#i would also love to have a similar discussion on the role of parody in all of this

[smol-warrior-1258]

What's The Point Of A Faithful Mario Adaptation?

Obvs this is very focused on video games to movies, but honestly the discourse on adaptations writ large is exactly how I usually talk about it. I've had the conversation so many times talking about adaptations (typically book to movie/tv or remakes of movies/tv) and how any adaptation should be looking at how the new medium can be uniquely leveraged to reimagine the same content. If I ever find the time I want to check out some of the references he uses and read more.

That's basically the tl;dr bc the rest is a lot of assorted thoughts on adaptation & meta content without a ton of cohesive flow. I have a lot of feelings on the topic and not a lot of structure while expressing them . . .

A huge example of missing the mark re: changing medium is all the live action Disney remakes. I personally find them somewhat disappointing across the board simply because they don't use the live action-ness to any substantial effect. It reads much more as "live action is the ultimate goal in cinema on principle" than "live action would provide genuine enhancement to the material in ways the original animation couldn't" which feels very hollow as a viewer. (Not even considering The Lion King and it's souless and still ultimately animated 'realistic' animals) The engaging aspect of retellings as discussed in this video - ie that they're a fundamental aspect of the human condition re: storytelling - is to cast new light on a beloved piece of content and, in doing so, shine up one facet of a larger jewel. That will inherently mean deviations to some extent, but those deviations ideally work in conversation with the source material and other adaptations, and changes are made with a purpose that will theoretically make up for anything lost in the process.

On that topic, changes - large or small - are a very slippery slope. I am generally inclined to hold the first version I encounter of a particular story (whether that is the original or not) much closer to my heart, and prefer that all the little details that make it up remain untouched. It seems to me that without all those little things, the story simply wouldn't be precisely what it is, and tweaking elements can have a major ripple effect. All that said, changing mediums fundamentally changes the tools you're working with and therefore your ability to convey the same narrative. For example, the most common change from book to movie is simply to cut and/or shorten scenes. Books can be a lot longer/narratively dense than movies can and it is unreasonable to make a 6hr movie just to include every scene. They are tonally very different mediums, and the audience expectations differ as well. Much as I hate to see scenes cut, I can understand the limitation. Similarly, movies & tv are subject to ratings that books are not. Many adaptations have to tone down violence, gore, and other mature or taboo content just to reach the same audiences as their source material and therefore cannot be wholly text accurate (Game of Thrones and Outlander would definitely fall into that category). Those types of adjustments are all understandble even if they take away from the viewing experience for some people. A quick call out for things like Rent or Little Shop of Horrors where the endings were completely changed in specific recognition of the fact that character death is much easier for theatre audiences to stomach than to see on screen bc you get to break the immersion at the end. The real problem, in my opinion/experience, is when changes are made with no clear goal/rationale/purpose - or worse, when source content is removed but then new material is added without justifying the switch (especially when that then causes plot holes or other narrative problems that need to be resolved!) Those kinds of things not only feel like a slap to the face on principle, but can radically alter the larger tone and miss more foundational aspects of the source material (at best; at worst they can actively go against characterizations, plot points, or worldbuilding established in the source material - a personal pet peeve of mine).

There's also a whole conversation to be had about the phethora of movies adapted from books where they had to drastically expand the scope in order to fill a runtime. This mostly applies for picture book to movie adaptations (Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Horton Hears a Who, most versions of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas), but also for longer form novels that are just less involved (idk if that's the right word for it) than movie producers would like (The Hobbit though that's a topic unto itself and overdiscussed to boot, A Wrinkle in Time, I would even place Cats [the movie] in this category) Just as another aspect to consider, particularly when it comes to the video game to movie adaptations he talks about in the video, but I think it's a separate enough topic to not get into here.

This video also naturally made me think of fanfiction (my husband & I actually paused it to have a sidebar on the topic) and how it often serves the retelling function discussed in the video. There's the stuff like describing scenes from an alternative character pov, writing in scenes that were skipped/glossed over, expanding on background moments, etc which are fundamentally about producing more of the existing content but a little to the left, as it were, while generally operating within the confines of canon. We, as consumers of the source material, simply want to have more of a thing we like and thus the lovely creative fans of the world produce content to fulfill that desire. There is also the wide variety of truely adapted content in fanfiction like AUs, canon divergence, role swaps, non-canonical shipping, or introducing realistic elements to stylized and/or sanitized source content (cursing, violence/injury, sex or other explicit material, diverse characters, etc) which by & large enhance the overall experience of engaging with the source material even while altering it. Even the act of speculation & extrapolation in the form of headcanon-ing helps audiences participate in the process of storytelling and subsequently enjoy it more as an active process of engagement, rather than something passively consumed.

There is also a conversation to be had about using adaptation as a vessel for accessibility to larger, newer, or different audiences. This is both on a logistical level (ex audiobooks & visual adaptations for those with dyslexia, cinematic versions of broadway shows for those who cannot afford to see it on stage, etc) and on a more abtract level (ex recasting a story with a female lead like His Girl Friday does with The Front Page in order to examine how the same circumstances play out differently, using a modern setting to make a statement on society through the lens of a known story like West Side Story does with Romeo & Juliet, etc). Many current remakes & adaptations of beloved franchises are no doubt motivated by profitability, but it doesn't change the fact that a variety of new viewers are being exposed to the source content for the first time. We as fans hope that will only be the gateway drug introducing fresh faces to the entire fandom, but even if it doesn't (or if the adaptation is intolerable to those who were already fans) there is some intrinsic merit to expanding that audience. Fanfiction also often operates to open source material up to marginalized audiences in ways mass produced content doesn't, and allows sidelined stories to be told through known material.

Idk where I really meant to land with all this, but the video really helped me solidify my existing Adaptation Thoughts and I wanted more people to see it and engage in a very interesting conversation!

[weaselandfriends]

Don't suppose you've seen Gen Urobuchi's recent movie on Netflix, Bubble? It has a lot of Madoka Magica DNA, because of course it does—but it's surprisingly bloodless for one of his stories. For that reason, I can't imagine you'd like it, but it occurred to me that its premise, with boys surviving out in the world while playing a competitive sport, had very similar vibes to some of the themes you've discussed regarding your upcoming Pokémon fic!

I have not seen Bubble. I'm honestly awful at watching new stuff as it comes out, though like everyone else I am currently watching Frieren (and I saw Oshi no Ko last season).

As far as Urobuchi goes, I've honestly not been too impressed by the rest of his oeuvre. What I've seen includes:

Fate/Zero: Falls off hard in the second half, though the reason for this might have more to do with being a prequel than any particular decisions Urobuchi himself made

Phantom Requiem for the Phantom: Ignore the awesome name, this is so boring, also has a terrible Dice Guy villain (I'll explain what this means); however, the ending (like the last five minutes) is strong

Psycho-Pass: Another outrageous Dice Guy villain, slow start, though it picks up near the end

Saya no Uta: I actually like this, it's good

Now what is a Dice Guy? This is a term I coined when watching the extremely bad anime Akuma no Riddle. In this anime, there is a character who barely ever interacts with the plot, but rather stays in the background, sitting in a shadowy room, from which he ostensibly exerts some puppetmaster-style control over the events unfolding. The show frequently cuts to this character as he monologues to himself about deep-sounding philosophical topics such as the nature of fate and chance, topics he emphasizes by a fixation with a pair of dice he constantly rolls. For instance, at once point he might say something like "Fate is... a roll of the dice," and then roll his dice. (I parodied this specific guy in Cockatiel x Chameleon via the company boss Harper meets near the end of the story.)

Though it's not always dice specifically that the Dice Guy plays with as he rambles about intellectual-sounding topics in the most surface-level ways imaginable, the core conceit is similar, and Urobuchi loves this type of guy to no end. Psycho-Pass's villain, for instance, is constantly monologuing about and quoting literature; Phantom Requiem for the Phantom's villain has a similar fixation with theater, likening the events of the story to performances in a play.

I hate these guys. They're insufferable. And they plague Urobuchi's work. Kyubey would probably have wound up a dice guy if the necessities of Madoka's plot structure didn't leave him only ambiguously villainous for most of the story. He does, after all, fill the role of a shadowy puppetmaster. I'm imagining a world where Kyubey's speech likening magical girls to cattle isn't a one-off moment but the core defining motif of his character, and I shiver.

While a lot of fans in the space attribute Madoka entirely to Urobuchi, I like to point out that Madoka also had an auteur director at the helm with his own distinct creative vision: Akiyuki Shinbo, the mastermind behind everything produced by Studio Shaft. I think Shinbo and Urobuchi both limited some of the other's more indulgent practices, and it is specifically in their collaboration that something as uniquely special as Madoka Magica could come about.

Anyway, I apologize for going on this diatribe/rant, but I feel bad answering a question sent to me with a simple "No," so I gave you this instead. Enjoy?

[isfjmel-phleg]

@fictionadventurer asked:

Branching out to other fandom-type content: How about playlists? Costume analysis? Fancasting? Weird crossovers? (Psmith in New York meets the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just occurred to me and delights me with the absurdity)

I've already done costume analysis! And I regret I can't help you with any playlists (not good at making those and apparently I must have deleted all my old attempts in shame or something) and I'm drawing a blank with weird crossovers (but Psmith and the TMNT is a hilarious thought, and if anyone else has further crossover ideas, I'd love to hear them). So how about fancasting?

Of a sort, anyway. I don't know of enough actors to be able to suggest specific people, but I do know what I would be looking for if I were the casting director.

First of all, I've had it with all these forty-year-olds playing Psmith. He is a teenager/young adult, and it's very important that that come across for him to make sense. So my ideal actor for Psmith would be youthful, as well as fitting the books' description of notably tall and thin, with a llama-like countenance. He would need to have brilliant comedic timing and the ability to rattle off the most ridiculous nonsense with an utterly straight face. He would have to convey all the layers of the character--Psmith is not merely an upper-class caricature. You couldn't play him like the average member of the Drones Club. He's charismatic and personable and calculating and sometimes utterly cold, but you need to get the sense sometimes that this is a mask, that there's a much more vulnerable person underneath, the one who is capable of sincere friendship and self-sacrifice. Psmith is often out of touch with who he really is, and his actor would need to be able to convey this.

Mike's actor should be around the same age, very average-looking in terms of features, but athletically built--believable as a gifted cricketer. He should be able to carry the role of the protagonist in his own right; the audience should find him interesting and likeable for himself, not merely because he is Psmith's friend. He's confident in his talent and a ringleader in pranks, warm-hearted, easygoing yet obstinate, impulsive, occasionally quick-tempered, but also painfully prone to social anxiety, and his actor would need to pull off all these facets. This is often a more dramatic than comedic role; there needs to be believable angst to offset the humor.

Eve's actress should be able to match Psmith's actor in charisma and wit, but where he is detached and languid, she should be energetic and driven. She needs to have a very warm quality--light-hearted and affectionate but also quick-tempered and blunt. She's impulsive, but she's not a ditz. She's clever enough to see through Psmith and can roll with the eccentricity--revel in it, even.

We don't see much of Phyllis, but she would need to be played by someone physically distinct from Eve, very petite, very innocent-looking. An ingenue type, but with hints of more fortitude beneath the fragile exterior than one might expect.

Etc. etc. I do have very clear mental images of the cast! If only I knew of any (current) actors.

And you further asked:

Actually, the TMNT comparison may have a serious application to Psmith--both properties are in some way parodies of other works. So take that angle with Psmith? I know you've discussed the schoolboy stories the first book parodied, but are there tales of boy-at-first-job, or fighting gangsters, etc. that have tropes you can compare with the way Psmith alproached them?

I am so, so sorry, but I have zero familiarity with turn-of-the-century stories in similar genres to Psmith in the City or Psmith, Journalist, and I have no idea where I would find any. These Psmith stories were serialized alongside most school stories and adventure stories, so there's not much point of comparison. If I recall correctly, Wodehouse seems less conscious of specific tropes with these two stories than he does in his school stories, which implies that they might be at least less consciously parodic. If anyone is familiar with early twentieth-century fiction pertaining to first jobs or fighting gangsters in American cities, I'd be interested in hearing about what's out there in comparison to what Wodehouse did with those genres.

[kitchfit]

Year in Review: Movies Part 1

I don't have that great of an attention span. If its something I am invested in I can spend hours upon hours reading or playing through it until I get a headache telling me its time for bed, but if something doesn't hook me after around 30 minutes I'm probably turning it off or putting it down for a bit. It is for this reason I don't finish a lot of movies unless there is another reason to watch through it all. Usually that means watching it with other people. If there aren't friends to help me finish this movie it's probably going back in the case, which I think is true for all but one movie on this list.

Glass Onion

Knives Out is one of my favorite movies of all time. I've not read any of Agatha Christie's works which is who Benoit Blanc is largely parodying, but I do love other things inspired by her such as Columbo, and the first movie is a stellar deconstruction of that genre, while still providing an engaging mystery. I saw this movie's baby brother at the dawn of the New Year alongside my cousin, both fervently pushing out trope appropriate theories only to be completely wrong at the twist ending in plain sight.

This sequel is not anything as elegant as the first, but still seeks to deconstruct mystery tropes in a very similar fashion. The mastermind behind a series of murders or even one murder is a role often given to rich, suave, and intelligent people of high standing. It is this role that Edward Norton's character sees himself as, but while he is a rich dude of high standing, he is a more realistic rich dude than most murder mystery antagonists; that is, an arrogant dumbass who got where he is by manipulating and screwing over everyone he can. He wants to be complex while being transparently simple. Also he smells. LIKE AN ONION. WHOA. ONE MADE OUT OF GLASS. THANKS JOHN LEMON.

A Silent Voice

A good way to get me to watch a movie until the end is to make it animated, that way even if its boring as all hell I still get to look at some pretty art. That's not the case with this movie. I first watched this on a bus ride when I was sixteen with one earphone on while the girl next to me held it up on her phone. That was a good memory, but seeing the gorgeous animation on the big screen was a nice treat.

I love the dynamic between the two main characters. I wouldn't say this movie is a romance in any real sense of the term, but is about a relationship. Both of these kids spend most of their adolescence admonishing themselves for hurting the other, believing everyone hates them for what happened when they were 10. This is especially tragic for Shouko, the deaf girl who did literally nothing besides exist and try to make friends. The fact that she blames herself for her bully becoming ostracized is even played as a twist, but its a very realistic mindset anyone can fall into. The theme is forgiveness of the self after others have already forgiven you, which can be pretty tough to do, especially when you've done some genuinely shitty stuff.

I also showed this movie to my mom, an ASL instructor and translator, cause I thought it might be interesting for her, but she lost interest and fell asleep after she realized it was JSL and couldn't understand it.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

My friends were freaking out about this film, one of them going so far as to watch it like six separate times within the span of a couple weeks. This made me expect it to blow my mind, but it was just a very well written, beautifully animated movie about a cat coming to terms with its own death. I think the drought of movies with good writing from mainstream studios really elevated this one further than it would have normally. It was nice to return to this character, having grown up with the Shrek films, and doubly nice to see his character arc being used to discuss a serious topic in a healthy way.

The central conflict is the most compelling aspect of the story, the John Mulaney villain and Goldilocks subplot are funny and entertaining, but the effectiveness of Death as the main antagonist is genius. The Shrek universe has always been a conglomeration of fairytales and folktales brought to one setting, and who is most common death metaphor than the big bad wolf? Or I'm sorry. Not a metaphor. He's just Death. Straight up. You don't outrun death or win against it in any meaningful capacity, and the story could only end with Puss' acceptance that he will die. There's no Sisypussing his way out of this one. Pussyphusing? Pfft.

X-Men: First Class

My dad and I decided to watch through every X-Men movie earlier this year. We managed two of them. They're good movies, most of them at least, but marathoning all *looks at watch* eleven films just never came to fruition. This one might be in my top 3 for X-Men movies, though. Xavier and Magneto's relationship has always been the most interesting part of these films, and this movie puts it front and center. Xavier's focus on helping his friend make peace with his traumatic past is something so genuinely sweet that ultimately empowers his greatest enemy. It's this understanding they have with each other, established in this movie, that underlines every interaction they have in the future.

The rest of this movie is pretty standard origin story stuff for the ensemble cast. How the Beast Became Blue. How Mystique Stopped Pretending and Became Her True Blue Self. How the Guy Who's Power is To Never Die, Died. It's fun for what it is but overall pretty generic.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

This is also one of the better X-Men films, not sure if I'd put it in the top 3, but there's enough time travel nonsense in this movie to make me giddy. I love paradoxical bullshit. This movie works as both a direct sequel to First Class, while also working in the continuity of the first 7 or so films. It's the Apocalypse, baby! Okay, not that Apocalypse, I still haven't seen that one, but we are introduced to one of the more famous fascist genocidal hellscapes to come out of Marvel comics. The story starts at the very end of this murderous crusade, only a handful of mutants are still alive, grouped together as a unit in some abandoned... temple bunker? I'm sure this is explained somewhere in the movie, but it makes a cool setting to fight for your life in.

Most of the plot, however, takes place in the 70s. It was a big twist in the comics that the girl who can walk through space without hindrance can also walk through time the same way, but in this movie Kitty Pryde can only send other people into their past selves, meaning it's once again Wolverine's turn to take the spotlight, because Hugh Jackman is more expensive than Elliot Page. It makes less sense, but this movie still has a lot of fun jumping between the past and future versions of established characters. Angry, passionate Magneto in his 30s vs the wizened Sir Ian McKellen Magneto. At some point the X Man himself gets to talk directly to his depressed, 70s incarnation. Not to mention Quicksilver is there, which is always nice.

This was the "Rogue Cut," which adds cut content about Rogue infiltrating a sentry factory to blow it up. The new stuff doesn't add a lot, but I did like her character from earlier films, so it was cool to see her again.

Shrek

After the joy of obsessing over Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, one of my friends insisted that we all catch up on the deep lore of the franchise, and go through every Shrek movie in order. Unlike with X-Men, we succeeded in one marathon through them all. The dude who suggested this also made the assertion that PiB: Wish was the first Shrek film to feature blood and cursing. This is patently false and I took immense pleasure in proving him wrong. *whispers* Shrek says ass within the first twenty minutes, don't tell mom!

The first movie got memed on quite a bit, but I think most people have come around to enjoying it in a genuine sense. It's a cute love story with a good message and funny fard jokes. I don't think the gross-out humor really oversteps in bounds, and it would feel pretty bizarre in hindsight if a movie like Shrek ever toned that stuff down. There were a lot of movies with "fairytales come to life and their rude and goofy," as their premise, (think Hoodwinked, another fun movie) but I think the style of the Shrek world comes off in the most endearing way. Or maybe that's just nostalgia talking.

Shrek 2

I have the soundtrack of this movie embedded into my skull. I had the CD growing up and would make my mom play it in the car on the way to primary school ad nauseum. I also had the entire movie with incredibly compressed graphics on my GBA. This classic film is synonymous with my early childhood, and it holds up really well. It's shorter than I remembered, but I think that's just because it's so expertly paced.

It also introduces our favorite fearless hero, who blends effortlessly into the main cast. All of the character's play off of each other really well, actually. The gags of a royal knight planting catnip on Puss or Gingy yelling "IT'S A THONG" to get Pinocchio to lie still get me. Not to mention the perfect fight scene scored by "I Need a Hero." Every studio with rights to that song have been chasing that high ever since.

Shrek the Third

Some people hate this movie with genuine vile and malice in their hearts. Maybe that's harsh. It definitely doesn't match the highs of either of the first two, but I still enjoyed it a lot as a kid and had a good time with it now. My friend noted that the first half of this film has a lot of funny gags that peter out in the second half, where the focus is on Shrek's complicated feelings on fatherhood. There are moments in the movie where I can tell it can't decide whether to write a scene with appropriate drama or make a stupid joke, which is odd as the first one balanced those aspects pretty elegantly.

This movie does have a sequence where the classic fairytale princesses learn martial arts from Julie Andrews and kick the bark covered asses of the trees from Wizard of Oz, all to the beat of Barracuda. Disney could never. I also like that Prince Charming takes a more central role as antagonist in the story this time around, which feels very appropriate for the setting. Justin Timberlake is here too I guess. Damn, I forgot about him. Sorry Justin.

Shrek the Final Chapter

This movie came out when I believed myself toooo olllllllld and MATURE for silly animated movies with farting in them. I had grown, and was ready for stuff like *looks at movies that came out 2010* MEGAMIND, an even sillier animated movie with still probably several fart jokes. I had a bunch of reasons for disliking this one when it came out, but I don't really recall any of them. This movie is pretty wild upon revisiting. Shrek pulls a It's a Wonderful Life with Rumpelstiltskin and is pulled into an alternate universe fanfiction where he never existed, joins an Ogre resistance and tries to get his wife to fall in love with him again. It's such a goofy premise with some fairly well constructed dramatic moments. It's also very good 3D animation for its time, which might be consistent with the rest of the series.

There's a scene where Rumpelstiltskin jumps off a ledge and makes a weird noise that I cannot for the life of me find on youtube, but it sticks in my brain for some reason. He's a pretty fun villain, overall, all of his scenes made me laugh. I think we watched the other Puss in Boots movie after this, but I fell asleep. Sorry Justin.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

This franchise got reimagined with a new cast a few years ago, and for some reason became a controversial focus of American politics for several weeks. I mean not for some reason, it was really just sexism. Women? Fighting ghosts??? Only men fight ghosts in real life, everyone knows that. This movie, on the other hand, is a direct sequel to the original film and also didn't come out during an election year, so even though Girls do be Fighting Ghosts in this one, there was less outrage around it. It's a fun homage to the original, but doesn't acknowledge the original Ghostbusters 2 in the least, and that movie genuinely freaked me out as a kid with its pink slime that kills you.

The film focuses on the very autistic granddaughter of the late and famously autistic member of the original cast, Egon. She's a delightful protagonist throughout the story, working with the ghost of her grandfather to uncover the truth behind the natural disasters plaguing her Podunk town. There are also some fun new ghost designs our child heroes have to overcome. The supporting cast is serviceable, mostly focused around Finn Wolfhard and Paul Rudd's eternal struggle to get dates before the world is eaten by Gozer, or whoever. There's a lot of nostalgia bait in this movie. The OG Ghostbusters even make a Deus Ex Machina style cameo, saving Baby Egon at the last moment aside a CGI Harold Ramis that did get me to tear up a little. This whole movie was dedicated to him, which is sweet.

Kingdom Hearts: Back Cover

Remember when I said I was done talking about Kingdom Hearts for this year? No? You haven't been reading these? That's okay, I was lying anyway. As part of my full bodily integration into this series, I watched the entirety of the KH Union X Cutscenes interspersed with clips from the Back Cover movie in order of the proper timeline of events. This is probably the sanest way to experience this story. The original has you play a mobile game where you are updated on the plot every ten or so boring ass missions and then watch the movie as a companion piece. It's a pretty engaging narrative by KH standards, but its told in the most batshit way possible, which I guess is also up to KH standards. You can watch it here, if the embeds work:

The first part of this story focuses on a member of the Keyblade Guilds, who is slowly encroaching upon the reality that the organization they're apart of is tearing itself apart. All of the Guild Masters are in conflict over a potential traitor, and this suspicion eventually spirals into an entire war. The Master of these Masters, or MoM, is largely implied to have orchestrated the entire event. The second half focuses on the fallout from that war as the surviving Guild members try to escape the end of the world.

I got pretty attached to several of the characters and their ultimate fate, but I think this could have worked better as a TV show rather than a REALLY BORING MOBILE GAME. I guess you can watch it as a TV show, if you watch the video above in 30 minute chunks, and if you're okay with beautiful 3D animated cutscenes transitioning into kind of stale sprite art at random.

Alright ending this here. I didn't finish this on Friday as I had some other Things going on, so we're in for a double feature! Hopefully, I'll continue on the games list which will be out this evening. I'm writing these ahead of time so who knows???

[coraniaid]

Buffy Summers for the Character Ask Game!

Favorite thing about them

Wait, I can only pick one thing?

I guess the best thing about Buffy is that, as heavy on subtext and metaphor as the show is, she could easily feel more like a parody or an archetype than an individual.  But SMG just does such a great job of making her feel like a real person: someone who’s being increasingly worn down by all of the obstacles life throws at her, but who keeps fighting anyway because the alternatives are worse.  Whether that means dying to save her friends, or giving up any semblance of a normal life, or running a sword through her boyfriend’s heart.  

That’s why I like Prophecy Girl so much, I think. Buffy doesn’t just face the prospect of her death with an irreverent quip or a funny one-liner: she seems genuinely, heartbreakingly terrified by it.  And then she goes to fight the Master anyway, because nobody else can do it.  (And then she pulls out the funny one-liner.)

On the surface it feels a bit silly that, over the course of the show, quite so many different people fall madly in love with her within minutes of meeting her, but on the other hand … no, I get it.

Least favorite thing about them

Least favorite thing about Buffy as a person?  Well, I have some sympathy for Living Conditions' Kathy -- soul stealing and Cher aside -- because I do think Buffy would probably be a terrible roommate.  (Even if she wasn't sneaking out every night to fight vampires.)

Least favorite thing about how Buffy is written?  I hate the retcon that was established in Normal Again around when exactly Buffy first told her mother about being a Slayer and I refuse to take it seriously.  

Favorite line

"You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice."

brOTP

Willow.

That said, I do think it's slightly implausible just how quickly they become such close friends (and the way Willow talks about their friendship in later seasons sometimes makes me wonder if the writers forgot Buffy only met Willow for the first time when she was sixteen).

The show implies (via Cordelia's role as Buffy's shadow self) that this is because although Buffy was superficially popular in her old school in LA the people she was surrounded by didn't know the real her, which ... okay, I guess it would take me a bit off topic to discuss that much further, but suffice to say it feels a little off to me.

(Though it is kind of amusing that, although Buffy is meant to have been the popular one in her old high school and Willow the social outcast, Buffy has -- by my reckoning -- a total of zero platonic friends she didn't meet directly or indirectly through Willow.  I mean, there's Willow's childhood friend, Willow's high school boyfriend, Willow's girlfriend ... I guess maybe you could count Cordelia, who she does know independently of Willow, but I think the show is very inconsistent about whether they are friends at all.)

OTP

You know, I don't really have any strong feelings either way about ... no, wait, hang on, that's a lie.

(The thing is that, as far as I can remember, I really didn't have any opinions about this until my lockdown-inspired rewatch of the show.)

But yeah, it's Faith.

nOTP

Not really a fan of Riley (more specifically, not a fan of the S6 reimagination of Riley as the One That Got Away).  Wish the show had leaned a bit harder into just how odd Riley could be (for example: how enthusiastically he brings up the idea of locking the duplicate Xanders in separate rooms and experimenting on them in The Replacement), because that honestly makes me like him (and his relationship with fellow weirdo Buffy) a lot more.

Also, it's always struck me as slightly odd that Riley is so similar to Angel.  I mean, narratively he's meant to have been the 'normal' boyfriend that Angel couldn't be, and the show has Buffy herself compare them and conclude that they're very different,  and yet he's ... a suspiciously older man whose relationship with Buffy starts and ends with lies and secrets, who has enhanced strength allowing him to fight alongside her on patrol and who has mysterious links to the Big Bad of the season he appears in.  That doesn't exactly feel like a radical departure from Angel to me.

Random headcanon

Think I'm borrowing this from somebody on tumblr, but I really like the idea that Buffy goes back to college after the show ends and actually gets her degree.

(Still not read the comics, but the notion that Buffy heads off to live in a castle with all the other Slayers and continues to have epic world-saving adventures instead of having something approaching a normal life just seems so antithetical to what Chosen was about.)

Unpopular opinion

Not really sure what counts as unpopular.  I have very carefully curated my internet bubble so that I almost never see incorrect opinions about Buffy.

(Except when I post them.)

Song I associate with them

"So Tired" by Slowdive (specifically late S5 or mid S6 Buffy).

Favorite picture of them

I'm generally not hugely persuaded by readings of Buffy (the show) as being particularly left-wing, as opposed to just generically suspicious of adult authority. (Which I think a show about a teenage superhero pretty much has to be if you want there to be a plot).  If anything, I'd say that -- like other superhero fiction -- the idea that there's a secret handful of Chosen Ones with a Destiny who are just inherently better equipped at solving the world's problems than anybody else is quite the opposite of left-wing.

But then there's this:

That's a nice hammer and weapon-that-looks-a-lot-like-a-sickle you're holding there, Miss Summers.  And you're fighting to liberate the workers in an industrial-looking sweatshop, huh.  Interesting.

[kanohivolitakk]

Have you done Krekka for the ask game? I know you're a huge Nidhiki fan, curious if you have any thoughts on his partner?

I haven't gotten Krekka yet actually. So far I only done Toa Ignika and Axonn for the Bionicle ask game (which Im still accepting). That being said great choice. Krekka isn't necessarily a big favorite of mine (partially because I'm not that fond of the "dumb brute" archetype barring a few exceptions), but I have to admit I do have a soft spot for the big guy. Krekka is a relatively simple character when it comes to characterization/backstory/role in the story (especially when compared to Nidhiki), but that doesn't mean I don't have any "deeper" thoughts regarding him or that there isnt stuff worth discussing.

Anyways some thoughts/headcanons/general musings:

This is a weird thing to start with but... Krekka is kinda adorable for me. I think its kinda this ...overgrown puppy (bulldog??) vibe due to his loyalty and dumbness. I admit BOADH is a big reason for me feeling this way since it gave him a few moments that made me go "AWWW he's so cute". Just..love his loyalty so much.

His undying loyalty makes him stand out for me across the other dark hunters. While many dark hunters we ha e are opportunistic and schemy, Krekka is just...very loyal. Maybe too much so. But I love that he is loyal. Feels refreshing tbh.

And now I cant help but feel that TSO is just "guys stupid but at least he wont double cross me and is easy to keep in check" when it comes to him.

Not to go woobifying villains but I genuinely dont think the guys that bad. Hes just really stupid, overly loyal and doing his job. Its kinda like w Lariska being a decent person despite being a knife happy murder girl although to a much lesser extent since guys a literalminded fool and also just smashy boy.

I do like his backstory of being a former guard who lost his job and started wreck havoc until one day a dark hunter found and hired him. It isnt anything too complex but it works well for his character and explains why he is so loyal to Dark Hunters. It also helps bringing a bit more light to his homeland and I love when we get more info of places through character backstories, makes the world feel more real that way.

Also can Gorast please stop hurting charaxters I like. This is the reason shes my least favorite character in the 2001-2008 storyline that isnt just a glorified extra or a plot device.

When it comes to Krekka, one scene I always think of when I think of him is in BOADH where he temporarily forgot to fly and Nidhiki was just "WAIT A MOMENT LARISKA TOLD ME YOU CAN FLY????" and Krekka just goes "whoops I forgot". That was adorable honestly. You dumb idiot, forgot you could fly.

Also, I know he's kinda "the idiot character", and while I am NOT saying he isn't, I do think its worth pointing out that he's basically literal minded. In BOADH (again) when Nidhiki tried to do that training scenario Krekka basically was like "wait I’m here, there’s nothing there why should I move there". This is

Another thing I really like about Krekka is that how, despite being an absolute idiot and tool, he still is willing to sometimes not take Nidhikis bullshit, see preventing him from getting the Zamor launchers (geez BOADH did a lot for this guys characterization lmao)

I sometimes call him truck boy because his name is one letter off my languages word for truck.

Also unless canon/word of Greg says otherwise I don't think every member of his species is as stupid as him. Like possibly on similar level but still.

It is made pretty clear that Nidhiki couldn't stand Krekka at all, but I do genuinely wonder how Krekka feels about Nidhiki. Based on the little we have I'd say he liked him to some extent or at the very least, didn't hate him to the same degree. I also have to wonder how aware he was about Nidhikis haterd towards him.

I also love the idea that when Nidhiki was mutated, Krekka just...wasnt afraid of him at slightest, no fear in this dumb boy. (I also like the idea he didnt recognize him at first and Nidhiki just, had to explain to his thick skull who he was. It took a while but eventually he got it.)

On a related note, I find it interesting how the LOMN website describes him working with Nidhiki because guy knows where to get the good jobs or something rather than being his goverment (read TSO) assigned partner The way the twos relationship were described makes it feel that by this point the staff hadnt figured out what they wanted to do with Dark Hunters , or if it even was an organization or just these two tools.

Its really interesting for me how Krekkas characterization not only varies between the books/comics (where hes more intimidating and him being a simpleton isnt as pronounced) and the movie (where hes more of a dumbass) but also how his characterization evolved. Like, his loyalty wasn't that pronounced trait but now I feel its just as important part of him as him being a dumbass (which is to say, very interesting)

I remember how the aftoermentoined Metru Nui movie website described that Krekka hated toa to the point wouldve hunted them for free if Nidhiki didnt make sure the two would get paid. I feel this is somewhat early installment weirdness as it isnt mentioned anywhere else but at the same time Krekka being willing to fight without payment sounds 1000% in character if you ask me

Something I have been confused over: when exactly was Krekka recruited to the dark hunters??? The timeline is very vague about this and I wish we knew.

It's been AGES since I watched my home countrys dub of LOMN but what I recall I really liked Krekka's voice in that dub. He sounded more badass and I loved it, the VA had a pretty unique sound. Sadly dont think there is any clips of the LOMN dub, which is a shame. UPDATE: I rewatched the dub and I love the voice itself but felt the voice direction made him sound kinda inconsistent

This is more a "Nidhiki and Krekka related thought" rather than just Krekka related but one thing I really like about Krekka and Nidhiki is that how they are like a more serious and competent take of "those two evil henchmen with contrasting personalities" trope. Often these types of villains are rather goofy, but these two could be rather dangerous as well and I really like that. I also like their dynamic of just doing Nidhiki being done with Krekkas bullshit. One of the main reasons I wish LOMN was a miniseries rather than a movie is because I really wanted more screentime with the two.

On a related note can I JUST SAY I LOVE the way the two compliment/pararell each other. From design (Krekka being bulky mostly blue colored, Nidhiki being slender and monstrous, mostly green colored) to personality (Krekka being foolish and simpleminded but loyal Nidhiki being cunning and ambitious but treacherous) to powersets (Krekka being strong physical attacker, Nidhiki being weaker(??) but faster and more special attacker).Heck, even their backstories have similarities as they both lost their orginal purpose in one way or another and didnt have anywhere to go but Dark Hunters (the main difference being that Nidhiki inflicted his fate upon himself by betraying the toa while Krekka didnt really do anything iirc)

Now for something crossovery, Krekkas and Nidhikis dynamic reminds me a lot of Kronk and Yzma from Emperors New Groove. Yes I have drawn a parody of the "pull the lever kronk" meme, yes I intend to make more screencap redraws. They also remind me a lot of Mummymon and Archenemon from Digimon 02, partially due to the dynamic (smug spider that tries to be cunning and intimidating but gets outclassed by most other villains in that + loyal blue dumb boy) partially due to their ultimate fate being rather similar.

I don't know how familiar you are with the franchise, but Krekka reminds me a fair bit of Gamel, one of the four villain generals in Kamen Rider OOOs, mainly because "the dumb brute major villain that's kinda cuteish and loyal a f while everyone else is an asshole".

I remember reading a p good oneshot fic that was just him accidentally killing a civilian when all he wanted was a hug and...honestly that is p much what I imagine him being like. Guy may be strong, reckless and a fool but like I said I dont think hes all that bad and just a puppy. An overgrown, moronic puppy but a puppy nontheless

For AUs, I remember I have thought once of "What if Krekka survived but Nidhiki died" and just ...guy wouldve been very lost and confused and unsure what to do tbh. He would most likely returned to Dark Hunters but Mata Nui knows how say TSO wouldve felt about that. Its not too complex au yet but I am thinking of developing it further one day.

Thank you for asking.

Sorry this took longer than expected. I had too many thoughts and half of them were deleted so. I hope its worth the wait tho. I do have a lot of Krekka thoughts and tbh wasnt sure if I was even able to get them all here.

(I am still doing the ask game so if anyone wants to send me a bonkle I will try to give thoughts, meta and headcanons on them)

[earbuds-and-hightops]

An Open Letter to Supernatural

[ Spoiler warning for 15x20, obviously ]

I understand that a well-contemplated complaint about this ending cannot be made without first reading the original, pre-COVID, script of 15x20, but in the long run, the initial plan is not what will be remembered. 

What will be remembered is what this show created. What it became beyond two brothers driving around the country, hunting monsters. Characters were introduced and developed, and in that, Sam and Dean Winchester become so much more than two kids living on the road. In the past 15 years, the cast, and thus the family, grew to something that would be unimaginable to those who started this project back in 2005. Not only did the characters and their stories become meaningful, but the show itself grew into, well, a family. The fans who have kept this show alive since Day 1 have come together to form what I believe is the greatest community in pop culture. 

What hurts the most is that this finale did not do any of that development justice. 

The finale (and consequently the episodes leading up to it) reverts back to the story between only Sam and Dean. While some see this as an ode to who they are--their brotherhood and familial bond being the heart of their values and the root of their characters--I cannot help but see this as a rejection of their experiences this past decade and a half. 

What’s worse, episode 15x18 confirmed one of the most pure and powerful and goddamn beautiful romances that television will ever see. This story of an angel who abandoned his family and the only beings he’s known for thousands of years, all for one person. I knew from the instant the screen faded to black on November 5 that the story of Castiel will always be remembered, even if his feelings were unrequited. Castiel will always be remembered. 

And then there’s Destiel. I was genuinely impressed that this show would even grow to include a queer angel, more importantly, a queer character in a leading role. The queer-baiting and the “bury your gays” trope both make this confession and its lack of acknowledgement that much worse (and is worthy of an entirely separate open letter for another night). It matters less if Dean does or doesn’t reciprocate these feelings and more that it’s wrong that he completely ignores it. Cas’s love confession, this beautifully tragic and tragically beautiful emotion coming from a being who wasn’t supposed to feel emotions at all, is something that, unfortunately, will become a secret that dies with Dean Winchester. 

It’s truly a shame that the writers of this show let that happen. 

We haven’t even touched the fact that Castiel’s death was an act of sacrifice to save Dean. Dean’s limited reaction and lack of mourning* tears apart this phrase that has become pivotal to the entire show and fanbase: “Family don’t end in blood.” While it would be a lot to ask that Dean rescue Cas from the Empty and resume their cycle of rescue and resurrection, I think it’s only fair that Dean take the time to fully accept Castiel’s actions and words for what they mean instead of simply moving forward as if they never happened.

What’s more, Misha Collins is one of the greatest and kindest people in this world, and he’s poured his heart and soul into Supernatural, just like everybody else. He’s spent 12 years on this project, and the final two episodes hardly mentioned his character. He didn’t deserve this. It’s heartbreaking that his last credit on this show will be a prank call from someone trying to impersonate him, and not something that pays tribute to such an important character and important actor**

The most devastating part of this ending is what happened in 15x19. Pardon my French when I say that that episode, the ultimate climax of the season and latter half of the series, was a piece of dog shit. It’s incredibly frustrating to invest in 15 years worth of television and look forward to this ultimate battle between two average boys and God the Almighty Himself and to instead watch a 6-minute long fist fight on the beach with the only dialogue being variations of “seriously guys, stay down.” 

My issues with 15x19 lie less in the storyline that was chosen and more in how they were presented. I am completely on board with Jack taking God’s power and eventually becoming the new God, but the episode was far too quick to have any real meaning, and, as stated before, Castiel’s sacrifice, which allows Sam, Dean, and Jack to do what they do in 15x19, is hardly mentioned.

Most fans agree that 15x19 was far too quickly paced. The plot with Michael and Lucifer was questionable to begin with, but should have been an episode on its own if it were to be perused at all. Michael’s story in particular could have been fleshed out to reiterate this theme of overly loyal sons and their fathers, as well as their relationships with less loyal siblings, but was instead reduced to about 20 minutes of screen time. 

Though this is less important, Lucifer’s plan to make a new Death felt like a cheap cop-out just to close the storyline with Death’s book, but we can finish that discussion another day. 

The general fan reaction to this atrocity of an episode was that this was meta, and according to Becky, the ending was supposed to be dog shit. This, along with the untouched storyline started when Cas died, gave fans so much hope that the finale would be this amazing piece of art that puts Supernatural in the history books. 

While it’s obvious that an hour cannot perfectly tie up every single event and arc with a pretty little bow, it can at least...try. Any finale should, at minimum, pay tribute to what the show started as (which 15x20 did well) and what it became (which 15x20 failed to do miserably). 

In addition, a reference to character back in season 1 is incredibly frustrating when recurring characters with actual, well, character go unnoticed. I mostly reference Eileen here, but this also applies to Jody and Donna. Nobody even mentions the other wonderful friends who have helped Sam and Dean along their journey to Heaven. If family doesn’t end in blood, then why doesn’t it extend to include Castiel, Jack, Mary, Rowena, Charlie, Kevin, Jody and her girls, Donna, and so many others?

Dean’s death was sad, I’ll give them that (and honestly, I was expecting it). However, considering that this man has defeated apocalypses, killed Death, and taken down God, his death via nail in the wall was incredibly anticlimactic, and something that could literally have happened at any point over the 15 seasons. While Dean’s death was obviously not my ideal ending, I think it could have worked if it were done properly, and in this case, it was not. That said, I do appreciate that Sam did not try to bring Dean back, as that would indicate literally no growth at all.

Dean’s funeral was...pathetic, to say the least. Sam being the only person there was depressing considering that Dean had lots of other close friends (and you’d think that Jack would pay his respects, but apparently not), however, this is likely a scene that was impacted by COVID and the availability of some of the cast, so I will not dwell on that scene.

Dean’s time in Heaven complicates matters even more. Firstly, Bobby confirms that Castiel is no longer in the Empty and has been in contact with Jack. I would have loved to see this reunion; Cas is essentially Jack’s father, and I would have loved to see how their upgrading/remodeling of Heaven brought them closer together. I understand that the writers were trying to focus this finale story on the brothers, this goes back to my earlier point that you cannot simply ignore everything that that this show has grown to include. Bobby’s explanation also begs the question of why Dean had no intention of seeing Cas (or Jack, for that matter) again now that he has the opportunity.

Secondly, Dean’s instinct to go directly for the Impala was very in-character, however, the editing implied that driving was all Dean did until Sam died. As we know, Sam dies of old age, likely (completely guessing here) upwards of 40-50 years from Dean’s death, and that is a very, very long time for Dean to simply driving around the mountains. It would have been nice to see Dean reunite with other family and friends who are also in Heaven, however, again, COVID restraints.

Sam’s ending was similar to what I and a lot of other fans imagined (not necessarily wanted, but predicted) it to be: kids and a wife, living a normal, monster-free, life. I hate to believe that he doesn’t end up with Eileen (to my recollection, his wife was a blur in the background, and it is unclear if she was meant to be Eileen) however that might just be my bias and appreciation of Shoshannah Stern. While I’m glad that this storyline gave Sam the room to grow and develop without his brother, it also completely ignores everything that he’s been through this past decade and a half, and that is something that should not happen. Sam grew and changed so much since he left Stanford and leaving that life, the life of a hunter, behind feels very counterintuitive.

Let’s not even discuss the wig that Jared wore. It reminded me of the Cain wig that Rob wore in the Hillywood parody.

What shocked me the most at the beginning of this episode was the lack of a “The Road So Far” compilation. I hoped for the full song with a recap of all 15 seasons, or, at minimum, the typical single-season recap. “Carry On My Wayward Son” is such an important part of the show and the culture of the fan base, that it seems almost sacrilegious that the season finale not begin with this song and a memorial to the events in the past season (or series).*** I’m very happy that it was included at all, but I was shocked when Neoni’s cover took over.

No disrespect to Neoni; those girls are incredibly talented and I love their music, however, a series finale of a 15 season long show does not feel like the place for a cover when they already have the rights to the original, and the original is so iconic.

Lastly, I want to acknowledge Jensen Ackles’s reaction to this conclusion. At a con panel about a year ago, he said that he needed to be talked into agreeing to this script by Erik Kripke himself, because the ending just wasn’t sitting right with him. So many fans took this to believe that he was homophobic and afraid that of Destiel becoming fully canon, and he got so much more hate than he deserved, because ultimately, he was right in his first opinion. This isn’t the way this story should have ended. Jensen explained that he had been “too close” to the story, and that it took a more holistic view from a step backwards (the audience’s perspective, as he puts it) to agree on this ending, but honestly, nobody knows Dean Winchester better than Jensen, and he knows what’s best and what would be the best way to finish this character’s arc. I think fans and Jensen alike agree that this wasn’t it.

I sympathize with all of the cast and crew members who disagree with how this show ended but are bounded by contract to support this show no matter what. Especially Misha and Jensen.

Over all, I believe that Supernatural will go down in history (in internet communities, at least) as one of the greatest shows ever. While I do agree that the writing quality in terms of both dialogue and plot declined as years passed, the community, the family, that this show created cannot be ignored because of a poorly written/planned ending. I think that the fandom will collectively let go of this disaster of an ending that we were given and will, just like Sam and Dean, write our own stories. I have full faith and confidence that Supernatural will not be represented by this finale episode, but by the beautiful stories, amazing characters, and the family that this show created and what the fans have chosen to do with it.

Sincerely,

A Fiercely Frustrated but Fiercely Loyal Fan

* I do not count that last clip of Dean crying on the floor as mourning. In my mind, that was a reaction, not an emotional healing and overcoming, if that makes sense. I argue that if Dean were to fully mourn and process everything (like Sam did in 15x20) we would have seen at least a bit of that on screen. 

** This is where I would have loved to see some of the original scripts. I hope that the writers initial intentions were to have Misha more involved in these last two episodes than what was likely a voice memo created in 10 minutes tops at Misha’s house.

*** The strange montage at the end of 15x19 makes so much more sense. I still would have preferred that montage at the beginning of 15x20. This also shines light on the video that Misha posted. What would we do without him :)

[weaselbeaselpants]

All you need to know about my sucky rewrite

Since the actual show’s getting greenlit here’s my sooperoriginal ideas of my reboot/rewrite/reimagine thing called “Happy hotELL”

The cast of “Happy hoteLL” are renamed versions of the Hazbin cast:

Charly, Vee (she’s nick-named “Vaggy” by Engel) Engel, Niftie, Hux, Alastair, Lord Satan and Lilian, Flim-Flam and JibJab, Karen Killjoy, Sir Pantsless.

The main villains would be human!archangels based on Estus Pirkle and Kirk Cameron.

The main demons under Charly all embody a deadly sin in how they ended up in hell: Engel = Wrath (hated himself and other people), Niftie = Envy (tormented people at school in order to impress a boy), Hux = Lust (stalked/objectified various women in his life), Vee = Pride (too proud to admit she made bad choices), and Alastar = Gluttony (for reasons already discussed here).

Setting

The “afterworld”, the setting our characters inhabit, is separated into three sections: HEAVEN which is where the Archangels rule and were “good” souls go; HELL, which is the main setting of the show and where the archangels swoop down to purge of all the “bad” souls that end up there; and LIMBO, a primordial pocket-dimension with no direct portal to through the other two worlds. Limbo turns out to be the place the archangels, the true rulers of Heaven, are hiding. The mortal or ‘human’ world is between Heaven and Hell and is accessed by similar means to how it is in Helluva Boss. 

Angels and demons which were never human are referred to as ARCHANGELS/OVERLORDS and CHERUBS/IMPS. Ascended/damned souls are those of people who’ve ended up in either Heaven or Hell.

Heaven and Hell both have class systems. Imps and Overlords and Cherubs and Archangels are SUPPOSED to rule over all the human souls in their care. But Heaven’s archangels have gone missing - abandoned their posts for the peaceful content of limbo - leaving human angels to rise up and over time dictate how Heaven is to be run and who gets redeemed....this is as bad as you think it is, as the human!archangels care only for their “purity” over everyone else and keep people who should be allowed into heaven out just for not being to their standards - like Vee. The Overlords of Hell are unaware of this and have been unknowingly doing the human!angels’ business for hundreds of years. 

>The implication that this system for disposing of evil souls has failed is made well before the second season twist because damned human souls (Alastair) have become overlords and exist in Hell without being purged as an open secret, even to Charly’s parents. The only reason the true Overlords oppose any of the human!Overlords’ reign is because it disrupts their order in Hell, not out of any sense of justice.

There is NO monotheistic deity in this world; angels and demons used to live in “pantheons”, aka tribes, across the earth where they created life and the ecosystems there as well - thusly, they became gods to the people of these regions too. Satan and Lilian are from what would come to be the Abrahamic angels. In time, other mythologies’ underworld counterparts - and even some benevolent gods - would have the power diminish on earth and they’d have to live in Hell if they didn’t want to be wiped out by the crusades the Archangel’s influence over humans. Understandably, a lot of non-Abrahamic angels and demons are NOT fond of this appropriation/erasure of their culture and want their own realm’s back, even trying to run their own redemption operation/afterlife control in secret or in limbo. (Imagine Charly meeting a Vivziepoped versions of Hades and Persephone or Oxhead and Horseface telling her to fuck off and her just being like “I KNEW someone had the same idea! I JUST KNEW IT! <3<3<3″)

ALL mortal souls are supposed to be sent to hell but a great many of them are KEPT from heaven because of the human!archangels. 

A demon is redeemed by either setting right a wrong they did in life or sacrificing their happiness for another. This is what happens to Vee at the end of the first season, which leaves Charly without a manager through season 2.

Satan’s backstory is a parody of Paradise Lost as he was the most beautiful angel in his pantheon before the others kicked him out. In revenge he took Lilian, their “first woman”, for his wife and rallied up an army which apparently ended with one mass-extinction event on earth.

There’s a section of Hell where demons who represent different vices/drugs live. It’s referred as “Viceland” and is treated like a kitty theme park.

Demons (overlord, imp, or damned-souls) can all be summoned by mortals who know their way with unholy magic. They’re summoned at really inconvenient times and for really worthless deeds and this would be a great source of comedy for the show and an excuse to get characters to the mortal realm.

Story

The first episode/pilot/episodes/minimovie/whatever would be basically the same as the pilot but with a few tweaks:

It shows a person dying, going to Hell, becoming a demon, and being purged (which the audience not quite knowing what just happened to him) with Engel happily takes the dead demon’s things once the dust clears. Then Charly and Vee’s limo pulls up to him and ask him if he’s interested in a “new gig”. Que title and credits.

Charly initially opens the hotel with the promise that it will be a place for vice and booze but lets it slip that it’s a front for rehabilitation. Once Engel’s story is picked up on by the network, Vee and Charly’s assistants (Flimflam and JibJab) attack Karen and destroy the news station.

It’s Engel - not Vee - who recognizes Alastair as the threat that he is - later it’s revealed that Engel was present during Alastair’s initial takeover and that his radio frequencies damaged Engel’s eye. Vee doesn’t believe him until she sees Alastair’s absorbtion powers, which is when she allows him to stay employed by the hotel to help take Alastair down.

Alastair stresses the need for Charly to keep him working with her a secret, ESPECIALLY from her parents. He’s technically a criminal in hell and he convinces Charly that her parents will be impressed with her bad deed once the jig is up.

The rest of Season 1 would probably be Alastair setting up the hotel while the main cast of demons become more aquainted with each other and the different levels of Hell.The end of season 1 would feature Alastair double-crossing Charly and consuming the hotel in his likeness while it’s hosting a demon’s ball - in the hopes of getting enough souls to reignite his takeover. Vee, Engel, and Charly manage to escape the hotel and Charly overpowers and defeats Al by destroying his microphone - thus releasing all the souls he’s trapped, and then destroys his physical form.

Season 2 would start with a face reveal of Satan, Charly’s father, as he forces her to eat Alastair’s heart which will put him under her control. She does, but Alastair’s conscience manifests inside Charly’s head and mocks her ideas throughout the season. Also in the opening Vee would become and angel and ascends for Heaven, leaving Charly to manage the now very popular hotel alone until Engel rises up to become her #2.

Season 2 would be more explorative, with more stuff featuring the demon’s lives as humans, Charly’s role in Hell, and even Vee in Heaven. We’d learn more about the way Hell, Heaven and Limbo work as Charly manages to redeem a couple more damned souls. At the end of the season, the demons discover a dead cherub with a message from Vee begging Charly for help. Charly first attempts to pass through the hidden realm of Limbo to get to Heaven, but Hux runs off with their means to get there, so instead she vomits up Alastair, the only other demon who knows how to get to heaven, and he assists them on the condition that he be granted amnesty once they return to Hell. In the end, Charly and co. discover Heaven’s corrupted state and realize the Archangels are missing, Vee looses her wings but ascends into a fallenangel, and they all escape the bloodthirsty angels due to Lilian’s interference.

The Overlords of Hell prepare for a new war with Heaven and Charly’s parents send her to the mortal realm for her protection. In the mortal realm, Charly and the demons disguise themselves and their base of operation as a bed and breakfast. Charly has trouble reeling in the overexcited demons who are out of place in this new time while also keeping Alastair, who has stashed away with her, from trapping souls. 

Halfway through season 3 Engel and the other motel staff find out Alastair’s human identity, which he was desperate to hide, and bring his now elderly human daughter to him. This causes Alastair to freak out and consume the bed and breakfast. Once Charly brings him to, his physical takes on that of a baby deer but his psyche and abilities are completely nulled.

While this is going on Vee, Hux, and Charly’s parents have their own adventures in Limbo where they meet the Archangels who have no idea how corrupt Heaven has gotten in their absence. It’s only through Hux and Vee that the main group is finally all reuninted in Hell where the finale takes place :

Engel and Niftie ascend into fallenangels and alongside Vee lead a brigade against the angels who now want to wipe out all the demons; Charly guilt trips her parents and the Archangels into taking action and combining their power to dismantle the angel’s weapons; Alastair comes back and personally takes out the main human!archangel and himself by throwing them into the center of Hell; big stupid happy lesbian ending fartjoke.

end

Characters

Charly’s relationship dynamic to her parents is flipped: her father, Satan (he doesn’t like being called Lucifer) LOVES her. He shares a lot of her personality and at worst doesn’t take Charly seriously or cares about her ambitions. Lilian, Charly’s mother resents her daughter. Lilian was hoping her daughter would bring forth the apocalypse but Charly doesn’t want to do that. It’s implied Charly’s optimism and need to help people comes from her father’s days as an Archangel, and her mother especially hates the angels for casting her out, which leads to her resenting Charly.

This doesn’t stop Satan from being genuinely impressed with his daughter’s achievements and for Lilian to be be the panicked-parent when she learns that Charly has broken into Heaven at the end of season 2. 

The Royal Family is not actively malicious. They’re more like privileged jailers on the top of the Hell-foodchain. The most evil things about them are their apathy towards human atrocities (and their subjects pain, of course), their occasional bouts of sadism, and their genuine glee at the thought of destruction - namely the apocalypse, which Satan and Lilian speak fondly about like a married couple would their retirement plans.

After Charly shows her true form while taking out Alastair, the other Overlords and Imps (i.g. Karen and 666 News) start heaping praise on her out of fear that she’ll retaliate for all the mockery they made of her when she unveiled her plan. Charly is uncomfortable with this.

Engel is BAD at his pornstar/sexworker career. He tries to sell himself as a sass-master incubus but can’t achieve this status in the demon hierarchy because of his short fuse and violent nature.

Engel thinks he’s in hell because he’s gay and likes crossdressing. In reality it’s because he was a member of a crime family and a murderous gangster, named Anatole Slinkoff. The first people he killed were his father and brother as he was assisting a young-up-and-coming rival who would eventually become his boss.

Speaking of that boss, Anatole fell in love with him. On Anatole’s birthday he and the boss got drunk and he ended up confessing his feelings. The boss invited a sobered up Anatole back to his flat the following week and seemed to return his affections with a kiss...which was then followed by a fatal stabbing. Engel never got over the heartbreak/betrayal.

Engel starts off as a toxic enabling jackass who lives in denial and uses sex and drugs to cope with how unhappy he is with himself. In season 2 he becomes Charly’s #2 and builds a strong friendship with her. Also in season 2 Engel meets his father, brother, and mother who are also in hell for their crimes. His father and bro amazingly forgive him for killing them while Engel’s mother - a god-fearing woman who would beat Engel if she found him wears makeup or playing with dolls as a child - asks him for forgiveness, saying she’s the reason her family and he specifically ended up where he did. After Engel patches things up with them he tries to locate the souls of the people he killed and in the process finds out his old boss went to Heaven. At first Engel sets out to kill his boss and get revenge, but upon actually finding him living in fear in Limbo, he can’t bring himself to do so and instead chooses to just not forgive him.

Engel ascends/becomes a fallenangel in the final season when he meets an imp with a similar taste of humor and style. Rather than rush into a relationship as he’s done with every person he’s got with since he ended up in hell, Engel tells his new lover he wants to wait until he’s stable for a relationship, which triggers his transformation.

Molly doesn’t exist. Molly is instead the name of Engel’s feminine alterego and later the name Engel takes up as a fallenangel.

Vee, like Engel, also thinks she’s in hell for all the wrong reasons: She ran away from her controlling parents, thinking she could live on her own just fine. She could not. Instead she wound up turning to a life of crime and prostitution to support herself after a plethora of bad decisions and heartbreaks. When her parents sent word out all over the country, begging her to come back and that they were wrong, but she still refused. In the end one of her clients ended up strangling her. Her soul SHOULD have been one that went to Heaven but was barred off by the human!archangels for being a “thug”. Vee tried to get herself purged after her first few months in Hell, convinced that she deserved it, but Charly saved her and the blast instead only took out one of her eyes. Vee and her story are Charly’s main inspiration to open up the hotel.

Vee and Charly obviously have a romantic relationship from the start but Vee doesn’t see their love as anything serious. When Vee becomes an angel at the end of season 1/beginning of season 2, she rather cruelly leaves Charly without a second thought and discards their relationship is ‘passing sin’. It isn’t until she spends more time in Heaven, seeing the other angels’ being restricted (including her parents, who admit to actually being miserable in Heaven) and finding her rejection notice from the human!archangels that Vee realizes she does love Charly and that her redemption was always HER doing, not someone else’s.

Vee makes the unwise decision to confront the Archangels (whom she doesn’t know are actually human souls) about this treatment. They respond by locking Vee away and performing a “purification” on her which is like electroshock therapy. This sedates Vee into a mindless drone, much to the horror of the cherubs, angels, and eventually Charly and the gang.

Vee, in her purified state, doesn’t want to leave Heaven and go back to Hell. Charly, realizing the woman she loves is gone, tearfully tells her she won’t ask Vee to be anything she doesn’t want to be and that she loves her. This confession breaks through to the real Vee. Their happy reunion is cut short however by the human!archangels who rip off Vee’s wings, causing her and Charly to fall. It’s here though that Vee again ascends, this time into a fallenangel, and grows her own pair of wings and an angels’ weapon which she uses to kill Perkins, the head archangel and save the rest of the cast.

Throughout season 3, Vee and Charly’s parents turn the Happy Hotel into a refuge for human souls and imps while the angels and demons prepare for new spiritual warfare. Vee also tracks down Hux and multiple other “lost souls” in Limbo in her search for the Archangels.

Vee commands Hell’s army alongside Molly and Niftie in the show’s final climax and she gets a happy ending running a shanty motel in Limbo alongside Charly.

In life, Niftie was a teenager who tried to grow up too fast and gave up her hobbies and interests to impress her childhood friend (whom she was in love with). By following the lead of a more popular classmate, Niftie became a bully who ruled her school’s social status. Then she learned that her “teacher” had been in love with the same guy and he was returning her feelings - which drove Niftie into a rage and she tried killing the both of them on their senior prom night. She tried running them over with her car, putting the girl in the hospital, paralyzing the boy forever, and ruining her reputation at school (for saying she couldn’t drive when she did; not for the attempted murder). The boy she loved hated her, and the rest of the school bullied her until she gave in and took her own life in the bathroom.

The other demons are especially sympathetic towards Nifty. Charly finds it horrible that she end up in hell at such a young age. Hux is very protective of her. However, Niftie is more self-aware than she appears; she acts more childish than she actually is because she wishes she was still a kid, but does NOT like being treated like a literal child - especially by Charly and Engel. She only warms up to Charly when Hux abandons her and she’s forced to be an authority figure under Engel while the group stages things out in the mortal realm.

In the mortal realm, Niftie ends up coming across her old hishschool friend, now an old woman in a wheelchair, who believes it’s her fault everything ended the way it did. Niftie tells the lady not to feel guilty and instead apologizes to her - which ignites Niftie’s ascension into a fallenangel.

Hux was a moderately successful show magician. Heartbroken by being unable to woo a woman he loved with his success, he turned to drinking and took up relationships with women who worked under him  - all of these relationships were toxic and Hux would break their hearts and ruin their lives. When Hux arrived in Hell it was during a purge. He found his original sweetheart there but she, not him, was purged, cementing Hux’s views of redemption and justice...that there is NONE.

Hux is mostly apathetic and disbelieves along with everyone else in Charly’s plan UNTIL he finds out that one of the women he hurt escaped into Limbo. When the main cast tried to use their one passage to Limbo to get to Heaven in season 2, Hux takes the pass for himself.

In Season 3, Vee finds Hux enjoying his time in Limbo and calls him out for his selfishness. Hux introduces her to all the women he wronged, who DON’T forgive him, and also his new business in Limbo selling drinks that make people recall their past lives.

Together with Vee, Hux thinks up a plan to have the overcrowded souls of Hell and Heaven wait out the war in Limbo while simultaneously kicking out the Archangels so that they won’t notice the influx of souls in their realm.

Sir Pantsless is the show’s biggest buttmonkey and is constantly abused. He’s a tiny demon trying to ride off other Overlord’s success and who’s design is a wimpy, trying-to-hard version of Charly’s dad. In life, Sir Pantsless was a Victorian-era businessman who lived a long, happy life of abusing child-workers in factories and getting away with all his evil deeds. Charly’s dad even admits to keeping him out of the purge purposefully because he finds Pantsless’ pain amusing.

Themes and other stuff worth noting

If there’s a lesson I guess I’d try to push with the ending of this rewrite it would be, ironically, that neither Heaven nor Hell hold your true morality. It’s on you for making mistakes; it’s up to you to overcome them - you literally have to go through hell - to fix them! It also shouldn’t be up to Heaven and Hell how punishment/enlightenment works or why it’s worth anything.

This is NOT supposed to be an antireligion/antiChristian story. Not at ALL. It’s anti absolutism and anti religiousSUPREMACY story.  I know then that people will probably not want me basing this version of Heaven off Evangelicals, but like Viv, that’s the religion that closest for me to criticize. If I were Jewish or Hindu or Muslim I would so be about tearing their hypocrisies down....but I’m not. I know all about the injustices in those religions but I’m not comfortable tearing them a new one as a white Christian. My mother’s fam are recovering Christian Science-folk. Also, have you watched anything about Left Behind? It’s genuinely an eye opening experience when it comes to Americanized Christianity and even the lore of Hell and Demons in regards to the book of revelations.

Lotsa references to The Divine Comedy and Paradise Lost with the implication that these works are fan fiction to the demons of actual events with Dante never even making it out of Hell because he was too prideful. (Charly’s father has two faces in his wings/comb which are constantly chewing parts of Dante like chewing gum).

I know Viv says she’s hoping to get Weird Al to voice Lucifer. Personally I think a better unlikely but TOTALLY FITTING devil would be mah man Martyn Jacques of The Tiger Lillies. They even have a circus motif!

Engel probably claims his name is supposed to be misspelled on purpose. In reality, it’s cause he was drunk when submitting his resume to be an incubus and made a typo for his new name.

Vee’s human name is Marianna Posada. GET IIIIIT.

Alastair’s human name is Edward Hastings. Edward being the name of the American Murder Song which inspired my Alastair, while Hastings is the last name of the man who helped doomed the Donner Party.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #4 | A Woman’s Torment (Findlay, 1977)

The movie opens with a fairly awkward sex scene while the ballgame is playing on TV. It looks a tad one-sided, to put it tactfully, something confirmed moments later when the woman corrects the man when he tries to cheer her up. They didn’t make love, she insists, “you just masturbated inside of me.” Ouch. The man and woman are husband and wife. The wife suspects the husband is having an affair. The husband, a psychiatrist, is eager to get to a party, the host of which is his close friend, whose wife with whom he is indeed having an affair. (Or was. “An affair is not like a marriage. It ends.” This is said moments after he calls her a “cock-stirring sight.”) This husband, on top of being a lousy friend and lousy husband, later wears a denim sportcoat, is audibly disgusted when crab meat and sour cream is served as hors d’oeuvres, announces that he’ll be delivering a lecture on breasts, and eventually declares himself as the world’s worst psychiatrist when he tells someone “Right now I think you need a man's body next to you, more than all the therapy in the world.” Anyway, back at the party, his friend tries to talk him into offering his services to his wife’s stepsister, who’s been staying with them for weeks but hasn’t said a peep. This character, played by Tara Chung, is the main character.

Indeed, this character doesn’t say a word until around a third into the movie. After the party, she packs up and retreats to a beach house, where she spends the rest of the movie. She’s not the only one here. A repairman (Michael Gaunt) shows up, initially as a sympathetic presence, although things don’t pan out. A nosy neighbour drops by, alarmed that all the lights are on (”Haven’t you heard about the energy crisis?”), but her presence is not well received. A couple spots the house from a boat and thinks it would be a great location for a tryst ( "It looks like all the lights are on." "No, no, that's just an optical illusion." "I've never made love in a deserted house before." "It is rather kinky, isn't it?") and...let’s just say if I found strangers fucking in my house, I’d be pretty pissed too. In between all of this, we cut back to the two couples, who drunkenly sing “Beer Barrel Polka”, fight, fuck, and worry about the poor stepsister all alone in that beach house. Eventually, the psychiatrist decides to drop by to check in on her, and I won’t spoil what happens exactly, but let’s just say it involves an ashtray resting on one’s navel while wearing a speedo, as well as the marvelous advice I mentioned above.

A Woman’s Torment is a pretty strange movie. On one hand, it’s pretty obviously a pornographic take on Repulsion. On the other hand, it keeps cutting back to the domestic squabbles, which play like a sitcom about bad marriages or a parody of a soap opera. It’s an odd fit conceptually, and Roberta Findlay’s direction is not the smoothest, but the contrast between the film’s different textures makes it cinematically compelling. I was unimpressed by the one other film I’d seen by Findlay, The Oracle, but while this shares a similar artificiality in style and crude scenes of horror (candy red blood and disjointed editing figure in both), the notes of soap opera and pornographic content make this feel dynamic in ways that movie didn’t. This also has the benefit of an evocative location in the coastal beach house setting, which provides an eerily calm counterpoint to the violence, sex and melodramatics. It brings to mind the use of similar locations in such films as J.S. Cardone’s The Slayer and Agnes Varda’s Documenteur, and the three films might make an interesting triple feature.

The movie gets much of its power from Tara Chung’s performance. It’s not a good one, exactly, but her presence is ungainly and distinct enough to carry the movie. If it feels more like a disjointed collection of tics than a complete performance, that’s because Chung ran off with a gaffer in the middle the production, leaving Findlay to stitch together her character from the available footage and even stepping in to put on a dress and a wig and play the role during a murder scene. I don’t think the movie is worse off as a result, and Walter Sear’s soundtrack, full of distorted voices and dissonant sounds, also helps put us in her fraught, unstable headspace. There’s also some comic relief courtesy of Jake Teague as the psychiatrist and Marlene Willoughby as the neighbour, who go all in on the respective bozo and dowdy qualities of their characters. I’ve said enough about Teague’s character, but my favourite moment of Willoughby’s is when he takes off her shoes and dumps sand all over a table and then chastises the main character for being a poor housekeeper. (“You’re not very neat, are you, dear?”) This is after stealing a lightbulb.

The film exists in both softcore and hardcore versions. I suspect the former is Findlay’s preferred cut, as she notably found shooting hardcore sex scenes to be distasteful. (Her trick for getting through them? Grab a telephoto lens, find a halfway interesting angle and move the camera up and down until you’ve eaten enough runtime.) Some of the sex scenes here are indeed shot in a pretty perfunctory manner, and the softcore version also has the benefit of added story elements and dialogue scenes, the highlight of which in my opinion would be a moment where Robert Kerman discusses Fellini in a brief cameo. (I’m beginning to develop a similar affection for golden age hardcore that I have for Italian horror, where the mere presence of certain regulars brings me some joy. Kerman benefits doubly given his work in both industries.) Yet I can’t deny that the explicitness of the hardcore footage gives the themes of sexual repression a certain charge, and Chung’s scenes in particular carry a real tension thanks to the instability of her performance. The ideal version of this movie would keep her sex scenes in their full, explicit form and trim the others (and of course keep the Kerman dialogue). As is, either version is still well worth your time.

[oh-boleyn]

languages 101

Okay!! I did it!! I wrote fluff!! This is for @six-gifts-exchanges, and I wrote it for @enough-love-stories and I hope you like this!

Have some fluff with Cleves and Parr 💖

words: 2069, language: english. cleves & parr (friendship)

When Henry died, only two of his six wives were alive.

His fourth wife, Anna of Cleves, who he had divorced years prior but maintained a cordial relationship, even inviting her to court and granting her a castle for her own. And Catherine Parr, his six and last wife, who practically acted as a nurse in the last years of his life.

When they reincarnated, the two quickly bonded over being the “survivors”, even if only the final wife had the official title. They enjoyed each other's company, even when things got hectic in the house, they had each other’s back. Being the most relaxed queens left them the ones in charge to act as judges when chaos broke in the group.

Anna was close to Katherine too, happy to see her alive again. The fourth and fifth queens spent much time together, alone or with other queens tagging along. Taking dance classes together, eating ice cream, tea with Jane and binge-watching sitcoms were on their weekly schedules.

Parr had similar close relationships with Anne, after getting through the initial hesitation they were now usually seen together, discussing in French or talking about science. Aragon was another queen really close to the survivor, being her godmother, she had taken the role to take care of the younger woman, taking her into random trips to museums or other not-as-intellectual outings.

But still, the relationship between the second divorcee and the last queen was special. They had breakfast together almost every day, a really special moment for them to share what was going on. They confide in each other, knowing all their secrets and fears, having inside jokes and how to make the other feel better. If either of them had a problem, no matter how close they might be with the other queens, the first person they’d trust would be the other.

Tonight, the house was found with only both of them inside, having both been covered by their alternates.

“Are you in a mood for a round of chess?” Catherine asked, taking away her eyes from the TV.

“Yes, I think.” Anna responds, looking down. “I was actually going to ask you for a favour.”

“Alright, what’s up?”

“Can you teach me Spanish?” she asks.

A bright smile passes across Cathy, already shining with the idea of how to teach her best friend a language that she holds so close to her heart.

“Of course! Do you want to start now?”

Anna nods, and proceeds to say: “I will look for a pen and you go for paper.”

“You know me.” Catherine laughs.

Five minutes later they are sitting at the kitchen table across from each other. Anna covers the table with different pens, including some highlighters and glitter pens that belong to Katherine. Cathy has some white paper sheets, plus a notebook.

“I haven’t used this one yet, I wanted to save it for something important,” she handles it to Anna, “today is the day.”

“Are you sure?” The German queen wonders.

“Yes, teaching for the first time in something like five hundred years is a big deal, and teaching my favourite language to my closest friend is even more important.”

Anna accepts it. It screams Catherine Parr anyway you see it. The blue coloured front is no more than just an advance of the light blue pages inside. It isn’t squared, nor is it lined paper, instead it has dots all over it. The fourth queen appreciates it, the notebook is almost perfect for her friend, but still she decided to give it to her.

“Okay, first things first, persons. First person is yo.”

Cleves writes it down, her letter messy and cursive.

“Second person is tu.” Catherine indicates.

“Isn’t it vos?” Anna wonders.

“I mean, yes, but vos is used in only some countries, you can add it if you want to though.” Parr explains.

The go over all the persons, vosotros, ella, el, ellos, ellas. Once that’s finished, they pass over some common verbs. Yo soy, tú eres, vosotros sois, ella es, él es, ellos son, ellas son. They go quickly over explaining what eñe means, and how to pronounce it, which leads to the word cumpleaños.

“Try to introduce yourself.” Catherine offers.

“It will be a mess; I still don’t know a lot.” Anna contradicts.

“C’mon! I’m so sure you know your name.” The survivor smirks.

“Yo me llamo Anna of Cleves.” The German says, not sure about the language. “Yo tengo quinientos cuatro años.”

“Really, Anna? I am five hundred and four years old? Show off.” Cathy mocks. “Still, it was great, but you know ‘of Cleves’ is in English, like ‘Von Kleve” is in German.”

“So how is it in Spanish?”

“Anna de Cleveris.”

“Are you kidding me? That sounds… so not serious.” Anna laughs. “I refuse to be named that.”

“Whatever you say, Cleveris.” Cathy responds, with a playful look. “You can not change your name if you don’t want to. Catherine still uses Catalina sometimes.”

“She doesn’t anymore, not since Anne found that website that said that Catalina means poop.” Cleves reminds her. “But I think I will stick with ‘of Cleves’, at least for now.”

“Alright, now we continue, with for example ‘like’?” Parr offers. “It’s ‘gustar’.”

Anna checks her notes and before asking: “Yo gusto?”

“Yes, perfect. What do you like? I can give you the translation just so you can add it to your presentation.”

“I like music. And nature.” She stays thoughtful for a while. “And dogs, mate, I love dogs.”

“You can say yo gusto de la naturaleza.” Cathy explains. “Mi animal favorito son los perros.”

“That sounds like English I think I can manage.”

She writes it down, knowing that probably she is confusing S and Z, V and B everywhere.

“What was ‘dogs’ again?” Anna asks.

“Perros.”

“How do you write it?”

Cathy laughs, making Anna chuckle. Learning a new language was harder than she remembered, and it couldn’t be helpful how different Spanish was from German. Luckily for her, Parr was there to help. Walking to her side, she wrote in her distinctly calligraphy –a cursive that was maybe way too curvy, and distinctly renaissance-like– the word, marking the double R.

“There you go, linda.” She smiled.

“What did you call me earlier? A show off?” She parodies her friend.

“Oh, shut up!” Catherine giggles. “Would you mind if we take a break? I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Anna agrees, carefully closing her new notebook. “Do you want something specifically?”

“I was planning to do something quick; you should keep studying!” Cathy insists. “Start exercising in Duolingo!”

“I refuse, to ever, in my life, use Duolingo.” Cleves says, with a death look.

“Then keep practicing verbs. I have a dictionary in my bedroom.”

“I think I’m fine for now, I need a little break.”

They fall into casual conversation, talking about how excited they were for spring to begin, and different ideas for a summer road trip. They discuss their favourite places from the tour, and where they would love to be back.

Talking with each other feels natural, normal. They know each other's humour, how to make the other laugh. Friendships were not something they were used to in their past lives, everyone having an ulterior motive. Allies were not friends, and in court everyone was just that, nothing more than a power relationship.

“What made you want to learn Spanish?” Catherine asks, already serving the food.

“I don’t know.” Anna answers, trying to play it cool.

“C’mon! I know you have a reason,” she insists, “but it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

“It’s just a silly reason, Cathy.”

“If it was you would tell me!” Parr laughs. “I keep up with your silliness all the time.”

“Rude?” Anna mocks. “It’s just that I wanted to make you happy.”

Catherine stops for a moment, processing the information. Cleves takes the opportunity to continue.

“I know how much you love languages, and you love to teach. I just thought it would be a good way to spend our time together.” She smiles. “I also think it can be fun, plus I would like to also speak in Spanish with Aragon at some point, I know how much nostalgia she holds to it. But I also don’t want to overstep, if that’s something just between you and Aragon then that’s alright but-“

Catherine interrupts her: “It’s really thoughtful of you.”

She leaves the plates, to quickly embrace Anna into a hug.

“You think so?”

“Yes! Really, it’s just an amazing gift.” She breaks the hug. “I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes with my ranting about random things, so I’m more than happy for you to get interested in languages. Nonetheless, if you want to stop learning I won’t get mad.”

“You are never a lot to handle.” Anna insists. “You are my best friend. And I don’t think I will want to stop any time soon, I like learning. Plus, maybe I can teach you German one day.”

“Maybe not now, I already get too mixed with languages.”

Anna laughs, conscious of how many times she would drop a word in another language while trying to speak English.

They have dinner while watching a Spanish show –Anna wanted to watch some sitcom that had been sitting on her list, but Catherine insisted on watching this show about time travel, plus “you have to get used to the accents, Anna!”–, laughing at their commentary. Before they can finish the episode, the queens burst into the house, tired after the show.

“How did it go?” Cleves asks, taking her plate and Catherine’s to the dishwasher.

“Tiring.” Anne says simply, falling on the sofa. “I fell during the Megasix, now my whole being hurts.”

“I hope someone filmed it! I was singing and didn’t see her!” Katherine complains.

“I did, it was funny.” Aragon laughs.

“Mate!” Boleyn protests.

“Anyway, girls, how was your night off?” Jane wonders. “What’s up with all these pens and paper?”

“Nothing.” Anna quickly shouts from the kitchen.

“It’s just me writing stuff, Anna was helping.” Cathy explains. “Do you want ice for your butt, honey?”

“Funny.” The second queen mocks.

The six queens stay talking for a while, before finishing eating and excusing to their bedrooms. Cathy takes the notebook and pens, and takes them to her room, aware that Anna apparently wanted to keep the secret of their Spanish lessons.

She decides to give the notebook back to her friend once the rest of the queens are already in their bedrooms, going slowly up the stairs, mindful of not making too much noise. Cathy knocks the door twice, before getting it, not bothering to get Anna’s permission.

“This belongs to you.” The writer leaves the notebook on the fourth queen’s desk.

“Thank you,” Anna smiles, “I just want to get better at it, before telling the others. I don’t want to feel rushed into learning.”

“I get it, we can be a lot to handle.” Parr laughs. “I also wanted to say thank you again. It’s been so long since I taught and I haven’t realized how happy it makes me. I was afraid that it might make me remember bad moments, but I actually enjoyed it a lot.”

“You are a good teacher, maybe a bit of a jerk though.”

“We already knew that, Cleveris.”

“Whatever you say, tonta.” She playfully replies.

“How did you learn that word?” Cathy asks, confused.

“Oh, Aragon once called Anne that. Kitty and I looked it up on the internet, she also called her tarada, but I think that one is a tad more aggressive.” Cleves explains. “Also, who doesn’t know curse words? I think it’s like the first thing you learn about a language.”

“Really Anna? That’s how you learn languages?” Catherine inquires teasingly.

“Maybe.” She giggles. “What’s your favourite word in Spanish?”

The last queen thinks for a moment, before responding: “I don’t know if I have one. But there’s one I like because I don’t think there’s a real translation of it.”

“Which one?”

“Querer. It means want, but also it means loving. It’s like amar, but I like the idea of a word that is mostly directed to friendship. Friends are really important.”

“Yes, they are.” She hugs Parr. “Te quero?”

“Te quiero.” She corrects.

“Te quiero, Cathy.”

“Te quiero más, Anna.”

[jackie-talks-about-starkid]

Starship (Rewatch #4, 9/30/2020)

YouTube publish date: April 30, 2011

Number of views on date of rewatch: 4,171, 828

Original Performance Run: February 11-23, 2011 at the Hoover-Leppen Theatre in Chicago

Ticket price: $25

Director: Matt Lang

Music and Lyrics: Darren Criss

Book: Brian Holden, Matt Lang, Nick Lang, and Joe Walker

Cast album price and availability: $8.91 on Amazon and iTunes

     Release date: April 29, 2011

Parody or original: original content, inspired by Starship Troopers, The Little Mermaid, and Alien

Main cast and characters:

Bug - Joey Richter

February - Denise Donovan

Commander Up - Joe Walker

Taz/Buggette - Lauren Lopez

Tootsie Noodles/Pincer - Dylan Saunders

Mega-Girl - Meredith Stepien

Junior - Brian Holden

Roach - Brant Cox

Specs - Julia Albain

Krayonder - Joe Moses

Musical numbers

Act I

“I Wanna Be” Characters: Bug, Roach, and Ensemble (playing inhabitants of the Bug World)

“Get Back Up” Characters: Taz, Up, and Starship Rangers

“Life” Characters: Bug

“Hideous Creatures” Characters: Starship Rangers and Bugs

“Kick It Up A Notch” Characters: Pincer, The Mosquitoes, and Bug

“Status Quo” Characters: Bug

Act II

“The Way I Do” Characters: Tootsie Noodles, Mega-Girl, February, and Bug

“Beauty” Characters: Roach and Bugs

“Kick It Up A Notch (Reprise)” Characters: Junior

“Beauty” Characters: Company

Notable Notes:

This production won the 2011 “Best New Work” award from BroadwayWorld’s Chicago theatre awards

Starship is Starkid’s first show that they produced independently from the University of Michigan! The show opened in Chicago, where the following few shows were produced before a majority of the most active members moved to Los Angeles prior to The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals, which opened in 2018

StarKid had their own short segment on MTV that highlighted certain aspects of the production such as Criss’ music and the puppetry (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlnIXIGrjVg). At that point in time, Darren Criss was already a television favorite due to his role as Blaine Anderson on Glee, who joined the cast during its second season

The show’s cast album debuted at number one on Billboard’s Top Cast Albums within three days of its release and at the 134th spot during that week’s Billboard’s Top 200 chart (x)

The opening sequence features cameos from other StarKid members such as Chris Allen, Tyler Brunsman, Richard Campbell, Britney Coleman, Arielle Goldman, Devin Lytle, Lily Marks, Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia, and Brian Rosenthal.The same sequence was narrated by actor Bob Joles (AKA Man Ray in Spongebob Squarepants)

***Fun Facts provided by Abby:

Nick and Dylan think the worst StarKid song is ‘Hideous Creatures’

During a rehearsal, Joey told Nick that he thought the choreography for ‘Beauty’ was boring. Then Nick asked him, “Do you want to choreograph the number?" and then walked out of the room.

There was a theoretical sequel to Starship in which Taz and Up arrest Spaceclaw but get injured by an explosion. Up ends up in the hospital because of his injuries, and while Taz waits for him to heal, she has flashbacks of when they first met and the missions they went on together (Taz’s quinceañera, etc.)

Lauren: I'd like to imagine that Taz has that same hairstyle just in a big quinceañera dress

Once during rehearsal, they were all in a bad mood during ‘Beauty’. Darren wanted to surprise the cast with a visit, so he burst into the theatre singing the song and was just met by silence

At LeakyCon 2014 on Orlando, StarKid were invited as guests and performed a staged reading of a one-act sequel to Starship called Starship: Requiem.

Official synopsis: The story follows the adventures of Mega-Girl the robot and her half-witted Starship Ranger husband. The newlyweds are sucked into a black hole of trouble when they go to visit Mega-Girl’s human-hating family, including her overbearing mother-unit, her jealous sister-unit and the return of her hunky ex-boyfriend-unit. (x)

Cultural Context: 2011

The production’s MTV segment aired a little over a week after Glee’s “Original Song” episode, which featured Kurt and Blaine’s long-awaited first kiss [rip Pavarotti]

Prince William and Kate Middleton get married

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 premieres on July 15th

Beyoncé announces her pregnancy during her performance at the MTV Video Music Awards

“Friday” by Rebecca Black gets released in March

In early May, President Obama announces that Osama bin Laden was killed by U.S. forces

New York becomes the sixth state to legalize same-sex marriage on June 24th

The 9/11 Memorial Museum opens to the public on the tenth anniversary of the attacks

Content Analysis:

During my time on social media, I have found that Starship is one of the StarKid shows that gets discussed the least. Up until the show’s debut in StarKid’s history, the only shows they’ve done were AVPM and AVPS, both major viral hits, and MAMD, which reached popularity partly because it was released after StarKid became known for AVPM. Coming off of their great and unexpected successes with these productions, one would think that there would be a bigger fandom for Starship. It’s their second show that is based on original content rather than being a parody, and the production quality is the strongest in their repertoire, considering the funds they gained from their album sales for MAMD and their growing merchandise sales for their Potter musical series.

Personally, it’s one of my favorite StarKid shows because of the production quality and because the performances are so strong. Joey Richter makes a perfect leading man, and seeing how his general abilities as a performer have grown since MAMD has been delightful. His vocal range got stronger and more pronounced and he has a very confident stage presence, especially since Starship was StarKid’s first production independent of the University of Michigan’s monetary assistance and performance space. Lauren Lopez and Dylan Saunders do such an incredible job at playing two completely different characters themselves within the same show. Saunders plays Tootsie Noodles, a lovable idiot with a heart of gold who falls in love with a robot of all things, while also playing Pincer, the villainous instigator of the plot. Lopez has a similar about-face in character portrayal. She plays Buggette, a bug who’s in a helpless one-sided romantic relationship with Bug, and then two seconds later Lopez transforms into Taz, a kickass Latina Starship Ranger with excellent comedic presence and the undisputed leader of the group before Up regains his confidence as commander.

Starship is very unique in that about half of the characters in the show are portrayed by puppets, which themselves are incredibly designed, but unlike other productions that use puppets, they do not detract from the actor’s performance of the character. StarKid did a very good job in ensuring that the puppets are not a gimmick, but rather a compliment, to their individual actor’s portrayal of the character. All actors who play puppet roles do such a great job of vocalizing their character that, despite the design of the puppet not having the ability to change facial features, make the puppets feel so alive that it’s almost like watching a live-action animated movie (the good kind we’ve yet to experience, not the Disney kind). If there is any one thing that Starship represents for the company as a whole, it’s that character creation and embodiment make up the heartblood of the performances. Aside from the vocal performances, the facial expressions and physicality of the performances add so much to the puppetry performances, even when the focus on the character isn’t their physical representation but their dialogue and place in the plot. Regardless of whether or not the recording is emphasizing the puppet itself during a scene, the actor controlling the puppet is using perfect facial expressions and has matching body language with the puppet, which not only helps the actor stay in character, but gives more life to the puppet itself.

While I am eternally grateful that StarKid to this day ensures that their musical productions are put on YouTube for free, there are two very clear downsides that make themselves especially present in the recording. One is that, unlike in live theatre where any audience member can choose who and what to look at onstage at any given time, the camera is the one dictating what each audience member can focus on. Generally speaking, that isn’t too much of a detriment as most of the shots StarKid uses tend to showcase the most important characters during each scene, which any audience member would do if they were to attend a production live, but because StarKid members are so adept at character performance, it really makes me wish that I can look more at the ensemble’s performances during group scenes, or secondary character’s reactions during smaller scenes in which their character may not be the main focus.

Another thing was the general editing style. Though it did not necessarily take away anything from the performance itself or make watching the recording any less enjoyable, there were some editing choices that I felt were too distracting for what the scene called for in the show. For example, when Crayonder mentions to Taz that he thinks that Commander Up has “gone soft” since the injury he sustained in the Robot War, twice does the camera pause on his face and a record scratch and ‘booooo’ track is heard overlaid onto the scene. I understand the comedic nature of that bit in retrospect, but for a viewer, regardless of whether or not they are watching the show for the first time, it’s very distracting and forcibly shifts the audience’s focus on the story and the characters to a one-off joke. For a first-time viewer, that editing choice especially does not have as much impact as it does for a recurring viewer, as at that point in the story, the audience is only just being introduced to the characters and has no personal connection to Up and his backstory, making the effect of the joke less successful. As well, throughout the recording, and during the first act in particular, the show has a lot of quick and experimental cuts in the frame that I feel don’t allow the audience to sit enough with the action and the performance happening onstage, instead making the audience pay more attention to quick facial gestures rather than allowing the audience to take in the performance of an individual actor or an entire scene as a whole. Overall, the editing just reminds me that I am watching this beautifully done live-performance through a screen rather than being there for the performance in person, and lessens the potential impact of the recording as a whole.

Regardless of the editing, Starship still has some of the best character performances and musical numbers in StarKid’s production history. One that really stood out for me during this rewatch was Denise Donovan’s portrayal of February. Her character gets introduced as a classic ditzy character who initially doesn’t have a lot of agency in the story, but through good writing and likable performance, grows into the most sympathetic and dynamic character in the show. Donovan’s performance makes February more human than the trope she represents, and plays off her character so well that her jokes make her more endearing than a throw-away character that’s used just for laughs and a love-interest. Starkid tends to do this with a lot of the trope-y roles that they write for their productions . The writing and the direction have a very unique way of taking seemingly predictable, one-dimensional characters and fleshing them out into entire human beings with backstories and arcs, making their comedic impact all the more enjoyable because the audience genuinely likes them.

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Frankenstein: Legacy and Impact

If I sat you down with a pencil and paper and asked you to draw me a picture of the Frankenstein monster, odds are, I can tell you exactly what you’d draw.

A large figure with a flat-top head, greenish-pale skin, with bolts sticking out of the neck, and heavy eyelids.  If you were particularly ambitious, you might even draw the place of its creation: a lab full of electronic equipment and tables.

For the most part, if I were to take that picture, unlabeled, and pass it around to about thirty people or so without telling them what it was, most would probably identify it as the Frankenstein monster in the lab it was created in.  Some might even chuckle and quote: “It’s alive!”

Ironically, the image that you would have drawn, and indeed, even the quote itself, are not native to the original Frankenstein story.

As a matter of fact, the image you would have drawn came from one, very specific place: James Whale’s 1931 horror classic: Frankenstein.

By 1931, monster movies certainly weren’t new.  As far back as the silent films of the 1920s, films like Nosferatu, The Phantom of the Opera, The Man Who Laughed, and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari had already begun exposing audiences to the scary side of movie magic, using film-gimmicks to make these frightening stories come to life in a way that audiences were wholly unused to.  Even beforehand, a film adaptation of Mary Shelley’s sci-fi/horror classic Frankenstein had already been produced in the year 1910, almost a hundred years after the original book’s publication.

By the time talkies rolled into the theaters, audiences were already used to being scared.  But even so, in 1931, something happened that shook the horror world, and audiences, right to their core:  Tod Browning’s Dracula.

Dracula became a monster (ha!) hit, propelling lead actor Bela Lugosi, the character of Dracula, and horror itself to new heights.  It was dark.  It was creepy.  It was interesting, and, most importantly, it was iconic.  Since Lugosi’s turn in the role, Dracula in the pop-culture understanding has never been the same.

But this isn’t an article about Dracula.  It’s an article about Frankenstein.

It just so happens that you can’t have one without the other.

Dracula took America by storm, shot with weird, Gothic shadows and angles, with a grand story and a truly chilling monster, played absolutely straight.  There were no humorous bits, no last-minute Scooby-Doo twists that rendered the supernatural totally natural, this was pure, undiluted horror.  This matters in the long run, and it certainly matters to Dracula, but it also matters, quite a bit, to Frankenstein too.  

Without Universal’s Dracula, we’d never have Universal’s Frankenstein.

Directly after Dracula’s massive reception (selling fifty-thousand tickets in its first weekend), Universal started production on another big-budget horror film.  Deciding to follow a similar path as Dracula, Gothic source material was selected: Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel: Frankenstein.  

In November of 1931, the film was released, and changed horror, and Frankenstein, forever, just as much as Dracula had.

Spawning multiple sequels (including almost-as-famous film, Bride of Frankenstein), James Whale’s version of the Frankenstein story lived on for over ten years under the Universal brand, concluding with horror-comedy Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.  During this period, the Frankenstein creature met up with both Dracula and the Wolf Man in some of the original examples of a cinematic universe, before Universal laid the character to rest in 1948.  

But, of course, much like within the story, Frankenstein wouldn’t stay dead for long.

British company Hammer Film Productions resurrected the story, and character, in 1957 for The Curse of Frankenstein, making several films about the creature for a few more decades.  Italy and Japan had their own turns with the character for their own films, such as Lady Frankenstein and Frankenstein Conquers the World.  The character model of the monster would appear in everything from Scooby Doo to The Munsters, even appearing on cereal boxes.  (Frankenberry is a classic.)

The character of the Frankenstein monster has been in the public consciousness constantly since 1931, remade, rebooted, genre-twisted, parodied, quoted and referenced in more films than almost any other story to date.

That doesn’t seem so terribly surprising.  After all, Mary Shelley’s book came out over two hundred years ago.  Of course, a story that old would still be kicking around today in many different versions, right?

Right.

But also wrong.

Remember that picture I asked you to draw?

Like I said earlier, the elements of that picture, from the iconic, blocky look of the monster to the mad-scientist lab around him, come from the 1931 film.  But that’s not all.

Igor?  Originated in the Universal monster lineup of Frankenstein films (albeit a composite of Fritz, the hunchback assistant played by Dwight Frye in the original and the actual character Igor, played by Bela Lugosi in later films).

The idea of the monster being assembled from the parts of freshly-dead corpses?  First appeared in the original Universal film.

Electricity bringing the monster to life?  Also this movie.

The monster being mute?  One guess.

It’s not unusual for stories to become lost in adaptation.  It happens all the time.  It explains why the Wicked Witch of the West is green so often, despite the fact that she wasn’t in the original Wizard of Oz novel.  It’s why we associate the quote “Here’s Johnny!” with Stephen King’s novel The Shining, even though it never appeared in the book.  It’s the reason that we assume that John Rambo is a heroic good-guy survivor, when in the original First Blood book, he was on the more ambiguous side, and died in the final confrontation.

What is a little more unusual is that while there have been a few versions of Frankenstein on film that have tried to follow Mary Shelley’s original book a little closer, for the most part, almost every single film instead adapts James Whale’s story.

The monster is almost always mute (or learns to talk in a stilted manner, as in Bride of Frankenstein).  He’s made from bodies of the dead.  He’s reanimated by electricity, worked on by a manic Dr. Frankenstein and his hunchback assistant, Igor.  And, almost always, the monster looks like Boris Karloff.

Whether just appearing in films like The Monster Squad or being lovingly lampooned in direct parodies such as Young Frankenstein, James Whale’s 1931 film made a huge mark, not just on Frankenstein, not just on horror, but on film in general.  Despite the fact that there have been multiple versions of the Frankenstein story told on film, somehow, the original Universal picture has remained the definitive adaptation in the pop-culture consciousness, enduring almost ninety years while still being considered the most popular, most iconic, and best version to date.

How on earth did that happen?

You’d think a film made in 1931 clocking in at one hour and eleven minutes would be easy to top.  Scarier movies have been released since then.  More accurate movies have been released since then.  In fact, there have been over thirty-five films made since this movie, all bearing the Frankenstein name, and even more films without the monster getting top billing.  Why is it that this film in particular is so persistently loved?

If you’ve been with us for any length of time, you’ve already figured out that that’s going to be the question we’re looking at.

Why is Frankenstein so adored almost ninety years after it was first released?  How is it that one skewed vision of Mary Shelley’s novel has become the definitive version?  What was it about that film that is so iconic and beloved that almost every version since then has at least referenced it, if not outright copied it?

That’s what we’re going to be trying to answer in the articles ahead.  Stay tuned for an in-depth discussion of James Whale’s 1931 monster movie classic: Frankenstein.

Thank you guys so much for reading, and I hope to see you all in the next article.

[skruttet]

I flicked through the Tuula Karjalainen book and read bits and pieces of it already and there’s this one section about homosexuality in it that I found really interesting so I thought I’d post it here, even though it’s a bit long oops, in case any of y’all were interested in reading it! Like, I never knew Tove had a gay cousin whom Tove was supportive of in terms of her lesbian identity and whose partner wrote a dissertation on Tove’s books?? So fascinating! Also was not expecting the sentence “The Hattifatteners resemble a wandering flock of penises or condoms”; usually they’re referred to more subtly with words like ‘phallic’ but not here xD

OPEN AND CLOSED

Many researchers have looked for references to homosexuality in Tove’s writings. Although she did not talk about it in public, she made no attempt to conceal it either, and her relationship with Tuulikki Pietilä was known to everyone. The two women took part in official state events such as the President’s Independence Day ball, where they were clearly the first to attend the event officially as a lesbian couple. Their relationship was so open and obvious it was that it was not newsworthy. It was hard to build a scandal on something that everyone knew - even the press, which liked to chase stories of that kind.

Psychological explanations of various kinds often have a chapter of their own in the analyses of Tove’s books, and sometimes unusual views have been expressed. The Swedish scholar Barbro K. Gustafsson earned her doctorate in 1992 from Uppsala University’s Theological Faculty with a dissertation on Tove’s books for adults. She made a special study of The Doll’s House, Sun City, ‘The Great Journey’ and Fair Play, and although her thesis also covered the Moomin stories, they were dealt with more briefly.

Perhaps surprisingly, Tove agreed to be interviewed by Gustafsson during her research work, and even participated in it actively by attending Gustafsson’s dissertation defence. The fact that Tove was prepared to do this may partly be explained by a family connection: Gustafsson was the partner of Tove’s beloved cousin Kerstin. When Kerstin, from a religious family, had realised that she was lesbian, Tove had been extremely supportive. Tove and her friends also helped Kerstin with many issues related to her lesbian identity.

Tove refused to give any public interviews about the dissertation defence, and did not want to talk about her private life or relationships. She returned to Finland as soon as the defence and the celebrations for Gustafsson’s Ph.D. were over, though she did issue a press release. In it she followed convention, thanking Gustafsson for the clarity of her book and her extensive knowledge of the subject - she had, Tove thought, succeeded in uncovering a rarely explored area of the unconscious. She also said that though much was written about authors, it was perhaps best done after their death, if at all. As if to soften the blow, she stressed the degree of trust between herself and Gustafsson. She said that following the progress of the research had been like an adventure, and that it had almost allowed her to see herself as a pioneer.

In her study, Gustafsson focuses on a dream that Tove had in the 1930s and found strangely threatening. In it she had seen large, black, wolf-like dogs on a seashore at sunset. A psychologist had explained to her that the dream was about repressed drives and forbidden sensuality.

In her thesis, Gustafsson is perhaps prone to detect elements of homosexuality too easily in very ordinary matters connected with the sea and archipelago life. She also discussed the wild animals that Tove often returned to both in the Moomin books and in her works for adults. In Moominland Midwinter the dog Sorry-oo wants to join the wolves and learn to howl like them. The story concerns the desire to leave the species into which one has been born, something that proves impossible. In The True Deceiver, the wolfhound plays a central role in the power relationship between the two women. Numerous readers have seen allusions to homosexuality in the comic strip about a little dog that falls in love with a cat. It realises that the love is wrong and becomes depressed. In the end the cat turns out to be a dog in disguise. This time the problem has a simple solution.

In Tove’s books there are repeated descriptions of people or Moominvalley creatures becoming ‘electric’, and this is clearly an important theme in her writing. The Hattifatteners resemble a wandering flock of penises or condoms - in thunderstorms they become electric, and then burn anyone who gets close to them. It is very easy to imagine that the electrification is an allegory for oestrus. The Mymble is also able to become electric - with her countless children she is the most sensual character in Moominvalley. The Whomper Toft in Moominvalley in November is the master of thunder and lightning. He lets the Creature out of a locked cupboard, and all that remains is a smell of electricity. The Creature runs away and grows even larger during thunderstorms, when lightning fills the sky, but is too big, angry and bewildered to be so big and angry. In ‘The Doll’s House’, electrification brings about a drama of jealousy between three men that leads to violence. There is a similar outcome in ‘The Great Journey’, where the mother feels the electrifying presence of her daughter’s female friend, whereupon the daughter becomes jealous.

Fair Play is a book about the relationship between two women in their seventies who are set in their ways, and their daily life together. Gustafsson uses the narrative to examine their mutual roles in the light of the old custom of categorising lesbians either as ‘femmes’ or ‘butches’, the latter having more masculine traits - a way of seeing a relationship between two women as a copy of a heterosexual one. Jonna and her prototype Tuulikki correspond to the ‘butch’ profile. Tove also portrayed Tuulikki as Moominvalley’s Too-ticky, a rather burly, masculine figure who keeps a knife in her belt.

Quoting Lord Alfred Douglas and the line of verse that was mentioned at the indecency trial of Oscar Wilde, Gustafsson writes that homosexual love is the love that does not dare speak its name. Although the time in which Tove lived was quite different from Wilde’s, there were similar prejudices and tensions in society - and, of course, they influenced her writing. Over the centuries women were not expected to write blatant erotic descriptions, but had instead to express themselves in allegorical terms. It was supposed that they did experience such feelings - and even more so when they were the result of unlawful love.

Tove’s books contain no openly erotic episodes or writing of a sexual nature and in this her writing is typical of women’s literature of her time. Sometimes it feels as though the characters in her books have to some extent been freed from sexuality. Their relationships are based more on understanding and friendship than on ardent passion, though their jealousy can sometimes take violent forms. Many things are veiled in highly metaphorical language. In the books that Tove wrote for adults, male and female couples are portrayed interchangeably without particular emphasis. In many of her books, as in her life, homosexuality was so natural that there was no need to make a fuss about it. While it was not to be denied, it was not to be given a high profile either. It was almost as though she backed out of dealing with her sexuality too openly, and in fact she forbade her biographer to write about her love affairs. Since the biography was written for children, this kind of advance censorship was possible.

In the story ‘The Great Journey’ (’Den stora resan’), two women in their seventies, Rosa and Elena, together with Rosa’s mother, live a life of humdrum joys and sorrows and work on their creative tasks. Among all three, physical love is a taboo subject. Elena asks Rosa: ‘What does she know, in any case? Nothing. She doesn’t know anything about such matters.’ The two women are unable to show their feelings for each other if Rosa’s mother is present. They plan a holiday together, but Rosa changes her mind and goes away with her mother instead. She remembers the promise she made in the nursery: ‘I’ll take you with me, I’ll steal you from Papa, we’ll go to a jungle or sail out on the Mediterranean... I’ll build you a castle where you shall be queen.’

Organisations that promoted sexual equality in Finland and the Nordic countries gave Tove awards for her pioneering work on behalf of sexual minorities, and she has certainly been an extremely important role model and author in the gay community. She had the ability to be completely open, yet at the same time quite private - as in the case of the dissertation, when she gave Gustafsson interviews and took part in the defence, but would not agree to answer questions from journalists who were interested in her private life. In relation to her lesbian identity, as shown by this very situation, she sometimes came out of the closet, and at other times she concealed the truth.

Tove’s homosexuality inspired a great many researchers and readers to look for the most varied interpretations. Perhaps her slightly sardonic attitude to this excessive interest can be seen in her song ‘Psychomania’ (’Psykofnattvisan’), written in 1963 for the revue Krasch and set to music by Erna Tauro. The song is like an obscure parody, in which psychoanalytic terms form a wild, cacophonous reality all of their own. It is as though she is drifting among people who are intently looking for something and who begin to see the signs of it everywhere. In fact, they can no longer see anything else because their heads are filled with ‘psychomania’. The song is a lengthy one, and operates on many levels. It also demonstrates that its author was familiar with the psychological terminology of the day - Tove had always been fascinated by interpretations of the human mind and she knew the terminology back to front, so well in fact that she could play with it:

I pore and pore and where I pore the symbols gather more and more I sink right through the floor into depression and tendentious apperception...

-Tove Jansson: Work and Love by Tuula Karjalainen

[locked-behind-the-walls]

Reviews of Some Nova’s Fics

I have been on the (non-fiction) writing kick as of recently, which finally lead to me writing some fic reviews. I've been planning to start writing reviews for B7 fic for a long time, but those plans mostly involved some highbrow "New Wave" gen in the vein of the stories published in The Aquitar Files. Of course, this means that when I did write some reviews, they were about the stories of the classic slashfic author beloved by the fandom. :D

Why Nova? While I like her, she's far from being my favorite B7 author, in slash or in all the fic. I think she's just easy to write about, for me at least - there are a lot of things that I like about her, and a lot of things that frustrate me, and they often are in the same story. Her writing has a lot of clearly discernible patterns and tropes, and I find it much easier to write about them than about the subtleties and nuances of relationships between the characters; I may say that while I like reading both gen and shippy fics of all types, I may tend to write about even the shippy fics in the same way I write about gen. I also probably tend to "accentuate the negative", not because my feelings about this author are mostly negative, but because I find it easier - and more entertaining - to write about the things I dislike than about the things I like.

Let's start? Be warned, those reviews contain spoilers and discussions of heavy subjects. The fics I read and reviewed here: Delinquent, Avon at the Window, Five Easy Pieces and a More Difficult One, Town Mouse, Country Mouse, Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry, Before and After, Why I Can't Stand Vila Restal, Prime Suspect, Time and Fevers, Outlaws and In-Laws.

Delinquent

This was the first Nova's fic that I read and one of my favorite ones so far. It has some problems - while I like good boy/bad boy pairs, I think she sometimes tries too hard to shove Blake and Avon into these roles; the way Avon regains his rebelliousness after getting together with Blake felt too abrupt, almost comically so (I know that Magical Healing Cock is a thing; perhaps we should come up with the B7-specific version, Magical Class-Consciousness Rising Cock); and, of course, "undesirable associates" gets repeated ad nauseum. But I just find the idea of Avon being Blake's childhood hero so adorable, and it's for sure one of the most original takes on "they knew each other pre-canon" trope in this fandom. It's interesting to review it after reading other Nova's fics - now I can clearly discern some tropes and headcanons she used in many other fics, e.g. exploring characters' backstories, accentuated differences in Blake's and Avon's upbringing, love restoring the fighting spirit in characters and so on.

Five Easy Pieces and a More Difficult One

I... frankly don't remember that well the more psychological parts of this one, even though I read it not so long ago. What I remember well is all that sex and the bit with the uprising, which sums up my priorities quite accurately. (The sex was damn good. And so was the uprising.) In my defense I must say that it's one of those "faux-casual sex turns into emotional commitment" fics, so sex and romance are interwoven very closely here, even by the fanfiction standards. It's also quite trope-heavy, going through several slash cliches, and as someone who's not a fan of many slash cliches I can say that it's done in pleasantly non-cringy way (except the first part, which was somewhat cringy. I think nothing can redeem Visiting a Gay Planet and Trying to Fit In for me, except maybe outright parodies).

Town Mouse, Country Mouse

Another story about Blake's and Avon's very different upbringings, the one that probably got the most stylized, most deliberate and most extreme about emphasizing these differences. I found the sordidness too sordid and the cutesiness too cutesy, but it was probably the point.

Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry

Oh right. One of my least favorite tropes of all times is using other people as cannon fodder to showcase your Great Romance, and this fic is this trope in spades. Nova clearly likes it - she uses it in several fics, sometimes with several people. That's where we would't agree, I guess. Avon killing himself is another thing which we would't agree on. I get it that Avon have seen (and done) some shit, but the only case in which I can imagine him killing himself is, ironically, if he shared Blake's idealism - it would make such a hellish mix with his personality that it might get just too difficult to bear. This one is not the major point of disagreement and I think can be written convincingly, but here it just comes off as too dramatic. I liked the Vila voice, though, it was pleasant to read and created interesting interplay with the grim backstory and not exactly sunny main story.

Before and After

The only thing I liked about this fic is that Avon got put against the wall for killing Blake. (This review will surely gain me a lot of friends in the fandom.) It was bold and quite cathartic. But of course, here it was because he wanted it - he's too cool to just be shot, apparently. I can also add half a point for the homophobia thing - I don't mind exploring this subject matter in slash, and don't even mind portraying main characters as homophobic, it could be done in an interesting and nuanced manner, but here I felt like it was only somewhat interesting, but mostly felt forced and just made them too unsympathetic. Apart from that, it's just way too similar to Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry, except now Deva is also dragged into the Not As Good As performance.

Avon at the Window

Ouch. I guess we are supposed to read this one in non-quite-serious, kinky way, because otherwise the situation described here becomes just way too appalling and overshadows any enjoyment one could derive from characters getting together. On the other hand, at least here Avon's Horrible Past is not as jarring as in Outlaws and In-Laws, because this fic is much more angstier and here it's more a center of the story. Nova is very unsubtle at laying out the angst here, crude even - and effective, considering that from all her fics, I remember this one the most and it provoked the strongest emotional response. It's a controversial trope, and I'm not a fan of how she engages with it, but in its own way, it worked.

What I dislike, however, is that Blake is basically mischaracterized for the sake of angst. I can see him to be uncomfortable with prostitution, but I can't see him react in such over-the-top judgemental and aggressive manner. I think it would be more realistic - and more interesting - if he tried to be understanding, but was making such poor job of it, being so clearly not okay with the whole situation despite trying to be, and it eventually lead to falling out between them. I believe he at least would bother to learn more about it and would knew how old Avon was at that time! And then I would be able to buy his more bitter and aggressive behavior PGP because well, Avon shot him, he has the right to be upset, and besides he did seem more bitter and aggressive in general in the last episode. As I said, Nova is very unsubtle here and sometimes it hurts the quality of the fic. Also, while treating domes and space stations as ordinary cities under the open sky is a very common trope in Blake's 7 fanfiction, it also one of my least favorite ones and here it's truly egregious in the bits set in the Space City.

The part I liked the most is the one where they are discussing the book about the prostitution. Nova can be very good in sociopolitical stuff, and those ARE the themes where I wouldn't mind her to be unsubtle, but alas, there is too little of it in this fic.

Why I Can't Stand Vila Restal

At this point it started to read like several other fics, some of them Nova's and some of them not. I don't have much to say about this story - it's easy to read and the sex is good, but there is just nothing new about it. Also, Blake is too paternalistic in this one, which can be done well but I just don't dig it, especially in sex scenes.

Prime Suspect

Another fic that I mostly forgot soon after reading. Blake playing detective was fun, and the resolution was deliciously wacky - but what I love about Nova is that she's not afraid of wackiness. Orac bashing is probably the only sort of character bashing I can stand, and no, that's not because it's not alive, it's because it's such an asshole. (I like Orac anyway).

Time and Fevers

Other characters are dragged into Blake's and Avon's love lives to make a point about their love - again! Deva, this time, and Jenna, somewhat, and while I like Blake/Deva, but definitely not like this. At least some time is given to explore their relationship, though not much. I would have preferred if Jenna either got a larger role or wasn't mentioned at all - as it stands now, it's just too creepy. Did she also die? I think we just are not supposed to care. :(

I liked quite a lot of things about this fic. I have a weakness for the washed out, beaten down Blake, and this fic portrays him rather well. Characters are older than usual in this story, and it is also handled well. The theme of love giving you back your mojo is developed better than in Delinquent, even though it involves unfavorable comparisons with other relationship (but not explicitly so, thankfully). The angst is good and not overdramatic, but rather more muted and melancholic, which goes better with Blake's 7 fics. The stuff about sexual histories of the character was, like almost always in Nova's fics, one of the strongest points. However, some bits gave off the vibe that was too romcom-y, especially Dayna and Soolin acting like matchmakers - it's just so not my thing.

Outlaws and In-Laws

One of my favorite Nova's fics and so quintessentially her - very good and hot mess at the same time. It has a lot of themes which I like and most of which Nova generally does well: explorations of characters' pasts and their sexual histories; political themes, including sexual politics; quite a lot of worldbuilding and interesting original characters. That first time is one of my favorite ones, the sex is original, hot and not unrealistic at the same time. Even the cheesier parts didn't feel that bad (or maybe my love of the Gothic genre helped me to get through them). However, the mood of the first and the second part of the fic was just way too different, which again might have been the point, but I don't think that it works that well there. I agree with Aralias' review that Blake is too damn passive in the second part, and this that just felt like him abandoning Avon. I think it contributes to the sudden drop of temperature in the story, figuratively speaking. I also wish we spent more time with Blake's mom - she seemed like a fascinating character, and yet most of her arc was spent on wackiness and being an obstacle.

So, those are my reviews of Nova so far. Maybe I'll write more in the future after reading more fics, or maybe not. Of course, all those fics are also well-written, and easy to read, and have good characterizations, but other people already wrote about it. At this point I can describe Nova as an author who sticks strongly and noticeably to the tropes and headcanons that she likes, and some of them I like too, while others not so much. Her fics also have a lot of mood whiplash, some of which probably wasn't intended as such. I also got the impression that she's better in more lighthearted stories than in straightforward angst.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Wilt Dynasty

As a heads up to anyone reading this. This is a bio for a Bendy OC. A human character I’ve thought about for my Bendy sequel AU. So if you think his name seems similar to the likes of Walt Disney. That’s the point considering while yes Joey Drew you can definitely tell was inspired by both Walt Disney and Max Fleischer. Wilt is basically the parody version of Walt in the world of Bendy. 

Even though I’m concerned of how people would react to this. I don’t know if I should call him a parody. Yet I did wanted to make him different in a way from Walt. But the point was to make a rival to Joey Drew even though we have a Nathan Arch in the lore. Who is in charge of Archgate Films. Which I think I should keep in mind because I was thinking of making another fake company by the name of Walter Bros. The Bendy version of Warner Bros.

Again I am concerned that I guess I’m ripping off stuff. I didn’t wanna just name sake actual animation studios. Also Disney would sue your ass if you mention their name. But I’m rambling just this was a character I’ve mentioned a couple of times. I should start writing about him. 

I also was studying a bit more on Walt Disney himself so I can well be inspired. Including this documentary by American Experience. Despite I’ve read in comments some of it is not true. Such as leaving out Ub Iwerks and his idea of syncing. Whatever else it those videos I was looking at the most. To give me an idea to base Wilt off. Basically to make an anti thesis to Joey.

Including the voice to choose for this guy was hard. Yet I had just found him. Along with thinking about his name. I was trying to make it unique and I’m trying to remember correctly. But Wilt I think stuck with me and it’s kind of a reference to Wilt from Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends considering one part in his bio.

Wilt Dynasty.

Born: 1909.

Died: 1966.

Occupation: Founder of the Wilt Dynasty Company and Wilt Dynasty Studios. Along with other roles.

Voiced By: Mark Fischbach.

Fate: You’ll find out as you read this…it’s not pretty.

Story: Wilt Dynasty was a young man who became one of the pioneers of the American Animation Industry. An American entrepreneur, animator, writer, voice actor, and other things.

His studio was one of the few that was responsible for molding modern entertainment. Along with other companies such as Walter Bros, and Archgate Films. Including one studio named Joey Drew Studios.

With a persona in the public eye as a warm and outgoing man. But mainly during his private life, the man was someone who would apologize a lot when it wasn’t needed. Or even being a man who didn’t think highly of himself. He seemed honestly insecure of himself and kind of shy.

While sometimes at work he was a serious man. Because having to be a driving force for his company needed to be there. But he was someone who was rather honest and a genuine kind man. Being a compassionate and pushing all of his employees to do their best. Including a family man as well.

Including in 1941 during a strike. He realized he was at fault for not raising the pay for his employees. He publicly apologized to them and the riot only lasted for a week. His employees understood and forgave him.

During the course when he was alive. Wilt introduced a character by the name of Johnny Mouse. Who became a hit and Wilt would voice the character himself. Over the years Wilt would make other characters and the studio would make multiple cartoons and films that made history. 

But when he was alive. He was in competition with other companies with the others. Such as Archgate Films, Walter Bros, and others. But there was one studio that Wilt had mention a lot. It was Joey Drew Studios. Including there was one time in early 1946, he was invited to the studio by Joey Drew himself. Which Mr. Drew wanted to discuss the ideas of maybe working together on projects. As he saw Wilt Dynasty’s company becoming a giant in entertainment. 

It was the first time they met and it was Joey giving a tour of the studio. They discussed certain things and Wilt had only heard stories about Joey. But after those discussions and visiting the studio…..Wilt never went back. 

During the scandal of workers revealing their horrible work conditions at Joey Drew Studios. At one point during a public interview, he decided to tell the talk show host about his time at the studio visiting them. He was actually brutally honest and said he felt very uncomfortable there. Despite meeting some wonderful and talented people there. He said when he was at Joey’s studio, he said it was like looking at a Hellish version of his own studio. 

This angered Joey after he had denied what the workers were saying. With Joey saying Wilt had betrayed him and he just feels empathy for the workers and is just spreading lies to ruin him.

Including during this interview Wilt had admitted he loved watching the Bendy cartoons. Yet finding out how the studio was and what the workers were going through. He also admitted if there was the chance he would buy the rights to the cartoons and some how wanting to save those employees and give them better working conditions. Other than that, Joey never looked at Wilt the same again.

In fact there was the possibility that people have said that after Henry left Joey Drew Studios. Wilt had hired Henry and basically gave Henry what Joey never did. A better work environment, and a boss that gives back more. Whether this was true or not. Joey was angered to hear the possibility of this. Even if Henry was possibly drafted during World War 2 during the 1940′s. 

After Joey Drew Studios shutdown in 1959. Including in 1963 when Henry went missing and Joey Drew had died. The Wilt Dynasty company was the leading animation company at the time. But in 1966….something happened. Including during another public interview Wilt had talked about the studio and talked badly about Joey Drew.

During that year, something was happening with Wilt. Despite it seemed like he was acting pretty okay. But he said he was having nightmares. Including that it felt like someone was watching him. 

But it was during a public interview that changed everything. With cameras recording everything. Including with the same talk host he talked to in 1946 and earlier that year. He confessed that he was having nightmares about what appeared to be Joey Drew. But…..looking different. Almost ghostly and demonic. Including in his own home, hearing voices, and other things. Wilt had admitted that for some reason some how, Joey Drew was haunting him beyond the grave. 

The host think Wilt might be playing some sort of morbid joke. But it wasn’t in character of him. Even Wilt didn’t know how to explain. But he said he couldn’t control himself anymore. That Joey literally is driving him to suicide…..which he reveals that was his plan. What he said Joey was making him do. That Wilt couldn’t control himself anymore. As if Joey was using him like a puppet. With the audience confused and the host deciding to call security. Wilt started tearing up before saying I’m so sorry. 

All of a sudden. Wilt Dynasty had shot himself below the chin. Killing himself in front of audiences that were terrified of what they had just seen.

The footage was rarely shown. Only once in the year when it happened on the news. Including later in the 90′s. Including some how leaking to YouTube many years later despite how brutal it was. But despite after his brutal suicide, his company still kept going. 

In today’s modern age. The Wilt Dynasty Company while mainly a family oriented brand changed after that. Just like how Wilt was, they wanted to be an honest company. To keep going and move on without Wilt. In ways that would honor him. But also not to dishonor him. 

Ever since his suicide. Many have wondered did Wilt suffer from depression of any kind. While he may have not thought of himself highly. It wasn’t to the point he would kill himself. Including for a man his age. But the fact he was saying Joey Drew was haunting him. People thought he was crazy, but there was something alarming about that. Did something happen during his visit at the old studio? Did the death of Joey some how affected him? 

After this, some people have assumed there was a death curse by Joey Drew Studios. That whoever went there and saw what they saw would probably die. As if Joey Drew would kill them. It never made sense and nobody really knows why Wilt committed suicide. Including in front of a public audience for all to see. 

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 121: Rocknaldo

“I don't love that. I don't accept that.”

Ronaldo Fryman has always been annoying.

From his first speaking role in Cat Fingers, and his first starring role in Keep Beach City Weird, this has been obvious. He’s selfish and insensitive, dominating every conversation he’s a part of and refusing to respect viewpoints that differ from his. He works well in small doses, where his grating nature can be properly diluted, so it’s understandable that an entire episode of Ronaldo at peak Ronaldo is not a widely beloved entry in the Steven Universe canon. But even though I can’t stand watching Rocknaldo, I actually, uh, kind of love it.

That’s a hard “uh, kind of” though. It’s tough to separate my emotions about this one, because I respect such an incredible portrayal of toxic fandom, but I hate toxic fandom so much that I don’t enjoy spending time with it, even as parody. This isn’t an episode I’m ever in the mood for, but it’s just so good at what it’s doing that I can’t stay mad at it.

Ronaldo’s propaganda is first played for laughs, with Steven’s bewilderment at what he’s reading (“They’re adding mind-controlling minerals to our water suppl—they hate men?”) and the vaudevillian back and forth of Ronaldo’s Rock People talking points and Steven’s quick and absolute dismissals. Ronaldo’s embarrassment is a bit of a surprise considering he’s never seemed capable of such a sensation, and his willingness to admit he’s wrong seems like a good sign, but oh boy does that attitude not last.

The mindset that led Ronaldo to make his bad faith arguments in pamphlet form (which he calls Ronalphlets because heaven forbid we get the idea that it’s not about him) persists, and it’s so much worse in conversation than as printed media. It’s not enough that he impedes on Steven’s personal space, but he checks off multiple key items on the Pathetic Internet Troll I Find Useless List (or “PITIFUL” if we’re using proper jargon). He’s casually sexist. He negs Steven into accepting his intrusions. He gatekeeps the concept of being a “true” Crystal Gem, which is lousy in a bubble but so much worse in practice because he’s doing it to an actual Crystal Gem. He gaslights by stating his incorrect views as obvious facts, complete with his own lingo, to make Steven question his own validity. And perhaps worst of all, he takes advantage of Steven’s empathetic nature to pretend that a tolerant person must accept abuse.

On the one hand, Ronaldo’s extreme behavior can be chalked up to severe sleep loss; that’s certainly the angle the episode goes for. But on the other, his toxicity begins well before he decides to stop sleeping, and as someone whose record for consecutive waking hours is an inadvisable thirty-six, fatigue will make you cranky, but it won’t make you more conniving. In cartoon world it’s a clean device to up Ronaldo’s awfulness in a way we can walk back from, but ugh he’s still a trashfire. Zach Callison always deserves kudos, and Rocknaldo is no exception, but Zachary Steel wins out here for capturing such a loathsome version of his character.

A key ingredient for Rocknaldo is timing. Steven just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and this is our first glimpse at how it’s changed him, so what better way to test our all-loving hero than to pit him against a black hole of selfishness? He’s grown a lot since Keep Beach City Weird in a way Ronaldo hasn’t, and while his instinct is still kindness, now there’s a welcome dose of teen moodiness mixed in. 

It takes a while for Steven to realize it’s a grift, but beyond this slowness being a necessity for the conflict of the episode to work, it makes sense for where he’s at this point in the show. Again, kindness is an instinct for this kid, and even when Ronaldo starts getting infuriating, we’ve seen Steven be patient with him before. He’s also got that martyr complex revved up: this isn’t the first or last time he’s been willing to suffer to make someone else comfortable. He knows how much it sucks to be called the wrong name by now, so he’s the only person who consistently calls Ronaldo “Bloodstone.” And considering Rose Quartz wasn’t what he thought, he now feels that he must double his efforts to be his best self to compensate.

Also important is Steven’s willingness to defend his friends from the start, calling the term “Rock People” offensive and defending the Gems’ decision to leave Ronaldo behind on a dangerous mission. He can take Ronaldo’s lousiness all day, but finally snaps when Connie’s worthiness is insulted. It’s sweet that he sticks up for people, but it’s a bummer that he probably would’ve put up with Ronaldo even longer if the only one suffering was himself. Steven would do anything for his friends, but he’s not doing much for Steven.

This is why Ronaldo is the ideal antagonist for an episode coming off Steven’s space adventure. Steven’s selflessness contrasts perfectly with Ronaldo’s selfishness, but instead of a story about selflessness being good and selfishness being bad, we see how selflessness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, it’s good to care about others, but it’s also important to have boundaries and enough self-respect to defend yourself; this isn’t even the first time we’ve gotten this message, but it bears repeating. There’s are limits to tolerance that trolls will always exploit (“White Nationalists aren’t welcome here? So much for the ‘Tolerant Left!’”), and on a show about empathy we need for Steven (and the audience) to see that empathy doesn’t mean being a doormat.

Steven’s patience fuels the episode, but the wheels are greased by the Amethyst and Pearl’s disdain. It’s a minor part of Rocknaldo, but I’m not sure I could survive how grating Ronaldo is without some backup from the Gems.

Garnet may lead a slow clap at Steven’s rousing speech on the nature of acceptance, but Amethyst is happy to crack jokes at Ronaldo’s self-seriousness, down to that perfect impression near the end of the episode. Meanwhile, Pearl openly hates the guy. We don’t even get Sassy Pearl (perhaps the greatest Pearl of all), she’s just bluntly dismissive as a refreshing antidote to Steven’s hospitality. She doesn’t bother to remember his ridiculous new name because she refuses to humor the notion that he’s a Gem, and it totally works for me; misnaming is played for drama when Steven is concerned, as befits the trans allegory that comes to a head in Change Your Mind, but Ronaldo is a human belittling Steven’s identity by pretending he shares it, so “Bloodstone” isn’t worth getting right to her (it helps that “Fryrocko” is also a delightful thing to call somebody). This jokey take on names works in the moment, but more importantly primes us for a more serious take in our last scene.

The final conversation, after a rare time jump, does salvage Ronaldo somewhat. He apologizes and admits he was acting like a jerk, and remains dedicated to helping the Crystal Gems in his own weird way. But the root of his problem isn’t gonna up and go away, and that root, again, is selfishness. He doesn’t fit in because he would rather the world adjust to meet his whims than take a single step towards self-improvement, so he chooses to see himself as “the ultimate outsider.” I guess it’s nice to find a positive spin on qualities you’re not great at, but it reeks of self-importance in a way that’s true to the character but is still frustrating to watch. Ronaldo is very good at being who he is, but I just don’t have much patience for intentionally annoying characters.

Still, we get that lovely moment of Steven talking about his name; it’s not a big revelation that folks only call him Rose Quartz when they’re mad at him, but verbalizing it shows that he’s aware of the pattern. The issue of his name will pop up more and more, becoming a cornerstone of both the Season 4 and Season 5 finales, so it’s nice to discuss it in a calm moment so we can keep Steven’s opinion in the back of our minds when things get messy. Ronaldo, to his credit, asks permission before sharing this story on his pamphlet, and evokes fellow emotionally-challenged antagonist Zuko in his attempt at solidarity. (Fun fact: in no other way is Ronaldo similar to Zuko.)

Moving from Zuko to Zuke: I don’t know where Rocknaldo’s production lined up on the timeline of the Steven Universe fandom's worst elements harassing Jesse Zuke, but I hope Zuke got some level of catharsis in portraying such “fans” in this pathetic manner. Speaking as a guy with a blog, calling Ronaldo “just a guy with a blog” is perfect putdown for a loser that makes himself feel big by pretending to know how to run a ship better than the captain. Imagine if I spent every post saying how much better of a storyteller I am than this crew. Ugh.

Fandoms can do great things, but man are they pros at doing horrible things. During the week that I wrote this review, a 15-year-old Super Smash Bros player got yelled off the internet for beating an established player in an incredible fashion, because while the community adores a young upstart, they can’t stand when that upstart is a girl. And no, I’m not saying the entire fandom did it, just as the entire Steven Universe fandom didn’t target one of the show’s best boarders (note that this article was written when Zuke still went by Lauren), but there are more than enough Ronaldos in every community, and it’s up to people who comprehend the basic tenets of empathy provided by a show they claim to love to stand up to such bullies.

If you don’t like Rocknaldo, that’s just fine. Because you shouldn’t like how Ronaldo acts in it. Liking something doesn’t give you the right to harass people, so do your part in shutting that nonsense down. 

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Just give us an episode with Peridot, Yellow Pearl, Peedee, and Ronaldo trapped in a room already.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

I hate watching this episode, but that doesn’t mean I hate the episode. It does its job very well, which is worthy of admiration even if I’m probably never going to watch it again now that this review is done.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure