#i wrote this instead of learning for my exams

[soraya-snape]

Why do people keep saying Snape should be over Lily by now?

I really don't get it. Especially when I think about myself. I lost two of my grandparents when I was 8/10 and even though I'm already in my 20s I'm still not over this loss and I don't think I will ever. Their deaths also does impact my life in some ways like (trying not to get too personal, but) it has negatively impacted my relationship with death, I can't talk about them because I don't know how to handle this grieve... There are nights when I just start crying because I miss them so much, even now writing this already makes me tear up.

Some people might now say “This is different, they were your family, and you were only a child.” but even though I would agree to some extent it's probably not in the way they mean it.

Let me explain with one of my two examples: My grandpa (who died when I was 10) and I were pretty close. From what I remember and have been told he was wonderful with us kids or like my mother once put it: when we were at my “other grandfathers” house we still usually hung around our parents but when we were at my grandpas house we literally forgot that our parents existed. Even though I don't have many memories of him left, I simply remember feeling happy when he was around.

But still, I think this relationship was less important to me than Sev's relationship to Lily was to him. You have to remember that he came from an abusive and neglectful home and probably didn't have any (real) friends before meeting Lily and also later in life. I on the other hand had a pretty loving family, and even the not so good relationships (like with my other grandfather) were still better than Sev's relationship with his father and probably mother too.

So of course it's different.

On the one side you have me, whose relationship with her grandfather is one of many loving ones (yes, it might be the strongest, but that doesn't really change anything).

On the other side you have this boy who has never really received/felt love before, and now he meets this girl, and she makes him feel love(d). I'm not going to argue about what kind of love either of them felt for the other, but I'm pretty sure Sev never gave or got more love to/from anyone ever.

And while loosing my grandparents at such a young age was definitely bad, I could imagine that losing them later in life would be just as bad, maybe even worse. Because having more time with them would obviously be amazing, but at the same time could also make loosing them even worse. So the age difference between me and Sev really doesn't make that much of a difference also considering Snily had a similar amount of time together before their “breakup”.

And this leads me to another difference between Sev and me. Two, actually.

First his friendship with Lilx ended and really not on good terms. Even though I think both are partly at fault here it was Sev calling her a mudblood that ultimately ended it. And he tried to apologize, but Lily didn't accept it. And no matter how you feel about her decision, I think if she had accepted, even if they still hadn't become (good) friends again, it would have made it easier for Sev. I think it would give him some peace of mind and the feeling of her still loving him to some extent.

While the last year of my grandpa's life was let's say complicated, and I didn't meet him as often as usual (a bit similar to Snily) I wouldn't say our relationship was strained especially when you compare it to Snily (I don't want to go into more detail and I also don't remember much of this time).

And the other difference is that Sev is at least partly at fault for Lily's death. Which obviously makes it harder for him to move on, even more so after they ended on a bad note.

I wasn't at fault for my grandpas death and also couldn't have saved him (funny thing is now I have knowledge that maybe could). Yes, the complicated situation of his last year might make his loss a bit harder, but not much.

To conclude, I totally do not understand why people don't understand why Sev can't get over Lily (and her death). Not only was she the only light in his life, the only thing that was ever good about his life, but it was also his fault that first he lost her and later she died.

[wawek]

Grrrr i wanna go climb but i should really do assignments. And also im fairly mentally aware today so i should sieze that and get stuff done. Maybe ill go climb tomorrow when im dead and depressed from doing ai generated workshets in my university english class

[4ttack-ur-heart]

Dr. Zayne will handle it.

Pairings: Zayne x afab! Reader

Summary: Zayne finds out your gyno appointment is going to be with a male doctor and he’s less than happy about it.

Warnings: not really any just Zayne being jealous yet respectful, idk if I wrote him ooc or not… but it’s a learning experience lol.

Ps- it’s a lil shorter than what I normally write but I have so many ideas brewing.

————

Zayne’s fingers type quickly on his laptop, a warm cup of tea steeping next to him. His glasses are perched on the bridge of his nose with the lenses reflecting reports and patient files. He had promised only an hour of working in his home office while you stayed with him.

He could hear your voice in the main room arguing with whomever you spoke with. After your tone sharpened slightly, he decided to close his computer, remove his glasses, and see what was happening.

“No, I’ve been waiting for this appointment for two months! There has to be something else you can do.” You plead with frustration.

Zayne raises a brow, wondering what kind of appointment has you so stirred up. He watches as you angrily huff and say goodbye before ending the call. Your phone is tossed to the couch carelessly and you rub your face in your hands.

He carefully comes up behind you, his large hands covering your shoulders and the pads of his thumbs gently massage the tissue.

“Is everything okay, dear?” Concern is evident in his voice.

You nod and turn around to face him. “Yeah, just my stupid gynecologist.”

Zayne remains quiet, obviously waiting for you to continue.

“I’ve been trying to see this specific doctor because the association recommended her, but they just called me and said they overbooked her for this month and she won't be able to see me."

“Why does the association even have a recommended gynecologist?”

His questions hung in the air for a few moments while you scooped up your phone from the couch.

“I guess Dr. Lina is the best in her field. Kinda like how you’re the best cardiologist- most hunters try to see you instead of anyone else for heart issues. I guess it’s the same for her, and since a lot of hunters are women, the association trusts her to handle any issues for us.”

Zayne hums in understanding and places a tender kiss on your temple, his hand stroking your back to relax you. “So, what are you required to do now?”

You let out a sigh, “They can either reschedule me a month from my original appointment or I have to see the other gynecologist that the association recommended… who’s a guy.”

He tenses up and his hand stops moving.

Zayne maintained a high level of professionalism in his interactions with female patients. He recognized that the primary objective of doctors, including himself, is to assist individuals in need. Nevertheless, he experienced a sense of jealousy at the chance of another man observing you in a vulnerable situation.

“And are you comfortable with that?” His voice grows more cold and tense.

You pull your lip that you were chewing on from between your teeth, “Not really… that’s why I was waiting for Dr. Lina. If I’m not cleared soon, then I’ll have to be put on desk duty until I am.”

The foreboding future of being limited to desk duty when you weren't even physically injured was sure to make you go crazy. It was one of the most frustrating things about being a hunter- forget the wanderers, no, it was staying on top of all the appointments to ensure you were completely healthy. Dental appointments, eye exams, physicals, and now gynecology.

“I’ll miss my deadline if I wait for her,” frowning, you collapse onto the sofa in defeat. “Hello desk duty for the next month.”

You glance up at Zayne, searching for a hint of his thoughts on the situation, but he simply exhales through his nose, a silent acknowledgment of your frustration. He settles beside you, and you allow yourself to rest against his chest, feeling the cool steadiness of him. As you roll your eyes at the absurdity of it all, you pull out your phone to dial the clinic once more. Unbeknownst to you, Zayne’s gaze is intently fixed on the screen, curiosity dancing in his eyes.

“I’ll just book with that other doctor,” you say dejectedly.

Zayne's hand clamps down on your wrist with a surprising intensity, preventing you from dialing the number. Shock floods your senses, and as your gaze meets his, you can't help but notice the piercing coldness in his green eyes. The tension in the air thickens, making it clear that this moment is more weighted than you had anticipated.

“Zayne?”

You look back to his hand locked onto your wrist. Little white snowflakes flurry from his arm, and from that, you can tell the doctor is having an internal battle with his emotions.

“Forgive me for my impracticality, but I don’t think I’m comfortable with you seeing a male gynecologist.” You don’t fail to notice the way his voice was now lowered and a chill ran through your body.

The flurry of snowflakes burst from his hand in quicker movements at your words and he quickly lets go of you.

“My, my, is Dr. Zayne… jealous?”

“I don’t see why I cannot clear you for this, I am your primary doctor after all.”

Aww, your snowman was jealous. He just didn’t want to admit it.

“Zayne, honey,” you lock your fingers with his, noting the way the snowflakes start to calm down. “As much as I would prefer you to do it over anyone else, the association wants someone specialized in that field.”

Zayne furrows his brow, a wave of frustration washing over him. He knows deep down that he lacks the authority to grant you the necessary clearance, and the thought that another man will see you exposed, no matter how justified it may be for medical reasons, angers him even more. The tension in the room thickens as he rises abruptly from the sofa, his movements are almost forceful as he unintentionally nudges you aside in his haste, caught between concern for your well-being and the turmoil within himself.

“Don’t make the appointment.”

And with that, he leaves the room.

"Zayne!" You call out, but the sound of his office door shutting was all you received in response.

—————-

About an hour ticks by and you never leave the couch, instead just opting to watch some soap opera to pass the time with a throw blanket covering your body as the rain pelts against the windows.

You could faintly hear Zayne's muffled voice speaking to someone over the phone. You didn't want to disturb him, understanding how difficult it is for him to express his emotions. If he needed some time alone, you would give him that space.

By the time the door opens, the main character is already in tears again for the umpteenth time. He stands over you and you turn off the show.

In the stillness, you can sense his struggle to meet your gaze, while your eyes remain locked on his, filled with concern and curiousness.

Finally, he clears his throat.

“You have an appointment with Dr. Lina at 8 a.m. on Monday. Please do not be late.”

Shock washes over your features and your mouth parts open.

“What? Zayne, how did you-”

“Being at the top of your field has its advantages.”

You're silent, not knowing what to say, just overall confused. It would’ve taken you another month to see her and now you’re seeing her in three days?

“One of my colleagues is Dr. Lina's cousin. I explained to him your situation and he talked to her. I guess she was delighted to find out that the one and only Dr. Zayne’s girlfriend wanted to see her- so she pushed back one of her appointments.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Without another thought, you move off the couch and wrap your arms around his neck. Zayne reciprocates the hug and cradles your head to his chest.

“Thank you.”

Zayne's hand continues to stroke your hair, a bit hesitant as he chooses his next words carefully. "Darling, I want to apologize for my behavior earlier."

You pull away with furrowed eyebrows as he meets your eyes.

"You were right, it seems I was a bit jealous." His hand brushes back a stray lock of your hair. "If you were required to go see another male doctor, I should have been more understanding of that. It wasn't right nor professional for me to intervene without your consent-"

"Zayne." Your sharp tone cuts off his apology. "You don’t need to apologize for anything. I understand how difficult it is for you to confront your emotions. Honestly, I couldn’t be more relieved. I had already told you that I wasn’t comfortable seeing a male doctor for this, so you being jealous and taking action like that is kind of sexy."

"You think that was sexy?" Zayne smirks as if humored by the situation. "Really."

You shrug and nod your head, "I mean, yeah. You being all protective like that and realizing you're jealous is something I don't get to see every day. Maybe I should make you jealous more often..."

He lets out a low growl and pulls you back to his chest, lips brushing against your hairline as he inhales your shampoo.

"It would be wise not to push it," He warns. "Besides, I’d much rather owe Dr. Lina a favor than you forced to be uncomfortable.” His thumb brushes over your ear.

“What’s the favor?”

“That I see one of her children. With the discovery of his new evol, I guess his heart had some abnormal fluctuations.”

You frown at his answer. A child with heart problems already?

Zayne notices your change in demeanor and he tilts your chin up to look at him.

“Don’t fret over it darling, I’m seeing him tomorrow and she had already given me a brief rundown on his condition. It sounds like it’s just the body getting used to the abundance of power. It's common in children.”

You nod, relieved. If anyone can figure it out, it’s your boyfriend.

The rest of the night was spent cuddling on the couch and snacking on sweets while the cliche drama played in the background.

———-

Your appointment with Dr. Lina went very smoothly and she said you were in perfect health.

By the next week, you were approved to continue out in the field and the heavy weight was lifted off your shoulders.

Zayne was very relieved to find out his hypothesis was correct with Linda’s son, Ivan. As it turns out Ivan’s evol was super speed and the fluctuations in his heart were just him needing to burn off the energy.

You were glad it all worked out, thanks to your Dr. Zayne.

[pomelace]

a piece of sweetness

pairing: frank langdon x afab!intern reader

content warnings: no physical desciptors used for reader, reader is an intern, doesn't take place during the shows timeline, emotional distress and grief, guilt, vulnerability, little bit of angst, patient death, let me know if I missed anything!

magui speaks! : this is dedicated to anon who asked for more langdon fics. thank you for the request! this is part 2 of mouse and the redbull, part 3 will be out soon. I wrote this rather than study for my chem exam, so call me dedicated. as always, I hope you enjoy, and requests are always open.

word count: 2436

It's been weeks since the Red Bull. Weeks of long shifts and caffeine-stained charts, of you silently handing him pen lights and IV kits before he even asks. You're still the same—quiet, precise, invisible to most—but not to Frank.

He notices everything.

The way you tuck your pen behind your ear when you're focused.

The way you always triple-check every patient's med list.

The way you look up at him when you're unsure—but never ask.

He doesn’t say anything. He never does.

Words were never necessary with him.

Which is why it catches you off guard when Dr. Robby corners you before rounds, his voice too casual to mean nothing.

“You’re with me today,” he says, hands tucked into the pockets of his worn sweater.

You blink. “I’m usually with Dr. Langdon.”

“I know,” he replies, eyes already scanning his notes. “But you’ve been glued to him for weeks. Time to mix it up. Get to know the rest of us. Frank’s overdue to teach someone else anyway.”

You nod—because that’s what you do. But something settles heavy in your chest as you take your place among the others.

Frank doesn’t say anything when you fall in next to him. Just glances over—quick, unreadable—and then turns back to Dr. Robby as he launches into the morning briefing.

Maybe words were never necessary.

But this silence feels different. Louder. Sharper around the edges.

You half expect him to lean in, to say something under his breath—I’ll talk to Robby, or You’ll be back tomorrow—but he doesn’t.

He just lets the space stretch between you, like it means nothing at all.

𐔌 ﹒ ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ 𓂃 ₊ ⊹

Robby is patient.

He moves like he’s got fire in his lungs—sharp, deliberate, always ten steps ahead. He commands a room with a single glance, and somehow still finds time to teach you between traumas.

“Now I see why Frank kept you all to himself,” he said, showing you how to crack a chest like he’d done it a hundred times in his sleep

You learn a lot with him. He makes sure of it. But still—you’re always a half-second behind. Reacting instead of anticipating. You miss the rhythm you had with Frank, the silent sync only the two of you seemed to share.

You don’t realize how deeply you’ve adapted to him until you have to unlearn it.

When Robby asks for a kit, your hands stall. You hesitate—just long enough to feel it.

You’re not sure which one he means.

Frank wouldn’t have had to ask.

Robby doesn’t notice the pause—or if he does, he doesn’t say anything. He just points and keeps going, his voice calm but clipped, already three steps ahead again.

You hand him the right kit. Eventually. But the moment sticks with you.

With Frank, it was different. There were no words, just glances and gestures, and somehow you always knew what came next. He never needed to explain. You were in sync.

Now, every command feels like a test. Every silence feels like something you’re supposed to fill. You push through it. Robby is kind, in his own brisk way. He teaches well. He even smiles sometimes.

But at the end of the shift, when your scrubs are soaked through and your hands smell like antiseptic, it isn’t him you’re thinking about.

It was Frank.

And how, for the first time in weeks, he hadn’t even looked at you in the hallway.

You passed him again and again during shifts, but he didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. Even when you were forced onto the same case, he moved around you like you weren’t there—focused solely on guiding his new intern, never sparing you so much as a glance.

You tried to ignore it—the tight pull in your stomach, the quiet ache that settled behind your ribs.

But it was there. Growing. Whispering.

Maybe you’d done something wrong.

You never asked. You couldn’t. Every time you stood near him—tried to spark even the smallest conversation—he found a reason to walk away. A clipped excuse, a sudden task, always without looking at you.

Eventually, you stopped trying.

And with time, you began to accept the quiet truth: maybe you’d never work with him again. The thought settled in your chest like something heavy, something final.

Days blurred into weeks. Weeks where your schedule bounced between Dr. Robby and Dr. Collins—never Langdon.

Not once.

You stopped expecting to see him during rounds. Stopped looking for him across the nurses’ station or listening for his voice during consults. You forced yourself to focus on the work—on Robby’s fast-paced cases and Collins’ long-winded lectures about doing the best thing for a patient.

But some habits die harder than others.

You still felt it—his absence. Not just the lack of words, but the missing weight of him at your side. The way you used to anticipate each other without speaking.

It was like losing a limb and learning how to walk again.

And you were having a hard time keeping yourself upright.

You haven’t been yourself today.

It starts with the wrong dosage on a chart—caught just in time, but still. Then a missed page. Then a patient, mid-thirties, chest pain, eyes wide with fear—and you swear you’re doing everything right.

You double-check vitals, repeat the ECG, call for backup, but nothing you do is enough. Minutes later, they code. And you can’t get them back.

It’s not your first loss. But for some reason, this one sits differently in your chest. Low. Heavy. Like wet concrete.

Dr. Robby assures you that there wasn't anything anyone could've done, that the patient was as good as dead the moment they were wheeled into the ER, but no words could help you forget the sound of the flatline.

The rest of the shift spirals after that.

Minor mistakes. Snapped words. You keep moving, but nothing feels like it lands right. It’s like you’re watching yourself from a few feet away, trying to climb back into your own skin and failing.

No one says anything, but you know they notice.

And Frank notices the most.

From the moment you lose your patient, you can feel his eyes on you, though he never approaches. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t offer the usual reassuring confidence or distractions. Instead, he just watches—quietly, from a distance. And in that silence, you realize he sees it.

The cracks in your composure, the raw edges of your mind starting to fray. It’s a subtle thing, but you feel it all the same. He sees you breaking, even when you wish he wouldn’t.

You catch a nurse stealing a glance your way after you mutter a curse under your breath, watching as your coffee turns cold and bitter in your hands.

A resident steps in, offering to take over a case you were already halfway through, his voice too bright, too eager.

You shake your head, brushing him off, but the tension in your shoulders is too tight. You finish it anyway, fingers unsteady as you sign the discharge papers, the ink smearing slightly across the form.

The weight of it lingers in your hands, like a reminder of everything that’s slipping through your fingers.

By the time 9 p.m. rolls around, you've disappeared—found a forgotten stairwell tucked between ICU and radiology, where silence is the only company you’re willing to keep.

You sit on the cold concrete steps, elbows braced on your knees, head cradled in your hands. You're not crying. Not yet. Just still. Just quiet. Just trying to feel something that isn't the hollow static in your skull.

The door creaks open behind you, the sound scraping through the silence.

You don’t move.

The footsteps are slow, deliberate—familiar. You know them without having to look.

“Mouse?”

You don’t lift your head. You don’t even flinch.

He steps closer, hesitant, careful.

“Everyone’s looking for you. Robby thought you left.”

You shake your head, slow and deliberate, keeping your chin tucked low.

“I just needed... a second.”

A long beat of silence. Frank doesn’t answer immediately, and for a moment, you think maybe he’ll leave, or maybe he’ll keep pretending he’s been too busy to notice.

Instead, he lowers himself onto the step beside you. The space between you both is filled with nothing but the distant hum of the hallway, the pounding of your own heart.

“You’ve been off today,” he says quietly. Not a question. Not an accusation. Just a simple observation.

“Rough shift?” he adds, his voice laced with something too close to pity.

It almost sounds absurd—the way he asks, knowing full well the answer. He was there, he saw it all. Watched as you fought, as you tried to save a life only to lose it in the end.

You nod, the movement stiff, like your neck can’t bear the weight of the day. Your breath is shaky, fighting the edge of something sharp and brittle that threatens to break free.

He sits beside you, close enough for you to feel his presence but not so close as to invade. He doesn’t ask you anything else, doesn’t offer words you don’t want.

He just sits. Silent. Watching.

You hate how easy it is for him to be there, like nothing’s wrong, like you’re just two people passing through the same space, when all you want to do is scream.

“I heard about your patient,” he says quietly.

Your throat tightens like a fist around your windpipe.

“You heard about it, or you saw it?” you whisper, your voice frayed. It’s not really a question. You already know the answer.

He doesn’t respond right away. Just sits there, the silence stretching until it almost snaps. When he finally speaks, his voice is low, almost hoarse.

“I should’ve said something. Back then.”

He hesitates, then adds, “It’s hard… losing a patient. I should’ve—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” you cut in, sharper than you mean to be.

He flinches like he expected it—but it still hits.

The stairwell is cold. Quiet again, except for the hum of a vending machine two floors down and your own heartbeat in your ears.

Frank breathes out slowly. You don’t look at him, but you feel the shift in the air, the way his body curls forward, like he’s trying to close the space between you without touching it.

“I know it doesn’t change anything,” Frank says after a moment, voice low, like he's afraid to disrupt the fragile stillness you've wrapped around yourself.

“But I wanted you to hear it from me.”

You don’t answer. The silence feels safer—less brittle than any words you might try to force past the knot in your throat.

“You did everything you could.”

His voice is soft, careful—like he’s reaching for you with it, like he thinks if he says it gently enough, you might believe him.

Like he wants to cradle the sharp edges of your grief with something that won’t cut.

You shake your head, still staring down at your hands, at the scuffs on your shoes, at the floor that hasn’t moved but somehow still feels like it’s tilting.

“It wasn’t enough.”

He lets out a long, slow breath, his hands clasped loosely between his knees, the pads of his fingers pressing into each other like he needs the grounding.

“Sometimes it isn’t,” he murmurs.

“Even when it should be.”

You nearly flinch at that—almost say, but it still happened. You almost tell him that your hands haven’t stopped shaking since you called time of death, that your brain feels stuffed with cotton, thick and useless, and you can't think clearly enough to even cry.

But nothing comes out.

You just shake your head again, smaller this time.

Frank turns slightly toward you, glancing out of the corner of his eye.

“You have to be kinder to yourself,” he says, and it’s so quietly earnest it almost stings.

You nod, though it’s automatic.

Eventually, you glance at him. He’s not looking at you—just staring straight ahead, his jaw tight, his eyes unfocused like he’s watching something only he can see.

“You’ve lost patients before,” you say, your voice hoarse.

“How do you not let it break you?”

He lets out a breath of a laugh—low, bitter, hollow.

“Who said it doesn’t?”

That silences you. Again.

A minute ticks by. Then he shifts slightly, reaching into the pocket of his jacket. He pulls out a crumpled paper bag and, without a word, sets it gently in your lap.

You blink at it, confused, your fingers hesitating on the edge.

“It’s a cinnamon roll,” he says, like it’s obvious. “From that place you like. Still warm.”

You stare down at it, stunned.

“I didn’t even know you—”

“You mentioned it once,” he says, cutting you off, almost sheepish.

“Weeks ago. Said they don’t dry them out like the cafeteria does.”

Your throat tightens, but it’s different this time—not grief. Something softer, warmer, tugging at your chest.

“I figured… if you weren’t gonna eat or sleep tonight, you should at least have sugar.”

You let out a faint, broken laugh. It doesn’t quite reach your eyes, but it’s real. He nudges your knee gently with his own.

“You’re allowed to be human, mouse. Even the best interns have days like this.”

“Not like this,” you murmur, still staring at the bag in your lap.

He tilts his head, finally meeting your eyes.

“Especially like this.”

You tear open the bag, the scent hitting you instantly—cinnamon, vanilla, that warm yeasty sweetness. You break off a piece and hand it to him wordlessly.

He takes it without hesitation and eats in silence, like this is routine, like sharing a cinnamon roll in a stairwell at the end of the worst day isn’t the most intimate thing you’ve done in weeks.

You sit together for a while like that. Just two tired, wrung-out people in the quiet hollow of a hospital, letting the sugar and the silence do what they can.

Eventually, your voice returns. “Thanks.”

He glances at you, chewing. Swallows.

“For the cinnamon roll?”

You shake your head.

“For finding me.”

He looks at you then. Really looks at you. For a moment longer than necessary.

“You’re my favorite, remember?” he says, voice gentler than you’ve ever heard it.

“I keep track of the things I care about.”

And for a moment, you forget. Forget the coldness he kept between you for weeks, the silence that hung like a heavy curtain.

All you feel is the warmth of the cinnamon roll in your hands, and the quiet tenderness in his voice when he says he cares—about the small things, about you.

©pomelace 2025

[slut4thebroken]

baby bat - pt. 2

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Scarecrow x Batgirl!reader

Summary | “You need to learn not to trust a villain, baby bat.”

Warnings | NON CON, physical abuse, coercion, kissing, praise, humiliation, lotsa pain, more noncon recording, crying, manipulation, ionno.

Words | 3.6 k

Notes | I know his mask doesn’t have a voice modulator but that’s what I wrote in part 1 and I like the reveal😔🤚 sue me

Ao3 link | <3

Fic Masterlist

Main Masterlist

The physical abuse is at the end of the chapter, however if you want to skip that brief section, I added “———” above and below it <3 Please read safely, I’m not responsible for the content you choose to consume.

Part 1

“Rise and shine, sleepy head!” He called out, jolting you out of your restless slumber. He set his briefcase down on the desk and walked over to you, making you tense up. You tried not to flinch when he reached up to gently caress your cheek, making your breathing pick up as your heart pounded in your chest. “How was your night?” He asked softly, with just a hint of teasing in his tone. In response, you clenched your jaw and looked away from him, making him hum in disappointment. When he stepped back, you finally felt like you could breathe again. 

“I have something special planned for you today.” He walked back over to the desk and picked up the camera, then turned it on and set it on the desk angled off to the side before returning to you, now holding handcuffs. You watched nervously as he released your wrists from the exam chair, then pulled you up into a seated position to restrain them behind your back. After that he freed your ankles and grabbed your arm, pulling you off of the chair, making you stumble into him when your weak legs buckled under your weight. 

He caught you with a sigh and held you up. When you tilted your head to look up at him, you realized just how much taller he was than you— how much bigger he was than you. 

He stared down at you for a moment and you almost got lost in the pale blue eyes hiding within the mask, but he quickly snapped out of it and continued dragging you somewhere. 

You could see now that the camera on the desk was angled toward a couch. It was dirty and torn, practically covered in stains, and you all but breathed a sigh of relief when he sat down on it instead of placing you onto the couch. That relief was cut short though by him pulling you onto his lap so you were straddling his legs. You turned to look at the camera nervously, wondering what he had planned. 

“You’re so small… So fragile.” He said quietly, placing his hands on your thighs, rubbing up and down slowly. “Batman was a fool for not keeping a pretty thing like you locked away, safe from the world.” Even through the modulator, his voice was so tender and warm, but rather than calming you, it just made you even more anxious. “But it’s okay, I’ll keep you safe now. My baby bat.” He sighed, almost dreamily. 

“Stop calling me that.” You protested weakly, making him chuckle. 

“Why would I do that when I know how much you love it?” 

“I don’t.” 

“No?” He tilted his head slightly and you gritted your teeth, not wanting to dignify him with an answer. “Hm… That’s a shame. You’ll get used to it though.” His hands moved to your hips, then stayed there, gripping gently. 

“I’m willing to make you a deal… If you tell me how much you love the way I treat you, how much you love when I call you baby bat… then I’ll let you go.” He said simply, making your breath catch in your throat. 

“You will?” 

“Yes. But you have to mean it.” You could do that. All you had to do was lie and tell him exactly what he wanted to hear. 

“I- I love the way you treat me… I love being your— your baby bat.” You choked out, the last words barely louder than a whisper. 

“Very good. But I couldn’t quite hear you. Try again, louder this time.” You did your best not to audibly huff in response. 

“I love the way you treat me.” You repeated, louder and more firmly. “I love being your baby bat.” You held your breath as you waited, when he didn’t respond right away, you added on more. “I love being yours...” You said breathily. He let out a low groan and squeezed your hips. 

“Good girl… Such a good girl for your Scarecrow, hm?” He reached up and brushed your hair behind your ear, making you flinch a little. 

“I did what you said, now let me go.” You tried to sound confident, but your voice was embarrassingly shaky. 

“No so fast, darling. There’s still something I want from you.” 

“You promised.” You frowned, making him chuckle at your petulance. 

“Did I?” He asked rhetorically. No, he didn’t. “Just one more thing, then I promise I’ll let you go.” 

“Okay… one more.” You agreed, even though your heart was pounding and your stomach was churning. 

“That’s my good girl.” He cooed, making you scowl as your cheeks heated up. He reached up and slowly started removing his mask— what the hell did he want you to do that would require him to remove his mask?

First you saw his lips— full, pink, and pouty with a softness you would’ve found alluring on anyone else. They also looked young. The only knowledge you had about him was what Bruce told you— he never actually showed you a picture of his face— so part of you was hoping he’d be some old, gross pervert… 

Next were his nose and cheeks. Faint freckles dusted across his pale skin, subtle but noticeable, and his cheekbones were sharp— almost unnaturally so. But instead of looking odd, they seemed to suit him perfectly, like he'd been carved from stone and not a product of nature. 

You were completely dreading seeing his eyes. You’ve seen them through the small holes in his mask, but you didn’t want to see the pretty blue with the rest of his pretty face. You didn’t have much of a choice though. Your gaze trailed over his long lashes and full brows, taking him in. 

Lastly you saw his hair. It was brown and fluffy and looked so incredibly soft. Your fingers twitched behind your back when you thought about running them through the soft locks— or pulling on them. He set the mask on the couch, then put his hand back on your hip. 

“Darling, please close your mouth before you start drooling everywhere.” He said teasingly, and his voice— oh god his voice. It was just the right amount of raspy, and it was low and soothing, so much so that it could probably lull you to sleep if you were under different circumstances. 

He lifted his hand to gently push your chin up, closing your parted lips, making you finally realize what he said. The fact that you were practically gawking at him made your cheeks burn with embarrassment and shame— hopefully the camera couldn’t pick it up. 

“Not what you were expecting?” His lips were curled up into a pleased smirk, clearly very satisfied by your reaction. You didn’t know how to reply— you could barely even think. “Is this really all it takes to empty that pretty head of yours?” His smirk widened, his ego only growing bigger by your silence.�� 

“What-” you had to clear your throat before continuing, “what did you want me to do?”

“Ah yes… In exchange for your freedom.” You gave him a small nod, waiting for him to just say it. “Kiss me.” You choked on your spit as your eyes widened. 

“What?”  

“Kiss me and I’ll let you go.” He all but shrugged. “It’s as simple as that.” Just a kiss? That wasn’t too bad. At least he wasn’t asking you to do anything else with your mouth… “And not on the cheek. You’re going to give me a real kiss and you’re going to convince me that you mean it. Then I’ll let you go… I promise.” You stared at him with furrowed brows, full of apprehension as you chewed on the inside of your cheek, debating what to do. Eventually you just leaned forward slowly, making him smirk again. 

“Prove to me how much you love being my baby bat.” He said quietly, his voice low and almost sultry. You leaned forward even more, staring at his lips, not allowing yourself to imagine how they might feel or what they might taste like…

Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. 

Not giving yourself a second longer to overthink, you let your eyes flutter shut as you closed the gap, pressing your lips to his. His hold on your hips tightened and he released a low moan as you kissed him. You were trying to just pretend this was someone else so you could make it seem convincing, but it was hard to focus on anything other than the fact that your captor was your first kiss. 

One of his hands snaked around to your ass, making you stiffen, but he lifted it to your lower back a moment later to pull you against his body. You gasped into the kiss and he took that as an opportunity to start using his tongue, licking into your mouth and groaning at your whines of discomfort. When he finally pulled back, a trail of saliva connected your lips to his and you panted quietly, trying to catch your breath. 

“Good girl.” He murmured, making your stomach flutter. “Did you enjoy that, sweetheart?” 

Just say yes. Just say yes and he’ll let you go. 

“Yes…” You said quietly, averting your gaze. “Now— let me go... please.” 

“Oh, baby bat… How could I possibly let you go after that?” Your face fell and he cooed with fake sympathy as he cupped your cheek. 

“You promised.” You whimpered. 

“I know… I know I did, darling. And that’s why you’re here right now, isn’t it? You still think I’ll play by these silly rules Batman taught you.” He chuckled softly, as if he was both amused and endeared by your naivety. All you could do was stare at him, taking in his words as tears brimmed in your eyes. “You need to learn not to trust a villain, baby bat.” 

You couldn’t help it when your tears started to fall. You felt disappointed and hopeless, but you mostly just felt stupid. You should’ve known better than to believe anything coming from him. 

“You look so beautiful when you cry…” He cooed, only making you feel worse. He grabbed your hair and turned your head so you were facing the camera. “Doesn’t she just look so pretty like this, Batman?” Your stomach dropped instantly— How could you forget this was all being recorded? When you let out another loud sob in response to the reminder, he chuckled quietly and roughly turned you back to him, making you hiss at the pain on your scalp. 

“Did Batman not teach you any manners? What do you say when I compliment you, hm?” You closed your eyes and shook your head as much as you could in his grip. “Go on, little bat. Say it.” You could tell his tone was a warning, but all you were able to do was whimper and bite your bottom lip when it started trembling. 

His hand connected with your cheek in a forceful slap that had you crying out, sobbing harder as he pulled your head straight again with his grip on your hair. 

“Insolent brat.” He spat viciously, making your whole body start trembling. “Some father figure you had… Is this all you can do? Cry?” He scoffed, his voice cruel and mocking. “I’m disappointed, darling.” Scarecrow pushed you off of him suddenly and you landed on the ground with a pained whimper. When you started crying harder, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to wake up from this nightmare. Even as you heard his steps you kept them closed. 

“If you’re just going to keep crying, then you need to take some accountability.” You looked up at him, not understanding. He was holding the camera now, pointing it directly at you, so you tried to appear at least a little strong… “On your knees.” He ordered. Your gaze fell to his crotch and your stomach churned when you saw the bulge in his pants, bile rising in your throat at the sight. 

“N-No…” You whimpered. “No— please.” 

“On your knees. Now.” He growled. “Or I’ll break them.” 

“No- please... I’m sorry. Thank you for the compliment.” You rushed out, trying to scramble away from him and gain some distance. 

“Sweetheart…” he chuckled darkly, sending a shiver down your spine, “we’re well past that now.”

“Please. I- I’ll stop crying. I’ll stop.” You whimpered, but even you weren’t convinced you could actually do it. 

“But I want you to keep crying. And I’m going to do that one of two ways; You’ll either choke on my cock, or I’ll break your pretty little legs and then you’ll choke on my cock.” You let out a loud sob and closed your eyes, trying uselessly to steady your breathing. Obviously you were completely at his mercy… If you wouldn’t be able to prevent this though, maybe you could at least make it a little less humiliating. 

“I… I’ll do it. If you don’t record, I’ll do it.” You tried, amusing him. 

“Why? You don’t want papa bat to see you with a cock down your throat?” He cooed mockingly.

“Please,” 

“Stupid girl…” He spat bitterly. “Don’t you get it yet? This isn’t about you sucking me off or kissing me… this is all about Batman. It always has been. He’s the reason you're here, baby bat. He’s the reason this is happening to you.” You whimpered at the admission. It was almost worse that none of what he was doing was for his own personal satisfaction. “So, you have five seconds to decide. After that, I’m choosing.” 

Even though you wanted to resist, you had no reason to believe that he wouldn't break your legs… So with a stifled sob, you lifted yourself up and kneeled at his feet. 

“Maybe you’re not so dumb after all, hm?” He leaned down and grabbed your cheeks in one hand, tilting your head up to face the camera. You just hoped that once Bruce realized what he was watching, he’d turn it off. Kissing Scarecrow was already embarrassing enough, you didn’t know what you'd do if he watched this. Would it even matter though? You were starting to lose hope that he’d find you— that you’d see him again. 

The sound of his belt being unbuckled pulled you from your thoughts and you tried to think of anything else you could do or say to keep this from happening. 

“Please, I- I’m a..” You bit your lip and looked away as your whole face flushed. His curiosity was piqued though. 

“You’re what?” 

“I… I haven’t done this before.” You said timidly, looking at him again. 

“No? Not even with little boy wonder?” You tried not to visibly cringe in disgust at the thought of doing this with your brother-figure. 

“No.” You muttered. 

“Good. I didn’t think you could get any more perfect, but you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” Of course your confession only encouraged him… 

He finished unbuckling his belt, then opened his pants enough to free his cock and you gasped before you could hold it in. You tried to hide your shock and fear, but based on his quiet chuckle, you didn’t do a very good job. He took it in his hand and stroked slowly, bringing himself to full hardness. 

“If I feel any teeth, I’ll pull all of them out and we’ll try this again. Do you understand?” You bit your trembling lip and nodded. He suddenly reeled his hand back and struck you across the cheek again, this time with the back of his hand. “Words.” He growled, making your body shake even more as your crying intensified. 

“I- I understand.” You whimpered, squeezing your eyes shut. When you felt his fingers on your sore cheek, you flinched back a little. 

“Thank you. I don’t like punishing you, darling, so please stop making me.” You clenched your jaw and kept trying to subtly lean away from his touch. “Open your eyes.” He said softly. You knew he’d hit you again if you didn’t, so you let your eyes flutter open. He lifted your head with a finger under your chin and brought the camera closer, but you kept your eyes down. “Look at me.” He demanded. 

You took in a shaky breath and forced yourself to look up at him. As soon as he saw your tears, he groaned softly and you watched his cock twitch out of the corner of your eye. 

“You look so pretty like this. Should I take off the mask? See your pretty eyes a little better?” Both of you knew that taking the mask off would not help him see your eyes better— he was just being sly about it. “It’s only fair, right?” When his hand moved toward the mask, you flinched back so hard that you fell on your butt again. 

“It’s just us and dear old papa bat. There’s no need to be shy.” You couldn’t let him see because it felt like once he saw your whole face, your fate would be sealed. And you still had a little bit of hope that Batman would find you. So you shook your head and scrambled away from him, struggling with your bound arms. 

He just sighed and squatted down, then grabbed your ankle to roughly pull you back to him. But he suddenly stopped and let go.  

“You know what?” When he stood up again, tucking his cock back in his pants but leaving them open, you instantly felt both skeptical, and even more nervous. “Why fight you when I don’t have to?” He walked over to the desk, opening a drawer to grab something. Once he was walking toward you again, you saw that he was holding a hammer and you resumed moving away from him, trying to stay out of reach. 

“No— no, please,” You whimpered, gaze shifting between his eyes and the hammer. 

“You did this to yourself.” He said simply, then stopped walking and leaned down to set the camera on the floor, still pointed at you. Continuing to back away, you were a good distance from him, but with his long stride, he reached you in just two steps, then grabbed your ankle and dragged you back closer to the camera. 

“Please— please, I’m sorry,” You cried. “Y-You can take the mask off. I’ll even tell you my name if that’s what you want— just please don’t,” despite your desperation, there was a nagging thought in the back of your head, reminding you that Bruce was going to see you like this— at your lowest, crumbling so easily after the slightest threat. When he didn’t respond and just released your ankle, you quickly sat up and got onto your knees, getting ready to beg again. 

“Really?” He sneered. “Are you sure you worked with the Batman? I figured he would have trained you better than this. After all, I’ve only threatened to hurt you and you’re already eager to tell me your secret identity.” You blushed in embarrassment when he chuckled cruelly. 

“Please, I- I’ll do... what you wanted… and you can take off the mask. I’m sorry for fighting you.” You whimpered, trying one last time, making him sigh heavily in disappointment. 

“I’ll have to train that out of you, get you willing to die for me before giving anything up.” He said plainly, making you avert your gaze. “You don’t want me to use this?” He cooed mockingly and you shook your head with a whimper. “Fine.” You flinched at the loud sound of it dropping onto the concrete next to you. “But you still need to be punished.” 

——————————

This time when he hit your cheek, it was with his fist. You fell onto your hip with a pained cry, your vision immediately getting dizzy as blood filled your mouth. You cried out again when he roughly grabbed your hair and pulled you back up. 

“What do you say to me for being so nice and sparing you the hammer?” He sneered, forcing a choked sob out of you. 

“T-Thank you.” You whimpered pathetically. He hit you again, harder this time, but you couldn’t even fall to the side with the force because of his grip on your hair. 

“Try again.” He gritted, yanking your head back painfully to look at up him. 

“Thank you... Scarecrow.” You said, but it sounded like a question rather than a statement. 

“At least you’re not completely useless at following orders.” He scoffed, then let go of your hair and punched you again, making you fall to the side with a loud cry of pain. Your jaw was aching, blood was pooling in your mouth, your scalp was throbbing— you just wanted this to be over already, but of course, it wasn’t yet. Not even close. 

When he kicked your stomach, it knocked the breath out of you and you curled in on yourself, trying to shield your body as you gasped for air. In response, he put his foot on your shoulder and pushed you back open so he could kick you again, harder this time. At least it’s not the hammer, you kept reminding yourself. You tried to lean up a little as you turned your head toward the ground to spit out some of the blood in your mouth. 

“I bring you here, promise to keep you safe and fed,” he punctuated the words with another kick, “and all you are is an ungrateful little brat.” He hissed viciously, landing one last kick on your stomach, this one making your crying turn into loud sobbing. Kneeling down next to you, he grabbed your hair and yanked your head back so you were looking up at him. 

——————————

“No wonder Batman isn’t looking for you.” He spat viciously, making you whimper and shake your head to disagree. He’s looking. He'll find me. You kept repeating to yourself. However, it just made you feel worse when you realized you barely believed it. 

Part 3

I had to cut it cause 7.7k words is too long for one part imo, especially since the other parts are 2-4k words. Sawryyy ���

Taglist (join here)

[jromanoff]

Study Break II R. George

Pairing: student!Regina George (2024) x law student!Reader

Warning(s): Reader not eating enough

Authors note: I’m in the middle of uni exams this week so I wrote a little something to indulge myself :)

Summary: College!AU - Regina is worried about your study habits and decides to intervene.

Word count: 1.6k

Regina leaned against the door frame, watching you hunched over your textbooks, completely engrossed in your studies. The thick civil code books were laying open on the side, several coloured tabs sticking out to keep track of the laws you needed to use for your upcoming exams. Regina thought it almost looked like a rainbow at this point. That was the only pretty thing about the stuff on your desk though, it looked like a bomb exploded with the mess you’ve made.

"Babe, can you take a break? I miss spending time with you," Regina pouted, hoping to draw your attention away from the books in front of you. Her pout usually did the trick. She wanted to have some quality time with you since you haven’t been spending time with her these past few days, too engrossed with your studies. You even stopped having dinner with her.

You glanced up briefly, your brow furrowed in concentration. "Sorry Gina, I really need to focus. These exams are important."

Regina sighed dramatically, crossing her arms as she walked closer to you. Did you just really resist her pout? "You've been studying nonstop for days. Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?"

You paused, looking at Regina with concern. "I know, but I need to do well in this. It's important for my future. I don’t want to be a failure."

Regina softened, her concern for you overriding her desire for attention. Regina almost laughed at this realisation, her High School-self could never. "I understand, but I'm worried about you. You need to take care of yourself too."

You reached out to take Regina's hand, caressing it. "I appreciate your concern, babe. But I really need to study now, I’m fine.” you said with a reassuring smile, concentrating back on your books.

Regina frowned and decided she needed to change her approach, this was clearly not working. So instead of complaining or outing her concerns, Regina tried to engage in a conversation with you.

“What are you studying, anyways?” Regina curiously inquired as she saw her girlfriend so intensely focused.

She never asked you about the content of your studies before, because she probably wouldn’t understand it. She, on the other hand, always excitedly rambled to you about whatever she learned that day. From fashion designers to fashion history, Regina shared it all. You didn’t mind it, though. Seeing your girlfriend so excited about her studies made you happy too and extra knowledge never hurt anyone. It was a nice contrast to your law studies.

“Legal philosophy” you replied curtly.

“Sounds boring” Regina remarked. Her efforts were met with a dismissive attitude from you, causing Regina to frown in disappointment. But Regina wouldn’t let this deter her from trying again.

“What are you reading about now, then?” Regina asked once again, looking over your shoulder at the book you were currently reading.

“The Case of the Speluncean Explorers” you responded, perplexed by Regina’s sudden interest in your ‘boring’ law studies. Especially after she just complained about not getting any attention from you.

“The what explorers?”

“The Speluncean Explorers,” you explained, slightly exasperated. “It’s a fictional judgement where five judges with different opinions shed their light on a fictional case. Five explorers got stuck in a cave and eventually ran out of food so… they agreed to eat one person so the other four could survive. They decided who it should be by throwing a dice and when the remaining four explorers were rescued they got a murder charge. I really need to study now if you don’t mind.” You hoped this elaborate answer would satisfy Regina’s curiosity so you could refocus on your studies.

When Regina kept silent after your explanation you thought you managed to fend off your girlfriend for the time being. Wrong.

Regina felt increasingly ignored by your continued focus on studying and your dismissive attitude towards her. So she decided to retort to an old tactic – a kiss to divert your attention. Despite being in college now and attempting to leave her manipulative ways behind, Regina deemed this situation an emergency. You would definitely cave in after a kiss.

Regina put her fingers under your chin, turning your face towards her. Then, she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to yours.

That sudden display of affection caught you off guard, but as Regina deepened the kiss your resistance immediately faded away. The tension in your shoulders eased as you gave into your girlfriend. Regina gently took the book you were holding from you.

“Regina, no. I need to study” you pulled away and protested, but Regina just kissed you again.

“What was that for, anyway?” you questioned her as you finally broke apart.

“So you’d be focused on something else than your studies. I deserve some attention too, you know? Not only your stupid books” Regina smirked.

You narrowed your eyes at her “I know what you’re trying to do” you told her and turned back to your desk. As you attempted to pick up your books once more, Regina shot you an ice cold glare. "If you don't put that book down right now... I swear to god you'll regret it," she warned, her tone leaving no room for argument. Regina rarely used that glare on you, but when she did? She was serious about it. Her glare and tone of voice caused you to immediately put your book back down, holding your hands up in surrender.

"That's what I thought," Regina asserted, a smirk playing on her lips. "Now, you’re cleaning up this mess of books and notebooks on this desk first," she declared, taking charge of the situation and asserting her authority over the chaotic study environment you created over the last week. How you could even study in this mess was a mystery to Regina.

Reluctantly, you set aside your textbooks and notes as Regina took charge of making dinner in the meantime, bustling about the kitchen.

The aroma of home-cooked food soon filled the air, causing a low rumble to come from your stomach. You quickly finished cleaning up your stuff and walked to the kitchen where Regina stood behind the stove.

“That smells delicious” you told your girlfriend as you embraced her from behind, resting your chin on her shoulder.

“It does, huh? Can you set the table for me, please?” Regina requested.

“Of course” you replied, giving Regina a kiss on the cheek before removing yourself from her. You set the table for dinner and sat down, waiting for Regina and the food.

As Regina set the steaming hot plates of food on the table, you immediately started eating before Regina herself had even the chance to get seated.

Regina observed you quickly shoving down the food she made with concern. It's a confirmation of her suspicions – you hadn’t been eating well all week, too consumed by your studies to the point you forgot to eat. With a pointed look, Regina breaks the silence. “I'm definitely keeping a closer eye on you when the next exam period comes up. You're not taking care of yourself properly. You’re never skipping dinner with me again in an exam period," Regina said, her gaze unwavering.

You frowned at her and attempted to deflect her concern. “You really don't need to, that's asking too much of you." you insisted

But Regina's resolve remains unyielding. "I don't care what you think. I'm keeping an eye on you. And that's final," she declares, her words leaving no room for argument. With a sigh you accept defeat, knowing that Regina can’t be swayed once she has her mind set on something.

That’s one thing that hasn’t changed since high school: Regina always gets what she wants.

After dinner, you cleared the table and did the dishes together. Then, Regina insisted on cuddling with you.

Entering your room, you see Regina is already situated on the bed. She already removed her makeup and changed into something more comfortable.

"Come here, you," Regina said, opening her arms wide with a playful smile. "I need some cuddles."

You hesitated for a moment before relenting, changing into comfier clothes and joining your girlfriend in bed. As your head hit the silk pillow (that Regina bought for you, because according to her it’s better for your hair) you sighed in content. "I guess I could use some cuddles too," you admitted softly, smiling back at your girlfriend.

Regina pulled you close, wrapping you in a warm embrace. “Now, I know you’re tired so I’ll let you go to sleep in a bit, but you do need to promise me to give me attention tomorrow.” she said, softly stroking your hair.

“I promise, my love” you murmur, pressing a gentle kiss to Regina’s forehead.

Eventually exhaustion takes hold of you both, and you drift off to sleep, wrapped in each other's embrace.

The next day you would spend no time on your studies, but only on Regina. You were determined to make it up to her. You even took her out on a spontaneous date to one of the high end restaurants she loved to make up for the lack of attention you gave her the past week. Afterwards the two of you went shopping and then cuddled for the remainder of the evening.

And your exams? Passed with flying colours.

[hyuukais]

finally found

After years of radio silence and unresponsive calls, you had come to the sad conclusion that you just didn’t have a soulmate. No matter how hard you tried to find them, no one ever showed. That is until you suddenly find yourself in an unfamiliar place, shivering in the snow.

word count: 1.4k

genre: soobin x reader, soulmate au!, some fluff, some angst

warnings: none except they do kinda discuss how the idol industry is very overbearing and manipulative (in the context of soulmates)

a/n: guys i miss soobie boobie sm 😔😔 i wrote this instead of studying for my exams,,,,i really hope he’s resting and had a wonderful birthday spending time with his family. also big big big thank you to @gyumibear for beta-reading this and catching all of my great sleep-ridden typos 🫶 ur comments made me so happy, got me kicking my feet and giggling fr 🤭

Soft white dots the length of your hoodie, settling along your shoulders. Cold wind whips against your cheeks with a vicious fervor. Your fingers twitch at your side. Suddenly exposed to the frigid winter air, chills ripple through your skin. Barren trees dance around you as your senses slowly return. Shock and alarm take root in your stomach, looking around at the unfamiliar place you now find yourself in.

One moment you’d been curled up in the library, nursing a lukewarm coffee and desperately trying to memorize a semester's-worth of notes in a single sitting. Suddenly, you felt it. That desperate tug of your heart calling for you far, far away. Your soul being stretched from your body, frantically searching for its mate. Chest lurching forward as warmth broke out across your skin, you felt weightless and heavy all at once. You were no longer just one mind; two hearts beat in rhythm beneath your chest. The sensation had only ever been described to you before. Whispered wistfully from friends and family alike; speaking with a reverence that could rival prayer. Recounting the way they felt their heart joining with another; how it felt like, for the first time in their life, they were finally whole. It was a wonderful thing to be called by your soulmate, to be needed by them. For most, it happened by the time you were eighteen.

Your teenage years had come and gone with not but a peep, and as your eighteenth did the same, the sobering realization started to set in. With each year passed since then, any festering hope slowly melted away. No matter how you called, no response ever came. No matter how you searched, no one ever showed. At some point, you simply resigned that you were without a soulmate. You learned to live with that fact; even if you wanted that love, you would never have it.

Yet, here you were. Where once you were cramming for exams, you now stood in the middle of a quaint, little lawn slowly succumbing to the snow. Your heart thumped wildly against your ribs, still coming down from the adrenaline of jumping. Erratically taking in the scenery around you, your eyes land on the equally bewildered man staring back at you. Your heart stutters as you take in the sight of him. A pair of thick-rimmed glasses balanced precariously on his nose framed by fluffy black hair. His cheeks looked soft, and full, and, even in their wide state, his eyes glittered like constellations. He was beautiful. He was your soulmate. His heart called to you, to be loved, to be one.

“You…” The words slip from your lips in a breath as if you might shatter him with any noise. As if this was a dream you would soon wake up from.

He approached slowly as though you were a wild animal. Taking each step with unprecedented caution.“I-I…you…” He stopped a few feet from you, hair beginning to gather with snow. Flakes dusted his cheeks, stark against the blush overtaking them. Cute.

You took a step forward, forcing yourself to be brave. “We’re…”

“...Soulmates.” His words felt like an affirmation. A promise this was real, he was real.

His eyes were like coming home, like being melted in a mug of hot chocolate; warm, safe, familiar. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away. Slowly, you push a jittery hand forward, closing the gap between you.

“I-I’m Y/n.”

For a moment, his eyes break away to stare at your outstretched hand, mystified, before hesitantly taking it in his own. His long fingers envelop yours and, despite the cold sinking into your bones, the touch sends fire through your veins. You finally understand the reverence, the holiness of this moment, as it blooms in your chest. Like finding the final puzzle piece, a part of you you didn’t even know you were missing. Like your heart can finally beat on time, like your lungs can fill to the brim. Your eyes widen in tandem at this new euphoria, fingers clutching tighter.

“I’m…Soobin.” His voice melts like honey. You can't help but smile.

“Soobin…Soobin.” It tastes like sugar on your tongue, like vanilla and peppermint. “I thought…I would never find you.”

A clear wince runs across his face stirring a confusion in you. He avoids your eye as your brows furrow.

“Would…” His adam's apple bobs with a thick swallow. “Would you like to come inside? Just so—to get out of the cold and maybe we can…talk a bit more?” He glances back at the house, the dim light filtering through the back window. Then he looks at you, a hopeful smile replacing his light grimace. Dimples crease the corners of his cheeks.

You return the grin in full. “I would love to.”

Steam curls up and around the lip of your mug, the ceramic cradled preciously within your hands. You blow softly on the hot chocolate as you try to absorb this new information.

“So…” You stir the mix again, keeping your hands busy. “An idol?”

From the corner of your eye, the look on Soobin’s face is absurdly tense, keeping a close watch on every movement you make. “Y-yeah.”

“I should’ve guessed.” You hum, bringing a spoonful of cocoa to your lips, sending a fire down your throat as you swallow. “As hot as you are, of course you’d be famous.”

“O-oh.” Red rushes over his ears and cheeks, weighing his head down with embarrassment. You stifle the small giggle the sight brings. He runs a hand over his growing smile and looks back at you shyly. It makes your smile grow ever wider. “That’s—wow. Th-thank you, haha.”

“Just telling the truth.” His dimples curl along his lips and you have to fight the urge to lean over and kiss them.

He looks away again, his small falling slightly, “B-but, um, yeah. That’s kind of why we never got to meet.”

“What do you mean?”

“Obviously, it’s a bit taboo for idols to be in relationships, even if they’re soulmates.” A hand rubs his neck unconsciously, while he still can’t meet your eyes. “So, even when you’re a trainee, companies will usually find some way to block the connection.”

Your chest collapses, an open pit of dread in your stomach. It’s appalling, it’s devastating, and it hurts. He gave you up, but it was for his dream. “T-that…”

“Yeah, it isn’t the best…” The confliction must read on your face, the affliction of his word. His hand quickly finds yours. “But, know I did really want to meet you, it’s just…”

“Soobin.” His eyes hold a soft sorrow you know all too well. You squeeze his hand in reassurance, “It’s okay, I understand. You’re living your dream.”

The squeeze is returned with a gentle smile and a silence settles through the tiny living room. Your mugs sit side-by-side on the coffee table, perhaps a sight you could get used to. His family home is quaint, comforting. With no one else home at the moment, it settles with the sighs of old walls and floors.

“So…why now, then?” You break the silence. “Why did we finally meet today? Because, to be honest, the only thing I was worrying about today was not failing my Spanish exam.”

Your words hang in the air as he mulls them over. A quiet hum rumbles in his chest and, perhaps abesentmindedly, his fingers fiddled with yours.

“I guess, maybe…I mean, it’s my first birthday alone since I became trainee. Or, at least, without my members. I guess I just needed some pretty company.” That sweet, gummy smile molds against his cheeks once again. Lighting up the room just by itself. This time, there’s no holding yourself back this time as you lean across the couch cushions. Lips landing upon the soft swell of his cheek, a new giddines builds in your stomach. And when you pull away, you almost laugh at the shocked pink flooding his skin.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it, because now that I’ve found you, you’re never spending your birthday alone again.”

His laugh twinkles through the air, tugging at the once empty spot in your chest. There now rests him; his heart, his hope, and, one day, his love. With souls intertwined, that missing piece now finally found, you would never be lonely again. He’d be with you, heart beating in tandem against your chest, forever.

© HYUUKAIS 2024

[sweetchillipeppers]

Heads or Tails?

Jason Todd x Reader - Teacher AU Pt 2

Pairing: Jason Todd x Gender Neutral!Reader

While on a school trip, Two Face takes you and your class hostage in the Gotham Museum. After realising Damian is missing, you sneak away to find him, running into the Red Hood instead, who is of course, Mr Jason Todd, your colleague and forever rival, behind the mask. TW: Hostage-taking, guns, violence, blood, bad language

A/N The fic that started it. yeah I wrote this one first lol. I have not yet started writing part 3 and I have exams this week so it might be worked on next week. I don't plan on this series being longer than three parts but if inspiration strikes me, we'll see.

Tags: Rivals to lovers, mutual pining, teacher AU Word Count: 3716

Pt 1 Pt 2

Your students were rowdy on the bus. You could hardly blame them, it was far too early on a Saturday for your liking but you’d offered this history trip as an extra credit option open to your freshman class as part of your Ancient History topic and a surprising number of students were interested. So you, your teaching assistant and your 15 pupils all piled out the bus and into the Gotham Museum at 9am on a Saturday. The exhibition you were visiting was from Themyscira. Jewels, weapons, art: all very rare and very valuable. It was of course a walking advertisement to be robbed but the exhibition had been untouched for days so you had convinced your school board that this was a safe opportunity for the children to see some of the things you had been learning about in class. 

The exhibition room itself was large. It had clearly been styled to replicate Themyscira’s Greek architecture, with tall marble columns and large braziers lighting the room dramatically. Your class settles near the start of the exhibition and a tour guide who introduces themselves as Sammy begins the talk.

“And this is the original axe that Wonder Woman used. Beside it you can see some of the armour pieces she donated when the exhibition was first organised. Later you might even get to hold some.” The students all started chattering excitedly at the prospect. Your group was then led around the large room over to a tapestry depicting the history and movement of Themyscira into the international community. “Themyscira is now a thriving nation with Wonder Woman acting as their UN diplomat.” The guide then turns, “And over here we have some pottery shards depicting different parts of her life.” The first half of the tour wraps up shortly after that and the students are given some free time to explore the exhibition themselves. 

You make your way around the room, listening in and helping out the students with their worksheets until you overhear a group near the entrance. 

“It’s a pity Mr Todd couldn’t come,” you hear a student say. He wasn’t there, you’d made sure of it no matter how much your students begged. It’s unfortunate that the trip was scheduled the same day as an important rugby tournament. “Wonder Woman is his favourite superhero.”

It’s a pity that you now have to hate Wonder Woman for the rest of your life. Okay that’s dramatic but now she’s been ruined. Why would he do this to you? 

“My favourite is Batman. We’re Gothamites, remember?” One kid grins.

“Wonder Woman is an admirable hero but I must agree with Charlie, Batman is superior.” Damian interjects. You were glad he was starting to be more social in his classes after your conversation.

“I like Green Arrow.”

You can then hear raucous laughter as your student tries to defend her choice, until she locks eyes with you and decides that her safest bet is to offer you as a sacrifice instead. “Who’s your favourite hero?” 

Well you can’t say Wonder Woman anymore- even if that was a huge part in why you wanted to come to the exhibition. “Well I quite like Superman. I think he’s an inspiration to us all.” Safest choice. You get a few nods, and a couple eye rolls, of course you made this into a teaching moment. “But my favourite is Robin.” you finish.

Damian gleams at that for a second, puffing his chest out like a preening bird. He then checks his phone. “I must go to the bathroom. I will be back soon.” 

“Do you want someone to go with? The museum is pretty big.” 

“I do not require assistance. Besides, the next half of the talk will begin soon. I will not be long.”

The next half of the talk started soon after Damian left. The next speaker was very informative and the kids were filling out their worksheets diligently. The guide brought out a couple pieces of real Themyscerian armour when it happened. It started with gunshots near the front of the museum. Then silence. You ushered your kids quickly to the one side of the room alongside other museum visitors, getting them all to crouch low while you and your teaching assistant, Ms Anderson, peered into the corridor. The two security guards in the exhibit had their guns drawn, watching the front entrance double doors with bated breath. Silence. Too silent. The emergency exit door flung open behind you. You turn swiftly, using your arms to corral your kids close together by the wall in a huddle. More gunshots have you flinching. Then the spray stops. You look over at the two guards. Dead. A voice grabs your attention instead. 

Two-Face, flipping a coin absent-mindedly. “You will all be fine so long as no one plays the hero while we collect from this lovely display.” He says languidly. 

Multiple armed thugs walk into the room pointing guns at the civilians. Now hostages. 

“I would hate to hurt any of these cute kids” You scowl at him, not your smartest move but who could blame you. Two-Face smiles and flips his coin. Your eyes widen and Ms Anderson squeezes your hand. “Safe.” 

Two-Face replies. “Anyone else want a go?”

You sigh in relief, forcing yourself to swallow your pride and your anger. Your kids are here and you will not be the reason any of them die today. He had almost killed you. Your life was tethered to that stupid coin. 

Two-Face then demands everyone’s phones be handed in. You collect your classes. That’s when you notice it. Shit. You settle your class down, praying you miscounted,  sitting them on the floor and doing a quick headcount. 14. Double shit.

“Cathy.” You whispered but it came out almost like a breath. Your teaching assistant turned to you. “We’re one kid short.”

“What?” She frantically replied, “Who?”

“Damian. He went to the bathroom, just before the attack started.”

“Shit.” Cathy paused, doing a quick headcount of her own. “Shit. When Batman gets here we’ll tell him.”

“We don’t have time to wait for Batman.”

“You really think they'd hurt him? We’re hostages, how would shooting a child help?”

“I am not taking that chance. I’ve got to find him.”

“During the active hostage situation? How do you plan to do that?”

You have no idea. You suppose you’d need a distraction. Something to draw attention to the rest of the museum so you can sneak out and find Damian. 

A distant bang can be heard. More gunshots. Some of your students cover their ears. Two-Face directs three men to come with him when they leave to investigate. 

“Batman will be here soon,” Ms Anderson says with an encouraging smile to the class. Some of your students nod to each other. 

“Come on guys,” You chime up, “Do you really think Wonder Woman is going to let someone just steal all her stuff? I’m sure the entire Justice League is on their way” 

Your students seem more relaxed by this. There are only two guards left in the room both with heavy weaponry. Some kind of assault rifle you’re sure. But you still need a way out to find Damian. Now more than ever seeing as Two-Face has left the exhibition.

You take a deep breath and stand up. “Um, excuse me, Mr Guard sir,” You ask, hoping you sound very innocent, “I really need the bathroom. Like super bad.”

“Hold it.” He grunts.

“Oh um, I can’t. I have IBS?”

“Fine. Come on. Where’s the toilets?” Well, he sure changed his opinion quick. But you know what they say, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

“What, you're just gonna take her?” The other guard groans. 

“Uh yeah. I have a wife with IBS. When they got to go, they got to go.”

“So you’re gonna leave me by myself for the Batman?”

“One: Batman's nocturnal. It’s lunchtime. I don’t think he’s coming.” Some of your students snicker at this but Cathy silences them quickly. “And two: you are the only one in the room with a semi automatic gun. And the emergency exit has two guards right outside. But I guess if you can’t handle it I can call in one of the boys from the prehistoric section.”

“No I can handle it… just be quick.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The goon turns to you, “Come on.”

Okay. Stage one complete. And you’re going to the toilets towards Damian which is good. Unfortunately you don’t know how to lose the guard you have. You want to observe him but he’s walking behind you so you have no idea if he has any back up weapons. You reach the nearest toilets quickly and you strain to listen for any noise coming from the men’s bathroom. Nothing. Either Damian was hiding very well or he wasn’t in there anymore. You still needed to check for yourself, just to be safe. 

“Um sorry, can you go grab my bag? I don’t have my medication on me, they're in my purse. I left it in the other room.” You ask the guard, begging for a miracle.

“Oh no problem.” You breathe in full of hope that he’s just going to leave you unattended until he pulls a plastic sandwich bag with medication out of his suit jacket and hands it to you. You blink. 

“They’re for my wife. Always good to be prepared. What kind do you need?” 

You blink again.

“Uhhh. The anti-diuretics?”

He hands you the pill pack. “I’ll wait here, be quick.” He orders.

You walk into the bathroom.

You must be in shock. Yeah, that must be it. This is the strangest hostage situation you’ve been in. But you still needed to find Damian. 

You’d only just started pacing in the bathroom when the door slams open and the goons body falls to the ground. Your eyes widen as the Red Hood stalks in. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He demands. The Red Hood is as imposing as one would expect an ex-crime lord turned vigilante to be. But you don’t have time to consider the politics of vigilantism. 

“It’s one of my kids. His name’s Damian. He wasn’t with the group when the attack started. He was in the bathroom. You need to help me find my kid. Please.” You beg.

Red Hood stands there for a second stunned. Jason wasn’t really used to anything but cold and snide remarks from you, and maybe the occasional light-hearted jab. Aside from that heart to heart on parents’ evening that started sincere and well-meaning, when you remembered yourself, you returned to harshness or just plain avoided him. To see you so worried over Damian was a breath of fresh air. He stood unmoving for far too long so you decided you would at least check the other bathroom while his brain rebooted or whatever. Jason only saw a glimpse of you leaving the room, when he ran out after you, and watched you enter the neighbouring door. 

“Damian.” You whisper-shouted “Damian. It’s me. Are you here? Tell me you're here.” 

No reply.

Then you spot it. Damian’s backpack on the floor of a locked cubicle. “Shit. Damian!” You pull yourself up to look into the cubicle, praying to any and all gods out there that there was a perfectly good reason he wasn’t responding. You breathe a sigh but you don’t know whether you should be relieved or not. The cubicle was empty.

“He’s not here.” You say, absentmindedly as you pull the backpack out from under the cubicle door and swing it onto your shoulder.

“You can’t just run off like that.” Red Hood chastises. “You could get hurt.”

“So could my student.” You whip back at the man. “Who is not here and could be bleeding out somewhere. I need to find him. I have a duty of care to these kids.”

This was the version of you Jason was used to. An angry spitfire, although he hadn’t seen righteous fury before. The protectiveness you have over your students, his brother in particular, made him feel something. Although he wasn’t entirely sure what.

“Look, you need to calm down. Describe the kid.” he of course knew what Damian looked like. He also knew that you wouldn’t find him because he was in his Robin costume fighting Two-Face. He was sure Alfred would be having a conversation with him about smuggling his Robin costume onto a school trip in his backpack. But he needed to calm you down and convince you that Damian was safe. 

“Damian Wayne. 5”4, dark black hair, green eyes.” You paused, thinking for a moment, “Angry eyebrows.” 

He choked a laugh back.

“I already found him. He’s safe, outside with the GCPD.” 

“Oh thank god.” Jason watches you release 10 years worth of stress from your body at that admittance. “We need to get back to the group. If I stay away too long the guards might get suspicious and something might happen to the kids.” 

God, Jason had misjudged you. You had a heart of pure, shining gold. He feels bad about all the misunderstandings now. He promises himself that he'll be nicer to you on Monday but first he needs to focus on getting you out. 

“There’s one guard in the room with the hostages and two outside the emergency exit. Do you think the GCPD has dealt with the two outside?”

Jason is attracted to competence, and holy shit you're competent right now. Making plans, working to protect the kids. Maybe his colleagues were right when they said you were amazing.

“No but Robin will have. Robin report.” He orders, pressing his fingers up to his earpiece.

You wait for a moment as he talks with Robin.

“Wait here.” He orders, “I need to deal with the one guard in the exhibition hall. Lock yourself in a stall. I’ll be back in less than five.”

And with that, the Red Hood leaves you alone. 

You move into a stall, locking the door and pulling your feet onto the toilet seat. Five minutes feels like forever. And it can’t have been more than three minutes when you see the light of the outside stream in through the open door on the floor. You get down and unlock the stall. “That was hardly five minutes,” you start as you walk into the bathroom. Then you stop. That’s not the Red Hood. 

“Fuck.”

Jason dealt with the last guard easily. No problems in the slightest. He got everyone out the emergency exit and reassured the nice old lady called Cathy that you were fine and Damian had been rescued earlier, that he was going back out for you in just a moment. He opened his com line: “Exhibition room secure, hostages with GCPD.”

“Hood, you did not save my teacher.” Robin’s voice was shaky down the line.

“Ms Anderson is with the paramedics and the rest of your class, I left (Y/N) in the bathroom with your backpack, I’m going back for her now.” Jason rolled his eyes and walked back into the building.

“Hood, building entrance. Two-Face has (L/N).”

Jason hasn’t felt this guilty in a while, running through the corridors of the museum and taking out at least 7 more goons on his way to Robin. He can’t believe he didn’t leave you somewhere more secure or at least with a weapon. Now he has to be the most nicest he’s ever been on Monday. If you make it to Monday. He spots a barely contained rage of a Robin trying to reason with Two-Face, who is holding you against himself, gun to your temple. Jason is glad he can’t see your face. He doesn’t know if he can take it. To see you so terrified when you were so strong just 10 minutes ago.

“Heads? Or tails?” Two-Face asks.

Robin is scanning for any way to disarm him, all his guards are gone but with you in the firing line there’s nothing that can be done. He starts to sneak toward the group.

“I know you’re back there, Red Hood. Stop sneaking around. Or this cute teacher gets it” Two-Face’s rough tone softens mockingly, “Make a bet, start a gamble, heads or tails?” Jason comes out of his hiding place and stalks towards his brother. He would blow Dent’s face off if he could. All he needs is an opening. He’d probably have to fight Damian for the honour though. 

“Did my class make it out okay?” It’s the first words you’ve said since Jason entered the room and judging by Damian’s barely sealed expression it’s the first they’ve heard you talk as well.

“Yes.” Jason responds.

You smile and take another breath, adrenaline spiking. “Flip the coin.”

Jason’s eyes widened, he figured they could get at least a few minutes before you’d be forced into the 50/50 but you’d sped up the process. Why? Was this confrontation really so hopeless? 

Two-Face flips the coin and as it arcs through the sky Jason shoots it, sending it careening of course toward the front desk. Two-Face lets out a wail and begins dragging you both toward where the coin landed while the vigilantes watch.

He pushes you down onto all fours, gun still at your head, “Find it.” You gulp and start searching for the coin that held your fate. There you see it, angled in a grout line and you see the coin's scars marked upwards. 

Jason didn’t think Two-Face noticed your flinch, and if he did, he probably put it towards the general anxiety. But Jason saw. Jason knows you’ve seen that coin. And he knows you didn’t make it. He knows you’re playing on borrowed time now and borrowing from the house never ends well for anyone. He nods to Robin. They have to strike now. He waits for anything that could work as a distraction, he hopes to the Gods for anything but the Gods are silent. It’s you who takes charge again. “I think I see it, I just need to stretch more.” Two-Face moves his gun back as you flop onto your stomach and army crawl so you can reach that bit further. Maybe you could flip the coin, change your own fate. Would two-Face know? Your breathing wasn’t even anymore. Your thoughts didn’t make sense. You just want to go home. You shut your eyes tight and as you grasp the coin and cry “Got it!” Hood launches himself at Two-Face, who fumbles, not having seen the results of his coin and fires instead a warning shot next to your head. It doesn’t matter though because Robin has you and is dragging you towards the doors saying something that sounds like “You’re okay, you’re fine, everyone is safe.” and prying the coin away from your hands but you just don’t know anymore. He brings you to the paramedics but doesn’t head back inside. He doesn’t leave at all. Instead he stands silently next to you like a guard dog or loyal hawk. “Don’t you need to help Red Hood?”

“No.” He responds immediately.

The two of you sit in silence until Cathy comes stumbling over. “Oh my goodness we were all so worried. Are you okay? And before you ask if the kids are all fine, don't worry, everyone is accounted for.” She rambles.

“Even Damian?” You ask.

Robin tenses.

“No but I was assured by Bruce Wayne himself that he made it safely home when I called earlier.”

“Oh thank god. I’m so glad. How are you feeling?”

“Me? I think I might retire next week. I won’t be on any field trips for a while after this. I think it’s too much excitement for my heart.” Cathay laughs, “Do you have a ride home? I’m just getting everyone picked up or sent home and was going to head off myself. You are more than welcome to join me.” She offers, probably feeling somewhat guilty over your ordeal. For no reason of course. It was hardly her fault you were held at gunpoint.

“Don't worry Cathy, I’ll be fine getting back. When the last kid is gone, go home. I’ll do all the paperwork and incident report tomorrow.”

“Oh honey you are an angel, I’ll bring in a lovely cake for you and the class on Monday, we certainly deserve it.” She grins and heads off past the police tape and back to the stragglers of children who haven’t yet gone home.

It’s barely even a minute or perhaps it’s an hour before Red Hood drags Two-Face out of the museum, tied up. The police move in to gather the various unconscious thugs scattered around the building and the vigilantes walk toward you. 

“Are you alright?” Red Hood asks, modulated voice heavy.

“I’m fine, no injuries.” You say. You’re really just tired. It’s been too long a day. You want to go home. “I’m sorry for leaving you in the bathroom by myself. I figured Two-Face was busy with Robin.”

“He was busy. It was some goons who dragged me there. It was just dumb stupid bad luck, don’t blame yourself. Besides, if I hadn’t left the group none of this would’ve happened. I’m sorry for making the fight harder.” You curl inwards.

Robin speaks up.

“Do not apologise. You were noble and brave searching for your missing student. I’m sorry you were not informed of his safety.” 

“It’s okay Robin, you guys don’t have control over everything that happens in a situation like this.” You try to encourage the young hero.

“You have a good attitude. You would definitely be my favourite teacher.” Jason can’t help but bristle at Damian’s favouritism, wasn’t he the brother?

“Aww thank you. You’re my favourite hero, Robin. Superman’s got nothing on you.” You smile. God that smile would knock Jason out. He’s honestly quite glad you hate him at the school. He doesn’t think he could manage if you treated him so kindly. Unbeknownst to Jason of course, you suppose that, secretly, Red Hood was also your favourite. He had changed your fate. And after saving your life it didn’t seem that Wonder Woman could really compare to the Red Hood.

Dividers made by @/cafekitsune

Taglist: @theendofthematerialgworl @salvatt1 @insideoutjulie

[freyaphoria]

HIIIIII I'm too shy to say this, I really like and so into yandere ateez (especially yunho and seonghwa asjxbvg) and thank god I found your account and I really like your works thank you so much❤️❤️❤️

can you do yandere psychotic best friend yunho who is jealous of y/n 's boyfriend bcs she didn't tell yunho for dating, it will be great if yunho keeps her in his "special" place🥹 love youuuuu

Hello! First of all, I liked your idea very much, but I think I couldn't write it. It seriously didn't sit well with me at all. I wrote some parts of the story and it had been in drafts for a long time, but I felt like I was lost in the story and couldn't get it together. This is the first time I've experienced something like this. I am very sorry. Still, I want to share it with you. I hope you won't get bored while reading. AND srry for my English♡ AND THANK YOU FOR 300 FOLLOWERS♡

Best Friends Forever

tw: yandere best friend Yunho, boyfriend Seonghwa, blood, violence, manipulation, yunho is annoying, knife, death, corpse, idk it's yandere fic expect everything

wc: 4113- WAIT WHAT???

taglist: @aim-blossom

(I wrote kinda after story but please read the main fic first)

You and Yunho had been best friends for about 12 years. You met in primary school and have been inseparable ever since. Yunho had been very protective of you since those times. He didn't want you to have another friend, he would pout when you were talking to your classmates and try to attract your attention. You would have found it cute at the time; Yunho's high school entrance exam score is higher than yours and he enrolled in the high school you went to instead of going to a better school didn't bother you either. After all, you were happy with Yunho.

But things started to go wrong when someone asked you out. Since you and Yunho were like conjoined twins and the only point where you separated was when you went to the bathroom, that boy ask you at the bathroom door. He was someone you were interested in, and you were very excited and happy when he asked you out. Neither of you have ever had a lover before. Yunho always said there was no need for a lover when we had each other. Since you were asked out for the first time in your life, you didn't know what to do and you told that boy to give you time to think.

When you went to Yunho, you saw that his face was sullen and his mood was low. When you asked what happened, he didn't give you an answer and said he was sleepy. Whenever Yunho got angry, he used the excuse that he was sleepy and wanted to be alone. So you didn't ask him any more questions and focused on your own work.

You didn't tell Yunho that someone had asked you out because you were embarrassed. Time passed, you decided to accept, but you couldn't find that boy at school. When you asked his friends where he was, you learned that he was missing. It seemed odd that he was missing because he was a popular kid and there was no reason for him to disappear, they suspected something had happened to him. Again, of course, you didn't suspect something.

Something bad happened once that you will never forget. While you were walking outside with Yunho, a middle-aged man tapped you on the shoulder and gently pulled you back to ask something. But the moment his hand touched your shoulder, Yunho grabbed the man's collar, pinned him to the tree behind, and started hitting him hard in the face. It happened so fast that before you knew it, the man was lying on the ground covered in blood. When you grabbed Yunho's arm and tried to stop him, you saw how scary his eyes were. It was your first time seeing this side of Yunho.

When it was time for you to enroll in college, Yunho was trying to convince you to go to the same university. Because your families loved you both very much, they allowed you to enroll in a university outside the city.

You rented a tiny house, it was a cute dorm with two rooms, a living room and a kitchen. Everything was going very well. Until Yunho starts meddling in your everything.

When you went out with your girlfriends, you had to send Yunho your location and tell him who you were meeting with. If he found out that you were lying, he would be in an unhappy mood at home all day long and give you silent treatment.

"Girls wait, I have to inform Yunho that we are going to the party. Maybe he won't allow it. " One of the girls let out a sighed. "What is he to you? Your boyfriend? Your father? Why are you asking him for permission?" You texted Yunho and rolled your eyes at your friend. "He thinks what's best for me. The last time I didn't listen to him and went to Hongjoong's party, his friend was pulling me into his bedroom." You looked at Yunho's message notification.. He always saw it as soon as you texted him. Another friend of yours mumbled. "He was incredibly hot. I'd like to be in your place." After rolling your eyes at that friend too, you read the message.

Yuyu: Where do you think you're going?

Yuyu girls insisted, I will

show up for a while and then

leave.

Yuyu: No, you can't go. You don't know who is there. Why don't you go to a cafe?

"He definitely didn't give permission, did he?" You huffed, looking at your phone and shaking your head. "No he didn't." As you were leaving your friends and getting ready to return home, your friend stopped you. "Enough is enough, I'm so tired of this situation. We'll get there and Yunho won't be able to stop you." Before you could say anything, your friends grabbed your arm and started dragging you. "Wait! Let me at least reply to his message!"

Okay, we're going to the

cafe next to the subway.

Yuyu: Send me your location when you arrive.

Wooyoung, your distant friend from the same department, used to throw the best parties you've ever seen. You had attended with Yunho a few times and had a lot of fun. When you entered the door, you were greeted by Wooyoung's best friend San. "You? Where is Yunho? Am I dreaming or what? Or did you finally manage to walk around separately?" He mockingly put his hand to his heart and pretended to have a heart attack. "San, don't exaggerate, we could hang out separately sometimes." San smiled at you and gestured for you to go inside. Your friends ran inside and got lost in the crowd. "Sometimes. It would be more accurate to say rarely." He took two drinks from the table and handed one to you. "He's so on your side that we didn't get to meet properly last time.” He took a sip of his drink and extended his hand to you. "I'm San." You shook his hand and laughed. "Oh really? I didn't know." When San opened his mouth to say something, the guy who studied in the same department as Yunho came behind San and put his arm around his shoulder. "We're out of drinks, can you get new ones from the garage?" San finished the drink in his hand and nodded his head. "Can you keep an eye on her until I get back? She's trying to socialize without her owner for the first time." As San ran away, you shouted after him to shut up.

“Uhm, what did he mean?” You were so embarrassed that you couldn't make eye contact. "It's nothing important, he's just kidding." You laughed nervously. "I'm Seonghwa, by the way. I'm in the same department as your friend." You finally lifted your head and looked at Seonghwa's face. You seemed mesmerized. His facial features were so beautiful that for a moment you wanted to touch his face to check whether he was real or not.

"I know, I've seen you before." You introduced yourself and shook hands. At that moment, your phone vibrated. There were 8 messages and 2 missed calls from Yunho. "Oh I'm sorry. I need to call my friend. Is there a quiet place here?" Seonghwa thought for a moment and answered. "Wooyoung's room. He doesn't let anyone in at parties. You can talk there. I'll let you in." You went upstairs and entered the room and Seonghwa closed the door and left you alone. You called him directly without looking at the messages.

"Where are you!?" His voice sounded urgent and angry. "Don't worry, I'm fine." "I didn't say how are you. I said, where are you?" His tone of voice had changed. "The girls insisted so much. I couldn't say no." Yunho sighed on the other end of the phone. "That's why I tell you not to be friends with others. They always lead you into bad things!" You wondered if he might be right, but you weren't doing anything bad. You were just at your friend's party. "I'm going home Yunho." When you hung up the phone, tears filled your eyes. You were tired of him meddling in your everything. You also wanted to attend parties and hang out like your other firends.

When you suddenly opened the door to the room, Seonghwa, who was leaning against the wall next to the door, jumped. "Oh you scared me- Wait are you crying?" You tried to wipe away the tears that filled your eyes with your hands. "I'm fine. I have to go." Your voice cracked and tears began to flow from your eyes. "You can't go anywhere like this. Calm down first. If you want, you can tell me what happened, I'll listen to you." You looked at Seonghwa. He said it very sincerely. You simply told him what happened about your toxic friendship with Yunho, and Seonghwa listened intently without taking his eyes off you. "You must be so overwhelmed. Come on, let me hug you." He had no other intentions while hugging. He hugged you very shyly. He just wanted to comfort you. For the first time in your life, a man other than Yunho and who wasn't from your family was hugging you.

Once you calmed down a bit, you broke the hug to go back home. Seonghwa offered to take you home but you refused. You didn't want to provoke Yunho any further. Seonghwa wasn't comfortable with the fact that you were going home alone. So he asked you to text him as soon as you got home and you got each other's numbers.

When you got home, not much happened. Yunho was also upset with you and didn't talk. To win his heart, you offered to play Valorant together even though you didn't like it at all, and Yunho immediately ran to his computer.

This is how you started talking to Seonghwa. Just as you met very quickly, you also became lovers very quickly. Usually, since your classes with Yunho were at different times, Seonghwa would skip class and come to meet you while Yunho was in class. You used to text each other when you were at home. You were afraid to talk on the phone because if Yunho heard, he would definitely question who you were talking to. You talked like this for 2 months and Seonghwa said he wanted to date you. You truly loved him with all your heart and you were sure that he loved you too. That's why you accepted and became lovers.

You decided to hide it from Yunho for a while. Seonghwa was also not happy with Yunho's restrictive actions, but he respected you because he knew Yunho's value in you and didn't say anything.

Yunho, of course, understood that something was going on. You were spending more time on your phone, you were getting ready every morning with more enthusiasm for college, you were taking more care of yourself, and you were laughing much more than before. But he waited because he wanted you to come and tell him yourself.

Yunho could tell from the decrease in your grades and the increase in the number of classes you failed that you were not attending classes. One day, he decided not to attend class and follow you. When he saw you and Seonghwa hugging and you kissing him lightly on the lips, he almost jumped on Seonghwa right there and beat him until he broke all his bones. But of course he wasn't going to do that in front of you again, so he waited for you to come back to class.

When you returned to class half an hour later, Yunho approached Seonghwa. "Hello Seonghwa, I have a problem with my car. Can you help me?" He was trying to stay as calm as possible so that his plan would work. "Hi Yunho. Uh, I don't know much about cars, but..." Yunho roughly wrapped his arm around his shoulder and started dragging him towards the college parking lot. "It's simple, don't worry."

He opened his car door and pushed Seonghwa into the backseat. "Can you see there's a problem there?" He said, looking behind as if he was looking for something. "What? I can't see anything." Yunho opened the front door, took the crowbar in his hand and got out of the car. He approached the back door and looked at Soenghwa. "The problem is that you're touching the girl who is my everything." Just as he was about to lift the crowbar and hit him, Seonghwa slid sideways in the backseat and tried to open the other door. He tried with all his might but couldn't open it because Yunho had locked it; so he started kicking the door. But Yunho reached towards him and hit him in the neck with the crowbar and Seonghwa fainted.

You called Seonghwa about 5 times but he is not answering. Thinking that his phone was out of battery, you went to the classroom where he had a lesson, but you couldn't find him. Just as you were about to turn around and go look elsewhere, you collided with someone.

"Tiny, were you looking for me?" Yunho grabbed your forearms and hugged you. "Oh, um yeah. What are you doing?" You lowered your face so he couldn't tell the look of tension on your face. "I was looking for you too. My lesson is over, I will go home. I thought I'd take you too." You were still looking at Seonghwa with nervous eyes as Yunho wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you away from the classroom. "There's no need, Yuyu, I have some work to do, I'll come home later." Yunho knew you were looking for Seonghwa; After all, he had his phone in his hand and had seen your missed calls and messages. "But we have a very special guest at home waiting for you. Let's not keep him waiting, shall we?" Your eyebrows suddenly frowned. Him? Who is he? "Who-" He interrupted you by pulling you a little faster. "You'll see when we get home."

When you got into the car, you suddenly noticed something. His car smelled different. It smells like the perfume you bought for Seonghwa. "Did you change your perfume?" Yunho was smiling. But it was different. "No tiny, I use the same perfume." You trusted your senses and sure enough, his car smelled like Seonghwa. You wondered if you were dreaming because you were so worried about him.

The car ride took longer than you expected. You were constantly texting Seonghwa but he still wasn't responding. You even thought that he got bored of you and left you, but you were fine the last time you met him.

"Where are we going? This highway doesn't go to our house" You were surprised when Yunho drove into a forested area. You looked at Yunho's face, but it was like he wasn't your friend. It was very cold and... scary.

"Yunho? I said where are we're going?" You raised your voice but he was still driving without looking at you. Another ten minutes passed like this in the forest and you finally came to an old house. Even though it was old, it looked well-kept, but it was obvious that no one had lived in it.

"Where is this place? Why did we come here?" Yunho got out of the car and opened your door. "Get off the car." His tone was as foreign as you've ever heard before. "Yun-" "I said. Get. Off. That. Fucking. Car." He uttered each word in an increasingly harsh tone. You got scared and got out of the car and backed away from him, but he grabbed your arm and dragged you home. You tried to look around a bit, but all you saw were huge pine trees reaching up to the sky.

Yunho unlocked the door and pushed you inside. You held on to the wall to keep your balance and not fall to the ground. Now you were getting angry too. "Yunho seriously... What's your problem?" He locked the door again and turned to you. "What is my problem? What is your problem? Since when did you start doing things behind my back?" You more or less understood what he was talking about. "Yunho what you're talking about- wait, that bag-" Your blood ran cold when you saw the bag on the old sofa. The bag that Seonghwa always used and the one hanging on the bag was the Lego keychain that you bought for each other. "Huh? Bag?" Yunho looked at where you were looking and smiled. "Oh, that bag belongs to our guest. Should we go give it to him?" When Yunho took the bag and handed it to you, you saw the tiny blood stains on it. "Yunho, is Seonghwa here?" Your hands started to shake. You understood what was going to happen from the atmosphere around. "Why don't you come and see for yourself?" Yunho grabbed your forearm and dragged you to the stairs. Your legs wouldn't have carried you if Yunho hadn't held you tightly as you walked down the dusty stairs.

You wished he'd never opened that basement door. If you had the opportunity to talk, you would probably object to him not opening it.

When he opened the door to the dark basement, the light coming out hit your boyfriend's face covered in blood lying on the ground and he tried to retreat back, whining. "Hwa!!!" Removing your arm from Yunho, you ran to Seonghwa and crouched down on the ground. "Hwa!!! What happened to you!?" His eyes widened when he looked at your face and he tried to sit up. "No, you shouldn't be here." You looked at his face, his lip was split and somewhere on his head was bleeding. As you moved your eyes over his body, you found a wound somewhere. His leg, arm, abdomen, everywhere was covered in blood.

"Who did this to you?" Your hands were shaking, you couldn't touch him. You felt as if the moment you touched it would make his wounds wider. "Love, you have to go. Run away from here. He is crazy-" He coughed up blood when Yunho kicked him in the back, splattering all over you. "Yunho!!!" You didn't want to believe that your best friend was the one who did this to Seonghwa. You looked at his face as if waiting for an explanation from him. "What? He called you love." He shrugged and went deeper into the room, searching for something.

"You n-need to get out of h-here as soon as possible. Don't e-even look back." He tried to push you. It was very ironic that even though the bone in his arm was broken and was out, he still thought about you. "Hwa! Don't speak. I will help you." You got behind him and wrapped your arms around his chest and tried to drag him. "Agh!!" You stopped for a moment as he groaned in pain. "Hwa, give me some help. Can you push yourself?" He put his hands on yours and tried to remove them away from his chest. "We can't do this love. You need to run- AGH!!!" He shouted as Yunho brought a hammer down on his leg. "Yunho!!! Stop!!!!" You rushed forward and grabbed Yunho's arms. "If you're done with your loving escape plan, can we get back on topic?" When Yunho turned to look at you, Seonghwa crawled forward and tried to grab you. "Don't h-hurt her!" Yunho rolled his eyes and twirled the hammer in his hand. "You don't seem in a position to speak." He put his hands on your chin and lifted your head and you looked into his eyes. His eyes were so foreign. He was definitely not the Yuyu you knew.

"Do you want to explain why you hid your relationship from me?" He moved closer to you, his breath caressing your lips. "W-what relationship?" If you were the reason he did this to Seonghwa, you would never forgive yourself for the rest of your life. Yunho was a bit of an obsessive guy, you already knew that. But you never thought he would get this far.

"Don't play dumb. Or how about this?-" When he slammed the hammer on Seonghwa's leg again, Seonghwa's breath hitched and he couldn't even scream. "No, wait! I'll explain!" You grabbed his arm and tried to pull the hammer from his leg. He turned to you and looked for an answer. "I didn't tell you because I was afraid of your reaction. But I was going to tell you! I swear! I'm just waiting for the right time." Yunho growled as if he didn't like your answer. "You don't understand." He got up from the floor and grabbed one of the large knives hanging on the back wall. "It's not my reaction that matters. What's important is that you betray our friendship and date someone." You rushed forward as you put the knife to Seonghwa's neck. "Please stop! Don't! I'm sorry!" He started pressing the knife on Seomghwa's neck. "Don't? Is he that important to you?" You froze when you saw the blood flowing from Seonghwa's neck. "Is he so important that he brings tears to your eyes? Why have you never cried for me but are you crying for him?" Seonghwa started to squirm in place. He was still looking into your eyes with love but fear. You knew he didn't blame you. "Drop the knife! What do you want?" Yunho pretended to think for a while. "Hmm... What do I want?.. I want you." Seonghwa tried to move angryly. "W-what does that mean?" Yunho chuckled. "So I want you, your body, your soul, your mind, everything. I want to be the only one on your mind. Only I want to look at you, only I want to hear you." He looked at Seonghwa with disgust for a second. "Without this idiot. I want to be the one to love and protect you. So while your dear boyfriend dies here, I will take his place and you won't be able to leave here." Seonghwa tried to reach you with his arms as Yunho pressed the knife dangerously deep. You grabbed his arms. Yunho let him go and you pulled him into your chest, cradling his head in your arms. "You crazy psychopath! Why did you do this!" As Seonghwa started to tremble in your arms, you placed your hand on his neck and tried to stop the bleeding. Yunho was watching you from the side, as if pitying you.

"Please help him! I swear we won't talk again. I'll do whatever you want!" Yunho headed towards the basement door. "Let me leave you alone in your last moments. Seonghwa, if you kiss her, I will find and hunt you in your other life too.”

Seonghwa's trembles began to subside and his breathing began to slow down. His eyes never left yours. He was still looking at you with admiration. "I'm so, so sorry. I swear I didn't know he was like this. I will help you. Phone. Where is my phone? I can't find it, where is it?-" Just as you were about to get up to look around anxiously, he tried to reach for your neck and pull you towards him. When he looked at your lips, you understood what he wanted. You kissed him. "Escape from here. Live for me."

When Yunho returned to the basement with a large black bag in his hand, he found you cowering in the corner of the room, your legs pulled up to you and crying. "Ah, you loved him that much?" He leaned over the body lying on the ground and checked his pulse. "If you loved him, why are you in the corner and not with him right now?" He started to open the bag. "Cold." Yunho paused for a second, looked at you confused. "It's summer. Isn't it hot in here? Why are you cold?" You pointed to the body lying on the ground with your index finger. Yunho smiled at you. "Oh yeah, he's cold."

You were still in your corner, watching your best friend put your boyfriend's body into a bag. How funny.

When Yunho finished his work and approached you, you tried to retreat more. "What? Why are you avoiding me?" You couldn't look at him. "I don't know you anymore." You really didn't know the person in front of you. All the memories of 12 years were instantly erased and you were meeting someone new. "Don't you recognize me? It's me, your boyfriend." He caressed your face but you didn't feel it. Because of the shock you were experiencing, you didn't feel anything, neither physically nor emotionally. "And this is our new home."

a/n: This is the longest thing I've ever written and I've been trying to write for days but I keep getting lost in the story. And I didn't like it at all, I apologize to you again. I would like to thank you if you read this far without getting bored, because I would get bored.

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 12

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11)

Oof, so this took me forever to write. A week and a half. But now it's finally here, the final post of this meta series. And yes, I did hit 20k words by the finale, oops. The analysis part alone is at 20.1k words. In total, this meta series is at 150k words. When I wrote that very first post about episodes 1+2 in on single sitting, pulling an all-nighter to both write, gif, and publish it I never expected it to turn into this huge project that has become. Don't ask how much sleep I was getting while I was writing these metas. And don't ask how my studies have been going since early December (I was gonna write two exams a week from me publishing this but I haven't done any studying so far whatsoever rip). Totally worth it, though. Anyway, I don't wanna keep you on your toes any longer, so have fun <3

By the way, I apologize in advance, but the section cover pics had to go for this one. Instead I bring you.... more gifs! Yay!

Acknowledgments: To everyone who regularly liked and/or reblogged and/or commented... THANK YOU 😘 Your encouragement really kept me going over these past few weeks, even when my brain was feeling really exhausted from thinking so long and so hard about this series and especially this character. I had a blast going on this journey and I'm glad I got to share it with you. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. I love you.

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise. And I WILL be specifying otherwise this time hehe.

To recap: Last episode Style got to spend a lovely 24 hours of saying goodbye to Fadel before the one thing that Style has been dreading the most (safe for Fadel's death, probably) happened: Fadel got arrested. And there's nothing Style could do about it but watch. And now he has to live with the fact that his boyfriend will be in prison for the next five long years.

No. 1: Visitors

Kant and Style go visit their boys in prison together and it seems to be their first visit in general, considering how both couples are catching up. We don't know how long it's been since they last saw each other, but I assume it must have been more than just a couple of days, since we later learn that the burger restaurant has already been sold.

Either way, Style is now sitting in front of Fadel, asking him how prison is. Fadel says it's not that bad and Style checks in once more to make sure Fadel is really fine: "Really? You sure you're not saying that just to make me happy? I've seen some interviews, and the people who have been here said it was awful."

After all, Style knows Fadel and he knows Fadel is prone to pretending that everything is fine when really, it isn't. Style even called Fadel out on it in episode 7: "Just admit when it hurts. You don't have to be tough all the time." Back then Style also told Fadel: "I'm worried about you, you know? I was afraid something would happen to you.*"

*กลัวมึงเป็นไรไปอ่ะ [gluua - mueng - bpen rai - bpai - àh] afraid - you - have a problem - [particle] Official subs: I thought you were a goner.

Now, about half a series later Fadel is finally very well aware of just how much Style worries about his well-being and, with a laugh, reassures him once more that prison really isn't that bad. Style lets it go and tells Fadel: "I really miss you, though." And let me just share what I learned when I asked my Thai friend about the phrase ก็...อยู่ดี [gôh ... yùu dii], because I wasn't entirely sure what it meant: according to my friend it means "still" (German speakers: he translated it as "immer noch"), so the line goes more like:

But I still miss you. แต่กูก็คิดถึงมึงอยู่ดีนะ [dtàe - guu - gôh - kít-tĕung - mueng - yùu dii - ná] but - I - miss - you - still - [na]

They've been separated for a while now, but Style still misses Fadel. Style hasn't stopped missing Fadel. Fadel acknowledges that and tells him "When you do, just come visit." And for those curious about the literal wording (it doesn't really change anything, but I know you guys love this <3):

If you miss me, then come visit me like this. ถ้ามึงคิดถึงกูอ่ะ ก็มาหากูแบบนี้นะ [tâa - mueng - kít-tĕung - guu - àh • gôh - maa hăa - guu - bàep níi - ná] if - you - miss - me - [particle] • then - come visit - me - like this - [particle]

Style doesn't say anything. He just smiles at Fadel fondly and in love. Fadel didn't preemptively break up with him last episode and even though there is a barrier between them, Style can still go see Fadel and Fadel also wants Style to come see him. It's not ideal, but things could have been much worse, so Style is happy and also makes the best out of the situation. Just like he always does.

Fadel then asks about the garage and it's the first time we learn that Style's dad is starting to retire and that Style is starting to be busy. This will come up later in the episode again, but for now everyone is still happy. Then Fadel asks about his burger restaurant and both we, the audience, and Fadel learn that it's been sold. Fadel then says he'll find a way to buy it back once he's out of prison and once again we're handed information that will be relevant later in the episode.

Style being Style immediately announces that he'll be helping Fadel find a new place, if he can't get back the old one. And now it's Fadel's turn to smile at Style fondly and in love. Style then asks if Fadel wants anything special. But Fadel doesn't need anything. "Just seeing your face will last me a whole month." And again, the literal wording doesn't really change anything here, but if you're curious, this is what he's saying:

Just you visiting me like this makes me happy for a month. แค่มึงมาหากูแบบเนี่ย กูก็อิ่มใจเป็นเดือนละ [kâe - mueng - maa hăa - guu - bàep nîia • guu - gôh - ìm-jai - bpen deuuan - lá] just - you - come visit - me - like this • I - [sentence link] - happy, pleased - for a month - [particle]

Fadel uses the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] here (which I translated as "happy") and that's funny to me personally, because this word already came up when I was discussing a different sentence from episode 11 with my Thai friend. You know when Fadel and Style are in the kitchen in episode 11 and Fadel talks about how he wants to do what he loves with the person he loves? And then he says "It makes me happy". The word that was translated as "happy" in Thai is อิ่ม [ìm], which actually translates to "full". And I had my friend watch the scene and asked "What does he mean 'full', what does that mean in this context??" and my friend explained that in this context it means "happy" and mentioned the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai], which he also explained to mean "happy". The literal translation, though, is actually "full heart" (as in the heart is full → you're happy). And then this exact word that I learned comes up in episode 12, I love it. So yeah, Fadel is basically telling Style that he doesn't need anything, because Style visiting him in prison is enough to make is heart full/fill up his heart for a month. And from the way Fadel raises his eyebrows and smiles cheekily when he says the อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] part, I assume it's just as cheesy in Thai as it is in English, especially judging by Style's reaction afterwards.

Style is amused, impressed, as well as touched by Fadel's cheesiness and asks: "What did they feed you in there? How come you're this sweet?*"

*ทำไมถึงหวานขนาดเนี้ย [tam-mai tĕung - wăan - kà-nàat níia] how come, why - sweet - to this extent Official subs: You're way too sweet.

If you read last episode's meta you might remember how I went over the development to from โหด [hòht] (= harsh, aggressive, brutal) to หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) and I just love how this time around, the word โหด [hòht] doesn't even get mentioned anymore. They went from Style using only the word โหด [hòht] in episode 4 ("No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you." / Official subs: "It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked."), to them making comments about and discussing Fadel being both harsh (โหด [hòht]) and sweet (หวาน [wăan]) in episodes 7, 9, and 11, and now in the finale Style only uses the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet). It's the polar opposite of episode 4. I love it.

(By the way, I'm not gonna copy and paste all the direct quotes again, so if you wanna look at the lines and the development of "harsh vs sweet" in detail, please refer to section 7 of my ep11 meta.)

Style continues to say "If you say such sweet things, it'll only make me want to hold you and kiss you even more, you know?" and I'm just gonna share the literal wording again:

The sweeter like this you are ยิ่งมึงหวานแบบเนี่ย [yîng - mueng - wăan - bàep nîia] the more - you - sweet - like this the more I really want to embrace you and (sniff) kiss you on the cheek, you know that? กูยิ่งอยากกอดอยากหอมมึงมากเลยรู้ป่ะ [guu - yîng - yàak - gòht - yàak - hŏhm - mueng - mâak loiie - rúu - bpà] I - the more - want - hug, embrace - want - (sniff) kiss - you - very much - know - ?

In the official subtitles Style says just "kiss you", but the word he uses here in Thai is หอม [hŏhm] which, from what I've picked up so far, usually refers specifically to a kiss on the cheek, especially those sniff-kisses. And that's what prompts Fadel to turn his head and offer his cheek to Style — because Style specifically asked to kiss Fadel's cheek.

Also, something about the way Style says this and the way he emphasizes and drags out the word หอม [hŏhm] kind of really reminds me of the way he emphasized and dragged out the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) when he shouted "My meat is sweet, I tell you!" in episode 3, and watching these two lines back-to-back actually shows the development so beautifully:

In episode 3, Style is so very loud and he doesn't mean what he is saying at all, he isn't taking his words seriously whatsoever. His words are a performance and the world (or rather the market, in this case) is his audience. In episode 11, his words are still a performance, but now it's a private show for Fadel and Fadel alone. Fadel is the sole member of his audience and what Style is saying isn't meant for anyone else but Fadel. Style is serious about it now and he really means it. By the episode 12, Style is still loud in his personality, but compared to episode 3 his demeanor is so much calmer and he is also much more grounded.

The difference is also in Fadel's reaction: in episode 3 when Style isn't taking what he's saying and doing seriously whatsoever, Fadel doesn't have time for him. He rolls his eyes and just leaves him standing there. In episode 12, when Style means every single thing he says and does, Fadel actually leans closer and then presents his cheek to Style, going along with Style's antics instead of blocking or ditching him. Style blows a cheek at Fadel and we leave them as they continue to make heart-eyes at each other.

No. 2: This Is Torture

Style puts on his cheerful face when he's in front of Fadel, and while I don't think any of the above was a mask, because I think he is definitely genuinely happy to talk to Fadel, there is still some frustration that Style only lets out as soon as he's away from Fadel, similar to how he didn't fully cry until Fadel was completely gone at the end of last episode. "Kant, I can't do this," Style complains and let me just share the real vibe of his sentence:

Ai'Kant, I can't fucking do this anymore. ไอ้กานต์ กูแม่งไม่ไหวแล้วว่ะ [âi Kant • guu - mâeng - mâi - wăi - láew - wâ] Ai'Kant • I - [rude interjection] - not - able to, can - anymore - [rude particle]

I usually don't bother to point out sanitized subtitles, but here I thought it was appropriate, because first of all, Style using curse words and rude language really underlines just how frustrated he really is about this from his first line of the scene on and second of all, to me with the cursing it comes across as even more dramatic and I mean, the drama is what we've all come to love about Style, isn't it? Kant agrees and once again Style is much more dramatic in the original wording than he is in the official translation:

What's torturous is going in and being able to chat only for a few minutes. ที่มันทรมานอ่ะ คือเข้าไปคุยได้ไม่กี่นาทีไง [tîi - man - tor-rá-maan - àh • keu - kâo bpai - kui - dâai - mâi gìi -naa-tii - ngai] that - it - torture, be tortured - [particle] • is - enter, get in - talk, chat - be able to, can - not many - minute(s) - [particle] Official subs: The worst part is only getting a few minutes to talk to him.

Yeah. Style explicitly calls it torture that he can only see Fadel's face but can't touch him. He continues with the drama:

We're close, but so damn far away. ใกล้แต่ไกลฉิบหายเลยมึง [glâi - dtàe - glai - chìp-hăai - loiie - mueng] close - but - far - [impolite intensifier] - [particle for emphasis] - you Official subs: We’re so close but it feels so far.

Style is frustrated, almost downright angry even. Kant agrees again and when Style then asks "Is there no way we could hold them in our arms again?" There's a hint of desperation and impatience now mixed in with the frustration. Kant informs Style that there's a special visiting day, but it's only once a year. And here we have the biggest clue as to just how unhappy Style really is with the situation. Style, who usually stays optimistic and tries to find the bright side in things, is very dissatisfied about those news. Even positive Style can't see how the special visiting day is a good thing. Because once a year just really isn't enough, no matter how he looks at it. Kant throws him a glance. Style is sitting in the passenger's seat, head downcast, looking very dispirited and crestfallen.

Kant thinks some thoughts for a moment. Then he announces "I think I have an idea that will give us more than just a hug." Style lifts his head again. He's listening.

No. 3: Prison Break

For Kant's idea to work they need Captain Christ's help and they go meet him in a parking lot. They let Captain Christ know they wanna get into jail to see their boyfriends and Captain Christ actually asks the reasonable question of "Can't you just visit them?" No. They cannot. Because looking at them through a barrier is simply just not enough. Style starts listing all the things he wants to do to Fadel and he's clearly thought about this a lot. He gets lost in his own world a little the longer he goes on, clearly seeing everything he's describing in front of his mental eye, clearly seeing Fadel himself in front of his mental eye. And in a parallel to both episode 4 and episode 11, Style trails off at the end, leaving it up to the audience to imagine just what exact kind of things Style wants to do to/with Fadel (fanfiction, anyone?). Style pulls himself out of his fantasy and back into the real world, sighing and shaking his head in a way that reads to me like frustration about the fact that he can't be doing all of that. Kind of like Come on, man, get it together... The circumstances won't let you have your fantasies anyway. When the shot changes to Captain Christ, we can see that Style is even looking towards the ground. We can't see his face, but just from his dissatisfied expression just now we could interpret his hanging head as disappointment or sadness or both about not being able to do all the things he just talked about.

Captain Christ says that Style is crazy in love and from the way that Captain raises his eyebrows and the way the corners of his mouth twitch into a bit of a smirk when he's done speaking has me think Captain Christ was saying it to tease Style, but I think the teasing passes right by Style, because he makes a skeptical face, kind of like a bit of an annoyed and maybe slightly defensive What?? or maybe even a bit of an And what's wrong with that?

Captain Christ discards his cigarette and starts asking questions about just how exactly Kant and Style plan to get into prison, pointing out that he had just helped Kant wipe his slate clean. Kant explains that they aren't planning on getting themselves arrested and asks if Captain Christ knows anyone inside. Captain Christ says he does, then asks: "Don't tell me you want me to help you reenact Prison Break?"

Special shout-out to Style's reaction, because it's definitely in my top 5 moments of the episode, if not my absolute favorite highlight of the episode:

His face makes me laugh and giggle so much, it just really cracks me up. It's like he's thinking to himself Oh I sure wouldn't mind a little prison break... or maybe even Oh this is totally not the exact thing I've been fantasizing about. Let's be real, this would be Style's ideal scenario. But unlucky for Style, that's not the plan that Kant has had in mind.

No. 4: Vocational Training

Kant's idea was to go do some kind of volunteer work (or something along those lines) at the prison. Style, of course, teaches fixing cars, and it's interesting that Fadel actually shows up for that, because without knowing Style was gonna be the one teaching, Fadel could have easily chosen a different activity instead, since we never actually saw him be interested in fixing cars. Maybe Fadel heard about it and it made him think of Style and decided to go check it out in honor of him or to feel closer to him. Either way, Fadel actually shows up to Style's class and from the way Style's jaw drops a little bit I wonder, if this comes as a surprise to Style, since it's not like Style specifically told Fadel he was gonna come in.

Pronoun change! You might have noticed yourself, but the very first thing Style says to Fadel is khun. Style is pretending not to know Fadel. Style continues to speak using no pronouns at all and when Fadel answers, he goes along with Style's pronoun change, using phom to refer to himself. The two of them continue to use the polite phom/khun for the rest of this specific conversation.

Fadel says he doesn't know anything about fixing cars and Style replies it's fine, because Fadel can learn about it. Then he says "If you want to, that is." The expression that Style uses here in Thai is มีใจ [mii jai] which is made up of มี [mii] = "to have" and ใจ [jai] = "heart, mind", so literally it translates to "have (a/the) heart". My friend explained that in this context this phrase means "to have the intention to do something". The funny thing is, though, that I asked my friend about this specific phrase a couple of episodes ago, because Style actually uses it when they're standing by the broken down car in episode 8 when he teases Fadel "Either a hitman like you still have his humanity, or you’re in love with me." In other words, the phrase มีใจ [mii jai] can also mean "to be in love" and now I'm wondering if this specific word choice with this double meaning was very intentional for this episode 12 scene. Especially because Fadel then huffs and smiles a little.

Style walks up to Fadel and tells him "I'll show you every nook and cranny of a car. You'll definitely find some use for what you learn from me. But if you still can't fix cars after that, I'll fix them for you," still using polite pronouns and particles to address Fadel, and somehow this whole thing just really reminds me of their little roleplay at the garage back in episode 5. The way Fadel's eyebrows shoot up and he huffs in amusement really raises the question if Fadel is wondering what kind of payment Style will take for fixing Fadel's car. At the same time, Style offering to fix Fadel's car also works as a callback to the circumstances in which they first met: Style has fixed Fadel's car once before, maybe even twice, if we assume that Style fixed the jeep again between episode 8 and episode 9 when it broke down.

No. 5: A Man Has Wants, A Man Has Needs

At the end of class, Fadel is working on the car and Style uses the chance with everyone else distracted for a little private chat with Fadel. And now that they don't have an audience listening in and appearances to keep up, they're both back to the rude pronouns guu/mueng. Fadel likely sort of already expected that Style would find a way to get to him, because he says he had thought Style would do something illegal to get inside the prison and I think the majority of the fandom thought similarly. I personally realized Kant and Style would be working in prison when I went to rewatch the episode promo like two or so days before the episode and realized that the blue clothes that Fadel was wearing in the shots where Style kissed him on the cheek and threw him against the wall looked like the prison uniform while Style was in normal clothes. At first I thought the shot of the cheek kiss by the car was when Fadel was out of prison again and that it was set in Style's garage, but once it hit me that they were clearly fixing a car while Fadel was in a prison uniform while Style wasn't, that's when I realized that Style was likely there as a volunteer worker (or something along those lines) rather than a prisoner. Unfortunately, I was too busy trying to get my ep11 meta done, so I didn't make a post about my discovery which means I don't have receipts and this brag is completely worthless. Ah, well. At least my ep11 meta is done.

Style says "This is way better" and steps closer to Fadel, reaching out his arm right into Fadel's personal space, seeking proximity before he even says it out loud or touches Fadel at all. Fadel responds to it by immediately moving his own arm closer to Style's hand and while I know that Joong most likely did this as part of their "choreography" so that Dunk would have an easier time grabbing his arm for when Style talks about touching Fadel, the thing is if we're looking at it from the character's perspective, well, Joong might have known Dunk was gonna grab his arm, but Fadel didn't know Style was gonna grab him and so I love this small interaction anyway. Style reaches into Fadel's personal space with his hand and Fadel immediately moves his own hand closer to Style.

And it's only then that Style says: "I get to be close to you and to touch you just like I wanted to." Then Style sneaks a kiss on Fadel's cheek, just like he said he wanted to do in his first scene of the episode. Fadel gets as stressed about it just like I did when I watched the episode for the first time. I mean come on, Style, there are still people around!! I swear to god, the amount of times I've had to remind myself during the prison part that this was a romcom and that this was the final episode of the show and that nothing too bad was gonna happen now...

Fadel scolds Style, but Style doesn't care. He points out: "Why would I come here if I don't get to do anything with you at all?" The whole point of finding a way to get inside the prison was to be able to touch Fadel, to kiss him, to hold him, just like Style was so very desperately wishing he could do in the very beginning of the episode. And he's not gonna pass up that chance, especially when it's been a while since he actually got to feel Fadel's skin.

Fadel sees the guard walk around and tells Style "I can't help you." Then Fadel continues to be grumpy, scolding Style "You said you'd be patient, and you're already losing it?" Style is so used to Fadel's grumpy personality by now that he isn't fazed in the slightest. He comments it with a very quick huff to the side, then goes "A guy has wants and needs, you know?" He smiles a little when the words are out of his mouth and observes Fadel's reaction, eyes fixed on him attentively. Fadel lifts his head, looking a little done, but ends up breaking anyway after staring at Style for a moment. Fadel laughs and turns his head away to hide it, then looks at Style one more time, before directing his attention back to the car. Style watches him with a fond smile and affectionately shakes his head as if to say That's so you of you to first be grumpy, only to fall for my charm in the end anyway, you silly goose. As if I don't know you by now, my love.

After that, Style goes back into teacher mode in order to officially end the class. And I just love how the wide-shot reveals that now both Style and Fadel have their hands in each other's personal space close to the other person's body, their arms criss-crossed. And I also love how Style leans right into Fadel, touching him more when he goes to address the whole class.

Good job at pretending not to know each other, boys. Really. Very inconspicuous.

Fadel does move away from Style a little a moment later while Style continues his "see you next week" speech. But we can still see just how much Style missed touching Fadel, because he seeks out proximity again by tapping Fadel, casually touching him again immediately after he is done ending the class.

Then his eyes also find Fadel's face again, who looks at him very amused. And now that class is over, Style can finally do what he's really here for.

No. 6: Loyal to You

When we cut back to them, they've found a hidden corner and Style is shoving Fadel against a wall, kissing him with great urgency. Once they break apart, Style tells Fadel "I've been dying to do that since the moment I saw you", smiling a very satisfied smile. Fun fact, this time around Style is actually less dramatic in the original wording:

I've been wanting to do this since I saw your face. กูอยากทำแบบนี้ตั้งแต่เห็นหน้ามึงอ่ะ [guu - yàak - tam - bàep níi - dtâng-dtàe - hĕn - nâa mueng - àh] I - want - do - like this - since - see - your face - [particle]

Fadel laughs and says "You're crazy", to which Style replies "Love will make people do crazy things" and let me just share the original wording for a second:

Love makes us do something crazy like this. ความรักอ่ะ ทำให้คนเราทำอะไรบ้าๆ แบบนี้แหละ [kwaam rák - àh • tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - bâa bâa - bàep níi - làe] love - [particle] • make that, cause - people, we - do - something - crazy - like this - [particle] Official subs: Love will make people do crazy things.

The reason why I'm sharing this isn't, because the translation is inaccurate in any way, but rather because this line reminded me of another line Style says in episode 7 and I just want to point out the similarity in the original wording that isn't as clean in the official translation:

Love makes us do something stupid. ความรักมันทำให้คนเราทำอะไรโง่ๆนะ [kwaam rák - man - tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - ngôh ngôh - ná] love - it - make that, cause - people, we - do - something - stupid - [particle] Official subs: Love sure makes you do something stupid.

It greatly amuses me that Style went from "Love makes us do stupid things" to "Love makes us do crazy things". Style, lover of love, willing to do stupid and crazy things for the sake of love. He is stupid and crazy enough to even find a way to get into prison for the sole purpose of making out with his boyfriend, because who can wait five whole years, amirite? Style immediately proves his point by continuing to kiss Fadel. But Fadel doesn't let Style kiss him for long, because he has something to say: "Save your sweet words." Funfact, he uses the word นำเน่า [nam nâo] here, which my friend explained to mean "soapy" (as in soap opera like). I think Fadel just called Style "dramatic" without actually calling him dramatic, and I think that might also be the reason why Style steps back with a sigh, looking kind of disappointed and annoyed, before answering Fadel's question of "How did you get in here?"

We know being called dramatic has been a touchy subject for Style before and so has been being pushed away. I think Style had a moment of Does he really not appreciate that I'm here now? Does he not appreciate my efforts? But Style doesn't comment on it, doesn't start an argument, and instead answers Fadel's question. He explains that he'll be teaching at prison every week now thanks to Kant's connections and then says:

I'll get to come and see you every week. จะได้มาเจอมึงทุกอาทิตย์เลย [jà - dâai - maa - jer - mueng - túk - ah-tít - loiie] will - get to - come - see, meet - you - every - week - [particle] Official subs: So I'll see you every week.

Although when Style says this, it's not as joyful as you might expect. There is determination in Style's voice, because he is determined to do this, but there is also a bit of a challenging edge to it and I think it comes from his sudden worry that Fadel might not want him here after all. It's a challenge in the sense of Well, are you happy about me being here once a week from now on or not? He keeps his eyes fixed on Fadel and when Fadel then huffs and smiles almost in disbelief, the look on Style's face softens a little bit before he leans in to kiss Fadel again.

But once more, Fadel isn't letting Style kiss him for long, before he speaks again: "You know… You don’t have to do this." Style goes still as he waits for Fadel to elaborate. And Fadel does:

It's fine if you visit me once a month or once every three months. มาหากูเดือนละครั้งหรือสามเดือนครั้งก็ได้ [maa hăa - guu - deuuan lá kráng - rĕu - săam deuuan kráng - gôh dâai] (come) visit - me - once a month - or - once every three months - it's fine Official subs: I don't mind seeing you once a month or once every three months.

Ah. There it is. Fadel is pushing him away again. Or so Style thinks. Of course Fadel is saying this to be considerate of Style's time and schedule (after all, Style did tell him that things at the garage were getting busy), not wanting Style to get tired and exhausted in the process, but what Style hears is I don't want to see you that often. And now Style is seriously done.

He steps back, tilting his face in a Really, now?? way, presses his lips together unhappily, then raises his eyebrows and firmly tells Fadel: "I did everything I could to be with you, you know?" Style's next question is another challenge to Fadel:

Are you not moved? ไม่ซึ้งบ้างหรอ [mâi - séung - bâang - rŏr] not - touched, moved - any - ? Official subs: You don’t appreciate that?

Fadel breathes out loudly and tilts his head like Oh, come on, it's not like that. But Style is really annoyed now and continues to say: "Or did you already find someone here? I'd expect it of a popular guy like you." You heard him use the anglicism "hot" here, right? Because the second sentence goes more like:

You're hot anyway. ฮอตอยู่แล้วนี่มึงอ่ะ [hot - yùu - láew - nîi - mueng - àh] hot - be - already - [interjection] - you - [particle]

A little extra info from my Thai friend: according to him in Thai this word doesn't necessarily refer to someone's appearance and to physical attraction, but rather it is used to express someone has a quality or skill that is desirable.

Now I think Style actually being jealous for real can be a valid interpretation of him asking Fadel if he found someone new in prison, but to be honest, personally I don't really think so, or rather I think real jealousy is the case only on a surface level. Because Style knows Fadel, Style knows that Fadel doesn't easily open up to others. Style knows first hand how much work, effort, and persistence it takes to get to Fadel's heart. Style also knows Fadel would absolutely kill him if Style ever cheated on him and so I don't think Style would expect Fadel to be a hypocrite and go cheat on Style just like that himself. So I don't think Style actually expects Fadel to have found himself a new boyfriend in prison for real. No, in my opinion this is about something else deep down. I think Style is actually hurt that Fadel is (seemingly) pushing him away again, the way Fadel has done before so often. And Style has felt hurt from that before, and he's argued with Fadel about that before (most recently last episode during their last supper, and in episode 10 the scene where Style demands to help with the mission as well as the scene where Fadel cries in Style's lap). And I think playing it over apparent jealousy is Style's way of letting Fadel know that he's sulking about this, without starting a full-blown argument. Because at this point Fadel should know better than to keep pushing Style away, especially when Style is putting in so much effort in their relationship again. And part of me also wonders if Style was trying to avoid being called "dramatic" again (remember: touchy subject) if he had outright complained about being pushed away, while jealousy could maybe be taken as a "more valid" or more expected or acceptable reason to be mad.

Style starts to walk off, upset, because fine, if Fadel doesn't want him here then he'll leave him alone. But Fadel catches his arm. Style is sulking and it's Fadel's job now to make up with him. And Fadel does: "No matter where I am, you're the only one for me." Fadel holds him back, pulls him back in, doesn't simply just let Style go. And then promises his loyalty to Style. Something that Style has promised to Fadel many, many times. Fadel's efforts to get Style to stay placate Style again. This is all Style wants: for Fadel to show that he, too, wishes for Style to be in his life and be willing to work for it, the same way Style constantly shows he wishes for Fadel to be and actively works on Fadel being by his side. Style's face softens again, he smiles a little and lets Fadel kiss him.

They go back to making out against the wall. Well. That is, until the prison guard walks in on them. They quickly jump apart and Style rambles some orders about cleaning up, before walking off. And I love that Style can't help but touch Fadel one last time, before he leaves. He really has gone too long without touching Fadel and has to make up for it now.

Language fun fact: Technically, a pronoun switch from guu/mueng to phom/khun isn't actually happening here, because Style actually uses no pronouns at all when he talks to Fadel in front of the guard! Fadel does drop one polite "krub", but that's about it. There are no pronouns this time, but I think it's safe to assume they would have switched to phom/khun again in front of the guard, if the conversation had gone on.

Side Quest: Year 2 or Literal Horny Jail

Alright, sooo, there isn't that much interesting happening in year 2, or rather not interesting enough that I really wanna get into detail and turn this into its own section, but of course I couldn't leave it entirely unaddressed. So a side quest, it is. The brothers' second year in prison turns out to be a happy one, with both couples really obsessed with each other as if they'd only just started dating, sneaking kisses and make-out sessions whenever they can. Somehow, they're never found out. Everyone is happy and pleased, and this is especially significant for Fadel and Style. They're happy and in love and still very much into each other. We don't actually get any scenes of Fadel and Style together during year 3, but I think it's safe to assume that things are going this well throughout the third year, too. Well, until things aren't. Until suddenly we get dropped down to the ground from the high that we had just been taken up to.

No. 7: Busy Bee

Year 4 comes around and with that all the happiness gets thrown right out the window. Because Style, without a warning, suddenly doesn't show up to class one day and instead waits for Fadel in the visiting room. When Fadel walks in, Style addresses him happily, but his happiness is not as bright as we know it can be, it's a bit subdued. Style asks why Fadel took so long and I think it explains why Style doesn't sound as cheerful as usual: I think while Style was waiting, for a moment he got really worried that Fadel wouldn't come to see him.

By the way, yes, Style did phrase it as a question in the original wording:

Why were you so slow? ทำไมช้าจังเลย [tam-mai - cháa - jang loiie] why - slow, late - so much, very much Official subs: Took you forever.

Fadel explains he went to the garage first, but Style wasn't there. Style apologizes for it, then explains he's been very busy. Style had already mentioned at the beginning of the episode that he was busier compared to before, and now he's even more busy than that. So busy that he might not be able to come in and teach as often anymore. He tells Fadel just that and looks at him with sad, apologetic puppy eyes.

Fadel asks why that is and when Style answers, he puts on a very enthusiastic voice in an attempt to make the situation sound as positive as possible. Style explains that he's in charge of the garage now that his dad is retired and updates Fadel on how he's thinking of expanding the business and how he has a lot of projects going on that allowed him to meet more people in the industry. Style's little mechanic world is getting bigger for him, isn't that exciting? Style just wants to share the joy of his good news with Fadel.

Fadel nods a bit unenthusiastically and says "That's good. It's alright. I understand" and I think Style can tell that in reality Fadel is upset just as much as the audience can, even if it might not immediately seem like he can tell:

Style continues to smile, but it's like he's putting down the enthusiasm that he's just put on, and he looks at Fadel. Style is always looking at Fadel. And Style has become an expert at reading Fadel. There is no way Fadel's disappointment passed right by Style, even if his expression stays positive and affectionate and full of love. Style doesn't say anything and I think he's actually waiting to see if Fadel will fall back into his old patterns and usual downward spirals again. And I think Style keeps his expression joyful and warm in order to give Fadel as little reason to think that Style doesn't care about him anymore. But the trauma sits deep within Fadel, leading him to say: "You don't have to come here to teach, you know?"

This is the exact reaction that Style was expecting of Fadel and we can tell, because Style is immediately ready to calm Fadel's anxiety without missing a beat: "Don't worry. I'll make time for it." It's really not that big of a deal. And in case it is a big deal, Style has already thought of a solution, a compromise: "But if I can't, I'll just come visit you instead." Because let's be real, Style would miss Fadel just as much and wouldn't want to miss out on seeing Fadel's face. "Is that okay?" he asks. Do we have a deal? Fadel stares at Style for a second, then nods awkwardly, but looks very unconvinced and doesn't say anything. Style raises his eyebrows a little, then leans back, keeping his eyes fixed on Fadel.

As I said above, I think Style could already tell Fadel was upset a few lines earlier, but I think this is the moment where he realizes that Fadel is more upset than Style had initially thought and that Fadel isn't gonna be easy to cheer up about this. It really does seem to be a big deal to Fadel. So much so, that Style now chooses to address it after all: "What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" And I adore how Style continues to interact with Fadel in such a loving, kind way and continues to smile at him warmly.

Style isn't attacking Fadel when he asks Fadel if he's mad, instead he's reaching out to him kindly and in a way that makes it very clear that Style is asking out of concern for Fadel's well-being and not because he's trying to start an argument. In fact, Style is very much trying to not start an argument right now. Fadel says he isn't mad at Style. "I understand you have to live your life. I'm in here so there's nothing I can do but wait." And that's when Style's smile finally falls completely.

I think part of him is concerned for Fadel and his mental state, and part of him is also worried where this might be going. I think the underlying question here is Are you... about to preemptively push me away again because you're falling into a downward spiral again?

Fadel continues. "Style, I think..." Style's face is very serious now as he listens to Fadel to find out where this is headed. Fadel says "Our timing just wasn't right at all" or word for word:

We met at the wrong place at the wrong time. เราเจอกันผิดที่ผิดเวลาไปหน่อยว่ะ [rao - jer gan - pìt - tîi - pìt - weh-lah - bpai nòi - wâ] we - meet each other - wrong - place - wrong - time - too little - [particle]

Style is quiet for a moment and I think now there is also a hint of fear added to the seriousness in his expression as well as confusion.

I think Style does very much understand that Fadel really is in the process of pushing him away again, but I think he's confused about what exactly Fadel means by "wrong place, wrong time". Style needs to know what exactly Fadel is getting at in order to properly fight against Fadel's downward spiral and so he asks. Fadel explains and Style listens intently. "I think you should focus on your future." Style is wasting many hours just to come to see Fadel at the prison since it's so far away. Style doesn't earn any money working at the prison. Style is better off getting paid fixing some expensive cars. "You shouldn't waste your time on me." Fadel is once again simply just presuming Style's perspective on things without actually asking Style about it. But at least Style now has a lead, something specific he can counter. And Style does, and just like before he talks to Fadel in a very kind, warm way: "It's not a waste of time. You're my boyfriend. I will always make time for you. Work is important, but you're also important to me." Style is also back to a warm, happy face now, the seriousness from a moment ago hidden completely.

He then also speaks a little reminder to Fadel that Fadel's behavior right now isn't entirely fair to Style either: "Before you went to jail, you told me to focus on my own life. Now that I'm doing exactly that, you are sulking?" And again, this isn't supposed to be an attack. When Style says this, he is more serious than he was mere seconds before, but Style's voice is still rather soft, and while his words come with a certain urgency, there are no sharp edges to his tone. Style stays patient with Fadel, clearly trying to talk this issue out without getting into a full-blown argument.

By the way, the word that Style uses here that was translated as "sulk" is งอน [ngon]. Avid watchers of Thai dramas might have come across this word before (especially those who also follow actors outside their series). The dictionary thai2english translates it as "sulk" and "pout", and I knew it meant something like this, but I still went ahead and asked my Thai friend about it, in case he had something interesting to say about it. And he did, and I'd just like to share it here, because I think some of you will love to read about it, too. According to my friend งอน [ngon] is when you are "upset and disappointed, because the other person should know better, but it's not significant enough to be properly angry". My friend also said that it's a whole thing: for example when you are งอน [ngon] you can't actually admit to it, and it's the other person's job to come to you and make up with you (this step is called ง้อ [ngóh]).

So Style asks if Fadel is งอน [ngon] (and I hit pause after Style's sentence to have my friend explain this word, before continuing the scene) and Fadel says that no, he is not งอน [ngon] (after which my friend exclaimed: "See!! Exactly!! He's denying it!! Like I said!!"), then tells Style "Just do what you want. Don't take me into account." Fadel gets up to walk away and Style calls out for him to wait. But Fadel is done with the conversation. "I have work in the kitchen. Don’t want these prisoners to starve." With these words, Fadel leaves Style sitting there, alone, looking unhappy.

No. 8: Be Patient, My Son

Next, we find ourselves in Style's garage and we are shown that Style is indeed working hard, earning money. Even his dad comments on it: "You always only fixed a few cars a month. What's going on?" Style's dad then asks if Style is in need of money and Style says he just wants to save it. And that's when we, the audience, slowly start to realize that Style is likely trying to buy back the restaurant. But Style's dad doesn't know this, so he starts asking whether Style is intending to buy a new car, and when Style says no, he's not, his dad makes a guess for a "love nest" (เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh]). I didn't ask my friend about the term เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh], but according to thai2english and sanook.com it refers to a home for newlyweds which, uh, is quite different from "a place (such as an apartment) used for amorous and often illicit rendezvous", which Merriam-Webster defines love nest as. Style's dad asks if Style is getting married, and that's the fifth reference to a FadelStyle marriage. Here's a recap, in case you forgot:

Ep6: "wear make-up with me" vs. "will you marry me" (explanation here)

Ep7: proposal prank

Ep8: Fadel and Style taking part in an actual wedding

Ep11: Style's dad outright telling Fadel and Style to get married

Ep.12: Style's dad asking his son about marriage again

I can't believe this show did not end with them actually getting married, or at the very least engaged. It's gotta be my biggest beef with the show, not gonna lie.

Anyway, so Style informs his dad that he is not, in fact, getting married and goes on to tease his dad, asking if his dad doesn't like seeing his son working hard. The comment makes his dad laugh, although he's already got another question on his mind: "Where's Fadel been, though?" I do think it's kinda funny how this question comes up only after more than three years. Did Style's dad really never wonder about it? Or has Style always casually mentioned Fadel over the years and his dad just assumed that Fadel only happened to come over when Style's dad happened not to be there for it? Why did it take more than three years for this question to come up?

Either way, Style quickly comes up with the excuse that Fadel is in culinary school abroad. And from the way Style says it, it seems like Style is making up this excuse on the spot, which again has me wonder... what exactly has Style been telling his dad the past 3+ years?

Style says that Fadel will be back, which is the truth this time, and Style's dad is happy to hear that, because he's actually rooting for Fadel. We love to hear it. Then Style's dad tells him "You need a lot of trust when it comes to long distance relationships. Be patient, son" and I'm so glad we got this very scene, following the last one. I think this is something Style kinda needed to hear at this point. Because Fadel had just walked out on him, clearly upset, and now Style's relationship is in trouble. And I adore that Style gets told some comforting words, even if his dad actually has no idea what's really going on. "You need trust," his dad tells him, "be patient." And Style thinks about it.

These words hit Style, they mean something to Style. He goes very quiet while his dad continues talking. "You'll be back together soon." Style's dad puts a comforting hand on Style's shoulder and Style's reaction is one I find very difficult to describe and put into words (see gif below). It's like, on the one hand his own optimistic and hopeful nature agrees with his dad, but at the same time he also doesn't quite believe his dad, as if he's thinking Well, whether we'll be back together or not depends entirely on how stubborn Fadel is and if he stops being mad at me. I think part of Style lowkey fears that Fadel might not be willing to make up with him again. Style looks at his dad who then gives him an encouraging nod and Style returns a small smile and a little nod himself.

Style's dad walks away and Style's smile slowly falls as he gets lost in thought and looks down at the money in his hands.

Style is most definitely thinking about the state of his relationship with Fadel and his dad's encouraging words right now. And we, the audience, are now all going Oh, he is SO buying back the restaurant for Fadel!! Honestly, it's my own personal headcanon that Style started working out a plan to buy it the moment he got back from that very first visit where Fadel was like "I'm gonna buy back the restaurant."

No. 9: Making Up

We don't know how long it's been since Fadel and Style talked last, but I assume it's been a while, since last time we checked Style said he might not be able to come as often and now we learn from Bison that Style is at the prison twice a week these days. Personally I assume it's been at least a month if not more. I feel like 3 weeks should be a long enough time for "twice a week" to have become an established pattern that Bison can point out, plus at least one or the other week for Style to work on his projects before that. There's also the chance that it's been even longer than that. Either way, it's been quite a while for sure. After all this time, Fadel is still งอน [ngon] at Style and as my friend explained to me, it's Style's responsibility to make up with him. And so Style does. Surely also boosted by his dad's encouraging words, Style takes the first step towards Fadel by having Bison deliver a small origami bouquet. We know for a fact that Style was not the one who made the bouquet, because Bison does explicitly say the bouquet came "from someone who takes origami training" and I don't think it was a lie, because I think Style would most certainly have bragged about his origami skills if he'd made it himself. However, I do think the little Heart Burger flag is something that Style did make himself. And it's the first hint of confirmation that we get that Style is indeed trying to buy back the restaurant. Fadel doesn't make the connection, though. The little gift still touches him enough to finally seek out Style again instead of actively avoiding him.

Style is wiping the board when Fadel finds him. We don't know if Style is about to start a class and is wiping the board in preparation so that he would have space to write on once the prisoners come in or if he just ended a class and now he's doing some clean-up for next time. My personal headcanon is that we're seeing Style after class actually. It's been established that the prisoners help putting stuff back once class is over and with the way Style is completely by himself when the scene starts it's my headcanon that Style is being slow and hanging back on purpose, because he is desperately hoping Fadel would come to see him, even if Style isn't really expecting it. And the reason why I believe Style thinks Fadel won't show up despite the gift is because Style isn't cheerful the way he usually is when he's purposefully staying optimistic (like he was for example when he's talking to Kant about the cat in front of the abandoned diner in episode 6, or in episode 7 when there is clearly something off about the assassin brothers and Kant points it out and Style insists that Kant is overthinking it or in episode 9 when he makes wishes for his dead body and so on). No, Style looks very serious when the camera first cuts to his face.

He does smile a little once it's fully sunk in that Fadel is really here, standing in front of him, and only then does he put on a bit of a cheerful, teasing voice when he tells Fadel: "Thought you'd never see me again." Didn't I say Style was a little afraid that Fadel might not be willing to make up again? Fadel bluntly asks what Style is here for and Style drops the positive voice. Instead, now his voice sounds more concerned and regretful when he asks "What are you mad (งอน [ngon]) at me about?" As per the etiquette that my friend explained, Fadel immediately denies that he's mad (งอน [ngon]). But then he finally does tell Style what the problem is: "I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." (Btw, Fadel did indeed say this pretty much word for word when he was crying on those steps in episode 10.) Style then says "But I didn't do anything to disappoint you."

I actually had a question about this line to my friend as well: for the English translation the sentence was phrased in past tense and to me that sounds like Style is talking about something specific maybe back around that time when he failed to show up to teach, an incident clearly set in the past. The thing is, though, that Thai doesn't actually have verb tenses. There are words you can add to a sentence that will clarify whether a statement is about the past or the future, but the verb itself doesn't change and sometimes things can get a little muddy. This is one such case. And I was confused, because especially in retrospective where we know Style is actually in the middle of trying to get back the restaurant (he also states later in the scene that he is in the middle of doing something that he isn't sure is gonna work yet, meaning the restaurant has not yet been acquired at this point) I thought Style's statement could maybe also be taken as What I'm doing and working on right now isn't something that is wronging you. Since Style trying to buy back the restaurant is an on-going project that is happening off-screen at the very same time, it's not a one time thing that happened back when Fadel first got mad at Style. No, it's still happening at this very moment. I discussed this with my friend who thought about it for a moment and then decided that the present perfect tense would probably be the best solution here, since it implies that it's about something that started in the past and is still on-going (or still has an effect) in the present.

So Fadel says he doesn't want to be disappointed and Style tells him "But I haven't done anything to disappoint you." Because what Style has been doing will be the opposite of a disappointment for Fadel. If it works out, that is. Because if it doesn't, if Style fails then it will be a huge disappointment to Fadel. And so Style doesn't want to tell Fadel about it just yet, precisely because he knows Fadel doesn't like disappointments. But Fadel is missing all that context, and so to him the situation reads very differently. And he's hurt. And now he finally opens up to Style about it: "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?" Style doesn't reply, he just keeps looking at Fadel with a serious face.

I think he feels bad that Fadel feels like this, but I think he truly doesn't dare to reveal what he's doing. Style knows just how important the burger restaurant was/is for Fadel and how much he loved the place and I think Style assumes it will be an even bigger disappointment and blow to Fadel if Style outright tells him and then fails to deliver. And it's a disappointment that Style really doesn't want to see, because I think it would crush Style himself. I think Style would actually beat himself up about that. And so he keeps his plans to himself, because he's afraid of failure. This specific failure is one he really can't afford. Style stays silent and doesn't answer Fadel's question. Fadel continues to rage: "If you can't do it, don't promise me anything. Do you know how easy it is to overthink when I'm here?" Style still isn't saying anything. Fadel is done. "If you have something important to do, just focus on it. I don't want to slow you down."

Fadel turns to walk off angrily. Style moves at the speed of lightning to hold Fadel back. Fadel finally talked to him and Style is not gonna let him go that easily. They still have something to clear up. Fadel stops and turns back to look at Style again. Before Style even says anything, he pulls away his vest to reveal the heart burger pin that Fadel gave to him. The pin that is very important to Fadel, the pin Fadel is very protective of. In a way, the pin is Fadel's heart which he gave to Style only last episode. And it's right there. Fadel's heart. On Style's heart. In Style's heart. "You're the most important thing to me," is the first thing out of Style's mouth. Style is extremely serious right now. All of Style's decisions, all of Style's actions revolve around Fadel. And he really doesn't want to lose him. And even if he's afraid of failure and disappointing Fadel if he can't pull through with his plan, losing Fadel is worse, and so Style finally opens up at least a little bit: "I'm doing something for both of our futures." Again, Style is extremely serious. He isn't hiding behind a positive attitude, his words aren't performative in the slightest. This is extremely serious and extremely important. I think Fadel does believe him, but wants to confirm that it's true and also doesn't want to be kept in the dark. "What are you doing?" he asks, then throws Style a challenge, almost an attack: "Can you tell me?" You know your behavior is hurting me, will you keep it up for the sake of whatever it is you're apparently doing?

At this point everyone in the audience is screaming HE'S BUYING BACK THE RESTAURANT FOR YOU, YOU DIMWIT!!!!! at Fadel. But Fadel still isn't making the connection, despite the hint with the Heart Burger flag and the Heart Burger pin and Style dropping he's working on their shared future. Can you tell me? But Style can't. He doesn't quite dare. "Can you wait a little longer? I want to be certain about it first. I want to make sure I really can do it." This is a plea. Style is pleading with Fadel. I told you as much as I could and I really am trying my best. For us. Will you please give me the benefit of the doubt and be considerate of my feelings in this situation, too? As I said, I think Fadel did believe Style earlier already, but I think now Fadel really understands that what Style is doing is very important to Style, but that it comes with certain insecurities that Style isn't ready to open up about. Style never pressured Fadel to open up about anything he wasn't ready to open up about and Fadel isn't about to pressure Style either. Style is loud and clear on the fact that he has Fadel in mind and that Fadel is important to him. Fadel doesn't immediately answer and instead contemplates on the situation and Style's plea while Style keeps his eyes fixed on him. Fadel's reaction, Fadel's response really matters to Style right now. Their relationship depends on it. And then Fadel finally yields. Because Style and their relationship is just as important to Fadel. Even if the situation isn't ideal. "You really love surprising me, don’t you?" Fadel finally says. And let me just share the original wording, even if it doesn't make much of a difference:

You always like to surprise me. มึงนี่ชอบเซอร์ไพรส์กูตลอดเลยนะ [mueng - nîi - chôp - sêr-prai - guu - dtà-lòt - loiie - ná] you - [interjection] - like - surprise - me - always - [particle] - [particle]

(Alt. translation: You're always surprising me.)

I like that in Thai Fadel says Style always surprises him, because to me it highlights how for the past 12 episodes we really have watched Style surprise Fadel all the time. Over and over again. In many different ways. God, I love them, I love their story so much. Anyway. Back to the scene. Fadel says this and Style understands that Fadel is no longer outright pushing him away or blocking him anymore. Style replies:

Then come learn how to fix cars with me again. งั้นมาเรียนซ่อมรถกับกูใหม่นะ [ngán - maa - riian - sôm - rót - gàp - guu - mài - ná] then - come - learn - fix, repair - car(s) - with - me - again - [na] Official subs: Come back to class.

The phrasing of the official subs sounded a bit too much like a direct order in their written form, especially without the context of Style's friendly tone, which is why I wanted to share a softer phrasing for the purpose of this meta. Because Style's words aren't an order. They're an invitation. If you've forgiven me, come see me again regularly. They're a peace offering. Fadel stays grumpy and grumbles: "I've been taking the course for years, and I still don't know how to fix anything." It's a stab at Style, but not an aggressive one. And it doesn't have anything to do with their original conflict. Fadel is leaving that conflict behind. Fadel has forgiven Style, even if he doesn't outright say it. Style finally laughs (or rather snorts) for the first time this entire scene and for a moment it looks like he's about to cry from relief that Fadel is no longer angry and that their relationship is saved:

Fadel continues with his grumbly teasing: "All you do is yap." The relationship really is back on. Style teases Fadel right back: "But that's exactly what you love about me, isn't it?" This isn't just Style going along with Fadel's teasing, it's also Style telling Fadel No matter how grumpy you pretend you are, no matter how much you were ignoring me, I know you never stopped loving me, I know you still love me now.

And finally, Fadel breaks. He laughs for a moment. Because he can't deny Style's call-out. Both, that he still loves Style and that he likes that Style is a chatty cat. Fadel pulls up the Heart Burger flag from the origami bouquet. Style laughs in surprise. Why? I don't know. You decide. Maybe he thought Fadel had stomped on it in dramatic anger. Or maybe he's thinking Oh wow, did the bouquet and the flag actually work? Is that what finally made him come see me again? Fadel is still holding up the flag and says that it's cute. And again you can really see the relief in Style's eyes, alongside his joy that things are looking better now with Fadel.

Style asks Fadel to clean the board and Fadel grumbles about it, but does it anyway. Because when does Fadel not give in to Style.

No. 10: Show, Don't Tell

We reach year 5 and finally the brothers are released. We check in with our foursome on the day the brothers get to go home. Bison walks through the door first, runs up to Kant and hugs him. In the meantime, Style is sat on the hood of the car. Fadel doesn't immediately walk up to him, but instead stops behind/next to Kant and Bison who discuss just how much they missed each other. Style doesn't pass up the opportunity to tease Fadel (and I think Style, too, wants a proper greeting, thank you very much):

Hey. This couple said they missed each other. เฮ้ย คู่นี้เขาบอกคิดถึงกันด้วยนะ [hóiie • kûu níi - kăo - bòhk - kít-tĕung - gan - dûuay - ná] hey • this couple - tell - miss - each other - too - [particle] Official subs: Hear that? He said he missed him and all that. So how about you, did you miss me? แล้วมึงอ่ะ คิดถึงกูป่ะ [láew - mueng - àh • kít-tĕung - guu - bpà] and - you - [particle] • miss - me - ? Official subs: Did you miss me at all?

(Sharing this mostly because I feel like it and I know a lot of you love the language bits, not because the literal wording makes any difference in this case lol)

Fadel announces "I'm not saying it", but the reality of the matter is that Style's wish is Fadel's command. And so Fadel walks up to Style and plants a kiss on his lips. "I'm showing it."

But before they break apart, Style pats Fadel like easy tiger, we have company. I do think this is about Kant and Bison's live slug reaction and not because Style doesn't want to be kissing Fadel right now. I think Style is trying to be considerate of the other two. After the kiss, Style gets up, hugs Fadel and over his shoulder nods at Kant and Bison and boastfully points at Fadel like Did you guys see that?? That's my man!! It's the exact same energy as he had at the end of episode 9 when he was raising his eyebrows at Kant and Bison in the boat. It's the You guys don't have a Fadew like me energy. (I'm out of images for this post, but here's a parallel gifset.) I love just how proud Style always is of Fadel, and how happily he'll show him off.

While Fadel and Style are busy hugging, Kant and Bison discuss where they should go to now. Style jumps in to ask "Hey, can you guys drop me off near my place first?" and Fadel gets confused: "What do you mean, 'your place'? The garage?" Fadel's confusion might be a little weird, because why exactly would Fadel be so confused about "my place"? That seems pretty self-explanatory in English, no? Well, let me explain. Because there's something really interesting going on here in Thai...

Now, I didn't go back and rewatch the entire show to check (if I did, it would be March until I finally drop this meta lol), but as far as I remember they usually refer to Style's place as "the garage", or อู่ [ùu] in Thai. But here for this line, when Style say "my place", he does not use the word อู่ [ùu] (= garage). Instead, he asks to be dropped off at his ร้าน [ráan]. Now what does that mean? This word means "store" or "shop" and like in English it can be paired with other words to specify just what kind of shop it is, for example:

ร้านหนังสือ [ráan năng-sĕu]: ráan (store) + năng-sĕu (book) = book store

ร้านดอกไม้ [ráan dòhk mái]: ráan (store) + dòhk mái (flower) = flower shop

You may have noticed that I said Style says just ร้าน [ráan], without specifying what kind of shop it is. Because just like in English, you can drop the specification and refer to it as just "the shop" (or ร้าน [ráan] in this case).

Now here comes the interesting bit: this word is also used when referring to food related places such as...

restaurant = ร้านอาหาร [ráan aa-hăan] -> ráan (shop) + aa-hăan (food)

coffee shop = ร้านกาแฟ [ráan gaa-fae] -> ráan (shop) + gaa-fae (coffee)

Or, you know, it's also in... ร้านเบอร์เกอร์ [ráan ber-gêr]. Now, เบอร์เกอร์ is "burger", but written in Thai letters. I don't have to tell you what ráan burger translates to, do I?

Oh, and at his point I should probably also mention that while the characters usually refer to Style's place as อู่ [ùu] (garage), when they talk about Fadel's place (the diner) they usually call it ร้าน [ráan] (shop, restaurant).

So yeah. The moment Style dropped that he wanted to be taken to his ร้าน [ráan] instead of his อู่ [ùu] (= garage) was the moment I started screaming, because that's when I knew for sure Style had bought back the restaurant and more importantly, that he had succeeded in doing so (yes, I did scream as if I didn't already know they were gonna be back at the restaurant through the clips shown in the MVs and from pics the boys posted during the shoot where they posed in front of the burger shop sign and their clothes matched the ones from the clips lol).

As I already mentioned, Style refers to it as just ร้าน [ráan] without specifying what kind of ร้าน [ráan] it is and it's vague enough that Fadel doesn't catch on the surprise, but it's just weird enough for Fadel to get confused: "What do you mean, 'ร้าน [ráan]'? The garage (อู่ [ùu])?" Yeah, Fadel's confusion here is about Style's unexpected word choice, because usually Style doesn't refer to his garage as ร้าน [ráan] (= shop, store). This is how they used to refer to the diner before Fadel had to go to prison. Style tells him he'll know soon and urges him to get into the car. They all do and Kant drives off.

No. 11: Surprise Surprise

The surprise works. Fadel didn't see it coming. "You said it was sold to someone." Style nods, making a m-hm sound, an adoring smile on his face that just oozes love and care. I really wish I could add a gif or a screenshot of his face, but unfortunately there's an image limit. I mean, you've seen the episode. You know how head over heels in love Style looks throughout this entire scene.

Style explains he bought it back for Fadel who then says Style didn't have to do that. Style says "I worked my ass off to buy this place back for you." I'm not entirely happy with the phrasing in the official subs, because to me there is also a negative connotation hidden in the phrase "work one's ass off", in the sense of "I worked my ass off for [xyz] and you don't appreciate it". But that might just be my ESL brain, maybe the media I've consumed mostly used this phrase in a more negative context and now my brain associates it with that.

In Thai Style uses the expression ตั้งใจทำงาน [dtâng jai tam ngaan] which does translate to "to work hard", but this expression contains the word ตั้งใจ [dtâng jai] which means "to intend to" or "to mean". I think it highlights with how much intention Style did this for Fadel. Style really meant to do this, like he's meant a lot of other things he's said or done over the last few episodes.

And Style putting in so much work also really shows how much he's grown. Because in the first half of the show I kept wondering why he had so much time to run after Fadel. We were told Style works as a mechanic, but we rarely saw him do any actual work. Instead, Style was able to follow Fadel's routine at the market or at the sports field or was even able to randomly help Fadel work at the restaurant without any scheduling problems and I kept thinking... what about his job at the garage? Is he never working? How does he have so much time to bother Fadel? And earlier in episode 12 Style's dad actually confirms just that: "You always only fixed a few cars a month." So Style, indeed, had the time to keep bugging Fadel. And back then it seemed like he didn't really have anything to do, didn't really have a goal or any direction in life. But then Kant sets Style on Fadel. And suddenly Style has a mission. And then Style falls in love. And now he suddenly has goals to work towards. We saw it last episode already, when Style suddenly started to make plans (first, his elaborate plan on getting Fadel and Bison on the run and second, during his last supper with Fadel when Style suggests making a plan for their life and their relationship while Fadel was imprisoned), and now it's not just that Style has started planning, but he makes plans with a very specific goal in mind and puts all his efforts in to reach this goal. He's no longer running around doing whatever. Style has really matured in this regard, Fadel's influence has changed him and has made him grow.

When Style says how determined he was to work hard to earn money to buy back the restaurant, his voice is somehow both soft and firm at the same time. His voice is so soft and filled with so much love, but there is some urgency to it, because Style needs Fadel to know this and he needs Fadel to know that he wanted to do this for him. Style knows he didn't have to, but Style wanted to. And it's important to him that Fadel really understands this. Because over the years Fadel has so often blocked or disregarded or struggled to accept all the nice things that Style has done for him. And Style doesn't want his act of love to be devalued again, especially not when he has spent so much time, effort, and energy on it purely out of love. A love that is worth it.

It's finally hitting Fadel what Style was so busy with when Fadel was sulking at him. Style confirms with another "mh". God, Style's heart eyes are really off the charts in this scene. "I wasn't sure I could do it so I didn't tell you," Style explains. And then he tells Fadel how he managed to keep up the energy in order to succeed despite his uncertainty: "But the image of you being back in this restaurant gave me this great strength to fix at least a hundred cars." Style smiles a bright, adoring smile. He's so in love. Fadel takes Styles hand and thanks him: "Thank you for doing this for me and for waiting for me." When Style responds, he actually phrases his sentence in a less direct and more general way in Thai than he does in the official subs:

Well, when you love someone, you gotta be able to wait. ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ [gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì] well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle] Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.

This is an interesting difference between the Thai wording and the English subs, because once Fadel and Style start dating, Style actually rarely ever outright says the words "I love you" (and neither does Fadel, by the way). The only time Style properly says it is when Fadel has him at gun point in episode 7:

But now that I know the real you, I love you for real, Fadel. แต่พอกูรู้ตัวจริงของมึงแล้วอ่ะ กูรักมึงจริงๆนะฟาเดล [dtàe - poh - guu - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung - láew - àh • guu - rák - mueng - jing jing - ná - Fadel] but - when - I - know - real you - already - [particle] • I - love - you - really, for real - [na] - Fadel Official subs: Now that I know you, I really love you, Fadel.

And then arguably he says it again in episode 10 when he comforts Fadel on the stairs, although it's up to debate if that really counts as a direct "I love you":

But that I'm still staying / But that I still stayed แต่ที่กูยังอยู่ [dtàe - tîi - guu - yang - yùu] but - that - I - still - stay Official subs: But I stay with you is because I love that you're you / is because I love you for being you เพราะกูรักที่เป็นมึง [próh - guu - rák - tîi - bpen - mueng] because - I - love - that - be - you Official subs: because I love who you are.

Any other time Style talks about "love", he never addresses Fadel directly but phrases it in a more general way, using the word คน [kon] which means "person" or "people" instead of a pronoun. Style does this in episode 10 just a little while after the above line:

The more I know how much you care about me, ยิ่งกูรู้ว่ามึงแค่ร์กูขนาดเนี่ย [yîng - guu - rúu - wâa - mueng - kâe - guu - kà-nàat nîia] the more - I - know - that - you - care (about) - me - like this, this much Official subs: Knowing how much you care about me the more I know that I don't love the wrong person. มันยิ่งทำให้รู้นะว่ากูอ่ะ รักคนไม่ผิด [man - yîng - tam hâi - rúu - ná - wâa - guu - àh • rák - kon - mâi - pìt] it - the more - make that, cause - know - [particle] - that - I - [particle] • love - person - not - wrong Official subs: makes me certain that I didn't choose the wrong man.

And he also does it in episode 9 when Fadel opens up about his ex for the first time on the island:

A person who risks their own life for someone they don't even know. คนที่เอาชีวิตตัวเองไปเสี่ยงเพื่อคนที่ไม่รู้จักด้วยซ้ำ​ [kon - tîi - ao - chee-wít dtuua eng - bpai - sìiang - pêuua - kon - tîi - mâi - rúu-jàk - dûuay sám] person - that - take - one's own life - go - risk - for - person - that - not - know - even Official subs: You risked your life for a total stranger. I love the right person. กูรักถูกคนแล้วละ [guu - rák - tùuk - kon - láew - lá] I - love - right - person - already - [particle] Official subs: I know I'm in love with the right man.

And Style does it again now in episode 12, standing in front of the restaurant with Fadel. And let me just repeat the line with an even more literal translation this time (this sentence really doesn't work well in a literal translation in English, especially because English also comes with plural forms rip):

Well, people who love, they gotta be able to wait. / Well, a person who loves, has to be able to wait. ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ [gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì] well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle] Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.

This time Style actually switches it around, because previously คน [kon] implicitly referred to Fadel, while this time คน [kon] actually refers to Style himself. And for some reason the official translator went for a direct "I love you" when Style neither says "I", nor says "you". In the entire series, Fadel and Style rarely say the words "I love you" word for word to each other. It's very clear that they do love each other, but they never outright say it. Instead they say things like "I'm worried about you" or "So what if we're old? I'll still wanna be with you" or "I don't feel so sad anymore. I'm happier." And they don't really need to tell each other I love you anyway, because their actions speak for themselves. It's like Fadel said the moment he got out of prison: "I'm not saying it. I'm showing it." And yes, this line was about missing Style, but really, this sentiment also goes for their love, for both Fadel as well as Style. So Style doesn't directly say he loves Fadel, instead Style just implies it and it's only in the next line where he doesn't mention the word "love" that he directly addresses Fadel:

Whether it's 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, I can always wait for you. จะ 5 ปี 10 ปี 20 ปี รอมึงได้เสมอแหละ [jà - hâa - bpii - sìp - bpii - yîi-sìp - bpii - raw - mueng - dâai - sà-mĕr -làe] will - 5 - years - 10 - years - 20 - years - wait (for) - you - be able to - always - [particle] Official subs: Whether it’s five, ten, or twenty years, I'll wait for you.

And this is the point where I get jumpscared by Dunk's voice suddenly blasting through my speakers. I wish the editors had made the music just a little more quiet. It gets me every single time, because every single time I watch this scene I get so immersed that I completely forget about the jumpscare. Fadel and Style lovingly stare at each other while I scramble to save the health of my eardrums. Then Fadel says he'll work hard to pay Style back, but Style doesn't want that. Technically Style is the current owner, and if Fadel were to pay him back then it would be like Fadel was buying the restaurant from Style. But that's not how Style wants to see it. Because this isn't Style's restaurant that Fadel has to buy from him. No, it's their restaurant. It's already their restaurant. Because obviously if Style owns it, then Fadel owns it, too. It's both a gift to Fadel and something that Style bought for them to share. Because "I'm here to support you in all your dreams." Because no one means well for Fadel more than Style does.

Fadel says "I sure am a lucky guy. I've been doing bad things my entire life, but I have the best boyfriend in the world." Style throws his head to the side, smiling, half in an Oh, you sweet-talker way and half in a No need to mention it, kinda way. Then he says "It's all thanks to Kant for daring me to take you out." And this is actually a reference to the title. The Thai name of the series goes:

He hired me to flirt with a hitman เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า [kăo - jâang - hâi - pŏm - jìip - nák-kâa] he - hire - that - I - hit on, flirt, woo - assassin

And this is what Style says:

[...] for hiring me flirt with you. [...] ที่จ้างกูมาจีบมึง [tîi - jâang - guu - maa - jìip - mueng] that - hire - I - come - hit on, flirt, woo - you

Style laughs and Fadel smiles, too, and then Style pulls the Heart Burger pin out of his pocket. Without a word, he carefully pins it onto Fadel's shirt while Fadel makes heart-eyes at him. It's a parallel to Fadel putting the pin on Style last episode. The ring pin exchange is complete. Style says "From now on, everything is yours." They're all but married. Style still has his hand on Fadel's chest by the pin. Fadel goes to grab it. They smile at each other. Then they turn and together they enter the restaurant, their restaurant, their shared future, hand in hand.

No. 12: Dinner With Mom

At night, when Fadel and Style are done at the ร้าน [ráan] (restaurant) they do go to Style's อู่ [ùu] (garage). And I love how Style immediately calls out that Fadel is here. Style is so excited to tell his dad the joyful news. But but before he has the chance to share his good news, he gets surprised with bad news instead. A dinner invitation.

Our foursome once again gets together to fight evil. And of course, the evil dinner invitation calls for an urgent outfit change for all four of them. They're greeted by two men holding out guns, and Style is a bit startled for a moment, but otherwise keeps calm. The men demand Fadel's and Bison's guns and the brothers hand them over. The men then walk into the dining room and the the four of them look at each other before following the men inside where Lilly is waiting for them together with Babe and Style's dad tied up on their chairs. Kant and Style immediately call out to their loved ones. In general, I just love how worried about his dad Style is throughout the entire scene and how he keeps checking and communicating with him. I actually made a whole separate post about this with lots of gifs where I really go into detail about it, because the relationship between Style and his dad really needs to be appreciated in all its glory in gifs and tumblr simply just has an image limit of 30 gifs per (desktop) post. I can't afford to spend like 20 of them on Style and his dad alone. It was already tricky enough to limit everything I wanted to showcase for this episode to only 30 images in the first place. Anyway. Back to the scene.

Once again Style finds himself in danger, and once again he mainly stays out of the conflict between the brothers and their mother. We also aren't shown Style's face that much, so we can only make guesses as to how he feels listening to Lilly monologuing on and on and Bison raging at her. Style probably feels worried, especially for his dad. We know this, because in the beginning of the scene, before everyone sat down at the table, Style was very fixated on his dad and you could tell that he wanted nothing more than to run over to him and check if his dad was unharmed. When everyone is sitting at the table, sometimes the camera cuts into a wideshot and while we only see the back of Style's head, we can tell that he's looking at Lilly, so I assume he's paying close attention to her words and actions.

At some point, Kant chimes in: "It was me who exposed you. I masterminded the whole thing. If you want to kill someone, kill me. Just let my brother go." Style immediately jumps on board: "Kant was right. Let my Dad go. He doesn't know anything. I don't care what you do to me." We already learned in episode 9 that Style is very much willing to give his own life for the people he loves and so it doesn't come as a surprise at all that he's willing to offer himself up for his dad. However, in comparison to episode 9 there now is a hint of uncertainty to Style's voice, because he really doesn't know Lilly and so he can't predict her actions and reactions unlike he could with Fadel in episode 9. Lilly laughs a mocking laugh while Style and his dad exchange glances. And I love that they exchange glances here, because, to quote from my other post:

i love that style is communicating with his dad again at this very point, because style offering himself up will also affect his dad. his dad might be physically fine if style trades his dad for himself, but emotionally the dad will be ruined if lilly takes his son's life, especially when he's already had to deal with the loss of his wife years ago. style being willing to sacrifice himself isn't nothing, in fact, it's a very big deal and so the two of them communicate about it

Lilly continues to monologue and announces she has some poisonous drinks prepared for the occasion. Style turns to his dad and says "Dad. I'm sorry." His dad had absolutely nothing to do with this, his dad is totally innocent and Style hates that his dad was pulled into this and that his dad's life is now in danger.

We then don't see any shot of Style at all while Fadel and Bison plead with their mother and offer to continue working for her. We don't get to see Style immediate reaction to Lilly's announcement that she'll let her sons and their boyfriends go if her sons give their brother-in-law and their father-in-law the poisoned drink. There is a long pause and it's only right before Lilly asks "Can you do that?" that the camera goes back to Style and we see there is shock and concern. Shit's getting real.

Fadel and Bison say yes, they can. Style is most definitely very worried right now, but to be honest, I don't feel like he's all that terrified, I think that's more of a secondary feeling. He watches closely as Fadel lifts the glass towards his dad lips, and Style is clearly anxious and agitated and maybe a little afraid, but he doesn't say a single word to stop Fadel and I think deep down he does trust Fadel not to kill his dad, trusts Fadel to find a way out with dad unscathed. After all they've been through, I think Style trusts Fadel not to cause him such great pain. Although I do think Style is ready to swap the glass out of Fadel's hand at any given moment. But Fadel pulls through. From one moment to the next Fadel throws the wine into his mother's minion's face, attacks him, and Bison follows his lead. Style and Kant jump up to free their family.

Fadel and Bison kill the henchmen without remorse and end up with Lilly at gunpoint. Kant calls out for Bison not to kill her and Style offers to call the cops. Now that the immediate danger is over, we get to see a little bit of that Style again who tries to mediate and solve conflicts with as few people coming to harm as possible. But Fadel orders him not to get the police involved, so Style drops his phone, still concerned and not entirely happy, but without further protest. Style, Kant, and their family watch the brothers poison Lilly without interrupting them.

And I kinda love we do get to see Style witness Fadel actually murdering someone, because in my ep5 meta I wrote this:

"I promise that no matter who you are, I'll still like you." And there it is. Style's decision. [...] Fadel doesn't believe [Style's] promise, though. "Words are cheap. I'll do that when you're ready. You can judge, then." Again, I think Fadel has a point. [...] Because yes, Style may say he'll like Fadel no matter his occupation, but Style still hasn't seen the killer in action. Fadel's words mean Decide whether you still like me or not only when you find out my real occupation before you promise anything as much as they mean Decide whether you still like me or not once you've actually seen me murder someone in front of you before you promise anything. Style has already made a decision about the former, but he is yet to make a decision about the latter.

And so I love that Style is now able to make the choice of loving Fadel having seen Fadel truly at his worst, having seen him murder someone in cold blood.

I know for this meta I focus purely on character analysis, and I don't really criticize (whether it's acting performances or script writing or directing or whatnot), but I do wish the series would have spent a little more time on this, on Style seeing Fadel kill. Because Style is clearly affected by what he is witnessing.

Something truly horrible is happening right in front of his eyes. And it's a shame that Style finally seeing the killer in action gets kind of just glossed over in the very next moment when "I'm a killer, I'm a bad person, you should be wary of me" "I love you anyway" has been such a big theme for these two. It's kinda weird that we go from Style looking this horrified to Style being happy and content in bed, as if nothing had happened. That kill doesn't even get mentioned again. I feel like you could jump from the scene in front of the diner straight to Fadel and Style in bed and not notice that any major traumatizing event has occurred in between. Ah well. Let's move on.

No. 13: 100%

We come back to Fadel and Style sitting in Style's bed at night. Fadel is wondering if he should change the restaurant's name and Style thinks it's fine as it is. But Fadel says he wants Style to be a part of it, too, so Style suggests "Just add an S and a heart" and I'm just thinking... So, Heart Burgers? Or Hearts Burger, since he talks about an additional heart? Or maybe the S in an entirely different position? Whatever name Style is thinking of, according to him with an added S and another heart it'll be a better version than Fadel's version, because:

Because you have another heart right here. เพราะมีหัวใจอีกดวงเพิ่มขึ้นมาอยู่ตรงนี้ไง [próh - mii - hŭua-jai - ìik - duuang - pêrm kêun - maa - yùu - dtrong níi - ngai] because - have - heart - another - [classifier] - increased - come - be - here - [particle] Official subs: With another heart, that is.

Fadel likes Style's idea. And before I move on, I just want to go into more depth about this little sequence for a moment: after Fadel explains that he's thinking of changing the name because he wants Style to be part of it, too, Style looks like he thinks about something for a moment before he says "I don't think it needs much change." Of course, in this moment he is thinking about what exactly could be changed if Fadel really does want to change something, but the thing is, Style already likes the restaurant the way it is. He doesn't necessarily need the restaurant to change if Fadel is changing it just because he thinks Style would want him to change it. It really reminds me of episode 6 and the theme of "Be who you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be". If the restaurant represents Fadel's life, Style already likes Fadel the way he is. But if Fadel does want to change, there is something important to do: he needs to add a S(tyle) to his life. And another heart (Style's heart). With that, it will make a much better version of Fadel's life than it was before. And Fadel actually agrees.

I can't help but think back to the last time they were in Style's bed at night, all the way back in episode 5. Back then, Fadel really struggled with sharing his life with Style and letting him come close. Now Fadel actively wants Style to be part of his life. Now that he's done being a hitman, the restaurant can finally be Fadel's life, but it's not his restaurant alone, it's theirs. Getting to be part of Fadel's life is something Style has desired for a long time now and has even fought and argued with Fadel over on multiple occasions, and now Style is finally granted his wish. Fadel is finally letting Style in. When Fadel agrees that a better version would be one with an added S(tyle), Style looks at Fadel for a moment and thinks about something again.

Style knows Fadel loves him. And that actually reminds him... Style turns to grab something off the shelf next to him and proudly presents it to Fadel. The key to Kant's car. It's finally Style's. And I know from a story crafting perspective it makes sense for Style to receive the car only at the very end, but it's still really funny to me that Style was given the car only now, when Fadel has without a doubt been head over heels in love with Style for the past five years already. Because Fadel was without a doubt already head over heels in love with Style before he went to prison. But however long it took, what really matters is that Style did get the car, because a deal is a deal. And Style did indeed succeed. "If I could make you fall crazy in love with me, I'd get his car." When Style says that, his voice is full of affection and there's also a bit of teasing. I know you're head over heels in love with me. But Fadel tells Style to give the key back to Kant:

Because I don't love you that much. เพราะกูไม่ได้รักมึงขนาดนั้น [próh - guu - mâi dâai - rák - mueng - kà-nàat nán] because - I - not - love - you - to that extent Official subs: I’m not in love with you like that.

Style wordlessly stares at Fadel for a second while he's processing those words, blinks, then lowers his head. Really now?

Fadel looks at him, a grin most definitely hidden in his eyes, then huffs and pointedly ignores Style. It's a challenge. Style puts down the car key. Challenge accepted. Because Style is not one to back down from a challenge. This personality trait has stayed consistent until the end of the series. Style turns to loom over Fadel. "Are you sure that you're not head over heels in love with me?" Because Style knows with unwavering certainty that Fadel is. He just needs Fadel to admit to it. I've already talked about how Fadel and Style hardly say "I love you" to each other. Style, the person who loves so fiercely and so passionately and so loudly, already rarely says it himself and Fadel says it even less. In fact, ever since they've started dating the only other time Fadel has said he loves Style since that one time Fadel directly said it the night he found out about the betrayal in episode 6 was in the kitchen in episode 11 when he said he wants to "do what I love with who I love" and even then he actually doesn't literally say the words I love you, but rather just implies it. If anything, Fadel likes to claim he isn't actually in love with Style. And so I think Style wants to hear Fadel say differently out loud for once, even if Fadel's actions speak louder than his words anyway.

But Fadel continues to ignore him. I think Fadel is waiting to see what Style will do in order to draw the words out of Fadel's mouth that Style so desperately wants to hear. It's like he's testing Style's persistence. Style kisses Fadel's cheeks and asks "How much do you love me?" But Fadel isn't giving in to Style that easily and that quickly. "Only 30%." He knows Style is chasing those 100%. Style ups the ante and kisses Fadel's neck. This is a game now. "How much do you love me?" Fadel says "60% now" and looks up at Style, waiting to see what Style's next move is going to be. This time, Style goes for the mouth, goes for a full make-out session even. Then Style asks again: "How much do you love me?" He grins at Fadel expectantly and he's definitely also a little bit satisfied and proud. Fadel doesn't reply immediately, just puts his hand on Style's face and looks at him for a moment. And then Fadel finally gives in and says "100%".

Again, this meta isn't supposed to be a review or a criticism piece on the story, but I do think it's a bit of a shame that the conversations about percentages wasn't about trust. Because I feel like the main question with them over the series wasn't really Does Fadel love Style? but rather Does Fadel trust Style? And trust was also the big theme of episode 5, the episode that Fadel and Style's game in episode 12 is a callback to: "A guy like me doesn't go trusting someone 100%." And a little later in episode 5, when they're in Style's bed, Style more or less opens the conversation with "Sometimes you make me feel so scared, and sometimes you make me feel so safe," which again is about trust, not love. This theme continues also in episode 8, when Fadel handcuffs Style to the bed, because "I don't trust you", not because he doesn't love Style. Episode 8 is all about Style trying to gain Fadel's trust again, not his love: "What do I have to do for you to trust me?" The episode 12 dialogue does work in a way, because Fadel did say he didn't love Style or didn't like him all that much multiple times over the course of the series, and he even makes a comment like that in this very scene that we're currently discussing. But the thing is, Style never actually believes Fadel whenever Fadel claims he doesn't love Style (that much) and Style even calls him out on his "I don't love you" claim in episode 8: "You might be good at cooking and shooting, but you're not very good at lying at all." Style never doubted that Fadel loved him, but trust has been a very big issue. In fact, trust also played a role only this very episode when Fadel was sulking at Style when Style couldn't come in to teach in prison. Because in episode 10 Fadel had told Style "I don't want to have any expectations just to be disappointed" and Fadel had trusted Style not to disappoint him, except then Style seemingly does disappoint him and that hurts Fadel ("I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." [...] "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?"). It makes Fadel feel like he can't trust Style, not that he can't love Style. And the question in that scene is whether Fadel can trust Style to really be working on something for their future that Style can't share yet, it's not whether Style loves him. So yeah. I feel like the dialogue about the percentages would have been a much cleaner parallel/callback if it had been about Fadel trusting Style, not about Fadel loving Style. Because we all, including Style, know that Fadel has always loved Style. He just didn't always trust him. But now he does. 100%. Style once decided "One day, I'll be your 100%" and now he is. They celebrate that by making out some more.

When they part again, Style tells Fadel "You know what? Having you is worth more than winning that car" and I'm filled with satisfaction upon hearing that, because I said more or less exactly the same thing three episodes ago in my ep9 meta:

[I]t's actually kinda funny, because Style agreed to make Fadel his boyfriend, but it's been how many episodes since they've started dating?? And we have yet to see Style with said car. [...] [A]s of episode 6 it was Kant who was still in possession of the car, despite Style and Fadel being head over heels in love by that point [...]. Style may have gone into it for the car, but he never actually took the car and by now the car is long forgotten. I didn't go and check, but as far as I remember Style hasn't even brought the car up to Kant ever since that scene in episode 4 where he initially came to claim it. At this point, Style would much rather have Fadel than the car anyway.

(Bolded for emphasis)

Now please forgive me if I skip the rest of the love scene, but I do want to get this post done before the end of the month, if possible. I think the main take-away is that now they both very much want each other and are very much into it, with nothing holding either one of them back.

No. 14: Driving Into the Sunset

Of course their last scene would be of them driving into the (metaphorical) sunset together in Kant's car that Style has finally won. Fadel and Style check in with Kant and Bison in Iceland. After the call, Fadel asks if Style would also like to go on a trip. Obviously Style wants to. "I usually travel with my Dad. Never done it with my boyfriend before," Style says, at which point, upon me showing my language buddy and Thai language consultant this scene, he goes "...the kidnapping, though?" and I break into laughter, because my friend is right. Yeah, Style, what do you mean you've never gone on a trip with your boyfriend? *gestures at episodes 8 and 9* Right, wots all this then?

I mean, technically you could argue that during that time Fadel wasn't actually Style's boyfriend, but let's be real, Style never got that memo. Or rather he went I recognize that the Council has made a decision. But given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.

Anyway, whether it'll be their first trip, their second trip, or their hundredth trip, I don't think Style will ever say no to traveling with Fadel. Fadel suggests planning a trip later and then, at the mention of Style's dad, asks how Style's dad is taking the news of Fadel being an ex-assassin and ex-prisoner. I do think Style's dad is genuinely chill with it, but once again I wish the series would have dwelled just a little bit more on the aftermath of the Lilly incident and on how it affected everyone involved. Because it was quite a traumatic and brutal incident, and it's a bit jarring how everyone is all sunshine and rainbows from one second to the next. But for the sake of this meta and the next line, I'll just assume that everyone, including Style's dad, worked through it all off-screen. Style says that his dad is totally okay with it, because "He said I need someone with a past like yours to tie me down." The Thai wording is slightly different, actually:

My dad said someone like me needs to meet someone with a history like yours. พ่อกูอ่ะ บอกว่าคนอย่างกูต้องเจอคนมีประวัติแบบมึง [pôh guu - àh • bòhk - wâa - kon - yàang - guu - dtông - jer - kon - mii - bprà-wàt - bàep - meung] my dad - [particle] • say - that - person - like - me - have to, need to - meet - person - have - history - like - you

I like that in the original phrasing it doesn't state the "to tie me down" part. The Thai line leaves it up to the viewer's interpretation as to why exactly Style would need someone with a past like Fadel's. Personally, I took it in a "Style needs someone fucked up enough to be able to stand and handle and appreciate all of Style's unhingedness". And I don't necessarily think that Fadel would actively try to tie Style down, since Style's shameless loudness and Style's ability to unabashedly be himself and say things without a filter is exactly what Fadel loves him for. I think Fadel tying Style down ("taming" him *wink wink*) happens more as a byproduct of both of them influencing each other and changing into better versions of themselves when they're together.

The words of Style's dad make Fadel laugh. Then he says: "You know, I still remember what I promised your dad before I went to jail." Style looks over to him and asks "What did you promise?" Style smiles and I see both joy as well as curiosity on his face.

I think Style knows exactly what promise Fadel is referring to, but he's dying to hear the words out loud out from Fadel's mouth. His expression is also very expectant, almost challenging when he's done speaking. The little head tilt afterwards is almost like he's saying Pray do tell. Fadel replies: "I told him I'd go talk to him after five years." As I said, I think Style knew what the promise was, but I think actually hearing Fadel say it still gives him a thrill and causes butterflies in his tummy. He looks over to Fadel in pure delight.

And I love, love, LOVE that Fadel was the one to bring it up first. Because at some point after episode 8, when there were so many references to a FadelStyle marriage and I seriously started thinking about the possibility of a canon FadelStyle wedding or at least a wedding proposal (lmao joke's on me rip), I was contemplating about who of the two would propose first and who I'd prefer to do so. And I thought Style proposing would fit with his personality, especially since he himself said "I could spring a ring on you one day and just ask you to marry me." It seemed fit that the series would end with Style doing exactly just that. But then I contemplated some more and thought, actually, I would love it if Fadel was the one to propose. Because in the series it's always Style who is chasing Fadel, it's always Style proving over and over again that he really wants Fadel in his life while Fadel spends the majority of the series pushing Style away (and Fadel does it again even in the finale when he's mad at Style during year 4!). And I thought that it would probably mean the world to Style if Fadel proposed. Because it would showcase that Fadel wants Style in his life just as much as Style wants Fadel in his life. It would show Style that the feeling is mutual, that Fadel wants it for himself, too. That a marriage isn't something Fadel agreed to just because Style asked for it or talked him into it or anything like that. Fadel proposing would show Style that Fadel is choosing Style out of his own free will the way Style has been choosing Fadel over and over again. I'm once again reminded of @braceletofteeth's tags on this post:

#Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid #just like he takes pride in choosing his own man #he would be proud to be chosen as Fadel's man #delighted‚ if Fadel let others (and Style) know he's the one who earned the space reserved for his special someone #in his heavily secured heart #if he was so special to Fadel that he wouldn't want him to be taken away #or to share him with anyone else

Fadel asking for Style's hand in marriage, Fadel marrying Style would be Fadel claiming Style, it would be Fadel making an announcement to the world that Style is his and his alone. It would be Fadel choosing Style and Style would even have a ring to prove it. To prove that he is Fadel's. To prove that Fadel is his. I just thought Fadel being the one to propose would mean the world to Style. And judging by the joy in Style's face in the above gif, it absolutely does mean the world to him. That Fadel is the one to bring up the prospect of marriage.

Style asks if Fadel is serious and Fadel says yes, he is, but that he wants to have the chat only once the restaurant is up and running again (at least that's how I interpreted this statement). Style says "No need to hurry." He most definitely wants to marry Fadel one day, but I think he's got a point with this. After all, it's only now that they can finally start dating "properly", can finally experience the couple life with both of them out of prison, all cards out in the open, both parties trusting and loving each other mutually, and most importantly, without fearing for their lives. "No need to push yourself. After everything that we've been through, still staying together is already beyond anything we expected." Their relationship really is chill the way it is, there is no need to rush anything. They can get married when they both feel the time is right for it. I think that's what Style is getting at here. Fadel agrees. Then he says "I thought I'd die alone." Style knows that well. They discussed this last episode by the gravestone. And back then, Style had already announced that he wouldn't let Fadel get lonely in death. Now he says: "We'll die one day, but we'll die together of old age." They're gonna have that old man yaoi future together.

Fadel laughs, claims Style is cheesy, but still plants a big kiss on Style's lips. Uhhhh, Fadel, so what about the lecture you gave Style about safe driving the first time you guys met? All of that goes right out of the window as Style and Fadel continue to plant kisses on each other. How's that for character growth?

And off they drive into the night. Style's got both the car of his dreams as well as the man of his dreams. What more could Style want?

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11)

[youalreadyhavefullresults]

the mindset journey

So hi.

My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.

TLDR:

Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.

Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?

It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.

Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)

Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.

Revision is so powerful, use it.

It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.

And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33

I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

The Initial Mindset:

I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.

The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There���s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.

When Everything Changed:

I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.

For example,

“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”

Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.

“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”

I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.

“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”

First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.

“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”

Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.

“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”

Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.

“Can I manifest-”

Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.

“But-but, what if-”

Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?

I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.

How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!

-cinna

[kasagia]

Can you give us a little sneak peak for the next part

My twodear anonymous and @hanadays1234, thank you so much! 😊🖤🩵

Yes, I can. And since I wrote all my exams, I only focus on writing. 🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵

Nope 🤭🙈 🩵🖤🖤🩵

24.05 Friday or 27.05 Monday. (I have nothing written except what I will give you right now)

Also, who binge watched Bridgerton season 3 and now get inspiration for the new series (for Feyd, I showed you once) instead on focus on the Right Hand? 🤡🙈

Anyway... sneak peak:

Feyd rarely felt pain he didn't like. The years spent on Giedi Prime—or rather, years of enduring his uncle's methods of making him a true Harkonnen, his worthy successor—made Feyd love pain. He found pleasure in it—something he had to learn if he wanted to survive.

But it didn't bring him any satisfaction or pleasure when you pierced his chest with one of his swords. He feels pure pain. Anger, betrayal, and hurt.

He hates the way he falls limply to his knees in front of you. He hates that he still looks at you like you're a saint. He hates that he hopes you'll at least look him in the eyes, as if that would bring him some kind of salvation. He hates how lost he feels now and how he's slowly losing awareness of his surroundings. He hates that even though you stabbed him, all he can do is stare at you, clinging to the sight of you more than to his life.

"This will be the beginning of a wonderful alliance, Lady Y/N."

He feels you unhook your poisoned dagger from his arm. Feyd thinks you're doing it to finish him off. Poetically kill him with the weapon he gave you. He closes his eyes and waits for the final stab or throat slit. But nothing like that happens. He doesn't have the strength to turn around and see exactly what you're doing, but your words alone are enough for him to imagine the scene that is happening behind him.

"I may not be a Harkonnen, but I've picked up a few of their habits. If you want an agreement between us, show me your hand." After your words, he can hear a hiss from Atreides when you plunge the dagger into your joined hands, piercing them both through.

Feyd would have laughed mockingly if he hadn't spent all his energy on breathing slowly. He remembered explaining to you how contracts, such as arranged marriages, were sealed on Giedi Prime. The Harkonnens shook hands and pierced them with swords, thus signing a blood pact. This also applied to marriages and other such things. Blood bound them stronger than any words or signatures on paper. He cursed himself for the fact that, seeing your scared face at his words, he withdrew from this idea and decided to make a verbal agreement between you. He should be the one to bind you with his blood, not Atreides.

The steel in his body rubs against his lower ribs, but it does not damage any major organs. He tries to keep the sword in the exact same position you stuck it in, but he feels like he's going to faint from all the pain, the blood, and the fear for you that he feels now.

You made him so weak that even after you stabbed him, all he could think about was your safety and your well-being. Every shaky breath he took, every slow beat of his heart as he fought to stay conscious—it was all for you.

He just hoped like hell that you weren't lying a few moments ago, that this would all turn out to be just one of your games, and that you would soon end Atreides' life. But it's not like that.

"Let this blood be a symbol of our union." Your sweet, dangerous whisper reaches Feyd's ears.

He's raging with powerlessness and anger. That Atreides dog didn't deserve to mix his blood with yours. Only Feyd should be able to do this. Only his black blood should merge with your crimson, staining your joined hands as you swore allegiance to each other. His heart hurts more than the wound you gave him as he imagine how you and this desert rat are now echanging each other's blood.

If he hadn't been placed in such a vulnerable state by you, he would have ripped Atreides' heart out with his bare hands for daring to mix his blood with yours. A cold shiver runs down his spine at the thought of Atreides connecting with you in yet another way. A way Feyd was robbed too many times.

He tries to get up, but he doesn't have enough strength. All he can do is place his hands on the floor, trying to take the weight off his torso. The blade scratching his flesh bothers him much less than the fact that Atreides has the nerve to touch you or that you're blatantly ignoring him while playing whatever game you're playing right now.

"Leave him to me. I want… to repay him for all these years of fulfilling his wishes."

(...)

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Qué serà, serà. Prologue

Callum Turner X Reader

Sumarry: The history of Callum and Y/n's relationship.

Warning: None

Taglist: @emmaafinchh @adeena04 @alelo23

If you're not in it and want to be, let me know

A/n: I don't know each part of Callum's life, I knew he grew up without a dad. I won't write anything about it, except what I wrote. Love y'all

Y/n and Callum had always been Y/n and Callum. They’ve been best friends since they were in the wombs. Their parents were best friends, they’d met in high school, became a group of friends and are still best friends to this day. When the two girls became pregnant at the same time, they knew their children were going to be best friend. Callum was born a month before Y/n, he was born February 15th, Y/n was born on March 15th. They went to school together; they were always together. Since they were both an only child, they found in each other the sibling they didn’t have. When they were both 4 years old, they made a promise.

They were playing in the park; he was pushing her on the swing. ‘’Will you promise me a thing, Cal?’’ her little voice said. ‘’Of course, Y/n/n, what is it?’’ he said. ‘’Never leave me, you’re my best friend’’ she said. She’d came off the swing and went in front of him. She showed him her pinky fingers. ‘’Promise?’’ she asked. They hooked their pinkie together. ‘’Pinky promise’’ he said. They both hugged and went back playing in the park.

As they both grew up, the always remembered this promise, they honored it. After all, pinky promise was the most serious promise of all. Y/n wasn’t popular at school, she didn’t have many friends, Callum, on the contrary, had tons of friends, but he only had one best friend. People thought Y/n was weird, even though she was perfectly normal. She loved history, Harry Potter and sucked at math, when she was 7, she got diagnosed with dyscalculia, it’s a learning disability with math. It would often lead her to mistake her left and right, she couldn’t read a normal clock and she had trouble solving math problems. It often made her feel stupid, but Callum always cheered her up. He understood math, so he helped her with her homework. Callum’s dad left when he was young, he was too young to understand what really went down, but Y/n’s dad was disappointed in his ex- best friend. He made it a personal mission to be a father figure to Callum. Y/n’s dad had been there for Callum the second Rosemary, Callum’s mom, told them that the dad had left.

Y/n always had a thing for Callum, he was good looking, and he was so nice to her. It started to be hard when Callum started dating. Especially when he had his first kiss in front of Y/n at 13. They went to a skatepark with Callum’s friend, he was talking to a much older girl that smoked. When he kissed her, he thought it was disgusting, her breath smelled like cigarette, and it was horrendous. Her heart broke a little that day, even when he told her that the kiss was disgusting, she felt sad. It got worse when Callum started acting, he started to date some of the actresses and the picture were everywhere. Y/n dates a little bit, but she knew she’d never love anyone more than she loved Callum. On his part, Callum tired his hardest to not fall in love with her. She was his best friend, he couldn’t think about her like that, even though he tried, he ended up falling in love with her. By dating the other actress, he tried to forget about her, but deep down, he knew he couldn’t love anyone more than Y/n.

When she went to university, Callum was afraid that she would forget about him and find new friends. But she didn’t. She decided to stay at home instead of living on campus. She studied history, and she wanted to become a historian. He helped her study, and she helped him with the lines he had to learn, when her finals came, Callum stayed up all night to help her study and when she passed her exams, he was the first to jump in her arms, yelling that his best friend is going to be an historian. Now that they both moved to L.A., it was hard to stick with their promise. He started acting more professionally, so he was never at home. Because they were roommates, they lived together, but Callum was always away. He felt bad for always being away, but he was pursuing his carer, so he must make this sacrifice. Their life together was fun, but it had its difficulties, especially when they were both in love with the other…

[siennaditbot]

Sethos x Reader: Mailed Flower

A story built with letters and flowers 🌻✨

Word count ~ 5700, oops xD

Pen pals, sending doodles and gifts, eventual meeting, pining

Masterlist

Greetings! I'm y/n, a florist from Chenyu Vale. I'm writing to inquire about the Akademiya and its courses about biology, specifically botany. I'm interested in enrolling in some classes, but it's a big move, so I wish to know more before committing to the idea.

I'll attach my personal details under this so someone can send me a response. Thank you in advance.

The letter was sent with excitement and hope. It passed through several hands, until it ended up in the hands of someone who lives and breathes botany.

~

Hello. We're happy to hear people from other nations are interested in studying in Sumeru. The Akademiya has all sorts of options for those who wish to learn. The entrance exams are a challenge, however, so we recommend preparing for it well.

Attached to this letter are a select few documents I often use in my teachings. I hope they're of use to you. Do send another letter if you wish to proceed.

~

She eagerly read through the attached documents. The questions weren't very hard, but some of the text took a couple reads.

So, she got comfortable in her study, grabbed some books, and made sure she understood everything.

When she did, she sent a ‘thank you’ letter, politely asking for more documents.

~

“Heyy, Tighnari, the folks directed another letter to you.”

“Ah, thank you.”

“Why don't they deal with this stuff themselves?”

“Master Saphis is often busy, so these more down-to-earth matters are occasionally delegated to me. It can be a bit of a nuisance, but sometimes I'm positively surprised.”

Tighnari accepted the letter from his friend, who ended up as a mail carrier again.

“Oh, it's the same person.”

“Someone with a grudge? No, wait, is it a secret admirer~?”

“Just someone interested in enrolling. I sent some documents over last time, and she's already asking for more.”

“A bunch of nerds, all of you, hehe.”

Tighnari just deadpanned at him, and started gathering more documents to send.

~

By her third letter both Tighnari and the assigned-again mail carrier Sethos recognized her envelope and handwriting. Sethos stopped in front of Tighnari's house and did his usual playful knock.

The response was a barely audible ‘come in’. Sethos stepped in, finding Tighnari bedridden.

“Whoa, are you okay?”

“..Yes, just a bit queasy.”

“Well, that's good, I guess. What happened?”

“Ugh, heatstroke. Collei and I went to get some samples…”

“Glad she was with you, then.”

He waved the letter in his hand.

“Anyway, the same person wrote again. You still haven't scared her off, huh?”

“I haven't sent anything particularly difficult yet. Besides, she seems to find the documents interesting.”

Sethos was about to hand the envelope to Tighnari, but he gestured towards his desk instead.

“I'm in no condition to read or write right now. Mind being my secretary for a minute?”

“What's the hurry? Couldn't it wait until you're feeling better?”

“She's on a roll, hungry and excited to learn. I don't want to make her wait. Besides, I already have some documents ready from my previous lecture.”

“I can't deal with you sometimes”, Sethos huffed, but walked to his desk to sit down to read the letter out loud.

“‘Thank you again, master Tighnari. Your letters and documents have been a great help. I've already gained a completely different kind of appreciation for the flowers I see every day. It's like they're sparkling now that I know more about them.’ Pft, she drew some nice sparkly flowers here.”

“She does little doodles every time. Continue.”

Sethos grinned, cleared his throat dramatically, and continued reading.

“‘We seem to be following a lesson plan, so please send over whatever documents you find most fitting. Kind regards, y/n.’”

“See? She enjoys learning.”

“Heh, apparently.”

“The documents are in the top drawer. I've pinned them together.”

Sethos dug around, and once he confirmed they're the right ones, he folded them into a new envelope.

“I don't usually write back much. Just, I don't know, tell her that it's nice to teach someone who's so enthusiastic, even if remotely.”

“You got it, boss.”

Sethos grinned, and began to write.

Hiya, your usual mail carrier here! Tighnari is currently bedridden - just heatstroke, he'll live - so I'm his secretary for a bit. He wants me to write that “it's fun to teach someone who's so enthusiastic, even if remotely”. We'll try to keep an eye on him, so you just focus on your studies and flower shop, ok?

He tried not to grin mischievously as he drew some sparkly little flowers too, and slid the letter into the envelope.

“You rest now, I'll go drop this off. Okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

And so he did, and went to run to the city, fast on his feet like always.

~

She was surprised to see the little doodles in the usually official-looking letter she got, and it made her smile that someone had noticed and maybe even liked her own doodles.

She did the work as always, went through everything properly, and stopped to do more research if something stumped her.

Eventually she wrote back, putting down her thoughts on the documents and her occasional question. She continued her little drawings, and this time doodled some on the envelope itself, as a little nod to the mail carrier secretary person.

~

Sethos immediately recognized the envelope again when it was handed to him. Seeing the doodles on the cover made him smile in surprise, and he soon ran to Tighnari, as had become a habit by now.

“Knock knock, your long-distance student wrote again.”

“I’m here, come in.”

Sethos stepped in, finding Tighnari at his desk.

“Hiya. What'cha working on?”

“Some assignments for Collei. She has an exam soon, so we're hard at work.”

“Got time to write to our florist friend?”

“To be honest, not right now. Could I ask you to write for me again?”

“Eh, maybe this one time”, Sethos grinned, not really minding the request.

He settled down on Tighnari's bed with paper and a pen, and read her letter first. He asked Tighnari the questions she had written down, and recorded the answers to the best of his ability.

Heyy, I'm playing secretary again! Tighnari didn't really give me anything to write, though, so I'm winging it, heh. He's busy with some assignments for another student of his, so you have to deal with my chicken scratch. Oh, I'm Sethos, by the way. Not actually a mailman, or a secretary, I just do a lot of errands. Anyway, good luck with your studies!

P.S. Your doodles are fun.

He added some sparkly flowers again, and even a cute little rishboland tiger doodle.

He gathered the appropriate documents with Tighnari’s help, and sealed the envelope.

“Your smug expression is making me doubt your professionalism”, Tighnari said, squinting his eyes.

“What? Me? I'm as professional as a non-professional can get”, Sethos just laughed in response.

“I'm doubtful, but you wrote last time too and she replied, so you can't be too bad.”

“See? I've got it, teach.”

~

To no one's surprise, Tighnari wrote the letters from then on.

But, to y/n’s surprise, Sethos started doodling on the envelopes instead. When Tighnari sealed them, he took them back to the city, and did a few tiny doodles on their back before sending them forward.

Then, one day, Sethos was handed two letters instead of one. The usual proper letter for Tighnari, and one that was addressed to him. He chuckled softly and sat down to read it.

Seems like master Tighnari caught you meddling with his professional letters, eh? Haven't heard from you since the tiger doodle.

“Heh, her tiger looks way better than mine.”

We're practically friends by now, and if I'm going to move to Sumeru to enroll properly, it'd be nice to actually know some people beforehand. So. Hi, officially. Sethos, a silly errand runner guy? I'm y/n, florist, Chenyu Vale, Yilong Wharf. Here's a doodle of me.

“Wow, she's good.”

No pressure to reply if you don't want to, you just felt like a friendly person so I decided to be brave and try. As a friendly little offering, I put in some locally made tea and a drawing I did of some fluff-fleece goats we have around here.

Your friend(?), y/n

Sethos smiled softly as he read the letter and studied her drawings. He's definitely going to write back.

He immediately got to work when he got home that evening.

Hello! Heh, yeah, we're friends. I do have an actual job, too, but I just like to run a lot of errands. It's fun. And I get to meet tons of people, as you can see.

I'm friends with Tighnari and his previously mentioned other student as well. Her name is Collei, she's young but very hardworking. Our usual group also has Cyno, the General Mahamatra (a judge/cop I guess?) who seems intimidating but is actually really funny.

I'm from the desert, but I live in the city now. I do like hiking, though, and often end up finding lost or troubled adventurers everywhere. Sumeru is never boring, heh.

I'm not as good at drawing as you, but here's a scribble that's supposed to look like me, hehe.

Your friend(!), Sethos

~

Sethos’ letter was received with a surprised grin. She wasn't sure if he'd write back, after all.

Hi! I visit Fontaine a lot, and get a good view of both the rainforest and desert from up there. The trees are scarily big and the desert is so vast I'd definitely get lost there. There's plenty of pyramids and temples from what I can tell, and I'm super curious about the blue bubbly tree towering over everything! It's really pretty.

I wouldn't call my exploration of Chenyu Vale hiking, but I do walk around a lot. It helps me relax and appreciate the beauty of nature and all that. I also walk to pick up my flowers from several locals who grow them.

I included charms made of clearwater jade for each of you. There's a jewellery merchant in my neighbourhood who makes them. I would like to learn more about what you and your friends like, though, so whenever I'm inspired to send little gifts, they aren't something none of you care about, hehe.

Anyway, until next time!

She did related doodles all over, like the shapes of the biggest temples and the bubbly tree she loves. She then sealed everything and sent it on its way.

~

Hiya! Yeah, the desert is big, and there are temples and ruins everywhere. Lots of people want to go digging for treasures around there, which is why I keep running into half dead adventurers trying not to get buried in sand. I'm still not sure whether it's funny or sad.

The big bubbly tree you're talking about is called “Harvisptokhm”. The area around it is pretty, I do recommend visiting the Vourukasha Oasis sometime if you get the chance. It has its roots (hehe) deep in Teyvat’s history, but that's way too much for a fun little letter like this. The ruins in the desert are also proof of times long gone. It's fascinating.

But, back to the here and now. Tighnari is all about plants, as you know. Collei is often busy, but I think she likes sewing? Cyno… consider this my warning; he's obsessed with Genius Invocation TCG. Do with that info as you will.

They all liked the charms you sent, by the way. Collei and Tighnari prepared some bookmarks for you as thanks. The pressed flowers are a Sumeru rose and a kalpalata lotus. Cyno… sent some starter cards.

As for me… I put in a mourning flower I picked a while back. They grow around the previously mentioned oasis! I'm not too familiar with plants, but these ones are funny to me.

~

Hii!

My studies are going well, even if it's just to prepare for actual classes. Maybe someday soon I'll actually be able to become a real student there, hehe. The questions occasionally stump me, but it's nothing too difficult, so I'm still excited.

I'm planning on visiting Fontaine again soon. I often go to get some Fontainian flowers in my shop, they're so different from all other plants. Some even look like they're made of water!

…hehe, sorry, I'll switch off from nerd mode. So. Do you have other hobbies aside from hiking? I like to go out to watch performances at the local teahouse. We have a Wushou Dance Troupe here, they're fun! I can't really play any music myself, but I do enjoy singing on my walks sometimes, hehe.

The flowers you guys sent were amazing, by the way. Absolutely made my week. And tell Cyno that I'm learning how to play his beloved card game. Emphasis on “learning”...

Anyway, have a nice day! :)

~

Hello hello!

Every time you sound more and more like our local nerds, hehe. You'll fit right in.

Hobbies? I like cooking, it's especially fun when I gotta be creative on my hikes. Sometimes it ends up amazing, other times… barely passable.

We have a theater here for performances as well. One of our friends is a dancer there, we go watch her shows sometimes. She even performed during our Archon’s birthday celebration! You’ll have to visit the theater too sometime.

I do like to entertain myself with a lyre on quiet camping nights, too. The clear starry sky above, campfire crackling, meat grilling and some soft tunes… Ah, there aren't many things better than that.

~

She noticed the stupid, brief tinge of jealousy at the mention of the dancer friend, but immediately stifled it. She barely knows the guy, getting jealous is just insane.

She slapped her cheeks and sat down to respond.

Stars, food, music and a campfire? That does sound perfect. Especially in the desert, I'm assuming. Unobstructed view of the stars, the warm fire when the night starts to get cold…. You're almost making me jealous, hehe.

That was closer to the truth than she'd like, but she left it in anyway. It's not like he’d suspect another meaning for it.

That reminds me of my childhood, actually. Me and my family climbed up to one of the mountains nearby, and we had snacks and tea while seeing the sights in every direction. My parents are enjoying their retirement now and travel as much as they can, and my siblings have their own jobs so I rarely see them either.

Well, that's what growing up does to a person, I'd assume. Not to sound like an old person though, I'm in my mid twenties, I swear, hehe.

~

Family hiking trips? That sounds nice. Now I'm jealous. Hmm, no, desert camp nights are still better, hehe.

My grandfather often took me camping, hunting and exploring. He taught me everything I know, even combat. I'm a force to be reckoned with, you know!

Do you ever need to fight? Chenyu Vale must have its own share of monsters and predators, after all. Sumeru has tigers and fungi, and the occasional treasure hoarder or hilichurl. I do occasionally use my trusty polearm, but I think I prefer my bow. Electro bolts are preeetty nifty in defending oneself, hehe.

He hoped the playful boasting distracted her from the lack of mentioning other family members.

~

As I do walk alone a lot, I have had to learn basic self defence skills. Dendro isn't that useful in combat by itself, but a few swipes of my claymore usually do the trick. I can be a destructive force too if I wish, I'm not just flowers and sparkles either!

(Here's a doodle of my beloved blade.)

Your grandpa sounds nice. My parents taught me a lot, but they were more interested in herbs than flowers, so I've had to do tons of studying growing up. I never knew my grandparents, I think they lived closer to Liyue Harbor.

Oh, I'm finally going to visit Fontaine tomorrow! Another plant run, but I'm gonna go see the magic show I've been hearing a lot about.

Master Tighnari's also been sending tougher assignments, but I guess that means that the exam is getting closer. Wish me luck!

~

Dendro, eh? You'll really be right at home in Sumeru, then. Both Tighnari and Collei also have dendro visions. Me and Cyno wield electro ones. Easy aggravate teams!

I bet your parents’ teachings were useful despite everything. Collei is studying medicinal herbs too, I think. She wants to help others. You'd get along well, I know it.

“She was honest about sad things too, so maybe it's okay for me too. Just a little.”

I can't remember my actual family, I was raised by my adoptive grandfather. I'm not complaining, though, he was wise and kind. And patient - apparently I was a wild kid, heh. I still get comments about being difficult to control to this day.

I've also heard about the magic show, I think. The twins, right? Fontainian tourists often recommend them to locals here. I hope that it was fun!

But yeah, Tighnari mentioned that the entrance exams are approaching, I think he'll talk more about the logistics in his next letter. Good luck!

~

The Fontaine visit was great as always, and the magic show was amazing. I even got a signed card from Lyney - Lynette isn't very big on fan meetups, hehe.

Wild kid, eh? So was I. Climbed trees and kept spooking the goats and people's pets. Oops. I've calmed down, though. Calm as the breeze~

That's me trying to calm myself down by the way. Entrance exams next week, it turns out. I've been cramming to the best of my ability, but running a shop at the same time is tough. But I'm tough too, so I'm managing!

So, apparently I'll be coming to Sumeru next week. There will probably be plenty of others coming for the exams too, but keep an eye out, maybe we'll meet face to face.

Here I come, nation of wisdom!!

~

Sethos was both excited and nervous for her. This exam could mean big changes for her, after all.

Well, he was also excited and slightly nervous to meet her. He has plenty of friends and great social skills, sure, but it's a new thing for him to only know someone via sending letters. They're friends, though, so he's mostly excited.

He did his best to stomp down the nervousness, because it was making him act weird. He couldn't help looking around all day, trying to figure out who matched the doodle she had sent ages ago.

He was just excited to meet his new friend, that's all.

He wasn't wondering at all whether she'd really be just as fun, nice and spunky as she seemed.

Turning around to look at another group walking past him, he forcefully turned his soft smile into his usual friendly grin, and exchanged polite greetings with them.

~

Eventually, when the test was finally over and she could relax, she started walking around town to look for her friends. It didn't take long for her to be stopped by a young guy with big canine ears and a tail.

“Hi there. You're one of those who came in for entrance exams today, right?”

“Y-yes, I am.”

“My friends and I are looking for a particular student, and you seem to match the description I got. Would you happen to be y/n?”

She was stunned, and grinned excitedly.

“Yes! That's me!”

“Good, I thought so. Come on, let's go find the others. I'm Tighnari, by the way.”

“Master Tighnari? It's so nice to meet you! Thanks for all your help, I've learned so much!”

“It's nothing big, really. But I'm glad you're enjoying learning more about botany.”

They continued their nerdy but friendly chatting as they walked around the city. They ran into Collei, who was speaking to - and apparently trying to escape from - a twin tailed lady. Tighnari exchanged a few polite words with her, and when she finally left, he introduced y/n to Collei.

“I-I've been wanting to meet you! We're practically classmates, after all”, Collei smiled softly.

“Heh, yeah. Me too. I've heard so much about you guys, it's great to finally have faces for the names!”

She couldn't help looking around for the other two people she knew. Well, maybe she was a little more excited to meet one than the other, but still. She was grinning.

“I have an idea where Cyno might be at this time of day”, Tighnari sighed, and led the way to what seemed to be a cozy café.

On their way down the ramps, however, they heard someone running down to catch up with them.

“Tighnari, wait! Have you seen-”

The steps slowed down and soon stopped. The group turned around.

“Seems you have”, Sethos grinned widely, eyes immediately finding y/n’s as he approached the trio. He turned to her. “Would you happen to be my nerdy florist pen pal?”

“You certainly look like the one drawing I was provided of my pen pal. Messy hair and all”, she replied, immediately smitten with his beautiful green eyes.

“And you look exactly like your cute little doodle.”

She laughed softly and held out her hand, still looking into his eyes. He really liked her smile already, and happily shook her hand. It was soft compared to his slightly calloused one.

“Nice to finally meet you, Sethos. I'm y/n.”

He did his best to hide how his smile threatened to widen.

“Welcome to Sumeru city. We've been waiting for you.”

The other two pairs of eyes watched them with amused smiles.

“One more to go, then. If we have any luck, he won't make us play Genius Invocation when we find him”, Tighnari sighed.

They weren't lucky, but at least they had cafè goods to ease the pain.

~

When the first reds and oranges of the sunset started to paint the sky, it was time for y/n to start heading back home for the night.

“It's been amazing to meet you guys, but I have to go”, she smiled sadly.

“We can definitely fit in one more game”, Cyno tried to protest. She had been the weakest denier, so she ended up playing several games with him. It was certainly a way to relax and make friends, at least.

“I really should go, I want to walk while it's still somewhat light out. Sorry, Cyno. I promise to play more next time.”

She then turned to Tighnari.

“When will I know the results of the exam?”

“Within two weeks, I'd say.”

“You know your stuff, you'll definitely get in!” Sethos nudged her, and Collei echoed his words as well.

“Yeah, you got it!”

“Hehe, I sure hope so. Sumeru is amazing, I can already imagine living here.”

She then gathered her things and got up.

“I'll see and hear from you guys again, no matter the results, okay?”

“Of course. We're friends now”, Tighnari replied, and the others nodded.

“Bye for now, then. I'll miss your faces!” she laughed, made eye contact with Sethos specifically, and finally headed out with friendly waves from both parties.

When she was gone, everyone turned to Sethos. He just crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back in his seat.

“Told you she was nice.”

“She was”, Tighnari nodded.

A moment of silence.

“You can walk with her to Vayuda Harbor, you know. We won't make a big deal about it”, Tighnari sighed and leaned forward to rest his chin on his hand. “I'm pretty sure she wanted you to, anyway.”

Sethos looked at his friends, and couldn't help the heat rising on his cheeks when he saw the hint of smugness on Cyno's usually expressionless face.

“It’s only polite to walk your new friend to the harbor”, Collei added, trying to make the situation less awkward.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going”, Sethos finally agreed, exhaling heavily to cover his eagerness to run after her. He excused himself swiftly, and dashed after her once he was outside.

~

She sighed sadly as she hoisted her bag on better and headed towards the back gate of the city. She was going to miss her new friends. Well, she already did.

When she heard the quickly approaching steps behind her, she couldn't help but turn around with hopeful eyes. Sethos easily caught up with her, immediately more awkward than he thought he'd be.

“I.. thought I should walk you to the harbor. The path isn't very clear and all that”, he tried to explain himself.

“Aw, thanks. It's been a while since I've walked with someone, so it was difficult to ask, hehe.”

Sethos pocketed his hands, and led the way, his smile now undoubtedly wider than usual.

“So. How'd you like the gang?”

“You had described them perfectly. Can't wait to meet them again.”

“Just them?” Sethos found himself saying.

“Eh, I could tolerate seeing your face again too, I guess”, she grinned back.

“Yours is very tolerable too, I suppose.”

He was surprised by his own words. Was he flirting??

Slightly flushed, he cleared his throat and directed the conversation elsewhere.

“Did you run into any trouble on your way here from the harbor?”

“There were a lot of others walking, too, so not really. I did notice a group of cute little mushroom guys at a distance, but nothing happened.”

“That's good, then. But you could have defended yourself, of course.”

“Of course.”

She materialised her claymore in her hands and dramatically held it towards him.

“Very dangerous indeed”, he chuckled, and held the tip of the blade to look at it up close. “It's very nice. Where did you get it?”

“My parents brought it for me from the Windblume festival in Mondstadt a few years ago.”

“That’s sweet.”

He took out his beloved bow, and held it towards her.

“I got this from my grandfather. I'm not sure whether he made it, found it or bought it, but I still treasure it.”

She ran her fingers along the bow, studying the design.

“It's really cool. Can I try shooting?”

“Sure, now I wanna see that”, he shrugged playfully and handed her the bow and an arrow.

With little effort, she drew back the string, and aimed at a log nearby. She was strong, but not good at aiming, so the arrow flew into the ground nearby instead.

Still, Sethos was impressed.

“A little practice with aiming and you'll become an archer yet!” he grinned and walked out to pick up the arrow. He also took the chance to force himself to look away from her for a moment.

She was nice, fun, smart AND strong?

He'll be in trouble at this rate.

“Would you like to try my claymore?” she chuckled and held the blade out to him. He shrugged and took it, testing its weight in his grip.

“It's a quality blade for sure.”

He did a few swings, certain that it could cause serious damage.

“I prefer moving swiftly, which is difficult with a heavy weapon, but you'll definitely be able to protect yourself with this.”

“Hehe, yup. I'm not super fast anyway, so I'll make up with strength. I carry a lot of flower boxes for long distances, you know.”

She playfully brought her arms up to flex them for a moment, but relaxed once Sethos handed her claymore back to her.

“You're a very interesting person, you know”, Sethos grinned.

“Right back at you, buddy. You seem like a people person, but still somehow mysterious. I dunno.”

“Guess we gotta continue getting along to uncover each other’s secrets, huh?”

“Eh, doesn't sound too bad”, she chuckled.

They walked in silence for a moment, both looking around with content smiles. When she knelt down to look at some flowers, he couldn't help but admire her. Her eyes sparkled, her smile was warm as ever, and he wanted to run his fingers through her soft, shiny hair, maybe even style and braid it…

“This one is really pretty. A Padisarah… right?”

He jumped when she spoke up, immediately looking anywhere but at her.

“Y-yeah, I think so.”

He awkwardly scratched the back of his head as he forced himself to look at the flower and answer properly.

“It is. It can be used to make Padisarah Pudding, heh.”

Her expression brightened even more. Archons, he was in trouble.

“I gotta try that next time then!”

She looked at the flower for a while longer, and eventually stood back up.

“Had to nerd out for a moment. I'm back now.”

“I'm used to being around plant nerds at this point, you know. No need to apologize.”

She chuckled softly in response.

“Heh, thanks. I'll try my best not to drown you in botany jargon, anyway.”

“I am beyond grateful”, he joked, but wouldn't mind seeing and hearing more of her nerdiness. It was cute.

Some time later Sethos stopped walking, noticing something moving somewhere close by. She stopped too, confused and immediately on edge.

“What is it?” she whispered.

He carefully looked around them, eventually determining where the sounds came from. He immediately relaxed.

“Just a rishboland tiger. It's keeping watch, but doesn't seem ready to pounce.”

She followed his gaze and found the tiger. Sethos gestured for her to continue walking so they'd leave the beast be.

“They're cuter than I thought they'd be. Also somehow they look like you.”

“That sounds like a compliment, so thank you, but how, exactly?”

“I dunno. The eyes, maybe? Something in the vibes or colors? I have no idea, actually.”

“Well, I'll take that, anyway”, he chuckled softly, slightly flushed at her odd yet kind words.

“Are they dangerous?”

“They’re very territorial so they do sometimes jump down from their hiding spots to ambush people, but they aren't that bad if you're quick enough or know how to defend yourself.”

“Wow. Gotta keep my eyes open when walking, then.”

“That's always good.”

Eventually they started approaching the harbor. It had taken a good while, but it was still too soon.

She turned to look at him.

“Thanks for walking with me, Sethos. You didn't have to do that.”

“It's nothing, really. And, well, I wanted to, anyway.”

His face gained color for the hundredth time that day, but so did hers.

“You're so sweet. I'm glad we met, hehe.”

“..Yeah. Me too. You're great company.”

“Aw, thanks. You're making me blush”, she practically giggled.

He unconsciously brought his hand up to scratch his face.

“Right back at you…”

A moment of awkward, but happy silence.

“Ah, the boat looks like it's gonna leave soon.”

“True, you should hurry.”

She didn't move at all.

“I'm gonna miss you guys.”

“We'll miss you too, but you're definitely getting accepted into the Akademiya. We'll be seeing you again very soon, I know it!”

“Heh, you're the best.”

She tentatively held her hands out, asking for a hug. He happily complied to her request, not able to ignore the way the contact made his chest tighten, even if the hug was very brief.

“Now go, or you'll miss your boat. We'll be here, waiting for you.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you soon, Sethos.”

“...Yeah. See you soon.”

They waved goodbye, and went their separate ways for now.

~

Some time and a few letters later, the exam results came out.

She was accepted.

It didn't take her long to delegate her shop to a worthy successor, pack her things, and move over to the dorms in the city.

Her new friend group was already waiting in the harbor to help carry her things. The move went smoothly, thanks to them.

Sethos’ enjoyment of running errands was obvious now that she saw him in action. She was just doing her own things, but kept running into him everywhere, and always stopped to exchange a few words.

Everyone could see how much they enjoyed chatting. Tighnari, Cyno and Collei had front row seats, but kept their teasing to a minimum. Usually.

With time the group grew closer, and the two especially so. Now that they weren't limited by distance, they hung out a lot, and casual physical contact became a normal thing for them. A bit gross, sometimes even sickeningly so, yet still somehow cute. Hair ruffles, nudges, pokes…

Sethos’ wish to style her hair also came true, and it was just as soft as he had imagined. She was very happy with the result, too, so he could definitely do it again. As soon and as often as possible, really.

~

One day - to no one's surprise, really - he stopped her for a chat, and handed her a familiar looking envelope.

“We don't need letters anymore, do we?” she grinned, but accepted it nevertheless. “Want me to open it now or later?”

“...Now, preferably.”

She nodded, and excitedly opened the envelope. The only thing inside was a pressed rainbow rose bookmark.

“Aww, thank you, Sethos, I love it! Where'd you even get this? They only grow in Fontaine”, she gasped, marveling at the colorful flower.

“I had to pull a few strings, heh. But it had to be this one.”

She carefully studied the bookmark. It was truly beautiful, and she'd definitely treasure it. She was grinning happily, until she looked back at him.

He was looking at her, more nervous than she'd ever seen him. His eyes flicked back down to the bookmark, and then up at her.

Then it clicked.

“Have you, possibly, maybe, been looking into flower languages or something?” she asked shyly, almost whispering.

“Yes”, he replied simply.

“..Is this what I think it is?”

“..Yes.”

“..Are you sure?”

“..Rainbow roses represent passion and.. romantic encounters, so… Yes.”

She turned the bookmark in her hands, shy but impossibly happy. She then took a book from her bag, carefully placed the bookmark inside it, put it back, and reached for his hands.

“That was such a sweet yet cheesy move.”

“I've been working on this for a good while, you know. But it was worth it.”

A tender and blissful moment of silence.

“Heh. I never knew falling in love could be so easy”, she smiled, blindingly bright.

He brought their joined hands up and tentatively planted a gentle kiss on her knuckles. He couldn't stop the stupid grin and soft flush rising on his face.

“Me neither. Yet here we are.”

“Here we are, indeed.”

[lawva-girl]

Historically.. We don't mix.

Law x fem!Reader, College AU

Notes: the things that don't mix are history and stem majors!!! this came to me in a dream forever ago and ive been sitting on it since. This is only part one to... idk how many but yes! I have a loose outline, we can bet on 5 parts but thats a scary bet to make methinks. Enjoy :) also i apologize if the pov switching in the first bit is weird, i thought i was cooking and i kinda think its cute now so it is.

WC: 1976

The classroom was quiet, you were the only one there. Class officially started in 4 minutes. Right as you pulled out your phone to double check the room another person walked in. You assumed she was a student since she was about your age, at least she looked it. When the woman instead walked to the front of the class you realized she was the professor. Shoulder length black hair, with bangs trimmed right to her eyebrows. Wearing a white cowboy hat, which you thought was peculiar. 

She removed the hat and set it on the desk, resting her bag in the seat. 

She wrote on the board “Robin, overview of women in war” then she leaned against the desk and pulled out her phone.

You looked back at yours, 11:18. Two minutes until class began, and there was now roughly 15 people in the room. You sat in the second row back from the front, and you noticed only one person in the front row. He had a weird beanie on, dark hair, and pierced ears. You tried not to stare, since you knew he could glance back at any second.

“Okay everyone, I am Nico Robin. I’m your professor.” She smiled for the class, and continued, “this class should be very exciting, we get to learn about women like Joan of arc, who really was a delusional farm girl, and Molly Pitcher, a women who fought in the American revolution. The syllabus is online, you will need books by next class. The student store has them for 15 dollars, I won’t take any excuses.” 

The professor paused, then opened her bag and pulled out the book, “it looks like this. It’s a small booklet of primary sources, mostly text and images, that we will take a deep dive into. Your grade this semester will be 40 percent exams, 25 percent homework, and finally 35 percent participation. Yes it is a lot, this class is modeled after my time researching, you cannot be a historian or teacher without being able to work as a group and communicate. I know it’s a challenge but try your best.”

A beat.

Law felt sick. He was not a talker, especially to people who were history majors. The men were always blood hungry, the women always poetic. This class would be rough, but if he could find one person bearable enough it might be okay. Sitting in the front seat, he couldn’t glance around to see his peers. While the professor was going on about the school's mandatory syllabus information, he took a quick look behind him, as if checking the clock. 

No one was paying attention, and he glanced quickly around the class. There was only one person who looked back at him, meeting his eyes. Of course they looked away immediately, and so did he.

The professor finally finished and gave the students time to “meet their neighbors”. Law turned and found the one student who made eye contact with him. 

“I’m Trafalgar Law, I’m a double major in history and biology.” He stated right to the girl, with no excitement in his voice, tone steady.

“My name is Dracule y/n, I’m a history major, and you are insane, Trafalgar.” She had a bit of sarcasm in her tone, which he took offense to. She was the fifth person to tell him that today.

“I’m not insane, I just like history and I want to be a doctor.” 

“That’s cool I guess, I’ve never met a stem major I liked though. You guys are all so “history is just memorization and dates”, I can’t stand talking to ‘em.” 

Law looked back at her and thought ‘I have never met a history major I liked either’. He decided on saying, “If you ask me historians are basically philosophers, you just think all day and pretend like the world changed.” 

She made an obvious frown, putting her hands onto the table with a bit too much force. “Huh?!”

“History majors have two options, teach or research, both are dead end jobs that don’t help people. It’s simple.” He stated nonchalantly, like it was crazy to major in history. 

“Well life isn’t all about jobs and helping people. It’s about living?” She looked him dead in the eyes before finishing with, “it’s not like the world collapses when doctors aren’t around.” 

“Well it was nice talking, but I’m gonna chat to my other neighbors.” He said with a huff, he didn’t have to talk to you at all, in fact he hoped he wouldn’t have to again. 

After about 10 more minutes, professor Robin spoke up again, “okay okay, since we don’t have textbooks yet I decided to make a fun assignment. I’m giving you your first and last handouts, you will need to fill them out before next class. Other than that, please look at the canvas page. Read over the syllabus and take my obligatory syllabus quiz. You are now free from this class.” 

You walked out into the hall, and booked it to the student store. You told your only friend and sister, Perona, that you would meet her there.

Law, coincidentally, told Bepo the same thing. Bepo was his only friend, having grown up with the white haired bear. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only 10 minutes after class had dismissed you arrived at the store, already spotting Perona’s pink pigtails. 

“perona!” You whisper-screamed in her ear, trying to scare her. 

“Ahhh y/n”, she sighed, clearly unaffected, “you know you’ll never scare me. Anyways, what is my cute depressed friend doing on Friday?” 

You and her walked into the store, “studying... So I’m busy.” Giving her a quick smile before you two settled in the textbook section. 

“You are so coming with me then! I’m going to the mall that’s next to campus, I’m already so bored of our dorm room decorations. If we go to 5below I can get way cuter stuff for us! You need to come since it’s your dorm too, so I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Perona you have really good taste in stuff, you should be fine on your own!” You put some enthusiasm behind your voice, to encourage her. 

She frowned back at you, not buying into your typical antics. “If you don’t come then you won’t be leaving all weekend! You need to go outside y/n!” 

“Perona!? Hi!” A voice from behind you called out to her, causing you to turn instantly. 

“Bepo! What a coincidence! Do you have a picture of the textbook we need for thermodynamics?” Perona said, already stepping towards the bear.

“Of course! I have to be studious this year!” 

The two of them found the text book, it costed a whopping $300 dollars, and was written by their professor. 

“We can share, right Bepo? That way it’s only 150 dollars?” The both of them had a cloud over their heads as you watched the sad situation unfold. Peronas face was for sure one of desperation.

“Wait is there a digital version? It’s usually cheaper.” You suggested, reaching to pull out the info card. 

“Bepo! I’ve been looking.” Whoever said that sounded quite angry, and familiar?

“I’m sorry Law! I saw my classmate and got excited… sorry” Bepo turned to face the man. 

“You couldn’t have texted? just once?” Law replied, only just then looking at the two people who were with Bepo.

“Great this guy again.” You said with sarcasm dripping from your voice and turned to Perona, “we should leave, he hates me.” 

“I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you.” Law said, pinching his nose.

“Whatever, do you have Bepo’s number Rona?” Calling her by her self appointed nickname always made her happy, right now you were hoping it would get her to leave with you to the history section. 

“I don’t actually! Bepo! Here, put your number in!” She said with a smile, being way more friendly than usual. “I’m Perona by the way, how do you know my friend y/n?” 

It was a simple question but the way he answered really bugged you, rattling off a “we have a class together”. He was looking down at his phone and didn’t even bother to look up when he answered. Hell he didn’t even bother to introduce himself! 

“His name is Trafalgar by the way, we have women in war together.” You had a straight face, conveying how much it bothered you well.

“Awww how wonderful!” Perona had an enthusiastic tone but looked at you with a smirk like no other. “Would you be her friend? I’m the only one she has right now!” 

You cursed your friend and her constant medling. She loved to stir the pot, and when you got upset she would always say “you are so cute when you’re mad though!” With her words to Law, he finally looked up. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but was instantly interrupted. 

“He only had one friend too!” Bepo handed back Perona’s phone, “it’s me!” He said with a big smile.

“He seems like he would have no trouble! My y/n is super awkward and shy!” Perona practically ignored you, as you had started to form words before she interrupted you.

“No no! He’s pretty judgmental so a lot of people stay away from him, he also thinks he’s smarter than everyone!” Bepo replied back, as if they were two parents gossiping about their kids.

“She thinks the same! Maybe they could be friends?” Perona and Bepo look at you and Law.

“I am smarter!” Both you and law said in unison. Immediately looking at each other with frustration.

“Don’t say what I say!” You said to law.

“How would I know what you were going to say? Do you even think?” Law argued back.

“Of course I do! Do you?” You couldn’t think of anything better… 

“Good one. Bepo we’re leaving.”

“Rona we are leaving too! At least I don’t constantly speak in contractions…”

Law turned his head so you would hear, “you just said one too!” 

You and Perona had already turned the corner, you quickly led her to the history section. You spared her no look, you figured you would talk about it once the two of you got back to the dorm. Once you reached the history section, you squatted down in front of the book you needed and saw there were 3 left. Grabbing one then standing. Just as you were about to go pay for the book, you heard him again.

“Are you following me Dracule? Typical.” He said, with a touch of sarcasm. 

“Typical? We both know you don’t have anyone interested enough to follow you. Also, are you even thinking? We are in the same class so of course we would both need the same book.” 

“Whatever, I’m getting my book and leaving.” He quickly bent over, grabbed a copy and was gone.

“No comeback!?” You said, just a bit too loud. You wanted him to hear you, so that he knew you knew he couldn’t come up with anything. Feeling a bit triumphant you turned to Perona, who was standing behind you with a smile. 

“What now?” 

“He’s cute y/n!”

“No chance. He’s mean, and a biology major!” 

She scoffed, “there is always an exception to the rule! Like me!” 

“Yes Rona, an exception. A single exception. There can’t be two exceptions.” 

“Anything could happen! Plus if me and Bepo end up sharing a book you might be forced into hanging out with all of us! Who knows, maybe they also share a dorm!” 

You sigh and look at her, she looks so happy at the prospect that you might have a friend, especially one that’s a guy. You settled, your good side winning out. “Fine. I’ll be open to it. Only if he is nicer.” 

[pastryiee]

GUIDE TO SCHOOL

Hii! It’s me Kia, and today I’ll be giving you a run down on how I’m improving in school! For context : I’ve always struggled a bit with school but recently I’ve been getting much better at it, I have ADHD which makes it harder to pay attention, but I’ve improved, and here’s how I did it!

Remember : you’re doing this for your future self, you can do this!! Make yourself proud, do something great! You don’t need to study every single day for hours on end, studying can be 15-20 minutes, or however long you want it to be!

Basics overall instructions : minimize your distractions! Keep your phone in another room when studying, get an app that locks your social media apps until a certain time, and turn off your notifications, have a cozy study spot, choose calm peaceful music without lyrics! Active learning is better than passive learning, but mixing them both together is chefs kiss, one day do passive learning, and the next active learning, put what you’re reading into action!! Don’t just let it sit in your head. Practice! Like I said, active learning is amazing! you can practice anywhere, in the line for your coffee, grab your flashcards and do em! Just like that you’ll do the 30 minutes of flashcards you wanted to! Take a look at mock exams and try doing those! Take notes in an organized matter, that makes sense to you!! Explain the material in words that make sense to you. Don’t cram the night before a test, you won’t remember most of it, instead study days in advance, and the night before the test, review the subject!! but most importantly.. listen to your teachers!! Try to pay attention in class, what I do to help me with my ADHD is get a piece of paper, a pen, and scribble on it while my teacher talks, or I use a squishie, or a putty! Something to get me preoccupied as I try to listen to the teachers.

Note taking : when taking notes first do them quickly in class, just try to get all the information word for word. Then, rewrite them: make it more organized, highlight the important parts, add an example, brief and more simplified summary.

Study methods I personally love : My favorite method for English is the 3-2-1 recall method, read it 3x, say it out loud 2x, and write it on paper 1x. Active recall I use flash cards, or I either ask my friends to make random questions on the subject/material I’m learning, and if they’re not there? I ask ChatGPT this prompt “Please create flash cards and quiz questions for me on __”. Feynman method explain the subject as if you were talking to a fifth grade, simplifying it! Blurting, quickly read over your textbook or study guide, and write down as much as you can remember then reopen the textbook/study guide and compare what you wrote on your notebook, to the text in the textbook/study guide!

Math : this subject wasn’t exactly my strong suit, but what I did to make my life easier is relearn everything I learned in middle school-elementary school, yes everything, even addition and subtraction. By doing that I’ve gotten a better understanding, and grasp on what I’m doing now in algebra, luckily for me I have a friend whom is a tutor, and she often offers to tutor me every now and then! Then I’d apply what I learned irl, usually to figure out how much my total or what the discount would be if I’m at.. Sephora or any other store, I would whip out my trusty calculator, but instead I started calculating it myself, active learning(Reading then engaging in the subject and practicing the subject) is better than passive learning(only reading the things you’re learning), math is a subject you have to pay attention to and practice, use IXL or ask your friends to come up with random equations for you, and practice doing those daily!

English : I’d say this is a fairly easy subject, but due to it being easy I’d underestimate it, and the projects assigned, “oh I’ll just do this “Later tonight..” and that’s how I ended up with 10 missing assignments and an F. So my advice for getting better at English? Stay on top of your work, don’t underestimate it! What I did to improve this English procrastination was call my friend for 45 minutes, and we’d do a “silent study”, in the silent study we’d both shut up, and work on our homework, and if we needed help or feedback we’d do a quick wave to each other. Now for improving in writing etc.. is because of a tip I got from an older friend, she told me to write essays on things I like! Likeee.. I’d write an essay on the Percy Jackson series after I’d finish a book, a summary on what happened, how it made me feel.. etc, on the topic of books, reading can also help you heavily improve in English.

Science : to improve in science I make acronyms, lots and lots of acronyms to help with my memorization, an example: “Ricky is left handed” for reactants are on the left. Similar to science I went all the way back to the basics, and relearned them. I started with grasping the core concepts (Laws of motion, atomic structure etc..), then I’d relate this to real life, photosynthesis in plants, gravity affecting objects etc..

Sorry if this is bootycheeks I’m half asleep