#i wish i knew how to stop it
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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grandpa & his slimy widowed bf love loses
#stardew valley#stardew valley spoilers#sdv#sdv spoilers#mister qi#mr. qi#grandpa#god i wish we. knew his name so i could stop just calling him Grandpa asfhdfdggsdfgs#farmer#at the very end just trying to eat their salad#anyway to me this is how these 2 are/were. back when they were porsntially business partners or w/e#like. morally bankrupt businessman/conman/CEO. and his ray of sunshine farmer who is also insane but in a different way#wwwwww i cant do a tag essay but yeah goodnighttt
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List of queer books I read, loved & recommend!
(There isn't any particular order, I wrote these as I remembered them)
Master Of One - Jaida Jones & Dani Bennett (mlm, fantasy, very cool worldbuilding and magic system, funny, cool characters)
Legends & Lattes - Travis Baldree (wlw, fantasy, very soft & chill vibes)
The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon (wlw, high fantasy, cool worldbuilding, kinda reminds me of LOTR but with more dragons and feminism and lesbians)
Even Though I Knew The End - C.L. Polk (wlw, supernatural noir, cool 1930s detective story with angels & demons, I loved this one!)
The Love Interest - Cale Dietrich (mlm, science fiction, very cool concept)
The Darkest Part Of The Forest - Holly Black (side mlm, fantasy, cool fae lore)
The Weight Of The Stars - K. Ancrum (wlw, not quite science fiction but space stuff is involved, lovely and complex characters)
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz (mlm, fiction, very nice in general, there is also a sequel)
The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue - Mackenzi Lee (mlm, historical and vaguely fantasy, nice story but I preferred the sequel honestly)
The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy - Mackenzi Lee (wlw, the sequel to the one before, more fantasy elements than the first, asexual main character!!)
Gallant - V.E. Schwab (no romance, but in the background one of the characters(?) uses they/them pronouns, very cool dark fantasy vibe)
Stranger Than Fanfiction - Chris Colfer (gay main character, trans main character, coming-of-age, nice book)
Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (yes it's the Love, Simon book, mlm, fiction, pretty nice)
They Both Die At The End - Adam Silvera (mlm, sci-fi ish but mostly fiction, cool ideas, but the ending is sad! Very amazing book though, I haven't read the prequel yet)
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid (wlw, bi main character, historical fiction, cool story, just a neat book in general)
This Is How You Lose The Time War - Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone (wlw, sci-fi, very cool time travel stuff!! and very beautiful, it felt like reading poetry most of the time)
One Last Stop - Casey McQuinston (wlw, background trans & pan & queer characters, sci-fi or fantasy idk, but time travel, I loooved this book, great)
The House In The Cerulean Sea - TJ Klune (mlm, fantasy, THIS BOOK oh my gosh you should read it!!, just cute and lovely and good)
Under The Whispering Door - TJ Klune (mlm, fantasy, this book is also sooo amazing, great character development and awesome relationships and stuff, it's been a while since I read it but it was so good)
In the Lives of Puppets - TJ Klune (mlm, ace main character!!, sci-fi, now THIS is found family, oughh feelings. argh, tj klune you’ve done it again, a human and his family of funky robots… I love them)
And They Lived... - Steven Salvatore (nblm, fiction, about gender identity and learning to love yourself, read it a while ago but it was very nice)
I Wish You All The Best - Mason Deaver (nblm, fiction, about finding your identity and people who care about you, very cute and sweet)
The Song Of Achilles - Madeleine Miller (mlm, historical, very good in general)
Carry On - Rainbow Rowell (mlm, background wlw in the third book, fantasy, it's a trilogy, basically Harry Potter if it was gay and also better)
Silver In The Wood - Emily Tesh (mlm, fantasy, very pretty, lots of fae stuff and lovely descriptions, it has a really good sequel too)
Pretty much anything by Alice Oseman (all cute and lovely and great, though I've only read Radio Silence so far I hear only good things, Solitaire is on my to-read list)
I Kissed Shara Wheeler - Casey McQuinston (wlw, fiction, it's been a while but I liked this book)
The Falling In Love Montage - Ciara Smyth (wlw, fiction, this book was so cute and funny and deeply emotional it made me Feel way too many things, I'd definitely recommend it)
What Big Teeth - Rose Szabo (a bit of queerness all around, fantasy, werewolves and monsters, this one was pretty cool!, lots of original ideas for the world/character building)
His Quiet Agent - Ada Maria Soto (mlm, asexual, fiction, about like spies but this book was so gentle and sweet I wanted to cry in the best way possible)
Some By Virtue Fall - Alexandra Rowland (wlw, historical fiction(?), theatre drama!! rival romance!! duels!!, a very good read in general)
Don’t Want You Like a Best Friend - Emma R. Alban (wlw, historical fiction, I’m not usually one for regency romances, but I really liked this!!, very cute and lots of drama, and there’s a sequel coming out soon!)
#any recommendations are appreciated!#honestly I might've forgotten some#lgbtqia#book recs#master of one#legends & lattes#the priory of the orange tree#even though i knew the end#the love interest#the darkest part of the forest#the weight of the stars#aristotle and dante#the gentleman's guide to vice and virtue#the lady's guide to petticoats and piracy#gallant#stranger than fanfiction#simon vs the homosapiens agenda#they both die at the end#the seven husbands of evelyn hugo#this is how you lose the time war#one last stop#and they lived...#i wish you all the best#the song of achilles#carry on#radio silence#alice oseman#the house in the cerulean sea#under the whispering door#silver in the wood
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bro looks like he’s on the verge of breaking down
he’s gonna curl up into a ball on the ground while charles just watches
#how they hell does he manage to show all his teeth#dentists must really like him#if moira didn’t interrupt it might of happened#that or cherik making out who knows#did the president really have to make an address NOW?#couldn’t he have waited idk a few more hours 🤨#i wonder how erik learnt to push against magnetic fields to make himself fly#like did shaw ‘help’ him#or was it charles#or maybe he just figured it out for himself#they show him flying at the end#the horse used the elevator? i didn’t know he knew how to do that 🤨#would’ve been cool if they showed him doing it during the training week#cherik moment but erik picking charles up then skyrocketing into the sky#i just got distracted by clouds but i need a one shot or something of him doing that#damn it really windy up there#um okay imma stop rambling before this gets too long#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#professor x#magneto#wish does not shut up
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first post ever yay!!!! buck del mar and eddie twist
#911 fanart#buddie#buck and eddie#brokeback mountain#or should i say brokeBUCK mountain#i wish i knew how to quit you#i can't stop thinking about them#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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Ya know, Castlevania tackled the concept that life after defeating Dracula could be difficult for a Belmont with Richter feeling like he’d lost all purpose and reason to go on living if not for saving others and fighting against something—
But, do you think any of them before him felt that way too?
I mean it sounds kind of miserable, being raised your whole life to be solely relied on for one moment… and then what? How do you handle the sudden shift to ‘not being needed anymore’? Evidently, most of them didn’t have very much happen to them after the events of their games since we don’t get to know—
But, do you think any of them ever got better? Do you think anyone before Richter ever learned how to live for themselves? Did Richter?
Anyway it’s 8 PM and I’m sitting around wondering if any of the Belmonts were still happy after their happy endings (debatable if certain ones got happy endings tbh but anyway), Konami can u check on them, I’m worried—
#like do you think Trevor ever stopped going out looking for stragglers#do you think he couldn’t convince himself it was ever really over after Curse of Darkness#what do you think Christopher thought about handing the whip over to his son#do you think ever he wished he didn’t have to— do you think he hoped somehow he’d stopped it forever that last time#do you think Soleil felt the same after he had to past it on#how long do you think Simon thought about how he could’ve done it differently— do you think he thought he didn’t do well enough#do you think Simon died feeling like the family’s second failure#do you think Juste felt like his encounter didn’t count#do you think he and Maxim felt similarly about needing to be important#hmm just a lot of things to think about#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#text post#akumajou dracula#incoherent rambling#let me tell you when I say I have headcanons about tiny intricacies of characters#I have headcanons about tiny intricacies about characters—#like here’s one: Simon puts his hands on or scratches the back of his neck as a nervous tic—#he likes the color byzantine he puts his eartails back when fighting cause they get in the way he sleeps on his face cause his back hurts—#he jokes about the bad situations he’s in he idolizes people way too easily and he takes everything people say to heart but doesn’t show it#I think he probs didn’t take beating Dracula the first time very well if Richter’s possession being inspired by his Quest means anything—#aoouggh then I take the ending of CV2 the way I do and mannnnnnnnnn—#do you think he knew people would care about and look up to him so much after that?#does anyone else think about things like this?#ah the tragedy of the Belmont family#hmmm anyway—
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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Every time I see a person bitch about my favorite slice of life slowburn show in its tag, my love for it multiples tenfold
#i hear the sunspot#wish you guys knew how to stop watching the shows you don't like and didn't fill the tag with your negativity#a girl can dream#can't even find one nice gifset to reblog without reading 5 HORRIBLE takes
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I do want to say that I feel a but relieved that it was not suicide per say(as it looks like till now) , most likely a drug overdose case gone wrong here. With this, atleast I feel Liam was not actively trying to end things for himself in a way.. it is accidental but all more tragic that it could be prevented if people used their brains!
learning that made me feel better too... but then also worse... but then better again... like it's all just fucking terrible. In the end it does make me feel better that he wasn't suffering that acutely in that way in that moment, that was really so horrific to imagine and live with, and of course for the people in his actual life who survive him the guilt would have been unbearable. I do feel better ever since I, also, reached that conclusion from reading about what happened. But also... he didn't want to die, he wanted to stay around and keep doing things and trying. And he's gone. And that's just so tragic and fucking useless. I let spotify Get me earlier with their 'remember Liam' playlist and listening to him say "I want to get better" and "I want to be a better man" in song after song.... it's crushing. I wanted that for him too, for him to have that chance. There are so many ways things could have been better for him, but now all of those possibilities are just... dead. It's just garbage, I hate death and people dying and I'm really honestly just fucking sick of it.
#cw death details#and yeah.... yet another person dead of drug use and stigma#I can't stop thinking about how#I spent so many hours and hours over years talking to people about the things we wanted for Liam#the ways his life could be better#the things we'd like to see happen and we'd want to see him focus on instead of what he was#that we thought would bring him more happiness and allow him to ...be okay#and for what where did all that care and love go what good did it do#so many people so many hours of care and hope sent into the world.... and it doesn't feel like it did any good#so much love wasted I wish we could have made him feel strong#strong enough to be the better man he knew he wanted to be#on a lighter note. did yall know/ remember that liam uses the lyric 'I only got two eyes'😂#like its a liam song so obviously it's in a sad and worrisome context but still lmao
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okay but once AGAIN: the Bennet sisters are not actually a united front, nor do they share a close bond. It’s shocking how divided and splintered they are (symptom of the house they grew up in.)
#I never stop beating this dead horse I’m so sorry.#but it’s just like. yeah that’s sweet that Rosamund pike enjoyed playing a bunch of sisters she was close to.#but literally …… not …… canon ……. behavior.#Lizzy and Jane are friends. Kitty and Lydia are inseparable.#when Lydia separates herself Kitty gets sort of adopted#and Mary is unfortunately the odd duck out#and that’s just the way it is. (also I refuse to feel false sympathy for Mary.) (a sentimentality beyond my powers or desire)!#‘I want to hear more about Mary Bennet! what’s her story!’ is an insane take to me#Mary is a silly (and stubborn in her silliness) side character. maybe she grows up one day maybe she doesn’t#it isn’t my business nor the readers#I do think it’s funny and yes a little cruel how Mr. Bennet insists on including her in his list of silly daughters#it’s a failing on his part. as is his disdain/amusement at any of his daughters#but you know WHAT. he isn’t wrong#Mary wished to say something sensible but knew not how Bennet is not a tortured side character with a lonely soul.#she’s a 19 year old in a very foolish stage#she’s also vain!#like girl. literally no one wants your concertos here#sorry you have such unhelpful parents but like …
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If I were to write Qui-Gon and Dooku meeting for the first time, it would go something like this:
Yoda: “A Padawan you should consider training.”
Dooku: “I’m not interested in a Padawan.”
Baby Qui-Gon: “Master Dooku, I got you this rock because you look sad and I thought it would make you feel better.”
Dooku:
Dooku: “I’ve decided on who I’m taking as a Padawan.”
Yoda: “Ten minutes it has been.”
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#qui gon jinn#dooku#count dooku#yoda#i wish we knew their backstory#but until we do#this is how i’m imagining it went#and no one can stop me
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My dads hobby is writing songs and playing guitar. It’s his special interest. His music isn’t for me, I’m not sure if that’s as a result of hearing incessant guitar noodling when I lived at home or his overall vibe.
He is negative percent good at taking feedback. When told he sounds better not singing falsetto his next several songs were all falsetto. When saying he mumbles his lyrics and sings too fast to actually understand he just disagrees.
He’ll play open mics and stuff and it makes him happy. Generally even though I have no idea what he’s on about I’ll just make vaguely supportive noises and I don’t try to give feedback. If he’s happy, whatever.
Several months ago while grabbing lunch he started telling me about his new song. It’s about a homeless man. I grew wary at once. My parents are vaguely misinformed liberals and I did not like to think what he, a very well off white man, had thrown together on the subject.
He read out the lyrics, verses romanticizing living on the street, with increasingly vulgar descriptions of how smelly and ugly this man was, and a tag line about how he’d give you the shirt off his back because he was so generous.
I started vibrating with emotion but I tried to ask what his message was. What did he actually want to convey about homeless people? He shrugged and said he didn’t have one, that the song was just meant to think about homeless people.
I tried with increasing desperation to steer him in any other course and he just dug his heels in and told me it was good and he wouldn’t change any lyrics. He’d only shared them to get praises and wasn’t interested in adjustment. In a temper I challenged him to go sing that to a homeless person and see what they thought of this bullshit view of their hardships.
It was rough. The lunch ended in brittle silence. He is incapable of dropping subjects and responds with sullen brooding if people refuse to keep arguing.
Since then every get together he insists he needs to play it for me. That hearing the melody will change my mind. I ask if he’s changed the lyrics and he goes into a huge huff.
We all went to see The Boy and the Heron tonight and he griped that I was judging him. I insisted we drop the subject and now I’m wracking my brain to find some way to lay the issue to rest. Changing his mind is almost certainly impossible and I’m not going to lie and say I think it’s good, but I’m sick of this.
#ramblies#I’m like- I have friends who’ve experienced homelessness#if he won’t listen to me maybe I could arrange for him to play it and get feedback from someone who’s actually been there#I wish he’d stick to writing about magic birds and weird shit#he wrote a song about me when I was a teen called the ‘no’ song about how stubborn and disagreeable I was#but that as a result he wasn’t worried for when boys came around because he knew I’d say no to them to#and after protesting it for years about how it made me feel like shit I finally had to cry and tell him I’d been raped before he stopped
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Tempted to turn anons off for the whole premiere week I swear
#because of the weird anons on ewan dying in my inbox#putting this in the tags because i saw a lot of posts on this and i don’t want to kill the mood#but i’m genuinely baffled#i think there’s a teeny tiny part of Ewan fans who thought of him as some sort of mannequin which they dressed up with anything that pleased#them the most#when in fact we knew nothing of him and that’s fine he’s a real person he deserves to have the privacy he wishes for#he’s like this or he’s like that for months on end#i mean i get curiosity. curiosity is normal and it’s a good thing#but please stop whining about how suddenly Ewan is not the one you built in your own head#that’s called head canon and it works for fiction not for real people
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im not lying when i say that i was just finally getting "over" totk, like i hate it still, but the immediate anger and need to rant has died down-
and then the elden ring DLC fucks with me in a very similar way, just even moreso focused on my favorite character in that entire franchise, completely unexpectedly, and the more i learn about it the worse it gets and now i feel even worse bc i dont have the energy anymore to get as angry as i did with totk and its just kinda ... depression and sadness ..
it was like the interest i could fall back to when zelda annoyed me too much or i needed a break from that and i was honestly thinking about doing more with it but now
i know i know i can always draw 'my own stuff' but being a fan of a piece of media or character is just fun and .. furfilling to me in a different way and now i feel so empty again ... and finding new things to obsess about is easier said and done bc i dont 'decide' to stop liking something and neither can just decide to obsess over something so im just kinda left hanging here ... and in a way, i still like it and care about it, frustratingly so, and dont WANT to just stop and find soemthign new ...
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring#zelda#in a way#AND it adds to me just ranting#and complaining#like i wasnt literallly a few days ago beating myself up about that#now i have the next thing#and its almost as bad as it was with totk#with the only difference being that i dont have the energy left to yell that much#and that its the second time now in such a short time span relatively to how long i keep my interests and how long it takes to find one#so in a way it hurts even worse#.... also when the whole thing is kinda bad then at least the whole thing is kinda bad#but here its like specifically my fav#and i dont want to and cant let him just .. go#but at the same time ............. its been so shifted around completely idk what to make of it#idk what the point was to make and present him like he was in the base game and then do such a turn in the DLC#and it feels less like he was someones important favorite nd more like most hated character#bc why would you do that to him like this#you can argue all you want about how it makes sense actually and wahtever but this is what i feel right now ok#what am i even drawing for anyway#what am i even thinking about any stories for anyway#why am i caring about anything anyway#i wish i knew and could stop
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the punk to capitalist pipeline is kinda insane and makes no sense to me
and yet that is what mcr (and many others who aren't famous) have done
#my chemical romance#mcr#the way in which the band has done fuck all to make ticket prices reasonable is insane#other bands have fixed the issue with ticketmaster#they are perfectly capable of it#but no#instead they're celebrating because scalpers have sold them out#which means fuck all if half of the audience is not fans#I cannot stress enough for people to Not Buy A Ticket If It's Overpriced#I understand you desperately want to see them#but they are actively abusing you right now#when the economy is in shambles too#it's downright predatory what's happening#I wish I knew how to check voting records in the usa because I am starting to have some serious doubts about mr Toro and mr Way#tbh both mr Ways are on my enemy list#we all know Frank is simply an idiot at the core#literally blinded by his obsession for mcr#but at least he technically still has the brain to be decent#it probably helps that he hangs out with so many people who are significantly less successful#and that he's in ls dunes which is comparatively tiny#anyway remember what pete wentz said y'all:#Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows#mcr will not understand wtf they are doing unless we make it very fucking clear by Not Going To Their Nostalgia Tour#by spitting in their face and yelling “Fuck You!!!”#Gerard Way is all words and no actions#I don't know why people look up to him
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I love you gorgug x maryann espresso edit that exists in my head
#and i got this one boy.... and he wont stop callin..... when they act this way... i know i got em#i wish i knew how to make those edits lmfao#fhjy#gorgug x mary ann#skuttlespring
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