#i wonder what baz would like..

[simonscones]

how do you guys think snowbaz would decorate their home? we know about the pink couch and how simon needs an empty wall to shove baz against but what else do you guys think?? what kind of styles??

[confused-bi-queer]

Baz on CO calls Malcolm "Father", which doesn't really exist on Spanish. We just don't call our dads like "Padre" on its own, so I was wondering what Baz would do.

Since on canon CO he says "Father" so often (if not always), I wondered if in Spanish he would say "my padre" which is the direct translation.

Father = Padre

Dad = Papá

This is how it works. "Padre" has the same formal meaning/sensation as "Father", and "Papá" is informal like "Dad". Mexican Spanish uses tons of words to refer to one's dad, like "pá", "papi", etc etc.

But Baz in Spanish CO calls Malcolm "mi papá", AND THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING EVER. I know it would have been weird for him to use Padre, but I love that the Spanish translation makes him call him his dad, because that's so much personal, and because it seems more approachable. It changes the way the World of Mages is built, because it doesn't sound so much like a world where war is happening, it's just looks like people with political problems. And it makes Baz less antagonistic. He doesn't have a parent whom he calls Father, he has a dad, and no villain has a dad.

It really makes Baz vulnerable and just a boy.

And when Simon asks the Mage for a roommate change, the Mage tells him he must take care of Baz because of the Crucible, but on Spanish, he tells Simon "Estás destinado a cuidar de él", AND ISN'T THAT SO ROMANTIC???? We're being told since Chapter 31 that Simon is forever bound to take care of Baz, that in the future he'll do nothing but try to secure Baz's safety. And isn't that something Simon already does?

Spanish Carry On sounds a 10834 times more romantic. I love Spanish so much

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

As much as I love Hal and Guy and John, sometimes I wonder what Green Lantern comics would've looked like if they never came back to their old roles. Like if instead of Geoff Johns's epic saga that begins with Hal's return, Kyle was allowed by editorial to succeed at restarting the Green Lantern Corps and became the leader of a new generation of GLs?

I think that would've been the natural progression of Kyle's character. For years he was called the last of the Green Lanterns and he carried that weight like Atlas holding up the sky. He tried so many times to rebuild the Corps that he'd only ever heard about from others, and so many times failed because he trusted the wrong people.

But what if instead, Kyle's faith in others was rewarded? What if his search for worthy ringbearers led him to the unlikeliest of candidates? A car thief suspected of terrorism, and a hermit too terrified to leave her apartment? The Guardians of old would have looked at Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz and found them utterly unfit to wear the ring. Many of the Justice League probably would too.

But Kyle Rayner was chosen by sheer, desperate chance in a dirty alleyway. He remembers the toll that unyielding demand for perfection took on his predecessors, how it broke Hal Jordan in the end. He remembers how he was just given the ring with no explanation or training or support and how that cost Alex her life. So Kyle chooses to help.

He helps Simon track down the real culprit behind the bomb. He helps Jessica find the men who murdered her friends. He teaches them that there is no shame or disgrace in fear, so long as they overcome it. And for once, Kyle Rayner's trust and optimism wins out.

The Green Lantern Corps is reborn. There may be only three of them now, but it's more than Kyle ever had before. He takes his partners (for all that he taught them everything they know, he considers them his equals) to the Watchtower. He introduces them to the Justice League, and then breaks the news that the two new Lanterns will replace him when he ventures out to the stars to continue recruiting.

But before Kyle leaves, there is one last thing to do. He brings Simon and Jessica to the Warriors bar in New York to meet their elders. John, Guy, and Alan already know of the new recruits, having heard through the grapevine (Oracle puts out very fast newsletters), but it's another thing entirely to see with their own eyes the small spark that Kyle had carried alone finally growing into a fierce blaze.

And unseen by all of them, Hal Jordan watches as the family he nearly destroyed begins to rise from the ashes. The Spectre feels a little more at peace because he knows that Kyle Rayner is not the last of the old Green Lanterns. Instead, he is the first of the new.

Part 2: Simon, Jessica, & Keli

Part 3: The Lantern at the End of the Universe

Part 4: The Last Guardian

[aq2003]

archive dive #3: romeo and juliet (2000)

i fucking loved this so so much. ohhhhh it was so good. i am fond of the baz luhrmann movie but my one gripe w it is the portrayal of the titular characters feels too boring and here it's like. i can't even joke david tennant and alex gilbreath are perfect for the roles and i'm obsessed. i feel like this production really nails the tone most of all; when i was reading the play again i found it kinda fucked up and dark, like while it was funny at times (like any shakespeare play is) it very much wasn't this light fantastical sweeping romance, even at the beginning before the deaths start happening...and it feels like michael boyd thought the same when approaching the story. it feels slightly unconventional but also the original felt like that to me too, if that makes sense. anyway i loved the music and choreography in this soooo much and the seperate curved walls symbolizing the two families is just [chefs kiss]. it's a great production all around and i'm forever jealous of the people who got to watch it live

prev / archive dive tag / next

david wrote about it in his romeo essay of course but i love the choice to have romeo narrate the prologue in the middle of the big brawl between the families at the beginning. the fact that it's a romeo after his death looking back on the tragedy with a sense of resignation but also serenity like yessss yessssssss <- sicko. he was doomed from the start because of the world he lived in etc etc

you can feel the teenage angst dripping off romeo the minute he walks onto the stage (after the prologue during his actual first scene). his back is to the camera as benvolio hugs him but the angst is still so palpable. it's coming off of him in waves. just the way that he walks. so real

"in sadness, cousin, i do love...........................a woman" why did he pause like that. this is so funny. what is the implication here.

david plays romeo's self-dramatizing lovesickness perfectly but also this was the exact energy i expected he would also bring to berowne and he surprisingly did not! i will talk about this in the LLL post but i will leave this note here for now

i love alex's voice an inordinate amount and i think it is just a perfect fit for juliet. i think a big thing with juliet is that she sort of acts/imagines herself as much older than she actually is (bc that's how her family sees her too) and her having that kind of raspy, deeper voice lends itself well to that

mercutio is a really interesting bit of this production because it's the one element i feel like is the least faithful to the text (or at least, whatever my reading of the text is). he's very clearly jealous, and a lot of his lines poking fun at romeo's love life feel way less humorous than they were originally written to be. like of course this mercutio is witty and fun which goes for basically any good mercutio but he's also a bit vindictive here! he's cynical about love specifically because of romeo's rejection of him! it's not bad and it def feeds into the tone the production is going for but it is still very Different to me

like by comparison you look at harold perrineau's mercutio (bombastic and campy and fun with this undercurrent of past tragedy to him) or dt's audio drama mercutio (filled w a lust for life without the actual lust. he's just here for a good time) and adrian's mercutio just feels like a whole different character. he even gets aggressive with romeo and pins him down for half of the queen mab speech and it's like mercutio we can find you another twink for you to make heart eyes at it's okay.

i wonder if the familiarity between mercutio and romeo + that line reading on "i do love a woman" a while back implies that they had some kind of history together? is that why mercutio feels so possessive and jealous over romeo? much to think about

the whole stage changing color back to blue during the dance when juliet and romeo first lay eyes on each other. Oh baby

the curved line the capulets form as they hold hands and walk off the stage after the dance imitating the curve of the wall <33

i'm obsessed with how alex delivers the "you kiss by the book" line. it's so funny. i think in general juliet is so interesting because she's less sensitive and "romantic" than romeo is, like if he's this emotional misunderstood poet than she's more of a grounded realist and is almost surprised by how her feelings bloom out of her. in her head it's like she's aware of romeo's unimpressive aspects (like his cookie cutter pickup lines and his mediocre kissing) but she's still enchanted with him anyway because (to steal a line from doctor who) he's the first person she's met who is remotely like her

i love the song the chorus does at the start of act 2, originally i kind of imagined it being done in the same way as the prologue but it would not make as much sense for ghost romeo to come back in now that the story is rolling along lol

the balcony scene... ahhh the balcony scene. i love how romeo starts off with his back pressed against the wall representing the montagues and then when he works up the courage, makes his way over to the capulet wall where juliet is standing at the top of. symbolism!

juliet hitting her head on the wall to punctuate every word of "wherefore art thou romeo" a) is a great way of approaching the text without over-sentimentality + the baggage of "oh these are some of shakespeare's most famous lines" and b) makes the line a lot more easy to understand for a random audience member watching it (like how she's not asking "where" but "why" and is frustrated by the situation she's found herself in)

the two of them reaching for each other over the wall during the "i would i were thy bird" bit made me go "awww :("

mercutio pushing romeo away when he screams "a plague o' both your houses" (while letting himself get carried away by benvolio)... like Oh yeah it's not even actually about the montagues and the capulets at this point he is blaming romeo specifically and i'm positively sure romeo is looking at him with the sad_wet_david_tennant_eyes.gif

the way romeo's voice breaks when he says "but mercutio's soul is a little way above our heads" someone hug him please. oh my god?

3.3 was done so well and i am so [screams loudly] abt it. just in general i think this scene is VERY important to romeo's character, bc this is basically where you understand his turmoil and why he feels like he can't live in a world without juliet. he's traumatized by his friend's death and thinks his soulmate hates him forever and that his life is over. and you get the sense maybe he was always teetering on the edge of a cliff too. it needs to be given the right amount of weight, it can't shy away from this horrible meltdown he's having. and i think david really does it justice in his portrayal of it. the way he paces around in this uncomfortable and frantic way like he doesn't want to be in his own body n how he screams and lashes out and tries to claw at his skin. it is so heartbreaking thank u david i'm so fucked up now

and like the way that friar lawrence takes the dagger from romeo and goes on his whole spiel about how he needs to man up and stop crying and this just makes romeo start crying harder like oh my god. Ohhhhhhhh my god i actually need to be shot

somewhat delving into hc territory but i think romeo (dt's version especially) is very sensitive and seeks out love and affection wherever he can find it bc his parents were emotionally neglectful towards him (while friar lawrence was far more understanding and attentive by comparison, and generally much more of an actual father figure towards him). but even then friar lawrence has his moments of "stop having those stupid girly feelings romeo". i feel like juliet is the only person in the play who doesn't see romeo's emotions as unseemly or ridiculous

i was reading the prompt book alongside watching this and they changed juliet's line "love, lord, ay husband, friend" to "love, lord, my husband, friend" as if that line couldn't get more tragic. my husband. my friend. fuck!!

also. guys i need lord capulet DEAD and GONE. clean shot. ok anyways

one of, if not my favorite scene in the play is in 4.3 where juliet monologues about what could go wrong before drinking the sleeping potion. it's like... she has to be incredibly brave to even get by in her life, whether that be her relationship with romeo or her father threatening her or her accepting the potion from friar lawrence in the first place. her life is actively scary in a way that romeo's isn't and obeying her family would be so much easier but she still doesn't give in and stop fighting. bc her life is hers and she won't let her one choice she made for herself be taken away from her. but here all of that bravery falls away because she basically has to give up and surrender. she's just left with herself and a drink that will basically kill her and it's so genuinely fucking terrifying for her and it makes me want to eat rocks. she is just so young and scared and she has to look death in the face for a chance of freedom and it's so fucking sad because you know it's not going to work and she's doomed by the narrative

AND THE STAGE TURNS BLUE WHEN JULIET HALLUCINATES TYBALT'S GHOST. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. SHE'S SO TERRIFIED AND RIGHTFULLY SO. SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING COULD GO WRONG BUT SHE DOES IT ANYWAY. BUT WE KNOW SHE'S DEAD. SHE'S BEEN DEAD FROM THE BEGINNING.

anyway that scene was cut out in the baz luhrmann movie but it's here in this production which makes me very happy, as happy as i can be about this very upsetting scene where this young girl is finally overwhelmed by her fear of death

mentioning another thing david wrote about in his essay but romeo in act 5 isn't overindulgent and emotional anymore just determined and driven towards his end. but also actually watching it, for me it's just so so sad because it's like. you want that overemotional romeo back, the romeo that was coming up with love poetry on the spot or crying over being separated from juliet. at that point he still wanted to live for her but now it's like he's filled with this cold finality of "oh, i can only be together with her in death. and there is nothing i have left to do but to make that happen"

romeo's final speech to juliet. david tennant i'm in your walls

juliet's dying gasps/sobs as she sinks into the grave with romeo in her arms. alex gilbreath i'm in your walls

the light of the stage turning blue as the ghosts of juliet and romeo come out of the grave and exit the stage together as their parents agree to resolve the conflict between the families... (the only other times it turned blue were when ghost romeo came out to narrate the prologue, when romeo and juliet first meet each other, and right before juliet drinks the sleeping potion). i am sick

the music at the end of the play/during the curtain call is so melancholy and beautiful I AM SICK

such a good production. fuck

[bookish-bogwitch]

2024 Fandom in Review

Look I know it's been 2025 for five days now but has it, really? In the few days before NYD I saw all your wonderful retrospective posts while feverishly finishing the last chapter of Basil Pitch's Diary and thinking "wow that looks so fun must keep writing," so here we are. Also, are the earth's rotations not a construct of capitalism? Think about it.

I'm not sure how to calculate words written, because I posted a lot of stuff that I wrote before 2024. If you include everything I *posted* in 2024, it's 4 fics, totaling 56k:

Simon Snow and the Selkies Four (3k, T, for the Carry On Picture Book, featuring gorgeous art by @ionlydrinkhotwater and @technetiumai)

Basil Pitch's Diary (WIP, 11/14, 56k, T).

The Stag Party (WIP, 1/4, 1k, T, for @facewithoutheart's birthday.)

Into Her Arms (7k, T, for @ivelovedhimthroughworse's birthday, co-written with the fabulous @cutestkilla)

The entire picture book fic was written in 2022, though, and the first seven chapters of BPD were written in 2022-2023, so if you look only at what I wrote this year, it's more like 3 fics totaling 33k.

I feel like these numbers are very low compared with most people who posted these kinds of roundups--I see you out there beating yourselves with "only" 100k--but I'm honestly feeling pretty chuffed about it. And chuffed about feeling chuffed, if that makes any sense, because historically, going easy on myself has not been a strong suit.

It would be a lie to pretend I'm any less thirsty for external validation than ever. Part of why I'm feeling content about my word count is because I've been showered in love and support, by readers in general and especially in the form of Bunbaz art by Skee, Ashton, Dalia, Monica (and Monica, and Monica). Oh, and there was also @rimeswithpurple getting him tattooed on her fuckin' body. (He now has gray fur and black ears, btw, but I don't think that version is on tumblr dot com yet.) Whenever I feel imposter syndrome creeping up I look at and/or squeeze the Bunbazzes, and feel better. Thank you all for being such a supportive, steadfast, loving community.

In other ways it's been a bumper year for fandom. I got to meet many of you at SSCONe, and otherwise visited with fandom friends in four cities and two countries. I brought Tiny Baz to Sicily to learn about his roots (and to keep me company when I got COVID and had to cross a lot off my itinerary). I also got my hands on a full-size Baz standee who is still folded up in my closet (I KNOW) but who I vow will be out and proud by this time next year.

Anyway, 2024 was pretty good for me personally even though American democracy, such as it is, is in free-fall, and no matter what 2025 brings, you'll be the best part of it.

A tardy thank you to for tagging me to @emeryhall @monbons @forabeatofadrum @rimeswithpurple @nausikaaa

@ileadacharmedlife @prettygoododds @artsyunderstudy @alexalexinii @best--dress

@j-nipper-95 @stitchyqueer @roomwithanopenfire @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @skeedelvee

@mooncello @whatevertheweather @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon

It's so not New Years anymore so I'm not like, tagging tagging you, but if @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @shrekgogurt @ebbpettier or @ic3que3n, or you reading this would like to toot your own 2024 horn, I beg you to toot away.

[bookishbroadwayandblind]

WIP Wednesday

Hiiii! This is the last Phantom chapter and thus, the last snip. All The Sadness Of The World is an attempt to reckon with the cruel discrimination that I and many others have often had to grapple with, but it is also something of a jubilation and a joy. I don't know how to balance those extremes sometimes. I don't know how to say, "Yes, it is hard to be blind, and yes, love is such a victory and yes, the fact that we have found love does not mitigate that loss and yes, sometimes we have to mourn in order to rejoice and yes, there is a way to be proud of who you are without discounting what has happened to you." It's SO difficult and yet a conversation that I have so wanted to have over these two years, a story that has poured out of me the moment I begin to type as nothing really has before. And with it being over, I don't want these conversations I'm having with myself and with others to end. There will be more, I hope. So much more. But for now this is The Ableism Story and also the Disabled Joy story and mostly just mine, in a way different than my other works. And is it a perfect portrayal of disability? Absolutely not. I might argue it's impossible to capture that, especially since so few have walked this path—not to discount the amazing things people have done for disabled rights. But I think it's brought me healing, and I could only hope that it will to someone else as well. I hope you'll forgive my dramatic rant. Have some Simon loves Baz content because I'm OBSESSED with it.

“Baz’s head had lolled so that it now rested against Simon's shoulder, and with each passing second, Simon took in with more and more urgency the rough edges of Baz's face. He memorized each contour as a way to make sense of the shattering world, how to cling to the present and convince himself it would soon become the past and make way for something else.

The voices dimmed to a drone around him and he resisted the urge to touch Baz's cheek, wondering if it would be soft or stubbly, how nice it might be to map out the dimensions until he knew them like his own.

Simon had always had a devotion to Baz, hadn't he? His angel, yes. But also, simply, his."

Thank you to @thewholelemon for the tag! Love and admiration to @larkral @carryonmylovelies @artsyunderstudy @skee3000 @userrandomname @raenestee @iamamythologicalcreature @aristocratic-otter @argumentativeantitheticalg @bookish-bogwitch @blackberrysummerblog @hushed-chorus @roomwithanopenfire @hushed-chorus @monbons @drowninginships @valeffelees @youarenevertooold @thatdisabledprincess @messofthejess @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

Thank you for tagging me @run-for-chamo-miles @emeryhall @artsyunderstudy @roomwithanopenfire @j-nipper-95 @best--dress @noblecorgi @prettygoododds @ileadacharmedlife @nausikaaa @rimeswithpurple @forabeatofadrum @monbons! It’s amazing to see the creative out put of this fandom this year!

I have written a lot less this year than in the past. When I first started writing in late 2021 I published roughly 80k words in 4 months, followed by 120k in 2022 and 83k in 2023. This year clocked in at only 46k. Despite the downward trend, I still wrote some stuff. Here’s a list:

🛼 Keep the Skates On - Explicit - 4k

Self indulgent roller skating fic for Erotic Grope Fest that I say is just a blowjob on wheels but in reality has some good backstory built in via flashbacks of their meet cute.

This story was also immortalized via art by the crazy talented Rimeswithpurple. Even just the shot of Baz’s skates and Simon’s shoes is so cinematic and big brained it still blows my mind.

💦Swimple Times, Swimple Pleasures - Mature - 2.5k

Baz and Simon rent a backyard pool for an hour while in Nebraska and sexy times ensue. Hopefully no one is watching…

This was a gift fic meant to immortalized an interesting yet lovely afternoon with friends in Omaha at SSCONE. Good times.

⏱️Back and Back and Back - Mature - 21k (WIP)

My time travel, canon divergent AU in which Baz is visited throughout his childhood by a Dragon Man he comes to find is an older version of his Watford roommate and nemesis.

My poor abandoned WIP. What can I say? It’s fully plotted via outline but I just lost steam writing this one. The school year took over in the fall and it just seemed unwieldy to come back to. But I love this story and playing with what might change in canon with this twist and what could have stubbornly stayed the same. I’m a completionist in many ways so there’s a good chance I’ll come back to this but without anything like a fest deadline lighting a fire under me it may be a while.

🕺The Wedding Planner - Teen - 6k

Baz, the wedding planner for a high profile wedding, gets roped into standing in for the bride in a dance lesson with the groom. The only problem is the frustratingly handsome groom and him have a past…

This fic was written in collaboration with Rimeswithpurple for CORB. Arianna killed it with the art, and it was such a joy to bring words to her idea. This story is a 40k fic disguised in a smaller package. I used a lot of flashbacks to build out the backstory (a similar strategy that I used in Keep the Skates On) which was wonderfully helpful because without it, I doubt I would have been able to write either fic. I think I was really feeling incapable of writing plotty stuff after temporarily shelving Back and Back and Back, and for both of these fics I found I could not write from the beginning because I didn’t want to do the slog through the set up. What ultimately worked for both was opening a new doc, starting the story in the middle, and filling in backstory as I went where necessary. This worked wonders, especially when I was crunched for time or feeling uninspired. I wrote the parts I wanted to write, which helped me get invested, and then the other bits followed easily. I’m such a linear writer that I never thought this strategy would work for me (starting with the scene I wanted to write) but! Cheat code! Start there and still write straight through! Amazing!

🎁 From the Heart - Teen - 12k

Watford, truce era, canon divergent story in which Simon finds Baz’s list of gift ideas for his Secret Santa assignment and freaks out when he realizes it’s for him. Baz? Trying to be thoughtful toward Simon? Cute gift giving crises soon follows.

This was a gift for @bookishbroadwayandblind for the Carry On discord server’s Secret Snowflake Exchange. This was so fun to write. Just fluffy, cute, pining with very low angst and a satisfying get together. Come for the silly premise, stay for the feeeeelings.

It’s nice to see these all stacked up because even though I wrote a lot less this year, AO3 still says I had 3k hits, 391 kudos, 109 comment threads, 77 bookmarks and 42 work subscriptions in 2024. That ain’t nothing! Thank you to everyone who engaged with these stories ✌🏻

Other notable fandom highlights:

-Meeting up with friends in Omaha for SSCONE!

-More meet ups for the Slow Dance release in LA!

-Mod’ing the Carry On Reverse Bang and Secret Snowflake Exchange!

-Tons of beta reading, which I really love doing <3

-Sooo much lovely fic and art was digested. My tbr is still so long but I suppose that’s not a bad problem to have.

Playing my tiny violin for a moment because sometimes we gotta keep it real and share the struggles:

-This was the first year I struggled with keeping up with people’s tumblr tags and posts and I feel a little sad when the notifs pile up and I haven’t responded. Sorry fam!

-Similarly, my AO3 inbox is full of comments I haven’t responded to which also bums me out. I kept it at zero for 3 years (I never delete, I either respond or mark responses as read) and my damn WIP has made me feel incapable of responding to nice comments because I’ve left it languishing. I love our comment culture in this fandom and I would like to get around to responding at some point.

-While organizing and helping to facilitate CORB can be really fun, there were a lot of behind the scenes challenges this year, some of which are still buzzing around my head.

Looking ahead to 2025

As many have said in their own posts, the community and friendships are the best parts of fandom and I hope to continue to cultivate those in 2025. That’s my main goal. Keep these relationships and keep vibing with y’all. I’m sure I’ll still be reading fic and ogling fanart. I’d like to get back to doing more fic rec posts and organizing them in some way. Maybe I’ll finish my WIP. Hopefully I’ll reply to all those lovely comments in my inbox. I might help mod some other fests. CORB is in need of new mods. I’ll organize a way to either get myself some help or possibly pass the torch if there’s interest in it running again.

Tagging some friends if you’d like to share anything about your year @cutestkilla @bookish-bogwitch @shrekgogurt @facewithoutheart @skeedelvee

@thewholelemon @iamamythologicalcreature @orange-peony @leithillustration @whogaveyoupermission

@mooncello @fiend-for-culture @aristocratic-otter @ic3-que3n @blackberrysummerblog

@talentpiper11 @alexalexinii @laura-art77 @whatevertheweather @bookishbroadwayandblind

[skeedelvee]

Carry On Countdown Day 1 - Something Old

For this year's COC I've decided to put together daily fic rec lists! Let me know if you find any new favorite reads from these <3

For todays prompt I've gone with fics written pre-Wayward Son!

To Get to You by ikehgaan

Rated M, 40,437 words

I think of this fic often. Fight kissing! Who could ask for more!

Simon figured the Pitches didn’t exactly encourage being open and honest about feelings. Unsurprising, but a little sad. Baz always acted aloof, as though nothing got to him, except with Simon. Simon could always get to Baz. (When Simon can’t take out his frustration on Baz by fighting him in their room because of the anathema, he resorts to more… unconventional methods).

No Tomorrow by Spockzilla

Rated T, 42,142 words

I will never listen to Take a Chance on Me with out thinking of this fic. It's such a fun take on the time loop trope!

“Why didn’t you wake me?” I growl groggily into my pillow. “It’s not my job to wake you up. Get an alarm clock, you fucking numpty,” he snaps. I wonder if super hearing is a vampire thing. “You threw my alarm clock into the moat first year!” I shout over the music. “Not my problem,” he says, as he slams the door shut behind him.

Cinnamon Lips by @f-ing-ruthless-baz

Rated T, 9,249 words

I love a good drunkenly getting together story and this is a great one!

“Snow, did you drink my Fireball?” “Your what?” He blinks at me, wobbling in place for a second, so I nod at the flask in his hand and he grins. “It tastes like cinnamon sweets and burning,” he says proudly. “That it does. Now hand it over.” He scowls. “You know, you act like you’re so fucking perfect all the time, Mr. Know-It-All, Mr. Good-at-Magic, Mr. Shampoo-Advert-Hair—” “Snow—” “But imagine what people would say if they knew Basilton fucking Pitch, top of the class, hangs out with corpses and drinks cinnamon sweets?”

Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps by stellatundra

Rated M, 3,936 words

Baz sowing some wild oats? Simon getting jealous as hell? Sign me up!

After his kidnapping ordeal, Baz goes to a magickal bar, deciding he deserves just one night to forget about destiny, numpties and Simon Snow. Simon follows him, convinced he’s up to no good, but is taken by surprise when he sees his roommate kissing another boy.

All this soulmate shit by half_witch

I only read this for the first time this year. It is so fun. If you love magic soulmate tropes, this one has just about all of them!

Rated M, 31,573 words

Simon has learned to despise his ‘evil anti-friendmate’ Baz despite being connected to him through magic their entire lives. From sharing luck at ten years old, to mind reading at twelve, to teleportation at seventeen, and the Red String of Fate at twenty—Simon and Baz know only three rules: 1) The New Year’s Eve countdown brings them one new bond to share, 2) The bond only lasts the year, and 3) Bonds NEVER occur twice. But this year, the magic is out of their control and seems hellbent on bringing them closer together—even if it kills them.

I Hoped It Was You by EllisyaSyron

Simon and Baz fall for each other without knowing they're talking to each other. It's like You've Got Mail, but better since neither of them lose their family bookstore in the end. Excellent dialogue!

Rated T, 8,901 words

as requested by anon: "au where baz and simon start talking online bc baz writes drarry fics and simon draws fanart and they do a collab (they don't know that it's them)" BlackPrince: I want to kiss you. SSPuffPride: I want to kiss you too. I wish I could BlackPrince: ...Tell me how you would.

Unspoken Rules and Simon's Nights by @lilmcgil

Rated E, 5,503 and 5,822 words respectively

This was one of the first Snowbaz fics that I ever got obsessed with. Both fics are truly excellent!

Simon and Baz develop a nightly routine. In the daylight they pretend it's not happening.

Companion piece to Unspoken Rules. Same plot line, but from Simon's perspective. I think it would make more sense if you read that first. But don't let that keep you from reading this if you haven't! Be a rebel if you want.

If you have any recs that fit the prompt that I've missed, feel free to leave them in the comments! There's plenty of gaps in my reading so there's a good chance I may not have read it.

Also I've had a hard time finding if some people are here on Tumblr, so if you know someone who hasn't been tagged, feel free to leave that in the comments as well <3

@carryon-countdown

[orange-peony]

Thanks for tagging me @pato-roldnart and @monbons!

I think I'm almost done with the first chapter of one of my CORBB collabs (hopefully?). Here's a bit of Simon's POV:

I’ve always been drawn to him like a moth to the brightest and most blinding light. I don’t get him. I don’t get him at all. The way he carries himself, as if he were superior and above everyone else. The way he still listened to me every time I poured my heart out to him, without making fun of me. He’s rich and posh, but he always looks so sad. And the way he has to look at me sometimes…

The way he somehow knows when I’m at my lowest and always buys me a drink or something to eat.

He said his mother died when he was little. That it was a car accident. That the car caught fire, but his mother managed to push him out of it before it was too late.

I wonder if he has scars. If underneath those expensive clothes he’s not as put together as he looks. I think he would look perfect with a few scars. I found myself dying to know what he looks like naked on so many occasions while I was talking to him or making him coffee. Penny says I’m obsessed with him. Shep always smiles and says there’s nothing wrong with having a healthy crush or an unhealthy obsession for someone. I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know if it’s a crush or something else. If it’s something more. I don’t even know if I fancy blokes.

All I can think of is Baz, Baz, Baz.

I want to rip off every layer of him, like old wallpaper, until I’m left with the real Baz. The one nobody gets to see.

Tags under the cut:

@pato-roldnart , @bubble-gumhead , @cutestkilla , @thewholelemon , @artsyunderstudy , @leithillustration , @iamamythologicalcreature , @mooncello , @hushed-chorus , @larkral , @letraspal , @you-remind-me-of-the-babe , @facewithoutheart , @emeryhall , @imagineacademia , @alexalexinii , @fatalfangirl , @wellbelesbian , @shrekgogurt , @skeedelvee , @blackberrysummerblog , @rimeswithpurple and anyone who fancies sharing a WIP of any kind.

[confused-bi-queer]

Simon during the first half of CO sounds genuinely angry at the existence of Baz. When I first read it, I didn't care to think he would eventually get together with Baz with all that hatred he had for him. And then, I thought that was just what I thought happened, but now on my reread, Simon really is mad at him. He's so upset.

Because now that I've just read the dragon scene, Simon's whole character just changed. He sound so incredibly drawn to Baz ever since he floated to help him with the dragon. This is the first time Simon looks stunned by him and that he doesn't sound so angry.

And I love it. I love how I can picture him perfectly, staring at Baz in awe after being helped. And that's so beautiful.

Simon sounding very angry for the first half of the book made me wonder what led him later to kiss Baz, but now that he's been strucked by Baz's beauty at existing and helping, it's so obvious.

After the dragon leaves Watford, Penny and Possibelf approach Simon and Baz to congratulate their work, but Simon sounds like he can't take his eyes off Baz. And Penny tries to make Simon's magic work on her, but he keeps taking her hand off him, as if he didn't care about anything that's not Baz. This happens all the book, but here it's obvious and transparent. Simon no longer wants to catch Baz "plotting" by looking at him, he now just wants to stare at him.

That dragon scene changed Simon. Gorgeous.

[liaromancewriter]

Winter Wonderland

Premise: Cassie and Ethan enjoy the holiday decorations around town, leading to a candid conversation about their relationship.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: Teen. Fluff. Words: 1,475

A/N: This is set during the Secret Dating phase in Lia Land. Submission for @choicesholidays Winter 2024 and @choicesjanuary2025 prompt "hot chocolate:

Cassie Valentine discreetly glanced at her wristwatch beneath the table, wondering if there was still a chance to salvage her evening plans.

She had already changed into street clothes an hour ago and was ready to clock out when she received a page to report to the Diagnostics Team office. Dr. Ramsey had been clear from the start. The team’s schedule was unpredictable, and all members had to forego time off as needed.

As the latest and the most junior member, Cassie had to flex more than others since she was juggling a tough residency and diagnostics fellowship. Still, there was an upside to all the time spent at work—she got to do it with her boyfriend.

Not that anyone else knew the delectable Ethan Ramsey was hers, she mused with secret amusement. She knew, and that was all that mattered.

She side-eyed Ethan at the front of the conference table, facing the videoconference screen she hadn’t known existed until today. His eyes were alive with curiosity and interest as they consulted with a colleague in California. The virtual consult would determine if the team was required on-site for the diagnosis.

Cassie wouldn’t mind a couple of days of sunshine. Winter had Boston firmly in its grip. Of course, there was something magical about walking through a winter wonderland during the holiday season. Twinkling lights strung on palm trees didn’t have the same appeal as snow-dusted oak trees.

“Thank you, Dr. Amherst. We’ll review the patient file and get back to you tomorrow.”

Ethan wrapped up the call, and Cassie refocused her attention on the job at hand. She really hoped tomorrow didn’t mean they would be working late into the night. But, with this team, you never knew.

“I don’t know about the rest of you,” Baz said, stretching his arms, “but I could use a break before we work on the diagnosis.”

“I agree,” June said. “I’d rather come in early and approach the case with fresh eyes.”

Cassie held her breath in anticipation. Ethan seemed to hesitate, but then he nodded in agreement.

“Let’s pick this up tomorrow morning. Not much else we can do today.”

Baz and June wasted no time gathering their things and heading out. Cassie wasn’t far behind, but she stopped when she saw Ethan sit down at his desk and flip open the patient file.

“It’s late, Ethan,” she said, not hiding her exasperation. “Are you really planning to keep working?”

“I just want to go over things while they’re still fresh in my mind,” he said, sliding on his glasses.

He looked up at her. “Go home, Cassie. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not going home,” she said, settling into the seat across from him. “I’m heading to Faneuil Hall to check out the Christmas tree and holiday decorations. Come with me.”

Ethan smirked, amused. “Isn’t that for tourists?”

“And for doctors who’ve spent fourteen-plus hours in a space that smells like antiseptic. I went last year, and it was nice.”

He rolled his eyes. “I see those decorations every day on my way to work. I’ll pass.”

“Fine,” Cassie said, pulling out her phone. “If you change your mind, you’ll know where to find me.”

When his phone pinged, Ethan glanced at the screen. “What’s this?”

“I just shared my location with you,” she explained. “I’ll keep it on until I get home.”

Almost ten minutes later, Cassie stepped out of the car, thanked her rideshare driver, and drew in a deep breath of the crisp evening air.

Just what I needed, she thought, feeling the tiredness fade away.

The scent of roasted chestnuts and pine mingled with the faint melody of holiday carolers stationed near Quincy Market. Strings of twinkling white and multicolored lights wound their way around the lampposts and tree trunks, casting a soft glow on the historic architecture.

Huddled inside her thick parka, Cassie trekked down the cobblestone streets, her boots crunching softly against the uneven stones as she admired the holiday wreaths adorning shop doors, their vibrant ribbons fluttering in the brisk evening breeze.

Tourists exclaimed excitedly at storefronts showcasing meticulously arranged scenes of snow-covered villages, glittering ornaments and festive garlands. Meanwhile, hardy Bostonians paid no mind to the spectacle, staying laser-focused on their holiday shopping lists.

Cassie treated herself to a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a bag of tiny, freshly fried donuts before settling onto a bench outside Faneuil Hall to people-watch.

A massive Christmas tree towered over the square, draped in a cascade of shimmering gold and silver lights that seemed to light up the night sky. Nearby, a family of four posed for a picture in front of an illuminated reindeer installation while a couple took a selfie, their cheeks rosy from the cold as they huddled close.

“Got room for one more?”

Cassie’s heart lifted at the sound of her lover's familiar voice. She turned to see Ethan and couldn’t help but break into a wide smile.

“Always.” She shifted to make room for him beside her.

“Christ! It’s fuckin’ cold tonight,” he shuddered as the wind picked up.

“You should’ve grabbed a hot chocolate on the way,” Cassie teased, taking an exaggerated sip from hers. “Here.”

She offered him the bag of still-warm donuts, grinning when a dusting of sugar landed on his coat and the corner of his mouth as he took a bite.

“Relax, babe,” she said with a laugh as he muttered about the mess, brushing away the sugar particles with a napkin. “You missed a spot.”

Cassie leaned in and licked the sugar from the corner of his lips. Ethan turned his head, his lips brushing against hers, and then he placed two fingers under her chin, holding her in place as he kissed her deeply and without hesitation.

Firecrackers burst in the distance—or was it her racing heartbeat and the rush of blood to her head? Cassie didn’t know or care as she fell into the moment.

All too soon, their lips drifted apart and the kiss faded into a whisper as their foreheads touched, sharing a quiet, unspoken connection.

“Excuse me?” a man’s voice interrupted. Cassie glanced up to see the other half of the couple who had been taking selfies earlier. “Sorry to disturb you, but could you…?”

He held out his phone to Ethan, then glanced uncertainly back at his girlfriend. Cassie grinned at Ethan’s hesitation and decided to take pity on him.

“I’ll do it,” she offered, stepping forward.

She took a few photos as the couple wrapped their arms around each other and struck playful poses for the camera. The last photo had them kissing softly under the Christmas tree lights. Cassie thought it might be the best one of all, envying the openness of their relationship.

As the couple walked away, thanking her with bright smiles, Cassie sighed wistfully and settled back onto the bench beside Ethan.

“What’s that sigh about?” he asked, raising a curious brow.

“Nothing,” she said, avoiding his gaze as she gathered the empty cup and paper bag to toss in the trash.

“Do you wish we weren’t keeping our relationship secret?”

Cassie was always amazed at how astutely Ethan could read her feelings. She supposed it was inevitable when two people had been in an intimate relationship of one type or another for almost nine months.

“We’re private people.”

“That’s not what I asked, Cassie.” He took her hand, intertwining their fingers. “Do you want to go public?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Our families and my close friends know. It should be enough.”

“But…?”

Cassie rolled her eyes. He could be relentless, like a dog with a bone. She knew he wouldn’t drop it easily.

“But I hate how the nurses flirt with you at work while I have to pretend it doesn’t bother me. Or how, if we took a selfie right now, I couldn’t post it on Picta because, as far as the world knows, I’m single.”

“I’m not posing for a selfie on Picta under any circumstances,” Ethan murmured.

“Wanna bet?” she shot back, glaring at him.

Ethan smirked, his lips twitching as if to hold back a retort. Instead, he leaned in closer, his voice low and teasing. “You’d lose that bet, Dr. Valentine.”

Cassie raised an eyebrow, a challenge glinting in her eyes. “Careful, babe. I always play to win.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Come on, let’s get out of here before I freeze my balls off sitting on this icy bench.”

She grabbed her things and fell into step beside him, their fingers brushing but not quite holding. As they walked into the twinkling glow of the holiday lights, Cassie glanced at him, a quiet smile tugging at her lips.

Maybe the world didn’t need to know about them just yet. Moments like this were enough.

A/N: In case you were wondering. Ethan lost that bet. 😂

-----------------

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @jerzwriter @justyourusualash @lady-calypso @kyra75 @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @snoopdogcone @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @loreofyore

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @youlookappropriate

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 12 relisten notes

Celia:

- requests tea, not coffee, the OIAR custom. points to her being from the TMA universe + bonus thing! there was no tea in the OIAR and sam lended her some. potentially a demonstration of their relationship dynamic lore-wise (celia representing other-wordly things and sam's insistence on interacting w them. this is definitely a reach, though, since im very much a 'the curtains are never just blue' person)

- she agrees to go out with sam but needs to "sort some things out" maybe related to jack, georgie, or her individual research

Sam:

- he asked her out! oh my god (alice's father)!

- is trying to distance himself from the magnus institute (TMI) but is still unable to break his curiosity about it

Alice:

- watched sam ask out celia (we can assume it was with the manner of a deer in the headlights)

- "its rude to have no game" i love you maam

- no glitch after she says "i cant believe im missing out on all of this- devastating" but could be because it comes off as more sarcastic than a blunt lie

- "we dont always get what we want, do we?" potentially a hint at her feeling about sam

- "i go by alice, now, actually" important only because i adore you miss dyer

- seems to genuinely care about gwen, lending to the idea that shes protecting her coworkers

- "i dont wonder. i know" no glitch followed this statement. it could be because it was meant as a joke and not to deceive gwen, but who is to say

Gwen:

- she's trying to discuss the morality of their roles and seems to be unhappy to participate in mascot strip club murder

- "you dont wonder what the point is? who benefits from all this awfulness?"

Glitches/lies:

- "dont worry about it, it wasnt that bad" alice, referencing TMI

- "no." sam, lying about not being interested in information about TMI

Incident:

- this is the result of gwen giving mr bonzo the hit, and it seems to have been read at her computer (once again implying theres a consciousness within FR3D1 or jmj)

- incident made by jordan bennett -> maybe related to this universe's bennett family (connection to barnabas bennett) but i doubt its lore relevant

- no obvious alchemic ties in this incident

- this case is narrated by norris/martin, but goes against the regular theme of his incidents (lonliness, loss of a loved one)

- the robotic sound of the narration seems to be diminishing, with very little of the beginning and end of the incidents being read in a monotone and robotic voice

- i want to voice my deepest appreciation for the title being "getting off", along with mr bonzo initiating a hit for the uk government in a strip club. incredible. absolute cinema from the minds of AJN and johhny sims truly

The target:

- before this episode, my theory was that klaus, colin, and teddy were the most likely to be the hit

- based on this list, if the target is the groom, it makes the most sense for it to be klaus, since there has been no mention of colin or teddy being engaged, and thats a clue i dont think the writers would leave out. however, the groom is called "baz" by his friends, which is a nickname i dont recognize (but its potentially on the rpg somewhere?)

- im not very convinced that klaus was the groom in this incident. i think the hit may have been obvious to lena, but gwen has yet to connect all the dots, leaving the audience a bit in the dark as well

[cutestkilla]

Good morning and thanks for the tag @thewholelemon, I'm living for your quippy V!Baz narration. Since I was already here procrastinating the procrastination ask post, I figured I might as well not procrastinate this post. So, some more from the upcoming Ch 5 of Hiding Out in the Open, for which I have my full POV-by-POV zero draft of done (P.S. thanks for that term @valeffelees it perfectly encompasses my process).

The question hangs in the air, and I wonder if I’ve got it wrong. If I were the old me, I’d just take the plunge. Take what I want. Steal the kiss. But I’m not, and the me I am now is terrified. Not because I might be gay. (Or whatever this would mean I am.) Not of kissing a boy. Of kissing Baz. And fucking this all up, this thing between us. The part of it that’s working.  The part of it that feels like the only thing keeping me alive.

^^SUBJECT TO CHANGE because I just took my dirty zero draft and wrote that chunk properly 3 minutes ago.

Anyway, some tags for my lovelies under the cut!

@artsyunderstudy @shrekgogurt @hushed-chorus @ivelovedhimthroughworse @creepyspice @bookish-bogwitch @whatevertheweather @aristocratic-otter @emeryhall @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @valeffelees @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @moodandmist @forabeatofadrum @mooncello @monbons @angelsfalling16 @best--dress @blackberrysummerblog @brilla-brilla-estrellita @captain-aralias @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @confused-bi-queer @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @j-nipper-95 @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @messofthejess @nightimedreamersworld @onepintobean @orange-peony @palimpsessed @prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @run-for-chamo-miles @stitchy-queerista @technetiumai @that-disabled-princess @theearlgreymage @urban-sith @whogaveyoupermission @youarenevertooold

[musicallychaos]

WIP Wednesday!

This fic is SO NOT DONE but I want to post it RIGHT NOW because I'm feral about it.

Baz is figuring out his experience of gender and doesn't know what to do when he experiences tiny moments of dysphoria, especially from Simon just trying to be kind

IT GETS BETTER but I wanna share the angsty bit:

Simon

Baz wears the pyjamas I gave him every night. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, him with that soft little smile, doing up buttons on a flannel shirt before climbing into bed to read. 

I wish I could meet myself when I was thirteen or so and show him a picture of Baz’s soft smile. I’d say “this is the person you think is the most evil monster on the planet,” and watch him get all confused. 

Instead, I just tell Baz, “You’re adorable.” 

His smile gets softer. I’m going to melt him like butter, softening little by little. “Only for you, Snow,” he says. Even his smirk can be soft. 

“I don’t want you to go back to work,” I whine when he gets into bed. It’s Sunday night. Tomorrow, I’m waking up early to bake, and Baz will be at Watford when I get home. 

“Well, what would I do around here in the mornings without you?” Baz says, as if he’s considering it. 

“Probably look out the window and sigh dramatically,” I say. “You’d look so hot, like an album cover.” 

“But you wouldn’t be there to see it,” He sighs, dramatically. I was right, it’s hot. 

“How did I end up with the sexiest man alive?” I say, pushing my shoulder into his.

We play this game all the time. I say he’s the best boyfriend, the kindest person, the most anything, and then I remind him that he’s alive. He always says “not alive,” even though I know he doesn’t mean it anymore. 

But he doesn’t say “not alive.” He doesn’t say anything. 

“Baz?” I say. I nudge his shoulder. 

“Sorry, Simon!” he says. He’s smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I spaced out.” 

Baz doesn’t ‘space out.’ He ponders, or gets lost in thought, but it’s not like that. He isn’t dragged away from the present moment kicking and screaming like I do. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask. Something’s wrong. 

“Nothing’s wrong!” He practically shouts. Something is very wrong. 

I reach out for his hand, but he pulls it away. He rolls onto his side, facing away from me, and pretends to fall asleep. He knows I know his breathing, I know how it changes when he drifts off. He doesn’t care. 

I didn’t get enough sleep, or anywhere close to enough sleep, for that matter. I stared at Baz’s back for hours, like when we were in school. I knew he wasn’t asleep and I didn’t care. If I stayed awake too, he could change his mind whenever he wanted and talk to me about whatever’s wrong. He didn’t. Or he did, after two am, which is when I passed out. I didn’t mean to. I would have stayed up all night if my body had given me a choice. 

Baz is laying on his back now, like he does when he’s actually sleeping. I wonder if he turned over before he fell asleep, or after. I get dressed quietly. It really does feel like when we were in school. I’m thinking about changing in the bathroom, like I don’t want him to wake up and see me naked. 

I run through our conversation again. Maybe he really didn’t want us both to go back to work. Maybe he’s like a dog with separation anxiety. No. We have that conversation at the end of every vacation. It’s always hard to go back to work and schedules and not seeing each other properly until the evening. But he’s always okay. We always hold each other a little tighter, knowing we’ll have to let go for a few hours. 

But I can’t think of what else it could be. 

I press a kiss to his temple, right where his ear turns into his face. “I love you,” I say. “Have a great day in class.” 

And then I go to work. 

Baz

I’m an asshole. I already knew that, but Merlin, I’m an asshole. I wake up alone in bed. Snow left for work hours ago. I feel like I’m going to cry. Instead, I get out of bed and go piss. I don’t cry until I’m washing my hands and I realize I’m wearing long-sleeve, floral print pyjamas that Simon got me for Christmas. They’re warm. I had never woken up warm without him before. I’m such a dick. 

I don’t even know what I want from him. Back in fifth year, Simon found me in the catacombs, once. He shouted at me, “I know what you are!” It made it so much easier when I didn’t have to be the one to tell him. I don’t want to tell him this, either. I want him to shout it at me in the catacombs. If he did that, I wouldn’t have to figure out what this is. 

Maybe that’s what I’d do, if I didn’t go back to Watford. I’d look at my laptop and sigh dramatically when none of the words were right, and then Simon would come home and I’d pretend to have been sighing at the window. 

And then, apparently, he’d call me the sexiest man alive and I’d take it as an insult. 

I hunt and drink, then come back to the flat to make coffee. There’s probably enough time to stop at the bakery on the way to Watford. I could pull him aside and tell him I’m sorry, that I was just tired and anxious about the term starting. He’d forgive me. He’d tell me there was nothing to forgive. 

Instead, I put on a grey suit and drive to school. 

When I get home, I barely remember teaching. I want Simon to still be at work, so I can go on not apologizing to him. It’s not that I’m not sorry. I want him to let me be sorry. I want his old bite, the one that would make me grovel at his feet for something like this. He’s never been that kind of boyfriend. I need to apologize to a sixteen-year-old Snow. 

“Hey, love,” he says when I open the door. 

“I’m sorry,” I say back. 

“You don’t have anything to-” He starts. I cut him off.

“Yes I do,” I say. I think it sounds like I’m snapping at him. 

“Okay, then I forgive you,” Simon says. Honestly that’s just as bad. “I just wish you’d tell me what’s going on.” 

He’s sitting on the sofa. The whole flat smells like whatever we’re having for dinner. Something Indian, if I’m going off the spices. I sit down next to him and fall into his lap. He runs his hands through my hair. Every stroke is begging, pleading. 

“What if I don’t know?” I ask, so softly that he might not hear me. 

“Then we could not know together,” he says. Those are the words, but his tone just says please, please, please. 

I recognize that tone. It was my only voice for a year after we left Watford. I remember how much it hurt to feel like that was the only way to get him to talk to me. I need to talk to him. 

A timer starts going off in the kitchen. SImon flips it off. “I’m not getting up,” he says. 

I sit up. “I still need to eat, don’t I?” 

I have to shove him off the sofa, but he does go take the lid off of a pan and stir it around. We’re having some kind of tiki masala. 

I spend the rest of the next two days with a mantra. I need to talk to Simon.

[whatevertheweather]

Hi hello. I miss y'all. That is my own fault but it's still true, and I'm writing this on saturday night and feeling maudlin about how wonderful and talented and dear this fandom is and how I never join in anymore, so I'm making my little post okay.

I'm going with Musical Chairs again because it's so far past time for that to be done. And I've said this before, but it is approaching done. And I'm gonna get into that, but it'll all be behind the scenes rambling, so it's below the cut, and for those who don't want to delve that far, here is some freshly written Penny POV.

“Ah,” Shepard smiled, “a good deed wasn’t motive enough on its own?” “Not when it’s for a stupid reason.” “What is your un-stupid reason?” “Un-stupid?” Penny repeated. She turned resolutely to her drink. “Nevermind. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” “Hey now,” Shepard said, ducking into her line of sight. “You struck me as someone who prefers being honest.” It was a job not to smile at that, but Penny put the work in.

Now for the mess.

It's a good mess I think. I have a new section in my miscellany document, tucked in between nine (9) sections of ramblings and cut scenes, and the new section is called "we got it this time boys," and I think it's right. I've written a full draft of the scene that's been holding us all back. It's there in its entirety, it just needs to be edited. And I'm so scared to reread it, because every time I think I got this scene right I come back and it's wrong. Which I've decided to be fine with, because so what!!! So what if I got 36k right and there's 5k that doesn't quite hit the way I want it to!!! The earth will keep spinning!!!

Anyway, "we got it this time boys" is 3 pages of what is technically kind of an outline for 5 pages of story, and every time I read the header it's in the voice of someone from some black-and-white hardboiled detective noir, which brings me the joy that might be the only reason I feel I've gotten it right in the first place. The outline is all written about as cohesively as it starts:

I think maybe, and gosh haven’t I said this a million times, I just need to stop trying to go that way. Stop trying to go any way. Like always “how do I get them to this moment” instead of “what would they do in this situation.” Unfortunately, the latter requires I connect with them on a level I’m not sure I can right now. But I guess let’s try. Actually let’s go for a walk, I can see the sun setting on the top of the house across the way and it’s lovely. Okay nice, it was lovely. Relaxing, refreshing. Saw a stump that looked like a beaver. Saw a cat. Thought of the opening to something I’m never going to write. So anyway,

It also sort of ends with:

Oh shit came up on an obstacle immediately. [Redacted]. This does not actually open the door for Baz to say something that can incite “[Redacted].” Fuck god okay whoops already going completely back on all I’ve decided and thinking maybe we could keep some of the new exchange I’d written, maybe he does reveal the ugh no stop I hate this. Just figure out a transition to bring in [...], what would Baz say to that other than what I’ve written him saying to that which doesn’t work for what I’m trying to do. I guess it could just be, like…he murmurs incorrigible. Or something. With a raised brow, a la baz. Sure let’s do that, however, I’ve laid down to do this and learned I’m actually quite sleepy, so let’s do it another time. Hopefully I don’t come up on another immediate problem and despair. Just remember not to start combining things and rereading things yet, okay. Please.

This would be alarming if I hadn't already gotten past this point and written the thing. So I'm going to go into editing it with the mindset that nothing substantial shall change and boohoo to me if I want it to, and once that's done we're pretty much home free.

Now tags.

Gonna dip a toe back into being melancholy and wistful about this fandom k, I really do miss it even though I'm the only one keeping me out. You're all my friends even if that is a surprise for you to hear because we haven't talked in months or maybe ever, but I love each and every one of you x

@fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @moodandmist @cutestkilla @artsyunderstudy

@bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @mooncello @noblecorgi @alexalexinii

@rimeswithpurple @ivelovedhimthroughworse @basiltonbutliketheherb @whogaveyoupermission @facewithoutheart

@martsonmars @iamamythologicalcreature @run-for-chamo-miles @thewholelemon

@forabeatofadrum @youarenevertooold @ileadacharmedlife @monbons

[leiflitter]

Felix calling Oliver's office with an "emergency" and he was just lonely and needed to talk to him.

Whenever the desk phone rang, Oliver jumped. Stupid, really, that he even had a phone on his desk- they were in the digital age, everything was done on his laptop- but old habits died hard, and Oxford was built on old.

It probably wasn't anything important, anyway. Maybe he had some post to collect from a porter in another building, or some ancient acquaintance from a conference was calling to discuss something he'd published. Oliver was in two minds as to actually answering, but he ought to take a break soon. Go grab a coffee, text Felix, then text Felix again to say no, he wasn’t going to take any slutty pictures in his office.

Then he'd probably end up taking a selfie or two. Just to keep Felix happy, which meant when he got home...

He'd lifted the phone without thinking, giving his head a little shake before clearing his throat. "Associate Professor Oliver Quick, English-"

"Hi, Oliver." June's reedy voice always made Oliver feel like he should call his mother. She reminded him of Paula in far too many ways; he wasn't sure how long she'd been one of the reception staff, but if she retired the whole place would definitely crumble. "I have your fiancé on the other line- he says it's an emergency?"

"Fuck- sorry, sorry, June, did he say what it was, or... No, don't worry, just put him through?" Oliver trapped the phone between his shoulder and ear, hurriedly slamming his laptop closed and wondering how quickly he could be ready to go. The phone wasn't considerate enough to be wireless, and he didn't think he could reach his coat, but... June said something before there was a click, and Oliver tried to drag his laptop bag out from under the desk with one foot. "Felix? What's happened, June said it was an emergency, are you- or the kids- or Basil?"

"Oh."

Oliver's blood ran cold.

"Actually, Ollie-love, it... You weren't texting back, so I was a bit worried and I might have decided to make sure you were alright. I'd have emailed but I'd have to make a new one, seeing as my actual email's blocked, so... Calling it was."

"I told you I wasn't coming back for lunch today, Felix. You scared the shit out of me." Oliver collapsed back into his chair, gingerly reopening his laptop. Relief washed over him when he saw the screen was intact, and he crossed one arm over his chest, holding the phone with the other hand. "I thought... I don’t know. Someone had died, or something. You've got to find something to do, Felix."

"I have something to do, Oliver." Felix almost sounded indignant, before his voice dropped to a purr. "You. Except you're not here, so..."

"Felix, you're awful." Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. If he gave in, then he'd be reenforcing this behaviour, and it'd happen again and again and again... "Give me a minute. I'll call you back on my mobile?"

"Video call?" Felix was outrageously hopeful.

"Video call. Just... Felix?" There was a moment before a nonchalant hum down the line meant Felix hadn't hung up. "Give Baz his licky mat in the living room before you get your cock out? I've got about fifteen minutes, and if he interrupts- that's it, til I get home. Got it?"

"Aye aye, captain."

Oliver hung up.