#i wish this would work
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wish abled people would understand fluctuating disabilities more. i told my boss my knee was better today than friday and she's like "I'm glad it's slowly getting better" but it's not Getting Better, it's just having a good day (and tbh it's worse now than it was when I said that) and tomorrow it'll probably be unable to bear my weight again. like. stop thinking of these things as a straight line progression because they're not and I'm tired to having to explain every bad day like it's some bigass new problem when it's just. the nature of these things
#i also wish adobe acrobat would stop freezing on me because it's like the whole reason i came in today#bc i dont have acrobat at home#and it's being so shit I can't actually do any work#painblogging#disability
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Bad: I donât think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like⌠The real raw mental impact, so Iâm gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with â like your best friend â BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what thatâs like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I donât think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: Iâm not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. Iâd do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because â even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that â because it was just⌠It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript â ]
âââ
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, likeâ but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chatâ here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I donât think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like⌠The real raw mental impact, so Iâm gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy Iâve given to every person who Iâve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebodyâ [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anywayâ Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I saidâ I was giving them an analogy.Â
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were⌠playing Minecraft, with likeâ you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, âHey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies â theyâre currently your best friend, Chip â but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.â Can you imagine what thatâs like, Chip?
I donât think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? Iâm not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but itâ Chip â but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where youâre second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! Youâre thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And thatâs the problem, Chipâ is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you donât understand Chipâ I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chipâ mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But hereâs the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. Iâm genuinely likeâ
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one dayâ I was like, âIâm going to move pastââ here, letâs go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, âIâm gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like Iâll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesnât have to be underground.â But I donât think itâs possible now Chip, because I think⌠I just donât know. I feel like the paranoiaâ thereâs still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But hereâs the problem Chip: I donât think I donât thinkâ I donât think people understand it. Like, I just really donât. But I also donât blame them Chip, âcuz I donât think itâs possible to fully understand it if you havenât lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP⌠Iâm talking about the QSMP, I donât- I donât know if that was obviousâ if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I donât think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I donât think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, itâs just one of those things thatâ
[Heâs interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming outâŚ? But anyway, Chip. Thatâs the food for thought.
But thatâs the problemâ Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But thatâs the pointâ Iâm not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. Iâd do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.Â
[He falls down] Dangit, donât come over here Chip, âcuz Iâm coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because â even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that â because it was just⌠It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wiâ I donât think itâs ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I donât think itâs ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Because⌠because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, likeâ itâs sort of emotionally like⌠Itâs emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through thatâ and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to aâ see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, Iâll talk it over with them and be like, âHey, what do you think about this?â Because I genuinely think on one level, likeâ itâs created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, itâs- itâs a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still likeâ there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didnât want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I donât regret it, and I donât think it was a bad experience. IâmâÂ
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that youâre like, âYou know what, maybe this wasnât a good thing that this happened,â but at the same point, you still arenât necessarily upset about it, because⌠itâs like growing as a person, right? Hereâs the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Likeâ
Even if youâre going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesnât mean that only bad things have to come from that. Thatâs one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be thatâ you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think thereâs a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, youâre not the only person whoâs experienced it. You know what I mean?
#Badboyhalo#BBH#Bad#QSMP#January 8 2025#Edited#I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks#Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing#This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic#Tumblr exclusive#Anyways business aside â that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That#Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying#I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got#Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange#I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom#But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole#It's a complicated feeling#I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here#It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating#We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too#I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears#I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently#If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication#I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust#And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community#I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot
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Hello Madam. Sorry Madam.
[First] Prev <â-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#madam jin#jin zixuan#jiang yanli#'Hey what is WWX trying to do here?' some kind of grab-and-twist maneuver that would be very upsetting to watch.#I know LWJ technically assists WWX in this scene in terms of blocking someone's blow on his behalf -#- but let's be honest. Real friends stop you from doing the truly stupid things.#Or maybe it was envy. Penis envy. The non-freudian kind.#Regardless...man this whole scene was just full of âand then someone else walks inâ.#I swear to god every cultivator who is supposed to be hunting ends up wandering into this part of the woods.#a bonus for me because it gives me several good joke opportunities.#Madam Jin gets top prize for best entrance and exit. I wish her all the best. And a divorceâŚmadam please leave himâŚ#And can we please address the horses? I love horses. But why...why do they ride in on horses when they HAVE FLYING SWORDS?#I can only imagine it is for the dramatic flair? It just feels so jarring hearing someone clip clop in#and then another person swoop in on a sword.#The rules of mdzs's world can get fuzzy and I have to nod in an impressed manner at how much MXTX gets away not explaining.#Maybe the sword gets tired after a while and they need to give it a break? Maybe there is a sword union that dictates working hour limits?#âŚWould that make Chenqing a scab? Oh god it would⌠unions *hate* this flute!
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Have you ever been curious about the EnStars MC Anzu, what she does in EnGirls and EnStars, and what information we could gather about her from each story?
For Paradise's 10th Anniversary, I made an "Anzu Story Breakdown doc" where you can read what she does & any info about her in each storyđ¸âď¸âźď¸ (twitter post)
(currently doesn't contain EnStars stories, but they are in progress and will be added once they are finished per year)
09.14.24 - Added EnGirls and extra materials 09.15.24 - Added story names in the outline for easier navigation 10.08.24 - Added the following ES! stories: Marching Band, Sweets, Duel, Hero Show, Tanabata Festival, Pool Opening, Test of Courage, Restaurant, Quarrel Festival, Holiday, First Shrine Visit, Amusement Park Show, WANTED!!!, Robin Hood, Passionate Carmen, Sweet Halloween, Beasts, Buddy
#mh talks#ensemble stars#ensemble girls#engirls#enstars#anzu enstars#anzu ensemble stars#i kinda felt like posting it on tumblr too just for archiving purposes#made specifically for anyone who wants to know how much anzu there is in engirls but can't be bothered to read the stories#i did the homework for the team o7#i wish i could have finished the Era ! part before her unofficial birthday but theres just so much going on for me in sept-oct that i just#can't find the time to read#did i make this most specifically bc i hate how people throw tomatoes at reika and sakura for causing her to transfer when they#regret it with all their hearts and anzu doesn't even hate them for it? mayhaps#if i had a nickel for every time i made a Reading-related document for my brown haired girl fixation i would have two nickels#yeah i know the engirls section is missing 7 stories IM WORKING ON IT!!!
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about illario working with the venatori, we can't forget that elgar'nan gifted him blood magic, so I do think that he somewhat influenced him and that's why he's so much more vindictive and jealous in comparison to tevinter nights. I don't mean that he's being mind controlled, but it's a bit like cyrian, a god just amplifying those negative emotions in you and promising power and glory can push a person to that edge and to make stupid af decisions.
im also not forgetting that zara line in inner demons where she talks about an envy demon. like. why an envy demon in specific...there's THINGS between zara and illario that were not shown
no literally if you get me talking about illario + envy + the possibility of getting him possessed, you will have me here for fucking ever. a non mage doing blood magic (any magic at all) is really weird and interesting to me and i donât remember an example of this happening before (feel free to correct me tho lol. iâm discounting possessions and dwarves)
i had started wildly theorising after bloodbath that he had been possessed and he was tapping into the fade using an envy demon. especially like you said, zara mentions it, AND because i swear thereâs a codex in the ossuary where it mentions an envy demon whereas spite is obviously determination, right? so i thought it was a breadcrumb trail to a big âillario is being influenced and doesnât even knowâ revealâ same as you anon like great minds am i rightâ but iâm not sure there is actually any evidence of that lol. like maybe if you squint but i do believe it was explained away by âoh yeah, and elgarnan let him do special blood magicâ
it does also make sense to me that illario can only control lucanis, due to being part of the same family. a bloodline thing, and it is very poetic to me that their shared family connection in caterina is what allows him to control lucanis, even for a moment lol. spite being the extra magical boost that lucanis needs to block that out ALSO makes sense to me so iâm not too fussed abt these details lolđ¤
the envyllario in my heart also gets spectral weapons for himself. lucanis gets wings, illario gets talons, PLUS green-purple are complementary colors so it would have been really fun to see them clash with their spirit/demon-powers. the talon thing is also a kind of reflection of his end-goal desire, how envy demons already have those freaky hands, and it manifests as claws and is a much more aggressive, strength-augmenting manifestation (as opposed to manoeuvrability and speed-augmenting that spiteâs wings give lucanis.) anyways that's what the diagram above is supposed to be (this is extremely hot to me)
#have been waiting all day to get out of work to draw what i have not stopped rotating in my head#also drawing is not totally clear yes that is lucanis using one hand to hold back illario trying to claw at him yayyyyyyy#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#my art#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#sorry. i was going to reply to this yesterday but my friend finished the lucanis questline#we were discussing this for a bit so the reply is a little more in depth and thought out#also both of the remaining dellamorte heirs both being possessed is fun to ME .#forget house dellamorte being cooked we HAVE to make sure theyâre burning and smoking and potentially even on fire#i wish we got to make the crows actually confront what a possessed heir would mean#but that is largely overshadowed in the game by caterinaâs kidnapping#and also feels underused because nothing of note goes terribly bad#he doesnât even draw any blood when spite tries to kill illario#truly wish lucanispite would have gone out of control and killed someone. idk who tho#maybe. lol. jacobus come here. i need you to die tragically
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here we go :) part one of three, updates to be released weekly!
---
sam says 4 (game master cinematic universe, part 3)
Ruby was at her mum's for a family dinner she couldn't miss on pain of death, apparently, and the Doctor was many things, but a family dinner kind of guy wasn't one of themâparticularly when Carla had already slapped him once in the short time he'd known her. He thought he'd broken his streak of bad luck with mums, but⌠well, seemingly not. So he was companionless for a few hours, and while he could wait for her to get back, maybe catch up on his readingâwhat was the point of waiting when you had a time machine?Â
He ran his hands over the TARDIS console, marvelling at her clean lines and metallic flourishes, the way that even now she felt brand new but familiar, and paused. Heâd just pop off for a quick adventure, nothing too dangerous, butâwhere to go?
He could scan for a distress call nearby, and pitch in to help. He could drop in on Donna and Shaun and Rose, beautiful Rose, and see how they were all doing. Or he could just hit the randomiser button, and jump in feet first wherever he ended up.
He remembered a conversation from a long time ago, when he wore a different face, and his gorgeous TARDIS wore a face too, for the first and only time.
âYou didn't always take me where I wanted to go.â
âNo, but I always took you where you needed to go.â
He grinned. Who could resist an offer like that? He pressed the button and whooped as the time rotor spun into action, ready to see where the universe would take him.
---
Apparently, he was needed pretty close to where he already was. Earth, 2024. Huh. Same planet, same timeâwithin a few months of where heâd left Ruby, even. The main thing that had changed was the location: he was now in the good old US of A. California, to be more specific, and Los Angeles to be more specific still. And to really narrow it down, the Doctor discovered as he poked his head out of the TARDIS doors, he was in⌠a broom closet. Not bad, as a parking spotâa bit squeezy, but out of the way. And as he poked his head out of that door, he could finally see he was in the backstage corridors of a studio of some kind. Film or TV, if he was to hazard a guess, it was a different vibe from Abbey Road.
With a shrug, he decided to go exploring.
It couldnât have been more than a minute before a young woman wearing the full-black outfit, headset, and permanently stressed expression of a production assistant came running up to him.
âAre you the fill-in Sam organised?â she asked breathlessly, and honestly, seeing the look on her face, the Doctor didnât have the heart(s) to tell her no. And really, what was the Doctor, if not a professional fill-in? This, this was why he had a randomiser button on the control panel, because whatever he was about to get himself into was going to be fun.
âSure!â
âOh, thank god,â sighed the production assistant, relief dawning across her face. âWhen Ally tested positive this morning, I thought we were sunk for the record, because we called around and we couldnât get a hold of anyone. But then Sam said he could get someone in, and, you know, here you are, and just in time, soâah, yeah, if you could follow me this way?â
Smiling all the way, the Doctor followed his guide through to hair and makeup, looking around as they went. The studio seemed to belong to a company called Dropout, according to the branding scattered around, and things seemed, at least on the surface, to be⌠well. Fine. He couldn't tell why he'd been brought here yet, which meant that when he found the reason, it was going to be particularly tangled. He couldn't wait!Â
And then he looked back at his guide, still engulfed in a miasma of anxiety, and realised he'd been too busy looking for clues to notice the person right in front of him.Â
âHey, it's cool, you've found me,â he started with a gentle smile. âYou can relax. Hi, I'm the Doctor. What's your name?â
âOh!â she said, startled. âThe Doctor, yeah, of course. Um, hi, I'm Kaylin. Look, sorry, it's just that I've been so busy this morning, I'm so distracted⌠Shit, and I would've completely forgotten to get your details too. There's paperwork to fill in, but you can do that later. Um, just for now, though, can I get your pronouns?â
The Doctor thought for a moment. âHe/him, for now.â
Kaylin nodded, making a note on her phone. âOkay, cool! And do you have any socials?â
âNot me, babes,â he replied. âI'm hardly sitting down long enough to be able to update, you know?â
âOn a day like this, I know exactly what you mean,â she said. âThat's okay, Lou didn't have socials either for the longest time. Right, so if you go through there, the team will get you sorted, and once you're done, someone will take you up to the greenroom. All good?â
âAll great,â the Doctor replied. Kaylin flashed him a quick, relieved smile, then hurried off.
Hair and makeup was a fairly quick process, the sound mixer fitted him with a microphone, and before too long, Kaylin was back to take him upstairs.Â
âThis is the greenroom,â she said, pushing the door open. âThe rest of the cast for the episode are already hereâtheyâre great guys, and theyâve both been on the show a lot, so theyâll be able to help if youâve got questions. And if you need anything else, just come find me or any of the other PAs, okay?â
The Doctor nodded, beamed at Kaylin, and walked in.
---
The greenroom was small but comfortable, and its occupants, two men around the same age as the Doctor appeared, looked up as he entered.
âOh, youâre new,â the taller of the pair said, clearly giving him the once-over.
The other sighed with a mixture of fondness and exasperation, just as clearly used to his friendâs antics.
âHey, Iâm Brennan,â he said, levering himself up to standing from his perch on a chair arm, and holding out a hand. âThatâs Grant.â
The Doctor took it warmly. âThe Doctor. Just passing through, and happy to help.â
Grantâs eyebrows quirked. âDoctor⌠something?â he prompted.
âOr is it just âthe Doctorâ?â Brennan asked.
âJust âthe Doctorâ,â the Time Lord confirmed cheerfully. âYouâll get used to it, everyone does.â
Grant didnât look convinced, butâ
âCopy that,â Brennan shrugged, and settled back on the arm of the chair, returning his gaze to the door.
Grant, in turn, looked at the Doctor and rolled his eyes in a clear expression of âno, I donât know why heâs like this, eitherâ.
âOkay,â the Doctor said after a moment of watching the watching. âI wasnât going to ask, but now I think I have to. Whatâs up with the door?â
Brennan huffed a laugh. âWell, the last time there was one of those upââ he pointed to the Out of Order sign stuck to the bathroom door, ââwe got locked in here for the game.â
âHeâs paranoid,â Grant interjected.
âWell, yeah, maybe,â Brennan retorted. âOr just cautious. Because Samâs been acting weird lately, and weâre coming up to the last few records of the season, so heâs probably planning something way out of the box for the finale. And the original cast was you, me and Beardsley, soâŚâ
He shrugged one shoulder meaningfully, and Grant nodded, conceding both the point and the potential for chaos.
âSo if Sam comes in to give us the briefing, rather than waiting til weâre on set,â Brennan continued, âor thereâs anything else weird going on, Iâm gonna know about it right from the beginning.â
He turned to the Doctor. âThe only reason I'm not quizzing you is because I know for a fact Beardsley was genuinely scheduled for this, so you can't be a plant by the production team. No offence.â
âNone taken,â the Doctor smiled. âThat sort of thing happen often, does it?â
Grant and Brennan exchanged a look.Â
âMore than you'd think,â Grant answered with a grimace.Â
âAlright,â the Doctor said slowly, then brightened. âSo what is it we're actually doing?â
Grant gave him a disbelieving glance. âYou don't knowâ?â
âVery last minute fill-in,â the Doctor said breezily. âBut don't worry, I'm a quick study.â
âWell, you're not that much worse off than the rest of us,â Brennan said encouragingly. âYou know about Game Changer, obviously, if you know Sam, and we only find out the rules of the game once we get on set. Hopefully,â he added, with a dark look back at the Out of Order sign.Â
The Doctor nodded. No, he didn't know Sam, and he didn't know Game Changer, but he could work out the situation from context clues. This was a game show. And with the Toymaker banished, and Satellite Five not coming into existence for another 198000 years, give or take, he found himself smiling. Maybe third time would be the charm.Â
âMmm, hopefully they aren't going to throw you in the deep end,â Grant said. âBecause Brennan might seem lovely now, but as soon as we get out there, he's a whore for points. He'll stab you in the back and won't even blink.â
Brennan barked with laughter. âYeah, and you wouldn't?â
âExcuse you, I'm always a goddamn delight,â Grant replied, the very picture of injured dignity.Â
âOh, absolutely!â agreed a new voice. The Doctor turned to the now-open door to see a bearded man in a pinstriped suit smiling broadly. âThat's why we keep inviting you back!â
Grant bowed sarcastically. âWhy, thank you, Sam. Good to know I'm appreciated by someone here.â
âAlways,â Sam replied, gently but firmly ending that particular path of the conversation. He scanned the room, and his eyes lit up when they landed on the Doctor.Â
âAh, you must be the Doctor!â he said with obvious delight, walking over with his hand outstretched. âI'm Samâthanks for filling in for us, you've made sure we're going to have a good show. Seriously, it's a pleasure to have you here.â
âAw, cheers!â the Doctor smiled, shaking the offered hand. âGlad I could help out, I'm really looking forward to this!â
âWell, great!â Sam exclaimed, then took a step back, regarding all three players in turn. âNow, folks, I'm just letting you know that we're just about ready to start the record, so if you can start heading down, that'd be great.â
Grant and Brennan noddedâBrennan, the Doctor noticed, with relief.Â
âSee you down there,â Sam said, smiling. âHave a great show, andââ
His eyes caught on the Doctor's for a second, twinkling.Â
âGood luck.â
---
Backstage, the Doctor, Brennan and Grant were marshalled into podium order and given a final briefing from the crew. And then, with a thumbs-up from Kaylin, that was it.
Showtime.
âGet ready for a Game Changer!â came Sam's voice from onstage. âTonightâs guests: he can shoot off a monologue with laser accuracy; itâs Brennan Lee Mulligan!â
Brennan, his back to the camera as the curtains opened, spun on his heel and, with a stone-cold expression, pointed finger guns straight down the barrel, before letting the facade crack open. âHi!â he exclaimed, and walked over to the leftmost podium.
âItâs his first appearance, but heâs already on fire; itâs the Doctor!â
The Doctor leant against the archway to the stage and flashed a broad smile towards the camera, then in a few skipping steps, had bounded over to the next free podium. What the hell, why not make an entrance?
âAnd even in the toughest of mazes, youâll always be able to find him; itâs Grant OâBrien!â
Grant dipped his lanky frame into an approximation of a curtsey, spreading his arms wide, then sauntered over to the closest podium with a grin.
âAnd your host, me!â Sam announced, a ring of manic white showing around his irises as he beamed down the barrel of the camera. âIâve been here the whole time!â
âThis,â he continued, pushing his microphone shut and stowing it in his jacket pocket, âis Game Changer, the only game show where the game changes every show. I am your host, Sam Reich!âÂ
As he said his name, he looked at his hands, front and back, as if he was pleasantly surprised to be himself, then gestured towards the three podiums.
âI am joined today by these three lovely contestants! Now, you understand how the game works.â
âOf course not,â Grant started. âYou know we don't.â
âWe can't, Sam, that's the whole point of the theatre you've set up here,â Brennan said over him.Â
âNot yet,â was all the Doctor said, anticipation starting to drum a tattoo of excitement against the inside of his ribcage.Â
âThatâs right!â Sam said brightly, shooting finger guns at the camera. âOur players have no idea what game it is theyâre about to play. The only way to learn is by playing. The only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning! So without further ado, letâs begin by giving each of our players fifty points.â
The Doctor, biding his time, watched the reactions of his fellow contestants. Grant looked at the front of his podium, checking the point total, and nodding approvingly when he saw that yes, it was sitting at a round fifty. Brennan, on the other hand, was starting to frown.
âPlayers, Sam says: touch your nose,â Sam began, and Brennan sighed the sigh of someone who wasnât happy to be proved right.
âOh, no,â he groaned. âOh, you son of a bitch. Wasnât one this season enough?â
He touched his nose anyway, as did the others, and Sam smiled encouragingly. âSam says: touch your ear.â
When they all did, Sam nodded. âTouch your other ear.â
Everybody held still, fingers on the ears they had originally touched.
Sam beamed. âEasy, players, right?â
âYou say that now,â Brennan said darkly. âWhich makes it worse, because all you're doing is setting us up for failure.â
Sam gasped, pretending offence. âWould I do that?â
âYes,â Brennan and Grant replied in unison, which drew a grin from the Doctor and set Sam off chuckling.
âAnd I'm not having it,â Brennan continued, leaning his elbows against his podium and pointing at Sam with the hand not touching his ear. âYou better watch yourself, because I know how this game works, and you're not going to get one over on me.â
âStrong words, Brennan!â Sam said, clearly delighted by this response. âOkay, then, let's start making things a bit more interesting!â
The game continued as per Sam Says usual, some rounds done as a group and some individual. Points were won, sure, but lost slightly more frequently, and even the Doctor found he was having to concentrate to avoid getting caught in the host's traps.Â
It was fun. Genuinely, it was like playing a game with friends, and the Doctor felt himself leaning into it. There wasn't any sign of dangerâmaybe there wasn't a mystery to solve at all, and the TARDIS just decided he needed a total break.Â
Well, probably not. But the way things were going, he was able to let himself hope.Â
âAlright, players,â Sam said a good few rounds in, just as pleasantly as he would start any other question, and the screen behind him dinged as a new prompt popped up. âSurvive the death beam.â
For a second, everything was frozen perfectly still.Â
And then came the crash, the explosive noise of heavy machinery moving relentlessly through a drywall set.
The Doctor was already moving. âEveryone down!â
âDuck!â Brennan yelled at the same time.
The two of them hit the ground within milliseconds of each other, but Grant was still paralysed in the face of the giant, science-fiction type laser cannon that had just ploughed through the wall.Â
It whined ominously, screaming its way to fever pitch. And then a sharp pain in Grantâs ankle made him stagger, pitching forwards onto the carpet behind the podiums as the Doctor rolled away to avoid getting pinned.
âSorry, babes,â the Doctor whispered. âBut it was either kick you to get you down, orââ
A hideous metallic screech ripped through the air, and all three of them could feel the crackle of ozone as a beam of energy swept across what had, moments ago, been neck height.
ââŚOr that,â the Doctor finished with a grimace.
âJesus fucking Christ,â Grant breathed, suddenly very conscious of every inch of his 6â9 frame. âThanks.â
âWell done, players!â Sam exclaimed delightedly from above them. âBut⌠sorry, I didnât say âSam saysâ, so thatâs a point off for everyone.â
âWhat the fuck!â Brennan snapped.
âAre you actually insane?â Grant demanded at the same time, his voice overlapping with Brennanâs.
In response, Sam just wheezed with laughter. âYou can come back to your podiums,â he said, cheerfully ignoring them.
Nobody moved.
âVery good!â he acknowledged, and even without seeing his face, the grin was obvious in his voice. âOkay, Sam says: come back to your podiums.â
Although the words were innocuous, and his tone was just as light and breezy as usual, there was nevertheless an edge hiding just underneath the surface. And while the death beam loomed large in the minds of all three players, it was impossible to consider disobedience as an option.
Slowly, they stood, returning to their places. Now they had the time to look at it properly, the death beam was even more sinister, and Brennan and Grant both kept flicking nervous glances its way, ready to move if it looked like it was charging up again.
The Doctor, however, was focused purely on the man standing in front of them. Unbothered, Sam met his gaze like a challenge, a mischievous smile playing about his lips.
âOh, youâll love this one,â he said, and the screen changed. âSam says, starting with Grant: say my name.â
Grant frowned in confusion, but answered quickly nonetheless. âSam Reich?â
The man himself shrugged tolerantly, moving on. âBrennan?â
Brennan just stared at him coolly. âDo you take me for a fool?â
âWell caught, Brennan!â Sam said happily. âSam says: say my name.â
âSam,â Brennan replied, suspicion clear in his voice. âSamuel Dalton Reich.â
He nodded, still with a hint of indifference. âAnd lastly, Doctor.â His smile broadened. âSam says: say my name.â
It was easy. Too easy. And as the Doctor looked into the eyes of the man calling himself Sam Reich, he felt his hearts stutter in recognition, because something had changed. He wasnât hiding himself anymore, and while the face was different yet again, the Doctor would know the shape of that soul anywhere. It was impossible. It was inevitable.
âYou canât be,â he breathed.Â
Sam smirked, leaning in across his podium. âOh, but Doctor⌠Iâve been here the whole time,â he stage-whispered with a wink.
âHe said you lost,â the Doctor said, shaking his head, looking wrong-footed for the first time that Brennan and Grant could recall. âYou lost, and he trapped you.â
The other two watched, uncomprehending, but Sam just smiled, drumming his fingers against the podium with an audible beat, fast but distinct. Four taps, four taps, four taps. âIâm waiting.â
The Doctor took a slow, deep breath. Set his jaw.Â
âMaster.â
---
missed an installment of the game master cinematic universe?
original idea by @ace-whovian-neuroscientist: x
art by @northernfireart concept: x scissor sisters sketch: x sam and his doppelganger: x
writing by me (!) part one (escape the greenroom): x part two (deja vu): x part three (sam says 4): you are here!
#game master#sam reich!master#doctor who#dw#dropout#game changer#you know what let's chuck some character tags in here#15th doctor#the master#sam reich#brennan lee mulligan#grant o'brien#kaylin mahoney#clari speaks#clari writes#ah darlings i'm putting my chat down here rather than in the post body for once#so i've thought of this whole saga as 'part three' but i will be a) titling them all and b) just keeping on numbering the parts sequentiall#rather than 'part three part one' etc#otherwise we're getting into homestuck act titling territory and that is ground i do not wish to tread#also fuck i hope i've got the time zones right#i'm planning to post this when an episode of game changer would ordinarily be released. to plug the gap. to tide us over.#(the finale trailer is so delightfully unhinged and i cannot wait til next week)#anyway gang this one was wild#the slight but significant genre shift from 'game changer with doctor who elements' to 'doctor who with game changer elements'#it was fun to write! and hopefully fun to read :)#also i MUST say that eugene northernfireart has a baller comic in the works that this entire thing is based on#this is thousands of words of setup and continuation because the sketch idea was so good it possessed me#and we decided that it had to be a proper dw episode#(hey rtd hire me pls)#anyway eugene is on hiatus bc of life so in the meantime go give him love and be Fuckin Hyped for the comic when it appears bc i know i am
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I have been sketching. So much tma. Here's some expansions on my Jon and Martin designs I've been doing.
Another note I forgor to mention is I love how after hearing Simon go "it's enough to make your hair turn white" about Martin's office in s4 many of us collectively agreed his hair turned white because of his association with the Lonely. The shared consciousness is real and we use it to play hot potato with the communal brain cell dedicated to the sillies.
Closeup of apocalypse boyfriends (also to the person who said they love my s5 Jon's fancy white girl updo: I think about that every day)
#s5 Jon in his white girl era#whatever the fuck that means#I'm still not done w the archives cuz busy n stuff but Jon needs to let Martin know wtf goin on#God may work in mysterious ways but you do not have to. Communicate with your man please#my art#the magnus archives#tma fanart#tma#tma season 5#tma spoilers#jonathan sims#tma podcast#martin blackwood#tma jmart#jmart#jmart fanart#jonmartin#there's so much going on in these and I am not sorry welcome to my chaotic mind#hope y'all read the tags cuz I need to announce before I fully make my Jon character sheet that his favorite band is linkin park#it's so funny and just right#tbf linkin park goes hard I'm tired of pretending it doesnt#but come on he totally was totally an edgey prick when he was younger#and older. he hasnt changed huh#anygays he totally loves linkin park and type o negative and three days grace and green day and evanescence#georgie was a paramore girlie I just know it#wish gerry were here he and jon would jam to type o negative so much :( and jon could introduce him to this cold night :(((#ok enough byeeeee
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The Evolution of Cassandra Cain's Dialogue
Since Batgirl #1 is out and thriving, I thought it'd be fun to dive into the history of Cass' dialogue throughout different writers/runs. This is not comprehensive - I'll miss some writers, but I'll be covering her generally most known runs in mainline continuity (so no DCeased, Shadow of the Batgirl, etc.). Not a linguist by any means, so linguists on here feel free to chime in! (I'll also give opinions on which interpretations I personally prefer at the end).
Without further ado, we'll start at the beginning:
Kelley Puckett - Batgirl (2000)
Pre-issue 4, Cass speaks minimally in one-word sentences and doesn't have internal narration. Post-issue 4 (when a metahuman changes Cass' brain), she develops an internal monologue and begins to speak longer sentences. I'm splitting Puckett's Cass dialogue into 3 stages: early, middle, and late.
Early (#4 - #12): Cass speaks short, fragmented sentences. Each word has an ellipses between them (panel 1 above, from #7).
Middle (#13 - #24): Cass continues to speak incomplete sentences (often missing a subject or pronouns), but without ellipses (panel 2, from #13).
Late (#25 onwards): Cass begins to speak complete, simple sentences, punctuated by a few ellipses (panel 3, from #33). She continues to speak grammatically (though slowly) throughout the final part of Puckett's run.
Dylan Horrocks - Batgirl (2000)
Horrocks writes very similarly to late-Puckett, with Cass speaking in full, simple sentences, punctuated by the occasional ellipses. Horrocks introduces two new elements to her dialogue:
Cass stutters, sometimes repeating a word or phrase at the beginning of a sentence (panel 1 above, from #39). This is mostly used in the earlier parts of Horrocks' run.
She quotes reality TV (panel 2, from #51).
Maybe because of the reality TV, Cass also speaks more colloquially here than in Puckett's run, using phrases like "come 'n' get it" (from #57).
Andersen Gabrych - Batgirl (2000)
Gabrych's run focuses heavily on Cass' dialogue. Panel 1 above, from #58, suggests her narration boxes are another form of dialogue - Cass is speaking into a recorder. Several features of Gabrych's Cass dialogue are:
Ellipses: Even more than his predecessors, Gabrych scatters ellipses throughout Cass' speech (panel 1).
Fillers: Cass extensively uses filler words such as 'uh', 'um', and 'like' (panel 1, panel 2 from #61).
Longer sentences: Cass is more talkative and speaks longer sentences (panel 1, which is basically more words per panel than Puckett and Horrocks combined).
Wordplay: Cass often ponders definitions and word structures (panel 1, 2).
Adam Beechen - Batgirl (2008)
After evil Cass (that dialogue is not worth discussing), Beechen gets another chance with Cass in this miniseries. More than any other writer, Beechen differentiates Cass' internal monologue from her dialogue - her narration boxes are much wordier than her speech.
Her dialogue is a more loquacious version of late-Puckett or Horrocks: full sentences interspersed with ellipses (panel 1, from #1). The ellipses drop off towards the end of the series.
Her narration boxes use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. They read more or less as fluent English (panel 2, from #4).
Scott Snyder - Gates of Gotham (2011)
Snyder's Cass somewhat resembles mid-Puckett, using short sentences without ellipses (panel 1, from #2). She speaks a fair amount, but is more taciturn here than in any previous run. This is partially due to her not having narration boxes.
A unique feature of Snyder's Cass is preferring formal to informal speech. Though she uses contractions (panel 1), she goes large stretches without them (panel 2, from #3). She also omits the subject of a sentence only once in 5 issues, whereas native speakers (like Dick) drop the subject all the time ('have you ever been to Paris?' vs. 'ever been to Paris?'; Snyder's Cass would always say the former instead of the latter).
Sidenote: Batman & Robin: Eternal (2015)
Quick note about B&R:E: Cass is reintroduced into canon after being erased by the New 52, which means she's back to having very limited language ability. The series is scripted by multiple people, so it's hard to analyse. Suffice it to say she speaks in monosyllabic words, at most a short, incomplete sentence, but is mostly silent.
James Tynion IV - Detective Comics (2016)
Because Cass' language ability has been reset, Tynion develops her speech along the lines of Batgirl (2000).
Early Tynion has Cass speaking single word sentences (panel 1, from #938). Very similar to pre-metahuman touch Cass in BG (2000).
During the League of Shadows arc, Cass begins to speak a few words at a time, often separated by an ellipsis (panel 2, from #956).
Afterwards, Cass' friendship with Basil Karlo blossoms, leading to this run's most distinctive language feature - Cass improves her speech via studying and quoting Shakespeare (panel 3, from #958). Her improvement is reflected in the rest of the run through speaking longer and more frequent sentences.
Bryan Hill - Batman & The Outsiders (2019)
Like other writers, Hill's Cass generally uses short, simple sentences. She frequently drops the subject or pronoun in a sentence (panel 1, from #1). Hill doesn't use ellipses to separate the sentences, opting for periods most of the time.
Cass sometimes omits other words from her sentences too, dropping articles like 'a' and 'the' (panel 2, from #4), prepositions like 'to', and verbs like 'is' (panel 3, from #9). This peters out in the second half of the run.
Becky Cloonan and Michael W. Conrad - Batgirls (2022)
Similar to mid-Puckett, Batgirls has Cass speak mostly in short, 1-2 word sentences (panel 1, from #2). Cloonan and Conrad occasionally use ellipses as well, though mostly for emphasis/natural hesitation rather than indicating a unique speech pattern (panel 2, from #7).
Cass also has a habit of repeating/echoing a phrase Stephanie says (panel 3, from #16). This might be more of a friendship thing than a speech thing, though.
Alyssa Wong - Spirit World (2023)
Wong's Cass uses short sentences sometimes interrupted by ellipses, like late-Puckett and Horrocks (panel 1, from #1). Generally, if the sentence is three words or less, there won't be an ellipsis (panel 2, from #5).
Kelly Thompson - Birds of Prey (2023)
Thompson's Cass draws on a lot of previous iterations, but is somewhat unique as a whole. Some elements of BoP Cass include:
She speaks in sentences of varying lengths, but rarely with more than one clause (panel 1, from #1). Thompson is more strict about not using commas with Cass than most other writers.
Cass is a little more talkative (panel 2, from #5). Her sentences are fairly lengthy compared to most other runs, and she doesn't always opt for the shortest way to say things ('where is it?' instead of 'do you know where it is?'). Thompson also doesn't use ellipses, which adds to the sentences feeling longer/more complete.
BoP is ongoing so Thompson may add more to her speech.
Sidenote: Ram V - Detective Comics (2023)
Putting this in a sidenote since there's not much to say, but Ram V takes after mid-Puckett, with Cass using shorter, incomplete sentences. Cass almost always omits the subject of a sentence; her dialogue is as short as possible while retaining clarity.
Thoughts
Because Cass' language disability is a core part of her character, but learning to speak is also a core part of her character, I prefer writers who emphasize her unique speech patterns without reducing her range of expression. My favourites are:
Gabrych - by far the person who put the most effort into his dialogue, Gabrych-Cass has such a vibrant, distinctive style of speaking. The narration boxes, Cass' wordplay, and the use of fillers and ellipses all combine for a speech style that highlights her disability without reducing her to it.
Puckett/Horrocks - combining because they are really very similar. Puckett and Horrocks both use ellipses to great effect, and is a great style to emulate for Cass in an earlier stage of life. Horrocks' use of reality TV is severely underutilised. Puckett, of course, is the gold standard for typical Cass dialogue - if Gabrych's style is a little too much, Puckett and Horrocks are the way to go.
Tynion - mostly because of the Shakespeare thing. It's such a beautiful and clever way of showing her progress, and the amount of symbolism you could do with Cass quoting Shakespeare is unmatched.
I don't super enjoy the more talkative Casses (Beechen, Thompson to an extent), though I kind of like Snyder's take because there's a sense of Cass being very careful with her speech there. If you're writing Cass for a fanfic or something, I would avoid Hill's Outsiders; the run is great, but Cass' ungrammatical speech is unusual and doesn't jibe with the rest of her depictions. Ram V and Wong are relatively good depictions to draw from though.
Of course these are my opinions! I may have gotten some things wrong/overgeneralised stuff, so take all this with a grain of salt. All you need to know is you should read Batgirl (2000) :).
#cassandra cain#batgirl#batman#meta#this took me so stupidly long#i didn't even include batgirl (2024) since it's only one issue but I might add on later#anyway more people need to emulate gabrych#so many are clearly influenced by puckett but gabrych's dialogue is so unique to cass and works nicely with her development#i also wish more people would use the reality tv/shakespeare stuff#cass spouting off the crassest phrase and then 'dost thou' in the same sentence
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Thinking about his brain
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#doodle#He spends like all of his time irrationally terrified of going back to poverty#this was inspired by a panel change I had to make to the next comic im working on teehee teehee#originally I was going to have a funny gag of him describing how awful he felt#but I decided to change it because like. He would never admit that he felt bad#feeling bad is a sign of weakness. a sign of failure. a sign that he needs to try harder#like its not just Devs problems he's ignoring. he treats his own body pretty awfully too#not to write that entire thing off as a trauma response tho hes still objectively awful for not listening to his sons wishes#and he wouldn't have done the same if his own leg got as severely injured.#Having a leg amputated is scary he would have tried to salvage it#then again that is still arguably his fucked up version of love#I have thoughts ok!!!#he is so traumatized
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average filipino neighborhood đ¤ď¸đď¸
#current wip!!!#wish sem break would come sooner so i can work on this more ;;;;;#mgbuilds#ts4 build#ts4#the sims 4
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Hughie Campbell | The Boys S01E02: Cherry
#just missed looking at my boy don't mind me#cara gifs#hughie campbell#jack quaid#billy butcher#karl urban#the boys#the hold he has on me tho#also hey#fuck the colouring in this show tbh#also boy do i love the way butcher circles him#i LOVE it#i wish my brain would start working again#stupid being sick#i wanna wriiiiiiite
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January. black tea fragrant with rose petals. a fawn-brown journal and pink-cold cheeks. tiramisu. matte rosy lipstick. comforting, sensual notes of caramel and iris. gentle flexibility training. crisp-fresh baguette with fig jam. pink salt body scrub. evenings spent reading and journaling.
#monthly thoughts#this month I'm longing for soft pink and chocolate brown#caramel and light blue works too!!!!!#I wish I had a brown suede skirt. that would be so nice
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*shakes him*
(Wonderland au)
#one piece#shuggy#buggy#shanks#red haired shanks#buggy the clown#shanks x buggy#buggy in wonderland au#my art#god I wish I had my own buggy trapped in a tiny bottle....#I'd shake him so hard#not really story related. I just wanted to put buggy in a jar or a bottle and I thought the drink me bottle from wonderland would work well
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Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl found dead in a hidden room.
[First] Prev <â-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan xichen#jin guangyao#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#qin su#EDIT: Tumblr published an earlier draft with only half the notes I wrote so: late entry on my JGY thoughts.#Unlike the mystic powers of the stockmarket (what the OG meme is referring to) I think this situation calls for more active investigation.#qin su is such a deeply tragic character to me and I really wish we got a bit more from her.#Love everyone who sent me messages about her after the last time she appeared.#I think she needs a spin off of her being a transmigrator SO badly.#MDZS has so many interesting characters - but it sometimes fails to give them the proper room to really develop past a role in the plot.#That's just the consequence of writing a story like MDZS. Not every character in a book *needs* to have a rich inner life and backstory!#To do so would bog down the story and obliterate any notion of pacing. It's just not possible.#Jin Guangyao (nee Meng Yao) is unfortunately not free from this leeway rule. He is the culprit of this murder mystery plot#and thus NEEDS to encapsulate the themes of the book. And personally he's a 7 out of 10 at best on this front (in the AD).#MDZS is about rumours twisting reality and working towards truth. And about how people & situations are rarely ever black & white#JGY has his motivations. He's well written in regards to his actions making sense for his character.#What started as good traits (drive to succeed & improve his image) became twisted over time (do anything to maintain his image)#and it's a good parallel to WWX! He has the same arc (with different traits)! Bonus points for IGY in that regard.#but man....by the time we confront this guy for murder there's not a lot of grey morality. He's just...deep in the hole *he* dug.#There's a beautiful tragedy to it! More on JGY in later comics - this is getting pretty long already!
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Elliot and his emotional support crab burning the midnight oil.
#doodle#stardew valley#stardew valley elliot#you and me both elliot#wish us luck that we would be able to meet our deadlines#*SOBS*#i want to read a fanfic where you keep accidentally interrupting elliot in the middle of writing#the 5 times youre embarassed for messing his groove#and the one time you interrupt him when heâs in a slump/block and heâs suddenly gets a surge of inspo#Headcanons: Elliot chews on his pens/pencils when heâs pondering on synonmys.#he purses his lips and balances pens under his nose when heâs editing his work.#Many of his writing utensils(??) are lost in his hair when heâs doing a bit of research.
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TBH the Wonderland twins could've gotten over all their unspoken narrative-haunting grief about their third dead sibling really easily if they'd just ever met Magic Brian. They would've loved Magic Brian and he would've loved them. New brother unlocked (evil German edition this time which honestly to them is an upgrade)
#like i heavily exaggerate for the bit BUT#i think they would genuinely like him#in canon they do not instantly shut down the idea of another dramatic & slightly unhinged wizard (taako) joining them#i think getting magic brian and spider bryan involved in wonderland could be enrichment for all involved parties#taz#taz balance#taz balance spoilers#wonderland twins#magic brian#this is what i post instead of working on easily my greatest fic i've never written#wherein lydia and edward latch onto a certain non-brian character as a replacement brother#and the way said character reacts to that makes edward and lydia so much worse#if i could finish this fic it would be instant magnum opus material but it's been languishing 10% done for literally a year oops#sadly no one will create the fucked up toxic unrequited found family fic i wish to see in the world if i don't though
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