it, up and down, slow teasing.

“Yes,” you manage to gasp. Your voice comes out a little broken from your scraped-up throat. “Yes, please. Please fuck me, please, want it so bad.”

“Which do you want more?”

You’re so gone, choking on whimpers and whines, that his hand closes over your throat to make you focus on the rest of his question. The look on his face is so dark, it sends a shiver down your spine.

“My dick, or my forgiveness?”

Tears spring to your eyes immediately as an overwhelming wave of emotions floods through you. There isn’t a doubt in your mind what your answer is, you don’t even have to pause to consider it. As badly as you want, need him to fuck you, the thought of Seokjin discarding you when he’s finished, still upset, not kissing every inch of your skin, not praising you for being so good… you can’t bear it.

“Your forgiveness,” you sob, doing your best to keep breathing despite his hand around your throat. “Please, please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I just wanna be good, wanna be good for you, I don't need anything else.”

You can see his face soften even through the tears that blur your vision. “There she is,” he murmurs, and then he tips his head down to brush his lips over yours. The warm touch of his mouth is all the reward you could ever ask for, and he sucks sweetly on your bottom lip before pulling back.

“Good answer, babygirl.”

Before you can even process what’s happening, he’s fucking the whole of his thick cock into you, and you can only keen as he stretches you wide enough to fit all of him. Your walls are immediately trembling tight to him from how edged close you’ve been all night.

“Thank you,” you moan, your head dropping back against the pillow. A gasp rips through you as he bottoms out, your spine arching when the crown of his cock presses firmly on your cervix. “Thank you, oh fuck.”

“Yeah,” Seokjin purrs, his mouth against your collarbone. You think he might be sucking a mark into your skin, but it’s already getting hard to tell what’s happening. “You always take it so well after I beat the brat out of you. Let go now, baby. You’ve earned it.”

You’re grateful for the permission, because you’re not sure you could stay tethered any longer if you tried. Not when he’s splitting you open, thrusting hard and deep because he knows you can take it, with a cock fat enough to light up every sweet spot in you at once. Your eyes roll back as you start to float, so out of it that you barely even notice a faint buzzing sound until you realize Seokjin is pressing your vibrator down against your swollen, aching clit.

Fuck, when did he even grab it off the nightstand?

You’re vaguely aware of someone moaning, but it doesn’t even feel like you. You’ve given up entirely to it now, a sweet surrender to this all-encompassing pleasure. It’s so good, too good, it slips you out of your mind and body alike, like he’s fucking your brain right out of your skull.

“That’s it, come on my cock,” Seokjin groans, and fuck, you are, you’re coming hard enough to drench his cock with every pulse of your needy cunt. “Such a good girl.”

He doesn't even pull the toy off to give you a moment of recovery, just keeps it nestled between your folds as he pounds into you. Your hips shudder violently as you coast out of your first climax and straight into another one.

It all starts to blur together now, wave after wave of orgasm washing over you until you’re drowning in it. You come and come and come until it feels like you’re melting into the bed, pinned through by this massive cock and the endless mind-numbing buzz on your clit. You can distantly tell that you’ve soaked a wet spot into the sheets beneath you, that your thighs and even the muscles of your ass are shaking from overstimulation.

“S-S-Seokjin.” It takes you three tries to get his name out, and you’re still not really sure if you said it until the toy switches off. The humming sensation is still reverberating through your body even in the absence of it, enough to make you tremble all over as he picks up the pace.

“Gonna fucking— fill you up,” Seokjin grunts, voice thick with effort, and then his cock twitches at the very back of you, buried deep as it can go, pulsing heavy as he paints you with rope after rope of his release. 

You’re still not here, not really, not when he pulls out with a heavy sigh, when the cum starts to drool down your legs, when he drops onto the mattress beside you and pulls you into him. It comes back to you in pieces: you’re shivering all over, breathing hard, your face is wet— fuck, when were you crying?

It takes you several moments to realize Seokjin is murmuring in your ear, that his fingers are carding through your hair, his breath ghosting over your skin. “Just breathe, baby. Did so well, it’s over now. You’re safe.”

As the post-scene comedown settles into your bones, you bury your face into his shoulder, trying to breathe through the myriad of emotions and chemicals flooding your system. He pulls the blanket up over your chest, and the warmth of it and his body help to gently bring you down from the high.

You don’t know how long you lay like that until you finally manage to squeak out a question. “Y-you’re not really mad, right?”

Seokjin laughs gently as he presses a kiss to your hairline. “No, baby. I know you didn’t really forget. The birthday cake in the fridge kinda gave it away.”

The words take a second to hit you, and then a dazed giggle bubbles up in your chest. It’s like you’re floating as you start to laugh, your face still pressed into Seokjin’s skin, and you can feel the rumble of him laughing too. It didn’t even occur to you that he would’ve seen the fucking cake when he grabbed himself a bottle of wine.

“Oh,” is all you can think to say, and you keep giggling as his lips move over the line of your jaw, trailing kisses.

“You’re cute when you’re trying to get punished,” he says softly. “It's part of why I love you. You’re my perfect little brat. And this was the perfect gift, seriously.”

A warm glow blooms in your chest at the praise, and you sigh happily as you curl up against his side. “Can we eat cake in bed?”

Seokjin leans down to brush his mouth over yours, sweetly adoring. “Anything you want.”

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[menlove]

[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]

answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but

oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao

i don't know (johnny johnny)

this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3

2. paris

this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:

After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”

“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”

okay! also in an interview once he said:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.

(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)

3. if i fell

this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.

4. oh! darling

rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.

like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.

5. the real life demo

this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:

"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."

which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.

6. If Paul Were A Woman-

shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:

"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"

okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:

"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."

just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.

7. stuart!

not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least

8. john's bisexuality

here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao

9. paul's post-beatles work

there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:

we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.

and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:

bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)

which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning

and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.

10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"

this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:

"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."

he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay

SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy

11. in my life/i will

these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:

and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually

12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes

"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.

13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions

some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|

and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.

[uplatterme]

BARBATOS, The First.

MASTERLIST | MORAX | BEELZEBUL

cw: yandere!venti, sub!venti, dom!reader, they/them pronouns, unwanted advances, obsessive behavior, public sex, cock stepping, also a warning for yandere!venti’s overall behavior.

a/n: i had a taglist for this but i lost it LMAO

———

You’ve always noticed how different he acted towards you since the beginning.

The way he sits on your lap playfully, grinding himself without warning and when you ask him what he’s doing, he always pretends to be drunk although you were aware of his schemes.

Or when you’re wearing a skirt and somehow the Monstadt breeze always got stronger, your thighs or more accidentally showing even if you tried to pull it down.

And let’s not forget the time when he intentionally triggered his allergies so you could take care of him while he was “sick”. You didn’t doubt the fact that he was capable of taking care of himself.

You touch the rim of your glass, thinking about him. While it was definitely annoying, it sure did work and got your attention.

“That bard is quite strange, isn’t he?” You asked the bartender in front of you and he takes the empty glass from your hands to give you another fill.

“What’s strange is that he isn’t here chatting your ear off while you drink.” Diluc stated in annoyance. Archon knows how much the bard has actually ended up drunk under the table.

“Perhaps he hasn’t heard that I’ve come back to visit?” You questioned.

“He knows. If he says he doesn’t then he’s obviously lying. That bard knows more than you think.”

“Yet, he’s nowhere to be seen… How peculiar.”

“To think that we have a whole festival offering him flowers and yet he shows such indecent acts says a lot about our city.”

You stop before taking another sip of the alcohol in your hands. “What?”

The redhead stood in awe, realizing he’d made a mistake. “Forget what I said, I thought you knew.”

“Ragnvindr. Are you saying?”

He neither confirmed nor denied it.

You laughed at the new information. It was unbelievable, truly. “But, he’s so tiny? I could cup his face with my palms.”

“Get out. Don’t mention this to anyone.” He ordered.

“Excuse me?”

The next thing you knew, you were outside as Diluc closed earlier from the situation. Well, he was supposed to close earlier but with your pleading he served you a few glasses.

It did make sense, as strange as it sounded. Still, the idea of Venti being the Anemo Archon?

That and the fact that he’s obsessing with you made you want to go home and sleep.

Although, going home was never really an option for a traveler like you.

Should you really pester the Darknight Hero for a room?

You decided against it and went for a midnight stroll instead. There weren’t many hilichurls around due to the Honorary Knight getting rid of them for a quick bag of mora.

The stars were shining as you walked through the land of Mondstadt.

That still didn’t prepare you for the brightness that came along with the Anemo Archon appearing in front of you.

It looked like something out of a drama. A God staring down at a human as he fluttered his wings, creating strong breezes around the two of them.

Fuck. Was this really Venti?

The Anemo Archon presented himself in a form you haven’t seen before. Pure and white wings on his back, with a rather revealing outfit than his usual.

“Well, this is new.” You said.

He tightened his lips as he stared at you like you were his. “I’ve fallen for you, (Name). Why can’t you see that?”

A confession at this hour. One, which you did not appreciate either.

“I’m not looking for anything serious right now, so.” You scratch your head. Alice never wrote a book about rejecting Gods when they confess to you out of nowhere.

Barbatos floated towards you, clasping your hands together. “(Name). You don’t want another city to fall into ruins, do you?”

“Are you threatening me?”

You chuckled. “My, I’ve never thought Barbatos to be such a brat who rattles around if he doesn’t get what he wants.”

His wings quickly fluttered around.

“I’m not!” He yelled. “You don’t get it. Ever since I first saw you, I knew you were different from any other human I’ve met.”

You aggressively pulled him towards you by his braid. “I think you’re the one not understanding, Venti.”

“I’m not accepting a confession from someone who acts like a cheap whore. Surely, you can do better than that.” You scolded and it seemed to be working with how red his face got with each word that you tell him.

…

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

You pulled on his hair again, your faces centimeters away from each other. He presented himself to be intimidating when he came over here and yet all you see right now is a puny little god, one who grit his teeth and trying not to let an unwanted noise come out from his throat even if the white shorts he’s wearing is leaving nothing to the imagination, his cock twitching from your words.

“I’m not—” He fumbled over his words, he knew just how enamored he was but he didn’t expect it to this effect.

“It’s not like that…” The red on his cheeks deepened.

“Do you really need to travel to the other regions? Haven’t I made Monstadt the perfect home for you?!”

You never asked for any of those, you wanted to say.

“I’m even offering myself to you. Isn’t that enough?”

There are tears coming out of his eyes and you couldn’t understand whether these were actually his true feelings or he was trying to guilt you into accepting his confession.

Either way, it was working.

The Archon embraced you tightly, pressing his cock against you and humping your thigh like a desperate bitch needy for attention.

He’s sensitive.

Right, someone like him would have been void of this kind of intimacy.

You waited until Venti was flushing heavy, moans signaling that he was close to cumming on you.

Then, you stopped him.

“Ah—Wait!” He mewled pathetically from the ruined orgasm.

“You don’t do things unless I say so, alright?” You warned him, the whole shtick of grinding against you without permission was getting old.

“Lay on the ground, Barbatos.”

Venti hesitated, unsure of how exactly. Eventually, he rested his back on the ground with his hands crossed together. He stared up at you, opposite of how you two were at the beginning of this whole conversation.

If you told him you were a god born in a human’s body, he would believe it.

His back arched as he felt you step on his groin, your shoe aggressively putting pressure on his already sensitive cock.

“Haah–(Name)-” He breathed out.

His wings moved involuntarily while you continued stepping on him. Venti writhed on the ground, moaning your name repeatedly as if it were the only thing he could remember.

“Don’t close your thighs together.”

“C-cant…’m trying.” He complained.

“Hold them for me.”

Venti puts his hands on his knees, spreading his legs open just for you. His trembling fingers barely even did anything more than when they were on the ground.

“I like this outfit on you, should wear it more often to show off how much of a whore you are to your people.”

He wailed in response, drooling at your words.

“Do you like it, Venti? Do you like it when I degrade you less than dirt?” You asked.

He shook his head, muttering ‘no’ over his whimpering.

You pressed down harder and Venti choked on his breathing, coughing in embarrassment.

“You say that…but my shoe is getting cleaned from how soaked you are. Not to mention, your feathers are all over the place.”

“I’m c-close–(Name), please…want to-”

Venti moaned louder, he wasn’t even holding himself back even if he knew that the two of you were in public, that if anyone were to see how he looked now then they would be able to figure out that their dear Barbatos was the one creaming on the ground.

“Admit it first. Maybe, I’ll consider it.”

“Admit���what?”

You removed your shoe away from his cock and were immediately met with pleading. “No, no. Please, (Name),”

“Yes-yes. I like it when you talk to me that way. I like how you ignore me even if I’m bouncing up and down on your lap at Angel’s Share. I love how you treat me like I don’t mean anything to you.” Venti confessed.

“You’re sweet, Venti. You’re such a good boy for me.”

You placed your foot back on him moving around until he was helplessly sobbing from pleasure, cumming while screaming your name out as loud as he could.

Venti panted, his cock continuing to leak out even after he’s done with his orgasm.

You went on your knees, head still above his.

You caressed his wings which lay flat on the ground. “I like this one.”

“What–Hmpf!” He bit his lip in pain as you plucked out one of his feathers.

“I think I’ll keep it. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No–anything for you, of course.” He quickly answered.

“Then, let’s continue.”

Venti’s hole seemed prepared for you already. Still, you inserted two of your fingers inside him and felt his walls around. “Do you finger yourself, Venti? Do you think of me while you get yourself off?”

“Hh–yes.”

You inserted another finger in for his honesty, touching every part of his insides and avoiding his prostate, no matter if tried to plunge himself deeper for it.

“Close your eyes. Tell me exactly what you think.”

You removed your fingers while you listened to every detail he said out loud. “I imagine you placing me on my back and pounding me from how tired you are of me.”

You followed his directions, placing Venti on his back and pushing yourself in without warning. Venti gasped loudly, stopping his story momentarily until he realized that you weren’t going to move unless he continued.

“You pound me rough and deep, filling me up–as–ah!” He faced the ground, eyes still closed. He wouldn’t dare open them.

“You-you.” He tried to focus while feeling you all inside of him, how warm you are, how you hit his spots and how your hand is pushing his back down.

“You let me scream—hh—as l-loud as I can, how you’d love to parade me around like t-this to everyone, that my mouth could do better than tell tales.”

Venti continued to moan, gripping the grass on the ground and unable to hold himself from the pleasure.

“You say that the only time I should open my mouth is when I use it to please you.” He finished.

You grinned, this bard of yours sure let his imaginations run wild.

“And I bet you liked that, didn’t you?”

“Mhm—So, please don’t go anymore, (Name). You can have me a-all you want.” He said from underneath you.

You enveloped his dick in your hands. pushing him to his limit while his prostate was getting abused by your rough and quick movements.

Venti shivered flat on the ground as he came once more, saying your name over and over again.

“So?” The bard asked.

You entered Angel’s Share, desperately wanting a drink after you had ventured from Dragonspine for a quest. Diluc took a single look at you and grunted.

“Ragnvindr, the usual.”

He eyed your side and tutted his tongue.

“To think I was enjoying not seeing the two of you together and now he looks like he’s attached to your hip.” He elaborated.

Venti hugged your arm, snuggling on it as if it were a pillow. “Oh dear bartender, I think you’d find me attached to more than their hip!”

The redhead looked as if he wanted to throw the bard out right now. “I didn’t need to hear that.”

He tilted his head at you. “I’m putting his debt on your tab.”

“I can’t get rid of him, unfortunately, would cry his eyes out if I do.” You replied.

“(Name)? I’m here, you know!” He waved his hands in front of you and you continued to ignore him.

You hoped to yourself that claiming a god as your partner (of sorts) won’t go anywhere more difficult.

[fanfics-with-coffee]

To be kind, To be a fool

This has only been proofread and edited by a sleep deprived me sooooo, I also wrote it in a daze from 1AM to 6AM. I'm back in my Baldurs Gate 3 hole and I've been so very inspired from so many other fanfic writers I got back on this blog

You did it, you saved the prisoners from Moonrise Towers and everybody is back, safe and sound at least for tonight. You and Astarion are holding back from the festivities, instead talking about your act of heroism and why you do it. You say you choose to be kind for who else will, he says you're choosing to be a fool for what else is kindness if not foolish.

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort Pairing: Astarion x reader Words: 4400

Its doubtful if Last Light Inn had been quite so lively as when you returned in the raggedy old boat with the prisoners from Moonrise Towers. Once they had been cleared, everyone had ran to their loved ones or simply rejoiced in the warmth of the fire, ever burning away the darkness that threatened to creep inside any crevice it could get it's cold claws into. And of course they soothed their dry throats with the little wine and ale that was left behind when the shadow curse had blanketed the land. The two boys manning the bar were running around relentlessly, trying their best to fill every empty goblet and mug they could spot, leaving no one without a drink. It’d probably only be hours before Jaheira had to call it a night so they wouldn’t run out of the little liquid joy they had left. But until then, the celebrations were loud and proud.

For a moment, things were bright, despite the dark sky. 

“What a ruckus, you could almost think that Lathander himself had been in attendance.” Astarion mused, one hand gracefully swirling a glass of wine while the other rested on his upper arm. He was leaning against the wall beside you in a corner of the inn that hadn’t been filled with people. Not that it was difficult, even with the prisoners free it was barely enough to fill the tables and chairs. You smiled, watching the tieflings try to catch up after the devastating nights apart. 

“If Lathander was here, I think there’d be a lot more dancing on tables and a lot more wine.”

“True… And a lot more fucking.” Astarion replied with that signature cheeky smile he always pulls when he’s said something salacious or teasing. You couldn’t help but laugh at his comment, nodding along to his line of thought. He wasn’t wrong. 

“You’re probably right. Well at least we could let these people see another dawn, I think in a sense maybe Lathander really is here.” You pull your eyes from the happy faces and let them reflect in your mug of ale before downing another mouthful of it. The smooth, delicate taste of honey coats your tastebuds and leaves a pleasant warmth in your stomach.

“I didn’t take you for the god honoring type, you know? Besides, these people didn’t need Lathander, they had their own little ray of sunshine coming to their rescue anyways. Our own little goody-two-shoe altruist in shining armor.” He teases you, reminding you that there weren’t any gods in the belly of Moonrise Towers. Yet beneath the lighthearted tone you detected something else, a familiar bitterness and disapproval that he had given you before. That he gave you whenever you did something ‘too nice’, ‘too self sacrificing’ or ‘too cheaply’. You had long ago started ignoring it, instead taking it as a sign you probably did the right thing.

“Mmmh, mayhaps. I mean we were there anyways, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be left there to the Absolutists if I was stuck either.” You give him an answer you know he’ll hate and you made sure to slather some extra kindness in there as well just to really make a point. “And I find enough reward in watching these people.”

Astarion rolls his eyes hard enough you worry they’re gonna get stuck to the back of his head. You watch him, unable to hold in a laugh as he pretends to vomit from how ‘disgustingly sweet’ you are. You don’t say anything for a moment as he lets his eyes roam the room, the soft light of the torches reflecting upon his white locks of hair. You can see the disgust in his eyes as he watches them, and you could only guess as to why he felt so strongly about your acts of kindness. 

“I can’t wait to see the day you realize that none of these people would do the same for you… When someone betrays your kindness and I can stand there and laugh, telling you ‘I told you so’.”

He says it nonchalantly, as if it’s a fact. He let’s his own hatred for the world seep through every syllable yet he hides it behind a face that says he doesn’t care. You expected comments like this to come from him, you expected resistance to helping the helpless. Yet something about his words right now makes your chest tighten in anger, the notion that you were simply too stupid to realize that not everyone was kind. That he was maybe smarter and more experienced than you for seeing the cruelness in the world. You turn sharply to face him, slamming your mug down a little too harshly on a table close by. Astarions eyes meet yours, he never expected you to react like this, you had never before raised your voice at him. The air has grown tense. 

“Astarion, I am kind. I am not a fool, and you should do well to remember that there is a difference.” Your words are sharp yet you’re thankful no one else has seemed to notice you two. “I know that people will hurt me, and betray me. That people will not always do the same as I would’ve done. But if I don’t help, then who will? I have the power to make a change and I’ve chosen to use that power. You don’t have to agree, but you’re not allowed to tell me that I am wrong for deciding to be kind.”

He can see the hurt in your eyes as you correct him. That it’s not a question about your own navïte making you help others, but the fact you put conscious effort into being kind, despite the risk it has. Cold, uncomfortable embarrassment washes over him like ice water. A feeling he despises and so he sets it alight with anger instead, feeling himself burn with it as he finds himself again. His fingers clench around the half empty glass of wine he continues to hold onto. Thoughts swirl around in his head, trying to find the ones that will hurt the most, a painful payback for embarrassing him.

“And pray tell what is the difference? You waste not just your own time helping these idiots, but ours too. We were here to find a cure, yet all we’ve done is listen to sob stories and rescue people who will most likely die on the road to Baldurs Gate anyways. What kind of fool would waste so much energy and time on things that will lead to the exact same result anyways, I believe that’s actually what people call insanity.” He makes himself appear taller as he pushes himself off the wall and stands in front of you, scowling as he meets your gaze. 

How dare you tell him that he’s wrong? After 200 years of cruel torment and nights spent around people who could not give less of a shit about him, you’re telling him there’s people out there that care? And if so then it’s even worse, because that would mean no one simply knew he was in pain. Was Astarions own torment not enough for people to even notice?

No, he knows what he went through. No one cares about others' torment unless there’s something in it for them, even if just so they could feel a little better about themselves and comes at no expense of theirs. It’s always just about ourselves, Astarion just skips the other steps and puts himself first. Why could you just not do the same? Why did you have to go out of your way for anyone else?

“Fine, call me a fool. Insane, även. Say what you want about me, Astarion, but I will always choose to be kind. I’m sorry no one made that choice for you before, I am. B-”

“Do not tell me about kindness, y/n, there is no altruistic kindness like the one you speak of it’s a performance people put on for others.” His words are cold and sharp, they bite into your heart in much the same way his teeth pierce your skin. Painful. “We should all put ourselves first, it’s what everyone wants to do anyways! Skip the damn pleasantries and just be honest about it at the very least. I’m tired of having to look beyond the kindness just to see their true intentions.”

He’s rambling without thinking, remembering all the kind words and touches he’s received just because someone wanted to get in his pants. All the faux acts of kindness he watched Cazador perform so he could get what he wanted, or even just to make sure whatever cruel act he had in mind would hurt even more. All the nights in the beginning where he debated how he could save a victim, just to realize he’d get nothing but pain in return. The kind acts he himself performed in hopes of receiving something kind in return. 

The way he seduced you just to make sure he had safe passage to Baldurs Gate, to a cure. 

You were left speechless, caught off-guard by the outburst of emotions. You knew he was selfish but this was rooted deeper and maybe you should’ve realized when he had finally told you about Cazador and his ‘siblings’. You clenched your hands, trying to find something to refute his points. To prove him wrong. Yet you have nothing of worth to sooth his pain. He sees your hesitations and assumes he’s finally gotten through to you, he’s won. His red eyes leave yours to once again look at the others smiling faces, not wanting you to see the disappointment grow in him as he realizes he was right.

“So you’ve never been kind just to be kind?”

“No. Never.”

He rakes a hand through his hair, letting the motion tilt his head back as he finally raises his glass of wine, downing the rest of it. The sudden action makes the glass flow over the corners of his mouth and the deep red liquid coats his chin and drips down on his chest, staining the white fabric of his shirt. It bleeds into the criss-cross stitching and travels further down before he has time to react. 

You gasp and grab an old handkerchief stuffed in your pocket, quickly moving to try and save his favorite shirt. It's instinctual, thoughtless. Even when you’re mad at him and even though he’s furious at you, you try to help him. As soon as the cloth touches him, shame spreads like a disease through him, regret taking root in his chest somewhere where his beating heart should’ve been. 

He hates it.

“Don’t touch me.” He bites back, snatching the handkerchief from your hand to do the job himself. You instantly step back, putting your hands up to make sure you give him space.

“Tsk, I’m going to bed. Good night, y/n.�� He’s aggressively dabbing at the stain as he starts walking away, trying to soak up as much as possible but it’s clear it's a useless endeavor, it will forever remain stained.

“Astarion!” You call out to him before he gets too far and he stops momentarily, turning to finally look at you. 

He’s met with pity reflecting off of your eyes in the lowly lit room. 

He hates it.

You say something else but suddenly the sounds of the celebrations drown out whatever it was. He doesn’t even try to listen and simply turns around to find the room that he had been given as a thank you from Jaheira. He didn’t need your pity, he didn’t tell you about his past because he wanted your pity, anyone would feel pity for him if he told them what had happened to him. He wanted you to… care. Foolishly, he wanted you to care about him, about what had happened to him. He wanted you to listen to his issues and maybe, just maybe, you’d want to help him like you helped everyone else around you. And maybe you’d do something without asking for anything in return. 

Yet tonight, he reminded himself that no such thing as true kindness existed. And to expect you to care about him despite who he was at his core was foolish itself. Your kindness came at a cost he hadn’t even thought about; You expected him to change in return for your kindness. He was mean, he was selfish and he wouldn’t let you change him for anything.

He turns to close the door to the room he was staying in, the feeling of his shirt clinging to his chest uncomfortable and wet. Astarions eyes find you in the same corner he left you, yet your eyes didn’t meet. Gale and Karlach had come up to you, pulling your attention to them. You had quickly started smiling and laughing again, one hand on Karlachs shoulder in a calming manner. 

Why had he even let himself hope that you would follow after him?

He closed the door.

The hours dragged on, the darkness in the Shadowlands making day and night nearly indistinguishable. The only thing that made time feel real was the ever waning torches, slowly burning out. And while you felt like it must’ve been a fortnight of drinking, laughing and talking, it can’t actually have been more than three hours based on how many torches had already burned out and been replaced. You had been convinced to join Karlach by the grill, Wyll telling stories of his time as the Blade of Frontiers in the soft glow. You listened and laughed, at points discussing the actual validity of these stories. But in the back of your mind, you couldn’t let the thought of Astarion go. He hadn’t left the room he was staying in, all alone in there, perhaps still trying to clean the shirt he always seemed to wear. 

As people finally sated themselves and found their companions, the celebrations died down to  a quiet mumble amongst those unable to sleep. The children had long ago been told to head to bed, only occasionally peeking their heads out from the dorm or coming out to ask for a late night snack. Jaheira herself had taken over the bartending but was now stuck pleasantly talking with some fists that had sat down after their patrol shift. Even most of your companions had headed to bed, either in the dorm or at camp depending on their preference, Astarion had specifically called dibs on the single private room. 

“Well, I think it’s best I call it a night as well!” Karlach stood up and stretched her muscular arms over her head. “You should do the same, soldier, can’t have our tactician getting sloppy!” She smiled at you, expectantly putting her hands on her hips as she waited for you to stand up and walk with her.

“Oh, I think I’m going to stay up just a little more. I’m sorta enjoying the quiet murmur in here, and I haven’t really had the time to speak with Jaheira since we came back.” You lied, trying to give her a convincing smile. But you couldn’t hold her eyes with yours, instead turning your head to watch the door to Astarions room, trying to make it look casual. 

“Riiight… You know, I don’t know what’s going on between you and fangs but I wouldn’t take anything he says to heart. He’s sorta dumber than he wants us to think, so whatever he told you… Eh well, I dunno, I’m not the smartest myself.” She laughs at herself, the alcohol having had an effect on her after quite a few bottles. “But I am the strongest! So if he needs  a good assbeating then I’m here for ya. I know he can say some pretty rude stuff at times even if he doesn’t mean it. What is it people say? Hurt people, hurt people?”

“You’re right Karlach...” You smile at her, she may say that she’s not smart but she knows people better than most. “But it’s fine between me and Astarion, we just had a disagreement but it’s nothing to worry about, I don’t think. Though I know an assbeating wouldn’t help, but I appreciate the offer.”

“Well if you say so, soldier! I’ll see you in the morning then I guess.” She gives you a hard pat on your back before leaving, yawning loudly as she walks towards the dorm room, softly ‘shoo’-ing another tiefling child back into the room.

You spend some time just watching the embers of the firepit burn, feeling the heat hitting your face in waves and drying out your lips. You drink the last of the wine in your cup and lick your lips, standing from the stool to leave the empty cup at the bar. Your eyes find the wooden door again and you spend a long moment debating if it’s a good idea. Facing Astarion right now would be awkward and draining, it would even risk you two blowing up at each other again. Yet you know he was hurt, that much was obvious.

The knock is soft and you’re uncertain if he could even hear it over the sound of the fireplace in the room. You consider that maybe he had gone to bed in the end, it had been hours since you saw him after all. 

“Astarion? Can I come in?” You call out softly, afraid to wake him if he was in trance but wanting to give it at least one more shot before you give up. It takes a moment but suddenly the door opens ever so slightly, just enough to let you know it was open but not enough to see him in the doorway. You take that as a ‘yes’ and carefully push it open further. You hadn’t even heard his footsteps come to the door nor leave, yet when you slip through the crack of the door he’s sitting on the bed. The room is dark, long shadows being cast from the dying fire. The moon lights up his pale skin and even paler hair, reflecting off of him as a glow. His legs are crossed and he’s leaned back on his hands, his chest exposed. He looks as if he’s made of marble, his chest doesn’t even move with breaths as you watch him, a quirk of his vampirism you’ve realized. You make sure to close the door behind you, never turning away. 

Neither of you say anything. There’s a book open  next to him on the bed, it’s the sequel of some book he had picked up early on in your adventure. You had gotten the sequel for him after he expressed his enjoyment for the first one, it had cost you a gold but it was worth it. You stare at it, unwilling to meet his gaze directly. Yet his is firmly placed on you, indifferent and icy.

“Well? Were you just here to get your handkerchief back or did you want something?” He spoke first, raising an eyebrow.

“...Is it as good as the first book?” You ask, finally looking him in the eyes. He furrows his brows before he looks at the book next to him, realizing what you meant.

“It’s decent. I liked the twist in the first book so it has a lot to live up to, but it’s an enjoyable read. But I’m sure you’re not here for some midnight book club so out with it. What do you want?” He’s clearly pushing you away, but the fact that he opened the door when he heard it was you must mean he’s willing to listen.

“I wanted to come see how you were doing. Did you manage to get the stain out of your shirt?”

“I’m fine, thank you. And no, I did not, I will have to try to find someone who knows prestidigitation to get it out, I believe. Now if you excuse me, I’d quite like to get back to my bo-” He’s about to pick his book back up, clearly done with the conversation if you weren’t going to get to any point.

“I also wanted to apologize.” 

He raises an eyebrow and looks at you, giving you his full attention and newfound interest in the conversation.

“I snapped at you, and while I don’t think I was in the wrong for doing that-” He rolls his eyes, making it clear he disagrees with you but he lets you keep talking. “I shouldn’t have made it sound like being kind was an effortless choice and that you always can and should choose. It’s not easy every single time. So I’m sorry.” You try to gauge his reaction, see if he gives you any sort of response. He doesn’t at first, his face difficult to make out in the drastic lighting. The distance between you may only be a couple meters but right now you feel like there's kingdoms between you.

“...You say that yet you make it seem so damn easy. You never question why someone needs help, if it’s their own fault for getting themselves in that situation. You never assume people have any other intentions than what they tell you up front. You’re kind as effortlessly as some breathe.” He spits out the words as if they’re venom, once again speaking as if he believes you’re a fool. “Even to me, you’re kind. You ask me about my wounds, if I like the books I read, if I’m comfortable, where I learned to sew… I thought you were just trying to get in my bed at first, something I’m used to. I’ve given my body to countless ‘kind souls’, but now I’ve realized you just want me to be another victim you saved. Another person you’ve fixed. So you can play hero and get all the love and praise that entails. ‘Hero of Faerûn saves poor vampire spawn! Look at this poor sucker!’” He uses his hands to show off the fake headlines.

“Pun intended.” There's a sarcastic smile on his face as he stands up, grabbing your bloodied and wine stained handkerchief from the bed table before approaching you.

“That’s not why I did those things, Astarion, please. I care about you, just liste-”

“Well jokes on you, your kindness has been wasted on me. I’ve used you for my own gain, you know?” He throws your handkerchief against your chest, forcing you to clutch it so as to not let it fall. “I played with you just as easily as any other poor fool I’d find in Baldurs Gate’s whorehouses. You were ridiculously easy, just a few kind words and charming smiles and you were wrapped around my finger! Not that I blame you, have you seen me? I’m hard to resist. But it’s time to drop the pleasantries, the kindness, you’ve just been a tool for me to find a way to survive and I’ve just been another notch in your belt. But I am not another helpless pawn for you to feel good about ‘fixing’. I am pessimistic, I am selfish, I am merciless and I am cruel, and you won’t ever be able to change that.” He finally finishes his monologue, still forgetting to mimic the act of breathing as he stands before you in eerie silence. There’s a sense of vulnerability within his eyes despite his posture. Like a cornered animal lashing out in a desperate attempt to be left alone, to not be hurt.

You’re standing close to him now, mere decimeters away from each other's bodies. Yours heated and warm and his forever cold to the touch. You move slowly when you finally decide what you want to say, what you need him to realize. His eyes notice your hand raising and he tenses up even further, preparing him for what? He’s not sure. Then your hand reaches his face, softly cupping his cheek with your palm. Your heat exchanges with his, your hand slowly warming his skin while yours cools to the touch. He’s in shock, unable to say or do anything, just watching your face to try and read what your intentions are.

“I’ve tried to tell you, even before you went in here. I will always choose to be kind to you, Astarion, just as you are.”

He finally sucks in air, his lips parting to make sure his lungs fill fully and it’s as if it's his first breath since he died in that alley. That’s what you had tried to tell him before he left. You smile, moving your hand to brush a strand of his hair out of his face, observing his features. The dark, angry and nearly sadistic expression he carried before when he was trying to hurt you has washed away, leaving only the face of a lost young man standing before you. Eyes wide and mouth agape as you fully brushed off all the cruel things he said to you. Could he do nothing to scare you away, force you to back off? Keep you locked out of his heart?

He closes his mouth finally, eyes cast down to the floor as shame once again flowers in his chest, the thorns digging into every nerve.

“Even when I make it a difficult choice?” He asks quietly, shyly.

“Yes, even when it’s a difficult choice. But I don’t find it difficult to care for you Astarion. If you let me… I wouldn’t even find it difficult to love you.” You laugh a little, the question was silly to you after all. 

“You really are a fool.” A smile forms on his lips, the smile lines you’ve always adored finally showing themselves and his eyes as softening. He could never understand you, you’d never make sense to him. No matter how many times he thinks he has you pegged, you always go over and beyond his expectations. And once he thinks you’ve reached your limit on kindness, he finds a little more, even for a monster like him. His hands, which had consistently remained at his sides until now, moved up to find your hips. Astarion pulled you in closer to him, soaking in your heat and digging his head into the crook of your neck. You can’t help but laugh again, loud and happy, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer to you.

“I will always be kind, even if it does make me a fool.”

[xocoluvr]

Under the table

| Johnny Cage x Shy!reader

Word count: 1.2k

CW: 18+, public, smut, fingering, dirty talk, handjob, no use of y/n.

a/n: I wrote this all while listening to reggaeton champagne on repeat! (｡･･｡)

reblogging is very much appreciated! ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ

/ᐠ｡ ｡ᐟ\

After what felt like years of preparing to go against Outworld, you were exhausted and hungry. Just wanting to settle down and relax, you were looking forward to the congratulatory dinner the Outworlders were hosting.

You could see two empty seats as you walked towards the tables, avoiding introducing yourself to intimidating-looking people. You decided to steal one of the empty seats praying it wasn't reserved or already taken.

As you scanned the area you felt watched, as if suddenly everyone's eyes were on you. You felt your senses tingle for some odd reason when out of nowhere you heard your name being yelled.

"Hey!" Johnny said walking towards the empty seat next to you, you felt dread and embarrassment wash over your body wanting nothing else but to disappear as you now actually felt everyone's eyes on you. "Oh my goodness, don't tell me I've been given the fortune to sit beside this beauty?" he said with a cocky smile, he pulled out the chair and sat next to you. His eyes were covered by glasses but you could clearly tell where he was looking by the way his head was slightly tilted towards your chest.

"Hi Johnny," You said softly, still not wanting to attract even more attention to yourself than Johnny had already done. Your thumbs fidgeting in your lap, needing to relax your nerves. He smiled as he wrapped his arm around you, and leaned into your hair for a moment, and spoke softly. "What's wrong?" he said smiling down at your hands, seeing how anxious you were. He chuckled a bit as he moved to put his hand over your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. "There's no reason to be nervous sweetheart."

Seeing his big hand gently resting on your thigh startled you a bit but ignited something in you. A smile spread across his face seeing how you ogled at his hand resting on your thigh under the table, made him want to see more than just that.

Wanting to see how far he could go with this he kept his hand where it was, occasionally rubbing your thigh up and down and giving it a gentle squeeze. He kept glancing your way to wink at you with his signature cocky smile, knowing what he was doing was making you more nervous. Your eyes were scanning the area praying no one could notice how nervous you were and how awfully turned on you were just by his hand resting on your thigh. You were holding yourself back from rubbing your thighs together giving yourself a little bit of relief.

As you were in the middle of a spoonful of food, Johnny inched his hand way closer to the bottom of your skirt. His fingers were just inches away from being underneath it, you could feel yourself getting wetter the closer he got to your core, and the longer he kept his hand there.

Johnny could feel the warmness emitting from you which only made him harder, he could feel a bead of precum forming at his tip, just waiting to drip out and stain his pants. He wanted so badly to go farther but did not want to startle you with his neediness when he suddenly he felt his hand being gripped by yours. He looked down at your hand with a raised eyebrow questioning the action without saying words. You couldn't take the teasing anymore and needed him, acting out of urges you gripped his hand and gazed into his eyes with lust and need. A look Johnny had been wanting to see ever since he met you, the look you gave him made his cock twitch in his pants in the slightest. He instantly caught onto what your eyes were telling him and let you gently release your grip for him to slip his fingers past the bottom hem of your skirt to graze his fingers against the seam of your panties.

At times you sensed his fingers toy with the seam of your panties, teasing you. He could feel the small wet patch that had formed in your panties, his finger putting pressure on it feeling how you clenched around nothing. He scooted his chair a bit closer to you, to whisper "Be a good girl for me and keep a straight face will you?" You were so lost in the sensation of his fingers teasing you, that you hadn't even noticed how you were biting your lip and releasing quiet whimpers only he could hear. Johnny was gently inching his pointer and middle finger towards your clit, slowly and gently rubbing small circles on it through the thin fabric of your soaked panties. You could feel yourself uncontrollably spreading your thighs a bit more to give him more access to you.

Instinctively, Johnny's fingers were speeding up as he felt your thighs clench around his hand. Just as your orgasm was going to reach you, Johnny pushed his fingers into you, slowly pumping in and out as you came around his fingers. You covered your mouth, harshly biting your finger, muffling your moans not wanting to draw attention to yourself or Johnny. As you breathed heavily you unclenched your thighs letting Johnny pull his fingers out of you. Smiling, Johnny looked down at you as he brought his fingers to his mouth and hummed as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip.

"So sweet.." He whispered into your ear. Wanting to return the favor you snaked your hand down from the table to his thigh. His expression changed when he felt your hand hover over his bulge, palming him and rubbing him through his slacks. His eyes traveled down to where your hand was, quietly puffing out a breath. His hips weakly rutted up into your hand needing more stimulation. He grew aware of how much it was affecting him and tried to act as if everything was normal, his elbows rested on the table pretending to listen in on some conversation on the other end of the table. Johnny could feel himself getting harder when he felt his zipper be drawn down. You pulled him out and gave him a couple of pumps before bringing your hand to your mouth and spitting into it, making sure no one saw as you brought it back to his cock.

Johnny's hands clenched into a fist when he felt your hand back on him. You moved your hand slightly faster when you felt him twitch. Still focused on keeping his composure, Johnny let out a grunt covered by a cough when he saw someone turn their head in his direction.

Feeling his orgasm coming to him quicker than he thought, Johnny cupped his mouth to cover his face as he harshly bit his lip. His hips bucked up into your hand as it stroked his sensitive tip. His chest rose and fell quickly just as he came, cum slowly streaming down your fingers as he twitched in your hand. You removed your hand from him but kept it under the table seeing how covered it was. Grabbing a napkin, you wiped his cum off of your hand and turned to look up at Johnny, who was still catching his breath. "not so shy anymore, huh?".

[amazingmsme]

Death Wish

AN: got fans come get your dinner! Here’s the Brienne x Jamie fic as promised! Idk how y’all survived this long without fluffy fics, this fandom is living off CRUMBS! But I wrote Jamie & Brienne flirting & teasing each other to fix it. Enjoy day 13!

Brienne would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't excited to see Jamie again. In their time together, he had really grown on her, as much as she tried to fight or deny the fact. The man had a decent wit to carry on an interesting conversation, and a dry sense of humor that always seemed to leave a smirk on her face.

But apparently, that wasn't good enough for Jamie Lannister.

They were alone in his room, or rather, his guest room, sharing a couple glasses of wine and nibbling on some cheese he'd brought with him from the south. He had just finished a joke, and when he didn't get the expected reaction, he couldn't help but pout, even if it was slightly for show.

"Am I just not funny to you?" he asked outright, when she merely huffed in amusement at his joke. She furrowed her brows in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she cocked her head to the side curiously.

"You never laugh at anything I say; well, you have, but more at my expense," he clarified, making her pause for thought. He had really been trying to amuse her all this time... She bit back a fond smile.

"If you're concerned I don't find you amusing, you can put your fears to rest," she assured. Jamie sat up a little straighter, leaning across the table.

"So you do like my jokes?" he pressed further, flashing a drunken, but no less charming, grin.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Yes, alright? Is that what you want to hear?" she caved easily.

"Then would it kill you to just laugh at them every once in a while? I'll even take a chuckle," he bargained.

""You're ridiculous."

"And you act as though humor will be the thing that does you in."

The glare she sent his way shut him up. "I'm simply not as," she paused in thought, "Forthcoming, with my amusement."

He blew her off, tossing his head back in annoyance as he waved a hand. "Excuses, excuses."

"Why do you even care?" she asked incredulously. This wasn't even important, and there were certainly better topics of discussion to focus on. She wasn't used to being the center of attention.

"Curiosity, I suppose," he shrugged. "I've never heard you laugh," he said, sounding surprisingly genuine. He was leaning against the table, chin propped up in his hands as he stared at her with big, green eyes. She quickly adverted her own gaze.

"It's nothing special," she insisted.

"Maybe, but I want to see for myself."

She wasn't expecting it. Honestly, it was the last thing she was expecting, and as such, she had lowered her guard. But his hand snuck under the table, giving her knee a few rapid squeezes, and she froze with a choked off gasp, leg jerking up and banging the table. Their plates clattered and tankards sloshed as she tried to will away the blush spreading across her cheeks.

"I knew it! I mean, I was hopeful, but I knew you just had to be ticklish!" he bragged, despite the fact that the only hand he had left was currently held in a vice grip. The bewildered look on her face was worth it.

"What are you talking about?" she hissed, looking him up and down as though he'd gone mad.

"Well if I can't get you to laugh the traditional way, this'll just have to do!"

"No, Jamie, I swear-" she cut herself off with a bark of laughter when he wiggled free from her grasp and immediately went back to tickling her knees. As hard as she tried, she couldn't contain her mirth, only getting louder as he continued.

"So knees are a good spot. Makes sense, you're all legs," he teased, spidering over her kneecap. She shrieked and doubled over, fist hitting the table as she tried to chase his hand away.

Finally, she caught him.

"Do you hahave a death wish?" she asked, panting as she caught her breath.

Jamie never looked so smug.

"Do you really have to ask?" he cocked his head, arching a brow playfully.

"Alright then. Your turn."

Suddenly, he changed his tune.

"Wait no, we can tahahalk about thihihis!" But it was already too late for that.

"What's there to talk about? I warned you, but you didn't listen," she pointed out. Her hands dug into his sides, and he immediately burst into shrill giggles.

"Thahat was barely ahaha warnIIIIING! Nohoho plehehease, not thehere!”

"I mean, honestly, you're lucky I didn't just take the other hand," she taunted, though she tried to appear annoyed.

"Ihif you dihihid, I'd tehehell everyone about how I- nohoho wahahait!" he cut himself off with bright, cheerful laughter as her hands lowered to knead his hips. He twisted and bucked as he tried in vein to stop her, but he didn't exactly mind the situation he found himself in.

Still, he needed to breathe.

"Ohohokay, I'm sorry, Ihi'm sohohorry!" he pleaded, grateful when he was given a break.

"Yeah?" she questioned, and he nodded frantically, sporting a giddy smile. "You sure?" More nodding. "I don't believe you."

"But- Brienne nohoho! Plehehease!"

"I should've done this ages ago! You would've been so much easier to deal with if I knew this was all it took to take down the dreaded Kingslayer." It was rare for her to show emotion, even more so if those feelings stemmed from affection. Yet here she was, actually teasing him.

Surely that had to count for something.

Her fingers were long and slender, able to work their way into any ticklish spot they could find. Jamie tried to hold out, he really did. Because it was downright embarrassing how right she was; just a few fluttering touches and well placed squeezes, and he was already tapping out.

"You wihihin, YOU WIN!" he blurted when her hands rested on his thighs. She arched a brow, staring down at him quizzically, but a fond smile tugged at her lips.

"Oh really? What do I win?" she asked nonchalantly as he continued to unravel.

"A-ahahanythihihing!" he blurted out, and Brienne had to bite back a laugh of her own. He was truly desperate, wasn't he? He had to be, if he was begging like this.

"Anything?" she questioned, drilling her thumbs against his hipbones. He let out a high pitched shriek before tossing his head back.

"W-within reason!" he quickly stuttered out before cutting himself off with an embarrassing snort. His face flushed a dark pink and he shook his head weakly, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

"Well then, that's not anything now, is it?" she asked in an even tone, softly pinching her way up his sides, his ribs, slowly traveling higher and higher. Jamie was squirming more the higher she went, babbling pleas pouring from his mouth.

"B-Briehehehenne nohoho! P-plehehease, nohot thehehere! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE!" he screamed when she reached her destination, pressing his arms down to his sides. This only served to trap her hands there, leaving him no other choice but to laugh. Joyful cackling filled the air, and she knew he only had one hand to fight back, but he wasn't even trying.

Wait, did he like this? Then, a worse thought: was she liking this?

The new revelation was sudden and alarming, and she needed to put an end to this stupid little game he had started. But not without taking his offer first.

"Alright, I'll let you go. But you owe me a favor. Any favor, any time I need it, no questions asked no matter what," she had to raise her voice slightly to be heard over his hysterics.

"OHOKAHAHAY! YEHEHES I'LL DO IHIT! SOUNDS GREHEHEAT!"

Okay, at this point she seriously doubted he was even listening, but he agreed, so she tugged her hands free. He giggled and jerked back when her fingers wiggled one last time as she pulled away.

"Do you even know what you agreed to?" she asked, not even bothering to hide her smirk as she watched him recover.

"Something about a favor," he shook his head, dazzling smile still firmly in place. He doubted it would be leaving any time soon.

"Good thing I was bluffing."

Wait, what did he just say?

Brienne looked at him with wide eyes, barely having a second to brace herself before getting body slammed out of her chair.

"You see," he started as he struggled to pin her arms beneath his legs while straddling her waist, "I always win tickle fights." Most of the time. "So I have a reputation to uphold."

"You lying bastard! Now let me go!" she growled, trying to squirm her way to freedom. He was heavier than she expected, and it wasn't so easy to just throw him off. Or so she told herself.

"No, I don't think so. I only found one tickle spot!"

"And that's all you need to find," she said, trying to sound threatening.

"So there's more?" he asked, resting his hand on her waist. She went completely stiff, lips pressed into a thin line.

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

And then he struck, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't contain the laughter that flooded out of her.

"Feel free to yield at any time," he taunted, and Brienne regretted letting him off so easy. No way would she tap out from just a little tickling, she refused. But depending on how ruthless he proved to be, she might not have a choice.

She'll just have to weigh her options when she's desperate enough.

[asa-do-your-thing]

our reflection

18+ MINORS DNI Theon Greyjoy x F!Reader 1.4 k Warnings: P in V sex, porn w/o plot, smut, mirror sex, slight mentions of insecurities with one's body, doggystyle (I wrote this when I was tired and feverish, lol, forgive me please)

“D’you think you can hand me my ribbon if you plan on loitering in my chambers?” You asked Theon with a small smile, watching him intently as he leaned against the closed door. His features seemed even sharper through your looking glass, his golden earring glinting in the candlelight. “And might I remind you that Robb’ll lob your head off if he catches you here?”

Theon grinned even further and reached into your ribbon-basket, carelessly picking one out. “What’d you need it for, anyways? You look good without one, either way.” He sauntered over to you, trying to find the purpose for it, trying to tie it around your throat, then over the top of your head, before dropping it into your lap. He gave you a devilish smirk through the mirror and teasingly put his hand on your chest, teasingly drawing his fingers along your exposed flesh and under your shift, eliciting a gasp from you.

“For my hair! But, oh - Theon!”, you whisper-shouted at him, not daring to break your eye contact. “We can’t!”

You stood abruptly, the ribbon fluttering forgotten to the floor. Theon's hand still lingered on your skin, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down your spine. You turned to face him, your breath quickening as you met his intense gaze.

"Theon, we shouldn't..." you murmured, but even as the words left your lips, you found yourself leaning into him, craving more of his electrifying caress.

"Shouldn't what?" he replied huskily, his other hand snaking around your waist to pull you flush against him. "This feels right to me."

His lips crashed into yours, the kiss searing and demanding. You melted into his embrace, rationality evaporating like mist under the heat of the rising sun. Your fingers tangled in his dark curls as the kiss deepened, a soft moan escaping you.

Theon walked you backwards until your knees hit the edge of the bed. He lowered you down gently, never breaking the kiss, his weight settling over you. But the creak of the mattress jolted you back to your senses. You placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back slightly.

"Theon, wait," you gasped, chest heaving. "I cannot, I do not… I don’t want you to see me naked, I don’t look…”

Raising an eyebrow, he gently turned you around, making you face the mirror. “That is the most foolish thing I’ve ever heard you say,” he mumbled into your ear, gently kissing it. You could not stop the moan escaping your lips as he started untying your dress and slipped your shift off of your shoulders, making you look at your full chest. “Do you truly wish to tell me…,” he mumbled as he gently pinched a nipple, his eyes trained on yours in the reflection, “that you think that you do not look good?”

You couldn't tear your gaze away from the mirror as Theon's deft fingers continued their tantalizing exploration of your body. His touch set your skin ablaze, desire pooling low in your belly. You arched into his caress, head falling back against his shoulder, lips parted in a silent gasp.

"You are exquisite," Theon murmured, reverence and lust mingling in his tone, his usual cockiness almost gone. "A goddess made flesh." He punctuated his words with open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat, teeth grazing sensitive skin.

Rational thought scattered like leaves in an autumn gale. In that moment, you couldn't remember why you had ever protested this. It felt so right, so inevitable, like the tides answering the moon's siren call.

"Theon," you breathed, his name a plea and a prayer on your tongue. Your hands reached back, relishing the firmness of his muscled thighs, the leanness of his stomach.

Spinning you around, Theon claimed your mouth in a searing kiss, devouring you like a man starved. His hands roamed your body greedily as he made you stand up, tearing your clothes off of you. “Fuck,” he groaned as he hastily threw his clothes off as well, “hold onto the back of the chair and lean over. And don’t you dare your beautiful eyes off of me.”

Blushing, you obliged and gasped way too loudly as you watched him spitting onto his long fingers and working the spit onto your cunny. “Theon… I… Oh!”, you managed to press out through clenched teeth as he lazily rubbed circles on your bud, slowly fisting his length.

Theon's eyes darkened with lust as he watched your face contort with pleasure in the mirror's reflection. "Gods, you're so responsive," he growled appreciatively. "I've barely touched you and you're already dripping for me."

He increased the pressure and speed of his fingers, relishing the breathy moans and whimpers falling from your lips. Your hips bucked instinctively, seeking more of that delicious friction. The coil of pleasure low in your belly wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment.

"Look at you," Theon purred, his gaze raking over your trembling form. "Wanton and desperate, ready to come undone at my touch. Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this? How many nights I've lain awake aching for you?"

"Theon, please," you keened, knuckles white as you gripped the chair, trying your hardest to keep your eyes open. "I need... I need..."

"I know exactly what you need, love."

Withdrawing his fingers, Theon gripped your hips and positioned himself at your entrance. With one powerful thrust, he sheathed himself to the hilt, a guttural groan rumbling through his chest at your tight heat enveloping him.

You cried out, hands scrabbling for purchase against the smooth wood of the chair. Theon set a punishing pace, each snap of his hips driving you closer to the edge. Your eyes never left his and you were sure that by now the whole castle had been woken by the sound of your breasts slapping agaist your stomach and by Theon’s poorly concealed grunts as he buried himself in you, his dark eyes hungrily looking at you.

As you felt yourself clenching up, you closed your eyes, only to open them suddenly again as you felt him stilling. “Did I tell you to stop looking?”, he groaned and quickly clasped a hand around your neck, giving you an encouraging grin. “I want to see your pretty face scrunching up as you come on my cock and your big eyes widening as I take you over the edge.”

You forced your eyes open, determined not to disobey him again as he started thrusting once more. The intensity of his gaze, the exquisite fullness of him buried deep within you, the slight pressure of his hand on your throat - it was all too much. The pleasure crested and broke over you in crashing waves, your walls fluttering and clenching around him as you came with a hoarse cry of his name.

"That's it, love," Theon panted, his hips stuttering as your climax triggered his own. "Gods, you're perfect. So fucking perfect."

He thrust into you erratically a few more times before quickly pulling out, spilling his seed all over your back with a shuddering groan. His forehead dropped to your shoulder as you both fought to catch your breath in the aftermath of your shared bliss.

Slowly, Theon withdrew from you and turned you to face him. Strong arms enveloped you, cradling you tenderly against his sweat-slicked chest. "I never want to hear you calling yourself anything other than ‘utterly gorgeous’. Understood?”

You stood onto your tiptoes and kissed him slowly, smiling against his lips. “Understood, my kraken.”

Theon smiled and kissed you back, his hands caressing your cheeks. "Good. Now let me help you clean up before someone comes looking for us." He led you over to the washbasin and gently wiped the remnants of your lovemaking from your skin with a damp cloth. The tender intimacy of the moment made your heart swell. When he finished, he planted a soft kiss on your shoulder.

"I should go," Theon said reluctantly, reaching for his discarded clothing. "As much as I'd love to stay, we can't risk getting caught."

You sighed, knowing he was right but loathe to see him leave. "When can I see you again?" you asked quietly as you slipped your shift back over your head.

Theon paused in the midst of lacing up his breeches and flashed you a roguish grin. "Meet me in the godswood tonight, an hour after the last watch begins. I'll be waiting for you."

With a final searing kiss that left you breathless, Theon slipped out the door, casting one last heated look over his shoulder before disappearing down the corridor. You leaned against the closed door, fingers pressed to your still-tingling lips, already counting the hours until you could be in his arms again.

[pillowspace]

Oh, I really like that idea. The family fluff and them treating y/n like a pup. I have so many questions my dear.

What I've been thinking is would y/n be built different? Living in water most of the time since being a child would affect their anatomy I imagine. Things like having wider, more developed shoulders, thighs or upper body (what you can often see on professional swimmers) would come as natural i assume also the trained ability to hold breath for longer periods of time and being able to use mer language.

But I wonder if their body would also adapt to environment in some different ways, would they develop abilities and anatomy not quite natural for humans? Like better eyesight under the water, possibility to digest raw food without getting sick due to this kind of diet they practiced their whole life or natural intuition regarding animals, their intentions and moods.

Would they have contact with other mermaids? Something like Spider from avatar the way of water like being a weird monkey friend among a group of mers.

How would they learn about human culture? the human language?

As a bilingual person I sometimes struggle with proverbs or slang, because you can't translate them word to word, they won't make any sense that way, I like to think y/n would have the same problem haha. Like imagine them saying ,, Nah there is no way they ripped their gills as a pup in this" which would translate to having something as a hobby you spent lots of time and work on.

Also would they struggle with human speech as an adult? Like despite the education would they struggle with some words or didn't knew the meaning?

After growing up would they live on the shore? Boat? Or in the village near the water?

You wrote about them being totally oblivious to human dating strategies and I'm in love with it. Love me some oblivious y/n's. But also let's reverse that y/n have a human friend that found something cool like a pretty rock or a seashell and knowing y/n is someone who loves sea and has surprisingly big collection of rare shells, rocks etc they showed it to them like:

Friend: Look what I found while diving last week! * shows the pretty pearl/shell/rock/some anemone*

Y/n : Oh! It rare, must be brought from away, not appear here. *after inspecting tries to give it back*

Friend: No No! Keep it it's for you, it reminded me of you when I saw it so I took it. It's not as gorgeous as the rest of your collection but I hope you will accept it!

Y/n being convinced they are trying to court them now : :O *Runs to Sun and Moon* Dads/Guys holy fuck

And like they start this chain of present giving where

Y/n : omg courting omg what I do? They are good providers, good eyes, strong. I must show the same! I will think about it but I will show I'm interested, considering the proposition *Gives sea glass*

Friend: Hahaha exchanging not really meaningful gifts and eating lunch with my bff. Oh! A sea glass! I must repay for a gift with another! So fun!

Or the other scenario where there is a mer that doesn't know y/n have been raised by mers and knows a lot about human culture for some reason and tries to court them that way and they are both so confused.

Also I think it would be funny if y/n had a sea slugs obsession, like they are their favourite animal, they are like sea puppies for them. And they feel personally attacked when someone doesn't know about them.

Ohhh I'm sorry about rambling but I'm in awe of this au I would love to hear more about it! The relationships dynamics! Characters! Everything! Everyday you surprise with your creativity more and more!

I'm gonna say "PROBABLY" to all of the anatomy stuff because I was not even aware of that being a thing for professional swimmers

Yeah, they'd be able to hold their breath for awhile! Not an abnormal amount of time though, however you'd define that (one of my friends can hold its breath for 2 whole minutes). I would like to also imagine that there is a way for Y/N to breathe underwater for a period of time with Sun and Moon's help. Like how in some romantic AUs, it's done through a kiss, but kisses themselves aren't inherently romantic in nature, are they? So the very cute image I'm getting here is Sun telling Y/N to hold their breath, pulling them under the water, then pressing his mouth to the top of their hair to do a very exaggerated "mmmmm...wah!!" like parrot owners do with their parrots. There's a few little sparkles around the top of their head, then Y/N is freely giggling under the water. Sun swims around them in circles like "swim with me! Swim with me! Like this!"

They can also use mer language. It would perhaps sound a little bit like there's a speech impediment to a mer. Still understandable though, so *Sun voice* 👏👏 good job, good job!! :D

Yeah, they can digest raw food better than the average human can!

I'd like to imagine Y/N meets other mers too, yeah. Maybe even gets to play with some other child mers, and Moon has to warn them that his kid is more delicate so they have to be careful. Y/N might feel a little left out though, so Sun and Moon still take them back to the human island from time to time where there are human children who won't leave them behind for being too slow. Even if Y/N is seen as a little weird, but oh well. A lot of kids are weird

Aaand that also goes into human culture and language. Again, Sun and Moon take Y/N to the small human island from time to time. Perhaps they have a deal with one of the humans to babysit essentially. Keep watch for them and keep Y/N taken care of. Hey, maybe it's Vanessa! Jdkghd yeah I like the proverbs struggle

I imagine they're pretty good with the island's human language. They had a small vocabulary with it already before meeting Sun and Moon, then they learned some from Vanessa, plus the other kids. Buuut they're not perfect with it, even in adulthood. They still have struggles, and maybe even don't know how to form certain sounds all too well. They sound like they have an accent, and don't know what to say when people ask what it is

I feel like boats would make Y/N feel a bit weird. Sun and Moon would always grab onto Y/N and flee whenever they saw one, maybe there had been a bad instance with someone in a boat hurting Sun or Moon at some point, and Y/N knows Sun and Moon take down large boats from time to time. So boats, especially large ones, might somewhat be associated with danger and the ability to be torn straight through. Perhaps they moved into a house by the shore and occasionally go out on a very small boat, since small boats had always seemed to be less of a source of fear and more so just caution

AWWWW THE THOUGHT OF Y/N TRYING TO COURT SOMEONE LIKE A MER WOULD IS ACTUALLY SOSO CUTE. I don't even know who this friend IS, and I'm obsessed

Oh sea slugs... you have got me there

[booksooks]

Dyed Hair and Inked Skin

Author's Note: I wrote this while in my feels and listening to Michael Buble. Idk what more to tell y'all.

Contents: Dyeing hair, tattoos but not in the conventional way. Kissing and confessions.

Word Count: 1924

Summary: You knew Dabi before, as Touya. And then Touya was gone, no matter how much you wished for him to come back.

You weren’t stupid, contrary to what the rest of the world thought of you.

When you were little, you knew Touya. He was your friend. Maybe not the best of friends, but you still hung out when you could. You didn’t know why he hung out with you, you were quirkless and a bit of a reject, but he insisted he stick by your side. He said it had something to do with his father, but you didn’t press it. Your mother didn’t exactly approve of him as you both got older, but his attitude towards you never changed. He was kind, in his own way, despite his rangy looks and quick tongue.

A “don’t stay up too late, stupid. You don’t need bigger eye bags,” as he left was enough to know he cared, deep down. You were tempted to pull on one of his piercings, just to fuck with him.

But you didn’t. And you walked him to his door, just down the road. He flicked your forehead gently before he went inside, and you just rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out. Neither of you talked much when you were with each other, the understanding for a need of silence heavy on both of your shoulders.

When you got to the end of his (massive) driveway, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You took it out and looked at the message, from Touya.

I meant it. Go to sleep soon

Yea yea. Night, Touya

Night

You were fifteen when he was declared missing, and then dead. You were devastated. Your mother was understanding, perhaps a little too much. “I think she loved him,” you heard her say to your father. They were outside your door, because you had locked yourself inside your room in a silent vigil. For Touya.

Who knew? Maybe you did love him. All you knew was that Touya was gone. Forever. And he wasn’t coming back.

How you had ended up working for the Shigaraki Tomura, you weren’t aware. Your parents had not approved of your decision to work with “the bad guys” as they had so maturely put it, but you were an adult. You could make your own decisions. And you were their child. They weren’t going to throw you under the bus.

You still called with them every week. You knew your mother would get worried if you didn’t.

You had, in the end, gotten a quirk. Bodily Control, it did exactly what it sounded like. You could control what happened to people, sensed their very breath. Stopped or slowed heartbeats. You could break ribs, paralyze people… you could kill. You had killed, in fact, but it had taken so much out of you that you had refused to work for the next week. You could barely get out of bed without toppling over. Toga took care of you for that week, and by Thursday the fat on your hips had returned, and you could no longer count your ribs. You recovered quickly, but while you were down, you were down and out.

Shigaraki was pretty pissed about that. But what could you do?

Mr. Compress was more understanding about it. You seemed to become Toga’s favorite after that incident, claiming excitedly that you “don’t have to stab the baddies to get them to bleed!” You had just smiled weakly at that and hoped she didn’t stab you.

And Dabi. The only thing Dabi had said when you shuffled into the lounge that Thursday evening was “if you can walk you can fight. Or at least go get some more Jack Daniels.” He held up the empty bottle, waggling his eyebrows lazily.

You had just rolled your eyes, but you grabbed the bottle anyway and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” he muttered, already breaking the seal. You just nodded and left to go lay down again. By Sunday you’d be fine. Your hair would stop falling out by Sunday, and it wouldn’t feel like you were laying on crushed glass, either.

And by Monday, you were ready to go again. Maybe not on another killing spree (it took your body about a month to heal fully, but a week was good enough if you took it way easy). So life continued on.

But you weren’t stupid, as much as Dabi insisted you were. You saw the boxes of dye and bleach in the trash, the way his breath hitched whenever someone mentioned the name Todoroki, or how his body almost shut down when Shigaraki offhandedly mentioned “Father.” How he absolutely refused to call you by your name, the way he seemed to take a sip of whatever he was drinking when the both of you made eye contact. The way he subconsciously leaned towards you, just slightly when you were talking. The way his eyes would follow you for two strides, the flicker away like he was caught, even if you never said anything.

And so it was that you found yourself, somehow, walking up to the roof of the building you all had occupied, a blanket around your shoulders and a bowl of black ink in hand. You saw Dabi on the edge of the roof, leaning back and watching the traffic, the stars, nothing and everything.

“It’s a little cold to be out here in nothing but a tee-shirt,” you say quietly, draping an end of the blanket over his shoulders.

“I am my own heater, dollface.” But he didn’t move away from the blanket.

You held up the bowl of ink. Despite him avoiding you pretty regularly, this was something he let you do often enough. He shrugged the blanket off and pulled his thin white shirt over his head, discarding it next to him. You dipped a brush in the ink and hesitated over his back before deciding on a simple vine pattern. It was nothing like him and didn’t mean anything, but it was easy with the one brush you had. It started at the top of his spine, the vertebrae sticking out making it harder to paint properly, but it worked. It widened quickly, then tightened back up at the base of his spine. You added the leaves and a few thorns and finished the bottom with two ivy leaves facing each other. Then, using your quirk, you sank it into his skin, a tattoo for as long as he wanted it.

“Turn around. I have one more I want to do.”

Dabi looked at you oddly, but he complied, closing his eyes. You painted a capital “T” just over his heart, but didn’t let it sink in. The ink ran down his skin, and he shivered at the feeling.

“Why didn’t you sink it in?” he asked quietly, never opening his eyes.

“Do you really want to let him die completely?” You countered, just as quietly, watching his face for a reaction. You weren’t using your quirk, but if you had been, you were sure you’d hear his heartbeat elevate with that one question.

“I don’t know who the fuck you’re talking about,” Dabi snarled, pushing your hand away.

“I’m not stupid, Touya.” You looked at him, eyes flickering from the T on his chest to his angry blue eyes.

“Don’t call me that. You have no right to go around saying that name.”

“Right. Sorry.”

You both sat in silence for a few more minutes before you picked the blanket back up off the roof and slung it around his shoulders again. He didn’t shrug it off this time, either. You both went back to looking at everything and nothing, the both of you unwilling to look at each other.

Finally looking up at Dabi, you decided to take a risk and lay your head on his shoulder. When your still-sensitive skin hit the cold staples of his shoulder, you both hissed in pain. But neither of you moved away. Dabi was right: he was warm, but he was almost as malnourished as you were. His shoulder was sharp and dug into your cheek, but the pain was worth the comforting heat his body radiated.

“I wish…” you started, not sure if you should finish. When you felt Dabi’s gaze on your face, you continued. For his sake. “I wish someone had gotten to you before all of this.”

“All of what?” He sounded hurt.

“Your death. Your want for revenge. I wish someone had saved you before then.”

“Someone was close,” he said, laying his head on yours. “They were nice to me, no matter what my attitude was, but they didn’t take my bullshit. I think in another life we could have been happy.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You were quiet for a few more minutes, and suddenly you were eleven, he was thirteen, you weren’t Heartrender and he wasn’t Dabi.

Just Y/N and Touya, sitting on the rooftop of your old apartment building with hot coco and popcorn. Maybe you two would share a kiss, maybe not. You broke yourself out of those memories; they weren’t now.

“I’m not saying you should bring him back, Dabi,” you said softly, half-hoping he wouldn’t hear you. But the noise had died down for a little, so you knew he did. “But I am saying you shouldn’t throw him away altogether. There were some good memories, right?”

He sighed, long and low and drawn out, and you knew you were right.

“Put it somewhere else,” Dabi said, not looking at you but lifting his head once more.

“Where?” You asked, using the blanket to wipe away the ink on his chest.

Dabi finally looked at you and then his eyes flickered to somewhere around his waist.

“Your hip?” You suggested, dipping the brush in the ink. Dabi nodded, and you shifted so that you could tug the tight jeans he wore down a bit. “And I thought girls wore tight jeans,” you muttered.

“Hey, you’re not the one putting them on, dollface.”

You started painting the small “T” on his prominent hipbone, and when it was done, you sank the ink into Dabi’s skin. You let his pants snap back over the tattoo, and set the bowl of ink down. Dabi grabbed your hand and pulled it up to just barely hover over his face.

His eyes were clear of anger. Vulnerable. Sweet. Free and blue and beautiful, and then they were closed and he was gripping your hand tighter, almost painfully so. Almost like he was preparing himself for something, or debating an issue with himself, before he let your hand rest fully against his scarred face.

And then he leaned forward and kissed you.

Oh. Oh.

It was surprisingly soft, just a brush of his scarred lips over yours, and you could feel his breath puff against your mouth, but then you were pulling his face closer again for another kiss.

And another, and another, and another, all as gentle and timid and light as the first.

When you both (mutually, for lack of air and dizziness) pulled away, all you managed to breathlessly say was, “so that’s how it’s gonna be, huh?”

Dabi nodded hesitantly. “If you want it to, then I’d like… this.”

“This being the – the kissing and stuff?”

“Yeah. If you,” his hand squeezed yours once more, “want to.”

“Hell yes, I want to.” You pulled Dabi in for another sweet kiss, mindful of the staples on his face, the few tears being shed, and the pain in your hand from using your quirk.

The pain was worth it.

End Notes: Thanks for reading! 💙

AO3 Link

ABSOLUTELY NO ONE HAS MY PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WORK TO ANY SITE.

[deluxe-rabbitsu]

Yuunise looks! (⁠๑⁠´⁠•⁠.̫⁠ ⁠•⁠ ⁠`⁠๑⁠)

I wanted to do this since I'm working on more references for her other event outfits, safe to say that I only have a few left to be up to date. I was thinking what if Yuu never makes it home and has to rebuild their life all over again in Twisted Wonderland? Would they even stay on night Raven the whole time until Grim graduates?

↓ More rambling underneath ↓

Okay so for the first year look: basically wild woman without madols. She wants to buy many things and commodities but she doesn't want to get a side job!! What if her feral cat burns ramshackle down?

But yeah, she doesn't have many things to make herself more presentable so she's kind of a mess but makes it up with her wonderful personality (lying)

Just for the people who don't understand my chicken scratch I'll write down here what I wrote of the image

1st year look

-A little unkept (umkept? Idk English)

-Fluffy hair (DRY) ;-;

-Uses glasses but doesn't get them on because it's not swag

-Skincare lacking bc money!

-Lip balm for the win

Second year look: Tired of her hair, had a little more madols but she becomes stingy with her routine and products.

I'm taking inspiration from my own experience as a long haired girly, as much as it's fun to have long hair it's a trouble to keep it nice. More when your hair is constantly frizzy and wavy like mine, so a solution is to cut a bit out of your hair and tie it up so one can feel true peace within oneself 🕊️

2nd year look:

-Still won't use her glasses (astigmatism be damned)

-Hair up 24/7 with ribbons gifted by someone special ♡

-Makeup on fleek

-Better uniforms that actually fit

Third year look: Doesn't give a fuck anymore and wants to be happy to forget the fact that she can't go back to her old life–trying to move on already

So the news hit finally and she's confused, she's miserable to the fact that she'll never see her family or friends back home but happy to know that she has archived so much all on her own accord. She finally gets a sense of freedom with herself.

Now she's just trying to make herself forget of the unavoidable circumstances by pampering herself, making a new 'me'

3rd year look

-Longer hair

-Finally uses her glasses!

-More freedom in makeup and uniform styling

-Embrace the freckles!!

-Bowtie now used as hair ribbon

What am I going to do when twst ends, this is my very interesting hyperfixation 😭😭

[itsohh]

As One

A/N: Female reader. This is an alternative branch in my vampire AU series to the fic 'My Perfect Girl'. Or rather that fic is the alternative branch as this is the main branch? Thats the Graves route and this is a continuation of the I guess 141 branch. I orginally wrote this back in April and was always on the fence about posting it if I wanted to make all the relationships a branch situation like Graves or a poly situation. Then overall I wasn't ever quite happy with the lack of action in this but I wanted to post something on my birthday a couple of days back but busy. Anyway, heres to that.

Summary: Stuck at Los Vaqueros base, you had one chance to escape when all the shadows turned on you and the rest of your allies. With the help of Rudy you manage to get away and reflect on the days events, hoping to see your lovers again.

Word count: 4382

Warnings: smut, blood kink

AO3 Series Masterlist

Despite the constant anxieties that had settled into your mind, you managed to grow comfortable with Rudy. Perhaps he was naturally kind and comforting or perhaps he knew those feelings that plagued your mind. They weren't something new of course, whenever you saw any of the boys go out for a mission you couldn't help that gnawing sensation inside of you. It came with territory. It had something that had formed over time. 

You could still recall back to when you first started being their handler, it was never there. Perhaps it's because of all the missions you did with Price and Gaz, you were able to be there in person to see to their safety. Or perhaps it was simply because of how much you grew to care for all of them. 

Either way, you knew that being in person wouldn't help. Not this time. You were called when needed and being there without would only be a hindrance. Rudy was a good distraction regardless, they wouldn't be gone forever. Only a few hours. With that much firepower, you were sure how they could lose. 

“Soap speaks highly of you,” Rudy spoke as he poured you a class of cola. The pair of you were in a small kitchen separate from the main cafeteria.

“I swear no one gossips like your kind.” You muttered and he laughed. You had encountered teammates in the past who gossiped but no one gossiped like vampires. 

“I assure you it was less gossiping and more gushing if anything. Soap was like a high school boy and Ghost? Ghost seemed rather protective I don't think he let Soap mention you at all once the Shadows showed up.”

You rolled your eyes and brought the glass to your lips. Rudy looked off to the side for a moment in thought. “I suppose I can't say much, Alejandro's rather similar.” 

“Yes yes we all saw the eye sex you two were having in the five minutes I was with the pair of you.” You said. 

Rudy let out a cough and rubbed his face in embarrassment. “I admit I thought my feelings would have died down over the years but they have not.”

You looked down at the glass. That feeling deep inside felt stronger than normally a gut feeling that something was going to happen despite all the logical factors saying otherwise. 

“It must be overwhelming at times to be the mate of two vampires let alone being human.”

“Uh- three.” 

Rudy cocked a brow in question. 

“Another operator in 141, Gaz. It's like a separate relationship.”

“Separate?”

“Well, it's Soap, Ghost and I then there's Gaz and I.” 

“Ah, I understand. It makes sense, lives can be so short and if they all care for you why not share?” 

You closed your eyes as his words sunk in. Your life was so incredibly short compared to theirs. A shaky breath left your mouth and you desperately pushed those thoughts down. Now was not the time to have that kind of existential crisis. 

“I apologize, I didn't mean anything by that.” Rudy quickly spoke, not oblivious to the effect they had on you. 

“It's fine. Just a lot on my mind.”

“How about I walk you back to your room, some rest might do you good. I promise to wake you up when they get back.”

You nodded and stood up from the stool. “Yeah that sounds good-”

Your voice was interrupted by a shout down the walkway. Both your heads whipped towards the sound. Rudy was faster than you but the both of you peeked out of the door to see a pair of Shadows holding a Vaquero at gunpoint. 

"The fuck are you doing gringo?!”

“Nobody has to get hurt, just follow us.”

“What the hell you mean?”

“Graves’s orders. You're going with the rest.” 

The pair of you ducked back and looked each other in the eyes. “They're rounding up all your people.”

“From the sound of it, Graves has taken control of the base.” Rudy furrowed his brows as he spoke. 

“Fuck. Who the fuck does he think he is? That shit’s not legal.”

“Graves is not a man to care if something is legal or not.” 

You glanced towards the door and then scanned the room with your eyes. “We have to get out of here, where does that window lead?” You gestured to the windows at the top of the room. While they were high up, it was certainly possible for you to climb on the counters and escape. 

“It leads outside, we can go down between the buildings. It's dark so we should have cover.” Rudy locked the door and was quick to climb up to the window and open it. 

He climbed out and you promptly followed him. Rudy waited and braced your drop but you were quick to start moving. In a crouched manner, the pair of you crept down. Through the cracks of the buildings you could hear the Shadows round up everyone. Rudy let out a small curse and you glanced at him. 

“Graves won't get away with this.” You promised. 

“We have to get out first before we think about Graves.” He focused on the fence up ahead. You removed your jacket and as you both got close, you threw it up on the top of it to protect you. 

“Here I'll give-” Rudy’s voice was cut off as you charged at the fence and scaled it with expert ease. You dropped over to the other side and broke your fall with a roll. When you looked back you saw Rudy jump down with the bend of his knees. 

“Didn't expect that.” He chuckled and the pair of you started to run.

“I wouldn't be of much use in the CIA if a big wall could stop me.”

“Ah, that's where the Agent title comes from.”

“Mhmm, used to do your usual shit. Espionage, spying et cetera et cetera.” Rudy took the lead and you ran quickly behind him. 

“Why did you stop?” 

“It wasn't because I was bad if that's what you’re wondering.” You joked and gave him a weak smile to try and break the tension. “Originally I thought it was because I didn't like the field but after a while of being a desk jockey, I realized I missed it. I missed working with people. Real people not fucking bureaucracy day in and day out. Laswell's offer was a good one, despite its struggles it's a position I'm glad I accepted. Don't tell the boys but I think I wanted to quit being in the field because I was just lonely.”

“The life of a spy is not a pleasant one.”

You had worried your confession about your past would cast suspicion, that your spy past would paint you as perhaps a spy against again him but when Rudy looked back at you in the moonlight, you didn't find any concern. 

“Come on.” He smiled. “I know a safe house.”

-

Eventually, your chatter died down and as the pair of you jogged (for your sake) you couldn't help but play the previous forty-eight hours in front of your eyes. From the moment that Laswell spoke to you to that moment. Did she know you would end up in that situation when she had spoken to you that morning?

-

“How's your Spanish?” Laswell asked. 

“So-so. Good enough.” You answered. 

“Excellent, you're going with Soap and Ghost to Las Almas.”

“Mexico?”

“I'll be with Gaz and Price. They should be relatively well stocked there but I have to warn you. You will be in contact with a lot of vampire kind.”

“I will?”

“Los Vaqueros is what the team you will be meeting is called. Colonel Alejandro Varges is old blood. Very old.”

“Should I be on my best behaviour then?”

“He's a friend, you shouldn't have any worries about him or his mate, Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra. It's who else aside from them that is there that's important.”

“Who else?”

“Glad you asked.” The pair of you left the elevator and continued her fast pace. “You will be working with Shadow Company. Shepherd's favourite PMC. Commander Phillip Graves runs it-”

“Phillip Graves as in-”

“Yes, yes fill up graves.” She waved her hand. “He's new blood. Think about Soap's age. Graves turns a lot of his higher-ranking officers. It's amazing how he can have so many in line and I have to commend him for it. But it's still a lot of our kind in one spot.”

“I'll keep my eye out. Will I be in combat?”

“No, just your usual posting.” She paused. “I recommend against allowing the boys whatever Graves is feeding his team.”

“You don't trust Graves?”

“I don't trust most people. Alejandro is someone I do trust. Tensions may be high, he hides it well but he hates Americans.”

“Why bring Shadow Company at all?” You asked. 

“Shepherd was insistent on the support. He said it was to get around the red tape.” You could see there was something off about her eyes. She wasn't happy. Laswell abruptly stopped walking and turned to face you. “That's why I want you there. Look after them.” 

“Yes ma’am.”

-

As the conversation died from your thoughts you close your eyes. Your mind went back to the two men. Where were they? Were they safe? If Graves had orders on the base what was he doing in person? How would they react? How would Alejandro act? Was Ghost and Soap even still alive? Surely they wouldn't stand for what Grave was pulling. 

The thought of them gone plagued your mind, it pierced your heart and you swallowed briefly as you thought back to the last time you properly had seen them, not the brief moments you had when they brought in Valeria.

It had to be on the transport ride over. 

-

Admittedly you were a little late for the flight but the pilots were on orders not to leave without you. An operator in the cargo hold helped you on board and closed the bay behind you before he radioed to the pilot. 

You had changed out of your office ‘uniform’ into something far more practical. Despite being on base the entire time it wouldn't hurt to have a good pair of shoes on.

“Agent! Didn't realize you were tagging along.” Soaps hand slapped on your shoulder. One would think you would have become used to the boys appearing out of nowhere but no, your heart still jumped.

“Yeah, Laswell wants me to make sure you two don't get into any trouble.”

“What? Us? In trouble?” Soaps' voice was a tease. 

Ghost approached the pair of you. His massive stature loomed in a way that would have anyone shit the bed. Yet you stood there nonchalantly and looked him in the eye. 

“Ghost.”

“Agent.”

“Heard Alejandro is an old friend.”

“Right with that one. Old as they come. Has a good heart, not many men like him anymore.”

“Shadow Company?” You prompted. 

“Worked with them a few times, rich boys with a lot of toys. There's been a lot of discussion about creating a vampire army but he hasn't broken any law as far as we know.” Ghost leaned against the cargo next to you. 

“Hmm. Vargas will be supplying the pair of you. No taking anything from the Shadows.”

Soap cocked a brow. “That's an order.” Your face grew serious and the two vampires exchanged a look. It was very rare that you ever made an order. You could probably count on one hand how many times you could. 

“Understood.” Soap nodded and you allowed your body to relax. 

“Good. Now that's out of the way I'm off to take a nap. Wake me up when we get close.” 

It was dawn when you landed with the rest. Sleep was still on your mind but after a few moments you collected yourself. “Fuck me Agent I don't think I've ever seen you go to sleep that quickly.” Soap smiled, he had been the one to wake you. 

“It's been a long couple of days. I gotta get some sleep when I can.” You stretched. You picked up your bag and slung it over your shoulder before you followed Soap down to the cargo hold. 

“First time I've been to Mexico.” He admitted as the door started to open. 

“Well it's a lil hot but there's no yellow filters here.” 

His head glanced to the sky. “Ghosts going to hate it.”

“Talking about me are we Johnny?” Ghost appeared behind the pair of you with a scowl in his voice. 

“Just talkin’ ‘bout the weather sir.”

“Hmm.” Ghost glanced at the repair of you and continued down the ramp. 

“He's like this in Urzikstan too. Hot weather's got his knickers in a twist.” Soap winked. 

“SOAP.”

Soap made a demonstration to zip his lips and hurried after the man. At a leisurely pace, you followed them. 

“Ah Ghost, good to see you again!” A new voice came and you watched as the man gave him a half hug. 

“Alejandro.”

“Wish it could only be in better circumstances. This must be your mate.” Alejandro's eyes turned to Soap. 

“One of them.” Soap grinned. “Got the other-”

“Johnny!” Ghosts cut him off and Alejandro chuckled as you found your place behind them. Alejandro was quick to spot you and as his gaze lingered would couldn't help but almost shiver at it. Oh, he was a powerful man. There was an aura about him that had your heart race and your breath hitch. 

All the hair on your body stood up as he was the only person in the world. You were a minuscule atom compared to his large stature. He could crush you like an ant under his finger, he-

“You must be their handler.” Just like that, the feeling was gone, cleared by his warm and welcoming voice. “Laswell spoke well of you, it's a pleasure Agent-”

“Agent is fine.” You smiled and he nodded.

“I'll introduce you to our quartermaster in a moment. For now allow me to welcome you to Las Almas, my home.”

-

Alejandro had welcomed you in like family. He had allowed Graves and you all in. This is how he was repaid. Graves tuning in his and stealing his home. Reflection finished, you were glad you took a nap earlier. It allowed you to have energy as you continued to jog with Rudy in the middle of the night. 

Despite being in the middle of nowhere, Rudy slowed down to a stop. You cocked a brown when he turned to face you. 

“Take a break for a couple.”

“I'm fine, let's keep going.” 

Rudy looked like he wanted to argue but he nodded and the pair of you pressed onwards.

-

It has been at least an hour, possibly two hours before you reached what most would have described as an abandoned old shack. You weren't most. Rudy led you in safely but he didn't turn the lights on. He wandered further in and returned with two rifles. There was certainly more to the safehouse than met the eye.

His voice was quiet and gestured towards a ladder for you to climb. “If anyone else made it out they would come here. But stay on your guard.” 

Time ticked away and the pair of you spent it whispering to each other until he held his finger up to his lips. There was something he could hear that you couldn't. Rudy's finger flicked towards the window and you readied the pistol that had been strapped to your leg. 

A figure dropped down the window and you saw Rudy's laser hover over them. A knife flicked through the window as you heard his voice. 

“Ghost.” You spoke and his head snapped up to your location. They both did. 

Ghosts' shoulders slacked as you jumped down and Soap intercepted you with a hug. 

“Rudy.” Ghost's eyes found the other man's.

“Thank God you're okay.” Soaps' voices slurred in your ear and you pulled back a little. 

“Is he okay?” You asked Ghost and he shook his head once. 

“I'll be okay.” Soap muttered and pulled back. 

“He took a shotgun to the side, he will heal but it will take time.” Ghost turned his focus to Rudy. “Are there any packs here?”

“We have everything but that. You can't store them for long periods so we don't keep them in safe houses.” 

“I'll be fine.”

“Need you to be more than fine.” Ghost helped Soap over to the side. 

“I'm just happy our girl’s okay. Fuck when Graves said they had you…” His eyes went to Rudy's. “Pretty happy Rudy's okay too.”

Rudy chuckled and placed his hand on Soap's shoulder. “She's your mate. I know she's your first priority.” 

Your eyes locked on with Ghosts as the pair of you silently communicated. The wound was far worse than Soap was letting up. If Ghost was asking for a pack that meant Soap needed blood to heal up. 

Your eyes closed for a moment. One day you were going to really get sick of being everyone's blood bag. As Soap and Rudy spoke, you sat down next to Soap. His eyes landed on you as you offered him your wrist. 

“Come on, heal up.” 

“Are you sure?” Soap took your arm like you were made of glass. He rotated his body to face you directly. Your arm turned so that the back of it faced you and the underside of your wrist faced him. 

“I'll check the perimeter.” You heard Rudy speak but you didn't take your eyes off Soap. 

“This might hurt a little,” Soap warned a second before his mouth made contact with your wrist. A small cry left you as his two canines sunk into your skin. Unlike Ghosts, his teeth felt far larger. Half a second later Soap started to suck. His eyes closed and you swore he moaned into you. 

With a sudden push of power, Johnny pushed you onto your back by your wrist. He climbed onto you, his knees on the side of your thighs as he ground his hard cock against you. 

Your eyes grew wide in surprise and you heard Ghost's gruff voice. “Enough Johnny.” 

It took a couple of seconds but Soap pulled back with delight in his eyes. 

“Did you really get hard from-” Soap cut off your voice as his lips smashed against your own. The taste of your blood filled your senses. It was a metallic taste that died down as his tongue ravished your own. 

Your bloodied wrist hung over his shoulder while his hands started to feel up your body. His hands found your thighs, your ass, your breasts. Like a child in a candy store, he couldn't decide on what he wanted more. You tore your lips from his and gasped out for air but he didn't stop. Johnny placed west kisses next to your mouth and then trailed down to your neck. 

A sharp pain had you cry out once again and then Soap was gone. 

You blinked a couple of times to see Ghost with an unimpressed expression on his face. Your hand went to the side of your neck to feel a small amount of blood that had pooled in his bite. 

“I told you enough.” 

Soap had a blissful drugged-out look on his face as he grinned. 

“Mm got a little carried away. My bad.” 

Your eyes went to his side to see that his body had knitted itself back together like brand new. His raging hard-on was still rather predominant. 

“Johnny gets a little excited from real blood. Forgive him.” Ghost growled, his disapproval obvious.

“God, she tastes so good. Fuck Ghost-”

“I know. Control yourself.”

Soap blinked a couple of times and his head finally turned to look at Ghost. “You know?”

“Had a close call a while back. Was shot in the head, she nearly got herself killed.” Ghosts' eyes met yours.

“You never told me.” Soap sobered up a little. 

“Wasn't important. It was a while ago, back when she first started working with us.” Ghost let go of the cuff of Johnny's shirt and went to investigate the bites on your body. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“I'm okay, a little woozy but I'll be okay.”

“Good- we'll need you to get Alejandro back.”

-

You spent most of the planning phase seated. Despite being focused on the plan, everyone always kept an eye on you. There was a guilt that had formed in Soap's eyes. Reality had impacted him. Yet the matter went unaddressed. 

“You're sure you're okay to do this?” Soap asked as everyone geared up. 

“You didn't take that much, relax Johnny. I'm good as new.”

“I-”

“Really Soap, I wouldn't have offered it if I minded it.” You punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Come on, let's get everyone back.”

-

“It's kinda weird to see you all geared up.” Soap spoke as the group of you walked. 

“In a bad way?” You cocked a brow. 

“Nah. Makes you feel like you're part of the family.” He winked and you rolled your eyes. 

“It's a little heavier than what I'm used to but I'll adapt.”

“What are you used to?” Rudy asked. 

“Suits and light vests.” You looked down at the automatic rifle in your possession. “Pistols.”

“Stakes.” Ghost added and your eyes shot towards his direction. 

-

“You've been bit.” It was the first thing Price said directly to you as everyone settled back at the safe house. 

“Soap got peakish.”

“Soap?” He rubbed his beard. “‘Suppose it makes sense with your relationship and all. Surprised you lot had the time.” He nodded in thought. 

“Huh?”

Your confusion directed his attention onto you and he chuckled. “Been around that boy long enough to know what he's like with human blood. I don't think I have to talk to you of all people about being focused on the job, try to keep it in your pants-”

“-Soap was injured.” The words tumbled from your mouth in an instant. You were rather unaware of Soaps' reputation. 

“Ah.” Price reached into his jacket and pulled out a cigar before it slipped between his lips. “Of course.” 

He felt for his light but you were faster. Automatically you had pulled out your own and flicked it on. Price nodded to you and leaned over to light up the cigar. For a moment the pair of your eyes met and something unspeakable was said. 

Eventually, he spoke up once again. “Good to have you back safe, Agent.”

“Good to be in safe company, sir.”

“We’ll get Graves for this.”

“And Shepard?” 

“Shepard too. Go retire for the night, you deserve the rest.”

-

A yawn left your open mouth as you slogged back to your dorm. Now that your guard was down everything seemed to catch up and you could feel the exhaustion that had crawled into every inch of your body. 

The door which you opened wasn't to your own room but Ghosts. They had retired far earlier than you had. Two sets of eyes fell on you. Both of them were partially naked. Soap's shirt was missing and his pants were pushed down to his ankles. His face was buried into the pillow, only turned to the side to look at you. Soap’s ass was up in the air and Ghost's cum had coated it which gave it a slight shine as Ghost cleaned the man up. 

Ghost was also void of any shirt and while his belt was missing he still had pants on. Only his softening cock was pulled out and casually hung out of his pants. 

“Where have you been?” Soap practically whined out, his eyes licked up the sight of you and Ghost gave his ass a decent slap. The sound vibrated off the walls and mixed with the purr of a moan that left Soap's lips. 

“Talked to Gaz for a bit but also had to give both Laswell and Price a proper report on everything.” 

You rubbed your eye with the back of your hand and went to remove your jacket. Something changed in Soap's eyes and his eyes softened. He sat up from his position and fully removed the pants from his ankles. Soap grabbed a pair of boxers and slipped them on as you dressed down and found one of Ghost's shirts. 

“C’mere.” 

“Mmm don't let me disrupt you.” You yawned and lazily stripped from your clothes. 

“You're tired, come on.” Soap pulled you into his chest where he kissed the top of your head.  

“I'll be fine just-” Again you yanked but this time it cut off your sentence. Soap led you onto the bed where Ghost had changed up his position. No longer was his cock in view but tucked back into his briefs. 

“Your guys didn't have to stop on my account. I've slept through worse.” You found your spot in between the two men and Ghost gladly accepted you when your face snuggled up to his bare chest. 

Neither of them replied right away, instead Ghost wrapped an arm around you and pressed his lips to your head. The heat from Soap's body warmed your back as he buried his face against your neck, completely pressed flush against you. 

“Going to be in debt to Rudy for the rest of our lives,” Soap mumbled. 

“Hmm?” 

“He kept you safe.” Ghost clarified. 

“I like to think it was a joint effort. If the Shadows wanted to take us then they shouldn't have made such a racket.” 

Despite your voice being muffled by Ghost's chest both of the men could hear you rather clearly and you could feel Soap shake as he laughed. You turned your head so only half of your face was pressed against him. “Besides we got Alejandro back, right? I think that is sufficient enough payback.” 

“She's got a point LT.”

“Hmm.” Ghost looked down at you but didn't say a proper word. Instead, he tightened his grip on you. Soap’s hand found its way into yours and you gave it a small weak squeeze. Your eyes closed and your breath steaded, safe in your lover's arms.

[mrsnancywheeler]

ommggg i read let me down easy today and i kept re-reading it bc its TOO GOOD AHH !!🦅🦅

it hurt so much but im a whore for angst first, and a human second🫶

just thinking about the reader suffering in silence because she feels guilty for having any negative feelings towards finnick :(( the way she dismisses those feelings bc she thinks that whatever she’s going through is nothing compared to what he’s been through :((

also thinking abt finnick’s slow realization that she’s suffering because of him :(( like the incident at the market is when he began to notice the changes :(( and later when he fully understands how his behavior affected her IT MESSES HIM UP SO BAD

i just know he was remembering his past interactions with reader (where she breaks the glass / when she rejected his money at the pearl necklace stand) AND CRINGING …and it only gets worse when reader spills her guts about what she went through. omg ik he was sick.

another #thougjt i had was how this might mess up the reader for a bit after too #idk (that just might be me tho lmaoo) bc i feel like once you’ve been in that cycle of feeling depressed/insecure for so long it’s hard to snap out of, even with constant reassurance 😔

But maybe that’s just my angsty side talking HAHA

but i loved this fic, 11/10🫶

-🦅

omg yes, literally my favorite thing I've ever written. ik I wrote it, but it's the only thing of mine I reread bc it's like the perfect expression of how I feel, like if I could represent myself in one fic it would be that one if that makes any sense. it's like a concept that always haunts my mind no matter what I'm hyperfixating on maybe because I'm just like melancholy like that 🎀🎀🎀

but thank you so much, I'm literally so glad people are enjoying it because it literally is my own roman empire

yes she wants to be angry, she is angry, but refuses to let herself be because his issues are what she needs to prioritize. how can she be angry when he is constantly suffering? even if it's not so slowly tearing her apart, like a piece of paper sitting in water, she's trying to stay connected for the illusion of it all, to be strong for him.

her being loving isn't new to him, so he isn't thrown off by that, only slightly confused by her waking up earlier then usual. so her gifts have little bearing when he's used to it and he really doesn't want to feel loved right now because he's trying to reject whatever will make him seek comfort. when she starts changing her clothes and makeup, it's different, but he's not responsive because she's always been his pretty girl and always will be, her buying new clothes doesn't make him perceive her any differently or wonder if there's a reason, people try out new things.

when he notices how other peoples interactions with her have changed that's when he really starts to notice, if everyone else perceives her as melancholy then something has to be wrong. even if he's not quick to point the finger back to himself. he tries gifts, maybe she wouldn't buy something because she wanted him to do it, some sort of attention, but it's not big enough part of the issue to have any bearing on the effects it's now had on her. the girl rotting depression era shall we say. eventually through that, what people say to him, self-reflection he gains full consciousness of what he's been doing, how he's been hurting the person he loves so much. and the guilt is incomprehendable.

how could he be so selfish? so closed off as not to process all the clear cries for help? thinking about how he was getting annoyed, feeling like she was being moody when she insisted on doing the dishes until the dish broke. how she ran out into the ocean, in the rain without a care to regain some sense of composure, composure to try and make him happy. then the necklace thing, how could he miss her clearly trying just to be with him, be near him, have the interactions with him that he was giving to the girl at the shop instead? he was so unresponsive to the emotional needs he just assumed it to be a material need that he was willing to give. so when she rejects the money it just doesn't compute, to buy it she needs it, and then she tries to send the message that buying something isn't what she's asking for but he misses it completely. he gets snappy and it snaps her.

so when he's finally talking to her, he needs her to tell him the truth, the nuances because he's been so blind to all of it. he needs to know how he hurt her and it really is like a full wake up call. he can't let his own trauma consume him, allowing it to traumatize her in different ways. like when she mentions her getting to the point of just wanting him to want her body if he wouldn't want her because that's how people perceive him, that's what was hurting him, but he inadvertently made her feel that way. it breaks him to think that he did that to her, that he hurt his girl that way. then the idea that she would have let him cheat on her, she would've picked being with him over her own well-being, well she did, and he doesn't deserve that. he can't fathom how he could be with someone who loves him so blindly as to choose being with a ghost of him over not having him at all, when she deserves so much better. when he has been so callous with such a precious kind of love. or the fact that he even made it seem like he had interest in anyone but her.

there will be a fluffy, smutty requested sequel but readers issues afterwards will be lightly touched upon in it. but yes, she would have to spend so much time mending her relationship with herself afterwards. he's totally on hand and knee trying to make it up to her, to prove how much he loves and needs her, to give the attention she deserves. but she's still paranoid about cheating, insecure, scared, even if she tries to mask it. but he knows. he could, and does, spend hours praising her, telling her how pretty she is, how she's the only one, how sorry he is, how much he adores her, but it doesn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head. she tries to hide it but she's clingier and he's okay with that, she needs him more.

but yes there's lots of long term effects the incident has on there relationship. and they have to try and navigate that together.

thank you pookie, I love your thoughts sm 💋💋💋💋💋💋

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 9 - I could get used to this.

Summary: Y/N and Shouta gets outed in front of the whole gang. Katsuki and Megumi looks way too comfortable around each other. The last day is approaching, but the mood is too good to ruin it with negative thoughts. Megumi tells the gang about her past.

IMPORTANT: I know I said this will be the last chapter but it is NOT. The story ends with chapter 10, I wrote too much again 😂😂😂

Warnings: Suggestive, swear words, mentions of child abuse and neglect.

FIRST CHAPTER MASTER LIST

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The next morning you wake up with Shouta’s arms around you; everyone is asleep in the room, tiny little noises filling the space as the two men sleeps deeply, content and safe. You smile to yourself for a second; when you were a kid you’ve never had the chance to have sleepovers so this kinda feels like you are finally able to feel the joy of it, at the humble age of 29. Present Mic sleeps in his sleeping bag, absolutely ignoring your shuffling; you can’t say the same about the grumpy hero next to you who starts to frown just as you try to move out of his warm embrace. Oh, did you forget to tell the audience that Shouta is a terrible sleeper? Well… Shouta is literally like a cat. He wakes up to everything. Cuddling with him is actually an absolute nightmare because every time you move your arms to get comfortable you wake him up by accident. He tries to fake it, bless his little ass; he continues to look asleep but the sudden change in the way he’s breathing makes it obvious that you ruined his sleep with that one, minuscule movement. Now it makes sense why is the guy always sleeping in the classroom.

“Where are you going?” Shouta mumbles, like you are just about to leave the country without him.

“I’ll start working on breakfast. You sleep some more, yeah?” You whisper into his ears, your hands caressing his head soothingly.

“You don’t need to whisper, Mic can’t hear too well and he’s a heavy sleeper. You could scream into his ears and he wouldn’t wake up.” Shouta mumbles while his arms snake around you again cheekily.

“I kinda want to try that.” You giggle, your eyes focusing on the snoring blonde on the floor.

“Don’t. You’ll freak out the kids.” He murmurs but you can’t miss the little smile on his face. “I’ll come out in a few minutes, try not to burn the house down.”

“Excuse me?” You giggle with a surprised look on your face.

“Sorry, autopilot. When Hitoshi tries to do breakfast he usually ends up burning something.” Shouta says fondly as he lets you go. You would like to say “finally” but that would be a lie. You really want to stay here and enjoy his warmth for longer, but no one wants to take care of a bunch of hungry, sleep-deprived kids.

“I’ll let you off this time.” You murmur into his mouth, leaving a wet kiss on his lips as you stand up from the bed. He grumbles a bit more before he finally finds the perfect position to sleep for a few more minutes.

When you arrive in the kitchen/living room area you are surprised to see an almost empty room; the kids are outside on the beach already, Eri is probably still sleeping in her room and the only two people in the kitchen are Bakugou and Megumi, both reading a book next each other in complete silence. Bakugou is rocking his reading glasses, completely comfortable with Megumi being in the room with him. Whoever said Bakugou is an aggressive person is an absolute idiot. The boy might be loud, but right here, right now, he is the chillest fucking dude on the face of earth.

“What are you two up to? It’s barely eight.” You smile at the two kids. Katsuki jumps up at the sudden noise, looking at you with pure fright in his eyes. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” You say, feeling guilty for scaring the poor boy.

“Nah, it’s all good. My therapist says I have PTSD or some shit, plus my hearing isn’t the best so I tend to miss people sneaking up on me when I’m not wearing my hearing aids.

“Wait, you wear hearing aids?” Megumi looks up, utterly surprised.

“It’s a part of my hero uniform, yeah.” Katsuki says like he’s talking about the weather. No biggie. Now that you look at the blonde up close, the poor boy has so many scars on his arms and on his face, it’s kinda heartbreaking. “I only use it while I fight and when I’m out alone.”

You are not sure what to say to that and neither does Megumi so you just give him a nod and move towards the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. You put the cups down in front of the two bookworms. Katsuki murmurs an almost silent “thanks” and takes a big gulp of the freshly made coffee then spits the whole thing out when Aizawa snakes his arms around you from behind and leaves a tiny kiss on your temple, still half asleep. Megumi can’t stop giggling as he offers a tissue to the pink faced boy, who’s still choking.

“I know, right?” Megumi mutters between to fits of giggles.

“So you knew about this?” Katsuki ignores the both of you for the sake of Megumi.

“Bro, I made this happen.” Megumi answers proudly.

“That’s… really nice of you?” The blonde… asks? Says? “You’re quite mature for your age.”

“I’m STILL only a year younger than you.” Megumi rolls her eyes but takes the compliment. “I haven’t been through a war the way you did but I had my own battles when I was young.” She smiles and for everyone surprise, Katsuki smiles back. Or does something like that. Calling it a smile is an overstatement.

“Okay, can you guys go back to reading your stupid manga and act like normal teenagers before I start bawling like a new born child?” You grumble under your nose with eyes full of unshed tears.

“Get used to it, Y/N.” Shouta says and pulls you towards the kitchen. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

“Why is she so sensitive.” The blonde murmurs under his nose but does his best to look busy with his manga again while your daughter stares at him with zero shame. Honestly. You two are like two peas in a pod; if you want something, you work your ass off for it, even if it hurts. It’s not the best family trait, but with the right people it’s certainly useful. Hopefully, you won’t need to tend Megumi’s broken heart in the near future because swear to fucking god, you are not an aggressive person but you’ll make sure this explodo-boy has no willy to make kids with if that ever happens. Katsuki looks up after feeling your sudden death stare on him and sighs; for some reason, his face scrunched up like he’s in pain when he looks at Megumi after that.

“Don’t do that. He gets enough shit from the media already.” Shouta reprimands and you mumble a little sorry as you crack a few eggs into a bowl. “I’ll be out for a while today, I need to sort out some things.”

“Can it not wait?” You look up at him with your best puppy eyes but Shouta only sighs.

“No, it can’t. I want to take care of these things before we go home. It will only take a couple of hours. I’ll be back for dinner.” Shouta leaves a tiny kiss on your forehead and all the fight leaves you right away.

“If you are even five minutes late, you’ll sleep on the floor next to Mic tonight.” You retort jokingly.

“You’ll be a terrible wife.” Shouta rolls his eyes and needless to say your whole face flushes from his words. It takes him a few seconds to realize his own mistake but it doesn’t take him long to become a stuttering mess; funnily enough, while his whole face resembles a tomato his facial expression is still just as deadpan as always. “… I mean, you don’t need to be… my wife I mean. If you don’t want to, that is. It was a joke. Yeah. I’m gonna go so I’m not late.” Shouta takes a plain toast from the counter and puts it in his mouth as he jogs towards your room to change.

“At least put some butter on it!” You yell after him, giggling like a schoolgirl but you let him do his own thing for now; you haven’t even had a conversation about being in a relationship yet here he is, the guy you thought you have no chance with, thinking about you as a wife. Life is so fucking good right now, goddamnit!

“Mom, you are being disgusting, stop that.” Megumi retorts with a cheeky smile on her pretty little face.

“Shut up and keep staring at your cute little crush in his nerdy little glasses.” You wink and needless to say, you won the round with that; Katsuki almost chokes on his own saliva, Megumi yelps so loudly Kirishima runs in from outside, thinking someone is dying and you can’t help but laugh like an absolute madman while the eggs get burnt on the stove.

If this is how the rest of your life is going to be, you are absolutely thrilled for the future.

~•💜•~

“Tadaima!” A grumpy Shouta comes in through the main door, his prosthetic leg thrown to the side like it personally offended Shouta’s mother on the way home.

“It’s almost 8.” You pout, stepping closer and closer to your loved one to help him get to the sofa, even though you are supposed to be really angry right now.

Well, not really, you have no rights to be offended just because he left you with the kids for the whole day, most of them are almost adults anyway, but you are definitely not a big fan of the fact that he didn’t even send a message about being so late.

“Sorry, I had a long call from the principal. Apparently, he started a new fur-care routine and it’s magical and I need to know everything about it.” He sighs, his arms snaking around your waist automatically. “Where are the others?” Shouta looks around with his chin on your shoulders; his hair tickles your neck in a really pleasant way. Damn, everything this man does just makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel while surrounded with a class worth of children.

“They are playing a board game in the room. I stayed behind to clean up after dinner.” You answer, silently hoping that Shouta takes it as an invitation to… well… enjoy each other’s company…?

“Hmm… I missed you.” Shouta moves his head so he can leave a tiny kiss on your neck, then another and another. You sigh heavily as he keeps peppering kisses all over until he reaches your lips; it starts with a small kiss first but it doesn’t take too long for you two to forget about your surroundings; the kiss gets heavy and wet and you are not sure if Shouta’s clinging to you for balance or for something else.

“I can feel it.” You snicker between two deep kisses, your fingers deep in Shouta’s hair.

“Wait until I get my hands on you in the bedroom when no one’s around.” He murmurs to your lips while his hands wonder under your shirt; the touch is warm and needy, hands grabbing your sides possessively as he pulls you impossibly closer.

“Jesus, stop.” You literally moan while you pull on the hero’s hair without realizing it. Shouta’s barely audible moan doesn’t help the situation.

“Fuck.” Shouta yelps, teeth biting, hands wondering; he’s completely lost in the moment, not even stressed about the fact that anyone can barge in to the living room and see this.

“Language.” You smirk while you lead him towards your bedroom, which is quite a hard task when there’s a man with half a leg missing clinging to you like a koala. Your back hits the wall with a loud thud, right by your bedroom door; mistake of the century as all the kids run out of the other room, ready to fight with whoever made the noise. There is a scream coming from Mina’s direction, Kaminari yells “yes!” like he’s the one being kissed, Hitoshi tries his best to hide the massive grin on his face, Kirishima and Sero stares with a pale face while Bakugou covers Megumi’s eyes jokingly, saying she’s too young for this. Thankfully, by the time little poor Eri comes out the room, declaring the hallway safe and villain-free, you two manage to jump off each other, both of your faces red as a ripe tomato.

This… is not how you wanted to let them know you two are a thing but… oh, well.

“Sorry, I tried to tell them there is no danger.” Present Mic mutters but he’s also incapable of hiding the shit eating grin on his face.

“Dad, why are you hurting Y/N? Stop it! Bad dad! Really bad!” Eri yells as loud as she can; the poor little girl tried her best to sound confident but her voice managed to waver by the end of her sentence. Oh, she’s so precious.

“They weren’t fighting, Eri. They were… uhm… kissing.” Katsuki pulls Eri to his side; it doesn’t take long for her to hide her face in Katsuki’s belly, tension leaving her tiny shoulders from the human contact.

“But the noise…” Eri mutters into Katsuki’s shirt.

“They just stumbled and she bumped into the wall, honey. It happens.” Hitoshi ruffles Eri’s hair.

“I want to stumble and bump into the wall too.” Kaminari says way too loudly; he slaps his hand on his mouth right away. Hitoshi’s face is the same color as yours now. Hah.

“So Y/N is still going to be my mom?” Eri looks at Hitoshi with hopeful eyes.

Nevermind, your face is probably way more red than Hitoshi’s now. The boy looks up at his father with a questioning look and Shouta only nods; Hitoshi whispers something into the little girl’s ears and she perks up right away.

“It’s a secret though!” Hitoshi adds with a wink; Kaminari looks like he’s not even in the room anymore by the way he’s gawking at the purple haired boy after he finished talking. Hitoshi catches him in the middle of the act and winks at him with a shit eating grin on his face; Kaminari’s soul leaves his body and the boy falls on the floor with a loud thud.

“Did he really just faint?” Mina mutters while the attention goes from you two to the boy laying on the floor.

“He’s such a himbo.” Katsuki rolls his eyes but Megumi uses this opportunity to stand right in front of the blonde boy to wink at him seductively. Katsuki’s face almost catches on fire. There is a sound of explosions coming towards the boy’s clenched fists.

You two decide to use this time to sneak inside your room; you both start laughing as the door closes behind you.

“I don’t know what you think, but it was hundred percent worth it for that show.” You giggle to yourself, your face hidden in Shouta’s neck.

“Absolutely.”

~•🩶•~

“So how did Y/N end up to be your mom, Megumi?” Kirishima asks at the dinner table. Shouta tenses next to you, but only for a second; the reassuring hand on his thigh is enough for him to know you are more than okay with the conversation.

“Well, it’s not the nicest story, but I’m more than happy to share if Ma is okay with it.” Megumi looks up at you. You nod, but you do put your chopsticks down, because there is no way you can eat while she tells the story. “My blood parents were always busy.” Megumi starts up. “I’m probably not mature enough to completely understand what was going on in their heads when they had me but if I can tell you my opinion they… weren’t ready for a child. They probably never will be. Their whole life revolved around their jobs and when they had a tiny bit of spare time they preferred to party it away. I’m quite sure I was a mistake…”

“Megumi…” you retort right away, jumping into the middle of her sentence. “I told you not to say that. The fact that my sister is the shittiest mother the world has ever seen has nothing to do with you.” Your words sound a bit harsher than you expected them to be but hopefully, she gets what you are trying to say.

“I was an accident yet my parents still managed to get their shit together and be happy for me, even if it took them a few years.” Katsuki says nonchalantly. Megumi gawks at the blonde next to her. The boy shrugs, mumbling “no big deal.” Under his nose and looks at Megumi with eyes that tells her to continue the story. Megumi takes a deep breath and does just that.

“After my parents decided they can’t give up on their free time for their child they asked Y/N to take care of me while they are out. First, it was once every two weeks, then every week, then when I was around 4, it was almost every day. There were weeks when I didn’t even see them at all.” Megumi takes another deep breath. “The time went past and things got even worse. My mom couldn’t bear seeing me cry, but I was so lonely and sad, so confused by the whole thing… it all started with one slap then it continued until they came home drunk one day and she tried to hurt me right in front of Y/N.” Megumi looks up at you with nothing but gratitude in her eyes. “ She yelled at them then put all my stuff - I barely had any by the way - in one bag and left with me. They didn’t say a word about it and didn’t even ask if I’m alive…”

“Fucking shitbags.” Katsuki retorts with a face full of fury.

“Y/N took me in and didn’t even ask for any money first, down right refused to take a single penny from my parents but we struggled so much she eventually had to. Hence why I still need to talk to them when they call me just to tell me how happy they are that I’m gone.“

“Not for long.” Shouta mutters, looking right into Megumi’s eyes. You can’t help but nod; you are so close to be able to get those papers done. A few more months, maybe a year… “I had a meeting with some people who work in this area today. This case is easier than I expected. We will talk about this later. Let’s enjoy our last two days here then we can do all the paperwork when we get home. I asked a friend of mine to take your case, he’ll get you out of this by the end of the summer break.”

“Shouta, I appreciate your help but don’t give her so much hope. I don’t have enough money to guarantee I can take care of her which is stupid because I’ve been able to for the past few years now but the law is the law…” You retort a bit angrily; Megumi looks down at her feet, heartbroken. Fuck.

“I’m aware of the law and I still stand by my opinion. I wouldn’t say it if I wouldn’t be so sure.” Shouta answers with a straight, confident look. The sound of a sniffle hits your ears; Kirishima leans on Bakugou’s shoulder to hide his face there and for everyone’s surprise, the explosive blonde lets him.

“That’s so manly, goddamit. Both of you. I want to be your friend, Megumi!”

“I don’t want any of your saliva on my shirt this time, fucker.” Bakugou grumbles but he snakes his fingers into Kirishima’s un-gelled hair to soothe him. Hitoshi looks at the two boys, his hands twitching on the table; Katsuki gives him a silent nod and Hitoshi reaches out to pet Kirishima’s back. He looks like a frightened animal, bless him. Kirishima looks up at that and starts crying again.

“Toshi! You touched me! Willingly! Oh my god!”

This really must be a big thing because Shouta can’t even fake nonchalance as he gawks at his boy.

“Toshi has a hard time with affection. We couldn’t even touch him when he moved in first. Eri and Denki helped a lot with that but him reaching out for anyone else but them is a first.” Shouta mumbles to you.

“Gimme a hug you whiny stack of meat.” Hitoshi gives Kirishima an unattractive grin and it doesn’t take long to the redhead to barge into Hitoshi’s personal space to give him the tightest hug in the century. “Jesus, you are suffocating me.”

“Toshiiiii! I’m so proud of you.” Kirishima wails dramatically. Honestly, this friend group is ridiculous.

“I want a hug too!” Kaminari whines, but the gang only rolls their eyes at that.

“You are the only person who gets to hug him on a normal day, shut the fuck up and let them have their moment.” Sero reprimands. The amount of drama should be overwhelming; the room is loud and busy but somehow, it’s more soothing than annoying.

“I could get used to this, you know.” You mumble under your nose to no one in particular.

“We can come over sometimes.” Katsuki mutters with a red face. Even though he’s technically answering you he looks at Megumi instead; she smiles and nods happily at the blonde, completely over the moon.

Yeah… you could definitely get used to this.

“You’re welcome anytime. Thank you.” You smile at the boy and you can only hope he can feel that he has your blessing if he wants to approach your daughter. By the adorable blush on his frowning face, he did get the message, loud and clear.

Someone giggles right by your side; you look up at Shouta, who tries to cover his lips so no one can see him giggling like a school boy but he doesn’t do it quick enough; the teens gawk at him like this is the first time Aizawa did something so human and to be fair, it probably is.

“Tell anyone and you are all dead meat.” Aizawa snickers and while his grin isn’t the most attractive thing in the world, you still can’t help but be completely infatuated by it.

“I want someone to look at me the way Y/N looks at Sensei.” Kaminari mutters to himself.

“I don’t think my face is capable of such a thing.” Hitoshi mumbles under his nose.

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I love you guys so fucking much.” You grin at the gang.

“Language.” The answer comes, yelled in unison and the whole table starts laughing like maniacs.

Life is good. So fucking good.

I know… “language”, but fuck that right now.

… Last Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- I know, it has been 9999 years. Life got in the way, what can I say. I hope this long ass chapter helps with the pain! 😂💜

- So okay, here’s my Aizawa theory; Aizawa is a terrible sleeper but usually gets so tired after a restless night, he ends up being able to sleep in class anyway. Thank you for listening.

- I feel like Present Mic definitely has an issue with his hearing thanks to his quirk. I don’t think he’s actually deaf as there is probably some kind of protection in his ears to prevent the loss of hearing but he’s probably not the best hearing hero in the world. Katsuki also must have some issues for the same reason. He also has a lot of face-to-face fights and even a small accident can make the poor boy deaf, so.. yeah.

- Can we talk about how fucked up all these kids are? Because I want to give them all a hug. They are so broken but they still have enough strength in them to smile and do silly teeny things and I really respect that.

- I hope the next chapter won’t take as long but my life is still a mess so please be patient with me. I’m also working overtime during the Christmas period to get some money for cheeky figurines. Like this one I bought in London. Look at him. He’s perfect 😭

Likes, comments and reblogs are more than appreciated 💜

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