#i would have gone fucking CRAZY
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man the finale series of streams actually started off so banger you cannot imagine the awful glee in my heart seeing tommy’s fear and paranoia drive him to the same place wilbur was in pogtopia. even the finale itself, it had so much POTENTIAL you don’t even understand it was ALMOST good i swear to fucking god.
#text post#mine#guy who LOVES tragic parallels#also tragedies#dsmp could have been a banger tragedy#clingy trying to beat dream but realizing they couldn’t in terms of power but they COULD take what’s most important to him#like. if clingy had died but they ended up destroying the revivebook and dream lived but with the knowledge that he would without#question die someday. everything he did was for nothing. everything and everyone he gave up for this#i would have gone fucking CRAZY
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another narrative that needs to die is that mitch doesn't shoot enough. like that man picks his spots and sinks them so often...... he's good for 25 goals minimum and always on a 30+ goal pace season in and out. do you really want to waste mitch marner puck possession with him flinging them at the neck hoping for something instead of trying to see what he can set up. like 2 split second screenshots where he maybe should have shot pucks (or where you don't see that the passes were NOT in his wheelhouse for him to get it off his stick quick enough) don't define his play at all. like last night the passing lane disappeared so you know what he did? picked his shot and it went in, lmfao.
#hes always gonna give the team a better chance to score a goal. the extra pass really does it so often..#that set play w knies n auston where they SCORED and i still saw ppl saying mtich shouldve just shot it like bro#mitch gave knies the widest open fucking net by passing it.. the chance that it would have gone in was WAY higher flkdjsfskl LIKE...#he has such a fucking high hockey iq how are leaf fans this fucking stupid#anyway. a twt moot was laying out the numbers and ull never guess where the biggest difference in 16 and 88s goals comes from KLFJDSKLFS...#THE POWERPLAY ! kljfsdklf. theyre barely separated goals wise btw.#like are we really getting mad mitch doesnt shoot on the powerplay. really. on a powerplay with auston matthews most of the time.#be so fucking real man holy fuck#anyway. im in such a ranty mood bc clearly so many ppl just dont even knwo what theyre watching like damn#u all are NOT real hockey enjoyers its kinda crazy out here
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see ok I don’t think it’s bad who stole the furniture because he didn’t go to f5 and zoom in on himself a billion times
#also a stamp of innocence from foolish is a stamp from me in bbh’s case tbfh#if it is bad I will be extremely surprised. it really does go against all his characters goals rn plus it was so sloppy#if bad had done it there wouldn’t be a damn chair anywhere on the island. he would have been thorough as all get out. his points of#‘ok I didn’t do it but if I did-‘ when he runs into a chair are so fair because yeah! this is so true!!#if he was gonna be petty and throw a shitstorm furniture stealing tantrum to go against forever or whatever he would have gone 100% all in#he would have gone so far in it would have been fucking crazy of him to find some of the furniture he’d be stealing#anyways I don’t got real money on anyone rn I’m leaning towards pac and richas tho#maybe willyrex? I doubt it though he’s going around planting mines totally different MO rn#mcyt#qsmp#bbh#z speaks
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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oc belongs to @codeopathy
#I JUST REALIZED THAT ALL CHARACTERS IMPLIED TO HAVE CYCLED ALOT DON'T HAVE THEIR FACES EXPOSED#JUST A THEORY BUT DOES IT FUCK UP YOUR BODY!!!?????#(note this could just be a different ref for the same char lol)#BUT BUT LIKE DOC INSPECTOR FOUR ALL OF THEM UAVE OBSCURED FACES ONLY ROOKIE N THEIR DAD IVE SEEN THE FACES OF#AND AND IDK ABT SPADES BECAUSE WITH HER IVE SEEN HER FACE BUT THEY ARE GONE💀💀💀(From my knowledge)#ALSO WOULD EXPLAIN WHY BRAIN HAS EYES LIKE..ON HIS VISOR#CHAT IDK IFK CHAT MAYBE IM CRAZY BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO MY HOMIES#not my oc#fanart#lethal company oc
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hell hath no fury like a yuri voltron warrior
#shitpost#shipping f/f in this fandom was so hard. we were denied by both canon and the fandom.#every day was an uphill battle. I had to reuse content from season 1 for YEARS#anyway I need to start campaigning harder for honerva/allura’s mom. do you see my vision.#don’t even get me started about shay/allura I was fighting for my fucking life out here#the only thing I regret abt not finishing voltron was never seeing veracxa with my own two eyes. I would have gone crazy over them
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some fucking idiot: when we say "magneto was right" we're saying he's right about society and shit not supporting his terrorist actions
me: don't lump in with your cowardly ass i'm in full throated support of his terrorism. sentinels, purifiers, the mardies etc are all real and exist and want mutants dead and literally no one gives a single shit. they'd rather pass the mutant registration act and make "scaly lives matter" jokes on twitter then help stop the genocide of mutants. it's a good thing actually he's blowing shit up and he should do more of it actually.
#xmen 97#'his politics are good but i don't condone his plan to kill everyone on earth' my brother in dormammu--#the earth is FULL OF UNKILLABLE SUPER ROBOTS WHO WANT TO ERADICATE HIS ENTIRE SPECIES AND ENSLAVE A FEW FOR A WORK FORCE FOR HUMANS#THEY JUST SENT AN ELDRITCH ROBOT SHAPED NUKE TO DESTROY THE BIGGEST MUTANT POPULATION AND ONLY SAFE HAVEN !!!!!!#WHAT PLAN DO YOU HAVE FOR THE BASTION ISSUE???? OR DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT WHOLE 'VIOLENCE ISN'T THE ANSWER' SHIT APPLIES#WHEN THE OTHER GUY IS SO TICKLED WITH HIS WORK COMMITTING A GENOCIDE HE'S PLAYING FUCKING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER ON AND TALKING ABOUT MEMOS#LOOK FOR THE DIPSHITS IN THE BACK-- DOCTOR FUCKING DOOM EVEN CALLED IT A WAR CRIME AND TOLD BASTION TO WATCH HIS BACK#WHEN DOCTOR DOOM THINKS YOU SUCK SHIT YOU'RE PRETTY VILE#BUT NO LET'S FUCKING TALK IT OUT#LET'S JUST ASK REAL NICE FOR THE UN TO GIVE MORE AID EVEN THO THEY'RE ACTIVELY PULLING OUT AND CLEARLY NOT INTERESTED IN GETTING INVOLVED!!#OR HOW ABOUT THE AVENGERS!!!!! OH WAIT!!! CAP WOULD ONLY WORK WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF US LAW AND INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SENTINELS ARE REAL AND IN THE FUTURES OF RACHEL AND BISHOP MUTANTS ARE IN FUCKING CONCENTRATION CAMPS#BUT NO OKAY MAGNETO'S GONE TOO FAR OKAY I GET IT#i feel like i'm on crazy pills are before FOR REAL RIGHT NOW?!??!!!
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i noticed the similarities between fnowae and pavlove about a year and a half ago?? something like that. and quite frankly, while i could panegyrize fob’s entire discography till the end of time, specifically hearing those songs back to back, hearing, “i’m the invisible man who can’t stop staring at the mirror,” followed by, “i’m just the man on the balcony, singing ‘nobody will ever remember me’” made me absolutely spiral. like…both songs feel like they’re about this heart wrenching, soul crushing loneliness and just wanting someone to understand, to feel the way you do, to just fucking get it already, but the difference is in the way they see that. the different perspectives.
to fully explain this i think it’s important to fully understand the amadeus of it all for which i cannot recommend enough zero’s post about fnowae.
to use some of their words/phrasing, the quote itself as the title…fascinates me. it is salieri (in this instance, pete) repudiating god, declaring him to be his mortal enemy from here on for having the nerve to bestow upon amadeus (patrick) such brilliance (and i will be referring to him as amadeus because that feels like it might be a little cleaner than calling him mozart throughout this whole Thing etc etc etc). to mock salieri’s mediocrity. he is so envious of amadeus that he feels amadeus’s gifts are a divine punishment from god himself. “from now on we are enemies, you and i.”
what does all of that have to do with pavlove, though? amadeus is the gifted one, whom salieri finds to be insufferably annoying, but staggeringly brilliant. indescribably so (the fact that they do eventually befriend one another, and when amadeus dies, it essentially drives salieri insane and many years later he even claims he murdered amadeus, despite the fact that amadeus was sick, having worked himself to exhaustion and death……all of that is another can of worms i don’t…i don’t have it in me to crack open right now). “nobody will ever remember me, rejoice and fall to your knees.” “i want to make you as lonely as me, so you can get addicted to this.” bone crushing loneliness clawing at the door like a dog just begging for companionship. i need someone, please be that someone. i don’t know what to do if i don’t have someone. but maybe it’s for the best. but i can’t leave well enough alone (historically, “i don’t do too well on my own”) so i need you to feel what i feel. empty. isolated. lonely. then maybe you’ll need me the same way i need you.
“their faces are dancing till they can’t stand it.” being the outsider, the wallflower, the lone observer, because what else can you do? what else is there to do? it’s three drinks too late to talk to anyone but myself. who even wants to be there with the lunatic on a downward spiral entirely of his own design, who has faded so seamlessly into the background that he doesn’t even know who he is or if he even exists anymore. getting worse till there’s nothing left.
from now on we are enemies is pete vs patrick. two brilliant artists duking it out because one is so enamored with, but absolutely cannot stand, the brilliance of the other. pavlove is…different. more distanced. it’s the realization. and if pavlove is the realization, from now on we are enemies is the final showdown.
pavlove is misery with the life he’s cultivated, with the parties and the tabloids running rampant in the 2000s. the drugs he’d been doing that his best friend didn’t even fully realize the severity of because, in his mind, drug abuse was this abstract thing that he couldn’t quite comprehend. fnowae is the culmination of isolating oneself from those which he loves and cares about, because he’s so lost in his misery.
“what good comes of something when i’m just the ghost of nothing?” because progression in any capacity is a threat to your self preservation. creative integrity, personal growth, whatever it is, it has begun to feel like it’s unattainable because the risk is too high. so what’s the point? it’s a three-and-two pitch to walk to anywhere else. so stay where you are. don’t bother. patrick is brilliant, patrick is gifted and he doesn’t even know it and i’m just a painter looking at the walls trying to finger paint and he’s the only one who has been able to finish these half-baked paintings i throw at him. if this thing is breaking down, what am i good for?
trick question. stalemate. stay right here. if anything, move back.
but there’s a wife to try to make a life with and a child on the way and if i do move forward, who’s to say i don’t just find new ways to make it all worse? my anchor has started to completely detach—get engaged, make a solo record, make himself a life, eventually…soon, even—and i’m let out to sea all on my own and i don’t want to be here, i wanted to go back to land. i wasn’t prepared to still be here. but somehow, i am, and i don’t know what to do. i’m the just the man on the balcony, singing, “nobody will ever remember me,” because amadeus over here is doing the things that are worthwhile. he’s the one people will revere, and i will fade in the distance as the blurry shadow whose features have smudged and disappeared with time, because my contributions pale in comparison to his genius, because i wasn’t blessed with the ability to sing or write music or do so many of the ten billion things he is capable of. because who knows how i’ll be remembered now that the ship i’ve spent the last 8 years manning is possibly about to sink and maybe that means that will be my legacy, if i even have a legacy. if anyone remembers that i was ever here. but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to be remembered. that doesn’t mean i like what i’ve become, how my meaning has become dependent on the twin skeleton beside me. i’m the invisible man who can’t stop staring at the mirror. begging to be remembered…because that’s the point of it all, right?
i said it at the beginning, fall out boy had to be fall out boy and leave the world on a cliffhanger for three years. but it’s been 14 years since believers never die vol 1. we know what happens next. we’ve read the next chapter, watched the sequel, seen how it all pans out. they get to be happy middle aged men playing these songs, reclaiming the trauma and horrors and pain within them, making them into newer, happier memories, because they’re not about that pain anymore. and they haven’t been for a long time. they haven’t been theirs in ages. and so they can finally let it go, with their spouses and kids in the audience cheering them on (well, maybe not the kids. they’re dads, after all, they can’t think they’re cool). with stronger bonds between them and a stronger sense of self in each of them. because they’re not defined by each other anymore, no, this is their fun little art project. patrick composes for a living now (a composer but never composed, who always saw himself as a composer first, now literally a composer by trade), joe and pete each have multiple different ventures they explore in their free time (the symphonies of the overdosed, now being sung by yourself because you don’t need someone else to do it for you anymore), andy is in a million different bands at any given time. they don’t need each other—they don’t need to be defined by each other—they want to be with each other now.
no amadeus, no salieri, no jealousy, no enemies in sight, just four dudes who love making music together. who can make music on their own, who do make music on their own and/or separate from fall out boy, but can’t make their music without all of them together. at the end of the day, “no matter how obsessed you’ve been with your own vanishing, there will always be someone who still wants you whole.”
#i have gone fully insane im sorry#this has been festering for SO LONG and ive had so much to say but always felt super worried that my analysis was like#somehow Not Good Enough (despite the fact that any interpretation of art is valid i somehow believed mine would be the one wrong one)#and now with the collective insanity over fnowae after they played it#felt like as good a time as any to go crazy#besides who’s gonna read the whole thing atp skxosoxkskdi#whatever. going insane etc etc what the fuck everrrr#but yeah. pavlove and from now on we are enemies are a matching set do not separate!!!!#analysis.txt#fall out boy#patrick stump#pete wentz#joe trohman#andy hurley#fob#from now on we are enemies#pavlove#believers never die#folie a deux
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My new hobby is skimming through seasons of Ninj//ago to induce a fever dream like state in my psychese
#I've always had kinda like....petty beef with ninj//ago just cause like. EVERYONE compares it to monkie kid#When they r just not comparable beyond the surface level observation that its legos#Like ninj//ago contributes to the idea of an Asian monolith and uh. It's annoying to me.#It's also so thematically empty and they just reset shit whenever and it barely has characters. It's not good#Which makes me feel crazy when lmk is SO good. Like so so so good#Let it be known I've seen all that's out of drag//on rising#the first 3 seasons of the og show. And I skimmed through possession seabound and both crystal king parts#Gotta say. Sea Nya slaps like what the hell#Ninj//ago isn't good but that was legitimately like. Awesome#So there are officially 1 and a half episodes that I find thematically banging#I'm always a sucker for there being no good choice but still having to choose. Like I am. What decision can you live with#But Nya losing herself to the Sea? Losing her own breath and inhaling the sea to remove the water out of Jay's lungs?#The fact that she only became the water ninja because her friends needed her which eventually pushed her into this fate#Making it so she couldn't remember who she was or what her loved ones meant to her?#Her convo with nyad was like#duuddeeeeeeeeeee. brooooooo#Like she became eternal and endless. A force of nature but there was still a small part of her that remembered what ''good'' is#The part of her that would save a sailor who had gone overboard even if it went against the natural course of the ocean#Because there is no right or wrong there. Except in the small drop of Nya that was left#Like what the FUCK that's CRAZYYY BRO#Like she literally had to pull herself out of herself (the sea) to keep ''Nya'' together like. oh my god. How the cookie crumbles I guess#ninjago critical#anyways I've been losing my mind about Sea Nya and how nothing else in ninja//go is like it I needed to get it off my chest#sea nya
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#in theory I should really see a therapist about the fact that anytime I AM in danger or feeling the urge to risk it all to fight#my first and ONLY thought is ‘my mom is already dead fam. I got nothing else so let’s box’#which isn’t true at all I have a husband and friends who would probs be GUTTED if I was gone#but try explaining that to crazy bitch marq#not happening. she don’t give a fuck.#so yeah ✨therapy✨
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twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao
#man fuck yall just support artists you enjoy#dont attack people who dont rb/rt your art (hell they might even have it scheduled) but also dont constantly demand ''content'' from people#ESPECIALLY without telling them that you appreciate the effort they put in to show you cool things they made for free#you should've been rt'ing/rb'ing from the START 😒 just show people you care!#im just waiting to scroll through post after post of ppl calling out ''entitled artists'' lmao#btw my opinion on the whole thing is painfully neutral if you couldnt tell#i dont think you should care that much about numbers and ppl take it wayyyyyy too far#throwback to that one guy who personally @ everyone who didnt reblog their art that was CRAZY. i would straight up report you KJFGHKG#i also understand and have personally experienced how much engagement can change your mood#a simple ''i love this!'' can make someone's day. it's not hard to understand why ppl like engagement#when they make post after post without so much as a little tag they dont care about sharing anymore#the fact that people call that ''entitlement'' is also crazy#i have a lot of drawings i havent posted or just left nonrebloggable bc it really doesnt make a difference lmao#the only ones i leave rebloggable are the ones that i Know will do well and get attention. like the little pig redraw#if it's cute or funny it gets positive attention. anything else is shit on here lmao#it's just not as fun to share. it either leads to no engagement or negative engagement#would rather have nothing than something rude so whatever#some ppl say it's always been like this but no it absolutely was not always like this#idk what exactly caused the change. probably a lot of factors#could even just be the fandoms i hang around in! but considering i've seen the same sentiment from a bunch of ppl i doubt it's that#the best solution to no engagement is to just make friends and have fun#but 90% of the internet is hostile and negative and rude for no fucking reason#when i unfollowed someone on my old public twitter and they @ me over it. damn i dont know why but NOW i know why 😭#this post has gone way off course im just ranting at this point. i havent talked in a while hi how have you guys been#work was a lot yesterday and today is too slow (im not at work im just going crazy in my house)#(and i cant leave my house bc there's construction blocking the road someone save me)#chat
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wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.
#vent#for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode#like constantly#from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived#to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week#and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally#not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic#and now someone died in my family#not someone very close but i liked them#and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing#because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter#so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with#because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter..#i'd just want a week where nothing happens#and like the writing is weighing heavy on me#because i miss it#also i wish i could finish something#i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off#also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit#i bought new furniture#because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly#which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself#just because i was too burnt out to write#and i wanted something nice to happen to me#like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice#and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns#and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken#because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid#yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job#long pathetic whine and overshare over
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okay. so I was never super big on roy/jamie/keely. but uh. that episode. huh. well. I think I'm sold now.
#ted lasso spoilers#roy x jamie x keeley#roy kent#jamie tartt#keely jones#cause if you had asked me at the start of this season if I thought there was any chance of them actually happening?#i would of said FUCK no#but with they way things have gone this season...#and sooo much of this episode seemed soooo so deliberate like.#it was not roy being worried or keely being worried they were worried TOGETHER and helped jamie TOGETHER#and jamie had both of them on his wall?? right next to each other?? huh?? why'd the camera pan to that so specifically???#keely linking arms with BOTH OF THEM#and stop me if im crazy but them coming in to celebrate with jamie as he soaks his ankle feels kind of similar to keely coming in to comfor#roy after his last game in s1...#like pessimistic brain is saying ''ain't no way'' but i also thought keely being canonically bi was never going to happen either so#honestly. it might happen.#it might
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i was so set on replaying veilguard for the davrinmance but oh my god im SO attached to my agent-of-fenharel hardingmancer rn i actually think the choice is out of my hands lol
#oc: evander#datv#tay plays datv#datv spoilers#deia's brother btw !!!! very much giving anders vibes if anders was kind of deadbeat oldest son who frequents the club#him having sold out the inquisition on solas's instruction and then falling for one of the scouts who was hurt the most by it#very much a mirror to solavellan except theyre literally just people and ultimately victims of their leader's organizations overarching war#and harding being sympathetic to solas enough to reach evanders conscience even during Peak radicalization#but holding solas accountable enough to potentially sway evanders mind#and then evander learning the truth about solas but also specifically what that means for harding the person hes grown to love#having to reconcile that his own rebel-fantasy is not more important than the very real pain his loved ones have gone thru as a result#and like figuring out what going forward looks like. is he STILL sympathetic but its tempered? or does he go full anti-solas in an act of#redemption which would also probably involve him telling harding to embrace her anger and not her loving side?? which is kind of the invers#of his own arc.#GOD.#AND THEN ITS LIKE. DO I KILL OFF HARDING AT THE END???? THAT WOULD BE SOOOOO CRAZY FOR THE *STORY*#i think she has to live actually bc i hate the fridged wife trope and solas Is ultimately redeemed in this worldstate#and if harding died bc of solas (and evanders varricmancer sister also lost varric) evander WOULD be team kill immediately no exceptions#but still food for thought#god. chat i am fucking COOKING today this is crazy#hes not technically my rook bc he works way better in the story as a ~companion~ to deia (his sister) the actual protag#but both he and matthas (the other pro-inquisition brother) could arguably have been the Rook as well.#all 3 of the mercar siblings were AT the ritual but for different reasons (evander to aid solas. matthas to kill solas. deia to stop him)#so MAYBE I WILL romance harding instead this time...... how are we feeling abt hardings romance babes is it good. do we recommend
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they (sm, gda) really dragged him (taem) to the navel of this great country (the godforsaken industry) and found themselves a newer, Younger, Bouncier Cool Girl
#taemin im SO fucking sorry sm is shit#this is about guilty being good enough to be performed at award shows but taemin is too much of a hag they gave it to some random ass guy#taemin is so sweet abt it too i would have gone into killing spree#guilty came out 2 MONTHS AGO! hes still promoting it!!#crazy…. if it was danger or pyn there would be no issue#christ im so angry we could have seen taemin perform guilty himself and instead we would have a mid performance by some rookie guy#if they wanna thrist trap so bad thay can do pyn guilty is for tempered steel#taemin#.txt
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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