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seidenbros · 3 years ago

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Hello! Saw your link to the drabble prompt list, and there are so many good ones there! Are you still taking those? Could you go for Geraskier with any of: “Please don’t do this.”, OR “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”, OR “I wish I could hate you.”? Your pick ;) Thanks ahead!

Thank you so so much for sending these, and YES I love these drabbles, especially because I end up writing somethign at least a little shorter than I usually tend to do. I decided to go for "Please don't do this" and "I wish I could hate you" all in one, because it fit so perfectly together. I might do the other one later on as well, because they are so mich fun to write

(Taken from this list and here are some other prompts, but feel free to request anything <3)

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff Word Count: 1413

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He'd had enough. Jaskier couldn't stay here anymore, couldn't take more of Geralt's self-destructive behaviour in order to feel something. He'd told Jaskier that he needed to feel something, that he was lost, that the only time when he really felt alive was when he was fighting monsters, physically draining his own body. Every time Jaskier had stitched him up, had taken care of his injuries, but he'd also pleaded with the Witcher to be more careful. He wouldn't feel alive anymore of one of the monsters managed to kill him because he wasn't careful enough.

Last night had absolutely taken the cake. Geralt had barely made it out alive. Jaskier had managed to get him to a healer, had helped as much as he could, but it had been painful for the Bard. Gods, he'd loved that man for years now, had never said a word, because he hadn't wanted to destroy their friendship, but by now... he couldn't take that anymore. If Geralt wanted to get himself killed, Jaskier wouldn't stop him anymore, but he would also not stay by his side and watch him do that. He couldn't. It broke his heart to see his friend, the man he loved like this, so for his own safety, he had to leave, had to take a different path. Throughout the night, he'd had lots of time to think about it, to weigh the pros and cons, but with Geralt behaving this way, there was nothing positive in staying with the Witcher, even if the thought of leaving already made Jaskier weary. But he'd tried to talk to him, to tell him that he needed to stop, but Geralt hadn't listened.

In a way, Jaskier understood Geralt's behaviour, because he'd wanted to feel alive as well, which had been his reason to leave Oxenfurt. So, he'd ended up with a Witcher, which meant getting in danger on the one hand, but on the other, he also had someone around who knew how to deal with every kind of creature.

Jaskier had stayed up to watch over Geralt, make sure that he was alright, until he woke up in the eraly morning hours. The Witcher stirred, slowly opened his eyes and found Jaskier's. Immediately, a smile spread across his face, relief flooded his body, because his Bard was here.

“Jaskier,” he started, voice hoarse from sleep and a dry throat which was why the bard handed him some water.

“Good, you're awake. That means, I can go now.” Jaskier got up from where he was sitting. If he stayed any longer, he knew that he wouldn't go though with his plan, that Geralt would do or say something that made him stay in the end, but that would only lead to more pain, wouldn't it?

“What do you mean?” Geralt asked, slowly, carefully sitting up so that he could lean his back against the headboard of the bed, eyes intently on Jaskier. Did he have to be somewhere? Was he supposed to be on stage somewhere? Not likely at this time of day, that was for sure.

“I'm going home. I'm sick and tired of watching your trying to get yourself killed and DON'T tell me that's not what's happening.” Jaskier didn't let him speak up, even though he knew, could see that Geralt wanted to protest. The bard was tired, worn out, and couldn't deal with worrying about the man he loved all the time. Right now, he had to think about his own well-being, even if that meant leaving Geralt behind.

“Please don't do this,” Geralt said, wrapping his hand around Jaskier's wrist when the bard tried to walk away. He couldn't let Jaskier go, couldn't let his best friend just leave him, when he was the only thing that still somehow made sense in his life. Geralt didn't even know how it had happened, but Jaskier had turned from annoying little singer to the person that held his heart. But he could never expect Jaskier to love him, because who could ever love a Witcher? He'd heard it more than enough, but Jaskier had stayed by his side as a friend, and if he couldn't have Jaskier's heart, he wanted to keep him as a friend.

Jaskier stilled, he laughed to himself, because he'd known that, had known that if Geralt got the chance to say anything, he'd think about his own plans again. “You know...” he started, shaking his head, Geralt's hand still wrapped around his wrist, not letting him go. “I wish I could hate you, then I would actually be able to leave and not care about what happens to you.”

Right now, though, Jaskier only hated himself for loving the Witcher so much, for not being able to walk out on him, when it was the healthy thing for him to do, to keep his own sanity.

“I'm sorry, Jaskier...” Geralt loosened his grip on the Bard's wrist and instead took his hand in his own. “You can hate me. Hate me all you want, I deserved that!”

“No you don't. I could never hate you.” Jaskier heaved a sigh, looking down at their joined hands. “But I hate myself for loving you.”

“What?”

Oh... Oh... he'd really said that out loud. Melitele help him, because that was not what he'd wanted to say to Geralt. Right now, he wanted to get away even more than he'd done before. All these years, he hadn't said a thing, and now, he blurted it out like it was the most normal thing in the world. All the more reason to get away, but there was no chance, as Geralt's grip on his hand tighetened.

All of a sudden, he felt himself being pulled towards the Witcher, onto the bed and into Geralt's embrace. The Witcher winced because of Jaskier's body hitting his chest, the injuries there still fresh.

“What are you doing?” Jaskier asked, heart beating rapidly in his chest. He stayed completely still, not knowing what to make out of this behaviour, but Geralt didn't say a word. Instead, he ran his right hand along Jaskier's back, places the left one on the Bard's cheek. Jaskier swallowed hard, but then Geralt turned his face towards him so that he had to look at the Witcher – and then his lips were on Jaskier's. Soft, but still demanding, his tongue urging Jaskier's lips to open up for him, and he complied. A shiver ran down his spine, the kiss making his head spin. Was he imagining things? Head HE hit his head instead of Geralt? This couldn't be happening, could it?

Oh, but it felt all too real! The soft stroke of Geralt's thumb against his cheek, the Witcher's warm skin beneath his own fingers as they connected with his broad shoulders... This was happening, it wasn't just a dream. Jaskier eventually broke the kiss to gasp for air. Eyes only halfway open, he looked at the Witcher before him. His Witcher, who now opened his eyes and looked straight into Jaskier's.

“What-” Jaskier started, but he was cut short by Geralt with words he'd never expected to hear from him.

“I love you, Jaskier.” Slowly, a smile spread across the Witcher's lips, something Jaskier hadn't seen in a very long time, and it filled his heart with happiness. “I just... never thought you could love me.”

“Oh Geralt...” Jaskier sighed, framing the Witcher's face with both his hands. “I've loved you for years. Believe me, if I had a say in this, I would have fallen for someone else and not for my best friend.” The Bard shrugged his shoulders, a smile spreading on his face. “Yet, here we are.”

“So... does that mean, you're not leaving?” There was something desperate, something scared in the Witcher's voice that Jaskier had never heard before, and it touched his heart even more.

“If you promise not to be so reckless anymore... then I'm staying.”

“Promise!” Geralt didn't miss a beat to answer him, to make him realise that he was serious about this. “I've got someone who makes me feel alive by my side, and I don't want to lose him.”

Jaskier's heart skipped another beat when he heard these words, so he leaned forward to touch his lips to Geralt's again, and he wasn't going to stop with that so soon.

#bloodbuzz-smartypants #asks #staffi writes #the witcher imagine #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fic #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #geraskier #geraskier fic #geraskier imagine #geraskier fanfiction #geralt of rivia #jaskier #jaskier the bard #the witcher drabble

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fideidefenswhore · 3 years ago

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A lot of asks on here are like which of the wives do you think Henry really loved, and ik you're a Henry blog but I thought I'd ask you somethign different. Which of the wives, if any, do you think loved Henry?

oh this is very interesting, tysm.

KofA:

She loved him, but also to a certain extent saw him as a means to an end, or the answer to her destiny, rather. I also think that by the mid 1510s and maybe the early 1520s (and maybe a flavor of this in her outrage in the late 1520s, too), though, that she pedestaled him a fair amount, which can't, in the end, sustain actual genuine love... idealizing someone is basically only setting them up to disappoint you (Henry would later do this with AB). By the mid 1530s I believe her "love" for him was more for her own memory of him, she couldn't "love" the schismatic Henry (last letter aside, given she was actively petitioning his excommunication, I think that's fair?)

AB:

Loved him, but probably the same as means to an end, especially in the beginning. 'Means to an end' in the beginning was probably hoping his affection for her would lead to arranging a marriage, then it was to become Queen. I don't think she expected herself to become so invested in whether or not his love for her remained the same, Tudors was probably not far off in that. It's difficult to extract a sense of what her responses to Henry's letters were (less known: his first known letter is a response to her own); but my sense is that her idea of him/feelings for him changed over time (so, this would contrast KofA... Anne probably had more love for the 'schismatic Henry' and wouldn't have seen past Henry as idealized, but rather the opposite, whatever the opposite of rose-colored glasses would be: as unenlightened, uninspired, stagnant/stuck)

As for her last weeks, the "to me, ever a good, gentle, sovereign lord" quote is controversial, but I don't think it was 'sarcastic', I think it was twisting the knife-- he had been, he wasn't any longer. She knew her words would be reported back to him; and maybe hoped that his memories of that time in which he was would translate to protection of their daughter and her other surviving family. Tl; dr I don't think she loved him anymore in those last weeks, but I don't think she wished him dead-- if only because of the instability that would bring Elizabeth.

JS:

Admired/awed by him and (understandably, particularly by 1537) likely eventually feared him, but I don't get the sense that she loved him, no (not that I blame her). Means to an end as well, seemed to genuinely believe her influence was going to be greater than it was, I can only imagine Henry was really building her up and idealizing her future/position and then pulled the rug out from under her pretty damn fast... that or she confused an affectionate, accomodating demeanour in private/on personal matters with a belief that it would translate to a fair amount of political influence on/with Henry (but tbf, if she had witnessed this with her predecessor, of course she would think that would apply to her as Queen, too).

Anne of Cleves:

Also controversial, but loved him? Maybe not "in love" with him but came to love him even if slightly un-exalted reverence (third/fourth premier lady in England, yes?) had not been part of the initial deal, I think her feelings for him evolved into an amicable sort of love, at the very least.

Katherine Howard:

Also admired/awed (hm, weird callback, but feels right), probably didn't love (again, don't blame her), but in contrast to JS, I think was more effusively affectionate towards Henry (probably just mirroring back what he was putting out, though) and did genuinely care for him.

I don't think she feared him until her arrest which is kind of sad... the multiple intercessions don't suggest that. I think she feared him abandoning her, seemed to believe the rumors he might remarry her predecessor, was panicked when he was ill for so long, etc.

Katherine Parr:

Would have the most reason to fear him, but didn't seem to until her own danger? This is a weird pattern with the later wives, I don't think they were stupid or anything, but I think people are wired to believe that if they make all the right choices and do all the right things that nothing bad will happen to them. It explains Jane's complete faith in her attempted intercession and Anne of Cleves' belief that KH was just a mistress and Katherine Howard's seeming faith in her husband.

I think means to an end as well, probably not love (again, can't blame her); I believe she was maybe hoping she would be Edward VI's (de facto, maybe) regent. I believe she respected him but I don’t get the sense that she was particularly affectionate towards him.

#anon #sorry for the ensuing snarky tag: not directed at you but i have some lurkers. so #pls do not argue with me about how you know this is incorrect bcus you personally communed with the spirits of these six women or whatever #this is literally just my opinion #also in case you are illiterate i am not suggesting that kofa did the same thing to henry that henry did to AB BEYOND the act of #idealizing your romantic partner and how eventually detrimental that is. ANYWAYS

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exfriends · 3 years ago

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i'm in the process of buying a house and my family is doing literally everything they can to make this whole process somethign that makes me want to vomit day in and day out. its already difficult for me. i hate transitioning. i hate change. but i love this place. i want it so bad. but they just are ripping it apart and i want to just like it because i like it but i can't separate their never ending criticism of it and it makes me want to scream "how was i supposed to know anything of what you are saying, i am doing this alone and none of you have even bought property before" because this market is so crazy and they just dont believe that if you go in under asking you wont get accepted and that you have to wave contingencies to get somewhere because its a sellers market. i dont want anyones help. i wish i never told anyone i was doing this. i wish i never even started, even though i'm losing so much more money renting this shithole than i'd ever lose if i just had my own place.

i feel so stupid but i just want someone to tell me i'm doing okay. my fiance doesn't understand any of this process, he trusts me to make every single decision and i know that if i asked him for help he would help but i cant watch him flounder when i'm the one that's figuring out how to meet all these deadlines

my lawyer was supposed to call me five minutes agao and im having a panic attack because i dont know why shes late or if i was supposd to call her

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starsmuserainbow · 4 years ago

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[[ Before I start: This is based on my headcanons. It is in no way founded with any kind of canon or something, and the date is also (mostly randomly) chosen by me. ]]

Today, on the 11th of July, is when the tamaranean festival named Firrtin’z takes place!

What is Firrtin’z, you ask? It is the tamaranean festival of a competitive thinking. Competing against someone, be it in a friendly way or a ‘serious’ one, can raise the spirits and brighten the mood, no matter if one is on the winning side or not. Which is why this celebration exists. Not that this is the only day to compete if one wishes to do so more often, but this celebration is held so that at least once every now and then (or every year, to be more precise), the aforementioned advantages are actually given to everyone. Of course, there are people that do not celebrate it, but on Tamaran it is a big event and there is no real way to ‘escape’ the competing unless you lock yourself up all on your own for the day.

How is it celebrated? The person celebrating it will do all they can to challenge anyone they meet during the day to a competition. Which would include a continuous asking for the other to agree, a following of them through wherever they need to go during the day, basically anything that’s not causing the other person harm is alright to pursue in order to actually get to competing with them. The matter of the competition is not set, it can be anything where one can be ‘better’ than the other, and it will usually be discussed with the other what kind of competition will be done.

What does this mean for your blog? Well, I likely won’t be approaching people for celebrating it, unless you've liked that post of mine that I'll reblog a few more times today. But I will make (or maybe simply reblog from last year) some opens for the festivity, at least on those of my tamaraneans that would/will openly celebrate it. Please also see this as an open invitation to have your muse come to my askbox (or tag me in a post if you prefer) and show the wish to celebrate Firrtin’z with my tamaraneans (or if your muse doesn’t know about the festivity yet but you want them to participate, simply happen to come by today; at least some of my tamaraneans will be most happy to explain about the celebration then).

I’d prefer it if there is a sort-of logical explanation for why your character knows of the tamaranean festival. - If they have any kind of relationship with Starfire (maybe except enemies), it makes sense that she could have explained, or at least mentioned, the festivity and its date in some talk they had “off-screen” (or even in a RP). - Blackfire would never talk much about her home planet or the festivals there though, and neither is she actually into celebrating them, so it’s highly unlikely you would learn about it from her (and you’d need to strongly convince her if you want to celebrate it with her), and - Wildfire has been told of the date, but he doesn’t really enjoy the concept of competing, nor does he remember too much of the festival from home, so the only reason for him participating (after hearing stories about it from Starfire) is that he feels obliged to honor the traditions of his home. - Galfore lives on Tamaran, so obviously he is participating, and he enjoys it a lot too; - Moonshot very much honors all tamaranean traditions, so he will be very set on celebrating this with anyone he comes across during the day, whereas - Starlight isn’t really aware that it is today. If someone would let her know though, she might participate, though only if it's actually somethign she would be interested in outside of the celebration too; she doesn't really value the tamaranean festivities much

There are of course other ways your muses could have learned about it, and I’m open to those. But if e.g. an ‘ordinary human’ with no previous contact to anything alien related whatsoever suddenly knows of Firrtin’z I just don’t think I could enjoy it that much.

Oh, and one more thing! This celebration also means that I will try to focus on that. Not entirely, I will see to get at least some other replies done too, but my focus on such a day will be on asks/replies/threads about the “holiday” that currently is. And for the next week or so, Firrtin’z-related threads will be handled prioritized over others.

I think that’s all I need to explain; if there are any questions, always feel free to come into my inbox and ask me! All the threads or (IC-)posts related to Firrtin’z will be tagged with: #Let’s see who wins; when celebrating Firrtin’z!

#✫ Out of Clurblopf ✫ | OOC #✫ Many blessings friend! ✫ | Tamaranean Festivities #Let’s see who wins; when celebrating Firrtin’z!

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cookiedoughmeagain · 4 years ago

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Haven DVD Commentaries; 5.22 - A Matter of Time

Commentary with Joshua Brandon (writer for the last episode), Brain Millikin (writer for this episode) and Colin Ferguson (who plays William and directed 5.20)

BM: This was written really as one big two hour episode with 5.21. We did that a bunch of times this year and I think it does feel that way. In a perfect world they would have maybe aired in a two hour block, because this is the most two-partery episode we’ve done all season long. CF: It does feel that way. And I like how in this episode, in every plot line there is someone who’s stuck. Stuck in the fence, stuck in the cave and stuck to a chair. BM: Yes, well that was an edict going into this episode, we needed this one particularly to be a bottle episode. Which for those who are unaware, that is when you spend as much as possible, if not the entire time shooting the episode, on your stage. We typically do it to save time, maybe save some money. Or you’re just gearing up for a bigger episode down the road. It can be a challenge, because on the one hand you’ve just got a lot of people stuck in a room. But the opportunity is really high for some longer stronger scenes and interactions between the characters. It becomes a bit more like a play than an epiosde of a TV show. CF: And when you’re a guest star coming in, your job as a supporting actor is to support the other actors. Now at this point in the season, 21 episodes in, Lucas is tired, Emily is tired, everyone’s just burnt. So I come in and I have to know my lines, and we ended up shooting all of my coverage for the epiosde in about an hour and a half at the tail end of one day. JB: Wow. CF: Anything in this direction [the camera facing towards William in the cave] we did in about an hour and a half, because we spent so much time the other way, with the thinny when it appears and all the other stuff that’s happening. There’s so much more movement there that took the lion’s share. And then turn around and hose down Colin. BM: That is unbelievable. Because that’s like ten pages of dialogue! CF: It was a lot BM: Oh my gosh.

BM: I can’t go any further without giving props to Steven Wright our costume designer - I love Emily’s coat. Emily has had exceptional coat game over the course of the series.

[As Audrey and Duke discover Hailie stuck in the fence] CF: Wow! That’s disgusting when you see it there BM: You know, that was somethign that we talked about for a long time. Number one, in the bottle episode way that we had to shape this, we knew that although we had all these outdoor scenes that we needed to keep them contained pretty much to one place. So that we could shoot as quickly as possible. But at the same time we had the season laid out and we knew the tent poles of the story that we had to hit. We knew by the end of this episode that Duke needed to kill her and take her Trouble, and it was going to be a big deal that he would be taking a Trouble now sort of willingly, to use it. And that was going to start him on a much darker path for the rest of the season. So we just needed to try and dramatise that as best as possible. And it just made sense, given how we had already set up Hailie’s mom dying in the same way - becuase all Troubles have a down side, and hers gave out on her at the exact time she needed it most, when she was passing through a fence. So we were watching a cut of that episode [about Barbara] and we figured the same thing should happen with Hailie. And it winds up telling a story about repeating what’s happened before. The sins of the father, destiny, all that stuff. CF: And a great performance by Tamara [as Hailie] too. That sort of squeal that she had there was not over done. It was gross. JB: She was great. And right from the beginning when she was cast in 5.15, as soon as they started seeing the dailies come in, we were all thinking that if there was a way to bring her back then we should, because she was really terrific. BM: Yes and she did not have an easy job on this one. She spent an entire day standing in this - I think painful - rig, with that fence going half into her. And she couldn’t move. CF: And the issue with that is you can’t go to the bathroom. Or, you can but it’s a time suck, you know if it takes 20 minutes to get out of the thing and 20 minutes to get back in again. BM: Yeah. But the fence was also sort of a practical thing, in that we needed her to be in a situation where she’s probably going to die, but where we could still talk to her. So she couldn’t be cut in half or something. So the fence was just kind of, logical really. And we had looked into some real life accidents where people have been impaled and this idea that the shock means you don’t really feel it, at least for a little while - and that was important because she needed to be able to have a conversation and not just be screaming in pain. JB: And also knife victims; leaving the knife in can prevent you from bleeding out. CF: By the way that fence was built by production, it was not an existing part of the location.

[Dave about to get hypnotised] BM: So this side of the story was probably the most important one. This was the other big tent pole that we knew coming into this was that this was going to be John [who plays Dave] Dunsworth’s last episode. John is fantastic, but we were losing him to another show already, and we had always intended that as we got towards the end game of the season that we would see some of our characters lose their lives. It just felt that with the stakes as high as they are, it wouldn’t really be realistic that everyone would make it through. So it just made sense given the story we were telling, that it would be Dave. But we had some problems because we knew that he was going to be tied up for the whole episode. Because it’s a bottle episode but also because last time we left him untied up he started killing people. So we needed our other characters to be smart enough to tie him up, but we also needed him to have a story that took him beyond just sitting there. So that’s where this whole ‘mind palace’ experience wound up coming from. And the same thing with what’s happening here [Vince and Dwight realising they’ve lost time]. We’d never really leaned into the lost time of it all, it happened on a couple of occasions, but knowing that we were going to dispatch with it this episode, we figured this should be one where we really kind of go crazy with some lost time stuff. I think it wound up really working well, because it gave Adam and Richard [as Dwight and Vince] a lot to play with. Again, as a bottle episode, just standing in the room.

CF: That wide shot of the cave is amazing; it makes the room look significantly bigger than it actually is. That first shot that started the scene. The room was not that big, it was probably only maybe 20 feet square. BM: Wow. You two were terrific in these scene. I wish we could have done more. But we knew we only had you for two episodes CF: Yes, I was contractually on other things before and after BM: Yeah, so we knew where we were going with Nathan and William throughout. We all really liked William, and sort of understood where he was coming from, in a good way. I think all good Bad Guys, you can kind of relate to how they wound up the way they did CF: And you guys did a great job of that, through and through, of making the reasons why he’s doing it real, and defensible. JB: The original title of this episode, I think, as “A Fool For Love” BM: That’s correct. I was like; I love that title, let’s use it - why do I love it so much? And then realised, it’s the title of an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Which I love that episode, it was the one that was all about Spike, also about their bad guy and getting to know what’s the matter with him. So if I’d had my way, we would have had more of Nathan and William in this cave. I think originally they were going to be stuck in there for a whole act CF: Oh wow BM: You were going to be running around, there was more stuff outside. A lot of that got pushed into about two minutes of episode 5.21

CF: I came up to Halifax for this with my girlfriend and my son, first time I’d gone on location with them. So when I come home at the end of the day I’m handed a baby to take care of. So for me, I had a ton of dialogue to learn JB: That’s a lot CF: Well you’re learning, your’e learning how to do it. It’s just a life thing that you deal with. BM: Well and you had just directed the previous episode a couple days before hand, right? How much time did you have off between directing and then having to sit in a cave for a day? CF: About ten hours. JB: Wow BM: Wow.

BM: It was a bit of a chllange this episode because we had three story lines, or four if you think about Dave in his own mind. And we’re just cutting between them all, they basically each get one scene and act, is how it winds up working out. And each one, they’re still in the same place they were before. So we had been really worried at the script stage, that it was maybe going to feel a little too static. But I’m happy to say that you guys killed it. CF: Well and watching it now, Tamara does such a good job of that kind of Faustian moment, of; I’m going to ignore the consequences/oh no here are the consequences. And it’s so hard to make that likeable, because if you do it badly the audience is just going to be going; Well you knew it was coming, you idiot. But she actually pulls it off JB: She’s amazing BM: Yeah, it was a little bit like what happened with Lisa Hawkins in 5.21. We had set up this, well Matt McGuinness had felt that in season four and some previous seasons, we had ignored the reality of the situation a little bit. So he had wanted where possible to really have people just react the way that you and I would. So we felt that this was another example of that, that Hailie’s going to be pretty pissed off about what’s happened to her. And that if Duke came to her and asked for help, she’s not going to be like; Yeah I’m going to be a hero and do the bigger thing. Real people don’t do that, she would instead probably be pretty mad at him and blame him for what’s happened to her.

JB: I love what they did here with this mind palace stuff. We talked about this a lot when we were conceiving these episodes. And it should be no surprise that Brian and I are Star Trek fans, and there was a DS9 episode right towards the end, it wasn’t a great one, it was called Extreme Measures, and it was O’Brian and Bashir’s last adventure, and they wind up in a sort of a mind palace. And I was reading some behind the scenes stuff that they wanted to treat the set differently and have psychedelic images on the walls and really make it different from - Oh we ran out of time and money so we just re-used these sets. They couldn’t do that there because they had to play on a whole thing of; Oh it might be reality, it might not. We didn’t have that, so that’s why you’ve got the tree and the bike and everything. CF: The tree is the best one because as soon as that goes up you’ve got the iconography of being some place else. JB: Exactly, and we really got to play with that. BM: I would like to be able to say that I got the idea from DS9, but I took it from a Stephen King book, Dreamcatcher, which they made into a movie with Damian Lewis and his character spends a good chunk of the film in his own head. It’s visualised as a sort of library, he’s running around looking for books trying to find the right bit of information. And so like so many things we’ve done in the show, we try to pull from other Stephen King books, or the Stephen King universe, and that was another way we were able to do. I’m kind of surprise that it worked and we were able to sell it through - it was kind of a dicey thing. I think Sherlock helped us a lot too. JB: And John Dunsworth is so good in those scenes BM: Yes, which were not easy because he was just there by himself. He had to spend a day just wandering around the Haven Herald alone, and then the next scene he’s talking to a disembodied voice on a radio. Because we couldn’t yet reveal that Croatoan is William Shatner. CF: And on the day when you’re shooting stuff like that it’s always the script supervisor, way off camera, shouting out the lines, and you have to react like it’s coming from … wherever. It’s always a bit of an exercise. BM: And to make it worse, it was his last day on the show. Five years of work, and the big send off for him is that he gets to work by himself. CF: I was there for the send off, it was a lovely lunch and it was quite emotional. And everyone came down from the office, it was quite a send off. BM: That’s great. He’s been fantastic. JB: I really liked John, he was one of the first actors I got to talk to on the phone (becuase I never went up to Canada) but he was one of the first people I dealt with when I started here and he was just telling jokes and being hilarious. Really sweet guy. BM: Yeah it speaks super highly of him that I was - well I still am a nobody, but I certainly was a nobody when I was doing my first episode back in season two. And I was walking home through the parking lot, everyone else had already gone home, and this car comes peeling out of nowhere and starts doing doughnuts around me. Then he slams his breaks on, rolls down his window - I thought I was going to die, but it was John Dunsworth asking me if I had dinner plans, and we went and had some food. He’s a great guy.

BM: So this was something else that we knew we’d have to do at some point in this episode - 5.21 was Audrey and Duke coming back together again, and this episode was going to have to be a bit of of the shit hitting the fan. And she has to ask him to do the thing that he left town for, and that he doesn’t want to have to do. And she’s right. JB: Yeah and on some level Duke knows that. Because it’s all about destiny and that’s the vision he saw, and he can’t escape it - the worst thing he ever had to do was kill becuase Audrey told him to, and now he has to do it again. BM: It was a tough one. We at this point knew where Duke’s story was going, which also made us sad, for Duke. So all of this episode for him, was just about dealing with inevitability that he’s just kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

CF: I can’t believe that Duke and Audrey just left Hailie there on her own again to go and have another conversation BM: We got that note from the studio, and the way that we were able to get away with it, is that this episode takes place in real time. So she’s only there for about 42 minutes in total. Both of these episodes take place over the course of a couple hours; which is crazy when you think about it.

CF: You guys did a great job of making William’s appeals to Nathan logical. I find the biggest problem is when you get a scene where what you’re being asked to do, no one would do. Where there’s really thin logic that doesn’t really work and you’re supposed to pour your heart into it, but you’re just thinking; why would anyone do this? But with this I feel like I’m in the right. JB: Well it’s also not interesting otherwise. And Brian did such a good job with all that because, we do care for William. Even though he’s done these horrible things. And I think this episode is about him redeeming himself; in his own eyes as well as the audience’s. Because he’s been a fool for love, because he’s done things that he probably wouldn’t have done if he hadn’t felt so strongly for Mara. Who didn’t really care as much about him as he did for her. I think we’ve all been there. BM: I’ve been really attached to this idea that we ended up doing at the end of the episode, where Nathan’s wearing one of those rings around his neck, and we’ve spent a long time this season revealing what they were and what they could do for people like William and Mara. And I had really wanted to try to get to a place where Nathan could give one to Williiam. JB: Definitely. BM: That had been our goal - our stretch goal (if we can get there then great) - for the end of this episode. And there was a bit of push back, because Nathan had been wearing that ring around his neck since season two, and it had been his dad’s and Lucy’s and everything else. But I was just like; Nah, he should give it to William. But I think it wound up working, because it actually required William meeting him half way. JB: Yeah and he deserved it; he deserved to go home. I think that great line, I don’t remember exactly, but it’s like; You don’t deserve to die, I don’t know if they want you there, but you don’t deserve to stay here.

JB: In the cave scenes I also love the play on status, that Nathan is the one whose body is breaking down, he’s getting weaker and weaker, but William is the one pinned under the rock. So in theory William is at a disadvantage, but he’s just watching and he can wait it out if necessary. BM: Well that came out of necessity a bit, because originally they were both going to be in the cave but free, so they would fight for a bit and then get to a detente kind of a place. But enough people were like; That will never happen - they will fight until one of them dies. So it was like; OK, what about if one of them is trapped? So if William’s trapped, he’s smart, he’s a little Loki-ish, his biggest power is maybe his voice and he can break Nathan down that way.

[Vince with a gun pointed at Dave’s head] BM: Oh, so sad. JB: It is really sad, and this is what happens when a show goes on and you have to make big decisions, you don’t want to do it. I remember coming home and my wife was watching the show, the first half of the season, and she was saying; It’s getting dark - I don’t like where it’s going. And I couldn’t say anything, but in the back of my head I knew where it was going. But that’s the beauty of telling a story like this, is you get to have real consequences. You’ve got to make some sacrifices if the story is taking these dark turns. BM: I’m super happy that that voice mail bit with Dwight actually worked. It was an 11th hour save, because we were like; How are these guys ever going to figure out what the hell is going on? Because they keep having their memories wiped. I was like; Maybe Dwight gets a voice mail?? And everyone else was like; That’s a great idea! And I was; That’s a great idea???

BM: And we’re coming up on an Oprah Winfrey call back here [with Vince and Dave]. The first of many callbacks. This was just the idea that there’s some sort of untoward relationship or fascination with Oprah Winfrey that Vince and Dave both share. And that seemed like a good idea because we needed a litmus test to prove it was Dave, and a call back always works. JB: We never established what that was though, did we? BM: No. JB: We just know that it’s something between them. Duke knows about it too because he brings it up at the beginning of season four. BM: Exactly. You’d have to ask Gabrielle Stanton about that one. But it was the first of a few call backs that we tried to squeeze into this episode. Heavy shows up later on, and even Maddie Irons, we brought her back. We really start doing that a lot in this episode and the next few. We didn’t know whether this was going to be the end of the series or not, but regardless it was going to be a big season and we wanted to start looking back to the past a little bit. I think we varying degrees of success.

BM: So we knew that Dave was going to die at the end of the episode and that Croatoan was going to leave his body. But nobody wanted Dave to die in vain. We wanted him to have a hero moment. So we decided really early on, that he could do something to take away the lost time power that Croatoan has. Mostly because, as we tried to break what was happening in the following episodes, the fact that Croatoan could erase the memories at any point in time, made it completely impossible. So we realised we needed to get rid of that, and that gave us an opportunity to have Dave do something, which then beget the wall of clocks and his mission to go back into his mind palace here. But then again, if Dave *knew* he was going to die, that makes him less heroic, so we had to kind of do this whole dance were Dave was going to be spared. We had conversation after conversation for weeks about the levels of heroism - like, too heroic? not heroic enough? But you talk about all of that, and then it goes away when you watch John Dunsworth here because he is fantastic. And those two guys, their last two scenes together, all of those concerns just go by the way side.

CF: They got a sunny day for these scenes with Hailie, that’s great. There had been a lot of rain in the weeks before. JB: Yeah you wouldn’t really think this was shot shortly after the scenes with William and Nahtan in the woods. They got really lucky. BM: And we were just so lucky that Tamara was available to play Hailie. When we had here in 15 and 16 on that Duke side story, at that time we had not intended to bring her back. But we really liked her and found an opportunity, and now, I couldn’t imagine it any other way because Duke’s relationship with her in those episodes, that he started her Trouble and that he knew what happened with her mom - it all plays into what’s happening here. So it makes it so much better. And they were great. Unfortunately he has to kill her here - we talked for a long time about how to do it. There was this idea that he could snap her neck, but that felt kind of cruel, and so what we liked what this idea that he could kind of embrace her and pull her, so that he makes her injuries worse and that was what was kill her. But iti was the idea that he could hug her instead of some brutal thing. You know, he could have suffocated her or various things but that just felt too cruel. But they both sold it. JB: Beautifully directed moment too. BM: Yes. And unfortunately for Duke, and for Eric Balfour, he’s had to do a few really harrowing things like this to people over the course of the series. I think it’s because he started out the show as this kind of care-free, fun-loving guy, it just sort of makes sense with the nature of television that you start torturing people for season after season. But he does such a good job with it, that it was just only natural. He is as good at dealing with the dark things he’s had to do as any body.

CF: I’m happy that Emily’s walking better. I mean just standing there was an issue when we were shooting 5.20. BM: Even then you can see, we did start re-writing stuff so that she wouldn’t have to walk around as much. He can walk over to her, there just to be more running around in that story.

CF: By the way when you’re working with foam for days, everyone’s walking around on it, the ground gets completely crushed and pulverised into tiny little pieces, so its … your lungs aren’t happy by the end of it. Becuase it’s foam, it’s not meant to last more than a few days BM: That’s a great shot though. It looks great, worked out really well. CF: Yeah they do a great job as a crew, all the prep and getting the right lenses for that super wide angle - because it makes the scene to give it some scope.

[As Nathan takes a handful of aether] BM: So we always knew we were going to try and get to this point in the episode where Nathan was sort of forced to do waht William wanted him to do. And this moves them into a different tone of what’s going on between them.

JB: The controller crystal there, that was kind of modelled on the kryptonian crystals from the 1978 Superman movie CF: And that aether stains anything it touches. So we had to cover our hands with silicone barrier cream and just take it off immediately afterwards or it would stain permanently. BM: It’s funny there’s a bit of a vestige of previous versions of the script where your foot was stuck rather than your arm. So it was still in the script that William would cup the aether with both hands and then open them up again to reveal the balls spinning. And I realised after we shot it that was impractical now - but you did such a good job selling it. CF: Well we had a long discussion about how much pain I could show. Because if your arm is trapped by a boulder you’re going to be in pain, but if I leaned on that through a whole episode, that gets old. Because also Tamara would be doing something similar with Hailie’s story. So I sort of played that it was more numb, so that I could make the point of the scenes be the dialogue.

BM: For the longest time we didn’t have Heavy back, Robert Maillet, but he was such a good sport, he flew up just for the day. I think we got him on a break from The Strain. Really nice guy.

[William, about Duke and Mara; “I should kill you just for putting that image in my head”] *general agreement this is a great line* JB: We were talking about this section and wondering how William would react [to William learning about Mara using Duke] and I think all of us figured he’d be like; Yeah that sounds about right. As opposed to be upset or angry. CF: I did a few versions of that, some were more jokey but I can see why they didn’t get in because you can’t go too light there or the stakes go away BM: You guys really sold it. The idea of how Nathan gets through to William had always been, not that he would make some great argument and convince him, but that he would sort of challenge William, almost insult him so much that he finally got through to him. That felt the most realistic. CF: Well I take my hat off to you guys as the writers and Eric on the lighting, because when you’re reading a script thinking; Oh ok I’m trapped under fake boulders for an episode, … You’re thinking; This could be bad. But it doesn’t feel take.

[As Duke cuts his hand to let out the Trouble] JB: Can I just say, I’ve seen people do this on television a lot and it looks incredibly painful. CF: Yeah I cringe. If I had to cut myself, I wouldn’t use my palm. I’d use the back. JB: I’d be going for a pinprick, not dragging the knife right across my skind.

BM: So this is the place we wanted to get to where William is not a bad guy, not a good guy, somewhere in between. CF: Well and I like that you didn’t make him all of a sudden all like; *overly happy voice* Golly Gee, I’ve seen the light and I was wrong. You know he still has a bit of swagger where he’s just like; Get out of here JB: Yeah; Before I change my mind. Because I might. CF: Yeah. BM: It felt realistic for him. And in a strange way, I mean it’s a cliche, but him and Nathan wind up having more in common than perhaps either of them would care to admit. They are more similar characters. Nathan could have been William if the circumstances were different. JB: I love this too, this wasn’t quid-pro-quo, it was; “get out of here I’m letting you live” and then Nathan decides to hand over the ring. I really like that they don’t strike a bargain as such; it’s just two independent things that these characters decided to do for each other. CF: I like that moment, because I’m thinking William doesn’t get a lot of gifts. Birthdays, christmas, he’s not getting a lot of presents, so. BM: Yeah. And he’s spent a long time in the void.

BM: It’s funny William’s last words to Nathan there. We had always thought that he’d give us some clue that they could use in the next episodes. But then we shot the episode and coudln’t put the clue back in. He just gets a bit of advice - that it’s going to be bad - but it wasn’t really something we could call back to. Missed opportunity.

[Nathan; Where Hailie] JB: That very obliquely references the scene in 5.21 where Duke tells Nathan to talk to Charlotte, and Nathan says, I can’t, and Duke realises she’s dead. And now Nathan’s realising that Hailie is dead. BM: Wow. JB: You didn’t catch that the first time did you? BM: No. I wrote that, too.

[Vince saying goodbye to Dave] BM: So this was a scene we were looking forward to, in a sad dramatic kind of way. We knew that there needed to be a moment between these two. So we wanted Dwight to sign on to Dave’s plan early on, and then give Vince and Dave a moment, because this is their last scene together. And we just felt like we needed Dave to step up to the plate here. These guys have spent their entire lives protecting Haven and it’s secrets, and they’re in uncharted territory here but it’s like; Who are you really and what are you going to do? And we knew that Dave was going to step up in this episode and then Vince is going to do the same thing, pretty much, two episodes from now. It ends differently for Vince, but even going back to the pilot, these two had all of the secrets. And the idea had always been that eventually the show would catch up to them, and bring them along with it - like they would be swept up with it. CF: I love that idea that everything has a cost. That if you want to be the gatekeeper, or the holder of secrets, you’ve got to pay that bill at a certain point. JB: That’s a really sweet moment; Dave’s “Copy that big brother.” BM: Yeah I think we took that from some of the radio speak that Dave did in Roots, 2.05, when he was talking over the short wave radio. JB: That moment really gets me, where he smiles as he goes under BM: When I wrote this I originally imaged the exact same device as Men In Black, for some reason. But then we looked into it and it turns out that is what some people use for hypnosis, these little hand held strobing devices.

[Dave shouting at Croatoan] BM: John Dunsworth is great here. And again, it’s tough; he had to shoot all this by himself, just shouting at a disembodied voice. But you don’t even think about it, because that’s what John Dunsworth can do. JB: And you wouldn’t get many takes at this, either [Dave smashing up the clocks and the wall] BM: No. You can maybe tell, it might be a bit too obvious, but there’s a late addition to the scene here when Dave writes in his notebook, Because we needed everyone else to know that Croatoan’s plan is to go after Audrey, but there was really no way for them to know that. So we realised it was maybe one little last beat that Dave could do for them, something that he has figured out how to leave a message on himself. And that gave us a cool last beat of the episode. But it was literally added in I think a couple days before we started shooting. CF: John gave a really nice speech that day at lunch when he was retiring from the show. He was quite choked up about how much the show had meant to him. I think he said he didn’t appreciate this coming at this point in his life; having five years on a show and a huge extended family. BM: We got super lucky with both John and Richard. When we were casting the show we knew we were going to be shooting in Chester Nova Scotia, and we needed to cast Vince and Dave as pretty local guys. We didn’t want to have to be flying them in and out, we were hoping to find someone in the area. Those guys both lived a few miles away from where we were shooting, had both done tons of work, and they auditioned and got the job instantly. They were fantastic and everyone could not believe their luck. And they I think had only known each other a little bit, but had this incredible raport. John had lived right in the area forever; his family are like the Kennedy’s of Nova Scotia. CF: Oh yeah they’re everywhere BM: And Richard Donat built his house with his own hands out there in the woods, it’s remarkable, and has been there for decades. They’re both great guys, we were so lucky to have them.

[As Nathan Duke and Audrey discuss the controller crystol] BM: Thiis scene wound up being a bit more important than I think any of us really thought that it would. I thought it was just be funny if they talked about the fact they had no idea how to use this thing they just spent the last two episodes getting, and now they have no idea what to do with it JB: Yeah I think in an earlier draft it was more comedic BM: But this is the last time these three are really together again on the show. And certainly in slightly nicer circumstances. So it really wound up being about them appreciating that. The Three Musketeers together again. So it actually wound up being really moving. And coming right on the heels of what just happened with Dave; it’s pretty sad.

CF: And by the way just so you know, those aren’t the colours of real life. That house is not that yellow. The jeep is not quite that blue. Everything’s racheted up a little bit. I mean just a little; 10, 15%. I guess they were making the fall colours really punch because we’ve never really been in the fall before.

[Croatoan talking to Vince and Dwight via Dave’s body] BM: So this had been part of the plan from way back when; we knew that we would have Croatoan in Haven for the last four episodes of the season, so we knew that the end of this episode would have Croatoan pouring out of Dave. And there was a lot of talk about what that would look like. There were some people pushing for Dave’s body to explode, but that just felt cruel. So I’m so happy that he’s pouring out as this mist. And this made it a bit spookier because the next episode is about what is Croatoan? Because they don’t really know and i’ts not until the end of the next episode that we see that he now looks a lot like William Shatner. And here’s the note [on Dave’s arm] we were talking about that this wasn’t originally in here, and we added it really late. But I’m really happy that we did.

#haven syfy #haven dvd commentaries #5.22 - A Matter of Time

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what-is-your-plan-today · 5 years ago

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Stark Spangled Forever- Utter Nonsense Drabble... 40 Questions!

Yeah so don’t ask me where this came from, but I saw these floating around and for some reason decided it would be funny if Steve and Katie answered some of them instead of me...

I think the original post was from @odaatlover and I think I was taggeed by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork. Anyway, I took my favourite ones and this was the result...enjoy!

1. What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

Katie: I’d kinda like a tiger. They’re so graceful and pretty but pack a mean bite and you wouldn’t mess with one would you?

Steve: Who does that remind you of?

2. Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Steve: (grinning) Nothing.

Katie : I can confirm that is also my favourite thing he sleeps in...

3. What song really gets you going?

Katie: In what way? If it’s to dance and just act like a crazy fool to then its always going to be “Back in Black” because it reminds me a lot of Tony and happy times growing up. But if its one to spark memories then its our wedding song.

Steve: “The Only One In Color” by Trapt. I also kinda like the John Legend song “You and I” because it reminds me of her, you know, the bit aout trying on every damned out fit she ownes before we can go out.

Katie: I don’t do that.

Steve looks at Katie, eyebrow raising.

Katie: Ok, maybe I can be a little incecisive....but tha wasn’t really the point of the...you know what, never mind. Next...

4. Where do you usually eat your meals?

Steve: It depends. If its breakfast or lunch dring the week then it’s usual eaten on the go whilst we’re getting the kids sorted or I’m in between classes...but dinner, well we always try and sit down. And at weekends we always eat at the table with the kids.

5. Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

Katie: Dinner. During the week Steve and I eat a little bit later than the kids so we have that time to ourselves just to decompress and talk about our day, have a bit of us time...and at weekend we’re al together so I love it.

Steve: I love it for all those reasons, and also because she’s the best damned cook on the planet.

6. Most embarrassing habit?

Katie: Erm...

Steve: It’s pretty embarassing when you throw a Brat tantrum about something.. Katie: I don’t do that in public.

Steve: Bullshit. I refer you to the whole car purchasing situation a few years ago.

Katie: Jamie was only a baby...I was hormonal.

Steve: Hormonal my ass, you were being a brat.

Katie: Whatever. Yours is definately the need to stand with your hands on your hips and give someone your Captain look, especially when it’s someone you have never met before but they just happen to be doing something to piss you off.

Steve: I make no apologies for this. People can be idiots.

7. Chocolate or fruity candy?

Both at same time: Chocolate.

Steve: Preferably British. Cadbury’s to be specific. I got a taste for it when I was in London during the war.

Katie: He has a secret stash he hides from the kids...it’s great to blackmail him with.

8. Soft or hard tacos?

Steve: Soft

Katie: Hard

Steve: Although hard ones always remind me of when you went into labour with Jamie. We were making them for lunch and you had a contraction and crushed one...

Katie: Oh yeah, maybe soft in that case...because that was painful. And then I went throguh that another 3 times.Which is your fault.

Steve: I take full responsibility, yes.

9. Worst way to break up a fight?

Katie: Walk into the middle of it and say “Prove it, put the hamer down...” Steve: sighs, That was one time.

Katie: And it levelled a forest.

Steve: Did it work?

Katie: Hmmm, suppose so.

Steve: There you go ...but if its a fight between us, the I can think of the best way to break it up...

Katie : grinning, yeah...that’ s pretty funny. Or the worst one is telling you you’re in the spare room.

Steve: Yeah...that sucks.

10. Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

Katie: Putting on deep voice “Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out?”

Steve: Sighing I wish I had some smart reply to that bu I don’t...

Katie: No, you just threw us out the side of the damned thing from 14 storeys up

Steve: 19

Katie: That’s...that’s not better Steve.

11. Any hidden talents?

Steve: Not so much hidden really but I’m not a bad artist and Katie’s singing and piano playing is off the scale.

Katie: Steve’s really good at DIY. Like, brilliantly good. And also pretty savvy with technology all things considered...

Steve: When you say all things considered you mean because I’m like 112

Katie: Actually, you’re like 127 if you count the 15 years you spent back in time after putting the stones back.

Steve: hesitates I thought you said they didn’t count because I didn’t spend them with you.

Katie: They don’t, but they still happened.

12. Socks or bare feet around the house?

Steve: Socks

Katie: Bare feet

Steve: Neither of those protect you from standing on lego, which for the record, I reckon has to be a pain worse than chilbirth.

Katie: Seriously? You’re going there?

Steve: Ok, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but it still hurts like hell.

13: Favorite board game?

Katie: Monopoly. Its funny to watch Emmy and Jamie getting really agitated and annoyed. The younger 3 don’t really get it, Rori just likes to help Steve by sorting all his money into piles and suggesting things he can spend it on.

Steve: Namely tutus and tap shoes...she still wants to be chorus girl.

14:Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Katie: Oh my God. Steve is a nightmare as he runs hotter than any of us, so whilst we want the fire or heat on he’s complaining he’s boiling hot all the time. Our bedroom is like an ice block.

Steve: Doll, I’ve been in an ice block. Trust me, our bedroom is like a furnace in comparison.

Katie: It si nice though, like sleeping with a big hot water bottle.

15: At what age did you first have alcohol?

Katie: I’m sure Tony gave me beer when I was 15 or something but the first time I ever got drunk was aged 17. I went to a keg party at one of my friends and I was aboslutely shit faced. Tony held my hair back whilst i puked my guts upt for a good hour once I was home. I had the hangover to end all hangovers the next day and he cracked JARVIS up to maximum volume just to teach me a lesson.

Steve: I think I was 18. Me and Buck drank a bottle of his dad’s home made hooch...yeah, it didn’t take me much to get me drunk back then and I was very, very illl. Ma thought I had a fever. Mr Barnes thought it was hilarious, but still gave us both a slap upside th head...

16. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

Katie: I would say my wedding dress, but Tony bought that for me, so it would probably the the dress I wore to the SIP Launch for The Color Of Revenge...that cost...well it was in the tens of thousands

Steve: Blinking How much?

Katie: You don’t need to know.

17. What do you typically wear to formal events?

Steve: Whatever my gal tells me to.

Katie: And you always look great Soldier.

18. Favorite memory?

Steve: Oooh, other than when we adopted Emmy or the kids were born, I’d have to say when Katie agreed to be my wife. I’ll never forget that day as long as I live.

Katie: Me neither, not least becase I got my camero...

Steve: rolls eyes.

Katie: Joking aside, yeah the engagement sticks in my mind but I think it was when you finally kissed me for the first time. I knew then that I was never gonna let you go.

Steve: yeah...that...ok you know what this is an impossible question after being together for so long.

19. Favorite shoes?

Katie: I have a pair of sparkly gold Jimmy Choo stilettoes that I’ve had for ages. They’re gorgeous, with ankle straps and pointed toes. I’ve had them for almost 17 years but they’re amazin.

Steve: grins. Yeah, they’re my favourite shoes too...

Katie: Pervert.

Steve: I’m not even gonna deny it. Those shoes ALWAYS stay on if I can help it.

20. Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Both start to laugh hysterically.

Steve: Where do we start?

Katie: New York, Washington, Sokovia, Lagos, Leipzig, Siberia, Wakanda, Upstate and proablly a whole load of other places in between could be good places Stevie.

Steve: Yeah, this...I can’t answer this.

21. Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

Katie: I was 7 when my parents died but taking Tony as surrogate, I reckon him catching us in the kitchen when we were...you know, and he didn’t actually know about us has got to be up there.

Steve: Yeah, that was pretty bad... although my Ma once caught me and Bucky measuring our... looks down.

Katie: splutters What? You never told me this?

Steve: Well its not exactly somethign that crops up in conersation sweethheart? “Oh by the way, once when we were 16 me and Buck compared sizes...” Katie: Blinks. Boys are strange. So who had the biggest...

Steve: Next question...

22. Last time you had an orgasm?

Both grin.

Steve: Last night

Katie: I can confrim this...there’s not many nights to be fair where we don’t...

23: Celebrity Crushes?

Katie: grins. Does Bucky Barnes count?

Steve: Fuck you.

24: Makeup or natural?

Katie: Normally I just wear a bit of tinted moisturiser and mascara, now I have the kids anyway. I don’t have time to really do my face in a morning. I’ll make the effort when we go out though...

Steve: You don’t need it honey.

Katie: Awww thanks baby.

Steve: Although that red lipstick you wear, the bright red..yeah...I like that... grins wickedly and winks It smears well...

Katie flushes: dirt bag

25. Favorite season?

Katie: Summer. Growing up in Malibu I like the sun and warmth.

Steve: Fall. It’s an artists dream...the colours and textures are amazing to work with

Katie: Fall is rubbish. Everything dies and it’s a bit shit.

Steve: But you make apple pie and get to snuggle in my sweaters.

Katie: literally the only 2 things good about it.

26. Are you a competitive person?

Katie snorts and looks at Steve

Steve: I’m not even going to deny it.

Katie: He even refuses to let the kids win a games sometimes.

Steve: Important life lessons, Doll.

27. First pet you’ve ever owned?

Katie: My goldfish Flounder, the one that Tony replaced about 8 times. Other than that it was my Turkey Marv, he was ace.

Steve: I didn’t have any growing up so mine would be Lucky. He was a great dog.

28. Favorite pasta dish?

Steve: Mac and Cheese, specifically Katie’s. It’s amazing.

Katie smiling: Yeah I like Mac and Cheese, but I also enjoy carbonara.

29. Favorite kind of pizza?

Both: Pepperoni.

Steve: New York Style.

Katie: I like Deepdish every now and then.

Steve: It’s not the same...

Katie: well dur, that’s the point.

Steve: Yeah, not convinced.

30. Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

Katie: Handful of close friends, without a doubt. They become an extension of your family, you know. All of us in the Avengers were close and when you have that bond, you’ll do anything for one another.

Steve: Agree completely. When you’re close like we all are then it makes everything that little bit easier, knowing that whatever you’re facing you’ve got each others 6.

31: Something that ruins your appetite?

Katie: Narrows eyes Whenver I see Ross on Tv. Makes me want to puke.

Steve: You really should let that go you know?

Katie: Never. I hold a grudge very well.

Steve: Don’t I know it.

32. Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

Steve: I’ve never been one for big nights out. I enjoy the odd one now and then but, I’d much rather curl up on the sofa or round the firepit with Katie or Sam or Bucky with a beer and some decent talk.

Katie: Yeah, at one time I would have said night out hands down, but certianly since having the kids, or even since we started dating, it’s definately change my ideas a little. Some of the nicest nights we’ve had have been spent on the sofa.

Steve grins: yeah...

Katie: And not just because of that....

33. Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

Steve: I’ve only ever told one girl I loved them and she’s sat right here, and I said it first that night...

Katie: smiling Yeah, yeah you did. I wasn’t far behind though, like 3 seconds or something.

34. Have you ever had sex on the first date?

Katie: Does a one night stand count as a first date? Because if so then yes...

Steve: Same.

Katie: Lottie?

Steve: Storm?

Both look at one another, teasingly.

Katie: Ok next question...

35. Heroes or villains?

Steve: Some people might say there’s a fine line between the two. Katie: Oh here he goes, getting all Captain Philosophical again...look, everyone knows we were suposedly the heroes Steve, and to be fair we saved the world a fair few times, we were even fighting in the shadows during the Nomad years.

Steve: I know, I know...

36. How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

Steve: You know I’ve never actually counted.

Katie: You did 20 at the last brunch we went to.

Steve: 20...that’s...impressive.

Katie: smirking Bucky did 22

Steve: sighs Of course he did...

37: Favorite dessert?

Steve: Apple pie, preferably Katie’s

Katie: Pecan pie. Hands down.

38 Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

Steve: Ooh, that’s..i suppose it depends. I do like a good TV series, especially if we can curl up and binge watch once the kids are going to bed but I do have fond memories of us working through the films on my list...

Katie: smiling, yeah we had a lot of fun. Still

39. What’s your favorite compliment to give?

Steve: I love telling Katie how beautiful she is, and what a wonderful mother she is...all of which is true.

Katie: I like to remind Steve that he’s my Steve Rogers, not Captain America...because he is. And he’s the most amazing man on the planet, with or withouth that serum coursing through his veins. Which is what makes him the best dad the kids could wish for.

40. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

Steve: smiling, she’s sat right next to me.

Katie: smiling , back at ya soldier.

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers x original female character #katie stark

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thanatosisactuallythanatoes · 4 years ago

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Somethign Haunting Me:Part 2

So, Sakusa ends up in quaratine with the MSBY Jackals and they do a live stream of life in the dorms to pass times. (and because PR said so)

So, they’re talking and Sakusa gets a call.

Seems completely normal except he puts it on speaker due to the goading of his teammates.

“How the fuck do you get Zenitsu to TAKE HIS MOTHERFUCKING MEDICINE,” the voice of Aoi asks.

There’s a wail of dismay, and music playing loudly. Someone is loudly singing a shitty remix of how bad can I be.

There’s loud laughter. “I-i can’t believe he actually showed up. Is he going to show up everytime that Tanjiro ends up in the hostpital.”

“Did Giyuu actually show up? I thought he was more busy than this, also is scarface okay?” Sakusa says, knowing the callers well.

“He’s fine, just got his ass kicked again,” Inosuke pipes in.

“I wanna talk to Iguro, he’s one of the only sane ones,” Sakusa deadpans.

“Why is he your favorite? He a sad emo who burned- no wait, that was Giyuu who burned himself on the oven. Yeah no, he’s sane one,”

There’s another angry yell and the scream of PARKING LOT.

“Sakusa, who are they and are they okay?” Miean asks, confused.

“My family? I mean, like they’re the people who took me in after my uncle killed those people. He kills a lot of people, but while I was in his care he was a pretty good guardian. Anywho, the people you heard was Shinobu, the kid she took in, and the patients of her clinic. It’s not a clinic, but it;s where you go when you were stabbed repeatdly.” he takes a breath talking into the phone, “Or you managed to burn yourself of the air fryer, the oven, and the stove all within the same fucking day.”

“THAT WAS ONCE! YOU CAN’T SHAME ME FOR THAT FOREVER!” Giyuu yells.

“Well if you bother the one who can use fire without dying insteadit wouldn’t happen, Giyuu. Also like, I thought Urukodaki would teach you how the fucking cook. Espically because he has a thing for not letting kids die after-” Sakusa is cut off.

“What is it it called,”

“What,”

“THE OVERCOAT THINGY,” a gasp, “IT’S A FUCKING HAORI. THAT’S THE NAME.”

“Yes Sumi, it’s a haori,”

The phones beeps as the line goes dead.

“I’m so lost with your family Sakusa,” Atsumu tells him.

“This is only on of them, there are more. Well, actually my aunt, Shinobu, and my uncle, Giyuu. Giyuu hardly counts as an adult though. Then there are the many inhabitants of the Butterfly. Sumi, Kanao, Kiyu, Aoi, and Naho.” Sakusa says.

“You said you uncle killed five people?” Hinata says, it coming out more like a question.

“Oh, that’s my biological uncle, who is shady as fuck. These are the 12 people to co-raised me with Ubuyashiki, the one who legally adopted me, our family tree is a mess. I stilld don’t really know it but oh well.” Sakusa said, “There’s also Zenitsu, Nezuko, maybe she sleeps a lot, Tanjiro, and Inosuke there.”

“Wow,” Bokuto says, still shocked, “I could hardly stand living with my sister and parents, much less that many people.”

“To be fair, our compund is huge. I also change who I live with. That’s the Butterfly, it’s the most chaotic by far,”

“You keep saying Butterfly, what does it mean?”

“It’s Shinobu’s house, Water is Giyuu’s, Snake is Iguro, and there’s 6 others,”

Sakusa’s phine rings again.

“Hey Kiyoomi, I heard you wanted to talk to me?” a male voice comes from the speaker.

“Hi Iguro, I just wanted to talk to somewhat sane. How’ve you been during all of this?”

“I’m alive, been writing some. I also have listen to Who’s Crazy exclusivly for the past 5 days. I need sleep,”

“Then sleep you idiot,”

“I have ideas and my brain won’t shut down. Also, I’ve had 7 cups of coffee and a red bull, can’t sleep if I wanted to, bye!”

The phone beeps, and the team has forgotten the livestream by then.

“I see where you get it now and I wish I didn’t know, I’m concerned for him,” Barnes chimes in.

“Join the team, Tamayo and Shinobu are just trying to figure out how his caffine intake hasn’t killed him yet.”

“Tamayo?”

“Worked under the uncle that killed people, never killed anyone, and tried to keep the people from dying. She has a brat named Yushiro, he’s a mess. We were doing a stream, so I guess we have to answer questions. No, I’m not taking anymore about my family.”

#sakusa kiyoomi #msby black jackal #quarantine #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #haikyuu #i have thoughts #but like also #i finished my english essay #it was a prtner thing #and i just relized how different out writing styles are

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sharp-teeth-and-archived · 5 years ago

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐀 𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat. Long post!

MUN NAME: Bambi / Eden AGE: 18 CONTACT: IM, Ask, Discord (search discord up on my blog)

CHARACTER(S): a shit ton

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Dragon Age, rdr2, assassin’s creed, star wars (sorta??)

FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: Modern verse, r.dr2, da, skyrim (haven’t touched my bio for it for a while so I may have to touch it up a bit) and that’s pretty much it for any au verse. They’re just crossover verses.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN ( my brand ) / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY (my 2nd brand) / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA / ETC. ( I’m open to most things, it just depends on plot & muse )

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER (it happens but I tend to not favor it) / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ PARA / NOVELLA. / ALL

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO / OCCASIONALLY - only by Mutuals?: YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. / ALL

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ WEEKS / MONTHS / YEARS. / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY INTERACTING WITH: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM (really depends on if you have oen in mind and we discussed it, it’s just not posted) / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. ( varies, but overall I tend to post more ooc? )

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: im me or talk to me over discord

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Not too much? I’d like for there to be a plot in mind, but I can understand if that’s not the case. I’ve had instances where I want to interact with a character, but have absolutely no idea in mind. Usually sendign in an ask meme can help in that regard.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I strive to not be one-sided myself, but I do have instances where I can’t think of anything. I’m not sure? Maybe ask the other person if they’re into it or if something else is at play (dealign with real life problems and it just affects their mood voerall).

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: I always try to give ideas of my own if I have any. Coming to a equally agreed, general idea is fine. I’ve had instances where I was on both sides of this, but I always try to add input and be equal with the other person.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - AND WHY?: Sometimes I don’t notice it, but sometimes I do. Generally, I like to know, but I understand if someone doesn’t wan tto reach out. Just at least try to let me know and we’re fine.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: It depends really. Sometimes I just don’t have muse for a thread, or an instance where I have dropped a muse entirely. Sometimes it can be timing, but that’s rarely the issue. Most of the time it’s just I can’t think of anything and I feel like it hasn’t really gone anywhere? I have stuff in my queue for a while, so soemtimes it appears that way until it’s posted and I’m sorry about that.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. ( I do have instances where I was forgetful and I haven’t told my partner int he apst adn I’m sorry about that. )

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO. - AND WHY?: I don’t need to be tlaked every day, but stronger friendships ( ooc & ic ) are formed when I talk to a person. It doesn’t need to be often, but it helps me understand your chaarcter and your approach. With that, I can come up with ideas and understand you rmuse more. I understand if people aren’t fond of ooc chatting, that’s completely understandable to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: Criticsm is a good way to grow. Criticsm is different from completely bashing a perosn’s portrayal and not giving any pointers (ex: “your portrayal sucks.”). Or even for a person. If you feel like I am portraying something wrong, like depression or something similar, let me know. If you feel like Lydia’s adhd isn’t properly portrayed, let me know.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: All of my muses are written and taken an interest in for different reasons, sometimes I don’t even know why I decided to write them. I roleplay because I love exploring different characters and dyanamics and it’s easier for me to write like this than forming my own story. But a goal in mind? Be a good rp partner I guess? Or at least try to make things interesting and try my best to portray my characters correctly or in an intruiging manner.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: Varies on muse. I have different plots in my wishlist tag: ( wishlist ).

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: Potential triggering content ahead. Rape, noncon, abuse, incest, drug use -not alcohol- ( lyrium I can write fine, it’s just the realistic stuff I can’t do. ), inappropiate under age stuff. Themes where I write a stalker. Sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and racism will never be mentioned by any of my characters. I won’t write smut probably ever, so themes with that I tend to not write. Very likely more, I just can’t think of anything. Within dragon age, I do have a characetr ( Sera ) who will refer to elves as elfy-elves and be pretty anti-elf, which can be triggering to others. Also, animal abuse or gore of any kind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: I can’t work with starters that don’t really have any dialogue (handing something over with nothing vocally said is fine, but when someone is just sitting there, that’s harder to work with unless somethign is plotted). Generally, I like outside circumstances to be explained (locaiton, where in a game/setting this might be occuring, etc), I really like when dialogue is added and body landguage is explained/noted.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: Honestly? it varies. I tend to really be into deep, complex characters or characters that appear can be sterred in that direction with more added. Bubbly, energetic characters, fighters (typically female). Quick witted or flirty characters & mysterious types.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: I hate using the term but mary-sue/gary-sue. I hate saying that, but if a character has no flaws, I won’t be interested. Or characters that seem to just be placed there with no development.

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I try to add as much effort, or at least a lot of effort, in replies & interaction. I am very open-minded and when I get passionate about soemthing, you can really tell. I am easy-going, so feel free to tell me if you want to drop a thread or have a concern. I tend to work well of other’s people’s ideas, usually able to add my own.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I am slow and my queue tends to be slow since I try not to overhwelm myself and stress myself out to the heavens. I try to reach out, but sometimes I just can’t think of anything to say. My muse can be very flickle at times, so replies to stuff can vary. My msue tends to be more for ask memes than replies at times.

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN, FADE TO BLACK?: YES / NO.

WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?:

ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: all of it

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. ( I love ships, but I am selective with it and require chemistry -unless I know your muse and you occ super, super well-. It’s nice but it isn’t he full focus of this blog. I want to explore my characters and witness other people’s characters and their development. )

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP ( Jacob ) / DUAL-SHIP — MULTIVERSE / SINGLEVERSE.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: Varies on muse, but for my rdr2 characters I’ve been really wanting a sorta of “outside” character where they aren’t directly involved in the gang, but they are in a relationship with oen of their members. Where my muse,w hose in the gang, will tell you rmuse about it and the whole aftermath of everything. Where their partner will understand to an extent, but try to undestand? if that makes sense? I also want enemies to work on a job/project together and deal with that. But this all also varies on muse.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. ( I find it easier to write to assume people knwo each other, but an immediate friendship isn’t required. Like my muse may know yours or hear about yours, but they haven’t directly met you before ).

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: I have a large amount of different muses, but all of my muses all bring something new to the table. Want a guy who seems nice, but can be an asshole with a flick of a dime, who has a secret betrayal plot hidden behind his back? Pick Robert. Want a guy who’s humurous but seems to be hiding under a fake persona? Pick Charley. Want a female assassin who’s very talented anr professional in her work to a fault with her work-alcoholic ways? Pick Evie. Want a sweet and caring character with a heart of gold and will give you advice and comfort? Pick Cassie It depends on the plot, too, but I try my best to add as much to reply to to another. If you ever want more added, tell me! I could give multiple plots, so it’s really hard to put something down.

WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: If someone isn’t interested or outwardly hateful of my muse without a valid reason when starting to interact. Beign enemies is fine, but maybe we could write how it became that way? This really varies, so don’t let this steer you away. Just give me something to work with, brign soemthing to the tbale, and I’m usually fine.

WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, WHAT IS THEIR GOAL?: Varies on muse. Robert: fame/recognition, a legend made out of him. Charley: just to live life happy? He wants to be okay money-wise. Evie: to take down the Templars & help the people of London, not fail and always be successful and outwit her foes. Cassie: everyone around her happy. Sean: His gang to be successful, btu also be sucessful himself, he wants to be admired as well.

WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: Just using the same muses lmao. Robert: Someone who just listens to him and isn’t quick to make fun of him. Charley: If they have a sense of humor and someone he can stand, he’s pretty much fine tbh. Evie: If they can give her any information or aid with her cause. Cassie: How they are feeling. If they let her just listen and seem more open than closed off. Very personality-based. Sean: soemtimes looks, but mostly if they have a similar personality as him.

WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: Evie: devotion, kind spriit, efficiency, loyalty. Robert: willingness and empathy despite having little himself. Charley: Honesty. Cassie: Consistency. Sean: reliability.

WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: generally all of them like books (except Sean), events around them, their interests.

WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: For half of them, anything mundane or boring. Anything that isn’t relating to anything that’s spoken around / surrounds them.

DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: Robert & Charley (more Robert) witnessed a murder, Robert actually doing that act. Cassie: hearing about the violent nature of her father’s death. Sean: the things he went through with the bounty hunters.

WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: A gunshot or anything that could overpower them.

IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: Sean: rich people, Scots for some reason, English people sometimes. When someone disagrees with him on soemthing he is passionate about. Pronouncing and Irish word wrong. O’Driscolls & anyone that’s an enemy of the gang. Evie: Templars, Starrick & Lucy Thorne. People who lie or misled her or others. Injustice. Robert: Someone makign fun of him tbh. Charley: People who don’t plan out anything or are really reckless.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - BEST WAY TO APPROACH THEM?: Talk to them. Initiate a conversation. Pretty much that across the board.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: None of my muses are perfect. Some are worse than others, but generally msot of my muses will listen to you and usually be nice to you if you appraoch them well. All my muses are different from one another, so expect different results / reactions

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED: stole it

TAGGING: steal it and pelase tag me ! I want to see your results

#( ooc )#( psa )#// long post #( this was really fun tbh )

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bulletproofscales · 5 years ago

Note

Is there a chance we could get a really gassy Jungkookie w any member? Like, Jungkook was so stuffed and was drinking soda and couldn’t stop burping? Love your blog❤️❤️

--SOO,, u mentioned anymember so i took the liberty of making this a hOPEKOOK FIC!! Ive really wanted to write somethign about them and experiment with their amazing dynamic. It was so HARD!! i tried to balance them exploring their relationship and feelings for eachothr (since its such an uncommon ship) whilst trying to stay on track with your reuqest... I really hope you enjoy it!!--

---

By how fun the director had made the commercial sound, this Coca Cola promotion was truly: a drag. Of course, no promotion could be entirely fun, Jungkook likes to keep it professional; so he never once complained, and tried to be as collaborative as everyone else was. Besides, it wasn't all bad, look at all the free soda they were giving them! Ok. Perhaps Jungkook was drowning his boredom in Coke. But, he didn't notice until he felt a strain of discomfort.

He tried to maintain a straight face as best as he could, they were still in the middle of the recording. In his mind trying to remember how he got into this state in the first place. It slowly came to him, the unconscious need to have a bottle in hand during the whole pre-recording, make-up, and rehearsal. Trying to keep count he stood in disbelief when he remembered his tenth Coca Cola. In fact, he could still perfectly remember the feeling. His stomach getting harder by the bottle, but i'm only being automatically motivated to more. He peeked down discreetly and there it was: his taun stomach pressing firmly against the white t-shirt they had dressed him in. Just the thought of how careless he had been about his surroundings, made the boy blush a deep shade of crimson. Luckily enough, all his hyungs were much more professional than him and were way too concentrated on what was going on in the recording to notice, this time...or, any of the... other times.

If he had to come clean, Jungkook had sometimes had the habit of, overdoing it; whatever it was. He never really understood the reason behind this actitudes; thought to himself he had the courage to acknowledge: he liked the way fullness felt. It felt safe, warm and fun. And as mysterious as its reasoning was, or the vagueness behind what it was that he liked, reall; the maknae still knew nobody had to find out about this. If it was so confusing to he himself, he couldn't imagine trying to explain it to someone else. However it was so consuming, so inviting; he couldn't bring himself to stop. He figured if done every once in a while in the privacy of his locked door, nothing bad would come from it.

But this was certainly not the place. All this time he'd been spacing out the director was giving corrections for the next shot; which was by far the most fun out the bunch. For Jungkook's bloated stomach though, it was going to be only insufferable pain. Of course, he already knew what he had to do; even with his incautious behavior now, he had studied the scene before even coming into set. That made him dread this scene even more; he could barely walk without having his midsection send a wave of pain coursing through his entire body, let alone jumping excitedly into a pool. He put himself in his position, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and prepared himself for the discomfort he was about to feel.

"Everybody! Take five!" HIs eyes snapped open and look like they were about to fall of his skull. He took no time bothering in explaining anybody why he pathetically waddled or attempted to run to the toilet.

When he finally got there, he noticed it was a one person only bathroom, which in a way brought him some sense of comfort. Knowing nobody else would be there. He knocked almost excitedly on the door, just to check before locking himself in. Promptly sitting on toilet, JUngkook couldn't help the relaxed sigh that escaped his lips. He peaked down like he had done back in the recording, fearful of what he might find at the bottom; with anticipating undertones. Except this time, he could keep staring in awe.

His stomach has ballooned enormously, to the point where the waistband of his swimming trunks were interfering with his hardened dome. With slightly shaking hands he reached for said wasteland, and began pushing it down slowly; mesmerized by the continuously skin being exposed. Flesh taunt with gas, pushing outwards like he had swollen a melon. Once they were all the way down to his crotch, Jungkook was still struck with his own body. The way the enormous amounts of liquids had been able to fade away almost every sign of muscle that was there not too long ago. Or the way his stomach now was big enough to cover some of the view of his lap. HIs large hands left their resting place on his muscular thighs and grazed above the hardened flesh tentatively. Slowly, they descend until placed on top of the bloated midsection. Without any force, Jungkook began moving his hands around the dome with care. Not pushing enough to press the gas ou, but he didn't want that; he wanted to stay like this for as long as he possibly could. His eyes still strained to the exposed skin he stayed there caressing himself for what felt like an eternity. Nothing mattered now, not the recording, not the five minute break. This moment was only for himself- There someone banging on the door.

When Jungkook had come into BigHit as a trainee he was well accustomed with the fact that he liked men as well as women; so seeing not only Hoseok, but all of his other members as handsome young men wasn't a surprised. However, nothing had prepared him for the dancer's caring and outgoing personality, that would become the one thing helping Jungkook out of his shell to the others. Back in the day, Hoseok was the only people he felt comfortable with. It didn't take long for a crush to appear.

Throughout the years, Jungkook has had to suffer through cuddles and forehead kisses from the man he's been crushing on for years. It is hell. To know Hoseok is filled with love and needs to express it even without it being romantic really hurt. But he couldn't even be mad about it, it was Hoseok's way of being and it was endearing to say the least. Eventually he stopped asking him for touch and affection, Jungkook reckoned that if he did he was probably taking advantage of Hoseok's loving personality. Recently, he older had caught him off guard, asking him if anything was wrong; he really didn't know what to answer, so he didn't. Needless to say, things were conflictive between the two at the moment.

"Jungkook, is everything alright? Can I come in?" You could feel his tone becoming more stern, but the care was always there. Guilty, the maknae thought about how he shut Hoseok out the other day. And how, as embarrassing as this was, he couldn't bring himself to do it again. So he inhaled deeply, feeling his stomach push out even more it even stung a little. Exhaled, and opened the door into the stall. Hoseok walked in, and stared at the younger intently. The compromising position made Jungkook's entire body warm up with shame. He immediately felt the need to explain himself.

"I-It was an accident! I didn't notice how much I had drank until my stomach was all bloated, and I tried to keep it professional, but it had started to hurt so I came in here..." He wouldn't dare to look at the older man in the eyes, he knew if he did his voice would shake even more than it already was. The silence was suffocating, so he continued. "I was about to take care of it! Y-You don't even need to be here, it's-fine I got it." He explained quickly when he saw the dancer kneel before him.

"Let me help." He sounded so gentle yet so determined. All those times he had stuffed himself as to be taken care of, he had had always wished of having Hoseok be the one to pamper him, and soothe him. Regardless, he was going to protest, but the older beat him to it. "What where you going to do?"

"Um, well... I usually rub my stomach, to help me get the burps out... You really don't have to-?"

"Can I?" He interrupted. To which Jungkook, taken aback, nodded slowly.

Hoseok's eyes were fixated on the large expanse of skin before him, his dainty fingers slowly reaching for the hardened dome.

"The break is over! We need you on set!" Somebody abnged n the door and yelled from the outside.

"Just a minute!" Hoseok exclaimed happily as if nothing strange were happening inside the stall. When his eyes came back to Jungkook they had changed; they didn't have that caring and gentle aspect they had before, now he looked determined.

Without any warning, he placed his hands firmly on Jungkook's stomach; the younger man gasped at the feeling. Hoseok's hands were smaller than hid, making him feel a lot bigger than he actually was. And without waiting another second he began kneading the skin with strength and speed. The maknae's eyes widened at the sensation, the hands pushing in and out of his taunt flesh had him feeling all sorts of things. Although weird, he couldn't help but think of how intimate this situation was, freeing butterflies inside his stomach. Wait, no. It's a burp.

Loud and gurgly, it resonated on the ceramic walls. Jungkook's face grew even redder. But when he looked at the dancer for his reaction, satisfied smile was not what he was expecting. The older moved his hands to the very bottom of his stomach, urging all of the has to come out. Even if dainty, Hoseok's hands were massaging the flesh like his life depended on it. Groping tightly, squishing between fingers urging the gas to come out. And it did, repeatedly so. Jungkook felt his body relax form the tension in his stomach leaving, however he could not bare with the embarrassment that the he felt; using his hands to cover his face and burping through them.

"Do you feel any better?" He asked with care, to which he nodded, head still buried deep in his own hold. "Ok then, let's get out, they are waiting for us" The older man stood up and offered a helping hand for Jungkook to do the same. He took it and together they walked out of the stall and into the set.

Luckily the wait hadn't even been that long as they had feared, it took a little bit of the guilt but it didn't change the fact that this was horrible, this felt horrible. Jungkook had never felt more disgusting and appealing in his life, feeling the silent judgement form his crush out of all people. Of course, he wasn't showing it, yet it was only natural to judge someone under such bizarre circumstances. How was he supposed to talk to Hoseok after this? He might as well have confessed and be let down, at least that's a normal way to ruin a friendship.

The recording went by smoothly, although he couldn't help but go into shut down more. He cooperated throughout but he did not want to speak to anybody; it was especially hard pretending to be enjoying yourself and having a blast, but somehow he managed. In moments like this, Jungkook truly felt completely unaware of his surroundings; he didn't know how much time had gone by, the people talking felt like faint background noises and all he could hear were his own thoughts resonating inside his head. Eventually, it was over and they could go home.

The ride home went smoothly, the rest of the group chatting animatedly about the recording. He chose to pretend to be asleep; he knew that if any of his hyungs saw him even slightly upset, they wouldn't let it go. He walked to their dorm, stilll faking his tiredness but slowly becoming real, and walked into his room. He laid there, drowning in self pity.

Beer. That's what he needed. He quickly changed and headed for the door, some of the other members were there. He reassured them he was going out to get something to drink, he would be right back. As he gto outside, Jungkook considered actually going to a bar or rather buying the beer and drinking it in the comfort of his room. The latter sounded better.It was already dark so the streets were not nearly as packed, a beanie and a mask should do it. Living in such an exclusive part of Seoul, he had to actually walk for a couple of minutes to get to the first convience store. However, he needed the walk, think about everything by himself; his feelings for Hoseok, what had happened today, the odler's response, his own reaction. It all seemed like such a mess, and mostly like he has put himself on this position. He was the one who took advantage of Hoseok to the point where it damaged their relationship. He got out of the store almost as soon as he walked in, the only difference was that now he had two large packs of beer inside of a bag and was determinedly or almost excitedly walking back to their shared apartment. He sprinted trying his best not to shake the dozens of cans he was carrying with him to his room. He went by so fast, that nobody really had the time to process nor worry about what the maknae might be up to; they were all really tired form the recording and they recon even Jungkook might appreciate the space alone.

He sat in his desk, and turned on his computer, looking for the playlist he truly wanted to listen to at a time like this. Once he heard the soft tunes begin to play, he physically relaxed into his chair, closing his eyes and letting a long sigh escape through his parted lips. And without further ado, he began to drink.

It was so easy to get lost in what he was doing, the movement of the can form the desk to Jungkook's mouth almost automatic, the feeling of fullness engulfing him little by little. The warmness in his stomach growing alongside the dizziness in his head.The music playing making it seem like time had stopped for just this moment, but time did go on and soon all the other members were heading to sleep; further immersing him in this atmosphere he had created. He placed the hand that wasn't holding a beer on his slightly rounded out stomach, the gas already begging to expand his midsection, and rubbed there gently. Just to feel if it was actually real or not, he didn't know through how many cans he had gone through but it was hard to keep track of what sensations were real and which ones he was imagining for self indulgence.

He imagined Hoseok was here with him, helping him drink, help him grow. He imagined sitting on his lap and difference of size between them, and growing heavy with the liquid he was chugging down. Hoseok's dainty hands making feel even bigger. Hoseok's lithe frame making JUngkook feel massive, his thick thighs over his slim ones. Hoseok's breath on his ear, encouraging him to go on, hot breathes against his body only making him thirstier and eager to continue. The determined look on Hoseok's dark eyes when he helped him today, the memory of his hands being all over his body. Hoseok. He needed Hoseok.

He stood up too quickly from his chair, the world swirling slightly around him. he didn't have time to check how many cans were actually left as he clumsily waddled towards his phone; partially because of the alcohol, but also because of the sting in his stomach from the gas stored inside it. He grabbed his phone and quickly sprinted towards his chair and sat on it with force; the slight noise it made sent shivers down Jungkook's spìne. Uncoordinatedly he dialed Hoseok's number, without any real awareness of what he was doing.

"Jungkook?" A very tired but mostly confused voice answered on the other side.

"Hobi I-" A loud burp interrupted him mid sentence, he now realized he hadn't really opened his mouth since he began drinking.Without any shame he continued. "I-I need you Hobi."Another gurgling noise left his throat after the needy confesion. "Need you hands, here with-with me." His voice was shaky with desperation.

"Jungkook, are you drunk?" His voice was stern.

"Please come?" A deep sigh was the only thing he said after a long minute of silence.

"I'm going, stay where you are." Waiting for him to arrive Jungkook looked down at himself, with his stomach ballooned his shirt had risen up and he had undone his pants to make more room, he didn't remember doing so in the first place.

"You came!" He exclaimed drowsy.

"Kookie, what is going on?" He didn't sound as stern as he sounded on the phone. "Getting drunk on a weekday? Alone in your room? Is everything ok?" He slowly approached Jungkook's chair, ignoring completely the compromising position the maknae was in; slightly disappointing the younger by doing so.

Even if drunk, Jungkook knew that confessing his feelings on this scenario wasn't ideal, not for him nor Hoseok. But, on the other hand , he didn't want to keep lying, specially when the older man was right in front of him demanding to know what was wrong. He had to say something.

"I just...I keep looking for this feeling of being full and, and I never told anybody. But now you know and, I don't know...I'm scared, I don't know why I do this, I wanted you here." It doesn't really answer all of the dancer's questions, but it wasn't a lie either. And more importantly, it seemed to work on Hoseok. His face softened at the younger boy as he walked and sat at the end of his lap.

"You didn't finish all of your beers." He mentioned eyeing the bag beside them.

"Want one?" Jungkook offered with a playful smile.

"Well I suppose one beer won't hurt." That's a lie, especially coming from Hoseok, but he didn't argue against it. He took the beer and began drinking it quickly. "So, you said you were 'looking for this feeling'. What do you mean?" Hoseok made talking, even in the most uncomfortable situations, like it was nothing.

"This. The feeling of being full. I don't know what it is about it...It makes me feel, safe? In a way, it's more like I put myself in position where I need to be taken care of. And it feels... amazing." It was weird finally saying all that stuff out loud, yet somewhat cathartic.

“But…” Hoseok began tentatively, “Has there ever been someone, to take care of you?” The maknae blushed, even though the question didn’t imply anything; or that's what he tried to convince himself of.

“Well, it has been more of a treat yourself thing.”He laughed pitiful. Warmth re appearing on his face as he remembered how desperate where his urges of Hoseok's care. “But I can imagine.” He stated carelessly, the effects of the alcohol finally affecting his common sense.

“Oh yeah? What do you imagine?” It was getting hard to read what the older man’s tone meant. But he could see him leaning closer from the end of his lap, eyes intently watching the maknae with a glint of something Jungkook couldn’t describe. It was difficult to pay attention as his eyes closed, drowsy and wasted; Hoseok’s insinuating questions only made his long time fantasy more vivid. Before he could control himself he spoke.

“You, mostly.” The statement should have been terrifying but he couldn't find it in himself to care at this point, so he continued. “Your pretty little hands all over me, you would take such good care of me, hyung. I can’t stop thinking about it, since today I’ve been wanting it for so long I-” Once the truth was out, Jungkook filled in the silence with only more exposing honesty, though his rambling was cut short by a tentative hand on his muscular thigh. His eye shot open wide. Ant there he was, dainty hand settled comfortably over his thick leg, the older man leaning forward with an expecting look in his eyes. A serious expression made Jungkook shiver, he looked so, demanding. It felt like he was asking for an explanation, and the maknae was about to give it to him, but he beat him to it when he said.

“You didn’t finish your beers.” He stated simply. An innocent look as he leaned down to grab one from the bag next to the chair. He slid himself forward on Jungkook’s lap, now sitting mid thigh where his hand had once been. The maknae’s eyes widened if possible even more, as Hoseok opened the can and eyed him expectant for a complaint whilst bringing the can to the younger’s lips. Jungkook took it in an obedient began to drank as the older held the can delicately to his lips. Although his adorable demeanor, the maknae still found an authority in Hoseok; but rather than having to fear it Jungkook felt like he was at the dancer’s care, yet still feeling the need to please him as well. His eyes were glued to his drinking lips, so he took the chance to look at the older properly.

Hoseok had his eyes half lidded and soft exhales where leaving his parted heart shaped lips. With both hands on the can to make sure nothing spilled, he was leaning slightly towards the bloated stomach; which was beginning to make itself noticeable to both men. Giving it a light pressure, not enough to get any as out, but enough to make him squirm.

The time their conversation ahd taken hadn’t been enough to sober him up, and the extra beer sliding easily down his throat wasn’t helping either. It was becoming hard to process the situation for Jungkook. Of course he knew this wasn’t just a friendly and platonic encounter, but neither had it been the one in the bathroom earlier that day. It was hard to imagine what Hoseok felt for him, let alone this whole stuffing scenario; all the maknae had was his reactions to guide himself on. He had let all his intentions out there, but Hoseok hadn’t mentioned a word; which wasn’t a surprise for the younger. Attentive of others feelings but neglective and fearful of his, yes, that sounded like Jung Hoseok alright. Lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed he finished the can already, it wasn’t until the can was slipped out of his reach that he snapped out of his transe.

“Just two more.” There it was again. That authoritative tone on Hoseok’s voice. Not stern but strong, motivating, addictive. Jungkook felt within him the strong urge to comply to whatever it was he asked; so when the older man brought yet another beer to his lips, it was impossible to refuse. Even with the growing discomfort on hi middle section.

Still in doubt of Hoseok’s intentions behind this entire situation, Jungkook raised his hands from the arm rests of his chair; tentatively hovering over the older’s waist. He didn’t want to cross a line and for this to end, but this whole scenario already felt like a line was being crossed. With his mouth full, he tied eyeing at Hoseok looking for some sort of permission; but the dancer’s eyes were glued to his lips. Intently watching the younger drink, as to make sure if he wanted to stop or not. It didn’t take much for Jungkook to decide on gently settling his hands at either side of Hoseok’s waist; gently urging him closer. The older man slides across his lap, until his slim stomach was pressing firmly against Jungkook’s firm dome. Soon enough the second large can was finished as well, and the maknae was truly feeling the expanse of his midsection pushing against the shirt he was using. It was uncomfortable. But he knew that the more he drank, the more time Hoseok would have to spend taking care of him; so in the end it didn't take much of him to eagerly begin to drink the last can left.

This one he wanted to get over with, needed the older’s hands on him somehow. He reckoned Hoseok knew that already, yet he pretended to be concentrated on the can on his lips instead of the bulging firmes growing on his stomach. He gulped aggressively as an attempt to finish it as fast as possible, horrible idea. HAfter slightly choking on beed, he was actually grateful Hoseok’s entire attention was settled on him drinking.

“You are doing great.” He reassured taking the can away from his mouth, his voice sounded gentle and less authoritative than when he first commanded him to drink. “You only have half a can left, you can do that right?” A teasing and challenging mansour taking over the last question, as if darin Jungkook playfully. This made it clear that Hoseok indeed knew what Jungkook was eager for, but wasn’t willing to give to him until the last beer was finished. The maknae hummed determined and the can was once again brought up to him. Patiently he worked his way through the gazzy liquid. He could feel his face scrunching up from the discomfort in his abdomen, the strains of pain making it hard to continue drinking. He found distraction in his hands around Hoseok’s middle, stroking gently; feeling the skin through the fabric, slightly tightening his grip when feeling especially filled. It seemed like forever, but it was finally finished.

“Amazing.” Hoseok’s voice was quiet and tender. His face inches close of his own; Jungkook wondered if his deep exhales of air smelled like beer, but it didn’t seem to bother the older man. “You did amazing, Kookie.” Their noses were grazing each other with the slightest of touches, and so were their lips. Jungkook froze, petrified by the others bold actions. With a gentle smile, he brought their lips together. Softly the older man began to move his lips.

The maknae was on a spiral, the alcohol only enhancing his feelings for Hoseok and all of the sensations he was feeling. The gas in his stomach, gurgling and roarin within him, the tingling sensation on his lips moving in sync, Hoseok’s thin fingers sliding form his jaw to his neck to his chest to finally settling on the top of his ballooned stomach, pressing lightly against it. Jungkook’s jaw dropped at the sensation, deepening the kiss. On the hardened dome, Hoseok’s hands began to massage strongly; the sensation so pleasing the maknae was opening his mouth again to let out a moan. He wished he’d take that action back, but it was too late.

A clear burp erupted from his parted lips almost as soon as he had chosen to open his mouth.

“Hobi! I’m, shit I’m really sorry, all the beer it just-” He began explaining,m petrified by his own actions. Somehow, he had forgotten what stuffing himself usually lead to. Though his ranting was interrupted by yet another burp escaping past his lips. He stayed there petrified, the ashamed warmth taking over his entire body. A quiet giggle erupted from the older man.

“It’s okay, Kookie.” He spoke reassuringly with a tender tone and even softer voice, their faces still centimeters apart. “Just let it all out, I’ll help you” Although it has started with an authoritative Hoseok, this was one Jungkook war most accustomed to: the Hoseok who helped and cared for everybody; even through embarrassing situations. But, how could he be sure he was just doing it for pity of a wasted maknae and not because he actually felt the same way?

His worries were soon vanished, as the dancer continued not only to rub firm circles on the top of his stomach but continued kissing the younger man. He parted their lips and began nibbling softly on his jaw; Jungkook’s hands on the other’s waist tightened at the sensation. Hoseok’s hands over his stomach felt like magic, dainty but strong; he could feel them moving the gas around him. As a result of his miraculous kneading, a string of various burps came out of the maknaes mout like it was nothing. Sure enough, it felt humiliating, but the older’s encouragement was getting him through it.

“Yes, keep going.” He mumbled lips pressed to his neck.

“You are doing amazing.”

“Let them out, just like that”

He mewled at the praise, only for it to blended with another burp. Hoseok’s hands had began to travel along the expanse of taut skin. Groping the sides with force; Jungkook’s jaw fell open, his face scrunching up for pleasure. Earning a burp as its consequence. He could feel himself deflating form the gas leaving his body, thought there was still much to go, and Hoseok was determined to get it out. The older man kept on roaming as much as they could, finally doing so underneath Jungkook’s shirt. The dainty hands settled at the bottom of his stomach, pressing slightly. His automatic response came from his hips, pushing forward against Hoseok’s. It was only then he noticed how aroused this situation was making him. He was hard. The older man had shown his awareness, answering through groping of the lower half of his hardened dome. His burps were become softer and quieter, and it seemed like the could finally begin to focus on the maknae’s other issue.

Jungkook thought about it for a minute, his long term feelings for Hoseok; is this how he wanted it to happen? Drunk, without a clue if this were going to happen again or not? Suddenly, the smooth movement of the hips from the man on top of him seemed unappealing.

“Wait!” He exclaimed shyly. The dancer stopping entirely, surprised; his attention completely on Jungkook. “This is not how I want it to happen.” He stated. “I-I’m sorry if I lead you on, but-”

“Hey, we don’t have to do anything.” He reassured with a smile. “How about this, we go to sleep and we can talk it out tomorrow.”

“That does sound nice.” He confirmed drowsy.

---

Jungkook rose the next day by the excruciatingly loud alarm on his phone. 6:30 am. Right. Work. The memories of last night were blurry, and all his mind could care about at the moment was to finish preparing for the long day ahead of him; whatever it was that they were doing, he couldn’t recall. HOwever the memory of him and Hoseok having to talk made a spark of an indescribable excitement rise in his stomach. Wait no, that’s the hangover.

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randomorwhatever · 5 years ago

Text

my manipulative/emotinal abuser ex-friend

ok, another story time :

In light of some recent events, I decided to speak about this.

I had this online friend ( oh shocking ) born ugly doesn’t help with making friends irl ok anywho.

How did it start :

It was an online streaming service, I was watching this channel and interacting with the chat and stuff, and all of’ve sudden I get a message on my account, happy that someone noticed my existence ( i want attention who doesn’t human nature am i right ) , ok I'll try to look up how we started talking and what did we talk about .

so in search for the old messages, i found out they changed their user name to a girl’s huh interesting

it was the trolly usual stuff degenerates talk about where u from Lada de la da da etc ...

and then he says this :

P:thanks for talking to me

P: im very lonely u know

P: i dont have friends

Flags bitch these are some serious red flags I did not know back then but now I do, i dismissed it as yeah it’s just a one-time conversation you know.and then he says THIS :

P: i dont have anyone to talk and that feels awful.

me: but like u have a friend or 2 right?

P: nope.

P: i havent talked to a real human in months.

me: like none ?

me: for real ?

P: nope

THE LIES lol this is a total foreshadowing I’m getting there, YEAH, so we liked the same channels, we had the same self-deprecating jokes same type of humour, I was leaving and he wanted us to stay in contact so I was like yeah and he added me on discord.

Getting to know each other and the manipulation :

we continued talking afterwards and I found out I had more things in common with him, he told me about his story growing up and I felt sorry for him because he had it rough for real.(or so he made it be idk idk)

Fast forward to a month or so , he started hinting he liked more than just a friend , i dismiss it as per usual, and he had this thing where he would always call himself stupid and stuff , I tried to convince’ him otherwise and tried so hard to change how he viewed himself which is stuff I struggled with too but decided I was the bigger person and tried at least to make him feel better.

I won’t lie when I was going through some shit he always had my back and kept encouraging me he was so” supportive”.

BUT .... whenever i became distant because I do that sometimes; he threatens to kill himself and once I was feeling really bad i needed some time off he just went on a frenzy and cut his hair off (and got back to cutting) i don’t know if it’s real or not but that shit scared;me I was afraid to not be online and not contact him .

The next time he asked me to go out with him which is physically impossible because he was like 1000km I tried to explain to him why i don’t do that and i had my reasons too , but he wouldn’t take it and started crying and was so miserable which made me feel super bad so I brushed that incident off too .

and since then everytime i say something like that upsets him or doesnt line up with what he wants he tells me he was going to cut or end it all .

THE LIES UNRAVELED :

i was going away for a couple of days and had no regular access to the internet so i told him;scared he would do something , and when i was away i would check up on his profile to see if he was online from time to time and i notcied somethign he told me he had NO FRIENDS, not even online firends, but i see he has been duoing with this person for quite awhile:lie numero uno .

and this is another event , he told me he deleted this game , and right after i check his profile and boom he played a game right before he told me of his decision and even after he was still playing lie numero dos

some stuff about him didn’t add up too, how he was starving himself for like a week and by GOD’S GRACE is still alive somehow: lie numero i stopped counting by that point because there were too many.

yeah, and did i mention that he told me his parents took away his phone and laptop and SOMEHOW i could stll see his recent games that were played after the incident .

weird i know , mind you he wasn’t going out so the fact that he might’ve been playing in pc bang was quiet unlikely .

Anyhow this was too long and too hard to write about , sadly this relationship or whatever it was came to an end over something stupid , he called me something i did not like i stopped replying he stopped contacting me and it was over just like that .

there were some good times too we had the same interests so we always watched tourney’s together and commented and had our own points and reward system , and the memes it was the best part tbh .

I left some things out , but i appreciated what we had and miss it sometimes .

after we stopped talking i remember i chekced his profile and saw that he didn’t log in for like a week , i cried buckets i thought he really commited sucied because he was addcited to this game so him not playing was a bad sign, i forgot that it was somehow an older version of the page and refreshed and through some other means i found out he was still alive . thank god.

we don’t talk but the period that we did and the fear i lived was real imagine you’re being responsible for sombody else’s life .

sorry for taking so long and the bad grammar and vocab but this wil forever haunt me . it fucks your mind forever.

i’m not all there mentally so it just added up to whatver kinda fucked up i had , i still wish him happiness and to be a better human .

But i don’t feel trapped anymore , tip toeing my words and actions , you’re not supped to feel like that with a friend . afriend is someone who make you feel safe and loved .

#friendship #manipulation #gas lightning #relationships #heartbreak

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juliussneezerfics · 6 years ago

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His Past, His Present, His Future - Chapter 8: When In Rome

Germany and Italy take Rome... eventually.

Ao3

Fanfiction.net

**********************

Germany drove around, eventually parking on a side street a couple blocks away from the colosseum. As he got out of the car, he reached in the backseat and grabbed his backpack. He pulled out his sunglasses and donned them, glad that there was a slight breeze in the air. Without it, the heat and humidity would have been stifling.

Italy scurried over to where he was, latching onto his arm and pulling Germany along with him. “Come on! We have to see everything!”

Germany fast-walked up beside Italy, not pulling his arm out of his grip as they walked. “The colosseum will still be there in the ten minutes it takes for us to get there.”

Italy slowed down. “I suppose so... I’m just so excited! It’s been so long since we’ve taken a vacation together!” His smile dimmed slightly. “I only wish Japan was here... that would be perfect.”

“Hm.” Germany pulled out his phone. It was a Wednesday. It was farfetched that Japan would get a day off, but Japan was similar to Germany in the way that he sparingly took vacations. Perhaps his boss would grace Japan with a day off in the middle of the week. “Perhaps he can come down tomorrow to spend the day with us.” He sent Japan a text inviting him.

Italy gasped. “That’s a great idea! We can all go down to Seborga’s place tomorrow! I know he likes Japan.”

Germany hummed. “Japan seems to make a lot of unlikely friends.”

Italy laughed, leaning into Germany’s arm. “You’re right, but every introvert needs a couple extroverts to pull them around! Kind of like you and I!”

“In your case, literally pulling me.”

The two lapsed into silence, enjoying their time together and the beautiful scenery around them. The sun’s rays hit the windows of the shops, illuminating the people milling within. The two stopped every few minutes as Italy insisted on taking photos. Photos of trees, flowers, and shops. Finally, right outside the colosseum, Italy tightened his hold on Germany’s arm.

“Germany, smile! I want to take a picture of us!”

Germany looked at the phone Italy had in his extended arm. “No.”

Italy lowered the phone, looking dismayed. “What? Why?”

“I don’t smile.”

Italy released Germany’s arm. “Of course you do! Maybe you don’t realize it, but you do all the time! It’s a lovely smile!”

“I still won’t.” Germany retorted, missing the touch.

Italy frowned. “Fine, I’ll just keep bugging you until you do!”

“You forget that I have put up with you annoying me for the past 80 years.” Germany replied, determinedly ignoring two passing ladies who gave him a double-take, muttering to each other.

Italy took his arm again, holding up the phone. “Fine then, Mr. Grumpy-Pants. Ruin my memories of vacation with your frowny face!”

“Excuse me,” A girl’s voice chimed in Italian before Germany could reply.

Germany glanced behind him.

A girl with jaw-length blonde hair wearing a sundress did an awkward half-jog-half-walk over to them. She looked to be in her mid-teens, her various brochures and translator book sticking out of her purse an obvious indicator to Germany that she was a foreigner.

Italy followed Germany’s gaze. “Yes? Is there somethign I can do for you?”

“Uhh...” She pulled the pocket-sized translator book out of her purse, holding up a finger. “Un momento.” She attempted.

Looking at her book, Germany noticed it was in English. “You speak English?”

The girl looked up, obviously relieved. “Oh, good! You speak English! Yeah, I am.”

Germany noted her American accent.

Italy brightened. “Oh! That explains why you tried to speak to me in Spanish, I guess.”

The girl had a visible blush on her ears. “Oh, yeah... sorry, someone I know is learning Italian and she said it was a lot like Spanish, so I just kind of hoped... sorry about that.”

Italy smiled and waved his hand. “It’s fine! Languages are hard. Was there something we could help you with?”

“Oh, yeah.” The girl cleared her throat. “I saw you were trying to take a photo and I was wondering if you wanted me to take one for you guys. My girlfriend is pretty short, so I know how hard it is to take couples’ photos when there’s a height difference.”

Germany felt his cheeks heat up as he pulled off his sunglasses. “You’re mistaken. We’re not a couple.”

The blush on the girl’s ears spread to her cheeks. “Oh, I’m sorry! I just saw you were holding his- it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.” Her eyes widened with recognition. “Oh my God. You’re Germany.”

Germany was suddenly very aware of the fact that Italy was still holding onto his arm. He moved it out of his grip. “Er... yes.”

“Then you must be Italy.” The girl realized, moving her focus onto Italy as she turned to retreat. “I’m sorry I bothered you gu-”

“No, wait!” Italy said with a friendly smile, holding out his phone to her. “Could I actually take you up on that offer?”

Germany looked at the smaller nation, noticing that he was trying to calm her down. He suddenly felt slightly guilty about how he snapped. “Um... a photo would be nice.”

The girl looked up at him, still blushing. “Uh, sure!” She stepped back.

Italy slung his arm around Germany’s waist. Germany, trying not to look awkward, rested his on Italy’s shoulders as he smiled stiffly.

There were a few seconds of silence as the girl snapped a few photos before coming and returning Italy his phone. “Here, I hope you’re happy with them.”

Italy took it and scrolled through the camera roll, grinning. “Yeah, they’re great!”

The girl smiled. “Good! I’m glad to hear it. Sorry again.”

“You’re fine!” Italy assured, grinning at her. He looked up at Germany expectantly.

Germany looked at the girl and cleared his throat. “Ja, it’s not a big deal.”

“Thanks. Have a good day, guys!” The girl turned as she waved.

“Bye, thanks for the picture!” Italy called to her retreating back.

Germany looked over Italy’s shoulder as he looked at the photos again. They were rather good, he supposed. They would have been better if he had been able to just keep a neutral expression. He looked at Italy’s face now, watching as he flicked through the photos, making little comments about them. Germany hardly payed attention, his mind dwelling on how that girl thought they were a couple. For whatever reason, that didn’t bother him too much. You know the reason. His mind chided. It’s because you wish you were.

Germany heard a chime in his pocket, startling him out of his thoughts. He reached in his back pocket and checked the text.

I got approval from my boss. I will be down tomorrow morning at nine.

“Japan can come tomorrow.”

“Really?!” Italy lurched forward, selecting the face time option on the screen.

“You couldn’t have asked first?” Germany asked dryly.

Italy shrugged. “I get excited!”

Japan came up on screen as Italy finished, wearing his reading glasses. “Hello,”

“Hi, Japan!” Italy ripped the phone out of Germany’s hands, ignoring his noises of protest. “I can’t wait for you to come tomorrow!”

Japan smiled. To anyone who didn’t know him that well, they would think he was completely serene. But Germany and Italy knew that this was Japan’s equivalent to vibrating with excitement. “I can’t wait to come. What are your plans?”

“We’re going to visit Seborga! He said he missed you ealier this morning when he called!”

Japan raised an eyebrow. “I find that hard to believe. We talked for maybe three minutes.”

“Plenty of time for him, apparently.” Germany added, peering over Italy’s shoulder. “Hi, Japan.”

“Hello, Germany.” Japan replied. “It looks like you’re outside!”

Italy nodded, turning the camera around toward the colosseum. “We’re at the colosseum!”

“I see... can you turn me around now?”

Germany chuckled.

Italy laughed, turning him back around. “Sorry.”

Japan smiled, shaking his head. “You’re okay. How are you feeling, Italy?”

Italy rubbed the back of his head. “Much better. I talked it out with France, we’re good again!”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Japan said, looking relieved. “When he called the other day to check on you he sounded worried.”

“Well it’s all cleared up!”

Japan turned a questioning eye onto Germany. “And what about you, Germany?”

Germany met the deep brown eyes, noting the extra layer of trepidation. Of worry. Of concern. Almost like something happened to him instead of Italy. Germany’s suspicions then clicked into place. Somehow, Japan knew about Holy Rome. Not just about how France had killed him, but that Germany once was Holy Rome. And perhaps even that Holy Rome and Italy had a mutual affection for each other. “Fine.” Germany could hear the confusion in his own voice. How did Japan know?

“Good. Glad to hear it.” Japan heard the tone of Germany’s voice. The two shared a look: We’ll discuss it later.

Italy seemed to be picking up on the... whatever it was between them. “How are you doing, Japan? Is the boss working you too hard?”

Japan snapped out of it and shrugged slightly. “Not really. Just a briefing on the unusual amount of foreigners coming to Kyoto. Nothing that couldn’t have been covered in an email.” Japan added the last part wryly.

“That’s the reason you went home?” Germany asked.

Japan nodded. “Unfortunately. Even now my boss just has be doing busywork. If it weren’t for that meeting, I could have been there with you now. Well I’m sorry to say, but I have to go. It’s time for dinner over here. Then I’m going to pack, get a good night’s sleep, and make my way over there.”

Italy jumped with excitement. “Awesome! You have your spare key, don’t you? That way if you get home before we do you can get in?”

Japan’s eyes widened slightly. “You realize that I’m leaving tomorrow morning, right?”

“Nonsense!” Italy shook his head. “Get over here as soon as possible! We can have a sleepover! Then you don’t have to get up early to come all the way over here! Just pack and get over here.” He turned to Germany. “We can be home for dinner, right? We can stop somewhere and get some food and bring it back for Japan!”

Germany frowned, thinking about it. If they started making their way back to the car at four, they would have plenty of time to grab a bite on the way home. Assuming the International Road cooperated, they would be home before the food got cold. Having the details laid out in front of him grew Germany’s enthusiasm for the idea. It would be great to have the three of them together again, even if the last time they were around each other was only yesterday. “Ja, I think we can.”

“What do you say, Japan?” Italy asked.

Japan paused, considering. “I think I can do that. I will be over in a couple hours, but don’t hurry back so quickly. I know my way around your house well enough.”

A thought struck Germany. “When you get there, my stuff is already in the guest room. Just ignore it and unpack. I can keep my stuff in a storage closet or something and sleep on the couch.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Germany, you can share a bed with me!” Italy protested.

Germany gaped. “No, I don’t think that will be necessary.”

“Why? We did it last night!” Italy asked, frowning.

Hearing a slight laugh, Germany glared over at Japan.

“I hate to trouble you,” Japan added, looking at Germany in a way that could only be described as a challenge. “But I am much older and my hip has been giving me troubles. So I need a bed. And we’re going to be doing much traveling and walking. You cannot afford to get uncomfortable on the couch. So that may be the only option.”

Germany narrowed his eyes as he saw that Japan was visibly smiling, the bastard.

“Yeah, Germany! It would be really sad if the rest of us were having fun and you couldn’t because you were uncomfortable!” Italy agreed.

Germany analyzed his options. Well, it wouldn’t be all that bad if they shared a bed again, right? As Italy said, they did last night. It wasn’t that big a deal. Besides, Germany knew that Japan’s hip usually gave him troubles. And after all, Germany was just doing the kind thing. Japan needed the bed, and Italy enjoyed sharing a bed. He was just being selfless... right? He let out a long sigh. “Fine.”

Japan’s smile widened slightly. “Excellent. I will be over soon.”

“Okay, see you soon, Japan! Bye!” Italy said.

“Goodbye.” Japan replied.

Germany waved before shutting off his phone.

“This is wonderful! We can all go see Seborga together! I’ll let him know!”

Germany held out his hand, a silent request for his phone.

Italy turned it over, pulling his out of his pocket. “You can take a seat if you want, this may take a while.”

“How long does it take to schedule a visit?” Germany asked, setting an alarm for when they would have to start heading back to Italy’s house.

“We’re Italian.”

“... fair point.” Germany said. Italy replied with a laugh as he went to sit on a wooden bench. Germany pulled off his backpack, sticking his leg through one of the loops before setting it on the ground. He wasn’t going to have his stuff stolen. He pulled a book out of his bag as he heard Italy chattering in rapid Italian and got set to reading. Or he tried to read. His eyes just scanned down the pages, his mind wandering again to his past. With all the history that was surrounding him... has he seen this all as Holy Rome? Is this really his third time in the ancient city? He didn’t know how long it was before he felt a tap on his shoulder. Germany looked to his left, seeing Italy sitting there.

“What are you reading about?” He asked. “You seem to be reading really hard!”

Germany grunted. “It’s a book on American history.”

“You’re reading a book about America?” Italy asked.

“Not about him, exactly.” He said. “I wasn’t alive for much of the time he was developing, so I wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything.”

“And you say you don’t have a soft spot for him.” Italy teased.

Germany shot him a deadpan look. “I don’t.”

“Why not just ask me about his history?” Italy asked as Germany bent over to grab his backpack. “I was there!”

Germany peered up at him doubtfully. “Okay, when was the Declaration of Independence written?”

Italy put his hand up to his chin, thinking as Germany stood and slung his backpack over his shoulders. “Umm... in in the 1760’s...?”

“No. 1776.” Germany replied, shaking his head.

Italy also stood. “Well I was only a decade off!”

“Sixteen years.”

“Eh, if you’re being particular about it.” Italy said. “Now come on! We’ve been here for a whole half hour and we haven’t even gone in the colloseum!”

Germany followed as Italy led him to the entrance of the colloseum.

After they used their I.D.s to get in, Germany was astounded at the crumbled building. It was crazy to think of just how much time had passed... just how long this had been here. How long ago this place was filled with hordes of people. They were on a viewing balcony with a metal guard rail.

Italy was leaning against it, surveying the arena with an unusually contemplative look on his face. His forearms were resting on the metal bar, his hands clasped in front of him. He was abnormally still.

Germany looked at him, musing that he never saw Italy like this very often. It was strange, but interesting to observe him being this calm. “What are you thinking about?”

Italy looked over his shoulder at him briefly before returning his gaze to the arena. “The last time I came here I was with Grandpa Rome. There was a show going on. It was a wild animal hunt. They brought in several lions. It just looks so different.”

Germany also leaned on the bar, listening.

“There were so many people, Germany, you should have seen it. People packed elbow to elbow. The emperor’s box draped in velvet. The roaring crowds, the suspense... it was such a great bonding moment between Grandpa and I.” He looked at Germany. “But with this great beauty came a great wretchedness.”

Germany drew his eyebrows together.

Italy looked back over the arena and unclasped his hands. “When I was a little older, I understood what a terrible place the colosseum really is. I understood that what started as a sport killing dangerous animals ended as the persecution of people. The same dirt that puddles of animal blood sat on soaked up the blood of people. Of human beings, baking into the earth under the sun. It’s hard to look back on history, Germany. Whether you’re human or not. But it’s essential. You may regret your past.” He looked at Germany, his eyes filled with a harsh understanding. “But knowing what happened, and regretting it as fiercely as we do... it keeps us from making those mistakes again. They helped make us into the people we are now. I feel like you need to remember that sometimes.”

“... This is very sudden.” Was all Germany could say.

Italy nodded and gazed around again. “I know. But everything that France said just got me thinking, and... it got me thinking about us. You, me, and Japan. But you especially. I see you thinking about it every now and then. I see you about to say things sometimes at world meetings... probably to reference your past. But then you hold your tongue. I just sometimes think that you need to let that go. It’s not all your fault.”

Germany held his gaze on the side profile of Italy for a moment longer, musing that perhaps Italy was more observant- and more wise – than Germany gave him credit for. His eyes wandered around the decrepit colosseum as he pondered on what Italy had said.

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