#i wish i wasn't poor
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My cats tooth broke and the root is still in his mouth. He needs an extraction but because hes an older cat they need to do blood work to see if he can be under anesthesia and he has ti stay with them overnight. Its gonna cost $1,152 and theres no way i can pay that. Thats literally my whole check for 2 weeks but i can't leave him like this.
1. Even if hes not showing it i know he's in pain.
2. It can lead to an infection that can literally kill him if it gets too serious.
Like idk what to do. Ive applied for credit that helps for things like this and got denied. Even if i get a second job that would take too long to get the money i need. Im so fucking worried because i dont want anything to happen to blaze but i don't have the money to get him better.
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SO PRETTYYY <3 <3 <3 <3 I love them this is beautiful. The colors 😻
lost in forever's embrace
(art prints)
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I wanna try LSD so bad 😞
#i wish i wasn't poor#poor life#monyless era#broke asthetic#i want money#and drugs#like for real anyone wanna send me some?#no?#okay#had to try#drugs mention#LSD#weed#tw alchoholism
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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my two cents are that people outside of finland (and even the more left-leaning circles in finland) are not really taking into account that an average person here doesn’t know jack shit about israel or palestine. the first and only time either of them got mentioned in my 12 years of schooling (i’m a few years younger than jere) was an optional history course focusing on post-ww2 history in my final year of high shcool. jere went to vocational school and they don’t teach history at all there so he’s relying on his junior high education which isn’t saying much considering he’s said multiple times he didn’t pay attention at school.
it doesn’t help that the mainstream reporting (which he’s forced to rely on since he doesn’t speak fluent enough english) about the palestinian genocide has been frustratingly neutral and both-sides-y here in finland. obviously some of that is due to journalistic ethics and responsibilities because our news medias can’t get their reporters within gaza’s borders and they can’t report on things unless the information comes from a reputable source or they can fact check them.
all this is to say that i'm willing to bet actual money he doesn’t even know the definition of genocide in finnish, not to mention IDF or zionism or even judaism. those things are simply not taught here and the idea of him being a zionist is laughable. i studied anthropology at university and the amount of times i’ve had to explain fairly simple concepts like colonialism or genocide to people, even highly-educated ones, is staggering. and i didn’t really understand those things either before i went to university. finland used to love to rave about our PISA scores but the truth is that the level of basic education here has been really poor for decades.
#käärijä#i’ve seen people wish he’d get educated on the matter which is fair and valid#but i can’t help but wonder how exactly given how poor the basis of his education likely is#he’s not going to be able to get through a book or even an article unless he has someone there to explain things to him#in any case you can't educate people by getting aggressive when they don’t know things#also most of the current information is in english and it's not accessible unless you're fluent#and in case it wasn't clear i'm not trying to excuse his actions cause this definitely wasn't his brightest moment#just offering some perspective here#also i specifically mention history because i think knowing how israel became a nation is crucial to understanding the current situation
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Times like this when I find this make me wish I wasn't poor, or that I had a job to have money.. TwT ur art is very cool Seb!!
Character design commissions!! DM me on here or fill out this google form for more information!
#I wish I wasn't poor#wish I had money#cool art#artist#go support them#go support this artist#wish I could commission
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Okay so I've held onto this one for quite a while bc I was self-conscious ab my art style and how it doesn't look nearly as good as a ton of other prohibited wish artists on here but I think it's time to share it-
I had this idea in my head and I just needed to get it out sooo um.
Sorry for the pain
Also I was testing out how I draw maskless Scarab (which is partially inspired by the INCREDIBLE @time-woods's design for their Carma sorry for the @ I just wanted to credit you for the inspo- btw) so it's changed a bit since I drew this bc Ive gotten more used to drawing him-
I have a ton more art in my backlog I'm just,,, self-conscious lol. trying to get better-
PLEASE [tumblr] fix the quality when I post this bc it looks like ass in the editor as Im looking at it rn
#prohibitedwish#prohibited wish#the scarab#scarab the god auditor#prismo the wishmaster#prismo x scarab#adventure time#fionna and cake#this is intended to be implied prisjake in case that wasn't clear#in my mind and in the context of this it was like. A crush that was never verbalized bc Prismo didnt want to put that pressure on him#with 1. Jake already having a partner and 2. the power imbalance inherent with Prismo being a god and Jake being a mortal#I have a lot of thoughts ab them lol#Poor Prismo is not coping#tw character death#tw implied character death#my art#scarlet speaks#scarlet draws
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I fucking did it again
And by "it" I mean opening a document in my "Yo Han's POV" folder of Who Holds the Devil and stumbling over a section I'd forgotten I'd written (or blocked out, more likely). So, for your enjoyment in these trying post-chapter 39 times:
"Sometimes, Yo Han wondered what that must feel like — to be loved so fiercely and wholeheartedly by someone else. Especially someone like Ga On, whose emotions were as wild and unstoppable as they were genuine. He couldn't seem to curb them even if he tried.
It must be breathtaking to be loved by someone like him.
And, blinded by his own idiocy, Yo Han had allowed himself to hope. For a little while, he'd honestly thought he had a chance — that he might get to find out what that would be like. That, just maybe, the emotions he saw flashing past in Ga On's eyes meant something.
He should have known better."
#Amethystina Writes#But DEAR LORD does she wish she wasn't#Who Holds the Devil#The Gentle Light#Tbh I haven't written anything since I posted chapter 39#But I was hoping to maybe convince myself to try by opening up some documents and reading through my notes#But then got this thrown in my face#And now I have regrets x'D#This was NOT a part of the plan#And I even gave the document a title this time#A quote from Faust#And it fucking wrecked me when I saw it#'Poor devil what can you give?'#I'm clearly going for the jugular
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shoutout to Nicasia for being the only one who figured out Jude was the mastermind behind the coup. Orlagh, Madoc, and Balekin, the Big Brained Centuries Old Antagonists, as well as the rest of Elfhame, all convinced her she was wrong so she gave up on trying to prove it after a while but the way she made Jude sweat was soooo girlbosses supporting girlbosses
#k calling balekin big brained is a stretch but he is supposed to know more about the entire thing than NICASIA#everyone else was like ''oh poor little jude tangled in a situation she isn't capable of handling all because she was useful that one time'#while nicasia was foaming at the mouth screaming ''NO YOU DON'T GET IT IT WAS HER IT WASN'T CARDAN SHE DID SOMETHING TO FORCE HIM INTO IT''#man i love twk. by far the best of the trilogy. what a cool book#tfota liveblog#now i could keep going and monologue about how repeatedly across books cardan and nicasia know each other so well and know how each is gonn#act or react in a situation and how the reason she was the only one who knew the truth was because she was the only one who got to see his#vulnerabilities and wishes but i'm not gonna do that bc it's 2 am <3<3<3<3<3
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reading AITAs to do with abortion is so painful because the question will be "Am I in the wrong for pressuring my 16yo daughter to get an abortion?" and the answers will all be "No, of course no one can expect you not to burden the girl with this for the rest of her life because you feel her child will be a burden on you" and "Tell her horror stories about pregnancy and being a single mother; that'll frighten her into compliance 😊💖😚"
#this is without even mentioning the Child in question#but let's be real all of them are pro aborts who would ridicule anyone suggesting they take it into account#... also that one post where someone was asking aita for abandoning my gf cause she wouldn't have an abortion#and the answers were 'yta for not being sterilised but since the child is there it's her responsibility'#if it wasn't a year old post I'd have had some choice Victorian words to say to that man#You my sir are the very example of an adominable cad and I wouldn't wish you on your girlfriend because you are clearly not worth anyone's#trust but also the barest decency you clearly don't possess would OBLIGE you to financially support the poor woman#for the rest of your miserable unworthy life#but it's a year old post so I'm ranting into the void here#therese rambles#pro life
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animal jam is a lot more fun when you're rich
#seriously notp is making me RICH on ajpw#i can get like. one corruption orb per hour of playing dungeons. the super sweets prizes?? got an alpha after like 5 rounds. got soo many#rares from that too.....#and now i'm like. oh i want to play as a dragon? don't have to wait two weeks to save the sapphires! i can buy it now!!#looking for a cool specific piece of clothing for my outfit? i can just buy it right now!! without worrying about the price!!!#i'm seriously considering buying an alpha. just like. snooping on explorer looking at the different wizard hats for when i sell mines#(i'm not That rich lol)#kind of disappointing anyways. like. it's easy to grind this stuff when you're not a kid but it must take so long for kids to do this!!#most of the people in this game get rich by paying money!! and like#i was always a nm on classic and while they are definitely more pay to play it was like. you could have so much fun and still be poor#play wild it's like. you do get all these features but so much of it is focused on Buying. like the only non purchase stuff i can think of#is crafting ???? and the phantom dungeons.. and the minigames. and talking to people i guess.#but like honestlyyy people only really care about the items and getting items and what items are coming out next month?? and what animals??#what new effects can i get for my pets for my items??? AUGHHHHHHHHHHHH#idk. idk. i know animal jam is far past its glory days and it needs to do this to survive. and i definitely do not want this game to die.#but it is really going full capitalism mode. and i think the content and the players and the devs are really suffering from that. idk.#jamblr#i do really enjoy doing the nonogram puzzles and i absolutely love the dungeons. i'm glad they give me stuff to sell. but man. i kind of ju#t wish it wasn't so much like this yknow#ramblings#bangers
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should probably stop being nosy and going into tags of posts but like. people are misunderstanding me im afraid 😭 i said if youre desexualizing a female character and think the boobs look too big for her body in canon you shouldn't be afraid to make her fatter to make the proportions realistic. like you shouldn't just. chop the boobs off yknow. and now everyone is talking about how it's bad to make a character fat in a desexualized design if it's for the purpose of desexualization WHICH YEAH I AGREE but like. i think it's safe to say my words were decidedly Not for people who already believe desexualizing characters by making them fat is Good. maybe? i don't know man i'm just a guy on the internet </3
#வார்த்தைகள்#like i truly don't care at the end of the day it's fine. and this isn't exactly a Piss On The Poor type thing but still feels kind of.#adjacent in the sense of not reading my words right idk?#like it's a good point to make just wish it wasn't like...implied to be directed at what i said?? lol
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lmao garfield butch looking for their arlene fem
context
CRYING i'll find her someday....
#ask#anon#AAAA i should have also had my garfield plush in the picture just so they know im serious#i would also love an odie butch my heart is full of love for everyone#i wish arlenes design wasn't so bad poor femmes#like why she look like that#why is she pink in a world full of normal colored cats did she play in toxic waste#i think nermal is kinda femme right? is that based or delusional#idk let me know what you think femmes#^ my trick to get fems to talk to me
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my silly viera wol alt bc reasons uwu
#very messy tablet doodle could be better but eh it's something lol#anyways ye this is my edgy bunboi alt whom I like very much#it's about the vibes#I guess#if you don't get the vibes then congratulations I envy you I wish I wasn't so hung up on them tbh geez#ye he's silly af but I'm just having fun so lol#and really he doesn't look all that silly ingame I'm just projecting nonsense quite a lot I guess ha#his hair is actually black with purple details not all dark purple but I improvised and it ended up like that so eh#it works I suppose#he ninja'd his way up through hw danced through sb and is now reaping his way through shb and beyond yeehaw#shame his favorite facemask is bound to ninja only though bc the one he has to use as reaper is so clunky but eh it works#and there's always the bandana options for variety I guess ha#gonna continue through shb with this guy soon when I get the time#catboy's 'bout to ruin this poor bunman's life even more letsgooo#anyways enough random rambling sorry#enjoy or don't it's whatever#ffxiv viera#wol#idk if I should tag the finger flipping but eh let me know if I should I guess idk lol#I draw what I want#also unrelated but go stream DISDAIN on your platform of choice or don't I'm not your mom but either way yay music highly recommend yessir#anyways next artpost will be bombeep or at least fnf related in some way I swear to jeebus#fingers crossed something'll be doodled soon yeehaw
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saw someone unironically saying "rhinedottir fed nigredo to durin to make nigredo grow better and stronger because durin's stomach is actually nurturing like hummus 😊😊😊" god if you're up there can you revoke this person's rights to speak about rhinedottir, or any morally questionable girlboss for that matter. if you can't accept that a lady had her son swallow her other son whole then just move onto characters who are actually nice instead of rewriting the actually not so good characters to fit your imaginary narrative better.
#rhine rambling tag#rhinedottir#i swear to god no one has it worse than rhinedottir fans we're in the FUCKING TRENCHES#if it's not people claiming rhinedottir is gonna be an eden or black swan or mobius or whatever honkai girl expy#or saying she's a descender because of that one “flower that is not of this world” line WHICH WAS DEBUNKED SINCE 2. FUCKING 3#its people doing olympics levels of mental gymnastics to convince themselves and everyone else that she's not a horrible person.#SHE IS. THAT'S LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT#god. reminds me of an ex-friend of mine that was 100% convinced scara was a psychopath who would turn evil and sadistic after 3.3#and downright saying that the “little doll” story should have been deleted because it didn't fit THEIR interpretation of scara#that was based entirely in wishful thinking and poor misconceptions that have been cleared up PATCHES AGO.#but they just COULDN'T accept that scaramouche wasn't this inherently murderous goth sadistic mommy kinda character#and called ME and MY FRIEND *DELUSIONAL*#last time i spoke to them they said that neuvillette would never cry because he uhh didnt understand his emotions??? WHAT#THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS MAYBE IF YOU WERENT BUSY CRANKING IT TO SCARAMOUCHE IN NURSE LINGERIE YOU'D ACTUALLY KNOW WHO THE CHARACTERS **ARE**#aight that was quite the tangent#ok new tag#rhine hating
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Girl on twitter posting comics about "transmasc dysphoria" and it's just about how she didn't get to play video games as a kid and that makes her sad
The added "this is totally not girls like x/boys like y" but then says it's upsetting to know video games weren't marketed towards her cause she wasn't a boy and it's like
I feel really bad for her but also it's like.....I can't understand not seeing the forest for the trees here like.....girl....
#blogging#sexism#I am also sad I didn't understand a lot of video game shit growing up#and that it wasn't marketed towards me.#But that's cause video games are fun and my family wasn't each savvy and the companies are sexist.#You are upset that you missed out on a cool and fun childhood experience because you were a girl and not a boy.#And instead of saying like#well if the game companies were less sexist I would have gotten that experience maybe.#You just wish you were a boy.#Like you know there's lots of poor actual boys or boys who's parents weren't tech savvy who also had the same experience right?#If this isn't 'boys like y' then you wouldn't be feeling this alleged dysphoria now would you?#Also jfc the way dysphoria has been watered down by these people.#Rip people with actual se dysphoria I guess lol.#Anyways Twitter is bad.#Good morning!
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