#i wrote a fucking essay and for what
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hey I think I know why old people are insincere assholes the essay
Yknow when you're trying to connect to someone from an older generation, and they gloss over your attempts at genuine connection?
Like when a family member got you a gift that really meant something to you, but when you try to express your genuine gratitude, it seems like they don't really give a shit?
Or maybe you open up and share something personal with an older coworker or family friend along with some advice on a concern that you've been actively worrying about for them, but they don't acknowledge it or even act like they heard you at all?
Something clicked for me today, and now I think it's bigger than Poppop's Just An Asshole Sometimes.
I think there's been a huge shift in western culture around authenticity and genuine expression in the past two decades or so - the way we as a society and culture view it, express it, present it, and respond to it - that's causing minor intergenerational conflicts in our personal lives, but more importantly, major conflicts in our shared public spaces.
Hear me out.
1. Authenticity Then VS Now
2. Authenticity Becomes A Privilege And No One Tells The Boomers
3. Boomer-Meta and Why It Matters
1. Authenticity Then Vs Now
If you're on tumblr you probably understand nuance -
- so I think the concept of "authenticity" meaning something different to Boomers than it does to Millennials or Gen Z isn't baffling to you. it probably feels really familiar.
If you went to a US school in the 2000's, you probably remember the DARE program and anti-smoking and anti-drug ads on TV. And if you don't, you probably already have an idea of what I'm talking about. Things made by adults that felt embarrassingly out of touch to the children they were designed for.
As we all know, these all flopped immediately yet lasted the whole decade. (flopped except for the anti-smoking ads which I'll come back to) In retrospect, these marketing attempts says a lot more about the generation of adults responsible for them.
Things like the DARE program were, pretty transparently, designed to resemble what boomers remembered was "cool and interesting" from their own childhoods. My favorite example is Yello Dino and his video on "Tricky People" that's a painfully obvious homage to Fonzie from Happy Days crossed with Barney that's just as painful to watch.
youtube
Watch from 8:03-15:30 or so to see Yello Dino appear and sing a stranger danger song with the Local Kids™.
It's easy to look at this kind of thing and the DARE program and say "of course kids didn't fall for any of this, it's so poorly made; blatantly trying to sell an idea;" etc. But I think the core issue is authenticity.
Remember the anti-smoking ads? Those worked in the end because they featured people who looked like people we knew in person, with real problems from actions they really regretted. And that stuck.
But the Boomer "How Do You Do Fellow Kids" bullshit was never grounded in reality.
The approach they were trying to replicate only worked back in the boomers childhoods because everyone was seen as being genuine by default.
People in real life told the truth unless proven otherwise. Comedians on TV said things to make the audience present laugh. Singers appeared on TV so you could see them as well as hear them. People in ads were selling you a product.
Actors acted like their characters to portray that character "genuinely".
Why would they lie? Their job is to be that character. If they say they like Big Coffee Brand™, you might laugh as it's obviously an ad,
but you also then believed that to be true.
No, really. The section on Fonzie's wiki page bout Henry Winkler's involvement in social issues, titled "Civic Involvement," reads like a social commentary in a dystopian horror. There's little to no distinction between the character and the actor. Henry Winkler is Fonzie, and Fonzie is Henry Winkler.
So if you wanna be like Fonzie, you wanna be like Henry Winkler. You wanna smoke and drink and say what Henry Winkler does, because that's what Fonzie does.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Now, flash forward to the 2000's.
The police officers doing DARE were (mostly) never thrilled to be there. The anti-weed ads were so exaggerated that they seemed cartoony. Hell, some of them were cartoons, just unfunny ones. And most importantly, we were taught from a very young age that everyone is always lying.
"Never reveal personal information about yourself to strangers or online to protect yourself" turns into "Everyone is lying to you to get something from you" really, really fast.
People in real life aren't to be believed until they can prove what they say is true. Comedians on TV say things to keep themselves relevant and in the rumor mill. Singers appear on TV to sell concert tickets and promote albums. Ads use social issues that affect real people as marketing. Actors are people who are pretty and pretend to be other people in a way that's never convincing, but sometimes if they're feeling generous they'll let you know what they really think and feel.
So, why would anyone tell the truth?
Why should you?
2) Authenticity Becomes A Privilege And No One Tells Boomers
(Thank you for reading this far and I promise I'm don't with the edgy "everything sucks" poetry now)
So now we've all grown up into jaded adults who've been taught to not trust but to strive to "be your unique self" and that creates some weird social dichotomies.
If you want to be truly happy, you must accept yourself and do what you want to do.
....but then you risk being seen as a cringey fuck that gets laughed at on Facebook by your highschool classmates and all of your previous bosses.
All jokes aside, modern society prioritizes a readied public face now more than ever, and that's really exemplified in the Internet celebrity experience. Taking a mild stance on anything generates tabloids attention, and doing something the public frowns upon can ruin a person's career permanently. you're on tumblr, this isn't news to you. you get what I mean.
This consequently makes moments of genuine emotion and expression from these celebrities inherently risky - and thus, a much more rare occurrence. Moments of streamers getting scared by spiders or cockroaches blow up constantly because, I mean yeah sure it's funny, but it's also really REALLY difficult to stage a believable reaction to something like that. And that carnal reaction draws out the desire for connection in all of us. That moment of unfiltered response feels special - a brief glimpse behind the curtain.
And celebrities online know it too. Apology videos, let's plays, streaming - all of this media has a built in sense of authenticity that is vital to making it work. Authenticity is a premium social currency in this space, and that bleeds into our everyday lives as well.
If the most badass and brave thing your idols can do is to be sincere, then eventually, you'll probably feel that way too. It makes sense - sincerity is vulnerable. Choosing to be deliberately honest and emotional when you have no expectation to be is a powerful thing. At least, to most of us it is.
While this is all happening, there's an entire generation of people who are still experiencing the world like when happy days was airing.
Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Rachel Ray.......whatever other bullshit they put on TV, all of it begins to make more sense when you focus on their target audience - the middle aged and elderly.
Yes, really. Think of who you know in real life who absolutely loved The Big Bang Theory.
I mean, come on. This image makes me sad, dude.
Humor me for a moment. let's just run with my theory and say middle-aged and older people are all walking around as if everyone is always telling the truth to them.
Is it really that surprising that Dr. Oz was/is?? as successful as he was? As it turns out, believing everything to be true until proven otherwise is incredibly dangerous when applied to medical practice!
While we were growing up, the middle aged and elderly were spending their time being constantly self-absorbed and, just, unapologetically themselves. Which doesn't sound bad in theory, but it's really not as straightforward as it sounds.
3. Boomer-Meta And Why It Matters
So boomers are gullible. the sky is blue. why should you care
The point to all this is that authenticity is very important to modern society, and the difference of what authenticity means and how it's expressed matter drastically when understanding each other is vital.
Boomers were raised to always be genuine. If one believes themself to always be truthful, that lends to forming a bias in their own favor. And breaking the mentality down further, "I always say what I mean and I mean what I say" implies that what was said is what is true. And further, someone changing their "story" is an indicator of deception.
I've met plenty of older generation people who act like sharing their opinion is a gift in and of itself i.e. unwarranted comments on cooking or food, interjected advice about the conversation subject. Similarly, questions about the validity of a statement seem to often be taken as questioning ones morals.
This personal bias is very apparent in interpersonal situations. An attempt to be more genuine with someone who thinks this way would come across as staged and more insincere, and conversely, speaking with a clear bias appears superficial and ignorant.
But the real conflict is how this affects our news and politics. A core misunderstanding of what sincerity is and what it looks like, from either side, is dooms any conversation before it ever begins.
The lack of literacy in each other's values adds so much unnecessary conflict into already divisive matters. The stagnation in the legal progress of important social issues is probably worsened with so many of the US lawmakers being elderly themselves.
I don't have a great way to end this thing, but thanks for reading my weird essay.
The slow realization that a misunderstanding could be at the center of most major political conflict in the US consumed me for like 12 hours today and I appreciate you taking time to read my ramblings.
#i wrote a fucking essay and for what#ugh#i hope this was worth...anything to someone#i have NO idea how to tag this bro#long#generational conflict#baby boomers#millennials#gen z#zillenial#idk#Youtube
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on a real note that bit near the end of the video was genuinely haunting. hearing somerton talk about how gay writers are erased from history was one thing (with all the irony being that he stepped on the backs of numerous underpaid, underprivileged and uncredited queer writers to build his youtube channel) but when h revealed it wasn't even somerton's quote in the first place? the worst, most crushing sort of irony. how do you lament about the erasure of gay people and gay writers in history... whilst erasing a gay writer and taking his words as your own?
#it's genuinely unconscionable and its given me a lot to think about#i found somerton through his video essay on killing stalking#one of my favourite psychological horrors#i was overjoyed to find someone who seemed to recognise it for the dark character study of trauma and abuse that it was#and not a love story#now all i want to do is go back to that video and search up the phrases in google#to see who really wrote those words and phrases that got to me so deeply#fuck man . what a disappointment#james somerton#hbomberguy#veetxt
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don't look away
#project sekai#tsukasa tenma#ruikasa#my art#rui kamishiro#hatsune miku colorful stage#project sekai colorful stage#prosekai#prsk art#kasaverse au#jesterkasa#i just love to drop random drawings of this au for no reason and let people just guess what the fuck is going on#maybe someday i will do a properly text post explaining in full details whats this on here because i wrote an essay on tiktok
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I just realized why lestat marked Tom, like the big stupid idiot I am
(I know everyone else probably already figured this out, but this is MY blog and I get to post whatever deranged thought crosses my pea brained mind.)
When I watched that scene in episode 5 where they're at the bar talking to Tom, I was confused as to why exactly. Why does Lestat mark Tom? If he's marked to kill, why does he wait almost 2 decades later? Well I realized, as all realizations come, in the shower.
Lestat has been planning on killing Tom the whole time.
(Warning before you click read more, this post is a lot longer than I first intended holy fuck)
Well not the whole time. Just right when Louis realized that Anderson and Fenwick had screwed him over. Maybe even longer if he knew it was a trick ("ridiculous of you to mix human and vampire business it always ends poorly"). Notice how he's upset with louis when he kills the guy who's microaggressive with him, cus lestat wasn't there (even if he was there I have my doubts Lestat would understand microaggressions, but he would have definitely killed him for touching Louis.) But tells Louis he's proud of him for killing Alderman. I think this has to be because he witnessed the disrespect first hand. He didn't give a fuck about the money, what he DID care about was that those two disrespected not only him, but Louis.
Even with Lestats little understanding of race relations of the time in America, he did understand hierarchys. He's from 1700s France for God's sake. It's no coincidence wanted to be king of mardi gras. Lestat came to New Orleans and saw himself as the king, even if no one knew it. And he wanted Louis to be his queen. Honestly I could make an entire other post about how Lestat almost literally saw himself as if he was a King and Louis his beloved Queen, which is why he thought it was okay for him to sleep with other women (mistresses and playthings of the king should mean nothing compared to the queen in lestats eyes) but that's getting off topic. I only bring that up because I'm trying to paint a picture of how I think Lestat sees disrespect done to Louis. To him that goes beyond disrespect or rudeness, it's irreverence.
You begin to notice if you watch scenes with them together. Because while I wouldn't say lestat is good at controlling his anger, he's definitely great at concealing it until it erupts (props to Sam Reid have to be given here) lestat is always on the verge of fury when talking to Tom. It starts as a distaste then as he begins to fall more in love with Louis and become more protective of him, his anger builds. Claudia was wrong about one thing, it was no petty slight that was the reason Lestat killed Tom first, it was a loooonng time coming.
I could list every detail I think supports this but I'm sure you get the gist by now. My main point is really the layer of complexity this adds to not only the story, the characters, but also lestat and louis' relationship. Consider it for a second, Lestat saw all his violence as justified, everything he did one can see it through the lense of him punishing the disrespectful (take a shot every time I say disrespect in this post jesus christ). "I bring death to those deserving" indeed. Lestat has a god complex out the wazoo, and every attack, torture, and death he caused was righteous to him and thus enjoyable. Louis on the other hand didn't see himself so highly. He may seem confident but if you look through the cracks it's apparent Louis's self worth in near nonexistent and he's horribly insecure. I think lestat thought when Louis was made a vampire he would see himself as Lestat saw himself, and as Lestat saw Louis. But again, another post for another time.
Despite Louis' insecurities (or perhaps because of them) louis revels in the violence lestat commits for his sake. That's probably why louis is so quick to forgive lestat about the priests. For a brief moment Lestat truly said the truth to Louis and Louis could forgive him because of it. As lestat says, he doesn't kill the priests to intimidate Louis, nor does he do it just because he enjoys it. He does it because he sees them as humiliating Louis, charlatans that don't deserve Louis' sorrow. Louis didn't want the priest's to die, but he could understand why lestat killed them, simply because for once in his goddamn life lestat told the truth, and louis loved that truth. That truth being that lestat killed and mutilated and committed such horrors not just because he liked it, but because he did it out of a fucked up sense of protection. Him killing the priests was essentially a knight killing a dragon to earn the princess' hand in marriage.
The worst part is that Lestat doesn't even realize it. Not fully anyway. Let's be honest with ourselves, lestat doesn't understand Louis. Obviously there's the race, background, culture differences that lestat doesn't understand nor seems inclined to try, but there are better posts about that made by smarter people than moi. I'm mostly talking about lestat doesn't understand louis' mind itself (louis' mind in a vacuum I suppose you could say) he understands Louis' desire for violence sure, but he doesn't understand the core of that want. Honestly I'm on the fence of if he ever understood that Louis loved it when lestat was protective in the first place. I guess it can be dumbed down to Louis wants Lestat to kill to protect Louis and to protect the family (and anyone who deeply disrepects them), lestat perhaps understood a little at one point, but since he sees everyone as a threat and everything is a slight to him, he has no trouble and qualms with delighting in the torture of people Louis views as innocent. Louis' heart is a bit dark, but ultimately human, so he's disgusted by lestats violence towards the undeserving. Lestat can no longer read Louis' mind and even if he could, Louis doesn't quite understand the difference himself (that's why he tries to hunt for criminals briefly) so the cracks of miscommunication starts to form, and neither of them even realize there is miscommunication.
Therein lies the importance of Tom Anderson for season 1. Not much of a character, more of a plot device in human skin. Claudia can see that Lestat hates him, but doesn't understand why, nor does she care to get to the depths of that. (*Mr house voice* understandable) I think it's notable that Louis rarely brought him up, he didn't understand the depths of lestats love. Nor did he know about Lestats 3 decade long grudge, all because Tom disrespected Louis.
Now I'm not excusing Lestat's actions, I just think it's interesting how this one throwaway character reveals a whole level of complexity to the relationship between him and Louis, and better sheds light on not only Lestats personal philosophy but louis' as well. Even Claudia to a degree.
Anyway, uh. End of essay. Bye.
#or im completely wrong#feel free to ratio me if youve gotta a better idea of whats happening#holy fuck this is longer than i meant#whoops wanted to write down some throwaway thoughts and accidentally wrote an essay#happens to the best of us#essay#id add lovely photos like other ppl do but im on phone#iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#character analysis#sorry if i repeat words it be like that sometimes#i dont even know if i wanna put this in my ramblings tag cus of how long it is#tom anderson#is that a tag? who tf is looking him up#edit;#apparently these types of posts are supposed to be tagged#iwtv meta#i didnt know till just a second ago
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so... ORIGINALLY i was thinking about perv!lifeguard!swim teacher!beomgyu cause of that one thing w soobin a while back, but then i decided I want to write that so you get:
(my mind actually went blank here so i looked at txt wet hair pics for inspo) (and then used my life as inspo too) (so if you don't mind...) (YES IM MANIFESTING THIS IRL W POOL BOY (yes ik his real name sjbdj) BUT WTV 🙏)
perv!yeonjun who goes to the same pool you do, on the same regular basis as you, and when you tell your friends how cute you think he is, you think it's just a coincidence 🤭 little do you know he's practically obsessed with you and the way you move through the water so effortlessly, curves and rolls and dimpled thighs on full display <3 and when he found you go to the pool on a similar schedule as him, well, he wouldn't pass that up for anything... brushing past you in the pool just to get a chance to feel your skin against his, imagine his surprise when he finds out he has a personal connection to you... friend's friend's sister, and best of all, you're both headed to a party together the next week... 🤭
OH MY GOD YEAH,,, perv!jjun x chubby!reader 🔛🔝
yeonjun remembers the very first moment that he saw you, the way your curves spilled out the sides of your swimsuit, your ass and tits barely hidden by the thin fabric — god, you're an image to behold, and he sure as hell wants a taste...little does he know, you have similar thoughts about him, how his strong arms would feel around you, how his hard chest would feel pressed against your back as he takes you from behind....
he's pleasantly surprised to learn that you're not a complete stranger that he'll never see again when he sees you at a party the next weekend, short denim shorts and crop top leaving little to the imagination,, and when you strip down to your bikini right in front of him to get into the house's pool?? fuck, he feels himself getting hard. how innocent you seem, unknowing just how much power you hold over him — but you're not that innocent, not really. you've been catching him eyeing you all night, even your friends have confirmed your suspicions, and perhaps you're feeling a little bold,, you go up to him as he stands alone, just observing the party, bikini clinging to your wet skin, and introduce yourself
it doesn't take long for the two of you to move somewhere more..private, especially after he sat you in his lap as you got to know each other better, his half-hard cock pressing against your sensitive pussy and you grinding back into him, ever a tease,,, he pushes you into vacant bathroom inside the house, bending you over the counter as he shoves his shorts and boxers down and your bikini bottoms to the side, exposing your cute lil cunt, all wet and ready for him...with little prep, he bottoms out rolls and wastes no time in pounding into you, reveling in your loud cries that he's sure everyone outside can hear,,holds you by your hair to keep you from burying your face in your arms, loving how ruined you look in the mirror for him, your body jiggling with every harsh roll of his hips,, and don't think he isn't going to tell you how pretty you look, how well you take his cock, slapping your ass just to watch it quake against his hand,, pulls out to cum onto the pretty rolls of your back, painting your skin with white ropes of cum — and before you can even think, he's on his knees behind you, nosing your entrance and breathing in your delicious scent before his tongue is ravaging your pussy til you cry <3333
...yeah, he's gonna have a lot of fun with you this summer 😵💫
#i am so feral#what the fuck#are we seeing how much i wrote#i could write a whole essay on this#*heavy breathing*#txt smut#yeonjun smut#txt hard thoughts#txt hard hours#yeonjun hard hours#yeonjun hard thoughts#ada ⭐️#moots!#banggyu0308 asks#🧨 — hard hours#agust.nsfw#💌 — jjun
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how the fuck did my english class manage to take a semi-positive stance on generative ai
#im actually so pissed about this rn#we were doing an assignment about ai and plagarism#and i was expecting a firmly anti-ai stance#cause yk. english class. writing.#and also schools are usually anti ai (at least from what iv experienced)#instead what i got told was that generative ai is alright to use so long as the teacher gives you permission and you cite it as a source#like???? no??????? its still not ethical to use????#youre an english teacher writing and literature is literally your whole thing how are you okay with generative ai?????#i was sitting there fuming the whole time#like i wrote out an entire paragraph explaining that generative ai is NOT in fact okay to use#yk on account of it stealing from writers and artists#and also being HORRIBLE for the environment#but i didnt get the chance to say that because the teacher didnt even open the discussion of the ethics of ai in general#just about what it was and what makes it constitute as plagiarism#which i find to be incredibly ironic given that ai literally plagiarises everything#ALSO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LETTING STUDENTS USE AI#SO LONG AS THEYRE “GIVEN PERMISSION” AND “CITE” IT LIKE ITS NOT THEIR WORK DOESNT MATTER IF THEY CITE IT OR NOT#ITS NOT THE SAME AS JUST GETTING SOURCES LIKE FOR A RESEARCH ESSAY#ITS STEALING#HOW THE FUCK IS THAT FAIR TO THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY PUT IN THE EFFORT????#anti ai#fuck ai#stop ai#fuck ai everything#i hate ai
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oh thank god ppl aren’t crucifying me for saying i like it better that darry dropped out of school over just not going at all i feel so vindicated. i think it makes sm more sense for his character and—-
#i WILL be writing a deeply at length tumblr#post about this*#at some point#trust me#it shows his sacrifices and how fucking close he was to getting out of tulsa#and getting rid of the greaser name he’s been so ashamed to have attached to him#bc at the end of the story. pony realizes there’s more to him than just grease and#darry’s already known that about himself. he’s sick of that being ALL he’s known for#he wants out and to make a life for himself and he GOT out against all odds#just for life to. well. Life. and then he’s pulled back into an opportunity to ask himself#do i sacrifice everything i have worked my entire life for??#do i go back home and say goodbye to this life i’ve fought tooth and nail for to keep my brothers in my care or#do i stay and continue on with what ive worked for my entire mf life and#the REAL testament to darry’s character is#no matter how much he WANTED to get out. he will never ever let anything be more important to him than his family#it’s a no brainer to him to drop out and come back home. no matter how hard things get w his brothers#no matter if he threatens wanting to go back when things get unbearably difficult#he still fucking STAYS!!!!!!!!!#that is darry curtis for you thank you for your time.#holy FUCK i wrote an essay IM SORRY#me at the beginning of the tags: i’ll do this someday but not today#me at the end: 🧍🧍🧍#would it shock you if i said these weren’t even ALL my thoughts on this topic#the outsiders#darry curtis#outsiders musical
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Netflix: suggests Ronja the Robber's Daughter show based on the old Swedish Novel by Astrid Lindgren
Me: "Oh, my God! That is so cool that a little bit of Scandinavian literature has come to Netflix!"
Netflix show: one of the cast members is black
Me: "Okay, slightly unrealistic since this takes place in the early middle ages in Sweden, but it doesn't really affect the story so whatever*
Netflix show: Ronja has blonde hair
Me: "... ok, now you're just trying to make me mad."
#ronja the robber's daughter#easily one of my favorite scandinavian novels#wrote essays and did loads of school work on it#grew up with this author#she's unfortunately not too known outside of scandinavia#but she's a scandinavian icon#i'm sure some of the northern european countries probably also know her#seriously this was my reaction#for a short moment i found the black cast member to be an odd choice cause it's the early middle ages in fucking SWEDEN#but again doesn't matter for the story#i'm of the opinion that as long as it doesn't affect the story i couldn't care less what ethnicity fictional characters are portrayed by#but ronja having BLONDE HAIR?`??#excuse me
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also just for the record. no matter how much utterly stupid shit i say or draw about him, frank actually makes me so deeply sad. this old man should be picking up his grandkids but he cant. i think about him too much and im so sad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#this is true for like most of these guys [gestures vaguely to comicbook men] but frank is the one that makes me want to chew on rocks rn. s#like yeah i selfship with him for fun and i like to think about cutesy or funny stuff involving him but the reality is he makes me so sad#ig thats part of why i do it. you make me so sad old man. but youre not real so in some version of not real you can be a little better#not happy but yk better#but like. just. fuck man hes so deeply damaged and hurt it drives me up the wall. my hurt person hurting people#as always i struggle to string words together this isnt news if you know anything about him you know exactly what im getting at#he would have been a wonderful father and husband. the way hes so devoted to them still. always. its killing me#sometimes i see canon moments of him where how just fundamentally deeply broken as a person he is and augh#nothing can help you nothing can make things any better but my god you cannot be left alone in this state#eh maybe thats it. i cant help him i cant make him feel better. but i cant let him be alone like this#i dont think he should have to be alone like this#bleh sorry word vomit. im tired and sleepy. i wrote 4 essays this week. need to write 2 more. going a little bonkers#brain is fried.
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and sparrow's son loves the world so much and loves everyone around him and how can sparrow tell him that the world is cruel? how can he tell him that love will be punished and that cruelty is the only way to survive? normal's love scares him, he loves his son so much but that love scares him. he would do and has done anything for his son but he knows that it has led to his own ruin. and he loves his son but too much love has only ever harmed him and maybe he can take a model from his own dad and multitask.
maybe he can love his son but he hates him too, hates that normal can love and hates that normal can be loved and hates that normal can be so oblivious to the cruelty around him in a way that he himself lost when the world ended. he wants his son to have everything but loathes that fact that normal'll never try. that he just accepts life as it is. the way his dad did, when sparrow saluted henry and went along with the world's end and turned a blind eye to his wife's infidelity.
he sees himself in normal, maybe. maybe he hates that. because he lost himself, that day he lost his father's care and his mother's respect, and he can't bear to see himself lost again. normal needs to be cruel because otherwise he will be crushed and sparrow can't do that again. can't let himself be crushed again.
#dndads#dndads spoilers#i guess?#i'm sorry this is basically an extension of another rant i did on discord. so some points may not make complete sense but#i am so-- [wait i can't say normal fuck] regular. about the oaks#can you tell i think about them? can you tell?? did the art not convince you???#sorry if this is incoherent i am supposed to be writing an essay due in an hour but instead i wrote this.#hashtag no beta (not even myself) we die like hermie#this mainly goes off of the most recent episode and when sparrow told normal he wasn't proud. that whole interaction#yet again the point turns incomprehensible halfway though but we stay silly#also “hate” really isn't the right word for what i meant?#like the strength of the word is#but the general sentiment is just left of hate.#idk man#can't stop thinking about them#asdfdhg edit because i just. wrote the wrong name for one of the sentences. oops
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ive got an essay due at 3pm tomorrow and ive not even looked at it i am so so unserious about my degree and by the grace of some higher being i somehow keep managing to crawl through it's actually getting a bit funny
#me and an old friend of mine used to have a running joke during a-levels that im just one of those people where shit Works Out#and it started bc we shared two a-levels (english and economics) and in BOTH classes i regularly didn't do the homework#or the reading etc and yet it would ALWAYS work out for me#like we'd walk into a class neither of us having done the homework and they'd get yelled at while i went under the radar somehow#or that one english essay i got the highest score in the class when i literally hadn't even read the fucking book it was on#and when we pointed the theory out it started just becoming really prevalent#like no matter how late i am for things i'll arrive and by some miracle the thing im late for is also late (e.g a train or teacher)#like im just one of those people that has very very mundane luck#and low and behold i am fighting this degree with bloody fists putting the absolute bare minimum in for my own sanity's sake#and i SOMEHOW keep pulling through. literally failed two modules last year and STILL got a 2:1 average#and the last essay i wrote was the worst essay id ever done in my life and i get my standards are higher bc ik im good at essays#but the point still stands and you know what? i got a FIRST#literally was pure waffle i have never blagged it so hard and i got a FIRST#and all this shit just makes me cockier and cockier and go even more by the skin of my teeth and it ALWAYS WORKS OUT#it's soooo silly but im not complaining. anyway ill keep u posted about this essay <3 it's econ history so is actually interesting#but the most ive done for it is ask the sc ai lmao and for context degree-level essays usually require a good few days of graft#live love laziness#hella goes to uni
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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DAKOTA. TUXEDO. ROSE IN HIS MOUTH. listen i know everyone's into ghostknife around here but william wisp has two hands
#pd spoilers#i love the fucking dynamics in this campaign#what do you MEAN william wrote a bee vs wasp essay for vyncent and what do you MEAN willian's primary form of transportation is dakota#the lads ever#anyway i cant wait for this song to be some sort of meme
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//who are THESE fresh squids?? (made here)
okay these guys might not get a mention on this blog for a while- if ever- so i'm gonna talk about them now bc i've been rotating them in my mind for a while
these are captain's siblings! the ones they left behind when they were 14 to run away to inkopolis. captain certainly isn't proud of leaving them behind at ALL, in fact the one thing they wish they'd done differently is taking them with them, even if it would've been damn near impossible to take care of 2 younger siblings all on their own away from home when they were already struggling to take care of themself. they have no idea how their siblings fared with their neglectful ass father after they left, but pierce (right) was only a year or 2 younger than them, so they hoped he'd be able to leave soon too- taking harper (left) with him
so yeah harper (left) i think is probably around 16 or 17 now, having been 7 or 8 when captain left. since she was pretty young she didn't really know exactly why they left, and they didn't tell her either, so i'd say she probably resents them for it. she's a hotheaded edgy teen, classic rebel, you know the deal.
and then there's pierce (right), who's around 21 or 22 now, so he would've been 12 or 13 when they left. even if they didn't say a word to him before packing their bags and hopping a train at the asscrack of dawn, he knows exactly why they did. because being a kid and not only growing up, but having to parent your 2 younger siblings in your father's place, is hard. he basically had to take on their role as caretaker of harper when they left, being the second oldest, and that's how he realized. he doesn't resent them exactly, but he does wish they'd at least said goodbye. he's an outwardly chipper guy, and puts on a brave face even at the worst of times.
and they both did eventually get out of that house- pierce didn't leave as soon as he turned 14 like captain did (though cod, he wanted to) but when harper was old enough to be left home alone he got a job and saved up what he could to get himself and his younger sister out of there. and then when harper was 12 and he was 17, he got them both out of there. they might have gone somewhere else first, but i wanna say they probably ended up in splatsville, living in an apartment together with pierce doing what he can to support harper through school, and she does some turfing herself to help with rent and save up her own money so she can get her own place eventually.
i feel like the reason they probably haven't run into captain is that captain lives in inkopolis and only really goes to splatsville to visit rookie, and the last time they saw their siblings, neither of them were fully transformed yet, and they aren't so easy to recognize anymore themself. so if they've happened to pass each other on the street, it'd take more than just a cursory glance to realize just who they're passing. so it could definitely, and likely will, happen eventually. who's to say.
#headcanons#muse lore#jesus chirst this is a fucking novel and a half#but also i wanna say i think the reason captain is so fiercely loyal and 'no squid left behind' with their current found family#is because they'll die before repeating their perceived mistake with their siblings#tbcf to them they were only FOURTEEN YEARS OLD and were NOT equipped to raise 2 younger siblings#so it's fully understandable why they would dip as soon as they could from the situation.#they loved their siblings. they did everything they could. but they reached their breaking point. so they left that house before they broke#they DO feel a lot of guilt over it but they've never tried to go back and find them for multiple reasons- the guilt being one of them#but also when it comes to their father: i likely won't incorporate him into the blog in any way more than a mention or a flashback#he was a single father of 3 and he did an absolute shrimpshit job of it.#should've gotten help with parenting from someone OTHER than his oldest barely teenaged child#though he pushed the parenting role onto them long before they reached their teen years#anyway what the fuck am i talking about#wrote ANOTHER WHOLE ESSAY IN HTE TAGS I'M SORRY#I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BACKSTORY I'VE BEEN CRAFTING FOR THIS SQUID BEHIND THE SCENES#but anyway my point with these tags is: it's a very complicated family dynamic#all these squids are fucked up but at least they're out of that house now#i DO want to incorporate them into the blog somehow i'm just not sure when/how yet#ooc
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do you. do you have any ideas/theories on how rin could survive/make it to the gay cuck ending -totally anonymous tumblr user
postponed answering this bc it took me a bit to roll the idea around in my head. obligatory 'my character interpretations are firmly rooted in canon but still, like, extrapolating reasonably and prone to my horny tragedy-fetish bastard inclinations'
VERY difficult to come up with feasible theories given 'rin survives' is an inherently story-altering event in the context of shikis route and 'rin and shiki stop fighting (or rin gets somehow dragged into a situation like akira)' would require a lot of character development by proxy of rin and shiki fundamentally misunderstanding eachother.
i would have to play rin's route again (and shikis. and nanos) to get an exact gauge but from what i recall shiki is, in a bizarre way, 'caring' towards rin but i always assumed it was coming from a place of 'hardening' him. tough love. granted fucking 'I assault and kill all my problems' shiki isn't gonna be anywhere near emotionally intelligent enough to realize his nagging obsession over rin is an obsession (and more importantly a possessive one. i might be a lunatic misremembering but it did ABSOLUTELY come off [TO ME] like shiki was jealous of akira alongside being disappointed in rin).
rins pretty easy and doesn't really necessitate a paragraph like he has blonde twink BPD its fucking joever for him. over emotional little cuck was not built for sigma edit shiki. ill add that i personally prefer to headcanon that rin 'maturing' in his good end is him emulating shiki's 'cool' stoicism and complete refusal of cognitive empathy rather than rin really growing and moving on from shiki. outwardly seems fine but in my heart hes still having white girl meltdowns in private.
ANYWAYS. LOTS OF PREAMBLE! in my ideal world rin's emulation of shiki would start much earlier and lead to a gradual, self-destructive spiral into 'fearlessness'. what appeals akira to shiki in the first place is akiras lack of fear & will to fight in the face of it and i do NOT think rin is capable of being anywhere near as comparatively normal as tsundere 'just some guy trying his best' akira.
what makes most sense to me is their confrontation ending in a similar way to what leads to the shikiaki route (fighting and refusing to back down & showing no fear etc etc) with my personal preference being that he DOESNT lose like little bitch [affectionate] akira and instead reaches a standstill against shiki. neither side really wins
my deranged brain is speaking rn (maybe) but from how oddly morose shiki is after cutting rin into sashimi i like to think thats the ideal end shiki would've wanted. rin lets go of his fear, attachment and by extension anyone else but shiki, and becomes as emotionally detached as shiki is.
again i doubt shiki is aware he wants that and doubly doubt he would (or could) even ENTERTAIN the idea that rin dying is something that would make him sad. emotion is a weakness etc etc.
anyways. neither side really wins -> they end up teaming-up-but-not-really, in the sense that they're both freak bloodthirsty bastards who are TOTALLY not obsessed with eachother its COINCIDENCE that they keep engaging in swordfight foreplay. akira still being included in this is deeply funny i know hes getting fucking tossed around like a ragdoll between rin & shiki.
putting aside all my actual character analysis aside i think demure rin in the too-big shirt like akira has making out with akira sloppy style while waiting for their wife to come back from whatever the fuck his cunty dictator job implies would be hottest. but. my storytellers soul struggles to see a story where a mindbroken rin wouldn't just piss shiki off.
akira gets the advantage of being someone shiki has no real prior entanglement with, or at least nothing NEAR the psychosexual insanity going on with whatever the fuck shiki & rin have.
#the dilemma i have with character analysis and such is i never shut the fuck up and love preambles. enjoy my essay#i love when bitches SAD and MISERABLE and DYSFUNCTIONAL FOREVER until they DIE.#i inevitably end up hitting my favorite characters with some degree of bpd. take my disorder boy.#ask#blue moon personal post#<- thats a text post tag but i like what i wrote here. into the tag it goes#forgot to spell it out but to be clear: theyre fucking. for SURE.#but rin emulating shiki means it wouldn't end like it does for akira (becoming his stockholm'd gay cuck)
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really feeling that moon knight 'random bullshit go' meme as i'm writing this essay
#i know i complained about the 1k word limit on my essay last quarter but. five pages is killing me#ive actually still got way too much to say but idk if im saying it in a way that makes even remotely any sense#i just wrote 'the folly of experience from a distance' like. girlie what the FUCK are you talking about#also you are writing WAY too much for this first paragraph how is it 1.5 pages
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