#i would have had to say something like
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taro buys jiro a weird-looking kitty plushie
(this is a scene from my fic about taro and jiro going to the park and jiro getting a plushie! ;;w;;)
#gekkan mousou kagaku#delusional monthly magazine#jirotaro#tarojiro#jiro tanaka#taro j suzuki#my art#(i feel like i posted this at the wrong time or something so im reposting it--feel free to reblog even if you haven't read the fic!)#i finally finished illustrating this!! ;;w;; (ive been trying to finish this since i wrote it and idk why it's taken me so long T__T)#i realized while making this that i didn't describe the shopkeeper in my fic#i had imagined him something like this but bc i didn't describe him the shopkeeper could look like anyone#i realized also that i didn't describe taro or jiro either so they could have been furries for the whole fic and no one would have known#including me#but i meant for them to be humans#i think making references to their age did imply they were humans#also their hair is almost the same in furry form so describing their hair would not have helped in this case#i would have had to say something like#he grabbed taro's smooth hairless hand and taro stumbled forward without a tail to balance him#well there's probably another way to do it#anyway!! i finally illustrated my fic and i think there is a way to put images on ao3 so i might just put these pictures there!! \;;-;;/#btw! i am the first person who wrote a fic for this series!! i think i caused them to make a series tag for it#before my fic there was also a fanvid in the tag! \;;w;;/ but they didn't make it an official tag until mine#i think bc i didn't know what to tag and i put on like 3 variations of the series title
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!
(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#Comics I meant to post a week ago but I have been...extraordinarily sleepy.#Remy is the ultimate yearner and he is about to explode...these last few updates have had the Tigers discord in a vice grip.#We all knew he was going to say something that would devestate Remy.#But this??? This near confession? “I wish you would look at me like that?”#If I was Remy...well yeah I probably would also just lay in bed. Awake. Pondering and internally exploding.#But ough...the agony...his heart had settled on loving this man from afar and now...now he wonders. If it doesn't have to be so.#The boys are fighting (internally and with themselves).#If you haven't red Tigers yet but are reading this: What else must I do to convince you? Draw more men's tits?#God! If I must [I shake my head at an empty audience] I can't believe I'm being forced to do this!
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes ��reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.
But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.
But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.
It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'
#o.#trans#transphobia#transmisogyny#I may or may not be talking about a specific post I saw that made me irritated but I didnt wanna get in an argument with internet strangers#sorry guys I'm still heated over freaking collin allred capitulating to ted cruz and throwing trans girls under the bus bc he didnt have the#guts to stick to his morals#and called them ''this idiotic business with boys in girls sports'' or some crap#as if trans girls don't deserve to play the sports they love. like I imagine if they blocked trans men from being physicists or something#and I just wasn't able to pursue the career I want? that would destroy me#and I still had to vote for him because the other options were ted cruz and some freaking libertarian.#sorry thats all tangential but can we not use the same rhetoric that all these politicians do as an excuse to kick trans women out of public#life PLEASE 🙏#...also I really hate the Popular Transmasc Ideology that says that we all experience life as basically the same as a cis woman & never have#to navigate having male privilege & being an ally to women#and all have some sort of Innate Connection to femaleness or womanhood or whatever bc 'obviously' we all grew up just like girls do#ugh#this one's going out there sans editing so dont yell at me if I worded smth weird please 🙏
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Serious question.
Do you think we’ll see the parents/family of each of the guys???
Like, We’ve been TEASED with Ace’s brother, that I’m starting to think it’s just a reference to that Alice in Wonderland park character in Japan and nothing else….
Jack’s family, Ruggie’s grandma, Falena, Maleficia, Ms.Rosehearts, Just now Vil’s dad is in the picture which I am really happy but now I’m wondering about his mom, and so Deuce’s mom.
I mean, some HAVE a silhouette!! It could mean they do have a design in the making/ready to show. They could’ve shown us Falena in the Tamashina (hope I said that correctly) event, but didn’t (prolly to make Leona not so σ(▼□▼メ) and it’s understandable)
Anyhow, any idea/headcannon about this? Who do you want to see first?
I'm wondering if everyone might eventually get a travel event? like they've now introduced with Vil's that it doesn't have to be specifically hometowns, so that opens things up a lot! (especially if they have to figure out how to do three separate Coral Sea visits) (how would that even work otherwise)
but yeah, I hope everyone gets a chance! there's a lot of backstory characters I would LOVE to meet. :D :D :D though I do think some of them don't really suit the more light-hearted tone of the events (pretty sure you're right about that being why Falena wasn't in Tamashina-Mina, that would've just been. too much for Leona.) so like...we're probably not ever going to meet the Rosehearts. or Maleficia (although I maintain that this would be THE funniest possible way to introduce her outside of the main story, and actually I would love this a lot, can we please Twst) (I need to see her to put Malleus in a froofy little outfit and tell him what a handsome boy he is). but they've sprung surprises like Kifaji on us, and honestly anyone who shows up and tells embarrassing stories about characters' childhoods is good in my book!
characters off the top of my head who I most want to meet: literally any of the Zigvolts, Azul's mom, Ace's brother, Che'nya's grandfather (<- I think he would be a good one for Riddle) (please just any non-terrible adult in his life), any member of Rook's family because I need to see how they managed to produce him, and...really just whoever they can come up with for Silver.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tapis rouge#tamashina mina#i think it's just those two#(i am very very sorry about how long it took to reply to this)#but yeah i don't know if everyone is actually doable! i just want to ~believe~#though silver would also have one of the zigvolts honestly#(they are the only reason lilia managed to actually raise him without silver like. falling through a manhole looney tunes style.)#so let's say he gets sebek's mom and sebek gets his dad. just because it would make sebek VERY annoyed.#god i want to meet azul's mom though. everything we know about her makes her sound AMAZING#i want her to feed me lunch and teach me how to take no shit#ANYWAY i do also wonder about vil's mom...#i had been thinking we might learn something about her during tapis rouge. but nope! not a mention.#i guess we did establish that vil either went with eric or was cared for by the house staff when he was traveling#so i dunno! it doesn't necessarily mean anything she might just be a busy lady doing busy things#i just wonder!
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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maknae line + gestures of love 🫰🏼💋🫶🏼🌹🤟🏼 happy birthday @jkvjimin! ♡
#jungkook#jungkook*#tae#taehyung*#jimin#jimin*#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#userpat#underbetelgeuse#trackofthesoul#usersevn#annietrack#usersky#usersan#usermaggie#*gifs#comp#happy birthday darling pat!!!#just a reminder that me and vminkook love you!#i hope you have the best day full of even more love than this bc you deserve it#you put so much of it out into the world yourself that it should only ever come back to you tenfold#i actually made something kinda cohesive?! at least in the first half...feels like it loses its steam a bit after the 10th gif lol#this was only supposed to be 12 gifs but i had more time to keep it going so it ended up being 18 whoops#this is scheduled so i hope it's posting at the proper time (zone ahem)#ALSO at first i arranged this in their age order but i switched jimin and jk's place so it would spell out jk + v + jimin like your url :)#i hope you like this! i'm kinda jealous even tho i made it lol it's quite pretty if i do say so myself#yes i put a heart overlay on the gifs against a white bg to keep the color scheme going..idk i TRIED#p.s. to anyone seeing this and thinking you can't rb it bc it's dedicated to pat for her bday....WRONG! PLEASE REBLOG IT IF YOU LIKE IT! ty
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the world is so fucked up and i can't help but think the damage is irreparable when i see people talking about how unusual and prudish it is to wait six to ten dates before having sex with someone. ten dates??? roughly like twenty five hours of interaction????? ten old timer burgers and mango iced teas from chilis equals sex?????? the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, emotional devastation, lifelong consequences, not to mention just straight up the possibility of getting murdered, with a STRANGER you have hung out with for maybe like two months???? and that's a LONG TIME???? and if you feel weird about that and don't want to do that that makes you NOT HETEROSEXUAL????? THATS AN ORIENTATION???? BECAUSE ITS SO OUTSIDE OF THE NORM OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR ????? i hate all of you i hate you i hate you i hate you every day i hate and I hate and I hate you
#i genuinely genuinely don't understand how everybody who tries to date hasn't killed themselves yet#I'm not saying they should I'm just saying I don't get how they're able to continue on#i see women on social media talking about how they had to cry for a day because they slept with a man they'd been seeing for a while and#then he never called again#no joke not trying to be dramatic I would just kill myself??? i do not understand how people can keep going after something like that#i mean I would never be in that situation because everything about it is bad but like. still#I hate to kind of agree with the 'women over 25 are too bitter for love' twitter man even in a very roundabout way#but i think men AND women participating in modern dating culture have to in some way become so hardened and kill some part of themself#just to survive??? that sounds so melodramatic but like. I can't understand how else people could continue to function as human beings#when they interact with each other in the way modern dating culture dictates
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ivan and till have their first kiss, an alternate ending 💕
please look at this comic for context and Part 1!
#suggestive#ivantill#ivan#till#alien stage#alnst#erm. hey guys. i can explain#my feed has been feeding me too much angst ever since the nyc cards so i had to Do Something#some notes as usual. this is what i imagine what mutual ivantill is like#i am a firm believer that when till realizes his feelings for ivan he will pursue those feelings without hesitation#but bc till is a romantic he wants to do it properly (that’s why the way he approaches his first kiss seems gentle)#sure on a surface level i would say Ivan just wants to get to it1!1!#but despite his teasing ivan would be a mix of sweet and intense since Till reciprocated his feelings and doesnt have to hold back anymore#a true yearner at heart. bless that boy#they really shouldve been at the clurb 💔#ctrlzxoo art
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"Wait."
The Acolyte (2024) by Leslye Headland
#acolyteedit#swedit#starwarsedit#the acolyte#star wars#osha aniseya#qimir#qimir the stranger#osha x qimir#oshamir#amandla stenberg#manny jacinto#tv#gif#*#q#hands#usermonstress#repressionrepresentation#knifeposting#down so bad i'm using this sacred tag and making big square gifs...#anyways isn't it funny that this is the last thing we hear them say to each other#and isn't it crazy that this is technically sol's lightsaber which SHE won which SHE turned red#the lightsaber that already would have killed him nearly TWICE had she and her sister not saved him#the lightsaber that destroyed his very own weapon#which he takes off her for his safety then oh so graciously gives back to her once she agrees to stay#and then he later places his hand over it like this is something they both achieved lol qimir bro you are not in controllll#whatever it's whatever did everyone enjoy the thumb caress? I thought the thumb caress was LOVELY
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️
#f1#formula 1#formula one#max verstappen#nico rosberg#lewis hamilton#brocedes#like niki lauda had to try multiple times to literally parent trap them to try and get them on speaking terms it never worked#because one would arrive they'd see the other and the other would leave#& if i remember correctly the garage crew would swap around from race to race as a like see we aren't favouring anybody gesture 😭#and thats no shade to nico because it was both of them contributing to that environment#his comment re max is just making me laugh#like if i was a part of the pr/media team - which is a part of the degree I'm working on irl - at merc that year i would've lost the plot#like its insane reflecting on it nearly a decade later but the poor souls just trying to do their job in the eye of that storm#truly gods strongest soldiers#ngl the professional comment irks me a bit because its not like max is engaging in inappropriate work place behaviour#he's engaging in another aspect of racing that his involvement raises awareness of & that makes racing more accessible#& we all know how inaccessible not only getting into racing is but also to continue to pursue the further along you go#theres so many stories of 1 sibling giving up racing so the other can keep going because the family can't afford for them both to race#its a huge financial strain & we only see a handful of drivers talk about that & try to do something to change it#and nicos fellow sky sports commentators are routinely unprofessional on so many levels#additionally max had a lot of valid reasons to be annoyed at his team today#but alas he's not english so he's ungrateful#i hate that drivers can't criticise their teams or car without immediately being branded as bratty & ungrateful#ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR JOB IS TO GIVE FEEDBACK#you can see the double standards from sky when say Lando or George have complaints with their team/car v the likes of Max and Yuki#especially Yuki my god the things i would do to get the British media to leave him alone#this was a jokey post at one point and then became a rant whoops lmao#I'll leave it that before i write an actual essay here 😭✋️
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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Danny, the Young Justice member snippet nr 2
these snippets aren't connected in anyway but just some little scenes I came up with, everyone is welcome to build up on them if they want to
Trigger warning: death mentioned, self-harm mentioned, idk, Danny gets flashback to portal incident
unrelated snippet nr 1, unrelated snippet nr 3 (?)
Out, out, out.
He tripped over his own legs and almost fell and it didn’t matter because he needed to get out.
Away, away, away.
He wasn’t sure if he ran or flew or dragged himself on the rough floor but he had to get away. His back hit a wall and he couldn’t get past it, intangibility just out of his grasp.
He logically knew that Zeta Tube wasn't the same as the portal but it was similar. So deadly similar.
He wasn’t sure when his own, corps-like, trembling with rigor mortis cold hands started rubbing his arms. He also wasn’t sure whether it was to comfort himself in this lonely self-hug or to try to rub hard enough that the hazmat and skin underneath would be torn, allowing him to see his own, red blood running in his veins. It was still red, right? It was still red, right? Of course it was still running, why wouldn’t it?
His knees gave up. He fell to the ground with quiet reverbatting thump, his eyes fixated on danger at the other side of the large room. He had to get further away but he couldn’t.
Because he was dying again.
Eyes full of tears and terror were jumping around, unable to see the room around him. Why couldn’t he see anything? Why were there only splashes of various colors, all contrasting with a light gray background. Were these people? Colors were moving, that seemed likely. Ghosts?! He had to get ready if these were ghosts he needed to fight them. People could be in danger and he couldn’t even stand without support. He started it, he had to take care of it, no matter how he felt right now.
His normally overly, unnaturally sensitive ears were filled with constant electric buzz from still active Zeta Tubes.
He was quite sure someone was yelling something but no matter what, Danny couldn’t understand what was being said. He tried looking around again but his teary eyes still failed him. There were no red stains though. Not in the right shade at least. No one was bleeding. It was okay for now.
Was it really? He hadn’t bled when he was dying had his accident though. It was all inside him, the crushing hollowness inside him and infinite outside pressure making his body implode. Ectoplasm bubbling in his mouth, throat, stomach and fingers, silencing his scream of agony and destroying his muscles. His limbs were limp and tense, twitching like a broken light bulb, out of his control but not out of his senses. It was so cold that it bit his bones and so hot that his skin was melting. There were screams so loud that it could shatter glass, as if every inhabitant of the Ghost Zone wanted to be heard and absolute suffocating silence. He was alone like nobody ever was and stuck in a stifling crowd that could stomp him to death any second. It was all contrasting, impossible but happening, existing together. He lived died it.
It was impossible, just like him.
There were others, they could help while Danny got himself together.
They couldn’t help if it was a ghost. He had to calm down and get ready to fight.
He couldn’t.
It was all happening again.
He was dying again.
It hurt to even think about.
Would it at least kill him for good?
Air he hadn’t needed before, not since his first death he always needed, like all functioning, alive human beings, got stuck in his lungs. He was gasping for it, choking on it. There was something stuck in his throat. SOme part of his brain that wasn’t screaming in agony and panic and loneliness had considered tearing his neck open just to get whatever was stuck swallowing but it didn’t help.
He rubbed his arms harder. His eyes were locked on a blurred, still active portal. One of the color blobs moved, growing larger but he couldn’t think about what it meant. His arms hurt. It was good. Pain was grounding. In a gray room with few portals. Not the basement. Ghosts still could be there but it wasn't a basement. He still needed to get ready to fight
If he could feel pain, it meant he was alive, right? Ghosts never showed that they felt pain right? His parents always said they couldn’t.
He knew it was a lie but he felt like it was his last hope.
He realized that growing group of colors actually looked like a person but he had no way to tell whether they were alive or not. His ghost sense was quiet but he didn’t trust himself to not miss it. His throat was still shut tightly. His body kept twitching like a glitching character. No matter what, he couldn’t fight right then. He had to get himself together.
He scratched his arms almost violently.
Warm, soft, gentle hands pried his palms away from his arms. It wasn't a ghost. Ghosts weren't this gentle, this calmingly warm. Someone, someone who was alive, was crouching in front of him, face at the same level as his, hiding portals from his sight. Danny nearly sunk into their gentle touch.
“-om." their voice also was so gentle, filled with concern but firm enough to get to him over the buzz of portals. He tried to concentrate on this voice. He didn't want to hear portals.
"-ntom." It sounded like they were calling someone. He had to focus more to understand. Gentle grip on his wrists got more firm. There he was. He wouldn't feel it if he was dying again.
"Phantom." They called quietly, like little windbells Sam gave him as a birthday present. It was his name, they were asking him something he couldn't understand, something he couldn't do.
"I'm sorry."
He wasn't sure if any sound came out of his mouth.
Grip on his hands loosened a little, not enough for him to do anything about it, but enough to return to the pure feeling of safety and reassurance it gave him before.
“It's okay Phantom." they murmured. Danny nearly cried at their kindness and calmness. Air slowly started to fill his lungs again. It truly was okay, he wasn't dying again."Can you focus on five things you can see for me?"
He could do it. It wasn't much to repay the gentle person kneeling in front of him.
He blinked tears away and started the list in his head.
Black Canary in front of him.
Superboy in the middle of the room. He looked like he didn't know what to do.
Kid Flash next to him, ready to come to where Danny was shaking on the floor.
Robin and Artemis both made sure that Kid stayed where he was.
Miss Martian for sure feeling his panic and having trouble coping with this. He should calm down as soon as he can, he didn't want to cause any of his teammates too much stress.
Danny nodded, looking once again at the only adult hero in the room.
Molecules in his body were rearranging again. It all hurt.
"Thank you Phantom. Can you focus on four things you can hear?"
Five racing heartbeats.
One heartbeat that sounded more like buzz because of its speed. KF's heart was always weird.
Tapping of someone's feet.
Zeta Tubes.
He had been in the portal again, it had turned on with him inside again. He was dying again.
Next cautious nod.
"Alright. Now three things you can touch." Black Canary still sounded so calm, so sure she had it all under control. So contrary to her panicked heart. Danny wanted to believe her voice.
Canary's hands still on his wrists. In fact she was touching him more than he was her, but it still counted. There was some physics rule about it.
Cold stone he was sitting on. Weird, he was sure this cave was heated.
Hard wall pressing on his spine.
"Excellent. Two things you can smell?"
Jazz had done same exercise with him before.
Cookies made by Megan before she went on a mission.
Ectoplasm. Somewhere there was ectoplasm that wasn't inside him. He couldn't smell his own ecto. But there was no ghost in the cave. His sense was silent. It was there somehow else. It was concerning but not enough to make him panic again. They could handle it.
His lungs were still aching but air started filling them nearly as much as it did normally. His limbs stopped shaking so much too. He knew he wasn't dying this time. He was calming down.
"You're doing great Phantom. Now think, what's one thing you can taste?"
Aftertaste of ectoplasm he spat between the rough fight and the moment when Kid Flash rushed him to the nearest Zeta Tube, talking about medical attention. Danny tried to tell him, he didn't need that but he was inside before his explanation left his mouth.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah," It was all he was able to say at the moment. He truly felt better but that didn't mean good. It was only a little less bad than shitty, one step from fully dead.
I considered writing continuation with Danny explaining a bit what happened and how he even ended up in Zeta Tube but a) lost spark to rewrite it b) hated what already had But if you want, I can probably rub my remaining two braincels together and continue. Or someone else can. Do it if you want to. Do it. Do it
#dp x yj#dpxyj#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#once again Danny didn't even consider telling his team that he is halfa#but it doesn't matter this as much I think#once again I have no idea about the timeline#I think Danny would hate Zetas because it reminds him too much of the portal incident#and before anyone comes at me saying that Danny used portal later in the show and had no problems with it#*yeah* but after first time portal worked like overglorified door/corridor hybrid and not tear him apart and build up again#Judging by the way Zeta travel is animated#i assume they work on the “destroy your current body remake it where you won't to go” basis or something similar#you can see how Danny would be uneasy with it#btw this is one of my main headcanons I can and will always use unless story demands something eles#but even then I'm not above looking into every other way to achieve plot without use of Zeta or make at least mention that he is shaken aft#anyway#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part
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