#i wish i was joking but i was legit always like this

[thelovelywriteress]

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It's been a while since you and Sakura started to date each other. Though you both were still awkward with each other. Most romantic gesture you exchanged was handshaking. You know this all was WAY too new for Sakura but still sometimes you wished your relationship to be more daring, atleast more than handshake.

You were walking with your hand in your arm. You were in your own lands of wondered, you didn't notice the Bofurin was on their daily patrol, especially not Sakura though he did. He always managed to find you even when you DON'T, he always DID.

"Isn't that (Name)-san?" Neirei catch where Sakura was glancing, on hearing his name Sakura almost hissed like a cat. He was fine silently staring at you when you were in your own thoughts, he find that cute but no wait, point is he didn't want his companion to point it out.

He just fasten his pace, acting like he wasn't interested in your presence but Suo wasn't having his ignorance,"Sakura-kun shouldn't you go and say hi to her?" He offered with his usual smile as Sakura let out a embarrassed reaction to his suggestion. Sakura was about to give some excuse but Suo already throw his attack,"(Name) noticed your presence, how sad she will when she will realised you don't even care enough to─" And before he could complete his sentence, Sakura already dashed pass the Suo towards your direction.

Guess boy take no chances when it comes to you.

You still didn't notice the boy approaching you but your cat sure did as she jumped out of your arm,"Hey─" You stopped when you realised she stopped in front of your dual hair boyfriend. Sakura looked down at the cat who seems to be excited upon seeing him. He picked it up and come closer to you.

"H-Hey Sakura!" Damn why you have to stutter and say it loudly. You probably looked like you didn't notice him coming. He return your greeting AND your cat back to you,"You should hold her tightly." He suggest while you give a small laugh,"Yeah. She almost made me drown yesterday." You intended to share your experience as joke but Sakura was concerned by your words and ask you to explain it further,"Well she keep running around and I keep chasing her like crazy, at same point she reached the bridge and almost made herself and me fall." You laughed at the memory but Sakura didn't,"B-BUT I am f-fine now." You exclaimed nervously while Sakura didn't looked convinced, he just ask you to see your surroundings better.

"I will go now." He said as he put out his hand, you know what was he expecting and return his gesture. Oh how you wished instead of hand meeting hand, it was lips meeting lips. Even though you wanted to experience it, mere thought of it made steam coming out of your eyes.

"It's embarrassing but I still want to experience it already one." You pouted a bit as your gaze fall on your cat in your arms. You hold her in front of her and demand her help,"I take care of you so goodly, shouldn't you return favour by using your cat power and made me and Sakura kiss?" What were you expecting a legit yes from her? Well too bad it didn't happened. You soon realised too how much crazy you sound and put her back in your arms but suddenly she jumped out again and started to run,"Hey wait!"

Sakura was getting fed up now. Neirei keep him asking about how things between you and him work while Suo just keep him teasing.

"Shut up!" "Meow."

"Sakura-kun see your yell got us getting us complained by cat." Suo state as Neirei giggled in back, Sakura was about to yell again but cat meowed again. Sakura turn towards it and remember this familiar cat,"You are (Name)'s cat!" Sakura exclaimed while other two sweatdrop at him. Why was he sound like he just find out her identity as some suspect. Cat just meow again and started to walk away,"Where are you going?" Sakura walked behind the cat, followed by his other two companions.

Suddenly cat increased her speed and so does Sakura. It keep going on until it become official─"Sakura chasing a running cat." Sakura called the cat to come back, he imagined how worried you must be. Your worried face boost his speed. Cat started to jump on bulidings and walls but Sakura still keep with it untill at one corner he lost her sight but even though he keep looking for her.

"Come back I promise I will expensive food this time." You said, hoping for it to work,"Meow." Guess it did. You saw your cat at a corner and run towards it. Though when you reached she was already out of sight, you followed the sound of her meows.

"There you are!" Sakura also noticed her and run towards it to chased while cat quickly run on your side and after making sure you saw her she started to climb tree,"No don't go there." Last time she climbed a tree, you had to use ladder to bring her down. You climbed behind her and when you thought you finally catch her she jumped on other tree,"AND NOW YOU'RE NOT SCARED?" She keep jumping while meowing as you followed her behind, Sakura was also coming near by following soud of meow.

Cat quickly jumped down and landed in front of Sakura who quickly launched towards him but at same moment you jumped in front of and you both collide with Sakura falling over you. You both feel pain through you body but that quickly vanished when you realised the approximately between each other.

When you were collide, Sakura knew he couldn't prevent the falling so he instinctly wrapped his hands around you to protect you. That was quick reflex of movement but now when it's stable you guys started to blush like crazy. When if he wanted to pull his hands, he can't since they were beneath you.

"S-SORRY!"

"Don't move!"

Your eyes turn spiral as you tried to wake against Sakura's comment which end up you putting hand on your shoulder and forcing him downwards, towards you and that's where whole scene take unexpected turn.

If this whole situation wasn't messed, the fact you made Sakura's lips crashed on you sure was.

Both of yours eyes widened. It wasn't romantic kiss like on dates. It wasn't hot kiss that make you forgot your surroundings. It wasn't quick kiss you give out of love. It was were merely his lips meeting yours for mere seconds but still it was the FIRST KISS you shared with each other. You both stare at each other as Sakura pulled back his face while your cat meowed. You both brought your gaze towards the cat as she meowed again, with a hint of delight.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!"

And now some reason you both separate from each other without any accidentally kissing, just to yell at the innocent cat with red hues rising on your face. Such ungrateful beings humans are.

You both accidentally catch the each other's gaze as yell of flusteration left your mouths.

"SORRY!"

Neirei and Suo soon catch up and Suo quickly grabbed the cat. He check the collar and found you were the owner, no wonder why Sakura was chasing it like crazy.

"Hey where is your owner and her boyfriend?" Suo said with his usual playful tone while Neirei laugh at his tactics before walking further on the way.

"SAKURA-SAN! (NAME)-SAN!" And there Neirei find the two familiar unmoving bodies laying at opposite sides. Neirei check the Sakura he seems to be black out with his face being red as tomato while Suo check the owner of cat who's eyes seems to spin like spiral.

"What the hell did we miss?"

"Meow~"

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[junkartie]

The funniest thing ever is that in my baby album my mom made for me between the ages of 0-6 theres a little section for “favorite game” that you fill in yourself and its literally “afraid girl” in reference to silent hill 3 because as an actual fucking infant i would cry until my mom would sit down and play silent hill so i could watch. That is my autism diagnosis fr

[solradguy]

Some clowns are posting about it in the tag and I've gotten a bunch of new followers recently interested in GG Strive, so I just wanna take a sec and remind everyone that Strive's arcade mode, the part of the game where Bridget (with encouragement from Goldlewis and Ky to decide for herself how she wishes to identify) decides that she is a girl after all, doesn't have "bad" endings. It's not like the last games where certain routes lead to really obviously unfortunate outcomes. Bridget being referred to with she/her pronouns in text (like her official bio and ArcSys tweets) confirms that the ending where she realizes that she is a girl after all is her canon ending for the arcade mode. ArcSys do their localization (ie, translations) in-house so saying it's a mistranslation doesn't have even a toe to stand on either.

And for the love of all life PLEASE stop using machine translators for Japanese. They are all notoriously bad at Japanese because of how nuanced the language is. Yes, even DeepL.

[tellmeallaboutit]

knock knock (Raphael x F!Player)

Chapter 2, In Which You Meet A Tall Dark Stranger 

Chapter 1

SUMMARY: Careful which mods you install for BG3. Did you read the terms and conditions carefully?

TAGS: meta romance, psychological horror, smut, the character is the player, Raphael is after you, you wanted him, you invited him to our world, he accepted your invitation

RATING: explicit

AO3

Chapter 2

The next day, during your lunch break, you made another attempt to persuade Raphael to take his clothes off. The clock struck noon; your private laptop was on the right side of your desk, while your work laptop was on the left, Teams open and your mouse ready to show signs of activity from time to time.

The sun was shining through the wide open window, children playing outside. Idyllic. Nothing sinister could be happening in broad daylight with those happy sounds in the background. The horror movies told you so. Except for Midsommar.

Well, screw Midsommar, then. This isn’t Sweden.

"All right, I'm going to set some ground rules here," you said to the loading screen. "I can be as creepy as I want to be to you, because you're just a bunch of pixels, but you can't do anything creepy to me, because I'm a human being. Got that? Good."

The sound of your voice made you feel braver.

As you heard the familiar sinister 'you-let-the-villain-win-bad-player' music in the background, you covered your eyes with your hands and peered through splayed fingers.

Then he appeared. Just as you had wished. Perfectly naked, with a stereotypical video game six-pack and just the right amount of body hair. The orange lighting made his skin glow, and his flaccid penis, like that of the game's generic male model, vanished from sight as he strode closer.

Your ears pricked up to listen to the scripted monologue you knew by heart, watching (waiting?) for any hiccups or new animations, the YouTube app on your phone playing the identical scene for comparison.

Everything happened exactly as it should, word for word, save for the speaker’s nudity.

All good. You breathed a sigh of relief and spread your fingers wider to admire Raphael a little better. 

Same as always. Handsome and charming and completely imaginary, which, now that you thought about it, was the biggest part of his charm. 

"Ta-ta... for now," Raphael's signature line echoed through the room.

"Bravo, Raphael," you praised the screen. "You've done nothing creepy. You have earned your title of Archdevil Supreme."

After waiting for a response that never came, you laughed off your silliness and shook your head. Your laptop was overheating, giving off a slight synthetic smell. Should have upgraded a long time ago. Just need to put enough money aside.

"OK, screenshots," you said. "I wanted to take some screenshots. Do you mind, Raphael? Can I have your consent? They’ll help recruit more followers for you, my liege."

Your phone vibrated. The FaceID gave you a preview of the Discord messages from Queen-of-the-Bored, one of the few Raphaelites you'd actually spoken to directly and felt like you kinda sorta knew.

queen-of-the-bored: ngl that was some really funny joke, we spent the whole night trying to recreate it :-D queen-of-the-bored: you sounded legit worried over that voice message tho haha you: it was legit. check the reddit thread queen-of-the-bored: which thread

Ok, let me google that for you. You typed in the same search words as yesterday, "Raphael naked mod April prank," clicked on the thread from yesterday, and skimmed through the comments.

“nah not joking there is this naked mod for teenage mutant ninja""

“all dongs appeared MASSIVE on April’s first”

Scrolling further, you realized that was not the correct Raphael - it's Raphael the Turtle, not Raphael the Devil. Why was there so much NSFW content about him? What did people see in turtles?

You quickly corrected your search to "Raphael BG3 naked mod April prank," but it didn’t bring back any relevant results. So, you changed it to "last twenty four hours" just to be thorough.

Didn’t help. Nothing. You were the only to be called a naughty little mouse. The special one.

queen-of-the-bored: which thread dude??? you: my bad it was the turtle queen-of-the-bored: ??? queen-of-the-bored: I am slowly getting worried about you haha

Next step? Contact the mod developer directly? What if they have no idea what you're talking about?

Then what? What were the alternative theories? You've been hacked and doxxed to madness for that one Twitter post that got people waving pitchforks at you? 

There you go, you were scared again. Daytime, sun shining and children playing outside, but there you were, alone in your flat, scared again.

You took a deep breath and looked at the screen. "All right, I understand, Mr Archdevil Supreme. No screenshots. I'll uninstall the mod and I apologise for my disrespectful behaviour."

You couldn't bear to see Raphael's face on the screen again so you hit ctrl alt delete instead of Escape and stared blankly at the Task Manager.

Next, you uninstalled the mod that had caused all this trouble. Then you went to Tumblr and removed the reblog of Raphael in a cat playsuit with the tag "my poor miau miau". Then you deleted your bookmarks on AO3. Your Twitter account was beyond repair, so you deleted it altogether.

None of these actions made you feel any better. You grabbed a quick cup of shrimp noodles, but eating it only made you feel worse. As you tasted the sodium on your tongue, you came to a realisation: what you needed was to go the fuck outside.

You had been stuck in your flat and home office since the start of the pandemic, chronically online. Online work, online colleagues, online friends, who was the last real person you saw, talked to and hugged?

Your mum, probably. 

Oh yes, no wonder you were going mad. You need to get out there and meet some real people. You opened Discord, quickly scrolled past the sketch of Tav giving Raphael head, and typed a message: you needed to touch grass.

queen-of-the-bored: well there is Comic-Con this weekend  you: this is NOT touching grass, this is burning it queen-of-the-bored: true you: besides not going alone queen-of-the-bored: maybe Raph will keep you company 😈 

What? Such a strange thing to say. Or was it? Who the hell was that behind the screen anyway? Apparently someone called Sammy from Ohio. Supposedly. Wasn’t she the one who recommended this mod?

She was.

Come on, you're just letting your paranoia get the best of you.

queen-of-the-bored: oh BTW I found THE hottest Raph smut  queen-of-the-bored: mind the tags it's so hot but soooooo fucked up queen-of-the-bored: just read it trust me thank me later

Who the hell were you, Sammy from Ohio, Korilla? You put the phone down and started pacing around your small flat. It was not much to pace around, only forty-two square meters. 

At least you rent a flat in a building with other people and not some house at the edge of the forest. Strangers live below you, above you and on either side of you. They don't know you and you don't know them... but they were there, just in case...

Just in case.

"You know what?" you said to your computer. "I need a break. I need to focus on my mental health. Self-care, Raphael. I'm not playing with you. For now".

The moment you finished speaking, your phone lit up again with another notification. This time it was an email. You made a mental note to start managing your notifications better.

Did you enjoy your Devil Dick © - Natural Red experience? We know you will be back for more 😈 Check out the new...

What the fuck? Oh no, no, click away and make a mental note to never order from Bad Dragon again with customer satisfaction emails like this. It's borderline harassment. You ordered from them ONCE, as a joke, just to see what ridges might feel like.

Not as good as the smut had promised you,

Private. Private stuff. Between you and your bed drawer. Between you and your browser. God, how much stuff you have in your browser history. You should have used incognito mode more often.

Would that have helped? 

"That was low, Raphael," you muttered. "Or is it Haarlep today?"

You glanced around your room before angling your computer screen towards the wall, then retrieved the Devil Dick © from its hideaway in your bedside drawer. Your fingers grazed over the silicon ridges as you swiftly stashed it away in a box beneath the bed.

"If you must know, it was too big for me. Flattered?"

Crawling out from under the dusty bed, you looked up and realized for the first time that anyone in the building could easily peep into the flat if they tried hard enough or cared enough to do so.

Enough is enough.

You need to hydrate, you need to eat some vegetables, you need to start jogging again and you definitely... you definitely need to go out and talk to some real people. Maybe it's time to get back on Bumble and try your luck again. Who knows, it might actually work this time.

He wouldn't like that.

Where did that thought just come from? He wouldn't like it, who the hell cares what some imaginary devil thinks.

Standing up straight, you pointed a finger at the screen in front of you.

"Raphael, just so we are clear, you and I: I really like you. I do PR for you every day for free. You don't have to scare me to get my attention. You should appreciate me and be nice to me. I'm the best agent you'll ever have.”

Having made your point, you put on your running shoes and AirPods. It brought back memories of all the times you had jogged through the nearby park. Afterwards you'd sit on the bench and eat an ice-cream, watching couples, happy and glowing, watching families with children, happy and stressed, watching people living their lives in a reality parallel to yours, and then you'd come home and go into a reality parallel to theirs.

The AirPods picked up right where they left off last time.

I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear

I wanna fucking tear you apart

You removed the AirPods from your earlobes and exhaled. This wasn’t Raphael's fault. This is She Wants Revenge, you have listened to it a thousand times. You knew the lyrics, they hadn't changed. 

You can't even listen to music anymore. Pull yourself together. 

Get some vitamins from the pharmacy.

Touch some goddamn grass.

***

You stuck to your digital and physical diet until the weekend, and as a reward, nothing happened. No oddly timed emails, no strange messages, no random phone calls. Maybe it was your pitch talk or the vitamins you started taking, but either way, Raphael was on his best behavior, and so were you. 

No Tumblr, no AO3. Didn't even touch Steam. Got into a highbrow podcast about the Roman Empire.

You set a new personal record for days without 'self-indulgence', as Raphael would put it, although that wasn't really the intention. Something always seemed to interrupt - whether it was the loud hum of the fridge (which was always obnoxious) or the flickering light in the hallway (which had been broken for over a week). 

By Friday, you had finally finished the work projects you had been putting off for months. The job wasn't too bad, but it hadn't been any fun for years, if it ever had been. You did the bare minimum to get the paycheck and keep the job, and your employer kept the paycheck at the bare minimum to keep you. If there was anything else you could do, you would do something else.

Still, this was probably the most productive week you had in years. You scrubbed your flat from top to bottom twice and cleared your wardrobe of clothes that no longer fit.

You were proud of yourself.

Gradually your sense of security began to return. You tried not to dwell too much on the incident with the naughty little mouse; if you didn't think about it, it almost felt like it hadn't happened.

On Friday, you plucked up the courage to play BG3 again, wandered through Baldur's Gate, avoiding the House of Hope for the time being, had a few fights, played the graveyard scene with Astarion (daring, but a small part of you hoped it would make Raphael jealous enough to come out again), and shut it down. 

Nothing out of the ordinary.

You hadn't planned to go to Comic-Con. For one thing, it was on the other side of the city, in the business district of the convention centre, so it would take at least an hour to get there. Secondly, going alone just felt... weird.

It was not until Friday night that a little voice in your head started to whisper, "Why not? Maybe you'll meet some like-minded people”. Make some friends you can actually touch (not in a creepy way). 

It's a better chance than endlessly swiping on Bumble.

Maybe you'll meet...

Neil Newbon. If you can get past the hordes of fangirls. Andrew Wincott. No, Andrew Wincott wouldn't be there; you'd checked beforehand. To be honest, hearing his voice might have been too much for your psyche at that moment.

So you decided to go. You went, and it was as fun as you had imagined it would be - that is, hardly any. The convention hall was huge and crowded, rows and rows of stalls, crowds and crowds of people. Live panel discussions, cosplayers, flashing lights, bright colors, chatter, laughter, very loud, very lively.

Raphael wouldn't last a minute in that chaos.

"Hell is other people," you thought to yourself, quoting Sartre. If you ever met Raphael, you'd quote Sartre to him too. He must know that you read intelligent books and not just fanfiction. 

Some people might be comfortable going to events and eating alone in restaurants, but not you. It's even worse being the odd one out in a group of odd ones. How come all the others had someone to take along? Where did they find all those people in this godforsaken city?

You talked to a few people and a few people talked to you. Nothing really took off. Your mind was elsewhere, to be fair. You were looking for something in the crowd. 

Someone.

It was absurd, yes, but so was what happened this week with the mod. You had met a few Raphael cosplayers, three at least, but they were...

Well, of course they weren't him. But they did a great job with the clothes and the hair and the make-up, and one had really great prosthetic horns, and you touched them and admired them and praised that particular Raphael for all his hard work in creating them.

They were real people, not video game characters that had come to life, and neither were you. You looked down at your jeans, at your thighs, and thought you should start jogging again, and felt even less comfortable in your own skin. 

Then Neil Newbon came along and things quickly became too chaotic for you.

You decided to take a break and walked down the street until you came across a cosy café - none of that generic chain stuff, but something that tried hard to be authentic with pretty flowers in the windows.

Sitting alone at a table for two, you looked down at your phone and opened the Discord chat because you came here to talk to some real people.

In the main chat, there was a heated debate about whether devils are allowed to torture mortals into signing contracts. Both sides presented arguments based on lore, edition contradictions, past precedents and personal conviction. 

A man's voice interrupted you as you typed your own very elaborated opinion of hellish law. "Excuse me, may I?" he asked, his words slightly muffled by the AirPods.

"Sure," you replied with practiced friendliness, not even looking up. That was always your default answer. It's not like you can say no to this kind of request anyway. 

People ask and do a lot of things out of politeness. That was precisely why you took the AirPods out of your ears.

The moment you lifted your eyes to meet the man's, you learned the true meaning of the word 'jumpscare'. Your body jerked upwards, the table shook and the coffee cup tumbled - narrowly missing Raphael.

Raphael. 

Not a man who looked like Raphael, not a man who was dressed like him - Raphael. 

You weren't sure if you made any sound or uttered any words. You probably yelped.

What you did do for sure was gawk.

His skin tone identical; hair slicked back just right; eyes uncannily accurate in hue and shape - down to every wrinkle. A perfectly realistic rendering. Not the uncanny valley type, no, perfectly believable. This is exactly what he would look like if he were real and swapped his fantasy clothes for a business suit.

So this is what it feels like to go completely insane.

Very banal, actually. You are having a psychotic breakdown and no one is even looking at you, except for an imaginary devil.

"Oh my, my apologies," Raphael said as he quickly grabbed napkins to mop up the spreading lake of coffee on the table. "I did not mean to scare you."

Oh, but he did, very much. You could not breathe, your chest encased in an iron brace of fear. It's you who needs to apologise, and apologise fast, and apologise a lot, and beg for mercy. Especially for liking the Twitter art of him being spit-roasted between Yurgir and Haarlep. 

If you only knew... you would never have clicked on it... absolutely never... all those posts you wrote... 

"Raphael?" you managed to squeak out. “I didn’t mean it, I swear.”

This must be how a deer feels in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

He looked at you, very sincere confusion etched across his handsome face. "Excuse me?"

You drew in a shaky breath, your nostrils flaring as you tried to catch a whiff of cherries under the aroma of fresh coffee, not caring how absurd you appeared. Yes? No? Or was that strawberry jam on his croissant? Have your senses gone haywire? Your mind certainly has.

"You're... you're here to cosplay Raphael?" 

The thought tumbled out of your mouth before it had time to fully form in your head. It was the only explanation that made sense... It didn't, but it made more sense than all the others put together.

Raphael moved closer, pulled up a chair and asked, amused: "I beg your pardon, I'm here to do what to whom?"

The voice. The voice was the same. Andrew Wincott's voice. The man had simply stolen his voice. Or had the man stolen it from him? The movements, the mannerisms, the facial expressions. This man could not be Raphael because...

Well, because this man was real. As real as you were. 

"Raphael," you explained. "From the video game. Are you here to cosplay... to play... Raphael?"

The man gave you a look as if questioning your sanity, and rightfully so. You were also sweating bullets - could he see the damp patches under your hoodie? You pressed your arms against your sides; wouldn't want him noticing.

"I'm hardly an actor," Raphael replied with a polite smile, "although there was a time in my youth when I entertained such ambitions."

He chuckled lightly and took a leisurely sip of his coffee. 

"I'm here to enjoy my espresso, nothing more. I... have never been particularly fond of..." he added with the disdain of a typical middle-aged man, "... video games.”

You had no response for that because Raphael wouldn't be into video games either; that much was believable.

"My office is across the street," he said, pointing towards the office complex opposite you. "Precisely there."

The golden sign on the building across from you, d'Avergni & Partners, told you nothing, except that Raphael had an office job and an office space and a desk and all the things that the devil shouldn’t have because the devil invented them to torture the others.

Raphael was dressed like he had just stepped out of a board meeting. A three-piece slate gray tailored suit, white shirt peeking out from underneath, silk tie and matching pocket square. Of all the modern Raphael AUs, you preferred the Professor one, you voted for it, you had Sucharide’s fic bookmarked. The Professor was more, ugh...

Safe.

As for you, you were wearing a hoodie with your university on it. A clean hoodie, but a hoodie nonetheless. What the hell else would you be wearing to Comic Con? You didn't do your hair. Well, putting it in a ponytail is not doing your hair. Why did you not do your hair? 

"I know, I know, you must be wondering why anyone would toil on a weekend," Raphael continued. That was the last thing you were wondering. "Alas, no rest for the wicked."

"Wicked?" you echoed. You looked at the people in the cafe, sure they were staring at the both of you, but they weren't.

"Oh," he chuckled lightly, "it's just an expression – 'No rest for the wicked.' You've never heard it before?"

"Of course I have," you said, momentarily embarrassed. "Never mind...sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for," Raphael raised his eyebrows. "In fact, I should be the one to apologise for startling you. May I offer you another cup of... ah, what was that... cappuccino? After twelve? Tsk-tsk, young lady".

Not a single modern man could ever manage to say the words "tsk-tsk, young lady" as charmingly. That was Raphael.

"No bother, I can get one myself," you said quickly, about to stand up. 

He raised his hand slightly and put it down to halt your movement, and for a second you thought he was going to touch you, and if he had, if you had felt the skin of his skin, he would have felt more real and you would have died on the spot from a bursting heart.

"I have no doubt about that. But may I treat you? It would be my absolute pleasure”.

Pleasure. The way he said the word was straight obscene. You couldn't handle the word 'pleasure' coming from a man who had been responsible for more than half your orgasms in the last few months.

So in your daze, you mumbled: "Yeah. Yeah, sure."

Raphael stood up and walked over to the barista. She acknowledged him, so that's one point for him being real and you not hallucinating. Not only did she acknowledge him but she flashed him a goofy grin - clearly smitten.

Of course she is.

You have to take a picture of him. How do you take a picture of someone without their consent without being a total creep?

You don't. It's in the fucking definition; you can't. But you should. Maybe you'll open your camera roll and see someone completely different, and then you'll know it's time to call for mental health services.

Your phone was buzzing with messages, which you quickly swiped away and went straight to the camera. You took a picture of him from behind while he ordered you a coffee. The barista gave you a “fucking weirdo” look. 

Fuck you, you thought, you have no idea what I am going through right now. Then you switched to the camera roll and checked to see if the photo reflected what you saw.

A broad, fit back of a very attractive middle-aged man with lush brown hair, paying for coffee with cash.

You couldn't decide whether this made you feel better or worse.

When Raphael returned with your cup, you had something for him too. "This is the character I was talking about," you said, a screenshot of virtual Raphael ready on your screen.

Anyone who saw the screenshot would say, "Who motion-captured me?" 

Not Raphael. He barely glanced before shrugging and handing your phone back. "Hmm, I see some resemblance, I guess."

Resemblance? What fucking resemblance? There was no resemblance; he WAS Raphael! You were about to argue but he beat you to it: "Why? Were you hoping to meet this...Raphael?" 

His voice dropped an octave and he looked at you intently. He was flirting - openly, unashamedly.

"I...I was," you stammered out. "He's my favourite character."

Brilliant, brilliant line. Dear diary, today I wanted to meet Raphael, my favourite character from my favourite game. So much for quoting Sartre.

"Well now, I'm flattered," Raphael purred, causing you to wriggle uncomfortably in your seat. "I do bear some physical likeness."

That was a massive understatement. 

The man had a disarmingly charming smile. You tried to remember if Raphael had ever smiled like that in the game. It was mostly scowls and grins and smirks, but this kind of smile? You didn't think so. You caught a glimpse of yourself in his hazel eyes, and that was not Tav; that was you. Just you.

Not that you were unattractive or anything. Average. Maybe even a little pretty on a good day. You didn't like yourself very much. Then again, most people don't. That's how the beauty industry makes its money. 

You got your share of attention, some, nothing to brag about. Had two boyfriends, it didn't work out, you used to care, now you don't. Certainly never got any attention from men who looked like him.

Why should this man be interested in you, why? Ah, yes. Your soul. He probably wants your soul. Is it worth much at all? Is it worth coming all the way to Earth? You wanted to apologize to him for going through all this trouble just for you.

"So this event in the convention hall down the street..." he snapped his fingers as if trying to recall a forgotten name.

"Comic-Con 2024," you supplied. "It's huge in fandom culture. TV shows, video games, that sort of stuff.”

"Ah. Not my kind of entertainment - or my kind of audience, for that matter," Raphael said with a slightly raised eyebrow, eyeing the “Astarion approves” badge on your backpack.  "It does remind me of a deal I signed recently."

"Deal?" you asked in a weak voice. He nodded. "What deal? With who?"

"With who? No, I meant the Microsoft-Blizzard acquisition". 

Ah, that kind of deal. The words felt so reassuring, so real, the acquisition. Raphael would have no idea about these words. Raphael wouldn't say "Microsoft". You mean the real Raphael. What the hell is a 'real' Raphael again?

For the first time, you let go of a little tension. You took a first sip of your coffee and leaned back slightly in your chair. 

"Actually, I think these acquisitions are really harmful for the industry," you said. 

Why did you have to be so confrontational? You didn't have anything clever to say about such things, so you spoke the truth instead. Bad idea.

"How candid of you to say that. Well, I’ll be just as candid with you: I am indeed a villain." Raphael grinned. "I hope you can forgive me." 

There went your short-lived relaxation, which lasted less than a minute.  Raphael had just looked at you and said "I am a villain". Challenge him. Tell him it's him because, well, it's him. It can only be him. Tell him you know it's him, and then...

And then what?

"Everybody's got a job to do, I guess", you managed to utter the most generic phrase in existence.

"Isn't that so..." Raphael replied, pausing for a moment before finishing the sentence with your name.

You did not introduce yourself to him. You were sure of it. Absolutely sure. 

"How do you know my name?" you asked, half rising from your chair, raising your voice and quickly lowering it again. "I didn't tell you my name. How do you know it?"

Raphael gestured to your phone, which lay on the table screen between the two of you. Your work ID card was tucked away in its transparent case - something you hadn't needed for a while.

It had your first and last name on it.

"I saw it right before my eyes," he explained. "I thought it was a hint."

"It wasn't," you said.

"Oh, another faux pas on my part then," he said. "At this rate, I owe you something to make up for all my many transgressions. Perhaps dinner?"

You let out a nervous chuckle. One of your popular Tumblr posts had been an impassioned rant about how Raphael had promised a similar in-game offer but failed to deliver despite the many times you gave him the Crown.

"I seem to have absolutely terrified you, and that was not my intention. I insist on making it up to you. If you allow me, of course. I don't want to impose. Would you allow me to?"

He looked at you with the intensity of a man admiring a beautiful woman, his shoulders back and chin slightly up, trying to present himself from his best angle - something you've seen men do before, but rarely (if ever) to you. It was as if he could hang on every word that came out of your mouth, simply because he enjoyed watching your lips move. Raphael looked like he was in love, for Christ's sake.

Your cheeks grew warm. 

"Yes," you replied.

He kept silent for a bit, savouring your answer. 

"Splendid. Where might I collect you?"

It took you a moment to realise that he was asking for your address. Your personal address. Shouldn't he know it already, if he was Raphael? You replied as nonchalantly as possible:

"Why don't I give you my number and we can arrange to meet at the center?"

His expression darkened slightly; you've seen this look in the game before.

No, you shouldn't have said that. You wanted him to like you. 

Desperately.

"You don't trust me?" Raphael's voice dropped an octave or two, playful and just a little threatening.

You felt his breath on your face (cherries?) and the next second you stopped feeling your legs. The attraction that had been simmering inside you for months started boiling over.

Breathe. Pretend it's not Raphael. A man came up to you in a coffee shop and asked you if you trusted him in that kind of tone, leaning in like that. You know what the sensible thing to do would be - get up and walk away. And if it really was Raphael, get up and run away. 

You remained seated and stayed. 

"Just, ugh..." was all you managed to get out of the jumbled thoughts in your head; two coherent sentences so far into the conversation, and both of them made you sound like an absolute madwoman. 

Raphael laughed.

"Of course you don't trust me, that's only prudent, and you seem to be quite an intelligent young lady. But just so we are clear, you and I: you have nothing to fear from me. What is that number of yours?"

Quite an intelligent young lady, the words echoed in your mind and you remembered your naughty anonymous Tumblr confession: I would suck every last drop of cum out of him as long as he kept praising me.

God, everything you've read with him in the main role. Double penetration, double vaginal penetration, pet play... you weren't even into half of it. You hoped Raphael didn’t think you actually wanted him to do all of the things you read with you.

You just liked clicking on random links.

"Do you need something to write it down or...?" you asked hesitantly.

"I will remember," he said curtly. “I do not forget things easily”.

You realised that there was something far more frightening than anything that had happened before: that he wouldn't remember, that he would never call you, and that this conversation and this meeting would end there. 

So you carefully enunciated each number, then took a pen from your pocket and wrote it down on a napkin: it seemed romantic in the movies, but your handwriting and the coffee stain made it look like a secret message from the madhouse.

He grinned and tucked the napkin into the pocket of his suit.

He took the last sip of coffee and then took your hand in his. He touched you. His skin was warm and real and soft and everything you had ever imagined, his touch surprisingly tender. 

Your whole body responded to that tiny crumb of affection, viscerally. You hadn't realized how famished you were for a touch until that moment.

He lifted your hand to his lips and pressed them against yours. His lips were soft too, slightly damp from the coffee.

"I am looking forward to our rendezvous," Raphael murmured against your palm. "Ver much so."

Rendezvous.

In any other situation, a middle-aged man kissing your hand would be downright creepy. But this... this was a fever dream, an illusion, anything but reality. Because there was no way this madness could actually be happening to you.

Was it a bad thing? Was reality ever... this? So unpredictable? So exciting? 

You only snapped out of it when the door closed behind him, but you snapped out hard. You practically threw yourself at the next table, where a group of guys were sitting, their appearance screaming video games - backpacks and scruffy beards, Warhammer-emblazoned T-shirts. 

You grabbed one by the shoulder and hissed urgently: "Guys-guys-guys-guys." Your words came like rapid fire. "Tell me that guy doesn't look exactly like Raphael from Baldur's Gate? That one? On the street behind the window?" 

Damn, you sounded desperate.

"Ah, sorry, never played it," came the nonchalant reply before he turned back to his friends' conversation.

"Baldur's Gate," chimed in another, his face lighting up. "Amazing game. Looks like who?"

"Raphael," you said. "The devil."

The guy laughed, but didn't even look where you were pointing.

"Ah, the two-pump chump?"

You shot a quick glance at Raphael. His eyes met yours through the glass window, and they were cold now; his smile was gone. 

I didn't say that, you pleaded with him in your thoughts. That guy said that. That guy over there. I would never say that.

Your defence of his bed skills stretched from Reddit to Tumblr threads, you argued that Haarlep was slandering him, that Raphael was the best fuck there ever was and you personally vouched for that because you fucked him a thousand times in your head.

"Don't call him that, please," you whispered to the guy. He gave you a confused look when you pointed at Raphael again: "Look at him. The one staring at us. Does he look like him?

Is he real? Do you see him too?

"Ah yes," he admitted with a grin on his face, raising the cup of coffee to his lips, "he sort of does. Yes, he does! Well, I hope he doesn't...oh shit! FUCK!".

The guy's face contorted in pain as he clutched his mouth, jumping, cursing, tears streaming down his face. You could see the skin on his lips reddening and blistering.

"What the fuck?! It's fucking boiling! FUCK! "

The barista rushed over to him, spewing apologies as she tried to handle the situation. You took a step back and glanced at Raphael whose lips were moving subtly - two syllables that matched rhythmically: 'bye-bye' or maybe 'ciao-ciao'. 

It didn't have to be 'ta-ta'. He waved nonchalantly at you.

You waved back.

NEXT: Chapter 3, In Which Larian Introduces The Raphael Romance

[wisellamawerewolf]

I feel sorry for people trying to coherently analyze this mf:

*Rant under the cut*

I've seen people speculate that Adam hides his bitterness towards Lucifer behind his rockstar-like persona, because Lucifer essentially doomed his children to eternal suffering. Or talking about his friendship/partnership/relationship with Lute, ect.

Now, if it was a better show and didn't know anything about VivziePop, I might have been inclined to believe you, but honestly? I think the only reason Viv decided to make Adam a main antagonist for the season is because she could write Lucifer saying: "haha I fucked your wife". Well, this and maybe also to hammer in the "Heaven is hypocritical" narrative.

Honestly I wish people who try to look deeper into the character wrote the show, because this guy lacks a coherent motivation. And no, "I'm bored" is not a good motivation for someone who by his own admition commits a genocide of his own children.

To be fair, he also mentions how humanities was supposed to worship him but like... Why? Is there something in hellaverse version of bible about Adam? Is Adam like a legit deity in this universe? And even if the whole speach was just supposed to showcase an insane level of entitlement he has, I've gotta once again ask: why is he like that?

In my general review I mentioned how he straight up broke the lore with his existence, and I want to elaborate on that a little: Adam was supposedly created BEFORE the evil seep into the earth, but despite him and Lilith being created as equals and I assume roughly at the same time, he just demands control? For no apparent reason? And angels were not at all concerned about it? There's also no signs of favoritism towards him, because we don't know what other angels even think about him. I guess they like him enough to not kick him out of heaven, and they kinda correct his behavior sometimes, but there's zero significant characterization we're getting from the fact that he's in heaven. Honestly a single episode following him and the life in heaven in general could've given us so much, but then there wouldn't be any time left for the millions of other VivziePop's characters to show up and do jackshit, and we can't have that.

He might have been an interesting pick to pin against Charlie and her father if anyone but Viv were to write him, but as always, she had an interesting idea she completely failed to execute, because she's just not interested enough in it.

As to his relationship with Lute... Honestly, I have no idea what are they supposed to be besides maybe a boss and a subordinate. They have a total number of ONE dialogues, where they talk about Vaggie being an ex-exterminator.

The rest of their "interactions" are:

- Adam makes a remark, Lute nods;

- Lute makes a remark, Adam counteracts with another remark, often in a detached way;

- A single fist bump;

- Adam smiled at her before death.

People treat him smiling at Lute before his death as some sort indicator of character, but I think it was either an attempt to give some sort of last-minute charaterization to two hollow cardboards or just a cheap drama/shipping fuel. Lute NEVER showed she liked him once before his death scene, and even it was too vague to say certainly. It was never showed that she felt any emotion towards him or anything he says, at this rate this girl might also be madly in love with fucking air, because she also show zero reaction towards it.

In a way, I kinda find it funny how Adam calls himself "the original dick" while he is an embodiment of VivziePop's male characters: he's an overly confident genocidal maniac who makes misogynistic remarks, constantly talks about sex, swears every few seconds and has a big toothy grin.

He behaved the same as Angel Dust or Alastor, but the reason we're supposed to hate him is because he *checks notes* has a pastel color scheme and is fat, apparently??? I'm honestly not sure it was supposed to be the same as "Moxxie is fat" joke or Adam is really supposed to be fat, but do uh... do artists working on your show know that? Because in some scenes there's literally zero indication of him being fat:

Unless of course he hides a giant dump truck of an ass under his robe.

Concerning his possible return in the second season: idk, I don't really care? His addition so far has been very superficial, but Viv might like him enough to actually bring him back in a demon form and either kill him off the second time, or woobify him like she did with a couple of other "flawed" characters. I honestly doubt we will get more from this guy regardless if he's gonna reappear or not. I'm not even sure if the proper backstory is gonna save his character at this point, even if we're going to get it in the second season (I'm VERY sceptical that it will happen).

Conclusions: he's as flat as a cardboard cutout. Had the potential to be interesting, I liked him in concept, but the execution is lacking as always. I guess the fact that he was voiced by Alex Brightman is neat, and I liked his song from the first episode, but that's about it.

[luigisblueoveralls]

Boop!

Luigi x GN! Reader Short

Requested by @jetsoftball15

Summary: Luigi comes home from work in a foul mood and you do something you've always wanted to do in an attempt to make him feel better.

Notes: Fluff. Sorry it's short but I hope you enjoy it!

💚

The front door opening indicated that Luigi was home.

"Hey honey!"

Luigi then slammed the door hard, causing the door to shake. You knew immediately that he was in a bad mood. Luigi hardly was ever in a bad or sour mood, so you knew that this last client was especially rude and nasty. Luigi marched up into y'alls room without saying a word to you. You weren't offended by that, for he didn't want to take his anger out on you. You didn't deserve that. You were cooking mushroom Alfredo for Luigi, his favorite meal and you hoped that would help his mood a little bit. Meanwhile, Luigi was sitting on y'alls bed, fuming with anger. The last client of the day was trying short them of the money they earned while also being a typical snotty rich person. While you and Luigi were middle class, he just wished he could earn more to give you the luxury you deserve. Luigi mostly calmed down and got out of his wet work uniform and put on a t shirt, sleep shorts and some fuzzy socks. He then walked back downstairs and slumply sat at the dining table.

"Bad day?"

"Hmhm." Luigi mumbled out what sounded like a yes.

"I'm sorry I made you some Alfredo." You announced, hoping to get something out of him.

"Thanks." Luigi mumbled.

You nearly sighed in defeat but you weren't giving up. You finished up dinner and served Luigi first. He just stared down at the plate, not eating.

"Not hungry?"

"Just waiting for you, first." He told you.

"You can go ahead, Lui Lu." You call him by his nickname.

Luigi sighed as he started eating. You then sat down with your plate and both ate in silence. It was unusual but you didn't want to press Luigi for it and make him more mad than he already was. He has never raised his voice at you or taken his anger out on you. Luigi would never forgive himself if he ever did that to you.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You offer.

Luigi just shrugged his shoulders.

"You can if you want to, you know."

"It was just…this woman." Luigi starts and you listened intently, "She was trying to short us and was being awfully rude to us."

"How so?" You ask.

Luigi sat his fork down on his plate out of frustration over the woman he dealt with.

"Woman was a bitch." Luigi's face immediately turned red from what he said.

Luigi has never cussed before until now.

"Man, that woman really did make you mad." You joked, but Luigi didn't really react to it.

The tension was so thick that you could cut a knife through it. You weren't sure on what to do until you got an idea. It could go very bad or very good either way. So you decide to go with it. You scooted over to Luigi and sat next to him. Luigi gave you a half smile, while feeling a little better that you sat closer to him but also still irritated from that woman.

"Hey." You call him.

Luigi turned his head towards you, waiting for what you were going to do. You raised a finger and pressed it against his nose.

"Boop."

Luigi was confused as your finger remained on his nose. While his nose was bigger than most people's, you thought it suited him and it made him handsome. You moved your finger away, with Luigi still remaining confused.

"Boop, boop."

You did it again, earning a small smile from Luigi.

"Oh! I'm getting somewhere." You said, booping his nose again.

A legit smile finally grew on Luigi's face. Despite being in such a foul mood for the first time ever, you always knew how to make him smile even though it was your first time dealing with this.

"Boopers." You did it again, wiggling his nose as well.

Finally, a chuckle left Luigi's mouth.

"Now there's the Luigi I know." You said as you leaned in and kissed him on his temple.

Luigi wiped his mouth and mustache of any Alfredo sauce and turned to you.

"You always know how to make me feel better." Luigi told you, admiring you.

When he first laid his eyes on you, he thought you were absolutely stunning and the greatest person alive. He was truly blessed to have you in his life.

"Just a talent I have." You booped his nose again, making Luigi laugh, "just so you know I have always wanted to do that."

"Well I won't mind if you do it from now on if it makes you happy." Luigi wrapped his arm around you in a half hug.

You leaned in and kissed his nose, making his face flush pink. For the rest of the night, the two of you talked it out and ranted about some of the worst customers you've ever dealt with. You both end the night watching TV and cuddling until y'all both passed out on the couch. You two truly loved each other, and you knew y'all would for many years to come.

💚

Sorry for the wait on this! I was feeling under the weather for the past couple of days and I'm finally feeling good enough to write. There's some ideas I want to write I have before I get back to opening up requests but it shouldn't take long at all. Thank you all for your patience and support!!

[sgiandubh]

I laughed at your sweet Sam post. Not meanly but I did laugh because yours along with some others over the last few days show how very little there is to actually talk about. This fandom is almost completely dead. I've been here a long time and its been dying as the years and the wait between seasons lengthens and the engagement ceases, but this time seems the worse one by far. Tumblr is dead, Twitter is dead, IG does not lend itself to blog style posts so is also dead. Cast: giving nothing. TPTB: useless photos and occasional BTS videos with no new content/no context. It's a real bummer. I did smile to see Sam's sweet little face though.

Dear Dead Fandom Anon,

I think one of the most interesting things about a fandom experience (first and last, for me) is what you make of it.

Cast keeping it mum? No problem, but still intrigued.

Twitter dead? Twitter has been dead ever since it turned into X, this is barely news. But since it's also politically loaded, I am not going to discuss it: I have my red lines and do not see fit dragging my daily life in here.

Tumblr dead? Make no mistake: Tumblr is dormant. But throw this crowd something, like I inadvertently did with those old S&C pics, and just watch your clicks explode. This crowd is always hungry for more. Always. And mind you, people will still hang around at least until this show is over. Some to see the end of it, others to taunt the opposing faction, in a completely useless attempt to do some missionary work. So nope: not yet.

IG is, of course, a joke. It's primarily for selling a media profile to future studio honchos, agents and all the other Hollywood types you'd wish to work with in the foreseeable future. The day those uber-excitable ('SHOUTING, SCREAMING, THROWING UPPP TO SEE MY PARENTS LIKE THIS' - yes, this is fandom legit jargon, Anon) women will understand they are a tradeable digital commodity like any other is the day Insta will begin to crumble. We are not there yet and so I suppose we'll see more of those (young?) people shouting, and screaming and throwing up in celebration of 'their wonderful friendship for life' (🙄). Or C's make-up, since that's just about all she's showing her sans-culottes. Or S's biceps, since that's just about all he's showing his mommies (spare for the booze- and no, FMN not coming soon in a liquor store near you: moi aussi, je suis désolée). Your pick.

As for ***, well... Never ever in my life have I seen a company so endeavored to destroy whatever it managed to build, in terms of audience success, in such a short time span. Whoever planned the current wreck should get the sack, sooner or later and they have only themselves to blame.

Thankfully, this series will be over and done with. It is my deepest wish, Anon. And then, we shall see. We shall live and we shall see.

Keep calm and carry on: that's your (our, really) boredom speaking.

[writebackatya]

I wish I could talk about Timephoon! without it being about “discourse”

I legit think it’s a good episode

I like to joke about it because I think the episode has some funny stuff in it and I just think the controversy is silly

A lot happens in that episode other than that scene

It’s like The Exorcist of DuckTales 2017. People are always so focused on a small part of the overall story. Not saying the impact is small, but it’s like a quick scene compared to everything else in that episode

[cyanoticfireflies]

Hazbin Hotel - Rewatch Thoughts (Episode 1, Part 4)

Charlie gets home and does *not* want to admit just how bad things went, but I think she actually was going to tell Vaggie before she got interrupted to see the new commercial.  But with Vaggie so happy and excited, she can’t just crush her enthusiasm like that, so she lets Vaggie drag her over to the couch.

(Are Angel’s feet *on Husk’s tail?*  Poor kitty.  No wonder he looks so pouty.)

I kind of wish we had seen the finished commercial.  I feel like it was still destined to be a little bit of a mess, honestly.  Vaggie’s few words of delivery are cardboard flat, Alastor is glitching out in the corner, and no one could pull that bottle out of Husk’s claws. 

Also, is the “Now Playing” a joke for us?  It should say something like “Now Open” or “Vacancies” (if any of these guys knew how to run a hotel.)

Niffty is so gleeful at Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel’s anger when it gets interrupted.  Husk is watching their reactions, and Alastor is, as you’d expect, as unconcerned as possible because he’s Alastor.  So much for the outcome of his limb-pulling.

He seems almost as amused as Niffty, just more quietly.

If you’ve never taken the time to read the ticker tape on the 666 News, you should.  It’s one of the awesome things about Vivziepop shows – there are a million little hidden extras.  No lorum ipsum for them!

“The extermination is happening in six months.  This is not a drill!  Confirmed!  Legit!  Fuck!  CFYCBHNJM we all dead soon!!  Why does this always happen to me?”

We watch the countdown go from 358 (365 minus the week it’s been, so that’s spot on) down to 176.  Six months is half a year, and half of a year is 182.5 but even if we take out the seven days half of 358 is 179 instead of 176, so my guess is that this six months takes place over a winter/spring and a short month like February accounts for the lost couple of days.

I’m also guessing it’s 6:50 in the evening – the hands on the clock look the same length to me, but it does seem like a full day has passed rather than it being like 10:35 in the morning.  But since Adam offered Charlie lunch earlier in the episode, I think that means our poor sad girl was either stuck hearing Adam ramble about his hook-ups for literal hours (highly probable), listening to a lot longer rendition of “Hell is Forever” than the rest of us got, or wandered around in a lost daze after the meeting, not wanting to go home and face her failure.

Someone make our poor sad girl a hot cup of tea and put a blanket around her.

This ending scene gets a little time-fucky because it seems like it would have to logically be a flashback.  Unless a body was just laying there for a week and the Exorcists didn’t notice one of their own missing for that long. 

We have no idea if Exorcists give a flip about each other since we only really spend time with the two most extremes (Vaggie and Lute) but they do seem aware of each other if only because all of them are so pissed at Vaggie later. 

(“Boo!”  “We hate her!”)

Someone didn’t notice that their roommate didn’t make it home?

Also, if it wasn’t a flashback then Adam moved up the Extermination before they found the body.  Which I guess they could have if as noted above they moved it up because someone reported an Exorcist missing after the Extermination.  Missing, presumed dead.  But then that also implies that Lucifer just lets them fly their little spy drones around all of the time. 

Maybe he does, but you’d think someone would mention it.

(At what point did Velvette and the other Vees find the head?  Or did it just get popped off so good that it was no where near the rest of the body?)

I love the hypocrisy of the angels here.  “We can go down and murder loads of them just for funzies, but if one of us dies then it’s time to wipe Sinners off the face of Hell.”  Sounds about right. 

So much for a nice holy “turn the other cheek.”  But this is really emphasizing that, to Adam and the Exorcists and very likely Sera, the Sinners have no rights *at all.*  Not even a right to exist, since fighting back against the wiping out of their own soul existence is unacceptable to them.

Also, how do they not know that it was Carmilla that killed the angel?  The Exorcist wasn’t alone when it descended upon her daughters – they had five angels around them on Extermination Day, but there’s only one body, so presumably the other four got away (ran away after seeing Carmilla kill one of their own.)  Do the Exorcists practice “snitches get stitches” or something?

_______

Best Song of the Episode: Hell is Forever

[showtoonzfan]

I watched Sarcastic Chorus’s video on if “Unhappy Campers” fixed Millie or not, and I really liked it, because it actually brought up the giant elephant in the room that the fandom won’t acknowledge. While this episode certainly does have Millie in it and we actually get to see her vulnerable about herself for once, she still was attached to Moxxie, and at the end of the day, he was the one who got more focus, with the episodes plot being more about him and his journey.

It was Moxxie who was put in charge of the investigation and planned for him and Millie to dress up as brother and sister to eliminate suspects. It was Moxxie who wanted to show his worth to Blitz in that he could handle a job. It was Moxxie who tried to bond with the kids but ended up being made fun of and making him insecure. It was Moxxie who ended up getting jealous at Millie for all the fame but couldn’t snag the attention no matter how he tried, and also couldn’t find the suspect. It was Moxxie who ended up snapping at her, but needed to realize in the end that he was a being a dick. It was Moxxie who had the character focus and growth to change his actions at the end of the episode.

—-

Millie for the most part, did what she always did, stood by at Moxxie’s side and supported him. She may have finally got a song, but most of it was fluff and just animation eye candy, showing off her skills, something the audience already knew she was good at. I don’t think fans realize this, but the argument scene she has with Moxxie is legit the ONLY scene in the entire episode where she’s in the spotlight that actually has to do with her character, because the rest was focused on Moxxie at the front. Not that there’s something entirely wrong with that, but it is the bare minimum, especially since what fans want is her to be purely the focus and not just trotting along with another character.

Her feeling happy for once that others aren’t screaming in agony at her is one thing, it could actually make sense and I wouldn’t find it hard to believe, however as everyone else keeps saying, her randomly spewing about how she finally feels like she’s important and “something to be proud of” makes no sense within the narrative, because Millie has always been a strong killing machine, painted as a really good assassin with her family, Blitz, AND Moxxie praising her. She legit has no reason to feel like she isn’t important or something to not be proud of, because she’s always been portrayed as really strong, saving Moxxie millions of times and helping the IMP gang out. And for all the audience has seen and knows, she’s very happy go lucky and loves her job, her co workers, and her family, so this small bit of character exploration feels half assed, unearned, and not thought through.

__

Finally, the most funny thing about this episode is that Moxxie needs to learn to let Millie shine since she always supports him, and yet the writers struggle with that themselves. Even when Millie finally does have her “big moment” that she was talking about, it’s just an anime montage of her doing stunts and playing the guitar, while the ACTUAL plot of Moxxie trying to kill the target and fighting Barbie is going on at the front, and even ends with the target dying before cutting back to hell later. Millie doesn’t even get any lines, how nice would it have been to see more…like what if she felt bad for her fans since she’s never coming back, or what if she looks through the pictures of her phone of the camp friends she made and wishes she still had that? Feeling sentimental? For Pete’s sake, you’d think after spewing about how much she feels like she isn’t valued, Blitz and Moxxie would confront her in the end and we’d have some heart felt scene of them reassuring her they care and her deciding to be more open. We get none of that, it’s not only wrapped up so quickly, but ends with Moxxie himself, getting the credit from Blitz he wanted, only to end on an unfunny joke of Blitz calling him a disgrace before the credits roll, so we legit close out on Moxxie and Blitz instead of Millie herself.

Putting the bad writing aside, “Unhappy Campers” definitely didn’t fix Millie’s lack of depth and focus, but I would say it’s a small start, wether the writing is dog shit or not, and wether we had to wait this damn long for crumbs or not. At the end of the day, this episode in my opinion opens more of a door to more potential on actually fleshing Millie out….but I do have my doubts, as not only do we have to wait until season 3 for Millie to get the focus again, but Viv and Adam really do make it clear that they have no idea on how to flesh Millie out without attaching her to Moxxie, since the upcoming ghost demon episode has her trying to off herself because she feels like she’s holding him back and a bad wife. I’d say I hope she gets more in the future, but I’m done believing in Viv and Adam. For Millie to work, I feel like she just needs new writers man, cause these writers clearly don’t care for her enough to put the work in and flesh her out and focus on her, bc they suffer from biased favoritism regarding the other characters. Millie will always deserve better and I honestly don’t think it’ll get better for her from here on out. Someone take the rights for her out of Viv and Adam’s grasp and give her the attention and development she deserves lol.

[eisforeidolon]

Jensen: How you doin'?

Jared: I'm doing well, man. I can't believe it's -

Audience member: Did you poop?

Jared: December of '23.

Jensen: [to audience member] What did you just say?

Audience member: Rich said he was pooping. So I said -

Jensen: Okay, alright, it's gonna be one of those shows. She's like, "Didja poop?"

Jared: Recently? I have in my life, yes. Have y'all? No? Oh, bull-

Jensen: Alright, okay.

Jared: Here's a question, here's an honest, like, weird trivia question. You know why they say that's bullshit, meaning that's not worth anything? It's because bull manure has no nutritive value. So you can use cow manure -

Jensen: [stares, drops his mic to his leg with a thwack]

Jared: C'mon! It's not a dad joke, it's a legit thing! So bull shit is useless. So when they're like, oh, that's bullshit, saying - It's been fun, guys! [acts like he's leaving]

Jensen: And that's Jared's last panel at Creation. Fun facts by Jared Padalecki.

Audience member: Love you, Jared!

Jared: I love you, too, thank you. Suck it, Ackles. She loves me.

Jensen: Well, that's - you've got one.

Jared: And that's not bullshit.

[More audience yelling affection for both]

Jensen: Okay, alright, that's worth - good.

Jared: [fake annoyed] What fun factoid did Jensen give you? None!

Audience member: I love your eyes!

Jensen: What?

Jared: [laughing] I love his eyes. [fans self] I'm right next to him.

Jensen: This is going off the rails and we haven't even started yet.

Jared: Let's get this train back on the tracks. Not gonna waste y'all's time, let's start over here. Howdy!

[...]

Question: If Sam and Dean had to go into the djinn - like got hit by the djinn again, what do you think their djinn dreams would be now?

Jared: Geez. Starting off hot!

Question: This question's been brewing for a couple months, so.

Jared: That's amazing!

Jensen: If - what - in - like after, at this point in the?

Jared: I think probably the same. I think, I think so? [turns to Jensen]

Jensen: Yeah, I think that's probably the go-to thing, is for both, they always dreamed of this kind of slice of normalcy. Even though they know that that's not something that would have ever worked for them? I think they still hold that in their, kind of, idea of what they missed.

Jared: Yeah, I always thought also, recently, I feel like Dean, funny enough? Would have dreams about abandoned barns that didn't have rebar sticking through [makes violent poking motion with finger] - too soon? Do you know that bullshit has no nutritive value, to be used as manure? But that's my thought.

Jensen: Neither does this answer, [Jared laughs] so it's -

Jared: [to questioner] What do you think?

Question: I don't know, I think it could be the same. I think maybe, at least from my interpretation, I think it would maybe be different after they met their mom, because I always thought that Dean saw her in such high regard and then when he actually met her, it's not that it lowered, but it kinda gave him more realistic expectations of her meeting him.

Jensen: Yeah, I think that may have shed some light into what that relationship, what the history was behind that? But I still think Dean would have this, this wishful idea of what life could have been. [Jared nods] Even though he knew, or knows more, I think he still maybe held that as a bit of a dream. Even though he knows it would never really be like that, but still.

[blues824]

How about the octavinelle trio playing octodad somhow they got a game from their world in twisted wonderland

And for the sake of lolz the reader is dating Azul and the tweels and making a joke that this game predicted their life because in the game octodad married a human woman to stay because they fell in love on a ship

https://youtu.be/LTmONNEUXjI

Floyd putting the theme song as the phonumber for Azul

Bestie, I get excited whenever you appear in my inbox. You got the funniest requests I swear X’D

Azul Ashengrotto

This man is about to cry. Come get yo mans cuz the water works are gonna start working the water in t-minus 10 seconds. This is a game about a seemingly stereotypical family, all except that the father is ‘secretly’ an octopus. Azul, being a cecaelia, both relates and doesn’t relate to this octopus.

He does get very frustrated with how clumsily Octodad moves. He doesn’t have tentacles on land, but he imagines that it isn’t that hard. A few days after playing, he takes you to a nearby beach and tests it out, only to find out that he walks exactly like him.

When you jokingly say that this game predicts your future, he blushes so badly. YoU cAn’T jUsT sAy ThAt OuT oF nOwHeRe- Nah but seriously, he has dreams at night where you both are either married and living under the sea or your wedding day. I fully believe this man wants to settle down one day with you and maybe start a family (he doesn’t care if you adopt or even foster children, he just wants kids to care for)

He does enjoy how Octodad met Scarlet on the ship and it was like true love at first sight. He wishes he could have met you under more romantic circumstances like that, but it will be a funny story to tell your future kids one day.

He definitely doesn’t like the Chef. It reminds him of the stories he heard as a mer-child, where if you came in contact with a human, they would cook you and eat you. However, you busted into his life like the FBI and broke the stereotypes :)

Jade Leech

As calm and collected as ever. He may have a slight blush on his face, though. He will definitely ask Azul later if this was the experience he had being on land. He can’t say much being an eel, but he can say that he does relate to some of the aspects

He finds it amusing how clumsily Octodad moves, reminding him of a certain cecaelia when he first got his legs. He goes through a small flashback when Azul gave them each a potion that would turn them human. Like most mermaids and mermen say, it was like walking on broken glass.

When you pass by and tell him that the game reminded you of what your future would be like, he quickly grabs you by the belt loops and pulls you into a kiss. Your little plan backfired on you but in the best way possible.

He also likes how Octodad and Scarlet met and how it was love at first sight. It was the same feeling he had when he first saw you on campus. When you bravely went up to Azul with determination, he fell head over heels. Floyd relentlessly teased him about it and how he would always chicken out whenever he went to ask you out.

He finds the Chef rather amusing. He was always trying to expose and even kill Octodad with no reason other than he was angry with the idea of an octopus living a human life. It was rather comical, so he enjoyed the rivals to friends trope the two had.

Floyd Leech

Let’s talk about the setup. You are definitely sitting in his lap while he’s playing because he’s super clingy. Now that that’s out of the way, he will be laughing during the whole game. He finds it hilarious. He doesn’t even relate the game to his experience of being in and out of the water because he’s too busy laughing with you.

He also is greatly amused at how clumsy Octodad tends to be, but after a while it will grow a tad bit tedious for him. He will never forget the day where he got his legs: he stubbed his toe and he thought he was legit dying.

When you start getting tired, you told him that you had him play this game because you wanted this in the future. He stared at you in shock before squeezing you out of pure joy. Shrimpy wants to marry him?! Oh he could die a happy eel right then and there!

He gets slightly bored during the whole “Octodad falls in love with Scarlet” part, but he will admit that it’s very cute. He would ask you if you remembered how the both of you met, and you gladly told him the story again (i'm still kinda salty about it).

He doesn’t like the Chef either. In his eyes, the eel was Octodad and Scarlet was you. Hence, the Chef was trying to take him away from his Shrimpy >:(  You had to spoil the end of the game where the two reconcile and your eel becomes giddy and happy again.

[lovejosephquinn]

Aight just hear me out okay so you bring joe over to mee your family okay you're still surprisingly in the honey moon stage can't keep it in your pants for a second well he's meeting the family and things are going great your parents love him you guys are having dinner and you say something like " daddy please pass me the hot sauce" joe & your dad both go to get it it can end how you like

STOP IT HAHAHA. These requests just legit keep getting better every day 🤣

I just wanted this to be a simple blurb for the reaction, I've seen TikTok videos where this happened and it's just hiliarious

Your wish is my command, thank you for your request x

Joe meeting your parents seemed to go well at first no matter how nervous he'd been for the inevitable moment; it was an evening that had been planned for the last week and you'd been building each other up for it every night leading up to it.

You'd engaged in a lot of light conversation as a foursome, them getting to know Joe better but not interrogating him too much as you'd politely requested, especially to your dad. As you were called by your mum from the kitchen to take your places at the dinner table, your dad stopped you when Joe walked out the room. He put his arm over your shoulder and gave you a slight squeeze "he's good for you Y/N." You gave your dad an appreciative smile back, nodding your head. "He's the best, daddy. I'm so glad you like him."

You joined Joe at the dining table, he was engaging in general chit chat with your mum. "Smells so good Mrs Y/L/N."

"I make a good roast Joseph; you'll never forget it."

"Please, Joe is fine." he smiled as you sat next to him. His hand leaning onto hold your thigh, tracing it slowly upward with his fingers making you shudder. You were very much at the stages of not keeping your hands off one another, but you'd warned him not to try anything at your parent's house in fear they'd notice, he kept his word that he wouldn't to a certain degree, but his actions broke that promise. You gave him a raised eyebrow, shoving his hand away by spreading your legs apart fast, his eyes shot down to them and made him suck his lips inward, sighing out his nose, you looked awfully delicious in your current position.

Your mum placed your plates in front of you after your dad had helped carry the food to the table. "Dig in everyone! Thanks for finally bringing Joe to meet us, it's been a delight" She smiled delightfully towards him.

"Likewise." Joe lifted his drink to her, beamed a toothy grin back at your mum.

The gravy boat was sat furthest away from you, and you were always taught good table manners, so you knew better than to reach over the food to grab it. "Daddy, can you please pass the gravy?"

Instantaneously, your dad's and Joe's hand reached for the handle, both of them halting at once staring each other down for what seemed like an eternity, their eyes doing all the talking for them. Your face was that of a mortified look watching between them both whilst your mums hand covered her mouth, and you couldn't help but hear the muffled bark of laughter that left her.

Your dad cleared his throat and shot your mum a look, making her shove her forkful of food into her mouth, looking towards you. "I hope you're joking." your dad mumbled.

You looked innocently back at your dad. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're 25 years old, you know exactly what I mean."

Joe snorted through his nose, finding the whole situation comical, your dad shot a forced smile back at you, yes, he was clearly embarrassed by the whole shocking ordeal, not ever wantin to know that this was his daughter's kink, which clearly made him sick to his stomach, but he had to accept that unfortunately you were a grown consenting adult in the honeymoon period with your new boyfriend.

You straightened your posture, sighing a relief that it didn't end up in a heated debate. "Joe, will you let my dad pass me the gravy?" Joe nodded, looking anywhere but at your dad, his eyes bulging out of his sockets. You'd never forget the night he met your parents.

[heartylunalys]

Cannes Film Festival

Austin Butler x black actress! reader

my masterlist || part 2

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genre: smut, tiny bit of fluff

words: 3k

warnings: well…smut, oral f receiving, slight spanking, a manager being annoying as fuck

notes : I loved writing this fic and I hope you will like to read it. I needed to write for Austin since he’s completely clouding my mind since I watched Elvis.

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Cannes Film Festival, an incredible and fancy place where everyone has nice dresses and tuxedos, a view of the beautiful southern French coast, journalists and fans all trying to take a glimpse at the many celebrities here.

You don’t really feel at your place here even if you’re glad to be here, with the big names of the industry. Being a young actress, it’s the first time you’re attending the event, the movie you played in was totally the genre of movie loved in the festival: intense, aesthetically pleasing, a little bit long… You were glad to be the main character in this movie as a black woman, you thought it was a way to show the versatility of black women and how they weren’t always meant to play aggressive, mean characters and conforms to black stereotypes.

The first night of the festival, even if you were tired, having too much spotlight suddenly, your manager begged you to go to the Elvis after-party, saying it will be a perfect occasion to meet new contacts and relieve the stress of the day. After almost 10 minutes of explaining your tiredness to her you understood that she wasn’t going to let you rest in your hotel room so you followed her to La Croisette where the party was at.

“Look at all these people,” she said excitedly, “if we don’t find someone to cast you in all these I don’t know what to do anymore.” She laughed and you forced a smile, clearly annoyed but you didn’t want to act disrespectful.

The party was something, there were a lot of people and you could easily recognize some faces that you already saw on the big screen. However you didn’t feel like talking or even approaching them, maybe because you didn’t feel legit to be in here, you were exhausted and not a very talkative person, so you just decided to take the drink one of the servers offered you, staying away from everyone. You were admiring the pretty landscape of Cannes, wishing you could leave to explore the city. The lights were bright, reflected in the Bay of Cannes.

As you lightly bobbed your head to the music, trying to ease your nerves a little bit, a figure was walking towards you with a little smile and you wanted nothing more than to disappear in the crowd of fake smiles and hypocritical laughs.

“Hey, I think I’ve never seen you before. You’re..y/n right?” The man with a deep voice and a slight southern accent said and you immediately smiled, seeing that the rumors about keeping his character voice were true.

“Yeah, I’m quite a newbie in this type of event, it’s my first time here.” You answered, still not looking at him, searching for a way to run away from this exchange.

“I totally understand,” he cleared his throat searching for something to say, “Did you like the movie ?” He asked with a little pride in his voice.

“Which movie?” It didn’t even occur to you that you were at a party for the movie Elvis, a movie that you watched just before and that you even liked.

“Well, Elvis, my movie.” He explained, a little amused at your question and you were glad that he wasn’t mad at you for this.

“Oh my god I’m sorry,” you quickly responded, clearly embarrassed by your mistake, “I loved it, a lot, it was wow, it was something.” You muttered and finally looked at his face and you wish you didn’t. His blue eyes felt like they were piercings your own dark irises, a smirk plastered on his face while he watched you attentively. “You were incredible.” You let out, almost like a whisper.

“Thank you, it was my job to mesmerize the ladies.” He joked and you laughed, feeling a little bit ridiculous to have a change in your attitude so obvious once you saw his handsome features. “Do you want another drink?” He asked sweetly and you immediately accepted.

You’re night was delighted with Austin. You drank all night with him, laughing and talking in each other's ears with sultry voices.

You were now feeling a little tipsy and clearly the man talking at you was partly responsible for your situation. Your bodies were pressed against each other’s, slowly swinging with the music. Austin’s hands found their place on your waist, going up and down almost cupping your breast.

“You wanna go somewhere else?” He whispered in your ear and you shivered from the sound of his deep voice in your ear.

“Where are you taking me?” You slightly teased him hoping he would announce that you were taking the way to his hotel room.

“Wherever you want, lead the way.” You could hear an almost innuendo in his sentence as his hand traveled from your waist to your thighs. His touch lingered on your skin.

“Well.” You took his hand ready to lead the way to your hotel room with a slight smirk, feeling hot and dizzy from the alcohol and the touch of the handsome boy behind you.

“Y/n! Where do you think you’re going?” Your manager hissed while taking you by the arm, she eyed Austin from head to toe, not impressed by him, “We’re going home, you have to rest.” She gave the two of you a death stare before pulling you out of the party to the car waiting for you to come home.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” You asked, clearly pissed off.

“Well, I’m keeping you from making a fool of yourself.” She strictly said, looking at her phone to message all the people she managed to find for the evolution of your career.

“Making a fool of myself are you kidding me?” You were clearly annoyed now, with a harsh tone in your voice.

“Look darling, I think, and it’s only for your well-being, that it would be terrible for you and your reputation to be seen as a whore fucking with anyone. It would be a shame wouldn’t it be?” She wasn’t really asking you a question, she was simply stating her mind with an almost mom tone, clearly looking down on you.

“I don’t accept that you think you can talk to me like that.” You harshly spoke and she simply hummed, not interested in this conversation anymore.

The rest of the ride was silent, an electric atmosphere lingered in the car. Once you arrived at your hotel, you quickly got out of it, ignoring the voice of your manager giving you instructions for tomorrow. You walked to your room, frustrated, feeling like you were 15 all again and people could feel like they had a word to say in your life. You’re sure you had at least an hour of nervous breakdown, all the pressure washing over you. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be your life, maybe you didn’t have the shoulders for it.

As you were wiping the mascara that runned, watching attentively at yourself in pity, your phone ringed, getting you out of your racing mind. The number was unknown and you were ready to freak out at the person calling you at this hour.

“What?” You harshly asked while picking up, not even letting your interlocutor speak.

“Is it y/n?” A deep voice asked and you couldn’t believe your ear.

“Austin? How did you get my number?” You murmured, a little bit taken aback by hearing him. He laughed lightly and you loved the sound.

“It was difficult but I did it finally.” He didn’t really answer your question but you couldn’t care less about that with how happy you were to hear him. “I’m sorry my manager is such a bitch, I wish I could have stayed longer.” You explained remorsefully.

“I wish you stayed too but hey,” he paused for a second and you waited for him, “Can I come by?” You could hear the malicious smile in his voice. How could you say no to that proposition?

“I’m texting you the info.” You informed him, trying to hide your excitement. After that you hung up, immediately texting him everything he needed to know to be able to come in. You sprinted to the bathroom to do your makeup, trying to accentuate the gorgeous features of your face. Then, you quickly changed yourself, trying to find something sexy but not too much, putting sexy lingerie under your silk dress. You unbraided your hair from the 2 braids you had done to go to sleep. You quickly picked your curls and coils, reshaping your hair like you wanted it. You plumped your lips one last time with your gloss and looked at yourself with pride.

Approximately 10 minutes after your rush you could hear a car pulling up to your hotel. You quickly looked from your window and you perceived the handsome figure of Austin going out of his car and walking nonchalantly in your hotel. You waited on your bed trying to swallow your nerves, you were not feeling as confident as before now that the effects of alcohol had faded. The knock on your door obligated you to stand up and open it, ready to face the beautiful boy.

“Hey.” He smiled and you step out of the way to let him enter your room.

“Don’t talk too loud, the witch is in the room next to mine.” You said while directing your gaze to your wall to explain to him. He snorted and looked at you from head to toes, letting his gaze stop at every parcel of your skin he could see.

“You’re gorgeous.” He stated while taking you by your hips, your dress slightly went up your thighs.

“And you’re handsome.” You answered and his lips found yours, kissing you passionately like he waited for it the whole night. You placed your arms on his neck while one of his hands was now gripping your ass. A soft moan came out of your mouth, Austin took advantage of it to let his tongue meet yours. Your hand was now pulling his hair, and the slight pain was making him even more hornier, pulling you right against him, feeling the bulge in his pants. The kiss was sloppy and wild, the two of you wanting to feel the other.

You pushed him on the bed, your legs encircling his thighs and his bulge right under your core. You attacked his neck, sucking, biting and kissing it. Your movements were making him even harder and he let out groans at the friction.

“You’re so sexy like that.” He stated, his blue eyes almost closed and his plumped lips slightly ajar. His torso was going up and down from his breathing.

“You should see yourself right now.” you murmured in his ear while unbuttoning his black shirt, caressing his hot skin.

His finger slowly lowered your dress straps, his touch felt like a feather on you. He finally exposed your red lace bra, his mouth traveling from your neck to your chest, his eyes piercing yours and his hips rocking slowly under you.

“Austin.” You moaned and he unclaimed your bra, replacing it with his hands while his hair was pulled by you.

He exchanged your positions and you were now on your back on the bed as Austin was above you, admiring your hair on the bed, your pleased face, your perfect chest and the rest of your body that was perfect for him.

“I want to please you,” he started with his hoarse voice, “to make you come before I fuck you.”

“Please do it.” You muttered as his mouth encircled one of your nipple, biting it slightly. His hand traveled to your panties, primarily playing with you by lightly touching you to earn soft whimpers from your mouth. You could feel his smile. He slowly lowered your panties and coated his fingers with your juice before drawing painfully slow circles on your clit. You pressed your nails into his shoulder and he deeply groaned before lowering his kisses and bites from your breast to your abdomen until he was in front of your pussy.

He looked at you to ask for your consent and you tiredly nodded. Austin kissed the inside of your thighs, letting a hot feeling in every spot his lips touched. He finally licked a long strip of your pussy, tasting you with pleasure as his eyes were still looking into yours. He lapped you like you were the most delicious threat on earth, sucking on your clit and licking it godly.

“You’re so fucking good.” He moaned and as your hand gripped his hair you saw him rutting against the bed trying to relieve himself.

“Fuck Austin, Austin! Don’t stop!” You begged and he added two fingers in your core that made you scream.

“I wasn��t planning on stopping, don’t worry baby.” He said, sending shivers down your core.

As he pulled his fingers in and out of you, eating you out wildly, you were now grinding on his face, chasing your high.

“I’m so close, fuck!” You cried and Austin deeply moaned with how hard you were gripping his hair. You felt your orgasm like the pleasure just exploded in you, you were screaming his name and your breath was ragged. He kept pleasing you until you gently pushed his face away, your legs shakingly encircling his shoulders.

“Fuck, you make me so hard.” Austin muttered and you quickly looked at his pants where the form of his hard dick could now be seen. “You’re gonna let me fuck you hard now, right?” He cockily asked and a horny yes rolled out of your mouth. “You’re so good for me, so gorgeous and sexy, I wish I could have you like that everyday, all day.” He scented your neck, addicted to your perfume.

“Can I make you feel good too?” You asked sweetly and he smirked at you before caressing your cheek.

“Just turn around and bend over for me if you want to please me.” You executed his orders, shivers running down your spine.

You heard him search for a condom in his pocket before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before placing himself behind you, gripping your ass to make it wiggle a little bit while kissing up and down your back.

“You ready?” He whispered and you felt him rubbing his dick slowly on your clit.

“Fuck me Austin.” You almost moaned and Austin slowly entered into you, stretching you deliciously. Your breath hitched, biting your lips in pleasure.

“I don’t think I can control myself with you.” He groaned as he began to move, one hand on your back, pulling out completely before slamming into you. The side of your face crashed on the pillow, moaning all sorts of obscenities. Austin was fucking you wildly, moaning your name from time to time and slightly spanking your ass to hear you scream how much you loved it. One of his hand was on your neck to keep you in position so he could fuck you so deep and good, hitting you at the perfect angle, making your legs tremble and your mind go dumb.

“Austin, Austin, keep…keep doing.” You chanted, liking being used as a fuck toy by the boy. You could feel your core throbbing around Austin’s cock as the sensation of him in you was beginning to be too much to handle. You repeated his name like it was the only thing you could think off while creaming him, your mouth full opened, almost drooling from the pleasure of your orgasm.

“God, you’re making me crazy y/n.” Austin scratched your hips from how his nails were pressed on your hips as he felt his own high from your pulsating pussy. You understood he was coming as you heard the moans he let out and the way his movements were getting sloppier and even stronger.

He stayed in you a little bit more, catching his breath and caressing your back to your thighs softly.

“I’ll be right back.” He whispered as he pulled off of you to throw away the condom. You laid on the bed, watching him tiredly. He sat beside you, putting back on his underwear and your heart ached a little bit, you hoped he would stay at least for the night. When he took completely off his shirt and laid just beside you, taking you in his arms as he caressed your shoulder you felt relieved and content. The smell off his cologne lingered on the sheets and you smiled against his torso.

“What?” He amusedly asked, a smile plastered on his own face.

“Nothing, let me sleep.” You answered in the same tone and he laughed lightly. He peppered your hair with sweet kisses and at this moment you thought that you could get used to this.

The next morning you were alone in your bed, waking up to the voice of your manager at your door screaming at you to wake up before it was too late to go. You sighed, upset from this situation that contrasted completely with the idyllic night before.

“Stop shouting I’m fucking awake!” You screamed in the direction of your door. You then saw the little piece of paper beside you on the nightstand and saw that it was signed Austin.

I loved this night with you but I wish we could get to know each other. What do you think of a date tonight ? I’ll come pick you up at 10.

Austin.

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notes: So.. part 2 ?

I hope you guys liked it, I’m also preparing an Elvis fic so stay tuned.

I’m taking requests by the way.

Likes, reblogs and comments are well appreciated!

I created this blog to allow black girls to feel more comfortable with reading x reader, as a black person I saw how much we weren’t really represented in the fanfic community

* ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° * ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

This is my work, please don’t repost it, translate it or take it without my permission.

04/07/2022

[cherryrainn]

Onceler x reader song fic with the song ‘Puppy Princess’ by Hot Freaks? Like a fluff type thing where Onceler ends up with the reader in the end?

━━ ✧ 𝐩𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬

─ ✩ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ; onceler + you

─ ✩ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ; i love this song hehe

─ ✩ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ; none

─ ✩ 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 ; here

onceler had always been the goofy, optimistic friend of your boyfriend. he couldn't help but feel a bit awkward around you, especially when your radiant smile and cheerful personality lit up the room. you were the kind of person who made everyone feel at ease, and he couldn't deny the massive crush he had on you.

you know me as your boyfriend's goofy friend

whenever you were around, he became clumsier than usual, tripping over his own words and knocking things over. he tried to play it cool, but it was hard to hide the way his heart raced whenever you were near.

i seem to have this effect on women

as the days passed, onceler found himself daydreaming about you more often. he'd catch himself lost in thought, imagining what it would be like to make you laugh, to share stories, and maybe even hold your hand. but he couldn't bring himself to confess his feelings; after all, you were with his best friend, and he didn't want to complicate things.

and your friends aren't as goofy as i am

onceler did his best to keep you entertained whenever you were around. he'd tell jokes, nod enthusiastically at your points, and do whatever he could to make you smile. but deep down, he couldn't shake the sadness that lingered in his heart because you already had a boyfriend.

i try my best to keep you entertained, always laughing at the jokes you are saying

he'd watch the two of you together, laughing and enjoying each other's company, and it tugged at his heartstrings. he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if he were the one making you laugh, sharing moments, and being the one by your side. yet, he knew he had to respect your relationship and wait for the right moment, if it ever came.

i nod my head when you make a point! oh, oh

as time passed, onceler's feelings for you grew stronger, and he found himself daydreaming about the possibility of being with you. he'd imagine moments when he could hold you close and share a kiss, the kind that made his heart race.

kiss me, kiss me with your eyes closed. whisper that your heart shows. all i want is you.. yeah, you

in his quiet moments, he'd wish that you could see him as more than just your boyfriend's goofy friend, that you'd close your eyes and kiss him like you meant it, and that he could hold you and hear you say that he was more than just funny to you. but he kept those thoughts to himself, waiting for the right time to make his feelings known.

hold me, hold me, i'm your bunny. tell me I'm not funny. tell me i'm legit

he couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness when he thought about your boyfriend. he knew that your heart belonged to someone else, and it left him feeling weak and helpless.

cause i feel weak

one day, as you all hung out together, onceler tried to hide his feelings behind his usual goofy demeanor. you and your boyfriend were sharing a moment, laughing and holding hands. onceler watched from the sidelines, his heart aching.

and your hands and your feet

your boyfriend noticed onceler's subdued expression and asked, "hey, onceler, you seem pretty quiet today. everything alright?"

onceler forced a smile and replied, "oh, yeah, just lost in thought, you know? life stuff."

are precious and i'll never feel your touch

you, always perceptive, gave him a warm smile. "if you ever wanna talk about it, we're here for you, onceler."

he nodded, grateful for your kindness, but deep down, he knew that the one thing he couldn't talk about was the one thing he wanted the most – to confess his feelings for you.

you guys came to the restaurant where i clean

in the town where you guys lived, there was a cozy little restaurant where he worked part-time. it was a quaint place, known for its homely atmosphere and delicious food. and it just so happened that you and your boyfriend decided to visit that restaurant one evening.

i saw you in the window, i got flushed

as onceler spotted you through the window, his heart leaped with excitement. you looked even better in the soft, warm glow of the restaurant's lights. he couldn't resist the urge to rush outside and greet you.

"oooh hey, guys!" onceler called out, his voice filled with enthusiasm as he approached your table. you and your boyfriend turned toward him, surprised by the sudden burst of energy.

i rushed outside and cracked some jokes

"hey there," your boyfriend greeted, offering a friendly smile.

onceler couldn't help but feel a bit nervous, but he pushed through it, cracking some of his goofiest jokes. he wanted to make you laugh, to stand out in some way.

you both chuckled at his antics, genuinely amused by his quirky sense of humor. onceler basked in the moment, thrilled to have your attention, even if it was just as the restaurant's resident comedian.

and in a while i came and got your plates. and you guys went on the rest of your date

as the evening continued, onceler had the opportunity to serve your table. he tried to be as attentive as possible, refilling your drinks and ensuring everything was perfect. he watched as you and your boyfriend shared stories and glances, your connection evident.

i scrubbed cheese and wished i was somebody else

meanwhile, onceler was busy scrubbing cheese off dishes in the back, his heart heavy with a longing he couldn't ignore. he wished, just for a moment, that he could be somebody else – somebody who could sweep you off your feet and make you laugh like no one else could. but for now, all he could do was hide his feelings behind his goofy facade and continue cleaning, knowing that he was just the restaurant's quirky employee, while you were the shining star of his dreams.

kiss me

weeks passed since that evening at the restaurant, but onceler couldn't get you out of his damn mind. every day, he watched from afar as you and your boyfriend seemed to grow closer. it was hard for him to admit, even to himself, that he had developed deep feelings for you.

kiss me with your eyes closed

then, one day, onceler received a message from you. it wasn't really a surprise, you were his best friend after all. the text read, "can we talk? i need a friend right now."

his heart raced as he quickly replied, "of course! i'm here for you. do you wanna come over?"

whisper that your heart shows

you arrived at oncelers place later that day, looking visibly upset. he welcomed you inside, offering a comforting smile. "hey, y/n. what's going on? is everything okay?"

all i want is you

you sighed, taking a seat on his couch. "no, everything's not okay," you confessed. "i just broke up with my boyfriend."

yeah, you

onceler's eyes widened in surprise and concern. "i'm so sorry to hear that. sooo... you wanna talk about it?"

hold me

you nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. "it's just...things weren't working out, and i realized that i've been ignoring my own feelings for a while now. i thought i could make it work, but i can't."

hold me, i'm your bunny

he listened attentively as you poured out your heart, offering a supportive presence. "i'm really sorry you're going through this. i'm here for you, okay...? you're not alone."

tell me i'm not funny

you managed a weak smile. "thanks."

tell me i'm legit

with that, you continued to spend the evening together, finding comfort and companionship in each other's company.

cause i feel weak

in the weeks that followed your breakup, you and onceler had grown closer. what started as a simple friendship had blossomed into something more meaningful. you found solace in his goofy humor, and he admired your resilience and kindness.

and your hands and your feet

late-night talks turned into shared dinners, and before you knew it, you were spending most of your free time together. onceler's presence became a source of comfort, and he cherished the moments you spent together.

are precious and i'll never feel your touch

onceler couldn't help but feel like a fool. he cherished the moments you shared, the laughter, and the deep conversations.

i'm a fool

yet, he couldn't escape the nagging doubt that you'd never see him as more than just a friend.

i'm a fool

late at night, he would lay awake, his mind filled with thoughts of you. he questioned whether he was being foolish for letting himself fall for someone who might never feel the same way. the uncertainty gnawed at him, but he couldn't deny the warmth your presence brought into his life.

i'm a fool

the air was thick with tension, both of you sitting on onceler's porch under the shimmering moonlight. you couldn't help but feel drawn to him. onceler, his heart pounding in his chest, looked at you with a mix of hope and nervousness.

kiss me

you turned to him, your eyes locking with his. "onceler," you began softly, your voice wavering just slightly, "there's something i need to tell you."

kiss me with your eyes closed

onceler's gaze held yours, his heart racing even faster. "what is it, y/n?"

whisper that your heart shows

taking a deep breath, you leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his. it was a tender, uncertain move, but it held a world of emotions. "since i... i broke up with my boyfriend," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. "i realized that i've been looking for something, someone, and i think... it's you."

all i want is you, yeah, you

onceler's eyes widened, and a wave of disbelief washed over him. "y...you mean..."

come on now

you nodded, a shy smile playing on your lips. "i mean, i wanna give us a chance. i want to be with you, onceler."

hold me, hold me, i'm your bunny. tell me i'm not funny. tell me I'm legit.

his heart soared, and he couldn't hold back his grin any longer. "y/n, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that." he leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a sweet, passionate kiss. it was a moment filled with all the pent-up feelings, the unspoken words, and the hope that had been building between you.

kiss me

as you pulled away, both of you were breathless, cheeks flushed with emotion. onceler cradled your face in his hands, his eyes filled with tenderness. "you have no idea how much you mean to me."

kiss me with your eyes closed! whisper that your heart shows

you chuckled softly, leaning your forehead against his. "oh, trust me. i know."

all i want is you, yeah, you

[jackinalex]

Would love to hear some of your sweet Jack stories! The guys look adorably charmed by torri! Jealous of you both!!

Okay! This is going to be long so I'm gonna put it under a cut:

My favorite is always going to be when I actually got to meet them and give them hugs. I just remember turning a corner, seeing Jack and screaming "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!" and I wish that I could say that I was a dumb teenager when that happened, but I was fully a junior in college. Jack smiled and said thank you and when I hugged him, he told me I smell nice and I just about passed out. I don't really remember what happened after that other than Alex scooting over so I could get between him and Rian to take a photo, but I squished myself between Rian and Jack lmfaoooo. Sorry, Alex, baby lysm.

I also had a really fun time at my first q&a because I told them that I'd lied about being sick so that I could skip my school's graduation (listen, they weren't my students, it was fine). And they ate that shit up for some reason and made lots of jokes about it. It was THE most fun. That's not Jack specific, but he was there and so lovely, so I'm including it. I have a video of part of it that my friend took. I'm very embarrassed about my accent and my body overall, but if y'all wanna see it, I suppose I could upload it (I think I can do that?). Rian also kept threatening to take a video of me at the show and post it so my district would see lmfao that sociopath. At that show, Jack walked by me between soundcheck and the show and I said hi to him and he smiled and waved, which he did not have to do. His smile MELTS me, man.

At my next q&a/soundcheck, I asked them what their favorite Grayscale song was and Rian thought I asked what their favorite groceries were. I think they misunderstood me at some point the time before too because of my little drawl, but I don't remember what it was. Alex corrected him and Jack just kept on listing different foods he likes to buy lmfaooooo. At that same one, he said fuck and then saw that there were little girls and he was like "oops I'm sorry I didn't know there were younglings here" and idk I thought that was really cute.

Finally, when we went to take the group photo at that q&a, I turned to Jack (AND HE SMILED SO BIG I SWEAR HIS EYES WERE SHINING) and was like, "hey, I don't know if y'all remember me, but I was the teacher who skipped graduation to see y'all in Nashville." He laughed and the other guys I guess were eavesdropping, so they went into making fun of me again, especially Zack, which I enjoyed immensely. Zack is actually really funny when he gets to speak lol.

So yeah! I've only ever had wonderful interactions with Jack. I'm sure there's nothing malicious behind how Jack was acting when Torri met them. I tend to think it's because she was having like a legit convo with Alex and Jack didn't wanna interrupt. They certainly did look charmed by Torri, which is totally fair. She's a sweet angel!