#i would hunt this guy for sport (affectionate)

[fluffypotatey]

also. azure lion

to be specific, the phishing emails would pertain to swk and they would be about how to woo and crush your ex-friend/monkey whom you used as a weapon

[squiddy-god]

dorm leaders and a chubby s/o

As a chubby guy my self I absolutely love Chubby readers, this was written in the early days when I wasn't writing all my readers implied to be chubby- dark times I know- since I am almost done with restoration ⚠︎REQUEST ARE OPEN⚠︎ please send in request, my navigation post has links to anything you would need! And if you don't wanna request you can always just chat! Anon is always open

CW : fluff, chubby readers supremacy

Riddle 

Riddle lives you no matter what! 

You being chubby does not affect him at all, besides your super soft and good for cuddles

Will not tolerate slander on your name weather from yourself or others 

Gets really angry when people comment rude things about you 

Isn't one for PDA but he'll hold your hand, especially when your insecure 

Lowkey loves your hugs sm because gosh your just so amazing 

You make him so red in the face aksbsosndhskebje like how can you be so cute 

You can always tell who was talking smack because they will have riddles collar thing and will avoid your gaze 

And the screaming from riddle 

Very soft with you 

Azul 

He knows exactly how you feel when you feel insecure

Azul is very understanding because he also used to be chubby

Loves your hugs so much because your warm and soft ✨ 

If you let him lay his head on your thighs he would probably die on the spot 

Seriously he loves to rest his head on your nice plush thighs 

Talk shit get hit, or in this case, hunted for sport by two very tall eel Bois

Actually gets angry when people mermer about you because oof that shit hits close to home

Really good at comforting you because he says all the things he wishes he was told

Always compliments you ❤

Leona 

Literally not a fuck in sight 👀 he gives no shits

You are good for naps tho

Loves to lay on your tummy and sleep for hours 

Thinks your such a cute little herbivore

Ur a snack ❤

When your down and sad he'll legit just pull you into his lap and cuddle tf out of you ✨ 

Has heard people talk smack about your weight and it always irks him 

Probably gave someone a black eye about it

Not the best at comforting you but he'll tell you that those people are just assholes and not worth your time 

Kalim 

Aksnakamdbsks 𝕐𝔼𝕊 𝕐𝔼𝕊 𝕐𝔼𝕊

Loves you so much!! Everything, from your cute cheeks to your soft hugs and adorable tummy

Am I biased? Extremely. Does that change the fact that I think kalim would ADORE a chubby s/O?? Not at all

Always wants hugs from you because your soft and warm and make his heart go brrrrrrr

Always gives you the most heartfelt compliments 

If your insecure about the close you were then he'll let you know just how much he loves anything you put on 

Gets legitimately confused and mad when someone talks bad about you and has no shame in asking what there problem is

Really good at comforting you and will cuddle you while calling you cute pet names 🥺

Vil

😤👏body👏positive 👏vil 👏

Vil firmly believes that just because your chubby doesn't mean that your not beautiful and adorable 

👏all bodys are gorgeous 👏 

Always seems to pick clothes that look fabulous on you and also make you feel comfortable

Won't admit it out loud but he loves your plump cheeks and tummy 

Pitches your cheeks Affectionately 

Someone : *talks shit about you* 

Vil : rook hold my teira 

Literally has 0 patience for someone slandering your name and putting you down 

Will fight 

Probably likes to trace any stretch marks you may have and tell you your beautiful/handsome/gorgeous

Also won't let you put yourself down 

Idia

Your so cute he couldn't even look at you without blushing, even from behind his tablet, seeing your chubby cheeks in HD was a 1 hit k.o 

Once your together he's pretty comfy around you (and probably only you lmao) and oh boy does he want ✨cuddles ✨

Your like perfect for cuddles, your soft, warm, plush, adorable, don't fight him on this you can't change his stubborn mind, and yes he has a PowerPoint on why he's right

You'll be cuddling and suddenly he'll get the wildest, toothy grin and squish your tummy or pitch your cheeks 

Immediately blushes and shys away 

Sometimes he'll just rant/ramble about how cute you are as if he's talking about one of his hobbies (a.k.a talking at light speed and info dumping for hours) 

Someone : *talks shit about you* 

Idia : *about to roast them both figuratively and literally* 

Ortho : * pulls out magic laser* 

Idia knows what it's like to be bullied and it makes him angry to see people treat you like that 

Get you your favorite snacks and has you sit in his lap and game with him to comfort you (and lets u win Mario kart) 

Malleus 

Oh absolutely

Something about you, his chubby little human, makes his heart go brrrrr

He's so curious and he likes to poke and squish your tummy and thighs (lovingly) 

Takes any and all opportunities to lay his head on your lap 

Behind closed doors he's a cuddle feind 

Stairs at you lovingly from across the room 

Gives you lots of small complements because they just came to him and he's like "haha gotta tell y/n that! " 

I'd recommend not talking shit about you because malleus is not having ✨any of it✨ 

Legit gets so angry when people badmouth you because he just doesn't understand why they would 

But they won't be talking for long that's for sure

꒷���꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚ ꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚

[muuurder]

your finest gaara headcanons my good regent

*breathes* I have so many anon thank you for asking. I’ll put more under cut to spare people from a long post lol.

*cracks knuckles*

-starting us off right here: I flip between Gaara’s gender but honestly I maintain the idea he has tboy swag and most of Suna was too afraid to question it for years and now it’s just the norm. Not to mention his general physique and medical neglect aided in pushing off puberty.

-gaara still has erratic mood swings post chin in exams even when he’s getting better and learning. That boy faced traumatic events from a young age and then was neglected and hunted for sport on top of total isolation. That shit doesn’t go away just because a blonde boy punches you with the power of friendship ok.

-that being said I will maintain the idea his siblings Lee and Naruto are the only ones he feels he can relax a bit with.

-also I do not see people making him weird enough. Cause affectionately as someone who like also experienced isolation, trauma and neglect. You end up having weird interests and like just a r e the weird kid. And I mean yes he is the weird kid, but like…… make him weirder you know lol.

- he loves gardening he talks to his plants. He also likes animals, and is fiercly protective of small kids. That amplifies as he gets older and temari has kids of her own.

-I also think he is a funny guy but his humor is super dry or a little dark. But he will catch you off guard and say some of the most out of pocket shit I swear.

-I am a medaru is gaara’s biological kid truther. I’ll maintain the idea medaru was not planned. Lee absolutely stayed in Suna for a longer period of time and Lee subjected Gaara to routine and healthy habits and the stars aligned and medaru happened.

-honestly ever since I read the brunch fic (I linked it I love it please.) I love the idea of modern au gaara incorporating his mother’s ashes into his garden. It’s sweet.

-I also love the idea that the face tattoo fades as time goes on. Like he stops carving out the wound as a reminder and it fades with time which is a lovely show of his character change.

-I also like everyone else believe he and Lee begin corresponding through letters. Particularly I think the letters begun either after gaara’s death, where Lee wrote to him. Or perhaps Gaara begun them because he was growing and changing and felt guilty about Lee and reached out (at Naruto’s suggestion.)

-following the last point, I can never decide if when gaara died in shippuden if I headcanon Lee realized he was inlove with him and had feelings then the moment he thought he lost gaara.

-both Lee and gaara are gossip mongers I do not care. Gaara finds out so much shit and caught the gossip gene from his brother. He is nosy.

-I also think gaara is still a menace. A little shit even. He thinks it’s funny to fuck with people just a little bit.

-that being said I think he doesn’t do it often unless you work with him or he’s really close and you know he would never hurt you now.

- adding onto that, I will also say I headcanon that in his attempt to become more palatable for his people and suppress his mood swings and correct his behavior, he gets taken advantage of more often and gaara just lets it happen more sometimes because he’s afraid of slipping back into the old image. Especially once he feels connected to his people again. Gaara despite past transgressions chooses to be kind and gentle. He always was a kind gentle child. I think that shows a lot more as an adult and that shit takes so much strength.

-I am a rasa hater so. You know. Fuck rasa, he abused all his kids post the death of their mother.

-I also love the idea gaara has super human senses from shukaku. He can see better at night, detect and smell things better. That being said he isn’t immune to illness, he has gotten sick because his health is absolute dookie okay. He doesn’t sleep his immune system is shit.

-he had the fattest crush on Naruto I do not care lol.

-he doesn’t exactly hate sasuke. But he very much dislikes him because he mistreats Naruto.

-gaara is a crier. Like when he isn’t compartmentalizing and disassociating to cope with his mood swings and trauma, he is a leaky faucet.

-also convinced the whole chunin arc was a really fucked up way of him going friend? Because literally the only way he ever learned to socialize is through violence. The whole thing with him showing up at sasuke’s training was he tried to be friend cause he said “oh you’re fucked up too huh? Wanna fight about it?”

-gaara has the earth sign stank face when he doesn’t like something.

-gives solid advice

-modern au headcanons (might be courtesy of the moss cough cough) he would get into therapy and want to become a therapist lol, he gives solid advice. Also the incident with Lee will always be either he hits him with a car or my personal favorite (potentially for a fic I am brewing) he beat that fucker with a lead pipe when Lee tried to be a Good Samaritan and got involved :)

-also love the idea of gaara had substance abuse issues to cope in modern aus.

-oh and I love when shukaku is brought in as a fucking small crusty white dog with bad manners and barks too much. I may be biased because I have a white crusty small dog who barks too much and has an attitude that rivals god himself.

-gaara hilariously doesn’t actually like fighting especially as an adult. He by nature is nervous and it just sets his ass on edge.

-last thing I’ll say, he is a bratty bottom. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[snakegorl212006]

Pomefiore Journal Entries

-------------Rook hunt---------------------------------

-We’ve met truly in sam’s shop

-his stocking tendencies are certainly….concerning

-literally he doesn't need to be waiting outside my window 

-this makes me question how long he has been doing this

-the necklace barely tracks him which explains why nothing much happened when i was around

-didn’t even vibrate once 

-unless he’s 1 inch close to touching me

-other then he’s kinda weird, he is really gentleman like

-definitely can be very helpful when it comes to finding things or tracking down grim when he stole something of mine again

-he has this whole things around the pursuing of beauty which it’s cool 

-sometimes there’s a minor language barrier as he likes to switch to french every now and then 

-he likes to compliment people in french often

-based on experience with the others, asking about how he died might be a sensitive subject 

-rook and the others were popular in the 20’s and there deaths were compleat mysteries

-still haven’t yet to ask him

-----------Vil schoenheit-----------------------------

-I thought he’ll be meaner 

-not saying he’s not on the sassy side of things but he’s nice at the same time

-kinda like a nagging mom

-he likes to see if I’m doing well health wise

-if he see me not looking my best when i come in i automatically dragged by vil, epel(my savor) helping me escape the queen's wrath, or rooks huntting me down by vil’s orders 

-”just dress and look nicely, have good manners and posture and you should avoid his wrath”-epel

-well he gives me a reason to use those fancy outfits that i would wear only once 

-but that doesn't stop him for the need to dress me up in his old clothing

-”someone has to put them in good use”-vil 

-possessive and controlling in a understatement for this guy 

-he never likes when i bring people around and more vocal about it then the people in heartslabyul 

-always holds some sort of jealousy with other people of the living

-he has this aura which acts like a narcotic 

-apparently he can activate this toxic air at will 

-i did ask him why he knocked me out before but it turned into a scolding session on my sleep schedule and my overall health 

-Don’t mechonded his rival 

-AT

-ALL

-Neige leblanche is a actor and model who only risen to fame recently and “stole”(vil’s words not mine) the title of “the most beautiful person in the world”

-Rook likes Neige a lot and it pisses Vil a lot to a certain degree  

-he likes to talk about his past accomplishments and sometimes even the true reason why he performed in such ways or why he made that song

-definitely more meaningful than a documentary

-”they only have one part of the main story” he said 

-he sometimes call me sweet potato when he needs something or feeling affectionate

-definitely have to be cautious around

-he’s just as addicting as the poison drugs he makes  

-sweet and dotting as he is, he definitely has some red flags 

-----Epel Felmier------------------------------

-don’t call him cute. Period. Not even as a complement(he wanted me to write this down) -away from vil’s gaze he has a cute cool country accent -he often asked me to help him to tend to the gardens and his apple tree -love to talk about his family and his life before meeting Vil -He can’t stand Vil and 100% blames him for his death -i managed to piece together that some poison was involved by vil himself -i didn't ask any more then that -i understand his rightful anger tho -he teaches me how to handle vil’s poisonous aura by offering me a bottle of apple juice which had herbs that combat the smell -Vil taught him how to make it and instructed him to give me some -when he’s not busy doing whatever task vil needs him to do, he likes to explore the other properties along with me when i do my rounds -other times he likes to watch and play sports -one winter he taught me how to use a sled using whatever animal was around to help us.(it was fun)

[louis-quatorze]

watching the Amsterdam episode now

ongoing thoughts

- why are they even playing Ajax. what level are Richmond at. when is this. if this is the international break why is Ajax playing. you’d assume Richmond would also have internationals (Sam at least, right?). god the actual football in this show drives me fucking insane. (I know the answer is “Sudekis and Hunt wanted to go back to Amsterdam on Apple’s dime” but still)

- this is exactly how all Dutch sports journalists talk and it is so funny to see non-Dutch people deal with it 

- graag gedaan

- Jamie’s Facts of Amsterdam

- Rebecca the bike lanes are obvious. Get out of the red! (Also most canals in the center don’t even have those)

- you can swim in the canals but I wouldn’t in the city center (out of it, though, or along the Ij is often fine)

- Johan Cruyff is, indeed, that cool. I miss him

- hehehe herring

- it is extremely funny that Jan’s suggestion is going to Groningen which is extremely Groningen of him. but also what is Martin Garrix doing up there

- if it’s Museumnacht and also possible to see the Northern Lights it’s the wrong time of year for a tulip, sorry Dani. they can probably get you one of those wooden ones though.

- seriously though why are you bringing drugs to the Netherlands the best drugs are here and we’re proud of it

- the himbos are the only part of this show that are still a comedy

- the Dutch is funny though (including the not-translated bits) and hearing Jan talk it is also funny

- niet gezellig, hé

- Jamie’s cute in his little Grealish hair

- hey it’s Prik! I have spent a decent amount of time in that bar considering I don’t even live in Amsterdam. it’s a cute bar, good crowd, my friend used to work there. it’s not on the main street of gay bars, which probably makes it less intimidating to Colin. 

- gezellig

- Boat Guy is extremely Dutch (positive)

- oh here’s where they’re using Zij gelooft in mij. It’s cute!

- lmao at Jamie getting some “used bikes” off a junkie on the street. you don’t see that much any more (particularly where they were) but when Hunt and Sudekis used to live there it was pretty common

- everyone’s said this but it is sweet that Colin and Trent’s conversation is at the Homomonument. (also not far from Prik even if you stop for beers.) 

- just realizing that this is a very dry night in Amsterdam, not common

- everyone has such great Facts About Amsterdam. good job being the Amsterdam tourist board, cast of Ted Lasso

- what strings did Ted have to pull to get a Museumnacht ticket at random

- Richard is right, they should not try Dutch food, it’s bad. note Jan was not suggesting it. (seeing them all pile into a FEBO would be funny though)

- extremely sweet that they manage to get a discussion of the word “gezellig” into this. if I didn’t already know that they were fond of the Netherlands, that would do it.

- hey it’s Derek! He has lines! (He’s the waiter Ted takes a pen from.) That’s actually pretty exciting, he wasn’t sure he would actually be in the show, it’s his first TV role

- there are American-themed restaurants here and they are often like that and it’s extremely funny. I’m obsessed with all of them

- Hunt showing off his Dutch. I didn’t realize until this episode that he was here for 10 years, that’s pretty serious

- if Beard had got his drugs in the Netherlands they wouldn’t have been duds you know

- Roy is a lot braver than me, I tried riding on the back of a bike once and it sucked ass

- in the end, this is a pretty sweet tribute to Amsterdam - you can tell that they’re affectionate towards the city and the Dutch and wanted to show that. I’m charmed by how much they clearly just wanted to showcase the city and its charms, and I think they did a good job of it. 

[scavengerssuccotash]

For the clintasha one liner prompt thing, could you do: ‘what the fuck are you flirting with Banner for? I’m right here Natasha!’

(maybe with the background that Clint x Nat had broken up lately, neither of them are over it, and Clint is jealous as hell) thank you!

Tony throws a charity event once a year to inspire New York’s upper crust to dip into their pocketbooks for a chance to brush elbows with heroes. It’s a swanky party with free-flowing champagne, an open bar, and Hors D'oeuvre’s gliding above heads atop silver trays. Clint wouldn’t call it a good time, though the limitless alcohol is certainly lubricating the definition of what he considered good. He would normally blow this kind of party off, but Tony had bribed him with the promise of experimental arrow heads if he attended, which was a kind gesture in of itself considering their teammate status. Clint would be lying if the prospect of abusing Tony’s immeasurable wealth and intelligence weren’t also a factor. Poor boy Barton is rectifying decades of financial pitfalls, he thinks sourly to himself.

The party is slowly winding down now, Clint had done his part. He is rather pleased with himself for making it to the end without sneaking off. He signed autographs, feigned platitudes and even flirted a bit and as thanks for all his work Clint’s getting his hands on some snazzy new tech. The energizing prospect buoys him through the last gaggle of elitists and he waves one woman off, some heiress to a department store, with a scandalous wink. By the time he makes his way back to the bar to hunt down the attendant for his fifth whiskey that night, the self-satisfied grin that was on his face crumbles into a snarl at the sound of a familiar melodic laughter.

He finds the source mere seconds after he rounds the corner.

Natasha.

Natasha is sitting on a bar stool and laughing at something Banner said. An ugly feeling twists in his gut at the sight of her hand running up and down his leg. An even uglier feeling calcifies into the hard lines of his face as he sports, what Natasha used to affectionally call, his murder face. Natasha doesn’t seem to notice him, or if she does she pays him no mind, as she tips her head back and laughs, exposing the long pale line of her throat which if followed would dive straight down to her cleavage. Clint knows he has to act the second he sees Banner’s head dip ever so slightly downward.

On the prowl Clint stalks forward. “Hey guys, what’s so funny?”

Banner’s head snaps around on cue and the smile Natasha was wearing slips as her face falls into a pointed glare by the time Clint stands beside them.

“Sorry, this seat taken?” Clint asks and before either of them can answer he promptly squeezes himself onto the seat between them. “No, good. So, great party, huh guys!? Think we raised enough money for Tony to get a new yacht this year?”

Banner coughs a bit before shyly looking down into his scotch. “I should probably go—”

“You don’t have to Bruce, really.” Natasha says the same time Clint feigns his disappointment.

“Ohh, nooo. Shame we were just getting started! But hey I get it.” Clint fake pouts as he claps a hand over Bruce’s shoulder. “Some guys just can’t go all night.”

Bruce grits his jaw, but otherwise says nothing as he sets his drink aside and leaves without a backwards glance. Mission accomplished. Natasha, however, is seething.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Clint. We were just talking!” Natasha hisses. The grip on her drink tightens and for a brief wonderful second Clint thinks she might throw it into his face. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Clint whips around to face her, as he was admiring the defeated slump of Bruce’s shoulders as he ran away. “Yeah? Just talking? You know he was staring at your tits, right?”

Natasha rolls her eyes and angrily crosses her arms which only seems to accentuate her supple bosom much to Clint’s extreme satisfaction. When was the last time he had his face in those? Two weeks? Three? Since their spectacularly public breakup, time had moved on sluggishly and blurred together in a long stream of achingly lonely days. If anyone had asked him what day of the week it was, Clint wouldn’t know.

Natasha shoots him a glare and says with an air of extreme haughtiness, “Maybe I wanted him to stare at my tits, Clint. Did you ever think of that, hm?”

If she means to goad him, it works, but two can play at that game and they’ve played this dance before. Clint knows the steps well. He leans back, and puts on a show of leering at her. His blue eyes drag lazily from the bright hard set of her eyes to her sumptuous pouty lips, down the line of her pale throat that he’s very fond of marking with his mouth and finally land comfortably on her breasts. His mouth waters furiously while his dick stirs to attention. Was it really only three weeks ago that he was able to bring her to panting desperation with just his mouth? With that memory it seems to him the cause of their breakup was really pathetic in hindsight. Who gives a fuck about living together when the prospect of fucking in two beds is right there. Afterall, two is better than one. It’s basic arithmetic.

“Is that what you want, Nat? You want a beast drooling over you? Cuz I can work with that.” Clint says, his voice low and brimming with dark promise as he leans forward to whisper into her ear. “All you had to do was ask, Princess.”

His hand lands on her knee. Natasha shivers. He can hear her breathing heavily against his ear as his fingers glide up her thigh beneath the silk of her dress. Clint pulls back his shot as his fingers grace the crease between her hip and thigh and then releases it with a nip to her ear.  “No sense in flirting with Banner when I’m right here, baby.”  

He knows he hits his mark when she gasps as her nails dig into his forearm.

(Thank you for prompting me! I hope you enjoy it! Poor Bruce 😂)

[uncivilcivilservice]

Strange Gifts

Armand/Daniel drabble, also featuring Louis and Lestat. Set on Night Island, sometime post-canon. Possibly the stupidest thing I've ever written.

“I've got a gift for you” Daniel announced as he turned the corner to where Louis and Armand were waiting.  

“What is it?” Armand said, eyes still glued to the screen of his iPhone, casting a light blue glow onto his face.  

“Lizard’s tail.”  

That got Armand’s attention, his phone was immediately pocketed, and ghostly white hands stretched out to take the gruesome token, which Daniel was tactfully pinching by the very tip of the scaly appendage.  

While Armand examined the object, turning it round in his hands, peering at the cross section of muscle and bone left where the tail had broken off from the frightened creature that dropped it, Louis looked between him and the bringer of the gift with an arched brow.  

“Where did you even find that?” Louis stepped closer to look over Armand’s shoulder as he bent the tail back and forth, testing it’s flexibility.  

“Just on the porch, I dunno if the storm earlier today had anything to do with it or if the lizard was just trying to escape something, but it seems fresh, must be from today.” 

The pair stood in silence watching Armand play with his new toy, now squeezing the tail near the base to see the effect on the flesh and bone as they grinded together under pressure.  

Daniel shook his head affectionately, looking back to Louis. 

“Where’s the big guy then? I know he likes to be fashionably late, but has anyone actually checked that he remembers he’s supposed to be coming with us tonight?”  

The four of them, Daniel, Armand, Louis and Lestat, had arrived at Night Island the day before, and were due to take a boat to the mainland to feed, and just explore Miami for a while.  

“I’m not Lestat’s keeper, phone him and tell him to hurry up.” 

Before Daniel could even reach to take his phone out his pocket, his eye was drawn back to Armand as he raised his hand and darted his head forward to lick at the blood oozing from the detached tail.  

“Armand, don’t do that!” Daniel barked a surprised laugh, making a futile grab for the gift he was starting to regret giving. Louis for his part simply sighed as he leaned against the glass railing, shaking his head as Armand’s face briefly screwed up in disgust, before returning to his trademark blank stare as he considered the tail, as though adding his observations to whatever analysis he was making of the fleshy specimen.  

“I take it you’re happy with the gift then?” Daniel asked, still laughing incredulously at Armand’s antics. 

Armand fixed Daniel with an intense, almost predatory stare. His grin, however, made it seem more like the look of a housecat hunting for sport, than any predator chasing down it’s meal out of hunger.  

“Very happy lover. Let me show you.” He leapt at Daniel, arm reaching to catch him by the back of the neck to pull him into a kiss.  

Had he still been a mortal Daniel would have had no chance at evading him, but even as young in the blood as he was, Daniel still managed to lean away just quickly enough that Armand couldn’t quite get the grip on him he needed to share a lizard-blood laced kiss with his fledgling.  

“Absolutely not” Daniel broke away and started running back down the veranda, his laugh echoing off the marble floors and glass wall. Armand didn’t make much of a chase however, not wanting to damage the delicate gift, he headed back inside to find a jar to preserve it in with alcohol and to investigate what was holding their Prince up for so long.  

With the tail safely stored in the kitchen for later, Armand walked back outside to find Louis looking out over the water, and Daniel on his phone, distracted.  

Walking up to his fledgling, Armand spoke in the softest voice he could manage; “Daniel?” 

Daniel made a small noise of acknowledgement before glancing up from his phone. He dropped his arm entirely as Armand ran his fingers up it, leaning up to close the distance between them until he met Daniel’s lips with his own.  

Daniel had leaned into the kiss for several moments before he remembered why he had been trying to avoid kissing Armand just minutes earlier. He pushed away from Armand, hand rushing to wipe at his mouth dramatically while Armand cackled in delight.  

“I am here! Are we ready to go?” Lestat bounded through the doorway with a grin, which faded as he looked upon the scene, where Louis, exasperated, but more amused than he would admit, was already walking ahead towards the private dock, leaving behind Armand who had laughed himself into tears, next to Daniel who was still putting on a commendable performance of disgust, with mutterings of “I can’t believe you did that” and “do we still have any mouthwash upstairs” even as he held back his own laughter.   

“What did I miss?” Lestat pouted at having been left out on a joke.  

“I brought Armand a gift and it backfired, now let's go, I need to find some piece-of-shit to wash my mouth out with.” Daniel draped an arm over a smug Armand, and together they headed to catch up with Louis.  

[drpeppertummy]

hi! can I ask about b5 c4 and e4 for your group of little guys (in my mind I think of them as “Sunny's Gang”)

sunnys gang💖dont let laurie hear u sayin that shes gonna hunt him for sport

Who’s most likely to need to undo a button or two? - sunny 4 sure. because of his tendency to overeat And his tendency to wear tight clothes. hes not even overly embarrassed about it

Who is most likely to affectionately tease an overstuffed friend? - this ones a tie between sunny laurie & carrie. laurie might be a little meaner than the other two (at least with sunny, who is the one shes generally teasing) but still reasonably gentle. carrie is more likely to just be silly & friendly about it. sunny is surprisingly attentive when a friends tummy hurts but will still tease a tiny bit

Which character would be most likely to wind up stuffed savoring a fancy multiple-course meal complete with wine, appetizers, a cheeseboard, and dessert? - ive discussed this one before with friends & came to the conclusion that while none of them are particularly likely to find themselves in such a situation, i could see sunny & laurie teaming up to make such a dinner for the whole group in the comfort of one of their kitchens, in which case All of them would wind up stuffed silly

[manufactoredxbyxdesign]

Name: James Sunderland

Age: 29

Do you like to cuddle?: A lot, actually. Big spoon or little spoon.

Can we make-out?: I mean if you want- Yes.

A night in or dinner out?: Dinner out. I want to impress you even though I know I probably won't.

Whip cream or chocolate syrup?: Whip cream. Easier to clean.

Chocolates and roses?: You don't take me as a sweets kind of guy, so, roses. Would black ones be too cliche?

What makes you a good Valentine?: I'm loyal, very loving, and if you'll allow me I'll be very affectionate.

Would you cook for me?: Yes, but it wouldn't be fancy.

Would you let me cook for you?: Uh, yeah, sure if you want.

Where would you take me on a date?: Gut says you're not an amusement park kind of guy, or would like going to the movies. Maybe a museum? That's the nicest place I can think of.

Who’s paying?: I'd save up to pay for you. Just kind of doesn't seem right to make you pay.

What did you get me for Valentine’s Day?: What do you get a man who has everything? Would cologne be too weird? Probably.

"You have the disposition and continuous anxiety of a man being hunted for sport...

...

...

So yes."

[chancellorxofxtrash]

2, 7, 8, 12, 16, 20, 23, 25, 27, and 29 Michinaga and Neon

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you’ve sent me a character I don’t like)

Neon: she was always near and dear to me but when I realized she was kinda a dumdum. I love a girl with no braincells. I love her so much.

Michinaga: I recently reread my initial liveblogs when I called him "freckleface bitchboy" before I learnt his name, and I always meant it affectionately, so yeah. Always. But probably during the Concentration Game especially, when we found out more about his past

7. A quote of them that you remember

Neon: I can't recall it word by word, but I really love the scene when she grabs her mother's wrist as she tries to hit her again and asserts that she WILL escape

Michinaga: that simple. "And?" when Beroba points out he is just like those riders he hated. That made me feral and mental for many different reasons

8. Your favorite outfit of them

Neon: her outfits are always so cute, I really can't pick one

Michinaga: OBVIOUSLY HIS EDGY UPGRADE, ARE WE /JOKING/. THE HAIR. THE CLOTHES. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE HAS THE ONI BELLS ON. HOLY SHIT AM I GAY. AND I AM STEALING HIS GENDER

12. Sexuality hc!

Bisexuals, the both of them. Michinaga probably has a slight preference to men, but he is still Bi Bi Bi

16. A childhood headcanon

Neon: gosh this is difficult. But I imagine her to be the kind of child who wanted to be adventurous, but they didn't let her, for like. Obvious reasons. But also the kind where if you didn't look at her for two seconds, she was climbing on a cabinet

Michinaga: I do not think he has anyone. Like. Not at all. He had Tooru from childhood, and they basically grew up together, not having anyone else. I headcanon that they were foster kids who had trouble finding their footing anywhere else, until their boss found them, got them a job, and the rest is history.

20. A weird headcanon

Neon: can't cook. At all. You know that one discord video where the guy tries to make instant ramen and fucks up spectacularly and the entire chat loses their minds? That's Neon feat. her polycule

Michinaga: he definitely had more mutations from the Jyamato Buckle from what we had seen. Maybe there was a reason for that many layers. There is so much body horror that can be put into this bad boy

23. Future headcanon

It matches with what I want for the rest of their polycule. Happy. Alive. Together. Remembering. Healing.

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

Neon: DEZASTAR ARC. No I do not mean her being the Dezastar, that's all well and good, but even BEFORE it, the way she acted like she didn't even notice Keiwa was there? Uhm what? Sis you just saved Ace alongside him a little while ago what the fuck was that? Keiwa is your friend? Huh?

Michinaga: uhhh Takahashi can I get some uhhhh fucking payoff to the hints that he cared for Keiwa and even the "make me believe in you" bullshit he said to Ace. Now that he obviously seemed angry that Neon and Keiwa remembered, and his displeasure at Neon being dragged through the mud by Beroba, I am HOPING we get something out of it but. Please.

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

Neon: Poppy, because I think about that Ex-Aid crossover a lot and I think they would be Delightful. They could play DoReMiFa Beat together. Also maybe Izu for Artificial Girls purposes.

Michinaga: LET HIM HUNT KUROTO FOR SPORT PLEASE TAKAHASHI I BEG YOU, ZOMBIE ON ZOMBIE VIOLENCE, I NEED TO SEE IT. Also Rudi Wenders from Vamp because that would feel like headbutting a mirror. Also Olteca because they look so fucking similar, and I want to see what would happen.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren’t?)

Again, I'm looking at this in an ot4 child context, but I think they'd both somewhat struggle. Neon because she doesn't want to suffocate them the same way her mom was overbearing, but she wants them to feel loved, unlike her... but she'd figure it out. Michinaga would be terrified of having a child, but like. He'd also figure it out. And hell hath no fury than Michinaga, if his child is hurt, he would be ready to go on a WARPATH, the others would have to hold him back. (Like they are all protective, but the rest are a bit more reasonable about it. Michinaga is ready to go scorched earth.)

[todayisafridaynight]

OKOKOK EP TWO AND THREE CLEARED. Keisuke is unbeatable I Am Positive I kept fucking pausing to GIF this and that and I swear I've never had this many GIFs on the hard drive 😭😭I need to hunt him for sport [AFFECTIONATE] Pleeeease drop the Cutest Tsutsumi Characters list... I must know...

DON'T REMIND ME OF TSUTSUMI'S POSSIBLE RETIREMENT I'LL MISS HIM SO BAD 😭😭😭😭😭that aside :] he's a nice man I respect him :] To Say The Least... OH BUT he did some dialect work in Kagerou Touge [only as the transgender chicken he plays not his actual character], Bali Big Brother, Tonbi, First Penguin, and uhhhh Jo's Singular Line LMAO [not all Kansai exactly IIRC but more Kansai-adjacent than Kanto]. Kagerou and First Penguin are my faves though methinks

DEFINITELY CHECKING OUT THE MOVIE WHEN I GET THE CHANCE... very intrigued about how it does things differently and of course the Snap Seal Of Approval means a great deal to me...

Kase is SUCH a bitch in the anime and manga perhaps especially Because he did have potential as a voice of reason but he's just being a hypocrite and abusing his knowledge of the situation; he's able to justify it only because he's Not Forty-Five Which Would Be Creepy But Twenty-One Is Fine Dude Trust Me which... is pretty real NGL guys like that do exist... in the same vein, on one hand I do want him to face some sort of consequence, but on the other hand I guess it's also pretty real for him to be able to get away with it. I Guess.

If nothing else I do really appreciate that episode for the contrasts between how Kase and Kondo act on [basically] the same "date," and how Akira reacts. Like OBVIOUS what the message of the ep is given Akira's thing with the pamphlets but let me cook... 'Cause Kase is conventionally attractive, he's not [as far] out of her age range [although he's still DECIDEDLY out of it], and a lot of girls who don't know any better would be thrilled to be pursued by a "cool mature guy" like him, but Akira cannot stand any of it. But with Kondo, the complete opposite, who is totally unattainable, she feels safe and comfortable.

Even so, she re-enacts Kase's behaviors on her "date" with Kondo, because that's what she knows and kids mimic the adults in their lives whether they know it or not, and it's largely by her own self-restraint that she doesn't go in for that kiss at the end and things don't end as badly as they could... MANY thoughts... head full...

BUT YEAH. NO. YEAH. The last couple eps go SO hard and for WHATTTTT 😭😭😭😭😭Haruka and Akira got me so fucked up... Haruka winning that black cat for her coinciding with Akira starting to back off from Kondo and rekindle things with Haruka instead... the rumor WAS real... uuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhh

And CHIHIRO MY FRIEND CHIHIRO good god spending the whole fucking show thinking Kondo was just reminded of his wife or some girl-who-got-away by Akira... and then he picks up the book and It's No Help because Chihiro is a gender neutral name... AND THEN TURNS OUT IT'S HIS BOY BEST FRIEND REPRESENTING HIS YOUTH AND HIS PASSIONS AND IT'S ALL IN PARALLEL TO HARUKA AND AKIRA UUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK that is enough for now I promise I will actually send in something RGG-related at <3 Some Point <3 SORRY to anyone having to scroll past these last couple of asks lmao

THATS WHAT IM SAYING literally my number one selling point for this show at this point is Keisuke Is The Cutest Old Man In Media Ever Please Witness Him. on the subject of Cute Men though the Cute Tsutsumi Chara list is relatively small since most of his roles evidently has him p serious or. Heinous. so like. top five's like:

1.) Keisuke (Tsuma, Shogakusei ni Naru) 2.) Saenai (Super Salaryman) 3.) Nobata (Not Quite Dead Yet) 4.) Ikegami (Why Don't You Play in Hell) 5.) Tsugaru (Hero SP)

a very hard list for me to make considering i think he has plenty of cute roles (if not just cute moments) in one way or another but..... thems the ones that had me going (´◡`ʃ♡ƪ) the most..

BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAAAN NOT TO REMIND YOU YOU TOLD ME ABOUT IT FIRST (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) an important thing to remember anyhow.. maybe in the future he can direct movies that feature other cute middle-aged men (❁´◡`❁) greatly doubt any others will ever compete with The Paragon Of Middle-Aged Dudes but they can try...

you had me at Trnsgender Chicken huh. OH BUT YEAH i figured hiroshi was kansai-esque with his mannerisms/speech. bali big brother was one of the movies on my To-Watch list so i know what to look into this week now (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

OH BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAW THE MOVIE i watched it ahead of time because of that ☠️☠️ BUT i look forward to you checkin it out !! again its p different tonally in some parts, esp with the vibe to haruka and tachibana's relationship (tho of course the underlying issue of their rocky friendship still exists, its just not as evident as it was in the anime).

AH BUT YEAH i appreciate kase for what he does as a narrative device and as a character in THAT regard i really like him: serving as a cautionary reality for people like tachibana who could be taken advantage of if around the wrong people while he simultaneously acts as though he knows what's best for her (and again, he has a point in her and kondo's age difference being egregious, but he's not exactly sailing on smooth waters either). with that in mind i appreciate that aspect of him didn't overstay it's welcome (for multiple reasons of course LMAO)

NOOO BUT HARUKA AND TACHIBANA'S RELATIONSHIP MENDING BY THE END THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO especially when they showed off haruka had her lil cat bro hanging on her bag.. and it was that hot-pink color to balance out the black one tachibana had (very kuromi/melody core if you ask me).... it really was super sweet that kondo and haruka got to mend their past relationships by the end of the anime like AAA it was SOOO good the build up and execution and eveything.. and i LOVE how the anime ends with the implication kondo and tachibana will start to really work on their aspirations- i always like those endings more than the ones where we see them already succeeding (❁´◡`❁)

AND YEYEYE THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT THE BUSINESS WITH CHIHIRO WAS GONNA BE TOO !!!!! IT WAS DEFINITELY INTENTIONAL ME THINKS LIKE ugh... AtR is masterful as all hell for everything it does i truly loved it a lot...

[campbluelake]

Tomorrow | Eri | MM.5

Unfortunately, none of the answers Malyce has been supplying them with have been particularly satisfying to Eri. She’d been hoping this would cast a light on the situation in such a way Malyce would seem irrevocably redeemable or not. But instead of black and white, things are as gray as ever. And unpleasant shades of gray at that, likely all too similar to the fluorescent hues of Hell’s corporate offices.

“Tch... I thought I already said I was sick of all this business speak bullshit. You fucked up big time, dude, y’know? Trading all of us for one successful movie… No offense, but that’s the worst deal I ever heard of. You know plenty of people become successful without asking an evil salaryman from hell for help, right?”

She knows she’s preaching to the choir though, which is why she heaves a tired sigh. Despite everything he’s said, she’s still not angry at Malyce. Frustrated? Yes. Disappointed? Absolutely. But she’s not mad.

Which is why she cracks her knuckles while staring down the man of the hour. And it’s Malyce to whom she marches up to, eyes narrowed. Even as he winces during her approach, the intense look in her gaze doesn’t waver. And then finally she comes to a stop in front of him, raises her hand, and…

Bap!

Slaps Malyce across the back of his head.

Bap!

And then does it a second time.

“That first one is for making this a nightmare for Suz and Yuyu and everyone else, you absolute moron. And the second is for rollin’ over like you’re already dead. Which, newsflash! You aren’t!”

It doesn’t occur to her she’s breaking her own no-violence rule.

Instead, Eri raises her hand again like she’s about to slap him for a third time… only to instead bring it down to gently rest atop his head instead. She ruffles his hair affectionately, even as she gives him a look fiery enough to melt glass.

“Yeah, some people might have it out for you and yeah, you might deserve it— uh, again, no offense. But even if you’re a little freak, like hell you’re gonna waste all the time and energy we put into being your friend by just giving up, got it? If you’re so ready to throw away all the good times we had, I’m gonna fuck you up so bad it’ll make the haircut I gave you look like a masterpiece. Not that I thought it was that bad, but you get me, yeah?”

She removes her hand, smirking.

“And really, who gives a shit what comes after, y’know? Your evil plan got fucked over anyway when Nikonyan decided to antelope or cantaloupe or whatever it is. So save the angsty ‘I’m gonna die by your hands’ talk for after we’re all outta here, got it? I’m sure Sayacchi would prefer to hunt ya for sport in a more exciting place anyway.”

Not that she exactly condones Saya doing any such thing, but she figures it’s inevitable someone will go after Malyce. But until then…

“No more rollin’ over and acting like this is your fate. I ain’t friends with losers, got it? If you don’t like your fate, do somethin’ different. Max said himself humans always gotta choice. And you’re still human deep down, even if you’re more… green now. Though Yuyu’s green too, so maybe you guys can be green together…? Uh, anyway.”

She shakes her head, shoves both her hands into her pockets. Her Tamagotchi chirps as she does so, awakened by an accidental button press. The pixelated creature bounces up and down excitedly, as if cheering them on (at least, that’s what Eri would say if she took notice of it in that moment).

“Everyone’s asked real smart questions already, so I’ll ask ya this instead: If you live to see tomorrow, what will you do? And don’t give me any whiny shit like, ‘Wait for Vual or Max to kill me’ or whatever, yeah? I wanna know how you’ll see the world and treat others if you get to live.”

She lingers by him for a moment, not yet wanting to go back to her seat until she hears his answer. After all, she half suspects him to give a self-deprecating, bonkable answer.

And please — please — nobody remind her that it’s highly likely a broken contract spells Malyce’s own demise instead. It hasn’t occurred to her friendship and sheer willpower might not be able to void business arrangements signed in blood.

Because surely anything is possible with friends and determination!

[ilyelan]

𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑔𝑛

𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑙𝑒? 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑖𝑐 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠.

after walking for hours, you finally managed to make it to dadaupa gorge, where you know a hilichurl tribe stays. your feet hurt like hell, and you still felt some phantom pains in your leg from the arrow, but you had made it and that’s all that matters.

you walked slowly and carefully so as not to disturb any of them, but your plan was foiled when a twig, that you couldn’t see in the dark, snapped under your weight. while you looked up in shock, all the hilichurls drowsily sat up.

“olah unu!” one of them shouted at you. “um, hi! i’m not sure what that means, but can i stay with you guys for a while?”

“yo mosi mita!” said a different hilichurl this time, before handing you a bowl of soup with large chunks of meat in it. “i’ll take that as a yes. thank you.”

“ya odomu!” as soon as the hilichurl, that you had affectionately dubbed kari, got done speaking, a cryo abyss mage came out of the large wooden structure at the end of the camp. it didn’t look surprised at all when it saw you, almost as if it was expecting to.

“your grace, we have been expecting your arrival.” the mage said, while bowing. “excuse me?” it seems you just get more questions the more answers they give you.

instead of answering your questions there, it took your hand and led you into the structure it had just come out of.

after you had been told multiple legends and myths about a creator that looked exactly like you, you were to stunned to speak. “i can’t believe those humans couldn’t even recognize their own creator.” the way it said humans was admittedly a bit unsettling, but considering how it had been one of the first creatures to show you any form of kindness, you decided it was probably correct in the way it views humans in this world.

“well, it’s getting pretty late, i should probably get some sleep. is there anywhere i can lay down for the night?” you decide to not bring up the fact that you’re human as well.

“yes of course, we will always make room for you, your grace.” it then led you to a small space on the opposite side of the structure, and told you where everything else was.

you settle down on the surprisingly comfortable bed, and manage to fall into a fitful sleep.

after the most stressful day of your life, you were hoping to wake up and find out it was just some wildly terrifying dream, and then you could delete the dumb game from your computer, and never have to think about this again. but, sadly, when you opened your eyes in the morning you were still in this hellish nightmare.

you sat up and stretched out all of your sore muscles, then made your way outside to see what was going on with your hilichurl friends. what you saw when you got to the top of the stairs almost made you change your mind about this world being horrible. there were a few hilichurls sat around a table, with some mitachurls and sana hurls cooking around a large pot.

you didn’t have long to take in the comforting atmosphere before the abyss mage from last night noticed you and let everyone know that you had arrived. soon, a hilichurl came to escort you to your place at the head of the table.

after you all ate breakfast, the abyss mage came to talk to you about finding a better spot to hide out while the abyss came up with a plan to expose the true impostor that had taken over the throne. you were admittedly still pretty uncomfortable with the whole god thing, but if it kept the monster who decided to hunt a person for sport from making decisions, you would do anything.

it was soon decided that you would be moved to liyue, where a couple more mages would be waiting for you. the plan was to wait one more night while the preparations were made, and then you’d be hidden in a shipment of cargo that was headed the same direction you were going.

at nightfall, the mage brought you to a secluded lake, and told you to wash up while it found some clean clothes so you could change out of the blood covered ones you were in. when you asked where it got the clothes however, it just said they had been left behind by an adventurer.

you knew it was lying, but decided you didn’t care how you got new clothes, as long as you could stop the nauseating feeling of dried blood covering your skin. upon closer inspection, you saw that the mage had added an extra cloak with a hood, and a mask so you could conceal your identity while making the long trip.

tired from two day’s worth of fear, suspense, and barely any sleep, you sluggishly made your way back to the wooden structure with your bed, and fell asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

[movedtodykedvonte]

Sunrise: *points at Cob* I’m going to climb you like a jungle gym

Seriously this animatronic (both of them!!!) gives off major Cat Energy to me, including just??? Climbing people bigger than them????? Sometimes not even that, you look like you’re strong enough to hold them up you are getting scaled

Meanwhile Moondrop has been swatted at with a mop or a broom so many times they’ve made a game out of it for shits and giggles. That said, they don’t always dodge in time,, knock this guy into the ball pit, they deserve it for being a pain in the ass lmao

It’s all in good fun, but they give me the vibe that they just Love being annoying (affectionately) to friends, especially newcomers

I personally think only Moondrop is annoying on purpose but that annoying is more terrifying as in they are hunting you for sport. Silly mode is the last thing you see before they shove the sleepy time "candy" down ur throat.

Also so you truly think Sunrise and Moondrop know what shame is? They are so feral, that would be the least blackmailable thing they care about.

[thunderheadfred]

🤚Shigaraki HC's🤚

Part 1 of my Shigaraki Thesis HCs. The Second Worst: 1 - 2

This was rough because even though Shigaraki is one of my favorite characters of all time, I have nothing sexy to say about him canonically.

that's a lie, i'm lying. i had to break this post into parts, that's how much of a liar liar pants on fire i am

Warnings for quite possibly everything. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

Okay first of all:

You know it. I know it. We all know it. This man is not boyfriend material. He disintegrates boyfriend material for fun.

You don’t want to date this man.

Frankly, you can’t date this man.

Seriously. Run.

If you’re a villain, you’re his underling. Maybe, if you squint, you’re kind of like his... um... least-hated workplace associate. What do you want, a trophy?

If you’re a hero, good luck not dying horribly. Maybe you’d make a cute hostage. Hope you can escape cuz he is NOT letting you out alive.

If you’re a civilian, perhaps that’s the best case scenario. He stalks you a little before he becomes infamous. You go on the worst date of your life but luckily you don't tell him where you live. Later you see him on the news standing in a pile of rubble and you just think, “ohhhhhhh.”

If he somehow, impossibly, against all odds, manages to develop a single affectionate feeling toward you, AFO is going to hunt you down for sport. You are NOT getting in the way of world domination. Again, good luck with that.

If somehow you managed to clear all those hurdles and kiss Shigaraki Tomura square on the lips, I can see one of two things happening.

1) You’re his body pillow now. Goodbye sunlight. You live in his room. He doesn’t have to chain you to the bed, because you know escape is pointless. Congratulations, the end is nigh.

2) Total mind break. At the first sign of genuine human affection, his trauma vault is instantly unlocked. Memories come rushing in, his quirk goes nuts. There’s like a 99.9% chance he’ll accidentally kill you and it will destroy his soul forever. But let’s say you’re the lucky 0.01% - then it’s time to fuck off together to a foreign country. He’s terrified, traumatized, and possibly broken beyond repair, but I guess he’s not a villain anymore? Have fun nursing him back to... semi-sanity.

Moral of the story: you’re better off getting hit with a quirk that takes you to an alternate universe where the worst thing Shimura Tenko ever did was throw a Playstation controller at his sister’s head. He’s an aspiring video game journalist with zero charisma and severe self-image issues. He has no earthly idea how hot he is. Please, for the love of God, fall for that guy instead.

haha just kidding

join me in hell, fellow Shigaraki fuckers:

- - - - -

Scenario the first:

so apparently you enjoy living in a cage?

Listen. He does not smell right. He doesn’t need to bathe much because his skin is constantly annihilating itself. So he’s not exactly dirty, but every instinct in your body is screaming in confusion, unsure if he’s alive or dead.

Breath of the damned. Sweet as moldy lemons. Whatever he eats just... rots. He doesn't produce enough spit.

He will kiss you very deeply. Until you choke. Forget the cold, chapped lips because they're the least of your problems. He's got those skeleton hands caging your face and you're trapped against a wall and his gigantic biting teeth are prying you open. He licks inside your mouth like he's trying to steal your soul. He'll probably succeed.

His hair is exactly as soft as it looks. Too bad you'll never get to touch it.

He’s either got no sexual impulses at all and will laugh at you for trying, or he’s a full-on incel. I don’t know which one. I don’t want to find out. Apparently you do, and I salute your resolve.

You will be lucky if Shigaraki treats you like a pet. He loves his Nintendo DS more than you.

Consent is not applicable. You showed interest in him once, now you're his plaything forever. There's a power imbalance between you so wide you could chuck a planet in there.

Safewords? lol

Doesn't want to break you, because what would be the point? He's already broken enough things. He wants to keep you around for a good long while. He'll take good, good care of you.

Unless you disobey.

Obsessed with making you cum whether you want to or not. Yes, this IS a high score thing. It's just so flattering. Say hello, orgasm torture. Was that another one? Aww. You barely moved. Oh, what's that? You're begging him to stop? Haha. He won't.

Don't cry. He'll drink your tears.

He'll touch you everywhere with bare fingers. Slow, feather-light strokes, like some kind of demented ASMR artist. This is not a trust exercise. He knows exactly how much it terrifies you.

Oh yeah. You're getting finger FUCKED. Do you fantasize about having a loaded gun shoved inside you? Same difference.

Will eat you out like nothing else, but not in bed. That's the kind of shit he does on a boardroom table where anybody could walk in and see you writhing. Spreads you WIDE open and sucks on you. Makes out with your asshole. The whole nine yards. It's wet and loud and nasty.

Only time you're out of his sight (and not locked in your room) is when he shoves a remote control vibrator where the sun doesn't shine. Operates it through an app while he calls you and jerks off. Wants to make your knees fail on a crowded train.

Come here. You get to sit on his lap like a dog. Four fingers on your throat, dick hard under your ass. He'll dry hump you in front of God, the Devil, and everyone else.

If he's playing video games, you're cock-warming. He does not care which hole. He won't even look at you.

He might get hard but he does not get naked. You do not know Shigaraki Tomura on a personal level. You have only the vaguest idea what his dick looks like. It feels long and thin, almost sharp. Maybe he's actually been fucking you with an ice pick this whole time. His hip bones dig into you and bruise. He likes to kiss and bite the marks he leaves.

He mocks you for being so fucking pathetic. Have you always been a such a needy slut or is he really that special? What is wrong with you? Even he thinks you're crazy.

Shigaraki won't kill you, but All For One will.

- - - - -

The Second Worst Scenario:

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck.

(this half of the post went completely off the rails and turned into like... a whole-ass Victorian Novel)

[devilish-miasma]

Can I get uhhhhhh male s/o with dmc ladies who wants kid? Put nsfw if needed. Ty :>

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I woke up to this and I appreciate it. With that being said, I kept this relatively SFW. I hope that is okay. I also apologize for being unable to write the DMC women as well as I can the Sparda men.

Toxic

Contents: Male!reader, pregnancy.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Trish

“Do you ever think about having children?” Trish suddenly asks you one day.

Well, that was unexpected. But you would be lying if you said no.

“I may have thought about it before. Once or twice,” you say. “Is this something you want?”

“Yeah,” she sits on your lap, “I do.”

You expected it to take a while, being a human and demon couple. Trish ponders it as well, wondering if Mundus created her with the ability to conceive. Surprisingly, it doesn’t take a while for Trish’s demonic nature to confirm that she’s pregnant.

Hybrids were challenging, and you both knew that. They were few in number, a rarity and considered an abomination in the Underworld. Pureblooded demons typically hunted them down for sport, for the glory of purging a “filthy bloodline.” Luckily, the crew was full of badasses so it wouldn’t be challenging to protect your child if the need arose.

Trish becomes very protective of you during her pregnancy, and the unborn baby. She wants you with her and becomes agitated and nervous when you’re gone. It's just demonic instincts, you tell yourself. Demons are very capable of love, that was painfully obvious. Demons lose their mates from battle and infighting constantly, and she didn’t want that to happen to you, her mate. You understood, and knew that feeling must be stronger due to being human.

So you make sure to be with her as much as possible, retrieving anything she needs. Her inner demon purrs with satisfaction.

Your son is born screaming his lungs out, a physical manifestation of love ignorant demons and humans refuse to believe. He’s born in Devil Trigger, which was expected, but he’s beautiful, displaying the color of mint. He reminds you of the spring.

Out of Trigger, he looks a lot like you, but has more of Trish’s facial features. And, of course, he’s born strong, just like his mother.

Nico

Nico would be the type to subtly drop hints. “Don’t you think I’d be a good momma?” “My kids would be so badass, just like me!” “Our kids would be just as beautiful or handsome as their parents, and equally badass.”

It actually goes over your head at first. You hadn’t been the type to think about starting a family anyway. The Devil May Cry crew was family enough, and you were content with that.

It was actually Nero who made you realize what Nico was hinting at.

“You and Nico planning on having kids?”

“No? Why would you think that?”

“She’s been subtly dropping hints about wanting kids for weeks now. It's kinda annoying.”

White guy blinking meme. Oh. Oh.

When you two are alone you ask her about it. Your relationship with Nico is rather lighthearted, friendly teasing but still affectionate. This is the most serious you’ve seen her. You know Nico would be a good mother, your main concern is yourself. Children have never been your favorite thing in the world, and children crying typically aggravated you. But with her, you’re determined to make it work.

It actually takes a while for it to happen. There was small discouragement at first, but you two are pretty stubborn people, so you’re determined to make it work.

When it finally happens, Nico sprints to you with the biggest grin on her face. She leaps into your arms, laughing, and your heart comes to a skidding halt. It finally happened.

Nero claps you on the back and congratulates you two, and the rest of the crew is pretty happy for you too.

You make sure to call her whenever you’re out, asking if she’s okay. Nico’s a strong woman, you knew that, but still. You also make sure that Nero watches out for her. It calms your anxiety.

You guys end up having a daughter. Her hair, your eyes. Seeing her hold your child was an emotional experience, and you cried when you held your daughter. Nico teases you about it, but she’s happy. You’re both very happy.

Lady

It sparked from a simple walk through the park one day. It was a simple distraction from work, but seeing couples and their kids basking in happiness sparked mutual desire.

You attempted to stay silent about it, unsure of how Lady felt about it. She’s the one who sits you down and talks about it.

You want to kiss her, touch her, hold her, but you’re unsure of what to do. You fumble over your words, red coloring your face as your hands shake. You hear Lady’s chair scrape against the floor and her lips press against yours, and a thought became reality.

Lady becomes emotional even before the pregnancy, which worries you a little. Out of this list, Lady becoming pregnant takes the longest, and she starts to worry if it's her. You have to reassure her, and tell her that all good things come to those who wait. You know it's hard waiting, but you continue to be patient for the both of you.

Secretly, you wonder if it has something to do with you. You never let her know your fears, staying strong for both of you no matter how frustrating.

You hold her hand in the bathroom, talking as you wait for the test to reveal its answer. There’s an anxious knot in both of you as you wait, but you talk with Lady to help calm her. But you can feel her shaking, and she could probably feel you shaking.

When the test comes back positive, it's a happy, exciting moment. You both cry, hold each other, laugh, kiss. Congratulations: you’re going to be parents.

The whole crew implodes in celebration. Everyone was anxious for both of you, and when it finally happens, everyone is celebrating and congratulating both of you. It made you two happy knowing your friends, people who became family were happy for you.

You get her whatever she needs, at whatever time. If it was nine or noon or three in the morning, you’ll get it. Anything for your queen.

You meet your son nine months later, mewling and crying like a kitten. He’s adorable, the perfect combination of his parents. It's a proud moment indeed.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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