Tumgik
#i wish i was a better brother to my sister
vrystalius · 2 days
Note
Would be willing to do like ,, Rengoku x reader that takes care of Senjuro while he’s away on missions ? Rengoku deserves some love but so does his little brother <333
Visiting the smallest Rengoku.
You had nothing to do with Kyojuro being away on an important mission, so you decided to visit his younger brother.
Pairing: Kyojuro x reader, platonic/familial Senjuro x reader
(A little angsty by the end)
Tumblr media
Your husband has been away for a couple days now. You prepared a large pot for miso soup and some sweet potatoes for your husband to enjoy when he returns from his long mission. After finishing your chores, you decided to pay Senjuro a visit and to help him out a little. You knew that he’s working hard to keep everything together in his family home with Shinjuro doing nothing but cause a mess and drink all day every day, leaving the youngest Rengoku family member to take care of himself and his drunkard father.
You always pitied Senjuro for needing to grow up so fast and barely experiencing childhood. His mother died too early in his life, meaning he barely remembers her. But you also know how much your husband Kyojuro dotes on his little brother and wishes for him to be nothing but happy. Sometimes, you two thought about moving Senjuro to your house, away from Shinjuro and the verbal abuse.
You made sure to prepare Senjuro a small home cooked meal before heading out. You weren’t sure what his favourite food was, so you went with something Kyojuro would’ve liked: sweet potatoes with some rice and fried vegetables and some Mochi you bought from a vendor on your way to the residence. You were sure Senjuro’ll appreciate some home-cooked food! He hasn’t been cooked for in a while.
Upon your arrival, you sound hin sweeping the porch, removing the yellow and orange coloured and dried leaves.
“The leaves match your hair, Senjuro!”
Hearing your voice call out to him so suddenly made him flinch and stiffen up, but his shoulders visibly relaxed after spotting you. Senjuro smiled shyly and waved.
“My brother isn’t here if that’s why you came to visit. He still should be on a mission.”
You knew that Kyojuro’s little brother still has to get used to you being around and marrying his older brother, but you also heard from him that Senjuro really admires you. You haven’t interacted a lot, but everytime you did, his eyes would sparkle in fascination. He always asked you about what you do and how it is to live with his older brother. He is also very curious about your cooking and even mustered courage (he received a lot of pep-talking from your husband) to ask for some of your recipes!
After setting down for lunch and presenting your home-cooked meal to him, Senjuro thanked you with a bright smile. He really missed getting cooked meals that aren’t prepared by himself. You insisted on cooking for him and Shinjuro, preparing more lunch and dinner. That way, Senjuro doesn’t have to cook anything today and maybe even tomorrow. He was extremely grateful and tried to help you out as much as possible, feeling a little guilty for you cooking, even though you are supposed to be a guest. He watched you cook over your shoulder, tip-toeing to try and get a better view.
“Can you teach me that recipe? It looks very tasty.”
He’s extremely fascinated by your whole being. You’re so kind, so talented and beautiful, no wonder why his brother married you. Senjuro is extremely glad to have you as a sister-in-law.
After the meal, you suggested to play a round of Shogi with him. You knew that Shinjuro barely ever leaves his bedroom, meaning Senjuro has no one to play or talk with. That poor boy was forced to grow up to fast and never got to enjoy his childhood, so you wanted to help him be a child again. Even if for a little while. You two sat on the porch during the game. He was extremely happy during the whole match, ranting about his older brother and papa the whole time.
“One time, my brother was teaching how to use the fire breathing technique, and I saw flames sparking out of my sword! It was small, but Kyojuro was so proud of me! We went to town and got a bowl of ramen together. Our father scolded us for coming home so late…”
Senjuro’s eyes were sparkling and a big smile was plastered on his face while moving his pieces. In the end, you let him win to make him just a little happier. But just as he was about to celebrate, Kyojuro’s crow quietly flew above the residence, landing right beside you two. It was quiet for a couple moments before finally announcing what he came here for.
“The flame pillar! The flame pillar fought Upper Moon Three! Upper Moon Three!”
Silence draped over you three as all of you and Senjuro both knew what was the crow was about to announce next. You glanced over at the youngest of the Rengoku’s.
His hands were tightly gripping his hakama pants as his gaze was fixated on the shogi pieces. Tears started forming in the corners of his eyes.
You knew your husband won’t be coming back for the miso soup and sweet potatoes you left at home for him.
💠
I am going to sob during Akaza’s backstory reveal and death, but I probably sobbed more over Kyojuro’s. Senjuro doesn’t deserve anything that happened to him and I’m so glad Shinjuro changed for the better in the end!!. Thank you for requesting this and sorry for the wait!
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!
Take care of yourselves <3
150 notes · View notes
punkshort · 7 hours
Text
Tumblr media
Can You Remember Who You Were?
Pairing: Dave York x f!reader
Summary: When you struggle to stop obsessing about the handsome stranger you met at a coffee shop who ghosted you after one date, fate eventually forces you back together.
Warnings: language, possessive behavior, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex, oral sex (f!receiving), omegaverse dynamics, alcohol consumption, minor physical altercation
WC: 9.1K
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
A/N: For @burntheedges's Roll a Trope challenge I got reincarnation. I also mixed in some a/b/o stuff because I've always wanted to give it a try. Go easy on me, I'm nervous about this one - hope you enjoy. And thank you to @txtattoostark for holding my hand.
When you first met, it was happenstance. An awkward run-in at your favorite coffee shop where he thought your coffee was his until he read your name written on the cup aloud and had the grace to look bashful when he handed it over. A moment later, his own order was ready and you caught the name Dave scrawled on the side. He smiled and raised his cup to you before taking a sip and wishing you a good day before disappearing out onto the busy street.
It was a simple interaction. Nothing terribly special. But you couldn't stop thinking about him the rest of the day.
Dave, Dave, Dave.
Dave, with the soft, gentle brown eyes. Dave, with the chiseled, clean shaven jaw and strong, angular nose. Dave, with the broad shoulders that strained underneath his blue button-down shirt. Dave, with the bare ring finger that still had a visible, yet faded, tan line.
Something about him stuck with you. You felt drawn to him. Connected, somehow, yet you didn't even know him.
After the weekend passed, you managed to clear him from your mind, if only because you stayed as busy as possible. You cleaned your apartment top to bottom. You went to a concert for a band you didn't even like with your friends. You even called your parents and suffered through another phone call where you heard about your brother and sister's lives, how their respective children were, how your brother got a promotion and your sister was thinking of having a third baby. The unspoken question hung heavy in the air, your parents already knowing the answer and predicting your negative reaction by now, so it remained unsaid. But it still stung to be compared to your siblings in that way. Your parents had a skewed notion that maybe it would encourage you to try a little harder if they kept pointing out your brother's success and your sister's natural instinct for motherhood, but it only made you draw into yourself tighter.
Once it was Monday again, you dragged yourself to work. You were so tired from your overly busy weekend that you didn't even think about Dave when you entered the coffee shop. You stood in line, zoning out and in desperate need of caffeine when the door swung open and shut behind you and the sound of dress shoes tapping on the hardwood floors neared.
"Promise not to steal your coffee again."
You swiveled around, eyes wide and heart rattling in your chest when you fixed your gaze on none other than Dave. And much to your dismay, he looked even better than you remembered.
"Oh," you squeaked, subconsciously fixing your hair and glancing around to buy yourself a moment to recover. "Hi again. Two days in a row, what are the odds?" you chuckled dryly, hoping you didn't sound as stupid as you felt. Dave shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled down at you.
"Could've been four but I guess you don't come here on the weekends."
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise and you struggled to respond. Dave took that to mean he caused you offense and quickly rectified it, not wanting to sound like a stalker.
"I'm just kidding."
You laughed and rubbed the scar on the back of your neck, your head spinning. Was he just kidding? Did he come here over the weekend? And if he did, was he hoping to run into you?
"I work around the corner," you explained, telling him the company you worked for. Your mother would have scolded you for telling a stranger where you worked, especially one who might have just admitted to coming to the coffee shop in the hopes of running into you, but you knew it was safe. You didn't know how you knew, you just knew.
Dave nodded and was about to speak when the barista ushered you forward so you could place your order. Before you had a chance to pull out your wallet, Dave leaned over you to tell the barista you were together and added his order before handing over his card.
You couldn't stop the shudder that went down your spine when you heard him speak so close to you, the vibrations of his voice sending a current of electricity through you. At this distance, you could practically smell him, too, and it wasn't just his cologne. It was something else that you couldn't identify but had you weak in the knees.
To be polite, you turned to deny his offer, but he spoke first. And when he did, telling you not to argue and he was happy to do it, his voice deepened and the timber alone caused your body to weaken and your eyes cast down obediently.
"Do you work around here, too?" you asked once you got your coffees and you thanked him for the third time.
"No, I don't."
He walked towards the door and held it open for you, a fourth thank you slipping from your lips. You got the feeling he liked hearing you so thankful and sweet. He smiled every time you said it.
"What brings you out this way, then? Do you live nearby? I don't think I've seen you here before."
Dave walked you to the corner where a shiny, black BMW sat parked.
"Let's just say there's something about the atmosphere I like at this place."
Your face flushed and you took a sip from your coffee, burning your tongue in the process, while you tried to think of something to say. Then you heard the bells from a nearby church and you were stricken with panic.
"Oh, shit! It's already eight?" you asked, yanking your phone out to check the time. You were already late and you still had a ten minute walk ahead of you.
"Come on, get in," Dave said, holding open the passenger side door. "I'll drop you off. You said it's just down the street?"
You contemplated his offer for about three seconds before nodding and jumping into his car. In only took him about two minutes to drop you off in front of your building but you couldn't stop thanking him the entire way, something that continued to delight him.
The rest of the week followed the same pattern. You showed up at your usual time and mysteriously, Dave would appear within a few minutes. He would insist on buying your coffee and on nice days, he would walk you to work. If it was rainy or windy, he would drive you.
By Friday he finally asked for your number and by Saturday you were getting ready for your first date.
Tumblr media
Shannon was your age but she always seemed to be so much wiser and grounded. She had a very different view on life, but she was sweet and fun and you got along the moment you met. While you were used to going out to bars on a Friday night, Shannon preferred to stay in and read about horoscopes, take stock of her essential oils, do some light yoga, or scour eBay for rare crystals. You thought she was a hippie, she preferred spiritually inclined.
Regardless of your differences, she still was a wonderful person and was always there for you. Whether you were going through a bad breakup or upset about something your mom said, she would always be there to listen, rub your back, and kindly suggest a way to unblock your chakra.
You had a handful of other friends who would gladly come over and drink wine while you tried on outfits and help with your makeup, but that wasn't what you needed. You had something else entirely on your mind and you couldn't think of anyone else who might be able to help besides Shannon.
"I've been having dreams."
Shannon raised an eyebrow so far up, it got lost under her curly blonde bangs and thick rimmed glasses.
"What sort of dreams?"
You sighed and sat down on the edge of your bed, your dress partially zipped. "About Dave. And me. And it's just... strange."
Shannon shifted a bit on your mattress, her clunky jade bracelets knocking together in the process. "Go on."
"It feels like a reoccurring dream, but it's not exactly the same. The feeling is the same, though."
"I see," she said thoughtfully. "And what are you doing in these dreams?"
Your face warmed up and you stared at the floor when you said, "Well, we're having sex. But it's not just sex. It's different. Like," you waved your hands in the air as you struggled to come up with an explanation. "I know this will sound crazy, but it feels like in my dreams, we have more of a connection. Like, a purpose or something? And in my dreams it feels so much more intense compared to other guys I've slept with."
"How so?"
You had to give her credit. Shannon was too kind to ever tease you.
"Intense like... if we don't fuck, I'll go certifiably insane."
"Oh," she said, nodding her head, completely unphased. "Interesting. It kind of sounds like something I've read about once before. Have you ever heard of -"
Your doorbell buzzed and you leapt off the bed. "Oh, my god! Zip me up! He's here!"
When you flung your front door open, Dave spun around with a smile, one which widened when his eyes drifted appreciatively up and down your frame.
"Hey," you said breathlessly, feeling that magnetic pull low in your belly again just at the mere sight of him.
"You look beautiful," he told you, and just as he was about to lean in and kiss your cheek, he spotted Shannon emerge from your bedroom behind you with a little wave.
"Oh, this is my friend, she was helping me get ready," you said, turning to introduce them while you grabbed a leather jacket and your purse.
"Have a great time, I'll lock up when I leave."
You both thanked her before heading outside towards Dave's car. His arm naturally found its place protectively around your waist and you practically glowed from his touch.
Dave picked a restaurant that you'd never heard of and when you walked inside, you quickly figured out why. It was easily the fanciest place you had ever eaten and if it wasn't for his reassuring touch or warm smile, you would have felt out of place. But once you sat down, the rest of the room melted away and it was just the two of you in your own little world. The entire time you both were leaning across the table, bodies pulling closer and closer on their own accord as you absorbed every little detail about each other. You learned Dave used to be in the military and now works as an operative in the CIA, something that should have intimidated you but it just made him more attractive. He was a protector, he knew how to handle himself and he was smart, qualities which turned you on and had you yearning for more.
When he admitted to being recently divorced, the hairs on your arm stood up and jealousy bloomed hot in your chest. The sudden idea of him with another partner unlocked something inside you that screamed mine, mine, mine.
By all accounts, your first date was perfect. There was never any lack of topics for conversation, you always felt perfectly at ease and safe, and it went by way too fast even though you were the last table to leave the restaurant.
But when he dropped you off and walked you to your door, something changed from that point forward. He kissed you, gently and sweetly at first, but when your lips brushed together for the very first time it set something on fire inside you that you couldn't ignore. You had no idea how it happened, but the next thing you knew he was pinning you up against your door, your wrists captured in each of his massive hands and held next to your head while his tongue licked aggressively into your mouth.
Then you released a little whimper, a little cry against his mouth and it nearly brought him to his knees. The needy sound reverberated through his entire being and had him forgetting who he was, where he was, what planet he was on because that little sound had his body and mind responding in a way he couldn't explain.
And it frightened him.
He pulled away and put some distance between you, palm dragging over his wet mouth, eyes hungrily devouring your wrecked state. Still leaning against the door, you panted heavily and stared at him through heavy lidded eyes.
He scratched at something invisible behind his ear and took a deep, steadying breath.
"I should go."
You frowned, still trying to catch your breath. "W-what? Was it something -"
Dave quickly shook his head and stepped further away.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow," he promised, then turned on his heel, practically running back to his car while you stood there, completely dumbfounded.
Tumblr media
As it turned out, you did not hear from him the following day. Nor did you see him at your coffee spot the entire fucking week. By Tuesday, after sending a few pathetic texts that went unanswered, you forced yourself to accept reality.
Dave ghosted you and you would never see him again.
It was just one date. You only knew him for a week but it felt like so much more and you couldn't help but be torn up about it.
On Tuesday night, you called Shannon to tell her. You did your best not to cry but she could hear it in your voice.
"It felt like such a strong connection, you know?" you said sadly, plucking at a loose thread on your sweater.
"Well, what do you think happened?"
You shrugged and tossed yourself backwards onto your bed. "I don't know. The date went great, he dropped me off at the front door, we were kissing and things were getting heated and then all of the sudden, just -" you snapped your fingers. "He had to leave. Said he would talk to me the next day and I never heard from him again."
You heard her hum on the other end and clink a spoon in her mug. "Suppose my silly theory was wrong, then."
"What theory?"
"The dreams you were having and the feelings you were describing sounded like something I've read in one of my books, I wondered if it were real."
One of her books. You rolled your eyes, knowing she had a very strange collection of reference material spanning from meditation and Hinduism to books about Karma and the Kama Sutra.
Even so, you humored her and let her continue.
"Do you believe in past lives?" she asked. You hid your scoff behind your hand and cleared your throat.
"Uh, can't say that I do."
"That's okay, I know it's a bit out there, but it sounds very much like you might have a connection with this man that supersedes this earthly plane. And what I mean is, you may be destined to be together."
"Like, soulmates?" you asked dubiously.
"Mmm, not exactly. What I'm thinking is a little more physical. I have a book that talks about reincarnation and the ability to imprint on another person to the degree where the link follows you throughout all your lives. If it's at all possible, you will always find each other. Although it's usually pretty rare..."
"What do you mean, if it's possible?"
Shannon flipped through some pages of a book, humming under her breath before she said, "Well, if one of you comes back as a bear and the other a human, odds are it won't be a happy reunion."
You couldn't help it, you had to laugh. Shannon wasn't offended. She knew you didn't mean any disrespect and her beliefs were a little more difficult for others to understand.
"Okay, thank you. I needed a reality check," you said with a smile. "I hear what you're saying: we just met and there's zero reason for me to be acting this way."
"No, that's not at all what I mean," Shannon replied. "I haven't actually known anyone personally who went through something like this, but I've read about this phenomenon online."
"Alright, this is getting a little too weird, even for me," you said, sitting up in bed.
"Just Google it!" Shannon told you before you finished your call. "Read what others have said and see if you can relate."
You promised her you would give it a try the next day but you never got around to it. Instead, you went back to moping and staring at your ignored texts to Dave for the rest of the week.
By the time Friday came, you were ready to blow off some steam, refusing to spend another night wasting away over some man who just happened to be an insanely good kisser and whose scent you couldn't erase from your memory.
You agreed to go out with a small group of girls after work. The alcohol buzzing in your veins and the loud music in the bar helped you forget about Dave, but when other men approached you to dance, you just couldn't do it. You politely turned them down and stayed with your co-workers, Dave's rejection still leaving its mark on you. You listened to them complain about a team lead they couldn't stand who got a promotion she didn't deserve and then, as they began to drink a little more, discussed the finer qualities of the cute guy in the mail room.
In retrospect, leaving by yourself when you became too tired wasn't the best choice. You had a longer walk back to your bus stop than usual and it was eerily quiet out, but you wrapped your arms around yourself and kept your head down. And it almost worked, too, until you heard a familiar voice behind you.
"Need a ride, pretty girl?"
The hairs on the back of your neck stood up and you kept pushing forward after tossing a no, thanks over your shoulder.
"Don't need to be rude," the voice replied, now much closer. You glanced around nervously and didn't see another soul on the street. Only parked cars.
You moved faster but it wasn't good enough. A hand clasped onto your shoulder, grip firm and frightening, and fear shot through you. You broke out into a cold sweat when he pushed you against a building, caging you in and leering down at you, his sour breath poisoned by alcohol. You recognized him as someone from the bar but before you had a chance to process anything else, two massive hands dug into his shoulders and yanked him away in the blink of an eye.
You shirked away when you heard a fist meeting soft tissue, then the clattering of teeth and a pained groan. Your savior's voice growled threateningly, warning the man to get the fuck out of here before I put you in the goddamn hospital, then you heard the squeaking of shoes against concrete and hurried, retreating footsteps down the street.
You were scared. He could sense it. He could fucking smell it. It made his skin crawl and his stomach turn.
Dave's voice was so deep and gravelly, you didn't even recognize him. Not until he crouched in front of you on the street, his dark eyes filled with worry as they scanned your face for any injury did you realize it was even him. Tears welled up in your eyes and he cupped your face. He looked like he was in extreme pain as he watched your tears begin to fall. He then stood, scooping you up so he could carry you to a nearby parked car.
"I'm going to take you home," he said when he placed you gently in the front seat. You had about fifteen seconds to gather your thoughts while he hurried around to the other side of his car.
"Why are you here, Dave?" you asked when he turned his key in the ignition. He paused momentarily before putting his seatbelt on and merging onto the empty street.
"Right place, right time," he muttered. He was gripping the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles turned white. You watched him closely from the passenger seat, not believing him for one second but for some inexplicable reason, it didn't frighten you. In fact, you liked it. The idea of Dave being nearby, possibly watching you, made you feel safe and protected, although you hardly knew him.
You took a deep breath, about to muster up the courage to ask him why he had ignored you all week when you were suddenly overwhelmed with his scent. You couldn't describe it but it was a smell uniquely tied to him. You made a little noise in the back of your throat and squirmed in your seat, desperately trying to stay focused and present, but your body had other plans.
Dave's eyes shifted to you, his nostrils flaring at the way your legs rubbed together and your breath picked up and then he smelled it: the first scent of your arousal in the air. That was all it took for him to forget who he was and succumb to his baser instincts.
His cock throbbed painfully hard in his jeans and his molars were practically ground to dust by the time he arrived at your apartment. You fumbled with the seatbelt, desperate to disappear inside and pretend this embarrassing interaction never happened, but you weren't fast enough. Dave had gotten out of the car so quickly that he was already yanking your door open and violently pulling the seatbelt away from your waist. You blinked up at him as if you were trying to clear your vision and jumped out of the car.
Something felt wrong.
You had an ache between your legs that was growing impossible to ignore and your brain was a hazy, swirly mess being so close to his scent. Did someone spike your drink at the bar?
"Thanks," you whispered, chest rising and falling faster as you tried to drag in more air. Your skin was far too sensitive. All you could think about was getting inside before you tore your clothes off in the middle of the parking lot. "I'll, um, see you around, I guess."
He nodded, his neck and cheeks tinted pink as he stared down at you hungrily. "Wait," he croaked when you made a move to leave, eyes burning red hot into you. "Can we - can I explain - fuck," he winced, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to block your scent from his nostrils so he could take a second to fucking think. He felt like he was going insane and he had no idea why.
"You wanna come inside and explain why you haven't talked to me in a week?" you asked bitterly, your arousal temporarily forgotten. "Why you've been ignoring me? Why you made me feel terrible? I was out tonight trying to forget you, Dave. I was hoping it would be the first night all week I didn't cry, but it's too late for that."
He swallowed thickly, eyes all wide and filled with despair as he gazed down at you. "I made you cry?" he asked softly. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him that he failed, that he did the one fucking thing he shouldn't have done.
You huffed and crossed your arms before looking away. "You hurt my feelings, Dave," you mumbled.
His heart lurched in his chest and he took a step forward to gently cup your face. Despite your anger, you gazed up at him with glassy eyes and almost immediately melted into his touch.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm so, so sorry. Will you let me explain?"
Reluctantly, you nodded and allowed him to trail after you to your front door.
You flicked the lights on in your kitchen and living room before turning around. Dave stood there looking too big in your average sized apartment, gaze drifting over your walls, your pictures, your plants, your life.
With a little distance, he could feel the clouds clearing and his senses returning, so he took a steadying breath before speaking.
"About last week," he began. You were in the middle of closing your curtains when you turned around to listen. "I didn't want to scare you, but something happened to me that night." You frowned, pulling the curtains closed the rest of the way and took a few steps towards him. Almost instantly he could smell you again, the wetness between your legs practically calling to him, and he quickly held up both hands so you would stop.
"You gotta stay over there," he warned. Hurt flickered over your face but you obeyed and stepped back until you were by the window again. After a moment, the air cleared enough so he could focus and he slowly dropped his hands back to his sides. He was so hard, it almost made him sick.
"I'm sorry," he said once again. "That's part of what I'm talking about. When you're close to me," he pursed his lips and dropped his chin to his chest while you patiently waited for him to continue. "When you're close to me, I can't fucking think straight. And I know it sounds dramatic," he chuckled, looking back up at you across the room. "I know it sounds like I'm making it up but I promise you, I'm not."
"I think I know what you mean," you said softly after a quiet moment. His eyebrows raised a bit, curious for you to elaborate. "It's like... your scent."
"Yes!" Dave exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "I don't understand it but you're giving off a scent and it's doing something to me. Something that frightens me."
You swallowed nervously and took a small step forward.
"Would you... hurt me?"
Dave's eyes went wide and he vigorously shook his head.
"No," he whispered, "never."
You took another step forward and his eyes flickered down to your feet.
"Then what would you do to me?"
His eyes slid shut and he crossed his arms over his chest. What wouldn't he do to you? He would bury his face between your legs until you screamed his name. He would stuff you full of his cock over and over, as many times as you could take it. He wanted to leave love bites all over your body so anyone looking at you would know you're his.
But that would be absurd. You just met and only had one date.
Without even needing to open his eyes, he knew you were closer. The thick smell of your slick filled the air, swirling around him, driving him to the brink of insanity until he was convinced the only cure would be to fuck you senseless.
"I feel it, too, Dave," you whispered, your hands coming up to pull lightly on his arms, unknotting them from their protective place over his chest. You nipped hesitantly at his neck, your lips puckering over his tanned skin, and he felt his resolve crumble.
"Fuck, what is this?" he breathed, his body pulling him forward. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. His mouth pressed into your hair, deeply breathing in your scent, then he dragged his mouth lower. His tongue flicked out to taste your skin, the burst of flavor - you - making his head swim the closer he got to the back of your neck. Before he reached the scar you kept hidden by your hair, he pulled back, gasping for air.
"Come with me," you said with heavy lidded eyes and wet, parted lips. He nodded and followed you, logic and reason fading with each step. He had never felt like this before. It felt like he was being driven by pure instinct, like some kind of animal.
Dave swallowed when you pulled your shirt over your head as you walked, your bare back teasing him with what he could not yet see. Then you worked on your pants, unbuttoning and shimmying out of them as you approached your bed. His cock strained against the metal zipper of his jeans, begging to be touched, begging to be buried deep inside your soaked cunt. And it was soaked. He could see your dampness darkening the fabric of your underwear when you bent forward.
Finally, you turned to face him wearing nothing but your panties and a nervous smile. A low groan escaped from the back of his throat while his gaze drifted slowly down your body, taking in every soft curve and slope while he began to unbutton his shirt.
"You're perfect," he said lowly, shrugging off his shirt before his hands found his belt. "I want you so fucking bad, sweetheart, it hurts. I want to make you mine, make you scream my name til it's the only word you ever remember. I want to fill you up so you're feeling me for days. Want to give you everything you could ever need. Then I want to do it all over again."
Your knees felt weak as you felt another wave of arousal spread through your stomach and between your legs. Shakily, you crawled onto the bed as Dave approached like a predator from the doorway, shedding his clothes and pinning you with an intense stare that, if it were anyone else, would make you nervous.
"You want all that?" he asked you. You were nodding but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the bulge straining in his boxers now that he stepped out of his pants. "Say it," he commanded, and something about his tone made your eyes snap up to his and your spine immediately straighten.
"Yes. I want it. I want you," you replied, then reached your arms out for him to join you. A pleased look passed across his face at your invitation as he kneeled on the bed with you, towering over you with his broad frame, making you feel so small.
He leaned forward with his hands brushing lightly over your shoulders and his lips parted as he admired you openly. Then he murmured, "Lay down and spread your legs," and you felt your stomach flip as you did what you were told.
Dave palmed himself through his boxers when his eyes locked onto the wet spot spreading in your underwear. His long fingers hooked around the fabric and pulled them down, slowly exposing yourself to him. You watched, squirming impatiently, as his eyes turned from brown to almost black when he took a deep breath and spread your legs wide into the bedding.
"I need you," you whimpered. Your skin felt like it was on fire and you were so aroused it almost fucking hurt but you were certain Dave would be able to fix it. You didn't know why or how, but you just knew.
"I know, baby," he said, shifting down so he laid between your legs, his angular nose nudging against your folds and his hot breath fanning over your leaking cunt. You shivered and whined but his big hands held you in place.
"I'm gonna take good care of you, don't worry," was the last thing he said before he placed a sweet kiss on your mound. Then he kissed you again except that time, his tongue flicked out, catching your clit, and the noise that came from your mouth was borderline embarrassing.
"God, you're so wet," he whispered in awe inbetween plunging his tongue in and out of your opening, reveling in the taste of your pussy. The way your scent had engulfed him made him feel insane and the only thing he wanted to do was pull more sweet noises from your lips.
There was no explaining that night. At least, not rationally. The two of you fell into something neither of you experienced before but somehow was all too familiar. You found yourself being far more submissive than you ever were with anybody else, like your body had taken over and knew just what to do. Anything Dave asked of you, you did it, trusting him implicitly.
It was a combination of your sobs and whimpers that drove him forward like an animal, unable to stop eating at your cunt until you came twice from his tongue. You finally had to tug on his hair to pull him away, your skin coated in a thin layer of sweat and chest heaving beneath him.
"Could smell you all fucking night," he admitted hoarsely, wiping his palm over his slick covered mouth. "Drove me crazy, couldn't stop thinking about it. Christ, I- I've never needed someone this badly, baby," he told you as he pushed his boxers off and gripped the base of his cock in his fist. "'M sorry, can't explain it-"
"I know," you croaked before hauling yourself up from the mattress. You moved towards him on your knees, legs still wobbly but you managed to hold yourself up. "I feel it, too. I don't want to leave this bed for a week," you murmured before pressing your lips against his and groaning at the taste of you on his mouth. Again, all you could think was mine, mine, mine. You were consumed by the thought, overwhelmed by the idea of Dave smelling like you so everybody would know he was yours.
Your tongue dove into his mouth greedily, a sentiment he easily returned. You dragged your fingers through his hair, down his neck, over his broad shoulders and down his soft stomach until you found his cock standing at attention between you.
"I- shit," Dave moaned when your lips nipped and sucked down his jaw until you found a tender spot behind his ear you seemed to like while your fist slowly pumped him up and down. "I don't have a condom, I didn't think... do you have any?"
You did, but you paused and thought about it. Even though you were on birth control, you still always used a condom, just to be extra safe. But the idea of having a barrier between you and Dave just felt wrong. You wanted to feel him bare, you needed it. So, you decided on a non-answer.
"I'm on birth control," you whispered, and Dave seemed just as relieved as you at the prospect of taking you raw. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying the way you continued to suck and bite at the spot behind his ear while stroking his cock. He wanted to tell you there was a scar there, one he couldn't remember getting, but he was struggling to form a coherent thought.
When your teeth grazed his skin too harshly, he growled and bared his teeth like a goddamn animal, but not because it hurt. Because it felt good.
"Think you can take it, baby?" he rasped, fingers pressing into the softness of your hips.
"Mhmm," you hummed, finally tearing yourself away from his neck, proudly leaving a little red mark of your own before letting go of his cock and twisting around to fall onto all fours.
Dave moaned at the sight of you presenting yourself to him on a silver fucking platter before crawling forward.
He took hold of himself, all heavy and leaking, so he could notch at your entrance. He hummed a little, enjoying the way your warmth spread over his engorged tip, using it to spread your slick around to make it easier to first enter you.
Impatiently, you wiggled a little and tried to spear yourself on him, but he chuckled and grabbed your waist, making you still.
"Want it that bad?" he taunted, voice dropping low, the lust in his veins pumping hard and fast through every inch of his body.
"Yes," you whined, tilting your head back as if you were in pain. "Yes. Please, Dave, don't tease me."
And how could he deny you? He simply wasn't strong enough, his need for you so hot that it burned through his resolve in a matter of seconds.
His eyelids fluttered when his tip slipped past your folds, jaw dropped when he first pressed a few inches inside, face twisting and breath growing ragged when his hips finally came flush with your ass.
"Oh, fuck," he groaned, blinking away the tears that suddenly burned his eyes. Shaky hands found your hips and he braced himself, taking a few deep breaths while he waited for your walls to relax and your whimpering to quiet down.
Dave swallowed and looked down, nearly coming apart right then and there at the sight.
"God, baby, you oughta see the way you stretch for me," he breathed, still staring down where you were connected. "That feel good? Hm? Talk to me," he pleaded before drawing back an inch just to watch more of your arousal get pushed out when he slid back inside.
"Yes," you hissed, "I'm so hot, Dave, it feels like I'm on fucking fire, please fucking move."
"Are you sure?" he asked, but his hips had already begun to rock into you without his permission. You nodded and let your eyes fall closed so you could focus on the way each one of his thrusts and grunts soothed the flames roaring inside you.
"Harder," you whispered, not even sure he heard it, but then a moment later his grip around you tightened and his hips snapped faster, the sounds of his skin slapping against your ass filling the room and making you dizzy.
You heard him whispering something to himself but you couldn't make it out. You craned your neck back, bleary eyes trying to find his but every forceful thrust of his hips jolted your entire body and sent you halfway up the bed just to have his massive hands drag you back down.
"Fuck it," he murmured before grabbing you by the shoulders and yanking you up so your back was pressed to his chest. You gasped in surprise and cried out at his relentless pace, never once missing a beat. One of your hands reached around to grab the hair on the back of his head, pulling him close so his mouth was directly next to your ear.
"So - fucking - tight. Want you so - fucking - bad," he whispered through clenched teeth. Both his arms circled around your middle in order to keep you steady, sweaty skin sticking to sweaty skin. You twisted your neck, seeking out his mouth so you could swallow down those words and have them echo like the beat of a drum inside you.
Your lips crashed together, messily licking and biting at one another while he grunted and growled, hammering into you with everything he had. The tip of his cock reached a spot deep within you that forced all the air from your lungs just to be followed by a sharp gasp. It was making you lightheaded, the persistent pattern - grunt, thrust, gasp, grunt, thrust, gasp - and then his hand traveled lower.
"Oh!" you cried out, your fingers slipping through the thick hair on the back of his head and body slumping a bit but he kept a firm hold around your ribs, still pressing you against his front while his fingers rubbed fast, precise circles over your clit.
Your thighs began to shake and your hips sunk lower, unable to keep yourself from giving into the pleasure mounting low in your belly. Your muscles fucking burned from the effort to stay upright, even with his help it was becoming impossible to do.
"Dave," you whimpered, eyes squeezed shut as your head came to rest on his shoulder. It was all you could remember to say, Dave, Dave, Dave. Just like he said. And it was perfect because that was all he wanted to hear.
"You're close," he murmured, lips pressed against the shell of your ear, fingers working expertly over your clit and hips still snapping tirelessly against your ass. You just nodded, slack jawed, as you focused on your release. So close. So fucking close, you wanted to say, but no words came out.
"Give it to me," he growled, voice sounding like a command. Your eyes flew open and a moment later, you came. You bore down on him, pussy clenching around his thick shaft still slamming inside you, in and out, in and out, while you wailed his name over and over until you grew weak and your muscles threatened to give out.
Dave made a pleased sound before pushing you forward onto the bed. You fell onto your forearms with a huff, still in a rosy haze from your orgasm. One hand gripped your hip, the other your shoulder, and he used you. He fucking used you to get himself off, slamming into you as hard as he liked, chasing his release, puffing and growling above you until he finally stilled and you felt his spend slowly fill you up.
"Fuck!" Dave groaned, gaze pinned to the way he spilled out of you when he pulled out. "Fucking beautiful, baby," he whispered hoarsely, still panting for breath as he continued to watch. You whined and your hips began to drop, so he collapsed next to you and tugged you against him, spooning you with his face pressed into your shoulder and his hands soothingly stroking any part of you he could reach.
"I'll... I'll get you something in a minute," he muttered, chest still heaving as he held you close. You just shook your head and closed your eyes.
"It's okay," you whispered softly.
There was so much you wanted to say, but fear held you back. You wanted to tell him how incredible it was, how you never came that hard before in your life, how amazing you felt now that he finally gave you what you needed.
Once his breathing evened out, he began to nose gently at your back. He trailed up through your hair, pushing it aside until his tongue found the skin on the back of your neck. It felt so good, melting in his arms and sharing in a warm glow while he bit and licked at the back of your neck. It didn't even strike you as an odd thing to do, the pair of you were too deep to recognize it.
With a sigh, you lifted his left hand from your stomach and examined his long fingers, your own slowly tracing his as he continued to mindlessly suck at your neck.
"What's the story here?" you asked bravely, tapping twice on the tan line of his ring finger. "You never really said much."
He grunted into your skin and forced himself to unlatch from your neck.
"Was married," he said simply. "Didn't work out."
You hummed and laced your fingers with his while he watched from over your shoulder. His cock twitched alive against your thigh when you wiggled in his grasp.
"Why?"
He shrugged, lips dragging over your shoulder. If someone had asked him that six months ago, he would have had a much more emotional reaction. Anger mixed with pain, most likely. But you had somehow managed to dwindle it down to a light shrug.
"Don't think it was just one thing," he admitted.
You nodded solemnly, thumb brushing lightly over his knuckles.
"Does it still hurt to talk about?" you asked him. You wished you knew more but you feared you might burst the perfect little bubble you had found yourselves in.
Dave smiled and, with his free hand, lifted your leg so your ankle rested on the outside of his knee.
"Not anymore," he said right before sinking back inside you.
Tumblr media
It was the dreams that finally made you both snap out of the lust filled stupor you were lost in.
Dave had spent the night and entire next day with you, only giving yourselves enough time to eat and rest in between the countless times you found yourself impaled on his cock. It was sometime in the mid afternoon when you had fallen asleep on his chest that you awoke with a start, unable to shaky an eerie feeling.
"Dave?"
His eyes snapped open and found yours, looking slightly rattled, himself.
You breathed a sigh of relief and nuzzled into his bare chest. "I had such a weird dream."
"Me, too," he said, voice thick with sleep. He swiped a palm over his face before stretching both arms above his head. "What was yours about?"
You went on to tell him about the very vivid dream you had about him, although the man in your dreams didn't look like Dave nor did he have the same name, you just somehow knew it was him. With your face heating up, you glazed over the part where you fucked like animals in heat for a week straight and all together left out the end where you had a full blown family together, figuring it would be a bit too much and it would most definitely scare him off. But much to your surprise, he detailed a dream of his own that was so similar, it gave you goosebumps.
"Maybe we need to get out of this apartment for five fucking minutes," you joked, yet still couldn't shake the lingering feeling of familiarity.
After a few moments where you both remained quiet and lost in thought, Dave spoke again.
"There was something else."
You tilted your chin up to meet his gaze.
"I think we had... a family."
Dave closed his eyes as if he too felt like saying it would be too much too fast, but you shot up excitedly in bed.
"We had kids in my dream, too," you confessed, and the both of you stared at one another in shock. "And this isn't the first time, either," you added. Embarrassment was the furthest thing from your mind now as the words came tumbling from your lips. "I had them before we even had our first date."
Dave's eyes went wide and he sat up, as well.
"Shit," he muttered, "me, too. Thought I was crazy."
"Maybe we are," you huffed, still in complete disbelief. Then you remembered what Shannon had said when you poured your heart out to her and your brow furrowed before digging in the sheets for your phone.
"What is it?" he asked as he watched you.
"My friend, the one you met the night we had our date," you said as you busily focused on your phone. "She knows a little about this stuff. She's a little strange but -"
"Let's go talk to her," he said before you even had to ask. You sent your text and looked around your room.
Could you really have known one another in a past life?
Tumblr media
You weren't sure how you got there, but in just a few short days you found yourselves standing outside the old Victorian house of Talia Carter, a friend of Shannon's whom she recommended the minute she read your text about your shared dreams.
Talia, or 'Duchess' as she preferred to be called, claimed to be clairvoyant and promised she would be able to do readings on you both to find out if your hunch was right or if you were both just certifiably insane.
Despite all the evidence, you still had your doubts as you climbed the old wooden steps of her porch. Talia swung the door open, her bright red lipstick laid on thick and stretched into a wide smile framed by her very long, straight dark hair. But her smile faded almost instantly once she saw you and she gripped the doorframe for support, alarming you both. She quickly shook her head and refocused her gaze on you both before apologizing and ushering you inside.
You hesitated for a moment and glanced up at Dave.
"My friend Shannon called, I'm -"
"I know, sweetheart," she said as if it were clear as day. "I know exactly who you are."
Dave's hand fell to your lower back and he peered inside her house before determining she wasn't some kind of obvious psycho before nodding to you and taking your hand. Talia bit back a smile and she stepped aside, holding the door open wide for you both.
"If you would like to follow me, I have a study where I do my readings just off the kitchen. Can I get you anything to drink?" she asked over her shoulder, leading you past a dark cherry wooden dining room table and matching China cabinet, as well as countless green plants stuck on every flat surface.
"No, thank you," you said, gaze roaming around the room, temporarily stunned by the very unique Elizabethan style she chose. It seemed as though she liked her wallpaper dark and oriental rugs mismatched. The woodwork appeared to be all original, or at least it was made to look that way, and it was all meticulously cared for.
"I prefer to model my home after my own past life," she said when she caught you gawking at the beautiful wainscotting and then the glittery chandelier above her desk.
The two of you sunk down into a soft velvet sofa across from her.
"You remember your past life?" Dave asked, his hand falling to your knee, body curling protectively around you when he crossed a leg and leaned forward. Talia noticed but she didn't say a word. Not yet.
"Yes. I believe Shannon mentioned I preferred to go by Duchess," she explained as she pulled out some tarot cards as well as a few books from the built in bookshelf behind her. "I was the Duchess of Argyll and I still very much connect with that lifestyle, so I have tried to recreate it in my home."
"Well, you've done a beautiful job," you told her honestly. She paused and gave you a sweet smile before opening one of her books and flipping through the pages.
"You are very kind, thank you," she said, "but we are not here to talk about my past life. We are here to talk about yours."
You bit your lip and leaned closer to Dave. Without even looking up, she asked, "Hundreds of years ago, the human race was suffering and on the brink of going extinct. It's believed Mother Nature took over and created ranks among human beings in order to boost the population. Have you ever heard of Alphas and Omegas?"
You both frowned and shook your heads. When she found the page she wanted, she lit up and turned it around, pushing it across the desk so you could see.
"I could do a reading on you both, but it's simply not necessary," she said. You were about to lean forward to look at the page when you froze.
"Why?"
She grinned and sat back in her chair, looking at the two of you like she couldn't believe her eyes.
"I sensed it the moment I saw you. You were mates in a prior life," she replied. She pointed to Dave's hand on your knee. "You're very protective of her, yes?"
Dave shrugged and scooted closer to the edge of the sofa. "That isn't unusual."
"No, you're right," she said, then leaned forward to rest her elbows on her desk, lacing her fingers together. "But tell me, do you have any noticeable scars? Maybe ones you have trouble remembering how they came to be?"
Your hand immediately came up to rub the back of your neck and Dave noticed. Visions of him licking and biting in that very same spot swam in your memories and you glanced up at him once again, watching as he came to the same realization.
"How did you get that?" he asked you softly. Your eyes darted wildly back and forth between his before answering.
"My mom and dad always told me different stories, I'm not - I was never really sure."
Then you recalled how fixated you were on the spot behind his ear the first time you had sex and you lunged forward, brushing his hair out of the way with a gasp.
"Where did -"
"I don't know," he said immediately, the energy in the room shifting as you both stumbled into something inexplicable. "I grew up in an orphanage. No one was ever able to tell me."
Your eyes watered for a moment at the thought of a young Dave growing up scared and all alone, but you forced yourself to put it out of your mind for now. You turned back to Talia, who was watching you both with an unreadable expression.
You told her everything. You told her about your dreams, the extraordinary pull between you, the intensity and passion when you had sex, the hopelessness you felt when you thought he rejected you. And most importantly, the calm and secure feeling whenever he was near.
She gave the book a little nudge and you took it on your lap so the two of you could read, but you were hardly absorbing any of it. The words knot, glands, scent marking, heat, imprinting floated across the page while she spoke, explaining everything she knew. And as crazy as it all sounded, neither of you could deny the signs.
You stayed for over an hour, asking question after question. She explained how your scars were most likely remnants of the scent glands that each of you pierced, which bonded you forever as mates. How the dreams that you both had were memories of your past life and the unbreakable bond you shared was what drew you together. When you mentioned the way your body felt like it was on fire, skin hot to the touch, she explained in more detail about heats and ruts and how it was your body's response to finding one another.
When you finally stood to leave, exhausted and unable to think of another question, she refused to take Dave's money. When he tried to insist, she held up her hands and shook her head firmly.
"You have no idea how rare this is for someone like me. Meeting the two of you is an experience I will never forget."
She even let you take home the book you had still open on your lap, your minds racing as you tried to keep up with the whirlwind of information thrown at you.
When she walked you to the door, the sun dipping low in the sky already, she placed a hand on each one of your shoulders and looked at you both intently.
"Promise me you will not squander this gift," she said. "You have no idea how unusual it is for mates to find one another again. The odds are astronomical and yet here you are, reunited by a twist of fate."
You had no idea what to say. You looked up at Dave sheepishly and he smiled warmly at you before saying, "We promise."
Once back in his car, silence surrounding you even though your minds were buzzing with activity, he reached for your hand.
"Do you believe her?" he asked. You bit the inside of your cheek and stared straight ahead down her long driveway before slowly nodding and turning to face him.
"I think I do."
A big grin stretched across his face and he brought the back of your hand up to his lips. "I think I do, too."
You giggled and ran your fingers through your hair, a rush of adrenaline burning through your veins.
"Now what?" you asked him, letting him drop your hand so he could shift his car into drive.
But before he pressed on the gas, he gave you one final look and said, "I don't know, but whatever it is, we'll do it together."
122 notes · View notes
violettwrites · 2 days
Text
the fence is white. the lawn is dead. 🏹 daryl dixon
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a/n: hi guys !! sorry i haven’t been super active lately but this popped into my head tonight and i thought i’d post it for y’all !! i hope you enjoy 🫶🏻
if you enjoyed, please don’t forget to like, reblog, and/or comment !!
this is my masterlist
and my ask box is currently open !
summary: as the greene farm falls, reader reminisces on her time growing up at the farm. a certain southern male comes along to make sure she gets away safely.
pairing: daryl dixon x greene!daughter (middle child)
warnings: angst !!?
word count: 670
— — —
there was nothing more you hated than the apocalypse. because all it did was take. it took the people you loved the most: your mother, step brother, friends, and now, the place you had grown up in, where you called home.
standing there in the distance as you watched the flames take over the barn, reflecting in your eyes. it could be seen for miles— and to you? it looked like the end of the world. you continued to watch, frozen in place as the place you grew up was overrun by walkers.
that’s all this world did now. it took, and took, and took. and it would continue to do so until everything was gone. until there was nothing left but the undead.
you squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, just wishing that you could go down with your family home— but you knew you couldn’t. because you had to survive. keep the memory alive. because once you were all gone? there would be no one to remember the greene family farm.
pulled from your thoughts by a familiar rumble of a motorbike engine, you turned your head to see a headlight pointed at you; the familiar silhouette getting off his bike and making his way over to you. his pace was rushed, but still steady.
you had grown close with the southern male during his group’s stay at your family’s farm— he had taught you how to use his crossbow, and you had taught him how to ride a horse after he had admitted to you that he was scared of them.
”they’re just too big,” he huffed, arms leaning on the fence of the stables as you stood on the other side, hand brushing over the neck of chestnut, a smile on your face.
“they’re gentle giants,” you retorted, shaking your head as you continued to pat the brown gelding, fingers brushing through his mane.
“c’mon, we gotta go,” daryl called out to you as he neared you, arm immediately wrapping around your shoulders in an attempt to lead you back to his bike.
“it’s gone—“ your voice cracked as you spoke, looking over your shoulders as you let him lead you. you knew better than to put up a fight, especially with a horde that big, but it still split your heart in two. seeing the place you and your sisters grew up just taken away.
you could remember every single little detail about growing up there. the grass between your toes during the summer, how you and beth would take turns on the tire swing your father had put up in the tree, and the many, many arguments between all three of you girls, but you wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
“i know,” daryl spoke softly, his voice low as he moved to stand in front of you, fingers brushing your hair off your face. usually, you would blush. but right now you couldn’t even think straight. “‘m sorry, darlin’. but we really gotta go.”
daryl climbed onto his bike, hands on the handle bars as he looked at you. waiting. you took one more look at the place you called home before climbing onto the back of daryl’s bike, arms wrapping around your torso before he sped off down the dirt road— assuming towards the rest of the group.
you watched the barn in the side mirror of daryl’s bike, your heart crumbling in your chest as you pressed your cheek against his shoulder blade, tears slipping down your cheeks. you could feel him move his hand from the handles of the bike, gently placing it over your hands on his stomach, giving you a gentle squeeze. the gesture was small, but it made you feel less alone in the moment.
with his hand back on the handle, you closed your eyes as you let the wind whip around you, memories flooding your mind as you left your home behind, trying to keep every single memory locked in your mind forever.
80 notes · View notes
713-4th-ward-g · 11 months
Text
.
2 notes · View notes
broken-clover · 5 months
Text
It's eternally a little funny whenever I see someone say something along the lines of 'everyone in Strive is so happy now! Everyone's stories are getting resolved! It'll be hard to make a new game when everyone's retired and living peacefully and resolved their problems' and then there's a haunted semi-sentient mecha corpse in the corner constantly screaming from being trapped in limbo
51 notes · View notes
yuridovewing · 23 days
Text
like guys i promise im aware blossomfall is meant to be a glass child. i just think she’s a poorly written one lmao
#tbh thats why my feelings on her are so strong. its a delicate topic for kids but time and time again#its been handled extremely poorly and just used as an excuse to hate disabled people#i think my exhaustion with these stories is bc they were sorta shoved down my throat by the school board growing up#because they heard ‘’wow you got TWO autistic brothers??? your life must SUCK ASS AND BALLS have this book abt how autism ruins families’’#wow cool i feel so much better guys. both about the ableism my family faces in general and about my undiagnosed autism#if i had to think. and i havent read this in forever so i could be misremembering. i think a decent example of a glass child trope#is the sister from ‘’wonder’’ (the book. idk what the movie did)#because while she’s an important character who struggles with internalized ableism#the focus is still on auggie and HIS struggles with his own disability and the ableism he faces as a result#and the sister isnt demonized for her feelings but she does still have to grapple with them#and accept her situation and that no one is at fault or anything. its just a consequence of an ableist society more than anything#again. been forever and ever since i read that book and iirc it does still have iffy shit like the one chapter on genetics#like to this day that sticks out as an uncomfortable chapter and idk if i can say its fantastic rep bc of that#but idk. i remember liking it fine as a kid#i always appreciated books that tried to get into multiple perspectives on the issues#also this is just me and ik it goes against the definition of the term#but man. kinda wish we’d get a glass child character thats also disabled and their disability is undiagnosed or ignored#for the sake of only prioritizing their sibling and bc they have to be ‘’the perfect abled child’’#because thats my story lol#wasnt allowed to be disabled or imperfect or need help because being a third disabled kid wouldve been too much
10 notes · View notes
Text
Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
8 notes · View notes
makkie-is-screaming · 8 months
Text
I should fucking kill myself
#I have this anger and dislike towards my little brother that’s totally unwarranted like he’s 10 it’s just my issues#n whenever I feel his hatred towards him I want to gut myself like#it’s not his fault that my moms a better mom for him n that he’s not scared of her#It’s not his fault that my dads sober and present for him#it’s not his fault that my older brother is a good brother to him n has never hurt him#it’s not his fault he’s not scared of telling someone he’s hurt or of getting food#it’s not his fault he parrots all of my parents insane conservative views#but I still hold so much anger and resentment#When I look at him I see him getting all the things I never got and being free of the traumas I went through#and I know it’s good and I’m happy he’s grown up in a safer environment but I’m so angry that I didn’t have those parents#and I know he’s also missing so many things I got#But it fucking hurts seeing how loved and safe he is and wishing I had been that innocent at that age#like when he’s fighting with my mom it’s over school work n video games n then he thinks he can talk shit ???#when I was fighting with my mom it was bc she came home from work in a rage#when I was mad at my dad it was because he got drunk n came home n yelled at my mom until she was crying in a corner then left#When I was screaming at my older brother it’s because I was tired of him hurting me not because he called me a name#I’m a horrible sister to him and I hate it because when he was a baby I was so fiercely protective of him and so happy to be his sister#I watched his shows with him and kept him entertained when my parents got bad n I promised myself I’d take care of him the way I never was#but I failed n now I can barely stand being around him#like I’m such a good sister to my sister but that’s it#n it makes me feel worse about my relationship w my brother bc I know I can be better but I’m just a horrible jealous bitch who should die#screaming
8 notes · View notes
engiiiiiii · 3 months
Text
i hold myself to these expectations that I must know i was trans at like 5. but that's just not how it works. respect to trans kids who defied their parents, they deserve our support but not all of us could even know so young. I had to get puberty to realise that everything sucked and I had gender dysphoria that I could hide very well as a child. I fully experimented with trans things. I remember pretending to see what it'd be like if I had no penis. i really loved having a high voice, being short. but I very much tried to conform for years, trying to grow masculine, speed through puberty to get the end results, which just ended with me being unable to cry added with rather painful gender dysphoria.
I think it finally makes sense. why I couldn't actually do what other boys could. why I was committed to gender neutrality. I knew trans people, I knew the words, but I thought the pathway didn't exist. I also managed to disconnect from my body - I essentially created a fake personality that's still haunting me. I could never be myself because. I hated myself. I was, y'know, trying to do something that hurt me. I'm gonna try to stop thinking I need to have an obvious sign at a very young age. because they were there, I just shunned it when the word existed. I knew how to fit in but that didn't not hurt me.
one last thing because this may be the last time I discuss this (unless I find out even more which is honestly unlikely) I remember hearing out about SRS at a young age when my dad asked if any of us would ever get it. My brother was full dolls and dress up - I don't think he was enthused though. I wonder what I said. I wonder if I cared. I wonder why I hated blue and pink so much because they were gendered at around 11. I only found about the true meaning of nonbinary a couple years ago.
I wonder how my life would've turned out in a family that doesn't want me dead.
3 notes · View notes
kyofsonder · 3 months
Text
I haven't had much time to write with my new study schedule and family things, and when I do have time I have to wade through a sludge of doubts and fears about my ability to write prose at all, and when I manage to push that aside I often hit locked doors with spoon-shaped keyholes and have no keys for them.
It's frustrating, but I eke out what words I can while working on improving my writing conditions any way I can.
Then I finally have the feeling I can pull off writing some poetry, something I feel even more scared of more often than prose -- but also something I know I won't be able to leave unfinished as easily as prose and will be more likely to create something complete -- and I get a spark of hope.
And I go to compose the poem and my brain hands me what can only be described as an all-emoji recipe for fried eggs and ice cream. Which is not, as far as I know, a poem. Or even the pieces to make a poem. It's simply. Emojis. Vibrant and colorful and wholly unhelpful.
Thank you, brain, but next time I'd like to actually make a poem or story. Please.
2 notes · View notes
ehlnofay · 6 months
Text
in the midst of a little depressive episode at the moment I fear and it's causing me to Ponder... in a weird way I'm almost grateful. like this is UNBELIEVABLY better than it used to be, even as much as it sucks in the moment. I wish I could go back to find myself at twelve years old hiding out in the school toilets and tell them that as long as we stick it out for long enough then one day the outsize bad emotions will be triggered by actual definable events and they'll be a noticeable change from our baseline. I'm not ✨recovered✨ and I don't know if I ever will be - I think I might have spent too many developmental years creating terrible patterns and associations to be able to straighten it all out - but it's Better and I'm able to know that it can continue to get better, too. and that's fucking huge.
#fay gets uncomfortably personal on her video game blog. NOT SORRY.#idk it's just crazy to think about#I really struggle to tap into this space enough to remember when I'm not actively in it#but I was SO FUCKING SICK back then. I was a child. and I was so fucking ill. I didn't know how young I was and I didn't realise how#disturbing it would feel down the line#(obviously. you don't lie down on the road in the middle of the night thinking 'I can't wait to suddenly remember this moment#in several years so it can become a sticking point in my psyche')#but like. that's my brother's age that's my sister's age I work with kids that age and it's so fucking young! and I'm so young now!#and I bet in five years I'll be going 'what a small little child... crazy' all over again#but like. idk. I was SO ILL. and I don't think it's like people say they thought they'd be dead by a certain age#it was a possibility for me but not an inevitability#but I don't think that I could have foreseen being better#in such a material way. you know. like I can't imagine myself ever fully healthy#or as close as anyone can get. I've had all this shit for so long. the idea of not carrying it anymore is honestly unappealing#like what would I even do without it. who would I be. how could that possibly happen#but this shit is BELIEVABLE. it's not gone it's just better and when it crops up I can deal#and I wish I could take the me of back then by the shoulders and say THIS IS NOT FOREVER!!!!!!!#ride it out long enough and you'll learn to live with it!!!!!!!!#it's just. really fucking huge. and I am so grateful#peace and love on planet earth!!!!
4 notes · View notes
gorillaxyz · 7 months
Text
once when my dad was really horrible to me I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HE DID but i do remember he got me so much moshi monsters stuff as an apology ☹️ and i remember being SO CONFUSED. AND I STILL AM. because he was always so so so so so horrible to me when i was a kid i think he was just frustrated bc my mum was never around to deal with me so he took it out on me but i URRHRGRHRHHHGYGY i miss being a child but also i dont I MISS IT SO MUCH but my mum was always at work and i was convinced my dad hated my guts but whatever its fine. i still remember so clearly him asking me to come up to his room abd i thought i was in troubke but he just gavw me so so so so so much stuff there was so much stuff i remember there was a tin full of moshi trading card packs and he just hugged me and he cried on my shoulder and i had no idea what was foing on or what he was sorry for
2 notes · View notes
pensiveant · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
I don't want to derail this post with my insane oversharing but anyway I didn't have an imaginary older brother but I DID have an imaginary older sister. Because I was supposed to have an older sister but she died as a child and that made me the eldest. So I grew up obsessed with the idea of having an older sister (or a twin but that's a different sort of mental illness) and kind of made her up in my head. She didn't like me very much because not even in my most intimate fantasies can I be that self indulgent, but she was always there for me when I needed advice or someone to talk to. My guiding light throughout a deeply lonely and isolated childhood. Then I started making friends as a teen and she faded away from my mind. Ok that's it thanks for listening bye
4 notes · View notes
nomaishuttle · 1 year
Text
guys remind me to watch la bamba later
#nicha said i should watch it#also nichas my beat friend thank gd for nicha. shes like the only irl person ive talked abt it with#and shes like . no you arent overreacting r you crazy . which makes me feel a LOT better#im so sad shes leaving thi :[[ she keeps telling me t move t great wolf lodge with her JFNFJFBF#and she said that if i ever need a ride to a job interview or a drs appt or anything like that t just ask. shes my bestiee#she has a yojnger sister my age (18 (nicha is 25 BTW) but her sister sucks so nicha literally said I wish you were my sister instead.#common kamille w. she also said im her favorite and i get all rhe stuff on her cart when she leaves ^-^ yay#but tbh. i might frrr look into great wolf lodge bc their starting pay is $18 dollars an hour#plus its. hotel work. which is wayy easier than apt cleaning if im being fully honest#and allegedly its closer to my house sooo...#plus. nicha fiona and i thinkk nee? r all leaving? which leaves me dee and brenda ? brother i gtg im not gonna be one of 3 housekeepers.#ik theyd hire more but i just got here i cant be like the 3rd most senior housekeeper 💀#sry 4 doxxing myself. potentially#oh also the pay here is 16 dollars an hour with literally no room for growth#brenda is housekeeping lead and she makes like. 17.#nee i think has been here almost since the place opened and she still only makes like 16.... which is insane#so ya i might look into gwl.#im mainly scareddd abt getting rides bc rn marian gives me a ride...#n like she could probably still give me a ride in the morning if im sooo niceys but likee. yk. how would i get home at da end of the day#ik i should just suck it up and ask my roommates bc kate is rly nice and prolly wouldnt mind but. gets scared... she also works closing#shifts so she wouldnt be able t bring me home. lily works a ton of different shifts so its not rly a reliable thang so i cant ask her#plus.everything. and then hal . yeah obvious reasons hes not giving me a ride LOL
3 notes · View notes
salsflore · 1 year
Text
4 notes · View notes
autumnrory · 2 years
Text
it’s so funny how much kids seem to like me when i struggle so much understanding the words they’re saying if they’re really little and i’m BETTER at interacting with them than i used to be after all these years with my nephew and nieces but still like. kinda awkward
i like them too, to be clear, kids are the fucking BEST even if i don’t want them for myself. but i’m always just kind of stunned when kids attach themselves to me seemingly so easily
#and it's just like?? most of the kids i interact with?#started with my nephew when he was much younger i'd guess not long after we met and started spending time together#and my older niece is much the same way when she comes over she wants to take me around with her#their younger sister not so much but she's still p exclusively attached to her parents it seems#so maybe in a year or two for her#and then my godson sure bc i've gone theirs a couple times a year every year for giving him birthday and christmas presents#but his siblings all get excited to see me too (sidebar his younger sister was dressed so cute today and i'm like#it was not like that when i was 10 oh my god)#and the youngest is more shy in general i think but he was v shy of me when i was over just a few months ago#and today we played tossing coins back and forth to each other and he had the biggest smile on his face#and he wanted to show me some toys in his room#and then he had one of those blankets that's also like a sort of lil costume of a monster#and he asked me to put it on him and then i did the whole pretending he's the monster that's gonna get me#but i was just like omg where did this turnaround come from you didn't wanna interact with me a few months ago#anyway kids are fascinating and also so fun and i love them i love them#i just wish i was better at the play stuff my brother apparently loves doing the make believe stuff with his daughter#which doesn't surprise me he's got a good imagination but yeah i'm always just like. idk how to do this#tbf i don't think kids really notice/care as long as you're engaging with them and all but still i just wish i was better at it#especially bc like if i WERE...working with kids might be fun but idk#personal
2 notes · View notes