#i wouldnt be such a burden

[bunnieswithknives]

erm can we see more deer dale he's so silly

Deer Dale!!! Now with full antler face like I initially intended but could not figure out how to draw at the time

[skyscrapergods]

Do Cadence or Twilight ever regret not being able to gift Shining Armor with ascension like them or are they happy he was able to live out his normal life without becoming a god?

Not everyone is mentally suited to immortality. And this time, they actually asked first instead of doing an immortality jumpscare.

Cadance and Twilight didn't get a choice. Ascension was thrust upon them by Celestia. They had to come to terms with it after the fact, realizing they would outlive all their friends and have the responsibility of an entire force of nature in their hooves. They would watch countries rise and fall, see extinctions and new ways of living. Strange technology and customs, and slowly feel their life elongating until it was beyond mortal comprehension. An alicorn has to be ok with this. And alicorn should want this. It's a gift as much as a curse.

Shining Armor cares about the ponies in his life. He knows they will miss him, he will miss them as well. But he wants to stay among his friends, his parents, and his kingdom.

Shining armor said no. He said I have served Equestria my entire life, and one day I will rest.

His family is made of immortal mares. They could force it upon him to ease their own hearts, to prevent their own grief... But they won't. Love and friendship know more about being a person than the Sun.

It is his choice. He will not be the God Prince of Protection. He will simply be Shining Armor, and consider his life well lived.

[venjt]

Sora! 💕

[funnybido]

you honestly might take the cake for the most dedicated blog to the most forgotten about character but by god are you running this blog like an ARMY!! i think you are singlehandedly the only reason anyone walks away from fma remembering who bido was. i love you.

[felixravinstills]

sometimes, i really hope that i am not the biggest felix ravinstill fan in the world... but also the fact that there might be someone who is a bigger fan than me is terrifying... like literally awe-inspiring... can you imagine?

[jennrypan]

Genuinely..need Adrien to become a villain atp.

Cuz Marinette is..certainly making some fucking choices.

[skunkes]

the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)

but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.

the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore

[becauseplot]

Thinking about what would happen if Chayanne died. Thinking about how q!Phil promised he would burn the server to the ground. Thinking about how q!Phil would want to raze the island until the earth itself felt a fucking fraction of the pain tearing through his heart, until the flames just narrowly held a candle to the fury burning in his veins.

Thinking about little hands, soft hands, trembling hands, curling into the hem of his haori and clinging to his side. Thinking about Tallulah doing everything in her power to keep him grounded, to keep him here.

It's a lot to ask of such a young girl, especially one who is grieving the same death as him. But, she knows her abuelito better than he thinks she does. She knows from his bedtime stories of his solitary travels, from his aversion to crowds, from his isolated, wall-top home that he is lonesome by nature. She knows from his ruthlessness in battle, from his sharp grin at the fall of a foe, from the binary axe hanging on his back that violence is like breathing to him.

She can lose him to this, well and truly lose him---and she is through with losing people.

So she clings. Despite how difficult it is, she pulls herself out of bed each morning and asks her abuelito if they can do the day's quests. She insists that, no, she doesn't want to stay home today, and no, she doesn't want to do them with Tio Bad or Tio Fit or Tio Cellbit or anyone else on the island, she wants to do them with him; and then she pesters him until he agrees. They explore caves and go fishing and fight monsters and make all manner of strange tools. She plays songs on her flute whenever she has a breath to spare, because she knows he can't stand the quiet. (She can't stand it either.) She complains about avocado toast until he caves and makes her something else to eat.

She remembers every single time he dried the tears from her cheeks---every time that he held her face in his hands and told her that her father loves her, and that her abuelito loves her, and that she would never be alone again, not if he had anything to say about it---and she sends all that love right back to him.

She makes sure he has a reason to stay. She makes sure that he knows that he is still needed. 

Because she needs him. Now, more than ever, she needs him here.

(And he needs her too.)

[zzz1gzag]

Cyno would be such a scraggly, crusty creature if it wasnt for the fact he makes the girlypopiest of friends.

His hair is choppily cut but forever silky smooth. Half the time when hes not on duty its braided because collei wants to learn how to braid hair.

A scholar anxious about the general Mahamatra watches him set up camp. He pulls out a bottle of sunscreen, with a note tied to it thats simply labeled "T", if the scholar could flip to the other side, they would find a detailed explanation on the new sunscreen tighnari's concocted.

Everywhere in sumeru or mondstat there is danger that someone might see him and drag him off to "practice makeup on his face". Dehya covers the desert. Kaveh the forest and city, and Lisa, in Mond. Kaveh insists on painting his nails while they're at it too.

Cyno never buys clothes for himself, all his clothes are sent to him with cards attached. Different handwritings, but equally cursive.

His pantries are randomly stocked with mondstat delicacies.

[feath-r-hopper]

hey i like you [headbutts you. headbutts you. headbutts y]

[kaurwreck]

you remind me of a time i wish i could go back to; a time in which i would obsessively read and keep reading about anything that interested me slightly. i would stumble into entirely new ways of thinking with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop, and learn to engage with it on its own terms. the ability got lost somewhere in the haze that was school and uni and people and work and now i’ve… lost the ability to think on my own. it comes maybe twice a month, in random bursts, and i fucking hate that i don’t have access to it continuously anymore. i hate that now when i’m bored i can’t think up stories in my head and chew on ideas in my free time. i see you and i’m so happy and so envious; i wish for my thirst for life back. i’m so tired. i’m saying this to you because, of all people, might be able to see it clearly. i respect the fact that you managed to retain it to adulthood or beyond is so much. you don’t know how much that means to me, as a young adult.

If it helps, I don't read nearly as much as I did as a kiddo. Like, not even remotely close. Quite frankly, I've only recently gotten back into reading lit, after years of only reading comics and manga, and not nearly at the volume I did before.

But! There are all sorts of opportunities to engage with stories and ideas and reconnect the synapses that spit where they used to spark. Once, in the throes of a heavy and prolonged period of uncertainty, I was gripped by the color of spray paint on the sidewalk on the way to pick up an espresso while sleep deprived. I consciously chose to stop and appreciate it.

Which is to say, I also get exhausted and burnt out and go through periods where I wonder if I've lost some fundamental part of myself. But then I rest or I change my routine or I receive an affirmation I didn't realize I desperately needed, and my verve returns, as it does. I think having pediatric onset bipolar disorder has advantaged me in this regard because even when I feel like nothing, I know that the intensity will return, and that it will continue to ebb and flow like the tides. I used to dread the ebb, but the ebb has its own value, too; in the ebb is where I nurture roots.

But to my earlier point, there are lots of stories and ideas buried in all sorts of moments. We can imbue meaning in the things we do as an observed ritual until it becomes habit until it becomes sincere. And for the periods in which we can't, it's worth remembering that the winter solstice is the longest evening of the year, but the sun will come back because it always has. In the meantime, you can stoke a hearth and sip on coaxed together warmth while tucking into your memory this grief so that you will recognize what you've been missing when it returns, so that feeling excited is remarkable enough to cut the present ennui. In time, you'll start to feel substance in the contours of the grief, too, because to be exhausted and numb and tired means that you exist enough to be anything at all.

And, if you're too untethered from yourself for even that, find something mundane and look for a glimmer of anything worth observing. If you can't find anything, choose to give some facet of what you see meaning anyway.

(It's not that the sidewalk was purple. It's that I chose to see that it was that particular, beautiful shade of purple rather than remain adrift into my own ether and, in doing so, tethered my intangible enormity in something tangible enough for me to stoke while I weathered the season.)

If you practice enough, this becomes muscle memory. Same with thinking on your own. I don't think reading is ever enough on its own anyway; sometimes, we mirror ideas and mistake them for our own. Or we encounter ideas but don't allow ourselves to be changed by them.

It's why it's important to engage intentionally, and it doesn't have to be with text. It can be with movies, art, those around us, our environment, our own understanding of the world, the condensation on a window. Mindfulness helps, but so does adopting the mindset of a toddler and asking why? Constantly. Again, it may begin as a rote exercise, but the more you do it, the more it becomes muscle memory. If you think you know something, consciously stop and ask why? Where did you learn that? What assumptions does your conclusion rely on? Could there be another explanation? Pretend you're someone else for a moment, a favorite character or historical figure or loved one. What would they think given the same facts? Also important is saying, like a toddler, because I said so! as the only reason you need. Try things for the sake of having not tried them before. There's a reason why Lao Tzu advises being like a newborn baby, soft boned with a strong grip.

There's very little I do, read, watch, or consume that I don't think about applying elsewhere, too. This is sometimes exhausting. But it's also where I get my well of passion. Because there's always an opportunity for meaning, my life bursts with it.

This doesn't mean I don't still have rough weeks or months or years. I have bipolar, adhd, cptsd, and social phobia; I have frequent insomnia and sleep paralysis, etc. etc. But I look forward to what I might learn next, and there's purpose and intention to how I experience even my lows. The life I'm currently living is so unlike where I came from, in part because I decided I wanted meaning and purpose. Before I knew what that was supposed to look like, I picked a direction and strove for it, feeling out what I couldn't see. I still do, when necessary. It will always be necessary.

So, while I don't know if what works for me will work for you, I can promise that something will excite you again, eventually. Adulthood isn't a linear decline or a separation from yourself. It's variable and dynamic, and you have agency in what you do with that. There isn't any objective meaning or purpose to be assigned, so you get to choose it for yourself, and it can be as variable and dynamic as you need it to be. So, if you don't want to grow into someone who can't think on your own, you don't have to. If you don't like your current state of mind, you don't need to settle in it.

tl;dr: It's not what I've retained, it's that I've ebbed and flowed and changed, and given myself the space to clumsily stumble towards what I want and what I value, even if I'm not always sure what those are. I'm letting go of the construct that I have to be anything, and I emphatically choose not to be lots of things. It's a process, and it's nonlinear. But nothing is, and there's grace in the inevitably of ebb.

[arsenicflame]

hi so, checking in (sorry, its personal bullshit again, ill get back to the fandom stuff you actually wanted,,,, eventually)

things. are going bad. like, really bad, like last january bad. like im about to lose all my personhood again bad. im hoping its still just going to be a small blip and things will start upticking soon, but. im bracing for that not to be the case. it feels different to me

i vaguely mentioned earlier in the week taking a bit of a step back, and ive decided to extend that into a full break. my queues probably going to run out before im back, though i have slowed it down some. thatll be the only noticable difference for 99% of people. i wont guarantee any dm responses on here, but ill do my best for the couple of people who have me on discord

i didnt really want to do this again but it gets messy in my head, and ive found the best way to control the clawing beast of attention and need and the things that make me want to be a person i dont want to be is to cut it off at the source. its not nice, and it hurts, and it definitely kills the chances of making friends but. i promise you its better than the alternative.

ill see you when i see you, i guess. i hope its soon. i hope this isnt how it feels to be. i hope the feelings that have existed this week go dormant again. but itll be what itll be. i can't change that

[bulldagger-bait]

When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

[cerealmonster15]

the block button isnt enough i need to set things on FIRE

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

[tomatoland]

tw: death

———

Honestly, if I didn't know Only Friends was a Thai BL/BL-adjacent, I would start to suspect Mew wasn't real. Because he speaks like Ray’s and Top's better angel, saying the things you would expect a therapist to say.

Why he's omniscient and mysterious

Why he's the narrator

That everything happening now is not really happening because Mew is the one person who could have saved Top and Ray from disaster, their own self-destructive behavior, but he doesn't exist.

Because if Top hadn't met Mew would he still be in Boston's clutches, being manipulated and having his boundaries violated, cheating on whoever was his current bf or Beam's, using harder and harder drugs and sex to seek obliteration.

And here with Ray. Obviously this scene is very much about Ray and Khaotung did an amazing job, but notice how Ray doesn't react much to Mew' physical presence and if Mew were not there, this scene could have played out in the exactly the same way. Maybe Mew is the loving presence that Ray badly needed. Or maybe Mew is Ray's guardian angel and this is "I'm with you til the very end"

Because doesn’t this seem similar

Everyone is so mad at my boy, Mew, but he's doing the best he can. He just can't interact much with the physical plane. That's why he has to use persuasion to convince everybody, duh.

All this being said, Only Friends IS a BL about relationships, so this is not going to be the case.

I'm still gonna need to see Mew interacting with other people besides Top and Ray ASAP though.