#i wish the characters that the cars belonged to
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#i wish the characters that the cars belonged to#were actually on the packaging instead of just vin lol#running my mouth#avatar#dungeons and dungeons: honor among thieves#the fast and the furious#the fate of the furious#furious 7
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#can't stop thinking about this #i hate to say it but in general i'm leaning towards the luthor point of view here? i'm all for eyes being wide open #that said i feel neither pov is wrong #the kents have their reasons to believe the way they do and so do the luthors #it's just interesting when the differences between the families are brought into the spotlight #i feel that's when the show was at its strongest #it lost a lot when it became all about love triangles instead of this (via @raelis1)
100% agree and also this is why I claim 'eyes open' by taylor swift as a lex song:
#smallville#lex luthor#clark kent#sv meta#the fact that the luthors live in 'a cruel world where everybody stands and keeps score' is literally why lionel tells lex to open his eyes#'you'll never get anywhere with your eyes closed'#now lionel's perspective is mostly about wanting to gain power in their corporate dog-eat-dog world#but for lex keeping his eyes open is actually a necessity for his survival#because despite the luthors' wealth lex's life is actually incredibly unsafe#around every corner there's someone just waiting to betray and kill him—including his own fucking father#('everybody's waiting for you to break down / everybody's watching to see the fallout')#so he can't just 'accept miracles' the way the kents do#the way the kents HAD TO—when a baby fell out of the sky with no explanation ever given to them and they still accepted him as theirs#unlike the kents lex can't just blindly put his faith and trust in things working out for the best—because for him they never do#('every lesson forms a new scar / they never thought you'd make it this far')#that's why he can't let the car crash go—there has to be some kind of trick to it because good things don't just *happen* to him. ever.#and until clark came along there was nobody out there protecting him ('and nobody comes to save you now') so he had to keep himself safe#speaking of clark... his abilities obviously come with their own issues but let's face it—he has godlike powers that no one else does#he can 'see anything' effortlessly#something that lex will never be able to do no matter how hard he tries ('two steps ahead and staying on guard')#this is why it's necessary for clark to 'learn to close his eyes'—he doesn't want to be a god. he wants to be human and normal#so closing his eyes is his way of leveling the playing field so he can stay humble and grounded and feel like he belongs on earth#in conclusion: lex and clark keeping their eyes open and closed respectively are necessary adaptations#which have allowed both of them to survive in their day-to-day lives thus far#but at the same time character growth would involve both of them learning to be more flexible with these coping mechanisms#lex looking over his shoulder less and accepting that some things might just be unknowable so he can keep good people (clark) in his life#and clark embracing his powers and heritage instead of wishing for normalcy so he can eventually become the superman he's meant to be#...anyway I wasn't planning to write a goddamn TED talk but thanks for coming to it I guess 😩
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right people, wrong place — nanami kento.
“And what about us? Was I something you could just walk away from?” The question hung in the air between you, heavy and raw. For a moment, you thought you saw something flicker in his gaze—regret, maybe—but it vanished just as quickly. “I never wanted to hurt you, you know that.” he said quietly, almost like an admission of guilt. “But this was always going to be the cost.”
GENRE: alternate universe - canon convergence!
WARNING/S: romance, fluff, angst, marriage separation, salvaging the marriage, nsfw, rated 18 and above, explicit content, kissing, car-fuck, making out, smut, fingering, p to v sex, orgasm, hurt/comfort, alcohol, crying, drunk, emotional, pining, happy ending, characters speaking in sexual innuendo, depiction of breakdown of a marriage, depiction of alcoholic beverages, depiction of getting drunk, depiction of sexual acts, depiction of sexual tension, depiction of naked bodies, mention of sexual euphemisms, depiction of explicit sexual content, sorcerer! nanami, non-sorcerer! reader;
WORD COUNT: 7.7k words.
NOTE: finally!!! im putting out this chapter on my birthday which is crazy but i feel like putting it out on my birthday shows how much i really love nanami. i really wondered a lot how to do this because i don't think nanami's the sort of person who would end up hurting his lover/partner like this. but hm, i suppose it works out in the end!!! anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this a lot like i did!!! i love you all <3
masterlist
kinktober 2024 - kayu's version
if you want to, tip! <3
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IN YOUR YEARS LIVING, YOU’D NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN. You never thought you would find yourself in this position, but sometimes marriages just don't last. It’s been a while since your husband, Nanami Kento, and you became estranged. His constant absence, wrapped up in his work as a sorcerer, eventually took precedence over your marriage.
At first, you understood, even tried to be patient. But over time, the long hours, missed moments, and growing distance became too much to bear. You found yourself frustrated, feeling as though you were competing with a world you couldn’t fully understand or be a part of.
Slowly, that frustration turned into resentment. Despite your efforts to keep things together, the silence between you grew louder. Eventually, the separation felt inevitable. Now, standing on the other side of it, you reflect on the painful truth: sometimes love isn't enough when life pulls you in different directions.
You sighed, staring at the empty side of the bed where Kento used to sleep. The memories of better days flickered in your mind, but they felt distant, like they belonged to someone else’s life. The silence of your apartment was deafening, broken only by the occasional sound of the outside world.
“Did you ever regret it?” you whispered, almost as if speaking to the ghost of your past, hoping for an answer you knew wouldn’t come. “Did you ever think… maybe I was worth staying for?”
You shook your head, frustrated with yourself for even asking the question. It wasn’t fair to him. You knew how much responsibility weighed on Kento's shoulders. Being a sorcerer wasn’t just a job; it was a duty. But sometimes, you wished he would have chosen you, just once, over the weight of the world.
Your minds rushed to those memories again. That night when he left the house. You looked as he packed everything he could carry. His clothes, his books… small pieces of a life you once shared now reduced to what he could fit into a suitcase. The silence between you stretched, the weight of unspoken words lingering in the air, almost suffocating.
“Is this really it, then?” you finally asked, your voice barely above a whisper. It was a question that had hung in the back of your mind for months, but now, with him standing here, packing the last remnants of your life together, it felt real. Permanent.
Kento paused, his hand resting on one of his neatly folded shirts. He didn’t look at you when he spoke. “I don’t know.”
“That’s all you can say? After so many years?.....Kento....this is…” you replied, your voice cracking despite your best effort to keep it steady. “Not even a reason?”
His shoulders tensed at your words, but he still didn’t turn around. “If I say something, it would be a fight and then that fight would hurt you and I again. Do you really want that?”
“No, I don’t.” you shot back, the frustration and hurt bubbling to the surface. “But maybe it should. Because then I would know if it actually mattered. Because it didn’t feel like it mattered, Kento. It felt like I was always second place to your work, to the missions, to everything else.”
He finally turned to face you, his expression unreadable but the exhaustion in his eyes undeniable. “I never wanted it to be like this. But you knew what I was from the beginning. Being a sorcerer… it’s not something you can just walk away from.”
“And what about us? Was I something you could just walk away from?”
The question hung in the air between you, heavy and raw. For a moment, you thought you saw something flicker in his gaze—regret, maybe—but it vanished just as quickly.
“I never wanted to hurt you, you know that.” he said quietly, almost like an admission of guilt. “But this was always going to be the cost.”
You laughed bitterly, the sound harsh even to your own ears. “So that’s it? We were just collateral damage to your sense of duty?”
Kento didn’t answer right away. Instead, he closed the suitcase with a soft click, the finality of it settling like a stone in your chest. “I thought I could do both. I thought I could be there for you and still do what needed to be done. But I was wrong.”
The silence that followed was deafening. You stared at him, waiting for something more—an apology, a plea, anything. But all you got was that same calm, distant resolve that had driven you apart in the first place.
He picked up the suitcase, his fingers tightening around the handle. “Goodbye.”
And just like that, he was gone. The door clicked shut behind him, and the emptiness of the apartment swallowed you whole. You stood there, staring at the spot where he had been, feeling the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you. It was over.
But somehow, it still didn’t feel like closure.
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EVERYTHING THAT CAME AFTER WAS HARD. In the days that followed, the silence in your apartment became both a comfort and a curse. It was quiet—almost too quiet—but for the first time in what felt like forever, the suffocating weight of uncertainty was gone.
Kento was gone, too. But in a way, that absence, painful as it was, felt like a step toward something else. Healing, maybe. And it didn’t help, how empty the rooms were. Half of his belongings were gone and packed up when you weren’t in the apartment.
It was slow at first. You’d wake up some mornings expecting him to be there, just a shadow of his presence lingering in the air. You’d make coffee for two out of habit, only to pour the second cup down the sink. Little reminders of him still clung to the edges of your life, and each one was like a small tug at the thread of your resolve.
But as the weeks turned into months, you started to piece yourself back together. You learned how to be alone without feeling lonely, how to fill the spaces he left behind with your own life. You started to find joy in the little things again—quiet mornings with a book, walks in the park, laughing with friends who had long been neglected while you tried to hold onto something that was already slipping away.
Still, there were moments, late at night when the world went still, that the ache of missing him crept back in. It was like a dull, persistent pain—manageable, but never quite gone. You’d find yourself lying awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering what he was doing, if he was thinking of you, too. If he ever would come back and say that he regrets walking away.
Because the truth was, you still loved him. Deeply. And that was the hardest part. No matter how much you tried to move forward, to heal, the love you had for Nanami Kento never fully disappeared. It lingered, bittersweet and aching, tucked into the corners of your heart.
Some nights, you found yourself replaying those last moments with him—the way he stood in the doorway, his back turned to you, the finality of his goodbye. You couldn’t help but wonder if things could have been different. If you had fought harder, if he had tried just a little more. But those thoughts always led to the same conclusion: no matter how much you loved him, love wasn’t enough to fix what had broken between you.
And yet, despite everything, there was still a part of you that wanted him back. It was foolish, you knew that. But the heart rarely listens to reason. You missed the way he made you feel safe, even when everything else in your world felt uncertain. You missed the way he’d brush his fingers through your hair absentmindedly while reading or the quiet moments where words weren’t needed because you both just… understood.
But loving him came with a cost, one you couldn’t ignore. You knew that being with him meant sharing him with a world that constantly demanded more of him than you could ever give. It meant always being second place, always waiting for him to come home, always wondering if this time would be the last.
You weren’t sure if you could live like that again.
It was hard, knowing that despite how much better you were feeling, the part of you that still longed for him wasn’t ready to let go. You tried to distract yourself—work, hobbies, anything to keep your mind from drifting back to him. But every now and then, you’d catch a glimpse of something that reminded you of him—a certain tie in a shop window, a scent in the air—and the pang of longing would hit you all over again.
One evening, after a particularly long day, you found yourself standing at the edge of your balcony, staring out at the sunset. The sky was painted in hues of gold and pink, the world so quiet and still that it almost felt like a dream. For a brief moment, you let yourself imagine what it would be like if he were here beside you. If, somehow, you could make it work. If the love you had was enough to outweigh everything else.
But as the colors faded and dusk settled in, you realized something—wanting him, loving him, would always be part of you. But so would the pain. And maybe, just maybe, the best thing you could do was let both of those things exist without trying to fix them. To let the love you still had for him be a memory, something you carried with you but didn’t let define you anymore.
It was hard. But you were learning that sometimes, healing isn’t about forgetting the past. It’s about accepting it and finding a way to move forward anyway. Even if part of you will always wish things had been different.
You sighed, staring at the empty side of the bed where Nanami used to sleep. The memories of better days flickered in your mind, but they felt distant, like they belonged to someone else’s life. The silence of your apartment was deafening, broken only by the occasional sound of the outside world.
“Did you ever regret it?” you whispered, almost as if speaking to the ghost of your past, hoping for an answer you knew wouldn’t come. “Did you ever think… maybe I was worth staying for?”
You shook your head, frustrated with yourself for even asking the question. It wasn’t fair to him. You knew how much responsibility weighed on Nanami's shoulders. Being a sorcerer wasn’t just a job; it was a duty. But sometimes, you wished he would have chosen you, just once, over the weight of the world.
The doorbell rang, snapping you out of your thoughts. For a moment, your heart raced—an absurd part of you hoped it was him. But you quickly brushed the thought aside. That chapter was closed. Or so you tried to convince yourself.
When you opened the door, there he stood—Nanami Kento.
“I came to pick up the rest of my things.” he said, his voice low and steady, as if the weight of the words didn't matter. But they did. Every syllable felt like a punch to your chest.
You nodded, stepping aside to let him in, though the sight of him in the apartment again felt like a knife twisting in an old wound. He walked past you without another word, heading to what used to be your shared bedroom. It was strange—after all the time that had passed, he still moved like he belonged here, like nothing had changed. But everything had.
You followed him, your footsteps quiet as you watched him start gathering his things. His clothes, his books… small pieces of a life you once shared now reduced to what he could fit into a suitcase. The silence between you stretched, the weight of unspoken words lingering in the air, almost suffocating.
“This is it, huh?” you finally asked, your voice barely above a whisper. It was a question that had hung in the back of your mind for months, but now, with him standing here, packing the last remnants of your life together, it felt real. Permanent. “Is….is this what’s left?”
Kento paused, his hand resting on one of his neatly folded shirts. He didn’t look at you when he spoke. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Anything, everything.” you replied, your voice cracking despite your best effort to keep it steady. “I just want to know if any of it ever mattered to you.”
His shoulders tensed at your words, but he still didn’t turn around. “You know it did. You matter to me. More than you know.”
“Did I?” you shot back, the frustration and hurt bubbling to the surface. “Because why have I never felt it? When will I feel it?”
He finally turned to face you, his expression unreadable but the exhaustion in his eyes undeniable. “I showed you everything I could. I gave you everything I could. Was that never going to be enough for you?”
“And what about us? Was I something you could just walk away from?”
The question hung in the air between you, heavy and raw. For a moment, you thought you saw something flicker in his gaze—regret, maybe—but it vanished just as quickly.Nanami didn’t answer right away. Instead, he closed the box with a soft touch, the finality of it settling like a stone in your chest.
“I thought I could do both. I thought I could be there for you and still do what needed to be done. But I was wrong.”
The silence that followed was deafening. You stared at him, waiting for something more—an apology, a plea, anything. But all you got was that same calm, distant resolve that had driven you apart in the first place.
He picked up the rest of his belongings, his fingers tightening around the handle. “I have to go.”
And just like that, he was gone. The door clicked shut behind him, and the emptiness of the apartment swallowed you whole. You stood there, staring at the spot where he had been, feeling the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you. It was over.
But somehow, it still didn’t feel like closure.
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YOU DIDN’T EAT MUCH IN THE PAST FEW DAYS. But that was to be expected. You couldn’t eat in the place where you had so many memories. Yet you were feeling unwell as time went on and so slowly, gently, patiently — you tried to be good to yourself. Tried to be understanding. Going through separation, this suffering, it was never going to be easy.
The silence in your apartment became both a comfort and a curse. It was quiet—almost too quiet—but for the first time in what felt like forever, the suffocating weight of uncertainty was gone.
The emptiness felt different now. It wasn't just about loss or absence; it was about space—space to breathe, to think, to feel without the constant dread lurking in every corner. Still, the quiet held an echo of everything you had left behind, and that made moving forward all the more difficult.
But as the weeks turned into months, you started to piece yourself back together. You learned how to be alone without feeling lonely, how to fill the spaces he left behind with your own life.
You started to find joy in the little things again—quiet mornings with a book, walks in the park, laughing with friends who had long been neglected while you tried to hold onto something that was already slipping away.
Still, there were moments, late at night when the world went still and you’re watching television alone by yourself — you could feel that the ache of missing him crept back in.
It was like a dull, persistent pain—manageable, but never quite gone. You’d find yourself lying awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering what he was doing, if he was thinking of you, too. If he ever regretted walking away. Or if he missed you just as much as you did.
Because the truth was, you still loved him. Deeply. And that was the hardest part. No matter how much you tried to move forward, to heal, the love you had for Nanami Kento never fully disappeared. It lingered, bittersweet and aching, tucked into the corners of your heart. And perhaps, maybe it will always be like this.
But you had to move on. Life wasn’t going to wait for you to get better, to be better. It demanded that you keep going, even when you weren’t sure how to, even when the ghost of what you had still weighed heavy on your soul.
So, you kept going, step by step. Some days were easier than others, filled with the distractions of work, the warmth of sunlight on your skin, and conversations that pulled you out of your own head. Other days were harder—when memories of him resurfaced without warning, when a familiar scent or an old song hit you with the force of a tidal wave, threatening to drown you in nostalgia.
But you had learned by now how to weather those moments. You’d remind yourself that healing wasn’t linear, that some days you would falter, and that was okay. You had to let yourself feel the sadness, the longing, without letting it consume you.
And in time, you began to see the future more clearly, not just as a continuation of what you lost but as something entirely new. You began to make plans for yourself, not the version of you that existed with him but the person you were becoming on your own. You started to imagine new possibilities—new experiences, new places, and maybe even, eventually, new love.
But for now, it was enough to simply live. To wake up each morning with the quiet acceptance that the pain would fade, slowly, until it was just another part of you, like a scar that healed over time. And though Nanami Kento would always hold a piece of your heart, you knew that piece was no longer all you had. There was more to you, more to your life, and you would find it, one day at a time.
And maybe, tonight was just one of those nights you didn’t plan. Tonight was one more night where you tried to forget. It was just a spontaneous meeting with the friends you made because of your estranged husband.
In a way, you think that Shoko and Utahime, were the only people who had really been there for you throughout this entire mess. You met up at a quiet bar tucked away in a corner of the city, a place that felt far removed from the chaos of sorcery and everything that came with it.
Shoko sat across from you, her usual laid-back demeanor a source of steady comfort, while Utahime leaned in, her voice soft and warm, coaxing you into laughter with her lighthearted banter. The night had started out innocent enough—a few drinks, some stories, and shared frustrations. But as the alcohol flowed, so did your emotions.
“Honestly.” you groaned, swirling your drink before downing it, “I don’t even know what I miss more—him, or the idea of what we could’ve been if his work didn’t always come first.”
Shoko raised her glass, giving you a sympathetic smile. “It’s never easy, is it? Being with someone like him. The duty comes first. Always.”
Utahime nodded, her eyes full of understanding. “But that doesn’t make what you feel any less valid. You loved him. That doesn’t just disappear.”
The alcohol in your system made you bolder, more honest than you’d been in a while. You leaned forward, placing your elbows on the table, and slurred slightly, “It’s not fair, you know? I tried, I really did. But how long am I supposed to wait? How many nights am I supposed to spend alone, wondering if he’s even coming back?”
Shoko reached across the table and squeezed your hand gently. “You’re not supposed to wait forever. You deserve more than that.”
But instead of finding solace in her words, you found yourself feeling more emotional, the weight of everything you’d been holding back finally cracking open under the influence of too much alcohol. A tear slipped down your cheek, and before you could stop it, you were sobbing into your hands, overwhelmed by a mix of heartache and frustration.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry!” Utahime said softly, sliding into the seat beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “You’re doing great. This is just… part of the process.”
Shoko, usually so calm and collected, looked a little more concerned than usual. “Okay, I think it’s time to slow down on the drinks, girlie.” she said, gently pulling your glass away from you.
But you were too far gone to care. The mix of pain, regret, and alcohol had you in a place where you didn’t want to think anymore—you just wanted to feel something, anything other than the ache of missing him.
You let out a half-laugh, half-sob and raised your hands in the air dramatically. “I’m a mess! A total mess! And you know what? I miss him. I still miss him even after everything!”
Utahime tried to keep you grounded, but your emotions were all over the place. “We know. We get it. Just breathe.”
Shoko sighed, reaching for her phone. “I think we might need backup here.”
You were too busy giggling uncontrollably to notice her dialing a number, the alcohol buzzing in your veins, making you feel invincible, heartbroken, and foolish all at once.
“I’m calling Nanami.” Shoko said, her voice firm as she stepped away to speak quietly into the phone.
The name hit you like a punch in the chest, and suddenly, the laughter was gone, replaced by a pit of regret. “Wait… Shoko, no. Don’t… don’t call him.” you mumbled, slumping against the table.
But it was too late.
Half an hour later, as the bar started to empty out and the world around you became a blurry haze, you felt a familiar presence. Nanami Kento stood at the entrance, his expression unreadable, though his posture was tense, like he wasn’t sure what to expect. He scanned the room until his eyes landed on you—wild-eyed and completely drunk, your face flushed from crying and too many drinks.
Shoko and Utahime exchanged a glance as Nanami walked over to the table. “She… might’ve had a bit too much tonight, you know?” Utahime said sheepishly, standing up to give him space.
Nanami didn’t say anything at first. He just looked at you—really looked at you, like he was seeing you for the first time in months. You could see the subtle flicker of concern in his eyes, even if his face remained calm, composed.
You, on the other hand, were a mess. “Kento….” you slurred, your voice thick with emotion. “Why did you come?”
He crouched down beside you, his voice low but steady. “Shoko called me.”
You frowned, trying to process that. “You didn’t have to.”
“I know.”
For a moment, you both just stared at each other, the air between you heavy with everything left unsaid. You wanted to say so many things—to tell him how much you missed him, how much it hurt to love him, but your thoughts were too muddled, and the alcohol made everything feel distant and surreal.
Nanami sighed softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “Let’s get you home.”
Too tired and drunk to argue, you leaned into his touch, letting him guide you out of the bar. As he helped you into the passenger seat of his car, you felt a pang of sadness wash over you. Even in this state, the warmth of his presence made you remember why you had fallen in love with him in the first place.
But as the car started and the city lights blurred by, you couldn’t help but wonder if this was all you’d ever be to him now—a fleeting responsibility, a problem to fix.
Through heavy-lidded eyes, you glanced over at him, your voice barely above a whisper. “Do you still care, Kento?”
For the first time in a long while, you saw a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes. “Of course I care.” he said quietly, almost like it hurt to admit it. “I always have….I always will.”
But as the darkness of the night pulled you under, you couldn’t help but think that maybe caring just wasn’t enough.
The drive was quiet, the hum of the engine and the distant noise of the city filling the silence between you and Nanami. You leaned your head against the window, feeling the cool glass against your flushed skin, the alcohol still buzzing faintly in your veins. Everything felt muted, distant, as if you were floating just outside yourself, watching the scene unfold from afar.
Nanami’s presence was steady, calm as always, but there was something different about it tonight—something almost tender in the way he glanced over at you every few moments, checking to see if you were okay. He was a man of few words, but the weight of everything left unsaid between you felt heavy in the small space of the car.
You closed your eyes, letting the rhythmic motion of the car lull you into a state somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. Your thoughts drifted in and out, a hazy mix of memories and half-formed feelings. The pain of your separation, the love you still held for him, the impossible wish that things could’ve been different.
“Do you need anything?” His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it, something restrained.
You shook your head, trying to gather your thoughts through the alcohol fog, but the room spun, and you could feel the tears welling up again, unbidden and unwelcome. The frustration, the love, the hurt—all of it crashed over you at once, too heavy to hold in any longer.
“I miss you, Kento.” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “But I just…..I don’t want to miss you anymore.”
He didn’t respond right away, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, afraid of what you might see in his eyes. Afraid of the truth you already knew—that no matter how much you wanted him, how much you loved him, some things were just too broken to fix. Your face contorted in distress as you felt like you were going to hurl.
Kento stopped the car on a quiet side of the road and took a breath. He moved towards your side of the vehicle. He opened the door and brushed his hands on your back as though to soothe you. But nothing came out of you. Instead, you were just hiccupping. Tears were falling down your face by this point, as your eyes met his.
Nanami Kento sighed softly, kneeling down in front of you. He reached out, brushing a tear from your cheek with the back of his hand, his touch gentle, hesitant. “You shouldn’t have to feel like this about me, about everything.” he murmured, his voice low, filled with regret. “You shouldn’t let this hurt you. Not anymore—”
“But you did.” you cut him off, your voice cracking. “Every time you left, every time you put your work first… it felt like I didn’t matter.”
He bowed his head, the weight of your words sinking into him. “I know.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, your hands trembling as you clutched the fabric of the couch beneath you. “I loved you, Kento. I still love you. But I don’t know if I can keep doing this… if I can keep feeling like I’m waiting for something that will never come.”
He lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours, and for the first time in a long while, you saw something break in his calm façade. “I never wanted you to wait. But I didn’t know how to stop. I didn’t know….I didn’t know how to stop saving people.”
The vulnerability in his voice, the raw honesty, made your heart ache even more. You could see it now—his struggle, his conflict between the duty he felt as a sorcerer and the love he had for you. But that didn’t change the fact that you had spent so long feeling alone, abandoned in a relationship that demanded more from you than you could give.
“Why did you come tonight?” you asked, your voice shaky, desperate for answers. “Why didn’t you just leave me there?”
Nanami was quiet for a moment, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Because I couldn’t. No matter how much I tell myself it’s better for you if I stay away… I can’t stop caring about you. Nor could I just….Nor could I just leave you like that. You don’t need to be alone, not like this.”
His words hit you like a punch to the gut. It was the truth you had always known, deep down—that he loved you, that he cared. But caring wasn’t enough to bridge the gap between the life he led and the one you needed. And that was the most painful part.
“I don’t know how to stop loving you.” you admitted, tears streaming down your face now, unrestrained. “But I also don’t know how to keep living like this. I don’t want to keep living like this.”
Nanami looked at you then, his expression conflicted, torn between his duty and the love he had for you. “I wish I could give you more. I wish I could be what you need.”
His honesty only made the hurt deeper, and you choked back a sob, turning your face away from him. “I wish that too, Kento. But wishing doesn’t make it real.”
For a long moment, neither of you said anything, the silence heavy and suffocating. Nanami stood, his movements slow, deliberate. He walked to the door, pausing with his hand on the handle.
“If you ever need me.” he said quietly, his back to you, “I’ll be there. Always. No matter what. I…I’m telling you the truth.”
His voice was low, a smooth, steady rumble that sent shivers down your spine. The way his fingers touched your skin, soft yet firm, made your breath catch in your throat. You hated how even now, after everything, he still had this effect on you. Your body, your heart—they responded to him instinctively, as if drawn to him by some invisible force you couldn’t control.
Your eyes met his, those deep, unwavering eyes that had always been so hard to read. Dark, focused, filled with an intensity that both excited and terrified you. He tilted his head slightly, waiting for your answer, his thumb brushing lightly against your lower lip. The heat between you was palpable, electric, pulling you closer despite the distance you had tried so hard to create between your lives.
But it wasn’t just lust. It was the ache of wanting something you knew you could never fully have.
“I—” You swallowed hard, your voice barely a whisper as you fought to find the words. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
It was the truth. You were caught between desire and heartbreak, between the pull of your body and the ache in your chest.
Nanami’s gaze softened slightly, though his hand remained firm against your chin. “You can always tell me. Even if you don’t know, I’m here to listen.”
His lips were inches from yours now, and your body reacted before your mind could catch up. Your breath hitched, and you felt the throbbing in your core intensify, the need rising within you. But it wasn’t just physical—it was the need to feel close to him again, to bridge the distance between you, if only for a moment.
His thumb grazed your lip again, this time slower, more deliberate. “Tell me what you need.” he whispered, his voice like silk, coaxing you to let go of everything you were holding back.
Your heart pounded in your chest as your eyes fluttered shut for just a second, your resolve slipping away. You wanted him—needed him—but the weight of everything between you still clung to the edges of your mind.
“I want…” you began, your voice trembling as you opened your eyes to meet him once more. “I want you. But I don't want you.”
There it was. The painful truth, laid bare between you.
Nanami’s expression didn’t change, but you could see the flicker of something in his eyes—regret, perhaps, or maybe understanding. He leaned in closer, his forehead nearly touching yours, his breath warm against your skin.
“I know.” he said softly. “And I’m sorry.”
But even as he apologized, his hand slid down from your chin to the curve of your neck, his fingers tracing a slow, deliberate path that sent waves of heat coursing through your body. You inhaled sharply, your resolve crumbling further with every second that passed.
He always knew how to touch you, how to make you forget the pain, the doubts, the distance. It was intoxicating, the way he could pull you in without even trying, and despite everything, you couldn’t help but lean into it. Into him.
His lips hovered over yours, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him, but he didn’t close the gap. He never did—he always waited for you to make the choice, to cross that line. He gave you control, even when it felt like you had none.
“What do you want?” he asked again, his voice barely more than a breath as his hand settled at the base of your neck, fingers brushing the sensitive skin there.
You could feel the tension coiling in your body, the way your heart raced, the way every nerve seemed to be on fire. You wanted to push him away, to tell him that this wasn’t right, that you couldn’t keep doing this. But the pull of him was too strong, and your body betrayed you.
“I want…...” The words caught in your throat, your breath shaky, your lips barely an inch from his. “I want you to make me forget.”
And in that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the pain, not the past, not the uncertainty of what the future held. All that mattered was the feel of his hand on your skin, the way his eyes never left yours, the way his presence grounded you and made you feel alive all at once.
Nanami’s lips finally brushed against yours, a soft, tentative kiss that sent a shock of electricity through your body. You responded instinctively, pressing into him, the taste of him familiar and yet still enough to set your senses ablaze.
His other hand slid down your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every second of it. You moaned softly into his mouth, your body melting against him, your mind blissfully empty of everything except him.
For just this moment, you let yourself forget. Forget the hurt, the separation, the longing that had been eating at you for months. Right now, all that existed was the heat between you, the way his hands moved over your body, the way his lips claimed yours with a tenderness that both healed and hurt.
And for the first time in a long while, you let yourself fall into the moment, into him, knowing that tomorrow would bring all the same questions and heartache. But for tonight, you let yourself be with him, no matter how fleeting it might be.
The kiss lingered, both tender and desperate, a blend of longing and unresolved emotions that seemed to pulse between you. Nanami’s hands roamed your body with a careful intensity, as if he were trying to memorize every curve, every shiver that ran through you. His touch was both familiar and achingly new, a reminder of what you once had and what you had been missing.
You clung to him, your hands tangled in his shirt, pulling him closer as if you could erase the months of separation with just this physical connection. Every touch, every caress felt like a balm to the wound that had been left open for so long.
But even as the moment enveloped you, reality kept its sharp edge. Every kiss, every touch was a reminder of the distance that had come between you, the reasons you’d tried so hard to move on. The passion that ignited between you was a bitter-sweet symphony, playing a melody of both desire and regret.
Nanami broke the kiss, his breathing ragged, his forehead resting against yours. He looked into your eyes with a mixture of yearning and sadness, the weight of everything unsaid pressing heavily between you.
“I’m so sorry.” he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath. “For everything.”
You could only nod, your throat tight, your heart aching at the sincerity in his voice. “I know.” you managed to say, your voice trembling. “I know.”
He cupped your face gently, his thumbs brushing away the tears that had silently fallen. “You mean everything to me, you know?” he said softly, his gaze unwavering. “But I know I can’t just come back and expect everything to be okay.”
You nodded again, tears blurring your vision as you tried to process the complexity of the moment. The feelings between you were still raw, unhealed, and the reality of your situation pressed down hard on both of you. You wanted to hold onto him, to keep him close, but the pain of the past and the uncertainty of the future loomed large.
Kento's massivehands slowly slid from your face to your shoulders, his touch grounding and reassuring. “We can’t go back to how we were.” he said softly, a note of resignation in his voice. “I can’t promise you that everything will be perfect.”
You took a shaky breath, trying to find your voice amidst the whirlwind of emotions. “I don’t expect perfection,” you said, your voice cracking. “I just… I just want to know that you still care, that there’s still something left between us.”
He looked at you with a deep sadness in his eyes, as if he were trying to convey all the things he couldn’t put into words. “I care,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “More than you know. But we both need to heal, to figure out what’s next. I can’t keep coming and going, leaving you with more pain.”
You swallowed hard, trying to reconcile his words with the longing you still felt. “What happens now?” you asked softly, feeling the weight of the question hanging in the air.
Nanami sighed, pulling you into a gentle embrace. “I don’t know.” he admitted.
“Me neither.” You whisper to him as your eyes echoed to him and narrowed. “But I want you to love me. Tonight. Right now.”
“But—”
You kissed him, hungry and passionate. You pull at his jaw, wanting him closer than ever before. You want him near. You want him enveloping you. As though an embrace that would lock you away in his warmth for the rest of your lives. It was as though the fire of young love reawakened after a long hibernation. And you want more than anything this spring, this warmth of spring. His love.
Kento hesitates for a moment, his gaze heavy with concern and desire, before he finally whispers, "Are you sure?"
You nod, breathless, your hands trembling as you reach for him. "I'm sure, Kento. I want you… I've always wanted you."
His resolve falters, and he leans forward, capturing your lips again with a fervor that sends a jolt of electricity through your body. His hands slide over your back, pulling you closer, and you feel the heat of his body pressing against you. He deepens the kiss, his tongue tracing your lips, coaxing you open to taste him, to feel him.
When he finally breaks the kiss, you're both panting, your breaths mingling in the confined space of the car. There's a moment where neither of you speaks, just staring at each other, the weight of your shared desire hanging in the air.
Kento's hand moves between your legs, his fingers grazing over the fabric of your clothes, and you shiver at the contact. He’s gentle at first, almost hesitant, but when he sees the way your body responds, a low growl escapes his throat. He’s lost in the moment, his mouth descending to taste you, his tongue working deftly to unravel every ounce of pleasure he can from you.
You gasp, your back arching against the seat as his tongue dances over your most sensitive parts, his spit mixing with your own arousal. His hands grip your thighs, holding you in place as he devours you like a man starved, each stroke and flick of his tongue pushing you closer to the edge.
When you finally break, a cry tearing from your throat, he doesn’t hesitate. He lifts you easily, pulling you onto his lap, his lips finding yours again in a messy, desperate kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips, the tang of your desire mingling with his own.
He fumbles with his pants, freeing himself from the constraints, and you feel the heat of him, hard and ready, pressing against you. Your eyes meet, and for a moment, there’s a silent understanding — a shared want that transcends words.
With a quiet groan, he grips your hips, guiding you over him, his breath catching as he finally pushes inside. You both gasp, a moan escaping your lips as he fills you completely, your bodies moving in a rhythm that feels as natural as breathing. He clings to you, his movements becoming more urgent, more desperate, and you cling back just as fiercely, not wanting this moment to end.
“I won't stop anymore." he murmurs, his voice a low rumble against your ear, and you know he means it — neither of you want to stop.
Kento’s words hang heavy in the air, igniting something primal within you. You shift your hips, pressing down harder, taking him deeper, and a guttural sound escapes his lips, his hands digging into your waist as if he’s afraid you might disappear.
He starts moving, thrusting up into you with a roughness that takes your breath away. You hold onto his shoulders for balance, your nails digging into his skin, each thrust sending ripples of pleasure through your body.
You couldn't help but groan over and over with every sensual movement, the windows fogging up as the air grows thick with your mingled breaths and moans.
Kento’s mouth is everywhere — on your neck, your collarbone, your breasts. His lips are hot, leaving trails of fire across your skin. He sucks and nips, marking you as his.
And it makes you gasp, makes you arch closer, needing more, craving everything he can give you. Your body moves on instinct, rolling your hips against him, each motion driving him deeper until you feel like you can’t take it anymore.
“More, more….Oh—” you whisper, a plea escaping your lips. He groans in response, tightening his grip on you, his hips slamming into yours with a desperate rhythm.
He shifts, one hand sliding down between your bodies, his fingers finding your sensitive nub. He circles it, presses down, and you cry out, your body clenching around him as the sensations intensify, as every nerve feels like it's on fire.
The sound of skin against skin fills the car, mingling with the soft creak of leather and the panting breaths escaping both of you.
Kento’s pace quickens, his thrusts becoming more erratic, more urgent. “God, you feel so good.” he murmurs, his voice ragged, almost broken.
He leans in, his forehead pressing against yours, his eyes searching yours for something — maybe reassurance, maybe something deeper.
"Tell me you want this." he breathes, his thumb circling faster.
“I want it,” you gasp, your voice trembling with need. “I want you, Kento… don't stop, please…”
That seems to be all he needs. He growls low in his throat, his grip tightening as he thrusts into you with renewed fervor, each movement harder, deeper, pushing you both to the edge of oblivion. Your hands clutch his hair, pulling him closer as you feel the coil tightening in your belly, threatening to snap.
He shifts again, angling his hips to hit that perfect spot inside you, and you scream, the sound raw and needy, your body trembling. You can feel the heat pooling, feel the tension building to an unbearable point.
He leans back slightly, watching you with hooded eyes, and the sight of him — pupils blown wide, lips parted, sweat slicking his skin — sends a new wave of desire crashing through you.
“Come for me, baby.” he commands, his voice a gravelly whisper. “Let me feel you.”
The words push you over the edge, your body convulsing around him as you shatter, pleasure ripping through you like a tidal wave. Kento groans, feeling you clench around him, and he thrusts a few more times before he’s there too, his own release surging through him with a low, guttural sound.
You collapse against him, both of you panting, bodies trembling and slick with sweat. For a moment, you just stay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, feeling the aftershocks of what you’ve just shared. He strokes your back gently, his breath still uneven, his heart pounding against yours.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, his voice filled with concern, his thumb brushing a strand of hair from your face.
You smile, your fingers tracing the lines of his jaw. "More than okay, baby." you whisper, leaning in to kiss him again, tasting the salt of your shared exertion on his lips. "I don't want this to end.”
“I missed you.” He whispered lowly as he pressed a kiss on your palm. “More than you ever could know.”
You smiled at him. “Me too, my love.”
“I want to come home….and make things right.” Your husband tells you, his eyes tortured by desperation. “I want to make it up to you.”
“I know.” You nodded at him, leaning forward and kissing his chin. “Just come home. We’ll figure it out….like we always do.”
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#nanami kento#kento nanami#nanami#kento#nanami kento x y/n#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#kento nanami x y/n#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento x reader#kento x y/n#kento x you#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#nanami smut#nanami kento smut#jjk kinktober
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Death Wish 6
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: mob!Bucky Barnes
Part of the mob drabbles au
Summary: you’re desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Photo Inspo
You sense movement, you hear scuffing, and feel the air shift. Yet all you can focus on is each breath. Your chest throbs with the effort it takes to just keep going. To just keep living.
The smell of gunpowder clogs your nose and the taste of bile stains your tongue. The adrenaline seeps from you, leaving you weak and wilting. Your arms tremble as you barely keep yourself from crumpling into a heap.
Your legs are bent to one side and your head hangs under an invisible veil. He’s dead. Your father is dead. You killed him. But why aren’t you sad?
You’re afraid. Anxious. Addled. But you’re not sad. You have no remorse for the life lost. That is what hurts. Your own callousness stabs you in the heart.
You shudder and heave again. Barnes’ shadow looms over you and slowly, he bends his knees to come to level with you. He has his gun in his hand. He holds it without intent.
“You got what you asked for. My end is done,” he says.
You raise your head slowly and look at him. You blink. His end... what about yours?
“It’s late. You’re tired,” he reaches to slide the gun into his holster. “You’re gonna go home and you’re going to sleep. And in the morning, when my man comes to hand you that black envelope, you’re going to cry and act shocked.”
You push your lip out and shake your head. You search his expression. He is stoic and unbothered.
“That’s what you’re going to do, isn’t it, doll?” He prompts.
You swallow, “what do you want--”
“I just told you what I want you to do,” he interjects. “Don’t you worry, I always collect my debts.”
He stands and tugs on his cuffs. He faces the chair and you slowly follow his gaze to the corpse. Your father’s face is slack and lifeless. You’re horrified at the sight of death, that it’s his, doesn’t affect you as much.
You sit and stare and try to feel. That’s your father. That’s the man who is responsible for your very being. You share blood. He has been there every moment of your life. His is a constant.
Not anymore and that just doesn’t matter to you. It should. Shouldn’t it?
Well, what is there to miss about him?
“Stand up and walk out of here. There’s a light pole by the gate. Wait there.” Barnes instructs without looking back.
He pushes his arms back and slides off his jacket. He folds it and places it on the bare metal table by the wall. He turns back and unbuttons his sleeves. He rolls them as he nears your father’s body.
“I’m being patient because I know you’re in shock, so I’ll tell you one my time to go,” he says, focus on the dead man. “You and your sisters are under my protection. Go and be with them.”
You take a breath and steady yourself as best you can. You stand and hug yourself. You look at your father one last time and turn away. You walk out stiffly. Now that you’re on your feet, you don’t ever want to stop.
You pass through the door and trod across the tarmac. You come into the yellow cone of light cast beneath the tall pole and stop. You wait. Not long before Rogers appears in his black cadillac.
That woman is gone. You don’t wonder who she is. If she’s with him, she must be one of them. You are too. You were born into that life, but now, you really do belong.
Neither of you say a word as he drives you home. You don’t look back as you get out of the car and go inside. Your sisters aren’t home yet. You don’t expect them to be. You can never go to The Reel without stopping at the milkshake place after and they stay open late for the movie goers.
Those little details are so meaningless now. Nothing really makes a difference. Life is a fraying thread and it will snap. You just don’t know which tug will be the one that breaks it.
You go upstairs and undress. You pull on a pajama set and take your clothes downstairs to the bin. You lay down on the couch and wait for your sisters.
When they get home, you quietly listen to them jabber. They talk about the movie. Kitty loves how good it looked. It must have been remastered and Adrienne got the last bag of caramel corn. You force a smile but it doesn’t feel believable. It must be. They give you your box of chocolate-covered raisins and wish you a good night.
You follow them upstairs. As you get to your door, Adrienne says your name. Both you and Kitty stop and look at her.
“I wish every day could be like this,” she says.
Kitty nods, “yeah, I hope he never comes home.”
Your heart feels like it’s stopped. You don’t know how you’re doing it. You don’t know how you’re not shrieking and pulling your hair out. Any sane person would be a puddle. He's not coming back. Your father is dead and you killed him.
“Wouldn’t that be nice?” You say at last. “Good night.”
“Night,” Adrienne chimes back and Kitty echoes her.
You all go into your rooms and shut the doors. You put the raisins on the dresser and ignore your bed. You go to the closet where you used to hide and listen to your father yell. You sit on the floor and lean into the wall. You hug your legs and stare into the static darkness.
The night is long and sleepless. Your head dips now and again but you start as the echo of a gunshot brings you back before you can succumb to the depths. The morning light peers in from the other side of the slatted door.
You climb out of the closet and listen to the house. You stay in your room. You hear Kitty’s door first, then Adrienne’s a few minutes later. You stand by your door and argue with yourself. Just go. Go out and act like everything is normal. Go and enjoy your new life free of that tyrant.
It’s only the doorbell that makes you go out. You hear footsteps below and you open your door. You come to the top of the stairs as Kitty stands at the door. Adrienne appears just behind her.
“Courtesy of the boss,” Rogers deep voice is crisp in the early hours.
Kitty thanks him in a whisper. She shuts the door as he goes. She doesn’t move until you hear his car engine.
“What is it?” Adrienne asks.
Kitty turns. You sit on the top stair as she holds the black envelope. Her eyes are stuck to it. Adrienne stumbles and catches herself on the wall. You languish in the silence. All three of you.
Kitty looks up at you and you look between her and Adrienne. Your eyes search each other, taking turns, frozen, frightened. Now that your father is gone, what happens to you?
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#series#drabble#au#mob au#death wish#mcu#marvel#captain america#avengers#winter soldier
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Love love love your writing Jade, I must have reread everything a dozen times!
For a dad!character request, what would you think of Single father Remus signing up to chaperone a school event or field trip? Maybe he meets the newest teacher, who happens to be his exact idea of the perfect person for him…
(Lots of love<3)
“Don’t get– forget your coat, dad.”
Remus grabs his coat from the passenger seat with a self-deprecating sigh. “I’m s’posed to remember things for you, Lia.”
Cordelia smiles up at him, her shiny coat and boots already taking on rain. “Okay, so ‘member my lunch, then.”
Remus turns back to the passenger seat to grab her packed lunch from the footwell. “Thank you.”
Remus is the kind of parent who writes a list every week, budgeting to the penny and laying out uniforms the night before, but he’s off-kilter today. “I wish your teacher could’ve given me some warning.”
“She’s new, dad. You have to be nice for new people, ‘cos they don’t know– she’s not used to it.”
Remus locks the car door, already cold to the bone and wishing they could’ve called off sick. He offers Cordelia her lunchbox (which isn’t a box at all, but a padded fabric zip up pouch in fashion with the rest of the girls her age), and tugs on his jacket. It’s not his, it belonged to Sirius a few years ago, but it got left in his wardrobe somehow and he’s been wearing it since.
“Okay, lovely girl, what’s the rules for today?” he asks, taking her hand.
“To be good.”
“Yeah, and what next?”
“To stay with my buddy.”
“Yes, and what’s the last one?”
She beams at him and waves their joined hands. “To have fun!”
Remus doesn’t think he’ll be having much of it. He isn’t on the PTA, he had no idea parents even went on these trips, but they’re short-staffed at Cordelia’s school lately and now the year two teacher is off sick, and the phone call was a shock. He didn’t have the wherewithal to say no.
Cordelia’s class are waiting outside of the school gates near a big red and green bus. Remus is the only parent. Why is he the only parent? There are around thirty kids and only two teachers, the newest of which stands at the front, your hands behind your back and a massive smile on your lips despite the bad weather.
You’re very pretty, Remus has already thought before, and you dress sweetly, happy colours and cute skirts and pants with flowers and hearts and stars. You’re reaching up into the sky as you say, “So they have lots of energy to grow big and tall like us!”
Most of the kids are listening aptly, though pods of them chatter or fight.
You see Remus quickly and dodge around the children to meet him. “Mr. Lupin! Hello, hi Lia. I have a packet for you.”
He smiles awkwardly. “Right.” What’s a packet? He looks down at Cordelia but she’s straining against his hand, desperate to go and talk to her friends. “You can go, lovely. I’ll be right here.”
“Can I sit with you on the bus?” she asks.
He’d definitely prefer it. “Whatever you want to do. Want me to have your lunchbox?”
“No, that’s okay!” She leans up for a kiss. Remus suddenly wonders if he’s any good at being a parent, knowing you’re watching, but he leans down for a kiss and gives her a quick pat on the back. “Love you.”
“Love you.” He clears his throat and stands up. “The packet?”
You’re looking at him funny.
“What?” he asks.
“Nothing, nothing,” you stay, still smiling. He’s ninety nine percent sure you aren’t making fun.
You load the children onto the bus and have him stand at the front with you, squished together in the aisle. “This is Lia’s dad, Mr. Lupin. Can everyone say hi?” He’s sure he’s beet red. “He’s our chaperone today. You listen to him just like you’d listen to me or Mrs. Davies. If Mr. Lupin tells you to stop talking, to stop running, anything at all, you listen. But today is about having fun and seeing all the flowers and bugs, so let’s have lots of fun!” You touch his elbow gently. He smiles.
Lia forgets that she wanted to sit with Remus by that time, and you end up hip to hip in the front row. The children are immensely loud, and Mrs. Davies has to constantly ask them to be quiet, but it’s not as though Remus would notice; when he woke up that morning he had no idea he’d be doing this, his schoolyard crush for you feels as though it’s written over his forehead, and he’s more nervous than he’s felt in years.
Remus is cool. He’s the cool friend, the quiet, collected one, who doesn’t stutter nor falter, but he finds it harder to be that way with you when you’ve seen him pick Cordelia up from the yard and kiss every inch of her face and tell her in baby talk that he missed her so so much.
“I got you something.”
Cool, Remus says to himself. I’m cool.
You unveil an informational packet and a small purple box. “That’s just the stuff I told you on the phone this morning,” you say, “and some emergency stuff you can read before we get there. God forbid something happen, but if it does, you aren’t liable. I, however, will get in lots of trouble.” You offer the box. Even your hands are cute.
It’s a rough day. The kids are rowdy, the weather is wet. Lia’s friend Kory keeps stepping in puddles and Lia herself won’t leave Remus alone. She wants to eat lunch in his lap and half gets her way, the two of them holding hands, Remus a big head surrounded by little girls.
“What’s that?” she asks in a whisper.
“This?” He knocks the purple box with his knuckle. “This was from Miss L/N.” He opens the plastic lid to show her the treasure inside, a caramel donut with chocolate shavings. It looks expensive and delicious. “Should we share?” he whispers back.
“Yes, please.”
Remus breaks it in half, and Lia breaks her half into half again to share with Kory. He feels eyes on his face and looks up to find you watching him with a soft look, but you promptly flatten it and look down. You pick at your lunch, and choke when someone asks you if you’re alright.
Oh, he thinks, giving Lia’s back a quick rub. Chaperoning really isn’t so bad.
#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#marauders era#remus x reader#remus x you#marauders#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#marauders x reader#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fanfiction#the marauders
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*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚— after sickness, after health + sae itoshi.
૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — your ex husband is a menace. married or not, you'll always belong to him.
⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up to 20s, smut, angst, divorce, custody battles, you have kids, cheating (with sae lol), manipulation, possesion, slight yandere if you squint, dub-con, tummy bulges, hold the moan, spit!kink, drunk sex, unprotected sex, toxic relationships, previously established relationships, mentions of arguments, ex husband + pro player!sae, fem!reader - not beta read !
⭑ words — 1.5K.
⭑ notes — hello... i was not meant to write this but,, i fear i cannot escape the bllk brain rot lmao !! sorry if he's ooc or too mean but i hope u like it ily guys mwah <3 - m.list ✩
oooo ex husband!sae is so annoying, jarring, he’s horrible.
the divorce is somewhat amicable. both of you pretend it is. you were young and in love but now you’re growing out of affectionate shoes that are too small for you now. it hurts. but you pretend.
ex husband!sae takes what’s his and you take what’s yours. sae doesn’t want what you have and what he gave you — being the big bread winner he was, you keep the house and the cars, the expensive wedding gifts his parents sent from abroad. pity presents, he calls them. he doesn’t want you to be out on your own.
the only thing you and ex husband!sae fight over are the kids — it’s a long and drawn out battle. very messy with tears on your end begging him to call it even and take the deal your lawyer offers up so that the public stops tearing you down. he likes that you’ve called him against the wishes of your lawyers, you’re coming to him as his ex-wife — pleading with him in that way that makes his lips quirk up in a cruel smile because it’s been so long since ex husband!sae heard you beg for him like that.
maybe the custody battle was only to drag you through the mud, make you hurt a little bit so you remember ex husband!sae for the rest of your life. the time you spend with kids is split down the middle.
ex husband!sae hears it from one of your little girls on the way back from their ballet class that mommy is seeing someone new. your other daughter likes him a lot, says he gets them ice cream on the weekends where you have them. and sure enough, your ex doesn’t like that, a weird and sick sense of possession curling around his heart and lungs because you’re not supposed to have been able to move on from sae. you’re only supposed to be happy with him.
ex husband!sae who invites himself over to dinner with your girls on the night he knows that your new boy toy will be there. a sense of pride washes over him as he takes in your expression when you open the front door to him; your eyes wide, pretty lips parted in a delicate ‘o’ — you look as though you might cry, asking him if he’s here for the girls and blinking quick when he says he wants to join the four of you for dinner. he watches the curve of your ass as you lead him inside, wanting to rip that little apron right off of you and make you his again in front of your boyfriend.
the kitchen is cramped with both men politely arguing over how to make the girls’ favourite dinner while they watch bluey out in the living room — paying no mind to the tension building down the hall. your boyfriend seems uncomfortable with how comfortable ex husband!sae is in your space. he knows where the spices are, how you like to wash the dishes as you go along, the way you set the dinner table. your stress runs high as sae flits through your home, after all he did live here once too.
your boyfriend puts his hand on your shoulder. sae smiles when you shrug him off.
the polite yet snide comments continue when your girls are seated for their meals. ex husband!sae makes it known that your current partner has no place at the table, that he could never have you because you’re too loyal to the routine and life that you know. you turn to the fancy bottle of red wine sae bought with him as stress relief.
you’re slightly tipsy when ex husband!sae puts your children to bed — he stops on the creaky stairs because he can hear you drunkenly argue with your boyfriend about tonight’s events and he can’t help but feel as if he’s won. your boyfriend doesn’t think that sae should be around, that he’s bad for you, for the girls too for picking fights in front of them. and like the loyal little thing you are, you defend your ex-husband because he’s a good father and he takes care of you. he always has.
sae only steps in when he sees you getting upset, crumbling under the weight of the evening, the stress of being a single mother with someone who doesn’t understand it the way your ex does. no one else should have the power to make you cry like the midfielder does. that’s sae’s job. the steps of the stairs groan under the weight of his footsteps as sae trudges down them — intervening when you flinch away from your boyfriend who’s raised his voice at you in an attempt to get you to see that ex husband!sae is bad for you.
you screw your eyes shut and clench your fists, not intoxicated enough to fail to gently remind your current partner. “please don’t yell at me.”
you sound so hurt by the argument and that only serves to piss sae off.
“i can take care of her from here,” ex husband!sae brushes past your boyfriend to pull your swaying frame into his chest — sweeping in like your knight in shining armour and ushering the man out of his house with a sick smirk. “i think you should leave.” your boyfriend says he’ll text you later on, no doubt, with the intention to smooth things over while he still feels threatened by your pro-football player ex. but you don’t find the time to respond when later does eventually come around.
because later that night, you give into your urges and succumb to familiarity where ex husband!sae has your knees pressed into your shoulders and your hot cunt wrapped around his shaft — milking him so good like you always have. like you’re meant to be. the midfielder shudders above you, listening out for the squelching symphony your sex sings for him as he fucks you nice and slow. sae fills you up until you can feel his cock in your lungs, dragging his milky pre along your walls as if it’s his signature on your body.
the older itoshi brother would be lying if he said he didn’t miss you, your body, your kisses. the way you dreamily echo his name like it’s a prayer every time he angles his cock to hit your sweet spots. you find his hands within the messy sheets, the slickness of your heat making it easier for sae to grind himself into you. he feels lightheaded with ecstasy, his grunts turning to deep rooted moans as he swoops down to kiss you with tongue — a poor attempt to silence your squeals since your girls are sleeping just down the hall.
the bed that you used to share betrays you, crying from underneath the languid push and pull of your bodies working together for orgasm. ex husband!sae is torn between capturing your teary face in the now and reminiscing all the times he’d fucked you or made love to you against these very sheets. the thought of your new boyfriend doing the same makes him hotter, makes him move faster — slurring and spitting his praises into your eager mouth as his balls clap against the curve of your ass and the crude mix of precum and your juices tie sae itoshi to you.
licking into his mouth, you lift a hand to curl into sae’s roots and tug hard in the way that he likes. “sae,” you mewl, breathless and bambi eyed. “feel s’fuckin’ good. hah! d-don’t stop, m-missed you!”
“don’t tell me what to do, ‘couldn’t stop even if you begged for it.” sweat beads on ex husband!sae’s forehead and he closes his eyes, hips stuttering even though they piston into yours. he can’t tell if you actually miss him or if it’s the sex that’s making you feel this way — and quite frankly, he’s in the same boat. he hooks your thighs over his shoulders and presses the entirety of his body over yours, putting all of his energy in to deep, long strokes that make you choke on your words and gush sweet and clear streams around the base of his throbbing cock.
“you feel me here, love?” your ex husband!sae, asks, magenta hair flopping over his eyes — his hips flush against your puffy clit as your juices pearl along side it. he gives you a rough thrust, fucking you like it’s your wedding night all over again and he hasn’t made the last few months of your life a living hell. like he loves you. “c’mon baby, pay attention. can’t believe you’re so shameless, letting me have you like this again. do you feel me?” sae presses down on your tummy where his thick dick bulges, the sensation making the whites of your eyes visible as they roll back into your skull.
you nod, delirious with desire, pussy trapping your ex husband inside of you. “y-yes, sae! f-feel you!”
“good, because i belong here, sweetheart,” ex husband!sae coos, an evil spark haunting his aquamarine eyes. “i’m the only one who ever gets to fuck you here. because no matter what happens — you’ll always be mine and i’ll always be yours.”
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk smut#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi sae smut#blue lock smut#blue lock x you#bllk x you#itoshi sae x you#sae itoshi x reader#itoshi sae angst#bllk angst#sae itoshi x you#sae itoshi smut#sae itoshi imagines#sae itoshi angst#itoshi sae imagines#✧ ₊˚੭ — writing#tteokdoroki#tw: dubcon#tw: tummy bulges#tw: cheating
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お~ & ご~ Polite Language
丁寧語 (ていねいご・Polite Language)・美化語 (びかご・Refined Language)
Two of the major components of polite and refined language (丁寧語 and 美化語) are the prefixes お~ and ご~. Both can be represented by the kanji 御 (and in some cases it can also be pronounced おん). There is no hard and fast rule as to which words do and don't use お~ or ご~ so in general you need to memorize which words can have this prefix as well as which reading to use (although often it is written in kana). However, there are a few general principles which can help you to choose.
お~
Language used to make one's language more refined. Used at the beginning of nouns and adjectives. It can also be used with verb stems and adverbs in certain situations. In general, お~ attaches to nouns that are native Japanese words (和語, わご), but some words of Chinese origin (漢語, かんご) can also take this prefix. Words with this prefix are often related to words used in daily life, such as food and drink, or things related to everyday tasks.
ご~
A word placed at the beginning of a noun or adjective to indicate politeness. Only used for kanji compound words in which the first character is an on'yomi character, therefore words of Chinese origin (漢語, かんご). The words attached to this prefix are often abstract nouns, and not physical objects. There are a few native Japanese (和語, わご) adverbs and adjectives that can use this prefix. While お~ is usually in kana, ご~ is most commonly written in kanji.
Integrated Words
お and ご have become such an integral part of some words, that they cannot be removed and do not add politeness or respect to the word.
Examples:
おにぎり onigiri, rice ball
おはよう good morning
おなら fart
ごめん sorry
ごはん meal, rice
Deciding whether to use お~ or ご~ or no prefix at all
お~ and ご~ are often used to convey a feeling or respect or politeness towards the person you are addressing, so while you often use it with words that belong to the person, words that don't belong to the person are less commonly heard. お車 (おくるま) can be used to talk about a superior's car, but you wouldn't say お飛行機 (おひこうき) or お電車 (おでんしゃ) because those don't belong to them.
お~ and ご~ aren't used with katakana words, so you won't find it used with loan words. However, おトイレ can be used, probably because it is an everyday word.
What about おん?
In spoken formal Japanese, 御 is pronounced as おん when the word it is attached to is referring to an organization. For example: 御社 (おんしゃ, your (someone else's) company), and 御校 (おんこう, your (someone else's) school). [Note: In formal writing, 貴社 (きしゃ, your company) and 貴校 (きこう, your school) are used.] You can also read 御礼 (gratitude) as either おれい or おんれい, with おんれい being the more formal of the two.
Oh wait, I forgot to mention み~
A much less common reading of the prefix 御 is み, which is specifically used when talking about or to someone who deserves the highest respect - Buddha, God, the emperor, members of the imperial family. 御心 is usually read as おこころ but is read as みこころ when referring to the 心 (heart/love) of Buddha, God, or the emperor. 御国 (みくに) is country, 御名 (みな) is name, 御手 (みて) is hand, 御顔 (みかお) is face, and 御霊 (みたま) is spirit when referring to these entities of high respect.
And then there is ぎょ~
When 御 is read as ぎょ it shows respect to the emperor and his family, whether it's used as a prefix or not. 崩御 (ほうぎょ) is used only to refer to the death of the emperor or a member of the imperial family. Most of the words using ぎょ are very specialized, however a few are known in mainstream use. 御意 (ぎょい) originally was used to talk about the will of the emperor, but came to mean "as you wish" and can be used for anyone of a higher status than you. It is in use today, but is very formal and a bit old-fashioned. It's most common in writing. 御者 (ぎょしゃ) originally meant a coachman who drove a horse-drawn coach or carriage for the emperor and the imperial family, but today it is a general word for coachman.
Examples
Now to the examples!
Nouns
お名前 おなまえ name
ご家族 ごかぞく family
Adjectives
お優しい おやさしい kind
ご丁寧 ごていねい polite
Adverbs
お近く おちかく near
ごゆっくり take your time
Verbs
Used with the pattern お・ご~する or お~になる
お預かりする おあずかりする to look after
ご活躍する ごかつやくする to be active
お食べになる おたべになる to eat
My textbook: 外国人のための日本語敬語の使い方基本表現85
#日本語#japanese#japanese language#japanese langblr#japanese studyblr#langblr#studyblr#敬語#丁寧語#美化語#formal japanese#keigo#polite language#respectful language#tokidokitokyo#tdtstudy
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I Hate It When You're Drunk - 7
Character: bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader
Summary: A forbidden love between a princess and her bodyguard. They love each other deeply, but their relationship is threatened by the tyrant king's oppressive rule and their differing social statuses.
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In the other room, laughter and excitement filled the air as you and your bridesmaids gathered for the wedding preparations. Your friends, all hopeless romantics, were thrilled for you, knowing how much this day meant.
They huddled around, admiring your wedding dress—an elegant, simple gown adorned with delicate flower embroidery. The white fabric shimmered softly in the light, making you look like a vision of grace.
You wore a crown that once belonged to your mother, a cherished heirloom that your father had handed to you himself. After receiving his permission for this momentous occasion, the bitterness you once held toward him had softened, if only slightly.
As you stood before the mirror, gazing at your reflection, the crown glinted softly in the light, a symbol of the legacy you carried. You couldn’t help but wish that your mother were here with you, guiding you through this pivotal day.
With the international media coverage, a small part of you hoped that wherever she was, she would see the news and know that her daughter was getting married.
“You look stunning,” one of your bridesmaids said, her voice filled with genuine admiration.
“Bucky’s going to lose his breath when he sees you,” another chimed in, a playful grin on her face.
“You two are perfect for each other,” someone added, placing a hand on your shoulder. “We’ve all seen the way he looks at you. There’s no doubt in my mind this is exactly how it’s supposed to be.”
Their words were heartfelt, and as they each gave their blessings, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth. Their support made the day even more special, reminding you that you weren’t just marrying Bucky—you were also surrounded by people who truly cared for you and wanted to see you happy.
The wedding became a national holiday, a day of grand celebration and international coverage. Streets were lined with eager spectators as the festivities unfolded in a magnificent parade. Soldiers in gleaming uniforms rode atop powerful horses, their disciplined ranks adding a military grandeur to the occasion.
King Leonard seized the opportunity to showcase the might of Veridian, reminding the world of the nation's strength under his iron rule. As Bucky watched the display, he realized with a sinking feeling that he had truly entered the lion's den.
“We have to go to the church,” said Archer, the Defense Minister of Veridian. With no family of his own, Bucky found himself accompanied by Archer, his father’s old friend and now the closest thing he had to family. The ministry of defense, a symbol of the power Bucky was stepping into, stood by his side.
They climbed into a classic Rolls-Royce, the car gliding through the streets toward the church. The clear windows made Bucky an object of attention, with every pair of eyes in the crowd focused on him. People cheered and waved the flag of the country, their excitement palpable as they awaited the groom’s arrival.
“Wave, Bucky,” Archer prompted.
Bucky waved, but it felt hollow. He was like a goldfish in a glass bowl, exposed and on display for all to see.
“Your father would be proud of you,” Archer remarked.
Bucky could only wish his father were there to see this day.
“Except your mom. She’d be furious that you’re marrying the king’s daughter,” Archer added with a wry smile.
“If she’s still alive, I hope this is enough to bring her back, wherever she is,” Bucky replied, his voice tinged with a longing he couldn’t suppress.
“She’s still alive,” Archer said, his tone suddenly serious.
Bucky’s eyes snapped to Archer’s, disbelief and hope warring within him. “Don’t joke with me,” he said, his voice tight with emotion.
“I know where she is,” Archer responded calmly.
Relief washed over Bucky like a tidal wave, the best news he had heard in years. “Where is she?” he demanded, but then hesitated, glancing around. “Wait, is it safe to talk about this here?”
“There are no bugs in the car, and the driver is one of my people,” Archer reassured him.
Thank God, Bucky thought, grateful that Archer had thought everything through. “So where is she?”
“In an enemy state,” Archer said, pausing before revealing the name. “Thalassa.”
Bucky’s world tilted on its axis. Thalassa—the very mention of the place sent a chill down his spine. King Leonard’s decree was clear: anyone who visited Thalassa would be branded a traitor. His mother had chosen to live in a country that refused to acknowledge Leonard as the rightful ruler.
“I hope you can make a change around here,” Archer said, his words heavy with meaning.
Bucky could only hope, his mind spinning with the revelation and the burden it now placed on his shoulders.
👑👑👑👑👑
Bucky arrived at the church first, stepping into the grand hall that had been meticulously decorated for the royal wedding. The aisles were lined with white roses, and soft golden drapes hung from the high arches, casting a warm, regal glow throughout the space. The scent of fresh flowers mixed with the incense, creating an atmosphere that was both sacred and celebratory.
Diplomatic guests from across the world filled the pews, their attire as varied and ornate as their countries of origin. Bucky, however, recognized none of them. They were not his guests but those of King Leonard, each one a powerful figure in their own right, all there to witness the union under the king's command.
Bucky's attention was momentarily diverted to the seats behind King seat. Cassian and his uncle, Duke Griffin, were seated there, their presence adding another layer of complexity to the scene.
Cassian, who had earlier expressed his disillusionment with the arranged marriage, now sat with a mask of indifference. His eyes occasionally flicked toward Bucky, a mixture of pity and curiosity in his gaze. Beside him, Duke Griffin, an imposing figure with a sharp gaze, remained impassive.
As Bucky stood at the front, feeling the weight of their gazes on him, the doors opened to reveal King Leonard. The entire congregation stood and bowed deeply as the king entered, a silent acknowledgment of his absolute authority. Leonard’s presence commanded the room, his every step echoing through the grand hall.
Before taking his seat, Leonard approached Bucky, his expression unreadable. He placed a firm hand on Bucky’s shoulder, a gesture that felt more like a warning than reassurance.
“Your duty is just to make my daughter happy,” Leonard said, his voice low and cold. “I don’t expect anything else from you.”
Bucky didn’t trust himself to speak. He simply nodded, his throat tight, as Leonard withdrew and moved to his place of honor.
A hush fell over the crowd as the master of ceremonies stepped forward. “Ladies and gentlemen,” the voice echoed through the church, “the bride, Her Royal Highness, the Princess, will now arrive.”
As the church doors opened, the anticipation in the air became palpable. The choir's voices rose in harmony with the music, and the orchestra began playing Canon in D, the notes echoing through the grand hall.
Bucky stood at the altar, his back to the entrance. His heart pounded in his chest, each beat a drum of nervous energy that reverberated through his entire being. He knew the moment had come, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around just yet. His breath caught in his throat as he tried to steady himself, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
As you entered the church, the soft rustle of your gown mixed with the melodious strains of Canon in D, creating a symphony that enveloped you. Each step felt like you were walking through a dream, your heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nerves.
The grandeur of the church overwhelmed you—the lavish decorations, the rows of esteemed diplomatic guests, and the sea of faces turned in anticipation. But amidst the opulence, your focus was solely on Bucky. He was the reason for every flutter in your chest, every tremor in your hands.
Your bouquet of fresh flowers felt like a lifeline, grounding you amidst the storm of emotions. The crown your father had gifted you, a delicate piece of history, seemed to weigh heavier now. It was a reminder of your lineage and the monumental step you were about to take.
The aisle stretched before you, a path leading to your future. With every step, you could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on you. Despite the nerves and the overwhelming feeling that this was all too surreal, a smile found its way to your lips. You couldn’t believe it—after everything you’d been through, you were finally here, marrying the man you loved.
King Leonard, standing beside you, took a firm but reassuring grip on your arm. His presence was both a comfort and a reminder of the responsibility and expectation that came with this union. As he guided you down the aisle, the weight of the moment was palpable. His role was to lead you to Bucky, ensuring that you were united in front of everyone who mattered.
As you reached the midpoint of the aisle, you looked up at him with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Father."
Leonard's gaze softened slightly, though his voice remained steady. "If he ever makes you cry or hurts you, just tell me."
You met his eyes with unwavering confidence. "That will never happen."
As you walked closer, Bucky finally found the courage to turn around. The sight of you took his breath away. You looked like a vision, an ethereal presence that made his heart skip a beat. His chest tightened with a mix of love and fear, knowing that this was it—the moment that would change both your lives forever.
The ceremony began, and the priest’s voice filled the air with solemnity and grace. He spoke of love, commitment, and the vows you were about to take. The words washed over you both, their weight sinking deep into your hearts. Bucky glanced at you, his heart pounding, as the priest asked him the most important question of his life.
"Do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do you part?"
Bucky’s voice was steady, though he felt anything but. "I do."
The priest then turned to you, and you felt a wave of emotions—love, fear, excitement—crash over you.
"And do you, Princess, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, till death do you part?"
With a voice filled with certainty and love, you answered, "I do."
The priest smiled warmly and announced, "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
Bucky reached up to lift your veil, his hands trembling slightly. As he finally revealed your face, your smile met his, a beacon of pure joy that made his heart race.
Without waiting for the priest to instruct you, Bucky leaned in and kissed you. The spontaneous, heartfelt gesture drew laughter and applause from the guests, filling the church with a warmth that melted away any lingering tension.
Hand in hand, you and Bucky turned to face the guests, but first, you both bowed deeply to the king.
King Leonard, with a measured smile, stepped forward. "Welcome to the family, James."
Bucky met the king's gaze, doing his best to suppress the unease bubbling beneath the surface. "It's an honor, Your Majesty."
With the formalities complete, you both began the procession down the aisle, greeting guests as you went. Outside the church, the crowds had gathered, their cheers erupting as you stepped out. The sight of you in your beautiful white dress and Bucky in his military uniform was like something out of a fairy tale. The people waved flags and called out well-wishes, celebrating what seemed to be the happiest day of your life.
But Bucky couldn’t shake the gnawing fear that clung to him. The memory of the blood-red message burned in his mind, making him feel vulnerable in the open space. As much as he tried to keep up appearances, the urge to get inside, away from prying eyes, was overwhelming.
Thankfully, the ornate carriage that awaited you both was fitted with bulletproof glass, offering a sense of security that Bucky desperately needed. Once inside, you beamed with happiness, the joy of the day radiating from you.
"Can you believe it, Bucky? We’re finally married!" you said, your voice bubbling with excitement as you squeezed his hand.
Bucky forced a smile, trying to match your enthusiasm. "Yeah… finally."
You leaned closer to him, your eyes sparkling. "I knew this day would be perfect, but I never imagined it would feel this incredible."
Bucky nodded, his mind racing. "It’s everything you deserved."
You noticed a hint of something in his voice—a flicker of doubt, perhaps—but dismissed it, too wrapped up in the joy of the moment to let it linger.
As the carriage began its journey back to the castle, you continued talking about the day, the guests, and the future that lay ahead. Bucky listened, his hand still holding yours, but his thoughts were elsewhere, his eyes flicking nervously toward the bulletproof windows. The carriage offered safety, but the dread in his heart remained.
Unaware of the storm brewing inside him, you smiled, resting your head on his shoulder, content in the belief that this was the start of your happily ever after.
👑👑👑👑👑👑
Bucky had just finished changing into a suit when he stepped out of the room, adjusting his tie. The weight of the day was pressing down on him, but he was determined to keep it together for your sake. As he walked into the hallway, he was suddenly shoved back, his shoulder slamming into the wall. The shock of the impact made him blink, and when his eyes focused, he felt as if he were seeing a ghost.
"Lucas?" Bucky's voice wavered in disbelief.
The man before him was a wreck—a shadow of the comrade he once knew. Lucas’s face was gaunt, his eyes bloodshot and wild, his clothes disheveled like he had crawled out from the depths of hell. His hands trembled, and in one of them, a gun was pointed directly at Bucky's chest.
"You… you fucking traitor!" Lucas spat the words with venom, his voice cracking under the weight of betrayal. "We trusted you! Our comrades… our friends… and you sold us out to that monster!"
Bucky raised his hands slowly, trying to calm his friend. "Lucas, listen to me—"
"Shut up!" Lucas’s voice was a shriek, desperate and unhinged. He shook his head, his grip on the gun tightening. "You don’t get to talk! Do you know what they did to us? What they did to me?"
"I know, and I’m going to make things right," Bucky said, his voice low, trying to keep it steady even as his heart raced. "But killing me won’t change what happened."
"You don’t get it, do you? It’s too late! It’s all too fucking late!" Lucas’s eyes were filled with rage and sorrow, a man broken by unimaginable horrors. He took a step closer, the barrel of the gun trembling but still aimed squarely at Bucky.
Bucky could see Lucas was beyond reason, his mind fractured by the torment he had endured. Every second felt like an eternity as the gun wavered, Lucas’s finger twitching on the trigger. The fear was real, but Bucky couldn’t let it control him.
"Lucas, please," Bucky’s voice was almost a whisper. "I swear, I didn’t betray you. We can fix this together—"
A gunshot rang out, the sound echoing through the hall like a death knell. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut, expecting the searing pain of a bullet tearing into him. But nothing came. No pain, no darkness. He opened his eyes, and the sight before him made his breath catch in his throat.
Lucas stood there, his eyes wide with shock, blood seeping through his shirt from a wound in his chest. He staggered, his grip on the gun loosening. Bucky instinctively reached out, catching Lucas before he could collapse to the floor.
"It… it wasn’t you. I’m… Avenge us," Lucas choked out, blood bubbling up in his mouth as he spoke.
"Don’t speak, Lucas. I’ll get help," Bucky said, his voice breaking as he tried to hold back the tears. He could feel the life draining out of his friend, the warmth leaving his body.
"It’s… too late," Lucas whispered, his voice barely audible now.
Bucky looked up, desperation and anger swirling in his chest, and that’s when he saw him—Isaac. The man he thought was dead, standing there as if nothing had happened. Isaac was clean, composed, his hair neatly combed, and his suit pristine. He looked every bit the part of someone who had just stepped out of a palace, not a prison.
"You," Bucky growled, his voice filled with fury as he held Lucas’s lifeless body. "It was you."
Isaac’s lips curled into a cold smile. He bowed his head slightly, a mockery of respect. "From now on, I serve you, Your Highness."
"You fucking traitor!" Bucky’s voice was a roar of pain and anger. He wanted nothing more than to rip Isaac apart, to make him pay for everything he had done.
"Oh, what a good job youdid on your first day." A cold, authoritative voice cut through the tension.
Bucky looked up to see King Leonard, his presence commanding the room. The king walked in, seemingly oblivious to the blood-stained scene before him, as if Lucas's dying body was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.
Isaac straightened up and greeted the king with a formal nod. "It’s my duty, sir."
King Leonard smiled, his gaze shifting to Bucky, who was still cradling Lucas’s lifeless form. "Let me introduce you to the new head of the castle guard, Isaac."
Bucky’s anger simmered just below the surface, his hands clenched into fists. Isaac, the man who had betrayed them all, was now standing here with the king’s blessing. This was no longer just a political game—this was personal.
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Author Note: If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee on : Ko-fi 🙏🏻please, please please.
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Almost four hundred years
Pairing: Agatha Harkness x sister reader
Genre: fluff
Words: 900
Note: So I usually don't introduce new characters on a whim but I've been so obsessed I literally jumped out of the shower for this, so I just had to write it right away even when it's not that good. And to my possibly new Marvel/witchy/Agatha fans who haven't seen me before, hi, I hope you like this and please check out my blog for more very demure, very cutesy and most of all very lesbian fanfictions I write.
When you got on the Witch’s road, you didn’t know exactly what you expected to get out of it. You weren’t hungry for power, you were doing alright for yourself and there were seemingly no problems to be fixed or mysteries to be answered in your case. But the thought of belonging somewhere some time again was taunting, almost mocking you. You knew building an actual lasting coven with Agatha by your side was impossible, but still you hoped to have something that at least reminded of home.
As you left today’s trial behind and healed the teen’s wounds, you set up a campfire gathering around, using whatever was available to sit on. In your opinion, the ground covered in leaves was good enough. The kid was resting and Agatha was nowhere to be found, which gave room for an actual friendly conversation with the rest of the witches. One by one they shared stories and funny encounters, keeping the mood up, and you quite enjoyed their quirky company.
“Y/n, what’s your problem with the kid?” Lilia asked suddenly, all of them noticing you weren’t exactly fond of his chirpy personality. “Why are you so cold to him?”
“Nonsense, I’m great with children,” you emphasized, slightly offended.
“Come on now,” Jen forced with an amused smile.
“Well first of all, he’s unhealthily obsessed with Agatha and that in itself is a red flag if you ask me,” you shrugged. “And anyone who likes her this much just doesn’t know her enough.”
“Well for how long have you known her?” Alice reiterated.
“Almost four hundred years,” you admitted with a bit of shyness.
“How come?” asked Teen joining you at the fire without you noticing. “What’s your problem with her anyway. People change, she’s not the same witch she was in Salem.”
“Not this much, no. She killed my mom… my family, my coven, everyone I knew at the time,” even after all this time it was hard admitting everything that happened, partly because you blamed yourself for at least half of it. “And unfortunately, she’s my sister.”
“Wait so you’re… Y/n Harkness?” Alice questioned.
“Yeah,” sometimes that name scared even you yourself. “And believe me there isn’t a day I didn’t wish I was there back then to stop her. But at the same time… she’s my sister, you know? And she wasn’t always bad… she was a good witch, corrupted by her powers too young,” you turned to Teen. “It’s like having an emo kid, you think it’s just a phase and fun and the next day they’re smoking pot and running around at 1 a.m. playing Batman.”
“You think dark magic is just a phase?” Jen laughs.
“Well who hasn’t ever tried a bit of it, right?” you brush it off with a guilty smile.
“Wow you’re acting like I’m the only one wicked here. I clearly remember you set your ex-boyfriend’s car on fire… with him in it,” Agatha snaps back as she joins your circle.
“Hey, that was your idea! And I was only a 100, you led me to it,” at your response she snorts and gets up again to rather get a walk.
With a sigh you get up off the ground to follow her this time, which wasn’t any hard of a task. Your relationship with Agatha was complicated at the very least, but to you, she was still the only family you had left, even if it was her fault. Gently brushing her clearly tired shoulder she refuses to look at you.
“Agatha… I know I haven’t always been the nicest to you, but you’re my family, I love you. And I want you to know I will always stand by your side, even if I don’t agree with you,” after all you would be a little lost in this world without her.
Giving into your comforting words she turns around embracing you in a tight hug. It was hard being mad at you, after all she was the one who always caused the problems in your relationship. No matter how much you wanted to talk sense into her, she was always selfish and short sighted. As she hugged you, she felt herself finally catching the first break in at least the last five years. You could feel all the trauma and exhaustion from the past few days getting just the littlest bit lighter when you shared it together.
“I miss him so much,” she admitted into your shoulder.
“I know. I miss him too,” you assure her, her lost son clearly being a constant on her mind lately.
“I don’t know if I can save him,” Agatha whispered with vulnerability you didn’t see often.
You thought of something comforting to say. „I know you will try everything you can to get him back,” you kissed her cheek lightly.
Holding onto her, you didn’t feel completely lost in the wide world, and you realized no matter how bad she screwed up, you’ll always be her light, just like she was your torch, hurtful when held too close for too long but helpful, warm and comforting at the same time. You didn’t know if there was any chance her son was still somewhere at least a little alive, but you knew that if there was one parent in the world who would move mountains and rivers to find their child, it was Agatha.
#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#agatha all along#agatha harkness fluff#agatha harkness x you#kathryn hahn#fanfiction#fanfic#agatha#agatha all along fanfic#agatha all along spoilers#kathryn hahn x reader#kathryn hahn fanfiction#kathryn hahn x you#agatha harkness x sister#marvel#marvel fanfiction
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Because I'm the Weakest II: The Women Who Never Won
Pairings/character dynamics: Satosugu, Shoko and reader, Nanami and reader, implied shoko x utahime
Contains and warnings: DARK FIC/DEAD DOVE fem!reader, Suicidal ideation, rape aftermath, referenced rape (not written out in this chap), depression, alcohol abuse, misogyny & sexism, internalized sexism, sexual harassment on minors done by minors, victim blaming (thoughts), self harm, angst, hurt & comfort, I call noncon with the official word for it
Word count: ~9,6k
Summary: There's certain desperation when you try to keep your head above water. You were drowning and all you wanted to do was to forget, the weight on your shoulders unbearable. Despite the cards you were dealt with you found yourself among allies as the web of untold memories started to unfold.
A/N: Hey! Yall waited long for this, sorry about that. I have no idea how to tag this but I'll just do it somehow, bc this is a tricky chapter. Here yall get to dive deeper in the stuff that has gone down before the events that took place in 1st chap and get a hug from Shoko. This is hopefully the last installment of this. Read the tags carefully as always and make informed decisions based on that and take care of yourself. Shit can get heavy, but I'm trying to do this in good taste.
Read on ao3 part I
Shoko Ieiri had worked a long time with people who suffered. She had seen it all, limbs cut off, even the toughest of sorcerers reduced to crying messes as they practically had their innards falling to the floor. There’s something utterly horrifying watching a patient, no – a friend scream in pain when even her skills were not enough. Funerals came and went, the white sheet thrown over the deceased on the operation table in the same routine way she’d change her linens. Nothing really shocked her.
That’s what she liked to think.
Your visits have been more frequent. It started with bruises and sprained ankles. Then it was broken bones that soon turned to puncture wounds, your clothes sticky with deep red and dirt. When she asked about it, you laughed it off saying it’s nothing, just a silly little mishap, “I was too reckless in the heat of the moment.” But your eyes were empty, your words hollow like a dead tree. Of course Shoko did her job, without asking too much. You’re an adult and you’ll speak about it if you want to, right? Her job was to keep you alive. Your job was to exorcise curses.
Shoko and you had been close too, hanging out with the two men, but at some point in high school she had withdrawn from the group. Gojo and Geto had tried to keep in touch with her in adulthood, inviting her as well to spend time together as the four of them, but she had always declined, smoothly changing their relationship to acquaintances at best. She heard enough of the despicable men from you. The only times she was in direct contact with Gojo and Geto was work related and god how she hoped that it would stay that way. She’ll play that pretend game almost happily.
Shoko closed the office door the day turning to evening, sundown coloring the city in hues of orange and yellow. She held onto her little black purse, thankfully it was friday. A man stood on the long corridor, standing upright as if he did not belong here. He looked indifferent, almost bored.
“Nanami.”
“Ieiri.”
They greeted each other with a curt nod.
“So what brings you here? You seem healthy enough,” Shoko asked as they walked to the open parking lot, only a few cars in sight. The warm summer sun caressed her cheeks, wind making her long hair flow in waves.
“I think she’s going through something,” Nanami stated as a matter of fact talking about you. He and you had gone on missions together, but something about you wasn’t right. He had seen the way you clutch your weapon, throw yourself at the enemy recklessly almost as if you had a death wish. It’s like you waited for your end.
“No shit.” Shoko chuckled amused. It was as clear as a day if you just had eyes on yourself. “Why do you care?”
“I’ve seen enough people spiral to know where it leads. You’re a healer, can’t you help?” His voice was thoughtful, not betraying a hint of emotions.
“I can’t help a person who doesn’t want it,” Shoko said. “But I’ll try to figure something out.”
“And that is enough. Thank you.”
***
You hated meetings and rarely took part in them if you could avoid them. You had not met Gojo or Geto after the unfortunate night. If there were some work related things where there was a possibility to meet either of the men, you requested to be part of them remotely or that someone would just forward the key points. But after doing this for a few months Yaga had sent you a passive-aggressive email writing that it is absolutely mandatory for you to show yourself at least once in a while. You didn’t bother to answer him with anything other than a polite see you there.
Honestly you were tired. Your whole body ached in overexertion. Sleep escaped from you, ran a marathon around the block never stopping at your house, and every time you seemed to catch a break, hazy images you rather forbid being real filled your vision. Your eyebags told a story of exhaustion, your body shrinking in every possible way away. You went to see a doctor, not Shoko, just some normal practitioner from the private sector that you ended up paying yourself sick for.
The doctor gave you pills to help you with sleep. He asked you if you were stressed or going through some sorts of crisis. You answered with a diligent no and explained that you’ve always had issues with sleep, but you were otherwise okay. He looked at you, raising his eyebrow in suspicion, the glasses on his head hung on his nose by a thread. He decided to believe you as he wrote the prescription, but insisted you took home pamphlets about depression and crisis hotlines.
You tried the pills. You did fall asleep, but only after a panic attack wrecked through your body as the effect of the medication forced you into a deep slumber. The pills made you feel your pulse in your whole body. “It’s a quite strong product, previously used to treat psychosis, but nowadays it’s for patients with severe insomnia. Take it one hour before sleep. The effect might be really sudden.”
When you woke up you decided to throw them away. It’s better to not to sleep if it meant that you’d go free from the horrors of the night you had experienced.
The huge meeting table sprawled out horizontally and was able to sit around fifteen people in it. It had several small electric outlets for computers and tablets. Light poured in from the big windows, the blinds only halfway done. You stared at the weird scribbling on the white board that Principal Yaga was wiping furiously, muttering things about how students shouldn’t be let in this room under any circumstance since they can’t differentiate which markers are okay to use on it.
You exchanged pleasantries with him. The room was devoid of people since you were too early. You swung your leather bag on the back of the upholstered office chair and sat yourself down.
Shoko walked in and her face lit up a little bit when she saw you sitting there. It was subtle, you thought that you were maybe the only one who could differentiate that expression from her. She sat next to you, a faint hint of neroli wrapping you to its calming aroma.
Next came Meimei and then Utahime who came running to you two giving a happy hug to Shoko. They were so cute together, you thought to yourself as you fidgeted with your slightly too big shoes, constantly removing them and pushing them back to your feet. People don’t usually like small talk, but nonetheless the group chatted with each other. They had to, because it’s polite and you were coworkers. You thought that small talk was easy. The script of it was burnt to your brains for the rest of your life. You get to keep people at an arm's length and keep up appearances, so what’s there not to like?
A familiar blonde man stood in the doorway. You checked your phone for the time. Only five minutes before the official start. Yuki also appeared after Nanami.
“Hello,” he said and nodded at you as he sat himself next to you. Your whole body stiffened around him. It was hard to look him in the eyes and even harder to work missions with.
It was ten minutes past the official time when the meeting was supposed to start.
“Sorry we are late.” Two men marched in the room with confident strides and took their place in front of you facing you, that was sitting in between Nanami and Shoko, Utahime next to the doctor. Suguru sat down next to Yuki leaving a space for Satoru who had Meimei next to him.
Hearing Suguru’s voice made your skin crawl.
“It’s fine,” Yaga said and looked over his shoulder to look at the white screen he had pulled down earlier with only a blue screen reflecting on the fabric. “I can’t seem to get this work anyway,” he mumbled.
“Do you need help?” Suguru walked over to the man struggling over his laptop. “Have you checked the HDMI-cable?”
“Of course I have, I just don’t understand why it won't work. We have Ijichi remote today,” he muttered partially to himself.
“Let me.”
You sat fidgeting on your chair focusing on everything else than the two men and their presence that suffocated you. If you were a candle they’d be snuffing you out but not properly, no, that would be too kind. They’d always let enough air in so that you’d never be completely put out.
“Hello to you girls.. and Nanami,” Satoru flashed a playful grin at the four of you. Your head jerked involuntarily to look at the man. Thank god he has a habit of covering his eyes, but somehow that made him even worse.
“Hello. How are you?” Nanami nodded politely.
“I’m well. Hopefully the work isn’t stressing you out too much.” Satoru’s smile widened.
“Speaking of work, I’ve heard that you and her have started doing missions together,” Satoru nudged his head towards you as he spoke directly to Nanami. “I actually green lighted the idea of sorcerers working more together. It’s good to practice teamwork and I put in good words for the two of you, since you compliment each other with the techniques you have. ” Satoru moved his head to look your way as he drew out his words in a way that you’d be sure to catch the dual meaning.
The wall flashed a few times showing the computer screen and it’s default wallpaper for only a moment and after that went back to blue.
“An idea that I actually can get behind,” Nanami said agreeably.
Your eye twitched.
“Really? That was your doing?” You barely hid the anger of your voice. One more push and you’d pour your life savings on an amoral hitman, not that you’d believe that anyone could finish him off. It was a thought just for you so you could at least think about being mean in your own petty way.
“Not a fan of working in groups of two? How about in groups of three?”
“You fucking piece of-”
“Okay I think it’s working now,” Yaga put his hands together straightening himself properly. Suguru walked over to Satoru, slightly shaking his head before he sat down. You heard Utahime’s quiet “okayy..” whispered in the awkward silence.
“Unfortunately principal Gakuganji wasn’t able to make it today, he’s sick or something.”
You heard Gojo scoff audibly.
“Try to respect him.” Yaga shot a glare in the young teacher’s way.
“Ijichi and Nitta have gathered data about the hotspots of cursed activity,” he continued and opened up the window to teams only to be greeted by a tired looking black haired man in a suit. The background behind him was red, it looked like some type of wallpaper and small paintings covered the walls. You reckoned it was a hotel room. Or a motel, you really could not tell.
“Ijichi, do you hear me? Would you like to take over?” Yaga’s voice boomed louder as if he wasn’t already near his computer.
The grainy picture of the tired man smiling uncomfortably stayed still a little too long to be taken as a real time reaction to Yaga’s question.
“I hear you. Sorry, the connection here is a bit bad.” Ijichi’s voice echoed in the office room. The picture of a slideshow appeared on the wall, making Ijichi’s face smaller.
The map of Tokyo loomed on the wall as everyone stared at it intensely, more or less dozing off. Some parts of it had big red circles on them and Ijichi explained the way these places were having exceptionally heavy activity. He reckoned that partially the rise in activity tied to the sorcerers working more missions together leaving less people available. Ijichi also showed statistics comparing the effectiveness of sorcerers based in Tokyo and Kyoto.
You were about to lose your mind, your body still pumping adrenaline after the conversation with Gojo. Everyone else seemed to be bored, oblivious to your struggle. Satoru had yawned at least three times in the last ten minutes, Shoko and Utahime were both interested in their nails. Even Suguru looked tired and he was pretty good at hiding his thoughts. The only ones who did not look outwardly dead inside were Yaga and Nanami.
“Thank you Ijichi for your hard work,” Yaga said and Ijichi nodded smiling. The pop up of the slideshow vanished from the screen leaving Ijichi’s face in a huge resolution looming onto the wall.
“We are going to take in account the effects of pairing up sorcerers. I’m not entirely in charge of how long this trial will take,” Yaga said. “Ieiri has this trial affected the health care aspect in any way?”
Shoko cleared her throat tapping open the ipad in front of her, her nails making a satisfying click click sound.
“The injuries have lessened,” she started. That’s good, you thought. “But the severity has increased,” she said with a serious face.
“Why is that?” Principal scrunched his eyebrows together.
“In my professional opinion it is due to people being more brazen when having a partner. This can be seen especially in lower grade sorcerers, who are prone to believing that they are invincible when someone backs them up.” Everyone had turned to look at the doctor who played with her hair idly as she spoke.
“And the second grade and up?”
“It happens less. But there are some, even first grade sorcerers, who are accident prone,” Shoko said and quickly looked at you, not long enough for others to pick up on that she was speaking about you.
Gojo’s phone rang in the middle of the conference. He left the room with an apology and never came back. Relief and anger ignited in you playing tug of war in your heart as your eyes followed him bitterly.
“I think this is all. I’ll send everyone the upcoming jobs, but if no one has anything to say, I think we can conclude this meeting here,” Yaga said, the choir of thank yous and goodbyes filling the room.
You stretched yourself, happy to be on your feet again.
“Hey, can we talk?” Nanami tried to get your attention.
You stood in the room that was quickly emptying out of people. Shoko awkwardly hung around in a small distance from you and Nanami, trying to pretend that she wasn’t listening to your conversation.
“I don’t entirely understand the conversation between you and Gojo, but if I have somehow disrespected you I offer my deepest apologies.” Nanami’s voice was soft. Your heart ached as you realized how bad your words must have appeared to him.
“I’m so sorry. It’s not about you. You’ve done nothing..” You trailed off as you saw the tall curse eating man walk outside with a sly smile on his lips.
“That’s a relief but if I may be so blunt, I have a hunch that there is something bothering you,” Nanami said.
You looked at him and chewed your lower lip nervously. This was all their fault. If they had not done what they did, you would not be in this position. The least they could have done is to keep the names of people you know out of their mouths.
“I’m sorry to leave you hanging like this, but can we finish this conversation later?” You hurried past him, only hearing Nanami mumble the word ‘sure’ like a kicked puppy and you said goodbye to Shoko agreeing on staying in touch with her.
The corridor was almost empty as you walked through the school building frantically searching for that bastard of a man. Your footsteps echoed on the wood as you arrived at a not so well known exit of the building. Geto stood in front of the dual doors, half heartedly pushing it open as he furiously wrote something on his phone.
You yelled out his name, but he did not bother to react to you. You closed in on the man that was still standing back towards you. Anger surged in you as adrenaline made you braver than what you normally would be. You were supposed to just grab the ends of his hair that were sprawled across his back, but in the heat of the moment your impulse control had another lapse as you kept on raising your hand. A fist closed around the bun that had been carefully crafted on his scalp and you dug your fingers around the hair tie and then yanked, hard.
“What the hell are you doing?!” He turned around stepping out of the doorway letting it close properly with a thump and he closed the distance between you for good. His eyes shot daggers at you.
“You did not pay attention to me.” You shook your hand out of the spare strands that were stuck on your palm and offered the small hair tie back to him.
“Well you got it now,” he hissed. “You can keep that as a souvenir. I don’t want anything that a filthy bitch like you has touched,” he said, the calm composure nowhere in sight.
A filthy bitch? Really? Then maybe you should break up with Satoru if this is your deal breaker.. That’s what you wanted to say, but you held back your tongue.
Geto took a deep breath, calming himself down, slipping on the mask that you were more used to seeing. He put his phone back in his pocket.
“What do you want?”
“You told me,” you started, tears threatening to flow over. “You told me that I can just leave and do whatever I want. Why do you keep tormenting me? Why do you let Gojo do what he does?” Your voice broke as you started crying openly. You hated it, it made you weak. No. You were weak.
“Firstly, I’m not his guardian. He can do what he wants.” He sounded like a smartass.
“Second of all, never. And I repeat. Never, lay a hand on me ever again, especially on my hair.” You rolled your eyes.
Of course it was the hair that ticked him off completely. It was his crown, the only thing he had ever been able to take care of besides Satoru. Suguru loved to flaunt himself as the calm one, the kind one, but the exterior had always had some cracks in it. No amount of paint was able to hide the rotten wall behind it.
“I can forgive your outburst at Satoru’s, but now that you’re in your right mind, you won’t get second chances.”
“I don’t want ‘second chances’. I want you to leave me the fuck alone so I can do my job,” you yelled at him.
“Lower your voice. Or do you want to air out all the dirty laundry for everyone?” Geto hushed you.
“It’s not my ‘laundry’, it’s fucking yours!” You roared and tears fell down your cheeks blurring your vision. Your face felt hot as it got wrapped in the wrath of your words.
Geto did not answer you, instead he chose to stare you down, not moving at all as if he was a statue. He looked like a child throwing a tantrum when things did not go his way, his face contorting to a sneer that could challenge any rich spoiled brat. You panted and wiped your face with the rough backside of your palm.
“Move.”
“Ladies first,” he snickered childishly and kicked open the heavy door with his foot as he stepped slightly to the side. God this man hangs out too much with Gojo.
As you left the school grounds barely holding your breakdown away, there was one figure in the corridors hugging the wall near the exit, clutching onto her purse.
***
SHOKO’S MEMORIES, 2006
“Truth or dare?” Satoru asked, popping the pink bubblegum in the air, sucking the sticky material back in his mouth to chew on loudly.
“Truth,” Shoko said, placing another cigarette in her mouth. She smoked especially heavily when she was drinking.
Satoru had managed to bring a whole six pack of beer to the picnic whereas Suguru had found a travel size vodka bottle from his parents. Shoko had brought a package of different berries and salty crackers with her.
“If you could have any technique in the world, which one would you have?” Satoru asked. He looked at the clear blue sky and the way the summer breeze pushed on the white clouds.
Shoko played with the corner of the blanket as she thought deeply about his question. She stared at the shoes she had placed on the grass and the manicure on her toes that Utahime had insisted on putting on her.
“I think I’d keep this one,” she smiled wistfully.
“Really? You wouldn’t want my powers?” Satoru looked at her tilting his head to the side. He spat out the chewing gum and placed it on the plastic lid that belonged to the packaging of berries. He did not like it when things ran out of flavor, always searching for something more.
“No. I don’t envy you at all. I just want a happy life and that’s all” Shoko answered his gaze, with a gentle smile. “Besides, I like the way I am and I suppose I can help people like this,” she added.
Satoru hummed. He was clearly dissatisfied with the answer.
He did not exactly know why.
“Satoru, that's sad. You should ask something fun,” Suguru pointed out and took a sip from the beer can.
The three of them sat on a grassy hill that had a pretty decent view of the city and the park below it. Shoko leaned against the huge tree behind her back. The cicadas were performing their own concert with the hum of motorways working as their orchestra.
“You figure out better questions then,” Satoru pouted, but wasn’t actually hurt.
“Isn’t it my turn to ask though?”
Shoko looked in the distance watching closely how a woman jogged with her shiba inu, her ponytail swishing in the same rhythm as the chord of her headphones. Both men nodded slightly out of sync.
“Satoru truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Who’s the hottest person you know?” Her eyes twinkled teasingly.
“Waka Inoue of course. She’s sexy as hell!” Satoru slapped his hand on his heart as if he was saluting.
“Really? You still have a crush on her?” Suguru questioned. It was his turn to pout. “Am I not enough?”
“Baby you’re plenty, but you can’t replace a huge rack,” Satoru’s voice was steady as if he was talking about the most important thing in the whole world.
“I can’t argue with that.” Suguru sighed defeatedly, his shoulders slumping down dramatically.
“Ugh. I shouldn’t have asked that. Both of you are so weird and gross about women,” Shoko grimaced regretting her decisions and lifted the cigarette to her mouth as if to cover the bad taste of Satoru’s words.
The man in sunglasses ignored the criticizing words. “Suguru. Truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“I dare you to share this,” Satoru lifted up a huge strawberry. “Like in Lady and the Tramp with Shoko,” he referred to the scene where the two dogs shared a spaghetti meal, eventually kissing.
“That’s too small!” Shoko protested immediately, shaking her head. The idea of doing that with Suguru made her feel iffy.
“I’m game if she is,” Suguru said and offered his palm to Satoru who plopped the berry in his hands.
Shoko had a nervous giggle come out of her.
“C’mon, it’s just a game. You can always let go after like one bite. This is truth or dare afterall,” Satoru coaxed.
“Fine. But I won’t kiss you, not even a peck.” Shoko established her own rule and rolled her eyes. She put out the cigarette on the grass and left the butt there.
“We’ll see about that,” Suguru laughed and picked at the stem that got thrown over next to the chewed up gum.
He awkwardly came closer to the young female student and placed the bigger end between his lips. He looked silly, the red end peeking out of his mouth. Suguru attempted at mouthing the words ‘come closer’, but neither Satoru or Shoko understood his words but the context clue carried the point to Shoko.
She got on her knees sitting on top of her legs and straightened herself out. Suguru was way taller than her, even when he sat. Her face approached Suguru’s who had a pink tint on his cheeks from the alcohol he had drank.
She opened her mouth and barely bit down on the smaller end, her tongue touching the bumpy texture of the strawberry.
“Ready. Set. Go!” Satoru exclaimed, motioning finger guns happily. His gaze was completely glued on his two friends.
Suguru closed his eyes and he started to carefully nibble, closing dangerously on Shoko’s lips. She bit quickly, not really tasting anything and began to pull away in hopes of Suguru calling it quits too.
Unfortunately she wasn’t fast enough. The last bits of strawberry fell down on Shoko’s lap when Suguru pressed his lips against hers, a faint red trail dripping on her chin. She didn’t move and her eyes widened in shock. Shoko didn’t know what to do so she just held her hands on her lap.
Suguru pet gently behind the girl’s head kissing her motionless lips. His hand trailed down to her neck and all the way to her shoulder. Shoko felt the sweet taste in her mouth mixing with the alcohol, stranger’s saliva and nicotine as Suguru dragged his hand to the mound of her breast. The warmth emanating from his palm was enough to bring her back to reality and Shoko pushed the bigger guy off of her.
“Why did you do that?” she snapped and crossed her arms.
“Oh don’t get angry now. Have a drink and chill out.” Satoru sighed. He shuffled awkwardly and placed the almost empty tote bag on his lap and grabbed a new beer can from there. Shoko narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but did not want to make room for any weird thoughts that would imply even weirder things. “It’s just a joke.”
“This is not the first time you take jokes too far.”
Shoko looked away from the two boys, disappointment turning into an ache in her heart and wiped her chin clean from the strawberry. She slipped on the ballerinas laying on the ground.
“Seriously? You’re leaving because of this?” Suguru tilted his head, his voice defensive.
Shoko threw her cigarettes and lighter in her own purse checking the blanket for other stuff she had.
“Yeah, I am. I’m not having fun anymore.” Her voice was cold as she was attempting to hide the nervous tremble in her body and almost jumped up throwing the bag on her shoulder. She turned around, once again crossing her hands against her chest as if to protect herself and started walking.
“Hey! Don’t you want your blanket with you?” Satoru yelled after her. The two guys sat on the quilt completely bamboozled.
“Keep it! I don’t need it!”
She didn’t eat strawberries for the rest of the summer.
***
“Hey you really should sing this one!” Shoko laughed as she scrolled through the song list.
“Whaat? No that’s not even funny,” you laughed and slapped her arm gently.
“Is it really not? Or are you just a bore?” Shoko taunted getting ready to put the song on.
“Can we sing something from this?” You pointed at the category called 2000’s hits.
“I’ll pick something at random and you’re just going to deal with it,” Shoko laughed clearly tipsy too after the multiple drinks you both had drank.
The disco ball was spinning around the small room painting the walls in hues of blue, red and green. Nanami sat on the couch nursing his whiskey as he stared off into space. The upbeat music filled the room, bass shaking the ground underneath your feet.
It was the first time going out after the events at Gojo’s house. Shoko had basically begged you to come with her to get shit faced complaining that she really needed someone to rant with. You told her that Utahime was right there and would probably love to listen to her, but she claimed that the woman from Kyoto had other plans for the weekend.
After arriving at the karaoke bar you had been taken back after seeing the stoic blonde man at the venue. You weighed the option of immediately leaving in your head, but your conscience did not allow you to do so, after leaving him so rudely hanging in the meeting. When the three of you had gotten your own private room you decided to immediately order shots and drinks with the only goal of getting absolutely black out drunk tonight despite having Nanami there.
It was honestly rare to see him after work as he had preferred to keep his distance. He was wearing the same clothing he always wore, dress shirt ironed, necktie perfectly hanging against his chest as if he was on the clock. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he were to whip out a cursed tool onto the bar table.
You clutched onto the microphone singing unevenly as you danced to the beat, half of the syllables disappearing to you being out of breath. Shoko cackled, almost folding over as she kept slapping her thigh eyes watering. She had drunk a few drinks less than you and she had been exceptionally happy even before drinking. Truthfully Shoko was quite a heavy drinker and she definitely should not have been as wasted as what she appeared to be.
Nanami stared at the both of you, raising the whiskey glass to his lips after checking his wrist watch.
“Come here! Sing with us!” You yelled to the mic only getting a slightly alarmed expression out of him as he shook his head.
“I think I’m okay with watching you two perform,” he said.
You pouted but kept on singing, your concentration skills nonexistent. You did not notice the way Shoko glared at him, nudging her head towards you as she pointed the microphone in her hand towards him.
Nanami cleared his throat under the threatening gaze and clumsily got up.
“Oh my god! Nanamiii!” You screamed the noise so high pitched that even the speakers were unable to handle it and you could see how Nanami cringed at the sound.
Shoko squinted her eyes and mouthed the word sing to Nanami. Shoko was not going to deal with you alone.
The combination of the pop song and Nanami’s voice made you giggle as you hurrayed him happily. He was not a bad singer by any means, but his voice did not fit the song choice. You wondered to yourself, why had you not gotten shitfaced earlier when you had all the good reasons to.
Shoko decided to take a small break sitting on the spot where Nanami had been earlier and inspected the brown liquid swishing in the glass. She stole a sip from it when Nanami wasn’t watching, not really caring about the fact that it wasn’t her drink.
You grabbed your drink from the table and drank from it and you kept on singing happily, almost jumping around. Nanami looked at you with a terrified expression when you moved side to side with the drink spilling on your hand, but you did not notice the wetness of it.
“Hey, put that down before you drop the glass,” Nanami said and gently tried to take the glass from you.
“No, I want to keep this,” a pout formed on your face but you still did what he told and turned around swiftly to place the drink on the counter. Your vision was blurry, the lights slightly too bright and you lost your balance tipping over the glass that was already safely on the table. You felt yourself starting to fall but a strong arm snaked around your waist to stabilize you.
The world felt like it was stopping when the arm around you changed into a tight rope that pressed around your ribcage. The karaoke room changed inch by inch to a vast room with a wall made of windows with a night view of the streets of Tokyo. The shattered drink turned into a broken light bulb on the floor. You felt a hot breath on your skin, but your body had gotten cold. It was as if you had been dunked into ice water, all the earlier excitement completely vanished. The disco ball spun around casting blue lights on the white haired man’s face that ogled you like a piece of meat. The imagery was so vivid and real in your mind that you reacted on instinct, elbowing the man behind you.
The rope vanished around you as the windows melted to the concrete floor, the shadows of city lights turned back to the tacky illumination of the disco ball. You felt the remnants of cursed energy fizzing out like a soda can as your eyes landed on Nanami, who was slightly hunched over holding onto his side the pain making him grimace. You had no idea how much force you had actually used, but probably quite a lot judging by the way Nanami was reacting.
Shoko stood there completely still, eyes filled to the brim with worry and confusion. Her lips were ajar and she gulped down wanting to say something, but she did not know what.
“My apologies. I didn't mean to touch you inappropriately,” Nanami managed to say. The music track played in the background, but it felt empty without a drunken voice guiding it. He was lucky to have good reflexes, instinctually protecting himself from the blow, otherwise Shoko would have had a patient off the clock.
“Uh,” Your mouth gaped at him hopelessly. He had done nothing wrong.
“I’ll go for a cigarette,” you blurted out and left the room hurriedly. The long hallway stretched in front of your eyes as you looked at the numbers on karaoke booths, only muted colors flashing through the slightly translucent doors. You leaned on the wall as you dragged your feet forward arriving at the front desk that thanked you for your time, but you did not pay attention to them and turned to your left to stare at the steep stairway.
The steps were made out of wood with a black paint that had started to chip away and the walls were pure red, too bright and intense for your eyes. You focused on the door in front of you and barely saw the red walls around it as they got covered by a dark cloud, your way of seeing more animalistic than human.The only thing in your mind was the need to get some fresh air as emotions threw you around like a shipwreck at the sea.
You pushed the door open and walked over to a bicycle stand choosing an empty spot where you plopped yourself on. You rocked yourself back and forth as you cried and gripped onto your skin painfully hoping that at least the physical sensation would put an end to your suffering. You started to be more aware of the familiar banging against your skull.
The door of the karaoke bar opened as Shoko walked outside, her face now serious, resembling more the woman she was at work than the friend giggling at drunk people's jokes.
“Hey. You forgot this inside.” She handed you your bag.
You wanted to answer something but you could not as the words got stuck to your throat. Your world flashed back and forth between sensations that you weren’t supposed to feel in this moment. The guilt and sadness ate you alive, nipping away from your vitals the more you tried to push them down.
Shoko placed a cigarette between her lips and lit it up and offered it to you. You took it gladly off her hands inhaling the sweet smoke, but you almost ended up suffocating on it as your nose was too stuffed to handle it. Even the menthol taste was unable to help you with this issue. Shoko opened the green box once more to get herself a smoke as well.
She took a drag out of it and watched your shuddering figure.
“I saw you in the hallway with Geto. Something happened at Gojo’s right?”
You lifted your head up mascara running on your cheeks. Had you not been in such a bad state her words would have shocked you.
“I can’t help you if you don’t want my help.” Shoko crouched down to your level. You stared at her face as she left out a puff of smoke that trailed around her face, the dark eye bags now more visible than ever.
You choked on your tears once more, now openly wailing on the pavement your fingers digging into the soft flesh of your arm. You dragged your nails across yourself leaving pink trails behind it, the soft tingle covering the areas you had just clawed at.
“I can’t do this anymore,” you cried, your words hard to decipher as your breath hitched. “I can’t keep on doing this. It’s all my fault. I’m so stupid,” you screamed snot falling onto your shirt.
“So fucking stupid!” You impulsively pressed the cigarette butt against your thigh melting the cloth away the stinging pain shocking you as your skin shed its layers against the fire.
You had no shame in your breakdown, frankly you did not even recognize the others that looked in your way speaking with hushed voices around you, as they tightened the grip on their partners hands. “That girl really needs to lay off the drinks,” someone had said loudly. Shoko had wanted to immediately pounce, but she held herself together. She knew that you needed her more.
“Don’t hurt yourself, when you want to hurt someone else,” her voice was just a whisper. “Can I touch you?” She asked not wanting to trigger you further. You nodded.
Shoko pulled you into a tight hug and you buried your face on her chest, holding onto her like it was the last thing keeping you afloat. You seeked comfort in her presence.
“I want to die.” You gripped onto her tighter. “I’m so weak.”
Shoko stroked your hair, her own eyes watering as she listened to you wordlessly. She felt your pain almost just as viscerally as you were experiencing them now.
“No matter… no matter what I do. I can’t escape them. I just want to be gone. I want to-”
Shoko shushed you and slipped her free hand into her pocket, digging out her phone. Almost ten minutes had gone by. She awkwardly opened her chat with Nanami trying to inform the man who was probably still sitting in their booth waiting for the two of you to come back.
A male voice disturbed the two of you. “Is everything okay?”
Shoko pressed her hand on your shoulder pushing herself up from the ground, she whispered to you to stay put, not that you really were in any condition to go anywhere.
“Good that you’re here. I was just about to text you. Can you get us a taxi?”
“Of course,” he said and opened the app punching in your address that Shoko forwarded to him. He looked so much older and out of place in the busy street.
This was the kind hearted and lovely Nanami that had forgiven you immediately, after you had punched him in the gut because you were fucked up in the head. The kind hearted and lovely Nanami that you couldn’t look in the eyes, because of a certain man whose name you felt like acid on the tip of your tongue. The thoughts in your head brought fresh tears to your eyes. You dangerously sailed in the deep waters of suicidal ideation, your tired hands opening the forbidden door.
“It’s going to arrive in five minutes,” Nanami hummed.
“I think you should go. I’ll handle this,” Shoko said, her voice full of pity. “I’ll keep you posted.”
Nanami nodded in agreement.
“For what it’s worth, take care of yourself too.” Nanami’s words were carefully chosen, anticipating that you weren’t the only one who needed a hug.
***
SHOKO’S MEMORIES, YEAR 2006
The beach was filled with people who enjoyed the way the sun spoiled them with its warmth. Shoko was sitting on a towel next to Mei Mei who applied generous amounts of sunscreen on her hand. They sat underneath a parasol that had been propped in the sand, covering them both from the direct sun. The brown haired girl watched as Utahime excitedly threw herself to the water. She had given up on trying to get Shoko and Mei Mei in the water as well.
“Mei Mei, don’t you have a lot of experience with boys?” Shoko almost whispered and hugged her legs. Her beach shawl swayed when the breeze decided to start playing with the huge piece of cloth.
“Are you trying to imply something?” Her voice was low and melodic but not at all accusatory.
“No, nothing like that. I just wanted to ask you something.” Shoko shook her head flustered. “Is it normal for a guy to kiss a girl without asking?”
Mei Mei burst into laughter. This was the question Shoko was getting all worked up for?
“Shoko,” Mei Mei’s eyes glimmered softly when she said the younger girl’s name with gentleness that reminded her of a mother tugging a child into bed. “I did not take you for being this innocent,” she teased.
“I’m not innocent,” the brown haired girl huffed with the unexpected blush decorating her cheeks.
“Did someone do that to you?” Mei Mei tilted her head curiously and offered the sunscreen bottle to Shoko who happily took it to her hands.
“If I tell you, will you promise that you won’t tell anyone?”
“If I’m honest, I don’t think I care enough to tattle. You got me curious now. Tell me,” she hummed as a smile curled on her lips.
“Well uh.. Suguru kind of kissed me when we were playing truth or dare with Satoru,” Shoko explained . She ran her hand between the warm sand, the grainy texture giving her something else to think about. “It was a stupid dare on Satoru’s part. Dunno why I accepted it.”
Shoko added that she did not want to kiss him under any circumstances but the boy had managed to go over her boundary with ease.
“That’s it?” Mei Mei asked, raising her eyebrow. She was almost bewildered at how tame the story was.
“Yeah.”
The blue haired woman scoffed.
“Guys think that girls like it when they take control and in a certain sense they are right. Maybe they got their eyes on you? Although, I did think that Suguru and Satoru were..” Mei Mei’s voice trailed off as she thought. “It doesn’t matter.” She concluded.
“If I were you. I’d go along with it.” Mei Mei suggested.
“No way. I don’t like them like that. Besides that’s not what I asked for your opinion on.”
“And?” Mei Mei turned her gaze on Shoko, her eyes hardening as she intensely stared at the younger girl. “Those two men are our generation’s strongest and you’re going to complain that one of them gave you a little kiss?”
Mei Mei’s melodic voice dropped lower as she showed her true feelings of distaste towards Shoko’s views.
“If I were you,” she started again, her voice tough and bitter. “I’d be securing my spot by their side and not planning to bring forth meaningless accusations over a game of truth or dare.”
Shoko was at loss with the things that were being said to her. Now that she thought about it, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to speak with Mei Mei.
“I did not say I was going to tell anyone,” her voice was squeaky like a little girl’s.
“But you thought about that right?” Shoko did not deny nor confirm the accusation.
Mei Mei’s face softened. “Shoko, you’re a smart girl. You should know better than to get shaken by two boys, especially when you so eagerly lead them on.“
“..I don’t lead them on.”
“Then stop meeting them in your spare time. If you do that, guys will think that you’re willing. You’re not a kid anymore, they do notice that you’re a woman now.”
She stayed quiet, Mei Mei’s words burning on her skin worse than the summer heat. She did not want guys thinking about her that way. She simply wanted to be their friend and the idea of boys and girls being unable to do that because of bodily differences made Shoko shudder.
“You want to help your friends, right?” Mei Mei asked when Utahime got out of the water.
Shoko nodded.
“Then become a doctor. That’s the best you can do to others with the technique you have.” Her words were probably meant to be comforting, but they made Shoko’s heart sink to the bottom of the ocean.
“Shookoo!” Utahime ran towards the two girls sitting on the beach towels.
“Are you willing to swim now?” Sand and water droplets clung onto her radiant skin that the younger girl admired silently. Shoko felt her heart skip a few times in her chest when Utahime offered her hand to her.
“Sure.” The shy smile stretched on Shoko’s lips.
“I’ll stay here. But you guys have fun.” Mei Mei announced as she opened the book next to her the pages slightly crumpled up.
Shoko did not really register Mei Mei’s voice anymore. She grabbed Utahime’s hand and the world slowly faded away around them.
****
Shoko went through the bathroom nimbly avoiding piles of clothing or takeout bags as she looked through your bathroom cupboard. She found a bag of half used cotton pads and a micelar water from the mess.
The taxi drive had felt like eternity. Your tears had dried before settling in the car and numbness had taken over. Shoko helped you to your bed and said that she’d come back soon, closing the door behind her giving you some space to change into something more comfortable.
The door opened. Shoko looked at you and sat on the bed. You were using a pillow as a support for your back. The night lamp’s warm color casted shadows around your puffy face. The woman shook the bottle in her hand and poured liquid on the white cotton pad and tilted your face towards hers.
She pressed the pad on your eyelid carefully letting the mixture soak through the heaps of makeup on your face. You sniffled sadly before speaking.
“I can do this on my own too.”
“I want to do this,” her voice was soft as she spoke the makeup remover leaving your skin slightly cold. You simply nodded and admired the way her hair framed her face.
“You know I’ve had my own bad experiences too,” Shoko said, her face turning to a slight frown. Her mind was sailing in memories that she had given up on trying to understand.
You were at a loss of words. You wanted to pry, but it felt invasive.
“With them? Really?” You heard yourself asking as you danced on the line of impropriety.
“Yeah,” Shoko hummed, “but we shouldn’t have this conversation yet. Maybe in the morning, but not now,” she tried to make her voice sound brighter, feel brighter as if it would fix everything.
“Okay,” you said. Maybe she’s right about this. Shoko discarded the dirty cotton pad, simply placing it on the bedside table. It was at its limits the whole thing turned into the color of your foundation with the small black streaks of your mascara on it, or what was left from it.
She held onto your face gently for a moment too long even after she was done. You opened your eyes to really look at her. She looked so sad and.. young? Yes young was the right word. She looked like a woman robbed out of something sacred. She had been so happy, so easy to excite in her youth, but now all she seemed to carry was baggage.
Your drunken mind wanted to close the distance, but something held you back. Maybe it was all the answers that were still being withheld by her, maybe it was the understanding that it’s not the right time yet.
“Can you stay the night?” you whispered. Shoko breathed in and opened her mouth to say something, but you were faster. “Please? Th-there’s some clothes you can borrow in my closet.”
She stayed quiet and you waited patiently.
“I’ll stay.”
You smiled weakly at her and muttered a gentle thank you. She shuffled up from the bed and walked over the closet you had pointed for her. You turned your back to her when you heard the rustling of clothing that she ended up piling up neatly on one of the spare chairs in your bedroom.
You fluffed up the pillow next to you and lifted up the blanket when she climbed in. You turned your back to her as you lay down on your side. Your hand searched the light switch and then the room was pitch black.
Shoko awkwardly came closer to you till your back was against hers and she played with your hair idly in the silence. The touch was friendly, your body slumping in relaxation almost immediately. It was nice to have someone there. You had gotten so used to being afraid of the nights.
“Good night,” she said, her voice hoarse.
“Night.”
***
You woke up alone with no trace of the woman in your room. She had gotten up earlier than you and dressed up back to the clothes she had in the bar. You hugged your plush blanket, almost burying your whole face underneath it, not ready to face the day.
Your head hurt and you felt nauseous. How is Shoko even able to do things? You wondered to yourself.
The faint knock on the bedroom door disrupted your thoughts as the door opened slightly.
“I made a sandwich for you and found some painkillers, if you want any,” she said and you heard her steps further away again.
You groaned and threw the blanket away from your body, the cold greeting you roughly.
Your kitchen had gotten miraculously cleaner, the multiple empty beer cans piled in a bag and the dishwasher hummed quietly. You stared at the brown table in front of you that had two sandwiches and glasses of water on it, hunger long gone from your body.
“You really should drink less.” Shoko picked up another empty can from the counter just to place it in the bag.
“Like you’re the one to talk.” You sat on the chair with its legs squeaking against the floor with your rough treatment.
You grabbed the pill bottle and rattled out two tablets that you threw in your mouth and drank barely enough water to chase them down.
“What do you remember?” Shoko asked and sat in front of you. She wasn’t feeling very hungry either.
“I remember punching Nanami and the talk we had before we fell asleep,” you mumbled, playing with the edges of the slightly crusty lettuce between your sandwich. You had meant to use it on a salad a few days ago, but you were too tired to cook for yourself. Even the simple things were hard. “What did I tell you?”
“Nothing. You were just crying.”
Oh. So it was like that.
“They assaulted me.” Your face was stern, emotions hidden behind a wall. The words felt weird. It was the first time you had actually said it out loud.
Shoko’s face widened from shock.
“They what?”
“Don’t make me repeat it,” you hissed.
“Sorry, I won’t.”
The silence felt unbearable and you stuffed your face full of bread just to do something.
“They did something similar when we were still in school.” Shoko ripped the hangnail painfully from her skin and pressed on the miniscule wound with one of her fingers.
You chewed the sandwich aggressively without tasting anything, the texture turning to mush in your mouth.
“Why didn’t you warn me?” Your words were way more accusatory than what you wanted.
Shoko turned her head to the side looking hurt by your sudden outburst. Her eyebrows scrunched together in pain as she looked for the perfect words, but there were none.
“You admired them. I didn’t want to take that away from you, and when I realized that I probably should have said..”
“Bullshit, Shoko. It’s been ten years. I deserved to know, you could have-”
“Stop blaming me for their shit!” she yelled. Shoko never yells.
You fell quiet. You reined in your anger, its hands still attempting to reach out to anything it could latch on. She was right. It’s not her burden to bear, but you still couldn’t help but feel powerless, when there could have theoretically been someone who could have told you to not go there.
“Sorry,” you simply said just to drop the topic. Shoko sighed defeatedly and pushed her head briefly against her hands. She understood the anger, she really did.
“They drugged me and then raped me together. I don’t remember a lot from it. I fought back – well attempted to,” your voice shook as you spoke.
The brown haired woman simply looked at you with silent empathy.
“Did you at least get one good punch in?”
Your lips curled into a downhearted smile. The memory of your feeble fight playing in your mind, the weakness and despair of it all, a futile attempt of a prey to preserve their life just one moment longer.
“Not a single one,” you laughed hollowly as one tear rolled on your cheek and your lips trembled. “But I did rip some hair out of Geto at the school,” you tried to brighten your voice and be brave.
Shoko’s eyes watered and she answered your smile with her own.
“Good.”
The almost happy expression faded from your face. Everything hurt, never had you ever thought to be in a situation like this where you were exchanging devastation with your friend like gifts on christmas.
“Why did you stay? Even Nanami left for a while, you could have done the same.” Your question was gentler this time.
Shoko pondered for a minute, not sure of her answer either.
“Because this is the only way I could help. I had you and Utahime and I didn’t want to leave you two behind. Besides what else was I supposed to do? I’ve been given a technique that can save many if I choose right. Had I left a lot more could have died because I wasn’t here — all because of what two men did,” she tried to put her thoughts together.
“There’s a reason why Utahime doesn’t like Gojo,” Shoko blurted out and played with her hair.
You took a careful sip of water as if you were trying to carefully dissect the different flavors of Shoko’s words.
“What do you mean? Did they do something to her as well?”
“No. I just mean that women know, you know? I think it’s in our blood to recognize danger. That’s one of the reasons she despises him. But this is just my thought, not an universal truth,” Shoko wondered out loud.
She breathed in once again as if the words she was about to speak were too painful.
“I think sometimes us women have to carry the atrocities of men. There’s no rhyme or reason why they do certain things. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. I never went through what you did, but I can’t say that I’m surprised,” she mused. “I’m sorry though. What you went through. It’s not right.”
Her brown eyes stared at you expectantly. You chewed on your lip nervously and tapped the empty plate with your nail, the small tinkle sound working as a metronome.
“No, it’s not,” you huffed. But it feels like it’s my fault. If I had not gone there, if I had not idolized them – loved them even. This wouldn’t have ended this way. It was easier to leave those words in your head.
“So what now?” You looked at Shoko, your eyes pleading, asking for answers, guidance, anything she would be able to provide to you. You knew there was nothing clear cut Shoko could say, but god how you wished that someone would know what to do.
Shoko shook her head in defeat as if telling you that she wasn’t able to point you on the right track like that.
“Whatever you want. You can stay or go, but you don’t have to carry it alone,” Shoko said, her face gentle. You could still draw out the remnants of the young girl from the year two thousand and six on her features. The lines were almost faded but they were still there.
You found kinship in her even if neither of you had shared the full story of what had happened. You weren’t there yet and you weren’t ready. Instead the two of you skirted around words unspoken finding solace of at least having someone who could understand. It was up to the both of you what to make out of the confessions of the past.
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Give You Blue Masterlist
When your sky is grey, I will give you blue.
Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)
Rating: Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Genre: college au
cw: explicit sexual content, language, angst, hurt/comfort, comedy, fluff - specific content warnings will be provided for each chapter
Summary: You and Reiner, childhood friends and high-school sweethearts, break-up in your sophomore year of college. This is the story about how you pick up the pieces of your heartbreak, with the help of your friends and especially your new RA, Eren Jaeger. A story where there are no villains or heroes, just normal people navigating through life and love, one day at a time.
Author's Notes: Another college au series, yay! I hope you all like this one! All characters are college aged (19-22 years old). Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated, thank you for reading!
Give You Blue Taglist | Give You Blue Playlist
Chapter Title and Summary (spoiler-free):
Chapter 1: How It Ends - Reiner breaks up with you the night before the new semester begins. With his car packed with both of your belongings, the hour long ride to campus the next day offers some clarity.
Chapter 2: First Impressions - You move into your new dorm with your best friend and roommate, Annie, where you update her on your current relationship status. That night, you meet Eren Jaeger, your new Resident Assistant.
Chapter 3: Umbrella - With your classes as a distraction, you manage to survive a month into your breakup. However, you hit a wall when you run into your ex for the first time since the start of the semester. And, as if it couldn't get any worse, you forget to bring an umbrella on a day with heavy rainfall. Luckily, someone comes to your rescue.
Chapter 4: Alone Together - You and Annie attend a dinner at the Mu Phi sorority house on campus. Reiner, on his way out of Delta Delta, ambushes you on the walk back to your dorm for a less than pleasant conversation. Later that week, RA Eren hosts a game-night for his fellow residents. But, with it being on a Friday right after midterms, he's disappointed when it flops. Fortunately, someone comes to his rescue.
Chapter 5: Dreams - Your friendship with Eren is taken to the next level. You have a sweet dream that turns into a nightmare. Eren tells his parents that he is considering changing his major.
Chapter 6: Gravity - You attend a party with Annie, only to run into Reiner unexpectedly. Mistakes are made and Eren is once again to the rescue, more than ever before.
Chapter 7: Electric - You and Eren share an intimate moment together, one that the both of you wish could last forever.
Chapter 8: How It Begins - The conclusion of the series Give You Blue.
Epilogue: A little bonus chapter for our couple.
#eren jaeger#eren smut#reiner braun#reiner smut#eren x you#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren fluff#reiner x reader#reiner x you#reiner x y/n#eren jaeger smut#series#give you blue#attack on titan#attack on titan smut#aot smut#aot fanfiction
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Best Intentions ༓ myg (m)
✑ Summary: As vice president, you are obligated to attend your boss's wedding–you're also his friend. But while you should be focused on the newlyweds, you find yourself far too interested in the attractive best man and the woman who happens to be his plus one.
Pairing: best man!yoongi x vice president!reader
AU/genre: angst, smut, slight thriller, s2l, oneshot
Rating: M, 18+
Word Count: 3,753
Warnings: No infidelity, dark yoongi, sexual content, death (not major character)
sexual warnings: dom!yoongi, sub!reader, cussing, handj*b, unprotected s*x (don't follow their lead!), penetration, car sex, d*rty talk, they c*me together, yoongi has tattoos
Now Playing: Haegeum
A/N: Little nervous about this one butI haven't written fic inspired by Haegeum yet so here we go! Hope you enjoy 💞
You watch as he brushes a few pieces of his dark locks out of his face. Never have you seen such a handsome and alluring man. He takes a seat on the barstool, nodding at the bartender in greeting. “Whiskey, neat. And a sex on the beach for the lady.”
He turns his head over his right shoulder, sparing a glance at the gentle hand resting on him. The woman who it belongs to is nothing short of radiant and confident. Her body is athletically built, her skin soft but tough. Her name is Yeong-Ja and she happens to be his plus one.
“__.” She smiles at you with ruby-red lips. “Why don’t you join us?” Her tone is thick and laced with sensuality. You fight the temptation but you feel instantly small compared to her. It’s not that you find yourself unattractive or anything but Yeong-Ja has a certain aura that’s incredibly rare.
The man, Min Yoongi, sets his gaze on you with a similar intensity. You only met the both of them about half an hour ago and they were already perfectly successful at making your bones quake. You’ve heard the idea of power couples a million times and though Min Yoongi and Yeong-Ja weren't officially together, you'd be a fool to think I'd never happen. They came here together after all.
“Thank you for the invite,” you reply, keeping your eyes as firm as you can. “But I still need to pay my respects to President Kim and his lovely new wife.”
Yeong-Ja taps Yoongi twice, signaling him to stand up. “I need to do that too actually. Why don’t we go together?”
He stays seated despite her gesture. “The drinks haven’t come out yet. I’ll wait for them if you two wanna go.” He looks at you again with his piercing, cat-like eyes. “You sure you don’t want anything __?”
You smooth down the sides of your dress, a nervous response you picked up since a teenager. You wish he wouldn’t follow the movement but he does. “Sure, maybe a strawberry daiquiri.”
Yoongi gives a nod and asks the bartender to include it in the order. “Thank you,” you say.
“Shall we?” Yeong-Ja breaks from Yoongi to near your side. “President Kim’s about to have a ton of guests giving their congratulations. It’s best we do it before the newlyweds run out of steam.”
You nod and make your way to the wedding table.
"Congratulations President and Mrs. Kim." You bow in respect until you're pulled into a light hug.
"Thank you __," Mrs. Kim says. You'd be surprised by the hug if it weren't for the fact that the two of you have known each other since before she and your boss first started dating.
You were the one to set them up actually.
You never thought you'd have that much gull with your boss but you and Seokjin had been working together for a long time. You considered him a friend.
"I'm very happy for the both of you." You smile warmly and embrace Mrs. Kim a little tighter. "And you make such a beautiful bride."
Once broken apart, Yeong-Ja bows herself. "President Kim, Mrs. Kim." They bow in return. "I'm honored to be a guest at your wedding. I wish you both a strong, healthy marriage."
Mrs. Kim smiles wide and touches the woman on the wrist. "Thank you Yeong-Ja....I'm hoping to be a guest at your wedding as well. If you don't mind me asking, how long have you and Yoongi been seeing each other?"
Swallow it. That suddenly sick, queasy feeling in your stomach. If Yoongi was planning to get serious with Yeong-Ja, it's none of your business.
Yeong-Ja blushes and lets out a small chuckle. "Of course, I'll be sure to invite you to my wedding but I'm afraid that won't be anytime soon. Yoongi and I have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks."
Weeks? With the chemistry they have you figured they were at least at months.
"I wouldn't be too set on it being far out into the future," Seokjin says. "One of my colleagues got married after only six months of dating his girlfriend."
"Who was that?" You mouth to which he replied with 'gguk'. Ah, makes sense now.
"Plus," Seokjin continues, "Yoongi's always talking about you and that's saying a lot considering he's pretty brief in general. Whatever you got, it's keeping his attention." He blinks up and cracks a smirk. "Speak of the devil."
Yoongi walks towards the group of you with a drink in each hand. You really need to not stare at his perfectly chiseled face, stoic eyes, and slicked-back hair. Especially after hearing that he's been practically gushing about Yeong-Ja. Still, a bitch doesn't listen.
"Strawberry daiquiri." He passes you your drink before handing Yeong-Ja hers. "And a sex on the beach." He keeps a straight face as he does this.
You notice he's taken his suit jacket off since your last interaction. His sleeves are rolled up too, veins softly protruding.
"Many thanks," you say, taking a sip. "Where's your whiskey?" You distinctively remember him asking the bartender for one but it's nowhere in sight.
Yoongi gives a quick shrug. "Already drank it."
Before another word is spoken the stereos in the reception are cranked up. Yeong-Ja takes a sip of her drink and then snakes her hand into Yoongi's arm. "Come on, we should dance. You too __."
You shake your head. Absolutely not. Dancing is fun when you're with friends but not so much with couples. You learned that the hard way many times when you'd be told that you'll all dance together.
Wrong for you to fall for that.
As soon as a slow, sensual song came on, you'd be hitting the bar or going back to your claimed table in the corner.
"No I'm good. I wanna sit and enjoy my drink for now." You lift your glass to make your point clearer.
Yeong-Ja smiles at you, then tightens her grip around Yoongi's arm and drags him to the dance floor.
You try not to watch them.
You even try sitting in the chair facing opposite of them.
But you look like a wallflower.
Several men come up to you to ask you if you want to dance, thinking you're only waiting for an invitation. Nice of them to offer but you take no interest.
The only man you remotely have your mind on is currently being swayed by another woman. And after about twenty minutes of watching, you find out that Yeong-Ja is not only a sharp thinker and sweet talker—she's also a stunning dancer.
You can tell at first Yoongi is half-assing it but once she starts getting into the beat, his efforts double.
When it comes to the slower songs, however, you can't help but notice a shift in his posture. Yeong-Ja links both arms around his neck in an effort to close the gap between her and Yoongi. It doesn't close, however, as he keeps a safe distance.
It's odd, to say the least but maybe he's just not used to that type of intimacy yet. You continue to study the two of them until you're caught red-handed. Yoongi's eyes shift over to peer into yours.
You have to snap yourself out of your daze a few times. He's definitely just staring off due to the somber music. He's not looking at you.
Oh, shit—he is.
Yoongi traces his eyes down the lines of your dress, all the way down your bare legs and back up to your eyes. His gaze is heavy and gives you goosebumps.
You grip your glass with one hand while the other clings to the edge of your dress, earning you a half-smirk from him.
Fuck.
He's a man of few words but his non-verbals speak volumes.
"She's not his girlfriend." Seokjin looks up at you from his seated position. Mrs. Kim was mingling with some of her close friends so you seized the chance to ask Seokjin about what had just happened. You needed a second opinion. "But they came here together so I assume they're going out. Are you sure he was giving you suggestive looks?"
"I mean, they weren't that suggestive but he definitely body-scanned me and smirked." You pause before continuing. "I'm trying not to think about it in case—uh I don't know. I'm sorry, it's your wedding day and I shouldn't be bothering you about this stuff."
"__, we've been working basically side by side for ten years. Yes I'm your boss still but right now I'd like to think we're friends. You're not bothering me, okay? And as far as Yoongi goes, just ignore it. He was likely smiling at you and it came off as a smirk. If it happens again maybe ask him about it because as far as I know, things are going good between him and Yeong-Ja." Obviously not that well if he's checking out someone else. You bite back the need to speak your mind.
"Okay," you agree. "You're right. It was likely just nothing."
"But you didn't finish your sentence." Seokjin pipes up before you return to your seat. "You're trying not to think about in case what?"
Let's see....how to reply while remaining subtle as possible. Seokjin and Yoongi are close friends so you need to choose your words very carefully.
Telling him you have interest in Yoongi when he's told you over and over again that he's seeing someone would not end well. A classic Kim Seokjin scold would be in dire order.
"....just in case I'm just being foolish or exaggerating what really happened." You say the words casually, no a trace of a fib. "But thanks Seokjin, for letting me talk to you about it."
"Hey." Yoongi catches you in the hallway. Apparently also needed to use the restroom. You do your best to shrug off what happened earlier.
"Hi, how was dancing?" You ask stupidly.
"It was alright. Not usually my thing but I guess I didn't mind. You sure you didn't wanna join us though? Saw a few guys come up to you."
"You saw that?" And here you were thinking you were delusional for thinking Yoongi was purposefully paying attention to you. It causes a twinge of adrenaline to zap through your body. "I didn't really feel like dancing today, that's all."
For a second you and Yoongi exchange silence. You're not sure if he's done talking or if you need to fill the space with more small talk.
"I'm glad it was better for you than usual. Yeong-Ja looks like she knows what she's doing." You fake a small laugh, hoping to break the tension but Yoongi's face remains straight. "Well I should get back in there." You end up slowly walking away but he stops you.
"We don't know each other super well but, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier."
"What are you refering to?"
Yoongi gives you a 'really' look before flashing a gummy smile. It's the first time tonight you've seen him smile so fully. Your breath hitches as he continues. "I think we both know the answer to that. Don't you know how captivating you look in this dress?"
If your mouth wasn't gaping before it such as heck is now. But as giddy as the compliment makes you, you're in no way going to mess up a potentially blossoming relationship. You sure as hell hope that Yoongi isn't double-crossing Yeong-Ja, even if you do wish you'd be in her shoes a little.
"Um, not to be so forward but aren't you with Yeong-Ja? I appreciate the compliment though I'd—"
"We're not serious."
"Excuse me?" You as so utterly lost. Sure he and Yeong-Ja weren't together officially yet but they came here as each other's date. Seokjin and his wife were also making comments about their supposedly romantic relationship and she wasn't denying it so why is he coming onto you like this?
"That didn't come out right. I mean, we're not together romantically but we do work together. I asked her to come because I figured she'd be good company. Seokjin thinks we mold together well but I'm not really interested. To keep it short, I respect her as a coworker and consider her in the highest regard, professionally."
"You're not lying to me right? Because she seems really interested and I don't want to get in the way of anything. I'm not that type of woman alright?" You cross your arms reflexively.
Yoongi takes a step towards you, focused intent. "I have no reason to lie to you __. It's true Yeong-Ja may be interested but she's not the one I've spent half the night staring at."
The hairs on your neck stand straight. Blood rushes through your veins. "You should probably tell Yeong-Ja your feelings then."
"I did," Yoongi interuppts. "When we were back in there she came onto me. I thought all the slow, romantic music was getting to her but she kept trying to kiss me so I had to tell her I wasn't interested in anything beyond friendship."
"Oh, well, is she okay or—"
"She'll be fine. She's like me, not much fazes her. She's likely hitting on the next guy that takes her fancy now." Yoongi inches closer, and you take in the cologne he's wearing. It's subtle but enough to knock you out of your senses. "So you see, I'm not that kind of man either."
"Well good because I would have kicked you in the balls if you were double-crossing Yeong-Ja."
Yoongi snorts. "I'd expect nothing less. But thankfully, my balls are safe for now."
Great, now you're thinking about his balls. Yoongi's breath blows hot against your skin as the space between you seems to get narrower and narrower.
"Do you wanna get out of here for a bit?" He asks with a hoarse voice. "I was thinking about going out for a quick smoke."
"I don't smo—" Yoongi quirks a provocative brow. "Oh, " you finish, knowing full well he isn't proposing to have just a smoke.
You shudder as he towers above you in the backseat of his Bentley. Evidently, Yoongi did well for himself. "We shouldn't be doing this here." When Yoongi proposed you to go out, you didn't expect him to be this quick to get down and dirty.
Fooling around is one thing, but fucking in the backseat of his car in the middle of a wedding is a whole new animal for you.
"No one's gonna see if that's what you're worried about. Everyone's too busy wishing the newlyweds well..." His car is short on space but Yoongi manages to remove his silk vest. The skin of his smooth chest peeks out near the collar of his dress shirt. "But if you wanna stop here then, I won't force you any further."
God this is so indecent but you want him so, so bad. His body on yours, in yours—fuck him for being this hard to resist. You grip the fabric of his shirt and tug him back down.
Yoongi takes the opportunity to sink his head near your ear. "I was hoping this would be your answer." Your eyes roll up when he places a hot, open-mouth kiss on your neck. It's not sloppy but rather controlled as if hinting that this isn't his first go around.
"Take it out for me sweetheart." He coos after a few more nips at your jaw. The look of bewilderment on your face brings out a cocky smirk. "Please?"
His eyes turn playful as he watches you fumble with his belt. "Sorry," he says. "I usually prefer doing this myself but given the position we're in, it's better you do it." You nod. "I'd also take my time with you if it weren't for the fact that we're in my car right now." Who's fault is that? You bite down your bitterness.
"I understand." You pull at his belt buckle, releasing the leather from its hold. He groans when the tips of your fingers graze his bulge. Once you unzip the front of his pants you reach forward to free his cock.
"Fuck," Yoongi breathes, his hard length pulsating in your hand. You whimper and reflexively squeeze him harder. "Shit, don't."
You feel hot all over, drunk on the pleasure he's getting from this. "But you like this," you say, moving your hand up and down his shaft. Arousal pools in your panties as you watch him struggle to gain his composure. You wouldn't be disappointed if he came in your hand from this, but Yoongi puts a stake in those plans like a tidal wave.
He reaches between his legs, suddenly yanking your hand off of him to place it above your head. "You know what I really like __?" He grabs your other hand to join it with the other. "When people listen to what their told the first time."
He pushes up the skirt of your dress, tugs your panties to the side, and thrusts himself into you in one full motion. The immediate stretch has you gasping for air. "Fuck Yoongi–" Yes, you're wet but you still need time to adjust! "Yoongi please, I need a second."
He doesn't respond with any more than husky groans as he steadies himself above you, hands clamping down on your waist. Yoongi stills himself in you, waiting for your signal to move and when you give it to him he wastes no time setting a vigorous pace.
Every push and pull sets your body on fire as his length beats inside you. You move to claw at his back, desperately needing something to grip, but your hands are thrown back down. "Leave them," he growls.
You end up clutching your wrists as your body bounces up and down the seat of the car. The friction is a little rough due to the leather material but you don't have time to think much about it as long as Yoongi keeps fucking you this good.
"Feels-ah-amazing Yoongi, fuck. How'd you get so good at this?"
"How do you think sweetheart?" He wraps one of your legs around his waist, the new angle allows him to sink deeper into your gut. Your hips arch and a few more buttons on Yoongi's dress shirt pop open.
"You have a–chest-chest tattoo?" It's only a blur and you barely get a glimpse when he leans his body forward. But over his heart is black ink in the form of what you can only guess as some kind of wild cat.
"Mhm," he grunts. "Got it when I was 19. One of those impulsive things. Fuck–" he curses feeling you clench around him. "Is this a turn-on for you? You're squeezing me so fucking hard right now."
"Yes. My attraction for you went up about 100%, I can't explain it."
He's amused, shit-eating grin on his far too handsome face. "Well lucky for you, you don't have to explain anything. Open my shirt."
You do as he says and swallow hard seeing the tattoo of a bobcat over his left pec. He can tell you want to ask about it but being that his cock is deep in your heat, he's a little preoccupied. "I'll tell you about it later when we're not you know–fucking like rabbits in the back seat of my Bentley."
You let out a small giggle. It's a wonder no one's caught you yet. Yoongi picks up the pace again, with rough thrusts and beads of sweat around his forehead. "Fuck this pussy is making me so hard. Never been in something so wet and tight in my life." You moan as his cock drags in and out of you, stimulating your g-spot only too perfectly.
"Oh god 'm gonna come Yoongi!" You can't hold back your screams anymore. He's hitting inside you so well, cock throbbing, hair sweaty, muscles tensing, and that sinful chest tattoo teasing in front of your eyes.
"Damn right you are, make this cock yours sweetheart."
Your pussy starts spasming around him. You throw your head back, feeling your tightened core close to unwinding. Yoongi's cock twitches inside you in the seconds following before you both have your release.
Yoongi takes himself out of you, cock dripping with your cum. Your breaths are heavy as you blink up at him from your reclined position. "First time fucking in a car?" he asks, monotone.
"Mhm."
"Did you like it?"
"Mhm."
"Good, I'll give you a few minutes to gather yourself."
Once you both manage to make yourself presentable again, you head back to the reception.
"Where the fuck have you been?!" Yeong-Ja hollers at Yoongi, rushing to him through the parking lot. You're startled at her sharp tone but the closer she gets the more your stomach feels unsettled.
She doesn't give you a glance at all, her attention fully on Yoongi. "Min," she starts. Odd of her to be calling him by his last name all the sudden. "We need to leave now."
You dart your eyes at the two of them. "What-what's going on? It hasn't been that long, did something happen?" Yeong-Ja hesitates to answer so you turn to the man next to you. "Yoongi–Oh my god!" You screech when you see a glowing, red dot hovering over his heart.
Yoongi follows your line of sight. "Shit–" He curses under his breath. "Of all fucking times."
Okay, what the fuck is going on?
Yeong-Ja swiftly pulls out a gun from what appears to be a thigh holster. When she does, you spot the same bobcat tattoo on her upper thigh.
Yeong-Ja cocks the gun before aiming it to the far left. She takes the shot, the red dot instantly disappearing from Yoongi's chest.
"You don't know Yoongi very well __." Yeong-Ja lowers her gun ever so slightly. "To the outside, he's Min Yoongi, a reserved and calculative data analyst, best man to your boss Kim Seokjin. But to the inside world, he's Agust D, leader of the most feared mafia gang, Bangtan."
"I'm sorry sweetheart," Yoongi says. "I wanted to spare you from this. But now that you know our dirty little secret we can't possibly let you go."
So she's his right-hand man.
When Yoongi said they were coworkers, this was not what you were expecting.
How the fuck do you get out of this?
Masterlist
A/N: Me through this whole thing...how do I write warnings without giving away the ending? Anyway, tysm for reading and LMK what you think 💞
Note: Pls help me decide if i should turn this into a series of keep it a one shot ➡ vote here ☺
no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#yoongi x reader#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts angst#bts scenarios#fic:bestintentions#kookslastbutton
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All Mine: Shoto Todoroki
Kinktober Day 1
Warnings: Rated X. This content is intended for audiences age 18 years and older. If you are a minor, do not interact.
Contains: Possessive boyfriend. Groping. Hickeys. Biting. Marking. Voyeurism (sorta). Oral sex (receiving). Vaginal sex.
Author's Note: All characters are written to be aged up to 18 years or older because I am an old fuck :)
“Damn, you really got lucky with her.”
Seven words. That was it. Seven words stuck in Shoto’s head on his way home to you. He and his colleague had been in the car on the way to the airport. He’d been sent away on a mission. He was the muscle, the other guy was supposed to be the brains, although that concept seemed laughable to him now. He’d been looking at his phone, apparently stalking Shoto’s social media. He turned his phone to reveal a photo of you and Todoroki at an event you’d gone to together last year. Shoto really couldn’t blame this other hero, of course. In that picture, you had been wearing a dark gray dress that hugged your body just right, sexy but still classy. You’d looked stunning, although Shoto was fairly sure you looked stunning waking up from a four hour nap.
“Damn, you really got lucky with her,” this man had the audacity to say to Shoto after they had just completed their mission. “What I wouldn’t give to have something like that on my arm.”
Did he just call you a “that?” What could he possibly have meant by that? Shoto continued not to say anything, as if staying quiet would somehow make the other guy disappear. He had to ride all the way back to the agency with this guy. Shoto now wished his hero uniform was equipped with earbuds. He hadn’t thought to get them out of his bag before he got in the car. So Shoto just pulled out his own phone and scrolled through his own social media posts. All he could think about, though, was you.
You belonged to him, he reassured himself. That picture, in the silver dress, the one with the slit that went almost to your hip, the one with the too-low neckline, the one that made you irresistible to him and everyone else at that party. That picture was the version of you that everyone else got. Shoto got to see you in your pajamas, with your hair sticking straight up when you first woke up in the morning. He got to see you wrapped in a towel or in a robe when you’re fresh out of the shower. He got to watch you get dressed in the morning. You were his.
And by the time he actually got home early the next morning, he was aching to see you, to touch you, to make sure you were actually his. More than four weeks apart. Actually, it was thirty two days, but who was counting?
He was.
It was early. You were making yourself breakfast. Although, when you heard the door knob shift with keys in the lock, you dropped everything. You didn’t close the bag of cereal, you just ran to your boyfriend in the other room. “Shoto!” you cheered, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He relished your body pressed up against his, wrapping his arms around your waist and breathing in the fresh scent of your conditioner, your hair still damp from your morning shower.
“I missed you,” he said into your neck. He pulled away, and you held his face, caressing it with your thumb as you looked up at him.
“I missed you, too,” you agreed before reaching to press a sweet, prolonged kiss on his lips. His kiss, in return, was languid. He must be tired, you thought
Shoto was tired. He hadn’t slept very much on the plane, and that idiot was droning on about different women most of the ride back. But truthfully, it took everything Shoto had to restrain himself from sitting on the couch with you in his lap and taking you then and there.
You felt Shoto’s warm hands spread across your back, pressing you into his body even further. You sighed into the kiss, whimpering as his hands started to wander lower. The lock clicked behind Shoto. Now you were, truthfully, alone.
With one smooth movement, Shoto flipped your positions, and he pressed your back against the door to the apartment. His hands tugged at your hips, and then, when you were pressed up against him so closely, was when you realized how needy he was. His hardness pressed into your lower belly, and you felt something of your own shift below the waist. Your breathing now labored, you ground your hips into his. His strong hands grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head. Shoto’s heterochromatic eyes stared into yours, something darkening within him as he asked, “Who do you belong to?”
You felt something darkening behind your own expression, and it took you a few seconds to come up with the answer you knew would be adequate. Those few seconds were too long for Shoto. One hand pinning your hands to the wall, the other came to firmly wrap around your throat. “I said, who do you belong to?” he asked again.
He waited again to allow for a response. After a deep breath, you finally answered, “I’m yours, Shoto. I belong to you.”
“That’s better,” he responded. He let go of your hands and your throat, and he connected his lips to your jawline. His hands wandered to the hem of your shirt, traveling underneath to rest on your bare waist. His kisses wandered lower, too, down your neck. They slowly became hungrier, more fervent, as you began to give yourself up to Shoto and his desire. You felt his teeth scrape against your skin, and his hands squeezed your hips and kneaded the fat beneath your shirt. “Take it off,” he demanded, stepping away and starting to strip himself. You didn’t know what he meant, so you assumed he meant everything. You pulled your shirt over your head, and you pushed your sweatpants and panties to the ground.
That was when you got a glimpse of him, muscled all over, bruised from his most recent battle, and hard as a rock. Your hunger settled in the pit of your stomach, your arousal leaking from your pussy like a faucet. Shoto looked at you, too. You were perfect. Too far, he thought. He was much too far away from you. He closed the gap between you and kissed you, much harder than before. Lips and tongue and teeth gnashing at yours, breath heavy as he inhaled your scent. His senses couldn’t be filled with you fast enough. His mouth trailed down your body, starting at your ear and traveling to the base of your neck, almost to your shoulder. You felt Shoto’s teeth against your collarbone, your flesh sucked between his teeth. Shoto’s hands slid over your body, coming to rest on your ass cheeks. His palms kneaded the fat that was suspended there, his grip so ardent you were sure you’d have his handprint there for the rest of your life.
You sighed hard and closed your eyes as you took in the sensation of him. When Shoto finally pulled away from his attack on your collarbone, he admired the mark that was left there, already starting to bruise. He looked you straight in the eyes again, and he growled, “Mine.” You felt your cheeks heat. Shoto’s lips left a trail of kisses down your body, starting just below your neck. “Mine.” A kiss between your breasts. “Mine.” A kiss on your stomach. “Mine.” A kiss below your belly button. He continued until the air could no longer find your lungs, his lips so close to giving you the relief that you so desperately craved.
Time slowed down as Shoto hooked one of your legs over his shoulders. “Say it,” he commanded, staring deeply into your eyes, looking right into your deepest wants and needs.
You swallowed hard, reminding yourself to breathe. “I’m yours,” you uttered.
He gripped your outer thigh with one hand and your ass cheek with the other. “Again,” he commanded, placing a kiss on your inner thigh and tracing gentle shapes on the other leg.
“‘M yours, Shoto,” you gasped. “‘M all yours! Please touch me.”
“That’s my girl,” he praised with a grin before wrapping his lips around your clit. His tongue lapped slowly at your most sensitive parts. You rested your head against the wall, letting out a loud sigh. Shoto dragged his tongue between all your creases before lapping at your clit and staring up at your beautiful face. His hands returned to their places, kneading the fat on your ass and your thighs. God, you were beautiful, he thought staring up at you. He thought about that guy in the car, on the plane, at the agency. He got to see you in that dress, but he didn’t get to see you like this, legs spread wide, head thrown back, and mouth hanging open in pleasure. Like this, you were all his. You were only for him.
Your hips started to quiver, and you could feel your knees get weaker as you got closer and closer to the high that you had been craving for weeks. You had touched yourself to the thought of him while he was gone, but there was nothing like the feeling of Shoto between your legs, lapping at all your most sensitive places.
And then all of a sudden, he moved. He stood up, making you whine at the loss of his touch. “Sho, please,” you begged.
“Oh, I’m not done yet,” he reassured you. Shoto grabbed you underneath your ass cheeks and lifted you, wrapping your legs around his waist and pushing you against the door for additional support. He stroked himself, and he placed the tip of his cock at your entrance. “You want this, baby?” he asked as he teased between your lips with his dick.
You felt yourself clench underneath his touch, your pussy aching to be filled by him. “Yes, please,” you whimpered, nodding.
Shoto looked you straight in your eyes, his forehead pressed up against yours, and he pushed past your entrance. You gasped as he entered you, inch by inch. He was as desperate as you were, longing to just shove himself into you. But this wasn’t about him.
With every centimeter of his cock that entered you, you whimpered and gasped for him. And when he was buried inside you to the hilt, he rested there for a second, listening to you whine for more pleasure. “Please fuck me, Sho,” you pleaded. “I’m all yours. I’m all for you. Please, fuck me.”
He smirked as he started to move, his thrusts slow at first. He didn’t have much balance where his feet were planted on the floor, but he couldn’t stop looking at you as he thrusted, your eyes rolled back, your mouth pursed shut in an attempt to hold in your moans. Shoto kneaded your ass again, and he said, “Don’t hold back, baby. Whoever’s out there, I want them to hear that you’re mine.”
In response, you let out another extended whine, much louder than you had been before. Shoto said, “Good, baby,” and started to thrust into you much faster.
It wasn’t difficult to bring you to the edge of your next orgasm. It had been so long since you’d felt Shoto’s body pressed against yours, since you felt him inside you like this. “Sho, ‘m gonna–”
“I know,” he interrupted, wrapping a hand around your throat. “Say it again,” he demanded.
“I’m yours!” you cried. “I’m all yours. Nobody else’s. I belong to you, Shoto!”
And just like that, you were cumming around him, your orgasm pulsing through you like tidal waves. Your moans might have concerned any passers-by on the other side of the door, but you didn’t care. You didn’t even think about that as Shoto pressed into you three more times before unleashing a flood of his release into you. Groans and growls and heavy breathing left you both wordless, eyes closed as he held you close.
Shoto carried you to the couch, and he sat down. He was still buried deep inside you, but he pulled you close to him anyway, your chest pressed against his. Your breathing was heavy as you laid against him, his lips pressing against yours softly and sweetly before you laid your head down on his shoulder.
Your eyes closed, you weren’t sure how long you laid against him before his fingers began to ghost over your back. “All mine,” he whispered again, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. “I am so lucky.”
His warmth and cold enveloped you, and your relaxation melted into each other. “I love you, Sho,” you muttered, pressing a long, sweet kiss to his jawline. “You’re all mine, too.”
Shoto felt his cheeks heat at the thought.
You were his, and he was yours.
And that was all he needed.
This work was written by Abigail "Billie" Rothenberger. Please do not copy this work on Tumblr or any other platform.
#mha#bnha#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha smut#bnha smut#mha shoto#bnha shoto#mha todoroki#bnha todoroki#todoroki x reader#shoto x reader#shoto smut#todoroki smit#kinktober#mha kinktober#bnha kinktober
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Get Lost
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You get caught in the corn maze after dark but you don’t think those footsteps belong to someone trying to help you find your way out.
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: this is the fifth and final of my autumn fics as decided by all of you!
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
Jaden points across the dash, receiving a swat from Alexandria as she tries not to veer.
“Hey,” she cries out, “don’t do that. I can’t see over your ugly sweater.”
“Oh, whatever, Lex,” he snips, “I was just trying to show you that.” He points again, this time without blocking her view, “you see that sign ahead?”
“Sure, I see it,” she leans over the wheel as your nail taps across your phone screen. You huff. You wish they’d stop arguing for one moment. “A maze?”
“A corn maze. Doesn’t that sound fun? I haven’t been to one since I was a kid.”
“Of course, you haven’t,” you scoff and let your phone hang carelessly in your hand. “We’ve all seen that movie with the evil kids. Who wants to go running through a field?”
“I do,” Ashton says, “better than driving around looking for those shoes that don’t exist.”
His girlfriend, Samira, laughs and leans into him. You blow a raspberry.
“It’s all the way out in the middle of nowhere,” you sneer.
“Well, Mrs. Xanny, you never want to do anything so your vote counts for nothing,” Jaden retorts.
“Excuse me,” you roll your eyes.
“I’m up for it,” Ashton raises his hand.
“Me too,” Samira mimics him.
“Me three,” Jaden declares. “So looks like you two are outvoted.”
“Whatever,” you mutter and Alexandria sighs.
“Fine, but nobody better leave me behind. I’m not getting lost because of you idiots,” she growls.
“Don’t worry, Lexi, I’ll hold your wittle hand,” Jaden teases.
The others laugh and you go back to your phone. You’re more interested in the new heels at your favourite boutique than some dirty and scarecrows. Alexandria steers on as she continues to snap at Jaden to stop distracting her. Her driving is a lot scarier than anything that might be hiding in the maze.
You swipe and tap and tune out the world around you, especially the two lovebirds exchanging not so subtle touches beside you. Jaden had to insist on sitting in the front. Finally, the car rolls, the axle jostled by the lumpy ground, and you look up at the gray sky. You hate daylight savings.
When the wheels are still, you’re reluctant to get out. You could offer to watch the car until they get back. It’s cold and you don’t feel like slogging through soil and seed.
“Hey, Lex,” you begin.
“If I’m going, you’re going,” she snips as she undoes her seatbelt.
You curl your lip and make a face at her back. The others are already out of the car. Jaden’s bouncing eagerly, Ashton’s staring at the gate to the maze, and Samira is draped off her boyfriend’s arm. They probably just want to find a dark corner so they can makeout. They are so high school.
“Fifteen bucks?” You read the sign above the table, “blech. I could put that towards my hair appointment tomorrow.”
“Oh, boo hoo,” Jaden snorts.
“Don’t act like you don’t have the money,” Samira jeers.
You call these people ‘friends’ lightly. You all just kind of stick together out of familiarity. Most people you’ve met aren’t much better so why risk downgrading.
You take a step and feel your tall heel sink into the mud. Ew.
“Oh, my boots,” you whine as you lift your sole, the muck dripping off of it.
“Wash em after,” Ashton says.
“These are Louis’,” you snarl.
“And you have at least three identical pairs at home. Lighten up,” he barks back.
You cross your arms and seal your lips with a wry smile. You’re not arguing with him. He’s been a jerk ever since you turned him down at his sister’s twenty-fifth. You suppose it was his birthday two, them being twins and all. Not that he looks very much like Alexandria.
You trod after the four others, trying not to step too deep in the mud. You growl at the ground. You know what’s not dirty, a salon or a store.
“Nice boots,” a deep voice rolls over you as you join the queue for tickets.
You lift your head and look over at the man nearby. He steps up next to you as you eye his bristly upper lip. It’s a look, not a good one.
“Brave girl going in alone,” he comments.
You frown, “I’m not,” you step closer to your friends and they chatter.
“Oh, coulda fooled me,” he remarks as he reaches into his jacket. “So, those Louis boots... those are last year’s...”
“How would you know?”
He shows the lining of his jacket. Also Louis. He pokes his fingers into the interior pocket and slides out a pack of gum. He pushes out a piece and pops it in his mouth. He tucks the pack back into his pocket and drops his hands to his hip.
“So,” he chews the gum loudly. “You’re not really dressed for a maze.”
“And you are?” You scowl, looking him up and down. He copies your posture and does the same to you.
“I’m not here for the maze, baby girl,” he winks and snaps the gum. “But you have fun.”
He turns and struts away before you can respond. Your lips open in confusion. What could he mean? You blink and shut your mouth, stepping up between Alexandria and Ashton.
“So, how long are we going to have to stand around?” You ask.
🌾
You hold your phone up in irritation. Your bars are totally gone. Great. This maze thing is so fucking boring. What are you supposed to do now?
You sniff and shake your head. You sigh and put your phone in your jacket pocket, keeping your hand in the fleecy insert as the chill creeps up your leggings. You guess you’ll have to help or whatever.
“Alex--” you look ahead then back, and side to side. Your heart leaps and you rush forward as fast as you can on your six-inch heels, “Alexandria? Ashton?” You look around the next corner and the opposite way along the other pathway. “Samira?”
You spin again, your ankles tangling together. You blink as the tall corner adds to the dimness setting over the horizon. You gulp as your heart pounds in your throat. You slip your phone free once more and turn on the flashlight.
You aim it ahead and listen for voices. You don’t hear much past the dense wall of stalks. As you brush a bit too close, you cry out and back away from the hanging husk. You shake of the crawling sensation and turn back and forth again. You lost your sense of direction.
You look up at the sky. The clouds are thick, you can see neither moon or sun. You stop and pull your phone closer. You bring up your maps but it’s just a blank screen. Still no signal.
Fuck it. Just walk, you’ll find the way.
You shine the light ahead of you, your heels sinking into the mulch of footsteps, husks, and stones. You walk unevenly over the soft ground. You mumble obscenities as your arches start to bemoan the height. If you had known about this special excursion, you could’ve worn your Uggs.
There’s a scuff, a strange echo of your own steps. You stop but it keeps going. You squint and twirl around, the light glinting off the corner and slicing through shadows. “Hello?” You call out.
The footsteps continue but no one answers. You can’t tell if they’re ahead of you or behind you. Or to the left. Or right. You sway back and forth. This is getting weird.
You take a breath and set your feet. You nearly trip as your heels dig in once more. You grunt and pull them out. You’re about to just scream for help.
A sudden rumble makes you squeal. What the hell was that? You twist around and it happens again. It’s laughter? Someone’s laughing at you?
You look at the tall stalks of corn, searching between the tight rows.
“Alright, not very funny. Ashton....” you holler.
The laughter gets louder.
“Jaden,” you hiss.
The laughter stops.
“I really am not amused, okay? I want out. I never even wanted to do this stupid thing--”
“Those boys are long gone, sweet peach,” the voice drawls around you like the wind, “I’m all man.”
“Where are you? Who are you?” You ask.
“I’m right behind you, baby, and I’m your knight in shining armour,” he purrs.
You gasp and turn around. You beam the flashlight of the phone in the man’s face. You only get a glimpse of that short brown mustache before the cell is knocked from your grasp.
“What are you tryna do? Blind me?” He snarls as your phone disappears between the corn.
“What-- What do you want?” You step back, dragging your heels from the mud.
“I wanna help, baby,” he slithers. “You seem lost.”
You blink at him. He’s a dark silhouette against the greyness trapped in the maze. You bristle and look over at the corn.
“Sure, I’ll just grab my phone, thanks--”
“Ah, ah,” he comes up to meet you, blocking you with his arm. “I don’t work for free, honey pot.”
“Fine, then go away,” you spit.
“Woah, ho, you haven’t even asked what I want in return, sweetie,” he brings his other hand up to touch your cheek and you flinch away.
“You’re not getting it, dude,” you back up.
“Just a little suck. Hell, you give the little guy a nice kiss and I won’t even make you finish the job--”
“Ew, no way,” you smack his hand down as he reaches for you again. “Fuck off--”
He’s quick. He grabs you by your jaw and snarls as he looms over you, “for such a pretty mouth it sure is fucking filthy. Won’t matter what I put in it--”
“Hey,” you grunt and writhe in his grasp, twisting your hands around his thick forearms, “get off--”
“I’m trying, trust me--”
You ram your knee up and feel the crunch in his pants. He wheezes and lets you go. You shove him and stagger backwards. You look at the corn one last time. Your phone is somewhere in there.
As he cradles his crotch and snarls, the urgency of the moment slaps you across the face. Fuck your phone. You need to get away from this creep.
Thank god you got insurance on your cell plan. You turn and lift your knees. You land on your toes, keeping your heels off the ground as much as you can. You’re not going very fast and you know you look ridiculous but you don’t care. You want to go home.
You pump your arms as you breath hitches. You hear groans and another set of steps, just like before. You get to a corner and turn before you crash through the corn. You heave as you race away, ankles threatening to bend. At what point do you just ditch the Louis’ and mourn them with your phone.
You cough and slow down. Shit. You’re in terrible shape. You look over your shoulder, your breath foggy in the plummeting temperature. You don’t see him. You don’t hear him either. Good.
You turn--
“Boo!” The man startles you so you shriek.
You stagger back as he cackles and you hurl yourself forward. Your feet catch as your heels stab the ground and you stumble with your arms flailing away from him. Your shallow breaths thunder around you as you charge through the maze only to find yourself trapped at a dead end.
You stop and waver, lungs filled with fire. Fuck, fuck, fuck! You stomp with each internal proclamation.
“Look, sugar tits, you can keep running and I’ll keep chasing,” the man struts up behind you as you spin to face him. “But it all ends the same way.” He sets his feet wide and cracks his knuckles. “And since you bruised my left nut,” he snarls, “you can kiss that better first.”
“Uh, like why are you doing this?” You ask.
He chortles, “like because I can.”
You snarl and cross your arms, “you’re a loser. And you’re old. Like, can’t you find someone your own age to creep on?”
He laughs louder but there’s not much humour in it. He stalks closer and your defiance glimmers, just a little. You don’t know where he gets off. Does he really think he can just tell you what to do?
“So, I knew you were gonna be a handful,” he grabs you by the neck and you wince. You slap his wrist and he tuts, bringing his other hand up to grope your chest, “in more ways than one.”
“Hey, fuck--” you grit out. “Hey!”
“Look, sweetie, it’s a simple transaction. I pull my pants down, you keep those teeth to yourself, and be real nice to me,” he glares down at you. “The way you crushed my balls, you’re lucky I don’t make you lick my boots.”
“What is wrong with you?” You growl.
“Oh, a lot,” he smirks. “Now, those boots must kill your feet so...” he jerks you roughly, “on your knees.”
Your eyes tinge just a little but you won’t cry. Not because of him. You gnash your teeth and grimace at him as he peels his hand away.
“You got one thing going for you, baby, and that’s that pretty face. I can change that, trust me,” he warns. You swallow avert your eyes. He chuckles again, “god, I love that pout.”
You bat your lash and fight to keep the litany of insults inside. You caterpillar faced fuck. You viagra powered moron. You overgrown frat boy.
“The next time you open your mouth, it better be to gobble my cock,” he sneers, “so don’t even say it.”
You look at him again. You set your eyes and your jaw. You step closer and he lifts his chin just slightly as he stares you down.
You grab his belt and he twitches. You unbuckle it and whip the ends aside. You pop the button open and yank the zipper apart. He watches you, his eyebrow tweaking. You push his fly wide and roll your eyes as you feel his naked pelvis beneath your fingertips. Of course, this weirdo is hanging loose.
You reach under his pants and angle his hard dick through the teeth of the zipper. You stroke him up and down with a dry, tight grip. He hisses and shifts his weight.
“Careful, like sandpaper,” he rasps.
You tut and look down. You huff. You move one foot back and bend your leg. You put one knee to the ground then the other. You make a face as you come level to his tip. Ugh.
“Don’t look so fucking enticed,” he barks. You roll your eyes again and he swats your head. “Keep doing that and your eyes are getting stuck.”
Old. Man.
You pump him again and slowly, inch by inch, lean in.
“Ah, I said kiss the left one first, then you can get to the main dish,” he puts his hand on his hip.
You swallow and push down a tide of disgust. You lift him and lean your head to the side. You crane around and pucker, pressing your lips to his left ball. He twitches and groan.
“Damn, those lips are soft. Do the other one.”
With bile brewing in your stomach, you obey. You pull back and put his tip to your lips. You narrow your gaze at his pelvis and spread your mouth around him. You wet his swollen head then work your way down his length. He might be a desperate loser but he’s not small.
You bob up and down as you take more and more of him. He curls his fingers into his hip as his other hand goes to the back of your head. He urges you on and you bat his hand with yours. You push back against him and flick your eyes up.
“You are a stubborn one,” he rebukes.
Your lips meet your hand and you pump him emphatically with both, popping off his tip so he whimpers. He clutches a wad of your hair as his eyes gleam desperately.
“I kissed it better,” you wipe your mouth, “you show me the way out, and you might just finish, old man.”
He stares down at you. Agitation and amusement battle across his expression. He takes a breath and lets it out.
“One last kiss and I’ll get you out,” he says, “And then you’ll get me off.”
The cold air swirls around you and the darkness floods through the corn. You squeeze him slightly and put a sloppy kiss on his tip with a loud muah. You let go and tickle along his length. You grab onto his arm and pull yourself to your feet.
“I want out. Now.”
“Alright, princess,” he snickers. “Don’t you worry, I got a throne you can sit on when we’re home free.”
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The Urge to Let Go - Anton
Genre - Smut
Word count - 3k 😭
Warnings - Mature Language, Sexual Themes, fembody, SwitchAnton, mentions of alcohol, footplay, cumplay, panty sniffing, receiving oral from both ends (in a car), anton is literally obsessed, jakesim is a vv small character, hint of cheating at the end(iguess),
Summary - Anton decides to stay alone at his family's vacation home for summer break away from college. Deciding one day too head and swim at the community pool he meets you. Holding back the filthy urges he has throughout those two days he soon has a chance to have you...he finally can't hold back the dirty things he thinks of.
lil sequel
He decided to go to the family vacation house instead of spending his summer with his family, and what did that get him? Nothing. Anton was already bored and if he would've gone home, he could've been bothering his brother or even his mom. An average person would just take the shit they had unpacked, repacked, and went home but Anton refused. Looking on maps he tried to find anything that could become a staple for the summer till he went back to university. Cafe? he did not want it, Greek restaurant downtown? highly uninterested, Community pool? He could go for a swim. Looked like the pool was his destination.
Upon arrival, he paid the simple five-buck fee and walked in. He watched the lifeguards' changing spots so the recent ones could have a break he assumed. Placing his things down he peeled off his shirt before pausing, glancing a bit higher than face view he saw you, your bare back as you climbed up the ladder to sit in the signature strawberry red lifeguard chair. The sunscreen giving your skin glow, the matching red one piece you wore that showed your figure, the sunglasses you put on to hide your eyes from the sun allowed the uncomfortable look to leave your face, a simple anklet shining in the sun, and the gorgeous red that painted the most pretty feet he had ever seen. Letting out a sigh he caught himself and turned away before you could realize he was looking.
Diving into the water, he felt a small refresh in his skin from how hot it grew under the summer sun and from how he started to blush once looking at you. Swimming around he thought it would relax him, though he could not bear but look at you again. He could feel his body growing warm again; he did not understand why you suddenly had such a strong hold on him. Was it the fact he had not found any female appealing in a while? meaning he had not gotten laid in a couple of months? Was it just the stifling air messing with him? How does the sun make you look? He had no clue. He wanted you; he knew that.
He began questioning himself, why he was weak enough to think about you in such a way. How he wanted to taste the mix of your skin and sunscreen. Your pretty feet too just run against his now growing package, his cock. Oh god. Looking around he immediately reached for his towel and climbed out of the pool, he needed to leave if you were going to rest up there for a good while. He wished he could speak to you but had no courage to do so.
He rushed himself to the restroom while drying his hair, he almost felt anxiety creep in as he questioned if you found him weird or seen him watching you. Getting in the opening of the pool he saw the restrooms, walking that was he noticed the cubby wall for the workers to put their belongings. Looking around he saw the concession stand was not open, so no one was in there besides him and anyone who could be in the restrooms. He felt disgusted with himself, but his cock was begging for him to do so, no. No! He was not going to do such a thing.
"Are you wanting something from the stand?" Anton jumped only to feel his cock do the same when he turned to notice you "I noticed you've been standing here for a while". He nodded because no words could leave his lips, he took a whiff of your perfume as you walked by. The simple coconut perfume everyone uses smelt so different to you. Walking to the concession he looked around; he watched you up close now. Your breasts practically fell out of the one piece you wore.
"Uhm just a lemonade" he muttered before hearing you chuckle then grab it for him. "Your voice is so quiet" you respond before he watches you take the two dollars from him. Oh, your voice, your giggles, he was already hooked deep. He just smiled back and took the drink, watching you close the stand then head back to the pool area he gulped, turning back to the cubby wall he lost it "Fuck this.". Walking to it he noticed the perfume...the yellow beach-themed bottle with the water-blue words "Tropical Coconut.".
Once mumbling the words to himself, he snatched the bottle and tossed it in his towel's folds. Once wanting to walk away he then paused one last time, he wanted to take everything, but he could not bear to let himself do such a thing. Walking out he got in his car and left. His heart pumping out his chest, but his cock felt some relief that he had something of yours. The drive home was so peaceful yet the shameful pervert in Anton's head was not afraid to remind him, but it was too weak to change his mind.
He pulled at the bit of chapped skin on his lips, his throat dry as he stared at the lemonade and then back at the perfume that sat dead center in the middle of the coffee table. His cock still begging to be touched but his brain was still too busy whirling around in circles to even think about how much ache he was in. A filthy pervert. That is what he was or at least what he was trying to call himself instead of a genius for the fact that once he smelt this perfume and stroked his cock, he would not have a care in the world. Holding the bottle now in his hands he looked at the spray nozzle, spraying it above him he took another guilty whiff. The smell now stuck in his nose, he chuckled, this was not a guilty whiff, it was a pleasurable one.
He sprayed it everywhere, his pillows now drenched in the coconut scent, the kitchen, the hallway, everywhere! Even in the hit shower, it lingered enough for him to grow eager once again. His hands took his cock which caused a hitched sigh to leave him. He chuckled once again at how he finally was going to get relief. He was going to paint the shower walls.
Stroking his length, he felt a tingle run down his spine, closing his eyes he let his imagination run wild "Oh baby~ that's it.". Moans after moans leaving him as his wrist allowed him to pick up the pace. His hips stuttered as he fucked his hand. "I-I'm going to cum..Shit I'm going to cum!". A whine left him with each rope of cum that left his cock.
He thought that was the end but smelling it on his sheets could not help but go repeatedly. Loud moans echoing his room at how sensitive he got from overstimulation. Wiping the cum from his stomach he sighed "You return the perfume tomorrow then she won't know a thing.". He had to repeat this in his head before falling asleep. He was not going to let his cock rule out his mind.
He wished doing such a thing was just as easy as speaking it, he once again faced to face with your cubby. Staring at where your stuff was yesterday, where were your things? For some reason he began to panic, he had to deeply think if he left it there would you think he took it? surely not. You'd think someone just borrowed it or lost it. Placing it in the empty cubby, he immediately turned on his heels and walked to the pool area.
He felt a shocking pain between his legs as he bumped into someone, looking up that tingle from his dick was now satisfactory to him. It was you, I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention!". look at you, so sweet looking while panicking. Holding himself together he nodded "I-It's okay, just a simple accident" He added before looking at the tote bag that struck him. He had to hold himself together and pretend he didn't want to beg for you to do it again.
"If you were going to the pool, they closed it because a kid got sick" you informed him causing him to nod "You could come with us though, we're going to the lake not too far from here". He couldn't lie, he was incredibly grateful for your friend and what he assumed you thought was her blabbering mouth. Seeing how you weren't too fond of this he felt bad at how needy he was for you and agreed. "Great just follow us." Fuck this was it.
Anton was now quaking once he got in his car and followed you, he was now going to see you in your comfort and relaxation which didn't seem like much but for him, it was fucking exciting. Once you park, he notices it was a small get-together with friends, and two guys who were already there were pulling the alcohol out of their trunks. Once again though, for Anton, they weren't the main priority. You were his only goal, no matter what it was going to involve you. Getting out he followed you and introduced himself to the others.
Immediately one person wasn't fond of him, Jake. Jake also was trying to get in your pants; Anton was far from intimidated though. If it was between him and Jake, then so be it. He wasn't going to lose when the prize was to swoon you over. "So, are you still going to be soft-spoken?" you chuckled making Anton smile "I'll try my hardest not to, hopefully, the alcohol will make me a bit louder.".
Grabbing a beer from the cooler he saw you smile "I can make you loud if I have to" you whispered before taking a beer yourself. Anton was stuck by your words, once again he was growing warm. If only you knew how much you had affected him. Taking a huge gulp of his beer he then sat next to you "You really think so?" he smirked. "I know so.".
The night went on and Anton could feel the tension between the two of you, the multiple beers you had before sharing a bottle was enough for him to get louder and more courageous for you. He could see on your face that you were enjoying him too. "So, do you stay around here?" the question caught him off guard a bit, Were you that curious about him? Was it a sign that you wanted to go home with him? "Yeah, I'm about ten minutes from here".
He watched your eyes widen a little before biting your bottom lip. Fuck, you looked so sexy when you did that. "Maybe we should ditch?" his breath hitched at your words. Nodding at what you said he then got up from the picnic table and took your hand. The others were too busy drinking more that they almost didn't notice you two lefts till Anton got the view of seeing Jake pissed. Anton couldn't wipe the smirk off his face.
"Do you live down here or just for the summer?" you asked as Anton responded with a nod "Yeah, just for the summer. My family has a vacation home down here, so I've been staying here.". He watched you nod as you listened to him, or at least he was. It wasn't until you ran your hand over his thigh "You seem like a sweet boy Anton...kind of wished I would've known you sooner." "You shouldn't let that stop you though, it's only the second day of summer and I could be yours all season if you want.". He meant that and he made it clear as he glanced at you one last time waiting for a response.
"Yeah? You'd be my all summer? I could do what I want with you?". Anton nodded at every question that left your lips, a shiver running down his spine at your tone. The way you talked to him like a lost dog was enough to put him in shambles. That cute giggle left your lips as your hand was now placed on his growing bulge. "I don't know. You don't seem needy enough.
Those words were enough for him to pull the car over, which caused you to glance at him like he was insane. Turning to you, he let out a shaky sigh, his eyes now glistening a little from needy tears "You don't understand how bad I want you, you don't know how much I've craved you since I watched you yesterday...I would throw all of my manhood out the door if that meant you'd touch me and treat me like your filthy mutt." This left you in slight shock and he could tell but didn't care. Taking your hand, he forced it to grip his semi-hard cock. "Please...I'll bet my life away.".
He watched a smirk form on your lips before you leaned closer, running your lips against him he whimpered trying to lean in for a kiss. "If I knew you wanted me that bad, I would've fucked you then and there". "So, make up for it.". Now you both were in shambles once you pulled his lips in for a kiss. His cock now twitched in his swim shorts.
Pulling away you chuckled against his lips before placing your finger at the corner of his mouth to try and wipe the lip gloss off, it being no use once he took your fingers into his mouth sucking on them while more moans left him. "I bet you love this. Knowing you're sucking the fingers that I fuck myself with." Anton immediately nodded as saliva now ran down the corner of his mouth. pulling your finger away you licked it up before pulling him back in for a kiss. Holding your leg, he brought your foot up to his clothed cock, a small whine leaving him "Please rub my cock~". The closest thing you had ever seen, you couldn't help but oblige.
"My feet too? you must love everything about me" You chuckled only to see him nod eagerly. Using your hand to pull down his swim shorts you placed your barefoot back on his cock, the precum being smeared with each movement you made. Licking the fingers he was once sucking on you watched him lean back in the seat, brows knitted together, and fingers laced in your anklet before placing a small kiss on your knee. "I-I think I might cum.." Chuckling at his breathless moans I pulled my foot away. "Lick it up" you added showing him the precum on your foot, and he followed exactly what you asked.
Licking up his precum he then kissed your ankle before you pulled away to crawl into the backseat. Your pussy dripping at how eager he was to follow behind you. Letting him sit you then pumped his cock "You want to cum? Hmm? You should cum down my throat. Would you like that baby?". Biting his bottom lip, he pulled you into a kiss while nodding "Mhm~ please let me cum~". You nodded before taking him into your mouth.
"Oh shit!" a huff of air left him as you felt him run his hand down your back and slip into your bottoms. You felt his slick fingers run against your anus; he must have licked them. You couldn't help but moan around his cock once feeling him push two fingers in your tight hole. "Anton~" Oh god you were moaning for him, moaning for his fingers to fuck you. Anton was already getting fuzzyheaded at your moans let alone your warm mouth take all of him.
His hips shuttered causing him to try and apologize but it was no use feeling the cushion of your throat against his begging tip. His stomach tightened, his breathing was uneven, his cock twitched from how much he was holding back. Anton knew he was going to cum at any moment. His eyes rolled back "D-don't move! Oh god!". the whine being the last spoken word before he filled your throat with cum and his bottom lip shivering with every breath he took.
Pulling away he watched you swallow it before pulling him into a kiss, the taste of his cum and your salvia now sending him into overdrive. Removing his fingers he moved your bottoms to the side "Lay down...". He leaned closer to your pussy, a sigh leaving him as he felt the warm creamy substance swimming through your slit. Looking up at you he smirks before licking his finger only after smelling your sweetness. He was going to devour you finally.
A gasp left' you once you felt his warm tongue against your clit, his soft eyes looking up at you while doing such sinful acts. He wanted you to know that he was here to please you and that anything you wanted he would easily do. Your fingers ran through his dark hair, tugging with each quick lap of his tongue. "Just like that... you're doing s-so good..." you sighed watching the windows fog as you tilted your head back feeling his tongue swirl around your clit. You felt a sigh leave him which only made you shiver due to his warm breath running up your soaked slit.
"Please cum on my tongue, please, please~" you couldn't hold back much longer hearing his begs for your release, gripping his hair tighter and practically pulling on it you felt your stomach drop and your release rush from you. You could hear every whimper, whine, and slurp from Anton as he licked you clean. Gasping you slowly began catching your breath as you watched him lick his lips clean with a smile "Feel good?". The confidence on his face only made you drip more as you nodded. "Best I've had" Now this had Anton blushing extremely.
-----
The summer went by in a flash, Anton was growing eager to come down to his last week and still not being able to be inside your pussy. He'd text you every night praising you more than any man has ever done, but when Anton came to the pool there was just no courage to speak to him. You could easily say the alcohol helped by getting you both comfortable but at the same time drifted you apart once the alcohol was sucked up and put behind the two of you. You could tell it was killing him inside when you acted like what happened didn't at all. He wasn't going to stand for it.
Waiting for you to close the pool for the day you turned to see him leaning against his car, trying to walk past him you failed as he stepped in front of you "Did I do something wrong? I didn't push you, did I?". You didn't answer and just looked at your feet before backing up at him "That's not it at all I just...It's an awkward situation at the moment.". "How is it awkward? We had oral sex, exchanged numbers, and still text like normal," Anton added while following you to your car, it was no use as he watched you just start the engine and drive off. He was fuming, he felt like he just wasted his time. Getting in his car he went back to his place.
The rest of the week he was packing his things and pulling his hair out at the fact that he didn't know what went wrong. He also expected that once he tasted you that would be it but no, it was far from finished on his end. Putting the last few things in his bag he knew he was going to see you again; he could feel it. It was a gut feeling he knew he couldn't run away from. He wasn't going to run away either.
Putting the last shirt away in his suitcase we looked at the swimsuit bottoms you had worn, he washed them and kept them for himself because you agreed he could. Taking them in his hold he sighed before smelling your scent on them still, he chuckled at how mind-boggling it was that was still possible. "I'll never get over your smell". Whispering those few words to himself he then zipped his bag up. Leaving the house he began his drive back to campus.
Arriving, he was getting a new dormmate, not that it mattered, but he was intrigued. "You are again.", Anton turned to see Jake bringing his things in, rolling his eyes at Jake he went back to unpacking "Awe are you hurt that she left you behind?". Anton turned to him "She didn't leave me behind". Jake chuckled "But she did, Anton hates to spill the news so quickly but she came back with me...She's mine. Anton chuckled "Just because she came back with you doesn't mean she's yours.".
Anton had no care what Jake had to say because as Jake was blabbering, he got a text from you. A text that made it truly clear who you wanted, and it was him. Anton knew you'd miss him too much just like he missed you. Jake may think he won but like Anton kept telling himself...When it came to you, he was always going to win.
I'm in town, you should come by my roommate's place, she's gone.
#riize smut#riize hard hours#riize hard thoughts#anton smut#anton lee smut#riize anton smut#anton hard hours#anton hard thoughts#anton lee hard hours#anton lee hard thoughts#riize anton hard thoughts#riize anton hard hours#scruggles full fics
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What got you started on the anthropomorphic sharks as characters? I love them very much I just wish to learn the origin of this idea.
I'm delighted that you're interested in them!
They are part of a world belonging to a cosmology that I created several years ago with the intention of seeing how far I could go creatively with sharks, which could captivate people to get to know their reality through a good fantasy story.
There's a lot to tell, from events involving a dying ancestral presence that now lives on in the sharks' dreams to misadventures involving a human who has been chosen as the sharks' herald, and many things I still want to keep secret.
Everything culminates in this shark civilization, which will appear on Earth millions of years post-anthropocene, humanity resting in the deepest beds of the Earth, now only as a little-understood archaeological curiosity.
But a mysterious presence has influenced these shark inhabitants to follow a human-like line of civilization, because it's the only way known to work in creating a diversity of creativity, philosophy and life experiences, which is what an entity was looking for to heal its wounded soul.
So they only have buildings, cars and clothes like us because humanity existed at some point to inspire a kind of path. Otherwise, they would probably have evolved to be great wild beasts for a cosmic destiny.
The story ended up being too long to tell, with millions of years of distance from one plot to the next. There are things happening from tribalistic and medieval times to events in the distant technological and space future.
Then this world was born! It is in the "middle" of the history of this civilization, in a period very similar to humanity between 1980~2000. At first it was just an idea that came up when I did an illustration of these sharks of mine in a retro period, I liked the aesthetic so much that I started to explore it further and now it's become a story that I'm managing to converge everything I wanted to tell about them in just one story.
The three sharks in the band are just some of the protagonists who are part of this story that I want to tell at some point.
I'm sorry if I've written too much, I don't know how to summarize things and sorry if there are any anomalies in the English, I used a translator.
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