#i wish someone would get caught up with me
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THE PHOTO
Frankie Morales x f!reader || 580 words
Summary: you find Frankie’s photo.
Tw: none, fluff, young Frankie, insecure reader, pining, loveeeee
A/n: I needed some comfort so I wrote this little thing, inspired by the picture above. Hope you’ll like it<3 kisses to @milla-frenchy for beta-ing😘 dividers by @saradika-graphics
MASTERLIST || more Frankie
You’re looking at a photo of Frankie and soon tears well up in your eyes. Strong emotions overwhelm your heart and you take a deep breath and press your palm to your chest, trying to calm down.
Frankie and you were group mates in college. You saw each other almost every day but you tried to keep your distance, hiding a huge crush on the guy. Full of insecurities and fears all you dared to do was to steal glances at him here and there, but sometimes, when he wasn’t looking, you couldn’t help but stare.
During classes you would daydream about taking his cap off, running your fingers through his soft curls, hugging his broad shoulders, kissing his plush lips. He often chewed on his pencil, brows furrowed, gaze full of thought, and you were sure that it was the cutest thing in the world.
Whenever Frankie caught you looking at him, he would smile, and your cheeks would immediately heat up. You’d drop your eyes to the desk, frozen, trying to stop your heart from beating too loudly.
That smile of his, playful but never mocking, when directed at you, was a highlight of your day. Yet you were not the only one he smiled at, you thought, he was just friendly like that. You weren’t special.
Frankie was wonderful - kind, helpful, handsome. He’d never be with someone like you. You tried very hard not to idolise him but the nagging voice in your head always reminded you that you didn’t deserve him, weren’t worth his attention. You used to avert your eyes from his, as they were too piercing, too beautiful, they burnt you every time you felt them set on your face.
One day Frankie and you came to classes early and the hall was empty except for the two of you. He began chatting with you and you talked back, shyly at first, shaking like a little bunny inside. But the more you talked, the lighter you felt, and soon you were laughing at his jokes, looking him right in the eye. The fire that had scorched you before turned into the sun, warming and gentle, breathtakingly exciting but comforting at the same time. Your soul was singing when he was there with you and you thought that your heart was right when it had chosen him. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on your part but Frankie seemed upset when the other students joined you.
Lost in the memories, with the picture still in your hand, your eyelashes still wet, you don’t notice Frankie walking up to you until his strong arms wrap around your waist from behind and you feel his bearded chin rubbing the delicate skin at the crease of your neck. His naked chest is warming up your back like a furnace through your thin nightie and you happily sink into his embrace as he asks,
“What are you doing here, my love? You know I hate waking up alone.”
“Nothing. Just found this photo of you by accident. Look, you were so young and handsome.”
“And now I’m old and ugly, uh?” He grumbles with a fake annoyance in his voice and you giggle, turning around and throwing your arms around his neck.
“Well, maybe less young but as handsome as ever,” you whisper against his lips before giving him a soft kiss. Frankie hums with pleasure, hugging you tightly, and then parts from your mouth to gruff,
”C’mon, let’s get you back to bed, Mrs Morales.”
“Love when you call me that,” you purr and gasp when he lifts you in his arms and carries you to the bedroom.
Thank you for reading! Leave a comment and reblog if you enjoyed the story<3
MASTERLIST || more Frankie
Tag list: @milla-frenchy @harriedandharassed @iamasaddie @nervousmumbling @bbyanarchist @stevie75 @puduvallee @auteurdelabre @mountainsandmayhem @senoratess @flamingochick55 @theoraekenslover @schnarfer @mermaidgirl30 @staywildflowahchild @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @evolnoomym @keylimebeag @joelmillerisapunk @pascaltesfaye @fruityreads @itwasntimethatdidit40
#pedro pascal#frankie morales#frankie morales x reader#pedro pascal characters#fluff#frankie morales x you#triple frontier#frankie catfish morales#francisco morales#francisco morales x reader#pedro pascal fluff#frankie morales x f!reader#fanfiction#the photo fic
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sold out, one night only
for @corrodedcoffinfest popup event for Black Friday using 'one day night only'
rated m | 2980 words | cw: implied and referenced sexual content | tags: modern era, pop star steve, rock star eddie, semi-famous corroded coffin, exes to lovers, getting back together
🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
The poster is huge, takes up most of the board in the club announcing new events. It’s surprisingly simple for something so large.
‘One Night Only’ accompanied by a picture of Steve Harrington, recently out queer pop icon, and a date and time.
Tonight is the one night only.
Eddie stares at it, kind of wishes he didn’t feel like sobbing, and then books it out of the club.
If he’s gonna make it across town before Steve’s show is done, he’s gotta hope for the least amount of traffic he’s ever seen and a lot of luck. Maybe, if he’s really lucky, the show was delayed enough that he’s still on stage singing.
He manages to find an Uber only a block away, offers them a 50% tip if they can get him to the arena in less than five minutes, and leans his head back against the seat.
~~~~
Four years ago, when Steve followed Eddie and his band to Chicago, neither of them expected much to happen. Corroded Coffin was small town good, but they quickly found that they weren’t quite what record labels were looking for.
A small indie label from San Francisco was interested, though.
So they packed up and moved to California, and to celebrate the first recording session, they went to a karaoke bar and all took turns singing songs that you’d never expect them to.
Steve took a turn singing a Harry Styles song and it was game over.
The whole bar went silent until he was done, and then it was pandemonium as people rushed him as he got off the stage, telling him he should be famous, and that he had the voice of an angel, and that he should try to sign a record deal.
And Eddie knew he could sing; he’d heard him in the shower and the car plenty.
There was just something about seeing him on stage and knowing that Steve was meant for more that really cut into his heart and made him bleed out on that bar floor.
It was the beginning of the end for them that night.
Eddie pushed him away. Steve stopped fighting it.
Steve signed with a huge company out of New York and moved before Eddie even realized he ruined everything.
He hasn’t spoken to him since, not even the one time Dustin had to have surgery and requested everyone be back in Hawkins in case something went wrong. He was being dramatic about leg splints, but they did it anyway.
Eddie caught one glimpse of Steve walking out of the Henderson home the night that Dustin got to leave the hospital, but he didn’t stop him.
Corroded Coffin is big enough to do festival circuits, even playing on the main stage for some of them.
Steve Harrington is big enough to go to Grammy parties and duet with Sabrina Carpenter.
And Eddie is stupid enough to think he can get backstage to apologize to him for being dumb enough to let him walk away.
~~~~
When he arrives at the arena, he’s told he needs a ticket to enter. This is a fact he knew before getting here, but one he chose to ignore in hopes that he might be able to bribe someone with his romantic story.
Unfortunately, the middle aged man who reminds him a lot of Wayne couldn’t care less about his need to tell Steve he loves him.
“You and the 20,000 others in the audience, bud,” the man says. “No ticket, no entrance.”
“Okay, I know you probably hear this often, but I swear he knows me. He’d let me in,” Eddie explains, but the guy is somehow even less impressed. “Oh! Wait. I have proof.”
Eddie pulls out his phone and opens his photos. The album named ‘Stevie ♥️’ is still in his favorites, even though Robin made him promise he’d delete it after the last time she visited. He may have promised he would, but he never said when.
It’s hundreds of photos of them together, mostly selfies, personal pictures they took on dates or in bed or on their road trip or-
“I told you to delete those.”
Eddie spins around at Robin’s voice. She’s standing near the set of doors at the end of the long line of doors, two security guards flanking her.
“And I will. Eventually.” Eddie walks towards her, ignoring the man telling him he needs to leave.
“What are you doing here?” She asks even though she has to know.
She’s his friend even though she’s Steve’s platonic soulmate. She isn’t being mean on purpose. She’s just being protective of both of them.
“Robin…” he starts.
She holds up a hand. “If I take you backstage, will this be a one night only thing or a start to forever thing? Because honestly, I don’t think he can take seeing you if it’s only for you to leave right after. He’s barely-” She cuts herself off, eyes widening.
“He’s what?” Eddie pushes, needing to know what she was gonna say.
She sighs. He knew he’d get her to give in easily.
“He’s barely holding it together as it is,” she admits. “I had to bribe him to get on stage tonight.”
“Bribe him? For this show?”
“And the last dozen or so. He’s tired. He-” She sighs again, heavier. “He misses you.”
“If he misses me, then he should call. Or text. Send a carrier pigeon.” Eddie doesn’t mean for the words to bite, but he can’t help the way he feels and he knows he’s safe with Robin. She won’t take it personally or let him stew in it for too long. “It’s not like he doesn’t have access to me if he really wants it.”
“Eddie. You made it very clear you didn’t want to hear from him ever again.”
“I made it very clear that I loved him too much to hold him back. He was the one who pushed it to this,” Eddie tries.
He doesn’t succeed. Robin is shaking her head, laughing with disbelief.
“You two are made for each other. I’ll bring you backstage, but if I see a single tear shed in anything other than happiness, I’m calling Jeff and telling on you.”
Eddie can’t help but laugh. Calling Jeff isn’t quite the threat it used to be, not since Jeff got himself a very serious girlfriend who keeps him busy. Even if it was, Robin knows Jeff’s just gonna nod along, give Eddie a sad look, and move on.
He follows Robin through the door she came through, waving at the guard who was giving him a hard time– “he’s just doing his job, Eddie” – and feels his throat catch on his next breath when he can hear the beat of the music.
Steve’s pop rock sound isn’t necessarily Eddie’s favorite type of music, but he did stay up until midnight for the release of his debut album. It’s Steve. What’s he gonna do? Not listen to it?
His voice is just this side of raspy, like there’s a scratch of his throat when he hits the lower register his voice will allow. He almost sounds like when Eddie would-
“Alright. He’s got two songs left and an encore. Encore is usually just one song, but this is a special night so he may do a bonus from his new album. Don’t touch anything,” Robin sends him into the green room, waving off the security person who is standing at the door. “Don’t make me regret letting you in here. And don’t hurt yourself.”
“Jesus, Robbie, I’m not a child. I’m not gonna hurt myself-”
“I didn’t mean physically.” She gives him a sad look. “I care about you, too.”
Eddie’s shoulders fall as he breathes out. He didn’t realize how tense he’d been. Robin hugs him and moves to the door.
“I’ll make sure you guys have some privacy for a bit, but we do have a tight schedule. Security’s only here while the crew packs up,” she explains. Eddie nods. He knows the drill. He may not be an international pop star, but he deals with the ins and outs of venues often enough.
Robin leaves and the only sound is the bass thumping of Steve’s last song. Eddie looks around at how bare the room is. Usually, Corroded Coffin has to share a green room with a few other bands unless they pull off headlining the main stage. Those rooms are usually cluttered, crews and musicians constantly coming and going, leaving trash and guitar picks behind. The only thing in this room that would hint at Steve using it is a bag of half-eaten white cheddar popcorn on the table next to an empty water bottle and a mug of what looks like green tea.
Steve’s a big enough star to make absurd requests for backstage, but it’s clear he doesn’t. Eddie isn’t surprised. Steve’s never really been one to ask for things that would benefit him.
He hears the screaming, knows Steve’s just left the stage. He’s probably standing nearby, hiding behind curtains or stacks of speakers, maybe even in plain sight.
“Wait!” Robin’s voice is right outside the door.
The door opens.
Steve’s there, breathless, sweaty, hot as hell.
“Steve, you still have a song,” another woman in khakis and a polo shirt is rushing up to him, waving a clipboard in his face.
“Eddie.” Steve’s voice is rough when he speaks. Eddie can tell it’s more from emotion than the nearly two hour set list he just performed.
“Steve.” Eddie is waiting for Steve to move, for anyone to move. He can’t.
“Steve, you need to go back onstage.”
Eddie has his arms full of Steve before anyone can respond to the woman just trying to do her job. She looks like she’s a tech manager, but usually they wear all black, and Eddie doesn’t know all there is to know about an international superstar performing a concert even though he does know all there is to know about Steve.
He knows that he prefers earl gray tea with real sugar, not the green tea with honey that’s sitting on the coffee table. He knows that his favorite treats are the mini Kit Kats– “not the regular ones, they taste different, I swear!”-- not popcorn that gets stuck in his teeth for hours. He knows that he likes making places feel like home no matter how temporary he’s there, and there’s not a single item in this room that makes it feel lived in.
The woman seems to give up on getting Steve back on stage, and he’s pretty sure he has Robin to thank for it.
He has Steve in his arms for the first time in way too long. He isn’t wasting a second of it thinking about anyone else.
Steve’s sweat is soaking through Eddie’s shirt already, but he doesn’t really care. He used to love having Steve’s sweat on him; It meant he was doing something right.
He knows a reunion isn’t this easy, and any second now, Steve’s gonna pull away and yell at him, and they’ll fight and Eddie will let it happen because he deserves it and-
“I didn’t think you’d come,” Steve sobs against his neck, breath tickling his skin as his lips brush against him in an almost-kiss.
Suddenly, Eddie knows that Steve planned this. This whole sold out, one night only show was only so Eddie would come see him.
Eddie should be pissed.
Steve could have just fucking called him. Texted him. Sent a carrier pigeon!
But he’s got Steve in his arms and it’s always been pretty hard to be pissed at him when he’s pressed perfectly against his chest.
Robin is clearing the room and cursing Steve for making her clean up his messes, but Eddie can hear the fondness in her voice. She wouldn’t bother giving them time alone together if she didn’t want them to have it.
“Robin said I shouldn’t do it. She said you wouldn’t show.” Tears are falling from Steve’s eyes on Eddie's shirt. “I swore you would. She thought I was crazy.”
“You are crazy,” Eddie laughs, squeezing his arms to pull him in tighter. “Planning something this big in the hopes that I’d come to a pop concert is fucking insane, Stevie.”
“But you did.” Steve leans back and looks at him, watery smile enough to make Eddie feel like he could melt into the floor. “I knew you would.”
Eddie wants to kiss him, wants to ignore everything that went wrong and everything they need to talk about, wants to take Steve apart in this room and make it feel like home because Steve didn’t do that on his own. He doesn’t think he’s made any place feel like home in a long time.
“You put a lot of faith in a guy who let you go,” Eddie whispers.
“You showed up for a guy who left,” Steve says back.
“You only left because I pushed you away,” Eddie argues.
“You only pushed me away because you thought it was best for me,” Steve raises a brow, challenging him to keep going.
Eddie knows Steve has a response for everything, though. He’ll keep putting blame on himself the same way Eddie keeps putting it on himself, and they’ll go round and round and waste precious time that they could be doing other things. Instead of pushing, Eddie sighs and lets his shoulders drop.
“I’m sorry,” he says instead of arguing.
“I’m sorry, too,” Steve relaxes in his arms.
“We still have to talk, Stevie,” Eddie reminds him as he leans in, feels Steve’s breath against his lips.
“We will,” Steve barely gets out before their lips crash together, bruising and needy.
There’s a lot that Eddie missed about Steve. He’s spent countless hours harping over everything he messed up to himself, to Robin, to Wayne, to the band. Steve was forever going to be the one that got away.
“Can we…” Steve gasps against his mouth, hands grasping at every inch of Eddie that they can.
“What do you need?” Eddie wraps his fingers around Steve’s wrists to still him, to make him focus on what he wants.
“Just need you.”
It’s a cop out and they both know it, but Eddie’s fine with it tonight. If he has to be the one to take charge and assume what Steve wants, then he will. For tonight, he can give Steve what he wants to, and Steve will take it.
It’s a little anticlimactic when they come barely five minutes later. They don’t even get a chance to properly remove any clothing before they’re making a mess between them, moaning as if they can’t be heard.
As they come down, and Eddie manages to find a rag that may or may not have been used for other things already, Eddie sees Steve wipe his eyes.
He stops what he’s doing and drops the rag on the floor, pulling Steve close again.
“What’s wrong?” He asks because he can’t let Steve leave him again. Not this time.
“I just don’t want this to be one night only,” Steve cries.
“It won’t be, sweetheart,” Eddie assures him, brushing the fresh tears away as they fall. “We’re gonna figure out how to make it work. The band doesn’t have anything for the next few weeks, so we’ve got time, okay?”
“But I have to leave tomorrow. I have a GQ interview in London,” Steve pouts.
Eddie tries not to be distracted by his bitten-red lips, but they’re just so…biteable.
“I could go to London,” Eddie offers, only slightly joking.
Steve’s eyes light up. “You can?”
“I mean, I can definitely blow some of my savings to follow you around for a bit,” Eddie shrugs.
“As if I’d let you pay.” Steve’s beaming at him. “You really wanna come with me? Even though people will start spreading rumors and it’ll ruin your metal band image?”
“Baby, I’ll stand on that stage right now and scream to everyone who will listen that I’m yours.”
There’s still time to do that, too. Even though it can’t have been more than 20 minutes since Steve left the stage, he has no doubt that there are plenty of stragglers in the arena hoping for Steve to still come out and perform his encore.
“Some fans are kind of-”
“Crazy?” Steve nods. “That’s because you’re perfect. But they can’t have you, right? Not like I can.”
“No. Nobody gets to have me like you do.”
If Robin wasn’t banging on the door to warn them they only had five minutes, Eddie would be trying for another round. Maybe this time, he’d get his mouth on Steve instead of just his hand.
“I guess we should get to the car before fans figure out I’m still here,” Steve suggests. “And before Robin kills us both.”
“Imagine that news story,” Eddie laughs. “Best friend and manager of pop icon Steve Harrington charged with double homicide after seeing more dicks than she’s ever seen in her life.”
“Bold of you to assume she hasn’t seen mine,” Steve laughs as he pulls away. When he sees Eddie’s shocked face, he pats his cheek. “I sleep naked, babe. You knew that.”
Eddie’s face goes back to normal quickly. “Still? I thought that was just so I would-”
“I’m coming in!” Robin shouts as she opens the door. Steve turns away to finish buttoning his pants, but Eddie’s soft dick is right out in the open.
“Seriously?” Robin groans.
Eddie finishes making himself presentable and smirks. “You’ve seen what he’s got. You can’t blame me.”
“I can and I will. Car’s already surrounded, so. Hope you’re good with a hard launch.”
Eddie looks at Steve to check in. Steve gives him a nod.
“Blast off, I guess.”
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#robin buckley#corroded coffin fest#pop star steve harrington#rock star eddie munson#exes to lovers#getting back together
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Secrets Are For Grown Ups | Part 3
CW: Paperwork. I hate paperwork.
Shout out to the fabulous @xbirdiex. It's better than reading my words for the first time because she is so good at articulting to me how everything makes her feel.
Part 1 here.
John pulled off his glasses before rubbing his eyes so hard the kaleidoscope of colors blurred his vision for seconds after he blinked to clear them. He needed to retire. The years of being trapped at a desk and only let out for training had sapped him of the will to continue. He had given the greater good all that he could, but if one more file got sent to him as half digital half paper copy he would start launching things out the window or possibly set his office ablaze.
He had stayed longer than he should have again but the frozen dish of lasagna and beer at his flat did not entice him home. The trill of his ringing phone pulled him from his languorous thoughts. Number hadn’t been saved in his phone. Odd. The same tickle in his brain that saved him on countless missions twitched now. Answering it in silence he waited.
“Is this Captain Price?”
“Not a captain anymore, but this is Price. May I ask who is calling?”
The woman on the other end blew out a breath.
“I worked with you several years back on a visa from the US. I’m not sure if you remember me,” her tone indicated a question as she searched for more words.
John could only remember one such woman in his time as a captain. You popped into his mind in technicolor.
“I do remember. I haven’t heard from you since you left for your family emergency. Has something come up?”
He swore he could feel you vacillating on the other end of the line. You had been so painfully expressive in your communications the year you had worked for him. For you to call out of the blue after so many years, something had to be wrong.
“Yes. You could say that.” You blow out a slow breath before continuing. “This is a…a bit of a long story. Do you have a moment?”
Settling back into his office chair with a creak John gets more comfortable.
“For you, I can take all day.”
Leave had been approved fairly quickly. John had an overabundance of it that brass and the HR and accounting teams hounded him about taking. They all claimed it made their jobs harder if he let it build up so high. He could take off six months without putting a dent in his overall amount of leave. Also if he weren’t there to bitch about the paperwork brass would more likely pass it off to someone else.
Last-minute flights were a pain in the ass to schedule as well as to pay for but like everything else in his life money tended to pile up because he rarely had time to spend it. John packed the same way he would for a long mission, though this time he packed his good underwear. You had offered to let him stay with you after he provided the contact information for one Nyla MacTavish.
His phone rang as he zipped up his large suitcase. Glancing at the name John wished he had a cigar to add a hint of nicotine-laced clarity to his thoughts. Flicking open his phone with a thumb John lifted it to his ear.
“Been expecting your call.”
“That’s never a good way to start a conversation, John.”
“I agree. Now tell me what happened?”
“Did you know?” The quiet, pained question could bore through bone. Simon, one of his muppets, his strongest men, sounded on the point of tears.
“Not until a few hours ago,” pinching the phone between his ear and his shoulder John settled his wheeled luggage on the floor.
“Good,” Simon repeated it to himself as if confirming his belief in John stood strong. “I had to dose Johnny with part of an edible he didn’t know we had in the house. He wanted to break down her door for answers.”
The idea of Simon handing Johnny an innocuous candy or baked good to dose him into a stupor that wouldn’t lead to criminal charges caught John as funny.
“I think your husband is going to have something to say about that in the morning.”
Simon snorted, “Knowing him he is going to have a lot more than a single thing to say.”
“Mmm, you might be right.” John paused to lock his flat door behind him. “Give me twenty-four hours Simon. I am headed to the airport right now and out to you.”
“Did she invite you or are you coming to keep us in line?” Simon’s voice edged into Ghost territory.
“For your information, I was invited,” John replied, mock offended.
“You would have come anyway.”
John could hear the rolling of his eyes even across the line.
“Yes, but this way I get to meet your boys and don’t have to pay for a hotel.”
Simon sucked in a breath.
“Boys? We thought she had a boy and a girl.”
“Nope, she clearly referred to them as the boys or her boys.”
A wet cough cleared the phone line.
“Okay. Let us know when we can meet with her and discuss this all.” Simon sounded defeated, unmoored.
“Are you wanting her back?” John asked carefully as he stepped onto the street to wait for his cab.
“Not…not like before. Johnny and I are happy as we are, but if the boys are either of ours we both want to be involved. We deserve that much.”
John didn’t know if the word deserved had any place in this sticky of a situation but he let it slide. That would be for you to explain.
“I will see you in a day or so, Simon. Keep your husband on a short leash until I get there. We both know explosions from Johnny weren’t only from bombs.”
A light chuckle from Simon is the only warning before the call ends. John sighs through his nose as he tucks his phone away.
What a hell of a story this would turn out to be.
Secrets Masterlist | Masterlist
@love-kha1 @bdbdhshhs @persephone-kore-law @vmaxis @splaterparty0-0 @momowhoo @talia-the-gemini @redkarmakai @aethelwyneleigh27 @asexualbuthorny
#cod#fanfiction#cod x reader#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#soap cod#captain john price#lostintransit writing#lostintransit
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Snippet of future one shot
Pairing: Poly141 x female reader (maybe?) / Johnny MacTavish x female reader
cw: cheating, affair, Johnny runs away from home, swearing, Johnny's ex-girlfriend appears.
Words: (so far) 989
Johnny didn’t know where he was going. But he had to go away from all of them. He didn’t want to see any of them. Ever again if he had anything to do with it. The longer he spends away from you. The better it would be.
“I don’t want to hear your excuses because at the end of the day it’s all it is. Excuses, upon excuses. I hope you’re happy with yourself.”
Johnny didn’t know where he was going. But he had to go away from all of them. He didn’t want to see any of them. Ever again if he had anything to do with it. The longer he spent time away from you. The better it would be.
A mantra to keep himself from spinning out of control. His hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.
You saw his tinder profile go back up. Your heart dropped to your stomach, hoping it wasn't him. Your heart begged for it not to be him.
In Johnny's defence, he didn't know you knew them already. “I want a transfer out of task force 141.” He told Captain Price. It wasn't a request. It was a demand. He was demanding a transfer.
Price looked up at Johnny, he could feel the anger he had for him, Simon and Kyle radiating from Johnny. He didn't know Johnny could be so pointed, so harsh, so willing to leave them for some other team.
If looks could kill, price sworn he would be dead already.
Johnny wasn't dumb like you would have loved to call him behind his back. Demolitions, explosives, that doesn't scream dumb ass like you told everyone around you. Laughing at him behind his back like he wouldn't have caught you in the act with his team members.
He punched John Price over and over that night until he had to be dragged off. Which didn't stop him from punching Simon, the guy who pulled him off. Who knew such a short guy could hold so much anger?
When you saw him with his ex-girlfriend the next morning, what did you expect would happen? Did you really think he would crawl back to you on his hands and knees like some kind of dog? No.
He has more self-respect than that. Far more than you have ever given him.
Now that you see him crying into the shoulder of his ex-girlfriend. Her arms wrapped firmly around him as his sobs racked through his body.
Grim, his ex-girlfriend who he broke-up with because things weren't working out between them. They decided it was better to remain friends afterwards. He never told you because you never asked.
And because you never asked about her. You are about to lose your boyfriend for good.
In hindsight, you should have asked if had dated anyone prior to you. Too late now, isn't it? You got what you wanted from him, and now he's gone. You pushed him so far, he snapped. What kind of person does that to someone who wants to be with you?
Perhaps he didn't see it at first. Perhaps he only thought you were fussy about what kind of treatment you preferred to get from him.
So you listened in to their conversation, you couldn't help yourself, Part of you wanted to know.
“Sometimes you don't really know a person as much as you think.” She mused, her voice, rich and deep. Not quite deep as Simon's. But deep enough to feel like it scratched something deep in the back of your skull.
“I wish she would have just broken up with me. I don't know if I can go back there. I don't think I want to see her.” Johnny's breath hitches, swallowing down another sob building up again.
He didn't want to touch you, you would brush your hand against his, and he would flinch at your touch, pulling away from you completely.
“She's touching me more now. But I don't like it anymore. I mean, I used to. But now I don't. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Break up with her.”
You swallowed hard when you heard her answer.
Short. Straight to point. It didn't leave room to budge or for doubt to creep in.
“I can't break up with her with no place to stay afterwards. Everything is in her name. I forgot how much control I gave her. I don't think I'll be able to get out of this break up alive, let alone sane.” Johnny groaned, thinking about the next steps he wanted to take.
Grim pulled up in her Ford F-450 Super Duty, something Johnny felt rather intimidating because of how it looked. But right now it was a comforting sight. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty about his choice. But what else could he do? All his anger is dried up, and now he's just exhausted.
Grim put classical music on as they pulled out of the drive way to head to her home in Coventry. In the state where she used to live with him. The place where he could just exist without having to pretend to be someone else. Someone you liked to see more of because it meant you paid some form of attention to him.
Running away from his problems like his mother said he would. What else could he do? What more could he give?
He didn’t know what to do. So he turned to his ex-girlfriend like a drowning sailor yelling for help in the open seas. Where were you? Possibly in one of their beds. He didn’t care to know more than that.
He reactivated his tinder profile and put his notifications on ‘DO Not Disturb’. He didn’t want to hear anything from them or you.
When you came back into your apartment, all of his things were gone, and he was nowhere to be found.
#poly!141#Poly141#Poly141 x female reader#Poly141 x fem reader#Poly141 x f!reader#female reader#f! reader#fem reader#fanfic#fanfiction#fic#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#johnny soap mactavish#cod angst#Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish#Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish angst fic#poly!141 x reader#poly!141 x female reader#poly!141 x fem reader#poly!141 x f!reader#Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick x reader#Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick x female reader#Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick x fem reader#Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick x f!reader
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Sreedy!!!!! I finally caught up!!! Now, I need to figure out what to do in the meantime. Do you have any fanfic recs (or anyone else who may end up seeing this)? I'm in the Atla (Zukka), Voltron(Klance), Good Omens, One Piece(Zosan), Marauders(Jegulus), and MHA Fandom (so far). But I think I'm open to reading about anything. I'm not really into one shots, so I'm more of a anything over 50k word count. Thank you, and I also still am loving the story 💛
OMG YOURE SO CAUGHT UP IM SO HAPPY!! (Im also a huge one piece fan so im excited that you’re excited for this long ass fic haha luckily we don’t have tooooo much longer)
DO I HAVE ANY FANFIC RECS?!?! hahah oh yeah I do…. I’ll give you my longfic recs (They’re all atla I don’t read much other fic except random one shots)
first off all, war games by @lovelyelbowleech is so fucking good and long and even though I’m not caught up on the second installment I just know it’s so fucking good and you’re going to love it I promise trust me it’s amazing. War games is angsty and smart and fun you’ll be so happy! (& hurt)
also my new obsession the Mercy of Magpies by @ranilla-bean is soooo good I wanna scream about it all day and night. The world building is so extensive and delicious and then there’s a ton of amazing art that goes with it I swear it’s so good! I would recommend this one to anyone even if they aren’t in the fandom.
ok another long fic I enjoy WHICH IS ONE OF MY LONG TERM FAVES (I’ll catch up I swear I love love love you TAOB my wonderful first long zukka fic…) is the Art of Burning by @hella1975 I lost sleep reading this! The author also has fics for MHA!! Just check out her ao3 she’s an incredible author will rock your world I promise!!
DOG TEETH is the only not atla fic I’ve never read that I will recommend because again, @hella1975 poured a part of her soul in it so it’s good… and really really PAINFUL.
ONE OF THE FICS THAT INSPIRED LIAB is the one & ONLYYYYY: Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_wonderful_thought (if you know their tumblr let me know!!) SO SO SO GOOD!!! Prison zuko! Isolated being disturbed & sokka being persistent and just such a good story!! One of my first true fanfic loves.
another gem I adore is actually one inspired by liab it’s La’s Wrath by anon and even though I can’t tag them if they read this just know this dark and tantalizing fic really takes an interesting perspective at what would have happened if the boys died and angsty but fun spirit shenanigans began. I love it so much it’s honestly my comfort fic haha
anything by @a-witch-in-endor in just mind blowing but: this is a gift (it comes with a price) rocked my brain chemistry in a way that was wonderful and intelligent and AHHH SO GOOD!!
Boomerangs and Rainbows is another AMAZING fic by someone who’s tumblr I don’t know but will totally add if I find out their tumblr! It’s a great fic I haven’t read in a while but I remember LOVING IT!
those are the longer fics that are more of that darker kind of angsty themes but I will do a few honorable mentions haha!
(not)according to plan by birdyhands (sorry I don’t have hour tumblr) but it was my very first zukka fic and I just fell in love with the potential of their relationship haha. If home is a place ,where do I go? By @maaaxx it’s currently being rereleased but I had the pleasure of reading the first chapter and fuck it I love me some sassy hakoda!
The Things I Would Do (To Steal Time With You) is the definition of a good long fic!! This one is by @erisenyo & it’s honestly such a relaxing time. Now don’t get me wrong! there’s a lot of tension both political and emotional communication happening but no one’s getting tortured so it’s a good breath of fresh air! The chapters are filled with so much wonderful world building I’m such a sucker for a good fleshed out world! This should keep you busy for a while!!!!! I’m so thankful that you’ve given me a chance to shout out to some of my fave fics and authors I wish I could scream about more of them!!! you’re such an amazing reader, I’m so thankful to have someone like you who takes the time to share your thoughts on not just ao3 but tumblr as well. All of these authors would be so lucky to have you as a reader I hope you enjoy!!!!
#SERIOUSLY DRRRRRRR!!! I HATE SHARING YOU AHHHHH <333 :)#but yeah it took a lot of fucking work to get these links and shit so you should read them haha because like… they’re fucking good fics heh#Not that I’m telling you… but I’m hint hint nudge nudge#I have a wide variety of tastes and unfortunately I haven’t had the chance of reading MHA fics yet#I wanna flesh out the plot and world building for my fic before I get tainted by fandom tropes haha#I don’t know your other fandoms but PLEASE PLEASE EVERYONE LET DR SUE LOU KNOW MORE FICS!!!#All of these are so good I love them#Sorry if I offended anyone I swear I’m just trying to praise yall because you’re so amazing#These are my faves I’m sure I’m missing some I’m sure#Las wrath my beloved I want to roll around in your words#fanfic rec#sorry I did my best but there’s a lot of glorious words here for you to soak up#Again sorry if this was weird at all I’m doing my best ahhh!#Ask#Dr-sue-lou
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I’m so totally over this semester😭😭😭, between the interpersonal relationships and the academics I can’t handle it anymore
#god#please#let it be over already#im so#pissed#cant have shit in university#this has all taught me that no one really thinks about anyone else#everyone is caught up between themselves#i wish someone would get caught up with me#but oh well#maybe in another life#i dont need friends they disappoint me#its not a big deal but boy howdy does it sting
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You like Casey Jones a lot. What do you think of her being shipped with April?
Yes.
It's prob the only ship I care about in rise. I like to believe if the show had like 7 seasons then this is where we'd end up. Casey/April is a TMNT classic. And rise's version is enemies to lovers + GAY? My recipe for an OTP.
Having said that, I am a little weary of capril in the fandom simply bc Casey is a VERY underrated character, and I HARDLY see her but when I do, it's shipping art/fics (I will say this is changing). But I fear sometimes that people only like her to ship but don't care outside of her being with april. The fandom hasn't even scratched the surface with casey's character post show/movie and I'm more interested in exploring that rn than the romantic side of things.
#idk am i delusional for assuming this?#i just fear people get caught up too much in the romance that thats the only purpose the individual has#like how rise fandom treats usagi#he really only exists in the rise fandom to be someone (mostly leo)'s bf#prove me wrong#would you still care about usagi if he wasnt shipped with any turtle?#anyways my fear with casey#but i do love capril and i wish we got more of their dynamic in canon#you can bet any au i create that capril will be endgame#capril#thnx anon!#pixel replies
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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it's tuesday, and today, i am thinking about posting about completely random things. so who would let barton be an actually semi-good dad friend for once and let him teach their muse how to fish... then, have him be proud of them like this when they do catch something:
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#see he IS capable of not being a chaos gremlin. it just takes... getting him out into nature? idk LMAO ☠️#buttt just imagining barton really UPPING the shock factor when they catch something like ' OMG you caught a big one ' even if it actually-#a big fish is kind of oddly wholesome and funny at the same time. like i think i may actually like someee aspects of barton's-#personality dare i say because he CAN be encouraging when he wants to and barton is actually rather loyal to his friends so there's that#like he will NOT hesitate to kill someone for his friend if they have made it into his inner circle tbh. just say the magic words like-#'i just wish this person would leave me alone' and barton is going to take care of the problem for you boo <33 and MAYBE show your muse-#evidence that he killed them but JSJSJ let's not ruin the moment now / hj
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Maybe being a clone doesn't scare me because I had to recreate myself at one point in my life. When I was going through major depression (not like lol depression, but it was very bad), I reached a point where I could not differentiate myself from the depression. Depression seeped into every fiber of my being that I essentially lost everything that made me me. Changing for the better meant scrapping everything I knew. I had to start from scratch and build myself back up piece by piece. It was terrifying. Depression, as bad as it was, became a crutch I could always rely on. It was steady and consistent. It was everything I knew. To let it go meant venturing out into a world that I had no clue what was what anymore. I had to go on blind faith that I would make it through.
I've done it once I probably can do it again.
#rambles#i think that a lot of people that have had depressive episodes don't know how much worse major depression is#it's one thing to struggle with depression and another to be caught in the storm with no way out#i remember crying so much believing i was the worst person alive and didn't deserve to be loved#i remember wishing i was never born or hoping something would kill me in my sleep#i remember being absolutely starving barely having eaten in days but still being completely unable to eat#i remember crying forcing myself to stomach a few bites from an apple haha... took me more than an hour#it's so odd that it can make you feel so terrible yet you'll become codependent upon it#it's sticky like natto#can't get the slime off of you no matter how hard you try#until it becomes you#and it will *become* you#recreating yourself from that is such a task#in depression you'll lose what you're likes are... your dislikes... your hobbies... your beliefs... your values...#you lose essentially everything#you have to discover all of these things all over again#and then there's the fear that what if you come out of this as someone you can't even recognize?#this is why i'm so pushy when it comes to ppl with depression symptoms#pls just go to a doctor and get medicated#the more you leave it alone the greater the chance you'll end up like me#okay i shall finally sleep
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...
#u kno what i dont like? when i talk abt doing something completely bananas that i would absolutely do if i was even a little less socially#conscious and then whoever im talking to is like lol do it#idk maybe im just slightly distorted abt it but i have a compulsive need to do what ppl tell me to and i kno ppl would think i was real#weirf for doing the things so im just like. r u making fun of me? bc truely i cannot tell#like i dont have a good grasp on how well i read ppl. sometimes i think im ok at it. like i can deduce things from context clues#but if someone is not being clean then its fucking way over my head but idk sometimes i cant tell if im being made fun of#like u kno when u make someone laugh and ur like well i wasnt really trying to b funny. i was just saying whats in my head#so was that nervous laughter bc i said something kinda off the walls or was it laughter at my expense#again im probably just distortion bc my sister used to publicly call it out whenever i was being weird but idk#i just wish ppl said what they thought more. like dont say one thing to my face and then later text me something that indicates u were#thinking something entirely different in the moment. bc that's disorienting and it makes me think i can't trust my reading of ppl#i mean. it doesnt help that i dont look ppl in the face lol but whatever#i should sleep. i have jury duty tomorrow and i pray that i am not selected. tho it would force me to have a day off#bc im fucked up like that. no fun allowed. only work. and not enough sleep :-P#idk why im even thinking this?#i guess bc i was helping one of my lab mates with coding stuff and like idk ive spent way too long around him and i still dont#kno whats going on in his head. like idk hes not too bad but he also is very quick to jump on it when i do something wrong#like when i make a lil mistake i mean. and i think its in a teasing way but idk it feels weird. like he thinks hes caught me fucking up#and im like ...yea? i mean yea that was a dumb thing i did. or like yeah i cant spell or remember plant codes? idk maybe he just thinks#its funny. it doesnt upset me or anything. i just think its kinda weird and i dont get it so it puts me on edge#idk he says things sometimes and im like... ok ur star war5 options make me nervous abt the general opinions u hold but i dont kno how to#manipulate u into a revealing conversation. idk his not that bad just puts me on edge a lil and i have to b around him a lot so i sit here#man wtf is his deal? let me psychoanalyze u#unrelated
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life is wonderful, and i'm okay...
no, my trigger didn't just get flashed at me twice...
cause that be too nice...
#greglow speak#honestly... idk if a can say i'm okay with people having that hc anymore... like why the hell is a translation error so popular?!#i was okay with peeps having it but rn... i cannot take it anymore... i so have the urge to explode on them...#but i'm not a shit like that... ugh... so freaking frustrating😭😖😣#i wish it just didn't exist...#how big of a moron are you fucking scott?! did you really think playing charedes will get you the end result you wanted?!#it only resulted with confused creators and a stupid translation error...🤦🏻#can i enjoy my favourite character without him getting plastered with a dumb trigger that ruins him completely?! that's all i ask...😭#also... to the people who don't tag it... can you pls consider that someone is getting their sanity eaten...#like if you have a ship and it's gay/lesbian then tagging characters as gay/lesbian is not necessary...#but like something that doesn't get included in a ship tag should... is it too much to ask?#i'm sure i'm not the only one who would be happy to have their sanity preserved...#greglow glitch#i know one who doesn't tag has blocked me; thank god... but again it shows that they have it and worse don't even tag it on ao3 where#a tag for it exists and.... ugghhhhh....#if you would tag it i wouldn't have read yours and would not have even interracted with you and i'd be fine and wouldn't have my art i don'#want to reblog because of the association to said person.... and wouldn't have been caught up in reading your fics and then get hit#with a freaking hammer of a trigger... and now i'm scared to touch anyones fics bc it could happen again...#and i do not want to be disappointed i have read or have started reading a fic which has the trigger....#(sorry... i needed to get it off my chest... i know no one's going to read this; but i at least got it off of me...)#(now watch me interracting and getting excited over someone's fic again and then not be able to read it anymore...)
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okay. i am going to continue being stupid. and lowkey embarrassing. and a big stupid fucking idiot. i don’t know what’s wrong w me just ignore me forever okay? okay <3
#why why why why why why why why#i don’t even know what to say anymore my brain is going one thousand miles per hour and it’s all STUPID !!!!#why am i lowkey 24 years old a grown ass adult with literally the stupidest circumstantial crush rn#i don’t even wanna admit that’s what it is cause like. girl. why am i the worlds biggest idiot#i want to bash my head into a wall i don’t even know his name! i never spoke to the man! i know nothing! about him!!#im usually rlly good about not letting myself get all worked up over ppl i find attractive#but for some reason this feels out of my control. i’m trying to just like. get over it. but my brain just won’t stop being so FUCKING#stupid and it’s SO embarrassing!!#what i’m about to say is especially embarrassing to admit but like. idk what to do idk why this happening#i keep catching myself like. daydreaming abt what it would be like 2 hold his hand or give him a hug#i just wanna wrap my arms around his neck and feel his hands on my waist and i dont!! know where this is coming from!!!!!!!!#i wish i could spray my brain with a water bottle every time this happens because frankly this is just getting ridiculous#we are not gonna marry the man! we never spoke to him! we’re never going to see him again for the rest of our lives okay!!#get it together dumbass. so we saw a beautiful boy at a wedding reception and became enamored with his mannerisms so what who cares#it doesn’t matter u know! so what if it was attractive how he sat with his leg propped up while he looked at his camera#or how u caught him buttoning and unbuttoning his little jacket over and over. or the way he leaned against the wall to watch the crowd#or his stupid dumb cute lil smile or how the few times you accidentally made eye contact w him ur heart went all pap pap and shit#it was just a fleeting moment! who gives a shit!! get over it!!#god. it’s especially embarrassing cause i’m here obsessed w the man still desperately wishing i could talk to him and idk learn everything#about him. and i know damn well to him i was just some creepy girl who wouldn’t stop staring at him. he probably thinks im like. plotting#his death or something. i’m not. but i should probably plot my own if i don’t get over this soon#idk idk idk i literally don’t know why this is happening!#we’ve seen hot ppl before why is this different! god!!!!!!!#i haven’t felt this way abt someone in such a long time#and it’s just frustrating knowing just how stupid i am sitting here like this#cause i know he doesn’t care. he doesn’t know me. and that’s fine! idk why my brain is doing this!#whats wrong w me genuinely. i can’t control what’s happening is so fucking weird#i truly feel like im going insane i can’t make sense of why this is happening to me#stupid stupid stupid stupid SO embarrassing idk idk#snow.txt
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Well, I seem to have gotten my minecart system working. No lost carts this time
Just... slowed the whole system way way way down, after a lot of research the best answer seems to be that too many carts too quick overwhelms the hopper, and taking a closer look as I was dismantling things showed me that the observer was managing to send two pulses
So I added my go to comparator decay clock and then with a little work put a falling edge monostable circuit (ie a piston with an observer on it that triggers nothing when pushed but something when pulled back), so basically it's extended when the signal is decaying and only goes off once the signal dies... double pulse from the observer just extends the timer
Still reasonably depressed. I've said it before, I'm just brittle at this point. It's not like some stupid cart system in minecraft is making me want to die... I'm just fucking tired of living, so guess what? This just adds to the list of reasons to fuck off
Nothing I do matters. This doesn't matter in the slightest. I build it more compulsively than with any purpose
I want to finish that mountain base (which is still probably a few years off at least at this pace), and I just kinda want to finish it cause I want to finish it... but can you honestly say that once it's all said and done, that I won't just pass it to my friend who I play with, and then in like 20 years when I'm dead it won't fall victim to digital decay without anyone even having seen it?
Like be honest for a minute, it's not gonna stop me working on it, but be honest and ask yourself... will anyone besides one other person even see it?
I don't need a million fans or something, I'd just like some of the shit I do to matter or last a bit... and nothing does
Tell me a single thing I've done that actually has some kind of meaningful impact... or anything that I'll ever do
#mm minecraft#this tag isn't really meant for me to be morose in; but truthfully minecraft reflects back a lot of my real world issues#mm tag so i can find things later#redstone reflecting back how painful it is for me to wing it and teach myself something I don't know#the trouble building reflecting back how hard it is to gather my thoughts enough to act instead of getting decision paralysis#so it's not really the place for it; but I'll just add that one of the things that eats at me is that no one will ever love me#everyone likes me; I'm polite and people mistake that for kindness; it's rare for people not to like me#but no one's ever going to love me... frankly no one's going to have me around unless I'm making myself useful#the second I stop being useful people stop talking until the next time they need something#...it's not intentional... I think people are just busy and get caught up in their own lives#but I could give probably 50 examples easy off the top of my head#if I'm not actively maintaining a conversation; then it dies (not like I don't let conversations drop myself... not like I always respond)#I'm not really mad... just alone#maybe I manage to teach out of my basement; give other people what I wish I had now#I'll be lost in a crowd; surrounded by people who like me (and how useful I am) and then alone at night forever till I die#so why wait?#I'd ask 'does that makes sense?' but lets be honest; there's no one here in the tags with me#most of what I say just goes into the void and... honestly... I don't think the void stares back... I think it's just me; empty; alone#...don't take this as me being perfect and put upon by my inferior friends and acquaintances#I like people; they care; they do their best and are just... kinda bad at it; but they care#and I constantly fall short; most of this must be my own making; and I certainly often lack the words to support people#but... is there a scrap of... of reason in what I'm saying? can people care but never be there unless they need something?#or unless I'm keeping the conversation going?#I liaise and get someone into a friend group for support... it's not like I get an invitation to join too#and certainly it's true I didn't ask and no one's mind readers; I told you it's my own creation... and would I even have things in common?#but it's the... never really asking; you know?#I listen to very interesting things from my friend all day; but when I say something... it just gets ignored#I'm suicidal on a trip that... I still kinda don't know why I was asked to come visit...#but I'm suicidal there; and the support I get is asking me to pray... I'm miserable and worthless; so you'll convert me?#(save me; I know; give me the spiritual tonic; I get it... it was meant in earnest to help... but do you get my perspective?)
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The fact that the one that have shown most care and concern about me lately is an guy I haven't kept contact with for a year is :( damn
#miranda talking shit#Me: i need to spend time with people I love to feel better!#Me: tries that. Also me: gets shut down. Me: ok ill isolate instead#I will rather be caught dead than say I need peoples attention but man#We are not doing good bestie ♥#Its understandable I guess. Since I told everyone that matters that I'm changing antidepressants#Which means... Basically hi I'm going to be suicidal for the rest of the summer ♥ help me ♥#But only one guy was like oh shit tell me more what can I do? Here have some cat videos#At least I'm not suprised bc I always assume I come second if I'm extremely lucky but usually like 7th in everyone's life (or worse)#Just... Wish someone would be like hey what's up. Want to talk? Should be do something?#Bc I' feel like I'm always bothering people for attention normally#Everyone's busy with their life shut your trout hoe but I can always wish and dream#My bday coming up too and I'm like... Id kill to have someone take me somewhere or just spend time with me#Moving away from home just realized how lonely I am. I'm always lonely. I'm tired of it#Negative
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the version of the penumbra podcast (juno steel plotline) that lives inside my head is soooo good. in fact so much so that I can barely tell anymore whether the penumbra podcast that's outside my head is good or not.
#wish I could find someone to talk with about this podcast who is also insane about it but would enjoy being critical of it#society if the entire main plotline of s4 was replaced with something relevant to the journal flashbacks#and nureyev was slowly revealed as an unreliable narrator in those I can't believe he wasn't it doesn't even make senseeee#but I did pace around for 20 minutes after getting caught up on s5 today. so it's still got something that gets me that way.
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