#i would be drawing him RIGHT NOW if i wasnt stuck at my dad's place sick with a fucking head cold

[tri-punisher]

you people NEED to draw razlo more im serious there is such an insane drought of content for him im fucking starving

[winderlylandchime]

WE ARE ON 3x07! 1/2 *pauses tv on Brian getting head and looks at me* ‘how awkward do you think this was to film? Like i know it’s a job but what if…he actually gets turned on?’ (This is the moment where I actually thought about telling him Gale is straight but went against it to not “ruin” the magic) *starts ep again* ‘oh shit, Ted is in deep shit isnt he? THIS IS BULLSHIT!’ *ethan pops up, he pauses the tv and smacks his head* ‘OH COME ON! There’s no escaping this fucker is there?! OH WAIT JUSTIN DIDNT TELL HIM HE SAW HIM? nevermind. i forgot Justin can drive. Why couldn’t he ever drive Brian’s car? WHY DIDNT HE TELL YOU? WHAT DID HE SEE? OH THOSE ARE THE WORDS OF A MAN TERRIFIED THAT HIS BULLSHIT ROMANTIC ACT IS GONNA BE EXPOSED! Oh he was a muuuusic student? bro be fucking for real. Justin sounds like HE is jealous? Dude. Bro. You’d have a stroke if someone mentioned Brian right now. (ethan says fans will think he’s sexy) Oh god, I’m actually afraid that if i roll my eyes one more time that theyll get stuck.‘ ‘FUCK YOU COP BOY! HE HAS A SON! Dude, Gus’ dad is literally every parents nightmare when it comes to role models. BRI WHY WOULD YOU BRING HIM TO LIBERTY! HE IS LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE PLACES! How can he not realize this is bad? I’m sorry but he isn’t dumb, so this is all bullshit. There is NOTHING to clean up at liberty. He’ll whip his ass? Oh he’s gay for sure’ ‘I think I should give Ted a lesson into how to talk to your mom on the phone. We have a lovely relationship! I tell her about my recovery and Brian and how Justin is stupid for leaving and she tells me to go fuck myself and then asks about my day and tells me she loves me. It’s perfect.’ ‘Sooo instead of talking to his boyfriend and being like either you stop drugging your tushy or im out, he’s making his best friends ex boyfriend draw him? Mike, be honest with me..where were you on the day when the good lord was giving away a brain that worked?’ ‘WHY ARE WE HYPING UP ETHAN? WE HATE ETHAN? Why did we never hype up Brian! HUH DEBBIE?’ Mel said shes not most women after she had a negative pregnancy test ‘you’re right, “most” women dont annoy me this much. And “most” women would go to the sperm bank instead of the best friend of the previous donor that they oh so hate’ ‘BRIAN! God i hate that car. OH TEDDY! (brian says hed sue if he was ted bc of the photo) Remember when he said he’s gonna sue that guy for saying he’s 31? That was funny. And a better time. Lets go back to the coupley brian and justin. I miss that. BRIAN WHAT THE FUCK?! TED IS YOUR FRIEND! WHAT IS GOING ON? Tell me how did he plan on driving with snow all over his peanut car?’ ‘DAPHNEE i love her! DID YOU SEE THAT FACE! SHE HATES THAT KAZOO FUCKER JUST AS MUCH AS I DO! COMES FROM LIVING WITH BRIAN?! FUCK YOU JUSTIN! Bri didnt cheat! He wasnt sneaking around. You knew cause he told you. How are you gonna blame him for that? THANK YOU DAPHNE HE WAS HONEST! I knew you and i would get along! Now give me Jen and Daphne and Brian together! Oh my god Justin, who are you trying to convince that you love him and arent worried he cheated? Me or you?’ ‘BRIAN! It’s my boy Brian! Working on a homophobes commercial. This is pure bullshit! He would never. EMMETT AND BRI BRI! Why is Brian suddenly such a horrible friend to them? What is going on? This isn’t normal? THATS RIGHT EMY TELL HIM! He DOES care about his friends even if he acts like he doesn’t. I feel like Emmett is the only one who can kinda scare Brian. Bri Bri, this is bullshit why are you doing this to me? He’s just a little lost because of Justin. I’m sure of it, right? *looks at me all scared*’ Stockwell and Brian are currently in a steam room ‘oh this is the first hetero steam room he’s been in, huh? exactly Brian! Help Ted! Oh this dude is for sure gay. WHY DOES IT ALWAYS GIVE ME ETHAN AFTER BRIAN?!’ HE THEN PAUSED THE TV TO GO ON A SMOKE AND I WAS ACTUALLY ANGRY BC THEE SCENE IS UP!!!

I feel like Emmett is the only one who can kinda scare Brian. <- YEP

I am just going to present this without comment because my comments are all "yes" and "right on" and "exactly."

[gloriafc]

Amazing Wife

Jack never expected to let anyone close to his heart, until he met you. You had it the instant he laid his eyes on you.

You're a surgeon, a prodigy attending. You're friends with Miranda and Ben, when she was grumbling under her breath you asked her what was wrong, "Ben forgot to grab his lunch, so now I have to cancel my meeting to take it to him." "I can take it. My shift is almost over. I'm just finishing my paperwork."

You walked into the firehouse and Jack instantly walked over towards you with his charm on. "Can I help you with something?" "I'm just looking for Ben. He forgot his lunch." As soon as you finish your sentence Ben rounds the corner, "Prodigy! What brings you here?" You quickly toss the lunch box to him, "You stressing your wife out." Jack watches the two of you interact a little jealous of Ben for the moment. He instantly perks up when he hears Ben offer you a tour of the place, "Alright. I'll bite, only if theres coffee involved."

When you get to the end of the tour Ben shows you the kitchen where almost everyone is waiting for the girl they noticed instantly caught Jack's attention. They attempt to get to know you, not expecting you to be a super human. "Why does Ben call you prodigy?" "I sort of am. I specialize in multiple areas of surgery. Fetal, peds, gynecology, neuro, and plastics."

It takes Jack a few weeks of begging to get Ben to invite to one of their outings after work. Ben gets Miranda to agree to bring you drinking with everyone.

That night Jack manages to get your number, Ben eventually telling him he couldve just asked him for her number, "But what's the fun in that without the chase."

After a few months you begin dating. And Jack doesnt know how to explain it, but dating you is different than all the other woman hes dated before you. Eventually he figures it's because you're way out of his league, but soon realizes it's because you are different from ever single woman hes dated.

He can see how other men look at you, you're young and successful, and you're hot, what couldn't they want? And normally he'd get jealous but he trusts you with his life. The times he does get jealous or you look like you're getting uncomfortable he'll grab you by your hip and pull you close and he'll refuse to let you go for the rest of the night.

After a few years you get married and he finally knows what it's like to have a family of his own, even if it's just the two of you. You manage to talk him into considering getting a cat. And as much as he hates the idea, and hates how much the cat takes up all of your attention he'd get you another one if you asked.

After being married for two years you find out you're pregnant and at first Jack doesnt know how to feel, he doesnt want to end up like the parents hes never met. But you eventually ease him into the idea and then he couldn't be happier especially when you start to show. He's slightly upset he can't lay his head on your stomach as you watch tv anymore, but he's settled for drawing random shapes on your belly and watching the random movements from your child.

Jack is amazed when hes able to feel the baby kick. He goes as far as feeling it at least once a day minimum, if his hands could permanently stayon your stomach they would.

One day the two of you go separate ways, he heads off to work as you take advantage of your day off and decide to run some errands.

When he gets a call hes talking to Dean about random things like always. When they show up at the scene they get the rundown about the scene. "Three car accident, the last cars brakes failed as they were going down the hill. It rammed into the back of a parked car, that pushed it forward. There was a person walking between the second car and the one in front of it, squishing them." Jack looks at the scene and instantly recognizes your car as the one squished in the middle. Dean does as well and instantly tries to hold Jack back, "Jack you need to calm down." "CALM DOWN! THAT'S MY WIFE AND MY CHILD!" "Hey I get that. But the call says only one person was injured besides the driver." Jack freezes seeing you pop up on the side and start looking at the person stuck between the cars.

Before you realize what's happening you're trapped in two arms, and after a few seconds you realize its Jack from his cologne. You understand immediately what he was thinking and instantly start soothing him, "We're okay. I was inside using the bathroom when it happened okay?" After a few moments Jack's back in action. You get told to stay off to the side because of any fumes that may have been released from the cars. You watch everything happen until the person starts to seize.

You quickly grab a mask and a pair of gloves before climbing over your car and climbing behind the patient. "Y/N get down." "You're pregnant." "That's not safe." "Are any of you a neuro surgeon? This person will continue to seize unless you relieve the pressure in his head, can any of you do burr holes?" When no one answers you continue, "Then I suggest you listen to the pregnant person and get me a drill."

Ben assists you, being the only person with surgical experience, as you do the burr holes. Everyone watches you in amazement as the patient slowly stops to seize as the blood build up is released. You stay behind the person, using your lap as a head rest as they start to move the car off of him. Jack makes you take his jacket when they have to bring out the saw, which gets him scolded at but he could care less, as long as he's keeping you safe. Everyone listens as you talk to the person, keeping him calm. "You two must be married." "What makes you say that?" You laugh when Ben jokes, "Their playful banter?" The guy chuckles as he mindlessly stares at the trees around him, "That's how I was when my wife was pregnant with our first child." You keep the man talking when he sucks in a breath, "How many kids do you have?" "Four. How'd you learn to do that?"

You smile at the man who's referencing to the burr holes you did. "I'm a surgeon at Grey Sloan. Neuro is one of my practices. One of the first things I learned as an intern actually." "Just one of your practices?" You let out a chuckle, "I like working with kids, so I took up pediatrics, then came fetal because why wouldn't a pediatric surgeon know how to fix a baby while it's still in the womb. Then gynecology because I might as well know how to deliver a baby. And finally plastics. Youd be surprised how many kids go through plastic surgery, especially disabled kids." The guy looks at you surprised, the fact that hes literally in a sandwich completely forgotten, "What made you decide to do all that? How'd you manage that?" You chuckle, "Grey Sloan has an amazing program and I jumped at the opportunity. It's sort of what happens when you get told you'd never be able to do something amazing. You prove people wrong and you go above and beyond." "Who told you that?" You let out a chuckle, "An ex actually. My dad wasn't too happy about that one." "What'd he do?" "My mom had to pick him up from jail for smashing every single window on the guys car."

Jack jumps in, "Her moms the one to be scared of though." You let out a laugh as the guy says, "Its always the mom. My wife would murder for our kids." You let out a laugh making the guy smile.

You ride in the ambulance, being one of the only people who'd be able to stabilize the man if he were to start seizing again, and your ride home completely totaled now. When the guy is taken away for surgery Jack bugs Miranda until she agrees to look you over, "Jack I wasnt even in the accident." "You were near it, the fumes and stress cant be good for the baby." Bailey smiles as the two of you go back and forth, "Y/N just lay on the table. You're both stubborn and we'll be here all day if no one stops you two." You give in and lay on the table as she does an ultrasound, the rest of the firehouse watch from the window in amazement as they see the baby on the small screen and they all couldn't be happier that Jack finally got his own family while they also get a niece or nephew, neither of you telling them what you're having just yet.

When the fire station has to leave Miranda is the one who offers to take you home if you're willing to wait for thirty minutes. You make dinner, Jack getting home right on time then you both continue your nights like you usually do. When it's starting to get late you find Jack looking at his laptop, eyebrows furrowed. "What's got you thinking so hard over here?" You come up behind him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and resting your chin on his right shoulder. "Cars? Really?" "We're going to have to replace the one that got totaled today." "Not one with... Military grade metal? Why dont you just look for tanks on sale?" "You think they have room for carseats?" You hit his arm at his joke making him laugh.

You end up going past your due date, so now it's just a waiting game for you both. As Jack is getting ready to go into work, knowing he can't sit still at all, especiallywhen hes so anxious to meet his kid, he finds you in the kitchen hunched over with your eyes closed and face twisted in pain. He immediately starts to rush over but almost slips, he sees the puddle of water on the ground and looks around confused. When he sees the wet spot on your pants it hits him. "When did your water break? We need to get you to the hospital now." You let out a groan when he tries to help you stand up straight, "When you started coming down the stairs."

Jack helps you to the car, before starting to speed his way to the hospital. He calls Sullivan on the way there, "I wont be there today. Y/Ns water broke.... shit. I forgot the hospital bag." You smile in your seat and between breaths say, "It's fine. There's. One in. My locker. Bailey has one. In her. Office. Too."

Jo and Meredith are the ones to see you enter the hospital, both immediately knowing what's happening, "Jo page Carina and get the hospital bag from her locker. I'll take her to the delivery floor."

You're in labor for most of the day, your friends stop by through the day to check on you and give their congratulations. Jack is by your side the whole time, he's a nervous wreck honestly but hes managed to stay calm until you have to start pushing. By dinner time you've welcomed a baby boy, who has very healthy lungs. Your room is filled with balloons from your friends, as you both sit watching the sleeping boy.

Before the night can end you look at the doorway where the firehouse is standing with even more balloons, along with flowers and what smells like stew. "Hey." Dean is the first to push into the room, he quickly hands you the tupperware of stew before turning to his best friend, "Where is my nephew?"

Everyone gives their congratulations as your son is passed around, "What's his name?" Jack immediately says, "Jack jr." You simply roll your eyes and shake your head before looking at the boy who's now in your arms, "Its Jaxon. With an x. Cant let Jack's ego get too big now."

When everyone is gone and it's just your small family in the room you happily lay next to Jack, now able to press your face into his neck without a giant belly in the way. As you're falling asleep you hear Jack say, "Did we really have a baby today?" You smile and kiss his neck, "We became parents today. You became a dad." You chuckle when you hear Jack huff, "That's going to take some time to get used to." "You'll be fine. We have eighteen years to get it right."

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[aidenoes]

Im kinda bored so this is a little story time about a toxic best friend i had for many many years

Tw : s*lf-h*rm, s*icid*l thought, forced coming-out

To make the story easier let's call her Fish.

So... it started in primary school, i had moved out into a new city when i was in 3rd grade. That's when i first met her and we never really talked much. Then came 5th grade when we actually became friends.

And middle school happened and that's when everything went downhill real fast. In 6th grade i was still friend with her and i tried to get along with her other friend who was a bitch at that time, and i was too, so we never got along (even tho she is now my best friend bc we realised how much Fish was toxic lmao). So i had made new friends and she had too but we still made up over time and the other girl wasn't hanging out with us anymore.

Moving on to 7th, there was a new girl that came at the school at the beginning of the school year (who is also my bestfriend, props to her for staying with me all these years) and Fish immediately started talking to her. Eventually we have a group of 5 friends :me, her, our boyfriends and the new girl. The thing is that there was a trend of s*lf-h*rming yourself just to pretend to be depressed and sad, and Fish was one of the people who followed that trend. Me, being an absolute idiot, had no idea of the gravity. Well, i mean, i knew it was bad but my bestfriend was doing it so it's fine right ? No, it was not and i almost gave in to but i was afraid to harm myself so i never did. And that example is just to show how much i copied her, i destroyed my relationship bc i wanted to be like her and my ex-boyfriend was so good to me. Her relationship was like an light switch, you never knew when they were back together or not. We also had a skype group and messenger group of just three people: me, her and the new girl. Me and the new girl would badly roleplay and she would tell me, and only me, that i was cringy and leave the group chat like that. And i had no right to tell her i didn't like something about her, but she could though ? I let it slip anyway. I thought i was really happy, then came the worst year of my school life.

8th grade. At this point, Fish and her boyfriend had broken since he apparently abused her (im not sure since she is prone to lying) but i was still in good terms with him. Well we were not the best of friends but i wouldn't punch him (now i would bc he became such a fucking dick). But Fish started to become distant, as if she didn't want me around anymore but i ignored it thinking it was all in my head. One day, our teacher assigned us new places in class and i was next to her ex-boyfriend. We of course talked in class and laughed together. But out of nowhere, she started doing the sign where you slit your throat with your finger, y'know ? I thought she was doing it for kidding and i was just really confused, it was break after that class anyway so i can ask her wtf that was. She came to me and thought i was plotting against her with her ex-boyfriend and just told me to go fuck myself basically. I waited for my now ex-boyfriend and my friend to come-out of their class and explained to them what happened while containing my tears. They tried to go to her and try to understand wtf went wrong and funfact: nothing went wrong and she was just being a bitch and i later learned she just wanted to move on and discard everything from the past year, including me. But i didn't know that, i thought i broke everything, i thought i broke our group friend, i felt guilty and i felt, alone. My boyfriend that got out of school just before me went to my mom that was there to come pick me up, that i wasnt really well and he went away when i got out. My mom did ask me what was wrong and i told her that i'll explain when we're home. At home i explained everything and broke down in my moms arm, i dont know if i cried out of anger or sadness, but seeing me cry was enough for my mom to hate her with all her guts. I've felt so lonely after that. I had no one to eat lunch with, i had no one to be in group in class with and i had no idea of how to occupy my brain when i had no one to talk to, i read in the morning waiting for the friends i had left, i would draw whenever i had to wait alone and i would eat fast to get out the fastest possible. I also lost everything i was since at that time i was like a sponge of personality and just squeeze out whatever the personality people wanted out of me. I had lost everything and i didn't want to be here anymore, i just wanted to die honestly. And i think i wouldve if i didnt think there was my family and my friends. However, it does not end here ! Bc my dumb ass made so many more mistakes ! Bc one day in our technology class i had to work with her for an assignment and we gradually made up until we became friend again, but i was still wary of her and my s*icidal thoughts were still very present. So i was still very toxic and pushing the people that were there for me away. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didnt know what to do, but looking back this was such a good decision for him and for me. I am so thankful for him to have broke up with me, but at that moment i was a bit hurt but at the same time i saw it coming so i had so time to grief about it. A month later my mom decided to bring me to Mauritius (where she is from) bc she thought i had a hard time no having her around for the first time which is kinda true but not all the truth. I had no wifi and no way of contacting anyone. That was so refreshing ! That's when i started to understand that i had the right to think for myself first and not be a fucking carpet for everyone to walk on. I was not out of the shit but i started to understand how to get out.

9th grade, was my savior. This was the best year of my life with nothing to worry about except an exam at the end. You remember the girl in 6th grade that was a bitch ? Yeah we became close friends during that year bc i realised she was a bitch bc she was badly influenced on in 6th and 5th grade. And the new girl remember her ? That's also the year when we got close, the year where we became best friends, when i learned to be and love myself and the year when i started to stand up for myself. I have some bad daddy issues and i have almost always shared my problems with Fish but i started sharing less toward the end of 8th grade. One day i was complaining that i had to be basically the messenger bird of my parents and she looked at me annoyed and tell me 'why don't you go to the police ?'. Like we didnt ??? Like she thinks that my dad was harassing my mom and we didnt ?? That's basically saying 'don't be' to someone who is sad. And i explained that to her and she was like 'don't complain to me if you're going to flip off like that when im giving you a solution', excuse me bitch... what ? I was hella mad. She came fake apologising like a few weeks later. And one day she came out to me as pansexual, great for her, and i was also questionning my gender and thought i was genderfluid so i came out to her. She was like 'oh ok' and i sent her some memes about genderfluidity and she was like 'stop this is annoying'. So i shut my trap. I also learned that during a school i didnt went she faked some anxiety and was being a bitch bc her friend wouldnt come to a shop with her even so another one was ok with going with her. I eventually started to understand that she was bad for my mental health, so i just started ghosting her bc i just didnt want to talk with her anymore and i didnt know how to confront her. She came up and grabbed and pulled me by my backpack that was full of shit just to ask me why i didnt answer to one of her text. I was so scared i just told her i wasnt feeling well and just told her i needed time. The year went by it was great and i didnt want to be in cold with Fish but i also didnt want to be her friend, i wanted to just be classmates, however when she was told this she understood : 'they want to be friend again'. So she clung with us next year.

10th grade, was last year and was full of drama. And we only had 6 months of school. 10th grade is the first year of highschool and the only year where we don't have an exam. I also had a forced new friend that we're going to call Taz so we don't get mixed up. She was also very clingy and it felt like having a leech stuck to me. And Fish was being very, let's say embarrassing and making us feel uncomfortable. She would make ton of sexual joke and we told her it was making us uncomfortable but she would apologise just to do it again the week later so we just gave up. She also outed me in class, thankfully the class was really noisy and only my bestfriend heard it but this fucking bitch just asked outta nowhere 'so you're still on this whole thing about being genderfluid or what ?' And she wasnt talking low, she was talking loud and clear. I felt so embarras and i hoped that no one else heard it. I answered as very quietly 'no.. i think im genderqueer now' and she just said ok. That's also around when i discovered im bi so i was so glad that i didnt tell her about that. And a few months later there was some shit going around about bullying and Fish was one of the targets. And let's say that our english teacher held up a trial so i opened up my big ass mouth to talk and defend Fish. And guess what, Taz just blurted out that i and my best friend were bullying her. Excuse me ? I defended her ass and when i talked to her about it she told me 'no you didnt, you just yelled at me once in physics'. So bc i yelled at her bc she wouldnt listen to me when we had to work i bullied her ? What a thank ! And when i tried to talk it out with Taz, she fucking ignored me and left. I was enraged. I was crying out of fucking rage and still aced a test in english. At the end i explained everything to my crush while i was walking home with her bc she lived next to my moms restaurant. When i stepped into the restaurant, there was my moms friend, which im kinda close to, and my mom who asked me how was my day i cried out of anger. They comforted me and supported me. At school, one day the assistant director called me and my best friend in his office. And told us that in highschool there are no bullying only misunderstandings (i dont really agree with that but anyway) and asked us our side of the story. We explained that we didnt get along with her anymore and made it very clear that we were uncomfortable with her but she wouldnt take a hint. And we left the office just like that. The assistant director probably told Fish our side and she never went to talk with us bc of covid.

Now, im in 11th grade, we do not talk anymore and this feel so much better. Now i'll just drop some bonus drama

She accused me of drowning her when it was her ex-boyfriend that did and made her scared of water, while i was there to support her when she was dealing with her phobia.

And her mom thought that i was a bad influence for her sweet sweet daughter when she was the one to incite me to c*t myself like paper, wow ok.

This is just a personal share and just maybe a way for others to recognise the toxic behaviors of fake friends.

[rainecloud020604]

below the cut is a bit of a long venty self reflection.. tw: sensitive topics, the specifics are in the tags

so with quartinteen going on i’ve had a lot of time to look at myself and my actions, i have a bad habit of over analyzing things and ripping them apart. including myself.

i’ve noticed that i keep a lot of things to myself to the point where its unhealthy, i dont tell people when im upset, i dont tell people that im hurt, i dont even tell my parents when i feel sick anymore unless i feel like im dying and need medicine and maybe a trip to the doctor. Im still scared to do that...

i get made fun of and mocked, told im overreacting when im sick or hurt by my parents. its really affected me, being told to walk it off cause im being a baby or im being a drama queen for attention i dont really want. its at the point where i have fallen into a habit of lying about my health, some days i feel like utter shit and i know it will show, i will tell some people, not my parents, my friends i talk to that day. it’s gotten to the point where i was ready to kill myself because my parents wouldnt listen and take me to a doctor after i could eat or drink anything for two weeks without immediately rushing to the bathroom, that was new years eve... i almost did, it took a lot to not do that, and i scared myself, i was scared to call a hotline, i was scared to move, go downstairs, speak, after i spent 30 minutes breaking down and begging my parents to take me to a doctor i was done with life and done with trying. This really affected me and shook me up for months, it was the first time in years i had ever thought about doing that, i felt horrible and miserable cause i scared a lot of people that night. 

my mental health is even worse than my physical health all the time, i normally wont talk about it when its bad unless someone asks, i’ve been brushed off so many times by my family i no longer have that confidence i used to. my dad for the longest of time told me my depression didnt exist until my doctor did, he told me i was lying for attention, he told me i didnt have anxiety, i didnt have anything wrong and i needed to shut up and pay attention, push through it and shut up. mental health issues were tabo around my parents for ages, when we got kicked out of our house and moved in with some friends my mental issues really showed through, this was around the time i joined tumblr, my parents would fight constantly and i fled here for safety, it was clear i had something wrong, all of my sibling do as well, my brother has anger issues and doesnt know how to cope with that, he tends to hit things and hit me when angry cause i pissed him off or was in his way, he’s 11 and three times my size. im 16. my sister has anxiety and depression as well, she always drags herself down and fakes a smile to everything, she cant handle being yelled at anymore. we all have faced abuse from my parents, and then moving into a super toxic and worse place for a year made everything worse, my parents stressed and fighting to the point where we would hide and cry cause it was so much. partially through that year i snapped at my best friends dad for being homophobic, racist and sexist, i said a few things and got suspended from my school while there was a sexual predator on the campus after my friends, he was never arrested and he tried to contact me recently because he was bored. i was broken for awhile but going to the magnet school i met some people who helped me. i made a new friend. that place that was toxic we left after they tried framing us for a bed bug issue and tried making us clean the entire house, and the guy who was my dads formal best friend called my mom a few nasty things and called us all lazy and ungrateful. i had a bike stolen during the move and they refused to give it back. we stayed in a hotel for a bit, i became everyones therapist for a few days, my brothers, sisters, moms and even my dads, i couldnt vent to anyone. we moved in with my grandma, my step grandpa turned out to be an abusive asshole and attacked my aunt and almost attacked my mom and grandma one night when we were going to bed, i had both my brother and sister in my room hiding and crying, i was comforting them and telling them the yelling would be over soon. 

my grandma had her ac detroyed, license plate stolen, other stuff stolen from her as well, i was scared to walk to school for a month and had to look at the door at all times. one day he randomly busted through the door and i broke down scared as hell because i was in line of sight and the first person he saw, and was in the same room as him. it took me awhile to recover from that. later on i started failing my classes, i couldnt keep up because my old school wasnt where they were, i was ahead but behind because my motivation slacked and i didnt want to be there, i started getting really sick, i went to try to see my guidance counselor one day because i was ready to break down at everything and i needed to talk to someone and possibly go home, i saw a different one, they recommended a mental health counselor and i start counseling sessions, when i checked out the nurse shamed me for not going to her and checking out. i walked home that day and cried. i started counseling sessions after that, i was still scared to speak about all of these issues, some weeks i didnt see her, others i did, the first day my ela teacher flipper her shit cause i was late that day to her class after i was at a counseling session for part of her class cause i needed to say things and speak. i lost the confidence to talk to me ela teacher after that. she would have issues with the fact that i couldnt speak loudly at times, part of the year she hated the fact that i drew in her class to focus, it took me twice explaining it before she would let me. later on that year she accused me of doing other classwork and make me hold up what i was drawing rather than walking over, i cried the rest of her class and had a panic attack in biology venting to a friend. my parents told me i was being dramatic after breaking down and explaining how my day went. i started to stop speaking up about my issues entirely to them. 

i’ve had issues when i am sick at school, i’ve gotten grounded for going home sick, after i was told i could call home, it was because the nurse said i looked tired, she also had told my dad that he knew me better than she did so she was unsure, he told me in the car i put the family to shame and made him look bad, took away my devices, left for work while i took a nap, i woke up still sick and felt even worse mentally, i forced myself to walk and finish up the rest of the school day. it took my mom yelling at my dad to get my devices back, he guilt tripped me after giving them back and i felt horrible for the weekend. 

my dad started saying i was faking being sick to skip school, keep in mind i have never skipped a day in my life and have always enjoyed going to school, he was just pissed off. my mental health was affecting my physical health, i wasnt able to see my mental health counselor for a month, when i needed to most. 

i started developing and eating disorder again, i started to only eat one meal a day, starve myself for existing, i’ve been fighting it for awhile, it decided to get worse, i am still fighting it. i am at a point where i can handle two meals a day again which is progress. 

when quartinteen started, that ment i was stuck at home, unable to focus on my classes anymore, and my counseling sessions were done in zoom, i wasnt ever in a safe place to openly speak. i tried pushing for therapy, my parents considered and agreed, they tried to figure something out and never got back to it. everything has gotten worse, not only in my head but the world around me...

keep in mind all this, happened in two years. most of the belittling and breaking me down however has gone on for most of my life.

i dont want sympathy, i want to get this off my damn chest, i dont want attention, i was this at hand so when i need to point at something that happened to me i have to reference to while im breaking down. im sorry about all this mess and wasting time typing this out and that right now isnt the time to hear me whine. 

[dopcmine]

   ⋆     𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑰𝑵𝑮 —  * ⋆ ╰  hey , did you happen to see DAMON NAM on campus today ? you know , the JEON JUNGKOOK look-alike in our seven am class ? yeah , that SENIOR . ah , well they had their SILVER NECKLACE on their desk this morning and left without it . i wanted to return it … but i have to get to class in five minutes . wait , don’t you see them around at THE APARTMENTS ? oh , great ! can you bring it to HIM then ? ugh , thank you so much. you’re the best ! now i know they get the rep of being EGOCENTRIC but you don’t have to worry . they’re always MAGNETIC . and who knows , maybe you two’ll hit it off ! i know that they’re a INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS major too . well , i have to jet before i miss my exam but i’ll catch you at the frat party later , right ? oh , you should bring DAMON ! it’s always fun having the PLAYBOY around .

𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 :

fullname: damon nam

nicknames: none

age: twenty-three

d.o.b: april 15, 1996

zodiac: aries sun, leo moon, scorpio rising

gender: cismale

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: tattoo artist @ body electric tattoo and piercing 

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 :

twt & insta handle: p7ayboy

insta followers: 1.3m

twt followers: 1m

tik tok: 750k

𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 :

cruisin’ around l.a with the windows down, drinking cold beers on a hot summer afternoon, old school music playing loudly from his apartment, late night kbbq dates with the gang, old childhood scars from fights and playing outside until late evening, silver jewelry around his neck and wrists, street racing, rolling blunts on the hood of his car, face smudge with oil and sweat working on his car, stumbling around the city on the lookout for his favorite food trucks, tattoos up to his neck and down his arms all the way to his back, a gold virgin mary necklace hanging from his rear view mirror, belting out to romantic spanish music drunk and slurring the words, always moving forward and never looking back, selfish tendencies, playing with people like a deck of cards, carrying a butterfly knife with him at all times

𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 :

born and raised in east los angeles, damon had to grow up a little faster than his peers. he comes from a working class family, his parents both public school teachers trying to get by like every other family. being one of the very little korean-american families in maravilla, damon used to get picked on and bullied to the point he refused to get out of bed in his early elementary days. but like any kid, he made friends with some of the neighborhood kids that went to the same school he did, and they stuck by his side. it gave damon the confidence to stand up for himself now that he had his little group to the point he repeated the bad words they taught him in spanish to the same little boys that would pick on him, not knowing what it meant but knowing it was something about their moms that caused one his many first fights to break out in the school yard. after that, damon and his little band of misfits became a little notorious for getting into scuffles with other students. 

he stayed in maravilla up until high school, venturing north to a new house due to his dad being offered the position of principal at a junior high. damon went on to attend lincoln high school but it wasn’t hard to fit in, nor was it difficult to fall into step with a new group of friends ( some of which he knew from his earlier days when he used to sneak out of his house with his friend and venture off ). high school was a ride, even if damon had found a place where he belonged people still loved to talk shit and damon loved nothing more than confrontation. he got into fights behind grocery stores, there was fights in empty parking lots where groups of people showed up before everyone scattered the moment they heard cop sirens down the street. damon did get caught once for a misdemeanor the summer before sophomore year and his parents had to get him out which was a hell of a ride home, both his parents almost losing their voices taking turns yelling at him. 

it was that moment that his parents made him attend mandatory after school classes, starting smack in the middle of summer. it’s safe to say he was very angry about it but found no outlet to get it out on when he was confined to the library. he started doodling instead of doing his homework while he was in there, soon off he started drawing more and he had talent. he could draw any picture you put in front of him just by looking at it, and soon he started to create his own. that very same summer, on one of the rare days his parents let him out to go to one his friend’s birthday party, he met their older brother, covered in tattoos from his legs to his arms. old english font and a portrait of a woman he later learned was his wife. he was entranced by the ink that decorated the man, asking him questions as the man grilled the carne asada, coughing every once in a while the smoke blew in his direction. 

too keep it short, damon wanted to do that. he wanted to draw permanent drawings on people and he wanted his own. he drew more, filling more sketchbooks with his own ideas and interpretations of others. he started working odd jobs after school, trying to save up for his own tattoo gun and ink, even venturing off to tattoo shops to observe them before he got told to scram. at the age of sixteen he had his own set and it wasnt long before his friends lined up to get their first tattoos done by damon. just little small things that didn’t require damon to worry too much about safety and health. the first tattoo he made on himself was a lucky eight ball and a match, now faded on the sides of his fingers. 

at seventeen his got his fake id not only for booze but to get a job at a parlor -- not tattooing -- but cleaning up after them, keeping the store tidy and clean. he had a car at the time, an old beat up chevy, and it took him thirty minutes to get to body electric. the owner new damon was underage but he let him work anyway. point is, he was taken under his wing and became an intern, an apprentice, and by the time damon hit eighteen and got his tattoo license, he was able to work a couple hours at first. from 18 to now, damon has been in the same place with a booming following on social media -- which is thanks to his good looks and talent. 

he’s been wanting to drop out of ucla because of how in-demand he is now. he’s tattooed celebrities, from socialites to rappers to all sorts of people. he hooks up his old friends from where he grew up for free, and his close friends at school too. but overall, damon makes hella bank now. which is why he finds school pointless, however, the owner of the parlor he works out told him that if he didn’t finish his bachelors he’ll fire him. the owner definitely grew to treat damon as a son, and wants him to venture out and travel with his talent, but he wants him to be smart about it and learn the ropes of the business industry. it’s why damon stays despite not being too happy about it, but it’s his last year and he’s going to make it one shot of patron at a time. 

𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔: 

damon is trilingual -- english, korean, and spanish ( considering he grew up in a heavily latinx/chincax neighborhood as a child, the language latched on to him ). 

he’s very appreciative of the chicanx culture because he grew up around it, and they took him in despite not being chicanx himself he was still treated as family by his close friends. ( and also because i’m biased to my own culture and east los is heavily mexican/latinx )

he almost joined a gang but it was around the time he was forced into after school study where he found his outlet through art. 

he knows how to dance pero like cumbias and shit, he’s hella good at it.

damon makes it his goal to be good at everything, it doesn’t even matter what it is. 

he has a bmw he fixed up and uses it for street racing -- races which he wins most of the times ( just ask dae lmao ). 

he can drive under the influence of weed but i do not condone this behavior !! but he can do it, but he’s beent doing it, don’t try this at home guys, or alone. 

damon was a little heartthrob in high school though, going out with the girls and hooking up with some guys. 

he was honestly one of the popular kids growing up, he was in THAT group that people longed to be a part of because they were always out mobbing, drinking, throwing parties and being out. they had fun, but they were also notorious trouble-makers. 

his tik tok thing started as a joke because damon looked like the eboys that began to trend and now he has dae help him film them just for the hell of it, because why not. he’s got nothing to lose, it’s a good laugh in the end. 

is a gym rat, he’s out there doing weights and bulking up and boxing because sometimes he just wants to procrastinate his homework and that’s valid, plus he’s gotta stay in shape with all that heavy drinking and weed intake. 

patron is his best friend -- after dae of course lmao.

damon’s actually never been in love??? like he’s had maybe three s/o’s but it was never that serious? except maybe for his first one? but he’s never experienced something where he feels genuine care for a person and love, it’s mostly just lust and like the need to experience what it’s like being with someone but it never rlly takes off

𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔:

gang shit: this one’s already taken up by whoever’s in the no homo chat but like, let me plot out dynamics with you all cause ion know how damon is gonna treat y’all characters if we don’t talk about it lmao

enemies: damon could always use some tbh, those are fun because damon grew up around people that have given him a hard time and he isn’t one to back down from a good altercation 

an ex: listen, damon isn’t that great of a person he probably cheated on them only because he didn’t know they were exclusive and frankly, he doesn’t really even remember agreeing to be something but they were and even if damon knew, he still went ahead and did it.

highschool sweetheart, THE ex: listen this one is...particular and super specific. must be a girl/nb but latinx because i picture this being the person who really really taught damon more than he already knew, from dancing to romantic spanish music, etc. perhaps they weren’t in love but they did care about each other, damon even still has a gift i picture she gave him ( a gold virgin mary necklace ) hanging from his rear view mirror. this is like...when we can take up more chars ig? idk just thought i’d write it down

flings: hookups ig? except not people involved with dae cause he isn’t about to fuck no sloppy seconds lmao, if not he venturing out to usc away from ucla lmaooo

idk what else to add im so tired and this is so late and i just want to post it, so if y’all got anything else just hmu tbh

[theycallmemoosey]

30 Years

Dan x plus size!Reader

A/N: Another fic in two days of my last one? Holy shit that must be a new record. I combined two requests into one (one was a plus size reader and the other was the plot) because I could not think of a plot for the plus size request and I thought that the second request was so goddamn funny that I just had to combine the two. I also just have to mention that I am plus size so this was a story very close to home (I have tried to share a twin sized bed with someone and honest to god was the most uncomfortable thing - especially because I’m so big). Thank you to the two anonymous peeps who sent in the requests. Enjoy!! Moose :)

--------------------------------------

“Do I look ok?” You asked, pulling at your dress as you stared into the mirror of your wardrobe, conscious of the way it stuck to your curves.

“Perfect” Dan said as he walked up to your worried form, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder. He looked up to the mirror and locked eyes with you, smiling, “You always look perfect, Y/N”

You frowned, “This is as far as I go. The dress is crossing the line alone, so there is no way I’m wearing heels. I’m sorry, I’m not. I’m wearing converse” 

“Finished?” Dan laughed, letting you go to allow you to get your shoes that were carelessly thrown in a corner of the room, “It will be fine, love. Just a few hours of talking to your family and then we’ll head back to the hotel and crash”

“About that…” 

“What? What have you done?” Dan asked, grabbing a jacket draped over the ass chair. 

“Well…my mum asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her the next day and…I may or may not have agreed to stay at my parent’s house” 

“Y/N!” He whined, beginning to button his jacket up.

“I’m sorry!” 

“I just wanted to spend the night with you watching shit TV, eating a shit ton of sweets, chocolate and popcorn and-“ 

“I know, I know…I’m sorry. I wanted that too! I just…couldn’t tell her no. We can still watch Netflix at my parents’ house together?” 

Dan frowned and sighed, “It’s a good thing I love you” 

You smiled and kissed him, heading out to grab your bag from the hallway, “If we want to get to the dinner on time, we need to leave in the next 15 minutes. We can pick up lunch on the way” 

“Ok. I’ll just go and say bye to Phil and then we’ll get going” 

—————————

“I don’t think I can go in” you voice was laced with panic as you sat in the car with Dan, looking straight ahead at the door to the hall where your parents were celebrating their 30th anniversary.

“Why?” 

“I don’t feel comfortable. I haven’t seen half the people in there since I was 8. And I have put on quite a bit of weight since then. OK, a lot of weight…” 

“And? Why does that matter?” 

You looked at Dan, your eyes showing fear and he sighed, “You look absolutely beautiful. So what if you’re not stick thin? I don’t care. And neither should anyone in there”

“One comment about my weight from anyone, and I mean even my Aunt, we’re leaving” 

“Understood” Dan chuckled, getting out the car quickly to help you out.

As the two of you walked towards the door, your Aunt had spotted you through the window and rushed to greet you first.

“Y/N!” She screamed, crushing you in the tightest hug you’ve ever had, “It has been so long! My have you grown! Put on a few extra pounds too!” 

You looked over to Dan with a knowing and unamused look, scowling as he laughed breathily.

“Thanks” you cleared your throat, trying not to snap at her comment, “How have you been?” 

“Fantastic, thank you. I’ve joined the local rock choir” 

“That’s-that’s great” you smiled , knowing how badly her voice sounds. 

“Now, who’s this you’ve bought along with you today? I’ve not seen you before” she smirked at Dan, making both of you uncomfortable.

“Dan, pleasure to meet you” he offered his hand but she embraced him in a tight hug, his expression matching yours.

“Please, come in, join the party!” She motioned towards the house, dragging Dan by his hand as you stifled a laugh behind him. When the three of you had entered again, your uncle called your aunt over to talk to other members of the family. She groaned and turned back to Dan, squeezing his hand. 

“I hope to be seeing more of you, Daniel” she winked before leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m so sorry” you laughed, holding onto his arm as he laughed along with you. 

“You see her often?” 

“Nope” 

“Thank fuck” 

You chuckled, watching your aunt make questionable faces towards the two of you, “Come on, let’s go find my mum and dad” 

————————— 

“I would like to propose a toast” your dad announced as he stood up from his chair, the rest of the room quieting down, “To my wife. I have loved every minute of these 30 years being your husband. We have had the most beautiful daughter, who has clearly inherited all your good looks. All I can wish for is another perfect 30 years with you. To 30 years more!” 

“30 years more!” The room repeated, the sound of clinking glasses filling the room. You smiled when your dad leant down to kiss your mum, the two of them smiling lovingly at each other.

“Think that will be us in 30 years?” A voice whispered in your ear, careful that your grandmother was sat right next to you who was more than desperate for you to marry and have children. 

You turned your head to look at him, a smug smile on his face, “You’d want that?” 

“More than anything” 

“Is that a proposal?”

Dan opened his mouth in a speechless shock at his realisation which made you laugh, “I’m kidding” 

Dan laughed nervously, leaning back and scratching the back of his neck, “Yeah, yeah I knew that” 

“Mmhm, sure you did” 

“Ladies and gentlemen” the band’s singer announced, “May everyone come to the dance floor for the lovely couple’s 30th first dance!” 

Dan took your hand and led you to the edge of the dance floor, standing behind you with his hand on your waist as the two of you watched your parents lovingly dance together. 

“I love you so much” Dan whispered into your ear, kissing behind it quickly and squeezing your waist, “I love you so much that I want to show you off to the world” 

“Hmm? What?” You asked, only just focusing on what he was saying rather than watch your parents dance to the band’s slow song.

“Come on, hun” he said, moving around in front of you to drag you to the centre of the floor to meet your parents. You resisted and pulled your hand back, your eyes wide with fear. 

“No. No way. I’m not dancing in front of all these people!” You shouted in a hushed tone, not wanting to draw attention to the two of you.

“Is this because you’re insecure?” He asked, wrapping his arms around you and trying to pull you onto the floor.

“Dan, I am not dancing with you when no one else is” 

“Your parents are”

“Everyone will see me!” 

“That’s the point” he smiled widely, starting to sway with you wrapped in your arms. You started to smile with him, giving into his cheeky attitude.

Dan had finally dragged you to the centre, smiling when you wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him gently, “Say, you’re pretty good at dancing, Mr.Howell. I’m very impressed” 

“Despite what you may think, I have some hidden talents” 

You saw the rest of the crowd look at you from the edge of the dance floor and you began to feel trapped. You cleared your throat and looked towards Dan’s feet, creating some distance between the two of you.

“Hey, woah…what are you doing?” 

“Nothing” you said, avoiding eye contact with him.

“Stop. Stop feeling like this. You are the most beautiful woman in the room tonight-no-World. I want everyone to look at how beautiful you are and know how god damn lucky I am to call you mine” 

“You don’t have to pity me like that, Dan” 

“I mean it, Y/N. I don’t deserve to have you, yet here I am with this goddess of a human. Yes, you have a few curves but oh my god does that make me love you more. I have fallen in love with your curves more than I’ve fallen in love with you” 

“Oh, charming Daniel” you chuckled, trying to hide your blush.

“I’m kidding. But I hope you know what I mean” 

“I do” you smiled, “I love you too”

Dan pulled you in tighter and kissed you, not letting you pull back or move away from him which made the two of you laugh.

“I want to go home” you mumbled in Dan’s ear when he finally let you go.

“As soon as your parents want to go home, we’ll escape” 

“I can’t wait to just relax and watch Netflix and eat crap food and-“ 

“All in good time, just keep dancing”

—————————

“Y/N?” Your mum placed her hands on your shoulders, waking you up from the short nap you were having on your on Dan’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry we kept you so long. We’re going to take off now so we can finally let you in to the house. You remember the way home from here?” 

“We have sat nav. We’ll find it” you smiled, still sleepy, Dan placing his hand on yours. 

“You two go now, we’re just going to thank the staff and band and we’ll be right behind you” 

“We’ll see you in 30” Dan said, helping you up from your chair in your sleepy slumber, “You ok to drive, hun?”

“Find me some sweets and I’ll be good to go” 

“I saved some from earlier, they’re in the car” 

“This is why I love you”

Dan laughed as he led you towards the car, his fingers laced in yours. The drive was in a comfortable silence, Dan’s hands placed on your thigh, his thumb stroking it gently.

“Got a movie in mind for tonight?” He asked, breaking the silence.

You glanced over towards Dan momentarily, smiling at his childish grin, “What makes you think I want to watch a movie? What if I want to watch Friends?” 

“No” 

“Oh, come on! I love friends!” 

“Yeah, I know. You’ve watched all the series 5 times with me alone, which says it all! I refuse to watch it again” 

“Fine. We’ll just watch whatever is trending I guess” 

“Don’t be mad”

“I’m not. Just…so tired” you yawned, drumming the steering wheel to keep yourself awake. 

“Just a few more minutes” he grabbed your hand and kissed it gently. 

The rest of the drive home was simple but you felt yourself falling asleep at the wheel and you couldn’t wait to just go to bed. Dan tried his best to keep you awake, and to some extent he was successful, as you both ended up at your parents house alive. It wasn’t long after that your parents arrived at home, apologising for their late arrival. 

“I’m sure you two are exhausted so just head up to your old room, Y/N” your mother pointed up to the stairs, focusing on hanging all the coats on the rack.

“Don’t misbehave now” your dad joked, still slightly tipsy from the large amount of alcohol he had at the party, making you and Dan cringe and laugh in an awkward manner. 

“If you need anything, just help yourself. You know where everything is, Y/N” 

“Goodnight guys. Get dad in bed safely” your whispered to your mum as you kissed her goodnight.

“Sleep well you two” your mother said as you and Dan carried your bags to your old room.

You sighed as you climbed the stairs, listening to your dad slur out drunk comments to your mum which made her laugh.

“I swear if we’re even half as happy as your parents when we’re old and grey, then we’ve won at life” Dan whispered behind you as you finally reached your old bedroom door. 

“I was kinda hoping we’ll be double as happy” you smiled, walking in to the teenage bedroom. The sight made the two of you stop in your tracks and stare open mouthed at your room.

“Oh my-“ you began, stopping when you heard Dan burst into a fit of laughter behind you, “This is far from funny, Daniel” 

“It looks like a 12 year olds room!” 

“Well they clearly haven’t changed it since I moved out” you sighed, throwing your bag onto the floor in frustration.

“And when did you move out?” 

“When I was 18” 

“HOLY SHIT!” Dan laughed, backing away from you as you tried to slap his arm.

“I think we have a slightly bigger issue than the atrocity that is this room” 

“What?” Dan continued to giggle, wiping away the tears from his eyes. You pointed towards the twin sized bed.

“That. It is, in no way shape or form, going to fit both of us” 

“Oh…” Dan finally stopped laughing, “Oh well. Guess you’ll just have to sleep on top of me then” 

You deadpanned towards him, “Ok what you said before wasn’t that funny but THAT certainly wasn’t”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny” 

“Dan, we both won’t fit. I am too big to sleep either next to you in that bed or on top of you. I will literally crush you. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow to find my boyfriend is dead from suffocation because his fat ass girlfriend cut off his air supply from squashing him to death!” 

Dan stared at you sadly for a minute, making you feel awkward as ever. 

“Do you really feel that bad about yourself?” He asked after a minute, “You really think of yourself as that fat that you can’t sleep in the same bed as me? You think you’ll suffocate me?” 

“I always think that” You said solemnly, looking at the floor. 

“Even at home?” 

“Even at home”

Dan sighed sadly and stepped forward, carefully taking you into his arms. With his arms wrapped around you, you rested your head on his chest and started to cry quietly. 

“How many times do I have to tell you? You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I would not change any part of you if I could. Every single inch of you is perfect. Never, ever change” 

You looked up at him, tears rolling down your cheeks, “You really really think that?” 

“Yes, love” he kissed your forehead, “I always have done. From the moment I met you until the moment I die, I will always think that you’re the most beautiful thing on this earth”

“I don’t deserve you. You’re so kind and pretty and-“ 

“I’m not pretty. I am nothing compared to you” 

“You are pretty. With your perfect curls and your perfect eyes and your perfect body” 

“I’ll gain all the weight if that would make you feel better” 

“Oh god, please don’t. Like, yes, eat pizza with me but keep this” you laughed, motioning towards his body, “I love this” 

“And I love this” he motioned towards yours, kissing your hand and making his way up your arm to your lips, “Come on, get changed and let’s watch Friends” 

“Really?” You asked excitedly.

“Yes, really” he smiled down at you, grabbing your bag and flinging it on the tiny bed, “Now hurry up and get that beautiful body changed”

“This isn’t going to work” you laughed quietly, once you were changed, as you tried to squeeze into your old bed, aware your mum was trying to get your dad to sleep, “Dan this is literally impossible. I am not going to fit in next to your 7ft fat ass!” 

“I’m 6’3, Y/N” 

“Still a giant” 

You sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling Dan wrap his arm around your torso as you shuffled in next to him. Luckily, both your asses fit next to each other but you had to wrap your legs around each other. 

“This is cozy” Dan mumbled into your hair, kissing your head gently. 

“Shut up and get your laptop out” you said, trying to get into a comfortable position.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence in a not so comfortable position, watching the six people you had admired since your teenage years with the love of your life. As the night went on, you managed to find a comfortable position with your head on Dan’s chest and your body curled into his. His arm was tightly wrapped around your body, and he kissed your forehead when he noticed that you had fallen asleep. Carefully and slowly, he placed the laptop on the desk next to your bed and shuffled down, trying to not wake you up as he tried to also fall asleep in a comfortable position. Despite the fact that neither of you really fit in the same bed and you both felt beyond uncomfortable, the two of you fell asleep peacefully wrapped in each others arms. When Dan woke up the next morning, he smiled at your beautiful face laying on his chest, your breathing slow and steady. He could only wish that he would wake up like this everyday next to you for the next 30 years.

[asianpower5]

Ok so its been 24 hours since I saw the movie and I wanted to write down my thoughts, most of it is for me so I can go back and read how I felt about it years from now, its going to be very long and wordy but im just writing as the thoughts come and now worrying about grammar or anything, that includes timeline, so my thoughts may come to me out of order . I’m going to put it all under read more so i dont spoil it for any of you lovely people

So I got to the theater like 40 minutes early because I just couldnt contain myself and I wanted to get my perfect seat. Wore my new HTTYD shirt and brought my toothless plushie from build a bear (another little girl had the same idea she was so cute)

but now onto the movie

they threw me for a loop I was totally expecting a “this is berk’” speech as the very opening, not the raid, but honestly this movie is about change so I liked the change. But I still got my fix, because as they flew back to Berk my only thought was “this is berk”, AND THEN HE SAID THE THING YES.

Loved the scene in the great forge, it just really showed how big Berk is and how many vikings there are, and seeing them all happy and enjoying a meal together just warmed my heart, plus Gobber teasing Astrid and Hiccup about marriage and Valka beating Spitelout at arm wrestling haha.

Tuffnut was comedic gold, talking about his “beard” and giving hiccup bro pep talks. And when he said the earth was round? and the stars? I almost died laughing. 

Grimmel  being a complete jerk and drugging those poor dragons with their own venom.

Fetch with Hiccup’s leg?? and him dropping it in Astrid’s lap and then being over protective of the leg when Stormfly came near it? Then Hiccup tickling Astrid, what did we do to deserve such a cute Hiccstrid scene?

Toothless meeting the light fury was even better than I thought, he was such a dork and had no idea what to do, then looking to Hiccup for advice about how to flirt oh gosh silly boy.

Im calling Hiccup out on his saying Astrid isnt a romantic, I mean Hiccup is totally the hopeless romantic, but Astrid in my mind is totally a secret romantic, at least when it comes to her own relationship.

Also Toothless practicing his mating dancing by watching his shadow and studying the naddars as they danced was so adorable.

Ok ngl I actually thought Grimmel had shot Toothless in the house, and I was so happy to see that is was part of their plan and that he had back up (sorry Fishlegs I love you and you took one for the team so good on you!). Why I was surprised by this idk, I know these characters enough to know that they would pull something like that. BUT HICCUP TELLING GRIMMEL OFF AND CALLING HE OUT FOR SITTING IN STOICKS CHAIR, YES BOY. That just made the feeling of Berk being attacked and flames burning everywhere hurt so much more.

The meeting with all of Berk? Just wow, I mean first off I love that Hiccup had his whole gang up there with him, just goes to show that he really trusts them and values them as being part of the team. Astrid sticking up for my boy and Tuff just going “IM WITH HIM WHO ELSE” A plus team work, I loved the support. Not to mention the fact that Hiccup was able to convince them all to pack up what little they could carry and leave. I mean we know from the first movie that vikings are stubborn, but they are also capable of change. The fact that they left their home of 7 generations and probably left some import things they couldnt carry with them was such an amazing gesture. And Berk really is where ever the vikings are, it is not just a single island. It really hurt to see them leave the island, the place where it all started, but the fact that they all stuck together really shows how strong of a bond they have as a people. 

Light fury knocking Hiccup off Toothless, such a sassy girl I love her. I mean come on Toothless was obviously gunna save him. Also the sheeps wanting to be dragons is something I never new I needed, especially after seeing how afraid of dragons they used to be (I mean the dragons did hunt them, but im all here for them cosplaying as their favorite dragons) 

I JUST REMEMBERED I NEVER TALKED ABOUT FLASHBACKS SO LETS DO THAT NOW. First of little toddler Hiccup??? THE FRICKIN CUTEST THING EVER OK. I know there was a line in the trailer that wasnt in the movie the one where Stoick says something like “I believe its your destiny to find the hidden world so dragons and vikings no longer need to fight” but I wasnt sad that they didnt keep this line. I think it makes more sense to have what they did, Stoick talking about finding the hidden world so they could protect Berk from it. I mean this took place when they were still fighting dragons, so yea the line about destiny could mean he thinks Hiccup would destroy the hidden world, but the tone of the scene was so calm and relaxing that to me it gave off the vibe that Stock was implying that Hiccup would unite their worlds, which doenst make sense since again they were still at war with the dragons at this point. So I liked what they had in the movie, I think what they kept fit the tone and it still showed how Berk was at war with the dragons.

NEXT FLASHBACK. Little Hiccup just sneaking down the stairs and then his little face like “oh shit” when he saw his dad was up and trying to sneak back up. The way he said he wanted water, I JUST IT WAS SO CUTE, whoever voiced tiny hiccup good job because omg it was so cute. How happy he was to go over to his dad and sit on his lap.  When he asked Stoick if he would get them a new mom, my heart just broke I mean Hiccup was so young that he didn’t fully grasp the situation, and I mean before Hiccup got caught sneaking downstairs we saw Stoick crying. That was so important to me I mean Stoick the Vast, he is massive, and remember the first movie the fact about him ripping a dragons head off as a baby? Yea this character who basically screams masculinity has yet another vulnerable scene, showing yet again that crying is ok (I mean back in the first movie when he told Hiccup he wasnt his son, and when he met Valka again?? yes please keeping showing people that being masculine doenst mean you cant cry!). Stoick teaching Hiccup about love, yes dad points for you, I adore the scenes like these, that show how much Stock loves his family, he would be so proud of Hiccup and who he has become. OH YEA SIDE NOTE HOW I FORGET HICCUPS STUFFED DRAGON? THROWBACK TO THE TV SERIES THANK YOU.

New Berk, cuz thats the best I got to call it right now, love how everyone basically immediately goes to claiming their areas ahha.

Ok Snotlout my boy did you really just say “who died and made yout Chief” because too soon, I still love you

Low key thought they were gunna make Snotlout and Eret a thing, despite the weird flirting Snotlout had with Valka. I mean he was trying to be taller than Eret, and Eret was like hah no, yall id ship it ngl eret and snotlout 

Toothless meeting up with the light fury again, but this time trusting his instincts is another reminder that toothless is in fact an animal, a very intelligent animal, but an animal who has instincts and a desire to be with his own kind, I mean can you blame him? Its been at least 6 years since hes seen another dragon that was like him, maybe even longer depending on how long he was alone before he met hiccup. 

The throw back to the forbidden friendship scene? With toothless drawing in the sand, and oh God I never thought I would get so emotional about sand but dang that sand animation just was so realistic that I wanted to touch it. Hiccup being like “wow now you can draw”, Toothless growling at the light fury like he did to Hiccup back in the first for stepping on his art, come on guys Toothless worked hard on his art! The light fury flying away but toothless not being able to follow her, another throwback to when he couldnt fly with the dragons during the snoggletog special.

Hiccup making toothless a tail to fly alone, and Im glad they added the part when Astrid said they tried it before, again throwback to snoggletog, and that he didnt want the tail, and Hiccup clarifying that it was because he had no need to fly alone before. Now my only worry here is that the casual fan will just think that the exchange is a copout, I mean unless you remember the special you wouldnt know that they tired making him a tail fin and he didnt want it, so to the casual fan it might seem like they only added the comment to answer the question “If hiccup could make a tail fin why did he never do it before?”. Seeing the special where toothless destroys the tail really adds a layer of depth to the scene, because those of us who saw it remember that it was a statement that even though Hiccup had the ability to create a tail so toothless could fly alone, toothless wanted to fly with his best friend and didnt care for the tail. 

now the actual scene with toothless flying alone finding the light fury, first off it was so cute how he showed her his new tail! He was so proud of it, and no doubt proud of his best friend for making it. The scene itself though reminded me so much of the romantic flight, the way they flew together above the clouds and how it gave a sense of flight because we couldnt see the ground, ugg it was so beautiful. I was honestly blown away by the animation, the clouds and the color, they were all so beautiful. Toothless and the light fury flying together and really bonding, similar to Astrid and Hiccup on their first flight together, ugg all the throwbacks to the first movie really killed me. Also Toothless trying to copy the light fury and how she goes invisible was so cute, he was like “ah yes I got this, wait no shit again, no shit again again!” then he basically summons thors power of lighting and finds his new power, so proud of my baby. 

Now I fully believe that Toothless was going to go back to Hiccup after he spent time with the light fury in the hidden world, no way my boy would leave my other boy without a goodbye. But the other started to freak Hiccup out, I mean Hiccup knew his best friend would come back, but the others made him doubt it and seeing him freak out was heart breaking.

Astrid being like boy hop on we gonna get yo dragon, yes girl. Honestly them going into the hidden world on Stormfly? I mean need i say anything about the animation in this scene? The visuals were just breath taking, I cannot put it into words. Tootheless being the alpha is always a win, also Astrid calling him a king and Hiccup realizing that this beautiful place of dragons, is not place for humans, because Valka said it best, greedy humans ruin everything.

Hiccup and Astrid getting caught by a dragon and then going on a fun slide ride, and of course toothless comes through as the alpha to protect his humans, ALSO STORMFLY DONT THINK I FORGOT ABOUT HER, CUZ YES. I mean just like toothless Stormyfly will protect her human best friend, and I love her. 

How did I forget the next raid scene? I mean dang again the visuals and the lighting were just so spot on. Them all getting trapped? Valka being a badass and working with Cloudjumper to save them? Hiccup jumping and just escaping the clutches of Grimmels dragon? RUFFNUT

Ruffnut my girl dont think I forgot about you, I just I dont even know what to do with you. She was amazing, I mean shes just does not care, not scared that shes a prisoner, she fricking just talks about how ‘hot’ she is and just other random stuff about her life, like girl give me that confidence. But when she talked about the island i was like girl no dont do that, but her flying back and saying she doenst look back in response to being asked about being followed was pretty darn funny.

Bro the scene of the light fury and toothless getting captured? Toothless protecting her and telling the other dragons to stand down, at least until they can escape. Just heart breaking, help is so close, but I guess thats the downside of being the alpha, having that power can be used against you.

Astrid my girl, pep talking my boy Hiccup JUST LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE. And yes parallels again, just like in the first one Astrid said things to hiccup, she was very honest with him pointing out the things that had done wrong, the first pointing out how messy the situation got because of the lies, and in this movie pointing out how he constantly doubts himself, and in both Hiccup has a sassy comment regarding her pep talks, but Astrid always follows up with the good, like how he was the first viking to ride a dragon or how he was always brave, even without toothless, showing how she would always be by his side to support him and help him, especially when hes about to do something stupid. I just ugg they are couple goals, they dont even need to say I love you because they SHOW IT in their actions, in their support for eachother, their cute banters, and I am here for it. ALSO I MEAN HE KISSED HER HAIR EARLY AND THEN HER FOREHEAD THOSE ARE SO CUTE TO ME AND JUST SO NATURAL FOR THEM AHHH. Also “so what are you gunna do about it” “probably something stupid” YES YES YES I AM HERE FOR THAT SHIT

Everyone jumping off the island so they can ‘fly’ on their own, just first off so visually amazing, and second off so symbolic to me of each of them spreading their own wings and growing up into amazing people. 

Fishlegs and his baby dragon, I mean come on lets be real that shit is adorable, and baby dragon had his big dragon (does that dragon have a class name? because I dont remember it) friend and Fishlegs be like dont mess with baby dragon. 

Yooo I knew it, from the trailer I was like “Tuffnut is probs pissed that this dude cut off his hair beard” and boom it happned, but rip hair beard (until the end of the movie that is when it comes back)

Yall that unspoken scene where Hiccup and Astrid are just frickin shit up WHILE THEY JUST LOOK AT EACHOTHER, I MEAN HICCUP JUST CASUALLY THROWS SHIT TO START A FIRE AND THE ENTIRE TIME THEY ARE STARING AT EACHOTHER HAVE A CONVERSATION COMPLETELY WITH THEIR EYES LIKE THAT IS SOME NEXT LEVEL SHIT AND COUPLE GOALS.

I got such satisfaction out of Toothless destroying grimmels arrow shoter thing and watching as Grimmel started to get afraid, I mean this dude was so confident in his abilites, and up until now he has had the upper hand, but then you can see the “oh shit moment” as he realizes he is starting to lose and heck yea im here for it. Speaking of oh shit moments, when hiccup was riding toothless and they wer getting attacked? and then toothless is like “I SUMMON YOU THOR AND YOUR LIGHTING” and hiccup was like WTH?!!??!?!?

Ok yall that scene when toothless got shot, and hiccup is hanging from the light fury with grimmel on his leg? I mean Grimmel really thought that he had won, he underestimated the love Hiccup has for Toothless, and the moment that Hiccup told the light fury to save Toothless and he let go? the hesitation she had trying to pick who to save? her new mate, or his best friend that she now seems to understand has a great important meaning to toothless? The image of Hiccup falling, and the camera angle? I mean seeing him fall from above, seeing it in his face that he was content, content knowing that his best friend would be alive and safe and that Grimmel would no longer be able to hurt the dragons or his people? Such a self sacrifice, a true Chief just like his father. 

Then the light fury to the rescue! Hiccup being like LOL BYE GRIMMLE YOU DEAD. Also reminded me of when he started to ride toothless back in the first movie and they fell and hiccup got back on his back and in control just in time, because dang she saved him his butt just before he hit the water. But seriously I loved this scene, she went back for hiccup, she saw the interactions Toothless had with him, how Toothless protected him and Astrid in the hidden world, how Toothless CHOSE HICCUP when he saw him in danger in the hidden world, she came to realize that this boy is important to Toothless, and she saw that Hiccup was willing to die for Toothless, and she went back and saved him, and God I got emotional.

Also Hiccup leaning on Astrid because he has lost his prostectic leg, yessss im here for it

NOW TO THE REAL TEAR JERKER I mean gosh you could just see the realization again in Hiccup that the dragons didnt belong with them on Berk, that even though they love the dragons and the dragons love them, even though they have worked together for years and they want to live together in peace they just cant do it safely.There are too many people out in the world who would attack berk, and we have seen that both in the movies and the show, and that puts both the people and the dragons at risk. 

It was safest for everyone if the dragons went to the hidden world, where no one could find them, well expect Hiccup and Astrid who have been there once. I just cant though, that scene was just so amazing and heart crushing. I mean you can see it that Toothless doesnt want to leave his best friend, and Hiccup doenst want him to leave, but he reassures him that its ok that its best for everyone and that its time to say good bye for now, not forever though. Then oh God how Astrid follows him, because she knows hes right too, she knows that they can no longer live with their dragons safely, and she takes off Stormflys saddle and says good bye to her best friend. THEN VALKA who has lived with the dragons for 20 years, she knows too and she doenst hesitate to let Cloudjumper go free, and it made so much sense to me that she was so willing to do so even after being together for 20 years, she has protected them for 20 years so there is no doubt in my mind that Valka would do this without a second though if it meant that was the best thing for her friend. THEN OMG EVERYONE ELSE FOLLOWS THAT JUST HURT SO MUCH. I mean ever single Berkian seens what Hiccup did, and everyone knows they have a special bond, I mean they all have a special bond with their dragons, but Hiccup and Toothless are different, they were the only pair that we know of that needed each other to fly, I mean sure the other vikings needed their dragons to fly but their dragons didnt need them to fly, toothless relied on hiccup to control his tail and that bond is so special. Anyway, I just thought that all the others saw Hiccup doing this, and hes their Chief the man who started the whole riding dragons for them, so I have no doubt in my mind that they would follow his lead, and again to me they see Hiccup and Toothless doing this letting go, so they must think “If these two can do it so can I”. I just really think it shows how much the vikings truly care for their dragon friends, when you love someone you want the best for them, you want them to be happy, even if that means you need to say goodbye. And thats what happened here the vikings loved their dragons so much that they were willing to say goodbye to their friends if it meant that they would be save, and the same goes in the other direction, the dragons are not dumb and I believe they knew that leaving is what was best too, that leaving meant that their viking friends would be safer. The love they all have for each other is so amazing. I only wish that the goodbye was long, I am so bad at goodbyes and omg I just wish they had a longer time to say goodbye, not only to their dragons but to the others as well, I mean toothless saying goodbye to Astrid and Stormfly too Hiccup? uG I SUCK AT GOOD BYWS OK I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE ABLE TO SAY GOOD BYE TO ALL THE DRAGONS.

But man i said to myself ‘you can do it dont cry’ didnt work, I sobbed, legit sobbed, and it wasnt my normal movie cry were its just tears, it was the kind where you can feel the pain in your chest from your heart beating to hard, from trying to hold back the chocked sobs so no one else would  get annoyed, although lets be real they are did the same thing so we all cried.  Seeing them all fly off, AND THE REVERSE HAND TOUCH I CANNOT, THAT REALLY HURT I JUST COULDNT TAKE IT THE PARALLELS REALLY KILLED ME THE ENTIR MOVIE. Then Toothlesses look back at Hiccup, and then the long shot and seeing the massive wave of dragons, and then seening toothless following from the back as he is the last to leave, the vikings looking on with sadness and fondness for their dragons, really did come for my heart.

NOW ONTO HAPPY TIMES. the Wedding, oh my god, how lucky can a girl be? I got to see the mother of all my OTPs get married, and dang they were beautiful, and they looked so happy, it just warmed my heart to know that these two dorks who truly have a special relationship finally got married. Then Gobber called them Chief and Chiefstriss and wow really hit me hard that these two were going to lead Berk together, because they are always there to support each other. THEN that kiss so cute, and how Hiccup goes to gently cup her face with his hands, just wow my otp is the best.

Then we again have love master Tuffnut who will take Snotlout as his new student, and FISHLEGS HAS A LITTLE BABY GRUNKLE STUFFED ANIMAL IN HIS BAG. aND RUFF being like “you win i love sensitive guys” Then we have Hiccup and Astrid looking out to the sea as their friends and family come together with them, and Astrid lays her head on his shoulder so great.

Now dang my boy HICCUP WITH A BEARD??? BEARDCUP IS REAL, and he is wearing his fur cap, and Astrid looking like a frickin QUEEN, and AGAIN HOW LUCKY CAN A GIRL BE I SEE A WEDDING AND I GET CHILDREN????? MY OTP HAS TWO CHILDREN???? AND THEY ARE GORGEOUS.

buT DANG when they saw Toothless through the fog and then the light fury and then the little baby heads pop up, and you can see how happy Hiccup is. But Toothless doenst immediatly recognize him, which makes sense because I mean 10 year for humans can change the looks drastically, and hiccup has a beard now so he doenst look like what toothless remembered, plus hes the alpha and must protect his family. Astrid protecting her children like a frickin badass mom, and Zephry hidding behind her mom and Nuffink going into her chest? Ug love it, they trust their mom to protec them, and I love this to because it really shows that they are children, I mean I have no doubt that Astrid and Hiccup are going to raise them to be brave, I mean its Hiccup and Astrid, but they are still children and well they have grown in a world without dragons, different than their parents, we know at that age Astrid was fearless, I mean she wanted to fight a flightmare, but now the world has changed and they arent at war and they can raise their kids as kids, and I love that they showed that fear in the children it just gave a sense of realism to me. 

Then HIccup DID THE THING with the hand and Toothless finally was like “WAIT THIS IS MY HUMAN” and his eyes went big and omg how he attacked him with kisses and licks. Then Astrids laugh to see them reunite, and them urging their kids that it was ok, and remember before when I said they would raise brave kids? Well this little cuties were afraid, but they still listened and trusted their parents, and omg Zephry was so stiff from fear and her face, and Nuffink was hiding his face, but Hiccup came and showed them how to approach Toothless, and wow here we go again with the hand touch and HIccup telling them to let him come to them, and Toothless did the thing AND OMG THEIR REACTION WAS SO CUTE. The way Zephry cocked her head and smiled, and how Nuffink dropped his hand from his face and his mouth widened in awe of his dragon. 

THEN I GET TO SEE HICCUP WITH HIS SON RIDING TOOHTLESS? AND HIS SOON IS JUST MAKING THE CUTEST LITTLE WAVING MOTIONS WITH HIS HANDS. And hiccup throwing his kid in the air as he giggles in delight, and I swear I heard him say “Dada” and it killed me. Then Astrid being Astrid flys right passed them ON STORMFLY, like thank you for not forgetting about my girl, because she loves Stormfly and Stormfly loves her and seeing Astrid ride her with her daughter just made the scene even better. They could have easily forgotten about my girl, but they didnt, they didnt do her dirty, I may not have gotten to see the moment when she and Stormfly met again, BUT I SAW THEY RIDING TOGETHER AND THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

Oh yea bonus points for seeing the light fury and the babies flying with them. Then Hiccup just flys upside down dropping Nuffink on Astrids head, and ug the way he just casually clings to his mother, then I was like wow I hope Zephry gets to ride Toothless with he father, AND THEN HE PULLED UP NEXT TO THEM AND HELD OUT HIS HAND TO DO JUST THAT, dreamworks you really came through for me, thank you so much for allowing Dead and all the other hard workers of this franchise make this amazing world for us. It tore my heart apart, but I loved every second of it, and I have no regrets, it was honestly a great ending,no matter how badly it hurt and how badly I wanted them to live together forever, it was just the perfect ending with a great lesson about letting go and moving on, becoming your own person, and being happy with the memories you had, because being able to say you loved something or someone and letting them go is better than never loving them at all, thats what happend to the vikings and dragons, and thats what happened to me personally at the end of it all. I cant wait to relive the magic and watch all the movies again. 

oh how could I forget? The end credits, you thought the pain ended with the end of the movie nope the credits are going to give you every major scene from each movie, reminding us where we started and where we have come to, and that was just the cherry on top of it all. 

Also side note a girl sat behind me and she goes “is that a toothless plushie?” and yes it was so she asked to see it so i handed him to her and we started talking about the movie, she was able to see it during an early release boo i had work. Anyway she asks me how old i was when the first came out, and I said 16, she seemed shook and i asked her the same, she said she was 5, so if math does me right she would be about 14/15. I was older than she is currently is when the first movie came out, thats wild. Then i laughed off the age difference saying “you would never know ill be 25 in a week”, and her (i assume) mom said I looked young haha. But because of the age difference I gave her some good life advice, I told her not to care about what others think of you, Im almost 25 crying over a dragon movie that means the world to me as i sit with my dragon plushie, and her mom just agreed with me and told her to listen to me because I knew what I was saying haha. Shout out to this girl too because shes the one who told me that Hiccup and Astrids’s kids had cannon names, I had been avoiding everything I could about this movie so I was glad to be up to date on that.

Wow this took me like 2 hours to write i think? I mean yea it was mostly for me to read later in life so I can remember this day, all the photos i took before hand, and all the excitement I had, wow Hi future me! Sorry about all the grammar mistakes but Im just typing as the thoughts come, hope I didnt break your heart again as you read all this. Until next time

[tumblunni]

Does anyone in Wales wanna meet up and say hi?

I dunno if any of my followers live near me! I know most of my besties live in america but do any of you live anywhere in the UK?

I'm totally broke right now so i cant get to england/ireland/scotland, but my disability bus pass lets me travel for free anywhere within Wales. Its been a HUGE help towards my mental health, there were about two years where i never went outside my one local street at all and that sort of isolation just amplifies mental illness.

So umm yeah ive recently become brave enough to visit places i dont know and meet new people. It still makes me anxious as heck but i can actually accomplish it! I feel proud and i wanna continue getting better! seriously all this fresh air has done wonders for me and i need to find more ways to pass the time outdoors even when im broke cos i know if i let myseld self-isolate again til my next benefits payment then im just gonna fall into the same anxiety spiral again.

So umm yeah if any of you guys live in wales or are gonna be in wales this month, would you like to hang out? :D

Or also if anyone just knows any cool places in wales i could go to that are free. Or if anyone could help me make up some ways to amp myself up for going on walks even when i dont have something to do? Like.. If i dont have a "mission" of some sort then i cant distract myself from my anxiety. Its really dumb. I havent yet progressed to the point that im actually able to enjoy socializing or enjoy walking around like.. On its own,for its own merits. But at least now im managing to enjoy doing stuff in busy public places, enpugh so that it can outweigh the panic. Someday that panic will be truly defeated and i can go back to just enjoying walks!! Man i still remember how i really enjoyed Just Walking Around when i was stuck with my dad, i'd be able to just walk the same laps arpund the local shops and park and the scenery itself would inherantly calm me. But then as i continued to grow up under his abusive parenting i started being afraid of other people, feeling like theyd all be thinking the same things he said to me. That sort of isolating tactic where your abuser will be all "you cant survive alone oh im the best thing youll ever have, everyone else will be even worse". To make sure you're too scared to seek help! Its fucked up! And i hate that it actually got worse for the first few years after i left him,cos of the pressures of suddenly having to live alone and be independant when you'd had all independance burned out of you. And then id feel like if i wasnt getting better that meant that he was right, yknow? Anyway thats why im SO HAPPY that i've been making progress!!

So umm lol you can help me continue my Being A Mentally Healthy Person Practise by giving me Missions!

Just..any excuse to go outside. Anything i can do to occupy my mind whenever i start getting The Panics. "Hey bunni i challenge you to go to a place you've never been which begins with the letter M!" "Hey bunni try and find the funniest restaurant names in town!" "Hey bunni ride this random bus number you havent tried before and then ride it back home again!" "Hey bunni keep an eye on the ground and see if you can find three lost pennies before you get home!" "Hey bunni draw my art request but do it while sitting outside somewhere to get over your fear of doing stuff outside somewhere!" "Hey bunni try and pay attention to your surroundings while on your walk and then design a fakemon based on 3 interesting things you saw!"

I dunno lol...

Uhhh.. Probably the best kind of stuff for missions would be stuff that encourages me to go to new places, or to try and come out of my shell a bit more in the places i know. Like dont just be all hyper focused on not freaking out, actually look around a bit more. But its hard to be observant when my attention keeps getting dragged back to panic, so dumb stuff like "count how many red cars"would help trick my stupid misbehaving brain into accidentally doing something healthy for once! Its like i cant be left unsupervised?? Whenever i dont have a Goal or Reason or Distraction for a thing, my default setting for that thing is always Panic And Run. *shrug* Also just im a dumb person who gets easily entertained by goofy mission time. Making stuff into a game has always been my coping strategy, ive been making lots of progress just by keeping a notepad and giving myself experience points for every kilometre i walked per day. And also this is why taking photos of tiny gengar in cute places is truly a healing act!!!!!

[thetravelerwrites]

Daughters (A Stranger Things Drabble)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: Stranger Things Words: 1855

One of my few non-terato related stories, about a year and a half old. This is a stand alone fic about Hopper showing Eleven the birth certificate from Dr. Owens and explaining what it means. Hopper opens up about his lost daughter, Sara. Feedback is appreciated.

Eleven sat on the couch covered in a thick blanket, watching a particularly old western that made very little sense to her, when she heard the special knock on the door.

Without taking her eyes off of the T.V., she reached out mentally and snapped open the four slide locks and the deadbolt with little effort. She heard Hopper enter the cabin, tap his boots against the door frame, and shut the door, though she didn’t turn to look at him. He had gone on his off-day without telling her why, and that, in her experience, was never a good thing. She was a little apprehensive to learn what exactly he’d been up to while he was away.

He stepped around the couch to turn the T.V. off and then sat down beside her, laying two envelopes on the coffee table. One was slim and white, and the second was big, brown, and overflowing.

“What’s that?” Eleven asked, nodding her head at them.

He didn’t answer right away. He sat hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his mustache with his right hand, looking down at the brown envelope.

“I went to see Dr. Owens today,” Hopper mumbled from behind his hand.

Eleven’s heart rate accelerated in alarm.

“Bad man,” Eleven said in a nervous whisper.

“Nah, he ain’t all bad,” Hopper said. “He had something for me. Well, it’s for both of us, actually.” He reached for the white envelope and handed it to her. She took it gingerly.

Opening it, she pulled out a blue paper with writing she didn’t understand. “‘Cert…certificate of birth?’ What does that mean?”

“It’s a paper the parents get when a baby is born. Then when that baby gets old enough, they keep it. It’s proof.”

“Proof of what?”

“Life. Existence.” Hopper turned to her. “It shows who your parents are, where you came from.“ He pointed. “It’s also got a social security number.”

“What’s that for?”

“In American, you have to have a social security number to do just about anything. Go to school, get a job, etc. That number is your whole life.”

She frowned at the digits on the page, then the ones on her arm. “Another number.”

“Yeah,” Hopper laughed. “We all got ‘em, kid. I guess most of us are lucky that it’s not our name, too.” He jerked his chin at the paper. “Keep reading.”

“‘This certifies that in the state of Indiana, Jane Hop…’” She looked up at him. “Hopper?”

He nodded solemnly.

“‘Was born in Hawkins, child of Teresa Ives, Mother, and James Hopper… Father.” She looked back at him and lowered the paper, though still clutched it in her fingers. “I don’t understand. What does this mean?”

“Means it’s official,” Hopper said. “We’re family. You’re kinda stuck with me now. Sorry ‘bout that.”

She shook her head, but didn’t say anything. She was feeling a lot of things she hadn’t experienced before and couldn’t properly name, and was having difficulty sorting through them. She stared hard at the paper for a few minutes. Hopper watched her quietly; he seemed to be giving her space to process all this and room to react. Perhaps preparing for a storm, if she wasn’t happy about the arrangement.

After a few minutes, she folded the paper again and gave it back, which he placed on the table next to the large brown envelope.

“What is that?” She asked.

Again, he didn’t answer immediately, and when he did, it was with a very heavy sigh.

“Well... since we’re family now, I figured I should introduce you two.”

He reached into the brown envelope and pulling out everything that was inside it. There were drawings, old elementary work sheets, coloring pages, but most of it was pictures. Sifting through, he extracted a photograph of a small, blonde-haired, blue-eyed child, wearing a frilly blue dress, smiling widely. Her curly hair was pulled up into two pigtails with aqua blue bands.

“Is that Sara?” Eleven asked tentatively.

Hopper nodded. “This was her first grade class photo. Just a month or two before everything went to shit.” He found another photo, in this one, Hopper was sitting with Sara and a blonde haired, blue-eyed woman who strongly resembled Sara. Hopper was clean-shaven in the picture, and they were all smiling.

Eleven pointed to the woman.

“That’s Diane,” Hopper said. “We were married. Then Sara died. Then we weren’t married anymore.”

“Why?”

“My fault mostly,” Hopper said, staring at the picture. “She wanted to move on, try and get her life back, but I couldn’t let go. I started drinkin’, lost my job because I stopped showing up, all kinds of things that she quite understandably didn’t want to deal with. I wouldn’t have wanted to deal with me, either.”

“Where is she?”

“Philadelphia. She got remarried a few years ago, had herself a new little baby boy. She’s doing good. She’s happy.”

He reached into the pile of papers and drew out another certificate, like the one Hopper got from Owens, but from a different state. The name on the top line was “Sara.”

“She’d be your sister,” He said, staring at the type font as though he couldn’t see anything else. “She’d have loved a sister.”

The emotions that had been swirling in Eleven’s body had settled, and of the remaining ones, the most prominent was sorrow. “What was she like?”

Hopper’s chin shook, and she thought he might not be able to talk about it, but he said, “She was so smart. Smarter than me. Got it from her mom, I guess. She’s so interested in science and space and all that stuff.” He plucked at the aqua blue bracelet around his wrist. A tear fell from his eye and disappeared into his beard.

“She was gonna grow up to be a paleontologist and also an astronaut doctor. Not an astronaut that was also a doctor, a doctor that only treated astronauts.“ He smiled. “She was gonna have thirty kids, but she wasn’t gonna get married cause boys were gross. She was going to do so many things.” More tears fell, and he wiped his nose on his sleeve. “She never got the chance to do anything.”

Emotions can be infectious, especially when the person exhibiting them was so stoic and self-contained ordinarily. Eleven could feel tears on her own cheeks as Hopper spoke.

“Her birthday was April 17th,” He said. “She would have been seven if she had made it that long. She nearly made it.” The tears were falling freely now. He didn’t even attempt to wipe them away. Eleven wondered if he had ever said these things to anyone. She knew vaguely that most people in town didn’t even know he had had a daughter.

“A few months after, I came home and Diane was packing up Sara’s room. Just pulling down everything and stuffing it into boxes. I asked what she was doing… and she said she was donating it. That she couldn’t stand looking at it all every day. And I got so… angry. It was like she was just throwing her away and I couldn’t believe she could do that. I over-did it a little; I yelled a lot, started throwing things. That’s when she kicked me out for the last time. That,” He pointed to the pile. “Was all I managed to save. That’s all that’s left of Sara.

“Well,” He said, “That and this.” He pulled the bracelet off of his wrist and toyed with it a little. ”She used to wear these stretchy blue hair bands, like, every day. She had all kinds of different bows and hair things she could’ve worn, but she always wanted these.

“One day, while she was on chemo, she pulled them out so she could take a bath, and all her hair came with them. After that, she couldn’t wear them anymore. I was going to throw them away, but she made them into a little bracelet and had me wear it. She said she wanted to save them for when her hair grew back.”

His face crumpled. Holding the little blue bracelet in both hands, he pressed it against his forehead and wept.

Eleven pulled herself up to her knees and hugged Hopper around the shoulders, crying into his neck. They stayed that way for some time.

When Eleven drew back, inexplicably, the blue bracelet was now circling her wrist. She looked at Hopper questioningly as she reached to pull it off.

He stopped her. “No, you should have it,” He said. “She’d want you to have it. I want you to have it, too. We’re family now.”

She smiled and her lip quivered. She nodded and looked at the bracelet. A tenuous connection to a sister she’d never meet. She looked at the two certificated on the table.

“Sara was your daughter,” Eleven said slowly, carefully. “Does this mean that I am, too?”

“Yeah,” He said, regaining composure. “That’s exactly what that paper means. You’re my daughter. I’m your dad. Officially.”

“Just officially?” Eleven said.

Hopper shook his head. “No, not just officially. If you want, it could be for real.”

“For real,” Eleven repeated. “Not like Papa.”

“No, not like Papa,” Hopper said seriously. “I know he wanted you to call him that, but was there ever a time when he called you his daughter? Treated you like a dad is supposed to?”

Eleven shook her head emphatically.

“No, because he doesn’t even know what it means. I doubt he’s ever really loved anything. Certainly not you.” Hopper looked down at the two certificates. “I loved Sara. And I love you, too, kid.”

Eleven had never once in her entire life heard those words. The swirl of emotions was back, but this time, the most out-standing one was joy. Incapable of speech, all she could do was smile and cry.

Hopper reached out an arm and Eleven hugged him around the middle, resting her head on his chest. He squeezed her tight with both arms and planted a peck on the top of her head. After some time had passed, they let go of each other, but she took his hand and held it. They both needed the comfort of touch right then.

Eleven dared to picked up a drawing and asked Hopper what it meant. He told her it was supposed to be a dog-velociraptor, laughing. It went on like this for several hours: Eleven would choose something from the pile, and Hopper would explain what it was; tell little, loving stories about Sara’s brief life, and then he would put it back into the envelope.

When they had gone through the entirety of the pictures and papers, all that was left were the two certificates sitting side by side on the table. The only thing they had in common was the line, “James Hopper: Father.” He folded them and put them both in the brown envelope and sealed it. This wasn’t just old memories anymore. It was proof, just like Hopper had said. The love of a man for his daughters.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[slytherin-slitherout]

My 2016

Prepare for a long’un children. Some of these things I haven't even told my closest friends so if you guys see this...I couldn't think of a way to talk about it.

So we’re going to skim right over me going to TAFE and then not going and not finishing because don't need to relive that. I am going to relive some of the worse things, however.

But good things first!

I got a dog - CeeCee - and a cat - Auron - both of who I’ll post a picture of at some point. They are all over my Instagram @caryspendragon if anyone wants to see! 

My family came back to me at the end of 2015 so we’ve all been together which, while tense and stressful at times, is a relief and a lifesaver.

I’m currently halfway through a course in film and tv makeup and special effects that I am both loving (practicals) and failing miserably (assignments). My college has lots of contacts and hopefully I’ll get a bit of work on a filmset this year! I’m jealous enough when my trainers go around in their film crew shirts from previous and upcoming films (not small ones either, I’m talking Johnny Depp and Tom Hiddleston).

Now my two worst experiences.

Early in 2016, I was sexually assaulted. I mean, I don't know if it counts as sexual assault, I called a hotline and all they told me was that I was lucky, but while it was a small thing, its still effecting me. I was at a club and I met a guy. He was cute, talked to me, danced with me, we made out a bit. By the time it was 5am I really didn't feel like going back to my house, and he asked me back to his. I didn't want to do anything and I made that clear, but I tried to be safe by asking his friend his opinion. He said he was engaged and seemed like the sensible and sober one, after all. He said I could trust this guy and that if all I wanted to do was sleep, then thats all that would happen. I believed him. So I went back to their place, me and the guy I was with went to bed, and the friend went to his own room. Or so I thought. I was just falling asleep when the friend came into the room in just his boxers, kneeled by me, and started kissing over my body. I was in shock, and looking towards the guy I was with, he didn't seem bothered in the slightest. My heart was going a hundred beats a minute and I asked the friend to go away, which thankfully, he did. I know I was lucky and that it could have been much worse, but I couldn't sleep for days afterwards and I’m still so nervous around new people, especially guys, these days.

So. Theres number 1.

Number 2.

I was stressed at school. Beyond stressed. Crying, having panic attacks, not eating, and I didn't know what to do. Nobody seemed to be able to see anything was wrong and I was just....so tired. I have some pills for anxiety and I took 13 of them in one go. God, my family was even in the same room and nobody noticed. I came out and said I’d done it because I didn’t want to end up fitting or something and nobody knowing what had happened. Now, let it be known that I’m not suicidal and I did look up my meds to make sure nothing horrific would happen. I was not looking to die, I just wanted someone to notice something was wrong. Anyway, mum took me to the emergency room. Things were okay at first, I was pretty normal, maybe a but out of it. Then things got worse. It started with shivers in the emergency room but once I was moved up to a general ward for the rest of the night...I don't remember a lot, if I’m honest. But apparently I was shaking constantly, screaming for them to give me something to make it stop, yelling about how they were hurting me. I fell asleep at one point because the next time I woke up I wasn't shaking and a guy wanted to talk to me. Psychologist. So we did that and then a nurse came, told me to get dressed, and that a doctor would see me in the psych ward. I was put in the locked reception kind of area and no further information was given to me. There were a few other people there who were nice enough, other patients, and a girl explained things to me. I’d been woken up at 4am to be put in a place with bad couches and a cold outdoor area, told to sit and wait for a doctor, only to be told by this girl that the doctor didn't come until 9-10am. I was confused to say the least. She was nice though - we got chalk to draw on the chalkboards outside. We played hangman. There was a guy there too. He yelled and kicked things around but was never anything but polite to us. As soon as we stepped outside, he said he’d quieten down and that he was sorry. He was frustrated at the staff on duty. He’d ask them politely about things and they’d ignore him completely. It was sad and no wonder he got so upset. He only got worse when day came. I’d gotten some sleep by then, the girl getting me a blanket and showing me how to make a bed with the outside seats. I slept a bit inside too when it got too cold. I did see a doctor, eventually. General conversation about what happened and then I was dismissed. I laid down to try and sleep some more. An older guy was there by now. He and the other guy got into a fight and had to be separated by officers multiple times, right where I was sitting. The older guy said he’d spent his life in jail for something and was trying to get the other guy to calm down, that we’d all see a doctor eventually. The girl told me she’d been stuck in this area for two days once without seeing anyone. It was weird, I found myself more scared of the officers then the patients. I asked them a question three times and they just ignored me, talked about crazies and shitheads like I wasnt even there. Anyway, around ten or eleven I saw my dad outside the door. He came in, asked what was going on with me, and they just let me go. No ifs or buts, nothing about the doctor. So...that was that.

Thats my personal bad experiences, I guess. I have more bad things - like how we hardly have any money. Ive been trying to find a job for two years and nothing. We had to use one of my brothers Christmas money for groceries today. Theres just a lot of things but I think Ive written enough for now.

[cosemizdaloxd]

21.2. i was somewhere idk and there were many people maybe plen air and there were teachers from my kindergarten too and the toilets were not closed once again . _ . so i didnt go there xd then we were somehowtraveling in space by touching something but it didnt teleport my battery from tablet xddddd also i found 2 smartphones and both had dog on the lock screen and i was looking for the owner and i looked through the phone and deduced what kind of person they probably are xd one was listening to song that were titles hot or idk lots of 1 word titles xdd and she had white adidas shirt xd and i wore it a na nostale byl nejaky novy event a nove mista

24.2. i was with my grandma in our flat and she was in the living room and wanted me to be with her and count but i didnt want to and i came later and there was something knocking inside a small wardrobe and my mom and grandma thought it was neighbours but i opened it and got idk what but when i put it in my phone it changed a bit and it was interesting and it was telling me something i was somewhere and people were wearing cool clothes like in 1800 and maybe dresses but not too intense dresses idk and i was with some man idk who was with other people telling them something, i didnt know the other people and i was always following him but i dont remember how i got there and he was nice and telling me what to do idk and he said about how some of them didnt wanted to come and looked at me but like a fun xd and i was very shy and then he had to make some boy recite something to me and i didnt know what to do and i realised later it was a dream so i was trying to think more about the textures

26.2. i was with my cousin at my grandmas and i was walking in the living room feeling like . _ . and then i thought it may be a dream but really didnt think so and i tried to fly and it worked and i was very happy so i tried to be calm and touch the different textures and then i was trying to tell it is a dream to my cousin but i wasnt sure if i can  tell it to her xd i was in idk it was like a game and in the beginning u generated a combination of world rules or idk for example i was in a word where people could see others emotions for example when sad they were blue and stuff and i was in some dancing class and all the other girls there  seemed mean and then we were travelling somewhere and in different world we were in some kinda big room with some man who also was in this world and we were trying to defend our house idk then i was with some king trying to steal other king's stuff we got into his room sneakily and there we saw all his things, his bed wasnt done xd and there was a book he was reading but we were going after something

28.2. my cousin surprisingly drove me somewhere i needed to be in the morning by car instead of my dad and he then came and thought i was still sleeping so he sent me some sarcastic sms but i was already there and i was probably at some train station and i was looking for a bathroom and i also wanted to shower myself and then i found some but it was a bit open and luckily there was a hairdryer and people from english school were going to that event too it was maybe something with horses

1.3. i was at school i wasnt for a long time in it and some teacher havent even seen me and i felt bad and i had lots to catch up  and there were classmates from all over my school and i was asking sisa something and i came late into the class where the teacher didnt know me and i was apologizing but she was very strict and angry

4.3. i was waking up or idk i was in the bedroom in the morning and my ?bf was there but secretly and saying nice things but i was very scared my mom would hear it but maybe he wasnt real idk xd i was shopping in the same shop for the second time that day but there were some different people than in the morning because of their shifts so that was nice and there was miley cyrus and her songs were playing and i realized that shes not singing it because she just went to the wc and the song was still playing the same and she was walking there and she wouldnt sound this well xD

5.3. i was in some school and there was nelly and idk some ppl i knew but also some i didnt and it was university but looked like grade school and i was sitting on the right in the first or second desk and then i went to the back but sunwas really a lot shining into my eyes and i couldnt see no matter how much i tried and some boy said he cant read it because the sun and the teacher said that cant be true and i said its happening to me too and i was triggered and went back to the front and the teacher was really mean and saying things that were overly complicated and it was czech language teacher and in the start i liked her but in the end i really hated her i had to say the answers really quickly and i couldnt and she would take it as if i didnt understand also when i sat in the back i was really sleepy and when i sat to the front i didnt xd then after class i was saying to my friends with nelly that i dislike czech language now xd

6.3. i was in a game it was dont starve together but there were new things like little spooky town generated with pumpkin houses but then it was like real life and we all were in the houses and some evil people were searching for us and didnt find us at first and i was with my grandma xd then i was with my grandma at her house and we were outside and saw badger with her little babies at the neighbours backyard xd

7.3. i was at the entrance exams and in the end i was looking at everybodys pictures and i remember one on which there were three small yellow houses from bird view perspective and i accidentaly teared my friend1¨s drawing and accidentaly i threw away a part of my work and i was searching for it and talking with other people there and really liking their pictures

8.3. there were some more doggos at my grandma but some of them were hurt because of the fence because they got stuck in it and bony bite some brown chubby small dog ;-;

9.3. 13.3. i was going by bus home with my cousin but it wasnt usual bus idk and my cousin was so different talking to these people she said she should have it free because she is a student and she showed them some card and the boy asked her something and she said his name as her parent or something like she was used doin this 14.3. i was somewhere with my classmates from like third grade and we were small i guess and it was big building and there was cinema and i was sitting there it was dark there then there was some place for food and it was for free or for some money we made in a game there xd

[sweetest--melody]

4,5,6,7,8,9,14,17,23,25,26,29,30-39,44,47,50,51,52,55,58,62,67,68,71,77,80,82,83,84,85,86,88,90,94,97,99,100. i did not read over the post to find out what questions those all are, i picked them at random.

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAA SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG i’ve been so dang busy these few weeks, december is hell where i work lol

4 do you like your name? why?

tbh I never really liked my name, but I’ve slowly stopped caring. there’s a lot of reasons, some that i wont talk about, but mostly because there are too many “frank”s in the world and i just hate how it sounds and it just feels wrong to say or hear and just think “yes that is my name”

5 what is your relationship status?

very, very single lmao, things didnt work out with that girl i was talking to

6 describe your personality in 3 words or less

bad at people

7 what color hair do you have?

brown!

8 what kind of car do you drive? color?

ive got a 2008 ford focus, with this grey-ish brown color

9 where do you shop? 

mostly online, but I get clothes from random places, mostly just some of the stores in this dying mall near where i live (sears n old navy n shit)

14 if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

orlando, just the right amount of city with highways that aren’t complete ass garbage, even if the traffic could suck. i just wish it wasnt so humid / hot cause i dont like heat and man my hair is not happy there lol

17 how many times a week do you shower?

most every night, depends on when i work sometimes, sometimes i skip a day if i dont work the next day cause like i dont really end up smelling or feeling bad, and im not going anywhere.

23 describe your dream date

we get semi-nicely dressed up, go out and watch the sunset together, maybe with some food like a picnic or something! then we either go to a theater or home, but we hang out see a movie and cuddle the whole time

25 what color socks are you wearing?

i got these super soft and thick socks, they are so warm i love them. and they are a tan brown lol

26 how many pillows do you sleep with?

i have 4 on my bed, but i only use 2

29 whats the worst thing you have ever done?

i pretty badly hurt an old close friend of mine by dumping a bunch of negative emotion onto them and making them go through my nonsense while they were already hurting themselves, and even ignoring the fact that they were uh... pretty sick.

30 whats your favorite candle scent?

hmmm i havent used candles in a long while, i think the one that we always used was this cinnamon apple one

31 3 favorite boy names

james, jack, chris

32 3 favorite girl names

MELODY, Rose, Lily

33 favorite actor?

jack black will always have a special place in my heart, he’s not necessarily the best at acting but the energy and personality he brings can NEVER be ignored

34 favorite actress?

can i cheat a bit and use a voice actress? cause i just adore jennifer hale, she’s just got that kind of voice that you can always tell its hers and she does some really solid voicework.

35 who is your celebrity crush?

dave grohl, he’s such a fucking babe

36 favorite movie?

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD!! its SUCH a well-made stylistically brilliant film with REALLY good casting that sold the tone so fucking well, with really good music and the most brilliant editing I have ever seen.

37 do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i dont read much, no, but i loved when i read To Kill a Mockingbird in high school, just so many profound themes working perfectly in tandem with one another.

38 money or brains?

as in which would i rather have or which would i prefer in a person? id go with money for myself so i can like be happy and content in most aspects of life and like be able to give more gifts to my friends and family and stuff, but brains in another person cause i am just REALLY bad with talking to people and making friends so having someone that can pick up on all my unusual cues and that would know how to keep me in a conversation would help a ton.

39 do you have a nickname? what is it?

some older friends call me “francis”, and people at work call me “PT” - ponytail, because i wear my hair back when i work.

44 what is your biggest fear?

the ruling going on today, if this anti-net neutrality stuff passes, then i could possibly lose contact with all of my friends and pretty much my entire support system, and my future that i am already afraid of is absolutely going to be worse with how much im going to have to pay to even get the basics that are provided to us now. all my online shopping? nope. online research? nah. my entire possible line of work?? good luck uploading anything to sites you cant access buddy.

47 what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

i am fortunate enough to be in a pretty big house right now

50 what was the last text you sent?

“They said it’s gonna be a few minutes” - to my manager

51 how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

like 8 or 9, i knew cause i was awake and heard my dad walking out with the presents, i could hear the wrapping paper rustling and him cursing when he almost dropped something. he was really mad when i told him i knew for some reason lol

52 what is your dream car?

a tesla, such beautiful, energy efficient cars

55 what is your dream job?

i would love to be a journalist, one promoting completely impartial by-the-book news and investigations, being the change we all want to see in news media.

58 do you have freckles?

nope

62 do you still watch cartoons?

absolutely, three of my favorite pieces of media PERIOD are cartoons, BoJack Horseman, Samurai Jack, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. animation deserves to be respected, it is an art form unlike any other with such humongous possibilities for visual expression and storytelling.

67 what are your hobbies?

i love video games so much like jfc

68 can you draw?

sort of, ive never been really good at it and my hands are not very steady, and i cant do figures very well, but if theres something i need to convey that i cant through words i can draw it.

71 tea or coffee?

i like them both, but prefer coffee more often. should try more teas though, sometimes coffee makes me feel like trash lol

77 do you miss anyone right now?

of course, i miss my last group of friends dearly, they were all such wonderful people that were constantly enjoyable to be around, everyone except for one of them, we disagreed and clashed on a lot of things, and our personalities just did not mix well at all, so it caused a lot of problems and ended in me being ghosted out. and of course i miss someone else buuut not as much anymore, we’re solid friends now, i just cant help but miss some things.

80 what is your biggest pet peeve?

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO 60 MILES AN HOUR IN A 35 AT 5 PM WHERE YOU NEED TO WEAVE IN AND OUT OF LANES OVER AND OVER AGAIN JUST SLOW DOWN AND STOP PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES AT RISK BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GET SOMEWHERE THIRTY SECONDS EARLIER

82 favorite ice cream flavor?

cokie dough! i always get the ben n jerry’s half baked!

83 regular oreos or golden oreos?

i love them both, but i prefer the regular!

 84chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

now that i dont have a preference for

85 what shirt are you wearing?

black t shirt like usual

86 what is your phone background?

88 do you like it when people play with your hair?

you have NO idea. OH AND I JUST SWITCHED HAIR PRODUCTS AND IT IS SO FUCKING SOFT RIGHT NOW NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME

90 do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

both in the morning and at night

94 favorite lyrics right now

tbh the entirety of Sugar we’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy, it’s been stuck in my head for a while mostly because its fun to sing but MAN there is some interesting writing going on here, positively loaded with metaphor and double-meanings.

97 dark, milk, or white chocolate?

milk! i never really liked the other two that much, though white chocolate has grown on me a bit

99 what is your zodiac sign

i’m a capricorn!

100 who was the last person you cried in front of?

oh jeez i havent cried in a while, especially not in front of someone... maybe i sister? i think i got drunk with her sometime last year, came out to her, and talked about our dead dad so there was definitely some tears there but was that the last time i cried in front of someone??

[tumblunni]

Alright I guess I’m watching the two-parter first cos lol I cant just let that spoiler stew in my head for half an hour. Bunni’s commentary below the cut, woooo!!

* I love steven’s postman song * Oh so maybe this is the thing we saw in the mysterious promos where the human characters suddenly go missing for some reason? But i’d think if Jamie didnt show up to work then they’d just send a different postman to deliver steven’s route, I mean we’ve seen that sadie’s mom sometimes delivers instead of him. * where did amethyst even get soda can beans * damn i hate beans and i still really want soda can beans now * PEARL AND GARNET MADE A SANDCASTLE HOUSE FOR CRABS, THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST ADORABLE SCENE IN THIS WHOLE SHOW GODDAMMIT * THEYRE JUST SO HAPPY ABOUT IT * AAAAAAAAAAA * anyway, continuing on... * or not, here have a pic first

* NOW, CONTINUING ON! * OH NOOOOO. man, that scene with sour cream putting up missing posters for his brother is so sad! I’m not a massive onion fan but still, he’s just a lil kid T_T * Okay, i do like that they did actually bring back sadie’s mom the postman, even if it was in a different way than I expected. I dont like the joke about her making secret copies of sadie’s keys though, thats just not funny when we had a whole episode about her being an abusive mother and now its like we’re saying she didnt actually learn her lesson after all. I know it was meant to be a joke tho, but it wasnt very funny so its easy to take it as serious... * I also liked that they brought up the island adventure episode as an idea for where sadie might be. Man that thing was still one of the darkest things ever, yikes... * Tho I do like that sadie’s mom is the first one to take steven’s concerns seriously, and she clearly has changed a bit cos she’s so fired up to save her daughter now. I hope you continue appearing more and continue with this good character development, sadie’s mom! Less dumb abusive parent jokes plz! * I really like aquamarine’s design, yo! She seems kinda like onion’s unique art style? and its cool to see that she’s clearly of the same kind of ‘caste’ as lapis and even shares the same colourscheme but she’s also a very unique variation. Its a shame that the ‘my dad’ thing was what got spoiled for me tho, cos I could imagine I woulda got attatched to her and assumed she was a lil kid if I hadnt seen that part first. * HAPPY MUSHY STEVEN AND CONNIE FRIENDSHIP TIME! while surrounded by the growing dread of all their friends potentially being dead! HOORAY? * okay i laughed way too much at Connie: *crumples up a leaf and watches it blow away* well, we know there’s wind just the overdramatic way it was animated, lol these two really arent very good at detectiving, this episode probably aint gonna end well.. * I also like how much empathy they both had for aquamarine even though they know nothing about her. and the various silly theories of how she has a dad, I totes agree that I’d wanna see a movie about aquamarine as batman! * Steven: *leaning into a tree* JAMIE! You in here delivering packages to some peat moss? WHY AM I LAUGHING SO MUCH * Also a bit late but let me say I loved everyone’s bad attempts at drawing aquamarine. Connie’s super anime version was ADORABLE, and omg pearl doing this uber complex Mucha style thing and going ‘oh im so bad at drawing lol’ * CONNIE YOU ARE MAYBE NOT HOLDING THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF SUSPICION HERE. “Jump down and I’ll shield your fall with my body!” connie please stop being so kind and perfect for once in your life * also its a bit silly that connie is the one who starts to cotton on that this is a tad confusing and suspicious, when steven just had the whole episode with Ruby. You’d think he’d know now not to assume that childlike gems are all instantly good :P * okay NOW he gets suspicious! after he somehow got himself stuck in a tree and connie is right in the grasp of this potentially evil gem. BAD SENSE OF TIMING, DUDE * I know she’s kinda meant to be terrifying but I LOVE TOPAZ ALREADY. Can we plz get like.. a large buff gem who isnt evil for once? Its starting to become an odd pattern. But yeah topaz/topazes hasnt even got a line yet and we dont know anything about her or how that weaponized fusion thing works but its just REALLY COOL and she looks really cute and I would love to hug her if she didnt absorb me into her skin like a horrifying death monster. That SLIGHTLY lowers the huggability factor! Slightly! But seriously she’s like a silent mook to a boss thats really rude to her, so i can totally see a big opportunity for her joining the hero side, yo. * also i like that aquamarine’s weapon is a magical wand that can turn into a hair ribbon. thats just very neat! also reminds me of syndrome from the incredibles * SO YEAH! DAT TWIST! Its cook that they made a callback AAAAAALLLL the way to a stray line of dialogue in peridot’s very first episode! Apparantly steven accidentally caused them to target his friends, cos he talked about them once and homeworld was receiving peridot’s logs back then. And the whole ‘are you my dad’ thing was just because they literally thought greg’s name was ‘my dad’. * Topaz using the captured friends as shields against the heroes = further proof that topaz is more smart than her jerk boss gives her credit for. But also a total dick move, yo! It was funny having the callback to jamie’s crush on garnet tho * same as I said with Navy-ruby, I LOVE that we’re getting more actually detestable villains to root for our heroes to defeat and all. the show was slowing down for a bit when we didnt have any villains or any threats left for like half a whole season. Aquamarine is SO SCARY! ‘they didnt specify the humans have to be alive~ hee hee~’ Yes I am 100% for cliche ‘innocent’ looking characters being evil villains, now can we please have the cliche ‘barbarian mook’ ones be good guys too. PLEASE GIV ME TOPAZ REDEMPTION. I dont know why i want this so much when she’s only been onscreen for 4 dialogueless minutes!!! * okay she’s kinda gonna crush jamie’s skull in the palm of her hand but im still gonna hope for dat redemption yo *STUBBORN TIL THE DAY I DIE* *PROBABLY BY ALSO BEING CRUSHED BY TOPAZ* *BUT WHATEVER* * I cant believe ‘her body is so thicc’ was actually said. Wonder how long until people take that out of context, lol? * I love that the bigger threat than topaz is apparantly jamie’s poetry about being killed by topaz. HURRY UP STEVEN!! * LARS U PIECE OF SHIT! can we just fuckin kill him off already? i’ve had SO much patience for this guy, I just hate how they keep cockteasing us with him learning a lesson or being sympathetic in some way and then keep taking it back and making him EVEN WORSE. Now he’s literally running off and leaving sadie to die! JUST STOP, SHOW. Or at least stop giving him so much screentime if NOTHING IS EVER GONNA HAPPEN IN IT. I started off amoungst the people who thought he was potentially redeemable, yo! >_< * Okay, very good cliffhanger that everyone else escapes but they take steven back to homeworld. Again. Well, hopefully this time will be quite different to the zoo episode? Also it seems lars running away was just a plot device to get lars stuck on the ship too in the end, which *UGH* means he’ll probably get more screentime next episode :P fuckin hell ive given up all hope you’re gonna make him an interesting, fully rounded character ever :P * still hoping for topaz redemption arc * seriously kill lars and bring her back in his place * or just give me a whole episode of topaz slapping him til he becomes a better person * same for aquamarine * everything is solved by topaz’s backhand