#i would just say “i'm not 18 yet” “i'm not an adult” “under 18” “teenager” (although yes that could technically be 18 or 19)

[tealviscaria]

Genuine question: have you ever called yourself a minor in an informal setting (like in your bio on social media, in a conversation etc.)?

I feel like it's come into general use only in recent years and personally I can't imagine describing myself like that casually. Maybe it's because I'm not a native English speaker, but it just sounds so Legal.

But who knows, were I not an adult now, maybe I would call myself a minor too.

[cupcakefactory]

I LOVE the zen pieces you have wrote!! He is my favourite character, such a comfort <3, how do you think Zen would react to an MC with an eating disorder/who really didn't like how she/he looked? Really need our boy to tell me it's okay at the moment.

Thank you my dear for this, i rushed this through as i understand the struggle with eating and self confidence. I know its hard but please reach out for help. You are more than numbers on a scale, you are more than what people say about you. I promise you people love you, if you feel alone my messages are always open to talk. I've linked some eating disorder helplines here as well - noting you have a problem in the first big step, asking for help in the second.

Eating disorder help lines (I've found American and UK numbers but if these aren't relevant for you PLEASE search for your counties)

UK: 18+ - 0808 801 0677

Under 18 - 0808 801 0711

USA: 1 (888)-375-7767

CONTENT WARNING FOR EATING DISORDER

Wordcount: 876

He watched you closely, that wasn’t new you were used to it but it was unsettling too. You didn’t know if he knew, he worked so much there wasn't a way he knew, was there? You always pretended to eat when he was around, he had no reason to worry, but his gaze on you at the dinner table made your mind panic. You’d just been cutting up food and pushing it around and he noticed that he saw how you hadn’t chewed any food yet and he was concerned, he was panicking a little. 

You had lost so much weight so quickly,  your personality had altered and you were sleeping more than ever before. He had missed your laughter, your energy - how you always insisted on joining him on a run. He missed watching you dance around the kitchen - missed feeling you against him. He hated how you started to shy away from him whenever he tried to hug you, he hated how you never smiled or danced anymore. He hated how you had become such a shell of yourself.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

He watched as you avoided his gaze, looking at anything by him. The table, the door, the flowers - everything you stared at made his heart hurt a little more. You had tears in your eyes, he hated seeing you cry. You looked so uncomfortable, but he needed to know what was wrong because he was so fucking scared of what was happening under his nose - what was happening to the person he loved more than himself, his job, more than anything he had ever loved before. He stood, and walked to the side of the table you were sat at, taking your hands and sighing gently to himself in relief when you didn’t automatically pull away.

“Talk to me.. Please, my love, I'm worried about you. This.. isn’t healthy”

He saw his words radiate as your eyes finally meet his concerned ones, as the tears that brimmed finally spilled, as the secrets you kept finally became known. You told him how you felt, how you had no control in your life and how the only thing you could control was food - how you use to have an eating disorder as a teenager but recovered before becoming an adult. You told him how you started to hate the way you looked again after reading comments on social media, you told him how you criticise everything about yourself in the mirror and you told him how when you couldn’t control what was being said by people or worse, by yourself, you turned back to controlling your food.

Maybe if you liked how you looked you would feel better, right?

When you finally spilled everything onto the table, you couldn't stop, you sobbed and screamed - you told him in detail how you didn’t like yourself and no matter how badly you wanted to bottle it back up you couldn’t. He listened in horror, his eyes filling with his own tears as he heard how much you didn’t like yourself. How couldn’t you like yourself? He loved every part of you.. And in his eyes you were perfect. You should have been perfect to the world, god damn it!

When you went quiet, your screams stopped and he could only hear quiet sobs he pulled you into his arms, your legs dangling over the edge of his seat as you cried into his shirt. You’d missed being held by him; too scared hed find the truth to let it happen. It felt peaceful in his arms as he gently swayed side by side, his chin on your head as he just let you feel these emotions you had so clearly bottled up for so long. He let you cry until you couldn’t cry no more.

“My sweet silly dear, what are you saying about yourself?”

He watched as you looked up, your eyes tear stained and wide, Curiosity evident but yet you looked so unsure of what he was about to say.

“I know.. You had a hard time growing up and you had to control anything you could.. I understand that in a way.. But everything you're saying about yourself? Its not true - my love you are fucking perfect. So what if others don’t agree? I agree, i love you so so much, I feel in love with you the way you were and I would never have dreamed of changing that. I don’t care if your not conventionally attractive enough for some idiots on social media because my love you are more than perfect to me”

He ran his fingers through your hair, using his other hand to rub the stray tears in his eyes as he spoke

“I know we can’t fix this overnight, but let's start trying to.. I’ll phone the doctors, ill report those accounts.. I'll take time off work and sit with you every meal to keep your mind busy. Tell me what you need and i'll do it - you just need to tell me how to help. I want to help”

When you nodded, he sighed relief flooding his body as he kissed your forehead.

“Thank you.. Thank you my love

..

Together i know we will be okay”

Thanks for reading <3

[lemonandtheart]

Guess who only has one job now instead of two and is back! It's me!

I have made my own TMNT iteration! I'm still drawing out the comic. I've got a lot written but now I have to sketch the pages and line and color everything in. I'll hopefully keep making more fun little things to post before I'm done. The comic is going to be fully colored, so I made this reference sheet for the boys and April. I'll give some little fun facts of my iteration too.

April:

I think she should be allowed to be more girly. She's still just as brave and tenacious, she's just going to do that while wearing cutesy clothes. I also feel my April is a girls girl and as much as she loves her boys she prefers the company of other women. She's still into journalism and is going to college for it in my version, while getting a minor is computer science because 2003 April had a thing for machines just like Donnie and I want my April be able to benefit the team like that. She's also a little chubby as I am guilty of giving her my body type. April's nails are real and she paints them whenever they chip.

Leo: *Holds him gently* I am a Leo girly through and through. In my iteration he's 18 and his brothers never let him forget he's the adult but only when things are going bad so he has to take the fall. He's got very bad anxiety because he's fully aware that every action he takes could result in someone getting hurt or dying and it freaks him out and makes him very cautious and overprotective. All of the boys have fangs, but his left one is too big to fit properly in his mouth. He also has a hero complex where he feels an intense desire to be a hero and save people. He feels like he's always steps away from failure so he makes up for it by giving everything his all all of the time.

Raph: My Raph is more of a jokester than a menace. His face just looks like that by the way, he's actually in a very good mood in my reference picture haha. He enjoys sports and weight lifting, but he also enjoys working with his hands in crafting and knitting. He's knit all of Donnie's sweaters. He likes the quiet when he's home and loud exciting get-your-hands-dirty action when he's not. He's the closest to normal out of all of them, just a slightly angsty and sarcastic teenage boy who wants to throw hands and fool around. Ride his motorcycle and kick ass. He has an intense and deep love for his family, like all Raphs do. He would take a bullet for each and every one of them. He enjoys coming home bloodied if it means that no one else got hurt. His favorite way to interact with his brothers is to lovingly bully them.

Donnie: My Donnie must be wearing long sleeves, long pants, socks, and shoes at all points in time. I stole this from me as well, as I'm autistic and so is he and I have to dress like that unless it's too hot out. His feet are highly sensitive and he will cry from overstimulation if made to walk barefoot. He can feel every rock and it hurts. Sometimes he can feel the rocks through his shoes even. He wears shoes in the house, also like me (I have inside shoes and so does he). He doesn't emote much, his face naturally settling into o_o. He's very good at lying because he's so stone faced. He often throws Mikey and Raph under the bus for bad things he does and no one ever figures out it was him that did it. He's got lots of tech and spends most of his time in his lab. Mikey often bothers him, so he made an AI to respond on his behalf and add any potential activities Mikey wants them to do together into his calendar. Mikey does not know he's not actually chatting with Don.

Mikey: In my version, when they mutated they were all already different ages. Mikey was a literal baby, not even able to sit up on his own yet. He's treated with little brother privileges and he gets away with so much. He's a menace, getting away with everything because he's got a cute face and his little brother status makes it very hard for them to say no. They all speak varying degrees of Japanese because they learned it from their dad. Mikey uses Nii-chan to get whatever he wants. He is a master manipulator and can cry on command. The only way they can tell if his tears are real or not is if he throws up. If he throws up, they're real. He's needy and bratty and wants to be the center of attention at all times. If not enough eyes are on him, he causes problems and pulls pranks to get negative attention. Despite all that, he's incredibly sweet and caring. He's a bleeding heart. He thinks of April as his big sister, even though no one else does. Later, he gets matching bracelets with April and she gives him makeovers and when she paints her nails she paints his too. Like 2003 Mikey he likes to dress up and play roles and be silly.

[sleepingdeath-light]

getting rejected by his future s/o hcs ; hunter

requested by ; anonymous (01/08/22)

fandom(s) ; the owl house

fandom masterlist(s) ; main | hunter only

character(s) ; hunter wittebane

outline ; “I haven't really seen anyone write this (maybe one? my memory is bad akshsks) but what about Hunter (toh) confessing his feelings to reader and they reject him because of his age, saying he can try again in a couple years? I'm not saying a whole adult btw, just like a year or two older than him.

Not many people seem to write about that awkward little stage where one person just became an adult and the other is like a year away lol

Don't write this if you're comfy tho! I'd completely get it if you skipped this. Hope you have a nice day regardless!”

note ; in the first section the ages for hunter and the reader are 16 (a month or so from turning 17) and just barely turned 18 respectively, and in the final flash-forward they’re 19 and 20.

warning(s) ; awkward rejection, mild angst, some fluff at the very end

you and hunter had met before the day of unity, but you weren’t truly friends until you spent some time together in the human world — bonding over the strangeness of your situation and growing closer by the day as you learned more and more about this new realm (with the help of luz, camila and a very misinformed gus, of course)

being just over a year apart in age, the two of you had much more in common with each other than with any of your other friends — of course hunter was far from a normal teenager, but there were still plenty of similarities between you

so many similarities, in fact, that those platonic feelings started to shift towards something more — something mutual, something flustering, something natural, something romantic even

and you found yourself loving him as much as he loved you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to act on anything yet — yes there was only a year between you, but just looking at the numbers alone made you feel guilty and uncomfortable with pursuing him

so when he invited you out to stargaze with him one evening and started to talk (in a way that was clearly well rehearsed) about destiny, fate and feelings and you, you silently put up a hand to stop him and shook your head — he didn’t even get to confess before you started to speak about your thoughts on the matter

you were gentle and honest, caressing his cheek and smiling in the half-sad, half-enamoured way that only happens in situations like this, reassuring him that you did return his feelings and would have loved to be in a relationship — you still do, just not yet

saying that maybe in a year or two, if those feelings don’t fade (which you hope they don’t), that you’d be happy to start a relationship with him

not now, but eventually — a promise that doesn’t break his heart but makes him sigh (understanding, of course, but still upset about the rejection no matter how temporary it was)

from there the conversation — genuine, heartfelt, long, and well needed — fizzles out and you stay out in the noceda family’s garden staring up at the sky, still friends and still as close as you were (which you were thankful for as you didn’t want to lose your best friend over something like that)

in two and a half years’ time, when he’s an apprentice carver working under del and you’ve spent the better part of your time helping to rebuild the boiling isles, hunter will again invite you out to go stargazing on the titan’s knee — sat on a woollen blanket gifted to him by darius as you point out the constellations and shuffle closer and closer together as the evening goes on

then he’ll ask you the same question, far more confident and off the cuff than he was before, and this time you’ll accept — sharing a well earned kiss under the stars and holding each other close as you start the next chapter of your lives together (now 19 and 20 and just as in love as you were back then)

[atopvisenyashill]

To be fair Daenerys does not ever say dragons plant no trees in the books. Twice she says she wants to plant trees and she has a hallucination of Jorah telling her dragons plant no trees. That said we missed out on a lot of good sass and passion and spark that’s present in book Daenerys. Emilia seems like she’s always holding something back. I don’t think she ever feels like a teenager. Which is fair because she was like 24 while filming season 1. I feel the same way about Kit like that is a grown man right from season 1. He was also like 24 and it’s true that some mid-20s can pull off teenagers (I’m one of them; I’m newly 26 and still get mistaken for being under 18), I don’t think Kit, Alfie, Emilia, or Richard can. Not just based on how they look either they all have a maturity to them. Alfie less so, he does impulsive teen pretty well and his crazed rant culminating in him getting whacked on the head by his own men is one of my favorite additions to the shows.

The biggest crime wrt age is honestly the fact that Daemon and Viserys are like 24 and 26 in the books being played by men in their 40s and 50s. I was 24 while watching hotd season 1 and the idea that Matt Smith was of age with me had me in fits

Oh yeah but that's part of hte problem, like I said, that Dany is a very introspective character. They tried to kind of turn Theon's thoughts into dialogue by having Sansa say his "If I die let me die as myself" line, so it can be done and I think considering how much that line, and others like it, echo in her head, it's important to include them. I mean, her whole vision sequence when she's losing Rhaego, the way she sees Rhaegar's face and hears "the last the last" in her head, all of that should have been translated onto the screen in some aspect too. Because yeah, Dany is witty, and funny, and snarky, and thinks through her even thought a hundred times over, but it's mostly in her head, and they don't even really try to adapt that into her dialogue which is annoying because it cuts out half her character.

And yeah, the only like "adults playing teens" that actually did seem like a teen was Jack Gleeson (I believe he was 19 when they started filming), everyone else looked absolutely grown despite playing like 18-19 year olds who just Do Not Look Like Adults yet. I think Richard and Emilia were kinda the worst when it came to that - Richard just doesn't look like a fucking 19 year old in the slightest and it makes Robb look just soooo fucking stupid in season 2 and season 3, especially when he refuses to forgive Catelyn despite Robb forgiving Catelyn in the books for releasing Jaime.

And yeah, HOTD is just so unserious about all the ages it drives me crazy. Ewan does not look like a teenager to me. Ryan and Fabien just don't age at all in like fifteen years even though like, they definitely should have. I've seen the point raised and I think it's a great point, that a lot of people would have received Alicent and Viserys much less negatively if Paddy looked as young and fit and handsome as he actually was when he was in his 30s like Viserys is and that's honestly just factually true because look at the reception to the show version of Dany and Drogo despite them making Drogo's rape of Dany like waaaay more obvious. And I'm not saying it's inherently a bad thing that they were trying to really emphasize the age gap here especially considering how many people still don't get that Alicent was a victim of spousal rape but I also think it plays into this idea that like, an abuser always looks like an abuser, is always some dirty old man, and not like, a handsome healthy 30 year old who prefers to fuck 16 year olds because 16 year old girls don't argue back the way 30 year old women do.

[colourfulshadows]

Teenage Runaways AU fic

So ... a while ago I made a post where I announced that I would write a bunch of AU fics for IWTV/VC during November. There's a prompt list, if anyone wants to participate in that, pinned post on my profile. Also, I made an AO3 collection: vcAUvember (even though I'm probably screaming into the void mostly. It's fine.). First prompt: Runaways AU. I even made a trashy banner, yay! xD Summary, excerpt and link under the cut.

Five on the run make perfect companions

5,102k words Rated Teen and Up (read the tags). Mostly Gen, with a bit of Loustat in the background and Armandaniel pre-flirting.

Summary:

It's 1971, California. After recently turning 18, Daniel Molloy runs away from his troubled home in Modesto, determined to make it to Berkeley on foot. Things didn't exactly go as planned, but luckily he runs into a group of fellow Runaways. Who are they, and more importantly, can they give Daniel the company he secretly craves?

Excerpt:

Somehow, Daniel had thought the whole running away from home scheme would be easier. Crazy, right? Who was he fucking kidding—it was a horror trip. Not to be confused with the drug-related horror trips he’d sadly experienced a few times. Yet, if he could travel back in time, he’d choose to do it all over again. If only to see the bewildered look on his father’s face as Daniel rushed past him, multiple layers of backpacks making it hard to squeeze through the doorframe, but he’d made it. Daniel Molloy: leaving Modesto and his fucked-up life behind, walking down Maze Boulevard, hoping he’d never return. He was a rebel, a runaway—yeah, all right, he was eighteen. Technically , he wasn’t even a proper runaway teen. Just a young, homeless adult. Although he didn’t feel like the last part. What even was the definition of being an adult, despite the legal shit? Not whatever he was, certainly. Homeless, yes, that one was hard to ignore or hide away. The initial walk from Modesto to Westley, crossing the Twin Rivers area, had been enjoyable. With the euphoric rush of doing it , starting something new , he’d been quick on his feet, reaching the small place after just 6 hours. It probably helped that he’d been high as a kite on amphetamines. He’d stopped there to rest, thanking himself for at least having had the mind to pack, besides his essentials, some food, water, money, and a map. And his tape recorder—but, as he’d already stated, essentials. He had a long way ahead, and reaching Berkely on foot would surely put a strain on him.

When he arrived in Tracey, he realised what a gross underestimate that thought had been. “A strain” were not the words he would now use to describe his state. He’d run out of drugs pretty quickly, and if Daniel would ever tell this tale to someone he wished he could say it was because he saved the little money he had for food—which was the result, yes, but not the reason. He simply hadn’t encountered anyone who would sell him the drugs he craved. But at least he wasn’t uncaring and self-destructive enough to dehydrate—that was the one thing he somehow managed to keep up with. He had no tent, no sleeping bag, yet water he could always find, keeping a few bottles on him as he trodded through the summer heat. The extra weight didn’t help with his aching shoulders and neck, muscles sore from carrying the backpacks, and skin on fire from the sunburns he got. But there was no alternative, really.

Midway through the Altamont Pass, he asked himself if spending all his remaining money in Tracey on cigarettes, snacks, and batteries had been wise because he’d really preferred sleeping in a tent or at least on a yoga mat to leaning against trees, never fully resting, body and mind slowly but steadily nearing exhaustion. Sometimes he stopped to look up at the clouds or, at night, the stars, wishing his constitution were better and his physique stronger to handle all this. His mind? Well. He knew he was nuts, probably. Recording himself talk and laugh alone didn’t help with getting rid of that impression. But it was better than feeling isolated. Speaking to the machine, he could at least pretend to have a conversation. One-sided as it was. And that’s what kept him sane as he moved forward, crossing through the steep landscape.

If Daniel had to walk through one more fucking vineyard, he was going to bawl. His head was spinning, the tingling in his fingers mixing with the hot pain in his soles. He wasn’t sure what day it was or what time even—only that the sun was shining too brightly, the light stinging in his bagged eyes. He needed to rest. His clothes needed a wash. He needed a wash. The worst of it was the knowledge, the absolute certainty, that even after reaching Livermore there would be no real respite for him. It probably would only get worse with no money left. No bed to sleep in, no warm meal to eat, no - It was useless to remind himself about that again, wasn’t it? There would be no giving up. Even though this felt like the Passion of Christ, going back was no option. Nothing could be worse than returning to those who... No. Nope. Not thinking about that now. Food. He needed food. He’d gotten used to the stinging and twisting of his stomach, but by now it felt like a black hole, painfully devouring him from the inside out. Come on, Molloy. You’ve got this. You’re going to be somebody when you arrive in Berkeley. Can’t waste your remaining sanity with self-pity.

Read more here:

[lorebeth]

Hello I was just recently watching avatar the last Airbender and it got me thinking thinking, what if there was an avatar in Genshin impact, I thought it might make sense because all of the elements in Genshin impact are ones that benders from avatar are capable of using. So I was thinking what if the avatar was the reader and she was born in Fontaine and when she was born it put Fontaine into a bit of an excited uproar because it had been a long time since the previous avatar passed away, and I was wondering, how would the avatar play into the Fontaine archon quest, would she be able to ask the past avatar's for guidance, and how would her upbringing from childhood be? Would she be kept under protection as she learned to control the elements or would she be granted a normal childhood and begin training when she becomes a teenager. I'm thinking about writing a story about it and I have some fanmade Avatar's you could use, their under the post, The New Avatar basic information, but if you're not comfortable with writing this that's completely alright and I wish you the best ☺️.

I’ll be so honest, I love avatar so much and I haven’t gotten to Fontaine yet because I’m lazy as hell 🥰

LMAO

I’ve also seen you used she/her so that’s what I’ll use!!!

but if we’re being like 100% honest these are my headcannons:

I think because the Avatar has been dead for a while, the new one that has just come is a bit an anomaly to the public.

I think that she’s a bit of a concern and everyone would be in utter confusion.

I definitely think they’d be excited that the avatar is from Fontaine and with such strong beliefs in Justice and the Legal System, they’d believe the Avatar should be the upmost ‘Just Symbol’ not only representing Fontaine but as a standard of how other Nations should be as well

But let’s not get political, let’s go more into the childhood of the avatar

I think it’s normal for the avatar to get their powers later in life, so maybe toddler/young child, like Korra! (I love korra so much) 

So this would mean for a few years in her life, the avatar would be a normal person until she starts controlling a random element without a specific vision.

If nobody had visions and it was purely elemental powers, I also think it would be strange that the young child could master so many things at a young age

I’m guessing her parent/s are concerned and take her to doctors, etc!

This can lead to spread panic and anxiety through the people of Fontaine, causing for Neuvilette and Focalor to be asked to come to meet the child.

I also think the leaders of the different nations would want to meet the child as well

I’m not so sure about the snezhnayans seeing as they hate everyone, but perhaps the Tsaritsa needs the avatars powers over the gnosis’ which could lead to a potential villain in the heroines plot!

I also think she wouldn’t have much of a childhood after she is confirmed the avatar. 

Because they haven’t had one in years, she would be expected to train from maybe her preteens (12-18+) and live her entire life with no real connections and only to be raised as a weapon

But I think she’d probably have friends from different nations, and I’d like to think that depending on her personality, she’d always have some sort of friend group to match!

So if she’s shy, she might hang around Childe and Xinyan (honestly so happy they met those few updates ago they’re so silly (I’m a xinyan main)) or someone who perfectly brings her out of her shell

If the avatar is more outgoing and strong, maybe like Korra, I imagine someone calm like Chongyun or depending how old the avatar is, I’m going to say young adult, I’d recon Alhaitham and Kaveh are the BEST

IMAGINE AN AVATAR TRIO WITH KAVEH AND ALHAITHAM it would be so silly, Alhaitham trying to make sure your powers are controlled and making sure you and Kaveh don’t burn down the entirety of Sumeru on a visit there? Honestly such a good fic 

Honestly it would be like a “gotta catch ‘em all” situation with the avatar! Gotta make the most friends >.<

I also think that some more serious things like mental health could be really really exhausting for the avatar and that she’d always be on edge, people trying to hunt her down, perhaps steal her powers or even kill her, etc. it wouldn’t be the best time of her life that’s for sure, and if they hadn’t had an avatar in so long, EVERYONE who hates the avatar would want her as a target.

But other than that, I think the avatar would either hate Fontaine and want to explore, or is fearful she’ll accidentally disobey the Fontaine court and get herself imprisoned. I also bet they have a super secure prison JUST for the avatar incase she goes ballistic.

I would argue that how there are subbending techniques in the show, I believe that the avatar can and does mix the elements together, making specific healing ailments, bending the earth with super hot or super wet terrain; enhancing the geo power in some way. Honestly it’s all so interesting

I also believe that the avatar state would be so fun to explore and make up as you go along, and maybe the avatar runs away from Fontaine and does something stupid? Who knows! It’s all so fun to think about!!

THIS WAS LOVELY WRITING! It really got me thinking!! TYSM FOR THE REQUEST! 🫶

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

(Lefty wall of text incoming 😔 sorry)

Your stance on raising the age of adulthood is fucking retarded bro. None of the issues you raise have anything to do with raising the age of adulthood. Your solution would punish competent young adults and reward the behaviour of the unmotivated, as well as punishing parents by making them responsible for the young adult's choices during a pivotal period for them. Accepting your own place in the world and the responsibility you need to take as an adult is a lesson best learned as young as possible, and young adults will make mistakes. If the parents are still considered legally and financially responsible, then it will push back that crucial lesson to much later in life.

There are different labor laws for adults and minors. I had my first 45 hour a week job when I was 18. Under your system, I wouldn't have been allowed to have that job, which would have made me dependent on my parents for longer. That's fucking retarded. I'm not in school after I graduated high school, I didn't want to go to college, and now I'm not allowed to work full-time. That's insanity. Trying to classify 21 year olds as minors while keeping their labor laws different from other minors is ridiculous and is extra bureaucratic bullshit we don't need. Don't classify 18-21 year olds as minors and keep moving.

The age of consent in some states is as young as 16 as well, which would mean that teenagers would legally old enough to have sex but have to wait 5 years before they're old enough to get married? I can't see that as anything but encouraging more single-parent households without the second parent involved.

Aaaaaannndd most importantly it would make even more self-righteous windbags call relationships between adults with an age gap "pedophilia". That innocuous relationship between a 20F and a 25M now counts as grooming a minor, so I hope you're happy with all the brand new pedophiles you've just created lol.

And yet none of this addresses the actual problem of so-called "adults" being almost no different from adolescents. You're also making a wild amount of assumptions here. You think most 18-21 year olds are like you, but that's just not the case. Most don't want to get married, most go to college, most don't have any idea how the world works, yet they still vote. They still end up holding the same jobs they would have gotten at 16 even after college. They still can't function like an adult should. They still sign up for the military while having zero idea what that actually entails.

You say

Accepting your own place in the world and the responsibility you need to take as an adult is a lesson best learned as young as possible, and young adults will make mistakes.

but 18-21 year olds don't do this. They actively stop maturing at 16 and refuse to engage with the real world at all. Mostly by escaping to colleges that just enable all of the worst childish behaviors that they have. If that's not going to change, then these supposed adults should be treated like the children they act like.

Trying to classify 21 year olds as minors while keeping their labor laws different from other minors is ridiculous and is extra bureaucratic bullshit we don't need.

Wild assumption. Why would we create a new set of laws for 18-21 year old minors? They would just be covered under the same child labor laws we have now if the age was lowered.

The age of consent in some states is as young as 16 as well, which would mean that teenagers would legally old enough to have sex but have to wait 5 years before they're old enough to get married? I can't see that as anything but encouraging more single-parent households without the second parent involved.

Romeo and Juliet laws are a thing in most states. I would of course support more of these laws to deal with this issue.

Aaaaaannndd most importantly it would make even more self-righteous windbags call relationships between adults with an age gap "pedophilia". That innocuous relationship between a 20F and a 25M now counts as grooming a minor, so I hope you're happy with all the brand new pedophiles you've just created lol.

The only real good point you have here. And yeah, it's a problem. But R&J laws will sort some of this out. As for the rest? Well, you seem to think that people are mature enough to be adults at 18, so why do you also think that most adults wouldn't see how ridiculous this is? Seems like you're assuming adults will default to childish behavior except when you want to argue against raising the legal age. Either adults are adults and can interact with the world as adults and should be treated like adults, or they can't and they shouldn't. You can't have it both ways.

[obsessioncollector]

hi!! I wanted to thank you for all the notes on my little book blog, your vibes are excellent and I'm honored that you're following me <3 would you like to tell me about some of your favorite books, or recent reads that you really enjoyed?

hi! this is so sweet omg, also i just saw your post about the sparrow--i've been meaning to read it and now i really have to!!

I recently did a post with my faves from this year so far (here), so I won't repeat the books I mentioned there but I have lots of favorites so I'm happy to have the chance to mention more! I added a little about each book for context but my blurbs do not give them justice at all, I just didn't want to throw a bunch of titles with no explanation at you :) Under the cut bc it's a long list w/ the blurbs.

EDIT WAIT IM SO DUMB I FORGOT TO SAY THAT MY GOATS ARE NABOKOV, DOSTOEVSKY, [TONI] MORRISON. I didn't want to mention all the books I loved by them bc that would take forever but yeah they are the best <3

FICTION:

The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston: Just re-read this one after several years and it’s even better than I remembered. Comprised of several shorter stories based on stories the Kingston’s mother told her about her relatives in China growing up, with Kingston imagining her own version of these family legends. The final story captures the fear and anxiety and shame of childhood so well &lt;3

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson: An old favorite. Centered on 18-year-old Mary Katherine Blackwood, who lives with her older sister Constance and sickly uncle Julian after the mysterious deaths of the rest of her family. Oddly tender considering that premise :)

Season of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih: Read this one in a single day—among its many wonderful qualities, it’s a page-turner! Reminds me of psychological thriller movies. It’s narrated by a Sudanese man who has recently returned to his hometown after spending time in Europe. Back home, he meets a mysterious stranger who’s also been to Europe and becomes obsessed with him.

The Lover by Marguerite Duras: Based on Duras’s relationship with an adult Chinese man when she was a teenager growing up in colonial Vietnam, but despite the title, it’s clearly focused on the teen girl character. Reflective and haunting.

The Moor's Last Sigh by Salman Rushdie: Better than Midnight’s Children imo. Rushdie’s books are always tough to summarize I think, the plots are often convoluted and yet they’re also more than the sum of their parts. This one is about the son of a wealthy Indian family divided by a conflict between the businessman father and pioneering artist mother.

The Setting Sun by Osamu Dazai: Dazai is one of those male artists who captures young women surprisingly well. This short novel is centered on a woman from a fading aristocratic Japanese family. So emotional and quietly eloquent.

The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood: Absolute classic of the stories-about-stories subgenre. The protagonist’s sister was a writer who died young with a devoted feminist following, and the protagonist resents others’ attempts to capture her sister’s legacy. Coming-of-age as she recounts growing up with her sister, but also intersperses the sister’s work.

Trieste by Daša Drndić: Centered on an elderly Italian Jewish woman haunted by her family’s complicity in the fascist order around them. Drndić’s body of work often focuses on characters obsessed with historical atrocities and is consistently fascinating, but this is my favorite of hers.

The Complete Stories by Clarice Lispector: For the longest time I felt like everyone was telling me to read Clarice Lispector and I did and yet her novels did not click for me! These stories finally made me a Lispector stan—gotta reread her novels now :) Hard to sum up since it’s a long collection, but completely worth it.

Cursed Bunny by Bora Chung: I’m biased bc I saw Bora Chung speak and she seems like such a sweet and modest and offbeat-in-a-good-way person—would be a good tumblr mutual :) But I loved this collection even before then, it’s surreal and haunting and most of the stories don’t sound like they’d work on paper but they absolutely do.

NONFICTION (I am actually a fraud when it comes to nonfiction bc I’m a novel girl at heart but some books I love…):

Twelve Who Ruled by R.R. Palmer: I just started re-reading this after a couple of years, it’s so fascinating! It’s history centered on the twelve members of the Committee of Public Safety during the French Revolution. Super interesting period in history IMO and the book is also a great study of personalities, it makes me want to write my own (fictional) characters lol.

Literature and Evil by Georges Bataille: A collection of essays on the works of a variety of writers—Blake, Kafka, Proust, etc., all the good guys.

A Little Devil in America by Hanif Abdurraqib: THE music book. It’s a collection of essays around the theme of Black music in the US. Abdurraqib’s writing is so eloquent and touching, and whether I knew the musicians’ work well or not, I loved all the essays. He does a great job of interspersing the musicians’ stories and their significance with his own perspective and experiences.

Black Reconstruction in America by W.E.B. Du Bois: Extremely important from a historical perspective--Du Bois eviscerated the dominant racist + neo-Confederate school of historiography regarding Reconstruction in the U.S. Also just incredibly well-written--since it's a technical work, it can be tedious with the statistics etc at points, but Du Bois's prose is so stunning. The chapter “Transubstantiation of a Poor White,” focused on Andrew Johnson, is absolutely brutal (complimentary.)

Fear and Trembling by Søren Kierkegaard: Kierkegaard is so fascinating, this is a daunting read (at least to me) but totally worth it. You do not have to be Christian to be a Kierkegaard enjoyer :) It’s focused on the Biblical story of Abraham almost sacrificing his son Isaac, but also tackles much more.

[beomiracles]

VULPECULA.

What did you think adulthood was like in your teens?

• Kinda wanna tell about my opinion👉👈, but I am very much interested in yours, serene!

barely had a time to think about it. Busy writing entrance exams and depression I haven't yet gotten over. I always thought growing up means everyone listens to you and acknowledgement by elders is at your feet. I am kinda acknowledgement deprived gurlie and felt worthless so many times, that I always thought adulthood was cool and I guess it is. still haven't gotten a job ( gotta finish the course first, in college 🤡) but they all listen at least? As the eldest daughter, I am asked advices which makes me feel good. In a way, adulthood always made and makes me feel that I am acknowledged and IT'S FUCKING COOL!!

—🔎!

question post

hii baby !! eek, I'd love to hear your opinion always ! ⎯ first off, I'm so sorry to hear that you're still fighting depression, if I could I would emerge through the screen and hug you >-< I just want to let you know that I'm proud of you for pulling through <33 I'm so happy that you finally feel more acknowledged, I think it's super important to tell the people around you how important they are to you and make them feel special, it keeps a lot of us going I think :3 And don't worry about a job, the opportunity will present itself once you're ready, call me superstitious but I firmly believe in fate and that the universe has things planned for us !

as for me... I guess I am legally an adult now >.< I turned 18 about six months ago but I still feel like a teenage girl hehe. In all honesty, I was scared shitless. The thought of turning 18 haunted me throughout all of 17, but as my birthday approached, I finally managed to turn my mindset around and was instead able to celebrate reaching another huge milestone in my life !

in a way I suppose you could still call me a teenager as I haven't hit 20 yet, but ever since I was little I've always imagined adulthood as freedom. Freedom to do whatever I want, eat whatever I want specifically (as someone who grew up with a very restricting parent). ⎯ Just like you I'm also the eldest daughter, and in ways it feels like I've been the adult my whole life, so the thought of adulthood in itself has been something not so foreign to me I think <3 ⎯ But if you were to ask me how I felt right now, I would say excited !! Two years ago my answer would've probably been very different but I am learning to appreciate everything life gives me, and it's made me a much happier person, I'm excited for life, I'm young and I've got the world under the tips of me fingers, and I'm so ready :3

[hedge-rambles]

So: 11 births a year paints a picture of a sizeable population of fertile adults on the Ninth. So why is the population in Harrow's time, about 18 years after massacre, all considered to be ancient and barren? Why is there apparently no one even close to Ortus in age, considering there were presumably people only a year older than him when it happened?

Menopause hits 95% of people between 45-55, even if we assume conditions on the Ninth favoured earlier menopause, that's still probably going to be around 45-50.

The WHO recommends a minimum of 24 months between giving birth and attempting to conceive again and considering the entire background of the Empire I'm inclined to believe they don't favour rapid-fire birthing (at least with XX carry).

So, 50% of people can get pregnant, birth interval of nearly 3 years, 11 babies born a year = 2*11*3 = presumably at least 66 adults between the ages of 20 and 45. And considering how necros have reduced fertility and again the Empire's views on reproductive choice I'd suggest it could easily be 3-4 times that, because it's hard to imagine everyone was having eight kids each. If we even just assume births were at replacement rate before the massacre, that suggests there were maybe 300 adults in the 18-45 bracket (11*(45-18)=297).

The Creche Massacre was ~18 years before the start of GtN, the younger adults of the time still wouldn't have hit menopause by the time of the first book. There must have been 20 year olds at the time who aren't even 40 yet so why is the Ninth still childless and populated only by the old?

Where are all the people just a year older than Ortus, who he was in the creche with all his life, who he must have know? The gap in the population doesn't seem to just be everyone who was under 18 at the time but also a wide margin above that too...

Some possibilities:

1 - Massive amounts of trauma from the loss of All The Children. Birth control is clearly a perfected art in the Houses and it's possible that a lot of parents couldn't face having another kid after that. Also presumably a number of young adults who lost siblings.

1a - I think of the Aberfan disaster and how survivors and their parents have talked about basically having to leave town because they couldn't handle the resentment from the other parents of the town. Was Ortus isolated purely because there was no one of his age or because his (engineered) escape left him surrounded by people who couldn't stand to even look at him?

2 - Mass flight of the young. The Ninth always had a healthy supply of supplicants from other houses, and I suspect that a number of them would have packed up and returned home after that. Too harrowing (pun unintended). Those who couldn't do that (e.g. Ninth native necros) may have been the last wave of cohort sign-ups from the Ninth.

3 - The books are narrated by teenagers. The populace might not be quite so aged as Gideon says, she's just an arsehole 18 year old and views 40 year olds as geriatric coffin dodgers.

4 - Some unintended necromantic side effect led to mass infertility in the populace. It's possible the necromantic shockwave that Harrow's parents harvested for this also affected the current unborn of the house and the fertility of the adults.

There's something else going on there and it doesn't add up. But I think the Reverend Mother and Father probably weren't expecting all births to halt, instead it would just be a blow to the populace that would recover with time.

ok so very cool that priamhark and pelleamena killed every single child in the ninth nursery in order to conceive a necromancer. except for gideon, who survived for Plot Reasons but like. they didn't know that would happen. and except for ortus, who was ostensibly kept alive to be harrow's cavalier. but like. did they not think even a SINGLE generation past that?? did they not realize that, by killing every child but two, at some point the only adults left on the ninth would (presumably) be harrow and ortus??? did they expect the reverend daughter to PROCREATE with ORTUS NIGENAD???? SHE'S A LESBIAN. WHAT WAS THEIR BACKUP PLAN

[spookyc]

So I was watching season 2 clips of dead end as you do and I was watching the one where Badyah has her totally normal and straight imagining of Norma and Zagan being a thing. You know the whole twilight parody scene. And along with commentors having no sense of humor, of course they have to spin it towards the ship being problematic.

And I will say, as someone who was kinda sorta spoiled on this, I had my worries too, but if you're looking at the actual context of the show, there's nothing to get upset over. Yes, Zagan is 1600, but that's because she was turned when she was 16, so physically, she is still in the body of a 16-year-old. But before you bring up mental age, it's also very clear that she still thinks like a 16-year-old. You don't even have to look at season 2 for this, it's apparent from her first appearance that she's childish and immature.

Like how she talks about how it's "so unfair" that her brother gets to rule over planes when she doesn't. Or later in the finale, when she loses to Temeluchus and is threatening to tell their mom about it. So she's very clearly still a teenager.

And Norma is 17, so what, one year age gap, technically. Is this really what we're getting upset over? Because it's not an issue when a vampire is thousands of years old and looks like an adult and gets with a fellow adult but when a 16 year old gets turned and is 16 for a thousand years and there is the hint of a possible relationship with a 17-year-old, suddenly it's problematic.

This is not the same as the "1,000-year-old loli" that anime likes to use as a cover up. You wanna know why? Because those characters have the appearance of children but supposedly "have the minds of adults" and it's just a twisted way of getting away with having an adult be with what is clearly a child. The same case is true of dragon maid, where the dragons are said to be hundreds of years old but Kana clearly looks like a child and even goes to fucking kindergarten and is still sexualized.

The problem is that there is a clear disconnect between the physical and mental age of the character, but that isn't the case in dead end. Zagan's physical and mental age match up, and her and Norma aren't even sexualized, they literally just kiss in Badyah's imagination which was a twilight parody, it was supposed to be comedic.

And yet I've even see people try to say that "Well Norma doesn't even look her age" which like, excuse my language, but kindly fuck off. I, like Norma, am a very short individual, 5'2 in fact and I can remember a clear and recent example where I was called 16 instead of 18. So you're literally playing into the stereotype that short adults don't exist and that if you're short then you must be younger. But I'm sorry, some people just do not look their age, I often compare myself to that of a 12-year-old boy (which hey, still a boy) but that doesn't make me 12.

Norma isn't portrayed to be any younger than the other characters, she's just at a lesser height compared to them. But that doesn't make her automatically younger than them. And also, I'd like to say, that DE:PP is a CARTOON so of course things are going to be exaggerated, it kinda comes with the medium.

And one final thing, I've also seen people bring up the point of "but what about when Norma gets older" and it's like. Come on, guys. No one actually thinks this ship is going to be endgame. It's simply just not happening and I would be willing to bet my entire bank account on that. Not that I and many others don't enjoy it, but let's be honest with ourselves. Hell, if we're taking Norma's word for it, she literally says Zagan isn't her type. And even if they go back on that now that Norma is training under Zagan, at most, they'll be a fling. But they certainly won't last long enough to be an established couple or anything like. And even in a universe where they were endgame, all that would have to happen is for Zagan to make Norma a vampire with her. And then BOOM problem solved.

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest before twitter inevitably makes a callout post about it, that is, if it doesn't implode within the next few weeks.

[insomniacowl]

Neon genesis Evangelion Analysis Chapter 23: Katsuragi Misato Part 2 Dear Shinji, this is my will.

Misato: So you don't want to meet your dad?

Just like me

Let us start from the beginning. The scene in the first episode where Misato drives down to meet Shinji. Her first words to him were, "Sorry, I made you wait." This, I believe, is the first of many times their interactions will revolve around the theme of "Waiting." The line also contrasts with her final words to Shinji, "Let's continue when you get back."

Her cross is first brought to our attention through Shinji's eyes as Misato shields him from the blast of explosions from the Self-defense force's missiles used against Sakiel. Then, on their way to NERV, Shinji confides to her about his feelings towards Gendou. Misato empathizes, saying, "You're just like me," pointing to their commonalities.

She later consoles Shinji as he refuses to pilot Eva-01 and tells him to "Not run away from himself." At this point, she was already seeing herself reflected in Shinji, and those words were meant for herself as well.

After this point, Misato constantly finds herself reflected on Shinji. While it has a positive influence, like in episode 1, it also frequently caused Shinji to hurt. One criticism viewers lay on Misato is the sarcastic tone she sometimes takes when talking to Shinji about his actions. "You don't want to pilot the Eva? With that kind of determination…. What a pain!", Is one of the harsh words directed at Shinji. Even in episode 12, her cold reaction to Shinji's contemplation regarding Asuka is also, in its own way, infamous.

Yet, if we consider that she sees a lot of herself in Shinji, those lines come to represent her self-contempt rather than how she sees the fourteen-year-old. Misato was not really in the position to take care of teenagers if we consider her character flaws.

While such actions are worthy of criticism, there is room to empathize considering the traumas she had to endure, which has shaped the kind of "Adult" she became. As a young child, she was in the center of the Second Impact, and the psychological impact has led to her being mute for a few years. However, she seemed to have eventually recovered. Perhaps to compensate, we are told that she became an overly happy and talkative person. On top of this, she has studied hard and become a student at the Second-Tokyo city University. She met and began living with Kaji in the year 2005, at the age of twenty. According to Ritsuko, she even had a week-long sex marathon with Kaji, where neither of them left the house during the period.

To elaborate on her constant need for physical pleasure, we can start from the glimpse of her inner monologue we get during the instrumentality. We learn that it was one of the few things she had control over that made her feel alive when she was intimate with Kaji. Yet she breaks up with him because She saw a glimpse of her father reflected in him, although that was what got her attracted to him in the first place.

What are you embarrassed about? You wanted the man you love to see you for who you were. NO!

I wonder about that. You wanted your father to see you for who you were. That's not true!

We can identify Misato as struggling with Electra Complex (Oedipus Complex for girls) regarding how she views her father. She then attempted to quench the thirst for affection her father failed to provide her from a different man who felt similar to him. This can be observed through Kaji and Shinji. Two people sharing the same character flaws as her father (Workaholic and being bad at human interaction) being the two people she opened herself up to (Mentally, emotionally, and sexually). Misato was hoping to compensate for the loss she suffered and recover from her past trauma using her relationship with these two.

Consciously or unconsciously, she likely understood this side of herself. She felt disgusted by herself, leading to her breaking up with Kaji while punishing and labeling herself as someone "Undeserving to love." While her relationship with Kaji was open and overtly described in the series, some of you might wonder how Shinji is involved in this process. Especially regarding the sexual aspect of this analysis.

We can definitively say that Misato and Shinji do not share a simple Guardianship relation. But the discussion about Misato and Shinji can wait for now. First, let us discuss Hyuga Makoto.

Hyuga is seen approaching Misato as more than just a direct superior at work (Especially after Kaji's death). "Only if it's with you (I don't mind dying from the base self-destructing)." It is a telling line that highlights Hyuga's feelings that he begins acting on in the latter part of the series. Turning him into a more dimensional character. While Misato seems to be aware of such advances, we never see her acting on it. Neither accepting nor rejecting him outright. Since this is at the low point of her emotional journey, Misato would have been okay with anyone. Thus, it makes us wonder if there could have been more intimacy between the two off-screen. I'd argue that Hyuga died a virgin (or at least that there was no sexual relationship between the two) based on Hyuga's fantasy during the instrumentality.

To bring our discussion back to Kaji, we are shown that he was the first man she trusted and gave her first intimacy to. At the same time, she was someone Kaji was able to trust and be vulnerable with. We never see either of them refer to each other by their names. While the reason is not depicted, we can make an educated guess and say that it stems from their determination to interact professionally. Without letting their (embarrassing) past hinder their work.

But perhaps it was destined that this guise was not meant to be. In episode 15, we see the two confide in each other. Misato laments about her father and her regret of not being a good lover for Kaji. Kaji embraces and accepts her of it. The last time they ever shared a bed, Kaji gives her his final present. His death led to Misato shedding many tears, but the present helped guide her to her next step. Before this point, we see her constantly drinking her favorite beer, but never after this event. All we see her drink from then on is canned coffee, Kaji's favorite drink. And now, two peoples' worth of "Will" lived on inside her. One from her father, the other from Kaji.

Now, let's discuss the last "Male" in her life: Shinji. As mentioned earlier, Shinji was more than just a child under her care. Shinji's first introduction of Misato was through her photo that she sent him. It is a revealing photo of herself with arrows drawing attention to her breast. As a side note, the actual words in this image were written by Anno himself, and the lipstick mark was from one of the female Gainax staff.

From the photo, we can see that Misato wants Shinji to see her as more than a potential caretaker (as ethically should), but as someone of opposite gender and a "potential" love interest. Although, of course, we can brush it aside as a part of her quirky and fun-loving attitude. But the problem arises in the latter part of the series where this attitude crosses the line. The suspicion is confirmed in the official pamphlet's character introduction describing her as Shinji's family + co-worker + superior + "lover."

Misato: Shinji, I'm going in. This is about all I can do for you right now.

Shinji: No!

The scene central to this discussion happens in episode 23 when she takes her seat next to Shinji, who is grieving the death of Second Rei on his bed. Although surface-level reading is, Misato wants to hold his hands to comfort him. If that is the case, the line "This is all I can do for you right now" is unnecessary. And not only that, but Shinji's rejection of this advance is also too strong to justify the conclusion of the surface level analysis. If anything comes to mind about an act that two grown-up adults do on the bed is "Sex."

Even if we try to give the benefit of the doubt and stay at the surface-level conclusion that is psychologically comfortable, this is Evangelion. It refuses psychological comfort. The film book released by Gainax has a note about this scene that says, "Misato is attempting to give Shinji her body." This is even alluded to in the shot right before the line, the head of the chair being where Shinji's Penis would be, and Misato coming to sit right on top of it.

Throughout the series, both Misato and Asuka approach Shinji as the "Other sex." it's natural for Asuka since they are the same age. However, it is unnatural to think of Misato (Who is twice his age) approaching Shinji sexually (neither should be accepted). So let's dive into how Misato might think about that. As early as episode 2, we are shown Misato yelling at Ritsuko through the phone, saying, "There is no way I will lay my hands on a boy!". This is perhaps foreshadowing what she will be doing in the later part of the series. So what changed in her throughout the series that she would end up trying to lay her hands on Shinji sexually. Did she genuinely believe that it was the only way she can console Shinji? Or perhaps there was a more selfish reason, to distract herself from the sadness of losing Kaji? Well, it could be both. There is a middle ground and an explanation that I prefer. Kaji was the only man she allowed herself to be vulnerable with. Because the best means of communication between the two have been sexual, she most likely believed this to be the most effective way to empathize and be vulnerable with Shinji.

We can see this as another manifestation of her Electra complex if we consider that Shinji also reminds her of her father.

As many of you are aware, Evangelion borrows concepts from psychology and is strongly influenced by Freudian psychoanalysis. Psychological terms are heavily used, especially in later episodes. The characters' internal conflicts are put into the spotlight in episodes 18, 19, and 20. All these episodes use terms from psychoanalysis for their title. Let me touch on each of them briefly over here. Episode 18's title is "Ambivalence." It refers to the coexistence of two conflicting emotions (Love and hate) regarding something and was coined by Eugen Bleuler in 1911. Freud borrowed this term in his analysis. His followers believed it to be an essential state that leads to the sadistic sub-phase of development. Episode 18 is also when the dummy-controlled Eva Unit-01 destroys Bardiel. Thus the title can also help us understand the Destrudo-led sadistic destruction of the dummy program.

Episode 19's title is "Introjection" and was a term heavily used by Freud. It is the unconscious adoption of the ideas or attitudes of others and a psychological defensive mechanism used by the ego to minimize anxiety. Almost every human being goes through this phase and is a part of healthy development as an individual. Episode 19 is when Shinji emits a strong dose of Destrudo and achieves a 400% synchronization rate. Here, we can try to explain the use of this term for the episode title in two ways. The first is to refer to the synchronization process of the pilot and the Evangelion. Secondly (and more specifically to the episode), to refer to Shinji becoming an individual that has become a part of Unit-01. Becoming a part of Unit-01 who have just absorbed the S2 engine and become as though god.

Last is episode 20, titled "Oral stage," and is the stage central to Freud's theory of Libido's development. Libido is the potential sexual energy, and Freud categorized the development into four distinct stages, starting with the oral stage. During this stage of development, the child clings onto its mother's breast for nourishment. This is also when the child begins to develop the ability to distinguish between themselves and the other. The significant happening of episode 20 is salvaging Shinji from Unit-01's Core, trying to bring Shinji back as an individual and away from the comfort of his mother. This can be seen to parallel the child leaving its mother's womb and coming to be born into its own person. And to add, they had to inject Libido into the Core to salvage him.

To return from our long detour, Evangelion is a series that heavily draws its conceptual inspiration from Psychology and Freudian psychoanalysis. What Freud posits, and perhaps most central to his scholarship, understands that desires created by both Libido and Destrudo, any forms of mental energy are irresistible and irrepressible. That is to say, if during one's development if any of such mental energies' expressions are disturbed and blocked off, it will results in the development of harmful coping mechanisms as an adult. In the case of Misato, her father's absence resulted in the absence of ways to healthily release her Libido. Therefore, Misato's inappropriate advance towards Shinji could manifested the harmful coping mechanism she developed as a child.

Losing her father as a child resulted in dysregulation in Libido. Losing Kaji, the only person she truly loved, left Masato broken. At this point, she had no other way to release her desires other than laying hands on a vulnerable child. When both Shinji and Penpen refused her the physical affection she needed, she could only find comfort in listening to Kaji's final voice message in repeat. Yet, she did not lose all possibility to recover. She was able to dry out her tears and began to follow the road her father once took. This leads her to analyze the evidence Kaji passes onto her and begins questioning the truth behind Rei. By the end, she manages to reach close enough to understand the "Truth." This is how she was able to explain to Shinji what was going on. She also experiences character growth through this process, becoming able to fully understand and empathize with the pain of others.

This is also when we see her starting to differ from Asuka. While both lost Kaji, whom they both loved, Misato comes to accept this loss and can carry herself as an adult. By the end, she was mature enough to send the grieving Shinji to Unit-01 during the End of Evangelion. While Misato has always convinced Shinji to get on the Eva, now, she was different from the past. Unlike in episode 4, where she emotionally manipulated Shinji into piloting Eva. Unlike episode 12, where she drew a hard line and coldly forced him. In EOE, she was no longer forcing Shinji out of her own hatred of the angels. All there was, was a grown adult's desire to convince a child that "Life is worth living." Even if she were to die during this process. All there was, was Misato's advice as an adult to the crying child. And it was this "will to live" that was passed on from Misato to Shinji.

Misato places her necklace on Shinji's hands and wraps his hands around it. Just as how she once held onto it while facing death in its face. Her father's memento. The love towards one's family. Hope for humanity. And all else that the cross symbolized. And the cross passed on from Misato to Shinji like the passing of the torch. To pass on the will to live. This was followed by a grown-up's kiss, just like how Kaji showed her, the perfect way to, perhaps the only way to fully communicate this will and pass it on. To want the other to continue living and hoping to live on as a part of their memory.

With the kiss, Misato stopped pretending to be Shinji's inept guardian.

She sent Shinji off, hoping that he could become a grown-up who can stand by himself.

Misato: You will be alone from this point on. You need to choose for yourself.

Shinji: No. I can't.

Misato: Crying isn't going to solve anything, either!

Misato: You hate yourself, don't you? That's why you hurt others. Deep down, you know that you suffer more when you cause someone else pain than if you just let yourself get hurt. But Shinji, that was your decision, so that makes it a valid choice. That's what you wanted, so that makes it worthwhile, Stop lying to yourself, and realize that you do have options. Then accept the choices that you made.

Shinji: But you're not me. You don't understand!

Misato: So what if I'm not you?! That doesn't mean it's okay for you to give up! If you do, I'll NEVER forgive you as long as I live.

Misato: I'm not perfect either. I've made tons of stupid mistakes, and later, I regretted them. And I've done it over and over again. A cycle of hollow joy and vicious self-hatred. But even so, every time, I learned something about myself.

Please, Shinji. You've got to pilot Eva and settle this once and for all. Find out why you came here. Why you exist at all.

And when you've found your answers, come back to me. Promise me. See you soon.

Kaji: Go and do what you can. No one will force that choice on you. Think for yourself and decide for yourself. GO and do what you must right now. So that you don't live to regret it.

Misato: If I had known it would end like this, I would have changed the carpet as Asuka suggested.

Many discussions about Eva centered around her last words, the one about the Carpet and Asuka. Most of the theories have interpreted it with the spilled coffee during the instrumentality scene. I'll touch on the scenes shown in instrumentality in future chapters. But for the discussion here, note that the coffee was not spilled on the carpet during the instrumentality scenes. So I'd instead interpret this line separately from it. Personally, I believe this to be Misato, as an adult, regretting not being as kind and compassionate as she could have been to Asuka.

Unlike Shinji, who she managed to pass on her will and true feelings, she did not have that privilege with Asuka. Instead, she wallowed in her sadness, not looking out for Asuka, who was herself suffering from traumas and grief. The regret of not being a good guardian and not making the home comfortable for Asuka would have hit her as waves of regret crashed in as she laid bleeding cold on the floor of section R-20.

After Shinji, who she just sent off, Asuka, who she feels sorry for, After Penpen, who was always there for her, Kaji now crosses her mind. Was she waiting for his praise for passing on his will to Shinji?

As though she can see him, she stares at the sky. Right before the explosion, we see Rei standing over her. Perhaps it was Lilith who traveled through time.

And we come to the final scene of the EoE. Shinji and Asuka are lying down on the shore, staring at the sky. At this moment, we are reminded of Misato through the cross, now nailed to a wooden post. The cross has come to symbolize Misato's hope and dreams for the two children who will now be growing up into two adults. Will Misato be able to revert back to her human form by her soul desiring it? Nobody knows. But I don't think that matters. Because now, Shinji carries on her will.

Let's continue when you get back.

I'm back. Welcome back.

Welcome Shinji, this is your new home.

I'm back.

Welcome back!

Sorry, made you wait!

TBC Chapter 24: Ritsuko Part 1 Mother and Daughter

[blue-shaded]

If Mark weren't doing literal sex work I'd have issue, but that's what this is. This is sex work. He may not be doing anything outright explicit but he is using his body, the attraction to it, the demand for sexuality, and understands and is consenting to the way these photos are going to be used explicitly which is a huge basis of sex work. Saying he's exploiting anyone is ignoring that people are consenting to his terms. It's not different than people accusing female streamers as being exploitative because they're attractive and know it and people donate for that reason. If someone isn't adult enough to understand and consent to the terms of this then they need an adult in their lives to step in. I'm a full time sex worker, I don't hold out love for celebrity's invading our spaces with bullshit and fake outs and scams, but the man doesn't need his dick swinging to be doing sex work. It's the appropriate platform with the appropriate consents, appropriate age barriers. He may be using it for the personal gain of his friends but hes not being underhanded about anything, this is all pretty clear cut. I don't love him, I don't respect a lot of choices he's made, but this is isn't any more exploitative than any other promotion, and definitely not exploitative by selling sexuality with that on the tin.

So let me make this clear before I start the endless asks on mark since I've been on hiatus ( I was sick for a week..) I am not against sexwork or sexworkers. I respect that line of work and those people because I know it's much more than just paying for sex. HOWEVER. What mark is doing is giving me the creeps. Yes onlyfans is an 18+ platform but there is no saying those things will get out to minors elsewhere on the internet. There's plenty of places where onlyfans footage gets out from the age barrier. In pretty much everyone else's onlyfans there's a clear consent between the person making the content and the person receiving the content. And while YES this is for charity. Mark yet again, entirely fails to acknowledge that there is a parasocial aspect to everything he does. people worship that man. Teenagers would kill to get their hands on that content. It IS exploitative. Which is why I am against youtubers doing stuff for charity while exploiting their audiences. This is just like thankmas except it's NSFW. It's taking advantage of your audience, peer pressuring them into spending money towards your own ego. If he wants to do sexwork because he likes to do that. he can go right ahead but then sell it under the proper thing that it is. Not this. it's wrong on so many levels.

[beeanca-writing]

Okay I just discovered your story Exiled from Court and I loved it! How did you come up with the story and the characters? What would you say inspired you to write this story? And whatt was your favorite scene to write? Bunch of questions sorry!

Hi!!

Thank you so much! I've been a little down lately so that's great to hear <3 :-)

This got a little long so I put it under a read more!

I came up with Exiled from Court last year while taking a break from my other WIP, An Elemental Existence. I wanted to work on something with a more fun protagonist (An Elemental Existence's MC is fun to write, but they're a whiny teenager who hasn't had much experience in life yet), and also something more adult - I was in a different phase of my life, having turned 18 a few months before, and wanted to write something that represented this new Messy phase of going out, getting drunk and letting the consequences for the next day (before the pandemic at least.... rip).

I've always been very interested in history, particularly Brazil's Empire phase, a lot of it brought on by my father's interest in this topic. I also hadn't seen any IF games that set place in Brazil, or even South America, and I wanted something that could honor my country, not stereotype it (favela! futebol! Neymar! etc.) while still being honest about how difficult things are here in the Brazilian land.

As for inspiration: I believe the biggest one was the TV show Fleabag, particularly the main character. I was awed how they constructed such a complex, charming, deeply troubled main character that fucked up so often, yet I kept rooting for her and wanted her to be able to help herself and quit her self-destructive tendencies. And though I know I'm still far from reaching any of the Fleabag's writers' ability, I certainly would like to get there!

Another inspiration was two Brazilian books: O Chalaça by José Roberto Torero and A Carne e o Sangue by Mary Del Priore.

Last but not least: my fave scene to write is a hard question, but I think, up until now, it would have to be the first conversation between The Hedonist and their sister, Evie, after years of no contact. I'm my own worst critic (as many writers are) but I very much enjoy how I've been able to write their complex relationship and show that, although Evie is a difficult character who finds it easier to blame their sibling for everything instead of taking accountability for her mistakes, too, she still very much loves them sibling and wishes they would just get it together lmao She just... has no idea how to say it.

Ty again! :-)

[chaos-event-horizon]

Taking a screenshot cause I don't necessarily want to derail/contradict this post. It has a good point. Old guys specifically going after teenage girls under 18 is VERY suspicious and unhealthy. But I wanna talk about what happened in my head as I started reading it.

Here's the post:

~~~

The second I read "old men dating younger", I almost rolled my eyes and scrolled past. Because I'm so fucking used to people rambling about ALL age gaps being bad, and equating a 49 year old and 27 year old dating to pedophilia, that I almost just assumed this was yet another idiotic post about that shit. I'm so used to every single post about people of differing ages dating being bad even when they're older than 20, that for a second I thought this was gonna be yet even more bullshit about two ADULTS dating. For a very hot minute, I was living in a world where ACTUAL predatory behavior doesn't happen, because I'm used to seeing EVERYTHING be accused as being predatory no matter how benign and negligible the age difference is. And that shit is dangerous and EXACTLY why I've been so frustrated with that line of thinking.

I'd argue that no one is "deluded" into dating someone older, y'all are so busy infantilizing everyone younger than 30 that people my age are suddenly having to fight to be treated like adults here on the internet. And at the same time being treated like a predator for existing in our own spaces! I'm like fucking Schrodinger's cat with this shit, constantly being treated simultaneously like a child that can't make his own decisions AND like a monster out to hurt The Youth. I'll talk about my hot older boyfriend and get 15 angry anon messages saying that I'm "promoting pedophilia" by dating him and being happy-- because he's 49, and I'm fucking 27. I never see this so called "weaponized incompetence", because all I DO see is people demonizing literally any relationship that has an age gap bigger than 2 years. And THIS is why I wish y'all would shut the fuck up about gaps in ages between two full grown adults! Because you have competetly desensitized everyone and turned every molehill you can find into a fucking mountain! And I just really goddamn wish you'd spend half as much time and energy helping actual victims of abuse instead of shitting on happy adults, because as a survivor I absolutely hate that I'm starting to ignore every post that talks about ages. It's awful that we've gotten to this point.

You need to do better for the sake of these teenage girls you claim to be worried for, so they don't get ignored just because everyone is sick of shipping discourse age-gap bullshit.