#i wish to share what comes before this but i also know it will be a long time before i finish the fic so i don't want to publish a wip
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"Your girl" - Part 14 | The Salesman x Reader
Summary: Life with him is really good...Right?
Warnings: dead dove do not eat, kidnapping, mentions of sexual abuse and other traumatic events in the past, numbness, helplessness, violence, threatening, mentions of blood, mentions of murder/gore/death, body issues, trauma talk, stockholm syndrome, forced relationship, unhealthy relationship, depression, manipulation and low self-esteem, mentions of sexual activities, loss of identity, threatening, penetration, breeding kink, degradation kink, cockwarming, edging, overstimulation, sleepy sex (both consent!), not beta-read, if I've missed any warnings or tags please tell me! mdni 18+!
"Your girl" - The Salesman x Reader Masterlist
Life was good.
Uncharacteristically so even.
There was still a tiny part of you that was tense around him and that was for various reasons. One of them being, that you never really knew when his evil persona would take over. So far you could tell, albeit roughly, but there were always moments, when he would simply snap and there was nothing you could do about it. Was that a problem? Probably, but not to you, anyways. Why? Because life was good.
The little trip to the balcony hadn’t been a one-time thing. In fact, it happened more and more regular. Not only to get naughty, because he was a freak, who liked the thought of possibly getting caught – but also because, as he said, you’ve been such a good girl for me all this time. And I told you, sweet girl, I don’t want to keep you locked away. I just needed to make sure you’re mine.
That you were. Quite obviously.
That one time when you told him you wanted to leave, it had been exactly that. One time. The reasons for that outburst were in the past so far. There were still moments when you feared punishment and rightfully so. But to your great relief, you were both learning.
You were learning not to expect a painful blow, whenever you went out of your way to speak your mind (which wasn’t quite as often as you wished, but you were getting there). Slow and steady.
And he? He was learning, too. He was learning to leave you be and control the wild beast that lived inside his mind and soul. The darkness that surrounded him became lighter every day or so it felt to you. Of course he wouldn’t let you downright insult him, without at least some punishment in sight. But he was working on himself and his behavior. He didn’t hurt you without a reason. He didn’t hurt severely. And on some lucky days, he didn’t hurt you at all.
Slow and steady.
What was probably the greatest part of it all, it felt like a relationship. A real one. Two people who shared a life together, doing all kinds of things, sharing an intimate relation, but most importantly, you talked.
You talked a lot.
And now it wasn’t only through games and the fear of punishment. It wasn’t even only you who was forced to talk. No, he talked as well. The important things were still a big issue, obviously. He didn’t have a name, an identity or a past, when it came to you. But you had the great, undying hope that one day he would trust you. Trust you enough to let you know who he was and where he came from, what made him who he was and what was truly important to him.
Sometimes you’d get those tiny, little flickers that shone through his façade, his tight mask. The moments when the look in his eyes became faraway and distant, when his voice became softer and the tension in his body gave way to something quiet. Maybe one day that would be the version of him that you would get. Entirely and without question. Without the filter to rule out his emotions for him.
Until then, though, you would make do with what you had. And what did you have?
His favorite movie? The good, the bad and the ugly. What a question. Actually, anything with Clint Eastwood in it. Haven’t you seen the man?
His favorite musician? Ennio Morricone. Did you watch that scene in Inglourious Basterds, right before the Bear Jew comes out of the cave? That scene – and that composition – it’s reason enough to watch the movie. Aside from all the Nazis getting burned, of course.
His favorite food? Tteokbokki. But they have to be spicy enough to make your tongue fall off.
You smirked to yourself as you stood by the stove, slowly stirring the rice cakes in a black pan. He was talking movies all the time and that was a language you understood well.
In a minute you needed to add the spices and that disturbingly hot, red sauce. It was something you had cooked before, back in England. You had been scrolling aimlessly through one of your countless apps, which you normally used so you wouldn’t have to think and there you found some recipe that had been viral for a while. A Korean recipe with rice cakes in a sauce, topped with sesame and green onions. It had been quite the ordeal to find rice cakes back where you lived, but when you finally did and you tasted the recipe you had so carefully and lovingly prepared, you found it was worth it. It had actually been the first step into the life you were now living.
South-Korea, you had thought. Why not?
You poured the sauce in and wanted to try it, but decided against it in the end. You’d spend the next hour trying to soothe the pain in your mouth with bread and milk. With a soft sigh, you turned off the stove and served the food on two plates. You set the table with the gentle precision of a lovely homemaker. Even the napkins were folded prettily, giving the whole scene the last touch it needed to come off as…thoughtful.
Of course you never mentioned to him that you knew the dish. He had mostly likely thought it was just another Korean word he threw around and you’d forget immediately. And you had made no attempts to make him believe differently. So, when you began to cook this, it was with the intention to surprise him. A short glance at the clock showed you that it was almost ten in the evening, so he would most likely be home soon.
Home. What an odd thought.
You sighed again and washed your hands. A lecture you had to learn only once before in your life – spicy food didn’t quite match well with eyes.
You glanced around the kitchen once more, half-expecting him to be late. After he luckily gave you the books back, you asked yourself if you should go and read something, until he arrived, but that question answered itself, the moment you heard the door creak open. A nervous smile grew on your face and you nibbled on your lower lip. For some reason, a part of you was still afraid. A tiny bit, at least. It was like you expected him to punish you for good things. For being affectionate or caring.
But the moment you saw his head perk through the door, you knew you wouldn’t get punished tonight. Well, at least not, until you gave him a reason to…or asked him to.
His face lit up in surprised delight, his brows furrowed in a mixture of disbelief and confusion.
“Hello?” He murmured as he stepped closer and set the briefcase down on a chair. Your smile grew somewhat and you folded your hands behind your back.
“Hey.” You took a step closer and tilted your head to the side. “I made dinner.”
“I can see that.” He glanced at the lovely decorated kitchen table. You had put in quite some effort, looking through all the drawers until you found a tablecloth, lit some candles and then there was his favorite food. He looked from the table to you and smiled.
“And what exactly did I do to deserve this?” He raised a brow in suspicion. You returned the smile.
“I just felt like it.”
“So, you know Tteokbokki!”
You laughed quietly. “We’ll see about that. You should try it first.”
He hummed softly and stepped closer. You expected him to head for the sink and wash his hands, which he most definitely would, but before that, he stepped close to you, so close that you felt the warmth radiating off him and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. Then your cheek and then your lips.
You closed eyes and leaned into the kiss, immediately aching for more. But a second later he pulled his head back and smiled again.
“I just know I’m going to love it. Thank you.”
You felt yourself blush and so you averted your gaze. He finished up getting ready and then pulled out your chair for you, like the gentleman he was, or well, he could be.
The both of you settled down and you kept a keen eye on him to check his reaction, the second he brought the fork to his lips. You half-expected him to recoil in disgust, but instead, his brows furrowed and he hummed in approval.
“This is perfect.”
You scoffed in amusement. “Stop bullshitting me.”
“No, I mean it. It’s perfectly spicy, just the way I like it. And it’s homemade. Do you know how much that me-“ He stopped himself and cleared his throat. The filter. “I really love it. Thank you.” He squeezed your hand under the table.
You smiled again and leaned back in your chair, taking a moment to simply watch him eat.
When he saw you were staring at him, he cocked a brow. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“Now it’s you bullshitting me, huh?”
That made you laugh. God, how beautiful this was. Just simple, plain banter. Back and forth, like normal couples shared. You loved it.
You loved him.
When you laughed, a cocky grin grew on his face. “Mhm. I still have it in me, don’t I?”
You smirked. “Oh, shut up. For an old man.”
His grin widened and he picked up the fork, bringing it to your lips. Wordlessly, you parted them and took the food in your mouth. It was painful, of course, but you tried to keep a strong façade. And failed.
He laughed and held out a glass with milk to you, of which you took a big, grateful sip.
“Why are you making it, if you can’t even eat it?”
“You like it.”
He hummed softly. “And you remembered.”
“It’s not that hard. I collect the few things I know about you like postage stamps.”
He snorted. “Oh, so now we collect stamps, do we?”
You grinned cheekily and gently nudged his shoulder. “Eat your abnormal spicy food and shush.”
He shot you another smirk and eyed you up and down for a moment. It left you feeling oddly comfortable.
“You’re beautiful.” He mumbled before he took another bite. Your brows shot up and you titled your head to the side. You were better now, when it came to this. Compliments and accepting them. After all, he had no reason to lie to you whatsoever, now, did he?
“Thank you. But why are you saying that?” Not as good as you thought, but better.
He brows furrowed. “And why wouldn’t I?”
You shrugged and he shot you a long, suspicious look. “I’m not taking it back.”
That made you laugh again. He sounded like petulant child and you loved him even more when he was like this. Just…easy.
Easy to love.
“Why are you laughing at me?” He joined your laughter.
You smirked and took another sip of your milk. “If you can’t tell, it’s already too late.”
Days passed, weeks even, and life was still good. Very much so.
Every now and then you would ask yourself, when will things take a dark turn again? You couldn’t help yourself. These first few weeks were stuck in your mind like a nightmare you hardly remembered and yet felt in every inch of your body. Even when you didn’t...
Your body remembered.
He had that in him. That dark, that evil. It would undoubtedly come out again at some point. That’s why you always tried to remind yourself, not to dive too deep into what you called your perfect world. At some point, you’d surely be in pain again.
Though, you had to admit, you were hardly in pain nowadays. Your mysterious man was a gentle man, when he wanted to be and that happened more and more these days. Whenever he came home, he’d make a habit of kissing you and asking you about your day. His smile came out, more and more often. On very rare occasions, when you got really lucky, you even heard him laugh. And not the mock-kind of laugh he’d have so well-rehearsed in his repertoire of masks, he had for the world to see, but the real kind. A sound so unbridled and genuine, so warm and endearing, it made something inside of you ache. Why was it so rare?
Of course he still hurt you sometimes, but that was more of a consented kind of thing. In most cases.
Whenever he decided it was time for you to cockwarm him, for example. God, you hated, when he did. Because you loved it.
You loved the feeling of having him inside you on any occasion, really. Sometimes he’d be reading the newspaper and have you on his lap, his free hand on your hip to hold you perfectly still. You always asked yourself, how on earth did he manage to read like that, without even cocking an eye brow, while you were nearly fainting in agony, because all you wanted was for him to move?
On other nights, and you were ashamed to admit how much you enjoyed it, you’d even sleep like that. You’d lay either facing away or facing him, but often clenched around him. He’d nuzzle his face in your hair and after a while he’d usually drift off like that, his breathing slowly soothing down to a soft sound. Sometimes, when he’d wake up in the middle of the night, you felt him move and grind his hips against yours, giving you the friction you so desperately desired. Sometimes it happened quickly, sometimes it took a few hours and sometimes it didn’t happen at all. But when it did and when it did take hours to get to that point, you’d normally be half-asleep and yet desperate. The second you felt him move inside you, it was as though a switch got flipped. You became needy and…
Wicked.
For you, it didn’t matter how many times he fucked you. How many times he made you cum. When you felt him like that, you needed him. Ardently.
But in most cases you managed to be good for him, just like he asked you to. Good and perfectly still. When you did, you got rewarded. Which, in most cases, consisted of him going down on you and making you feel things with his tongue that made your toes curl and your breath stutter. He made you cum so good that you nearly forgot your own name.
At times, you did forget it. But odd enough, you didn’t really miss it. Names weren’t important. Not with him.
And then there were those other times. The times, when you got too needy, too desperate and, despite your better will, you found yourself moving against him, desperate for any kind of friction. That was when you got punished still.
Sometimes with a firm slap to get you back on track. That wasn’t enough to make you forget about your need for him though. Normally, you’d just fall back into the same pattern, given enough time. And after a while, he got more creative with his punishments. When he realized that pain was something that you were rather immune to, compared to other things, you were fucked.
Quite literally.
When you moved and disobeyed his orders not to…
He fucked you. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Not at all, actually.
That was until…
You came. You came every time with him, which was something you had highly doubted, before you started this thing between you. But to your surprise, you were more than relaxed with him. And so you came.
But he didn’t stop there. No, it was a punishment after all, right?
So, he kept fucking into you, like a feral animal. Even after you came and the pleasure quickly shifted into overstimulation. You got so sensitive, it was close to painful. But he kept going.
And then, oh God, you’d come again. Of course you did. He was good at what he was doing. You came again, shuddering and gasping.
And he still wouldn’t stop.
Even when your body arched into the air and you tried to get away from him, all desperate, he’d continue fucking you, until your mind was a mess and all you could do was stutter and whimper, cry even.
It was one of his favorite ways to punish you.
When he didn’t keep you on edge or withdrew your release for the time being, he made you cum until you begged him to stop, sobbing and whimpering.
Oh, the crying turned him on, you could tell. Because it normally ended with him filling you up to the brim. And then he’d go back to sleep, wouldn’t he? With his length still buried deep inside to keep warm.
Let’s just hope you learned your lesson now, darling. I’d hate to punish you again.
He had done exactly that the night before and so you found yourself lying on the sofa, feeling sore and exhausted. When he came home that night, you were still passed out on the couch, too sleepy to even open your eyes. He regarded your broken frame with a warm, yet subtle smile and set his briefcase down. He took a few slow steps closer and watched over you for a long moment, before he reached for the nearby blanket and pulled it up to your shoulders. You weren’t really fast asleep, just somewhere in-between, so you felt his knuckles gently caress your cheek. You mumbled something in response and you heard the way he smiled, before he vanished to the bathroom and you heard the way the water got turned on.
After a while you slowly blinked your eyes open and yawned. When you saw the blanket, a smile crept onto your face and you hugged the material tightly to your body. Slowly and carefully, you sat up and rubbed your eyes, before you decided to try and cook something for a change. You got better and better at it, considering how little you knew about the Korean cuisine. Yet you had to admit, it seemed healthier than anything you had ever eaten back home.
When you couldn’t think of anything, you decided to be safe and went for Bibimbap. It was a mixture of near everything and also the fastest thing you could think of. But before you even started, you went back to your room to grab a claw clip for your hair. You swiftly did it up and made your way through the hallway, when you saw that the door to his bedroom stood open. You saw his white shirt splayed out on the bed and you just knew it smelled like him. You bit your lip as you slowly tiptoed inside and picked the shirt up, only to bury your face in the material and inhale softly.
If this wasn’t home, what would ever be?
You hummed softly to yourself, before you swiftly slid off your caramel colored skirt and your black tank top, to put his button down shirt on instead. The material hugged your body like a gentle hug and you smiled to yourself as you rolled the sleeves up in the way he would. Of course the shirt looked fairly huge on you. You took a long glance at the big mirror and smirked. It looked like a dress on you, albeit a short one. You twirled around like a ballerina and took in the way your thighs were barely covered by the material. That gave you a wicked idea.
Of course your body was begging you to leave it be, especially after last night, but the devil inside your mind forced you to keep the shirt on and make your way back to the kitchen.
In the meantime, he had finished his shower and now he sat on the couch, with the newspaper in his hand. He wore a pair of grey sweatpants (the damned bastard) and a black shirt. His hair was still damp and hung loosely into his face. He looked delicious.
When he heard you approach, he looked up, ready to greet you, when he hesitated. His gaze roamed up and down your body in a way that made you bite back a smirk.
“Hello, darling.” He murmured, without ever looking up at your face.
“Why, hello.” You purred cheerfully and approached him with slow, tiptoed steps. His gaze wandered up your legs and torso, until he finally met your gaze.
“You look…”
“I thought it suits me better than you.” You teased.
His lips curved up into a slow smile. “I can’t disagree.” He took your hand, ready to pull you onto his lap. But after last night, you felt in dire need to take some action and control.
Not, that you didn’t somehow enjoy it. But still.
You briefly squeezed his hand, before you pulled yours away. You gave him a quick peck on the lips, then took a step back.
“I’ll go cook.”
His brows shot up. “I can-“
“No.”
You hid your smirk, until you had your back facing him. With quick, measured steps, you disappeared into the kitchen, all the while pretending not to hear his frustrated groan.
The next few minutes went by rather quickly. You did a great job cooking up some ingredients and even an egg, Sunny Side Up. You quickly set the table and eventually left some rice on the stove, to slowly simmer. With a soft, exaggerated sigh you made your way back to the living room.
“It’s almost done.” You murmured as you slowly approached him. When you looked at him, you deliberately missed his face and his expression became more and more dour.
“Good. I was thinking-“
“I nearly finished my book.” You interrupted him in a sweet voice, as you sat down on his lap, causing him to freeze for a moment. It only took him a second to relax, though he seemed to have forgotten that you had interrupted him and what he even intended to say in the first place.
“That’s…good.” He murmured.
“Just two more pages. I’ll finish it quickly, before dinner, okay?”
He cocked a brow and shrugged slowly. “Sure. Suit yourself.”
His shirt rode up your thighs and revealed more and more of your skin to his gaze. He didn’t even try to be secretive about it, he was straight-up ogling you. All the while you buried your nose in your book, without reading a single word. You had to save up all your energy as not to smile.
His fingertips brushed over the skin of your thigh and you did your best to keep your expression neutral. And he, he was just…
“Are you-“
“Oh God, I didn’t see that twist coming.” You closed the book and sighed. Then you shot him an innocent look and smiled. “That was a really good book.”
You leaned back against his chest and kept up your innocent façade, all the while the look in his eyes equaled that of a bear with his fish.
“You really-“
“I’d better go and get myself another one. I’m sure the rice needs a few more minutes.”
His hand ended up in the middle of the air, while you practically jumped off of his lap. He let out a soft grunt of frustration, while you slowly swayed your way back to the bookshelf. Of course your hips swayed along and obviously his gaze did the same.
You held a finger against your lips, pretending to think, while you slowly went about the rows and rows of books. And then, what a coincidence, a book in the last row caught your attention. You smiled and bent down, pretending to read.
At the same time, his patience snapped. When his shirt rode up further, exposing just a hint of your rear to him, he let out a low growl.
“That’s enough.” He hissed. You smirked, before you slowly turned and replaced the smirk with innocent surprise.
“What? What’s enough?”
“Oh, stop this.” He slammed the newspaper down on the coffee table and stood up in a swift movement. “Stop acting all innocent. You’ve been parading around here, half-naked and ready to…”
“To what?” You murmured and tilted your head to the side in feigned curiosity. He growled again and ran a hand over his chin. Only then did you see the obvious tent in his grey sweatpants. It cost you half your life not to look down there and trust your peripheral view.
“Don’t play dumb.” He murmured. “Get over here. Now.”
You licked your lips. “But the rice-“
“Now!”
That made you laugh and there went your innocent act out of the window.
“You minx! You’re doing this on purpose!”
You chuckled. “Well…”
The look on his face was near rabid. Only the foam was missing.
“I’ll forgive you this once, if you’ll be a good girl for me and get your ass over here.”
You smirked and took a step back, circling the sofa. “And if I don’t?
He hissed in response. “You don’t want to test me today.”
And for some inexplicable reason, right then and there, you weren’t scared. That tiny part of your brain that had continued to keep up the fear, albeit briefly and barely, was completely silent. And you knew he wasn’t going to hurt you, no matter what you did.
“Make me then.”
His eyes widened and he tilted his chin up. “Oh, that’s a mistake.”
You grinned. “Oh, that’s a mistake.” You mocked his voice.
With a movement so quick that it almost made you wince, he jumped over the back of the couch and stood before you, eyeing you like a predator. You let out a soft shriek and turned on your heel, running and laughing, without looking over your shoulder.
It took him only a second to put his hand on your shoulder, but it took you only a second to shrug him off and circle the coffee table.
“That all you got, old man?”
You could have sworn you saw his lip twitch, but that would have been too easy. He tried hard to keep his expression serious.
“Grew a backbone, did you?”
You raised a brow and smirked. “Oh, boo-hoo. Did I hurt you, oppa?” You hinted a mocking curtsy.
“Oh, you just wait!” He rushed to catch you from one side, but you quickly ran the other way. When he tried the other way, you went the other way, yet again. He gave a frustrated growl.
“What now, hm?” You smirked. “Giving up already?”
He gave you a long, wild look. For a moment you almost thought he was indeed giving up, but then he rushed forward and kicked the table out of the way. It rolled over and crashed against the wall loudly. Your eyes widened in surprise and you took a step back, but before you knew it, your back was already pressed against the wall and you had to tilt your head back to stare up at him.
“You caught me.” You whispered.
He clenched his jaw and reached out a hand. You were sure. You were still sure, that you were safe.
And then…
His hand slowly tangled in your hair and gently grasped the back of your neck. He leaned down so that your lips nearly met.
“I caught you.” He whispered back, before he captured your lips in a bruising kiss.
And you let the rice burn.
A few days later, you couldn’t even tell which day it was, because every day was but a collection of memories you kept replaying in your head, he was off to work.
And to no one’s great surprise, you missed him.
Every waking moment without him was empty. The emptiness was so intense, it left you nearly suffocating. All the while, all you could do was wait. Wait and eat. Wait and sleep. Wait and read.
Sometimes, you wrote. You remembered that one time you told him about your greatest dream.
To become an author one day. You didn’t even care, if anyone knew your real name, you just wanted to touch people with your words. Like the Bronte-sisters.
Ellis Bell, huh? And who would you be?
Hana, maybe. The thought made you equally as sad as it filled you with hope.
But that was about all you did. And after hours and hours, the day neared its end. Eventually it was far past eleven, so you were sure he would be late tonight. Of course you were concerned. As you always were. You had no idea what his job was, but you could tell it was dangerous.
The man in his clean suit and a briefcase full of secrets.
When it got closer to midnight and he still wasn’t back, you decided to distract yourself, by getting yourself ready. You changed into a beautiful, white negligee with a neckline made of pretty, see-through lace. You loved it. The silk made you feel like you were the most beautiful girl on earth. And you were sure, once he saw you in it, he would totally destroy it. Chew it off or tear it down, whatever worked faster.
You did your hair down (it was slowly growing back and you barely thought back to the dreadful day that he cut it) and took a last glance at your appearance in the mirror. You smiled at yourself, something you rarely did, and eventually made your way back to his bedroom to surprise him. On his bed, wearing nothing but the negligee and a pair of…
Where were the handcuffs? You frowned as you glanced around and didn’t immediately find them. You bent down to look under the bed, but still no cuffs in sight. Your frown deepened and you gave another quick onceover, before you decided that they most likely were in the wardrobe.
You opened it and knelt down, finding the knife and several guns in the process. The small shudder brought you back to reality and you exhaled softly, before you sat back and looked at the countless weapons. Had he ever killed someone with them? Most likely.
But for a strange, inexplicable reason, you didn’t really care. Not really. Because it wasn’t real. Not then, not there, not in that moment. What was real, was him and his…
Desires.
You opened your mouth and closed it, before your fingers slowly closed around a small handgun. You swallowed thickly and carefully held it up, only to realize it was far heavier than you always assumed. The material felt cold and wrong in your hand.
Your mind involuntarily wandered back to the day he pressed one of them against your temple or…his. You closed your eyes. The thought of him…
Him…
With a shuddery gasp, the gun slipped through your fingers and landed on the carpet.
There was no thought more painful than that one. You couldn’t lose him. Not ever.
You loved him. And you loved him far too much.
Enough, to be what he wanted.
Enough, to give in to his desires.
You took another deep breath and picked up the gun again, determined to take it back to bed with you. You wanted to surprise him, right?
All you had to do beforehand was to make sure that it wasn’t loaded.
A frown formed on your face, when you realized you didn’t even know how to do that. The thought of accidentally shooting yourself, while waiting for him to come home…It didn’t sound all too appealing, though it did sound like something that could happen to you.
You sighed and already gave up the thought of ever finding the cuffs, when you caught sight of something else instead. It was far in the back of the wardrobe and you were sure, for some reason, you weren’t supposed to see it.
Of course you weren’t supposed to touch his gun, either, but you felt he would forgive you, once he realized you were slowly submitting to his every desire.
Even if it meant him fucking you, while he held a gun to your head. In your mouth…Or, God help you, somewhere else.
You were twisted. You were sure you were. Because you felt it. You felt how the thought did things to you.
But for now you tried to push the thought aside and instead glanced back at the box.
Then again, what terrible thing could be inside there?
Someone’s teeth maybe?
Your soft smile disappeared the second you realized it was possible. You nearly recoiled in disgust. But then you realized, you had to know.
It couldn’t be teeth. It was too sick. Too deranged.
Too…him?
No. No, no, no.
As if in a trance, you picked up the light, wooden box and took off the lid.
No teeth inside. Only…
Fuck.
What was in there was so much worse than teeth.
Your forehead creased into a small frown, which grew further with every second.
And suddenly you felt nauseous.
No.
Oh, no.
You nearly dropped the box and backed away like you’d been struck, the moment you heard it.
“Goddamn it." He sighed impatiently and the door slowly closed behind him. "You weren’t supposed to see that.”
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Tag list 1:
@mitsuki-dreamfree @kpopsmutty69 @heroine-chique @vkeyy @mizuwki @blu-brrys @z0mbi345 @yourpointbreak @ayieayee @freddyzeppsworld @lola11111111 @indifitel6661 @salesmanlover08 @laurenbenoit70 @lalalaa2210 @lila-marshal @auspicious-lilana @0-aubrie0 @lovelyaegyo @theredvelvetbitch @violentbluess @muriels-lover @dorayakissu @eviebuggg @muchwita @ririgy @strxlemon @obsessedwthdilfs @kiwilov3 @misty-q
Author's note: Did I lately mention that I love you, guys?
Ps. The Tteokbokki and the teasing were anon requests! I loved them and I hope I did them justice!
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What's coming for you in love in 2025? - Pick a Pile
Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3
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Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!
Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!
How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!
I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!
Pile 1:
(The cards I got for you - 10 of pentacles, knight of pentacles, 9 of wands and the fool)
Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is, "patience" I feel your love life has been stagnant or stuck for quite a while, or you just don't feel like the need to have someone in your life, you are doing things but for your own, and maybe a part of you deep down wishes for the love the craving, soul shattering style. I am feeling this year will bring you luck in your love life, Like you will be meeting someone around the mid year to next year, But what I am feeling is your person, is taking his time, since he has lots going on , nothing to worry about but is like a bit of stress going on in their life, and you as well you need to go through some transitions before you actually come across them. Their energy is very masculine or well balanced. I am also feeling that it will happen when you let go of expectation and embrace the unknown, take the risk, not just stay in your safe cocoon. I am also feeling the person coming is quite something. He is patient, not that romantic in a way, but his actions will prove otherwise, the small little things or big things you will do for you, but for many of you I am seeing you might meet your person this year, and for some of you I am seeing lots of self love and growth, the song i keep channeling is "flowers" by Miley Cyrus , like even though you crave it you are not as desperate for it. "I can buy myself flowers", "talking to myself for hours, say things you don't understand", you got the gist hmm, and this is also very beautiful it proves, that you have the right energy, but do open your heart, take risks, go out, do stuff for yourself, and very unexpectedly you will meet you person.
The zodiac signs i feel prominent in this group are aquarius, earth signs and fire signs especially sagittarius/leo (sun/moon/rising).
Pile 2:
(The cards I got for you - 2 of cups, 3 of pentacles, and 8 of wands)
Okay so the very first thing I feel and heard is, you're definitely gonna encounter someone this year, it's like a divine connection that I am seeing is coming towards you, I am also seeing the connection between you both, is gonna get develop into something more and quickly very soon, the attraction you both feel will be very much mutual, like you both know and realize what you want and its you both, the feelings are so mutual and pure, for some of you I feel you already know who your future spouse is, so I am feeling you might get close to them. or if not then there is just they are more on your thoughts or dreams and EVEN if you don't meet them it will be like your soul recognize it and it will happen very soon for you both. I am also feeling you both might have met at work, education, travel,, or a group kind of project, or shared interest, and if not you might meet there. I am also feeling you will learn a lot, from this experience, or from them it's not a superficial kind of love it's a love and feeling that is very deep. I am also hearing that is meant to be! I am also feeling that this connection is soulmate connection and you share something deep! I am also feeling from seeing the cards that this union is gonna be life changing and it will change your perception of love and how you see it.
The zodiac signs i feel prominent in this group are scorpio, cancer, pisces, virgo and fire signs especially sagittarius and aries. (sun/moon/rising).
Pile 3:
(The cards I got for you - 9 of wands, the sun, king of swords and the 3 of cups)
Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is that you guys are SUPER independent, like yeah I can do that i don't need no one type of thing. You might have been a real people pleaser, but I am seeing you are trying to over come it and you also stand up for yourself which is very good thing, and in relationships i feel you haven't had much luck and many of you didn't even had boyfriend or this, but this just means god has some special plans for you. I am also feeling you can't tolerate bullshit of others, you are not the person to stay if someone is being intolerable. And that's a good thing. I am also seeing that you guys have CHANGED IN PAST FEW YEARS which is a good thing for you. Okay, I also got the message that some of you here might had one or two relationships but not serious, many of you don't even know what love is like (not saying that's a bad thing) just typing out the things I channel. So, now let's dive deeper, I am also feeling that this year particularly will bring a change in your life which will be TURNING YOUR LIFE UPSIDE down, maybe you realize who is your person, there will be signs, SO i am seeing and feeling that you don't ignore them at ALL. you will be seeing lots of 11:11, 222 and 444 but also feathers and butterflies. I am also feeling that the change will be so full of happiness, you might not even see it coming in a way. After all, universe has a plan and works in mysterious ways. I am also feeling that in love there is someone coming towards the end of the year mostly fall or in October, I am also feeling the person will be very intelligent and confident, they are like a life of party. I am also feeling when you come across them, you might be celebrating something like you got A job, you passed your exams, you launched your business. They are also very intellectual, and it's gonna transform your life in a very good way.
The prominent zodiac signs are - fire signs and air signs, sun/moon/rising.
Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3
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I don't care | S.H.
Summary: Taking care of Steve after he was attacked by an army of demobats seems like a lot of work, only because apparently he doesn't like you.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!reader
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of injury, allusion to smut
Word count: 2.2k
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"You want them spicy or not?" You ask Steve as you make nachos for dinner for both of you.
He's lying on the couch, on his back. He still recovers from the attack of the demobats. His neck is almost fully scarred, but the bites on his stomach and his sides are still painful. You've been laying low together for close to two weeks.
Your friends didn't want to make you team up with them to find Vecna and kill him. Not that you're not brave or strong enough to do so. But you're still pretty new to all of this and someone had to stay with Steve. So you didn't even bother opposing the idea, even though he's not your biggest fan.
God knows why, he never told his reasons. And your friends didn't know either. Maybe Eddie did, but he wouldn't open his mouth about it.
"I still think this is really unnecessary. I'm not a fucking child" He complains as he walks past the kitchen door, leaning against the sink.
With crossed arms, he looks at your food. You made chilli beans, guacamole and cheese sauce for the spicy nachos. You look up at him, trailing your eyes on his neck for an instant before raising an eyebrow to him.
"You can't even hold your own weight, Harrington. Stop being a crybaby".
Steve scoffs at you, but doesn't move an inch from his position. "Jesus, I wish we had another plan".
You drop the spoon you were using, turning your face to look at him. "I'm only doing this because they asked me to. Get off your own ass".
You leave the kitchen, walking out to the bedroom you were sleeping on. You were staying at his house. It's not like there were other options, but you couldn't refuse to stay there when he's alone and barely walking. Well, he can walk. The worst part is that he needs rest because of his wounds.
The past two weeks you've been quite getting along. Not that much, really. It's not like you were friends. Probably more like close acquaintances. Because obviously, he was the one pushing you away.
You didn't leave your room for a while, you were too annoyed to eat, and since it was dinner for the two of you, it didn't feel like you should eat anymore. You decided to spend your time watching something on the TV, which would easily make you get bored.
And then you would read books, or write stuff. It's been pretty tough lately since Vecna appeared. Max almost got killed and now she was staying at Dustin's house. The other kids were coming back to Hawkins to help, maybe Eleven might be able to do something about that.
You actually wished you were doing something fun. Like, taking a trip to the beach or snowboarding since it's fall and the weather has been cold. Your thoughts were pushed back by a knock on the door. Steve didn't open it and you didn't mention doing it either, so he just stayed there.
"Sorry I was an idiot" His voice came out muffled through the closed door. "I know I've been cranky and annoying".
You only opened the door after a couple of minutes, not exactly sure if he was still there. But he looked up from the floor at you. "You used to be nice. I mean, way before this curse happened".
He stayed quiet, because you were right. But what else can he do if the world was turned upside down (almost literally) again? And you almost got them killed once, not on purpose of course.
You were also the one to get too close to Robin and he hated seeing his best friend sharing her friendship with someone else. Because up until then, he was the only one she was the closest he had to a friend, even though he had a strong relationship with Eddie too.
None of it was your fault, but he grew annoyed over you. He couldn't lie to himself and say you weren't too kind and helpful. But he started to become extremely unenthusiastic over you through the year.
"A lot has happened since then. I'm trying to live up to the fact that we're against another monster again" Steve leans an arm against the doorframe, but refuses to keep his gaze at you.
"Which isn't my fault, by the way. Not to mention I'm the one who pulled you out of the watergate before you were eaten".
Another few seconds of silence, which was followed by a sarcastic nasal laugh. He shook his head and hung it low to the floor.
"Oh, you want a prize for that? Because I remember clearly when I didn't ask for your help!" His words were harsh, even if not intended.
But now you were the one who didn't know what to say. Until you feel the bitter taste on your tongue.
"Guess I should've let them rip your skin apart, then".
He saw the door shutting in front of him, cursing himself for being extremely idiotic and insensitive. He almost felt like punching his own face for that.
Steve heard you talking to Eddie that night through your walkie talkie. It was a little bit hard to hear because the reception was static for you. But you could listen to Eddie and God, you missed him and the others. It started to become unbearable to live with Steve. He heard you lament the whole situation, complaining about the way you were treating each other.
He was bitter about the things they were going through. He was angry he couldn't have done more. And he was taking it out all on you. He couldn't face another apology on the same day, because he knew he didn't deserve to be forgiven. Not right now.
The next day, he made breakfast by himself. It took you by surprise, but by the time you were up, he had already eaten. And you wouldn't want to eat with him either. You remember Nancy saying the bickering was just "sexual tension" but you knew it didn't have anything to do with that.
Even though you felt your ears burning from the thought, you couldn't deny to yourself that he was pretty charming. And seeing him shirtless whenever he would change the gauze made you feel weird. God, his hair was always pretty while yours looked like a bird nest after waking up.
The day seemed to have lasted longer since you haven't exchanged a single word to each other. He was focused on watching movies, playing video games and listening to music. He was getting bored out of his mind, but there wasn't much he could do being injured.
You, on the other hand, went out to do some errands. In fact, you didn't care you left him alone. You were getting tired of staying inside. So you went to see Max, and invited her to eat at Burger King. She seemed to feel better to do something like that too. Everything seemed pretty fuzzy lately.
Will, Mike and Eleven were pretty close to Hawkins. Thanks to Argyle who thinks he's a speed racer, and Jonathan who encourages him to drive long hours so they can arrive as soon as possible.
It was almost 7 PM when you came back home. You've finally had some fun after a week. You obviously couldn't be going out since they still haven't found Vecna and he knows about you too. The man in front of you seemed pretty pissed that he didn't see you were out until he woke up two hours ago.
"What? Don't give me that father look" You dropped your backpack on the floor and followed upstairs.
He's got a whole show prepared and he wasn't feeling like he would regret it this time.
"You know you can't just fucking go out and yet, you still do" He walked behind you, like a mother scolding a child.
"Yeah, dad. I know so. But here I am, back in pieces" You turned on your heel to look at him before closing your door.
Much to your dismay, he was faster this time, holding it with his right foot and right hand. Even injured, he was still stronger than you.
"No, don't push it. You can be an easy target for him, you know that?"
You huff, dropping your arm to your side. "Look, Harrington. I'm an adult, and I'm very aware of what I do or don't do. So please, just stop making a scene and leave me the fuck alone".
Steve couldn't even stand arguing with you anymore, it was so tiring. But he knew he would blame himself if something ever happened to you out there. He couldn't let this happen to you, even though you've been annoying him for whatever reason.
He took a step towards you, his hands balling into fists. The way your eyes were boring into him in an unamused face irritated him even more.
"Look, honey" His tone was purely sarcastic and you felt it not only in his voice, but in his demeanor too. "You know you're putting yourself at risk doing that. If I'm not fucking sure you're safe as well, I won't live with that".
At each passing second, you could feel him walking to you, but you couldn't walk back. You couldn't run from him, you couldn't get away from him. You wouldn't, you didn't feel like you wanted to.
"And not just because of my friends, they sure would kill me. But because I couldn't lose another person" You feel his breathing hitting your face, his eyes flicking as he looks at you.
He looks down at you with such intensity, it's crazy how there's a magnetic pull towards him.
You hold his gaze, feeling a cold shiver down your spine. He didn't look like he was about to snap at you, even though his tone was a bit loud.
He furrows his brows when he sees your lip curling into a smirk. "Well, Steve" His fingers move by the sound of his name, you always call him Harrington. "I thought you didn't care if I died or not".
This time, he was the one to smirk at you. "Honey, I don't remember saying I never cared about you".
Your stomach sank at that. Because now as you think of it, it comes crashing down as a realization that he never really said anything related to that. He truly never spoke about it.
"Doesn't seem like it"
"You see, this is why you annoy me so much" His nose bumps into yours, but he still gazes at you like he doesn't mean to avoid eye contact.
"Yeah? Then you should–" He doesn't let you finish your sentence.
Steve crashes his lips against yours, his hands flying down your hips. He feels your immediate reaction as you don't correspond right away. For a few seconds, he thinks he's done the wrong thing and almost regrets it, until you grab him by the neck with both hands. You wrap your fingers around his neck, your fingertips grazing the nape of his hair.
Your lips are smacking his lips in a hurry, while he runs a hand to cradle your face. He slips his tongue into your mouth and holds his breath when he feels your tongue moving in sync with him. He doesn't want to admit this is what he wished he could've done before.
Steve has been so stressed lately that he could only think about defeating Vecna. He didn't realize how much you were willing to take care of him these weeks. All he knew was that he also had to take care of you. And this is why he became so angry when you left without him knowing.
Especially because if something did happen to you, he would feel the regret of being an asshole to you.
He rips a low whimper from you when he gently grasps your lower lip by his teeth as he heaves against your mouth. You're both too absorbed into your own feelings, leaving grunts and gripping each other everywhere.
His fingers were digging your skin every time you would kiss his jawline and he was growing eager. He didn't want to look like he was trying to take advantage of you, only noticing now how much you also wanted this.
He then roughly pulls your shirt off, watching as your chest is quickly rising and falling. And his eyes sparkled when he saw your cleavage for the first time like that. Your bra perfectly hugging your round big breasts.
Steve didn't wait any longer, holding your waist and pushing you back against your bed.
That night, he pounded on you just like you dreamed about. He slapped his hips against your ass just like you wished someone would one day. The air was filled with sounds and lust.
You didn't even notice when your friends arrived right after he had an orgasm. You didn't have time to get dressed, only getting caught when Robin opened the door to you both naked. He didn't have time to remove his condom. She saw you naked. And worse. She saw her best friend naked.
And you thought it was going to be awkward, until Eddie turned the awkwardness into "I knew these idiots would fuck".
The night was all about this. They decided to leave the Vecna subject for the next day.
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington x fem!reader fluff#steve harrington fanfiction#stranger things#stranger things fanfic
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could you write jay and jungw sharing y/n🙏🏾
-> Pairing: Jay x afab! Reader x Jungwon
-> Plot: your need for a roommate leads you to meeting Jungwon who always brings his friend Jay around
-> Genre: smut, 3some, jay is kind of a sleeze, shy jungwon, squirting, use of nicknames (baby girl), oral (m receiving), fingering, nipple play, kissing, orgasm denial, piv sex, creampie (always use protection!!), drooling
-> Warnings: none
-> Word Count: 2,205
-> Notes: you guys deliver quick I’m so happy to write requests 🤩🤩🤩 disclaimer tho this is my first 3some fic so please bear with me. also since this is a very broad ask please let me know if anything in this fic bothered you or wasn’t what you were expecting, I’m simply writing based on what I was given~ (not proofread)
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okay so im imagining a roommate type situation.
like Jungwon is your roomate who has his friend Jay over a lot so you slowly start getting acquainted to him too. you had advertised needing a roommate to help pay for rent. you weren't expecting a response so quick but jungwon jumped at the oppertunity and you didn't mind as long as he was clean and not a freak (at least one of those things is true.)
so there is born a new friendship, and roommate-ship between you and jungwon. you guys would hang out sometimes, often eating dinner together and watching a movie since you both got home from work or school around the same time. you kept to yourself a lot, not that he minded since he did too. but one day he asked if it was okay for him to bring friends over, which you happily allowed. that was the day you met Jay and a couple of his other friends. while he hung out with all of them, he hung out with Jay the most.
usually when he had his friends over, you stayed in your room, not wanting to bother them. sometimes they'd bring food back for you to which you were very thankful and you would eat with them. then you'd retreat back to your room for the rest of the night. you didn't know that you had caught Jay's eye. one time after eating dinner with them, you went back to your room like normal, thanking them for the food.
"yo, you ever hit that?"
cue jungwon almost choking on his food.
"what??? thats my roommate Jay, no."
"what? she's hot. can I have her if you won't?"
"I guess? i don't think she wants you though. she would've mentioned to me if she did."
jungwon had never seen you in that way before, but after seeing how Jay was talking about getting with you, he'd start to notice you a bit more. how smooth your legs always looked. how full your chest looked in your shirt. how nice your thighs and ass looked in those leggings. how it was so hard for him to control his boner around you. he wanted to curse Jay for bringing your sexiness to his attention. he never acted on it though. he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, or worse, be kicked out of the apartment. that didn’t stop Jay from making comments about you to him every so often.
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there’s one weekend where Jungwon was going to go on a trip with his friends. they were only going to be a couple hours away and they even invited you out as well, but you declined, preferring a relaxing weekend alone instead. of course they respected your wishes and left soon after. a little bit into their drive away, Jay realizes that he has left his wallet in Jungwon’s room and needed to go back to get it. they all head back and wait in the car while Jungwon and Jay go back inside.
you, having been home alone for about 30 minutes by now, didn’t know that they would be coming back. you wasted no time taking off your pants, finally being able to touch yourself without needing to hold back your moans. naturally due to your little whines and grunts, you don’t hear the front door open.
your noises alert the two males, going to check on you to make sure you’re fine before finally heading out. since you were home alone you felt no need to close your bedroom door, which just so happened to be down the hall from Jungwon’s. one peek inside your room was all it took for them to realize what was going on, you frozen in place like a deer in headlights.
they look at each other, Jungwon holding a shocked expression while Jay’s is the opposite, a crooked smirk appearing on his face.
“my, my, look what we have here.”
shocked and embarrassed can’t even begin to describe your emotions right now. your whole face is flushed red, body limp yet frozen, too shocked to even try to cover yourself up.
“w-what are you guys doing here?”
finally coming to, you grab the blanket closest to you, throwing it over your lower half to cover yourself. Jay’s smirk doesn’t fade as he walks up to you.
“no need to cover yourself up darling, we’ve already seen the goods.”
you didn’t want to admit how extremely hot you found Jay. despite the embarrassment you were currently feeling, a new wave of need was hitting you with every step closer he took. he would trace his fingers over your arm, which was still under the blanket as you were using it to get off. he would look back over to Jungwon whose sporting a painfully obvious boner.
“look at Jungwon, he’s hard from just seeing you like this. maybe you could help us out?”
you look between the two men, confused and turned on beyond belief. Jay helps your nerves, beckoning Jungwon over before placing a hand under your chin, tilting your head to the side so he has better access to you neck. once you feel his lips on your neck, you throw your head back, gasps leaving you mouth the closer her gets to your sweet spot.
Jungwon is on the other side of you, nervous as he reaches his hands around your waist, feeling up your curves and chest. you relax into their touch, getting off on the attention they're giving you as your hand resumes its previous task, 2 fingers delving in and out of your hole.
"such a dirty girl, getting off to the two of us touching you"
Jay tsks, replacing your hand with his own, using two of his fingers to help you out. Jungwon, pent up already, pulls his pants down to reveal his raging boner, tip red and angry. you waste no time wrapping your wet fingers around his length, slowly pumping as he sighs out of relief. Jungwon entangles his hands in your hair, leaning down to capture your lips as Jay continues his movements, following your neck as you kiss Jungwon.
you moan as Jay hits a particular spot your short fingers normally have trouble reaching, gasping into Jungwon's mouth as you pump him faster. Jay's nibbling at your neck, increasing his speed as he feels your walls clench around his fingers. you can't help the gush of liquid that comes out of you, soaking the blanket and Jay's hand.
"fuck, you're so hot"
you pull away from Jungwon to kiss Jay, hand pumping faster on Jungwon as he bucks his hips into your hand, pinching and playing with your nipples under your shirt. your moans don't stop, and that keeps them both going as Jay whips the blanket off of you. both men climb into the bed with you. you pull away from Jay as Jungwon helps you take your shirt off, placing your hand back on his length as soon as you're free from the material. Jay takes his pants off in the meantime, watching your tits bounce freely out of the shirt.
"mind if I have her first Won? I've been waiting for this,"
you look up at him, eyes pleading with him to just be in you already. Jungwon nods his head at the older, biting back moans as he tries not to cum just yet. Jay repositions himself to be in between your legs, lifting one of them up onto his shoulder as he rubs his tip against your folds, lubing himself up with your slick.
"ready baby girl?"
you nod like a madman, ready to have him fully inside you. you turn your head to jungwon, seeing his eyes screw shut as he's on the brink of release, and you pull your hand away. the loud whine from his throat is proabably the hottest thing you've ever heard.
"mouth..."
is all you can muster before Jungwon gets the memo, kneeling before you, inching his cock into your open mouth as Jay finally pushes in. the simultaneous moans from the 3 of you are loud, echoing throughout the house. you're trying your best to suck him off at this angle, drool spilling past your lips and down your chin, making its way down the rest of his length. Jay's pounding into you, soft at first but gradually getting more rough as you adjust to his size. the added finger rubbing your clit has you bucking your hips into his thrusts, and your mouth taking Jungwon in deeper.
your orgasms are all quickly approaching, not really trying to hold back as the pleasure grows too much for the 3 of you. Jungwon cums first and harder than you had expected, having denied his orgasm once before. you almost choke trying to swallow his load, scooping up any of his cum that slipped past your lips back into your mouth, savoring every last drop.
you cum next, moaning loud as your hips push into Jay's thrusts, walls fluttering around his length, causing him to release inside of you. you struggle to catch your breath as Jungwon pulls you into another kiss, relaxing a bit as Jay helps you ride out your orgasm. they both pull away from your spent body, exchanging looks before switching spots.
"w-what are you guys doing?'
you're half delirious, confused as to whats going on.
"I had my turn, now it's Jungwon's turn to be in you."
he turns to Jungwon,
"she's so tight, its the best feeling ever."
Jungwon smirks, confidence coursing through his body as he sees how exhausted you look.
"I can't wait,"
he positions himself between your legs, already hard again at the thought of being in you finally. he winces as he brings his tip up to your wet slit that's leaking both yours and Jay's cum, still a little sensitive from his prior release.
"please, it's too much... s-sensitive..."
your broken words only fuel him more.
"you can take a little more for us can't you?"
Jay says, smiling up at Jungwon, who finally pushes himself into your walls. Jungwon runs his hands up and down your body, soothing you of your overstimulation, Jay reaching his hand down to toy with your clit yet again. you buck your hips into them, so fucked out that you fail to produce a moan, mouth hanging open. Jay looks at you, taking his finger that were previously on your clit and bringing them up to your mouth.
"suck."
he commands. your eyes are rolled back into your head as you close your mouth on his fingers, coating his fingers with your saliva as he brings his free hand down to pump his length. your orgasm is approaching quickly as Jungwon continues to bully your hole. he can tell by the way you're frantically bucking your hips to meet his thrusts, losing your pace as spill all over him.
Jay's hands are moving quick on himself, cumming all over your pelvis and stomach as he empties himself. Jungwon takes the chance to bring both of your legs over his shoulders, pounding relentlessly as he's on the verge of cumming. the pleasure is slowly being replaced by pain, the overstimulation becoming too much. Jay can see the way your face contorts, releasing his fingers from your mouth and placing soft kisses on your neck.
"just a little more baby, hang on a little longer."
you nod, too fucked out to properly comprehend what his words mean. its at that point when Jungwon's hips finally stall, ropes of cum painting your walls as he empties every last drop in you. he pulls out slowly, and you whine, half at the loss of feeling full and half out of relief. he watches as the cum from all 3 of you slowly spills out, taking his finger and pushing it back into you. you arch your back and moan and the boys look at each other, smiling and laughing at your spent state.
they both lay on either side of you, silent and breath ragged as you all try to calm down. the air is heavy with the smell of sex but comforting nonetheless. once you've come back to your senses, you look at the 2 boys, remembering the trip they were supposed to go on.
"what are you guys doing here? i thought you were supposed to be on your trip?"
they look at each other, first looking scared realizing that they left their friends waiting outside for them, but then laughing.
"Jay left his wallet here so we came back to get it. they probably drove off without us already because we were taking too long."
Jungwon shrugs, getting up to grab his phone to check the many messages from their group chat confirming exactly what he said.
"whatever. we can go on another trip whenever we want. but this is more fun, right Y/N?"
you look at Jay, laughing at his implications, not yet worrying about what all this between the 3 of you could mean. they both look at you, smiling fondly at your next words.
"round 2?"
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JayWon have been WRECKING me these days! this ask was just scrumptious 🤤
#starrihan#enhypen#enhypen smut#enha#enha smut#jay#park jay#park jeongseong#park jeongseong smut#jay smut#jungwon#yang jungwon#jungwon smut#yang jungwon smut#jay x reader#jungwon x reader#enhypen x reader#kpop#kpop smut
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Hiya!! How are you? And could you please write silco headcanons with a sick reader :3 also happy new year!!!
silco x sick reader hc
thank you for the new years wishes, i hope 2025 is going great for you!!
you needed to go shopping and silco told you to wear a jacket, it was cold and rainy after a all
you rolled your eyes and decided against it since you would only be out for a bit
now you’re tucked up in the bed you share with silco, the stern man frowning down at your shivering body
“y/n i specifically told you to wear a jacket, did i not?” he pinches the bridge of his nose as he stands over you, and you open your mouth to retort but a cough racks your weak body instead
his eyes manage to sharpen even more so than they did before before
you start to sniffle and he lets out a defeated sigh as he continues to take in your rather pathetic demeanour
silco gets one of his lackeys to make you a chicken broth, something easy to keep down but warming enough to combat your shivers and shakes
he’s constantly coming by from his office to check your temperature and place a new cool flannel on your forehead
he tries to act annoyed by this “inconvenience” but you both know that he’s worried sick about you no matter how hard you try to convince him that you’ll be right as rain in no time
he rubs salves on your chest and back to ease any congestion, maybe taking sliiiiightly longer than he needs to
if you complain of any aches or pains he’s right on it, softly massaging away any discomfort with such expertise you would think it was his job
silco buys you a warm, and expensive, coat that goes down to your ankles and makes sure to guilt trip you into wearing it next time you go outside
he sings
quietly, just as you’re drifting off to sleep, he sings hushed lullabies and old songs since he’s convinced you sleep better when he does
and that’s all he wants - for you to get better
definitely has singed come by with medicine specially made for you - silco doesn’t let anyone else but him administer it though
when he feeds you spoonfuls of medicine, he always strokes your damp baby hairs with such sincerity and gentleness it makes you tear up
of course he gets startled by this and panics that he hurt you somehow and immediately tries to fix what he did
you drag him in for a hug before he works his way into a pit of anxiety and kiss him for as long as you can before pulling away to cough yet again
silco blushes like CRAZY and you finally feel like you have the upper hand
that’s until silco is also sniffling in bed with you by the end of night, complaining that he “caught your disgusting germs” despite the sweet crinkle of his eyes as you both weakly chatter away
now it’s sevika’s turn to (begrudgingly) look after you guys but she can’t even be mad when she sees how cute you two are tightly tucked up in bed snoring away well into the afternoon <3
masterlist
#silco x reader#silco arcane#silco#silco fluff#arcane headcanon#arcane fluff#silco x reader headcanon#silco headcanons#sick fic#request#arcane request
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Hitching a Ride there's only one bed?
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Tomura Shigaraki x Reader Dabi/Touya Todoroki x Reader [separately]
Choose your own adventure with Shig//Dabi routes. Lightly suggestive, but no smut.
previous - this is part 3 - next (coming soon) [series masterlist]
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As you walk through the parking lot to the door of the motel, you realize you’re about to spend the night alone with a man who you met jumping into a stolen van less than 48 hours ago. On its face, this should be a red flag but, thus far, it hasn’t felt like it. If anything, he looks more nervous about being in a room alone with you than you are.
You slide the keycard four times before the light flashes green and beeps. Shoving open the door, you flick on the lights and -
“There’s only one bed?”
Tomura Shigaraki ᝰ⛐
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“At least I only have to share with you,” Shigaraki shrugs, “the last hotel stop there were three of us in each bed and Twice kicks in his sleep.”
You laugh, feeling a bit less nervous about the situation. Your laughter also hides the grumbling you feel in your stomach. You wish there was room service, or even a restaurant close. The lackluster dinner you had did nothing to stave off your hunger. As if he could read your mind, Shigaraki walks to the door.
“I think I saw a vending machine earlier, I was about to head over there. Want me to get you anything?” he asks.
“I’ll go with you!” you exclaim, a little more excited than you intended to sound. “I need to move my legs a bit after sitting all day anyways.”
The two of you wander back into the dimly lit parking lot and around the building. Snack and drink vending machines glow side by side like an oasis in the desert.
“Watch,” he says, hitting the machine with his hip at just the right angle to make a drink fall out. He repeats it again, and another drops. You try the same on the snack one to no avail. Everything seems to be tucked solidly between the metal coils. Without thinking, you pull a semi-large bill from your pocket and shove it in the machine.
“Pick whatever you want,” you say to him, stepping aside.
“You don’t have to pay for everything,” he mumbles, hitting C6 to send a bag of chips plummeting to the bottom.
“Yeah, but I want to. You’re the only reason I’m not-” in prison right now, you think. “I definitely owe you. For the ride.”
“It’s fine,” he mutters as the two of you alternate picking more snacks until you each have an armful.
After dropping some gummy candies while you try to get the keycard to work, you’re back in your room dumping your haul on the motel comforter.
He gives you the first turn for the shower. Dragging your bag in there, you open it to find not much that will be helpful in this situation. You try to clean up the best you can, but at the end of it all, you’re still putting your dirty clothes back on. After looking in the mirror for the first time in months, you decide this is the best it’s going to be and walk back out.
“You’re carrying around a giant bag of money, but no clothes?” Shigaraki asks.
“Wait, how do you know-”
“We picked you up by a bank robbery and you’ve been paying for everything, I put two and two together.” He doesn’t seem phased by this, barely bothering to look away from the motel info sheet he’s reading his way through. “You can’t sleep in that. If you want, you can borrow one of my shirts.”
You nod, thank him. He throws you a shirt from his backpack before heading to take a shower. With the time he’s in there, you fiddle with the remote. Trying to find something worth watching but it’s three cable tv channels and static.
Not ten minutes later, he comes back out in a t-shirt and underwear. You try to keep your eyes glued to the tv, but fail miserably. He’s very attractive, you decide. Every bit of fabric hugging in exactly the right places. Through the corner of your eye, you catch a slew of scars over his legs. Some are scratches, others look like bullet wounds. No wonder he didn’t bat an eye at sharing the room with a bank robber.
“What,” he muses, climbing under the covers by your side. “Still going to sleep in pants?”
Admittedly, you wanted to be comfortable but weren’t sure if you’d make him feel weird by sleeping in your underwear. But if he is… You slide your pants off under the covers, feeling relieved already.
“I’m not a perv,” he asserts, while flipping through the channels and finding nothing you didn’t already skip. “I won’t touch you or anything.”
Before you can stop yourself you find your mouth mumbling, “but what if I want you to.”
He laughs and before turning off the light you notice his face has darkened a few shades of pink.
Ten minutes later he asks, “wait, were you serious?”
After that, you end up talking for half the night while watching infomercials. While you couldn't quite place when it happened, by the time you're falling asleep both of your legs are tangled up together under the covers.
[scroll to continue the story]
Dabi/Touya Todoroki ᝰ⛐
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“It’s fine,” Dabi mumbles, “still more space than sleeping in that van.”
“Yeah,” you remember how you woke up with his arm around you this morning and hope that’s his default sleeping position.
“We’ve been crammed in that thing all day though, I’ll give you space.”
You think to yourself how unnecessary that is, but appreciate the gesture. Unpacking what you do have, you bring your toiletries into the bathroom to brush your teeth. When you come back out, Dabi's wandered off somewhere already.
Not up for much but still not tired enough to go to bed yet, you look at the hotel info sheet to see what’s around here. There is a pool and hot tub on the other side of the building, with seemingly no hours. You strip down to your underwear, everything covers as much as a swimsuit would which is close enough for you. Grabbing a towel and your keycard, you head out the door.
Arriving at the pool, you see you’re not the only one there. Dabi is already sitting in the hot tub, staring up at the stars.
The area is dimly lit, a humming light above casting a warm tint over everything, but at least the water looks well-maintained. You unhook the metal gate fencing the area in, drop your towel on a broken plastic lounge chair, and climb in. The bubbles tickle your legs as you sink into a spot across from him. He flashes you a smile in acknowledgement but stays quiet.
Looking up at the clear night sky, it really is beautiful. You get lost in it until the jets slow to a stop.
“I’ve got it,” he says, already half out of the water by the time you look up.
He’s in his underwear as well, the wet cotton clinging to his body as he walks to the control panel. You try not to notice the way the thin fabric gives you a view of everything. Water drips down his back, over the scars which you now know cover most of his body. The bubbles resume and you promptly look up, pretending to have been staring at the sky the whole time.
When he gets back, he mentions how nice of a night it is and how beautiful it’s been getting out of the city. Small talk turns to more, and before you know it at least an hour has passed, your skin is pruney, and you’re laughing hysterically. Shigaraki Someone yells out of one of the windows at you to be quiet. Glancing at each other, you laugh even harder while grabbing your towels and heading back inside.
You let him take the first shower, knowing it’ll take you a while to scrub the chlorine off your skin. When he comes back out, he’s wearing nothing but his underwear again. Knowing he’ll be sleeping next to you in that hits differently than sitting with him in a hot tub.
“What,” he taunts, walking past you to climb into bed, “nothing you haven’t already seen.”
You hoped he hadn’t noticed you checking him out earlier, but based on the look on his face he doesn’t seem to mind. He makes himself comfortable while you take your turn washing off.
One issue.
The small hair dryer attached to the wall does a slow job of drying your underwear, leaving small damp patches all over the fabric. At some point, you decide it’s good enough and pull them back on along with the shirt you’ve been wearing all week.
Dabi laughs, “I take it there aren’t clothes in the bag.”
“That is correct,” you walk past him, shoving the massive sack under your side of the bed. “But something tells me you already knew that.”
“I had a suspicion,” he smiles and the world melts around you. “Grab one of my shirts to sleep in, you don’t have to dress like a bank robber 24/7.”
Your jaw drops at the bluntness, but he’s not wrong. You go back into the bathroom, changing into the shirt he let you borrow. When you come back out, the lights are off and he appears to be drifting off to sleep. You climb in next to him.
His arms wrap around you and this time you think it’s on purpose.
⛙ Continued ⛙
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According to the alarm clock by the bed, 9:14. Checkout is at 10.
Begrudgingly, you extricate your entwined limbs from his to let him get a few more minutes of sleep. He looks so peaceful and you’d hate to interrupt it. You throw your pants on to see what a free continental breakfast looks like in a place that doesn’t even have wifi.
Making your way through the parking lot, you think back on the conversations you had last night. Life wasn’t necessarily easy prior to this, there’s a reason you’re on the run with nothing but a stolen bag of money and the clothes on your back. He could have pried more when you declined to talk about it, but he didn’t and you’re grateful for that. Honestly, being on the run with the group has been an amazing break from life, feeling more like a vacation than anything else.
That’s partially why you offered to share some of the money (that and the fact that you involuntarily made them all accomplices when they picked you up so you felt like you at least owe them some portion of it.) When you brought it up last night, you could tell he wanted to say no but knows that everyone needs it.
The breakfast is exactly what you expected, but at least it’s a meal. You throw a few pale orange slices on a plate with a pastry and whatever else looks edible. Sitting next to Compress and Magne, you begin eating as everyone else slowly trickles in. There’s an occasional knowing glance at you wearing his shirt, but no one says anything until Toga shows up.
“Ooooooooohh,” she starts before Magne kicks her leg under the table.
After everyone eats their fill (and fills their pockets,) you quickly pack up, and you’re all back on the road again.
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series masterlist - bnha masterlist
taglist: @kitkat13001 @bitchyfestivalbouquet @shigarakislaughter @idkidk32
#dabi x reader#tomura shigaraki x reader#shigaraki x reader#my hero academia x reader#league of villains x reader#dabi x you#shigaraki x you#shigaraki x y/n#dabi x y/n#touya x reader#touya todoroki#shigaraki tomura#tomura shigaraki#dabi mha#bnha x reader#hitching a ride
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Renegade ⋆ ★ Matt Rempe
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Pairings: Matt Rempe x Reader
Genre: angst
Summary: After a heated fight, you finally tell Matt all you’ve been keeping in.
Warnings: none
Word count: 644
⋆˚࿔ tina's note 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ a short blurb of something longer i could write but probably won’t because college sucks, full angst because i'm PMSing and been crying and getting angry at the stupidest things ever (and also not so stupid things because the world sucks rn)
“I don’t know what you want me to do” Matt’s voice is quiet yet the change in volume from your previous shouting match does nothing to ease the situation, in fact, it feels worse
“You never do! And that’s the problem” At this point he’s sitting on the couch while you are leaning on the small dining table in your shared apartment “I moved my life to be here with you and it just feels like we’ve never been further apart” Matt doesn’t say anything, his head is in his hands and you wait and wait for him to say something but nothing comes out so you pick up the bag you had discarded when the fight started and walk towards the door
His hand stops you as you are opening the door “Don’t” he shakes his head “Don’t go”
“Why? Matt, this is not working, we’re not working, it’s breaking us” Your eyes are filled with tears, and although they were tears of rage before, there’s a deep sadness in them now
“Okay, okay yeah, you’re right” He says, an exhausted air coming from him “Things haven’t been great lately and I’m sorry, baby I’m so sorry I haven’t been all you’ve needed me to be and I won’t stop you from leaving right now, not if you really think that’s what we need” You look at him, he looks tired, and he probably is since he had just gotten back from a game before you started fighting, his suit still on “But please come back to me, this whole thing, it’s not us, it’s the timing, maybe it’s the wrong time for us to be together, but I can’t lose you completely”
“Matt” You say, tired as well “I can’t promise you that and you know it, this is not about timing, this has been going on for forever, everytime we fight we just push it down and move on acting like everything is right the next day and we can’t keep doing this, truth is you don’t trust me”
“I do trust you” His words are sharp, defensive
“But you don’t, When was the last time we talked, like actually took a moment to talk about something not superficial? We talk about our days, we talk about my work and we talk about hockey, sometimes we talk about tv shows or tiktoks but we never talk about ourselves” You feel silly saying these words, and that’s the reason you haven’t brought it up before, but you know it’s exactly what you need to talk about right now “You often come in angry after a game and when I ask about it you only say it was a rough game and you don’t want to talk about it, and if I was any other person I would get it because you keep this mask up that you are this big scary enforcer with a massive ego that only cares about winning fights, but I know you Matt, you are so much more than that, and sometimes I wish you would feel comfortable enough to talk to me when you are hurting” The words seem to sink into matt as soon as you speak them “I want to be there for you because I love you, but every time you push me away it kills me a little more so no Matt, this is not about timing, it’s about you not trusting me”
“I-” But he has nothing to say, you’re right and he knows it.
“Matt please, get your shit together so I can love you” With that you let go of his hand and walk out of the door shutting it behind you and not looking back, in the apartment Matt crumbles, he just did it, ruined the best thing in his life because he was too scared to open up.
#nhl fic#matt rempe#matt rempe blurb#matt rempe fic#matt rempe angst#matt rempe x reader#matt rempe x you
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RED MEANS I LOVE YOU
pairings. cho hyun-ju x gn!reader
cw. canon violence, blood, hurt to comfort.
author's note: the hyun-ju hype can't die down guys!! please send some requests but i'm begging atp for u guys to read this beforehand.
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if you could describe what you were seeing for the past few days, it would be that your vision was tainted in red. no matter how much you itch, scratch, wipe, or scrub off— you're bloodied in loss.
it didn't look pretty either. the person you were before is just a mere reflection in the mirror, you wanted to get off whatever island you were on. it's torture, that's for sure, you couldn't even imagine how stupid you were for accepting the concept in the first place. it was too good to be true and you knew it— maybe you did, you're not sure anymore.
although, amongst all the wreck and violence, you were able to find one highlight of the entire experience. no, it wasn't the relief after surviving a round, and it wasn't lunch breaks either.
it was cho hyun-ju.
the tall woman who almost peered over you by a bit. she found you after the break of the first game, she seemed tense— almost afraid, at first, you wondered why she was. it doesn't matter though, she embraced you with open arms and soon a bond began to blossom.
lights out would be spent with whispers about your past and laughs about jokes that lingered far behind your mind. hyun-ju shared stories and tales about her life, your heart beats with empathy and also admiration. she was so brave, kind, intelligent, strong, and trust-worthy. you hope to get through this game with the chances of you two meeting each other again.
"where are you from, hyun-ju?" her own name sent shivers down her skin, you said it with such sincerity. "i'm from gwangmyeong, i've since moved out." her face has a slight smile to it, it seems a bit bitter, "hey, i'm near gwangmyeong! we were long, longggg neighbors!" everything you said seems to lighten her mood even more.
you brought a sense of comfort to hyun-ju, especially in a place like this. you don't know how much she really needed it. she didn't feel the usual gut-wrenching, almost stomach inducing pain she usually does when she's with someone.
though, right now, you could barely think about any of those without panicking or losing your sanity. the games took a twist, another one, if you will. player 456's or gi-hun's plan was clear enough for you to understand, it played off well at first, but now, you were scared out of your head for hyun-ju.
it was impressive to see her lead and teach the others, her combat knowledge seemed incredible, must've been the army. you watched her explain in the comfort of your bed, she didn't take any other answer when she insisted that you stay in the safety of the games dormitories. you couldn't argue with her, it was the last thing you wanted.
you didn't doubt her abilities. she is well-skilled, yet there was an aching knaw that something is wrong. you didn't want to lose her.
but when hyun-ju and the others left the room, you just sat and begged that she would come back un-injured and alive. the group of people near you were supportive, including some other allies you managed to make during the six-legged pentathlon and mingle. without them, you wouldn't be able to be where you are now.
though a small portion of you wished you were somewhere else, you know, preferably your home, but this time; there were no more unexpected knocks, no more piles of letters reminding you of your nail-biting ending (a.k.a getting evicted), and no more stress about the things you could've gotten done earlier in your life— if only you had your path straight then.
your thoughts were snapped when a fellow player went into the room in a state you knew too well. he looked afraid, he was repeating a sentence you couldn't seem to make out, however, soon it became clear what it was. people tried to approach him but you knew better, he needed to calm down and do his part, and their scolding will not help.
your heart wanted to ease down but couldn't when you saw hyun-ju ran in. she wasn't supposed to come back so quickly, it made you sigh— maybe from relief, maybe from dread.
but oh, did the amount of blood on her make you want to puke.
it's sickening, to be surrounded by it too. there are stains of people's death all around the place, you can't even sleep. you haven't been sleeping. not even hyun-ju's touch could bring you back to the slumber you've grown to miss so much.
you stood up from the bed, she was facing player 388, or dae-ho. he was the one who went in, the one who looked absolutely terrified. he was trembling.
she hugged the magazines he collected earlier and she was about to run off again. but her eyes met your glossy and almost tear-filled ones.
"don't go, hyun-ju."
"i have to."
"you're gonna get hurt. you have so much blood on your face, oh gosh," your hand held up near her cheek, it's a hesitant move, but she leans into the touch. you wipe as much as you could off, "don't go, hyun."
she looks back and took a moment to think before looking at you again, she takes a deep breath. "okay, okay. don't get teary-eyed," she smiles, "i'm here, i'll keep you safe."
"okay, then." you were inhaling and exhaling as steady as you could. it still came out shaky, you were almost hyperventilating. "let me, just wipe this off." your hands gently trace the marks on her face, wiping away all the impurities and worries off of her.
#cho hyun ju#cho hyunju#cho hyun-ju#cho hyun ju x reader#cho hyunju x reader#cho hyunju fanfic#hyunju squid game#hyun ju squid game#squid game cho hyunju#squid game hyun ju#squid game player 120#player 120 squid game#player 120 x reader#player 120#squid game#squid game 2#squid game s2#squid game season 2#squid game season two#squid game fanfic#squid game fluff
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Rellana, Twin Moon Knight & Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon
prints ✦ full process on patreon
#elden ring#rennala#rellana#my art#shadow of the erdtree#ngl i don't share fandom's obsession with Rellana and find her character quite lacking#I wish we knew something more about her other than “hehe messmer simp”#bc yes rennalas marriage is a big part of her story but we also know a lot about her in other contexts and before the liurnian wars#which makes her much more interesting to me#bc idk im just not a fan of when in media the whole plot arch of a woman's story resolves around her relationship with a man#and i feel like with other women characters fromsoft did a better job at showing that they are human beings with different agendas etc#so when it comes to Rellana i love the POTENTIAL of what she could be
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Oh cool you're a gamer? Normally I'd claim such a chill and nebulous label for myself, but thanks to a helpful anon I now know instead that the proper term is "piece of shit"
#I always forget the dissonance that comes into play when re-entering a fandom space#It's wild to receive an anonymous hate-ask based on one (1) post from someone I know hasn't engaged with my page before#I'm going to keep this to the tags for the sake of saving space but gd y'all#we have tag filtering for a reason#and I try to be pretty damn good with my tags#if it is inconceivable to you#that I can both love Solas as a character#and also hate actual real life genocide#or that I can have a full list of (very valid btw) critiques of Veilguard#but still harbor love for the franchise (and even parts of Veilguard itself)#then idfk what to tell you?#I'm sorry people are shitty on the internet and I'm sorry I harbor opinions that you hate#but unfortunately I am capable of nuance#I like Solas#I like Sera and Vivienne despite the fact that they sometimes argue with solas because#it#is#a#game#and all that matters to me is compelling narrative for me to lose hours of my life in#I am disappointed by the writing/planning/execution of Veilguard#but I also enjoy the characters in it to the extent of what we've been given and have shared multiple posts communicating exactly that#you think the dwarves and Qunari deserve better?#i could not agree more my guy#i am all ears and angry typing fingers for the subject over here on my little slice on the internet#the people out here (I'm talking about an extreme sect of fans here so if you feel called out I suggest examining why)#(because for the most part I don't mean you and you shouldn't feel guilty)#who are creating this binary of “all positive” or “all negative” are absolutely wild for that#I can like and dislike this game#and I wish this anon luck in better curating what they'd like their feed to be
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(from this video)
#not a confession#helluva boss#the fact that they even mentioned Chaz just made me screech mentally#because... you know. if you've read my oneshot you know#but yes exactly. I also tie back to him the fact that Millie was so serious and untrusting during the flashback#(to be fair. being a mercenary is cutthroat business. but even while fighting and killing she seems a lot goofier nowadays)#how the timeline works in my head is#affair in Wrath. Chaz bounces to another ring and breaks her heart. she stays home for a while after that before moving to the city in Prid#she could've had her walls up out of a sense that the city slickers would only betray her#Chillie seems significant to me bc we've SEEN just how MUCH it takes for Millie to snap when it comes to loved ones and their bullshit#let alone turn from loving affection to seething murderous hatred#so you KNOW that whatever happened between her and Chaz WOUNDED her. or at least offended in a huge way idk#someone on AO3 wrote it so he cheated on her with her sister. like yeah that could do the job alright#though that does imply she loved him which is easily the biggest plot hole here. like. look at that thing#what is there to love#about Chazwick Thurman#he's an embarrassing roach with a dick complex#(also my girl Sallie would never have standards that low. please. she's also a lesbian now but that's another thing)#tbf Chaz and Blitzo are quite similar... except Blitzo has way less shallow writing... I wonder if that could be explored#her currently being so close to someone who is in theory strongly reminiscent of her ex. putting up with so much from him too#ah but I shan't keep talking Chillie. we'd be here all night if I tried to explain all my mental lore#isn't it funny how I've thought so much about them despite despising S02e03 and becoming physically ill by Chaz's sceentime#on my first watch#and then never watching it again#it's just the Concept of him alright. like shared ex of M&M who's a conman a loser a former mafia goon & whores himself to survive#who are you and how did you get here#plus the fact that he's a shark bc sharks are so cool. did you know threshers harm and even kill prey by whipping them with their tails#wish we could've seen that#I love it when anthros have their animal traits acknowledged#wow the tags here really derailed from the original screenshot. ignore them please 🙏
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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
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the apartmentverse urge to make the assassins weird immortals due to interacting with the apple who all survive to the modern day and have to Deal with mundane things like public transport…
#they should have a support group about it#ezio would start it. im not sure how high attendance is. probably not very high or consistent.#but like they do have it. technically. they can find the few others who understand what the price of interacting with the pieces of eden was#they’re probably much more The Old Guard than apartmentverse technically but i do need to make altaïr and ezio just hang out. maybe go#through a mcdonalds drive through together. get some mcnuggets.#still covered in blood but it’s dark out so the employees don’t see as they hand their food off. and they climb on top of a warehouse to eat#together. i don’t think they’re… friends? in the way you’d think of friends normally but its more like. when you go to primary school with#someone and they become your friend because you have such a limited pool of options but they’re your friend for life because of that shared#experience. ezio & altaïr are that but for being forced into immortality when they both wish they could have left this fight a long long#time ago and now everyone else they’ve known and loved are gone and they’ve even lost track of their descendants because well. after a while#there’s just… so many.#the other assassins should go through this too. i genuineky dont remember if bayek found any eden artifacts but i like him so he should be#around. and maybe his wife. evie & jacob of course. and the ac3 protag i havent met yet.#also that pirate guy. i played ac4 for five minutes ten years ago but im claiming him he should be around#the point is. when you’ve been around this long. all the other disagreements pale in comparison to that shared weight.#and the point of THAT is. if the templars ever found out about this and kidnapped one of their group. suddenly like a dozen assassins with#hundreds of years of experience each descend on them to free their friend.#they may not be able to dismantle the templars completely even working together. but they can sure as hell protect what’s theirs.#the other point of this is desmond getting accepted into this weird little group.#they’re not *not* also a cult to be fair but-#ohhhhhh thinks about 16 year old fresh runaway desmond on ezio’s couch (he likes having his own place. so sue him. altaïr’s the one opposed#to settling down. like it’ll come back to bite him to choose a home. (and ezio’s in denial that having a home will always one day mean#leaving it.)) and *anyway* teenage desmond fresh off the farm and months without a home. probably *not* agreeing to be brought home with#ezio per say. and altaïr is there because ezio kidnapping children is *weird* and maybe altaïr is not technically the oldest assassin but#he sure does seem to take responsibility for all their actions like he is. anyway. he questions ezio. and all ezio has to say in his defense#is. is. ‘look at him.’#and for now. before they know *who* desmond is. for now he has a spot on ezio’s couch because he looks so much like a younger altaïr.#the end of the world and all the prophecy can come later and desmond *probably* gave ezio a fake name so he can also freak out when they#learn that little detail as well. BUT. but. you get it#ive rambled on too much here
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can we come together as a community and be honest with ourselves .. because i’m tired of seeing everything turned into an egg roll. not everything needs to be an egg roll
#i also don’t like how asian cuisine (which i am reducing down to ‘asian cuisine’ to make a point; i know it’s not one thing) is currently#being popularized into popular cuisine in a way i don’t like. just as mexican food became trendy with millennials i feel that asian cuisine#is being boiled down and capitalized upon for gen z#in a way i don’t like. because it doesn’t come with increased cultural awareness or understanding it’s just ‘oh my god i loveeeee#kimchi and butter chicken yummmm’#not that we shouldn’t share cuisine or culture or anything; just that i wish it came with more respect and history#cuisine is very informed by historical events and is an excellent indicator of cultural change#and i wish that was in the common awareness rather than just treating asian people like they’re someone you want to learn to cook from. may#be get to know them personally before you ask for their grandmothers kimchi recipe when they are not korean like. augh#also i don’t like how people think chinese food is poor people food and not high quality and full of cultural significance. u can’t say you#love asian culture and their spirituality and their food and then hate chinese people and make racist comments ab them#ik it’s in idiot american nature to be like AHHHH CHINA!!!! but stop. stop .#just like people don’t respect mexicans more now after their cuisine was popularized i don’t think asian people will gain more respect eithe#because people aren’t after you or your culture they’re after what’s on your table on special occasions#because no one wants peasant food. i saw someone post their rice and beans with egg the other day and the comments were so hateful like lol#u don’t know mexicans if you think a normal ass meal is gross or something that’s just how people eat normally#anyway. sorry for yapping i just love food#lmk if anything i said was inappropriate i am not exempt from being an idiot american#knight rambles
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ive decided that my newest hobby is mixology this is who i am now
#i just made such a good shaken passionfruit daiquiri i can not stress enough how good this is#i would make another one but i forgot to make ice before i started so i barely had enough for the first one rip#winter came n i switched from ice coffees to hot ones and forgot to make ice for god knows how long apparently#yapping#anyway im tired of having to drink beer when ppl come over n we all drink i dont even like beer#i like my silly little cocktails and now i dont have to pay a fortune to have them YIPPEEE#i love how im acting as if ive never made cocktails before when i used to work as a literal bartender for like half a year AHHAHAHA#i dont drink a lot to be clear sometimes i wont touch alcohol for over a month it rly depends on the vibes of the functions i guess#also not a big fan of drinking by myself ngl#but i think sharing cocktails with dani and shady would be so fun actually#were thinking of having a jojo part 6 watch party with cocktails with the three of us yay !!!!#in the time ive sat here going “aw i dont have any ice :^(” my freezer would have made new ice by now#but yeah im still learning what i like taste wise i guess! but so far im sticking to what i know i like#so... mojito. pina colada. daiquiri... those vibes#i like cosmopolitans as well but i didnt buy shit to make those (i do have to be mindful of having a budget i guess.. maybe next month)#im talking too much rn but. point is. this is fun and cute and i like it#wish i had more than one cocktail glass i guess#but danis a 192cm clumsy man who keeps breaking any fragile glasses i own when he washes the dishes#but i refuse to wash the dishes myself so ill just buy new ones#he cant even fit his hand in my champagne glasses and i still insist on him washing them.. maybe i am the problem actually 😐
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I'm having one of those "I wish I could just be part of the Astral Express crew" moments
#rambling rambling rambling#i know being part of the astral express would have its own challenges and all but#sometimes i wish i could just be there and suddenly feel safe#i like everyone in the crew so much and I guess anyone in it can bring me comfort somehow so#I crave being accepted and I believe they would do it with no doubt nor hesitation#and my honkai s/i being probably the most similar to me s/i makes it even easierrr for me to wish to be there#because that's basically me#being there and being supported and living happily and having others to rely on nearby and being themself and being loved for it and and#and i want that#ugh the struggle#Welt pls come home#ive had a long evening and tomorrow i'll have a long morning idk what im saying at this point im just tired#i just wanna exist peacefully ig#no rush no judgement no negative expectations#also I wanna share blankets with March and Dan Heng#and Stelle too I love her but almost never add her in my imagines because I think I would join the crew before her soooo i havent thought+#much about meeting trailblazer and all of that as my s/i#I wanna be in the Astral Express so bad#I wanna look at the stars and share blankets as we continue our eternal travel#together#as nothing more nor less than family#im so tired#n is talking#vent#ig?#cw vent#tw vent
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