#i wish we'd never met
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monstersliveinthemirror · 1 year ago
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Screaming into the void
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carouselunique · 4 months ago
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Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...
I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.
I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.
(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)
I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.
And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.
Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.
If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)
All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.
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euclydya · 1 year ago
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4 18 and 25 for the plural game if you want to
this got longggg FBCJCJ
Are there any activities your system members like to do together? Collective hobbies? Talk about those!
Yes!! We enjoy gaming & drawing together usually! Uhhhh We also have some YouTubers we like watching together collectively IIRC but usually it's gaming & drawing.
Are there differences between systemmates surrounding sensory things? (For example, one person likes the taste of one food and another doesn’t.)
OH DEFINITELY LMAO there's foods a lot of us can eat that we Absolutely Cannot if Encyclo is Anywhere Near Front bc it just. Hates The Textures & Tastes So Much. And A few of us in the roster rn like Perception & Suggestion have roles that are just "Find This Specific Sensory Imput RIGHT NOW or so help me god" and we're like Why. Why do you fuckign want this. [lighthearted]
Like fr example. Perception's biggest front trigger is almost scalding hot water* & if our weighted blanket didn't have a hole in it Suggestion would probably front way more often & be able to without burning through so many spoons LMAO
[*WE DON'T KNOW WHY THIS IS we asked and it's not a self harm thing it's a "OOOOO the textures :))" thing SHE'S FINE LMAO]
What is something you wish singlets knew about plurality?
YES!!!!!!! OH MY GOD OKAY SO:
Fictives are not your blorbos™
we had the whole "omg you're [character]!!!! You're so cool Can we be besties can we date can we XYZ I only care about you btw" weirdness happen to us at LEAST once but that was yearssss ago luckily. Like. Just before our source even existed I think LMFAO
But yeah it's fucked up like Hello just because the brain introjected a bitch from media does not mean we r the same. At all. And this can be a blessing and a curse tbh like dude if our Harry acted even remotely similar to how he does in-game & he fronted often then like NOBODY WOULD WANT TO TALK TO US but I digress Sorry if that's mean We just woke up it's 2:30. in the morning. BUT ANYWAYS!!
Fictives are our own damn people we can (and DO!) grow and change & learn and quite often! Differ from source HEAVILY! But also y'know. Shout out to those who Don't change much or at all from their source cuz we've ALSO got a lotta fuckers like that here too tbh I'M GETTING OFF TOPICjfjdkskzd
It's just. So uncomfortable for us personally lmao. But also shoutout to the few people we've met who Tried doing that & were like "Understandable have a nice day" & learned & were Niceys abt things when we told them No. like. thank u 4 having common senseJFFJJSF
-PT
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hella1975 · 2 years ago
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hella I keep getting edits with some sort of original version of waiting room?? on my fyp and I'm gonna be honest waiting room wasn't a song that did me in quite as badly as the rest of you but this version I keep hearing literally rips my heart straight open😭😭 like I've been planning on fixing the no waiting room on spotify issue by taking it into my own hands🏴‍☠️ but now I know it's gonna have to be this version I'm not even bothering with lost ark waiting room. it's just gonna be waiting room og bc what the fuck?? "I never grew up with you, and you're not my waiting room" what the fuck??? with the haunting background noises literally WHAT THE FUCK????????
OMG IVE SEEN THAT ONE everyone keeps going on about the vocals of 'and you're not my waiting room' but i really cant get over 'i never grew up with you' like what??? WHAT??????
#for some reason i rlly connected this song to a childhood friend of mine that im pretty sure ive at least vaguely mentioned on here before#but basically we were INSEPERABLE for years of my childhood and he was about 2 years older than me#so i think i was 5 and he was 7 when we met and we stayed friends until i went up to secondary school so SIX YEARS#and we literally spent all day together we'd play in the gardens and run about the place and we were both really outdoorsy#and obvs it was before proper tech really started coming in so it was when kids literally just got shoved outside for the day#and left to their own devices and it was GREAT like i remember him and that time so fondly#but he was also really messed up like he'd come from a lot of foster homes and he'd had every kind of abuse#and he'd finally been adopted by the couple on my street who just couldn't handle him bc their answer to his issues#was to spoil him and give him what he wanted so he just got worse bc he had a real violent streak in him#and obvs if you let that grow in a boy they're not gonna wake up one day and it'll be gone like. it's going to get malicious#and low and behold he started getting like actually dangerous like he choked his sister once and he got kicked out of school#bc he threated to BEHEAD A GIRL WITH AN AXE like really fucked up shit#but i was in a pick me moment bc he was always really nice and respectful to me until he wasnt#and even then ive never ever blamed him for it bc we were both young and he was so traumatised#and sooner or later we stopped hanging out and my mum was relieved bc that's how bad he was getting#and ive literally never spoken to him again. but he's just one of those people i think about all the time????#like idk if it's bc of what went down or bc of the age i was but he was a HUGE deal to me and my development#and for some evil fucking reason i think of him when i listen to waiting room especially the 'i know it's for the better'#bc i KNOW it's for the better i got away from him before he got really bad but still i so desperately wish i couldve helped him yk?#especially now i understand what abuse actually means and what he'd suffered which i had no idea about at the time#SO TO ADD 'I NEVER GREW UP WITH YOU' WHEN I FEEL LIKE I ABANDONED HIM AS CHILDREN?? STOPPPP#PHOEBE PLEASEEEE#anyway unnecessary rant over rori pls pirate this song for the masses pls pls the world needs you#ask
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cuntwrap--supreme · 2 months ago
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Finishing the part of Bleach that matters and realizing I am Rangiku Matsumoto fr fr
· ginger ✔️
· tig ol' bitties ✔️
· pining after someone who is extremely emotionally unavailable and not being able to let them go no matter how horribly they treat you ✔️
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resolutepath · 5 months ago
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❛   i wish i could’ve been like you.  ❜   // deeluke ^_^
No you don't...
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The first thought that enters his mind is crushed beneath a thin press of lips and the gentle lowering of lids across eyes, anything to stave out the idea that anyone could wish to be like him. It is the curse of a public life, the spotlight sheering through his every move, the eyes that assume they know him because they have seen his history played out on the stage.
Yet, all they have seen is the final showcase, the rough drafts, the behind the curtain workings, all that has been withheld from scrutiny. The blood on his hands, his dances with death, the way he still burns, all squashed beneath the public figure who rose and grew. Would she still say the same if she knew all he had done?
"You've made your own path stark enough, wishing for another's is nothing but folly." It's cold the way he speaks, fingers twisting as he dries the glass in his hands one too many times and tries to ignore the tick of the clock that marks the time to close. While it is not comfortable persay, it is certainly a unique experience for them to be talking at all, to be dragging up a sense of honesty between them.
"We all wish for something different. In the end we can only manage what we have."
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quiltedlovers · 2 years ago
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sick of meeting new people and starting over i want home 
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mcflymemes · 11 months ago
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PRE ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue to help set up already existing relationships between your muses and give them past scenarios to reference, adjust as necessary
CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS
we were only kids back then. we didn't know any better.
you promised me we'd be friends forever.
you've changed quite a bit since i saw you last.
how are your parents doing? will you tell them i said hi?
i've known you for years, and you haven't changed a bit.
you've always been like this.
remember the last time this happened?
sure, i made a lot of mistakes, but so did you.
do you remember how we met?
you always stood up for me, no matter what.
i've always had a lot of love in my heart for you.
when i was struggling, you were always there for me.
I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY
i thought i told you to stay away.
you've got a lot of nerve, showing your face around here again.
i really don't want to see you again.
you're supposed to call and warn me before you show up here.
there's never going to be a "next time."
this is the last time you show up like this.
last time i said i never wanted to see you again, and yet here you are.
you can't just show up here unannounced.
you remember what happened the last time you showed up.
every time you show up here, shit hits the fan.
you're putting us all in danger by showing up here.
don't you have somewhere else to be?
ROMANTIC FEELINGS
i'm sorry, but i can't stop thinking about you.
after the time we spent together, you've been on my mind.
can we discuss what happened between us?
the last time i saw you, you were going to say something... and then you stopped.
did you mean it? any of it?
i wish we were still together.
would you go on another date with me?
it's hard to deny how you make me feel.
you've always had an effect on me.
i can't stop thinking about the way you look at me.
GENERIC "I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR A WHILE"
do you remember what you told me?
i can't believe this is happening to us again.
the last time this happened, we were better prepared.
i tried calling you a hundred times, but you never answered.
this was never supposed to end like this.
didn't you see my text?
i know you better than anyone else.
you can't lie to me. i can tell when you're lying.
you're making "the face" again.
you promised me you'd stop doing that.
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mrfoox · 2 years ago
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Wtf is my fascination with this little freak.... Hes just a dude but I'm so intrigued, I'm tired
#miranda talking shit#Its been two years but i still dont understand him so im guessing thats why#Tbf we didnt become closer until a year ago or something so yeah. But since day one i just felt like it was something with him and now im#Frustrated. Hes literally just a dude. Yet my brain find him so fascinating. I know i in general am very interested in people i like#But this guy man... I think it might be because i can understand him and thus cant predict him? My brain does love a mystery.#I mean i had an fairly intense period of 3-6 months where i was super fascinated by fabian. I still kinda am but now i think#I understand how he works over all so i do not feel the intense need to ask him all kinds of things and analyze? Bc now i have an decent#Idea of how he works. Meanwhile this little freak is almost the opposite of me in everything and i just want to study him. I think in a way#He reminds me of myself at least in the way of 'dealing' with mental problems etc. Or rather my past self. So i want to challenge him to do#It differently. I dont think i have an savior conplex or something when it comes to him bc i do basically not... Tell him to change?#I dont think i could change him. So thats not what my fascination comes from... But holy shit i just want to talk with him about everything#Also probably why i like him that he will answer any questions i ask. No topic has been bad or too weird and i appriciate that in others#But nah. Never been this intrested in someone whos this diffrent than me ever. I always need to have something major in common for a strong#Intrest. But here its like... We are both introverts ... And both social actors/pretenders... Otherwise our similarities are pretty small#I really wish i knew exactly why my brain is so intrested in him . I think its my hyperfixation being activated unfortunately.#Technically he have a lot of things/traits i dont like? But still i dont find him annoying or something?#Many things i dont agree or have the same opinion as him on. But i just find it refreshing ? Maybe its bc i basically havent known anyone#Like him. Hes not the type of person i attract or even put my time into i think. That's why ive told him we'd not be friends if we didn't#Meet this way. I would probably not have wanted to talk to him and i cant see him wanting to talk to me. Especially if we met when younger#No way teen Miranda would not go near him iajdjfjskskd id like to discuss this with him but im scared to scare him and scared to learn#Something bad or him not caring for me or something. I know he doesnt care about many things so id not be suprised but#Fuck this guy. I wamt to obsess over a video game instead where there are wikis to read /:
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monstersliveinthemirror · 9 months ago
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I don't want to do this anymore!!!!
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joelmillerisapunk · 9 months ago
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a sweet arrangement
sugardaddy!Joel Miller x f!reader
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Masterlist ♡ Sugar Daddy Masterlist
Wordcount: 3,374
Summary: You sign up for a sugar daddy app. What's the worst that could happen?
Warnings: 18+, fingering, oral (both m&f receiving), light bondage, reader might have pullable hair (i dont rememeber if i took it out) quick mentions of slut, baby, sweet baby, sweetheart, darlin
Notes: tysm @saradika-graphics for the dividers. I was cheated on over the weekend, and I wrote this as a "I wish I could be here" instead of being sad." Just another rich!daddy fantasy
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You've been feeling financially stretched lately, and after hearing about the concept of sugar daddies and sugar babies from a friend, you decided to give it a try. You sit on your bed and hesitantly create a profile on a popular app, describing yourself as a young, independent woman looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement. As you sit scrolling through, you can't help but feel a sigh of reluctance escape your lips. You never expected to find yourself on a sugar daddy dating app, but life has a way of surprising you sometimes.
After a few moments of looking around the site, a notification pops up. It's a message from a user named "Contractor_Guy."
Curiosity piques, and you open the message, hoping it's not some creepy come-on. To your surprise, it reads:
"Hey there. I don't usually do this sort of thing, but I figured it's worth a shot. My name's Joel. If you're interested in getting to know me, send me a message back."
Feeling intrigued, you reply:
"Hi Joel, I'm not sure what 'this sort of thing' is, but I'm curious now.”
The response comes quickly.
Contractor_Guy: "Haha, 'this sort of thing' is something I usually avoid. But hey, it's a new day, and who knows what it might bring?"
You: Hopefully luck! But seriously, what exactly are you avoiding?"
Contractor_Guy: "Haha, well that's a bit of a long story, darlin.”
You: "Oh, I don't mind a long story. I've got some time to kill. Besides, I find it intriguing that someone like you is on a sugar daddy app.”
Contractor_Guy: "Well, my last experience wasn't the best, and I'm just being cautious this time around.
But, here's the long version. I met a girl a few years back, and at first, things were great. We clicked, and the relationship was mutually beneficial. I was able to provide for her in a way she couldn't for herself, and in return, she was there for me when I needed emotional support. As time went on, she started to change. She became more demanding and less appreciative. It got to the point where she would expect extravagant gifts just for a simple text or phone call. I realized that she was only interested in my money and not in the relationship we'd built."
You: "I'm sorry to hear that. It's not easy to find someone who's genuine and appreciates what you have to offer."
Contractor_Guy: "Yeah, it was a tough lesson to learn, but I'm hoping to find someone different this time. Someone who appreciates the little things, too, not just the material things."
You: "I think that's a fair expectation. We all deserve to be appreciated for more than just our wallets. So, Joel, tell me more about yourself. What do you do for a living?"
Contractor_Guy: "I'm a contractor. I do mostly residential construction and home remodeling projects. What about you? What do you do when you're not scrolling through dating apps?”
You: "Lol, I'm usually at work. I'm a graphic designer, so I spend most of my days in front of a computer. It's not the most glamorous job, but I love what I do."
Contractor_Guy: "A graphic designer, huh? That's pretty impressive. I've always been more of a hands-on guy myself. But I must admit, there's something intriguing about a woman in the arts.”
You: "And who doesn't love a man who can wield a hammer and a chainsaw with equal ease?"
Contractor_Guy: "Oh, I'm definitely good with my hands darlin' ;). ”
You: "Maybe one day you'll show me just how good you are with your hands."
As the conversation continues to flow effortlessly, you both exchange numbers and agree to meet for a coffee date tomorrow. Before signing off, you send a playful message with a picture attached
You: "Well, I'm off to begin the countdown to our coffee date. I'll leave you with this little teaser. ;)"
Insert a picture of you posing confidently in a cute outfit, with a mischievous grin on your face.
Contractor_Guy: "Wow, that definitely has me counting down the hours! I can't wait to see you in person."
With that, you end the conversation eagerly anticipating your first in-person meeting with the intriguing contractor.
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The two of you meet for the first time at a trendy coffee shop downtown, and you can immediately sense Joel's charm and confidence. You can tell he's done this a time or two. He offers to buy you a drink and pulls out the mattest black credit card you have ever seen to pay with. He guides you to a table in the back corner, and you both engage in light conversation, discussing your interests and goals. Joel is clearly intrigued by you, and you feel a spark of attraction towards him as well.
"So, tell me more about yourself," Joel says, his eyes locked on yours.
"Well, like I said on the app, I'm a freelance graphic designer," you reply, “It's not the most stable job, but I love what I do."
"I can imagine," Joel says, a hint of admiration in his voice. "I've always been a fan of the arts. But I'm sure you understand the struggles of making ends meet as a freelancer. That's why I'm interested in this arrangement."
"I do understand," you agree, your mind already contemplating the potential benefits of such an arrangement. "It would be nice to have some financial stability while still being able to pursue my passion."
"Exactly," Joel says, his tone firm but understanding. "And in return, I'd like you to be my companion when I need someone to spend time with. We can go on dates, attend social events, or just relax at home. I value your company, you're easy on the eyes and brain, and I believe we would make a great team."
"I think that sounds fair," you say, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "I'm looking for something similar - someone who understands my situation and is willing to help me out."
Joel offers to take you to his place for a glass of wine, and as he leads you to his car, the conversation shifts to the details of the arrangement.
"Now that we've established the terms," Joel says, his voice low and serious, "I want to make something clear. I'm going to support you financially in any way you could ever dream of or want, but there's one condition."
"What's that?" You ask, your curiosity piqued.
"I want access to you whenever I please, however I please," Joel says, his eyes meeting yours. "I want to be able to use you for my pleasure whenever I want. Are you comfortable with that?"
Your heart races as you consider his request. You know what he's asking for, and you're not sure if you're ready for that level of intimacy. But at the same time, you can't deny the excitement coursing through your veins.
"I need some time to think about it. This is a big decision."
"Of course," Joel replies, his tone understanding. "Take all the time you need. But remember, this is the condition of our arrangement."
As Joel drives you to his mansion, you can't help but feel a mixture of excitement and trepidation. This is unlike any arrangement you've ever been a part of, and you're not sure what to expect. As you follow Joel upstairs, your heart races in anticipation. He leads you into a large, dimly-lit room, its walls adorned with black velvet and soft, glowing lights. A large bed dominates the center of the room, surrounded by various toys and restraints.
"I want to show you what I mean when I say I want access to you whenever I please.” Joel says, his voice thick with desire.
Joel leads you over to the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. He takes a seat on the edge, patting the space beside him. "Come here, sweetheart," he says, his voice soft and inviting.
You hesitate for a moment, unsure of what to do. But the curiosity and excitement pulsing through you win out, and you find yourself sitting down next to him. Joel's hand reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" he says, his gaze intense.
You feel your entire body get warm at the compliment, your heart racing faster than ever before. "Thank you," you murmur.
Joel's hand begins to trace a path down your arm, sending shivers coursing through your body. "I want to make you feel good, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and husky. "I want to give you pleasure like you've never experienced before."
Your mind is racing as Joel's hand continues to explore your body. You're not sure what to do, but you find yourself leaning into his touch, your body craving more.
"I want to show you something," Joel says, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He stands up and walks over to a large wooden chest at the foot of the bed. He opens it, revealing a variety of toys and restraints. Your heart races as you take in the sight. You've never seen anything like this before, and you're not sure what to make of it. Joel walks back over to you, a blindfold in his hand. "I want to show you how good it can feel to let go and trust someone," he says, his voice soft and soothing.
You hesitate for a moment but something about Joel's words and the look in his eyes makes you feel safe, and you find yourself nodding in agreement. He gently places the blindfold over your eyes, cocooning you in darkness. You can feel his hands on you, guiding you back onto the bed. You trust him, and you let yourself relax into the feeling of his touch.
Joel's hands continue to explore your body, tracing patterns and circles that send shivers of pleasure coursing through you. You can feel the bed shift as he leans over you, his breath hot against your ear. "I want to make you feel so good, sweetheart," he whispers, his voice barely above a whisper. Your breath hitches as his hands continue to wander.
Suddenly, you feel something soft and silky against your skin. It's a scarf, and Joel is using it to gently bind your wrists to the bedposts. You gasp at the feeling of being restrained, but the sensation is not unpleasant. Instead, it heightens your senses, making you more aware of every touch and caress.
Joel continues to explore your body, his hands moving lower and lower until they reach the waistband of your pants. He pauses for a moment, waiting for your consent. "May I?" he asks, his voice low and husky. You nod, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. He slowly begins to slide your pants down your legs, his hands lingering on your skin as he goes. You can feel the heat of his touch, and you find yourself arching up towards him, wanting more. Finally, your pants are off, and Joel's hands are free to explore your body in earnest. He caresses your thighs, your hips, your stomach, each touch sending waves of pleasure coursing through you.
You can feel yourself growing wet, your body responding to Joel's touch in ways you've never experienced before. You moan softly, your hips bucking up towards him. Joel takes the hint, his fingers finding their way to your wetness. He begins to explore you, his touch gentle but firm. You gasp at the sensation, your body quivering with pleasure. His fingers move in slow, deliberate circles that send shivers of pleasure coursing through your body. You find yourself moaning louder and louder, your hips bucking up towards him as you chase the feeling of release. Finally, you can't take it any longer. You cry out as the orgasm washes over you, your body trembling with pleasure. Joel continues to touch you, his fingers gentle as they bring you down from the peak of pleasure.
Slowly, your breathing returns to normal, and you become aware of your surroundings once again. The blindfold is still over your eyes, and you're still bound to the bed. But you feel safe and content, your body still humming with pleasure. He unties the blindfold, and you blink your eyes against the sudden brightness of the room. He's standing above you, a wicked smile on his face. "Did you like that, sweetheart?" he asks, his voice low and seductive.
"Yes sir," you get out with a hoarse voice.
Joel's gaze travels down your body, taking in the sight of you spread out on his bed, still bound to the bedposts. "Mmm, such a good girl already," he says, his voice full of satisfaction. "I have so much more I want to show you."
He walks over to the wooden chest at the foot of the bed and rummages through it, pulling out a variety of toys and restraints. Joel turns back to you, a pair of handcuffs in his hand. "May I?" he asks, his voice low and seductive.
“You may."
Your heart racies with excitement as Joel cuffs your hands above your head, replacing the soft, luxurious ribbon, and securing you back to the bedpost. You test the restraints, finding that they hold you firmly in place. Your heart is racing with excitement, your body tingling with anticipation. He walks back over to the chest and pulls out a vibrator. He turns it on, the buzzing noise filling the room. You watch as he approaches you. He traces the vibrator over your body, teasing you with each touch. You arch up towards him, wanting more. But Joel is in control, and he takes his time, drawing out the anticipation until you're nearly begging for release."Are you ready for more, darlin’?"
“Yes please,” your breath coming in short gasps.
"Good girl." He traces the vibrator lower, teasing your clit with each pass. You moan, your hips bucking up towards him. But he pulls the vibrator away just as you're about to come.
You whimper in frustration, but Joel just smiles. "Patience, baby, patience," he says.
He continues to tease you, bringing you to the brink of orgasm again and again, but never letting you fully come. You're writhing on the bed, your body begging for release when Joel leans down and whispers in your ear. "Do you trust me, sweetheart?"
You nod, your heart racing. "Yes, I do," you whisper.
Joel smiles, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He leans down and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. You moan, your hips bucking up towards him. You're ready for whatever comes next.
Joel breaks the kiss, his eyes locked on yours. "I'm going to take you to the edge, sweetheart," he says, his voice low and seductive. "And then I'm going to bring you back again. And again. And again. Until you can't take it anymore."
Joel's hand moves back to the vibrator, tracing it over your clit once again. This time, he doesn't stop. He continues to tease and pleasure you. Suddenly, Joel pulls the vibrator away once again. You whimper in frustration, but before you can protest, he's replaced it with his mouth. His tongue expertly teases your clit. His hands roam your body as he brings you to the brink of orgasm once again. This time, however, he doesn't stop. He continues to lick and suck at your clit, his fingers entering you and curling against your G-spot as he pushes you over the edge.
You cry out, your body shaking with pleasure as you come hard against his mouth. Joel doesn't stop, his tongue continuing to torture you as you ride out the waves of your orgasm. As you come down from your orgasm, you gasp for breath, your body still trembling with pleasure. Joel's gaze is intense as he watches you, his face flushed with arousal.
"That was so, fucking good," you manage to gasp out, your voice still hoarse from your orgasm.
Joel smiles, his eyes never leaving yours. "I'm glad you thought so," he says, his voice low and seductive. "But I think it's your turn now."
"My turn?" you ask, your eyes wide with curiosity.
"Yes," Joel says, his smile widening. "It's time for you to return the favor.”
You feel a pang of nerves flood your body. “But I'm still all tied up.”
Joel smirks, leaning in. He grabs the hollows of your cheeks, forcing you to look at him, “ I never said you needed to be untied, did I.”
You swallow hard, your mind racing with the implications of his words. Joel releases your cheeks, his gaze traveling down your body. "You're going to make me very happy tonight, sweetheart. Just remember - I want access to you whenever I please, however I please. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir," you reply, your voice full of submission.
Joel's smile widens, and he reaches down to unfasten his pants. He steps out of them and his boxers, revealing a hard, thick, ready erection. He climbs onto the bed, his legs straddling your chest. "Now, I want you to take me into your mouth," he says, his voice firm and authoritative.
Your heart is racing as you obey. He brings it up to your lips, and your tongue darts out to lick the tip. You can taste the hint of salt and musk, and you find yourself growing aroused again. You open your mouth wide to accommodate his size. He tastes so good, so intense, and you can't get enough. You begin to move your head, your mouth sliding up and down his shaft. Joel gasps, his hips bucking up towards you.
Suddenly he grabs your hair and holds his cock to the hilt, filing up your entire throat, blocking your airway. You try to gasp for breath as Joel holds you down on his large throbbing cock but it's no use. Your head is swimming with pleasure and arousal, and you're not sure if you can take anymore. Just then Joel releases his grip on your hair, allowing you to breathe again. You take the opportunity to pull away, gasping for air. Joel smirks down at you. "Such a good little slut for daddy already," he says, his voice full of praise. "Daddy wants to see more. Show me how much you want me."
You nod, your heart racing with anticipation as Joel pulls away and undoes your restraints. When he's back on the bed, you take him back into your mouth, your hands roaming his beautiful, full thighs. You begin to suck and lick at his cock, your tongue exploring every inch of him. You can hear Joel growing more aroused, his breaths coming in short gasps.
You feel a hand on the back of your head, guiding you. Joel is thrusting into your mouth, his cock sliding in and out. You moan around him, your hands reaching up to cup his balls. He's tensing, his hips bucking harder with each thrust. Suddenly, he lets out the most primal groan you've ever heard, his cock swells in your mouth. He thrusts into you one more time before coming. You can feel his warm come filling your mouth, and you swallow it down eagerly. Joel groans, his hips stilling as he rides out his orgasm.
You pull away, gasping for air and Joel collapses onto his back, his chest rising and falling rapidly. You can see the satisfaction on his face, and you feel proud of yourself. You've never done anything like that before, and you're not sure how you feel about it. But there's a part of you that's excited, that wants to do it again.
You're both panting heavily, your mind still reeling from the intense experience you've just shared. Joel's gaze is locked on yours, his eyes full of admiration and desire. "You were amazing, sweetheart," he says, his voice a low rumble. "I can't wait to show you more." A wave of excitement washes over you as Joel reaches out and gently strokes your cheek, his fingers lingering against your skin. "I want to make this arrangement work, darlin," he says, his voice soft and earnest. "But I need to know that you're in this for the right reasons."
Your heart races as you consider his words. You know what he's asking, and you're not sure if you're ready for the level of intimacy and commitment this arrangement requires. But at the same time, you can't deny the excitement coursing through your veins, the thrill of being desired and pursued by someone like Joel. You nod, your heart racing with both excitement and trepidation. "I think I'm ready to accept your condition," you say, your voice low and hesitant. "But I need to know that you're in this for the right reasons, too."
Joel's eyes meet yours, his gaze intense and serious. "I promise you, I want nothing more than to care for and support you, both financially and emotionally," he says firmly. "And I expect the same companionship in return."
You take a deep breath, your mind racing with the implications of your decision. But there's a part of you that's eager to explore this new world, to find out what it means to be truly desired and cared for by someone like Joel.
"Okay," you finally say, your voice full of resolution. "I want to make this arrangement work too."
Joel's face breaks into a smile, his eyes filled with relief and joy. He pulls you into a warm embrace, his arms wrapping around you tightly. "Thank you, sweetheart," he whispers, his voice full of gratitude. "I'm going to make sure you never regret this decision."
---
Thanks for reading ❤️ let me know if you'd like more from these two
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gguk-n · 3 months ago
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Last Straw (Lando Norris x Reader)
Thank you for the 400 followers. I love Lando but I felt like a bit of angst was needed.
Part 1 of Fading Shadow
Summary- Lando has been in a relationship for quite some time, most people didn't know that. Finally, the world finds out about Lando's girlfriend, he seems to forget about her.
Warning- Lando is a bit of an ass and the reader is a bit of a doormat
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{Reader's POV}
Lando won the second race of his career and the season at Zandvoort, Max's home race. I was over the moon watching Lando cross the finish line. He was so happy to have won another race, finally. As he got out of the car he ran to his parents; after the greeting and congratulations, he walked away to be interviewed. I was stood there, dumb founded as Lando left without even acknowledging my existence; I could hear people whispering as Lando walked away
When we got back to the hotel, "Lan, do you wanna go out to celebrate?" I asked looking at him as he got ready for a shower. "Oh, Y/N, I made plans with the others; none of their girlfriends are coming. It'd be weird" he stated. "Oh, yeah, obviously. Well, I hope you have fun. I'll be here waiting for you" I said trying to give him a smile but I felt tears well up. Lando left soon after, while I was sat in the hotel scrolling through twitter when I saw something I wish I hadn't. I couldn't stop myself from reading through the tweets.
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I could already imagine my friends screaming at me for staying after everything. It had always been like this, it always felt like Lando was too embarrassed to be seen with me. We started dating a year and a half back but we met 2 years back, when I was on a vacation with my friends. He was the best guy, or so I thought. We exchanged numbers and stayed in contact until he asked me out. It was straight out of a movie, the whole nine yards. But he wouldn't let me tell my friends, "baby come on, why do you wanna tell everyone and ruin the fun just yet. I like the thrill, isn't it fun trying to act like there's nothing between us" he said as he pushed me on my back on the sofa while his lips trailed the exposed skin on my torso; honestly I'd lose any train of thought once his lips were on my skin. Though I accidentally let it slip one day, they had been trying to get me to go on a blind date. So, I told them I was dating Lando Norris. They were so excited and wanted to meet him.
When Lando found out about that, he was furious and didn't speak to me for days. "HOW COULD YOU TELL THEM? AFTER ALL THE TIMES I TOLD YOU NOT TO....ARE YOU STUPID?" he shouted. "Lan, it was an honest mistake. They kept trying to set me up on a blind date and I didn't wanna go, obviously since I have you. Please, I'm sorry. I won't do anything stupid again. Please just join me for lunch on Sunday. I'm really sorry" I cried. "Then you should've gone on that stupid date" he spat as he walked away. I should've known then. It was only after I begged and pleaded that Lando agreed to meet my friends. He never let me forget how he did me a favour by agreeing to meet my friends. "baby, you know how much I love you right" he asked. "yeah" I replied as he intertwined his fingers with mine. "I can't share you with others. I get so jealous. You're mine and only mine. And that's why I can't have you meet my friends" he said as he started sucking on my neck.That's why I didn't bring up the fact that I hadn't met his friends since we'd known each other for a year and dating for half of it. We barely even went out on dates; we'd always have in home dates since he was a celebrity and didn't like the paps. He would always say that he enjoyed the normalcy and the feeling of being a regular guy with me. "Baby, do you really wanna go out, where we would be spotted and then people say stuff about us. Don't you like being home, wear whatever you want. I can touch you however I want. Come on, why do you wanna ruin something so perfect" he hummed against my lips as his fingers pushed my underwear aside. I was so naive and thought that he was such a romantic guy.
It a little before our 1 year anniversary when I started asking him to take me along to the races since I wanted to be there to support him in person. "Lan, I really wanna be there for your races. I wanna see my boyfriend being cool at what he does." I whined. "You already do see me on the teli, it's practically the same" he said. "Please Lan" I begged. "Baby, I love you I truly do and I wanna show you off to the world but you know how the fans can get, they ruined my last relationship and I can't lose you. I love you too much" he said making me blush. I believed him like the idiot that I was. I believed every lie that left his pretty lips even when he would say that all those pictures of him on twitter with girls were edited and that he would never do that to me. I believed him.
I don't know how much I begged to be at a race and when I got to go to the first race of my life with him as his girlfriend and of the season; I was ecstatic. I made sure to be dressed well so as to not embarrass Lando and made sure to be a little controlled in my movements even though I was super excited to be there since I loved Formula One. All the other drivers were pretty shocked to meet me and even more so when they found out we'd been dating. They were all very kind and so were their girlfriends. I thought we'd be the best of friends and I'd have someone to hang out with while my boyfriend raced. Oh how stupid I was, they never even told me that Lando cheated on me or that their boyfriends knew and they never told me. I had an inkling that Lando was cheating on me; I saw it with my own eyes on the night before my birthday; the day of the Miami GP and he was celebrating with everyone and I saw him kissing a girl. No one saw me because I left immediately and cried myself to sleep. I hated myself for never confronting Lando; I brushed it off thinking that if I tried harder Lando would be back to himself, the Lando I know. But the Lando I knew was a facade and never existed. Lando had only been playing with my heart, it seems.
Did I tell you? He forgot our anniversary and said he would make it up to me. Which I do not believe he has. "Fuck baby, I'm sorry" he whispered as he wiped away my tears. "You know how busy I've been with the season starting and stuff. You'll forgive me right? I'll make it up to you, promise." he said while I nodded along to him. My friends hated his guts, but I was the one covering for him. When they asked why we weren't public; I said I wanted to be private. When they asked about Lando's multiple infidelities I would lie to their face and say that everything was a lie and a ploy to ruin his reputation; that's what I knew then and believed. I would see them face palm themselves mentally, now that I thought about it.
I guess being embarrassed by the man you love, multiple times, publicly can fuck you up. Because right now, I couldn't even cry anymore. I couldn't believe the other girls wouldn't even reply to my texts on the group chat; they added me to. This was humiliating. I was done with that asshole and I wasn't about to let him walk all over me anymore.
I wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face. I got dressed and decided to show up at the same bar he was at. When I entered, I saw him, dancing and drinking with others. I saw the other drivers with their girlfriends; I couldn't help but laugh bitterly. I walked up to the bar and sat down and started ordering the most expensive drinks they had. "Bad day?" The bartend asked. "Horrible, my boyfriend's been cheating on me" I chuckled. "I'm sorry." he looked apologetic. "You have nothing to apologise for. Just add the tab of every drink I put down my throat to that guy in the white shirt" I said directing his eyes to Lando. "Lando Norris?" he asked. "Yeah" I said and started to drink. I was sure Lando saw, I could feel it. I felt multiple eyes. I felt my phone buzz multiple time; I wasn't sure if it was some one who cared about me or those assholes since I didn't want to check my phone.
After a good hour of just drowning my feelings in alcohol, I stumbled my way out of the bar. I had made the decision to move out of that hotel room to another hotel and stay there before I flew back to get all my stuff. Lando would be too hammered to realise I was gone. I woke up the next morning with a major hangover but I knew what I wanted. I flew back to our his home in Monaco and took all my stuff; thankfully not a lot and left with a note on the table saying 'We are done'. I left any and everything he gave me, which wasn't a lot when you think about how I was dating a millionaire. I blocked Lando's number while I waited for my flight back home, can't believe I gave so much up for this man boy. I will be putting myself first finally.
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{Lando's POV}
I saw her, but I wasn't sure if it was really Y/N so I texted her but no reply. Apparently, she was at the bar we were at but she didn't approach me or us. Everyone saw her, I thought she didn't see us but I found out she knew I was there since she billed everything she had to me; which was a lot of alcohol, almost enough to cover half the amount I spent on the group. I knew I was fucked. I had no idea how I was gonna explain myself to her. I tried texting her but no reply. I think she blocked me and when I saw twitter I saw Y/N had posted a story but I couldn't see it either; guess she blocked me on there too.
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I flew back as soon as I was able to, to find the house empty and a note on the table saying we're done. I guess I deserved that after the shit I pulled; well at least it's not as messy as I expected it to be.
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darkestspring · 5 months ago
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Yandere Conquerors ( Visenya / Aegon / Rhaenys) and third wife reader.
"I don't need a third wife." Was the words Aegon once said, and never once had he thought that he'd regret speaking those words.
Not until he met you. You. You. Lovely you.
You were Torrhen Stark's eldest child, a lovely thing that had both beauty and brains, not to mention your inclination for spoiling your direwolf, loving cooing at it as you went off to hunt with the beastly thing.
Aegon had never felt himself want for something so much, not since the conquest began. He wanted you, so desperately. he wanted to tangle his fingers in your hair and hear you giggle as he devoured you whole.
He glanced towards his sisters who were both stuck staring at you, not a single trace of envy or jealousy on their face. Rhaenys' cheeks were flushed red, not from the cold Aegon assumes, and Visenya's eyes were filled with a look of utter fondness, which was rare. Visenya hated people more than she liked them.
You stood there, laughing as you threw balls of snow between you and your brother, Brandon.
A loud laugh left you, happiness making your eyes light up as the snow started to drip off of you as it turned into water. "No fair! I wasn't expecting it!" You pouted at your brother.
Brandon laughed, "That is why it was the best time to attack, my dear sister," He took notice of the three before you did and straightened up.
"Dear one." Torrhen called out to you, gesturing you closer and you raced closer.
"Father, welcome back!" You greeted him with a smile before gazing over at the trio of targaryen's and the smile on your face nearly falters but you'd been taught strictly by your mother.
"Welcome," You spoke softly, bowing your head softly. You'd been given the news and you didn't particularly care about going from a princess to a lady. It let you play in the snow with your brother, so you were fine.
"This is my daughter." Torrhen introduced you to them and you smiled up at them.
"It's an honor." Your murmured softly.
"Lady Stark, the honor is solely ours." Visenya took your hand into hers before the other two could even reach out and placed a kiss on the back of your gloved hand and your cheeks flushed bright red at the gesture.
Aegon had determined he was damned by the gods in that moment, he wished he could eat his own words. He needed to find some way to marry you. He was a king now, he could very well do that but Torrhen didn't look like he'd very easily let you go.
"You should visit us on Dragonstone!" Rhaenys spoke softly, leaning down to gaze at you with a smile. "We'd be happy to have you there!"
Torrhen had the odd feeling that he was watching three vultures flock around his daughter. No, that was absurd, it was well known throughout westeros that Aegon refused to take a third wife. Yes, he had no reason to worry.
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god-i-hope-so · 5 months ago
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Buck receives the call from Tommy's captain himself in the middle of the night, during his shift. He's Tommy's new emergency number, he's also been at the center of a recent discussion with Tommy's captain about it, after years of not having a real emergency number except his closest coworkers.
Buck arrives at the hospital, a little frantic, still in his uniform. He knows it's "not life threatening" but bad enough for Tommy to undergo emergency surgery. Captain Garcia meets him near the lobby, his left hand in a thick bandage, his arm in a sling.
"Firefighter Buckley? Evan Buckley? Captain Garcia. I wish we'd met under different circumstances."
"Captain."
"We were on a fire near the station, the structure collapsed, probably due to a weakness we couldn't see. A rebar went through his thigh, lots of bleeding, but he should be okay."
"Should?"
"I'm not a doctor, son, but I know when a man's dying. And he wasn't."
Captain Garcia is clear and to the point, and Buck appreciates it.
Waiting alone in the lobby of the hospital in the middle of the night wasn't on his plan for this shift. He could have called Maddie but it was 2 am when he got the call. He'll call her later.
Then a woman and two very sleepy young children sit not too far from him. While she settles the kids on the seats next to her, their head on her lap, her eyes land on Buck.
"You're Evan, right?" she asks in a low voice.
Buck is surprised, he doesn't know her, doesn't recognize her face.
"I'm Sophie, er, Dan's wife, Tommy's coworker. They were together when it happened. I know we never met but I've heard of you and Philip- Captain Garcia told me you were already here."
She looks at him with kind eyes behind her tired and worried expression.
"It's- It's nice to meet you, Sophie. I'm sorry, I- I don't-"
"It's alright, I know Tommy is a very private man." She sighs. "He and Dan have been working together for seven years now. Dan has always been the kind to easily befriend people but Tommy was quite the challenge when he was transferred at the station!"
Her smile is genuine. She's picking at her nails, her hands slightly shaking.
"Can I get you something warm to drink?" Buck proposes, already standing up. He needs to move, idly waiting has never been his thing.
"Oh, coffee? Thank you."
"No problem. Anything for them?" he looks at the sleeping children, realizing they're younger than he first thought.
"Water, for later maybe, I don't want to wake them up."
"Of course."
His smile feels stiff on his own face. He shouldn't be here, meeting the wife of Tommy's coworker on the cold plastic seats of the hospital. He should be with his team, sending bad jokes and flirty messages to Tommy who would indulge him.
When he comes back from the vending machine, Sophie is typing on her phone and doesn't see him.
"Here you go," he says softly, not wanting to startle her.
"Thank you." She tastes the coffee, makes a face and sighs. "At least you know the job," she says with a small smile.
"I guess I do. But..."
"I know. It's worse sometimes, because you know what really happens." She lowers her eyes on her coffee cup, swirling the dark liquid in it. Her loose braid slowly comes undone, letting strands frame her face. "Let's meet again around a meal, when our men are better, yes?"
Our men. Buck never thought about Tommy that way, as part of "our men". He nods.
"I'd love that. Thank you, Sophie."
He wonders if that's what if feels to be a "firefighter's wife", to be the partner of a first responder, meeting around unfortunate events and making plans for better days. Sophie shares stories about the station in hushed voice, telling Buck about the people there, the others wives and partners, the children, the parties and the solidarity. Of course, everything sounds very familiar to Buck, but it's like hearing stories from another family.
Then he hears Tommy's name being called and for a second, he feels dizzy. Sophie almost gets up with him then smiles at him. He realizes he didn't ask about Dan, but he'll make sure to stay in touch through Tommy.
The surgeon is in a hurry but takes a few minutes to explain what she did and what will happen next. Tommy will be fine, his leg will recover but the muscle has been badly damaged and it'll take him some time to go back to his daily routine. Even longer before being able to go back to work.
The room is quiet when he enters, safe for a regular and reassuring beep. Buck hesitates a second, seeing Tommy like that feels crushing, even if his sleeping face looks relaxed. His fingers slip into Tommy's hand before gently squeezing it. Feeling his warmth on his palm soothes his nerves.
"Hey, babe."
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pleasantlycrazyworld · 2 months ago
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Logan's girl
Summary: Jessie's girl inspired; Jean has feelings for Logans girl and Logan over hears and gets insecure
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Logan woke up to you in his arms and warmth fills him seeing you so peaceful in his arms. He hated that he had to get up, but he managed to move you away from him without waking you and he sneaked out of the room to start making breakfast for the two of you.
When he was heading to the kitchen, he overheard Jean talking to Storm while they were drinking coffee at the table in there. He didn't think anything of it and was about to continue going into the kitchen before he heard his name and your name, when he heard that he froze and started to actually listen to what she was saying.
"Logan is a great teammate, you know he's starting to be a good friend of mine but lately something changed itsn't hard to figure out, he got himself his girl and I-I really want to make her mine..." Jean admitted to Storm her feelings that she's been hiding for a while, and Logan felt his eyes widen.
He heard Storm gasps lightly "Jean you don't mean -" Jean cut her off and continued her ramble. "It's been killing me to see her watching him with those eyes, and she's loving him with that body, I-I just know it! And he's getting to hold her in his arms late at night!! I wish I was with Logan's girl, and you know I just feel so dirty when they start talking cute I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot...she really does love him doesn't she?" Jean asked weakly, already knowing what the answer was. Storm felt for her friend, but at the same time, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.
No one has ever seen this side of Logan. Logan was actually in love, he really loved his girl. Anything with eyes could tell that she was the man's soft spot, and he was really starting to soften up with everyone around him, not just her. The two of you had been together for a few months now but in that spam of time Storm could see a change in Logan that she hoped lasted. Storm just hoped Jean didn't do anything stupid and left the couple alone. Hopefully, Logan never found out how the red head felt towards his girl.
Unfortunately, he heard the whole confession. He decided that breakfast was something the two of you could go out for and went back up to the bedroom as quietly as he could. While he was heading back to your shared room he was trying to remain calm and to keep his claws in so you wouldn't be able to tell right away that he was upset about something so early in the morning.
"Baby...princess," he shook you awake. You groaned and tried to ignore him, but after a while, you admitted defeat and just woke up. "Whaaat??? It's so early, bub." You groaned louder, rubbing your eyes. Usually, hearing you call him bub resulted in him giving some sort of snarky comeback reminding you that he isnt your bub he's your handsome man, but today, it just made him drag you out of bed. "We're going to breakfast, thought we'd go to your favorite diner angel." He got the two of you dressed as you leaned against him and practically slept on him.
He had to drag you out of the mansion, he couldn't be in there anymore knowing there was someone else in there who wanted his girl. He didn't want to see Jean or Storm or anyone, and he didn't want you to be around Jean anytime soon. The two of you got to the diner alarmingly fast and as the two of you sat across from each other, you could tell something was bothering him. His jaw was locked, his brows were furrowed, and when the food arrived he was violently stabbing his eggs.
"Lo... my handsome man, what's bothering you, baby?" You asked a bit timidly, your voice was full of concern. You could tell he didn't want to tell you, he was avoiding eye contact but finally the two of you met each other's eyes and he sighed before sitting up straighter. He cleared his throat before telling you what happened, "I overheard... something today. It was um interesting?" He cringed thinking about this morning before he sighed again and continued explaining, "Jean, she said she has, she's been having feelings for my girl." His jaw clenched harder than before, something you thought was impossible and made you worry he would actually break his teeth.
"Your girl? But that's me," you said innocently with a shrug, not connecting the dots. Logan nodded with a look on his face that read, 'Don't make me say it again, please.' "Yeah, my girl princess..." He said again, waiting for it to connect in your head, and when your eyes widened, he knew that everything was connected. "Logan....I..." You didn't know what to say, honestly. You hardly knew Jean. You worked with her a handful of times, and the times you do interact, she does get flirty.
You started to think back on the times she flirted with you in the past and the incidents that may have shown her feelings clearer.
"Did you change your hair? It looks beautiful," she twirled a piece of your hair, "and it's so soft. What shampoo do you use, sweetheart?" --- then there was the time after you made dinner for everyone. She thanked you for your hard work and amazing food, and she graced your arm with her hand softly before walking away. --- or the time where during a movie night you noticed how she sent glares your way while you were cuddled up with Logan on the recliner but you had just assumed she wanted to be in his lap, not wanting to have you in her lap.
You cringed at the realization and you were praying that Logan didn't know about the flirty past few weeks. You knew this would hurt him even if he had nothing to worry about. He didn't know why it bothered him so much, he trusted you, loved you and you loved him but the idea that someone else, someone strong, pretty and younger could love you better than him just ate away at him.
When the two of you got back to the mansion you avoided Jean as the plague, it was clear that the two of you may have overheard that she had growing feelings towards you and she was devastated. She had a strong feeling that even if she didn't confess to you, she still ruined your friendship somehow. It became more clear to her that you two learned about her feelings when later that night she overheard you two moaning each other's names loudly, as if to claim one another to everyone else in the mansion. The next morning she couldn't make eye contact with you, when she did her eyes immediately went to the hickies that covered your neck.
Tagging:
@userchai
@mahi-tamashi
@100percentlazybonez
@lanassmarty
@western-pyro
@misscrissfemmefatale
@marit332
@navs-bhat
@fluffy-b33z
@chaimshelii
@helpyourself-9
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tomssexdoll · 5 months ago
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Love will find a way
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"why were you actually struggling so much?"
"cause I couldn't stop thinking about you..."
PAIRINGS: Tom 2010 x Female reader
CONTENT: ANGST + SMUT + FLUFF
SYPNOSIS: Y/N and tom are forced into a marriage by both their families, since it benefits them, they hate each others guts, always getting in arguments and sleeping in seperate bedrooms, they do almost anything to get away from each other. One day Y/N notices he's been struggling with business lately, she feels bad and tries to help, ending with him snapping at her and yelling for her to leave, she just scoffs and doesn't even try to fight back, surprising tom.
A/N: ily all
WARNINGS: dom!tom, sub!reader, p in v (riding ), eating out, mutual masturbation (fingering and handjob), breast/nipple play, light arguing
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Me and Tom were forced into a marriage by both our families, they said that it benefited them, boosting their reputation and their businesses. We fucking despised each other, from the moment I met him I could tell he was an asshole.
His manners off putting, his attitude and snarkiness. I was forced to break up with my secret, loving boyfriend just to marry this asshole, sometimes I wished I was never in a mafia family, the consequences of it weighing on me.
I had to have a huge wedding too, something I'd always wanted but it was with the wrong person, everything was accomodated to my needs and desires but there was only one problem, the groom.
Living with him was hell, I had scheduled my meals to be way after his, breakfast was at 6, while his was at 8, lunch at 3, his at 1, and dinner at 8, his at 6. I purposefully made it so I didn't need to run into him after finishing my dinner, the thought of even being around him annoyed me.
His face, his voice, his stupid personality, the way he walked. Everything about him I hated, when we would cross each other all we'd do is argue, I'd scream at him and he'd scream at me, sometimes the bodyguards would have to get involved and tear me off him.
Our "marriage" was nothing short of terrible, everything about it, when he'd try to do nice things for me I'd just shut him down, not even baring the thought to look at him, let alone spend time with him. At events of course we had to seem happy, whenever I had the chance to run off I did, as did he.
Lately I'd been noticing him struggling, the paperwork he was usually amazingly good at handing in on time, going 2 days late, 3 days, and even weeks late. His father was coming around and checking in, asking why he was delayed so much, that it wasn't like him to do this, but as usual, Tom just brushed him off.
As much as I hated him, I didn't like to see him struggle that bad, I knew how important these businesses were to him, how hard he worked to keep them afloat. One day I slipped into his office, greeting him with a soft smile.
"What?" he muttered, I tried to ignore the annoyance in his voice, telling myself that I'm here to help him and not to snap at him. "Can't you see I'm working y/n? Don't you have better things to do?" he looked up, leaning back in his chair, his eyes narrowing as he studied me.
The air in the room seemed to thicken with tension, but not good tension, like hatred was brewing in the air, ready to spill over. "I was just going to offer my help, I've noticed you've been struggling Tom," I sighed, his name leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
"And, why do you care all of a sudden?" he looked back down at his paperwork, flicking through the pages and then looking back up at me, "I thought you hated me.." he said, his tone bitter and cold.
"Trust me, I do. But I don't want to see your business struggle, it's not good for our reputation," I scoffed, grabbing the files and taking a quick look at them. His gaze intensified, his eyes boring into mine with an unnerving intensity as he leaned against his desk, arms crossed over his broad chest.
"These are easy, what's wrong with you? usually you're terrific at working on these, why are you struggling so much?" I touched his arm softly, he paused, a flicker of surprise crossing his features before it was quickly covered up by his usual stonic expression. His muscles tensed slightly beneath my touch, pushing my hand off.
For a second, I swear I saw his eyes soften when I touched him, like he wanted to give into something but of course he quickly composed himself, going back to his usual cold self.
"it's nothing, just stress.." he grumbled "stress? bullshit, you're never stressed," I pressed the issue again, I could see his anger growing, his chest heaving up and down as he snapped at me, "Enough!" he slammed his fist into the desk, causing me to jump at the sudden outburst. "GET THE FUCK OUT! I don't need you here, all you do is cause a headache, I can work on this shit on my own," he yelled, hungry for an argument, using hurtful words on purpose to rile me up.
I didn't budge though, just scoffing and not fighting back, usually I'd scream and fight, but I didn't want to give him the reaction he so desperately wanted. I turned around and just walked off, tears in my eyes as I slammed his office door shut.
Tom just stared at the closed door, watching me walk off. His expression slowly shifted from anger to guilt, he knew he had crossed a line, letting out a heavy sigh and running a hand through his hair, "fuck.." he muttered.
I stormed into my room, tears streaming down my eyes, I quickly locked the door behind me, not wanting to face Tom for a while. His words cut me deep, why was I so affected by someone like him? Why was I feeling this way?
He silently got up, deciding that he should put his ego aside and hurting me actually did effect him, it weirdly made his heart clench. He slowly walked down the hall, reaching my room, he leaned back against the door, hearing my muffled sobs. He knew he really hurt me this time and he hated himself for it, he never actually wanted me gone, his anger just got the best of him, his pride and selfishness making him lash out.
Usually we'd get into arguments, we'd spit harsh words at each other and just end up fucking, the sex full of hatred and anger, nothing passionate or intimate about it at all. Then, of course we'd go back to being enemies, ignoring each other for days.
After a few moments, he quietly knocked on the door, "Y/N..?" he gently said, "fuck off! I don't want to fucking talk to you!" I screamed, pushing him away even further.
His heart sunk at the sound of my anger, he knew he deserved it but of course it still hurt. "Fine..." he sighed, walking back into his office. I thought that was it, that it was just gonna be left at that, like it always was, but boy was I wrong. He sat down in his chair, looking at the items around him, wondering what he could use to convince me to talk to him.
His eyes lit up as he saw a pile of paper in his desk drawer, he pulled a few out and got one of his pens, opening the cap and contemplating his words, what would win me over? Hours passed, the house remaining silent, his thoughts are consumed with guilt and regret as he kept writing, his hands working at lightning speed, numerous of crumpled up pages were scattered across the floor and desk, he wanted this letter to be perfect.
He knew he has to quickly give this to me, to make amends, any more time that went by made him anxious, he was scared I'd think he just abandoned me.
As night fell, he finally finished. Grabbing a small, yellow envelope and folding the paper, putting it in and sealing it shut. He slowly arose from his chair, making his way over to my room again, I could hear his footsteps approach, I watched as a small envelope slid under the door, the moonlight from the window illuminating it, his footsteps quickly dissipating back to his office.
I slowly got up, sliding my slippers on and walking to the door, bending over and picking up the envelope, on the back it read, "words I wish I had said" I curiously opened it, walking back to my bed and sitting down, placing the envelope on my nightstand as I pulled out the paper.
I unfolded it, his neat, bold writing covering the page.
Dear Y/N,
My wife, I know we've been forced together, I know about the boyfriend you had before me, your father told me about him. He told me about how he wasn't good for you, how I needed to step in and marry you. How the business would benefit from us being together, that our reputation would flourish. I stupidly put my ego first, selfishly wanting my business to boom, to make tones of money.
The thing I missed out on was possibly making a relationship with you, a real, raw, romantic relationship. From the moment I saw you I was in love, I tried to form one, doing things for you but your hatred for me wouldn't subside and I just decided to be petty and act the same way, I denied my feelings by pushing you away, yelling with you and causing arguments.
I deeply regret what I did, I was caught up in my own thoughts, cursing myself every day for hurting you but I couldn't stop. I don't know why, it was like a drug to me, the rush of knowing you'd be there every single time, even after a major argument.
The hate sex made it worse, fuelling my ego more than it should've been. I was selfish and I hurt you, I can never forgive myself for that. The love I have for you is incomparable to that stupid twit you called your boyfriend. I know you were in love with him and still probably are but, if you give me one more chance can I prove I can be the right guy for you?
I'll stop treating you badly and just express my love and gratitude towards you. You're truly one of the most beautiful women I've ever laid my eyes on, you're kind, caring and generous, nothing like the other women I was set up to marry with.
I know I don't deserve a chance at all, after all the things I did to you it's understandable. But please, I'm begging you for this chance, I'll do anything you ask me to, I'll fucking jump off a cliff for you, I'd do absolutely anything for you, just if it means I can have you in my arms forever.
As I finished reading the letter, tears fell down my cheeks, dripping onto the paper. I realized my feelings for him, the ones I had buried inside me for a long time, refusing to let out.
Of course I hated him at the start, who wouldn't? I just didn't notice the feelings that developed, even through hatred. The times I'd just admire him at parties, get jealous of any girl who approached him, catching myself just sitting in his office to feel his presence.
I felt like I was going crazy, like all of this was just a dream and that it would all be over. But I had to snap back to reality, I had to confront him with my feelings and talk about it, I couldn't hide away for much longer.
I put my robe on, walking out of my room and towards his office, gently opening the door, meeting his eyes. "Oh...you got my letter.." he softly smiled, something I'd never seen on his face.
I softly nodded, closing the door behind me and approaching his desk. "How about you help me with the rest of the paperwork," he ushered for me to sit down next to him, a chair already prepared for me. I knew he didn't know how to express he wanted to talk to me, his eyes filled with desperation, waiting for me to accept his offer.
"Sure, the paperwork," I sighed, sitting next to him and skimming through it, I quickly signed off different things, fixing mistakes, feeling his eyes burning into the side of my head.
He took a deep breath, mustering the courage to broach the subject that's been weighing on the both of our minds, "You did that really well, you know I..I never expected for it to be like this, I never wanted our marriage to be this toxic.." he said softly, reaching out, taking my hand in his.
He gently rubbed his thumb over my hand, causing me to turn to him, looking into his eyes. "I know..I guess my hatred from the start kind of blew it up, I did notice the things you tried to do for me but I couldn't handle being away from someone I loved, someone I was ripped away from. Can you really blame me Tom, I was scared.." I sighed, he instantly shook his head, grabbing both my hands and leaning closer.
"There is never a day where I blame you, I blame myself for everything, I hate myself for the hurt I've caused you, I should've never taken the deal, I should've just told your father no, I know you probably still love that guy," he rambled, but I quickly cut him off, "still love that guy? Oh god no, he's a thing of the past. I was out one day and saw he had already moved on, only 2 weeks after we got married, when having feelings for you came into question in my mind I always shut it down, thinking it was impossible because of how far I had pushed you away.."
"We really are stupid, aren't we?" he chuckled, pressing his forehead against mine. "Yeah..I always caught myself sitting in your office, just to feel your presence without actually being in it, knowing I'd ruin it by snapping at you. I'd also notice how jealous I got when I saw you with other girls, I felt like I was going crazy," I giggled, noticing the big grin forming on his face.
"Jealous huh? So my plans did work," a slow, satisfied smile spread across his chiselled features as he listened to my confession, his eyes darkening with a hunger he's been trying to suppress. He leaned in closer, his lips inches from mine, his hot breath caressing my skin, "And now, are you still shutting your feelings down, or has that changed?" he whispered, looking into my eyes.
"It's changed...." I murmured softly. He closed the remaining distance, capturing my lips in a searing kiss. His hands roamed my body possessively, pulling me onto his lap as he deepens the kiss.
He broke away for a second, his voice husky as he growled, "you don't know how long i've wanted this, you, your touch..." I whined, pulling him back into a passionate, urgent kiss.
His fingers tangled in my hair, his tongue demanding entrance. He groaned in delight, pulling me closer and revelling in the feeling of having me in his arms at last. This was nothing like the hate sex we had, it was always quick, rough and to the point, only caring about our own pleasure.
But this, this was sensual, intimate, steamy and kind of romantic. I had never seen this side of Tom and was glad he brought it out, letting me experience proper intimacy after months of being neglected of it.
He cupped my face with his free hand, holding me in place as he showered me with kisses. He breathed in deeply, savouring the moment between the two of us. "I've always wanted to be with you like this, no anger or hatred, just pure passion. Now, get up and strip for me, I want to see your beautiful body, ok?" he smiled gently, a smile that told me it'd be ok, that he'd look after me.
I nodded and swiftly got up, slowly taking my robe off, revealing my small pyjama set. I slowly slipped off my silk pyjama shirt off, revealing my breasts to him. His breath hitched as he saw me, his eyes darkening with desire as he watched me undress, his gaze drinking in every inch of my exposed skin.
He takes in the sight of my pert nipples, the curve of my breasts and the delicate swell of my stomach, his mouth watering at the thought of tasting me.
Finally, I got to my pyjama shorts, slipping them off, revealing my lacey panties. His gaze fixates on the panties, the outline of my sex just barely visible beneath. He swallowed hard, tying to control his desire as his cock throbs painfully in his pants, "come here.." he said, his voice shaky.
I smriked and slowly walked back to him, sitting back down on his lap and pressing my lips to his. He almost immediately kisses me back, his hands gripping my waist tightly as he pulls me closer, how growing arousal pressing against my bare thigh.
He grinds his hips up, creating friction between our bodies and moans against our lips. "Oh Tom..." I whined softly, kissing him hungrily, grinding with him, my pussy getting more wet by the minute.
He can feel my wetness seeping through my panties and onto his pants, driving him wild. With a growl, he breaks the kiss and stands up, lifting me up with him. He quickly slid the things off his desk and onto the floor, setting me down.
His eyes roamed over my body, lingering on my bare breasts and the drenched lace of my panties, "I need to taste you.." he mumbled, getting onto his knees in front of me, moving his head in between my legs.
He reached for my panties, pulling them down and off of me in one swift motion. He tossed them aside and spread my legs apart, his gaze fixated on my wetness. "Fuck, you're soaked.." he said, his voice low.
"Please.." I whimpered, looking down at him with furrowed eyebrows. He chuckled and leaned in, his tongue snaking out to taste my sopping cunt.
I moaned softly as he lapped at me, his hands gripping my thighs and pulling me closer to him. He feasts on me like a man starved, his tongue exploring every inch of my pussy.
"Oh fuck!" I gasped, rolling my eyes back as I felt the pleasure shoot through my body. He groaned against my pussy, his tongue delving deeper as he tasted me fully.
His fingers find their way to my clit, rubbing slow circles around it as he continued to eat me out. Then he switched places, moving his lips to my clit and fingers to my hole, teasingly torturing me.
"Mmmmh...you taste so good.." he grunted, gripping my hips tightly, holding me in place as he eats me out. His tongue flicked back and forth over my clit as his fingers pumped into me slowly, he could feel me getting close, my legs shaking and my moans getting louder.
His fingers moved faster in me, curling at my g spot and sending shock waves throughout my body, I gripped onto the desk tightly, my knuckles going white as I felt my orgasm getting closer.
"You gonna cum baby, hm? I can feel it...your tight pussy quivering against me.." he smirked, wrapping his lips around my clit and sucking hard. I couldn't form words, only letting out little sounds of approval.
He doubled his efforts, suctioning my clit with his lips while plunging his fingers deep inside me. The combination of his tongue and fingers push me over the edge, making me cum with a loud cry, my pussy spasming around his fingers.
"Good girl.." he chuckled, sliding his tongue down to my slit and collecting every bit of juice I left for him, not wasting a single drop. He slowly rose his head to meet mine, his chin covered in my cum, glistening in the dim light.
He leaned closer, pressing a soft, tender kiss to my lips, letting me taste myself. He slowly moved down to my neck, placing soft kisses, then down to my chest, where he met my tits, his hands cupping them and squeezing gently.
"You have amazing tits, the best I've ever seen," he whispered, gently kissing my nipples as he latched onto them, sucking gently, the sensation driving me crazy. I wrapped my and around the back of his head, pulling him in closer, completely stuffing his face with my breasts.
"Y'know, I could die like this and I would never complain," he murmured against my tits, "oh really? Is that supposed to turn me on?" I bursted out laughing, he just rolled his eyes playfully and kept sucking on my tits.
His tongue slowly swirled around my sensitive buds, I could feel my pussy throb with each movement he made, his touch driving me crazy. "You want my cock baby, hm? It's aching for you.." he grinned, looking up at me, he grinded his hips against mine, rubbing his hard, clothed cock against my bare pussy, causing a delicious friction that has him moaning softly against my skin.
"Oh god yes..please.." I gasped, my hands reaching down to his pants, trying to tug them down. He smirked, stepping back from my grasping hands, taking the opportunity to remove his pants and boxers all at once. He tossed them aside and returns to me, his cock standing tall. He takes my hands in his, placing them on his shaft.
"Tom..." I looked up at him, slowly moving my hands with his, watching as his face contorted in pleasure. He leaned down, his lips meeting mine in a passionate kiss. He moaned into my mouth as I stroked his cock, his hands wandering to my breasts again.
His moans grew louder as I started to stroke him faster, my hands moving up and down on his slicked cock. His hands roughly grabbed my breasts, pinching my nipples between his fingers, "mmh!" I whined, feeling my cunt ache for him.
"So good..keep going.." he groaned, I used my other hand to grab one of his hands, "let's do it together.." I looked up at him, his eyes lit up at the idea, immediately moving towards my entrance. He shoved 2 fingers in, curling them to hit my sensitive spot again.
"Mmmh! Oh fuck!" I gasped, arching my back from his thrusts, with a low growl, Tom picked up the pace of his fingers, plunging in and out of me, harder and faster. My shaky hands jerked him off at lightning speed. He reached his thumb up to my clit, rubbing gentle circles on it, grinding his hips against my hand, chasing his own release as he finger fucks me relentlessly.
"Fuck!" he yelled out, his thrusts becoming more erratic as his own climax approached, his digits moving in and out of me at a rapid pace, "Tom! Holy shit!" I moaned loudly, pumping his shaft even more, feeling his cock throb in my hands.
He leans over, panting in my ear as he whispers, "oh baby, I want you to cum for me. Cum all over my fingers.." I nodded, whining and screwing my eyes shut, my pace never faltering on his cock, only getting harder and faster.
His balls tightened just as my pussy tightened around his fingers, signalling our orgasms in sync with each other. With one last pump of his cock and one last thrust in my sopping pussy we both came, our releases crashing down, he groaned and came all over my stomach, as I came all over his fingers.
Tom removed his fingers, bringing them to his lips and tasting my release with a devilish smirk. He then proceeds to scoop up the cum on my stomach with his fingers, offering it to me, "open up baby, I want you to taste me," he smirked, I gladly accepted them, gently sucking on his fingers, groaning at the taste of his cum.
After resting for a bit he finally spoke up, "god, I need to be inside you, I need you so bad..." he mumbled, pulling back and looking into my eyes. I nodded in approval, letting him pick me up from the desk.
He sat down on his desk chair, pulling me into his lap, our naked bodies flush against each other. His semi hard cock pressed against my thigh, he nuzzled my neck, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine.
"Are you ready princess?" he looked up at me, his eyes full of love. I gently nodded, hovering over his lap, watching his cock come back to life again, he smirked, grinding the tip of his cock in between my folds.
"Don't tease..." I spoke through gritted teeth, reaching down and grabbing his cock, slowly sitting down on it, the inches engulfing my pussy all at once. As he was fully in he shuddered in pleasure, holding my hips tightly.
He threw his head back in pleasure, his fingers digging into the flesh of my hips as he guides me up and down on his cock. The feeling of my tight pussy wrapped around him is almost too much to bear, "fuck...so good.." he murmered, thrusting up into my cunt. "Hold onto me baby, I won't go easy on you," he chuckled, moving my hands from his chest and around his neck.
I moved closer into his chest, resting my head on his shoulder as he started to piston his cock into me, hitting the right angles straight away. "Mmmm, that's it, just like that. Take my cock deep, squeeze it with that tight fucking cunt.." he growled lowly in my ear, as he started to thrust into me with more force, slamming his shaft into me with each upward stroke.
"Fuck!" I whined, planting sloppy kisses on his neck, hitting sensitive spots, causing him to moan lowly and fuck me harder, his cock pounding into me with all it's might.
He slides his hands up my back, gripping my shoulders and starting to pull me down onto his cock, fucking me harder with each thrust, his tip hitting my cervix, driving me crazy with all the pleasure I was getting just from his cock.
"Yesss! Fuck!" I whined, throwing my head back, my back arching to meet his thrusts. He grunted, his hips snapping to meet mine with increasing ferocity, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room rapidly.
I felt tension build up in my stomach, tightening into a huge knot. "I'm close Tom, don't stop!" I gasped, my hands resting on his shoulders, digging into them as his cock kept ramming into me.
"Yeah that's it, cum on my cock baby. You're gonna make me cum so hard inside you.." he chuckled darkly, "you like that huh? You like feeling my cock deep inside of you?" he smirked, leaning forward to suck and bite at my neck, leaving love bites as sovenirs.
"Yes! Yes, I love it Tom!" I cried out, stray tears dripping down my cheeks as the pleasure became almost too much. He grabbed my hips with more force, lifting me up and slamming me back down on his cock with reckless abandon, almost painfully hard and fast.
"Yessss! Oh my god!" I screamed out in pleasure, rolling my eyes back as I felt my orgasm approach quickly, my pussy starting to wrap around his cock like a snake, tightening around it.
With one last hard slam my orgasm exploded, loud moans coming from my mouth as my juices spilled all over his cock. The feeling of my cunt clamping down on his cock sent him into oblivion, slamming into me one last time and shooting his load deep in me, "fuck!" he yelped, sitting me back down on his lap.
"Oh my god.." I panted, collapsing onto his chest, my chest heaving up and down, trying to calm down from my third orgasm, my body weak on his. "Oh you did so well baby...'m so proud.." he kissed my neck gently, giving me reassuring words, nothing like he used to do.
He gently collected my hair, grabbing a hairtie off my wrist and pulling it back, brushing stray hairs from my face and tilting my chin to look up at him. He chuckled at my exhausted state, my eyes droopy and dry tears staining my face.
"Even when you're a mess you're still beautiful.." he smiled gently, kissing the tip of my nose and letting me nuzzle back into his neck. After a while of resting I popped my head up, "why were you actually struggling so much?" he paused, hesitating before sighing. "cause I couldn't stop thinking about you..." he admitted.
"That's it? I thought you were in trouble Tom, you had me worried," I sighed in relief, "no no, none of the sort, I just would always catch myself daydreaming about you, forgetting the paperwork for hours just because I was thinking of you," he blushed, embarassed to admit all of this.
"Don't be embarrassed!" I giggled, "I like to think you were thinking about me," I smirked, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "Why don't we turn this marriage around, start over again," he gently caressed my cheek, "of course, I'd love that.." I rested my face back into his neck, enjoying the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around me.
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tags: @itsmealaiah @itsangelll @ballhair
tags: @kaulitzswhxre @kaulitzsbabyy @miyukafujii
tags: @tomsonlyslut @bkaulitzlover @bills-wife-1
tags: @20doozers @ella1289 @pa1n-0f-l0ve
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