#again there are some changes that made me like. Hm. BUT nothing i hated
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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OKOKOK EP TWO AND THREE CLEARED. Keisuke is unbeatable I Am Positive I kept fucking pausing to GIF this and that and I swear I've never had this many GIFs on the hard drive 😭😭I need to hunt him for sport [AFFECTIONATE] Pleeeease drop the Cutest Tsutsumi Characters list... I must know...
DON'T REMIND ME OF TSUTSUMI'S POSSIBLE RETIREMENT I'LL MISS HIM SO BAD 😭😭😭😭😭that aside :] he's a nice man I respect him :] To Say The Least... OH BUT he did some dialect work in Kagerou Touge [only as the transgender chicken he plays not his actual character], Bali Big Brother, Tonbi, First Penguin, and uhhhh Jo's Singular Line LMAO [not all Kansai exactly IIRC but more Kansai-adjacent than Kanto]. Kagerou and First Penguin are my faves though methinks
DEFINITELY CHECKING OUT THE MOVIE WHEN I GET THE CHANCE... very intrigued about how it does things differently and of course the Snap Seal Of Approval means a great deal to me...
Kase is SUCH a bitch in the anime and manga perhaps especially Because he did have potential as a voice of reason but he's just being a hypocrite and abusing his knowledge of the situation; he's able to justify it only because he's Not Forty-Five Which Would Be Creepy But Twenty-One Is Fine Dude Trust Me which... is pretty real NGL guys like that do exist... in the same vein, on one hand I do want him to face some sort of consequence, but on the other hand I guess it's also pretty real for him to be able to get away with it. I Guess.
If nothing else I do really appreciate that episode for the contrasts between how Kase and Kondo act on [basically] the same "date," and how Akira reacts. Like OBVIOUS what the message of the ep is given Akira's thing with the pamphlets but let me cook... 'Cause Kase is conventionally attractive, he's not [as far] out of her age range [although he's still DECIDEDLY out of it], and a lot of girls who don't know any better would be thrilled to be pursued by a "cool mature guy" like him, but Akira cannot stand any of it. But with Kondo, the complete opposite, who is totally unattainable, she feels safe and comfortable.
Even so, she re-enacts Kase's behaviors on her "date" with Kondo, because that's what she knows and kids mimic the adults in their lives whether they know it or not, and it's largely by her own self-restraint that she doesn't go in for that kiss at the end and things don't end as badly as they could... MANY thoughts... head full...
BUT YEAH. NO. YEAH. The last couple eps go SO hard and for WHATTTTT 😭😭😭😭😭Haruka and Akira got me so fucked up... Haruka winning that black cat for her coinciding with Akira starting to back off from Kondo and rekindle things with Haruka instead... the rumor WAS real... uuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhh
And CHIHIRO MY FRIEND CHIHIRO good god spending the whole fucking show thinking Kondo was just reminded of his wife or some girl-who-got-away by Akira... and then he picks up the book and It's No Help because Chihiro is a gender neutral name... AND THEN TURNS OUT IT'S HIS BOY BEST FRIEND REPRESENTING HIS YOUTH AND HIS PASSIONS AND IT'S ALL IN PARALLEL TO HARUKA AND AKIRA UUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OK that is enough for now I promise I will actually send in something RGG-related at <3 Some Point <3 SORRY to anyone having to scroll past these last couple of asks lmao
THATS WHAT IM SAYING literally my number one selling point for this show at this point is Keisuke Is The Cutest Old Man In Media Ever Please Witness Him. on the subject of Cute Men though the Cute Tsutsumi Chara list is relatively small since most of his roles evidently has him p serious or. Heinous. so like. top five's like:
1.) Keisuke (Tsuma, Shogakusei ni Naru) 2.) Saenai (Super Salaryman) 3.) Nobata (Not Quite Dead Yet) 4.) Ikegami (Why Don't You Play in Hell) 5.) Tsugaru (Hero SP)
a very hard list for me to make considering i think he has plenty of cute roles (if not just cute moments) in one way or another but..... thems the ones that had me going (´◡`ʃ♡ƪ) the most..
BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAAAN NOT TO REMIND YOU YOU TOLD ME ABOUT IT FIRST (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) an important thing to remember anyhow.. maybe in the future he can direct movies that feature other cute middle-aged men (❁´◡`❁) greatly doubt any others will ever compete with The Paragon Of Middle-Aged Dudes but they can try...
you had me at Trnsgender Chicken huh. OH BUT YEAH i figured hiroshi was kansai-esque with his mannerisms/speech. bali big brother was one of the movies on my To-Watch list so i know what to look into this week now (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
OH BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAW THE MOVIE i watched it ahead of time because of that ☠️☠️ BUT i look forward to you checkin it out !! again its p different tonally in some parts, esp with the vibe to haruka and tachibana's relationship (tho of course the underlying issue of their rocky friendship still exists, its just not as evident as it was in the anime).
AH BUT YEAH i appreciate kase for what he does as a narrative device and as a character in THAT regard i really like him: serving as a cautionary reality for people like tachibana who could be taken advantage of if around the wrong people while he simultaneously acts as though he knows what's best for her (and again, he has a point in her and kondo's age difference being egregious, but he's not exactly sailing on smooth waters either). with that in mind i appreciate that aspect of him didn't overstay it's welcome (for multiple reasons of course LMAO)
NOOO BUT HARUKA AND TACHIBANA'S RELATIONSHIP MENDING BY THE END THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING TOO especially when they showed off haruka had her lil cat bro hanging on her bag.. and it was that hot-pink color to balance out the black one tachibana had (very kuromi/melody core if you ask me).... it really was super sweet that kondo and haruka got to mend their past relationships by the end of the anime like AAA it was SOOO good the build up and execution and eveything.. and i LOVE how the anime ends with the implication kondo and tachibana will start to really work on their aspirations- i always like those endings more than the ones where we see them already succeeding (❁´◡`❁)
AND YEYEYE THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT THE BUSINESS WITH CHIHIRO WAS GONNA BE TOO !!!!! IT WAS DEFINITELY INTENTIONAL ME THINKS LIKE ugh... AtR is masterful as all hell for everything it does i truly loved it a lot...
#long post#snap chats#my seal of approval is worth something... and what if i said Teehee LMAOO#BUT i do hope you enjoy it (❁´◡`❁) it might not have tsutsumi in it but yo oizumi certainly does a great job as kondo me thinks#with it being live action and Just A Sprinkle more serious than the anime tachibana isn't as comedically explosive anymore#but she can still be curt. i was a lil upset that yoshizawa and nishida didnt keep their cute relationship#but again i get it.. we only have so much time and we dont wanna bounce around with the focus#again there are some changes that made me like. Hm. BUT nothing i hated#LIKE HOW THEY CUT OUT TSUBU LIKE NOOOOOO MY LIL MAN..... but ill live i suppose....#and again there were changes i DID enjoy- like for one thing i like how tachibana's mom is actually here LMAO#but ill save all that for when you finish the movie 🤭 i hope you enjoy ! and i hope you enjoy the rest of tsuma ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶#moving on... ye neednt tell me how you respect mr tsutsumi... i am aware no worries friend..#with that in mind it is hard makin my Cute Tsutsumi Charas list...#'snap you put ikegami on the list' i did. because he was cute and silly and just a lil quirky#i was gonna put hiro on the list but then i remember how most of the time i wanted to hit him with a trout#he's still cute to me tho but tsugaru's just a flavor of awkward that i really thinkg is endearing#hiro's cute in that he's a stubborn old man who's still earnest. also he loves his wife and Wife Guys always get points#but alas... his wife isn't around anymore so we don't get to see that much.. have to deduct some of those points...#i also thought toru (pure) was cute but he's more Brooding cute and his cutest moments are with yuka#and i wanted to keep the list limited to Cute Mostly On Their Own#BUT ANYWAY. ENOUGH OF THAT BEFORE I GO ON TOO MUCH.#i couldnt find any of the other kansai-infused media.. i tried looking for tonbi but i wasnt sure which one he was in#and when i checked the cast list of either of them i didnt find him credited.. i COULD just check his imdb but. laziness is an illness yk..#potentially lying on the bali plans too... KA only has the raw footage but i COULD try to 47 Ronin In Debt my way through it...
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buckyalpine · 1 year ago
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Sharon calls you fat (pregnant reader)
I live for the angst where Sharon/people call reader fat and make fun of her not knowing she's pregnant and Bucky protects the ever living fuck out of her because that's his gorgeous babymama. Bonus when Sharon is a jealous hoe. Throw in some protective avengers in there too. Breeding kink? Pregnancy kink? Also yes. He's a feral, horny little shit here, I apologize.
You huffed as you buttoned your jeans, the waistband sitting snugly around your waist, pressing into your skin a little bit more than usual. You dug through the closet to find one of Bucky's hoodies to slip on, loving the way the soft material engulphed you in his scent.
You weren't showing much yet but your body was certainly changing. Your sense of smell was heightened, constantly craving to be surrounded by your boyfriends smell. Your breasts were growing heavier and your clothes were more fitting than before. Cravings had already started. Your cheeks were a tad fuller and you were certainly glowing.
Bucky's super soldier serum was no joke.
You made your way down to make something for breakfast, grabbing a bag of peppermint tea to help with some of the nausea you had been experiencing. Sharon sauntered into the kitchen, still clad in her tiny workout clothes as she went to the fridge to grab a water bottle.
"Hey Sharon" You smiled as you poured water into your mug while munching on a cookie, grabbing another when your tummy rumbled. Baby Barnes clearly took after daddy, craving anything and everything sweet. And salty. And sweet and salty.
"Hey y/n" Sharon's eyes looked at you up and down, cocking her head slightly while you snacked, rummaging around for something else to eat. "Might wanna cut down a little there, huh" She teased, nodding to the potato chip you popped into your mouth.
"What?" You weren't sure you heard correctly, setting down the bag while she pursed her lips.
"Oh, nothing. I don't know how you eat that stuff, it's so greasy"
"Hm, yeah I guess" You gave her a weak smile, her words causing the insecurities you were already feeling about your body to creep back up again. You had a heavy feeling in your chest, seeing her flit about the kitchen, still perfectly toned. You shook those thoughts away, remembering the reason beautiful your body was different but it didn't do much.
The words still stung.
You decided to make your way back to your room to wait for Bucky to return from his morning jog with Steve, passing by one of the new trainees as you left the kitchen. Their hushed whispers caused you to stop in your tracks, your stomach dropping when you heard what they were saying.
"She's getting fat" Sharon snorted, hardly noticing you weren't out of ear shot while the trainee giggled along with her, nodding in agreement.
"Oh my God, you should've seen her at the gym yesterday. She was breathing so hard while running on the treadmill, I thought she was going to pass out. I don't even think she lasted 5 minutes before calling it quits" The trainee replied while Sharon rolled her eyes.
"She's gonna looked like a beached whale if she keeps eating like that, I swear she finished the entire row single handedly"
"I don't get what Bucky is doing with her. Honestly, I'm not even complaining. If she gets any fatter he's gonna leave her so maybe that'll make it easier for me" Sharon cackled along with the girl, the both of them snickering while swooning over the soldier. "He's so hot. I don't get what the hell he's doing with her, he can do so much better. Just wait till I show him, he'll see what he's missed out on"
You hardly realized you'd broken down into tears, slapping a hand over your mouth to keep from sobbing. You ran to your shared bedroom as fast as you could before anyone else saw you, closing the door and instructing FRIDAY to keep everyone out. You threw your jeans off, hating the way they were tighter on you, curling up under the covers, muffling your cries into the pillow.
-
Bucky ran his fingers through his short locks, making his way to the kitchen to grab some water after his run, smiling to himself knowing how much you loved to slink around him whenever he worked out. He loved how needy and cuddly you were, always burying your face into his neck of chest, trying to crawl up him like a tree.
"Where are you babygirl" Bucky called for you, expecting to see you in the perched in the kitchen with your pepper mint tea you'd recently been relying on, only to find a full mug without you in sight. Sharon and the new agent were still there, both of them eyeing him up and down, hoping to get his attention.
"Hey Sarge-
"Have you seen y/n" Bucky cut Sharon off, still looking around for you. Sharon rolled her eyes again, stating she hadn't seen you at all, since she'd spend her own morning working out. Bucky frowned, picking up the still hot tea, taking it up as he made his way to the bedroom.
"Sweeheart?" Bucky called for you softly, his heart racing when he hard soft sniffles from the other side of the door, his anxiety spiking when the door was locked. "Baby, are you okay? Can you open the door please?"
You hiccupped, trying to calm yourself down hearing Bucky's worried voice, quickly wiping your face before getting out of bed to open the door for him. His heart broke seeing his sweet girl with red rimmed eyes and puffy cheeks from crying, pulling you into him while shutting the door behind him.
"What's wrong mama" Bucky cooed, hugging you tightly while you whimpered in his hold, your insecurities at an all time high as he slipped his hand under your hoodie to stroke the bare skin of your back.
"Am I fat?" You whispered, worried the question would make realize you were less attractive, a fresh wave of tears streaming down your face.
"What?" Bucky pulled away, shock evident on his face while you stared at your feet, swallowing nervously.
"Please don't make me say it"
"Sweetheart, look at me" He held your face firmly in his hands making you look a him, "Why would you ask such a thing"
"I-I heard some people talking in the kitchen. Said I'm fat" If it wasn't for Bucky's enhanced hearing, he would've missed your fallen voice as you hide your face in his chest again.
"Absolutely not baby, who said that to you" Bucky held back on the red hot anger that surged through him, needing to comfort you first before raining hell on whoever hurt you.
"But I am Bucky!" You cried in frustration, pulling away from his hold. "It looks awful and I'm just going to keep getting bigger, I- I get if you don't find me as attractive-
"Hey, hey, stop, baby look at me" Bucky stopped your rambling, pulling you back into him, his hands holding your face firmly, "Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are to me? Hm? Do you have any idea how insanely attracted I've been to you ever since you told me you're pregnant?"
You shook your head, your heart jolting when he pushed himself against you, letting you feel the hardness between his legs, poorly contained in his joggers.
"Bucky-
"C'mere" Bucky threw your hoodie off before stripping his own clothes aside, his hard cock angry and leaking, desperate to fill you. "M'gonna show you baby"
He didn't give you a second to protest, carrying you over to bed and laying you down, spreading your legs apart, flicking his cock against your clit before tracing it down to your entrance and shoving himself home.
"Bucky!" you moaned, your legs moving on their own to wrap around his waist as he started to move, throbbing the entire time.
"You're so fuckin' beautiful mama, if you weren't pregnant already, we'd be in here all day till you were" Bucky groaned, grabbing and caressing your soft skin, already leaking into you. "You're gonna look so sexy when your belly gets all round, when these breasts get all big, they're gonna leak so much carrying my baby"
He moved to tug your swollen nipples between his pink lips, groaning at the thought of how sweet your milk would taste. Your back arched off the bed from how sensitive they were, your cunt fluttering around his cock, sucking him in deeper.
"I already know you're gonna get so swollen mama, its my baby in your belly. Did you forget its my cum that got you pregnant? Did you forget there's all that serum in my cock baby? I got you fuckin' pregnant, I'm you're babydaddy, I can't wait to see you get all tired, pouty and big with my super soldier baby"
"Oh fuck Bucky" you wailed, his words making your heart swell while your pussy nearly squirted as he hit that spongy spot deep in you, "P-please don't-don't stop"
"I won't stop baby, couldn't even if I wanted to, y'feel too good. Fuck, just knowing you're pregnant makes me so hard, can't believe I knocked suck a pretty little thing up, so lucky I got to stuff you nice and full"
Bucky started to fuck you harder till he headboard added new dents to the wall since the extra strength walls Tony added had nothing on Bucky's stamina and strength.
"Can't wait till everyone sees how pretty you're gonna look, m'gonna show you off, make sure everyone knows you're my girl, the love of my life, that you're carrying a piece of me in you"
"But- but what if they think-I won't look-" You're insecurities tried to sneak back in but Bucky wasn't having any of it, shutting ha down immediately.
"I'll fuck you in front of them. You think I give a fuck? I'll bend this pretty ass over, hold that perfectly round belly and stuff my cock in you till it leaks and makes a mess on the floor. I'll show them exactly what I did to get you that big in the first place, let them see how swollen my cock gets for you, goddamn, I'm gonna cum!"
Bucky fucked you hard and fast, letting you feel him in your stomach, not holding back one bit, his hand flying to grip onto the headboard.
"Bucky-Bucky gonna-I'm gonna-!OH GOD" You let out a silent scream, cumming around him without warning, your pregnancy making you extra sensitive, being able to orgasm without him even touching you.
"This sweet, soft fuckin' body" Bucky's pace faltered, sinking his teeth into your shoulder, "So good to me, so fuckin' good!, gonna cum mama, gonna give you more of my cream, gonna full that pussy up n'keep you pregnant forever, take it gorgeous, fuckin' beautiful, no one makes me hard like this, m'gonna cum so hard-fuck-fuck-FUCCCKKK M'CUMMING" Bucky roared against your neck, his cock bursting with ropes of cum, emptying his balls dry with sloppy thrusts until the sheets were soaked. You both panted, sweat covering your bodies, the sweet, primal smell of sex filling the room making your practically purr.
"You're the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me. I love you no matter what. You're stunning to me at any size, pregnant or not, don't you ever forget it" Bucky held you firmly, brushing his hands over your belly, pressing a kiss to your temple. You nodded, already feeling better, nervousness replacing your previous anxiety because you knew Bucky wouldn't let the incident slide.
"Who made you feel this way baby" His voice was gentle but he wasn't leaving any room for negotiation.
"Just leave it Bucky" You shrugged, not wanting to make it a big deal but he shook his head.
"Can't do that sugar. No one makes my doll upset. You get some rest alright? let me make you lunch and we'll take a nap after"
You nodded, letting him slip his henley over your head, grabbing some comfy sweats for you to wear and throwing on his own clothes before heading down. You froze as you neared the kitchen seeing everyone else downstairs gathered for lunch which was a rare sight but there had been less mission recently meaning everyone was home. Bucky gave your hand a comforting squeeze, a stark contrast the to protective anger he felt again.
"Who the fuck spoke about y/n" Bucky stormed down, silence filling the room immediatly, everyone staring at each other in confusion while Sharon's face filled with guilt. "Well?!"
"What happened Buck, Steve and I were training this morning" Sam said honestly, while the others nodded in agreement, still looking at each other wondering what was going on. "You okay, sweetheart?"
"Well someone said something because she was upset in our bedroom and it happened today" Bucky had a good feeling about who caused your distress, knowing no one else would ever do such a thing but he wasn't about to call out Sharon ha easily, seeing her already squirming in discomfort.
"There's an easy solution to all this, give me a second" Tony typed something into his phone before calling for Friday, "FRIDAY can you play back the audio from this morning from when y/n was in here"
"Certainly, Mr. Stark"
The audio started with you greeting Sharon, followed by her comment and then the conversation she had with the new trainee. Shock and gasps filled the room, everyone glaring at the blonde with disgust while she shook her head, her stomach churning.
"I-I didn't say anything! That wasn't even me!"
"Really? Then who the fuck was it" Bucky spat, ready to jump her across the table, his fists balled at his side. Sharon huffed, biting her lip while Bucky continued to glare at her, still holding your hand softly in his. His anger only flared more, thinking about how she thought she could replace you.
"Fine! I said it! But was I wrong? She is bigger than before" Sharon weakly defended herself, trembling when Bucky flinched, his self restraint growing thinner. Your eyes grew steamy, squeaking when Bucky moved to wrap his arm around your tummy, slipping it under your shirt.
"Cause she's pregnant. With my baby. I'm her babydaddy. I got her pregnant. You wanna know how? I fucked her. So hard. I didn't just fuck her, I made love to her cause she's my girl. Do you have any idea how attracted I am to her? How much cum there was? I didn't pull out once. She's so tight around my cock, its hard not to fill her up. Just kept going until my dick started to hurt and even then, I didn't wanna pull out"
Sam smirked at Bucky's utterly unhinged, x-rated rambling while Steve buried his red face in his hands. Tony cackled from the side while Nat patiently waited to get a chance to lay her hands on Sharon on Bucky's behalf.
"I-I get it, enough-
"You're delusional if you think I'd ever leave her for you. This is the love of my life. She's giving me a baby. She's beautiful. I chose this woman because she's special, she's this one I want to have a family with. You know what, you better get used to it cause I'm gonna get her pregnant again and again and it won't be hard considering how badly I constantly want her. In fact, we fucked just now, tell your little friend that"
"Oh my god" Sharon huffed, harshly wiping her tear streaked face, ready to throw up from embarrassment. She choked a sob, running out without looking back, Bucky's words tearing her apart. Everyone ignored her presence, immediately piling onto you with hugs, kisses and congratulations instead.
"Congratulations, babydaddy" Sam grinned, playfully nudging Bucky's shoulder making him blush, his arms still wrapped around your tummy. "And to you, little mama"
"I call god father" Steve announced, kissing your cheek before pulling Bucky into a tight hug, happy for his best friend and you.
Nat cracked a few knuckles, giving you a quick peck on the head, promising to celebrate later before following Sharon out, ready to hand her ass to her. The little trainee would be next.
"So what you're both saying is there's gonna be another super soldier running around here?" Tony's eyes lit up with excitement and a dash of fear when he remembered the baby would also be surrounded by idiots like Sam and Steve. He'd have to reinforce everything.
Immediately.
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dirtylittlesecre7 · 24 days ago
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Hiii I was wondering if we could get a dom!cho hyun-ju x f! Reader where weve bee feeling kind of insecure so she helps prove that theres nothing to be insecure about? Do u think u could add some praise, hand holding n whatever else u would like to add? Pls n thank u!!
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! nsfw content !
dom gf!hyun-ju x f!reader
(these are happening in a way that the squid game does not exist)
word count | 1,5k
warning | smut, oral(reader receiving), yeah that's all
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"aren't you ready yet?" the voice coming from outside the door made you swallow hard, you looked at yourself in the mirror again. you had made an agreement with your girlfriend to go out but you didn't want to go out now. you wanted to wear the dress hyun-ju bought for you on today's date but something seemed missing, you weren't feeling well, even looking in the mirror started to hurt so you turned your head away "I..I'll be ready in a minute."
hyun-ju looked at the clock and let out a breath when she realized that your reservation time was almost past. of course she would always wait for you but it had taken longer than necessary. after a while you heard another knock on the door "is everything okay..? if you need anything please tell me, should I come in?" her worried tone made you feel bad too, you didn't want to ruin anything on a day like this. hyun-ju was about to leave when she didn't hear anything from you but the sound of the door opening made her stop.
she looked at you, then her gaze roamed over your body, you looked so... perfect. she smiled slightly as she realized that you were embarrassed by her gaze and locked eyes with yours again. hyun-ju took a step closer and held your hands. "you're so beautiful, but why is your face so sulky, hm? tell me, darling." one of her hands went to your chin and made you look at her. you could barely put your thoughts into words but finally managed to speak. "I..I don't feel very good in this dress..don't get me wrong- you bought it for me and it's absolutely beautiful but..I think I diminished it's beauty by wearing it."
a sigh filled the air, hyun-ju entered the room and then closed the door and placed both hands on your cheek, her thumbs drawing small circles as you began to relax under her touch. "I don't want you to say things like that. please. I know it's hard to change your mind no matter what I say and I hate it but..I wish you could see how you look through my eyes." her hands went down to your waist and with small steps she led you to where the mirror was, now with your back turned to her you were looking at yourself in the mirror again. hyun-ju tilted her head slightly to the side and placed a small kiss on your neck "every part of you is so beautiful, so precious." another kiss, her voice was lower this time "I am so lucky to have you, such a delicate beauty that would make angels jealous..it's completely unfair for you to feel so insecure when everyone around you is talking about your beauty, my little baby."
you turned your head to her, every word she said caused your eyes to fill with tears, hyun-ju's face filled with worry as she felt a pain in her heart the moment she realized this "who talked about me?" she knew you were upset right now but when she heard your soft voice and saw the way your bottom lip pouted, she couldn't help but giggle at your sweetness, and kissed your lips, wiping your bottom lip with her thumb as the lipstick you had just applied smeared with her "last week when we met the others, you got up to go to the bathroom and as soon as you left, se-mi made a comment about how your skirt looked good on you. well..I can't say she was wrong of course but I have to admit I was jealous. you attract attention everywhere we go and it makes me happier to have you."
you tried to process what she said, hyun-ju gave you a moment to give yourself time but her gaze fell on the strap of your dress that had fallen off your shoulder. you flinched slightly when you felt her fingers on your shoulder while you were lost in thought, raised your head to her but she wasn't looking at you, her eyes traveled from your shoulder to your neck "y/n.." you answered while the way she said your name made your body shiver "yes?" the moment hyun-ju heard your weak voice, it was all over for her, neither the restaurant nor anything else on her mind. she lowered the strap of your dress again and kissed your shoulder. whispered "we're late enough for the reservation..."
she made you lie down on the bed and was soon on top of you. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean for it to happen-" your sentence was cut off when hyun-ju's hand slid under your dress and caressed your thigh. "shh..there's nothing to apologize for." looked into your eyes with desire. "let me prove how beautiful my girlfriend is, with or without a dress." she delicately removed the single piece of fabric you were wearing, she was eager to touch you but she liked to savor this moment more slowly. soon you were left with only your panties, her fingers finding your clit through the fabric as she kissed your lips hungrily, sucking on your bottom lip and you let out a whimper when your tongues met.
her kisses slowly moved down, first to your neck, then to your breasts, lingering for a while before coming to your stomach. you giggled slightly as the tiny kisses tickled you. hyun-ju smiled when she heard your laugh and lifted her head. "that's it. I always want to see you laugh." continued, the wet kisses she left in between were making your mind blurry. you admired how she could take away all your worries, even a single kiss could make you forget all the bad things.
as she went down further, she kissed your clit through the fabric, hand stopped you as you were about to close your legs, she raised her head and looked at you "I want you to keep your legs open, okay little one?" you just nodded in approval, you didn't want to wait any longer and she knew it very well. took off your panties without waiting too long and got between your legs, her hand found your hand and intertwined your fingers "hyun-ju.." you said her name needily. without making you wait any longer, her tongue met your pussy, she sucked your clit for a while, and then she went down a little further, stuck her tongue in your hole. you squeezed the hand you held with a loud moan, hyun-ju continued to destroy you with her tongue while she started caressing your hand with her thumb.
her movements were slow and seductive but when you didn't expect it, she sped up, she grabbed your leg with her free hand and spread it wider, making it easier for her to eat you out. all you could do at that moment was moan her name. even though she had done this often, holding hands made you feel strangely embarrassed. hyun-ju always made gestures like this during sex and she always managed to embarrass you. in fact, at that moment you realized how unimportant the thoughts of the people around you were, when you had a girlfriend like this and were loved like this, you didn't want to care about others anymore. there was only her and you.
hyun-ju's movements didn't stop, her tongue was moving rapidly inside your pussy while her hand holding your leg slowly moved from your belly to your breasts, when she started playing with your hardened nipple with gentle movements, you let out another loud moan, she knew very well which parts of your body were sensitive. after a while the pleasure you were getting from both sides started to be too much, you moved your hips and your stomach tightened, you knew you were close to cumming "hyun-ju..I..I'm..c-close.." you could barely speak between your moans, just threw your head back in pleasure. hyun-ju moaned as your hips moved around her face and after a while you couldn't hold yourself back any longer and came in her mouth.
she pulled back, looking at the juices flowing from your pussy before looking at you who was exhausted. she grinned slightly, oh she loved eating you out so much, she could do this all day long but she had other things to worry about right now. her lips were glistening from your juices, licked her own lips and leaned in closer, kissing your cheek. “I love you so much.” buried her head in your neck. “please don’t hesitate to talk to me at times like this, I don’t like you being by yourself, I’m always here. always.” her arms wrapped tightly around your waist and she laid down on the bed, pulling you to her. “we’re late for dinner..” you purred, she chuckled and pulled back slightly to look at your face. “I got more than what i wanted, but I can still make you something if you’re hungry?” saw you avert your eyes shyly and kissed your forehead with a smile. “you rest here, I’ll go and make sure you get fed well.” she put the covers over you and looked at you one last time before leaving the room. when the door closed, there were no bad thoughts or anything else on your mind anymore.
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luvingtsumu · 20 days ago
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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐓 𖥔 ࣪˖ ( MIYA ATSUMU X FEM!READER )
noticing small changes is difficult at first, but when they start becoming so visible it’s hard to not overthink stuff, but miya atsumu definitely wasn’t in love with you, right? even when it was painfully obvious.
★ genre: fluff | content: friends to lovers, fluff, jealousy, actions speaking louder than words.
★ author’s note: now that i have a job i’ve been buying a lot of atsumu merch, i’m gonna end up broke.
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O1 . BACKPACK
You and Atsumu always played rock, paper, scissors after school to decide who was carrying the backpacks, usually, you were the loser, and he always made sure to rub it in your face.
He was lazy, he never wanted to carry anyone’s backpacks, especially not yours; so this rock, paper, scissors game worked perfectly for him —since he already knew you always picked scissors first.
“I won again!” he said, sticking his tongue out at you.
“Not fair! Let’s play again.” you crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him.
“C’mon, we already played 3 times, yer a loser.” he said, throwing his backpack at you.
You catch it with both hands, groaning slightly as you glared at him.
“Oh, come on! My back hurts today.” you complained “I fell on my back today.”
“Ya fell?” he laughed.
“Fucking Kino threw the ball at me way too hard! That was a hate crime.” he laughed again so you hit him on the shoulder “Shut up!”
“Sorry, sorry.” he smiled “Does it hurt or what?”
“A little bit.”
“Are ya that weak? Geez, no wonder why yer always tired in p.e. class.” he snickered.
“You know I hate you?” you rolled your eyes, placing his backpack on your shoulder.
“I figured.” he stole his and your backpack from your hands, placing them over his shoulders.
You looked at him with a confused look before smirking, he scoffed and looked away.
“‘m only gonna take ‘em today, cause yer hurt, alright?”
That was the first time that Atsumu, on his own willing, carried your backpack for you.
Then there was a second time.
Then a third one.
And suddenly you realize that now you barely carried your backpack after school. At first you were happy about that, and teased him about being your servant, but then you started to feel a bit bad cause he was always carrying your stuff; and even when you insisted on helping, he would brush you off.
“Yer too week, I don’t want yer back to get hurt.”
“I already have it on me.”
“Don’t complain, ‘m helpin’ ya.”
You thought it was weird that he was acting so nice, but you figured maybe he changed his ways and wanted to be nicer, besides, it was great not having to carry your heavy backpack; so you finally let it happen with no complaints.
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O2 . FOOD
Atsumu absolutely hated when people ate his food, he didn’t even let his own brother grab a cookie from his lunch.
Either way, you didn’t cared if he didn’t liked it, you always found a way to steal a bit of his food, and he was always loud when you did it, calling you names and pulling your arms so you wouldn’t get to steal another onigiri.
You were used to that, and still, you didn’t even noticed when that changed. It started small and it was easy to not notice a change, but soon enough his brother pointed out how Atsumu didn’t got mad at you anymore when you stole his food, he didn’t budged and just gave you a small glance before going back to eating.
You thought about it for a bit and decided to test it, grabbing some of his tuna when he was just about to eat it.
“Hm, this one doesn’t taste that good as the one you brought yesterday.” you said after swallowing the food.
He looked between you and the tuna, then he started eating without budging “Yeah, ‘samu did the one yesterday.”
“That explains it, you’re a terrible cook.” he glared at you, making you chuckle “Respectfully.”
You noticed him rolling his eyes, but you got nothing more than that after stealing his food; so you decided to ask him to see if his reaction would change.
“Can I have some of your chips, ‘tsumu?”
“Open ‘em.” he said, handing you the bag of chips “Just make sure no one else eats ‘em.” and with that, he continued eating.
You gave him a weird look, raising and eyebrow.
You were so used to him yelling at you that it felt strange that he wasn't doing it. For some reason, it made you feel guilty, again. It felt better to steal food from him and have him yelling at you, rather than him handing it to you.
“You know what? I’m not hungry.” you said, handing him the bag of chips “Thanks though.”
That was the last time you attempted to eat from his food, unless he vocally expressed he wanted to share his food from you.
He even looked bothered by the fact you weren’t stealing his food anymore, but your best friend loved his food, so you sure were imagining things.
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O3 . TWINS
Even if Atsumu and Osamu fought all the time, they were still brothers, they were still twins. They still told everything to each other —even if they pretended to not listen—, and they still wanted to help each other.
So even if you tried to stop yourself from overthinking, it wasn’t an easy task. You felt like the twins knew something about you that not even you knew. It was weird, of course, but it felt like they were working against you or about you.
They would whisper at each other when you passed by them, and you always saw them sharing looks when you hung out with them. To be honest, you felt left out, it felt like you were missing something.
Normally, you would tell the twins about your current concern, but in this case, they were the current concern, so you decided to rely on Aran.
“Don’t mind them.” he waved his hand in the air “They’re always all weird, same thing happened to me and turns out they just admired me a lot.” he smirked.
You chuckled “I don’t think they admire me, Aran, it’s easier to think they despise me.”
“You’re their best friend, they don’t hate you.” he assured you “They’re better than that.”
Aran’s words were reassuring, and you decided to stop focusing on the topic and let the twins do their own stuff.
Even when Osamu asked you weird and too specific questions about your love life.
Or when he suddenly canceled on plans last minute, making you and Atsumu stay alone.
Or when he exchanged weird looks with Atsumu whenever you spoke about boys.
All just coincidence’s.
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O4 . JEALOUSY
“Me ‘nd ‘samu we’re talkin’ the other day…” he took a bite of his burger “‘nd it would be pretty cool to go to the beach this weekend.”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full.” you chuckled, before sighing “The beach?”
He swallowed his food as he nodded “Yeah! The weather has been nice this past days.”
“I can’t this weekend.” you took a sip of your drink, watching his expression grow confused.
“What? Why?”
“I have plans with Kino and Shinji. Although I don’t think Shinji is gonna make it, so just me and Kino.”
Atsumu’s eyebrows visibly raised as he listened to your words. You continued eating, unaware of the way Atsumu’s stomach did a flip.
“Why are ya goin’ with them anyway?” he mumbled as he took a very small bite of his almost finished burger.
You scoffed “What do you mean why? They’re my friends.” you smiled.
“I thought they were just dudes in yer classroom.”
“No.” you chuckled “I’m actually friends with them, even when they’re a pain in the ass. I’m actually closer to Kino.” you said, thinking out loud.
Atsumu’s jaw clenched as he wrapped up what was left of the burger and threw it in the trash can.
“Weekends are for me, tho…” he said without thinking, quickly changing his words “—‘nd for ‘samu too.”
“Oh, come on, for one weekend that I don’t spend time with you? You’ll survive.”
Atsumu grumbled “I guess.”
Atsumu zoned out for a few seconds, deep in thought until he finally turned to see you.
“Isn’t Kino the guy ya went to eat with the other day?”
“Yeah, you remember him?” you smiled.
“Yeah. I actually do.”
Of course he did, Osamu is friends with one of Kino’s close friends, and he told Osamu that Kino had a big, fat crush on you. Of course he did. But you were his girl, his! How dare this other man disterup his precious time with you.
“Enjoy yer time with him, or whatever.” he sighed, rubbing the side of his neck as he tried to ease the feeling inside of him.
“I will.” you chuckled “We can go to the beach other day.”
“Sure.”
He didn’t understand why he was feeling like this, so bitter about you having other friendships besides him, other guys that liked you like he did —or maybe not like he did, cause he definitely liked you more than any ordinary guy ever will.
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O5 . TEXTS AND CALLS
Your phone vibrated with a notification, and you knew who it was even before you turned on your screen.
Atsumu, of course it was him.
Normally you couldn’t have a single conversation with him over text, since he was barely on his phone, always studying, training or playing some game with Osamu. He never checked his texts and it was a real challenge to try to get in contact with him during summer break cause he never answered.
You always told him it was like talking to a wall, truly, and he always scoffed and told you he was a busy man with a busy life.
But now all of that had changed, cause suddenly now he had so much time, apparently. Always texting you every time he wanted and could, spaming your phone. You two even did calls when he walked back home or when he went to the convenience store.
You didn’t knew when it changed, but you weren’t complaining. It was like having a puppy begging for attention 24/7. Kinda fun.
[ 9:20 p.m. ] i found a cat on the way back home and it fucking bit me
[ 9:20 p.m. ] i mean, the AUDACITY
[ 9:21 p.m. ] and also, i bought you some of those chips you wanted the other day, the disgusting ones 🥰
[ 9:21 p.m. ] yeah, i know, i’m the best. don’t thank me too much, it was all me
[ 9:21 p.m. ] also, APPARENTLY you don’t put spoons on the microwave, never knew that huh
[ 9:23 p.m. ] are you gonna answer or what
[ 9:23 p.m. ] HELLOOOO??????
[ 9:26 p.m. ] do you hate me or what
[ 9:30 p.m. ] YOU’RE LITERALLY ONLINE
[ 9:30 p.m. ] WHO ARE YOU ANSWERING TO 😐😐
[ 9:31 p.m. ] why won’t you answer meeeee
[ 9:40 p.m. ] what did i do? are you mad at me and that’s why you’re not answering?
[ 9:40 p.m. ] tell me and i’ll apologize
[ 9:40 p.m. ] i’ll get on my knees
[ 9:41 p.m. ] if i get a tattoo of your name on my whole chest will you forgive me and speak to me again?
[ 10:00 p.m. ] i was taking a bath. WHAT
[ 10:00 p.m. ] HEY OMG YOU DON’T HATE ME :3
[ 10:01 p.m ] cringe. and i do hate you
[ 10:01 p.m ] also, did your microwave exploded or what?
[ 10:02 p.m. ] i wasn’t aware of microwave instructions ok, leave me alone
[ 10:04 p.m ] you stupid
You chuckled to yourself as Atsumu started spamming even more texts. It was fun.
Soon enough you got a call, and you know you two were probably gonna fall asleep on the phone once again.
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O6 . PHYSICAL TOUCH
Atsumu was a sucker for physical touch, you knew that since you became friends with him. He was always bothering everyone, grabbing their hands, ruffling their hair, hugging them, any way that provided him physical touch worked for him!
It was something you were used to but not something you were always expecting, and also you were sure he wasn’t expecting any from you. Or so you thought, cause lately he’s been kinda whiny about it.
“So, see you tomorrow.” you waved at him as you closed your door after he dropped you off.
You went calmly upstairs, dropping your things in bed and then going to open the curtains and— there he was. Standing in front of the door with his arms crossed.
You raised an eyebrow and opened the window, yelling at him “The hell you’re doing?”
He looked up at you, huffing and then looking down again.
You rolled your eyes and closed your window again before making your way downstairs to see what he needed.
“What, weirdo?” you opened the door, just to see him pouting.
“Ya forgot to hug me goodbye.” he spoke through his teeth.
“Hug you goodbye?” you said with amusement.
“Yeah.” he looked down at him “Ya hate me or somethin’? Ya always hug me before ya leave.”
“Oh, my bad, king.” you mocked, before opening your arms and pulling him for a hug.
He whined but soon enough his arms wrapped around your waist, head buried into your shoulder.
You chuckled as you rolled your eyes, hands rubbing his back, feeling every muscle. Atsumu’s thumbs rubbed circles in the exposed skin of your lower back, he sighed, breathing in your soft scent.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” you mumbled.
“Yeah.” he mumbled back “I’ll pick ya up.”
“Alright.”
“Alright.”
But none of you let go of the other.
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O7 . CRUSH?
As a way to celebrate the school days being finally over to go into summer break, you organized a sleepover, and now Atsumu, Osamu, Suna and Aran were there since the others couldn’t make it.
As you and the guys spoke about Osamu’s crush, you suddenly turned to Atsumu.
“And you? Any girl got your heart?” you smiled.
The room suddenly went silent, except for Suna’s low chuckle.
Atsumu was quiet too, he was thinking. Wasn’t he obvious enough? Didn’t he showed his feelings? His heart that beats to your name?
“No.” he looked down, cheeks getting red as he started fidgeting with the control he was holding.
You raised an eyebrow, looking at everyone else. It seemed like they all knew something you didn’t.
“Guys?” you mumbled, but everyone seemed to look away from you.
You looked back at Atsumu and saw his red cheeks, then you looked down, noticing your leg that was on top of his.
Suddenly something clicked in your head. And bells started ringing on your head.
Everything started making sense like a piece of a puzzle.
The girl he had a crush on, was you. Miya Atsumu had a deep crush on you and had been trying to show it to you the whole time.
And, oh god.
You were in love with him too.
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itz-mfkn-de · 5 months ago
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\\ALWAYS YOU//. M.R
warnings— OOC MATTHEO, Im a sucker for toxic boys but I made him extra sweet in his one idk why, uhhh not many tbh, cussing, kissing, smoking, that’s all I think.
summary— Mattheo was your best friend, always had been, but was the title of ‘friend’ enough?
-my first work for Mattheo! I will eventually get a master list going once I get more comfertable posting on here. This is a repost of one of my works on wattpad, just with some tweaks bc that work was olldddd-
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You sat against mattheos 𝐛𝐞𝐝, 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 out of his dorm window.
"You know, some times, I'm worried for you. You just stare at things, it's weird." He snickered  as he took a drag from his cigarette.
You looked at him and scoffed, "Sometimes I'm worried about your lungs, you're bound to get some type of problem with all that's smoking you do." You half-joked, glancing at him.
He rolled his eyes, tilting his head up and blew the smoke out of his mouth.
"Seriously Mattheo, that stuff is absolute horse-shit for your body." You stated, accompanying your words with a sharp glare.
"I don't do it that often, just when I'm stressed." He muttered, taking his feet off of his desk and turning his body to face you.
"What happened to the whole 'I don't give a fuck about anything or anybody but myself' thing?" You said, mocking him to the best of your abilities.
"First of all I don't fucking sound like that," he laughed and squinted at you "second, just stressed about life, nothing in particular." 
You softly chuckled at his reaction. His eyes broke from yours, looking at some papers on his desk. Your eyes, however, never left his frame. You could stare at him for eternity, everything about his face seemed so perfect, almost as if it were meant to be admired.
You soon realized your staring and quickly averted your gaze towards the window again.
"You gonna go to the Yule ball this year?" You broke the silence, you knew Mattheo hated those things, he hated having to be around a shit ton of people and act like he enjoyed their company.
"Probably not." His demeanor changed, his tone became short, almost snappy.
"Oh, I'm probably just gonna go with Becca." You mumbled, knowing that if no guy was to ask you, Becca had your back.
"Hm." He nearly laughed at your remark.
"What? What's so funny?" You asked, looking back at him, his back still facing you.
"Just surprised you aren't going with a random slytherin guy or something." He answered, but the way he had said it has a strange undertone that you weren't sure how to feel about.
"Well I mean I don't know, I haven't been asked yet." You stated truthfully.
"Ah, I see." He murmured, soon after taking another drag of his cigarette.
You felt tension building in the room, suffocating tension. You weighed your options out, but you decided it would be better to give Mattheo some space, for what you were unsure of.
"Well, Becca and Emma told me they wanted to go dress shopping earlier so I think I'm gonna head over there so we can solidify our plans." You announced while picking up your books and putting them in your bag. 
"Bye Mattheo." You said while walking out of his dorm, expecting a response.
You shut the door when you got nothing, you mind raced with the possibilities on what could've caused mattheos strange behavior.
Maybe he'd just had an off day? No that couldnt have been it, he was fine moments before his attitude took a turn. 
Perhaps he was just having mood swings, you wouldn't be surprised with all the trash he puts in his body.
You stuck with that story and walked back to your dorm, which was on the other side of the slytherin tower. 
You reached it, setting your things down, then quickly turned around and nearly raced to your friends dorm.
The second you reached it, You waisted no time to jump on her bed, causing her to jump. 
"Yes, of course you can come into my room unannounced and lay on my bed." Becca said sarcastically. She had been digging through her closet in an attempt to find a dress. 
"Sorry, I just need to vent." You said while propping yourself up on your elbows.
"Go ahead." She sighed and laid her body weight 
"Okay so, there's this guy. He's like my best friend, but.."
She raised her eyes brows, signaling you to continue.
"But I want us to be more, or atleast I see him as more than a friend. I just feel like no matter how hard I try I can't get him to open up, he just.. won't."  You groaned.
"And everytime I get this sliver of hope that I've made progress, he just completely shuts down, leaving me in the dark confused and a little bit heartbroken!" You borderline screamed, your face shoved into her mattress.
"Okay, uh, let's calm down. If he's not showing any signs of being interested maybe you should just, move on- well attempt to at least." Becca stated ,rubbing your back.
You shut your eyes, truly taking in your friends words.  “hey Yknow what will make you feel better?” She nearly jumped with excitement. “Going to look for a dress in town.”
You knew she only had good intentions but the words kept echoing through your head. The thought of keeping Mattheo as a friend hurt, but it seemed to be all you could do at this point without ruining your friendship.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe you needed to accept Mattheo 
was just a friend.
-
All you could think about was the Yule ball. Over the next few weeks the days flew by, the anticipation growing larger with each one passing.
Of course you had been asked by some sweet guy from the Ravenclaw house, and, taking Becca's advice, you said yes.
There was nothing wrong with him, he just..he wasn't him.
You had decided to get ready alone, slipping into a beautiful green dress you and Becca had picked out. You finished your hair and makeup, looking into your vanity mirror.
You felt beautiful.
You smiled softly at how well you had dolled yourself up.
Glancing up at the clock, you rushed out of your dorm room, realizing it was the time you and your date had agreed to meet at the entrance by. 
You walked gracefully through the halls, a large smile adorning your face. Your heels tapped softly against the ground. You neared the entrance, your breath becoming shallow from the nerves. 
Then you saw Becca, she was wearing a beautiful Maroon dress. She looked absolutely breath taking.
"Hey!— oh my gosh." Becca looked at you, her jaw dropping. 
"You look stunning! Like some type of goddess...." She said barely above a whisper.
"Becca! Stop, you can't be talking, I forgot how to breathe the moment I saw you." You hugged her.
You were about to continue praising her and her beauty, but before you could comment you heard someone call your name.
"Y/n..wow.." he said, just loud enough for you to hear.
You turned around to see your date, who was wearing a very clean red and black suit. 
"Oh my gosh hi! Sorry for being a tad late, I lost track of time while getting ready!" You made your way next to your date, not before Becca gave you a sly smile and a push, leaving to go with her specimen she had chose for the night 
"It's okay.., you look amazing." He had said, taking your arm into his. He began to lead you into the ballroom.
"Thank you, I must say, you cleaned up nice." You smiled sweetly at him.
You and him entered the large room full of people, everything was elegant and royal, not a single speck of dust on anything.
You looked around the large room as your date led you down the stairs, you couldn't lie, you felt like a princess. The beautiful architecture of the room, complimented by your stunning dress, felt like something straight out of a fairy tale.
Once you had made it to the bottom of the staircase, you excused yourself away from your date in an attempt to go find Becca again. 
You stumbled past groups of people, many of them were couples having a romantic moment. 
You tried your best not to run into anybody, you dodged dancing bodies and nearly jogged across the dance floor.
You almost missed him.
You almost walked right by him.
You almost could've saved yourself the heartbreak.
But no you saw it—him with some random Hufflepuff girl. 
The way he whispered in her ear, the way she giggled a little too sweetly, everything. 
It all made you wanna cry—or throw up, which one that would be you weren't quite sure about yet. 
"Y/n?" Theodore came beside you and patted your back.
"Theo-Theodore, I thought Mattheo wasn't coming to the dance?" You struggled to get your words out as your eyes darted between the scene before you and Theodore. 
"Oh—uh yeah, he wasn't gonna originally, but some girl asked him and I guess he took a liking to her because usually he just brushes everyone off." Theo answered.
"Oh, I see, I just came to say hello. I'll be on my way now." Before Theodore could argue with your strange behavior you turned your back and walked as quickly as you could back to were your date was. 
You abandoned the idea of going to find Becca, you couldn't accidentally run into Mattheo and his.. friend again.
Instead you decided that distracting yourself with your date would be the best thing for your heart at the moment.
"Hey, sorry , I just saw a friend and got distracted." You said, out of breath.
"Oh. Don't even sweat it, I'm just glad you didn't run away and not come back." He joked, dragging you towards the dance floor. You couldn't help but laugh at his bubbly personality. It was a nice change of speed.
"I hope you like to dance." His hands fell onto your hips, yours made their way to his shoulders.
"I actually hate it." You smiled at him. 
"How unfortunate." Your smile grew when he matched your energy. You nearly forgot what you had seen a couple moments ago.
But alas, you didn't.
You could feel your chest tightening up, the tears bordering you waterline. Just thinking about him touching that girl in any way made you want to breakdown.
"Ex.—excuse me." You tried to excuse yourself as politely as you could. 
You didn't want your date too see you like this, vulnerable, heartbroken.
You urgently walked towards any door in your line of sight. When you finally found one, you ran through it. 
You just couldn't escape him, no matter how hard you tried. He was at every single corner you turned.
You nearly groaned when you saw him propped up over the balcony, smoking of course. 
He hasn't seemed to notice you, still looking out at the stars. 
You couldn't do it anymore, you couldn't spend one more fucking second acting like you weren't in love with him. 
The sad part was you'd rather be his friend than him hate you and be nothing at all. As long as he thought about you, you'd be okay. 
That's what you had been telling yourself, but you couldn't hold onto that lie anymore. 
"Mattheo." You croaked out behind him.
His head shot to the side, looking you dead in the eyes. 
"Angel… what're you doing out here."  He looked back out to the stars, unable to make eye contact. 
"I can't do it anymore."  You said shakily.
He turned his full body around this time, his eyes a dark brown. He blew the smoke out of his mouth, the wind pushing it in the opposite direction.
"I can't keep pretending I don't feel this way.., do you know how hard it was to watch you talk to that girl?" You nearly cried out.
"All the girls you fuck with and then bring them to shit like this, I cant keep lying to myself —wishing that it was me instead of her."
You were on the brink of gasping for air, your head pounded. You couldn't believe you had suppressed these emotions for so long. Every single time you went to Mattheo's dorm, you could barely restrain yourself from kissing him. 
Before you could continue on with your speech 
Mattheo had forced you against the wall. 
His lips met yours in a harsh collision. In an almost immediate reaction, your body responded to his actions, kissing him back with just as much need and hurry.
"You don't get to fucking do that."  He pulled back from your lips, still making sure to keep his face mere inches from yours.
"Every single day, I'd sit there and watch you talk to this new guy, I couldn't do shit about it— I wouldn't let myself do shit about it."
“I knew you deserved so much better than some lousy asshole like me, angel.” His hand held a firm grip on your hips, his other still had its place on the stone wall. 
"It took everything in me not to punch that fucker in the face when I saw him look at you, but I knew you wouldn't want that." You melted beneath his gaze.
His kisses trailed down your jawline.
"During second year, when I went to the dance, I saw you there with Draco, I nearly killed him right after. I couldn't bear to see you with anyone other than myself.. so I wouldn't go, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it so I never went to another ball again." He gently caressed your cheek with his thumb.
"Until this year." He mumbled softly in between the kisses he was leaving on your neck.
He brought his face back up to yours, his eyes stormy and clouded with something darker than just simple need.
"What'd he say to you? What did he call you?" Mattheo asked with a dark shimmer in his eyes, one you were hoping was just from the moon.
You swallowed harshly, you hadn't realized how dry your mouth truly was. 
"He just said I looked nice—" 
"Nice? You look fucking ravishing. I've never met a girl as beautiful as you, never once in my life seen a girl who could compare anywhere near you...That's why I call you angel you know...,because even if an angel walked by, my eyes would still be glued on you."
His gentle voice tickled your ears, and your cheeks warmed up beneath him.
"You are my angel."
He kissed you again, only this time it was more gentle. His lips held no rush, they were soft and comforting. 
You were the one to pull back this time, smiling sweetly up at him. He pulled you from against the wall, leaving the two of you in the center of the balcony, under the sparkling stars.
"I can't believe we've been friends all these years, and neither of us made a move."
He spun you around under the moon light, the beautiful sky knocking the breath out of you.
"Hey matty..?”You whispered once he had began to hold you in his arms gently.
"Yes angel?" He matched your tone, the sweet nickname you gave him made his chest tighten up.
"I love you." You closed your eyes, shutting them slowly.
"I love you... I always thought I'd never be the type to say that so freely, guess I just needed to meet the right person." He swayed the two of you lightly, finding a rhythm in the midnight winds. 
"Of course it's you... 
It's always been you."
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skipper1331 · 11 months ago
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Is it too late to make things right? // Grace Clinton
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a/n: based off this request. Hope you enjoy it!
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Everything Grace Clinton did, made you furious.
It didn’t matter if it was the way she talked, laughed or played - even just her breathing, blinking or existing made you more than angry.
You hated Grace Clinton with a passion and no, not without any reason, as everybody always said.
"Don’t be so rude to Gracie, she did nothing wrong"
"Can‘t you be nice to her for once?"
"It‘s her debut show some respect"
You hated Grace Clinton for what she did to you and the way she had humiliated you.
But in fact, you respected her debut, she played phenomenally but obviously you didn’t tell her that - you didn’t talk to her at all.
After the game, you walked to the changing room, not looking at the midfielder or giving her congratulations for her game.
"What the fuck is your problem?" the voice of Alessia shrilled through the hall.
"Are you talking to me?" you asked dumbfounded, confused on what the problem was.
"Who else?"
Shrugging your shoulders, you looked at her. "Come on, out of everybody you were the first one to flee the scene"
"and apparently, you the second one, hm?" you cut her off, "Alessia, say what you want to say or leave me alone" you stated firmly, even though you already knew what the problem was: Grace Clinton.
Taken back from your firm voice and the use of Alessia instead of Less made her crumble under your gaze - you loved nicknames, you rarely called people by their actual name.
"What is your problem with Grace?" she asked anyways.
"I don’t have a problem with Clinton"
There it was - Clinton, it clearly showed your disliking.
Alessia knew you well enough to know that that was a lie, not only because you were a terrible liar but the Clinton gave it away. If Lessi had to describe you, she would say "When she calls you by a nickname, she loves you - you’re her friend. When she calls you by your actual name, she a) doesn’t know you yet or b) the situation is serious. When you get called by your surname, there is a problem."
"Didn’t think you’d be a liar" she replied, slowly getting annoyed at your behavior. Grace was like a little sister to her, she had to be protected at all costs.
"And I don’t think I have asked for your opinion"
With that you turned back around and continued your walk to the changing room.
"Ever since Grace is here you’re an absolute ass!" the blonde yelled after you.
-
You avoided Alessia, and Grace even more after your encounter with the blonde. Out of everyone, you didn’t expect Alessia to be rude to you. Not only because she‘s a sunshine herself but because she‘s your club teammate too. But it’s about Clinton, of course she would protect her.
What Alessia didn’t know was that her sweet Gracie was an ass herself, rude and mean.
-
"Hey"
You looked up from your book, seeing Less in front of you, before taking a seat beside you.
"Can I help you?" you asked, turning the page in your book, focusing on the words there.
The striker sighed, thinking about what to say - she stayed silent.
"I‘m not in the mood for being yelled at again, so with all respect, please leave me alone"
"I‘m sorry for my outburst" she apologized, "I’m just trying to understand what the problem is.."
This time it was you who sighed, closing the book, "Less, I don’t want to be rude, but it‘s none of your business. Gracie is not the person she used to be and neither am I. We play for the same country and that‘s it" you stood up from your seat, intending to leave - running away.
Alessia was shocked, not about the part where you said it’s none of her business - she knew you were right - you didn’t call the current Tottenham player Clinton but Gracie. You could have chosen anything yet you said Gracie, a nickname.
"What happened between the two of you?" Her hand on your arm stopped you, Lessi‘s voice caring.
On clue, said person came into view, locking eyes with you.
"We grew apart"
It was the longest eye contact you had with her since what? maybe years. Familiar feelings rummaged through your body - looking into the eyes you once loved so dearly.
Anger was displayed on her face, marching over as she purposely and aggressively bumped into you, "watch where you‘re going" she spat which you only ignored.
"What the fuck, Alessia" the midfielder growled, pulling her somewhere more private.
"Why are you talking to her about me!"
"Grace-"
"No, Alessia! This is absolutely none of your fucking business. She broke up with me years ago, so let her be!"
"Who broke up with whom?" The noisy voice of Ella chipped in. The place Grace chose wasn‘t as private as she had thought.
"Y/n was your girlfriend?"
The young lioness inhaled, closing her eyes for a brief moment, "no.. she ended things before I could ask her."
"Why?" Tooney asked as the best friends shared a look.
"We should go on a walk" the blonde striker then proposed, to which Grace surprisingly agreed. The topic had been bothering her for years, not knowing what she had done wrong, that you didn't want anything to do with her anymore. From one day to the next you ignored her, stopped talking to her - didn't even look at her. What had she done wrong? Her heart still breaks when she thinks back to the evening when everything went downhill. She wanted to ask you that night if you would like to be her girlfriend. You had danced around your feelings quite a while, even though you both knew there was something there - the stolen kisses, the sneaky touches, the love letters - but you broke her heart before she could ask you, even though the real reason was that she had broken your heart first.
"Why haven’t you talked to us?" Lessi asked as the three of them walked outside of the facility in Spain.
Shrugging her shoulders, "there was never a reason to" she replied, "we never played at the same club, so it was easy for her to avoid me, same goes with the call up - she got hers earlier, so we didn’t see each other at camps either"
"How do you feel now? Seeing her?" this time it was Ella who asked.
"I‘m being rude to her. And I know that‘s not right, but it‘s- I don’t even know, unspoken anger I guess, because she just broke my heart and because that‘s the only attention I will get from her…"
"You loved her, didn’t you?"
"I do"
"Do?"
"Did? Have? Do? I don’t know" she mumbled, "how could I not? You know her, she‘s more than incredible"
Years later, Grace still wasn’t over you, being near you made it clear. She couldn’t get over the things she felt for you. You were the first girl she‘s kind of been with. You were her first love story and her first love.
Putting her feelings aside, busying herself with work didn’t heal her, it just made her feelings more intense as they came crashing down now.
"Have you ever tried talking to her?"
"Of course! I asked her so many times what I did wrong, she never answered me" she sighed.
Alessia and Ella had never seen their friend so vulnerable and tired. Her facade had dropped, she deeply cared about you yet all the unanswered questions turned into anger - she just didn’t know how to deal with her feelings and the struggle of not having you in her life.
She missed you.
-
To say that Ella and Alessia saw you differently now was only partly correct. Both of them had many questions, what did happen? What was the reason you ended things before they even started? Has Grace done something wrong? But most importantly: Was there a way to make amends?
It was the next day after training when the best friends decided to take matters into their own hands. You two had to sort things out. The rudeness started getting more and more while the tension grew thicker each second. To be fair, it didn’t affect either of your or the teams playing performance as you kept things professional on the pitch yet off the pitch both of you acted like angry toddlers towards each other.
"We need to do something" Ella huffed at Alessia, both of them watching you growling at Grace.
"Do what? Lock them in a room??" Alessia intended to joke which the midfielder took seriously. "That‘s an awesome idea!", pulling the girl towards Mary - they definitely needed her help.
And when Mary was introduced to the idea, the three, so called master minds, came up with a perfect plan.
-
"Grace, wanna play darts?" Ella asked the young lioness, grinning.
"Um, maybe later" asked person replied as she relaxed on one of the bean bags in the 'movie' room.
"Are you afraid you‘ll loose?" Tooney challenged - she knew Grace could never back down a challenge and not even the slightest when it was something as simple as darts. It can’t be that hard to throw a dart, can it?
Meanwhile Mary asked you the exact same, the only difference that you agreed in an instant, darts something you loved to play in camps.
Walking to the 'game' room of the facility - a room with darts, pool and table football - the gk and you talked about the last upcoming friendly.
Arriving in the room, "I forgot my lucky dart!" Mary suddenly stated, leaving the room quickly, "I’m back in a moment" she called.
Not thinking anything about it, you waited for her to come back.
She didn’t.
In fact, when the door opened again, someone stumbled into the room before the door was quickly locked.
"Ella?!"
"Sorry for pushing you!" the man united player answered behind the closed door.
"Why are you locking me in this room?"
"Turn around" you answered.
The current Tottenham player jumped, "don‘t scare me like that!" her hand clutching over her heart, trying to calm down.
"You have to sort things out" Alessia joined the conversation.
"We can play darts after that" Mary added.
"We‘ll be back in an hour"
You grumbled under your breath, marching away from Grace who stood in front of the door hoping it would open magically.
"I guess, we have to talk if we want to leave this room today" Grace said after 10 minutes of an awkward silence.
"No thanks" you responded nonchalantly. You didn‘t want to talk to Grace ever again unless it was work related.
"Come on, don’t be so stubborn" the midfielder slowly walked towards you sitting on the pool table.
"Grow up, Clinton"
"I grew up while we grew apart" she mocked your words - words that hadn’t left her mind ever since you said them. What did you even mean by that? You haven’t grown apart - you ended things out of nowhere!
"Clinton, leave me alone"
That was the last straw, "can you fucking stop with the Clinton?!" she snapped, stepping right in front of you. She hated it. Yes, it was her surname and she loved to see it on the back of jerseys but she hated it when you called her that. What happened to Gracie? Lovely girl? Or love?
"Get a grip, Clinton"
There was no point in making an effort - you wouldn’t talk, you‘ve made that very clear.
Grace walked to the other side of the room, sitting down on the little bench that was the next to the dartboard.
She felt helpless. And even though she was in the same room, it felt like the two of you were oceans apart.
The silence was deafening.
You didn’t mind that - as long as Grace was shutting her mouth, you‘d be fine with everything.
Grace did mind it - it made her anxious. She was closer to you than she had been in years. This was her opportunity to find out what she did wrong and what the reason was that you hated her now. What happened to being friends? Secret Lovers? What’s happened to the chance of being together forever?
"Y/n/n, please" the young lioness almost whispered. You froze, you hadn’t heard that one in years - the midfielder, the only one who ever used that nickname.
"Just answer one question and I promise you to never talk to you again off pitch"
"You better keep that promise" you said firmly, turning around as the Tottenham player jumped up, walking towards you.
Leaning against the table football, she thought about her questions - which would be the best to ask.
"What did I do wrong?" It was the most obvious question to ask but maybe the answer would finally give Grace some inner peace.
"Seriously? Of all the questions you could have asked, you chose one where you already know the answer-"
"But I don‘t! I don’t know anything! Out of nowhere you cut me off! Pretending I don’t exist!"
"You don‘t exist to me anymore" you stated rather calmly while Grace was gesticulating wildly, frown and the wrinkle between her brows deepening.
"How can you say that?! I used to be important to you"
Lowly, you empathized "Used to" which was only partly true. Parts of your heart always yearned for Grace, hoping she was doing well and achieving all of her dreams.
A part of you still loved Grace Clinton, and forever will.
"Just- just answer the question, please"
"You humiliated me, Grace, you humiliated me in the worst way you ever could."
"How? I‘m so in love with you, i would never dream of upsetting you in any way."
You laughed, clapping your hands, "You‘re funny"
"What‘s wrong with you?!"
"What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?" You felt yourself getting angry, starting to match her furios energy. As if Grace didn‘t know what she had done - what sick game was she playing?
"You humiliated me, Grace, that’s what wrong. How could you? I thought- i thought you liked me. At least enough to keep private things private and not to read them out loud in the fucking locker room!" your voice took many changes in that short statement. It started off calm, before it turned sad, almost vulnerable as the last part was full of venom.
The midfielder froze on the spot, arms falling to her sides as she realized what the problem had been years ago and still was.
The unknown feeling exposed now, flashbacks crossing her mind from that day, "the letters" left her mouth, eyes wide. How could it be that she hadn't thought of this sooner? Now everything made sense! Your anger and hostility towards her, the abrupt break in contact. The world was no longer your enemy, your only enemy was someone you believed would never break your heart. A someone that had promised you to fight with you against the world but instead, she had weakened you so much that you no longer had the strength to do so - your last strength was directed against her.
"Exactly. I‘ve heard what you said, Grace. And the worst part? You didn’t even read them. Our friend read them out loud and you laughed about them, telling the whole locker room that i was weirdly obsessed with you 'Nah. I don‘t stand her - she follows me around like a lost puppy. I don‘t even like girls' I remember everything, word for word, Clinton"
Your eyes turned glossy, you never healed from that humiliation.
"Listen to me-"
"No, you will listen to me." you growled, your voice was so full of anger, stepping towards her to intimidate her, "stay away from me"
Grace was breathing heavily, her eyes darting around your face - you were so close to her.
Not in control of her soul, mind or body, Grace smashed her lips against yours, hands gripping your hips as she pulled you close.
You couldn’t even register what was happening before your body responded in kissing her back - matching her energy.
The kiss was nothing like the kisses you shared before - it was feisty, all anger purred into this one kiss.
Yet it felt so good, your heart felt peace, an old familiar feeling you only ever felt when you were with the lioness. The walls you had built around it were gone. So even though Gracie was the reason why you had built them in the first place, she was now the reason why they collapsed.
When you slowly came to your senses, you pushed her away, lips swollen from kissing each other, feeling dizzy at the intensity and the feeling of happiness it had given you.
"I‘m sorry-"
"A sorry won‘t fix anything!" you shouted. You were so confused.
It was the first time where you ever had raised your voice at Grace. You didn’t mean the kiss but the girl knew exactly what you were referring to. And even though, you didn‘t like shouting or yelling in general, let alone at someone like Gracie, you defended yourself with that - an apology wouldn’t fix anything nor would a kiss.
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice" you said, not liking a shouting atmosphere or the sad look in Grace‘s eyes.
"It‘s okay" the midfielder breathed out shakily, "you know, all of your love notes are in my wallet. I read them at least once a day" she admitted, staring at the floor, not being able to trust her voice if she would look you in the eye, "It was stupid to think that I didn‘t know what I have done wrong while it was in fact right in front of me. I broke your heart the day you broke mine." taking a deep breath, she sorted her thoughts, "I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, all I want to do is give you an explanation."
You nodded slightly - you always wanted an explanation but instead of confronting the girl that day, you ran away, protecting yourself more and more over the years.
"One of the girls found your letters in my bag when they searched for something, I don’t even remember what. She read them out loud while I was on the other side of the locker room talking to your friend. I asked her, if I had her blessing to ask you to be my girlfriend. I knew how important it was to you and since she was the only who knew about us, that was the least I could do. We never talked about telling our teammates, so when she read the letters, I panicked. I panicked because I didn‘t want to be outed by someone else. I also panicked because I didn’t know if you‘d be okay with me admitting our- my love for you. I got so scared in that moment, that my self-protection mechanism answered before I could even reflect the situation. It felt like a stranger was controlling me. And you‘re right, 'sorry' won‘t fix anything but I want you to know that it was never my intention to break your heart. I meant it when I said that I want you to be mine forever. I have always loved you and I don’t think, that I will ever love someone who isn‘t you. So, even though it won‘t fix anything; I sincerely want to apologize. I‘m proud of you and the footballer you became - I will always be your number one fan"
Throughout her explanation, three things remained in your mind,
1. I don’t think I will ever love someone else - did that mean she still loved you?
2. Strangely, you believed every word she said. Grace had never lied to you - she was a terrible liar anyways.
3. Ask you to be my girlfriend - she wanted to make things official..?
"I did. I wanted you to be my girlfriend the second you smiled at me. I remember your shy smile, the way you looked everywhere, only briefly stopping at me." she chuckled, a love sick smile on her face.
"I thought I said that only in my head" you mumbled, cheeks turning red.
As Grace took a step closer, her hands cupping your cheeks, so you would look at her instead of the floor. "I never wanted to be your enemy" she whispered, her lips pressing tenderly against your forehead - a confession and a promise.
In that moment, both of you realized that maybe it wasn‘t too late to make things right. But it would take time and patience for you to learn how to love and trust each other again.
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misojunnie · 1 year ago
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DELICATE ─ psh. ☆ (teaser)
does love ever cross the line?
# genre: rich kid!enemy!sunghoon x fem!reader, forbidden love, enemies to lovers, slow burn, family feud, non idol au
# warnings: substances, lots of pining/angst, cursing, insults, mature jokes, implied sex, I have no idea how businesses work plz don’t roast me
# featuring: sunghoon & enha! + le sserafim
# playlist: delicate by taylor swift, take care by beach house, love by kendrick lamar, babydoll by dominic fike, hurts so good by astrid s
# a/n: hi y’all! I got this request a long time ago and only recently got to it, so I hope y’all like! lmk if u want to be added to the taglist! pls enjoy <3
# word count: 13.2k
# taglist: @lovialy @minniejenseo @powerpuffstuts @mnxnii @idkdykilr @ionlyreadforfanfics @heelovesmeknot @100520s @simjyunnie @scrumptiousloser @eneiyri @pinkkami @milkycloudtyg @enhypenlovre @pinkkami @m3chigo @saythenameseventeen178 @desistay @capri-cuntz.@taerifin open!
# unable to tag: @hohohobo
this was written upon anon request; check it out here!
when your father’s company cratered after a faulty business deal, a vendetta was formed between your family and the biggest export company in south korea. but that rivalry begins to falter when you fall in love with the ceo’s son.
[more under the cut!]
˗ˋ☆ˊ˗
Awards banquets were Sunghoon’s least favorite part of being in business. Forget the ruthlessness and backstabbing, dressing up in a suit and pretending to be successful blew all that warfare out of the water.
“It’s too tight.”
“It’s fine. You’ll be fine. Just stop complaining.”
“I’m not kidding, Jake. Loosen it or I’ll kill you.” Jake sighed, tugging on the navy blue tie until it was hanging loosely around Sunghoon’s neck, a stark and messy contrast to his crisp black suit and neat button up.
“Jesus Christ. After fifteen years, you’d think you’d know how to tie a tie.” Jake said, shaking his head as his best friend checked his hair in the mirror.
“Are you sure we have to go to this thing tonight?” Sunghoon huffed, brushing a stray piece of hair into place.
“Don’t be stupid. You’ve been going to these galas since you were six, and dragging me along with you.” Jake scoffed, pushing Sunghoon’s head from behind and ruining his hairstyle yet again, the latter glaring.
“You love it.” Sunghoon teased, tearing his eyes away from the mirror after checking his hair a last time. “God, I can’t believe we’re still having these idiotic galas. Everyone just knows they’re a coverup for big corporations to distract from the fact that they’re abusing their poor workers.”
“Nobody cares these days. Put a bow on anything and the media will eat it up.” Jake said, adjusting his tie before slapping his friend on the shoulder. “Ready to ruin some lives? Destroy some young futures?”
“Not funny.” Sunghoon warned, pointing his finger at Jake while trying to tug on his shoes with the other hand. “You know how much I hate the company.”
“Say that as much as you want, but you’re still wearing shoes bought with your daddy’s blood money.” Sunghoon huffed.
“Hm...I suppose you’re right.” he said, putting his hands on his hips.
“C’mon, let’s get you to the ball, Prince Charming.” Jake dragged Sunghoon out of the room by the wrist, locking it behind him, Sunghoon in tow.
Sunghoon sighed. God, how he hated his life. A legacy built on deception, and nothing he could do about it. Him and Jake made their way to the elevators, his dull eyes disappearing behind the closing doors.
He didn’t belong anywhere. Certainly not here.
˗ˋ☆ˊ˗
On the other side of the city, you were having an entirely different conversation.
“Take that off, Chae.” you said, biting into an apple. Your red lipstick bled into the fruit as you stared judgingly at Chaewon’s enormous diamond necklace.
“But it’s so pretty.” she crossed her arms, but you gave her a stern glance and she turned around to change with a roll of her eyes. “And you, put that out.” you swatted at Jay’s hand, a lit cigarette perched between his two fingers, roiling smoke spilling from the top. “You’re gonna make my new dress smell like smoke.”
“Jeez, what’s got your panties in a twist?” Jay asked, putting out his cigarette on the corner of the coffee table, which made you frown. “No need to stress. You’ve done this business routine a million times over.”
“I’m just nervous, I guess.” you said, hands fidgeting in your lap.
“I thought you didn’t care what the Parks thought about you.”
“I don’t.” you said firmly, tongue poking into the flesh of your left cheek. “I just want things to go smoothly, that’s all.”
“So you’re not gonna stand up to those fuckers that ruined your life? No protest?” Jay asked, resting his chin on his hand. “You always wanted to take them down.”
“Of course I do. But tonight’s not the night.” you sighed, rubbing your forehead, smudging your foundation and cursing when you realized what you had done. “I just want to be put together, just for one night.”
“Well you certainly look the part, honey.” he said, eyes trailing over your floor length red gown. “You’re a proper businesswoman.”
“I hope so.” you laughed.
“You’re gonna kill it. I know it for a fact.” Jay said, pressing a kiss to your cheek before standing. “Now let’s get you to this ball.” You grinned up at him, getting to your feet and brushing the dust off your skirt with determination.
“Let’s show these people who our company is.”
˗ˋ☆ˊ˗
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m1ckeyb3rry · 22 days ago
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hii, i was wondering if i could submit a request for a fic🤔I don't rlly have any specific prompt but i want it to be about karasu or zantetsu, either one is fine. i've read all of ur karasu fics and they're so good! i love ur writing sm!! if u don't want to i totally understand but i also just want to tell u that i think ur writing is awesome (^◡^)
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Synopsis: You become taken with your coworker’s roommate, Karasu, unaware that he’s just as fascinated by you — and maybe he has been for longer than you realize.
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BLLK Masterlist
Pairing: Karasu x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 8.6k
Content Warnings: relationship dynamics many would consider…interesting…, <- never thought i’d be using THAT for a karasu fic, i’m bored of normal karasu characterization so i made him ooc, he’s like fr a weirdo icl, otoya catches strays, yukimiya is just trying to get through the workday, reader is a model, reader’s feet are mentioned a lot?? not sexually in the slightest (they’re injured so she complains abt them) but i mean it’s there ig if you’re a hater, very vague and unfinished feeling not on purpose i just gave up tbh
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A/N: you sent this to me so long ago idek if you remember it LMAOAOAO i am so sorry i like fell off the face of the earth in terms of answering requests but HERE IT IS erm sorry it actually highkey sucks but at least karasu is in it…i guess…UGHHHH I HATE THIS BUT I COULDN’T KEEP PROCRASTINATING IT YOU LITERALLY SENT THIS IN THE BEGINNING OF AUGUST I’M SO SORRY MY DEAR but also tysm HAHHA you are very sweet!! i’m glad you like my writing and once again i am sorry for disappearing…
Additional: check my pinned post to make sure i have requests open; after reading the rules, please feel free to make your own!
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You had never seen the man leaning against the wall behind the camera before. He wore a dark trench coat and a plaid scarf looped around his neck, and unlike everyone else bustling about the set, barking out orders and shoving each other into place, he was entirely calm. In his right hand, he held his phone, scrolling through something on it with his thumb, and in between his teeth was a lollipop — cherry flavored, which you only knew because of the wrapper lying at his feet.
“That’s not Yukimiya, right?” you whispered to the girl who was buttoning up the back of your top.
“Hm?” she said. “No, Mr. Yukimiya hasn’t checked in yet. I have no idea who that is.”
He was tall, with wide shoulders and the type of face that must have been crafted with painstaking detail by someone or another, his features keen, his eyes a brilliant shade of blue so dark they were nearly violet or black. Dark hair fell into darker eyebrows like the ink of a ballpoint pen on a paper-pale forehead, and just above his left cheekbone was a black beauty mark, which changed everything and yet nothing about him.
You supposed he must’ve sensed your gaze lingering on him, for he furrowed his brow and then lifted his chin, scanning the room before his eyes meet yours. He didn’t seem offended by the prying, his lips curling into a smile as he lifted his left hand into a jaunty wave, returning his attention to whatever he was reading on his phone before you could respond in turn or do anything to feel less like you had been caught committing some crime.
“I’m sorry I’m late!”
This must’ve been Kenyu Yukimiya, your partner for the shoot. He was handsome, too, with a harried, windswept appearance to his reddened cheeks and tousled hair; when he grinned at you apologetically, he was entirely reminiscent of a painting from antiquity.
He sat in the chair next to you as the makeup team got to work, applying the faintest touch of product so that he was not entirely washed out by the blinding lights of the cameras in your faces. You returned his smile with one of your own, polite and careful.
“Luckily, the director hasn’t arrived yet, so it’s not a problem,” you said. “Apparently, he’s strict on everyone but himself.”
Yukimiya winced as a heap of clothes was thrown at him and the finishing touches were placed on his chestnut hair. You watched him with amusement, your hands folded in your lap as he was yanked to his feet.
“Guess I got lucky this time, then,” he said, stumbling into the dressing room, the door slamming shut behind him. You stood yourself, stretching your arms and legs with a deep breath, rolling your ankles in the air, alternating as you did so, and then pacing back and forth in an attempt to accustom yourself to the monstrosities that your feet had been shoved into.
The man in the corner didn’t seem affected by the chaos Yukimiya’s appearance had thrown everyone into. You thought you saw something like a snort escape him, but otherwise he was calm — although you noticed he had tucked his phone away and shoved his hands in his pockets, opting to instead observe his surroundings with a soft curiosity.
You turned away before he could shift his attention to you once again, because your pride could not handle being caught by him a second time, and you pretended like you were entirely fascinated with putting one foot in front of the other, walking in a line so straight it was as if it had been drawn with a ruler.
Yukimiya reappeared completely ready a few seconds later, tying the laces of his dress shoes and then joining you at your side, although of course he did not need to practice walking or anything so silly. Like most men, he had been afforded the luxury of comfort; he wasn’t the showpiece of this edition, after all. You were, and so you were the one made up into a spectacle beyond natural ability or attempt.
“Everyone, in your places!” the director shouted as he entered the studio, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the other on his hip. He was diminutive in stature and wore a ridiculously feathered hat, but what he lacked in height, he more than made up for in position, so nobody would dare to say that to him, least of all you, who could so easily be replaced.
Still, for one final time, you allowed yourself to look at the man standing all by himself, wondering if he’d offer some reaction to the getup, some indication that you weren’t alone in your feelings. You weren’t sure why it was him who you sought out; perhaps because he, unlike everyone else, was a mystery, an enigma, and so while you could map out without knowing what all the other faces in the room looked like at that moment, you needed to see his to understand it.
He wrinkled his nose into a snicker, shaking his head like he couldn’t quite believe his eyes, and then he took his phone back out of his pocket, maybe to give himself an excuse for laughing. It wasn’t like he really needed an excuse, because no one else was even looking at him, but then again, there was never any harm in caution.
“You’re Y/N L/N, right?” Yukimiya said to you, his hand on your shoulder as you faced the camera, waiting for the director to adjust your stances. “It’s a pleasure. I’m surprised this is the first time we’re actually talking.”
“The pleasure is mine,” you said. “And yes, it’s a wonder we haven’t worked together before, given how frequently I’ve heard your name mentioned. I’m looking forward to it.”
Something about Yukimiya served to enhance everyone he was around, and so, instead of stealing the attention from you, he somehow managed to direct the spotlight so that it shone only on your placid face. You had been expecting the opposite, but you weren’t angry about it; in fact, you couldn’t have been more pleased. It was always the worst thing when your coworker was jostling you out of the way for a few extra seconds in front of the cameras, and you thought to yourself that you’d have to find some way of ensuring you were booked with him more often.
“Amazing! I don’t think I’ve ever been so quickly satisfied by a shoot!” the director said, clapping his hands together and nodding at you both. “Excellent work. I think we can wrap up for the day. I’ll see you two here at the same time tomorrow!”
“Wow,” Yukimiya said as everyone started disassembling the set. “I thought you said he was strict.”
You shrugged as you walked over to the dressing rooms. “I thought he was.”
“Well, we probably shouldn’t complain,” he said. “Between this and practice, my schedule is booked. I have no space to be ungrateful about a little extra time.”
“Very true,” you said. “It’s always nice when things like this end sooner than anticipated. Better than later, anyways.”
The first thing you took off were those excuses for shoes, kicking them under the door for good measure and shoving your feet into a pair of fluffy slippers, wiggling your toes with a sigh. Peeling off every layer you had squeezed into for the sake of the director’s creative vision, you curled up on the bench in only your underwear, sipping on water through a metal straw and staring at the wall, hugging your knees to your chest, lost in thinking about nothing.
Only when you grew cold did you stand, pulling on a sweatshirt three sizes too large and sweatpants that puddled at your shoes, shielding you from the world as you trudged out of the dressing room, wanting to rub your eyes but knowing that you would smear makeup all over the backs of your hands. You settled instead for playing with the thread you had taped to the handle of your water bottle for exactly such an occasion, twirling the loose ends of the meticulous knots in between your fingers idly.
“Ah — L/N!” Yukimiya waved at you as you made your way towards the exit. Unaccustomed to further camaraderie after the end of the workday, you had to fight to keep your expression neutral, and when you noticed the man from earlier was at Yukimiya’s side, the lollipop long gone, you had to fight even harder.
“Is something the matter?” you said.
“No, nothing at all,” he said. “I just figured we might as well walk to the parking garage together, since it’s late and all.”
“I appreciate it,” you said. The studio you were at had only one security guard in its employ, a man that inspired pity more than fear, with a few strands of hair glued into a desperate attempt at a combover and a shirt that was far too thin to be considered professional, so you hadn’t even considered asking for an escort, figuring you would take your chances. Still, the thought of walking alone wasn’t the most appealing, and while you wouldn’t have asked for it yourself, you were glad Yukimiya had offered his company nonetheless.
“Oh! Karasu, this is Y/N L/N. L/N, this is Tabito Karasu,” Yukimiya said as you reached the door and the other man — Karasu — used one black-gloved hand to open it.
“Is he your bodyguard or something? Thank you,” you said, nodding at Karasu for holding the door.
“He wishes,” Karasu said. His voice was rough and deep and sounded like he was perpetually in on some private joke, but you didn’t mind it, not in the slightest. “I’m his roommate — the one with a car, by the way. And a driver’s license. And the time to pick his sorry ass up.”
“What he means is that he offered to stop by on his way home to get me,” Yukimiya said.
“That’s very generous of you,” you said. “Especially considering you were there even before Yukimiya was.”
“Don’t you think? It’s fine, now he owes me one,” Karasu said, his eyes glimmering. “And I intend to collect, of course.”
“He never does anything out of the goodness of his heart,” Yukimiya said with a long-suffering sigh. “You better be careful around him, L/N. Whatever he gives you, he’ll expect the same in return.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, though of course you had no intentions of ever being around Karasu in any way that mattered.
“We play soccer for the Japanese team, you know,” Karasu said. “You should come to one of our games, L/N. I’m sure some of our teammates would be delighted by that. Right, Yuki?”
Yukimiya sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “If you’re talking about Otoya and Aiku, then yes, but that’s not necessarily a good thing.”
“Not for her, it isn’t,” Karasu said. “For them, sure it is. But I wasn’t talking about those two, anyways.”
“Pardon?” you said.
“Ignore him,” Yukimiya said. “I don’t really know what he’s going on about.”
“It was nice meeting you,” Karasu said, picking up before Yukimiya on the fact that your steps had stuttered to a stop. “L/N, was it?”
He offered you his hand. You took it and shook, arching a brow at the firmness of his grip, which was much more in line with a businessman than a soccer player. 
“Yes,” you said. “Karasu? It was nice to meet you as well.”
“Don’t worry,” Yukimiya said, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “I’ll make my other roommate pick me up tomorrow.”
“Otoya?” Karasu said. “Good luck with that. He’ll be late to his own funeral, so don’t think you’re high on his priority list. The only time he comes early is—”
“Karasu,” Yukimiya interjected. “Don’t be crass.”
“Sure, sure,” he said. “See you around, L/N. Or maybe not.”
“See you,” you said, starting your car so that it wasn’t freezing when you got in, deciding it wouldn’t be polite to tack on a definitely not to the farewell and instead opting to stay silent.
“Bye, L/N,” Yukimiya said. “Until tomorrow.”
Although your apartment wasn’t large by any means, it wasn’t small, either, sitting at a comfortable medium that was paid for half by you and half by your brother, who was hardly ever home, anyways, but needed somewhere for his mail to be delivered. He was a free spirit, always traveling: for work, for fun, for women and wine, for anything his heart desired, which left you the entire space to yourself more often than not. People were jealous of you when they found out, but when you sat on the couch alone, a blanket pulled up around your shoulders and a bowl of salad held in between your knees, the television on only to ward away the silence that permeated the room, you wondered what they had to be jealous of.
The next day, you didn’t look for Karasu when you entered the studio, but you knew as you stepped in that he wasn’t there. There was something missing, the room a little brighter without him in the corner, waiting with an unmatched patience for Yukimiya to be done. Yukimiya must’ve made good on his threat, then, to call their other roommate to pick him up, although privately you wondered why he couldn’t just drive himself.
The shoot went even smoother the second day than it had the first, and it was a surprise the director didn’t fall to your feet and grovel at the speed with which you executed his vision. Yukimiya struck that perfect balance of workmanlike and personable, and you were content to play along with him, so all in all things moved with relative swiftness.
When you went to leave, you noticed that Yukimiya was standing by the door on his own, tapping his phone furiously. You were under no obligation to stop, but for some reason, you did, waiting awkwardly for a second before clearing your throat.
“Is everything alright?” you said. He startled, almost dropping his phone as he blinked at you.
“Yes! Yes, it’s fine, it’s just my roommate is a jerk, that’s all. Last night, he told me he was fine with picking me up, but now all of a sudden he’s busy,” he said with a scoff.
“Otoya, right?” you said. Yukimiya cocked his head.
“Yes, how’d you know?” he said.
“Karasu — your other roommate mentioned him yesterday,” you said, correcting yourself so that it didn’t seem like Karasu was someone you paid special attention to. Judging by Yukimiya’s expression, you didn’t think you had been entirely successful in the attempt, which was unlike you. You bit the tip of your tongue so that you didn’t say anything further, waiting for him to respond.
“Right,” he said.
“Why don’t you drive yourself?” you said, crossing your arms and standing beside him, facing the road as he was. 
“I can’t,” he said.
“You never learned?” you said. He shook his head, adjusting his glasses self-consciously.
“It’s not recommended I do,” he said. He didn’t elaborate further, but he didn’t have to; you recognized it wasn’t your place and hummed in acknowledgement.
“If you want, I don’t mind taking you,” you said. You didn’t know where Yukimiya lived — for all you knew, it was across the city entirely — but it didn’t hurt to extend your hand like that, especially because you had a sense that he wouldn’t even accept it.
“It’s alright,” Yukimiya said. “Karasu said he’s on his way, since last he checked, Otoya’s in the shower now, for some reason.”
“Oh,” you said. “That’s kind of him.”
“Kind?” Yukimiya said, and then to your surprise, he laughed. “I wish I knew as little about him as you do.”
“Is he a bad person?” you said.
“Not at all,” Yukimiya said. “He’s great. He’s one of my best friends, in fact; it’s just that kind and Karasu rarely if ever go together in the same sentence.”
“How can someone be your best friend if you don’t even think they’re kind?” you said, intrigued by the puzzle Yukimiya had presented you with. The way he spoke of Karasu, it was as if he were some willful spirit that occasionally deigned to lend his aid to those who could bring him some benefit, but the way the two of them treated one another didn’t seem anything like that.
“I don’t know,” Yukimiya said. “If you knew him better, I wouldn’t have to explain this. He’s a hard person to understand, and just when you think you’ve finally got it, he goes and complicates things further.”
“That sounds exhausting,” you said.
“That’s the strangest thing about it all,” Yukimiya said as a car pulled up in front of you both, the hazard lights turning on. “With him, it’s entirely natural.”
Karasu stepped out of the driver’s side, shutting it behind him and joining the two of you on the curb, grinning at Yukimiya in a way that almost felt mocking.
“Told you Otoya wasn’t to be trusted,” he said. “You’re paying for dinner.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Yukimiya said, tossing his bag at Karasu, who caught it without flinching. “Put this in for me.”
“Whatever you say,” Karasu said, opening the back door of the car and throwing the bag onto the floor before slamming it shut and patting the handle for good measure. “Is that everything, your royal highness?”
“Yes,” Yukimiya said. “I’m going to kill Otoya when we get back.”
“Hm,” Karasu said. “Violent.”
“He deserves it,” Yukimiya said. “Bye, L/N. Thanks for waiting with me.”
“It’s not an issue,” you said, especially because you hadn’t done it on purpose, and even if you had, it hadn’t been for him. “I’m glad everything worked out.”
You wanted to say something more, something to Karasu in particular, but you didn’t know what or how. It wasn’t like you knew him — not a little and not at all, as Yukimiya had pointed out, and indeed you had no reason to speak to him in the first place. He wasn’t anything but your coworker’s roommate, so what did he mean to you?
Yukimiya shut his door with a hurried apology about the cold, and then it was just you and Karasu on the curb, and you couldn’t tell why, but the way he looked at you made you think he could hear every thought which was racing through your mind. 
“Yukimiya’s right. It’s cold out,” he said. “You should go home now.”
“I’m just about to,” you said.
“Are you?” he said. 
“Why are you questioning that?” you said, surprisingly affronted, although he hadn’t said anything insulting. “Of course I am. It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.”
“I’m not questioning anything,” he said. “Drive safely.”
“Wait,” you said. “Will you be here tomorrow?”
“Would you prefer it if I am?” he said.
“I’d prefer it if you answered my questions instead of coming up with more of your own,” you said, which you thought would be met with shock — after all, it was a rare thing that you broke character and said anything that could be perceived as cutting — but was instead received with a snicker.
“Yes,” he said. “I’ll be here tomorrow. Early, if that’s what you want.”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” you said. “Do what you’d like.”
“I think that I will,” he said, and then Yukimiya was rolling down the window, telling him to hurry up, damnit, so he left you behind without another word, the car’s engine purring as they drove away.
You must’ve looked like such a fool the next morning, the final of the shoot, your eyes immediately going to the corner where Karasu had been that first day. It was empty, and despite yourself, your shoulders slumped when you realized that he wasn’t there, which was enough for you to break out of that strange trance. Why had you even hoped in the first place? He had made no indication that he was going to come, and you were old enough to know that hoping and wishing were certain paths to disappointment.
“Do you want me to take you back tonight?” you asked Yukimiya, sitting in a chair beside him as you waited for the director to come. It was a clumsy and roundabout way of getting to what you actually wanted out of him, but the last thing you could do was tell him the truth. What would he say, if he knew why you were actually offering? What would he think of you then?
“Hm? No, it’s fine, Karasu’s already got it. He’s at the gym with Shidou — er, another teammate of ours — right now, but he’ll be done before we are, and the studio’s closer to the gym than our apartment is, so he told me it wouldn’t be any extra trouble,” he said, and you thought he must’ve added those extra details for the sole purpose of seeing what your response to them would be, but then you remembered that Yukimiya wasn’t that kind of person. He was just telling you as a way to fill the time, not to get one over you or anything like that.
“That’s good,” you said. “Convenient.”
“Yup,” Yukimiya said. “My agent told me we’d be doing individual photos today.”
“Huh?” you said. “Oh, right. Yes, I think that’s the case.”
“That’s a shame. I enjoyed working with you,” he said.
“Me, too,” you said, and unlike most times, you weren’t lying when you did. “I’m sure we’ll meet again soon, though. There’s not so many of us our age.”
“True,” he said. “It’s a given.”
“Exactly,” you said.
“Yukimiya! You’re up first!” the director shouted, entering as he always did — like a whirlwind, leaving papers scattered and assistants flustered in his wake. 
“That’s my cue,” Yukimiya said with a long-suffering sigh.
“Good luck,” you said, glad that it wasn’t your turn just yet. The shoes you were meant to wear sat innocently before you, about two feet away, and although it was impossible for inanimate objects to be snide, they were quite close to it, glaring at you with their bejeweled straps and their impossible tall heels, tittering between themselves at the thought of the cuts already forming on your ankles, the bandages you’d have to remove in order for those terrors to slide on without fuss.
You set your water bottle on the armrest of your chair, taking up the thread and crossing it over itself in the patterns you had been taught in elementary school. You didn’t have anyone to tie these bracelets around, and you couldn’t wear them yourself, for they’d be cut away almost immediately, but the repetitive motions soothed your mind, distracting you from the red soaking through your white socks.
“L/N!” the director screamed, even though you were sitting right there and could hear him perfectly fine. “Put your damn shoes on and get the hell up here!”
Without Yukimiya there to soften the blow, you were the direct target of all of his anger. Swallowing back every emotion you had ever felt and would ever feel, you bent over and began to rip the nude-colored band-aids, stained rusty at the edges, off. Balling them up and throwing them in the trash, you stood on aching soles and pulled the shoes on, one after another, clenching your teeth and taking off your sweater so that you could waltz over to where the cameras were trained.
“Took you long enough,” the director groused. 
“Yes, sir,” you said. “How should I stand?”
“Just put your hands there, and your one leg there,” the director said vaguely, waving his arms about before striking what must’ve been an approximation of the pose he wanted you to take. You did your best to copy it, and the cameras went off, your vision temporarily fleeing and then coming back in spots as the lights faded. “No!”
“No?” you said.
“That’s all wrong! It’s horrible, horrible — you’re not even trying to do what I asked!” he said. “Yukimiya could do it, so why can’t you? Just do this!”
He did the same thing again. You weren’t sure what else you could adjust, but you moved slightly, twisting your torso at a different angle and smiling without your teeth this time. He grunted and motioned for the cameras to go again, but after a few more photos, he groaned, dragging his face over his hands.
“This is horrendous! You look entirely stiff and posed. It’s like you're a mannequin!” he said.
“I don’t — I’m not — what should I fix?” you said, unable to stop nerves from creeping into your voice and jostling it about. As difficult as he was to work with, you knew that the director was a big name in the industry, and if he only had bad things to say about you, then your entire livelihood would be threatened.
“Ugh!” he said, stomping onto the set and grabbing your arm, wrenching it down so hard you were surprised it didn’t dislocate. You chewed on the frayed flesh of the inside of your cheek to keep from yelping, allowing yourself to be pliable as he dragged your leg forward into what he wanted from you. “It’s like you’re a completely different person today! Just disappointing.”
Whatever position he had coerced you into was nothing like the one he had wanted you to imitate, but you refrained from pointing that out, holding it in place while the photographers adjusted their lenses. It was uncomfortable and made the lace lining your collar dig into your throat even more, but at least that served as a reminder for you to be silent.
“That’s enough,” the director said, massaging his temples. “We’re not getting anything more out of you.”
“What?” you said, standing normally, tired of contorting yourself for the impossible-to-please man. “What do you mean?”
“You’re lifeless. I don’t know how you managed to fool me yesterday and the day before, but I see it now. Honestly, if it weren’t for the concerning accusations I’d face, I’d just dig up a grave and pay the families half the royalties. It’d be a cheaper and better performance than whatever you’re giving me,” he said.
“What?” you said again, shame pouring over you, cold in a way that was closer to heat, ringing in your ears and coating your tongue. You couldn’t think of another response, any other way to defend yourself. If he was saying it, then it really was the truth. You swallowed, about to bow your head and shuffle off of the set for good, but then, like a bird in your peripheral vision, you noticed someone standing in the corner.
It was Karasu, and he was muffling a laugh. When he noticed you were looking at him, he dropped his hand from in front of his mouth and jerked his head towards the director, mouthing something that looked suspiciously like get a load of this guy. Your eyes widened, and then you, too, were fighting back a giggle, because you were so tired of the entire charade and your feet hurt and you wanted to go home and sleep for a few hours but this director, this stupid fucking director, couldn’t make up his mind about what he wanted from you. And now your career was ruined and you’d go back to waiting tables and Karasu was standing there, which was ridiculous, because where had even come from? But, then again, did it matter? Because the most amazing thing of all was that he was laughing. The situation was horrible and he was laughing as if it was the most entertaining moment of his life.
“There!”
You cringed as the cameras went off in quick succession, but they were faster than you, and you knew for sure they had caught you before you had cowered away. The director stroked his chin, and then, to your surprise, clicked his tongue in approval.
“Well done,” he said. “That’s the kind of genuine appeal I was looking for. If you can bring more of that to the table, then anyone would be happy to have you.”
You frowned, his sudden switch in mood giving you whiplash. Only seconds earlier, he had been berating you, and now he was praising you? You couldn’t understand what had brought about the change, but you were at least quick enough to not question it. 
“Thank you,” you said. “I appreciate the advice. And the opportunity to work with you.”
“I’ll hire you again,” he said, which sounded as much like a threat as it did a promise. “We’ll bring it out of you. Now that I know what you’re capable of, I won’t rest until I’ve perfected it in the way only I can.”
The thought of being perfected by him, molded and shaped and honed, was the most unappealing you had had in a while. You could imagine him tugging your limbs out of their sockets, rearranging them at his leisure, slicing gashes into your skin so that his clothes and accessories sat better, smoother, without unappealing wrinkles or reflections marring their surfaces.
“Thank you,” you said once more. “It’s an honor.”
“Are you alright?” Yukimiya said when you wobbled over to where your shoes and clothes were strewn about. 
“I’m fine,” you said, but you weren’t looking at him. Your distracted eyes were following Karasu as he left the studio, your eyebrows knitting together as you tried to ascertain what the point of him even coming inside had been, if he was going to leave without you — without Yukimiya. 
He didn’t come for you, a voice in the back of your head, sounding eerily similar to the director’s, said. He came to pick up his roommate, just like he promised he would.
“I can’t believe he chose you as his favorite. Maybe you’ll be his muse for the next few years!” Yukimiya said. The director was known for picking one model to fixate on for an extended period of time. His every project revolved around them, and they were catapulted into unprecedented stardom under his guiding hand, staying there until their retirement. It was everyone’s dream, and you should’ve been happy at the prospect of being next in that line, but when you beamed at Yukimiya, it was fake, the muscles in your mouth straining at the unnatural position you were putting them into.
“Who knows?” you said. “I don’t want to rely on it. It’s not a guarantee.”
“Smart idea,” he said, scrunching up his face. “I’m sorry. I’m used to soccer more than all of this. Everyone’s very…full of themselves.”
“You’re not full of yourself,” you said, shutting the door of your dressing room behind you and calling through it as you changed, hoping to delay him even slightly.
“You’ve never seen me on the field,” he said. “There, everyone’s different. You have to be, if you want to live. Ego’s a form of survival out there.”
“Doesn’t sound much different than modeling,” you said.
“A little different,” he said. “People here are just vain. That’s not the same.”
You hadn’t ever gotten changed so quickly, but in record time, you were swinging your bag over your shoulder and rejoining Yukimiya, who seemed as surprised as you were that you had finished so quickly. After all, you had a bit of a reputation for…sulking? Brooding? You weren’t sure what word they were using for it nowadays, but regardless, your proclivity for sitting in your dressing room in silence was well-known, as much a part of your character as it was a habit. 
“You’re not wrong about that,” you said. “But vanity’s a necessary evil, I think. If you want to succeed.”
“Er, right,” he said, standing in place like he was unsure of how to react. “I suppose so.”
When you did not halt but instead kept moving towards the exit, he straightened and hurried after you. You weren’t going very fast, and his strides were so long that he caught up with you before you could even brace for the biting wind that rushed in as soon as you opened the door. The two of you went along in silence, Yukimiya obviously befuddled why you were still with him but too polite to say anything about it, and it was only when you reached the entrance to the parking garage, where a familiar car was waiting, that you allowed yourself to smile.
“Man, talk about an asshole,” Karasu said, stretching like a cat as he got out of the still-running sedan. “That director is a piece of work.”
“Karasu!” Yukimiya reprimanded, which got him nothing but a sly smile from the man in question. “He’s our boss. We can’t say stuff like that about him.”
“He’s your boss,” Karasu corrected. “So you can’t say stuff like that. I can say whatever I want.”
“You’re going to get me fired,” Yukimiya said. “It’s a good thing I have soccer to fall back on, or else I’d be in trouble.”
“Go sit in the car, then, if you want to stay blameless,” Karasu said.  
“I will! And you better not bother poor L/N. I don’t want her to have a bad opinion of all of us just because of you,” Yukimiya said, jabbing his finger at Karasu, who raised his hands in the air innocently.
Today, he wore a white windbreaker over a grey shirt, and because he was not wearing gloves, you could see that there were calluses on his palms, standing out pale at the seams of his fingers. You weren’t used to seeing calluses on anyone, not when the few people you met on a semi-regular basis took such diligent measures to prevent them, but now that you were faced with them sans demonization, you found their roughness was warm and friendly, not hideous.
“He was pretty bad,” you mumbled as soon as Yukimiya had shut himself away in the car. 
“Yuki, or the director?” Karasu said.
“Don’t be horrible,” you said. “You know who I’m talking about.”
“I can’t believe he compared you to a dead body,” Karasu said.
“That’s not the worst I’ve gotten,” you said. “It took me by surprise because things had been going so well until then, but he was relatively tame, all things considered.”
“Really?” Karasu said. 
“Yes,” you said, dropping your voice to a murmur in case anyone was around, not wanting to give yourself a reputation as a whiner. “Once, someone asked me if my mother was a fish, because there was no other explanation for how I was flopping around.”
“That’s rude,” he said.
“It was!” you said. No one had ever listened to you before, least of all with such a benign expression on their face, and you were so starved of it that you could not contain yourself any longer. “Especially because I was standing still, not flopping around or whatever. Honestly, I wanted to ask him if his mother was a fish, because you know what? There was no other explanation for how he smelled!”
“Horrid!” Karasu said, beaming at you. “You should’ve.”
“Oh, no, no, I couldn’t. I shouldn’t even have said it to you,” you said, shaking your head and pressing your hands over your mouth, unsure of any other method of stopping yourself that would be nearly as effective. 
“But you did,” he said, zipping up his jacket in a swift movement. “I’ll think of something about myself to tell you in return. Give me a day or two.”
“That’s not why I did that,” you protested. “And we don’t have a day or two, anyways, so you’ll have to do it now or never again.”
“Sure we do,” he said. “We live in the same city, don’t we? I bet our paths will cross. Where do you go grocery shopping?”
“Grocery shopping?” you said.
“Karasu! You’re low on gas!” Yukimiya said, rolling down his window. 
“I go to the place across from the park on South 18th Street. Every Thursday after practice,” Karasu said. “Meet all sorts of people there. Never know who I’m going to run into.”
You could picture exactly the store he was talking about; it wasn’t where you typically went, but sometimes, if you were running low on something hard to find, you’d walk the extra few blocks. It was much bigger than the one close to your apartment, after all, and suddenly you wondered if you had seen Karasu there before, if you had seen him ten or twenty times and just not noticed.
“When do you finish practice?” you said, right before he got into his car. 
“Lunchtime,” he said. “I’m hungry more often than not.”
“It’s not good to shop for food when you’re hungry,” you said.
“Then I’ll have to do something about it before I do,” he said. “Well, it depends. Only if I have good company.”
You didn’t realize until you were halfway home what he meant by that, and by then it was too late for you to change your mind — not that you would’ve. Not that you needed to. He wasn’t holding you to anything, even though you knew as well as he did that you would be there; still, ultimately it was your decision. Your choice. 
That was a strange characteristic of his, one that Yukimiya hadn’t mentioned. Karasu didn’t ask for things; he didn’t command them, either. He only made suggestions, nudging you along until you reached the destination that he wanted you to arrive at. You had never met a person quite so adept at it, at presenting choices and questions as disguises for inevitabilities, at guiding people’s thoughts so precisely. It would’ve been unsettling coming from anyone else, but from him, it was natural. It was how he operated. Who were you to chafe at it when that was simply who he was?
The grocery store was large, but they never changed their layout, so you knew where everything was familiarly and without checking the signs. You didn’t have anything to shop for, so you decided to wander the aisles, thinking that if something caught your eye, you’d buy it without further consideration.
You found yourself staring at a bag of oranges, a bright red 50% Off! sticker slapped right on the netted packaging. Swallowing, you reached for it, but before you could, someone snatched them away, holding them in the air teasingly.
“I thought you shouldn’t shop for food when you’re hungry,” Karasu said. “And might I add, what a coincidence it is, seeing you here!”
“I’m not hungry,” you said, taking the oranges back and holding them to your chest protectively. “And I wasn’t looking for you.”
“I didn’t say that you were,” he said. “I distinctly recall saying that it was a coincidence we even met, in fact. Anyways, maybe you’re not hungry, but I am, so I should be off. Meals to eat, shopping lists to plan…it’s a busy life I have.”
“Sounds mundane,” you said. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “You’re right. That reminds me! Before I go, what is it that should I tell you?”
You couldn’t deny that that was the real reason for why you had come to the grocery store — what was he going to reveal? For as much as he knew about you, you knew frighteningly little about him, and now that you were faced with a chance to learn what kind of person he really was, you didn’t want to let it leave your grasp.
“Whatever you want,” you said. He plucked the oranges from your grasp again, and before you could complain, set them at the bottom of the small basket he held in his arms.
“How about this? I knew you were going to go for the oranges,” he said.
“How?” you said.
His eyes sparkled as he leaned closer to you, and you suddenly remembered Yukimiya’s warnings. Whatever you thought you knew about Karasu, it was likely only half or maybe a quarter the truth. Really, he was shifting and cunning, a fox and a crow, far from comprehension, not a danger but not kind, either.
“I’ll answer if you tell me something else about yourself,” he said.
“Why are you acting like I’m entering some kind of contract with a devil?” you said.
“I’m not a devil,” he said. “Just Karasu. My teammates think I’m a great guy, if the recommendation sets you at ease.”
“It sounds more like you’re trying to blackmail me,” you said. He shook his head.
“Couldn’t it be said that you’re doing the same? You’re asking questions about me and expecting that I answer when you have no intentions of reciprocating,” he said. 
You pouted, because when he put it like that, he wasn’t wrong, and it wasn’t that you didn’t trust him — because you did. You trusted him more than you should’ve, considering how guarded you had learned to become.
“I have an older brother,” you said. “He’s overseas right now. I don’t think he’ll be back for a while.”
“I have an older sister,” Karasu said. “Maybe they know each other.”
“Probably don’t,” you said. “Also, you didn’t answer my question.”
“I guess I didn’t,” he said, reaching around you to take two boxes of cereal off of a shelf. “Try again.”
“My parents didn’t want me to be a model,” you said. “They thought I should be a teacher. I’m good at it. Children like me.”
“I was going to go into investment banking,” he said. “Or consulting. One of those such fields. Maybe I still will, but soccer is fine for now.”
This was a game for him, you realized. Like tennis, but better, and so, instead of being irritated, you decided you might as well indulge it. It had been so long, anyways, since the last time you had spoken to someone freely, without concern for what they might spread about you, whose ears they would whisper your secrets in just to get one or two steps ahead.
“I threw a dress at a designer’s face once,” you said. “He didn’t like the shade of lipstick I was wearing, even though he was the one that picked it. The only reason my reputation wasn’t ruined was because he ended up liking the way the lipstick turned up digitally and promised not to say anything about it if I allowed them to use my photos after all.”
Karasu laughed, opening the doors to the fridge and taking out milk, stacking it neatly in the basket. You weren’t sure when the two of you had begun shopping in earnest, but it seemed he had forgotten about his plans to eat lunch. 
“In high school, my teammate pissed me off, so I made sure to shove him around extra when we tried out for a nearby youth team. It made him look so inept that he didn’t make the cut,” he said, taking an abandoned cart and depositing his things in it, motioning for you to put your purse in as well.
“That’s mean!” you said, but it was hard to disguise the fact that you, too, were laughing. “You’re mean.”
“His fault. He should’ve played better, anyways,” Karasu said. “I had been helping his sorry ass out for too long. He would’ve been cut regardless. You could say I just…expedited the process.”
“I’m the only one in my family who still wishes my brother happy birthday,” you said. “He’s a disappointment in everyone else’s eyes, but he lets me live with him and pays his share of the bills, so how can I disown him?”
“Between the two of us, my sister is the perfect one, so I’m afraid I can’t relate. Vanilla or hazelnut?” he said without skipping a beat. Before you could even answer, he face-palmed. “Oh, wait, Otoya hates hazelnut. I’ll get that so he doesn’t mistake it for his own.”
“I used to be a waitress,” you said. “Before I was a model. It was a lot less glamorous of a career. I don’t think my feet ever recovered from it.”
“I’m sure those shoes that you were forced into for your last job didn’t help any,” he said. “They looked inhumane.”
“They were,” you said, your ankles panging at the reminder, still inflamed and angry as they were. “Though I think anyone would’ve suffered with them on. I doubt the designer had human anatomy in mind when making them; I haven’t bled like that in a while.”
“They made you bleed?” he said. You hummed.
“Yeah,” you said, seeing no point in lying. Who would he tell? Who would even believe him? “Fashion over function, right? It was only for a few photos. They’ll be healed so quickly I’ll forget I had them in the first place. Enough about me, though. Tell me something else about yourself.”
“I sprained my wrist playing soccer as a kid,” he said. “It was a long time ago, but even now, I can feel it when it rains.”
He still hadn’t answered your original question, and you didn’t think he would, not until you offered him something of equal or greater value. But what did you have like that? What aspect of your silly life held enough weight that it would make someone like Karasu, always so ready with his wit and his charm, willing to part with something he clearly deemed to be a secret?
“I’m lonely,” you said, turning away from him, pretending to be fascinated with comparing two different brands of yogurt, neither of which you would buy. “You’ll laugh, but I think this is the longest conversation I’ve had with someone outside of work since my brother last came home. It’s nice, surprisingly. Talking to you and all. I like it.”
Or maybe you just liked him. You couldn’t really separate the two. Either way, it remained that ever since you had met Karasu, you could not conceive of a time when you had not known him, a time when you had gone home to your empty apartment and watched your empty shows and eaten your empty salads and thought you were satisfied by it all. You doubted he knew he had this effect, and you certainly wouldn’t be the one to tell him — after all, he’d probably be frightened if he found out that you had, in such a short time, grown so attached to him and his games and his conduct.
“The oranges,” he said. “You tried to buy them the first time I saw you.”
“What?” you said. Now it was his turn to avert his eyes and yours to watch him in fascination, finding it far easier to stomach a secret than to spit it out.
“It was a long time ago, but it was definitely you,” he said. “It was a Thursday, and I was just coming back from practice; this grocery store is far from my apartment but close enough to the field that, when Otoya — he was sick, so he had skipped that day — texted me that we were out of bread, I decided I’d make the detour. I wasn’t planning on staying here long, but right when I was about to leave, I saw you. You only had a packet of instant noodles and a bag of oranges in your hands. They were on sale back then, too, but—”
“But I had to put them back,” you finished for him, remembering that day as well as he did, albeit not his role. “Because I didn’t have enough money to get them, even when they were 50% off.”
“Yes,” he said. “I left before you noticed me, but I always — I always wish I hadn’t. I kept making the trip here, doing my shopping every Thursday at the same time until it became ingrained in me like routine, and I told myself if I ever saw you again, I’d buy them for you.”
“I can buy my own oranges now,” you said.
“I know,” he said. “That wasn’t the only reason I came back each week.”
“Why else?” you said.
“Well,” he said. “I can’t just tell you everything in one go like that, can I?”
You scoffed. “You can.”
“But I won’t,” he said.
“But you won’t,” you said with a sigh. “Anyways. So you knew me even before we met?”
“I knew of you,” he corrected you. “Though not as a model. Just as an absurdly beautiful girl I saw in a supermarket once and thought about occasionally.”
“So it was a coincidence that you happened to be at that shoot?” you said, raising an eyebrow at him.
“When Yukimiya told us about the girl he’d be working with, Otoya looked you up,” he said. “And despite how long it had been since you last crossed my mind as well as how much longer it had been since the only time I saw you in the flesh, I recognized you immediately.”
“You have a good memory,” you said.
“So I’ve been told,” he said. “I didn’t go with any strange intentions, if you’re wondering. I only wanted to know what kind of person you actually were.”
He wasn’t a typical admirer, taken with your celebrity or your status. He was curious, not about Y/N L/N the model, but you, the girl he nearly met in a grocery store so long ago it was all but inconsequential. You wondered what it said about you that instead of being wary, you only felt all the more inclined to reveal yourself to him. You wondered if this was some lack of self-preservation, as your brother would declare it, or if this was an innate knowledge, an instinctual understanding that the man before you was different.
Maybe he was or maybe he wasn’t. You didn’t know, and maybe, on some level, you didn’t care. Taking his hand, you set it on the bag of oranges, placing your own atop it firmly, your thumb tracing his scratched knuckles.
“Buy them for me,” you said. “And I’ll tell you who I am, plainly and without fuss.”
“Is that what you consider a good deal?” he said. “I’d say you’re a bit more valuable than a discount bag of oranges.”
“Do you think so?” you said. “Fine, then. The oranges, and a pack of instant noodles.”
“Closer,” he said. “But I’m a fair person. I can’t accept.”
“You,” you said, all in a rush. “The oranges, the noodles, and you. That’s my final offer. I’ll give you everything if you give me that much.”
He didn’t even pretend to consider it. You thought that it must’ve been what he was waiting for all along, what he had been, in that way of his, leading you towards.
“You’re a tough bargainer,” he said.
“So you agree to it?” you said.
“Sure,” he said, and when he noticed your face falling at the noncommittal nature of his acceptance, he laughed. “Yes. Yes, yes, I agree. The oranges, the noodles, and me; you can have all three as you please.”
And it was odd, but just for a moment, the reprieve lasting only for as long as his breathy chuckle, your feet ceased to ache.
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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 8 months ago
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Fury for the Living (1) | Yandere Ghost Detective
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Cypher is a prodigy detective 
Officially on the police force now he’s been a raging force for unraveling piles of cold cases across the country
He was truly a talented man
Alas aspiring detectives and veterans in the field can only speculate what gives him such amazing insight in every case
They’d never guess what the ace up his sleeve is 
One of the sole factors other than his prodigious charm that made him the amazing detective he was
He could see ghosts
Apparitions, yokais, curses—you name it
Thanks to their undead input Cypher’s been able to piece together a case with nothing but a single clue
It’s his thing
It didn’t matter if he wasn’t exactly moved by justice
Or that he often hated that he had to speak with ghosts often
There was nowhere he could really go that didn’t have ghosts and the undead chatting and whining in his ear
Except for one place
An abandoned and rotted mansion in a restricted area in the forest
Or it was 
Until he found you
“Hm, I didn’t know anyone was still coming here.”
He outwardly groaned, facepalming as he prepared for your desperate plea to be help with their ‘unfinished business’
But you didn’t 
You smiled at him before skipping back up the stairs and through the wall
For a while, he’s just glad you didn’t bother him longer going back to reading his book
But then he’s pulling at his hair as the feeling he’s been ignoring hits him full force
“So what happened to you?”
“Huh?”
“Tch, look I’ve been comin’ here every day and you never say a word. I’m tired of you being polite. Just tell me already.”
“I…actually don’t know…”
“What.” 
“I just remember waking up and being….free. I don’t remember much else.”
It isn’t odd that the undead don’t remember
But not caring about it is another
For once he’s intrigued, so after a while he pries a first name out of you 
Then he begins his search 
Finding all the records about your life or death is completely scrubbed
“I don’t know that’s awfully weird ain't it?”
Similar to him, the prodigy police chief has no idea as well
Thus a weird bud of excitement blooms 
“I’m going to solve your case!”
“Uh okay, if that makes you happy.”
So he visits so much more often 
Having to talk to you about your past 
A past you don’t remember
So he elects to bring whatever he thinks might interest you
Along with taking note of what’s in the dilapidated manor
Rotten books, old gaming systems, some form of music, paints and pens
He gets to know you pretty well
“I think Cypher if I were alive again, I’d love to spend time with you.”
“...Really?”
“Yeah, you’re a real good friend.”
You have no idea what you do to him
He thought this newfound investigation would consume his mind like all good detectives had
But instead, he was thinking of you
Standing and walking beside him like you weren’t a ghost
Cutely tilting your head when he makes a joke you don’t understand
It sends blood rushing in places it hadn’t when he found out you could touch him
Casually tapping on his exposed shoulder to reveal a secret passageway
He used to complain to himself about how far he’d have to walk to get to his little place of paradise
But now he was complaining when the station was calling him in
“Hey (Y/n)...have you ever tried leaving the manor?”
“Mmm no.”
“Why not?”
“Never a reason to.”
“Then let’s try something new.”
He’s ecstatic when you can follow him into his car and eventually his apartment
But then he’s reminded of all the annoying nuisances that he was trying to avoid
“Hey everyone! Cypher’s all pooped out maybe we can give him a break?”
As if you were an exorcist all those ghosts seemed to understand 
Letting you organize them in the room over while Cypher locks himself into the bedroom
“You’re….amazing.”
“Oh thank you? I think you’re amazing too Cypher.”
“I don’t think you understand (Y/n)...I desperately want to marry you.”
“But Cypher you know I’m dead, right?”
“I can easily change that to be with you.”
“Cypher don’t!” 
Now he’s got to fight himself about solving this case
If he gets to the bottom of your death, he’d lose you
So he might stall a bit 
At least until he finds a small bit of evidence pointing to your death from a murder
“You were…murdered?!”
“Was I? That sucks.”
You’re right it sucks
And now Cypher’s motivated with one thing
Revenge
How dare some dirtbag kill you before he got to meet you?!
Put you in any amount of pain when you so easily are the light of his?! 
He vows that whosever is the cause of your death will pay greatly 
And he’s willing to put everything on the line to solve your case
I think I smell a series coming out of this 🖤🖤🖤🖤
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rain-soaked-sun · 5 days ago
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To hold him close
Cw: Sunday x reader fluff, religious imagery,thoughts of self doubt, hurt/comfort . Their bedroom has a private dressing you off the side, connecting to their bathroom WK 650 Gn , please let me know if I mention gender!
⊹︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⊹
Sunday often wonders how someone as pure as you can stand or even love a sinner such as him
It will continue to boggle him for the rest of his days. He will never understand your patience for him. He can't see you all the time because of his work, his odd habits make it hard for even the most understanding people to take. He can be snappy at you for no reason ,and yet, you love him all the same
He sees himself as an undeserving devotee in your presence, constantly gifted by his god, you. Vying for your continued love and praise as undeserving it is, doing all he can to make you never leave , to reassure you that your love isn't misplaced. Perhaps it stems from his upbringing that he had to work hard to earn your approval and love. Though,you would give it out to him for free
It's not like you would ever leave, you don't understand his feeling that he doesn't deserve love like anyone else. You treasure him more than the stars in the sky,and sometimes he understands that , one day he will never question your loyalty again but for now you will remind him as much as you have to
“My dove? Are you in your dressing room?” Sunday called from your bedroom. You chirped a response before he entered .
“Ah,there you are “, he leaned over you slightly, his hands resting on your shoulders, idly rubbing circles into them. He stared at the reflection of you two in the vanity bathroom briefly before pressing his head into the crook of neck and pressed featherlight kisses down to your shoulder
You recognized his patterns by now, you recognized the stiff rigid twitches of his wings. you could see the fatigue lying behind his smile, the circles under his eyes . You worried for him as any lover would and made up your mind to take care of him. Even for the night it would do him good to relax
“Sunday?” You said softly, a soothing hand running through his hair,”Hm? What is it?” His face still buried in your neck.
“When was the last time you got to truly relax, you seem so tired. I worry for you, you know this. Don't you?”You felt a faint smile against your skin,”Don't fret over me, I'm fine I promise you. It's just a little extra work-” he looked up from your neck and could see your face, he hated that expression, it seems he could never lie to you. He huffed lightly,his shoulders sagging ,”It will be done soon , please don't look so upset , it hurts my heart. What can I do?”
“It's not what you can do for me Sunday. You give too much to everyone else and have nothing left for yourself , you work yourself till you're dead tired , like now.” You looked directly at him now, he felt seen under your gaze, how could you read him so well he always wondered. “Let me take care of you, please?”
“That's not necessary-” You silenced him with a kiss. He melted into your lips and he knew you had won , he would fall into your embrace for tonight and go work again tomorrow , he assured himself You pulled back with a satisfied smile ,”Come , first you will change into something comfortable, and then we will relax in bed for the rest of the night, perhaps have a maid bring us some food?” You said fondly , getting up from the vanity chair and led him out of the small dressing room into the main suite
“Whatever you say my dear I will do . You ask for the maid and tell her I would like some filled puffs and whatever you want, and I will change . Is that alright? " He said with a lazy smile, affection lining every word .
“That would be perfect”
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velvetydream · 8 months ago
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꒰ :🥊 [ Rocky ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯
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Summary : Your boyfriend loved to take you to his matches, saying you were his little good luck charm, yet you're always worried to the core watching him fight.
Pairing : Boxer! Mingi x GN! Reader
Word count : 1.7K Words
Genre : Romance , Fluff, Angst
   Warnings ➵ Boxing, Blood, Injuries, talk
about marriage and having
children (still GN! Reader)
a/n : I have no clue of how boxing works, but Rocky goes hard so I had to write a Boxer Mingi story!🤧💕
┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡
Mingi called you his little good luck charm, while it was an endearing name to be called, you hated it. Because it would end up with him hurt in some way or another. The boxing matches you watched, even when being his lucky charm and he wins, he was hurt. Busted lip, cut eyebrow, sometimes even a black eye. Many bruises all over his body. You hated it and he knew.
"You'll be there Saturday right?" Mingi looks up at you from the table, it was a calm morning so far.. till he had to bring up his next match. Even thinking about his upcoming matches makes your stomach turn, making you nauseous. "I don't know, I might have to work or something." Your back was turned to him as you were flipping the pancakes in front of you. The grip on the handle made your knuckles turn white, until Mingi stood behind you, his hand softly gliding over yours and making you loosen your grip. "You said you're free, you know how important it is for me that you're there." Of course, you knew, you were his little lucky charm, his motivation, the love of his life. Yet it was hard to watch him get hurt over and over again, fearing that someday he would get hurt drastically with irreparable damage to himself.
"Of course, I know that, but you also know I don't like seeing you get hurt! Mingi we've been over this countless times already." Pulling your hand away from his now, you turn the stove off, pushing the pan to a cold place before turning away and walking to the living room, your tall boyfriend following you shortly. "I barely ever get hurt! It's nothing serious!" He was getting irritated with you, just as you were getting annoyed with him. Mingi just won't understand. He won't get it into his thick stubborn head. "Yeah till now! What if one day you get hurt badly?! Paralyzed?! Do you want that? Mingi I'm worried sick every time I watch you!" Tears were building up in your eyes as you finally looked at him. He was visibly taken back by your outburst, he knew you were worried but that it was hurting and bothering you so much? He didn't think about that.
"Hey.. I'm sorry babe, come here.. Please." His hand reaches out to you, softly grabbing your wrist and pulling you against his chest, tears flowing down your cheeks now with soft sobs. Mingi felt torn, he loved boxing, and it was his passion, a way to make money besides his small barely paying job as a waiter. Yet here you were crying in his arms because you were scared to the core for him. The amount of anxiety he must've put you through with each fight he made you watch. Yet you always sat tight, smiled, cheered, and celebrated for and with him. "I should've thought about your feelings earlier, I'm sorry.." Pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, he cradles you against him, your hands balled to fists holding onto the sleeping shirt he was still in.
Mingi was overcome with guilt and also contemplation.. you did have a point. What if someday he took it too far? One wrongly placed hit and it could be over for him and his body. He would never be able to marry you, have children, or grow old with you. Those thoughts made him scared and even question his own choices about boxing. He would definitely have to talk to Yunho about this later at the training. But for now, he had to pamper you, make you smile again, and stop those tears running down your face.
"Pretty, let's watch a movie and cuddle hm? I'll finish the pancakes and you get changed into that sweater of mine you love so much~" Nodding softly, your fist rubbing over your puffy red eyes, before disappearing up the stairs to your and Mingi's shared room, searching for the sweater you loved to steal oh so often. Yet he never gifted it to you, saying it wouldn't feel the same if you owned it and didn't steal it from him anymore. Back in the living room Mingi already prepared two plates with pancakes, arranged just how you like them, some fruits, and just the perfect amount of syrup. "Thanks, Mingi.." Smiling softly at your boyfriend as you take a seat beside him, grabbing your plate while helping him choose a movie. Settling on Spirited Away, and probably also watching Howl Moving Castle immediately afterward.
Mingi later in the day left after making sure you ate dinner, and made his way to the place where he trained at, Yunho already there training one of the new younger guys that joined recently. "Mingi! You're late! What caught you up?" Yunho looked over at him, noticing the frown on his best friend's face, something at home must've happened again. Walking over to Mingi who sat down on the bench, starting to wrap his bandages around his hands, Yunho stood in front of him. "I'll quit after this Saturday. It will be my last match." His eyes did not even meet Yunhos, knowing his friend looked flabbergasted at him now. "What do you mean quit? You're on the best way to become a legend Mingi! You cannot quit now!" His hand was grabbing his shoulder now, shaking him slightly, Mingi swatting his hand away with an annoyed groan. "I don't care, living a long healthy life with Y/N is more important. I never realized through what pain I put them okay.." Mingis hands were clenched, he was visibly distraught.
Of course, he loved boxing, it was his long passion yet he loved you so much more. Enough to give this up to be able to make you not suffer anymore and grow old together.
Getting up now Mingi gets ready to warm up, Yunho following him, the conversation is apparently not over for him yet. "Why all of a sudden?" Voices calmer now, trying to understand his best friend's decision. "I realized what pain I put Y/N through, I want to grow old with them, I want children, want to marry and.. If I someday get injured and can't be saved I would never be able to forgive myself for being so careless with my body." Yunho could understand him, of course, he could. Yunho had been through the same years prior with his wife, yet he never had the potential Mingi had either. "Listen I understand but.. Have you thought this through?" Mingi sends him one last glance, making it known that he is serious.
Leaving the man alone, for now, Yunho goes back to the students he currently has. He can't be mad at Mingi, boxing is dangerous, he knew that, yet it was sad to see a rising star stop mid-air.
"I'm home!" Mingi calls out, noticing the sweet smell of baked goods in the air, making his way to the kitchen. "Mingi! I made some cupcakes! Come on taste them!" Pulling him over, you shove a sweet pastry into his hands, the buttercream decorated with colorful sprinkles. Upon taking a bite, he notices the cream on your face, wiping it away softly with his thump. And now he could see it, this was what he should live for. Your smile, your backed goods, you. Your future children and grandchildren. Growing old together.
Leaning his body down, he presses a kiss to your lips, being able to taste the sweetness of the cupcake he just ate. His hands put the cupcake away to hold your hips softly. "I love you so much, so so much." Pulling you against him, locking your lips again with his own ones. Left hand gliding up to hold the side of your face, his thump caressing your cheek softly.
The rest of the week passes by in a rush, Saturday evening arriving, you're now sitting watching Yunho massage Mingis shoulders talking to him quietly. You were glad that this would be the last time, yet dread filled you knowing you'd have to patch your boyfriend up again after the fight. Soon it started, Yunho walking around the ring, shouting to Mingi who was holding up quite strong. His opponent was not really a big deal for him, Mingi being probably almost double the size of him.
The fight continued, Mingi took in some bad hits but the other one was much worse. Being on the brink of giving up, you could see it on his face. Finally, Mingi got him down, the countdown starting, fans cheering as Mingi threw his fits up into the air. Yunho himself was jumping around screaming happily. Before running over to you and pulling you up, looking confused at Yunho now as he pulls you to the ring Mingi was in, microphone in his hand now.
"I know everyone loves to watch me fight, but despite my joy for it, I never noticed how much I hurt someone dear to me with it. The person who despite being in pain on the inside while watching me, still supported me. The person I want to grow old with." Mingi was talking, reaching out for your hand and pulling you into the ring with Yunho's help, stopping you in the middle. "The person I want children with and I want to marry. So today was my last fight! I will be retiring from fighting, but there is one last thing I have to do in this ring!" Mingi was holding your hand in his, looking into your eyes with so much love and warmth. While you tried to mirror it, you couldn't help the look of confusion.
A gasp now leaving your lips as you watch Mingi get down onto one knee, pulling out a velvet box from his left pocket. Eyes meeting your glassy ones. "You're the love of my life, my motivation.. my lucky charm so will you marry me?" A soft yes was pressed out of your lips, as tears threatened to fall, Mingi put the ring on your finger before standing up, pulling you into his arms and lifting you up. "You just made me the happiest man on earth! I love you so much!" His lips find yours, as the lights of cameras go off around you capturing this memory forever.
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whimsicalpolitical · 5 months ago
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Under the weather - Matty Healy x Reader
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in which you are sick and matty takes good care of you
content warning: fluff, medicine, bathing together, sweet matty
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The room is dark, the only light filtering in through the heavy rain pattering against the window. The sound is soothing, but not enough to ease the throbbing in your head. You’re tangled in the sheets, tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position that might give you some relief, but nothing seems to work. Every swallow is a painful reminder of your sore throat, and the ache behind your eyes is relentless.
You groan softly, barely noticing the creak of the door as it opens. Matty steps in quietly, still in his gym clothes, his hair damp from the drizzle outside. It’s just after 8 AM—usually, you’d be up by now, making coffee or wrapped in a blanket, reading on the couch. But today, the sickness has you pinned down, and Matty knows something isn’t right.
He walks over to your side of the bed, concern etched on his face. "Love, you alright?" he asks softly, his voice laced with worry. When you don’t respond right away, he sits on the edge of the bed and gently cups your cheek, his hand cool against your burning skin.
You blink up at him, your vision blurry from both the fever and the sleep you’re trying to cling to. "Matty," you croak out, your voice hoarse and barely audible.
“You’re burning up, darling,” he murmurs, brushing his thumb across your cheek, “I think you’re sick.”
“Just a cold.”
Matty shakes his head, “even if it is a cold, you’re feeling shit and I hate that.”
You close your eyes when he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. Your expression shows discomfort and you try to bury your face deeper into the pillow.
“What’s hurting?”
“Throat and head.”
He sighs, “alright, we’re going to fix that. You just stay here and I’ll get you something for the fever and some tea.”
“No,” you groan, reaching for his bicep, “it’s too uncomfortable here.”
Matty gives you a warm smile before his arm is already under your knees, pulling you up into his chest. His other arm is steadying your back.
“Let’s go, then. I reckon a change of scenery will help with the unease.”
You shudder at the cold air as Matty carries you into the living room, hiding your face in the crook of his neck the entire way.
“Hold on for a second, yeah?”
Matty gently lays you down on the couch, making sure you're wrapped snugly in a soft blanket. The room is dim, the only light coming from the gray morning outside. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes filled with concern.
"How’s that?" he asks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Better," you murmur, but your throat protests with a sharp pang. You wince, and Matty immediately notices.
He leans in, his hand returning to your cheek, "I’m sorry you’re hurting so bad. How’s that tea sound?”
You shrug, “don’t know if it helps.”
“Nonsense. I will make the tea like my mum made it when I was sick, it was mental. Tasted shit but it helped.”
You close your eyes and nod again, too tired to respond. You hear him moving around the kitchen, the clink of a kettle, the rustling of tea bags. It’s a soothing sound, grounding you as the fever pulls you under.
While the water is brewing he walks into the living room again with a wet washcloth.
“Tea’s on the way, yeah? But I’m afraid I have to go and get some medicine. Only things we have is aspirin and vomex.”
“Ugh, really?”
“I know. D’you want to take the aspirin or wait until I’m back?”
Matty looks at you like you’re still the most gorgeous girl on the planet, even in your state -Bags under your eyes, your hair in a mess and cheeks flushed.
“Hm?” He asks, brushing your hair out of your face.
“I would rather wait but I feel like I’m dying and my head is killing me”
Matty frowns not knowing what to do. “Alright, maybe drink the tea and I’ll hurry up and keep this on your head, it will cool you down.”
“Okay.” You nod. You sigh at the cold feeling of the fabric on your forehead.
“Okay,” he repeats, standing up to walk back into the kitchen.
He pours the hot water into your favorite cup which says ‘Matty Healy is a rat’ and puts some sage into your ginger tea.
He takes the cup and waddles back into the living room, setting the tea on the table in front of the couch.
“You have to wait another five minutes ‘fore you drink it.”
“You’re leaving now?”
“I have to get your medicine, love. I’ll go get almotriptan for your headache, lozenges, cough syrup and tylenol, anything else?”
“The lozenges with-“
“Honey lemon, I know.”
Matty grins and leans down to kiss your cheek, “I’ll be back before you know it, just stay here, rest and drink the tea.”
“Please hurry,” you manage to say before a rough cough racks your body.
Without a word, he leans down, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek, then another to your forehead, his lips lingering as if trying to absorb some of the fever away. His hand smooths over your hair, a silent promise of comfort.
“I’ll be quick, love,” he whispers softly, his voice full of determination. “You just hang in there, alright?”
“I’ll try.”
“Love you, babe.”
You smile and listen to him slipping into his shoes and grabbing the house keys from the kitchen counter. He closes the door more quiet than usual to not give you any more pain.
You take a tentative sip of the tea, immediately grimacing at the bitter taste. It’s not pleasant, not by a long shot, but the warmth soothes your raw throat, and you force yourself to take another sip. The heat from the mug seeps into your hands, but as the warmth spreads through your chest, you start to feel uncomfortably hot.
Restlessly, you kick off the blanket and sit up, the fever making you sweat. You glance over at the door to the terrace, the idea of fresh air suddenly too tempting to resist. Wrapping the blanket around your shoulders, you shuffle over to the door, pushing it open with some effort. The cool air rushes in, a stark contrast to the heat radiating off your skin.
You step out onto the terrace, sinking into one of the chairs with a sigh of relief. The cold night air bites at your exposed skin, but it’s a welcome sensation after being trapped in the stuffy heat inside. You wrap the blanket tighter around yourself, closing your eyes and letting the coolness soothe your fevered body.
Time seems to pass in a blur as you sit there, drifting in and out of a hazy sleep. The world outside is quiet, the only sound the occasional rustle of leaves in the breeze. You barely register the sound of the front door opening until Matty’s voice cuts through the fog in your mind.
“Nah, babe, what are you doing out here? It’s fucking freezing,” he exclaims, his tone a mix of concern and exasperation. You open your eyes to find him standing in the doorway, bags of medicine in one hand, his brows drawn together in a worried frown.
“I was too hot,” you mumble, your voice hoarse, as you look up at him. “Needed some air.”
Matty quickly sets the bags down inside before rushing over to you, his hands immediately going to your face. He cups your cheeks, feeling the heat radiating off your skin, and his frown deepens.
“Your fever’s not better, love” he says softly, his thumb brushing across your cheek. “Come on, let’s get you back inside. You need to rest.”
You nod weakly, too tired to protest as he helps you to your feet. The world tilts slightly as you stand, and you lean heavily against him for support. Matty wraps an arm around your waist, guiding you back inside, the warmth of his body a comforting anchor as the cold starts to fade.
“You’re a tough one, but you need to take it easy, yeah?”
Once you’re settled back on the couch, he tucks the blanket around you with care, making sure you’re comfortable. “I can leave the door open, but it’s not a good idea to go out there.”
“Okay.”
“How are you feeling? Any better?”
You shake your head, your fingers around your neck, trying to mend the pain there, “absolute shit, Matty. I don’t know what to do.” Your voice breaks, hating to be sick but most of all your headache is stressing you out and it’s the reason you can’t sleep.
“Oh, darling, we’ll get you sorted, don’t worry. I brought medicine.”
Matty turns around and looks into your cup which is almost empty.
“There, why don’t you drink up, it’ll help.”
“Tastes disgusting.”
Matty chuckles, “that’s the best medicine though.”
“Mhm,” you roll your eyes but take the cup from him to drink up, chugging all the liquid down.
“That’s my girl, I’ll make you another one.”
You groan but he doesn’t let you argue and walks back into the kitchen.
You hear the familiar sounds of the kettle being filled again, the soft clink of a spoon against a cup. A few minutes later, he returns with another steaming mug of tea in one hand and a glass of water in the other.
“I know you don’t want to, but you’ve got to stay hydrated,” he says, handing you the glass of water along with a couple of pills. “These will help with your headache. Go on, take them.”
You take the pills and swallow them with the water, the cool liquid a welcome relief after the bitter tea. Matty watches you with concern, waiting until you’ve finished every last drop before he sets the empty glass on the table.
“Good job, love,” he murmurs, his fingers brushing lightly over your hair. He hands you the second mug of tea. “One more, yeah? Then you can sleep.”
You look at him with tired eyes, knowing there’s no point in arguing. He’s right; the tea might taste awful, but it does make you feel better. So you take the mug and start sipping again, while Matty sits beside you, his hand resting on your knee, a quiet but comforting presence.
“Shit, m’sorry by the way,” you whisper through the cup.
“Why’s that?”
“You invited the boys for dinner and I ruined your plans.”
Matty rolls his eyes and grabs your hand, “babe, you’re not ruining anything. You’re more important than some dinner with my mates ‘specially because we see each other every week anyway.”
You melt and give him a small smile, “thank you.”
“Not for that. I already sent a text into the group chat that you’re really sick and they understand. We’ll just have to postpone our dinner.”
“Yeah.”
“Come here,” he says, opening his arms and scootching back a bit.
You’re too tired to lift your body so you just change your position to your face laying on his lap, your body in a fetus position and your hands fiddling with his.
“You’re beautiful,” Matty says, his free hand going through your hair, making you hum at his gentleness.
“You’re such a liar.”
“Oi, m’not. You’re always beautiful, love, even when you’re miserable like this.”
Matty’s hand slides down to your neck, cupping it before smoothing a deep circle into it with his thumb. It makes you melt a little.
“How’s your head doing? The almotriptan working yet?”
“Not fully.”
Matty hums, “if you sleep now you’ll wake up without pain.”
“You think?”
“M’sure.”
"Close your eyes, love," Matty murmurs softly, his voice a gentle lullaby. His fingers weaving through the strands with a soothing rhythm. "You’ve done enough. Just sleep.”
His thumb brushes lightly over your skin in a repetitive, comforting motion. The tenderness in his touch makes your chest tighten with affection, even as exhaustion pulls you deeper into rest.
Matty leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. "I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be right here when you wake up. I’ve got you."
His hand continues its slow, comforting strokes through your hair, while the thumb of his other hand traces gentle patterns on your skin. The rhythmic motion, combined with his soothing words, finally eases you into a peaceful sleep, your fingers still entwined with his.
Unfortunately an hour later you’re woken by your hot flashes, you’re kicking the blanket off of you, sweat running down your back.
You groan loudly, your head no longer on your boyfriend’s lap.
“Matty?” You call out, your eyes closed.
You hear footsteps and then you open your eyes to Matty in your favorite blue shirt.
“You’re awake. Everything alright?”
“Nothings alright, fuck,” you sigh. “I’m too hot and then too cold and then too hot.”
“Shit. I think you’re proper sick, darling,” he takes the blanket of the floor and folds it together. “I think it’s best if we go to the doctors tomorrow.”
You let a whine slip out of your mouth followed by a “don’t want to.”
“You have to though, I promise you’ll feel better.”
“I want to feel better now.”
“Maybe a bath will help? It’ll cool you down a bit and relax your muscles."
You nod slowly, too tired to argue, and Matty gives you a reassuring smile. "Alright, I’ll run the bath for you. While I’m getting everything ready, I want you to drink more water, yeah? And take a Tylenol. We need to get that fever down."
He helps you sit up fully on the couch, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders. He hands you a glass of water and a Tylenol from the pack he bought earlier. "Go on, drink up," he encourages softly, pressing a kiss to your temple before heading to the bathroom.
As you sip the water, the coolness of the liquid soothes your parched throat, though it does little to ease the heat radiating from your skin. You swallow the Tylenol with a grimace, leaning back against the couch, feeling the tension in your body slowly begin to ease. You can hear the sound of water running in the bathroom, Matty moving about as he prepares everything.
Matty helps you to your feet, supporting most of your weight as you enter the dimly lit bathroom. He lowers you to the edge of the bath and you look around while he turns to shut the door. Candles light the room, their lavender scent filling the air. Soft music is playing. You dip a finger into the water and find it pleasantly warm.
Matty crouches before you to help you get undressed, pulling your pants down and socks off while you throw your sweater over your head.
“Are you getting in with me?” You ask as you open your bra.
“Course, if you want me to,” Matty answers.
You nod, the idea bringing you comfort as Matty helps you to stand. He gets rid of his own clothes and then he helps you into the water, holding your hands as you lower yourself into the warm embrace of the bath. It feels amazing on your sore muscles, and you sigh contentedly.
After a moment, Matty slips in behind you, drawing you to his chest in the water which looks orange because of the bathing bomb Matty threw in.
You shift so Matty is almost cradling you in his arms, knees tucked up, arms around your waist, face pressed into the crook of your neck. One of Matty’s arms wrapped around your waist, the other resting on your back, holding you rather protectively. He sighs and rubs his finger gently though the skin on your waist.
“Comfortable?” He asks
You nod against him, “you?”
“Yeah,” Matty kisses your forehead gently, lips lingering on your warm skin for a moment. You nuzzles your face deeper into Matty’s neck, soft sighs coming from you mouth.
“Is there anything else I can do to make you more comfortable?” Matty asks, his heart aching for the girl who meant everything to him.
“Just talk to me, maybe?” You ask with a light chuckle “And also maybe... play with my hair again?”
Matty laughs and shifts his hand from your back, sliding it up into your hair, fingers carding through the soft strands behind your ears, occasionally rubbing his thumb over the ear itself to elicit a louder, happier sigh.
“When’s the last time we bathed together?” He asks, “too long if you ask me. I fucking love bathing.”
You smiles against his neck and warmth fills your heart. He tucks his face down into your hair and sighs happily.
Matty’s heart always hurts when you’re sick like this, it always had.
Matty clutches you tighter his her chest and kisses the top of your head.
"I love you, babe," he says softly.
"I love you too, Matty," you respond "so much.”
Matty giggles at your sleepy voice.
"Get some rest okay? You need it.”
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tan1shere · 10 months ago
Text
Changes pt 3
Ellie Williams x female reader !
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A/n: finally what you've all been waiting for, I hope you all enjoy this was such a fun story to write. I feel like I wrote this well, especially the anxiety as I suffer hugely from it, a few techniques in there of how I deal with it if you also struggle <3
Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?
Warnings: MDNI. Smut at end !! Implied rape from a past relationship, anxiety, pet names, SOFT DOM ELS ! mentions of drinking and I think that's it :)
Text: orange-ellie pink-reader blue-angela
The red text is flashbacks which is near the end !!
Masterlist || pt 1 ! , pt 2 !
"It's all an act. Dont fall for any of it."
...
"She's gunna hurt you Y/n."
...
"I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me."
...
"Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics."
...
"She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you."
...
"We warned you."
It was spiraling in your brain, everyone's words including hers. You felt foolish for thinking you could change her in any way. An absolute fool. Why couldn't you of listened to everyone. All you had was hope. But that died that night, that hope was officially gone for good. You had been curled up in bed all of your Saturday. You hated to admit it but you were crying. Laying in your bed with cold tears staining your face. You had come home from that party in the exact same state.
"Oh, babe.." you heard Angela's voice softly say, bringing you into her embrace. You sunk into the feeling letting out tears. "What's up?" She asks pulling back a little. "Y-you were right. I'm such a fucking idiot." You sob. She was confused. "Woah what, slow down." Her hand rubs on your arms, bringing you with her to sit on the couch. "Me and Ellie. Well we were dating in secret, I'm so sorry for that. But we aren't anymore." She changes her expression to a more serious one. "That fucking wh-" But you didn't even want her to finish that. You knew Ellie had hurt you but it was fairly new, you still had some love for her. As troublesome that may be it was nothing but the truth. You had to get over that tho. You had to.
You were laying on your side, still mulling over those same sentences over and over again. It was like a tiny devil in your brain telling you 'you fucked up' but you soon hear your door creaking open. "I made you some sammies." Angie came in with a sweet smile. Your back was currently facing her and you didn't make any effort in changing that as you let out a dry hm. She lets out a sigh. "I won't watch you starve because of some silly girl who's hurt you. Please." You turn over looking at her. "I'll eat, just not as hungry right now." She walks over setting the plate down on your bedside table, moving to sit on your bed. "You're strong ok? I know you will get past this." You give her a tiny nod. "I might just take a nap." She nods in agreement going to leave. "Good idea."
A few minutes go by when you hear the door. You couldn't make out the voice so you continue to rest on your side. Holding the drawing she did of you in hand, staring at it. All of this, everything just wasted. You couldn't bare to look at it any longer, chucking it in a random direction, deciding to get some rest.
Ellies pov.
The night before:
"Oh this one's going to be a good one I can feel it." I say, examining the crowds of people. It was booming, that's for sure. I look at her, she looked so effortlessly pretty. It stunned me. "You're so silly." She speaks. "Come on let's get a drink." I then say, grabbing her wrist and dragging her gently with me. Her smile was brightening every bad thing in this world. "I'll be the sober help." I smile at her. "Not even one love?" She just shakes her head. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?"
It had been maybe an hour into the party and I didn't feel completely with it. Y/n was sitting comfortably in my lap, just looking so beautiful. "Mmm I want another." I slur. And there it was, her gorgeous giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." I blurt out suddenly. "Well that's very kind of you." She replies. But as I keep looking at her I could tell something was off, or was I daydreaming? Was the alcohol just messing with my brain. I decide to ignore it, not in my right mind. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." I watch as she smiles at me, probably replying but the music drowns out not only my thoughts but any formable words. Feeling her get off and leave, I could feel my brain going fuzzy too. But deep down something just didn't feel 100%. I eventually turn my head to look at her, noticing Kenny speaking to her.
That boils my blood. Why can't he just mind his own business? Stop it Ellie, you haven't been angry like this in forever, don't break that streak now. She comes back over handing me my drink, I give her a mumbled thank you. "Was he hassling you?" "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." As I look at her I notice her posture shift, i knew it wasn't her getting comfortable on my lap. Because if anything she looked uncomfortable.
"You alright mama?" I decide to just ask. "I'm just going to go for a pee." She states, beginning to get off. "Oh.. alright love." I'd be lying If I said I wasn't worried, but the other half of me felt dizzy, making me forget slightly what was going on. I shake my head going to get up and get another drink. When I eventually hear shuffling next to me. I turn my attention to see a dirty blonde girl. "Hey." She gently says. It takes me a moment as confusion washes over me. "Hi?" Silence. "You don't remember me?" More silence. Because no, I didn't know who the hell she was, until I take a better look. "Sophy." She smiles. "Ah so you do remember." I somehow felt awkward. "Uhmm yeah." Still really confused on why she's even talking to me. "I missed you." Stunned. "I- huh?" Now I was really baffled. "But- i kinda just left ya." It was bad, but it was the truth, why would she miss me. "Yeah well. You were still hot." I furrow my brows at a loss of words. "I- wha-" When I suddenly feel her lips on mine, I felt all too sober right then as my eyes widen. But before I could push her away- "Ehem." I hear someone clear their throat, I don't even need to turn around to know who it was.
"Fuck.." I mutter, slowly turning to face her. "Wait baby no i-" I began but suddenly my freshly poured drink was being dumped on me. I sigh. "No." She points at me. "Ellie what the actual fuck." I stare at her, saying nothing. Not even knowing what to say. Fuck, it's like it's happening all over again, speak you idiot. My eyes widen as she starts to cry.. ive never seen her cry before, safe to say I never ever wanted to witness it again. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." I immediately shake my head. It was all wrong. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But she cuts me off, shoving the cup into my chest. "Shut up Ellie." And I listen. I couldn't fuck things up any more then i have. Right...
It was silent, after a second or two she soon goes to leave. "Wait-" I start, but it was no use. She was gone in the swarm of people. "Fuck." I curse under my breath. I couldn't let this happen, not her. Not someone who I know I've fallen in love with. God Ellie you should've just told her. I wanted to make this right, after all she was my everything. I stride through the crowds when I spot her. I notice she isn't alone. God, does Kenny ever just fuck off. There's that anger again, but nothing was stopping me this time. I March on over there, pushing him to the ground ignoring all the fallen gasps. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" I retort. "You bitch." He starts to speak, getting off the floor and making an attempt to hit me, but he misses. "Fight round two then, you fucker." And it begun, the tiny fight between us. But I notice her going to leave. "Wait no- please let me explain!" I yell, grabbing onto her wrist. She immediately pulls back, with anger herself. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" I plead, but she just shakes her head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed."
And that was that. I watch as she leaves. I felt so empty like I had just lost my best friend. What the fuck was I going to do.
Missed calls. I called her so many times, I was freaking out. Think Ellie. God. This was suppose to be the one thing I didn't fuck up. I pace in my room, debating on what is the best approach. Nothing. "Come on brain. You can be creative, don't lack in that now!" There was one option. Going to her dorm and trying to talk to her, Angela. There needed to be a backup plan tho, I had no faith in the first one. I flop on my bed with a long sigh. "You made her cry.." it hurt to even look back on, her hurt features. Her anger, but most importantly those glossy eyes. I close mine trying to get the image out, laying on my back still thinking. "Fuck it." I get up and head over to her dorm. Knocking on the door hesitantly, when Angela is suddenly in sight. "Can I spe-" "No." She immediately cuts me off. "But-" "No Ellie you broke her fucking heart. Again. Why do you always do this to people." I stare at her. "This time was an accident I swear-!" She raises a brow. "You accidentally kissed someone? Yeah alright." There was no winning this. "Please just let me talk to her and explain." She looks at me, but not before shutting the door in my face. Great. What now?
It had been a few days later, and there was no sight of her in classes. Which was worrying, knowing how involved she was with the work. It was saddening to say the least. I decided to have a small wind down in the library, wanting to clear my thoughts in the safe space. When I spot her just sitting in a corner, reading. Was I dreaming? I haven't seen her in days. My feet felt like they were glued to the floor, staring. Do I go over? Talk to her? What do I say?
All these thoughts raced through my mind when I just stood up properly, beginning to head over there. I stand for a few moments in hopes she'd see a person's shoes and look up. As her head rises I notice her eyes. Tired. Worn out. Red and puffy. My heart breaks all over again, especially when her soft expression turns into a bitter glance. "I uh-" I sigh scratching my neck. "Can we talk?" There was silence. Not our enjoyable silence that we'd always share. A cold silence. "Nothing to talk about." I swallow hearing her voice for what felt like forever. And it hurt, the pain deep inside her. "Please." Pleading. I just needed to try say something. I bend down getting infront of her view, needing her to look at me. When she does I just pray she hears me out. "Go on." I soften my look, hearing how uneasy her voice was. I know I didn't mean for all of this to happen, but how could I. How could I of let her kiss me at all- my thoughts were cut off when I hear a faint cough. "She kissed me." Great going. "No really? I'm well aware." God damn Ellie. "I just- I mean, I didn't kiss back." "I saw you Ellie, that's such bullshit." I close my eyes. "Ok, well I didn't enjoy it." She scoffs. "So you admit you did kiss her back?" Now I was silenced. Shit. "Uhhh- well- fuck sake."
She shakes her head. "Just leave me alone." She says dryly, getting up from her spot about to leave. I go to grab her, but don't. Wanting to not repeat history. "Please just let me explain more." She bites her lip, and I know she's suppressing tears. "You've said enough." And so I let it be. Letting her walk off and out of the quiet building.
A few weeks. That's how long ago the library incident first happened. I hadn't seen her around since. Had she left.. like Noelle. "No, don't be silly she loves it here she would never. Not because of me, right?" I huff, that had become a habit, talking to myself. I was still on the mission to get her back or atleast explain things. But my brain was bone dry. It was currently the last class of the day, I rested my chin on the desk, still trying to think. "You know Ellie." Dina began. "Why don't you do something nice for her, give her a note saying to meet somewhere, maybe make her some food or-" I shake my head. "This isn't just some ordinary girl." Dina was honestly shocked. I turn my attention to her. "Shes more than that, I have to do something bigger." She pats my shoulder. "Maybe she has changed you Williams, cuz you've never spoken such things about anyone." It's true, she definitely did. "If this was you and Jesse had done this and you still loved him and such, what would you want him to do?" She ponders that question. "Well I suppose I'd want the truth from both. Him and this random girl." My face lights up. Genius! I smile wide going to hug her. "That's brilliant Dina! But- wait. How would I even do that." I ask. "I think you should figure this out on your own, if she really has changed you I think you should know what to do."
"I'm sorry for screwing you over." My words come out rushed, looking at Sophy with so much hope. She just looks at me. "Really?" I nod. "That's very big of you." She states. "Yeah well, just trying to mend past situations." There was a long pause, before either of us spoke. "Hey, I'm sorry for kissing you that night. I'm in no way that kind of person. Maybe when I'm drunk but I didn't even know you were seeing anyone, didn't even know the Ellie Williams ever could to be fair." The confession heals something inside me, letting that hope be reassured. "So you forgive me for being a complete jerk ages ago?" She smiles and nods. "Yeah we're cool." A sigh of relief escapes my lips. "So what's happening with her? Are you two speaking." I shook my head. "Shes mad and upset and to be honest I don't blame her. I did technically kiss you back-" "you didn't actually." I furrow my brows. "Huh-?" So incredibly confused. "But she said she saw it-" Sophy shakes her head. "Well I didn't feel anything. You must've been talking or something beforehand to make it look like you did, but you didn't. I remember most when I'm drunk and you never kissed back. Plus she caught it before it could progress."
Happy was an understatement. "That's incredible, oh my God I could just k-" we give eachother a look. "Yeah no, bad line to use." I let out a slight awkward laugh, making her shake her head with a smile.
She agreed to help me smooth things over and I was forever thankful. "How do we go about this?" She asks. I think for a moment. "Maybe you could knock on her door and ask to speak with her, and maybe clear the air. Might be best if I'm not there so you can talk properly?" "Sounds good, I don't see a problem with that." I let out a breath of relief. "Ok awesome, thank you."
And after an hour or so she was back. "So how'd it go?" I sit up. "What's something she loves?" I was incredibly confused. "Reading, painting, music. Why?" She leans on the wall. "Shes a kind person, I think she forgave the fact I had apologized, but I reckon you should now do something so she can forgive you completely." I let that sink in and I knew just the thing.
Readers pov
It had been a long day, stressful classes, tons of work. Thank fuck it was a Friday and you could wind down again. You were currently snuggled up on the couch, watching some random cheesy romcom on the TV. Considering it was a Friday that meant Angela was at her boyfriends, so dorm all to yourself. You're brought back out from your thoughts to a knock at your door. Odd. Who on earth. As you open it you spot a girl, not really even processing when you suddenly remember. "Hi, can we talk quickly?" You were shocked nonetheless. What was she even doing here. You let her in anyway, your intrigue getting the better of you. You both make your way over to the couch in silence. "I would like to apologize for kissing something that didn't belong to me." She begins. You on the other hand stay silent and let her finish. "I was drunk- and that's never an excuse, but I do, do crazy shit when I am, I'm not that kind of person sober." There was a silence for a moment. "Doesn't excuse how she acted tho. I appreciate your apology." She nods. "Well if it's any constellation, she never kissed me back." That just confuses me. "Wait she didn't?" She shook her head. "I can assure you. It was just my goofy ass's doing." It only makes you feel a little silly for not knowing the whole story. "I feel embarrassed-" "don't, if anything i probably would've done the same, besides she didn't have the best track record did she? It's no surprise you'd assume." You're now the one to shake your head. "I shouldn't of, I should've let her atleast try and explain."
"Thank you for coming to clear it up with me." You say, escorting her out the door. "Of course, only right thing to do." You nod, giving her a smile. "Although I would've liked her to of come to do so- I know she's tried but I dunno- you think shes given up on trying to fix this?" She lets out a tiny laugh. "Far from that, give it some time yeah? If you know Ellie she never half asses things she loves." You just hope that's true.
It had been a few days later. Two to be exact. And you were currently on your way back to your dorm room. You were about to get your keys when you realize it's already open. "Angie?" You begin, but once you open the door you're greeted by those green eyes. That pale, freckled skin. "Ellie-" You breathe out, setting your things down. Wondering what on earth she's doing here. You notice a few things, like her guitar, then you suddenly smell food. "What is all this." "My apology." You let her continue knowing you had been a bit hard on her. "I made your favorite meal, and I know you were busy today as it was a Friday, so let me take care of you. I'm going to play your favorite song as you relax." Your gaze softens. No one had ever done this for you. Ever. So it melts your heart completely. "Here, come sit." She gestures. You go over to the couch, sitting down as she prepares her guitar, situating it properly in her lap. She begins to play the song Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, your entire face lights up. It hadn't been this bright in awhile, and Ellie seeing that makes her truly happy. Once the song finishes she looks at you. That comfortable silence being back and better than anything. "I- that took me maybe a week to learn, and honestly it wasn't easy but its the easiest song I've ever had to lea-"
But she was cut off by you kissing her. She missed it so much, how soft and safe your lips felt against hers. She was happy again. You pull back to get a look at her. "No one's ever done anything like that for me." She smiles wide. "I've never done anything like that for anyone." She states. "Well I'm glad I was the one." Another comforting silence. "You are the one." Your heart skips a beat at her words, just hearing them makes you giddy inside. "You really think so?" She shakes her head, making you furrow your brows in confusion. "I know so." And that sudden worry was gone again. All you wanted was to kiss her, she got the feeling. Setting the guitar down and bringing you closer. Kissing you so sweetly. You both part. "Well let's eat I bet you're hungry." You nod. "Starved." Your hand reaches out grabbing the plate of pasta. "Smells amazing, I didn't know you cooked." She laughs. "Again with the assuming my love." You put your hands up in your defense. "Didn't say you didn't look like the type to! ... although." A cheeky grins spreads across your face. She lets out a chuckle going to lightly hit your arm. "You're a menace." You begin to eat the meal, and it wasn't too bad. Had all the good flavorings, the perfect amount of cheese which she knew. "No one knows me as well as this, it's quite special to me." She puts her plate down to speak. "No one?" You shook your head. "Not even my parents."
She looked shocked. "Well, glad I could be the one who listens properly. Even though it truly isn't a hard thing to do." You nod at her statement. "You are a good listener. You know how I can tell?" "How?" She leans back intrigued, you take a moment. "Whenever I talk about something and I forget what we were talking about, you always will remind me of the exact thing in best detail that I was speaking of. And always it rejogs my brain. That is how I know you're truly listening." She smiles at you. "You're so cute." The compliment makes you blush, hard. "I missed you." You blurt. "I missed you too angel, so much you have no idea."
That night had been the most relaxing night of your life. It ended with her sleeping in your bed cuddling you until you fell asleep, the safeness you felt was undeniable. It was a regular Tuesday, not too busy but also not so quiet. It all went down hill with the last assignment you got, since you had been a bit out of it recently. You must admit you were slacking. It's not like you at all but you were determined to redeem yourself. That is until the project was due in 2 days. A project this big, no way in hell you were getting it done by then. Not unless you stayed up all night and day. It didn't help that you had classes ontop of that. Stress started to arrive as you go over the assignment. You were currently at the library, skimming it over and over. You begin to bite your lip, chewing and searching for any loose skin as that seemed to help you in some way. It's like a calming technique you picked up through the years, although the consequences aren't so calming. You would forever get ulcers that prevented you from eating because of the infuriating pain. You needed to stop doing it truth be told. You were pulled from the slight manic reading when Ellie is heard. "Hey baby, whatcha doin." She sits down across from you. "Just this assignment." You give her a smile. "How was your day?" You ask her.
"Pretty boring, but hey. Not anymore." She smiles at you now too. "Wanna do something later, you can come over and we can just chill." God that sounded nice but you knew you had to decline. "You can do this and maybe I draw or practice guitar, whatever suits you." God she was so sweet and thoughtful. "That's such a beautiful offer, Els but I think I'm just going to go back to my room to try finish this." And Ellie being Ellie she was agreeing. "Ofcourse yeah! Let me know if you need some company at all." She goes to get up, but before leaving giving you a kiss. "Bye baby." You kiss her back. Once she's left you look back at the work. "Right, let's go." You say packing it up and heading to your dorm.
"Hey." Angie says coming in. "I made some food it's out there if you want it." You nod, focusing on all the papers on your bed. "Whats all this?" You look at her. "Just some work I needa catch up on." She looks at it, then you. "Ok, well please eat." "Uhuh." You didn't take your eyes off of the sheets of paper, scribbling a few words on it. She let out a sigh which you hadn't even heard her do. She leaves soon after, closing the door.
8:01
-Hey sweetheart, just checking in. Making sure everything's ok. :)
You had been so engrossed that you hadn't even felt your phone go off, let alone hear the damn thing.
8:37
-hey sorry, yeah everything's going fine.
-want that company?
-you know, yeah. I'd love that, that sounds nice.
-be there soon. <3
You stop for a moment letting out a breath, you were looking through everything when your face drops, realizing you had completely missed a whole section. "Fuck." You curse going to grab it. There was absolutely no way you were finishing this on time now, you hadn't even seen it how are you going to put this in all of a sudden. "God damn it." "Everything alright?" You jump at the sound of Ellies voice. She holds a hand out. "Woah- didn't mean to startle you it's just me." You shake your head. "Sorry- just a bit jumpy I didn't expect you yet." You reply. She looks at your bed. "This is alot of work." You sigh, trying your hardest to stay positive. You turn your focus on her. "You brought your sketch book." She smiles going to sit in your desk chair. "Sure did, needed to do some doodling." You nod at her, going to continue to figure out what to do with this crap. "What's all this even for?" She asks. "English. Kinda stupid but oh well." Her brows furrow. "You love English tho." "Mmm, I do. But not when it's like this.." you sigh again. "You alright tho?" You nod at her question, flashing a smile. "Yeah, I'm good." She smiles at your own, going to start to draw.
The next night was harder, the whole day was. Trying to find spare time to get more done. It was nearly impossible. Your stress was increasing, making your anxiety appear. You were tearing your hair out in your bedroom. "Hey, have you eaten today?" You hear Angela's faint voice. "Mhmm." You lie. She huffs. "Im worried about you." Your eyes never leave your page. "Well I'm all good in the hood." You slightly joke around by saying that silly saying. "I'm serious Y/n. You hardly have a break from that." That went straight over your head not even hearing what she's saying. She sighs going to close the door again.
-can you please come over.
-why what's up?
-she's freaking me the fuck out, she's not eating I don't even think shes fucking slept, I notice shes been acting incredibly off and it's very worrying.
-slow down, why do you think all this?
-the food from last night was still sitting out this morning. She said she'd eat it and she hasn't. Her eyes are so bloodshot I could see from the millisecond she looked at me. Her bags were prominent too.
-oh Jesus.
-please come over here, I think she really needs you right now.
-I'll be over right away.
Your breath was shakey as you talk to yourself about what you had to do. Your room was a complete and utter mess. Paper, pens, folders. Everywhere. You were so engrossed by it you hadn't even heard your door open. "Y/n?" You heard, you turn your attention to the voice. "Hm?" She saw. Ellie saw what Angela was talking about. "Angie said you haven't eaten." You wave her off. "Can't." She was confused. "And why not?" You pull your lip down to the unsurprising ulcer that had formed. You let your lip rest back, getting back to your studying. "Well I'm going to go reheat the food I'll be right back." You give her another hum, not focusing on a word that came out her mouth. When all of a sudden, the stress was just gone. Your face sits still. Uh oh. That stress had now been replaced with anxiety. Shit. You couldn't let her see you like that. You had to stay calm. But once a panic attack occurred. There was no stopping it. Your breathing became more heavier, taking in breaths to hopefully get that heavy feeling that was on your chest away. No use. It only made things worse, making you freak out again. You felt like you couldn't breath, grabbing onto your sheets feeling tears start to come. Your entire body shaking from the arising panic attack, but also from the lack of sleep. It was going to catch up eventually. It just had to be now. "It might be a bit too hot so just-" Ellie begun. But immediately put the bowl down on your nightstand.
Her movements were speedy coming to crouch down infront of you. She watched you cry your heart out, breathing as if there wasn't air. "Hey hey hey hey, look at me baby." You shake your head, never wanting her to see this. "Please." Her gentle touch makes you reluctantly do so, still letting out streams of tears, shaking uncontrollably. "Shhh." She softly let's out, rubbing your knee. "I-i can't. I can't breathe-" She stands up gently grabbing your hand and putting it to her chest. "Yes you can, youre ok I swear to you. See?" You look at her then your hand, still freaking out slightly, you can feel a ramble about to approach. "This stupid work- Its- suppose to b-be done by tomorrow and I'm nowhere near done. I can't fuck this up because I had been slacking because of everything- and then I messed up on this last night, I h-have absolutely no time during the day because of other classes everything's so messy and I don't know what to do." You sob more. Her heart shatters at your unsteady voice and sobs. She wants to hug you but also doesn't want to overwhelm you even more. "Slow down yeah, once you take a small breath you'll be ok, trust me?" She squeezes your hand reassuringly, letting you know she's right there. "Youre safe. You're going to be just fine. I'm right here." Her voice was so delicate, you let your mind listen to it feeling the sobs begin to slow. "That's it there you go. Can I give you a hug sweet girl?"
You nod at her kindness, wrapping your arms around her torso and resting your head on her chest. She softly kisses your head hugging you tightly. Your grip also tightens not wanting to let go. "Can we stay like this?" You mumbled into her hoodie. "As long as you need angel." Your eyes close, listening to her steady heartbeat. Feeling that tiredness take over. "Can you try eat a small bit before you get some well needed rest, please?" You nod sheepishly, pulling back but still keeping close to her. "Can you stay with me tonight.." Your voice was unsteady but you honestly didn't care you were more than comfortable with her seeing you like this, you thought you wouldn't be, infact you worried about it for nothing. Maybe that's the same for alot of silly things you stress over. "I still dunno what I'm going to do about this stupid work." Your head lowers, looking at your hands in your lap. She thinks for a bit. "Leave it to me ok?" Your eyes move to look at her. "No no, it's ok-" "Please baby. Let me help you." Her hands gently grab your cheeks, and you just give her a nod. "Good, let's get you to eat then some rest hm?"
It was probably a few months that had gone by, you and Ellie were stronger than ever. Doing so well. You were currently over at hers, her roommate being out, you two were just hanging about in her bed. Laughing, smiling, talking. It was a lovely way to spend your evening together. When she turns to you. "Hey pretty girl." She smirks slightly, glancing ar your lips. "Hello." You reply cheerful. You notice her eyes, wanting to kiss her, leaning in to do so. Her hands sneak to the small of your back as the kiss was slow but heated, with intense passion. "Have you." Kiss "Ever thought." Kiss .. kiss - it slowly moves to your jaw. "About sex." And your eyes go ghost. Your mind runs, your heart pounds. Because no you haven't and there's a divine reason why. "I know I have."
"Don't move you little bitch."
You swallow. "I uhm- I dunno exactly." You could tell Ellie was in the mood, and her kisses were so nice-
"Absolutely pathetic, and you're letting this happen."
You blink furiously. "You make me so happy." The kisses continue, and you freeze. Just like all those years ago. "Youre so pretty baby." Your heart rate picks up again. Your anxiety peeking. "E-ellie.." You wanted to try to tell her. Considering you haven't mentioned it yet. "Mmm?" Her kisses move down to you neck, everything was soft but..
"Dumb. Fucking. Cunt."
You could feel slight tears. "Is this ok?" She asks. And when you don't respond she asks again. "Baby?" Then suddenly she feels something wet hit her nose. "My love?" She looks up this time, seeing the small tears. "Hey, hey." Her voice was velvet, making more tears fall. If anything you weren't as scared to do sex all over again, you felt so incredibly safe with her, and remembering all those flashbacks just proved how new all this was. It felt foreign. "Talk to me pretty." She goes to softly stroke your hair. "Was it something I said?" You just shake your head wrapping your hands around her wrist gently. "You're perfect." A silence. "Then why are you crying sweetheart." Her voice was as tender as her touch and you knew you were in love with this woman. "Because you're perfect." She smiles brightly. "Years ago, I was with this girl. We were together for 2 years when near the end she got incredibly toxic with me. And she well in some words-" You didn't even need to finish your sentence, Ellie knew and immediately hugged you. You returned it tightly, like you always did. That silence came back and it was incredibly comforting. "I love you." You hear her voice whisper in your ear. Pulling back to look at her a little surprised. "You don't have to say it b-" But you cut her off bringing her in for a kiss again. "Yes." That confused her. "I've thought about it with you and yes." Then the smiles return, and so do the heated kisses.
After a short while she moved to be more ontop of you but stops briefly. You look at her, she looks way too good right now. "Can I eat you out angel." Her face was close to yours but the way she asked only turned you on more, the fact she's such an angel with this all is an even bigger turn on for you. "Please do." You breathe. Feeling her slowly take off your shirt, she looks at your breasts admiringly. "You're flawless." You felt heat rise to your cheeks, but not because you were anxious or anything, because your whole body felt like it was heating up, all because of how loving she was. She moves her lips to kiss one slowly turning into a gentle suck, around the skin and on your hardened bud. You breathe out, but even that sounded pretty to Ellie. Making her close her eyes at everything right now. She couldn't get enough of you. "You're so beautiful, so incredibly pretty." She blabs on. Her kisses move down your stomach. Keeping with her tender like touch. She slowly but surely pulls your pajama pants down along with your underwear. She takes a moment to take this all in. "Want to take my time yeah? Promise it's not in a teasing way. You truly don't deserve that especially not right now. Just want to savor hm?" You nod, biting your lip ever so slightly.
"You sure it's ok mama?" She rubs circles on the fat of your thigh. You give her a nod but she shakes her head. "Wanna hear you verbally say it, please?" Your smile grew. "Yes Ellie I promise its ok, please do it." Your soft voice made her smile grow. "Angel girl.." She began, gently stroking your clit. Your breath hitches at the feeling. "Need to make you feel good, gotta." Her mouth slowly comes down to you, licking softly. Delicately. That then turns into sucking and she did not disappoint. She in fact was making you feel good. Amazing even. She keeps the pace, eventually looking up at you and the way you'd react to everything. When you felt her tongue go in you, you lost it entirely. Your mouth hung open with so much pleasure everything felt so natural. It always did. "Mmm, knew you'd be as sweet tasting.. such a perfect girl." You let a moan slip. "E-ellie i-" "Mhmm, feel you clenching on my tongue. I got you baby. I got you." This woman didn't make you last long at all but in hindsight. You were not at all complaining. Because as you began to cum, you feel the most incredible orgasm approaching. You felt content, safe. Secure. "Thereee you go Angel. Atta girl." She mumbles letting you ride out your high on her tongue. "Mmm Ellie please I need you so bad." She licks her lips coming up to your face. "Yeah love?" You nod. She goes to take off her clothes, going to get back ontop of you.
But she stops again. "Why don't we try this." She goes to lay down on her back getting you to straddle her. "You be in control okay? I'm right here to help. Just want to make sure this is perfect for you. All I want." You look at her lips, leaning down to kiss them. Her hands tangle in your hair, giving you a tender scalp massage as the two of you kiss. You situate so your pussys directly on hers, not moving just yet, going to sit up a bit. You begin to move shortly after. Watching as you both open your mouths. Her soft grunt made your stomach do flips. "You're so perfect Els.." Your breath became uneven, in the best way possible. She looks down at the two of you then back at your face, your features. "God your ethereal." Another moan escapes you as you speed up. "Good girl, doing so good." The praise went straight to your core helping egg your orgasm on. "C-Can we cum together, please?" Her heart fluttered at your words. "Ofcourse my angel. Wouldn't want anything more than to do so." Your pace picked up again, letting more moans slip from your pink lips. "So well, so incredibly good. Fuck." You knew she was getting close you could just tell. And so were you. Her hands rest on your thighs, squeezing the flesh. "Ready mama?" You nod with her, cumming with moans. Grunts. Of eachothers names even. As you rode out your high making sure Ellies was met too, your body became weak. Flopping onto her torso. "I love you, Ellie." You say back from about 30 minutes ago. Her smile was like it was tattooed onto her face. "You truly have changed me, Y/n.. and for the better." You close your eyes. Feeling yourself drift of to sleep. She kisses your head, stroking your hair gently. "Wanna marry you some day even.."
:))
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lunarw0rks · 1 year ago
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I have a request for Ghost where 141 notices a change in Ghost when he can't wait to get home to a loved one but hasn't told anyone about her yet. They even notice that he smells different at times, has hairbands on his wrist, and is distracted more than usual and maybe even happier. Then they finally put the pieces together and maybe even find evidence that he does have a loved one, Thank you :))
『♡』 masterlist ♡ rules ♡ ask box Warning(s): nothing major, mild language, gn!s/o A/N: soap in this fic reminds me of this scene lmao. also, this is more headcanon/drabbles than a short fic, since those have been easier for me to write lately.
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─── simon hated it, being in love with you. there was a point where his hyper-awarness had dwindled, leaving him lovesick and distracted. regardless, he's a solid lieutenant, hard and ruthless whenever necessary, but it's the little things.
♦ his street clothes don't just smell of tobacco and his natural musk. there's something else, too. your scent. the shampoo and fragrances that you use, are unmistakable to his co-workers.
♦ it wasn't until he was sitting still long enough to smell it, that he panicked. he had been nose-blind, too occupied with a busy day to notice it until now. this whole time, those who had stood next to him throughout the day smelled it too, no doubt.
─── but Simon had to stay calm, he told himself. he could do that, couldn't he? he's always stone-faced and stoic. should be a walk in the park... right? if he played his cards right, no one would notice, no one would tease him - no one would find out about you.
♦ well, that sentiment didn't last long at all...
♦ it went exactly how he pictured it. soap running his mouth, being chatty and persistent to get a rise out of him. and it worked.
♦ "if I were a detective, I'd say ya been caught red-handed, L.T." soap sneered, to simon's dismay. he hadn't said a word; all he was doing was sitting off to the side picturing coming home to you.
♦ the lieutenant replied, forcing his usual scowl. "go bother someone else, Sergeant. I've got no time for childish games." though, since meeting you, that expression had been more difficult to fake. perhaps it was how he bounced his knee anxiously, how he had his head back while daydreaming, or how he fiddled with his scarred fingers more than usual. simon had failed at being subtle, once again.
♦ soap wasn't going to give up that easily, naturally. "the crime of love. head over heels for someone, aren't you? fell so hard you knocked some sense into your hard head, didn't ye?"
♦ "watch yourself, johnny."
─── next, it wasn't just subtle clues to the lieutenant's dating status. it was cold, hard evidence. the gravest mistake he ever made; forgetting to take off one of the hair ties you handed him the day before. or, subconsciously, he kept it to keep a piece of you with him.
♦ no matter the root of the problem, he was screwed. he had officially gone soft... a little soft, at least.
♦ "ghost, you have yesterday's reports?" price asked, preoccupied with the mounds of work on his desk. simon nodded and reached into the bin on the top shelf, his hoodie sleeve rolling down his arm when he did so.
♦ in truth, price could care less about the dating status of his soldiers. all he cared about was that they were punctual and focused - but something about ghost having someone at home, it amused him.
♦ gaz, silently observed from afar, like always. he never spoke, unless spoken to. he was more shocked than anything. simon was never the type in his mind, let alone to be distracted and leave traces of the unknown lover. but, nonetheless, gaz didn't want to lose an eye, so he decided it best to keep his mouth shut.
♦ surprise, surprise.
♦ soap said something again. "hm, i knew it, L.T. you got the hots for someone at home, got it bad, heh." the iciest glare he'd ever received from ghost, was all he got in return. simon yanked his hoodie sleeve back down as if that was going to clear the memory of his vulnerability.
─── "be careful, sergeant, or you'll be lying in the med bay."
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riniworld · 1 year ago
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fulfil my wish
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yandere!emperor oc x general!f!reader
warnings// obsession,yandere theme,mention of killing and blood,breaking bones,not proofread, let me know if i missed anything!
refrence// you,my love,flower,your majesty-honor, she/her
a/n//i don't actually know if all of this make sense-
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it's been months since you've got married to taron,and you hated every second of it.
your place is in the field with a sword or in a war not in this luxurious life full of lazeness,but he prevented you from using the sword again saying it's too dangerous for an empress to go to the war.
in the start you didn't mind because you don't want to hold the sword against your home,but you can't handle it anymore when you couldn't even go out the castle.
your life start to become plain and boring,you literally had read the entire library.
whenever you open the topic with taron he close it immediately.
You've gave up on getting out from there and didn't argue about it more untill...
You have a younger sister who got married early to one of the soldiers who was under your wing, but he died in one of the battles so you took her and her children responsibilitys on you,You found a job for her to support herself and her children, and you visited them every month but after what happen you forget about her.
you were on your way to taron to give him some papers he had told you to bring because he forgot them in the room when you stumble on one of his correspondents telling him news about the empire and he mentioned something about your sister losing her job.
you had alot of questions first is that how does taron know about her? second Why does he receive her news? She doesn't even live here,but all those questions faded away when you realize you should go visit her.
You were jolted out of your thoughts when the door opened,the correspondent bow in respect and go.
taron smiled softly when he saw you "ah did you bring them already?"
you put the papers on his desk "what did the correspondent told you?" you asked like you didn't hear anything,maybe he'll told you what happen to your sister in details.
"Don't bother yourself with it, it's just normal news about the state of the empire"
you nod in acknowledge "I'll go now then,i need to do something"
"do you now? why don't we drink some tea together,We don't usually sit together" he took your hand and kissed the back of it
you pull your hand quickly "no thanks" then you left.
but then you stopped in your track,Why don't you get closer to him? Maybe he'll let you out the castle then? this idea hit you as you made your way back to him.
you opened the door aggressively "you know what let's drink tea together i don't have anything to do"
taron was confused as much as he was happy,did you finally decided to give him a chance?.
"sure,of course come sit" he said and pull the chair for you to sit on.
when you sat down he demanded the servants to bring two cups of tea in a rush
you sip from your cup in tense,since he sit down he kept just looking at you.
"your tea will get cold" you point out.
"hm?....ah yes,yeah right" he shake his head like he just come to his sense.
you roll your eyes when he wasn't looking.
he sip from his cup befor he speak "What is the reason for the sudden change in behavior,hm?....it's not like i'm complaining of course"
you pause thinking of a reason "...nothing really....I'm-just bored."
He raised his eyebrows in surprise "you're bored? Did the servants fail to bring you anything? do you need anything? should i punish someone?"
"whao there,it's nothing like that i just.....it's boring being here all the time"
he sigh "i don't like where this going to."
"why so? all i ask is a little walk in the cit-"
"no." he shuts you up immediately. "we've talked about that before,if you need anything I'll send someone to bring it to you."
"it's totally different! i need some fresh air"
"the garden is big enough"
"but it's annoying to be in the same place over and over again."
"look.." he say as he made his way to you taking your hands in his "it's all for your safety,we don't know what will happen if you set your foot outside the gates."
"i belive I'm more than capable of myself." you say in annoyance.
taron chuckle slightly "yes,i trust you can of course, let's just say i don't want anyone to see your beauty as well...If I didn't have to, I wouldn't let the servants see you at all"
"that's bullshit" you mutter under yout breath.
"i know you're not the type to stay in one place,but you'll get used to it"
you glare at him in anger and pull your hands from his.
taron sigh in frustration and ran his hand through his hair.
"is boredom the only reason that you want to go out?"
you stayed silent for a moment, "no...i want to visit my sister."
"...oh..you have a sister?"
what a liar,it taking everything in you to not punch him, "i do" you say between gritting teeth.
"don't worry about her,just tell me where is she and I'll take care of her." he smiled at you.
"no need, just let me visit her." you say in desperate.
"I'll think about it" he goes back to his side of the table "i would love to spend some more time with you but i have duties to attend" he say in an apologising tone.
you left the room without saying anything,knowing that it's just lies and he won't let you go.
you're laying down on the bed,you couldn't sleep last night thinking of ways to visit your sister.
Even if you can avoid the servants, you will not be able to avoid the guards outside.
you sigh and gets up to change,you'll think better in the fresh air.
When you open the door to leave, you're stopped by a guard standing at the door.
"please forgive me,your majesty,But it's orders you can't leave your room."
you scoff and get inside,that happened alot when taron get guests.
you sit beside the window looking out at the garden lost in thought,you heard rambling outside the door,that most be the servants busy providing hospitality,poor people.
but that when an idea crossed your mind,everyone busy with the guests,no one will notice you snaking out,And if you use a little of your power as an empress, you can leave, and no one will tell taron immediately.
you open the door again and cut the guard before he say anything "i need to use the lavatory."
the guard look between you and taron's guest room,you clear your throat to get his attention again "I'm sure taron wouldn't mind,in fact he might even get angry if he knew you didn't let me go." you feel a little guilty to use his fear against him but you know you had to,for your sister.
the guard stood in front of you in tense "as you wish,your majesty,but let me escort you."
you had no choice but to accept,now you're here in the toilet thinking about how to get rid of him.
You use one of the moves you had learned as a general,
You pull him in quickly as you apply enough pressure to the carotid arteries,while you cut off the blood flow to his brain, render him unconscious.
you mutter "sorry" and left,walking slowly to the outside gates you've bumped on one or two of the servants who questions you if you need anything or telling you that taron don't want you to go out now,but you brush it off by some excuses as he the one who told you to bring him something or you want something personal from a room.
You have successfully reached the outdoor garden, you made your way to the gates and the guards stopped you "sorry your honor but you are forbidden from leaving, it is the Emperor's orders"
you expected this to happen "I've been given permission to leave"
the guards look at each other and then one of them speak "excuse us but we have to ask his majesty about this"
"are you calling me a liar?" you say sternly.
the guard started to get tense and bow his head "i would never your honor!"
"it's-it's just for safety,your honor,so his majesty won't get upset" the other guard says shakly
"there's no need to disturb him right now,i belive my word is enough to go by,isn't it?"
the guards opened the way to you and shouted "yes of course your honor!"
it would be strange for you to go walking in this clothes in public so you take a trolley to escort you.
your eyes land on a clothes shop,it sells ordinary clothes just the thing you need so you told the trolley driver to stop by it, when you enter everyone star at you,not that they recognize you thank to taron's possessiveness, but because you look more like a royalty to buy something from a store like that.
you ignore the stars and whispers in your way looking for something more comfortable you can run in it if needed...or fight.
when you find what you want and wear it you head to pay but then realize that you didn't bring with you any money,cursing under your breath as you think of something you can pay by, your eyes landed on your ring,your wedding ring,it's not like you loved it anyway so you give it to the seller who look at you with shock but eventually take it of course even if it was too much for the price.
as you walk out the store,you tries to hide your face as much as you can so the trolley driver won't recognize you,when you get far enough you start to walk casually but fast trying to reach your sister as fast as you can before taron knows about your disappear and make a huge deal of it.
8:00p.m
it's been two hour when those shame of royalties has been here,taron grew annoyed,What they say is all bullshit to him,he could kick them out easily and for no reason but he doesn't want to deal with the drama that will happen... not now at least not when you finally softened up to him a little bit,his mood ease a little when he thought of you.
he wonder if you're asleep right now,and hope you're not, he want to spend some time with you again.
8:30p.m
oh finally they're gone!,taron bid them farewell coldly and fast he didn't even escort them to the gates but can they complain? they're lucky enough he even accepted to meet them and didn't kick them out by 5 min.
taron head to your room and got angry when no one stand at the door,didn't he set a guard here?.
he opens the door to your room slowly so he won't wake you up if you were sleeping,But all his annoyance changed to shock when he did not see anyone in the room he made sure to not let you out didn't he?!
taron shouted for the servants to come and by seconds three servants bowing on their hands before him,no one dared to left their head up not when their emperor is angry.
"i belive I've made myself clear to not let y/n left the room,haven't i?,so where is she now?" his tone is terrifyingly filled with coldness.
"We-we were s-s-so busy hosting that we didn't notice anyone leaving,your-your Majesty" one of them say shakly with terror.
"you useless insects!" he shouted "I'll deal with you later,go and prepare my horse and let some of those guards prepare themselves too...quickly!" he demanded.
the servants hurried to do what they had been told.
taron knew exactly where are you going to,if you only waited for some days, he was going to take you there of course he was, why would he prevents you from visiting your sister?? he was just going to make it a surprise but you had to break his words and now you ruined everything, he has to make you learn how to obey him even if he have to use power.
day later
it wasn't easy to left the empire the guards was everywhere, you even had to hide somewhere for like three hours.
but eventually you're out know and close to your sister's house it only take an hour walking.
.
.
.
you finally here after alot of trouble,you knock on the door and your sister opened the door real quick.
"ah-y/n! what-what got you here?"
you didn't answer instead you throw yourself at her and hug here tight,she return the hug but there was something strange about her, she sutter and seems like really anxious,you shrug this feeling off maybe she's still brokendown.
she guster you inside "I've heard about what happened" you say while sitting down.
"o-oh really? it's not a big deal...and i-i heard about your marriage" she brings some tea and biscuit to a table in front of you.
"ugh don't talk about that now,it's miserable..that sham of a man thinks he have the right to control my life or something"
"y-y/n ac-actually he's-"
"but it's true my love, i do have the right to control your life" someone cut your sister off, you recognize that voice, taron
you stand up in a defensive pose quickly wich lead to knock the tray off "what are you doing here?!"
"what? am i not allowed to visit my beloved wife sister?" he said with innocent tone.
you look at your sister with a questioning look,but what got you angry more is how your sister shiver in fear, what did he do to her?!.
"i swear to god taron if you've hurt her!" you warning.
taron only chuckle slightly "I've never heard you say my name,it's like honey when you say it"
you didn't replay don't want to go further with his playing.
taron's expression suddenly turned serious "now let's go back to the castle,and you're going to come with me obediently" he say coldly
you wanted to argue but your sister life is on the line,before you even replay he grabbed your arm and dragged you to his horse behind the house, he ride the horse at first and demand "ride" as you ride hesitantly.
The road to the castle was quiet and full of tension, you knew full well that there would be consequences when you return, but at least your sister was safe.
as soon as you reached your destination, taron took you by your arm forcefully and then threw you on the floor of the room.
you fall on your back hard but you swallow your groan,Before you lift yourself off the ground taron place his foot on your neck It chokes you a little.
"you broke my words,flower. i have to make sure you won't do it again." he say strangely calm as he tuck down and take one of your arms
the next thing you hear is a cracking noise,fuck he broke your arm.
you bite your lips to not scream and sound weak,All thanks to your training as a general,but you eventually let a little groan escape as he force more wight on it.
"you broke my heart,flower. The least i can do is break your arm,and this still not as much pain as I felt" with every word come out his mouth he twists your arm more "be thankful i didn't kill your sister."
with that he left you alone,you lift yourself up and embrace your arm letting out a few tears,it of course doesn't hurt like the battles injuries But this is the first time someone has broken your pride, and who did it? The person you hate most!.
you swear you'll get your revenge someday.
someone knock on the door,you gave permission to enter, the castle's doctor entered,she respectfully told you to sit on the bed so she cast your broken arm. (i guess it's like that?)
When she finished, she wished you a speedy recovery and left.
taron entered as soon as the doctor left,he looked at your arm for some minute before he exhale and sit down beside you.
"you lost that" He takes your good hand and place your wedding ring in your finger,a blood-stained ring,did he kill the clothes seller?!.
"you of course hadn't gave it willingly,so i brought it back to you, don't mind the blood it'll go easly with some soap" he was smiling, how can he smile when he just killed an innocent person!.
maybe the blood on the ring will remind you what taron can do without guilt, if you hadn't listen to him this would've been you sister blood.
he's terrifying.
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finallyyyyyy
hope you like it :)!
have a nice day/night♡
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bbanghiitomi · 1 year ago
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| when things don't go your way
synopsis: what do you call someone you're not dating but someone in your arms? hanni asks that question herself often but always comes to the same answer: which is you.
— nonidol!filmstudent!phanni! × nonidol!journalismstudent!fem!reader
ლ⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠ლ⁠) ლ⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠ლ⁠) ლ⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠ლ⁠) ლ⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^
honey ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
y/n, are u not coming to see me?
i miss you already...
haven't seen you for a month.
how's ur org doing?
received.
you find yourself smiling as you read her messages, it seems like just the casual hi and hello's, the simple updates that friends are supposed to be sharing with each other aren't enough to satisfy the pham's need to be able to see your face, hear your voice and touch you. she's right actually, the last time you've seen each other was a month ago, before your journalism organization started being busy once again and her life has been a lot more boring ever since. there have been lots of restless nights where you think to yourself that there's no such rest as good as hanni's hugs, you really need her embrace, her arms around your waist.
god i miss her…
you can't help but think to yourself whilst you sit in one of the journalism organization room swivel chairs, working in front of a computer for the next online publishing of the university's news publishing website. it's almost 9pm, the lights are dim and the last person who you were with inside the room was the radio broadcasting group's director — danielle marsh, who then left with the sports writer kang haerin. they've been going in and out together for the past couple of months, which went unnoticed by some members of the faculty as it was seen as “typical” and very on character for them to do so.
you weren't new to that thing too, it's pretty obvious they've got a thing for each other and they're pretty open about it if anything.
unlike you.
just seeing the two made you miss hanni so much more, and it's quite selfish to think of such things because everyone, including the sane part of your brain knew that there's nothing between the two of you except for friendship — worn like a cloak to hide a secret. you can't remember why this whole arrangement between you and hanni started, when did you start sharing kisses? when did you start taking her home? what was the reason you visited her place even if it was late at night? why were you even so adamant about being there for her when she needs someone? why did both of you agree not to put any meaning behind these things? those thoughts were at the back of your mind, it shouldn't matter actually and when you think about it you try not to pry yourself about how it should matter that much — at the end of the day, things are not going to change.
if the walls of your room could talk, your secrets would no longer be something shared between you and hanni.
well, you've been on thin ice for such a long time — at this point, you assume that everyone in your organization and her club already has an idea about your relationship with hanni and are quite in a stump about it but that's too far from the truth, in fact — there were hardly anyone who notices the little things you do. everytime you think about her, the shared secrets together, the things about you that only she knows — you can't even find a reason to hate yourself for entertaining something people won't find appealing. it's been so long, why would you even go back to where it all started to stop this from escalating even further when you could just go with it until the end.
you know, you're going to hold onto this till the end, thinking that there will be that time where you and hanni can settle things down and accept what needs to be accepted and leave what needs to be left behind.
maybe, things will get better eventually…
you just hope you can stick with this until — you can finally call her… yours.
honey ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
hm…
i'll think about it.
miss me already?
the org's doing just fine, hbu?
sent.
you drop your phone on the table as you close the tabs of the computer and then turn the computer off. you stay on the chair for a few more minutes, waiting for her reply as you fiddle the hem of your shirt with your fingers. quite nervous, confused as to why you were nervous — you can't help but just laugh, not having any explanation as to why you're suddenly acting like a giddy teenager girl over your so-called "friend".
crap… you think to yourself, it's really late now but you were hoping to see her again, at least even for just an hour or-so.
i wonder what she's up to now.
honey ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
oh! the club's doing well!
we just finished our project and were hoping to release it soon.
you know how giddy i get about it, right?
i wish you were here with me so i can tell you all about it.
received.
you feel the familiar heat crawling up to your cheeks, you tap at the screen only for a few seconds and then pick it up. you wonder why, even before you kissed her, no matter how many times you tried setting yourself up with other girls — it wasn't effective at all. behind those words you told other people is hanni lingering at the back of your mind, the image of her face clear in your eyes until you just gave up, leaving yourself falling into her arms.
just how many times have i tried?
i can't even remember.
you thought then just gave up.
honey ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
yeah…
i wish i was there, where are you anyway?
i mean, maybe i can come and see you.
right?
sent.
you stare at her message for a few seconds then you stand up and grab your bag that's been left unattended on the floor for a few hours since you first started working on the articles. you have absolutely no idea about what you're doing, it's just you doing whatever once again and doing it in the most random time ever but that's just because you missed hanni so much.
it won't hurt, right?
spending just some time to see her again.
honey ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
wait, really?
i mean…
that's great!
but what about your roommate?
will minji not look for you?
received.
that's the thing, minji has been your roommate for almost two years — yes, that long. she's practically like your sibling at this point, one that you can always trust and lean on when you need a shoulder to hold onto or someone to cry on. minji used to be also a part of the film making organization in your university. she used to work with hanni on some projects for school until she left to focus on writing her own stuff on her own accord. so, minji is someone hanni already knew before she met you.
minji knows your thing with hanni and is at first troubled by it, but then it's not like it's something unethical, right? it's just secrets and a relationship with no label, it doesn't hurt anyone aside from you and hanni. that's the thing, minji feels bad that you subject yourself to self-harm — which is a relationship where you have no right to feel jealous about. she knows it sucks, how many times have she asked you: “what’s really between you and hanni?” and you always answer her. “nothing, we're close friends.” even though she's seen you cuddling with hanni on your couch, awfully closer than normal.
she worries your mother might find out even before you make it official between the two of you,
you know, she knows you're screwed if it were to happen.
minji has basically given up prying her way into your business but still tries to watch out whenever you feel sad or frustrated. she's always there when you need her — she's obviously a great friend that even your parents trust.
honey ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
nah, don't worry
i’ll tell her.
she’ll be alright.
where are you?
sent.
honey ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ
great, i’m here at my condominium
just, you know? waiting…
hope you come here asap
;)))
received.
you grab your backpack and sling to your shoulder, making your way past the rows of computers lined and exiting the room. you see the dim corridor, your eyes follow along the lines of doors and the straight path to the stairways, and under the dark hall the pictures of when you first met hanni lingered at the back of your mind, right at the end of the corridor.
r u carps, min?
hey minji,
bro
i won't be home 2night
take care of the dorm and heat up the pizza
i got some money under the flower base and just take it to order sum whatever…
lov ur roommate, y/n
sent.
and with a blink, you come back to reality and start running your way to the stairs and reaching the ground floor — rushing as soon as possible to get to the open parking lot where your scooter is parked, you open your top box with your keys and immediately place your bag inside before locking it once again.
r u carps, min?
dude wtf?
why now? ur mom will be here tomorrow.
y/n?
hey!
BRO!!!!
ur such an asshole
you know that?
come on…
ur dead
received.
as the engine ignites, all your worries are pushed back behind before the motor accelerates and you finally find your way outside the campus then to her condominium.
“you’ve been away for so long.” hanni grumbles, arms wrapping themselves around your torso, you laugh at her expression, a cute pout adoring her pink lips and her eyes full of stars inside of them. it's almost like she has the universe in her pupils. “only for a month by the way, i’m guessing you really feel lonely here.” you tell her, raising your brows at her direction with a smile on your lips. she nods, snuggling closer to your body on the bed, she feels like a koala the way she couldn't let go of your figure.
“of course! aside from my parents, you're really the only one i want here with me.” she says, well it's nothing but the truth but hearing it made something inside you tremble. it's something you cannot understand but something you feel very deep inside, you only smile at her.
she could bring anyone she wants here.
and you would still not be able to tell her nothing, because you have no right to do so.
she's free to do whatever she wants to do.
and that must be your fault, right?
you place a hand on top of her head, patting her soft hair under your palm. “seriously, this is why you feel lonely. having a friend or two here other than me wouldn't be so bad.” you express out of genuine feelings, though it's nice to know you're the only one she wants, you can't help but feel guilty that you're making her wait or expect too much to the point she's not allowing anyone inside of her life aside from you.
at the end of the day, you only want her to be happy.
but that's not the case, for a relationship that doesn't have any label — hanni seems committed to it.
you haven't even said anything but she's already sure she's yours, and it honestly makes you feel bad even if it is a mutual feeling you two both share.
“i really only want you…” hanni buries her head on your neck, snuggling close for warmth and you can't help but wrap your arm around her, to keep her close as if anyone was going to take her away from you if you don't. “it's okay, i won't be away for any longer anymore. i promise.” you whisper, you feel hanni nod her head and feel her lips against your skin as she speaks. “promise me you’ll be here with me forever?” you look down on her, eyes directly on her cheek, her face hidden on your neck. “i will.” you smile at her.
maybe, you are really that tired that when you open your eyes it's already 9am in the morning yet hanni is still wrapped around your arms. the sun shines so much brighter on days like this, it must have been her presence beside you and everyday should have been like this if things were different.
there is still a chance for you to change it.
you start to see it.
“are you sure i can come to you and minji’s place today?” hanni asks, looking up from her plate of food, she tilts her head as she asks, eyes meeting your own pair. “well yeah, you know minji would never mind.” you say, bringing your utensils down before smiling at her direction. “besides, it’s not a busy day today.” you add.
you take the helmet in hanni’s hands and help her wear it on her head, making sure it's strapped tight. as your hands let go of the helmet, you notice hanni staring at your face and you raise your brows at her. “what?” you ask. hanni giggles and shakes her head. “nothing, i just… feel giddy about being with you today after what felt like forever.” she says and you almost saw the entire galaxy inside of her eyes the way it shines, the wait the light sparkles, you can't help but be mesmerized.
you nod at her and place a kiss on her cheek. “of course, it's not everyday we get to be like this together.” you huff and hop on the motor, hanni follows and wraps her arms around your waist.
when you get to your shared apartment’s front door you notice the weird aura of the place, you hesitate to open the door as you stand still looking at the wooden entrance, hanni peeks behind you and wonders why you haven't touched the doorknob.
now… i must be paranoid.
it's oddly quiet or somehow, there's a strange presence looming around the place and you don't know what it was.
you take the doorknob in your hand and feel its cold surface, sending shivers on your spine. you twist it and enter inside, slowly stepping a foot and looking around to see if anyone beside minji is present, hanni follows quietly but is still confused. your eyes widen when you spot your mom standing by the living room and seemingly pacing around, in panic and quite in a rush, impatient.
you feel a rush of adrenaline pumping in your veins as you immediately take a step back, pull hanni outside then close the door gently. “w-what’s wrong? is there an intruder inside?” hanni asks, worried that there might actually be an intruder, which ironically turned out to be your mom. you laugh sheepishly and scratch the back of your head. “uh no? i just remembered that minji wasn't around and… we can go grab food somewhere before coming back—” your words are cut off when the door opens to, none other than minji.
“minji..?” hanni looks behind you, to the door as minji stands with a hard expression on her face.
“where have you been?” minji asks, her tone is strict and impatient for an immediate answer, her eyes bore behind you and then dart back at hanni. “and why is hanni here?” she adds to the pile of questions.
you turn around and shake your head. “ah, i didn't know you were here… crap, i was at her place yesterday and i thought i’d hang around with her here ‘cause you wouldn't mind, right?” you shrug, minji kept her serious face but sighs, rubbing her temple with her fingers. “y/n, i won't of course. but you know who will?” she says, clearly frustrated.
hanni squints her eyes at minji. “who?”
“her mom, she's here today, waiting for y/n inside.” minji answers, you flinch at the idea before turning your head at hanni who frowns and looks away. “i didn't know she'd be here!” you whisper aggressively, rubbing your face with your hand.
“dude, i messaged you yesterday. you didn't even bother reading it.” minji argues, which was the truth but you were riding your scooter to hanni's place when you received the message — it was the reason you didn't have the time to read it.
with your face buried on your palm, you grumbled. “dude, i was riding my scooter that time…”
hanni sighs and places her hand on your shoulder, you put your head up and look at her. “i’m leaving for now i guess, you'd be in more trouble if she sees me.” hanni says, giving you a small smile.
you furrow your brows, you think to yourself that there must be a way — there's something you can definitely do, doesn't matter what there has to be something!
you stare at her, pursing your lips before reaching out for her hand and shaking your head. “no, you'll stay. don't worry i’ll take care of this, please just stay.” you tell her, minji’s expression turns into confusion — as if, your ways of salvaging you and hanni's relationship seemed absurd to minji's level of understanding.
“wait? y/n are you crazy? you're gonna get you both in trouble!” minji says, already scolding you even before the trouble happens. you look at her and shake your head, holding hanni’s hand tight. “no, that's my mom — i know her, we’ll be alright. i promise.” you look back at hanni to give her a small smile again, caressing the soft skin of her hand under yours to soothe the unstable feeling stressing her out.
the door opens once again but this time it's your mother who exits and her eyes dart at the three figures standing. “y/n? where have you been, young lady!” she yells, you laugh and look at her with a sheepish expression before pulling hanni slightly closer beside you. “i stayed somewhere only for a night. i swear, no troubles.” your mother seems to notice hanni’s presence beside you and raises her brow towards hanni, her scary aura unchanging.
hanni took a deep breath, opening her lips as if about to say a word but she fails miserably when your mother glares at her. “and who is this girl?” your mother asks, her voice asking irritatedly. you look at hanni before wrapping your arm around her torso, getting a look of doubt from your mother but mostly directed to hanni, who gulps a lump inside her throat. “hi — i’m y/n’s —”
“she's my girlfriend, mom.” you grin at your mother, hanni and minji both looked shocked at the sudden revelation — you were confident, this time you’re sure and there's no way you’ll take it back again, not this time or never again. hanni looks at you and her eyes shake when it meets your mother's gaze.
“oh, what..?” minji mutters, feeling her head spinning, she blinks in confusion and looks at the three people all facing one another. hanni blushes, aggressively gripping the hem of your shirt, looking up at you as if you said something crazy which is indeed crazy, out of character even.
“oh, really?” your mom adds, her voice softens but her eyes remain the same.
hanni looks at your mom, nodding her head gently.
“yes, i’m your daughter’s girlfriend, ma'am. nice to meet you…” hanni smiles, still quite hesitant, like a curious cat dipping its paws in something it doesn't know — but in hanni’s case she has her hand sticking out for a handshake.
somehow, your mother's eyes softened or is hanni just deluding herself into believing so?
she hopes, your mom did — because she shouldn't be seeing things, she's still sane after all!
yes, your mother did soften her gaze.
hanni may not be that crazy after all.
just a little, just for you.
“yeah! you're okay with it, right mom? hanni’s a very nice girl and she lets me sleep at her place when i stay at school late and she cooks me breakfast and she helps me with my homeworks. she helps me clean my room, helps me with my laundry and —” even before you finish rambling about how hanni basically keeps your life stable your mom raises her index finger to your way to shush you down before she steps forward to take a closer look at hanni.
your mother looks at hanni’s hand and reaches for it before shaking it, feeling hanni’s sweating and trembling hand. “nice to meet you, is my daughter too much work? i know she's a little handful sometimes.” you slump your shoulders as you mother jokes, hanni laughs— you notice the change in her voice, feeling your girlfriend starting to relax herself. “she isn't, i’m happy to be helping her.” hanni answers, feeling her cheeks flush and her blood boiling on her face.
“that's good to know, she's very dependent.”
minji nods and huffs. “yes, she is!” you roll your eyes at her.
you mother lets go of hanni’s hand and turns away to walk inside the door, but before she enters she calls for minji. “help me arrange the table.” she says, to which minji followed almost immediately.
hanni feels like laughing, there's a certain type of warmth blooming inside of her when she realizes what just happened. she blinks only for a bit, trying to do something to make sure she isn't daydreaming or dreaming whilst asleep — and she had just confirmed that she is indeed awake, none of what happened was fake and the warmth of your arm proved it.
“hanni.” you call out to her. hanni puts a hand on her mouth and looks up at you, starstrucked to actually see your mother up close.
“i’m your girlfriend?” she asks, to make sure you're not bluffing.
you smile and nod, giving her the type of gaze that means “i love you”.
“you are, you're my girlfriend.” you tell her.
hanni feels like crying this time, there's something about it that she can't explain — something about finally being able to hold onto something that isn't a thin thread of hope for something that will break apart in no time, without her knowing. something about finally being able to actually express her feelings without holding back sends waves of relief inside of hanni.
why has she not thought of this earlier? why didn't you tell her that earlier?
hanni embraces you in a tight hug, her face buried in your shoulder as she sobs. “oh my god…” you feel her speak. you laugh, petting her head. “hey now, i promise i’m not lying.”
hanni sniffs and looks up at you. “i love you.” she whispers, eyes covered with tears and cheeks are bright red, before breaking into a wide smile. “i love you too.” you tell her back before giving her a small kiss on her lips.
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