#i would be interested in your thoughts very much 👀

[anemoyuri]

my brain worms told me to do this

[mad-hunts]

as far as jack could tell, jervis was really out of it; and it made him wonder it was due to something that had happened while he was out with his father, or when they'd gotten here. perhaps both. jack gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to jervis's hands, which were flexing like he was struggling with something. an eyebrow rose as jack contemplated asking whether he needed some pain medication.

since he didn't receive an answer to his question yet, jack figured he might as well introduce himself. ❝ uhh, well, you don't have to talk to me if you aren't feeling up to it. my sister told me that you fainted in front of her out there — so, i understand if you're still feeling sick. my name is jack, ❞ he scratched at the back of his neck as he continued to observe jervis. whenever the man tried to get up, jack approached him and was about to caution jervis that maybe he shouldn't by lightly touching his shoulder.

but he remembered matilda telling him something about the other really not liking to be touched, so he merely was going to verbally tell him. up until jervis laid back down himself, anyhow. jack couldn't hold himself back from frowning at his poor present state before venturing out of the room with a 'i'll be right back.' and indeed he had been, with two different vials, alongside a few syringes to inject into that IV bag: should jervis want to be medicated. jack figured it'd be easier to just do that rather than forcing him to swallow anything.

he placed those also on the table before tilting his head at the quote jervis had said until it clicked a few seconds later, ❝ that's a quote from through the looking glass, isn't it? and one that the red queen said in the story if i remember correctly. she was basically teaching alice that staying in the same place is falling behind, right? ❞ jack squinted his eyes at that before a thought came to mind. a soft snort left him, but one that was done of an innocent sort of amusement rather than malice. ❝ that is a kind of roundabout way of talking about survival of the fittest. but hey, lewis carroll was all about the whimsy of things, i guess. and its no big deal. ❞

jack pretended not to see the tears that the other shed for jervis's own sake. the blood on his lips was something he couldn't ignore, no matter how hard he tried, though. jack grabbed a washcloth from his pack and held it out towards's jervis's hand. once it was out of his hand was when jack set down that teacup, the slightly too long stripped pants he wore swaying across the ground. ❝ mm, you and dad were both asleep for nearly four hours. sure — i don't think that's silly at all. i keep something on me all the time from when my brother, julien, was still around. ❞ the bracelet he showed the other on his right wrist then seemed to be made up entirely of tiny conch shells.

julien was a big fan of the sea, which jack thought made his death all the more crushing. after seeing the state that the stuffed animal was in, he figured that that bunny must've been really loved; though it didn't really matter by whom it was. the end result was the same, as love changes you. jack knew this well as he'd never wanted anything more than to be embraced by the warmth of it.

he quickly shook that thought off, only to grab the two vials he got from the fridge once more. ❝ eh... the four hours actually went by rather fast. ❞ jack cleared his throat then, ❝ you know, i couldn't help but notice that you aren't looking so hot still, and so i grabbed some meds for you. but i won't force you to take them. i have a pain reliever as well as something that relieves vertigo. are either, or both of these, something you want? ❞

Eigengrau.

A faint hum buzzed in his ears; his mouth was so dry it felt like he’d swallowed a wad of wool.

The thin sheet beneath him brushed his fingertips as Jervis flexed his hands, cracking his eyes open a sliver. The room tilted, everything blurring at the edges. Ah… so he had fainted. Just as he’d suspected. No glasses, then.

"Hey. Ahh, you're awake… That's awesome. How are you feeling?"

The new voice was barely a whisper, young and uncertain—belonging to a boy, maybe sixteen or eighteen by the timber. Was this another of Barton's assistants, a friend of Matilda’s, or perhaps her brother? Jervis couldn’t quite remember; hadn't Barton mentioned something about having more than one child?

He winced, his body feeling heavy, leaden; aching everywhere. Slowly, he exhaled and tried to push himself upright—tried being the keyword. The effort brought only a wave of vertigo, dizzying and blue-hot, making his vision swim.

… ohh, god…

He swallowed thickly, curling into himself. Something wasn’t right. His glasses and gloves weren’t the only thing missing. He was in his socks, jeans, and a now damp charcoal t-shirt, his body slick with cold sweat. His graying auburn curls clung to his neck in tangled ropes. His boots were beside the cot, his messenger bag on a desk across the room. His overcoat and maroon button-down were draped over a chair.

A flicker of discomfort in his right arm. Burning. Tugging.

Jervis glanced down at the source: a plastic tube. A peripheral IV catheter.

"Ah, you know... 'It takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place,'" he muttered, his voice clipped and hollow; Bermudian accent casual, almost detached. He turned his eyes to the boy; offered him a faint, strained smile. "Keeps things interesting, I suppose... but I appreciate your concern, lad."

He lifted his fingers to his cheek, feeling the moisture trickle down—salt on his lips. Tears, sharp and stinging. Jervis flinched and quickly scrubbed them away with the heels of his hands.

Cold metal pressed into his spine, tight around his neck—the chain with his and Sylvie’s wedding rings twisted against his skin. He must’ve been thrashing in his sleep. There was blood on his lips.

"Forgive me…" His vision swam as he watched the boy set a teacup on the small table beside the cot, just within view. "But I'm afraid I've rather lost my sense of time. How long has it been since I…?" He paused, his voice barely steady. "... if... if you don’t mind, could you please reach into my coat pocket? You'll find a small cuddly toy. A rabbit..." He rubbed his mouth, lowered his eyes. "It sounds foolish, I know... but it... it was my daughter's, you see..."

The boy nodded, moving quickly to retrieve the toy from Jervis’ coat pocket, and placed it on the table beside the teacup. The bunny was missing one of its button eyes, its white fur faded and matted. A pink satin ribbon around its neck was frayed and tattered.

“Thank you,” Jervis said hoarsely. “I must have been out of it for quite a while.”

[griffonsgrove]

Hiiii!!! See your doing writing requests for Hazbin, Its my hyperfixation so I am in need of more content 👀 so I'd like to request maybe Vox general or NSFW headcanon ( either one is good lol-) with a afab reader maybe? This is my first time requesting something like this so sorry if I'm a little nervous or bad at requesting. I think this is how people are supposed to request? XD

General Dating Headcanons | Vox

a/n: You're totally alright dear! You said everything just fine! As I've stated before, I got early access to the first two episodes, and it's been so interesting to analyze vox's character! I hope I can do him justice!! He's starting to grow on me now. I'm gonna stick with a gn!reader just because these are general headcanons and I want them to be suited for anyone!

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

wordcount: 1299

cw: SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL, swearing, vulgar content, stalking, death and mentions of death/murder., toxic/absuive relationships.

(PLATONIC):

Vox’s got eyes EVERYWHERE in hell. There is no escaping his line of sight unless you go completely off the grid. Which is pretty difficult to do when the entirety of pentagram city is covered head to toe in VoxTech.

However, if you don't pose a threat to him, he really doesn't give a shit about you otherwise, and won’t pay that much attention to your life.

When you first fell into hell, you were mostly confused as to how you wound up here in the first place. That quickly subsided into fear as you noticed the large variety of demons and sinners casually walking down the sidewalk like it was an average tuesday. 

You’ll never forget the sight of seeing a demon gnaw off the arm of another and swallow it whole, like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

You wander aimlessly down the streets, keeping to yourself and being very cautious of those around you. Your clothes were in tatters, and you didn't have any form of money whatsoever, what were you to do??

You had two options: Somehow find a job in this new horrific realm, or, die.

You didn't care too much for the latter.

This is how you stumble across one of the largest studios/clubs in hell, owned by probably the most feared overlords in pentagram city. The V’s. 

You get hired to be nothing more than a waiter/waitress, to serve the patrons of the club, mostly serving them their drinks.

You weren't too fond of the work uniform either. It left nothing to the imagination, and exposed alot of skin, far too much to your liking. The job actually paid somewhat decently though and it was enough to be able to sustain a living. You were quick to rent out the nearest apartment.

One day, while you’re out on the main floor, making your rounds, your eyes briefly lock with the TV demon across a sea of sinners. Call it cheesy, but it was almost like a spark went off the moment he laid eyes on you. Which is something that doesn't happen often with the tech-savvy overlord. Who were you??

He lazily beckons you over with a claw, to which you obediently follow, although it doesn't hide the sheer nervousness written all over your face, He gives you his drink order in that sultry, velvet voice of his, eyeing you up. You gulp slightly and are quick to bring him his order. He thought you were so cute trembling for him.

He begins to stalk observe you closer after that. If you have any electronic devices he’ll watch you through your screens, trying to get a glimpse into what your life was like outside of work. The things you enjoyed doing in your free time, favorite shows, foods etc.

He def goes through your search history.

He would start showing up more in the sections you worked at, oftentimes minding his business, but occasionally striking up a conversation with you.

You did have to admit he was quite the charmer, his smooth voice was hypnotic to you.

OBSESSIVE TENDENCIES. If he notices some creep won't leave you alone while you're working, he’ll take care of them personally, it’s never a pretty sight afterwards. He cant have anyone taking what's his.

You're oblivious to his stalking and possessiveness, you don't think much of it, maybe that's because he puts on a friendly face when you’re around him.

But after some time of getting to know you, He’s the one that eventually asks you out on a “date”. You’re skeptical at first, but decide to accept his offer. And also partially because you were afraid of what would happen if you said no.

(ROMANTIC):

Ngl it’s kind of a situationship in the beginning.

Vox is a busy man, it’s constant work maintaining the studios (especially valentinos temper) and managing the entirety of hell's technology. So, he may ghost you at first.

That being said, He will still keep an eye on you. He often watches through your phone while you sleep, just to make sure you’re safe. Hell is a dangerous place after all.

Speaking of, you’re now under the protection of the V’s, so that’s a plus! You never have to worry about another demon laying a finger on you. They usually never get close enough to anyways.

He very easily gets jealous. He won't show it on the outside because he has an image to uphold, but you can tell every time from that crazed look in his eyes.

Vox is a possessive lover; he wants to keep you all to himself. If he could, he’d keep you locked up by his side all day.

CONTROLLING. He HAS to know where you’re at, at all times, and who you’re going to be with (lest you face one of his tantrums). Also dictates what you wear, He likes to dress you up to his liking, like you’re his own personal doll.

Insecure much?

Say goodbye to privacy btw. He constantly has you in the back of his mind and a watchful eye on you. It can be kind of suffocating at times. The two of you have gotten into a few arguments because of this.

Valentino gets jealous of you too. How dare you take his boy-toy away from him? He’s often giving you the stink eye and will threaten you behind vox’s back. You’re too scared to tell Vox, because you don't want to face Val’s wrath.

You know briefly of his and Val’s “relationship” it all had seemed very one-sided and completely unhealthy.

You're often having to calm Vox down. The man has a very short temper and is easily provoked. 

Imagine you pressing little kisses to his screen after he found out about Alastor’s return. He remains stoic, but secretly enjoys your affection.

Some of the pet names he loves to call you include; Doll, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart, Babe.

Pretty old-fashioned ik, but he's a classy man alright?

He tends to be pretty touchy, always having a clawed hand on the small of your back, or an arm wrapped around your waist. It’s more of a possessive trait of his, to keep what's his close.

He loves having you sprawled on his lap while he’s in his screen room, you stay nuzzled into his side, often taking naps while he does broadcasts.

He TOTALLY spoils you btw. He’s one of the most powerful overlords in hell, ofc he has the money to show it. Whatever dingy apartment you had before, forget about it bc this man has you living in a penthouse suite in one of the most expensive apartment buildings. He sees you looking at something in a store or online?? Boom, it’s yours now.

He loves buying you clothes, as I’ve said before, you're his “doll” and he loves playing dress up with you.

And if you buy him something?? He’s taken by surprise at first, he’s never really been on the receiving end of that affection, so whatever it is you give him he’ll cherish it.

If you ever have someone bothering you, or want to get rid of, you just say the word babe. He’ll be feeding them to his sharks >:)

The man is emotionally constipated, ok?? All he’s ever known from relationships is what he shared with Val (and trust me that was a train wreck). He’s rough around the edges, short-tempered and isn't always easy to get along with, and he’s incredibly possessive which can be suffocating to deal with at times. This probably stems from him not wanting to actually be alone, He doesn't want you to slip out of his grasp, so he keeps a tight leash on you. But underneath all these flaws, he really does love you and care about you. At the end of the day, He just wants someone that will stay.

[starlightervarda]

I can't sleep so Star Trek TOS/SNW dashboard simulator

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

to this day I can't understand why they're called the Three Musketeers if there's FOUR of them? Did Dumas just forget his own main character???

🪴 plantdad Follow

You've got to be kidding me

🪆 chekovsgunman Follow

I know right? A mistake like this would never happen in Russian literature!

5,324 notes

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

After months of taking care of everyone else on this giant tin can I really earned this shore leave. Now I get to drink, relax, flirt with some lovely ladies and sleep until noon 😎 Just what the the doctor ordered!

🩺 therealmccoy Follow

Update: A fucking purple tree ate five crewmen. Again.

955 notes

🖖 iamspock Follow

Despite being among humans for close to a decade, I still find their tendency to overcomplicate and avoid aspects of social situations to be confusing at best and infuriating at worst. So much time is wasted on tedious matters such as who gets to 'make the first move' or 'not come off too strong'.

For example, everyone aboard my vessel is keenly aware of Lt. Uhura and Engineer Scott's 'budding romance'. But their need to extend their oddly avoidant courtship ritual, rather than outright state their interest in one another, is pointless, as well as frustrating to witness.

Why do they do this? Why not 'get it over with', as they say?

I encourage answers from all cultures, human or otherwise.

💅 janicethemenace Follow

I'm sorry Scotty and Nyota are WHAT

💉 xtinechapel Follow

DELETE THIS

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

SPOCK NOOO HE DOESN'T THINK OF ME LIKE THAT 😭

🔧 scott-free Follow

But I do! I thought you knew and were just being nice about it!

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

DMing you rn 😳

🖖 iamspock Follow

You're welcome.

24,103 notes

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

PSA: If you visit Antares VII, stay clear of any yellow plants, their pollen can have some...inconvenient effects on the biology of humanoid peoples.

My XO and I suffered through troubling symptoms until it was almost too late. Thankfully, we figured out a cure in time.

🪴 plantdad Follow

I can only find info on the symptoms. What was the cure? 👀

🌟 j_tiberius_k Follow

Do I really have to say it?

6,322 notes

💊 mmmbenga Follow

The galaxy if Klingons didn't exist

⚔️ glorytotheempire Follow

Wow. Humans are openly advocating for our disappearance yet Klingons are the bad guys? I thought your federation stood for peace.

💊 mmmbenga Follow

Cry harder you genocidal wrinkly-faced bitch I hope your planet gets sucked into a black hole

#If you think a joke is on par with what they do then book an MRI because you might have brain damage #fuck Klingons and anyone that sympathizes with them

35,007 notes

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

So I can either skim through this asteroid belt on Warp 2 for 3 hrs or on Warp 5 for 15 mins

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

Erica no! That's not how navigation works!

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

FLOOR IT???

🚀 mitchiemitch Follow

ERICA NO

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

HOW ABOUT WARP 7 FOR 15 SECONDS?

💖 ofmanytongues Follow

ERICA YOU'RE GOING TO CRASH THE SHIP

😎 ortegaaaas Follow

I AM GOING TO HARNESS LIGHT-SPEED TO ZIGZAG THROUGH THE VOID

🚀 mitchiemitch

ERICA P L E A S E

112,517 notes

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

I know some species are very private, but you'd think they'd share the important stuff, esp when we should trust each other by now.

How are we supposed to enjoy my weekly dinners if you all don't tell me what to watch out for :/ This is the third time this happens to the same person and I had to get the answer why from our CMO

💫 numerouna Follow

Wait what did I miss while I was gone

🐴 sirsilverfox Follow

Spock got wasted on my chocolate fudge cake and hit his head on the counter ://///

2,904 notes

[avocado-writing]

The idea of Wade as a used car salesman found a love of his life during his midlife crisis before he met Logan. They don’t have a clue that he’s Deadpool. They just fall in love with Wade the used car salesman Wade Wilson, even see him as a funny, harmless person till one day his partner showing a picture of Deadpool and goes “He looks hot, could we find some costume to wear next time we fuck, dear?”

Wade totally forgot that he’s retired from Deadpool cause he’s in his suit, ready to fuck the love of his life for eternity. 👀

Wade Wilson knew he was in love the first time you cried laughing over one of his stupid jokes.

You’re probably too good for him with your easy smile and kind heart, and he knows he’s punching above his weight when he asks you out - but somehow you end up saying yes. 

At the bar that night he keeps you laughing until there are tears in your eyes and then continues the show in bed. It’s so lovely to have you all giggly under him, pressed into the mattress as he makes you cum so hard all you can do is moan. 

You lie there, walking your fingers up and down his chest, molasses-slow as the streetlights outside your apartment silhouette you both in fluorescence. 

“I like you, Wade. You’re nice,” you sigh, in a way which suggests you don’t often meet nice people. Ah man, he fucking melts. He’s never letting you go. 

Your relationship is pretty easy. He never feels like he has to work to impress you or keep you onside, you like him for him. It’s a… refreshing feeling, from a world where Wade Wilson constantly feels like he’s too much. 

He catches the Deadpool keyring on your house keys one night after the two of you have grabbed pizza on the way home; spotting the telltale red and black while trying to keep a pile of boxes in place between his hands and his chin. 

“Oh, Deadpool fan?” he asks, trying to affect nonchalance. He sees you get a little flustered. 

“I mean… yeah? Back in his heyday I thought he was cute, kind’ve a shame he disappeared. Merc with a mouth, what’s not to love?” you pause for a second. “He reminds me of you actually.”

Wade laughs at that way too loud and way too hard.

“What? No. That’s crazy!”

You throw him a side-eye but don’t comment further. 

He lets it rest for a couple of days so as not to draw suspicion, but when you make yourself a cup of coffee and his own mask is staring back at him from the ceramic, he can’t hide his wandering eyes. 

“What’s up?” you ask. 

“Nothing. Just didn’t realise they made those.” He didn’t get a cut. Should he have gotten a cut? Would have been nice if whoever had merchandised his face had asked him if he was cool with it.  

“Oh, look, everyone has a crush on at least one superhero, okay? It’s impossible not to. They’re everywhere and they’re hot!”

He lets himself digest this. You think Deadpool is a superhero? He didn’t get that much. Mostly he was referred to as “god’s curse to crimefighting”. But also you have a crush on him? Both of these facts are… interesting. 

“I… think Deadpool is hot, too,” Wade blurts out when he realises he’s been silent for ten uninterrupted seconds. 

“Oh,” you reply, settling down a little when it turns out he’s in agreement with you. “Well, cool! Glad we can agree.”

Phew. Got outta that one, then. 

He really doesn’t think any more of it, or tries not to, until a couple of weeks later when you bring it up in bed. 

“Wade, can I ask something kinda kinky?”

Cuddled in post-coital bliss, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your skin, he pauses. 

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely, sweet cheeks. I’d be offended if you didn’t.”

“How do you feel about roleplay?”

He turns to you with a grin which threatens to split his face in half.

“Oh, you’ve been keeping that under your hat!” he laughs, “But, in answer to the question, very positive. What were you thinking? Cop and criminal? Nurse and patient? I’m down to play any of those roles by the way, I believe in equal gender opportunities in the bedroom.”

You chuckle, but when you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear and try to work out how to phrase the next part of the question, he cottons on. 

“Oh my god. You want me to roleplay Deadpool, don’t you?”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to! It’s just, you said you thought he was sexy… so I wondered…”

He puts a finger on your lips, stoppering the spill of panic from your lips. 

“Baby, I am so down to clown that you might as well call me Pennywise. Let me sort the details and I’ll give you the best night of in-character boning that’s ever been known to man.”

You look giddy at that promise. Truth be told, he’s kinda excited himself. 

Wade retrieves the suit the next day and feels a little weird putting it back on, covering his body again with red and black. When he’s done this in the past it’s in order to go and kill like, a lot of people, not to fulfil a fantasy. But hey - there’s a first time for everything. And it’ll make you so happy, too.

You scream when he taps on your window from his perch on your fire escape. Admittedly he should have told you he was coming, but he thought it could be a fun and sexy surprise. He was wrong. 

“WHAT THE FUCK—!”

Wade whips off the mask as you lunge for your kitchen knife set, hands up in a gesture of peace. 

“Baby! Babe, it’s just me!”

You go limp with relief, leaning against the counter to support yourself. 

“Holy shit! Wade, what the fuck do you think you’re…”

You trail off as you take in the picture of your boyfriend crawling in through the tiny window decked out in his suit. An eyebrow raises. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah! See, I told you I’d sort it.”

Anger and fear now completely ablated, you walk a slow circle around where he stands in your kitchen, appraising his look. 

“This is a high quality suit. Where did you get it?”

“Peter,” he says quickly. This isn’t a lie. He did get it from Peter… Peter’s locker anyway. You look confused. 

“Our coworker Peter?” When Wade nods you furrow your brow. “He… he hasn’t fucked in this suit, has he?”

“No!” says Wade with far too much force. Actually he can’t prove that. Now it’s an image he can’t shake from his mind. Not super conducive to the mood. 

He takes a knife from his belt, and your eyes go wide in a mixture of panic and arousal. 

“Oh my god…”

“It’s blunt! Well. It’s sharp enough for me to cut your underwear off, which I’ve been rocking a semi all day from imagining…”

From the smile which takes up your face, he knows he’s done right. 

Any way you ask him to fuck you, he does. Over your dresser. Against your wall. While running the dulled point of baby knife over the curve of your ass as he pistons his hips inside you, getting the mess of your cum all over the front of his suit. It’s filthy. It’s fantastic. 

But when you lay there cuddled up to his chest that night, Wade feels… conflicted. It isn’t that he’s lying to you, exactly, but it feels like he’s keeping a pretty fucking big secret. 

If you knew, would you still like him? Still want to be with him? Having a crush on a superhero is one thing, but being with one is entirely different. Ask any of the assorted Spider-Man and their various fucked up partners. It isn’t always pretty.

As if determined to take his mind away from this thought you nuzzle into his side, blissfully fucked out. He buries his lips into your hair. 

It never needs to be an issue. Deadpool is retired. He’s never gonna be used for non-kinky reasons again. 

…right?

taglist: @falsewordz @malfoys-demigod @belilwen @mildly-salted @tvwebs @childeslegstrap @getmeoutofhell @s1eep-o @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @yrthr @momopad @sugarplumz100 @captainjinkx @madspads @acrosstheunivcrse @yeethaw13 @na-is-salty @florduarte @hunterispunk @starfleetteddybear

[pupyuj]

→ “dreamlike.” || jang wonyoung x reader fic.

— with your forbidden thoughts and feelings plaguing your head, you failed to do the deed with your crush on a date. and so your stepsister gives you a taste of what you've been craving...

word count: 14.6k.

dynamic: dom!stepsister!jang wonyoung x sub!inexperienced!reader.

content warnings: stepcest, masturbation, mirror sex, unnie kink, praise kink, fingering, edging, voyeurism, exhibitionism (mildly).

requested? : yes!

‼️: this fic features ryujin of itzy as the reader's (second?) love interest!

a/n: i am so glad to tick this off my req checklist omg 😭😭😭 apologies to the anon who requested this months ago, this is for you! from pupyuj many months later 😭💔 i really didn't think i would write over 10k words since i predicted that i would only be writing 7k but i present you guys this big ass meal, i guess... 😭 sorry in advance for this long read but I REALLY HOPE THIS WAS AT LEAST FUN TO READ FOR YA'LL! expect the other requests to come soon 👀

for as long as you’ve known your step sister, which would be two years now, all she has done for you are good things. she helps you around the house, was quick to befriend you and get you comfortable around her father (your stepdad) and herself, made the effort to get along with your mother, and has treated you like family way more than some other immediate blood relatives of yours did. there was no doubt that you couldn’t ask for a better older sister than jang wonyoung, and she continues to prove that the more she hangs out with you!

wonyoung has done a lot of favors for you—some you didn’t even ask for. she didn’t have to make so much time in her schedule just to show you around the city after you and your mother officially moved in with her and her father, but she did. she didn’t have to become your personal campus tour guide when you enrolled at your new college (that she also attended), but she did. she didn’t have to throw a surprise birthday party for you in your first year of being sisters, but she did! you like to tell wonyoung that you would love to give back to everything she has done for you, but she always told you that it wasn’t necessary because she was just fulfilling her role as your older sister.

and today, you just so happen to need her god-given older sister wisdom and guidance… for a cute date! as soon as your crush turned a corner after you’ve agreed to have her take you out on a date in the coming weekend, you immediately turned around and pulled out your phone, texting your reliable older sister.

sliding your phone inside one of your pockets, you started leaving the building with a skip in your step. the hallways were silent with only muffled chatter and the thought of shin ryujin accompanying you on your way out. you blushed as you remembered her vibrant smile when you said ‘yes’ to her date proposal—it looked like she had been nervous before she asked you and was very relieved that you didn’t turn her down. but in what world would you have rejected her, anyway? she was your dream girl! and ever since your first date together, which was only three weeks ago, you have been wanting to see her again.

the two of you have only been texting and chatting in the halls regularly but being in different programs made it hard for either of you to make time. not to mention the nerves! you had no idea if ryujin wanted to go on a date with you again even when you knew full well that she enjoyed her last one with you. it was wonyoung who cleared you of your doubts and worries, told you that if ryujin wasn’t stupid she would absolutely want to be with you, and she was even the one who gave you good advice on how to initiate something she calls ‘the first-date skinship’! it was only wonyoung’s natural big-sister-instinct to want to help you with your second date, and you really couldn’t have asked for a better guide!

arriving at the parking lot, you spotted wonyoung in the sea of cars, leaning on her own sleek, cherry red chevy as she reapplied some gloss on her plump lips. you noticed that she was strangely glammed up on a tuesday where you knew her classes were fairly boring and totally not worth all the effort of looking decent, let alone fabulous. she must have plans—besides taking you out shopping, that is. she spots you once you were halfway across the lot, and her smile lights up the entire area, in your eyes anyway. 

you happily walked faster until you were right in front of her, “hi, unnie!” you greeted with a sweet smile that she returned with a pinch of your cheek.

“hey there, lovergirl. you look so happy! it’s cute,” wonyoung spots how your cheeks flushed. surely enough she now knows about how you kept thinking about ryujin on the walk towards this place, and speaking of the devil, she followed your gaze to the car a few spots away from her own, where ryujin and a few of her best friends were standing and chatting comfortably around in. as if she sensed that someone was staring at her, ryujin turns her head and locks eyes with you. you froze up, both embarrassed and terrified that you were caught practically drooling over your crush by… your crush! it was only when wonyoung subtly nudged you that you managed to give ryujin a shy wave, which the latter returned just as shyly and got teased by her friends for it. “oh wow, you two are so into each other.” wonyoung laughed as you turned away from ryujin with burning hot cheeks.

“i’m happy i trusted you and didn’t let my preconceived notions of her stop you from going on that first date. she seems like a good egg. now, anyway.” wonyoung says as she subtly studies ryujin. a once drop-out, repeater of classes, and a reputation for being the token ‘player’ of her little group… wonyoung had all the right to doubt ryujin when you first told her that you had a crush on her. it didn’t help that ryujin looked the part of a player too! even wonyoung herself thought that little smirk of hers was quite charming, but after hearing all of the things you said about ryujin and how she treated you so kindly… well, wonyoung had to give her a chance!

and clearly, shin ryujin did not disappoint.

“if this second date goes well, i’ll properly introduce you both. if you’d like! it doesn’t look like it but you guys have similar interests and i think you’ll get along well.” you said, immediately getting reminded of how much you talked about your perfect wonyoung-unnie to ryujin on that first date. thinking about it now was embarrassing, but it made your heart skip a beat when you remember how ryujin didn’t seem to mind anything ‘strange’ that you did. she just looked happy to be hanging out with you! oh, you could fall in love, really.

“whoa there, maybe save the introductions when you’ve been dating for at least two months.” wonyoung teased, smiling widely at how you just ducked into the passenger seat to avoid eye contact with her. wonyoung sits herself down in the driver’s seat, more than happy to let you hog the speakers with your music while she checks herself one last time in her mirrors.

“ah, do you have a date, unnie?” you asked, your eyes carefully studying your step sister’s every facial feature. in your eyes, jang wonyoung was the definition of ‘flawless’. perfect face, perfect body, perfect personality, perfect heart, perfect lips… sometimes you envied her, but every time you voiced out some of your insecurities to her, she would tell you to be quiet and that you’re perfect in her eyes. you appreciated her greatly because of that and she has increased your confidence in every aspect of yourself! add ‘perfect older sister’ in that list.

“oh, god no,” wonyoung says as she slowly pulls out of her spot. she waves at a couple students that were walking by, and you even spot some who waved at you as well. you returned their greetings with a sweet smile before wonyoung completely drove away from the parking lot, but she of course gave you some sweet seconds to wave at ryujin again before speeding off laughing. “why? did you think i would take you shopping not looking decent?” she asked.

“if your ‘decent’ looks like a pageant entry, then i’m afraid to find out what mine is.” you grumbled. it was almost an unhealthy habit of yours to nitpick your appearance, but wonyoung was quick to make all of that go away.

“yours is winning the pageant in question, of course.” wonyoung said. her words laced with nothing but sincerity, it made you smile.

“i appreciate the lie, unnie.” you replied, laughing.

wonyoung whines, “i don’t lie, (y/n)-ah. you know this!”

the ride to the nearest outlet mall was filled with casual chatter and laughs. you tried to convince wonyoung to go to a less… well, expensive mall but she insisted that it was the perfect time to spend her allowance! and then you begged her not to spend her money on you, and she blissfully ignored you. ever the doting one she is. the entire time you sat on that passenger seat, you were fixing your makeup using the little mirror in the visor, grumbling when you noticed how ‘off’ you looked with how your makeup had worn off throughout the day. and so you get to ‘fixing’ your appearance, but not before noticing that wonyoung’s eyes kept drifting from the road to you.

“what, unnie?”

you hear wonyoung hum, “nothing. you know you don’t need too much of that, right…? you’re so pretty.”

“i’m not about to go into a mall for rich kids with my gorgeous older sister looking like i just woke up from hibernation.” you joked, giggling when wonyoung scoffs and shakes her head.

“trust me. you’re more beautiful than you think.” wonyoung pinches your cheek and before you could deny or say anything back, she speeds off into the highway, giving you no choice but to sit back and relax. you already knew that wonyoung was going to be the one to dress you up for the entirety of this little outing so you didn’t waste your brainpower trying to think of any outfits to put together. instead, you opted to stare at the clouds with ryujin in your head, accompanied by a lovesick smile on your face which was made worse because of the romantic songs playing through the speakers.

once you arrived at the outlet mall, wonyoung wasted no time and took you by the hand before tugging you towards clothing stores that had prices worth more than you think they deserve for being merely… well, clothing.

“u-unnie, this is way too expensive for a skirt! please, i do not need this!” you said after nearly fainting looking at the price tag of a cute, frilly black skirt that wonyoung picked out for you.

“i told you already: don’t worry about it. and less talking, more looking!” wonyoung puts the skirt in a bag, moving on to a rack of some if the prettiest blouses you have ever seen. from the colors to the material—it was all very rich, and you haven’t even included the prices there!

“so! what kind of outfit would you like to wear for this date? preppy? cutesy? maybe even sexy?” wonyoung teased with a smirk. you blushed madly at the suggestion, looking away to hide your cheeks as well as your burning ears. “aww, baby, you think about ryujin in that way? how adorable!” wonyoung laughs.

“have you seen her in the engineering building? she’s so attractive when she’s all serious and focused…” you said with a dreamy sigh. you developed the peculiar habit of taking a long stroll around the campus whenever you had spare time and you just so happened to always walk by ryujin’s classroom on your routes. once in a while you’d see her—nose glued to her notebook or listening to the lecture with great focus… and it really was sexy of her! and now here’s a fun fact: the two of you actually met on one of your first walks around the campus, where you got lost in the engineering building and ryujin had been conveniently running late to class.

you asked her for directions but she insisted that she escort you back to your own lecture hall, and the rest, as they say, is history! every time you think about it, butterflies invade your stomach and turn you into a blushing mess.

“come on, try some of these on.” wonyoung leads you to a lavish (and huge) dressing room that looks like a monster made of pink goo puked all over it. nevertheless, wonyoung takes a seat in one of the puffy, pretty ridiculously pink armchairs and nods at the privacy screen, expecting you to put on a whole fashion show for her. you felt intimidated by wonyoung, but not the kind where you would tuck your tail in between your legs and hide like you usually did with other people that mildly scared you. this kind of intimidation just made you want to impress her—make her proud, almost.

and what would you be if you were not a people-pleaser?!

so you hid behind the privacy screen and stared at the four pretty outfits that wonyoung had arranged for you; they were all pastel-colored outfits. you didn’t have a problem, of course, but you did wonder if you could ever pull it off as flawlessly as wonyoung did. on your last date with ryujin, you wore a sundress embroidered with flowers, petals, and leaves along with a cute hat, one of wonyoung’s expensive purses, and bejeweled mary janes—the outfit made ryujin unable to make eye contact with you for ten minutes until she finally got the courage to tell you how pretty you looked. adorable, but what if she doesn’t think the same on this second date?

shaking your head, you decided to trust your sister.

the mini fashion show was enlightening! seeing wonyoung’s face light up with amusement and joy every time you walked out of the privacy screen with a shy look on your face made you a bit less embarrassed of yourself. wonyoung would sometimes ask you to do a little twirl for her and would giggle sweetly at you when you do what she says even though your face was beet red. regardless of how you felt bashful about being your older step sister’s living doll, you enjoyed everything. you ended up picking an outfit that you really liked too!

“there are ways we can make this look a hundred times better!” wonyoung says, approaching you with a smile on her face. she gets real close to you, making you freeze on your spot and stare at her right in the eyes like a deer caught in headlights. her perfume was so sweet, voice so smooth as if it was made of silk, lips so full, plump, and pink that it was alluring. your breath catches in your throat when wonyoung lifts her hands slightly, undoing the ribbon of your blouse and then tying it back again—prettier this time. you couldn’t help your wandering eyes; you stared at her lips for too long! you hoped to the gods above that she didn’t notice.

(she did.)

“i’ll teach you how to tie your ribbon all cute when it’s date day. oh, and also raise this up a bit,” wonyoung lowers her hand, tucking both her thumbs underneath the waistband of your skirt and pulling your skirt up a bit. you don’t know what kind of sound nearly left your mouth when her cold fingers touched your warm skin but you were so fucking glad that it never came out. “for easier access.” wonyoung whispers with a suggestive wink.

you blushed wildly, “oh, unnie! ryujin’s the sweetest gentlewoman, please don’t put that in my head.” you promptly moved away from wonyoung, opting to stand in front of the full body mirror instead to observe your appearance. with a little bit of light makeup and some accessories, you’d look really cute. you were glad wonyoung was here to offer her expertise, or else you would’ve been panicking trying to find a decent outfit the night before the big day. both you and wonyoung ogle over your adorable outfit before you go back to wearing your regular clothes, realizing that you might like shopping and scourging for outfits more than you thought.

at the cash register, you still insisted on at least paying for half of the payments required for the outfit but wonyoung refused again. “keep this up and i’m going to have to lock your cards myself just to make it stick to you that i want to pay for everything.” wonyoung then pinches your nose and happily slips the receipt into the paper bag before gingerly walking out of the store with you following close behind. at least she allowed you to carry the bag, but that was only because she wanted to loop her arm around yours and tug you everywhere.

for the rest of your time at that outlet mall, you spent most of it window shopping and trying to stop wonyoung from buying you pricey things that you did not ask for. you managed to prevent her from getting you a shiny watch, some sleek heels, and fancy pieces of clothing that were too rich for your little closet, but you couldn’t say no to her when she brought up the wonderful idea of getting matching bracelets. wonyoung’s joy was contagious; it made you so happy to see her smile when you allowed her to put the bracelet on you. it was just another great day of hanging out with her, but the fun didn’t stop there!

“so, tonight! you, me, in my room, a pint of ice cream, iconic romcoms, and planning out your second date. sound good?” wonyoung asks once she had her car parked on the driveway. you nodded eagerly, taking a bite out of the donut in your hand before tidying yourself up. wonyoung wipes a filling off the top of your lips and licks it off her thumb, chuckling lightly at your bewildered expression before exiting her car. you blinked, and asked yourself just why did you think it was so… ‘hot’ of her to do that? shaking your head, you followed after your step sister, closing the car door gently and jogging up to the front porch of the jang family mansion.

the mansion was as posh and lavish as one would expect from the jangs; from the fine pieces of paintings, sculptures, and figures scattered all over the house to the intricately-detailed wallpapers and the expensive furniture. it was way too big for one family of four, three dramatic cats, and two live-in housekeepers but it was home.

“hi, unnies!” wonyoung excitedly greets the chipper housekeepers, giving them hugs and kisses. you stood idly behind them all, waiting as wonyoung chatted with them. “mmh… that smells really good. but why are you guys cooking a bit early tonight?” wonyoung asked.

“ah, sir jang or madam (l/n) hasn’t mentioned it yet?” the older one of the housekeepers, sunhee, said. you and wonyoung exchanged a quick look with each other, making you grab your phone just to take a quick peek to confirm that no, neither your stepfather or mother have texted you about any interesting event that’s supposed to occur tonight. “both of them are inviting some friends of theirs over for dinner. and they’re expecting you young’uns to join them!”

your smile drops slightly. not because you didn’t want to join the big dinner but because your little plan with wonyoung might have to be canceled depending on how long the dinner would be. seeing this, the younger housekeeper, norae, was quick to try and lift your spirits back up. “i’m sure it’s not anything too serious! nothing to be concerned about.” she smiles kindly at you and relief was evident in her face when you smile back, warm from the reassurance. afterwards, sunhee decided to go back to the kitchen but norae insisted on helping you and wonyoung with your bags.

“one day i’m going drag you and sunhee-unnie along to my bi-weekly shopping sprees. it’ll be so fun.” wonyoung tells norae as the three of you struggled climbing the staircases with shopping bags in your hands. while the two older girls get lost in their conversation, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket and your heart jumps at the thought of it being ryujin. she did tell you that she would tell you more about the date she has planned so you wouldn’t be too nervous about it. how considerate of her! you paused on top of the staircases to look at your phone, and you were correct!”

“come on, lover girl, don’t fall off the stairs,” wonyoung teased, her head peeking out from the corner of the hallway. “sorry, unnie. she has another hot date this weekend so she’s a bit… distracted.” wonyoung winks at the young housekeeper before laughing at how you blushed at her statement. shoving your phone in your pocket, you grabbed your bags and made a beeline towards your room, ignoring wonyoung’s giggles and norae’s calls for details. you thanked norae for her help with your bags before bidding your older sister a short goodbye—you had a ‘formal’ dinner to get ready for! and you wanted to see if you can glam yourself up without wonyoung’s help this time.

however, instead of going straight into the showers like you intended to, you decided to crash right onto your bed! ryujin didn’t seem to be camping in your messages anymore, possibly occupied with something. a shame since you wanted to chat with her just to know more about her so you wouldn’t be a total bore to talk to on your second date with her. beyond the cool girl persona, there was a not-so-hidden softness in ryujin that she doesn’t really allow just anyone to see and maybe it was her infatuation with you, but you were one of those people that she let see her adorable side.

for example! once in a while you would find three daisies taped to your locker with a small sticky note that had only a cute heart and ‘ryu’ signed at the bottom of the paper. on one of those days where ryujin pulled that stunt, wonyoung had been with you and you got such a big teasing from her that you had to pretend that the cute gesture didn’t affect you as much. every time ryujin gave you daisies you always made sure to take them home and appreciate them a little more before their time was up, and because of ryujin, you found yourself liking the flower so much that even your phone case was designed with daisies.

you hadn’t been able to get the look of awe in ryujin’s face when she noticed your new and shiny daisy phone case one day and you swore that when her face lit up with a bright smile, you had fallen in love.

you turned to your side and started scrolling through ryujin’s instagram page. you’ve probably seen every post at this point but you would never get tired of seeing her face… plus her pictures were pretty cool, okay?! you wondered who took them—maybe chaeryeong? you always knew they were pretty close, almost like sisters. as you scrolled through your crush’s feed, it started to get… warm. shin ryujin was simply too handsome for her own good; who could blame you for staring obsessively at a certain pic that you liked for so long that you didn't even notice your own hand slipping underneath the waistband of your pants and feeling your own clothed core?

rubbing the fabric of your underwear against your clit, you whimpered and pressed your face against your pillows as a means to suppress your noises. it would be a nightmare if anybody in the house hears you. they may not tease you as it would be embarrassing for everybody, but just the thought of the kind housekeepers and your very own step sister hearing you like this… well, it makes you want to pack your bags and move out. and so you bit the pillowcase and sighed blissfully at the pleasure, sliding your fingers past your underwear and squirming at the contact made with your bare clit. you were doing well for a while with only soft whimpers, heavy breathing, and sharp intakes of breath leaving your mouth, although every time you pressed on your clit too hard a slightly louder whine would slip out and you would have to bite harder.

you started to think about the possibility of your second date ending a bit… differently compared to your first one. what if instead of a sweet kiss on the cheek after ryujin drops you off to the gates of the mansion, you’d be underneath her? a helpless, moaning mess on her bed as she feasts herself on your cunt with her adorable eyes latched onto yours and calling you all the names you like and singing your praises? the thought makes a shiver run down your spine, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body even though you were doing the bare minimum at the moment.

you blame wonyoung for all of this. it was all innocent until she brought up the idea of you potentially dressing sexy for ryujin on your date. now fucking with her was all you can think about. feeling her skin against yours, her hands on you, her lips kissing you until every inch of your skin was covered with her marks, and to feel her own core in your hand…

“mmhn… god, wonyoung-unnie…”

your eyes snap open and all of your movements halted.

wonyoung? your step sister that was right across the door of your own room?

oh, god. you feel sick.

out of all the days you had to acknowledge these forbidden and super fucking weird underlying attraction you had for wonyoung, it had to be today—days away from your dream date with your crush. you can’t even defend yourself by saying that ‘nobody can blame you for being attracted to an admittedly attractive woman’ when the woman in question is your family! you felt disgusted with yourself, and the desire to catapult yourself out of your window only becomes stronger when you imagined wonyoung’s disappointed face in your head. she was scolding you… and it turned you on to an immense degree.

fuckfuckfuck, no!! bad (y/n)!!

immediately, you cleaned up your hand and did everything in your power to forget about what just happened. absolutely no one can know that you had pictured yourself getting intimate with wonyoung and that you moaned her name out loud while you were touching yourself! 

after choosing a decent outfit for the dinner, you headed straight into the bathroom to have a nice, long shower that you hoped would wash away all the thoughts you had in your head about ryujin, the date, and most importantly, wonyoung.

you don’t know why it was so hard for you to make your way down the stairs after you have been called to do so by your mother… until you were met with your step sister’s back at the bottom of the stairs. wonyoung had been waiting for you, refusing to enter the dining area without you (since she knew that if she leaves you to yourself, you would walk into the area with cold hands and shaking legs. and she knew you wouldn’t let yourself live that down). thankfully, as mentioned before, her back was turned to you so she wasn’t aware of your presence yet. and then you found yourself torn in between two paths: act like you didn’t ‘accidentally’ masturbate to the thought of her and that your life is merry and happy, or completely avoid interacting with her throughout the night.

the second option was a death trap, of course. knowing wonyoung, she wouldn’t let up until you spat out what was bothering you. especially if it involved herself. so you crossed that out immediately and found yourself in great peril. unfortunately, you didn’t have the luxury to practice your fake smiles and faux enthusiasm as wonyoung took a glance behind herself and finally saw you, flashing you a radiant smile before beckoning you over.

when you reach the last step, wonyoung loops her arm around yours and pulls you close, “what took you so long? and why do you look so scared?” she asked, chuckling at your peculiar state.

it totally wasn’t because of the alluring perfume that she was wearing and how her glossy, red lips were so inviting.

“unnie, you know i-i’m not good with people… especially mom and mr. jang’s friends. they always have such high expectations…” you muttered, opting to look at the lively dining area just to avoid wonyoung’s stare.

“expectations that you don’t have any problem meeting already because you’re amazing. stop downplaying yourself, (y/n)-ah. i’m gonna get really angry.” wonyoung pinched your cheek and laughed at how you scrunched up your face in pain. unexpectedly, wonyoung dives right in and gives you a kiss on the cheek that she pinched, making you stiffen on the spot.

“oh, crap,” wonyoung notices that she left a barely faint kiss mark on your cheek. “free blush for you, i guess?” wonyoung says as she wipes away the lipstick gently. you were hoping that she would just ignore how you have completely gone non-verbal because of her actions. and god forbid, she notices how you’ve clenched your thighs together in an attempt to stop that feeling in your core from getting stronger. this was so, so wrong.

“come on, now. it’s only mr. and mrs. naoi with mrs. ahn and mrs. kim—we’ve met them before and we’re schoolmates with their kids, remember?” wonyoung starts tugging you towards the dining table where your mother and stepfather as well as their friends have already settled down while norae and sunhee present the food they have cooked at the table. you hear the adults laughing about mr. ahn and mr. kim’s absence before their conversation was cut short due to your and wonyoung’s appearance. you felt small under the gazes of the accomplished people in the room, with your mother being one of them no less, until you feel wonyoung’s hand touch the back of your waist for support.

“good evening.” the two of you said at the same time, greeting the other adults with a sweet smile before giving your parents hugs and kisses on the cheeks. you were sitting in between your mother and wonyoung, facing the gentleness and warmth of mrs. kim who sat across from you. with a few more greetings exchanged and a brief ‘thank you’ to the housekeepers, the dinner officially started.

it turns out that you didn’t have much to worry about. it was mostly the parents that talked about their businesses and some anecdotes that happened in their respective workplaces, sometimes they asked about wonyoung’s studies, about your studies, and your love lives. both you and wonyoung denied being in a relationship even though you knew how glaringly obvious it was that you had been thinking about a certain engineering student. both your stepfather and mother exchanged a knowing glance upon seeing your red ears—you had told them about ryujin just a few days before you went on that first date with her, and from the looks of it, they seemed fine with you seeing people and going on dates.

it was mostly wonyoung that they all talked to, being the older between you two and they knew her better than they did you. it was fascinating to watch how wonyoung seemed to fit right in; she spoke with so much confidence that it intimidated you. at least you got to hear about her mysterious biological older sister. the one you haven’t exactly met yet if you don’t count seeing her in pictures and having to briefly wave at her through wonyoung’s phone screen when they had been video calling one time. you were more than content to just sit there and eat your food along with occasionally acknowledging and chatting a little bit when you were being talked to. even that proved to be a challenge.

especially when wonyoung’s piercing gaze made your hair stand on end, but you can’t think about that for too long or else you’ll malfunction where you sat.

when the dinner finished and your mother and stepfather have gone outside to send their friends home, you and wonyoung decided to help the housekeepers collect the dishes. you both insisted that you helped them wash it and clean up the entire dining area in general but they refused, saying that it’s already pretty late in the evening and that the two of you should just head to bed. you wanted to persist, but wonyoung takes a hold of your arm and starts tugging you towards the staircases. god, after you did what you did earlier, you really thought that you shouldn’t be alone with her at all. who knows what you might say? what you might do?

the two of you climbed up the staircases in silence. every step weighed heavily in your heart, and seeing the wide smile on wonyoung’s face, thinking that she was going to have another fun night hanging out with her only younger sister, broke you even more. you just had to utter her name that time, didn’t you?

it wasn’t until you had stopped in front of wonyoung’s bedroom door that you finally decided to speak. “u-um, unnie… shopping kind of wore me out earlier so i think i’m going to have to skip movie night,” you said these words while looking elsewhere, not having it in yourself to try to look at wonyoung in the eyes and lie to her face. “i’m sorry. i know you were looking forward to it.”

wonyoung wasn’t stupid. you knew that she knew something was truly wrong and that you weren’t planning on telling her about it anytime soon, but of course, it would be quite intrusive of her to push you into telling her everything, so she doesn’t question you. wonyoung merely caresses your hair and pats your back softly, “it’s okay, (y/n)-ah. we can do it some other time.” she said. you didn’t like how sure she sounded, because you knew that if wonyoung were to ask to have some time alone with you in the foreseeable future, you would have to decline.

when you parted ways with her and she finally disappeared behind her door, you stared at your own for a quick minute, immediately regretting your decisions but finding it useless to take it all back. what were you going to do? tell wonyoung that you were only momentarily freaked out because you touched yourself to the thought of her? no. it was much, much better to live with the intent to carry that secret to your grave than facing it.

you went to bed with unsettling feelings bubbling from the pit of your stomach that night and unbeknownst to you, your mistake was going to be much, much harder to forget.

it really hurts you to continuously avoid wonyoung for days on end. it was always terrible when it was daytime considering she’s driving you to school everyday. she would put on her music and try to start conversations with you, only for you to abruptly end it with mere hums, nods, and short answers. you couldn’t look at her when you have been struggling to get that pretty face of hers out of your head for days—at night, in your dreams and in the morning, when you make the mistake of spacing out and have the same image of wonyoung seducing you. many times at night, you woke up from a wet dream wherein wonyoung had been going down on you and you found your hand shoved inside your soaked panties. and that night, you let out a scream that alerted your step sister herself.

wonyoung had rushed to knock on your door thinking that you were in danger or something, and you had to try your very hardest to cover up that wet spot on your shorts while you reassured her that you just had a ‘nightmare’. she looked like she wanted to talk to you more, perhaps suggest that you sleep with her so she can spoon you like she had done so a few times before when you actually did have nightmares. but you made sure to talk to her for no more than five minutes before you bid her goodnight again and close the door on her face. that night, you actually sobbed quietly into your pillow. you were so horrible to her for no reason, and you hated yourself for it.

wonyoung had learned how to hide unnecessary emotions from showing up on her face as a means to avoid being too much of an open book to strangers, but you have learned to catch every little thing wonyoung does so it was easy for you to see through that veil of hers. this time around, however, it was a curse. every time you came up with some excuse to do things alone, you would see a flash of hurt in wonyoung’s eyes before she covered it up behind an understanding smile. she had gotten used to your rejection to the point that sometimes she doesn’t even bother to ask you to hang out anymore, and this morning she barely acknowledged you.

when you made your way towards your room to get yourself washed up, wonyoung had just come out of her own room clad in her running gear. you hated how attractive she looked wearing it all, but what you hated more was how wonyoung completely walked past you without a word, a smile, or even a glance… and yet she was wearing her pair of your matching bracelets. a familiar lump was stuck in your throat for a few minutes while you paced around your room trying to calm yourself, but you were able to get it together when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. ryujin had texted you, reminding you that she will pick you up from the mansion and so you shouldn’t bother taking a cab to your meeting place.

yes, it was the day and yet ryujin was somehow the last thing on your mind.

with a deep exhale, you decided that you were going to enjoy this day to the fullest and think about what to do with the mess you’ve created later. there has been a cloud stuck to your head for days now, and while that was mostly your fault, you still deserved a good day filled with butterflies in your stomach and cupid arrows shooting through your heart. with that in mind, you took the first relaxing shower you’ve had after days of being dramatic and moping while water rained down on your sad face. the date was hours away, so you had time to have fun playing dress up in your room. (although there weren't a lot of outfits to choose from thanks to your amateur sense of fashion.)

perhaps you had a bit too much fun ogling over your jewelry since you now only had an exact hour to get yourself dolled up before your princess charming pulls up at the gates. getting dressed up and prepared for the date was disheartening because you knew wonyoung would’ve loved to help you like she had done before, and judging by the fact that she hasn’t returned from her run yet, she was most likely avoiding seeing you leave without her sending you off personally. while this realization might have haunted you to the point that your heart feels hollow as a wave of regret washes over you, you simply had no time to dwell on it even further.

like you decided earlier: date first, problems later. especially when the date in question was apparently waiting at the gates for five minutes while you were busy picking out earrings that complement your outfit. you grabbed your purse and headed out of your bedroom with your heart racing from excitement. norae was sweeping the hallways in the upstairs area and she gave you two thumb-ups while you waved goodbye at her—you made sure to tell her all about it when you finally had time. your mother and stepfather were out on a quick grocery run with sunhee so they were nowhere to be found, which was a win to you because you knew that all three of them would just tease the hell out of you if they saw how giddy you looked.

but then, as you approached the front door, you saw wonyoung taking her shoes off and putting them aside. you watched intently as she took her thin jacket off and revealed her sports bra, which turned out to be the only thing she was wearing underneath. fuck, really? now?! shaking your head, you headed for the door with your head down.

“have fun, (y/n)-ah.”

well, you didn’t expect that.

you stopped in your tracks, turning your head to look your sister in the eye for the first time in a long while. wonyoung didn’t avoid you this time, even going as far as giving you a soft smile. you couldn’t stop yourself—you hugged wonyoung tightly, not even caring that she was a bit damp from sweat. feeling her wrap her long arms around your waist and pull you close was the fullest your heart has been these past few days and when you leaned back to stare at her adoring face, you don’t hide how you were staring at her lips. always so appealing, tempting you to do something so unimaginable. and it seems like wonyoung had the same idea, tightening her hold around your waist with one of her hands resting far down your lower back. it even looks like she already had her head tilted, nervous eyes flickering back and forth between your lips and your gaze.

no. not now. much to wonyoung’s (and your own) dismay, you pulled away from her embrace. “i’ll see you later, unnie. i promise.” you said before swiftly opening the front door and leaving. wonyoung’s scent lingers before it is completely washed away by the smell of nature, reminding you that you had a cute date to worry about for now.

ryujin waits outside of her gray top-down car, holding a singular red rose in her hand while she paced back and forth nervously. smiling, you opened up the gates while she was busy mumbling some kind of mantra to herself, greatly startling her. normally, ryujin would be embarrassed but you laughed so cutely that she had to suck it up, opting to laugh herself before regaining composure. she looked handsome with her loose and silky dark blue button-up shirt while a pair of chic sunglasses pushed the front of her hair back—the look made your heart skip a beat.

“you look beautiful, (y/n),” ryujin extends her arm and hands you the rose which you gratefully accept with a shy smile. she then opens the door of the passenger seat, urging you to take a seat. “ready to go?”

you suddenly felt brave. you closed the distance between the two of you and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek, “thank you, ryu.” you said before occupying the passenger seat. you were glad that it took ryujin a minute to settle down behind the wheel because if she had seen how hard you blushed… you wouldn’t have looked as cool as you initially did! ryujin herself was blushing as well, and she couldn’t resist a wide smile from appearing on her pretty face. well, that was definitely worth the risk.

“oh, here,” ryujin grabs a jacket from the backseat and lays it over your lap. “wouldn’t want you to get cold now.”

from then on, you knew the date was going to be just as fantastic as the last one you had with her. and it really was! your first stop was an italian restaurant that you actually remember vaguely hearing about via overhearing wonyoung talking about wanting to eat there with her friends. you had a lovely time hearing ryujin talk about her studies, her friends, and the little moments in her daily life that she was willing to share, and the way she intently listened to you while you shared your own stories made your heart race. afterwards, ryujin tried to convince you to let her pay for all of the food but after seeing that you refused to back down, she ended up letting you share the bill with her. 

the next stop was a quick-but-heartwarming stroll at a lively and colorful park that had the most beautiful arrangements of plants and flowers as well as gorgeous water fountains. ryujin moved on to talking about some funny encounters at her part-time job—she seemed to love it when you laughed with her and at her stories. it took some time, but ryujin eventually found the courage to hold your hand while you were mesmerized by a particularly ravishing flower bed. the two of you toured the rest of the park hand-in-hand, sharing shy glances for a while until ryujin laughed at the ridiculousness of it all and kept the conversations going. you hadn’t heard about this wonderful park before so naturally you couldn’t wait to tell wonyoung all about it!

and the final stop was a quaint local bakery where you ended up buying two whole boxes of pastries to take home to your family and housekeepers. you and ryujin continued sharing your experiences with the most random things over a cup of coffee, tea, and the most delicious delicacies you’ve had in a long while. ryujin held your hand the entire time and her smile seemed brighter and wider, just like yours was. as you walked out of the bakery and towards the parking lot, the sun was well on its way down the horizon and there was a certain mood in the air… and a spark when you got the courage to look ryujin in the eyes.

there was the anticipation of a kiss… and something more.

then, you ask a question that you never would have thought to come out of your mouth ever, “w-would you… like to come over for a bit?”

ryujin was caught off guard by this and you wondered if those were the right set of words to say to her at the time, but it seems like she was more than eager to take up your offer. although, she does ask you a question with uncertainty and anxiousness, “won’t your family mind? i-i would hate to be a bother…”

but oh, you were chasing after something and you wanted to grab it with your hands firmly. “no, no. they would love to have you over! e-especially wonyoung-unnie!” you insisted. you felt pathetic and desperate trying to convince her like this… but it works. ryujin agrees and the two of you get inside her car for a quite silent and admittedly awkward ride back to the jang mansion. you were expecting the worst of the teasing to come from your doting stepfather and playful mother. norae and sunhee would most likely just laugh in the background and as for wonyoung, she would be smiling triumphantly knowing that she was right all this time!

right about thinking of ryujin touching you, she was!

ryujin parks her car on the spot beside where wonyoung’s car was, making the process excruciatingly slow as she was probably nervous about meeting your family so quickly. you comforted her by taking her hand and gently leading her towards the front doors. you intertwine your fingers, giving her a smile to calm her nerves before pushing the door open. where you would usually find your parents lounging around this time was just an empty big couch. you didn’t hear random laughs and chatter in the kitchen either, which means that wonyoung wasn’t hanging out with the housekeepers to kill time. and the housekeepers themselves were nowhere to be found. 

the mansion was completely empty. ryujin lets out a sigh of relief at the realization that not a single soul was present in the mansion and was a lot more comfortable going forward: making noises of approval and awe at the pieces of art around the house and the interior design as well as nodding as you tell her random facts about the mansion. eventually, the air was dead silent once again when you reached your bedroom. the two of you sit on the edge of your bed, quietly picking at the lint on your clothes and looking everywhere else but at each other.

this was a stupid idea, you thought. she probably didn’t even want to go here… what was i thinking?!

but maybe it wasn’t stupid! because when you find the courage to turn your head to look at ryujin, you find her already staring at you. her face accompanied with the expression of longing that you’ve seen very clearly on your older step sister just this morning before you left the mansion for this date. before you process anything thoroughly, ryujin leans in for a kiss… and so do you.

ryujin’s lips tasted like caramel and caffeine, and with the faint remains of the cinnamon pastry that she snacked on earlier, it all created a distinguished flavor on your tongue that you desired to have more of. so you got brave: softly grabbing a fistful of ryujin’s shirt and pulling her closer to you as you backed up further in your bed until your back was against the headboard. ryujin couldn’t resist her own urges as much as she tried to be a gentlewoman about this whole ordeal. not long after you’ve gotten comfortable, ryujin attacks your neck while pulling on the ribbon on your blouse. her kisses were almost intoxicating, making you release unheard sounds from your mouth that you could tell she greatly enjoyed hearing when you felt her smirk against your skin.

with your blouse now loose and exposing your shoulders as well as a part of your upper chest area, ryujin was now free to mark you however and wherever she desired. whimpers leave your quivering lips as ryujin trailed feather-light kisses down your neck, and a pretty moan follows when she sucks on a certain spot that feels better than the rest. having been distracted by her work on your neck, you don’t notice how she had a gentle grip on your thigh. that was until she slowly slid her hand up, all the way underneath your skirt until she could feel the fabric of your panties on her fingertips.

ryujin tugs on the material at the same time she leaves her first hickey on your neck, and you panic.

you promptly push her back, rendering both of you in temporary shock. you clumsily fixed your blouse, suddenly feeling way too exposed for your own good. a pang of guilt hits you in the chest when ryujin looks at you with widened eyes, “i-i’m sorry, (y/n). did i… was that too fast?” she asked, immediately putting some distance between the two of you just so you don’t feel scared any further.

truthfully, it wasn’t clear to you why exactly you stopped ryujin. but one thing was for sure: it felt… wrong. wrong for her to be the one to touch you. to kiss you. to even… like you. it was almost as if something in your head was telling you that she was the wrong person to pour all of your affection to. it scared you to think about the correct answer too much because you knew damn well what it was deep inside. you see ryujin’s mouth move as she frantically apologized and talked about how she didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable but you don’t hear any of it—you were way too occupied with the thought of your wonyoung-unnie and how she might react to this event, and how you… needed her right now.

“s-s-should i… leave? i’m really sorry if i made the wrong call, i—”

“it’s okay, ryu… i just—i don’t know, i freaked out. i’m sorry.”

ryujin shakes her head profusely, “no, no, please. don’t apologize for anything. i should’ve known not to do that shit. i mean, it’s our second date—god, i’m so sorry.” when she crawled closer, you flinched… but you allowed her to comfort you. not a lot of words were shared between the two of you for a whole hour as you didn’t find it in you to speak to ryujin again after embarrassing her like that. instead, you rested your head on her shoulder and wondered why, just why, out of all the people you wanted to be this close to you, you wanted it to be… wonyoung? from an outsider’s perspective, being temporarily estranged from her for a week straight would be the quickest answer to that question, but you knew it wasn’t the whole truth.

you wanted her. and while the mere idea of feeling so awfully attractive to her disgusted you to your core, you couldn’t stop your heart from trying to take what it desires. but the real question was would you really be willing to commit to such a thing just to see a sign if wonyoung held a similar attraction towards you, or in order to keep a family after enduring so many years of living in a house divided, should you just shove everything under the rug and instead, forever become distant towards wonyoung?

after ryujin quite reluctantly and regrettably left the mansion and you found yourself sitting with your knees touching your chest on the carpeted floors of wonyoung’s bedroom, it doesn’t take a genius to know that you found the answer to your myriad of questions from before. you nervously awaited wonyoung’s arrival; although her car was very much present in the driveway, you figured that she must’ve gone out with her friends or something considering she was nowhere to be found in any corner of the mansion at all. the entire place has been too quiet for your liking and on top of all that, you hated being alone inside such a big space.

before you sunk deeper into your personal pool of negative thoughts, the door slowly creaked open, revealing a casually-clothed wonyoung holding three large shopping bags with her phone against her ear. she doesn’t notice you upon entering, way too engaged in the conversation with whoever was on the other line. you watched as she dropped the shopping bags to the side and throw her purse to the soft bean bag in the corner before she finally took a good look around the room and spotted your pitiful self all balled up on the floor looking like a kicked puppy. wonyoung was only momentarily surprised, sending a confused look your way before briefly saying goodbye to her friend on the phone.

“i’ll call you back later, unnie. my little sister needs me,” wonyoung then ends the call and puts both of her hands on her hips, jokingly glaring at you. “who said you could come in here as much as you please? especially after being so mean to me for the past week.” wonyoung was pouting, but she was quick to drop her act and laugh at herself. as upset as you were about how things went down with ryujin, you found herself giggling along with her. instead of asking you to stand up, wonyoung sits down right beside you.

you could feel her staring at you and deciphering your expression while your eyes were glued to your feet. you figured that she must have questions for you, and you did have things to say to her obviously but you didn’t know where to start at all. do you start with ryujin? do you start with an apology? do you want to completely avoid deep conversations for now and ask where she had gone? you had no idea. luckily enough, you didn’t have to make that decision.

“did something happen with ryujin? you look troubled,” wonyoung said. her kind eyes refuse to leave your face, wondering just what might’ve disturbed you so greatly that you felt the need to run to her about it. she scoots closer to you and the way you tensed up slightly did not at all go unnoticed. wonyoung tilts her head inquisitively, notices the faint hickey that ryujin gave you, and her mood changes. “what did she do?”

you were to go on ryujin’s defense when you noticed the scary tone in her voice. “no, no. it’s nothing like that, unnie. it’s my fault, i…” you sighed deeply, cringing at the exact memory you pushed ryujin away from you. “i messed up and we couldn’t go through with… you know.” god, you sounded like a child and you hated it. it shouldn’t have to be so hard telling someone you trust about how you ended your date horribly.

“with…? oh! you tried to… oh, wow.” wonyoung seemed to be in complete disbelief. she probably thought you were too much of a prude to even try to initiate sex with a girl you had a massive crush on. you groaned and hid your face in your hands as wonyoung processed your words, and it was then you decided that hey, you weren’t completely innocent! hell, you’re not even a virgin, you should start there! but alas, you resorted to burying your face in your hands and groaning.

“i-it’s okay! what exactly happened?” wonyoung puts a hand on your shoulder for consolation.

“we… i took her here because i didn’t want us to separate just yet so we went into my room and… we kissed,” you remember how ryujin’s lips felt against your skin, how they tasted on your tongue but instead of feeling euphoric over it, there was almost a tinge of dismay that you associated with it. “i-it was getting a bit intense so we took it to the bed and… i don’t know. i didn’t… i didn’t like it when she touched me. and it’s not like i was scared of her or anything like that… i just—”

looking at wonyoung, you found yourself at a loss of words. there is no way you can admit everything you have been thinking about to her. despite her suspicious actions and lingering stares towards you, she wasn’t actually going to entertain such a disgusting act, right?

“hey, hey… don’t beat yourself up over it. you were going to take a huge step! it’s normal to chicken out when it comes to things like that. but i didn’t think it would take such a toll on you… come here,” wonyoung wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you close. in her embrace you start to relax a bit, although your heart is hammering against your ribcage and you refuse to hug her back. who knows what you might think of doing and where your hands might end up?! even when wonyoung was too close, you refused to move an inch. even when she rested her face in the crook of your neck and inhaled your scent. “did she try pushing you to do it?” she asked. her breath tickled your neck. it took you everything in your power to not whimper.

“n-no… she backed off. i felt so bad, unnie… she thought it was her fault and she went home guilty because of me.” you said with a quivering voice. you didn’t want to hurt ryujin like this. how could you even face her on campus and tell her that the reason you didn’t let her touch you any further was because the thought of having sex with her made you feel like you were doing something wrong?

“no, no, ryujin is kind. she’ll understand once you give her a proper explanation about it all. you don’t owe her one, of course, but if it’s bothering you this much then maybe it would help,” wonyoung leans her back, brushes your hair back and giggles slightly at how cute you looked pouting. “you’ll be okay, (y/n)-ah. let’s take your mind off of it, alright?” wonyoung kisses your forehead. at this point, you thought you were safe. as wonyoung leaned back on the side of her bed, you rested your head on her chest and allowed her to caress your side all she wanted. you were actually feeling much better about it all too!

and then wonyoung reaches into her skirt pocket and pulls out your pair of the matching bracelets you bought a week ago.

“you dropped this in the hallway when we were taking all of our bags upstairs after we went shopping,” wonyoung smiles fondly at the bracelet before turning her head and looking at you. it was her usual ‘sweetheart smile’ that you’ve come to know and love, but there was something sinister hiding behind her eyes that made you hold your breath for what she might say next. her hand felt cold against your skin—you weren’t even aware that she had slipped it underneath your shirt until now. “i was going to return it to you after i got all my stuff sorted out… but if my ears were working correctly that time… you were a bit busy.”

oh, fuck. she heard that?

as if she can read your mind, wonyoung nods. “mhm. i heard you. loud and clear,” a sadistic look takes over her expression as your blood runs cold. “i was right about you, (y/n)… i knew i wasn’t going crazy with all those hints that you were dropping all this time…” you don’t think wonyoung realizes how terrified you were at this moment. what was she going to say to you next? what was she going to do? and how the fuck were you going to explain everything to her? wonyoung takes your wrist and clasps the bracelet there before taking your chin in her hand and making you look up at her.

god, you must’ve looked pathetic. what with your eyes brimming with tears and the genuine fear they held in them. wonyoung doesn’t seem too bothered by the fact that she caught her younger step sister masturbating to the thought of her yet, judging by how she looks quite flattered instead. something inside you was hoping that she would just let it pass as a little joke and forget about it. as long as you get to hear her tell you that you shouldn’t think about things like that again, then you can move on peacefully and continue to be her lovely little sibling. but that… doesn’t seem likely. not when wonyoung raises your hand to her lips and kisses your knuckles, then kisses your wrist just a few seconds longer before putting your palm against her cheek, smiling at you so sweetly.

“i’m so happy you feel the same way as i do,” wonyoung said. before you could even process what she just said in your head, wonyoung leans closer to you until your faces were merely inches apart. your breath catches on your throat at the lack of distance, making you flinch back a bit. “it’s because of me, right? you couldn’t bring yourself to have sex with ryujin because you wanted me… don’t you, baby?” wonyoung places her hands on either side of you so she would have you trapped. when you don’t answer her quick enough, she tilts her head and gives you a kiss on the cheek… before her lips continue on kissing down your neck.

her kisses were pillow-soft. it was as if no matter how much she wanted you, she was still giving you room to completely push her away and run for your life. and you know what? you probably should. deep in your heart, you wanted to scurry away from her and lock yourself away from the world to completely forget that all of this even happened… but instead, you sat there. so awfully still that even wonyoung got frustrated by your lack of movement but regardless, she kissed you. she stops at the crook of your neck, nestling her face there for a moment. “you’ve always smelled so good…” she whispered.

wonyoung raises her head, finding herself chuckling lightly at how petrified you were. “don’t pretend to be so innocent. if you really gave a shit about all of this—about us being a ‘family’—you wouldn’t have shown your face here in the first place. you want this to happen… isn’t that right?”

you knew she was right. and what’s worse is that she knew she was right. that’s why she didn’t have a problem closing the distance and catching your lips with hers. if you weren’t going to answer her questions, then she might as well make you use your mouth for something else! you feel wonyoung smile into the kiss when you start returning it. it makes you sick how good this all made you feel… but you quickly forget about all of that once wonyoung slips her tongue inside your mouth, eager to explore every crevice like she has wished to do for a while now.

wonyoung places a hand on your thigh, and every ounce of hesitation you had evaporates into nothing as you cup her cheeks with both hands, kissing her back. wonyoung moans and your heart skips a beat, even more so when she pulls you closer towards her until her back meets the side of her bed again. and once you were straddling her, wonyoung immediately pulled your shirt off. she even stops the kiss just to lean back and rake her eyes all over your body. you don’t feel intimidated under her stare anymore—all of those feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness have dissipated into nothing as soon as she kissed you. now you only wanted her… and luckily enough, wonyoung was planning on giving you just that and more.

“i thought about fucking you in that changing room, you know,” you feel one of wonyoung’s hands glide across your back slowly, only stopping to unclasp your bra and throw it away to the side. her cold hands grasp your tits, squeezing softly and pressing her thumbs down your erect nipples. you bite back a whimper. “i was so close… do you know how hard i fought against myself knowing you were naked and the only thing stopping me was that damn privacy screen? i think we’re both lucky that i had some sense of decency and didn’t fuck you in a public space.” unconsciously, you rock your hips back and forth on her thigh, seeking for any sort of friction to ease the aching in your core.

wonyoung grins, “so eager… think you can be good for me and be patient, hon?” she asked. you wanted to say fuck no. you needed release and you needed it now but you knew wonyoung would probably fuck you better if you followed her every word.

so you nodded, “y-yes… i can do that, unnie.”

to get you riled up a bit more, wonyoung leaves a trail of hungry, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and across your collarbone until she wraps her warm mouth around your nipple. she hums approvingly of your whimpers which soon turn into blissful moans when she starts using her tongue, flicking and rolling your hardened bud in her mouth. wonyoung slots a knee in between your legs, squeezing your ass as you pressed down and start humping her thigh with the kind of desperation one would only see in a pathetic virgin eager to get bred. wonyoung sneaks her hand inside your shorts which you don’t feel until she presses a finger against your clit. with the added stimulation, it was hard to keep your voice low.

you had no idea who was home at this point in time. what if norae and sunhee hear you? or worse, what if your parents hear you?! wonyoung didn’t seem to care, however. in fact, with how hard she sucked on your nipple and how she rubbed your clit with her fingers, it was like she wanted you to make sounds. a death wish, yes… but perhaps one you were willing to fulfill.

“off,” wonyoung simultaneously tugs your shorts and underwear down. her eyes glinted with desire as her eyes traveled down from your stomach to your pussy—desperate and dripping, but not exactly ready for her yet. “did you have fun touching yourself to me that day?” wonyoung takes note of how tightly you held onto her shoulders, how your lips have formed a thin line with how hard you were trying to hold back from whining and pleading for her to touch you already.

“yes, i did…” you nod. being completely naked and vulnerable but looked at and seen like some irreplaceable treasure made you all the more desperate to please wonyoung. she was most likely expecting so much from you—she was risking a lot after all: her father’s happiness, your mother’s trust, and your entire relationship as siblings… you didn’t want this to be a waste of time for her.

you gently pushed her hair back and sat comfortably on her lap while she eyed you down with a whole lot of feelings in her eyes that you haven't seen before. and for a moment, you thought that you could have your way with her, even just for a little bit. tilting her head and kissing her softly, squeezing the back of her neck and hearing her sweet moans, allowing you to push her back against the side of her bed and get your hands as far as her toned stomach. the upper hand was only temporary since as soon as you felt wonyoung palming your pussy, you were back to being a whiny, adorable mess.

“why don’t you finish what you started, (y/n)-ah?” wonyoung looks up at you, batting her eyelashes and smirking. she was excited, but you didn’t quite understand what she meant. considering she was being such a tease and barely doing anything to your needy cunt, it was very hard to focus! “turn around.” wonyoung says. you didn’t have time to be confused or to question her as she makes you turn your back on her herself. now you were sitting in between her lap and facing the mirror across the two of you, and only then you finally got what she meant.

but that doesn’t make wonyoung telling you exactly what she wants to see any less hot though.

“show me how you did it.” wonyoung says, her beautiful brown eyes piercing through yours as you intently stared at her using the mirror. she spreads your thighs apart and puts your pussy on full display in the mirror for the two of you. god, you almost wanted to crawl in a hole, but at this point, you were too horny to stall anything. you started by doing exactly what you did that day: gently massaging your clit as a means to get yourself wetter. from behind you, you hear wonyoung’s breathing get heavier and although you weren’t looking in the mirror at the moment, you felt her state burning through your skin.

it doesn’t take long for wonyoung to make a move herself. she leaves a trail of kisses from your shoulder, your neck, and all the way behind your ear. her hands cup your breasts again, adding onto your pleasure by squeezing and pinching your sensitive nipples. “don’t be shy now, pretty.” using one of her hands, wonyoung reaches down and spreads your lips apart for you, clearly asking for more than just whatever you were doing.

you had to admit that this was pretty nerve-racking. you rarely touched yourself and when you did, it was just… this. you didn’t have any toys to help you, you didn’t know much beyond what people called ‘vanilla sex’, and as embarrassing as it was to say it, you’ve never known what you felt on… well, the inside. you wanted to believe that wonyoung would just take pity on you and fuck you already but she had a surprising amount of patience despite the pure lust that radiated from her. finding no other choice in the matter, you slowly inserted a single finger inside your cunt.

“see? doesn’t that feel so much better?” wonyoung’s laugh was music to your ears. it was enough to get you moving—sliding your finger in and out of your pussy at a slow pace, getting a feel of what you liked just before you went faster. a string of moans left your mouth as you steadily fucked yourself right in front of wonyoung, who was quite literally having the best time of her life watching such a pretty thing like you do all of this for her. of course she wanted nothing more than to have you crying and whining herself but she also wanted to appreciate the show you were putting on.

you slid another finger inside you and you ended up moaning a bit too loudly for your liking that wonyoung had to clamp a hand around your mouth. she shushes you gently and whispers to you to go slower. while it would be nice to see your legs shake as you squirt all over her carpeted bedroom floor, wonyoung wanted to do that to you herself. and of course you obeyed even though it was disheartening to lose that sweet pressure building up in your abdomen. you didn’t know how long wonyoung was going to have you fuck your own pussy while she just watches, but for now you were fine with it.

this felt good. getting to unwind like this after a fucking whirlwind of a week was just what you needed, alone or otherwise. actually, you probably wouldn’t be loving this too much if you were just by yourself. wonyoung kept you in line, made sure you were calm, guiding you to make this moment last longer so both of you can fully enjoy it before any sense comes back to either of you to stop all of this.

wonyoung, with her left hand, parts your lips with her fingers and slides two inside your mouth. she doesn’t need to tell you what to do; you just sucked on her digits obediently without question. she pushes her fingers deeper, making you gag and pull back a bit but she keeps her fingers inside of your mouth. after making sure your drool was dripping down her palm, she pulls her fingers out and then kisses you softly. oh, your mind was but a haze. wonyoung’s kiss was a drug on its own—intoxicating and addicting. you couldn’t have enough of it.

you weren’t sure which feeling you wanted to focus on. your quickly-building climax, wonyoung’s hungry kisses, her nails digging deep down your inner thigh, or… oh, fuck, she was sliding her spit-covered fingers inside you… while you were busy fucking yourself! the sudden stretch of your pussy caused by wonyoung’s fingers being inside you as well as your own nearly makes you wail, and that is when you realized why wonyoung was kissing you. to shut you up. because she knew you were going to be so loud. with four fingers inside of your cunt, how could you stay quiet?! especially when wonyoung made sure to match your pace, but making sure she was knuckle-deep inside before pulling out then doing the same thing again and again.

“ahh… mmn—unnie..! oh, go—” a pathetic squeak slips past your lips when wonyoung uses her thumb to press against your clit. she kisses you harder, doing everything she can to conceal every noise coming from you but ultimately, she’s enjoying every fucking second of this. the secrecy of it all, the scandal, the thrill of being caught… gosh, if the two of you weren’t ‘siblings’, she would have no problem making you scream and letting the housekeepers hear every goddamn vowel that leaves your mouth.

it was too much. you pulled your fingers out and grabbed wonyoung’s wrist in an attempt to at least slow her down, but it does nothing. having more room to move now, wonyoung only quickens her pace even further. and with her free hand, wonyoung grabs your jaw in a tight grip and forced you to look at you reflection in the mirror just so you can watch how well you were being fucked. wonyoung’s fingers being freakishly long didn’t help at all; her fingertips reached farther inside you than yours did and every time she hits a certain spot inside you, you lose more of your sanity. soon enough, a knot forms in your stomach and wonyoung knew.

well, with your face all scrunched up in both pleasure and pain, how could she not know?

“do you think ryujin could have made you feel better than this…? i know you better than anyone, (y/n)… so don’t feel so bad about her not getting to fuck you. unnie has everything you need…” wonyoung couldn’t believe how soaked she has gotten over the past few minutes she has been fingering you. but this wasn’t about her at all. her pleasure comes after yours, and she was counting on you to do anything and everything to return this favor to her… that thought alone makes her clench around her drenched panties. she couldn’t fucking wait to use your mouth.

“mmh…! u-unnie, i’m—ahh… i’m gonna cum.. please let me…” you whimpered weakly.

wonyoung had intended to edge you until you were a babbling, crying mess. but that would’ve been too mean. especially right now, when you were so cute squeezing her wrist and pouting at her. “you’re so cute… what am i gonna do with you?” wonyoung plants a kiss on your temple before increasing her pace. your moans get higher, the knot gets tighter, and it’s harder and harder to hold yourself back from screaming her name. wonyoung buries her fingers deep, and the pressure in your stomach finally breaks.

but oh, wonyoung made sure you made a mess. pressing her fingers against your clit and rubbing rapidly so you’d squirt everywhere, a sick look on her face forming while she watched you. “you’re so good… i won’t have to punish you ever, hm? because you’re unnie’s good girl, right?” wonyoung smiled sincerely when you agreed and nodded. sure you were most likely lightheaded and barely knew what you said yes to, but wonyoung knew that you meant it.

it takes you weakly pushing her hand away for her to finally stop, letting you calm down and try to come back to her. the whole time you were catching your breath, wonyoung sucked quietly on her drenched fingers while staring at your gaping, spent cunt. and then she started to wonder; when the day ends and another one starts, if she were to just walk up to you and your room and kiss you… would you let her do it? what if she just got lucky today? what if you grow to hate her for all of this? for not respecting your feelings for ryujin and taking you for herself? no… no, no, she can’t lose you like that.

“are you hurt?” wonyoung asked after a while. she snuggled closer to you, keeping you warm as you were still butt-naked sitting in between her thighs. you shook your head, not even finding any energy in you to reply with your voice. it was strange… you thought wonyoung would be more concerned considering that she just fucked you nearly out of your mind… but you should’ve known better. this was a completely new side of her that you were hilariously unfamiliar with, and you being shocked when wonyoung suddenly pushes you to be on all fours was enough proof of your stupidity.

you should feel violated. this was beyond everything that you expected to do with wonyoung, and not to mention that she didn’t look like she planned on asking for you permission to fuck you again… but you didn’t say a word. didn’t make a sound. didn’t even question anything when you felt wonyoung squeeze your ass before palming your once-again dripping pussy from behind. you liked this. when the time comes for you and wonyoung to answer for this situation, you can’t even say that she used some sort of manipulation tactic to get you to submit to her.

no. you needed this. you wanted this. and you loved it all.

with your vision being limited to only seeing your hands on the floor or your reflection in the mirror, it was hard to try and prepare for anything she was going to give to you. when wonyoung pushes two fingers inside your cunt so suddenly, you gasped loudly. it was easy for wonyoung to slip in and out of you; you were so wet that there was nothing that could stop wonyoung from having all the fun in the world. the faster wonyoung fucks you, the harder you had to bite down your lip. your head drops to your arms and beautiful moans leave your mouth but this time… they’re all for wonyoung to hear.

“unnie… unnie, it feels s-so—ah! so good… please, faster.. faster…” and with you being so cute, wonyoung was sure to grant your wish pretty quickly. she was getting extremely impatient herself… the wet sounds of her hand meeting your pussy, your enchanting voice, and the lovely way you moaned her name when she steadily inserted her thumb in your tight hole… god, it was getting harder and harder for wonyoung to not turn you over and ride you until you were both crying from exhaustion and ecstasy.

“the very first time i saw you… i called dad stupid in my head. stupid for bringing such a pretty and nice girl into this family because i knew i wasn’t going to last long before i did something idiotic like this…” wonyoung curls her fingers inside you while simultaneously grabbing your hair and pulling it up, forcing you to look at your face in the mirror again. “see? such a fucking angel. how could i ever resist?” and before you knew it, you were gagging on her fingers again. and you were getting desperate for another release, pushing back against wonyoung and meeting her thrusts.

“you made my dreams come true by coming here, you know… i’m just thanking you now. i’ll thank you again later. and tomorrow. and whenever i want.” after seeing just how willing you were to do such a thing with her, wonyoung simply couldn’t wait for all the things the two of you could do now. even if it will cost her everything.

“mmfh.. i lah… agh.. i love you, unnie..” it was hard to speak with her fingers stuffed in your mouth, but wonyoung heard those magical words loud and clear. you were visibly exhausted, and your body was weak to the point you couldn’t even keep yourself upright… but you made sure your ass was propped right up for wonyoung to fuck you without any complications. wonyoung had pulled her hand out of your mouth and allowed you to lay half of your body down, the side of your face pressed against the floor as drool dripped out of the corner of your mouth.

you think wonyoung was now holding your hand, whispering encouragement and praises in your ears that kept you somewhat conscious while she made good use of your pussy. another deep dive of her fingers inside you and you cum for the second time with a long, soft whimper that was more than enough for wonyoung that she didn’t feel like making you suffer through another round. you’ve gone limp on the floor; barely having any energy to keep your eyes open. you felt your juices seeping out of you once again, drenching your thighs and of course the soft carpet, but wonyoung made sure to not let the slick dripping down her hand go to waste!

a lot of the things that happened afterwards were a blur. wonyoung helped you to her bed, cleaning you up and making sure you were hydrated and clothed before tucking you in as the sun was starting to set. in direct contrast to how she handled you while she fucked you, wonyoung seemingly reverted back into her gentle, loving older sister self as she took care of you. her arm carefully draped over your waist and kept you warm better than her blanket, and even your own. occasionally, you would feel her kiss the back of your neck and it would give you goosebumps. she intertwined your fingers and at the time, you felt the need to kiss her hand… so you do. and wonyoung must’ve liked that because she pulled you closer to her and held you tightly.

you were torn. torn between wanting to face all of your feelings and the consequences of what you just did with wonyoung, but also wanting to hope that you’d fallen asleep in your bed after sending ryujin home and that all of this, having sex with your step sister and laying half naked on her bed in her arms, was just an insane wet dream. but if it was, surely enough it would have been a thousand times harder to face wonyoung with your attraction towards her kept hidden. although it was like it was necessarily better this way; how the fuck are either of you going to have a normal conversation with each other after this? with your parents?!

the idea made you scared. mr. jang was a man with power and influence; if you anger him (which is very likely considering you, his stepdaughter, slept with his biological child), what could he do to you? to your future? and what would your mother think of you if she were to find out about this?

perhaps wonyoung heard your soft sobs because she immediately made you turn around, “hey… what’s wrong, (y/n)?” she takes a hold of your face and wipes your tears away with her thumbs. you couldn’t believe how confident she was that both of you would get away with all of this scot-free. but then again, she is jang wonyoung. she wouldn’t go through with everything she just did if she didn’t have a solid plan in the back of her mind.

or maybe she didn’t need any plans. wonyoung simply loved you and acted on that. maybe she was scared too. she wasn’t perfect, after all. underneath the confidence, the money, and the strong walls she has built around herself, wonyoung was still a softie at heart. she acknowledges that this was a bad thing to do, that this was indeed a mistake… but at the end of the day, the deed has been done and all she can do now is to make sure that she protects you from everything that might come after.

that is what she swore to do the night you became a part of her family, after all.

“listen… dad, mother, ryujin, and everything… we’ll worry about them tomorrow, okay? i love you. we’ll face everything together.” wonyoung gives you a kiss on the forehead, and you automatically snuggle back in her arms and hide your face in her chest. you ended up falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat and the way she ran her hands through your hair… it ended up being the most relaxing sleep you’ve had in this bizarre week. every lingering thought you had about ryujin just about faded away into nothing once you got completely lost in wonyoung’s dreamlike embrace.

one thing was for sure: you felt a lot braver with the promise of your loving step sister once again proving that everything and anything she will ever do for you are good things.

[anxiousnerdwritings]

I am going FERAL over this imagine:

So basically Bruce brings reader home to be his new daughter/the boys' new sibling but Uh Oh! They now want you carnally and reader is just like "you said you wanted me as a daughter/sibling, wtf is this" and being their platonic darling is better than being shared between them romantically so reader tries to come off as innocent and child/sibling coded by being like "yeah I've never actually kissed or dated anyone before aren't I just so innocent" and the boys are like :)))

So then Dick says you can call him your boyfriend "just to feel it out" and Tim starts blatantly stealing your panties and Jason says he can give you your 1st kiss so you can "practice" with him and Bruce offers to teach you how to touch yourself and (and him) and when you try to walk it back cause the boys are being Freaks they're in their delulu era so eventually you end up tied to the bed with the boys and Bruce drawing straws over who gets to take what 1sts (like 1st date, kiss, virginity, ect).

And Damien is just in the background absolutely SEETHING cause the the boys and Bruce's Horny Time keeps interrupting his Mommy Time with the reader

And reader using Damien as kind of a shield cause what are they going to do, feel you up in front of a CHILD? Like just, "Stay Platonic :))"

Just that kind of pseudo incest makes me Feel Things (*/∀＼*)(///∇///)

I'd love your thoughts/a fic based on this! Ty ❤️

TW: Brief mentions of pseudo incest(y) scenarios/behavior, manipulative tactics, yandere tendencies

(Okay so I’ll answer this with my thoughts for right now.)

I know I primarily write incest(y) related topics for my Game of Thrones/ASOIAF stuff but I have been tempted to/curious about branching it out into some of the other fandoms I write for 👀. (I’ve had a few ideas rolling around in my noggin for a bit if anyone is interested.) So I would be willing to give this a try. I’m down to experiment with some new stuff, within reason of course.

I imagine the Reader being older (probably 19-23), maybe even having been a runaway of sorts or not having a very stable home life, so when they’re given the ‘offer’ to become part of the family they’re looking to fulfill a familial void they’ve never experienced or have forgotten how it’s felt like. I definitely see Bruce and the rest of the boys keeping a very close eye on the Reader before they decide to finally bring them into their family, basically full on stalking them from the moment they caught their attention (you know how the Batfam works). It wouldn’t be a surprise if even before the Reader was with them physically that the boys developed a more carnal desire for them. At first, their intentions were completely platonic, but with all the lengthy observing and information gathering of their supposed-to-be-new-family-member eventually something changed in how they all saw their darling.

I really see the change in their obsession starting with either Dick or Tim first. Especially regarding some accidental or purposeful peeping Tom foolery. I feel like Bruce would be the last to fall victim to the change in direction or at the very least he’s the last one to admit to it. If Damian is younger than I see his obsession staying strictly platonic, but if he were much older than I could see him involving himself to the same depths as his family.

At first, I see things happening subtly. Knowing that at the very least a few of them are already in an obsessive-romantic headspace in regards to their darling before they even physically become part of the family the guys would try to be as welcoming as possible without revealing their true intentions. They don’t want to scare you off right away, they want you to walk into it semi-willingly at least. But the interactions with the Reader would show something else. The lingering touches, the being much closer to you than really necessary, the heated grazes over your clothes here and there that leave you wondering if that actually happened or not. I also kind of like the other members not being fully aware of each other’s change in obsession, everyone giving each other the side eye until it sets in and then all out war of who gets the darling to themself unfolds only to eventually end up with them working together and agreeing to share. That’s when Bruce’s heel-turn is revealed.

Once things get truly amped up, the interactions with the Reader really begin to escalate. The boys would walk around shirtless more often, all of them trying to get their darling to look at them, to really look at them. Eventually, it’s not just them being shitless but either them in nothing but their underwear or nothing at all. They start out as accidents but eventually it’s pretty loud and clear that the guys want you to see them, all of them, to even touch them and feel them to your hearts content. But thats not all, of course it’s not. The touching of their darling only gets all the more intense, to the point that you know damn well that they’re touching you and they want to leave you wanting for more. So much more. The Reader’s innocence and lack of experience would only spur them on even more. They absolutely thrive off of it. They all want to be your first, your first everything. There will be a lot of secret ‘lessons’ being given behind closed doors and telling of “Don’t tell Batdaddy or he’ll get real mad.” “Don’t let Jay know, or he’ll want to punish you for not doing this with him.” “Let this be our secret, (Name). Something just for you and me.” “Can’t tell anyone about this or they’ll ruin it for the both of us.” And they only get even worse from there.

I can’t see Alfred being okay with this in any situation, whatsoever. I think he especially would feel like Bruce and the other boys completely took advantage of the Reader and he would try his best to aid them in trying to keep up with the platonic intention of this entire fiasco. He would be a total cockblock, even going as far as helping Damian in his cockblocking endeavors. Alfred’s intention would be to play both sides so he knows how to help the Reader when it comes to Bruce and the others but it wouldn’t take too long for them to figure out that Alfred is working against them. Like, Alfred was all for the familial-platonic obsession but when things started getting more romantic he was ready to shut that shit down ASAP. You can’t tell me he hasn’t, at least a few times, locked Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim out of the house to give the Reader some peace and give Damian his much deserved allotted time with them.

Speaking of Damian, he is a menace (as per usual) but even more so than normal. He really doesn’t take too well to the new direction of his father’s and brothers’ obsession for the Reader. He thinks it’s pretty messed up but he sincerely likes and cares about the Reader and he wants them to stay, he wants them to continue being a part of the family forever so he’ll let some things slide. Some. He even may be willing to look the other way when it eventually comes to Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim baby-trapping the Reader if it means this whole ‘family’ thing becomes set in stone with the arrival of a new ‘sibling’. But for the most part, at least early on, Damian would be a huge pain in the ass for the other family members. He feels like he needs to step in to save his darling from the others and their ulterior motives. He’s all his parental/older sibling figure needs, at least at that point. He may even try to runaway with them to keep them safe from the others. Hell, he may even get his mother involved if he was desperate enough, especially if he saw the Reader as a parental figure. Or maybe even another Justice League member to either adopt him and the Reader so that he could have that family experience he was promised with the Reader. Or he would be completely content just living the rest of his life just him and the Reader, platonically of course.

It would either take Bruce or Dick to have a talk with Damian to get him to come to some agreement to allow them to continue with what they’re doing in regards to the Reader. I think Dick would get away with manipulating Damian much better than Bruce could. I think Damian would have some opinions about his father especially throughout this whole situation. Especially since I see Damian being very observant of how Dick, Jason and Tim are behaving towards the Reader early on and picking up on the fuckery taking place, even going as far as telling Bruce about it under the belief his father would be on his side (not ever fathoming the idea of his father also doing similar things to the Reader without him ever knowing). As far as Damian knew his father was completely platonic towards the Reader, as a ‘father’ should be. Right? So understandably Damian feels not only betrayed but also disgusted when he finds out that his father was and still is taking part in, acting in a similarly depraved fashion as the others.

Eventually, I could see them coming together and being one big ‘happy’ family. But it sure as hell comes at a price. (Usually the Reader’s freedom and sense of self outside of the obsession they’ve been dragged into, to drown in alongside their yandere(s).)

[pressureplus]

I actually have this request in my head for a while now... but I'm not sure if you be up to do it so thank to let me know if you will do it or not. Fem! Reader who is happily married and live together with Sebastian (when he still human). Until, Sebastian was arrested and sentence to dead. Reader found no long after his dead that she was pregnant. Years later, Sebastian manage to escape Hadal Blacksite probably very injured in the process. He was soon spotted by the kid that look similar to his human self (the kid probably be now close to be a teenager now), as the kid call up their mother. Sebastian was shocked to see his wife come to view.

I'm looking 👀

Love this dramatic shit, I'm SO here for it!

I'm going to be referring to your son as S/N, so y'all can name your boy yourselves! (I'm real interested in the stuff you might choose, so if you wanna put them in the replies, I'd love to see your baby names!)

Smaller Hands

Pairing: Sebastian Solace x Fem!Reader

Au: [Unnamed]

Warnings: Mentions of Pregnancy, an Absent Father, injury, and Imprisonment

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

He had been running a very long time before he got to where he was now.

Escaping the Blacksite was only the beginning of his long, long journey home. He had wrestled himself from the depths of the deep ocean and fought his way all the way up to the light far, far above him.

Breaking through the surface of the water had provided him with a hope he never thought he'd see truly grow into something he could really hold. Sunlight and open air and a horizon that stretched endlessly in every direction... Sebastian hadn't known freedom in over 10 years, but there it was.

The way the natural light caught the glint of his wedding ring had him already tearing through the water with a grin, energy back in his tired body. It certainly wasn't his original ring, no, that one wouldn't fit on his new, much larger hand anymore, but the replacement that he got so he could wear a ring on his hand and not just as a pendant was enough of a visual reminder of his love, sending him treading the water the way this body was made to do. He had to get to his wife.

He had to see his Y/N again. That's always what his efforts were for.

It was days before he even reached a beach, and weeks of dragging himself through the shadows and the alleyways, keeping himself out of sight. He would squint at road maps and try to figure out how he was going to get himself home, not very well able to get on the public transport or drive himself there with a body like this. He had to be more than a little creative with how he was going to cross the countless miles between his lover and himself if he wanted to make it there at all. He'd spend his seemingly endless days hopping trains and swimming rivers just to close the distance faster, like it may wash away the last decade he's had to go without her.

Sebastian could only hope she waited for him, though those chances were next to none. She had been there the day he was 'executed', watching him get taken back to the chair that was supposed to put his story to its end. She has every right and reason to think he died that day, and he could never be angry or upset if she decided she still needed to be held the way his other hands used to hold her... Would these hands even fit her anymore? They'd outgrown his first ring... Would they be too big to hold hers anymore? The painful thought was a reoccurring one, and it plagued every dream he had in the moments he would manage to rest.

He's nearing his old cottage now, beaten and scarred from the long trip home, more than a little bit tired and definitely hungry. He's barely going to make it if he manages to get to the doorstep at all, but more thankful than ever he'd made his home with her outside of the city and out into the woods so he might have a moment to his thoughts. He could very well find her with another man, or he could find a completely new family, or even find nothing but flowers and trees- The life that he made with her could be all but ashes on a breeze that swept this place years ago. She could be a memory and this could all be for nothing just as easily as anything else. He wouldn't even have a right to be angry... He wouldn't even feel a right to cry if she's decided to move on.

"SNAKE MAN! SNAKE MAN!!!"

He's shaken from his pondering by an unfamiliar voice, a starry eyed child fumbling out of the bushes like a little animal.

He nearly panics and flees before the brave, feral little boy reaches out for his hand and looks up at him like something right out of a story book- Which, he supposed may be fair given the way that he looks now.

"Are you a forest monster!? Do you grant wishes and eat people and stuff?!" It's clear the boy doesn't know fear, young and small still, with new eyes... But familiar ones.

Sebastian's heart drops into his stomach when he begins to recognize the thick, dark hair and deep brown eyes. This boy is the spitting image of the way he looked when he was around 10 or 11... It's like he's been pulled right from Sebastian's old childhood photos.

Too dumbfounded to speak, Sebastian stands there, every muscle in his body tense while his eyes flick around the boy's face trying to figure out how this could be.

"S/N! What are you doing talking to strangers, you were supposed to be at least playing in the yard and not the woods before the sun started setting." Y/N rounds the trees with a stubborn look on her face and immediately freezes when her gaze meets Sebastian's.

The air is knocked out of the both of them, leaving them only able to stare, and he notes the way she's remained nearly the same as the day that he was forced to leave her behind. Like a flower that never wilts, she stands as beautiful and as amazing as she was when he had first met her. Frozen with an expression he can't place, she makes no motion to do anything at all. The larger man acts first at the realization she must be frightened of him, going to put his two unheld hands up and open his mouth to explain himself-

"You said not to talk to strangers, this is CLEARLY a forest monster." Little S/N beats both of them to the punch and confirms to Sebastian all at once that his attitude is as strong in his blood as that unruly dark hair is.

"Heed your mother, would you? I could very well eat you." Sebastian ushers the child forward with a playful threat, the boy in reference pouting and looking back up at him.

"Come on, I'm only out a little bit late! It's not dark yet! Monsters only eat people in the dark." The boy argues, unfamiliar with the idea of real danger, it seems, but certain of himself the way only children really can be.

"Sebastian I can't believe it... Is it you? Am I losing my mind?" Putting the scolding and corrections on her son's statements off for a better time, Y/N looks up at the mutated form of her lover, hoping she might be right. When Y/N speaks, it's soft and uncertain, a hand going to rest on her child's shoulder so as not to lose him while she's distracted.

"You recognize me?" His heart practically jumps into his throat and he struggles to cope with how quickly she's guessed it was him.

"If not for the way one soul knows another, then for your voice and... Our ring." Unafraid just as well, she walks right up to the towering creature and brings her hand up to the necklace it's strung onto around his neck.

"Am I too late?" Sebastian asks, still scared.

"You're late, but never too much. You had better come home now though." She gets firm near the end and he laughs, melting.

"Awe that's no fair! I'm in trouble for being a few minutes late and he gets to be gone forever!" The boy whines and Y/N seems to laugh when she ruffles his hair.

"You can be out of trouble because it's a special day. Now, let's go home and get you to bed." Y/N's eyes stray back up to her husband, the fondness that was there in those beautiful eyes he fell in love with was something that had grown blurry and hard to recall until now. The way her gaze rested on him so softly brought him back like he'd never left in the first place.

"I think I have some things to talk about with your monster, here." She smiles at him and goes to slide her hand into his, the cold feeling against his palm of her own ring -the matching one to his from the promise that they'd made at that altar a long time ago- made him feel warm again, and made him feel alive.

"Yes, I've got a lot of things I've been waiting to tell her for these years we've spent apart."

[sanguineterrain]

I am FERAL over your knight Jason thought. FERAL!!! Okay check this out: so Jason's ignoring reader because he feels guilty right? Maybe he tried to give them back but the king wouldn't allow it. But maybe the reader misunderstands and thinks they're not doing their "duties" so they make dinner and breakfast and wash his clothes and basically act like a perfect spouse. How would Jason react? 👀

Dear god... I feel another series coming on...

Idkidk, their dynamic is just really interesting to me! it's probably gonna be a bit of a slow burn here. Feel free to send more thoughts about them. I am rotating these two like a rotisserie chicken in my brain.

knight!jason todd x gn!reader. ambiguous time period but just assume it's olden times *gestures vaguely*. tw arranged marriage/forced relationship but it's complicated! jason is full of angst and self-loathing but he's a sweetie as per usual. original post for context.

****

The soldier—Jason—has said four words since you've arrived.

The first was "here," which he said whilst handing you a mug of milk. He didn't look at you as he said it, and that morning, he left for a five-day long station. You only know that because he said, after handing you the milk, "I've been stationed."

You realized it was five days when you heard his horse galloping towards the house... five days later.

You haven't initiated conversation because though you're a commoner, and no one ever had much hope for you to become anything but an old spinster, you know not to challenge knights.

But this is fucking ridiculous.

"Do you like veal?" you ask on your fourteenth day here.

Jason is about to leave, his boots half laced. He freezes at your question and looks up.

You stand tall, chin up. This is a normal question. A question a wife would ask her husband, except you're not a wife, and you're pretty sure this soldier isn't a husband either.

"I like veal," he says carefully, slowly. "Would you like me to fetch some from the market?"

Now, this is where it gets tricky. When the king summoned you, he made it clear that you were expected to care for Jason under his rules. You don't know how to navigate this world. You know what couples in your village do, but you don't know what's expected of you here.

"Actually, I..." Jason looks at you. His eyes are very green. He has a surprisingly sweet face under his helmet. "Actually, I was wondering if I could go. On my own."

"Oh."

You brace yourself for arguing or yelling. True, he hasn't raised his voice once, but he also hasn't said much at all. It's like living with a ghost.

"Yes, of course. Of course you can go." He fishes out a pouch of coins and gives them to you. You take it slowly, waiting for him to realize his mistake. He doesn't.

"Thank you," you say.

He nods and watches you walk.

"Wait."

You stop. Here it comes.

"There's a cargo ship in port today. The guards rotate at noon."

He leaves before you can form a thought. You hold the coins, watching blankly as the door shuts behind him. His horse whinnies, and then he's gone.

The market isn't far from the cottage. It's fantastic to be outside again. No one's noticed your absence, clearly, but that's alright. You've never expected more.

You buy a good cut of veal and potatoes and carrots and apples. Jason gave you more money than any cut of meat would cost, so surely he assumed you would buy other food. Why else would he give you so much?

A ship's horn drones in the distance. You're feeling some oranges when you remember his words. A cargo ship.

The sun is almost at its highest point.

"Oi! Either buy 'em or stop feelin' 'em!" the seller snaps.

You roll your eyes and move on from the orange stand. You can see the horizon of where the sky meets the sea from here. Any moment, the guards will change, and the ship will be...

You stop. Was Jason hinting at your escape?

No, he couldn't have been! That's preposterous. Why would he want you gone? The king took you for a reason.

And where would you go anyway? Once you leave, you'd be a criminal forever. You couldn't make a home on your own. And who knows what could happen in between? Pirates, enemy soldiers, anybody could snatch you up.

This must've been a test. A test to see if you would run. That's why he agreed to you going so easily.

No, your escape can't be planned now. Not when you're so obviously uncomfortable, and Jason knows it.

You ignore the ship and go home with your purchases. You spend the rest of the afternoon preparing veal stew. You warm leftover bread over the fire and set a pot of butter on the table.

Jason comes in louder than he has before, humming quietly. You perk up at the sound, happy for the lack of silence.

You set a bowl of stew at his chair and wait by the fire. As soon as he enters the kitchen, the humming stops.

"Welcome home," you say, wringing your hands. "I made supper."

Jason glances at the table, then back at you.

"You came back," he says.

"Why wouldn't I?" you ask, face neutral as you cut the bread into chunks.

"That—did the ship come?"

"Yes."

Jason sits. His face is dirty from training.

"I bought more than veal," you say, and hand him the pouch. "I hope that's alright. We—there were no more potatoes."

He takes the pouch, rubbing the string tied around the top. "You went to the marketplace... and came back."

It's not a question, but it sounds like there might be one behind it.

"Certainly," you say. "I'm loyal to you, Jason. I serve you."

He looks up, blinking rapidly. Then he looks back at his stew.

Oh, right. He's waiting for you to ask permission to sit.

"May I join you?" you ask.

Jason flinches. "You don't... you don't have to ask. I would never stop you from eating."

The words hang in the air. It's like neither one of you can speak right.

You watch him, and he watches you as you serve yourself and sit on the opposite side of the table. Jason takes the first bite, and you eat right after.

"Is the supper satisfactory? Have I done well?" you ask.

Jason stops chewing and sets his spoon down. You're struck by his shift in demeanor. You worry for a moment you've screwed up something as dim-wittingly simple as stew.

His eyes are sad as they fall on you. It's akin to grief, the pain he wears, but you don't know why he's grieving. You silently offer him more bread, pushing it toward him. He takes it.

"Yes," he says quietly and eats another spoonful. "You did. Thank you for supper."

Jason cleans his bowl three times. You have no stew leftover, which pleases you.

But as soon as Jason finishes eating, he gets up, rinses his bowl, and wordlessly leaves.

You don't see him for the rest of the night.

Somehow, you feel lonelier than when you weren't speaking.

[azulpitlane]

just pr I ln4

pairing: lando norris x ricciardo!reader summary: after being caught hooking up with lando, you both decide it would be good for your images to fake date. too bad you hate each other. notes: been loving enemies to lovers rn🫣 masterlist

f1gossip

230,421 likes

f1gossip New WAG alert? After a night of partying, Lando Norris was pictured kissing Y/n Ricciardo outside the club! Onlookers claim they then went home together after this👀 He was seen having a private dinner with another girl just a few days ago and rumored to have brought a different girl on his ski trip a few weeks ago.

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user lando is on a streak LOL

user this is so random?!? i was not expecting this duo but im here for it HAHA

user no cause she rarely attends races but when she does shes never seen with lando?😭

user omg he better not play my girl, I love y/n

user WHAT DOES DANIEL THINK OF THIS OMG

user I wanna read the family gc so bad...

user wait they would be so cute

user is he finally settling down omg

user I hope so, I lowkey see them together

user im here for it!! shes so much better than these other girls hes been seen with

notification center

danny what. were. you. thinking. you're in so much trouble missy call me ASAP!!!

y/bff/n LANDO NORRIS?!?!? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM BEING A PIECE OF SHIT??? girl we need to debrief last night

lando norris we need to talk

Fucking fantastic.

Based on your notifications, you put two and two together and realized you were paparazzi'd with none other than the man you hated the most. You and Lando had a very complicated relationship to say the least. You had met when your brother, Daniel, joined McLaren and from the start he had given you the cold shoulder. You didn't know what you did wrong and tried to be kind to him, but after a while you stopped when he dismissed you like a child. You thought you would get along with him after Danny had told you about his interest in photography. You yourself were a photographer and decided to take the year traveling with your brother to capture some photos in F1, but you had figured the fame was getting to Lando especially after his breakup with his girlfriend. He was starting to bring different girls to the garage in every race and you would never see them again after.

You remember your last interaction with him in the McLaren garage in the final race of the '22 season was when the complicated part of your relationship began.

"What are you doing here, y/n? This is a place for serious professionals, not hobbyists."

"Lando, always the charmer. I'm here to photograph greatness."

"Greatness? You wouldn't know greatness if it lapped you on the track."

"Well, I'm pretty sure greatness doesn't come with an ego the size of your car."

"Watch your tone, y/n. This is a dangerous place, not a playground for kids."

"I can handle myself, Lando. Unlike some people, I don't need a helmet to protect my head."

Both your eyes were filled with hatred as they interlocked, each refusing to back down. As the race begins, y/n continues to snap photos, capturing Lando's intense focus and determination.

After the race, both Lando and Daniel were disappointed they were not able to get into the podium on their last race of the season. Your brother asked for some time alone so you approached Lando, camera in hand, knowing it would be the last time you were in the same garage as him.

"Tough race, Lando. I got some incredible shots, though."

"Don't patronize me, y/n."

"You know for what it's worth, I saw a different side of you on the track this season. It's like you're fighting not just against other drivers, but against something within yourself.

"What are you talking about?"

"I may be the younger sister of your teammate, but I'm not blind. There's more to you than the arrogant facade you put on."

After that conversation, you began seeing Lando less and less considering your brother was now racing in AlphaTauri and you were hardly at the paddock anymore. The few times you did see Lando, the tension had shifted into something different. But it was now winter break and you and Lando were both back in Monaco.

You had gone out last night and you did not believe your luck when you saw Lando in the same club with a smirk on his face. Determined to show you could rise above the tension, you decided to lose herself in the pulsating rhythm of the music. As you moved to the beat, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you found yourself face-to-face with none other than Lando.

"Surprised to see me, princess?" He looked at you with a mocking smile knowing the nickname would rile you up.

"Surprised to see you alone at a club and not wrapped up with some girl? Yes, actually."

"Didn't take you for the jealous type, I like it."

Against your better judgment, you found herself drawn into banter with him. The tension between you turned into a strange kind of chemistry as you exchanged barbs, each remark escalating in intensity. A few drinks were exchanged and you slowly began to lose your guard around him and eventually ending up on his bed that night.

You groaned at the memory of last night's mistake and decided it was best to text Lando back before anyone else to get your story straight. He quickly replied saying he was on his way and you began to straighten yourself up.

"You know usually when I hook up with a girl I don't see her the next morning. Consider yourself lucky y/n."

"Still arrogant as ever, even when we're both fucked right now."

"Well you're a little more fucked than I am really."

"Just get in here Lando." You opened the door to let him in and quickly shut it afraid you would be pictured together again.

"I've got good news for you sweetheart. My team has made a plan to sort this mess out."

"Go on with it. What is it?"

"Jeez feisty in the mornings, heh? But congratulations, you are officially my girlfriend, we've been dating for a few weeks now and have kept it under wraps to figure out our feelings for each other privately."

"A fake relationship? That's your solution? No fucking way."

Lando sighed and rolled his head back in annoyance. He knew you were immediately going to shut this idea down but he had planned what he was going to say beforehand and knew what to say to convince you.

"You think I want to do this? My team needs me to do this, I haven't exactly looked like a saint these past few weeks and hooking up with my friend's sister behind his back isn't going to make me look any better."

"And what's that got to do with me?"

"Well in case you haven't noticed, this doesn't look good on your part either princess. There's some hateful people on the internet already slut shaming you and saying you betrayed your brother. If we tell people we were already dating prior to these pictures, it lessens the hate. Not only that, are you really going to tell Danny you had a meaningless one night stand with one of his friends?"

You knew he had a point. Danny wasn't going to be happy if he found out about the brewing tension between you and Lando.

"Please y/n, the internet already likes us together. This would be good for us."

"Lando Norris saying please? Wow, never thought I'd see the day." You genuinely were shocked at his desperateness for you to agree, you didn't think about how this affected him as much it did you.

"Yeah, yeah. It's only for a few months then we could go back to pretending we dont exist to each other."

"Okay fine, just for a few months. And I'm doing this for Danny, not for you." You quickly agreed not really thinking it would be that big of a deal. Just a few posts and appearances together and this would be over before you knew it.

"I knew you'd give in." Lando gave you one of his infamous smirks and planted a kiss in the corner of your mouth. "Now come on we need some pictures to make this convincing."

And so it begins.

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 3,294,240 others

landonorris secrets out

tagged yourusername

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user OMFG

user im actually so happy theyre so cute😭❤️

user WHAT WAS DANNYS REACTION

yourusername 🧡

danielricciardo on the next flight to monaco btw. maxverstappen1 yourusername ooouuu you're in troubleeee user LMFAO MAX user WAIT DID DANIEL NOT KNOW???

danielricciardo 🫠🫠

user AHAHAH he doesn't seem too happy user 💀

user am I tripping or is he holding y/ns camera🥹

user it looks like the one she always has on her I LOVE THEM ALREADY

user my new roman empire I won't shut up about them from now on

user wasn't lando just with other girls?

user he can have female friends!! its not impossible

part two??

[candycandy00]

someone said filthy and raunchy reqs for ume???? say no more !! what abt both of you eating at pothros and this random guy gives you his number, now ume isn’t used to this as everyone knows you’re bofurin’s leader gf, and at first he’s confused so he doesn’t react jealous, so that somehow makes you feel uneasy, like, why isn’t he getting jealous??

anddd when you both get home, he pushes you against the wall and absolutely PROVES how jealous he is and how disrespected he feels that you think he didn’t care enough 👀 so he shows you he does care ANSBDNFNS i’m such a sucker for him.

thank you so much in advance, if you do this req!!! 🤍✨ if not, thanks either way jsjs!

Lose Your Composure - An Umemiya x Reader Fanfic

Smut. 18+. Rough sex. Fem Reader. Ume is in his 20’s here! Divider by @benkeibear. Any and all feedback is adored!

You blink up at the man holding out a napkin to you, a series of digits scrawled on the paper. Making no move to take it, you glance over at your boyfriend for his reaction. 

Umemiya is looking at the man with the same confused expression you’re wearing. 

You laugh nervously. “Uh, I’m flattered, but I have a boyfriend,” you say, gesturing toward the very tall and recognizable man sitting beside you at the table. 

Honestly, what is this guy thinking? He’s been staring at you from the counter ever since he walked in. Does he not know who Umemiya is? And even if he somehow doesn’t, how brazen do you have to be to give your number to a woman while she’s sitting with another man?

He’s still holding it out to you. “Take it anyway,” he says with a smarmy grin. “You might get tired of this guy sooner than you think.”

You narrow your eyes. You were trying to be polite at first, but this guy is pushing it! “I’m not interested,” you say with a firm tone. 

The stranger shrugs and finally pulls his hand back, shoving the crumpled napkin into his pocket and walking out of Pothos. 

You sigh and look over at Ume, curious to see his reaction, but he’s already gone back to eating his food, a pleasant smile on his face. 

Damn. You were sort of hoping for something else. 

You’ve never seen Ume jealous before. Maybe it’s because he’s used to seeing you surrounded by other guys, and those guys are his friends who would never dream of being inappropriate with you. To be honest, you’d like to see him get a little possessive, just once. You love that he trusts you and respects you, and you love how sweet he is, but is it wrong to want to see your boyfriend a little jealous? A little riled up? 

Just the thought has you getting heated. You’ve never seen Ume in a fight before, though you know he’s strong. He’s made sure to never expose you to violence, and you appreciate his efforts. But it also means you’ve never seen him being serious or angry. You’ve been together for months now, and you’ve only managed to catch brief glimpses of his firm, dominant side. It peeks out every so often in the bedroom, so quick you almost miss it, and always followed by an apologetic look from him. 

Once it was his hand on your head while you were sucking him off, pressing your head down just before cumming in your mouth. Another time it was him gripping your wrists above your head while you laid on your back, his body above yours. He’d seemed to feel guilty about those instances, but you found them extremely hot. 

Now, you were expecting him to have some sort of reaction to a random guy hitting on you right in front of him, but he didn’t. He didn’t even seem to care.  

You finish your meal in silence, occasionally nodding along as your boyfriend talks about his garden or the crazy antics his friends got into today. You’re not mad, but you are a bit disappointed, and you’re afraid that will be obvious if you speak too much. 

After leaving Pothos, Ume walks you back to your apartment. He practically lives here too, but he hasn’t mentioned staying over tonight. Usually he just does as he pleases, so it’s not like he needs an invitation. Still, he seems a little awkward as the two of you ride the elevator up to your floor. Has he noticed the shift in your mood? 

“Is everything alright?” he asks as you step out of the elevator. 

“It’s fine,” you say as you make your way down the hall, digging your key out of your bag. The response came out a bit sharper than you’d intended. 

“Are you upset?” 

The question makes you feel a surge of guilt. Ume has done nothing wrong. But you still feel the way you feel. You should at least explain that. 

You stop in front of your door, unlocking and opening it. You can’t bring yourself to look at him as you say, “I’m not upset. I just expected you to have a bigger reaction to that guy trying to give me his number. It almost feels like you don’t care if other guys hit on me.”

Walking inside and dropping your bag and keys on a nearby table, you still don’t look at him. You hear Ume follow you in and shut the door behind him. When you flick on the light and finally turn to face him, your blood turns to ice. 

Your sweet, adoring boyfriend who is always smiling at you, who always looks at you with the kindest expressions, now looks like an entirely different person. His smile is nowhere to be found, his lips a hard line. There’s a fiery intensity to his eyes that almost scares you, a look in them that you’re certain has made many men quiver in fear. Before you is not your doting lover. It’s the Bofurin boss that has crushed every enemy who dared to challenge him. 

It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. 

“Ume?”

He doesn’t say anything, only moves toward you at a speed you didn’t think possible and presses your back against the wall. Not hard, but firm. 

You look up as he towers over you, his big hands on the wall beside your head. Looking down at you, a few strands of hair slide down around his eyes, and you feel like a helpless little bug. 

“H-Hajime?” You don’t call him by that name often, so used to calling him Ume even before you started dating. His eyes seem to glimmer when he hears it. 

“Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been holding back?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically low. “How much I wanted to break that asshole’s neck for even looking at you? How I wanted to take you right there on the table so the whole town knows I’m the only one who can touch you?”

Your heart is racing, your breaths coming quicker as you stare up at him. You’re already getting wet. 

“And you think I don’t care?” His voice goes even deeper as he leans in, his beautiful face tantalizingly close to yours. “I’ll show you how much I care.”

He kisses you, not in the usual sweet and gentle way, but with his mouth claiming yours, stealing your breath, his tongue pushing in to taste you. 

Your arms automatically move to encircle his neck as you kiss him back, suddenly feeling like all these clothes you’re both wearing are in the way. He fixes that quickly, shrugging off his coat and letting it fall to the ground, then tearing your clothes off so aggressively, he rips your pretty new underwear. 

This is a side you’ve never seen of him. And when he pulls his white T-shirt over his head and looks at you with that burning expression, his hair slightly disheveled, you nearly buckle right there. 

You stand on your tiptoes, leaning up to kiss him again, but he suddenly grabs your shoulders and turns you around to face away from him. You hear him unbuckle his belt, then he’s pressing your upper half against the wall, slightly bending you over, and forcefully spreading your legs. 

His fingers slide down, dipping between your slick folds, feeling how absolutely drenched you are. When he finds your clit, circling and rubbing it with one finger, you moan against the wall. 

He leans over you, his bare, toned chest pressing into your naked back, and says, “That fucker at Pothos put me in a bad mood. You’re gonna have to fix that.”

A shiver runs down your spine. Ume rarely ever uses coarse language, at least in front of you. To hear him saying such things right in your ear as he plays with your throbbing clit is driving you mad. 

“Now spread wider and take my cock,” he says, nearly pushing you over the edge.  

You scoot your feet a little wider apart, as much as you can with your legs trembling, and then his hands are on your hips, grip firm, holding you in place. You gasp as you feel his entire length shove inside you, filling you up to the brim, stretching you to your limit. 

Before you can even adjust to his massive cock, his hands lift your lower half up, so that your legs are dangling above the floor, your upper half wedged against the wall. And just like that, he takes you. His thrusts are deep, powerful, making your helpless body jerk with each one. 

You whimper out his name as your hands press into the wall, trying to take pressure off your face. You were already on the edge of climax before he even started fucking you, now you’re about to explode with pleasure as your kind boyfriend rails you. 

Is this even Ume? The difference in his very aura makes you shudder with delight. How did he figure out this is what you’ve been craving? 

He slams in deep, hitting a sensitive spot that makes you crumble. Your orgasm ripples through you, bringing tears to your eyes as you moan incoherently. Your hands lose all strength and slip from the wall. You think you’re going to fall, but then Ume’s strong arms wrap around your torso, holding you up. The embrace is gentle, even as he continues pounding you with his cock, and you can feel his overwhelming love radiating through his arms, through his heartbeat against your back. 

Then, he stiffens inside you, pushing in so deep it feels like he’s inside your womb before shooting his thick, hot cum into your core. He stays buried that way, still holding you close, until he’s completely empty. Then he gently pulls out and sits you back on your feet. 

Your legs feel like they’re made of spaghetti as you struggle to turn around and look at him. He’s panting, his face red, his hair wet with sweat. And he’s wearing that cute apologetic expression. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, his voice sounding almost sheepish. 

You feel like laughing, but you don’t have the energy. Instead you collapse against his chest. “Ume, you just made me cum harder than I ever have in my life.”

His hands are rubbing your back. “So… you liked that? Me being more forceful?” 

You look up at him. “Yes, but not all the time. I don’t think I could handle that every night!”

He bends down slightly and scoops you up in his arms. “I just wanted to show you how I felt. When that guy offered you his number, I saw red. But I try to keep my composure in front of you. I don’t wanna scare you away.”

You lean up to kiss his cheek. “Every now and then it’s exciting to see you lose your composure,” you say as he carries you toward the bathroom. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says with his sweet smile. 

[happy74827]

Fate’s Design

[Carlisle Cullen x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Not even fate can stop forbidden love. {GIF Credits: Pinterest}

WC: 2051

Category: Angst (with a side of fluff)

Can you tell I rewatched Twilight? 👀 Edward? Jacob? Nah, I’m team Carlisle all the way.

In all seriousness, this took me so long to write out since I’m in that stage of life where there’s no free time 😭

But, regardless, here’s a fic that no one asked for (and hopefully won’t mind 👀). So, uh… enjoy :)

『••✎••』

Funny, how the world works, how fate works.

The day you had first laid eyes on him, you could tell immediately there was something different about him, something... strange. Stranger than strange.

A simple hospital visit, a clumsy fall down the stairs, and here you were, stuck in a place of healing with the smell of antiseptics and disinfectant all around you. For a simple wrist sprang, being around deathly ill people who had no sense of common courtesy was the last thing you wanted to experience.

Still, it couldn't be helped, and so you endured. Endured until that one fateful encounter.

When the nurses brought him into the room, you couldn't help but stare. A young, handsome man who looked barely a few years older than you, pale, cold skin that reminded you of the snowy tundras, and bright eyes you swore turned gold in the light.

Strange, yes. Very strange. But a very good kind of strange, the kind of strange that was captivating.

Carlisle Cullen.

You couldn't help but smile as you thought of the name, as the memories came back to you. The first meeting, the second, and then the third. You remembered all of them, every single one, and the way your heart fluttered like a caged bird each time, wanting to break free.

How long had it been since that first meeting? Five months? Six?

You couldn't be sure, but it was enough.

Enough for you to know that you loved him.

How funny, how ironic, how cruel fate was, giving you someone to love and then making it impossible to be with him.

You were just an average girl with average interests and average talents who had a boring, average job that didn't pay much and was living an average life.

But you were human; he was not.

You were a creature that could live, grow, age, and eventually die while he was frozen in time, a beautiful, timeless statue with an old soul that lived a hundred years in the span of one.

You knew this, he knew this, and that was what held you both back.

Even though you loved him, even though when he looked at you, his eyes burned with the same emotions you felt, the two of you were still unable to come together.

You would’ve given up had it not been for your own stubbornness, your own will to hold on, to see this through to the end.

He was worth it, and you knew it.

And so, you decided it didn’t matter if your time with him would be short because you would spend it happily, without regret.

After all, a few months spent with him was better than none at all.

You found yourself storming into the hospital, pure determination set on your face as you went up to the reception desk and demanded to know where Carlisle Cullen was.

The nurse gave you an odd look but didn’t question you further, and after giving her the information she needed, she directed you to his office.

You were assured he was filing papers, so you didn’t bother with knocking. Instead, you barged in with the burning desire to make your mark, to make your presence known, to show him, without any doubt, how you felt.

You didn't care if he was startled by your sudden entrance, and as you approached him, he stood up, surprise written on his face.

"I’m done, Carlisle," you said, your tone final, a declaration. "I’m so done."

He tilted his head in confusion.

Your hands came to a fist as you rested them against his desk, eyes narrowed and burning.

"I'm done holding back," you said, voice steady. "If you don’t kiss me right now, I'll never forgive you."

Your name came out as a soft sigh from his lips, and you couldn’t stop the shudder that ran through you at the sound of it. The mellow, gentle tone that held your entire being was always catching you off guard, even after all this time.

It wasn’t fair; it really wasn't.

"Kiss me, goddamnit!" You yelled at him, the demand clear in your tone.

And, like always, he denied you. In fact, he practically told you to shut up in his own way by bringing attention that you were still… quite literally, in the hospital.

You didn’t care. It was obvious by the way you kept going at him, demanding he take action.

And then, a gush of wind.

Your eyes widened, and before you could utter a word, the door from behind slammed shut. Not enough to create a loud bang, but enough to get your attention, and when you looked over, his arm was extended out, hand resting on the door.

Just inches away from your head.

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked up at him.

He was towering over you completely, and the proximity made your breathing hitch. His gaze was intense and golden, and it burned right through you like it always did. But you weren’t scared, not even the slightest bit.

This was what you wanted, after all.

So you kept silent and waited for him to make the first move. Any move, really.

A few seconds passed, and then, ever so slowly, he lowered his head. But he didn't lean down far enough, no. Instead, his face inched closer and closer to yours until, finally, all you could see were his eyes.

And all you could think about was his lips.

"As much as I want to," he began, voice soft and smooth. "You and I both know it's not that easy."

"Yes, it is," you retorted, stubborn. "You're just making it hard."

"I'm being realistic."

"Realistic? Really?" Your face twisted into a scowl. "Says the man who's not even human."

"That's precisely why," he said. "You’re…"

His voice quivered, just slight enough to be noticeable. It made your heart ache, and you were ready to interrupt him, to say that it didn’t matter; nothing else did.

But you stopped yourself.

It was only right to hear what he had to say.

"You truly wish to want… this? To give up the happiness of your future, the family you deserve, to be drowned in sorrow, all for me?"

His words were sincere, his voice quiet, and the expression on his face was one you could barely comprehend.

"Drowned…? Drowned?!" You echoed his words; brows knitted in a deep frown. "Carlisle, I'm already drowning! Right now!"

You paused, trying to calm yourself, but you could feel tears prickling your eyes. This wasn’t how you had imagined it going.

"It hurts," you confessed, voice low. "It hurts me that you don’t understand, that you think so little of yourself."

Carlisle's breath caught, and his lips parted in surprise, but you weren’t finished yet.

"It hurts me that you think I could ever be happy without you," you continued, your voice rising a bit. “Carlisle, I have found happiness in you. I am happy with you. The day we met, I was a wreck; my wrist was a wreck… everything was a wreck. But then you came, and now, now I'm happy. You make me happy."

The look on his face was unreadable, but it didn’t deter you from speaking your mind.

"Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see that you’ll always be twice the man than any other human being out there?"

Silence.

He didn’t answer, and the longer the silence stretched, the more your heart hurt. Carlisle was a good man; he was. He was a good doctor, a good father, and, of course, a good-looking guy.

He deserved the world.

And if the world couldn't give it to him, you would.

"If you can't see it, then fine," you finally spoke, and it was almost a whisper. "Then I'll do it for you. I'll tell you every day. I'll keep telling you until it sticks."

The corners of your mouth tugged upwards into a shaky smile.

"Even if I have to keep yelling at you."

He exhaled, and suddenly, he looked much more relaxed, and you realized that you had gotten through to him.

It made the tears that were gathering in your eyes spill over.

"At least I know you wouldn’t toss me aside when my personality eventually overpowers my looks," you mumbled, laughing.

"Toss you aside?"

There was a sudden, sharp edge to his tone, and when his hand came to rest under your chin, gently, carefully, your eyes shot up, staring into his own.

You didn't realize it, but the way you looked at him, the expression on your face, it made him see something different, something he never expected.

A woman who loved him. Truly, sincerely, deeply, and completely.

He couldn’t believe it, and yet, you were right there, in front of him, your eyes shining and reflecting nothing but adoration and admiration.

Your eyes were shining, but not with sadness, no, not anymore.

It was a beautiful sight, one he would remember for all of eternity.

"I'd be a fool to do that," he whispered, his tone sincere, and when his other hand came up, his fingers brushing over your cheek, a featherlight touch, he could hear your breath catch.

"A complete and utter fool."

You watched the smile grow on his lips, and it was so beautiful, it was unreal.

But this, the feeling of his hand on your skin, the coldness contrasted by the warmth of your own body, the gentleness of his touch, it was surreal.

"Carlisle," you murmured, and he was still staring at you, but there was a new intensity in his gaze. "Let me give you the happiness you deserve. Let me."

You took a small step forward, and his hand was still resting under your chin. You didn't dare move or speak again, not until you could read his face, the expression on his features.

It was difficult, however, and just when you thought he wouldn't say anything, he spoke.

"I can't guarantee the future or the happiness," he admitted. "Not for myself, and not for you, but-"

"But?" You couldn’t help but smirk.

"I can try," he answered. "For your sake, I'll try."

You should’ve expected the response after that, the speed at which his hand moved from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you forward, and his other hand, moving downwards to rest on the small of your back.

You should've, but you didn't.

All you could do was stare at him, your eyes widening, and just when you opened your mouth to speak, to say something, anything, his lips were on yours, and all the coherent thoughts left you.

You could hear the thumping of your heart, loud, thundering, and it drowned out all the other sounds around you.

He was gentle and careful, and the kiss was nothing more than a brief, feather-light press of his lips, but it was enough. It was enough to set your whole body on fire, to have you lean in, to have your hands come up, grasping onto his lab coat for dear life.

You could feel the coldness of his skin, but the taste of his lips was indescribable.

He tasted sweet, like vanilla, and the longer his lips were on yours, the more the flavor lingered until you couldn’t remember how your own lips had ever tasted.

When he finally pulled away, it was as if the world was spinning and all the strength left your body.

"We're not in the clear just yet," he murmured, his gaze still intense, and it sent a shiver down your spine. "There are many things we have to talk about and many things to work out, but-"

"Carlisle," you breathed out, your grip on his coat tightening. "Don’t talk. Just relish."

You leaned forward, and he did the same, his eyes fluttering shut, and as your lips connected with his, your mind was filled with a single thought.

This.

This was right.

It was perfect, and the world was a better place.

The funny thing about fate is that if two people are meant to be, no matter the time, the place, or the circumstances, they'll find each other.

The two of you were living proof.

[daistea]

(Def not King lurkin into your asks)

Saw that you take requests,,, 👀

What's your thoughts on a sexual relationship with Mithrun? I always get a little stumped with those requests, and you're just *chefs kiss* when it comes to your characterization of him

CRIES HELLO THANK U ILY

ummm tw: spoilers maybe? and nsfw

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

Pre-Demon

Mithrun is a total slut, sorry.

That's not a bad thing, obviously, it's just what he is. I mean, he doesn't admit or acknowledge it. He has a very difficult time accepting his preferences. He's just a slut in denial.

That's all.

Pre-Ending, Post-Trauma

Mithrun hasn't had a real boner in forty years, sorry.

He has no interest in being intimate with anyone. He's really casual about the subject, though, because the Canaries--- sans Pattadol--- are pretty honest and open with each other. Shameless.

Fleki thinks he needs to get laid, but she doesn't care enough to push the subject.

Mithrun isn't emotionless, though. He's just preoccupied. His sex drive is extremely low at this point. However, he's observant enough about others to notice how you feel.

He'll have sex just for the sake of having it. He's kinda forgotten how it feels. And he still has pleasure receptors and nerves and all that nonsense. He can still physically react. You just have to do some work. He's not going to be super enthusiastic, but still consenting ofc

Mithrun is a total pillow princess at this point.

It's a bit calming, actually. Kind of therapeutic.

He's relatively quiet, but sometimes he can't help but exhale shakily, or groan. His touches are light. He's not very passionate. But sometimes he looks at you with these slightly dark expressions, as if he's considering something more. Something you don't quite understand.

Post-Canon

It starts out slowly. Mithrun doesn't immediately regain a sex drive. It needs cultivating.

The first time is really important. Depending on who you are and what you're like, it could range from soft and explorative, to rough and frantic.

Mithrun is a switch. I see a lot of depictions of him as a bottom, and I see that point of view, I really do. But I genuinely believe he'd work both roles. He would like to be dominant sometimes. Other times, he just wants to sit back and let the new feelings take over.

He likes being called a good boy.

He doesn't really enjoy the fact that he likes being called that. It's demeaning and it kind of makes him a little irritated, but holy crap does it set him on fire. 'Good boy' should only be invoked in the most passionate or rough of moments.

Mithrun can be rough when he feels like it. He can push you against a wall with the intent to make you forget your own name. He can leave bruises with how tightly he digs his fingers in. He bites, as always, but harder.

Speaking of biting, he'll usually bite your shoulder to keep himself from making much noise.

Mithrun wants to consume you entirely. He wants every inch of you. Your focus should be on him and him only. He likes hearing his name from your lips. Over and over. And he will often ask you who you belong to. He sounds calm in those moments, though, level-headed and scratchy as always, but there's a hint of expectance between his words.

He'll say it back, too, but in a very casual way, as if he doesn't quite understand why you want him to say that. Of course he's yours. Does it need to be acknowledged?

He has no shame, either. Anywhere, any time, if he wants it then he'll initiate it. He only pulls you into private alleys or closets because he knows that's what you prefer.

When you take charge, he enjoys that too. He likes looking up at you, taking in the view, letting his hands wander.

Whether he's top or bottom really depends on his mood.

If he's feeling especially jealous or possessive, he leaves a lot of marks.

He likes praise. He doesn't really give it back, though.

He's not very talkative during the deed, but if you talk often he'll just end up clamping a hand over your mouth.

He enjoys wrapping his fingers around your neck. He doesn't really like that in return, though.

No mirror sex.

He really likes oral. He can be a little selfish with it, actually.

Mithrun isn't a sadist LOL but he does like to tie you up sometimes and leave you hanging. It also depends on how you are as a person and what your dynamic is like.

If he's not in a dominant mood, he's a pillow princess again. Those are the days when he's not feeling as much, when he's not as locked in to his desires. Or, when he's just mentally or physically tired.

No matter what mood, he still needs a lot of care and affection. He needs every ounce of your focus.

He doesn't provide much aftercare. You're the one doing that, no matter who topped. But he eventually learns a bit and starts kinda reciprocating out of sheer habit, because he knows it would make you happy.

As I always say, Mithrun stares a lot. His gaze follows you everywhere, and he'll never get tired of the sight of your body.

He sorta passes out afterwards. It's one of the rare times when he doesn't need a sleep spell. He often will just pass out on top of you.

In general, he's a switch and how he acts is highly dependent on his mood for the day. He needs a lot of attention and affection, and likes to mark you up. He lacks shame, he'll initiate it anywhere. He's relatively quiet, but breathy. Sometimes, he touches you like you're porcelain about to crack. Other times, he manhandles you like a rag doll and does whatever he pleases. If you're able to, manhandle him in return, he'll probably get a little pissy with you but it's still funny.

:0 !

★・・・・・・★

[luselih]

Another new tumblr page! Welcome welcome!

I was wondering your thoughts on some of the Bleach captains with a very petite s/o? Think like… 4’8 - 5’2 , teeny tiny lil things. Someone who “looks” frail at first glance. Is someone smaller their type? Would that factor into any pursuit? 👀 You can go into NSFW territory if you like, but I’d be happy with SFW too!

miniature love(r) || gotei 13

summary/ask: bleach captains with tiny/petite s/o! (height underneath 5’2 / 157 cm tall)

content warnings | manga spoilers!!, separated in sfw/nsfw, sfw- mostly fluff (a little bit of angst) and my personal opinions of them having tiny fem s/o, teasing, kissing and physical affection, mentions of kids and domestic life, i think that’s it for this part, nsfw - so smut of course (minors dni), fem! reader, neutral skin color reader, yapping too much about kinks ,size kink go BRRRRR, oral (receiving), different sex positions, wlw!!, overstimulation, breeding + pregnancy + kids mentioned, mentions after care + more…

a/n - #1 i am actually using tumblr last 3 years but i just recently got back into writing lol and you got my european ass to convert those feet’s and inches to centimeters, 😦 i am like 5’8-9 feet ( around 175 cm-ish tall ) so please if i didn’t get a good point in this writing im sorry 😭, didn’t write for old man Yama, sorry not sorry honestly, he’s best grandpa tho <3

#2 also to say i wrote for captains in that picture (start of tybw lineup) if you are interested in past/future captains please send me a request! i don’t mind doing them later on~ Toshiro is aged up (grown up/him using his complete bankai)!

SFW!

Suì-Fēng is interesting one since she is not the tallest one (as tall as 150 cm (4'11")) definitely so she is leaning more into taller or at least average sized ones. However i don’t think she minds someone around her height, they can get each other struggles and solve then like you climbing on her shoulders to get a food from a high cabinet in a kitchen or gets in a tiny space together comfortably, yeah i think she is content with it!

Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi would like to have someone dandy on his side, dressing you up in fancy clothes and accessories. Having you as his dress up doll at home~ (sorry this is dry, i don’t like his characters that much lol)

Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana isn’t that tall either being 159 cm (5'2½") tall but her terrifying aura so there is no one pick on you and definitely not her in entire Seireitei so that’s nice <3 However i see her personal preference is someone taller but she also doesn’t mind having “a puppy” following her in free time ;)

Shinji Hirako, this little shit of a man would tease you till a day you die, picking on you as you are just trying to do your job or just passing by, he would put just get your paperwork and lift it that his lanky ass could reach and stuck his tongue out at you, eventually giving in and giving it back with a playful grin and a kiss on a side of your cheek as a apology, saying he won’t tease you again and then teasing you AGAIN not even an hour later 🤦‍♀️

Byakuya Kuchiki would honestly prefer someone who is tiny imo, that has already been proven right since he was with Hisana who is most likely same size as Rukia so there is no doubt. As a head of a clan he likes the feeling that his dearest could rely on him in anything, call it whatever you want but it brings him a sense of something he lost once and he is not planning to lose it again.

Sajin Komamura is TALLEST one 288 cm (9'5½") so as i said he would be probably more found of someone taller or average sized…however! that’s doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy having you around, in both of his forms he would carry you bridal style at late night hours or when Seireitei is empty so you two could have your time without having a fear of being judged or made fun of because of your appearances.

Shunsui Kyōraku, this man hoe likes every woman. He is a proud women lover. He loves any shape, size and complexion in women, he would absolutely adore having you close to him anywhere, especially in his bed late at night as he brushes your wedding rings together :)

Kensei Muguruma is on a more neutral side since i can see him wanting a tall and strong s/o he can fight and train with, but something in me is telling me that he’s a traditional man, he likes to be needed and wanted, be able to stood out in front of you proud, strong and straight to protect you.

Tōshirō Hitsugaya would finally be relieved that there is another person that is small, he’s so mf tiny that you are just maybe slightly taller than him anyway, in his true bankai form he’s around Byakuya’s height so he just might indulge himself into telling you a slight teasing comment, yeah i think he would like someone tiny to match him-

Kenpachi Zaraki would have a smaller s/o without a need for you to be smaller than an average woman in height, he’s like tall-tall, strong and intimidating compared with every race anyway. However i do have a feeling that he would like to have someone so dandy and small like Yachiru since she is a practically a part of his soul so he is found of tiny and cute things. Since his little Yachiru left ( :( ) you had become one who would sit on his shoulder as you two have to go anywhere, imo he probably wishes that one day if you two had a little kid together that it would be little girl who is his eyes is a little Yachiru who you two take care of, but this one have a little eyes just like yours and he likes that very much <3

Mayuri Kurotsuchi, this is weird one because i can see him not really having a type? He barely likes anyone, yet your tiny ass got underneath his skin and now you are here for him. Following him as you two raise Nemuri together, you 3 now looking like a real family!

Jūshirō Ukitake :( gosh i love him so much, anyway he is so nice with you, since you both are physically not very strong, it would make it easy but he fears he couldn’t protect you in time because of his fragile body :( yeah, can definitely see him with tiny s/o <3

NSFW!

Suì-Fēng - i think she loves classic scissoring as you two play w each other’s clits, can’t go well with that one and also, just sit on her face when she’s angry and don’t you dare to put only 10 percents of your body weight on her, fucking sit on it like a chair and let her spend her big mouth on a good job between your legs~

Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi - into Dacryphilia, absolutely loves when you get all pretty and dolled up especially in tiny dress, Pretzel Dip or missionary as you cry from overstimulation, looking so ruined and perfect just for him <3

Retsu (Yachiru) Unohana - man, if you haven’t died when she showed a 8 inch strap up your vagina and fucked you like she hate your guts you are good 👍 anyway, she fucking loves when you ride her or when she puts you in a mating press, absolutely filthy as she splits in your mouth you just because. ( she had a secret breeding kink but shush 🤫 don’t say you heard it from me, also i got some trans!Unohana thoughs, anyone interested in hearing it? comment down please!)

Shinji Hirako - he’s such a meanie in bed too ☹️, i mean he would literally yank you back by your ankle and continue giving you head with his pierced tongue, gosh the overstimulation is crazyyyy with him. Absolutely loves snuggling after it and his hand sliding on your side gently as it went to tease your kitty cat AGAIN-

Byakuya Kuchiki - he must be in love w you if he brings you to his bed so missionary or any position where he can see your face and kiss it is a must, he makes love with you and genuinely only fuckes you if he is jealous or mad, probably have a savior kinks/hints of it sometimes + soft kisses down your back as he praises you after 🥹

Sajin Komamura - (human version) when you two have sex he can’t help but to have a need to make you his because of wolf genetics in him so pretzel dip or prone bone are his favorite positions to make your tiny mind mindless as he might just cums inside if you especially in spring 🤭

Shunsui Kyōraku - loves cowgirl/any version of it so he doesn’t have to do too much at least at the start, see you bouncing on top of his cook as it’s tip bullies your cervix is a fever dream, pressing against your lower back or tummy just for your pussy get a death grip on his dick, isn’t fully interested in pulling out so pregnancy is inevitable sooner or later my dear 🫡

Kensei Muguruma - he is a simple man so he goes doggy or full nelson, fucks to fucks and myb slightly into bondage?? absolutely makes you squirt by fingering you, hate sex??? he absolutely demolish your poor pussy if you flirt w Shinji or Rose, he will kiss your forehead after it tho <3

Tōshirō Hitsugaya - (grown up version) doesn’t have that high of a sex drive but he adores you so he indulge into your horny cravings of him, loves spooning or Scissoring (just mlw) so he can kiss your shoulders or forehead as he for sure makes you cum couple of times at end of the night, secretly loves cookwarming but shushhh 🫢

Kenpachi Zaraki - actually fuckes you in every position possible and everywhere you can imagine, loves stand and deliver (The Bicycle position) as he is chocking you while pounding into your tight kitty, your bodies only stability is his arm that you are gripping for dear life and yes, he isn’t pulling out since he say so <3

Mayuri Kurotsuchi - doesn’t have that high of sex drive but he would absolutely make you deepthroath his length if you are bratty enough, probably some doctor/patient roleplay, people of Seireitei are scared to see his genuine smile if they see a little girl with both of your features??

Jūshirō Ukitake - my sweet man can only had cow girl/variations + missionary sex position with you so he doesn’t finish too soon, absolutely PERFECT with his fingers and has a praise kink so absolutely praise the living shit out of him as you make love underneath the moonlight all night long so he can be happy <333

[lucabyte]

i'm so curious about your character gender reads now tho 👀👀

(You enter the kitchen and see me, eating shredded cheese out of the fridge by the handful)

(I turn around to face you.)

Hi. Do you want me to sell you on amab NB Siffrin? I'm going to try and sell you on amab NB Siffrin. And maybe even a little bit of tranfem siffrin and/or loop. as a treat. just for you.

So, (I put the cheese back in the fridge.)

This read of mine comes from a number of things, a lot of them to do with the game's themes, and to do with Siffrin being a narrative foil to the other characters. And Vaugarde as a whole.

(READMORE WARNING: THIS IS LIKE 6K WORDS LONG. YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW BY NOW I DON'T MAKE POSTS WITHOUT UNCONSCIOUNABLE AMOUNTS OF EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATION. IF ANYTHING I'M BEING RESTRAINED HERE. THUMBS UP.)

(Pre-readmore note: this is in response to me having given an analysis of how I personally percieve Sifloop in relation to asexuality and shipping. Which you can look at here. (x))

It is however, not what my like, no-holds-barred no-rules just-for-me headcanon for Siffrin would be. (which is intersex 'head empty no thoughts' siffrin, for the record). This is instead my close-reading-of-the-text-and-themes interpretation of Siffrin. This is why I'm gonna be saying Read and not Headcanon, to distinguish the two. (Anything I consider a little bit too much of a stretch vis a vis interpretive hard reads I will call a headcanon. But those are for the last bit of this post.)

Unlike *gestures at mass media* All That… ISAT is already packed to the gills with queer rep, to the point where I feel no need to grasp at straws and make overextended reaches into obviously unintended subtext. Like with, y'know, most media. Since here, the subtext isn't unintended. Like this isn't a Transfem Metal Sonic or Aroace Ash Ketchum situation where I know none of the evidence is on purpose and I'm just having fun making a conspiracy theory pinboard out of it. This is like… There's intentionality there. And I want to engage with it on its level, see what the text itself suggests. It's my personal preferred method of expressing deep respect to a text. (Not that it has to be anyone else's, obviously. This is just my way of showing I love a work.)

So yeah, I am, in general, very interested in hearing hard-fought arguments when it comes to interpreting texts. I'm glad ISAT has a lot to pick at here, and so, I will. (and since not a lot of texts ever have anywhere near this kind of depth in this arena, i don't wanna squander it… i'll try and keep my own biases as in check as i can, and already have done by hashing quite a bit of this interpretation out with two people of very different gender identities to mine. To put it mildly, binary-aligned or transfem I am very squarely Not.)

(Now that the cheese bag has been removed from the equation, I drop this framing device, sit you down at the table and begin to dredge up evidence from below it.)

Okay, so. What are my like… Core reasonings here? I think I can split it into three categories. Broadly, with an amount of overlap, so bear with me…

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Okay so up top I'm going to split my argument for Siffrin's gender identity Present and Future here. This means, for now, I'm arguing for AMAB NB Siffrin alone. The transfem stuff is for later (and more for loop, in my mind, too).

I have a few direct observations of the text here that set things up. Here are the things in-game that make me assume that Siffrin, as of the start of the game, has not yet undergone any radical change to their identity in their life. Not on purpose, at least. These are ordered in a messy but logical flow, so uh, try and keep up. I'll synthesise at the end. I Prommy.

SIFFRIN AS A FOIL AND CONTRAST TO MIRABELLE, ISABEAU AND THE CHANGE RELIGION AS A WHOLE.

CHANGE & THE UNIVERSE: PERCEIVED OPPOSITES

When interacting with most objects in the Changing Room in the house, they express a genuine curiosity toward body craft. It seems they are legitimately unfamiliar with it on a deeper level than having simply heard of it.

Despite this curiosity (explicitly stating they've previously wondered about it), they dismiss it as too much work early on in the game. These points combined seem to suggest to me that they have never previously sought out any kind of real change to their appearance or identity. Either for gender reasons, or other body dysmorphia reasons. (Which, despite the dismissal, they do refer to their body as a 'meat prison', which is not particularly positive) However...

This changes in Act 3. In acts 3 and 4 they flatly state: "You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now." While still never spoken aloud, their declining mental state corrosponds with a worn-down, almost nihilistic reckoning with the feelings they masked with the 'meat prison' joke in act 2.

[Image: Interactions with the change craft textbook in acts 2 and 3/4.]

In talking to Mirabelle, they are very self assured that one can stay the same/be comfortable with their born identity. They also seem a little unsettled by the change religion's flippancy in general, which makes sense, as they have been clinging to the famliar (even when painful) to cope with other traumas. (More on this later, section 2)

The Universe Faith appears to heavily disincentivise Wanting for oneself and other expressions of Free Will due to safeguarding against Wish craft. This seems to have impacted Siffrin's mental state majorly, even if they do not recognise it. The followers of the faith are (if Siffrin is to be believed) incentivised to 'go with the flow' and take paths of least resistance, and those that DO make big decisions will tend to justify things as being The Universe's Will. (See: The King's entire Modus Operandi, and the way Loop (and Siffrin) do the same rote actions, constructing worldviews (the play analogy, the Universe's Will) and justify that as what the Universe Would Want (despite a total lack of evidence to prove as such)) As such, it seems as if a follower of this faith as neurotic as Siffrin would be unlikely to act upon any Wants to Change Themselves without a lot of turmoil and backwards-justification. (Of note, Loop's forcible change coinciding with a dropping of pronoun. But that is again for later, section 3) As of the start of the game, they do not appear to have broached this kind of turmoil directly.

[Image: Act 5 interaction with the star journal, emphasis on it being a cautionary tale against reckless usage of wish craft, instilled so deeply to be a children's bedtime story]

Siffrin, in act 5, grows frustrated with both The Universe and The Change God, feeling abandoned by the former. They struggle with simultaneously anthropomorphising the Universe as a cruel onlooker, while also seemingly acknowledging them as a cold, almost scientific fact of nature. This would heavily imply that the 'blame' put upon the Universe by Siffrin in these moments is known to them, at least a little, to be potentially meaningless. It seems that somewhere in Siffrin's belief system is something, be it the core or merely a creeping worry, that the Universe is not a thinking, feeling, thing. And thus that their invocations of "The Universe's Will" are merely rationalisations of random chance and consequence. This is in DIRECT contrast to the Change God, proven to be an emotive sapient entity, who merely refuses to offer a helping hand. (Similar sentiments are, too, spoken by the Change God itself.)

[Images: Interacting with the window in the observatory in act 5, text from the change god meeting]

So. These are the bulk of my observations when it comes to how Siffrin is positioned in contrast to the Change Belief. It would seem to be that Siffrin, inkeeping with their role as an outsider, is a complete fish out of water in Vaugarde's change-centric world. This makes sense! It makes them a compelling foil to the Vaugardians in our cast, and allows the Vaugardians to challenge Siffrin's worldviews merely by existing. It also, more importantly, makes Siffrin an interesting lens through which to inspect our two most Change-driven characters. Mirabelle and Isabeau.

MIRABELLE.

Mirabelle and Siffrin's differing faiths are put on display the most frequently. Interactions like the circle key and the party's disbelief of Siffrin's facts about the stars make this clear. These interactions other Siffrin from the group further, and are another avenue through which Siffrin can ignore their own needs, not communicating with the party and allowing them to dismiss things he deems important.

Obviously, the friendquest is primarily about Mirabelle's struggle with her aromanticism and asexuality. But there's an implicit undercurrent of gender there too. Mirabelle has never made a big change, not like Isabeau. She has never 'changed completely', by her words. And Siffrin distinctly finds this an odd thing to be worried by. Whatever culture he carries has no pressure to explore these avenues, it seems. Siffrin is able to help her by sharing their honest opinions, that he's never felt the need to change these things, and he's happy (allegedly). Why should she?

[Image: Mirabelle's friendquest text] Siffrin is not thinking particularly hard when he first does the friendquests, they are just being themselves. By positioning Siffrin as this unchanged yet confident object, they are in the perfect position to help Mirabelle by being in her almost exact position, both sexuality and transgender status (albeit, with the caveats of potential alloromanticism, and a they pronoun), that they become her ideal foil. (And in fact, the subtle differences between their positions in canon add to this, showing a display of Perceived Genuine Truth, rather than simple in-group camaraderie)

Whereas…

ISABEAU.

When Mal du pays speaks as Isabeau, it says the following;

"I don't want to know someone who won't even try to change, who luxuriates in things staying the exact same like you do."

I don't want to know someone - Shame of being known, that's Isabeau's insecurity. Reflected back at Siffrin, who has become the worst thing imaginable to each of their friends, in Siffrin's own mind. He absorbs their insecurities like a sponge and incorporates them into himself. Empathy turned ill.

Who luxuriates in things staying the exact same - Now THAT'S interesting. This is not Isabeau's insecurity, it's Siffrin's own. But also, it appears as if, Siffrin, whom to Mirabelle was unflappable in that not changing was alright, has internalised some of her worry. That it is MDP's Isabeau saying this, though, shows this is about Personal Change, perhaps even Specifically Gender and Self Image, rather than Mirabelle's spiritual side.

Isabeau and his distinct change in personality and gender, to become someone who he actually likes… Diametric to Siffrin, who has been stagnant for a long time, presumably as far as they can remember. It would seem to imply they have no recourse against this argument. Siffin becomes, in his mind, the opposite to Isabeau, a man he deeply admires the bravery of when told the story of his Change. These are Siffrin's words against themselves, that they consider themselves to have never even 'tried' whatever it is they think Change to be.

So. These are my main points vis a vis: Siffrin as a foil. This reading would posit that Siffrin's He/They status is, well, almost accidental? Which I would imagine befitting of them. They are, at the start of the game, still the mysterious rogue who never elaborates upon anything. They aren't going to be correcting a they/them from a teammate who is likely far more cautious about assumptions.

Notably, Mirabelle excludes Siffrin from the label "man" in the bathroom monologues… But as does Siffrin when in the prologue poem room. Though one needs remember, Siffrin only expresses these thoughts internally.

[Image: Bathroom conversation featuring Isabeau identified as the party's singular man]

[Image: Prologue!Siffrin expressing that they are not a man in very certain terms.]

While I do wonder what Mirabelle's knowledge (or lack thereof, potentially! Did Siffrin actually divulge this to her, once? Or is she making assumptions again?) is here, this is pretty clear evidence that Siffrin doesn't see themselves As A Man. (that, and Adrienne's word of god "fella" comments). I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this… but.

The thesis here is, that Siffrin may want to explore their gender further; doesn't feel connected to Masculinity, and yet, keeps that He pronoun around? Well, the Universe does not, in Siffrin's mind, really allow for personal wants and desires. If their friends start they/themming them, then cool. They like it, but never requested it, so it's the Universe's will. But, asking? Making decisions and requests and rocking the boat? That seems to scare Siffrin a lot. It seems to scare them so much it causes a lot of, if not all of, the conflict in the game. I feel like it's a fair deduction that this aversion to humour their own desires pervades a lot of their existence.

Plus, I think there's meat there. By only allowing Siffrin to reckon with any potential desires to change only after growing closer with the family, you get to explore things like "How does Mirabelle feel that even the person who said she didn't have to change is changing." and the slightly less potentially harrowing (OR MORE, IF YOU WANT IT TO BE? IDK. I'M NOT YOUR BOSS.) "Isa's continued changing allows Siffrin a space to explore it, maybe even just by proxy, or maybe by joining them."

But mostly, this section is about how Siffrin not having Changed Yet makes them delightfully strong narratively; allowing them to relate to Mirabelle, and get cold feet when comparing themselves to Isabeau. I love this as a narrative strengthener. It's very rare in media that we get to explore a nonbinary character's thoughts and insecurities on whether or not they're "doing enough" to be nonbinary. Even less so Aligned nonbinary people. And reading that alignment and insecurity through the lens of a nonbinary person not fully disconnected from their assigned gender at birth? It's a very compelling exploration of a very common and raw and yet underdiscussed feeling, much like the rest of ISAT. I think this is an extremely potent element should it be read this way, and is only strengthened when taking Siffrin's other themes into account.

Speaking of which.

2. SIFFRIN'S HABITS OF CLINGING TO 'KNOWN QUANTITIES', SCAPEGOATS, AND THEMES OF RACIAL IDENTITY INTERSECTING WITH GENDER IDENTITY.

HOLDING ON TO WHAT YOU KNOW. (OR KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT.)

I explained above many of my thoughts on the Universe Faith, and trying to keep these two sections separate was difficult, but needed to be done for the sake of clarity. But this section and the above are deeply intertwined.

Siffrin… Holds on to the things they know. They do not know much. But man do they fucking hold. And yet, paradoxically, they are also avoidant about it.

It is made clear in the text, to the point where I really don't feel the need to rehash it here, that Siffrin's disconnection from their homeland is incredibly painful, but that they consider that culture utterly and irreplaceably important to them. They cannot face it, it is too painful. They cannot let it go, it is too important.

Knowing what we know of the Island's irl inspirations (though, word of god, the exact location is not supposed to matter, one can infer it from the text (and I did! within reasonable proximity!)), Siffrin is of an indigenous peoples of some description, more than likely. And at the very least, Siffrin carries with them inherent biases and ignorances that show that Vaugarde's conceptions of things don't quite mesh with their own. Bowing to the Vaugardian way of things could very easily be seen as assimilation, in this way.*

And identity? Gender? Presentation? Role? All of that has a cultural element. There's no telling what specifics Siffrin has lost in that arena, and that's the problem. Neither do they. How paralysing, the feeling, to know that should you change yourself you risk unknowingly erasing another piece of home? I wouldn't blame them for locking it off. Keeping their old clothes, keeping what little they can remember of themselves… It doesn't seem to me a conducive or safe mental space to get experimental.

And the Universe makes for a perfect scapegoat. As referenced in the section above, a lot can be justified should you call it "The Universe's Will", because who's there to call you on it? Hardly anyone. Your divine right to Freeze A Place In Time; Your Deserved Punishment for Wanting to be Loved: All of it the Universe-- If you want it to be. And thusly, if the Universe wanted you to be a certain way, wouldn't you already be? Wouldn't it make you so? (Wouldn't it take away your body, that which makes you human? If that is what it thought of you?) So best to put it out of your mind. Wouldn't want to accidentally wish anything.

But as the game itself puts it, personified by The King, you cannot stay mired like this forever. As Loop themselves puts it, they can "get so fixated, sometimes." At some point they need to allow themselves to grow in whatever direction they need, because in the end, they need to live their life. They don't need to abandon their country, their culture, but they can't let it restrain them either.

(* MASSIVE CAVEAT: im white as fuck boyyy. i cant say shit. im like technically Of The Land im like 90% pictish or something ridiculous like that so my particular line has never moved anywhere but. this is notttt something i have input or insight on. this is all gleaned from reading and listening to indiginous perspectives from wherever they may be. i am simply trying to infer from what the game gives us without inserting my own feelings on the matter.)

3. SIFFRIN, LOOP, DE-PERSONING, DEHUMANISING, APATHY AND SURVIVAL.

Alright, here's some less heady and purely-thematic points to round things out. And where we'll also address the fucked up star being in the room; Loop.

My last couple of reading points are the most potentially-transfem to me. Or at least the ones that really hammer home, to me, a seeming lack of want to be masculine-aligned.

ANOTHER NOTE ON THE 'NOT A GUY' THING.

Obviously, there is the aforementioned "Not a man/not that you're a boy" thing. This is rather straightforward, but also still pretty ambiguous. You can be masc-aligned and still Not A Guy. But it does seem to be of note that being a guy very much does not seem to be a goal of Siffrin's. I would posit this in direct contrast to… Isabeau.

But not Isabeau's masculinity. I would instead hold it up against Isa's femininity.

ISAT, as a text, has its characters have genuinely different levels of security in their gender identity, and Isabeau, despite still having insecurities, seems super chill on the gender angle specifically! Their internal strife comes not from their 'not feeling like a man enough' or 'hating being a woman', but instead from their self perception as a friendless nerd! Something that seems to be only tangentially related to Isa's gender, really?

The big dumb bruiser thing is certainly aided by being a dude, but Isa still seems completely comfortable referring to themselves with feminine language, calling himself a "mother hen" (prologue) and having "the heart of a fair maiden" (cookie snack time). (However, they also take being excluded from Mira's girly book club as a surprised compliment, implying they weren't expected to be excluded, and find it affirming.) And even further so, Isa states they want to continue changing further and exploring their identity more, being rather blatant that they might lean back into femininity (and more importantly, let themselves be outwardly smart again), since they're starting to feel hurt by everyone assuming they ARE genuinely stupid.

[Image: Prologue Isa calling himself a mother hen]

And man, this is such a breath of fresh air vis a vis representation. I don't think I really need to explain that. A character who's gender identity is driven by chasing euphoria, even if it started out by trying to drive out misery. Isabeau's character is so damn good. But this essay isn't about him, so get back in the crate, boy.

... So here we have Isa, who is genuinely comfortable reclaiming things about their birth gender, and Mirabelle who loves her traditionally feminine traits to the point where she feels a little guilty that she isn't rejecting them to foster change. And then we have Siffrin… who seems to reject masculine language…? Hrm… (… And then we have The King. A Masculine Title. Someone who Siffrin increasingly sees themselves in and deeply, deeply dislikes this.)

APATHY AND SURVIVAL

It should be clear by now that I see Siffrin's core character as being driven by avoidance and survival. This seems to lead to a lot of apathy, brushing off emotions that are too intense or events and occurences that are too painful. (See: just absolutely everything with Bonnie)

It's all Siffrin really seems to be able to do to Survive. They've travelled, seemingly alone, for what would be around a decade by what the game says about the island's disappearance. They've lived alone on the road as a traveller in a country that so openly welcomes strangers that THE KING and his whole motives can happen. Siffrin is avoidant and refuses to acknowledge problems or strive for help and comfort.

So. That line about the dress. Let's unpack the line(s) about the dress.

THE DRESS LINE, AND THE WAY IT CHANGES BETWEEN PROLOGUE, ACT 2, AND ACT 3.

Good god where to start with this. Full disclosure, the first draft here was way more vague in how I approached this line because I remembered it (and another line, I'll get to it.) way more tame, but going and getting the screenshots..... Siffrin. Buddy. We gotta unpack this.

In act 2, we have "You haven't worn a dress in forever!". This is a neutral, if seemingly a little joyous statement. All we really glean from this is the information that Siffrin at some point, wore 'a' dress. No real inferences there. (Maybe you could say that the singular as opposed to plural makes it more likely that they borrowed/only owned One Dress rather than owned several? But that's a massive stretch...)

Then, act 3/4 shuffles this off into a more general "You wonder if you'll ever wear different clothes again." Which is a more despairing and distant statement. Considering Siffrin seems to travel with only the items they can carry, and owns sleep clothes... It's unclear how many changes of clothing they have. The party seems to consider the cloak a pretty permanent fixture, anyhow. But this line doesn't really say much aside from 'oh god i'm losing myself to the time loop malaise'

NOW THE PROLOGUE. Prologue Sif, buddy, pal, Loop, if I'm allowed to call you that....

Thousands of loops in. We are wistful for specifically dresses. You've forgotten almost everything. You dream about someday seeing the sun again. To be anywhere but here. You want to wear a dress again.

I. Kind of do not know what to do here but point at it. Like I said, my first draft had me half-remembering the progression of this line and as such I was far more vague on what I thought it could imply. Instead this is just straight up yearning.

To, try and segue back to what I had initially written, we'll pick up here...

Siffrin expresses a want to wear other clothes, explore changing their body... But instead, they wear a ratty old form-covering cloak that keeps them warm and safe and is a last reminder of home. They are shapeless, formless, hiding their face under the brim of a wide hat. They do not voice their desire to wear a dress aloud. They once again, keep a desire to themselves, because they do not allow themselves to want publicly. Apathy is safer. Apathy and quiet means you do not risk retribution or hurt.

While I do not think the above is exclusively a transfeminine feeling, it really, really reads like one when taken part and parcel with assuming Siffrin has denied themselves prior exploration.

... And here I have to break my first draft again. I was being, once again, restrained in my reading when writing this. Because I had convinced myself I had maybe straight up imagined one of the lines I was basing my reads on, because I couldn't find it. Because it was a line that read so strikingly desolate to me that my brain had slotted it in during Act Five, meaning when I went looking for it neither me nor my friends could find it.

It's in acts 3 and 4. It's a line I already brought up.

"You're thinking about crafting your body. You seem to have all the time in the world now."

good fucking christ. sorry to break the academic tone but Jimminy Fucking Willikers, Siffrin. What's with that bit. The resignation and despair and guilty comfort we know the timeloop brings them, bleeding into the gender.

This. *taps my finger harshly on my desk* THIS, this feels transfem. this feels so wildly transfem to me. The knowledge that they've never changed before this line lends. The admission that they've been holding back because it's 'too much work'. I spent a lot of time during the game relating Siffrin not to myself but to my friends.

If I'm honest, really, truly, I'm not all too often in Siffrin's shoes. I'm the stable one, of my group. I'm the rock people ground themselves on. And I see so much hesitance, all the time. Denial of joy because what if it's taken away, again? Or futilely out of reach? It hurts more to try, and to fail, than to never try at all.

I wanted to shake Siffrin by the shoulders this whole game. Grit teeth beg them to accept help because for fuck's sake people are clearly offering it get it through your skull--

*coughs* Ah. Ahem. Right. The uh, academic tone.

Right. What I mean to say is, this read as transfem to me because of the way it relates to real-world experiences of denial. And this combo of the Dress line, and the progression of the Meat Prison line, the constant evidence of never having strived for what they want, and that insistance that you're not a man, seem to dislike being percieved as a man, but not being able to shed the outward signifiers?

Individually, yes, these points can be read in different ways. The total opposite ways, even, I'm sure! But as a gestalt it feels really, really transfem. Even if yeah, sure Vaugarde is a magical setting where being transgender is accepted, and this hesitance, specifically, around gender, might not 'make sense' in 'the lore'...

Diegesis isn't everything. Sometimes something that reflects a real-world feeling is important, even if it doesn't 'mesh' with 'the lore' of the world.

TANGENT: DIEGESIS AND READING INTO NON-REAL-WORLD-SETTINGS.

This is a Watsonian vs Doylist spectre that's been haunting this whole argument. In-universe (Watsonian), Vaugarde has seemingly no discrimination between genders, sexualities, and a lackadaisical approach to most things in the arena. Reading our own patriarchal/heterosexual/amanonormative/perisexist society unto it does not make sense, not in this context.

In the real world, however (Doylist), ISAT is a text made in our prejudiced society. A text that is distinctly flavoured by those bigotries which it is kicking back against. Because of this, it is not the whole story to simply read the text while discarding our real-world-informed inferences. Isabeau is a big example of this. While perfectly accepted in Vaugarde, he is very obviously a revolutionary character in our real-world space! He has so much to say, specifically BECAUSE things about him that are not readily accepted here, are accepted there! Same with Mira's struggles, and yes, Siffrin's too.

ISAT was written with the knowledge of how it would play against our real world in mind, we know this, clearly, from many an interview. This is most present in how it engages with asexuality and aromanticism (and immigrant identity), but make no mistake, it influences the Whole Text.

Ergo, just because I view certain writing choices here in the context of Our Real World Perspectives On Gender and not Vaugarde's In-Universe Perspectives, it does not make them an invalid read. They are simply a Doylist read.

There's been an admittedly loosey-goosey lack of delineation here between things I'm reading with either lens, because for the most part all of these points have been a vague synthesis of both that I can't quite decouple. Unprofessional, I know, but I'll admit to not having written my thoughts down like this in a good long while. Usually I just hash this out verbally over discord voice to a small number of weirdo literature and classics student friends who are willing to humour me. I'm an arts student too, but animation hardly required I actually write an essay to a literature degree's standard. Lol.

DE-PERSONING. AND LOOP. OH JESUS . LOOP .

Siffrin de-persons themselves a lot. I say de-person rather than dehumanise because, well, there's a subtle difference there. Siffrin doesn't see themselves as vermin or an animal or an object, but they do seem to see themselves as lesser, not requiring the respect they grant others. They aren't, you know, a 'real person'.

People get to have things like thoughts and wants and identities. Siffrin is, at best, Just Siffrin. They have what they have and they don't ask for more and they don't (CAN'T) feel too strongly on what they do have!

When Loop at first offers their pronouns they offer the Royal 'We'. This is at least a little bit, a joke. A nudge toward their true identity, a potential dig at themselves for becoming so understanding of The King. Mostly though, a joke on the first thing…. and a sign that they do not see themselves as a separate entity to the Siffrin stood before them.

When Siffrin rejects this, they settle for they/them. Loop drops the he/him, presumably partially to cover their tracks, but… They just showed their hand with the 'Royal We', and if you wanted to go even further with this, there's no way for us to know whether Loop is treating this pronoun as singular or not. They presumably are, but it is still a potentially plural pronoun.

Loop… Clearly does not see themselves as a person. It's, I would say, a completely reasonable assumption that the form they have taken reflects implicit feelings toward themselves as less than a person, an actor, a monster, a tool, a means to an end. They are rendered inhuman by The Universe, frivolous distractions removed. No mouth, inventory and clothes confiscated, nothing between the legs. Formed roughly in the shape of a person to allow them to do their only job: Help.

Loop's body does not make logical sense, given their continued ability to sleep, dream and their continued habit of deep breaths to self-soothe. It would seem to me, it was made in the image it was, with only the tools it needed to Help Siffrin. Why obfuscate their identity? Because giving the game away too early would likely make them lose hope. Why so deeply, thoroughly star themed? An instant signal, that even if a stranger, they are an ally. They are home.

[Image: Loop saying that they take naps and dream, and evidence of Loop habitually attempting to breathe in the twohats lose-to-loop ending]

And they… Degender themselves. No longer with any bodily signifiers of masculinity, and cruelly disallowed the ability to hide themselves beneath fabric, they are null. The spoiler Q&A (paratext, as it were) states that:

Q. Is Loop: 1. Actually comfortable with both he and they, but only gave the one pronoun to emphasize the distance? 2. Only using they/them because a large life event led to a shift in identity/ how they’d like to be perceived? or 3. time lops stole he from they they :( A. Mostly that first one. But all three of those reasons have a bit of truth to them.

While the 'mostly the first one' comment does imply that Loop would not baulk at being he/him'd (similar to how Siffrin does not), the other reasons, especially the second, having 'a bit of truth' does lend credence to this reading. That Loop's self-perception has shifted, and what I posit, is that this shift is in tandem with a disconnection with humanity. Due, presumably, to the dehumanising experience of the timeloop.

Loop has no biology to speak of, and yet they remain blind in one eye. I take this as an implication that they considered this so core to themselves, to who they could remember being, that it stayed. Even if they had forgotten their own face, trapped in a part of the house with no mirrors, they knew they couldn't see. They kept this, and yet seemingly they, or The Universe, or both of them in tandem, discarded all else.

This isn't like…. Healthy behaviour. That is for certain. But it is interesting that Siffrin and Loop seem to hold on to their masculinity by a thread, and that Loop, when actually given the excuse to make a choice, chooses the Neutral Option. Siffrin might de-person themselves, but Loop, Loop is absolutely dehumanising themselves. From Loop's own mouth (or lack thereof) do they call themselves a Corpse. That's… pretty damn bad.

TANGENT 2: POTENTIAL IMPLICATIONS OF THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION.

Did somebody say 'distance'? Yeah turns out that has some more potential evidence. In the form of First Person Pronouns. See, English, with its third person only pronouns relies on others to gender you. Japanese, you get to gender yourself. And Siffrin specifically has an interesting discrepancy in the way he refers to himself.

(DISCLAIMER: I . DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT JAPANESE. THIS IS SECOND-HAND KNOWLEDGE. SOURCED FROM THIS TUMBLR POST AND OTHER QUICK SKIMS OF WIKIPEDIA)

Loop and Siffrin use the same, very neutral "mostly male but could go either way" pronoun of 僕 boku. Safe, soft friendly pronoun. Used by people on the younger side of adulthood, not so impolite that you can't use it in a formal setting. Such a neutral all-rounder that female singers in japan tend to use boku in their songs to relate to the audience with quiet confidence.

And in their internal monologue? Siffrin uses a completely different pronoun. In his head, for himself, he uses 自分 jibun. Now, this may be an artefact of the monologue's english second-person "You", since jibun can also be used to mean a very neutral "self". A "myself/herself/himself" type 'self'. But when used as a first person pronoun, it has a connotation of being… distant, introspective. Which is… a fascinating implication, if that was the intent.

But I don't know anything about japanese so ! If I'm off the mark, discard this!

LOOP, PART 2: MAYBE NOT A GREAT STATE TO BE IN.

While Siffrin I can comfortably argue that they can like, keep their current gender presentation, whatever you may perceive it to be, once the game is over, Loop, I cannot.

Siffrin's potential issues with their identity are ones that honestly feel like they would best be explored with gentle refinement and searching. They don't need to violently seperate themselves from what they are now, far from it, in fact. They need to learn to grow comfortable in their own skin, and with the people they love. To become open and trusting, with an open mind to where it may lead.

Loop has already lost this battle. They don't get to refine anymore, just pick up the pieces. While I don't necessarily think radical change is Good for Loop, I think they may Need It. For them, resting will probably become stagnation (see: napping all day under the tree, resigned, really, to the idea they're stuck there forever.), they need a shake-up in order to re-find their feet. Even if they end up right back where they started, they still need to do the actual painful process of soul-searching first.

Problem is, they're still rather avoidant. So it basically becomes a question of getting them into a situation where this exploration is forced upon them. At which point, that's a whole new plotline. This becomes fanfiction. Hence, why while I think Transfem-Egg Loop is a Valid Read when extrapolated from Siffrin… I must concede any actual adventures into them acting upon that as headcanon territory. I just do not know how you would get them there without making a whole new Thing, at which point it stops being Just A Read of the text haha. It doesn't help that Loop and Siffrin (grudgekeepers supreme) both have reason to spite the Change God after who was phone.

As for whether this egg-read reflects directly back on to Siffrin? Maybe! They are the same person. But I think that, especially with Vaugarde's lax views, and their actual differences (Loop's general worse mania // Siffrin's incentive to stay a reminder to themselves and Loop of their country) means they could easily go two different routes, along the road to becoming their own distinct individuals. (And in all honesty, growing into their differences is probably the more healthy option in the long run if you're keeping Loop around? But again, we are going so far into the future here this is no longer a read. And I am not here to dispense baseless headcanons without massive disclaimer, so…)

Tl;Dr:

Siffrin's Survival-Apathy and hesitance to change feels really thematic to their being 'what's left' of their homeland

They seem unsettled by the flippancy of the Change Religion at times, clinging to the familiar to cope with the trauma of displacement.

Mal du pays speaks of them that they have not 'tried' to change, showing an insecurity there, even outside of the literal stagnance of the loops.

They are self assured to Mira that one does not have to change, in a very genuinely personal impulsive statement.

They and others exclude themselves from being "A Man", but Siffrin keeps desires to explore their expression to themselves.

The Universe belief, seemingly in Siffrin's view of it, disincentivises Free Will and Wants very heavily. It is not hard to assume they extend this to all elements of their life.

They have self-admittedly never pursued tangible change, likely due to this aversion to choice. Despite this, they express interest in changing, seeming nonplussed with their body, and house at least some desire for more traditionally feminine expression.

Oh Good God. Loop Sure Does Not Treat Themselves Like A Person. Why Does That Come With A Pronoun Change? What Does That Mean?

But most of all:

It makes them such a fascinating foil and lens to Change and characters who believe in it! It makes them eerily similar to The King! It opens up such fascinating debate between characters like themselves and Mirabelle, Isabeau and Loop, on whether or not they want to change in future, or if it truly is okay to never radically change yourself! What genuinely fertile ground for dialogues. And man if I'm not heavily drawn towards dialogues.

(End of essay! Congratulations for making it the whole way! 🎉 I hope this nightmarish deep dive helps with understanding some of the ways I've been writing Siffrin and Loop too. Since while I've not ever focused on the gender side of it (and probably won't in comic form) this does pervade my view of the two, since it would be impossible for it to Not. As you can see, I do think it is pretty relevant to both their themes.)

(Now for some bonus material)

ADDENDUMS:

PERSONAL BIAS NOTE:

Not included in this analysis since this is more a Pet Theme of my own (usually kept quarantined to the realms of my OCs), but something else I see in Siffrin is a reflection of the Dude Issue(tm) of patriarchal irl society disincentivisng Dudes(tm) from ever fucking introspecting ever.

I'm curious about nonbinary/trans characters who have no idea they’re nonbinary/trans because they’ve been disincentivised from thinking/doubting their identity due to societal power structures or simply tradition. I dig around the themes of “a lot of guys are trapped in a societal prison without ever knowing and it makes them miserable but they can’t escape because they don’t even see the cage” like, a lot, in my personal work. It intrigues me. So bleh, cards on the table there. That mode of interacting with nb/trans characters is one I'm inclined to.

This kinda goes hand in hand with the watsonian vs doylist situation i took an aside to mention. But it is so far along the doylist side that I didn't want to include it, since it is a little too assumptive of the text for my comfort. I don't think the game necessarily has much commentary on this specific Societal Bind. But if it does, then hey, there's my thoughts on it.

STRAY SIDE NOTES AND HEADCANONS ABOUT OTHER CHARACTERS (AS A TREAT FOR GETTING THIS FAR):

MID-GAME OBSERVATION ABOUT BONNIE AND ODILE THAT I NEVER WENT BACK TO VERIFY:

I got the impression that Bonnie heavily favours they/them pronouns for Siffrin, and Odile he/him, as a bit of presumed character voice. I don't know that I am right, literally at all, in that observation, because it very well could've been confirmation bias.

BUT! It did give me the impression that one of the things Bonnie was idolising about Siffrin was a degree of "wow!! older person with my gender!! wow!!", which is just like, cute. I like it even if I don't have any solid evidence.

ODILE, WHAT'S HER DEAL?:

Oh she stays just as mysterious as she intends to be, huh? Even with her comments in the Changing Room alluding to knowing things about underground changing operations, you can't draw much of a conclusion about her. I appreciate verily that she's word-of-god unlabelled and also poly. That shit's great. Woman who has stopped drawing lines or caring what she's up against. Nice characterisation flavour I think.

Anyway, I do think that transfem Odile is a really, really nice take. I have no evidence in either direction for her in either direction, and her being a woman of any description makes her relationship with her absent mother something interesting to chew on, but the idea that she pursued womanhood intentionally lends an interesting texture. I've not much to say, but it's a thread to pull on. Makes you wonder what other female role models she had in her life instead. Anyway she's mysterious as fuck I can't extrapolate Jack nor Squat. Shrug! I'm also made curious by the idea of her potentially moving away from womanhood as she feels the weight of her history lifted. This goes either way, really. Diagnosis: mysterious.

HEADCANON NOTE: INTERSEX SIFFRIN

I don't have any in-text support for this so this entire thing is an unbased headcanon to me. but i DO like it because 1. fun and 2. potential for more thematic exploration

haha gotcha its fuckin themes again. its always themes with me.

But yeah. Not much to say here besides drawing a parallel (that I believe I've seen drawn elsewhere in the fandom already?) between ISAT's comments on how a society that values change would view Aroace identities, and how Mira feels about not wanting to change with the real world experiences of Intersex people having alteration and conformity forced upon them, saying the Change Belief would likely be just as bad for them as it is for aroace people.

So, adding it to Siffrin's situation further drags them into the opposition-to-change foil role. Which like I said, think has a lot to explore.

HEADCANON NOTE: A POTENTIAL METHOD FOR GETTING LOOP OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMNED COMFORT ZONE

I think utilising Loop's contrarianism is an effective and funny way to get them to explore their gender. I personally think running with them trying to hide their identity from the party is a hilarious way to do it. Having them try to position themselves in direct opposition to Siffrin to "throw the party off their trail" (not that i think they really need to?), going full feminine-revealing-clothing because it's NOT what a Siffrin would do and accidentally growing accustomed to it. Funny to me. Especially when the party eventually do find out who they are and go . "????? what was the girl stuff about ??? is that something you wanna do now ???".

[Isabeau] "Ohhhh it was a bit! Haha you really are Sif, still a jokester!" [Loop] "HAHA YEAH . JOKES. LOVE THOSE. LOVE TO MAKE JOKES!" [Isabeau] "Yep! Anyway. Tell me if you need anything!"

Bonus bonus:

[Siffrin] "Okay, so, if you're a girl. Does this reflect on like… me?" [Loop] "No doubles. Get your own gender, parasite~!"

[tkwrites]

A Surprisingly Fortuitous Bus Ride - Quinn Hughes x ofc

Title: A Surprisingly Fortuitous Bus Ride 

Author: Tory / @tkwrites 

Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts

Summary: Due to circumstances outside of his control, Quinn finds himself late to a FaceTime date with Sarah. When she starts some fun by herself, Quinn can’t help but join in, even if he can’t see her. 

Warnings: Smut (18+ only!) - masturbation, vibrator use, phone sex (sort of), long distance relationships, a bit voyeuristic? 

Word Count: 973

Comments: In an effort to provide my fellow Americans some distraction on this very stressful election day, I present to you Quinn getting Sarah off with the vibrator she gifted him for his birthday - with a twist.

The idea of this came into my mind, and I just had to write it down. It also happened to be the piece that was closest to being finished. 

I hope you enjoy! If you did, please let me know by commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask. Your encouragement and comments truly inspire me to keep writing. 

Also, let me know if you’d like to see a part two!

Anonymous asked: Can we expect to see Quinn putting that new vibrator to use with Sarah in the near future? 😍

Anonymous asked: Any change we could also get a little something of Quinn and Sarah for the election stress 👀 

A Surprisingly Fortuitous Bus Ride 

A  Quinn & Sarah Snapshot

Even though they were coming off a matinee win over the Penguins, this wasn’t the way Quinn would have chosen to end his day. 

Their plane broke down in Pittsburgh, so what should have been a two hour flight turned into a three and a half hour bus ride. He knew things had to be done, and they had to get to Ohio to get in some solid sleep before the game tomorrow, but bus travel was his least favorite. It was crammed and smelly, and the bus rocked in a disconcerting way the plane never did. 

He couldn’t fall asleep and on top of everything else, now he was late for a FaceTime date with Sarah. 

She’d messaged they day before, wondering if he had a room to himself in Columbus. 

When he confirmed that he was indeed roommateless the next evening, she responded, Oh, thank God. I’m so horny, I’m going insane. 

Can’t you get yourself off? 

Yeah, but it’s better when I can hear you. 

That message had made him blush, but also filled his chest with so much pride, he felt like he could have single handedly taken down Crosby. 

And now, he was stuck on this fucking bus. It definitely wasn’t the way he wanted to spend his evening. Especially not when Sarah was relying on him. 

Trying to distract himself with the book he was reading, he almost didn’t look at his phone when it buzzed in his pocket. 

Eventually, his curiosity got the best of him, and he pulled it out, wondering if he’d find another message like the ones from yesterday. Instead, the notification read: Lush: engaged

This bus ride was about to get a lot more interesting. 

Anytime this notification came through, Quinn always felt a heady rush of euphoria. Sometimes, he didn’t even join in on the fun. Just knowing Sarah was pleasuring herself never failed to make his mouth water and his pants a little tighter. 

She’d confessed a while ago that the toy she’d given him for his birthday was her favorite, even if she was controlling it herself. 

The first few times they’d used it, he watched her get herself off with it before taking over so he could learn her limits. 

Now, he opened the app and watched the slider for the internal motor tick up. The external motor stayed low and steady. He hardly ever saw it move. Occasionally, she turned it off altogether.

Watching the levels increase and decrease a few times, he knew she was working herself up — easing in, so the intensity the toy could bring on didn’t become too much.  

He never thought he could get so breathlessly turned on from watching a slider move on his phone. After a few more minutes, he couldn’t stand it anymore. His fingers were itching to take control. 

Finally giving himself permission, he switched the vibration pattern of the internal motor from the steady buzz to the thump-thump-thump. He liked to watch her fall apart around this particular pattern as it often caused her to breathe, moan, and clench down in rhythm. Watching her body sync up with it never failed to make him breathless. 

Quinn Hughes! Her text popped up at the top of his screen. What the fuck! You can’t even see me. 

In response, he turned the vibration up a tick. In case she decided to call, he put his AirPods in, though he hoped she wouldn’t. He was sure he’d start moaning if he had to listen to her orgasm, knowing he was controlling the pace. He was practically panting just imagining it.  

I know what you look like, he shot back. I’m getting through this damned bus ride imagining how you sound. 

The fact that Quinn was still making her feel this way when they weren’t even on the phone — that he was just watching the levels on his screen, relying on his memories to guide him — was incredibly hot. The fact that he knew her well enough to get her off without any visual or verbal cues made her feel cared for and loved on top of outrageously turned on. 

It wasn’t as fun when he couldn’t hear or see her, but he still knew what she liked. After a few more minutes, he changed the pattern again to one that slid from low to high and back again. 

Although she was alone in the house, Sarah still cried out, clutching at the sheets as pleasure rocked through her. 

He let that one tease her for a while before switching back to the thumping and turning it up two ticks. 

Before her first high had a chance to edge off, he switched the vibration pattern back to the thump-thump-thump he liked so much, and it sent her careening into another orgasm. 

She wished he could hear her. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck! Quinn!” 

The vibration stayed true and strong as the pleasure eased off. Before he could switch it again and send her into another overstimulating orgasm, she groped for her phone and turned the toy low enough that she could pull it out. Slick with lube and her release, it jumped out of her hand as it buzzed back to life. She had to wrestle it still until she could turn it off. 

While she liked the orgasms as much as the next girl, she knew it would be even better when he was listening or watching, and if they kept going now, she wouldn’t have the energy to play once he was on his own. 

She hadn’t expected Quinn to join in at all. He was on the bus, for god’s sake. She just needed something to tide her over until that evening.

She sent Quinn a melted emoji along with the message, You better be getting there soon so you can finish what you just started. 

A smile beamed over his face. 

Just an hour longer. 

Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist 

To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist