#i wish medication could fix me
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mustymausoleum · 1 year ago
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tellie-vision-art · 2 months ago
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Where the hell am I supposed to even post art now, or even go to look at art???
I barely even use twt anymore bc I barely see art and the posts I do see usually aren’t even entertaining anymore, it’s just a bunch of shit I don’t care about or drama that I could live without hearing about
Here is basically dead, I do see art but it’s not usually art I care about? Like, I like OC artwork idc that much about fan art most of the time but that’s most of what I see (and it’s for media I don’t consume also so—). Or maybe I’m unlucky and my mutuals’ art just doesn’t show up for me 😭???
Both sites, it doesn’t matter what I post, it WILL be flopping, my mutuals don’t even really interact with me anymore and they always used to 😞. What do I even do? I just feel completely lost between this and all of my personal/health issues
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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tonyglowheart · 6 months ago
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..huh. so I always kinda thought eh idk if the meds are really doing anything, on account of how I still have the depression
but I just realized. it's been a hot second since I've been, like, really anxious or stressed about anything. And shit used to stress me out from time to time, you know?
...so maybe the meds ARE doing something, lmao, just not uhh the like thing I was mainly hoping it might magically do something on
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leviathan-the-boy · 1 year ago
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Actual conversation I had with my brother
Me: how long has your 'jaw been broken'
Him: 2 years
Me: whens the last time you went to the dentist?
Him: why? 😠
Me: just curious
Him: 2 years. I had an abscess and the dentist said I'd have to have the tooth removed. I made an appointment but didn't go. I'm not letting some girl tell me when my tooth comes out, I decide when my tooth comes out *sigma music playing in his head*
Me: "some girl" the trained dentist?
Him: yeah
Me: :^)
(I've stopped trying to convince him, he can't be helped)
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rainbowgothdisaster · 9 months ago
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i cant keep rawdogging this shit ion even care if its experimental they are fucking injecting me with antidepressants or were gunna have problems
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quintsmachete · 1 year ago
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kalashtars · 1 year ago
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vse-kar-vem · 8 months ago
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hihi vent post incoming (tldr im pretty sure everyone hates me and also im gonna fail all my exams)
#first off i did NOT end up studying! probable executive dysfunction went and got me again! i only managed to study a tiny but before and#now im procrastinating. again. killing myself ! 😁 im actually gonna fail rs tomorrow like who CARES about rs ofuhrkdkfkf it's bad. it's so#bad im in the trenches rn .....#i can physically feeling my brain shriveling the longer i spend online maybe if i finish typing i can get it together and start fucking stu#dying!!!!!!#second this whole i keep posting things then immediately getting second thoughts and deleting 😭😭😭 like its so embarrassing on twitter#discord tumblr everything????? can i not talk to people in a calm and measured fashion???? WHY do i keep typos ???? i am so socially inept#it's not even funny. im sooo fucked#maybe i am a teen going through and it's the hormones making me overthjnk everything buttt#i want normal pills!!!! i dont wanna get diagnosed for anything i just wanna try some medication and see if it fixes me !!! please!!!!!!!!#i.actually need to study or im fucked#so#uh#yeah#id much rather fail rs than history cuz i like history so i have to be normal by tomorrow wish me liuck!!!!!!!#ok so maybe this ventpost is not sad and upset more overwhelmed and angy at myself. whatever! I SHOULDNT HAVE WASTED ALL OF LAST NIGHT#DRAWING FUKDHFKDKFK#wish i could just undo today cant lie 😭 taken a WALK at least instead of languishing but now its 10 pm and im running out of time#im continueing to waste time on tumblr ok no. i AM going to study#vee rambles#proofread this .... also typo ridden! im stupid and i cant speak english someone pulverize me !#also my bried venture onto twitter .... disastrous . i think i've turned many people from neutral or even positive about me to firmly#irritated. great! classic me fikejfldlflslmglslf < keysmash of anger
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sashi-ya · 3 months ago
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𝘗𝘙𝘈𝘕𝘒𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘔 𝘞𝘐𝘛𝘏 "𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘌𝘙𝘐𝘖𝘋 𝘐𝘚 𝘓𝘈𝘛𝘌" one piece edition headcanons ⟢ law, zoro, ace & shanks
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tw: mdni. suggestive language. pregnancy desires mentioned. cream pie implied. on a serious note, do not play this prank to your real life lovers, please. wait for a bleach and kaiju 8 version, too.
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𝐋𝐀𝐖
No medical knowledge is enough for him to justify your lack of a period. Every possible cause stated at the same time inside his head, every cause but pregnancy… Completely in silence, that’s how he stayed the very first minutes after your told him. His cheeks lacked redness; his whole skin turned pale. Legs becoming weak, insides falling into a jail of anxiety.
A silence hug, that’s all he is able to do after who knows how many minutes. His nose buries on the crook of your neck, his hands fall slowly around your waist, hanging lifelessly into the small of your back… “I have no idea what is happening right now, but I promise I’ll be here forever…”
For a moment you wish that wasn’t just a prank but reality, just for a moment you stood there… quiet, kissing the crown of his head… You couldn’t laugh at that moment, not at all.
𝐙𝐎𝐑𝐎
“Zoro, I’m late” . “Huh? Where to? hurry up!”. “With my period???!”. “Tell your period to hurry up, then”
Zoro has no idea. Too sleepy to understand anyway. You explain, in the most simple words you could find until he finally understood.
He stood up. Shook the sleepiness off and walked towards you. For the very first time, his katana were left on the floor; Wado Ichimonji stopped being important.
“You are lying. I smell blood on you. But since you want it so bad, then, let me make that period real, real, real late…”
The next thing you knew, it was him carrying you like a sack of potatoes on his muscular shoulder to the room. Oh, when the King of Hell says it’s time… you better be prepared… 🙊
𝐀𝐂𝐄
“WHAT? ME????? A FATHER?????”. “Most probably, I told you should use protection …”
“No, but you- YOU TOLD ME?  YOU- NEVER MIND I DON’T CARE. MARCO!! POPS! IZOU! I MUST CALL LUFFY!!! OI!!!” . “ACE, ACE!! STOP!”
Ace couldn’t hold the excitement. You were unsure if that prank would be a good thing to do… after all, Ace hated his own blood… however, that reaction took you off guard. He ran through the Moby Dick, with cheeks as full of freckles as red from happiness. Orange hat flowing with the wind of such huge ship, the sound of his boots echoing with his steps.
“ACE, IT WAS JUST A PRANK! STOP!”
He stopped. Black locks curling with the breeze of the main deck. “I guess it’s better that way… after all, I am sure that baby might run the same fa-“ Ace suddenly felt trap of his own past once again, but your arms surrounded his frame to stop it.
“Shut up, or I’ll rip those freckles off you! now, get me pregnant. Right now”
“If you ask it that way, then I have no other choice miss…”
𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒
“do have you any idea how many women have told me that before?”
“don’t be a prick, shanks…” you mutter, you were fuming. That prank seemed to only show how much of a womanizer this man really is.
He walked towards you; red hair, as the blood that runs through your veins and your heart pumps, playfully danced on his forehead. His intense eyes, fixed on yours, made you weak, unable to breath properly.
“I know it’s a prank, do you think I wouldn’t tell? You aren’t made for lying, love… I just wanted a little revenge, you shouldn’t make my heart stop that way… you know how much I want it to be true, (Name)?” he whispers, grabbing you from your chin.
Lips crashed against yours; you couldn’t argue, you couldn’t protest… that man rules over you, and if he wants you pregnant, then… he will make it happen.
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girlgenius1111 · 25 days ago
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Alexia, bedroom, “do you not love me anymore”
i’m picturing like r is on her period and hormonal and irrational or something similar, not like legit angst where she actually thinks that
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pain relief
alexia putellas x reader
You were curled up into a tiny ball on the couch when Alexia walked through the door, as if making yourself small enough would rid your abdomen and back of the pulsing pain currently afflicting it. Fading blonde hair hanging slightly damp around her shoulders, your girlfriend frowned sympathetically, dropping her bag by the door and kicking her shoes off. 
Any other day, you would have scolded her for the haphazard way she left her stuff, but today you didn’t have it in you. Instead, you just gazed at your girlfriend, the deep frown on your own face and the position of your body enough to tell Alexia just how badly you were feeling. 
“Hi there.” She greeted, walking over to you and sitting on the very edge of the couch. Her hand cupped your cheek, her lips pressing against yours in a chaste kiss. “Not feeling any better?” 
“No.” You replied, voice wavering as the comforting sight of your girlfriend in front of you only increased the pity you felt for yourself. 
“I’m sorry, amor.” Alexia whispered, smiling softly as you leaned into her touch. Still, her eyes flitted about the surrounding area, taking in the lack of water, the lack of any plate or bowl, the lack of your heating pad or any pain medications. You were always stubborn about allowing Alexia to care for you, pushing her out the door to training that morning insisting that you could get everything you needed yourself. 
The blonde didn’t enjoy training half as much without you there, and she’d been suitably distracted by the thought of you home all by yourself, in pain. It seemed her fears hadn’t been unfounded. 
“Have you eaten?”
You shook your head.
“Taken any medicine?” 
Another head shake. 
“Water? Heating pad? Anything?” Again, you shook your head, and Alexia’s frown deepened. “Amor–”
“I was going to eat and take something but then I laid down and I didn’t want to get up.” You explained, a few tears sliding down your cheeks as your lip quivered. “Sorry.” 
Your girlfriend sighed. “Don’t be sorry, bebita. I just wish you’d let me do more for you when you aren’t well.” 
“I can handle it.” You said the statement automatically, though you were painfully aware it made no sense; you were still curled up into a ball on your side, unwilling to move even as you craved the comfort of Alexia’s arms wrapping around you, knowing full well movement from this position would hurt. 
Alexia fixed you with a look, one that told you she wasn’t in the mood for you to be stoic and try to push through the pain. “You haven’t moved from the couch since I left. You cannot handle it.” 
Still, you were nothing if not stubborn, forcing your body out to uncurl and sit up, a pained wince flickering across your face. Alexia rolled her eyes, but helped you sit up anyway, her arm around your shoulders pulling you into her. 
“You’re being absurd. You don’t need to take care of everything yourself, not when I’m around.” Alexia told you. She craned her neck to kiss your forehead, her hand rubbing large circles into your back. You melted against her, practically, tucking your face into her sweatshirt. Almost as soon as you’d gotten comfortable, though, another spike of pain shot through your abdomen. You groaned, falling backwards onto the couch and rolling back up into your ball. 
“Oh, amor.” Alexia sighed. “What can I do?” 
“Heating pad.” You replied, voice muffled by the couch cushion your face was pressing into. 
Alexia got to her feet right away, hurrying off to get a heating pad. She returned quickly, gently nudging you until you stretched back out and allowed her to push your shirt up, placing the heating pad across your stomach. She turned the heating pad on, resting her hands over it to carefully press it into your skin. Alexia worried her lip between her teeth, gazing down at you with worry clouding her face. 
“Has it been like this all day?” She wondered. 
You shrugged noncommittaly in response and your girlfriend sighed again. You knew what she was going to say before she said it, but that didn’t help the disappointment you felt in yourself when she spoke. “Amor, they are getting worse.” Alexia murmured, running her thumb back and forth over your cheekbone. 
“I know.” You whispered. 
Alexia didn’t understand, couldn’t understand why you refused to make the phone call to see your doctor, and address the horrific periods you’d been having. There was some kind of mental block for you, and it was simply a task you couldn’t get done. Instead, you pushed it off and pushed it off until another period rolled around and you were practically bedridden for the first day. You knew Alexia was only frustrated because she hated to see you in pain, but a part of you wondered if, really, she was just tired of dealing with how moody and uncomfortable you got around this time of the month. 
Of course, this wasn’t the case at all. 
“I am so sorry you are in so much pain.” Alexia said slowly, as if able to physically see the doubts creeping into your head. “I wish I could take it away.” 
The thing was, Alexia knew that you knew what needed to be done to get yourself on track to feeling better. Nagging you about it wouldn’t do anything but make you feel worse. 
“I’ll call tomorrow.” You told her. It was something you’d said before, but the look on your face had Alexia oddly convinced that you really would call tomorrow. 
Your girlfriend’s eyes crinkled slightly as she smiled down at you, happy to see the evident pain fading from your face as the heating pad made the muscles in your stomach relax somewhat. Mentally, she checked one item off the list of things she could do to make you feel better, absolutely dead set on making your pain go away.
Alexia was quite successful in relieving your pain for the most part, magically caring individual that she was. It was later that evening, after Alexia had made your favorite for dinner and put her favorite show on the TV because ‘relationships were about compromise, mi amor,’  that you came to the conclusion of the one thing that would truly improve your still somewhat foul mood.  
“What is it?” Alexia asked, pausing the show after you shifted in her arms and sighed for the 5th time in the last 2 minutes. 
“Nothing.” You replied, feeling as though you’d already imposed too much upon your girlfriend so far that day. Alexia tugged the hood down from where it was pulled up over your head, tilted your face towards hers, and raised a single eyebrow in your direction. 
“I really want ice cream.” You admitted, blushing at the grin that pulled at your girlfriend’s lips. “But you made dinner, and and we’re comfortable and–” 
“I’ll get ice cream, amor, of course.” Alexia promised. “I can order it and then I don’t have to leave you.” 
Your heart melted a bit at that and you sunk even further into her embrace. Alexia opened the delivery app, clicking on your favorite ice cream shop and adding your order, which she somehow knew by heart, to the cart. You smiled into her sweatshirt… until she clicked check out. Without adding anything for herself. 
Craning your neck to look up at her, you frowned. “You… you don’t want any?” 
“No, I’m okay.” Alexia said absentmindedly, her hand gently trying to push your head to lay back on her chest. Instead, you sat up. “Amor?” 
Alexia looked up at you finally, her face falling as she noticed the tears welling in your eyes. 
“Hey, hey, hey, no crying. What’s wrong? Tell me, I’ll make it better.” Alexia cooed, taking your face in between her hands and peppering kisses across your cheeks. 
“You- you don’t want any ice cream.” You sniffled pathetically. “Do you not love me anymore?” 
Alexia would have laughed if you didn’t look so completely serious. “Bebita, I love you with my whole entire heart, I just do not feel like ice cream tonight.” 
You scoffed in response, crossing your arms over your chest and stubbornly looking away from your girlfriend. Alexia’s lip twitched, but she maintained a serious expression, using a single finger to tilt your face back towards her. 
“Are you… are you crying because I won’t eat ice cream with you?” She wondered softly, her voice amazingly free of any judgment or amusement. 
As if only realizing now how absurd you were being, your face flushed and you wiped furiously at your eyes. “God, I am. What’s wrong with me?!” 
“That is a long list, amor, how much time do you have?” 
You glared at her, but she gave you a dopey smile in response, leaning forward with her lips puckered for a kiss. You obliged, sinking back into her arms and snuggling your face into her neck. 
“You don’t have to get any ice cream.” You sighed. 
Alexia hummed, thinking for a moment. “Well, if you are going to cry about it, I may as well.” 
You poked her stomach, feeling her chest vibrate under your head as she chuckled. She must have finished the order, because she dropped her phone onto the coffee table and wrapped her arms snuggly back around you. Alexia pressed a kiss to the top of your head, playing the show again and considering how she could pretend to eat her ice cream but really sneak it into the freezer, because ice cream had been making her stomach hurt recently. With how clingy you were being, Alexia wasn’t sure she’d be successful, but she’d live. What was a stomach ache, compared to the happy smile on your face she knew she’d get to see soon. 
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arcadian-vampire · 2 years ago
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If y'all need me, I'm busy lamenting my status as a Medical Anomaly. Yeah it'll be all day. Or two. Maybe six.
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wanda-widow · 9 months ago
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Post-Mission
Grumpy!Bucky x Reader
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Word Count: 832
Summary: Bucky has always been one to try and pull away from people who care about him. However, you're always one to be insistent and care for him anyways, no matter what he says.
18+ MDNI
Warnings: slight angst, implied smut if you squint your eyes, fluff
Like and reblog if you wish 💗
Hearing footsteps shuffle down the hall along with the sound of a dragging duffle was all you needed to know that Bucky was back from his week long mission. Hopping off the bed and peeking your head out of your shared bedroom, you saw Bucky scrub a weary hand down his face. You instantly frowned, worried as you hurried over to him, taking the duffle out of his hands. 
“How was the mission? Are you hurt anywhere? We should get you some food, you look exhausted” you said while rushing back to the room to unpack his gear as he let out a sigh, silently chucking off his boots before face planting on the bed. 
“Bucky?” came your worried voice after you put his boots into the closet, sitting on the bed next to him and poking his shoulder. “Bucky, get up. Shower, eat, and then rest.” you urged, poking him again when his vibranium hand shot out to grip your wrist.
“Let me sleep” he said gruffly before shifting on the bed so that his back was turned to you, leaving you rubbing your wrist softly. You knew he wasn’t too responsive after missions since it took so much out of him, not that he was one for words or self care anyways. Still, you took it upon yourself to make sure he was cared for. 
“Please? I’ll make you plum croissants tomorrow if you just shower and eat” you tried again, scooting closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder as you felt him sigh again before sitting up.
“Eat and then shower” he said, running a hand through his hair as he made his way to one of the compound communal kitchens, sitting down on one of the stools as he waited for you expectantly. 
“Grilled cheese?” you offered, slotting yourself in the opening between his thighs, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he nodded, fingers trailing down your arm as you pulled away. You could feel his gaze follow you as you bustled around the kitchen to make his food. “Go shower and then you can eat after” you said softly, turning around to look at him as he frowned, reaching out to tug you by the wrist back into his proximity.
“Thought you would shower with me” he said softly, letting his walls down while no one else was around. You felt his hands come to rest on your waist, forehead between your breasts as he pressed a kiss through your clothes. 
“Another time, I promise” you laughed softly, letting your hands run through his hand before stopping at his shoulders, letting one hand trail down his vibranium arm. He let out a quiet whine before getting off the stool, dropping a kiss to the top of your head. You watched as he went back to the room to shower before turning back to the sandwich, humming softly.
20 minutes later, Bucky was freshly showered and seated at the counter once more, gaze still fixed on you as you plated his sandwich and sat next to him. He ate in silence for a while as you observed the new wounds on his back. Finding some gauze and neosporin, you began to bandage them gently.
“They’re shallow but-” 
“They’re nothing” Bucky cut you off but made no move to stop you from patching him up. After placing the last piece of medical tape, he turned in his stool to face you, the both of you exchanging silent conversation before he got up to wash his plate. 
“If you keep going on long missions, you’re just gonna keep destroying yourself, Buck” you said quietly, swallowing the lump in your throat. It became more apparent that the past couple months, he just drew further into himself with each mission, determined to block out the pain with endless fighting. 
“I’m just helping the team” he said tersely, putting his dish in the drying rack before he walked back to the room, expecting you to follow behind him. You stood there for a moment, willing for the emotions to fade, to appreciate that he was here. 
Your legs moved in habit, walking to your shared bedroom and flicking off the light before sliding under the covers with him. You could still hear his breaths, short and controlled. He wasn’t asleep.
After a long moment of silence, he spoke up again. “I don’t mean it, doll. The rudeness, the violence. I’m trying.”
“Bucky…” you started quietly but stopped when you felt the bed shift, a heavy weight now resting across your waist, shallow puffs of breath ghosting across your collarbone. 
“I’ll take a month break, spend time with you?” he half offered, half begged, the grip on your waist tightening.
“James…” 
“Only time with you. No one else unless really needed” he whispered, his leg shifting to now rest over yours, lips gently sucking at the base of your neck, smirking when he felt you cave. 
“How does Bali sound?” 
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mrsparrasblog · 5 months ago
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I just listened to "My Tears Ricochet" and had an idea.
TW: Angst *laughs in free therapy*
So, imagine the boys need to fake their deaths. How macabre it is that they attend their own funerals, wanting to watch their loved ones. (These are standalone scenarios they don't fake their death together)
Price: You were his wife for all these years, always waiting for him to return. The funny thing was you could clearly remember the last argument before he left.
"Love, just one more tour, and I'm coming back to you. Then we can start a family and all that, but the boys need me."
"It's always the last tour with you. When is it really the last?"
"This time, I promise."
To some extent, he was right. You thought it was his last tour, but it wasn’t fair. You knew it was over when you got the call from General Shepard. Your husband was dead. You lost the love of your life, and all you got were his dog tags and a check large enough to end world hunger. You slapped your friend after she said at least you were financially secure now.
Price watched you from behind a tree. He saw how you clung to his grave, hugging it tightly and lying on it as you always used to with him. Your dress was dirty, and the tears wouldn’t come anymore.
When Laswell and Nik approached you, you screamed at them, blaming them for not protecting your husband. You trusted them, and now you couldn't bear to let anyone else near his grave. John wished he could comfort you, tell you he would come back to protect you, but he couldn’t. Instead, he sent Simon, who endured all your insults, screams, and even a punch to his crooked nose until you were ready to move on.
Kyle: You and Kyle were born on the same day, in the same room, in the same hospital. It was like a movie; he was your best friend since forever, your first everything, and you were his. It was a love like in all those movies. The only thing separating you was the military, but you stayed home waiting for him. Not even war could separate you. Last year, he brought you that ring. You remember lying in bed, cuddling him as he promised you that you were allowed to die first. He knew you wouldn’t survive his death. So he made the silly promise that you would die first. He thought it was the first promise he ever broke to you.
Kyle had to be held back when he saw you crying at his grave. “Guess I’ll find you in the next one, love. Sleep well.”
Ghost: He was never good at love, and he was sure no one would come to his funeral. No one knew "Ghost," and Simon Riley had been buried since 2009. But then he saw you, the cute medic he always tried to push away. He was afraid of hurting you or corrupting you. How could he have known that pushing you away wouldn’t stop you from loving a dead man?
All the conversations came flooding back:
"Here, Lt. I made you red velvet cookies, your favorite."
"You're going to sit down and let me fix that, idiot."
"You're beautiful, Ghost."
"You're enough."
"It's kind of silly to be in love with someone whose name you didn’t even know. I hope you find your peace, big boy." You placed lilies on his grave and left. In that moment, Simon Riley realized he was loved, and he would burn the world down to come back from the dead just to return to you.
Johnny: Contrary to popular belief among the team, Johnny wasn’t a whore. He was a loving husband and father. That was written above "Sergeant" on his grave, at least.
His funeral was crowded with people who wanted to pay their last respects. Most of them were blue-eyed MacTavishes. Then there was you, holding your three-year-old in your arms. He didn’t understand why everyone was crying or why Dad wasn’t there anymore.
Johnny watched you sit at his grave, sighing as you talked to your husband. "James doesn’t understand what’s going on, but he misses you. He wanted me to give him a mohawk. It looks ridiculous, just like you. I know you’re rocking it in heaven. Just please wait for me, okay? Don’t want you to hoe around in heaven," you chuckled, holding back the tears. "You watch us from there, right? Can’t miss the birth of your princess, can you?"
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barcaatthemoon · 6 months ago
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my hero ii || lucy bronze x teen!reader ||
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lucy begins to make it up to you.
lucy felt awful. it was obvious to everybody just how guilty lucy was feeling after blowing up at you. the team had all sided with you one way or another reminding lucy that she owed it to you to fix this. she knew that she had to, even if the team wasn't breathing down her neck to do something quickly.
you had genuinely been a very positive person in lucy's life. she had never really paid much direct attention to you, but she had noticed a lot of the things you had done to impress her. lucy wished that she could take her behavior back and coddle you, but she hadn't wanted to egg the girls on about your crush or accidentally send you the wrong message.
going too far in the other direction hadn't been the right move though. you should have been elated to have lucy's attention after trying so hard for so long in vain, but you didn't want it. you didn't want it in the gym when she asked you to spot her. you didn't want it at practice when she picked you for her team. you didn't even want it whenever you had gone down in a game against seville.
"oh my god, i'm so sorry," the player who had knocked into you apologized profusely. that didn't matter as lucy shoved her away, taking your hand in hers as she knelt down next to you.
"get away from me, bronze," you said through grit teeth. you had been on the verge of tears, but you held it in once you noticed lucy's presence near you. her words had rattled you to your core, and you wouldn't be able to put them past you for a long time. that was why, despite how nice lucy's comfort was, you tried your hardest to push yourself away from it.
"i know that i haven't earned it yet, but don't push me away. don't try to handle this yourself, it never works, trust me," lucy said. she sat herself right next to you and wrapped her arm around your shoulders. it was awkward, and for the first time in a while, lucy realized that you were physically a lot bigger than her. "i'm not going to ask you what hurts because enough people are about to do that. where did you get that bracelet?"
"vicky and i made them at alexia's when everybody else went to the club. ingrid and mapi have the ones that i made them," you told her. lucy smiled as her distraction seemed to be working. she kept talking to you while the medics moved you onto a stretcher. "ingrid is going to come on for you. i know that you don't want me back there, so ona and alexia are going with you."
"thanks bronze," you said as formally as you could. you were taken completely off, both ona and alexia following you back. the tears flowed freely in their company, but neither woman mentioned it.
"i noticed that you and lucy were talking for a while," ona said hopefully. you knew what she wanted to hear, but a quick shake of your head put those hopes to rest. "pequena, i am not telling you to do anything, but please consider giving lucy another chance."
"i can't ona. i look at her and all i can hear are those stupid words that she said to me. every move i make is affected by them," you told her. it was tough to admit that you were still struggling with overcoming the insults that lucy had hurled your way. she had been your hero once, and you couldn't imagine doing that to anybody who you knew looked up to you. "i don't want to talk about this anymore, not with you or anybody else."
"understood. ona, will you bring this to jona please," alexia said. she handed the envelope with the medical team's official diagnosis after your scans and tests. ona nodded and walked away, leaving you all alone with alexia.
"that meant you too," you grumbled as alexia moved to stand in front of you. she placed her hands on your shoulders, forcing you to sit still and face her.
"i won't make you talk about how lucy made you feel right now. i want to know how you feel about your injury. it's your first one, and you're really starting off strong," alexia said. there was a bit of a teasing lilt to her voice, one that helped you to relax. you would have been going crazy thinking about being out as long as you were supposed to be for the dislocated hip.
"i feel like i'm one wrong move away from the nursing home," you joked. alexia smiled as she pulled you in for a hug. somehow, she knew the joke was a deflection. unfortuantely for you, you couldn't stop the tears once they had begun. you let out a lot more than you meant to as you clung to alexia. "can i still sit in at practice?"
"of course you can, we'd all miss you too much otherwise."
lucy tweaks her knee at the very next practice. you can tell that she had done something to it before that by the look most of the other girls give her. the curiosity is killing you, so you hobble your way down to the physio rooms while lucy is stuck icing her knee.
"both of us know that you can take a hit like that and run it off. what did you do on the team's night out?" you carefully lowered yourself into a chair. it was close enough to maintain a conversation with lucy, but far away enough that you didn't feel trapped.
"i can't tell you that, no way," lucy said. you furrowed your eyebrows as you stared at her. it was something that you had learned from alexia, but unfortunately for you, despite your intimidating size, lucy just saw you as a little kid. "you're the team baby, ona and alexia would kill me. it's nothing personal."
"i am not a baby!" you raised your voice at lucy as your stare grew a little bit more intense.
"you're right, and i am sorry for saying that (y/n). i'm sorry for ignoring you because of a few stupid jokes, and i am so sorry for yelling at you like that. c-can i explain myself?" lucy asked you.
"if you tell me what you did first." lucy huffed as she adjusted herself on the medical bench.
"fine, i tweaked my knee in bed with ona. she saw something and wanted to try it. remember to always stretch before any physical activity, not that you'll be doing any of that any time soon," lucy said. you could hear the jovial tone of her warning, which was the only reason you didn't get onto her for babying you.
"gross, now you can explain yourself." you had let out a little gag, one that made both of you chuckle a bit.
"i got scared when we collided. it was my fault, and i didn't expect you to be so solid. i though that i had really hurt myself for a moment, and every bit of frustration came bubbling up. my knees, they've been getting worse and worse."
"yeah, i've noticed," you muttered under your breath. "is it going to happen with my hips since i've dislocated them so young?"
"if you rest and let them heal properly, it won't be nearly as bad. i've always been an impulsive shit. don't tell the team that i've told you this, but find yourself someone like keira. if it wasn't for her looking out for me, i would have had to retire by now," lucy said. she didn't like to admit her faults, but lucy had never been good at resting. she didn't want to see you in the kind of pain that she felt some days, it broke her heart to think that she had even caused you any pain in the first place.
"can i trust you to keep a secret?" you asked. lucy nodded, sitting forward for a bit of gossip. "there is a girl, we met at national camp for the u-17s. she, uh, she plays for athletico madrid's b-team."
"do you want me to get out of your hair so that you can call her?" lucy offered. you shook your head, already having texted her. "does anybody else know?"
"no, my parents have been taking me to see her," you said shyly. you had wanted to tell many of the girls on the team, but for some reason, you went straight to lucy. you definitely weren't ready to completely forgive her, but you did notice a change in the way that she was treating you.
your first game back saw you put in a position that you'd never tried before, right back. lucy was benched after a knee surgery, and at first, you had been terrified about taking her spot. you had nearly begged someone else to ask for it instead, but jona and the rest of the team believed that it was perfect for you.
"this game will be a bit rough, vale?" alexia was even more nervous for your comeback than you were. el classico matches were rough, and you were fresh off of a pretty bad injury. still, you were prepared for this. those girls weren't going to know what hit them as they came your way.
"trust me, they're more likely to hurt themselves than her," lucy said as she put her arm around your shoulders. you were about to send her a glare when you stopped yourself. the two of you had gotten a lot closer working on your recoveries together. lucy had learned the things that you had wanted from her in the first place. she was happy to give praise where it was deserved.
"yeah ale, i've been hitting the gym," you said with a dramatic flex of your arms. alexia smacked the back of your head, but left you alone. "guess i should get out there."
"yeah, you go out there and show that madrid crowd the future best rightback in the world," lucy said. she ruffled your hair a little and shoved you away.
you left your heart and soul out there on the pitch. madrid didn't have a lot of opportunities, especially ocne they realized that they couldn't just barrel through the new player. you had a lot of help from your backline, and a very protective alexia who nearly got herself thrown out of the game. all in all, you were more than happy with your debut in your new position, even if a part of you wished that lucy had been next to you on the field.
"come on, you've got an interview." claudia tugged you away excitedly. you stumbled a little as you were led in front of a camera. rapid questions were shot at you about the game, and you struggled to keep up. your brain was exhausted, but you kept going because that was what you had to do.
"you said once that you grew up a soccer fan. who was your biggest influence?" you glanced into the stands as the interviewer asked their question. your eyes met lucy's as she talked with some of the real madrid b team girls, obviously trying to scope out your girlfriend. you chuckled to yourself at the knowledge that she'd come back without her answer. those girls were going to keep your secret no matter what.
"lucy bronze. my mother was a good english woman and took me to the lioness games when she could. i have been lucky enough to practice with my hero, and i hope that we can play together soon. things were not always easy, but i am the best version of myself because of her help." you felt good about your answer, not thinking about how many of your teammates would see it. you didn't have to think about it much until you were arriving back in barcelona after the game.
your parents had agreed on a sleepover at patri and pina's with bruna, jana, and vicky. a few of the older girls would be stopping by to hang out a little, but most likely not staying over. you were waiting for your overnight bag to be unloaded when you felt someone hug you from behind tightly.
"what the hell?" you questioned as you nearly fell over.
"you've got a way with making me feel like a real shithead. i am so sorry for ignoring you and being mean. i swear i'll never do it again, never ever," lucy promised you. you were about to make fun of her when you noticed the genuine tears in her eyes. "i am so proud of you, (y/n)."
"thank you lucy, it means a lot." you turned around in lucy's arms for a better hug. the moment was nice while it lasted, but then bruna was dragging you away while patri carried your bag for you. things felt a little chaotic with everybody talking over each other to finalize the plans, but all you cared about was getting to the sleepover to unwind a little bit.
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igotanidea · 6 months ago
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The little bean: Anthony Bridgerton x pregnant!wife!reader
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A/N: So..... After my "Too much" series I've been asked to do something with Antony and pregnancy trope. And since 1) I got baby fever and 2) Bridgertons are back, there is no better time than now.
***
“Y/N, my love, what are you doing?”
“I’m holding a book…?”
Ever since Y/N found out she was pregnant with the heir (which she would rather address as her precious little baby, instead of giving him titles before he or she was even born) Anthony entered right into an overprotective mood. If anything he would just keep her home, away from any prying eyes, that – in his opinion – might somehow take a look inside, at his baby and perhaps, see the little one before it came into the view of a proud viscount father.
Y/N could barely walk around the Bridgerton household, let alone the garden, without her husband chasing after her with a very concerned look, ready to carry her wherever she wished, just so that her feet wouldn’t touch the ground.
There were so many dangers on the way after all.
Wild animals. (i.e. bees, dogs and strays cats)
Speeding carriages.
Stones on which she might trip and fall.
Too much sun.
Too little sun.
And worst of all-
Members of the ton.
It was merely the first trimester and viscountess was torn between calming Anthony down (tactfully avoiding the information that the next months will be much more challenging) or just rushing away to her mother-in-law (yet, again) to seek aid in keeping him in check.
And just when she thought the oldest Bridgerton could not get any more obsessive, he took the lecture she was reading out of her hands.
“My dear, you cannot carry such weights. It’s straining and I am to protect you from threats.”
“It’s a book…” she frowned a little, but not without a hint of amusement in her voice
“It’s heavy.”  
“It's a 200 page novel…”
“It’s heavy.” Anthony’s voice was gentle, but firm. Both demanding and pleading.
“Anthony…”
“Y/N.”
“I can hold my own book.”
“We got servants for that.  In fact – let me call upon your maid and –“ he started walking towards the door in sheer purpose to liberate his dearest wife from the unnecessary burden.
Nonetheless his dearest wife had quite a different plan, reaching to grab his hand and stopping him in his tracks.
“My love. Please, come. Let us sit.” She guided him to the ottoman, still keeping the soft touch that was grounding to him.
Much to her surprise Anthony rushed to the furniture first, fixing pillows and blankets so Y/N could sit comfortably. And apparently that word, in his language, meant sitting half a meter in the air, covered from head to toe, regardless of the perfect spring weather outside.
“Here. Perfect.” He flashed a perfect smile, content with the spot he made for her.
“Anthony…”
“Yes, my love?” as he spun around meeting with her desperate look, the smile slowly disappeared from his face. “Y/N? Are you not feeling well?” Anthony grabbed both her hands in his, searching her face for any symptoms of malaise, dizziness, nausea. “Do you need some water? Or-“
“No, no, Anthony, please just listen to me for a moment-“
“Perhaps I should call upon Daphne, she already had a child of her own and she would be of help. Or maybe my mother could-“
“Anthony!” she laughed whole-heartedly at his  feverishness “I am not going to give birth in the fourth month of pregnancy! Please just calm down.”
“Just say a word and I’ll call for a medic immediately. Do not fret my dearest, I will take the best care of you. I swear on my life that-“
At that moment Y/N used the most effective way to stop his blubbering in the form of putting his hand on her slightly rounded belly in which their baby was healthily growing.
“Shh.” She whispered, putting her own palm on top of Anthony's, calming him down, letting him caress the stomach in hope to make him calm down. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay. I don’t need medic. Nor your mother. And certainly not your younger sister. I am feeling good and the only thing that concerns me is my husband's distress over nothing.”
“Nothing? You are carrying our baby!”
“And our baby needs his father to stop fretting.”
“But-“
“Here!” her eyes grew wide as she guided his hand to another place “did you feel it?”
“Was it--?” Anthony’s face expression mirrored the one of his wife.
“It kicked…” she whispered as their gazes met and for a second that extended into eternity, they just kept looking into each other’s eyes expressing so many feelings.
And then, almost as if in a dream, Anthony fell to his knees in front of Y/N, pressing his head into her belly.
“Our baby.” He whispered, kissing her body through the material of the dress. “our little baby.” He wrapped arms around her midsection with his ear pressed to the home of the child, almost hoping to hear him or her inside.
“Our baby…” she repeated with tears in her eyes. Despite knowing and obviously – feeling the imminent arrival of the new family member it was the first time she actually felt and knew. And it was beautiful. Her little bean was really there. Growing and waiting for the right moment to appear in the world, landing right into the waiting, safe arms of loving mother and father.      
“Do you think it can hear us?” Anthony pressed one ear to her stomach, his entire face lighting up at the possibility.
“Depends.” She chuckled
“On what?” his eyes travelled up to meet hers.
“If I say yes, will that mean you start talking to my insides?”
Anthony smirked.
“I will do that, even if you say no.”
“Then why the question?”
“Testing your knowledge.”
“I am not a doctor, Anthony. My expertise in the area might be a little limited.”
“Very well. Then give me an answer as a mother, not a medic.”
“Yes. Yes, I think it can hear us.” She cupped Anthony’s cheek in the affectionate gesture. There was something utterly heartening in seeing him like this. Holding her (and/or the baby) like she was the most precious thing in the world, needing the assurance that his child was already reaching to him.
That it could hear him, even if it wasn’t even born yet. Hoping for the love of the Lord that it was truly happening. That in a few months, that were going to pass by with extraordinary speed, the little one, a girl or a boy, would take a corporal form. That the viscount would not only be a noble and a husband but would also take on the new role – a father. A protector. Caregiver. A teacher, guardian and a guide. That somehow – his life would be complete. He’ll have his own little family. Something that was nearly impossible to him a few years prior.
And now-
“Anthony…” Y/N whispered, wiping a single tear from his eyes. “Sweetheart, what is wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing is wrong, love. It’s all perfect.”
“Then why are you-?”
“I’m not.” He cleared his throat and gathered himself.
“Of course not.” She laughed softly brushing his hair. “But if you’d want to actually talk to the baby, that would stay in this little circle.”
Anthony smiled lovingly, grateful for having his miracle of a woman in his life. She understood him so perfectly well.
“We’re waiting for you, little one.” He whispered against her attire, with a little muffled voice, be it from emotions or closeness of his lips on her body. “You are already loved by two people, with more to come.”
‘You can say it Anthony…” Y/N whispered, knowing what he was holding back.
“I love you my little one.” The viscount whispered with the softest voice, caressing the place where the kick was previously felt.
And they stood like that for a while longer, enjoying that moment of joy and thinking about the future that looked quite bright. 
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