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puellafuriadarkmagica · 6 months ago

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Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A Tree in the Storm Like the Breath of a Child

I remember this title is from something by the Bee Gees, but honestly I don't care about them enough to remind myself which track it actually is. My very own father attests that the Bee Gees are the greatest disco band of all time, and frankly, I think he's nuts for it.

"Beauty endures only for as long as it can be seen; / Goodness, beautiful today, will remain so tomorrow." - Sappho of Lesbos

This was about Thalia, obviously, but now I'm not even sure if I'd call her strictly "good" either. If I had to sum up where she's at in a word, it would probably be more like "bewildered".

I'm getting into reading the chapter proper now, and it feels a little strange to do so. I want to stress that I consider chapters 1-3 one "episode" of PFDM, if you will, so to do this days apart from when I read the first two feels quite unlike the intended experience. Yes, I released it weeks after chapters 1 and 2 in real time as well, but that's because (as I hope is obvious by now) PFDM really has a target audience of one, and that one is me. Your collective experience doesn't matter to me at all, and in fact, doesn't exist.

That's the sickest twist of all! PFDM is stored entirely on my computer! I never at any point actually published any of this, and you're all just vividly dreaming up what I would have posted. Your dream sucks, by the way. You think that's the best I could write? I promise you, the real PFDM, which you will never see, is actually much better.

wait where was i going with this

Right, so chapters 1-3 are one whole sort of thingy to me, and I actually wrote all three simultaneously. I would have roped chapter 4 into the mix, but this was the best I could do before New Year's/ In a sense, this was the pilot. So I really had to refine the tone and style. I think I missed on some of the finer details, but there were a lot of jokes these chapters had originally that ended up cut because I didn't think they really felt like PFDM, you know?

Thalia winced beneath the hood of her jacket as yet another firework let out a deafening flash too directly overhead for her liking. She wasn't the type to fit in.

Completely forgot how long I kept her physical appearance under wraps for. Not long in the grand scheme of things, mind you, but back when the chapter count was still knocking single digits it felt like an eternity. I guess you had to be there. Now every chapter individually feels pretty minor, all things being what they are. Well, in hindsight. When it comes to forthcoming chapters I'm kind of raving madly at how to arrange them, especially since part 3 is nearly [REDACTED] of the way done, and there are only [REDACTED] chapters left after that!

Thalia shivered when she locked eyes (or eye, in her own case) with the girl who had just tapped her shoulder.

I've gradually come to imagine Hope as a fair way shorter than I originally did, which makes this more difficult to imagine. Is Thalia slouching? Are they going down some stairs? Is Hope actually tall? I don't know. Send your answers to 4 Mianga Avenue, Engadine, New South Wales, C/O puellafuriadarkmagica.tumblr.com.

The Incubator took this as an opportunity to butt in with an explanation. "Phoebe stepped in to stop two enemy magical girls from killing each other. She wanted them to understand each other's point of view. To make a long story short, all three girls share the same body, gem, and for the sake of convenience, name now." "…Wow. What's that like?" Phoebe laughed. "I suppose it depends on which one of me you ask!"

So I'm pretty sure I plural-coded a character here without actually intending to do that, understanding that this was what I was doing, or being aware of the ramifications of doing so. If she comes across as pretty two-dimensional rep for that, I apologise. That straight-up wasn't even my plan.

"It's cool, it's so cool you could hold it on a swollen eye and numb it,"

This line I can mark up to the fact that I think I was showing my partner Hitchhiker's at the time, and it ended up coming out like one of Zaphod's chronically uncool quips. That's probably good, actually. I don't think Phoebe is very cool very often.

I also want to point out that the name Deckard is an obvious hat-tip to Do Androids Dream and Blade Runner. The Attendants all calling each other by last name but the citadel residents being on a first name basis is also very Blade Runner-y, but I don't remember the book well enough to be able to say that they do that in there too.

Though it was growing late and he found himself accosted by the looming inevitability of sleep, Bill stayed as awake as he could. He was an artist, as it happened, and though she couldn't muster a single cent, the attentive looming of his biggest fan spurred him on to make manifest the visual abstractions of his thoughts and feelings he had set out to make. This, he believed, was his duty as an artist. This was his raison d'être, and even if he was only doing it for a penniless, quiet teenage girl with a tattered coat and a face only a mother who was looking at something else could love, then he was doing it nonetheless!

No joke, Bill Campbell was introduced here because I originally planned for him to have a part in a climactic moment in part 4. I've since decided that that's pretty fucking stupid. He might be another one-off character, I'm afraid.

Unbeknownst to Bill, this was the second time a complete stranger had shouted this at his sole fan in the last twenty minutes, and the second time that stranger had been a magical girl. It was, perhaps, just as well that he didn't know, because learning this would have had no bearing on his life whatsoever and completely wasted his time.

Where did the early-game jokes like this go? I kind of miss them. They don't feel like they're around so often anymore. Maybe they are and I just don't notice.

"Her?" He spluttered. "She wouldn't hurt a fly!" "I'd be impressed if she could, though." "How's that?" "Insects don't feel pain, sir."

Genuine contender for a top ten spot in a list of PFDM jokes, I think.

I don't think Phoebe's transformation sequence is very strong, because I hadn't got my bearings yet. I'm glad if anyone got the dud one, it was her.

Thalia crept out from behind a concrete pillar. She wished she knew some curses so that she could whisper them to herself. She had been hunting the collector witch, and along came these happy-go-lucky hotshots and claimed the battle for themselves? How despicable.

Once all this is over, I might post all the witch names and titles somewhere. They probably won't all fit in the story (the important ones still have so far, and will continue to, however).

I've said it before, but the labyrinth sequences are based on the mid- and late-career works of the playwright Sarah Kane. Those are definitely worth a read if you've got the fortitude for them, but they get heavy like nothing else I've seen. Particularly 4:48, for reasons which I hope are obvious.

Now that I think about it, I guess I can't let that one sequence from Evangelion episode 22 not crack a mention. Best episode of the show, quite frankly. One of my beta readers is going to very very strongly disagree with me for this, but it's better than End of Evangelion. But what would they know? They're not writing PFDM.

Crucial addendum: I am being tormented.

A smile on her face and the usual dose of nightmare fuel in her mind, Marie turned and left at what happened to be precisely 11:59:50 P.M.

This sequence is a bit cliché, but it's still a personal favourite of mine. It was really meant to be one big sign off to this kinda-sorta pilot, and I wanted that to be a grand cross-section of where PFDM has the potential to go. I hope it works?

Ruth sat forward in her armchair, as if sheer force of will could clear the picture quality on her television. She cast her mind back to this day twenty-two years prior, before Sarah had wound up in that fight that left her in her current state. Before Graham - the right proper piece of shit - had announced that he couldn't love his own daughter anymore and run away. For sixteen years, New Year's Day had cemented itself in her mind as a family occasion, and it had never quite stopped feeling that way. Then again, her daughter sitting silently by her side had always been the only family she ever needed.

Take for instance our first look at Ruth here. You get next to nothing about her, and were it not for the narration's mention of her in chapter 2, you might be forgiven for thinking she has nothing to do with the rest of this story. But I've established that (very tenuous) link already, so it should be pretty obvious that all of these are interconnected. Again, I don't know how effective this actually is, because I already know everything that's going to happen. But I remember being pretty shitting pleased with myself at the time, and I pretty much still am.

Lara stood up the back of the crowd by the Harbour Bridge, still grinning with relief. The countdown had been timed perfectly. Her sister had just asked her why the back of the jacket had said what it did, and she was mortified by the possibility - the All-Permeating Abyss in all its infinite dark majesty forbid! - that she would have had to provide an answer! Life wasn't about answers, in her opinion. Life was about a black leather jacket with "Do Not Resuscitate" stitched on the back. Life was also all about flirting with Madeleine, she supposed, but at least Sisyphus took breaks to let his boulder roll down the hill. She could wait.

I'm really rapid-firing these nods to characters you haven't met yet, and there's so much for you to chew on. You already get mentions of Lara's thoughts falling to Sinead Macquarie and Madeleine Whitman, without - and this is crucial - ever once exposing the fact that Lara is the Macquarie that Marie was thinking about in chapter 1. Then I go ahead and name drop the Abyss for funsies. I'm on a roll here.

Hours later, on the other side of the world, Margaret leaned back in her diner chair whose creak in response suggested that it was the elder of the two. The look on the face of the girl across from her said she would really rather be anywhere else, but if she had any intention of speaking as much aloud, it was cancelled out by her embarrassment at the absurdity of her situation. Besides, the two of them had a very important job in the days ahead, and work only became more pressing in the festive season. "You could at least get your feet off the table," she telepathized. Margaret pretended not to hear.

I don't think anyone picked up on the fact that this scene probably takes place in the United States as given by the fact that it uses American spelling rules, but it was there. Wait maybe Americans say "canceled"? I don't understand how they treat double Ls.

Wai-Fong braced herself a mere fraction of a second before she burst shoulder-first through the seventh-storey window and hurtled toward the street below in a shower of glass and blood (mostly not even hers!). Time slowed in freefall, and a jet of flame from the explosion spewed forth from her impromptu escape, very narrowly missing her head. As she turned to look, three enormous, bony arms clawed their way out of the building's exit wound. She winced. No doubt the witch that used to be the girl she was just fighting. As she readied her weapon, she felt a small degree miffed at forgetting until now that she said she would be studying for her finals tonight.

And back to British spelling rules! Plus a character with a Cantonese name. I really don't think guessing where this one was set was anything resembling a challenge. Also Wai-Fong was a character I really didn't have any direction for at this stage: I kind of winged her early chapters. Which honestly surprised me, because now she is, in my opinion, one of the characters with the biggest personality in the story.

Hüriye's eyes snapped open. She stumbled backward into her turntables and stopped them silent. Instantly, all eyes in the room were upon her. She grinned. Her mind swam with the infinite possibilities self-realization brought. She knew the way to a joyous and fulfilling life. She loved herself, and she knew that the corner of the universe she called a self loved her back. She knew that when she woke up tomorrow, it would be to the first dawn on a perfect life, one where she could- Huh? Oh, shit. The music.

I think Hüriye's pronouns here versus in the rest of the story serve as a pretty big hint for what their realisation might have entailed before they outright say it soon after their proper introduction. Honestly, if I were you and I hadn't figured this out, I'd be kicking myself a little. Just saying. Not even to be rude or anything, I'm just saying.

The youngest daughter of an eons-ancient force of destruction stirred from her sleep, woken by the counting down of the humans ignorant enough to believe themselves her parents. For a moment, she thought she saw a shadow by her doorway - poised like a cat, but with longer ears and a bigger tail - but when she rubbed her eyes and blinked, it was gone. She was hungry. Hungry in a way she didn't know other people weren't. She didn't understand what the urge really meant she wanted. This feeling was normal to her, but she had never quite satisfied it, and she assumed it was something that would come and go as a standard part of growing up. In a sense, it was. Every child on the path to becoming a teenager wanted to destroy the universe. What made her so special was that she could actually pull it off.

Now you're probably wondering, "Hey, DARKMAGIC313, why are we seeing this kid whose relevance still hasn't come into play, and not a character I actually care about, like Adia Musyoki?" Well, first of all, that's not my real name, but it would be sick as hell if it was (were?). Second, patience. You'll like this kid, I promise. Third, as I hope is obvious by now BUT IF IT ISN'T DON'T READ THIS BIT, STOP READING THIS PARAGRAPH AND SKIP AHEAD TO THE NEXT ONE, countdown numbers six through three are all showcasing a tangentially relevant character introduced in parts one through four respectively. And fourth, and perhaps most embarrassingly, I hadn't come up with Adia at the time. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. This is a self-parodying, over-the-top political thriller, and I didn't even plan for it to have a hacker character from the very beginning. Shame on mother fucking me.

Beyond the limits of the universe as all of the above understand it, untouched by the white lies called time and space, a brilliant deity draped in a flowing black cloak writes by the deep blue light of her soul gem. Her words are inert as she pens them, but their meaning is alive and dynamic, shifting into the shape of a cosmos. This cosmos, too, is filled with life where she wills it - or does it will her to write? Which one informs the other? - life which understands itself through the words she builds them from. She is the speaker-god, and her words and the universe are one and the same. And she's mighty humble, too.

I do like how quickly we dropped the title of speaker-god. I've been doing a lot of this thing where the narration strips a character of their titles when it becomes apparent that they're undeserved. Maybe I'm not doing that as much as I think I am, actually. I can't think of any other example except for the bit in the most recent chapter where the narration takes to calling Whitman "Madeleine" when Marie starts humiliating her. Still, even if that's only two points of data, that's something.

PART 1: UNTIL THE DARK

The part names are also lyrical quotations, and in fact, all are connected to the titles of their first chapters - part 1 shares an artist, part 2 an album, and part 3 an actual song. The logical conclusion is that part 4 would be exactly the same as the title of the first chapter in it, but for some reason I'm a little doubtful I want to do that. I have a much better name for it in my head anyway. Maybe even a few much better names.

PRETTY OBLIQUE SPOILER ALERT: I also want to point out something I deliberately kept hidden in my part retrospectives - PFDM actually draws a lot of parallels to Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon (for more or less the same reason PMMM proper draws a lot of parallels to Goethe's Faust - it's pretty emblematic of an entire artistic movement whose vibes PMMM is jacking). The first that I make apparent (to my recollection, anyway - I may have missed something) is the part titles loosely paralleling those of Gravity's Rainbow. Until the Dark : Beyond the Zero The Champs-Élysées is a Busy Street : Une Perm au Casino Hermann Goering (really naming a location in French is the only connection here, but I only had so much to work with to keep the part title-chapter title connection working. I did say the connections were loose.) A World of Twenty Thousand Girls : In the Zone (this one pretty much only makes sense on top of how otherworldly Gravity's Rainbow's Zone actually actually is.) I feel like me telling you all this is maybe a pretty hefty giveaway about the trajectory of certain narrative threads and framing devices, but I don't know how much you guys actually investigate this kind of thing. Maybe I can say all this and get away with it just fine. Maybe I was overly cautious in neglecting to point any of this out in the part writeups, and/or maybe where this plot differentiates from that one is enough to keep you thrown off the tail, and/or(!) maybe even if I give you this hint, theorising about where I'm taking things will be no less, or maybe even more rewarding! Again, the curse of actually writing this is I have no way of knowing for sure how the audience feels.

Dark magic has been a phenomenon observed among magical girls since before the evolution of the modern magical girl (Puella Furia)

I am pretty sure that this was a hell of a bombshell to drop though. I think we're still dealing with the ramifications of these magical girls being further along the evolutionary chain than their counterparts in the source material.

Dark magic, true to its name, does not interact electromagnetically, and thus cannot be observed by an individual who is incapable of perceiving their surroundings without a body's sensory organs. Typically, this restricts observation to magical girls (in the various stages of their life cycle) and those similarly aware of their souls as in, for instance, the Incubator.

I deliberately avoided also saying wraiths here, even though I'm pretty sure that this early on I knew that they were going to be showing up in part 2.

As advances in the understanding of dark magic continue, the phenomenon's discovery is misattributed to significant contributors to the study of magic. These include Penelope of Skyros (310 BCE - 291 BCE), for her use of it in elaborating on the Aristotelian conception of a "fifth element", Aisha bint Hassan (703 - 739), the first person to write the equations for dark magic stability and its relation to emotional energy usage when her trail of thought became derailed while she was trying to figure out how to fit a rolled-up rug through the front door of her house, Anneliese Holzknecht (1828 - 1871), whose extensive writing on the matter had resulted in the SI unit for dark magic being named the Holzknecht (abbreviated as Hk), and who had invented both the time paradox and being found dead 7000 kilometres from the last place you were seen, and Rachel R. Parker (1981 - 2002), who had actually coined the term.

The saddest part of writing PFDM is how short I have to make everyone's lifespans. Except Anneliese Holzknecht, who I hope is pretty obviously a pet favourite of mine at this point. Actually, a very VERY early version of the story plan (i.e. before Macquarie and all that) was going to have her be part of the main gang, and also immortal. I since decided that was patently ridiculous, and that I ended up finding her more interesting long-dead than alive (although she did live for quite some time!), so I kinda-sorta moved her immortality across to Whitman, and changed it more to an immunity-type power. More recently, I've started reading You Bright and Risen Angels by William T. Vollmann, which incorporates centuries-old immortals into its main cast much funnier than I would have anyway.

Parker's coinage of the phrase came about in 1998, in response to the discovery of "dark energy" named to suit the nomenclature established by dark matter. She had come up with it during a game of table tennis, wherein she had joked that if the name ended up sticking, the entities whose bodies were comprised of dark magic would have to be renamed to "witches" and "familiars" and was shocked to discover the following week that this was exactly what had happened. What she was not shocked to discover, however, since neither she nor anybody else ever knew this, was that mere days after she made this joke, a woman in another country altogether was giving birth to an immaculately conceived child. Had she known, her entire understanding of consciousness and free will would have been thrown into question and it's entirely possible that this would have made her feel less bad about the joke in comparison.

I have no doubt in my mind that the name "witch" only being a decade old has caused hella plot holes in the historical sections. If it has, I'll probably patch these up. Not entirely sure if I care enough to, though? We'll see.

Anyway, that's all for now. See you next time for chapter 4, the first chapter I wrote live as we were updating!

#pfdm reread

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keyladetmer · 3 years ago

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safe & sound

Fandom: Star Trek: Discovery

Relationship: Keyla Detmer / Joann Owosekun

Summary:

Keyla Detmer shows up at Joann Owosekun's door late at night after the away mission.

Missing scene from 4x11 "Rosetta." Canon compliant-ish. 5184 words.

Read it on AO3

Lieutenant Commander Keyla Detmer should have probably gone to sleep. Should have probably gone back to her quarters, taken a sonic shower, changed into her pyjamas, then flopped face down onto her bed and slept for the entire eight hours before her next shift. Soon, she’d be flying the ship straight into the most dangerous enemy they’d ever faced and it would probably be smart to be well-rested for that.

Her body was warm from the couple of glasses of synthehol that she had drank at the ship's bar, chatting with Ensign Adira Tal after the eventful away mission. She thought she was going to spend the night drinking alone, sitting at the bar with her thoughts of the past and a yearning for something she was sure she’d never have, but Adira had sat down with her. They had shown up clutching at their drink and smiling nervously, and then asked to join her.

She was not drunk per-se, it was tough to get truly sloshed off of the stuff from the replicators, but she was definitely not sober. Good, she thought, maybe I needed it . Time away from the storm that was brewing in her brain. She had pushed herself further than she could handle, staying up late to talk to the younger officer, and in result, her entire body was protesting. She was exhausted, but after the day she had, she didn't want to go back to her empty quarters.

In her quarters, she would be alone. She realized that she didn’t want to be alone. Not after whatever that was on the alien planet.

She missed her old room. Deck four, room two-oh-one. After she got promoted, she got assigned to a larger, spacious room with a large window and an ensuite bathroom, but no roommate. That was the problem: she missed having someone to come home to.

She used to like living alone. After everything with her dad… Keyla was better on her own. Being alone was safer. Given this, the communal bunks on her first assignment had been the worst sleep she’d ever had. There were so many people. Snoring. Talking. Laughing. It set her on edge. As an only child, she’d never had to share a room before let alone sharing a hallway with four other ensigns. She hated it, and barely slept during her first commission. Later, after she had been promoted to lieutenant and was reassigned to Shenzhou, Keyla relished the silence of sleeping alone. Which, she acknowledged, sounds a bit sad. It wasn’t like she didn’t sleep with people, but actually spending the night wasn’t something Keyla did. She was more of a slipping out once the other person fell asleep kind of person. She did have a roommate — Lieutenant Miller, a science officer — but she was on the Beta shift and they only overlapped early in the morning, brushing their teeth in their ‘fresher, a comfortable silence between them. She appreciated how they were able to coexist, but wouldn’t have called her a friend. She died early in the Battle of the Binaries. Keyla hadn’t had time to mourn her loss.

When she had first been assigned to the USS Discovery, complete with a fresh cybernetic implant and shell-shocked from the start of the Klingon War, she had assumed that the massive Crossfield-class ship would offer single rooms for their bridge crew. Keyla had set her duffel-bag down in a huff when she had arrived to find two beds in her room assignment.

She never expected that her roommate would become her entire world in such a short span of time.

Now that she finally had a room to herself, Keyla barely slept.

She missed their late night conversations after shift. She missed her soft breath, a comforting rhythm that would lull Keyla back to sleep in the middle of the night. She missed their holomovie nights, how they fought over where to stow their laundry and whether Keyla was allowed to leave her socks strewn on the floor and whether or not they should close the blinds or keep their small window open so that they could see the stars. Joann Owosekun was in favour of the stars.

It wasn’t like Keyla didn’t see Joann every day. They had duty together on the bridge, both sitting together at the front, placed perfectly for the occasional glance in each other's direction or a joke said under their breath.

It wasn’t the same.

Swaying slightly, Keyla walked past her new room, forgoing sleep for a few moments longer.

She kept moving. If she didn’t stop, she wouldn’t have to face it all. At least, that’s been her mantra for most of her life. If she kept occupied, distracted, she could avoid the pain.

She had almost said something when Saru told her about her new room assignment, but what would she even say? “Sorry Captain, I don’t want to get a better room, I actually like living with Lieutenant Commander Owosekun.” That didn’t sound like something Keyla would say. Not out loud . So instead, she nodded and pretended to be smug about her promotion at dinner with the other bridge crew.

As she walked through the dim empty corridor, it felt like she was on autopilot. The helmsman lost control over her body's flightpath, as her mind was elsewhere, down on the planet. In a truly alien nursery.

She could still feel the recycled air in her EV suit brushing against her hair, the strange quality of the light that filtered through the atmosphere, and the way Saru’s body language shifted with each minute they were down on the planet. She could still hear the screams of the landing party, feel the way her hands shook as she reprogrammed their air filters and see the immense pain in her crewmate's eyes. Most of all, her mind drifted to the nursery and the way the hydrocarbons affected her.

Lost in thought, Keyla walked, her long legs carrying her through the empty halls. Earth was on her mind, her homeworld, which was no longer hers. Now, it was in danger. For all they knew, the DMA had accelerated and all of this first contact was for nothing, but that was a type of pessimism that didn’t fly on Discovery. Earth was home, but it also wasn’t. The blue green marble looked the same, the sun on her skin felt the same, and as she sat under the large tree near Starfleet Academy, she could pretend she was in her own time. But this wasn’t her time, this wasn’t her Earth. No home. Did Keyla ever have a home?

The nursery felt like a home, but one that Keyla had never known. Growing up, Keyla knew her house was different. She only had one parent, unlike her friends who all had at least two. When she went over to her friends house, there was always a parent fussing over their child, replicating orange slices and making sure they didn’t watch too many holos. Keyla never invited anyone over, in return.

Her home felt nothing like the nursery. There was no safety. No warmth. Her dad wasn’t really there, a ghost of himself even before he died. After jumping to the future, Keyla learned that there was little difference between being dead a handful of years and being dead for centuries. Ghosts were ghosts, no matter how much time passed, and the alien planet made that clear for her. They still had power over the living.

She found herself standing nervously outside of her former roommate’s new quarters. It reminded her of a few months ago when, after a long day on the bridge, Keyla found herself outside of her old room, confused as to why the doors weren’t automatically opening for her, before realizing she was on deck three, not two.

Keyla closed her eyes, the lingering effects of the dust still seeming to buzz in her brain. Doctor Pollard had cleared her after she had returned to the ship, scanning her twice at Keyla’s insistence. No abnormalities. No lasting effects, not on her biological brain nor her cybernetic implant that formed a significant chunk of her temporal lobe. She wasn’t quite sure if that was true, if something like that wouldn’t affect her. How would they even be able to tell? They were flying blind out here, beyond the galactic barrier.

Keyla’s mind fixated on her memory of the wails of the damned, how her team succumbed to their torment, writhing and holding onto their helmets as Keyla reprogramed their EV suits. She felt it too, but those feelings had already become routine, something she pushed through every day in the pilot's chair and every evening alone in her room, staring blankly into the eternal night.

What happened in the nursery stuck with her; the feelings were swirling in her brain. Some part of her felt nostalgic for a past that she hadn’t ever experienced. She longed for some spark of recognition for those feelings, like Captain had. Longed for some memory to connect to.

“Oh, Detmer.” Captain Burnham's voice rang in her ears. The concern on her face; the pain in her own eyes. The look of something close to pity that had made Keyla turn away in shame when she realized all their eyes were on her.

She pressed the console to the right of the door, then waited. A moment passed and Keyla almost fled, as what she was doing finally caught up with her. The door beeped and she realized it was too late because the doors were already opening to reveal a slightly sleepy looking Joann Owosekun.

“Hi,” Keyla breathed, taking in the sight of Joann in a faded Starfleet Academy hoodie that Keyla was pretty Joann stole from her months ago. Her hair was let down from her customary tied-back style, the long twists framing her face. She looked surprised at Keyla’s arrival.

After one look at Keyla, Joann wrapped her in a warm hug. Keyla’s knees almost buckled in relief, leaning into the shorter woman for support. She didn’t realize how much she wanted to see her. She had even stayed at the bar in hopes that Joann would show up after her shift on the bridge.

“You better come in then,” Joann whispered, then pulled her into her room and sat her onto her bed.

At that point, Keyla realized tears were prickling at her eyes. She threw herself back onto the bed and rubbed at her face. You are not allowed to cry, she told herself, you already cried once in front of both of the captains, you’ve reached your quota. Despite this, a tear trickled out of her cybernetic eye onto the woven blanket that covered the bed. Her tear ducts still worked, despite everything. Figures.

She breathed in the familiar smell that she could never quite identify but she knew as to be Owo , and felt a bit better. She opened her eyes again as she felt the bed dip, and found her friend's arm around her shoulder, sitting her up and pushing a warm mug into her shaky hands.

“Drink up,” Joann’s soft voice commanded her, and Keyla obeyed the order, taking a sip of the fragrant tea that was almost hot enough to burn her tongue, but not quite. “It’s sleepytime tea, an old Earth recipe.”

Keyla sniffled, then leaned into Joann’s body, taking in her warmth. Joann supported her, allowing Keyla to relax.

“Long day?” Joann asked, as if she hadn’t already been briefed on the mission. By now, Keyla was sure the entire ship had heard. Some even stared at her across the bar, wondering what she had experienced on the away mission. She couldn’t blame them, if she hadn’t been there, she would’ve been desperate for any information that would provide any hope for their mission.

Keyla laughed. “You could say that.” She took another sip, enjoying the warm chamomile taste and the freshness of what she thought might be mint. “What’d we do to have the weight of the galaxy constantly be on our shoulders?”

“Fly good?”

“Oh so that’s already made its rounds?” Keyla laughed, “Poor Adira.”

“I heard it from Nilsson at dinner,” Joann explained with a smile. “Apparently Adira thinks you’re very cool. It was nice to have something to laugh about, today. Everyone was on edge while you were gone.”

“The crew isn’t good at sitting around twiddling their thumbs,” Keyla pointed out. “Not a particularly patient group.”

She managed a half smile, enjoying their comfortable conversation as they danced around why Keyla had shown up at Joann’s door with shaking hands and a distant look in her eyes.

“Hey, I can be patient!” Joann said. “It was Rhys who was bouncing off the walls. That boy had enough pent up stress he could have powered the warp core. Though, admittedly, it was hard to relax with the delegates taking up residence in the lounge.”

“You didn’t replace me with Ambassador T'Rina as your best friend?” Keyla quipped, “She seems fun.”

She bumped her shoulder with Keyla’s, teasingly, careful not to spill her tea. Best friends, Keyla said, mentally scoffing. What a way to put whatever they had together.

“No I think Saru has that covered,” Joann replied, “Wouldn’t want to step on his toes… er- hooves.”

Keyla managed a snort.

Joann then tilted her head as she said: “I heard you did more than fly today?”

Ah, there it was. Joann stopped dancing around the issue.

“Yeah,” Keyla breathed. “We found something… this dust. It was getting into our EV suits, so I had to reprogram them on the fly.”

“That’s my girl,” Joann smiled and even Keyla’s lips twitched into a slight grin at the pride in her voice.

“The Captain thinks it’s the context we need to communicate with the 10C.”

“That’s good. Is it not?”

Keyla nodded, but it was hard to feel good. Ni’Var was in danger. So was Earth. The only somewhat familiar place in this unfamiliar century might be already destroyed and they wouldn’t even know. Billions could be lost. The weight of that seemed to be pressing on her chest, making it hard to breathe. She had fought it to save the others down on the planet. She locked her fear away, relying on the months of PTSD therapy, but it was finally starting to overwhelm her now.

Put it in a box, Detmer, she scolded herself.

Her hand rose involuntarily to her head, touching her implant as the phantom pain of her injury filled her consciousness, as it was wont to do whenever she was stressed. She closed her eyes at the pain. She could feel Joann’s eyes on her but knew if she opened her own eyes, she’d crumble.

And to make matters worse, the screaming returned, but worse this time. Without the focus and adrenaline of the mission keeping her in line, the dam broke and the memories flooded in. The alien voices rose in pitch and volume. Her own screams joined the fray as the memory of crashing Discovery into the planet blended together into one cacophony overwhelming her senses.

“Detmer, come back to me.” Joann’s voice broke through, reminding Keyla that she was no longer on the planet.

“I’m okay,” Keyla managed, but she was sure that it wasn’t convincing. She had to get it together.

Five things you can see, Keyla recited in her mind, attempting to quell the rising panic before it became a full-blown episode. One, the mug of tea in her hand. Two, the steam rising from it. Her eyes darted around, the visual information from eye and implant coming in and out of focus as she struggled to process the input. Three.. Owosekun’s quarters. The room is neat, clean, without the mess Keyla used to bring to their shared room. Some memories from home sit on the shelf, objects Joann explained to her back in the early days of the assignment, before they were navigating an unfamiliar time and the space beyond the Galactic Barrier. Four… four. What else? Space, outside. The eternal darkness that hadn’t been seen by human eyes before. Keyla forced herself to focus her eyes on the woman next to her instead. Five: Joann.

Keyla took a deep breath. “I’m here. I’m okay.”

Joann didn’t seem to believe her. Keyla doesn’t blame her. She probably looked like a mess.

Okay Detmer, you can do this, Keyla thought. Focus. Four things you can feel. The deck under her feet, the weight of a blanket being placed on her shoulders, the warmth of her tea, Joann’s hand resting lightly on Keyla’s thigh, Joann.

Three things you can hear: the thrum of the warp core deep inside the ship (a feeling that she, like many pilots, could always sense, noting changes before many an engineer), her own heartbeat thudding loudly in her chest, and Joann’s slow breath beside her.

Two things you can smell: the tea, Joann’s perfume.

One thing you can taste. Keyla took another sip of the tea. Camomile.

“Emotions. The hydrocarbons,” Keyla forced out in explanation. “They used them to communicate somehow. Dr. Culber, Captains Saru and Burnham… they all reacted strongly to the first emotion we encountered. Fear. Torment. Pain. Remnants of the mass extinction that the 10C faced.”

She finally looked over at Joann, whose wide brown eyes looked over at her with concern. Keyla leaned into her, resting her head onto Joann’s shoulders as she braced for what came next.

“I could deal with that,” Keyla whispered. “I know how to deal with that.”

For a long time, she didn’t. As the queen of putting things in boxes, Keyla knew only how to push everything down, power through it. Flying, working out, studying, drinking, anything to simply forget for a moment. She knows better now… or at least was trying to.

Fear used to be a weakness, to Keyla. You couldn’t be afraid as a pilot, not when you’re being spun in the g-force simulator, nor when racing through the Sol system as a cadet, and especially not when you’re going where no one had gone before. But she was finding the strength to admit to her fear, first to Joann, then in therapy to Dr. Culber. Eventually, she hoped to find strength in it.

“I know you do,” Joann finally spoke. “I wish you didn’t know such pain.”

For a moment, she just relaxed into Joann’s arms, before collecting herself.

“I could deal with that,” Keyla repeated. “But the nursery-”

Her voice broke.

“The feeling of safety. Full unadulterated love. I just had never felt that before, not in the way Captain Burnham spoke about. With her parents.”

Joann took the still-full mug and set it onto her side table, and pulled Keyla into her again, enveloping her in a hug that sent a rush through Keyla’s nerves.

The last time she had felt this sort of bone-crushing hug had been after the relief of discovering that Joann had survived sabotaging the nacelles to retake the ship from Osyraa. Oxygen-deprived and terrified, they had held onto each other. Keyla wanted to kiss her then, too, to celebrate the fact that Joann had saved them all but there was no time. There is never time.

She hadn’t felt it then, not really. She hadn’t had room for any emotion besides relief that combated the terror that filled her consciousness.

This feeling was new to her. Safety. Security. Love.

“It felt good. Warm. It was nothing familiar to me. Maybe I had felt it before… but I don’t remember. With my mom…”

She shook her head.

“I didn’t want to leave,” Keyla whispered.

Joann nodded. She understood.

It had taken years before she told Joann about her childhood and even then, she hadn’t gone past the basics. Dead mom. Her dad. Flying away from her home way too young. Starfleet. Joann, in turn, had spoken of the collective, of the heartbreaking moment of her friend dying, of leaving the only world she had ever known. Most of this information had been exchanged in whispers, late at night, between wars and phaser fire and mutiny and devastating loss.

When they had made the decision to leave their lives behind and follow the Red Angel into the 32nd century, they knew that they were leaving everything behind, and everyone. Both women had very little to leave behind. Not much to go back to, if they had made the decision to stay in their own time. They had their friendships and loyalty to the crew and a love for their Captain who they would follow into the future.

They followed each other into the future, too. Keyla often wondered what she would have done if Joann had stayed on the Enterprise with the rest of the crew, if it would have changed her destiny. She also wondered if it would have changed Joann’s mind, if Keyla had stayed.

Her past wasn’t something Keyla often spoke of in the light of day, especially now that it was literally over nine hundred years ago and everyone she ever knew, or cared about, thought she died in the war.

Bragging, that she could do. Jokes, even better. She was only starting to be able to talk about her recent traumas in therapy, and while she could sense that Dr. Culber wanted her to go deeper, talk more about the roots of these thoughts and feelings, Keyla had held back. Until today, when she blurted it out in front of them all. She knew she was building up to this, the sharing your feelings thing. After breaking down, publicly, at the dinner party that Saru had arranged, Keyla’s feelings had suddenly left her inner world and became a conversation topic amongst the senior staff. People were suddenly aware that she wasn’t okay, and weirdly enough, it was fine. She expected whispers and stares, but got hugs and movie nights instead. She wasn’t in it alone. Not anymore.

Keyla Detmer wasn’t alone then, or down on the planet. She wasn’t even alone when she had planned to be at the bar, when Adira had joined her. And Keyla wasn’t alone in this moment, wrapped in her best friend’s embrace.

Keyla’s face was buried in Joann’s shoulder, her friend's strong arms holding her tight as Keyla clung to her. There it was. The feeling again. The buzzing in her brain that told her she was safe, that she was loved.

“I didn’t want to leave,” Keyla whispered. The orange glow of the dead planet filled her vision as she pressed her eyes closed. “I don’t want to leave.”

“Then stay.”

The meaning had shifted slightly. Keyla realized she was asking to stay here, in Joann’s bed, and that Joann had given her permission.

Keyla opened her eyes and found herself nose to nose with her crewmate, former roommate and best friend. Blue eyes sought brown. The intensity of Joann’s gaze scared her, but she couldn’t look away.

“I feel it still,” Keyla admitted. “The warmth.”

“I’d hope so,” Joann replies. “ This is your home. Here on Discovery. Not an abandoned alien nursery.”

“Home,” Keyla repeated. It sounded strange on her tongue. The only place she had reliably called home was their shared quarters - a habit she had picked up from Joann.

That feeling returned in full force. The peace. The overwhelming warmth and affection that bloomed in her chest, spreading warmth and causing a large grin to spread across her face. She felt safe.. Secure… No!

The planet. It hadn’t left her system after all.

No… She couldn’t do this. Not now. She was compromised. It was messing with her. The emotions that swirled around in her brain, they weren’t hers, not really. She couldn’t do this to Joann, couldn’t draw her in when these feelings — this hope — wasn’t hers.

She pulled away from Joann’s embrace, shrugging the blanket off of her shoulders, rubbing her face roughly with her hands and curling into herself.

“I can’t-” she breathed. “There’s something wrong. I- I-”

“Keyla…” Joann reached out to touch her but Keyla flinched back.

“I need to go to Sickbay,” Keyla said, her voice rising in volume with her panic, “There’s something wrong.”

“Stop, Keyla!” Joann said, sitting on the edge of her bed, her voice as calm and steady as always, “You were cleared. You’re fine.”

Keyla stood up. “These feelings, they’re not mine. They can’t be mine, I don’t know how to feel this way .”

As Keyla tried to flee out the door, Joann stood up, then stepped in front of her, halting her in her path. Keyla turned and began to pace, wringing her hands as she worked herself up into a panic.

Joann brought up her Tricorder and stood her ground. She began to scan her. Keyla froze in place, stunned as the Ops officer looked at her with the same expression as she’d have as their ship encountered an unknown spatial anomaly. Joann scrutinized her with eyes that understood the very workings of the known universe and the tactical skills of one of the most talented ops officers of their time. Keyla submitted to the scan.

“Your heart rate is elevated,” Joann explained, looking at the display of Keyla’s vitals on the holographic projection, “But that’s expected.”

Keyla nodded, her gesture jerky.

“You are also slightly under the influence of synthehol,” Joann continued, calmly, gesturing to a graph that depicted possible contaminants in Keyla’s blood.

Keyla flushed and stuttered.

“There’s no trace of the hydrocarbons,” Joann concluded. “It’s not detecting alien influence on your brain, nor any abnormal readings. Now, I’m not a doctor but if I was, I’d diagnose you with stress and exhaustion.”

Joann gestured to the information in front of her, letting Keyla see for herself.

“Keyla, you are okay. You just need some sleep. And maybe some water.”

Her shaking hands tapped at the screen, bringing up the details, staring it down as if she expected it to tell her something different.

“Anyway, Zora is always tracking our lifesigns,” Joann said with a soft smile. “She’d tell us if there was something to worry about.”

Keyla almost expected Zora to say something, but the ship was silent except for the hum of the warp core and the comforting vibrations under her feet.

“Then why do I feel this way?”

“How do you feel?”

“Safe,” she said. “I felt safe with you. But it’s the same as I felt when the hydrocarbons got through the EV suit. It has to be the 10C I need to tell the Captain.”

Joann took the Tricorder back then set the device down and said: “I feel safe with you too. And I wasn’t exposed to any hydrocarbons. All of you went through a full decontamination after you returned to the ship.”

Keyla thought for a moment, finally considering the situation.

“You weren’t,” Keyla admitted.

“Now, we can go to Sickbay if you want. They can scan you again and confirm that you are, in fact, okay. Or, you could stay and get a good night’s sleep.”

Keyla took stock of herself. It wasn’t the 10C after all. It was the feeling, for real this time. As she stood, gasping as the emotions rushed through her, her brain struggled for a frame of reference, for context, but found none. She hadn’t felt that way before. Safe. Loved. Peaceful.

But she was wrong. The dust was not to blame. This was the context, this was the frame of reference: Joann Owosekun.

“Stay,” Joann said. “Please.”

Keyla nodded then surged forward, hugging her friend with all of her might. Joann’s right hand tangled in her hair as her left held the small of Keyla’s back, pressing their bodies together. A fluttering in Keyla’s stomach reminded her of her feelings for Joann. Stay, stay, stay , Joann’s words echoed in her mind.

“Can I?” Keyla whispered, fearful that the offer could be revoked at any moment.

“Always,” came Joann’s response.

Then, they pulled apart slightly, Joann was holding onto Keyla’s head and looking into her eyes, their foreheads touching. They stood there for a moment, relishing the embrace. Their lips were close, but not touching. Neither woman made the move to.

They were at a stalemate, frozen in place. Keyla knew Joann wouldn’t take this any further, wary of spooking Keyla as she was already in such a state.

Instead of closing the distance between them, Keyla pulled at the blue hoodie and asked: “is this mine?”

Joann laughed, then tilted her head.

“You left it when you moved out. Fair game.”

“I didn’t move out,” Keyla defended herself. “I was reassigned. Against my will.”

“Against your will?” Joann asked. “We were promoted!”

“Yeah and now I’m on the port side of the ship. A decidedly worse side of the ship.” Keyla whined. “I lost my roommate and my sweater, not a fair trade for a slightly bigger window and a larger bed. So much for heroically recapturing the ship - never doing that again.”

Joann laughed then pulled back. “You’re welcome here — on the better side of the ship — any time, you know that? Even when you’re not so exhausted that I wouldn’t trust you to walk back to your own room without a personal transporter’s assistance.”

Keyla nodded, too stunned for words, which was rare for the cocky pilot.

“Now, let’s get you to bed,” Joann said, guiding Keyla gently to the edge of her bed. Keyla complied, kicking her boots off and tugging at her collar absentmindedly, eyes locked on Joann. She didn’t notice that she was struggling to undo her collar until Joann sat down next to her, moved Keyla’s hands away, and unzipped her uniform for her, helping Keyla to take off her jacket and revealing her undershirt. She pulled out a pair of sleep pants out of her drawer and tossed them to Keyla before tugging off the hoodie that Keyla was starting to think looked better on Joann, anyway.

Before she knew it, she was under Joann’s heavy blankets, curled up on her side with Joann next to her. The proximity was shocking and instead of exhaustion that she should have been feeling, an electricity flowed through her nerves.

Safe. Welcome. Joann.

Joann rolled over, facing her like she had a moment before. She gently brushed some of Keyla's red hair out of her face, the touch sending shivers through Keyla's entire body.

“You okay?” Joann asked her, again.

This time, Keyla wasn’t lying when she said: “yeah I am.”

———

Keyla woke before dawn — or at least the equivalent experience on a starship which would slowly increase the lighting to simulate a sunrise — feeling at peace. She found Joann’s arm tossed casually over her own body, with her face pressed into Keyla’s back. The soft sound of her breathing lulled Keyla back to sleep.

Those feelings returned: safety, affection, warmth. She smiled and fell back asleep. She was still afraid. Terrified really, but Keyla could face whatever came next with Joann at her side.

#jola #keyla detmer #joann owosekun #star trek discovery #star trek: discovery #discovery #disco #discovery spoilers #joann x keyla #detmer x owo #fanfic #fic #detmers.doc #they're gay your honor #i just have a lot of thoughts about keyla in this episode #4x11 rosetta #i wrote this right after the episode i just forgot to publish it here

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sillydreamer · 3 years ago

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Hello! O/ I just saw this post of yours and... it's free? If it does: I'd like a headcanon about this image that Beemoov shared today in IG... What type of story I want? I don't know, I'm here to tell you that: Feel free to write anything that your head does about this image and... in that image is Nevra, can you do also for Lance and Leiftan in the future? There's no rush, you can do it with peace of mind n_n

Scenario of the image in episode 7 New Era (Nevra)

Of course I can do this ;3

Let me tell you that I got excited and wrote a scenario instead of a headcanon and also I read it wrong sorry ahhhh, if you want it as a headcanon just say the word and I’ll do it right away! Don’t hesitate to ask!

I'll do the same when Lance and Leiftan images comes in the future (either if the episode comes or when someone publish them in here, I don't have instagram x_x). Anyway, here comes what I think that happened in the image.

Okay seeing this now that I have finished I think that I wrote something quite long hahahaha...I hope that you don’t mind 😅

The stars seemed to dance at the night sky just like the people did below them, Nevra gazed up and found the brilliant dots covering everything until the horizon. Since Huang Hua became leader everything seemed quite normal and everybody was happy. Why couldn't he advance?

He remembered what happened during the last eight years of his life, he discovered people that helped him but now they were gone, he needed to take new responsibilities to protect whoever needed it. The world seemed more like a cold place while everybody danced around him.

"Nevra? Is everything alright?" the voice of Huang Hua interrupted his thoughts and he looked at her. The leader seemed genuinely worried to the point that Nevra felt guilty for being the reason of that.

"Yes, I just feel a little bit tired, that's it" replied Nevra with a low voice. He knew that Huang Hua didn't believe his lie because she sat down right at his side and looked even more concerned.

"I know that there are things that bothers you and are taking space in your mind. It's hard to move on. Let me be clear; I don't want you to act like everything's alright and to ignore what happened eight years ago" her voice always had the power to calm down people, even the vampire felt safe and by looking at those honey eyes he felt like all of the problems could disappear in an instant "But don't forget that there’s things that you can learn in hard situations”

He didn’t answer. That grey eye was passing by every single person in the garden. Each one of them seemed happy and were celebrating with their friends. Why couldn’t he feel the same way?

Nevra sighed heavily and stood up, not having the courage to see Huang Hua’s eyes.

“I’ll think about it. Now I should dance a little” he moved on through the people searching for somebody. He didn’t know what but his legs were moving and his eyes trying to find something. A grip at his shoulder make him turn around and his eyes crossed with a young lady.

The vampire knew her, she was one of the H.Q habitants. They had a few dates and spent some nights together but nothing more. There were not feeling between them and how could it be? Risking himself to get damaged again?

“Nevra sorry for bothering is just that you seemed...bad” her voice was soft and low. His instinct forgot about whatever it was searching and put all its attention to the lady.

“Nothing unusual, just work and I was searching for fresh air” those words were lies. Nevra felt bad for lying since he hated them but there was no point on worrying others more, he needed to carry with its own weight and problems as he had done for the last years.

“I see...do you want to dance?” she asked almost timidly. Nevra stretched out his hand to grab hers and led both to the dance floor.

This play was a feminine voice followed by a piano and a violin. Nevra was a great dancer since young and he felt the music running through his body but something was feeling wrong. His instinct was telling him to stop and as far a he knew the best option was to follow his inner voice.

Still he didn’t want to leave that poor lady alone so he spend a few more songs dancing with her. His hands grabbed her hips and followed the rhythm of the melody while she looked directly to his face. He looked back but inside of his head the voice begged him to stop, to quit and ran away. “But ran away of what?” He questioned himself while helping that lady to give a spin. The music turned off and this meant that another song was coming by.

“Nevra, are you busy tonight?” again her voice interrupted his thinking. Nevra blinked a few times but didn’t answer. While looking at that lady with yellow eyes he spotted someone else over her shoulder.

Two big purple eyes were looking directly at him, that brown hair was very particular but what surprised him most was the look that Erika gave him; those purple eyes seemed sad but not surprised.

Nevra moved back and looked at the lady that was in front of him, she was waiting for his answer with a bright smile at those beautiful pink lips.

“I-Im sorry...I need do something” Nevra’s voice vacillate for a second. When he looked back at Erika she was gone.

“I understand” the lady whispered and got closer to give Nevra a quick kiss “But promise me that we are going to see each other soon”

After promising that he walked away, back to the H.Q, in there his steps became faster until he was running. Nevra wanted to get away from the world and hide where nobody could ever find him. But again that voice at his brain began speak and told him to think, to not get overwhelmed by the situation.

Before he could question that or even think Nevra found himself front of the crystal room. A few years ago that was his place for meditation; knowing that Valkyon gave his last breath in there, that Erika and Leiftan sacrificed themselves...a lot of hard decisions were taken inside of those walls.

Nevra entered and was received by the pale light of the mineral, nobody was there to bother him and his thoughts. With a calmer step he walked like he was attracted to the light. A heavy sigh left his mouth but it didn’t last long since he heard someone approaching.

That was a public place, by the oracle. How could he expect to have peace in there? His surprise was bigger when Erika’s shape crossed the door and started walking at his direction.

“Hey, leaving early?” she asked with a calm voice, still he could hear that there was a storm behind it. Erika stopped walking to save a few feets between them.

“Not feeling good, that’s it” Nevra excused himself and looked back to the crystal. It’s light had the ability to calm him down and keep his mind-cold, and that was what he needed to most.

The guardian didn’t answer but still the vampire was able to hear the footsteps behind him and when he looked, she was just at his side. But Erika wasn’t looking at him, instead her eyes were focused on the crystal, her eyes glowed and she looked impressed.

Her right hand extended to the mineral and touched the cold surface but nothing happened, the silence flood the room until Erika sighed heavily.

“Even if my powers are back, I can’t save everybody. I’m...useless” the words that came out of her lips and her head looked down.

“No you’re not” Nevra’s words came out even without him thinking about it. The guardian looked at him but the vampire regretted that immediately. He wasn’t the best with soft words and all that he could think is on what would Huang Hua say.

No. He wasn’t Huang Hua. He would do it in the Nevra way.

“Look, I know that it’s hard to leave the past behind. Believe me, I spent many night eating my brain thinking why I didn’t do this or that. But... the end I learned that we can’t change the past, we need to move on and think about what we learned with the experience so we don’t commit the same mistakes again”

He was surprised that those words came from him, Nevra felt relieved when the guardian looked at him with a small smile at her lips, happiness was the only emotion that the vampire could feel and he also smiled, forgetting his old emotions.

A soft melody of a violin could be heard on the distance and Nevra looked at the door by instinct. Nobody came.

“Do you want to dance?” the guardian asked breaking the wall between them. The vampire looked back and saw her hand extended at his direction. He grabbed it and lead her to dance at the sound of the melody.

The bodies moved along with the music, Nevra’s fingers touched Erika’s hips while his other hand held hers. They were very close, too close. Nevra step back to give her a spin and then catch her. Erika seemed surprised but again she smiled.

“Looks that you hadn’t loose the style” she joked and straightened to keep moving.

“I’m not that old, you know?” Nevra replied and gave her another spin “Although I have to admit that I used to be faster...”

“I prefer it this way”

Both of the bodies kept moving in perfect synchrony, another instruments joined the violin and this motivated these dance couple. For the first time in seven years Nevra felt free, their foots were able to move across the room and nobody was there to judge, they were just the two of them, sharing a moment.

Erika turned but this time her body moved backwards so her back is against Nevra’s chest, her left arm stretched to grab the vampire’s nape and pull him closer.

“Did you really meant to say that?” Nevra asked while his left hand touched her face “That you prefer it this way?”

“I prefer when you are calmed down like now but...” she stopped for a second and closed her eyes with pain “I can’t stop thinking if this is going to end tonight”

“What do you mean?” even when he was confused his body didn’t move, so didn’t Erika’s. The music could be heard in the distance but the dance stopped.

“I know what you have been doing these years, flirting with more women and then pretending that nothing happened” Erika opened the eyes and they seemed like two amethysts, Nevra was shocked “Is this the same for you?”

Nevra remain silent, that was a question that hadn’t come through his mind. Was her really a one night thing? He remembered all of the adventures that they lived together, how she managed to smile through hard times and how she sacrificed for a world that wasn’t even hers. Giving him and everybody a chance.

Nevra’s hearthbeat increased while Erika’s face still looked at him, he knew what was that feeling. Something that he tried to ignore since she awake.

“Of course not, you are more than just that” his voice was soft and some pink cheeks could be seen at his face. He pushed away just to grab her chin and look at those soft lips “You are more that I could even imagine”

Erika stepped closer while her eye closed, the vampire did the same and the last thing that he saw was that beautiful face before their lips touched.

His hand hugged her body and pressed her against his shape, Nevra was desperate to feel that warm feeling, sharing it with someone else. Erika’s arms moved through his chest and ended up hugging his back.

That was a moment that both of them hoped to last long, but they needed air and this end up with the kiss but still a smile could seen at their lips.

“Want to try again?” the vampire asked.

The night was only theirs, with other melodies running through the air they kept dancing and whenever they had the chance a fast kiss will appear to be followed with others.

This was definitely longer that I expected, at first I struggled about how to do it but then I heard Edda’s Requirem and gave me the inspiration to write all of this.

I really imagine these two dancing with that song it just- *chef kisses*

If you hadn’t heard the song it this one.

#eldarya #beemov #eldarya origins #eldarya ezarel #eldarya lance #eldarya leiftan #eldarya mathieu #eldarya nevra #eldarya new era #eldarya valkyon #eldarya writing

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nelavili · 3 years ago

Text

I'm still processing Season 6 and as an unpopular opinion I'm not too happy about it as a whole. I feel horrible for not enjoying it as much as the Cast/Crew would like me to, but I just can’t change this feeling I have.

Just to clear my head I'll write the things down that irked me. I don't want to start any discussion, they're only my thoughts on stuff ‘n thangs. Huge spoilers ahead, please don’t read if you haven’t watched.

Michael

I admit it, I have probably more sympathy for the bad twin than I should. And after the whole S5 I thought we get a bit more closure with him. I didn’t expect a redemption arc, after Michael killed Remiel, Dan and Chloe it would have felt wrong. But after the “Everyone deserves a second chance” the dude is down in hell, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush. Really, Lucifer? That’s cruel after such a righteous line.

When Luci realized he could help everyone, even if he hated them, I hoped for a dive into the twins’ relationship but it was like Michael didn’t even existed anymore. And if someone needed therapy it would be the twin with the huge inferior complex. That could have been so interesting. (I had hoped that he'd sat on the couch at the end, but noooo we get the Frenchman.. such a disappointment.)

Maybe Tom Ellis didn’t want to play 2 roles again, or there was no time, but I feel that was a huge opportunity wasted.

What even was the plan of Michael? To get God to retire and wreck havoc on earth to get Dad back, so Mickey can take over as the new God? And then what? Wipe out humanity? I see no endgame here.

Ella

I liked Ella’s Story so far. But she stole the personal file of Carol and even broke into his house.. and everybody is cool with this? Carol might be crushing on Ella pretty hard but if somebody tells you they broke into your house, because they feared you were hiding something bad, You run for the hills. But the dude isn’t even phased.

I’m glad Carol is a good guy, though. Even if he’s kind of bland.

Ella finding out the truth on her own came out of nowhere. I would have found it better if they would have her act a little suspicious over the whole S5. But since they wrote S6 while S5 was shot, a little to late for this.

The scene at the wedding was amazing. I had so much fun with her outburst there.

Dan

Ghost!Dan was my favorite by far in this season. And I really liked how he wanted to help and tried to find out what he still felt guilty about.

I am so glad he got to spend his afterlife with Charlotte and I laughed so hard with the pudding. Didn’t expect that, in a positive matter. :D

The scene with Trixie killed me. Bawled so hard as soon as Kevin got teary eyes. That really gripped at my heartstrings.

But how could he go to heaven while in a body of a killer when his daughter stands right next to that killer?

Comedy-wise Dan is top notch

Trixie

I missed her so much.

It felt like she was an afterthought with everything. She recently lost her Dad and Chloe spends most of the time with Lucifer. I really missed the scenes with her and Luci, they always were so adorable.

They explain it later that she’s at a science camp, but I honestly thought Chloe chooses Lucifer (and later Rory too) over her.

She wasn’t at Chloe’s deathbed but here I’m not sure if the scene with Rory isn’t placed somewhere at the threshold to heaven where only celestials are able to enter. But if she wasn’t there because Chloe sidelined her in favor of Rory, then I can understand her absence.

Linda

I love Linda, she always gives good advice but nobody’s ever took it.

Her book probably would fly under the fantasy tag if she ever published it. Still, it felt cringey.

It was so sad that she thought she was a bad therapist.

Apparently she wants to keep helping celestials because it’s better than helping humans. In the end, celestials have the same problems as humans just on a bigger scale. But okay.

Amenadiel

Amenacop was good, and a nice nod to Dan who put in the application.

It made him realize that he only can change things when he has more power. I’m white and no american so I don’t know if the BLM theme there was well enough executed. Got me wondering.

The apocalypse just being Angels who are incompetent was a letdown. Like this whole season.

I really like him as god. And I am glad he took the position in the end. Even if he could have decided this a bit earlier.

Rory

I like her sarcasm and her character.

Didn’t like the whole time travel, time loop and daughter spiel. I’m not a big fan of time travels or couples getting a kid just for the sake of a happy end or to add extra drama. I could have lived without a Deckerstar baby. Instead they could have focused on Trixie for a change.

The time she spent with Lucifer on the 4th August was precious though.

How in hell did the Frenchman capture her? How did he even know how she looked? IIRC Dan hasn’t seen Rory while in that body. Dan just went over to Trixie that’s why I thought he’d capture her and not Rory.

Lucifer

He found his calling to help the souls in hell only because Rory traveled back in time? No man, he already took the step with Jimmy Barnes in preparation to take over as god. I don’t think it’s far fetched to believe that he would have the same epiphany without Rory there.

But without Rory, he wouldn’t have been helping Ghost!Dan to go to heaven. Though, before Rory traveled back in time, Lucifer was already trying to help Dan. They probably would have needed more time to figure out about what Dan felt guilty about, but figure it out anyways.

How did he even got Chloe pregnant? Was it his subconscious deciding he was ready to be a father? Amenadiel had to believe that he was human to get Linda pregnant. Or maybe it’s because they always thought they couldn’t impregnate a human and self-actualized it that way. Anyways, it’s a tiny hang-up I have with it.

Somebody else besides me thought that the scene in the panic room was awkwardly long? I know they thought Lucifer would vanish somehow, but it seemed too much to me.

His singsong while the magician talked about the trick. :D

I don’t want to even get into the whole time loop thing because I think it’s ridiculous(ly bad).

It took a lot of time for him to realize that he didn’t want to be god, after he put it on hold for a second time. Even Chloe could have asked him if that is really what he wanted. Could have spared us an episode or so. Why is the communication on this show so bad? Q.Q

I loved that he helped Maze with Eve to get the wedding back on after their fight.

He didn’t say goodbye to Trixie - again. What a nice step-devil..

It’s been Chloe, Rory and his family since he found out she’s his daughter. Not even mentioning the one kid who probably loved him before even Chloe fell for him.

For someone who is all about free will and led a rebellion against God for it, he was quick to accept that he has a “fate”. I thought he’d find another way, or at least try to. Nope, he just did what his child wanted. And they disguised it at his “choice”. Doesn’t look like a choice to me if your daughter begs you for it and you have to promise it. Just getting along with what your child wants.

Why does everyone need to shoot him? Just cut him until he bleeds. The Americans and their fixation on guns. Nice parallel to Chloe though.

Lucifer trying to fix the relationship to Rory with gifts was so cringey. I don’t know why but I couldn’t watch him sing/dance in that scene.

Both him and Amenadiel didn’t want to become like their Dad because of the reasons stated in S5, yet Lucifer exactly did. Another letdown.

Chloe

As soon as she knew Rory was her and Lucifer’s daughter it was all only about Lucifer and Rory. No thought of Trixie? I understand she was worried about being a bad mother to Rory, but come on, you’re being a bad mother to your first child right now.

She was ready to go to heaven with Lucifer. And Trixie does what exactly without her parents? Living with her Grandma because one of her parent died and the other one is abandoning her? It’s like the writers forgot about Trixie while forcing Rory on us.

The addiction to the necklace got old pretty fast.

And that whole fight against Lucifer felt unnecessary just to add more drama.

She gets mad at Lucifer for not telling her everything while not telling him that she went back to the LAPD. It’s Lucifer, he always has things on his plate. Double moral, pretty much.

She looked so gorgeous at the wedding, oh my god.

Most of the Deckerstar scenes were good. I got tired of the obvious naked cuddle times, surprisingly. Somehow it felt not like the ones in S5 and it bothered me.

I thought Chloe would finally get to know about everything Lucifer did for her, but I didn’t expect her to read it in Linda’s book. And that she only took away that he left her every time they had an emotional breakthrough.

They spend Lucifer’s last day at the beach and once again, no thought of Trixie. I’m sorry I repeat myself here so often. But this whole season wronged Trixie so much.

They face the baddie without any backup. At least get Amenadiel with you.

Other things

The use of music between scenes was too much for me. Got annoying at some point.

I appreciate that they wanted to show us snippets of past Deckerstar scenes but here too, I felt like it was too much.

Couldn’t really follow the timeline. Maybe it were the cuts.

What’s been the point of bringing Adam into the mix? Just to wrap up Maze and Eve’s story? For Linda having another celestial to therapy?

The animation in the Jimmy Barnes Hell loop was AMAZING. I laughed so hard.

I’m not saying that Deckerstar shouldn’t have sacrificed everything for the time loop to stay intact, I say that the whole daughter-time travel plot shouldn’t have had happened. They never even talked about having kids, and then ignore the whole existence of the one kid that’s already there.

I really need all the Michaella fanfics, please. My first ship that’s actually a raft, because they never officially have met. RIP lmao

The acting was great as usual, all my problems come from the writing and the plot.

In the end, I really feel frustrated, underwhelmed and disappointed by the whole season. I didn’t have high expectations other than the same writing quality like S5. My excitement for that Season died as soon as Rory told Lucifer that she’s his daughter, to be honest. I waited for a plot twist that never came. Then the whole time loop shit. I’d rather have waited one more year for S6 if the plot would have made more sense, since this felt like a first draft of a whole other show. And now I wished that S5 would have been the last season. If I could travel back in time, I’d rather not watch S6.

I can honestly live with the fact that Luci and Chloe are in hell, trying to help souls to get to heaven. (But hello, not the murderers perhaps? Or I want Michael sitting on that couch right now.) But the fact that both “chose” to sacrifice their time together with their family and friends just because it’s fate now and parents have to make sacrifices for their children; and anyways there’s an afterlife because (human) life is just a blip in our existence… nah thank you. I do not want it.

I’m probably not gonna rewatch S6 anytime soon.

#lucifer spoilers #lucifer s6 spoilers #lucifer netflix #deckerstar

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doyelikehaggis · 3 years ago

Note

it’s time for the dreaded s6 finale emotions

*strong regret in projecting onto ryan as much as i do because this episode h u r t s*

tyler being the one to invite ryan along?? g a e

“can’t send a man to his doom without getting drunk first” he’s trying so hard to fit in. poor bastard. and not calling the others out for excluding him? you can just tell he’s trying so hard not to ruin it for everyone, and nobody even gives a shit. and then of course he eventually snaps, he’s just spent over an hour having to watch everyone have a great time and forget about him, and then alex suddenly expects him to have bought mike a gift, and they fucking tell him to stop being so selfish and god those fucking assholes

god the conversation where may-li tells charlie about her grandad. it’s so beautifully acted, emily burnett sells the denial perfectly, it just,, ow

this episode is hard to watch when you have really strong empathy and project onto both ryan and charlie. h e l p

wow charlie really just delivered a baby in a car in the middle of the woods huh. i keep forgetting how absolutely badass that is

you know what absolutely kills me is the vague suicide subtext to ryan running away. take that goddamn phone conversation out of context and that’s what it is and that’s the worst part of all of this. and chloe saying that he’s left a note and that “i think he’s really gone for good”. o u c h

the fact that NOBODY EVEN NOTICES RYAN’S GONE EXCEPT MIKE AND CHLOE. even tyler doesn’t fucking notice. and then everyone cares more that mike’s gone to find him than that ryan even left in the first place. but we’re not meant to think about that because tracy’s here and everything’s absolutely fine right. this episode is murdering me can you tell

lily complaining about men on that facebook post. bit fruity of her, i must say *‘a day in the past’ flashbacks*

i havent watched my mum tracy beaker yet but i really need answers on how it fits timeline-wise into the tsotb/tbr/tdg canon

the fact that chloe isn’t even wrong when she says everyone would hate ryan even more if they found out mike isn’t there ‘because of him’ (read: because he quite literally had a breakdown and ran away and mike, being the only decent person in this goddamn show, went after him)

ah yes tracy, care worker of the year, really just said ‘your problems don’t fucking matter, forget that anything’s wrong because mike is getting married’. i love tracy but wow that is not the thing you say in this circumstance and the only reason it worked was because he felt bad about the cake and whatnot

this episode has such an all over the place tone. they really just went from mike freaking out to fiona figuring out he’s gone to a damn slo-mo shot of tracy and mike on a bike while ryan sprints behind them.

oh my god i forgot bailey was in this episode!! i hate him (affectionate)

this goddamn episode is so full of emotions i almost threw up oops. anyway it absolutely kills me that ryan looks like he’s about to cry pretty much the entire time. that poor kid. and then chloe really just pulls a tee and apparently loses all empathy towards him huh. love chloe but wow

i don’t think we get a chance to read what ryan wrote in that note? but i kinda wish we did. could’ve given some extra insight into everything

i have no idea if any of this is coherent, or how much of it is an actual analysis and how much is me projecting but oh well, this episode(s) is a fucking emotional trainwreck, what can you do

Oh god. I'm not prepared.

*valid regret to have, that sad queer kid with anger issues and insecurities experience hurts real bad*

Yes!! Once again proving that Tyler is the only one in the DG who actually cared about Ryan and wanted to be around him. He was pissed at Alex for not inviting Ryan like he was initally supposed to, and then took it upon himself to make Ryan feel included anyway.

That scene really pisses me off, because Alex really is going after him. You can tell, he won't let Ryan make a single joke without trying to be snarky about it, and then he purposefully tries to humiliate Ryan because he knows that Ryan couldn't possibly have known to bring a gift.

Oh yeah, I can barely ever rewatch the first part of the wedding for all of these reasons, but especially for Charlie finding out about her grandad. Emily really is way too good of an actor, that's why it's so painful.

I relate way too much to the strong empathy and projection, that shit hurts so bad.

Yeah!! Charlie did that!! Honestly, credit to her because I would not have been as calm as she was on a normal day if I had to deliver a baby in a car in the middle of nowhere, never mind after everything she had been through that day.

Okay, so you found a way to make Ryan's whole storyline of those episodes hurt way more than it already did. Thanks for that. But you are right, it does have that vague subtext to it. If this wasn't a children's show, I would've actually been worried that's where they were going to go with his storyline.

It does suck that nobody really noticed or cared that Ryan wasn't there. I wish even Tyler had shown a bit more concern, but I suppose they've only got enough time in an episode for so much.

That was definitely one of Lily's fruitiest moments, and that's saying a lot because of the aforementioned "a day in the past" flashbacks. Honestly, all of her scenes with Carmen and some with Tee are always fruity, there's nothing else to it.

Okay, so, I can kind of answer that one. My Mum Tracy Beaker definitely carries on from The Story of Tracy Beaker since it involves clips of it when Tracy sees Justine. However, it's only really connected to tbr/tdg canon through vague hints. Like, Tracy has a published book called "Who Cares?" and there's a mention of her being an ex careworker, and she wears a "T" necklace but it's slightly different from the one that she wears in the wedding episode. So, we know there are subtle references to TBR through these background details that are really just glossed over. There is a weird little moment when Tracy's daughter tells Justine that Tracy wrote a book, but Justine should already know that considering it was a big part of their reunion in Tracy Beaker Returns. At best, we can at least assume that everything that happened in TBR is canon for My Mum Tracy Beaker. I feel like, if we want to be able to make the timeline for the wedding add up with My Mum Tracy Beaker, we'd have to assume that Tracy hadn't already had Jess during the wedding. Since the wedding takes place around 2018, and Jess is 10, My Mum Tracy Beaker would have to be set in 2028 at the very least, and that would have to mean that Tracy had Jess the same year as the wedding. Either that, or she did already have Jess but just... never mentioned her because she was staying with Cam.

It really does kill me that Chloe was right about that, because you'd think at least some of them would have some sort of sympathy for Ryan. I wish Tyler did. Honestly, he had a genuine breakdown and ran away, and no one cared except Mike. Great family they are.

Yeah, that was not Tracy's best moment, but... that's just Tracy. She doesn't think, she acts on what she believes to be the best solution in that very moment. She was never exactly an aware winning care worker in all fairness skjdashd but Ryan definitely needed to hear something other than that.

I could barely be sad or stress during that episode specifically because of how chaotic it was, and ESPECIALLY because of that slow-mo that had no right being so damn hilarious.

SHFKDASJDLK "I hate him (affectionate)" well at least I'm glad the (affectionate) is there lmao. But I was screaming when I realized Baily (and Liam) were there, I was so happy!!

Oh yeah, Ryan looked so upset, he was absolutely blaming himself so badly. There was no need for Chloe to come in there "wish you'd run away for real" like fuck off. I love her. But fuck off.

I don't recall actually seeing the contents of the note now that you mention it.

Yeah, don't worry, I'm not sure most of my reply to it is coherent either. But those are episodes are some of the most fun to analyse because Drama and Angst.

#ds-umbrella-manufacturing-co #ask away earthlings!#tdg #the dumping ground #long post #ryan reeves #tyler x ryan #alex walker #charlie morris #lily kettle #my mum tracy beaker #tracy beaker returns #tracy beaker #bailey wharton

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percyjacksonfan3 · 3 years ago

Text

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! - how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST - Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

#lau rereads pjo #the last olympian is my favourite book for a REASON #honestly every line is killer #so much subtext to read into #the dialogue #the relationships are dialed up to 11 #every character is so on point #the battle strategies too? are just so interesting?#I just adore it #Tay don't read any of this yet cause it's all spoilers #alright I'm gonna go write fic to express these feelings now #tlo #the last olympian #pjo #pjato #percy jackson

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nimata-beroya · 3 years ago

Text

writing tag game

I took this from @kitepiper. She didn't tag me but said anyone could tag themselves, so here it is

(Personal note: For this, I'm considering mostly my works for Star Wars fandom, leaving out the rest of my current/old fandoms under other pseuds)

how many works do you have on Ao3?

Just 8 published (complete or WIPs). I have a few others in the works tho. You can check them out here.

what’s your total Ao3 word count?

14,505 words so far. Many more to come, I hope.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Kadala ~ The Mandalorian (G/complete/1197 words)

My first fic for Star Wars! I wrote it in the high after the season 1 finale of the Mandalorian because I fell in love with Din and Grogu.

Rough Awakening ~ The Bad Batch (T/wip/5,922 words of ?)

I have to thank the tbb fandom for this. In a very short time, you guys have given me so much love through kudos and comments on this fic. As you know, I'm obsessed with Crosshair's chip and refuse to believe that he took it out, so this is my way to deal with that. Also, it's the prequel to another one that i'm working on.

Rescue in Ryloth ~ The Bad Batch (T/complete/670 words)

My first for TBB. I wrote this so fast, which is a rare thing for me. But the leaking of the trailer for that episode sent me into a writing frenzy. It didn't go in the episode as I thought it would, but you can blame me for dreaming, right? 😉

Drifting ~ The Mandalorian (G/complete/574 words)

Based on the season 2 trailer. A way more angsty take than it really was about what I thought it'd happen to tin dad and his green son while the half-destroyed Razor Crest (RIP) drifted through space.

Road To Lira San ~ Rebels [Kalluzeb] (T/wip/3556 words of ?)

This one is very dear to my heart because it's for the 2 most idiotic fools in love of the galaxy! Seriously, when I started watching Rebels and reading fics for the show and I saw many of them were for this ship I was like... What? Zeb with Kallus? Really? People ships whatever 🙄🙄 Oh, but then one single episode changed it all and I had to eat my own words 😝 I know it seems I have abandoned it but no! I promise! I have several chapters done but not the one I suppose to update next!! Ugh!

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Usually, yes. I think that it's a way to let know the readers that you appreciate their support. If I don't, it's because I'm busy and I have a large queue of them to reply

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I always write happy(ish) endings for my fics, or at least, that's what I aim for. From my completed fics, I think Kadala is the happiest one. It's a fluffy one-shot with hurt/comfort where everything goes well in the end.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Drifting. It's has an open ending that you could take it to angsty side if you want. Although, I made a end note saying everything works out in the end. Like I said before, I always picture/write happy endings, not matter how much angst I throw along the way there

do you write crossovers?

I started working on 2 of them for one of my other fandoms but never finished/published them. If the idea/opportunity presents itself, i probably would do it for Star Wars at some point.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have, once, a long time ago. In fact, I just remembered that because recently someone liked a post I made back then and I saw this other post below of me talking about it. Honestly, at the time, I chose not to give the power to the person who wrote the hate comment and ignored it. So much that I TOTALLY forgot about it. That's the best way to deal with it. Do not engage with bullies/hateful people.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Oh yes! I have nothing published for SW yet, but I will this coming October because I'll participating in kinktober (among other [fill the blank]-tober challenges). I must confess that I feel comfortable writing all kinds of smut, from sweet and not graphic to hardcore kinky stuff. I have only a few squicks about it.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, once that I know of. It felt so awful. It was in my infancy as a fic writer, almost 20 years ago. It was in a small fandom were (as usual) there was a ship war and it was so bad that the site where I posted had 2 separate sections, one for each ship. But one troll came with the fantastic idea 😒 of plagiarizing the fics from a side and publishing them on the other side, creating a new user (almost identical to the original author adding a period in the name so it seemed it was the author indeed) and changing the name of the protagonist. If it wasn't for a friend of mine that liked both ships and read works on both sides that she noticed my work, the thief might've gotten away with it. Later I found out that this person was doing the same thing to several others

Hardly a pleasant experience.

have you ever had a fic translated?

I have translated some of my own fics to Spanish. And someone asked once if they could translate one of my fics into Russian if I'm not mistaken but I didn't feel comfortable with that because I didn't know this person at all, so I didn't give my permission.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, 2 times. Both were great experiences. The first was back in the day in an old fandom, and then years later I met @tdgal1 and, shamelessly bragging here, we worked magic together.

I'm always open to working with other authors but it has to be with the right type of person. If not it can turn into a nightmarish experience

what’s your all-time favorite ship?

This is a difficult question if I include all my fandoms. So, I'm restricting myself to star wars, and without a doubt, I have to say Kalluzeb! Their story is so, so good! I won't say everything I like about them because this post will end up being ten times longer than what it's going to be. All I'll say is that I feel lucky that they had a happy ending in canon which is extremely rare.

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Several ones for my old fandoms, especially for Arrow (except for one, a sequel for one already finished). And I plan finishing ALL my star wars fics. It might take me a while but I'm not abandoning them

what are your writing strengths?

Coming up with ideas. I have so many!

what are your writing weaknesses?

Executing those ideas 😆 especially multichaptered fics. I suffer from New Shiny Idea Syndrome and sometimes a new idea doesn't leave me alone, torments me to the point of distraction for my other ongoing projects

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Less is more. It can be used but sparingly and in small amounts. A word here, a phrase there, yes. A entire conversation, big fat no. There are ways to convey that characters are using a different language without having the readers to look the author's note to understand what they're talking about.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Floricienta 🤭🙈 which was an Argentinian show, basically a musical modern Cinderella

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

From all my star wars fics, I must say "Rough Awakening" and "Road to Lira San". There are very dear to me for different reasons but both have special places in my heart.

No pressure tags @photogirl894 @specter-7-reporting-in @webtrinsic1122 @rachaelkelleher @hixystix @fantasyproductions

#writing tag game #tbb #the bad batch #sw rebels #the mandalorian #get to know me as a fic writer #rough awakening #drifting #road to lira san #kadala #rescue in ryloth #star wars #long post

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meandmyechoes · 4 years ago

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Something I wrote May 8th, 2020 02:44 about Rebels that I forgot to publish. But actually contain a lot of context for how I feel about reusing Ahsoka in general. I formally apologize for every ill will I had for Rebels Ahsoka’s design.

hot take: I don’t like Rebelsoka. Yeah, as if you can sum up my opinion like that.

Why I don’t like her is a really petty and subjective bias, so I am not being fair. The real problem I have with Rebelsoka was mostly my personal lack of enthusiasm in her art style and early on her role was... replaceable. Her unique place is as an ex-Jedi, which is why I’m glad and more accepting when they turn her story away from the Rebellion to focus on Jedi Business. Her early lines in Rebels was... delivering information that could easily been given to another rebellion officer. And it felt off to switch from that unsure teenager to this full-blown wise mentor.

With everything, the final verdict is of course, Rebelsoka is amazing. In the end the potential outweighs my complaints. Yeah, information feeder, cryptic vocabularies or poor cosmetic choices can be forgive in exchange for awesome duels, delightful mentoring and GOSH THAT ANGSTY “ANAKIN”. not that i hope we see more ahsoka stories but i hope we see more ahsoka stories you know. more than that 45 minutes of it ◔̯◔

As a TCW traditionalist, of course that was my definition of Star Wars. Bitter of replacement was a common feeling in the year 2015, but I’m also reasonable enough to expect a major stylistic change with Disney’s acquisition. So all in all, I am glad we at least have another show instead of none at all.

Even though I dropped out, I was there for Rebels in the beginning. If nothing, I learnt from Clone Wars not to underestimate a Season 1. Yes, no one from the Ghost crew captivated me the way Ahsoka did, but I liked them all equally. It was an enjoyable show when I judged it as an exposition and sanely do not compare it to the finale that Clone Wars was building. So Ahsoka coming back at the end of Season 1 really put me in a difficult place, when I thought I could move on to this new family, having accepted her departure.There were rumours, but I kinda expected her to set off the S2 premiere instead. I was also spoiled of that very last minute of revelation. Anyway, when she came back, and I heard Ashley’s voice, I just broke into tears. It’s literally a resurrection. I also couldn’t believe, that I actually get to see Ahsoka again in my life, and that she is suddenly so mature and wise.

It was difficult for me to adjust for two reasons: the art style and her maturity. I guess now I could put myself next to Anakin in 709 describing how I felt meeting Ahsoka again. I also really hated her art style in Rebels initially. She was... streamlined? had slick skin, but her lekku stripes are jagged, and i never get to see how her lekku grew into the shape they are now. and her whole facial patterns are different too?? and she actually doesn’t have clear sky blue eyes anymore? but somehow has deep purple eyes? and just all around no-no with the art style when it first came out. The style wasn’t an issue when you don’t have the my favourite as a veteran character for comparison. (say you don’t see me complaining about Hondo that much but didn’t they do him dirty) Even though I had no problem with her outfit or headdress, it’s just not my favourite of hers. and the fact that they’re forcing me to watch a cartoon character lined with age! and how tired she looks, with wrinkles! and pouches under her eyes! don’t do this to my poor daughter! let her stay happy and carefree as a 14-year-old 5ever! (18-year-old me holding an angry PTA sign)

It also closed a book on however I want her to be. stupid war in the stars making me accept canon. I would’ve been content with her just leaving and staying alive, when every fan set out on her dying before RotS. Yeah maybe she threw her entire ‘life’ away but at least, she’s not, dead you know. And seeing her thrown into another war, threw herself into another war, I wan’t sure I could handle that. The grief, the guilt, the regret, the sight of not seeing her standing by her family again. (good lord Filoni gave us the Rex and Ahsoka hug ;_;) I just want her to stay happy and carefree in my head okay?

and that constant battle of wanting to see more of your favourite character but also level enough to not want her to steal the spotlight form a promising new cast? and the lowkey distrust towards Disney that they brought in Ahsoka to trick more audience into a less-popular show? as a fake-ass apology? Are you suppose I’m ever gonna forgive you for cancelling Clone Wars even though you brought back its characters and basically made a TCW sequel? Are you asking me to overlook the damage, done to both TCW veteran characters AND Rebel’s originality if you don’t do it right? And when they really don’t give us much Ahsoka mid-season it was kind of.... *deflating high-to-low 7-note crescendo* If Disney is actually giving us “what the fans want”, it’s because we damn well deserve that apology without ever needing to forgive, less alone thank.

So anyway, I did dropped out of Rebels after the Season 2 finale. A bit of real world reasons too because I was getting busy in college and I have Rider, an all-year-round show to fall back on. So i just totally turned away from Star Wars in general after March 2016 where it was dead dead for Clone Wars. I caught up a bit of S3 but never finished it, and I’ve been on and off trying to do it to recover from TLJ but it didn’t feel enough (+ plus real busy irl)

I only even found out Ahsoka the White on social media and was utterly confused. Not sure if it was the best decision creative-wise then, and frankly hand’t given much thought since. But I definitely don’t mind Ahsoka Not Dying. I think I have more questions directed to this girl in person on her life and fashion and spaceship choices more than anything. You just sort of reached a point where like god let them rest.

I only wrapped up the series before I saw Walkabout. And there was like a 3-month gap since I started rewtaching late January after ep9. But I ran through the last season in 2, 3 days? It was really good. I didn’t expect it focus on just one planet, but the plot was good, even though the primary enforcer villain monkey just looks meh. Somehow strangely, the character I grew attached to is Kallus. You know, he is not in the main cast whatsoever so he really may not die? And the whole time as the finale draws closer I just was on the edge of my seat hoping none of my faves die. (Yeah the only mistake that finale made was sacrificing Gregor. not nice Dave.)

And the epilogue was amazing. The resolution again subverts expectation in a good way and gave us what’s plausible but not expected. And I love how the show actually balanced warfare and lore. The mythological episodes border on fantasy fairy tales but it still suits my taste. The balance is actually better done here than on Clone Wars. In a show titled Clone Wars, you kind of expect it to be about Clones and Wars. But Rebels connected the spiritual journey of the characters to the wider warfare. They needed the Force to train and guide them to their victory. And this prominence of the Force as a plot element and narrative influence is something I found missing in the later seasons of the Clone Wars (6 not withstanding).

The show made me genuinely escalates in loving these characters and gave us a well-rounded, complete Star Wars experience. It’s not my favourite, but it’s definitely a good show.

#tcw reviews #myechoes #why am i defending myself over nothing #this is a bit long and could be counted as meta but is actually devoid of reading of the text lol #ahsoka tano #star wars

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d20trashcan · 5 years ago

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Lmao rlly? I just assume all fandom blogs I like the content of are around 3k asfhsdjf... no idea you were so new to this you give off big blog energy

I think its because of my 9 years of social media centered towards fandoms. I’m 21 so almost half of my life was devoted to fandoms, creating and getting involved in any kind of fandom creativity, from fanfiction writing to roleplaying ocs.

I started out on deviantart, with my first account solely focused on one anime fandom. I wrote alot of xReader fanfiction and got oddly popular there. Its probably my second highest follower count.

A year later, I discovered tumblr through a dear friend, a bit before peak tumblr. I also got involved in that anime fandom there as well. Fun fact, I apparently created legendary memes in that fandom that seems to still be shared. And when I say legendary, I mean like an average of 1K likes and probably more cause they have been shared outside deviantart still only got a bit less than 300 watchers there

After a while, I started getting into Superwholock, more so towards Doctor Who than the rest. I had a balance of those 2 fandoms for a long time. in both deviantart and Doctor Who.

However, somethings happened and I left that anime fandom and created a new deviantart. I forgot why but I wanted to just cut myself off from that fandom. Around this time, I had been deep into One Piece, especially the One Piece OC fandom.

I don’t think many people know this, but my passion had always been making OCs. My oldest oc was a One Piece OC that I still have now and kicking. My deviantart was where I posted alot about my op ocs. I owe alot to One Piece and its influence to my life. I wouldnt have the friends, experience, or even art skills without it.

After awhile, I kinda dropped the Doctor Who fandom as Superwholock ended. I became a jack of all trades in fandom, where I knew different fandoms and was into anything from video games, Youtubers, anime, books, and the like, but I was still focused on One Piece.

After a a year or two, I got into rp on tumblr. I made an rp account for my op ocs and did stupid things here and there with my friends in the community. My art skills were still not that great at the time nor was my writing skills but I kept going at it.

Even then, I dropped that rp account to focus on other things like art and more oc development and creation. It was during the time of Mary Sue witch hunting. If you were a part of the One Piece oc community, you will know what I’m talking about. It was around this time i was more active on tumblr than deviantart. There is just a easier way of sharing art and creative works here than on deviantart, where you would need a strong following to even get your work noticed.

During 2014-2015, my experience as a oc creator went to a next level. So a tdlr in the op oc fandom. Because of the anime and its pirate crews, its common to have people create ocs for preexisting pirate crews. During that 2 year time period, I decided to create a original pirate crew called the Nemesis Pirates. I won’t go into big detail, but this pirate crew was and still is my main ocs. Anyone in the OP OC community who know me will only know me by my pirate crew. I received a lot of love for my pirates and my art skills were improving very vastly. I also started writing more, but alot of it was never published work. Around this time, I got into sports animes as well and made a lot of ocs for them.

Right before college, a huge event struck and hit me emotionally bad. Thats when I really got into the rp fandom hard. I created a new op oc and made an exclusively op oc rp blog to cope. People really liked my oc and I got pretty active and kinda popular in rp terms. That stayed like that for about 4-5 months. Then university started and I got my first relationship. There was so many things to balance, I just had not enough time to devote my time to the rp blog so I left. I was so busy, I even had no time to really get into my art or basically the OP OC community and was kinda inactive for 2 years. The only thing that kept me even involved was my discord group.

During 2018, this is where things changed a bit. I got back into OPOC creation and talking to my friends and also that’s when I was introduced to DnD. I think out of my friend group in college, I was the most passionate because DnD is not that different from OC creation and rping so I was like basically prepared. I got back into art but for some reason, my art was incredibly stagnant. It didn’t improve but it felt like I had regressed. It was a pretty low point in my art career.

However, that didn’t stop me from wanting to enter a Webtoon contest. Around June there was a contest to make a webtoon comic and I wanted to enter. I...uh...never even got to publish the first episode. I did en up publishing the first episode around Dec 2019 but thats because I felt like I might as well get something out of my hard work. My art steadily got a tinge better in 2019, my wrtiing also improved slightly. I was a bit more active in the OPOC fandom. I even made an instagram for my art and ocs. Summer 2019 happened, drama was brewed and I was left alone for Fall 2019. I missed my old friends and I missed the times we had together but we all couldn’t go back to those times.

One night, I was going through tumblr and found posts about Dimension 20. Some were about “Are you My Dad” some were about going up a corn monster’s butt. I knew of Dimension 20 because for like a year, ads for it was spamming my videos. It was late night, I was depressed and bored and they had episodes on Youtube. And in 2 days, I finished Fantasy High. In one day, I finished EFTBK and in 3 days I caught up with The Unsleeping City. These were the best days of that year because also during that time, my favorite Youtuber , Markiplier was made a Youtube Red series and a Audio Story podcast. I was drowning in content and I was even talking to my discord friends much more often. I was lonely, a bit depressed, and still hurt from the Summer but I wasn’t fully alone.

Fantasy High went by and strong, I was more active with the OPOC fandom on instagram and Discord, oddly enough. Because of the quarantine, I had more time to make art and I somehow have improved so much. A Crown of Candy was on the horizon and I thought to myself, I know live blogs, I’ve seen people on twitter. why I don’t try it. I’ll just live blog the first episode.

One April 4, right after the last episode of Fantasy High Live, I made d20trashcan. I just made a few memes here and there and people liked them. The first episode came out, I lied blog, made some memes and was gonna call it a day. Yeah, well we can see what happened.

A month later, I’m at single digits away from reaching 400 followers, creating a Webtoon, gained huge art improvement.

TDLR: I’m a huge nerd and people seem to like that

#personal #trashcans comments #sorry this is long but i figured this would give some perspective #Anonymous

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blackmissfrizzle · 5 years ago

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Truth Hurts

Title: Truth Hurts

Characters: Dean x black!reader, Sam, Chuck, and Castiel

Summary: Dean finds out that the reader knows he cheated on her with Anna.

A/N: a companion fic for A Match Made in Hell. I’ll be doing more of these to detail Dean’s and the reader’s relationship at different times. Also, no tags this time. I’ll probably update later.

Based off episode 4x18

“I’m full-frontal in here, dude.” Dean complained as he read the newly discovered books about your lives.

This was supposed to be a regular case. The three of you went to a comic book store, investigating for a case, when the clerk asked if you were LARPing and then proceeded to tell you about the ‘Supernatural’ books.

Now you were sprawled in the bed with Dean, reading about your confession of love to Dean before he went to Hell. Whoever this Carver Edlund guy was, he sure did have a way with words.

Sam was sitting at the table with his laptop delving into the ‘fandom’ of Supernatural. Dean took the laptop and to his pleasure he found out there were some Dean girls, but he lost it when he found out there was some Dean/Sam girls. Hey, to each their own.

Most of the feedback on you was positive. They loved that you were a total badass, but some were rightfully pissed that you lied about your family lineage to the boys. There were some racist trolls, because God forbid a black girl gains the attention of one of the world’s perfect specimen. Oh, if they only knew the truth about their precious Dean Winchester.

“Do people really think you and Sam make a better couple? This is blasphemy!” Dean slammed Sam’s laptop in annoyance.

You had to give it to Dean, he put on a good performance. He almost convinced you he was the perfect boyfriend, but you remembered that you caught him with Anna unbeknownst to him.

“Hmmm, I think me and Sam would make a cute couple.” Sam smirked at his older brother and Dean had to hold himself back from smacking it off his face.

Dean pulled you out of your seat and into his lap. He gave you a kiss, which you didn’t return with as much enthusiasm and it was becoming more frequent. After, you guys find Carver Edlund, Dean decided he would talk to you to figure out what’s going on.

Thanks to proving you were ‘super fans’ of Supernatural and a bit of oversharing from the publisher you were able to find Carver Edlund aka Chuck Shurley.

Sam, Dean, and you find yourselves knocking on the door of a cute little house. When Chuck first answered the door he thought you three were playing a joke when Dean introduced y’all. He still thought it was a joke when you showed him the arsenal in Baby’s trunk. It wasn’t until Dean said his last name and you switched your eyes to black did he believe you.

You found yourself with Sam and Dean, in Chuck’s quaint home that was littered with empty beer bottles.

“Oh, you’re still there!” Chuck jumped when he turned around to you three.

“Yup.”

“You’re not a hallucination?”

“Nope.” Dean popped the p while standing there irritated.

Soon, Chuck went on a rant that he was a cruel and capricious God. He kept detailing almost every awful thing that happened to the boys and then asked them if they truly lived through certain events.

“And you,” Chuck steered his gaze towards you. “All those nightmares about hell and then to find Dean cheating on you with an angel no less!”

You couldn’t stop Chuck from revealing your secrets, but the murderous look on your face told him that he made a big mistake.

“I’m sorry, I…I…I forgot he didn’t know yet.” Chuck immediately apologized. He knew your powers could get out of control if you were extremely emotional and he didn’t want to be a target.

Too bad for Chuck, you were embarrassed and pissed. The boys were looking at you with pity and you needed to get out of there fast. You stormed out the house, ignoring Dean’s pleas and when you slammed the door you sent objects flying off the shelves with your powers.

Dean gripped Chuck by the collar, upset with him for revealing his big mistake but more upset that he knew he just broke whatever he had with you.

Sam pulled him back, even though all he wanted to do was punch Dean himself. “C’mon dude, let him go.”

After everything settled down, Chuck explained what he was writing next. He told the brothers that he wrote himself into the book confronted by his characters.

You were pacing down the sidewalk, trying to rid yourself of the anger when the boys came out. Sam threw you an apologetic look before he got into the Impala.

Dean reached for your hand, but you moved to escape his reach and he knew right then he lost you.

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Not now. I just wanna figure out how Chuck is doing what he does and do a bit of laundry, ok?” You kept your gaze hard, you didn’t want Dean to know he had this much of an affect on you. He shooked his head yes and dropped the topic. Dean knew better than to push your buttons when you’re already pissed.

At the laundromat, Dean was reading the transcript that Chuck gave him. He was exactly describing the scene before you. It captured your irritated bitch face and Sam’s brooding shoulders.

Needing some space from Dean you exited the laundromat, but not too long after Dean followed you.

“What did Shurley mean by nightmares?” Dean asked barely above a whisper. He knew it was better to ease into his infidelity instead of jumping in.

Not making eye contact with your boyfriend, you fumbled with the bracelet he gave you. “When you came back, I started having nightmares. They started once we slept in the bed together. At first, I didn’t know what they were, but soon I figured out it was your time in hell. I saw everything, Dean!” Tears were streaming down your face.

“I saw how Alistair cut into you and tortured you. How he would use my face, Sam’s, and Bobby’s, to mess with you. I saw and felt everything! I felt your joy when you took Alastair’s deal and jumped off the rack to put bodies on and torture.”

Dean’s adam’s apple bobbed as he tried to contain his own tears. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

You wiped away a tear and gave Dean a dry laugh. “Because I was trying to do the healthy thing and let you tell me on your own time. I didn’t want to make you talk until you were ready. But it turns out you just didn’t want to talk to me. I should’ve known better. Eventually, you couldn’t wait on me any longer and you would go back to your usual type.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Y/N I did not sleep with Anna because we haven’t had sex yet or because she’s supposedly my type.”

“Then why?”

Dean hung his head in guilt and licked his lips before he answered. “Because she got it. She told me she knew about what happened in hell and I shouldn’t blame myself. Y/N, I thought if I told you I would lose you forever and I can’t bear the thought without you in my life.”

This time you made no attempt to wipe away your tears. You looked at Dean through blurry eyes and replied with venom in your voice. “Well, great job Winchester, you just lost me.”

Each of you stared at the other, mourning the loss of your relationship. Sam came out the laundromat and looked guilty for interrupting the intimate moment. “Ummm, Chuck called he said there’s an emergency.”

Grateful for the interruption, you ran to grab your laundry and went to Baby. When you met up with Chuck, he told you that Lilith was coming and she and Sam were going to have sex in ”…throes of fiery demonic passion.” Ugh, disgusting!

It turned out that Lilith is not possessing a child anymore and was now a dental hygienist. Well, at least according to Chuck she was hot.

Sam laughed at the idea of him and Lilith together, but Dean didn’t find it funny. I’m fact, he took Chuck’s transcript as a ‘what not to do’. There’s was no research for Sam, no bacon cheeseburger for Dean , no fighting between the brothers, and no refereeing for you. But all that went to hell. The waitress accidentally gave Dean the wrong burger, the boys managed to argue in a calm manner, and you still ended up getting in the middle while scrolling through your phone.

All three of you had your own mission to avoid Chuck’s vision. Sam had to stay locked up in the motel room, Dean had to park his car to avoid driving around in it all day, and you had to stay away from your father, which should be easy.

After Dean left you and Sam in the motel room, Sam tried to get you to talk about your feelings and he even gave you the puppy-dog eyes, but you couldn’t do it. So, you left the room and somehow ended up at a park bench.

Suddenly you felt an unwanted presence next to you. You were about to pull out your gun, but someone gripped your wrist before you could. That someone was your demon father.

“How did you find me?”

“I was monitoring your power usage, since someone doesn’t call.” He nudged your shoulder.

Rolling your eyes, you scooted further away from him. “Maybe someone would call you if you didn’t murder their mother and try to make them lead a demon army.”

“You got a point. But I’m here to talk.” He gave you a fatherly pat on your knee. “Before Alistair untimely death due to your boyfriend and his brother.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame he died before his time,” you dramatically rolled your eyes.

“Anyway, before he died he told me that a certain Winchester slept with that fallen angel. And as a father, I’m trying my hardest not to rip his throat out.” Your father’s eyes flashed to black for a millisecond.

It must’ve been keeping your emotions bottled up, because you ended up sobbing in your father’s lap. Despite being a demon, your father was soothing and held you.

For a moment, you believed you two were a regular father and daughter until a ping from your phone brought you back to reality. Dean texted you, saying that you needed to come back to the motel room ASAP.

“Winchester calls and you just drop everything and go running, huh?” Your father was angry at how fast you moved for Dean.

“You has to ruin the moment. Just don’t bother contacting me anymore.” You were walking away when your dad left you with one parting statement.

“It’s inevitable, Y/N. We’ll break all the seals and you’ll be fighting on our side one way or another. Stop tricking yourself into thinking you’re a hunter or a conduit of good. Hell, Dean even slept with a literal angel before you. Maybe he knows deep down that someday you’ll reach your true demonic potential.”

Anxiety, fear, and tears suffocated your throat. Your dad said all the things you feared ever since you met the Winchesters. Not trusting your voice, you flipped the bird at your dad.

By the time you got back, Sam and Dean were arguing. Supposedly, Chuck was a prophet and everything he writes comes true. Oh, you guys were screwed. Dean was bent on leaving town before Lilith got there, but Sam wanted to take the opportunity and fight.

The fight was getting bad, Dean brought up how Sam’s been using his psychic powers to kill Alistair and you took that as your cue to leave the room. Sometimes it was best not to get in the middle of their fights.

Leaning against Baby and drinking some water, you were contemplating your life with the Winchesters when Dean came storming out the room.

“Sam’s stuck on staying?”

Dean wiped down his face in frustration. “Yeah. He’s just ugh.” Dean finally took in your demeanor and noticed the puffiness of your eyes. He reached to grab your hand and this time you didn’t pull away.

“I’m gonna take a guess here, according to Chuck, you should’ve met with your demonic daddy. How that go?”

“Surprisingly good. He threatened to rip your throat out and I might just take him up on that. Then, he had to rant on about my silly demonic potential. You know the usual stuff.” You waved your hand in dismissal.

Dean opened up hid mouth to apologize, but you stopped him. “I don’t need your apology. After this I’m gonna go to Bobby’s and help him find out how to stop the breaking of the seals.”

The fluttering of angel wings broke the uneasy silence between you and Dean after your declaration. Dean begged his angelic friend to find some way to interfere, but Cas claimed it was fate. However, in so many words Castiel suggested we get Chuck near Lilith and an archangel would come.

With the threat of getting shot, Chuck complied with the plan and you guys succeeded. Lilith smoked out of her meat suit and Sam was saved.

Immediately you grabbed your duffle bag and your car keys. You felt a tug on your bag before you could throw it in the trunk.

“I’m not gonna apologize again because I know you don’t want to hear it now and I’m not gonna beg you to stay with me, because you deserve better. Just please let me know when you get to Bobby’s.” Although, Dean didn’t say those words, his green eyes did. You could feel his apology but you didn’t want to accept it, you were still angry at him and yourself.

Swallowing back some tears, you gave Dean a head nod and continued to pack up. Once you got settled into your driver’s seat is when you finally replied to your boyfriend/ex-boyfriend. “Thanks. I’ll let you know when I make it. And umm,” you were fiddling with your keys to rid yourself of your nervous energy. “I’m gonna use this time to figure out want I wanna do with our relationship, k.”

Dean slowly smiled at his chance to earn you back. “That all I can ask for sweetheart.”

You pull out of the parking lot and kept your eyes in the rear view mirror to look at Dean until he disappeared from your view.

#black!reader #dean winchester x black!reader #dean x black!reader #spnfamily #spn fanfic #supernatural fandom #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #spnfandom #spn #dean winchester x you #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #chuck supernatural #chuck shurley

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juicemitio · 5 years ago

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Alright I went to Louisville Galaxycon and saw Travis and Clint twice, for their worldbuilding workshop and their Q&A. Here's some interesting stuff I learned (I didn't include stuff they talked about that's pretty common knowledge or they talked about on the last ttazz)

Graduation

Fitzroy was originally going to be a jock that was weak bc he no longer had a team, Travis told Griffin that that didn't really work for the world so they reframed it as him training to be a hero, was great academically and behaviorally, but had a problem no one had seen before and no one felt like dealing with. It specifically wasn't "barbarian fails bc he can't keep his rage in check," it was that no one was willing to deal with his magic so they shipped him off

Someone asked Travis to explain fitzroy's magic, so from the DM's mouth- he's a barbarian subtype with elemental magic which has a random effect while raging, which we haven't seen yet (path of the wild soul if you want to look it up and see what he can do) and he took a feat which gives him the ability to cast 3 cantrips of his choosing. What I thought was interesting was that Travis described Fitz's magic using the word "elemental" twice, even though that isn't specifically stated in the path of the wild soul entry

Travis knows Argo's secret and is very excited about it

Clint has a pirate fiction book he reads every night before they record to get into the headspace to play Argo, he told us the name but I forgot it

There is one small little concept that made the whole of graduation make sense to Travis and is what the arc will be about, and he only figured it out a few days before recording. Obviously he didn't tell us what it was

Originally it was going to start with everyone starting at age 11 and slowly killing the other kids off, but Justin didn't feel comfortable playing a game surrounded by kids dying

The accounting scene is already one of Travis' all time favorite taz scenes

The pegasus scene informed Travis on exactly how he was going to treat the firbolg

Also Travis referred to Justin's character exclusively as "the firbolg," which means "master firbolg" is solely a thing going on with the npcs in the game which I find hilarious. They just all decided to give him a dope title bc he deserves it, meanwhile no one will call Fitzroy "sir"

To Fitzroy, social threats are an extremely real and serious thing, like the Biggest thing to him (we were talking about what characters found threatening in the workshop, for context)

There's some big concept/idea that comes up in the next episode that travis almost let spill and had to quickly stop himself from saying it

Someone mentioned eating breakfast in their question in the workshop and Travis goofed on it for a second, then said "cereal world" suddenly, and Clint had to pick up the question bc Travis had to take a second to make a note of it in his phone

Travis started brainstorming graduation in March and they recorded the first episode in October, and his main job in that time was working on graduation

Before Buckminster was adapted for graduation he could not fight at all, if he got into a fight he would die, he poured everything into charisma and could talk his way out of any fight (even the big bad of the game he crit 20d his check and the big bad walked away from the fight)

Travis is really into psychology and how if you assign a label to someone they're going to act more like it (ie you tell a kid they're amazing and smart and talented and they become more like that, you tell a kid they're annoying and dumb and a problem they become more like that), and how that was a major contributor to play into hero/villain/sidekick/henchperson dynamics, you get assigned this arbitrary title of good/evil/subservient and you become like that to fit the role, and then the inevitable pushing against that mold

Travis is fully aware of his story being compared to harry potter and he doesn't care bc it's apt (people in a school arbitrarily divided into four groups and one of them is the Bad One), also he knows people describe it as "sky high meets Harry Potter meets my hero academia" and he actually finds that really flattering bc he thinks that sounds cool and like something he'd want to watch

On that note, Travis is a self-identified Slytherin and he's always upheld that the reason Slytherin is depicted in a bad light is bc Rowling decided she didn't like them, and he's always sympathized with the idea of a first year Slytherin working their ass off following the rules and doing their work and getting points, and Dumbledore rewards three idiots for breaking like every rule and pulls the trophy away from you. This was a big inspiration for graduation, of one group getting a bad rep and being portrayed as evil for literally no reason

Amnesty

Clint & Travis's favorite scene they've ever done together was Ned & Aubrey's final scene together

Aubrey and Dani do move in with each other at the end of amnesty

Balance

Travis' main emotion around taz is pride and he's most proud of the scene in stolen century with the spirits in the robots, bc they had to record it a second time bc it got way too dark and ended in a really grim way and about 20 min after they finished they all decided that they weren't happy with it, that it didn't fit the tone, he's really proud they didn't just leave it be and they took the second pass at it to make it right

I'm pretty sure he's talked about wanting to kill Magnus off at the beginning before but he mentioned that it was only at the end of petals to the metal he actually realized he wanted Magnus to live, bc Hurley had to sacrifice herself to save Magnus bc Magnus had been so reckless, that hit Travis really hard. Travis realized that Magnus' recklessness was getting people hurt and so Magnus did too, so Magnus become a bit more cautious and took up rogue training to try not to get anyone killed again

Dust

Dust wasn't designed to be anything more than a one off and the workload was completely unsustainable, the document of notes for dust was about 100 pages and only about 10% of it got used

The reason Travis loved it so much was bc it was a mystery and he found it really fun

Commitment

Clint would love to revisit commitment, but probably not in podcast form bc he didn't find himself really being in the moment as much bc of all the different things he had to keep track of, he'd like to see a comic adaptation/continuation if possible

It was based of a comic he wrote that never got published bc the company producing it failed (he still cashed his paycheck) so he reused it bc he still liked it a lot, it was about how America was founded as a monarchy instead of a democracy and what that changed in the usa's (united sovereignty of america's) history, and how people now were fighting to establish a democracy. Also there were cowboys and spaceships and other cool stuff he put in there bc he liked it

General adventure zone

The reason why they're are able to do romantic relationships w/o being weirded out by it (they joke about it but they don't actually care) is bc it's never done in an explicit or sexual way and since it's the decision the characters would make to pursue the relationship then that's the decision they make. He reframed it as it wouldn't be weird if a family were writing a script together and there was a romance and one person wrote lines for one character and the other wrote lines for the other. He did mention that two siblings playing characters in a relationship as actors on screen wouldn't be cool though

They sometimes get comments that some of the stuff they do is "fanservice," but they feel that they owe their success to their fans and they owe some to them

They are both aware of and proud that Justin is the best at character creation, Clint specifically really was talking about how Justin's strong suit is definitely character creation and characterization

General mcelroy stuff

They walked pretty close to me when they entered the stage room for the q&a and like… they're short, like shorter than you think

Travis referred to his unborn child as "baby dod" (I'm not 100% certain but I'm pretty sure) which I looked up and is a nickname for George, and given with their older kid being named Barbera and nicknamed BeBe and Travis talking before about how he and his wife like classic names with cool nicknames it makes sense

Travis had an earing in his right ear, I didn't get to see his left ear and I couldn't tell if it was an actual piercing or a fake, it looked really good though. Also his tinted glasses look a lot cooler irl than they do in pictures

Clint told the teenage mutant Ninja turtle story with the signatures that griffin told on mbmbam, but Clint remembered it as happening at King's Island, not Disney. This story was prompted by the question of the biggest lie he ever told his kids, and he only came clean about this a few months ago

Travis told a story about how he finished a videogame when he was younger and was so excited that he picked up a plastic knife, yelled "throwing knife!" threw it directly at Griffin who dodged it and it hit and shattered a window

#taz #taz graduation #taz amnesty #taz balance #taz commitment #taz dust #travis mceloy #clint mcelroy #mbmbam #mcelroys #also i left out the actual worldbuilding tips bc the workshop is something you pay for and it wouldnt be fair if they wanted to do it again

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zanybohbot · 4 years ago

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The Outsiders: Camp Squit

The Outsiders: Camp Squit (Episode 4)

Published: 10-19-19 - Updated: 10-21-19

Squit planned an idea of what's happening in this weekend as he planned to go camping with Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. Will the others ruin it for him? Will it cause cringy chaos? Read what happens and find out. This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders.

Part 1: The Arrival

(Brain is driving in the woods with Squit, Pinky, Pesto and Wakko for their camping trip.)

Squit: As we're near, I thought I'd run through the itinerary for this weekend.

Wakko: What's an itinerary?

Pesto: (annoyed) Squit's way of taking the piss outta everything?

Squit: No, it's just a schedule of what we'll do and when we'll do it.

Pinky: Okay, item one, get your shit off my side of the car! (pushes Squit's suitcase)

Squit: It's not shit. It's essentials for everyone to make the trip more enjoyable!

Pinky: Oh, really? (Gets out Monopoly from Squit's suitcase) Monopoly?! Y'fuckin' serious?! This is tha most shitty-ass game you've ever bought! Look. All we need is beer and weed and I've got plenty of both.

Squit: Why have you brought a load of weed?

Pinky: In case I get lucky and stoned.

Squit: But we're camping by a lake near a woods.

Pinky: Listen, all these country bitches love some big city diugh.

Squit: You're not from the big city!

Pinky: Well growing up in da hood counts as a city to them!

Brain: (frustrated) Pesto, look at the map, please! Where is it?!

Pesto (checks phone) Uhhh...I dunno. It's around here somewhere. Th-the next left or something.

Brain: (sarcastically) And that's what Google Maps says, "The next left or something"?

Pesto: Sorry, dude, I'm running outta brain juice. What if I have to literally give birth with the babe from Walmart I had sex with? Can you imagine how fuckin' disgusting that'll be, watching that baby getting squeezed outta her ass?

Squit: Okay, I've got some news, Pesto. Do ya...

Pesto: Oh, here we are, B. Turn left.

(Brain turns left to the nearest forest.)

Brain: Oh, Jesus Christ, it stinks. Is it near a pig farm, Pesto?

Pesto: Sorry, that was me. It just slipped out.

(they all gag and moan by the smell)

Pinky: What?! (holds nose)

Brain: Ugh! I can't believe that's the smell of your ass!

Squit: I think I'm gonna throw up!

Wakko: I can fucking see it! It's like a brown mist!

(Squit N/R: Despite Pesto's anxious bowels burning our eyes and choking our lungs, we made it to the forest. I'd researched this place online and it certainly delivered. Secluded. Remote. Beautiful.)

(All 5 were standing in the forest.)

Pesto: So...where do we shit?

Squit: What?

Pesto: When we need to shit, where do we shit?

Pinky: Hang on, he's right. Where are we gonna shit?

Squit: Well, usually, you'd place a trench at least.

Pesto: Well, what trench, smart-ass?!

Squit: The toilet trench.

Wakko: Where you place the public bathrooms?

Squit: No, it's where you DO a public bathroom.

Pesto: (whacks Squit in the head) Fuck you, I'm not shittin' in a trench! Dafuq's the matter with ya?!

Pinky: Dude, you're fuckin' high.

Brain: I'm not going near a hole filled with your shit!

Squit: (rubbing his head) No. We each get our own trench. That's what I'm sayin'.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK. Yeah 'coz that makes sense!

Wakko: We're camping surrounded by shit?

Pinky: No! No-one's shittin' in a trench! That's disgustin', I'm not gonna do it! We'll have to drive to tha bar or a convenience store or something.

Pesto: Shit there?

Pinky: Shit there.

Wakko: Good idea.

Brain: Agreed.

Pinky: Then, that's decided, write that down, Squit, item two.

Squit: Could do. Or you could remember to shit in the bar when we're there anyways?! Now, c'mon. Let's get this tent up.

Pesto: I need to go now, tho.

Squit: What? Just hold it in!

Pesto: I can't, I get emotional.

Squit: We only just got here, Pesto! Camp first, shit second!

Pesto: I don't think I can, I'm honestly gettin' teary here, it feels like it's trying to push its way back up into my stomach!

Wakko: Great. I need one now, too.

Brain: What about that gas station we've just past?

Pesto: (panicking, holding his ass) Oh, God, the snake's out the cave!

Squit: Fine. Everyone, back in the car.

(They got back in the car and drove to the nearest gas station.)

(Squit N/R: So our camping trip was shortly delayed while Pesto left what he described as "King Kong's finger" in the Welcome Break bathrooms. Pesto genuinely felt better about life after unloading a massive turd. And now the car was unloaded, so did I.)

(Back at the forest.)

Squit: First need to clear the ground, make sure the site is safe and then put up our tent.

Pinky: Fuck dat, let's just crack open the beers and build a fuckin' massive fire up in this bitch!

Squit: You can't just build a fire. It takes preparation. I mean, have we even asked the landowner's permission?

Brain: (frustrated) Squit, c'mon! I didn't come here for a refresher course in the Countryside Code. I just wanna get pissed and have fun. Otherwise, I won't be able to do any of this in Wales.

Pinky: What, 'coz there's no fields?

Brain: No, 'coz I won't have any friends of my kind.

Pinky: You won't need friends. Welsh hoes are totally horny.

Brain: Are they?

Pinky: Yeah. Pretty much all British porn stars are Welsh, even though they are popular here in America. Most of them don't even get paid, they just do it for dick.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK, made-up sluts. Now I'm glad I'm going to Swansea. Oh, fucking hell, Swansea! I have to see my grandpa for a WHOLE WEEK in Swansea!

Squit: Fine, Brain, look if you really want, I'll build you a fire. Y'all put the tent up, I'll go and find some suitable wood and kindling.

Wakko: All right, Akela. HA!

Squit: But remember, fire is an element, it must be respected.

(He leaves to find some wood.)

(Squit N/R: Camping's all about self-reliance and teamwork. And I knew I could rely on myself to create the perfect camp and my team fucking it all up.)

(When he came back, he saw his stuff from his suitcase being burnt down with fire as his suitcase was open, it causes him to have a panic attack and drops all of the wood he just found.)

Squit: WHAT...THE...FUCK HAVE YA DONE!?

Pinky: Y'okay, Squit?

Wakko: (tried to hand Squit a cooked sausage) Want a sausage?

Pesto: Calm down. I just got it going and I didn't even need a fire gay's badge.

Pinky: Nah, just some diesel.

Squit: You put diesel on it? Wait a minute. Is that my fold-out table on the fire? (gasp) And my picnic basket?!

Pinky: I thought you said look for stuff to burn.

Squit: (getting angry) Wood, burn fucking wood, not my stuff! Oh, for Christ's sake! Why would ya do that?!

Pesto: Look, someone had to take charge of this weekend or it's gonna be all Monopoly and shitting in trenches!

Brain: Look, come on, sit down, have some weed, have a beer, have a sausage. Just chill.

Squit: I'll chill when y'all stop burning up my fuckin' valuable possessions to dust!

Pinky: (teasing) Oh, but I thought they were for "everyone"?

Squit: Yes, for everyone to use, not to burn up with! God.

(Wakko saw the fire going down so he puts Squit's fold-out chair on top of it.)

Squit: What the hell are you doing now?!

Wakko: Fire's going down.

Squit: (getting furious) STOP...BURNING...MY...THINGS!

Wakko: (angrily) Sorry, I forgot. (flips his chair off the fire) Jeez!

(Squit N/R: We were barely an hour from home, but somehow that meant that burning my possessions was not only OK, but hilarious.)

Part 2: R.I.P. Brain's Shitty Car

(Squit was sitting down still looking pissed off because of what happened earlier.)

Brain: Oh, come on, we're sorry. It was just a joke.

Wakko: We'll do whatever you want to cheer you up.

Pinky: Anything you like.

Squit: (smiled) Game of Monopoly?

(The others moan about this)

Pinky: Oh, fuck off!

Pesto: Boooooooooooooo! Y'suck!

Brain: Apart from that.

Pinky: Look, if you wanna play a game, I've got a proper game, not a shitty one, especially Monopoly. Though thinking about it, y'all might be too pussy to play.

Wakko: It's not that game that you used to play with your weird neighbour in his shed, is it?

Pinky: (looks nervous) Well, that never happened.

Wakko: Yeah, you told me about 8 years ago. Just after he moved away.

Pinky: No, I never. Shut up, dumbass!

(Wakko looks confused)

Pinky: OK, to start with, y'all have to swap phones. Squit, you swap with mine. Brain, I'll swap with your phone. Wakko and Pesto can swap each others and Pesto can swap with Squit.

(They all swap phones.)

Brain: Okay...now what?

Pinky: Now you text someone in their phone book. So when you text someone, they'll think it's from him.

Wakko: So does that mean I have to write it all posh and like all hurdy wurdy durdy?

Pinky: Nope. The only rule is you can write whatever you like and no-one can stop you.

Squit: I just wanna say, for the record, there's no way anything good can come outta this.

Pinky: Whatever. Ready? Go.

(They all text.)

Pinky: I've only got five numbers in my phone, and four of them are four of y'all, so do ya worst.

Pesto: Well, as long as one of the others is Squit's mama, you're still in trouble.

Squit: (looking disgusted) Pesto, come on, that's too much.

Pinky: Sorry, it's literally the point of the game, y'know.

Squit: Awww...fuck. Fine!

Pinky: Right, homies, finished?

Wakko: (finished texting) That's it, send 'em.

Pinky: Good, now swap back.

(They swapped back their phones.)

Pinky: Good, so I wrote, from Brain's phone to Billie, "Bills, I love you from the bottom of my ding-a-ling. The thought of leaving you is making me cum." (laughs)

Brain: (embarrassed) Oh, god.

Pinky: "And I'm using those tears as lube to jerk myself off with."

Brain: (sarcastically/disgusted) Gee, thanks, Pinky.

Squit: Don't worry, B, I texted Pinky's dad and wrote, "Dad, I'm just thinking about you."

Pinky: (whispered) Hmph, pussy.

Squit: "I'm in the bath and I'm hard." (laughs)

Pinky: (angrily) Holy fuck! Damnit, you've won this round!

Brain: Pesto? What about you?

Pesto: Fairly standard to Squit's mama. "Ma, it's been 29 years, but I'd love to have another go on your big fake-ass tits."

Squit: (embarrassed) God. No.

Pesto: "Then I'd like to smash in your back doors (anus)."

Squit: (sarcastically) So it'll come up that I've sent her a text, she'll think, "Good, he's just letting me know I'm proud of him," then she'll read that? Yep, thanks Pesto!

Pesto: No probs. Wak, who did you send to?

Wakko: I presume, your dad? I wrote "Your gay as fuck." HA!

(There was a short silence as Pesto looks pissed)

Pesto: (he snatches his phone back from Wakko) Gimme my phone back!

Wakko: Wait, I've also wrote for Saucy Walmart Karen.

Pesto: Wait, did ya?

Wakko: Hell yeah, I've written, "Karen, I love you and love that you are to be the mother of my child. Marry me?"

Pesto: Oh, c'mon!

Pinky: Nice.

Pesto: I only met her a month ago. She smells like cheese most of the time.

Pinky: What, 'coz of all dat dick she sucked?

Pesto: Yes...no...maybe...I DUNNO! God, I thought coming out here would take me mind off it, but the countryside's really boring! It's just a load of fields and rivers. And they don't do anything. They just sit there doing jack, it's not like The Blair Witch Project where people jump out at you.

Pinky: He's right, it is boring.

Wakko: Shall we go back?

Brain: Oh, no, come on, we could go for a swim? Skinny dipping? (The others look slightly disgusted) Yeah, you're right, probably be a bit gay.

Squit: Well, there's always Monopoly.

(They moan once again.)

Pinky: Fuck, fine, as long as I can be the dog.

Squit: Why?

Pinky: Reminds me of Benji.

(Squit N/R: This was great. Camping. Playing board games round the fire as the sun went down. It was like I was back in Cub Scouts, but without the unpleasantness.)

(At night, they were still playing Monopoly.)

Pinky: Miami, with a hotel, that's $1,500 you owe me, Top Hat.

Squit: Can I pay you after I pass Go? I'm nearly there.

Pinky: Nope.

Squit: (frustrated) Oh, c'mon. This is impossible. I can barely see. I've not been able to see anything for fuckin' hours! Let's just stop.

Brain: OK, we'll call it a draw.

Pinky: Fuck you, just because I'm winning and all you've got is just cities!

Pesto: I'm happy to call it a draw, y'know.

Pinky: Course you are, 'coz you were out four hours ago anyway, you fuckin' idiot!

Pesto: Y'all think I'm dumb, but I've got street smarts!

Brain: You got a woman from Walmart pregnant in her lunch hour.

Pesto: (pondered) Oh.

Pinky: I'll build another fire.

Squit: It's too dark to collect wood and you've burnt everything I own!

Pinky: Well, fine, I'll...I'll get Brain's shitty car and shine the lights over here.

Brain: Fine. Here ya go. (hand's Pinky his car keys)

Pinky: Thanks, mah boy!

(Pinky runs to Brain's car and turns on the headlights.)

(Squit N/R: This was embarrassing. I hadn't lost a game of Monopoly since I was 7. And yet I was about to be beaten by Pinky, a man who took pride in the fact that he couldn't count to 100.)

Squit: He really wants to win, doesn't he? I never knew he was so competitive.

Pesto: (eating sausages) I can't get enough of these sausages.

Wakko: (eating sausages) Yeah. I love 'em raw in the middle.

Pinky: Right, done. (he gets out of the car and shuts the door) Mission accomplished! Now you owe me $1,500. And you can pay me right fuckin' now!

(Brain's car was about to roll down into the lake.)

Brain: Pinky, my fucking car! (he stops his car from going down) Handbrake?

Pinky: Oh, shit, sorry.

Brain: Quick, everyone. Stop it!

(The others stopped the car except for Pinky.)

Brain: Pinky, help!

Pinky: Okay, calm your tits! (as he helped stopping the car)

Brain: (tried to unlock it) It's locked. Pinky, throw me the keys.

Pinky: I don't have them.

Brain: The fuck are you talkin' about, what do you mean you don't have them?!

Pinky: I gave them to you.

Brain: No, you didn't.

Pinky: Yeah, I did.

Brain: (getting angry) No, you fucking didn't!

Pinky: Brilliant, someone's gone and lost the fuckin' keys.

Squit: (looks at Pinky while being concerned) Yes, you. You've lost them.

Brain: You must have locked them in the car. (he panics) Oh, God! Oh, God!

Squit: Sorry, Brain. We'll have to smash a window or something.

Brain: (furious) Pinky, you dolt, Imma kill you for that!

Pinky: It's not my fault.

Brain: It is entirely your fault!

Pinky: I always lock my car like that!

Pesto: But yours must be different.

Wakko: It's shitty, for one.

Brain: (sarcastically angry) Thanks, Wak!

Pinky: If my lil' bro was here, he'd be able to get into it in two seconds flat. He used to jack Ferraris in New York City for the Mafia.

Brain: (bops Pinky in the head with a pencil in anger) How is that total bullshit helpful?!

Squit: Enough! OK, you three hold it. We'll go and find something to smash a window with.

Pinky: (rubbing his head looking dizzy) Hey! Why do me, Pesto and Wak have to hold the fuckin' car?!

Squit: Well, obviously, because you three are the strongest.

(Pinky, Pesto and Wakko hold the car.)

Pesto: Huh. It's true, we are.

Brain: What the fuck, why are there no rocks?! It's the countryside! Why aren't there any fuckin' rocks?! What are we gonna smash the window with now?!

Squit: Well, I dunno. Pinky's face?!

(Brain and Squit leave to find the rocks.)

Pinky: My arms hurt. I don't know why they're bothering to get rocks anyways. The way I look at it, it's inevitable that the car's gonna dive into the lake.

Wakko: I suppose it's nature. You can't fight nature.

Pesto: Exactly.

Pinky: It's going in anyway, I'm legitimately sweatin', my arms achin', we might as well just let go.

Pesto: Do you think Brain will kill us all?

Pinky: How can he? He hates it anyways. It's logical. We can't stop it.

Wakko: We are stopping it now.

Pinky: It's inevitable, Wak, trust me. We'll let go after three, do ya hear?

Pesto & Wakko: Gotcha.

Pinky: One, two, three. Go!

(They let go of the car as the car starts rolling down again. Brain and Squit finally got some rocks but Brain saw his car going down as he panicked and dropped the rocks.)

Brain: NO! Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

(The car went into the lake as there was a short silence, then Pesto picked the rock up and smashed the back window.)

Brain: Why did you do that?!

Pesto: You said smash a window. Look, there ya go!

Brain: NO! No, no, no! (Brain went into the lake and tried to get his car out and shortly gives up, looking at Pinky, Squit, Pesto and Wakko furiously) You assholes. You total pair of fuckin' scumbags!

Pesto: Relax, B. We'll just wait 'til morning and rescue it when the tide's out.

Brain: It's just a fucking lake, Pesto, the tide isn't going out! (He emotionally tears up) I've wasted my whole 14 years hanging around with you fuckin' morons! I wish I'd never met y'all at all! I can't wait to move to Swansea! I fuckin' hate you, fuck you! FUCK YOU!

Squit: Come on, Brain, come outta the water and dry off, you could get sick, I'm sure we'll think of something.

Brain: You never think of anything. You've just got an accent that makes us think you're clever, but you're not, are ya?! You're just as much of a fuckin' idiot as these three!

Squit: (he frowns) Wow, harsh.

Brain: You scumbags, you total, total scumbags! (he continues to get the car out) Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! (he gives up trying to get the car out)

Wakko: Do you want a lager, B?

Brain: Yes, please.

(Brain got out of the lake as they all go back to the camping area.)

Pinky: (he took Brain's keys out of his back pocket) Oh, shit! I did have the keys.

Squit: Uhhh...yeah. Probably wouldn't mention it. Like ever!

Pinky: Y'right! As a matter of fact! (he throws the car keys into the lake and leaves)

(Squit N/R: So, Brain's shitty yellow Fiat was gone forever.)

The Final Part: A Disgustingly Happy Ending

(But look on the bright side, at least Pinky did beat me at Monopoly now despite I've lost $1,500. But the last thing I wanted to have is Pesto burning my $10,000 suitcase for fire.)

(Squit and Brain watching Squit's suitcase being burnt down.)

Squit: Hey. Which do you think burns better, B, my suitcase or my dignity? Heh, heh, heh, heh. (sighs all sadly)

Brain: Yeah, ha-ha. Nice try, but this is now officially the worst night I've ever had. Let's just go home.

Wakko: How?

Squit: Call your dad, B. If you think about it, it's sort of his fault we're here anyways.

Brain: Ha, sorry, no chance. He's gonna go ballistic about picking us up at 2 in the morning. What about your lil' bro, Pinky?

Pinky: Nah. He's out with my dad, private poker tournament in Las Vegas with Danny Dyer and the Krays.

Squit: Wait. Aren't the Krays dead?

Pinky: No! That's just a cover story cos they done a bunk from prison. They're holed up in one of me dad's warehouses.

Brain: Of course.

(short silence)

Pinky: Shall we swap phones again to cheer us all up.

Squit: Sure, why not.

(They all swap their phones back to their previous precision)

Pinky: (reads text) Oh, Brain, you got a message for your insurance company, they said, "We're sorry about the car. One of our retarded staff sended you the wrong car. Just burn it, dump it, kill it with fire. We're sorry for the delay for the last 2 years. Your old one will be back in 2 days." Hmph, looks like you're not in trouble at all, Brain.

Brain: (confused but relieved) Huh, that was anticlimactic. Plus, I knew they tried to rip me off anyways.

Squit: (reads text) Oh. Looks like your dad and your brother are taking a break from that made-up poker tournament, Pinky. Your dad's just texted you back.

Pinky: Oh, shit. What did he say?

Squit: "You're sick, son. Your ma was right about sending you to that shrink."

Pinky: (looks nervous) What's he on about, that fuckin' asshole? Talkin' jack-shit as usual.

Wakko: (checks phone) You got a text, too, Pesto. It's from your babe. Maybe you should read it. (gives phone back to Pesto)

Pesto: Oh, thank you, God. Thank you.

Pinky: She said yes to the marriage proposal?

Pesto: Even better. It says, "You dopey prick. Not pregnant. Tested positive for" What's that say, Squit?

Squit: (read carefully) "Chlamydia."

Pesto: Nice! (short silence) Dafuq's chlamydia?

Squit: Well, how shall I put this, Pesto? You no longer have a child on the way but you do have an STD.

Pesto: (celebrates) I got an STD! Yes, an STD! Whoo!

Pinky: (continues to reads texts) Oh. It's from Billie and your dad. It says… (Brain snatches his phone back from Pinky) Douche!

(Brain reads the text from Billie and his dad, then suddenly smiles.)

Pinky: (curiously) Well?

Squit: Shall we go to bed? It is getting late.

Wakko: Yep, good idea.

(They all went in the tent.)

Pinky: Well...what did it say?

(Squit N/R: Brain was never this cagey. When it came to Billie or his dad, he normally wore his heart on his sleeve and his boner in his pants. Maybe he had other things on his mind.)

(Brain looks at the light in the tent while he was lying down.)

Brain: (slightly annoyed) So we had a light this whole time?

Pinky: Oh, shit, yeah. Forgot about that one. Sorry, man.

Brain: So, my car went into the lake for no reason?

Pesto: I'm upset too, B. I got my first hand job in that car. Who's gonna wanna gimme a hand job when I'm a dad?

Pinky: You're not gonna be a dad, remember, Pesto?

Pesto: (pondered) Oh, yeah!

Pinky: Whatever. Look, even if we did get it out, I doubt it would work anyway. I think the engine's flooded.

Brain: Is that supposed to be funny, Pinky?

Pinky: Did I say it was funny tho?

Brain: (pondered) Good point. I also felt happy I'm not going to Swansea next week. My grandpa cancelled the trip because he was broke.

(They all laugh.)

(Squit and Wakko came into the tent looking disgusted.)

Brain: How was the trench?

Squit: (looking disgusted) Wakko and I had to wipe our asses with leaves.

Brain: (disgusted) Jesus.

Squit: And I think there were some ants in there, so I now literally have ants in my pants. And soil, and some earwigs.

Wakko: I never wanna do that again.

Pesto: Hey. Do you remember that first time we slept in a tent in my back garden and Pinky pissed himself? (laughs)

Brain: Yeah, we had to come in the house at about midnight because Pinky got scared. (laughs)

Pinky: Yeah, I was scared that Pesto's dad was about to come out and rape us!

Pesto: (furious and disgusted) Just...go fuck yourself.

Squit: And on that familiar note, it's good night. (lies down in his sleeping bag) Sorry about your car, B.

Brain: Doesn't matter. It was a piece-of-shit car, anyway. Thanks for the send-off. For the last 2 years, I always knew they were trying to scam me in the first pla... (holds his nose) Jesus, that stinks, Pesto, was that a fart?

Pesto: Nah, Wakko and I burped. It ain't great, though.

Wakko: Yeah, I think it's them sausages.

Brain: Whatever. Good night.

Pinky: Well, I'll get the fuckin' light, then, shall I? (turns off the light) Night, mah boys.

(long silence)

Wakko: B, I was wondering, when you die?

Brain: Yeah?

Wakko: What do you want us to do with Squit? Like, look after him and stuff?

Squit: I'm not a stray cat, Wak.

Pinky: Yeah, but you do shit in a hole in the ground tho. (laughs)

Squit: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks.

Wakko: I just worry about you, that's all.

Squit: I think I'll be fine. Good night. (lies back down) Thanks, though, Wak.

(Wakko suddenly vomits on Squit)

Squit: (furious/disgusted) UGH! FUCKIN' HELL, IT'S IN MY HAIR!

Wakko: (feeling dizzy) I think it's the sausages.

Pinky: (panics and turns the light back on) Fuck dat! I've gotta get out. I've gotta get out!

Brain: (disgusted) Oh, God, the smell. It always makes me puke.

Squit: Please don't puke in here.

Brain: Oh no. (vomits)

Squit: (disgusted/annoyed) Oh, you have.

Wakko: I don't feel well. (vomits again)

(Brain pukes again)

Pesto: Help me! (vomits so much)

Pinky: Oh, shit, the smell. Oh, God, doublepuke!

Squit: JUST GET THE FUCKIN' TENT OPEN, PINKY!

Pinky: (tries to find the zip) I can't find the zip! I can't find the zip! Oh no! (vomits on the tent zip)

(Squit looks at his mini-blade as he knew what he had to do.)

Squit: (angrily) Great!

(Squit rips the tent with the mini-blade and got out, so did Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. They started walking away together abandoning a damaged tent, a burnt suitcase and Brain's shitty car in the forest)

Squit: (reads text) Oh, my mom's texted me back.

Brain: Is she up for some back door action?

Squit: Nope, it said, "I love you too but I think you're on weed. No offence."

Pinky: If she's up for it, Pesto should get to do her, cos it was his text that got her kinky.

Pesto: True.

Squit: Obviously she's not up for it.

Brain: How do you know?

Wakko: Does it say that pacifically?

Squit: Specifically.

Pesto: Are you sayin' she only likes it in her axe wound? Ha.

Squit: Seriously guys, c'mon, we've got a long walk ahead of us, I'm covered in puke, can we just drop the "yo mama" jokes?

Pinky: I'd like to drop yo mama's jokes. Get it?

(They all laugh while they were walking away from the forest.)

Squit: Okay, that's brilliant, I give ya that! Heh, heh!

(short silence)

Pinky: (putting on his fake Cockney accent) So what are we doing now, Brain?

Brain: The same thing we DON'T do every night, Pinky! Try and call my dad 'coz we're fuckin' lost! (laughs)

Pinky: Yep. Good idea.

Squit: Yep.

Pesto: Yep.

Wakko: Yep.

Brain: (relieved) When I get home, my dad's gonna kick...my...ass!

THE END!

This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Hope you liked it.

#animaniacs #theoutsiders #goodfeathers

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mtvswatches · 6 years ago

Text

Jane the Virgin 1x09 Chapter Nine

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) This was sad…

NARRATOR: Like I said, Jane never forgot the night she wrote her first short story. It was the same night she learned dreams weren't practical. And so Jane kept hers a secret. But she never stopped dreaming.

I think it’s even sadder because this was a conversation she wasn’t supposed to hear, this message wasn’t supposed to be conveyed to her, you know? But it hit her hard, and even as a young girl, she made the decision to keep her dreams tucked away because dreams were a luxury she couldn’t afford.

2) I’m thinking Jane is the writer who wrote this story. Could the narrator be her own “voice”?

3) Oh, Jane…

JANE: The main character in the story, Lucy, is a feisty, single mom that wears booty shorts and entertains a revolving door of guys.

RAFAEL: Well, I'm sure your mom's got a sense of humor about herself, right?

JANE: There's a line in it that says she puts the "loose" in Lucy.

I wouldn’t publish it either, it would break Xiomara’s heart knowing that this is all her daughter sees in her and that she’s kind of slut-shaming her. Xiomara might not be a traditional mom, and she’s definitely flawed and made mistakes when bringing up Jane, but I truly think she’s a good mom. She loves Jane, and they have a very honest relationship. It is heartbreaking that Jane would boil her down to this.

4) #Rogeliomybrogelio is going to be my hashtag for Rogelio from now on.

5) OMG Paulina Rubio was on this show? Will all the Latin artists be on it? Because I’m here for it!

6) Michael thinks Rafael is Sin Rostro… Hmm. Would this show dare to go there, making its main male lead the Big Bad?

7) WTF Petra!

9) Is everything that comes out of Rogelio’s mouth iconic?

ROGELIO: A hug from Rogelio is like a rabbit's foot. Lucky, rare, and soft to the touch.

10) Why would you leave your hostage alone in the room, Petra? Dumb move. And of course, he’ll learn how to get the cuffs off by watching Rogelio’s telenovela.

11) Michael is cahooting with his shady brother in order to find evidence against Rafael. I’m guessing that won’t end well...

12) And now he’s offering his help to make the whole Petra thing go away. Okay, I’m not hating him this episode. So far.

13) Michael is being helpful and Rafael and Jane are disagreeing pretty much on everything… religion, how to raise the kid, money… Is there going to be a constant love triangle in this show? I mean, I know it is telenovela, and love triangles are a staple of the genre, but I’m not really a fan of them…

14) Mercer stole Rafael’s wallet, of course, he’s still as shady as he was in VM.

15) See why she’s a good mom? Before getting angry, she told Jane how proud she was that she was getting published.

JANE: You were always dating different guys.

XIOMARA: I didn't bring them home.

JANE: Doesn't mean I didn't know about them. And, you know, except for Anthony, no one ever really stuck.

XIOMARA: What do you remember about Anthony?

JANE: I liked him. He was funny, he made me laugh.

XIOMARA: Yeah, he did. And after he broke up with me, you were very sad. Do you remember that? I didn't want that to happen again, so after I kept things casual.

JANE: To protect me?

XIOMARA: Yeah.

16) She is a good mom, fight me.

JANE: I'm not going to sign that publishing consent form anyway.

XIOMARA: I signed it for you.

JANE: What?!

XIOMARA: I am not gonna be the reason that you miss your window.

17) OMG are we getting Magda’s backstory???

Holy shit, that’s some fucked up karma right there! She got acid thrown on her face AND she was run over by a car???

18) Passports, cash, a burner phone… how is Rafael going to explain that one?

19) Is Petra being real, though? I can never tell!!

You think I don't know what it means to struggle? Just like you, it's always been me and my mother. My father was trapped behind the iron curtain during the cold war. When I was a baby, he sent me and my mother off to west Germany. He was meant to follow. For five years, we waited for him. But he couldn't get out. And he died one week one week before the wall fell. I'll never forget that feeling. Losing someone, never getting the chance to know them. That's why I'm fighting for this baby.

I can tell Jane was actually moved, and to be honest, so was I. But I can never really figure out Petra. She doesn’t seem to be completely heartless, but she’s also extremely manipulative and deceitful and she knows how to play people like a fiddle. She definitely plays me!

20) I really hope Michael is not right, but it seems as though he might be…

MICHAEL: But, um, listen, I-I I do want to talk to you about him. Something's going on with him, something shady.

JANE: What? What are you talking about?

MICHAEL: I can't say. But trust me, Jane. I only want what's best for you.

JANE: Rafael said that you had it in for him. I said no.

MICHAEL: Well, there you go. You see, he said that to cover himself in case I said something.

JANE: Michael, stop.

MICHAEL: Jane. Jane, listen.

JANE: No, just stop.

MICHAEL: Something's off with this guy.

21) Who would’ve thought that the one moment Petra was honest would be her downfall?

22) I really hope Rogelio doesn’t win the award and he has an epic meltdown on live TV.

23) And the winner is…

24) Petra and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I honestly expected her to be involved in something darker. She was just a girl escaping from her psychopath ex-boyfriend, and that’s why she’d been paying Ivan. I really don’t know why she didn’t come clean to Rafael, it’s not as if she’d committed a crime. Well, except for identity theft. But it was kind of justified?

25) Xiomara met her Goddess!!

And honestly, based on her sweet words, she deserves to be her Goddess.

26) Same plot structure for these two as in the previous two episodes, how long are they going to do this?

RAFAEL: We're better together.

JANE: Really? Because I think the lesson is, is that we're very different, and there are a lot of things that are gonna come up because of that.

RAFAEL: No. Refer back to my lesson. We are better together.

Exactly the same! They start the episode being all lovey-dovey, then they have a disagreement and they feel the relationship is doomed, and then they reach a compromise and make-up. It’s kind of getting old. And boring. Three episodes in a row!

27) Awww!! Rogelio is all smitten because Jane had bet on him winning the award!

28) And Rogelio used his contacts to get Xiomara what she wants. Again. Am I the only one finding these plots repetitive? Especially when the writers are recycling plots from one or two episodes ago?

29) I really like how Jane encouraged her mom to take a chance with Rogelio.

30) What is up with Rafael?

Or did Mercer (sorry, I’m calling Michael’s brother that because I can’t remember his name) set the whole thing up to mess with Michael?

31) WTF

32) Alba is going to find the fucking hostage, isn’t she?

33) HOLY FUCK!!!

AND I KNEW IT! I KNEW SHE COULD WALK!!

34) I enjoyed some of the twists and turns in this episode, but I feel like the writers are resorting to the same storylines to create conflict among the characters. I hope that is not a tendency and it’s just related to the fact that it is the show’s first season and they were still finding their footing. I do feel quite proud of myself for predicting Magda could walk. But what the fuck, she pushed Alba down the stairs?!!

35) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

#Jane the Virgin #Jane Villanueva #Gina Rodriguez #Paulina Rubio #Rogelio De la Vega #Jaime Camil #JTV recap #JTV 1x09 #MTVSwatches

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joannechocolat · 6 years ago

Text

Reviewing the Situation

Some years ago, in 2002, when I was still finding my feet in the world of fiction, I wrote a book called COASTLINERS. It was (I thought) an unpretentious little romantic comedy, set on an imaginary island off the coast of Brittany, and I was rather fond of it. It came out a year after FIVE QUARTERS OF THE ORANGE, a dark and challenging book that had taken more out of me emotionally than I had expected, and for me, COASTLINERS (set in a fictional version of the island where my French grandfather lived, and with which I associate many happy memories) was a means of getting back to a simpler, less stressful time.

I’d had a challenging couple of years. The success of CHOCOLAT and the subsequent movie had been both exhilarating and disturbing. On the one hand, it was great to have the chance to give up my teaching job and write full-time. It was great to be able to pay off the house (although I was astonished at the number of people who thought that I was set up for life: writing a book isn’t the same as winning the lottery, there was no guarantee that my success would continue after CHOCOLAT). But the combination of exhaustion, uncertainty and the unaccustomed scrutiny of the Press meant that my social anxiety peaked. For a whole year after CHOCOLAT I’d suffered mysterious panic attacks, in which I would suddenly, and without warning, pass out, usually at high-profile venues. And the level of vitriol levelled at me from unexpected quarters was both bewildering and hurtful.

Yes, I was very naive. I thought writers were colleagues. I’d never written a bad review, nor did I ever intend to rubbish a colleague’s work in print just because I didn’t like it. I’d written letters of thanks to every journalist who had reviewed my books (even when the review was not entirely positive), and I thought that reviewers were mostly sincere in how they approached their work.

Then came this review, in the Guardian, by a journalist I’d never heard of called Stuart Jeffries*. (Spoiler: Mr Jeffries really didn’t like my book.) The review, entitled; SHEER GAUL, is still there, on the newspaper’s website, although the huge picture of French onion-sellers that was printed alongside has since been removed, and the online version fails to convey the impressive sense of scale that this two-page hatchet-job showed in its print counterpart.

It was a rather lengthy review, over almost two pages, and containing some actual criticism (not pleasant, but legitimate), but mostly a lot of sneering and a great deal of speculation on what the reviewer thought I’d felt, intended and imagined when I’d written the book. The criticism I could take, but the reviewer’s attempt at mind-reading was way off, plus his biggest problem seemed to be what he thought I was getting paid for this book he so disliked. This, from the final paragraph, sums it up:

The film rights to Coastliners have been sold and Harris will write the script. (....)The French would hate it, as would anyone else who loves France, but it would make a great deal of money for Harris. And that is the important thing.

But was it, though? Whether or not it was true (it wasn’t), and if he actually knew what advance I’d got for the book (he didn’t), why was that the important thing? To him, maybe it was. But to me, writing has always been about joy, whether or not it earned money, and the fact that I could now make a living doing it was only a welcome bonus.

Besides, he was wrong. The French loved the book (I still get fan mail about it); the film was never made (hardly surprising; only 1% of film options ever get picked up); and as for the money, if you’d deducted agents’ fees and tax, and spread out my earnings over the time I’d taken to write the book, it would probably have worked out at about the same as if I’d stayed in teaching. The other things he’d accused me of - cynicism, shallowness, trying to pass off genre as literature, even sneering at the little map at the front of the book, which was entirely the publisher’s work - he might as well have blamed me for the jacket design - all this bile seemed to be levelled, not at me, but at some fictional Scrooge McDuck character with my name whose sole purpose in life appeared to be to piss off Stuart Jeffries.

I considered writing to him, possibly enclosing an offering of dyspepsia tablets, and decided against. Instead I had a T-shirt printed, which read: Joanne Harris, Sheer Gaul Tour, 2002: Sponsored by Guardian Newspapers, and wore it to an interview on Breakfast TV the following day. By then my book had got to number 1 in the charts, and I cared a lot more about that, and what it said about my readers, than for the opinion of a single, sneering reviewer.

And then I forgot all about it.

Or at least, I did until my 2010 novel BLUEEYEDBOY, which features (in a minor role) a sleazy tabloid journalist by the name of Jeffrey Stuart. A couple of newspapers picked up on this, and speculated on my choice of name. Certainly Stuart Jeffries must have believed that I was thinking of him. It must have preyed on his mind for some time, because last week ( 8 years later), he wrote about it at some length in a Guardian column about Schadenfreude, which culminated in an apology, of sorts:

But I now realise my schadenfreude (...) was just the joy of a petty man who can’t write a novel, not even one as terrible as Coastliners. Which is why I’d like to apologise to Harris for starting this mutually demeaning schadenfreude spiral 16 years ago.

It’s not much of an apology. He takes the opportunity once more to snipe about my book, as if that 2002 review hadn’t been quite long enough. Once more he makes assumptions - this time, assuming quite wrongly that for all these years, I’ve been watching him, nursing a grudge, waiting for an opportunity to take revenge on him in print. And this he refers to as Schadenfreude - a German word, which means “taking joy at someone else’s misfortune.”

But surely it’s the wrong word. Schadenfreude is about taking pleasure in someone else’s misery: Stuart Jeffries, with his bitter reflections on my success, - but most especially my paypacket - was clearly upset, not at my misfortune, but at my happiness. Maybe there should be a German word - Freudenschade, perhaps - that means: “taking umbrage at someone’s joy.” Perhaps that’s what Stuart Jeffries did in 2002, and perhaps he’s still doing it now.

Because, here’s the thing. None of it’s true. The name of the tabloid journalist in BLUEEYEDBOY was almost certainly borrowed from the credits of an old episode of Dr Who or Blakes 7 (I often use this method when naming secondary characters). I haven’t been nursing a terrible grudge over the past 16 years. Instead, I’ve raised a wonderful child; written 18 books; travelled the world; had adventures; known a great deal of laughter and tears and hope and anxiety and love. In those 16 years I’ve not given a thought to Stuart Jeffries. I read his review, was sad for part of a morning; moved on. The fact that he can believe that something he wrote in 2002 was important enough for me to seek revenge says more about him than it does about me. Much like his original review, in fact.

And yet I’ll accept your apology, Mr Jeffries. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, which is more than you’ve given me. And I’ll go on living my life, enjoying my garden; writing my books; laughing and loving and experiencing as much joy every day as possible. Rest assured, your words have never spoilt any part of that for me. I still take pleasure in my writing; I still manage to make a living; I still write personal letters of thanks to people who review my books. And I still won’t write a negative review of a colleague’s work, because just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean millions won’t enjoy it. Success is sweet revenge against those who resent it in others. Joy is even sweeter. And forgiveness is the sweetest of all.

And that, folks, is how you do Schadenfreude.

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