#i wish we could talk like we used to
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Because “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve - Jesus, does anyone?”
Do you think we’re friends in every universe?
We barely met in this one
But you’re in every new person I see and
I think about you daily
I miss how close we had become
I wish you weren’t so far
I hope I know the sound of your voice
I hope it hasn’t changed
I know we’ve grown up a lot since then, but
at least you still look the same
So if not in every universe
Then at least in every five years
I’ll meet you in the riverbeds
And in my salty lonely tears
I’ve met you on the moon at night
And in that song in the rain
What wouldn’t I give
To go back in years
And do it all again
to crawl around in corridors
and share top-bunk beds
And when I meet you soon in January
Perhaps we’ll see those girls again
#poems#isn't it about old friends? like everything? all of it?#creative writing#i miss you#i dont even know what i'm looking for because I barely I had it in the first place#i barely survived#and i'm glad i did#even if it was difficult#even if it still is#even if i still feel lonely even now#i'm glad i met you#i'm glad for it all#i wish you the best for always#i hope you wish it for me too#i wish we talked more#i wish that what we planned made it out of our messages#i wish i knew that you wanted to be my friend as much as I want you to be mine#i wish we could talk like we used to#i wish that i didn't feel like i bothered you when i did#even though that's not fair to you#so yeah#i miss you and i hope it's okay to say that
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There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺
#listen im only in episode two and i know there's some drama going down but im focusing on this lol#i love that not only do they show the angel using a wheelchair and being ambulatory#but they also visibly show them miracling innaccessibility issues so that they Can still use the chair#instead of just getting rid of the disability#part of my is conflicted bc im like... there's disabilities in heaven? and that makes Me sad bc my disability is hell and painful as fuck#But getting rid of disability in fantasy is eugenist crap and showing that god made a disabled angel is a net good thing#while it personally makes me sad to think if there was a heaven i could still be in pain all the time#not all disabilites are bad and need to be cured we're a wide spectrum and we've been fighting for disabled rep esp in fantasy for ages#it's objectively good my personal feelings about my own disability aside#part of me thinks it's cliche to say 'you were made perfect' bc they're an angel But it's not we literally havent had this type of rep lol#anyways it made me happy to see#and im so glad it's a power chair user that's ambulatory it's important for abled ppl to see that#anyways y'all keep your drama and spoilers off my post im not far in and im only talking about this shoo#oh also!! love the fantasy hover chair they use in heaven specifically too i wish we had that it kicks ass#p
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
#ganondoodles talks#personal#rare personal rant#theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced#like man#i thought being different was the whole point#like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing#yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu#climate? ethic? whats that#argh#sorry this needed to get out#recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on#and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time#like that last thing especially pissed me tf off#but i cant afford to lose this job#im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real#i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man#i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that#but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me
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I do want to say that I feel a but relieved that it was not suicide per say(as it looks like till now) , most likely a drug overdose case gone wrong here. With this, atleast I feel Liam was not actively trying to end things for himself in a way.. it is accidental but all more tragic that it could be prevented if people used their brains!
learning that made me feel better too... but then also worse... but then better again... like it's all just fucking terrible. In the end it does make me feel better that he wasn't suffering that acutely in that way in that moment, that was really so horrific to imagine and live with, and of course for the people in his actual life who survive him the guilt would have been unbearable. I do feel better ever since I, also, reached that conclusion from reading about what happened. But also... he didn't want to die, he wanted to stay around and keep doing things and trying. And he's gone. And that's just so tragic and fucking useless. I let spotify Get me earlier with their 'remember Liam' playlist and listening to him say "I want to get better" and "I want to be a better man" in song after song.... it's crushing. I wanted that for him too, for him to have that chance. There are so many ways things could have been better for him, but now all of those possibilities are just... dead. It's just garbage, I hate death and people dying and I'm really honestly just fucking sick of it.
#cw death details#and yeah.... yet another person dead of drug use and stigma#I can't stop thinking about how#I spent so many hours and hours over years talking to people about the things we wanted for Liam#the ways his life could be better#the things we'd like to see happen and we'd want to see him focus on instead of what he was#that we thought would bring him more happiness and allow him to ...be okay#and for what where did all that care and love go what good did it do#so many people so many hours of care and hope sent into the world.... and it doesn't feel like it did any good#so much love wasted I wish we could have made him feel strong#strong enough to be the better man he knew he wanted to be#on a lighter note. did yall know/ remember that liam uses the lyric 'I only got two eyes'😂#like its a liam song so obviously it's in a sad and worrisome context but still lmao
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I dislike the fact that no emotional weight on megumi's side was given to nobara's death. Like she's one of his first friends he ever lets down his walls with, the first person he bonds over because of their mutual friend's "death" and they both quietly grieve together over him, he constantly worries about her safety first whenever they're in danger and she's his first priority whenever fighting, he's one of the people that got a chair in her life, yet we get ... Nothing? We just assume he had a reaction off-screen and then it's just brushed off? I know he had his sister to worry about, but i would've really liked if we got any sort of comment about her from him.
#like. THE CONNECTION IS THERE.#i love their friendship its so underrated :(#but gege refused to give us anything on their side#like the emotional sort of talk they had about yuuji's 'death' is one of my favorite scenes#i wish we had more of them connecting#cause now it just seems like he never cared about her#which doesnt line up with events prior#like. hello?#we never got that much of a reaction with yuuji mentioninf her later either#he says “dont be stupid”#which i guess could mean “don't be stupid. nobody could ever replace nobara for us”#but still bro#give us mors#fushiguro megumi#kugisaki nobara
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I think if Anders didn't talk about Justice like he's some crazed animal, a friend he once knew and never will again that turned evil, if he didn't discount Justice as still a person, if there was some kind of direct dialogue between them... Justice would be far more reasonable in the heat of the moment, and he would probably go Murder Mode less often and he and Anders would have co-control of their body instead of fighting each other for the wheel constantly. I think Hawke (in a romance with them) should help them figure this out. Especially a mage Hawke. Justice isn't just going to go away, Anders needs to accept that vengeance has always been a part of Justice, and there's never a time when it won't be. Like he himself says "Justice is righteous. Justice is hard."
#dragon age 2#da2#handers#justice and anders#anders#justice#and I know anders says he can't have a conversation with justice#but i feel like they could at least talk to each other in their thoughts?#it seems pretty dang obvious that despite them sharing a mind and body- they're still two separate entities#you can tell in a scene when anders is the one speaking and when justice has taken the wheel#it just keeps making me think of eddie and venom in venom 2 tbh#just the moment if 'we are symbiotic and that's what makes us strong enough to do this'#anders and justice need a moment like that#i really wish they could have a conversation#even if they have to do that through Hawke passing messages between them or something#they need couples therapy
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TG: do you think former president ronald reagan smacks rats
EB: sssmacks…rats?
TG: yah do you reckon he smacks rats
EB: oh yeah he TOTALLY smacks rodents—what in GOD’S NAME are we talking about
#submission#homestuck#incorrect homestuck quotes#dave strider#john egbert#mod terezi#i'm with john here but i totally agree that reagan smacks rats#but only if that is meant as an insult#anyways i'm bopping to rush rn i kinda wish music on the radio wasn't so regimented#sometimes i wanna go from ajr's karma to rush's freewill to heart's barracuda and back to lil nas x's old town road#the media could stand to be a little more eclectic and delineated is all i'm saying#it's not gonna kill anyone if we have some fucking variety that makes no sense to the advertisers#but exposes people to enriching experiences that they may not have experienced otherwise#like a while ago i was talking with mod kanaya and they've never heard of blue oyster cult before#and i was like wtf you need to listen to it#if only the once for no other reason than just for something you've never heard before#maybe i should start a vinyl collection and do amateur djing out of my room#anyways if you're following us and are under the age of twenty go listen to blue oyster cult right fucking meow#this is my one command to you
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Funniest non-character part of the dndads show in Indianapolis was their surprise at the lack of Indy pride
#wish I could remember the exact quote but everyone kinda going ‘ehhh’#and Anthony calling out someone doing a so-so hand wobble in the front row#in response to us being the greatest city in the world was so funny#and then him immediately being like ‘well I was lying anyways’#it’s okay anthony. we knew you were lying as soon as you said it and we appreciated the good ol college try#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the areas tour#white weasel talks
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gay son 🤝 mildly fruity mother 🤝 thirsting over bikeriders promo in preparation for giggling like schoolgirls in the theatre together
#i'm so excited for thursday for the movie in general but also bc we're gonna pee ourselves trying to be Normal#if young closeted gay zero relationship with his mother sam could see how we talk now he'd pass out cold LOL#the joys of growing up and moving out and healing mother–son relationships with the power of Distance amen#also sometimes i wish so badly she knew how to use tumblr bc she talks like all of us half the time. she'd Thrive here lmfaoo#johnslittlespoon yaps#okay back to writing for REAL for real smh#LMAO just realized this was my 666th post. perfect
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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2011 British gp Fernando is such a mood...
#okay now obviously i could make a super accurate actual version of this using a wider variety of pics#but i found it so funny that all of these are literally from one day#and hes exhibiting every stage of grief and expression known to mankind#there was literally almost 50 pics just from this one day at this specific time#thank you to whichever ferrari photographer this was 🙏#(i feel like we dont really get pictures like this so much nowadays?)#(or at least not the sheer amount?)#(but i feel like i dont really have any pics of him from recently just chilling in the garage)#(i loveeeee the candids!! so cute to see the drivers just in their 'natural habitat' and also great for ref)#(but yeah idk i think i like photography from this era better)#(i remember reading an interview w a photographer who talked about how fernando was willing to let him take more candid pics)#(and i wonder if it was a more novel thing back then? and now its a lot more content based and performative? idk.)#anyways!! sooooooo obsessed w the amnt of pics of fernando chilling in his garage from the ferrari era#literally thousands of them and im so endeared!!!!#i wonder what was going on in this practice session for there to be so many pics of him incredulous 😭😭#i wish I could just post all the pics from this compilation bcs hes soooooo adorable but also very memey#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#fa14#2011 british gp#we do a little bit of f1
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me talking to my flatmate yesterday: "hey i saw you've been using my frying pan quite often, you can use it but could you please wash it right after that? because lately every time i want to use it it's lying dirty with dried food that i can't clean right away :(" to which she was like yeah sure sorry
and right now i come back from uni and want to make myself dinner and you can probably guess the state of my frying pan
#i brought from home a pan a pot and two bowls#she keeps using ALL of them and leaving them like that#but with pan it's especially annoying because there's only one small one#i kept pouring water into it and putting it in a sink so the dried food would come off and later i could clean and use it#but i have yet to be able to do that#because i put it in the sink filled with water in the morning but in the evening when im back it's back lying dirty on the oven :((#and im the kind of person who's scared to ask people to do something when it's bothering me like in this case#so it was already a lot that i actually talked to her about it yesterday#but it was all for nothing and now i don't know what to do 🫠#not to mention her cat walks all over my stuff when im not home and also the litter box smells so bad because she doesn't clean it T^T#initially i was only a bit jealous when she moved in (because she's my roommate's best friend aka friend higher in hierarchy than me)#but now im starting to genuinely dislike her because of those living conditions she brought#im a calm in nature and over-polite person and it's killing me inside#ij wish i could just go and make myself clear that i do NOT want that and it's not up for discussion#with my roommate i also had some BAD situations but this is so much worse#because she's not my friend so she doesn't care and doesn't want to talk with me about it#after i talked with roommie and we both said what bothers us in each other and we established rules and boundaries it got SO much better#but this one feels like a hopeless case it's like im trying to have a conversation with someone standing the other way
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today we learned far too much information about our family, including receiving family trees we didn't know existed.
most interesting part is probably that one of our great-grandfathers was most likely an orthodox jew in brooklyn! he lost faith after some big financial loss and moved away from the community and judaism, which is probably why our grandmother (who was 5 at the time) was very much not-jewish (she was jewish, but didn't keep kosher, go to synagogue, etc.) and why our dad ended up the same way.
some people cling to traditions and community and religion in the face of struggle, and others... reject it. and that's what our great-grandfather and grandmother and father did. i think we'd like to do the opposite.
#jewish#jumblr#actually jewish#meanwhile our mother's side of the family is incredibly jewish#whereas we've only ever known our father's side as the non-religious or religion-hating ones#our great aunt unfortunately had alzheimer's by the time we knew her so we couldn't hear many stories from her#but our mother told us that she used to talk about shabbat as a child and i wish we could have asked her what that was like.#a piece of history gone forever
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yknow i really really try to see where people are coming from, usually. as in i try to understand why they do the things they do. but. when it comes to my country's politicians. i just can't seem to figure out how a person can disregard human life so much. like man it's one thing when you look at monarchs centuries ago who literally did not understand that other people are just like them bc they were born to think so, but these politicians supposedly all started as normal people, yet it feels like they don't see anyone but themselves, and that's just insane to me. like i have met selfish or self centered people in my life but never at this level. i can't comprehend this. they are literally like evil cartoon villains it's actually insane
#not even talking abt the racism or homophobia here#genuinely how they disregard like. all citizens. including people like them including their own voters. they see all of us as disposable#it's insane to me that ppl still vote for them too actually but eh racists will vote for racists#and some ppl think we need a ~strong leader~ and unfortunately they are stupid so they think this guy who can give good speeches is enough#but see even stupidity i can sort of get. but our politicians are both stupid (well. most of them) AND inhumanly selfish#which is why this is so despair inducing. literally nothing anyone would say or so could get to them. bc they don't see us as people#even the fucking. un can't threaten them (bc lbr the ones getting punished are the citizens. again)#genuinely the only solution is murder. for legal reasons this is a joke. good evening shabak agents i am a satire account etc#this is so upsetting i can't think abt the situation in this country without feeling doomed#and this is only one layer of it too. everything here sucks so much. i wish i was born somewhere else ugh#politics //#vent#kinda?????#ask to tag
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feeling a little crazy for wanting a shred of recognition in my district 🤪
#when they moved everyone around they stuck me and one other store with a bunch of concessions#like nordstrom and bloomingdale’s#and they treat us like we don’t exist lmao#and all our conference calls are catered to them#and idk !!! we had a huge day yesterday and i was so proud#and the woman doing the morning only gave a shoutout to concessions that made their numbers yesterday :’)#sorry to complain about work all the time i just hate feeling invisible#at our conference last month one of the concessions managers asked if i was new bc she hadn’t seen me before#like i literally talk on our calls every week lmao wdym????#wish we could still be in districts separated by channels 🥲
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Slightly inspired by a post I saw, just thought it'd be fun to write these out and well.. here we are!! This is the place for sharing it, haha! But I thought it'd be silly/cute to write about Finn and Axlerod's feelings about calling me husband/partner/spouse/etc..
I feel like for Finn it wouldn't be too big of a hurdle. If anything he was waiting and hoping for this day. But that isn't to say that the first couple times he says it he will perhaps get a little red in the cheeks and say the word ever so slightly quieter. After he gets a bit more used to saying it he's probably casually mentioning it every five seconds. I won't even be introduced with my name anymore, I'll just be known as his spouse. Not that we have that many people we are introducing ourselves to, but it won't stop him from telling the person at the flowershop or bakery or chippy shops whether I'm around him at the moment or not. It's probably his new favorite word now.
Axlerod is probably far less composed about it, he probably fumbles over his words a little bit and freezes up. The very few moments that he has to say it to someone and keep his composure up he is FIGHTING for it. Immediately turning around the next corner and deflating. It eventually gets a bit easier on him but, uncharacteristic or not, he just gets so giddy over it and too many butterflies in his stomach to be able to hold himself. Again, not that there's that many people we are introducing ourselves to, but he probably backtracks and just fumbles out a "-mine- he's- he's mine." One of the few times you'll see him falter and waver a little bit.
Bonus mention of me attempting to call them my husband. I say it fine on my blog and perhaps even every now and then over text but I will trip over my own two feet if I have to say it out loud! Sometimes just typing it out if it's directly to someone else I'm like. Ohh boy. I'm really saying these words huh. But like. In a splendid heart melting way. My cheeks don't really get red with blush but boy do I have my own other personal signs of being flustered.
#i like using the color texts so much#i just so so wish the purple wasnt so hard to read if you have a tumblr theme that makes the posts not white#part of me feels as though i could go into even greater detail#and i mean. it's me we are talking about I probably could#but I just wanted to get this out cause i thought it was such a fuzzy thought!!#I wanted to make mine purple but. see first written tags.#Finn🩶💙#Axlerod💚💙#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping
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