#i write this as i'm actively procrastinating my work lol

[superfluouskeys]

omg i just realised you're in law school?? can i ask what prompted you to pursue a (i presume) 2nd degree? i am nearing 30 and considering going for a 2nd degree as well but i'm super reluctant haha, would you mind sharing something about your experience? are you doing like a master's, did you choose it to get a specific job you are aiming for?

Ah, I would be happy to talk about my questionable life choices lol! For law school in the US if you want to actually practice you get what's called a Juris Doctor (JD) degree, which is a professional degree, and you have to have completed a Bachelor's to pursue it. People who want to like, specialize in something will sometimes get an LLM (Master of Law), but generally do that after the JD, even though a JD is technically "higher" than a Master's. Absurdly long story of my Journey TM under the cut lol

I tell people law school was a response to the pandemic even though that's not really true bc I don't want to get into the years-long insane series of thought processes that led me here lol. I only have a Bachelor's degree (in German/Music) and never intended to pursue anything beyond that. I'm naturally intelligent and did very well in school without trying, but I never had any particular interest in pursuing a higher education and pretty much just did it because that's what you're supposed to do. Looking back I feel quite embarrassed that I didn't fully appreciate the value of my education, even though I obviously wasn't doing it on purpose LOL. I got a lot of value out of college in general but it's frankly amazing that I did fine in my classes given my general self at the time. Fortunately I went to one of those schools where ppl hear the name and go oooOoooo woOOooOOow and don't generally care about my mediocre GPA.

I never really had a clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life, and I don't feel I'm one of those people who has a Calling TM. I'm good at and enjoy a variety of things, and I have a hard time being happy doing the same thing for a long period of time. I worked as a professional actor/singer when I graduated, and even within that field I became unhappy when I did too much of the same kind of work. Ultimately, as I grew into myself, I became frustrated and disillusioned with the industry in general, and with how I was being forced to live my life. I so rarely got to do anything I genuinely enjoyed, the work that paid best was utterly soul-sucking, and the general attitudes of the people around me esp. towards maintaining one's appearance were very unhealthy for me. They're unhealthy for everyone of course, but I was trying to recover from viewing my body in a negative light, and being around ppl with these attitudes made it pretty much impossible.

So I was already sort of looking for a new path of some sort a few years ago, but what I didn't realize at the time was that I had completely lost faith in myself and my abilities, and was selling myself incredibly short. I tried to do a bunch of dumb shit which obviously wouldn't be fulfilling in any way, tried to reshape my life into something bearable, and failed miserably several times. I was in fact halfway through discarding another failed attempt and taking up a new one when the pandemic hit. I ended up having to move back in with my mother, and what we all hoped would be a couple of months turned into Whatever This Is. So I found myself with a lot of time to think lol. And while it was a very difficult experience, I kept telling myself, whatever you do, no matter how bad it is, you need to actually think ahead for five fucking seconds and try to do something that will actually work, you know lol, because otherwise you're just going to end up in the same place again.

Law school started as a whim like any other; I was having lunch with my mom, and she mentioned offhand that she thought I should go to law school (she didn't go but she has a lot of lawyer friends). And I was feeling just insane enough that day that I was like yeah idk maybe I should. So I went home and was like okay how does one go to law school. I looked up a practice LSAT, took it knowing absolutely nothing about the LSAT, and did EXTREMELY well. So I thought, well. Huh. I need something to do w my life so I stop wanting to eat drywall, why not study for the LSAT lol, can't hurt.

And it just sort of kept going from there. Practicing for the LSAT gave me a sense of purpose, applying to law schools gave me a sense of purpose, and that sense of purpose enabled me to start slowly improving the horrible circumstances I was in. I didn't know how anything would shake out and to be honest I didn't particularly care at that point. Looking back I think I really had no hope for the future, and I was pretty crazy and didn't really feel like I'd be able to live very much longer. I didn't envision myself as a lawyer really, more as a law student lol. Schools have a lot of free resources and people who want to help you, and even as crazy as I was I felt I was in a much better place to take full advantage of those things than I had been in undergrad, in order to achieve SOMETHING. I wasn't really worried about what that might be.

So, I vowed to myself that whatever happened, I would really try, not just in school but to build a better future for myself. I did not arrive here in a good mental state, to say the least lol. And going back to school brought back a LOT of painful memories from my previous time in school when, as I mentioned, I was infinitely crazier. As just a couple of random examples, I was sort of toying with the idea of trying to learn a new language, and realized that I was still holding onto this intense guilt about the mental breakdown I had while taking a Russian class in college. One of my professors told me that I was an amazing writer, and I realized no teacher had ever told me that before. I had these insane moments sitting in class where I would get emotional because I was just so happy to be there, in spite of absolutely everything. I stopped regretting all of my past mistakes, because I genuinely think, no matter what horrible things I've done, I would do them all again if they would bring me here. My favorite professor literally saved my life, and is probably the only person in the world who could have successfully convinced me to go to therapy. I can't really even wish I'd done any of this sooner, because I know without a doubt that I wouldn't have been ready.

There are definitely some challenges to being back in school after so long. I remember feeling especially when I was around my friends who were in grad school that if I had to, like, write a long-ass paper or something, I just wouldn't be able to do it lol, like I'd just be so pissed that I had to do some arbitrary assignment. But it should be noted that I, like, despise philosophy-type subjects and things with no practical application, and always felt like I was bullshitting my assignments to make them longer. Not only do I love law school assignments because they are about applying the law to a set of facts (which may be made up but still have real-world relevance), but I always have a LOT to say, and am always struggling to make my papers SHORT enough rather than dragging out my dumbass takes to meet the minimum lol. It's a lot of work, but generally it's work I actually WANT to do, which makes all the difference.

I definitely also feel a bit of a disconnect from most of my fellow students. I think this is partially an age thing and partially a life experience thing. Like, for example, I had a series of hilarious conversations with ppl a few weeks back bc one of my classmates was like "where do you go?? you leave class so fast?" and i was like ?????? when class is over you get to leave that's the deal??????

And I was talking to my fave professor about this and she was like yeah that's definitely a difference of being a little older, you're probably just not in the same mindset that they are. Which is definitely true, and worth keeping in mind. It's not a big deal really but it can be very isolating if you don't feel like you can relate to your classmates on that level. I sometimes get a little :( because I don't usually have a hard time talking to people but I'll just have the most insane interactions w some of my classmates and have to talk myself down like it's okay it wasn't you the other person was the one acting weird LOL. Also, for me at least, I definitely have a little bit of a 'you can't tell me what to fucking do' attitude sometimes LOL, and will get really irritated when professors keep us over time or make us do something pointless. That may just be my sweet personality, but I think in general having been out of school for awhile and also being a bit older, I'm MUCH less tolerant of trifling bullshit than when i was younger LOL. Generally I think there's a lot LESS trifling bullshit to deal with in law school bc there's just so much that's genuinely important to learn? But something to keep in mind.

But god there are SO many benefits! Like, as I mentioned, I'm a naturally intelligent person, but it's actually terrifying how much my mind had slowed down over the past few years. I've had SO many moments here where I was like oh my god, I'm stupid, I'm just stupid and I can't understand this-- and then I was like okay sweaty :) have you considered taking a nap and maybe you'll calm down :) lol but you get my point. Learning new things in a structured environment where you literally have to do the work I think is so beneficial especially at this particular age, since most people get pretty settled into their ways around 30, and personally I don't particularly like being set in my ways and want to always be growing and improving and pushing myself. Every aspect of my life has improved noticeably since I've been here, my physical and emotional and mental health, my memory, my writing, my personal relationships--everything.

BUT that is a direct result of all the work I've put in, because I did this at the right time for myself, and at a point in my life when I'm able to truly appreciate the value of a good education and all the benefits and resources that come with that. So, I would say that if you're in the right mindset to go back to school, it's absolutely 1000% worth it. But if you feel like, 'I don't want to do this, this is a waste of time and will make me miserable,' then I'd say wait it out a little more. There might come a day when you're like, wow, I'm so ready. Or you might think, I can't believe I was gonna go to grad school for That TM that would have been insane, and want to go for something else lol. I think we're so conditioned not to listen to our intuition that we don't realize a lot of the time our gut instinct will tell us whether something is the right move or not!

Wow this was long lol, thank you so much for reaching out, friend, and I hope some of this was mildly helpful or entertaining! I wish you the best in your ventures, and of course I'm always happy to talk more!

[artist-issues]

Hello hello I have very big and complicated questions that started out broad and complex but got more and more specific and more and more personal like my questions to my family and friends always do. Whoops lol. Buckle up.

I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post you made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.

So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!

But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.

For example, let's just point at that Voice in the Dark one shot I wrote, which is one of, if not the, best singular fiction piece that I've written. I think the reasons why it was so good was that A) I expanded on the story in a way that was intriguing, and got inside my characters heads and accurately depicted their thought processes through it B) Made it pleasant to read with details and action and emotion and everything, C) set everything up for a part 2 conclusion of Sam and Five really connecting and talking about what they both said/thought, and becoming friends (which after procrastinating for months, I'm finally working on), but most importantly, D) Had clear themes of hope, perseverance, connection, trust, and encouragement. Which is really what I think made it so much more excellent than other fanfiction pieces I've written. I had a clear point and intention going into it that was more than just 'Have it be something I love and just for my entertainment' although that was one of the reasons I did decide to write it I will say- you do have to love what you want to write in order to write it well after all. But this is absolutely what I want the point of all my fanfiction writing to be like from here on out, being morally great, as well as well-written.

So now, because I really enjoy ZR and its really is kinda perfect for a fanfiction format, I want to turn it into more of an ongoing piece with my favorite missions and Five's relationships with the characters. But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the game and I've thought up?

And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?

I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3

Hey! First of all, I love getting questions from you, and I especially love it because you take enough time to read the previous things I say that we can have a very level conversation, and a deep back-and-forth, which is not always the case with everybody who sends me questions (I like those questions too, I’m just saying.) So thanks for typing all that up!

Second of all, I’m no expert on fanfiction writing. You’ve read what I have to say about making sure the “Tone & Style” and “Themes” of any “Continued Work” stay true to their source material when it comes to like, sequels and expansions? Well, I guess I would apply that philosophy, generally, to fanfiction, too.

But the point of my “second of all” is actually, there are better people to ask about this than me. I can answer you in a broad “here’s how I apply my storytelling philosophy to this hypothetical scenario” sense, but other people have more experience actually doing what you’re talking about with fanfiction. Specifically, @doverstar, who, if you don’t follow her or read her stuff, I seriously think you’re missing out.

So in summary, talk to Doverstar. She’ll answer this better. But if I had to try and succinctly respond, I’d say: “Intentionality is always better than doing something by accident. But if you genuinely value goodness, beauty, and truth, in your own personal worldview, in a way that is genuine, and you cultivate that…it’ll come out in your writing on accident.” So in a way, even when you’re being intentional, as long as you remember that, you don’t have to be too militant whether you’re writing fanfiction or fiction.

(That’s a thought I’m still learning to put into practice, myself. I err on the side of “control everything to a T, outline everything, everything has to have a tie-in to the theme—if it doesn’t you’re failing—“ and I don’t recommend that mindset 😅) That’s the “short” answer to your ask. I’ve got a deep-dive below the cut if you’re interested, though.

How do I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in?

This has to do with knowing the source-story.

ZR unfortunately gets very political and social in further seasons, but to do it credit, the main, recurring, broad theme of Zombies, Run continues to be “Something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.”

They keep coming back to it with literally every villain, and every hero, from multiple angles. You’ll see. They say, “the pursuit of pure happiness alone is bad because it’s selfish—the pursuit of immortality is bad because it’s selfish—the pursuit of everyone’s affections is bad because it’s selfish; but sacrificing for others is the real happiness, the real immortality, the real love, etc.”

So any fanfiction—even if, surface-read, it appears to be about Five falling in love with Sam or Janine learning to communicate, etc—that comes back to “Something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.” is a success. Because it carried on the Main Point of ZR. Or it carried on a point that could be tied to the main point, whatevs.

But your question (for other fandoms) is “How do I know what themes I can bring in?”

Okay, well, that’s actually not so hard. Lots of “sub-themes” fit under the umbrella of the main theme. “Something greater than yourself,” well, that entails “self-sacrifice, gaining a broader perspective, finding empathy,” etc. (something you can see they do with sheltered characters or brittle, mission-focused miopic characters like Janine.)

But how did I find the main theme to begin with? This post. In summary:

Take in the Story, With the Single Expectation that They’re Trying to Tell You Something.

Take Note of Where You Felt Something. Then Figure Out Why You Felt It.

Figure Out What Each Character Wants, and If They Have a Moment of Change.

Look at What Decisions the Storytellers Reward, and What Decisions They Punish.

You can apply this to Marvel, to Percy Jackson, to anything. Once you figure out the main theme, it’s not so hard to break that down into little supporting ideas. And inject those into your own story. And you can even figure out where the storytellers dropped the ball, or lost their theme and did something totally out-of-character, and then fix that with your fanfiction.

Or, galaxy-brain, is when you figure out what the story was trying to say—and it was saying something bad or wrong, but you liked some of the setting or characterizations, you can fix that. Like I’ve always wanted to do with A Streetcar Named Desire.

What you don’t want to do is try to make the story about a theme that has nothing to do with any good or true thing—it’s just gratuitous. For example, I see about sixty fanfics for Twisters (one of my new favorite movies, you may recall) and they’re all about Tyler (the main guy) needing to be defended from his abusive alcoholic dad.

There is no mention of his dad, or alcohol, or Tyler having any emotional trauma, at all, in Twisters. Because the point of the movie Twisters is the girl character’s trauma (and her best friend’s,) and Tyler’s role in all of that is to be the guy who pushes her past that. Because he’s lived a lifestyle of “you ride your fears, you don’t run from them, you don’t even just face them.”

So why would a character who’s whole conception, who was created to say that, be curled up in a sad little miserable ball because his out-of-nowhere made-up father is back in town? He wouldn’t do that. His lifestyle is “ride your fears.” He’d be the guy reaching out and inviting his dad to lunch to see if something he does can make the outcome different, even though his dad never shows up, or always makes a scene, or whatever, because that would be “riding his fears.” That’s Tyler’s character. So why would you have him curl into a little ball and need his 126-lb girlfriend to defend him?

I’ll tell you why, it’s because the point of your story was not the point of Twisters, or anything good. The point of your story was, “I have a thing for emotional scenes where a man gets all weak and vulnerable and needs his love interest to take care of him,” and it shows. So you just hung skin-puppets and names of established characters on “your thing” and that’s trash storytelling. The characters are supposed to serve the story, and the story is supposed to serve the audience, not serve you.

That would be an extreme example of what not to do.

And then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the game and I've thought up?

If my fanfic is all about Sam and Five coming clean about their feelings together, that’s fine—but they should be driven to do that because not doing that is selfish. And selfishness is the opposite of “something greater than yourself is all that’s worth living and dying for.” So I’d have Sam avoid admitting to himself that Five means so much to him because if he does, he opens himself up to crippling worry after what happened to Alice. So out of fear, which is ultimately self-protection, he doesn’t admit that he has feelings for her. But then eventually he comes to realize that caring about someone else actually drives him to work harder for the Greater Good, etc.

See what I mean? Your fanfic can be a string of scenes of will-they-won’t-they, romcom popcorn, as long as the thread holding them together is that character arc that points back to the game’s main theme.

To make it well-written, you just have to be genuine. I know everyone has lots of good tips like “show don’t tell” but books like Jane Eyre tell much more than they show. Some people say, “break up the pace with dialogue,” or “cut the tension with comedy, then ramp it back up,” etc., but there’s no cut to the tension in Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. There’s breaks to every rule. There’s an audience for every style. Just do what C. S. Lewis says and “tell the truth, without caring two pence if it’s original.”

If you know your source material and love the loveable parts for what it is, and then you marry that with what you really believe and value in the real world, you’ll get it.

Know what you’re trying to say, love what you’re trying to say, and sacrifice to say it.

I think now that you’re thinking about this stuff, you’re going to have a hard time not writing something morally good, with entertainment as a supporting pillar.

[caitylove]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @holy-ships-x-red-lips! Thank you so much for the tags. You have given me a lovely way to procrastinate right now. :)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? Only 16, but there are also fics out there on LJ that I was too lazy (or were just too bad) to find on the group events I posted on and port over. There are also some other ff.net fics on another account that I forgot about, but were from when I was in high school so totally not bringing those over either.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 78,839. I expect that to drastically change once I start publishing my one long wip...

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently I mostly write Battlestar Galactica (spaceparents ftw) and some The Closer/Major Crimes (I'm a Brenda/Sharon heathen. ) But in the past I wrote for Rizzoli and Isles and Grey's Anatomy. There's also some X-files fic out there and a CSI one somewhere.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Caffeine (Rizzoli & Isles): What happens when Maura consumes an excessive amount of caffeine?

So major note this fic is literally like 12 years old. And super short. And honestly not good lol.

Break All The Rules For You (The Closer/Major Crimes): Sharon Raydor has a list of rules she lives her life by. But Brenda Leigh Johnson very might be the catalyst for her to break each and every one.

This is actually my current active posting WIP. I'm amused it got so many kudos so fast. Guess I'm not the only heathen out there. :)

Frak Me Red (Battlestar Galactica): Wanting Laura to feel good about herself, Bill finds her the perfect gift and they spend an exciting weekend away on shore leave aboard Cloud 9.

Part of my Cosmetics Series. This was a blast and like 70% pure smut.

Pain Management (Battlestar Galactica): Dealing with pain during her cancer treatments, Laura is suggested an unorthodox treatment plan.

This was actually my first fic back after a ten year writing hiatus... :) Never let anyone tell you that you can't return after a long time away.

Spray and Stay (Battlestar Galactica): Laura has a secret addiction that is slowly running out and she can't help but show off her addiction to Bill.

The first part of my Cosmetics Series. Also 50% smut. :)

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely. So, I work from home and like responding to them instead of working sometimes.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? So I don't have a ton of angst honestly. So I guess the ending of Auburn Sunsets, Starlit Nights (Battlestar Galactica) is the angstiest? (Or meanest?)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? So like 80% of my stuff is smut... so they all have HAPPY ENDINGS. *snicker*. But I guess I'll go with Frak Me Red ?

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really. Probably did on some of my old FF.net stuff but don't care enough to go back and look.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Like thats half of what I write. :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not in a long time. But once upon a time I wrote a Grey's Anatomy Zombie fic that had a Doctor House appearance. Its somewhere on LJ. It was BAD, but I am so tempted to find it now for my own amusement.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. Feel free to reach out if you want to tho.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but definitely open to it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? So probably Bill/Laura(Spaceparents) from BSG. But Also have a soft spot for Sharon/Brenda (The Closer), MSR (The X-Files), Swan Queen, Janeway/Chakotay, Femshep/Garrus, to name a few.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Love Games. My 12 year old the Closer fic I never finished. May rewrite it one day but I will never just finish it as it exists today.

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I do a lot of emotional introspection well. And Smut. I can do smut.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Honestly, I struggle with dialogue.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? As long as its translated or explained, I'm fine with it. Probs would never do it, cause my language skills suck, but wouldn't mind reading.

19. First fandom you wrote for? CSI! I wrote a Grissom/Sara fic back in the day. I was in like High School.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Thats like asking me my favorite children! My favorite is one I am still writing and haven't published yet, The Symposium of the Stars. One day it'll make an appearance.

But for published? I really loved Auburn Sunsets, Starlit Nights. I have a soft spot for it.

Tagging: @lavenderknivess, @mimine666, @madelineusherspearls. @ofhouseusher, @cryscal, @fracktastic, and anyone else who feels like it :)

[iamamythologicalcreature]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

(Not like I need the assistance, but I'm so thrilled to be thought of as a writer that I'm totally doing this.)

Thank you so much for the invites @aristocratic-otter, @bookish-bogwitch, @shrekgogurt, @ic3-que3n, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @drowninginships, @best--dress, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @monbons, @thewholelemon, @whatevertheweather, and @youarenevertooold! (I think I might be the last one in the 'verse doing this, but that won't stop me from tagging more people at the end.) I've loved reading everyone's answers!

Okay. Here we go. I am absolutely using my flimsy claim to authorhood to answer these. >.>

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

The Haunting of Simon Snow

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Construction Worker!Simon + haunted manor house = a most interesting summer job

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

Well, it's a ghost story. You can draw some conclusions from that.

4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

A Victorian's Gothic

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

It sure as hell better be Haunting. I mean, my goodness, it's looped around my brain like a too-patient boa constrictor, just sloooowly squeezing.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

snowbaz.scriv is my catch-all Scrivener file for all ficcy things

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

There’s a person that I used to be. Magic I used to hold, magic that held me. I have done everything I can to forget that feeling, because it was never supposed to be mine. I was never magic. He’s magic. He’s magic, and I can almost touch him. He’s magic, and he can almost hold me. I live on the edge of almost all the time, so that’s enough. (It’s never enough.)

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

This was originally planned as a story written in letters. (Doing that with something else, now, and it works way better in a different story.)

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I'm going to stick to snowbaz fanfic for this, because if I broaden it any further, this list will instantly become quite long. (I have a lot of original story ideas.) For snowbaz, though? Well, there's the one I'm planning for COTTA. There are a couple AU's that I've written way too many notes on. And then a Fangirl crossover fic that I sincerely hope to someday write. (Technically I started it, but only a few hundred words at this point.)

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

Actively? One. Maybe two. Kinda thinking two, but the second one is new and more of a game at this point, so we'll see. (Not quite so actively I also have my Baz fic, my "Silence" fic where Baz successfully steals Simon's voice. It's roughly (super roughly) outlined, and I've written several scenes, but it's on the back-burner for Haunting. And COTTA. No more new fics after that, though! I really want to tell that story!)

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

That's funny. What a question. XD YES. Yes, there are scenes. I'm designing Pitch Manor to get through this damned scene LOL

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

Thankee kindly!

On the off chance there are any fic writers left out there who haven't yet done this... Tags! @mooncello, @cutestkilla, @blackberrysummerblog, @hushed-chorus, @fatalfangirl, @onepintobean, @j-nipper-95, @facewithoutheart, @angelsfalling16, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii, anyone else who wants to. Cheers!

[aristocratic-otter]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

Thank you to @theearlgreymage and @wellbelesbian for the tag. I haven't done this one before

(Original Ask Game)

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

I'll go with TikTok dancer, because it's one of only two I haven't published yet, and the other is my COBB so I can't give too much away on it.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Simon Snow + the Pacific Ocean = Dancing Sea Lion

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

It is very very explicit. Simon is a slut in this one.

4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

Honestly? This is the only name I've come up with for it. I may change it, but I tend to be fairly resolute when it comes to my titles.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

Probably Cupid's Shield. I'll be updating Cupid's Shield and Saving Simon Snow in the next few days. The next chapter of Stars, Flowers, and Children ought to go up by Wednesday.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

I always save my docs under their title once I have the title. Before that, I call it by a descriptive phrase, like "cobb 2024" or "Tiktok AU"

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

Simon Snow is standing above me, looking at me with a perplexed expression. I quickly get my own expression under control. “Hello?” I say coolly.

“Baz,” he says, and my eyes widen. I wouldn’t have thought he’d remember my name, given the many similar encounters he must have had over the years. 

“Snow,” I say, neither encouraging nor discouraging this discourse.

For some strange reason though, his eyes light up at the sound of his name and he beams at me. “What?” I say sharply, confused.

He shakes his head and his curls fly about with the motion. “Nothing. It’s just, I like it when you call me that.”

That’s distinctly odd. Don’t people generally prefer to be called by their first names?

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

I originally had this ending two different ways, and one of them was mpreg. I shifted away from that idea before I started typing though.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

My friend denticles (sorry, forgot your Tumblr user) gifted me an idea that involves Baz being a fanfic writer during the Watford years. I'm excited to start it, but I am determined to finish The Heart in The Well first.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

lol, you know me. Too many. 8 at the moment.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Not currently. I'm more fighting with deciding how detailed to make upcoming scenes.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

🥰

I'll tag most everyone I know who (I think) has a current WIP, why not?

@iamamythologicalcreature, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @palimpsessed, @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @melodysmash, @onepintobean, @tea-brigade, @messofthejess, @larkral, @confused-bi-queer, @mooncello, @j-nipper-95, @facewithoutheart, @best--dress, @nightimedreamersghost,  @thewholelemon, @youarenevertooold, @cutestkilla, @artsyunderstudy, @ileadacharmedlife, @hushed-chorus, @prettygoododds, @whatevertheweather, @angelsfalling16, @noblecorgi, @bookish-bogwitch, and @blackberrysummerblog 

[despairforme]

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

[ Oh man this post got long (and surprisingly serious) fjfjfjffjjf I wrote this 2 days ahead of time because I was so excited about it ahahaha --- I'm wishing you all a wonderful 2024!!!!!

2023 was a year of surprising development for me. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, or if I'm simply moving into a different mindset. I loved this year! It was awesome, and I'm so happy to see that I've written MORE for Nnoitra this year than I did in 2022 ( even though my overall word-count went down from 290 000 to 280 000 ). I can't say I completed many of my goals ( or any of them LOL ). I had lots of goals for 2023, but I was unable to complete them. The past few months, especially, have brought forth big changes in my creative flow and focus.

I've realized that I need to change my priorities, to better fit my new mindset.

Roleplaying is no longer going to be my main focus. In the past, whenever I've wanted to write, I've always focused on finishing drafts, asks ect. I've mostly written on here, since that's what I prefer. Or, rather - what I used to prefer. This is not to say I don't have muse for Nnoitra, because I always feel inspired for him. What's changed are my priorities. I've come to the conclusion that what's important to me is creating stories. Since Nnoitra's story ( main verse ) has become so stagnant, it feels less important to me. I know I can drive the story on, push it forward and thus find it important once more, but - I don't want to do that. I want to create my own, original stories instead. Becoming a professional writer has always been my dream, and that's simply not possible to do when I'm prioritizing rping. Roleplaying is going to have to take the backseat.

--- That being said, I'm absolutely not quitting! I can't imagine myself not writing for Nnoitra, so I'll be writing on here like before, and I'll even try to be more consistent. An enemy of mine in 2023 has been procrastination. One of my goals for 2024 is to conquer this, so that I can be more efficient with my time. I think that by dedicating less time to roleplay, I'll be more efficient when I do sit down and write for my muses. My activity the past few months have been spotty, so I'd love to get into a better flow.

2024 GOALS:

FOCUS ON PERSONAL PROJECTS. I have a lot of them. Two (three?) book projects, two long OC-centered fanfictions.

WRITE FANDOM PROJECTS. I have a lot of ideas for fanfictions, and I want to make the time to write them. Some are long, some are short. Getting feedback on my stories has always been a great feeling, and fanfiction is the best way to get that serotonin.

CHANGE MY WRITING HABITS. My habits are bad. They lead to a ton of procrastination and wasted time. I want to be more structured when it comes to my writing time (and my time in general, but especially my writing time). I want to stick to schedules, word-count goals, page goals ect. Conquering procrastination is going to be key.

CONSISTENT RP POSTING. Even though I won't be focusing on roleplaying, I still intend to do it regularly and get replies and asks out in a more timely manner. I'll probably set off some time in the evening to get replies done, and have some fun on the dash when others are online. I'll try to be consistent across my blogs, not just on Nnoitra.

CREATE THINGS THAT ARE PHYSICAL. I've come to realize that I love things that translate to the real world. Not just words on a screen, or a digital artwork, but things that you can touch. It's why I've absolutely fallen in love with watercolor painting. I'm going to try to print some of my writing work so that I have physical copies. I'm also going to print my art so that I can hold it in real life.

FIND A SHIP FOR NNOITRA. It's been so long since I wrote a ship for him, and I need it back in my life. I've been looking for a ship for him the whole time, but I need to put more effort in, and let him interact with more characters, as well as continue to develop the relationships he does have ( in case one of them turns romantic? ). I'd love for 2024 to be the year Nnoitra falls in love again.

I am SUPER excited for 2024! I love new years and fresh starts, and I feel so incredibly inspired by the changes in my mindset. I feel like I've been stuck for a good while with rping. Don't get me wrong, I've loved every second of it, and I've learnt so much about writing - and met the most amazing people. It's just that it's time for a change. Time for me to create other kinds of stories. I thought that things were aligned for me to write books last year, but I really didn't have the right mindset - but now I do! I'm hyped!! Hope you're ALL going to have the most amazing 2024 guys!! ]

[trashlie]

it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....

AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF

Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!

One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol

But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!

I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.

On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?

But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.

So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.

But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?

Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.

a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.

b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!

And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.

and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO

I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.

Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;

I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?

Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;

STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY

ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ

[unma]

Thoughts of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley?

idk why it took me so long to answer this, but I remembered that this was sitting in my inbox just now so I might as well. I'm going to assume you came here because you wanted to hear my actual thoughts on the game in good faith and not so you could find someone new to harass.

I like the game and really want to see what happens next. I love how dysfunctional both characters are, and it's fun to see awful people be put in awful situations and do awful things to survive. Especially when they're surrounded by equally awful people (and demons too I guess).

The hate over the game was stupid and was basically just people going "I can accept cannibalism, murder and demon summoning, but I draw the line at incest," which is frankly hilarious and one more reason I simply don't touch twitter anymore. Incidentally, you could probably dig through my posts and find an old one of mine where I opined that the game wasn't going down the incest route after chapter 1... That aged like milk, lol.

All in all, I wish the dev well. Nemlei didn't deserve being harassed off the internet, and I wish I could play the rest of their games. I actually had their itch.io page open at the time, so it was a shame to suddenly see it go blank. Oh well, that's on me for procrastinating so much.

I'd ramble on more about how I love the game's deep exploration of themes, and- actually, scrap that. I'm coming back in 5 minutes and I'll write my thoughts over both of the characters under the cut.

Ashley is pure evil. Is what I would say if I was someone who believed any person could be distilled down to those two words. No, she is very clearly a product of her downright terrible upbringing, and her downright obsessive love for Andrew is shown time and time again to be a product of her emotionally isolated childhood in which Andrew was the only one who ever gave her love. He was the only person who actually treated her like a person. Anyone with that kind of childhood is bound to end up at least a little maladjusted, so Ashley as a person is not unrealistic in the slightest. Her sabotage of Andrew is also rather clearly a method to ensure he will never leave her, even if he reassures her time and time again that he would never do so. Ironically, as her visions show, it may be her own obsessive actions that cause him to finally abandon her, which is just the most delicious flavour of ironic tragedy indeed.

Andrew is a coward. Through and through. I feel for him constantly, but he truly, truly, needs to learn to say no to Ashley. Or, well, he should've learnt to do that before she forced him into their current position. And yet, he's not malicious or actively evil. He's passively evil, in fact, though using the word 'evil' feels like hyperbole. He's consistently trying to never make a choice, and hoping he can simply pass on all responsibility to Ashley. And while I get where he's coming from, given everything they do and go through, he doesn't realize that not making a choice is still a choice, and he still did commit many of those deeds even if at Ashley's behest. At first, I wanted to pretend like he was completely innocent in the games, but it really doesn't take a genius to realize he's completely wrong about how responsibility works.

I'd say more, but it's been a while since I've watched Manly's playthrough of the games. My memory is rather fuzzy now. But feel free to ask more questions if you'd like.

[softhairedhotch]

no, thank YOUUUU <3333 and it's okay HEHE remember to take it easy!!! 🫶 i can tell u for sure i will be here ready to absorb and consume n love anything that u create <3333 ive already read ur new fic Too Many Times . it struck sooo many chords like . I WOULD REALLY DO ALL THAT 😭😭 n ya fr there's too many good ideas out there to explore n there's only so much you can do at One moment. i personally have this long standing problem of starting sooo many things that i cannot finish bc i'm a master procastinator... so the only way i function is with looming deadlines ☠️ wish i was getting paid to just sit down n think about aaron bc man... i'd be a millionaire by now 🗿

TEHEEHHEE OMGGG PLEASEEE PHONE SEX . another big weakness of mine . idk how many times ive said smth is my weakness BUT like there's just some tropes that NEVER GETS OLD ... also sometimes i focus so much on aaron n how he makes you feel that i don't think about how HE would be so affected by everything about you GOSSHHHHHH please . like you're captivated by him but he's literally also soooo smitten and down bad for you to that he has to fight his urges to just give into anything that u want 😭😭 but unfortunately he can't always magically teleport to wherever you are so he just talks you through it and gives you such clear instructions BRRRR IMAGINE IF HE USES HIS WORK VOICE BC HE WANTS YOU TO LISTEN TO HIM EXACTLY STEP BY STEP . like my god i can't believe how i can giggle n kick my feet whenever cm has a scene of aaron giving instructions n delegating work to the team... like it's just so hot . n when he shows off his intelligence WOWOWWEEWW major turn on . n wooooof.

AND??!?$$;&; him sending pictures of himself 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ also i love the idea of aaron being away from u but being soo pent up that he takes the initiative to surprise you with a special video of him jerking off or using a toy <333 and u BET he knows to send it with sound so you can hear all the sounds he's making <333 bc what is nut videos without SOUND 😤😤😤

omg.. i luv daddy kinks BRRRR n sometimes it just especially HITS SO HARD . like omfg got me actively looking for those daddy asmr porn audios 😭😭😭😵‍💫😵‍💫 sometimes it takes awhile to find a good one but when i strike gold... Wow . GODDD i know aaron would say such filthy things that are downright insulting n degrading... BUT HE DOES IT IN THE SOFT AFFECTIONATE VOICE sparkled with some praises... AGRGRHRHHH .

omg REALLLL he's SOOO the type to make you say what you want directly in words. he isn't going to budge if you're just whining n hoping he'd take the hint bc he himself also loves to hear such filthy things come out of your mouth <3333 "you know daddy really loves to give you whatever you want... but not if you don't use your words. come on, does your pretty little mouth only function as daddy's cocksleeve?" HARGRHRHEHEJE i am Dead . n STOPPPP ENCOURAGING MEEEE ure gna make the can of worms EXPLODE ABOUT ALL THE FILTHY THOUGHTS ABT AARON'S CUM PLSSSS (not actually complaining ! i am Egged)

also omg... TEEHEE... i will tell u more abt my lovely male oc soon!!!! omfg im SO EXCITED . bc i literally have never talked about it to anyone even though i've thought abt it in such detail LMFAOOOO its just hard out there to find someone who shares the same brain ... damn 😭 i'm really glad i happened to stumble across ur page n decided to send an ask <333 bc i rly enjoy talking to u too!!!!! <3

-🤲

you're so sweet bless <3 hehe i'm glad you liked my new fic!! and YEAH I GETCHA omg that used to be me, like i couldn't do stuff without deadlines, AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN DO THINGS WITH DEADLINES LMAO. sometimes i can, but if i set it myself then you best believe it ain't getting done. i procrastinate sooooo much it's painful. like i could sit here and write for most of the day because rn i currently do NOTHING ELSE in my life (rip, i'm working on it lol) but do i??? no!! i mean that's just a lot of effort innit lol, writing constantly sounds exhausting even tho it's all i wanna do

phone sex my beloved <3 and awwww yeahhh he'd be sooo so so in love with you and he'd wanna do anything and everything you ask :') but GOD YEAH him using his work voice?? all stern and professional and demanding?? goddd i need that so bad. and YESSS when he shows of his intelligence it's soooo hot, like that one scene where he does the maths and penelope goes "is this reid?" and he goes "what, you impressed?" YES I AM BABE I LOVE YOU SM

i loooooove the idea of his sending pics <333 that's why i love looking at nsfw stuff sm bc sometimes i strike GOLDDDDD and its like the most aaron pic ever and it makes me lose my mind. once i found one that was so him i fully forgot to breathe and was blushing like mad (this one i think!). it was... a lot LMFAO. but god god GOD him sending a video of him jerking off when on a case??? i need that soooo so so much. and yes FR there needs to be sound in nut videos. once was sent one from a guy WITHOUT SOUND like babe? dude? what are you doing? where's the fun in that? i mean it was hot don't get me wrong but i was like "buddy wheres the sound at 🤨" LMAOOO

YESS I KNEW YOU WOULD BE INTO DADDY KINKS LMFAOOOO. and omg real, they're sometimes so good and for what. or any video of someone with daddy vibes,, godddddd sometimes it just HITS FR. YESS HIS VOICE WOULD BE SO SWEET AND GENLTE AND LOVING BUT ALSO DOMINATING AND THE STUFF THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS SOOOO FILTHY N HOT

yessssssss he'd looove to hear you say what you need. "come on, little one, let daddy know what you want, hm? i need to hear you say how much you want my cock" and "you want me to ride you, sweetheart? want daddy to ride you until you can't cum anymore? hm? let me hear you say those words, baby, i need to hear you say it."

and yayyy i'm so excited to hear about your oc!! i can't WAIT it's gonna be soooo good i just kNOW IT. i'm also really glad you stumbled across my page too <33 thanks for sending me all these asks!!!!

[fandomsbyladymelodrama]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I haven't been tagged in this one (yet) but I'm in a major procrastination mood this morning so answering tumblr questions is currently way more appealing than actual writing so let's do this XD

How many works do you have on AO3? 67 1/2 - the 1/2 is because I have a very little Obidala-ish thing which is currently sitting in my files waiting to be published when I find an extra minute (like right now, for instance, except that I'm doing a survey instead oops ;))

What's your total AO3 word count? Ummm...let's just say if I had a dollar for every word of fanfic I've ever written, my bank account would be very, very happy.

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly Game of Thrones. But my full fandoms list has 25 unique fandoms, some major, some minor, and some where the entire tag is owned by me.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Île Aux Ours, Jamais T'oublier, Sunrise on the Jade Sea, La Nuit Venait, The Heir of Riverrun which are all Jorleesi fics except for THOR, which I'm pleasantly surprised to find so high in the rankings (although to be fair there's Jorleesi in that one too :)). And just because I was curious, my top five excluding any Jorleesi content are: New World Symphony (Vicbourne - oh I loved them so, history be damned), Dreams and Dragonglass (Viserys x Alicent from HotD), A Girl, A Drowned Man (ahem, Jaime Lannister x Arya Stark - don't even ask XD), over time and tide and death leaping (Obidala4Ever <3), and Easily onward, thorough flowers and weed (Siegfried x Audrey from the new All Creatures Great & Small - S5 is our season friends, I can feel it)

Do you respond to comments? Yes, all of them (except for the obvious trolls). I heart my readers and have had such good times in the comment section <3 Speaking of which, I'm behind with replies again. Just know my inbox is glaring at me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ummm, that's a hard one because I usually reach for the fluff endings with both hands. But I suppose...right now it's got to be my Hunger Games fic, and she gained the willow tree. I mean, it's intensely angsty, even more so than the source material, and may remain that way forever (at least until I update it and fix what I broke lol)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Almost all of my Jorleesi fics have unabashedly happy endings but I think Île Aux Ours edges out the others just because basically everyone (spoiler alert: except for Viserys, Rhaegar and the Night King) live! And all my ships survive! And House Mormont is flourishing! And the Seven Kingdoms are at peace for once! (at least until I write the sequel ;))

Do you get hate on fics? Only on the Game of Thrones fics, and relatively speaking, very, very rarely. It was slightly more common right at the end of Game of Thrones (people had feelings) but it's almost completely died off in recent years...which is a relief. Because trolls are easily ignored but they don't make anyone's day brighter.

Do you write smut? Again, rarely. But, ya know, sometimes things happen ;)

Do you write crossovers? Yes, but usually it's not what I would consider a true crossover. More me adapting one film/series to the setting/plot/characters of another. The only true crossover I've ever written is, I believe, this one: light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling (where Tom Bombadil and Melisandre of Asshai meet up and make a trade - sometimes writing brains are weird)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not that I know of? Although I had a reader request permission to translate a couple of my Jorleesi fics into Russian so that may have happened and I just never received a link from them.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Ohhhh, yesssssss. My forever partner-in-Jorleesi-crime is @salzrand <3 9 fics and counting :)

What's your all-time favorite ship? Based on my writing activity over the last 5-6 years, I think there's really only one correct answer here and it's the lobsters. A bear and his dragon-girl. A princess and her steadfast knight. They're perfect, they're dreamy. And forever inspiring. I cannot. But other than Jorleesi, I have to give top billing to Jane/Lisbon, Obi-Wan/Padme, Dickon/Mary, Jean Valjean/Fantine, Christy/Neil, Lexie/Mark because these are ships that have stayed with me for at least a decade or longer and are part of my DNA at this point.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ugh. Don't talk to me about unfinished fics. They judge me with their Chapter 1/? eyes. They glare at me disapprovingly each time I log into AO3. And I know that there are a few that have been waiting on an update for a long, long time (and some of you have probably given up hope that I'll ever return to them), but never say never...at least until I'm dead XD

What are your writing strengths? I think I have a flair for writing scenery and believable multi-generational family dynamics. I also think I'm fairly good at fixing canon disappointments with some fun and unique twists (it's the soap opera training, I swear XD). I try to keep dialogue very natural, characterization at least partly canon-based and do a lot of research for my fics on time-period details, with mostly successful results...lol well, that's the hope anyway. And I think another strength that has made me successful in writing age-gap ships especially is that I can write character relationships in a way that might go beyond the whole attraction thing and touch on deeper connections (or something).

What are your writing weaknesses? Endings. Aren't they everyone's? Titles. And my pacing can be off sometimes. I think I get away with it in fic-writing for the most part but I have a few fics that aren't as "tight" as they could be. There are a few words/phrases that I rely on too much. And I'm sure I have a bunch of others that I'm unaware of.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I haven't done this much and I really don't venture outside French if I try it. I rely on friends who are native speakers to make sure I'm not saying anything off the wall.

First fandom you wrote for? Titanic 😍 I had to save Thomas Andrews. He looked so sad and despairing winding that clock at the end. I should have probably saved Leo too but let's just assume in my version, Kate scooched over let him share the door XD

Favorite fic you've written? Impossible to choose. I love them all. Okay, okay, Sunrise on the Jade Sea. But only because you're forcing me to answer <3

Tagging: @clarasimone @gettingovergreta @toas-tea @bridgr6 @crushermyheart @heatherfield <3 Or be like me and tag yourself ;)

[ao3dorian-gay]

tagged by @thehollowone16 :) thank u !!

writing procrastination game!!!

1. What's the name of one of your Wips?

"A Field of Mirror" taken from one of my fav poems, decribing standing on a frozen lake.

2. Describe a Wip in the format of __+__=__

open heart, closed eyes = wrong-genre savvy double blind + redemption

3. What tags/warnings will one of your Wips need if you share it?

...unhealthy relationships, usuallyy lol

4. Alternative title to a Wip?

i have a hard time coming up with one title lol. I guess for "life and death by water" maybe something like "that which cannot be stilled" to keep the river / persistence theme ? but idk.

5. Which Wip are you most likely to update/finish next?

god who knows. theres a lot of close to finished things I just can't figure out how to polish or be happy with

6. What is one of your Wip's document title, not its name but what you have it saved as?

"hakutsuki" is the fun one. most are just the title or shorthand (like "nwt kbt" for the random crossover idea w atla. i should start keeping chapters separately. i just use headers so i can navigate easily.

7. Post any sentence from your Wip?

“I didn’t know they made them so polite in Kiri, hm. I thought they were all. Filed teeth and, you know,” Deidara mimicked a growling beast, sounding not unlike how Zabuza had in the early morning.

8. A scrapped idea from your wip?

I was going to have Haku recognize the Akatsuki because of when Itachi & Juzo tried to kill Yagura and failed, since that was before Zabuza left Kiri (given that the blade fell into his hands *after* it was in Juzo's), and have him resent Itachi further for leaving Yagura weakened but alive instead of trying to kill him. I think I'm leaving that out; i don't see Yagura --only survivor besides Itachi -- telling people how close his defeat was. just that he reclaimed kubikiribocho and now it's zabuza's

9. What's a story you'd love to write but have yet to start?

soo many. really want to work more on my A:TLA and Batman crossover ideas at some point.

10. How many Wips are you actively working on?

actively ??? ...pass. no, uh. maybe 5 actively but just shifting between my interests that day.

11. Is there a scene you're struggling to write right now?

ughh i'm really struggling to get "open hearts" back on track to my original goal. i had a vague outline and we're all out of whack. I need to plan and maybe revise just so I figure out how to get to the next ponit.

12. Not a question but a second kudos!

Tagging: entelechies if u want!1;;;; idk. anyone who wants to fill this out just say i tagged you pls ;;

[cosmicalart]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

Thank you @valeffelees for tagging me, I've seen this going around and been in the mood for ask games so this is great.

🦈 Tell us the name of one of your WIP(s)

Baz to The Past

🍄 Describe one of your WIPs in the format of “___ + ___ =___”  

witness protection + freedom = runaway simon

🌍 What tags or warnings will your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

Gonna answer this with my original story as most of my fics don't really have warnings. Alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sexual violence, eating disorders, homophobia (historical and modern), gore, body horror (in the monster sense), domestic abuse, abusive relationships, PTSD, generational trauma, and suicidal thoughts. There's probably a lot more as I work on it, this story starts out very dark, everybody is fucked up, but a lot of the story is about the characters dealing with these things and recovering so its suppose to end on a much happier note

🧭 An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

No idea lol

⚠️ Which WIP you’re most likely to finish or update next?

Baz to the Past, everything else is still in just the brainstorming/plotting stages, but I'm still slowly working on BTTP

💾 What is the document of your WIP called? (Not the story title, but what you’ve saved it as.)

Time travel fic (thats what my outline for Baz to The Past is called lol)

🖍 Post any sentence from your WIP

(This is from a different time travel fic)

The window had lost its chill after the first hour, my breath leaving a permanent fog. By this point, I couldn’t focus on the scene passing by, the vibrations of the glass against my head coupled with the radio had a headache building behind my eyes. And yet, I didn’t care enough to move at the moment.

♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP

Had a character in my original story I was gonna have be a lesbian but scrapped that for her to be alloaro as it felt like it fit her character more (plus being somewhat aspect myself I wanted to add some rep)

🤔 What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Paranormal youtuber snowbaz

🤡 How many WIPs are you actively working on?

Actively, 3. In total I probably got like 8 in some stages of progress

🛠 Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Chapter four of BTTP, when simon and Baz come back from dinner

❤️ Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

Hell yeah

This was really fun. Apologies for any duplicates, idk whos done this or not, and no pressure to do it.

@letraspal @kianlime @thewholelemon @that-disabled-princess @cultofsappho @krisrix @larkral @ionlydrinkhotwater @facewithoutheart @martsonmars

[ckmstudies]

July 31st:

Yesterday was a bad day. Today was much better! I did 21 hours of work last week and will be aiming for a minimum of 25 hours this week which means I'm off to a bad start already since I only did two and a half hours today. I spent a total of five hours spread over two days working through a single module because it just wasn't making sense. I cried over it, accepted that I just didn't know the material, went to sleep, and then worked my way through it today. I was expecting to spend maybe three hours on this module so I'm now thoroughly behind. Tomorrow's goals include at least four hours studying and completing modules two and three of area two. I've started module two already tonight and only have the multiple choice questions and task based simulations left.

Today's accounting topic: The overall cost of capital (also called the company's hurdle rate) is the rate of return required to cover the cost of resources employed and make the investment financially feasible. (this is the question that broke me and made me go an hour long rant about how interest rates are fake aka human constructs b/c they are and therefore are stupid haha)

Other activity: While I was at the beach last week I lost my credit card the first day we were down there which really upset me but I found it today!!! I dumped my purse when I lost it but I carry my checkbook in my purse (b/c I'm a grandma who might need to write a check at some point lol) and the card had fallen in between the checks. Very grateful to have it back and to have procrastinated ordering a new card lol

[formulatrash]

41, 55, 65 for the 30s asks :)

What's the oldest thing you own?

a knitted toy called Teddymouse who no longer looks like a teddy or a mouse and sleeps in my bed with me. I'm not 100% sure of his origins except that he's handmade and must be the same age if not older than me; I get a bit stressed if he's in poor condition (bits of him tend to detach because age) so I don't get to hug him for a bit.

Favourite high-effort meal you make?

hmmmm this is tricky because if I'm cooking it does tend to be high-effort. I do really good roasts (for someone who couldn't give a shit about the concept of roasts/is borderline actively opposed to them) and the Christmas (godless western version) dinner is always good. but I guess maybe kharcho, which takes a long time to cook - it's a spicy beef stew/soup which is thickened with rice cooked long enough to dissolve, almost like congee (sometimes the rice is just there but it's best when it's properly becoming one with the soup) and it takes fucking ages and means going to like 10 specialist shops to get the spices but also it's the most delicious thing on earth and I've just made myself really want some now.

Anything you're procrastinating on right now?

the worst thing I'm procrastinating on is phoning a bunch of debt collection agencies who are chasing me about money I owe on defaulted credit cards. I don't really know what to do about it so I've just been doing nothing, which isn't a practical solution even if it has worked for 10 months and counting. I know perfectly well there are charities you can speak to for advice but the whole thing is so shameful and awful and overwhelming and shit I don't have the resources (mental or financial) to deal with so I guess we will find out what happens when they get bored of writing to you! I think ultimately I'll probably end up in court and then say: well I don't have any money and end up ordered to pay them 50p a month for the rest of my life or something. oh well, wasn't going to get a mortgage anyway was I lol. life! it just keeps happening really.

[vanes-lawlol]

Random post after a long absence 👍

Ahoy folks, just feel like writing and posting this.

Thanks so much for coming over (following me) and checking out my works btw! Sorry I'm not much of an active bastard myself.

First of all, I wanna say I am ashamed for prolonging so long of my olnf week entries lol - I said I would blaze them but apparently my energy spike wasn't really into it and I've been procrastinating for too long (not exactly - just being busy with irl stuff [thumbs up]). I'm planning to continue uploading stuff for it even though I've been so late. Mostly uploading them on my twit first of all, and then here when I have the time.

Second of all, as you've noticed, I haven't uploaded any more drawings... Despite me have been drawing stuff in my own time. Thing is, I just have been away from social media for a good while because of the recent things happening over here in Indonesia (thumbs up). It's quite political and I'm not one to usually ponder about stuff like that much (or any drama in general). I've seen how one-sided the peeps are here in the social media, and I've been wanting to hear more of the other side but the news don't cover much, which frustrates me lol. So I just decided to not mind it much and avoid social media.

This second stuff also affects my will to draw unfortunately, and it's been eating me alive, as cringy as that sounds. But the important date is upon us just a few days away and I think I wanna be able to draw more. Look forward to that I guess?

Also DAMN I WANT THAT MONSTER HUNTER WILDS DEMO WHEN WILL IT BE RELEASED PUBLICLY ISTG

That's about it I guess, have a good one! (thumbs up) (nervously laughing because I'm not sure I'll be drawing anything despite me saying I might)

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

Last Line Tag Game

Rules: In a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or however many you like).

i'm piggybacking off of @joelletwo! i was actively procrastinating on writing this fic when i saw this lol so i'll share my last lines and then go work on it. tagging @garecc and @perennii if you're up to it!

"Aw, I missed. I'm not very good with a gun." "Someone will come in—" "Oh, no, what a shame for them."