#i woke up too early and couldn't go back to sleep so I wrote this instead

[whosname]

Oh, yeah, here's a second post about Gintama's Live-action adaptations. I'm a total completionist so I not only watched the second movie, I had to find the Mitsuba arc and then @sebfreak pointed me to the other miniseries, so... (sorry if it's a long post, while I'm not drawing my brain can't stop)

Right, the Mitsuba arc

Loved they include the spicy parfait scene, I mean, the cgi is what it is, but I have a lot of respect for 'em even trying,

Zaki's afro? chef's kiss, simply delicious

I mean:

Also, Hijikata's reacion to the spicy snacks? delicious. These guys are good at funny faces.

Loved the Gin's pretending to be sleeping scene, missed the part about the black circles under his eyes, tho.

(Look, it was very difficult to find the three parts of the drama, I got 'em from 3 different places and every place has it's own subtitles on indonesian or french. Also, the quality? oh my, the quality was terrible by the third part)

This is a fucking sad arc, daaaamn, and this being a drama... well, it's even more dramatic. I mean, that last scene on the roof? it always breaks my heart.

And now, for something completely different, the mini-series thingy.

The episodes they choose to adapt are... interesting, I mean who in their right mind chooses those three? okay, I love how weird the decision is.

I love the details on the one were Kagura can't sleep, I mean, the Dragon Ball mangas, the justaway alarm clock, Gintoki's pajamas.

Holy shit, the make up, the Napoleon thing, the radio drama, "I didn't get enough sleep, and I'm starting to hear strange things"; I love this episode.

And then, the one were Hijikata can't smoke, maaaan, this episode was like a fever dream in the anime and the live-action is so on point. The whole Namek planet thing, "I'm going to defeat Breeza!", "I'm trying to revive Grillin!", the cgi is not that bad, I mean, slimy grimmy Shen Long could've looked worst. Also, I insist, Hijikata's actor is so stupid good at expressions.

And, finally, the dentist episode, another fever dream. I'm very afraid of the dentist so, yeah, can confirm that People of All Ages Hate the Dentist!. Also, again, their expressions!; Hasegawa!; the treatment! This episode may have worsen my fear of the dentist

I love the way this live-actions thingies keep the whole Gintama spirit, I love that the first scene on the Rules are Made to be Broken movie is the still shot from Yorozuya HQ and it's just these idiots talking over it. If I've watched this on the cinema I would've cheered like the stupid weeabo I am (I told a friend yesterday "I went from 0 to otaku in like 3 moths" so there).

I'm so thankful for Zura's piracy thing disclaimer.

Otose!!! OMFG, I love her!

"Work! We have to find work, Gin-san!" "I don't want to!" MOOD FOREVER!

I love how they all try very hard not to laugh in the scenes with this guy, they failed, but I love it.

We've already talked about Zura's gender but... come on! how fucking amazing they are??!

Oh, and the Katsurap and then Pako (I mean, they changed her name here, but I still like Pako more 'cause Ginko is a different character, come on!) carrying her on her back.

"It's the Shogun!" aaah, you didn't fail me, Rules are Made to be Broken.

And then the hairdresser thing. I can't stop thanking you, Rules are Made to be Broken.

I guess the whole chip on Toshi's neck is weird, but maybe the whole sword thing would've been longer to explain so probably it was best for simplicity.

On that note, "Sakatashi"

"You're a Neet. You're thinking like a total Neet!" "Is that so? You guys look like pretty big Neets too." "Who the hell is a Neet?! We are hard-working workers now!"

So, yeah, I can forgive the the chip thing ONLY for the scene at Gengai's shop. Toshi, pilot the EVA.

I can't believe how close to the original is the scene were Gintoki catches Toshi by his neck and they all run away from those Shinsengumi guys.

"You tax thieves" <3

this look badass, I mean...

We have little Takasugi action in this one, but hell, I don't care, I love his scenes with Bansai. Also, Bansai, of course.

Now, this is were I feel this goes weird, Bansai's gonna try to kill the (freaking) Shogun in a total different location form the train thing. It's... weird. Tho, Bansai looks amazing on his motorcycle.

I've said this a thousand time already, but I don't care, Kagura's really Gintoki's clone, I bloody love her.

Now, I don't fell Gintoki has a real motivation to go a fight Bansai in Edo, it never convinced me. I grateful for the Raccoon Bus scene, tho, I laughed like a maniac (look, I know I need to sleep more), but... dunno "then Takasugi Shinsuke will start killing people!" wasn't enough for me. Oh, and Zura, I love that they use every excuse to use Zura but still... weird?

I really like to like the first part of Gintoki vs Bansai but... too matrix~y too... the choreography is kind of cool, the shots between fights too but the whole matrix thing... I didn't like it.

BUT! the strings thing, that I liked.

And then the last scene at the dango place, I liked it a lot, I love when they did that on the anime averytime.

[nnnn99999]

So I watched the warp effect (I am officially in my joongdunk era and I have accepted my fate). After stewing on it for a few days there is one aspect of this show that refuses to leave my mind. I am talking about the commentary on trauma and rejection explored through Jean, Kat, Alex, Captain and Tony. (All of the following is my interpretation of the show. I am not sure if some these were actually intended by the creator of the show or stuff I just made up in my head on my own. Because I have indeed done that before many times. Well this is what I got from the show whether it was intended or not.)

Jean had a traumatizing sexual experience with Alex, whereas Kat had a traumatizing rejection experience with Captain. Jean and Kat were in completely different situations, having completely different traumas that manifested in completely different ways. However, what remains the same is the fact that trauma changed them both as people. It changed the way they interact with people, and it changed the way they thought about themselves.

I believe that trauma, no matter how big or small, will change a person forever, sometimes overtly and sometimes so subtly that the people themselves don't realize it. And even if they manage to overcome that trauma and move on in life, those changes that trauma caused don't magically go away, they remain as a part of their personality. The show reflected this too.

Jean's change was very obvious, probably because till the end of the original timeline she was never able to get over her trauma. Her conversation with Kat on the rooftop of their school revealed how she lost her confidence because of her experience with Alex. Years later, it was through another conversation with Kat by the swimming pool that it was made obvious that she still hadn't regained that confidence. It was pretty obvious in the JeanKat bar scene too. Jean was never able to forgive Alex despite liking him in the original timeline, and she was never able to forget her trauma either.

Kat's change is also pretty obvious at first. She understandably felt extremely insecure and unsafe, fearing she will get attacked even though she knew Captain was in jail. It is this fear that pushes her more towards Alex and making her somewhat dependent on him. I thought it was pretty ironic that Alex was the one who caused Jean's trauma yet he is also the one healing Kat's trauma. Alex made Kat feel safe. And while I do believe that Kat did like Alex to some extent (she had been hooking up with him regularly for 10 whole years), the reason she wanted to date Alex was not because she liked him but because she felt safe with him. She was seeking security from Alex, not love. The result was that it became very difficult for her to bounce back to her previous carefree lifestyle despite still not wanting to be tied down by anyone. Even though she was able to come out of the trauma Captain caused her, her attitude towards men, especially unfamiliar men, had completely changed.

It is at this point in my essay that I must declare that Tony is my favorite character in this show. And it's not entirely because he is played by Joong. Tony healed a part of me that I was struggling with for a long time. That is why he has a very special place in my heart. It is because I haven't found a Tony in real life that I am still single. (Yes, I am pushing the blame of my forever singleness on a fictional character I just found recently.) (Yes, before that I blamed it on other fictional men I didn't like half as much as I like Tony.)

My most favorite scene in this show is the one where Jean rejects Tony after trying to sleep with him. The way Jean reacted after reliving her trauma, the way Tony immediately picked up on her discomfort, the way he tried to reassure her that they didn't need to sleep together despite having no idea what went wrong, the way this reassurance did nothing to comfort Jean. The rejection from Jean, especially after she had been the initiator of the whole situation, was surely very hurtful for Tony and also a huge blow to his ego. Yet, he had the kindness and patience to let Jean say everything she wanted to say to him. He also had the empathy to wish her well when he still had no idea what she was struggling with. I also love that he left immediately after instead of trying to stay and comfort Jean. She told him to leave, and he did. No questions asked. And he managed to do all of that while being in a very vulnerable situation.

I feel like I have to mention the CaptainKat rejection scene even though I really don't want to. It made me way too uncomfortable. Let's just say that the main reason Captain lashed out at Kat was that he couldn't heal his bruised ego. I will never understand how you could hit someone you apparently like enough to want to date them.

Moving on to another scene I really liked, the bedroom scene with Kat and Tony. Actually, Kat and Tony happen to be my favorite pairing from this show. I find their dynamics to be very interesting. I kind of want a Kat and Tony spinoff where it shows how their relationship progressed in the original timeline. Kat and Tony hooking up was to be expected after their first encounter at the bar. Tony clearly found Kat attractive, and he was clearly intrigued by her attitude (my man has a type and I don't fit that at all, so I would be single even if Tony was real). If he had not been pursuing Jean at the time, and if he had not been the loyal type, he would have totally hooked up with Kat. But if that had happened, Kat would probably not trust him as much. I refuse to believe Tony's respect for the person he was actively pursuing was unrelated to Kat's decision to keep sleeping with Tony.

Anyway back to the bedroom scene. This entire conversation was so interesting to me. At this point, TonyKat had been hooking up for a while and become quite close to each other. But their relationship was not exclusive and Kat was sleeping with other people too like she always did. And now Tony was starting to like Kat enough to want to date her and he wanted to let her know that. Tony's opening for this conversation was to ask Kat how many people she was sleeping with currently. Her answer was no one except Tony. I fully believe that if she did have other sleeping partners, the rest of the conversation would not have happened. Tony would have ended the conversation there. Maybe he would revisit this topic sometime in the future, maybe he wouldn't. But certainly their relationship would have progressed very diffetently.

Back to the conversation, Kat reveals that she stopped sleeping with other guys because they all always end up wanting to date. She keeps coming back to Tony because with him she can come and go freely as she pleases. This part of the conversation shows how much Kat trusts Tony. Later on in the conversation when Tony expresses his willingness to date her, she doesn't seem all that surprised. Nor does she seem wary of him. Which I find very interesting because in this very conversation she talked about ditching guys because they wanted more from her. I believe that the reason she is so chill about the whole thing is her trust in Tony. I think she trusts that he will always respect her decision no matter what. Which makes me very curious about what happened between them from their first hook up to this point. She seemed willing to consider the possibility of dating Tony. She even asked him to get her food. Which I found very interesting considering she refused to eat with Captain because it went against her hook up rules. So why do the rules not apply to Tony? What happened to make her like him so much? What made her trust him so much? And what made Tony like her so much in the first place? Because not that long ago he liked Jean, and he seemed to like her a lot. I really want a spinoff of their story. At this rate I will end up writing a fanfiction for myself.

This started as a discussion on trauma and somehow ended up being an exploration of the TonyKat relationship. Oh well. It is what it is.

[missnxthingg]

𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Actress!Reader (Enemies to Lovers & Fake Dating AU) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando Norris really messed up on the first time meeting one of Hollywood's newest and hottest stars, Y/N L/N. But when his reputation gets too bad, she might be the only one who can save his career from being completely doomed. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 4.5K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - SMUT & swearing 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - Four is our lucky number, so let's spice things up! As I wrote this, I could only think about the song Conflicted by Halestorm (pardon the hard rock). Hope you enjoy this one!

series masterlist | main masterlist | main blog | taglist

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 - 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃

Lando woke up a little lost the following morning. His cheek was pressed to the top of Y/N's head and his arms were loosely still around her waist. She was still deep into sleep when he opened his eyes. Too afraid to wake her up and having to face an awkward conversation, he stood very still, taking the first minutes of his day to look at her and think.

Whatever happened between them yesterday was weird, to say the least. People don't simply go from hating each other to being vulnerable and sharing a bed in a matter of hours. He didn't know what had got into them and it scared him how much he enjoyed the moments they shared the previous night. It scared him how good it felt to be vulnerable to her. And the feeling he got on his chest every time he looked at her was the most terrifying of them all.

Feeling a clench on his chest, Lando carefully slipped out of bed and changed into fresh clothes, did his entire morning routine and, in less than 15 minutes later, he was downstairs in the restaurant for some breakfast. Since it was so early, and everyone was still tired from the weekend, he managed to sit alone and think. The last thing he needed was company.

Eventually, the hotel started to get crowded, and a few fans were starting to recognize him among the people at the restaurant. Feeling cranky, he thought it was best for him to go back to his room and get ready for his flight later that day. Zak had already texted him, saying he hoped to have a meeting on the flight. So he needed to rest his mind.

Lando hadn't decided how to behave around Y/N yet. She was woken up by the time he arrived, but was having a shower while he was gone. He packed everything he needed while she kept the bathroom busy. She only came out ten minutes later, dressed in comfortable clothes for the flight.

“Good morning”, she opened a small smile for Lando, who didn't retribute it. 

“Morning”, he mumbled, taking his needed things for a shower.

Y/N was surprised with his behaviour, but decided not to comment on it. Who the fuck goes from cuddling to no reaction in only a few hours? Only someone as complicated as Lando Norris. 

“At what time we'll be leaving?”, she ignored how he acted and decided to act just as cold.

“We have to be at the airport at one”, he said and Y/N only nodded to his response.

But she just couldn't help herself. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Fine”, he shrugged before locking himself in the bathroom.

The rest of the trip was exactly like that. Y/N only heard Lando's voice when necessary. He only shifted his mood during the meeting he had with Zak on the plane. Not very interested in talking about racing, she chose to put on her earpods and drift away into music.

They only met again a week later, when Y/N was invited to attend the Cannes Film Festival. To not make it seem like their relationship was one-sided, they took advantage that his off weekend was supposed to be during the event. Lando met her in France, where they had booked a suite with two rooms this time, so they would only have to meet in common areas such as the living and dining room. 

What surprised Y/N was that Lando was back to his asshole behaviour once again.

“You never, ever shut up, do you?”, he sighed, taking a spot on the living room's couch.

"I'm just saying that we're late for a brunch and you're fucking sitting down, Norris", she folded her arms and puffed her chest, making sure he knew how upset she was.

"I'm not required to be at this brunch. Just need to be with you at the red carpet", Lando put his feet up on the coffee table and turned the TV on, pretending not to care. Y/N promptly removed his feet from the table.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? I literally always go out of my schedule, fly out away from home, just to be at your goddamn work events, and you can't do the same for me?”

"We're not a real couple, Y/N. I don't know if you realized that", Lando squinted his eyes as he spat out the words. Words to which were daggers right across her chest.

She didn't know why it pained her so much to hear those words; to see how aggressive he was behaving. That was not the same Lando that a week ago begged for her to comfort him and pulled her closer before falling asleep. He wasn't the bubbly and happy Lando Norris she saw on track.

Trying to fight back some tears, Y/N turned her back and retreated to her room. “You do you, Norris. I'm gonna finish getting ready because, contrary to you, I care about my career”.

She had to fight really hard to not call his PR team and call this whole thing off. Lando wasn't committing to his part of the agreement, so she didn't feel like it was fair. But she washed her face, took a deep breath and got ready for brunch. By the time she was out the room, Lando was waiting dressed in a linen button up and short's, perfect for a casual spring day.

Y/N didn't say anything and carried on her way out, him right behind her. When they got to the hotel lobby, they put on their little show, with his hand on the small of her back and opening doors for her. Later that day on the internet, people were melting with the pictures of them in line for brunch, with the sweet kisses being shared between them.

But the real commotion came on the next day, when they attended a Martin Scorsese film premiere, looking like the hottest couple in Cannes. Lando dressed up in a beautiful and classic black suit, while Y/N chose a draped baby pink dress that made her feel like a goddess. When she came out of her room after hours with stylists, makeup artists and hairdressers, Lando felt the air being knocked out of his lungs and he did his best at pretending not to care.

Their fans, on the other hand, cared too much. Their names climbed up to worldwide trending topics; their picture on the red was all over Instagram. People loved how amazing they looked together. Lando and VN really could be a breathtaking couple if they were actually together. It was the perfect combo: the rising star and the sunshine athletic boy.

“A match made in hell”, he whispered in her ear as all the cameras blinded them with the flashes.

"I fucking hate you", she whispered back, and Lando felt like those words were a stab right in his chest.

Of course he knew Y/N hated him. He himself has made sure those feelings were known. But this is the first time he's heard it since the night they shared in Miami. Why does he now care that she hates him?

The words flowed so easily out of her mouth. She was angry at him. Absolutely livid by his behaviour on the previous day, or the fact that he simply pretended the last grand prix didn't happen. So if Lando was going to be petty, two can play this game.

The entire night was filled with snarky comments. Lando made sure to show how he wasn't enjoying the premiere, and Y/N had a comment for every comma that came out of his mouth. She could say anything to try pissing him off. What was making Lando angry, on the other hand, was seeing other men looking her up and down, just like a piece of meat. Didn't they have anything else better to do?

After Y/N spent good ten minutes talking to a very hot model, who was flirting with her the whole time, Lando gave up on waiting for him to leave and approached them, letting his hand go around her waist, securing her close to his body.

“Jesus, don't they realize you're taken?”, Lando mumbled, as he frowned at the model, now long gone.

"I thought we weren't a real couple. So there's nothing wrong with other men flirting with me", she provoked, feeling his fingers tighten around her waist.

“There is when, publicly, you're still mine. Or don’t you remember my one and only rule?”, you could see the red creeping up his neck. Was he actually jealous? It can't be.

“You really are a book I can't read”, she sighed, making an exit towards the theatre where the movie would be exhibited.

Thank God for long movies, because they wouldn't have to listen to each other's voices for three hours. But after a standing ovation once the credit's started rolling up, Y/N proceeded to try talking to as many people as she could at the cocktail party after the session. At the end of the day, she had talked to really important directors and producers, who in the future might think of her while doing a new project.

Lando, on the other hand, stood by her side and looked bored. He hated the film, thinking it was too conceptual for his liking, not to mention too long for a fucking boring plot. Y/N was getting angry at his behaviour and was making their deal go through the sky.

“I swear to God, if you keeping doing this, I'll call our team and end this whole fucking thing”, she complained, making him roll his eyes.

“Fuck off, you're still full on flirting with other men in front of me. I'm not the only one fucking this agreement”, by that time, they were alone in a secluded area of the party.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Norris, I'm working, not flirting, for fuck’s sake. This is the same thing as talking to sponsors. I'm not fucking flirting with any of them”, she was visibly angry at his behaviour.

“Well, it doesn't look like it”.

The fight was taken back to their hotel room and they did their best to make their discussion go unnoticed by other people. But once the doors were closed, they fought like they were married with children.

“This is disrespectful”, Lando shot when they brought up the men she talked to through the night.

“It's work, Norris. I don't know why you're so fucking jealous”.

“Because, we're in a goddamn relationship, Y/N. You can't go out all flirting with other men”.

“You said yourself we weren't in a real relationship. So why are you so jealous?”

“I'm not”, he reaffirmed, making her chuckle.

“Prove it”, she crossed her arms and daringly arched her brows.

She made every molecule of his body agitated. Once, Lando thought it was anger, for all the times they fought without having a reason and all the days she behaved like a brat, making his blood boil under his skin. Now, after the crash and the moment they shared in that tiny driver’s room, he wasn’t so sure anymore. 

He was furious; absolutely livid, without knowing exactly what he wanted. Normally, Lando is a very decisive man. But when it came to Y/N, things were just a mess in his head. And right now, looking at her with her arched brows and folded arms, almost daring him to explode at her, he knew that there was only one thing he could do to end up with the fire that was consuming him.

The next second, Lando had his lips on Y/N, furiously attacking them in the neediest kiss of all time. She was taken by surprise and actually had to wait a few seconds to reciprocate anything. She had that look on her face, provoking him into the edge, waiting for a shout that would give her a single reason to hate him. Now he’s got her on the hook and there was no way to run. Actually, Y/N didn’t actually want to run anyway.

Lando had pressed her against the wall, a leg right between her thighs, keeping them apart and their bodies close. He had a hand around her neck, and another one on her hips, securing her against the wall. The pressure he put on her throat felt delicious. No one had ever held her like that before. Her panty was soaking wet not even two seconds later.

It only felt better when he moved his kisses down, trailing them to her neck. His lips sucked on her sweet spot, right under her ear, making her moan with the hot sensation over her skin. Also, if she wasn’t turned on at that point, feeling Lando’s hard on her thigh absolutely did the job. And if he was playing a game, she knew how to dance around it as well. Quickly, one of her hands was palming him over his trousers. He moved back to her mouth, kissing her as if his life depended on it, and biting her bottom lip when the pleasure got too much for him.

“Stop it”, he moaned against her lips, making her smile. “You can only touch me when I say you can touch me”.

“Bullshit”, she dared. “Look at you, Lando. You can’t get enough of my touches. I know you want them all”.

“Fucking…”, Lando removed his knee from between her legs and helped her kneel on the ground right in front of him. He leaned forward and softly landed his hand on her chin, making Y/N look up. She tried to put her best innocent look and he was absolutely done for her. “Open your mouth, baby”.

Y/N opened her mouth for just a little bit, and Lando slipped his thumb in so she could suck on it. Then after a while, he replaced it with his middle and index finger, going in deeper and making her almost gag on his hands. Tired of playing games, he kneeled as well, levelling their eyes, before letting his hand travel to the zip on her back.

“Come on, pretty girl. I want to see you”, he left a few soft kisses on her cheek and daringly opened the zip. “Can I take this off?”, she nodded, but Lando wasn’t satisfied. “I need to hear you say the words”.

“Yes, please”, she pleaded and soon her dress was on the floor, exposing her bare tits from the lack of bra and lacy black thong. Lando didn’t waste a second before dipping his head into her nipples, sucking, biting and playing with both of them. Y/N was a moaning mess in second, pulling his head closer to her body as she felt fantastic with just his lips on her nipples. “Lan, oh my God. Please, I wanna feel you”.

“You misbehaved”, he smirked, getting away from her tits to undo his belt. “I told you not to touch me and just wait. Now, if you wanna touch me, you better open up”.

He quickly lowered his trousers along with his underwear and his hard cock came hard, slapping on his stomach. Lando was sure he could die happily at the sight of Y/N’s eyes brightening and her mouth automatically opening wider for him. “Good girl”, he praised, taking her face by the chin and bringing his cock to her lips.

Y/N’s mouth felt so warm and amazing; Lando was losing it. He started trusting his hips into her face, making his dick go deeper in her throat and her gagging sending delicious vibrations up his body. He was surprised when one of her hands grabbed his balls and massaged them, sending him over the edge just quick enough. He had to pull away before coming on her throat. Y/N pouted in the absence of his cock, still being attached to it by a string of spit and pre-cum. Lando used one of his hands to wipe it off before kissing her again.

“Baby girl, I need to last longer, and you’re not helping at all”, he whispered on her lips once again, making Y/N giggle. What she wasn’t expecting, though, was a hand sneaking into her pussy, his middle finger gathering the juices pooling on her panty. She let an audible moan out, making him know how much she was enjoying that. “Do you want my fingers?”

“Yes”, she breathed out and Lando picked her from the floor, quickly taking her to bed, where they could get more comfortable. He slowly removed her underwear and tossed it around the room, the place getting filled with her glorious smell. 

“Spread your legs wider, love”, Lando commanded and she immediately responded. “Good, just like that”. Y/N was going feral with the praise, and he got it right away. “You have a praise kink, pretty girl? Oh, that’s so sweet”.

Now that he knew that, Lando was going to put that information to use. He went back to her mouth though, this time slowing down the pace of her kiss, but the intensity was just like before. As much as he wanted to jump right in and just fuck the shit out of her, he would do anything to make this last for as long as he could. “If I am to have her for only one night, I want it to be unforgettable”, he thought.

Y/N was drunk on his kisses; feeling her soaking wet core brushing on his bare thigh and his tongue furiously sliding against hers. She just wanted to feel him, so she guided his hand to her pussy and pleaded with her eyes. Being a good boy, Lando slipped a finger inside her and pumped it inside slowly, making her lose it, throwing her head back in pleasure.

“Yes, right there. Oh my… Lando”, her hands flew to his back, fingers digging on his skin. Y/N started to roll her hips against his hand and he smiled at her attempt to feel even better. “I need more, please. One more”.

“One more finger, baby?”, Lando immediately obeyed, loving the sweet moan that came out of her mouth right after. “Come on, tell me what you want”.

“Kiss me, Lan”, she pulled his head closer to hers and her lips met his midway. Lando could’ve died happily just like that. He was getting addicted to her kisses, specially now that they were wanted and asked for. They weren’t a stunt act. They were behind closed doors. She was doing it willingly. 

“Does that feel good?”, he asked between kisses and she nodded, feeling a knot tightening around her stomach.

“I’m gonna cum”, she grunted, making him start circling her clit with his thumb. “Shit, shit. I’m cumming”.

Her pussy clenched around his finger and now he was covered with her juices. Knowing it would make her go crazy, Lando brought his fingers up to his lips and licked them, moaning at the taste of her sweetness. “God, makes me want to get it straight from the source. You taste so good, baby girl”.

Y/N sat on bed and jumped right into his neck, wrapping her arms around his head to kiss him intensely. Lando was surprised by that, but he couldn’t get enough of her kisses. He has been learning to love them for a long time now, but it was so different; so magical. 

“You want to eat me out, uhm?”, she asked him, making Lando arch his eyebrow and smile. “I asked you a question”.

“Well, I would not be opposed to it”.

“That’s not an answer, Lando”, she stopped kissing him, throwing her back against the mattress and getting comfortable between the pillows. She was not going to make him say it. He was the dominant; he wasn’t the one to say those kinds of things. But when Y/N spread her legs and started to play with herself, he just couldn’t keep it to himself.

“Fuck yes, I do. I want to eat you out, pretty girl”, he fell down, head right between her thighs, and started to trail kisses up her legs, until his lips were wrapped around her clit. If Y/N was trying to contain herself, she just couldn’t do it with how good it felt to him eating her pussy so deliciously.

But with their history, she just couldn’t help but provoke him. “You can do better than this”, Y/N dared, as if she wasn’t a moaning mess a few seconds before. And Lando wasn’t one to turn down challenges.

He pulled both of her legs over his shoulder, securing his head on her pussy and making her more comfortable. This time, he started sucking on her clit while working two fingers inside of her. He was too busy to say anything, but Y/N had a whole fucking lot to say about his work.

“Fuck, baby, you’re doing so good. Shit, you just know how to find the right spot. Gonna make me cum again, uhm?”, she was almost screaming in pleasure. When Lando started brushing the right spot inside of her, she felt like she was going to explode. It was different than any other orgasm she ever had in her life. She cummed so hard on his mouth, screaming his name in response.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, Lando had a beautiful smile on his face, that was covered in her juices. “Shit, that was so perfect”.

“You did so good”, she let a hand up to his face, rubbing circles on his cheek with an adorable smile on her face. But then, her hand fell to his cock, pulling him closer to her as she jerked him. “But now it’s time for both of us to feel good”.

Lando kissed her once again, just because the kisses were an addiction by now. Her hands pumping him only made it all feel so much better. Just the thought of having her around his cock made it twitch.

“Eager much?” She smirked on his lips, but Lando didn’t reply. Instead, he pulled her legs to wrap around his torso and guided his cock to her entrance, head brushing her pussy and collecting all the wetness. Y/N moaned and whined just with the contact.

“Eager much?” He joked back before putting just the tip inside. She felt so tight around him, Lando had to take a second to put it all in, needing to push one of her legs over his shoulder, just to give him more access. “Holy fuck, you feel so good around me. Baby, so tight for me. Fuck yes”.

He had closed his eyes, but she gripped on his throat, making him look down again. “Let me see your eyes, Lan”, she asked. His ocean green blue-ish orbs met hers and he quickly wrapped one of his hands on her throat as well. 

“Say my name again”, it was his turn to ask, and she moaned with the request. “Say it”.

“Lando”, she whispered, his cock now moving delicately inside of her. 

“Louder”, he demanded, picking up the pace.

“Lando!”, she screamed, making him slammer down his cock inside her. “I want you to ruin me”.

“Your wish is my command”. Now it was a matter of honour, and Lando was going to give what she asked. So he found the best pace, keeping the movements firm, yet slow enough to not be too much.

“You’re so big, love”, she praised, brushing her hands on his cheek, making him look her in the eyes. Lando looked so pretty while trying to contain his moans to speak. “I can’t get enough of you. I’m so full”

“You take me so well, my love. Fuck me”, his movements were getting sloppier, and she could feel his cock already twitching inside of her. Y/N also noticed that he was holding back his force, trying not to overstep. 

“Don’t hold back, baby. You can use me”, she encouraged, and that was all Lando needed to hear before quickening the pace. And then, it was getting too hard for him to hold back. He wanted to last longer, but it all felt so good. Lucky enough, Y/N started to clench around him. “I’m gonna cum, Lan. Please!”

“Let’s cum together, pretty girl. Come on, we can do this”.

He glued his eyes with her, the hand on her throat not letting them break eye contact as the waves of pleasure crashed over their bodies. Y/N came first, but less than 5 seconds later, he pulled out to come on her stomach. She pumped him outside, getting him dry, while he retributed the favour with his fingers until they were both done.

Y/N had to wait a second to come back to her senses, but Lando promptly took a cloth from the bathroom and cleaned the mess he made over her. Then, too tired to function, he dropped his body over her and pressed a few kisses all over her face. It was like now that he had finally had her, he just wanted to curl up with her and forget about the whole world. And she was willing to let him do just that, because that was exactly what she wanted as well.

He fell asleep just a few seconds into their comfortable silence. Y/N continued to roll her fingers through his curls, lulling him into deep slumber, as she thought about what had just happened. It was still unbelievable in her head, but she kept replaying every moment, already missing his touch. And if her feelings for Lando were already confusing because of that night after his crash, this only made things worse. But having him sleeping on her arms, his digits digging on her skin as he clings tight onto her, made her forget about all her worries.

He woke up for just a few seconds and caught her staring at him. Instead of pretending she wasn’t looking, Y/N cracked him a smile. Lando opened an even wider smile before pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Let’s go to sleep, angel. Come on”, he got off her to turn off the lamp on the night stand, turning the room dark.

He found a spot for his head on a pillow and missed the warmth of Y/N. So he pulled her closer until she was lying on top of him. The skin to skin contact felt so intimate and comfortable for them. No fabric or cloth between them, just their bodies holding in together. And with his soft hands on her hair, Y/N fell asleep listening to Lando’s heartbeat, who had his own funny pace: quick in adoration for her, and then slow, after she calmed him down.

She would be the death of him someday.

⋘ ��𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

⤳ 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - @celestialams @lizaschronicles @kapsylia @igotnorrrizz @hiireadstufff @bishhhitsaurionn @mrsmaybank13 @bborra @sltwins@riccdannyf1 @kapsylia @67-angelofthelordme-67 @ctrlyomomma @lan4cha16 @alltoomaples @ellen3101 @hellyesjaehyun @tastebaldwin @sweate-r-weathe-r @carmenita122 @m0cha-bunny @lqvesoph @itscrzy @fangirlvibez @poppyflower-22 @livelovesports @logischeroktopus @happy-jj @saturnbloom77 @cmleitora @formulaal @secretgal66 @taisferrari-blog @ellen3101 @sunsshinesunny @eclipsedcherry @tems13 @readingbringsjoy @naanibubbletimmispeach @kenzeyeballs @alilcloudy @architect-2015 @tillyt04 @eringaitskill @honeyhatty12 @dreamercrowd @demig0d0fapollo @mxmtewnz @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @beyond-the-ashes @ijustgomessitupx @floraav @laiba26mindflay3r @books0fever @marialovesf1 @sltwins @ourteenagetragedy @katieschry1 @loveofmylife12 @diaa-20 @urfavsgf @chilisandmilk @elleeeee21 @likedbygaslyy

crossed means i can't tag you! dm me and maybe we can get it fixed

[tojisbbg]

𝙞 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨

❝secrets i have held in my heart, are harder to hide than i thought; maybe i just wanna be yours.❞  

♡ gojo satoru ♡

a/n: writing another gojo smut since the last one i wrote of him flopped. 😞💔

reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3

(also, a lot of you have been dming me and it's honestly so sweet, shoot me a message anytime :D)

content: gojo satoru x fem!reader, reader is extremely horny lol (hypersexual??), sassy gojo (he's a little dick sometimes), fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, not edited.

...

"well, you look like shit." gojo snorted, entering your dorm room as you woke up from your short-lived night's sleep. you let out a yawn, doing that weird whole body shaking thing before sitting up; rubbing your eyes to see your best friend more clearly.

he looked equally worse as you, dark eye bags, chapped lips, arms crossed over his chest along with a scowl painted on his lips.

"thanks, you don't look any less shitty yourself." you snickered, leaning against the headboard as you watched him roll his eyes before making his way towards your bed; sitting on the edge.

"i wonder why." the white haired male grumbled, a small glare thrown at your direction.

"hmm? i don't know what you're talking about." you innocently batted your eyes, making him narrow his eyes.

"i would've been done studying by two in the morning if you would've stopped blowing up my phone every two seconds about how roughly fucking me would help you memorize the formulas better." gojo complained, making you bite back a laugh.

"well, you could've just go on dnd or block me." you shrugged, indirectly calling him a dumbass.

"you threatened to kill yourself if i did that."

"oh."

"anyways, what time did you stop studying and hit the lights?" gojo changed the topic, examining your tired face.

"i don't know, i think five-thirty?" you tried to think hard, but, recently all these nights where you pulled all-nighters have been a blur.

"not bad, i slept around that time too." he sighed, rubbing his temples while wincing in pain.

"hurts?" you asked, hearing him hum in response.

"yeah, i took painkillers before getting here but it's not really helping." gojo groaned before looking at you through half-lidded eyes, his words making you pout.

"well, i can't really help you with that. but, i can offer you some mind-blowing head instead." a smirk tugged on your lips as you threw a wink at him, making gojo look at you with an unamused look.

"this fucking early in the morning too? god, it's barely seven in the morning." he stared at you in disbelief, making you chuckle.

"jeez, i'm kidding. no need to act like you got a stick up your ass all the time." you stretched, while gojo scrolled on his phone through social media along with his emails.

"you gonna do final revisions on the way to campus?" he asked you with curious eyes, making you let out a hysteric laugh.

"fuck no, i stayed up till five something reading and writing notes until my fingers went numb. i couldn't even fuck myself to sleep because of the pain." you casually answered, making gojo's nose scrunch up in distaste.

"fucking hell, y/n, you're filthy." gojo commented, making you laugh before you crawled towards him, sitting on his lap as you pinched his cheeks.

"but you love me." you cooed, squishing his cheeks into a pout as he let you. gojo's arms instinctively were wrapped around your waist to make sure that you don't fall and crack your head open.

"unfortunately." he sighed.

this is how it has always been for you and gojo, his inevitable torture starting from when you both were in diapers. both of your families were extremely close, your mother being high school besties with his mom.

of course, both women decided to continue this legacy by making sure that their children grew up together. so, you've been stuck to gojo by the hip.

gojo's family was extremely wealthy, like filthy rich. his father owned one of the biggest company in all of japan. your parents, however, owned a humble sushi place in kyoto.

nonetheless, gojo never looked down on you or treated you like you were some ant that could be stepped on. he was like your protective shadow, scolding you when you acted out, being there to comfort you when you were down or struggling, and he dealt with all your stupid jokes.

as you both grew older, puberty hit like a truck.

no, not even a truck; like a fucking tsunami.

your body matured and your hormones went absolutely wild. you don't know what the hell happened, but you craved for sexual pleasure so often. after discovering the magic of masturbation, you did the act almost religiously.

your jokes were pure filth, full of suggestive language. it was like the only thing that circled your mind was dick, dick, dick, sex, sex, cum, cum.

no, quite literally.

you were horny almost 24/7 for some unknown reason.

oh, and you were still a virgin. yeah, shocking.

your situation wasn't helped after realizing how fucking hot your best friend became either. gojo began to hit the gym, basically turning into a gym rat in high school as you accompanied him after school every day before heading home together. he became beefy and so fucking tall, nearly 6'4ft.

no wonder why girls in high school chased him like he was the jackpot. well, they still do now that you both attended college.

though he was a pretty face, gojo was smart as hell. well, the both of you are; it was kinda like a mutual academic rivalry you both had. of course, it was all for shits and giggles.

he was a math nerd, meanwhile, you hated the subject with a burning passion. you liked english better, as your reading and writing skills were beyond talented. so, you and gojo made a fair deal, he'd help you with your math homework while you'd help him with english.

sometimes you both would do each others homework when it was time to cram study for other subjects. the subject you both have a common liking towards was science.

people sometimes mistakenly thought that you and the snow haired male were a couple. the truth is, you both were just super close best friends. gojo got used to your dirty jokes and remarks, no longer affected by them, as it was like common language for him now.

"can you eat the damn banana like a normal person for once?"

"why? you wish i was deepthroating the banana in your pants instead?"

"y/n, which outfit looks better? the first or second one?"

"neither, stay naked and let me smash, pleaseee."

"oh my god!! you look so handsome satoru, i'm literally gonna cum on your face."

"look at you wearing that tight black compression shirt, you slut!"

"put on a shirt and cover those tits before i suck them, toru!"

"y/n, i'm at that one plushie store downtown and there's like a bunch of sanrio shit. imma get that one hello kitty headband you were looking last night for you."

"oh my god?? hello, what the fuck, i'm literally gonna let you say hello to my kitty, toru. ugh, i love you so much."

"do you need help on doing your sit-ups? i could hold your legs down."

"yeah, but don't come too close or else my pussy is gonna start pulsating your name in morse code."

"i don't know what to get you for christmas, y/n."

"how about you lathered up in coconut oil and wrapped in a cute pink coqutte bow under my tree?"

"you horny fuck, oh my god."

"you idiot! i don't care if they taste bad, i told you to suck on those cough drops to help you soothe your throat."

"but i'd rather suck your balls, satoru."

"for the love of god, seek therapy."

"sex therapy with you?"

"you gonna stay on me forever or get ready for class before we're late for our last final exam?" gojo playfully pinched your side, making you yelp as you rubbed the site.

"jerk, i was thinking about how this is the perfect position for me to cockwarm you." you said, earning a flick to the forehead.

"you got ten minutes or i'm leaving you." gojo ignored your whines, standing up with you still clung onto him like a koala.

"satoruuu, i don't wanna go! they're gonna brutally torture me for the next hour based on organic chemistry." you dramatically cried into the crook of his neck.

"the school is gonna kick us out if we don't take this exam, y/n. it's worth like sixty-five percent of our final semester grade. besides, we both studied hard for this. you'll be okay." he rubbed your back comfortingly, making you pull away with a huff.

"you have enough money to buy the entire university, satoru."

"my dad is gonna burn me alive, y/n."

"okay, fine! i have a better solution. how about we start an onlyfans? you know, we both could occasionally do solos or you know... fuck each other too! like-"

"no."

"satoru!! hear me out." you tried to reason, but gojo knew it was all bluffing and you just wanted to stall. so, he forced you down from his hold, making you stand on your feet as you looked at him with a glare.

"ten minutes, you big baby." gojo said before leaving your room.

---

it felt like you just survived a war, coming back home with nothing but trauma written all over your face.

what the fuck was that exam?

all those hours of studying this entire week, sleepless nights, missing meals... all gone to waste?

you punched in your lock combination on the small keypad outside your dorm room, hearing the small beep as the door unlocked. with a twist of the knob, you opened the door and entered. you saw the familiar pair of shoes by your door, not paying much mind to it as you kicked your own shoes off to the side.

you saw gojo leisurely laying on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

"when did you get here? the exam didn't start until eight." you asked, your voice barely audible from how exhausted you were, physically and mentally.

"like fifteen minutes ago. my proctor started the exam like twenty minutes early by accident, since the clock in that room was broken." he explained, making you nod your head as you walked to the couch.

you tapped his long legs, ushering him to bend them so that you had space to sit. a moment of silence graced the atmosphere, neither of you uttering a single word.

"it was shit." you both blurted out at the same time, looking at each other with equal shock.

"you too?!"

"fuck yeah. i mean like, what kind of formulas were those?!"

"i know right?? it was like another language, completely different from the review packets."

"man, i should've just given up and fucked myself to sleep. at least, i'd get some good sleep."

"bro, you and fucking yourself. one night without having your fingers inside your pussy won't kill you." gojo sat up, shaking his head in disbelief that your concern was something so ridiculous.

"uh, yeah it will since you're clearly depriving me of your dick." you retorted, making him roll his eyes.

"whatever. what are you gonna do now?" he asked, leaning towards the small table to grab his water bottle, opening it to take a sip.

"have rough kinky sex with you." the words casually flew out of your mouth, catching the snowy haired male off guard as he choked on his water.

"i'm being serious!" he said in between his coughs, watching your laugh at his reaction.

"i'm gonna sleep, what else, idiot? i need my brain to rest and recover from all that trauma. besides, we do this every time when it's finals season, satoru. you got amnesia or something?" you joked, patting his back to help him stop coughing.

"sorry, my brain is malfunctioning. my dorm or yours?" gojo asked after clearing his throat.

"since you're already here, let's sleep in mine. i'm gonna go change into something more comfortable. if you wanna change out of those, there's a spare pair of your sweats and t-shirt in my closet." you informed him, making him nod as you both got up and headed towards your bedroom. you grabbed your clothes and headed into the bathroom to freshen up and change into them, giving up your bedroom to have gojo change.

after finishing up, you walked back into your room, seeing gojo already inside your bed; looking like he was half dead. you snorted, walking over to the other side before placing yourself on the empty spot.

"don't hog the blanket, or else i'll kill you."

"no promises."

with that being said, you scooted closer to gojo, in need of feeling his body's warmth against you. it wasn't anything new, this was sort of a tradition you guys did after finals week was over. you both slept for hours together.

you threw your legs over his waist, tugging onto gojo's shirt as he laid down while facing the ceiling.

"hold me, 'toru." you mumbled, your movements slightly bringing him back to life. gojo groaned in annoyance, turning his body to now face you as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

"better?" he spoke into your hair, which was slightly tickling his nose. you nodded your head, your cheek pressed against his chest as you inhaled his scent.

gojo always smelled sweet with a mixture of expensive cologne.

a few minutes passed, and you could hear his heartbeat slowing down, indicating that he was falling asleep.

"hey, you awake?" you poked his cheek, making his eyebrows furrow.

"no." gojo murmured, eyes still closed.

"you know, satoru, if you jerk off before going to sleep then your sleep is gonna be like ten times better. science says it helps release stress and improves blood flow. if you want, i can jerk-"

"go to sleep, y/n." gojo sternly cut you off along with your wonderful visual of how you'd jerk him off, giving your thigh a light smack before resting his hand there. you let out a small whine, playfully biting his cheek.

you saw gojo's eyes scrunch, making you sigh.

"sorry." you mumbled to yourself, as gojo most likely didn't hear you since it seemed like he was already asleep. you pressed a small kiss on the spot you bit before snuggling into his neck. your arms and legs tightly wrapped around his body, fingers finding home between his snowy locks.

"it's okay." was the last thing you heard before you were no longer able to resist sleep.

---

gojo stirred in his sleep, mumbling incoherent words as he felt the constant buzzing noise vibrating on the bed. he painfully opened one eye, half-lidded, as he realized you were still tightly tucked way in his arms. you snored softly against his chest, lips pouted, making him tempted to kiss you.

the snow hair male tried to find the source of the buzzing sound, grabbing a hold of his phone only to see that his phone was dead. gojo's eyebrows furrowed in confusion 'cause then what the hell is it?

his eyes landed on your phone which was shoved under your back and gojo momentarily saw your screen flicker open. bingo! it was your phone that was annoyingly going off.

gojo grabbed your phone, deciding to silence it for you, even though you were passed out like you're dead; so you most likely didn't hear it anyways. but, he was a light sleeper and your stupid phone was keeping him awake.

as the screen flickered open again, gojo saw that you had well over a thousand notifications. his eyes widened, you were never the type to be social. of course, you weren't a loner or something of that sort; you had friends whom were also gojo's friends.

but, the both of you kept your friend groups small and restricted so avoid any unnecessary drama.

"tumblr?" gojo mumbled under his breath, knowing that it wasn't his place to snoop around. but, he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. the notifications were all indicating that people hearted a post you made along with commenting hearts and all that shit.

a weird feeling bubbled inside him, something in between the lines of possessiveness and anger.

so, he decided to investigate, knowing that it was wrong but he couldn't help himself. it was convenient that his face id was added onto your phone, just like how yours was added onto his. after unlocking your phone, he found the tumblr app.

at first, gojo thought it was a dating website as it sounded very familiar to tinder. but, he would soon be proven wrong as he saw a feed full of different blogs and writing.

gojo's curiosity ran wild, silently exploring the new waters he was introduced to. he clicked on your notifications list which was flooded with heart and comments.

not any comments, but horrendously down bad thirsty comments.

sanemiswh0re: ahhh author!! i'm literally running laps, this was so good!

localbbg: this was pure filth and i loved every word of it!

cherrytones: hello?? i need a toru in my life! a tear just ran down my thigh.

yourhotgf: bro wtf, white haired men 🔛🔝 of me!! toru with that big dick energy?? lord, i need him in me so bad.

gojo's eyes widened at the comments while he scrolled. toru? it's a silly little nickname you've been calling him ever since you were kids. since when did you write stories? and... they were about him too?

he clicked on one of the comments which led him to said story, making him smirk as the naughty photo used in the border was enough to give him an idea. gojo settled in bed comfortable, with you still wrapped around him, without a fucking clue of what that menace just found.

"jesus.." gojo breathed out in shock, reading the pure filth you wrote of him and the 'y/n' used in the story, but he assumed that she was based off of you. it was no use denying it, the male character toru resembled too much of his personality and the female character y/n resembled you a lot too.

he wasn't even halfway done yet, but it seemed like you wrote an entire hour long porn script. your writing was so descriptive, describing the sex scenes in such a pornographic yet sensual way. gojo would be lying if he said it didn't make his heart flutter and cock throb.

were your fantasies of him always this dirty?

did you always want to be manhandled by him? praised and teased? being slutted out? a mix of a gentle dom that was a little witty?

god, where did you hide all of this?

of course, you were never ashamed of your vulgar comments and jokes that you threw at him. but, gojo always brushed them off because he grew accustomed to it. however, this was completely new to him.

your smutty writing of him and you made him feel hot and bothered. he knew you were dirty, but not this dirty.

you began to wiggle in his arms, stirring awake as you made a few groaning sounds.

"hmm, time... toru." you groggily asked, eyes still shut as you waited for a response.

"it's 8:23." gojo replied, still not bothered to place your phone back to where he found it. instead, he continued to surf through your dashboard to which he found more of these smut of him.

"why are you awake so soon?" you yawned, cracking an eye open only to wince from the sudden light exposure.

"had a leg cramp." he lied, making you grimace.

"ouch, you should've waken me up then." you commented, your hand find his as you played with his really long and thick fingers. it was a habit to toy around with the rings that wrapped around them.

"you looked too peaceful to disturb. besides, i found something to read in order to kill time." gojo boldly said, making you hum in amusement.

"oh? and since when have you been a bookworm? please, do enlighten me." you teased, making him chuckle. a smirk etched onto his lips, trying to collect his words before attempting to send you into cardiac arrest.

"it's actually very interesting, i have to say. i never thought i'd be into erotic romance." he started out, and the very unexpected words leaving his mouth made your heart pound inside your chest.

he was reading that shit besides you and you had no clue?

"jeez, and you call me a horny dog?" you scoffed.

"well, maybe it's torusluvr who's the real horny dog." he dropped the bomb, making your heart stop it's usual cardiac rhythm as you heard your tumblr account's username. you shot awake from bed, eyes meeting his playful ones as the color drained from you face.

"what? how did you-" you were a stammering and confusing mess, searching for your phone until you looked at his hand.

"looking for this?" gojo waved your phone, the screen on full blast lighting and filled with words of nothing but sex.

"give me my phone back, satoru." you panicked, trying to grab your phone from his grasp. but, gojo's body structure was stronger, bulkier and taller than yours; so you struggled.

however, gojo took your struggle as a form of amusement. he noticed how your face was covered in a blush from being caught red-handed, movements so shaky and alarmed.

it was kind of cute.

"nuh uh." gojo suddenly tossed your phone to the side before grabbing both of your hands. a yelp escaped from your lips as you were pinned to the bed in mere seconds, gojo's body hovering above yours as he slotted himself between your legs.

you gulped nervously, your cheeks growing warmer as it suddenly felt too embarrassing to look at gojo in the eyes. you were a mere ant compared to his body, his stature standing at six feet four inches, and his body was beefy as hell yet so soft to the touch.

"does this turn you on, y/n? hm? being manhandled by someone who's twice your size." the white haired male teased, his husky voice due to his previous slumber sent heat waves to your cunt.

"satoru-"

your words were cut short as gojo leaned closer to you, grinding his hard on against your throbbing cunt, making you gasp.

"satoru? what happened to toru?" he whispered, shoving his face into the crook of your neck, taking a minute to inhale the scent of your perfume which has been permanently engraved into his senses and brain.

"stop joking around, we're friends... best friends." you tried to reason, watching his eyes darken.

"oh? and do all best friends write porn worthy shit about each other?" gojo snickered, pressing soft kisses along your jaw. your throat went dry, words getting stuck.

"i guess we can't be best friends anymore 'cause i wanna recreate all that shit that i read— with you." a smirk tugged on his lips and before you could even process what the hell was about to go down, you let out a small whimper after feeling him bite down on your collarbone before peppering soft kisses on the abused skin afterwards.

"toru... please." you desperately begged, needing some kind of friction between you and him to relieve the ache between your thighs.

"i bet if i touch that cute little pussy of yours, my fingers are gonna come out glossy wet, yeah? should we test it out, y/n?" gojo continued to pester you with his teasing remarks, making you blush further at them as you were to embarrassed to have him find out about the wet patch that was created on your panties by now.

you shyly nodded but this wasn't enough for gojo to take for an answer. you felt a small pinch on the plush flesh of your thigh, making you wince.

"use your words, y/n. you didn't shy out when you were right all that stuff about me and you." he scoffed, making you whine in embarrassment.

"touch me, toru... i need to feel your fingers." your voice was meek, throat getting dry as you desperately bucked your hips upwards. gojo cocked an eyebrow, watching your body squirm underneath him in amusement.

"so needy." gojo laughed, rubbing your thighs before giving it a small squeeze. your body grew warm and your face flushed red from his touch. you've fantasized about this moment for so long and now it was finally happening.

gojo's fingers hooked on the waistband of your shorts about to pull them down until your hand came down to stop his movement. he was a little confused and felt a little guilty because he didn't know if he was moving too fast for you or made you uncomfortable.

"you okay?" gojo asked with genuine concern washed on his face. you bit down on your lips, averting your gaze from his.

"i'm not wearing any lace and my panties aren't even matching with my bra." you said in a little panicked voice. gojo was a handsome jerk and this most definitely wasn't his first time sleeping with someone.

you saw his hookups, they were always the prettiest of the prettiest girls. they looked like polished gems, wearing fancy feminine clothes in contrast with your hobo looking outfits, hair and nails were always done... they were like runway models.

you couldn't help but feel a little insecure. you knew that satoru was different, but that small part of you still felt like perhaps this was still some kind of cruel joke the universe was playing on you.

the books you read always gave the female lead a perfect body free of blemishes, wearing expensive and sexy matching undergarments and so much more.

while here you are with unmatched undergarments, a completely inexperienced virgin who only knew how to shamelessly masturbate to find relief while fantasizing about her best friend.

"hm? so what? they're coming off anyways, princess." gojo reasurred you with a soft smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss on your lips. without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around his neck, indulging in the sweet taste of his lips. he used the strawberry carmex lipbalm religiously.

the kiss was slightly messy, as you were still a little inexperienced in this area as well. you can't remember the last time you last made out with someone, so your teeth clashed with his here and there. but, gojo never complained, he drank in your mistakes and guided you with the fluid movement of his lips and tongue.

the white haired male gave your bottom lip a gentle bite, one of his hands grabbing your jaw to keep your head in place while his other hand pulled down your shorts. gojo threw the annoying article of clothing on the floor, pulling away as a string of saliva connected the both of you.

he looked down and if it was possible to get any harder than how hard he was right now, gojo thought he might've exploded already. you laid under him like a pretty gem, face flushed and your lips swollen as you panted a little from the breathless kiss. a small grin tugged on his lips, the hand grabbing onto your jaw now coming to stroke your cheek.

"just relax for me, princess. let me show you just how much better reality is than your little stories." gojo whispered, leaving open mouthed kisses on your jaw that were leading south until he was peppering kisses on your neck.

you decided to take a leap and pull your t-shirt off, catching gojo off-guard by your sudden eagerness. a genuine smile was forming on his lips at how adorable you looked. your cotton panties had a strawberry pattern on it with a tiny pink bow on the front and your bra was a solid blue color; both of which satoru is well familiar with as the two of you did your laundry together.

"stop staring." you embarrassingly pouted, making him let a raspy chuckle escape his lips.

"can't help it when my best friend is this cute." he teased, pinching your cheek which made you yelp.

"shut up and go back to what you were doing." you nagged, making him cock an eyebrow.

"oh? eager are we?" gojo hummed, skillful fingers whisking your bra off in a matter of seconds, your tits spilling out of the cups that held them. you averted your gaze from him after seeing how gojo's eyes widened, feeling your face grow hotter by the second.

"look at me, y/n."

"no."

"look at me."

"eat my ass."

"i will."

"satoru!" you gasped, finally looking at him as his response caught your attention. however, gojo didn't pay too much mind to it as brought a hand down to fondle your tits, watching how you bit your lips at the sudden squeeze.

"don't look away from me, baby. you're such a pretty girl, so let me admire you for a bit, yeah?" with that being said, gojo latched his lips onto on of your nipples, making you whimper.

"shit.." you moaned, feeling the tip of his tongue flicking the sensitive swollen bud. he peered up to meet your eyes, looking so fucking pretty even with a mouthful of your tits. his stupidly charming blue eyes staring into your half-lidded eyes. you brought to stroke his cheek as he continued to suckle on your nipple.

"pretty boy." you cooed, feeling his hand kneed the plush flesh of your thighs before giving it a little spank, making you squeal. being the tease he is, he gave your nipple a gentle bite before releasing the bud with a 'pop' sound.

"you wore my favorite panties." gojo complimented, making you scoff.

"stop saying that to make me feel better about my mix-matched undergarments." you rolled your eyes.

"you could think that my words are lies but it still won't change the fact that i jerked off with those same panties." he shamelessly shrugged after revealing such a dirty secret, making your mouth gape open.

"huh?!" you were at a loss for words, but, for some reason it made your pussy throb at the thought of your hot best friend masturbating to the thought of you.

even if he used your panties.

"mhm... now, let's put them to some use again." gojo pulled down his shorts along with his boxers, completely disposing them to the floor to meet with the rest of your clothes.

your eyes shamelessly came in contact with his cock and you couldn't help but harshly gulp. gojo was fucking hung, not lacking in any area. his dick had to be at least a good seven or eight inches long, a single vein running on the side of the shaft, with a pretty blush pink tip that was angrily leaking with precum.

"feel a little overwhelmed, princess?" gojo sensed your shock, and you truthfully nodded.

"y-yeah... i never-"

"wait, you're still a virgin, y/n?" he genuinely asked and you thinned your lips before nodding. gojo gasped, slapping a hand on his mouth.

"what the fuck? and you wrote all of that with no experience??" gojo was truly amazed as you shyed away from his eyes.

"it's okay if you don't wanna, you know." your throat went dry, a little disappointed that it would end this way.

"fuck you? of course i wanna fuck you, princess. but, are you sure you're okay with me taking your virginity? we could stop and forget about it if you want to, no pressure." he asked in a soft tone, rubbing your hips in a comforting way.

"yeah, i want you to take it, toru. i trust you." you gave him a girlish smile, making his heart jump.

"okay then. i'm gonna prep you real good to make sure it doesn't hurt as much." gojo pressed a tender kiss on your lips. he stroked his cock a few times as a husky groan left his lips, making him sound so sexy.

gojo hooked two fingers to the side of your panties and lifted them up before sliding his cock inside the fabric. you moaned at the feeling of his warm and hard cock sliding past your folds, his wet tip nudging and coating your clit with his precum.

"fuck. you're so wet, baby." gojo breathed out, leaning down to suck on your tits as he continued to thurst his hips back and forth between your folds. your juices lubricated his cock and the stimulation provided to your clit with every nudge of his tip made your eyes roll back.

"oh my god... just like that, toru. please!" you begged, your hand finding purchase to his snowy locks as you pushed his face further to your tits, as he licked and sucked your nipples. gojo's hips never faltered, continuing to glide his thick dick between your slit, feeling your clit throb.

you felt your orgasm building up, making your breath hitch as you whimpered. after a few more thrusts, you gushed on top of his cock as gojo cummed on your pussy, messily spreading both of your juices on your cunt.

gojo pulled his cock out of your panties, seeing how there's a wet patch on the front of your panties. he used his index finger to outline and rub your clit, making you shake from the overstimulation.

"w-wait." you tried to catch your breath but gojo wasn't gonna let you rest until you cummed on his tongue and fingers.

"nope, gotta stretch you out now, princess." he pinched your clit, making your thighs shut close from the sudden impact.

"you little shit." you threw him a playful glare, to which he only stuck his tongue out and use his strong hands to pry your legs open. this time, gojo wasn't going to be so patient. he pulled your panties down and threw them somewhere, his cerulean eyes fixated on your cunt.

"fucking hell." gojo swore under his breath and you couldn't help but think negatively.

"what's wrong?" you asked a little worried.

"i'm trying to hard to not cum again from just looking at this pretty pussy of yours." he groaned, using his thumbs to spread your lips apart, watching how it glistened with both your and his cum from the previous pantie fucking session.

you supported yourself on your elbow as your other free hand pulled his head forward, crashing your lips onto his. you kissed him with need, sucking on his bottom lip before giving it a bite. gojo began to slide his middle finger between your wet folds, making sure to rub your clit at a fast pace.

you moaned into his mouth, which gojo happily drank as he continued to give the neglected bud some attention. his finger stopped at your hole, experimentally shoving it in a little bit. you winced at the sudden intrusion as gojo's fingers were longer and thicker than yours.

"shh.. it's okay." gojo assured, pecking your lips as he entered his finger. your walls clamped down on his finger and gojo couldn't help but groan at how fucking tight you were.

"shit, gonna have to stretch you out quite a bit if this sweet pussy of yours is gonna take my cock. don't wanna rip you apart, baby." gojo chuckled, kissing your cheek before sliding his body down until his face was directly above your wet aching cunt.

gojo licked a fat stripe up your cunt, eyes rolling back at the taste of your pussy. you tasted so fucking good and he knew he'd get addicted. he slurped up all your juices, his tongue circling your clit before flicking it. you gripped onto his hair, pulling his mouth closer to your needy pussy as you basically humped his face.

gojo decided to add in another finger and a guttural moan escaped your throat, feeling him scissoring in the two thick digits in and out of your hole. your legs began to shake at the amount of pleasure you were getting from being tongue and finger fucked at the same time.

"fuck! augh~ i-i'm gonna c-cum!" you moaned as you felt the knot on your lower stomach tighten, your hole enclosing around his fingers as you creamed on gojo's fingers.

"that's it, there you go, princess." gojo praised, drinking up all your cum and licking you clean. your breathing was irregular as you were trying to calm down your erratic heartbeat.

gojo looked up at you with a slutty expression, his lips glossy with his own spit and your cum along with his chin dripping with your arousal.

"think you ready for me, baby?" he teased, placing a playful kiss on your clit before slotting himself between your legs. gojo's hard cock rest on your inner thigh, his eyes giving you a glimmer full of tease and play.

"i think that if you don't put your dick inside me within the next minute i'll kill myself." you dramatically responded, clearly not in the right state of mind due to pleasure fogging up your mind. gojo laughed at your words, leaning in to kiss you.

you could taste yourself on your tongue, but that did not bother you as much as having your throbbing hole empty.

"toruuu~ pleaseee." you whined, bucking your hip up to his in an attempt to get some friction to relieve the ache between your legs.

"my pretty girl needs something, hm?" he continued his banter, making you pout. you trailed your hand down and grabbed his cock, giving it a few pumps and watched your best friend crumble from your touch.

"need your cock inside me, toru." you said in a sultry voice, using the tip of dick to rub up and down your slit, parting your folds. gojo decided to stop being mean and help you, grabbing the base of his thick cock and rubbing it on your dripping wet cunt.

his tip now rested on top of your hole, his eyes looking up at you for further movement. you nodded your head, hands going to the side to grab the sheets.

"it's gonna really hurt bad for a minute but i promise it'll get better. i'll go slow and gentle, 'kay?" gojo offered you a soft smile as reassurance, to which you nodded, fully trusting him to take care of you.

"can you come closer." you asked in a meek voice, and gojo nodded as he leaned forwards so that you could wrap your arm around his neck.

gojo pushed in the fat bulbous tip of his cock, the stretch of something fatter and bigger than his and your fingers immediately burned.

you winced in pain, making him apologize and you told him that it was okay. gojo stayed like that for a little before thrusting the tip of his dick in and out of you to help you get a little used to the intrusion. it took every fiber of his body to have enough self-control to not shove the entire length of his cock inside your cunt and use it like his personal cocksleeve.

"look at me, y/n." he breathed out, making you open your eyes as your eyes were a little glossy. gojo never fucked a virgin before, and you were his best friend, so he wanted to be extra careful to not hurt you.

"i'm sorry." gojo quickly blurted out and you were confused for a quick minute, until you let out a pained cry as he shoved his entire cock inside your pussy inch by inch. he quickly latched his lips onto yours, swallowing your cries as his thumb came down to play with your clit.

your nails dug into his flesh, tears streaming down your face as the stretch of his cock was so painful.

"hurts so much, toru." you sniffled, mumbling your words on his lips.

"it would've hurt more if i went inch by inch slowly. you'll be okay, baby, trust me." with that being said, gojo slid his cock fully out, your pussy missing the feeling of being full. you mewled at the loss of contact, until he slammed his hips back into you, shoving his cock in one go.

within each slow thrust that he gave you, the pain faded away and you were soon drowning in pleasure. your cunt clamped down on his cock, the delicious feeling of the vein on his cock grazing against your wet walls made your eyes roll back.

"such a sweet pussy, fuck you're so tight." he grunted, grabbing your hips in place as his pace was unforgiving. his cock curved and kissed every inch inside your cunt, making you grip the sheets for dear life.

"satoru! i- fuck. wait, it's too much!" you cried out, your vision becoming blurry and you couldn't tell if it was from the tears that were forming due to overstimulation or from exhaustion.

maybe both.

"you could take it, princess. this pussy was fucking made for my cock." gojo moaned, grabbing the back of your knees before pushing them back to your head; placing you in a mating press.

this new angle gave him a better view of your tits bouncing with every thrust along with every ripple of your ass that came in contact with his heavy balls. your free hand came down to play with your clit as the other hand grabbed the back of his head to give him a sloppy kiss.

"feels so good, toru." you slurred, as his cock continued to kiss your cervix, bullying it's way in and out of your aching hole.

"gonna fuck you so dumb, till you become mine." he grinned against your skin, biting down as he placed a slap on your pussy, making you let out a cry.

"please, please, please! i-i'm gonna cum!" you stuttered out, feeling his balls hit against your ass while he continued to fuck your hole. your cunt began to convulse around his cock.

with another thrust, another rub on your clit and a gentle kiss on the side of your neck, you let out the most desperate and needy moan known to mankind as you began to cum around his cock.

gojo began to chase his own high, satisfied with the ring of white cream forming at the base of his cock, fucking you into over stimulation.

"f-fuck, gonna cum. god, i-i love you, y/n." he choked on his words, fingers clawing onto your hips as he gave you one final thrust before release thick wads of hot cum inside your hole.

gojo fell on top of your body with his arms supporting him a little to make sure he doesn't crush you with his weight, cock still lodged inside your wet cunt that was now filled with both his and your cum.

"i... fuck, i love you too, satoru." you whispered, swallowing thickly from how dry your throat was. you stroked his snowy white hair, the both of you breathing heavily as gojo continued to lazily fuck his cum into you.

"you know, i didn't expect you to be a virgin from how horny you are." gojo giggled, making you hum. he rested his head on your chest, playfully taking your nipple in his mouth as he sucked on it.

"well, i guess i got the real life experience now." you gave him a cheeky smile, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

"better than your little books?" his voice was a little muffled due to having a mouthful of your boobs in his mouth.

"mhm, i should write about it." you thought out loud, catching his attention.

"if you have writers block anytime else, just let me know and i'll help you. that's the least i could do for my dear girlfriend." gojo smirked, making you blush at the last word.

"oh? and since when have you declared that you're my boyfriend?" you joked, making him bite your nipple.

"since forever. you're mine now anyways." he pouted like a child, making you laugh.

"fine, so are you finally gonna let me stack donuts on top of it?" you said, making him look at you with a look of disbelief.

"maybe."

[archangeldyke-all]

"you're fuckin' nasty" she whispers, impressed. you chuckle around her fingers. you've been using the same few moves on sevika since you met, and she's just as shocked and turned on each and every time.

i wrote this line for a smutty fic a few days ago and since then i've been compiling a short list of things you do in bed that drive sevika crazy. hope you enjoy :)

love, angel

men and minors dni

waking her up with head

you learned pretty early on in your relationship not to wake sevika up with head... unless it was a weekend.

the first time you tried was on a wednesday morning. you woke up to pee, but couldn't fall back asleep once you slid back in bed. with an hour to kill before your alarm was due to go off, you figured it was the perfect opportunity to show your girlfriend a little appreciation for the multiple orgasms she'd coaxed out of you last night.

with a bit of shuffling, you positioned yourself under the covers between sevika's naked legs. she's easy to maneuver when she's sleeping. a few kisses to her thighs and she was opening her legs for you with a deep snore. you giggled, and then got to work.

you started slow, not wanting to wake her right away. little kitten licks to her clit, kisses up and down her labia, gently tracing patterns in the soft pubic hair that decorates her inner thighs.

she quickly started getting wet, intermittent huffs escaping her lips, her legs twitching. you started to apply more pressure in your licks, twirling your tongue over her cilt before you sucked it in your mouth. she moaned and sleepily mumbled your name above you.

just as you began to ease your first finger into her, sevika seized up, gasping. the covers were thrown back, the sudden cool air making you shiver as you looked up at your panting sleep ruffled girlfriend.

"morni--" you weren't able to finish your sentence. sevika flipped you on your back and straddled your face, immediately sinking down onto your mouth.

she rode your face until she came, and then with a little begging on your end, rode it again.

you lost yourself between her thighs, high on the taste of her and her cum, a little lightheaded from the oxygen deprivation. the only thing you could see was her lovely bush and a sliver of her taught abs, the only thing you could feel was her hands in your hair. you couldn't hear anything with her thighs squeezing your ears so deliciously, so you must have missed it when your alarm sounded.

by the time she was done with you, she'd come four times and you were pussydrunk, completely unaware of the fact that sevika had smashed the alarm clock to bits with her fist when it sounded half an hour ago and interrupted her orgasm. she seemed to forget this fact too, as she began to kiss down your body eager to repay you.

by the time the two of you were done, it was half past noon.

you cursed her out as you rushed to get ready for work, already three hours late.

she simply shrugged, typing away on her phone.

if you hadn't been so late you would've been throwing your shoes at her instead of hastily shoving them on.

just as you were rushing out the door, you felt her tug on your arm.

sevika twirled you around to face her, holding her phone up beside her.

"texted your boss. told him you were sick. he said 'no worries, tell her get better. thumbs up emoji.'" she read off her phone.

"and i just told silco something came up." she said with a cheeky smirk as she tossed her phone behind her aimlessly.

"i really can't believe i tolerate you." you grumbled as she began to tug you back to the bedroom, her fingers unbuttoning your work shirt.

"what'd you expect to happen when you wake me up with a surprise like that?" she asked as she shoved you back in bed.

2. tucking a pair of your panties into her pockets

one time, the two of you were attending some boring ass fundraiser for a business friend of silco's. you'd had a long day at work but insisted you'd come anyways, despite sevika assuring you you didn't have to. you knew how much she hated these things and didn't want her to have to suffer alone.

in an attempt to keep you awake, sevika'd been teasing you all night, gently trailing her fingers higher and higher on your thigh beneath the tablecloth.

every ten minutes, she'd lean over to whisper something dirty in your ear. for the first hour or so, you were able to keep it together, but after a few too many glasses of champagne, you were so wet you were sure you were going to slide out of your seat.

at some point she had to leave the table to make small talk. she'd huffed an annoyed sigh and pressed a kiss to your head.

"i'll be back soon. then i'm getting us the fuck out of here." she whispered, gently tucking her blazer over your shoulders.

you took the opportunity to run to the bathroom. you fussed with your hair in the mirror for a minute then splashed your face with cold water in an attempt to soothe the lust burning inside you. with a sigh you entered a stall, hiking your dress up and pulling your panties down to pee.

you were soaked. it was kind of pathetic.

just as you were finishing up, you were struck by a moment of genius. you giggled as you kicked off your panties, shoving them in the inner pocket of sevika's blazer.

you wiped and flushed, washed your hands and fluffed your hair and returned to chit chat with familiar faces as you waited for sevika to finish.

the night went on for hours. by the time the two of you were leaving you were practically asleep in sevika's arms.

she chuckled as you nuzzled into her chest, leaning against a light post waiting for your taxi.

"need a smoke." she grumbled. you pulled away as she patted her pockets, looking for her cigarette tin.

you had completely forgotten about the little surprise you'd hidden away in her blazer until sevika froze, her eyes snapping to yours.

"whoops." you giggled. "forgot i put those there."

you were saved from being fucked against the lamppost by the arrival of the cab sevika had called, but the second you got home she was tearing your dress off and shoving your panties in your mouth.

needless to say, sevika managed to keep you awake much later than you anticipated that night.

3. helping her put her strap on

it's always a little awkward when the two of you have to pause for sevika to shimmy into her harness and get it all buckled up.

it's one of your favorite parts of sex, actually.

the silly giggles that ring out as she trips over her feet make your heart melt, and watching the way she sticks her tongue out as she tries to buckle the tricky buckles always makes you smile.

but if you really want to rev her up, you kneel before her to gently guide her feet through the loops, kissing the buckles after you adjust them to hug her snugly.

each time you do she shudders, a full bodied thing that she can't control.

she fucks you like an animal every time you use this move, growling and clawing at you, manhandling you and snarling anytime you try to move from where she's arranged you. it's hot as fuck, but you always have trouble walking the next day.

4. biting her

nips and hickeys always get sevika going, but if you bite her she'll cum. instantaneously. she can't help it.

if you've been making out, you can lean down and bite her shoulder and she'll cum, cursing you and shaking beneath you.

if she's fucking you from behind and has her hand over your mouth, you can sink your teeth in and feel her thrusts stutter as she chokes out a 'fuck! 'm cumming!'

you try to use your power sparingly, but sometimes you can't help yourself.

once the two of you were in a little play scuffle, fighting over the remote for the television. you were determined to watch something besides the boring ass nano-biology docu-series sevika'd been obsessed with. she had you in a headlock by her hip, giving you a noogie as she cackled. you huffed and turned your head to bite her hip... and then it was your turn to laugh as she gasped and shook, cumming in her pants in the middle of the living room.

5. telling her you love her

it sounds corny, and sevika would rather die than admit it, but she falls apart every time you tell her you love her in bed.

she could have a plan to tease and edge you all night long, but the second those three words leave your lips she'd be sighing a sweet little sigh and easing into you, kissing your pout away.

on one particularly memorable occasion, you had tied sevika's hands to the bed frame to ride her, and had moaned out a 'love you' as you came. a loud ripping noise echoed through the room as sevika broke through her bonds to pull you closer to her.

you guys don't fight enough to have angry sex, but sometimes one of you will need it a little rougher and harder than usual. it's invigorating to fuck like you hate each other, but it never lasts because you can never help yourself from choking out those three words. when you do, sevika halts her brutal pace, her expression melting from a look of intense concentration into an affectionate smile. she admires you for a moment before she begins again at a much slower pace, pressing her whole body against yours, kissing whatever part of you she can reach, repeating the words back to you. "love you too baby," she whispers reverently. "so fuckin' much."

[pauking5]

Addicting Taste Chapter 5

Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x reader oc

Genre: strangers to lovers, sunshine and sunshine protector, comedic relief, slow burn, a lot of fluff, smut (in premiere)

Word count: 8.9k+

A/N: This chapter was a ride. Parts of it were sitting in my drafts for the past few weeks and I'm happy that it's finally out. Breaking Up With Jesus by Reve is to blame for the way I wrote the smut. Hope the spice is to your liking since it's my first time writing it ;) Enjoy lovelies, Paula.

Previous Bonus Next

Dumplings. Oh, how delicious and soft they all look. Dozens upon dozens laid out ahead, waiting for you to dig in. You reached out for one and another one, and kept going until all you could feel on your tongue was their sweet taste. This was heaven.

As you were sitting on the ground chewing away multiple dumplings at once something caught your eyes. On the right, sitting on top of a pillar, sat a dumpling bigger than the palm of your hand. It looked so plump and you bet your last coin that it tasted delicious. Getting up from the ground you went over to try and grab it but each time you jumped after it the pillar rose higher.

“I’m gonna have you and you will taste amazing," you say struggling to reach for the dumpling.

Putting more force into it you jumped and you got the dumpling off the pillar, floating back down to the ground. This was it. The moment you’ve been waiting for. You lifted the delicacy to your mouth and placed your lips on it to taste it when…

The sound of what appeared to be a pot and a pan hit together woke you up from your dream. You rolled in bed trying to cover your ears with the duvet to stop any more of the noise coming in.

“WHO THE FUCK-“

“It’s time for training,” said a rather enthusiastic Enishi, putting the pots away moving to stand in front of your bed. You opened your eyes to look at him, staring daggers at him violently. No one had the privilege to wake you from your precious dreams. Not even the heavens above.

“Get. the. fuck. out. of. my. room.”

“Someone’s cranky," he said, signature smirk sitting proudly on his face.

Well of course you were cranky. You couldn't sleep after the whole encounter in his office. You made a pact with the devil without thinking it through and it came to bite you in the ass. When you got back to your room you sat on your bed trying to think of a plan of attack and you came up with nothing. You practiced a few basic moves you normally used to get them under control, staying up until the early hours of dawn. So it was no surprise that you were currently annoyed at him for waking you up so early in an idiotic way at that.

“Enishi, I swear to god—“

You didn’t get to finish because he leaned down and took your pillow from under your head in one swift move. The movement made your head fuzzy, letting it fall flat on the bed. He got up just as quickly and ran out of the room with your pillow under his arm.

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU,” you said as you got up and ran out after him.

You ran around the mansion hallways, closing in on the kitchen area. Stopping on opposite sides of the kitchen island you tried to block off his escape routes. Taking one quick left to fool you into reaching for him only to switch to the right, he successfully avoided your arms. Puffing out your chest in annoyance you took off after him again, following him to his office this time. He stopped in the middle of the room with nowhere to run, shifting to hold your pillow high so you wouldn't be able to reach it. You looked like a cat as you tried your hardest to jump after it.

Focusing too hard on getting back your precious pillow you jumped too high and lost your balance as you came back down. Before you could fall to the floor, strong arms wrapped around you, keeping you steady. Looking up, you saw Enishi’s face mere inches away from yours.

“You’ve got no space awareness at all do you?” he asked, a grin taking over his face. You really weren't in the mood for his antics today.

“Go fuck yourself," you say as you pushed him away. You made your way to the door and stopped when he called your name.

“You forgot your pillow—“ you cut him off whacking him over the head with it, storming back to your room. You had to get ready for the fight of your life.

—————————————————————————

This was it. The moment you would find out if the past weeks of training paid off or not. Nerves were taking over with every step you took. It wasn't too late to turn back and lock yourself in the comfort of your room. But you needed this. You needed to see if there was a chance for you to become the best without bringing her back.

Pushing open the doors to the terrace you stopped on the doorstep. Enishi was already there, stretching his arms, blue kimono resting on the back of a chair. Your hands got stuck on the doors as you thought it through again. You weren't ready, getting cold feet in the worst way possible.

Ah fuck. I can't do this.

Before you could turn around in defeat, a pair of eyes fixed on you. He picked up on your nerves from a mile away and flashed you a soft smile in hopes it would help. He knew this was a lot in such a short time, but he believed in you. He wanted you to get better and if you didn't do well today it wasn't that much of a big deal. You could always try again tomorrow.

His smile felt encouraging, giving you some hope that you could do something productive today. Taking a few deep breaths to slow down your accelerating heartbeat, you stepped away from the threshold of the cooking area, making your way to the middle of the garden. Reaching a few feet away from him you stretched your limbs, mind darting over the moves you practiced. Once you were done you straightened your back and took your place.

I didn't train so hard for nothing. I can do this. Let's beat his ass.

Enishi sensed an energy shift around you. You were ready to go, hands standing on the defensive, body angled for attack. He thought you changed so much in the last few weeks. When he met you that night at the precinct, you looked determined to skewer anyone who crossed you in the slightest. But there was this part of you that was afraid. Getting to know about your past made him understand why. You needed to get out of your head which is why he trained you this way. It only took a small push from his part to make you come out of your shell and he felt proud of what you accomplished so far.

He was proud of you.

Getting into a fighting stance of his own he watched as you started circling him. Your eyes narrowed in on him, preparing to read his moves. Just like he taught you.

"I won't go easy on you."

"I don't expect you to," you said and with that you launched yourself at him.

Lean muscles seared with force as your fist collided with his palm, slightly throwing him off balance. So your strength did get better. Latching his palm on your wrist he pulled you to him, pushing you down to the floor with his other hand. You landed on your hands and quickly hauled yourself back up.

"Your aim improved, but it's still not the best," he said as he charged at you. You ducked just in time, sneaking behind him to land a kick to his side. He reacted fast and turned, catching your leg just before it could hit him. He yanked on it getting you closer to him. You gripped his sturdy shoulders to balance yourself on your other leg.

"Hitting from the back is low, even for you," he said, fingers stroking your leg trying to throw you off balance. Little fucker.

"I wasn't planning on being civil today."

Pulling yourself up using his shoulders, you pushed off the ground and threw your other leg around his torso hanging to him like a koala. Twisting your body around his middle, you used all your force and tugged on your legs to pull him down as your hands reached for the ground. Your move caught him off guard and he almost hit the ground beside you if it wasn't for his annoying amount of balance. He turned his fall into a spin in the air landing in kneeling position, smirking at you. You threw your head back in frustration.

He's reading me too well. I have to change the strategy.

This time you let him come at you. His punches rained from all sides, moving relentlessly to land a blow on you, but you were just too fast for him. You noticed that he put a lot of strength into minimal movement and you used that to your advantage. Your small form proved to be a huge help as you darted around his robust body. He was getting frustrated with your tactic and you were enjoying every bit of it.

"Stop defending and attack!"

"Someone's getting impatient," you smirked. He was getting tired of swinging and that was exactly what you wanted.

He was going a little easy on you but his patience wore thin. He gave you the benefit of the doubt as he thought you were unprepared to take on him but you proved him wrong, pushing his buttons in the process.

Fast punches came your way and you caught every single one of them. The adrenaline that coursed through your body gave you inhuman strength as you pushed him backwards, making him stumble. You matched his pace and turned his own moves on him.

While your ego was filling up, his was slowly cracking. He came at you again, arms tightly clamping down on yours, throwing you off balance. You tried your hardest to get out of his hold but his grip wouldn't budge in the slightest. Locking them even tighter, he swung your arms and sent you flying to the other side of the garden. You landed on your shoulder, pain shooting down your arm. You got too cocky and it backfired on you.

Groaning to yourself, you got back up and rolled your shoulder backwards, wincing at the discomfort. You weren't going to back down, not when when you got this far.

Your marched back to him, slow steps turning into a full sprint. Jumping high enough, you brought your leg down into a kick, which he ducked. You dipped every time he tried to lay his hands on you, delivering a few quick punches to his abdomen that he failed to avoid.

You caught him by surprise as you ducked and swiped your leg behind his to throw him off his feet. Finally, he landed on his back accepting defeat, but not without latching a hand on your arm, tugging you down with him. Your body fell on top of his, arms securely wrapping around you. The feeling of his chest pressed flush to yours made your stomach flutter. You tried to steady your breathing that only picked up the more you gazed into his eyes.

"You did it," he exhaled. A smile took over his features as he looked at you.

"I did it," you said with a giggle as you laid your hand came to rest on top of his chest. His hand that was resting on your lower back trailed up to lightly grip your shoulder, causing you to wince. You suddenly remembered you were in pain. Worry flashed in his eyes as he checked you over, sitting you up.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you tried to convince him but the frown on your face told him otherwise.

"Let me have a look."

"I said I'm fine- OUCH!" you cried as he touched your shoulder again and you flinched away in pain.

"Stop being so stubborn." He leaned over and took your arm in his, turning it around slowly to avoid causing you more pain. "It looks dislocated."

"What do you mean dislocated?" The adrenaline in your body started to wear off and the throbbing in your shoulder intensified, making you unable to hide it anymore.

"I can put it back, but it's going to hurt. Ready?" Your eyes snapped at him.

"You mean now? Hell no-" he pushed your shoulder back into place using your rambling as a distraction. You cried in pain holding onto it, forehead falling to rest on his shoulder.

"I hate you," you groaned, mumbling into his chest.

"I know you do," he chuckled, rubbing away at your shoulder to try and help with the pain.

"Is this a good moment to tell you we're going on your first mission?" You lifted your head, face beaming with excitement.

"You're joking."

"I'm dead serious. I think you're ready," he said as he got up and gave you a helping hand, gently pulling you to your feet. "I know you probably have a lot of questions, but I think it's best you go get some rest first."

“Okay. I'll swing by later," you said walking towards the kitchen.

"Put some ice on it," he shouted from behind you and you shot him a thumbs up with your good arm.

—————————————————————————

You tried to take a quick nap. Keyword: tried. No matter how hard you tried to sleep you couldn’t contain your excitement. It felt surreal that you were back in business so soon. My first mission here.

Deciding that it was no use to spend more time in bed, you got up and walked to the vanity table. You pulled out your pistols from the top drawer and ran your fingers on the golden rose crests that decorated the frame. They needed a little dusting off and tinkering, but they looked ready for some action. It’s been a while since I put these bad boys to good use.

The golden light filtering in through the window told you the sun was setting. You figured now was as good of a time to go over the plan with Enishi. You made your way to his office, stretching your shoulders to get rid of the previous strain from your combat session.

You thought back to the fight. As much as you improved, you felt like he did manage you a little, at least in some parts. Even if he did, he wouldn't admit it out loud if he wanted to keep his balls in the same place they are now. Anyhow, you were glad you got the opportunity to kick him off his high horse a tiny bit. He could be all "I am the god of martial arts" sometimes, but he knew when to tone it down.

You remembered the proud look on his face as he pulled you to the ground with him was enough to add ten years to your lifespan. There was something about it that made you feel confident in yourself and maybe that was what he wanted to accomplish. He seemed to have this empowering complex, always talking you out of your head when you needed it the most. It was like he knew what made you lock up and what made you open in such a short time and it kind of terrified you. He met the broken version of you all those years ago and now he knows the real you to a certain degree.

But you met him too. The present, real him. The Enishi that doesn't stray away from his goals, who does everything in his power to help people. You didn't want to admit it but he grew on you, latching onto you like a string of hearts. They are plants that need moderate care, often wallowing in sadness when they don't get enough sunlight or water. But looking at them makes you feel hope and warmth. As cold as the veins in their leaves appear to be, the green surrounding them embraces it in the shape of a heart. As weak as its stems look, they try their hardest to hold the hearts up so people can admire them and feel at peace. Enishi is like that too. You connected like the strings of the plant and you didn't want to untangle yourself from him just yet.

Your train of thought was cut short as you came to a halt in front of his office. Knocking on the door he beckoned you in. He was sat at his desk looking over maps and plans. The sleeves of his kimono were rolled up to his elbows, allowing you to see his arms, veins popping and twisting the more he moved his hand around. He looked deep in thought as his eyes were casted down on on the papers in his hands.

"How's your shoulder?" he asked without looking up from his work.

"Better. Thank you." You moved to stand next to him. "So... what's the plan for the mission?"

"There's a mafia playing at a casino in the city tomorrow night. They're called the Dao," he said as he pointed to a few wanted posters laying on the desk. "They're carrying the shipment we... failed to steal a few weeks ago," he continued.

Wait. The shipment I saw them loading off the docks that night?

"The plan is to go in and keep them distracted while the others load the goods onto our carriages. Once they're done we can leave quietly like we weren't even there in the first place." You nodded at all the information you were receiving, but you were failing to see what your role was supposed to be in this plan.

"So what do you want me to do?"

"You'll be inside with me. We're going to buy our way in to the usual poker game they host privately and play them a little."

"That's great actually."

"And why is that?" he prodded, eyebrow lifting in confusion at your sudden excitement.

"I'm great at poker," you confidently stated. He nearly laughed at you if it wasn't for the way you narrowed your eyes at him in a death stare.

"I guess we'll have to see if you are tomorrow."

—————————————————————————

Tomorrow couldn't come fast enough, finding you in a bit of a situation. You had no idea what to wear. The duffel bag you carried was basically your only wardrobe and your outfit choices were limited. Another issue was that you were going to a casino, which called for a little class and finesse.

After wafting through every outfit combination that was sprawled on your bed, you set on a shirt with a corset on top and a skirt matching your red corset. There was just a problem though. You needed help lacing up your corset. In the process of rethinking your outfit for the hundredth time, a soft knock echoed on the door.

“Come in.”

“I came to see if you’re ready,” he said, eyes going wide when he saw you. Your hair was made in an updo, long strands of hair cascading down your shoulders. The cotton shirt showed off your collar bones, while the velvet corset pushed your chest upwards, showing the tiniest sliver of cleavage but not too over-the top. It matched the ruby skirt that fell just a few inches above your knees. He thought you looked breathtaking.

“You have perfect timing. Could you help me lace up this thing?”

“I.. Yeah, sure," he breathed out.

He walked to your spot in front of the mirror and stopped behind you. Fixing your gaze through the mirror, you watched as he picked up the corset strings wrapping them around his slender fingers. He pulled on them until the corset looked tight enough on you but you motioned him to pull it tighter. He laced the rest of the strings up in a bow and smoothed a hand on the crisscross pattern, icy hand coming in contact with your warm back as you dragged in a shaky breath.

“You’re going like this?”

“I don’t really have anything else to wear.”

“Make sure you put a coat on.”

“But it’s a casino. I’m supposed to show off these goodies," you gestured to your chest as he tried his hardest to avert his eyes to somewhere else.

“Coat on or you’re staying here," he said and walked away, leaving you dumbfounded. What has gotten into him now?

The truth was that he thought you were showing a little too much. Once he was out of your room, he leaned on the wall besides the door and released a breath. You looked absolutely beautiful. But that was a sight he wanted to reserve for himself. You weren’t his. But he was damned if he would let anyone else see you like this tonight.

—————————————————————————

The carriage halted and Enishi stepped out first, holding a hand to you. He wore a white shirt under a blue qipao, intricate patterns reflecting in the dim light of the night. You took his hand and he helped you down from the carriage, fingers lingering on yours for a few moments before he let go.

"Is everyone in their places?" he asked Wu, who was driving your carriage. He nodded and left, hiding the carriage in the woods nearby.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

The casino was on the outskirts of Shanghai, which made escaping a possible mafia war easier. The outside of the building looked like a normal warehouse, but the inside was far from it. Carpeted floors in red and gold greeted you as you walked in, paving the way to the main area filled with sitting booths. A reception bar sat at the far end of the entrance, buzzing with customers. To the right was a corridor that was guarded by armed men. That must be the way to the poker rooms.

You made your way to the bar ordering a drink for you and Enishi, scouting the premises. How are we supposed to get in there without getting broken in half like a toothpick?

Your question was answered as a woman approached Enishi and beckoned him to follow her to the corner. Her blonde hair fell behind her back as she leaned her hand up on the wall, putting all her goodies on sight for him. He replicated her flirty gazes as he trailed a hand up her exposed arm.

Her black corset was laced tightly around her body, pushing her bulky breasts together. You looked down at your own, a little disappointed that you lacked in that area. The high slit on her purple skirt showed off her legs. She wore the tallest heels you've ever seen.

She looked so much more feminine than you and it made your confidence falter slightly. You didn't really care about looks before so why did it affect you so much right now?

You felt really self-conscious ever since you met Enishi. The loose clothes you used to lounge around in changed to tighter fitting clothes. They were better for training, that's what you told yourself. You fixed the bird's nest in your hair more frequently, braiding or putting it up in sophisticated styles. It made training easier, you told yourself again and again.

"Any chance you could get us in there?" you heard him ask the woman as she twirled her hair around her fingers.

"Depends on what you're willing to do for it," she said leaning further on the wall, flaunting her cleavage at him. Can she choke or something?

It wasn't strange that she found him attractive. Enishi was eye candy, holding himself like the gods sculpted him. Who wouldn't want to get a chance to explore the defined physique under his clothes?

He pulled out a handful of money bonded together and handed it to her discreetly. She took the money with a disappointed huff and went on her way to the men on guard. She whispered something to one of them and motioned you to follow her. Leading you down the long corridor she stopped showing you a door with the number 7 crested in golden. Well that was so hard.

After she left, Enishi turned to you seeing you look rather displeased.

"What?"

"Nothing." You leaned a hand on the wall and copied blondie's earlier position, hand on your hip as you batted your eyelashes at him. "Depends on what you're willing to do for it," you say mimicking her annoying voice. He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him.

"Why are you laughing?"

"It looks like someone is jealous."

"Who? ME?! No. Not me. She can have you for all I care."

"Is that so?"

You nodded determined to show him you weren't affected in any way by the flirty exchange that took place earlier. Sparing you one more look he turned towards the door.

"Let's get this show rolling."

——————————————

The smell of opium hit you like a train, smoke hanging briskly in the confined air of the room. In the middle at a round table sat three men playing poker. You recognised them from the posters on Enishi's desk. The one in the middle was the boss of the Daos, the other two were his henchmen. Armed men sat behind them and around the room, busying themselves with their drinks.

There were no cards on the table yet which meant they just started the game. The dealer was a woman dressed just like the one you encountered at the bar. She looked scared as she mixed the cards, probably because she was here against her will. All heads turned to you as you walked in and sat down in the empty seat at the table.

"This is a private game," said a gruff voice from your right, belonging to the boss.

"This seat is empty, isn't it?" you asked, taking your coat off.

"What does a girl like you know about poker?" the one on your left asked after looking at you, licking his lips of the narcotics he smoked.

"You'd be surprised. Deal me in," you said confidently, hand held out for Enishi to hand you some money. He hesitated at first, but after seeing the determination on your face he sighed and dropped five thick stacks in your hand.

You shot the woman dealing the cards a look. She looked at the boss for approval and he nodded. A curious glint in his eyes told you he was curious about you and how far you could go. He had nothing to lose, especially with the amount of money sitting by your hands.

You quickly figured that the boss was the strongest player. His only flaw was that he bet everything knowing that his men would never go against him. He deemed you a weak player in the first dealings, but that was only because you were holding back on raising your bets on purpose, playing the weak damsel act to buy you some time.

Once you got your fourth card, you dealt all your money in, raising the bet double the amount. You smirked looking at the four cards in your hand, red hearts smiling back at you. A ten of hearts, a jack, a king and an ace. All you needed was a queen and you could play your hand in a royal flush, the highest card combination in the game.

"What's got you so happy, sweetheart?" asked the boss, confused at the smile pulling at your mouth.

"You'll see," you mumbled to yourself as you got your fifth card, completing your hand.

The dealer called the hands and the man on your right went first, placing his cards on the table. He had a lucky three of a kind as he turned to smirk at you. The other man in front of you showed his, grinning as he got a better hand than the other one, a strong full house thrown on the table. These guys were strong players despite having to yield in to their boss.

The boss took a long drag of smoke and smiled creepily at you. He placed down his cards, a straight flush of spades sitting idly on the table. He started reaching for the money in the middle before you cut him off with a look.

Enishi sat behind you, mouth slightly agape, until he took a look at your cards. "You're joking," you heard him mumble before you placed down your cards, a sheer of gasps erupting around the room.

"A ROYAL FLUSH?!" yelled the boss, the men sitting around the table just as surprised. You chuckled and turned to Enishi, a proud smirk taking over his features. You went all in and won against one of the most ruthless mafias in the country. He felt a little embarrassed for second guessing you without seeing you play.

You were about to reach for the earnings on the table as a man stumbled in the room.

"The shipment! It's gone," he said as he approached the boss. The earlier shock on his face was replaced by anger as he stood up to strangle the man, lifting him off the ground.

Enishi tapped on your shoulder, eyes motioning you towards the door. You had to get out of here now, whilst all the attention was on the man being choked. You made quick work of putting your coat on and got up quietly, reaching for the money in the middle of the table, before Enishi stopped you shaking his head. But I won them fair and square, you said with a look. We have to get out of here now, he pressed.

"How did this happen?" yelled the boss shaking the life out of the man. He pointed a trembling finger at you just as you were about to walk out of the door.

"Hold it right there," said the boss cocking his gun at you.

"This was an amazing game," you said with a hand on the door handle. "By the way, YOU SUCK," you yelled as Enishi pulled you down the corridor.

"Did you really have to?"

"The look on his face was priceless," you giggled. You came to a halt in the main area as everyone turned to look at you. The shouts of the boss were heard down the hall as the whole gang closed in on you.

"Don't let them get away."

There were about twenty armed men circling around you and there was only two of you, the only one actually armed being you. You reached for the pistols in the garter under your skirt, sitting back to back with Enishi.

We are so royally fucked.

—————————————

Guns were fired your way and you dodged them, shooting your pistols relentlessly. You managed to reduce the gang members to a half, while Enishi took to breaking limbs left and right.

You were shooting your gun at a taller guy when the clicks on your pistols locked and you realised you were out of ammo. He went to tackle you but you ducked before he could lay hands on you, going for a sweep, knocking his feet from under him. Another one got hold of your coat and you spun around taking it off your shoulders, using your arms to twist it in the man's hold. You pulled on it making him fall forward and you kicked him, projecting him into the bar island. Your coat ripped down the middle from the force. My only coat, gone. You served me well.

The guy got up from the floor and started throwing the glasses sitting on top of the bar at you. You barely dodged a cocktail glass aimed at your head, catching it mid-air. You sniffed the clear liquid recognising it to be vodka and you downed it in one go, throwing the glass behind you.

"That would've been a waste of good liquor." He sneered as he charged at you and you ran behind the bar taking hold of a beer bottle. When he got close you smashed it on his head rendering him unconscious.

Fire was opened again, this time towards you and you sunk to the floor taking cover behind the bar. Enishi joined you from the other side, reeling in next to you.

"What now?"

"We wait until they run out of bullets."

As if on cue the gunfire halted and you got up from your spots taking on the remaining members. Enishi slid over the bar landing a kick to someone's face mid-air. You took hold of a broom and used it like the bo staff you trained with.

Swaying the wooden stick around you cleared the path for him. Two goons jumped at you, trying to take your weapon. You were busy holding one of them off trying to shake his hands off the broom and failed to notice the chair heading straight to you.

"Miyu, watch out!" You turned just before it smashed into your back and dodged out of the way, letting the chair fall straight into the guy you were fighting off, both of them knocking into each other.

Enishi was fighting another pair. One of them pulled out a knife and tried to stab him. You intercepted the sneaky attack and caught his hand, kicking the knife away before yanking him towards your fist. He punched the other one and they both fell to the floor in sync.

You looked around at the mess you caused, trying to get your breath under control. The boss was nowhere to be found and you assumed he scurried off somewhere with the tail between his legs.

Spotting it among the pile of bodies, you went and picked up the shreds of your coat from the floor, smoothing a hand over it. Enishi took off his qipao and put it on your shoulders heading to the exit, without saying anything.

—————————————————————————

He didn’t speak a word on the way back. The only gestures he made were to direct Wu to take you back to the mansion. He didn't even look at you when you asked him about the mission. All he did was sit in complete silence, eyes closed in meditation, jaw clenched in irritation.

You went over everything that happened back at the casino. The blonde flirting with him, the poker game, the fight. Nothing stood out enough to be a problem and you certainly didn't do anything wrong, besides taunting and stealing off a mafia boss. Regardless, his silence was driving you crazy to say the least.

Why do I even care? I went and did my job and we finally got the weapons. What could possibly make him this mad?

You were snapped out of your thoughts as the carriage came to a halt in front of the mansion. Enishi quickly got off without sparing you a look, leaving the door open for you to get out yourself.

Wow. Fucking diva.

You stepped down from the carriage with the help of Wu and took off after him. You were determined to find out what made him this mad. His steps were fast like he wanted to get away from you but you weren't going to give him the satisfaction. You weren’t going to let him push you away again. He opened the door to his room and before he could close it shut you sneaked in.

He stopped in the middle of the dimly lit room, shoulders rolled in annoyance. You took in his room from your place by the door. His room seemed to be a mirror of yours, the only difference being that his was as dark as room décor could get. The cool light of the night washed the room in an even darker shade, currently reflecting its owners mood.

“Why are you here?”

“I want to know why you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Cut the bullshit, Enishi. You haven’t said one word on the way back. Did I do something wrong?”

With a sigh he turned around to face you. His eyes were visible to you even in the heavy darkness. They seemed to drink you in with greed, debating on whether he should say something or keep the thoughts raging in his head quiet. He settled on the former, the adrenaline of the fight still pumping through his veins. If he didn't say anything now he knew he would regret it forever.

“You didn’t respect the plan,” he said taking a step towards you. “We were supposed to go in and get out,” another step, “not provoke a fight,” he stopped in front of you.

“Fuck the plan! We had them right in the palm of our hand. We got what we wanted, right? What else matters?”

“You! You matter,” he growled as he closed the distance between you, pinning you to the door. “You… drive me up the fucking wall,” he said as he settled both of his arms on either side of you.

“What?” you mumbled under your breath.

“I can’t take it anymore,” he exhaled and the next thing he did caught you by surprise. Warm lips landed on yours, moving with burning desire against your clueless ones. Your eyes widened in surprise and you froze, leaning a hand on the wall behind to keep you steady.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,” he said as he pulled apart just enough for you to get a breath in, before he leaned in again, this time with much more hunger.

It was like your body caught on fire. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do so for the time being you settled on kissing him back. His hands moved from beside you to card through your hair, the other moving to sit at the base of your neck, pushing your face impossibly closer to his. His breaths were running wild across your skin as he moved down to your neck. Every kiss leaving his mouth was tightly sawn into your skin making your breaths heavier.

You craved and were afraid of his touch at the same time. Enishi could be both gentle and rough and you had no idea which one was sitting before you right now. Your mind was in constant tug of war between restraint and giving in to him. He didn’t let you wallow in your thoughts too much as a butterfly kiss to your collar bone brought you back to earth. He stopped and looked at you to make sure this was something you wanted too. Tracing your eyes to his, you saw the previous hunger in his eyes turned into sincere want. That was the only confirmation you needed to know as to which Enishi was with you right now, wasting no time in capturing his lips, a little rougher than he did.

Your mouths fought for dominance, none of you wanting to give in and submit to the other. The way his fingers worked to undo the corset he tied up for you just a few hours ago turned you on and you couldn’t wait anymore.

“Rip it off,” you whined.

“After I struggled so hard to tie it up—“

“Enishi, I don’t give two flying fucks. Rip it to fucking shreds.”

“Someone’s getting impatient,” he chuckled. Seeing you so worked up amused him. He didn’t want to make you wait any longer so he untangled his fingers from the strings and in one brisk move he pulled apart your corset, breaking it in two together with the white shirt underneath. The poor pieces of fabric fell to the floor, revealing your chest.

He revelled at the sight before him. You were exactly what he imagined in lewd fantasies at night, when his head was webbed with only thoughts of you. What set him on fire the most was that he knew you thought of him in that way too. Your eyes gave you away way too many times for him to not take notice of it. He just hid his a lot deeper so you wouldn't notice it. He failed to keep the thoughts away each time his hand found yours, or your waist, or your face.

You consumed him and you didn't even know it.

Tracing his hand down your arm made tingles dance all over your body. You couldn’t take his teasing anymore, not when you were this bare in front of him. If he's not going to move, I’ll do it myself.

With maddening frustration, you launched at his lips, capturing them wildly like they were the very essence of life. He responded to your attack with pleasure rolling off his vocal chords grunting into your mouth. Taking the opportunity, you pressed your hands on his clothed chest and ripped away at his shirt too, soft cotton turning into a mere rag as you pulled at it. Enishi was taken aback by your rawness and broke the kiss just enough to take another breath to be able to fight your mouth for his share of dominance.

He pulled you closer to get the skirt off of you just as you worked on his pants. You didn’t even notice you were already leaned back on his bed, spread wide for him to see all of you. Thoughts of every fantasy he had of you were spinning around in his head and he struggled to pick just one.

“Draw a picture it will last longer,” you say sitting up on your elbows.

“I’m gonna fuck this attitude out of you.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

The whole thing turned into another competition you both couldn’t get enough of. He wasn’t going to back down and neither were you. Most girls got shy whenever they saw this hunk of a man stand above them, ready to turn them to whimpering wrecks. But you weren’t most girls and you planned on showing him that.

He was spending too much time observing you and you were growing desperate. Deciding to take the reins, you sat up to mirror his kneeling position on the bed and laid your hands on his chest, pushing him backwards until he fell on his back. Straddling his lap, you leaned down to take in his gasps of surprise in a chaste kiss. A kiss so slow that it made his insides burn with lust.

“Miyu, stop fucking around,” he groaned between kisses.

“That’s what you were doing a minute ago,” you say smirking through the kiss. He responded by raking his hand through your scalp and gently pulling at it, drawing a moan from you.

“I love seeing you this needy for me," he said, biting down on your lip. "I haven’t even done anything to you yet and here you are, ready to pounce on me if I don’t give it to you.”

You were begging. All for someone who’s never touched you to do just that. Because you knew he would do it exactly the way you wanted.

Enishi was chaos. He was like a drug to you, a damn good one at that. Once you got a tang of it you kept wanting more. The more time you spent with him the wilder your delusions got and you realised you were addicted to his taste.

You continued the makeout session, rolling around in the bed, tongues fighting for power. You sat on his lap, skillfully pushing into him without a breath. Every time you came up for air he pulled your head back down to him. He was just as addicted to you.

“My turn,” he smirked taking your lips in his. His hands trailed down your shoulders to your chest and he held your breasts, softly squeezing them. It turned you on beyond repair and you couldn’t help the whines escaping your throat.

“What do you want me to do?” he whispered, lips stopping a few inches away, teasingly grazing yours.

“Anything,” you replied, moving your head up to catch them, failing as he moved away from you. You dropped your head on his pillows, feeling lightheaded from the anticipation. He could do whatever he wanted to you as long as he did something.

“I need words, Miyu.” The way he spoke your name made goosebumps raise on your arms. His voice alone managed to undo you.

“I want you to ruin me. Take me to God or to Satan for all I care.”

He didn’t waste any more time and took to trailing the most teasing kisses down your body, from the dip in your neck down to your navel. He savored every part of you like a priest chastising the Sunday mass. He preached your body like a prayer, prepared to sink you in the depths of his hell. He only knew sin and he was going to taint you in his darkness tonight.

His kisses got slower the closer he got to your throbbing core, the part that was aching for him the most. You couldn’t believe he was performing your wildest dreams. You made the mistake of rubbing your legs together to create some friction, wanting him to touch you already, only to have him pull your knees apart spreading you back out. He caressed your thighs, fingers running from the base of your knees all the way to your hips, missing your core by just a few inches. The waiting was driving you mad, turning you into a whining mess.

“Enishi, stop messing around.”

“I haven’t even started darling.”

Securing a hand around your torso, he dipped down to kiss your thighs the same way his hands caressed your legs. His kisses stopped just before your opening and he blew on it, making you shudder under his hold. With one more look at your face, he dove into you. He worked his skilled tongue inside your walls as you wrote your moans in his pillows, gripping the sheets tightly. The hand on your torso rubbed circles on your stomach adding to the ecstasy you were feeling. You surrendered your body to him, letting him worship you the only way he knew.

His strokes turned haste as you neared your release. You came fast and he devoured your juices like it was the nectar of the gods, leaving no drop go to waste. You were seeing stars, sweat sticking to your skin as the heat became too unbearable. The only light in the room came from the moon and as dim as it was it was blinding you, senses overwhelmed by the man at your feet. He came up to capture your lips, letting you taste yourself the way he tasted you. He wanted you to know how good you were and how much he wanted to savour you.

“Enishi…," you gripped his head and kissed him arduously. "Fuck me," you begged and that was enough to finally get him going.

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” With a swift kiss he slid inside you, length stretching you out sore.

He pounded into you at the speed of light. You closed your eyes to get rid of the stars you were seeing, but he made you to look at him. He wanted watch as he broke you apart and put you back together.

“Be a good girl. You can take it.”

His praises made your body quiver as he annihilated your insides. He was a god in bed, toned body shining in the moonlight as he took you to heaven. But he was also a devil, his thrusts branding his name inside of you like a mark. The more he delved in the better the pleasure he gave you. He knew exactly how to make you feel just right and you felt a surge of energy taking over as you flipped your bodies.

"My turn," you said, wanting to make him beg for you like you begged for him. Calloused hands worked their way up your sides as you took his lips once more, sitting on top of his lap. Your hands were messing around in his hair, grabbing at it every time he bit your lip.

You chased the dips in his neck with sloppy kisses, hands digging into your sides. Your hands massaged and pulled at his hair, moans rolling off his tongues like music. Your touch felt divine, awakening his cold body like the first sunlight of spring. He wanted you to be the queen of his hell, to fall in and out of grace together.

"I need you," he grunted. He got so turned on by this savage part of you and he didn't want to admit it, but it made him so weak. He craved all of you, even if he had to swim in your ocean endlessly just to find every piece of you.

"Your wish is my command," you said, sinking down on him with a grunt, feeling him stretch you out again. Once you felt comfortable you started rolling your hips, a string of curses leaving his mouth.

You were taking your sweet time and he felt you going agonizingly slow. His hands gripped your hips to move you faster and faster until your rhythm grew frantic, leaning to support yourself by his shoulders. Your head was spinning as you felt yourself come close to your release for the second time tonight.

"Enishi," you whispered breathlessly.

"What do you need?" he asked, fingers grazing your ear softly.

"You," you say seizing his lips. Your pace picked up as your moans combined in each other's mouth. He was twitching inside you, sign he was close too.

He would do anything if he could have you on top like this all the time. He would let his pride go to shit if he could feel you like this again. To see your hair stick to your face, locks tangled over your shoulders. To have your hands grip him like he was your lifeline. To see your eyes lost in the abyss that is him as you come undone together, bodies intertwined drunk on a high, on top of his bed.

—————————————————————————

Warmth. That's what you were feeling right now. Muscular arms held you securely, gaze focused solely on you. One of his hands was stroked your hair in a gentle rhythm, head laid on his shoulder as you stared at the ceiling. A piece of your hair fell over your face and his hand moved to place it behind your ear, his husky voice breaking the comfortable silence.

"Why are your ears so small?" he asked poking fun at you, only to get kicked in the shins by your leg. "Okay, I deserved that."

You turned around and his eyes caught a glimpse of something behind your ear. A tattoo. His fingers smoothed over the skin, making out the word yume. And there he thought you couldn't surprise him more than you already did tonight. He reached for your hair to move it out of the way to get a better view at the inkwork. His eyes turned curious as he ran his hand over the mark.

"Yume," he whispers, just enough for you to sense the question on his tongue.

"It means dream. I got it done before I left Japan," you sighed.

"Why yume?"

"I didn't have any dreams for myself. I still don't. All I wanted was to find my parents and that felt like a good enough dream at the time," you said, eyes slightly tearing up at the memory of your parents.

"But as I got older it became something that drove me. I suddenly wanted to find a dream for myself just so I can give this life meaning."

Silence hung in the air again as he mulled over the information. He wanted to know more about what happened to your parents but this definitely wasn't the time to ask. You were too vulnerable right now and he didn't want to pry into your head more than you did it to yourself.

You got up from the bed, his shirt sitting snugly around you. Stretching your sore body, you headed towards his bathroom. You noticed that blue was a recurring aesthetic in the place. The finish on the sink was just like yours, the only difference being that it was dressed in dark motives. He bathroom had a shower in the corner, surrounded by black granite tiles and a glass wall.

"Any other tattoos I should know about?" You turned around to him. He had his arms behind his head, biceps flexing the more he leaned back. The duvet covered his lower part, chest fully exposed to you. You bit your lip as you looked at him.

"If you join me for a shower I might just tell you," you giggled, leaning against the frame of the bathroom door.

"You can say that again," he said as he got up from his bed and ran to you, picking you up in his arms.

"PUT ME DOWN YOU'RE SWEATY!"

"SO ARE YOU BUT YOU DONT HEAR ME YELLING ABOUT IT."

"You're so annoying," you said, linking your arms around his neck so you wouldn't fall.

"That's not what you were moaning a few hours ago, babe," he said walking towards the shower with you in his arms.

"Eww, don't call me babe."

"Sure... babe," he smirked.

"Oh, dear lord."

—————————————————————————

Next

Thank you for reading! As always, comments, notes and reblogs are welcome :)

[crisalidaseason]

This is very self indulgent because I was very sick and nobody cared for me so now I'm projecting my perfect scenario on Armin Arlert.

Thermometer

Summary: You came down with a fever and boyfriend!Armin takes care of you. Tags: very self indulgent, angsty, family issues, Armin being a sweet and good boyfriend, fluff. Also, I measure temperatures in celsius so have that in mind when you read it (37ºC equals 98ºF, 39ºC equals 102ºF according to google), also probably errors because I wrote this post-fever.

Getting sick was not often for you, and fevers were even more rare. The thing is, when you had a fever you couldn't even move. You would lay down in bed and wait for the sickness to get slightly better so you could actually take some medicine. This was a habit you picked up from living in your family home. Nobody would check on you during sick times, not even fetch a thermometer or medicine. Sometimes you genuinely thought you could die and nobody would notice.

You've been living with your boyfriend, Armin, for a few months now. He was the sweetest boy on earth, always so ready to aid you whenever was needed. You still had a hard time getting used to somebody caring for you so much, but nothing prepared you for the first time you got severely sick while living with him.

It was a Saturday evening, you arrived home from work exhausted. You had a splitting headache all day and your body was starting to shiver.

"Shit, not a fever. Everything but a fever!" You whispered.

Fevers were the worst. You could handle a stuffy nose, allergies and sore throats just fine, but fevers were the only symptom that incapacitated you entirely.

You quickly took some cold medicine and showered, before the fever got you good, going to bed immediately. Soon enough you could feel your body shivering more violently and the awful cold spread through your body. You were lucky to catch the fever early enough to even take medicine, maybe this time wouldn't be so bad.

You didn't hear the door open, signaling Armin's arrival, but you heard his voice calling your name. You didn't have the strength to say anything, unfortunately.

"hey, love, everything okay?" His voice was low.

You felt his touch on your forehead and he quickly retreated his hand.

"you're burning!"

You could hear him shuffling through the room, opening a drawer. He approached you and softly grabbed your arm, putting a cold thing on your armpit. You cried a little because of the sensation.

"sorry love, it's just the thermometer"

Once the device beeped, Armin cursed under his breath reading the temperature.

"did you take any medicine?"

You just nodded.

"Alright, I'll be right back"

He kissed your temple and left. You didn't know what he was going to do, but a small part of your brain hoped he was going to care for you.

Moments later, Armin came back. You couldn't keep your eyes open, but could hear him squeeze water out of a towel, which he placed on your forehead. The towel was ice cold and you let out a cry again.

"I know it feels awful, baby, but I need to drop your temperature"

He put another small towel under your neck. Armin stayed by your side, damping the towels every few minutes to keep the cooling sensation and checking your temperature. You were not sure when sleep came, but it was already very bright when you woke up. You noticed your body wasn't shivering and tried moving to a sitting position. The bedroom door opened, revealing Armin.

"Oh, you're awake" Armin said.

He left a mug of steaming tea on the bedside table and quickly took the thermometer to measure your temperature again.

"37º" he said with a tone of relief once the device beeped "I was a little concerned when you wouldn't leave the 39's. Our ice stock is down to zero, but it was totally worth it"

You weren't dreaming then, Armin did spent the night dropping your temperature. You could feel the tears forming on your eyes, too quickly to stop them.

"Hey hey" Armin said "what is it? are you in pain?"

He got closer, trying to figure out what was happening. You just shook your head no and embraced him tightly. He hugged you back, kissing your temple and rubbing your back.

"It's okay, love. Whatever it is you can tell me"

"Not now, just hug me" you said, voice all weird due to your sore throat.

He shifted your position to cuddle you more comfortably. After long minutes of just embracing one another, Armin reached for the mug and the small capsule of fever medicine, offering both to you.

"Ginger, lemon and honey" he said "granpa used to heal every illness with this, I might be biased but it used to work wonders"

You had to battle even more tears, he made you tea!

"Thank you" you said, taking a sip and immediatly making a face.

"I know, it doesn't really taste good, sorry love" he said "but I promise it will help"

You took another sip, the ginger was strong, but you trusted Armin with your life, he was caring for you after all.

"No medicine tastes good" you commented.

Armin chuckled. You finished the tea, already feeling the exhaustion creep on you.

"Tired?" he asked.

You nodded. He took the mug from your hands and motioned for you to lay down in bed, covering you with the sheets.

"Try to sleep a little more, I'll be here when you wake up"

You grab him before he can stand up.

"Stay with me, please"

He smiles and leaves the empty mug on the bedside table. Soon he lays in bed, holding you close. You relax into his arms and silently thank the universe for sending such a caring partner.

[thevegandarkelf]

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Seventeen

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, discussion of excessive drinking to numb painful emotions, PTSD flashbacks, panic attack, mention of scars

Word count: 2.8k

Sleep eventually came that night, and I felt hellish when I woke up in the morning. "Hellish" was putting it lightly. My head was pounding, my eyes burned, and my entire body was sore, aching like when you have the flu. My chest was heavy, and it felt like it was taking a lot of energy to simply breathe. I don't think I'd ever felt so drained before.

It took a few moments of being awake for me to remember what had happened during the night. I blinked rapidly and looked at the other side of the bed. I remembered Daryl had to be out early for a day of hunting, so I wasn't too hurt when I saw it was empty. Still, I wished he had stayed just long enough for me to wake up.

This day was unusual for me in that I didn't have anything planned, at least not until the evening. There was going to be a community dinner. Everyone was supposed to make something, and we would eat out in the grass by the garden and drink late into the night. I likely wouldn't see Daryl until then, unless he got back early from hunting. I already couldn't wait for him to get back so I could wrap my arms around him and thank him for everything.

My day was going to consist of taking care of myself as best I could after last night and making food for the dinner, maybe seeing if anyone wanted help with theirs. I started by pulling myself out of bed. At first, I just slid out onto the floor. But I got myself out of bed, and that was a start. I didn't quite have the energy to stand, so I crawled over to my dresser and pulled out my clothes. I had decided a few days ago that today was finally going to be the day that I wore that dress Daryl got me weeks ago, back when we hardly knew each other. Not only was I excited to wear it, but I was excited for him to see me in it.

I sat on the floor for a while, letting my body reserve as much energy as it could so I could get myself down to the kitchen. Having not eaten since lunch the day before certainly wasn't helping my situation. After a few minutes, I pulled myself up, steadying myself on the dresser. I looked in the mirror. My eyes were still a bit red, and my lids were swollen, but they weren't too bad. My face felt puffy, and my hair was a mess of bedhead. I would've taken a shower first if my hunger wasn't demanding I make my way to the kitchen.

Daryl had left a container of food for me in the fridge. On the lid was a sticky note with my name on it. Judging by what he wrote, he would've had to leave it this morning before he went out on his hunt.

Vec

Hope you're feeling better

See you tonight

I put the note on the counter so I would remember to put it in my notebook with the other one. Eating helped me to feel a little better, but I still mostly felt like a pile of garbage. The note also put a little smile on my face. After I ate, I lugged myself into the shower in the hopes that that would help me feel less like garbage.

Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect.

As I washed myself off in the shower, stills from my nightmare flashed through my mind. It was like my brain was flipping through photos of the incident to taunt me. It made me feel an otherworldly level of gross, disgusting, like the only thing that could cleanse me of the feeling would be to skin myself. I could hardly stand to touch my own skin, to look at my own body, and I ended up curling up into a ball on the floor of the tub and sobbing some more. I wasn't sure how much more of this my poor eyeballs could take.

I don't know how long I spent like that, curled up in a pathetic little ball in the tub, but it was long enough to ride out a panic attack that felt like it lasted for days.

Once the panic attack had mostly subsided, I did my best to finish washing myself off before standing back up. I continued to take deep breaths as I turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing my fresh towel and tossing it around me like a blanket. I couldn't even look at my hands for fear that seeing my scars would send me into another spiral.

One thing was for sure—I was going to be numbing these feelings with alcohol.

I had never blacked out before, as I was a lightweight and didn't even like getting to the point that I was dizzy. I didn't know what I was going to be like, or what to expect, but I didn't care. I couldn't handle these feelings anymore. They'd been creeping up on me more and more the last few weeks, and last night was the catalyst for my impending drunken state. I could only hope I wouldn't make a total fool of myself and ruin things with Daryl.

I sat on my bed, trying to focus on my breathing and calm my nervous system down. I had talked patients down from panic attacks before, but talking yourself down from one was different. After some time, I was breathing normally again, and my heart rate had returned to a steady beat. I dried myself off and got dressed, and the sight of me in the stunning dress Daryl picked for me made me smile.

I did a small twirl in the mirror. The dress fit perfectly. The hem sat right around my ankles, and the slit came up to my mid-thigh on my right leg. It was nice and flowy around my lower body and hugged my waist and chest just right. It was like it was crafted just for me. I couldn't wait for Daryl to see.

I didn't need to start preparing food until later, so I thought I would go see if anyone needed help with preparing theirs or needed help with anything else. I grabbed my bag, put my boots on, and headed outside. It was a gorgeous day, nice and sunny and perfect for the evening's activities. People were bustling around, busy completing their daily tasks so they could relax when dinnertime came around. It was wonderful to see people getting excited about something and coming together so that we all could have a normal, non-apocalyptic experience.

I started off at Glenn and Maggie's. I hadn't spent time with Maggie in a while, and truly, I was less concerned about seeing if she needed help and more so just wanted to hang out. Maggie had become like a sister to me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with Daryl. But I also was in desperate need of some girl time.

"Hey. I just wanted to see if y'all needed help with anything for tonight. And I missed you," I said.

"Yeah, long time no see," she said. She stepped out onto the porch and gave me a hug, acknowledging my dress as she pulled away. “Whoa, where'd you pull that out from?" She opened the door and ushered me inside.

"Oh, it was a gift," I explained. She had an inquisitive look on her face.

"From...?" Maggie asked. I looked down at the floor and smiled. Her quick response let me know that I didn't need to explain. She knew. "No, really? That's so sweet!"

"Yeah. He said he thought of me when he saw it and thought I would like it. It's my first time wearing it." I looked back up at Maggie, whose jaw was nearly on the floor. “He tried to tell me that he just got lucky and didn't remember that my favorite color is blue, but I'm pretty sure he remembered."

"Oh he never forgot," she gushed, starting to walk away towards another room, "hold on, I have just the thing to add to your look." She returned a minute later with a curling iron in her hand. "Look what I found the other day. Can I do your hair?" She sounded so excited at the idea, I had a hard time saying no.

"Sure," I said, following her off to the bathroom, "why not? I have a lot of hair though, I hope you got time."

"Glenn can make the food for tonight. We got all the time we need."

We spent hours in that tiny bathroom, chatting and laughing and giggling like old friends. It felt like getting ready with a girlfriend to go out to the club on a weekend. It was times like this that made things seem normal, even if it was just for a few hours. We only took a break at one point for lunch, and Maggie explained to Glenn that he would be cooking for tonight's event. He was less than pleased.

"Are you gonna dress cute tonight?" I asked Maggie as she was moving on to the last chunks of my hair.

"I may have found something nice to wear," she said, a little smirk on her face and laughter in her voice.

"Oooh, you'll have to show me when we're done. We gotta make sure Rosita and Michonne do too. Ah I'm so excited!" I gushed.

After she finished the last piece of my hair, I stood up and looked in the bathroom mirror. It was somewhere between soft waves and tight ringlet curls, and despite being curled, it still reached down past my chest. Having my hair done was just the confidence boost I needed.

"Maggie, you killed it," I said. I twirled around and gave her another hug.

"You look great. Daryl's gonna have a hard time taking his eyes off you," she said. I caught myself turning red in the mirror, and her chuckling at me indicated that she had caught it too.

"Well, he can look as much as he wants," I gushed.

"Will he get to do more than just look?"

"Maggie!" I gave her shoulder a gentle shove, and I could feel the red on my face becoming brighter. She only laughed more.

"C'mon, let me show you what I picked out," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the bathroom to go upstairs.

Once I left Maggie's, I went over to see Rosita and then Michonne. I wasn't able to find Rosita, but I did tell Michonne about what Maggie and I planned, and it didn't take much convincing to get her to join us. She showed me a cute little cream-colored dress that she had but hadn't worn before, and I gushed over how pretty she would look in it. It felt good to be able to hype up my fellow women.

I took a little stroll around the community before going home to make food for the eventful evening to come. After I finished making the food, I hand-washed some pots and pans. I had squatted down on the floor to put something away in a lower cabinet when I heard the front door open. I figured it had to be Daryl. The butterflies in my stomach awakened. I was both excited and extremely nervous for him to see me all dolled up.

"Hey, there's my bonafide badass," I said as I popped my head up over the island in the kitchen. His chocolate hair hung in front of his face, obstructing his eyes from my view, but I could feel that they were on me. He had taken off his bow and his jacket, both of which had been tossed on the floor, and he had started walking in my direction. “How did the hunt go?"

"Real well. Probably the best in—wow." He cut off his sentence as I got up and walked around the other side of the island. My heart was pounding. "Ya wearin' it."

"Yeah. I, uh, finally found an occasion to wear it," I said, taking a few steps closer to him and giving him a couple of little twirls. “What do you think?"

He didn't say anything at first, just eyed me up and down, which I didn't mind. Like I told Maggie, he could look as much as he wanted. He stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me, giving me the tightest and most gentle hug I could imagine. I wrapped my arms around his neck in return. He was a little sweaty and dirty from being out in the sun all day, but I didn't care. My knees felt weak, and I practically melted into him as he pulled me closer.

"Ya look real nice." His sweet Southern accent right in my ear sent shivers down my spine. "Dress fits perfect."

"Thank you. The hair is courtesy of Maggie. It took hours."

"She did great," Daryl said. We spent another few moments like that before Daryl released me from the hug. But he still kept me close, running his hands up and down from my shoulders to my elbows. His work-worn hands caressing my bare skin felt immaculate. “How ya feelin' after last night?" I kept my gaze on his chest. I was finding it difficult to look him in the eye when I thought about what happened the night before. I was still feeling ashamed.

"Alright. I had some...moments throughout the day, but I'm ok." I could feel him looking down at me. He only had three, maybe four inches on me at most, but he still had to peer down to look at me, especially when we were this close. I twiddled my thumbs together anxiously. "I'm sorry about what happened. I feel bad for keeping you up, and I feel like such a baby for how I acted."

"Don't apologize. Nothin' ya did wrong. Just glad you're ok," Daryl said. His voice was always so silky soft when he talked to me, and it made me melt even more. "Wanted to stay with ya 'til ya got up, but I had to leave early. Sorry 'bout that." I leaned my head forward and rested my forehead on his chest. Being this close to him, wrapped up in his arms like this...it was my own personal heaven.

"That's ok, it's not your fault. Thank you for everything you did for me. I—" I cut myself off before using the word I considered. I lifted my head to look at him, our eyes locking immediately. Those stunning blue irises made me weak. "I appreciate you. A lot."

"Anytime sunshine," he reassured, and I gave him a big grin in return.

"I should get the food outside. Wanna come with me?"

"Ya go on. I'll be out soon," he said. I skipped over into the kitchen and grabbed the slow cooker, and Daryl went upstairs. I propped the appliance up on my leg and let myself outside.

Someone had taken one of the infirmary tables and set it up in the grass, and plenty of people had already brought their dishes out and were gathering together. There was also a separate table set up for alcohol. I went over and sat the slow cooker down on the infirmary table, and I could see Rosita bouncing over towards me.

"Dude, you look hot," she exclaimed, giving me a hug as she approached me, "your hair looks amazing. How long did that take?"

"Thank you. Maggie did it. It took literal hours," I said, "and so do you. You look so cute. I wish we had a way to take pictures."

"Thanks. She caught me earlier and told me you all planned to dress up, told me I should join in."

"Oh good. I tried to find you earlier to tell you, but I couldn't," I explained. I tapped my foot on the ground and crossed my arms over my chest. "Rosita, I need you to do me a huge favor. I'm looking to get drunk tonight. Like really drunk. If you think I might start saying something about Daryl, something that he or anyone else shouldn't hear, I need you to punch me in the stomach as hard as you can." Her expression changed to a confused one. "I mean that. Don't hold back. Knock some sense into me."

"Vector, I'm not gonna punch you. But I will stop you from saying something you'd regret. How much do you plan on drinking?"

"You don't wanna know."

Taglist: @raddydaddydude

[rainbowcarousels]

Sleeping Arrangements

This is just a quick thing I wrote in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. Happy Valentines! (Lestat/Armand/Louis/Daniel)

It’s an adjustment to add another person into their routine, such as it is. 

They’re not always under the same roof – sometimes one of them is off attending business or at court, sometimes they just need breathing space and a chance to collect their own thoughts. Sometimes they just don’t feel like sharing a bed at all, needing some space to themselves and coming back when they’re ready to. Sometimes two people want to fuck in an involved or vigorous way and the others want to read or watch a movie. 

When it had just been Daniel moving back in, it hadn’t been uncommon for all three to spend most of their days together in the same bed. That became the routine; Armand adjusted his bedtime to earlier so he could lay with both lovers after they fell asleep. Daniel remained sluggish early and sometimes Armand would pick him up to put him into bed to find Louis already in it, reading or listening to something. Then he’d just pull Daniel into his bedtime clothing, brush his hair and tuck him in with them both. If Armand had to go and get Louis to put him to bed as he’d slumped reading at the desk, he happily put him to bed too. 

More than once, it had been mortal sleep and Louis had startled upon being picked up and caused them both to wobble and laugh.

At first, Armand lingered in bed before they awoke as well. There was something reassuring about it, to feel Daniel’s chest rise and fall against him, to feel Louis’ fuzzy consciousness slip back into being from his rest. As time went on, if he had other things to do, he’d get up and come back to find them chatting in bed together or just getting changed. It started to happen at night too, that they’d still curl up together even if Armand hadn’t made it back. A layer of familiarity settled between them. When he’d find them like that, Armand would squeeze himself between them, gathering them too close to him but also not close enough. Sometimes, he’d just like to look at them until sleep came. His little lovers, happy together.

As soon as they’d begun to settle into having Daniel there, Lestat had barged his way into their home and their bed. Sometimes he stayed only for a few hours, other times he’d stay for a few weeks. There was no rhyme or reason to it, as if Lestat had ever had a rhyme or reason for anything. 

“This is a home, is it not?” Lestat had just settled himself in and Armand climbed onto him so he could use him as an oversized pillow, but still pull Daniel or Louis close if he wanted. 

“Don’t you have a home to go to?” Daniel had grumbled, getting a faceful of Lestat’s hair when he decided he wanted to be in the middle.

It wouldn’t be as much of a disturbance if Lestat’s bedtime routine wasn’t so damned involved. There were very specific pyjamas, he liked to brush his hair out and put it up and out of the way, he liked to do his nails so he didn’t have to when he woke up and he used scented sprays on the pillows much to Louis’ eye-rolling. 

“It’s good for insomnia,” Lestat insisted, as if he hadn’t seen the way Louis hoarded Bath & Body Works candles like an obsession.

“You’re a vampire,” Louis replied. “You don’t get insomnia! The sun puts you to sleep.”

“Smells like the lotion we used at that place with the giant tub in the Philippines,” Daniel decided, pulling Armand up until his head was under his chin. Possessive tonight, in his own way.

“There’s a place a giant bath in the Philippines?” Lestat had asked, sinking into the other side with more pillows added. His face changed suddenly, his skin flushing as he shot Armand a sharp look. “I didn’t ask for you to drop that into my mind like a erotic stereoscope! Why is your mind always preoccupied with fleshly pleasures?”

“Why do you go into my mind seeking it out?” Armand had replied, utterly unrepentant. 

It was no different at the court. 

While Armand had dedicated himself to designing his own living space, he rarely seemed to stay in it. It was more common for him to stay in either Daniel’s rooms which remained or in with Louis and Lestat, eventually getting annoyed by the separation and pulling Daniel in with them. It led to Marius giving Lestat the most bizarre look when Daniel slipped out of his rooms for a cigarette in the early hours of the morning with tell tale bites fading on his skin.

“This is going to get confusing if you’re going to start taking multiple consorts,” Marius had whispered to him the following night, once the ‘official’ business had been seen to.

“I only have one consort,” Lestat told him plainly. “Armand isn’t a consort, he’s really more of a mistress.”

“And Daniel?” Marius asked.

“Mistresses’ consort,” Lestat smiled. “Or whatever it is Armand wants to call him. I’m not saying I’m opposed to the idea of trying him, I have often wondered if he’d taste like Armand – or if indeed Louis tastes like me! I should ask Armand, he would know, he’d make a note of something like that.”

Marius had wisely just left it there.

It took about a year for Lestat to settle himself into just climbing into bed. He still didn’t enjoy going to bed early, but when the sun rose, he’d spend an hour with Armand to himself while their fledglings slept on. Sometimes they’d excuse themselves to the bathtub and leave it stained red, scratched to hell and on more than one occasion, with several tiles cracked. Other times, they just talked quietly to one another.

“Do you like it,” Armand had asked him, his eyes cast low with a sweet submission, “Our arrangement?”

“Is that what it is?” Lestat murmured, sliding his fingers down Armand’s face and pushing his chin up so he could look at those eyes. “An arrangement?”

“What would you call it?” Armand’s eyes seemed to dart around unsure of where to look, struck naked by being forced into confronting what he was asking.

There was really only one answer for that. “My darling, I think it might be love.”

[braveclementine]

Chapter 4

Warnings: None, Readers under 18 can read this book. It is solely fluff- nothing sexual

Copyright: I do not own any Wizarding World characters that J.K. Rowling wrote. I do however own Elizabeth Kane (main character) and Trang Nyguen (best friend). There should be no use of these two names without my permission. I also do not condone any copying of this.

.❤️.

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖞𝖘 𝖕𝖆𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖉 steadily until September 1 came. I woke up extremely early, even earlier than Dad. Full moon had been two weeks prior so he was able to come to the station with me today. I bounced down the stairs to make myself tea, bacon, and eggs.

Dad came downstairs an hour later, going to the kitchen to reheat cold eggs and bacon. I had already dragged my heavy trunk down the stairs and set it up by the door. I hadn't put Sadie in her cage yet though. I wasn't going to put her back in until the last second. I didn't like the idea of animals being in cages (which was ironic because I loved the zoo. Of course, one could argue that those 'cages' were much bigger and would be more accurately classified as 'habitats'). She had just come in from a night of hunting and was sleeping in my room.

Dad smiled at me before rubbing his eyes and sitting down, putting his plate of reheated food in front of him. "So, today's the big day, huh?"

I nodded, to nervous to say much. I kept rushing up and down the stairs, making sure I hadn't forgotten something or adding something to the trunk.

At 10:00, we left the house. Dad had called a Wizarding taxi and so that's what we arrived at the station in. Dad and the taxi driver talked the entire time about wizarding politics while I stared out the windows, watching as we jumped lanes. We got to the station at 10: 30, leaving us with plenty of time before the train left.

Dad led me to where the border was for the Hogwarts express. I eyed the brick wall shrewdly. Then, looking around, I walked into it, closing my eyes. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a cleaner station- it looked almost brand new. There was a bright red train on the tracks, waiting for students to hop on before it took off.

There were some other early birds but I didn't feel like getting on the train quite yet. I let the conductors take my luggage and Sadie, and I stood by my dad while we waited for it to get near the time the train was supposed to leave.

I started getting even more nervous, looking around to see if I would recognize my own brother. Lupin seemed to sympathize with my anxiety. He turned me around so I couldn't see anyone and got on one knee to talk to me. He pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back fiercely.

"Don't worry about Harry, Elizabeth." He whispered in my ear, stilling hugging me. I rested my chin on his shoulder. "Even if you don't see him now or on the train, you'll see him at the sorting ceremony. You'll have plenty of time to get to know each other. You don't have to worry about anything."

"Except grades." I said matter of factly. "Oh and what house I'm going to be sorted into because I'm afraid I won't get into Gryffindor." It was a feeling and as I've said before- my feelings are pretty good.

"Elizabeth, just because you're not in Gryffindor won't mean that you're not my daughter, or that you're not James and Lily's daughter. You'd do wonderfully in Ravenclaw, you're so smart, or Hufflepuff because you're so kind. Heck, Lizzy, even Slytherin-"

"I won't be in Slytherin." I said fiercely. "I'll leave first."

Lupin smiled gently, pulling back, but keeping his hands on my shoulders. "I don't care what house you're in is all I'm saying, okay?"

I nodded, the apprehension and nerves still tingling in my stomach. "I love you dad."

"I love you too sweetheart. Now get on the train so it won't leave without you." Lupin squeezed me tightly again. "Oh, you're growing up so quickly." He almost seemed to fret with the last sentence.

I smiled and grabbed the train handle to climb onto the train. Then there was a flash through my mind, like I was seeing something that wasn't there. A flaming red stone on a stair made of stone. I let go of the handle and took a step back from the train, frowning and slightly apprehensive.

"Elizabeth?" I heard my dad's voice. He sounded a bit worried, "You okay?"

I turned to see him. "Um, yeah, everything's fine." I frowned and turned back to the train and grabbed the handle. Nothing happened. I climbed onto the train, turned and waved to dad, and then hurried through the train to find an empty compartment.

I found an empty one and I went inside and sat down, still frowning. What was that random red stone? It had been glistening like it was on fire.

I pushed it out of my mind fairly quickly however, and pulled out one of my Muggle books. It was a bunch of fairy tales written by the Brothers Grimm.

There was a knock on the compartment door some time later, and I looked up. There was a young girl standing outside it, probably my age. She had bushy brown hair and brown eyes. I eyed her warily.

"May I come in?" She asked in a very posh accent.

"Sure," I said, excited to make my very first friend. If, she was friendly, that is.

She sat down on the seat opposite me. She seemed very nervous as well. She was also already wearing her school robes. I wondered which Hogwarts house symbol would be sewed onto her robes tomorrow morning.

"I don't want to be rude," I asked hesitantly. "Are you a muggle?"

She nodded, "Yes. I was quite excited when I found out about Hogwarts. You must be a pure-blood then?"

"No, half-blood. My dad was a wizard and my mum was a muggle born witch." I said. "But I lived with my adopted dad because they both passed away. My dad's also a Wizard." I didn't mention that he was a werewolf. Werewolves had even more biased hate in the Muggle world.

"I'm Hermione Granger." She said, sticking out a hand.

"Elizabeth Kane," I said, smiling and shaking it. "Welcome to the Wizarding world."

She was the type of girl who, when nervous, started talking as fast as possible. But that was alright, I talked quite fast too- though not when I was nervous. Our conversations were about books, both magical and muggle. She too liked to read and had been top of her class at her Muggle school. We were a perfect match.

"Even if we're not in the same house, we can be study buddies." I said sometime throughout the conversation. Things were going perfectly, just the way that I'd wanted them to go. This was probably my very first friend! "What house do you hope to be in?"

"Either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw." Hermione said rather quickly. I soon realized that Hermione wasn't a girl who talked fast only when she was nervous. She just talked fast- period. She was probably the first person I knew to talk at such a speed. Trang talked much slower because Vietnamese was her first language. Dad didn't talk fast either, perhaps because he didn't feel the need to rush all of his words out. But Hermione and I got our ideas out faster because we talked faster. And the plus was that we completely understood what the other was talking about. "Gryffindor sounds to be the best and of course, Dumbledore himself was in Gryffindor. But Ravenclaw could be a better fit for me, I'm not sure."

I nodded. "Both my dad's and my mum were in Gryffindor, but that doesn't mean anything of course. A family friend of mine, his name was Sirius, he was in Gryffindor even though his entire family was in Slytherin. I could easily end up in another house."

We laughed and talked some more until the compartment door opened again. This time, there was a very large and rather round boy there. He looked rather down. Hermione and I looked up at him.

"Have either of you seen a toad?" He asked gloomily. "I've lost him. His name is Trevor."

"Er- no." I said, exchanging a quick look with Hermione.

"What's your name?" Hermione asked, sounding excited again. I wondered if she'd had many friends outside of Hogwarts. I hadn't. It had been Trang, Kat, and Charis and really, mostly Trang because Kat moved to Germany and Charis was younger than me by a few years.

"Neville. Neville Longbottom." He said. "Well, I guess I should go and look for him in another compartment."

Hermione jumped up. "I'll help you look, that way, we can cover more area together."

I hesitated, the trolley-witch was coming through. "I'll join you guys in a moment, alright? I'm going to buy some food for us first."

Hermione waved, rather excitedly for someone who was going out to find a toad, and followed Neville out.

I bought licorice wands, Sugar Quills, chocolate frogs, and two flasks of pumpkin juice. I left them under my robes and then headed out to go and see if there was a toad in any compartments. 'A toad. Who in their right mind brings a bloody toad to Hogwarts', I thought as I walked down the hallway.

The first compartment I came to had two red head boys in it and an African American boy. The red heads looked like they might be twins.

I knocked lightly on the door. The red headed boys looked up and I saw that they were twins. The African American boy slammed the lid down on his cardboard box. I opened the door a couple of inches.

"Umm, have you seen a toad? A boy name Neville's lost one." I said shyly, looking down at the ground. I had forgotten my glasses but could still make out the lettering on the boy's box. Some sort of Muggle shoe box.

"Nah." One of the twins said. "What's your name? You're one of the first years, right?"

"Yeah, I'm Elizabeth Kane." I said, barely able to meet their curious gaze. "And you?"

"This is George," the second twin said. "And I'm Fred Weasley. That there is our friend Lee Jordan."

"Nice to meet all of you. I suppose I should continue helping Neville look for his toad." I said, blushing as I looked at Fred's face. What a cute guy. I wondered how much older he was then me and then blushed even darker. I hurried away from the compartment and went back to my own. Hermione wasn't back yet.

I closed the shutters for a couple of seconds while I put on my robes and then opened the shutters again.

A couple minutes later, Hermione came back, breathless. "Guess what!" she gushed, as I handed her some pumpkin juice. My mouth was full of chocolate frog so I just shrugged, reaching for my own Pumpkin juice.

"I just met Harry Potter!" She exclaimed.

I choked on my frog. Gasping for breath, I chugged the pumpkin juice, and when my air way was empty I sputtered, "No way! Really?"

"Yes. He has the scar and all. He also had horrible glasses. They were all patched up with tape. I repaired them for him." She said, pleased. "I'm just glad the spell went well."

"You did a charm already?" I asked, surprised and momentarily distracted. I could do multiple charms already-I'd been practicing out of my Charm textbook- but dad had warned me not do any magic outside of Hogwarts. So I didn't do magic. Not when he was around anyways. My self control was very limited.

"Well it was relatively easy." She said, slightly bragging. "and I've been practicing some at home. Can you do magic yet?"

"Yes." I said immediately, not wanting to be shown up by anyone, not even someone that I could possibly consider a friend. I had a rather competitive gene whether in sports or learning and it was this gene that resulted in me having few friends. Apparently I was a know-it-all. Oh well, at least I was going to become something when I grew up. "But dad told me not to do magic outside of Hogwarts. There are wizarding laws and since I'm eleven, I have the trace."

"Oh." Hermione said in surprise. She talked a bit more about Harry while I chewed on a licorice wand. He sounded like a nice boy. He had green eyes she said. 'Green eyes like mum.' I thought. He had glasses. 'Like me' I thought. 'And Dad'. I also wondered if his were for reading only or if he needed them for sight. There was so much I wanted to know. I would be able to ask him soon, I supposed.

The train started to slow down and I got up and stretched. I only had one chocolate frog left and I gave it to Hermione so that she could start a collection. I had a huge collection, about 538 cards at home. That was excluding my duplicates which probably put my collection around 1,254.

"Come on!" Hermione squealed, running down the hallway to exit the train. She was really much more excited than I was. Ridiculous really, but perhaps I was more nervous rather than excited.

"Wait up!" I called out, but others were coming out of their compartments and I fell behind. I shuffled behind the others. Outside the train, I looked around for Hermione. I heard a loud voice saying "Firs' Years! Firs' years over here!"

I followed the voice to a very large looking man. He was much taller than most everyone here, and wider too. Perhaps he was part giant. But he looked kind. I could tell by the eyes. He said something to another student and led the way down to the shore where we were to get into boats. I still couldn't find Hermione so I got into a random boat with some other kids.

The boats started across the water. The two girls in the boat introduced themselves as Parvati and Padma Patil. The boy in the boat introduced himself as Ernie Macmillan.

Ernie leaned forward as we started to go under a rock bridge. "Did you guys know that there's a rumor saying that Harry Potter is on the train?"

Parvati and Padma launched into immediate conversation with Ernie, asking all sorts of questions. His account wasn't as accurate as Hermione's. I wondered, if people knew about me, would they be saying, "Did you hear that Harry and Elizabeth Potter are on the train?" Would they be treating me any differently? That was an uncomfortable question and I was suddenly glad that I was only Elizabeth Kane- at least at the moment. Perhaps I would feel differently later.

I was thinking about a lot of 'perhapses'.

Hogwarts came into view as we rounded the bend, but there were quick flashes in my mind so I didn't see the castle right away. I went ridged, trying to place the images.

There was a man in a purple turban. Then, there was a boy with black hair and a scar on his head diving on a broom. Then, a three-headed dog. There was a tall mirror, and then there was the red stone again, glistening and I saw that the stone wasn't on fire, but that it was reflecting the image of a fire burning from across the room.

The visions faded and I was seeing the Hogwarts castle. I looked around. No one seemed to be seeing any visions. I spotted Hermione in a boat with Neville and two boys. One of them was a boy with black hair who looked something like dad. Harry. I felt my stomach turn with excitement and nerves. He looked around, looked at me for a second, and then looked away. There was no recognition in his eyes. My stomach dropped and I felt like I was going to be sick. My own brother didn't know me.

I felt tears well up in my eyes and I looked away from everyone. What had I expected? I knew that he didn't know I existed. No one except my parents and Sirius and Lupin did. Harry maybe had known at one point, and that was taken away from me because of Voldemort.

I wiped the tears away. I was being ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. Harry would know me soon enough and after all, we had been rather young when we'd been separated. I couldn't say that I remembered him. It was only because I had a picture of my parents and him as a baby. Perhaps he didn't have pictures of us.

The boats pulled up to the shore and I climbed out after the others. I heard the gravel crunch under my feet. I'd always liked that sound. The large man that was leading us looked into all the boats and shouted, "Oy, you there! Is this your toad?"

"Trevor!" Neville cried aloud.

I bit my bottom lip, unable to take my eyes away from Harry. He was talking to a boy our age with red-orange hair. That boy looked something like the twins that I'd seen on the train.

Harry kept pushing his glasses up on his nose, a sign that they were too large for him. Suddenly, self-conscious, I took off my glasses and looked away from him.

There was another flash in my brain, this one was different. I saw the man in the purple turban again but this time, it was the back of him and I felt a searing pain go through on my chest, right where my silver locket hung underneath my clothes. I clapped my hand to my chest, but the pain was already gone and I quickly dropped my hand, hopping that no one had noticed the seemingly random movement.

We stopped walking up the flight of stone steps and we crowded around a huge, front door made of oak.

The large man turned, surveying everyone, "Everyone here? You, there still got yer toad?" And then he turned back around and knocked three times on the large castle doors.

⬅️➡️

[thatcrazycrowgirl]

🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹🌹🌹🌹

🌹

🌹

🌹

You also get a bouquet of 🌹:) love you!

*happily takes bouquet*

@havatnah, my friend, thank you so much for sending me this a while back, and I'm sorry I didn't have anything presentable to share sooner. But looking through my documents, I did manage to find something decent from my 1888!Syndicate AU idea. It does feature my OC, Magnolia, buuuut despite that, I thought you'd appreciate some soft older!Jacob spending the morning in bed - so here you go! ;) Hope you enjoy this little WIP snippet! <3

A/N: For some context, this takes place post-JTR DLC, dealing with the repercussions of the events of the Autumn of Terror. (I think I wrote this up after watching a few episodes of "Ripper Street".) Features brief (not major) mentions of scars from wounds and a tiny bit of angst mixed with fluff - a word of warning, just in case?

Magnolia sucked on her bottom lip as she continued to look over the countless letters, photographs, and newspaper clippings with exhausted frustration. She hadn't bothered to rise from bed or even get dressed, as the contents of the papers distracted her not long after she woke up. But fortunately, despite the chill of the morning kissing her bare shoulders, the bed was still warm. Lying on her stomach, she crossed her arms and rested her chin on them with a huff.

"It doesn't make any sense!" she exclaimed in a louder whisper than intended.

"What doesn't…?" Jacob's voice, groggy and rendered even deeper than usual, due to just being roused from sleep, asked softly.

"All of this!" she responded immediately without thinking. It then occurred to her that she was no longer the only one awake, and that her outburst may have pulled her lover from his peaceful sleep. She glanced over at him sheepishly. "Oh. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"Mmm…don't worry about it, love," he mumbled in return, still blinking the sleep from his hooded eyes. "It's probably time I got up, anyway." He attempted to stretch his muscles, and winced a little at the dull ache that still remained in some parts of his recovering body. Then, with as much effort as he could manage, he rolled over onto his belly and half rested himself upon the young woman's bare back. "Did you sleep well?"

She lifted a hand up and cupped his cheek in acknowledgement, her thumb brushing over one of his sideburns. "Yeah, just fine," she replied, throwing a small smile over her shoulder. "You?"

"Mmm-hmm…" he hummed, the tip of his nose dancing over her warm skin. He then grinned just a little. "You just about wore me out last night," he teased.

Sir Jacob Frye, the man who had barely a reason to smile over the last year, was now teasing - no - flirting again. Who'd have thought he still had it in him?

However, his smile faded when he didn't get much of a response back from his lover, and he looked up to see she was once again engrossed in the myriad of papers and pictures sprawled out in front of her.

He sighed.

He knew realistically that despite the Ripper now being deceased, his memory and the effects of his reign of terror over London wasn't going to immediately fade from the public's recollection. But that didn't stop the tiny, idealistic part of him that remained, even after all that had happened, to hope that he could settle back down to some level of normalcy in his life - including enjoying the company of his sweetheart in bed, without anything relating to the outside world bleeding in.

He pressed a gentle kiss upon her shoulder blade.

"Why don't you put those things aside for the moment?" he tried again, his lips still pressing kisses against her skin. "It's too early."

It was then that Magnolia seemed to finally catch onto Jacob's subtly needy tone, and she glanced over her shoulder once more. Seeing his eyes, when he lifted them to meet hers, she couldn't help feeling a little guilty for letting her borderline-obsessive need to piece things together to interrupt what should be a peaceful morning.

Her own eyes flickered with a hint of sympathy. ""Oh, Jacob…I'm sorry." She then gathered everything in front of her and tossed the pile onto the nightstand, not caring when some papers fell to the floor, before turning over onto her back and wrapping her arms around her lover's neck. "Come here…come here."

She gently pulled Jacob down towards her and met his lips sweetly. She heard him sigh contently into the kiss and she smiled a bit against his mouth. Deepening it, a soft moan escaped her. She wanted to him to know that he was still more important to her than her work. He had to know.

Nevertheless, he still pulled back momentarily. He looked a tad uncertain.

"You know, you don't have to do th–"

His words were silenced with another kiss.

"Trust me; obligation is the furthest thing from my mind," she then told him with a hint of a smile, before touching her forehead to his. "Thanks for bringing me back to the here and now."

A soft and relieved look surfaced in Jacob's eyes, and he brushed the tip of his nose against Magnolia's. "Thanks for being with me here and now," he cooed.

He kissed her once more before shifting his body somewhat to lay his head upon her shoulder. His nose now nuzzled against her neck, as she began to run one of her hands through his messy hair. Her other arm wrapped around his shoulders. Under her hand, she could feel the newly-healing scars on his skin and tried to ignore it. Now wasn't the time to be remembering their origins, just as now wasn't the time to be sorting through the pages that bore the name of the monster who inflicted those wounds. Now needed to be a time of quiet, of respite, of love.

She kissed him again.

[loustellaperry]

There's Still Magic in the Morning

I woke up in the early hour of 6 AM to the pitter-pattering of raindrops on my windowsill. Anytime this music plays, I cannot help but smile while I stretch from underneath my bed sheets. The first thought that crossed my mind was, "Get up". I had fallen victim to the habit of sleeping in -- even when I wasn't tired, and I had fallen asleep at a decent hour the night before. I'd sleep in simply because society said it was too early for someone who didn't have school or work that day, to be awake.

I had forgotten how much getting up and drinking my coffee meant to me.

While abroad, I remember the tiniest pit of excitement in the depths of my stomach that would emerge when I would wake up WAY before my alarm, just as the morning light had started to show through the curtains. The excitement remained even on the days I missed home, and even on the days I was sleep-deprived and needed the sleep. There is just something inspiring about starting fresh with each new rotation of Earth.

Today in particular, though, was very exciting.

"If I get up now I can listen to the rain while I drink my coffee", I thought.

So I did.

I couldn't decide between coffee or a bagel, so I got both simultaneously. I don't typically eat breakfast with my coffee. I usually get the coffee first and then eat.

. . .

I'll leave you with this silly lil' poem I wrote, pre-any writing class ever, about how the morning makes me feel . . .

There's Magic in the Morning

There's magic in the morning. It's the bright light at the end of your sleep. When your eyelids are strong and rested, and you counted all the sheep. The strength, to stretch your yesterday away, didn't come from inside the walls. That sort of energy comes from your insides, you see. Now go on, your morning magic calls.

There's magic in your coffee, and a bay leaf in your tea. Stir your intentions clockwise, and watch as you plant your seeds. Rise and shine, my darling! This day will surely bring.. all your wishes granted, before you count to three. Remember the universe hears you, so make all of your secret thoughts worth while. For all you send, comes back to you, three times the first pile.

Your day is off to a great start, I told you, there's magic in your veins. Now, make each step a golden one, and work through all your pains. Practice makes perfect, and if you try again, you'll soon succeed. The stars shine strictly for you, the universe will fill your needs.

Now go pick a wand from that tree, it's branches have been calling you all year. Put all your magic into it, the night of the full moon is growing near.

Now yes, it does sound easy, but that's the tricky misconception, you see. Not very many humans are capable of making a magic wand from a tree. Command your sacred forest, and move the clouds with just your eyes. Your magic will guide you on your journey, through your dream filled skies.

From the crisp leaves of autumn to the baby sprouts of spring, the witches rise each day to see it, and the magic they will bring.

_________________________________

Lucy

[vermakesthings]

Part ??? (Freya)

Very out of order. This is roughly 4 months after Liam and Freya got together, so around one hundred twenty years into the Dark Years.

I needed some comfort today, so I wrote about my fave OCs finding it rather than what I was going to write about (Liam having his first sensory overload as a child).

Masterpost

Night fell, at her command.

Sitting in the sun's sole remaining throne became much more impactful after the war. Before, it was just her home. The throne room was just the control room. Her siblings laughter drifting through the air while she guided the palace through the skies. Or one of her siblings guiding the palace while she was off laughing and chatting or fighting, meeting friends or drinking. It was just home, doubling as the world's light.

Now, after the century of darkness, her siblings limbos and most espessially the darkening of the sun, it was very different. The sun could not be approached from the outside without its light burning your skin and melting your bones. Her siblings no longer resided here, only her and Liam, making it all around eerie and desolate. Not to mention the rubble from the other three thrones in the corner of her eye, a constant reminder of the Fall.

And then there's the way people viewed the sun now. It wasn't just the world's main light, it was life itself; without the sun there is no life, no heat, no growth, nothing. They knew this when the sun was made, of course- it was why they'd made it. But people viewed the sun now with a kind of awe that she couldn't put a word to, like it was something far above themselves.

All of this thought led to her turning off the sun's light at the end of the day and going to find Liam a very gloomy affair. It wasn't what it once was. Everything good here was lost, save Liam.

He was all she had, now.

Running her hand down the hall, tapestries she'd made hung above her head, of her family and friends now almost all dead, didn't help her mood at all as she walked to their room.

How nice it was, at least, to finally be able to say their room. They'd had separate rooms for so long, while Liam still refused to take a clear hint and she refused to ask directly, that it was still exciting to think of sharing a room with him, even a few months after he'd first moved in to hers.

He'd been with her the majority of the day, taking turns on the throne even, but when it was clear he was trying to stay awake just for her she sent him away. He woke up far too early last night from prophetic visions- as usual, at this point- and couldn't fall back to sleep.

Opening the door quietly, glancing at the blanket mound that was Liam, she tiptoed through the room to the closet, undressing as quietly as possible before she started climbing into the bed.

...Liam wasn't on the bed.

Motherfucker.

Keeping track of Liam was just as hard as keeping track of anyone from his lineage should be. Seriously, she had to get with the grandchild of Nrolin and the great grandchild of Larsun? He seemed to inherit the abilities to be completely hidden and lost despite being in a very enclosed and visible space his forbears had. She dreaded to think of Axel, who he claims is somehow even worse than he is.

He shouldn't even be awake right now anyways, but another prophecy probably woke him up. Likely unimportant, or at least not imminently so, since he hadn't come to her to talk about it. Which probably meant, since he'd left their room at all, he was in one of the kitchens.

She was tempted to run through the halls so she could tackle him for being difficult, but after running like that she wouldn't be able to sleep right. So, disappointingly, she had to walk like a reasonable person.

Coming to the nearest kitchen, and the only one they really used anymore, she heard cabinets being opened and a drink being poured.

She opened the door and watched him jump so hard he dropped the wine entirely.

"Fuck, uh-" he cut off when she gave him a look, accompanied by the telepathic message of later. She went over to the towel cabinet and pulled out enough for the spill, while he went over for water to make sure it didn't stick.

Afterwards, he poured the wine again for both of them and they started back to their room.

"Another prophecy?" she asked. Off his nod, she spoke again, "if it's a good one tell me in our room, if it's bad on the throne tomorrow. I need to sleep."

Liam snorted, and asked "Is sitting in a throne for a few hours really so tiring?"

She elbowed his side, and he somehow managed not to spill the glass.

They reached their room again and sat down on the bed, finishing their drinks before he turned to her.

"It's good news, but I can't tell you. Still have no idea what your Limbo will be."

She sighed. She didn't know which would be worse, knowing that her Limbo was coming but not what it was, or knowing what it was and waiting in fear of it. She supposed it depends on what the Limbo is, though.

She drained the last of her glass and laid down, pulling him down with her. She pushed her head into his neck and opened full telepathy with him.

You okay? he asked, pulling their covers up.

I was remembering the past, after you went to bed. What the sun used to be like.

Liam had been born under the darkened sun, so he still focused more on the beauty of the memory of the True Sun, rather than the loss and hopelessness of the darkened sun. His mind felt far away for a moment, but he remembered where he was and said I try to remember that it's still here, when I remember it.

She shook her head into his neck. Not that, I mean. My home, the sun. Nerquam shouting, Aegir scheming, friends flying through.

He made a soft noise, and squeezed her back.

It's easier with you now. I don't dwell on it as much anymore. But in the throne room alone for two hours...

He answered I would have stayed in there.

I know, but you needed sleep too.

I can stay up some for you. It's not easy going to sleep alone anymore, anyways.

Oh, wasn't that true. Last time she had it took several hours of trying to cuddle against something that wasn't there.

Still. I don't want you being tired because I'd be alone.

They laid there completely silent for a bit, both literally and telepathically, before he said When I'm remembering Blonicku, you being there helped me not get lost in the grief. Even when you were asleep.

Her breath hitched, and she felt his fingers playing with her hair, before he asked Is it the same for you?

It took her a bit to think. She wasn't usually awake while he was asleep, not while they were in the same space, at least. Though she'd never gotten too deep into grief while laying with him, whether he was asleep yet or not. It was hard to miss the past and fear for what she had when she could literally feel her love's heartbeat right there.

She shared these thoughts with him as she was thinking them, and before either of them sent back any proper message she realized what he was leading to.

The throne was big enough two could sit in it, so if one of them flew the sun the other could sleep against them.

She could feel Liam smile through the muscles in his jaw.

The darkened sun couldn't heal everyone's minor injuries, bone decay, muscle aches, and such like the True Sun could, but if you were inside it the darkened sun would still heal it. Meaning they might be able to sleep like that quite comfortably, possibly even through the night.

They'd have to try next time Liam woke up early from a vision, so probably tomorrow.

It's not my fault I get prophecies every time I blink. The thought had a hint of grumpiness to it, but mostly playfulness.

She kissed his neck, and sent over I know. Now lets sleep.

They finally fell asleep together, arms around each other with a plan for their next night together.

[yellowsugarwords]

Hi I was wondering if you still wrote for the wolf among us?

I can’t find anyone who does that does platonic/familial pairings.

Anyway if you don’t then please ignore this!

Okay so I was wanting A Bigby wolf x teen! Daughter reader. She’s around 16-18 years old. Bigby is her biological father and has been the only one raising her. Just want some fluff between the two. Maybe some angst since she is a teenager. I think Bigby would give the only room in the apartment to her also since she is a teenager. Anyway I hope this ain’t too much! xxx

wait this is so sweet ahhhhh my heart

Bigby had taken Y/N in not that long ago.

She was on the streets,

Unable to afford glamor,

And he couldn’t help but help her.

Snow and him hunted for weeks,

But were unable to find a home for them.

As time waned, Bigby's fondness for the teen grew.

He couldn't stand her staying overnight in the offices.

So, he made her an offer.

When he offered that she could stay with him, her eyes widened,

Then beamed.

“Really?” She was practically breathless.

Bigby gave a faint smile and nodded.

“Yeah, why not?”

She wanted to hug him, but didn’t.

She worried that was a tad too far.

That evening, Bigby took her home,

Opening his apartment door and carrying their bag inside.

“I’ll show you where your room is.”

He brought her to the single bedroom that was once his own,

Freshly cleaned and organized,

Just for her.

He had been prepping.

He knew he was going to offer her a place to stay for a while.

He wanted to make sure it was as clean and comfortable as possible.

“You can lock the door too, whenever you need.” He assured.

He set the bag down on the bed,

Then wandered back to the doorframe.

He watched as she admired the room,

Eyes wide as she brushed her fingers against the bed.

He could only imagine how long it must have been since she had an actual bed to sleep in.

He smiled to himself,

Then quickly shook it away.

“I’ll leave you to make yourself comfortable.”

It wasn’t more than 10 minutes later that she emerged.

“I really like it in there,” she said meekly,

Clasping her hands in front of her nervously.

Bigby smiled softly.

“I’m glad.”

After all, he knew he didn’t have much to unpack.

He just assumed she would want some privacy.

Knowing that she wanted to spend time with him?

He couldn’t deny that it made his heart warm.

Later, Y/N woke up in the middle of the night.

She wandered to the kitchen, wanting some water,

And spotted Bigby sprawled on the couch.

An ashtray sat on the coffee table near him,

And his head was propped up with a folded blanket.

Her eyes widened.

He had given his room just for her to feel comfortable.

To feel safe.

She felt herself growing misty eyed,

But shook the thought out of her mind to fetch her water.

She would find a way to thank him.

Someday.

Every morning, Bigby woke up early,

Not wanting her to see that he was sleeping on the couch.

She always noticed him stretching his arms and back while in the kitchen.

Especially when he was making breakfast.

“Where do you sleep?” She finally asked one morning,

Watching as he attempted to loosen his sore muscles.

He turned around stiffly.

“Just in the other room.” His voice was gruff and hoarse.

He was in the process of finding another place to stay,

Or even finding a pull-out couch,

But it wasn’t that simple.

Y/N tilted her head.

She knew he was lying.

She was staying in the only room.

“By the way,” Bigby said, “we need to swing by the office together today.”

Y/N raised a brow. “Why?”

Bigby set down a plate of breakfast for the teen.

“Your adoption papers are ready.”

“My adop…”

Her voice trailed off.

Her eyes widened, starry and bright.

Bigby passed her the plate, smiling tenderly.

“So, eat up.”

Y/N was speechless, eyes growing teary.

He was adopted her.

He wanted to adopt her.

She was on the top of the world.

She just couldn’t wait for the papers to be signed.

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 💌☕️♡

[everalii]

The Downfall of the Quidditch Princess

Pairing: Everett Clopton x Imelda Reyes

Fluff and Rivals to Lovers. I don't know, there's something about this pairing <3 hope y'all like! I've wrote this in one sitting, I'm sleep deprived and in pain, please be kind to me. English is not my first language.

Warnings: light cursing. Use of MC, also neutral. No proofread, we die like Solomon.

I promised to @yimmy-poo and here it is! Enjoy, love <3

The sky was still dark when Everett woke up in the morning, indeed a very surprising feat, considering how late he went to bed the night prior. But, he had a very important task.

He got up and changed his clothes in haste, trying not to wake Andrew, who snored in peace, He ran outside the Ravenclaw common room, casting a desilusionment charm to avoid being caught by Merlin knows who. Everett did not want to face the Grey Lady or Peeves so early in the morning.

The boy reached his destiny with ease, and met with Garreth just outside the Slytherin bathrooms.

-Oi, did you brought what I told you? - he asked silently.

-G'morning for you too, sweetpea. - Garreth joked, earning a frown from the Ravenclaw. - I did. You sure she'll come this early?

-Positive. Lemme do it.

Garreth dropped a suspicious vial containing a very weird looking liquid, it's colour changing from pink to magenta to bright purple, in Everett's hands. The duo entered the girls bathroom and installed the vial inside bathtubs faucet. A single motion with his wand and Everett couldn't see the small bottle anymore as it merged with the coppery material of the faucet. He shared a laugh with the Gryffindor.

-MC said this is the only tub Imelda bathes in. She'll know we did, and she'll come raging at us. - Everett stated. Garreth agreed. - Can't wait for it.

-The downfall of the Quidditch Princess!

The boys sneaked outside to the Great Hall to, finally, enjoy their breakfast.

Imelda ran wrapped in her towel, grabbing another and covering her hair, as she screamed in horror and rage. It was ridiculous, she should hide before someone saw.

She took her bath in peace, not noticing the colour of the water, until she stood up. The Slytherin looked at her image in the mirror not believing: her fingernails were golden, her lips were blue and her hair... was now bright red with a few blueish streaks. She looked like the accidental child between a Gryffindor and Ravenclaw flag. Imelda knew this had Garreths finger, but the blue? She inspected the bathroom, finding a strange keychain lost next to the bathtub: a minuscule broom. A broom? Who'd be the brave Ravenc-

-Bloody Clopton, I'm going to murder your ass! - she shouted slamming her dorm door closed.

Properly in her quidditch gear, with a dark red lipstick covering the blue hue of her lips, Imelda rushed to the Flying fields. Her eyes looked as murderous as Harlows, when she spotted both Everett and Garreth laughing with Natsai and MC, her blood went cold in the veins.

Everett felt his body lost its composure and everything begun to roll very quickly around him, he saw Garreth floating desperatly by his side as well. Suddenly, a broom handle hit the back of his head really hard.

-What the fuck, you two?! Really? This is all you can think?! - she screamed gesturing her hair.

-Hey, Imelda Reyes dyed her hair red? She looks like Leander Prewett! - someone shouted from near the gardens.

-Imelda Prewett, that's so lovely! They'll make quite a couple, so weird it'll be cute! - another one jested.

Imelda felt the anger boil inside her, shaking her wand to make the Gryffindor turn upside down as he fell to the ground with a loud thud.

-Weasley is too idiot to do something on his own, I know this was you! Can't accept that I'm a better flyer than you, eh? Fine! I'll make you eat my broom's straw! - Imelda pointed her crooked wand to Everett and released him from his floating prison, mounted her a simple broom from the stacks, motioning him to do the same.

-What? Can't take a simple prank, quidditch princess? You're loosing your temper for so little. - he provoked winking at her, faking a smile while swallowing dry as he picked a broom. A faint blush crossed her sharp features. - You're paying attention to us, peasants, and being fair for once, so I think the prank had it's effects.

-Shush and fly! To Hogsmead Station Balloons and back, the first one to arrive will have to make a public statement that the other is the best flyer!

A crowd was gathered around them, MC counted from 10 to 0, and both adversaries flew with haste. Imelda truly flew faster for a while, a strong breeze kept her from first place for a few minutes. Everett got up high in the sky, pointing his broom downwards to earn speed.

The Slytherin was fuming with rage as she did the same, projecting her body foward for aerodynamics. She was the first again as they got close to Hogsmeade Station. Imelda turned to face Everett and another very agressive gust of wind, threw her body out, she lost control of her broom.

Everett forced his own broom and was now in first place again, when he noticed Imelda struggling to regain control. Her broom hit a tree, and she fell with a shriek. The boy, worried, turned to look out for her, finding Imelda crushed on the ground, the broom was now a pile of destroyed wood and straw.

-Are you hurt? - he asked dismounting. The answer was a loud grunt, a huff and a scowl, Everett inspected Imelda. - This looks broken as the broom.

-Feels broken, I must correct. - She sat, holding her arm, definetely broken in the middle. Everett took notes of the faint tears pooling in her eyes, she was probably in pain. - S-shite, how am I going to fly now? This is your fault!

-Mine? This is what you get for competing with an unknown broom! Fair, but not the best. You're annoying. - he stated. Imelda's face contorted in pain. - Let's get you to the infirmary, I'm not getting scolded for hurting a pure blood.

-Oh, now blood purity is your problem? Can't accept that a woman is better than you? - she scolded. Everett clearly didn't cared, he stod and picked her in his arms - What are you doing?! Are you mad? Put me down at this instant!

-Shush, for Merlin's sake.

The Ravenclaw Accio'd his broom, mounting it with Imelda in his arms. Despite her distrust in his abilities, he flew perfectly holding her, not faltering for a bit. They landed on the Clock Tower grounds, with many students observing.

Everett kept Imelda in his arms, walking to the tower. His face showed no emotions.

-Let me go, I can walk. - she demanded. Everett smirked, mimicking a no with his head. Imelda rolled her eyes and a blush tinted her cheeks. - Let me go, Everett!

-No, I'm taking the quidditch princess to her tower! - confusion clouded her expression - Agree now that I'm the best flyer, princess?

Imelda noticed the people around whispering about their situation, her situation. It was embarassing.

-So, you're doing this to humiliate me? I'd rather Sebastian as the best flyer than you. I hit a tree, that's not fair.

-Ah, this hurts my feelings, I'd never humiliate you. I'm just caring for you. - he winked and she blushed furiously.

They reached the infirmary, nurse Blainey questioned both for informations and stated that Imelda's arm was, indeed, broken, and the effects of the potion the boys pranked her was almost gone. She ought to stay for a night.

Imelda got the little broom keychain and handed to Everett. Her hair only had a faint red hue on the ends, her fingers weren't yellow anymore.

-You forgot this. - he looked thoroughly the object, biting his lip. - Don't ever pull a prank on me again, Clopton. And I'm never saying you're the best.

-Well, that's the only way a peasant can get your attention, so I can't promise I won't try again. - he laughed. Everett searched for the nurse, only to find a closed curtains behind him, he leaned to Imelda and whispered in her ear. - But you'll say I'm the best someday, I'll wait.

Imelda's face was covered in a violent blush, and she used the good arm to smack his shoulder. Everett barked a laugh. He was shoved out by the nurse a few minutes later, and returned to the Great Hall to find Garreth and Sebastian chatting loudly.

-Who won? - Sebastian asked.

-We both lost. - he answered blatantly. Sebastian and Garreth shared suspicious look, and laughed.

Everett was lost in his mind the entire day, looking at the keychain, wandering what his next prank on her will be. Maybe, this time he'll earn a kiss, who knows?

[percervall]

if your cascade ocean wave blues come

Player: Marcos Llorente Words: 1084 Warnings: Detailed description of a panic attack, dealing with mental health struggles, smut (just teeny bit), cockwarming (if you squint) A/N: I had this idea for a while but couldn't figure out where to begin until it hit me one Sunday and I wrote the whole thing pretty much in one sitting

---

You know before you even look at the clock that it’s early in the morning. It’s still pitch black, the world outside of your bedroom is very much still asleep. If only you were that lucky.  You can feel the worry gnawing at the edges of you as it takes up more and more space. Sighing, you toss and turn, trying to find the sweet spot on your pillow that will shut your brain up. It had been quiet up until the moment it woke you up, the pre-bedtime activities enough to tire you out, your anxiety riddled brain peacefully going along. Unfortunately for you, your brain wins this fight; thoughts begin running a million miles an hour and you can feel the panic slowly clawing its way into your chest and up your throat. 

You’re trying to fight the unravelling with logic, but it’s to no avail when your head keeps pelting you with what ifs and shouldn’t haves. You try to keep your breathing even, hoping that the war that’s raging in your body won’t wake up your boyfriend, but the feeling of someone squeezing your throat closed does absolutely nothing to help you do so. 

In.. out.. you tell yourself, counting your breaths as hot tears burn at the corners of your eyes and you swallow down a sob. You squeeze your eyes shut, a hand clamped over your mouth as you try every single coping strategy your therapist taught you, but nothing works –the failure only adds to the panic that’s tearing its way through you, paralysing you in the process as the only thought that crosses your mind is I can’t breathe. 

You know it’s too late to take the sleeping tablets she prescribed you with; if you take one now, you’ll be knocked out for the next 9 hours. The weighted blanket you would fall back on is still at your own flat, seeing as you had forgotten to bring it. You hadn’t thought you would need it, things had been going so well ever since you switched meds –too well apparently. Right now you could kick yourself for your optimism. Granted, things had been a lot worse at the beginning of your relationship with Marcos, where the anxiety had felt debilitating at times and you even wondered what he saw in you in the first place. Thankfully he was quick to dispel all your doubts and assure you that if anything, it made him want to love you harder, fiercer. 

Trying the breathing exercise once more, you let out a shaky breath but it’s not working. A frustrated sob escapes as an arm wraps itself around your waist, pulling you closer. 

“‘S wrong?” your boyfriend mutters in your ear, still half asleep. You try to answer him, but the panic has made it impossible to form a coherent thought. Instead you let out the sobs you’d tried to bite back. 

“Hey,” Marcos says, sounding a lot more awake now, “hey, I’ve got you.” 

You allow him to turn you around, to pull you against him. You claw at his chest, the feeling of his skin under your fingertips serving as a small reminder of what lulled you to sleep in the first place. Marcos keeps whispering sweet nothings in your ear, keeps running his fingers through your hair. You can feel his heart beating in his chest where your fingertips rest against his skin. The steady thud thud thud provides you with the lifeline you need in order to break through the haze of anxiety, as you slowly, so very slowly, return into your body. You realise how tense your muscles are as you try to relax into him, how you feel an ache whenever you move your legs, serving as another reminder as to what served as a sleeping aid. 

Marcos rubs slow little circles over your shoulder, the touch enough to break through the last of the fog in your brain. Your body feels heavy all of a sudden as the tension drains out of you. Taking a deep breath, you exhale slowly, before opening your eyes. A dull ache is settling behind your eyes and you know that it’ll feel like you’ve been hit by a truck when you wake up tomorrow, but you’ll gladly deal with that over the aftermath of a full blown panic attack that would lead you down the scary spiralling thoughts rabbit hole. 

Marcos looks at you, his eyes swimming with concern and adoration for you. 

“Had an anxiety attack?” he asks and you nod.  

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” you whisper, “just want to stop thinking.” Marcos smiles sleepily and pulls you even closer. 

“I thought you had fucked me dumb,” you confess, voice small, cheeks burning and core throbbing as more memories flood your head of how he had pulled orgasm after orgasm from you. Marcos’ chuckle reverberates through your chest and you can almost make out his cocky grin at your disguised compliment. 

“Let me try something. Am too tired to fuck you dumb as you so eloquently put it,” he says, pulling your thigh over his hip, “but maybe this’ll do the trick,” he adds and gently, so very gently nudges his semi-hard cock into you. You gasp, the feeling of him stretching you is almost overwhelming. He slides in easily, you’re still dripping from earlier with your own release mingled with his cum. Marcos holds you against him, one hand buried underneath his pillow while the other grips the fleshy part of where thigh meets hip. Your breath comes out panting as you get used to the feeling of him, fighting the urge to roll your hips.

“God, you always feel so good,” Marcos all but groans. You can’t help but moan in agreement, the feeling of being so full enough to make your brain stop whirling. It forces you to remain firmly in your body and out of your head. Marcos allows you to snuggle into him, and you let out a content little sigh as the exhaustion tugs at you. 

“Think you can sleep like this?” Marcos murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You nod, letting out a soft hum in agreement as your eyes struggle to remain open.

“Thank you,” you mumble. 

“Mm, more than welcome mi flor. Sleep, baby,” he murmurs, and it’s all the encouragement you need to fall asleep, feeling so warm and safe wrapped up in the cocoon his body creates for you. 

ngl, I was nervous to post this one. Having dealt with mental health problems myself (and having suffered from panic attacks), it hit a little close to home. Know that if you recognise yourself in this fic, you are worthy of help and love.

please let me know what you think, your comments are like breadcrumbs for the fanfic goblins in my brain (or maybe they're ducks. who knows?)

Tags @football-and-fanfics @kostasstsimikass @lfc21 @nyctophilic0vitnir

If you want to be added to the tag list click here