#i wouldn't be this upset over that
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hey so i really dont appreciate being confronted with graphic depictions of something that i know is a trigger for me. like. i have a dozen tags and key words blocked around this one thing because i know it's my responsibility to curate my own online experience.
but if you're going to post this thing, which is vastly different from your regular content. with absolutely no appropriate tags. is extremely graphic. all for the sake of guilting me into caring about a current event i already care about but have fuckall control over as a poor cripple who lives oceans away. i really don't appreciate it.
#vent#look i already blocked the person who did it#and sure whatever im the asshole here by not caring enough to stare at something that's extremely triggering#because that's going to magically give me the ability to fix the issue#but im seriously fighting off a major goddamn panic attack rn and i am very not okay#might be quiet for a while#i no longer make any promises about my halloween posts#being bombarded from all sides about political issues i already had filtered so i had ONE place to get way from it#was the reason for my last multi-year hiatus#and this one hit an extremely specific trigger#i hope i can shake it off and be back quick#but fucks sake man what the hell#if you wanna post about something you find important that's great#but please tag#it's not like it was just a general post#i wouldn't be this upset over that#this was a very graphic image with zero warning#not cool
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I think Tallulah is lying to herself when she says she's scared of the new eggs. Not completely, I don't doubt they make her nervous, but I'd bet Sunny and Tubbo are the root of her fear and she doesn't want to admit it.
I'd bet Tallulah doesn't like that she doesn't like Sunny. She wants to like everyone, but she doesn't like Sunny. So it must be because the eggs are new, right? All the new eggs are scary. Because they came from that horrible island. Because we don't know what they want from us. She couldn't possibly dislike Sunny just because she's loud and brave and loved by someone who used to put her first.
We know Tallulah was overwhelmed the first time she met Sunny. Sunny came up and tried to say hello first thing and Tallulah got barely anytime between that introduction and discovering Sunny is Tubbo's kid.
She was overwhelmed that whole time through meeting Em and Sunny, but one of the only times we see her relax is when she's teasing Tubbo about relationships. Because she loves Tubbo; he always works to make her feel seen. Then he leaves immediately off with his daughter.
Then yesterday, we heard Tallulah's concerns re: the new eggs. She also expresses concern over Niki and Tubbo's reaction over her hesistance. Especially Tubbo. She brings up Tubbo the most. While she really loves Niki, they haven't spent that much time together. When Phil left, Niki was supposed to watch Tallulah but instead Tubbo cared for Chay and her by himself. That last week before they left, Tubbo spent the whole time making sure they stayed alive. He comforted her on that last day. He shooed the others away and brought them to uppies and sang Jort Storm!
And then on that island, he stayed by her the whole time in that awful room. Waving and dancing and keeping her attention even when things were confusing and her papi wasn't there and they were in danger.
But now he has a daughter. A daughter he's going to put first, the way he put her first. A daughter she saw with her own eyes who seems louder and cooler and braver than she's ever felt. Where does that leave her? Another person gone from her life? Left behind for something better?
Why would she want to know the egg that's taking someone else from her. An egg her papa says steals and takes and wants. An egg who stole and took and wanted Tubbo. An egg we don't know the background of.
Today I think showed proof of Tallulah's underlying insecurities with regards to Sunny and Tubbo. She was totally fine to ignore Pepito when he woke up. He didn't interact with her, but she stayed in the area. It could just be that he didn't interact with her so it was okay, but that's the point. Pepito isn't trying to take anything from her.
Sunny though? We saw Tallulah get upset and leave at the mere mention of Sunny when she asked about Tubbo's crown. Tubbo who's showing his daughter's ownership love of him at all times. She turned around and left immediately after he said that.
We haven't seen much interaction with Tallulah and the new eggs, for obvious reasons. That said, I bet when we do it'll become clearer that her concern is centred around one egg in particular! And it'll be GREAT angst because Tallulah doesn't want to dislike someone, but she does. What happens when she can't hide behind fear of the other eggs? Or her grounding? What does she do then?
#qsmp#qsmp tallulah#qsmp tubbo#qsmp sunny#if I had to guess where the story leads#I'd say Sunny is going to be increasing jealous of any Tubbo/Tallulah interactions (basically already true)#and Tallulah is going to be protective and jealous of her knowledge of Tubbo as a person#she is very empathetic and was already lasered onto him when he got upset today she noticed immediately#and she could easily conclude Sunny doesn't care enough about Tubbo to notice his pain#even tho Sunny is just a kid who Tubbo wouldn't want concerned about that shit#and Tubbo also wouldn't want Tallulah concerned about it but she's primed to notice anyway#and her insecurity over their relationship will lead to her trying to prove her value#but that's a guess it could easily go another way
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Hello I made you some more art!! IDK Why your little guys have just stuck in my brain as of late but yeah I'm just on a roll I guess!
This piece was inspired by wondering who was present around Machete's assassination, and how people around him would react to his downfall. So I had the idea for a portrait of a final lover's embrace, as Vasco holds his dying beloved in bloodsoaked arms.
I tried my best with the clothing -- especially the shoes -- and I think I did a pretty good job but BOY were they hard! XD Anyways, I hope you like this one, it was a blast to draw! I love machete sm istg <3
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#Machete#Vasco#own characters#coldandfoggy#gift art#hhhhadgasjgdshad???#THIS#¿¿¿¿¿#congratulations you've managed to deliver some immense mental damage through the ethers#and I mean that as a compliment I live for the moments when art just really Hits You Where It Hurts#loving the way the scarlet red of Machete's cassock blends seamlessly with the pool of blood#Vasco's expression speaks volumes#he was always a very touchy feely person so thinking of their final embrace just puts a pit in your stomach#poses like this are tricky but Machete looks appropriately limp and lifeless and at peace in a way that's cruelly ironic#the halo is a nice touch it kind of evokes pietà imagery#the clothing and the shoes look fine I wouldn't have guessed you had issues with them if you hadn't mentioned it#just a grand old liver punch this one#damn son#thank you for drawing the sad dog guys I'm very flattered they've made an impression! I know I'll be agonizing over this piece for a while#some potentially upsetting lore musings!! violence and tragedy and stuff:#I haven't cemented the chain of events yet but I believe he was ambushed by a single assailant when he was alone#either early in the morning or late evening#he didn't manage to put up much of a fight that time the first stab punctured a lung and the second nicked a carotid artery#I believe you lose consciousness in a minute or so and generally bleed out in less than three#Vasco wouldn't have been informed of the murder because why would he be and even if he somehow found out very quickly#the distance between Rome and Florence is roughly 250 km don't quote me on this but it looks like it'd take at least 4 days on horseback?#I think but I don't know how horses work to be honest#maybe they had some sneaky correspondence going on but if there was a pause in communications it wouldn't have been a cause for concern#so it's highly likely he'd only find out when he rolled in town for another business trip#and Machete had been buried weeks or months ago
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kaishin nation how are we feeling
#detective conan#dcmk#kaishin#movie 27 spoilers#detective conan spoilers#sorry i'm still not over this what even#i remember being upset that i wouldn't be in japan anymore in time to watch this movie#now i feel like i dodged a huge bullet bc i don't know how i would have dealt with hearing that reveal in the cinema lmaoo#probably would've questioned my japanese skills and thought that i just misheard things
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idea. since askdusttale answered an ask about where dust got his determination from (because dust has SOME determination just so he can remember the timelines and keep going against the human) and said it was totally up to personal interpretation on how he got his determination. so so so like what if what if dusttale's player did something similar to something new's player and changed dust's code to give him determination??? so dust and killer COULD BOTH had their codes tampered with??? the parallels would be INSANE. they both started off as sans and got their codes tampered with by the player but dust and killer went on two opposite paths. dust out of his own voalition decided to go against the human but killer had to team up with the human no choice at all. the opposite parallels go CRAZY oh god im tweaking
killer doesn't know exactly (since i forgot whether or not he can see codes or something like that. i swear there was an image of him describing fell and swap's code and then his own) but he can SENSE that something's off. something's different about dust that he doesn't quite know about. maybe it gets him to ask a bunch of questions that dust is definitely not open to answering because jesus man mind your own damn business but the question that really sets killer off is the way dust answers when he asks "so if you have determination then how did you get it?" and dust just shrugs his shoulders and said that one day he suddenly remembered the resets and then that's when he got it (and then goes back to mumbling to phantom paps or wtvr) and killer's just like. zomg. a sudden change in behavior or mentality that seemingly has no apparent reason related to the human???? like like like when he suddenly had to agree with the player despite literally never wanting to????? killer is over thinking the implications behind this
meanwhile dust is just annoyed now because killer keeps on following him. he keeps asking him strange questions. wtf why is the guy asking to see his SOUL that's incredibly personal???? he just wants to be left alone man he has no idea what's going on
#this is what happens when i go on my weekly ask dusttale scroll through i come up with ideas like this#one day killer asks dust if he knows about the players and creators#dust says no. and the moment killer starts explaining it to him he backs off#because dust is actually fucking going crazy at what he just barely said#there are people above us that control our stories??? our LIVES???#so he wasn't fighting against some random human but a literal god who wanted to play with him out of curiosity???#dust is never going to forget that conversation. killer knows even that one sentence changed him#dust is really paranoid now when he sees a human. immediately kills them compared to before#yk what let's make this nightmare's gang related! nm notices dust's paranoia toward humans#mans is getting upset because he's killing precious negativity. so he asks killer#killer wtf happened to dust i told you to watch over him and horror (sadly i cant drag him into this hc)#and killer's like i might've told him about creators and players and now he's probably having a crisis over his free will and stuff#yeahhhh that dust gets replaced asap. it's better to leave aus unaware of creators in the DUST (haha)#and then promptly replaces him. killer keeps on eyeing the new dust like#is it a dusttale thing? is it all dusts? or was that the only one? maybe this one KNOWS?#but in the end he leaves him alone bc nm told him too. he's still overthinking those implications though#GOD THIS IS SUCH A COOL FUCKING IDEA#askdusttale i love having freedom to come up with ideas like this BLESS 🙏🙏🙏#listen if there were a real canon reason dust gets determination then i wouldn't have this idea#but dusttale's canon is so loose and just structural its GREAT!!!! i love it#and the fact that the dusttale fics dont even change much to the lore??? just explains dusts personality better#HOW MANY MORE PARALLELS CAN THE MTT HAVE BEFORE THEY EXPLODE I SWEAR#killer sans#dust sans#nightmare sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#utmv#sans au#tricule rant
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Chapter 96 - Home Visits
#boku no hero academia#deku#izuku midoriya#bnha#my hero academia#i wonder how many people are going to be upset with me for siding with inko here KDFJHGKJ#but no like seriously i wouldn't let him go back to ua!! he almost DIED#MULTIPLE TIMES!!!#i would've pulled him out of that school after usj!!!#i'm sorrryyy but that's her SON and i KNOW he has a dream but he can chase that dream in ANOTHER HERO SCHOOL#ONE WITHOUT A BIG FAT TARGET ON IT!!!#and like let's also look at that kidnapping incident from inko's pov real fast#yes yes i know this isn't about katsuki but it is for a second okay hear me out right#you're a mom. and there's another family in your neighborhood. right?#and they have a kid your son's age!#they're friends but that's not really relevant right now#what IS relevant is a kid your son's age that you know. that you've probably babysat at least once. on your block. was kidnapped by villain#and sure he got home safe but that's not what MATTERS (well it does matter. it's good he got home safe) what MATTERS is that it HAPPENED#and it's not like it happened at like the mall or something or somewhere your son wasn't with him for! it happened NEXT TO YOUR SON#your son WATCHED IT HAPPEN. he was THERE. it COULD HAVE BEEN HIM.#and it happened while under the school's care and watch.#i wouldn't let my son back into their care and watch if i was inko.#i really wouldn't.#okay rant over sorry i PROMISE
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Loki telling the Avengers he's never had a family before them all and Thor is sitting in the back of the room spitting out his coffee sobbing crying he feels sick to his stomach
#Thor like THEN WHAT AM I????#Loki like YOU'RE LIVING HERE TOO WHAT"S THE PROBLEM????#Thor like you very much had a family you have a family what was Asgard to you the past millennia and a half#Loki like um a fake family i thought we went over that when it was clear they lied to me (and you) our entire lives ?#Thor should feel sick about it actually#I don't think Thor ever Got the fact that if Loki was being disowned/separating himself from the family that includes. their parents.#i don't think he comprehended that if Loki doesn't consider them his parents anymore he wouldn't consider them his parents anymore#i think Thor just assumes it's symbolic or something or that inevitably Loki will get over it and come back btw#i think that should happen if post-Avengers 1 Loki is banished to Earth#and I think Thor should actually be upset and feel sick aobut it#i think Thor didn't understand that being lied to hurt Loki even when he watched Loki let go on the bifrost
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I watched the first episode of Designated Survivor last night so I could watch the Capitol Building explode with all three branches of our government inside. Wasn't as satisfying as I hoped.
#please don't put me on a watch list#i'm just a little upset#i would never want anyone to die#but i wouldn't mind if we got to start some things over#and have an opportunity to make some real meaningful change#i don't despair#i just get very frustrated
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I know a lot of people want it, but I don't think we'll ever get a conversation between Sandra Lynn and any of the bad kids about what Bobby Dawn did to her.
A. It's just unnecessary. We already know the gist, we can already see the ramifications of that action, and a conversation would just be retreading already discovered ground
B. Sandra's relationship with Fig is nearly always in turmoil. Ever since seeing her offer a shoulder to Adaine when she drank heavily when it was her, Fig has been avoiding Sandra when she could. She said in the fight when Baxter arrived, "I'm not trying to see my mom right now," and they didn't talk At All when she took them to the temple ruins. If Sandra Lynn was going to talk to anyone about Bobby, it would be to Fig just bc of closeness, and that's just not happening, at least not for a while. Also i see people define Bobby's short and disastrous relationship with Sandra as sexual grooming, and i find it hard to believe that if she was groomed, she'd tell her daughter, especially not to then say "Fig You Were Groomed Too" or "Fig, Don't Trust Random Men." I think people put way too much emphasis on Fig's bits where she kissed adults in earlier seasons and said "would i know if i had sex? What if I've accidentally had sex?", like those were just jokes, the latter being a joke abt how Fig didnt understand what sex was as a 14 year old, and i don't believe it would be fun for the table if those jokes were treated with the solumn seriousness of fig then being a grooming victim. Also Fig already distrusts men, she was right about Porter and she was stalking Ruben and literally every man outside of her family that she's come in contact with, she's either bullied or investigated, she doesn't need to be told a tale about how men ain't shit
C. Bobby is just much less of an antagonistic player in this conflict than previously expected. Yeah he was involved with The Big Bad, but after the reveal, a majority of the focus shifted onto Porter, Jace, and the Rat Grinders. I don't see the next two episodes having a moment where they sit down and talk about Bobby in depth, beyond "he was/is an asshole"
#d20 fhjy#fantasy high spoilers#fantasy high junior year#sandra lynn faeth#bobby dawn#dimension 20#fhjy#fig faeth#Twitter is...odd#bc a lot of people seem upset that a convo isn't gonna happen?#but put yourself in sandras shoes#your daughter years ago told you you were allowed to be your own person#but you know youve been fucking up#she reminds you too much of yourself and you can't take it when she comes to you with problems you also had at her age#she's avoiding you now#why would you say “hey daughter wanna hear about the time my hopes and dreams were crushed?”#“i know you already know but do you wanna go over the gory details now you have a face to the name?”#like#no#she wouldn't#maybe theyd exchange some words#but a full convo???
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My opinions on the mob vote! ✨
- All the uses the new mobs seem to have looks very niche and quite tame actually, so I don't feel like there's a clear winner just by looking like how it was with the allay and sniffer
- Tho it does look like the crab claw is the most useful item, I feel it will become the next spyglass: u'll make one bc it's a fun concept, but soon it will become clutter in ur hotbar and ull leave it be. I feel most builders would prefer scaffolding a couple blocks than have one slot taken
- If the way the penguin makes the boat faster is similar to how dolphin gives it's grace, then idk... But if it somehow provides a way to upgrade ur boat then yEA I feel like that's a good start to boat upgrades!
- eoughhhh doggy armor... safe ouppyyyyyy... Dillo so friend shaped omggg eoughh <333333333333 I lvoe them eouhdjdkkrkfkdjdkf
- I feel Mangrove Swamps already have a lot of characteristic mobs (tropical fish, bees, slimes) and they already have frogs as their iconic animal. Meanwhile Stony Shores are a quite barren place, and everything u get in a Savannah u can basically get in a plains biome. They both would benefit so much with the addition of a new form of life!
#i might go with dillo bc i feel their animation would be fun#like seeing them rool around and curl up#feel this mob vote is def one where cuteness can win over usefulness dkfkfkf#still i wouldn't be upset if any of the other won#bucket of ramble#minecraft#mob vote
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I'm sure you get this a lot but because my cousin and I love that one Danny Trejo action comedy, I always have to snap my brain into the right position when I read Machete's name. Maybe I should draw them both chilling
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#I do get it a lot#people have been comparing him to that Danny Trejo character for 13 years#on monthly or these days weekly basis#sorry if I'm about to sound surprisingy pissy and bitchy and petty in the tags of your ask in particular#please don't think I'm not upset with you specifically#but I've been told this same thing three times this week alone and it's only wednesday#and it kind of stopped amusing me a long while ago I'm sorry#I know people mean well and find it funny#but having your longtime deeply personal oc continuously compared to some other unrelated fictional character#just because they happen to share a name#wears you down eventually#I never respond to them because I don't want to come across as needlessly nasty and overly sensitive#over something as utterly trivial as this#but if I never give even a slightest hint that I'm not particularly delighted by it anymore#I'm afraid it's going to just go on indefinitely#answered#rancidslime#I've thought about changing his name numerous times over the years just so I wouldn't have to hear about Danny Trejo anymore#but he's been called Machete for 16 years so it's not easy to let go of that name
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random idea of a soulmate au where soulmates share each others pain (e.g. you trip and injure your knee and your soulmate also feels your pain on their knee) and you're soulmates with malleus but you've fallen head over heels in love with leona and want nothing more than for him to be happy and so in ch2 when savanaclaw plays against diasomnia in spelldrive, you actively put yourself in excruciating pain all so to disable malleus so your beloved lion can finally, finally get a taste of being first place
to be continued here
#i dont know where this came from but im loving the drama#i imagine the excruciating pain would be drinking some sort of poison??#just the image of malleus standing tall and proud in the field#and hes suddenly hunched over in pain and unable to move#leona doesn't know what's going on but he sees an opportunity and seizes it#and i imagine you wouldn't want to/be able to tell leona what you did either#since you want him to believe he kinda won without any tricks#so he's just upset and frustrated afterwards when he finds out you've been hurt#but he'll be like a little kid showing off about how he defeated malleus and won the game#the angst potential lakdhejbsldjsla#rinna rants#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar x reader
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hhhhidea...,,,, CUTE idea (kinda?) dust reading to phantom papyrus during night to lull him to sleep,,,, but really its just a way for him to pretend that everythings not really that shit (as if phantom paps isn't just dust's denial incarnate) and to help him NOT wake up because of a nightmare again or something
(and just because i can't resist now im imagining this with mtt. not that dust stopped reading to paps in place of killer and horror (because he wouldnt he simply wouldn't) but now the two join them for storytime. horror knocks out pretty damn fast and eventually dust falls asleep too after he makes sure that paps is satisfied with the amount he read and then killer's just left to sit there. maybe he tries to fall asleep maybe he doesn't,,,, maybe he picks up the book and continues reading but EITHERWAY,,,,,, this scene in my head so 💥💥💥😇😇😇)
#sweet soft mtt taking OVER triglycercule's brain has been invaded with them.........#horror probably sleeps like a rock man. dust is a very very very light sleeper. killer doesn't sleep at all and when he does#its just like that half asleep state. better than nothing tho....... those weeks of not sleeping probably leads to the most delicious naps#now in an ideal world killer learns to get a proper sleep schedule even if he can't feel his exhaustion#however in MY mtt dominated world killer doesn't fix his sleep habits and instead just takes a shitton of naps everywhere#they killerfied the house (made everything softer to sleep on) and killer always has 2 walking pillows to sleep on#sure he might not get 8 hours of sleep like during night. but he got that over the day so its ok TRUSY#this surely wont have any bad side effects but whatever its the mtt since when do they care about PROPER habits. if it works it works#ik i aaaaalways say hrkl wouldn't like phantom paps and find it weird but also now im considering#like. them being jealous of dust for always having kinda papyrus with him#like damn..... horror fucked up his brother permanently. he will never get the old paps back#and killer doesnt want to see his papyrus again because then he thinks hell just ruin everything again#but dust gets to talk and laugh and joke with his paps all the time!!! he got it better than them and thats just cus he hallucinates!!!! wt#i mean phantom paps isnt a 1:1 version of papyrus but hes close enough in my eyes#another idea....... horror (and maybe killer if he warms up to it) hanging out with dust JUST to talk to phantom paps#dust could easily just lie about what phantom paps says (although unless he had a reason he wouldnt risk upsetting paps like that methinks)#but theres something there. something something toxic mttpoly dynamic or whatever idc man. im in the mood for FLUFF!!!!!!!!!!#i think it would be funny if phantom paps says dusts deepest thoughts about hrkl. and then if he wants to say it dust has to filter it a LO#they could be sitting near killer and phantom paps would provide a detailed description of why killer has the mannerisms of a cat#and then dust would (hesitantly) agree to everything paps said (he was thinking it too) but when killer looks back at him#(he's been staring at killer for the past 10 minutes to see if what paps said was right) dust just says like. you remind me of a cat#OR BETTER YET he doesn't wanna admit that he thought of that so he just says paps says you remind him of a cat#insert horror version of this moment here. and killer quickly realizes that dust's just using papyrus as an excuse for why he says stuff#like that sometimes. horror just thinks dust's a weirdo freak (but unlike killer he takes the little observations to heart. loser)#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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Discourses over shipping are so funny to me. You can say you dgaf what others ship and get someone so mad they block you and make call out post about how dare you being a reasonable human being and mind your own business online
#like don't get me wrong there are defo ships i wouldn't touch with 5 meters stick be it vanilla ones or messed up ones#but i don't trigger myself by scrolling through tags of said things and being upset over people on the other side of the world who like that#istg said behavior can be considered self destructive cuz why are you making yourself upset and angry about things you can't control and#aren't causing anyone harm? do some reflection on your internet habbits please#ship and let ship#pro fandom#proship#again i dislike that label cuz i don't think whole debate should even exist
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hot take, but the "i dump your ass" line wasn't even funny and was just super ooc…….
#out.#(for that matter i also think the neverending story scene was so horrible and was the most unnecessary thing in the history of televison.#literally gives me second hand embarrassment. but i don't think people are willing to hear that yet...#and suzie's family. that was a shit show. people rly say they should have their own spinoff.... like i was embarrassed watching that crap.)#BUT ANYWAY.#ik jane was really looking up to max in that scene and all.#and we know she learns by doing and copying but. it was more about the break of trust between mike and jane that made her so upset.#but idk... jane just saying i dump ur ass has never ever sat well with me.#WHICH DOESNT MATTER bc that whole story isnt canon obvi for my jane BUT.#yeah. hot take over.#and i think jane would want to know WHY mike lied to her. she would want to talk to him and understand. rather than just physically sweepin#it under the rug.#rather than moving on. jane would not be able to have an enjoyable night knowing that mike lied to her. she wouldn't just walk away from it#with a snarky comment.#and it's scenes like this that show just how lost the d*ffers get with her character.#and do not understand her after s2!
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Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)
Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭
hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD
i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me
i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.
i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.
so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.
i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.
now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.
but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.
so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao
however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh
shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!
so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.
thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.
#what does the chaos mirror see#eternal-flame#i hope it doesn't come across like i'm mad about this question because i'm not<3#it's just that my life is really terrible! and i constantly feel tense and upset about it! lmfao#i was SO nervous when i published the game for the first time that the build i published would be a haunted one lmfao#literally combing through every single accessible passage with a magnifying glass to make sure it wasn't#would it have been better to get the haunting out of the way with publishing the game or keep it for this backup problem?? i don't know#wish it just wouldn't do it i guess. but then again i haven't noticed it as a problem since getting my new laptop#so hopefully i won't have to worry about it in future#hurgh... still not over this properly i guess lmao
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